#ok i dont hate the thing. i just get insecure about my interests already but its easier to justify going stircrazy over my ocs haha

[sabine-smitten-obviously]

and now i have to find myself a tower in a forest near a wall ...

... and look for a black, dark sorcerer !

You love fairy tales? You love Good Omens? You loved Aziraphale and Crowley in medieval clothes? Then you will love this not so little fanfic i dearly recommend to you!

Villainous by @ineffablepenguin

What it is about:

Once Upon A Time…

There was a red-haired sorcerer who lived alone in a high tower, and a blond prince who lived in a palace full of people. And they were both of them desperately lonely.

The Kingdoms of Empyrion and the Sorcerers of Apollyon have hated each other for hundreds of years, ever since the Great War. They do not interact, other than to occasionally try to kill one another. And they certainly do not make friends.

Crow is an exhausted sorcerer who just wants everyone to leave him the hell alone: for the Sorcerer’s Council to stop harassing him to live up to his potential, and for wannabe Empyrion Heroes to stop attacking his tower to try and kill him. Until one day when he meets Prince Azra of the High Fells, who doesn’t behave anything like he’s supposed to…

Part fairy tale, part fantasy, all love story. There’s magic, and grand romantic gestures, and Heroes and a handsome Prince, and a Villain. There are even some wild heroics, though not necessarily from who you would expect. At its core it’s simply about two (relatively) sane people living in a mad world who find each other.

What i love about it:

🫅🏼 I mean - fairytales? And a lot of them? I found it very nice to guess all the tales when stumbling upon a hint. Nice touch: in the epilogue there is a list of all the fairytales which have kind of flown into this fanfic and i am quite proud that i only missed 1 i actually know (and of course those i dont know).

👑 This story is RICH - and i mean really rich. It goes into details over everything and sometimes it reminded me of books written bei Hermann Hesse because of all the little things that kept coming and being mentioned. On my e-reader it was 566 pages! And yes, it took them about 200 pages for their first kiss 😅 That said, its always drawing a picture and reading the story is kind of seeing in your imagination. Obviously nothing is ineffable for @ineffablepenguin 😉

💪 The action scenes: oh my, its like a Schwarzenegger-movie, you cant stop reading, its fast, its furiuos ... oh, thats another movie, ngk.

🩷 The character development: both of our beloved angels start out being insecure of their roles, their place and their worth. But - this is the first fanfic i ever read, where both of them get to be BAMF !!!!

🩷 The plot: i love being suprised - i mean we do know a lot already, diving into a GO-fanfic with the tag "happy ending", right? So there were some really interesting turns and sometimes i wondered "ok, just how will this play out? How will the author get to unknot THIS?" And i have to admit, sometimes i really didn't see it coming. Very nice!

🩷 The healing: i dont know if it was on purpose or the author just felt like our ineffables needed to hear and think stuff, but actually the way their characters develop and how they help each other with it, what they are thinking etc ... reminded me a lot of trauma-therapy. So as one of those few (ähem) people who really spiraled after the big 15 of S2, this was such a nice feeling.

💫 the epilogue - this story doesnt end at happily ever after. Instead we get to know, how they make a living for themselves and sneak a little into their daily lifes. I truly appreciate that, its a nice way of comforting the Reader out of the story.

This wonderful art is from @pinkpiggy93! 🩷

Most beloved quote:

"And i love you too, my dear," he said firmly. "You are so very easy to love."

And isnt this quite a sentence, we all need to hear?

So if you are into good omens, fairytales, long fanfics to really dive in to for several hundred pages, some surprises and of course a happy ending - this is quite the story for you.

🩷🤗

Reading is not a hobby, its an attitude.

[verm1c1de]

me explaining pradr to screamp

v whole rant under the cut

its a guy trying to find his ((figurative))soulmate in people who are decidedly nefur going to be that and two losers who already have their respective ((figurative))soulmate and arent looking fur anofur one and yet end up finding someone who still isnt that but nonetheless ends up being impurrtant to them despite efurrything

also hes like their little attack dog they look down on but actually he is not a dog he is like a loose coyote

with rabies

but they have fun togefur,,,,,, mewsually shallow, hedonistic fun, on the tallits end, with dip trying and occasionally succeeding to get them to have His definition of fun ((petty rivalry)), but its still nefur gonna be like zim but it does feel good to "corrupt" uppity irken leaders into playing enemy tuoys with mew

so its mostly a lot of dib suffuring but mew cant say that being attracted to dib membrane isnt its own kind of misery

though

even if not Written Down on Paper Illegal ((though itd still purrobably be like. grounds fur punishment)) its definitely a really. really. really. really. really bad look fur them

or purrhaps Looking Fucking Cringe is enough punishment,,,

ur making the empire look bad. stop it. kicks them

well,,,,,,,,,,, i dont know what the fuck reds purroblem is but he certainly clawses most of his own purroblems. hes too much of a damn enabler,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

im not sure how to phrase this next sentence theres a lot of opinions im trying to condense into compurrehendable sentences

its,,, more interesting to me to give him the Role of figurative masochist or loser or smitten or sub etc beclaws of how hes the Cool Guy the big talker the "Competent One". or maybe thats just me and my "the stereotypical top gets topped" fetish

and furankly ourp does not give me the vibes of "guy who takes these things that seriously" or "wants to have an emotional connection guy" though to purresume red is That much better would be a mistake

hes still a jerk and an irken and a tallits

wurple,,, just likes a funny little guy. hes having a laugh. its Interesting and New even if dibs rlly gross and annoying and stupid and asks too many questions and,,, well,,,,,, at least he can still bully him at the end of the day

i think trying to connect earnestly with ourp is a struggle fur anyone even red who has the advantage of Knowing Him Since Furefur

beclaws ourp dont caaaaaaare

but if they did,,,,

((they being ourp n dip))

one of dibs main traits is being purrceptive. and noticing that purp might not be as stupid as hes been letting himself be,,,

i dont think purp is Insecure about his place in life at all. i dont think he goes "waaa people think im dumb"

its more like

"aha ur smarter than u look human. but im still not doing the dishes just bcs u noticed im not actually too stupid to do them"

and dip unintentionally getting him to Try Harder and thus have more fun than just doing explosions efurry day

dib membrane is like those brain exercises mew have to do in order to keep mewrself furom brainrotting in human furm fur gay irkens ((including zim))

as fur them to him,,,,,

its complicated. hed really fuckin hate being looked down on and being treated like some jester. but him trying to break out of that role theyve set fur him will annoy them but itd also make him more Interesting, even if not in a necessarily Good way. theres a lot of things about eachofur that they just straight up hate and its hard to say when they start being intolerable to eachofur

but Eventually,,,, getting the god-empurrors of an alien empire to Like mew? even if mew hate what they stand fur, thats Gotta be some kind of ego boost,,,

maybe they can get him to lighten the fuck up just a little

and influence him in ofur, unfurtunate ways,,,,

dib finds himself accidentally being purroud of how tall he is when he mewsed to not gaf

or "murder is ok as long as its not humans"

dib can yap at them all he wants about "maybe blowing planets up is bad actually" but what can he say? he only cares about His planet. alllll hes doin is yapping and swearing how hell take down their whole empire,,, whiner

and also trying to start fights that would really look bad fur them if they took seriously at all even if just fur fun but hes REALLY annoying and punchable and tussling sounds reaaaaallyy fun and so does winning,,,

reminds them of their elite days,,,,,,,,,,,,,

ok tl;dr purple => dib: thinks hes funny and stupid and inferior and doesnt like being insulted by his bigheaddedness but likes bullying him and ocassionally bullying WITH him. hates that dib starts taking them less seriously as a threat and calling them stupit and doesnt even like getting his weaponized incompetence called out but it does make dib more interesting fur it dib => purple: dib thinks hes stupit and stops taking the tallits seriously but thinks purp specifically is soooo mean and sadistic to him and doesnt take dib seriously eifur what a bully but riling him up is funny and sometimes bullying With him feels good and getting purp to Lock In is especially fun ((and scary)). enjoys that wurple will expawsition Irken Knowledge to him just beclaws he likes being better at remembering things than red red => dib: thinks hes funny and stupid and inferior and hey wait a minute hes been listening to dib talk about ghosts fur 5 hours now surely hell stop Eventually... red tolerates dib too much even though he still definitely loves bullying him but just like zim he foolishly thinks that Maybe enabling him a little will make him less annoying,,,, it does not. red cant help accidentally taking dib seriously sometimes and engaging and talking with him on a normal level. it makes dib even more annoying to him. but actually noticing dibs purrsonality sure does make him more new and interesting to be around,,,,,,, dib => red: oh ok theyre Both stupid and not as much of a threat as hed hoped thought. but red occasionally being Competent and not treating him like an idiot sometimes makes him want to see how fur that goes. he Will make them take him seriously. dib is a Real Threat!! mew hear him!!!! likes that red will "listen" [read: zone out] to his rants and that hell play into the "hero v villain" thing more often. purrobably the furst one he bonds with as a purrson past the tallits learned vapidity. and then swiftly reminded hes still jerkish and egotistical

ok not much of a tl;dr damn

[tfyoulookingatgiuxs]

Okay, I'm back. I know I've been away for a long time, but I'll try to catch up on everything and bring you all my analyzes and opinions on Helluva Boss!

Today we talk about Apology Tour, the ninth episode of Helluva Boss. And to be honest, I don't think this post will be very long, because I know I don't have any great opinions about it. But without further ado, let's get started.

The episode begins, as you well know, with Stolas receiving an invitation from Verosika to an "Anti-Blitzø" party, which suggests to us that Verosika is friends with Stolas and that she found out about the fight that happened in "The Full Moon ". An argument that will continue to repeat itself and here I have to say that I also felt bad, because the two didn't even clarify. We knew from the last episode that there were some communication errors in the dispute, obviously given by as said in my post previous to this one, given by insecurities, especially on Blitz's part. And in fact here the thing doesn't change, it just makes us notice how the relationship between the two has now changed. Stolas looks at him with different eyes, the eyes that Blitz hates so much, and despite this he shows his bad temper and gives space to his pride, as if he had come there just to annoy. Although Stolas points out that if he calls a relationship "boring" then he wouldn't be there to continue the half-finished conversation. Let's say that the meaning of the entire episode makes us understand that if Blitzø left his pride and insecurities aside, no one would hate him by now, in fact it would be enough to admit his mistakes as was the case with Fizzarolli to then be forgiven. Here then Blitz will begin this "Apology Tour" which honestly reminds me of Verosika's (now no longer available) t-shirt with her Tour dates.

WAIT WHAAAT??!!

I dont care what you think, i ship them so hard 💕✨️ I never expected this, i literally gasped.

Ok, apart from the new ship that I love, let's focus on the new song that Stolas sings. Which in my opinion in this second season he sang more than all the other characters, and it's not just a point of view, but that's how it is. In short, I know that in the end, among all the characters, the moment that the audience is interested in now is Blitz and Stolas, but I feel that they were highlighted a little too much. As I said in "The Full Moon" their conversation lasted too short and I expected much more. The song is nice, but never as nice as those of the first season, it is a song that makes us understand Stolas' soul, and okay, I'm not saying it's bad, but it's a point of view that we know, that already with a song by (even more than one) made us understand how he felt, so I didn't find it necessary honestly. However, the song "Over You" by Verosika on the other hand, I appreciated and liked.

I can say that this moment saddened me. I can understand Blitz's point of view and here we see for the first time, how he TOTALLY changes his attitude towards Stolas, when he realizes that that entire conversation, both of them had misinterpreted each other. A side that Blitz shows very few times, his empathetic side. They have always shown us Blitz as the usual asshole Imp, funny, selfish and who doesn't care about anything or anyone, when we know very well the opposite. Being at a party where basically everyone hates you, where without his presence they are happy and have healthy relationships (hopefully, at least that's what I've seen). Relationships that Stolas would also like with Blitz, but obviously he is too afraid of making himself hated again.

This. The part I appreciated the most. The focus of the episode. Make it up to Verosika. Yet another demonstration that admitting your mistakes and apologizing makes progress. In general of course. A person can't always forgive you, but already having admitted your mistakes and bullshit you take steps forward, especially towards yourself, and this is the beautiful thing about this episode. And then there are people who say that Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel didn't teach you anything😃.

