#ok i ran out of answers but i still feel like i barely scratched the surface

[leomantis]

As we enter into the last week of the year...

[oceantornadoo]

bad day (simon riley x reader, best friends to lovers)

honestly, you should have seen it coming. staying in a safe house with four men who have never ending stomachs? but today, it was the last straw.

“you ate my last cookie?”

soap’s face dropped, jaw open. your voice was on the verge of breaking, tears forming in your eyes. you never showed this much vulnerability in front of the team, and he was flabbergasted. he shot a look at gaz, who was equally as confused. “‘m sorry, bonnie, i didnae ken-“ you pushed your hands on the table, shoving your chair back and out. “it’s ok. gonna take a nap.” you were wiping your eyes furiously, feeling unstable. first you got your period four days early (asking price to add pads to the shopping list was something you never wanted to experience again), then you couldn’t find your heating pad, and now your cookies were out? maybe it was the hormones, but you were done.

“oof.” you had ran into a thick wall. scratch that, the wall was moving. your vision was blurred by tears you refused to shed that you didn’t even realize it was your closest friend ghost. “dove?” you hiccuped. why did he always have to be so nice to you? gruff and mean-sounding to everyone else, but an avid listener and sweet talker when it came to you. “jus’ trying to get to my room, didn’t see you. sorry l.t..” you tried to maneuver around him, but unfortunately a 6’4 machine of a man did not move easily.

“why you cryin’, baby?” shit, simon did not mean to call you that. he did not want to have this conversation right now, especially when you looked like you were about to break down. you were always so strong, having to work ten times harder as a woman in the military, and he was always careful to not undermine you or your struggles. unfortunately, that landed him firmly in the friendzone for the past year, unable to confess his feelings without breaking your trust. he maneuvered you to the closest room, which happened to be his. he sat down on the bed, intending to sit you down next to him, but instead you still stood, walking in between his parted legs.

“‘m sorry, just on my period and everything hurts and it’s all hitting at once.” your eyes were red, avoiding his. he could see you were in pain, and as someone who had endured enemy torture and the hardest forms of training, his heart never hurt as much as it did now. he reached a gloved hand towards your face, brushing away your tears. his other hand came to your lower belly, rubbing circles over your clothes. “shhh, ‘s okay. you wanna sit down?” you shook your head in disagreement. you felt like a child, but you were never allowed to be weak outside of your own room. for some reason today, you let simon riley see you weak.

you walked around his body and laid on top of his covers, curling into a fetal position. he let you get comfy, finding a way to lay down that lessened your cramps. finally, you were done moving. “si?” you never called him that unless you absolutely needed him. he got up and locked the door, not wanting to disturb your peace. “yeah, baby?” might as well use it now, you hadn’t complained. if anything your face softened when he said it, and simon riley would die a thousand deaths just to see a moment of relief on your face. “will you lay with me?”

he eagerly stripped out of his gear, climbing on top of his bed to lay down with you. he placed a hand on your arm, letting you choose where you wanted him. you dragged his hand under your sweatshirt, using it like a heating pad for your cramps. you let out a soft moan of pleasure and he answered it with a low growl, pulling you into him by the stomach. his thumb caressed your bare skin with small circles, memorizing every dip and valley. he strived to commit the moment to memory, not knowing if you’d ever be this vulnerable again. “feel better, dove?” you nodded, finally succumbing to sleep that had evaded you the past night. he smiled under his mask, placing a small kiss to the back of your head.

finally you were at peace, and all because of him.

[xenizaation]

permanent

pairing: fem! reader x choi san (ft kim hongjoong)

genre: angst, friends to lovers, smut

general warnings: depictions of a depressive state, mourning of partner, self-blame and slight ptsd

sexual warnings: dirty talk, pet names, manual stimulation, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie,

word count: 12.6k

summary: they say moving on is hard. you find that it's even harder when in the process of it, you have to accept your feelings for your friend as well.

less important a/n: ok so this was supposed to be like 5k long 🙃🙃...chile, anyways. uhm, this came from me bottling my emotions up for the last 5 months and I just wanted to let some of my suffering out in some kind of way. even if it is far from what I feel (I feel the need to specify that the events related below aren't inspired from my life, happily so). read at your own discretion, for I have tried my best to make you feel horny and miserable at the same time 🥰🥰🥰 stay safe xoxo

a/n from long later: hi i wrote this about a year ago and i found it in my drafts and hey why wouldn't i post it after not posting something in ages? haha. enjoy! altough it's probably rlly bad and full of mistakes hihi, i ain't reading this again to correct it. i love you muah

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The cold air felt like needles poking at your bare skin. You ran as fast as you could, barefoot in the woods, feeling every little scratch that was tearing open the skin of your soles and staining it with fresh blood. Your lungs were holding hostage a fire as you were inhaling the cold night air, and the sweat you felt dribbling down your face and back was only of help to make you feel even colder. You looked behind, once, twice, and then a third time too, slowly reducing your pace until it came to a halt.

"What am I running away from?" you ask yourself looking around. There was nothing, no one after you. So why were you running for your life? Your heart starts to beat faster as you hear screams coming from deep within the trees. But you don't run. You can't run anymore. You just fall to the ground, embracing your knees to your chest.

"Me!"

You don't turn around. That voice is way too familiar to make you turn around. Your mouth hangs open as you try to scream but no sound comes out as your muffled moans remain drowned in the deepest point if your throat.

You gasp for air as you wake up shaking your head relentlessly, in order to try to snap yourself back to the reality you're in- so your heart would stop beating so damn fast. You groan as you look over at the watch on your nightstand and see it spell 3:37 AM. You grab your phone from next to it and shut your eyes closed at the sudden brightness the screen displays. You manage to decrease it and open your contacts.

"Still awake?" you ask, and you know you shouldn't. He always offers you more than you can give back, more than you deserve. But you can't help yourself. You cannot deny yourself the little peace you still have in your life.

"Yeah, wassup?"

"Can you call?" you hit send and it's a matter of seconds between him receiving the message, him reading the message and then his name popping up on your screen. You answer.

"Again?" San questions from the other end of the phone. You only hum in affirmation. He sighs softly as you lay down on your side, phone trapped between your ear and the pillow. You hear the clicking of the keyboard and mouse clearly, he must be working late again. And yet he always answers. More than many people you've met did for you.

"Tell me a story." you ask once again. For the...well you've lost count.

"You know, one day I'm going to be out of stories," he answers and lets out a chuckle. Bathing in your silence, he takes his time to think about what he could tell you. As he begins, you close your eyes and imagine whatever he is helping you picture inside your head. Be it the times when he was a little kid and used to walk with his grandparents down the side of a river, or the times he was a teen and was always struggling to get out of trouble, San always gave you a vast amount of details that made you worship his each and every story. And they always made you dream something pretty when you dozed out of consciousness with him still talking on the other end. This night was no exception, so when you wake up, you send him a text that expresses your gratitude as always.

"Listen, if you still want a contract renewal you need to publish something within next year," you look at your boss and feel every word he lays out weighing your body down like you're going to fall through the floor. "I get writer's block, I really do. And we gave you time. You took your time. But it's been almost two years now..." his words stop reaching your ears as you're reminded. One year, ten months and twelve days. And still counting. The count will never stop, you realize, as the event it started from cannot be reversed. You will always be stuck in a period of time since it happened.

"You're one of the biggest names here in our publishing house, Y/N. We don't want to lose you but at the same time we can't keep focusing on you if it will be to no avail." he is right. He is always right, your boss. Always had a strategic mindset, and that always helped both of you. Except now. Now he was asking for something you couldn't offer.

"I'm sorry," you manage to blurt out. "I'm trying my best and I know it's not enough." if you had to be honest, hearing yourself say those words out loud made your heart break even more that it already was. Partly because it was true, and the rest? Because it sounded like you were asking for compassion, which you thought was pathetic. You never liked people looking at you the way you caught yourself looking at homeless individuals.

"I'm gonna get something out, ok? I promise you, just please have a little more faith in me. I need you to trust me to be able to do this."

You look up and make eye contact with him. Park Seonghwa was never one who showed compassion. But as his gaze traced over your fingers picking at your cuticles, the dryness of your lips and the shadows of your hollowed eyes, you felt something you grew too accustomed with in the last almost two years of your life.

Pity.

"Come on, let me take you out on Thursday." San pleaded as he was following in your steps down the hallway of the company you worked in. You didn't expect your little trip to talk to your boss would end with this. "You literally have nothing to lose." He completed and you stopped, facing him. You met his familiar and comforting eyes, which always reminded you of a cute fox, and his dimpled smile as he watched you keenly. It has been almost four years since he started working at the same company you did, but since the beginning, you two were more than just work colleagues. It was the type of connection where you would understand each other from simple looks into the other's eyes or where you could easily finish each other's sentences. You liked to consider him your platonic soulmate but you knew that if you hadn't had a relationship at the time you two met, you would've have surely gone out together and maybe made a good couple.

Well...now you didn't have a relationship anymore but you weren't exactly in the right headspace for one.

By now, you and all the rest of your workmates knew how big of a crush he had on you, but you never let it get out of control. You were feeling kind of guilty, to be honest. Knowing that in a way, you were using it to your advantage for your sleepless nights or the ones in which sleep was ruined by nightmares. But you were sure he was getting his benefits from it as well.

"Look, I want to but I really don't wanna be a bitch to you if I suddenly feel like shit." you reply, and in all honestly, it was true. Your mood hasn't been so stable lately, understandably so.

"Well, how about this: if you wake up in a good mood on Thursday and decide it's okay to hang out, you text me, and we do whatever you feel comfortable with. And if we do go out and do something together and you end up feeling like shit then you'll tell me and I'll get you home in the fastest way possible for a human being. How does it sound?"

Not bad. He is giving you every little piece of comfort that you knew you needed but you never asked for. So you agree. It wouldn't be the first time you hang out with San, sure, you never called them dates, because to you they were not. But you knew that for any outsider it looked exactly like that. And who is to blame? You two always worked hand in hand just so well. These no-pressure type of meet-ups you two had always made you feel comfortable so that was why you were considering it this time as well.

Days pass and you spend them stuck in your home, drowning in your bitter memories and your regrets. The taste of guilt never becomes sweet, you think. Not like how alcohol does when you drink more and more of the same kind. No. Guilt only grows in bitterness and in how it burns down your throat, feeling like it swirls all of your insides once it reaches your stomach. In a way, guilt feels like the long estranged sister of love. Both let their essence hover in your mind for however long they like.

As you rise from your bed to make some hot coffee you think of what day it is. Between the mix of reliving the moments long gone in the same apartment you still stand, and the countless intents to come up with something that you could present to your boss, you didn't know which one made you lose track of time more. You checked your phone for a bit of clarity. No new messages or notifications. At this point, everyone knew better than to bother you with their worries.

Thursday.

Well, seems like you had to cancel out on someone, you thought as you tried grabbing the coffee pot on the stove, but lost in your thoughts, you pay no attention to the handle and drop the pot on the kitchen tiled floor as soon as you feel the skin on your palm burn. You swore and quickly took a few steps back so the burning coffee on the ground wouldn't get to your bare feet. You shook your hand trying to get a cold breeze to the inflamed skin but it only made it feel worse. As you stopped to look at the damage you realized it wasn't all that bad, but it sure stung like a motherfucker. You ran your hand under the cold water of the sink and looked to your right. The brown liquid on the ground was expanding, getting in every little crevice in between the tiles.

****

Coffee was getting everywhere. It splashed on the kitchen counters, it was slowly getting under them too. You froze for a few seconds after your mug made contact with the floor, shattering to dozens of pieces.

"Well, that can't be a good sign." your lover said from behind you finishing with a low chuckle. You smiled, turning on your heels and taking in his form. You woke him up, well, the mug woke him up actually. Approaching you slowly, with a slight limp in his walk and his shoulders dropped all the way down, his hair was fluffed up and his skin a nice shade of pale with a few lines from the pillow on his left cheek. He always looked so angelic, you never could put it into words, how it made you feel, seeing him first thing in the morning. It was something that made your insides crazily stir up but made gave you a sense of tranquility, at the same time. That was how loving him usually was. Two opposite sides walking hand in hand. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to him, softly pressing his lips against the crown of your head. You joined your hands behind his torso and inhaled deeply. Your heart skipped a beat as your lungs felt intoxicated with his smell.

"Today is the big day, huh?" his voice was still hoarse as he spoke, every word of his drumming in your ears. You nodded.

"I'm really nervous." you answered and let your forehead drop against his shoulder. He hugged you tighter with the hand around your waist and gently pat your head with the other.

"I know, angel. But it's gonna be alright, ok? Your friends will be there, your parents will be there and I will be there. You can lean on me." he said kissing your cheek. "You know that, don't you?" his face right in front of yours, you responded with nothing more than a slow kiss. A kiss that was rehearsed so many times before that your lips and tongues already knew what they had to do, how they had to move around each other. Sometimes it felt like a dream, how everything came so easy with Hongjoong. How you didn't have to think twice about what you wanted from him and with him. And for all you knew, and all he had shown you across the time spent together, he didn't do that either. Every morning next to him felt like the luckiest one, and every night with him ended just the same. And you knew that if you were to live a hundred more years alongside him, you still wouldn't get enough of his embraces, or kisses or just simply him. There was nothing in the world that could cure the insatiable love you felt for the man in front of you.

As he pulled away from the kiss he gestured with his head behind you. "Now how about I clean the mess you made, and you make coffee for both of us? We have a book launch to attend, after all." you laughed and kissed him again.

*****

As your breath got heavier and your eyes started to burn up you unconsciously took your phone from the kitchen counter.

"a picnic would be perfect" you text your friend. The desire to get out of the prison your house has become, growing bigger by the second.

"Tell me if this isn't an appropriate question," you heard the man next to you say, derailing your train of thought as you directed your attention towards him. The weather is hot today, it really was a good call, suggesting a picnic. You haven't been on one in a long while and you missed feeling of how the calm of the nature overwhelmed most of your senses. Also, you couldn't handle a complicated social situation on this day. So it was perfect right now, laying on a blanket, stranded in a flower freckled field with none other than San. You turn your head towards him. " What made you want to go out today?" he completed, not looking at you. He was laying on his back, with one arm under his head and his eyes closed, as if he feared the reaction you were going to have to his words. You didn't blame him for asking. In a similar situation where the roles would be reversed, you knew for sure you would ask too. After all, you and San were made of many of the same things. " Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you agreed, but it didn't seem like you would." he adds.

"Some days my house feels like a torture chamber." you say turning on your side and facing him, supporting your head on your angled arm. He was so still, you could barely even notice the way he slowly breathed in and out. It was as if the sun was painting his portrait and he was afraid to move, to not mess it up. Every ray that was falling on his exposed skin seemed to caress him the way a lover does.

"And some days it does its job." you completed after returning on your position on your back, mimicking his. "Today just didn't felt like one of the days I'd like to be tortured." you finished and felt his gaze on you right before you closed your eyes. If you thought he seemed worried, you made sure not to address it.

"One time when I was little, I was playing with a friend of mine," you smiled, realizing this is just the beginning of one of his captivating stories. "I don't remember how we got to that point, but he left me in a room and said he was gonna lock me there, and so he got out and he did." a bit darker than what he usually tells you, but still intriguing.

"At first I thought it was fun, that we would take turns locking each other in the room but he wasn't coming back. The room had only one window but it was locked when I tried to open it and get out. So I just waited. I think hours passed, it was getting dark and I was getting worried and hungry, thought I'll be stuck there forever, until it crossed my mind. I never even tried to open the door. Turns out it didn't even have a keyhole."

"San, if you're trying to put me to sleep with this one, just know it doesn't really work." you say smirking, still holding your eyes closed as you let the sun bathe your face.

"I'm not, Y/N. I'm trying to tell you that most of the times, the doors aren't locked. We just think that they are." he responds and you open your eyes to look into his. His look is full of compassion, and a bit of sadness that you choose to overlook. You finally understand what he means to tell you and you realize he is right. But even if a door isn't locked, you shouldn't open it unless you're ready to do so. You gently touch the back of his hand, and he is quick to caress your fingers with his thumb, changing his focus to where your hands are joined.

"Thank you," your words came out more like a whisper than you would've liked. "I know I don't do much for you...but I'm hoping I'm not that much of a nuisance, like I feel I am." he turns his hand, joining his fingers with yours and making eye contact with you. The simple gesture of affection made your head dizzy in a way you haven't felt in a long time. Your heart creaks up a little.

"You couldn't be one even if you tried," he said, his gaze lazily tracing the outlines of your face. You were the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life, even now. Even after all the hardships you've been through, and that you're still going through. The adoration his heart held for you never stopped burning, no matter how much he wished for it to do so. For San, loving you was as easy as it sounded and as hard as it could get. Setting his eyes on the bags under your eyes he recalled a memory that stood like a scar on his brain. Your eyes were so dark that day, your eye bags a shade of purple he hadn't seen on any painting quite yet. Your lips were pale and chapped and your skin looked like it lost all its pigment.

Black didn't suit you so well, he thought. Not when it was worn the way you were wearing it then.

But the worst came when it was time to say goodbye. He still remembered your cries and wails and it made the skin on his spine tremble in its place. Could he ever forget how, on that day, you looked like the angel of death?

Now you looked better...like life was coming, little by little, back into your body, and the pure sunlight was definitely helping it. He should let the sun see you more often, he thought.

You pulled your hand from his when you felt like his eyes were analyzing your features for a bit too long. Rising in a standing position, you started examine the insides of the basket he prepared.

"Oh my God! You brought me watermelon!" you shouted loudly as you took the container holding the red pieces of fruit in it. The only thing San could do at your reaction was laugh, throwing his head back to look at the puffed up white clouds.

Four days since you brushed your teeth, three since you showered, two since you changed your clothes, one since you ate, and one year, eleven months and fourteen days since you've last held the love of your life in your arms. But, hey, who's keeping count anyways?

Time loses all its meaning when you confine yourself like you are some dangerous animal meant to be locked up in a cage. Between the moments you try to stay awake and the ones you try to sleep, you have little to remember. The only thing that gives a little light to the fog in your brain is San. His stories in the middle of the night, conversations you happen to have during the day and occasional meetings that you're always the one to initiate. He always makes you feel good, always picks the right words to say and you don't know how he has the patience for such things. You love and hate him for it. You love him for being such a considerate and kind person, and you hate him for making you forget. It's strange when you get home and reality dumps on you at the front door. The reality you actually live in and not one you indulged yourself to have with San for a few hours. It's just...with him everything is colorful and melodic but when you get home the only thing you hear are your sighs echoing off the walls back into your ears. You wished you could be stuck in the feeling you have around him forever, but at the same time, every time you have that feeling you feel guilty for it. Like it's impossible to allow yourself any sort of break.

The last days have been impossible to get through. All you did was look around at the mess that was around you. A mountain of clothes, waiting to be washed for weeks now, a sink full of dishes and mugs, lots of crumpled sheets on the ground ( proof of all your tries to put something together). Everything was a disaster, inside and out. You had no willpower to do anything about it but you knew that the more you would stay in a shitty space, the more you would feel like shit. So for the first time in months, you opened the window.

*****

He placed the two mugs on the windowsill as he opened the window, allowing the cold breeze of the morning to brush over the exposed skin. He watched you closely as you made sure to turn off the stove and place the coffee pot in the sink. Your eyes met his as you felt the cold air run down your back, giving you shivers. He smiled contentedly at the sight of your body slowly shuddering. The "window" habit was a thing Hongjoong let into the relationship since the beginning of it. It was crazy for you how sometimes you caught him doing it first thing after waking up. You loved to watch him open the window and inhale the morning air with his elbows pressed against the wooden frame. Those moments wouldn't last long, but you treasured them more than he maybe thought about it. There was a thing about this domestic life, and seeing him do his own rituals that had you turn into quite the observer.

"You love to make me cold, don't you?" you smile brightly getting closer and closer, until you reach the space right in front of him.

"Angel, you're so hot in the morning that I'm afraid you might overheat. I need to cool you down a little, don't I?" he says on his usual cheeky tone, the one you grew to love in such little time. As he places his hand on your hip, you take a sip of your coffee. Like your actions served as a reminder of the hot liquid resting in his mug, he does the same.

"I can think of some other ways you could cool me down..." you say as you hook your finger on the front waistband of his pajama pants, sliding it from left to right. He chuckles in his mug and pulls you closer. Your chests rise in unison as you look each other in the eye, you don't say anything but this moment feels like a promise neither of you wants to break.

He looks to his left, at the city and at the people. Taking advantage of the opportunity, you place a few slow kisses on his jaw.

"I want us to find a new place," he says scooping you up as you squeal in surprise. You hook your legs behind his waist instantly while he walks towards the bedroom. "I want a balcony." He completes before kissing you and you laugh into the kiss, thinking of the many ways you two could make use of said balcony. He sure was thinking the same thing you did, giving how he started laughing as well.

His laugh was the only thing you ever wanted to hear again.

*****

You look down at the windowsill and see the brown marks in the body of two circles imprinted on the wooden surface. You always told him to use the damn coasters. Now the wood was stained. Permanently stained. Permanently ruined. Just like you were.

As you get on with cleaning you try to keep your brain busy with thoughts like what you should do after you finish a task, and what you should do after that one is finished as well. You thank yourself for choosing to clean, as you get out of the shower and throw yourself into the bed. Not only does it now smell like flowers, but you're also tired enough for sleep to steal you the minute you close your eyes.

"Ha! Check mate!" San exclaimed from the other side of the table you both were sat at. This was an odd activity that you had never done before. Playing chess, in a park, fully exposed to the summer sun. And you weren't even middle aged. Crazy to see how far the desperation to get out of the house will make someone go. But if it was with San, you were sure that there weren't many place where you wouldn't go.

"Your mind seems to be elsewhere," he said, angling his head innocently like the little puppies do when you tell them not to lick the outlet. His black hair was swooped out of his face, making his cheekbones pop out in a way you didn't think it was more humanly possible.

"Oh, you know damn well I suck at chess, San." you said kicking his queen with your finger. It became clear to him that you were an unfit partner for this game after like, the half of the first match. As the piece made contact with the chessboard, San tittered, making his eyes turn into crescents and his dimples scar his cheeks again.

"You just don't want to learn," he said as he started picking the pawns. You gave him a hand, collecting all the pieces on your side.

"You play the pawns when you still have the queen..." he offered a dramatic sigh as he clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. True, it was more comfortable to lose with the pawns than with the queen.

"How's the book going?" placing the game of chess in his backpack, he made eye contact with you as he pressed his elbows against the surface in between. You sigh.

"It's not," you admit thinking about all the documents you've erased the last month or every manuscript you tossed in the trash. Nothing was coming together and you hated every word after writing it. Not only was this process driving you mad but it also made you doubt all your abilities as a writer. People would expect more from someone who had a bestseller out there, you thought. But it wasn't your job to rise to anyone's expectation.

"Maybe I was just a one hit wonder." you say smiling sadly. It really did pain you to think that you weren't able to do the sole thing you ever thought yourself good at. But maybe, after you lived in a thousand realities in the past two years (as of today, maybe the reason why you wanted to get out of your home so bad), this was your new one. A reality in which you weren't able to write anymore. Fear was not even close to describe how you felt about the future.

"Don't kid yourself, I know you'll make it eventually." San offers, grabbing your hand in his. "You know, you should be the last person who is hard on yourself." he rubs your hand with his thumb. You wish you could pull away from his touch, or to at least want to pull away. But you don't. His touch is comforting and not a lot of things in your life are that way right now. As you look at him there is a sudden desire to punch yourself in the face, for the only thing that comes through your mind is to thank him again. As you did countless of times before. He did say he grew tired of it.

"You know what I'm in the mood for?" you avoid the subject successfully as he rises his eyebrows, showering you in all his undivided attention. "Drinking my sorrows at a shitty bar." you finish off, painting a big smile on your face. He mirrors it as he sighs through his teeth, letting go of your hand. He notices your intention to avoid talking about anything serious. Anything that might actually help you. You always do it, that is exactly why you talk to him only about nonsense and why, when you call him in the middle of the night (and when he always, always answers) you make him tell you a story. Leaving him to be the only one to talk as you doze off. Never leaving room for him to ask you what is wrong or what you dreamed of. Is how you got on until then, and maybe that is why it went so slowly, the whole "moving on" thing everyone was telling you about. But it was the thing that worked best for you, you figured. Not talking about the elephant in the room got you this far, you can go a little more like that.

"Well, I happen to know the perfect place for that," rising from his seat, he extends his hand towards you. "Shall we?"

You didn't know if it was the alcohol or the bar lights or simply just him. Honestly, you couldn't tell the difference between many things anymore, but as you looked at San talking, you felt more attracted to him than ever. The mole near his eyelid seemed more prominent now, and so did his muscular arms under the fitted shirt he wore, and oh, the freckles painting constellations on his neck. His eyes were sparkling brightly and his teeth were showing from time to time. You looked closely as he licked his lips after taking a sip of his beer. The way he was doing it seemed almost erotic. That one part of your brain that would feel bad for having these thoughts has died when you drank your fourth shot, but you were glad it did. You felt more comfortable now, and with San here, there was not a lot more that you would wish for. Not realistic wishes anyway.

"I need to know which side you stand on," he says angling his body towards yours. "Socks on or off during sleep?" San asks with a serious face, as if he asked if you enjoyed kicking puppies in the face or eating toddlers for dinner. You burst out laughing at the mix of the question and his expression.

"Off, I'm not a psychopath." you answer through your stilled laugh. He frowns.

"Oh no, you're definitely a psycho. Do your feet not get cold?" a bit of frustration could be heard in his voice.

"How would I know? I'm asleep the whole time." you sip from your drink. "Don't tell me you like pineapple on pizza as well..." you plead looking at him.

"And what if I do? It's a good combination! It's like mint chocolate, de-li-cious." San smiles proudly at his outrageous statements. Maybe he is not the person you thought he was. God, he told you so much and yet you still knew so little. That was one of the most intriguing things about him. That you felt like a lifetime wouldn't ever be enough for you to get to know him completely. Like everyday he would pick another thing to like, or something utterly new to do so he doesn't get bored. He always told you how he gets bored of things and people so fast. And yet there he was, still by your side. Maybe you were the mystery he didn't get to solve yet.

"Dude, not toothpaste too.." you cry out as you push his arm, but instead of pushing him, you push yourself. You almost lose your balance off the bar stool, but San's quick reflexes kick in and grab you by the arm, pulling you back in sitting position. He cackles as you try to maintain your balance.

"Maybe we should get you home." he says laying some bills on the bar. You hum in approval and get to your feet as you follow him out of the bar, which was indeed shitty. San is a man of his word.

The walk home was short and calm as you focused more on seeming sober than to what was happening around you. It already got dark as you two strolled past the abandoned streets laughing about things you unwillingly forgot as soon as you finished laughing. This moment, you thought to yourself, is the one that you would remember when a certain song plays. One that will give you the same sensations you feel in this moment. And far away from right now, when you know you will be better, when you listen to that certain song, you'll think wow, so much has changed. That moment could happen 10 days from now, or ten years. You don't know yet. But something about this uncertainty makes you relax somehow, knowing that you still have hope. And most of it is thanks to San. He may not be aware of all the things that he is helping you with, but you are. It's like a mental list that you never stop writing on. Could you ever repay him for any of it?

"Here we are," he says as he places his hand on your shoulder and you take a hold of his arm as he rattles on about not drinking anymore and going to sleep and whatever else he decided to nag you about. Your focus is only on his lips, and then his eyes, and his lips again, and his hand on your arm, and then feeling his arm flexing underneath your touch, and the feeling of being taken care of by someone. You realize you don't want this night to end quite yet.

"Do you wanna come in?" you interrupt, and observe his quick reaction of rapidly shutting his mouth and widening his eyes.

"I could use a live storytelling session right now." you add.

What where you asking for exactly? As you looked at him hesitate for a bit, you weren't sure that you knew either. But after a few seconds of looking around, he hums in approval as he nods and follows you inside your home. It's not as clean as you would wish but not as messy as to apologize for anything. You both take off your shoes and walk into the open space living room. Feeling San's presence close behind you, you turn and signal for him to sit down on the couch as you go to a little counter.

