#ok anyway. what even happens in it
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the bible is FOUR THOUSAND PAGES????????? girl
#i wasnt raised religious ive literally never touched a bible#i dont think ive even been in the same room as one#but FOUR. THOUSAND. when do you even get the chance to read it jesus fucking christ#lol sorry isnt that blasphemy I CANT STOP#ok anyway. what even happens in it#blah blah!
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no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh
#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanart#ahsoka tano#captain rex#anyway i bring you this a) because i'm going back to my tcw roots of late and b) because i miss them terribly#as you can see because i can't handle reality i put her in the novel design#cause wdym they split up after order 66 haha what no that didn't happen you're crazy#read it however you want idc ^^)b any interpretation of their dynamic is the best one i think#yea anyway in this amount of time i've gotten a lot better at anatomy and i don't really care about social media anymore#but i have like nowhere to put my art now so *shrug*#star wars the clone wars#artists on tumblr#i've wanted to do one of those post-type drawings and i am .-+ too lazy +-. to color it sooo#signature got cropped sigh. whatever#if you see a mistake no you don't. you know the drill#also i finally watched bad batch season 3 around christmastime and hewiutgeh.#singlehandedly took the show from a 4 to a 10 for me so thx dave filoni we love u as always >>>#lowk kinda missed it here *gazes fondly at the bot spam and screaming and cursing in my feed*#btw i have never used instagram in my life so if this is formatted wrong it's your fault. bye#someone tell me whether or not i should tag this as rxsk because i am very much debating#does tumblr even like them anymore ?? i know ao3 does they're still going crazy over there (>1k works God bless)#“bro's first post back and she's yapping her head off” cmon you know me by now anyway can we talk about season 7 ahsoka#i find no fault in her. she is perfect. she is the greatest version of any star wars character ever at all#no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told her about fives. no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told echo#ok that's enough bye i'll wait for this to get four notes at most and three of them being comments screaming at me#one more thing uhh suspend your disbelief since anakin liked the post. rots didn't happen and everything is fine !!#my art
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been thinking about the sinnohtrio lately......plus misc other stuff
also, casual ko-fi drop!! get something in this sketchy style starting at $10 woop woop
#finally decided to do a commission test run u_u#pokemon#trainer lyra#trainer kris#trainer dawn#trainer lucas#rival barry#rival silver#ayalumi#hisuian zorua#luxio#timeskip tag#rkgk#anyway it's sinnoh time !!!#still figuring out their designs and lore but this works for now#god's specialest little guys & their very normal bestfriend who they would kill/die for. up to interpretation who is killing/dying#dawn is the platinum protag who meets giratina and becomes champion#distortion world affected her way more than compared to cynthia and cyrus since she's still a developing kid. but hey cool ghost hair!#4-5 yrs later lucas gets blasted to hisui..lost his memory for the three years he's there and when arceus sends him back he's just like Man#the entire time barry is CHILLING PLAYING HAVING FUN#and forever worried abt his friends ): dawn & lucas are soo nonchalant about what happened to them it's a bit concerning to everyone else#design comments umm the only thing that matters is that they still have their og scarves 👍#and i guesss these are spring/summer outfits. winter dawn gets leggings and big coat ok. she already has too much yin energy#btw i use the cleanse tag as the direct opposition to the spell tag even tho that's probably not a real thing LOL)#oh yea barry wears the tower master ribbon 24/7. tower tycoon in training and won't shut up about it (i love him)#character dynamics i will talk abt that in another post if i feel like it... these days i just want to go replay pla aughh
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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sin eater
#sorry its been a minute!!! the horrors. you understand.#anyways yall ready for another gloom tag essay because here we go!!!#im constantly thinking about the ramifications of uzi literally eating cyn and her now being apart of her.#specifically how it impacts uzi mentally. like dgmw i LOVE the silly cyntail shenanigans in fanart (ive also contributed to this) however#when i really think about it in relation to uzi's arc i go crazy insane#uzi is a character who is grasping for control after a lifetime of not having it.#she has no control over how her peers treat her. she has no control over khan neglecting her for reasons that arent her fault.#she quite literally has no control over the solver taking her over and making her do monstrous things against her will#which solidifies her feelings of being a freak monster who everyone was right to outcast and mistreat.#because im Unwell i interpret her calling herself god as a way to convince herself of having control- and to lock away feelings of impurity#if anyone is in control- if anyone is loved and cherished despite any and all wrong doings- its a god.#and that all comes to a head when she eats the heart of cyn thereby destroying the AS- a literal manifestation of a corrupted god- for good#finally taking back control from the entity that had been terrorizing and traumatizing both her and her loved ones. but did she really?#cyn is apart of her now. powerless sure- but that doesnt take away the horrors she wrought previously#and even so- has uzi ever stopped being just a host? do you think shes terrified of cyn regaining power out of the blue?#do you think uzi ever stops feeling like a monster?#“sin eating” was a thing that happened where someone would consume ritual foods to take on the sins of a recently deceased person#thus absolving said deceased person of any sins and putting them onto the sin eater. being a sin eater ensured eternal damnation.#and i just think about that a lot. when applying that (symbolically ofc(somewhat literally. she very much is a cyn eater)) to what uzi did.#“gloom you're reading way too much into this” THE LITTLE GOTH ROBOT. MAKES ME INSANE IN THE HEAD. OK!!!!!#gloom.art#murder drones#murder drones fanart#murder drones uzi#uzi murder drones#uzi doorman#uzi md#md uzi#uzi fanart
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TSV season 1 looks at the question "Why would anyone worship an evil god?" And answers "What other choice do we have?" What other choice do we have when the legacy of everyone we have ever loved and lost weigh heavy on our shoulders? What other choice do we have when there is some deep unfulfilled Want in us and this is the only thing that said it could complete us? What other choice do we have when this is our entire world from our home to our workplace to everything in between? What choice do we have when all we see is devastation from equally terrifying hungry beings that will surely kill us if our god doesn't protect us? What choice do we have when this is the only thing we have ever known?
And thing is even if you try to escape? This world won't let you. Most likely you are going to be dragged back kicking and screaming and turned into a grotesque monster against your will. Most likely someone with a gun to your head will keep you in check. And even if you do escape the god that has done nothing but taken from you and hurt you and destroyed you and killed you and broken you down and turned you into something horrid?
Well there's another one, just as hungry, just as wretched, just as evil, right behind you and waiting to eat embrace you.
#the silt verses#the silt verses spoilers#tsv#tsv spoilers#tsv podcast#tsv carpenter#tsv faulkner#tsv paige#tsv hayward#Tsv Vaughan#sister carpenter#brother faulkner#paige duplass#james hayward#the trawlerman#Sid wright#Reminder I am only on chapter 16 please no spoilers#Anyway I don't trust any of tsv gods and especially not the one following around Carpenter#Good for her for telling Trawlerman he ain't shit!!! Also really sorry and worried another one of these bitches is now after her#empty thoughts#Get her out of there she only Just got out of her shitty cult and now some smiley little shit is trying to get her to join another one#I DO NOT TRUST THAT THING!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS (according to transcripts it's called Cairn Maiden i think?)#Ok confession I was spoilt about Carpenter leaving Trawlerman for Cairn Maiden#but I was also spoilt about Paige apparently being jesus figure??#(I don't know what's that about but considering Paige wanted to make a kinder God I had suspicions)#So I thought the Cairn Maiden was actually Paige's new cult and she got sainted and corrupted and everything#and I was devastated about it#So I am glad that's not what is going to happen. I am so glad you all#Again DO NOT SPOIL ANYTHING FOR ME PLEASE
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i don't think wonderland is ready for those alices
#i have so so many things i could say about this cielois madness returns au (yeah that's what i call it. it's not even meant to be cielois)#(but like. ship names are convenient aren't they)#anyway so many things. but that would be a lot so i'll talk about it if someone asks or if i feel like it later#this post's rambles will be about the outfits!!#so. i gave ciel the dollhouse dress and alois the queensland dress#i know they could have been swapped. and it might have made more sense#HOWEVER#i do not care#i can and will put alois in red just because i want to. and of course i would give him a red fit in an amr fusion au#the vibes are rancid. it's perfect. that's what him being in this au is about!!#terrible things happen to children in kuro and in alice ok#anyway. i know queensland would be good for ciel because r!ciel BUT please envision queen luka i BEG#it's heartwrenching to see lizzie look so small in the game already so luka???? soul crushing. i want it.#now. the dollhouse dress for ciel#because of funtom mostly... and the vibes... and he's more of a doll than alois is ngl...#like. i know that it fits alois more because it's heavy on the trafficking and poverty parts but. see if i care#plus the minor theme of exorcising the evil of the city through the pain of children is more ciel-coded. so yeah#and he looks so bad in red oh my god i could not give him another dress... unless it was the mad hatter one and it would have been boring#also very much not fitting#you might notice that i changed the symbols on both of their aprons#in both cases i replaced female with male obviously but#in ciel's case the dollhouse dress has so many disgusting implications and i made them worse you're welcome <3#(replaced female with male and male with one of the symbols you can see on the contract seal. yeah yeah that's fucked i know)#(it's alice madness returns. and fucking black butler. bad things be happening to children!!)#anyway#that's it for my rambles#i got too lazy to do the vorpal blade and hobby horse light trails#so we'll live with the fact that my sketch has better vibes than the final piece#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart
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the bandaged man is not real & he cannot hurt you🕴️
BSD 121.5
#hovering in the corner of my room every night at 3am👹💕#Atsushi you ain’t special !! Dazai hallucinations also guide my daily living🙂↕️🫰#ok but FR FR I’ve sporadically dealt with sleep paralysis since high school😵💫💤#& when it happens I’ll often feel a presence trying to like spoon me lmao#what I’m trying to tell you is that it’s Dazai !!! REAL !🗣️#anyways I had this idea of sleep paralysis demon Dazai since chapter 121 but it works even better now😆💀#I made so many variations of this lmao maybe I’ll post more later#LOCK IN BABES🩵#dazai#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#dazai fanart#osamu dazai fanart#dazai osamu fanart#bsd#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs fanart#bungo stray dogs#bungo stray dogs fanart#artists on tumblr#artists of tumblr#anime#manga#bsd manga#bsd 121.5#bsd 121#digital art#sleep paralysis#sleep paralysis demon
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hello! how do you find consistent friends in fandom? as in, how do you find people who stick with you through different fandoms and listen and read your work. also, how long have you been writing for and how long did it take you to get so good at writing and character analysis.... your work is such an inspiration to me, genuinely one of my top 3 authors across ao3. i hope the writing goes well!
hey! this is really sweet, thank you very much for your lovely kind words. 💖
re: friendship: i don't mean to be a downer about this so i hope it doesn't come across this way, but i do think the concept of friends where you follow each other through all your fandoms and continue to read each other's work etc kind of... either doesn't exist or is just a rare phenomenon and not a 'type' of friend per se more than it is something that just happens out of luck. i am lucky enough to have friendships which have persisted through all of us changing fandoms, but the reason those friendships last is actually because we found connections that went beyond common interests. i think sharing a fandom/interest is great as an initial point of connection and a way to meet, but for a relationship to last, you need to have a deeper bond than both being into the same thing--so contrary to what you've asked about (oops sorry) those friendships im speaking of only last because we didn't follow each other into different fandoms, really. we didn't have to. along the same vein, i'd respectfully argue that it wouldn't be productive or fair of me to group 'reading my work' in as an element of friendship, so to speak--i definitely don't expect my friends to read my fic and vice versa, we all understand that we can support each other in our creative pursuits and lives in general / in the abstract without needing to be a fan of the same things or even necessarily being fans of each other's work (although of course it's always nice). i know this doesn't really answer your specific question but i hope it doesn't come across as pessimistic as it might sound. i truly and genuinely believe it's a positive thing that the idealised friendgroup traipsing through fandoms together doesn't really exist (or if it does exist, it's luck and not something to shoot for in itself), because this just tells me to look out for these great opportunities to form bonds that last beyond superficial interests.
in terms of how to make those friendships to begin with, im honestly even less help. my friendships kind of just happened to me. im actually quite terrible at reaching out to people and i am notoriously difficult to reach myself hahaha so honestly all the credit for my friendships goes to my friends for being patient and sticking with me despite that. i am honestly just very lucky in that i've been able to talk out loud into the void and have had wonderful people reach out to me because of it, but that's hardly a reliable strategy... i guess i'd encourage you to be more like my friends, who are the anime protagonists wielding the power of friendship to my prickly antagonist, or whatever. oh another thing to remember i guess is that some friendships just don't last this way and will stay within fandoms and may peter out, and that's ok. i don't consider those relationships less real or valuable for being less lasting.
re: writing: i want to caveat that i don't think i'm fairly able to say (or comfortable saying) that i'm particularly good at writing or character analysis, certainly not to an extent that i'd be willing to hold myself up as an example of it, but i really appreciate that you feel that way about my work and am incredibly honoured to be considered an inspiration in any capacity!!
with that disclaimer made, i'll do my best to answer for whatever it's worth. i've liked writing ever since i was a very little kid, but i will credit any actual progress i've made in developing the skill to writing fanfic because i think that being able to focus on building character and logical flow in plot progression over other things like creating characters, worldbuilding, inventing plots wholesale, etc--which has allowed me to sort of expedite those skills in particular and which i think are helpful in writing more broadly. (this also answers the 'character analysis' part specifically--when you don't have to/get to invent a character, you have to spend more time taking them apart.) anyway, i started writing fic about twelve or thirteen years ago, and there have been periods within that where i've progressed faster or slower depending what's going on in my life haha. i do think time played a massive role in any skill developments i've made, but i also know people take less time or more time to make similar progress (caveat again: progression is subjective, this is very approximate), so i think the other key ingredient besides time is engagement. if it's helpful, i went into that a little bit more here, but as stated i have a lot more to learn and would never present myself as an expert lol
#asks#sorry god i dont know if this is remotely helpful. probably not.#i dont know how to express in a measured way that im possibly the worst and least helpful person to ask about friendship#im very 'tch... friends... what the hell is up with that shit...' and then my beloved friends go 'ok dude' and care abt me anyway#so. i am sorry. im very little help on this front. ive learned a lot about 'friendship' in the abstract FROM my friends but#very little about how to MAKE friends like on purpose because my friends just kind of happened to me. because im lucky?#but i will say the perspective ive gained on friendship and what one can realistically expect from it has been very valuable#and has led me to value my friendships even more#anyway... tch... friendship... what the hell is up with that sh#rookthots#hi my friends reading this i love you
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Your favorite idol's favorite idol!
#oh ok tumblr deleted my tags. i think its for the best. i was rambling and complaining#anyway. im gonna try to finish all the wips in my gallery even if some im too embarassed to look at or they were supposed to be#part of bigger things or whatever#i would like to enjoy drawing again one day. writing too. not happening rn but what can you do. we stay sillyyy#except we dont. we stay panicky#my art#enstars#wataru hibiki#ensemble stars#good nightt
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guys i. literally last night i read a nonfiction piece at writer’s open mic. not that unusual. my favorite professor was there. Slightly unusual. afterwards he knelt down by me in TEARS and told me to never stop writing. boom. instantly started sobbing. what is WRONG WITH HIM
#it was a rough piece to read lowkey#it was like my history of being sexually harassed + religious trauma. which is a great combo#the nonfiction professor keeps trying to convert me and i’m like rachel i cannot publish all these pieces about people who could SEE THEM.#but then my friend suggested i publish under a pen name which is actually not a bad idea. so i’ll sleep on that#but anyway. chris wants me dead is the point#can he adopt me pleaseeeeeeeeeeee. he has the same name as my dad even.#what a crazy insane wonderful man. i really needed that lowkey#(and i KNOW this sounds fake ok but i swear it happened😭 i couldn’t even believe it and he was right in front of me. he is just Like That.)#this is the peak of my entire life i fear.
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I just told [Tee] we stuck for life now....all i said was 'we locked in for life'...we gonna be on trips the offseason now, he gonna see me on the regular.
#legitimately wedding vows as others have said!!#the way ja'marr is SO intense about his relationships#saying the most insane shit about his guys!! about the people he loves!!#i'm gonna bring it back to what i was saying earlier this week#where he was already part of an intense close friendship/WR duo#and that connection is still there ofc but justin went to a different team. things naturally faded a little.#he doesn't want that happening with tee!!#and now it won't! now they're locked for life!!#even IF things don't work out bengals wise - being part of the same agency#means they'll be doing offseason stuff together no matter what!#and it's like. ok. whose decision was this really#tee making a 'business decision'#(that inarguably could end up being bad business for him. at least in terms of guaranteed money)#to stay wtih ja'marr for life???#they love each other so much???#how much DID they talk about it???#just clinging together through all the chaos that is negotiating second nfl contract!!!#anyway! married!!! they're actually married!!!#ja'marr chase#tee higgins
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the only good thing to come out of D4 rise of red was the sapphic energy from the present and the past
#like ok red and chloe? enemies to lovers easy#bridget and ella? friends to lovers#but they broke up in high school and ella married charming;#anyway this wasn’t a good movie#this wasn’t even a good time travel movie#ik disney movies are 90min but another half hour dedicated to the big climax shouldve happened#the antagonists were weak; i thought there’d be more drama to it; it felt more like a betrayal and that ella had something to do w it#but it wasnt? just? what?#the mad hatter was not mad enough; also he introduced the time travel thing waaay too quick#i’ve read better fanfiction#descendants#disney’s descendants#descendants 4 rise of red#rise of red#descendants 4#so many characters served no purpose
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HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! here's some of my fave/most popular art I did in 2024 <3
#shroomer talks !#the last one is blurred because its spoilers#i wanted to finish it so badly before the end of the year but alas... i have a job#hopefully will be able to finish it tomorrow or the day after#anyways!! what a good run this year has been!!#its so funny most of these pieces were done in the last few months lol i did not like any of my drawings or even had any finished pre-augus#and then boom. south park happened.#and suddenly i was rejuvenated. like a fish in water#if ill be honest with you guys ive had some of the worst art block for last few years/been so incredibly unsatisfied with my art#and its only been since august where ive finally started becoming a bit more ok with the work ive produced#i dont necessarily think ive made anything that could be a magnum opus or whatever. i dont even think i can really go:#“yea. i did that. hell yea. this is amazing”#its more like a “yea. im starting to see growth. im going somewhere. i think.”#but thats way better than what it was before where i just straight up hated my art lol#i still kinda do hate it though but its starting to be less#or at the very least its in a more positive direction where im thinking “ok i hate it but im gonna try and learn from this”#anyways thanks all of you for sticking around with little old me <3#MORE SOUTH PARK CONTENT TO COME IN 2025!!#youre not getting rid of me that easily#south park#splatoon
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omg i just finished orv im going insane im im i can finally look at that doc of things i saved for after i finished orv and can look at spoilers...i can finally unblock that orv spoiler tag...im so normal about orv
#orv#orv novel spoilers#orv spoilers#bluris rambles#ok stop cause i was literally holding my goddamn breath for like. all the epilogues cause holy shit man holy shit#i was like if singnsong ends orv and doesnt give me any hope that the companions can someday get back not just part of kdj but all of him-#-i will fucking cry bc oh my god#but its ok im ok but also#when i couldnt scroll to the next page...#im#HRJKWANLFJK#also i had such a weird way of reading it. its been like 4 years since i technically started#but i stopped reading it a while back bc life happens rip#i wonder what it would have been like if i had finished the remainding 9% i originally had but just without any of the context i remembered#and then did the full reread#bc i reread only 91% of it technically speaking#i feel like i should reread the last 9% tbh hm#anyways wow it took me 6 months huh#im a slow reader xD#to be fair i was also reading other things#idk what im gonna do without orv as my fallback bc it was always there for me to read even when i finished other books along the way#mayhaps start a new novel whats that one with cale in it#oh yeah i gotta catch up on the webtoon that too#gotta reread tower of god too thats been on my list for way too long...#insert that meme where its like unfollow me right now bc im gonna be so unwell about orv sorry guys but also not sorry bc i finally finally#finished it#am gonna get me merch im so excited#also praying that all the links on that doc i made with buncha stuff like blogs to check out still work oop wish me luck#waht do you fucking mean hsy wrote the novel for kdj and she gave him a reason to live and yjh was created by her but also nr and also-#-kdj is oldest dream and oh my godddd oh my god and yjh going on that trip to spread the story and meeting biyoo along the way
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2025
#snap chats#not even an exaggeration i literally have my laptop open with rivals in another window right now vjEARLKEAJLEKJVLAJ#I LIT ONLY STOPPED JUST TO DRINK SPARKLING CIDER WITH THE FAM THE GRIND DOESNT STOP 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#been trying to play wolverine lately ... <- has magneto on the homepage#listen he's there for me to ogle at and get motivated by alright. point is logan is very funny vjELKJVAKJV#im very Not Used To his play style but i dont think im. Ok Let Me Not Lie LMAO I NEED TO GET USED TO HIM#anyways happy new year etc etc lets see what happens !!!!!!!!!
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