In this scene I appreciated how we, the audience at home, were able to get to know Verosika better too. That despite everything that happened, she seriously believed in their relationship, that she suffered from their past relationship, and that she is also ready to forgive the Imp that everyone hates. I liked seeing something that didn't always revolve around Blitz and Stolas for once. Which okay, I ship them, I want there to be a twist, but honestly it was getting too much. Then at the end of this episode there is no turning point, on the contrary, they even make us believe that it could have even been over between them.

Now. I want someone to explain the meaning to me. What was this for? That is, do you want me to believe that it didn't take much for Stolas to fall at the feet of another demon? Surely Stolas needs to start doing some soul searching and discussing what he wants in life. Because going to fuck someone else is certainly not the right way 😭. So we are just fueling the idea that Stolas is the bastard and that Stella (his wife) is the poor innocent victim who suffered betrayal.

Anyway, tell me what you think of this episode. As I said, I didn't know what to say, as it didn't excite me much. However, a 7/10 is more than enough. I'll post the "Ghostfuckers" one tomorrow.

-SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH!!

[ayyden-apoloe]

ok im here to read 2 days late bc of sickyness :D !! godgodgod okaY SO thank you for actually replying omg im so excited waHhhh

readmore bc i got really autistic about this and its long aaaaaaaAa i love this ty bye

ooooourgh i feel like the walking in the dark thing could also be them both feeling isolated and looked down (maybe unintentionally) by the other guild members on for wanting to interact w each other. the gajeel side of that is obvious, nobody trusts him and they all think he doesnt belong and he cant blame them for that.

but with LEVY i feel like after The Incident she and droy and jet dont really ,, talk about what happened and seeing each other while theyre healing just makes them angry and sad so they distance for a while (maybe 2-3 weeks ? a month ? however long it takes them to physically heal) and then try and gloss over it w maybe the occasional outburst from one of them ((for that goodgood healing-from-trauma story spice)) and when she decides to listen to her heart and maybe give gajeel a second chance shes Scared and Confused and maybe a bit Ashamed, bc why should she even give this asshole the time of day, he tried to kill her family. when she says this team shadowgear gets into a fight. like a screaming sobbing awful terrible fight where jet is mostly just angry, he thinks levy feels she Has to forgive gajeel bc shes gotta be the bigger person and/or that if she Doesnt shes afraid of what gajeel might do in the future. droy is fucking afraid tho, he hasnt really had a proper convo w his 2 best friends in the world for a monTh and then suddenly one of them decides to let the guy who nearly killed them and made it a public spectacle just start ovER ?? what the fuck ! where did his headstrong and reliable levy go and who is this girl in her place ?!? and levY is the most confused of all of them bc shit jet and droy are right ! theyre fucking right !! whY is she sticking her foot back in that beartrap and why does she feel like if she doesnt her world will crumble around her ? (i think she doesnt handle anger very well she doesnt know what to do w all the energy and it just consumes her thoughts and she sits and stews) she Shouldnt forgive gajeel hes a dick and hes proven it and christ if jet and droy are feeling like this then how will the rest of the guild think, she already cant barely stand to be around most of them rn, theyve only looked at her w pity or a wince of pain for an entire month and she feels like she let everyone she knows down

NEXT !! (had to force myself to set that last paragraph down i have so many thoughts and ideas) i see your gajeel feeling like a fake and a mess bc hes not Actually a terrible guy and he doesnt want to be but fuck its all he knows to do at this point and i do the gif of the kid at the desktop nodding and doing a thumbs up, you know the one, i have no notes youre right and fantastic and SOSO smart

GOD YES DEMIROMANTIC GAJEVYYYYYY YEAAAHHHH im demiromantic and demisexual myself so i GET IT DUDE RAAAAAAGH :D !! when they first started talking a little normally i was like wait wtf this is going too fast, they should hate each other but then it grew on me. and i really Really like that feeling of gajeel and levy feeling forced and awkward and painful to watch interact for a while, its shows theyre human and you gotta have room enough for the original feeling of my the viewers' disgust to die down before jumping into even complicated aquaintance territory, let alone anything romantic [i have a bigbad hc about the SG getting beaten incident thats honestly really dark that adds to my thoughts and feelings on this but thats a whole entiRE can of wyrms]

sits and listens raptly and eats popcorn for the last few quotes bc yeysyesyes no notes, levy NEEDS to be her own 3d person who has issues and insecurities and and aND (hers is the more interesting side of their whole trust issues situation imo)

ANYWAY BITES AND TEARS AND RENDS AND CHEWS AND RIPS AND GNAWS AND AND AND AND !!! but yeah i also super get the fear of being soso invested in smthn other people might look at as weird and crying bc you Gotta share but what if people are mean waiLS ! so ty for actually answering w so many thoughts aaaa this is everything i couldve asked for bWAH im sending my admiration to you as we speak it will arrive in the mail by sunday

bore the shadows that you made, with no light of my own, i shine only with the light you gave me

sniffle sniffle …… gajevebebebeytt and this song … GRAH,, also an alternate version under the cut :3

[saint-nevermore]

hey, i have no idea if your account is even still active but uh you know that Spamton puppet you posted awhile back? yeah thats fucking sick and i wanna try to make my own but i cant find any good tutorials online on how the fuck a ventriloquist dummy works (ventriloquism is not something i ever wanted to persue in life)

*presses the cold steel of my 12 gauge to your forehead* tell me how it works. now. specifically the jaw mechanism

im still active >:) so like im not a puppet maker that was my first one (who now haunts me now my hyperfixation has moved on) but i pretty much just googled the mechanism and copied what i saw. its a string that attaches to the jaw and goes down the neck tube and out a hole near where you hold it. he needed a new mechanism at the end that pulled it up instead because his head and jaw were stupid heavy when all painted etc. ftr hes barely functional because of how heavy he is and the neck tube is slowly buckling so hes a really cool thing to Have i guess if a life-size spamton is your think (and i must reiterate - it no longer is for me, help) bit actually using him aint an option until i decide to fix him :'3 here were my notes but i had to compromise a lot

(also please do not rp gunthreatening strangers thats really weird i almost just didnt answer)

[thecustomcosplayed]

reacting to Shubble’s ep. 6 of Empires :)  *SPOILER WARNING.. obviously* oh no Shubble don’t steal the trident your channeling your Afterlife cat Shubble. but Joey also called Shub a lowly witch, which she is very insecure about, so.. fair enough. “I mean, I’m already a criminal, I might as well keep going” FKASJKJF please Shub, that’s so funny- also, leaning more into villain Shelby arc?? jeez, Shelby has to put signs reading ‘Beware of the fog!’, it’s that bad?? that’s really worrying. magic spawn fire? yeah that makes sense, there’s been weirder.. but it summons thunder, and now everybody is just calling Joel ‘Thunder Daddy’ now, that’s... weird. But okay, go off, I guess. OH THE FIRE THING WORKED?? jeez the blue fire (wisps??) is really powerful this season huh? it’s defo the corruption of this season, I mean, come on. breaking out of lore, I wonder if they just changed the weather and the camp fire. probably. Shubble please don’t strike all the creepers you will die this is a bad idea- just take one head and go, yes, leave that one it’s fine. the fire didn’t seem to have a cut between clips tho?? huh, very interesting.. oop Shelby didn’t do her research. ‘this guys not even the right guy’, well that’s a problem. that clip looked like it was cut tho for the fire?? but I mean she did get the creeper head, good for her! ooh she found Pix’s bridge that’s pretty cool. and she stayed in the Sanctuary outpost :) oh shes at Sanctuary now. Sausage needs to make 1 big hat joke by the end of this please. khgash Shub please humble yourself if you keep bragging your so good it’ll be worse if/when they find out. Shelby claiming herself as a nature witch?? hmm... interesting. fire normally wrecks nature so. Shub talking to the nature; ‘great work, big fan’ jkfsak please. OOOH BANNER FOR THE EVERMOORE :O. they are very pretty! a simple design, but it does look magical and plant-y(?) also it kinda looks like a diff banner from a different Empire (maybe season 1) but I can’t place my finger on it? Sausage please- you don’t tell people were laughing at somebody when they came please- poor Shelby shes getting hit in her more insecure spots this episode. llamas in the farm? yeah thats normal. OH NO THE SIGNS OH CRAP THATS NOT GOOD ITS BACK?? also, somebody on my other Shub-reaction vid reblogged and put the tags they thought it was the 13th person or the fog and I thought the fog was a good idea (and with the title of this vid) I think that’s the most likely thing. ‘They are coming for you.’ Damn, that’s... creepy- I’m guessing they is the witch council (all my homies hate the witch council) but still, could be the other Empires or the 13th person on the server. ah yes, the infamous ‘it’s just a prank’ to push away all your worries and fears. also, nervous laughter. yep, Shub, blame it on the llamas. “Who would wanna be here? I didn’t even.” comedy gold- also, more thick fog?? Shelby needs to explore the mangrove in the center, seriously. after she gets wings though maybe, so she can fly out. a ghost on the server?? ooh, that could be possible honestly. doesn’t Pix see ghosts? ‘they were by the campfire’ ‘the campfire was fully cursed’ DAMN OK SO THE FIRE IS BAD?? Shub please don’t aggravate the ghost, you’ve already aggravated a demon before.. also.. buff Shubble?? pop off, pop off. OOH SHUB VILLAIN ARC BUT AGAINST THE COUNCIL?? but also please dont fight them you are strong but you dont know how to use said strength. ooh banner fits well with the mushroom shop building. also, “They can try to take me out of the Evermoore, but this is my home now” wow, that’s... weirdly wistful?? like she didn’t even wanna come, and now she says its her home. oh the ghost is fighting? not again??? Shub, have you have dealt with a ghost before? backstory?? also “and I’m like.. really buff”, please oh my god, Shubble has no right to be this funny... “You can’t be invisible, because I’m the only one who can make those potions”, wait so that’s like... canon? in s1 ppl could make potions even with Gem, but I guess s2 magic is more reformed and only taught to a certain group of people? like Hogwarts? Shelby, sweetie, your not technically a witch anymore, your just doing illegal magic and calling yourself a witch, they might come, but your gonna get arrested if they do come.. ‘the most powerful witches’- Shelby you literally moved a whole universe over and it might have been only a little part of the world but you did it on accident, your magic is that powerful, you just aren’t good at harnessing it. “Trust me, it’s not a nice place” Uh?? have you been to witch prison before, Shub?? or are you just.. saying that to say it?? the trees look like their walking?? the fog is disorienting?? what if thats how people get lost? the trees are actually moving but it doesn’t seem like it and the fog doesn’t help. also pfft, Shub willing to apologize to a tree is funny. oh hi Scott yeah Shub totally wasn’t talking to herself, yep it was the fog, mhm. also Scott’s hat?? its actually pretty cool, I won’t lie. and he needs potions, so that’s good for Shub. ooh Scott’s wings are pretty :). oh witches do canonically fly on brooms whoops, I might need to change my fic to match that... uhhh.. that’s fine. also yeah, everybody is vacuuming now and days cause it’s so much easier. PFFT “you got a Swiffer or something?” also, just the ‘fog’ talking to Shelby? that’s not sus at all. yeah better keep that quiet, people are gonna think your crazy and won’t come. oh wait there’s a sculk sensor and shrieker? man I got it spot on with the deep dark = corruption, huh?? that’s not good though.. if a Warden spawns.. is it in the tree?? seriously what’s got it out for Shub this bad?? “sorry you exist now, my bad, sorry I gave you life” oh my god please- that shouldn’t be that funny... oh its under the tree? that was where the sign was, no? OH SOMEBODYS GOT A POTION, WHOSE DIGGING UNDER SHUBBLE’S TREE?? and splash potions?? jeez, what is happening?! aren’t ghosts coropeal?? actually I don’t think that matters it shot arrows at Shelby so.. no Shub, please, get rid of the sculk it’s not good it’s like worse then the fog please.. and you’ll get startled by zombies and skeletons and like if anybody comes to visit, they’ll get jump scared too. chickens are cool though, that’s fine, but yeah, that’s also an invasion of privacy. oh fWhip is here with his big ears okay- oh he’s just here for mangrove roots okay. OOH BONE MEAL that’s really good for Shubble. oh jeez the fog is leaking out? that’s not fine. also maybe the ghost is just after Shub and Sausage? I would say S names but.. uh.. Scott..  KHJGDSAKHK SHUB NO WE DON’T TEST MAGIC ON OUR FRIENDS. of course she doesn’t notice that not to sound mean but Shelby probably didn’t have many friends at her witch school. OOH BROOM TIME?? ‘doesn’t seem to exist in minecraft’ shshhshs no breaking the fourth wall Shub (/j). YO SHE MADE A BRROM THATS COOL DOES IT WORK- also, her wand and broom have the same color palette? but they dont seem to match any other colors in her Empire?? FSAKJ “I knew I could break the game” please of course Shubble can do that. sakjk she just flies with like invisible wings and rockets with her broom in her off hand that’s funny.

