#ok but like i actually was pretty mad and i just wasn't going to talk to them when the weekend ended but to think they'd actually apologise

[dr-chosenberg]

Finally getting around to watching! I wasn't able to join this time around but we wanted you guys to get my opinions as well! I got a little burnt out so it’s not like a play by play on every episode but it’s some highlights of my thoughts.

Gds Favorite: 

Best Christmas truly brought us one of the most impactful frames in television history, I genuinely can't think of another show that so smoothly presents it's thesis with a silent still of a character. I think it should be studied by anyone looking to make a TV show. 

Blessed: 

I wholeheartedly agree with you on Gds Chef, it's an episode that kind of separates people who can really understand Moral Orel from people who don't. BWHHAHA I loved Sena spraying you guys with the Clanielle water bottle, it’s ok you guys do the same thing to me with Holy Visage, it takes a village XD 

Lords Prayer is such a fun episode, on the surface “moralton hates people who are different from them” seems like a redundant concept, not to mention the superficial divide that christianity can cause, it’s a similar concept to what was explored in elemental orel. But the dynamic between Orel and Christina is really the star of the show, I get the sense that she’s a little closer to the maliciously compliant sassy Orel we see later on. There’s the whole concept of girls maturing faster than boys that would really make a young girl cynical.

Turn the other cheek is another example of how talented the MO staff are, we see it all the time “oh i wish so and so would be miserable forever” “kys clay” but we already have catharsis given to us through an immature lens and it’s written in a funny way that moves the story along. 

Jesus: 

Loyalty is a good example I think of knowing the rules before you can break them, the hamfisted foreshadowing as you guys put it only adds to the humor because of it's absurdity while still moving along our understanding of the story. The "you're nice" boys would have bumped it up to Blessed for me, but I'm generous LOL I agree that Gd’s Image just doesn’t make it far enough to be blessed by the angels, it’s message is muddled at some points and can be pretty easily misconstrued at others. However, it is an all around solid episode outside of that. The interaction between the Figurellis and the Christiens is required watching to me. In general but also to understand the show’s attitude towards faith and the people who practice it, similar to Gds Visage. I’m glad you guys settled on Jesus would have laughed for elemental orel, it’s another episode that’s misunderstood by…fuck I sound like a rick and morty fan, but by people who the humor and writing style of the show just isn’t for. You’re not mad at the writers for making Orel scold someone doing an obviously good deed over going to church, you’re mad at christianity. 

Good: 

Good moments but not super memorable I think was the perfect way to define this tier, Omni's moment of showing just how small Bloberta's world is (dicing and slicing) is an all time quote that you can really sink your teeth in to. 

I don’t have to say much about Bartholomew. I just wanted to note that I agree the town seems incredibly flanderized. 

Satans: 

Wow I didn't know you guys were antisemetic /j 

My fellow Moralton professors know how annoying I am about this episode but you guys in the audience may not, I personally think Holy Visage gets a bad wrap in a similar way Gd's Chef does. I will concede, however, that it doesn't have that punch towards it's message that GC packs. I am also biased as grossout is usually a genre of things I love and I truly don't think it's that serious here, lol The reason, however, I say it gets a similar bad wrap to Gd's Chef is the erasure of the importance of Dr. Chosenbergs character, so I was very pleased to see you guys actually talk about the contents of his character. The good Drs faith is as important as Orels is to the show and to his character, maybe we can get in to that when we discuss the towns racism or something 

Genuises is so boring the only episode I actively skip

The concept of the main writers not writing an episode gets brought up a lot and I’d be interested in hearing how the main writers feel about those episodes, it gets a little tricky because these scenes and episodes are still IN the show and should be taken seriously as aspects of the characters we’re being presented. Not just in the realm of presents for Gd and not just in the context of you guys analyzing the show, I mean in general.

2 AND A HALF HOUR CHRISTMAS TIER LIST

[my-thirteenth-reason]

kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)

[slingbats]

I am going to need that rewrite on my desk by tomorrow, 12 point font, times new roman, double spaced

noOOOOOO IT'S TOO MUCH WORK!!! I DON'T HAVE TIME AND I DON'T CARE ENOUGH........ girl help!

my rewrite where uhhhhhhhhhh. everything is the same except the writers actually care about female characters. a lot of decisions were made because of actresses no longer being available so plotlines like fish's are more or less the same but like, Ivy either gets to grow up normally or is never a child at the beginning to start with (you can go the weird plant body route if you have to keep her relatively younger since this is a prequel ig), and I don't... even know what to make of KK or Isabella, and Sofia should just be fucking. dont tell me there isn't a single female italian bodybuilder who can act, I don't believe you. let her be buff. let her take up space. let her be huge and wear vintage fashion.

also Oswald is fat and trans

[kierancaz]

Replying to your request for prompts:

Could you write a super cute fic of Reader being on the quest with the other dwarves, and having extreme menstrual cramps, and the dwarves being overly gentle, kind, and worrying? maybe even thorin uncharacteristically gently rubbing her back as she curls up beneath her blanket?

The Company When You Have Cramps

warnings: female parts/female reader, menstruation, cramps, lmk if there's anything else !!

having woman parts sucked. and you were well aware of this when you set out on the journey to The Lonely Mountain with Thorin's company and prepared accordingly.

however, what you weren't prepared for, was cramps so bad they could rival the power of the gods (or so you thought).

you had carried on traveling for as long as could until the pain was quiet literally unbearable and you were ready to double over and just lay in the middle of the road.

at first you thought that the others would be mad or just tell you to suck it up and keep moving, but actually it was the exact opposite. they stopped and started setting up camp for the night and Oin even asked why you didn't speak up sooner seeing as you where in so much discomfort.

they didn't have any issues with you rolling out your bed mat and curling up like a ball with your blanket while they set up camp. you wished you help but you were in so much pain you didn't even think you could get up if you wanted to.

Bomber started cooking shortly after everything was set up and the fire was started. Oin had mixed together some herbs and it dulled the pain slightly but it wasn't much help, you were still in a lot of pain.

dwarves don't have a lot of women in their ranks, so imagine they take these struggles and the pain that women go though very seriously. they treat their women with the upmost respect and care.

as you laid there curled up with your head just barely peaking out from over your blanket Thorin came and squatted down in front of you. he has a sister, so I imagine he's pretty familiar with the struggles you're dealing with.

"how are you feeling?" he asks and after a moment you sit up properly next to him. "pretty shit actually."

he chuckles at your remark and hands you some warm soup, when you take it he moves his hand away to rub your back soothingly. the others are pretty preoccupied so they don't notice his sweet gesture, but you're very grateful for it.

Oin gives you more herbs after you eat and Ori joins you for a bit to talk and ask if you're alright. Fili and Kili also join you to joke around for a bit and try and get you to take your mind off the miserable state you were in. this actually works.

Bilbo also joins in on just talking with you when the others have to go do stuff like snuff out the fire or start their turn keeping watch. he brings you water and snacks/more food because food makes everything better. He is also the only one who thought to get something heated for you to put on your stomach.

he takes your water pack and as the fire is going down he places it close by and lets it heat up for a while, then he gives it you. he's very sad he doesn't have tea to offer you.

every once in a while someone will come up to you and ask if you're ok and if you need anything. just as everyone was getting ready for bed Thorin checks on you again and Oin gives you some herbs for sleep.

when you wake up you're convinced that whatever Oin gave you before you went to sleep wasn't just to ease pain and make you tired because you felt better than ever. you definitely had a spring in your step for the rest of the day.

the company was glad to see you feeling better and you helped them clean up and get back on the road. no one complained about having to stop and instead checked up on you throughout the journey to make sure you were still feeling ok.

anyway all of these guys are angles and I love them. they would def be worried and would tell you that if you're ever in pain from cramps or something again to let them know so they could stop for a bit and give you herbs.

(also if Gandalf was around when you were dealing with all that he def would've sat there with his pipe and let you smoke some of it. You know, just to keep you relaxed lol).

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Spellbook Swap

I've always wondered how couples stay together so long. My husband, Derek, and I had been married for 3 years now and while we get along great and support each other through everything, the sex had been pretty stale for awhile. Half the time he's not really in the mood and when he is, we usually just jerk off next to each other. I was getting tired of it and craved something more. But Derek was still so cute, him being a socially awkward nerd, and I was scared to tell him how I feel because he might cry.

That afternoon, I was on my way to pick him up from work. We only had one car, but since both our jobs typically had the same shift, I always headed over to pick him up at his job at the library. I didn't actually have work today so I went a little earlier to look at some books. When I arrived, Derek noticed me and smiled real big.

“Hey! You're early!”

“Yeah, thought I'd browse a bit.”

“Ah ok. I just organized it all so you get to see my work!” He smiled again and continued helping customers in line.

I browsed through my favorite genre - fantasy. I always loved ones that involved magic, spells, and amazing worlds. I noticed one book that kinda stuck out a bit amongst the shelf. It was some kind of spellbook with a brown leather cover, and had a bit of dust on it, which seemed strange because the rest of the shelf was perfectly clean. I opened it up and found that it was indeed a spellbook. I wasn't the most superstitious person ever, but I did believe there was some kind of magical force out there that could do incredible things.

I flipped through the table of contents and noticed there was a category called “relationships”. I turned the pages to the section and saw a bunch of spells - ones to make someone fall in love with you, ones to get promoted at work, ones to impress your family, things like that. I was about to close the book when I found one page - how to spice up your sex life. That was just what I needed! Even if it didn't work, it couldn't hurt to try.

I walked over to the counter right as another guy started talking to Derek. He was a real muscular guy wearing a white shirt and tan hat. His pants left absolutely nothing to the imagination with the way they were tight fitting around his ass. A mustache covered his thick face, which complemented his bright green eyes. He was carrying a tote bag.

“Hey can I help you?” He greeted the man with an eager attitude. “Need a book recommendation or anything?”

“Oh no I don't read.” The man spoke with a deep manly voice. “I mean, who has time to when you could be working out?” I could see the rare irritated look on Derek's face.

“Then…what do you need from the library?” He replied, much less eager than before.

“Just dropping off some books for the wife. We're going on vacation and they’re due tomorrow.” He took a couple books out of the tote bag.

“Allright. I can take them.” The man handed him the books and immediately turned around and left. Derek's smile returned when he saw me with a book in my hand.

“Hey! What'd you get?”

“It's a book of spells.”

“Of spells? Like real ones?”

“No way,” I laughed. “Just some dumb thing. Looks fun to read though.”

“Allright. Gotcha.” He checked me out and I sat down, waiting for him to finish the rest of the closing.

That evening after dinner I tried to seduce him but he wasn't having it once again.

“Sorry, work has me so exhausted you know?” I wish that I wanted to, but…well I just don't want to. Sorry.” I stood there defeated.

“Ok.” I let out an emotionless reply. As Derek brushed his teeth and got ready to head into bed, I flipped through the pages of the spellbook. I found the “spice up your sex life” spell and read the instructions. I needed to recite the incantation while looking at a picture of the two of us. I took out my phone, and scrolled through my gallery until I found the perfect picture. Then I started to recite the spell. Nothing happened. I tried again. Still nothing. At that point I was mad at him and now mad at the spellbook for wasting my time, so I headed into the bedroom. There I found Derek waiting for me.

