#ok i'll stop now i've got a series to finish!!!!
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wrote the most heartbreaking dialogue at 2 am. let's hope i never find the wip again bc if i do- my eyes will fucking fall of for crying so much
#it's like a love triangle but confusing#something along the lines of 'you've broken up with him!!!! we can be together now' 'no i need time to find me first'#who should it be about i was thinking like kepa being the other guy but idk who should be the actual boyfriend#maybe mason? and kepa's like you know he doesn't deserve you!!!! you should be treated like a princess and he doesn't even look your way!!!#but he's like your highschool sweetheart you can't turn your back on him no one knows him better than you -thats what you think-#ok i'll stop now i've got a series to finish!!!!#lmk if you're interested tho might be the next thing i'll write 👀#*the 2099 wips i have to be finished looking at me like 😡 stop. you have to be stopped*#c talking about wips
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Birds of a feather
Warnings: minor SPOILERS from BNHA's ending, mentions of blood loss, major characters death
Genre: Angst Series: Boku No Hero Academia
Words' count: 1.27k Pairing: Takami Keigo × GN! Y/N
"I said I love you, don't act so surprised now!" you spat again, a blushing mess but keeping your head high watching the pro-hero Hawks go silent.
"Woah you broke him" Mirko—your soul friend—joked as she entered Hawks' office right when you confessed, staying for the chaos to ensue.
"You thought that all those times I said it it was a joke? Well, they weren't, so... do whatever you want with that now."
As you were about to leave for good, Keigo grabbed delicately your wrist, keeping you in your place—without further delay, with his other hand he cupped your cheek and kissed you on the lips.
It was hesitant and soft—so unlikely of him. Nonetheless, your stomach churned and your breathing stopped against your will, realizing his feelings for you.
Then a snap of a photograph was heard and you broke the kiss to look at Mirko. "Oh my god, this is going to be yall's wallpaper now."
"You're so full of shit, how'd you think I liked Endevour?!" you laughed in Keigo's face, the latter suddenly feeling even more embarrassed after all the events that have unfolded after he kissed you.
"I just thought it ok? You were always searching for a mission to go on with us and spoke mostly with him that I didn't think about it at all... just, felt sad about it," he pouted, carressing his cheek with his scarred hand awkwardly.
"Pfff well well, it's always been you, alright? It's just that I always got nervous around you..."
"How is it that you always manage to make me feel the most beautiful person in the world when you compliment me?" A genuine question you've come to ask yourself everyday when watching yourself in the mirror and remembering Takami's sweet words.
"Darling, what can I say, I'm such a charmer ain't I?" he teased—side hugging you and giving you a kiss on the cheek—making you blush for the uptenth time in the day.
His phone ringed.
He picked it up and his smile vanished, letting you know it was some work matter.
"Aww I wanted you to stay..." you whined, "I know chirp, I also wanted to but they say it's an urgent meeting with the boss".
"It's okay, be careful Kei".
"Kei! Keigo! Please wake up..." you begged carelessly at his hospital bed posterior to receiving a call from work yourself that let you know that Hawks had almost not made it out alive from his recent fight.
"Keigo, I love you, please... I don't wanna say goodbye, what happened to you? Ugh, I'm-I'm sorry, I.... really want you to wake up," you blabbered as tears poured out your eyes.
"Hey chirp," he barely managed to speak with a raspy voice, slowly dragging a hand to sit it at the top of your head.
"Keigo! Hey, how are you feeling?" he smiled weakly, "I've been better, thanks."
"Oh Keigo, I'm so sorry," "why are you apologizing? I'll get better, I promise".
"....I love you 'til the day that I die." You finished your vows with that.
Takami wore an appealing black suit and a smitten smile on the day of your wedding—being the happiest man on earth for getting to be your partner for the rest of your lives.
"We'll stay together...." he started his vows with—the rest will forever remain in the records that were taken of your special day.
"I'd like to raise a toast for my now pretty husband," "you're saying I wasn't pretty before?!" he feigned shock. "Yeah, that," you smirked playfully.
"Well this is to Takami Keigo—the man I've come to know for a good couple of years now and somehow stole my heart—I-I don't know what I'm crying for but-I don't think I could love you more, I'll love you 'til the light leaves my eyes." You stated glancing intently, with watery eyes towards Keigo, who stood wide-eyed but recovered with a lovely smile while everyone cheered in the background.
"Pro-hero Hawks, we've got an emergency regarding your partner's health." Were the first words he was greeted with when he picked up the phone after reading out 'Heroes Public Safety Commission' as the one calling.
He dropped the pan he was holding along the food he was cooking for when you arrived home. "What is it?!" He blurted out, picking right away his rushed and preoccupied tone to do not let his worriness be that obvious, as well as his jacket to sprint out of your shared home.
"They're currently in an encounter with the female villain named Himiko Toga—and as we're monitouring their vitals—we just saw things have escalated pretty far as they're about to die from the lack of blood." He took a moment to process everything. Himiko Toga? The one who seemed to get along with Bubaigawara? 'No, that can't be possible.'
"Get them out of the field now!" Keigo ordered or more like begged, terrible scenarios coming to his mind where he got his karma back.
But the Comission wouldn't be calling if they got everything under control... 'no, no no, this can't be happening.'
"We've tried our best to get more colleagues with them to no avail—there's more than ten villains in there right now." The monotone voice explained.
"Send me their location, now." He demanded, unbearable sensations traveling all the way from his wings to his heart and mind.
'Oh Kei, if only you could see how you look to me... you wouldn't have believed the compliments I threw your way when we were just colleagues.'
Your mind kept thinking that, as memories with your husband Takami replayed from the very start as you laid on the ground with a stab on your side and many deep cuts all around your body.
Until you felt your body taking in your last breath.
'How funny is it to not mind your breathing ever in your life until you know you're on your lasts?'
"To the microphone i'mmy suit—whoever's hearing'rig'now—tell Kei I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone." You spoke finally, slurred words giving away your condition after finishing with them.
Keigo had arrived late.
'How is it that I got to wake up but not you?!' was his first thought when getting to the bloody mess everything was left as after the fight.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry I couldn't be here with you." He grieved.
"I guess this means you don't love me anymore..." With that—the all-pink chapter ended and began a dark all-well-known, lonely era for the hero Hawks once more.
Years later, with Hawks retirement from the hero life and beginning of his work as the new Heroes Public Safety Commission's director, he noticed he's gotten slightly more time free as he so wished to for all heroes as his essencial mission as a hero himself.
He went to visit your grave—once a week he'd bring a new bouquet of your favorite flowers and once a month he'd clean it thoroughly.
And after so long, he saw a pair of eyes he never expected to ever again.
They were a replica of you—same hair, same eyes, hell he could swear you smelled the same—but he knew you weren't here anymore, because he knows that if you were—you'd be by his side.
'I knew you in another life'
'You had the same look in your eyes'
So with a heavy heart, he went back to your shared house and recited to himself your first official love confession;
'I love you, don't act so surprised'
All writings' rights reserved © 2024 Mitsua. (Credit to the respective owners of the pictures and tagged anime character.) ⌇ my navigation!
#mitsua#mitsuawrites#headcanons#bnha#x reader#anime#mha#hcs#mha hawks#bnha hawks#hawks#hawks x reader#takami keigo#keigo takami#mha takami keigo#bnha keigo#keigo x reader#boku no academia#boku no hero academia#boku no hero#angst#bnha angst#angst story#anime angst#oneshot#no happy ending#gn reader#gender neutral reader#reader insert#bnha x reader
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MEDUSA - Part Seven.
I'm soo excited for you guy to read this one!!! Our lovebirds finally did it!!! I hope I made them justice. They're just so sweet to each other :') Check out the song mentioned in the story, it is beautiful and it fits the moment so nicely. I proofread, but there can still be some mistakes.
Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it pls!), fingering, oral (female receiving), jealousy, talks of guns.
WC: 5.6k
Summary: Y/N is a private dancer at a Gentleman's Club called Medusa. Noah Sebastian is a crime boss. Their paths cross when one night, Noah pays for one of her dances and they can't seem to be apart from each other.
Series Masterlist
You woke up in the morning, the curtains were closed, so very little light was coming into the room. It took you a second to register that you weren't home and to remember that last night Noah drove you to this safehouse.
You don't remember actually going to your room last night, so you figured you fell asleep on the couch and Noah was kind enough to move you to your bed. You made a mental note to thank him later.
Stretching your limbs, you make your way of bed and into the corridor, the smell of coffee invading your senses and making your mouth water, but you needed to brush your teeth first. Last night you noticed this house had everything needed to live in it. Including shampoo, conditioner and toothbrushes, like the one you were tearing from the package.
Washing your face as best as you can with only water, you reminded yourself to ask Noah if it was possible for someone to retrieve things from your house. Your work bag had your essentials, but you were going to need more, specially if you didn't know how long you were staying here.
Leaving the bathroom and making your way to the kitchen, stomach rumbling and eager for something to eat, you were obligated to stop in your tracks as you were met with Noah's shirtless back. The tattoo inked on his skin was beautiful, colorful and it suited him well. It filled his broad back nicely.
Deciding that standing there without saying anything was too awkward, you decided to make yourself present. "Good morning. What time is it?", you asked, realizing you never looked at the time before leaving your room.
He turned around to greet you as well, and you did everything to maintain your eyes on his, finding it difficult to not let it wander over his torso and stomach. "It's just past 8am. I thought you were going to wake up later. You seemed pretty tired last night", he turned back to what seemed to be some scrambled eggs on the kitchen stove.
"I was. I just can't seem to sleep in too late. I've always been an early riser", you sat down on the same chair as last night, claiming your spot for the remainder of your time here.
He brought the pan to the table and then grabbed two plates with two toasts on each. You got up and went over to the coffee maker, grabbing the coffee pot along with two mugs from the cupboard.
You both set down to eat breakfast. "I'm gonna have to leave for a while, take care of some things in the city, but I'll try to be back soon", he said and took a bite of his toast.
"It's ok, I'll be fine here. Take as long as you need", you didn't want to keep him away from things he needed to do.
"I'll need you to make a list of things you'll need from your house. I'll have someone pick up the groceries and drop by your place to get your things", your eyes lit up at this and he laughed lightly at your reaction.
"I was gonna ask you today if someone could do that", you admitted, finishing your breakfast and washing the plate in the sink, despite Noah's protests. "If I'm gonna be here, you'll have to let me do things. Now, where can I get a piece of paper and a pen to get started on that list?"
He made a sound of resignation and pointed towards a little table beside the couch. You got what you needed and sat down again to write everything down. You tried to keep the list light, adding only what you needed the most.
Noah finished his own breakfast and went over to his room to get ready to leave. Putting on his coat over his holster to hide the gun he kept there, and patting his pockets to make sure he had everything he needed.
You gave him your list as soon as he came back. "I won't take long. Make yourself at home", he told you, making his way to the door and grabbing his car keys along the way.
"Hey", you called out to him, making turn around to look at you. "I noticed your door opens with your fingerprint. Can you register mine, just in case I want to get some fresh air outside?", you asked him.
"Of course. Just give me a second", he went outside and called for someone named Max, telling him to come over and get your fingerprint.
"Hi, ma'am", he greeted you with a smile. His height was similar to Noah's, only a little bit shorter, but the similarities stopped there. Max had a buzzcut, but you could see his blond hair coming through. It made his blues eye stand out even more.
You aknowledged him with a nod, as you saw him mess with something on his cellphone. "Can you give me your index finger, please?", he asked after a few seconds, and you extended your index finger toward him.
His hands completely encompassed yours, and you thought if this was really necessary. You could place your own finger on the reader by yourself. But you let him do his thing anyways, thinking that he was just trying to be kind.
You could sense Noah watching the interaction from behind the two of you. The door lock made a sound and something green flashed where you had your finger. Max finally let go of your hand. "All set, you're free to come in and out now", he flashed you another smile, you were going to thank him, when Noah spoke up "You can go back to your post now, Max", the man nodded and walked away.
"I think I'll sit outside for a little bit. It's a nice day today", you said as you observed the sun shining above you.
"Just don't stray too far, ok? I would prefer if you stayed on the porch so the security guards can keep an eye on you"
"Understood", you made a serious face and nodded firmly, trying to make a little fun about how worried he always seemed to be about you.
"Yeah, whatever. I'll go now, you've kept me for too long already", you could see a little smile on his face as he turned around to head over to his car. You saw him stop on the way there and mutter something to Max, before getting in his car and leaving through the gate.
As Noah drove through the woods, he thought about how he could barely sleep during the night. He was grateful you seemed to be taking this like a champ and he felt better with you being at the safehouse. But he couldn't shake the thought that someone walked up to his doorsteps and left him that envelope without anyone noticing.
He needed to come up with a solution, and fast. You couldn't live there forever and one day, you had to go back to your normal life. The rest of the drive went by smoothly, his brain never shutting off for even a second, hyper-aware of his surroundings.
He gave the boys a heads-up to wait for him at his house, so he found everyone already sat around the table, their heads turned towards him as soon as he entered. Jolly was the first to speak up "what was in that envelope, man? You left right after I handed it to you"
"It was a death threat from our favorite group of people", he decided not to beat around the bush.
"So you decided to leave and deal with it on your own?", Nicholas asked him, a hint of annoyance in his tone.
"There's more to it", he paused, the boys are not gonna like what he's saying next. "Y/N received one as well, in her workplace, last night", he observed everyone's expressions, their eyebrows shooting up.
"Y/N from the club?", Jolly wanted to confirm, Noah nodded.
"She called me right after I got the envelope. I think we got them around the same time, so it's possible there were two people delivering them. She called me in a panic, so I took her to the safehouse in the woods. That's why I left last night", he gave Nicholas the side-eye, addressing his hurried exit.
"Yeah, you did the right thing", the man aknowledged.
"But it gets worse", Noah rubbed his forehead. "They know that we know that they are planning to attack us. And they know that Y/N is the one who told us", collective grunts were heard around the room, along with exasperated sighs.
"Man, this is not a good situation. We could've planned ahead, but now that they know, they could attack us anytime, since they know that they don't have the advantage anymore", Jolly stated what they were all thinking.
"Yes, but that's what I've been pondering about last night. They can't attack us if we attack them first", Noah suggested.
"Yeah, but we gotta wait for the big shipment to come through. And we're not even sure it's going to be a smooth delivery now", Nicholas observed.
"I don't think they're going to attack us there anymore, they've lost their element of surprise" Jolly contered.
"Folio, I need you to check on the database and see if they have any shipments coming in before ours", Noah instructed. Folio started typing on his laptop in front of him. "Seems like it, they have a shipment coming one day before ours", the younger boy informed. Noah was thankful everyday for a technical analyst on his team.
"So that confirms our previous theory. They had more guns coming so they could strike on us the day after, when our guns arrived", Jolly pointed out and everyone nodded.
"And now we know when we need to strike. Their shipments are smaller than ours, they have less men. It's the perfect opportunity for us", Noah could sense everyone's apprehension. "I don't like this anymore than you guys do. I wish we could go on without having to do this. But we need to remind ourselves that these men were planning on taking us out and taking our place", he reasoned.
"I agree with you man. You're not wrong. But we gotta prepare quickly, we don't have much time", Nicholas said and Noah agreed.
"We'll start today. We'll be ready. We've done this plenty of times during our younger years", and Noah was right. Before they were in this position, they participared in many raids. "Folio, start studying the map of the port, so we can decide what positions to take. The rest of us will start assemblying and loading the guns we'll need", everyone nodded and started to file out of the room, Nicholas the only one remaining.
He waited until everyone left to start talking. "You know she cares about you to some degree, right?", Noah knew he was talking about you. "She could've just left us in the dark, but she decided to tell us and now she's in this delicate position"
"I shouldn't have gone to her house that night, let alone give her my number", Noah didn't have the energy to look into his best friend's eyes at the moment.
"You could argue that. But from what I've seen and heard that night, she would hardly do anything she doesn't wanna do. So the decision she made was a conscious one", Nicholas always seemed to be capable of knocking some sense into Noah. "I'm just telling you this because I know you're beating yourself up over this, It's not your fault. Besides, she works at Medusa, I'm pretty sure she knows somewhat what this bussiness entails", Noah looked at Nicholas this time and found simpathy in his eyes.
"Thank you, Nick", his gratefulness was sincere, his friend didn't need to take the time to do this, but he chose to anyway. It is rare they got some reassurance and simpathy in this job, but they never lost their empathy towards each other. Noah guesses that's why they're such a tight-knit group. And that's how he knows they'll get through this.
