#ok that's enough I could talk about this for hours
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Remember Me
Part 3
Summary: After years of being separated from your love, James (Bucky) Buchanan Barnes, you finally find him again. But he’s different. Too different. Not only does he forget himself but you and Steve as well. Can he get his memories back?
‼️Trigger Warnings will be noted if needed at the beginning of chapter.‼️
Triggers: reader not taking care of themselves, starving, self deprication, Steve Rodgers being an ass
Use of Y/N in this chapter. Sorry not sorry.
A/N: for anyone actually keeping up with this I’m so sorry this chapter took so long😂
“Of course you can stay with me Sargent. I’ve been waiting for you.”
He smiled that beautiful smile. The one you thought you’d never see again but were blessed to see so many times in the past hour.
“Don’t smile at me like that.” You blushed.
“Like what?” He asked. Genuinely confused as it was how he smiled at everything that made him genuinely happy.
“Like that. That smile you always do that gets us into trouble. The one you know would get us into trouble here. You know the one.”
There wasn’t a specific smile. It was just him. He was so unabashedly happy to be back in your presence no matter how little he remembered it hadn’t even occurred to him that he probably looked a little deranged.
He couldn’t remember the last time he smiled. Literally.
He frowned.
You furrowed your brow from the sudden change of Bucky’s emotions.
“What’s wrong?” You asked.
He whispered so quietly you almost didn’t catch it. It didn’t help that he was looking at the ground.
“I don’t remember the last time I smiled.”
He looked up at you again, eyes watering.
You tentatively reached around his waist with one arm before reaching around with the other. Just in case.
He stood rigidly. His arms to his sides and breathing heavily. You pressed your whole body to him hoping your closeness would ease his tension like it used to. But it didn’t. Instead, it made everything worse.
With his one arm he wrenched you away from himself and his once gorgeous blue eyes were now steel. He wasn’t there anymore. He almost looked like him. The one that haunted your dreams now. The Winter Soldier. But he wasn’t. The Soldier wasn’t quite there. But he was there enough.
“Leave.”
Your head snapped up. Unsure you heard him correctly you asked him to repeat himself.
“I said leave. Stop waiting for someone who isn’t coming back.”
You gaped at him. Everything was ok. He was fine a minute ago. You were fixing your relationship, getting to know each other again. It was wonderful. But now.
You weren’t sure if you were going to be able to have a relationship if it was going to be like this every time you got close to him. It wouldn’t work. In no reality would that work.
“B-Bucky?” you stuttered
“I SAID GET OUT!”
He shoved you away and took hold of your wrist leading you out of the hut and quite literally threw you out.
You landed on your hands and knees with tears in your eyes.
Steve didn’t see much but he saw you get thrown out. He ran as fast as he could to get to you.
“Hey. What happened? You alright?”
You slowly got to your knees and looked at your hands. You started picking out the gravel that had embedded itself in your palms.
You slowly and calmly looked Steve directly in the eyes.
“He’s gone Steve. There isn’t anything we can do.”
Steve flinched.
“What are you talking about ‘He’s gone’? What’s going on? Y/N what happened in there!”
You got up off your knees and found Shuri near the edge of the lake.
“Thank you for all your help Shuri. I know you’ve done everything you can. But I think it’s too late. He’s gone.”
And that’s when you broke down. You couldn’t fight the tears.
You found Steve beside you and buried yourself in his chest. If Bucky wouldn’t hold you at least you knew your friend would.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 Weeks Later
Steve was never good at speaking to women. Saying hello in and of itself was a general hardship for him.
Except for you. Since Bucky had found you all those years ago you and Steve had become good friends. Steve was grateful for that.
Steve couldn’t talk to women. But he could talk to you. You weren’t just a woman. You were his best friend and his other best friend’s…girlfriend? Fiancé?
Whatever you were to Bucky he wasn’t quite sure. But you were important enough that he had bought you a ring and you had worn it. Even after thinking he had been dead for 70 years.
He wasn’t sure if Bucky was still there anymore. If anything that had happened in Wakanda was anything to go by. Steve would bring him back though. For you.