“Hey…look I'm sorry. How about tomorrow morning we have some fun? I promise I'll go through with it!” Maybe the spell did work afterall! We both had a day off tomorrow so that was perfect. I was so excited that I could barely sleep.

The next morning I woke up to Derek nudging me awake. Excitedly, I turned over. But to my surprise, it wasn't him smiling at me, but a hairy guy with a mustache. He was giving me a sexy smile.

“Hey…you ready?” He gave me a look of uncertainty and cleared his throat. I didn't even know what to say but I was so confused that there was total stranger in my bed, so I had to say something.

“Who are…you?” He frowned beneath his mustache.

“What do you mean? Oh no, am I having an allergic reaction somehow? That would explain my voice and why my eyesight is blurry even with my glasses on. It's me though! My face must be so puffy…oh god."

”Holy fuck. It's Derek! But this was far beyond an allergic reaction. He's an entirely different person! He pushed the covers off and was about to get out of bed, probably to take a look at himself in the mirror, when he glanced down at his body. This was definitely not normal. He was muscular, tan, and hairy - a stark contrast to what he normally looked like. He made a terrified face, which was a strange sight on such a macho guy.

“What? What's happening? I-I…” He looked at me with worry in his eyes, and it was then that I realized WHY this was happening. It must've been the spell. I guess turning your boyfriend into a muscle hunk would definitely spice up our sex lives. But I couldn't leave him in the dark.

“I-I,” I started. “It was my fault. That spellbook I got, I used it on you. I didn't expect this though!”

It was then that I realized WHO he was. That guy we saw at the library yesterday. He somehow swapped bodies with him!

“What? What spell was it?”

“Spice up your sex life. I just…was getting bored. And you were never in the mood.”

“Oh…but it turned me into this?” He then rushed to the bathroom. I followed. He immediately recognized himself as soon as he looked into the mirror.

“Hey! I'm that guy from yesterday!? Why did it turn me into him?”

“I-I don't know! Maybe it picked someone from a recent memory?”

He gazed at himself in the mirror with an open mouth, and touched all around his face, pinching and feeling his mustache.He gazed down and admired his new muscles, feeling all around his pecs and the chest hair growing from them. He then turned around and stared at the mirror again, this time making a variety of expressions.

“What am I supposed to do? I can't stay like this!”

“I don't know! There must be something about a reverse spell in the book.” Flipping through the book, I once again found the page I needed. I read every word but didn't find anything about a reverse spell. Could he be stuck like this?

“Maybe if we see like a professional?”

“What, like a fortune teller witch lady or whatever?”

“Exactly.”

“Well. I do remember seeing something like that close to town. A psychic. Maybe they can help?”

“We could try.” I looked up fortune tellers and found Madam Cleo - Psychic. It was a short drive away. I was hoping we would find our answers there.

“I got it.”

“One problem,” Derek said doubtfully.

“What?” He stared down at himself and then answered.

“I don't think anything will fit me now…” I couldn't help but laugh out loud.“I think we can find something at least.”

We dug through the closet and eventually found the Lakers jersey that my uncle gifted me a few years back. I wasn't even into basketball and it was a few sizes too big, but at least it helped us in the end! Derek slipped it on and gazed at himself in the mirror. It fit pretty nicely.

“Not really my style…but it'll do for now.” He put his finger on his chin and then rubbed his head. He froze when he grazed the back of it.

“What’s wrong?”

“I'm…balding.” He turned around and tilted his head up to show me. He definitely had a bad case of male pattern baldness. I thought it was pretty hot, but he looked terrified.

“Hmm…well. That's something we can just fix with a hat. I walked into the bedroom, grabbed one of my hats, and put it on his head. It completed the look well.

“I guess this'll work. Maybe.” I laughed again.

“You'll be fine.”

We got to the car, Derek struggling a bit to fit in the passenger seat with his new frame, and headed over to the fortune teller. It was a warehouse-like building, although much smaller. As we were about to walk in, someone else walked out. He was a young looking guy around my age, but at least 200 lbs heavier. He looked like he made absolutely no effort to control his weight.

“Hey! That lady is awesome!” He said excitedly. “She told my fortune and said that I would lose weight very soon! I can't wait!” He then ran off, his gross looking belly jiggling up and down, and drove away.

I kinda felt bad for people like that, that actually believe that sort of thing…what am I saying? We're the ones going to a fortune teller for help. I just really hoped she was legit then.

We walked in and found that the interior was nicely decorated, completely different from the outside. Shiny wooden floors, a chandelier, and LED lights hanging from the walls. All of that surrounded a crystal ball in the center. Within a few seconds a woman dressed in a typical fortune teller outfit appeared from a curtain in the back.

“What does the future hold for you two today? Let's find out,” she said with an ominous tone to her voice.

“Actually we're not here to get our fortunes told. We need your help.”

“What do you mean? She asked, dropping the ominous tone.

“Well my husband here is a victim to a body swapping spell gone wrong.” I showed her the book, flipping to the page.

“Oh my,” she said with a concerned look on her face. “This is very powerful magic indeed.”

“But how do we reverse it?”

“I don't know for sure. But the victim should try to recite it instead.

“Victim? You mean Derek? How would that work?”

“Do not question why things are the way they are. Now go!” She said suddenly. With that, we hurried back home to recite the spell.

“Ok how do I do this now?” Derek asked.

“Just recite the spell, and focus on a picture of us.” He recited the incantation.

“Nothing happened…how was it last time?”

“Same as this time. I guess it took awhile to take effect. What should we do in the meantime?” He didn't reply, but instead stared at himself in the mirror.

“You know, now that this face actually has a brain behind it, it's actually kinda hot.” He then walked over to me and got real close. I'd never been intimidated by Derek before for obvious reasons, but this time I couldn't help but feel dominated by his brawny self.

“The spell picked this guy because you thought he was so hot didn't it? That's gotta be it.” He said with a low voice.

“Y-yeah. I admit it. He seemed dumb at the library but hey, he was a hunk.”

“And now I'm that hunk.” He started feeling all around his body again. He then glanced at his dick and began to stroke it. I knew exactly where this was going and I was all for it.

“Well then Mr. Muscle Hunk, why don't you show off that body a bit more?”

“I'd like nothing more…but I'm gonna go shower first. Who knows where this guy's been?”

“Yeah good idea. I'll be in the room.”

I was so excited! This was gonna be the hottest thing ever! I headed toward the closet to find something sexy to put on. Suddenly I felt a bit dizzy. I noticed my skin seemed to be glowing somehow. Within seconds it turned ghostly white, and then became so bright, it hurt to look at. Why was I glowing? It seemed to be just my body though, nothing was happening to my clothes. As quickly as it came, the glowing stopped and the dizziness returned. I didn't have time to see what happened, because as soon as the glow stopped I lost my balance and fell onto the nearby chair.

My clothes felt incredibly tight, but it wasn't long before I realized why. I was fat! My shirt didn't even fit over my large belly. My pants must've popped a button as my gut hung over them. I tried to get up but the weight of my gut kept pushing me backwards. How do fat guys even do this?

When I finally got up and onto my feet, I rushed to the mirror, my hanging belly flopping up and down. My face looked familiar…oh shit. I was that guy we saw at the fortune teller's! Did the spell do this? How did this happen?!

I heard the shower stop, meaning Derek was going to meet me here any minute now. I couldn't believe the hottest night of my life was about to be ruined! Why did this have to happen?

The door opened and there he was, standing there in a pair of briefs. They were always a little big on him, but with his new body, they were pretty tight. It looked like he shaved his head too. He stared at me, at first he looked shocked but then his expression changed. Was that a look of lust?

“So the spell did something to you too?”

“Yeah…look at me! I'm a mess!” I jiggled my flabby moobs to prove my point.

“Well…”

“Well?”

“It's not so bad.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I mean…well you know how you said I look hot like this? And that the spell probably made me like this for that reason?”

“Yeah. What are you getting at…wait.”

“Mhm.” He mumbled with a sexy smirk.

“Y-you think I'm hot like this?!" He got real close and started making out with me. It was the most intense make out session I'd ever had. The feeling of his thick mustache rubbing against my face was a sensation I would've never expected could feel so good.

“Does that answer your question?”

“Yep,” I said with a smirk.

[causenessus]

cold kisses

part 0.15. NOSY BITCHES!!

PLAYING FROM KODZUKEN'S STREAM . . . mystery by raveena

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

okay so tbh i'm going completely off script at this point bc i'd actually planned for kenma and y/n to have another fight 😭 but the more i thought about it the more i thought it was just repetitive and i just didn't think it fit anymore and i don't think anyone will complain about that

but it also means i'm cutting like three chapters and we have ?? two chapters left to go??

and sadly kageyama does not get his moment of spotlight in this smau </3 and i'm still trying to decide if atsumu gets redemption or not which is why this chapter started with his texts which i realized i should have done at like the end of last chapter or something i'm sorry </3 hopefully it still fit ok!!

y/n and kenma were both so tired last night that after they talked they both fell on to her bed and cuddled <3

after kenma texted the pretty setters & problem children gc he went back to sleep and soon after y/n woke up to leave for her classes

when was the last time kenma went to his classes in person? idk. he doesn't know either

it was also pouring rain when she woke up but she was so happy she woke up next to kenma she wasn't even mad

y/n was texting kenma in class when it was quiet and everyone was working on an assignment so when he started talking about being official she wanted to scream so bad

she just bit suna instead who gave her the most concerned look ever and was like "ow?? bro wtf???"

kenma was so worried when she stopped responding he thought he'd made her uncomfortable

kenma took y/n to nabana no sato <3 a flower field-type garden place that also has nighttime light shows. in the winter they have a field of winter daffodils/narcissuses <3 (in tribute to y/n's twitter header on her private and her user on it)

twitter's going a little crazy rn between atsumu/yn fans and kenma/yn fans

kenma streamed playing stardew valley with y/n later that night <3

taglist: @rinheartshyunlix @kettlepop @eggyrocks @cr4yolaas @httpakkeiji @keioover @does-directions @calx-bdo @staygoldsquatchling02 @cherrypieyourface @iluv-ace @kitty-m30w @h3xi2g0n3 @mylahrins @thechaosoflonging @momoriii-i @localgaytrainwreck @a-pastel-edgelord @bugglesboop @polish-cereal @osakis-gf @phoenix-eclipses @faesix @ryeyeyer @skylarkalchemist @kunimix @sereniteav @kodzubaby @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @r0seandth0rns @gsyche @kitnootkat @seillarium @tamimemo @myromanempiree @coldcigarette @eclipticnikki @squiishymeow @vivian-555 @cryptictheseus @eclecticeggknightpsychic @kodzukein @kawaii-angelanne @luvly-writer @kodzuken-hoe @kodzuken88 @bookworm-center @theweirdfloatything @glitch-karma @spicana

[my-great-big-book-of-fan-fiction]

Katsuki Bakugou x F!reader - Fluff oneshot about being married and wanting babies

a little over 1k words, A fluff piece about Katsuki wanting a baby and wanting it NOW. Slightly spicy at the end, like paprika levels of spice (AGED UP THOUGH DON'T COME FOR ME). Give me your requests/comments, I love hearing from you people!

______________________________________________________________

"Wifey..." Katsuki grumbled, his face buried into your neck, his thumb gently rubbing the plush skin of your stomach up and down. One arm was wrapped around your waist, the other straight beneath your head, and the man himself was spooning you. It was early in the morning, 7:13 to be exact, and he had just woken up. He was still in his black tank top and boxers, It was basically his summertime uniform when it came to sleepwear. What could he say? He was a simple man.

