#ok im tagging this properly now

[800db-cloud]

spare some spy hcs? 👀

OKAY. ok. so i have been putting off answering this ask because i’m admittedly very shy and very afraid of sharing my headcanons. and also because i have A LOT OF THEM.. but here we are!

here are my headcanon spies :) René works for RED and Jacques works for BLU!

where to start, where to start… i have a LOT of headcanons for them, i’ll be talking for FOREVER here. i’ll just start with story because why not! xP

René’s parents were also agents/spies, so he was always destined to be one as well. And he lives up to his parents’ legacies! He’s most notorious for destroying gangs and mobs and the like from the outside in. He was brought to America years ago to take out a dangerous mob boss, but unfortunately found himself infatuated (and involved) with the boss’ daughter. Luckily for him, the boss’ daughter wanted the guy dead, too.

René’s story is honestly a lot more fleshed out than Jacques’, but here goes anyway:

Jacques’ father was a very rich and powerful man in politics. Jacques himself was the result of an affair, and to keep it hush-hush, his father decided to raise him. Raise is a strong word, though— but he did help his father gain intelligence and blackmail on opposing political parties. Jacques proved to be a promising spy since childhood.

If anyone has any suggestions/ideas for Jacques’ story, let me know haha x) he didn’t have the greatest upbringing per se…

last thing on this section i wanna talk about is the Scouts. René is related to both of the Scouts; he’s RED Scout (Jeremy)’s biological father, and he’s BLU Scout (James)’ adoptive/step-father. Jacques has no relation to either scout, but acts as a guardian figure to BLU Scout.

anyway, this is the part where i continue talking about other miscellaneous headcanons! and these come with doodles :)

You couldn’t catch René DEAD without his mask, or his suit! He’d neeever take them off around other people (‘other people’ is mainly just Scout. For obvious reasons.) Meanwhile, Jacques is pretty lenient in letting his teammates see his face! Everyone on BLU’s seen his face at least once.

A big part of why René refuses to strip down is also due to the fact he has a LOT of tattoos. No doodle for this one because I’ve yet to decide on what tattoos to put on him (ideas are very welcome!!), but yeah! Most of the tattoos were ‘forced’ onto him/he had to get for jobs and ‘fitting in’ with bad crowds, but a good few of them were of his own accord, too.

Jacques doesn’t have tattoos, but he has a myriad of another thing: scars! Lots and lots of scars on this guy. Faded and old, sure, but they’re there. Most prominent ones are the one around his neck (from when the RED Medic beheaded him) and the ones on his forearms (those are from the LAST time he was imprisoned— looong story…)

René doesn’t cook very often for his team, but when he does, everyone’s always BLOWN AWAY by this guy’s cooking! René’s really bad at taking compliments, though— (“Cooking food that’s remotely edible isn’t a compliment, it’s basic survival.”) —but rest assured he’ll be thinking about it for the next month. Jacques, however… Do NOT let this guy into the kitchen. Ever. The BLU base has a special fire extinguisher “In Case Spy Decides To Turn On The Stove”

oooh, this one is an hc and a HALF to me. René much prefers working alone. It’s just in his nature, being isolated and whatnot. He likes to deal with things by himself– maybe he doesn’t want to burden others? On the contrary, Jacques NEVER works alone. It’s a trait he’s had even before being hired to BLU. You never know when things could go wrong, so it’s best to have someone else to fall back to… or someone else you can blame!

these hcs both have something to do with how René and Jacques show their trust in other people :) it’s a bit convoluted but it gets there:

René is, amusingly, very bad at remembering names. Almost laughably bad. There have been many-a-story of his days before RED where he’d get a target’s name wrong, even after he’d repeated it in his head dozens of times over. Names are difficult for him, so if he remembers yours, it means you mean a lot to him! He prefers using his teammates’ names rather than their titles. René is unaware of how charming this specifc trait is to his coworkers (they saw how much work and effort it took for him to memorize their names, they’re just happy with how far he’s come!)

Jacques has a… to put simply, very complicated relationship with food. But the one thing he’ll never turn down is sweets. His favorites especially being chocolate bonbons. Jacques has a hard time eating in front of others, let alone sharing his food! But if he genuinely likes and trusts you enough, he’d have half the mind to share with you. Admittedly, he hasn’t brought himself to share with most of the members of his team yet, except for a select few. Mostly BLU Medic and BLU Sniper.