As he wandered the halls of the Avenger’s compound alone with his thoughts Steve decided to try to visit you again. Even though you probably wouldn’t see him.
You hadn’t spoken to anyone. He hadn’t seen you leave your room or even order anything to your room. He had asked FRIDAY if you had been at least eating but you had instructed FRIDAY not to tell anyone and that “If it’s Blondie asking, tell him I’ll eat when I feel like it.”
He’d been getting that same message for months. He hoped you were still alive at this point.
Steve stopped at your door and took a breath before knocking.
Knock knock knock.
He waited a minute.
He was greeted with the deafening silence of the empty compound.
But he soon heard a rustling coming from the other side of the door. And then the sound of feet shuffling closer and closer to the door until it slowly creaked the tiniest bit open.
He was shocked. You looked awful.
“Hey Steve.”
That was it. 2 weeks of silence, not knowing if you were taking care of yourself, if you were dead and all he got was ‘Hey Steve’? Nope not ok.
“‘Hey Steve?’ That’s it? Really Y/N? That’s all I get? HEY FUCKING STEVE?!”
You flinched. You knew you deserved it. Hiding in your room for the past 2 weeks. He tried to help you. You just wanted to die.
“Yeah. Just hey Steve.”
You started to shut the door but he smashed his hand between the door and the jamb before you could close it all the way and he forced the door completely open.
You couldn’t wither away and lose a grotesque amount of weight like an average person as a super soldier. But you still managed to somehow look like it.
You motioned to the box by the couch in the living room.
“They sent me his things the day after we got back. Well, his backpack and the clothes on his back.”
Steve looked at you warily. It explained the slight look of insanity. You missed him. Too much.
You wished it was him in your room. Not a box of clothes and backpack of memories.
He needed the backpack. Wherever he was.
“You should go Steve.”
“What do you mean I should go? You need help! A therapist. Something!”
“You shouldn’t be here,” you whispered “it’s not proper.”
“THIS IS THE 1940’s Y/N! BUCKY DOESN’T HAVE TO BE HERE FOR IT TO BE ‘PROPER’. AND GUESS WHAT? YOU WEREN’T EVEN MARRIED! HE HADN’T EVEN PROPOSED YET SO IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN PROPER ANYWAY!”
You knew he was right. You mentally rolled your eyes. He was always right.
“Ya know what? Fine. Sit here and wallow in your pain and his bloodied tattered clothes and books of faded memories. It’s not going to help bring him back!”
And with those last stinging words Steve left. Making sure to slam the door behind him like the dramatic ass he is.
#bucky x female reader#bucky x y/n#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky fanfic#james bucky buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes#Bucky
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once again thinking about my (thus far unproduced) magnum opus: a crime and punishment muppet movie
#raskolnikov is the only human obviously#it's a perfect visual metaphor for his alienation from society and is also funny as fuck#in an ideal world he would be played by Cillian Murphy but I think at this point the man may be too old#so I'd have to find someone else with the graceful and devastating features of a cemetery angel....sigh....#because unfortunately raskolnikov is beautiful and that's why everyone tolerates his deranged behavior#razumikhin is rowlf the dog#Sonya is camilla the chicken#dunya is miss piggy#svidrigailov is either uncle deadly or kermit playing against his usual type which would be very interesting#and porfiry is gonzo#ok that's enough I could talk about this for hours
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hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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Haunting
Will Byers + Strangers by Ethel Cain
@bylerween2023 | Day 1: Ghosts & Hauntings
unfortunately, it's not looking like my fic for bylerween will be done in time to share today, so I'm sharing the graphic that would have gone with it! strangers is one of my favorite songs, it's very haunting and very will coded, and I felt that it fit for the theme lol. the larger fic idea is that will did die in the upside down, and when mike goes to visit the now abandoned byers house, he sees will's ghost. hoping I can finish it by the november 22nd deadline🫡
#mike after being metaphorically haunted for years and now it's literal:😃😃😃#strangers is not a song about ghosts but also it is. to the enlightened mind. I get it. ask me i could talk about it#hope this is ghostly enough for the theme#the background thing behind will also has ghosts if that helps. that's blue ghostly artwork#stranger things#byler#bylerween2023#will byers#day 1#ghosts & hauntings#tw implied death#also sorry this is more just a will thing and doesn't really have mike lmao. testing the limits on what is a byler post#saw bylerween rb a gifset that just had will though so I hope I'm correct in assuming it's ok if it's got a stronger focus#on only one of them#ok I'm done talking now I am overthinking this everyone enjoy i slaved for hours in picsart like a loser without photoshop#happy bylerween everyone!!