The sun was shining in through the blinds, dappling the neat and tidy room with rays of light, inviting the both of you out of bed. It was a Saturday, the only day Katsuki took completely off (and only because you made him promise to), but unfortunately he woke up at around the same time he would be heading to work.

This pissed him off, especially because he had been up late staring at the ceiling thinking, but once he was up, he was up, and now he had to make it your problem. Your slow breath and heart beat was comforting, sure, but so were your kisses, and your smile, and he wanted that so he would have it. Besides, he had something to talk to you about.

When you didn't rise from his gentle approach, he grumbled and growled, already losing patience. He decided to nibble on your neck, right at the base where it met your shoulder. His tongue gently pressed against the skin, before his teeth pushed a little harder against you. He wasn't going to draw blood, he wasn't going to actually hurt you, but he wanted you up and awake.

You groaned, it was his sharp canines that woke you, but you were already used to his tactics and just waved it off. "Katsuki...Go back to bed..." you mumbled, pushing your face into your pillow and shifting a little in his arms so the blanket covered you even more. "You know I can't," He argued, his voice low and husky from the lack of use yet.

Biting won't work? Fine then. He slipped his muscled arm out from beneath your head, sliding it under your body and meeting his other hand around your waist. Suddenly, he flipped over fast, his version of a death roll. You yelped in surprise, your head falling onto what used to be his pillow, but once you registered what happened you sat up with a pissed look on your face.

"Ok, I'm up! What is so goddamn important that you have to do all that?" He sat up with you, resting his weight on one elbow and grinning. He loved when you were mad, something about it made him twice as attracted to you. He leaned in, planting a soft kiss on your cheek and grumbling, "I love you, Wifey." You had been married for 3 years and together for 8, he knew a thing or two about calming you down and making you happy. It worked and you knew it, your cheeks heating and your furrowed brow smoothing.

"W-well...You don't need to wake me up just to tell me that," you scoffed, trying to stay mad but ending up much calmer than before. "I didn't wake you up just for that, dumbass."

Your entire relationship, from acquaintances to spouses, he's called you that. It was to the point that in both of your vocabularies it was practically equal to the word "darling" or "baby," reserved for only the two of you and meant as a term of affection.

"Well what was it for," you asked with a peeved yet inquisitive voice, rubbing your eyes and laying back down to face him. he stayed sitting partially up, his hand grasping at your waist and pulling you close to him. He loved looking at you, seeing the little expressions you made, seeing all those pretty features so specific to you.

"Lets make a brat," He announced, grinning so widely that you'd think he was the Cheshire cat. He was never shy about his thoughts, always believing that beating around the bush got no one anywhere, but his frankness surprised you here.

You paused, your stunned expression amusing him, until finally you said, "W- Uh, R-Right now???" it was silent for a beat, before he burst out laughing at the fact that your first thought was the baby making and not the actual baby.

"No, idiot, not unless you wanna," he teased, planting a kiss on your forehead before placing his chin on your scalp as he pulled you against him. "Nah, I just thought...y'know...maybe it'd be time..." He seemed nervous bringing this up, and rightfully so. it was a delicate topic, and one the two of you hardly touched on. You always wanted kids, and he knew that, but he also knew that timing was everything.

"Well...we are pretty stable right now, financially...and our jobs are pretty flexible, too..." You seemed to be thinking it over. You yourself were on special call with the hero agency, meaning you had a good salary but only worked on special occasions because of the nature of your quirk, and Katsuki had an even better salary and could call off whenever necessary because his squad was reliable enough to take care of things while he was gone. finally, after what he felt was years, you smiled up at him.

"We should have a baby," you giggled, and he couldn't help but smile. You pushed him over, forcing him to lay on his back as you peppered his face with kisses. One of his hands rested on the small of your back, the other gripping your upper thigh as you straddled him. As you kissed his cheek, a thought occurred to you, one that got you too curious to ignore. "How long have you been wanting this, anyway?"

He shrugged, sitting straight up and holding you in his lap. "Dunno," He mumbled. What a bad liar. You gave him that look, the one that meant he wasn't being slick, and he blushed red. "Shut up," he groaned, his hand rubbing up and down your sides mindlessly.

"I haven't said anything," you remarked, which caused his eyes to narrow a little. "Yeah you did, with that dumb face," he countered. "Listen, I promise that whatever it is, I won't judge!" You were begging at this point, and he found that adorable.

He thought about your words, his lips pressing together as he contemplated. finally, he sighed and turned away, muttering, "It's cause you were doin' the dishes..." The dishes? you always did the dishes. He could see your confusion on your face, so he was quick to explain.

"You just looked so damn cute, and it made me think about you... bein' my lil housewife..." he pressed his face into your neck, the last of his words being muffled. You knew he liked the domestic stuff, like when you cooked and cleaned, but you didn't know he liked it enough to put a baby in you. "But Kat, I'm basically already your housewife," you laughed, the heat of his face radiating against your skin.

"Well yeah, but not with kids." Don't get him wrong, he liked splitting the chores, and he was happy with you having your own job and money, but he also liked you doing household things. It wasn't about you doing the "womanly roles" either, and more about you just doing things at home. It was something he and only he got to see, something intimate, and he wanted more of it.

"I thought you said you didn't like kids," you pointed out, an amused tone in your voice. "It's different. Our kids will be the best kids." The idea made you a little giddy too, Katsuki playing with their kids, looking at them the way he looked at you, like they were the most important things in the whole wide world.

"Your offer still good," he asked, regaining his confidence as his voice lowered a little. "What offer," you asked as he pulled back from your neck and smirked mischievously at you. "To make 'em right now," he chuckled, watching as your eyes widened and your lips curved into a nervous smile. "what? Gotta get started as soon as possible, right?"

______________________________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, I just love the domestic crap, I live for it lol.

[viquipo]

No bc I'm so mad rn I usually post my rants on ig stories but I need the tumblrites to tell me if I'm crazy or what. Jwcc/ct spoilers WHATEVER

First of all I want to preface this by saying that this is just my opinion on the matter, I'm not saying your headcanons are "wrong" or whatever tf, it's a kids cartoon where they unironically use terms like "fam". You can play with the characters however you'd like.

That being said, this is why TO ME it does not makes sense for Ben to be anything other than gay. Again, if you think he's bi or straight or anything else that's cool. I'm also leaning towards the opinion that he does actually have a girlfriend. I don't think the shows gonna pull a 180 on it because, realistically, 2 queer characters is already a lot for a DreamWorks kids show. As much as I'd like it not to be.

But, since the beginning, Ben has been very clearly coded as exclusively into men to me. Before finally going into it, I remind everyone on here that I'm a lesbian. I have felt an affinity with his character specifically for the experience of only liking the same gender. I might be totally projecting.

Ok, so.

1. The arc Ben goes through during the show is yes, one of self discovery, but also one of self acceptance. He changes a lot from the start of s1, but he also comes to terms with stuff himself or other people didn't like about him. He doesn't throw the dork pouch away or tells Kenji to keep it, the first thing he does when he takes it back from Kenji is put on hand sanitizer. He is covered in dirt, he's not afraid of filth anymore, but he still does that action because it's part of who he is as a person. He also becomes very unashamed at the things he does. He went from being embarrassed of his carob bars to eating grubs in front of people who he knows think it's gross. He knows himself as he is and he accepts it. To me (and to lots of other people) this works very well as a gay metaphor, and pairs up pretty nicely with the whole "jungle boy? Jungle MAN" arc being a trans metaphor. But how does this make Ben uniquely into men?

Well, it doesn't. But I think this next one does.

2. Enter Yasmina. She's pretty, she's smart, athletic, funny, all that good stuff. I'm not saying that means every wlm character should automatically be into her, but it certainly helps. Now forgive me if I don't remember specific episodes/seasons, but we all remember that episode where Ben convinces himself that Yaz is in love with him for some reason. When he "rejects" her, he says : "I'm just now starting to find myself". That's cool, cause I'm pretty sure Ben's " finding himself " personality wise was over and done a couple of seasons ago. To me, that is a really good hint at him dealing with his gayness.

3. He's also the first person Yasmina talks to about her feelings for Sammy. Now, in this particular context, the options for Yaz to talk to were Darius, Brooklynn, or Ben. It would initially seem to make more sense for her to confide in Brooklynn, since the two of them are far closer than her and Ben, and it also wouldn't be the first time she brings up Sammy as a romantic interest for Yaz (see: everyone tweaking abt that one line back in like s2). So why does Yasmina, a very private and reserved person, choose Ben to talk to about her same sex crush? She has probably gathered from the previous conversation that Ben relates to her struggle in a unique way in which Brooklynn just can't. Ben seems very receptive of what Yaz is saying ("feelings, am I right?") and it seems like he REALLY gets where she's coming from.

4. This is one I don't see talked about a lot, and maybe it's just cause I'm too out of the loop with the fandom, but I want to examine it as well. It's when Ben decides to not actually stay on the island. Everyone (except Sammy) already knew he wasn't going to stay in the end, but still didn't force him out. I think this is especially clear in a line Darius says when they reunite on the boat that goes something like "you needed to figure it out on your own" *smile hand on shoulder combo*. No explanation needed I think

I am diagnosed with autism did you guys know what

[cwritesforfun]

Art x Patrick x Tashi x Fem!Reader: Four Peas in the Pod

now hear me out... four people in a relationship ... this doesn't get too smutty (mainly just implied), sorry to disappoint ... you end up with all of them separately and together at least once in this oop... Bold and Italics from the movie *** I Do NOT own the lines from the movie or the characters *** I also did change the plot Y/N = Your Name

Masterlist

Tashi asks, "So how often does this happen?... Going after the same girl?" Patrick answers, "Not as often as you'd think actually." Tashi asks, "Really?" Art answers, "No, no we uh...we usually have different types." Tashi asks, "So you're saying I should be flattered? Art asks, "Aren't you everybody's type?" Tashi laughs and asks, "Was the last time with Y/N?" Art and Patrick exchange confused glances before Patrick asks, "How do you know Y/N?" Tashi asks, "Do you mean reigning mixed doubles tennis champion, Y/N? She literally plays with Ivan and they win almost every game they play together. Did you see that Ivan is moving and retiring? Y/N is out of her doubles partner. Are either of you stepping up?" Art asks, "How do you know all of this? Y/N hasn't said anything about it to us." Tashi smirks and replies, "Oh yeah we're best friends. We met at tennis camp 2 summers ago and we talk all the time... It seems like you two were replaced by me in her life." Patrick replies, "No, we weren't replaced... and if Y/N is your best friend, why is she not here right now supporting you?" Tashi answers, "Because she's competing in Florida dum dum." Art sighs and asks, "How did you know that the last time... that we ..." Tashi says, "That you two liked her?" Art shrugs and nods. Tashi exclaims, "Girls talk boys. You two came up and she promised me not to tell anyone. You two were involved, so I figured I could ask you about it. I want to know if you two actually liked her and if one of you is still hung up on her." Art points at Patrick and says, "He misses her." Patrick snaps, "Do not. You miss her." Tashi laughs and says, "I'm calling her real quick." Patrick asks, "Why?" Tashi answers, "I don't have to answer that."

