#ok fandom exile i accept it...

[myloveforhergoeson]

Declan had thought that dropping Roxanne off at the airport would be the hardest part, but in all honesty, he hadn’t thought much beyond that at all. 

Everything had happened so fast.

One moment, bundled up in a blanket thanks to the December weather, she was sitting at the breakfast table, telling him about an ad she’d read on her radio show for a talent competition coming to Duluth, Minnesota in February. The next, she was hunched over her songbook every free moment she had, playing the guitar they’d saved up to buy her, perfecting her pop song repertoire. 

It was quite a ways off, genre-wise, from the songs he’d taught her growing up or the songs she’d written and performed with the punks who dared to call themselves her friends in Brand New Day. Roxy had always been far more versed in popular culture than he ever was and the portfolio she’d put together to stun Gustavo Rocque reflected that. 

And, just as he had hoped, his daughter’s hard work paid off. The last 24 hours had been filled with more phone calls and contracts than Declan had ever seen in his entire life. Negotiating a salary far too large for someone so young, setting up a one-bedroom apartment so she didn’t have to share with strangers, packing all of her belongings in boxes and into the back of a moving van making a cross-country trek…

Jesus, the thirty-five-year-old thought as he pulled his car into the garage. If Roxy were here, she’d make them wait until the song on the tape she’d put in was done playing, but Declan just turned the key with a sigh. I didn’t even ask about schooling…

Surely Hollywood had some rules about that. The entertainment industry was full of kids, some far younger than his teenager, and most of them seemed to turn out alright.

Except for the ones who didn’t… The Dad Voice in the back of his head reminded him. 

Taking his boots off at the door, Declan shook the thought out of his brain. It was too late to turn back now. 

Even if he did change his mind, hop on a plane, and drag his daughter back home, he knew it would alter their relationship forever; He could just imagine Roxanne puffing her cheeks out as her arms crossed against her chest, nostrils flaring the same way his did whenever he grew upset. 

The title she’d proudly boast about him, “Best Dad in the World,” would quickly be rescinded and swapped out for “Worst Man Alive” in the blink of an eye. 

For the last sixteen years, Declan had hated his parents, too, and understood all too well what it was like to have your dreams stomped at and spat on. To be so unsupported, even in his time of greatest need. 

As long as he was alive, however, his daughter would never, ever feel that way. 

That was why, the moment he realized they shared the same musical penchant he’d done all he could to help her talent bloom. Buying her first guitar at age six, showing her how he’d written songs for his band, driving Brand New Day - and all of their gear - all around Duluth to whatever gigs they managed to book…

When he walked into the kitchen, it was dark; Only the light above the stove was turned on from when Roxy was using it earlier. Flipping the overhead lights on, Declan felt his eyes drawn to the radio and cassette tape player on the windowsill. 

The faded red machine was ancient, but somehow, still worked like a charm. He’d taken it with him, stuffed precariously into his carry-on luggage when he’d boarded the plane from Austin, Texas, to Duluth, Minnesota alone in 1992. 

One week later, he’d walked into the shittiest, cheapest studio apartment he could find with his newborn daughter cradled into his arms. It was on that very same tape player he’d played Roxy her first song: “Roxanne” by the Police. 

Years later, on the windowsill of their first house, it played the first song Roxy had ever written on one of the local radio stations.

He’d never seen Roxy smile so brightly, bits of Oreo Fluff Salad stuck in between her teeth as the two celebrated together.

“Brand New Day is really going places,” She’d assured him, once the home-recorded tune faded out and into the next alternative hit, and Declan knew it to be true. “Once we win the Minnesota Battle of the Bands, some fancy label is sure to pick us up!”

It was then, that Declan realized Roxy wouldn’t be living with him forever. He just hadn’t expected the day to come so soon. 

When he took note of the trail the wheels of her suitcase had left in the beige carpet in the hallway leading to their bedrooms, the craving for the taste of a soothing cigarette hit him like a freight train. Technically, if he had one now, he wouldn’t be breaking the promise he’d made to Roxy to quit after he’d caught her and Dani lighting up on the back porch. No one would be around to chastise him, but it still felt wrong, so he managed to abstain. 

The choice just brought him to his liquor cabinet instead, eyes scanning the few bottles he had stashed up and out of Roxy’s reach to decide on whichever one might help make him feel temporarily better about his new living situation. 

What new types of things will Roxy discover in Hollywood? The Dad Voice asked and Declan silenced it by grabbing the clear bottle of vodka with a grumble. 

Hand wrapped around the neck, it felt lighter than it had the last time he’d brought it out to mix into some old, flat Coke from the back of the fridge. There was no doubt in his mind the theft was probably the last one pulled by Mag and Roxy before their big blowout right before Christmas. 

Declan was starting to realize, as dumb as it sounds now, that there was nothing his daughter hadn’t left her mark on in their home, and it was becoming increasingly, and annoyingly, apparent as he soaked in the true emptiness of the house. 

With Roxy gone, would it ever feel like home again?

[la-pheacienne]

It is certainly true that the show has done a lot to force an unbearable climate onto the remaining book fans, but on the other hand you could also wonder - why is such a large part of this remaining book fandom so hell-bent on fanatically supporting the most stupid, toxic ideas we have seen the show to embrace? I would say as stupid as these plot points were, few of the basic, broad ideas Dave and Dan went for were really things they made up all on their own. Mad Queen theories, the distorted view of so many characters like Arya and so on, these all were echoing things a lot of book fans (the type of milieu many of the people in charge of HBO's output were bred in) always WANTED the story and the characters and their trajectory to be, regardless how well founded these wishes matched the actual text.

The show was echoing bad fanon rooted in the book scene more or less from the beginning, you can trace it directly to how some characters were presented and castings were chosen right from the start. That's also why if you listen more closely to so many of the less bearable people in the book scene, the REAL problem so many of them had with the ideas of the latter parts of the show was that it was done in such a way that the public thought it was trash and didn't accept it. The whole agenda of them is now hoping for the books to emerge as some better written version of the show that finally will convince them all that this worthless trash story that is ironically only loved and wanted by these people alone is actually the correct version of it and its characters everyone should finally accept and digest. As ridiculous as the show was, ironically the most ridiculous parts of it were in truth clumsily made fan service for the worst sentiments that were peddled by and nurtured within the book fandom.

Oh, for sure. Thank you for this ask because you have put into words something that has been turning in my head for a long time.

the REAL problem so many of them had with the ideas of the latter parts of the show was that it was done in such a way that the public thought it was trash and didn't accept it.