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That post about huge red flags from exes is going around and I’m like well mine requires some background reading
#xrdslog#um basically. made a bet they could convince me to kiss them and constantly hinted at it until it happened and then bragged about it a lot#then I told them I was aro#then we got a headmate that they had a crush on and started dating#and then used that to argue that I should date them bc it’s easier if it’s both of us#and then prioritized me over him#also: this headmate is one I have a father and son relationship with#so what the hell#also told me they fixated on people and they still loved me but they were fixated on their friend so couldn’t give me attention#their friend who they called their not-girlfriend. because that friend’s husband wasn’t comfortable with her being poly#and they still wanted to date her so they just called her that instead#gifted me an expensive adult toy and then took it and gave it to said not girlfriend#which. ok sure. but then why tell me it was a gift#demanded to talk to certain headmates and made a big fuss about knowing exactly who did what even though they were rarely correct#pushed me away whenever they were sad and then was upset I wasn’t comforting them#I baked banana bread once on a whim and then they constantly made me make it for them when I didn’t want to#NEEDED music playing at night and fans on them and they got upset if I didn’t want to sleep by them even though I couldn’t#‘pretended’ to choke me when I got a rare item in final fantasy before them#wanted to rp with me but demanded I start it because they were tired of starting rps with their friend. ok. not my fault ?#more than once tried to get me to sign a lease with them even though I had no money or job#got mad at me because my art was good? and they didn’t think theirs was or that they were creative?#did not ever compliment me without an insult attached for the last three years of our relationship#constantly tried to talk about sex or illegal things in front of my mom#constantly bragged about how they were going to become rich when their grandma died and hoped it happened soon#The Entire Trauma Part where they barely comforted me at all#oh also I spent basically sixteen hours a day in VC with them every day and they broke up with me for not spending enough time with them#even though I could not Possibly have spent More time with them#there is more than this. but this is off the top of my head. lol.
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Hey! I wanna thank you for your videos and wanted to tell u I watch them to boost my energy hehe.
2 genuine questions:
1-Do you, based on the show and Dennis' character, believe that he hates Mac or he actually Loves him? How do u see Dennis in general bc I see him as a person who doesn't see himself as a person bc he's scared and also doesn't think he'll be loved.
2- when did u start loving macdennis as a romantic pair and noticed the little things between them??
Thanks! I'm trying to dig up old stuff from the old official accounts that's no longer viewable/watchable in my free time so we can keep it alive circulating.
1. I believe Dennis hates that he loves Mac. He's always loved Mac, for some reason he just has, and slowly over time that's caused him to hate him more and more:
I see MADBU as the catalyst for Dennis' disdain toward Mac, when Dee pointed out their codependency and broke their glass closet. It wasn't that he hated Mac for who he was, not right then, but Dennis hated what their relationship meant for who he was. S6-12 is this constant battle of Dennis trying to 'find himself' in so many ways, maybe he should be married; no, he just needs a higher position in the bar, reins on everyone; yeah, it's the gang who have issues: he's perfect, he's the Golden God, a 5-star man, the Master of manipulation. Dennis built his front on being a manipulator, on wearing different faces, on controlling Mac, convincing everyone his cold, hard shell matches his interior, and Mac fell for it. Mac, who's supposed to know Dennis better than he knows himself, no longer knows who Dennis is.