((Start of Conversation)) Y/N - Hello? Tashi? Tashi - Hey Y/N. You'll never believe whose room I'm in. Y/N - Art and Patrick? Art already told me. Tashi - Omg he didn't tell me that. Art - I didn't think you knew Y/N when I told her. Y/N - *laughs* Oh sweet Art, there are not many bada** female tennis players out there. And the few out there are my friends. Patrick - I wouldn't call you bada** sunshine. Y/N - Ok Mr. Sour Puss Art - He's just angry you haven't texted him back...Ow Patrick that hurt. Tashi - They keep fighting about missing you and not missing you. I wanted to tell you and I wanted to be on the phone for you to find out. Y/N - Aw well I miss them. I would've been there this weekend if I wasn't competing. My last match with Ivan is today, he is retiring tomorrow. It's quite insane. Art - Why didn't you tell us? Y/N - You get sappy and Patrick would say I told you so. Patrick - I was thinking it but wasn't going to say it. At least not today. Tashi - So how is the week going? Y/N - Fine. We advanced to the finals. Patrick - Hey, I think Tashi likes you as well, Y/N. Why else would she call you before a threesome? It's some kind of foreplay for her. Art - Patrick really? Patrick - I'm just saying what we're all thinking. Y/N - See, Tashi, I told you they were like this. Ugh, I have to go, my Coach is calling me into the next room and I don't want her to be mad at me. But, you three have fun. I miss and love each of you. Bye. ((End of Conversation))

Tashi slaps Patrick's arm and says, "You weren't supposed to tell her that I liked her. I don't even know if she likes girls too." Patrick replies, "Y/N is pansexual. She likes everyone unless they're jerks, which you are not." Art replies, "Pretty sure Y/N doesn't want you spouting her private info like that." Patrick replies, "You're too sensitive, Art."

SKIP to one year later ~ Your POV

You invited Art, Patrick, and Tashi to your vacation home for the weekend. Your family wasn't on vacation with you and for that you were grateful.

You missed all three of your crazy friends. Patrick and Tashi were dating now, which seemed weird. Patrick stopped checking in with you as much and Tashi would explicitly tell you every detail of her sex life. You talked to Art when he felt alone, which was a lot and you visited him a few times at Stanford to "talk" in person. While you visited Art, you secretly visited Tashi to also "talk" in person.

You invited them all together because you had big news to share and wanted to see their reactions to it in person. You made sure there were plenty of drinks and food for the weekend. You even ordered robes with their first names on them as a keepsake. You were drunk when you ordered them one night and thought it would be cute.

You hear a car pulling into your driveway and you open your front door. You run down the steps and Art is the first one out of the backseat of the car. You run up to him first and hug him tightly. He says, "God I missed you." You reply, "I missed you too. Thank you for coming this weekend." He replies, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

You turn around and see Tashi. You open your arms and hug her tight. You say, "Thank you for being here. I missed you, Tashi." She replies, "Thank you for inviting me." You reply, "Of course, you're part of our group now whether you like it or not."

You turn to Patrick and say, "You don't text." He replies, "You don't text either." You smirk, he smirks, and then you hug him. He whispers in your hair, "I missed you, my Y/N." You reply, "I missed you too."

You lead them into the house and show them all of the rooms. You exclaim, "My parent's room is off-limits, but you can stay in any other room here. Toss your stuff upstairs then come down for dinner. I have something to tell all of you."

You rush off to the kitchen to prepare your surprise. You take the prosecco out of the fridge and grab 4 Red Solo cups. You do not trust your friends with glass. You pop off the cork and pour 4 equal cups.

Art walks into the room first and exclaims, "I guess I'm first." You reply, "I knew you would be." He asks, "Is ... is that a good thing?" You answer, "Yes, it means you're reliable and punctual. Those are both qualities I respect and admire." You notice his cheeks blush a little and you smile. Good to know you have the same affect on him after all this time.

Patrick and Tashi walk into the room next. You hand them each a cup and say, "Don't sip yet. I just need to tell you one thing then we can cheer to the news. I bought extra drinks for tonight too." They all look at you weirdly and you exclaim, "So all of you know that Ivan retired and moved last year, which meant I was in search of a new mixed doubles partner, right?" They all nod and you exclaim, "Well my parents complained that I need a back-up plan in case I really cannot find a replacement that I like, which has been the case. I don't mesh well with anyone so far, so I'm going to college... and I'm going to Stanford starting next year. I've been taking online classes this year to waive the basic courses, but I'll be in business management starting in August. We'll all be seeing each other a lot more now." All of their jaws drop and you say, "Stanford offered me a full ride for tennis and I'll be on the team. I don't know who will be my partner, but the coaches were adamant that I could find a match there. I mentioned that I knew you two, Art and Tashi. The Coach was pleased with that...So now we can cheer and drink to the future of us!" Art exclaims, "Congrats. Truly. I can't wait to see you next year." You smile and Tashi says, "Oh my god, we have to be roommates. I need one more person to sign onto my apartment. This is perfect. Oh wow, I'm excited. Congrats." Patrick says, "I'll be the only one not in the Stanford club now. It'll be good to see you again, Y/N." You smile and say, "Ok now drink! Drink!" They all smile and you all drink.

You show them the dinner you prepared, which features food that you know each of them likes. You all talk, laugh, and enjoy your dinner together. You also drink more. You bring drinks outside, so Patrick can smoke. It makes him happy, so you don't mind going outside to hang out with him for that. You choose to not smoke, you hate the feeling of it and how it leaves your brain feeling. That and the smell give you a horrible headache.

You're on the couch with Tashi passing the bottle between each other as Art and Patrick sit across passing a joint.

Patrick laughs to himself and asks, "Do you guys wanna know something funny?" You all stare at him expectantly and he says, "Every single one of us has hooked up with the whole group." Art asks, "Wait, Tashi and Y/N hooked up?" You laugh and say, "Yeah when Patrick spoiled that she liked me before you three made out, we talked and we hooked up at our next tournament. We also dated for a summer, which was chill. And we won all of our matches." Tashi replies, "Of course we won, we're winners at heart." You smile. Patrick asks, "I'm just thinking that I wouldn't be opposed to a foursome." You laugh at the thought and see all of them looking at you with serious faces. You say, "Wait, I thought he was kidding. You're all freaking me out." Art says tentatively, "Uh ... we might have thought that you invited all of us to hook up this weekend." Tashi adds, "And you said your parent's room was off-limits, but your room was wide open. We thought that meant we were all invited in." You reply, "I see how it sounded now... oh wow... I hadn't even considered it for this weekend." Patrick asks, "When did you consider it?" You answer, "You always call me on my sh** haha! I thought about it when you three called me that first time." Patrick replies, "God, you've been thinking about it for a year. That's kind of pathetic." You reply, "Believe it or not, but sex wasn't the only thing on my mind this year." Tashi adds, "It was sex and tennis." You laugh and pour more drinks.

The next morning, you wake up naked lying with Tashi wrapping her arms around you and Art on your other side. You see Patrick on the other side of Tashi too. You don't want to wake them, so you slowly sneak out of bed. You see a messy pile of clothes and smile.

You put on a robe and walk downstairs to the kitchen. You start the coffee machine and wait for it to be ready. You feel arms wrap around you and you smell Patrick. You lean against him and he starts talking in his husky morning voice, "I didn't get to cuddle with you because those two are needy, but I missed you more." You reply, "I missed you too. I'll text you more, I promise." He replies, "Good. I'm glad. Can you make me a coffee too?" You answer, "Sure, love." He kisses your head before hopping on the counter next to you. He's wearing his robe and he's smiling at you warmly. You make coffee for you two and you sit outside. You lean your head on his shoulder and you talk about your lives.

Art makes his way outside at some point with a coffee mug and he curls against your other side. You all talk and just laugh.

Tashi makes her way outside with coffee and starts complaining about tennis. She had to talk about tennis right now, didn't she? You can hear the boy's annoyance through their gritted teeth and tense posture.

You all go on a run around the water because Tashi doesn't want to miss a workout and then it's time for breakfast. You cook with Tashi and you all eat together outside.

The next two days repeat similarly: calm coffee with the boys, workout with Tashi, breakfast, tennis practice (how did Tashi find the one court within 15 miles of you?), lunch, tennis talk or sex, dinner, movies, sex, and sleep. It was a great weekend for you.

Things between you four stayed casual.

You moved in with Tashi, but you refused to have her put too much pressure on you. You set boundaries and rules with her, which seemed to anger her. She accepted it though. You now texted Patrick a lot and he visited Tashi when he wasn't competing. Art only visited when he visited, but you still kept in contact with Art. You were playing on the same team as Art, so you saw him at practice every day. You four were blissfully happy when it was just you four, no tennis talk, at night. But you noticed Art slowly falling for Tashi and she didn't even notice. Patrick didn't seem worried either.

You had a new partner and he was decent. You hoped that you both could get some wins for Stanford.

You didn't see Tashi's injury happen because you were playing a mixed doubles match two courts away, but you did hear the bloodcurdling screams. You had convinced yourself that it was nothing to be worried about, but you should have known something was up when you saw Patrick at your match in the audience. He was supposed to be supporting Tashi with Art in the audience.

After you finish, your Coach tells you that Tashi has been transported to the hospital and you ask to see her. Your Coach bans you from going because you have a match tomorrow and need to be ready for it. You don't have a car because you all took a bus, so you don't fight them even if it's taking everything in you to not go.

You find Patrick outside and walk up to him. You ask, "So uh what happened today?" He answers, "Tashi and I fought last night when she was trying to Coach me as we had sex. I was angry she wouldn't just focus on us. She must have cared at least a little because she tripped and tore her ACL. I went to see her to make sure she was okay, but she kicked me out and ended our relationship. Art then told me to get out because she allowed him to stay. I don't want to see them anymore. I wanted you to know because I hope we can still talk." You reply, "Of course, Patrick. You'll always have me... And if you ever decide you might want to try mixed doubles when I graduate, give me a call." He smiles and says, "I will... I'm going to leave town, but great job on your win." You reply, "Thanks." You hug him and he heads out.

You graduate with your business management degree in three years and help with several tennis wins along the way. Art and Tashi had cut Patrick out of their lives completely after her injury. They also started exclusively dating each other and got super weird. Tashi was still uptight about tennis and she would randomly try to kiss with you if Art was out. Art would talk your head off about his relationship and his overall feelings about life claiming that Tashi didn't care. He stayed loyal to Tashi... you didn't have the heart to tell him that Tashi had tried to kiss you a few times. You text Patrick some, but he seems busy, or at least he stops responding to you.

Tashi had asked if you wanted to live with her and Art, to which you refused. That was too awkward and you didn't like being the third wheel.

You move to NYC and start working with a new Coach that you had met at a random tournament when you were younger. You create routines that work for you, find a decent partner named Mario, and you start practicing. You get an invitation to Art and Tashi's engagement party, which you attend and it's beautiful. They seem happy to you.

You're in Atlanta when you see a few familiar names on the list for this tournament. You decide to see if they're already here and Mario follows you confused.

You see Art hitting the balls with Tashi yelling and throwing them. You see Patrick sitting and watching. It's then that everything happens ... Art sees you, Tashi sees you, Patrick sees you, and then they see Patrick. It's the first time all four of you have been in the same space in years. Mario asks, "Is this weird or just me?" You turn away and say, "Come on Mario, let's go practice." He follows you and replies, "I heard you three were friends at one point." You reply, "We were the best of friends, but sometimes you outgrow your friends." He replies, "You do... did I ever tell you..." Mario keeps rambling and you think about the good times you all had together. Things were good. Too good for that one year... well you have to admit the best time was that first weekend together.