[yesimwriting]

hi, i love all your work! could i please request headcanons for what it'd be like to go from being enemies to lovers with nikolai lantsov.

thank you:)

A/N maybe i moved this up on my request lists bc i woke up today and went 'nikolai lantsov'

--

- i'm being a little liberal with cannon bc my mind first went to 'princess! reader who hates nikolai bc they're competitive and then they have to team up together to try to get their parents to break up their arranged marriage but fall in love in the process (this might be a little undetailed but i'm thinking of writing a full fic or mini-series with this plotline so let me know if you'd be interested!! i could see a smutty ending to that fic but idk,, lmk what you thing ig lol)

- Ok so first off enemies to lovers with the loml nikolai lantsov would be SO GOOD bc he's so dramatic and obviously attractive so even though you hate him you know he's hot,, there's never a dramatic realization that he's attractive bc it's just a fact

- butttt you'd rather give up any claim you have to your family's throne than feed his already gigantic ego

- okk but lets get to the beginning of your enemies to lovers relationship

- so basically every summer your parents go and stay with Nikolai's family at this super fancy vacation home bc your parents are both royalty and your kingdoms have a very healthy relationship

- just bc it's the summer season doesn't mean it's summer vacation,, so as children for about a month you two share a tutor,, and when i tell you that created a rivalry so fast i mean it

- you're not the eldest princess and you're always trying to be the best for your parents approval, nikolai just wanted to impress the really smart girl who had a pretty laugh (poor nikolai lol,, he had no way of knowing how important being the best in school no matter what was to your self esteem)

- maybe if you two could communicate you’d like each other a little better at this point but it starts when you’re pretty young and by the time you’re like 13 it’s a solidified dynamic (and 13 year olds are the MEANEST and most insecure people in the world so that’s when your relationship turns to full enemies)

- now that you’re 13 you have more princess-y requirements, especially over the summer. So when you see that Nikolai gets to practice with swords and gets more free time while you have to practice setting tables you hate him more than ever. 

- Nikolai senses that you’re extra hostile but he has no idea why,, he tries asking once but he makes a joke about how ‘maybe you’re jealous bc youre no longer the center of my attention’ and even though he’s just trying to ease the tension you feel like he’s making fun of you

- so that’s when things get aggressive, but at that point summer is almost over so it’s whatever

- next summer comes and you’re still SO MAD at him,, so when you get to the estate you’re like ‘i’m not even talking to him idc how quiet these next three months are’ 

- and you get there all determined to hate him,, but once you get there and see him something in you cracks bc he had the audacity to spend the last year going through puberty AND LIKE HE’S ALWAYS BEEN CUTE BUT THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE 

- so youre mentally panicking bc how do you even talk to someone that looks like that now???? but then you remember that you didnt even want to talk him so in a panic youre like ‘maybe i can avoid him and he’ll just assume it’s bc i hate him bc i do,, who cares if he’s unbelievably hot now’ 

- nikolai doesn’t assume anything, he just gets to the estate and is like ‘why hasn’t she insulted me yet?? is she suddenly too good to give me attention?’ so during the lessons that you still share he gets an idea

- he decides to one-up you in everything bc that’s always gotten a reaction out of you 

- it works,, every time he corrects you or steals an answer from you, you’re ready to snap but then you look at him and take in his stupidly perfect face and  you just shut up 

- nikolai thinks it’s not working so he just tries harder

- by the end of week one you can’t take it anymore so when the tutor leaves at the end of lessons you snap, you tell him off for how often he’d repeat what you said and change a few words and get all the praise from the tutor

- on the inside he’s like ‘took long enough’ but the more you rant he’s like ‘is she okay???’ he’d be more concerned if you weren’t threatening his pride and at this point he’s still annoyed bc if you were that annoyed you should have just talked to him instead of ignoring him for a week

- he’s thinking that just bc you got really pretty over the last year doesn’t make you too good to yell at him on the daily

- the worst thing anyone can do to nikolai is ignore him LMAO (lowkey relatable)

- so he starts arguing with you and you’re so upset that you forget about how aggressively attractive he is 

- and you two are alone in this room and the more you argue the closer you two get

- the climax of the argument is when neither of you are yelling, you’re just so mad you’re beyond raising your voice and once you’re both at that point it goes like this: 

“Nikolai Lantsov, you are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met” 

“Well then, Darling, you should look in a mirror.” 

“You are so entitled, so ridiculously self obsessed that it ruins your attractiveness.” 

“...” he literally just like blinks twice. “You think I’m attractive?” 

“Uh? No--i didn’t say that at all, maybe if you didn’t have the language comprehension of a child you’d understa--” he just reaches forward, grabs the collar of your dress, and kisses you. 

- it’s your first kiss so you have no idea what you’re doing and it’s with some one you CANT STAND and you’re so mad bc you had expectations for your first kiss and he’s taken that from you--but the thing is,, 

- he’s good at it. Like really good at it. Like so good it makes you curious about what he does the nine months of the year he’s not stuck here with you bc there’s no way he hasn’t had practice. 

- but you’re also extremely confused and nervous and aware of how stupid you’re being (and a little hormonal bc being 14 isn’t easy) and then he places his hand on your cheek and that snaps some sense of reality into you bc it’s one thing to enjoy the kiss but another thing entirely to want him to escalate it

- so you place one hand on his chest and push him off of you slightly. He takes the hint, pulls away enough to look at you and then you two just stare at each other 

- your hand is still on his chest and you have absolutely no idea what comes next, but you find yourself looking at his lips

- since you haven’t slapped him or pulled away more than a few inches he thinks maybe things are okay so he leans forward slightly and kisses you again. 

- you reciprocate a little too fast, the kiss lasts two seconds before thinking about how insane you’re being so you push away entirely. 

- He lets you go,, and in the most awkward display ever you’re like ‘uh I need to go,, i can’t be late to ball preparation lessons’ and you leave that room faster than you’ve ever left a room in your entire life. 

- the next day you consider pretending to be sick to avoid him but that would only give him more power over the situation so you go,, and he’s just sitting there calmly

- youre on edge the entire day but he never even jokes about it

- a part of you is a tiny bit annoyed bc who kisses you and then pretends it never happened? but overall, you’re relieved 

- the days pass and it never comes up but now whenever you two argue you think of how quickly kissing him both shut him up and got rid of your tension 

- the summer goes by quickly, your usual dynamic has returned and you wonder if he even remembers kissing you. twice. in a row. 

- the next couple of years are normal,, even when you two no longer take lessons together you still dont like him. He’s just so assured and he takes such joy in bothering you. 

- and then one summer your parents sit you down and they’re like ‘we need to plan the future alliance of our kingdom’ 

- you’re a little confused bc you’re rarely allowed to sit in on these things bc you’re a girl and you’re basically meant to just be a royal’s bride--and then you realize why you’re there. 

- you start protesting before your father can finish announcing your engagement 

- the parents were smart bc they announced it at the end of summer so you two couldn’t drive them crazy or conspire

- the first thing you do when you get back to your castle is write to him for the first time ever 

- your letter is basically ‘pls tell me you’re doing something’ 

- the two of you talk until you come up with the plan to get your parents to break up your engagement 

- your parents dont really care about your feelings and they expect the two of you to argue with them,, but they care about the kingdoms

- so you two decide that if you act like youre so in love that you let your duties slip the engagement will end,, especially if you two are in love in a toxic way 

- so the next summer you two make sure to flirt and act like youre totally obsessed with each other and skip lessons together and just are constantly together and acting like you’re on a honeymoon

- your parents are like ?? since when 

- at one point you flirt with a random guard just so Nikolai can have a ‘jealous outburst’ while your families are strolling through the garden 

- ngl jealous nikolai had you ready to RISK IT ALL,, you were ready to drop the plan and marry him on the spot 

- he notices bc he notices everything about you and when your family walks away he gives you a quick kiss and youre stunned,, much to his delight 

- your desire to break up your engagement takes a slight backseat in your mind bc you decide to set off on a secret goal to make him flustered

- it doesn’t take much, your dresses get a little more risky, your comments get a little more suggestive

- the only problem?? he seems to have his own personal goal and it’s to make you even more flustered than he is

- soon the two of you are lost in layers of pretend and competition

- when your parents are finally thinking about delaying the engagement and keeping you two away from each other until you calm down a little (i feel bad for them,, an entire summer of being surrounded by the ULTIMATE sexual tension) 

- you’re sad and you don’t know why bc this is what you wanted, but then Nikolai stands up and says that you two planned for this and he has the letters to prove it (he was ready to drop the receipts LMAO) and youre like ??what are you doing?

- and he says he’d rather marry you then never see you again bc now all he wants is to get know you bc he has no idea how he wasted so much time arguing with you 

- and you just meltttt but your in front of your entire family and his as well so you just sit there for a minute and then you tell him you feel the same way 

- but the summer’s over

- you kiss him before leaving and he says you’ll have to visit bc he can’t go an entire year without seeing your ‘pretty face’ 

- you promise to visit him soon

- your at home for exactly a day and a half before getting an invitation to visit him 

- you laugh bc the only way that letter could get to you that fast is if he mailed it before you even left 

- you say yes obviously,, and spend some time having a really cute fall-dating vibes together until you figure out how you really feel 

- and you feel like he makes your heart STOP and that’s why you hated him,, bc you didn’t like being vulnerable 

[vomitlyart]

Reading you based on your obey me Kin

i will be ruthless and im not holdin back!! ok now say it with me😈

Lucifer

I kin Lucifer and I have a hard time reaching out to my friends for help even when i know i need it. I don't want people to get worried about me so i mask my issues and help everyone with thier issues, completely disregarding my own needs for a break. in the end i feel alone because regardless of saying im ok, i want someone to truly sit with me and ask me if im ok, but i fear that moment because im not used to dealing with my own issues

Mammon

I kin Mammon and i just want to feel seen and loved. sometimes i do stupid/dumb things to get the seratonin that comes from making people laugh. i feel like no one ever listens to me and it makes me feel insignificant and like the last one to get picked. i truly want to be myself and fear that if im not the odds one out by doing little dumb things people will think im essentially worthless and most likely think im borning. I have a hard time talking about my feelings and want to so desperately, that if i do i won't know what to say or where to start due to the many emotions i've bottled up throughout my life

Levi

I kin Leviathan and i have very bad anxiety. i have a difficult time making friends and part of that reason is bc im scared they already hate me or want nothing to do with me. I know my interests are different from what is considered the norm but i so desperately want to talk and ramble about said interest for hours to someone who will at the very least listen. I get bashed about the things i like by my family and although i dont show it, this hurts me deeply. I lock myself in my room and indulge myself in my favorite things bc each character makes me wish i had certain aspects of them and makes me wish i lived an interesting life but bc of my anxiety it's extremely hard for me to do so. Im also used to being the last one picked and often assume i will always be the last one picked no matter how many times im reassured and deep down i want someone to relish in my own interests with me and truly love and care for me

Satan

I kin Satan and i have a horrible realtionship with my father. I Loathe my father and the tension arises every time we a near one another. A part of me feels terrible that i loathe my father because i know he has his own mind and emotions and i want to forgive him for what he's done but in the end I know it's fruitless to forgive him bc he has put me through alot of pain and hurt. i wish things couldve been different and we couldve had a normal bond. I also hide my emotions very well and am ashamed of ever feeling angry bc it makes me feel like i am horrible person. im also not used to affection and have only ever seeked or felt genuine affection from my pets. I also fear as if i have no personality and that im boring.