Dennis' front was born out of his insecurities, his trauma, his rejection of labels and his fear of being known, his constant internal battle with himself for control. (DTAMHD kind of illustrates that beautifully, look inside his mind, see what he's going through, all internally, he's trying to reason with the world being against him inside, so on the outside he can present flawlessly (ha).) His front wasn't meant for Mac, Mac was the guy who he could talk to, but Mac is a little stupid and he fell for it, an unfortunate by-product, and Dennis hates that. He hates that Mac sees who he's projecting and not who he is inside.
The sad thing is, Mac is trying. But he's always doing it wrong, proving himself in the wrong ways, trying to get through Dennis' shell not because he wants to know him, but because he wants him. Dennis left, Dennis came back, and Mac had replaced him with a sex doll. An object, Dennis is an object of his affection. An object.
Mac doesn't understand the difference, between lust and love. Mac doesn't understand love outside of neglect and manipulation. Dennis has built his front on manipulation. Would Mac still love him if he knew who Dennis was outside of that? Does Mac even want to know who Dennis is? Or does he just want sex? Does he love him or is it all manipulation at this point? If that was gone, where would they be?
Mac doesn't know that Dennis is Johnny, Mac can't wrap his head around the fact that Dennis is Johnny, he can't be. (Why can't he be?) Dennis is Johnny, he's dropping hints that he is: Johnny likes the same things that Dennis does, but Mac doesn't know that, because Johnny isn't the Dennis that Mac knows. Mac doesn't know Dennis. If Mac doesn't know who Dennis really is, he doesn't love him, he just wants him and Dennis doesn't want sex from Mac, because he loves him, and he hates him for that. (But Mac is in love with Johnny, Johnny who never showed up for sex, Johnny who liked the same things Dennis does...What does that tell Dennis?)
2. This one is really hard for me to pinpoint. Macdennis grew on me gradually, and then hit really hard. Definitely due to the Dennis Front factor. I admit constantly I was very much a dudebro on the subreddit about this show for about 2 years... Oops, lol. (I always liked this ship, um, non-romantically..) When TASP started the conversations there convinced me I wasn't insane to read deeper into this show and I began seeing Dennis meta, that's when I started seeing it romantically, I suppose. The first rewatch you do after cracking through Dennis is absolutely mindblowing, lmfao.
#iasip#macdennis#dennis reynolds#dennis meta#i suppose... lol#ask#sorry this took me 2 hours to answer literally i opened this ask at 9pm and its 11:18pm lol#i cut a lot of my thoughts out cos this is more concise yk#but i could talk about macdennis love-hate dynamics forever and ever#ok to clarify cos rereading its a little choppy but i didnt wanna go into dennis' csa in this#but hopefully its clear enough that's what the major issue is
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I CRAVE YOUR YAPPING ABOUT MICK
FEED ME
i’ve been summoned!! is there anything specific you want to hear about… like i know wayyyy too much about that man. like i know parasocial relationships are evil or whatever but idc when it comes to peepaw i’ll be as parasocial as i want. like this is so dumb but i love that man carnally i need him in the most desperate and pathetic of ways…this is really weird so you can tell me if what i did was weird but last night i literally looked up his disease just to try and learn more about what he’d been going through for so long (honestly it kinda just depressed me a bit more tbh) i still think that man is a trooper. so strong and resilient…i know he isn’t as bothered when ppl call him a corpse or whatever but i really hate it when they do that. there’s so many ppl that think he’s scary looking but i can’t see that at all. he’s so beautiful i wish he knew how much people actually think he’s good looking.
