#ok so i just realized that people who follow me on here probably dont know that i have an ao3 bc i never plug it. but its there

[moretheta]

i'm on the black if i pot this (3479 words) by channaro Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hunter X Hunter Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Illumi Zoldyck

I'll smolder and fold you entirely in two Just to holster a wholesome little darling like you A cold comfort is better than a scolding hot truth But I told you I'd never web a lie around you and I meant it

Illumi gets his Spider tattoo in the dingy crevice passing for the Troupe's base of operations. Chrollo fucks him on the floor before the ink has even dried.

[steven-has-exploded]

ive yet to really see anyone else point this out but i think fyodor is going to end up being one of the most gut-wrenchingly unstable and sympathetic (to ME atleast) characters in bsd. what i perceive as foreshadowing for this has all been pretty vague, but thats really only further ammunition considering the way asagiri likes to write via throwing the wildest shit at us out of nowhere at 50mph and expecting us to deal with it. how did i first come to this conclusion? harukawas eye thing

this is going to be long please proceed with caution if you read slowly or just not at literal supersonic speed. rant under cut u know how this works

for those unaware or who have since forgotten the exact details, here is the image explaining harukawas thing with eyes, click to read;

so. fyodors eyes are usually very light, which a few other people have pointed out is probably due to the fact he genuinely believes his goal of ridding the world of abilities is following gods will; almost everything he does is a necessary evil to acheive the idealistic dream of a world without abilities. he understands his actions are wrong, but you cant go through with a goal such as that without doing morally reprehensible things in the process. anws so as user wildflowerteas pointed out his eyes are extremely dark after hes resurrected

now, could this just be signifying that fyodor can now continue doing his fucked up little deeds via his functional immortality? yes. but asagiri doesnt seem to write that way and i need an excuse to defend fyodor because im insane

asagiri generally doesnt write characters, especially important ones, as subscribing to one specific side of the moral compass. sure, there are characters that are more morally good or bad or gray than others, but not every one of their actions is as such. characters arent straight heroes or villains in their actions, and sometimes not even narratively; fitzgerald did everything for his wife to finally be happy and see her daughter again, dazai still trained akutagawa the way he did despite knowing it was abusive because his circumstances couldnt allow him to change before oda died, et cetera

so, lets interpret it another way. fyodors eyes being dark after resurrection may not be a reflection of his sinister personality, but rather the way he views and experiences his own countless deaths. he is purified in death and tainted when hes brought back; at peace in his last moments and destroyed when hes alive again. so what conclusion did this realization bring me to? fyodor is a suicidal maniac and hates his ability hear me out Please

in hindsight it seems really obvious to me now; what other reason could have spurred him on to try to desperately to erase abilities if not because he himself despises his own? his ability is truly the purest act of cruelty someone can experience when driven to the point he has been; it lets him bask in the calm of death, the comfort of everything finally ending, the solace that hes going to be finally rewarded for his actions by god. but only for a moment. once that moment is over, hes torn back into the world of the living, in the body of his own killer, the corpse of his last vessel staring him in the face as if to mock him for what he could never have. it deprives him of the human right to even die. what kind of person who claims to love all humanity wouldnt want to free the world of abilities, if others' have caused them as much pain as his has to him?

okok i apologize for making u hear me wax poetic about an anime twink version of fyodor dostoevsky but if youre still not convinced, which is ok i can see why this would be very insane to someone who isnt obsessed with this guy, i want you to just imagine for a moment how living with that kind of power would effect you. while we dont know fyodors exact age, we can assume that hes been alive for at least about 500 years due to his ability. fyodor isnt some kind of immortal being that has a conveniently human form, he is an actual human being who was first murdered presumably just in his twenties based on his appearance, who then had to slowly come to the realization that he will experience small spots of death before having to continue the same cycle of immortality for forever. human beings cant grasp the concept of infinity; our brains arent wired to deal with the idea, because everything in our own lives comes to an end. fyodor will never experience that. even if you view him as plain evil, pure and simple, no human being wishes to have their brain broken by the hands of infinity. and yet thats what fyodor is experiencing

[liquidstar]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

For drinks, fandom, character design, and uh free choice for whatever you feel like bestie

Ok for drinks, I've actually been thinking about this all day- I saw a poll that said something like “have you ever been to a house party (with alcohol; no family parties)” and, well, maybe op meant it as two separate points of clarity but… it's normal to drink at family parties? Right? Ik it's totally not the point of the poll, but I've never been to a family party where there weren't drinks. Why would there not be drinks???? There should be drinks. Those don't have to be mutually exclusive.

I realize that you were probably asking me about drink preference opinions. I don't have any strong unpopular ones. My grandpa makes a mean moonshine though. We have it at family parties, you see.

TBH whenever I’m at parties, family or otherwise, or just at the club or a restaurant, my drink of choice is usually just “bring me something with 2 or 3 shots of vodka idk im just trying to get drunk.” im going somewhere this week that has once rejected my id bc i look young, so this time i’m bringing my whole passport. I think it’s at my parents house but i will get it. And so help me god i am going to drink this time. Thats not even an unpopular opinion just a personal grievance lol

-

For fandom…. My unpopular opinion is that actually it’s best to just get into stuff a couple years after the peak popularity. I know some ppl feel like they missed out, but I think it’s better. You don’t have to deal with The Fandom People, but theres still stuff to engage with, and still a following of fewer dedicated ppl who weren’t just riding a fandom hypetrain. It’s more chill. Like, I am so sorry, but rn it’s dungeon meshi. I was really enjoying it at first, but the fandom made me wanna stop, at least for now. Mostly because I dislike the way people in it seem to look down on other works within the same medium, and that also does the work itself a discredit. But yeah, I wanna try to get back into it, but I need people to, like, relax first. Thats also why im able to peacefully enjoy rezero on tumblr, where theres like 12 ppl into it, so i dont have to deal w the annoying nerdboy fans who just talk abt "waifus" (its funny that my issues are "too pretentious" and "not pretentious enough" lol)

-

My 3rd unpopular opinion is that fart jokes can be kinda funny but they have to be done well. im fresh off the heels of watching a movie with the kids, so thats why im thinking abt this. You can't just throw it in randomly it's about timing. And it has to know it's stupid. I think the key is it has to know it's stupid. BUT NOT GROSS. gross on its own its nothing. Adventure Time and Regular Show understand. Very deep opinions only here

[whatdoyouwanttocallmefor]

Okay maybe I got to carried with the manhwa and all stuff but imagines okay, imagines..

Readers have been living with sully's family and then so suddenly they died because of well, sky people. And at the same time they remembers that they actually still did not live their life to the fullest so before they closed their eyes, the last thing they said to the character is "if I live in the next life... Let's be the happiest and change everything..together"

Well, here's what it is. What if reader got to go back in time before everything happened. Before every chaos happened. Maybe like before jake got serious with teyyam position or maybe they will try to follow lo'ak troubles antics and at last they got to change their fate by saving their family earlier.

But as eywa fate (I mean most of us should know) that life will need to pay with live. So maybe before the reader got to go back in time just maybe they talk with eywa and they say like give them a last chance to change their family fates and eywa gave them? But in order to do that after everything is finished she needs to die back because her time has actually already come. So the reader agreed.

The Sully's is so confused why with their way of acting so matured and why the reader did not act like their self usually does. And the only one who will come and try to confront is teyyam because the reader is hs favourite among the siblings (dont tell tuk) and he wants to get to the bottom of it.

So he asked but the only thing the reader said was "This is the end of my chapter even though my story never started before" and teyyam was hella confused. Like what the hell of this nonsense as if they're gonna die?

And the next day probably the day reader got clingy with jake and Jake did the same thing to the reader because honestly he missed these few things too. I like playing and laughing together. Same with Loak, kiri, tuk and neytiri. All of them spend time together and end the day with cuddling until they are asleep.

And the next day when neteyam woke up he felt weird because as always the reader was gonna be the first one to wake up and he tried to wake them up thinking that maybe they were just over asleep. But as he was shaking the reader's body his face changed when he realized that his sibling body had already turned cold as if being in the freezer.