Asmodeus

I kin Asmo and i feel like i need to act confident around others in order for them to like me because im too scared to show people my insecurities because i fear they will never view me the same again and leave me in disgust. I want everyone to like me and I also can't handle when someone doesn't want to be my friend or doesn't like me bc i feel if there's something wrong with me. the need to act confident and cute all the time makes me oblivious to the fact that my insecurities shine through at times and make me even more oblivious to the fact people like me for who i am, insecurities and all

Beelzebub

I kin Beel and i have some form of sepreation anxiety towards my favorite person. i often get a sudden fear that something bad will happen to my fav person even though everything is ok. I get made fun of or scolded by my eating habbits and it makes me feel absolutely terrible because i'm trying. i also care very deeply for my family/friends and will do anything for them. i place unnecessarily guilt onto myself and perfer to do so, so that no one else has to bear the burden.

Belphegor

I kin Belphie and i act as if nothing matters but i secretly am very worried and care alot about my friends/family. I also stay up very late because i feel like i have no control over my life during the day and for some reason i feel like staying up late gives me some kind of control. I also hide my emotions with a sarcastic tone and usually think about the the mistakes ive made in my past while i cry in bed. i dont ask others for help emotionally and i want someone to care and listen to me as well as to relish in a calm peaceful life.

/Undatables/

Diavolo

I kin Diavolo and i fear that telling ppl i care about them isn't enough to get the message across so i constantly gift people things in hopes to show them i care. i also fear gifting things too much drives people away from me, i also dont get included much with friends and feel as if i have done something wrong. i also feel very upset when a fun time is over because the feeling of happiness goes with that moment, so i constantly throw little parties and whatnot to relish in the joy but feel upset once it's over. i can also read people well and get put on edge or very cautious when i cannot read someone

Barbatos

I kin barbatos and i constantly take care of others never once letting myself take a break. I hide my emotions behind a smile in order to not worry others and because i dont want dont ppls sense of depency on me to be ruined. i rarely let myself take breaks bc i fear that i wont be there for the person i care about when they need me.

Solomon

I kin solomon and i usually supress my emotions to hide the fact im not very used to being shown affection and that im not as confident as i seem. I also am a very private person but the fact im so secretive makes me disliked by some bc they think i dislike them. i also wish my friends would include me in more events with them and when they dont i bury myself in an activity to hide the fact im upset about it

Simeon

I kin simeon and i want to know and make sure they everyone is ok. i know just how to push and pull people's buttons but i wont abuse this because i care about those people. i'm also very hard to read and perfer to give people advise rather than answers to their problems. The constant taking care of others makes me forget that i also need time to just myself. It takes alot and i mean alot to anger me but once it happens it's not very pretty.

Luke

I kin luke and I want to take care of everyone and often forget to take care of myself. People often dont take me seriously and so i often i find myself baking as a coping mechisim bc it makes me feel in control of little things. I also have a hard time admitting that i care about others and i'll unknowingly show my affection that i do care about them by giving them little gifts and advice. im also very oblivious to certain topics and are i get mad when i get left in the dark about certain topics.

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Y/n and aizawa get in a real big fight and y/n ends up kissing hawks and y/n keeps it’s a secret but aizawa ends up finding out through eri

Ooooo I like this one a lot!!! I hope u enjoy it I had a lot of fun writing it💕

"I think your overreaching." You said in a monotone to Aizawa

"I think your under reacting." He spat back at you, "Obviously, he has an another motive."

You rolled your eyes, "Hes my friend. Thats it shouta. Hes been my friends forever. Hawks is harmless."

The two of you were arguing about the only thing you two ever aruged about

Hawks

Aizawa wasn't comfortable with the realtionship that the two of you had

The lastest issue being an interview the two of you did together and hawks couldn't seem to keep his hands to himself

Aizawa didnt care that you two had practically grew up together

Or that the two of you did most of your missions together

One because whenever hawks was around it was obvious he was flirting with you dispite you being in a relationship with Aizawa

And two even through he knew you were fateful he couldnt stop the voice in the back of his mind saying maybe you would rather be with someone your own age

Someone you could relate to better

Unlike him who by his own words was a 'tired old man'

But you were content with your relationship with Aizawa

Yes he was older but you liked that about him

"Shouta I dont know how many times I have to tell you, it just isn't like that with hawks." You laughed

Aizawa clearly not seeing anything funny about about this spoke up again "You say that but clearly you've been leading him on if he doesnt even care to flirt with you even when im standing right there!" He yelled at you, "I dont want you hanging out with him."

"You're not my dad Aizawa! You cant to wll me what to do!" What started off as a little argument was turning into a full out yelling session

As it usually did whenever hawks was the subject

Aizawa was letting his insecurities speak for him and was saying words he knew he didnt mean "I dont see why you even stay with me, you like being around him so much why don't you just leave me and sleep with him already."

And feeling hurt you hurled insults back, "You know what? For once you might be right." And not wanting to sit in the apartment with him anymore you stormed out

How could he say something like that to you kept asking yourself

Why didnt he trust you?

You had never done anything to betray his trust so he really had no right

But deep down you knew you weren't so innocent

You could tell hawks to stop with a the flirting and stuff but you didnt

Just being content with it knowing it bothered Aizawa

And that wasnt right

And yes hawks was your close friend and you had to admit he was attractive and charming but you had gotten over your silly little crush for him

The moment you met Aizawa

As far as you were concerned hawks was just a friend

And thats why you found yourself venting your relationship problems to hawks tonight

The two of you were sitting on his couch alone in his apartment

As you ranted about the nights events

And as usual hawks sat there with an open ear and agreeing with you about how right you are

"I say hes cramping your style y/n,"

"You're a grown woman. He cant tell you what to do!"

"He should trust you!"

Basically telling you everything you want to hear

It was well into 2am when you finally calmed down and was seeing clearly

After a few more laughs with Hawks

"I just dont get him sometimes, if I wanted to be with you I would have just started dating you." You said with a laugh

But you notice hawks didnt seem to find that as amusing

Silence grew between you two until he spoke up

"Why didn't you?"

"Huh?"

"Why didnt you decide to date me?" He asked you

That question had been weighing on his mind since the moment he found out you were dating the eraser hero

"Keigo you know why..I...I-you're a player. And you never take anything serious-all you would have done was hurt me."

"Thats not true." He said in a rush

Hawks was looking into your eyes, "if it was you I wouldnt do anything to hurt you...its always been like that for me."

"Keigo..." you didnt know what to say

Yes you knew he always had a little crush on you but you convinced yourself it was harmless

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because even he said it! Why don't you leave him y/n? Me and you we'd be perfect together we both know it."

"Keigo...I love Aizawa."

"So you dont feel anything for me?"

"Its not that keigo..."

"What is it like then?"

You didnt want to tell him you didnt love him because secretly you knew a part of you did

But still

"I should leave." You said getting up and heading for the door

Keigo followed you, "y/n dont go."

He stoppes you before you were out the door, "look im sorry, I...I.. just love you y/n and I just hate seeing you with him..."

You turned around to face him sighing and trying to avoid his gaze "I dont know what you expect me to do keigo im with Aizawa..."

"I know," keigo moved his hand to your face to make you look at him, "but just for a second imagine you were with me."

And before you knew it keigos lips were on yours

You knew better then to kiss him back

But that didnt stop you

And since you didnt reject him, keigo took that as a sign to deepen it

You don't know how long you stood there kissing him

But when you felt his hands start to explode your body

It brought you back to reality

You pulled away realizing what you had done, "I cant do this." And before keigo could stop you

You left

You returned home that night to find Aizawa awake and waiting on you

"Did you go to see him?" He asked

And sighing you told him the truth or at least part of it, "Yes, I did."

"Y/n-"

"Look im sorry," you spoke up, "I should consider how you feel. Its not right for me to let him flirt, ok im sorry Aizawa it won't happen again."

You tell him trying to hold back tears as the guilt ate away at you

Aizawa's face softens as he looked and you and moved to hold you in his arms

"I was wrong for what I said. I know you wouldn't do anything."

His word only made you feel worst

Aizawa kissed your forehead, "lets go to bed."

And so you planned to keep what you did to yourself

You kept a distance from Hawks not knowing how to interact with him from then on

And all this did was hurt him

Keigo missed you

You were his bestfriend and the love of his life but now you were avoiding him

And worst he still had to see you with another man

And it drove him crazy

And to an extent it drove you crazy too

He was your bestfriend too, and you didnt know how to talk to him anymore

And Aizawa had no idea about what you had done

That is until one day when hes watching eri and she tells him

"Are you and y/n not together anymore?"

Aizawa frowned, "No. Why do you say that?"

"Cause, shes likes hawks." She said idly "I heard her say she kissed him."

Aizawa stared at her

Did she know what she was saying?

"When was this?" He asked

"She said it on the phone to her friend. When she was watching me."

Aizawa was at a lost, because he believed eri, cause why would she lie?

Aizawa didnt want to admit it but the idea of it being true

Broke his heart

He was in love with you, but you wanted someone else

Plus you lied you said nothing happened

So with this new knowledge Aizawa went to confront you that night when you two were home

"Eri told me something interesting..."

"Oh yeah?" You asked not really paying attention

"She said you-you kissee Hawks...is this true."

You snapped your head at him

And if it wasn't that it was definitely your silence that confirmed it

"Y/n...why?" He asked you

And you could hear the pain in his voice

And it made you hate yourself knowing you caused this, "I'm so sorry."

A part 2? Maybe? Let me know

[jubberry]

oohkay let's go tua with those ship asks: fiveya, horrance and alluther.

thanks el i love you

Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

fiveya obvs i ship this since this is 90% of my tua drawings lol

1. ill wait ill wait (to be the one) by georgiestauffenberg made me ship it cause holy fuck dude. I dont know if i ship them romantically when i saw them onscreen cause first of all, age difference is kinda weird lmao. Second, they dont rlly interact much outside literally the first couple of eps. But he was so soft for her, and i felt like they had so much unexplored history.

so i looked at fanfics cause i was wondering if ppl still ship it, then i liked the description of this one so i gave it a go.

Basically the premise is that vanya dates a much older man who seems to know a lot about her. And it was amazingly in character and just provided their characters some depth that u wouldnt find outside of a romantic relationship between them. (The implication of five pining while she doesnt know who he is, their missed chances when he time travelled, fives missed chances of living and having a 'normal' life bec of his own hubris, vanyas insecurity and being able to open up bec shes with someone whos known her since childhood). Its so sweet and thats how i was like, oh yep i can do so much more with these two, and what has kept me interested in drawing them etc.

2. My favourite things are the shippers cause i made some friends in the fandom who are super cool and supportive! I dont get super involved in fandoms and usually just watch from afar so finding people to talk to and muck around with in this tiny fandom is super cool 😭

Though thats not to say I havent come across some bad apples in this fandom and things that I dont like. I think thats the importance of carving out a place for yourself and ur friends in fandom tho.

Another thing I like about the ship itself, i just like the grumpy person whos soft for one person trope. Its so cute. I like all the little clues in canon on how their relationship as kids is quite warm, which is interesting cause five is basically the star student and he can be quite cold vs vanya who is the black sheep of the family.

I also like how five likes her powers even when she caused the apocalypse he spent the majority of his life in lol. Like its a popular hc that five is just a wife guy and i love that.

I see vanya as the type who has a lot of love to give, and she sometimes has unrealistic expectations of what her partner can give. Betrayal and lies really angers her, but also when her partner cannot meet her expectations of love she gets very upset bec its also an indication of how shes not good enough, or not loveable enough to be able to have this in the relationship (her insecurity means every failing always comes back to her, even if its out of her control).