(i fear i’ve already started…this is what happens when i just let go and don’t stick to a set topic lol)
#mötley crüe#mick mars#i could talk about that man for hours but i don’t want this ask to turn into an essay#who knew blue eyes and long black hair could charm a girl so easily#my ideal reality is just me and him watching old horror movies together#ok cheeseball that’s enough now#lily of the asks
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i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe
#had suchhh a good workday. had hot pot with my roommate where we talked about our quarter life crises#and then came home and had a 3 hour screaming match with both of my parents where i said i was cutting them out of my life#it turns out. my dad still does not understand what the word bi means even tho his fucking wife is bi#he was like 'so you marry someone and six months later you see someone else you like and u go marry them instead?'#like genuinely. truly trying to understand#and that shocked me enough to stop crying#do not reblog please#like in hindsight it is SO funny#and that was the point where i was like. wait is this not malice#this is homophobia but i don't think it's malice#anyways we're all Ok now#we've agreed that i'm going to do what i want#and even if they're unhappy they're still gonna have a relationship with me#and they'll figure out how to adjust#my brother periodically came into the room and also screamed at my parents#i feel bad for them a lil bit. like they're not bad people#after he left my mom told me that a week and a half ago#my brother came into her room and told her that when she died he would bury her in a grave instead#of the traditional last rites (cremation rituals etc etc)#if she wouldn't accept me#and my mom said she was on a bunch of meds cause she's sick so she was so out of it it didn't even register what he was going on about#and then today after that convo she was like WAIT A MIN WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS BOY SAY TO ME#funniest 16 year old u could have on your side#truly he kept coming into the room every 5 min and going HEY HAVE YOU BOTH CONSIDERED NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC. HAVE YOU.#HEY CAN U TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU STILL LOVE HER MAYBE??? THINK??? USE YOUR BRAIN???#this is why i would die for this kid#he's the best#he's such an idiot most of the time but when he's not being an idiot he's my favorite person on earth#don't tell him that tho anyone please#he'll hold it against me forever and ever as siblings do
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i think the craziest part of the percy jackson series—(warning i’m gonna be talking about child abuse)
—is that sally married gabe. “she was using him to hide percy’s demigod scent.” she married a man who physically abused her child. like. i get it’s a very nuanced situation and that demigods literally don’t even exist but yk what does exist? moms who marry men that abuse their children… like girl. there are plenty of bum ass men who smoke weed and eat pizza and looove their ciggies and instead of abusing ur kid they would straight up ignore him and if they were a demigod their scent would STILL be hidden
#sol’s orangutan hours#idk being hungover is making me nostalgic <3 like im experiencing memories thru another pov hehe <3 <3#ok no jk that’s fucked up and also the last sentence of the post is giving v much “umm just don’t marry bad men 🥸☝️ its not that fucking ha#d#but sue me i’m just a girl i remember reading a book in the eighth grade where this girl was in percy’s shoes and she got so pissed that sh#threw a glass bottle and him and then made a run for it#and her agreement was that if she could do that as a child why couldn’t her mom fight back for her daughter#*argument…. ugh i’m literally feeling crazy rn lemme make some typos#it was a peter pan retelling and i agreed heavily w that at the time so ik my opinion of thag should have prob changed as i’ve grown up#but it hasn’t bc like… that’s your kid. your tiny kid. and your letting ur grown man put their hands on them#*youre!!! omg… i need to go to sleep#and also not saying that sally isn’t strong!! she is she literally survived that shit and protected her son#but while doing so she inadvertently contributed to his abuse#and i feel like that’s not talked about enough#hopefully i explained this well my tummy HURTS
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!! DRUMINDOR SPOILERS IN TEXT AND TAGS !!