You practice and practice.

Your Coach checks you into the hotel when you notice Patrick walk in. You get your key from your Coach and decide to say hi to Patrick because you really did miss him and you want to know why he stopped texting you. You walk up to Patrick who is with a girl and he looks to be shamelessly flirting with her. You laugh and exclaim, "Hi Patrick, I didn't know you would be here." The girl turns to you and asks, "Oh, you know him?" You answer, "Yeah, we're old friends." She replies, "Great, you can take my seat and catch up then. I'm sure that would be better than talking to me, bye." She rushes off and Patrick says, "Great, you just ruined my chances of sleeping in a hotel room tonight." You slump into the seat opposite him and say, "Oops well what can I say? I wanted to ask my old friend why he stopped texting me. You disappeared on me, Patrick." He sips his drink and says, "You seemed happier without me." You gasp and he adds, "Especially with Mario... have you two slept together yet?" You answer, "No, we're just friends and tennis players. We've never kissed nor do I want to kiss him." He replies, "Oh well I guess I just assumed you did. Sorry." You reply, "It's fine. I guess... Need a place to sleep? I don't want to have sex, but you can have half the bed. I mean if I lose first, you'll have to leave, but my Coach is hopeful that Mario and I will make it to the final." He asks, "Why would you do that for me? We haven't talked in years and you're angry with me." You answer, "It's plain and simple. I miss you and care about you, no matter what. Yes, I am angry about not texting, but now you're going to see how awesome I am and start texting again." He laughs and says, "You're funny, sure. I'll be right up. I need to pay my bill. What room are you in?" You answer, "Do not charge it to me, my Coach will throw a fit. But I am in room 312." He nods and you head up to the room.

You see a text from Tashi: Good luck this weekend. And a text from Art: Good luck this weekend. I hope we can see you at some point. I missed you.

An hour passes ~

There is a knock on the door and it's Patrick. He looks upset. It's best not to push him to speak. He's already barely talking to you. You let him in and he puts his stuff on the other side of the room. You say, "You can shower first if you want." He nods and asks, "You don't want to shower together, do you?" You answer, "Fine, sure."

After you lay in bed all cozy in pajamas, you finish setting your alarms and say, "I'm getting up at 6:00 am, so I'm sorry if I wake you." He replies, "It's okay. I'll need to be up anyway for check-in." You reply, "I'll leave a card for the room by your stuff, so you can come and go as you like." He replies, "Thanks, Y/N."

You turn off the lights and Patrick says, "Tashi cornered me in the bar and was all angry with me for being her. She told me not to mess with Art and we made out. I just wanted you to know." You reply, "Ok." But inside, you're screaming. You knew letting Patrick into your room meant something complicated. You just didn't know it meant this...

Every day passes in the same way, you wake up cuddling Patrick, you compete, you get back first, you bring him extra food, he gets back late, he eats, you have shower sex, and he confesses something random to you in the dark.

Tonight goes a different way... The lights have been off for five minutes and you have no idea if Patrick is going to say something. You ask, "How did your match go today?" He asks, "How did yours go?" You answer, "We advanced to the semi-finals." He replies, "I lost." You ask, "How long are you staying in town?" He answers, "I wanted to see you play at least once." You reply, "I play at 5:00 pm tomorrow." He replies, "Ok, and maybe we can talk about hanging out more later." You reply, "I would like that very much."

You win, Patrick is cheering for you, and you both talk that night about your lives.

You text Art and Tashi, but you them you don’t wanna see them this weekend outside of tennis.

You win the mixed doubles final and are immediately on a plane to Los Angeles for meetings with sponsors. You and Patrick were talking again. Patrick left when you did and he started the long drive to Los Angeles, so you two could hang out more.

Patrick moved in with you. He met Mario and they hit it off as friends.

Life seems to be happy again for a year.

And then it isn’t.

You get back from a tournament that you won with Mario and notice your house looks different. You see less pictures on the wall and less clutter. You notice your dog, Spots, run up to you and you pay his head. You run to your bedroom expecting to find Patrick only to find a note on the bed. You rush over and read it:

Hey Y/N ~ I’m sorry. I couldn’t do it. It felt too real. It’s scary. I don’t think I can commit to dating any longer. You are a winner and I’m not one. Be with a winner. If you need me, Tashi & I are running away together. We’ve been secretly together for years. Sorry for not telling you sooner. Oh and I left this morning. Spots had breakfast. Your grocery delivery arrived and I put it away. Xx- Patrick

You fall to your knees and cry. You get up and notice everything that Patrick had is gone. No trace of him remains, except him in group pictures. Why does he say he doesn’t care than he feeds Spots and deals with my groceries? I’m so confused and honestly angry.

You text Tashi: You deserve him. Don’t text again.

You text Patrick: You deserve her.

After a while, you hear a knock on your door, slide the letter into your back pocket, and wipe your tears a little before opening it. Outside are Art and Lily. Lily looks happy and Art looks defeated. You understand why. You feel the same way. You exclaim, “Hi Art and Lily. Um, what are you doing here?” Art exclaims, “I think we both know… but Lily here wants a sleepover and a sleepover is what she will have.” You laugh and say, “Well then welcome in. I hope neither of you is allergic to dogs, this is Spots. Spots is a 6-year-old Dalmation.” Lily excitedly asks, “Can I pet him?” You answer, “Yes, Spots loves to be pet. Here come inside, I’ll show you his favorite place.” Lily skips after you into your living room. You sit on the floor and Spots sits in front of you. You say, “Okay Lily, now that he is sat, you can pat his head. Once he likes you, he’ll flip onto his back and you can scratch his stomach. He also likes you if he gives you his paw.” Lily pets him and is excited.

Art asks, “Hey Lily, do you mind if I borrow Y/N for a second? We’ll be right over here. We just need to talk about grown-up things. You can let Spots.” Lily nods and you follow him across the room. You pull out the letter and ask, “Did you get one too?” He hands you his and answers, “Yeah. Here is mine.”

Art ~ I’m leaving with Patrick. We’re going on a trip. We’ve been seeing each other for years. He just plays tennis more passionately than you. Tell Lily that I will see her soon. I’m her mother, so I will return. The divorce papers are underneath this. Sign them and give them to Mr J this week if you can. I want the house. Also give Mr J the paternity test in the box. I want to know if you or Patrick is the real father of Lily. Xx Tashi

You exclaim, “That is horrible parenting.” Art replies, “Yeah well… she was a great parent at one point. Just not now. We still have the house, but I had to get out of there. It feels like it’s suffocating me. I assumed you got a letter, so I just told Lily we were going to visit you for a sleepover and she was happy… she likes Spots.” You smile and reply, “Spots is my emotional support dog and my best friend.” He replies, “Damn… I lost my best friend status.” You reply, “Sorry, you just got too attached to Tashi and your only conversation topics when we talked were her. It felt like I lost you.” He replies, “I should’ve opened up to you… I realize that now.”

You notice Lily run up to Art and she pulls his hand then says, “Daddy, I’m hungry.” Art sighs and you say, “I have food. We can cook up something. What are your favorite foods?” Lily answers, “Noodles and cheese and strawberries and chocolate and crackers and cakes.” You reply, “Let’s go see what I have in the kitchen then.” She asks, “Can I help?” Art says, “Lily, you can’t just do that.” You notice how defeated Lily looks and you reply, “I don’t mind, come on Lily. Let’s cook dinner. Art, there are two bedrooms upstairs. You can put you and Lily’s stuff in whichever one you prefer. You can also take a shower if you need too. Lily & I got this.” Lily looks up at Art and says, “Yeah Dad, we got this.” Lily takes your hand and you go to the kitchen with Spots running after you. You find the pasta and you let Lily help out a few times. She sits on the counter and you let her choose music. It’s some group that does piano covers of pop songs. Very odd choice for a kid, but better than Kidz Bop.

Art returns and you notice his hair is wait, so he must have taken you up on your offer. You’re glad. He looked rough when he walked in.

You sleep on the couch the next couple of nights. You can’t sleep in your bed without thinking of Patrick and you in that bed.

You’re reading in the living room and you hear your name spoken in a small voice. You see Lily standing there and she is in her pajamas holding her teddy bear. You say, “Hey Lily, sweetie, do you need something?” Lily asks, “Can I sleep with you tonight? Daddy never used to kick, but this week he is. He is annoying me. I want to sleep.” You answer, “Sure, let’s go to my room.”

You text Art: Lily is with me. If you wake up and worry about where she is.

You then walk with Lily to your room and you ask, “Is it okay if Spots sleeps in the bed too?” She answers, “Yes. I want doggy cuddles.” You laugh before helping Lily on the bed. You then make sure Spots’ ladder is set for him to climb onto the bed. He runs over to Lily and licks her face causing her to laugh. You yawn and say, “If he does something you don’t like, tell him to stop, okay?” Lily answers, “Okay.”

You fall asleep fairly quickly and you wake up to your arm being shaken. You see Lily and she says, “We should make breakfast in bed for my dad.” You forgot that kids have wild sleep patterns and also will disrupt your sleep. Great. You say, “Okay, let’s do it. What does he eat for breakfast?” Lily answers “Eggs and fruit and smoothies. But I like pancakes more.” You reply, “Okay let’s go see what we have.”

You text Art: If you read this after you get up, stay in bed. Trust me. Lily wants to make you breakfast in bed.

You help Lily carry Art’s breakfast in bed and you deliver it to his room. Lily goes back downstairs to get her food and she says she can do it by herself. You let her and hope for the best. Luckily Spots stays next to you, so you feel better that he won’t steal her food. As she’s gone, you exclaim, “Uh sorry about stealing her. She found me last night and complained about you kicking in bed… she also woke me up asking to make you breakfast. I texted and I’m assuming you saw that because you’re still in bed. I didn’t want to leave a note. I thought it would be too soon. But I felt a text was the right in-between thing.” Art replies, “Yeah thanks for the text. I was stressed for a second, but I heard her voice downstairs too… and thanks for being so great with her. I know you didn’t ask for this right after a break-up.” You reply, “It’s been a great distraction.” He replies, “Good, I’m glad… the movers should be taking Lily and I’s out of our house today then we’ll be gone soon.” You ask, “Why don’t you both stay here until you find a new house? I don’t mind the company and you’re both sweet.” He blushes a little and just then Lily walks in. Art helps her onto the bed with her food and asks, “So Lily, remember how I told you we were moving?” She nods and Art asks, “How about staying here with Y/N and Spots until we find a place for just us?” She smiles widely and says, “Yay! I like Y/N and Spots. I finally get to have a pet dog. Does this make Y/N my new mommy?” Oh … She looks between you and Art before saying, “Daddy, I thought you liked Y/N. She’s very pretty and she lets me cook. She has a dog! And she let me stay with her in bed! And her bed stayed in the bed too!” You laugh and Art says, “Let’s just call her Y/N for now.” Lily frowns and eats her breakfast.