I feel like five would be a level-headed person enough in the relationship to not be afraid to say 'vanya ur being stupid' (ie. the s2 confrontation lmao). Also, five's personality means she will never have to doubt his actions bec she knows hes the type who will not give u the moment of the day if hes not interested.

Not to mention they also have the whole apocalypse vs. saviour, hero/villain thing. Theres just a lot to explore!

3. I probably have several. But mostly I dont mind five being a dick to vanya bec first, even if the appeal is hes soft to her hes already kind of a dick in canon lmao. Also, vanya isnt a child. Shes grown and she can handle petty af things like five telling her shes not good at cooking lol. I also dont mind it cause I feel like people are getting too afraid to write... conflict for fear or portraying an abusive relationship or smth. Like, chill. Conflict is fine, resolving it is how u get a story. However in saying that, nobody should be obligated to write any way unless you want to! Fanfic is for comfort so if what your doing is making u happy then its good enough!

horrance which i also ship but i love the platonic and romantic relationship equally:

1. I came in tua in general not shipping anything so Im honestly not sure. I do remember someone doing a meta before s2 came out that was basically how ben acted weird when klaus summoned dave in s1 that made me go 👀 Otherwise, tua s2 rlly made me like them cause tua FED horrance shippers. Like..... the fact that klaus didnt want ben to leave him, and ben knows thats why he stayed 😢 or the fact that klaus was all over him for some reason???? Somebody also mentioned gay ben once and I resonate with that deeply. Like i get that jill exists but i resonate with gay ben deeply.

2. I love their bickering, theyre so cute together. I just like ben being angry bec hes self aware that hes got both shit and amazing taste. Shit bec he cant believes he likes Klaus (and also amazing also bec Klaus). I think the idea of them being kind of underdogs, theyre not rlly leader types and dont want to be, helps them bond together even in platonic horrance. They're both down to earth, and even tho they can annoy each other, they also know if they want a space to feel comfortable its with each other. Theyre not pressured by rivalry over leadership, or any sort of competition.

I love the idea that even tho ben is like klaus's ''conscience'', hes also down for chaos and bitchy. I feel like klaus rlly enabled that side of him, its not exactly a good thing but its p funny lol

3. I know some people think their dynamic is unhealthy but i dont care lol

alluther. So id say i dont ship this, mostly due to the fact that im not invested? Just like all tua ships so far I rlly came out not wanting anything but platonic relationships cause I feel tua doesnt do romance very well. With alluther, theyre so cute but im not super invested in either of their chars so they havent stuck for me. I appreciate seeing them and talking about them tho, and I'm def open to exploring them further.

1. I think tua canon romances are just so lackluster 😔 Idk who writes the romances but I was just like 'nice' but afterwards I dont really think about them. I love their dance scene and the message behind it! Otherwise, theyre sweet like most of the tua romances but im not super invested, same with all the non canon ships.

2. I really feel like tua needs to decide on what their relationship is. Like, just say its incest or not and stick with it 👀 Or if you wanna support it or not, just make up ur mind. I think I would've liked it better if I found the characters more interesting. Allison especially I feel like suffers from the fact that tua just doesn't want to make her ''mean''. They want to make her supportive and are less interested in making her flawed (ie. she should've had a conflict with Vanya in s2, but the writers didnt want to write the girls fighting which is stupid imo and not what that conflict is about).

In regards to Alluther, the scene where Allison gets annoyed at Luther for sleeping with someone else felt out of line. Like, how are you marrying other people and moving on but Luther isn't allowed to? But honestly, I don't mind if they actually just acknowledge it and make it a deliberate part of Allison's trait that Allison can expect a certain loyalty automatically from other people (which can tie in to her childhood being a star, and the rumour).

Luther is a big simp for Allison, which is sweet, but at the same time it would be nice to have him explore himself for a bit, and who he is outside of the academy. Then maybe they can rekindle their relationship again as new people and see where they go from there.

3. I don't hate them, but they're ok. I'm not super invested in them, just like all the tua canon romance. But I wouldn't mind making content for them if I were a bit more invested in their characters. I love their dance scene in s1 and I feel like its super a underrated portrayal of what their relationship is meant to be. I know no one talks about it but it's just such a great scene, and I'm pretty sure the choreographer was into interpretive dance? The scene had a lot of meaning that I don't see people dig around with.

Essentially I'm pretty sure the fairy lights are obviously a throwback to their childhood together, spending time outside of Reggie. So the dance scene kind of symbolized that pocket of space they made for each other in their life (even if theyre far away, or with other people, they will always have that space for each other).

The way they danced was more like playfighting than dancing, which means their relationship isn't sensual. It's more ''pure'', and romantic. Its basically two kids rekindling their love as adults. I also think this is a response to the incest, cause in s1 tua klaus literally said that 'thank god Regg is not their real father' right before Allison and Luther meet lmao. So its kinda like saying Allison x Luther isnt supposed to be 'ohh step sibling hot' but two people who experienced the same trauma as kids and finding comfort with each other (and rekindling that love after many years).

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

ok so we have seen over and over again people's assumptions about how gg main characters's instagrams would look like but how do you think their secret tumblr blogs would be? 👀

hmm! i just went over tumblr in general, because i don’t think all of them would have ‘secret’ tumblrs per say? everyone’s thing under the cut, cause it got SO long. i did not mention chuck because i don’t rlly see chuck as having a tumblr in any universe tbh - i feel like he would think it takes away from his businessy vibe or something.

dan's main would be something with a ts eliot url, like, a snippet from one of his poems, or it would be a whitman url, a snippet from a poem again (i see him with a whitman url of some kind & maybe his blog title is an eliot reference.) dan would 100% have the whole dark academia thing going in some ways, i think his blog would be organised as a grid, and he would reblog pictures of libraries, museums, occasionally of art, and also, quotes. so many quotes. so much literature. if you've been on tumblr long enough you know exactly the kind of blog i'm talking about.

dan's tumblr sideblog, on the contrary, would have nothing to link it to him. it'd probably be the tumblr default theme, pastel colours or something... i feel like dan is the specific genre of trans kid who uses a different set of pronouns online for anonymity purposes and then goes "wait a minute i like these pronouns BETTER". his url would be something extremely mundane and random like coffeeaddict779 or something, and it would be all #vent and #dont reblog. nobody who's following his sideblog knows what his main is, and vice versa.

serena would i think have one of those "be kind, do no harm :)" kind of hipster tumblr blogs, except she's incredibly sincere. she wouldn't have a sideblog, i don't think? and i don't think she'd attach her name to it in any way, probably just pronouns in bio and maybe a 'call me S'. she and dan would be mutuals on dan's main! her blog will be very, uh. aesthetic pictures, reblogs of dolphin videos and music and WIP art videos and anything else that'll catch her eye. she'll tag blair in fashion vids, nate in sailing posts, dan in literary stuff, and vanessa in film related/photography related things. she's having fun! every now and then she'll post a vent post but it's extremely vague and it's either something everyone who knows her irl already knows about her ('i hate my mom so much') or something that says practically nothing ('i am so worried about my brother and wish i could do more to help him.')

jenny's fashion inspo blog!!!! what more do you want me to say. she'd make it big in the fashion community and get anons all the time and she'd probably also have an etsy where she sells things she's sewn and made. everyone sort of knows she's an up and coming designer and she'd find a good community online hopefully!!! her blog would be something simple, with a url like jennydesigns or something (i bet that's taken rn, i havent checked) and her theme would be one of those themes that allows for u to have big images. she would probably post vents in the same way serena does, tag them #personal or #rambles, and have that neat code that allows for the tag to be filtered out whenever anyone views her page on desktop, you know?

i think eric would not have anything specific that he posts. he would just reblog random things - memes, things he finds interesting, jenny's original posts, stuff serena tags him in, cat videos, lgbtq+ positivity, etc. he'd try and stay out of drama (i think he'd turn anon off eventually.) he’d also post a lot of music reblogs or links, i feel?

vanessa's main blog would be one where she posts her own photos and films. because she's professional about it, it'd probably just be @ vanessaabrams. she'd have a sideblog specifically for reblogging other people’s work because she wants to support other artists, and it would be vanessareblogs or something like that, and her bio would mention “main tumblr @ vanessaabrams”. she’d be much adored in the photo/film community and just in general, because she’s one of the few people who hypes up other creators all the time and leaves nice comments in tags and all that. every now and then serena reblogs vanessa’s photography onto her blog and it almost always blows up, but vanessa doesn’t mind. i don’t think vanessa would have a vent blog or even a personal tag, she gives me big ‘i wanna keep my business totally off the net’ kind of vibes.

nate’s blog would be a lot like serena’s except, uh, more openly wanderlusty i think. a LOT of ocean reblogs. every now and then he reblogs keroauc quotes from dan which the girls find extremely hilarious. he talks a lot about sailing and gets a lot of sailing anons. he’d reblog a lot of positivity (mostly because he knows his friends are following him and he wants to brighten up their dash.) dan and vanessa jokingly dm him weed aesthetic posts all the time, but every time they do he reblogs and tags it ‘sent to me’ or somehting like that, and they cant decide whether to be flattered or embarrased. i think nate would also attract a lot of anons who ask for advice and it is something he never expected people coming to him for, but he definitely listens and shares whatever he’s got to say all the same. he’s this blog who should be weirdly niche but everyone sort of knows him and likes him.

saving the best for the last, lol. i have SO many thoughts about blair’s tumblrs. 

i think she’d have a main tumblr that’s solely for classic film stuff (audrey! and more) and that’d be @ blairwaldorf, because, well, duh. i think she’d pay for a tumblr theme and get one of those really fancy and cute ones, like a floralcodes ms paint theme. i think she’d also have a sideblog that’s less serious, where she’d reblog things from tv shows, reblog things serena or nate have tagged her in, write her own meta for fandoms she’s in, just generally be a multifandom mess with a #personal tag but nothing too personal. it would still be classy, because she’s blair, but on this blog, she’s just a girl having fun.

and then she’d have a THIRD blog, a sideblog that doubles up as a vent blog. and this one isn’t linked to her other two in an obvious way, nobody knows it’s her, etc. on here she’d probably post a lot about her ed (but i think in a  ‘i am struggling and i want to bitch’ way, not in a thinspo way - that’s a whole conversation i have no spoons for, so let’s not go there), she’d post about her insecurities and worries but it would be extremely untraceable. she’d have a fancy theme on this one too, despite it being a vent blog. 

hm. now im thinking of the potential of like. dan and blair interacting super frequently on their vent blogs and neither of them knowing it’s the other person!

[narutowoah]

my thoughts on sakuras funny fake lil confession even tho nobody asked😐

OK. obviously it was wrong for sakura to lie to naruto. it was selfish, it was naïve of her to believe that the promise was THAT important to naruto. it was her ignorance and just totally like MISSING how important sasuke is to naruto personally; she didnt get their relationship, she COULDNT!

HOWEVER, can u really REALLY blame her? sai literally took her aside and was like Hey you know you put so much pressure on naruto bc of that promise right? which made her feel so guilty she fr started CRYING bc she didnt want to hurt her best friend. and also naruto did tell her several times like “i havent forgotten our promise!! ^_^” so liek. of course she wld believe the promise held some weight.

additionally, she wasn’t going at it from a place of maliciousness. she wasnt rubbing her little kunoichi hands together going hehehe how can i make this about ME how can i HURT and MANIPULATE stupid naruto >:))) she was thinking “how can i ground him? how can i give him something to make him happy and take his mind off sasuke so he isn’t hurting himself over and over for someone who continues to distance himself and cause destruction?” she knew naruto had had feelings for her, and she was willing to set her own feelings for sasuke aside to try and give her friend something to make him happy, something to get him to come home safe.

additionally, i dont think all of what she said was a lie. this is just me bc i like narusaku, but i mean.. she said things that were true! “you have never left my side, you always cheer me up. you comfort me. i care for you from the bottom of my heart.” she was blushing, she hugged him and clearly was saying things that were true to her feelings for naruto. i do think sakura may have had some degree of feelings for naruto, and had she told him earlier like before Pain, or maybe later, privately in the village, i think naruto would have been psyched!!!

but it was the timing that was fucked up. the timing and circumstances. naruto wasnt an emotionally blind idiot. she was ripping on sasuke, and also naruto had that hero complex. he was already insecure abt the fact that like. Oh the villagers love me now that i saved them, even though i was worthless as a human being to them before. and now to hear sakura bring up how he was the hero, and she saw him grow into that, of course he’d be hurt and think she only valued him now. of course that isn’t true, and i’m sure naruto doesn’t think that sakura only started caring for him after pains attack but still, it must hurt.

