#ok that's enough I could talk about this for hours

[mikkomacko]

I haven’t given reader any angst yet, I can’t stop thinking about that last chapter with Quinn, and there’s been so many asks about the twins so that’s my inspo here I guess.

So when the twins are about two or three months old they go through a sleep regression phase while becoming extremely colicky. Normally she could handle a bit less sleep for her girls, but they just won’t stop crying. It’s nothing wrong with them medically, at least that’s what the pediatrician keeps telling her when she calls every couple hours, but she literally cannot calm them down no matter what she tries. This goes on for a week or so, and then she breaks. Nico comes home to her sobbing in the rocking chair in the nursery while she’s trying to calm the girls, muttering something about Quinn being right. Of course Nico is livid, he was just learning to be okay with Quinn being in his boys life and now he wants to smash his head into a brick wall again, but he has three very distressed girls to take care of first. He quickly checks that the twins are okay and safe before taking into his arms and pulling her into their room to calm her and tuck her in. It takes a while, but he eventually soothes her by reminding her that Quinn only did it because he felt guilty about what he did to the boys and lashed out at her because she was what he should’ve been. After he gets her to eat and drink something and take a nap, he goes to the twins so he can try his hand at soothing them. Once they’re asleep he whispers to them “Mama needs you to be extra cute when you get up, okay?”

Nico briefly plots to kill Quinn slowly and painfully, but settles for going extra hard on him in their next sparring session. “A little broken hand won’t kill Quinn” he thinks to himself.

-🦉

Ugh this one hurt oh my god poor reader just wants to be a good mom to her babies and Quinn is literally haunting her (ironic really because he still has nightmares of her killing him)

Imagine it’s when Nico is on like a business trip or away for the night too and she’s trying so hard to be strong, to not need him because she’s their mom, she should be able to handle one night.

But everything is quickly crashing and burning and she can’t get herself to calm down enough to get the girls to calm down and she’s frantically calling him in the middle the night, guilty because it’s obviously scared the crap out of him to answer the phone to her whimpering and the girls screaming in agony in the back.

All she can keep telling him is that she just can’t do it, that Quinn was right, she can’t be a real mom no matter how hard she tries. She had trials with the boys and still wasn’t ready for this.

Nico literally has to drop everything and try and get home, keeping her on the line because he’s so scared something is going to happen or it’ll get worse if he can’t hear her, can’t talk to her.

He has to pretty much shut and lock the babies in their cribs crying while he takes reader to the room, running her a warm bath and promising that it will be ok. And she’s all sad, puffy and red eyes.

“I couldn’t even go one night without you.”

“To be fair, there’s two of them and one of you. And they got their mama’s attitude, that’s for sure.”

It’s enough to make her laugh a bit, to tease Nico back that he’s no walk in the park either and then he’s wiping at her face with a damp cloth, making sure she’s ok before going to get the babies.

He puts them in the bath with her, even when she’s like “Nico please no they’re just gonna scream again if I hold them” he makes her cradle them to her chest in the warm water.

Feeling her skin, the familiar smell of her and the soothing water gets them to calm down to just hiccups and then she’s cleaning their tear stained faces too, telling them she’s sorry for freaking out.

And Nico is just watching her, his heart about to beat right out of his chest and lowering his voice into a pitch that a baby girl would talk in when he says, “it’s ok mama. We still love you because you’re the best mama in the world. Even daddy says so.”

He gets them out of the bath, one by one drying off his girls and getting clean clothes on them. It’s almost the early hours of the morning by the time you’re crawling into the king size bed and Nico is laying the twins down in one crib together, and he’s running his fingers through they downy hair all “we gotta be better for mama tomorrow ok? She cares so much, loves you both so much that any tears will just break her heart.”

And even though it’s all fine by the time he’s holding your sleeping form, he dreams of getting back at Quinn for it.