You leave to go eat your breakfast and Spots follows you. You eat at your table outside and let Spots roam the backyard. You hear the door open and Lily is there. She asks, “Can I play with Spots?” You answer, “Yes, put some shoes on first. You don’t want to hurt your feet.” Lily returns with her shoes on and Art behind her. Lily skips off the deck and to Spots where she starts chasing him. You look over at Art who looks nervous, so you say, “You know you can sit down, Art. I promise I don’t bite.” He replies, “You did that once… oh sorry for saying that…” He sits down and says, “Tashi was never close with Lily. She never let her cook or get a dog either. Lily just wants to be a kid and I thank you for letting her do that.” You reply, “Of course, Art. She deserves it. She is a good kid.” He places his hand over yours and rubs his thumb along the back of it before saying, “Sometimes I think about if I had chosen you instead of Tashi… if we had dated and if you were my wife and the mother to my kid who may not even be my kid.” You place your hand on his and say, “Art, don’t beat yourself up about the past between us… you have been more of a parent to Lily than Tashi was. She even left her with you. Even if you aren’t her dad, you’re the best father figure she’s going to ever have.” You notice tears in his eyes and you reach over to hug him. He cries into your shoulder for a while. Lily runs over and asks, “What happened to Dad?” You answer, “I think he just needs a hug. Lily, why don’t you give your dad a hug?” You let go of him to hug her and she says, “I love you dad. No more crying. Be happy.”

Art and Lily move in officially later in the week. Art asks to join you two together in bed and Lily makes him pinky promise not to kick. He sleeps on the other side of you and Spots is cuddled against Lily. You sleep very peacefully and it's nice.

You and Art never talk about the break-up, which is fine. But when you return to work, you talk to your friends and go out with them to confide in someone. They now hate Patrick.

When you get back home after a long day, you drop your bags in your bedroom and hear, "Hey uh Y/N, I got you these." You see Art standing there with roses and he's dressed up. You say, "Thanks, Art. What are you all dressed up for?" He answers, "I uh found a babysitter for tonight, so we could go have dinner just the two of us." You ask, "So like a date?" He answers, "If you don't want it to be one, no. If you do, yes." You reply, "I do want it to be a date." He smiles and replies, "Great, uh the babysitter should be here in 30 minutes and we'll head out after that." You nod.

You get ready for dinner and you leave with Art to a nice Italian restaurant where you both eat yummy pasta. You also drink some wine and you talk. It's nice to be together.

Now, Art stays in your bed every night and you cuddle. Lily has her own bedroom and Spots stays with her at night. You're happy.

Art's divorce is finalized and you get married the next day at the courthouse with Lily present. You go on a honeymoon to Hawaii :)

[enzoarweq]

(im talking about the characters q!, not the cc!)

imo no one else seems to understand the landduo/foolhalo relationship is much much deeper than "he's a friend who annoys me and i love to annoy him" or "they are secretly in love" in fact i might be as bold as to say NO ONE does till this day. which is pretty funny how they understand and notice the littlest things about each other but no one can see their deep bond despite that... tho to be fair Bad has said multiple times that he praises Foolish till high heaven from his skills, smarts, to his good looks but he would never ever admit it or say it to his face. (he RARELY does actually so when it happens, we all cheer and die) same for foolish.

Jaiden, who is probably one of the closest to Foolish rn said recently no one else takes Foolish srsly or that they are like outcasts of the island or that no one cares for Leo (para). and im like um theres literally Bad who cares a lot for Foolish and Leo. and has said multiple times that he is much more intelligent than ppl have granted him to be (but ofc she doesn't know, she doesn't know the early moments where they would hang out together almost all the time, constant banter, she doesn't know of THE convo where Bad literally for his advice and was treating and talking to him like two gamemasters in equal footing talking about the games they will play, she doesn't know should anything happen to Bad, he left Dapper in Foolish's care, Foolish constantly leaves Leo in Bad's care, she doesn't know that Leo loves and adores his Tio Bad, she doesn't know a lot of their "true hidden" relationship/sides, she doesn't know how easy Foolish can read Bad like an open book like that mine roulette game which i think she participated but not when both bad and foolish were playing iirc etc etc) not to mention theres also Roier who cares a lot for Leo and vice versa and constantly thinks about her (but this post about foolhalo so i digress)

There was also that moment with Bagi and Tubbo where they were like go ahead and cage Foolish or smtg. like daring Bad to do it. Bad was like aww thats no fun, its boring (cuz yk theres no song and dance, theres no arguing back n forth, it was just that). so when foolish shows up and bad was like hey could u step in ig *shrugs* Foolish was like urgh ok ig. I still remember Bagi's and Tubbos reaction, they were like mildly surprised. like ok what now. Bagi then said to Foolish, hey Bad is insane. Foolish then replied, yeah i fcking knew that already (in a so what tone) and again, Bagi seemed slightly taken aback. Tubbo then went on a rant about them being in love or smtg idk.

or the time when Bad would make a torture chamber for Foolish which he willingly went along cuz why not. and ppl were making angst about it as if Foolish didn't just walk into the torture chamber willingly to play a fun torture game with Bad smh.

also the time when Foolish was hiding his hurt over Leo's absence but Bad knew deep inside he feels deeply. that time where Foolish will run away from everyone else when confronted about his feelings but finally stood silently besides Bad in comfort, instead of a hug. (wasn't Jaiden there for that?)

--

theres soooo many foolhalo landduo moments where so many fans just blatantly ignore, like they have selective memory. genuinely confuses me everytime, like are we even watching the same POV.

theres also a lot of moments where ppl were gen mad at bad for the pranks n shit, like its 2023 ppl, we've been thru with this already in dsmp, do better pls. (ik them be new fans but still urgh)

[maryhadalittlehobby]

Recap of my experiences at the IWTV Premiere April 30, 2024

I found out about if from one of the most unlikiest sources. A person I thought was an even bigger fandom lurker than myself😅 I wasn't even gonna ask but I said fuck it, maybe they know someone who knows someone. And they did but said people were under ndas. Initially said they couldn't say but then last minute said they believe they knew where it was going to be.

I didn't say anything because 1) I didn't want them or their friend to get in trouble by spreading the info. 2) possibly spread misinfomation if that wasn't the place and 3) nobody asked lol

I thought I would just show up and see what I could see. In the past I have done this at a Walking Dead premiere. At that event it turned out that they had a lobby full of props that anyone could enter and take pics of. They even had walkers roaming around. Then the kicker-I got into that TWD premiere TICKETLESS by pure accident! So why not fuck around and find out again.

I put on a "closet cosplay" of Claudia in the upcoming yellow dress using all stuff I already owned and headed out.

I walked up to Mckittrick hotel, asked if there was a standby or waiting list but the person said they didnt know. There was a lot of important looking people surrounded with guards double checking lists and whatnot so I gave up that angle and loitered around with the other 15 or so fans who found the location too hoping to just see a glimpse of our favs.

Didn't have to wait to long as one by one they started showing up. The first one I noticed was Delainey and she slayed in that black sheer number. She was soft-spoken and a little shy but took her time and signed/took pictures with all the people who were there. Not sure if she knew I was cosplaying Claudia but she did compliment my contacts.

I had all my pics on motion video so if I didnt like the actual pic there was a few frames of vid to pick from as well. The actual video is a bonus! Too bad I can only link 1 video here but a lot of vids are on my IG in the highlight. Same name!

Then Sam came. As soon as he exited the car the wind blew his hair back and I lost my train of thought. He is pretty and his eyes are a lighter shade of blue than they look in pics. Also he is blonder! And so slim! The suit they had him in was a fun nod to vintage suits.

He too complimented my contacts! In the vid he is asking me questions about them but as soon as I take the pic another fan was yelling his name and grabbed his attentionl. Not mad lol I probably would have gotten less coherent the more I talked😅

Jacob showed up soon after-all smiles. What a cutey. He was damn near falling in the garbage they had us lowly non invites next to trying to contort this way and that to sign and take pics. Again-so small! And he too complimented my contacts😁 if the suit would have been properly tailored( the pants looked to long!) It would have been slay

Not gonna lie I kinda blacked out after meeting Sam so my memory with jacob is fuzzy.

Assad and Luke arrived together shortly after but got whisked away pretty quickly so I didn't get a pic with them. Eric was the very first to arrive and despite me being there I missed him too.

But I was sooo happy getting the unholy family little else mattered. I contemplated waiting after but I was BUZZING with adrenaline and starving lol. My fandom plug said she did come after and met EVERYONE and their momma. Cast and crew alike and they were still happy to engage even after their long night❤️

Finally Fang Gangers, please do not repost/ reupload/ or screenshot anything of mine as your content. Linking back / sharing is ok.

🖤🧛🏾‍♀️

[coreancitizen]

'Marry My Husband' episode 12

Some thoughts before tomorrow's episode 13 of "Marry My Husband"

The Yura character — She wasn't introduced out of the blue. She'd been mentioned often enough and teased enough from the beginning that she was bound to show up. I figured it was going to be some kind of stunt casting because the show was hiding her face. Lost on me though, I have no idea who the actress is.

Yura is not in the webtoon — Yes. But she is in the webnovel, on which the series is actually based on. Whether she's the best character/plot the writers of the series could have picked up from the novel is debatable. But they definitely needed something for the leads after the wedding because in the webtoon, the focus pretty much shifts to Minhwan and Sumin's growing misery as well as Juran's domestic troubles.

Jiwon's reaction to Yura's appearance — OK, this is the part that has caused quite a bit of uproar. What I'm getting is that folks are confused, angry at Jiwon because Jihyuk and Huiyeon both explained he didn't cheat on her and yet she cut off the relationship just like that.

I agree this is about cheating, but I think folks may be looking at it wrong — Jiwon was looking at Yura as the one being cheated on, not her. That in this scenario, she, Jiwon, is the other woman. Like her mom who made the one-sided decision to cut off her relationship with her dad and leave them both, Jihyuk made the one-sided decision to call off his longtime engagement to Yura. This was underscored by the flashback at the beginning of episode 12, when young Jiwon comes across Dad sobbing as he watches Mom with another guy. "... no matter how long you endure, those left behind get hurt. No matter what the relationship is, once it's started, I don't think it's right for one person to end it one-sidedly."

Why didn't she listen to Jihyuk or Huiyeon? Because, like Jiwon said, everything sounded like an excuse. The hurt from long ago was blocking all logic for her. Plus, I don't think she really had time to process because they were immediately hit with the whammy that is Manager Yang's cancer diagnosis. There's that whole "oh shit, I transferred my miserable fate to one of my favorite people" mind fuck on top of all this.

Also, she doesn't know what a witch Yura is (hearing about it and seeing it for herself are very different things) . Once Jiwon finds out and then gets the reminder of how shitty her mom is, she goes to see Jihyuk. Doesn't talk to him but it is a step toward him. I can't be mad at that.

Could this angst have been handled better? Absolutely, given how confused people got.

Anyway, this would all be resolved in tomorrow's episode, I feel. Preview shows Jiwon by Jihyuk's side at the hospital. Don't think she'll be stepping back after that and we'll get our power couple in action again soon.

[jolyneart]

This'll be a long-ish post about my The Locked Tomb themed MTG deck and how I made like 20 versions of it before I decided to build it (and how I'm still working on it).

(I want to do legit art for this card)

If you are part of the Venn diagram of these two interests, or you want to see my slow descent into madness ovear a year of trying to put cardboard together, check the spoilers below.

