#ok thank you!! time to pick another song!! <33< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[beagleamarelo-moved]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

aaah yayy thank you, jazz!! :')) it´s been so much time i don´t do this kind of thing! thanks for thinking of me <33

ok so here i go, five songs i like to listen.. i will pick some recent faves.

oasis cover of hey hey, my my from neil young

i didn't know this version until lately, but i promise im not an oasis poser1111 i have been a fan since 2013!! this version is very cool, noel sings as if he's crying, as usual, so yeah it's nice..

2. neil young - heart of gold

i don't know what i could say, this song is so beautiful.. and i love harmonicas!!

3. idlers dream (originally from oasis, but here noel is singing in his solo band)

another crysinging noel song. beautiful.

4. new - paul mccartney

YES!!!!! THIS SONG!!!! back when this album was released i didn't care much, i was like "naaah i prefer old beatles songs!!!1" but i'm not like this anymore. its beautiful. and happyyy, very paul-ish.

5. figure of eight - paul mccartney

i sorta discovered this song only lately too?? i kinda neglected 80s paul back in the day because i was like... "70s paul is better.. wings is so much better" yeah i was silly. this song is really good!!! love those vocals

---

lol i was gonna list 5 more songs and then i realized that i was supposed to list just five heheehe it's okay i had fun with this!! :-) thanks again, jazz!! ^-^

[superfallingstars]

Snape ask Nr. 33 please!

33. Top 3 songs you think will show up in Snape's most played? (from here)

Oh ho ho you’ve read my bio and opened the can of worms that is my music taste. Thank you for everything, I owe you my life, etc.

It’s like genuinely so hard to choose only three songs so I will also use this opportunity to share my full Snape playlist. I tried to pick songs that were both lyrically relevant and that he might actually listen to/enjoy aka the same criteria I will use to answer this question!

So let’s go!

This is something I’ve wanted to post about for a while now – that is, does the Snapedom know about this song? Aka the song about being obsessed/in love with a girl named Lily? This is the ultimate Snape song, it’s so perfect that I kind of can’t believe it exists. I doubt this song actually got radio play in 1995 (considering how many songs are on this stupid album, which I say with love but it is true), but I love the idea of Snape hearing this song by chance (perhaps on the radio at Grimmauld Place?) and proceeding to have a crisis about it.

This is also a Lily song lol. Lyrically it is about a woman who dies and the narrator holds himself responsible for it (howfitting). “What can I do if she dies? / What can I do if she’s lost? / Just the thought fills my heart with pink frost.” Gah! Also, musically, I think Snape would like it – I feel like an alternative 80s goth-ish vibe fits him really well. He would totally cry to this and have an all around terrible time <3

It's so hard to pick only one more, but I’m going with Bauhaus (because I am a goth ally). Seriously though, I think these lyrics fit Snape really well, especially regarding his upbringing, in the references to the general monotony of daily life and “factorytown.” Plus, you can tell from the title, this song also expresses a desire for success. Basically it just feels right.

Ok I can’t restrain myself so I'm doing honorable mentions, sorry, but these are more specifically geared toward what I actually think he would listen to. “You Should All Be Murdered” by Another Sunny Day is a jangly little 80s/90s tune with some rather, er, hateful lyrics, and “Is It Any Wonder” by The Chameleons is a dark, dreamy song with this lovely melancholy and regretful feel. I could picture him listening to either one of these on repeat, singing along, whistling while he's walking down the Hogwarts hallways, etc

Alright I have to stop myself from writing an essay, as this post is long enough! Thanks so much for sending this ask, I’m always down to talk Snape and/or music (in relation to one another or also not, it doesn’t matter, tell me what you guys think/please talk to me, ok byeeee!!!!)

[the-marron]

got sent this one today. of course you can ignore this, but i'm sending it anyway <33 - Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Awww, thank you, that's so nice! Hmm, picking five is hard, but I will do my best! I am as usual not counting fics I've written with Ascel because writing with her is on another level altogether 🥰

Having said that, let's see:

It's Not a Safe World For Kids - BatCat, DC Comics, 12k words

A bit of a character study, a bit of me trying to wraggle different, often contradictory canons into one story about Selina making a place for herself in the Batfamily one Robin at a time. I liked writing this and I do like how some part turned out.

In Dreams You Lose Your Heartaches - Puzzleshipping, YGO, ~93k words

A rather odd mix of cinderella motifs woven into the YGO lore. I took my time with secondary characters here and I could come up with different games and riddles the characters used to test each other. In hindsight politics could have been done better, and I am sure there are some rather awkward phrases here and there, plus this is a story that broke my poor little heart once upon a time, but it made it all the more dear to me, since I did finish it after all, and some dialogues there are brilliant, if I do say so myself.

So Many Chances Unseen - Grindeldore, Fantastic Beasts, 6k words

A crack about Dumbledore being a jealous, suspicious bitch that morphed into an actual canon divergence au with a happy ending. Yeah, don't ask me how that happened, but I am very fond of this story till this day.

Deceive me kindly (while I'm still here) - Weilan, Guardian, 13k words

Steampunk au with all the sads. I wrote it while deeply in love with Asian steampunk as a concept and Weilan fit the uneasy, changing world of magic and science all too well. Plus it's inspired by one of my favourite songs, so it's double pleasant whenever I re-read it.

It's falsehood's flame, it's a crying shame - Luolin, Weilan derivatives, 13k

historical mafia!au with LNS being a part of a gang instead of the Station - it doesn't make his relationship with LF any easier. I was torn between this and we devour, like a falcon in the dive (also Luolin) but a) I cannot choose my fav Luolin ok b) this was the first one I wrote so I am sentimental about it. But it wasn't an easy choice.

Thanks again for the ask, it was indeed very nice to recall all these stories!

[achilleslyre]

2, 23, 24 for naruto and sasuke bc im predictable and for konan if u want :33

this ask game

thank u always from sending in asks for these hehe

naruto:

2. favourite canon thing about this character?

his canonical brown eyes <3 im jk lol ok uhmmm hm okay why is this so hard…. i keep wanting to just list scenes but that’s not quite what this is asking for. i think i’m gonna have to go with my favourite being his struggle with the pain and anger inside him. not kurama, but him… his anger and his pain. it’s very personal and his struggle is very relatable…. i think it’s nice to watch an mc struggle with their own hatred and grappling with the trauma they’ve endured even though he didn’t really get to admit he was traumatized or come to terms with that but whatever. alternatively does the bijū counting song count? LOL im jk im jk

23. favourite picture of this character?

this is very impossible take them all

24. what other character from another fandom of yours reminds you of this character?

denji from csm :p

sasuke:

2. favourite canon thing about this character?

gwah……………… trying to pick one thing is so tricky…. ok i think i will say his little blushies in classic…….. i know it’s such a small thing but it’s so important to me (ok and sasukes love, and sasukes revolution, and how sasuke looks just like his mother, and sasukes relationship with itachi, and sasuke pure transgender swag (it IS canon), and sasukes kindness towards others, and sasukes epic fits, and sasukes bangs, and sasukes small giggles, and sasukes hmphs and tchs’, and sasukes silence and—)

23. favourite picture of this character?

my photo gallery is but a sasuke landscape…… there are so many images i want to add………..

24. what other character from another fandom of yours reminds you of this character?

i think i will say ash lynx from bfish….. they have too many things in common :(

konan

2. favourite canon thing about this character?

600 billion paper bombs……………………………………………… is anyone fucking listening is this mic even on SIX HUNDRED. BILLION. PAPER BOMBS. not only is that the coolest thing in the world but also she reveals in that scene that thru the whole time she was in the akatsuki she was studying obito to come up with a way to take him down and preparing to……….. i love her. 600 BILLION. PAPER BOMBS.

23. favourite picture of this character?

if i had more room i would add a gif of her 600 billion paper bombs and the mini figure i have of her in a doggy pile w the rest of ame trio but since i don’t look at her froggy…………….

24. what other characters from another fandom of yours reminds you of this character?

oh this one’s really hard actually…………… u see the issue is i really haven’t read/watched that many things agjagsjhsjs uhmmm i haven’t seen enough of her to say for sure but maybe nico robin from op? don’t hold me to that tho T.T i rlly don’t know other than that!! gwah other than maybe my oc jobie lol i feel like they have very similar personalities and passions and epicness lol

[winwintea]

omg i actually should make a mando/cantopop playlist i don’t have one😭

THIS SONG?!!!!!! THIS SONG WILL FOREVER BE MY FAVORITE YOU HAVE SUCH TASTE💓💗💕🩷🎀 if your boyfriend doesn’t mind (even if he minds idc) I’m stealing you from him let’s get married i will make you live the best life pookie (you not the car) believe me😞🤞🏻🤞🏻

FAYE WONG BEST CHINESE SINGER SERIOUSLY😞‼️‼️‼️ your playlist is soo good what🫶🫶🫶 When i was younger she was like taylor swift to me like i used to play her at the loudest volume in the living room then the neighbors would complain to my parents about it and i got scolded😞😞😞

i feel like getting scolded on the little tiny bit things is just so asian yk😭😭 AND NO YOU AREN’T ASKING MANY PERSONAL QUESTIONS IT IS ALRIGHT I LOVE YAPPING‼️‼️

One time an nctzen i was friends with he moved unfortunately but we are still on contact! Anyways he told me i’m chenle but in another universe😭😭😭 like i wouldn’t say i’m RICH (?) more like idk but i grew up everyone telling me “oh you are rich!” But i never saw it maybe because my father used to tell me “appreciate the little things you have” so i didn’t notice i have much more yeah i guess that’s why

And my step-mom is chinese-japanese and my dad’s boyfriend is thai so now I’m learning japanese and thai probably with that i will end up a wayv member from the many languages i can speak💀💀

i can literally sit down and drop to you all the family lore because it is like explaining nct it is so complicated but i love talking about it it is like that one family in cdramas that will shock you with something new every episode

wow…i actually love talking

pookie pookie i must tell you, my chinese name is actually 王菲 lol... (me and my chinese teacher picked it out together) but i love her.... (not as a person though shes literally a homewrecker)

btw i broke up with my bf like??? a week ago??? so yeah there's that... it was for good reason and if u wanna hear the tea ill tell you lol but we were together for a year and stuff 😭😭😭

CHENLE IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE IS CRAZY... girl.... spare some for the poor thanks 🙏

help me you're literally becoming ten atp... nah but tell me more about the family lore im literally so invested... if you have any questions about me i can answer my family lore too... but i come from a "upper middle-class" 1st generation korean family who never taught me korean so now my knowledge is just. shit i pull from kpop.

its ok i love yapping too <33

[abbysprettygiiirl]

yes!! just read billie's interview. and omfg? girl is wild. 'm so excited for the new album like omg omg. and the interview is so good. love the way she was comfortable enough to speak about her masturbating !! and her saying she wanted her face in a vagina....? ma'am. excuse me. what. i.

also !! i listened to the songs you recommended me and wrote some notes:

steeeam is such a cute song ?? the singer's voice kind of reminds me of clairo!! <3

faustian bargain... the lyrics? they're so beautiful. and avangeline's voice is so pretty. :((

lilith's lyrics are so beautiful. i love the way avangeline writes. but this song isn't really my cup of tea? it reminds me of ldr tho !! :3

crimson tears isn't really the kind of music i listen to, but it's not bad. i really like the beat !!