It was nearing 4pm now, the wind was getting colder and you have run out of thing to do here. You made yourself another cup of coffee and spent a couple of hours outside, hearing the birds chirp and wind blowing through the trees. Then you made yourself some lunch, explored the house and ultimately, took a nap on the couch.
It wasn't lost on you the fact that Noah left in the morning and hasn't come back yet. You know you said he could take as long as he needed, but the uneasy feeling didn't leave your stomach for the entire day.
You were in here, protected by a bunch of men with guns, and he was out there. You tried to remind yourself that he was used to this. But you also remembered that you weren't the only one receiving death threats. But you trusted him, and hoped he was as serious about keeping himself safe as he is about keeping you safe.
A little later you heard the gate open and a car driving in. You guessed he was home after all. Making your way outside, your suspicions were confimed, as you saw him killing the engine and getting out of the car.
You don't know what you were thinking, but as soon as he was standing in front of you, you took him in your arms and embraced him, a muffled "hi" leaving your lips into his chest. It took a second for him to register what was happening, but when he did, he circled his arms around your middle, and rested his chin on your head.
You parted after a few seconds but his arms didn't leave your waist. You put your hands on his sholders and inconspicuously tried to pat his arms, looking for any signs that he might not be well. You failed because he amusedly laughed at your actions.
"I'm fine. I just went to my house to talk to the boys", he tried to ease your mind. You got a good look at his face and noticed that his eyes were droopy with tiredness. He needed some rest.
He turned around you with both of his hands and led you into the house. "The groceries should be here soon, along with your things. I just need to take a shower and then I'll fix us something for dinner", you put you right hand up and stopped him right there.
"No, no. I'm taking care of dinner tonight. You'll take a shower and then you'll sit on the couch and wait", now it was his turn to put his hands up, an amused look on his face.
"Ok, then. I won't fight you", he stepped around you with a false look of fear on his face. You rolled your eyes but laughed nonetheless.
Noah was about to get in his room when a knock sounded on the door. "Oh, it should be the groceries you mentioned. I'll get it", you called out, but he decided to observe from his door.
You were greeted with Max's smile on the other side of the door, two bags in his hands.
"A special delivery for the lady", he said as he handed you one bag at a time. You saw him looking behind you, noticing Noah there and the atmosphere in the room suddently shifted. Max's smile now more like a grimace. You looked behind you as well and Noah's look was unreadable, but you could see he wasn't happy.
"Didn't I tell you I wanted Caleb to deliver the stuff?", he asked in a clipped tone.
"I know. I'm sorry, sir. He was busy and asked me to do it", Max's smile crumpled completely.
"No, he wasn't. Because I made sure he was free", Noah retorted, angry that he caught him in a lie.
"I'm sorry. It won't happen again". You felt uncomfortable in the middle of the two.
"No, it won't. You're dismissed". Max left without saying goodbye and you closed the door behind him, muttering an "ok" under your breath. You had whiplash from the moment you shared with Noah just minutes ago.
When you turned around he had already gotten into his room. You decide you're going to ask him about this later. Or maybe you won't.
While he was in the shower you arranged your things in your room and went to put the groceries away, deciding you were cooking some pasta for dinner. You set aside everything you needed and began to work on the tomato sauce.
It was already dark outside, so the lights were on, casting a beautiful glow on the walls made of wood. The atmosphere was serene and calm inside as you worked around the kitchen. Taking longer than usual because you had to figure out where everything is.
"Ok, give me something to do", Noah walked into the room and stood beside you, hips leaning on the counter. He changed and was now wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. Your mind started to reel about how domestic this all felt. You cooking for him and him being all comfortable around you.
"I think I put away a bottle of red wine. You can crack that open for us", you decided to throw all caution to the wind at this moment.
"Oh yeah. I put that on the list", he tried to act all nonchalant but you knew he did this in purpose.
"Must have been, you're the one who wrote it", you threw back at him, a smirk on your face.
You heard the bottle pop and the clinks of two glasses as he filled them about halfway. He handed one to you and said "a special delivery for the lady", you recalled the words from Max earlier, you stopped stirring the sauce and looked at him woth both eyebrows raised. He had a smug look on his face.
"What? Max seems to have taken a liking to you", it all clicked in your brain when he said this.
"Aaaah, now I know what that was all about", you nodded you head in understanding.
"What?", he sipped on his wine, not able to control the smile spreading on his lips.
"You were jealous", he scoffed in indigination at your words.
"I just thought it was innapropriate that he was flirting with you", he shrugged his shoulders.
"How was it innappropriate?", you asked, curious about what his answer is going to be.
"Because he is here working", you guess you couldn't argue with that, the man was on his job after all. You let a few seconds go by before you spoke again.
"He was not my type so I didn't bother reciprocating the flirting", you looked over at him to gauge his reaction, he didn't let much show so you went on, diverting your gaze because you weren't sure you could say this looking at his eyes. "His hair is too short, his eyes too bright and arms a little bare. If you know what I mean"
Noah hummed in acknowledgment, and said "yeah, I think I know what you mean"
The conversation stilled as you prepared the pasta, putting a pan with water to boil on the stove and Noah set the table.
A few minutes later, dinner was ready and you two sat down to eat.
"So, besides being a nurse, you're a chef as well?", you laughed at his remark. I wasn't lost on you that he didn't call you a dancer or a stripper, but a nurse.
"Please, it's pasta and tomato sauce. Anyone could do it", you brushed it off.
"Probably, but it wouldn't taste as good", you decided you were just going to take his compliment.
A comfortable silence fell over you, like everytime you eat a meal together. When you're both finished he takes both of your plates to the sink and tells you he'll worry about it later.
"Give me a second. I'll be right back", he told you as he went to his room. He left the door open and you heard a rummaging sound, and you wondered what he was doing in there. A few minutes later he comes out with a record player balancing in one arm and a vinyl on his other hand. You gasped. You missed listening to music, service here wasn't good, so your cellphone didn't load most of your songs.
He sat the record player down beside the TV and put the vinyl in, setting the needle in place. You recognized the familiar tune of Easy by the Commodores playing.
He stood from his position and made his way over to you, extending his hand.
"I really don't know how to dance like this", and you were really bad at slow dancing, your feet always tripped over of each other. You were more well-versed in another kind of dancing.
"C'mon, it's just swaying. How hard can it be?", he argued. You decided you were gonna let yourself have this. So you took his hand and stood up. Interlacing your fingers behind his neck, you felt his hands rest on your waist. Not too low and not too high.
He noticed you were letting out a few giggles, he could feel your body shaking a little in his hold. He looked down at you. "Am I really that bad?", you fully laughed now.
"You're really not. It's just funny because you're so tall and I'm totally not", you told him the reason of your giggles.
"I have a solution. Here, put your feet on top of mine and I'll take care of swawing us back and forth"
"What? I'm gonna crush your feet"
"No, you're not. C'mon, just do it. It'll be easier", he insisted and you relented, resting your feet on top of his. It was easier now to entertwine your hands behind his neck. But you noticed you were more pressed into him now, feeling the entirety of his body on you.
He felt firm against you, and your face was closer to his chest as you inhaled his scent, a mixture of his perfume, softener and something inexplicably him. It filled you lungs and went straight to your head. You could say it started to cloud your judgment, but it was already clouded when you fist danced for him.
His hands that were still, started to run up and down your sides, warming your skin through your clothes, and you felt his breath on top of your head, where he was resting his cheek. The moment was calm and peaceful, and his steady heartbeat in your ears proved you that.
You moved your hands to rest on each side if his neck, twirling a strand of hair in your fingers. You stood on your tiptoes and nuzzled your head on his exposed, tattoed neck. You felt him take a deep breath and his skin filled with goosebumps. You went one step ahead and started to ghost your lips over his skin.
"Y/N", his voice was low and just a little bit broken, you hummed in response. His hands traveled lower and settled on the hem of your long sleeved t-shirt, you nodded in consent and felt his large and warm palms make their way underneath, splaying themselves over you, his thumb sligthly tracing the underside of your bra.
"You feel so good", he mumbled in your hair. You detached your lips from his neck to lean back and look at him in the eyes. They were clouded over with lust, but you sensed he was holding back for your sake.
"Noah, kiss me, please. I wanna feel your lips on mine", you whispered, only for himself to hear. One of his hands made their way to rest on the back of your neck. Leaning in, he first kissed one side of your lips, then the other, before pressing them firmly on yours. His hand with a tight hold on your waist.
You deepened the kiss, moving your head to the side, your lips slotting together perfectly. Pulling you tigheter against him, he took advantage of your little gasp to slip his tongue inside your mouth.
Your heavy breaths mingled with each other. Your hands wanted to explore, so you started to run them over the expanse of his chest, slipping under his hoodie and feeling his stomach under your hands.
You had to part your lips due to the intensity of the kiss, catching your breaths. The song was long over and the only thing you could hear was your heart beating in your ribcage.
"Take me to your bedroom", you whispered over his lips.
"You're sure you wanna do this?", he asked you, looking you in the eye, looking for answers.
"Please, I wanna feel you. I need to feel you". In an instant, his hands rested on the back of your thighs, picking you up as you laced your legs around his waist. You let out a yelp, but hid your face on his neck. You felt him giggle at your reaction, and patted your bum a couple of times.
He sat you down on his bed, kneeling in front of you. He stopped for a minute, hands resting on your thighs, just looking at you with his beautiful eyes.
"You're just gonna look at me?", your voice was low, afraid to break the bubble you were both under if you spoke too loud.
"Guess so, I can't seem to stop admiring you", he nuzzled his head on your thighs, leaving little kisses over your pants.
"I'm gonna need you to do more than that", he hummed, hands slipping under your shirt once more, this time he started to pull it up, removing it all together with your help. He pushed you gently to lay on the bed, your arms extended on both of your sides, a content look on your face.
"You look so good all laid out for me like this", he hummed, starting to kiss his way up your stomach, the top of your breasts and all over your neck. You let out soft sighs of appreciation, as he slipped off the straps of your bra to kiss your shoulder. "Take it off", you murmured to him. One of his hands going behind your back to mess with the clasp, undoing it and letting the piece of clothing fall, throwing it unceremoniously to the side.
Both of his hands squeezed your breasts, reveling on the feeling of them under his palms. But he soon replaced them with his mouth, sucking and biting to his heart's content as you threw your head back. When he was satisfied with his ministrations, he moved you up the bed, your head resting on the pillows and his body slotting between yours.
"I think we're a little imbalanced here", you referred to his fully clothed body, making it your goal to grip the hem of his hoodie and slip it off of him.
You wanted to take your time exploring his body, running your fingertips over the lines of his tattoos, kissing over his torso and chest. Looking up at him through your lashes, seeing a look that told you he was never loved on like this before. If it was up to you, he would always be loved like this. It's what he deserves.
He gripped the back of your head and kissed you with passion, your tongues fighting for dominance, even though you didn't put up much of a fight. You let him kiss you just how he wanted. He slipped his hand under your leggings to grasp your ass, making your hips grind, a groan leaving both of your lips in unison.
Sliding it downwards, he started to remove your pants, along with your underwear. As soon as they were off, he kissed his way from your calf to your thighs, finally landing where you needed him the most.
He could tell you were holding your breath in anticipation. "Relax for me, baby girl. This is gonna feel really good", you let out the long breath you were holding in, and felt the first licks of his tongue. Gasping out loud from the sensation he provided.
He started out slow, moving his tongue in circles as he sped up his movements. When he felt you were wet enough, he tentatively placed the tip of his middle finger on your entrance, and he felt your body come down a little, urging him to slip it inside you.
When he finally did it, you moaned out loud at the sensation, using his hair as an anchor and gripping it tightly. He groaned at the feeling. "I'll slip another one in, is that ok?", he asked you, as he moved his hand at a slow pace, inside and out.
"Yes, yes, please", you pleaded and suddently you felt so full, you couldn't help but grind down on his hand. "I'm not lasting much longer", your voice was strained, you were trying to hold your orgasm at bay so you could savor the moment for a bit longer.
"It's ok, you can let go. Make a mess on my fingers, baby. I want you to", he was looking up at you, he needed to see what you looked like coming undone for him. Seconds later, your body started to writhe on the bed, he felt you clench around his fingers. Nothing leaving your lips but broken moans and gasps for air. He worked his fingers for a while longer, before pulling them out and licking them clean. You've never seen something so sinful in your life.
He laid beside you, giving you a minute to catch your breath. "Thank you", you said in a worn voice.
"You don't have to thank me", he lazily brushed his fingers over your stomach, creating random patterns.
"I feel like I do", you admitted. "Not only for this, but for everything. The way you take care of me, the way you worry about me. This all feels a little foreign to me"
He grabbed you by the chin and turned you to look at him. "I know you're grateful. And you better get used to me taking care of you", you kissed him before he could make you feel anymore emotional.
Feeling rested enough, you climbed over his lap, straddling his hips. He still had his sweatpants on, but you could feel him beneath you. Making your way down, you slipped it off of him, making quick work of his boxers as well.
As you were about to grasp him in your hands, he stopped you. "We'll have time for that some other day. Right now I just really need to be inside of you", his hands made their way up to squeeze your breasts, not believing he had you on top of him like this.
You lifted yourself to accomodate him between your legs as you started to slide down. The burn felt so good that you couldn't keep yourself upright anymore, instead, you collapsed on his chest.
"Don't worry, I got you. Lay down on me", he said as he slipped all the way in, stopping for a second before you started to move your hips back and forth. He squeezed your waist tight, stopping your movements.
"Wait a second. I just need a second", he said, breathless, and you chuckled. "You find this funny? Not even three seconds inside of you and I'm almost bursting already", he held no real annoyance in his voice, just finding the situation humourous.
"It is a little funny", you didn't have time to chuckle again when his hips slammed into you with force, silencing you efficiently. He kept his pace as you sat up, tits bouncing with every stroke of his hips. You started to move on your own accord, and he let you do your thing, hips moving in circles over his.
"Yeah, like that. Do that again", he threw his head back, exposing his beautiful neck for you to kiss and bite. You felt his legs shudder and you knew he was close, and you kept up your pace.
"I'm so close. Cum with me, baby", he whispered in your ear, as his hand slipped between your bodies. You could feel yourself letting go, hips stilling and body squirming on top of his. Not long after, Noah found his own release, hips arching upwards as he gripped your ass tight, keeping you both connected as closely as possible, grunts of pleasure filling your ears.
You felt your body relax as you let yourself rest on top of him, feeling all of his body on yours, naked and sweaty. He landed his hand on your hair, stroking softly and whispering how well you did for him.
Finally untangling from each other, you laid beside him, eyes wanting to flutter shut, but you were not ready to stop looking at him yet. You grabbed one of his hand and started to inspect it, fingers grazing over his knuckles.
"What's on your mind?", he asked, a hint of worry making itself known in his voice.
"Just how big your hands are", you said, pulling his hands up and comparing it to yours, "look", you told him in amusement.
He laughed a belly laugh and you smiled, looking at the way his eyes crinkled. He was one of those people who smiled with their eyes. Removing his hand from yours, he enveloped you in his arms, pulling you against him, giving you a soft peck on your lips.
"We need to take a shower", you noted, but made no movement to get up from the bed. Instead, you nuzzled your head further on his neck.
"I know, let's just stay like this for a second", he grabbed the comforter that sat at the end of the bed and pulled it over the both of you.
Tag List: @concreteangel92 @millie-aubs @mostlypanicking @thisbicc @rebelheart90 @moranastray @xmads-omensx @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lma1986 @skyemanzsstuff @theroyaldixon @mindlesssweets @dravenskye @sundamariis @flowery-mess @badomensls @loeytuan98 @cheyyyyr @dominuslunae @jaded-and-hollow-souls @malerieee
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Dividers: @cafekitsune
#noah sebastian#noah sebastian x reader#noah sebastian smut#noah sebastian imagine#noah sebastian davis#noah sebastian fluff#noah sebastian fic#noah sebastian fanfiction#bad omens smut#bad omens imagine#bad omens fanfiction#bad omens#bad omens fluff#bad omens fic#bad omens headcanons#noah sebastian headcanons#noah sebastian angst#medusa
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Can you write an angst with chris where he gets mad at y/n for something when she just wanted physical touch and then he runs after her and apologizes with like a fluff ending? If you can’t that’s ok! I love your stories :)
'CLINGY' - C.S
Synopsis - request !
Warnings! - angst, fluff, kissing, Chris being a lil poopy head, no actual use of Y/N, profanity, mentions of anxiety and anger issues, commitment issues, reader has a dog, a Pitbull, I think that's it. Let me know if I missed anything!