So, I haven't been playing Magic for too long (a bit over a year). Weirdly I have owned cards since original Ixalan, but I never bothered learning to play until a friend invited me to play commander. I just wanted them for the pretty pictures, I have always admired Magic artists and they have been a huge inspiration on my art career.

Anyways, not too long after I started to play, I got this idea into my head that I should do a Locked Tomb commander deck.

"That'd be fun!" I thought

Well

All of these are over a year old (and are not my only first attempts, but I'll talk about those later).

I had two main issues when starting to build this deck:

1- I have never been interested into deck-building before in a card game

2- I have no fucking idea of what I'm doing

The first commander I chose to lead this deck, that I still think thematically fits within TLT universe, is Ratadrabik of Urborg

This Rat of a man has given me so many headaches, I'm sure that now I'd be able to do make a half-decent deck with him in the lead, hell I do have a black/white aristocrats deck that he could command just fine.

But my issue was that I had no idea how to balance his legends theme and zombie kindred theme at the same time, in the same deck. I was just incapable. And all of my results, budget or not, were jank piles that did very little or exploded into an infinite combo with cards like Boromir, Warden of the Tower or Nazgul. It just didn't feel right and the Locked Tomb theme was barely holding on by a thread with the things I was putting in there. There were barely ANY skeletons in any of these! (this will keep happening)

Anyways, after giving up on Ratadrabik (which btw I think would make for a great Ianthe proxy) I moved on to find some other commander and color combination that'd enable something else that wasn't a pile of legendary creatures.

Queue in Varina, Lich Queen

It's a Zombie Wizard! She cares about zombies, those are kind of early skeletons! She raises the undead herself!

Well, I do think Varina is great, and in other world where I knew how to build decks back then, she might just have been my Harrow commander deck

I don't even think the decks I made for her were that bad at all, just extremely expensive. And also the zombie theme, while much better supported mechanically, I didn't feel really represented the kind of necromantic powers we see in the books at all.

Shoutout to Mikaeus, he'd make for a great Jod if anyone wants to make a deck about our lord and savior the undying emperor.

Ok, now I'm going to take a bit of a detour to talk about what I actually like playing in mtg (not just commander). I predictably really enjoy playing black and graveyard strategies, but also really love putting big idiot beaters into the field with those strategies .I know, groundbreaking. But it is what it is, two of my favourite decks do this in one way or another.

God's perfect deck, my Sauron deck, was my first precon, that has left the lands of preconstruction long ago and is my dearest possession. Is it my most powerful deck? nope. Is it unbeatable? Not really, I almost never win with this deck.

What BIG Sauron does is, in an extremely thematic way, become a problem for everyone at the table, do evil things, and have everyone beat me down for my reanimation crimes.

If you are interested, you can check out that deck here.

Anyways sorry, back to the locked tomb, SO I like the graveyard right? Wouldn't it be nice that there'd be a famous woman necromancers in mtg? What if she leaded the deck?

Well, the most that I can say is that there really can be too much of a good thing. I'm talking about swamps.

Initially I had these two running around in the Ratadrabik deck. I still stand by the idea of having these flip walkers be young Harrow/Gideon and flip them into their "First House" versions. The Gideon/Kiriona and Kytheon/Gideon thing still drives me insane.

I was too sad discarding them, so I grabbed the Lilly card and tried to make it work, I really tried, I put on a lot of effort and care. But it didn't work, it wasn't her, it was me.

I built a pretty generic aristocrat shell, but I think that type of archetype really benefits of having more colors to work with (specially white).

So, with three commanders locked in the tomb (I also tried a Gut rakdos deck but I'm not even going to talk about it), what was next? I spent months on these and still had nothing to show for it. Was I the problem? Was I cursed with bad deck dissease?

No, that cannot be. I'm building other decks while this is going on and those are doing just fine. Lae'zel//Master Chef, Gandalf Big Artifacts. The issue might be that the head of the deck is always caring for just the one thing, there was not much diversity. I kept making Necromancers but had no Cavaliers to back them up.

If there could just be a way to have two little guys up there in the command zone. Wait a minute...

So, this was truly a jank fest. Partner is an extremely strong mechanic in commander, and Tymna is specially strong as a card to have access early. So I decided to justify using these to make the biggest pile of nonsense happen.

Equipment? check. Initiative? check. Skeletons? check. Zombies? check. Graveyard? check. Lifegain? check.

While goldfishing I realized that while the commanders do a great job to sustain the rest of the deck, the ammount of themes and archetypes made this a pile of cards that I can barely call a deck. And worst of all, they enabled two pretty strong commanders, and that didn't feel that'd be satisfactory at all in actual play.

I even prepared proxies for these! Feel free to use them if you want.

Also, I tried the whole partner thing swapping out Tymna for Ikra Shidiqi. Bringing out another whole color didn't help with the theme soup I was working with.

So I wholy abandoned the idea of both partners, and maybe even making this deck.

Maybe my hopes and dreams of having a functional silly lesbians and skeletons deck were doomed (yuri) from the beginning.

Months pass, I built 3 or 4 other decks in the meantime that work, can compete and be fun, sometimes all at the same time if you'd believe it. I had completely lost faith in this deck idea.

All until one day, were I was checking out a pile of cards I had pulled from the recent MH3 set to put them into my binder. And then I see it. There he was, this fucking guy with a shovel(?), looking at me.

I read again his fairly big wall of text, what does this guy do again?

Oh, he does necromancy stuff? attacks? wait wait, he draws POWER from the GRAVEYARD?? in JUND?

He really saved it. Not only I feel this perfectly represents the dynamics of Cavalier is in charge of creating enough thanergy for their necromancer, but ALSO does the necromancer thing, and ALSO loves having like 10 power and beating down face. This was a message, the dream was still alive.

So, I make a list, I order cards, I scrounge cards from my other black decks. And there it is. It's real

The Locked Tomb Griddlehark Commander Deck

But... that's not how my list looks right now. Yeah I know this deck is cursed into being always changing I think. But, the main issue here was what I said before. It had to pull cards from multiple decks to sustain itself. And I learned quickly that I don't like having my baby, my Sauron, being not functional, and that keeping track of what cards are where and swapping them out constantly sucks tremendously.

So, I pulled back most of the cards to their original decks. What was left was a corpse, a beautiful incomplete deck. So I selected cards from my collection, lower powered ones, niche ones, weird ones, and put them in for their more powerful counterparts.

It's function is extremely simple, it fills it's graveyard quickly, ramps, and with Coram on the battlefield, you turn that self-mill into card advantage, the graveyard into a power source and bring back powerful creatures like the Resurrection Beasts (Eldrazi)

There also are skeletons in there, of course.

This deck needed to die many deaths to exist. But isn't that the theme?

I'll make sure to put up the new decklist on my moxfield whenever I get a few upgrades.

[pancakeke]

I made a customer so mad on a call today that he muted and turned his camera off lol.

I did it on purpose though.

We needed to create a process but this dude always dominates the convo to give long pointless monologues about how *something* needs to be done in relation to vague nonspecific things (like "I don't like what I'm seeing here" ok then WHAT are you seeing??) He absolutely refuses to give concrete details or make actionable requests, plus he's always extremely disrespectful, accusatory, and lies about things. So I kept cutting off his unhelpful monologues to ask for specifics and when he didn't give them I gave options for what we could do rather than letting him continue to make the same whiny statements over and over but with different wording each time.

Then he tried to derail by doing this needlessly dramatic arm waving and wandering away from the camera thing, then wandering back with his head in his hands while saying weird phrases I assume were some kind of worthless business speak phrases? (Example, the last one he said was "Just take the weekend off". Maybe this means like "we need to take a break and regroup"? I legit do not know the intent. I directly asked "What do you mean by that?", no paraphrasing, but he ignored me so maybe he was telling me to go fuck myself. idk).

Anyway I kept being direct and trying to sort out a plan of action with our salesperson meanwhile this dude kept interjecting with absolutely asinine statements like "YOU need to figure this out" referring to my company, not me specifically. But like that was literally what we were doing at that moment?? So I asked him "Are you asking us to create new procedures without your company's input? Ideally need to know specifically where you're having issues to know how I should create reporting." Then he shut his webcam and mic off.

Progress was made at this point since he wasn't interrupting anymore but that didn't last long cause he jumped back in to make a big deal about how he couldn't stay on the call longer because he had another meeting soon. But if he has just explained that in one sentence rather than monologuing about his time we could have made more actual plans.

idk if this guy is purposely trying to stop us from creating a process though cause he blew up at us when we had extra inventory on hand (that he told us to buy) which then led him to tell us that we weren't allowed to make any purchases for them without approval. After this we sent a purchase request over to them for approval and they didn't approve it (we were ghosted, not denied), which made this guy is blow up at us again for not just buying the components immediately without asking.

I think he just wants us to do whatever benefits him in the moment and also he doesn't ever want us to hold his company accountable (per our contract...) for any unused components. and since documentation and processes creates accountability, they're bad for someone who wants instant gratification and no responsibility.

This call was so fucking bewildering though. It was like this guy had a book of business speak phrases and thought that if he kept reading them off he would look smart and important and then we would just flagellate ourselves at his feet. Even though the problem is pretty much his fault for not managing his side of the business. These guys have turned derailing conversation into a goal so I went robot mode and wouldn't let myself say a word that wasn't data-focused. I really hoped this would force their side to speak in numbers and facts so I could get info and ideas from them that we could actually use to build a new procedure.

But now I see that my plan was doomed from the start cause this guy will just disappear if I don't let him spend the whole meeting listening to himself talk while not actually saying anything.

I have some kind of brain problem where I always think that if I can figure out how to communicate with people in juuust the right way they'll stop being cunts and cooperate with me. Cause I'm working for their benefit so they should want to work together, right? :)

Wrong. People are fucking bonkers. They do not care about problem solving. It's all about ego. And somehow their egos do not recognise how purposely creating problems leads to failures that might reflect poorly on them.

[canirove]

My neighbour Rúben | Chapter 7

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

“Lucy, what are you doing here?”

“I live here” she chuckled. “Why so surprised?”

“I wasn’t expecting you until later.” 

“I can tell… Are you hiding someone in your room?”

“What?” I asked. 

“I saw the beer bottles in the living room, and I don’t see you drinking all that on your own.”

The beers. Oh, good. I was so… gone after saying goodnight to Rúben and his kiss, and also so worried about Julia, that I had totally forgotten about them.  

“No, no. I shared them with Rúben.”

“Oh my God, is he in your room?” Lucy asked, lowering down her voice.

“What? No! He just stayed for a bit after we put Julia to bed, nothing else” I said, my face definitely looking bright red.

“Just a bit? I counted six beers.”

“Ok, fine. Maybe it was a bit longer.”

“And did anything happen?” Lucy asked with a playful smile.

“No. We just talked.”

“Really? You were drinking with a man like that and nothing happened?”

“Yeah” I shrugged. But it could have happened. I’m pretty sure he was planning on kissing me before Julia woke up.

“Do you like him?”

“What?”

“Rúben. Do you like him? Because I think he likes you.”

“He doesn’t like me” I snorted, crossing my arms over my chest. Why was I acting so… defensively?

“I met him not long after Julia was born, and he had never invited us to a game or come over for a movie night. Though it would have been a bit weird, because my ex was super jealous of him.”

“He was jealous of Rúben?”

“Oh, he was. Rúben has always adored Julia, he loves kids. And every time we crossed paths he would ask about her, make her laugh… those cute things. And my ex would get so mad… More than once our arguments started because he was jealous, thinking that I was flirting with Rúben when I was just being nice.”