God forbid Quinn is around Jersey at this time because he won’t be getting a word out in front of Nico before he’s swinging for his jaw.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Phoenix- Part 3

Kelly Severide x reader (nicknamed Phoenix)

You and Kelly agree to pretend to be a couple for one night to benefit the firehouse, this isn’t gonna bite you in the ass later

Warnings: These idiots flirting their asses off

You parked your car across from fifty one and grabbed everything you needed for shift before climbing out. A quick look to make sure the road was clear then you jogged across, it wasn’t as cold as the day of the plunge but it wasn’t exactly a scorcher either. When you made it into the side door of the bays you let out a breath and heard Kelly “Aww, is our little phoenix bird scared of some cold?”

You turned to glare at him where he was sitting in that damned recliner “Bite me severide” he winked at you “Climbing me last week and offering for me to bite you this week? I think if we keep on we may end up making people talk” you rolled your eyes as you headed inside, stopping to pat his shoulder as you leaned down to whisper in his ear “We both know you wish”  which made a couple of the guys whistle. 

You looked over your shoulder and he was watching you with a grin. God it was fun to push his buttons at any turn you could find. 

____________________

When you got to the locker room you noticed Gabby and Sylvie were watching you. “What’s up?” you asked and they shared a look before Sylvie grimaced “Kelly may have paid Cruz fifty bucks to break into your locker for him” “WHAT? WHY?” you opened up your locker, eyes scanning the contents and cursed when they fell on the photo of you and him from the paper, now tapped on the inside of the door “What the hell?”

You spun around and pushed the doors of the locker room open. Joe was in the common area, talking to Mouch and Otis. “JOE!” his eyes widened and he slid behind Otis “She likes you more, she won’t hurt you” Otis looked from you to him “What did he do?” “Broke into my locker for Severide!” Otis took two steps to the side with his hands up.

“BRIAN!” Cruz scolded and he grinned “I’m not in this! I would’ve told him no!” about that time the man of the hour walked in and that got your attention off of Cruz. You spun to face him “You!” he pointed to his chest “Me?” you nodded and grabbed the front of his jacket, pulling him behind you into the locker room despite the talking you could hear from the rest of the house.

_________________________

Kelly was laughing the entire way, even when you came to a stop and slapped your locker where the photo was “What is this?” he grinned “Oh, it’s us sweetheart. I thought we looked good. I put one in my locker too” you shook your head “You’re an unbearable asshole” he leaned closer “But you flirt with me at every chance” “I said you were an asshole, not ugly” you practically growled, shoving his chest to get him to back up out of your face.

“I’ve got an offer for you” he said, leaning back in. You raised an eyebrow “And what is that?” he motioned to the photo “We got more money for our charity because people loved seeing firefighters flirting, thinking we were in a healthy and loving relationship” you nodded “Ok, and?”

“We have a fundraising gala for CFD coming up, Nix we need those thermal masks. Think of the lives we could save” you found yourself chewing on the inside of your cheek at the prospects of those masks because they could indeed save so many lives but how the hell did that have anything to do with you and…”Oh hell no” 

You spun to walk out and he grabbed your arm “Come on! You’re telling me, the damn firefighter that walked out of a fire bad enough to earn the nickname Phoenix isn’t willing to act like she likes me for a night to be able to get life saving equipment for our house?” you turned to look up at him “How the hell would we even sell that Sev?” he grinned “Well, gotta say Sev is an improvement over just Severide. You get all pretty, I’ll clean up nice. We’ll be ourselves and the only thing difference is I’ll only flirt with you that night” “Fake dating, that is such a hallmark trope” you groaned.

He laughed “What? Afraid you’ll fall for me?” you rolled your eyes “Not in a million years. Are you sure this will work? Do you know who we’d have to sweet talk to get the damned masks?” he nodded “Between me, you, Matt and Gabby? They’ll be secured by the end of the night” you groaned “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m saying this but ok” he held out his hand so you put yours in his and shook it “Let me know what color dress you get so my tie can match” he teased and you rolled your eyes again “I’m going to regret this so damn much”

“This is insane!” you were shopping with Gabby and Sylvie. You’d told them Kelly’s insane idea to get the funding for the masks. “It did work for the plunge?” Sylvie offered and you spun around to glare at her “You’re supposed to be on MY side?” 

“Well, why did you agree to it?” Gabby asked, pulling a dress off of the shelf to look it over. You sighed “Because it did work for the plunge and if some rich idiots want to come out of their pockets because they think me and Sev are a couple, let them!” she nodded “And this whole fake dating thing has no chance of going south?” you shook your head “I know where we stand and I know he’s actually a manwhore. How could it go south?” 