A/N - Of course! Thank you for requesting! I really hope this is what you meant, I wasn't completely sure about most of it, but I think it works.
Today was kind of stressful. I had an anxiety attack in the middle of my presentation in my creative writing course today. And that lead me here, sitting in my living room waiting for my boyfriend to answer his phone.
I sigh as it goes straight to voicemail, for the 4th time. My dog, Lucy, hops onto the couch next to me and lays down next to me, laying her head on my thigh.
I decide to text Nick to see if anything happened or something.
Me: Hey Nick, is Chris doing anything rn? Nick: No. He's just sitting on his phone. Why? Me: I've called him four times and he hasn't answered. It went straight to voice mail each time. Nick: Damn. That's weird. Me: I know. But I'll just leave him be for now. thanks Nick. Nick: Of course.
Huh.
I sigh as I drop my phone on the coffee table, making a clinking noise against the glass. As if Lucy can feel my emotions, she sits up from her laying position and gets in my face and starts attacking me with kisses, full of slobber.
After she calms down and decides to lay on my lap fully, I grab the TV remote and turn on something to keep me occupied. I go to Disney plus and turn on Tangled.
----
I'm at the scene when Flynn Rider gives the crown to the two thugs, and they put him on the ship and sail him to the jail, when I hear my phone buzz from its place on the coffee table. I sigh as I pick it up and low-and behold, it's a text from Chris. One singular text, that made my heart nearly stop.
Chris: Can you like, stop calling and texting me so damn much? You're being so clingy.
I just leave him on read and throw my phone back down, this time hitting the floor and not the coffee table. I feel my blood boil. My head is buzzing from anger. I try to focus on the movie, and I start to pet Lucy from her curled up spot on my lap, confining me to the couch.
----
The movie finished and I've since then turned-on YouTube, watching Joey Graceffa's Escape the Night series. I hear another buzz from my phone, and I pick it up from the floor.
Matt: fyi, Chris just left and is walking to your house now. Me: Thanks for the heads up. Matt: Course.
Low and behold, a knock at my door. Well, more like several knocks, each one making Lucy bark.
I scramble to the front door and open it, to see an almost angry Chris.
I furrow my brows. "Chris is-"
He just pushes past me and into my house.
"Why'd you leave me on read?"
I sigh as I shut my door and turn to face him.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe to not come off any clingier than I already was!" I say with sarcasm in my voice.
"Why weren't you answering my calls?!" I ask in retaliation.
He looks dumbfounded. Like he doesn't even know why he dodged my calls.
"Chris, why were you ignoring my calls?" I ask sternly. I feel my mind go blank and fuzzy. I feel my stomach knot up. All because of my anger.
He sighs in defeat, probably now knowing why.
"I guess, I just had a little moment."
"What do you mean by moment?" My voice is calmer, and quieter.
"I mean, you know this. I just got scared for a second. My commitment issues kicked in a little. I got insecure. I just, my mind kept going over the worst scenarios of me fucking up our relationship."
My stomach un-knots itself and I feel the fuzziness in my head go away. My expression softens and I walk to him, grabbing his hands.
"Chris, you could never fuck up our relationship. I mean, even if you did, we'd always fix it. I know you have issues with being in a relationship, I get that. But you could never hurt me, never. I love you." I put one hand on his cheek and smile softly at him. One he returns.
"I love you." He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close to him. I wrap my arms around his neck, pull him closer in a hug.
After he pulls back, his hands are still on my waist. I lean up and press a gentle kiss to his lips before pulling back.
"Feel better?"
"A lot better. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Just, if you ever feel like this again, let me know. I'll help you."
His handsome smile overtakes his face, making his eyes brighten. I push a few strands of his hair out of his face with a smile on my face as well.
Tags! ✮
@dwntwn-strnlo ✮ @ssturniolo ✮ @strniolo ✮ @20nugs ✮ @prettysturniolo ✮
If you want to be added to the list all you have to do is ask !! ✮
I love y'all! Have a wonderful and / or night ✮
#l writes!#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#♡#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine#the sturniolo triplets
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give me your favorite manga or anime of all time. NOW. like, the ones who changed you as a person. if you are okay with questions like that!
HELLO HI I RISE FROM THE GRAVE FOR THIS INCREDIBLE YAPPING OPPORTUNITY
fr tho thank you Lottie for asking me too despite my death apparent, this will be long, I'll put the honorable mentions first as to make it a little more interesting and KHR will be at the bottom for the same reason-
Honorable mentions!
Sailor Moon - love myself some female friendship and magical girls. And women who could kick my ass like Pluto.
Black Rock Shooter - as above, plus vague setting and cool transformations.
Fate series - ok hear me out. I haven't watched the anime and just started the VN, I mostly play the mobile game, but it's about history and there's cute girls in it. Peak.
The Vision of Escaflowne - COOL MECHAS (hasn't finished it)
Yuru Camp - CUTE GIRLS FRIENDHIP AND COZYNESS also relaxing music (hasn't finished it)
Serial Experiments Lain - what the fuck was that
Violet Evergarden - tears? tears in my eyes? stop???
Dungeon Food - I'd have put this above if I wasn't just at the second volume of it, holy shit this is so fun but I feel it will crush my soul soon
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Ah. Lord, NGE. The vagueness of its worldbuilding, the psychological aspects, the occult and religious simbology, and the GODDAMN MUSIC. If you like classical, epic and otherwordly music, I beg you to check out NGE's score even if you're not interested in the anime itself because Shiro Sagisu is a gift from the gods and one of the best composers of our time. The series is a masterpiece. People despise the movies but IMO they do exactly what a movie should do: entertain. Anno embraced the "I'll be cringe, but I'll be free" and went all out on them, as he should have. Also, there's Kaworu Nagisa. Look at him!
Steins;Gate
PLEASE. PLEASE DO AND DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF AT THE SAME TIME. I WAS NOT READY. This anime will take your heart, embrace it, warm it up, GRIP IT IN ITS HANDS, CHEW IT AND SPIT IT OUT. Admittedly I played the VN because I wanted to experience all endings and OH MY GOD. It's terrifying and emotionally damaging. I started playing the sequel (Steins;Gate 0) and I had to STOP because it's so gut-wrenching in all the good ways that I need to be in the right spot for it.
Bleach
talk about recent experiences. I live under a rock when it comes to popular anime most times, and I never had the occasion to watch Bleach until recently (still haven't technically finished it because I'm waiting for TYBW to finish releasing to watch it). I... don't know what it is about Bleach that I like so much, but it got me in a similar way to KHR, as in I think about it often against my will and I'm even considering creating an OC for it. I think it's the characters, because the story is pretty straightforward... yeah, yeah it's the fictional men again. Kubo makes handsome men who fight with swords and transformation and everyone has their own powerups and...hhhngh. Look at this batch of cookies.
Ah no, wait, there's Shiro Sagisu again as composer. Almost forgot. *dances aggessively to spanish guitars*
Dr. Stone
I'm not a science brain, totally the opposite. Math doesn't math, geometry is evil and chemistry is wizardry. BUT, I love things that TRY to teach me those things in a funny and accessible way. I still won't understand them, but it was fun trying! And Dr. Stone has that, it's the moment I realize I like it when things are explained to me in that way, especially through media. Plus, fun characters, emotional moments, and cool plot.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn
Fortunately or unfortunately depending on your opinion on the show, KHR was the first ever japanese piece of media (excluding videogames) I've ever consumed. Being a lonely and socially awkward human being, it soon became my personality. It was these fuckers who made me get into manga altogether, I started buying the volumes (but only up to Varia Arc because 1. I didn't have an allowance, everything was done with Christmas/Easter/birthday money and 2. I was so obsessed with the Varia that my goldfish brain lost interest mid Future Arc.) and from there I discovered the pleasure of physical copies. The show has never aired in Italy, so nobody knew what the fuck I was talking about. It was, as many others were for me, a very lonely experience. But it was also the first time I felt... unique? Like, "this is my special little treasure and nobody can take it from me" kinda thing. I was emotionally invested in this show and every small piece of merch I could find like my Varia character songs CD became some of my most prized possessions (UNTIL I STARTED GIFTING AWAY MY SET OF VONGOLA RINGS BECAUSE I WANTED TO BRIBE PEOPLE INTO LIKING THE SHOW) (YEAH THAT WAS. STUPID. BECAUSE IT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T WORK. AND ONLY MADE ME FEEL MORE LONELY AND RINGLESS) Then, the falling off. I started playing an MMO that also shaped part of my personality and as you often do with things that remind you of lonelier times, I sold my volumes and stopped thinking of KHR... until recently, when I joined this fandom and the spark came back because fuck it I'll be cringe but I'll be free. I got my fair share of flack for hyperfixating on an old anime at 24 years old, but it's one of the best experiences I've ever had. So yeah. KHR was ultimately good for me.
#ask the myell#ask answered#yeah as you can see Squalo settled my taste in fictional men for the rest of my life#swordsman ✅ long bright hair ✅ angry ✅#“it's the fictional men again” is a phrase that defines me#it's always their fault#like stop rojuro has no business being that handsome fuck off#also pre-betrayal aizen > evil aizen I said what I said#also my problem with anime is that I like to do stuff while watching it but if it's eng subbed I'm forced to look at it#so I never stop and sit down to watch anime because my brain thinks I'm doing nothing?#I could only sit through bleach because the italian dub is fire
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Task Force 141 x Reader PART 4
Author: *watching MW2 Tiktoks*
Also Author: *REMEMBERS SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING PART 4 OF HER DAMN SERIES*
Author: *RUNS TO GET HER KEYBOARD AND ACTUALLY STARTS TYPING.*
IM SO SORRY BUT HERE IT IS OK I'LL STOP ACTING LIKE A DRONGO HERE WE GO
<story is beginning...>
"Damn," you wheeze out, pushing yourself up. "No mercy, eh?"
You're sparring with Ghost again because somehow, you defeated every one else on the Task Force. Except for the Captain, of course, you haven't had the chance to spar with him yet. You were itching for that though, on God. He could throw you around anytime...
Ghost scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "Say that when you have a gun to your head. The enemies won't take kindly to you."
You hum, standing back up. You gesture at him. "One more time."
"Again?" Rudy inquires, surprised. You two have been at it for almost hours.
"I want to at least get close enough to actually beat him." You mimic Ghost's stance. "I wanna beat... Ghostie."
He gives you the most dead stare in the world. "...What the hell did you just call me?"
"Ghostie. Get it? You're a liutenant, or LT. Ghost, your call sign and you get Ghostie!" You grin. Soap and Alejandro are snickering in the background. You clearly aren't very imaginative when it comes to creating nicknames.
"You are not calling me that."
"Take it or leave it, sir. There is no other alternative. Unless..." Your eyes sparkle. "You wanna be Casper."
Soap can't hold it in anymore; unleash the Scottish tea kettle. Alejandro is laughing so obnoxiously, you thought the whole base would hear him. Gaz doubles over, hand over his mouth to contain his giggles. Rudy had that disappointed white mom look- all he needed was a sweater to wrap himself in.
Ghost narrowed his eyes at you. But was that a twinkle of mirth and amusement in his gaze? You thought so before Ghost rolls his eyes, turning away and walking to get his water bottle.
"Oi, we a'int finished yet! No breaks!" you call.
"Have Soap train with you then," he replies monotonously.
"I'd rather die than train with that man again. He sucks."
"I AM RIGHT HERE, CASANOVA." Soap strides over to you and gives you a rough shoulder shove with a grin.
You smirk. "Whatever, Handwash."
Soap complains loudly and the Captain walks in, taking in the scene. "Doing some practice, are we?"
All of you guys nod in affirmation. He smiles proudly.
"Casanova is fitting in pretty well," Gaz responds, his smile full of nice white teeth. You figured since it was Britain, everyone would got some crooked ass teeth, but nah. These fellas are the hottest guys on earth. Gaz fires a wink at you and you can't help but smirk. "She and Ghost would be a deadly duo, to be honest. Soap can't keep up."
Soap flips him off and Price chuckles.
"Good. Because we have another mission. Laswell will give you all a debriefing and then we're headed out. Are you ready, Casanova?" Price looks at you straight in the eyes, waiting for your answer.
You salute with a goofy smile. "Was born ready, Cap'n. It'll be nice to see Laswell again."
"Yeah, she thinks quite highly of you, Casanova," Price responds with a nod. "Now, let's put that potential to action. Follow me."
All of the team follows their leader with zero hesitation. You stare at the way Price walks and the urge to just grab him is almost impossible to ignore. His hips sure as hell don't lie...
-TIME SKIP BC AUTHOR ISN'T SURE HOW THE MISSION "Cartel Protection" EXACTLY GOES...-
"Been there before, Ale?" you ask, shouldering your SMG on your shoulder. The whole team was on their way to Mexico, to a village that was overun by the cartel there.
He snorts. "Of course! Mexico is my home after all, and I've already had my share with this cartel..." Alejandro scoffs in disgust.
You sniff and lean your head back. You've never been to Mexico before- honestly, you haven't to a lot of places, besides Afghanistan. And that didn't go so swell...
You shake your head again, leg bouncing up and down. You didn't want to admit it, but you were nervous. Nervous that things could go horribly wrong again. That it would be all your fault... For fuck's sake, why now? You've been able to block out the terrible memories, yet now all of sudden they came back to haunt you.
Flashes of gunfire. Explosions. Comrades screaming in pain.
"It's all up to you, Casanova! Go! Now!"
"But Liuetanent-!"
"CASANOVA, IT'S AN ORDER! LEAVE ME BEHIND!"
"NO! I CAN'T LOSE YOU TOO! PLEASE!"
Rudy nudges your shoulder and you flinch.
"Lo siento," he whispers, studying your torn expression. "But..." He trails off and a small smile appears on his face. Rudy nods reassuringly.
You inhale and slowly exhale, banishing the memories, screeching to be remembered. "Gracias, amigo."
He nods once more and leaves you alone. Rudy sensed something was churning in your mind, and that always wasn't a good thing before getting into battle. Good soldiers die that way.
And you knew that all too well.
<end of part>
IM SORRY ITS SUPER SHORT BUT I HAVE TO DO MORE RESEARCH BEFORE I WRITE A MISSION I HAVE BARELY ANY INFO ABOUT- And I have things to do, so take this for a moment im sorry again T^T
Hoped you enjoy this, im trying very hard to get you a moment with every member, so please dont mind the tiny scenes with you and another member... I want the quality time to be equal and not leaned towards just one character, because at the end, like I said, you'll be able to choose which character to be with! :D
Part 5 arriving shortly...!
#cod mw2#mw2#task force x reader#task force 141#task force 141 x y/n#alejandro x reader#captain john price x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#rudy x reader#gaz x reader#x reader#call of duty#soap x reader#Mayhem has a fucking spasm#please deport me back to my country
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Are you being completely truthful with your bio? You have a somewhat juvenile writing style even down to the ✨word✨ and your writing reference for male arousal is strangely written and a little inaccurate. Your obsession with objectifying and writing porn of real life men with wives and families makes you look like either a really creepy adult, or a kid that doesn’t know any better. Do you think it’s ok for a straight man your age to objectify a female actress in this same way?
Not to mention your pinned is from 2020 so you would have been 16 when you made the account that says “minors do not interact” in all caps
The mentions of collage are interesting as well, what the hell are you majoring in anyway? Did you forget to update your age and this is your last year? Or were you actually running an 18+ account while 16? And honestly I’m assuming you were probably younger.
Your alias is S.
You go by sir and but you use very cliché and juvenile language, “I’m more friendly than I look, I promise ��” “I’m a dyslexic fanfic writer *existencial sigh*”
it’s got the same vibe as, “he’s standing right behind me isn’t he 😬”
Just don’t lie about this shit when you’re writing porn. You’re going to be prayed on. Just be safe with it and keep it on a private account.
I believe this ask and these following asks come from the same person or from affiliated people because they all were sent in around the same time and are all orbiting the same topics, so I'm looping them together:
"Hey man, how old are you exactly?"
"What r u studying? Writing I assume? But I feel like you’d be qualified to teach the class 😏"
"Are you planning on making an account solely for your art? You’re incredibly skilled"
"Do the names cate and Lillian mean anything to you?"
"Cate?"
If they're not all the same person or a purposeful group of people talking about the same things, then I apologize to the people I've tacked on to discourse, lol.
Shorter asks first:
I'm in my twenties, and I'll explain the vagueness there in a hot second when I get to the longer, opening ask.
I'm actually studying art, not writing, lol. Writing is just a hobby for me. Thanks, regardless! I don't think I'd be very good at teaching, though 😅 My writing process is a mess, and I'm constantly breaking so, so many writing rules, lmao.