and about "mutt" she's not singing in the perspective of a literal dog. it's more of like... "a sweet confession of devotion and submission" sophie meiers described it. like, loving someone like a dog – means you'll be there for them forever, love them forever. you know? she says it's a sort of "thank you for taking me in! i'll be here if you ever need me". <33 (from the genius lyrics page !!)

and about you being scared to fail or too lazy to study. i feel you !! 'm a highschool dropout and i sometimes regret it but also the school system was not for me at all... so i had to stop. :(( now it's so hard for me to find a course or internship. 'm always so scared of failing as an adult aaah. (i wanna work at a bookshop but want to get more experience first!!) but also. each time i fail, i know i always get up. like each time i got rejected for an internship, i was down for a few weeks until i picked myself back and went to another library etc. it's ok to fail !! doesn't mean you should stop pursuing what you wanna do. <33

and i'll watch arcane in the next few days !!! and watch the movie you told me about tomorrow night if i can find it. :))

i never read any of rupi's poetry as its just not my type. (i have a hard time reading poetry honestly haha) but thank you for sharing them !! (and you can try to find the English versions on secondhand websites? like vinted!!)

and yay!! 'm tulip nonnie <33 so so cute. you're so sweet omg :(( 🌷 how was your day btw!!

aww, I'm sooo happy that you listened to the music I recommended!! actually, many people say that Saint Avangeline's music is similar to Lana's music, because SA was also motivated by Lana's music, but unfortunately she also gets a lot of hate for that :(

ouuh, m' sorry, I only saw on tiktok that someone talked about it being from a dog's perspective, but according to them I was wrong, sorry again! :(

About school.. I understand you, because it's not good to study in a place where you don't feel good:( but I believe in you and I'm sure you'll find a great bookstore soon!! <33

I hope you'll like Arcane and Semmelweis, I'm so excited about your opinion!! ^^

about my books: I will probably look for them somewhere in English:)

thank you so much, 🌷nonnie!! <33

btw, I'm so sorry that I was only able to answer you now, I fell asleep😭

yesterday was very tiring because of school, but I will talk about my day today if something interesting happens!! and how was your day?

[whataphantasia]

ugh ok that poll i reblogged made me listen to UUFO again and i didnt realize it's been like a few months since i listened to it in full FKKEDN (ok this got long so it's under a cut now)

every song ive just been going "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG" DJAKDJEK IM NORMAL IM NORMAL

i know its cringe to like a camellia album this much but uufo is like. a culmination of a LOT of the things i like, and all of camellias experience leading up to that point yk.. and so much love and effort went into it from so many different people.. auuuughhh

every part of the album comes together... i LOVE albums with a theme and this one is PARANORMAL OCCURENCES and URBAN LEGENDS and shit ITS EVERYTHING I LOVE!! the different pieces of album art... ufo girl... wauuuu wauuuu cries sobs

idc if its uncritical and cringe to love every song i do what i want. i dont rly care abt if a song is structurally good as long as it makes me happy it goes hard (and all of them make me happy)

the website.. so pretty...

ok im gonna go to bed after doinf this but heres a few tracks i want to ramble abt (i wish i could do all of the tracks but i wont (FOR NOW...))

for the longest time buzzbox was my favorite song LOL. it was one of my first songs on the album and the russian bass/hardcore mix is just SO good. idk why i liked it so much honestly, its not rly what i LISTEN to yk. i have a fond memory of making my geometry teacher listen to it in 10th grade and she never let me pick a class song again. SHE LIKED EDM TOO I THOUGHT SHE'D GET IT </33

obviously ghoul is amazing. no notes. everyone loves that song.

OOPARTS IS A BONUS TRACK ON THIS ALBUM. OOPARTS. OF COURSE IT'S GOOD

speaking of the muzzle facing.. god idk. the melodic metal undertones. i LOVE a big variety in musical textures and this song just SCRATCHES my DAMN BRAIN. the part where it goes *metal guitar riff* *oingo boingo ass scratching noises* ANDJWJDJEJD IM NORMAL (at 1:37)

POLYBIUS GB IS SO GOOD. the way every section of the song builds on eachother AUGH. the final drop with the chiptune/extratone. CAMELLIA AND HIS EXTRATONEY FINAL DROPS ARE SO GOOD WAUUU WAAAA

a lot of what i feel abt polybius gb ALSO applies to final blenderman!!!! except final blenderman has WAYY more electric guitar YEAHHHH!! camellia final drops. the shift from rock guitar to chiptune melody, and an extratoneish finale,, reminds me a bit of million pp actually? haha. it miiiight be my favorite song? it outranked buzzbox a while ago but tbh this place might be slipping for like, the muzzle facing.

i actually didnt like myths you forgot as much as the other tracks when i first listened to it.. idk why? maybe bc it was a little slower? past me has no taste bc this track is so layered. and good. thanks toby fox

artcore is usually an "eh, its good" for me (i have a lot of artcore i enjoy, like fallen symphony) but #1f1e33 is different.. just felt like pointing it out (esp since this album has a longer version of it) like! i never felt BORED! every section builds! and has interesting auditory textures! lol. ig thats how u keep my attention (not that "being boring" is inherently bad ofc)

i have really fond memories of listening to microwave-proof cat in like, 10th/9th grade... sighh that song is so fun. the main melody's texture is just so bouncy. kisses it.

OKAY. DAMN. its 3. i need to go to bed. i'd love to continue rambling abt this though. maybe later.

as of right now my favorite camellia song (outside of this album) is parallel universe shifter :3c yeah, like, his most recent 7 minute song. of course its good. idk just.. it has all the things i like in it. i'd love to be able to one day make music like this song specifically. but point is, it has all of my favorite musical things.. in it. idk how to explain it. the name too. its super personal to me LOL. and the references and callbacks in the song. so tasty

ig another 8+ track edm album i like is also good evening hollowood... can you tell i love paranormal/halloween themed albums. JK LOL the songs in that album have nothing to do with that. while im talking abt t+pazolite i like ponko2 girlish too.. maybe ill dedicate a post to that if i get bored.

OK FOR REAL NOW ILL STOP. BYE

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

hi again!!

hot cross buns my beloved <33 ive only had fresh ones once because im too broke 😭 but they're soo good i hope yours turned out great!!

and you have no idea how much you pinning the asks helps me 😭 its literally the most helpful thing ever so thank you so muchhh

how long have you been a swiftie?

i would say like 13 years? i learned about her from quite a young age because of my sister and u listened to her quite a bit but like a proper proper obsessed swiftie would be 4 years? fun fact: my first taylor song was teardrops on my guitar <3 what was yours?

would you rather be able to fly or to breathe underwater?

ooh this one is hard i suck at decision making ajshhdjsd but if i were to choose id say fly? bc a) i can fly to my family at any time since im quite a bit away at uni b) i grew up watching my little pony and my favourite character was rainbow dash (SHE PLAYS ELECTRIC GUITARRRR) so do with that what you will and c) flying seems fun and i cant swim so i would probably never step in water... howeverrr if i do drown the breathing underwater would help and if me flying was w wings they would weigh me down... but lets not focus on the bad ansjrjsnsbf

what about you?

and i have a question for you: tea or coffee? and how do you drink the one you prefer?

goodbye 'til next time <33

-swiftie spring exchange anon

I used to hate hot cross buns, funnily enough XD I was lucky that the only thing I needed to get was some yeast for them, cause a while ago I got a bunch of flour etc...also I'm glad pinning helps! I reblog so much that I was like...hold up, would I wanna go scrolling back that far...no? Ok assume they don't either XD

I've literally been a swiftie for like 2 years XD I was so new to it all that when people were talking about Taylor's Version of things I had no idea what they were on about, and was confused by how some versions of some songs sounded different lol. My like...very first song was technically Story Of Us because I found it on an anime amv as a kid and was like D:

But the first one that started making me a swiftie was I think Cruel Summer. I saw a random youtube short about songs from TS that needed music videos and watched it on a whim. From there, got really into the Lover album, then tried Reputation, and then proceeded to listen through every album she had lol.

See I too cannot swim, so breathing underwater would just be me stuck alone at the bottom of the water...bit nightmarish for my liking. If I could swim then I'd love to breathe underwater. But since I cannot I am forced to pick flight as well XD Also I love My Little Pony, and Rainbow Dash is an excellent choice for favourite pony XD

Ah tea easily. Coffee ranges from "bad texture" to "bad taste" to me...! But with tea I always go for herbal tea (usually peppermint or chamomile cause I can get those cheaply). I used to put honey in it, but even if I weren't vegan now I also just got lazy about it. I only used honey for tea, and at some point was like "is it worth the money" and decided no XD What about you?

Another question (my workplace does "question of the day"s and so I have many of these random things): Would you rather be able to master any instrument you wanted to learn, or any sport you wanted to play?

[idkwhatthisisbutheresdcandstuff]

Hoo boy so many OC's

Ok you know what? Rabbit, I'll do my OC rabbit (I choose to ignore questions I dont want to answer)

My OC is based off of wonderland btw (she has nothing to do with the white rabbit btw, I know it's really confusing but just bare with me)

1. Pastel colors (mostly pink purple and blue) and white

2. I feel like there's a certain type of music playing in wonderland that she's into, as for earth music she's mostly into songs coming from musicals, her favorite being "other side" from the greatest showman (she also got into it bc her uncle Jason and her aunt Molly introduced it to her)

4. Pretty crafty, I guess?

5. She pretty much picks whatever looks nice, she doesn't try to do anything fancy but she does spend the time making sure she looks nice

6. It's always in a ponytail, she cares a little but not too much

7. You'd think Rabbits because she's a Rabbit and that's her name, but it's spiders

8. No, she doesn't have a nickname, she's suprised no one has tried to call her "bunny", she personally wouldn't mind if they did

9. Favorite food is cake, least favorite food is mushrooms, no she is not a picky eater, no dietary restrictions

10. Yes! She wears necklaces, earrings, and she wants to get piercings some day

11. The things we have in common is that we're both impulsive, mentally unstable, wierd, gay, and we both value the people around us more than anything else, our differences are that she's adopted by a lesbian couple, meanwhile I live with my bio mom and I visit my bio dad on the weekends, and she has way more energy than me, but yeah, we'd probably get along

12. Shes 16 and was born on 12/16/2532, I based her birthday off of a zodiac sign and yes, she loves celebrating birthdays

13. She can speak English and Spanish both fluently

14. No

15. She has her 2 moms, her aunt and uncle and their spouses, another aunt that lives in earth with her husband and kids, her uncle, her grandparents, and her cousin

16. She doesn't have any pets because the only thing she wants to adopt is a spider

17. Shes homeschooled so uh.... Idk she just helps around the shop ig

18. All of those things are bad

19. No, not really, unless you really fuck up

20. No, she can't drive, she doesn't need to

21. Wonderland :D

23. Chirpy, I guess? And yes, shes good at singing and loves singing well

24. She likes drawing, painting, singing, sculpting, and making scented candles

25. Great hearing, average eyesight

26. She's fast, I guess?

27. Human sport? She likes watching soccer but doesn't like playing it because it hurts her feet

28. If she cares about you, you will know, she is very open about stuff like that, but also if she hates you, count your lucky stars shes against killing people