—

and of course, eventually, EVENTUALLY, these two also become friends! it took a little bit but believe me, they both respect each other’s skill in their job :)

AHHg i could go sooo much longer about them— from things like their physical traits (how much teeth they have? it’s a pressing question) or different periods of their life (why did rené have to leave his family? why was jacques imprisoned for the last time?) BUT this post is so… so, so long. My fingers hurt from typing

If you’ve managed to read through this Beast, THANK YOU RAAHH!!! thanks so much for asking this, too. i hope to spare more hcs someday. hehe ^_^

[isawjamfirst]

did u think i was done with uncanny vash

[shaadowmilkcookie]

class doodle… i want to see snapdragon kill people

[acekindaneat]

redraw of Holly Warburton's work

[version with no text below cut]

[mandiemegatron]

Okay but, Law angst based on "when I was your man" by Bruno mars

I can't handle the pain you enjoy putting me in😭😭😭😭😭😭

👀 you're not wrong though.

How about a taste of that? 😈

This is NOT part of an official part two for (you make me do) too much labour, but if you want to believe that it is, then go for it bc I am not sure if or when I'll get to writing it.

Enjoy, my lovely lil tangerines !!! I love you sm !!! 🤭💖💋

Written while listening to When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars.

It was like being punched in the gut.

With a knife.

That was on fire.

He hadn't even been looking for you this time, having been entirely focused on actually refueling the ship and making sure every crew member came back with what they were supposed to.

Shaking fingers held the clipboard that marked down the wares that came onto the ship. He'd first heard that ugly, unruly laughter from a certain redheaded, knowing that Eustass Kid must have also been refueling at the same port.

He lazily looked around and spotted him, not fifty feet away. He was talking to his masked crew mate, Law vaguely remembers his name is Killer, ironically enough, and goes back to his clipboard.

Law idly wondered if Eustass was following him.

But how?

He had no way of knowing which way the Heart Pirates were going next, unless-

Law froze in his spot when he heard another familiar laugh, and he couldn't fight the way his body immediately went into an anxious state, his wide eyes watching in utter shock as you came out from beside Kid's massive form.

His eye twitched as Kid leaned down and pulled you into a kiss, resentment and fury clinging to his entire body at the audacity you and Kid held.

In that instance, everything fell into place for Law. Why he was suddenly always seeing Kid's ugly ship show its face everytime Law docked somewhere, why he felt like Kid was chasing him or following him -

It was you.

This whole time... it had been you.

"Boss! Did you see-"

"I saw."

Shachi and Penguin flinched at the venom dripping from Law's mouth, watching with worried expressions as their Captian burned holes into the back of your head.

For the first time in months, since you'd ran off from the Tang, you slowly turned and froze with wide eyes as you took in your ex-captain. You'd recognize that stupid, spotted hat anywhere.

Your gaze stuck with his, almost as if something was trying to pull you together. You could feel the anger, the sadness and the rage that fell off Law like a bitter waterfall, covering the entirety of your senses in a thick sludge.

It'd been the first time in months that you'd seen him.

You hated the way your heart ached to go to him.

"... Oi."

You broke your gaze from Law to stare back up at Kid, a set frown etched into his lipsticked mouth. There was uncertainty in his eyes as he nearly snarled out,

"... You're mine now. He can't have you back."

You flashed your lover a warm, loving grin and clung to him, holding his slightly larger face in your hands as you replied,

"I'm yours. I'm not going anywhere."

Kid's eyes softened slightly before he glared darkly at Law, the other captain suddenly standing a little taller at the challenge. They glared each other down until Kid looked away as you tugged on his opened shirt.

"Come on, let get out of here," you murmured, desperate to get away from this uncomfortable and fucked up situation.

You jumped slightly when Killer placed a warm, heavy hand on your shoulder, the other coming in front of you to give you a small bouquet of pretty weeds. A slight grin came over your face as you looked up at your masked lover and friend, the man giving you one in return that you couldn't see, but you knew was there.

He led you away by taking one of your hands into his, bringing the back of it up to his mask in a faux kiss as a sign of adoration, just as Eustass Kid turned back to Law, a wicked grin on his face as he mouthed something Law can't understand.

He points at Law, gives him the middle finger, then points at the sky before turning away with a loud cackle, following after his best friend and love.

Law then stiffens, knowing exactly what Kid meant.

"You... fucked... up."

Law turns away as Kid's loud voice echos over him, his heart gripped in a tight, metal hand as he hears Kid ask you,

"Apparently, they're throwin' a party here tonight... we gonna dance our asses off or what?!"

His heart breaks as he hears you reply happily,

"Ooh, you gunna take me dancing?! Thank you, baby!"

Law roughly slaps the clipboard into one of the crewmans stomachs, ignoring the over-exaggerated "Oof!" that Shachi gives. Law begins to turn, walking back towards the ship when Shachi suddenly calls out,

" ... How many times did she ask you to take her out?"