"I have vodka, whiskey and some cherry liquor," you turn your head back towards him. He was sitting on your couch now. But not how someone who entered their friend's apartment for the first time would be expected to sit, no. Because he didn't have that posture of "oh, I don't want to make myself comfortable because my presence here is out of place". No. He looked like he fucking owned the place. Like he payed the bills. Like he chose every single piece of decoration there was inside your home. And you weren't mad about it, if you were being honest. The everlasting confidence that was emanating out his every pore always looked good on him. His legs were spread apart, and you didn't forbid yourself to spend more than a few seconds scanning his thighs, thinking of numerous ways you could make use of them. Prominent Adam's apple marked his throat as his head was thrown back over the backrest. It seemed that he moved in slow motion, lazily pulling his head up and in your direction.

"Glass of whiskey would be nice." he answered through a half pout as his hands splayed even more on the higher edge of the couch. Obeying his orders, you unconsciously let his choice be the one you make as well, so you pour the liquid in two glasses. The strong scent hits you immediately, and you know you won't be able to drink it, the alcohol in your system will reject this on the spot if you dared adventure too far. But you decided back when you invited your friend into your house, tonight was the night you were going to test your limits.

You sit yourself on the couch, next to the man you hide your desire for not so well, closer than you usually would. And he seems to observe regarding the fact that he appears to be leaning a bit into you. Maybe it's in your head. He sips from the glass you hand him, licking his lips again, the gesture he did at the bar seems to be hitting you in a certain, already wet, spot in between your legs as it did a little time ago. He hums right after swallowing the drink, you follow with interest the way his Adam's apple moves up and down. Why is he being so unworldly attractive tonight? Is it really the alcohol or has the sexual tension finally built up enough for you to not be able to take it anymore. You feel an unexpected, but not unwelcomed, ache in your heart and stomach and definitely in your pussy. He places the glass down, with careful fingers, on the table before you and resumes his previous stance, except now one of his hands chooses to rest on the thigh closer to you. You admire it from respectable distance, one which you weren't sure you'd be able to maintain for too long. His hands were clean, nails kept short on his slender long fingers, and the rings adorning them only completed the way his veins were traveling down the back of his palm. Will there ever be a time where you could look at Choi San and not like what you see? Highly doubtful.

"That's some good shit," finally his face catches your attention, and happily so. He looks at you through his lashes, smirking with one corner of his beautiful mouth. You wondered how his lips might feel. On yours, on your neck, your chest, everywhere. "never took you for a whiskey person."

"I'm not," you say through a bittersweet smile and you realize that maybe you really, desperately need the alcohol right now, so you chug some of it down. "it's been laying around." you finish the sentence and then the glass of whiskey and you place it down the table, next to his. The contrast of the glasses, one empty and one half full, makes you amused in some kind of way. It let's you reminiscence of the many times that you heard from a certain someone, how you were always rushed in the most unfit situations. It was true.

As you look back to San, you feel like you are left with no choice than laying on your back and placing your head on his lap. So you do, maybe slower than you feel you move in your drunk-dazed mind. As you nuzzle the back of your head into his thighs, you close your eyes, for your vision was getting blurry and the room slowly spun around.

"You can begin anytime." you sigh out and feel him shifting a bit underneath you. He chuckles lowly and it takes him a few moments to adjust to the situation presented before him, it would be strange to you too. These were exactly the kind of things that you hesitated to do with San, because you partly knew his feelings for you, so you didn't want to give too much water to the well. Exactly the kind of intimacy that would leave room to hope for more, want more.

And not only from his side.

"I met this girl a while ago," he starts and softly places his hand on top of your head, massaging your scalp and slowly pulling at strands of your hair. "she's the whole package. Smart, funny, kind and so fucking hot." , safe to say you don't expect his last words to hit you like they do. A tad bit of jealousy makes its presence felt in the bottom of your heart, thinking that there might be a possibility that he doesn't refer to you. But the slow strokes his fingers offer your head make you feel too good to give it any importance.

"She's got this thing about her, I don't know how to even say it. It's like every time we talk, we knew each other since birth and like the first time we ever met, all at once. It's incredible, really." the way he talked was how you only heard people talk in movies. Hopeless romantic to the very end.

"Sounds like she's got you head over heels." you huff out slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, you'd be shocked," silence following his words, words that had a heartbroken nuance to them. He continues to massage your head and his touch feels so good, so comforting, so familiar. Like he did it every time he saw you, like he at least imagined doing it every time. "she really loves my stories." he adds after what seems to be like forever, and his hand stops, pulling itself out of your proximity. Your eyes shoot open and you find his gaze upon you. At the same time he looks sad, his eyes are also filled with anticipation, of what is to come, of how you would react to the fact that he just confirmed it was you he talked about. You sit up, trying not to let the slight dizziness in your head get the best of you and turn to him. Faces close to each other, studying him one last time before things change between you two. He wants it. And you clearly want it. Both of you so bad that it's not even a surprise how you meet halfway into a kiss. You thank the universe in your head, for it being this way. For you to not beat yourself up too much later that you initiated anything. So you let yourself sink into the feeling of him, his smell intoxicating. You know that it will be hard to not feel it in your lungs for a long time after this, and you were happy for it to be that way. Your lips are shy at first, not used to kissing anymore, not used to someone who hasn't kissed you before. But the feeling is more than pleasant. He takes his time, slowly nipping away at your bottom lip, swiftly pushing his tongue into your mouth. Your teeth clash and you both smile, licking into each other's mouths a bit more. His lips are soft and so warm, this feeling has long been forgotten by your mind. He pulls away and you gasp for air, he reaches to brush the hair out of your face and cups your face gently, looking into your eyes with a glimmer you were sure you haven't seen on him before. But you knew exactly what it meant.

"I don't want it if you don't." he says, assuring you once again that his actions will only be made for your comfort.

"I can't even tell you how bad I want it." your voice soft as it answers, and after receiving your words with wonder on his face, San downs the whiskey left in his glass, only to rush kissing you right after he gulps it down. If the first kiss was both of you navigating uncharted waters, now you were both desiring more. Hungrily devouring each other, whiskey tasted so much better on his tongue. You climbed into his lap as he pulled you closer to his chest. Serving as a reminder, you needed to get that shirt off of him. And as you helped him get rid of it, you weren't even surprised of how he looked even better than what you kept picturing all night. He returned the favor of undressing you of your shirt, and briefly cupped your breasts through your bra as he pulled you into another kiss. His hands quickly running to your waist, pulling you deeper into his lap, feeling him get hard underneath you, moment by moment. One of his palms traveled down to massage your butt cheek through your jeans, and the other quickly moved up to unhook your bra deftly with steady fingers.

"You must be popular with the ladies." you whisper close to his mouth and he chuckles.

"Not with the ones I want." he replies and you jokingly slap his bicep in response. He pulls the bra off throwing it somewhere nearby and admires your chest for a second too long before taking one of your nipples in his mouth. You throw your head back and whimper at the feeling of his tongue swirling around the sensitive part of your breasts. You tangle your fingers in his hair as you try to slowly ride his thigh, feeling the need to get rid of the tension in some kind of way. He let's your nipple out of his mouth with a lewd pop and laughs as he glues his hand to the back of your head, forcing you to look into his eyes.

"Darling if you want something you just need to ask," he brings his mouth over to your chest, planting sprinkled kisses along your collarbones. "my thigh? my fingers? my cock?" he asks in between suctions on the soft, sensitive skin of your neck. You were so sexually frustrated that you thought you were going to cry, and his words definitely didn't help. If something, they only made the tightness in your belly feel even tighter. "Which one will it be?" he asks finally as his eyes find yours again. You barely manage a pathetic whimper as he let's go of your head to unbutton your jeans. His hand slides slowly until it meets the band of your panties, but it doesn't go further, his eyes stopping on your face.

"Fuck, San, I want everything." you finally verbalize for him, your words laced with desperation for him to take things further. He closes his eyes and smiles in satisfaction when hearing your words, resuming the attack on your neck, biting down some marks here and there. His fingers finally get a hold of your clit and you shudder at the sensation. The circular motions he starts only make you moan his name quietly, through whimpers. It's been so long since you touched yourself like that, let alone somebody else. Masturbation was a thing you couldn't get back into since everything happened. Every time you tried, your mind only pictured Hongjoong, and it always ended with you crying without releasing in any kind of way. That was how you spent the last two years of your life, no wonder you were sexually frustrated. But now, the only thing on your mind was San, and how you could get him to make you cum faster. The position wasn't really a favorable one, he didn't have much access and so, his movements were limited and slow. San sinks his hand further down, teasing your hole with his middle finger, coating it in your arousal.

"You're so wet baby," he slowly pushes his finger into you, wandering into your inside, and your tightness. It did definitely feel like rain after a long drought. He pumped his finger inside you a few times, adding an extra one after a few seconds, stretching you in a way that has become unfamiliar but satisfying all the same. He fastened his pace and you unconsciously started to ride his fingers, chasing after your long awaited release. It wouldn't last too much, taking in consideration that you haven't orgasmed in so long. Your left hand was on San's nape, anchoring you to some sort of reality that he was indeed there, and the other one was on his chest. It wasn't much longer until your body conjured the estranged feeling in your tummy, you were close. San seemed to read your thoughts once again as his movements came to a halt, you offered a frustrated whimper in return. He lifted you up of his lap and placed you on your back next to him. He helped you get rid of your jeans and then your panties.

"I know you want to cum, but I want you to do it in my mouth." his face in between your thighs, breath fanning over your aching core. This time he didn't wait for a verbal response anymore, and you were glad he didn't. His warm tongue licked a long swipe starting from your hole to your clit, his mouth latched to it with sensual movements, sucking and licking at it, taking all the time in the world.

"Ho...ly fu-fuck," you gasped as you threw your head back into the cushion of the couch, arching your back under his ministrations.

His tongue was skilled, and so were his fingers when they slid inside you for the second time tonight. He curled them up, hitting your g-spot every time he pumped them in. Your body shuddered hardly at the sensation.

"Feel good?" he asked looking up at you, for the first time since he positioned you like this, you looked down at him. And what a sight for sore eyes, so lewd that if you looked at it for long enough you would cum without him needing to do anything to you anymore.

"So good," you reply and place one of your hands into his raven hair when he continues abusing your sensitive bud in the best way you could think of, he continues his movements with his tongue and his fingers, and it's only a matter of seconds until it builds up. You pull at his hair as he deepens his head in between the thighs that are now clenched around his head and it finally all becomes too much for you.

"Fuck....San....ahh," you cry out whilst shutting your eyes tightly, thing that makes you see stars in the back of your head.

You feel proud for satisfying his wish. San seems too feel so as well. You come undone on his fingers, and he pulls them out quickly to attend your releasing wetness with his inpatient tongue, you feel as if you could pass out from the soft stimulation. Such a long time since you've had an orgasm and this might have been the best way to have one.

"Fuck, you taste so good," he says as he slowly rises and takes his place above you, letting you have a taste yourself as he kisses you, swirling his wet muscle in every corner of your mouth, making sure none of it is getting left untouched by him. You sure do taste better on his tongue. Feeling his hard dick press on the inside of your thigh, in all its dizziness, your brain only wants more.

"Can we go to the bedroom?" you ask nicely, only to be met once more with San's surprised face. Like the thought that you still might want more never crossed his mind. He helps you up by the waist and lets you guide the way to the room. As you enter the it you quickly run to the bed, throwing yourself on it as you giggle like you're high, and you might as well be. High hormones had the same effect as weed for you. San only shakes his head with a smile on his face, while looking down and getting his belt off. Shit, this is really happening. Really finally happening. He slowly approaches the bed, ridding himself of his pants as he reaches the edge of it. Your friend pulls down his boxers as well, and you watch closely as his erect member is finally out of its entrapment, it springs up vividly, slapping against his torso. You're left in surprise at the sight of his girthy, definitely above average long, cock. You bite your lip involuntarily and he laughs to your reaction.

"You don't need to," you quickly blurt out as soon as you see him pulling a condom from his wallet. "I mean...I'm clean, if so are you then..." well it's safe to say you've became quite a desperate little thing during your two, deprived of sex, years. "then, we don't need to worry." you finish your sentence.

"You sure?" he asks for confirmation once again.

"Yeah, 'm sure." you respond and beckon him with your index finger. He muffles out a swear word you don't quite register as he drops the condom from his hold, quickly climbing on the bed. He crafts a better position above you, kissing you gently as he lines up his tip with your entrance. You whine in anticipation, lips still attached to his own, softer ones. He slowly pushes himself inside, taking lots of time to make sure your tightness grows comfortable around him. It hurts. Not only it is the first time with San, it felt like the first time altogether. At first, it seemed like your damn hymen grew back. Ironic, considering the amount of sex you used to have. You frowned as you whimpered softly into his mouth. He quickly broke the kiss, watching you with a slightly panicked look on his face.

"Hey, you all right?" he brushed the hair out of your face with his right hand, holding his weight on his left arm. You slowly started to get used to him, your whole body relaxing noticeably when seeing his face.

"Yeah, you can move." you stated with a voice glazed with desire. He did as asked, moving his hips in slow strokes, every time trying to deepen himself more inside you. He groaned each time his dick reached a new part of you.

"Fucking hell, how are you so fucking tight?" he lets out in a tone that almost seems annoyed with the state of your pussy.

"You...are the first...since then." you speak in between craving moans. He shudders at your words, stopping for a second, as he buries his forehead in the crook of your neck.

"Well, damn, princess. Should've let me stretch you out sooner." he whispers into your ear. And that is by far the most obscene thing that has left his lips tonight. He started moving again, this time picking a pace that had you crying out for his name. You couldn't think of much else when San was fucking you, his cock kindly brushing over a certain sweet spot every time it reached its depth. His dick and your pleasure occupied most of the place inside you and your mind, respectively. But at one point, you did try to recall how exactly you ended up right there. Somewhere along the way of finding the answer, you realized it didn't matter how, it mattered that it did. And the strokes that San was driving into you only made you thank the universe that it happened. Following after his release, he increased his speed. His voice was starting to get raspy after groaning and moaning, as did yours, both of your throats dry now.

"I...I think I'm gonna cum..." he whispered in your ear, and you immediately understood the question hiding behind his words. Your mind was in a state of debate for a few too many seconds. In or out? The only person that ever came in was him. In or out? But you wanted San to cum inside you so badly. In or out? That wouldn't be fair. In or out? But why wouldn't it be?

"Inside." you determinately say. His movements begin to grow messy, losing rhythm. He immerses into you deep, almost knocking you out with the way his cock is so richly stuffed inside you, and he let's out an angelic cry as he fills you up with white ropes of his hot seed. With his forehead glued to your shoulder, San pauses to catch his breath for a few seconds, before pulling his body up to get better vision of you. He cups your cheek and kisses you softly once again, pulling himself apart from you quicker than expected.

"You're so beautiful," he brushes his thumb over your lips. "I could look at you for all eternity." your heart thumps heavily when hearing his words. It made no sense for you how someone who looked like him, could tell you that you're beautiful. It seemed so far away from your reality, but still, you were thankful. At a loss for words, and only giving a shy smile in return, San mirrors it as he ascends and then throws himself in the empty space next to you. The only thing that is heard the next few minutes is both of your breaths as your chests heave. You nuzzle up into San's side, he embraces you with his arm as you grab him by the waist, laying your head on his chest. He kisses you on the crown of your head as he starts humming a melody that you don't think you've heard yet. Nonetheless, sleep gets a hold of your tired body and mind quickly, and you don't know if it's the alcohol that creates an illusion, or if it's just San's presence, but throughout your dreams you feel as if you are guarded by an angel.

Easily the best sleep you've had in a while. You are reminded of how easy it is to fall asleep on someone else's shoulder, just as you wake up.

*****

Before you met him you always thought you were better at spending time alone than you were at spending time with others. Now your thoughts had changed about the matter. It was like you were made only for being in Hongjoong's company, and when you were, you felt at peace. Like nothing could affect you ever again. The moments after sex were the ones you loved most, it almost felt like after your bodies were joint, your souls were getting combined as well, while laying on one another. He had his warm hand draped against your waist, playfully tracing circles on your soft skin, humming whatever song came to his mind. Your hand was on his bare chest and your head in the crook of his armpit. If you would be stuck in a time loop made only of this moment, you would never get sick of it.

The heat his body was emanating seemed to strangely warm you up from inside out, and the smell that was around the two of you was making your mind dizzy and your lungs crave for more. Feeling his chest rise as he inhaled and exhaled made you realize that your breaths were in sync, and hearing his heartbeat, you were sure they were too, in sync with yours. For you, loving Hongjoong was such a natural thing to do, like you two were extensions of each other and worked at full capacity only when together. His fingers slowly took a hold of your hand which he brought to his lips, he kissed it and then squeezed it tightly. You looked up into his eyes. His beautiful eyes sprinkled with love and adoration as he watched you.

"I think that every day I spend with you, I find a new meaning to love." he brushes your cheek gently and you stay silent, your mind in a stage of awe at how greatly he sums up the things you feel, without even talking to each other. You smile as you kiss him again and again and again.

"Then let's find a new meaning to love together for the rest of our lives," still standing close to his face, you see him smile and you do as well. You knew that even in the darkest of days, his smile would always lighten up your whole world. He pecks your lips again and suddenly tries to get up from the bed, the coldness you feel not only in your body, but your heart as well, wraps around your mind and you quickly grab his hand. He stops and kneels on the bed, looking at your uncovered body still on display for the flame that takes ahold in his enchanting eyes.

"We'll be late..." he says as he gets closer to you. That wouldn't be a problem, you think. The author should be allowed to be late to their own book release, right?

"Ten more minutes," you plead as you pull him towards you. He smirks and let's you take control of both his mind and body, as he lays on top of you, filling you up with the heat emanating from his body once again. After all, ten minutes wasn't that much, right?

*****

There it was. The selfishness that has made you lose him. The selfishness that brought you here with San. Everything was your fault. You lost so much of yourself the day you lost Hongjoong, but you were sure your last bit of humanity was completely lost the day you let Choi San believe that you could love him the same way he did. How could you be so reckless? You couldn't even blame the alcohol anymore, only your fucking stupidity. You used the only friend left that you cared about, as a rebound. And he doesn't even know. You looked up at the man who was holding you tight against his chest, as if not to lose you. He was still asleep. His natural unflawed beauty made your heart exclaim in agony as you traced his features with your gaze. As thoughts were overwhelming your mind, you placed your head in its initial position. Your eyes were starting to sting when tears started to form up.

You were the worst there was, weren't you? You killed your boyfriend and you deceived your friend into being your distraction, from all the pain and guilt, in more than one way. You didn't recognize yourself anymore, not after so much time of ignoring all your thoughts and suppressing all your feelings thinking it would get better. It didn't get better, the opposite actually, seeing where you stand right now. It was all because of you, and your selfishness, and it could've all be avoided if you didn't wish for fucking ten more minutes.

You started quivering and sobbing.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" San confusedly asks. This should be a sight to see as soon as you open your eyes. The girl you were balls deep in the night before, crying in front of you the morning after. Comforting you came natural to him, like he has been doing it for all his life. And you realized he did do it, not for all his life, sure, but since it happened. He has done his best to comfort you in every way he could. And he always succeeded. And this is how you repaid him. How could you be such a fucking asshole?

"San you need to...you have to leave...I'm sorry." you say through sniffles as it gets harder and harder for you to control the tears pouring down your face. You cannot look him in the eyes but you do get a peek at his grave look, how he looks down, unsure of what to do.

"Did I do something?" he quietly asks with a certain thread of fear in his voice, as if he was terrified of what his question might cause. You wish you could tell him that at the same time he didn't do anything, he also did too much. His kindness and love were too overwhelming for you in the state you were in.t. No matter how much he tried, his love couldn't repair you. You were the only one who could do that, but for what felt like the longest time, you didn't want to do it. Maybe it was time to try now.

"God, no..." you barely manage to blurt out. Speaking seems like the most tiring thing to do right now. "I just have to be alone right now." trying to stop your tears briefly, you look him in the eyes as he retracts his hands off of you. And you can't help but feeling it again, even if you know that it's not the case. Abandoned. Once again, and like the first time, it was all because of you. He got up from the bed, quickly dressing himself in the heavy silence that was surrounding both of you. You slowly hugged your knees to your chest, slightly burying your head in the space that you created. Maybe it wasn't for the best to be left alone but you were afraid of what might happen if you weren't. You saw San walk to your front door, put on his shoes and look at you for a last time. You looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Y/N, I..." love you. He didn't need to enunciate it, you could already see it on his face, how much it hurt him to leave you in this mess, all alone. Whatever you felt for him was so hard to decipher in the amalgam of things that were dwelling inside of you. And it was even harder to accept that you did have certain feelings for him, stronger that you would've liked. He sighed and slowly shook his head, looking down. You saw him leave and then you didn't see much anymore. As bitter tears that flooded your eyes slowly slid into your mouth. Painful screams were tumbling out of your chest giving you no chance to control them. As you get up off the bed you start grabbing whatever comes first and throwing it around. Cradled papers, books off of shelves, tiny decorations on your desk. You reach a framed photo of you and Hongjoong and stop for a second to look at it. Back at the beginning of your relationship when you went to a museum. It started snowing so much that his black coat turned white. You still remembered the cold weather of that period but the warmth of his smile was burning still, even through the damn picture. A few of your tears stained the glass of the photo and after you whimpered in the discomfort you felt around your heart, like someone was squeezing it in their fist, you threw it on the wall across from you. Did you really have to destroy everything nice in your life? As soon as it shattered to pieces you rushed towards it, as if you were not expecting the completely obvious to happen.

"No, no, no..." you whisper to yourself in disbelief. You slowly pick the broken glass in your shaking hands as your crying only gets louder, rivers of tears flowing down your face when your eyes can't seem to look anywhere else but at the old photo.

"I miss you so fucking much..." you whimper in pain, like a dog being beaten.

It's pure torture, you realize, what you're doing to yourself. It takes a lot for your now bloody palms to make contact with your face and wipe your tears, only leaving more of a mess behind. The flesh, now torn from picking up the thin pieces of broken glass, stings when your salty tears slide over the bloody trails and as you rise up with wobbly legs to throw it in the trash, you find yourself looking out the same window you stood with your lover on his last day beside you. Your tears suddenly came to a halt as you looked at the city lights near and far away; your breathing steadied and you remembered.

I want a balcony.

How were you supposed to move on, when you haven't even moved out?

You never felt so nervous for anything in your life before. The microphone was waiting for you on the warmly illuminated stage. You took shy steps towards it as the people started to applaud loudly, you were sure you heard someone whistle from the crowd. As you got in front of the microphone stand you placed one hand on it, dragging it closer. You were not sure how to do this. It should've been your second time, but due to the incidents back then, it was the first time in your life you had to speak at your own book release. Or even attend it. You inhaled deeply and looked through the crowd once more. Your eyes met Seonghwa's as he slightly raised the glass of champagne towards you. The pity he laid upon you with the help of his gaze a while back had turned into pride. You couldn't help but remember the surprise on his face when you went not to his office, but his house, at two in the morning, when you finally finished writing.

You spent the night together, he began reading and you fell in and out of sleep on his couch. When you woke up, he made breakfast for you and he told you how great it was, with the little eternal side notes from his side. He was proud.

"I have no idea what I should say," you offer a strong beginning, everyone starting to chuckle at your awkward comment. "I've been through hell and back writing this book. Two years and a half ago I lost the love of my life in a car accident, and for a long time I thought I lost everything." the room became suddenly tense as you spoke the words.

"But this should be a reminder that some doors aren't closed. We just think that they are." you finish off raising your glass and looking at a familiar pair of eyes. Everyone cheers as you get off the stage, and after receiving compliments from your boss, your team and other people as well, you follow the suited silhouette that you've been secretly chasing with your stare all night, outside.

"Hey," you greet as you find San on a bench right next to the venue. His eyes meet yours and for a brief second it's like all the nerves you had on stage came back, but they were doubled this time. It was hard going through everything without San. He tried to contact you, of course, but you weren't giving him much and the only times you saw him were when you ran into each other at work. When you looked at yourself in the mirror you couldn't recognize yourself anymore, but he? He was just the same. Dressed for the occasion, his black hair swiped back neatly and his face...as gorgeous as ever, and the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

"Hey," he greets back as he drags his body on one side of the bench, signaling for you to join him. You sit beside him and look forward, feeling his eyes on your figure. "how have you been?" he asks, his voice glazed in worry. You made him suffer for the last time, you tell yourself. The whole ghosting thing and all the times you avoided him, those summed up the last time you were going to ever hurt him. For now you were working towards slowly healing the wound that has scarred you, which gave you more clarity about a lot of things.

"Better." you answer, looking in his direction. "I finally got it out!" you add smiling, a bittersweet smile that you held inside for a long time, it was for him only.

"I told you." San mimics your smile and looks into the distance.

"You did," moments of silence accompany as you think of the best way to embody your thoughts into words. "I never got to apologize." you start and his head shoots right at you. "I'm sorry. For using you to try and fuck my pain away." finally saying it aloud to him and getting it off your chest make your lungs finally not burn up when you try to inhale.

"I should apologize too," he begins and it's your turn to look at him with confusion.

"A part of me was aware that you were trying to do that and yet I wasn't able to stop myself." he adds. And it's like some part of you already knew, and already forgave him for it and that was because you knew you had way more blame than him, but you learned to come to terms with it, like you did with many things in your life. Learning to forgive yourself wasn't an easy process, but with the help of a good therapist, you slowly learned how to do it. You were at peace with a few of the things that kept you awake during the night. Slowly getting better.

"I'm sorry." he says and you're sure that more honest words had never left his mouth.

You take his hand into yours and place it on your lap. For the first time since you know him, his hands are cold. You use your other palm as a blanket and cover his hand from the cold winter breeze outside. He nurtured for you enough, it was finally time that you were ready to return the favor.

"I read the book," he says, looking at your hands holding each other.

"Lots of them are inspired from your stories," you refer to the poems, thinking of how many more were written with your mind only thinking about him that didn't even make the cut into the book. "and lots of them are inspired from you." You look into his eyes as he squeezes your hand gently. Maybe you didn't yet know what you wanted. But you knew what you didn't want. And you didn't want to lose San. Not again. Not ever.

"Can I take you out on Thursday?" he asks as his gaze stills down on your warm face. If he asked you this on a bad day, you still weren't sure what your answer would be, but today was a good day. You never got to say goodbye to Hongjoong, but that didn't mean you couldn't say hello to anyone ever again. "You know, in case you need more inspiration for your next masterpiece." he adds and you laugh shortly while nodding quickly. You spend a few more minutes in silence, enduring the cold air, silently revealing to each other the most vulnerable parts of you. You look down at your joined hands and then into his eyes. You smile, partly because you do feel happy, and the rest because you know he'll do the same, and hell, you fucking missed that dimpled smile of his.

The man doesn't say anything when you lean your head on his shoulder, but you are almost sure you can hear his heart beating faster. "I missed you so much." you finally say, letting your feelings pour out in front of San for the first time, leaving you vulnerable in a way no one has seen you since then.

And for the first time, while looking at the bright clear sky above you, you think for yourself that...He would be so proud.

[sillygoblinantics]

Can I trauma dump for a second?

Personal essay by Bri

Can I be vulnerable with you all for a brief post? You don’t have to read what’s under here if you don’t want to hear about dark thoughts and events from my childhood. So take this as a content warning going forward, especially if you are not in a good state of mind I want you to ignore this post and check out my other light hearted stuff in the meantime. 🩵

In the past month spanning the duration of September, Lily Orchard has made several posts answering self asks where she makes various and progressively worse than the last threats on many people who she labels are stalkers.

Each of these posts were said throughout the month that is a very particular awareness month: suicide prevention month. The amount of ways she’s phrased it are just heartless and reckless.

Today, being no different than the others has struck a cord to me personally.

For context:

I was transferred to a school for kids with learning disabilities when I was 9 in the middle fourth grade. At this private school I would receive proper education and resources that would help me excel but in less than four years at this school I would be the target and victim to one boy’s torment and abuse. Let’s call him Pepsi, because he wouldn’t shut up about bragging about how his mom was ceo of the company’s local branch. Pepsi had been a troubled boy who had bullied kids before I arrived and because of his parents the school couldn’t do anything outside of suspension. I being prone to teasing and not understanding tone or jokes due to being born autistic was the perfect target for Pepsi. So he would harass and pick on me: tripping me in hallways, flipping me off, calling me names and messing with something I showed interest in, standard bullying stuff. During this time I was slowly driven into high stress/anxiety and shortly following I would have depression. I would hurt myself by scratching my arms with paperclips which my mom would eventually request the school have a teacher escort me to and from the bathroom just so I wouldn’t self harm. This was between 4th, 5th and 6th grade.