She nodded then pulled a dress off the shelf and held it out to you “Try this one, it would look good on you” . It was a navy blue and gorgeous. You nodded “Ok” and took it then headed for the dressing room. Sylvie had a black dress and Gabby had a silver one. You would have to tell Kelly the color of it. Ugh that made you want to vomit but those masks were expensive and the house didn’t have the budget for them on its own.

Since you started at fifty one Kelly had been intrigued by you. Maybe it was because you always gave as good as you got. You never backed down from anything. You always teased him that you were the only person who could keep his ego in check.

This gala plan was just to get the masks, that’s what he told himself. Hell the fundraising goal had gotten tripled the day of the plunge because people liked you two “flirting” if they liked that? You two could put on one hell of an act and walk away with those masks.

The night of the gala he pulled up to your place and parked. He was five minutes early, a smile slipping onto his face when he realized that as he walked to the door. The moment he knocked he heard your voice “I’m coming!” the door opened and you were standing there, smiling actually. “Hey Sev” he froze on the spot. You’d told him you’d gotten a navy blue dress. You didn’t tell him that it hugged your curves in a way that would make his mouth water. Your hair was styled and good lord, this may be harder than he thought.

“Hey um Nix” you laughed “Ya forget my name?” and he shook his head “Had to make sure it was you. You looked too damn good to be my little chaos demon” he grinned when you rolled your eyes “Oh, now I’m your demon?” he winked at you “Well for tonight anyways?” you shook your head and grabbed your clutch bag then held out your arm “Well come on then, we got work to do”

When you and Kelly got to the entrance of the gala you pulled him to the side “Hey, ground rules?” he raised an eyebrow “Ok, what are they?” “Don’t kiss me on the lips, don’t touch my ass or tits” he laughed “That’s it?” you shrugged “We need those masks” and he nodded “Fair enough” and held out his arm “Let’s do this”

The two of you walked through the double doors together and you had to fight the urge to flinch when the flash of a photographer went off. Yeah more photos for him to sneak into your locker. You shook your head and looked around before you spotted Matt and Gabby. You tapped his shoulder and he followed your line of sight and pointed you both that way.

“You look amazing Phoenix!” Gabby greeted and you smiled “Same to you” the two of you hugged while Matt and Kelly looked at each other “You look good man” Kelly teased and Matt laughed “Same to you”

You shook your head “Ok, who has the deep pockets and how bad do we gotta play it up?” Gabby slipped her arm around your shoulders and started to point out donors. “The best play? Talk about saves, fires you’ve been in. Talk up Kelly’s saves and he needs to talk up yours” you looked back at Kelly “You hear her?” he nodded “Yes ma’am”

You rolled your eyes “Ok, divide and conquer? Meet when the food is being served?” Gabby nodded “Sounds good to me”

______________________

You and Kelly stood together, talking to the Fergusons. Apparently they’d seen the two of you together in the paper.Kelly slipped both arms around you and pulled you back against his chest “My little phoenix here is one of the best firefighters I’ve ever worked alongside and I would’ve said that even before I fell for her” “Phoenix?” Mrs Ferguson asked and Kelly smiled, almost proudly before explaining the origins of the nickname.

By the time he was done, you could tell they were hooked. “How much are those masks?” Mr Ferguson asked and Kelly ran down pricing. He nodded “Our enterprises will donate two to your station house” “Thank you so much sir” you told him and he smiled “Oh course sweetie”

_____________________

You were starving by the time you and Kelly sat down at the table with Gabby and Matt to eat. “Did we do it?” you asked, looking from Gabby to Kelly and they both nodded “We did it” you grinned “Good then it was worth dealing with Sev for the night”

“Night isn’t over sweetheart, and will you just call me Kelly?” he asked. You shook your head “Nope, still don’t like ya enough” he laughed “You will” right as the food was brought out and started to be distributed out.