Law freezes in his spot, his eyes wide and dark as he stares down at his best friend and crewman.

"... what did you say...?"

"How many times... did she ask you to take her out? Or to bring her something that reminded you of her?"

Law's face contorts into one of raw fury, mouth snapping open to roar at Shachi's insolence when suddenly Ikkaku speaks up,

"All she wanted was you, Captain. And you made it clear that you didn't want her."

Law's head audibly snaps to the side, his dark gaze looming over Ikkaku as she continues,

"Just be happy for her. She's alive and clearly happier with them. Stop acting like the victim."

The anger and bitterness in Law grows as he snaps out,

"She's a traitor. She doesn't deserve to be happy with anyone!"

Ikkaku shouts back,

"Why?! Because she didn't want to keep having her heart broken by the man she loved?! Get OVER yourself!"

Law steps back slightly at her words, his chest heaving as pain and hurt take over the anger.

"I..."

Ikkaku cuts him off with a sharp, raised hand.

"You are not the victim here. Stop acting like your actions don't have consequences just because you're a pirate Captain."

Law falls silent, his face half covered by the wide rim of his hat. He hated that Ikkaku had a point, but he wouldn't tell her that.

"... make sure everyone gets back to the ship."

Shachi and Ikkaku give a tight salute, small frowns on both their faces as they watch their Captain walk back into the Tang.

They share a look with each other before going back to their duties, Shachi's shaded eyes watching you, Kid, and Killer until you were gone from his vision.

[calciferstims]

“you don’t know the first thing about piracy. it’s not about glory, it’s about belonging to something.”

– our flag means death (2022 - ?)

sources: 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 | ☠️🏴‍☠️☠️ | 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[radioroxx]

hmmmm mal du pays thoughts tonight

[its-coda]

My diabolical box experience

[jamiethebeeart]

:D (I ramble in my tags about this)

[luci-z-wont-shut-up]

To all my fellow Freaks and lovers of parasite body horror

I've seen sooooo many amazing artistic concepts for our little Carcosan hitchhikers, and several others beside for things like Kayne and Scratch, but I just got hit with an idea I don't *think* I've seen anyone do yet?

Ok so I've heard of cordyceps!Hastur

And y'all have probably seen a version or two of centipede!John

But for y'all who've read anything with Parker as the "Speak-No-Evil foil to Jarthur's See-No-Evil"

I raise you cymothoa!Yellow

[lizardlycrimes]

I just read your tags on your reblog (of the thing I stole your tags for 😅) and - you know the moment in the cartoon where Kash says "we were hoping Earth Wind and Fire here could assist" and everybody looks at Keyleth and Keyleth looks the other way first like "...oh you mean me??" That was 100% me ^^' I am HIGH KEY flattered, but also I'm very much "??!???!?" at the thought of anyone fangirling over me, of all people! whyyy (for real, though, really!?)

(also always SO SO GOOD to find someone else who fucking loves Scanlan 'Patented Disaster' Shorthalt, warts and all 💜)

I don't think I've gotten an ask before!!! This is exciting!!!

Also I love that scene in TLOVM so much I get what you mean by the whole "oh you mean me thing" sjshdjdn I'd probably be a lil shocked too but I'm genuinely am like. A big fan. Getting even this ask got me fangirling all over again!! I love your art so much and you have such an accurate way of portraying Scanlan it drives me nuts!! Both your design and characterization in comics and such just ahh!! Being able to say that's my boy!!! Is so exciting to me!!

It's so hard to find people who are decent about Scanlan it's insane though!! I've seen Scanlan be put through such hellish miss characterization and exclusion. Often times treated more like a thing than a person in my opinion. (Sam's characters as a whole I think are very slept on. Like even with big character reveals the only time I've seen fcg really be posted a LOT about was in relation to romance) on the rare occasion where I see someone who clearly appreciates Scanlan's complexities they basically get immediately engrained into my brain just like you have. Though with how much you've posted of him I think you're past simply engrained and just are part of my brain now.

Also warts and all is a funny way to put it while also being very accurate ajshsjsn but if I dive into that this post though I'd end out discovering what's the word limit on Tumblr 😅

[takethebodymarc]

i find it a bit silly when people come into the main tag and go IM LEAVING

[yappacadaver]

and it's like despite all the awful shit he's done and continues to do, like, i get it. he's employed like 24/7/365. he never got to live a life, despite spending a childhood clinging to the hope of having one someday. He knew companionship and love but lost it and can't ever get it back. His circumstances are so anomalous and gruesome that it completely isolates him from pretty much every other human being on the planet. he knows hell is real and he is basically guaranteed to go there if he can't break this demon curse thing.

like it doesn't make the kidnapping and spreading the curse around any better, but i do get it.