It was around here that I begun having suicidal ideation… I tried asphyxia: belt, infinity scarf and even a cats-in-the-cradle toy. These attempts were always at home and would be stopped by my parents… at one point my old dog came bursting in to check on me when I was crying my eyes out and wouldn’t leave my side until she made sure I was ok.

(I’m tearing up over that specific memory as I type this out… she was a very good dog…)

Seventh grade Pepsi would do something that began my ideations and planning that would go into effect the next grade. During a school dance, I decided to invite my brother and his two friends as I didn’t know any guys or really thought someone liked me. I tried to hangout with my brother on the bleachers in the gym. While sitting on the bleachers one of my peers approached and asked if I’d slow dance with them. No boy ever did this and I thought it was genuine I was so happy until at the other side of the gym, under the basket ball hoop against the wall, surrounded by other boys (who weren’t goons) I saw Pepsi, laughing. Laughing and pointing and I still remember the feeling I had as I could feel my lil heart shatter into pieces in my chest.

I ran to the bathrooms tears running down my face. My brother and his friends saw this and were about to beat Pepsi up but the school chaperones stopped them. I wish they didn’t.

From then to eighth grade I was barely myself and would sit in class staring out the windows down the long uphill half mile long driveway that cut through a small bit of woods and opened to the busy road. I’d watch all kinds of cars pass: big cars, small cars, pickup trucks, suvs, eighteen wheelers, buses and all sorts of vehicles pass by between the tree line. I’d watch and imagine myself being hit, thinking of the day I’d enact this plan.

I was excited for eighth grade, not only would I be graduating and headed for high school but it was the year our grade would get to perform one of two Shakespeare plays! The class before us did Romeo and Juliet and our class would get to perform the Scottish play. I was excited even if I was a narrator. My mom made it clear to the school and teachers to make sure that Pepsi and I were kept apart at all times. At. All. Times.

The one time during rehearsal, when me and Pepsi were in the same room, the one moment that a teacher stepped out for just a few minutes. Pepsi took the opportunity and berated me, said every nasty thing he could at me.

I can’t remember most but what I know is something about my weight and that no one would love me and that I should die.

I felt a switch go off and suddenly I was speed walking towards the door of the gym (the stage was in the gym since the art and music classes were connected to the gym) and as I was walking I could hear my teacher calling my name but I didn’t look back. Once I got out the door I ran, I ran so fast.

I ran down the hill, the sound of my shoes hitting the pavement echoed in my ears still and the only thing in my mind were: the plan but also the hope that I was still being chased by the teacher, I kept running and running and by the third Italian cypress tree that lead to the small forested area and up the driveway of the school I skidded to a halt. I caught my breath and with a glimmer of hope for a hand to grab me I looked behind me:

…

The teacher wasn’t there… they stopped chasing me. Why did they stop chasing me? Weren’t they suppose to care?! Why aren’t they here?! I looked back at the road now crying for a different reason. I flaked out… I couldn’t go through with the plan. ‘No one would care’ I thought… so I turned around and ran back up the hill and past the school buildings and near the back where I waited and cried for the day to be over or for someone to notice me. The advisor or some type of teacher; who would take his class on nature walks behind the school on the old trails where an amphitheater was; found me. I didn’t tell my mom at pick up. I told my first therapist about it and later was sent to a hospital and then five days at a literal hell where it only instilled fear of being vulnerable and honest about my mental health stayed. I had to stay out of school for a few months until I could graduate… I missed my chance to be a narrator for the play, I fumbled my science fair… I would forget about this day until I was a junior in high school with a new counselor and my mom. I only had dreams of running down the hill of my middle school and I never knew why until my mom told me and my counselor… those dreams stopped after the revelation.

I was twelve years old when I tried to kill myself via being hit by a car.

Lily orchard, you have no fucking right to act like the bigger person because you’re trans or native or whatever bullshit you spew.

It’s been two or three years since I’ve had any suicidal thought, a year since I’ve self harmed and I refuse to relapse now.

I don’t wish any horrible thing on you, no one does, no one has or will ever wish harm or ill will on you. And the people who do have something to say about you are validated after putting up with your abuse that has been documented on so many occasions.

I don’t wish what I have gone through on my middle school bully, I wouldn’t wish the worst thing ever on him. I wouldn’t wish the worst fate even on you.

The only thing I wish you get: is help. Actually human help.

And Lily, if I see you talk smack about anyone’s mother or father like this again, there’s nothing I can do in my power to act; because you’ve already done it to yourself.

———————————

Thank you to those who aren’t Lily orchard for reading this, it’s a heavy subject for me that as I share and open up about becomes much lighter and helps me get the strength and confidence to be able to be honest with the people I care most about outside of the internet.

While I can say I’m in a better place it’s always changing but it’s gotten easier to manage and recenter myself.

Stay safe everyone (ówò)

[deafeningsheeppoetry]

Metamorphosis

Luke Skywalker x reader

Synopsis: Luke recalls his childhood memories.

Word count: 2k

Content warning: do not read if you have Entomophobia (fear of bugs)

Months before the kenobi show

"they look weird.." Luke mumbled as he tried not to hurt your feelings with his words

"is it because of their legs? Millipedes are like that" you explained to him as your pet millipede crawled around your wrist and hands.

"ye-yeah..maybe that" luke mumbled as he shivered,he felt like the millipede was crawling in his skin and he wanted to frantically scratch his skin at the thought of it

"they don't harm you or anything like that, they don't bite so you don't have to worry" your voice was barely a whisper at this point as he watched you put all of your attention on your pet,he was quite jealous as he wanted your attention to be on him at all times,he was your friend after all

"yeah.. but it's legs" luke mumbled as he put his knees right in front of him "too creepy..i can almost feel it's legs crawling on my skin" and as he said that he saw you perked up

"do you wanna hold it?" You asked him as you shoved your hands (which still has your pet crawling on your fingers) right in his face.

"what?! No!" Luke said as he quickly moved slightly away from you, you only nodded in response as you continued playing with the millepede as you lightly brushed your fingers around it's moving body

"i can understand, nobody really likes it when hundreds of legs are crawling on your arms" you said as you placed your millipede down your lap, Luke watched you as he silently admiring your beauty before snapping out of his trance

"that's not really helping with your description of how it feels" luke grumbled as he hugged himself as he tried to get the feeling out of his head

"right, sorry" you answered as you put your pet on it's cage now

"wanna play now?" You asked him as you stood up before dusting off the sand off your body, Luke nodded as well as he stood up quickly as you both ran off and went to play with whatever tatooine has given you today

ossus

"dear, stop picking up every animal or insect that you see.." Luke mumbled as he tried to get your hands away from the pond as its fishes swam away frantically from your hands

"why not? That fish looks cute" you mumbled as you tried to touch the fish again, Luke quickly intervened as he took your hands and held it between his fingers

"don't,it might be poisonous" luke warned you again, after all these years, you never changed, you were still the quiet person that he knew, you still took interest in animals and insects and you still favored reading and writing rather than action.

"no it's not, I've learned a species slightly similar to this" you answered back to him stubbornly,luke sighed as i softly cupped your cheeks

"similar does not mean the same thing dear" luke spoke softly , though you could only sigh in defeat again as he won over you again

"now let's get up and eat lunch, i made your favorite food" Luke said as you both stood up, luke didn't let go of your arms as he held them firmly against him

"can you at least use the force to take it ou-"

"no" Luke quickly cut you off as he knew that the animals in ossus were poisonous and he did not want you tampering with it "poison is poison, I'll give you another butterfly to preserve though" Luke added as he looked back at you

"ok that might actually work.." you mumbled as you both walked side by side towards his jedi academy

"can i feed grogu though?" You asked again, Luke looked at you in suspicion before nodding "i hope you're doing it to actually help me" Luke mumbled quietly to himself as he watched smile in success which only led him to chuckle on your behavior

Quite happy that I actually wrote something,wow ok, anyways ignore the lazy writing on this one 😾 i was super bored so i wrote something today 🤷‍♀️ (not really something i do but ok!) Anyways don't be surprised if i don't post anything again 😽

Also heleana isn't a face claim or anything 😿 I'm just demonstrating on what you're doing (the English just went out of my head help???)

Also idk where Luke's jedi academy is located so I searched it up and it came back up and it said ossus (??) Anyways inform me if I'm wrong lol

[sleepyscxry]

Peridot x Gender neutral reader!!

A/N this might be pretty short because I’m tired asf.

the car comes to a halt and my eyes jolt open. “WERE HEEERRREE!!” Said my very awake friend, Bullet.. he’s been awake on monsters since we got out of Alabama. He’s been awake for two days.. “are you okay?” I said with worry.. “don’t worry y/n I’m fine we just gotta get the stuff in as soon as possible before I crash.” “Ooook” with that me and him start moving boxes and furniture in. The appliances came with the house on both floors!! Sinks, washers, dryers, dishwashers and a big doggie door!! ‘Will be perfect for king he’s fucking huge. Why did we decide to get a Great Pyrenees again?’ by the end of the day we were surprisingly done! We laid on our beds on our sides of the room and immediately crashed. the next day we wake up to king scratching at the door like a zombie. “I’m comin’ ya big goof.” Bullet said with his groggy Italian accent. I giggled because he sounds so silly. I got up and went to the bathroom to splash water on my face to wake me up. Putting on a snazzy sweater and some jeans I go to the kitchen and bullet is already making breakfast! “Your hair looks like an aliens trying to abduct it lol” I said with a still pretty sleepy tone. “What do ya mean?” He looked at the camera on his phone and said “oh my god I look like I’m in the 80’s jeezus.” We laughed it off as he fixed his hair and finished making breakfast. It was a waffle sandwich. “Huh?” “Oh that’s just something this dude over by the shore told me about. But said he went veggie and doesn’t like ‘em anymore so I stole the recipe!” “Wow.. sounds like you, talking about breakfast to someone you barely know.” “Oh no I’ve known Steven ever since we were twelve!” “Oh wow..” “there are a lot of things you don’t know about me. Let’s go talk to ‘em!” “But I haven’t finished-“ “it’s fine don’t worry about it king will!” He dragged me to the car and started driving to the shore. I will admit the beach is very pretty. We get to this ancient looking statue thing with a house built into it.. “what the hell?” “Don’t worry about it! Top secret stuff!!” He giggled and ran up the stairs. He knocked on the door and yelled “STEVEENNNNN ARE YOU HOOOMEE??” Then a boy with poofy curly hair like bullet answered the door. “Hair buddy!!” “Hiya steven so I just wanted you to meet my friend y/n!!” “Oh hi! It’s nice to meet you come in!” He was as cheerful as bullet which surprised me. ‘In my 4 years of knowing this man I’ve never seen anyone as cheerful as him until now.. wow’ and then I see weirdly colored people come into the house through this crystal portal thing? “Omg these are the crystal gems!!” He then goes on to tell me all of their names.. but only one catches my full attention.. “and this is peridot. She’s mostly sweet but a bit of a gremlin..” “HEY!! I AM NOT A GREMLIN!!” “My proof.” “Oh.. SHUT UP YOU CLOD!” ”Hi I’m y/n it’s nice to meet you all!” “It’s nice to meet you too.” Garnet said with a bit of a serious tone. Bullet saw me and said “you ok? To many people? You’ve got that look on your face that usually means you’re feeling a strong emotion” he led me outside to talk about it. “I’m fine it’s just that the last one.. peridot she is..” “different, short, loud, kinda annoying?” “I guess but she’s also kinda cute-“ “AYO- SUS? Sorry but uhm that’s actually really funny. Y’all could be the shortest couple known!” “Hey it’s not my fault you’re 6’2!!” “Ok true buuut you are only (I’m sorry to do this but-) 5’3” “I- eh- UGGGH” I stomp back in there. Him walking in with me wheezing. “What happened” steven said with a concerned voice. “Y/n is mad because they’re short lmao” “well that’s nothing to be to ashamed about..” peridot said with a smile. I notice that she is pretty short compared to the others.. “wanna be friends?” I said with a sweet gentle tone

I’m SORRYYY. I know I haven’t been updating ANYTHING! And yes I’m making this slow burn because peridot is ARO. ACE. Get it right you fools. bullet out >:)

[chocolatelovingautiqueer]

Really love this idea, so I ran with a lil' something :)

(I made this in what, 30 minutes, so no beta-reading or rereading from my part, I'll correct any mistakes if someone finds them!)

TW: violence, gun violence, blood

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Whumpee! Whumpee! Oh God, oh-" They basically choked on air when they saw the state Whumpee was in. For a moment they wanted to stay glued to the floor, like they know [..,] would, but the momentum kept them going.

Rushing over to Whumpee's side, they very gently lifted up their head onto their lap, and pulled Whumpee a bit further upright, so that they could hold them by their shoulders.

"Hey, can you hear me? I'm here, you're safe now, promise." Whumpee seemed vaguely aware of the voice that spoke to them, their vision too clouded, too swollen, to see anything beyond a silhouette. Nevertheless, they recognized that it was, indeed, a safe voice. They wanted to speak, to scream, to cry. But their throat was too dry, blood still pooled in the back of their throat, so all that came out was a gargling noise. They tried coughing, trying to forcefully get rid of stuff obstructing their throat. Because they had a wish. Just one wish. And [...] had to know it. They knew that this was the voice of the one person who could indeed do what they asked, who would honour this particular wish.

[...] quickly wiped away the tears and snot that had accidentally collected on their face. "Alright, I'm going to call the others in, we'll carry you to the car, and I'll bring you home, I'll make better, make you safe," they tried encouraging Whumpee, smiling with hope past the wetness in their eyes.

To their shock, however, Whumpee shook their head, and clutched their arm, scratching open the skin in desperation. While the act was weakened by exhaustion, [...] understood. They knew it, they had felt this feeling.

Needlessly it sacred the shit out of them, but they recognized what giving up was like. If you could even call this giving up.

They toned their voice down to a whisper: "What are you saying? Do you want- do you want me-," they raised their head, swallowed, and blinked a few tears away, being unable to pry the words past their tongue. They looked back down at the broken figure of their partner. "Do you want me to-... oh God... should I end it... for you?" Their voice cracked on accident.

It took a number of seconds for Whumpee to react, and to their disappointment, [...] felt hope welling in their chest. They knew, however, what the answer would be. The truth was, they could only agree with Whumpee-

when they nodded.

"Please," Whumpee managed barely, and [...] noticed that they, too, were crying. This kind of decision was never easy, even if the sensation afterwards would be so much different, whether relieving or disastrous.

"Ok, ok, ok... I will- don't worry. I'm not going to betray you, I'll do it."

Whumpee wanted to close their eyes and rest, but [...] spoke to them once more: "Any wishes on how to go, any last words?" their voice was filled with pain and grief already. Whumpee again just shook their head, now deciding it'd be way nicer to keep their eyes on [...]. They had always liked this person, loved them, in whatever way you'd imagine. Whumpee wanted them to know that. When [...] took their hand, and raised it to cup their face, Whumpee realized that they had been trying to lift their arm for said motion, having failed to find the energy. "I know. I love you too. In every possible imaginable way. Don't worry, I'll stay here."

Whumpee opened their mouth to give one last wish to [..], but they had foreseen this, and filled in Whumpees words. "It'll be our secret, I promise. Nobody'll know. You can go take it to your grave, and I'll take it to mine. It'll be our everlasting bond," they said with a smile, and noticed to their happiness that Whumpee was returning it.

These last words were too difficult for [...] to every even form in their mouth. They were afraid to think them, even.

So they signed them.

(Having members with disabilities surrounding them came in handy more often than a lot would like to believe.)

(- this statement is not meant to be offensive in any way, please let me know if it does come across as that, and I'll change it right away! - )

I will make it quick

With those last words crossed between these two, [...] grabbed their g*n with one trembling hand, grateful for having loaded it before raiding the place, while kissing the top of Whumpees head numerous times, trying to take up every ounce, every bit of warmth, every smell of them.

[...] repositioned themselves to not be in the line of fire, they held the g*n above Whumpees head, careful not to touch them with the cold metal. They wished for Whumpee to be relaxed with the thought of being at peace, not fearing the moment it would happen. It took [...] every ounce of energy to breathe normally and not break down right that second. They prayed to whoever that would take their soul, that they take it lightly, and treat them right. That they knew that this was somehow the hardest, and yet the easiest decision that they had taken in their life.

The shot rang loudly in their ears

"Forgive me," they whispered.

Knowing they had no time until the others would arrive, [...] quickly stuffed their gun back where they normally kept it.

Not half a minute later they heard stomping, running, tripping footsteps near them. It was [..,]

Fucking great, they thought sadly. This was the person who would most likely completely succumb under this.

Seeing the two figures, [..,] quickly grabbed their radio, and mumbled their location, "... [...] found Whumpee, you guys have to hurry up!"

[..,] neared a few more steps, but was too afraid of what they might see. The fear pumped violently through their system, their breath so erratic, it felt like their trachea would bulge at any moment. The raging fear made place for the fear accompanied by sadness.

And confusion.

Why did [...] not call anything in? Why are they just sitting there? What about the person who fired the shot? Were they still near, did they have to go and clear their surrounding?

By the still-sitting [...], they decided that whoever fired a shot was probably already gone, hopefully not having done any more damage.

So [..,] spoke up: "we have to sav- we have to save them!

We- we can't, can we?" they said desperately, tears streaming down their cheeks as the horrifying realization set in.

[...] slowly shook their head. "They're gone, they were gone when I arrived, all I could do was hold them" they say, squeezing just a bit tighter, letting their tears fall on Whumpees skin as a last apology.

Knowing full well it was them who ended Whumpee stressed them out, but one thing was for sure: no-one had to know; the pact stood for eternity.

Caretaker finally finds Whumpee after months of searching and they're in worse condition than they originally thought, so they're forced to make the hard decision: Attempt to save Whumpee, or finally put them out of their misery.

[eclipsedpascal]

Devil Inside

Outpost!Michael Langdon x Female Reader

Michael’s father had been ignoring him for weeks, so in a fit of rage he decides he'll wait on him no longer. He'll bring forth his new world now, starting with you.

Warnings: lots of blood, a tiny bit about Michael's ritual, breeding kink, choking, a tiny bit of scratching, mentions of daddy kink but not rly? idk, gagging with fingers, oral (female receiving), Michael uses his powers on the reader, and just bcs i'm a freaky bitch, Michael whips out his demon face again.

Notes: This is just porn without plot. I started writing this so long ago! Literally like I wrote the entire first half of it on the summer solstice and then didn't touch it again until tonight ?? like ok then whoopsie ig. ALSO I really hate the only other Micheal fic I have up,, like that shit makes me *puking noises*. Yeah anyways its so bad that it gave me the motivation to finally post this one lmao.

Word count: 3k

●●●●●●●●

You sat on the kitchen counter of you and Michael’s shared sanctuary quarters, the only light in the dimly lit room coming from the few candles you had lit earlier in the day which hadn’t yet burned out completely. Your bare legs dangled over the counter top as you sat alone, scrolling through your phone mindlessly and finishing the small mug of lavender tea you had made for yourself with the hopes it would help you sleep better.

As you sipped down the last few drops of what was now lukewarm tea, you heard the unmistakable patter of Michael’s bare feet padding along the marble floor towards the kitchen. He had been trying to contact his father through ritual for weeks now, but he had received nothing in return other than unwanted silence every time he tried. He had been doing the same tonight, hiding out in hopes of hearing even a whisper from his father. He usually devoted hours at a time to contacting him, not finding his way into bed until the wee hours of the morning; so it surprised you he had given up so early on.

You looked up from your screen to find him stood just past the kitchens entrance, completely naked and covered in blood, the wounds he had carved into his arms not too long before already healing; his blood was still fresh and dripping down his toned body. You noticed a change in him. Whilst he usually came to bed feeling exhausted and disappointed, all you could feel from him was anger. It was seething from him as he stood, dripping crimson all over the recently polished floor.

He didn’t speak, eyes focused on the growing puddle of blood that surrounded his feet and filled with so much emotion. You joined him in silence, setting your phone down besides you as slowly and quietly as you could, feeling as if any sudden movement could set him off like a wild animal disturbed from its slumber. You watched as he dug his fingers into the palms of his hands, something you often caught him doing whilst trying to contain impending outbursts he didn't want let loose.

Deciding you should say something, you spoke what could perhaps be called a whisper. “He’s still not answering you, is he?” He ever so slightly shook his head at your question, emitting a low chuckle as he ran his tongue over his top teeth and looked up at you. He struck eye contact with you, his eyes bloodshot and his pupils blown wide. “No.”

You stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other from opposite sides of the room as the tension in the air grew so thick it felt as if it was choking you, your worried eyes looking across into his own rage filled ones.

He started sauntering towards you heavily, eyes never leaving your form and neck slowly craning itself down to continue staring you out the closer he got. Reaching where you sat, he gripped the counter either side of you, his defined hands leaving crimson stains on the previously pristine kitchen counter from the fresh cuts his nails had made as he towered above you. You looked up at him, feeling what you could only describe as fear, waiting for him to do something. anything.

Your own breathing was the only thing you could hear, and you could feel Michael’s fanning over your goosebump decorated skin. You couldn’t figure out what he was thinking, his blank facial expression masking any thoughts running through his mind as he stared you down in a contest you’d never asked to be a part of. You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off, grabbing your colour drained cheeks roughly, smearing blood on your face and kissing you so violently your teeth were clashing against his.

He was practically shaking with rage, which only fuelled him to move against you faster. His hands stumbled their way down to the thin black shirt of his you’d been wearing all night and ripped the front in two, aggressively yanking the cloth off your body and taking rough handfuls of your breasts. He massaged and squeezed them, pinching your nipples so hard it made you squeak through his kiss and arch your back at the pain.

He moved his hands down to your thong and attempted to pull it down your legs, but let out a grunt of irritation when it was taking longer than it should’ve and ripped it off you too. It dropped it to the floor, following the fate of the shirt he had also just ruined. He pushed his mouth over your face and neck, rushing to taste you as if he would soon run out of time to savour it. The tips of his hair tickled the top of your exposed breasts, teasing you with their delicate touch.

“I don't need him, you know.” He stated, his voice surprising you and deepened with fury as he nibbled on your jawline, leaving the slightest of teeth marks on your skin.

“I’ll create our new world now! without any of his input. Since that’s so clearly what he wants.” He moved down to suck on your breasts somewhat aggressively, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin of your nipples as you writhed and moaned underneath him, feeling his anger, but too lost in the pleasure of his lips to understand what it was he was hinting at.

“And I think the perfect way to do that is to start right here, don’t you agree pet?” he husked out his words with vengeance, angry at his father for ignoring him after so many nights spent trying to contact him and growing impatient with the need to fill you with his seed. You gasped, realising what he meant and smiling up at him wildly. You knew this was going to happen at some point; the two of you spoke about bringing your own little antichrist into the world constantly, but you hadn't guessed it would be happening so soon.

He interrupted your thoughts by lifting you up and lowering you down onto the floor, pressing your bare body onto the cold flooring below and inserting himself between your legs. He grabbed ahold of your throat, using his choke hold to pin you down and taking the slightest moment of calm before scratching his hand down your body. You let out a pained whimper, feeling the leftover blood on his fingers mix with your fresh blood in the claw marks he had left in your skin, trailing from your chest to just over your bellybutton.

He looked up at you and tilted his head, a smirk creeping onto his face. “What do you say we make your little nickname for me official, breed you and make me a real daddy? Hm?”

Your chest heaved underneath him, rising and falling quickly as adrenaline coursed through you. You nodded back as fast as you could, still taken aback by his sudden need to breed you and shocked any of this was happening in the first place.

His eye twitched with impatience as he squeezed your neck momentarily, letting you know he felt your nodding was unsatisfactory. He wanted you to spell it out for him.

“Yes Michael! Please breed me!” You gave him what he wanted, lifting your thighs to wrap them around his torso as you spoke, trying to gather more control over the situation. You needed the sudden thirst of lust he had thrusted upon you to be quenched.

“Thats my fucking girl.” He moved to hover above you, bringing his face down to yours and grazing his nose over yours teasingly. He took a hold of his cock pumping it into his hand and trapping you under his intense gaze.

He pushed inside you, needing his cock to be buried as deep inside of you as physically possible. You let out a strangled cry, gripping onto his arms above you and staring into his blackening eyes. They had grown blind with rage, staring into yours soullessly when he pulled out of you almost entirely, stopping only to smile at you devilishly for the first time that night before slamming back into you at a viscous pace. His balls slapped against your skin ferociously, the noise of it and your moans were the only thing to be heard in the dark room.

Every second it felt as if the room grew darker. Michael felt like the only thing that was real, he was definitely the only thing you could see at least. It was as if everything else was falling into the darkness and dissipating from your mind entirely, as if the room was getting closer and closer to your sweating skin.

“You’ll be so beautiful filled with my seed.” He spoke his thoughts allowed, his brutal thrusts taking his breath between words. You rolled your hips over his in response, wishing his words to be true with every bone in your body. He moaned at this, reading your thoughts and taking his hand from your neck and sliding his bloody fingers into your gaping lips.

“Your stomach all swollen with my child.” He continued his stream of thought, forcing his fingers down your throat and making you gag on them, your tongue adjusting to the sour metallic twang now coating it and licking his fingers as if it was his cock he had placed in your mouth.

He yanked his hand from your mouth, leaving you to gasp and cough out between moans. He instead grabbed at your delicate wrist, his large hand easily wrapping around it and brining your palm to lay flat over your lower abdomen. “Can you feel me?” he punctuated his words with deep movements, pressing your hand down to feel his cock moving inside of you. “Yes I can feel you! oh my god fuck!”

He throws your hand to the side, holding your forearm down on the stone. “God isn’t here, Darling.” his voice came out in a snarl, deeper than usual as a demonic tone overcame him. You grabbed at the back of his neck with your spare hand, pulling him down to meet you in a moan filled kiss.

You’re interrupted when you hear a low hissing to the left of you. You turn your head to find the sudden noise and notice snakes. Actual snakes, impossibly slithering their way from under your kitchen counters and leaving trails of more blood on the floor beside to you.

He pulled himself out of you, centring your attention back to him when he leant down on the floor and brought your cunt to his face. He licked a long stripe up your folds, rightfully earning the pornographic moan that escaped from your throat. Your fingers grasped and slipped across the bloody marble floor when his tongue started flicking vigorously at your clit, pressing hard into your sensitive numb and forcing you to move your empty grabby hands to his dampening locks.

He dipped his tongue inside you, still moving it quickly and making you open your mouth to scream without any noise spilling out. He replaced his tongue with his skilled fingers, pumping them in and out of you and curling them into your g spot. “Nothing satisfies me more than that look on your face when i’m about to let you cum.” He muses, a kind of amusement apparent in his voice when he pulls his fingers back from your greedy hole. “Except from the look you give me when I take it away.” He watches your next moves carefully, wanting to get a rise out of you.

“Don’t fucking tease me Michael Langdon!” You raise yourself on your elbows and shoot him an angry glare, caught up in the moment and pissed off at his cruel edging. He narrows his eyes at you, a flick of his wrist forcing you down onto your back as you mentally curse yourself for talking back to the demon situated between your legs.

He rose above you again, sliding into your wet pussy with ease and stroking your face with the backside of his hand. “Should’ve known better than to tell me what to do.” He tutted at you, His knuckles grazing over your face so gently that when he started his swift pounding it nearly gave you whiplash.

“You either beg me to touch you, or I won’t do it at all.” He warns you, his tone still deep as he grunts at the feeling of your walls clenching around his pulsing cock. His hands move to the floor to hold him up, waiting for your whiney begs to soon hit his eardrums.

You didn't want to beg him after his little stunt, but you had no choice. “Please, please Michael, please touch me.” You gasp and cry out to him, your head lulling back to the dark voided ceiling above you, needing the feeling of his fingers on your clit as you near your impending orgasm. He obliges of course, fulfilling his earlier words and rubbing rapid circles onto the neglected little ball of nerves.