“What a dick. He was the one actually doing the cheating, not you.” Because that was the reason why he and Lucy had divorced. He had been cheating on her with Julia’s piano teacher, and she probably wasn't the first.

“Exactly! So you can imagine our fight when I found out. It was… nasty.”

“I’m sorry, Lucy.”

“Oh, don’t be. I’m so much better like this… And I am not interested in Rúben in any shape or form beyond admiring how hot he is. He is all yours” she winked.

“I don’t…”

“Mami!” Julia said behind me, running towards her mum. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“So have I, princesa.”

“I am not a princess, I am Queen Elsa! She is the princess, princess Anna" she explained. "And Rúben is Kristoff.”

“Is he?” Lucy said, looking at me. “Isn’t he Anna’s boyfriend?”

“He is. But oh, mami, I have to show you the doll I got on my Happy Meal last night!” Julia said, jumping from her mother’s arms and running away.

“Anna and Kristoff, uh? Even Julia knows.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“You won’t believe what Julia’s teacher told me yesterday when I met with her” Lucy said. Since this weekend Julia was with her dad, we met to have lunch together just the two of us and organize everything for the traditional Christmas party all the neighbours celebrated together. Each year a different one was the host, and it was her turn.

“Is she struggling?”

“Oh, no, she is doing great. She actually is one of the best in her class, so I guess I have to thank you for that. But this was about a personal matter.”

“Personal? What do you mean?”

“Apparently, kids have been asking Julia if she has two mums, because someone is going around saying that the reason why my ex and I got divorced, was that I cheated on him with the piano teacher. You.”

“No way” I gasped, almost choking with my drink.

“Yep. You suddenly showed up one day, Julia said you were her piano teacher, there had been rumours about one being the cause of our break up, and they decided that that was what had happened. They believe that I sacked my old nanny and that it is you now taking care of Julia because we can finally live our love and don't have to hide anymore.”

“I… wow" I chuckled. "What about Julia, tho? What has she told the other kids? Because she hasn’t said anything to me.”

“She doesn’t understand what they mean. But her teacher told me that if they ask again, she’ll explain to them that Julia has a mum and a dad, and use that to explain to them that these days there are different types of families and they all are valid.”

“Oh, good. And the mums? Are you gonna tell them something?”

“Nah, it isn’t worth it. I’ll just wait until one day you show up with Rúben and leave them confused” Lucy smirked while taking a sip of her wine. 

“Lucy…”

“Sorry, I’m sorry. But I already told you. I think he likes you, and you definitely like him. And I know you don’t have much experience with guys and dating, but trust me, he is one of the good ones. I don’t know if he is your one or not, but whatever happens, it will be worth it” she winked, making me blush. Because I knew what was crossing her mind in that moment. “Anyway, there is something else we must discuss.”

“About the party?”

“No, but it has to do with my apartment. One of the things the mums at the school are gossiping about is that you and I are living together. And to be honest, we kind of are, aren't we? So I think we should make it official. You should move in with Julia and I.”

"I don't know, Lucy...”

“Like I said, you are basically living with us already. You have your own room and most nights you sleep there, so why pay the rent for your apartment and have to worry about missing the bus, when you could just live with us and save all that money?”

“I guess it makes sense. But are you sure? What if one day you want to bring someone home and I am there?”

“Then I’ll kick you out and send you to Rúben’s house.”

“Lucy…”

“Sorry, sorry” she apologized again. “But it is an option. And if you move in with us, it means you can see him more often, get to know each other a bit more, and see if there is something going on. I think it is a win-win situation, and Julia would love it.”

“Fine, ok” I said after thinking about it for a few seconds. It all made sense, didn't it? The Rúben part included. “I’ll move in with you.”

“Great!” Lucy said, clapping her hands just as Julia does when she gets excited. “Let’s order some champagne to celebrate.”

“I thought we were meeting to organize the party” I chuckled.

“Oh, yes. We can do that later” she replied, calling for the waiter.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Oh, for fucks sake!” I yelled, sitting on the floor. 

It was moving day, everything was going wrong and it was all my fault.

I thought I could do it all by myself, but turns out that I had way more shit than I remembered, and I ended up with two huge suitcases and a bunch of boxes, all of them very close to exploding. Which was what had happened the moment I made it to our floor. 

I left one of the boxes on top of a suitcase but it wasn’t well balanced. When I saw it was falling I tried to catch it, failed, and both the box and the suitcase fell to the floor, making a horrible noise that I’m sure everyone in the building had been able to hear. And to make it even worse, the suitcase’s zipper had broken and half my clothes were scattered all over the floor.

While I was picking everything and cursing, I heard a door opening. 

“Please don’t be Rúben, please don’t be Rúben” I said under my breath.

“What the hell happened here? Are you ok?” Rúben said, bending down next to me.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. My suitcase, not so much.”

“Let me help you” he said, picking up some of my clothes. Or to be precise, a bag full of knickers. 

“I don’t need help with this” I said, quickly grabbing the bag from his hand, my face burning. “But you could pick those boxes over there and bring them inside.”

“Ok” he smirked. Because even though I wasn’t looking at his face due to how emabarrased I was, his voice was saying it all. “Are you sure you don’t need help with that suitcase?”

“I…” I needed help. The zipper was completely broken and I wasn’t strong enough to carry it. He, with his big arms, definitely was. “Ok. But don’t open it.”

“I won’t, I promise.” 

As expected, he lifted it with ease and I followed him inside the house while carrying the other suitcase. 

“Where should I put this?”

“My room. Over here.”

“Are you… are you moving in with Lucy and Julia?” Rúben asked after leaving the suitcase on the floor.

“I am, yes. Lucy thought it was the best idea since I spend most of my time here.”

“Are gonna be proper neighbours?”

“We are, yes.”

“Well, my door will always be open for you. Whatever you may need.” 

When he said that, I made the huge mistake of looking at him… and there it was. That smirk that made my knees feel like jelly. 

“Thank you” I muttered. “And for helping me too.”

“Do you need anything else?”

“The will to unpack all of this” I sighed.

“If you aren't in the mood for it, why don’t we go out somewhere? The Christmas market is already open, so we could have a look, get a hot chocolate...”

“Are you allowed to drink hot chocolate?” I chuckled.

“I am allowed to eat and drink many things. I just choose not to do it because I like being healthy. But when you are around, I can’t help but sin.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It is worth it” he smiled. But it wasn’t one of those smirks he liked giving me when he was being cheeky. This was different. This was an honest smile, though there was something else there…

“Rúben!” Julia said, running into my room and throwing herself at him. “Why are you here? Are we watching "Frozen" again?”

“Oh, hello” Lucy said from the door. “Didn’t know we had company.”

“I was just helping with the move.”

“One of my suitcases exploded in the hallway” I explained. “Anyway, why are you here? Weren’t you going to the park?”

“We were” Lucy said. “But Julia saw the lights of the Christmas market, wanted us to go there, and I had forgotten my wallet. That’s why we came back.”

“Do you want to come with us?” Julia asked. “We are going to buy decorations for the tree.”

“Oh, yes, come with us! We can have like a welcome party there and get ourselves some hot chocolate. Do you drink hot chocolate, Rúben?” Lucy asked, making us laugh. “Why is that funny? Am I missing something?”

“Nothing, don’t worry” Rúben said. “But I like the idea of the welcome party. I’m in.”

“Then it is settled. It’s three against one, and we can’t have a welcome party without the main guest. Get a scarf and a hat, it is cold” Lucy said, not giving me a chance to complain.

[rowretro]

𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

WARNINGS: Drugs, Gambling, Illegal racing (a bit of a shitty chapter, do tell me what needs improving)

✧CHAPTER 1✧

Underground gamblers, laundromat owners, unfortunate girls, Bodyshop workers all were flooding the Rave. Y/n was simply smoking her weed in the back, downing large gulps of straight vodka, as she vibe with her dancing friends. It was all going pretty smoothly, when suddenly he walked in.

The boy from school, the new one. His name as pretty as his face. Nishimura Riki. He had got back from one of his illegal racing matches, winning as always. Their eyes met, purple lights flashing, speakers booming, Music blasting, but it all paused for a moment. Of all places he'd never expect the perfume girl to be at an illegal rave.

Leaving the wild party, y/n sat there in the moonlight, a joint in one hand, lollipop in her mouth. "So this is why you always come to school drenched in perfume?" Riki suddenly said as y/n frowned, turning to him. She was unsure as to why he was talking to her, but also she loved it. "Hmm yeah..." the girl trailed off, as Riki stared at the sky. "The sky looks so pretty... so glittery you know? that big circle diamond has all the spotlight tho-" the girl blurted, pointing at the moon.

"The moon?... yeah, so pretty, did you know the moon ha-" before he could go on with his moon fact, the girl placed her joint between his lips. "I'm too high to learn about space pretty boy-" she slurred, a little drunk, her tired eyes, meeting his slightly shocked ones. "Why are you talking to me anyway? we barely know each other new boy-" the girl added as Riki smirked.

Why was he there? simply because his friend Heeseung had a baby sister that needed to be dragged out of a rave. That baby sister was of course y/n. It's quite a shame she didn't actually recognise him, but also quite flattered by the way she had stars in her eyes, when she studied his face. Riki tilted his head, as he studied her features. Was she the most attractive girl? Not exactly but she was definitely pretty.

Her eyes may be slightly uneven, but it wasn't visible, both so pretty in their own ways, her nose, was one many people would want, though she hated it. her cute lips, so perfect and pretty, she had one hell of a jawline, it in fact looked like his. Glitter painting her eyelids, cheeks, some on her forehead, her long falsies looking oh so natural on her eyelids, her lipstick slightly fading.

Y/n took a long deep puff of her roll up, sucking on her lollipop shortly after. "You want me to drop you off?" Riki asked as the girl frowned "You a serial killer stranger?" y/n slurred as the male blinked "No- just offering you a ride..." Riki said as the girl took one last puff of her joint, slightly burning her lips as she did so. "What's the worst that can happen... ok-" She mumbled, as she stumbled up, Riki offered his hand as the girl smacked it away.

She silently followed him to his car. "You a racer or something?" y/n asked as she got into the car, obviously noticing that it was in fact a modelled car especially for racing, not failing to notice the designs painted on "Yeah, One of the bet ones in fact." the male added as he started driving her home. "I heard you used to race too hmm?" Riki asked as y/n nervously hugged her self, her nails scratching at her arm "Yeah used to... Now I prefer to just work at the Bodyshop" y/n simply answered. Riki glanced at her, noticing how uncomfortable she seemed, immediately changing the subject.

"Kay Cherry joints girl- you have arrived at your destination" Riki smiled as y/n frowned at the strange nickname, she mumbled a thanks, leaving him a cherry lollipop before leaving the car. She was immediately met with her brother, mad and worried, he dragged her in quickly, letting her rest in his room. "Lee y/n are you crazy?! dad's here today if he saw you you'd be dead you know?!!!" the male nagged, whisper yelling at her as she just whined. "You're lucky our neighbour's my best friend, had he not dragged you out any sooner, dad would have hacked off your legs!" Heeseung added.

Her goddamn neighbour?! the Nishimura Riki?!!! too bad she's way too high to process this heavy flow of information she is recieving...

✧𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓✧