#ok Im half asleep half drunk writing this
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ithinkitscami · 1 year ago
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"Well....." A grimace formed on her face as she thought about the whole situation. “He lied to me." She propped herself up with her elbow, slightly avoiding eye contact with her sister. "I guess I kind of lied to him too, but–.” She had good reason to and she would stand by it. "That doesn't matter. The point is he lied to me." It got to her more than she expected to once the truth was revealed. "But he left me." And that's what scared her out of the whole thing. "Being with him brought up old... feelings." She unpropped herself, laying back down on her back. "It seems like he might have them too, but I'm terrified." She didn’t want to overthink it. She was fine where was she at in life… or at least she thought she was. “Am I overthinking this?” Because it felt like she was now that everything was out in the open.
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"I really, really hope that you wouldn't." Raleigh muttered, somewhat horrified. They were close, yes, but that felt like crossing a line. She shook her head, dismissing the thought when Cami glanced over at her. "Well alright then, lay it on me." She was all ears, and of course she would give advice if she could, but she was also ready to just be a sounding board for her sister. "---Okay." That wasn't a lot of information to go on, and she suspected there was more to it than what Cami was saying, but she didn't want to read between the lines and get things wrong. "Confused about what exactly?"
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whorediaries-09 · 5 months ago
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ok so i had a thought, i want to write this but im not sure if its good, what if reader was like no. 1 ambassador of hookup culture and remus was an old-school hopeless romantic and these two would be like best friends and remus would like take her home while she's drunk and everything and one day they both just talk really flirtily while being tipsy and kiss on the road and fuck and start to date but then remus gets insecure abt whether reader thinks he's just a fling but then reader tell him i love you while being piss-drunk and vomits on his jacket right after and he just knows it was meant to be?
wolfstar variant you say?
burning flames or paradise;
pairing- remus lupin x reader warning(s)- hurt/comfort, substances. a/n- i left out the vomiting part cause it kind of gives me the icks. sorry!
little train.
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'you didn't kiss me,' you say, pouting your lips. the taste of cherry wine lingers on your tongue. his amber eyes stare into yours, hot breathe craning your neck. amongst the drunk giggles of your friends and the party background, your ears stay perked solely for his words.
'you're too drunk,' he says, half bored, half bemused. it was no tell tale or word of mouth that you were flirty with literally everyone. the 'femme fatale'. the 'brand ambassador of hookup culture'. those were the nicknames that were notoriously famous for you during your school days.
but not once had you ever flirted with him. until tonight, when the cherry wine was high on your tongue, your words not in your control. he tried to reach out for the glass in your hands. you laughed, the sound contagious as always, pulling the glass away from his reach. he watches the liquid swirl before he stares into the glossiness of your eyes.
'won't you kiss me, lupin?' he shakes his head.
'why should i kiss you?'
you flatter your eyelashes, puckering your lips. as if asking for something. he's afraid he's way too sure about what you want.
and he might have just given it to you if you weren't so pissed drunk.
'because you don't actually want me to kiss you.'
you put the glass on the table. resting your back on the pillar behind you. he walks closer to you, so that he can hear you over the barring noise of the speaker.
'i think, lupin, its rather the other way around. its you who doesn't want to kiss me. you treat your mouth as if it's heaven's gate,'
'why should i kiss you anyways?' he asked. 'i don't remember us being in a relationship of that sort.'
you stick out your tongue, blowing a raspberry at him.
'at least take me home?'
*-
the lights in your apartment are revolting and far too loud. the dopamine of last night still lingers. so does the ever present feeling of headache after a lot too many drinks. you rush through the drawers of your nightstand, searching for painkillers. otherwise you fear, you might just burst your head.
your eyes fall on a glass full of water, a coaster used as a lid to cover it. on top, there's a sachet of pills and a note with scribbled with a handwriting you recognize all too well.
you take the pills, sliding the note from between the wood and the glass.
'you fell asleep by the time i brought you home. take these pills. i know you'll need them.- love, lupin.'
the sunlight filtered through your curtains. a strange figment of fear crossed your heart, boiling it with trepid heat. you realized you'd fallen for your friend a few weeks ago-at least had a little crush on him.
you took the pills, chugging down the water. your drunk memories flashed in your head like a film. the faded memory of you asking him for a kiss popped in your mind. so did the one with him declining the offer.
did you mess up your friendship? god you hated yourself.
you crammed your face into the pillow, muffling your scream.
*-
remus was surprised when he found you at your doorstep, wearing the scarf he'd knitted you on your birthday, flowers in your hand. and his favorite kind of chocolates.
'hi,'
'you should've said you were coming! i would've cleaned up...'
'come on you fold your socks, lupin. what are you on about?'
he smiled, an awkward curl of his lips. you leaned against the doorway. the smell of soup was distinct, stains on his apron visible. you noticed he wasn't wearing a t-shirt. just an apron. your eyes fell on scars on his shoulders, each telling a tale. some terrible, some horribly terrible.
'so you're just gonna stare at me or?'
fuck, you got distracted.
'you didn't ask me in,'
'you know you don't need to be asked in,' he said, moving as your footsteps faltered on his carpeted floor.
'what are you cooking?'
'sweet corn soup and some toast. didn't feel like making much,'
'lupin, that'll be my 5-star michelin cuisine if i had the energy to make that. now these, are for you,'
'for the record, you take your whiskey neat. and you take your coffee black at three. and what for?'