After almost a year on tumblr and observing the book fandom and reading the BNFs' metas and theories and fanons and briefly delving into reddit and twitter god forbid, I have to say that I agree with you. I can't say how it was in the past though, I wasn't here. But I am afraid it is exactly as you say it is. I mean, Dany's arc from a hero to a fallen hero to a villain because *she watched her abusive brother die without an emotional reaction, psychopath!*, Jon just randomly exiled beyond the Wall because *subverting expectations*, none of them becoming King/Queen of the Seven Kingdoms/KINT, not even BRIEFLY, not even during the War for the Dawn (ok Jon did), because *throne bAAAAD*, *they're not heroes no one can fix Westeros*, *monarchy bAAAAD*, *subverting expectations*, Sansa getting girlbossified because *subverting expectations*, all of these points that ****supposedly*** sucked in GoT, are the exact same theories shared by a very big and very loud part of the BNF here, if not the majority.

So, what exactly is the internet fandom's problem with the show? Is there any? I literally can't see it, except that it was done too quickly and thus made these stupid theories appear even more stupid than they initially were. I've seen a LOT of posts saying like "oh you should stop wishing for your fav to get the throne, no one will get the throne and no one is 'in the right' (especially in the fire and blood discourse), no one 'deserves' it, the throne will crush and burn, the show has done so much damage to the fandom pitting favs against each other for the throne" etc etc, but that's so funny to me because what they say will happen in the books is literally what happened in the show, at least roughly, and their vibe was the vibe of a huge part, if not the majority, of the show fandom. This super annoying nihilism that I see in (book) BNF right now is the exact.same.nihilism I remember from the show fandom. The exact same one, but with a faux-feminist rosey Stansa touch. That's it. From the "Your heros will not get the throne, losers, Littlefinger will kill them all and prevail, the end" show-only dudebro rationale we went to the "oh nobody can fix Westeros, Dany and Jon will sacrifice themselves (best case, worst case Dany will get all psycho like her daddy and bros), monarchy Targs BAD, Targ feudal system BAD, fuck the Targ lords, team small folk, only coincidentally my fav bbgrl Sansa will actually end up in a conventional and strictly feudal position of power uwu, the end". The common denominator? Nihilism and this obsession for subverting expectations. This parallel is even funnier with hotd, where the show's most non-sensical, straight up delulu plot points are whole-heartedly embraced by, again, a big and very loud part of the BNF (probably the majority). This time the concordance is direct and not even denied, and it's embarrassing when I see their half-ass attempts at criticizing the show, because they literally can't. They actually love it and it's so obvious.

So to get to your point, there are two possibilities here: either the show's nihilistic, faux-edgy, shock value-based direction irrevocably transformed the book fandom, or the book fandom was already in that mindset and the show was based on that and it could very well be the latter.

[esther-dot]

'Why are Aria stans so obsessed with her becoming QITN and write increasingly deranged metas about that happening?'

So, ok, as someone that watched this shit unfold in realtime back in 2019 let me jump in. Aria fans are now fixated on QITN being her endgame because it was Sansa's endgame. Her stans are like toddlers. You know when a toddler hates apples but then sees a fellow toddler at the playground eating apples so now they want an apple too? Yeah, this is literally what is happening. Trust me if Sansa never became QITN and instead become Lady of the Vale or something Aria stans would want that for her endgame too. I'm sorry but Aria was a literal book fan and show fan fave and there would be weekly viral tweets with tens of thousands of likes praising how BaDaSs she was for 8 years and her fans think that GRRM told D and D Aria became QITN in this triumphant moment and they were like '.....Nah, we're going to give that to Sansa who half the fanbase spent close to a decade hating on....thanks for the input tho George.' Like, really? Really?

This is how I know all those endgames came from Martin. Fan fave Jon gets exiled North and White Soccer Mom Feminist icon KhAlEesI goes dark, carpet bombs a city, and gets killed by another fan fave and people think this shit came from D and D? It killllls me how half the fanbase is still committed to this fiction that D and D just totally pulled those endings out of their ass. It makes no sense.

D and D knew all they had to do to stick the landing on GOT for it to be hailed as one of the best shows ever on television was to give Jon and/or Dani some triumphant coronation after defeating the Evil Queen Cersei and that shit would have been praised by every normie that watched GOT for a decade and their legacies as good, or at least competent, showrunners would have been secured. But they had to stick with those endgames to make GOT still seem like an adaptation of Martin's vision. I would have loved to be in on the meeting where Martin told D and D 'So, yeah it's King Bran, Dani goes dark and Jon kills her, Jon then goes back beyond the wall, and Aria goes off columbusing into the new world....btw, I'm not finishing the last two books so even I don't know how to get to those endpoints. Have fun!!' D and D knew they were fucked in that moment lmao.

(about this ask)

Lmaoooo. Can you imagine? So funny.

Someone said shortly after GoT ended that D&D should have just taken the story in their own direction because their interpretation of the characters and the plot points were so misaligned by the end that even if you accept the endgames as Martin's (which I do), you just can't wrap your mind around them in GoT-verse. And I think if they had, they would not have had Jon or Dany on the throne, so the possibility amuses me. They probably would have had Cersei kill them and stay queen or something😂 I think they're personally too into shock value to have ever been down for a HEA for anyone except a Lannister!

Everyone I knew who watched GoT loved Arya (I did too!), but I have seen comments about her being underappreciated by the fandom which baffled me. I guess it's because her endgame wasn't in political power, so the theory is she didn't get what Martin intended for her because D&D were doing fanservice, but that makes no sense. Sansa was hated, Bran had no fanbase to speak of, Dany would have ended up on top if that was the only factor. Oh well. I think most people reject part, if not most, of the endgame, so I guess I can't act shocked. Jon's ending hurts me a lot, so his is where I allow myself to dabble in a little delusion. My poor boy.

[nommingonfood]

I like Keefe, but the reality is that when you put Fitz and Keefe side by side, Fitz is the lesser of two bad options. The way they act is intuitive of their family life.

Fitz has a great support system. His brother, Alvar, is a literal terrorist and kidnapper, but his parents still accepted him back and do love him. So it is safe to say Fitz essentially has a good fallback if things go to shit. I think the reason the fandom dunks on him so much is that when he was angry, most of it was directed towards Sophie. Losing his dad in exile, his dad's sanity breaking, Sophie's unmatched situation, Sophie's reluctance to share who her birth mom is, etc. Some of these things are valid to be mad at, but they're out of Sophie's control (she was set up to take Alden to exile, and she didn't ask to be born). The problem is we don't see what happens after, where's the groveling, apologizing, the rebuilding of the friendship. Why do Sophie and Fitz get to be cognates again after all the horrible things that were said and done.

Keefe has no support system. We're shown his parents are terrible, and he wasn't that close to Fitz before came along Sophie despite them being best friends. Keefe is stuck on a survivalist mindset. So when he does things like runaway, it throws everyone into a panic, but in the end, he's left alone to fend for himself. Everyone in Stellarlune was like, "Yeah, I'm worried for him, but it's Keefe, he'll do fine." and I'm over here like "No, but ok." The reason I like Keefe for Sophie is because of his understanding. Sophie is the human elf, but everyone glosses over that. She grew up in a different culture, and whenever her views are mentioned, the collective reaction tends to be "That's nice dear." like no process what she said as well. So when Sophie has a problem Keefe is there listening, supporting, trying to understand, and most importantly not getting mad at her.