30. Depends, sometimes she smells like food sometimes she smells like the scented candles she makes

31. She doesn't like receiving gifts as much as giving them, and she has incredibly low standards so you could she give her just wrapping papaer and she'll thank you (despite the fact that she is literally the cousin of the queen of aces and is next in line but whatever)

33. Extremely kind hearted, talented, and has a strong soul, but she's also crazy and needs to realize that she's only alive just out of damn LUCK

34. She thinks she's not good enough, and that she needs to fight harder against evil, and that everything bad that's going is her fault

Ok that's it, we're done here

i wanted to make an oc ask game 😋 things i like to ask people abt their characters:

are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song?

weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

how crafty/resourceful are they?

how do they typically dress? does their wardrobe lean more towards practicality or aesthetics?

how do they wear their hair? do they care a lot how their hair looks?

favorite animal? why?

do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?

if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?

what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

what languages do they speak? how fluently?

are they any good with numbers?

how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

do they have any pets? what do they call their pets?

how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?

their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?

are they quick to anger? what sets them off?

if applicable, can they drive? if they have their own, what color is their vehicle? is the inside neat and tidy, or a mess?

their favorite place to be?

do they sleep well at night?

how would you describe their voice? can they sing?

do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)

how good/bad is their hearing? what about their eyesight?

how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?

if applicable, do they have a favorite sport? do they play any sports or prefer to watch?

how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?

are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?

do they smell like anything notable?

do they like receiving gifts? giving gifts? what is their ideal gift?

do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?

if applicable, how would your other characters describe them? i mean specifically the people around them.

how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

do they ever return home?

[possum-tooth]

he calls the mansion not a house but a tomb, he's always choking from the stench and the fume. the wedding party all collapsed in the room, so send my resignation to the bride and the groom

(click for quality)

[shiroichiban]

not a request but i felt like writing 4town friendzone angst :33

Robaire

robaire quietly watched you as you strummed your guitar, you had asked for his help when coming up with a song and when he read over the words you sent him he couldn't help but feel jealous because it was literally a damn confession. it's not that he hated the lyrics, in fact it was the damn opposite, he loved them, but he knew they weren't meant for him. robaire could wish on a thousand stars that they were meant for him, that he was the one you felt this deeply for, but he knew he wasn't.

you were in the middle of saying something when he refocused his attention on you. not sure of what to say he just smiled and nodded, "so... who's it for?" he asked teasingly and felt his heart clench as he watched you blush before shaking your head and replying "it's a secret ro~"

of course it wasn't meant for him, why would it be in the first place?

Jesse

jesse was busy working on the clay for your joint assignment, though he couldn't help but notice out of the corner of his eye, you talking to another classmate. keeping you in his peripherals he relaxed when you finally made your way back to the table with him.

"who was that?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

"oh, just a friend!" you smiled brightly, that didn't reassure him. he couldn't help but feel bitter about the thought of you with another person, just when he had found someone who genuinely wanted to be around him, who didn't think he was nothing but a playboy and fucked around, who didn't just think that he was paying the price by having to take care of his kids with no support.

but then again, why would he admit he wanted you if you were just going to leave him in the end.

Tae Young

"and leave him the fuck alone!" tae young watched you yell at the two boys who were picking on him earlier, his arms desperately wrapped around your waist as you put your body in front of him like a shield. he was safe with you, he was always safe with you.

"ugh whatever bitch have fun with your little princess!" one of the boys spat at you as he walked away with his friend making you scoff. tae could feel you turn around and wrap your arms around him, "hey bud, don't listen to them ok?" you tried to reassure him as tae young nuzzled himself into your embrace.

"thanks (name)." he mumbled as you stroked his head reassuringly, "no worries, i'm your best friend so i'll always protect you ok?"

his heart clenched, the things the bullies did to him back there couldn't compare to the pain of what you made him feel.

Aaron T.

"aww look at you two, a prankster couple i can't wait for the wedding!" your friend jokes as they nudged you towards him but you just rolled your eyes and shoved back. "ugh we're barely 20 we aren't getting married yet right t?" you joked as you looked at him, making his heart flutter for just a bit before he quipped, "yeah at best we're only getting engaged!" he exclaimed.

"ha! well whatever have fun being gross lovebirds~" with that he watched your friend walked off as you scoffed and turned to him.

"that's so stupid though, us being together?" oh. that wasn't the reaction he was expecting. "like we all know you're busy with your career and stuff. you could do so much better than me t, i'm dead serious." t couldn't think of a response, he was supposed to make some witty comment here but nothing was coming to him. everything just hurt.

"we're the type of people that are better off just friends amirite t?" you smiled, rubbing salt into the wound you unknowingly caused, but he forced a smile and nodded.

"haha yeah... just friends."

Aaron Z.

"mm... i dunno z, what if they don't like it." you sighed as he watched you assess over your confession letter for the fifth time at this point. "wish i was better at talking so i could just say it but ugh."

"whatever you make for him is good." z mumbled seriously, he wishes he was the one you thought about so relentlessly. aaron z had to keep these feelings down though, jealousy was an ugly emotion. he didn't need you seeing his ugly side when he was already so unappealing.

if only he could've been more, more expressive so he could actually tell you these things without worrying about you misinterpreting, more funny so he could actually make you laugh instead of him awkwardly staring like a brick wall throughout your conversations, more loveable because for just this once he wanted to be the one for you.

he didn't care about being number one in his fans' hearts, it was all pointless if he wasn't yours.

[ppnuggie]

could I request bayverse ironhide and crosshairs with the song "Notion" by "The Rare Occasions" or, if you need a different song (i could understand because it's kind of hard to tell what's happening in that song), can you do "Heat Waves" by "Glass Animals"? 🌓/🌸 I also have kind of an idea of what the oneshot/headcanon can be about, so is it ok if I send it in another ask? Thank you so much!! -Rainy :)

　　　　100 followers special :: HEAT WAVES

　　『　crosshairs ,, ironhide ,, gender neutral human reader 』　

　— angst w/ comfort ,, fluff

　— omg ty for requesting <33 i appreciate it sm !! hopefully this is good ,, was kinda confused for the angst ;) though i did decide to go w/ heatwaves since it fit better :))

　— 100 follower special

　　　　Road shimmer

　　　　Wiggling the vision

　　　　Heat heat waves

　　　　I'm swimming in a mirror

life had been hitting you hard, many obstacles suddenly coming your way. it was stressful, and on top of it all, with all the bills and the overwhelming pestering of your family, your boyfriends have been busy as well. it wasnt their fault, with the decepticon signals popping up every now and then across the world. though sometimes it felt lonely, as though you were in it alone.

it was quite the feeling. empty and silent. all the paperwork that had piled up on your desk stared at you. almost as if it were taunting you. agonizing you. terrorizing you with every piece of paper per packet.

　　　　　Road shimmer

　　　　　Wiggling the vision

　　　　　Heat heat waves

　　　　　I'm swimming in a

you had been put in charge of documenting the decepticon activity, what exactly the site was and what had happened. it was boring to say the least, interrogating the soldiers was a pain. some would snarl at you when you asked, saying it wasnt your business.

you were no stranger to the rude and disrespect from the soldiers. it had quickly become routine for you to receive snarky remarks.

　　　　　Sometimes, all I think about is you

　　　　　Late nights in the middle of June

　　　　　Heat waves been faking me out

　　　　　Can't make you happier now

　　　　　Sometimes, all I think about is you

　　　　　Late nights in the middle of June

　　　　　Heat waves been faking me out

　　　　　Can't make you happier now

really, if you had the choice and time, you’d ask your boyfriends. yet they only brushed you off, saying something about training or preparing for the decepticons. they had become too busy to spare some time with you. though you wouldnt let it get to you, it did crack your spirit a little.

even when busy, they had made time for you in the beginning. had something occured? it was confusing, but you wouldnt ponder too much about it.

　　　　　Usually I put

　　　　　Something on TV

　　　　　So we never think

　　　　　About you and me

　　　　　But today I see

　　　　　Our reflections

　　　　　Clearly in Hollywood

　　　　　Laying on the screen

documents in hand, you walked towards your office at the n.e.s.t base. you had been given some more work to do, as though the paperwork you already had wasnt bad enough.

setting the pile down next to the previous one, you looked over at your phone. the screen had lit up the darkened room, a message from your parent on the screen. a sigh had left you, mood already dropping more than before. picking up the device, you opened up the message.

　　　　　You just need a better life than this

　　　　　You need something I can never give

　　　　　Fake water all across the road

　　　　　It's gone now, the night has come, but

the previous texts before had reminded you of the fight you had with your parent. it had been a few days ago since that happened. it wasnt great, only adding on to the other things that had weighed your mood down.

‘how are you doing?’ the message read. it was as if the fight never happened. as though they never cared, despite all the guilt tripping they had done to you during it. like it meant nothing to them.

　　　　　Sometimes, all I think about is you

　　　　　Late nights in the middle of June

　　　　　Heat waves been faking me out

　　　　　Can't make you happier now

a low growl slipped from your throat, anger rising and tears starting to form in the corner of your eyes. shutting the phone off, you set it aside. your heart ached and hurt, wanting for comfort of any kind. though that wouldnt happen any time soon, as the only time you received comfort was from your boyfriends.

　　　　　You can't fight it

　　　　　You can't breathe

　　　　　You say something so loving, but

　　　　　Now I've got to let you go

　　　　　You'll be better off in someone new

　　　　　I don't wanna be alone

　　　　　You know it hurts me too

there wasnt anyone else besides them, as your social life outside the military was slim to none. most of your friends consisted of those already apart of n.e.s.t.

soft sobs left your lips, all your thoughts racing and the hole in your heart growing bigger. maybe you were being selfish, or overreacting. but you couldn’t care at this moment, too busy letting out your frustration through hushed cries.

　　　　　You look so broken when you cry

　　　　　One more and then I'll say goodbye

you didnt want others outside your office to hear. that would be quite an embarrassment, having others hear your cries when you meant to keep them to yourself.

though it seemed that wouldnt work, as the door clicked open. the creak followed behind two pairs of footsteps, your heart raced as you peaked up to see who it was. the all too familiar outlines of two males stood in the room. one had closed the door, the dark room engulfing them.

　　　　　Sometimes, all I think about is you

　　　　　Late nights in the middle of June

　　　　　Heat waves been faking me out

　　　　　Can't make you happier now

　　　　　Sometimes, all I think about is you

　　　　　Late nights in the middle of June

　　　　　Heat waves been faking me out

　　　　　Can't make you happier now

hurriedly, you rubbed your tears eyes and sniffled as you tried to keep your professional look. as if you werent just crying, and tried to make it seem that maybe something had gotten in your eye.

“(y/n)?” accent think, the pale man had stepped in front of the light. baby blue eyes shined against the light from the lamp, dark hair casting in front of his vision. his eyes filled with concern, hands reaching out to cup your face.

　　　　　I just wonder what you're dreaming of

　　　　　When you sleep and smile so comfortable

　　　　　I just wish that I could give you that

　　　　　That look that's perfectly un-sad

　　　　　Sometimes, all I think about is you

　　　　　Late nights in the middle of June

　　　　　Heat waves been faking me out

　　　　　Heat waves been faking me out

“crosshairs?” the male hummed, the other coming up beside him. his skin pale, too, and hair a darker shade than crosshairs’. his eyes were a darker blue, facial features aged a bit. slight bags hug under his eyes, his brows furrowed as they casted upon you.

you looked away from them, almost guilty of how selfish you had been. you should’ve been working, not crying. there was paperwork to be done, not a whole mental breakdown.

as the thoughts starting to fill you, racing across your mind and accusing you of such acts, your heart started to hurt even more. the tears came creeping out, slowly making their way down your heated cheeks. it felt hot in the room, as though the heat was on and not the ac.

　　　　　Sometimes, all I think about is you

　　　　　Late nights in the middle of June

　　　　　Heat waves been faking me out

　　　　　Can't make you happier now

　　　　　Sometimes, all I think about is you

　　　　　Late nights in the middle of June

　　　　　Heat waves been faking me out

　　　　　Can't make you happier now

the males’ eyes widened, crosshairs making his way around the desk. his arms wrapped around your form, bringing you to a standing point.

the other male, ironhide, had joined behind you. his hands playing with your hair, crosshairs hushing you. your head laid against his head, wetting his eyeburning green clothing.

“its alright,” ironhide chimed up, deep voice gruff yet soothing to hear. “let it out,” he rubbed your back. it only added to the river of tears, cascading your hot cheeks. “‘m sorry,” you whimpered, trying to stop yourself from crying.

it only seemed to do the opposite, voice breaking into small cracks. more tears rushed out, the river soon turning into a waterfall. the two only stayed by your side, offering quiet comfort.

it felt warm, crosshairs’ embrace. soft, and gentle. you easily lost yourself in his arms, sobs settling down and breathing slowing. you fought the urge to sleep as best you could, yet your eyes still fluttered close. his cologne filled your nose, the scent making its way to your mind.

　　　　　Road shimmer

　　　　　Wiggling the vision

　　　　　Heat heat waves

　　　　　I'm swimming in a mirror

you felt better. your head hurt, but at least your chest didnt have the ache from before. it felt nice to finally let it all out. all your frustrations and stress, even if the comfort received was little.

you felt safe, soul resting and soon your mind. eyes fluttering open a few times, getting a glimpse around the room. your room, and beside you crosshairs and ironhide. their arms and bodies wrapped around yours, embraces tight yet soft.

you snuggled against them, soaking in the heat they radiated. a soft smile made its way on your lips. your eyes closed and soon the dreamworld would take over your mind.

　　　　　Road shimmer

　　　　　Wiggling the vision

　　　　　Heat heat waves

　　　　　I'm swimming in a mirror

[caixxa]

massive ask incoming: 7, 25, 33, 35, 38, 49, 56, 58, 68, and 70 for the fanfic asks >:)

(also i hope you've been doing well! <3)

Hi! Thank you for the massive ask, and I hope you've been doing well too!

I started answering this and believe me, got to question 58 when my Tumblr decided it would have none of it and crashed.

I'll start over but I'll start slowly and edit only after I see that something sticks.

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

This is a very no plot vibes only thing with coach/player daddy kink, dldr ;) It does have a working title thought, Windsor Knot.

André is on Jared's bed when he gets in the room. He's lounging over the bedspread like a pin-up boy, one knee bent up, the other to the side, crotch strategically towards the entrance as if to be on display for whoever comes through the door.

He looks at Jared from under his brows, his usual luminous smile on his lips.

"You made us champions, daddy," he says. "Gabe got the cup for the night but I got you and you got me."

Jared shakes his head, pulling out his tie. 

"What will I do with you?"

André bites his lip, slowly stretching the elastic waist of his underwear.

"Fuck me?"

"Well, since you've found your way to daddy's bed already, I might as well."

André grins and shimmes his briefs off, kicking his legs wildly to fling them on the floor.

--

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Brainstorming/outlining, everything is still possible.

33. Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

Not really, whatever comes naturally. I have often been the most pleased with the writing process when I keep on the shorter side, though: 1K for a simple one-idea, one-scene thing, 2K for a little more setting the scene, 3 to 5 K for some actual build-up and story arc. That’s about the length that I see as comfortable reading in one sitting, be it a chapter or a one-shot.

38. What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

Most of my stories are self-indulgent, even the ones written for a fic exchange. But if I were to pick one, I’d say Still of the Night. I wanted more Aho/Williams so I wrote it, I didn’t ask anyone’s permission to write adultery and family members and other messy stuff. And oops, I hinted at another ship in it and the triangle snowballed into a whole 6-part series, King and Prince of Carolina (Parts 1 and 2: Sebastian Aho and Justin "Daddy" Williams, Carolina Hurricanes. Canon setting daddy kink porn with plot and feelings. Part 3 and onward: same but add coach Roddy in the mix for spice and drama.)

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

Kesäranta. (wjc 16 team Finland, sepe/hine) As a 1500-word slice-of-life thing it’s a short easy read that shows my writing style and introduces some of my favorite characters.

If something longer is OK, one of my newest works  Summer Kisses (Pekka, Juuse, Sepe) is also very much Me As A writer. 1: it blew out during writing, I planned it to be 3 chapters and it’s 5. 2: There are open and undefined relationships and a lot of sex, 3. it’s set in Finland and nature description is present and 4. there are slightly kinky elements.

56. Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

I have the chance, the edit button is right there on Ao3. I have revised one of my fics, Jussi at Jussi’s, I added a couple of scenes to make the plot more dynamic. 

I have thought about doing something to my newest fic  Dog Days of Summer but I don’t think I will. I might want to see if it would work better in one piece than in 5 chapters, and maybe try some more foreshadowing to highlight the endgame ship better but I just feel that I don’t love the story enough to spend much more time with it. I’m not sure if the current title works the best either, but I also think that I might ditch the Taylor Swift song lyrics so changing it to  cruel summer wouldn’t make much sense either. Ugh. It’s not a bad fic at all but it bothers me a little, it got such a mixed reception that... idk. Maybe it would have needed some primer type content in the author’s notes to convince more readers to care about the different ships it presents? Maybe it’s because there are too many different ships that the kind of representation of casual hookups and polyamory throws people off? FUCK I JUST NEED TO LET IT GO.

35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

These are so old it’s embarrassing but it’s either  Jussi at Jussi’s (in the brightness of my night) / Jussi Jussilla (sepe/teuvo friends to lovers) or  camera ready (porn AU, sepe/multi). Both were an enjoyable adventure as a writing process and I love getting back to reread some specific scenes or chapters.

58. Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

Yes, descriptions of Veli-Matti Savinainen in my two fics that I wrote originally in Finnish (and I like the original wording even better.) He’s a very rare character, there are only 5 works in his tag, all mine, and it’s actually only 2 stories in two languages; one work is just short dialogue cuts of one of them.

There are days when Veli-Matti is sure that these youngsters are a lot closer to being a total package when it comes to hockey. Their generation has been programmed and built to be pro athletes ever since they got out of their diapers: trained, coached, fed and maintained right to the detail, like delicate machines. They have been given every chance to grow into their profession on a direct paved path.

He, on the other hand, has got to the same point through winding detours and side steps, pushed around by the forces of trial and error, like a steel ball in a pinball machine.

Well, no matter what, steel is steel.

( Midnight in Paris)

--

Veli-Matin käsivarret ovat kireät ja kovat, kädet painavat hänen lapaluittensa väliin kahtena tiukkana nyrkkinä. Halaus on luja, samalla tavalla jämerä kuin se tapa jolla Vellu painoi hänet hissin seinää vasten. Se tuntuu niin luvattoman hyvältä, kuin olisi täysikasvuisen urospantterin sylissä, uhkalta ja turvalta.

(Tappiolla tappiin)

68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

It's a love story, baby just say yes. by SweetestLamb1711 (football rpf, ronaldo/bale) got me into writing fanfic. It was (is!) very smutty which probably gave me the idea that sex scenes are Very Welcome, and that switching between POV’s is okay. After that, probably a ton more, every fic has taught me something.

70. Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

Yes, 9 writers plus some works and series. I should probably edit the list.

--

I did it! I made it to the end! Hooray Tumblr! Yay me!

Thank you for letting me ramble so much about my writing!

[tendouluvr]

hq!! dads and their kids singing a cartoon’s theme song

- characters: bokuto, hinata

- warnings: none but in hinata’s it talks abt doctors and medical procedures but it’s all fake and just toys (doc mcstuffins)

- wc: 1k, 839

a/n: thought of this in the shower,,, lots to think abt

BOKUTO : sofia the first

#! noooo he has twins u cannot tell me otherwise

#! little twin girls,, they both have his pepper colored hair

#! one has shorter hair, she likes to keep it shoulder length

#! the other one is “growing her hair out so daddy can practice doing hair”

#! not her words, it’s bokuto’s words

#! you were out doing some quick errands, leaving all three kids at home alone

#! bokuto just finished showering the girls and they both ran out of the restroom with little towels wrapped around them before he could grab their clothes

#! a chase ensues and very loud high pitched giggles could be heard from both of them as they run around while keeping their tiny hand on their towel so it doesn’t fall off

#! “i’m gonna get cha~!!!” bokuto sings as he walks around the house, following their giggles that just keeps getting louder

#! they think they’re being quiet, but sadly bokuto’s their daddy :((

#! bokuto tries not to laugh when he hears them shushing at each other to be quiet even though they were both making noises

#! “hmm where could they be..?” he feigns ignorance while walking back and forth in front of the curtains they hid behind

#! his daughters behind the curtains: 😦

#! “found ya!” he yanks the curtains to the side and they both screamed as he wraps his arms around them to keep them in place

#! another fit of giggles comes from the twins while bokuto chuckles, chest rumbling against them making them laugh even more because it tickles

#! “can we weh pwincess, daddy?” the one with shorter hair mumbled against his arm

#! the other quickly agrees with her sister and excitedly hits bokuto’s other arm while beaming up at him, “bwaid!!!!”

#! he pretends to think about it until they both were clinging onto his arm to shake him before he laughs and opens his arms to let them go get their dresses

#! he follows behind them into their room to see them standing in their closet looking for their dresses

#! after they found it and he helped them put it on, they each grabbed a hand and hurriedly pulls him out to the living room

#! the one with shorter hair lets go to look for the tv remote and the one with longer hair pulls him towards the couch

#! she makes him sit down and she stands in between his legs, both of her tiny hands resting on each of his knees, with her hair facing him

#! “you want braid, angel?” he asks while tucking her hair behind her ears

#! she doesn’t turn around but gives him quick nods so he gets to work

#! now, bokuto’s been practicing his braiding skills. he started out terribly, there were knots, loose strands of hair, and tying it off was so hard :((( why does it keep getting looser as he’s trying to tie it </33

#! but now he’s still not that good, BUT the braids are more composed and he can tie them without ruining the final look :))

#! good job bo

#! he feels the remote hit his arm and looks up to see his daughter staring at him, which makes him laugh

#! “what funny?” she pouts making him laugh harder

#! she huffs when he doesn’t say anything and holds out the remote to him

#! “sofia the firsht, daddy,” giving him a toothy grin

#! “what’s the magic word!!!,” he grabs the remote from her but does not turn the tv on

#! her eyebrows furrow as she stares at him with one side of her hip leaning against the couch, “..pwease?”