Thank you! No, I don't plan on making a separate art account for fandom or for my actual, non-sketch, finished-piece artwork. I mean, I have art accounts, but they're purposefully not attached to my Tumblr because art is a hobby right now, but I'm planning on making it into my profession.
No? Should they?
No? I'm so confused, lmao. Are you assuming you know who I am, and that's the motivation of the pointed questions? Assuming I'm Cate or Lillian? 'Cause I'm not. If they're people/characters related to the Marvel/Seb Stan/Chris Evans, then I feel like I need to warn you that I'm often fandom illiterate, lol. I don't actually watch TV/series/movies regularly, so... I'm oblivious to a lot.
Okay, on to the longer, opening ask that started this saga of asks.
First, I appreciate that you are trying to keep people out of harms way. I do. Yet, aren't there less accusatory ways to go about it? Absolutely, full stop, I do not want minors--no matter if they're 17, so close to 18 or whatever excuse they may make--in the parts of fandom that are not appropriate for them. No.
However, I, personally, don't think accusing someone of being something and talking down to them, picking apart each little thing about their online presence will do anything to anyone who is already engaging in shit that they should not be. Maybe that's just my hot take, though. I can't say I have the answer about how to eliminate minors who shouldn't be around these places on the internet, though. Unfortunately.
'Cause, yup! I'm being truthful.
Often, I am vague on purpose. I do that because, by the nature of what I get up to on the internet living in a society based so deeply in puritanical views, it's easy to have shit used against you in the professional world. But, whether I'm being vague with personal information like my age, name, location, etc. while getting hyperspecific with sexual shit, I'm still honest.
And I don't know if I need to specify this or not, but just in case I do, it says 20s with an s in my pinned post. Plural. As in 20-29, the range of being in my 20s. I'm in my 20s.
Yes, my pinned post is 4 years old at this point, so maybe I sound more juvenile in it because it's been four years since I wrote that. I have edited parts of it, but not everything. Also, yes, I was 18--closer to 19, but still 18, nevertheless--when I started my blog. So. More juvenile then, definitely. Hell, you're allowed to think I still sound juvenile, too. If you want. You're entitled to your own opinion. If you don't like the way I sound, though, just don't read my stuff. That's simple.
And it bleeds into the idea that I sound inaccurate. I am inaccurate sometimes. Definitely. Not everything I write could I replace myself with whatever character or person I'm writing about and feel like it is accurate to how I would feel or respond in that situation. But, the thing is, for me, that's the allure to porn. That's the whole thing. Porn is fantasy. The way I describe shit isn't literal all the time. It's about conveying feelings. It might not be your experience with feelings of arousal. Cool. Great! Differences are good. Feelings aren't objective. Again, if something about my writing makes you feel weird or feels too unrealistic to your experience, you don't have to read it.
As far as the ethics and nonethics of writing about real people, I've discussed that before (one, two, three), so I won't go into that now, but I would be interested to dig into your notion of how my actions may stack up comparatively to a straight man objectifying women.
I would call myself a feminist. I am always trying to learn more about how to be a better, more intersectional feminist. The swapping of me, a cis queer guy, sexualizing/objectifying other men with a cis straight man sexualizing/objectifying women does bring up very strong feelings in me. It does feel distinctly creepy to me. However, I can point directly to the reason why: it feels much more threatening for a man to talk about women like that. Obviously, not every man is terrible and means to threaten sexual violence to women, and women aren't delicate, helpless little things that must be protected at all costs. However, yeah, like you're getting at, it does feel different, and I have to sit with that to parse out why and what I want to do about it.
Interestingly, though, because of my experiences in the parts of the queer community I frequent, I feel relatively desensitized to mlm sexualization. Like, it's just part of it often, so much so that it goes unnoticed to me. Which, I can understand how people then pick up pitchforks and say no!! You can't do that! That's part of the problem! Or, why does everything have to be sexual with you!! But... that, to me, slides into the censoring, no-kink-at-pride type of discussion that I am not so interested in having at this juncture. There need to be spaces where children are welcome. Yes. There also need to be separate spaces where adults are allowed to be open and honest with all sorts of emotions, including the emotion of horny in a way that's safe and sane and consensual.
I will also note, because it feels worthy of mentioning here, that I have boundaries with sexualization. Real life and online life are different. I'm honest in both, but the rules and behavior are different, y'know? There's nuance to be had.
I don't talk outside of Tumblr the same way I do on Tumblr. Real life is very different to fandom etiquette. Which, I acknowledge that a lot of fandom--historically and presently--is women. Not totally, of course, but a good chunk. Women are objectified exhaustively in our society. So, personally, I feel that it is more than fair for them to then turn around and objective men some. Ever since getting into fandom, I've emulated that because it's the culture here. I've picked it up without really realizing it. Does that mean I feel like it's as fair for me, a man, to take up space in a traditionally women-populated area that's often described as a safe space and co-opt the slang? No. It's not really mine to adapt. Perhaps I should look into that deeper or acknowledge more than I do that I stand on borrowed ground.
Amongst that thought, though, is the realization that I don't talk the same offline because when I'm in the fandom space, I feel a little bit of my traditional socialization come undone. I'm a man. I was raised to crush down emotions and be strong and steady. Sure, I'm a 5'6" twink looking motherfucker, but I'm still a man, and still, strong emotions I might show in real life are met with confusion at best.
Strong emotions like anger or even noticeable, perky excitement when in public do not get a great response. Anger, understandably. I'm very aware of that. I'm not an angry guy, I grew up around a lot of angry people, I know it's frightening--especially when men get angry. I don't think I'm particularly threatening when I do get frustrated, but still, the few times I've been visibly upset like that around people in public, I can always feel women particularly shrinking away from me. It's just not acceptable. But, excitement. Even excitement or other positive emotions rouses discomfort from others in public.
If I express strong excitement or happiness to people who aren't my friends, people in public, I get reactions, too. Women tend to look at me strangely, as if there's something weird about me. That changes if I out myself to said women because it's more socially acceptable to be exciteable or positive if you're queer. Now, men brush me off in that situation. As a kid, that was not allowed because, what are you gay? Why? Why are you excited about anything? Pfft. That's for girls.
So, all is all to say, I don't talk the way I do on Tumblr. And perhaps that excitement/obvious horniness/whatever strong emotion that I do express on Tumblr comes across as juvenile or unmasculine to you. Maybe that's what you're picking up on with my apparently juvenile tone? I don't know.
That all sounds like I'm saying, poor me, it's so hard to be a man, feel bad for me, but what I'm doing is trying to explain where I'm coming from, why I express that way, and how it's different from my behavior in real life. You're still allowed to think I'm hypocritical and creepy, like I'm allowed to explain myself and do my own thing.
Again, I was 18 when I made my blog.
As for what I'm studying, I'm working toward an MFA right now. As it states in my pinned post, I'm dyslexic. Part of my journey in higher ed has been learning--trying to learn, at least, oof, it's not always going well--how to go easier on myself and not stress out over not being able to keep up all the time with my peers who aren't dyslexic. I'm trying not to feel dumber and feel like that's a terrible thing. So, I took a lighter class load when I got to college to go my own speed, I don't take summer classes, and then I fucked up shit with my transfer degree. Meaning, I'm a whole year, almost two, behind with the "average" track. That's why it feels like I'm stuck in college purgatory, lmao.
I use S because it relates vaguely to my real name, that's all.
I offer that people can use "sir" to refer to me because I, personally, like power dynamics in sex and my blog is about sex a lot. I don't feel like "daddy" fits me, sure, partly to do with my age, but really, daddy is a mindset, lol, and it strikes me as much more nurturing and romantic mindset/dynamic. I don't feel like that fits me. I like something stricter. I used to think I was a stone top, lol, and while I don't feel exactly like that anymore, I certainly don't feel as kinky-soft as "daddy".
Sure, that's maybe cliche to say. Cool. Personally, it doesn't strike me as juvenile, but clearly, it does to you, so... okay? I don't know what to do about that? It's just how I write.
Also, it's very amusing to me to accuse someone of lying while choosing to remain anonymous and disconnected from your own blog that, hopefully, contains your age/age range within it.
Reiterating: I think it's good that you want to keep minors out of the places they shouldn't be, I do. That's admirable. It's dangerous for the minors that do step foot in 18+ spaces as well as dangerous for well-meaning adults who unknowingly interact with minors masquerading as adults. But you're barking up the wrong tree.
You're welcome to say that writing this whole thing is defensive, clearly juvenile, and proves your point if you like. (Maybe, fine, I am a little offended to be told my smut sounds like a child wrote it because... yikes. So, I'm defending something there.) Still, I was interested in diving into some of the things you brought up 'cause I think about some of that a lot. Especially about my place in fandom as a guy. I try very hard not to be the creepy guy in the corner 😬
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ok so... remember how i said life was throwing rocks at me but i'm all good and i'm back now? ... lol 💀 there was in fact a round two
SO WITHOUT SOUNDING TOO VENTY ABT IT. my mental health has been in the gutter and there's been a lot of tension in my family. my cat got hit by a car and broke his hip. i'm no longer at uni and at home for the summer in close proximity to my parents. you get the picture.
and THEN on top of all that i've been doing a lot of thinking and believe me a LOT of internal debating but ultimately i've decided to stop writing for the all i think about now series. for hopefully a decent reason because when i started it i created it as a way to process and get over some shit that went down between me and my ex that was reflected directly in the series plot. like literally ctrl+c and ctrl+v. but it's been a year since then and writing about it all over again just feels wrong after all of the effort that went into getting over what had happened in the first place. so i think it's best for me to stop writing it instead of just brute forcing my way through the upcoming chapters.
i'm very sorry to everyone who was invested in the series. i do have a full outline for each unpublished chapter in one big google doc, and i plan to post it as a sort of... compensation? for not finishing the series. i'll polish it up a bit and everything, i just don't wish to invest so much time and effort into fully writing out chapters.
i hope that you guys can understand the decision and that you aren't too mad about it. thank you so much to everyone who stuck around and read what i had written so far 😭🩷 it means a lot
and with the emotional part of this mini psa over, i will say that i'm doing better now, and hopefully will have something published soon. hopefully.
-gia <3
#🪷 gia.exe#a little bit important#again sorry to all the people invested in the series but my brain just cannot
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at the fair
chapter 3 of healing hearts.
reblogs, likes and comments are always encouraged and highly appreciated! thank you ♡
⋆ series masterlist ⋆ steve rogers masterlist
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as days turned into weeks, y/n found herself seeking comfort in steve's company more often than not. with each passing day, their conversations grew more comfortable, and the weight of her heartache seemed to lessen just a little.
they talked about everything and anything, sharing stories, laughter, and even a few moments of comfortable silence. y/n found herself opening up about her dreams, her fears, and her plans for the future. steve, in turn, shared his own aspirations and reflections.
"hey, y/n," steve called out, his voice gentle yet carrying a note of curiosity.
y/n turned, a surprised smile forming on her lips when she saw steve approaching. "hey, steve. just finished a bit of a workout."
steve nodded, his blue eyes scanning her face. "you okay? you looked lost in thought there."
y/n sighed softly, her shoulders relaxing as she met his concerned gaze. "yeah, i guess i've just been going through a lot lately. trying to keep myself occupied, you know?"
he understood the sentiment all too well, given his own history of seeking comfort in physical training. "i get it. sometimes it's good to have a way to clear your mind. you can call me if you want... company to workout, i mean."
she chuckles, "yeah... if i ever need a new punching back, your number will be the first one i'll be calling." y/n says as she grabs her workout bag from the floor and starts to walk away.
"well, speaking of things that might make you feel better, i was wondering if you'd be up for something." he spoke louder to get her attention.
"of course! what is it?" she stopped in her tracks to start paying attention to the super soldier coming to her diction.
"there's a dog adoption fair happening this weekend and i'm invited to help as... you know, captain america... anyway, uh, would you like to go too?" steve said while fidgeting with his water bottle, afraid the other avenger could sense his nervousness but y/n's excitement completely blinded her.
y/n's eyes lit up with excitement. "A DOG ADOPTION FAIR??" she squealed.
steve smiled, encouraged by her enthusiasm. "i thought you might like it. you're such an animal lover, and-"
she jumped and hugged him, "YES! oh my god thank you yes i'll go with you. you have no idea how much i love dogs."
"i'm getting an idea of how much" he said, patting her waist but lingering a little bit longer.
"sorry" she said, embarrassed, letting go of him. "and i'm so sorry i'm sweaty"
steve let out a soft laugh, "it's ok, i'll get a work out in now anyway"
y/n gave him a pressed smile, "ok, uhm... send me the details then?"
"yeah, sure!"
they said their goodbyes as y/n practically skipped away. steve couldn't help but feel a sense of joy himself, her genuine enthusiasm was infectious. with a contented smile, he pulled out his phone and sent her a message with all the information.
the weekend had finally arrived, and y/n's excitement was palpable as she got ready for the dog adoption fair. She stood in front of the mirror in her room, adjusting her outfit and trying to find the perfect balance between comfort and style. the fair was just a short while away, and she wanted to make sure she looked presentable.
as she put on the finishing touches, she heard a knock on her door. she crossed the room and opened the door to find steve standing there, dressed in his full captain america suit.
her eyes widened in surprise, "hey... what are you doing here?" she said, letting out a chuckled laugh but quickly slapping her mouth.
steve looked a little taken aback by her reaction. "i came here to pick you up... what's so funny?" he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.
y/n put her hand down from her mouth, but a smile still played on her lips. "it's just... the captain america in full uniform"
steve's brows furrowed slightly, and he couldn't help but chuckle. "we've been on missions together with me wearing this suit all the time. what's so funny?"
"it's just that... it looks a little out of place outside of a mission context." y/n's laughter subsided, and she smiled at him warmly. "But don't get me wrong, you look great buddy!" she said patting him on his shoulders like a child.
he grinned, rolling his eyes playfully. "i can't win with you, can i?"
y/n chuckled again and crossed her arms. "you win all the time, cap. it's just a little different seeing you like this in civilian settings."
he shook his head, "fair enough", a fond smile on his lips. "you ready?"
y/n nodded enthusiastically. "absolutely! and i promise not to burst into laughter when we're there."
steve chuckled. "i appreciate that."
the dog adoption fair was in full swing, and the atmosphere was filled with excitement and joy. y/n and steve had arrived together, and their presence only added to the event's liveliness.
steve, dressed in his full captain america suit, had become an instant hit among the attendees, especially the children. his charismatic smile drew people towards him like a magnet. he was a natural with the dogs, his gentle demeanor instantly putting them at ease.
y/n found herself busy helping people take pictures with steve, ensuring that everyone got a chance to capture a memorable moment. she laughed as kids lined up, waiting for their turn to stand beside him. grabbing the parents phone, she snapped photos of the heartwarming interactions between steve and the children.
"say CHEESE" y/n called out, her grin matching the children's enthusiasm.
steve crouched down, his shield by his side, as he posed with a wide grin. "CHEESE"
"thanks for doing this, cap!" a father said, shaking steve's hand.
steve's eyes sparkled as he replied, "it's my pleasure."
the children cheered and giggled, their faces lighting up with joy. steve's genuine connection with them was evident, and y/n couldn't help but admire how effortlessly he brought smiles to their faces. amidst the laughter and excitement, her gaze often found its way back to steve, who was already smiling at her. she reminded herself that she needed to focus on the dogs and the event, not get distracted by her growing fondness for steve. after all, they were just friends, and she didn't want to complicate things further, she thought.
however, there was one challenge that y/n couldn't ignore. every time she walked past a dog in need of a home, her heart melted. each wagging tail brought a smile to her face.
steve slowly walked up to her while she was holding a puppy, "you know, you can't have them all y/n" he said, earning a playful pout from her.
"i know!" she replied, rubbing her face on the dogs fur. "it's just... they deserve loving homes."
a fond smile on his lips as he watched her interact with the dog.
"and they will find them, with or without us adopting them all."
"yeah... but i would chose the adopting them all ourselves option if you wouldn't mind."
steve laughed, "i think it's a great idea but i don't think the rest of the tower would agree."
y/n rolled her eyes but agreed with a smile on her face.
"though i have to say, you'd make one heck of a dog mom," steve teased.