To be for real though, Shannon needs to focus on self-love, friendship, and the parental relationship more than anything else. Like the relationships that aren't romantic love are secondary, and there's a lot more to be explored. Anyways, thank you for reading if you made it to the bottom.

I think the key difference between Fitz and Keefe’s trauma responses is that Fitz is aware and ashamed of how his behavior affects those around him, while Keefe fully believes he is only being self-destructive when in fact his behavior is equally if not more destructive to those around him.

[ukiyokki]

mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good

a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)

this took way to fucking long... i’m tired

below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.

Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame

(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.

Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe

(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)

Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon

(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.

Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)

(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.

GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg

(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.

Protected (completed) by aenqua

(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut

The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo

(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.

The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu

(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).

This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo

dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.

Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo

(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.

TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm

techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.

It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear

dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).

Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha

(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.

Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea

(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.

Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice

george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.

roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu

laser tag. 10/10

solar system (completed) by quartzfia

(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.

Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic

ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.

Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier

(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.

00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams

(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.

Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy

(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.

Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana

(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?

The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice

(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.

Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake

(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.

Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound

(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.

Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms

george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.

lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP

(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.

Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart

(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.

Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles

(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.

living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh

(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.

Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea

i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.

thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills

(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).

All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001

(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*

online love (completed) by andbutso

(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom

Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams

dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing

dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat

george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god

Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)

The color orange (completed) by anon

(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset

Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears

they’re dads :,)

Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes

(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete

Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine

(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.

Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter

(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect

When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo

(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.

Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice

george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)

Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice

(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)

Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies

dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.

Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon

when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.

Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias

(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.

seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).

Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser

(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.

the waves (completed) by anon

(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.

The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)

(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.

last updated February 6th, 2021

[mummer]

I don't think it made them look good to be honest and Rhaenyra was still fine with killing him, the only reason they didn't is because Daemon offered another option. I don't think the show needs to explicitly spell out bad deeds are bad, either way fandom will do what it does so you shouldnt really make this for the lowest common denominator

yeah and see i do completely agree with you— i like the choice and i like the moral ambiguity— but i just think that the writing of the laenor twist was just kinda unclear in general wrt their motivations. is it intending to show their moral ambiguity? if so then that feels at odds with rhaenyra having a whole scene earlier in the episode where shes like ITS OK laenor LOVE IS LOVE i accept you for JUST WHO YOU ARE its OKAY TO BE GAY <33333 which feels like theyre trying to set up laenor’s exile as a kindness because she cares about him? otherwise what was the purpose of that scene? and what was the purpose of laenor saying he wants to stay with rhaenyra and be with his family? ive seen like 30 completely different and opposing interpretations of what *actually happened* bc daemon and rhaenyra’s entire discussion about what to do with laenor had to be written with as much double meaning as possible to preserve the twist. leaving a lot of questions unanswered. like... how does laenor feel about it? we dont know! some people thought it was originally planned as a murder but qarl intervened. some people thought laenor was super happy to abandon westeros and obviously agreed to the plan ahead of time (which would feel inconsistent with his earlier scene?). did rhaenyra feel troubled about doing it? was she completely chill about it? why would daemon want him alive? we dont see any of this! and the story moves so fast that any emotional ramifications will probably not get any exploration. so like my problem is not with the choice itself but with the writing around it being kinda weak and unclear, if that makes sense? idk hahaha

[jjkyaoi]

ok tbh i thought it was just a dsmp fandom thing but in general why is it so common for people to like. shit on traumatized characters when they don’t behave,,,,in a docile way. like, i’ve seen way more acceptance and love for characters across the board when they’re portrayed as meek little uwu sad stereotypes that can’t do anything on their own, and yet there’s not nearly as much sympathy for characters who lash out and toe the line for what is and isn’t “acceptable” when they’re traumatized. like….why is it such a common thing that people are so ready to back up a character when they’re docile and meek from being traumatized and yet not when their trauma responses r they exact opposite. when it’s angry, and real, and they can’t be babied. like….if you only wanna deal with people who have trauma when they’re docile and easy to baby and yet don’t want to put up with any of the other signs that aren't that, then im gonna nave to ask you to to stay the fuck away from me loool /nbh

and its not even like— you dont even have to excuse somebody's shit actions, thats not even the point of what i’m saying, i’m just saying be a decent fucking person and maybe don’t give up on people when they’re hurting, in general, and when you can’t baby them?? maybe stop the double standards because it’s fucking weird?… man, the amount of people i’ve seen in the dsmp fandom—and it’s not just in the dsmp fandom but i’m a fucking dsmp blog so whatever—sympathize with traumatized characters and be apologists for them when they’re acting meek, and yet turn around the second it doesn’t stay that way— the second the character exhibits what they could determine as ugly behavior and start slandering them?? like, let’s fucking take c!tommy for example. during exile there was so many people sympathizing with him, there was so many people defending him and watching his streams and making sad posts about the horrible shit he was going through, because yes it was horrible, and yet the second the aftermath of doomsday happened— the second tommy “betrayed techno”— which he didn’t even do , but i’m not gonna get into that, that discourse is genuinely the bane of my fucking existence— it was like everyone suddenly dropped their sympathy and started bashing on the kid. there was animatics that were taking tommy’s words and actions completely out of context, mind you, and making it all about techno—making him seem Way more fucking sympathetic, there was war in the lore vods of tommy’s raging on his character for betraying techno, any doomsday animatic that didn’t even involve the betrayal scene whatsoever it would be brought up, my fucking fyp was flooded with that content and i had to search for people with common sense and this shit still goes on, i’m still seeing c!techno apologists bring it up, i’m still seeing doomsday discourse in fucking youtube comments, and it’s like. y’all really let go of any sympathy you had for c!tommy the second he made a mistake. and for the life of me i can’t fucking understand that

it’s so weird to me. do y’all not…comprehend that people make mistakes and hurt others when they’re hurting and just because they do that they’re not satan himself and they can, i don’t know, redeem themselves?? does it not click in y’all’s heads that not everybody’s going to be meek when they’re hurting??? lmao what kind of one dimensional thinking… and it’s funny because the thing that sparked this post was the fact that i, once again, saw fucking doomsday discourse on twitter and saw people still bashing c!tommy for something that happened months ago and it’s just. y’all really can’t let this shit go.

doomsday discourse is the bane of my existence, y’all sympathizing with traumatized characters until they make a mistake is the bane of my existence, eat shit, thank u for coming to my ted talk

[thistlecatfics]

Ok the thoughts are still percolating but I finished s2, and oh boy was it cute, and I teared up multiple times. (Maybe it’s just the old gay in me but the teachers?? the teachers??? god they were so cute.) 