#! he gives her a big kiss on her forehead while mumbling a, “good job, princess.” and turns the tv on

#! he goes onto youtube and searches for the ‘sofia the first’ theme song

#! right when the song starts, he was immediately pulled off of the couch by his twin daughters taking him by surprise

#! bokuto stumbles onto his feet, trying to find his balance before his hands were grabbed again and the girls started jumping around

#! his loud laugh could be heard from outside and little giggles could be heard following it as they all bounced around in a circle

#! the twins took turns singing parts of the short song and bokuto joins in when he hears them stuttering over their words

#! “daddy!! can we get pet cwackle?” he heard his daughters asking below him

#! “pet dragon?! of course we can!” he cheers while bending down to pick them up, both girls on each arms

#! “what’s that about a pet dragon?” your voice comes from the doorway and their heads quickly turned to look at you

#! the twins squirm around in his arms to get off so they could run to you

#! bokuto lets them down and you suddenly get ambushed by two mini bokutos while the big one is right on their tails

#! bokuto’s big body drapes itself over you, practically encasing all three of you into his arms

#! his face is in your neck and you feel the girls’ faces smushed against your thighs

#! “daddy said we get ‘wagon!!” one of them excitedly tells you with her hands moving around to show how big the dragon was going to be

#! “a wagon?” you pretend to not understand making her pout with furrowed brows

#! “no! pet ‘wagon!!!! daddy said pet ‘wagon.”

#! “it’s pet dwagon, not ‘wagon,” the other one subtly rolls her eyes at her sister, making both you and bokuto raise an eyebrow at her action

#! “where’d she learn that?” you mumbled so only he could hear and you felt him shrug against your body

#! “dunno, probably uncle omi,” he chuckles into your ear, sending shivers down your spine

#! you push him off for making you feel ticklish, but he caught the smile on your face before looking down at the girls

#! one of them looks up at him and he picks her up to walk to the couch while the other was talking your ears off about a pet dragon, but somewhere along the way her words got jumbled and she lost you lmao

#! you picked her up to walk to the couch, settling against bokuto’s side with her laying on you

#! bokuto turns on a playlist full of ‘sofia the first’ episodes and you guys let the twins watch while laying on their parents as you both softly talk to each other about your day and tonight’s dinner

HINATA : doc mcstuffins

#! hinata’s little boy likes to help people so ‘doc mcstuffins’ easily became one of his top shows

#! his tiny, slightly tilted mop of orange hair could be seen in front of the tv majority of the time during his play time

#! for christmas, he was gifted a doc mcstuffins play set with the tiny white coat and everything

#! whenever hinata had a day off, he would spend his day playing with his kid by pretending to be a patient

#! you guys have considered the possibility of your child growing up to be a doctor seeing that he loves to help people feel better

#! OMG and if hinata happens to get one of his sudden fevers that prevents him from playing, his son would try to fix him up but because hinata’s actually sick he can’t keep going near him 😭😭

#! so his son is just persistent on helping and hinata is just laying in bed hiding under the blanket, which is super hot and making him sweat like balls

#! “dada, why no play?” his head is tilted to the side with a curious look and his hands are up like his shoulders are shrugging, a tiny pout on his lips at his dad who was hiding from him under the blanket

#! “it’s because i’m sick, bubby.” he hears his dad muffled grumbling

#! “but ‘m doctor!!!!! i can giveyu check up!” his chubby little hands raise up in excitement

#! “nooo, i’m sick for real. if you keep touching me you might get sick too. i love you, but please go play with your stuffies instead, baby.” by this point, he lifted the blanket off of himself to talk directly to his son whose hand was holding onto the fake stethoscope around his neck

#! “ok, daddy. i go, but wait here!” he quickly runs off before hinata could say something and a few seconds later, the kid’s fast like his dad, he’s already running back into the room holding a stuffie

#! “here you go! she better doctor so she can make you good fast, daddy,” a shy smile on his face as he hands hinata his small doc mcstuffins plushie

#! hinata lets out a laugh at his antics before taking the doll and hugging it to his chest

#! “thank you, bub. go play now, i love you.”

#! “lub you too!!!!” he squeals as he runs out of the room

#! ANYWAY back to the actual scenario, so it was hinata’s day off and he was currently laying on the couch with a fake blood pumping cuff around his arm that was dangling off of the couch

#! small mumbling could be heard from his son who was quietly talking to himself as he looks around in his doctor chest

#! “am i doing good, doc?” hinata asks him to keep the scenario going

#! his head quickly moves up to look at hinata with wide eyes, “you scared me!” he giggles making hinata giggle along with him

#! “i need to see doctor b’cuz i forgot what to do.. can you turn it on?” he hands hinata the remote

#! without replying, he turns on ‘doc mcstuffins’ and as soon as the theme song plays his son jumps up and his eyes were glued onto the screen

#! “hey, scoot back a lil before you go blind!” hinata slightly raises his voice to get his attention

#! once he’s concentrated on something, he tunes out everything around him

#! hinata knew his son heard him when he saw his bum make the tiniest movements to scoot itself back, he thought it was still kind of close but shrugged it off

#! the mini hinata was bobbing his head side to side, eyes sparkling, and mouth moving along with the words

#! halfway through the song, he hurriedly gets up from the floor to make his way over to his dad who had his eyes closed

#! when hinata heard his small voice singing along to the song, he opens an eye to look up at his son

#! a big smile made its way onto his face and as his son is pretending to pump his daddy’s blood pressure and checking his heartbeat, he also started to whisper along with the song

#! the voice caught his son’s attention and he looks up at his dad before taking his tiny hands to smoosh hinata’s cheeks together

#! they both giggled and the boy crawled up onto the couch to straddle hinata’s waist

#! “dada, you look funny,” he giggles even more then begin poking hinata’s cheeks with a finger

#! “hmm, is that a good thing?” hinata tries to speak but it sounded muffled from his squished cheeks

#! “no!” he gives him a toothy grin as he giggles even louder, finding the situation funny and thinking he was the funniest comedian out there

#! hinata rolls his eyes before grabbing his son by the waist and rolling him over so he was laying on his side

#! hugging him from behind, hinata gives him a gentle peck on the side of his head before turning up the volume on the tv

[everafterkeiji]

Song: drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo

Summary: How the flashing lights in the street bring you to the moment that was once yours and Oikawas.

Parings: Tooru Oikawa x fem! reader

Word count: 7.3k

Genre: angst

A/N: fuck it honestly, self control we don't know her boo, pls be careful with the flashbacks and little details, enjoy pt. 1 <33

next

"Can't you give me just one more kiss?" Oikawa begs, leaning his arm behind your seat as you see his irresistible pout resting on his lips. You chuckle before leaning close to him and him copying your actions.

Lips lingering with each other, as he removes his arm behind you to ghost upon your cheek. It was so intoxicating, a distance too great that was covered in tension. He glides his finger through your lips before resting it on your chin.

"Run away with me."

He states, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead to yours with a shaky sigh, his hand now running through the hair from the back of your neck. You smile at his words, caressing his arm, shutting your eyes like he did, embracing his warmth in his car.

"And we'd go everywhere?"

"Everywhere, any time, you name it babe." He whispers with desperation in his tone. This close. Why can't he hold you like this forever? A tear nearly escapes his eye as he cherishes your touch. Why did he have to lose contact with his true self?

He opens his eyes to see yours closed and in full serenity. He bites his lip before allowing the tears to cast down his cheeks. He tried not to sniffle so you'd let this moment last without any trace of pain.

"In that case, I'm not driving."

You joked, making him let out a soft laugh as he wipes his tears before you can see. Instead, he leans in finally breaking the distance between you two. You kissed back, not knowing his cheeks were tear stained as he lets his lips tell his apology. This wasn't him, this wasn't a kiss that could last more than once.

He hesitantly pulls away as you caress his cheeks as he leans into your touch, melting in the skin he's adored every inch of. He takes in the way you stared at him, the lights of the passing cars glowing on your face as his hands shakes at the sight of you.

He wished the silence wouldn't give out how painful it was to watch you like this, so with a disguise, he smiles.

"You'll be able to in the future." He says, earning him an ache to surround his heart. You intertwine your hands with his, your thumb assuring him since you've noticed a change in his aura.

"Maybe, but it's still you and me right?"

His eyes wander around his car, reminiscing on each memory that you've made in just a vehicle. Every moment where you'd leave the window open, freedom in your clutch. Every time your voices were close to being gone from furiously shouting the lyrics. All the times you'd rather sleep in his car and run from your problems. Even the random placements of clothes from the two of you, to scattered photographs and snack wrappers.

Just one more, Tooru.

"You and me, love. That's all it takes. "

You let your head rest on his shoulder as he turns on the engine, surprising you with your hands still intertwined with his.

"What'd you say babe? One last drive?"

You nod happily as he chuckles looking at you before driving, his facade weakening with every mile.

One more.

-

"Pick up, Tooru!" You shout, aggressively clicking the button on your phone as each call was heard with his voice mail. You threw the phone to the floor as you let out a scream, your throat begging you to stop torturing yourself.

"Pick up!" You scream once again before lying down on the bed, not giving a care that your sobs echoed outside his apartment. Your cheeks were warm, with heavy eyes and mascara staining the pillow cases. Tears nonstop with the crumpled paper in your hand. Shaking uncontrollably as you denied what he's done.

Running to your door, the breeze greeting your legs since you wore his hoodie to sleep and little shorts to cover the weather. Frantically turning left and right to reach the entrance of the building.

You let your hand cover your mouth as you see his car nowhere in your sight. You gripped on the handle of the door to steady yourself from falling, with your sob catching the attention of strangers.

"Y/N! Fuck- I'm here- hey I'm here."

Clouded with water, you barely recognize the person who was hugging you tightly. Falling to the rough surface of the ground, he joined you in your downfall and it seemed that nothing made sense anymore. The noise of the world drifted far from you as the only sound that replayed was his words, and you despised it.

How come it was only you?

"Y/N- I got you, it's okay now." Iwaizumi whispers but you shook your head punching his back as you fell into a state you didn't know Oikawa could put you in, solitude.

Iwaizumi hated hearing you cuss at the universe. It still scares him the way the color was drained out of your body when he saw you got out of the apartment looking like an absolute tragedy. Your punches felt numb to him but he couldn't ignore how painful it was to hear you scream Oikawa names, and for him to desperately come back.

"W-why-" You couldn't form the words properly since you were having trouble breathing. Iwaizumi carried you in his arms since he noticed your knee had been scraped, as he tried his hardest not to fall in rage for his best friend.