Listening to Drumnidor as a Hadrian girlie is not easy. My god they're assassinating his entire character and taking away his life purpose right in front of us! They're reducing him to a stupid comic relief character with no depth and no real influence on the people around him (to a greater degree than they ever did before) and they're taking away all his greatest achievements and attributing them to someone else to fit the plot! His main character status has been revoked and he's now apparently merely a supporting character in someone else's story. Please, everyone, a moment of silence for my blorbo 😔🙏 Rest in peace mr. Blackwater. At least they let you pull some impressive-arse sword moves, you looked really cool... but I am so sorry they did not let you be a practising hoe in this one 🥀
#riyria#drumindor spoilers#sorry everyone i am about five and a half hours into the audiobook and i just reached a conversation between hadrian and arcadius#and i want to fucking jump out a window#why is mjs doing hadrian like this???? what's even his fucking point in the story if it's gonna be like this????#literally and what is hadrian? chopped liver etc etc!!!!!#someone who is also reading the book please talk to me or help me see how i am misinterpreting this#i just want hadrian to be taken seriously and be valued and i want him to actually achieve something that is not just helping royce on his#journey to becoming a better person but yeah i guess he can't even have that - the one thing they kind of let him have in the other books#i am literally becoming a worse person as i listen lol#And listening to Drumindor as a Hadrian/Royce shipper is even harder!#lol#I'm sorry everyone#I can't even make any jokes about this point you'll just have to read the book yourself and find out.#i want to adopt hadrian out of that story my god i swear there is someone who cares about you and values you#crossing my fingers that the remaining 14 hours of this book is different 🤪🤡#(at least gwen is nice to hadrian and i love that we get to see them bond/see more of their friendship#it's so jarring though bc she actually treats him as an adult#and not as an idiot)#like am i losing my mind???#was it always like this????#was it different because there were other characters around to interact with???#i want to cry because i am so frustrated lol#as i reread my tags i must say it could also be that i am projecting my struggles onto him LOL#because my life is really bad rn in a suspiciously similar manner ...#either i'm a hadrian fan bc he's just like me fr or oh god i'm literally just misinterpreting everything and its not that deep#but i want him to also get the opportunity to be that deep :( ok enough tags now sorry everyone so sorry everyone#fellow hadrian fans what do we think#enter the hivemind (the replies to this post or my inbox/messages) and let me know#and royce fans what do you think about royce in this book?
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my brother said he would co sign for me. ok guys should i go for the $1000/mo room with the overly talkative music teacher and two other women or the random guy who may have been flirting with me's room for $700. or should i hold off on choices until i hear back from option 3 which i think is also $1000 and more private and much better commute but would not allow any pets and idk what her application process and requirements are like when i think i've got a good chance with the other ones.
#i'm not certain about the teacher letting me in but she seemed to like me and i told her i could get a second pt job to better afford it#and explained that i just dont have credit bc i've never been in debt etc and she was fine with a co signer#she IS very chatty though and i would have to hide my weed i think. also she is christian and a little obnoxious about it#but nice. just won't stop talking you know the type like for almost two hours today i was just going yep! uh huh. oh wow :) nice! cool. etc#which is fine for a while but like. well whatever it doesnt really matter i feel better about living with her and other women than some dude#also this doesnt matter but her driving was horrific ☠️ girl this is why driving in this town sucks#old people be texting and driving and going “oh i'll have to miss the recital at the church”#she plays 13 instruments btw and while i was there she had a guy tuning her student piano#also there are individually coded number locks on all the bedrooms which i really appreciate#also one of the roommates is the gm at the local starbucks so i could probably easily get a pt barista job if i hated myself enough#/needed money enough. you know#ok i'm done#me
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I agree with this one Youtube guy's opinion on Kung-Fu Panda 4 but I feel like I am losing respect for him by the minute for unrelated reasons called "He showed his chart of movie antagonists and has Ken in the cringe tier, which does imply several things about the way he sees the Barbie movie and its themes. Also he has Adam (Hazbin) in the same tier."
On the other hand I am not sure if putting them in cringe means he thinks the characters are cringe, which like...yeah ok that'd be completely fair, or if it means that their usage as antagonists is cringe, in which case my previous statement applies like booo go home I don't want what you're cooking you don't get it you'll never get it.
Also he has a special super tier for Jack Horner which is giving him some plus points because big agree that was a real damn good narrative tool yeah.
#its like....yeah ok....but....pls....you need to consider#like in Barbies case id go to bat for the narrative significance and the usage of the characters as tools for the job assigned#in Hazbin's case id pull out a corkboard full of nothing but character design points. im not even playing the narrative card in here#theres no use for that card. well there is but it isnt effective enough for it to stand on its own legs. a corkboard#full of my ramblings about the designs is more effective i think. more unhinged as well. me rolling up to the place like#'accccctually the robe is a frat boy jacket in all aspects but physical which should not even be possible therefore this characters slays'#dont test me id go to bat for all the designs in the show ill die on that hill ill kill on that hill ill nuke all other hills#which is really funny because i actually dont have much to say in terms of the actual plot im just here like 'the colour design and the#character designs in general are a total slay that i could talk about for 5 hours straight. so is the music.'#and ill be real subjectively i dont really like a lot of the music. from a technical and narrative standpoint tho?