I understand why it’s very much baddies are bad and goodies are good and politics don’t exist (it’s literally children’s media), but it still feels deeply wrong to me personally, and it feels icky to present these Good Queers as only victims and then the Bad Guys as only Baddies, because I think it adds to this perception that the only people who are deserving of love, connection, and community are those who are 100% perfect, and so there’s both this rise in anxiety disorders (because we’re all aware we’re not 100% perfect and that we’ve gotten things wrong and hurt people) and also in an inability to manage conflict at all within community (because someone telling us that we hurt them means we’re Bad and Exiled or that we have to self flagellate for the appropriate amount of time so it’s impossible to tolerate). BUT I also get it’s wildly unfair to put that on a (children’s) tv show. 

I genuinely liked the exchange between Ben and Charlie at the end but it felt weird that the show credits described it as Ben “pressuring” Charlie to forgive him when it felt like a fairly realistic and genuine and admirable apology? I appreciated Charlie’s response (which also hit home for me as someone who was in a similar enough situation in college), and the rainbow waves lapping at Ben’s feet were brilliant but... idk it still makes me very uncomfortable that Ben is presented as such an irredeemable villain and is accepted in the fandom as such. 

Anyway! I have a few scattered notes for a potential Ben/Harry fic now lol. 

two things, one, i would wait till you've watched all of s2 to get a better understanding of ben's character, no spoilers ofc and you can do w/e you want, but just a recommendation from someone that's alr finished :)

two, what exactly makes you uncomfortable vis-a-vis the show's politics? i think i'm in a bubble of heartstopper superfans atm and i'm curious about your perspective xx

Hello! I've been thinking all day about this show lol, and I hope I can finish it tonight after I finish up work.

tbh I've seen enough spoilers for the show that I'm not sure if there's anything that's going to change my perspective in the last few episodes but we'll see! It may push me to write this Ben-sits-at-a-pub-across-the-street-from-a-gay-bar fic or it may totally dissuade me from doing that.

Re: the politics of the show in general. Happy it exists! Lovely cast! Lots of fun, and I see why it's so healing for so many people. Not everything needs to be for me specifically as a millennial dyke!

A couple unfinished things that have percolating in my brain:

Sexuality as identity vs sexuality as experience (the show seems to portray sexuality almost entirely as an identity which you discover, not as a social position you experience related to your own desires) (it feels extremely tumblr in that way)

The absence of desire in general! I know much has been said about the absence of sex in this show, but it does feel strange that there's so little sexuality (as experience) in a show about sexuality (as identity).

The absence of politics in general! Like... the baddies are bad and the goodies are good, but it seems to be saying nothing at all about patriarchal oppression? Which is fine I guess. I saw someone say (about Ben Hope) something along the lines of "bad people can be gay, straight, asexual, and it doesn't matter." Which is not untrue, and it seems pretty clear that the creators of the show agree. But it seems to locate "badness" as an individual thing unrelated to power and politics, which is an analysis I totally disagree with.

This is maybe jumping ahead, but I'm sooo deeply concerned for young people who buy into purity culture and intense moralizing and labeling characters as irredeemable and undeserving of community. It just feels like a cultural recipe for increased anxiety and OCD and decreased ability to respond to genuine, political oppression at a time when the far right is doing some scary, scary things.

[numbernero]

some confusing but maybe not Ranting about dream smp;

I am gonna Get all mad again how Do people have such bad lore takes Bro i actually hate those ppl who dont get dsmp is a story,,, like it was fun hanging out in like early 2020 summwr but thats it

And no ppl cant just "stop talking about exile" bc bro what???? If a story includes a abuse and suicide plotlines, i am GONNA TAKE IT SERIOUSLY like GRRRRRRRRRR i am so mad at rhe people who Just dont take lore seriously but then they still talk aboyt it and post such isnane bad opinions?? like shut up!!! shush!!!

And i hate when dream stans r so desperately trying to find reasons to believe c!dream is a good guy. HE IS NOT. he is a VILLAIN. HE IS A BAD PERSON!!! ur fav cc plays a villain and a shit guy,,, ACCEPT IT. I dont see this type of behavior from wilbur fans who enjoy c!wilburs character. We all agree he is not rhe besst person and he is heavily flawed and be hurts the people around him and it cannot be excused.

Its just so SO insane to me That people can see a abuser character and tell me that him abusing someone didnt matter or that the victim deserved it ???? Like this shit wouldnt fly in any other fandom , at all. Grrrr.

Like if some DC fan said that Joker abusing Harley was ok and it doesnt matter and THAT HARLEY DESERVED IT, people Would straight Up kill that fan. ???? Like just because a story is told in Minecraft it doesnt mean that its not serious??? A story can be told in many different forms and mediums, miencraft is not an exception.

[drivingsideways]

Hey talk to me about your top three favourite kdrama women. What makes them special? What's a fic you would like to write about any one of them?

Mystery anon! :D What a lovely ask. 

I’m going to cheat a bit and divide my answer into characters I loved a lot, but do not want to write fic about, because I think the canon gives me what I need; and characters that I loved a lot but NEED TO BE RESCUED ZOMG.  (My fic writing impulses are 50% spite and 50% fix-it )

Caveat being that I’ve still watched only maybe a dozen kdramas, so I’m pretty limited in my knowledge!

Characters that I love a lot, but have very zero fic impulses toward:

Han Yeo-jin from Stranger/Secret Forest: What a delight! What an iconique character! Is there anyone like her? NO. LSY-nim gives us a delightfully complex character, and Bae Doona knocks it out of the park in every single scene, so I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I think what makes Yeo-jin special for me is the intrinsic place of empathy that she operates from.  I think “righteous” is a word that often comes with negative connotations (self-righteous, for eg), but I do think she’s one of the most righteous-in-the-good-way characters I’ve watched in kdrama or any drama. I’m tired of stories that portray goodness as “boring” , as unworthy of narrative breadth or depth, and I love that Han Yeo-jin comes to us like a breath of fresh air in our particular dystopian narratives hellscape. She’s good, but never naive. She’s righteous but never cruel in her moral certainties.  I think that LSY nim, in the second season especially, gave Yeo-jin the kind of arc that character deserved when she’s forced to really dig deep into herself to figure out how she’s going to live in the world in the face of a deeply cutting, deeply personal disillusionment, and I’m really hoping for an S3 to see how that plays out further. 

Goo Hae-ryung from Rookie Historian: Ok, I will admit this may be rose tinted glasses view due to this show being my gateway drug into kdrama, but c’mon! She’s a reader! and a Thinker! And loves her wine! She’s plucky! She’s cute! She’s got a wry sense of humour! She’s got principles! She’s got a solid common sense to her that somehow doesn’t get in the way of her dreaming BIG! Oh dear, doesn’t she sound like the Mary-est of Mary Sues? Good for her.gif,  I say! Anyways, Shin Se-kyung is unutterably charming in this (AS IN EVERY SHOW OMG GIRL) and I just have a huge fondness for free-spirited heroines who get to tramp through the narrative changing the world as they do! 

Lee Ji-an from My Ahjussi: I’ve never had my heart broken more OR restored by any single character. IU is *phenomenal * in this, I think she really stepped up to what the script demanded from her. Ji-an’s weariness, her fear and vulnerability, her prickliness, her anger and her bitterness, and how, despite everything, she fights : GOD. Just. Again, what I love about the writing in this show is that it’s deeply empathetic without being cloyingly sentimental. I think a less, hmm, imaginative writer/PD might have focused on the Lee Ji-an the victim, and while the show definitely tells you in no uncertain terms that she is one,  of both circumstances and a cruel society, I think it refuses to take away her agency over her own life.(Lee Ji-an when we meet her is too busy hanging onto life by tooth and claw to indulge in self-pity, but we also see the toll it takes on her not to be able to say “this is too heavy a burden for me to carry myself and it isn’t my fault”; the show I think approaches Dong-hoon from the opposite side- his emotional isolation is partly a result of his own choices, but he doesn’t see it yet, and so his journey is also about letting people in and sharing the burden, but also recovering his own agency over his life. It’s an interestingly gender-bent arc, which is one of the things I love about this show. )

Ok, can I please add one more?

Hwang Han-joo from Melo is my Nature: She just felt SO real to me. She’s someone who doesn’t have the spectacular brilliance of either Jin-joo or Eun-jung, and struggles with accepting her limitations but not allowing herself to be defeated by them? I love her struggles as a mother, as a working woman in a sexist industry, a woman who’s perhaps having to rethink and reimagine what she wants from romance. I love that she’s a little silly, a lot kind, and an optimist, and just. I just think she’s the bravest of the three, tbh, and I LOVE HER AND I WOULD WATCH A SPIN OFF ABOUT JUST HER (i shouldn’t have faves among the three i know, BUT I DO, IT’S HER, IT’S HER.)

Ok! On to the next section! And I’m going to cheat again because I can’t stop at three. SORRY. NOT SORRY. 

Characters I love and SHOULD write fic for if I weren’t such a tired and lazy bunny:  

Song Sa-hui from Rookie Historian: Oh, girl, girl, GIRL. I love how she fights to snatch her freedom from the jaws of the patriarchy. I love that she unapologetically centers herself while doing that, because she knows that nobody else will.  I love that she’s prickly and calculating. I love that she’s smart and knowledgeable. I am SO HAPPY that she got to carve out a little bit of freedom for herself, even if it also is exile to some degree. She *should * be Emperor Jin’s Prime Minister and steering the ship of state, while also carrying on a tumultous affair with Queen Min Woo-hee, while ALSO commiserating with Emperor Jin about his boyfriend Historian Min Woo-won’s regrettable tendency towards Principles (TM) and masochism-but-not-in-the-fun-way. (This takes up much of his time which is why Song Sa-hui is running the country, of course. It works out well for all concerned, well, except her dad, of course.)

Song Ga-gyeong from Search:WWW: What’s NOT to love about our brilliant, beautiful, emotionally tortured gay icon? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I loved how the show allowed her to be flawed and make bad decisions, and then allowed her to make better decisions and regain control of her life. What I do need to do, of course, is see the CANON LOVE STORY between her and Cha Hyeon through to the end. It must, of course, include at least one baseball game, a lot of tequila and messy beach kisses. 

Oh Ji-hwa from Beyond Evil: Oh boy, this year’s runaway hit cleared the extremely low bar for standard crime/ thriller shows by leaving more than one of its female characters breathing and with all limbs intact, and got called feminist for it BUT it didn’t do justice to any of them in any meaningful way and that never hurt more than in the way they sidelined Kim Shin-rok’s talent by not giving Oh Ji-hwa anything much to do. She’s a tough as nails cop, a loving sister, a devoted but unsentimental friend-and by rights SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE HEROINE OF THIS SHOW. My secret fic fantasy is to rewrite the show entirely by making her , and the two other female characters in non-antagonist roles- Yoo Jae-yi and Im Sun-nyeo- as the central characters, as they investigate a serial killer who targets women.  It’s the only acceptable version of this done-to-death (ha!) genre, I have no idea what the Baeksang jury and tumblr fandom is smoking when they hype the show so much, I want none of it. 

Jung Sun-ah from The Devil Judge: I love her rage, her spite, her passionate defense of women, her style, her sexiness, her rage, her rage, her brilliance, her tenaciousness, her smartness, her clothes, her refusal to hate herself for everything she is and chooses to be, her ambition, her comfort wielding power, her EVERYTHING. Dead, her? NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT. Here’s what *really * happened at the end of canon- she gets out of the building by planting that lady-like but still deadly gun against Kang Yo-han’s temple and making him lead her through his own “secret escape route” or whatever the fuck it was the show wanted us to believe. From there on out, it’s all sunshine and beaches, and scheming and waiting for the right moment to strike again-though of course, this time around, she also has to reckon with vigilant, tenacious cop Soo-hyun -another character who REALLY didn’t die for manpain reasons and had the good sense to leave her gay best friend to follow his psychopath boyfriend to Switzerland or wherever it is that star crossed lovers in kdrama land meet up on the regs these days- anyways, Soo-hyun and her are in this catch-me-if-you-can epic transnational honest and cute cop-and-beautiful sexy villain chase and yes, they WILL kiss (and more) AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS. 

*whew *

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

[ruby-whistler]

What changed your mind about Dream's character?

ok wait you mean in a positive or negative direction because my mind has been changed like ten times about the character so far

1. negative - i was very much leaning towards dream being a good guy during pogtopia after c!wil's switch, but then exile happened and i wanted nothing less than to punt him

2. positive - the finale just was that moment for me, when he was begging for his life, that was just. frick, he's human, i can't cheer this on, i can't deny that anymore he's vulnerable and now i'm torn and it was like,, the opposite of cathartic, which made the finale even more impactful for me, because it had the opposite result to the way i viewed the story - something just seemed off.

i used to hear about dream apologists and them trending #freedream on twitter and i was honestly very - confused? i didn't know what their deal was so i was like,, ok stay away from those guys

then my friend reblogged and dr3 thread on twitter, i proceeded to spend the next 3 hours in class reading all of the threads in their archive and being like. wow ok wait there's something to this

i started understanding c!dream more, even if it was from an emotional perspective - it felt very right for me to sympathize with him. i was going off of gut feelings and was driven by compassion more than anything else, especially thanks to the prison arc, although i was retrospectively changing a lot of my opinions.

3. neutral - ok, long story short, back in 2019 i was in this one small fandom that had a community discord, there i friended this person called "bluebell" to talk with her for a few minutes and then never message her again. for some reason, neither of us unfriended the other, and during those two years it was always like "hey, this person i don't even remember anymore from the tts discord is online" kind of just at the back of my mind the entire time.

then i joined the c!dream discord and the first thing i see is that very same person leading a debate about c!dream's characterization in one of the channels.

so we ended up talking again, both in the discord and in dms, and she explained to me the way she thought about the character - though reluctant to accept that any of it could be true at first, after many debates and clip watching i came to the conclusion there was something to the "strategist dream" interpretation.

then apple and bluebell ended up talking and there was even more content for that interpretation of the character, after which i ended up taking certain parts of it and integrating them into my own opinions, which lead to me perceiving him as more ruthless than traumatized when it comes to the explanations behind his actions.

and yeah that's pretty much a summary of me being flung around considering the way i view c!dream.

[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

[cowboypossume]

so i reread keeper of the lost cities and here’s my fresh input:

a note before we begin: you know how people fake throw up at things on tik tok? this book is the reason i now unironically do that.

dex and fitz really have the enemies to lovers troupe going for them and i’m ok with it. i really am.

so do sophie and biana at the beginning but it fizzes out so a better description is enimies to friends to lovers

marhella and stina give me such power top energy i cannot express how much i think that contributes to people not liking them

speaking of stina i wish sophie didn’t just immediately hop onto the bandwagon of “oh she’s evil” without investing further, especially with how much she is written as a ‘good’ person (which i can and will defend to the day i die that good people don’t exist but that’s for a different day).

there’s way too much heteronormativity and Patriarchical Ideas mushed into the book. like three hole pages of a 488 page book of teenagers being like “oooooo girls like guys and guys like girls” only for della to join in. not to mention the amount of times keefe is the reason for those ideas because he’s teasing like “oh fitz has a girlfriend”

keefe and fitz didn’t have as many bonding moments™️ in this book as i remember, but they stil know each other really well, have comfortability around each other, and would make a 10/10 best friends to lovers troupe.

oh my god s o many crushes i swear. like two teenagers of the opposite gender really can’t not like each other apperantly

i miss read a line and really thought there was cannon sexism for me to do a whole ass rant about in the notes part of my analyzation but n o p e

but we do have classism, sexist stereotypes, and the fact that there’s been SO many characters who’ve spoken and ✨🌺far too many of them are white🌺✨

oh also: no ones disabled. which annoys me because their society is described as ‘euptopic’ almost implying that it’s something that makes people problematic, which,,,, no

ok a side note on the society, i understand that the story’s message (kinda) is that things that seem perfect are probably deeply flawed, but something tergan said stuck with me. on a page i can’t remember at the moment he says something like “[the black swan exists] in a society that doesn’t have rebels”, which it suck with me bc that’s boarderline dystopic if it’s not there already. it’s one thing for laws not to be broken, but when you think your society is so perfect despite it having obvious flaws and you think that no one rebels, then i really hate to break it to you, you have a massive rebellion about to occur; it’s just scented as foul under your resplendent nose.

please stop flirting. i get its part of teenagers being teens but i swear if i read “s/he realeased a breath” or “their heart fluttered” or literally ANYTHING like that god no.

yall. i missed dex. he actually has more role in this book than ‘you can gadget and we need one’ and oh boy i really missed him. he’s a BEAN and deserves better.

hole’s said everyone deserves better and i absolutely agree so we’re adding that note here.

if you do what i did and read this book out loud to one of your best friends who has no clue anything about this weird fandom and give fitz a really deep voice for no reason it’s comdy GOLD.

i really think i’m reading too much into this point but iggy seems,,,, symbolic to me?

like ok with humans, sophie didn’t ‘fit in’, right? like she grew up hearing things like “why can’t you be normal like your sister” (which i can do a whole other rant about how that will affect her for the rest of her life just a s k)

not to mention looking really different from her family and graduating high school at age twelve 

but you know who never judged her?

m a r t y

so anyway sophie meets this teal-eyed, movie star smiled wonder boy who takes away her entire knowledge of everything she’s known while taking away her family too

and it turns out even in a place of weirdos she still manages to be the exception to everything

and she doesn’t have the comfort to hear what people are really thinking about her anymore (which as i said before say the word and i’ll deadass write a whole speech about how everything she heard will completely fuck up every relationship she has) which unfortunately means that she grew used to confirming people didn’t like her but now she doesn’t have that

she has to adapt to this new space and feel like she’s always felt, like an outcast in a place that was accepting, but yet again, she the exception to everything

but about halfway through the book she starts to become more comfortable around grady and edaline and that’s when iggy comes in

she finds him while cleaning garbage, and grady compliments her. they have a bonding moment and it’s because of this t h i n g. and then sophie actually feels proud not only does she take up a room, but she did something

and her new parents are proud of her

so she finally feels like she BELONGS because she helped out at the place where she lives/they work

to me it seems iggy is kinda a manifesto of the world building and character development that happens in this book

i think the plot/character arc is fixated a little too much on how different sophie is. like, i get it, she’s exception to everything, but the plot really didn’t need her to be that quirky. yes, she’s different, but there’s a lot more to the plot and her character than how different she is.

also, i had to reread pages a lot bc i needed an exact paragraph number and,,,, it’s really paced like a fanfic

some questions i have about the society is:

it’s established that they use books, physical papers, etc., and the only thing i remember about trees is the speech alden gave her about how she doesn’t know the name of their most popular tree, and the fact that people become trees when they die. even then i don’t think the second one is in this book. never o n c e do i remember something about planting trees that aren’t dead elf’s, so do they feel the affects of deforestation and that jazz?? like if they use trees, will they run out of them? can they??? and do they use the coffins of elf’s for paper??

this is more of a rant than a question, but here it goes anyway. in foxfire, students have a testing system very similar to the one in america: a huge test at the end of the year determines the future of a student. that in of itself doesn’t sound too drastic, right? well,,,,, not necessarily. several studies have shown that tests in general, but especially these types, don’t work. despite how good or bad of a teacher i think my past and current teachers have been, every single one of them hates this system that we have in place. they know it’s an unfair assessment that does it’s damnist to make you fail, and they’re trying so hard to denounce it. however, that doesn’t happen at all in the lost cities. in fact, most of the teachers pride themselves on failing students. so if elf’s are in such an advanced society, why do tests still exist? especially in an environment where the consequences are far greater than just staying back a grade. 

so sophie’s figuring out that major problems exist in the world the elf’s created, right? i wonder if more society structured problems exist more than ‘oh bad people do things and the law justifies which is what’. like, as i’ve previously stated, there’s sexist stereotypes presented (like girls like dresses and guys don’t), but does sexism still exist? does racism exist? it’s established that poverty isn’t a thing because of the fund elf’s have at birth and their limited usage of money (which if you understand please explain bc i don’t really get how they buy stuff but still don’t use money) but if someone gets shipped off to exile, do they lose their money? is it possible for elf’s to starve to death because they can’t afford food? do they pay for food?? if they did starve who would they call? because someone on this website, who’s post i tried to find but i couldn’t so if y’all know what i’m talking about please link it, brought up a good point that elwin is a school physician, he shouldn’t be dealing with the near-death experiences sophie has, so who would they turn to? especially if they don’t have access to foxfire because they got exciled??