And that's when neteyam realized what they said when he asked what was going on. And the only thing he can say when he sees his favourite sibling go back to eywa is "Your chapter already started before your story got to begin. Now lets end the chapter and open a new book"

Ok Im not good with english but if anybody wants to write these stories please tell me because Im too afraid to write it since my grammar just sucks af

[nathanialhowe]

Dragon Age OC Lineup

Richter (Ricky) Cousland. -> Human. Sword & Board Warrior. He / Him. Bisexy. -> Lawful Good/Stupid to Neutral Good pipeline (still stupid) -> Romance: Morrigan but there was a lil something homosexual happening with Alistair for a bit if i'm not mistaken. In the end pragmatic and probably evil coochie won out sorry brother. -> Meat? There's heft. Really big. but hes like shy about it hes like omg? am i packing 12 inches of uncut beef? whaaat. ermmm. do u still like me? 😳

Ricky is ignorant, naive, a little classist, dumb, self-sacrificing, trusting, loyal, brave, spineless in his beliefs cus he thinks he's stupid, and will trust people in positions of power more often than he should. He likes it when people tell him what to believe cus then he doesn't have to do any hard thinking. This changes a lil bit in that he loses faith in a lot of the institutions around Ferelden and the greater world but he still doesn't like to do any big deep thinking about stuff <3 He's also a deadbeat dad and Idt he knows how to parent Kieran very well lmao. he used 2 be rlly uptight abt his appearance/cleanliness until oggie called him a stupid rich pussy and now hes like eh whatever abt being waist deep in hurlock cunt or whateever

Batman Hawke. -> Human. Mage. Iforget what kinds there r in da2. She/Her. -> Chaotic Neutral to Chaotic Good probably probably but shes reluctant to do "good" shit cus she doesnt really want to deal w ppl being like omg youre ms nice woman cus she's a bit of a self-hating poor who will not examine her freshly minted privilege ): I wouldn't say she's easy to manipulate thru appeal to pathos but if you're annoying enough with your sob story she will probably Consider. -> Romance: all of them like i literall had anders t posing in the back of the hawke estate while isabela and hawke rawdogged in the next room over lmaoaaa....Like canonly id say its like BatmanxFenris and Fenris and Batman are also with Isabela and Isabela is ALSO with Merrill. anders is there. idt batman actually recruited anders i think he got all intense on her and she was like damn lets ball ok but then he got too extreme and she was like dude im literally; strugling to care abt mage rights rn can you put a lid on it and then he was just following her around to mansplain why shes wrong. fair. she learned like nine new slurs from him. -> Meat? Biggest. like so big shes like which staff do u need tonight babygirl 😂😎 heyoooo and then gets left at the hanged man

Batman likes money and having stuff. <3 She likes beaing rich but she's really tacky about it. shes grubby and gross and is like im bringing wolfcuts BACK adn its like a shitty mullet <3 she goes into situations like ok explain why this involves me? and leaves while u r talking about ur missing wife or whatever. real "i dont want to talk abt politics at the table" type of shit shes on. i havent thought too hard about batman hawke but shes like passively suicidal but very cool about it and is 6ft and buff and has huge boobs and huge meat. she wants to be mr steals your girl but goes in for the high five at the worst possible time and doesnt realize shes actually the biggest failgirl of all time. i cant stress this enough she is NOT cool. "fake it till u make it" shes saying as shes applying 50lbs of eyeliner in the morning and shes crying but doesnt think u can see and she lies abt why her eyes r all red and says shes just smoking pot again. she should just be working at a waffle house but shes here.

Kronk of House Trevelyan. -> Another Human. Big Surprise. Rift Mage. -> Lawful Neutral to Lawful Evil pipeline but probably he was always a schemer and a social climber. -> Romance: Josephine and Dorian do not make me choose between them but if I'm being honest I don't know who'd want him. probably he fronts as way more kind and charming than he actually is and i DO think when kronk is loyal to someone he is ferociously so. but it takes a lot like that dude had half the inquisition hate his pussy so bad lmao. -> Meat? Yeah He's Got It but also if Kronk could cease to be a person and become, like, god? he'd do it. then meat wouldnt matter. (hes on some crazy copium) Actually he's thick as hell and chunky and all and is built like a brick wall but im going to be brave and say he's probably not packing a crazy amount like ricky and batman and if they ever found out theyd tease him abt it cus hes such an asshole lol

Kronk does bestieship with Vivienne and would destroy people's lives to see his allies in positions of power. he'd declare himself divine if it was possible. he's a self-hating mage and loves the circle. he doesn't necessarily have Faith in the circle OR in institutions but he wants to make it so they benefit Him and doesnt gaf about if theyre hurting other ppl who aren't in his #crew. (his crew is very small cus most ppl cannot stand this dude btw). he threatens to make ppl tranquil for the fuck of it and follows thru most of the time. he'll lie and cheat to make his way to the top but he wont get his own hands dirty <3 he loves knowledge and learning and power <3 he doesn't actually care abt money but he cares about status cus it will create avenues for him to pursue evil magic or whatever the fuck this dude wants. type of guy whos like yeah world domination sounds fun i could do that then he's in control and hes like FUckckkkkkkkkkkk im so bored. ok public execution time! or something. mostly he's a nihilist and doesnt have faith in his fellow man. he wants all the secrets of magic revealed to him <3 he doesnt like templars but hes like fine whatever we can deal if they wanna keep all other mages (NOT ME) under their thumb. "circles are great but u wont catch ME going back to mine!" type of guy. i resent that inquisition suggested the inquisitor was a huge Hawke fan cus kronk would fucking hate her new money ass. like shes just so stupid about things. ricky hates this dude btw their first meeting would come to blows and i think he was like morrigan can u just blow this dude Uppppppppp and she was like erm no. we cannot blow up the inquisitor and ricky was like farkkkkk ok. i just dropped kieran on his head again btw honey what do i do ):

Mingus R. Shepard.

Mingus.

[appatary8523]

Dumb probably negative no context rambles under the cut

Last chance, don't ruin your mood and go back

OK you wanted it this way

1.- I like STW but I usually have to get up to do things while playing (yea sometimes in FN:BR I hide in bushes to go and do some other stuff. I've barely made any progress, the game is quite complicated to me because I don't play it often and I forget what was going on? And I don't know how to use most of the mechanics of the game(? Still, the humor is funny, the gameplay might feel repetitive from time to time but I like it, I really really like it.

I also would like to have more IRL friends who play STW (or FN in general), I bet that game mode is way funnier and rewarding in squad. But nobody plays it, and I think I have no friends who play FN? Just my older brother and he has his own duo so I'm not getting in between them (?) (and he doesn't like STW so he doesn't even have access to it). There's a dude at my workplace who plays FN but no thanks, I don't like him, he's stupid (he's the it guy who can't fix a damn thing. I hate that guy he's so stupid)

As always, I'm playing solo in this squad mode game called life (?

2.- I know I often say I'm doing it for me but, damn, I wish someone could like it the way I like it too. I'll see if it's worth the effort or if I should just finish the damn thing and save if for myself. I'm not hurt or anything alike, I was 1000% aware this was going to happen, and it's helping me improve. I think I just don't want to deal with that anymore. Sorry, I lose motivation quite often and easily

3.- I try to keep everything happy and positive in my FN blog but... I don't really like Hope. I mean she's cool and all that but I just don't like her e-girl thing going on. The only thing I like about her is the cat on her banner icon whatever the name of that thing is. Neither sunsp0t, actually y don't like a lot of things but I'll just save my awful FN opinions. I should've saved my headcanons too

4.- Surprise surprise (actually is no surprise) I'm losing followers. And I get it, I get you guys, I used to post funny things, funny drawings (or drawings in general) but now I just complain about everything. Sorry, I'm not in a good mood anymore.

I don't think people should keep following/stay suscribed to a channel, account, blog thing they dont like no more. I've seen artists (on Twitter of course) complaining about how people should not follow an account for X specific thing but I don't think that's how things work. Just like the things you like change, the things other like change too. They should NOT feel forced to like the things you like and see the things you want to share. But I guess you have to grow up to realize that. I personally don't feel offended when people stop following me, right now I'm offering nothing but negative text post, and that's OK. Curate the things you consume, make it a more pleasant experience, don't feel forced to follow someone you no longer like.