Also sort of interesting that naruto was like “i hate people who lie to themselves” but im like Oh but ur totally content and calm and happy and forgiving to the village for treatingg you like shit ur entire life and not even giving an apology, let alone reparitions and only accepting u once u saved their asses? Ok king live your “truth”.

BUT IDK i really liked this moment bc it was one of the only times kishimoto gave one of his female character DEPTH. like SHADES. she made a decision to lie to her best friend in a heart breaking way. but it clearly made her feel sick with guilt. but if she didnt, she’d feel horribly guilty for the pain and pressure she believed she was holding him under. she wanted him to be happy, safe, worry about himself, be present and back home at the village, and if she truly believed she could do that by entering a romantic relationship with him, then by all means she will lie and hurt and manipulate and set aside her own feelings to try and do that for him, and his safety. it was a mistake, it was wrong, but it was well intentioned and made her seem so human. she was self centered: literally Centering Herself in the drama and depth of sasuke and narutos relationship that she DID NOT understand, while also being self sacrificing. that is something that i love about sakura is that, especially in lieu of the LACK of crazy powerups she gets, she feels like a human yk?

[dantelionwishes]

I WANNA HEAR D'S THOUGHTS ON JEN'S QUESTION Spill the beans! You've even got me curious now!

“Do you think Rose is a good person?”

I’ll answer not just Jen’s question, but generally thoughts surrounding D and Rose’s relationship!! It’s gonna be long because I think about this a WHOOOOOOLE lot, and I seriously mean a whole lot,,, so read ahead!

btw, if you think Rose is a bad person and D hates him, that’s where you’re mistaken! IT’S MY STORY MY HEADCANONS SO IF U DONT WANNA READ THIS THEN DONT BRO HJASGJHASHJ

PRE-ETERNATUS, CHALLENGER ARC

Ive mentioned before, but D and the chairman had a fairly good relationship!!

In-game, rose is very interested in the player and talks to you a lot, so honestly not much changes here

D, in his challenger phase, is forcibly very loud and flamboyant. being overly animated and confident, he’s able to keep up with rose who likes to chat and banter with him 

When d talks to people, he KNOWS he’s being over-the-top, which is why he feels very awkward doing it (when people point it out, it makes it painfully awkward and embarrassing for them. Point in case: bede and Marnie!)

Rose finds him a very interesting trainer and observes D a lot. Its not hard to notice how hard he’s trying, but rose doesn’t point this out and genuinely moves along with what D’s vibes are as to not make him feel any more humiliated 

D is aware that Rose is playing along with his act, and thanks to this it really builds up trust like!! Oh the chairman isn’t making fun of me and genuinely finds me interesting and strong!!!! the chairman!! What a morale boost!!!!!! 

Again, its genuinely (funny and) awkward when D is being his over-the-top animated self, and its easy to point this out (which most people do, from his rivals to other trainers, to even gym leaders) but the only people who dont actively point it out AND act along would be his mom, hop, Leon, and rose! 

in addition, D has a pretty high-pitched voice so its easy to tell he’s trans?? He was worried he was going to be misgendered by such an all-important person like the chairman, but was surprised when rose immediately was just comfortable with calling him a “young man”

Another cute trivia thing during this stage was that they both are wearing shades for their “incognito mode” and D even gives the chairman some fashion tips for the next time he goes out!

It actually pisses off bede with how much rose and d talk;;;;;;  def one of the reasons why d and bede fight hhhh

The part of the plot where they head to rose tower, D was actually very against it in the beginning, saying that he could actually just try and call up the chairman if he wanted to! He tries and tries, but then starts to panic once he does in fact realise that something isnt right 

Even after storming thru rose tower and defeating oleana, d eVEN TRIES TO INVITE ROSE TO THEIR DINNER (MY BOY IS THINKIN: A DINNER WITH HIS FAV PPL!! HOP, LEON, AND ROSE!! the only one missing would be his mom) ……….but r-rose dismisses it with a smile, saying maybe next time…………..

D is a meek, insecure person who is easily broken down, so he really needs a lot of support to keep moving sO JUST IMAGINE this baby boy who puts trust in someone suddenly goes batshit and you have to defeat them with ur own hands????? Wowza. 

POST-ETERNATUS, NEWLY APPOINTED CHAMPION

OH BOY EVERYONE KNOWS HOW THIS FUCKIN GOES IF THEY REMEMBER MY FIRST POSTS JHASGJHHJAS

Ive already shown this via an illustration + a short Drabble, but its only after the eternatus battle that their father-son relationship is revealed

The game really doesnt show how serious the eternatus battle was, but for me: Leon was hospitalised for quite some time and wasn’t allowed to battle D until he healed up. At the same time, this gave D a lot of time to think about wHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED

I dont mention it, but this is where his gym leader au starts off from the canon timeline!! At this point, D is calling his mom or talking to hop or just locking himself up and is just generally in a panicked state where he feels like dropping out of the challenge, feeling overwhelmed with what just happened

ANYWAY IM HERE TO TALK ABT ROSE AND D but lets just say his Pokemon convince him to continue!!   

at the same time of his win, gossip went around quick and not only is D now very popular for suddenly defeating the unbeatable champion Leon, but is actually the “villainous” chairman rose’s son!??!?!?!??!! 

POOR SON BOY IS OVERWHELMED ONCE MORE, HELP HIM.

He actually escapes to the isle of armour + crown tundra as a way to give him time to think about this more (isle of armour: personal time for himself to think alone, crown tundra: chance to spend time with relatives he didn’t know he had) 

OK GENUINE RELATIONSHIP ANALYZATION TIME:

After becoming champion, he really didnt go see rose at all, feeling a plenty mix of frustration, sadness, anger, betrayal, but!! his feelings dont simply surround the “oh the adult I trusted was actually bad and lied to me“ or “wtf hes the dad who wasn’t there for me and is the reason why mom is alone how dare he” IT REALLY WAS A MIX OF BOTH HGHHGHH

But its BECAUSE he was close to him in the first place that he knows rose wasn’t just….straight up a bad person or a villain

The important part here was that rose and D were close during the challenger part, and our lad had a lot of time to think about how he was simply a good, misguided man

rose is very passionate about the things he cares about, to the point of doing anything and everything for them (ex. Awakening eternatus for Galar’s sake to the point of accidentally getting darkest day, or even working hard for Miriam’s sake to the point of accidentally never being there for her anymore) 

Yeah, d talked to a whole lot of people to think this over. He learned what happened between rose and his mom while talking to her, and D also learned what happened between peony and rose to further understand what’s up!!

In the process, I like to think both Miriam and peony dont hate rose! D was also an important factor in helping the both of them realise and clear up a few things, and at least, in their minds, stay on good terms with rose 

During both DLC arcs, D is silent at first but slowly n surely starts sending small letters to Rose :’))

YAY ACTUAL INTERACTION????

After a lot of thought on his self-journey, its safe to say that D had felt a lot more comfortable, finally talking to rose after the galarian star tournament arc !!

Ive mentioned before, but its not like D has to start from scratch since they had a good relationship as challenger and chairman beforehand anyway

D wants a dad! He does want to meet his dad, and at the same time rose regrets not making time for his lover and future family, so I’d say after pushing away the initial negative awkwardness they do both have the same, genuine goal in mind to talk to each other and build a good relationship with each other!!!!!!

Ive also said before but like ONE OF D’S FEARS IS…..”WHAT IF I MEET MY DAD AND HES TRANSPHOBIC” YKNO???? So knowing that rose already thinks hes already perfect in his eyes, IT REALLY DOES WONDERS TO A YOUNG BOY YKN O ?? ? ? ? ?? 

Uhhhhh honestly I really dont know how jail works and shit sO LETS JUST SAY D VISITS REGULARLY IF HES NOT BUSY WITH CHAMPION DUTIES!!!

Also I have nO idea what oleana means by “WHERE IS CHAIRMAN ROSE” cos like….iSNT HE JUST VIBIN IN JAIL??????? Lets just say he is sdghjjhsdhj

TL;DR

D had a lot, and I mean A LOT, of time to think about Rose. He does not have any ill intentions or feelings towards him, and the two have a hopeful, slowly budding father-and-son relationship. 

[misterbitches]

i live in a universe where if i were to walk down the street i could get murdered willy nilly cos im black but men are out here going around being like “my boyfriend and i met when he was a junior in high school” i don’t believe in jail and i try not to make jail jokes but HOW IS THAT FAIR? JAIL!!! GUILLOTINE!!!! GET THIS MAN A RETIREMENT FUND AND A THERAPIST

that dialogue was fucking embarrassing. he shoulda just said “im 12 yrs older than him” no one needs to know u were 30 dating a 17 year old u insecure freak. retire bitch and get away from her

 i wanted muren so badly to be like “LMAO SRY didnt mean to seem surprised i just like men my own age i guess?” i wouldnt have even apologized if i was surprised. my friend was dating someone ten yrs younger than him and i made fun of him for it and he was like “i know” bc he does know.

just a tip: i don’t like getting hit on by men way older than me, a lot of people don’t. i’ve had men who are 36 interested in me when i was 23, and i reciprocated, but now as i am 29 and older i realize how much it confused me and how i didn’t like it.

age gaps are what they are. ther’es many times i do not like it especially if it is a pattern (this is what happens in tv shows and movies and the opposite of that isn’t gay age gaps or power imbalances or women much older than a younger man ok that’s not progress it’s just peopl ewanting to be like cis men and no one wants that) and esp if the person’s peers are all their ages. people seem to forget that we travel in the same social circles on purpose due to our environments and also our world experiences. the only way to meet an older man is outside of school and yet adults can’t seem to control themselves?

i saw this person who was one of the editors of sexual hegemony (a book on capitalism and homophobic laws and sex basically idk google it it’s interesting) and he was trying to have a foucultian outlook (i hate focault btw doesn’t mean what he says wasnt interesting but it does mean i am not okay with psychosexual philosophers who take advantage of people. the only testament against him having reltaions with younger people is a bunch of young people i nfucking tunisia and there’s an excuse that he wasn’t a fucking pedophile he was those ebebebbeopopopo people and it doesnt matter when ur in fucking tunisia as a white french algerian fucking preying on children) how age of consent laws desexualize younger people. they were passed for  abunch of reasons like any law but here is the thing

we have no business in being in spaces to determine children’s sexual identity and teenagers in their own realm. THEY need to figure it out. our job as adults is to PROTECT THEM full stop. not intrude on their lfe and not give them the tools to decide for themselves. age of consent laws are meant to protect not to facilitate children against some boogeyman of sex. the issue is the way our society views it but young people are sexual AS YOUNG PEOPLE. it has NOTHING to do with adults and it shouldn’t. that’s why it is extra fucking intrusive when you are literally wedged into someone’s life who you have no business being around. it’s only by fucking circumstance. it’s abysmal and not cute. 

what this tells me is that the age gap is salacious. not in the way that i was 23 and a man was 36. in the way that he was 17 and this dude was 29. that’s interesting right? it’s “oooh” and it means we shouldn’t balk at it. saying 12 years would have sufficed, raises some eyebrows, and we can figure out the dynamics after but you just had to put that in BECAUSE YOU FUCKING LIKE IT but the thing is there’s no part of it that was fun. i’m just going to assume you like fucking teenagers bc that’s what it’s telling me lmao

i rarely talk about this couple but to put them in my eyeballs and then have that stupid conversation it was insulting lmao god please get a fucking script supervisor fuck but none of them care about sotry or any of what i fucking laid out. how stupid and careless and just unfun. i don’t like it. also ew at the idea of 2 tops and 2 bottoms talking oh my god i am gonna give myself a heart attack i’m already so fucking anxious i have to see my family lemme chill

im 29 and feel bad having a crush on a 23 year old CELEBRITY ok and i SHOULD feel ashamed and it’s not even a big deal that’s how everyone should approach life tbqh u walk around like ur 100 yrs old to avoid children. oh what’s that this korean cebrity learned english and moved to america to start a family with me and i find him very hot and i like his voice but we’re 6 years apart i’m not sure if i would work (how fun of a drama would that be. pointless and ridiculous. i love it.)