is therapy a thing in this world? sophie and dex could really benefit from it, yet mental health has only been brought up when someone went insane, which REALLY shows how little they think about it.

that perfectly transitions into my next point: sophie and dex’s trauma. i really don’t get the vibe that there was much thought going into their kidnapping, other than sophie needed something to trigger her inflecting ability and establish the black swan are on the good side, which really sucks because wow trauma doesn’t happen lightly. and the fact that it happened seems rushed to me, but i’ll come back to that. but anyway, their trauma doesn’t get developed that deeply in this book because it wasn’t given the space to. they were beaten, tortured, starved, gagged, and who even knows what else for t e n d a y s, only for them to find them again, repeat the process, but someone saves them and dumps them into an illegal city and they both nearly die from dehydration, coldness, and lack of concentration, and you’re telling me after three days of conscious of bed rest sophie wants to get her failing out of school over with? ma’am, it takes more time than that to adjust to THAT alone, not to mention the realization that “hey your entire life is fake because people genetically altered you to be their weapon in a war so much bigger than yourself” that was recently dumped on her. like,,,, you really expect me to think that three days is what made her feel prepared and CONFIDENT? no sir. i don’t buy it.

coming back to it being rushed: the book starts out slow and then really hits the ground running and doesn’t stop. so much more stuff happens in the second half of the book than the first and it never gets fully developed it feels like. in the first half sophie moves away but gets a new family and struggles a bit but adapts, fires maybe but hey don’t worry about it, dex hates fitz, fitz is ✨d r e a m y ✨ but our main girl doesn’t like him like that, right?, stina’s a bitch, and sophie is a quirky girl and telepath but can’t tell anyone. pretty basic stuff, not too plot intensive. the second half though: sophie almost fails her midterms but doesn’t, grady and elaine want to unadopt her (which that’s never really explained as to why they do that but ok) fires exist in san degio but they’re fine but they’re actually a rebel elf so..., sophie accidentally breaks a law but it was an accident so it’s fine, update on the fires: sophie burns herself trying to get the evidence that it’s a rebel elf and it works, she’s the moon lark and basically a weapon bc no one knows her well enough to evaluate her safety, sophie and dex get kidnapped but fitz can now transmit to her and she has two new abilities so it’s all good, trauma doesn’t exist except for nightmare you can fix with sedatives, sophie doesn’t fail out of school, and yayyy her family doesn’t want her remove their adoption. there’s probably a lot more that i missed, it’s just that’s a LOT of stuff crammed into a little bit further than the second half of the book that really could have been devolped or explore further instead of forcing into less than 244 pages, ya know?

fitz’s eyes are mentioned seven times, the first time being on page TWO of the novel

his smile is mentioned three times

alden says “no reason to worry” five times, he writes it once, and sophie points out he says it a lot so he chances it slightly to something like ‘don’t stress about it’ so i didn’t count those though i should have

speaking of alden, in this book he’s absolutely creepy, but something that stands out to me is how much he calls sophie girl. i didn’t count it, but he said “that’s a good girl” to sophie too many times for it to be normal especially when you consider how he doesn’t do it to anyone else.

i kinda forgot i was annotating for sophie’s anxious habit of pulling out her eyelashes so i got she did it twice, but i highly doubt that number

but i will keep adding to this when i actually do the words with my annotations.

[keithsguitar]

No nuance November Rolling Stones edition

- Brian is overrated in the fandom. Ok no jones no stones but... they didn’t even experience their most successful and creative periods with/because of him... thanks for the marimba in lady Jane though love that one

- Charlie is the “best guy” bc he cleaned up for his family and didnt engage in extramarital activities and was a reliable father as far as my knowledge goes. He isn’t as popular just bc he’s not as exciting™ as the other fools and people value sensationalism over duty... but sex drugs and rock and roll am i right

- jokes about wondering how keith is still alive aren’t funny

- the little mick era was.. impeccable. Superior. Made them the successful legends they are now

- along with that, mick t and keith were the best duo bc they matched each other’s talent and creativity.... mick had the best solos

- however, they did fall into the lead/rhythm guitar thing... the weaving with Ronnie is chef’s kiss

- bill didn’t do a whole lot and was a groomer and has said gross things about women in general..... bill was the worst one. what was special about him? what was the reason??

- The Rolling Stones™ brand is so obsessed with selling stuff to fans....

- keith has always been the hottest. I will accept zero debate on this

- keith’s rotting tooth was gross but dare i say kinda hot

- Let it Bleed, Sticky Fingers, and Exile are the best albums

- Some Girls goes first in the tier directly below top tier^^^

- Keith NEVER misses with his songs... not only are they just good (as in not bad) but they are GREAT...

- it’s kinda weird all of them attended bill’s wedding with mandy.... and they never said anything about it....

- i hate the fact mick and keith wrote stray cat blues... should have been on a sexual predator assault list for a second because of that like goddamn

- the band was God’s work bc it HAS to be divine intercession that mick and keith were at the same station at the same time and recognized each other AND developed similar tastes AND were extraordinarily talented

- they should have collared with the Beatles at least once... i mean mick hung out with them in the studio for revolver, Paul was with keith during beggars’ banquet recordings, john performed at rock and roll circus, Paul and keith wrote music together, I’ve read praises about Paul and john and George from keith.... why didnt they work together then??????

- their blues era 🥺

- KEITHS BACKING VOCALS

- KEITHS BACKING VOCALS ON THE BLUES SONGS (please reference if you need me)

[rotationalsymmetry]

Why many people with YOUR political values (assuming you’re against colonialism) are hesitant to vote Biden, even though his opposition shouldn’t be in charge of cutting his own fingernails, let alone be the President of the US. (After this I’ll do another post on why it’s actually strategically OK and even a good thing to acknowledge this ambivalence, even if you’re pretty sure everyone should be voting Biden.)

Here’s a fandom analogy, OK?

Consider an Avatar: The Last Airbender AU where 1. Zuko never gets exiled but is basically the same person, the kind of kid to speak out in a war meeting that he was barely even allowed to listen to on a matter of principle, but also a loyal Fire Nation prince who thinks the Fire Nation is a force for good in the world, and 2. For some reason the Fire Nation is a democracy and Zuko is running for the position of Fire Lord against his father Ozai.

Say you’re a Fire Nation citizen who, unlike Zuko, thinks that the Fire Nation shouldn’t actually be waging a war of conquest against the rest of the world. You think the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes should be left to govern themselves, and that destroying the Air Nomads was an unjustifiable act of genocide.

(Even if you’ve also been taught and genuinely believe that the Air Nomads had a standing army, even though you’ve also been taught that the Fire Nation is giving the colonies a better quality of life, basically even though you’ve been lied to by your government your entire life. Even though your entire family, your neighbors, your coworkers, and at least some of your friends think that the Fire Nation’s colonialism is basically a force for good in the world.)

Ozai is “crazy” and shouldn’t be in charge of cutting his own fingernails, let alone being the Fire Lord. He’s sadistic, without ethics, without concern for his own people or his own children, and wants to literally wipe out the entire Earth Kingdom.

Zuko would be...less bad as a Fire Lord. He cares about the wellbeing of people under him. He’s honest and has ethics. He wouldn’t wipe out an entire nation just for resisting Fire Nation rule. There would be a big difference between Zuko as Fire Lord and Ozai as Fire Lord, and one is clearly better than the other.

But also, pre-exile!Zuko isn’t a *good* person to have as Fire Lord. Because, again, he’s been lied to all his life like everyone else in the Fire Nation, and he thinks that the Fire Nation invading and colonizing other nations is basically a good thing. He’d keep doing it. It’s what he’s been taught. It is consistent with his values and his understanding of the world.

(Would Iroh, after the Seige of Ba Sing Se? Not clear.)

This is what the Democrats as a whole are. They’re more dove-like than the Republicans, but they still think that American intervention in the rest of the world’s affairs is basically good. They prefer a hegemony (influence) and neoliberalism approach over military invasion, but they still want control over how other nations run their business and they still think that control is a good thing.

(And this isn’t even getting into the capitalism/corporate power side of things, at least not directly. Democrats have to be OK with accepting large amounts of money from huge powerful corporations in order to get elected to office, especially as major an office as president of the US, and that means they’re only willing to do so much to restrict corporations’ ability to do whatever the heck they want.)

So, back to the Fire Nation. Zuko gets elected Fire Lord. He implements some changes: less military aggression, Ba Sing Se remains free and the Northern Water Tribe is more or less at peace; but the Earth Kingdom colonies are still in place, Boiling Rock prison and earthbender prison ships still exist and are still cruel, and everyone in the Fire Nation is being constantly lied to by the government.

Aang comes out of the iceberg. Do you think he’s not still going to need to take the Fire Lord down?

I hear a lot of talk on here of “damage control” and “voting the lesser of the two evils” (which btw is something that liberals who are NOT AGAINST COLONIALISM also say.) I haven’t been seeing people NAME what the lesser evil is. This is what the lesser evil is. It is pre-exile Zuko. It is colonialism and lies and control and prisons and human rights violations, and the slow erosion of Depression era protections and tax rates, and the sort of racism that’s an “I don’t see color” racism rather than a (you know, I’m not even going to go there) racism, and wanting non-affluent disabled people to live at the poverty level rather than just die.

It’s possibly to acknowledge a difference between Biden and his opposition, and also see a major difference between Biden and someone who actually has good politics.

And we can’t conceivably undo colonialism unless we name colonialism when we see it.

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Ooooooooh 15 for the angst prompts. Jaskier is broken-hearted after his latest muse leaves him. Reader goes to comfort him and they up sleeping together. Reader thinks it’s just a rebound but Jaskier actually has feelings for her.

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 825Rating: T for swearingTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle a/n: I made myself sad, here’s hoping I make you sad too

You lay in the bed back to back, awake but pretending you weren’t.

Oh gods, it’s over.

The tenuous grip you’d had on your feelings for Jaskier had been lost, the victim of a night of impulse. You’d seen the signs all evening. He’d been vulnerable, hurt after the loss of his most recent muse. You’d been there for him as you always were and some part of you, some selfish, ugly part that you would never forgive, felt that you deserve the kiss he pressed against your lips as he walked you to your door. You were the one who pulled him back up when they shot him down. Why should they hoard his kisses with no respect for the treasures they were? Why shouldn’t you let him in your room, knowing what it would mean?

Because it changed everything.

Because there would be no coming back from this.

———-

Jaskier clutched the blanket in his hands, fidgeting with the slightly fraying edge of the hem.

It finally happened.

It hadn’t gone as he’d hoped it would. He wanted to sweep you off your feet, not fall into your arms in despair. But it had happened and there was no going back. He would tell you everything. The way the women he’d been with had been a distraction, trying to suffocate his feelings for you with other company. Calling them muses when every word he wrote and every tune he played was a tribute to you. He’d known what he was doing when he sought you out. He’d hoped, desperately, that when you let him in your room he would find the words to tell you what he felt. But, muse though you were, you didn’t inspire words that night. But your name was on his tongue and fingertips and every inch of his body that he hungrily coupled with yours. Today he would use his words, though. He would turn to you and he would tell you everything. It was what you deserved.

———-

He deserved better. He deserved someone who would be honest with him. And you deserved more. You could tell yourself that you would be ok with something casual but that way lay madness. You weren’t entirely certain you hadn’t already crossed that line. There was something about the way you clung to each other the night before. The way your nails scraped into his flesh, the way his hands clutched your throat, the way both of you seemed to fall into each other. It was depraved and it was vicious and it was… fucking perfect.

But it was over now.

The harsh light of day cast a light on the consequences of your actions. There was no more hiding.

You knew he was awake. You’d heard his breathing shift, could feel his arm moving slightly as he played with something. He was nervous. Probably trying to figure out how to extract himself or, god, worried because he felt obligated to give you some pretense of affection. That would ruin the memory you would look back on for the rest of your life where it would feed a flame that would never fully be extinguished. You took a deep breath and then you set him free.

“Leave. Before we wake up regretting what we’ve done.”

———-

Jaskier had been poisoned. He’d been stabbed. He’d nearly died a thousand times. Nothing hurt more than the words that pierced his heart. He’d been so certain that even if you didn’t share the depth of his love that you weren’t unfeeling. That there was some part of you that cared for him. At the very least he didn’t expect you to be cruel. Not another in a long line of people who accepted his love and dismissed the rest of him. Never enough. He could write all the songs and play all the parts and tease pleasure from any body, any way they desired, and yet, when it was all said and done, there was something lacking. He thought it was different with you.

He rose, fighting to ignore the trembling of his fingers as he pulled on the trousers and undershirt that had been thrown to the ground the night before. Hours ago he’d been inside of you, closer to you than he’d ever been before and now he was being exiled. He didn’t dare ask if you wanted him back. Even he would not beg for that little favor. If you wanted him gone, he would go. Because at the end of the day, with all those he loved, he wanted them to be happy. If that meant sacrificing his own happiness, so be it.

Maybe next time it would be different.

Maybe next time he would be enough.

He left the room without a word, the click of the door a soft death knell for a part of you that neither would ever know existed in the hearts of the other.