His moaning and grunting was much louder now, somehow managing to drown out the noise of his skin slapping into yours. His breaths had too become heavier, his face growing paler and his thin red veins pulsing onto his perfectly countered cheek bones. His skin appeared as if it was cracking, flickering hollow red lighting onto his illuminated face. His face had become the lightest thing in the room, and yet still managed to be the most nightmarish.

You were on the edge now, watching Michaels anger and pleasure turn him not the ghastly demon before you. You felt your limbs start twitching and shaking. “Ahhh fuck, Michael!” You cried out at him. “I’m gonna cum around you so good, you’ll spill every last drop of your seed into me.” You giggled out your words, underestimating the carnality of Michaels reaction to them.

“Then I’d better make sure I’m deep enough into your greedy little cunt to fuck a baby into it huh?” Your words had now spurred him on to the point of fucking you so brutally it hurt, having somehow managed to pick up his already agonising pace. He leant down to your trembling lips, giving you one last reassuring kiss before he lost the little control he had left.

A fucked out haze fogged over your mind, legs falling numb with the shocks of pleasure emerging from your exploding core. You screamed out Michaels name over and over, letting it loose from your lips like you’d been holding it locked up inside your chest for an eternity. Your tingling skin grew wet as the blood and snakes around the both of you began to boil, as if your skin had set a flame under its bubbling surface.

“Fuck Y/N!” He watched your eyes pierce into his as you came, your tight walls squeezing and tensing around him until he had altered his movements. His quick pace nearly halting, he held onto your hips and rutted into you deep and languidly, filling you up with his sputtering seed. His eyes blew wide, as if they were two blackholes consuming the room around them and drawing you into their endless gravity pools. You could feel him stuttering inside you as he stared into your soul, mouth open slightly ajar and pouty lips shaking with the weight of his orgasm.

You knew you should have been terrified of him. The once expansive and flowing cuts down his arms had now healed completely, the only reminder of them ever existing being the multiple pints of blood he had left trailed from his ritual room to the kitchen floor, he’d painted your willing body with now the flaking crimson in mosaics. His face was enough to give a child cataclysmic nightmares for years to come, but yet there you were lying underneath him, admiring the way the red streaks on his skin showed more emotion that you could ever have put into words and how good his messy eyeshadow looked on his macabre face. The only thing that had ever truly frightened you about Michael Langdon was how madly in love with him you were.

His face fell back to its former glory, colour seeping onto his skin and bringing life back to his breathless face. His arms moved to rest near your face as he pulled out of you, the snakes that had once been slithering next to you having suddenly dissolved as if they were never there in the first place. Michael let his head fall, his long hair laying over your chest as he panted down onto you, staring up at your eyes as his own were flooded with an ocean like blue again.

You stared up at him, not a word having been said since he had shouted your name in the midst of his pleasure, it made you almost.. nervous? You’d never seen him take his anger out on you the way he just had. What was he thinking now he’d ‘decided to start his new world early’ in a fit of rage?

“Mikey?” You called out his endearing nickname timidly.

He changed the look on his face, a questioning expression obvious on his handsome features. You knew what that look meant, he was listening in on your thoughts. Something you’d asked him not to do many times before, but yet you were grateful for it in this moment.

He smiled up at you, chuckling in a little more of a domestic manner than his demonic voice had allowed him to before. You rolled your eyes at him and he kissed you again. It was the kind of gentle kiss that felt like it would linger on you afterwards for days.

“I honestly don’t know how I’m going to cope with a little demon running around the house.” You joked, earning another laugh from Michael. His fingers still covered in blood as he played with the bruised bites he’d left under your jaw.

“I think we’ll find out soon enough.”

●●●●●●●●●

Thank you sm for reading!! likes nd reblogs are v appreciated:)💓

Tags: @celestialrequiem @ntxoza @dark-mei-rose @sojournmichael @blakescoven @ritualmichael @ghostangels @ferndolan @brattylovee @7-wonders @lavenderahs @9layerdevilfoodcake @dailylangdon @kitty4860 @lovelylangdonx @langdoncult @langdonsbitch @imnotheretobeliked @paulsons-baby as always i just tagged whoever i thought may be interested, if you wanna be removed or added to the tag list please let me know!:)

[ei-banana]

pairing: eisara (moderately nsfw)

wc: 767

Sara etched at the page with the same tenacity as her love. (artist/muse au)

———

“How do I look?”

Sara paused and leaned back, eyes adjusting once her nose was no longer flush with the canvas. Ei lay sprawled atop their bed a few feet away, sheets rumpled and forgotten down by her ankles; she was naked, glistening with sweat and haloed golden by early evening light.

They had woken late that morning, forgoing the day’s plans in favor of losing themselves in one another. Sara had pressed Ei into the mattress, trailing down her body with molten kisses until the sighs pouring from her parted lips grew throaty and deep. She picked the other woman apart and left her open and flush, gazing up through fluttering lashes a most lascivious sight. Sara perched above her, eyes gleaming with reverence; her fingers itched to immortalize the virtuous display.

The taller woman had leaned down, prying Ei’s mouth open with an apt tongue— so precise and ardent that Ei gripped the sheets above her own head, the phantom feel of Sara’s tongue traveling the planes of her body far too vivid a memory. Sara pulled back, brushing slickened lips against the jut of Ei’s cheekbone, whispering for her to stay still.

She was up and off the prone woman quickly, cool air pebbling exposed flesh, but Ei obeyed her request. Sara prepped her easel deftly— a gift from Ei herself, something to ring in the new year— sitting at a low rung stool and whittling away at dull charcoal until it was sharpened to her liking.

Sara eyed the curves of her muse’s body, hand moving across the page continuously until the face took shape, sketching the rough outline of the body. Ei now squirmed in wait, huffing when Sara still hadn’t answered her question.

The scratch of charcoal paused and she glanced up, eyes lowering back to the smudged lines before her, ears tipping pink when she smiled.

“It’s coming along rather nicely.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” There was an obvious note of impatience in her voice— a voice so rich it had the power to ignite the embers of craving once more.

“You’re captivating, Ei.” The woman smiled at the praise, pushing her chest out and spreading her legs wider until Sara sputtered. “Good, just like that,” she spoke barely above a whisper, gripping the lip of the stool for grounding.

She worked furiously, taking care where Ei was soft and most open, breath growing shallow at the deepening flush of the other woman’s chest. It was a sort of foreplay, a way to tease without touch, and it never lost its charm.

Intimacy was found in the flick of her pencil, the loving way she pressed her adoration into the page— the same way she would carve into Ei later, far more visceral and impassioned than their first, second, or third collision.

Sara darkened the line of her legs and Ei was nearly panting, shifting tirelessly on the dampening sheets. “How much longer?”

“Patience,” Sara breathed, and Ei whined. “Just a little more.”

She ran her knuckle along the underside of the leg furthest from her, pressing in hard to shade darker at the crux of Ei’s legs; the other woman hiccuped around a gasp, the sound of it slamming into the walls of Sara’s own chest. A caress at her side, the birthmark below her eye, the wrinkles in the sheets where her toes curled, and each divot of skin where time had chiseled away to make her softer. Sara’s head had grown light.

“Sara, please.” She looked unto the other woman, mouth slackened and pupils blown, the tip of her pencil slipping at the look on Ei’s face.

A truly salacious glint in her eye; her frame trembled imperceptibly, eyes glistening with near-tears. The charcoal snapped, sliding thick and out of place down the canvas.

“Alright, ok,” Sara placated and stood, legs shaking as she approached the bed. Ei latched onto her with urgency, tugging until they fell together, crying out when the taller woman pressed charcoal-smudged hands to her skin.

Sara painted lines of black and grey across her body, streaking down her sides as she settled on her stomach, biting at flesh and burying deep between bruised thighs.

The drawing beside the bed sat untouched for the remainder of the evening, though Sara hadn’t had the heart to make changes later. It looked as though Ei were emerging out of smog, the clear cut of her face and torso alluring enough to disregard the way Sara’s lines grew shaky and imprecise.

Captivating where she lay— the whispers of pleasure on her swollen lips.

[angryschnauzer]

Undercover Honeymoon

Summary; Having survived a helicopter crash that killed off the gang you and your senior agent had infiltrated, you hide out from the storm that brought the aircraft down by pretending to be Honeymooners at a boutique hotel... but what will 24 hours with August Walker bring you? Trouble, that’s what, and the best possible kind.

Pairing: August Walker x Female Reader (no race or body type specified)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Smut, honestly this is entirely smut, its a crack fic too. Sigh, here goes: face slap, murder, August in a hoodie and grey sweatpants, oral sex (female recieving), blowjob, drunken antics, impared judgement, titty fucking, fingering, unprotected sex, anal sex, inappropriate lube, multiple orgasms, dubious consent, choking, dom-vibes, Sugar Daddy arrangement (but no Daddy kink).

I do not run a tag list, but if you go and follow @angryschnauzerwrites​ and hit notifications, you’ll get an alert to any new stories i post. All previous fics can be found on there or on my Ao3

Undercover Honeymoon

The helicopter spiralled out of control, the tall pines looming through the storm of the century rain, screaming filled your ears, unsure if it was the sound of the engines failing or coming from your own lungs. The aircraft made contact with the trees and everything went black.

-

“Agent… AGENT!” a slap across your face sprang you from your unconscious state, your vision blurred and you winced at the sharp pain that shot through your temple as the face before you came into focus.

“Walker?” you muttered; “Can’t blow our cover…”

Strong arms gripped your shoulders;

“Wake UP! Everyone else is dead”

The next hour was surreal. Agent Walker - your superior officer - had pulled you from the wreckage of the helicopter, past the lifeless bodies of the gang you’d infiltrated, some of which had injuries that looked suspiciously like gunshot wounds. Either way you were alive and so was the other undercover agent, and having spent the last four days running bank robberies you were relieved to be rid of the brutal gang.

Agent Walker had half dragged half carried you through the forest, and even though it was the middle of the day, the torrential rain and dark storm clouds above made the way feel like you were travelling at twilight. When you stumbled on some roots he caught you, his arm firmly around your waist;

“C’mon Agent, not much further now…” his voice softer than usual, reassuring even.

“Where’re we going?”

“Out of season ski lodge… should be quiet this time of year, just a couple of wildlife watchers no doubt”

-

What you’d been expecting was a cute little place with checkered curtains and cutesy decor, what you’d arrived at was a luxury boutique hotel. Agent Walker had managed to spin a very convincing tale of your car leaving the highway due to the weather and he’d arrange to get it recovered after the storm so you could continue your ‘honeymoon’. The receptionist had smiled warmly and offered the pair of you the luxury suite, August merrily peeling $100 bills off a stack he’d produced from his pocket, the paper band that held them together from the robbery slyly crumpled up and you quietly picked it up from the floor, a tiny smirk on the corner of his face when he spotted you covering his rare mistake.

-

Ten minutes later you were settled in your shared room, starting to peel yourself out of your soaked boots and clothing as you eyed the enormous bathroom and ultra fluffy robes that were provided.

“I’m going to go to the gift shop…” he announced, breaking the silence; “They do hoodies and stuff, i’ll grab some dry things to change into…”

“Thanks Agent Walker… I’m going to take a bath…”

He nodded quietly, standing at the door;

“It’s August… call me August”

You must have fallen asleep in the bath, as the next thing you know there is an insistent knocking on the bathroom door;

“Honey? Honey, everything ok in there?”

“Y-yes, Sorry, fell asleep…”

“Ok Honey, just got room service here delivering some lunch”

“Thanks Aug… Augie…”

Augie? Where the hell did that come from? You mentally chastised yourself. An hour ago he was your senior agent and all round grumpy supervisor, now he was ‘Augie’? You actually facepalmed yourself before taking a deep breath and climbing out of the bath. A few moments later once you were dry, wearing the fluffy robe you stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, your breath catching in your throat;

“Augie… we have company?”

Agent Walker was standing in the middle of the room in his shirt, underwear and socks, talking to the room service attendant as he tipped the young man;

“Darling, lunch is here, you must be famished” he let a warm smile spread over his face as he turned to the staff member; “We must have a bite to eat… expending lots of energy, it is our honeymoon after all…”

Once he’d ushered the man out of the room he cleared his throat and his expression dropped, his face serious again;

“I got your new attire… it fits more with the location” he motioned for you to follow him to the bed where there were a number of things laid out, however your feet were rooted to the floor; “What?”

“You’re… you’re in your underwear…”

He looked down, almost in shock to discover he was without his cargo pants;

“Yes? And you’re completely naked beneath that fetching white robe” he motioned to a side of the bed where a bunch of things were sat on the pristine white duvet; “So unless you wish to eat lunch having me know you are naked save for a glorified towel with sleeves - and that would be a delightful thought - you may want to get changed whilst i shower”

Without another word he smirked, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief and grabbed a pile of clothing on the bed, before sauntering into the bathroom, leaving you open jawed at both his sassiness and his tight ass in snug jersey boxers.

Turning back to what was laid on the bed you looked over what he’d managed to get in the hotel’s boutique; a daringly short floral summer dress, a hoodie with the Hotel’s logo on, a pack of novelty thong panties also with bears on, and the highest heeled wedge sandals you’d ever seen. Although none of this surprised you, it was after all the kind of hotel where in good weather, the rich and famous could have cocktails on the deck as they overlooked the Rocky mountains, the fact he’d managed to find your exact size in everything was impressive.

Leaving the heels off for now, you pull the panties and dress on, throwing the hoodie on unzipped to cover up a little, before going to investigate the food, realising that you probably hadn’t eaten for close to 24 hours. You were bent over the service trolley scrutinising the various dishes that had been delivered when you heard his voice;

“Huh, didn’t need to buy you a wallet, those tiny panties show off your silken purse beautifully Princess”

Spinning around you gasped, about to give him a piece of your mind but your train of thought stopped like a record scratch. There before you stood Agent August Walker, grey sweats hanging dangerously low on his hips, chest bare as he pulled a khaki green hoodie over his still damp curls. You noticed how his beard was a little beyond stubble, his mustache curling as a small smile tugged as his lips. Your gaze unashamedly ran down the length of his entire body, emphasis on length as it was clear he was without any underwear, and those rumours that were quietly whispered in the ladies room at the Pentagon were looking to be true as to exactly why they called him ‘The Hammer’.

Still holding a cooling French Fry he sauntered over to you before grabbing a sandwich from the platter;

“My apologies… that was inappropriate” he took a bite, before talking with his mouth full; “Been a crazy 24 hours huh?”

“Y-yeah, you could say that… so, what’s the plan?”

Just at that moment an incredible gust of wind rattled the windows to the point you thought they would blow in, the lights overhead flickered before settling back to bright as he answered;

“Eat, Drink, Sleep. We’re stuck here at least overnight. We don’t have any cells or electronics people can trace, and having checked the map this is not the closest civilisation to the crash site so even if people did come looking for us, this isn’t the first place they’d think of… however in this weather the roads are impassable, at least two rivers have breached their banks, we’re basically cut off from the rest of the world here in our own little bubble” he took a bite of sandwich before grinning at you; “So eat up, the bar downstairs is well stocked, dinner is apparently served in about 4 hours, and there’s a game room if you’re up for a round or two of pool…”

-

Giggling you both tumbled into your suite, August flicking the light switch up and down before realising the power had gone out at the exact moment he’d unlocked the door;

“Oooh dark… are you afraid of the dark Princess?”

The pair of you stumbled and turned, pushing the door shut and you found yourself pressed between it and August’s body, his lips finding your neck as he pressed kisses along your jugular, his facial hair leaving behind a trail of tingling skin in its wake;

“Depends who i’m in the dark with…”

He was so close, in the faint last traces of daylight as the storm took hold of the night you could see the outline of his face, how his long eyelashes rested against his cheeks as he closed his eyes, his breath warm on your skin as you were surrounded by his scent, pine soap and single malt whiskey;

“A monster…”

“I was never afraid of monsters…”

He dropped to his knees in front of you, pressing a kiss to your clothed stomach before his hands were beneath the skirt and pulling your novelty panties down;

“Hold your dress up Princess, show me that pretty pussy”

Doing as he told you, you gripped the pretty fabric in your hands as he hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, pressing kisses to your inner thighs before his thick fingers parted your folds and he dived in. His mustache and light beard pricked at your sensitive skin, but his tongue and lips soothed your aching core, desperate for attention and dripping with need as he went to town on you. He quickly brought you to orgasm before pushing you on for the next, his fingers now knuckle deep in your velvet walls, curling just right to find that spot that had you dripping, his tongue working against your clit to the point where you had to steady yourself by curling one hand through his soft chestnut curls, riding his face as you cried out his name.

Now over sensitive, you pulled his curls to get him to relent, a grunt of frustration coming from between your thighs;

“Augie… please… too sensitive…”

He quickly stood, lifting you to kiss you roughly, his tongue pushing into your mouth and you could taste yourself on his tongue as he gripped your ass as he carried you across the room before unceremoniously dropping you on the bed;

“Strip” he commanded as he staggered to the bathroom. 

You ignored his request, instead reaching for a bottle of water at the side of the bed, taking a drink from he as he returned holding a bottle;

“August… what’s that?”

He looked down at the bottle, almost surprised he was holding something and blinked a few times before looking back at you;

“Baby oil. Its... Baby oil”

“Why do you have Baby oil?” you asked, already knowing the answer but with a sly streak wanting to get him to admit it

“Because they didn’t sell condoms in the gift shop so i cant fuck your pussy because i can’t check to see if you’re on birth control” he blurted out quickly.

Whatever you had been expecting, it hadn’t been that, and as you coughed on the water you had been about to drink, August got distracted and moved to light the candles that sat on the table in the centre of the room now that the only available light was the tiny light over the sink in the bathroom that was battery operated. You watched as he somehow managed to strike the matches and light the candles even though he was visibly drunk, before returning back to the bed and standing over you;

“Why aren’t you naked?” he frowned at you; “Don’t make me rip that pretty little dress off of you Princess”

Shimmying out of your dress you bit your lip as you watched him watching you, the low light dancing over your body and enough for you to see the obscene bulge barely contained by his sweatpants. He stood at the edge of the bed, towering over you before he took hold of your ankles and roughly pulled you to the edge of the bed before he pulled the grey sweats down and you finally got sight of his legendary hammer;

“Fuck…”

“We’ll get to that Princess, but first, suck”

Taking him in your hands he was hot and throbbing at your touch, his thick shaft patterned with veins, heavy and virile. You pumped your fist, your fingers unable to meet as you worked his uncut dick. You felt his hand on the back of your head, pulling you closer until you had no choice but to open your mouth and take him as deep as you could, gagging as he immediately hit the back of your throat and started to fuck your mouth.

Holding your head in place with both hands he rocked his hips back and forth, groaning as he stretched your lips almost uncomfortably. Soon you had spit running down your chin as he rained down a stream of degrading compliments;

“Cock hungry slut, look at you with my dick in your mouth… does it taste good, Jesus christ your tongue is perfect, yeah do that thing again, fuck, i can feel your throat tight around me…” with a gasp he pulled out, a trail of spittle hanging from your lips to his angry red tip, before he grabbed the baby oil and pushed you back until you were laying flat on the bed;

“Push your tits together, i’m gonna fuck them and cum all over your pretty face”

He climbed on the bed, straddling your lower torso as you found yourself pushing your breasts together. The click of a bottle of baby oil and it was being poured in the valley of your chest, before he settled his dick against the slick skin. He dropped the bottle and with a grunt pulled his hoodie over his head, revealing his glorious chest, covered in dark hair and thicker than you had realised. 

His dick was heavy against your chest as he took your hands in his and showed you how he wanted you to hold your titties for him, rocking his hips bath and forth as his hot flesh slipped through your soft pillows, the angry tip poking out at your neck with each thrust;

“So fucking pretty, gonna cum all over that face… you wanna taste my cum you little slut? Yeah? Cock hungry slut, can’t get enough of my dick, can you?”

You didn’t answer, the lust in his eyes making you drunk with desire, instead you tipped your head to your chest and opened your mouth, letting August’s dick slide into your mouth, the salty tang of his precum hitting your senses.

His thrusts were becoming rough and violent, his hips squeezing your ribcage as he fought back against the urge to cum, but you wanted it, needed it;

“August, will you cum on my face, pretty please?” you batted your eyelashes at him innocently and it was the final straw, and you watched as he threw his head back and thick ropes of his creamy seed spurted over your mouth and cheeks as he groaned so deliciously. On the last spurt you leaned forwards and took his tip into your mouth, gently laving your tongue over the leaking slit, before releasing him softly. August had eased his gasp on your tits, and using his thick finger he scooped the cum from your cheek;

“Open wide Princess”

Sticking your tongue out you sucked the bitter treat from his finger, before he repeated it with the other cheek. Finally swallowing you grinned at him;

“Thank you August”

His hand paused on your cheek, softly cupping it;

“Anything for you Princess… now scoot up the bed, i wanna eat that pussy again whilst i get you ready for my dick”

He swung his leg over so you could wriggle up the bed, and immediately he was laying between your legs, both of your thighs over his shoulders as he started to sloppily eat you out again, except this time his lubed fingers strayed to your asshole and he already had one knuckle deep in your back entrance. You were writhing against his tongue, and although not as accurate with his targets this time now that the alcohol in his system was taking hold, that wide tongue was driving you to heaven as his fingers pulled you down into the dark pits of depravity that hell could only contain. You were uttering almost incomprehensible gibberish, begging for more which he eagerly gave, a second and soon a third finger stretching your ass as he prepared you for what was yet to come. You came with a scream as his wide tongue tormented your pussy until you had to physically pull him by his curls to stop, breathless as you watched him kneel on the bed and grab the baby oil, pouring some onto his hand to lube his dick before smoothing a considerable amount over your asshole and lined up his now raging hard on with your stretched hole. He paused, looking down at you;

“Final chance to back out… do you want me to fuck your ass?”

“Yes… please August, i want your dick in my ass, i want you to cum in my ass, treat me like a dirty anal slut”

With a groan he pushed forwards, slowly breaching your body and you felt the uncomfortable stretch of having a dick slide into your ass. Even with the prep and the oil it still took a while for your body to relax enough for him to push in, but when he eventually was balls deep in your ass you felt so full you were sure you would burst;

“Oh my god… You’re so big…”

“Taking me like a champ Princess, even with the oil your ass is so fucking tight i’m struggling not to blow my load right here and now”

“Fuck my ass August, do it hard, i wanna feel it in the morning…”

With a roar he started to fuck into you, holding himself up on his massive arms as his hips pistoned into you, filling your barren depths as his pubic bone rubbed against your empty pussy and your juices flooded his crotch;

“So fucking wet Princess, leaking all down your ass, its only adding to the lube so i can fuck you harder. Your poor little battered asshole, you’re barely gonna be able to sit tomorrow… apart from back on my dick as we have breakfast, don’t think this is the only time i’m gonna fuck your ass, i’m gonna use this hole until you’re loose and stretched, so i can just bend you over and slide my dick into your ass. Gonna hide those stupid panties i bought you, i want you walking around bare, my cum dripping down your legs where there’s so much inside you, you can barely keep it inside… shame the gift shop didn’t sell plugs, i woulda’ filled you with my load and have you plugged and ready lubed for me to use whenever i pleased…”

August’s dirty talk had you cumming hard, squeezing him tight and yet he fucked you straight through it. Laying limp as he continued to fill your ass he slowed and moved, kneeling on the bed as he moved your legs from either side of his lips until both your feet were over one of his shoulders, pushing and pulling you until he had one arm firmly wrapped around your knees and he could fuck into your ass as he held you like a rag doll. The new position was tighter, deeper, and as you started to pant out with lust his free hand rested on your throat, squeezing carefully but firmly;

“Harder…” you panted out, your head swimming as your airway was restricted, and as he pounded into your ass you were both getting close.

“Gonna cum in your ass, fill you up with a massive load, you want that Princess?”

You tried to say yes, but all that came out was a tiny croak as his massive hand gripped your throat. Before you could even try again your orgasm hit, your eyes rolling back in their sockets as you squirted, your body gripping him so tight he reached his peak, pushing in as deep as he could as he pumped your ass full of his cum.

August released his grip on your neck, pulling out gently as he softly lay your legs on the bed;

“Did so well Princess, such a good little slut…”

You could only hum out a response, your mind as used as your body was.

-

You woke to the sound of soft rain falling against the window, peering out from beneath the duvet you could see that the grey light of morning was filling the room, the storm seemingly blown mostly through with just a persistent rain now dampening the earth. Shifting on the bed you winced, everything was sore, but especially your ass. But then a warm body pressed to your back, a large hand smoothed over your stomach and a familiar voice spoke softly in your ear as stubble brushed against your bare shoulders;

“Rise and shine…”

“Hmmmmm no, i don’t wanna get up” you grumbled

“But…”

“Noooo. If we get up then we’ve got to think about things going back to normal, i just wanna pretend i’m able to stay in a hotel as nice as this when i’m not trying to escape a dangerous gang… too many responsibilities, too much stress… i just want another half hour of being treated like a Princess” you grumbled.

A quiet chuckle came from behind you;

“There’s no reason why we can’t do this again”

Turning in his arms, you looked at August;

“How? You’re my superior Agent, the CIA pushes and pushes and pushes, I never get enough time off to do something like this, If i had known i was literally signing my life away i would never have signed up for the academy. What’s the fucking use of earning a good wage if i can never enjoy it… and its not even that good of a wage to be honest…” you paused and narrowed your gaze; “Have you showered?”

“Yes. And i have a proposition for you…”

“Keep talking…”

August started to move, slowly climbing between your legs and you felt his hard dick resting against your folds, your pussy instinctively growing wet, slowly rubbing against you as he smiled down at you;

“As a senior agent i get a considerably better wage than you do, but i don’t have anyone to share it with, anyone to treat like a Princess and spoil with gifts that they deserve… but i also want someone that will be agreeable to my darkest desires…” he rocked his hips back before slowly parting his thighs, and you felt the nudge of his tip at your soaked pussy; “... someone, a woman i can treat like a Princess but will let me fuck them like a whore… can i fuck your pussy like a whore?”

The gentle nudge of his dick just stretching the ring of muscle that granted access to the heaven between your legs had you begging, pleading to be August’s Whore. He let out a sigh of pleasure as he slowly sank into your pussy, bare and unprotected filling you with his virile shaft;

“You’re my Slutty Princess…taking my dick like a pro”

In that hotel room August Walker became your sugar Daddy, and over room service breakfast you agreed the details of your arrangement as you sat on his lap, his dick in your ass as he fed you strawberries, before he grew impatient and bounced you on his dick until he came in your barren depths. Resting back against his chest, his softening dick still inside you he played with your pussy as he discussed the next step, trying to decide if a trip to an adult store or a jewellery store should be the first stop after returning to DC;

“How about a jewelled plug?” you suggested; “That’s the best of both worlds”

Holding your jaw he turned your head so he could kiss you, pulling away and grinning;

“See, that’s why you’re the perfect Princess, smart and sexy…”

You felt him start to harden in your ass again, wriggling and letting out a giggle as you felt him stretch your insides;

“Over the table or out on the balcony in the rain?” you asked

“Oooh lets do the balcony… its check out time so a few other guests will be able to see my little slut have her battered asshole filled with another load”

There on the balcony that overlooked the serene mountains August filled your ass again, your naked bodies soaked with the rain as he gripped your breasts whilst he fucked you from behind. 

You couldn’t wait to be August’s play thing.

[luimagines]

Not sure how familiar you are with Four Swords but would you be interested in writing separate Red, Blue, Green and Vio X reader? Obviously can be in an LU setting but doesn’t have to be! My girlfriend is a massive Four simp I know she’d swoon at this.

As always love your work! ❤️❤️

- Gaylactic-Fire

Masterlist

You've got it!

Color centric scenarios are a go!

Content under the cut!

Green

Your laughter bounced off of the forest canopy as you ran though the foliage.

Green held onto your hand tightly as he led the way, dodging in and out of bushes and the underbrush so frequently that you were sure you were thoroughly lost.

“Green!” You shout after a short twig scratches your ankle. “Where are we even going?”

“Somewhere special!” He replies with a wink over his shoulder.

That’s the only answer you get before he has you climbing over a particularly impressive rock, passing you the basket that he’s brought along and climbing right after you.

You shake your head and try your hardest not to look into the goods that he’s brought. He made you promise before you started out here to not peak and you don’t want to break it simply because you’re curios.