______________________

You were silent in Kelly’s passenger seat. “I don’t think I pissed you off” he laughed. You shook your head “Nope, not this time. Just thinking how even if I wanted to date I’m gonna be off limits for a while until the photos fade from the CFD gala off the paper circuit”

He grinned broadly “Off limits?” you rolled your head to look at him “You’re known for a bad temper there Sev, if people think I’m yours? Doesn’t bode well for me having a love life” he shrugged “I could take care of any needs you have” you felt your face warm but rolled your eyes nonetheless “Go to hell Sev”

He shook his head “Not until I hear you call me Kelly at least one time” you laughed “Nope happening anytime soon” he shrugged “Then I have something to look forward to”

@elvenpirate51

@bonnyclydecat

[wizardbait]

once again thinking about my (thus far unproduced) magnum opus: a crime and punishment muppet movie

[coconut530]

GETAWAYS

[kelpermoosee]

Knocking them over and watching them scramble to get up with those big ass heads

[ricelover247]

looks up. blinks blearily. scifi series review in the tags (not real review) (not verified) (i have been awake for a very large number of hours)

[x-rds]

That post about huge red flags from exes is going around and I’m like well mine requires some background reading

[sydmarch]

it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy

[hadrianblackwaters]

!! DRUMINDOR SPOILERS IN TEXT AND TAGS !!

Listening to Drumnidor as a Hadrian girlie is not easy. My god they're assassinating his entire character and taking away his life purpose right in front of us! They're reducing him to a stupid comic relief character with no depth and no real influence on the people around him (to a greater degree than they ever did before) and they're taking away all his greatest achievements and attributing them to someone else to fit the plot! His main character status has been revoked and he's now apparently merely a supporting character in someone else's story. Please, everyone, a moment of silence for my blorbo 😔🙏 Rest in peace mr. Blackwater. At least they let you pull some impressive-arse sword moves, you looked really cool... but I am so sorry they did not let you be a practising hoe in this one 🥀

[cruesuffix]

I CRAVE YOUR YAPPING ABOUT MICK

FEED ME

i’ve been summoned!! is there anything specific you want to hear about… like i know wayyyy too much about that man. like i know parasocial relationships are evil or whatever but idc when it comes to peepaw i’ll be as parasocial as i want. like this is so dumb but i love that man carnally i need him in the most desperate and pathetic of ways…this is really weird so you can tell me if what i did was weird but last night i literally looked up his disease just to try and learn more about what he’d been going through for so long (honestly it kinda just depressed me a bit more tbh) i still think that man is a trooper. so strong and resilient…i know he isn’t as bothered when ppl call him a corpse or whatever but i really hate it when they do that. there’s so many ppl that think he’s scary looking but i can’t see that at all. he’s so beautiful i wish he knew how much people actually think he’s good looking.

(i fear i’ve already started…this is what happens when i just let go and don’t stick to a set topic lol)

[kattitude130]

i once said there was an iceberg meme of doctors i will say is my favorite depending on who i’m talking to so here it is. and the affection increases as you go down

[unnonexistence]

playing the social game at office job already exhausting, witnesses report

[light-wrath-paradise]

I agree with this one Youtube guy's opinion on Kung-Fu Panda 4 but I feel like I am losing respect for him by the minute for unrelated reasons called "He showed his chart of movie antagonists and has Ken in the cringe tier, which does imply several things about the way he sees the Barbie movie and its themes. Also he has Adam (Hazbin) in the same tier."

On the other hand I am not sure if putting them in cringe means he thinks the characters are cringe, which like...yeah ok that'd be completely fair, or if it means that their usage as antagonists is cringe, in which case my previous statement applies like booo go home I don't want what you're cooking you don't get it you'll never get it.

Also he has a special super tier for Jack Horner which is giving him some plus points because big agree that was a real damn good narrative tool yeah.

[scarletfasinera]

The way grown adults in their twenties still talk about how they didn't learn about x historical event or y horrific thing the US did back when they were in highschool as if it's any excuse for their willful ignorance is like actually so pathetic. It's four years of schooling that you had a decade ago of course you didn't learn every single thing in the world, no one does in any school in any country. You're not special. It's time to grow up and make the effort to learn things for yourself, You're Not In Highschool Anymore

[skrunksthatwunk]

im finally going to replay y0...