"I'll be here. C'mon, let's calm you down yeah?" He assures you making you nod, left with no energy but what remained was your heart torn by the person you loved the most.

-

You woke up to Iwaizumis voice making you shift in the sheets, mistaking him for your Tooru. When you opened your eyes, you didn't see your favorite pair of brown eyes instead you were face to face with the same hue but a different person.

"Y/N- hey I got somewhere to go to today but I made breakfast, is that okay?" He asks softly, a comforting hand to your shoulder. You nod as he smiles standing up to open the curtains now that you were wide awake.

"Thank you, Hajime." You bid him as he sits down on the bed, beside you. You turn to where he is and stare at him, overwhelmed with how he chose to stay.

"I'll be gone for half the day." He states as you sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes.

"I've never seen a birds nest this up close before." He jokes making you glare at him before punching his shoulder as he laughs.

"Says the fucking spikey ass hair." You threw back as he laughs, delighted that your past self was resurfacing every now and then.

"What about you? Don't you have any plans today?" He asks as you check your phone. You sigh as you saw the reminder on your phone as he takes a peak and his heart drops at it.

"It's nothing."

"You have to go. "

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"Okay now put your foot here babe." You obeyed Oikawas words as he pecks your cheek. Before you could insert the key in, he stops you. Questioning him, he turns to you with a smug smirk before leaning close to your lips.

You expected him to kiss you the way that he does but instead he pulls away before strapping you in, putting your safety first before kissing you. He laughs at how you were clearly upset that he lead you on. He strapped himself in as well.

"You'll get that kiss if we make it out here alive." He jokes as you gasp in betrayal, making him stick out his tongue, still taunting you.

"I'm kidding baby! But you will get that kiss when we reach that pole over there." You glanced to where he was pointing as you sighed in relief at how easy it was. Turning on the engine, he smiles at how eager you were to succeed.

"Then I'll get us there."

"Y/N-" he bites his lips before he could throw you something he'd regret. You look to him, wondering why he became silent. Clicking in your mind that he's being careful with his words since Oikawa left, you leaned your head on his arm.

"I know, Iwa. I'm sorry." You apologized so suddenly, surprising him that you'd catch up on his behavior. He shakes his head before wrapping his arm around yours, just like he always would.

"I know how much this means to you. Hate me for saying this, but he'd be proud to see you get it." He says, making you smile at how honest he was. If he were here, he'd immediately bring you to your favorite restaurant and go all out just because you aced it. To others, it'd look like another step into growing up, learning how to drive and how to maintain the quality of the car.

It wouldn't be this important if his words didn't paint you perfect memories.

"You know what makes me so excited?" Oikawa asks as you continued to run your fingers through his brown locks. His head was laid on your lap as he draws constellations in the air, smiling to himself.

"What is it babe?"

"I'll get my drivers license." You whispered as Iwaizumi pats your hair, happy that you managed to push yourself through that cloud of sorrow.

"Okay that is extremely random, Tooru." You chuckled but he shakes his head before sitting up to meet with you. Slowly, he pulls you into his lap as you wrap your arms around his neck as his hand loosely finds its home to your waist.

"We don't have to wait anymore, think about it." He asks making you focus on what he's hinting to. Once he realizes you couldn't figure it out, he chuckles before pulling you to him gently. Your heart beating too quickly for you to even realize that it felt normal for you to be this dangerously close to him.

"We can come home to each other."

At first you questioned why he was so worked up in teaching you how to drive and finally getting your drivers license, but now it was too clear for you and you hated it.

"Call me when you get it ok? Maybe by dinner we can celebrate?" Iwaizumi suggests as you nod, genuinely smiling that he was there to celebrate with you. You immediately wrap your arms around him as he does the same, closing his eyes, proud of you.

"You got this." He whispers as you embraced him longer, desperately wanting to cry at how thankful you were for him. Iwaizumi feels a flush to his cheeks as he pulls away, fearful of the pace of his heart.

"Well don't get my shirt wet with your tears again- I need to look presentable!" He jokes make you wipes your eyes as he smiles when he hears your laugh.

-

Hajime: I'm sorry I can't make it tonight, Y/N. I'll promise I'll make it up to you by morning.

That was the message that was sent to you hours ago yet here at 11pm, you were staring at the movie in the ceiling. Oikawa insisted buying a projector for the two of you to enjoy movies in the comfort of your own space. So using it now felt nostalgic remembering how much he loved this movie.

Sighing, you sat up as you lift the drink to your lips, relieved at the sensation of alcohol entering your mouth. It's been a while since you've got a hold of it. Iwaizumi being protective of the amount you could consume while he was gone so he kept the alcohol cabinet away from you. He promised that he'd allow you to drink once a month because he was indeed worried for your health if you allowed yourself to drink everyday.

On this day, you chose to ask him if it'd be okay to drink. Understanding the pain that you were in, he agreed. Before he went away, he got the key and unlocked the cabinet handing you your favorite drink. You thanked him as usual, now being satisfied with being alone with a bottle of liquor that could temporarily drown the pain.

Hearing a smack from where the projector was set up, the bright lights of the ending movie flashed through your eyes so you shield yourself from it. You immediately turn your back to the projector that was now facing you since it's lost it balance from your previous angle.

The credits rolled in as you reached for your laptop to stop the screening but then another video plays, making you read the date of the video.

"Hello! Unfortunately I'm still here in the car but I'm making this video as proof if I died, it's because of my girlfriend right here who can't drive properly."

It's him.

Turning your attention to the video playing in front of you. You scoot to the left so your silhouette doesn't create a barrier while you watched.

You had a hand to your mouth, lost at words for this unexpected video to play. His voice immediately brought you to tears as you gripped the pillow beside you as your laughter in the video echoed in the background.

"For the record- I'm learning so get this camera away from me, Tooru!" You defended yourself as Oikawa looks at the camera before rolling his eyes.

"On this episode, I'm teaching her how to park! So wish me good luck- maybe prepare a casket for my car." You immediately slap his shoulder as he lets a loud laugh. He sets the camera in a better landscape angle.

You smiled at his teases. It struck you how much you missed his little remarks that would always make your day. Wiping the tears from your eyes, you watched the way he looks at you as you tried to figure out which direction to turn to. His stare was one of the things many people wished they could experience.

A look as if you were the reason they believed in love and how endless it was.

Surprisingly, in your last drive, he still looked at you the same way.

Your chest tightens as you fell for his illusion. It felt like it'd be an eternity for you to move on from how he looked that night. You should've asked him why a tear landed on your clothes, why was his fingers cold and trembling? You thought that his kiss felt like the one you'd receive when you finally hear the priest bid you two as husband and wife but it was a kiss that held farewell in secret.

"Would you look at that! I'm alive and barely a scratch on my car so far- good job baby!" He cheers engulfing you in his arms. You swarmed him in sweet and tiny kisses as he giggles at each one before placing a delicate to your lips, closing his eyes as you pull him closer placing your hand on his cheek.

You wondered if there was something that could hold you back from how much you allowed yourself to endure the pain this long. Moving closer to the wall, your chest heavily coming up and down, difficulty in finding a way to breathe properly.

Kneeling to reach him, you let your hand touch the wall as your hand lands in Oikawas face as he laughs at something you said in the video. You felt how you closed your eyes and reminiscing on what it felt like to hold him in your hands again. His soft lips, his skin that warms you up during your cuddles, his hair that would be snuggled in your neck when he embraced you.

"I love you, Y/N."

He says, leading you to sob as you turned away from the wall, the light of the projector passing through you as you dropped to the bed with knees to your chest, the walls of the room was familiarized with your cries again.

You felt every part of you crumble as you continued to scream, having another miserable night. You'd rise from your knee from time to time to gasp for air from the unstable breathing.

You felt like a stranger to him.

That alone was enough for you to be swallowed by darkness once again.

-

How careless was he to assume you'd give him a call?

You're probably out with Iwaizumi celebrating and driving freely with him. Oikawa sighs as he removes the reminder from his phone as he takes another punch to the steering wheel as he feels the irony hit him that he's jealous of his best friend.

For someone who has been with you since you went to Aoba Johsai, Iwaizumi would've been perfect for you, Oikawa thinks. To keep you grounded, to take his position in making you the happiest.

He's everything Oikawa is but the difference is that Iwaizumi was the one who could give you more, and importantly, he stayed.

And nothing scared the setter more than to lose you to a person that can truly love you more than he ever could.

Though it feels like he's defeated already.

"Sir! Good morning, this is Oikawa from room 104?" He greets through the phone as the man smiles fondly at the sweet boy who he's seen chasing around in the hallway with his girlfriend.

"Ah! Mr. Oikawa! I barely see you nowadays what happened?" Oikawa sighs, running a hand through his hair, debating on what answer to give to the landlord.

"I've been okay sir, I just called to ask about the payment due-"

"No worries Oikawa-kun, the man took care of it for this month!"

Man?

"E-excuse me sir?"

His heart was beating too loudly at the sudden information. What man? He feels sweat rushing to him, heavily anxious of what happened to you and his apartment.

"Hajime was it? Ah anyway he's covered it this time!"

Iwaizumi?

It felt as if he was struck down by force as he drops to his couch with his mouth agape and eyes widened with his heart raging too fast for his liking. He let out a gasp, putting each piece into its place as he feels a swift of the threatening atmosphere surround him, along with anger.

"H-he's my friend sir- does he stop by often?" He asks, biting his fingers in anxiousness. With his other hand, he reaches for a pillow, gripping it tightly like he'd want it to collapse in his hand.

"Often? He lives there silly. I was honestly surprised you'd let him but I guess young love isn't for everyone, son."

He didn't even notice that he's thrown the pillow all the way across the room as he stands up, his phone held tightly in his hands, wanting nothing more than to be slammed to the floor but with sourness in his tone, regret in his heart then he replies.

"You're right."

After that day, even if it's been months since he was informed, he chose to feel numb but there was a tug on his heart at the thought of Iwaizumi taking care of you. You deserved every ounce of effort that the ace gives you. Oikawa is more than thankful that Iwaizumi was there to wipe your tears and embrace you since he was the one to cause you this overwhelming amount of pain.

But he didn't expect this.

"Iwa-chan, how are you?" He asks with envy hidden from his true intentions of calling him. Iwaizumi stretches, tired from the workout as he answers the boy.

"I'm tired. What about you?" Oikawa lets out a mocking laugh as he leans on the couch, hands behind his head but both hands were formed into fists as he converses with him.

"I'm sure Y/N is there to patch you up huh?" He exclaims making Iwaizumi sit up, nervous at the outburst but then he looks at the apartment, seeing your sleeping state on the couch, and he sighs. Oikawa was bound to know sooner or later.

"I'm sorry Oikawa but-"

"Hajime that's my apartment!"

"And she was your girl wasn't she? But where are you right now!"

He was at lost for words, like the life of him was knocked out of him, deeply taking in Iwaizumis words. It was unhealthy with how much he was shaking and how he felt so cold and empty. On the other end, Hajime bites his lip, suddenly regretting his words but he can't turn back knowing it struck a nerve to Oikawa.

"Oikawa, listen to me." Iwaizumi starts as the setter was left to no other option then to obey since he couldn't think of anything else to respond to him.

"I know you love her but you're never going to be there for her. You asked me to go to her when you left and it's been a year. I know it's a dick move to move in with her but I don't trust her when she's alone. If you ask her, it feels like it's been forever so I'm just- being there for her cause she needs me."

He hated how right he was. If he would be honest, leaving you alone would be the least appropriate thing to do. All he can hear was your screams and imagining the way you look made his heart throb with too many emotions.

What made him lose was the fact that he can come back with hundreds of medals, but he'll never have you.

And Iwaizumi was more than ready to win.

-

He was surprised to see you awake at 12am but seeing how distraught you were, he couldn't help but want to end the day with you smiling or at least a reaction where he'd feel his heart flutter at the sight of it so he sighs before asking.

"Wanna go for a drive?"

The question that left you with so much trauma, sounded so soft when Hajime said it bringing a new feeling to it. It didn't sound like an unfulfilled promise and you nod to him knowing he could never hurt you the way Oikawa did.

Maybe it was best for you to escape the apartment.

Spending time with Iwaizumi as you drove around made you realize that there was a world where you can enjoy life without wondering about him.

Or maybe because it was suffocating.

Being in your apartment and Iwaizumi moving in with you was something your heart can never handle. To this day, you couldn't put into words how you despised that Iwaizumi had to care for you so much, even letting him living with you for a year. You admired the way he's known you since high school and now that you all had to choose different paths but he still took the one that had you in it since Tooru left you stranded.

With every tear that left your eyes, he was one step ahead to wipe them away and comfort you with his embrace. His patience when he sees you passed out on the couch from binge watching a series you were never really interested in, even to bringing you to random events just to spark your interest like you had back in school. Taking the time for you to fully open yourself to him by sharing your memories with Oikawa and why you've gained an attachment to his white car that held too many memories for you to just let go instantly.

At first, Iwaizumi wanted to laugh at how simple it was. What was so special about these late night drives and basic driving lessons from him? Wasn't that just one of the little things included in a relationship?

But then he sees the way you'd always ask him to put the windows down and how you preferred driving at night, driving without a specific location. Even when you'd clung to the seatbelt when he'd drive in the rain. He was more than curious. There were so many questions in his head but he had to give you some space knowing these memories course through your heart and mind everyday.

Now looking at you as you leaned on the seat with a solemn look on your face, he realizes how heavy it was for you to drive like this, without him by your side.

"He's proud of you, you know?" Iwaizumi whispers as you shift your body to face him, leaning your head on the seat.

"If only that was true." You whispered as he shakes his head before hesitantly sets his hand on your knee as a way of reassurance.

"I never understood it at first but now I guess it makes a fuck lot of sense why you didn't wanna get your drivers license." He comments, making you nod drunkenly.

"Because what's a journey without him?"

Iwaizumi then shifts his body like you did, fully invested in whatever you had to say feeling like this was finally the moment where you'd let him just how bad were those memories embedded in you.

"He used to say- that the best part of getting my license was that distance can never be a problem but says the asshole who's fucking miles away huh?" Iwaizumi knew that even if it was a joke, you held nothing but the truth. He sees the way your eyes didn't hold a sparkle anymore when Oikawas name was mentioned or just the sight of him. You didn't look like the lovesick fool back in high school, that made Iwaizumi realize how love makes such an impact on a person.

"I don't even know who to come home to anymore."

"You have me."

Iwaizumi boldly confesses as your eyes gaze at him, wide eyed at his statement. How come it held something that you could never figure out? Realizing that he held his heart in his hands, he switches the tone of his voice, finding it hard to fight the urge to be real with himself.

"As your friend, idiot. Plus, I don't trust you around cup noodles." He adds, trying to clear the tension that surrounded the two of you. Smiling at him, you close your eyes, wondering why it felt right to be in this moment. You felt your self drown in intoxication as you took him by surprise as you let your hand rest on his cheek as Iwaizumi flinches at the sudden contact but finds himself accepting it, ignoring the pleas of his thoughts to back away.

"Don't fall in love with my broken pieces, Hajime. You deserve someone who is- complete."

You let a tear slip from your eyes as it mixed with exhaustion as Iwaizumi lets out an anxious breath as he takes in every word you said.

Yet there he was picking every piece of you wherever you went, admiring each of them.

Before he could answer, he felt your hand slip away from his skin and he turns to see you asleep. He gently puts you back in your seat, putting on your seatbelt as he frustratedly runs his fingers through his dark hair as he feels the trembling of his fingers. Hands to the steering wheel, gripping it knowing he's betrayed his own promise.

Opening his phone to check the time, what flashes before him was a photo of the three of you when you graduated. He sees Oikawa with a hand to your waist, grinning brightly at the camera while you had your eyes closed with a smile, holding out a peace sign. His eyes linger on Oikawa before he watches over your figure on the passenger seat.

Lastly, he throws his head back before glancing at Oikawa in the picture, closing his eyes before painfully whispering to himself.

"I've never felt this way for no one."

He then shuts his phone as he turns on the engine, hoping that this isn't the night where he'll regret leaving his heart open.

-

"Don't overthink it." Iwaizumi whispers as you sniffle in his arms, he let his hands play with your hair as he removes the phone from your hands. Why did it have to be so early? It's 10am, both of you were utterly exhausted from the night before, one of you experiencing a heavy hang over, and the other just extremely tired from his racing thoughts.

Unfortunately, Hajime found you sat up frantically on the bed as he quickly stepped in just to see an image of a post from one of Oikawas fan pages. Spotted in multiple places were the one and only Oikawa Tooru, accompanied by a certain blonde. Captured in photos were segments of them in a café holding hands, smiles plastered on either lips. Which lead him to sit beside you and embrace you, seeing that your luck was purely running out.

You hated how in each photo, he looked painfully happy. Even if you were meant to skip the photo, how could you when this was real evidence that he's promises were turning into thin air the more you look at it. After a year of constant aches and wasted tears, here he was smiling, which you envied until the end.

"God- she's tall, gorgeous, I can never-" Iwaizumi shushes you as you wiped you tears as they continuously ran through his sweats. Iwaizumi leans his head on yours, sighing as he prepares himself, wishing that you'd realize that not enough words were there to describe how beautiful you were.

"Don't try to tell yourself that you can't compare to her- because you're all he could ever want. "

"Shit, I'm so sorry. " Iwaizumi says as he watches a figure pick up the ball that landed next to her, a ball that was spiked by him, almost hitting her directly. You turn around, the ball in your hands with a smile.

"No it's fine!" You say but Iwaizumi was struck with the view of you. You hand the ball to him but the beating of his heart was as loud as fireworks during New Years. He knows you, of course he does. Oikawa never stops ranting about you anyway, showing him multiple photos of you, completely bragging about the fact that he's got you to himself.

And fuck- you were prettier than what the pixels display you in the setters phone, you had the ace momentarily blank at your presence.

How lucky. He thinks.

"Iwaizumi was it? I'm Y/N!" You reach your hand out as he smiles at you, taking in your hand shaking it lightly, as he stared at your eyes and admired the way your lips were tugged in a beautiful smile.

So this is her. He says to himself and the feeling washes away when Oikawa walks up to greet you with a kiss to your cheek. Turning away, he shrugs his shoulders returning to play.

She's his.

"Believe me that Oikawa can never look at anyone else the way he does with you." He puts your face in between his hands, wiping your tears as you sobbed holding onto his him. Iwaizumi wanted to scream at how the world kept pushing you through your limit.

Seeing the images felt like the universe added salt to your open wounded heart. It felt like your heart was progressively being tossed around like it was nothing. How come everyday felt like you weren't given a chance to be at peace? How come the moment you felt the tiniest amount of calmness was being in the car with Iwaizumi and then the next day you were back to zero all over again.

The image of yourself was already broken when you let yourself completely fall for the insecurities, but how can you rise from all of it? When it was clear that she was all you ever wanted to be.

"Hey, why don't we take a break? For real now, Y/N. Let's just put the phone down and- rest." Iwaizumi whispers, caressing your cheek as you closed your eyes, desperate to remove all trace of emotion. You wanted to blur out the world even for a second and Iwaizumi could promise you a silence worth more than you could ever want.

Your lungs were giving out, every muscle in your body, every function. It felt like any time you could collapse from the lack of sleep, the lack of proper nutrients, the lack of a smile. Your confidence was down to one as you held onto Iwaizumis words, drifting off into what he said before about Oikawa.

If all that he could ever want was you, how come you didn't feel like you weren't what he needed?

-

"You know that you're just being an asshole at this point, Tooru." Iwaizumi says as Oikawa sighs at the other end of the line. The blonde casually looks over to the setter as she takes a sip of her coffee. Oikawa leans on the pillow as he chooses his words wisely.

"How is she?" He asks, he can imagine the way Iwaizumi would roll his eyes, followed by a disappointed scoff. Oikawa knew the way your mind would work, and it never grew on him how every motion of his would bring destruction to you in any shape or form.

"What do you think? She's fucking crying again."

Even if there was a pinch to his heart, he simply took a deep breath to sustain how painful it was.

"Who is she, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi asks desperately. Oikawa turns to the girl sat in the dinner table as she meekly smiles unknowing she was the certain topic of the two best friends. The setter tiredly runs his hand over his face, wondering if there could be a way that he can exit without stepping on you and Iwaizumis heart.

"You owe me at least one explanation. If you can't give me one, then I'll be-"

"I'm ready. I'll tell you who she is."

And with the following sentences, the ace felt his ears ring along with a ruined heart.

-

Driving has never felt so rueful before but with every passing mile, all Oikawa wanted to do was stop and turn to where you were.

With a stab to his heart, he promised himself that he can never come back until he's found the silence in his mind.

"This is for us. I'll be better, Y/N. I'll come home to you- and I hope you can wait."

Those words may seem like they were directed to you but Tooru can feel himself stand small to his own declaration. He knows you're willing to wait for god knows how long, but he's indecisive if he has the power to wait for this emptiness that surrounds him.

He couldn't allow the rage in his soul to sit around and act like he's deaf to the screams of it. He needed to stop the sensation of his hands missing the way the ball was placed in it and how each serve leaves a breathtaking reaction on any crowd. The hole in his heart was too big enough for him to ignore, and he'd allow anyone to call him selfish knowing it was the inescapable truth.

Hearing all your voice messages to him the following morning had his heart begging for release. Every crack in your voice had him tipping over the edge. He deserved it- god he deserved it more than anyone else because he would have never heard such pain if he didn't book a flight to Argentina.

"Tooru, baby what happened? Please tell me this is a joke."

"Please fucking answer I need you- god Oikawa please!"

"Come back to me, Tooru- I'll do anything please."

"I love y-you, but I guess you've changed your mind huh?"

"Tooru, let's go home yeah?" A soft voice calls out for him as he averts his gaze to her. He sees how his bags were packed as well her tiny suitcase next to her, all dressed up to go. He stands up from where he is, gripping the handle of the luggage as the girl turns to him with such worry.

It was usual for the girl to awake him from his thoughts and he was thankful that she was brought to him, helping him in ways he could never imagine. She was a mere light in his street, a guide in his moonlight trips, and this was finally the moment to stop the waiting.

He takes a look at his apartment, before landing his eyes on the blonde girl who was tying her hair. He smiles fondly as he's felt the adrenaline to finally move again.

"Yeah, let's go."

TWO DAYS LATER ; 9:16PM

"Hajime, stop fucking around!" You laughed as you continued to drive. What a breather it was, to drive with somebody who brought warmth to the passenger seat. Previously, Iwaizumi tested your so called driving skills as he purposely flicks your forehead from time to time for no absolute reason.

You two were on your way home from a movie and Iwaizumi was the star that had grabbed your heart the entire night. He was pulling these jokes, making you cackle to no extent, threatening you that if you'd lose the arcade game one of you will have to forcefully wash the dishes for a week, of course both wouldn't back down.

Maybe for the first time, Oikawa has never visited your mind.

And damn did it feel good.

The part that you found pieces of yourself slowly gathering as you were introduced into a new way of light, it felt too good to be true. Felt like each piece was slowly coming all back together because Iwaizumi was the glue that got you together, it may take a long time to fully be fixed, but the ace proved to you his promise.

You're finally resting.

After the anger that rose above you, Iwaizumi stayed confident to his promise of finally giving you a break you well deserved. He fulfilled you days without technology to shield yourself from any knives from the social world, got you out of bed to watch the sunrise with you, left you places to visit while he was out for his internship. This was more than you could ever ask for.

It felt like flowers were decorating your lungs, heart was slowly being treated with a smile, and laughter that radiated growth.

All because of Iwaizumi.

Now there's a new feeling that has unlocked in your heart and you could feel the burn of it when you noticed how everything felt so light. Unlike before where every step felt too heavy for you to carry on, now that weight is being lifted off by Hajime.

And nothing feels better than that.

-

Inserting your hands into the pocket of your hoodie, you shivered in the nights embrace. Once Hajime has fallen asleep on the couch, you decided to take a stroll and your feet lead you to a place you've yet to visit in a year.

It was a walk meant for you to clear your head, to settle if everything was going to be permanent because you had to know which part of the moments you wanted to hold onto.

This was entirely a mistake- to stroll around his neighborhood like it was always welcoming you with open arms. All the things you wanted to decide on felt like it vanished once you became familiar with the turns of his car when it drove to this place.

This is where it all began. The lessons, the confessions, the blossoming of love, everything. It doesn't matter how many times you try to deny it, this place will always make your heart bleed at how noxious it was. You can never hate the way chills ran up your spine because of how they all rushed to your mind as fast as light.

It's truly a crime to despise how love is formed.

With the sight of his house, a smile creeps on your face remembering your last interaction in this household.

"This is my lovely, Y/N." He sweetly introduces you as you respectfully bowed but you were taken by surprise when you were hugged by his mom, making your boyfriend laugh at your crazed expression. You lose this tenseness when you felt how endearing she was as you gained courage to gently wrap your arms around her too.

"Welcome honey! I've been wanting to meet you so badly since this twat never shuts up about you." She says earning a pout from your boyfriend and a giggle from you. You turn to his dad smiling softly, as he reciprocates your gesture.

"Might as well get used to the house babe, you'll be an Oikawa soon."

You felt your heart clench with his words and you avert your eyes on the road instead. Finding it hard to sustain the bite of how it all turned into a pile of lies.

"No, mom! Please don't embarrass me like that."

You hear a voice shout out making you jolt from your previous stance.

Meanwhile, Iwaizumi awakens with a groan as his phone dings with every second. As he grumpily opens his phone, he was greeted by a flood of messages coming from a certain setter making him sit up and frantic to reach for you. Seeing your door that was wide open, he lets out a gasp as he fidgets for the door, cussing himself at the situation.

"Fuck, Y/N please no."

You suppressed your sobs with a tight hand to your mouth as you felt your feet gain the urge to ran away but your mind demanded you to stay to finally awaken you in this false hope you've been holding onto.

A silhouette of his tall now much more bulky figure was stood next to more of a petite on with hair tied in a ponytail. Wiping your eyes to sharpen your vision, it hit you like a grenade at war.

There he was, proudly introducing the girl that's haunted your dreams.

Oikawa was smiling brightly at her as you watched her look at him with the same expression.

He's right there with someone who isn't you and can never be you.

"You and me, love. That's all it takes."

"Tooru." You whispered as if you'd ever get the chance to let him notice your cries. God, it was unbearable. No words came to your mind, no beating of your heart, it was all gone because the only thing that will forever linger in your mind is the sight of the person you waited so long to come home to, has gone and found the perfect replacement.

Her.

Another glance meant like a sword heading straight to your heart in one swing so you finally decide to turn your back on something you knew you had to forget.

Love.

-

"Tooru, who is she?" His mom asks softly, not wanting to let the curiosity lace her tone knowing the smile on his sons face was an exact look he had when he had you.

"This is Himari." He glances to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, with his lips tugged into a smile, a genuine one that's been kept a secret for too long.

"My dear little helper." Oikawa jokes as Himari rolls her eyes as his parents grew more in confusion at the sight of this stranger.

"Help with what Tooru?"

"To get Y/N to live with me in Argentina."

[satanisnotapogostick]

sam playlist liner notes

1. jesse got trapped in a coal mine – goodnight, texas

dean picking sam up from stanford in the pilot: jesse getting trapped in the coal mine

(he never DID marry his girl)

2. me and bobby mcgee – kris kristofferson

to me, me and bobby mcgee is about when sam runs away from dean and hangs out with meg before she outs herself as a demon

3. dorothy - mewithoutYou

“one turned into sr. Margaret, and I said "if you can change your shape that easily can you take the form of my dead father?”… then last night I was somewhere near virginia rebuking satan with ironic faithfulness. and satan turned to me: have you thought much about that cry?"

lucifer AND john themes???? yes.

4. life during wartime – talking heads

this song is sam adjusting to being a hunter and being at war, where he’ll stay for the rest of his life <3

5. this is how we do things in the country – slim cessna’s auto club

ok so this song is about sam killing madison. when you murder the girl you’re sweet on but it’s righteous and everyone thanks you for it. this is how it’s always been! this is how we do things in the country! (and also getting amy killed, a little bit, but that hasn’t happened yet. this is still early seasons)

6. clampdown – the clamp

“the voices in your head are calling. stop wasting your time, there's nothing coming, only a fool would think someone could save you… but you grow up and you calm down, and you're working for the clampdown.”

damn maybe we’re not the good guys. anyway!!

7. smith & jones forever – silver jews

smith & jones (salmondean) together!! forever!!

8. everything you did – steely dan

oh bro you slutted around with a demon and let satan out. what have you done

9. tortoises all the way down - mewithoutYou

“everybody knows, son. everybody knows what you've done!!”

just crazyass guilt song

10. up jumped the devil – nick cave

the tiger. he destroyed his cage. yes. YES. the tiger is out.

11. (ghost) riders in the sky – marty robbins

“then cowboy change your ways today or with us you will ride. tryin’ to catch the devil herd across these endless skies”

just s5 endless chase vibes

12. needle in the hay – elliott smith

demon blood detox time baby

13. emperor – mark lanegan

“why can’t I get right? all these demons to enslave me. who’s left to fight? oh, just the emperor.” the emperor being lucifer. obviously.

14. skating away (on the thin ice of a new day) – jethro tull

they have the horseman rings!! sam’s about to jump into the cage!! your world is about to end, but it’s okay!! you’ve done it!!

15. the passenger – iggy pop

and lol now he’s possessed by lucifer

16. the mercy seat – nick cave

okay now we’re at stull and he’s REALLY going to the gallows (jumping in)

17. when you die - MGMT

I imagine this song happening during the fall itself from stull into the cage. honestly this is a weaker entry but like. haha tfw you die

18. fifteen feet of pure white snow – nick cave

thee cage song.

“I waved to my neighbot, my neighbor waved to me. but my neighbor is my enemy. I kept waving my arms til I could not see, under fifteen feet of pure white snow. is anyone out there please? it’s too quiet in here and I’ve beginning to freeze. I’ve got icicles hanging from my knees, under fifteen feet of pure white snow”

you’ve even got icy temperature themes!

19. loverman – nick cave

yeah <3

“there’s a devil waiting outside your door (how much longer?) there’s a devil waiting outside your door and he’s bucking and braying and pawing at the floor and he’s howling with pain and crawling up the walls…. loverman!!! till the bitter end!!! while empires burn down forever and ever and ever and ever amen”

nick cave count: 4

20. satan it’s you – jett screams

@polishnatural recommendation. cellmates (and bunk buddies) with the devil in hell type vibes

21. relax, take it easy - mika

the war has already been won and nothing that happens in here has any effect on the real world. why not relax into the simplicity of it all!! (sometimes it’s just better when things are bad type vibes)

22. don’t lose your temper - xtc

we’re out of the cage! and starting strong with a mocking song bc he already lost his temper and grew mild and that’s why he’s too tired to fight. so this is the only hallucifer era song on the playlist

23. first wave intact – secret machines

war metaphors. extended wars. unwinnable wars.

“I wonder what you're waiting for. I wonder what you're working for. I wonder what you're living for. I wonder what you're dying for”

same king

24. mexican war streets - mewithoutYou

“but how long before our tails are caught by our "free" thought?” INDEED

“nature had another plan (& failed to run it by me!) nature had another plan, some other surrogate self to live in the sediment of so many somebody elses' innumerable lives and you were right: it's not a person who dies but worlds die inside us”

SO TRUE. we’re fully breaking into late seasons here

mwY count: 3

25. screen shot - swans

these are all sam’s meditation mantras. he’s offering a course: how to become okay with really horrible situations that you are also complicit in. “love! now! breathe! now! love! now! breathe! now!”

26. god’s away on business – tom waits

IT WASN’T GOD IN YOUR HEAD SAM

27. when the lights come on – they might be giants

when the lights come on (when lucifer brings you back to life)

28. light’s on

TWO songs about sam’s resurrection at lucifer’s hands??? yeah ;)

“the lights are on, you don’t know just who your friends are. the lights are on, and it’s light you’ll never know”

29. devil’s resting place – laura marling

I mean. yeah. his time in the cage with the devil coming back to haunt him

30. failure - swans

see my edit that I won’t link bc I can’t find. but anyway yeah. this guy fails a lot

31. last song about satan – slim cessna’s auto club

ding dong the devil is dead!!

32. president – max frost

@girlkingsam recommendation. late seasons sam vibes for sure. plus this song can be read as being about hell politics which is fun. I don’t give a damn who’s president (of hell)!

33. the road goes on forever – the highwayen

cycles of violence, etc. the road goes on forever, nothing ever (really) changes. (also yes sonny is dean and sherry is sam. I guess)

34. careers in combat – parquet courts

the namesake of my little fanfiction.

“there are no more summer lifeguard jobs, there are no more art museums to guard. the lab is out of white lab coats cause there are no more slides and microscopes. but there are still careers in combat my son!!!”

king of hell ending please please you’re nothing. anyway he’s been at war his whole life and war is his legacy. anyway.