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in all seriousness i 90% sure im going to quit my job tomorrow and for a while i will have just enough money to live on and will have to spruce up my resume and job hunt and stress but MY GOD i need to do something else because this is making me suicidal
#like actively suicidal. wanting to die in a way i have not since highschool. literally woke up and thought 'i dont want to be here anymore'#and then couldnt make myself get out of bed until like 10 minutes before i had to leave the house for job 2#i know its unprofessional but i pretty much...quiet quit i guess. i worked from home for like a month straight without telling my boss#and she called yesterday wondering about it and the whole time the only thing i could think of was 'you didnt even know for a MONTH#thats how little people communicate around here#the office culture is toxic. the people are self absorbed and shut me out. ive gone through like 6 big life events and no one knows because#no one in that office cares enough to ask. and even if i volunteer the most i get is a 'wow that wild look at this tiktok yeah anyway'#im so burnt out. i have 1 day of rest and i dont get to do that at all. so no like im not going to get up get dressed sit in traffic park#on the street because a year later they still havent given me a clicker for the parking lot and sit in the back of a warehouse for hours#talking to no one. ive literally gone days without talking to anyone there. its so lonely.#theres only so many audiobooks and podcasts and albums you can listen to before you think 'i would be ok getting hit by a truck tomorrow'#im going to hate these next few months but i just need time#and the lord works in mysterious ways because my other boss just started talking about hiring for mon/tues which are the days i work bad jo#so i would at least get those hours until i find something else stable. im going to try very hard not to be mean about it but im like...#hey girl this place sucks ass and you know it. im not negotiating#but thanks for that raise 9 months late#im giving you three weeks for find a replacement and i dont care if you fire me in that time#il work from home or panera or starbucks or library but im not stepping in that office again unless its for my minifridge and heater
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The way grown adults in their twenties still talk about how they didn't learn about x historical event or y horrific thing the US did back when they were in highschool as if it's any excuse for their willful ignorance is like actually so pathetic. It's four years of schooling that you had a decade ago of course you didn't learn every single thing in the world, no one does in any school in any country. You're not special. It's time to grow up and make the effort to learn things for yourself, You're Not In Highschool Anymore
#txt#like it's always “I didn't learn xyz in school” and “the US education system sucks” girl you're 25.#Literally stop talking about highschool.#If you're not going to make the effort at least own up to it instead of making excuses and getting defensive#Like all of these people spend so much time complaining about what the US didn't teach them when they were a CHILD#when they could be spending that time. Googling? Reading? Asking their peers questions?#This is the information age. There is literally no excuse#when most of these people are on the computer actively using the internet for hours upon hours every day#or their phone or tablet or whatever else#making post after post on social media. But literally only getting their news from Twitter or Tumblr? Insane.#Do some reading yourself.#Idk check out library books. Your library needs the foot traffic anyway.#Ask questions on Reddit. There's plenty of people who actually are totally interested in answering your questions in good faith.#Ask questions on TUMBLR even. I know there's plenty of people HERE who are willing to answer questions in good faith.#Your peers are a great respurce to utilize for learning about Literally Anything!#Not that everyone knows everything. But it's still awesome to ask your peers questions and discuss things with them!#Like it's actually a great way to learn new things! It's kind of ONE of the big reasons things are taught in whole classes of people!#I can't stress enough! OP makes a post it is ok to ask them a question about it or ask about further reading or ask for a source!#As long as you're asking in good faith because you want to learn! It's not a bad thing to do!#If OP gets really upset and nasty about the question—that's not cool BUT you can't really blame them.#If they are a victim of whatever their post is about it's very frustrating for them and moreso that they feel they have to TEACH people#about it. So give people some grace in that regard. Not everyone will have perfect responses 24/7.#For the most part people will be able to recognise and understand the genuine desire to learn about something and help and will be at LEAST#willing to point you in a direction. Even if it's just a Subreddit or another tumblr acc or something#Like I cannot stress enough. You can do something to change your “lack of education” about subjects by Educating Yourself#and Asking. Questions. And. Talking. To. Your. Peers. About. Things.#There's a hobbyist for everything. There's one autistic guy with a special interest out there that has all the answers to your questions#There is also like. News that isn't state-sponsered. But use critical thinking and look into sources.