I personally follow people for a specific thing, and sometimes, like everyone, they change the things they make, but if I like their stuff I usually stick around because it's interesting! I just stop following if they change for worse (the same way I changed for worse). Still, not everyone thinks the same way I do.

5.- I still thinking I should just make another sideblog to dump all this dumb kind of posts but honestly I don't want to deal with it. Making an FN exclusive sideblog was already way too much, but I didn't want to mix all in here

6.- I guess that's what you get for interacting with people half your age.

7.- Shouldn't have joined, should've stayed away

8.- I wish we could talk, someday. I'd like to know you better. I know I don't exist for you but you mean so much for me (yea now I understand my taste for one-sided fictional relationships lol). I know, im stupid, I'm delusional, I'm, as always, daydreaming about things that will never ever happen and I will never have. I can't understand love, I can't wrap my head around the idea of being romantically involved with someone but that's OK, that kind of things are not meant for me

9.- I wish I could control whatevers going on in my mind. I wish it could slow the pace of my thoughts, I need some rest from the world but most important, I need a break from myself but I guess there's nothing I can do about it

10.- Also, Beatles song

11.- I fell asleep after posting this and I OBVIOUSLY had to edit it to add this because i DREAMED someone gave me some support words and it felt so nice and comforting jdjsjs I'm alone

12.- Morningssey song. Yes I like him too so sue me (?

[hcfiles]

blah blah blah or they are simply a real couple expecting a Baby. End of. 🙄

And now not only Natalie is PR but all his other relationships too? Woman you need Jesus. Is it because you cant stand the thought of Henry having partners? Is that your problem? He's one of the hottests dude in the world he doesnt need PR Girlfriends. The only one that might have been PR is with Kaley Cuoco. I think you have never been a fan of Henry at all. Cant be because how come you never noticed anything of that before? Just now when a woman came into his Life you hate, now it's suddenly clear to you? astonishing!

Gina talked about Henry recently, they were very seriously! She alone debunks your "all his relationships are pr" bs. And before you attack again, Im not afraid to admit I hate the way you talk about Henry but its not because i fear you are right...NO its because I hate when people manipulate others on the internet because ive seen how it works. A lot of people arent smart, dont do their own research...they read something and believe it. So im asking you, at least tell people its only your opinion. Do not state your opinion as facts, please. What will happen if you are proved wrong? Will you just disapear in shame and/or delete everything? You hurt people, the sooner you realize that the better.

My criticism goes against the way his team dealt with the situation. Of course he's entitled to have a relationship. And the fact he had many PR stunts doesn't avoid him from having real girlfriends hidden somewhere who don't show, despite thinking he's not that experienced, even being the hottest man on Earth. Being hot and sexy is not exactly, a synonym of a good performance.

You say I make statements and manipulate people. No! I give my version of the facts and people are entitled to disagree, like you do. For those following, I think that is clear. It's a democratic page. But, saying I manipulate people just because I give my version of facts, is way too much and it gives me a power I don't have. Even the most idiotic, has an opinion and can discuss it and disagree with me.

It is a free world. I am entitled to have a blog discussing a public matter of a public figure. Manipulating would be if I came here saying I know the couple, work with his team or in the Industry. That would make my page more credible and people dependent on my posts, coming back for more. But, your insistence in trying to argue with me is more manipulative and brings more attention than my posts.

You say you "hate when people manipulate others on the internet". But, isn't that exactly what you are trying to do? Trying to make me do or write what you want on my blog to suit your convictions? And, of course a lot aren't smart. But, I'm not here choosing or excluding readers. My page is democratic. They are free to come and go. And, I'm not responsible for what people do of the information they read. They have the free will to do whatever they want with it, including to ignore it.

I never stated my posts as facts. That is YOUR interpretation of what you read, probably based on your fears they could be true. You are responsible for how you interpret what you read. Good luck with that.

And answering your question, if I am proven wrong it will be OK and nice. At least, one way or another, we will have answers to many of the questions we have seen for years and he will have a chance (maybe) to get rid of the negative publicity and the bad luck and energy Natalie brought him.

Who do I hurt and why? Henry? He doesn't even know I exist. You? I would only hurt you if my ideas threatened your beliefs. But, I'm not going to your page to force you to believe me and you said my posts don't threaten what you believe in. So, ... If proven I'm wrong, why would I delete the blog? I might just continue with the page. There will always be something to write about, because he will always come up with some new promotion or PR stunt. But, I doubt I'm wrong. At least, not wrong about a few things.

[warriorofthesky]

starting this with the disclaimer that im a newish player (started in march) and am mostly here for the story. and i'm not a destiny doomer and am in fact counting down the days for the showcase, pretty happy with the seasons ive played so far and deeply in love with the game's world and characters. i'm having a lot of fun, i'm usually pretty annoyed at how negative this community is and ignoring destiny players on reddit and twitter was probably the best decision i've made since i downloaded the game.

HOWEVER

(tldr: destiny is a great game but a frankly terrible product. also i will compare it to ffxiv bc it is my frame of reference, sorry in advance).

(also very, veeeeeeeery long. see this as less of a "this is what i think about the state of the game article" post and more of a "i've played this game for 4 months, here is what i think about it" one.)

i dont even know what to think about the state of the game article bc i feel like im here only by happenstance, i dont care about what 95% of the player base does (that being, you know, the looter shooter part of the game) so for me the only bad thing is gambit's funeral

the whole more rewards thing simply doesnt work with me, it does not tickle my brain, im usually excited about stuff i get only bc it was hard and/or fun to get them. you will never catch me dead farming anything. you will, however, catch me dying 123123 times trying to solo spire of the watcher bc im too socially awkward to find a fireteam and overall allergic to using a mic🫠so, you know, i just dont care about 70% of that post. i acknowledge that.

but it DOES feel bad to see them go "oops, we couldnt make a new set of armor this time. btw, we arent making any of them anymore" like bruh, read the room💀is now really the time to not deliver on promises. esp when you go out of your way to shove micro transactions on our faces

it is fortunate that im also mostly immune to microtransactions bc they are all too expensive for me but they are just EVERYWHERE. i come from ffxiv and i dont even remember the store exists while im playing there. sure, ffxiv is subscription based while destiny is free to play but i'm sorry. ffxiv's free trial has more content than destiny's free to try ever will (i'd even go ahead and say ffxiv's free trial has more content than destiny ever will since destiny is fond of cannibalizing itself). especially now that they extended it to stormblood/lvl 70. depending on how much you play daily, you can spend months in ffxiv without spending a single cent.

i began playing destiny in march and immediately had to pay for shadowkeep bc what the hell was i even going to play after the first week otherwise? i keep trying to get my brother into destiny, but it is hella expensive, not to say anything of ridiculously confusing story-wise. the other day we had a big oof moment bc im trying to use dungeons to lure him in and didnt realize we had to pay for shattered throne or grasp of avarice. he didnt have the forsaken pack or the anniversary pack. i was out of money, he was only vaguely interested, and we only learned later that prophecy is the one free dungeon in the game. destiny is not free to play as far as real content is involved.

so it feels shitty to have the store shoved in your face SO much ALL the time. you have season passes and then events with their own season passes (so to speak) and then most of the cool stuff is also paid and like, ok, this is already bad, but you gotta remind me of them all the time, game? really?

it creates this massive dissonance between that the game is showing me and what i see from the many devs i follow on twitter. they are passionate people, they love what they do, i 100% believe they are doing great work within the structure they are in. but the game feels like a cash grab. its absolutely bonkers to me that the game goes out of its way to tell you that you can now buy stuff in its store. aren't you proud that now you can spend who knows how many dollars in this product of ours?? arent you??