"STOOOP! don't give me ideas."
he chuckled softly, his gaze lingering on her. "you just have a big heart, that's all i meant."
y/n met his gaze, her heart fluttering at the sincerity in his eyes.
as the day went on, y/n found it harder to focus on anything other than steve. she caught herself stealing glances when he wasn't looking. she watched as he patiently listened to children's stories, posed for countless pictures, and interacted with the dogs as if they were his own.
each time she caught herself, she reprehended herself for feeling this way, especially given her recent breakup with bucky, especially for the fact that he is her exes best friend.
eventually, she allowed herself a moment to appreciate the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled and the genuine laughter that escaped his lips.
as the sun began to set and the event came to a close, y/n and steve shared a quiet moment. they leaned against a nearby railing, watching as families left with their newly adopted furry friends.
"you did amazing today, steve," y/n said with a soft smile.
he looked at her, his blue eyes warm. "it was a team effort. you helped make today special for a lot of people too. mine included."
y/n's heart swelled. as they stood there, side by side, she couldn't help but feel joy.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
#taglist: @yoruse @pattiemac1 @mrsevans90 @lauraashley93 @ozwriterchick @elthoughtzos
#bê.txt#txt#steve.txt#steve rogers#steve rogers fanfic#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers au#steve rogers x you#steve rogers x y/n#steve rogers x female reader#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers one shot#steve rogers series#steve rogers fluff#healing hearts
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NOVEMBER 2023 WRAP UP
[ loved liked ok no thanks (reread) DNF ]
The Moonstone • Chaos Terminal • (The Raven Boys) • The Ghosts of Trappist • (Fugitive Telemetry) • From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler • The Art of Destiny • The Bell in the Fog • (Exit Strategy) • Who Goes There? • Salt Magic Skin Magic • The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up • (Dracula) • (Rogue Protocol) • The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store • The Boneshaker • The Archive Undying • (The Scorpio Races) • Camilla
Total: 18 (audiobook: 15 / ebook: 3)
I started my month off by finishing my reread of The Scorpio Races on November 1, as is right and proper :) This has consistently been my favorite of Maggie's books, and it never feels right the years that I haven't reread it. I think I hit the right method this year and rather than binging it or following a structured reread (which would be cool, if you could match the timeline of the book) I listened to the audiobook on and off throughout Oct and finished it off in one last burst one the 1st. I think this is some of Maggie's best writing, but I also admit I am no longer able to judge this one objectively and will save you all the sales pitch for now :)
The Archive Undying was...confusing. It wasn't that I couldn't follow what was happening on the sentence level or in the immediate present, but try zooming out to the larger picture and I was lost. It was hazy, very much like a fever dream. I would not be opposed to trying some of the author's other work in the future, but I have no interest in revisiting this book/series, and wouldn't really recommend.
The Boneshaker has been sitting on my bookshelf for years ever since I picked it up at a library book sale, and it's managed to survive every shelf purge since. And I'm glad it did! It's a strange MG/YA book about a girl, her bicycle, a small western town just off a crossroads, a snakeoil salesman, his medicine show, and deals with the devil. It was fascinating! I've been almost tempted to send a copy to Sydnee McElroy just for fun. I will definitely be investigating the author's other series.
The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store - I got tempted into this one because the Book Riot Podcast couldn't stop singing it's praises, and then it started making some of the year end/best of lists and... it's ok I guess? I don't really get the hype, tbh, and I got close to DNFing because it just wasn't interesting. I was at least forewarned that the "murder mystery" in the marketing was overblown, but I am here to tell you to ignore its existence completely. There is no mystery, there isn't really even a murder, and it doesn't happen until the end of the book anyway. I fully admit this was just not a book for me, and anyone who wants to read it I wish you well.
Not much to say about my Murderbot reread, other than choosing to give the audiobooks a break and rereading in a text format was an excellent choice, I really feel like I've picked up on a lot of things I didn't before, and it gives me time to think about things (I have some questions about the actual irl existence of rogue secunits, tbh). This is my second full time trough the series, and I think Exit Strategy is maybe the weakest solo link in the original quartet, but that makes me very happy to have the newer books as well. And I have to say it, FUGITIVE TELEMETRY IS BETTER IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.
Dracula Daily wrapped up this month, so I'm probably not the only one to have Dracula show up on their reading list. I listened to most of it via RE: Dracula, which I appreciated so much for helping keep me on track this year. I probably won't follow along next year, but big thanks to everyone for helping me learn to enjoy a book I hated both times I had to read it for school! I'll still be percolating that Greenwing & Dart AU somewhere in the back of my mind in the meantime.
I picked up the idea of "sparking joy" from the general internet and have found it hugely helpful in letting go of things in life, so I've been meaning to pick up The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up for a while, and was finally spurred into it when I picked up a copy at goodwill. I found some actionable advice in Kondo's method, but sooo much of the book felt like a sales pitch on how following this method could fix everything wrong in your life (and I mean *everything*). It left a very bad taste in my mouth - I think a workbook or checklist could be useful, but wouldn't recommend the book itself.
Salt Magic Skin Magic is a historical fantasy with magic, adventure, and a gay romance, which is so entirely in my wheelhouse. It hit all the same points I tend to find/enjoy in KJ Charles' work, and I had such a good time reading this - no surprise, apparently she helped edit this! Thanks to the HOTE discord group for reccing this one, I'll definitely be checking out some of the author's other work!
If you didn't know, Who Goes There? is the short story that the movie The Thing was based on - which I have not seen, but I went on a brief dive into antarctic exploration/horror in anticipation of this month's book club (All the White Spaces, which I actually read for last month but that meeting got delayed) and this popped up pretty quickly. It was available from the library and short, so why not?! The beginning felt a little rough, but I would have loved to see the tension of the main plot drawn out even longer. Liked this a lot better than the actual book club book, but I don't know that I'll watch any of the adaptations.
The Bell in the Fog - Lavender House sequel! I was so glad when this was announced; I love queer books, historical books, a mystery with a lead who actually does some detecting, and a character trying to find themselves and their community? Absolute catnip for me. It also doesn't pull its punches about the violence and injustices faced by the queer community, so it's definitely a bit darker than my usual tastes and will have to try hard to make it onto my favorites list. But if the author continues to write these I will absolutely pick them up.
The Art of Destiny - bless the library for not dragging their heels on the audiobook for this sequel, but lucky me, they did finally add the first book in time for me to get them both in the same year. Unlucky me, this does not appear to be the end of this series D: third book when??? Anyway, I won't deny that these books move a little slowly, but when they move, they move. If you want a big fantasy that's diverse, funny, cartoonish but epically violent, has a cast of all ages, and centers it's story on non-romantic relationships - this is so good, come join me in wailing for a book 3 announcement.
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler has lived in the back of my mind for a while as a favorite childhood book of a booklr friend who is sadly no longer on tumblr, but who I say hi to occasionally on other sites - anyways, I found a copy at goodwill and took it as a sign. This one's for you, Lourdes! If I'd found this as a kid, I probably would have reread it a lot, that's how I was too lol. For now, it was a fine read, but I don't think it'll have a lasting hold. Any fans interested in more middle grade about fine art might check out the Chasing Vermeer series by Blue Balliett.
The Ghosts of Trappist - I think it's impossible for me to not enjoy myself reading this series (NeoG), but this one was a bit of a backslide from the improvements in book 2. On one hand - a very ambitious plot, probably the least soap-operaish of the bunch, and I loved the emotional arcs (and the possible ART/murderbot reference?). On the other - over a dozen pov characters is too too many. my god. I think a tighter focus could have done a world of good, but if this is also where the series wraps up I'd be totally satisfied. I'll definitely check out the author's other series.
I admit, rereading The Scorpio Races sparked something in me and now I'm determined to set off on a full Maggie Stiefvater read/reread, starting with The Raven Boys. I really loved this when it first came out, but my interested petered out as the series progressed and I started college, and I haven't touched the spinoff yet. My impression from the first book is still that Maggie's writing is so goddam beautiful. Her sentences make me want to weep, but for me there's so much focus on the line that I'm constantly losing track of the big picture. I'm still enjoying myself, but I feel like I'm coasting a lot on nostalgia and aesthetic between moments of a story - though is it me, or does she write a lot in scenes/vignettes, rather than a constant flowing story? I've found some success in centering myself by imagining the scenes as depicted by a CW supernatural teen show of my high school years and it's quite lovely, actually - I can't believe the TV show plans got dropped and never picked up again. We'll have to see how the rest of the series goes.
Genuinely, I can't believe that I read Station Eternity earlier this year and that the sequel, Chaos Terminal, is out already. Despite liking the author's first book (Six Wakes) and normally liking the tropes they're playing with here, I did not like the first book. No idea why I read the second one then (hope?), but it was better, definitely! I still didn't like it. No idea if I'll finally call it quits on this series or get lured into another one if it gets written.
The Moonstone was an unexpected surprise! I made it to November still 2 books short on my 6 classics challenge and panicked when the first one ended up dnf'd - what if this one was bad too??? But I really should know better, give me a half decent mystery and entertaining characters, and I'll be fine. And it was epistolary! I had a good time groaning over all of the characters foibles and quirks, even if I spent the whole time just going, Hey Guys? you could avoid all of this if you just let the nice Indian men have their diamond back. Good fun if you like a mystery and have some patience.
My only DNF this month was the previously mentioned classic - from the moment I decided on a classics challenge, I knew I wanted to try something by Frances Burney given how much I liked her novel Evelina. Unfortunately for me, the only one the library had on audiobook was Camilla... and it was 37 hours long. I gave it a shot, but only made it about 3 hours in. I really do applaud Burney for her ability to create characters who are intentionally/unintentionally causing harm even if they sometimes have the best of intentions. It's absurd, truly, but I'm not in a place I can take that right now - especially since the victims were children, and it happened *repeatedly*. I think if I was to try this one again I'd need to take it slowly in small parts.
Am I horribly wrong about anything? Do you have any classics you'd recommend for next year?
#bec posts#book log#2023#wrap up 2023#books#booklr#book review#the moonstone#midsolar murders#the raven boys#murderbot#neog#the ghosts of trappist#from the mixed up files of mrs basil e frankweiler#the art of prophecy#the art of destiny#wesley chu#the bell in the fog#who goes there?#salt magic skin magic#the life changing magic of tidying up#the heaven and earth grocery store#the boneshaker#kate milford#the archive undying#the scorpio races#frances burney
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Chenford + Chris Returns..
Please note - this is not part of the one word prompt series. I'll be posting more of those tomorrow.
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"Well Chris is back from visiting his family in Chicago. I saw him outside the station as we came back after that op. He looks tan and relaxed. We nodded at each other."
Lucy looked up from the carton of noodles she was currently stuffing in her mouth and tried to speak but ended up sounding like a parent from a Charlie Brown special.
Tim chuckled and said, "Babe, please finish chewing and drink some water before you try to speak. We don't need me to do the Heimlich again , do we?" He was gleefully referring to the lunch services the other day when he performed the life-saving procedure at their favorite noodle place. The restaurant patrons gave him a round of applause (freaking applause!) after a chunk of shrimp shot out of the woman's esophagus. Lucy shook her head at the memory. She would have given him more grief about it, but the restaurant took his picture and put it on the wall and gave him a GOLD card which meant free noodles for life. She wasn't about to complain about that perk.
They still paid for their noodles (cops don't get freebies!) like the spicy kung pow ones was shoveling into her mouth now.
With her mouth finally clear, she asked, "Do we want me to tell him about "us,” you know be up front about it like grown ups? So he doesn't hear it from the grapevine? Better to control the narrative?"
Tim sighs. While he loves Lucy's perpetual optimism, he doesn’t see her more recent ex responding well to her moving on within an hour after breaking up with him. Tim is not sure anyone could spin that narrative in a positive way.
Instead he simply says, "it's your call. But i would expect everyone to know after he finds out. Our sneaking around bubble will have burst. Are you ok with that?". I will have a back up plan in place if anything goes wrong, ok?
Lucy grabbed his hand and said, "I'm not going anywhere and honestly, I don't care who knows that."
====
Lucy doesn't actively seek Chris out, so it's a few days later that she sees him come out of an interrogation room with Wesley. Wesley, who along with Angela were two people in the "need to know" circle she was about to blow apart.
Chris looked over at Wesley to figure out why he stopped walking and saw Lucy. Their eyes met and while Lucy started to smile and move forward to say hello, Chris takes a step backwards and puts up his hands to stop her, saying "Lucy- please don't make this any more awkward than it already is. You broke up with me remember and no, I don't want to get back together."
Lucy stares at Chris. Her mouth opens and closes a few times but no sound comes out. So she squeaks out, "Oh?"
Chris turns to face her fully and said, "I saw Gloria - my college sweetheart - when I was back home and we decided to give it another go. Our parents are great friends and we fell back into one another easily. She's moving out here later this month."
Lucy's smile grows and she steps forward again to say, "Oh Chris, I'm so excited for you. I remember meeting her when she came to visit last year and I really liked her. Congratulations."
Chris could tell Lucy was genuine and not pretending when she told him congratulations. He wonders at that. "How are you doing?" he politely asks. Hoping she'll say she is missing him and wants another chance, that she wants him to toss Gloria aside and be with him like he really wants.
Lucy blushes and says, "Well, actually, I'm dating a great guy. We got together shortly after you and I broke up and I've never been happier. Which is why I'm so glad you are happy in your new relationship too."
Chris is stunned but not surprised that Lucy is dating someone; she hasn’t really understood how much of a catch she is and it sounds like someone took advantage of her newly singledom to make her theirs. "Anyone I know?" he asks cheekily, running through a list of possible suitors in his head.
Lucy looks at Wesley and takes a deep breath, "Yes, actually. The new Metro Liaison Sergeant and I are dating. I've known him for several years and he asked me out as soon as he knew I was single."
"Yes, I heard there was a multi-departmental promotion-shift resulting in a new serg - wait.... isn't Tim the new Sergeant for Metro? Are you dating Tim? (Lucy's smile broadens and Wesley takes a step back). "WHAT THE FUCK LUCY?! WHAT. THE . ACTUAL. FUCK?" Chris is shouting at Lucy and Wesley steps in between as Chris starts to charge at her, red-faced and menacing.
At that moment, Wade Grey steps forward and sees the shock on Lucy's face along with hearing Chris's expletive filled yell, grabs each by an arm and forcefully leads them into his office - where Percy West - the head of Internal Affairs - and Tim Bradford, Lucy's boyfriend and Senior Metro Liaison Sergeant are standing. Percy and Lucy smiled at each other quickly, and then Commander West uses his Church Deacon voice to speak to Chris with authority.
"ADA Sanford - you will no longer address Officer Chen. You will address me - Commander West. Are you paying attention?" Not waiting for Chris to respond, Percy says, " For the record, please state your issues with Officer Chen. I'd love to hear them."
Chris, seething with resentment and hurt, glances around the room to find four people staring at him. Waiting for an explanation.
Lucy had moved to stand next to Tim and was holding his hand. Chris lashes out again towards Lucy, 'YOU CANNOT BE FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW - HE IS YOUR BOSS. YOU CANNOT BE HOLDING HIS HAND." Tim makes a movement forward to address Chris directly, until Commander West holds up his hand and stops him.
Percy again says, "ADA Sanford - I repeat - you will address me and not Officer Chen. I will not give you another warning. What are your specific accusations towards Officer Chen?
Chris turns to face Commander West and sneers at Lucy, saying “Officer Chen is a disgrace to the uniform. She fucked her boss and had a secret affair with him while she and I were dating. She withheld affection, and love from me, knowing I was in love with her. Everyone sees the way they look at each other. How she pants after him and he pines for her. Both of them are disgusting and should be punished.”
Commander West says “Is that it?”
Chris replies, “isn’t that enough?”
Percy walks to Sergeant Grey’s desk and says, Mr. Del Monte? Did you get all that? I wanted to reiterate to you that Officers Bradford and Chen’s relationship was investigated more thoroughly than normal because Bradford was her training officer. As I mentioned to you earlier this week, we found no evidence of any wrong doing by either of them. Unsurprisingly, they maintained a professional relationship while in the office and have noted their change in relationship status. Additionally, Officer Bradford moved out of Officer Chen’s chain of command as soon as he was able to do so. IA and HR are fine with their relationship status change.”
DA Delmonte from his office across town, speaks up and addresses Chris directly, “thank you Percy. That matches our findings as well.
ADA Sanford, effective immediately, you will no longer be managing cases based out of mid-Wilshire and are being transferred to downtown Ventura traffic court. Your recent promotion has been revoked and you only still have a job because both Officer Chen and Officer Bradford spoke so highly of you. Please take the remainder of the day to clean out your office here and report tomorrow to DA Simpson at the Ventura courthouse at 8 am.”
The call was disconnected. Percy walked over to Lucy and gave her a hug before leaving. Tim leans down and kisses Lucy as if his life depends on it. He then shook Wade’s hand and left. A blushing Lucy smiled at Grey and said, “thank you” before turning to Chris a final time. “Good luck with Gloria. I hope everything works out for you both.” She nodded at him and headed out as well.