[kkusuka]

pt. 2

your roommate was a strange man.

can you even really call him a roommate if he's only home for one week every few months? but when he is home, simon riley is a pretty good roommate.

he fixes the heater that's been broken for two months, he replaces the faucet after it drenches you for turning it on too quick, he even takes a look at your car when you mention how your breaks have been squeaking. but other than his penchant for whiskey and the color black, you really don't know much about the man you've been living with for more than a year.

he's in the military, you know that for sure. he works with a team because he tells you that you have a striking resemblance to a man names "soap"? you take that as a compliment even if he didn't really mean it to be one. he wears combat boots even when he's off, you buy him a pair for his birthday that he doesn't take off until soles wear out. but all of these are merely observations, you don't actually know anything about him.

and it's not like you don't try to find out more things about him. you search his name on google- nothing. you ask him about his social media- 'don't got any'. you never ask about family because he never brings them up. all you have is a phone number and the license plate on his beat up dodge charger.

so, getting a call in the middle of the night, three months after you'd last seen simon, about a mission taking a bad turn and simon taking a bullet for an american private. all you really manage to catch after that was the hospital's address and a room number to ask for.

you feel like you're in a trance as you pack yourself an overnight bag, then move to simon's room and just start grabbing the softest clothes you can find and a bunch of snacks from his side of the pantry, then you're off.

you didn't want to see desperate or overly worried about a man whose favorite song you don't know but you're pushing into the high 90s on your way down. and your mind isn't clear until you're standing in front of a tired looking nurse in sanrio scrubs.

"um, i need to get into room 1206?" you barely choke the words out before she's getting up to lead you, "oh! mrs. riley, they told me you were on your way."

"oh-i'm, well" and if you hadn't watch so many hospital shows where they don't let anyone but family into the room you would have just told her the truth, but you just shut your mouth, give her a tight smile, and follow her down the hallway.

the room doesn’t take long to get to, but the door is shut and you can hear the people inside talking. but the nurse doesn't even hesitate to swing the door wide open, "mr. riley, your wife is here."

and then there are four sets of eyes trained on you, but all you can look at is the hulking figure of your roommate sat up in his comically small hospital bed. and all you can muster up is a slight smile and a small wave in his direction before the bags you're holding fly straight onto the floor.

"oh, shoot- i'm sorry. i didn't know if you needed anything so i just grabbed some things from your dresser- and some of those granola bars you like, and there should be a gatorade somewhere in there. and, oh my god, i'm sorry, how are you? i came as soon as they called, and they said you got shot, and-"

"calm down, sweetheart, or yer gonna be the one that needs a hospital bed." ok, simon could still speak that was good, and he was conscious and remembered you.

"i'm sorry. i just got worried, and-" simon knew you well enough to know that you'll worry yourself to death if he lets you keep going, "nothin' to worry about, sweetheart, pull up a chair, you've 'ad stressful few hours."

you practically fell back into the chair that the man with the kindest brown eyes you've ever seen pushed towards you. and for the first time since you arrived, you took a deep, long breath. hand clasped in your lap as you take simon in.

"feeling any better, mrs. riley?"

"she's fine, garrick." 

'garrick' seems utterly unphased by your roommate's- husband's? you can address that later- tone and just continues to smile at you.

"c'mon simon, we just wannae ken 'bout the bonnie lass yer hidin' from yer pals. ye 'aven't even introduced us." you're glad the scot waited until you'd calmed down to start speaking because it took you at least 30 seconds to realize he was even talking about you.

"sweetheart these are the boys, boys this is sweetheart, now fuck off before you scare 'er away"

they didn’t seem like they were going to leave until the older man practically dragged them out saying something about the heaping loads of paperwork they had to do. so will a little wave and a cheeky smile, they were gone.

"so, um, ho-how are you feeling? they, uh, said that you got shot?"

" 'm fine, sweetheart, better knowing i've got a bird at home who'll come runnin' cause she thinks 'm hurt, yeah wife?"

yeah, maybe you'll let the mrs. riley thing go on for a little bit longer.

idk i just really like the idea of simon just picking someone random and being like 'yeah this is it, you're mine now' and they have literally no idea