#happy early birthday to meeeee in the form of this post

[ayyden-apoloe]

ok im here to read 2 days late bc of sickyness :D !! godgodgod okaY SO thank you for actually replying omg im so excited waHhhh

readmore bc i got really autistic about this and its long aaaaaaaAa i love this ty bye

ooooourgh i feel like the walking in the dark thing could also be them both feeling isolated and looked down (maybe unintentionally) by the other guild members on for wanting to interact w each other. the gajeel side of that is obvious, nobody trusts him and they all think he doesnt belong and he cant blame them for that.

but with LEVY i feel like after The Incident she and droy and jet dont really ,, talk about what happened and seeing each other while theyre healing just makes them angry and sad so they distance for a while (maybe 2-3 weeks ? a month ? however long it takes them to physically heal) and then try and gloss over it w maybe the occasional outburst from one of them ((for that goodgood healing-from-trauma story spice)) and when she decides to listen to her heart and maybe give gajeel a second chance shes Scared and Confused and maybe a bit Ashamed, bc why should she even give this asshole the time of day, he tried to kill her family. when she says this team shadowgear gets into a fight. like a screaming sobbing awful terrible fight where jet is mostly just angry, he thinks levy feels she Has to forgive gajeel bc shes gotta be the bigger person and/or that if she Doesnt shes afraid of what gajeel might do in the future. droy is fucking afraid tho, he hasnt really had a proper convo w his 2 best friends in the world for a monTh and then suddenly one of them decides to let the guy who nearly killed them and made it a public spectacle just start ovER ?? what the fuck ! where did his headstrong and reliable levy go and who is this girl in her place ?!? and levY is the most confused of all of them bc shit jet and droy are right ! theyre fucking right !! whY is she sticking her foot back in that beartrap and why does she feel like if she doesnt her world will crumble around her ? (i think she doesnt handle anger very well she doesnt know what to do w all the energy and it just consumes her thoughts and she sits and stews) she Shouldnt forgive gajeel hes a dick and hes proven it and christ if jet and droy are feeling like this then how will the rest of the guild think, she already cant barely stand to be around most of them rn, theyve only looked at her w pity or a wince of pain for an entire month and she feels like she let everyone she knows down

NEXT !! (had to force myself to set that last paragraph down i have so many thoughts and ideas) i see your gajeel feeling like a fake and a mess bc hes not Actually a terrible guy and he doesnt want to be but fuck its all he knows to do at this point and i do the gif of the kid at the desktop nodding and doing a thumbs up, you know the one, i have no notes youre right and fantastic and SOSO smart

GOD YES DEMIROMANTIC GAJEVYYYYYY YEAAAHHHH im demiromantic and demisexual myself so i GET IT DUDE RAAAAAAGH :D !! when they first started talking a little normally i was like wait wtf this is going too fast, they should hate each other but then it grew on me. and i really Really like that feeling of gajeel and levy feeling forced and awkward and painful to watch interact for a while, its shows theyre human and you gotta have room enough for the original feeling of my the viewers' disgust to die down before jumping into even complicated aquaintance territory, let alone anything romantic [i have a bigbad hc about the SG getting beaten incident thats honestly really dark that adds to my thoughts and feelings on this but thats a whole entiRE can of wyrms]

sits and listens raptly and eats popcorn for the last few quotes bc yeysyesyes no notes, levy NEEDS to be her own 3d person who has issues and insecurities and and aND (hers is the more interesting side of their whole trust issues situation imo)

ANYWAY BITES AND TEARS AND RENDS AND CHEWS AND RIPS AND GNAWS AND AND AND AND !!! but yeah i also super get the fear of being soso invested in smthn other people might look at as weird and crying bc you Gotta share but what if people are mean waiLS ! so ty for actually answering w so many thoughts aaaa this is everything i couldve asked for bWAH im sending my admiration to you as we speak it will arrive in the mail by sunday

bore the shadows that you made, with no light of my own, i shine only with the light you gave me

sniffle sniffle …… gajevebebebeytt and this song … GRAH,, also an alternate version under the cut :3