[orcelito]

It's a little funny. I spend so much time compartmentalizing that I convince myself I'm totally fine, of course, all the time.

But when I was filling out the questionnaire before my therapy appointment yesterday, it was like

.... OK yea maybe I have some problems

Also this one 😂😂😂

[emurice]

somethingsomething its april 1st and ill post this and never look at it again anyway: some ideas i have for some fandoms (dr stone, sakamoto days, fragaria memories) either romantic or not i think it works (reader/oc)

i think ryusui (dr stone) 'd go really well w someone that's into people's passion cuz hes, kinda like that too so theyd understand eachother very much. like sure francois shares the same view 'desire is noble' but i think its more close to greed (desires/ but also its p similar so idk where im going). so i guess what i'm trying to say is like they (ryusui/ reader) would be into each other AND other people you get what im saying power couple or smth (might think more abt it later)

also i always think abt when they went around the world imagine if the reader/oc was bilingual/polyglot theyd have a more distinct role(?)

and in the same vibes what abt shin (sakadays) w an S/O that knows more than 1 language. imagine him trying to read their mind and not understanding shit. ill admit i dont know much abt his powers (just started the anime - kind of) but i think this probably works right? right. i do think he'd try to learn whatever other languages his s/o knows tho

me thinks im starting to derail off the road but um

when kurode (fragaria memories) turns into an official knight/fragaria and reader/oc as 2nd in command (maybe inspired by nyanmi/baku or smth in between) the sillies and their adventures in kuromi kingdom or even before that like imagine in knight school

on another note kuromi is into handsome guys so imagine kurode too ww, imagine his s/o being so handsome its just love at first sight for him wwww

[kristiliqua]

[read this after reading the tags because fuck i hit the tag limit LMFAOO]

— and jason (n the bunch) definitely makes fun of him for it because holy shit you absolute tryhard (he copes and seethes every time tim manages to snipe his slow ass dynamo — which is basically every fucking time tim is there . he has to rush tim like a fucking madman in order to actually splat him , and then usually dies right after bc he rushed into their base , tunnelvisioning tim and tim only , as a fucking Dynamo . tldr he calls him a tryhard to cope)

(and do Not get me wrong ; its not as if jason’s a thoughtless or bad player [i hate ppl calling him a brute . like istg he’s smart too] . its just that dynamo vs charger is a horrible matchup for him , as the dynamo . he Does manage to get tim without rushing him sometimes , but he needs coordination with his team distracting tim or smth in order to get the advantage he needs , since theyre both equally skilled pretty much . but a 1v1 is just Hard in this matchup [said by a dynamo And charger main . trust me on this one LMAO] , and he usually just gets sniped in those situations — its either a trade or death for him most of the time . thats not a jason thing ; its a charger vs dynamo thing lol)

golly i’ve been talking abt this too long (esp abt tim and jason when tim is nowhere to be found in the og post LMFAO Uhm .! i just like them . jason n tim are my boys) . in fact im going to yap more bc i feel i havent given dami enough appreciation

jason would totally love rolling damian over while dami’s sharking him . he’d laugh in his face and clip it on his switch , before saving the clip on his phone or smth just in case damian attempts to delete it

see it as a punishment for trying to shark a dynamo as a splatana/octobrush instead of just ,,, outmaneuvering the dynamo . bc both splatana and octobrush have good enough range to easily take down a dynamo (he outmaneuvers a lot too ofc ; he just tests his luck sometimes by sharking around jason , wanting to surprise him lol)

they are a Unit on the same team tho . damian as the faster splatana/octobrush supporting jason’s slower dynamo/stamper (he’d play that too . def didnt start playing it bc it pairs rlly well with [damian’s] splatana ,, no siree ,,,) as they both kill the enemy team with terrifying efficiency . (i’d say they’d be extra good with tim making callouts in comms — bc ofc im still thinking abt tim too istg 😭 — but i also feel like neither of them would listen to him half of the time . and take joy in his misery whenever they lose , ignoring their own misery from losing in favor of making fun of tim and blaming each other for losing [like “if you hadnt died when they started pushing we could have defended successfully , todd !” / “oh MY BAD that i TRADED with their stupid quick-respawning motherfucker and couldnt paint under my feet to get away from their bomb because im a fucking DYNAMO —” (can you tell i definitely main dynamo and have experienced similar situations . WHY is it so FUCKING BAD at PAINTING UNDER YOUR FEET . MY GOD .)])

anyway holy shit thats it im done Fucking Hell . here’s your essay op ! i love the art . it has clearly stirred my love for batfam and splatoon (im sorry LMFAOAO)

is this too niche