Granted, it a basket and he’s taking you somewhere special away from the people and his especially his brother- you think you can guess what’s inside and what you’re doing.

Green reaches up to where you are and takes the basket but a cheeky finger wave. “You promised~!”

“I know.” You snort. “I wasn’t looking.”

“Mm-hm...” He takes your hand again and begins to pull you along gentler along the rock and moves aside a curtain of vines before ushering you forward.

It’s a hidden tunnel and with wide and delighted eyes you venture forward, your boyfriend at your back before you come to a crystal cave, a blanket set on the dry rock below with multiple candles not only holding the blankets down but decorating the atmosphere with their flickering light, sending a filter of rainbow light across the cave.

A gasp leaves your mouth and you dash in front of the little display. “When did you do this? How did you find this place? I knew you taking me a for picnic but I didn’t think-”

“Happy anniversary.” Green holds out a single red rose in front of him a happy and bashful smile on his face.

Your heart drops to your feet when you accept the flower. “Green... oh, I’m sorry... I completely forgot. I didn’t get you anything.”

“I thought so.” Green admits. “You’ve been so nervous about acing your exams that you weren’t thinking much about anything else. But it gave me all the opportunity I needed to plan this, find this place and set everything up!”

“This is incredible Green, thank you.” You lean forward and kiss his cheek. “I’m sorry I’ve been so stuck in my head recently.”

“Don’t be.” Green takes your hands and kisses your knuckles. “If you pass the test you get to work in the castle as a royal court herbalist. It’s a big deal. They only accept the best of the best.”

 “I’m so nervous.” You say confidently.

“That’s ok.” Green chuckles. “But take a break for a little, yeah? I brought your favorites.”

Blue

You had left him the forge to work on the latest commission but you were beginning to suspect that he hadn’t once paused or taken a break.

And that just won’t stand.

So you walk right on in and wave to Green who’s working the front of the shop.

Green brightens at seeing your face and throws a thumb back toward the entrance to the forge. “Blue’s back there.”

“Has he left at all?’ You ask with a small smile on your lips.

Green shakes his head.

You sigh and shake your head.” That’s what I thought.”

“Gonna get him out?”

“I’m gonna try.” You admit with a shrug and walk toward the door.

“If anyone can, it’s you.” Green calls as you leave and you take a breath to brace yourself for the smell and the heat of the place.

You walk on it and look around, trying to get past the always dim light and spot him in the back by the anvil, the glowing amber light of the metal lighting up his face.

You step as close as you while still being safe of the sparks. 

“Blue!” You call out. 

He stops and looks up from the project before dunking it in the bucket of water nearby.

He leaves it there and begins to make his way over to you with a smile on his face. “Hey. I’m still working.”

“I can see that.” You say with a smile. “I was wondering if you would like to go get something to eat with me.”

Blue stalls for a moment, the idea waging a war in his mind. “...I’m still working.”

“It’s just a break, Blue. It’ll still be there when you get back.” You try to persuade him. “Please.”

You put on your cutest puppy eyes and lean closer, even going as far as to put hand in front of you as you plead your case. 

Blue bites his lip and worries the leather of his gloves but he doesn’t say anything.

You wait for a moment and drop your hands. “Is that a no?”

It’s hard to hide the disappointment in your voice and facial expression and you know that Blue sees it.

But you smile a little and nod. “That’s fine. We still have that date planned this weekend, right? I’ll.... I’ll see you then.”

“No.” Blue takes of his gloves. “I’m coming. Let’s go get lunch.”

“I- Really?” You blinked and don’t bother hiding your grin. “And you’re commission?”

“It’ll be there when I get back.” Blue takes the apron off and puts it on a nearby hook, taking your hand as he begins to leave the forge.

You’re sure that there’s a lot of safety hazards that he’s currently throwing out the window but Green is good at this too so hopefully he’ll cover for Blue.

You both exit and Blue is barely holding himself together. He’s just short of sprinting away from the shop entirely, waving to his brother on the way out while you giggle and give Green a wink.

It’s lunch time!

Red

“RED!” You cried out into the open. “RED!”

No one answers.

“Oh man, why me?” You whine and begin jogging down the road. “Of all days! ...RED! RED!”

Still nothing.

You at least take a moment to thank your lucky stars that there’s no one else on the road beside you or else they’d think you’re crazy for simply yelling out a color and expecting something to happen.

“I’m here!” You hear him call out at last.

Relief covers your entire body in a single wave and you pick up your pace. “Red, where have you been? Vio is going to have an aneurism about being on time with the dinner with your dad and grandpa and ....oh dear...”

You look up and see a very familiar red tunic... hanging upside down- hat on the ground and boots in the air, a single foot stretched out and held by a rope trap connected to a very tall tree.

You blink and sit yourself on the forest floor under you. “How is it that only you get into these kind of things?”

Red sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. I didn’t know this was even here.”

“Clearly.” You run your hand through your hair and take a deep breath. You look around him and take in the tree. It looks like it can be climbed easily enough and if you can get up, you can undo the rope at the top, get your boyfriend out and then still have enough time to go doll yourself up for the first family dinner you’ve been invited to.

No pressure.

“You’re so lucky I love you.” You get up and pat Red out of the way to get a good grip on the tree bark in front of you.

“What are you doing?” 

“Getting you out Sweetheart, what does it look like I’m doing?” You reply and begin the climb.

“Please be careful.” Red gulps a bit and tried to ignore the amount of blood that’s been rushing to his head.

Finding the rope that holding your lover hostage is a bit more challenging than getting into the tree to begin with but you find it well enough.

You don’t have anything sharp to simply cut him free but you do have two hands- determination, spite and a whole lot of gumption at your disposal to try to undo the knot in the tree.

It’s takes an age.

But when you see that you’re making progress you get excited and tell Red to get ready to fall.

He doesn’t respond but you can somewhat see him nod and try to figure out how on earth he was going to land without hurting himself.

You feel like you should be helping him in that regard but you’re not on the ground anymore and someone still has to get the knot out.

It slips and Red falls right into a practiced roll like the professional that he is and you cheer on his behalf. “YAY! Red, you’re free!”

He laughs and goes to stand, wobbling immediately at the rush of blood but manages to stand on his feet.

You drop down from the tree after him and rush to give him a hug. “Hey there handsome!”

“Hello beautiful!” Red hugs you back. 

“Come on now! Or we’re going to be late!” You jump and begin to pull back through the forest. 

You do not want to give his family a bad impression of you after all.

Vio

“My love, you have to get up now.” Soft lips brush against your cheek with a sweet peck before a hand shakes your shoulder somewhat.

You blink your eyes open with a smile and roll over to the other side, completely ignoring the man in front of you.

“I saw that.” Vio chuckles and continues to shake your shoulder. “You said you’d help out in the shop today. you have to get up if you want to be there on time.”

“Nu-uh.” You hum and try to burrow deeper into the warm blankets.

Vio shakes you a little harder.

“Five more minutes.”

“No.” Vio says your name with the same exasperation as he would when dealing with Red. He hates that you two have this in common.

You’re content to stay in bed and fall back asleep until the blankets are unceremoniously ripped away from you.

The cold air had you curling in on yourself in an instant and you whined as loud as you could without opening your mouth to show your annoyance toward your boyfriend.

“Time to be awake now.”

“I don’t wanna~” You groan and roll around again, looking for a familiar mop of blond hair. “Why must you do this to me? I thought you loved me.”

That actually manages to get Vio to laugh before he crawls into bed next to you and lays down close enough where his nose just barely brushes yours. “I do love you. It’s why I’m making sure my lover can keep their promises and not become a hypocrite. It won’t look good on me if the love of my life begins slacking.”

You hum and close your eyes, reaching out for his hand and taking it into your own. You pull it up and give him a small kiss on his knuckles and sigh. “I suppose it really wouldn’t do you any good if your lover was a scoundrel.”

Vio snorts. “That and Red was excited about you joining in him in the front today so he’s been talking non stop about it.”

You groan louder and roll away from him, going so far as to roll off of the bed and hit the floor with your full weight.

Vio winces by the sounds and pushes himself upright. “You ok?”

“I really hate it when Red get disappointed.” You groan as loud as you can before getting up and stretching your arms over your head. “He always looks like he’s about to cry and then I want to cry with him and it’s a whole mess. I swear sometimes he does it on purpose.”

“Sounds about right.” Vio smiles and begins to put the bed together. “Go get ready. I’ll clean up.”

You yawn and nod. “Good morning by the way.”

“Good morning.” Vio says through his giggles. “Blue is making breakfast.”

“He’s gonna burn the toast again.”

“When does he not?”

“I can hear you!” Blue shouts from the stairs just beyond your bedroom door.

You snort and pop your head out. “Sorry Blue!”

Vio smirks and adjusts the corner until they’re flat and decent again. He’d be lying if he said that these weren’t some of his favorite mornings.

Bonus Shadow!

“I know you’re there~” You grin, not looking behind you as you attempt to finish the dishes for the night.

The flickering candle light made the shadows appear longer than they would usually and they sifted with the wave of the fire as the candle burned into the night.

No one answered your little tease but you knew you were right.

There a thickness in the air when you took a breath. It was your only clue that you weren’t alone. Others might have been frightened or confused by your relaxed nature when something was going on but you knew you just had to wait a minute and the problem would solve itself.

You were being watched but you wanted to coax him out.

“I’m almost done here.” You smile and let the water rinse off the plate you were holding before putting in the rack. “Then we can head upstairs a little while. Not much we can do in the dark.”

“I beg to differ.” The voice replies. “There’s plenty to do in the dark.”

You smirk. “Then beg.”

“Well that’s not very nice.” Arms come to wrap around your waist as a chin hooks onto your shoulder.

You giggle as a strand of hair tickles your cheek and you try to blow it aside with a small gust of air but it doesn’t work.

You sigh and let it happen, taking care to not get the person next to you wet. You take the next plate and rinse it under the water, trying to get the soap off of it and put it away to be dried later.

“Are you done?” The voice whines.

“If I say yes, will that you make you happy Shadow?” You smirk and turn your head to look at him. 

Truthfully, he looks exhausted as it is. He has dark circles under his eyes and paler complexion than usual. He takes a minute to respond as he looks at the dishes in the sink and back to you. He takes a breath and nods.

You snort and dry your hands, turning around to hug him back properly and rest your head in the crook of his neck as well.

“Do you want to go to bed?” You ask him. “You look tired.”

“I am tired.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

You both stand there in the middle of your kitchen and sway a little, taking in each other warmth and comfort.

Shadow takes another breath and straightens up from curling around you. “Yes, please.”

[when-i-was-your-angel]

A Favor

James “Bucky” Barnes x Reader

5,584 words

Y/N, the Avengers resident seamstress, tailors a suit for Bucky. She cashes in her favor.

NSFW: Virginity Loss, Virginity Loss as a favor, Minor Alcohol Use, Lingerie, Fingering, Oral female receiving, oral male receiving, facefucking, deepthroating, praise kink, missionary, Bucky’s metal arm, curvy reader, minor insecure reader, body worship, hickeys, angst, fluff, smut, hurt comfort ending.

   Six months ago Bucky Barnes needed help. He couldn’t find a suit that fit right around his arm and having one tailored by a stranger was too uncomfortable. So, he approached Y/N. As the team’s resident seamstress, he had grown used to Y/N’s gentle hands and soft touches while she worked on various aspects of his tactical gear. This was different, though. This wasn’t work. This was a favor. Friends do favors. Bucky didn’t have friends. Especially not really pretty soft-spoken friends. But, Stark insisted he have a nice suit for some gala, so he asked.     

     Y/N had immediately accepted, saying it was no problem. It really wasn’t. Tailoring was her job after all. His suit ended up looking phenomenal and Bucky got quite a few compliments, making sure to tell everyone who designed his sleek black suit. Bucky offered to pay her but she refused. Bucky insisted on doing something to pay her back. They ended up agreeing that he owed her a favor.

       Over the time she was tailoring him, they grew close. Y/N and Bucky were unlikely friends, but they quickly became the best of them. Bucky would bring her lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when he had nightmares he’d call her and they’d talk for hours, he brought her coffee in the mornings, and she brought him freshly made gloves every time he tore his open. They were just perfect for each other. Best friends and nothing more.

    Now, six months past the gala, Y/N has decided to cash in her favor. She’s pacing her small apartment. Her faded blue jeans hugged her hips as she walked and her blouse was unbuttoned slightly more than what would be considered professional. It was seven in the evening, Y/N had just arrived home from work. She had made plans with Bucky a week ago and he would be arriving any minute. She was in the middle of pouring herself a glass of wine when a knock came at the door. Y/N rushed over to it, smoothed her hair down, and opened the door.

    Bucky looked amazing. Dressed in dark jeans and that black fucking tee shirt. He had on his leather jacket and glove, but she knew he would take those off once inside.

    “Come in.” Y/N moved aside to allow him access and he smiled, taking his jacket off and putting it on her coat rack. His hair had grown out slightly, no longer trimmed close to the scalp. The realization made Y/N squeeze her thighs together in anticipation.

    “You want anything to drink?” Y/N asked, retreating to her kitchen to fetch her abandoned glass of white wine.

    “Water would be nice.” Bucky sat on her couch, waiting for her to return. Y/N made him a glass of water just how he liked it. Cool water from the fridge with no ice. He always said the cold hurt his teeth, but she knew he hated the way the cold glass felt on his metal hand.

    Y/N returned to the couch, sitting on the opposite end and tucking her legs underneath herself. She offered him his glass of water which he took with a muttered thank you.

    “So, what’s this about?” Bucky asked, taking a sip of his water. His left arm was draped around the back of the couch, his right arm in his lap holding his water. He had his left leg half-crossed over his right. He looked good. Casual. Like he belonged in the space.

    “I wanted to cash in my favor.” Y/N couldn’t look at him. Her eyes were glued to her hands in her lap. “For tailoring your suit.”

    “What, six months of the pleasure of my company wasn’t enough?” Bucky gave her a smile to try and lighten the mood but when he saw the look on her face he quickly grew serious.

    “What’s up, doll? Talk to me.” Bucky leaned forward and set a hand on her knee. Y/N looked down at his hand, then at his stark blue eyes, and took a large gulp of her wine.

    “Ok. So uh… the thing is... “ Y/N mumbled and trailed off, nervous beyond all belief.

    “Do you need money? Is Stark not paying you enough?” After she shook her head, Bucky spoke again. “What is it then?”

    “I- I need you to have sex with me.” Y/N said, looking up to meet his eyes. Bucky’s face was completely neutral. Not neutral- frozen, Y/N realized.

    “I know it’s totally unfair to ask this of you but please, just listen.” Bucky gave her a barely perceptible nod.

    “When I was in high school, I did everything right. I didn’t date, I didn’t party, I studied. That’s it. Then college came around and I couldn’t let loose like I wanted to. Studying and working was just too ingrained in me. So, I’ve never…” She trailed off, hoping Bucky would understand.

     “Never what?” With anyone else, Y/N would’ve thought they were messing with her. But Bucky had said it himself, he couldn’t lie to her. His face was genuine.

     “Never had sex, Buck.” Y/N looked down at her hands, picking at her fingernails.

     “You mean you’re a-”

     “Yeah.”

     “And you want me to-”

     “There’s no one I trust more than you.” Y/N met his eyes and saw the internal battle in them. He wanted to be there for her, but he didn’t trust himself. He eventually broke the thick silence to ask her a question.

     “But, you’re twenty-two. How have you never had sex?” Bucky brought a hand to rest on his jaw, looking like he was solving a puzzle.

     “I’ve gotten close. My ex-boyfriend he uh- he tried a few times. But it never felt right. It felt gross and I was so nervous I wanted to puke. After I wouldn’t put out, he dumped me.” Y/N tucked her knees under his chin, curling into herself.

     “Matt?” She nodded. “I knew he was a scumbag.” Bucky sat forward and took his head in his hands, running his hands through his hair.

     “Why does it have to be me, again?” Bucky asked, still staring at the floor.

     “Because I trust you more than anyone else. Because I know you won’t let things get weird between us.” Bucky looked up at her and smirked.

     “I hoped my charming nature might’ve played into it a bit.” He gave Y/N his signature shit-talking grin. She rolled her eyes and kicked him lightly. After a few seconds the air turned heavy between them.

     “You don’t have to. I won’t be mad or anything. I just-” She sighed. “I don’t want it to be some one night stand with a guy I’ve never met. I know it’s stupid but I-”

     “It’s not stupid. I understand.” Bucky turned to face her and took her hand in his.

     “You trust me?” He asked, his blue eyes piercing her hazel ones.

     “Yes.” She answered honestly.

     “Ok.”

     “Ok? Does that mean yes?” Bucky laughed softly at that.

     “Yeah, yeah. You’ve convinced me. Let me go freshen up, hm?” Y/N gave him a smile and a nod. “Be right back, doll.” Bucky stood up with a disbelieving shake of his head and walked to Y/N’s bathroom.

     Y/N took a deep breath and threw her hand to her face. She could feel the heat on her cheeks, searing her hand. She reached for her wine, forgotten on the coffee table, and downed the rest of the glass. God knows she needed liquid courage.

    Bucky returned and Y/N only stared at him as he approached. Her eyes wide in anticipation. Bucky stopped inches in front of her and offered his hand.

    “I ain’t taking you on the couch, doll.” Bucky said in his smooth voice. The words combined with the tone had her clenching her thighs, something that didn’t go unnoticed. He gave a small smirk as she took his hand and let him lead her to her bedroom. Once inside the room, he motioned for her to sit on the bed and she did so. He kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his.

    “You sure about this, sweetheart?” Bucky was incredibly kind in his words, making sure she was positive.

    “You’re only making me more sure, Buck.” Y/N smiled at him and couldn’t help her eyes glancing down at his lips. They were so close to hers. She looked back to his eyes and saw that they were on her lips.

    “Can I kiss you?” His voice was quiet and low as his breath fanned across her lips. She nodded and brought a hand to his jaw as he leaned in. The first kiss they shared was short. Barely three seconds. But when Bucky pulled away and saw her eyes half-closed and pupils blown wide, he went back for more. Their lips crashed together and all Y/N could think about was how soft he was. The pink lips on hers felt like pillows, the hands on her knees felt like clouds. His hands travelled her denim-clad thighs and reached her round hips. Bucky gave an experimental squeeze, eliciting a moan from Y/N. Bucky smiled into the kiss.

    Y/N ran her hands into his hair, tugging lightly on the strands. Bucky groaned and pulled away slightly, only to move his lips to her neck. He left small love bites, soothing the bruised flesh with his tongue. Y/N whimpered and gasped as he worked.

    “Sensitive there, doll?” Bucky whispered against her skin. She could only nod, lost in him. He chuckled and pulled away, tugging at her shirt in silent question. She leaned back and pulled her shirt over her head, revealing baby blue lingerie. A laced corset accentuated her full breasts. There were lacy straps descending into her jeans, leaving just enough to the imagination. Bucky’s eyes travelled her form greedily. His hands came to rest on her waist, thumbs caressing the thin fabric.

    “Christ, Y/N. You’re gonna kill me.” Bucky pushed his lips into hers again letting his hands roam her figure freely now.

    “You next.” Y/N said between kisses as she pulled on his shirt. Bucky separated from her to pull his black tee shirt off.

    “Don’t expect anything lacy, doll.” Bucky gave her a minute to catch a breath. Her eyes roamed his form. She brought her hands to his chest and let her fingernails scratch over his abs gently. Bucky gave a low groan in his throat and covered her hands with his.

    “Baby… Don’t start something you’re not going to finish.” Bucky met her eyes to gauge her reaction.

    “Who says I’m not going to finish? I fully plan on finishing.” Y/N gave him a smirk and scratched her hands on his chest again.

    “Fuck, you asked for it.” Bucky groaned and pounced on her. Her back hit the bed and he leaned over her, caging her between his arms. She arched her hips into his and felt his erection even through both of their jeans.

    “Too many layers. Need to- need to feel you.” Y/N spoke between kisses. Bucky nodded and started kissing her neck again, trailing his tongue down the exposed skin. He left open mouthed kisses on her stomach through the lace of her lingerie. He popped the button on her jeans and pulled the zipper down, slowly dragging the denim down her thighs. Once they were off her long legs, he saw the continuance of her lingerie.

   Baby blue garters were strapped to her thighs, connected to crotchless panties. Glistening folds peaked out from behind the lacy material. He let out a sigh at the sight. Bucky tripped trying to rid himself of his own jeans, making Y/N giggle. His eyes snapped back to hers, amusement dancing in the blue.

   “What’s so funny, babydoll?” He crawled over her again, his black boxers the only thing left restraining his aching cock. She looked up at him with a ditzy smile on her face.

   “You’re a super soldier and you’re a-” Her words were cut off by a moan as Bucky’s right hand swiped through her folds, gathering her wetness on his fingers.

   “What was that, doll? You were saying?” He smirked at her as his fingers toyed with her clit. She only whined and moved her hips, rutting against his hand. Bucky looked down at her heat then back to her face, lost in pleasure.

   “Shit, baby. You fucking my hand?” Y/N nodded as a red blush came to her cheeks. Bucky leaned in to kiss her neck some more, letting her get herself off on his hand. She whimpered something he couldn’t quite hear.

   “Hm?” He pulled away from her neck, a goofy smile on his face, feeling drunk on her skin.

   “Said more, Buck. Please.” Her eyes opened to meet his, pleading want showing in the hazel hue. Bucky smiled and nodded, kissing down her body once again. Seeing where he was going, Y/N spoke.

   “You don’t have to- oh. Oh.” Her hands flew to the sheets as Bucky’s tongue slipped through her folds. Bucky sat up and pulled her hands to his hair, encouraging her to pull on it. He returned to her cunt and lapped at her clit. Y/N shivered underneath his touch. All the things he was doing were new experiences for her and Bucky was making sure they were all amazing. His tongue moved down to her hole, prodding at the entrance gently. He hooked her thighs over his shoulders and brought a thumb to her clit, rubbing small circles.

   “Bucky…” Various expletives and combinations of his name fell from Y/N’s lips as Bucky worked. “Bucky, your fingers. Please.” Y/N’s light gasp filled the air. Bucky nodded against her and brought his flesh hand up to tease her slit. Y/N caught the hand in her own and shook her head.

   “I want…” She trailed off, the embarrassment too much.

   “Want what, doll?” Bucky left small kisses on her thighs in reassurance.

   “I want the metal one.” Bucky’s eyes went wide at her words.

   “You- you want this? This turns you on?” He held up his hand, black and gold shimmering in the dull light of her bedroom. He had a look of pure confusion on his face. His hand was not something to be used here, with her. It was hard and cold and unforgiving, all things she was not. “Are you sure-”

   Bucky’s words were cut off as Y/N took his metal hand and lifted his index finger to her mouth, wrapping her swollen lips around it. She took the finger into the base, letting the tip hit the back of her throat. She coated it with her saliva and as she pulled it away there was a trail of wetness leading to her mouth.

   “Fuck… Christ, Y/N. You’re gonna give me a heart attack.” He pulled his metal finger from her grip and brought it to her heat, teasing the entrance with the first knuckle. She shivered and arched her back into his touch, trying to get more of him inside her. He slowly pushed the black and gold finger in, curling it experimentally. Y/N let out a pornographic moan when his finger brushed one particular spot. Bucky smirked.

    “Found you.”

    He brought his lips back to her clit, alternating between short licks and sucking the bud into his mouth. His finger maintained a steady pulse, hitting her G-spot with every movement. He could feel her clenching around his finger, her pussy pulling him in further.

   “You gonna cum, baby?” Bucky asked quickly, not wanting to take his mouth from her sweetness for any elongated time.

   “Yes, Bucky, Please, I’m so close.” She gripped his hair, pulling on it as she had imagined doing earlier.

   “Cum for me, doll. Cum all over my fucking metal hand.” The gentle vibrations of Bucky’s voice and the reminder of what exactly was making her feel so good sent her careening over the edge, holding onto his hair to keep her grounded in her body.

   “Bucky! Fuck, yes. Don’t stop, don’t fucking stop.” Her hips moved against his face, prolonging her orgasm. Bucky moaned into her center, enjoying the view of a beautiful girl in blue lingerie riding his face. When her hips stilled and her breath slowed, Bucky pulled away, his face covered in her slick. A blush came over her face at the sight.

   “You embarrassed?” Bucky asked her, coming to crawl over her again. She nodded briefly.

  “Don’t be. C’mere, baby. Taste yourself. Fucking delicious.” He pulled her to him by the neckline of her corset, crashing their lips together. She licked at his lips and he moaned at the feeling. Y/N pulled away and looked up at him with her swollen lips and darkened eyes. Bucky knew she was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. He pulled the straps of the garters away from her body and let them snap back against her soft skin.

   “This needs to go.” Y/N hummed in agreement and looked at him mischievously. She hooked her leg under his and flipped them so he was on his back. His eyes widened in wonder and confusion, silently asking for an explanation.

   “Nat.”

   “Of course.”

   Y/N climbed off him and began pulling the various straps off her body. Slowly and teasingly, she became more exposed to him. Bucky palmed himself through his boxers as he watched, letting out small gasps every time a new segment of skin was unveiled. When she had taken the garters off, the only thing left was the corset. She reached behind her to unclip the buttons and let the garment fall to the ground. Bucky’s mouth dropped open as her breasts were finally revealed. She brought her arms to cover her chest, embarrassed. His gaze darkened and he reached his hands out, beckoning her to him. She climbed into his lap and his hands came to rest on the small of her back. He took her hands and guided them away from her chest.

   “Baby, shit, why’re you hiding these?” Bucky’s hands ghosted around the sides of her heavy breasts.

   “I don’t like them.” Y/N admitted honestly. Bucky’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped in disbelief.

   “Y/N, believe me when I say, these are the best damn tits I’ve ever seen. Fucking beautiful.” Bucky leaned forward and captured a nipple in his mouth, circling his tongue around the nub. Y/N gasped as his metal hand came up to the other nipple, the contrast between his hot, soft, wet, mouth and his cold, hard, hand making her head spin.

  He pulled away from her to admire his handiwork. Red bruises on and surrounding her nipples.

  “Why don’t you like them?” He looked up to meet her eyes, a softness in them she didn’t get to see often.

  “The stretch marks…” Y/N looked down at her hands. Bucky pulled her chin up with his finger, forcing her to meet his eyes.

  “Baby. Do you realize who you’re talking to? Look.” He guided her hand to his left shoulder, shivering as her fingers ran over the scarred flesh.

  “I could give a shit less what scars you have. It just proves you’re strong. That you fought a battle and came out the other side. You’re beautiful.” Bucky raised himself up to press a kiss to her lips. Y/N smiled and shook her head, a blush covering her face. Bucky didn’t know how to convince her.

  “Let me prove it to you.” Y/N looked down at him. Bucky looked at her with earnest eyes. “Let me show you how beautiful you are.” Y/N was shocked at his gentleness. She had expected him to just have sex with her. She hadn’t predicted this level of intimacy. It was surprisingly… nice.

   “Ok.” Y/N said simply.

   “Ok? Gonna need something a little more enthusiastic than that, sweetheart.” Bucky’s words were teasing but she knew he was yet again making sure she was okay with this.

   Y/N threw her head back dramatically and exclaimed: “Take me! Take me and have your savage way with me!” Bucky roared with laughter and flipped her onto her back, kissing her lips gently.

   “That’ll do, doll.” Bucky kissed her neck gently and stood up.

   “Wait- what’re you doing?” Y/N asked. Bucky turned back to look at her, a bashful expression on his face.

   “I uh- I need a condom, doll. Unless you want a little me running around here.” Y/N let out a light laugh at the image. But something about the idea of a kid with Bucky’s eyes and her smile made her heart ache.

   “I mean, I’m on birth control. And I’m clean…” Bucky looks down at his hands. There was something more intimate about what she was asking him to do.

   “Yeah, me too. The serum it uh, keeps us from getting any diseases. STDs included. Lucky me, right?” Bucky gave a dry laugh and started walking back towards the bed. They were both suddenly a bit nervous. Y/N stood and took his hand, turning him so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. When she got on her knees in front of him, Bucky held out a hand to stop her.

   “You don’t need to-” Y/N gripped him through his boxers.

   “This is a learning experience right? Teach me how to do this too. For-” She took an uneasy pause. “For whoever comes next. Can’t be giving my first BJ to a stranger.” Bucky looked saddened by that. Whatever glimmer of emotion she thought she saw disappeared and he quickly reverted back to his normal self.