Chris stood there shocked. He turned around and saw Sgt. Grey glaring at him.
“Son, get the fuck out of my office before I throw you out.”
———
#chenford#tim bradford#lucy chen#the rookie#tim x lucy#i love them#wade grey#f*cking chris sanford#ask andrea#andrea writes#not 100% happy with it#but it went where it went#not a spec fic
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Okay so the year is ending (October but anyways) and I don't think I'll be starting any new series or shows soon so here's a summary of what I've seen and my opinions on them
1. Blue Bloods
Watching this because Donnie Wahlberg is here (I'm an NKOTB fan so...) overall good, very entertaining and the characters are easy to love and enjoy in my opinion. I always look forward to the family dinner scene. I however don't always agree with some of the scenes and what is said in them but the family aspect is what I enjoy most.
2. Shameless
I stopped watching around season 5 not because I didn't like the show I have the intentions of finishing the show however I got busy. Started watching after seeing Iron Claw and wanted to see more from Jeremy. In general my favorite season so far is the third one and I think the overall acting is AMAZING this is a great cast
3. The Bear
I think y'all can guess why I started watching but also a friend of mine kept recommending me this show so I was like ok I'll give it a try. This show is brilliant so entertaining, funny and immersive even every time I watch I just feel so into this world and the acting is always on point.
4. Abbott Elementary
I saw some clips on Instagram and TikTok thought it was hilarious and now I'm giving the whole a watch and it's been such a funny delightful experience this show just brings joy, I'm only on season 1 though can't wait to see the rest.
4. Modern Family
Just like Abbot saw some clips on social media and I was like I have to watch the whole thing. So I'm in that process I'm halfway through season 1 and I'm obsessed so funny! I love Cam, Gloria and Phil
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I did it. I finished Sonic Underground. It sure does exist.
Honestly I don't have any strong feelings towards this one. I like the characters, the overarching storyline, but the actual contents of the episodes are kinda forgettable (tbh that's not hard for me in general). There's nothing I'd hate rewatching, but also nothing making me want to rewatch.
I think the most offensive thing about this show are the songs. Aside from the opening being an absolute banger, the music is just...not good. Although am I nuts or did they do a We're not gonna take it reference in Bartleby the Prisoner? I mean it fits the vibe...
Anyways, it sucks the series never reached a proper conclusion, I actually would've been interested in seeing that.
Out of the old Sonic cartoons, I think this one strikes the best balance. AoSTH is super goofy while SatAM is painfully edgy, but Underground manages to do some comedy while still taking itself seriously. I like that in media. Plus, while it made its own characters, the show does a good job balancing it out and not making me question why it's named Sonic. coughcoughSATAM
Still, it's something I'd probably rate a 6/10. I kind of was getting into it at the beginning, but after I got about half way through the series I started getting tired. Felt like progress on the overarching storyline had stalled and it was just stopping Eggman's plan over and over again. I see why I got annoyed at how many episodes there were as a kid. Still manages to be better kids show than modern day PAW Patrol, though.
Anyways, this means the next show on my list is... THE SONIC OVA. ok I know it's not actually a show, but I've never seen the Japanese version and now I've got my hands on a translation, I wanna watch and see if it's different. It'll be a nice cap on this era of Sonic cartoons. Then I'll move onto Sonic X.
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template under read more + musings
TF2: so. TF2 huh. got into it last year. i kinda lost interest because of a tf2 discord server that i ended up leaving in bad terms + no content updates + i didn't do jackshit in the fandom. i made my robot oc blog but unfortunately that one died along with my fixation! oops.
Papa Louie: the ultimate killer of my tf2 fixation. the increasing amount of "Papa Louie lore is CRAZY!" videos in my recommended feed and the eventual release of Freezeria Deluxe drawing in streamers, and then Jerma, was what finally got me to crack and give the games a go. i don't regret it, because i finally joined a fandom that i actively (? the fandom's kiiiiinda dead aha;;) participate it, after like 2 years of wandering around! it kinda faltered around July~August, but after downloading Flashpoint, it came back double the force.
Scott Pilgrim: got the books for my birthday. read them. the graphic novels haunted me for a while because it was so.... different! from what i've read up to that point. i buried it into my subconciousness but the show dug it up again. i'm not thaaaat into it though. it's a background thought thing.
Good Omens: season 2 babyyyyyy, i wasn't as into it as i was in like.... 2021? i mean, back then i read like, a shitton of GO fanfics. i think that fandom is still my most bookmarked fandom within my fic folder. season 2 was great! heartbreaking even. but as i said, i already blew my steam back in like, 2021. i didn't really have Good Omens people to talk with anyways, not that i'm confident enough to find any.
Madness Combat: was around for the 2021 boom, but my fixation came back because of the Makeship plushie thing, fight meh ok. i wonder a little if they were worth it over the Papa Louie plushie when my fixation didn't last as long (it kiiiinda does sting i had to give him up? it would be nice to own official Papa Louie merch ;;) but whateves. they're in my arms. they're very cuddly. i'm getting off-point, anyways i love these freaks, love the action in the animations, i wanna play the game but at the same time i'm not sure how well i'm gonna be able to handle the guns and the killing. eh, i'll manage, i'll live. i guess i kinda stopped being fixated because like i said, nobody to talk to since i'm a little wary about the fandom... uh, i'm sure there are a lot of nice people, but i've had peeks at what arguments people have been having and that made me decide to just lurk.
AVA/AVM: my friend was watching it and they got into it, so i got curious and i looked into it as well. they're cute little ibbly babbles, those sticks. big fan of the Animator vs Animation series especially because awoo.... it advances so much in style in each episode. V and VI especially blow shit out of the water. love it. love it. didn't really bother to get into the fandom though. i didn't see a place to sit down, so i just walked through the merchant hall and moved on. i stare at the wares every now and then though.
HLVRAI: watched it recently. it's nice. not.... really enjoyable enough for me to be a full-blown fan, but whateves. i kinda don't know why that happened to be the thing that all my mutuals were obsessed with throughout 2021 but the only reason i didn't get into it either was because i didn't finish Hal-Life 1 and i wanted to get into the game blind due to hearing that it was "the best game ever that influenced the gaming industry forever". i wonder, that if i wasn't such a wuss, would i have watched HLVRAI earlier and enjoyed it more? we'll have to see with HL2VRAI. i haven't finished HL2 either btw... sigh.
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The Nara Genes Are Hella Strong
Chapter 4
'Mom, I'm done eating so can I be excused from the table?' I signed to Mom after cleaning my plate of food which she glance at Dad as I've never been in a hurry to finish dinner before, I can see from the corner of my eye that Dad tells her I'm writing a letter to Gaara and Kankuro.
'Of course you can' She signs back with a happy smile as she's glad that I remember her brothers and at the permission I ran back to my room after putting my dishes into the sink leaving both mom and dad laughing at the dinner table.
'Dad, I'm done with my letter.' I signed to Dad a little while later after finishing writing what I had left of the letter and rolling it up once the ink had dried before looking for Dad which I find him in his office that he has in the main house.
'Dad! Don't read, it's only for Uncle Red and Puppet eyes only!' I laughed while signing when Shikamaru went to open the letter to read but only to be stopped by me lightly smacking his arm.
'Ok! Ok! I won't open it.' Smiling, he rises his hand in his defense before signing to me and placing me onto his knee, he puts the scroll aside to give to a message bird later.
'Dad, how long will my lessons be?' I asked curiously as I wonder how much time I'll have have left of the day afterwards and that although I want to study on my own I just don't want to do that all the time, I also want to explore the Leaf Village once I'm allowed to leave to compound on my own.
'Two or three hours for now' He said after thinking about it a bit which I give a nod at being leaning back into his chest to watch him work for a little bit before a question pops up in my head.
'Dad, when will I be able to visit the main village by myself?' I remember that having the alliance between all the village helped the technology to grow greatly in the Brouto series and I want to see it on my own.
'When you turn 5 so next year.' Like usual his mouth moves to speck as he signs to me which I have learned to do so myself when learning the civilians sign language and with my past knowledge I know how I sound like because of my deafness, I give a nod which I give a large yawn as I'm still a Nara so making me sleep is more easier then other kids as I soon fall asleep on Dad's lap even although it's an hour before my bedtime.
Next time I open my eyes groggliy to see I have been moved into my bed and snuggly tucked in although a little blurry I can tell it's some time in the night so I stretched out my stiff limbs which I also twist in odd ways causing some of my joints to pop before getting up from the warm bed and wobble myself down the hall, half asleep I use the bathroom. Once done I use the step stool to wash my hands and quickly brush my teeth before stepping down to go back to my room which I got back into bed.
'I wonder when Shikadi will be born? I hope soon.....'
I trail off with that though as I fall back to sleep after snuggling myself back up only to be awaken back up some time later in the morning by my mother gently shaking me like she always does.
'Shikaku, time to get up!' She smiles as she watch as I slowly wake up with my long black hair nest which had grown a lot and now rest by my shoulder blades, after getting me to stand still half asleep she sits behind me on the bed and begins to brush my hair before putting it into her hair style as I have told her that I want it like hers when it finally got long enough to put it up which she immediately become the cooing monster again.
'Dad, is waiting for you in the backyard.' Mom signed once my hair is done which she hands me some clothes to wear during my lessons with him before he has to leave for work so now that I'm completely awake I quickly slip the clothes on and run to the living room where one of many screens doors that leads to the backyard, I see him waiting in a meditation position at the edge of the forest which I quickly ran to him and sit next him.
'First lesson; meditation, it will help you calm your mind and help you learn your own chakra.' I give a nod to his explanation although I already know meditation is important.
'We'll start with five minutes of meditation and after we'll move to the stretching.........' He trails off before continuing.
'One day you may or may not be the head of this clan but no matter what happens you are a Nara and although we are known to be lazy we are also known to be geniuses, a true genius is never lazy no matter what they let others see or believe.' I can see his love and worry about me in his eyes which I give him a large smile in return which he just reaches out giving me the proud dad pat on my shoulder, he straightens back up and closed his eyes while taking a deep breath.
'Meditation will take time to come to you' Dad signs without looking at me knowing I'm still staring at him so I close my eyes and take a deep breath, I don't how to start as I never meditated before just that I have to clear my mind so I start with that first and focus on the feeling of my breathing.
It takes a total of 20 minutes to finish my first lesson of learning the Nara traditional martial arts training regiment since I have told him I don't want to be defenseless which consist of 5 minutes of meditation, another five minutes in odd positions to stretch all my muscles out which is why they're aching right now, five for Nara martial arts and the last five for running laps so I'm sweaty with my lungs are burning as I lay on the ground panting.
'Come, another five of meditation' Dad signed before helping to sit up which I pulled myself back into position as he does the same as my heart is beating up a fierce song, with a deep breath I shut my eyes, once again I focus on my breathing which I try my best to settle but I continue to feel it throughout my whole body causing it to tingle.
'Dad, may I go with you as I want to visit Uncle Sun?' I asked after mediation time is up and Dad immediately knows who I'm talking about as I always called Naruto that, he sighed as he's a little late getting to the office so he might as well take me with him.
'Ok but you know the drill.' I nod before standing up and made my way to the front door with my wobbly legs to pull on my sandals as he goes to talked to Mom where every she is in the house.
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#fanfic#male y/n#male reader#anime#naruto au#nara clan#naruto oc#naruto#naruto shippuden#shikarmaru nara#shikadai#shikarmaru#shikaku nara
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The Reaper and the Death Angel Part 63
A quick sidenote, this is a bit hard for me to write as I can't relate, so please bear with me.
This will be the last few days to have a say in the wedding https://forms.gle/Zp4zc7CjQ7oSr6fs9 in four days the form will be closed so get into while you still can.
Part 62 Snippet 7 - The Victor
Series Masterlist
Contains: Fluff, smut, mild angst, hurt/comfort, non-graphic descriptions of pregnancy and C sections.
8.5 K words
Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #the reaper and the death angel.
“Perfection only exists in babies and pastries.” – Gayle Wray
One hundred and fifty days till the due date.
Ima groaned, "This sucks, I thought the second trimester was suppose to be easy." Sam went to fuss over her and she glared at him, "this is your fault, don't look all sad."
You huffed, "Everything they say about pregnancy is bullshit. You're forming a human right now, nothing is easy about that." You turned to Sam, "and you, stop it. Ima isn't an invalid, she's going to kill you if you don't calm down."
Sam rubbed his face, "sorry, I'm being suffocating, I'll try harder."
Ima's shoulder fell and she opened her arms, "it's alright baby, I just need a bit of space."
Sam happily accepted her hug, "I love you so much."
You sighed, "I need to get to work, I'll leave you to dote on each other in peace."
****
"Ok, what am I looking at?" You looked over the rotten remains while Holt stood by.
"I thought you could tell me, they found them in an old well in Massachusetts. The local sheriff is worried this is going to create some kind of witch panic." He didn't sound impressed.
"Judging by the pelvic inlet, the skull fracture and the piles of beer cans in our pile of evidence, I think it was a death by misadventure, but I will tell you more when I'm finished with my exam." At least you'd be home by dinner with this one.
"Thank you Dr l/n. Also, I think a congratulations is in order, Anvil getting that defence contact is an impressive step." The pride was clear in his voice.
"Thank you Raymond, although I'm sure you'll get sick of hearing Travis talk about it."
****
"Hey darlin, how's your day been?" Jax stood against the door frame of your office wearing his trademark Teller smirk and his oil stained T-M shirt.
"Good, even better now that you're here. What about you?" You could tell where this was heading.
"Good, I got all my jobs done today and Travis said you finished with your post so I'm thinking maybe we could go somewhere more private and talk about the wedding." Talking about the wedding had come to mean something very different.
"The Egyptian room is free, you wanna head down there?" With all the stress of Club life fading, there was so much more time for more enjoyable activities.
Jax licked his lips, "yeah, that sounds good darlin."
You hopped up and took his hand as you left the room, Jax's eyes on your ass as you led the way to the archive. Travis rolled his eyes as you waved to him and pointed towards the door that led to the back of the museum, knowing he would turn the cameras off.
"How much public sex do you think he's seen?" Jax clearly was in the mood to brag.
"I have no idea, I've seen heaps, scientists are freaks." You knew that would get a response out of him
Jax squeezed your hand a little tighter and leaned in close as you entered the back rooms, "oh, I know."
The excitement built in your chest as you crossed the threshold of the Egyptian room. It was the size of a large living room with the bed in the middle and you had to flip in the light as you closed the solid wooden door. Jax's hand moved from your hand to your forearm, stopping you from reaching the bed as he spun you on the spot, "I guess this is the closest I'll get to all those ruins you talk so much about." He leaned in as he spoke, his lips brushing yours.
"No, if you want to go, I can get us out of the country, we can go anywhere you want." You closed the distance and kissed him, Jax smiling against your lips.
He pulled back, his eyes filled with affection, "as long as you're with me I'm happy."
"What's gotten in you? You're sweet talking me like I haven't already given you my heart." You rubbed his nose with yours and Jax stepped towards the bed.
"Nothing darlin, I'm just making sure you know how lucky I feel to have you." He went with you as your knees hit the side of the bed.
"The feeling is mutual my love but don't think I don't know what you're doing."
Jax smirked, "and what is that?"
You gripped his shirt in your fists and shifted your weight to throw him on the bed, Jax bouncing as he caught himself, "you're buttering me up hoping that I'll make your life easy, that I'll let you feel like a king while we fuck in Cleopatra's bed but you'd be wrong."
Jax licked his lips, "I don't know, this feels pretty king like." Only Jax would say that with a woman looming over him.
"Oh Teller you insufferable arrogant. You're going to push me too far one day and I swear I'm going to…."
"You're going to what darlin? You're the one that stressed all that time with Anvil that big and strong beats small and smart when it comes down to it. We're on equal footing now." This was another new development, now that his insecurity was gone, his ego had only grown.
You climbed on top of him and buried your head in his neck, scraping your teeth along his jugular, "now now Jackson, we both know that's not true." You ran a hand down his body to grope his hard cock through his jeans and Jax grunted, his eyes growing hooded. "On the pillows and I might take mercy on you."
Jax didn't bother replying as you stood up to allow him to move. He did, however, recline on the pillows like he owned the place. You swung your leg over his hip and straddled him, raising an eyebrow and shoving his hands away as he went to take your top off before removing it yourself.
Jax's eyes raked over your chest and he licked his lips, "what a view."
You shook your head, "keep you hands on the bed or I stop." Jax's jaw clenched, you knew you'd be in for the next time.
Jax grabbed fists fulls of the sheets before smirking at you, "you gonna do anything about my dick or are you just going to leave me hanging?"
You smiled softly and bent at the waist, pulling him into a kiss before sinking your teeth into his lower lip. Jax chased your lips as you sat back up, you tugged his shirt upwards, "get this off."
Jax sat up just enough to get his chest bare before flopping back down and returning his hands to the sheets. You got comfortable, kissing his face as you made your way to his neck, stopping to nibble a bruise into the skin. You went to his chest next, kissing across his collarbones and down the middle of his chest before kissing over his Abel tattoo then the scars for his prison stabbing.
You kissed random parts of his abs, Jax's breath hitching as you kissed a line down his happy trail. You worked quickly to undo his pants and yanked them down along with his boxers as his cock sprang free. "Don't be too mean to me darlin, you know my heart can't take it."
Jax was powerless against you, he had admitted himself many times. You smiled down at him before dropping your head and licking his cock from base to tip in a flat stroke, then wasted no time in taking his cock in your mouth.
"Fuck." Jax exhaled and bucked his hips as warmth engulfed him. As Jax tried to catch his barings, you ran your hand up his body and dug your fingers into his firm flesh. You took him further into your mouth, pausing to adjust but just as you got comfortable but Jax hit his breaking point and lifted his hand off his bed.
You pulled off him and shot him a look, "what did I tell you about your hands Teller?"
His chest was heaving and his hand moved to your cheek, "I'm sorry darlin, I couldn't help myself."
You shook your head, "yeah, I could tell. Self control has never been your strong suit." You pressed your lips to his hip before pulling off your bra, lifting his hand to your breast, and straddling his hips.
His other came up to join to first one and you sighed as his fingers brushed your nipples, "I'm only a man, you can't blame me."
The kiss was gentle this time and Jax's arms wrapped around you to pull you close, "I'm immune to your charms." You sat up, shoving Jax down as he went to follow you, "don't even think about it." You haphazardly tugged your pants off, and Jax's eyes locked onto the hem of your panties.
"This is doing things for me." Jax's voice was filled with gravel.
You smiled at him and made a show of removing your underpants before swinging them around on one finger "yeah, I can tell. You keep being insufferable, if you keep this up they'll be going in your mouth next time."
Jax swallowed, "darlin please, you're killing me here."
You took his hand in yours and placed it on your inner thigh before raising your eyebrows, "well, I'm waiting."
Jax got the message and slid his hand up further, running his fingers through your slit with a groan, "fuck you're wet. This seems to be doing things for you too."
You sighed, sinking into the feeling as Jax circled your clit, "you're pretty when you beg."
Your eyes shot open at the welcomed push of Jax's fingers, "bold words for the one who's usually the one doing it." It was clear by his movements he was trying to make you lose your composure.
"Careful Teller." Jax didn't stop and you rocked your hips as his thumb found your clit but just as that telltale feeling started to buzz at your insides, you wrapped your hand around his wrist and squeezed. Jax stopped, his eyes going from where his hand joined your body to your face.
You smiled down at him and pulled his hand away, Jax relaxing when he realised it was all part of the game. You kissed him sweetly one last time before gripping his cock and rubbing it up and down your slit, "ask me nicely."
Oh, you were really going to get it when Jax recovered, "please darlin, I want you so bad."
Had he been disingenuous you would have paused but the desperation in his voice was real, "ok my love." You sunk down on him and bit your lip to stop you from moaning as you bottomed out.
One of Jax's hands gripped your hips while the other made its way to your centre, his fingers stroking your clit in gentle circles as you rocked your hips back and forth. Jax's eyes fluttered shut as you picked up the pace and his jaw clenched as a grunt pushed its way out his mouth. You placed your hands on his chest and Jax fought the urge to flip you over a take control, his mind jumping between enjoying this and his ego.
He settled for bucking his hips into you, the satisfaction oozing in as you gasped when he hit your G-spot on the upstroke. You didn't falter when Jax's fingers sped up, intent on not giving him the win as the edge grew ever closer.
'Fucking hell darlin." When your eyes opened, you saw that Jax was looking at you like he wanted to eat you alive, his eyes filled with lust as they moved up and down your body in a languid pass.
You smiled down at him then slowed slightly, wanting one last blow before the orgasm took you, "is everything alright dear? You seem out of breath."
The hand on your hip squeezed hard enough to bruise and Jax slammed into you from underneath, grunting as you steadied yourself on his chest.
You matched Jax's pace, barely holding yourself up as the wave hit, "touch yourself." Jax's word registered and the second your hand landed on your flesh, he was grabbing your hips with both hands and chasing his own high.
Jax let out a feral grunt and bucked his hips one last time before he fell still with his chest heaving. You flopped down on his chest and his arms wrapped around you, "what got into your darlin?"
You huffed, "you might not know this, but I'm used to bossing people around."
Jax chuckled and pressed his lips to your cheek, "I know, I've seen it. You like bossing me around too."
His tone was full of affection and his hand ran up and down your back as you replied, "yeah and you're clearly thinking of me naked every time I do."
"Hey, it turns me on when you go all GI Jane." That much was true by his reaction today.
"I'll keep that in mind for next time but right now I need to go back to work." You didn't want to climb off him, in fact a nap sounded wonderful.
"Ten more minutes darlin, I'll even help you change the sheets." Jax clearly felt the same way.
"You would have done that anyway but you win, ten more minutes." You rolled to your side and Jax pulled you into his arms.
"I love you darlin." His lips on yours were soft as he kissed you.
"I love you too Jackson."
One hundred and thirty-four days till the due date.
"Sam, Sam did you hear me?" He looked lost in thought, "Samual."
His head snapped towards you, "sorry. What were you saying about the wedding."
You sighed, "I was saying that you need to figure out if you're going to call it a night when Jax and I do so we can lock up the property or if you're going to help clean up."
He rubbed his face, "yeah sorry. Can I decide on the day? I'd rather wait and see what the baby is doing."
You nodded, "of course. Something else is on your mind and I just know it so hurry up and tell me before I drag it out of you."
He huffed, "nothing gets passed you. I'm just stressed y/n, I got a baby coming, I didn't think it would worry me so much. I know I should be elated but every new ultrasound photo just fills me with dread. Don't get me wrong, I want this I'm just so scared I'm going to fuck it up."
"How so? It's a baby Sam, not a souffle, they are kinda hard to fuck up." That didn't seem to comfort him.
"You know how little they are when they come out, what if I hold them wrong or miss a feeding or don't…" His voice caught.
"Have you talked to Ima about this?" Sam had been going back and forth from joy to worry since Ima started showing.
"Yeah, she thinks I'll be fine." The warmth he felt for her was clear in his voice.
"Because you will be. This is nothing new for you, you were great with Abel and this is no different. If I was worried, you know I would tell you and I'm not worried. You're not our father, you're not going to fuck the baby up trust me." You placed your hand around him and he leaned against your shoulder.
"How do you not live in fear every second of the day? We've seen how horrible the world is, it's filled with horrors and evil people. How am I suppose get up in morning knowing that I can't keep my child safe?" You knew that worry would never fade.
"Who says I don't. All I know is that I'm going to do my best to prepare Abel for whatever life throws at him, what happens after that is up to the powers at be." You didn't want to dwell on that too much.
"Yeah, I guess you're right. You must be getting sick on having the same conversation with me all the time." He sounded weary.
"No, I'll have it with you another hundred times if you need me to."
One hundred and ten days till the due date.
"How's work been?"
You sighed, "So busy but the grant came through so we're getting more staff soon. What about you?"
Ima mirrored your sigh as her hand went to her growing belly, "we haven't stopped, I swear I must be producing five videos a day now. Between requests and those education videos you suggested we never have a break but at least I'm sitting down." A smile flashed on her face suddenly and she flapped her arm, "give me your hand."
You did as she asked and she slid your hand over her belly, the flutter of little feet patting against your skin, "wow, the baby is kicking."
Her smile grew but she looked deep in thought, "Thank you for being such a great sister, I don't think many people would be ok with their little brother having a family with a porn star."
You removed your hand from her belly and wrapped her in a hug, "I don't care one bit, you and Sam love each other and this baby is going to have a great life, that's all that matters."
Ninety-four days till the due date.
Knock knock
"Come in." You took a deep breath and opened the Chapel door, doing your best to keep your face neutral but it seemed Sam already knew something was up the moment he met your eye.
"I know that face, that's the better to beg forgiveness than ask permission face. What do you want sis?"
You smiled and walked over to Jax as Rat pulled a chair beside him, "so as you know, I'm still writing my book on the Red Pill. Well, I realised that I'm leaving a woeful gap if I don't see these men in their natural habitat but I won't go to one of their hunting grounds for fear of my own safety so I did a thing."
Jax had a terrible feeling, "what did you do darlin?"
He could tell by your face it was bad, "well I went on to one of their forums and told them this place would be a slutfest, those were my words, this Wednesday. My plan is to make sure all the women here are from Anvil and watch them try to interact. The women have already agreed and I already have a small party planned. I'm not coming to ask, I'm coming to tell you that the Club owes me and this is me collecting."
Jax clenched his jaw, "you sure everyone will be safe?"
You nodded, "I'm positive, you have no need to worry."
Sam clicked his tongue, "do you want us there?"
You shook your head, "not you, everyone else can come if you want but please stay home if you feel you can't stop yourself from becoming violent. Some of my guys will be there to play Red Pill creeps so it looks real and one of the gentlemen who you met through your training will play my online persona. I'll be in Juice's Batcave to observe through the hidden cameras and audio and to talk to my plants."
Jax sighed, "you're not even asking permission, you're just telling us how this is going to go."
You nodded, "yes, as I said, you do owe me."
Jax rubbed his face and took a deep breath, "fine but you better make sure they don't come back."
You smiled, "oh, don't worry, they won't, Some of the money's been linked back to a crypto coin that's less than legal and I may have tipped some people off."
Jax chuckled and looked around the room, "I think we can give our Clubhouse to a good cause for the night, all in favour?"
Their hands went up slowly, Sam's going up last with a shake of his head, "alright darlin, you can have you fun."
****
You slid next to Juice with a smile, "I'm surprised you came, I thought this would be too much for you?"
Juice shook his head, "Jess and I want to adopt one day, I need to know what my kids are going to be dealing with." Juice looked over the screen, "it all looks good, you think the guys will be able to stick to the scripts you gave them?"
You nodded, "yeah, they've had plenty of prep. Plus they've all got ear pieces and codewords in case they get stuck. I can talk to one and type stuff for you to tell another person at the same time."
Juice sighed, "I guess this is where the fun starts."
You smiled, "yes it is."
****
"I would pay money, cash money to see this go down with these women organically." You were happy the night was coming close to its end.
Juice huffed, "we met some of them, it would be a bloodbath."
You chuckled, "yes, that's what I'm hoping for. I'm going to give them a bonus for keeping it together, I would have poisoned these fucks by now."
Juice spun in his chair, "you still can you know, they won't be missed."
You groaned, "I wish but the IRS will fucked them better than I ever could."
****
Jax almost broke down the door when the last man left, "is that all you need to get this book done?" His tone was full of rage.
You nodded, "yep, that's the last of it. What's wrong Jackson?"
He shook his head, "can Juice go home?" You nodded, and Jax's jaw clenched, "go home and spend the rest of the night with Jess." Juice could taste the anger coming off Jax as he left.
You placed your hand on his shoulder, "alright, you wanna tell me why you're so angry you're shaking?"
He swallowed, "I have my limits, y/n, I ain't putting up with them again. I get that you are your guys have had to deal with people you want to kill but no one us are trained for that, this night could have gone very different."
You lifted your hand to his cheek, "I overheard their conversations Jax, It's not like you wouldn't have heard the same things said in a Clubhouse before."
Jax's anger gave way to fear, "Sam's got a little girl on the way. Ellie's going into high school soon. How are they supposed to deal with that shit? What if we have a girl one day, how the fuck is Abel meant to make friends?"
You understood his anger now, "oh my love, men like that have always been around and they always will be. I'm writing the book for that very reason. These people thrive on not being known, on having all their tricks hidden from the world. Isn't it better to suffer them for one night, knowing that maybe one day you can share what you've learned and help someone?"
Jax let out a shaky breath, "yeah, you're right. These kind of lessons are going to happen a lot more aren't they?"
You nodded, "we have a child Jax and we might have more, there are things that as much as we'd like to, we can't hide from him."
Jax pressed his forehead to yours, his eyes damp, "can we go home now?"
You nodded, "of course we can."
Eight-six days till the due date.
"Have we ever put on a baby shower before?" Kozik was looking at the balloons like they were in Latin.
"No, we haven't. Sam and Ima don't want much, no silly games or shit like that. Just a nice party, I'm pretty sure they're only holding it to get people to their backs. Now hang the balloons please, this place still looks like the Clubhouse and that doesn't exactly say, welcome to our spring, baby."
****
"Bamboo cotton is better, it breaths more and it's softer."
Jax huffed at your statement, "It's also double the price. As long as it's not flammable, it doesn't matter."
"But their skin is so soft, and their little legs are so fat." No one ever took Happy for being clucky but he was.
"See Jax, Hap's got the right idea."
You were sitting at the picnic tables with Jax, the guys and Gemma, sipping on some fancy fruit drink while the afternoon passed you by.
"When are you and Jax going to have more kids?" There was a moment of quiet, it was only a matter of time before Gemma said something, you had hoped she would wait until you were married.
"Really mum?" Jax sounded pissed.
"What, Abel should have siblings." Yeah, she was doing this now.
"I'm not sure Gem, it might be never. Pregnancy is dangerous, it permanently disables people every day. In the end, it's between Jax and me and I'm the one who has the final say because I'll be the one going through it." You hoped that would stop Gemma in her tracks.
"Please, Ima's doing fine. You're young and healthy, you'll be fine." Things were getting awkward fast.
"Well maybe the next time your son creampies me, it will stick but for now, I think the birth control is doing its job." Even Tig looked uncomfortable but your words had their intended effect.
"You'll come around don't worry, I'm sure of it." She got after that and went and sat with Nero and Bobby, it was a shame she didn't have to sit in what just happened.
"You really went there darlin, didn't you?" Jax wasn't mad.
"Yes I did. Isn't that what people are asking when they're asking about us having kids? That's how the baby gets there most of the time." You weren't going to back down.
"Is that going to be your response everytime?" He sounded worried now.
"Yep, the only reason I wasn't more vulgar was because it was your mother. The last time someone asked I went into graphic detail, they don't come near me anymore." Tig's eyes lit up, "nope, nothing for you Mr, what happens between me and Jax is not for your ears."
Jax sighed, "That's fair enough. But for what it's worth, you'd look really hot…"
You shoved him playfully, "if you finish that sentence, you will never see my vagina again."
****
"Can you go find your brother? Marcus and his guys are here and they want to drop off some gifts." Jax had stayed by you for the rest of the afternoon and you had the sneaking suspicion it was to keep you from having another outburst.
"Of course, I hope they didn't buy too much, they already have everything they need." You were worried it was going to be over the top, apparently, babies were a big thing in the biker world.
"No, just clothes and books like they asked. Last I heard, they were in the dorm taking a break." Jax was looking at you fondly, he had been so much happier lately.
"Of course my love, I'll be back it in jiffy." You hurried off, brushing by the people in the hall as you made your way to the dorm.
You knocked twice before opening, "Sam… OH MY GOD."
There was a scramble of bodies as Sam moved to cover Ima, "I'm sorry, I'll leave you two along."
You walked back to Jax, unsure of how to process what you just saw but couldn't wait because Jax was standing next to Marcus and Marcus was looking at you expectantly, "where are the happy couple? We wanted to drop some things off."
You blinked, "they are busy."
"Darlin they can't be that busy." You really didn't want to elaborate.
"Jackson, they are busy." He turned and looked at your face, and tried to suppress his smile as the realisation settled for everyone.
"We'll wait, free beer is free beer right?" Marcus was trying to not laugh.
"Yes, that would be wise." They head off to get themselves drinks and Jax broke down.
"Teller, it is not funny, I did not need to see that." You rubbed your face as if to remove the image from your eyes.
"You'll be fine, it's not like the baby got there by magic." You wanted to kick him.
"Yeah, laugh it up. The next time I have space in a practical lecture you're coming, you won't laugh so hard then." That didn't seem to stop him.
"You can count me in darlin."
Twenty till the due date.
Jax smiled as he listened to your speech in the background for the fifty millionth time. His station in the garage had slowly become where he spent most of his time. His eyes flicked from the now clean gun in his hand to his phone screen.
You had gotten the nomination letter for the Scientific Services to Humanity award a few days after the baby shower, and Jax had been beaming with pride ever since. He was lucky enough to be able to go with you, his dress shirt itchy as you accepted the medal in your silver evening dress with a smile on your face.
"Lastly and most importantly, I want to thank my Beloved Jackson who has stuck by me through all the late nights and early mornings, my constant support and my shoulder to cry on. He truly is the second best thing that ever happened to me."
He wasn't ashamed at the tears that stung his eyes that night, they had arrived when you spoke of Abel, how you wanted a better world for him and how he was the most precious thing in your life.
"Really Jackie boy, you must be able to repeat that by heart by now." Chibs' tone was full of affection.
"Shut up man. Do you know how hard I had to try to convince her to go? I'm going to enjoy it."
Opie shook his head, "don't bother man, I'm pretty sure he hasn't stopped smiling since they announced her name."
Chibs chuckled, "speaking of the lass in question."
Chibs pointed behind him and Jax followed his finger to you standing there with an unpressed look on your face, "oh boy Jackson, you'd think I was dead and that was the last video you had of me."
Jax shook his head, "I'm just proud of you, plus you looked gorgeous in that dress."
You sighed, "yeah, I know. I was just stopping by to drop off more Anvil contracts, you guys are going to be very busy."
Jax hopped up and met you halfway and took the file from your hands with a smile, "you wanna get a snack with me darlin?"
You nodded, "hell yeah."
Jax searched around for his holster, sighing as he realised he had left it in the office. Without thinking, he lifted his shirt and stuffed the gun down his pants only to meet the look of horror on your face.
"Oh no beloved, don't do that," Jax was taken aback, he could count the times you have called him beloved in public on one hand.
You walked up to him and yanked his shirt up before removing the gun and placing it on the table, "you've had a month of training my love, you should know that's not safe. If you blow of you penis I'll still love you but me and my vagina will be very sad, ok?"
Jax flushed red, he hadn't been this embarrassed in years, trust you to pull something like that in front of half of his brothers, "I'm sorry darlin, I won't do it again, I left my holster in the office."
You lifted your hand to your face, "oh my, this just won't do. If I ever see you do something like that again, I'm going to make you come to the lab and help me with an autopsy of someone who's been shot in the dick, understand?"
Jax nodded, "yep, I'm hearing you loud and clear."
You smiled, "good." You pressed a kiss to his cheek and turned on your heel, "I'm going to get us those snacks, you can sit in your embarrassment for a bit."
Chibs' laughter broke the silence, "you learn your lesson Jackie boy?"
Jax huffed, "fuck off man."
Seven days till the due date.
"Sam and Ima are at the door." They had been coming a lot in the last few days, if only for you to ease their minds about the baby.
"Thanks T, they can come through."
Sam had his hand on Ima's back, he hadn't left her side in the last month and you were grateful Jax was generous with the paternity leave because Sam was a worried mess when he didn't know what Ima was doing.
"Hello you two, how did the ultrasound go?" Ima reached into her bag and handed you a black and white photo.
"Aww, look at that little nose. Not long left now." You handed Ima back the photo and Sam's eye lingered as you went.
"Yes, well as you can see, it's not as clear as yours. We were wondering if you'd let us have another look?" This would make it time number four, it must have been the 3D tec.
"Of course, but only a few minutes since you don't need it." You waved them over to the office and Sam shot you a smile.
"You know the drill." It didn't take long for everything to be set up then you were dragging the wand across Ima's belly. With a few clacks, a steady thump filled the room and Sam's eyes got wet, "you good little bro?"
He nodded and wiped his face, "yeah, I'm great. How does everything look?"
You sighed, "I'm not that kind of doctor but everything looks fine. The baby is in a good position, the heartbeat is strong and he or she has a great head size, there's a good brain in there."
"A good position, does that mean the C section will be easy?" Ima had decided a month in that she wasn't interested in going through childbirth, not that the other option was any easier.
"Yes, Sam, the C section will go fine." Sam must have asked you about it a million times, it's not that he wasn't one hundred per cent behind Ima, he was just worried about everything.
"Baby you have to stop worrying. We're going to be fine." She paused, "do you think the C section is the right thing?"
You handed her something to wipe her belly and printed the better photos, "it's your choice, that's all that matters. However, given that birth complications run in your family, I think it's a good idea. If anyone says otherwise, they can be the ones to push the baby out."
"One of the nurses said something on the way out, I'm still pissed about it." Sam's tone wasn't just pissed.
"Let me guess, something about Ima's anatomy staying the way it was before she got pregnant?" Sam's jaw ticked.
"Yeah, as fucking if I'd put my wife through major.." He stopped himself, "I fucking hate people."
You and Ima exchanged looks, "how about Travis takes you to the cafe and I spend some time with my brother?"
Ima smiled, "good idea."
Ima hopped of the couch and closed your office door on the way out, "Samuel, what is going on now? It's a new worry every day with you."
He thumbed differed over the photo his hand, "I'm gonna fuck it up y/n, somehow I'm going to fuck this up and I'll never forgive myself. I look at her and my baby and I know I don't deserve any of it. I've spent my whole adult life killing, I don't just get a wife and a baby and a happy ending."
It always went back to this, "Sammy, that's not how any of this works. In seven days, you and Ima are going to check into St Thomas and a week after that, you're going to come out with a new baby and everything will be wonderful. I know you're not going to stop worrying so I'll just tell you that as your older, wiser, much more attractive sister, I know you're going to be fine."
Sam huffed, "shut up."
Your wrapped your arms around him and pressed your lips to his temple, "come on, we better head to the cafe before Travis eats all the chocolate cake."
Zero days till the due date.
"Clothes, good snacks, important information and baby stuff all packed. You are good to go. I'll drive you guys and Jax will take the car back to the house. Lyla is at St Thomas as we speak booking your room so we are good to go." Ima was too tired to plan and Sam was a bucket of nerves.
"I'm so hungry." You didn't blame her, growing a baby looked hard.
"Yes, you have surgery in four hours. Once the baby is here, you can eat all you want." You handed Sam the bag and waved to the car, finding Jax in the driver's seat when you got out the door, "hey Teller, what happened to me driving?"
He smirked, "you drive like a mad woman and no one wants that right now."
You rolled your eyes, "fine, but you owe me."
****
Lyla and Opie were there waiting as everyone entered the maternity ward, "you're all booked, the room is really nice."
Jax looped his arm around yours as you followed Lyla and the nurse down the hall and into Ima's room, "we'll be here in about an hour to do some tests, you guys settle in."
Sam had already set up the bed and Ima shook her head at him fondly, "everything's fine baby, stop fussing."
Sam did his best to not look like a kicked puppy but he didn't do a very good job, "you're fine Sammy, everything is fine."
"I just want everything to be perfect." He wrapped his arms around Ima and helped her into the bed before sitting on the edge and lifting her feet onto his lap so he could remove her shoes.
"I'm going to go run down some chairs and update the guys, they should be here soon." Ima flashed Ope a smile and he walked off with a skip in his step.
"You know they don't need to be here if you don't want them to be, you're the one giving birth." You wanted to make sure Ima didn't feel pressure from Gemma to play the perfect old lady.
Ima sighed, "No, I want them here. Plus, I know you'll scare them off if I change my mind."
"Hell yeah I will, I'll even punch Sam for doing this to you, if you want me to." Jax gave you a friendly shove, "sorry."
****
The next two hours both crawled and flashed by and by the time doctors where wheeling Ima off to the OR with Sam in tow, everyone was suitably anxious, "how long will this take?"
Jax's hand hadn't left yours since everyone had settled in the room, "an hour max, they'll call us to the chairs outside the OR doors once she's all set up but we won't be allowed in."
"You ready to meet your niece?" Jax's voice was full of joy.
"I am, are you?" You flopped your head against his shoulder and he pressed his lips to your temple.
"You bet, she's going to be the most loved baby on the planet." His eyes drifted to the door, almost willing the nurse to come in and give you and Jax to go ahead.
"I can't wait to tell Abel, he's been so excited." Abel was always trying to help with things for the baby and the nursery was covered in his drawings.
"Everything's going to be ok, isn't is?" Jax had no worry in his voice.
"It is, don't worry."
****
"Ok, you'll feel some pressure but if you feel any pain please let us know. Daddy should keep his head behind the drape unless he's ok with seeing blood." The doctor had been wonderful through the whole thing and Sam and Ima's worries were always attended to.
"Don't worry doc, I'm not going to look." Sam stroked Ima's face lovingly and his heart filled with love as she leaned into his hand, "I love you so much, you have given me everything I could ever ask for."
She smiled up at him, a little dopey from the drugs, "I love you too Sammy." She inhaled as she left the pressure the doctor talked about and Sam's face filled with worry, "everything's fine, don't worry."
"You have a very caring husband, it's nice to see." Sam blushed at the nurse's statement.
"He's wonderful, he's going to make an amazing father." Ima squeezed his hand and took a deep breath as she felt an overwhelming pulling.
"Are you alright?" Sam had to stop himself from standing up to make sure the doctor wasn't doing something wrong.
Ima gave him a tight smile, "I'm fine, it just feels strange."
"That's because you're about to meet your baby." Right on cue, a piercing screaming filled the room, "congratulations, you have a beautiful little girl."
There was a rush of movement and a nurse appeared next to them holding their baby. Ima reached out and took the little girl in her arms as Sam watched, "she's perfect."
Sam sniffed and ran the tip of his finger over the baby's cheek, "she needs a name."
"There's plenty of time for that, we'll let your friends know the good news and take you back to your room so you can rest. Everything went well and you should heal nicely."
****
You and Jax had been waiting just outside the hallway to the labour and delivery OR for half an hour when a nurse came out, "You have a neice, she's six pounds, two ounces and twenty inches long. Mum and baby are resting but they want you two back in their room once you've let everyone know the good news."
You took a moment with each other before going to tells everyone for the news to sink in, "are you upset that you knew?"
You shook your head, "no, it still feels the same. Hap's going to be over the moon."
Jax chuckled fondly, "I don't think he would have cared either way." He patted your knee, stood up and held out his hand, "come on darlin, we better let everyone know the good news."
You hurried off arm in arm with Jax to the large waiting room, open the door and popped your head in, "Six pounds, two ounces and twenty inches long. Everything went well and the baby is healthy."
Happy glared at you, "what is it."
Jax grinned and shook his head, "a little girl."
High fives and happy shouts were exchanged, it was insane how normal everything felt. You noticed movement in the corner of your eye, Tig was handing Kozik a wad of cash, "did you bet on the sex of the baby?"
Kozik blinked, "we all did, don't worry. We're going to give the money to the baby."
"What's a baby going to do with money shithead?" Happy's joy was palatable in his tone.
Jax's hand rested on your lower back as you addressed the group, "I'm sure Sam and Ima will be grateful you're setting her up for a good future. We're going to go in and meet the little one, once they're ready for visitors, we'll call you guys in."
You walked the few feet the Ima's and room and knocked on the door and Sam opened it a few seconds later, "hey."
"Hey, how is everyone?" You walked inside, Ima was half asleep but paying attention.
"We're all good, you wanna meet my little girl?" You nodded and Sam walked you over to the crib.
"She's perfect." You held out your arms and Sam nodded before you bent down and picked her up, "she's tiny." Her eyes were closed and every part of her but her face was covered in warm clothes and blankets, "does she have a name?"
Sam and Ima exchanged a look, "Audrey, Audrey y/n."
"You named your baby after me?" It was not to cry looking at her tiny sleeping face.
"Only her middle name, we don't need two of you." Sam had nothing but love in his voice but there was worry in his face.
"Have you held her yet Sammy?" The worry grew and it was clear the answer was no.
"She's so small, I'll hurt her." He looked positively terrified
Ima gave you a look and you sighed before taking two steps towards him, "well, now is a good a time as any." He stiffed as you went to pass Audrey to him but you didn't give him a chance to back out, "you'll be fine, you gotta do it."
You all but shoved her into his arms and he stopped breathing, "you're fine, she's fine, see." Her eyes opened and Sam relaxed as he looked over her.
"I love you so much little one, you have no idea." The tears were falling freely now, "you're my little girl."
Your wrapped your arm around Jax and watched as Sam walked over to Ima's bed with the baby in his embrace, "you should have handed her to me first, now I'm never going to get to hold her."
Ima giggled, "you can be the first one to change her if you like."
"That's fair. Are you ever going to put her down Sam?" Jax knew the overwhelming weight of Sam's emotions.
Sam's eyes never left Audrey's face, "Never, now that I've got her I don't think I can."
****
"Hap, stop hogging the baby and give her here." The frustration in Bobby's tone came across even though he was whispering so Ima could sleep.
"He's right Hap, you gotta share." Happy sighed at your statement and reluctantly handed Audrey to Bobby.
"She's gorgeous, you should be proud." Sam had stayed close as Audrey was passed from person to person, always within touching distance just in case.
"I am, Ima did so well." Sam had never felt so much love in his whole life, "I love both of them so much."
Bobby smiled and handed her back to Sam, "she's one lucky kid. We'll go get the other guys."
Happy and Bobby left and Chibs and Tig took their place. Chibs caught sight of Audrey in her little pink hat and walked over with his arms outstretched, "aww, the wee little lass."
She had somehow extracted her fat little arm from the swaddle and was waving it around, reaching out into the world around her, "look at that, she knows who her favourite uncle is."
"I think Hap would have something to say about that." Sam was feeling less anxious by the second, if his brothers had any say in it, she was going to be the most loved baby on the planet.
"Give her here, I wanna hold her." Chibs sighed but as he pulled Audrey away to pass her to Tig, her arm stopped and she let out a scream, "what did I do?"
You laughed, "I think she's just grumpy, she's been passed around like a football since she came out."
Sam took her from Chibs and tucked her arm back inside the blanket before handing her to the now awake Ima, "I'll feed her, everyone else can come and see her later."
You sighed, "that's everyone cue to leave, we'll be just outside of you need us."
She smiled, "thank you."
****
Once everyone had been through, Sam called Gemma and asked her to bring Abel so he could meet his cousin. He was currently walking next to you, buzzing with excitement as you made your way to Ima's room, "you got to be quiet since she might be asleep."
Abel looked at you like you had said the most obvious thing on the planet, "I know mummy, and I got to be gentle cause she's small."
You smiled, "that's right, daddy is already in there waiting for us. Are you ready to meet her?"
He nodded aggressively, "yes please." He snuck under your arm as you opened the door but stopped himself from running to her when he saw her asleep in the crib.
As he got closer, Jax opened his arms so Abel could sit in his lap, "she's so little."
Jax chuckled, "yeah, she's a baby."
"So she can't play with me yet?" He sounded sad.
"Well not like you want but you can talk to her and show her things, baby love it when you talk to them." You knew you had a stupid smile on your face but so did everyone else.
"Can I go get Grandma?" Sam and Ima had calmed down a bit but there was still no way Gemma was going to be alone with Audrey.
"Of course, be quick because we all need to get some rest." Ima sounded exhausted.
Abel ran off as quietly as he could and returned with Gemma in tow, "Can I have froggy please." Gemma reached into her bag and handed Abel his favourite soft toy before Abel walked over to Audrey's crib. He pressed a kiss to the fluffy fabric then reached over the plastic rim and placed it next to his sleeping cousin.
You looked at Jax, who was already wiping his face with the back of his hand, "That's very sweet of you Abel, thank you for doing that."
Abel smiled at his father and climbed back into his lap, "I want Audrey to be my friend and mummy says you should share with your friends."
You relaxed into your chair with a sigh, "I'm sure she loves it very much sweetie."
****
Day turned into night and everyone went home to their lives, leaving Ima and Sam alone with their new baby. Despite you telling Sam that you would be there at the drop of a hat if he called, he couldn't calm himself enough to fall asleep along side with wife and baby.
He sat by her crib and watched as her chest rose and fell with sleep, her little hand wrapped around on of his huge fingers as he spoke softly to her, "you don't know it yet little one but you are going to have such a good life. Your mummy and I love you so much, and your aunt y/n is the coolest person I know. And you have so many aunties and uncles who love you so much." He felt overwhelmed with emotions, there was so much he wanted to tell her.
Ima's hand on his back brought him back to earth, "come to be baby, you need rest."
Sam twisted around and brought her hand to his lip, "I'm just going to stay up a little longer, just to make sure she's ok." Ima mumbled a reply but Sam was too busy watching Audrey to notice. He leaned over and pressed his lips to her forehead, "sleep tight little one, I love you with all my heart."
Part 64
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