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im finally going to replay y0...
#it's been a little over 2 years#and ive never replayed any of the games before so im very interested in what this is gonna be like#i just played them slowly and in order + lad ishin at the end#i kinda wanted to do the judgments first but uh. they're never on sale <3#someday though#ugh im nervous though#not about this but like. ok real ones will remember that a couple of months ago i mentioned i finally asked my mom for like. mental health#assistance that wasnt her telling me to stop spiralling. the two appointments we could do were like. next week or october#i technically have enough time to get my shit together but ive also like. never talked to an actual doctor about this stuff before#and she kept asking me if i could be more specific than 'general longterm mental health issues' (and anxiety which she added)#but like. i dont wanna tell her Shit about that yknow#especially not like. just woken up at 2pm no preparation#also she added anxiety on her own. so you KNEW it was an issue and you didn't fucking do anything about it? at all??#truthfully i don't think it's nearly as big of an issue as before. i get stressed about stuff sure but it's pretty circumstantial#like these days i dont have anxiety about much of anything because im not trying to decide my entire future between 8 hour days in the#bright lights and eye contact factory#girl you don't have any idea what we're getting into by doing this#anyway if i get an ocd diagnosis that'll be the most awkward because that's the only one they actively joke about and that i've butted head#with them on. (i mean theyre also shit to npd/aspd ppl i just haven't chewed them out for it yet bc every time i do that i end up useless#for the rest of the day at least and i gotta pick my battles)#and idek what i wanna do about the Probably Autism going on man. i've been thinking about doing foster care/adoption for years now#when im older/if im ever financially stable. a diagnosis could basically nuke my options for that#but they'd NEVER believe a self diagnosis#whatever FUCK JT ITS YAKUZING TIME!!!!!!!!!#OH AND IT'S THE FIRST TIME DOING ONE ON LEGEND#which im nervous about bc i never really play stuff on anything but normal#so uh. 😬😬
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crying laughing about the drama in my life right now😂😂
#so my work friend got fired yesterday because of bullshit reasoning rught#and so tonight I’m out in public telling my best friend about it#but like there’s no one around at the moment when we’re talking about this because it’s right after a movie we went to see#and she pushes the door of the theater open and we are the last ones leaving this showing ok#and she opens the door and she’s shit talking my boss because she once worked with me a long time ago so she knows him#plus I’ve given her all the details I know about this dumb situation#and who should walk by right as we fucking open that door??#my boss’s boss…. the one who fired my work friend yesterday and who we were also lowkey shut talking#so I immediately shut the fuck up because he knows me well enough he could recognize my voice and/or my face even if I’m out of work and out#of uniform luckily he keeps walking straight and we walk in a different direction but I’m like ‘that was *insert boss’s boss’s name*’ so we#are both laughing like oh shit 😂😂 and she’s like damn hope you’re not the next one to get fired now which like cmon I don’t think they can#fire me for that even if I was saying this stuff at work#but we walk outside towards her car and we get close and realize that his truck is like 3 away from her car and I’m like hiding at this#point so he won’t see me bc he definitely went out a different exit door than us and pulled out of the parking spot right as we reached her#car but I’m like…. what are the odds of running into him here? he doesn’t even live here so I wouldn’t have thought he’d be hanging around a#and going to see a movie on a Thursday night by himself instead of driving home since he lives like 3 hours from here
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