   “Yeah. Wouldn’t want that, hm?” Y/N looked up at him expectantly. Her eyes went from his boxers and back to his eyes.

   “Oh- right.” Bucky lifted his hips off the bed and slid his boxers off. His cock was at half-mast but was still shockingly large. Y/N’s eyes went wide. Gone were the nerves of a second ago. This was no longer present day Bucky, this was 40’s Bucky with all the swagger and charisma of a dashing young military sergeant.

    “Like what you see, doll?” Y/N rolled her eyes and looked up at him, awaiting instruction.

    “Ok, first, you’re gonna spit on your hand. Then start stroking.” Y/N obeyed. Bucky let out a loud hiss when her lubed hand touched his bare cock for the first time. She moved her hand up and down his shaft, twisting it slightly like she had seen in porn.

    “Fuck, sweetie. Just like that. Now, uh, lick the tip.” Bucky was already out of breath and Y/N decided she loved this. Loved seeing him come apart for her. Y/N leaned forward and placed an open mouthed kiss on the red tip. Bucky’s hips jutted into her mouth as he moaned.

    “Shit, sorry. Dunno what’s gotten into me.” Bucky looked down at her. Her eyes were half-closed, her lips were red and swollen, her neck was covered in marks that he had left… He knew exactly what had gotten into him. He just didn’t have the nerve to say it. It was times like these that Bucky Barnes really wished he could get drunk.

    Y/N kept stroking his cock as she pulled away to speak.

   “It’s okay. It was kind of hot.” She looked at him from under her thick eyelashes.

   “Yeah? You want me to do it again?” Bucky asked hesitantly.

   “Please.” Y/N replied.

   Bucky groaned and brought his hips a little closer to the edge of the bed.

   “You’re going to let me know if it gets too much at any time, alright?” Y/N nodded.

   “Open your mouth, doll.” Y/N did, opening as wide as she could to prepare for his girth. Bucky slid his cock into her mouth. “Breathe through- shit. Breathe through your nose, sweetheart. Relax your throat.” Y/N tried her best to obey his commands, sitting back on her heels to allow him to take full control. Bucky brought a hand to the back of her head, gathering her hair before starting to gently thrust into her mouth.

   “Fuck, baby. Feels so fucking good.” He looked down to see her staring up at him but the biggest shock was her hand between her thighs.

   “Are you- shit, are you touching yourself, doll?” She batted her eyelashes as if to say “What does it look like?” and he chuckled.

   “You look so good like this, baby. On your knees for me. Sucking- shit- sucking my cock like you were born to do it.” Bucky’s filthy words drew a moan from Y/N, sending vibrations through his cock. “Fuck! Oh- baby. Oh, god. This is gonna end a lot sooner than I’d like if we don’t stop.” Y/N made no move to pull away from him, continuing to let him fuck her throat.

   “Oh, is that what you want, hm? Want me to cum down that pretty throat of yours?” Y/N’s eyes fluttered closed as another moan escaped her. A shiver ran through Bucky’s body but he tapped her on the cheek. “Nuh-uh, babydoll. Wanna see those eyes. Those fucking eyes.” Y/N batted her eyelashes and moaned again. Bucky pulled out of her mouth suddenly. She pouted at him.

   “Doll- if I hadn’t stopped, I wouldn’t get to fuck you. That’s the whole point, right?” Bucky took her hand and pulled her to standing so he could kiss her. He pulled away so he could see her eyes flutter open, dizzy on him. “Those fucking eyes.” Bucky said with a smirk before picking her up and setting on the bed. She wrapped her legs around his waist and shivered when she felt his hot length on her thigh. Bucky looked at her one last time.

   “You sure, doll? I want this too, but I’ll go home with some major fucking blue balls if you’ve changed your mind.” Y/N threw her head back and laughed. Bucky only watched her, a soft smile coming across his face. How had he never noticed how beautiful her laugh was before?

   “I’m sure, Buck.” Y/N arched upwards to press a kiss to his lips.

   “Alright, then. What the lady wants…” Bucky reached between them and gripped his cock. He slid it through her folds a few times, gathering her wetness. Then he slowly pushed inside her with a loud groan from each of them. Bucky watched her face to gauge her reaction. A mix of pain and discomfort was painted on her features and it killed him. He hated hurting her but this is what she asked for. He continued pushing into her, inch by inch, trying to control his hips and keep from rutting into her. After a minute of tortuously slow moving, he bottomed out. A few tears had escaped Y/N’s eyes and he leaned down to kiss them off her cheek. Slowly, the look of pain disappeared from Y/N’s face.

   “Bucky-”

   “Yeah, doll?”

   “Please, move.”

   That was all it took to shatter his resolve. Bucky pulled out as much as she allowed him to, her pussy gripping him like a vice. He thrusted back into her warm depths, sighing at how well she took him.

   “So fucking tight, doll. Feels fucking heavenly.” Bucky’s fists tensed in the sheets beside her when she clenched around him.

   “Shit- oh. Someone has a praise kink.” Bucky muttered under his breath. Y/N nodded in desperation to hear him talk again.

   “You want me to keep talking? You like it when I talk to you, baby? Tell you how good you feel? How well you’re taking my cock?” Y/N shivered and her walls tightened around him.

   “Fuck, baby. You keep that up I’m not gonna last long.” Bucky propped himself up on his metal arm and reached his flesh one between their bodies, sticky with sweat. He rubbed gently at her clit as he thrusted, trying to time the rhythms together. Y/N cried out in pleasure, the sound music to Bucky’s ears.

   “Are you gonna cum, doll? Be a good girl and cum on my cock, yeah? Bet you look so fucking pretty when you cum for me.” Bucky kissed her neck sloppily, biting slightly on her pulse point. Bucky’s words and the new sensation sent her over the edge. Y/N’s hands gripped her pillow as Bucky sat back to look at her. She was beautiful as she came undone on his cock. She looked majestic. Holy. Like a goddess he’d get on his knees and pray to or a queen he’d serve until his dying breath.

   “Bucky, oh- baby. Just like- Oh-” Y/N shivered as her orgasm wrecked her, every thrust of Bucky’s hips prolonging the sensation. Bucky took in her post-orgasmic state.

   She was a mess. Her tits were sweaty and shiny as they bounced in the dull light of her bedroom. Her neck was covered in a smattering or bruises. She seemed to notice his gaze because she reached for him, pulling his face down to hers and kissing him roughly. She looked down to where their bodies met. Bucky’s eyes followed her own and he moaned in absolute delight at the scene. He closed his eyes quickly out of reflex. Protect himself. Protect Y/N. Don’t lose control. Y/N placed a gentle kiss on his nose and his eyes snapped open to meet hers.

   “Let go.” That simple sentence gave Bucky a gentle push over the edge and then he was falling. Not a hard fall with an ending that would leave him mentally unstable and minus an arm, but more of a pleasant roller coaster drop. He felt safe in her arms as he let go, shooting ropes of white cum inside her.

   “Y/N- fucking hell. Baby- So fucking good.” Bucky was very vocal as his hips slowed to a stop. His cock twitched from the oversensitivity. He knew he’d have to pull out eventually, but he wasn’t in any hurry. She was wet and warm and inviting and the world outside her bedroom was cold and cruel and unforgiving. Bucky knew he’d stay there forever if she let him.

   But that’s not what he was here for. Not for life, not even for the night. Just for an hour. Just until she’d had her cherry popped and she’d send him on his way like some kind of sick business deal. With great effort, Bucky convinced his body to pull from her soft depths, smearing cum and slick down her thighs. He stood and began gathering his clothes.

   “What- what’re you doing?” Bucky looked back at Y/N. She had her knees tucked into her chest and was staring up at him with those fucking eyes.

   “I’m leaving.” Y/N’s eyes drooped at his words.

   “Oh.”

   Bucky pulled on his boxers and elected to get changed out of her view- the harsh stare on his back was getting to be too much. He had his hand on the doorknob when she spoke.

   “Please- please don’t go.” This time when Bucky looked at Y/N, her eyes were rimmed with tears. He dropped his clothes and ran to her, cradling her face.

   “Why’re you crying, babydoll? What’s wrong?” His eyes sought hers, trying to understand what was happening behind them.

   “You were going to leave.” Y/N’s tears hadn’t fallen yet. She was always so strong. Bucky wished he knew how to make her feel safe enough to be weak.

   “I figured you’d want me to.” His thumb stroked her cheek.

   “No. I- I want you to stay. Please stay.” Y/N’s hands reached up and wrapped around his wrists, keeping them in place.

   “Then I’ll stay. I’ll stay, doll. Just please- don’t cry.” Bucky kissed her forehead and pulled her into his chest. If he felt a small wet spot growing where her head lay, he didn’t say anything.

   Eventually she pulled away from him. Y/N’s eyes met his and Bucky knew then- he was wrecked. Utterly, completely, wrecked.

   “Will you sleep with me?” She asked. He understood she meant sleep next to her in bed. Keep her warm with his touch and keep her mind calm with his presence. He nodded and she unravelled herself from his arms. She stood and tucked herself into her warm covers, beckoning for him to join her. Her body was naked still, but he didn’t care. Preferred it, actually. Not for any perverted reason. He had missed the feeling of warm flesh on his own. A body that wasn’t about to die underneath him. It was...nice.

  Bucky crawled into bed beside her, exposing his right side for her to cuddle into if she wished. She did. She laid her head on his shoulder and ran a hand up and down his stomach, tracing invisible patterns.

   “Thank you.” She said.

   “Anytime.”

   After a while, her breath evened out. He watched her back rise and fall. He knew he had to leave in the morning- but for now he’d allow himself to indulge in the simple pleasures of the smell of her shampoo and the way her heart beat in time with his.  

[buckysgoldenheart]

Just Us

Henry Cavill x Reader

Summary: Henry is sick and tired of you bringing dates back to your shared apartment, and he has no problem letting you know. So basically, mega jealous Henry, which I am a pathetic sucker for.

Warnings: mentions of sex, lots of cursing. I think that’s it.

Notes: this is kind of similar to another fic I did, and I try not to do that, but I just really felt the need to write this, so I did.

Words: 2732

Henry’s mood turned sour the second you walked through the door with your date in tow. You came in with a bright smile on your face that he returned with a scowl, but you did your best to brush it off. Your roommate acting like an overgrown child every time you brought home a guest was nothing new; you certainly weren’t surprised, and you had no intention of stooping to his level.

“Don’t mind us,” You called to Henry from over your shoulder as you shed your coat and draped it on the hook. “This is James.”

Henry only grunted in response, not looking up from fixing his dinner; peanut butter about to be spread messily on a slice of wheat bread. You rolled your eyes, took James’s coat and led him over to the couch where he smiled sweetly when you invited him to sit and offered him a drink.

Entering the kitchen, you opened the fridge door and pulled out two beers. “So?” You asked, your eyebrow raised as you searched for the bottle opener in the junk drawer. Henry dropped the knife with a clang on the countertop, then turned to you and crossed his arms.

“So, you just thought this was fine,” He asked, his voice dripping with aggravated sarcasm as he shrugged his broad shoulders and frowned. “Just whatever, no big deal?”

You chuckled at the weak argument you’d had at least three times before. You wouldn’t have given him the chance to say anything about your date at all if you knew he wasn’t going to hang on to it the entire night just to explode in the morning for bringing a stranger into his home. Your home too, you would often have to remind him. So, it was your mission to let him get the anger out early in the night. You’d be less likely to have to worry about it later and could focus your attention on the man sitting in your living room rather than Henry’s imminent frustration.

“Henry,” You sighed and took a sip of your beer. “As of right now, it’s just the continuation of an innocent date. We’re going to watch a movie.”

“As of right now?” Henry huffed deeply. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means that if it gets a little heated, I promise not to make out with him in front of you, but at this current time, you have little to worry about.”

He sucked in a long breath through his nostrils. “Ok, that’s—”

“And we won’t fuck on our couch. I’ll take him to my room so you don’t have to see anything scarring,” You teased with a wink.

“Ok, enough.”

“And we won’t be loud, I swear.”

“Enough!” He snapped. You quickly whipped your head around the corner to see if James heard, but he was still sitting there, playing with his fingernails as he patiently waited for you like the gentleman he was. When you looked back at Henry, he was practically quaking with anger. “Get that asshole out of my apartment.”

“Um, our apartment. And no thank you.” You smiled and cocked your head to the side as innocently as you could. “I’d like to be having sex tonight.”

“With him?” Henry pointed a long finger in your date’s general direction. The fury in his eyes could’ve stabbed James through the back of his head if the wall weren’t in the way.

You rolled your eyes. “Obviously.”

“For fucks sake, Y/N. Have some self-respect.”

Your playful smile instantly dropped, and if you weren’t leaning against the wall, you would’ve stumbled. Henry had said a lot of things before; Hurtful things, things that made you want to slap him, but something about this felt worse. Assuming you were devaluing yourself by wanting to have sex with a man who was sweet, and kind and generous, and million other lovely things men, other than Henry, have never been to you, was like a stab to the gut. Henry was your best friend; you were his. You supported his choices and dreams, and it seemed Henry did the same for you unless it came to this very particular subject. He hated every man you brought around, but bringing them around or getting involved with them did not make you a stupid girl who cannot take care of herself.

“Jesus Henry, stay in your lane, would you?” You said, shaking your head and rubbing at your temple with your free fingers. “I don’t need my best friend giving me shit. Why can’t I bring a guy here without you acting like a complete dick to him and me?”

He stepped closer until you had to look up to meet his glare. “You’re a very smart girl, Y/N. Figure it out,” he growled, then moved around you, but you grabbed his arm before he could escape yet again. Every time, he tried to escape. Every time, he stomped away from you like a grump as if you had some reason to be sorry or ashamed, and you weren’t having it any longer.

“We aren’t children, Henry. I’m not playing this game. If you’ve got a problem with me, say it to my fucking face.”

He stared at you for a long beat, but then shook your hand off him and made his way down the hall, slamming the door to his room once he was inside.

 -----------------------------------------------------

James was better than most at kissing you, and you’d kissed your fair share. He knew what you wanted--how you liked things--without you needing to ask, and it was like its own little miracle. There was no fumbling around. His lips were firm and his arms around you were strong. He was confident in his touch on your skin as you straddled his lap, and all of it combined had you a moaning, whimpering mess.

“I wasn’t sure we would actually get to do this,” He said between kisses as you both tried to catch your breath.

“Why?” You lightly chuckled, your fingers skimming down to the little buttons holding his shirt together and easing one open. “I’m certainly having a good time.”

“Believe me sweetheart, I am too, but Superman there looked like he wanted to kick my ass.”

Fucking Superman. That asshole had come out of his room at random, inconvenient times as you and James lightly pawed at one another throughout the movie, and you both could feel Henry’s eyes on you. After the look he gave you the first time he came into the living room, you stopped turning your heads his way when his heavy footsteps thudded against the hardwood.

You made a low humming sound that had James’s cock twitching in his pants, and you moved your head down to peck your lips against his. “Don’t bother with him,” You whispered.

He leaned into the light scratching your nails were giving the side of his scalp, and with a groan, said, “If you say so, babydoll, I won’t give it a second thought.”

“Good.” You smiled, satisfied, then kissed him again but he pulled back barely a minute later.

“It’s just…the way he looks at you.”

“He’s a protective friend.” You snickered and ground your hips down on his a little harder to get him back on track.

He groaned as his fingers dug into your waist, but it didn’t distract him. “No, it’s not only that. It’s like…” His lips pursed trying to find the words. “He looks at you in a way that friends normally do not look at one another.”

“He’s got some weird attitude tonight, ok? It’s nothing.” Grabbing his cheeks, you forced him to look directly at you when you said, “Now keep kissing me before I get too impatient.”

 -------------------------------------------------------------

At two in the morning, you figured you were safe. You figured there would be a direct and easy path to the front door of your apartment as you let James out with a smile and a goodbye kiss and promises to text one another the next day, though you weren’t sure how much either of you really meant it. And you were right, there was an uninterrupted tiptoeing to the door. It was when you turned back for your bedroom that you realized the path had a roadblock.

Henry stood in front of you, the fumes nearly visibly wafting off him, with the harshest look he had ever directed at you taking over his entire face. It was a disservice to his handsome features and made your stomach twist uneasily.

“Is this for fucking real right now?” He growled so intensely it vibrated in your ears. “Did I just see what I think I saw?”

“Jesus, Henry, you scared me.”

“You actually slept with that guy?”

“Wh—”

“Un-fucking-believable.” Laughing half-heartedly, he ran one of his hands down his face, but that was all it took for the shock to wear off and for your annoyance to set in.

“Ok, I’m done with this. What is your goddamn problem?”

The two of you didn’t fight this way. Not for long anyway, and even so, this time was significantly worse than any other. Outbursts happened for the both of you, snapping, and words you wish you could take back, but Henry was still looking at you the way he had earlier in the night; like you were a reckless child he was losing respect for by the minute, and it broke your heart.

He stared at you as if expecting you to have an answer to your own question, but when you didn’t continue, he shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck, and said, “I’m going to a hotel. I can’t be here right now.”

“What? Henry, why?”

His keys were in hand, his phone and wallet tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants, when it finally registered to you that he wasn’t kidding. He was leaving so fast he didn’t care to take anything other than the necessities with him. That’s how much he wanted to get away from you, and you hated it. You never wanted to get away from him.

Light from the hall streamed through the doorway as you finally began to follow after him. You grabbed at his t-shirt when he wouldn’t respond to your repeating calling of his name, and he whipped around fast with a frown down at you. Your mouth kept opening and closing, unsure of what to say.

He sniffed once, thinned his lips, and removed your hand from his body, then as calmly as he had spoken all night, said, “I’m in fucking love with you.”

Then door was slammed behind him, jarring you and leaving you to soak the night in.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------

When he said those words to you, the six words that he would never be able to take back, the ones that irrevocably changed your friendship in the blink of an eye, everything inside of you began to tremble and vibrate and beat with such intensity you could almost feel the functions of your body. Your blood was pumping a hell of a lot faster and you heart was ready to burst.

Your brain, your skin, the nerves and veins under that skin; every bit of you was working overtime to help process what happened and keep you alert as you did so, and maybe it was all a little overkill, but he had said the one thing you never thought you’d hear.

I’m in fucking love with you.

It would repeat over and over in your head, bouncing around the walls of your skull as it tried to find a way to escape, but there was no use. You could never forget his confession, or the way he said it. There was something desperate about it, weak. There was exhaustion, as if he were tired of holding it back and had given up on even trying.

It was too much. You’d never dismiss it, and God, when he got his ass back home you wouldn’t let him brush it aside, but for now, it was too much.

You wanted sleep after sitting completely still for two hours, staring into space. So you carried your body to the closest room, his room, crawled into his bed, and tangled yourself within the sheets until you wouldn’t be able to unwrap yourself without effort you did not possess at such an ungodly hour. You were stuck, trapped, engulfed by him, just like you wanted to be. Then you took his king-sized pillow, massive like his body, and hugged it to your chest, tucking your face in it. It smelled like him, all musky and piney and perfect in a way that always made you dizzy when he would sit a little too close and drape a long arm around your shoulders as you watched tv or read a book.

And you cried yourself to sleep, wishing he was beside you.

 --------------------------------------------------------------

Henry came back in the morning, though he wasn’t sure how he gathered the courage. Maybe it was the fact that it was you. Just you, his best friend, his roommate. He loved you in more ways than one, and perhaps it was that knowledge that made him a little stronger.

He’d face you, and he’d do it with the intention of making everything clear. He was in love with you and it wasn’t going to change. He loved you as his friend; that wasn’t going to change either, and no way in hell was he going to lose you twice over.

Taking a few deep breaths, Henry unlocked the front door and eased his way inside. You weren’t around the sunlit soaked first floor of the apartment, and when he traipsed upstairs and nudged your door open, you weren’t there either. He wanted you tucked in your bed, not gone and probably terrified at the thought of seeing him, so running to James’s or Jake’s or Jason’s apartment to avoid him. That would be the perfect painful exclamation point on the disaster of his poor decision making.

Then he found you. Not missing, but snug in his bed, warming the mattress with your body as it dipped the slightest under your weight. Everything about the sight killed him and melted his heart simultaneously. There you were, laying peacefully angelic, right where he had wanted you for months. And it looked so beautifully natural.

Not even stopping to think, Henry inched his way to the other side of his bed, lifted the duvet and slid beneath it. He reached an arm around your waist and pulled you close to kiss your forehead, then tucked his face into the crook of your neck. When you stirred, he leaned back to take in your face as your eyebrows scrunched and your lips parted in a yawn.

You didn’t open your eyes but rose a hand, placed it on his cheek, and ran a thumb along the corner of his mouth. As the goosebumps spawned all over his body, he wasn’t even sure you were fully awake, but then you whispered, “It was always you, Henry. Always.”

Henry swallowed hard as your sleepy voice continued.

“I figured you weren’t an option, and I was doing my best working around that.”

After running a hand over your hair and tucking some behind your ear, Henry pressed a kiss to your lips. A short, soft one to see how you’d react. Then you opened your eyes slowly and met your Y/E/C with his blue.

“Do it again,” You said, and so he connected your lips a little firmer, tightening his hold on you, and rolling on his back until your body splayed over his.

You moaned when he caressed his tongue against yours after opening your mouth an inch. Your heart fluttered in your chest the stupid way dramatic, moony-eyed women often described it in novels. You thought it was a myth, the idea that anyone could make you feel so loved just from a kiss, and you’d lost hope for that kind of thing long ago. But Henry ripped your pessimism to shreds in a matter of minutes.

���I want you to be mine,” he mumbled against your lips. “Just mine.”

“Then I’m yours,” You said without hesitation, tilting your head back enough to look in his eyes. You nudged your nose against his. “Just yours.”

---

Tags: @dugan365 @moonlightimagination @pietrotheavenger @marvel-fanfiction @hawkeyeharrington @dani-si @wintersoldier98 @then-there-was-me-emily @prxttybirdz​ @jazzwoman897​ @meganwinchester1999​ @ufffg​ @debra77​ @rebelliouscat​ @anise-d-castle6​ @projectxhappiness​ @lowkeysebby​ @stringgeek13​ @notmyfault404​ @jjamesbbarness​ @guera31​ @sophiatomlinson23​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @hiddles-rose​ @picapicapicassobaby​ @lokilvrr​ @sunshine-seven @harrysthiccthighss​ @agniavateira​ @forthebrokenheartedthings​ @tumblnewby @summersong69​ @starlite13​ @mstgsmy​ @purplelove75​ @defffcc​ @the-soot-sprite​ @kissthatlifeaway @atomicpaperhairdouniversity​ @aquariuslavenderhoney​ @the-problem-of-leisure​ @amberlokabrenna​

[hyunjilicious]

the set up [chris evans]

A/n: this is the reworked version of an older fic that I wrote!!! I loved the vibe so I didn’t want to allow it to get lost in the void!!

Summary: Some mutual friends decide you and Chris would make a cute couple and decide to set you two up!! (SMUT) 6.4k

Warmings: smut, unprotected sex and they also just met so I strongly advise you to not follow their example, oral (both), brief mentions of spanking, hair pulling and dirty talk. It’s chill y’all.

This is a standalone fic, and not part of any series!

“If this girl-”

“She’s great!” Scott cut Chris off harshly, already above tired of his brother’s endless flow of nasty comments.

“I feel uncomfortable doing this!” Chris protested again from the passenger’s seat, shifting around, eyes fixed on the road ahead, “At least tell me what she’s like!”

“Gorgeous” Scott belted, nodding his head to accentuate his point, “Smart as fuck so you better control yourself” he said so sternly, not even a drop of sarcasm escaping his lips, “She’s also into old music so you can talk to her about that? Kind of-”

“So then- God this is still weird” Chris sighed, rubbing his hands across his face, not used to the idea of being set up with a girl. Maybe he wouldn’t be as terrified and nervous if all his friends hadn’t been constantly going off about how great you were, because considering their history, Chris was sure there was something horrible Scott forgot to mention.

-

“God what the- oh no!” you managed to exclaim as your feet ran laps around your bedroom, “How the fuck do you forget to mention he’s Chris Evans?”

“Calm down” Anne sighed burying her face into the scattered pillows around your bed, “Seriously, that doesn’t change anything, we’re all meeting in a pub, I promise you, it will be fine” she added, giving you a reassuring smile.

“Like I’m not awkward enough around idiots...” you complained again, walking to your friend to zip up your short dark blue dress. “I got this” you said as you felt the material tighten around your body, giving you a well-deserved boost in confidence.

 -

Seated at the round table, you were so absorbed by the conversation that was being held that you failed to realize the two tall boys that approached your booth. Chris’s presence made something inside of you shift; and it wasn’t only the tingly sensation in your stomach at the sight of him, you also felt your walls build up, blocking all the confidence you ever had.

“Hi, (Y/n), right?” he greeted you, extending his arm.

With a shy smile on your lips, you stood up to shake his hand. As if your already existent butterflies didn’t exhaust you enough, his liquid touch managed to send shivers in waves, propagating across your whole body, reaching places you didn’t know could buzz like that. Chris sat down next to you, and after every time you told him something, you mentally scolded yourself for not participating more; for letting the shy side of you take control tonight.

“OK guys, next round, what would you like?” Dan, a friend of yours, raised his voice in order to get your attention as a waiter made his way to your table again.

“Vodka rocks please” you said when it came your turn, and your cheeks couldn’t help but burst into flames when Chris’s head snapped in your direction. That’s what you always had, your always go-to and everyone knew it, but to him it was new, and it certainly didn’t fit the appearance you put on.

The first part of the night flew by smoothly, at least in your opinion. If before Chris arrived you were leaning over the table trying to make a point to one of your friends, now you barely managed to gather enough courage to express your point of view in a completely trivial discussion. Maybe it was the alcohol you had ingested but you were pretty sure Chris’s eyes lingered on your bare shoulders or your lips as you talked, more than once and more than just for a second. All these thoughts, that maybe he found you attractive, maybe he cared what you had to say, everything that roamed through your head made you even more self-conscious, afraid your next action or words would let him down.

“Everybody up, I love this song” Anne commanded jumping to her feet. When you shook your head and explained that you’d rather sit through the first few songs she was quick to object. “Come on!”

“I swear, I’ll be there in 5 minutes” you promised your friend, but you were sure that what made her let you have your way was the fact that her favorite song was approaching its end and she was wasting her time at the table.

After everyone stood up and moved to the dance floor, you realized Chris hadn’t; he was on his phone, making the situation even more awkward than it had to be. You took another long sip of your drink, looking around the carefully decorated rustic pub you were in, before finally turning to him, and taping his forearm.

“Don’t you wanna dance?” you asked

“Yeah I do-” he muttered looking back and forth between you and the screen of his phone, “Just a second”

You tucked your hands under your legs, shamelessly studying his side profile. You could tell his eyebrows were slightly furrowed and the moment one of his hands traveled up to scratch the bridge of his nose, you unconsciously tilted your head to get a better view.

“Aren’t you going?” he chuckled after realizing you’ve been staring, pulling you out of your thoughts; everything about his attitude making your insides turn in embarrassment.

“I was wait- No, I’ll go-” you mumbled, preparing to stand up before his hand flew to your knee to stop you.

“No, actually don’t go, just a second” Chris said, still concentrated on his phone, apparently trying to get rid of the distraction as soon as possible. Your eyes worked their way up from his long fingers that were pressed flush against your skin, to his silver watch, further up his forearm, studying the thick veins that were protruding through his skin, to the halfway rolled up sleeve of the black shirt that wrapped itself so perfectly around his frame. You nodded when he told you to wait for him, but he had already turned his head and now you wondered if you seemed off, but before you managed to over analyze everything, he let go of your leg and tucked his phone in his back pocket.

“I’m so sorry about that” he said leaving his seat and turning, “After you”

You happily followed his actions, stepping beside him, as he placed his hand on your back, bringing you closer as you made your way to your group. After joining the small circle your friends created, you distanced yourself from Chris a little in order to have more room to dance, even if all you were actually doing was swaying and waving your hands around your body. Chris turned out to be as inexperienced as you were, his moves basically consisting of shifting his weight from one leg to the other to the beat of the unfamiliar song that was playing. The atmosphere changed soon enough, as “I got my mind set on you” started echoing through the speakers, bringing a well awaited smile on your lips. As the first lyric repeated itself a few times, you filled yourself with all the good energy of the song, your feet elegantly dancing, as if they had a mind of their own.

“Hey” you heard Chris call softly moments before he grabbed your hand to turn you around. You welcomed him with a giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck, careful to keep a decent amount of space between your bodies.

“Whole lotta spendin’ money” you mouthed the words, as his own hands sneaked behind you to pull you closer.

“You like George Harrison?” Chris asked smugly, remembering what Brian said about your love for old music.

“Isn’t he everyone’s favorite beatle?” you answered, extracting yourself from his hold and doing a childish pirouette before coming back against his chest.

“George Harrison is no one’s favorite Beatle” Chris retorted confused.

“That’s Ringo” you corrected him, “But I have no idea what everyone has against him”

With a shrug of his shoulders signaling his lack of an answer, he sighed heavily, his hot breath reaching your lips, before he spoke again, “Then who’s your favorite?”

“Who do you think?” you played, tilting your head to the side.

“McCartney?” Chris asked hopeful, biting his lower lip as he waited for your answer.

“Nah, Lennon” you chuckled, “Actually no- I don’t even know, I’m not even that big of a Beatles fan”. Your honest answer was as unexpected as it could be and judging by the smirk that made its way across Chris’s lips, you knew he appreciated the way you played it. “Do you like them?”

“They’re alright I guess-” Chris trailed off feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. You smiled kindly taking a step back in order to give him privacy, just in case he needed it. However, you didn’t get to distance yourself too much before he wrapped one of his arms around you from behind, and settled his chin on your shoulder. You were taken aback by his gesture, as from this position you could easily see everything displayed on his screen, but he didn’t seem to care.

“I’m really sorry about this but I wouldn’t answer if I didn't absolutely have to,” Chris explained as his thumb worked its way around the screen. His hot breath hit the bare skin of your neck and shoulder, and you just turned your head, pressing your forehead against his temple; the fire between your legs not allowing you to stay still anymore.

You felt his cheeks gather up a smile under your touch, and you remained like that for a few more seconds as he finished typing. Once he was done, Chris locked his phone and secured his arm around you, turning his head slowly to meet your gaze. You welcomed him with a smile of your own, but in contrast with the sweetness that was plastered on his features, yours held a more fervid kind of feeling. He was the one to close the distance, his strong hold around your frame tightening as his mouth pressed softly against yours. You felt delight bubble inside you under the careful weight of his touch, and you soon felt his tongue trace slowly along your bottom lip, begging. Doing your best not to break the kiss, you turned around in his hold and planted yourself against his chest, this time not waiting for him anymore, diving in directly, going after what was yours. Soon, one of his hands traveled up your spine to grab the back of your head, his actions growing more and more rapturous with every single grunt that escaped his throat.

Judging by the fact that three hours later your dance moves were just as elegant as they were before, you decided to grab one last drink before making your way home. With your arms folded and elbows rested on the bar, you were waiting for an employer to notice you when you felt Chris’s hands on your waist as he placed a quick peck on your cheek before plopping down on the stool to your left. He spread his knees wide apart and pulled you between his legs.

“Vodka, rocks” he said before gesturing with his hand to the waiter to bring two drinks, “How long would you have waited?” he asked, turning his attention back to you. Sarcasm was dripping off his lips, as his lazy eyes didn’t miss any detail of your features.

“It wasn’t my turn yet” you protested

“You know it doesn’t work like that, don’t you?”

“I think it does”

A tight-lipped grin appeared on his features helping his cheekbones stick out ever more under the warm, dim lights of the bar. His boyish charm may have been amplified by the way his chest hair peaked through the open buttons of his shirt, and you were all for it. You pressed your lips to his and he didn’t wait a second to reciprocate your actions, the kiss feeling as natural as if you had known each other for ages.

“Copying me?” you giggled after the bartender brought your drinks, interrupting the two of you.

“Inspired? I’m inspired!” Chris chuckled before taking a sip.

“Drunk, that’s what you are,” you answered, mocking his state, a state you weren’t far from either.

“Nah” he countered, “I’m just feeling good!”. Belting the words he threw his head back, confirming your assumption, and also giving you perfect access to the skin of his neck, which you didn’t hesitate to attack with rough kisses and soft bites. His attitude changed in an instant, becoming a weak mess under you, “Oh god, (Y/n)” you heard him moan into your ear as you worked your magic along his jugular.

Realization hit you suddenly, and remembering you were still in a public place you detached yourself from Chris and grabbed his hand to pull him back to your group.

“Are you seriously doing me like that?” Chris complained following you, fingers intertwined.

“Sorry, I got carried away”

Your night out didn’t last much longer after that, as the tension between you and Chris reached the point where none of you was willing to deny it anymore. After saying your goodbyes, you headed out through the front door and made your way to the main street in search of a cab. Despite having gathered up the courage to go to his place, the whole car ride was perfectly silent as your head quietly rested on his shoulder.

Once inside the apartment, his lips found yours faster than he had found his keys less than 5 seconds before. With your back pressed against the door while Chris sucked mercilessly on the skin of your neck, you managed to get a quick glimpse of the city lights poking through his huge window, setting an even more intoxicating atmosphere than before. You lost yourself under his touch, feeling his hot body wrapped around yours as his hands roamed shamelessly over the thin material of your dress.

Sighing, you pushed him off of you, “Bedroom” you whispered and after giving you a quick nod, Chris dived back in for a kiss, grabbing your waist and guiding you through his dark home and into his room. You sat down on the bed, as he knelt in front of you on the floor, taking your feet into his lap to undo your sandals.

“God” he muttered annoyed, as the strap refused to come undone. Giggling, you leaned forward to take them off yourself, appreciating the gesture and loving his cuteness. After getting rid of your high heels, you grabbed Chris’s collar as you leaned on your back, pulling him on top of you. This time his hands didn’t hesitate as they found their way to your ass in no time.

“You have no idea what you did to me in that dress” Chris grunted against your lips as his fingers dug roughly into your skin. He traveled down your body, peppering kisses down your chest, before resuming his position on his knees on the floor.

“Spread your legs for me” he commanded and you obliged, crawling to the end of the bed, settling your legs on each side of his frame. His hands caressed your thighs passionately, inching closer to your heat causing your breath to fasten. Chris lifted up your dress, and pushed you to lay on your back.

“Oh god” you whimpered, feeling exposed and completely vulnerable. As you leaned your head to the side and closed your eyes, the feeling of Chris’s wet lips centimeters away from your core caused you to buck your hips in surprise as he started paving his way along your thigh with soft kisses.

“You want this?”

“Please” you begged suggestively

“Look at me” he demanded in a new harsh deep tone that sent shivers down your spine. You raised your head and looked down at Chris, who upon making eye contact, tapped your hips twice. You took the hint and propped your feet on the wooden edge of the bed as he circled his fingers around the sides of your underwear, pulling it down your legs in one swift motion.

After settling back into his position, Chris probed your folds with his thumb, smiling, more to himself, pride most likely pumping through his veins at the sight of his effect on you. He finally leaned down, his mouth volunteering to take his fingers spot, as he teased his way to your clit.

“Chris-!” you hissed at the feeling of his wet tongue working carefully on your bundle of nerves.

“Mmm..mm” he hummed lowly against your sensitive spot, the vibrations of his lips adding to your pleasure, “So fucking sweet”. His voice was hurried, as he lifted his head only for a second in order to look at you. His hands came around your thighs, as he released some of his own tension by vehemently slapping and gripping your skin.

With every lap Chris worked on your clit, a painful need inside of you to spill out profanity after profanity only grew bigger, but you managed to control yourself.

“Are you gonna cum for me?” he asked smugly, and before managing to give a decent answer, you felt one of his fingers enter you slowly.

“I- Uh, god” you cried out, arching your back as your left hand flew down so you could curl your fingers around and pull on the elegant collar of his shirt. Feeling every muscle in your body tense as your hips quivered uncontrollably, you secured Chris in his place by bringing your other hand too into his hair. Realizing how on the edge you were, he added another finger, swirling them against your wall, as his lips maintained the same avid pace around your clit. Impossible to tell how much longer it took, but most likely in a matter of seconds your orgasm came thundering down on you, curling your toes as the muscles of your legs trembled furiously. Chris kept going until you let your body fall flush against his bed, when he came up to your level.

Your eyes were closed, still enjoying the last waves of bliss that traveled along your legs as he teasingly caressed your cheeks with his lips and the tip of his nose.

Coming back to your senses, you gripped his neck, wrapping your legs around his middle, pressing him down against you. His mouth slowly met yours, igniting sparkles in your chest as he tugged on your lower lip before allowing your tongue to meet his’.

After pulling away, Chris straightened up at the edge of the bed and started working on undressing himself. The metal clicking of his belt buckle prompted you to suck in a long breath, smiling to yourself at how this man could make you feel so much, as you were already craving more.

You steadied yourself on your knees and crawled over to Chris, turning your back at him and getting your hair out of the way. He didn’t waste a second before getting back to you and pulling down your zipper of your dress, which allowed his hands to roam freely under the thin material. His fingers softly caressed your sides before sneaking to the front and cupping your breasts as his lips found your neck again. He lowered himself forward, pushing you down on the bed on your stomach and climbed on top of you.

Feeling his lips burn icy tracks along your shoulders, you pushed yourself up, flipping the two of you over. You slipped out of your dress fast and straddled his hips, not caring the slightest bit about being in any way seductive; you already had him. Under you, panting in anticipation, long fingers digging mercilessly into the smooth skin of your thighs.

Your lips were again on his’, working slowly, doing your best to tease him and push his buttons. Your hands traced his sides, making their way up his body,

“Yes, fuck” Chris whined. He had managed to take off his dark shirt before you distracted him, so he was now laying on the bed, half naked with his jeans undone, waiting for you.

You slowly lifted yourself off of him and tugged at his pants, pulling them down with a little bit of help from him.

“Tell me Chris” you teased looking up at him, your face inches away from his erect cock, “You want this?”. Following your question, you licked your lips as they fell into a one sided grin.

Squeezing his eyes shut as his head went from side to side, Chris chuckled bitterly at the taste of his own medicine, “Show me what you can do”

You placed one of your hands at the top of his thigh and lowered yourself even more, maintaining the eye contact as you carefully lifted him up. With your fingers wrapped around his cock, your lips barely brushed his base before you made your way lower.

“Fuck- fuck, (Y/n)” Chris hissed, bucking his hips violently at the way you kept pushing him. He brought his hand to the top of your head, his thumb softly caressing your hair as you worked on his balls.

At an agonizingly slow pace, your hand made its way up his length and when you reached his tip, your fingers continued teasing.

“Fu- take me in your mouth, baby” he tried to demand but under your burning stare, his words came out more as a plea, a struggling moan.

You gave him a false approving nod before you licked your way up his dick, wrapped your puckered lips around his end and sucked harshly a few, short times. When his head flew black as he white knuckled the sheets, you took it as your cue to stop.

“Hey Chris” you whispered as you let his cock fall against his stomach and you climbed on top of him.

A weak chuckle escaped his lips as he tried to smile when he realized the way you were going to play this. You leaned down to his level and slipped two fingers into his mouth before gripping his chin tightly and engulfing his lips in a fervid kiss. After caressing their way up and down your thighs, his hands settled on your ass, gripping tightly as he pushed himself up to meet your core.

You lowered yourself to add to his pleasure, your tongues not parting as you started pressing down on his cock.

“Please?” you teased, your hot breath hitting his damp lips.

“You’re not going there” he stated, his dominant side starting to show as his expression darkened.

“No?” you asked guiding one of your hands between your bodies, against his hard abdomen, wrapping your fingers around his dick. You nodded your head ‘no’ as you pumped him slowly, his squinted eyes prompting a smirk to appear on your lips. You had him; no matter what he said, you could go anywhere you wanted, “No, I’m not”

You guided his tip to your folds, slipping around him without any kind of warning. Straightening your back and supporting your weight by gluing your hands to his stomach, your hips started working in circular motions along his cock. You let your head fall forward before you pushed all your hair to one side, in order to be able to look him in the eyes. His body was responding to your actions, as he kept pushing himself up in sync with your movements.

It didn’t take long before you felt your second orgasm approach, and lost in the moment, you didn’t realize Chris took notice of the choked back whimpers that escaped your throat.

“Hey gorgeous” he grunted, his big hands digging holes into your waist, “As much as I love this-” he tried to speak but ended up concentrating all his energy into picking you up and flipping the both of you over, “-this is what I want right now”. He finished his sentence with a harsh whisper in your year from behind, as you struggled to maintain your balance on your elbows under his weight.

You smiled to yourself feeling his wet, hot chest against your naked back, before he rapidly guided himself inside of you.

“Mmh- Chris-” you moaned feeling his hands roam around your body as he maintained his avid pace.

“Taking me so well, hm?” he hummed in your ear. After caressing your cheek clumsily, Chris trailed his hand on the side of your head, his fingers losing themselves in your hair as he tugged back, forming a makeshift ponytail. The forcefulness of his touch caused you to tilt your head, eyes gluing to the ceiling as he grunted in your ear.

“Hell ugh-” you screamed as your body rocked back and forth under his’.

“Who would’ve thought?” he growled, exploring the skin of your neck with his lips as he kept your head back, “The way you act- so sweet and innocent, but then you down vodkas and take my cock like a good little slut”. Chris’s words were carelessly spilling out of his mouth, the pleasure of each thrust giving him more and more trouble forming coherent sentences, “Fuck, (Y/n)-”.

He let go of your hair in order to steady himself, as his movements became sloppier and angrier by the second, “Sh- Chris!-” you yelled gripping the sheets into your fists to keep yourself up, even though one of his arms was wrapped around your abdomen. “I’m so close, fuck, Chris!” you exclaimed again, letting your head fall against your shoulder.

He moved his hand to grip your ass tightly, before detaching it and then sending it to connect forcefully with your butt cheek again, causing a loud slap to accompany both your moans.

It’s all a blur what happened after that; his fingers kept digging into your skin hard as he was enjoying his high, the loud profanities he screamed sending you over the horizon. You soon went limp in his hold, but he didn’t pull out until he placed a loving kiss between your shoulder blades. Your whole body was trembling, from your lower lip to the tip of your toes, but the way he was still inside you as his lips carefully treated your skin, still managed to electrify your mind.

After that your night didn’t last much longer. A fragile amount of comfortable small talk emerged as you both settled under the covers but your mind was somewhere else. You had a lot of fun with him and your heart ached when you thought that this was a only one night stand after all. With your gaze getting lost in the darkness of his room, you found yourself fighting the urge to snuggle into him. As much as you wanted it, as bad of an idea you thought it was. Chris was laying on his stomach with his head in your direction, as you rested on your back. Honestly, you hoped he’d make the first move and pull you closer but he didn’t so you pushed your thoughts away. Or at least you tried. After saying your 'good night’s, much to your surprise, Chris’s hand found yours under the covers as he started to lazily play with your fingers. You smiled to yourself a little even though you knew he couldn’t see it. Your palm was against the sheets as he softly rubbed your thumb with his own. This didn’t help, all it managed to do was make you want to cuddle into his side even more, to rest your head in the crook of his neck and to fall asleep listening to his heart beat. Though none of those things happened, you managed to fall asleep on your own, despite the fact that the few inches of space between your bodies was killing you.

Surprisingly, at one point during the night you woke up. This time you were laying on your side, and it took you a couple of seconds to realise what it was that disrupted your sleep. You turned your head slowly to peak over your shoulder, and you physically felt your soul break. Chris was cuddled into your back, his whole body pressed against yours as his face was tucked into the back of your neck. You didn’t mind it, but the simple fact that his arms were gathered around himself and not around you, made it all clear. He was shivering in his sleep as the night breeze made its way in through the window that somehow was left open, and as you apparently had hogged all the covers, his pair of boxers failed to keep him warm.

“Shit” you muttered to yourself, turning around and doing your best to wrap the blanket around him. Your warm hand connected to his freezing shoulder in a pathetic attempt to warm him up, and instinctively, moments later, Chris wrapped his arms around you, pulling you even closer. You didn’t fight him this time, you just helped him cuddle into your chest before you fell back asleep.

-

Ironically enough, in the morning, you woke up to Chris pulling the blanket higher up your body. You didn’t open your eyes immediately as it took you a moment to come back to reality. Right now, you were facing him but not one inch of your body was touching his. When you finally looked at Chris, he was resting against the headboard, typing away on his phone. You wondered how long he must’ve been awake for but judging by his squinted eyes, you figured that not for too long.

“What time is it?” you finally mumbled

“Shit, I’m sorry I woke you up,” he said. He turned to look at you apologetically, but a smile still made its way to his lips as soon as his eyes landed on your figure, “It’s 10:12”

“Why are you awake?” you asked, not moving a muscle.

“My phone kept ringing, I have no idea how that didn’t wake you up”

You just shrugged your shoulders and crawled a bit closer to him before closing your eyes again.

“You can go back to sleep” he whispered, lowering himself to be at the same level as you.

“No, it’s ok” you protested, bringing your arms over your head to stretch, “I just need a minute”

He settled under the covers mirroring your position. His tired eyes matched his tired smile, and his cheek squished against the pillow made him all the more adorable, “I could make you breakfast, do you want some?”

Your stomach was begging for food, but this wasn’t an offer you expected. The dudes you’ve had hook ups with like this one, usually woke up horny and then that was it.

“Oh, yees, thank you”

“I could make you pancakes, like they do in movies” he offered chuckling in his groggy morning voice.

“Pancakes…” you repeated content, mouth starting to water at the thought.

“You can sleep some more while I make them,” he suggested.

“No” you argued, rolling into your back, “I’m coming with you, the girl makes breakfast in movies”

Chris raised himself up, prompting his weight on his elbow as he hovered over you with a bitter smirk on his lips, “The girl usually leaves before the boy wakes up”

His words stung a bit, “Are you trying to kick me out?”

“God, no!” he exclaimed, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer. Finally something. “That’s just what usually happens”. He was weirdly right, that was what you did most of the time too, but apparently not today.

“I guess” you agreed, looking into his big brown eyes. Before allowing the situation to slip into a direction you weren’t too fond of, you stood up on the bed, “Can you give me a shirt, please?”

“Of course” he said in an instant, jumping up from the bed and running to his closet. “This one ok?” he asked, showing you a navy blue one with long sleeves.

“Yeah” you smiled, extending your arm to grab it.

“Or this one?” he suggested again, this time a black t-shirt in his hands.

“Chris, give me the black one” you laughed before he had the opportunity to offer you another one to choose from.

You hurried to pull it over your head as he put on some gray sweatpants, and then you both left for the kitchen.

“Is this the bathroom?” you asked, pointing to a door right next to the one just came from.

“Yeah, but no” he laughed grabbing your shoulders and turning you in a different direction, “Go to that one” he gestured towards another door on the opposite side of the hallway, “This one is messy”

You wanted to protest for a second, as you were curious and maybe you wanted to snoop a little, but eventually nodded and went where he told you.

-

“Do you have Nutella or some kind of chocolate?” you asked, eyeing the pancakes.

“Um, no..” he mumbled, “But I can go grab some”

“What? No!”

“It’s just around the corner, I’ll be back in like 5 minutes”

“I was just asking” you giggled, grabbing his wrist, pulling him towards the table.

“It would take me-”

“Chris, no” you laughed, this time your tone was more serious.

He eventually caved, and you sat down to eat. The conversation picked up instantly and not for one second did it feel forced or uncomfortable. The awkwardness of getting too close to him disappeared immediately, as when you were halfway done, he pulled you into his lap, to demonstrate how a proper pancake should be eaten. Maple syrup and strawberry jam got everywhere but it wasn’t like any of you cared. Unlike last night, his lips were now sweet, kinda sticky even but it was perfect.

-

“So, like, last night you came with Anne, right? How do you know her?” he asked as he struggled to pour some more syrup  on his pancakes with his left hand, as his right arm was locked around your hips.

“She’s my best friend” you answered smiling, “We actually met at the gym a few years ago”, you paused to shake your head, “God, I hate gyms”

“Why?” he asked curious

“I’m an embarrassment, I’d much rather work out at home”

“Oh god” he laughed dropping his pancake and throwing his head back, “I can make you feel better about that if you want to”

“Sure.. go ahead” you hesitated, afraid of what might come out of his mouth

“So like I was at the gym a few days ago, and there was this lady lifting some weights that, by the way, looked way too heavy for her but who am I to judge. Anyway so as she’s squatting, you know, when she tries to straighten her legs and go back up, this loud fart comes out, and I swear to god it echoed through the whole room-”

“Oh god, no!” you exclaimed, covering your eyes with your palms, “I feel so sorry for her”

“That’s not even the best part” he laughed tapping your tight to get your attention.

“We’re eating Chris, please tell me she didn’t-”

“She didn’t don’t worry” he chuckled, “So like after it comes out, she starts rummaging like crazy through her stuff, pulls out her phone and goes - I’m sorry I didn’t answer faster, it was on vibrate-”

“I’m so embarrassed for her” you whined

“Yeah, like a part of me wanted to reassure her that it’s ok but I’m sure that would’ve made everything worse” he said laughing.

“Definitely”

“And like she left for the locker room but when she came back she was still pretending to be on the phone and headed straight to the door and didn’t look back”

“I can’t” you managed to say between your giggles

“Now I’m so afraid I’ll fart in the middle of the gym” he confessed

With your pancake still in your hand, you felt your eyes start to water, trying to picture him all flustered and embarrassed and you couldn’t help but laugh even louder.

“It’s ok, you won’t” you tried to reassure him, but he was just as amused as you were

“I hope” he sighed

After you were done eating, and then done arguing about Chris not allowing you to help him clean up the mess, it was time for you to leave.

“Do you want me to drive you?” he asked, most likely sure you were going to agree, so probably that’s why his face fell when you declined.

“No, it’s ok, but have you seen my jacket?”

“You didn’t have one”

“Yes, I did, a long maroon one” you explained thinking about where you could’ve left it.

“Trust me, I know what you were wearing last night” he said smirking

“Then I must have left it at the bar, I hope someone saw it and took it”

“Wait, let me give you something to wear” he said, sprinting to his bedroom. You waited patiently for him in the hallway, realizing that this meant you had to see each other again. But you had mutual friends, someone could give it back to him for you, right? This was usually the time you blew the guy off, but this time, something inside of you simply didn’t let you.

“What about this one?” he asks, handing you an army green hoodie.

“It’s perfect, thank you”

“I don’t have your number, and I kinda want it back,” he joked, pointing to the jacket.

“Give me your phone” you laughed, and after he gave it to you, you added the number quickly and handed it back to him.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you, I feel bad for letting you walk home”

“No, it’s ok, it’s not that far, I’m gonna cut through the park and listen to music, it’s ok” you reassured him, stepping away from the door so he could unlock it.

Once you passed the threshold, you turned around wanting to kiss him one last time, but the moment his hands caught your waist, the teasing side of you awakened, so you just placed a long peck to his cheek.

“Bye” he laughed at your antics, before closing the door after you.

As you were walking home, you wrapped your arms around yourself, causing the smell of his hoodie to reach your nose. You were happy he didn’t give you a clean one, this one smelled like him, and maybe he chose this one on purpose. Your mind drifted back to the events of the last 15 hours and unconsciously, they put a smile on your lips. You had so much fun with Chris, and grew so fond of his sweetness, that you almost felt bad for giving him the number of your 50 year old laundromat lady.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑨𝒃����𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕 (𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒊 𝑺𝒂𝒏) 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅

𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒊 𝑺𝒂𝒏 (𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛)× 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 (𝑭𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆)

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: 𝑺𝒎𝒖𝒕, 𝑭𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇, 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕, 𝑫𝒂𝒅 𝑨𝑼

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 3K+

𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕-𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒖𝒎 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚, 𝑺𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓.

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒐𝒓𝒂𝒍 (𝒇𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈), 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚, 𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌, 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌, 𝒖𝒏𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒙 (𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏)

𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers @multidreams-and-desires @yunhoiseyecandy

𝑪𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂 𝒃𝒚 @vocalyunho 's diamond anon.

ღ¸.✻´`✻.¸¸ღღ¸.✻´`✻.¸¸ღღ¸.✻´`✻.¸¸ღღ¸.✻´`✻.¸¸ღ

San let out a small cooing sound as he watched the baby in his arms gobble down the milk in his bottle at an increasingly fast speed. Gently, he pulled the bottle away to give the infant time to swallow what he had without having any sort of accidents occur. The baby, not appreciating having his dinner taken away from him, let out a displeased squeal, fist raising up in the air while his legs began to kick out in frustration. Chuckling softly, San adjusted him so he wouldn't accidentally drop him or the bottle, the latter which would probably conclude in the child throwing a full blown tantrum.

"There there. I know you're a little glutton, but I can't let you drink all the milk in one go. I'm still traumatized from the time it all went to your lungs."

Whimpering softly, the boy's fist relaxed and began to clasp and unclasp itself as it tried to reach for the bottle. With a small pout forming on his face, San gave in and once again placed the rubber sucker near his son's mouth, which immediately opened and began gurgling down the lactose contents in the bottle. Withing seconds, the baby finished his meal. Holding him up, San began to pat him on the back, a satisfied smile on his face when his son emitted the faintest burp out of his throat.

"Ok, you're fed, your diaper was changed 15 minutes ago, am I missing something?"

The baby remained quiet as usual, unable to yet respond to his father's inquiry.

"I'll take that as a no then."

Kissing the top of his head and nuzzling his nose against the baby's, San moved over to where the crib was, ready to put the baby inside it so he could sleep. He carefully layed him down and pulled the blue Eeyore blanket Yeosang had gotten for him. Grabbing one of the tiny stuffed plushies, San tucked it under the baby's arm.

"Now you have a sleeping buddy."

Looking at the plush with a grimace, the baby threw the plush rather hard, hitting San on the side of his face.

"Damn son. A simple I don't like it would have sufficed."

He looked around, searching for something that he would like, but unlike himself who adored any plushie, his son was rather picky about his sleeping companions. As he was bending down to look in the treasure chest containing all his toys, he immediately shot up when he heard the baby let out a tiny shriek, nearly tripping on himself as he went to inspect what was the problem. San blinked slowly as the baby currently had his arms latched around Byeol's neck, rubbing his cheek on the top of her furry head, mouth opening up in a squealing giggle when her ears tickled along his nose. The siamese seemed completely unbothered by this, her eyes closing as her paw rested on the infant's tummy, a soft and low purr barely audible unless one payed close attention. Scratching under her chin, San smiled down at the heart fluttering image.

"Thank you for taking over babygirl."

After she let out a tiny meow, San now made his way out of the nursery to go into the adjoining room next to it, making sure to leave the door cracked open a little in case anything happened. He made so little noise as he entered the bedroom that his wife didn't even notice him as she stared at her reflection in the mirror, her hands poking around her belly area, a dissatisfied look on her face. San breathed out a disheartened sigh through his nose as he knew very well what was probably going through her mind. Slowly he came up behind her, startling her when he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hey beautiful." He greeted her with a kiss to her temple, a light giggle coming out from him.

Forcing a small smile onto her face, she gently moved his hands away from where they were, looking down embarrassingly.

"Let's go to sleep."

Saying those 4 words, Y/N crossed her arms protectively across her chest. Getting into the bed, she layed on her side, facing away from San yet again as she had been doing the past few days. Laying next to her, he scooted his body closer to hers. When she tried to shrink away from his touch, he merely pulled her against him, fingers brushing some of her fallen hair out of her shoulder. His lips began to pepper tiny butterfly kisses across her bare skin, starting from the top of her shoulder and working his way to her neck. Y/N shifted slightly, all those months of not being touched like that since she got pregnant and after having the baby suddenly made her aware how needy she was, how much she craved for San to touch her, hold her, fill her up once again.

But when he moved his hand back towards her stomach, she felt self conscious and pulled away from him.

"San .....please don't." She pleaded at him, her eyes already brimming with tears.

Shocked by her refusal, San sat up.

"Darling what's wrong? Please tell me." He asked her.

Y/N let out a tiny huff.

"Just forget about it....it's stupid anyways."

Frowning slightly, San reached a hand out to stroke his wife's cheek. His stroke was extremely delicate, as if he was caressing a fragile and valuable vessel that could break at any moment. In a way, that's what Y/N was to him.