????? okay?

and it's not just the microtransactions, it's the timegating too. my first weeks of destiny were spent with me having the thought of "god, imagine if it was like this in ffxiv. people would be SO mad squeenix would be apologizing until 2030" every other day. out of cores? too bad, you have a daily limit at rahool. out of prisms? same thing. like sir. i'm a new player. i want to at least have one set of armor masterworked. you are not convincing me to play more, you are convincing me not to give a shit. im broke af in game and out of game now lol congrats to me!

and there is more! want to do this weapon quest thingy for witch queen? too bad, not today. want to not be fool with stasis in pvp or pve? too bad, come back next week for more aspects. this chafes, yall. especially as a new player who barely has any idea of how any of these 1231231 systems work. you are not convincing me to play stasis next week. you are convincing me not to touch stasis for the next 3 months.

i will keep sighing and complaining about ffxiv's weekly capped tomestones but by god i've seen hell and it is not in ffxiv.

this state of the game that is basically telling pvpers and all four of us who enjoy gambit that they can't and won't do more feels like shit even to someone like me who actually likes gambit right now (i couldn't care less about maps lol) and who barely plays any pvp. where is all the money going? why are you shoving eververse on my face all the time then? why are you timegating me to hell in an attempt to get me to play more and spend more? why?

i do not agree with the idea that this money is going to marathon only and that is why there isn't much pvp development to speak of. that would be really stupid because destiny is bungie's main source of income and it will only be okay for them to not give a shit about it anymore when and if marathon becomes a hit and a not a moment before. however, i'm also a league player and even though i play much less now i've kept up with it and it's pretty obvious that after 10 years of being riot's only game league isn't the priority for the company nowadays. valorant is.

poor one out for legends of runeterra while we are here.

this does not mean league is abandoned. it just isn't the focus anymore. it has a consolidated player base. people are used to how it works and how content (champions) is released. there is very little financial incentive to do more than necessary. whatever is going on with bungie is... honestly normal, even if it isn't fine by our definitions. and again, i don't think it's even marathon. i think it's the executives' pockets honestly lol because what does "we don't have the resources" even mean? i know hiring more people and throwing them at the game is not the answer for quick solutions. i'm not a gamedev, but i'm a webdev working in a startup. last year we had a small influx of trainee devs and it was HELL for a few months. i'm a junior myself and i was about lose my mind if i got interrupted one more time to answer a question from the trainees again. new hires mean everyone's work will be slower for some time. but the thing is that it usually goes back to normal. i havent had a trainee interrupt my work in months now. it feels pretty incredible.

so why doesn't bungie hire more people? it will slow things down for months and months but it will pay off eventually, right? except i don't know if that's true. are more pvp maps going to bring in more money? is not shooting gambit dead going to bring in more money? probably not. again, the executives' pockets are the issue here. what i think is happening is that it isn't worth it to hire and train more people to make content for something that doesn't bring in money. and we could argue about how pvp and gambit being healthy is good for the game, how that would bring in more people or make people play and pay more, yadda yadda, but i don't believe the decision makers at bungie believe this and they might have good reasons, so what can be done? nothing, i guess. it's not like i know better than them.

so, on one side, i understand why people might be a bit miffed at the game. it feels like a cash grab. it feels like is trapping you into playing. however, i believe you are still responsible for your actions and perfectly capable of not playing if you are not enjoying it. i wish the destiny subreddit would take a chill pill and touch grass bc those people are not okay right now. but i think it's disingenuous to act as if the game isn't ridiculously greedy. because it is. this game is greedier than league and league is super greedy already (and league actually is free to play, unlike destiny).

raging at the devs will not change this. harassing the devs won't change this. they are not the ones making these decisions, especially the devs you find on social media going about their day and taking care of their lives, which are none of our business.

in the end, you kinda have to make peace with destiny-the-product or you will have a miserable time playing destiny-the-game.

i've made my peace with it. i engage with the content that brings me joy and ignore everything else. and look, the state of the game wasn't all bad. it was actually fine overall. i still find it weird that it doesn't address the real issues people had with the season (deep dives doing triple duty as simple deep dives, exotic quest and catalyst hunting was the big oof of the season for me, honestly. sometimes i just want to do a deep dive and not get roped into whatever else is going on - or the opposite, i guess. i still havent gotten the catalyst) but i gotta believe they will take the feedback when making the next seasons/expansions.

and they are finally getting rid of the ridiculous nonsense that is acquiring stasis. right after i managed to drag all my characters through all of that, sure, but at least now i can finally delete my awoken titan and make an exo one because i won't have to go through it all again. and they teased changes to the seasonal model or at least how seasons work. i'm pretty okay with what we have now, honestly. if anything i just wish the story stuff wasn't so... short. there was also something about making sure new players are caught up and that made me perk up because, please, bungie. i'm trying so hard to get my brother into this game. help me out. please.

and, the most important thing for me, final shape will conclude the saga, no seasons necessary!

just that made the whole state of the game post worth it for me. once again, my condolences to pvp players and i will mourn you, gambit, but i'm here for vibes and the lore and story, and 10 years of league of legends made me immune to shiny things on the store and 2 years of ffxiv made me too lazy to be tempted by timegated stuff. you can not kill my joy in any way that matters @ bungie's executives

the one thing i wish bungie would change (since i believe the game is too deep into microtransactions to ever be free of it) is how they communicate with players. it's not even the frequency (we have twids, as the name says, every week after all) it's just... the tone. i don't want them to give a piece of their mind to the insane people frothing at the mouth on reddit and twitter and youtube, but it's like they are speaking to an imaginary player and the (normal, well-adjusted) players are speaking to an imaginary bungie. we are not in the same wavelength at all. riot and rioters speak more to league players. of all companies out there, out of all communities out there, and riot does it better.

i understand keeping the devs safe, especially after the clusterfuck that happened recently. but it's still weird that bad actors are the deciding factor when engaging with the community. i don't know what the solution is but it does feel pretty bad overall. and its hard to take bungie seriously when most stuff they spit out is riddled with corporate speak. very little of it feels genuine.

again, i love the game. i love the characters. i love the universe and i love how queer friendly it is. ive spent the last weeks soloing dungeons and having an absolute blast, even if spire is kicking my ass really hard right now. getting the new exotic felt magical. and i've spent an ungodly amount of time theorizing about final shape and reading, watching and writing about this game. getting new veil containment stuff every week and theorizing with the community is really fun. i got the first book of the destiny anthology and i love it so much. hell, the game got me to write fanfic and only two pieces of media actually managed that (pretty easy to guess the other one at this point). i love my time here. i'm not leaving unless the story takes a nosedive of epic proportions and no, i don't think lightfall is as bad as people say. in fact, it's the second best expansion and i will fight you on that.

but destiny is not a good product, not by a long shot.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Ok. ok ok ok I know youre having fun with Elden ring, and youve probably moved on from the Ley Line Au But Hear me out! Ive been chewing on it for a bit.

So! Three main things that just feel off to me in the au. 1. Giratina is the only primordial god without a magic branch (Which I Know They are anti magic but HEAR ME OUT!) 2. The Twin Dragons are the Light (They just dont feel like Primordial Gods ya'know?) . 3. Giratina still has no motive.

I!!! have connected the dots!!! It always rubbed me a bit when we talked about the dead god and the twin dragons. The Twin dragons are not really death connected. I just realized, we have a perfectly good ghost dragon Right there! Giratina!

So let me set the stage! The Three Primordial Children of the One. At the One's command they became The Fonts of Magic from which the world sprung forth. Then, an unimaginable time later, the Light tore its god to shreads. The God is dead. What is left from the smoldering remains of Light and Magic is a Lack. A Hole from which no light comes and no magic resides. Magic follows waters rules and tries to fill a hole which cannot be filled. In which the Starving, Writhing thing that was Once Light was banished by The One bc It was now a Danger to the world it created. (It is starving Its mind is in disarray WHERE IS ITS LIGHT.) The Magic it brought forth is now destabilized. Which as one of the forces stabilizing space time and the world is a big uh oh. So One Minor Dragon God seized the light as it thrashed and tore the world in a despite bid to keep its people safe. Unlike the Original Light whom was shredded until nothing but a shade remained, the Dragon God was only torn in twane. (Whether its because the light mages (Maybe Celestica? they have light theme right?) stopped in shock or divine retribution has claimed them Idk.)

But the tearing stabilized the light bc It created a dichotomy. Light was no longer JUST light. Its the swing of light to dark. the Truth to the Ideal. The gods original thing merged kinda with the Light. Maybe the Twin gods were gods of Wishes or Maybe Human Perspective idk. But It was important bc Now the Original God of Light is now Darkness. And the Allowance of Darkness in the Light Magic kinda keeps it from folding like a house of cards.

Light Magic tends to the rule of two. Or Give and Take. Depends on the user and the intent. Which makes it Very Dangerous. The Twin Gods try their best but the Light Magic is scarred and volatile. Light users tend to play by the rule of two bc Its generally the more safe of the rules to play by. Two Mages or One who Gives so they can Take. (the appearance of a LONE ridiculously powerful Light Mage Could be very alarming, what could they give to take that much magic. (where is the other one) and Irida has to safe.)

Which Gives Giratina a motive! or maybe a motive for Arceus to stop them. I imagine being killed is very disorenting and not very conductive to being rational non rampaging gods who have yet to realize what it has become. Maybe at the events of the plot it has chilled enough to be reasoned with to Not Eat all the Light Magic and kill everyone (Kinda. it IS a primordial god. ) Tho with Volo maybe trying to control it or maybe enabling it and giving it awful ideas we might need to deal with him first. (If we go with the Idea that Celestica killed Giratina and thats why they're dead, then Volo trying to control the god that their ancestors failed to would be a better motivation than just bc yeah?)

Sorry I just had to get it out here. <3 Have fun with Elden Ring

oh anon i have never moved on from a thing in my life and i am SO INTO THIS.

the one thing i take issue with tho is the sidelining of the twin dragons to being minor deities, bc having a minor deity jump on the ruins of a primal force feels kind of left-field, and to me the concept of there being gods who entirely, by definition, rule the domain of human thought and desire—and pokemon gods, animal gods that can be leashed and controlled—is a concept that fucks so hard and i can't see it as being anything other than deeply fundamental to the universe itself. so can i play with your premise a lil bit

bc i think—and idr how much of this ive talked abt before—BUT i think in pokemon CANON, giratina is also kind of a god's corpse moreso than it is a god in itself. by which i mean to say, giratina was the original holder of spirit, not the lake trio—but having the whole force of spirit contained in one mind was too much for it, and arceus had to take it away and reform it into three separate beings, leaving giratina a banished and abandoned shell. which actually dovetails so neatly into this, just instead of being doomed by its creation, giratina was killed by its mages instead.

so like. light to dark to antimagic to spirit. this feels like such a closed loop. like, it's always kind of fascinated me how the lake and tao legends feel so conceptually linked—truth and ideals vs. willpower emotion and knowledge, like you can see how they're distinct concepts if you squint but intuitively it feels like there should be a lot of overlap. SO. do you see where i'm going with this. i've already said that light is like, the fundamental force that is the contract law of the universe—which fits so neatly with the lake trio's red chain of spirit and the way it can control even palkia and dialga and repair the very fabric of reality. cogita even suggests that it "lets one see reality as it truly is."

i also take umbrage with the idea that resh/zek don't have a death link bc to me they are the products of a death. the original dragon died, and they're the leftovers of its power, with kyurem being the body. ...but kyurem also hasn't played much of a role at all in this so far. has it.

so maybe reshiram and zekrom weren't a separate god that stepped in to fill the void. light has always been the same thing as spirit, two words for the same fundamental domain—fitting so neatly with the concept of facets and angles we've had going so far—and resh and zek are the shards of giratina's corpse. fundamentally disunified and out of balance, two opposing pieces of a god trying to fill the role of a single one. meanwhile giratina persists, but now having been completely gutted, the fundamental piece of its heart where its magic should live permanently gutted and bleeding darkness.

is this tracking?? idc i'm rolling with this now anyway. it fucks to me. anyway i'm also so into the idea that it was celestic who originally killed giratina, bc those mages have been kind of faceless until now but i think it also gives ingo such a fascinating personal stake in this whole quest in a way even irida and adaman don't have. like, he inherited their bloodied hands. he knows more intimately than anyone what the force of light is like now, lacking a true deity. that is fascinating to me.

also wouldn't that legally make volo another light mage?? but like, an Old Light Mage. one of the few who still adhere to the way it used to function, before the killing. bc like, i don't think this has made it into a post yet but i do think those are very different things. light magic is a completely different ballgame nowadays. goddammit yet again volo and emmet have taken up narratively opposed and symmetric positions. why do they do this EVERY time.

[deutoplasmic]

MAME LMAOOOO hes gunna be like “oh my god theyre alone in the bedroom what are they doing” then he hears angry yelling turns out takeru just red shell’d you in mario kart right before the finish line and now youre at his throat (he kisses you as an apology BUT MAME DOESNT NEED TO KNOW THAT!!!!)

AAAAA HOPELESS ROMANTIC FENGFAN,,, oh my god imagine that pumpkaboo is like. the smallest size. and you nickname him 小凡 because his face is exactly like fengfan’s when he pouts ☹️ and fengfan cant even feel mad that hes being teased BECAUSE HES ACTIVELY TRYING TO STOP HIS BRAIN FROM MAKING WEDDING PLANS LIKE WDYM YOU NAMED HIM AFTER ME-

LMAOO RUKI BEING A DORK AND HIS MEOWTH TRYING TO HELP,,, you glance over at his rapidash making heart shaped hoof marks in the grass for your rapidash. and you realize. you and your rapidash both seem to like losers

CRAFTY AYANE IM GUNNA CRY THATS ADORABLE 🥺 HER AND HER AMBIPOM AND SMEARGLE ALWAYS AT WORK MAKING AWESOME NEW STUFF FOR EVERYONE and omg i can picture the jars already. they have a little tag for his brand and a teddiursa charm HFNFHFNFHD

LMAOLDJDKD yea junki and ayuta are definitely the types to have an encounter with some otherwordly pokemon like. you show junki an ultra beast and hes like “oh yea i think ive seen that one before flying past my house!!” and youre like WHAT

KYO’S LOVE LANGUAGE IS FOOD FRRRR LIKE YOU WANT A CASTELLIACONE?? WELL GUESS WHAT I KNOW SOMEONE WITH SOME and omg frigibax and bergmite beef,,, literally will be fully evolved and still gnawing at each other

LMAO SHO WOULD JUST SMILE LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN HE SEES THE GIRL HE LIKES PLS he like. devolves into himbo mode its adorable and he gets so giggly and you dont even realize its because of you!!!

AN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT MINUN YOURE SO RIGHT and omg i can already imagine her gym like its a repurposed factory and the obstacles add to the battle,,,

LMAOKFJDJD mechanic hiroto all grimed up tho,, but yes takumi is absolutely. lost. like hes just happy to be here following you around like a puppy

AUDINO KOSHIN WOULD BE ADORABLE OMG he would also love a jumpluff that he got from sho i think

LOOOOOL mame and jin are literally the epitome of the we're so back/it's so over meme... they're just hoping for a permanent win. but maybe they'll have to wait another century of you two (just takeru) flirting around .......

that would be so perfect LMAO he's been more out of it recently so you're like fengfan what's going on and he's like uhhh um what'd you say now and you're like ok............ he's up to smth

not the juxtaposition between you two and your pokemon horses LOOOOOL they truly do take after their trainer.... except i think ruki is less courageous than his own pokemon 🤣

YES OMG they have an art studio and she's determined to master the art of pottery.... maybe she'll go over to ran's gym and see if she can spare any metal...... probably loves upcycling stuff into cool things........ AND AHH!!!!!! YOURE SO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! the imagery is crazy

omg you're like omg kartana is so cool and he's like wait huh what is a kartana and you show him. and he's like. WAIT i've SEEN one flying outside before!!!!!!!! truly a junki moment

it is totally beyond you how so many people he knows LOL if he wants to keep things warm he's got like a darumaka friend so your food options are truly unlimited....... and yeah LOL they'll constantly be trying to intimidate each other

oh yeah you have no idea whatsoever. you kinda just assume sho's a kind of shy guy and don't think too much about it but . its only around you apparently according to like your friend shosei but who knows.....

YEHA OMG her gym badge is made of a bunch of shiny bronze cogs with a red crystal inside the colour of her scizor........

YOURE SO RIGHT sho's backyard probably has an endemic of skiploom so he's like hey you can absolutely catch one if you want and koshin's like. well. if you do say so then

[kimiehashobbies]

Hey ladybugs,

Im going to hopefully give you more insights into me. So i wanted this to be a personal post. I've tried to keep this pretty tame but I do mention my eating disorder. I just want you to know that once you start focusing on yourself things will get better. Follow your heart if you read nothing else. Here's a tiny piece of my story below.

Dont let people project things they dislike about themselves on you. This seems to happen to me a lot. All my life I've literally been told that i couldnt do anything at all that I wanted to do. I let others put limitations on me because they themselves never felt they could do anything they wanted. Is that ok to you?

I wanted to do ballet, told I was too fat. I developed an eating disorder. I wore baggy clothes in middle school because I even had teachers tell me my chest was too big to wear fitted clothing. Honestly, I wasnt fat but I went through puberty early. I was just curvy. I am fat now because of how I've dealt with my depression via food. I struggled with anorexia in my teens then binge eating in my 20s. My highest weight was 218. I havent gotten bigger than 187 in recent years. My goodness if I didnt want to be tall and slender. I envied people who were model thin and had small chests. My fitness journey has become so important to me because I just want to look the way I want to look. I want to be 127 and im ok with the fact I wont have a small chest or slender figure. Its ok that I dont have a slender ballerina body. I spent too much time hating my hourglass shape. It was never anything to hate its just how im built. All bodies are beautiful. I realized I can still take adult ballet lessons. I want lessons so that my lines look good when I start Lyra Hoop. This is what I decided to do to fix this childhood wound. Im going to be ok.

I wanted to do acting was told its not a real job or goal to aspire. It was something I had natural ability, to become a different person. I got lead roles in school plays I was even told by official judges in competition I was a natural. Honestly, I realized I played a role all my life. I've played someone that wasn't me. Probably why I latched on so hard to acting in plays. It was easy for me because being anyone but myself was more bearable. Im not playing anymore roles to escape being me. Im stepping firmly into myself in my 30s. I can only be me. Im ok with this too.

I wanted to finally move to a different state was told stay here because it was no way I could make it without "support". The truth is no one ever supported me here (except my husband, he's always loved me even though I always see myself as too broken). Something just always felt wrong with me. I became more isolated the more profound my depression became. The lower my self esteem became the more I distance myself from connection. No one ever got to know me anyway. How could they when I never knew myself? All thats changing because Im firm in knowing who i want to be. Im not there yet, but (but, but, but) I see so clearly what I want for myself. I definitely know through all this struggle who I am not. Totally ok with this.

I was never a lead character in my own life. I was 28 when I realized I chipped away at parts of myself to please others (or my perceptions of what others wanted from me). Screw that, I'll do everything that my heart desires. Im turning 33 this year and I want to live my life for me. Doing what everyone always wanted never worked out for me. I gotta do what feels ok to me. This is all ok.

If this resonates, you can do anything you want to do. Never let people chip away parts of you. You're good enough. Im sorta a late bloomer but I feel great about my 30s. Life is for living so I must be active in my pursuit from now on. As long as you're living its never too late to do what you want to do. "Dont let your dreams be dreams."

🐞🫶🏾 Kimie

[badedramay]

Yooooo I will forever be bitter over what Rabia pulled with PSM. She schmoozed all over Maya on social media, but also trashed the character of rakhshi all the time on her own social media. Like I get that Rakhshi *was* probably Maya’s weakest role and it totally translates to what you said earlier about Maya choosing based on her personal life — that’s on Maya for going for that script. But man Rabia turned out to be a little bit of a snake. She didn’t have to crap on the character Maya played and then be all nice to Maya on Instagram to get clout. I’m so glad Maya seems to have realized that early on and I’m not even sure Maya still follows Rabia on ig anymore.

You are absolutely correct in that Maya loves — not a typo — in the present. She doesn’t think about her past much from what I can glean from following her for nearly ten years or so. She makes friends quickly and they become her life and she also loses friends easily. The obvious problem with that is she’s blinded by her current friends’ love and doesn’t see their flaws or if they’re using her. I know you know all this. Just sort of thinking aloud for myself.

But anyway I’m so glad she gave us JBG. It didn’t bring the TRPs but it gave her critical acclaim. I have high hopes for Asmaan Boley Ga (btw RIP to Emaad’s son 🙏🏽) given the production behind it, and suddenly everyone loves yunhi now because it’s not TB. Our girl will be ok, but can totally sense your frustration with her at times to just branch out and see more. Work with more. Agghhhbhhhhhhhhhdhdhhbbh.

sometimes I kinda wish Maya would realize things earlier on considering how many times this has happened to her. but I guess that's just who she is as a person. she's just that open&honest to always wish for the best with any new person she meets. you are so right about her always loving in the present. the thing with that is that she gets SO caught up in the present that even with people that she still has a good relationship with, you get the sense that she's completely over them and that just feels a little bit...dismissive of their good times together at times. i know as human beings we cannot always carry ALL our friends with us all the time and our nature propels us to make new relationships when life pulls us in new directions but idk..it's just weird how she fully erases the past. or maybe it's just me thinking of it this way cuz I want her to still keep up some of her older bonds that have been a huge deal in the past because they are indicative of the happier times? a lot of my feelings are so incredibly personal here when i discuss Maya that i really dont know how to make proper distinctions. damn i need therapy.

the news of Emmad's son was so sudden and sad. i can't even imagine what the family must be going through :( omg the recent TB trend reminded me of the pre Yunhi interviews where Maya talked about actors have a responsibility to read the scripts and if they aren't doing so that's on them like she KNEWWWW what was gonna happen. made me go back to watch the videos and the comments are all, as we know, shitting on her cuz she was "offended" by the "critics". 3 months later and the depth of her baatein is all out for all to see. like...i fucking love how Karma serves like this!!!

[graciousmaximus]

literally just yapping under the cut. like. the yappiest yapfest to ever yap. this is the worlds most adhd train of thought essay to ever adhd. there is no follow through anywhere there is no conclusion this is worlds worst essay. hod has no reason to be here (she has EVERY reason to be here [but also no reason i just like bring her up out of nowhere]) i cannot stress enough that this sucks bad, i am just really sleepy and i want to yell about the character. ok have fun

like. i know its probably partially projecting but it's also kind of a character-analysis occam's razor, because a majority of the things that he does can boil down to emotional dysregulation, black and white thinking, and/or fear of people leaving him (though i think he's less worried about a conscious abandonment ie rejection from others, but rather people he cares about getting hurt if not killed, a more "classic" separation anxiety rather than smth akin to RSD)

seriously the game would not have happened if this man did not have a strict "if you do a bad thing you are bad *unless you are perfect" moral code. his entire inner conflict about taking responsibility is because this is his idea of morality, and he cant stand the idea that he must be a bad person. he's like hod i love hod btw i could go on forever about hod. for a while i was like "hm i wonder why kether floor and hod floor music sound so similar" and like this line of thought genuinely made me realize it's that they just crumble under the idea that they might be a bad person. did you ever realize that hod was the first person in the entire game to criticize "that's that and this is this" like. dude their relationship in the game is so fucking good. sorry im getting sidetrakced by hod who is my actual favorite character in lobcorp/ruina. roland is my blorbo but hod is my actual #1 i could never babygirlify blorbopost about her i take her soso seriously compared to roland

anyways unlike hod roland like actively tries to ignore it. hod tries to obsessive-compusively (dont get me started on hod ocd im getting sidetracked again) fix it until she causes more mess than she started but roland just tries to sweep it under the rug even until it literally kills him

id ont know where im going with this. oh yeah also the fact that he just revolves his entire life and identity and emotional state around this one person. sounds awfully familiar doesnt it (it sounds like a favorite person [this man has bpd]). does nobody talk about how she literally hits him btw. like not in that initial meeting im sure that's well known but like she'll hit him til he agrees with him (chesed realization) oooh yeah baby im citing sources here.

this is a fucking TERRIBLE essay. i should go to bed. bye

been scared of blorboposting but ive been encouraged

shougt out to roladn library ruina for being worlds first fictional man with bpd

[furuyalover]

“you wanna see the minions movie?”