oh there’s a great review on CMBYN and its history and how the isolation and seeclusion was so fuckign capitalist bougie patriarchy and yea idk if anyone is interested. i think it’s ironic the ending for the people in CMBYN irl bc it’s just. so indicative of this shit. i dont like guadignino (idk is that how u spell his name) and think he’s not a great....person or director (i love the look of suspiria tho likke visually and edited. the DP was thai btw! he did an amazing job!!!) but it critiques this film from a perspective of someone who clearly at least cares about artistry, no matter how poorly i think he executes it, and just how hollow it is. the thing about “escapism” is that it relies on the harsh realities of the world to make it opposite, everything has context, nothing is apolitical. to make something that exists in a vacuum is negligent and it doesn’t help you escape it makes you even more tied to this world and its flaws because it doesn’t do anything to mitigate it.

people view it as like “we can put something stupid on screen and people have to accept it in this world” but that isn’t how IT WORKS. you hvae to build up the stakes of the world. but i can’t see introducing some “taboo” (see: stupid) elements and pretending the escapism is seeing this and allowing it. how could it be when the problem is the nature of the rship itself? what world are you taking us to? and why does this world ignore the pressing realities? and i wouldnt say either of these are explicit escapism (i think i hate that word now) becuase um they arent. this fantastical generally rich people escapism isn’t about bending things that don’t work to mold it into our society because WE DO THAT ALREADY it’s about taking those things and twisting them to something we can accept and like or something that has real consequences for people. it’s so funny how marketing and the idea of pc culture and shit and conservative ideology seeps into these. they have  an explicit interest in holding the status quou of taking advantage of people and using their power; age is a huge structure to do so. in this society when we struggle why would its existence not be challenged? because rape, ridiculous rships, abusive rships, torture etc is a power move, conservatives rest on it and people who gain power. what about that is appealing? making it gay? well, no. especially because men DO have power. 

every fucking thing in BL is a reflection of of patriarchy honestly. i can admit that and i’m not okay with it but it’s consumption. there’s a way to make this decent or entertaining without it being so fucking poorly done. and atp i dont even want to call things bl it’s a tv show just bc it’s for a certain audience doesnt mean anything do better idiots

[huearmy]

Not My Friend.

Summary: Yoongi is a ordinary house cat hybrid with an ok life and a huge crush in his ower’s friend. Even if Y/N always treated him lovelly and as an equal he is all insecurities and thoughts of  rejection about being a hybrid, without imagining that the feeling can be reciprocal.

Pairing: cat!Yoongi x human!Reader

Genre: FLUFF, angst,  slight smut.

Words:  3737.

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: not grafic description/mention of sex.

gif is not mine.

Yoongi was kind of pissed, slightly upset... Absolutely stressed. The lights and loud music of the club did'nt help,  the drunk people ingnoring him, dancing around him as if he don't exist, neither. Is unusual for him feel so bad about being who he is, but today is a day that everything screams that he is less than everyone and it won't change. He brought the last swig of his drink to his lips, sad that he could'nt get another one alone, and for the sake of his pride he would'nd ask to Namjoon.

Is also unusual for Yoongi to argue with his friend and brother Namjoon, but today is a day that things got ugly. "You know that I love you hyung. For me we are equals, but is not like this for others. Even if my friends like you, they still seeing you as my pet.". It hurted. Hurts. Because is true, and Yoongi knows it.

And it hurts so... so bad... Because for a second he belived otherwise.

The discussion started when Yoongi thought he could share with his friend the feelings he have for you. You, the pretty human friend of Namjoon, the girl who is usualy at their house with no reason, the one that give the greatest pets ever and whose conversation is so good that he wouldn’t mind that you definitely lived with him. It took too long, but when Yoongi figured out his interest in you being a really romantic thing he was so happy he couldn’t keep to himself. 

“What do you think, Namjoon? How should I tell her?”

It's obvious to Yoongi that the negative reaction of Namjoon was caring, he knows his friend well enough. It wasn’t his intention to freak out and smash Yoongi heart.  He is trying to protect me. He told himself for the hundredth time, fighting against resentment. He discarted his plastic cup in defeat.

And there was you. The reason of his frustration. Oblivious at his issues, dancing with your friends. Namjoon's friends. Not his friends. His stomach droped.

Yoongi sighed. He can't just not stare at you. You are so beautiful to him, feeling yourself while dancing with your eyes closed, your pretty hair swinging around your delicate shouders, hips moving with the music naturaly - because you love dancing even if you are not goot at all. Another music started making you jump and sing. He almost can smell you now.

If he wasn't a scared cat... A hybrid cat... He would be dancing with you, talking in your ears, placing his hands on your waist and pulling you close, maybe kissing you... not only picturing it in his mind. But he is a pet, not a normal guy who you would like to flirt with.

He sighed again. He  remembering clearly when he first meet you two years ago.

____________________________________

Namjoon was a freshman in college, excited with everything new, the new apartament, new city, new knowledge, new friends... Every day he would enter trough the door, drop himself on the couch and speak his day out. Yoongi would listen, commenting on a thing or other once in a while. Your name was present in most stories, or the stories were about you. "I was trying to makes myself clear to the philosophy teacher when this girl spoke. She conclued my trought and argued for herself shuting up the teacher.", or "Remember that girl? Her name is Y/N and we get coffee together today. She is amazing, dude.", and "Y/N made an asshole cry today, seriuosly, she is beautful. She have that 'I don't give a fuck' atitude, you would love her, hyung". And Namjoon was right, as always.

It was on a day that Yoongi was feeling clingy and dependent of Namjoon's full attention but he was supposed to do a project with you in your place though. So insted of cancel with you to spend the day watching Netflix with Yoongi, the younger boy opted for bringing the hybrid to your apartament too.

“Dont worry, hyung. Y/N told me to bring you. Actually she was anxious to know you, she likes cute things you know...”

“Shut up.”

The poor cat was hating every second of it till you opened the door. You treated him as a old friend, greeting him with a genuine smile e tight hug.

"Enter you both and make the home yours. I bought snacks... And! I used that drive you gave me, Joonie, and already started the dissertation... You can revise if want to. It won't take so long as we through, then we can get fat cuddling on my couch."

Yoongi get unsure with you straightforward behavior at the time. But your focus was to finish your and Namjoon's work so he could get Netflix and cuddles as much as he wanted. You made coffee with cream when he said he like it and listened his complains about Namjoon breaking everything.

“Seriously is his third classes this year and we are in May.” Yoongi grunted making you laugh.

"I noticed it! Joonie always talk about you repair skills, though." 

"What else he talks about me?"

You laughed throwing your head back. You both were alone in the living room, sharing a blanket.

" A lot of things!” You said “That you are savage but actually a baby... That you are a good roommate to live with... And if I ever need a a good pianist, sincere advises, or help to hide a dead body, you are the man..."

"Oh..." 

He didn’t expected the two of you to talk much about him.

"And what Joonie told you about me?" You rested your chin in your palm. He take some instants to answer, and as if his brain are of jelly, it went terrible.

"He said I would love you."

Yoongi expected for a rispid response or for you to change the subject, or at least you’d laugh, somethig like it, but no. He would learn later how unpredictable you can be sometimes.

"And do you?" You asked in real interest, looking into his eyes. His cheeks turned pink, and you by instinct brought a hand to his hair and ears. You cooed "Sorry, Yoongs."

____________________________________

Thats right. You are nice to him... Gentle and kind... Always respectfull... You would enter his space and make him comfortable, or respect his distance when his not in the mood. Make silly things just to see his gummy smile and then pet his ears for hours. If any of your friends make fun of him you defend him and then make fun of them lighting the air. The fact of him being a hybrid never seems to bother you or changed the way you treated him.

He had hopes.

But he was just a pet... And you would never look at him the way he looks at you. Mesmerized by the club lights passing over your dancing body, changing color and pattern, he let himself sink a little more in self pity.

As if you could feel his dark troughts you opened your eyes and looked right trough his. His ears rose, tail moving unconscious behind him. You walked straight to him, concerned, ignoring every intoxicated person dancing in your way.

"What's wrong Yoongs?" You raised your voice because of the loud music. "Don't tell me that's nothing."

Yoongi licked his lips nervously. "I not feeling like partying. But Namjoon is having fun so I can't ask to go home now."

You seemed tipsy, he could smell the alcohol on you, along with that sweet perfume that you love and he hates, and your own scent that he loves.

You looked around, maybe looking for Namjoon, face thoughtful, wrinkling your nose cutely. Your tiny hand found it's way to his larger one, and instinctively he hold it tight. Yoongi love holding hands, especially with you.

Suddenly you smiled excited to him, getting closer to his face. So close he could kiss you...

"Do you want another drink?" You asked right in his ear, without get away an inch from him.

"What?" Yoongi asked, not understanding the purpose of the question.

Your smile spread devilishly.

"Dance with me, Yoongs. If you continue wanting to leave I'll get you home."

And then you were pulling him towards the dancing floor.

___________________________________

"Are you sure you want to do it?" His lover's voice got serious, eyes searching for his reassurance.

"I am." He answered not thinking twice.

His lover's smile were so pure and beautiful and genuine and happy that filled him of happyness too.

____________________________________

Yoongi woke up happy. He woke up in a bed that wasn't his. He didn't have to look around to recognize the room he was, the bedsheets were impregnated with your fragrance. The room was dark, the only light coming from a fissure between the curtains. He closed his eyes again, holding tight in a pillow and breathing deep. He still felt sleepy but couldn't stop his mind to revive last night.

You both danced and laughed and drinked and kissed. You made out in the club, in the Uber's backseat, in your couch...

He was naked on your bed. Things didn't stop in just make out.

Yoongi can remember clearly the view of your naked body in front of him for the first time, the lines of your silhouette, how it felt under his hands, so smooth. The way you took of his collar, never breaking eye contact, and then kissed him sweetly before riding him. How your fingers intertwined with his while he thrusted into you till you shake. Beautiful beneath him, repeating his name in moans in his soft black ears, nails finding it's way in his scalp. Your soft skin against his when everything you both could do was heavy breathing, too tired to even pull out of you. Praising him you kissed his lips again and held him close to your bare chest, playing with his hair the way he likes so much.

He never slept so well. Never felt so well with someone.

And then he realized... Where was you? Fully awake now, he searched for you under the fluffy blankets, finding nothing but your empty side of the bed. He slightly panicked.

His jeans were on the ground, beside your discarded dress, but his shirt wasn't anywhere to be seen. Would be a problem he wandering through your apartment shirtless? A ding caught his attention for a forgot cellphone under your desk chair. It was just a notification of low battery, but there were also  five calls and some massages from Namjoon:

[03:18 am]: hyung I'm sorry. rly.

[03:18 am]: where are you?

[03:21 am]:  I'm worried. call me back.

And then the phone died.

"Shit." He needed a charger urgent. Knowing his friend maybe he was already searching for Yoongi in hospitals, morgues and shelters.

He went to the door and suddenly stopped, hand on knob, the thought of calling Namjoon back totally erased of his mind.

You wasn't in bed with him unlike as Yoongi imagined his first morning with you. He should had woke with you in his arms, you would say "good morning" to each other in a meaningful way, then he would give little kisses in your whole face, treading to your lips to a real kiss, you would get embarrassed and hide your red cheeks in his chest... He woke up alone instead.

What if you regretted everything? You could awakened with hangover and regretted the one night stand. Or feeling awkward for sleeping with him... Or disgusted. And if you woke up and realized that you had sex with a hybrid and regretted?  It wouldn't be the first experience Yoongi of this kind. A disposable kink or drunken mistake... It would hurt...

No.

You are different. After the night you had together he could trust you.

Even if you don't feel the same as him... You wouldn't kick him out of your apartment... Or cut him off of your life...

Right?

"Stop being idiot, Yoongi." He told himself. "At least you have Namjoon to buy you beer in the worst case."

Music was playing in your kitchen, a amazing smell of eggs, bacon and something sweet come meet him in the corridor.  Yoongi found you humming happily, holding the door of the fridge open while searching for something.

"I'm running out of milk..." You whispered to yourself. Wearing a purple silk robe and your fluffy slippers you closed the fridge door without taking anything from inside. You did not heard Yoongi enter the kitchen neither expected him to hug you from behind, pulling your back against his chest, arms crossed in your waist. So didn't he. But you were so cute, with messy hair and being just your always self, his own scent still on you. His concerns gone, Yoongi couldn't help it unless be straightforward and reach for your touch.

You let out a yelp of surprise, grabbing his forearms, slightly sticking your nails on it. He chuckled softly at your heart rate speed up.

"Jesus, Yoongs... How are you so quiet?". You said with a hand on heart, already relaxing in his embrace.

"Sorry." His deep morning voice took you by surprise once more, spreading a shiver all over your body, making your silly mind remember the last night events, just to you get flustered. You were so chill until right now, damn. When you woke up facing a sound asleep cat, thigtly holding you close to him, you needed to hold yourself on to not squirm in excitement. Your fear was to make the atmosphere awkward between you two after being friends for so long. So you chilled up and planned to do everything right.

"You was supposed to be sleeping..." You scolded him, turning in his arms to face him, with red cheeks and pouting. "I'd take breakfast in bed for you."

Shock stamped up Yoongi's features. "Really?"

Your face reddened, suddenly the white wall was more interesting. "Really... I must treat you well."

You always treat me well, Y/N. Yoongi through to himself, but by your tone and the slight smirk in your adorable lips, he could tell the difference. "Ok.". He gulped.

"Since you are here... Sit." You said, getting apart from him. "I'll feed my Yoongs.".

Instantly he felt the loss of your warmth and contact, but at the same time he melted with the sound of your voice calling him "my Yoongs". Once you turned your attention back to breakfast again, he choose the chair next to the window, where there was sunlight and he could see the busy avenue  below - many cars going to somewhere, and people like tiny ants doing their own thing in their own lives, and the river running and shining below the bridge, on the other side was the park Yoongi like to go with you...  You were singing along with the music now, serving the table before him, your cleavage exposed by the robe - apparently you were wearing nothing else... Maybe panties too... He scolded himself, biting his thumb's nail to focus on something else, but then he noticed hickeys in the curve of your breasts and in your neck.

"Fuck." He whispered.

But in your not too large kitchen, you listened it clearly.

"What was it?" You let ou a nervous giggle.

"Nothing." Yoongi rested his elbows in the table, hiding face in hands. He couldn't handle look at you with the thought of biting and marking you and make you his and his only in mind. Last night he did so much effort to not do it without your consent, and even more effort to not ask, afraid of rejection.

You brought him back from his dreaminess, pulling him against you, petting his ears and hair. His tense body relaxed instantly.

"Did you sleep well? Need aspirin for headache or something?" You quietly asked, resting your chin on top of his head.

"No. I'm ok." He snuggled his face in the tender skin, scenting you.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded. You hummed.

"Oh!" You frozed. "Namjoon is super worried about you...! Like... He called me twenty-four times and left thousands of voice mails and massages..."

He licked his lips.

"I need a charger to tell him I'm ok."

You pout.

"I already did it, silly. I told him you are here with me, safe and sound, and that I won't give you back till you get grumpy.". He smiled and you mirrored it. Then you got serious, tracing his jawline with your index finger. "He think you are upset with him... and you really was not ok yesterday. What happened?"

Yoongi gulped. He can be sincere with you.

"Namjoon can be an asshole sometimes. We argued, and I disappeared from the club, my phone is dead so..."

"It seems you are giving him the cold shoulder." You pointed.

"I'm not." He finally closed his arms around you. " I just forget about him when with you."

Your heart speeded up again, making him smile.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Due to his hesitancy, you added. "You don't need to."

"He told me to not expect too much from our... His friends. 'Cuz most of them only see me as a pet of him."

You remained silent for a moment, and then sighed.

"We really have some friends that are... Ignorants. And we can't do anything about it. But there's Hoseok and Jin who understand that hybrids aren't different of humans, and is obvious for me how much they like you."

"I know... I know." Yoongi pressed his eyes tightly. "We argued because... being an hybrid there's limits that I can't cross... At some point I'll be repelled, even by Hoseok, Jin..." He gulped again. "Even by you."

You pulled away, eyebrows joinig in irritation. Your words sounded offended.

"Seriously, Yoongi? After years knowing each other, didn't I make my positioning and support to hybrid clear? Or my affection for you? For heaven's sake...! We had sex. How can you doubt..."

"It wouldn't be the first time of being the fetish of someone that thinks I'm not a man at all." He interrupted.

You shuted up.

The angry expression faded away from your features, replaced by shock and then sadness. In your absence of words, Yoongi continued.

"I was afraid you would regret last night... I even through you would cut me off of your life, or at least kick me out of the apartment..." He let out a mockery laugh, not handling to look you in the eyes anymore. "You will be judged for sleeping with a hybrid. And I don't want it. Don't want you being treated differently by anyone...".

You approached again, taking his face in your tiny hands, lovely caressing his cheeks with your soft thumbs - just like last night, and he almost expected for you to kiss him. You were being soft and caring, but at same time, firmly make him look you straight in the eyes.

"I'm already judged, Yoongs. A lot of people think I'm fool and talk about me behind my back." The voice that reached his ears was so soft now. You opened a smile of pure pride. "And I don't give a damn.".

He couldn’t break eye contact, he couldn't dare to blink and lost a second of the sight of you.

"It don't matter for me race, gender, age, sexual orientation... If you have fluffy ears and tail or not. I'll love and respect everybody equally. At least I try, reading about and listening, and learning what I don’t know. You can always tell me what you are felling or where I’m failing..." 

You have beautiful eyes and now they were sad again.

"I don't care about what those...bastards talk about hybrids... And I'm sorry for your past experiences..." You took a deep breath. Thinking in someone having the opportunity of be with Yoongi and choosing to break his heart make you sick. "For me you are an amazing man.".

"These words mean the world to me, Y/N." Yoongi said in his breath, feeling belonging as never before. 

"You welcome, Yoongs."

___________________________________

A lazy saturday came along after this. You both spend all day cuddling in the couch, netflix on, or sharing earphones, and chit chating here and there. When the hunger came you ordered take out and decided who would get up and pay the delivery guy with rock paper and scissors. Yoongi lost it, but you got up anyways to pick plates and forks. And then you were tangled under the covers once more.

Hanging out like this is not unusual for you two. But it felt odd for Yoongi, different from before, like it was the first time. Sleeply observing you scrolling through your social media, Yoongi conclued that If having sex with you didn't ruined the friendship you have, expressing his feelings probably would.

But Yoongi wanted be in the same page as you.

You were watching a video on Instagram, not really focused on it, with your free hand playing with his hair, making him even more sleepy. You could feel his gaze on you, but besides the butterflys in your belly, it doesn't make you uncomfortable at all. 

"Y/N..." He said in his low voice.

"Humm?" Blocking the cellphone's screen, you stared back at him. Your nose at centimeters from his.

He took your hand, circulating his thumb in the torso of it in a caring way. The gesture not passing unnoticed by you.

"I need you to know... Even if it isn't reciprocal... Last night had a whole meaning for me. I like like you, Y/N."

You stated at him in silence for a moment,  making the whole world freeze. Before the conversation you both had in the kitchen that morning, Yoongi would be panicking, already regretting telling you such a thing. Now he just waited.

Like he wanted to, you smiled. With your beautiful lips, warm eyes, and all your body too.

"I know, sleepyhead."

You leaned to him, he came to you too, no hesitation. And that's it. He was kissing you again. 

"We must talk about this reciprocity thing later." You whispered against his mouth.

Yoongi was kind of horny, slightly euphoric... Absolutely happy. 

___________________________________

So, I really hope you liked it, pls interact, tell what you think... I’ll be posting more if I have a good feedback, probably a witch!au with Jin :) kiss kiss pls I dont want to be insecure about it kiss kiss.

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

i feel like i start all my letters by saying “it’s been a while”, but like, it really has been a while

it was good for like a couple of weeks, but not a whole month. i was so happy w myself but now i just feel like shit again and i keep comparing myself to others. i see people out doing things that i want to do. people being what i wanna be

i look at others my age or not and i think wow look at all of their achievements and i just cant think of any i have myself

someone i know just began tattooing. i wanted to do that, so how come she’s doing it and im not? obviously im lacking in too many ways. my friends from elementary and high school got into schools/colleges they’ve always wanted to and they already made so many friends there. they drink every weekend and I don’t want to do that so im okay with it but they have friends and socialize as well and while i try to do that too, obviously im not trying hard enough. I say I'm ok with not having friends, and to some extend I'm ok with that too,  but then I see other people with their friends and I also feel like having some friends to dress up with and walk around to cafés with and such just have fun

idk if i want to drop out of school.

i hated the introduction days and cried like crazy every day and desperately just wanted to die. so eventually school “really” started and I loved it and felt a little bit complete or simply that school had now given me a purpose. i started putting effort into what i wore on the daily (I still do a little bit) and I lost a lot of weight and my confidence grew, but then I reached 60-59  kg and I feel like I’ve hit this plateau because I’ve been stuck here for a month even though I really try to lose more weight. I dont eat that much and never snack unless it’s veggies. I have started working out in the morning and at night

but I'm tired of school now because I feel left behind, I feel stupid.

the boys who sit close to me smell and I cant stand it.

I get up so early every day and the trains are always canceled or delayed. I come home late and am tired and not really doing anything. i have no hobbies. i dont ever do anything. that’s why school gives me purpose, so now that school just feels like a stupid chore with no reward or anything, i’ve lost that tiny bit of purpose again.

i feel that stupid life dread again

and just when I felt like I had gotten rid of it. i wanted to cut myself again. i haven’t yet because im afraid that my mum will see, or that it will leave scars. i already have too many.

my one friend only talks about boys and it's driving me crazy. like i really dont care and i feel selfish for saying that, but i feel so tired of her lately because truly all she cares and talks about is guys. we just have different interests now, but i feel so bad and annoyed every time still.

I see skinny girls everywhere and just get more sad and insecure about myself and i really desperately want to lose weight again.

i thought i’d have a metabolism day today and so i ate a bit more, i didnt binge, but i still feel so bad.

i want a smaller waist so that i dont look like a stupid rectangle, so I’ve been working out a little. it’s stupid that im disappointed that i haven’t noticed a difference yet, but it hasn’t been that long since i started working out so idk why im so sad like i just need to stay consistent and wait a while to see results.

I listen to subliminals at night and in the beginning i believed them and saw a few results but lately i feel like they haven’t been working. it sucks. i want things to be a certain way but things rarely work out just the way i want them to.

all i want is to daydream away again into a completely different world, completely different life, be a completely different me. it sucks because it feels like daydreaming and imagining scenarios is the only thing i can find comfort in these days.

it also makes me really sad. that it is only through my daydreams that I can be truly happy and for a long time at that.

i want to be another person

i want more achievements, more friends, would like to do something worth something, would like to look different, to be much wiser. i want to be a lot of things that i’m not.

idk

i just really want to find happiness within myself. i dont want grades, another person, a movie or whatever to make me feel happy. i dont want to depend on anything but myself to feel happy. because then im always just let down.

my mum asked what was wrong today because yesterday i was in such a good mood and have been for like september month but today I’ve been so down. i couldn’t say anything. i was desperate to say “mum, i’m just not happy” but i couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. voice inside my head was yelling at me to just tell her, to just say “im not happy.” but i couldn’t. im not happy and i dont know what to do about it. it feels hopeless.

but i guess it was nice to write these thoughts down, because now at least I’ve told you, and maybe i can start telling other people as well, my mum included.

love always

dilos