"Is it cause you don't love your body? Are you self conscious after having the baby?"

Whipping her head around, she wiped some of the fallen tears off her eyes.

"How did you..?"

"I'm not dumb or oblivious Y/N. I see the way you look at yourself in the mirror sometimes." He answered her.

Feeling even worse, Y/N sank back down on the bed, lip quivering in an attempt to stop herself from crying.

"I'm fat and ugly aren't I?"

Hearing her talk about herself with such disdainful comments broke San's heart. Moving himself so he was hovering above her body, he cupped both of her cheeks and looked her straight in the eye.

"You're not fat and you're certainly not ugly. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life and will ever see. And I'm sorry that I failed in not letting you believe that..."

Stooping his face down, he captured her lips in a yearning kiss that had both of their hearts fluttering like the first time they had ever kissed each other. San did not pull away for a long time and when he did, it was only to peck her lips a couple times as he pressed his forehead against hers.

"So let me do that right now."

As he began to kiss along her jawline, Y/N tilted her head back and ran her fingers through his hair.

"San-Sannie? Could you please turn off the light though?" She hesitantly asked.

Letting out a smug laugh, San pushed himself up so he could pull the blankets off their bodies.

"Sorry darling. Tonight I want to see all of you with no covers and in full light. Let me see your entire beauty."

San's hands worked quickly to remove all the articles of clothing that covered Y/N's body. Once her panties were discarded onto the pile on the floor, he looked back at his wife and took in the sight of her naked. Harshly sucking in a breath, he bit down on his lower lip and released a low moan.

"Fuck it's been way too long. Far too long if you ask me."

Tilting her head to allow him easier access, Y/N was already melting from San's kisses across her neck. His hands were already groping down on her breasts, feeling squishier and more tender due to all the milk they had been producing since pregnancy. As soon as his thumbs began tweaking at her nipples, she arched her back and stifled back a whimper, but San's ears still caught it.

"They're really sensitive aren't they love?" His eyes looked up at her as his tongue teasingly swiped across one of her sensitive buds.

Y/N's head nodded in a needy way. Her hands cupped San's chin to press his face against her chest, her swollen breast nearly smothering him. Letting out a heavy groan, San squished her boobs together, watching them jiggle against each other. He'd release them to watch as they bounced against her body before picking them up again.

"Fucking hell, they got so damn huge." He licked his lips.

Taking hold of his hands, Y/N guided his movements so he could massage them as she wanted him to. As Y/N looked up at her husband, she felt shy about what she was about for ask him to do. Seeing her bite down on her lip, San knew there was something on her mind. Bending over to kiss along the sides of her neck, his warm breath ghosted near her ear.

"Tell me what you want babygirl, I want to fulfill your desires." His voice lowered significantly, making her pool even more in between her thighs.

"Sannie...please suck my tits."

Pulling back, he looked at her with a worried expression, no doubt wondering if it would be ok. Pecking his lips, she began to calm his worries.

"It'll be fine, just please, wanna feel your mouth around them."

Not needing any further coercion, San dipped his face and buried his face in her breasts. First paying attention to one, he began kissing it as the other hands fondled the other one. Slowly he opened his mouth and latched it down onto her nipple, giving it an experimental suckle before going any further. Noticing the way she inhaled deeply and pushed her chest more outwards, he then took more of her of in his mouth. Relaxing his jaw, he continued a pattern of flicking and swiping his tongue around her areolas before gripping in his palms and fingertips as sucking sounds come out of his mouth. Soon enough, he felt a thin, watery liquid start to come out of her. Y/N couldn't help but giggle as her husband moaned out an 'oh my god' before his mouth began pumping more of her breast milk out of her body. His oral ministrations on her nipple became more languidly as he was savoring the sweet fluid that he gulped down his throat. Not just San, Y/N's breathing became more ragged and she felt more aroused than she wanted to admit.

"Sannie, don't forget to pay attention to the other one." She reminded as she petted his hair.

Switching over to the other side, this time the latching of his lips was more sloppy and his suckling more desperate. It seemed he couldn't get enough of her milk. Muffled grunts and moans could be heard whenever he gave a particular long suck at her skin. He never imagined that feeding on Y/N's lactating milk could turn him on so much. Releasing her nipple with a loud popping sound, he panted as some of the white liquid trickled down his chin.

"Now I understand why our son is always hungry."

They both couldn't help but laugh softly at his cute little joke. Even as he began peppering kisses down her sternum to her stomach, he was still a giggling mess. Once he got to her lower abdomen, he took his time to trace each and every stretch mark that adorned it. Although he knew she hated them, he thought they were remarkably beautiful, even more so since he knew how she got them. He made sure to kiss all around that part of her body with tenderness and adoration.

"I don't know why you hide them. They're gorgeous...."

Pausing, he looked back up at her, a light twinkle in his eyes as he smiled fondly to her.

"You're gorgeous. Absolutely stunning."

Blushing intensely, Y/N couldn't help but hide her face with her hands

"Really?" She piped out.

Stooping down once again, San dragged his mouth along her hips bones.

"Yes. Even more so now. I still can't believe that you actually carried our son in here, I'm still amazed you did. And these scars..."

Tracing along the lines, he couldn't keep the stupid grin off his face.

"Are a reminder that you did. And everytime I see them, I'll remember all those months of waiting and taking care of you until you gave me the greatest present you could give me. Thank you love."

Feeling overcome with emotions, Y/N couldn't help but let tears fall down her cheeks at her husband's words. Not yet finished with his praises, San now began kissing up her inner thighs, teeth grazing along the most sensitive parts of her skin.

"You have no idea how crazy I am about you. Even after all this time, I still want you like the first day I saw you. Hell I think I desire you even more now than back then love. I go insane every time I look at you. I can't believe you're all mine."

Pushing her legs up, his hands firmly gripped the back of her thighs as his face began to dive into her glistening cavern.

"All mine."

Y/N couldn't keep her body from jolting up when San's tongue licked up her folds. Every swipe of his tongue along her slit had her toes curling. She couldn't remember the last time he had eaten her out this way. She couldn't help but buck her hips up against his face whenever his mouth opened and closed over her clit, the humming sounds he was making sending waves of shock up her body. San didn't mind at all when her fingers began to harshly tug at his hair, it only made him smile in satisfaction against her mound. By the way her thighs were trying to close around his head, he knew she was definitely enjoying herself. The lewd whimpering she was releasing was further indication that she was about to spill herself onto him at any moment and although San would have loved nothing more than to have her cum all over his face, he really preferred something else right now.

With great effort, he detached his mouth from her core, chuckling in a teasing manner when Y/N's mouth dropped open, looking somewhat pissed by the fact he denied her the much anticipated orgasm she hadn't felt in a long time. Pulling his shirt over his head, San licked his lips and winked at the woman underneath him, whose eyes sprang up when he rid himself of his bottoms and his erect cock sprang free.

"Missed this darling?"

He teased her as he ran the head along her folds, coating it with her slick to act as extra lubrication for them. Propping herself up on her elbows to get a better view of him pushing inside her, both of them spewed out hisses and small mutters when his member was fully sheathed inside her walls.

"Ok hold on....give me a second....fuck! It's been way too long."

Y/N could only let out a groan in agreement to his words. Once they both settled down, San began a rather tame and mellow pace, pulling out completely before stuffing himself back inside her. Her legs were already trembling everytime he pushed back in, his tip rubbing against her g-spot due to the way he angled his hips upwards. His fingers were harshly digging into her thighs, surely about to leave tiny purple marks on the days to come. Y/N's hands reached upwards to grip on San's forearms as she looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Sannie...please... faster."

Halting his movements briefly, San took hold of her legs and wrapped them around his waist, a sinister smile on his face.

"Don't say you didn't ask for it."

Her breath got caught in her throat when he began slamming his hips against hers, back arching and breasts bouncing with every thrust he was making. San felt like he was in heaven once more, feeling his lover clench around his length as the two became connected as one yet again. He missed the euphoric feeling of both giving and receiving such an overwhelming pleasure. He couldn't contain the heavy panting coming out of his mouth although he tried to keep his voice down so as to not wake up the baby sleeping in the next room. Thumb reaching down, he began to circle it around Y/N's pink nub, making her flinch and tremble at the added sensation.

"San! I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that!" She warned him.

"Oh? Yeah? Gonna cum all over my cock? Make a mess all over me?"

Throwing her head back into the pillow, Y/N shut her eyes tightly, mouth struggling to stifle back whimpered shrieks as San hit harder and deeper in her.

"San- don't t-tease me.." She said through tear stained eyes.

"Trust me I'm not love. Just wanna make you feel good, have you cum all over me and then spill my load into you."

Growling softly, he placed his hand on top of her stomach, gently caressing it with his fingers as he looked down at his partner.

"Gonna cum inside you once more love. Gonna fill this pussy up with my seed and get you knocked up again. Would you like that?"

"Oh my-" Y/N clutched at the sheets underneath her, feeling herself on the brink of toppling over the edge due to his dirty talk.

"Yeah you want that? I'll make sure you're pregnant again. Looking all pretty and cute with a swollen belly once again. Carrying another child of mine. Fuck!"

Unable to hold back anymore, San frantically plunged himself deeper in her walls quickly sending them both over the edge at the same time. Y/N's legs quivered and her body shook uncontrollably as the long forgotten feeling of a high took over her completely. San couldn't help but chant out a series of 'oh my gods' as his hips sputtered and he coated her pussy with his cum that gushed out and filled her to the brim, some of it spurting out as he continued to move inside her, helping them both ride out their orgasms.

Movements getting slower until stopping completely, San leaned down to kiss Y/N once again, fervently and passionately.

"I love you so much." He declared, a wide smile sprawling across his handsome face.

"I know....I love you too San."

San kissed her forehead before rolling over and pulling her on top of him.

"You're absolutely perfect darling. Don't ever forget that." He complimented her.

Although she felt embarrased and shy at his words, she played it off with a light scoff and roll of her eyes.

"Are you just saying that so that I'll agree to another round?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I mean...... I'm not saying no...and we do have all night." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"He might wake up at any moment now." She nudged her head towards the direction of the nursery.

"Oh don't worry about him, Byeol's taking over night shift tonight."

Y/N let out a squeak when San sat up and positioned her on top of his cock before sliding her down on it.

"And I'm not done with making love to the most beautiful woman in the world."

ღ¸.✻´`✻.¸¸ღღ¸.✻´`✻.¸¸ღღ¸.✻´`✻.¸¸ღღ¸.✻´`✻.¸¸ღ

[yeahimaloser]

Stuck In An Elavator With You

Shy!Hawks x Reader

Hi, so this story is about a headcanon I have about Hawks secretly being shy around his crush! 

I don’t usually make x readers were the reader has a backstory/background, but I liked this backstory for the reader so I hope you enjoy!!

. . . 

Keigo tapped his foot anxiously on the ground, heart thumping and practically racing.

He had a good reason to be this riled up, he really did.

For whatever reason, Keigo Takami, also known as Pro Hero Hawks, had a particular repetition of being a flirtatious man, always seeking a new companion. He, nor his agency, knew where these rumors came from, but his press advisors told him that; “People will eat this up!” “This’ll be good for business!” And although he did nothing to refute those claims, they weren’t exactly true.

The truth was, his love life was practically nonexistent, he hadn’t really dated anyone before (not seriously anyway), so when he began to develop feelings for a certain someone, he was surprised, to say the least.

But, he didn’t get flustered around just anyone, he was a hero, a spy, he knew how to keep a clear head. The only person he would ever get flustered around was you.

You would think that pro hero Hawks would have some natural charm to him, but no, he becomes a mess around you. He felt pathetic if he was being honest.

You worked at the HPSC, which were his bosses, the people who helped to train him to be their personal hero, so of course, he got well acquitted with you. Whenever he entered the building he would usually be greeted by you, smiling at him, making conversation of any kind.

He liked how easy he found talking to you, he loved it really, the way you didn’t mind his bluntness, the way you would laugh at his crummy jokes, it made his day easier, it made going into the HPSC building feel more bearable.

He had known you for about a year, talking to you when you came to drop off documents, when he came in you always made sure to greet him with his favorite canned coffee in hand.

He didn’t remember when he got like this when he started to get flustered by you all the time, when he talked his words would come out all jumbled up when he talked to you, his face becoming red whenever you so much as touched his elbow. But, he still loved seeing each time he had to come in, it practically made his week each time.

Of course, luckily, he always had an excuse in hand. That he had stuttered out of exhaustion, that he blushed when you taped his shoulder because that’s where a villain had hit him.

Yet today, he didn’t see you. And he had been prepared too, washing down his nerves and trying to make himself the calm, confident, pro hero people loved, he knew he could swoon you if he acted as the charismatic hero he was. But you weren’t there, and he didn’t like it.

So, he patiently waited for the elevator to bring him up to the higher-ups, looking around the building's main corridor, expecting you to turn the corner any moment, and to smile at him, making his wings sputter and his mind race.

He bounced his leg up and down, seemingly unable to stand still at all when he felt a small tap on his arm.

He was prepared to turn around to offer an autograph, but the words stuck to his throat.

Oh.

Whatever nerves he had thought he had taken care of re-surfaced, making his mind bubble and his tongue feel numb in his throat.

You were right there, only a few inches from him, smiling, your presence alone throwing him off guard.

“Jeez, you really can’t sit still can you,” you said in a teasing tone. “I suppose I should expect that from the man that always moves fast, huh.”

Keigo didn’t know if he would call you a friend, although he did have feelings for you, he knew they were most likely one-sided. So, he just called a work friend (although he desperately wished you two were more). 

Of course, that's when his mouth decided not to work, “O-oh, hi there Y/N, you look- how are- did you,” he mentally cursed himself, wanting desperately to have a disappearing quirk right about now. 

But luckily, before you could even say anything, the elevator dinged loudly, the people on board quickly got off, seemingly in a rush to get out.

He made his way in, letting you go first like a gentleman, yet, he managed to trip when he entered, looking like a fool. 

Yet, to his surprise, you just giggled, “I suppose even top-ranked heroes lose their balance.”

Keigo nodded, looking anywhere but you in order to get his red face under control.

“I’m guessing you're on your way to the top? To the higher-ups?”

This time, he had collected himself enough to look at you and smile, “Yup, that's the one.”

He gave himself a little pat on the back for not screwing that up. 

You pushed the button to the top floor, giving him a small smile in return.

The elevator was extremely pristine, the carpeting was soft, the walls of the elevator were lined with some sort of expensive metal. Paintings hug down, making the elevator have that rich sort of feel.

He anxiously looked around, desperately trying to find the courage to speak, but none came to him.

Luckily though, you spoke first, “I saw you on TV the other day, beating up that nomu must have been tough. You gotta work with Endeavor though! And I know he’s your favorite.”

His ears turned pink, did you really remember that from that throwaway conversation you two had about heroes?

It had been about a few weeks ago, maybe three he really couldn’t remember, but he did know he still got extremely flustered around you at that time. 

He was waiting in the lobby that most had to sit in to meet with the higher-ups, he had gotten a coffee, waiting patiently when you sat down next to him.

You made a bit of small talk, him listening closely, chiming in so you wouldn’t lose interest in him, yet not being able to find his voice all that well.

It had started when you commented on Gang Orca coming in for a visit, you told him how cool you thought he was, with his different kind of hero aesthetic, saying how, “You don’t really see a lot of scary-looking good guys, but I met him, he’s actually pretty polite.”

He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t help but get jealous. He wished you would say how cool his quirk was, or how you thought he was ‘pretty polite,’ he just wished he could have the guts to say something, anything flirtatious to you to show you how interested he was in you.

It bugged him, who many heroes you probably knew. He wasn’t a special case, he knew that.

You weren’t at all in the high up of the HPSC, you barely knew anything about what was going on in the commission. You were just someone who ran the errands of the HPSC, giving paperwork to heroes and police, it was probably a very taxing job.

But Keigo liked to believe you two had a special bond, maybe....maybe you even felt the same way he felt about you.

“How about you, Bird Boy? Got a favorite hero,” you asked, a lightly teasing tone in your voice.

He wanted to refute you, saying something quippy like he normally would. But the way your eyes shone with genuine curiosity, the way your face was limited by the light of the lobby you both waited in. Even if you were just in your normal, everyday state, you still made him flush with nothing but a glance.

He managed to sputter out, “Endeavor, I’ve liked him since I was a kid.”

You grimace, “I don’t like him all that much, he's very rude and mean when he comes in or I drop something off for him. He's not like you, you're nice and easy to talk to, he always seems to have a problem with anyone he sees as unworthy.” 

You rolled your eyes at the memory of the flame hero, but you didn’t notice how his hands had griped around his coffee can. 

You thought he was nice and easy to talk to. He wanted to echo the sentiment, he wanted to say that he loved talking to you and maybe, if he had the strength, segway into asking you out for coffee at a real cafe.

Of course, that's when he was called into his meeting.

 He smiled fondly at the memory, and how it was so cute of you to remember. 

“Yeah, I can't believe you remembered,” not being able to keep the light edgy of nervousness out of his voice.

You nodded, “Well yeah,” you leaned carefully against the railing of the elevator, picking at your nails, “I like talking to you, Hawks, you're a good guy. You come in and actually treat me like a decent person, you wouldn’t believe how many heroes get such big heads, thinking that the person dropping off their paperwork is, well I don’t really know how to describe it really,” you paused for a moment, “they think that I’m not worth their time I guess, it's kinda gross if I’m being honest.”

Hawks frowned, “That's not fair, I’m sorry. That's really rude of them, they should treat you better than that.”

You looked up at him, and his breath caught in his throat, “See? You’re so nice to me, even if you don’t have to, I enjoy talking to you Hawks, thank you.”

You neared him, his body stiffened as you did so, “I was actually wondering if you would maybe wanna grab something to-”

A loud thud and an ear-piercing scratch cut you off, the elevator floor jiggled and slowed, the fast pace stopping and becoming slower and slower.

But the elevator gave a strong jolt, and before Hawks could even think, his hero instincts kicked in.

He grabbed you, pulling you against him, his wings (or what was left of them) wrapped protectively around you and him. 

He pulled you down to the floor with him, wings blocking out the lights flickering above you two, his body taught and waiting.

After the elevator had come to a complete stop, his brain had caught up to the realization of the piston he was in.

He quickly leaped away from you, moving off the floor.

“I-I’m so sorry! It-it’s just, the elevator made my hero instinct act up! A-are you ok,” he reached a hand out to you, watching you breathlessly panting.

“Y-yeah I’m ok. What happened? A villain attack,” before he could answer, he heard the intercom speak before he could.

The robotic voice spoke, “Please stay calm, we are experiencing technical difficulties, please stay inside the elevator as we are sending help. Thank you for your patients.”

His body stiffened. Trapped, in an elevator, with you. He didn’t know if this was his worst nightmare or a dream come true.

You sighed, “Damn, seriously? Stuck in an elevator was not how I wanted my day to go.”

He gave a nod, trying desperately to calm his nerves.

He could do this, he had the chance to flirt and ask you out, this was a blessing in disguise, he knew it. All he had to do was get his act together, calm himself and make a few flirtatious remarks, and not get flustered.

But he couldn’t, his heart was beating out of his chest. He wondered for a brief moment if you could hear it in the silence of the elevator, the music had stopped, casting a silence around the small space.

“So, I guess we’re gonna be here for a while,” you shivered, “why is it so cold in here?”

It was as if his body thought before his mind did. He shed his jacket, walking it over to you, placing it on your shoulders lightly, “U-uh, h-here, don’t wanna catch a cold.”

You looked at him, eyes wide, “Oh, I can’t take this, what about you? Aren't you cold? I can’t let you give this to me.”

He held out his hands, shaking his head, “No, just take it, I insist, really.”

You hesitated for a moment before nodding, looking around you said, “I guess we better get comfortable.”

You slid down the wall of the elevator, sitting against the wall as you lay your legs on the red carpeting of the elevator.

He mimicked your actions, flowing you down on the opposite wall.

His nerves picked up again, suddenly at a loss for words. He had had plenty of conversations with you, yes, but his feelings for you had gotten worse and worse over the months. At this point, he became tongue-tied just by looking at you, worrying he would say the wrong thing and making you hate him.

Luckily, you broke the silence, “I wonder why this happened, maybe a mantis issue? Hang on, maybe my phone works,” you reached for your pocket, pulling it out and giving it a few clicks as your brow furrowed and you sighed.

“I just got a text from my boss, he said help is on their way. He says he doesn't know how long we’ll be here, could be 10 minutes for could be a few hours.”

He hoped you thought the gulp that he had done was out of anxiety of getting stuck, but in reality, it was one of worry about you being in an elevator with him. 

He didn’t say anything, nerves pulsing through him. Although he desperately tried to come up with something to say, something that would make you blush instead of him, nothing came to mind.

He mentally cursed himself. This was the perfect opportunity to be the dashing hero that everyone adored, to show you that he could protect you and calm your nerves. He desperately tried to think of anything to say, but his mind was muddled with the thought of sounding ridiculous.

What if he sputtered over his words? What if he said something to make you uncomfortable? What if you hated him?

Those thoughts caused him to tense up, the air feeling heavy around him. 

“You know,” his head snapped up, looking back at you, “I think there wouldn’t be a better person to be stuck in an elevator in!”

He gulped, his nerves shot firing, his throat constricted to where he couldn’t even say anything in response.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” you said, flashing him a light smile, “I wanted to thank you, that nomu attack almost hit this place, I’m sure if you weren’t there, we would all be in big trouble. But what can I expect from the number 2 hero.”

Keigo continued to look down at the floor, refusing to open his mouth as he was sure he would say something to ruin this moment.

You just kept complimenting him and he really didn’t know what to say back, or if he could say anything at all.

He could feel his face heating up every second, his hands becoming more and more clammy against his pant leg. 

He didn’t know if he wanted you to stop or continue.

You soon noticed the silence, confused and worried etched onto your features.

Slowly, you made your way over to him.

“Hawks,” you said lightly, “are you feeling ok? Your face is really red.”

You reached out, almost stroking his cheek, and before he could even think, he snatched your hand away.

“I’m fine!”

You backed up, feeling pain shoot through your heart.

He cursed himself. Why would he do that! He was an idiot, he was just so worried you would see him flustered and well…

 The air around you two became thick with tension.

Keigo felt as if it was difficult getting air into his lungs, he felt like he could barely move.

Slowly, he could feel the air around you two become more and more uncomfortable, and all Keigo wanted to do was roll in on himself.

Of course, you felt it too. 

You knew something was off about him, he had been acting strangely around you the last few months. 

When you had first met Hawks, his charismatic and charming nature made you gush over him immediately. The confidence that oozed from him was so compelling, you were mesmerized by him.

But know? With the way, he had been acting recently? You worried if he was mad, or maybe even hateful towards you. You had grown anxious of that very thought, wondering if you had said or did something that he disliked.

When you two first met, he had easy, flowing conversations with you. But now, he was like a sputtering child. Shy and quiet, slinking away from you, even scared of you it seemed.

You sighed, feeling even colder although Hawks had given you his jacket.

Finally, as if your heart and body couldn’t take it anymore, you spoke, breaking the suffocating silence, “Is something wrong? You keep acting so weird around me.”

His head shot up, looking you over, his mouth sputtering words that didn’t fit together. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes had grown wide, his hands frantically moved, but you cut off his actions.

“We used to have such nice and casual conversations. But lately, it's as if you hate them as if you don’t wanna talk to me. Did I do something wrong? If I did, can you tell me? I promise I’ll stop doing whatever it is!”

This time, he was surprised to find his words coming easily to him, “No! You didn’t do anything at all, I promise! I love talking to you, I love walking into the building and seeing your face, watching you talk is....mesmerizing,” you watched him with wide eyes, and a part of him wished he could stop talking then and there.

But he continued.

“A-and you're so cute with the way your eyes sparkle in the sunlight, and you always make my week whenever you come in, I always make sure to be in the office when you're around because I know you’ll come and talk to me. I love seeing your smile when you see me, the way your face brightens up. I don’t hate you, I…”

The words stuck to his throat, but he was unable to get them out.

Your face was twisted into one of shock, still staring at him you said, “You really think all that stuff about me? You really get excited when I come into your office?”

He nodded, looking anywhere but your eyes scared he would confess more to you if he did.

You neared him, hesitant at first, scared he would lash out at you again. Nevertheless, you persisted.

“Hawks,” he could feel your warm breath near him, making him tense, “do you...do you like me?”

It was an embarrassingly childlike thing to say, almost as if you were to children admitting crushes to each other. 

Yet, you couldn’t find the best way to fraze it.

With the way Hawks’ body froze over, the redness of his face spreading to every part of his ears and down his neck, you were fairly sure you were correct.

Yet, you waited for a moment for him to confirm or deny.

“Y-yeah, I’m s-sorry.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, which made Hawks lookup with fearful eyes.

“Oh! I wish you would have told me sooner! Hawks,” you looked back to him, “I like you too stupid!”

If you thought his face couldn’t become redder, you were sorely mistaken. His whole body stiffened, eyes widening, he gaped at you.

“R-r-really?”

“Yes,” you giggled, “for the longest time, too. I believe I’ve liked you since the first time we’ve met. I kept wanting to ask you out, but I guess I was just worried about how you would react, but this whole time you’ve liked me too. I guess we both suck at the romance thing huh.”

He nodded, unsure what else to do.

“And now here we are, admitting our feelings in an elevator, geez, this is beyond cheesy.”

A small chuckle escaped him, “Yeah I guess it is huh. All this time I’ve been nervous for nothing.”

You giggled, “Yup, for nothing. You acted like a scared schoolboy afraid of telling his crush his feelings.”

He smiled, “Well that would make sense, I’ve never been in a relationship before.”

You froze, brain stopping as your heart quickened its pace, “What? Never?”

His body went rigid with the realization of what he had admitted, “No. The commission didn’t want me to get distracted I guess. So I never made any effort to find one, so- um,” he looked away, “Yeah…”

You looked up at him in shock, and before you could stop, the words poured out of your mouth, “What? But you’re- you’re Hawks! People would die to go out with you, your young, nice, charming.”

He scoffed, “Come on, do you really think me acting the way I have been has been charming? And I’ve been so busy...my whole life I guess, so having a relationship has never really been in the cards for me I guess.”

You couldn’t help but slump at his words, “So, you still can’t have a relationship?”

He looked up at you, frantically, “No no! Now I can! I was um…” he was at a loss for words, looking down again.

“I was actually wondering…” his words stopped slowly.

“You were wondering if…” you said slowly.

“If maybe...you would...want to…” god he just couldn’t get the words out, “want to...go out with me?”

He held his breath, till he felt your hand run through his hair.

He looked back at you, seeing you smile before saying, “Well, how can I say no to the number two pro hero? And the guy that I’ve had a crush since… forever.”

He felt his heart leap, his nerves settling, his face coming laxer. He felt like pinching himself, thinking there was no way this was right, no way you had actually liked him back, yet here you were, telling him you wanted to go out.

He felt like he could do anything at that moment like nothing was holding him back.

You brought your hands to his cheek, making him come closer to you.

“Hawks, have you ever kissed anyone before?”

He was thrown off by the question, face, yet again, becoming a scarlet red like his feathers.

“I- well...um,” he nervously scrambled for the words that couldn’t be found.

You just smiled reassuringly at him, gently creasing his face, “It’s ok, Hawks, you can breathe now,” you giggled a bit.

He let out a shaky breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Slowly, he leaned forward, looking desperately into your eyes, as you looked desperately back into. 

Slowly, your lips met, soft and subtle. Gentle, and light, Keigo thought there was no better sensation. The way your lips shaped around his felt like pure heaven, he chided himself for not kissing you sooner.

You brought a hand up to his hair, running your hands through it, pulling him more into you. And boy, did he want to get closer.

If it was up to Keigo, he would have spent his whole life kissing you, but alas, you pulled away.

“Wow,” he didn’t mean to say it, it just sorts of slipped out.

You chuckled lightly, “Not so bad yourself, huh.”

As you two laughed, you both felt the elevator slowly rise. 

“Oh well,” you sighed, “looks like they figured it out.”

“Um so,” Keigo commanded himself to be steady, “I know a pretty good cafe. Would you...want to come, with me, together, as a-” you cut him off.

“It’s a date.”

. . .

Hawks tag list

@under-the-clouds @shylesbiannerd @roko-ppk @Mikazuki @1small-frogs