— ft. rintarou suna

includes: fem!reader & my lack of proofreading

AN: my first hq drabble & ofc it’s suna. but heres just a lil sum that i made in between matchups as a breath of fresh air i suppose. ANYWAYS i rlly wanna do more hq stuff so send me hq or just any requests in general here!

reading at the park, sounds great until you realize you hate reading! “hey whatcha reading?” a monotonous voice snaps you out of your thoughts. you look up to see who the voice belongs to only to realize, its your favorite deadpan setter rintarou suna.

you and suna were always pretty ok friends. not exactly besties, but you always talked to each other in class and even at lunch together a few times. that is, until you developed feelings for him. the way he can handle your joking insults and how he says some back himself, how talented he is in volleyball, and the way he looks at you, how could you not like him? though you told yourself whats the point? tons of other people adore him and he probably would like them better. so to protect your self & your feelings, you recently started avoiding him, plus only making small talk.

“why? its not like you read” “ouch. you’re so cold y/n. im hurt, truly.” you roll your eyes at his sarcastic remarks and go back to “reading.” “what are you doing here anyways? you dont really seem like a park-goer” “oh and you’re so outdoorsy rin” “im outside now aren’t i?” the setter retorts, flashing you his shit eating grin. “alright fair point i suppose.” you tell him the book you’re currently reading and also how much you hate reading, this leads to some nice but awkward small between you two. after a while its just awkward silence until suna asks “umm.. so.. i was wondering, why don’t you talk to me anymore?” acting dumb you say “huh? i talk to you all the time?” but of course he sees right through that “stop acting dumb. you know what im talking about” at this point you realize theres nothing you can do except tell the truth, and if he doesn’t like you back you’ll just run away!

so you confess, looking anywhere but suna’s face hoping this is some weird fever dream and you’re not actually here. suna, taken aback, has finally drummed up the courage to respond “so um… you wanna see the minions movie?” he managed to spit this out followed by an awkward chuckle. but you swear you see him turn beet red after you say “sure rin, that sounds like fun”

reblogs appreciated and admired ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

[sophieinwonderland]

Look im not here to insult you or anything, that would not get anything smart out of you and you would just say shits like "tulpa are valid yadayada" so here is a objective criticism.

Most of your post are ableist, referring to someone with a fucking trauma&dissociative disorder as less than someone thinking their imaginary friends are real is fucking ableist ok.

Idk if you think you are in the right or if you family made you feel important enough to not be called out for it, i dont care honestly, but what you are doing is ableist.

Im not Buddhist myself so idk if what you do is really racist, but multiple people that aren't of your ethnicity and some even Buddhist said "tulpa" as a term is cultural appropriation.

What i do know is that you are looking down on mentally ill people for you own gain, giving out false,old and debunked sources to individuals that expects a truth that doesn't exist, talking over people with did/osdd/udd that aren't part of this weird cult-like community, taking stuff that never was yours, breaking boundaries of MANY peoples and obliviously spreading misinformation, i dont care how you want to reply to this, and if you want to reply to this.

This isn't a delebate, im not asking uou to defend yourself, im just pointing out a toxic behavior, i suggest you get off the interned, and no not because you are dumb or smth, but because so many misinfo is harming a lot of people, bye.

"Talking over people with did that aren't part of this weird cult-like community."

I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was listening to the wrong kind of disabled trauma survivors. Thank you for informing me that those people don't count. /s 🙄

I genuinely don't know where you get the idea of ableism from. I might have sometimes used "disordered systems" to refer to DID/OSDD systems, but never in a pejorative manner. I don't think having a disorder or disability makes you lesser, whether the disorder is ASD like we have or DID. Never once have I looked down on someone for having DID or OSDD. We're disordered in our own way. Ours just isn't connected to our plurality.

Also, I don't know what out of date research you're talking about. Most of my sources on the studies page are more recent than the theory of structural dissociation.

Here is an objective criticism for you now:

And you talk about harmful and toxic behavior. But have you looked at your own community? Or, I should say, have you looked at ours? If you visit the endogenic tag at any given time, a good half of the recent posts will be anti-endos spreading hate and vitriol in our spaces. Compare that to the traumagenic tag where the rare occasion and endogenic system posts, it's usually a generic positivity post for all systems.

And it's not like it's an accident this happens. A recent post in the syscourse tag explicitly said they don't believe endogenic systems should have safe spaces. It's not uncommon to see hate posts made directly to endo safe or positivity posts.

But it's okay, they'll say, because they’re harassing the right people. So-called "ableists." Except if you listen, they'll turn around and claim many of these are probably just traumagenic systems "in denial."

Such great people these exclusionists are, bullying and abusing these trauma survivors into the right side or just off of these internet. If only the deluded trauma survivors could understand that the exclusionists are abusing them for their own good. /s

But it doesn't actually matter if the trauma survivors are in denial or not.

The greatest lie the exclusionists tell is that their actions are okay because endogenic systems are hurting DID/OSDD systems. They don't talk about talk about the DID/OSDD systems they hurt.

In the past few months since setting up this blog, I've accumulated more than 200 followers. Many are endogenic, but many are not.

One of the earliest asks I got was from a traumagenic system who was in a DID server. At one point, they were asked if they hated endogenic systems. They didn’t even know what endogenic systems were before that point. But because they didn't hate endogenic systems, they immediately found themselves harassed out of the community.

I've seen similar stories countless times. Maybe it's not even for supporting endos. In some cases, it's diagnosed DID system who, even though they suffered trauma, remember being plural before that trauma took place, and so they choose not to identify as traumagenic.

They still did suffer severe trauma as a child. They're still diagnosed with a disorder. But they're bullied and abused for how they choose to perceive their own disorder and trauma. Their own personal experiences are considered ableist.

Who protects these systems? These trauma survivors? It's clearly not you.

The truth that the exclusionists don't want you to hear is that they don't discriminate between endos and supporters and diagnosed DID systems who just don't fit into their boxes. They'll point with their right hand to the endogenic systems they'll accuse of being ableist so that you don't see the DID systems they're abusing with their left.

You say that I’m speaking over DID/OSDD systems, but I'm not. What I am doing is giving a voice to them. To the systems who have come to me that have faced bullying and abuse by exclusionists. The trauma survivors who don't participate in syscourse because they aren't in a good mental state and know that if they do, they will be abused over and over again, until they've been successfully bullied into silence.

Even in your ask, you already try to "other" them by referring to them as cult members. To you they're... hmm... is there a mental health equivalent of a "race traitor?" Doesn't matter. You get the idea.

And some of these systems have cult-related trauma. And why? Because they believe the scientific evidence of endogenic plurality as opposed to the zero evidence it doesn't exist?

People will say that it's not my problem. That I shouldn’t involve myself in DID/OSDD discussions because I don't have those disorders. But as long as there are DID/OSDD systems who come to this blog because exclusionists have made them feel unsafe existing in their own spaces, it is my problem.

And it's not just the endo and endo supporters who these exclusionists have been hurting. It's also their own supporters.

Not long ago, there was a popular post ordering people to stop using Simply Plural because some of its articles were from inclusive plural groups. When people pointed out that the app was completely free to use, included no ads (it's funded through patreon) and that there aren't better alternatives for DID/OSDD systems, the OP responded by telling them that the app was harmful to systems and using it or accepting it's existence at all was a form of support.

The implication being that if you continue to use this tool that helps your mental health, then you're hurting systems. This is almost like trying to manipulate people to stop taking antidepressants or antipsychotics to spite big pharma. And this wasn’t a minor thing. This post accumulated over a hundred notes, and many reblogs across anti endo blogs on this site. And you accuse endo supporters of being cult members while anti-endos are emotionally manipulating their followers to engage in harmful behaviors like this.

And on that note, while I have your attention, I want to say this to anyone in these circles: look out for yourselves. You might think these people are your friends. You might like the sense of community you get there. You might think you can trust them because of some shared commonalities. But anyone, anywhere, who would try to emotionally manipulate you into doing something hazardous to your mental health isn't a friend and doesn't care about you.

Whatever crusade they're convincing you to fight isn't worth sacrificing yourself or your health for.

And I would apply this same standard to myself as well. Anyone who feels that what I'm doing is harmful to their mental health can turn the other way and block me right now. I would rather lose followers than inadvertently cause someone harm.

Unlike the people who pushed their followers to stop using Simply Plural, I care more about the mental health of the systems following me than I do about pushing an agenda.

I'm not telling anyone to leave these communities. (Although frankly, all that hate is probably not very good for you either, but that's another topic.) Just, while their right hand is pointing at the people they want you to hate, pay close attention to what they're doing with their left to make sure the ones being manipulated and abused aren't yourselves.

Whatever side of this topic you're on, stay safe and take care of yourselves out there.

[theshy1sout]

Six Eared Shadow

Do you remember the analysis about Mei and Red Son? That was me, and I'm doing this again, but now about Macaque and Sun Wukong

Because what the heck why do they hate each other so much

Ok, so this... This is such a messy chaotic really chaotic mix of a few headcanons and theories I made up and it SOMEHOW turned into a fanfic that I wrote so long that other people made many similar things in meanwhile and now this sounds not original at all, but I wrote it not to keep it in my deep hidden shelf so here we go

(It's based on what I know from the lmk series. I've started to read JTTW, but I'm still not so far to get to know anything about Macaque, but I won't change anything about this theory from now on)

Let's gather some basic information for the start.

-> Macaque is made with a shadow or even he is a shadow (kinda shadow demon, the demon of shadow). I mean, shadow is not only his power, he literally is made with shadow matter. We know that because he can not only manipulate shadows but also go through walls and turn yourself into a shadow.

-> I'm not sure if someone made him or he just "poof" out of nowhere just like Sun Wukong, but according to the story he told about how close he and Monkey King used to be, there's no doubt they had some master/student relationship which later turned into almost equal partnership. What is said, Macaque followed Sun Wukong for a long time, learning a lot from him, 'being his shadow'. They grew in power together, fought together, and (as it is said) Macaque started casting as Sun Wukong shadow, which (surprisingly) looks like he did willingly. Just look at the picture - the shadow is big and bright, it’s powerful and smiling, proud of his strength. He doesn’t look like someone forced to be Sun Wukong’s shadow. It shows how much Macaque admired Monkey King, that he wasn't just a friend for him, he was his idol.

-> We all know Macaque is a shadow demon, he can easily change his appearance, he does not have to look like an evil clone of Monkey King, especially if he hates him now or something, SO even if he used to look up at Sun as his ex-student or ex-partner, and now we know he is NOT, he would prefer to not look so similar any more.

He can choose any other look, but he doesn't. Why? Well, maybe he actually cannot. Maybe this isn't an appearance he has specifically chosen, maybe this is his 'basic' comfy form and any other form would just take too much energy to keep up. And looking at the really tiny probability of two very similar monkeys just "poofing" out of nowhere, I dare to say, Macaque wasn't born (I mean like Sun Wukong or any other demon), but he was specifically created. And here is a question: on someone's purpose or not? Maybe the power of great Monkey King was so strong so the part of it just jumped from him and formed into another similar creature, but let me say it's just weird and I prefer the theory of Sun Wukong being so bored and lonely after his master's (Tripitaka) death, and he created a brother for himself from his own shadow. Just to have someone, anyone.

So Wukong created Macaque and then what? He trained him, he taught him everything he knew, maybe even he shared his powers with him. Some great great bonding time. But as Macaque said, something drew them apart. It is visible that Macaque blamed Monkey King for this, for 'forgetting him'. Before speculation of what happened then between them, let's focus on what Macaque showed us what he wants now.

We have two episodes, both show different sides of him. In season 1, Macaque's main goal is to steal Monkey King's power from Mk, and then to very specifically revenge. He visibly does not want to defeat Sun Wukong, he wants to hurt him as much as possible. Look: when Monkey King showed up, Macaque totally forgot about Mk. And then, when he's so close to defeat him, instead of that he turned to Mk and tried to kill the teenager. Mk is just a tool to hurt Sun Wukong.

And we can't forget how Macaque constantly pointed out all the weak sides of Sun, he's basically just saying on and on "you're weak, you're weak, you're so weak, I'm so strong, I'm strong, you are so weak". Which really fits the feeling of being forgotten because he was weaker and Monkey King was stronger, better, glorious and famous. Macaque really feels like that, he really tried to make Sun Wukong feel his pain by dominating him.

On the other hand, we see that Sun constantly striked off him. He said almost nothing to him, just "Aren't you bored of keep being in my shadow? It's time to give back what you've stolen" and that was fricking all. For Monkey King, Macaque is a just shadow, always behind him, something you turn around and leave behind to not see it and to forget, like an unwanted past. An unnecessary problem, that irritatingly keeps returning to him. He does not want to interact to not make even a slight more bond between them, he wants to delete him from his life forever, and omg WHY. At this end of the ep, Sun Wukong did not even mention Macaque. He really doesn't care at all (or extremely tries to not care). His HATE is almost touchable, ouch.

In season 2, Sun Wukong LEFT US ALL ALONE. Macaque showed up again, he played with Mk a bit, and... Left? That's the thing, you see, he doesn't need to hurt or kill Mk. All we see is Macaque talking about his past and then letting Mk experience something the 'hero' in the story should have felt. The guilt. When Mk interpreted his story differently, seeing himself as the warrior, Macaque corrected him. Cause he doesn't care about Mk at all. He heard how Mk told him about what hurt him, and here is a funny point, because if Macaque needs to be understood, listening to Mk and talking with him (such a simple act of empathy, they both needed it then, guh) should have been enough. Mk really felt the 'warrior' character in the story, so he understood what Macaque felt. But surprisingly, that was not what the demon carved.

Macaque chose to make Mk feel like Monkey King at the moment something drew the demons apart. He wanted to force Mk to be sorry, to apologize, to regret his mistakes, cause he failed with forcing Monkey King to feel that. But! Maybe he is not as purely innocent and poorly forlorn. We see the flashback for a half of second before Mk hit him with Staff:

We see Sun Wukong attacking Macaque who's in his demon (true) form.

Let's repeat this: Macaque felt as if a friend left him in the past. He said a friend did this to have all the "hero's glory" for themselves. We know Sun Wukong could do such a thing, especially before he met Tripitaka, but 1. In my theory Macaque is created after Tripitaka's death and 2. If (as my theory said) Sun created Macaque to not feel so lonely, he would never leave him for such a thing. So Macaque hides something for sure, something he did, something so terrible that made Sun Wukong attack him and not want to know him anymore. How horrendous thing Macaque did that made Sun Wukong choose to be alone again and to forget his dear brother he created by himself?

Back to the great bonding time, repeating speculation of "oh maybe they even share the powers" and comparing it to Macaque wanting to steal Mk's power, my theory here is saying:

Sun Wukong taught Macaque the technique of the same powers as he knew, but Macaque overused it (probably wanting to see how powerful he is, probably showing off and killing so many harmless people) doing terrible terrible things. So Monkey King took all of the powers from him and left him alone, powerless, with the last painful words: "Dont you dare to show in front of my eyes ever again". Of course Macaque was hurt, of course he didn't see why he's the bad guy, because he did not care about people at all. And of course Sun Wukong was hurt too.

Maybe he came back to the village Macaque had destroyed and following a quiet crying he found a little baby with a heart so clear and he put into him all Macaque's powers, making them sleep until the time will be right... But back to the series!

Yes exactly. Why did he destroy the lantern and leave? Why did he suddenly lose interest in teasing Mk and stop forcing him to feel guilty?

First thing, he saw Mk is ready to fight for his friends seriously. He still cared so much about them, not like Monkey King about Macaque. That was hard to swallow, that was hard to watch for the demon. That was't the thing he wanted to see. And second, the flashback. Maybe the sudden realization that he actually did something bad. Cause Sun Wukong didn’t just leave him, he cast him out. It was hard to admit that he actually deserved this (or maybe much more), it’s much easier to blame others, not yourself. So Macaque felt “that’s enough” and left. Mk brought him to this uncomfortable point of admitting the truth. Which he didn’t want to. Maybe in the following eps, he will see it, but now Macaque just isn’t ready yet. But the last talk with Mk gives me a little hope. He stopped treating him like a tool or toy, he was actually talking with him like with a person, he even warned him about Lady Bone Demon.

Maybe (maybe) one day he'll see that humans aren't just useless creatures he can carelessly kill, maybe Mk will make him care and realize what he's done, but that's just speculation in speculation, he could die before he reaches that point, maybe he is already dead....

And that's it. That is all I wrote on ao3, but in the fanfic I put much more details and I build those characters up much more than here. This is only rough rough short-saying, I'm really sorry if you read it all

Oh and here is a link if you liked this above i'd love if you read the fanfic thank you