'you're drunk on life, and i think that's great. and these are as an...apology.'
he walked to the kitchen, turning off the stove.
'an apology...for what exactly?'
'oh, you know because i asked you to kiss me,'
'you asked me to kiss you. you didn't force me.' he says, sitting down beside you. there's a pregnant pause before you keep your hand on his thigh, letting your touch linger.
'it's okay,' he whispers. 'you were drunk.'
'i wasn't. i take my whiskey neat. a little bit of cherry wine does nothing to me.' he chuckles.
'you were piss drunk. you fell asleep on the way home! i had to call a cab midway.'
'accusations accusations,'
'are they?'
you stay silent. you let the charge in the air linger. you let embrace you, entangle you in its ruins. your eyes travel to his face. his dusty blonde hair tangled across his face. lips chapped, pale skin rosy with the bits of chilly air of autumn.
'why didn't you kiss me?'
'what?'
'i said, why didn't you kiss me?' your grip tightens around his thigh. 'i really like you, you know?'
'come on, don't be a bitter liar.'
'i'm not lying.'
he neared your face, hot breathe scanning your face.
'i would love to kiss you,' his hand cradles your cheek, finger on your lip, 'taste these beautiful, soft lips. but i'm afraid, i can't. i can't be a fling for you,'
'who says,' you whisper, nearing his face, touching your forehead with his. 'that you're a fling. i'm not lying. i really do like you. hell have you seen me hooking up with anyone recently? i do like you. just trust me, for once.'
'hopefully,' he says brushing his lips against yours, 'i can.'
'you can,' you confirm, thrusting your lips against him, your tongue loitering in his mouth, tasting him.
he really did treat his mouth like it was heaven's gate.
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whoreanghae · 1 year ago
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water ; joshua hong
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genre - protective shua, fake dating kinda?
word count - 1.1k
disclaimers - mentions of alcohol / being drunk, unwanted attention, lowercase on purpose, no proofreading, fic under the cut
a/n - just a short fic, nothing special just shua being very protective :) been finding it hard to get motivation to write lately so this is just something from the back of my brain. enjoy!!
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“next rounds on you, jeonghan! i can hear my bank account crying from my pocket!!”
going out with the guys after an especially long string of promotions was the perfect way to blow off steam. they always chose the best, fanciest bars to occupy. plus, there was an added bonus that if coups gets drunk enough, you can convince him that he agreed to pay for the next round of shots.
after having a couple drinks that were definitely stronger than you anticipated, it was time for you to make your way to the restrooms. minghao stabilized you as you stood up and less than gracefully made your way to the other side of the room. when you got into the restroom, you stood and looked in the mirror. as the room spun around you, you realized that maybe your limit has diminished as you’d gotten older. you do your thing and head back out, making a stop at the bar first to get yourself a glass of water. at least drunk you was still capable of making somewhat rational decisions.
as you stood at the bar, you half fell over but caught yourself on the counter. a man walked around you, hooking his arm around your waist and holding you up. you didnt think twice, assuming it was one of the guys just helping you out. but, as you looked towards the table they were all sitting around, the only empty seat was your own. now you’re filled with confusion and discomfort. you try to pull yourself away but the man tightens his grip on your side. 
“now now, we both know you’re not as stable as you think you are.”
you try to make your voice as stable as possible as you make an attempt at pushing him away or getting someones attention, whichever you can manage first.
“im fine, please let me go.”
the man leans closer until you hear a voice from his opposite side whichs makes his arms tense, but slightly release you at the same time.
“babe, everything ok?”
joshua?
“not really..”
joshua steps closer to the man who has now completely let go of your waist. he lowers his tone and his voice becomes raspy and powerful as he speaks.
“i don’t want to sound like a douche or anything, but i can have you kicked out of here faster than you could leave on your own accord. so i would suggest that you make a decision before i have to.”
the man mutters apologies to shua as he steps back and hurriedly leaves the bar. at this point, you are completely depending on the counter to hold you up. shua puts a (much more welcoming) arm around you, making you feel secure. you lean into him with your head on his shoulder as the bartender comes over and shua asks him for a glass of water. the bartender hands him the glass as the two of you make your way back to the table. the guys shift down so you can take the seat next to joshua, and you sink into his side as he feeds you the glass of water.
at this point your night had been ruined, and the guys noticed that too. shua offers to take you home which you gladly accept. you both say goodbye to everyone as you head outside and find a bench to sit on while you wait for your taxi to show up. you babble into shua’s shoulder as he scrolls on his phone.
“thank you, shua.”
“hm?”
he put his phone in his pocket as he turns his full attention to you.
“thank you for getting that man to go away.”
“i knew you were uncomfortable, i just did what anyone else shouldve done.”
“but this is better.. cuz its you…” 
shua chuckles as he rubs your arm, making you snuggle further into his side. when the taxi comes, joshua practically carries you to the car. you settle in and he makes quiet small talk with the driver as you slowly fall asleep on his shoulder.
when you get to your apartment, you pass shua your keys and rub your eyes while he unlocks the door and ushers you inside. he picks out your pajamas as you sit on your bed, watching his every move. he passes you your clothes as he leaves the room to let you get dressed.
you call out for him to come back in when youre in your pajamas, and he passes you another glass of water. you groan but he laughs as you take the glass anyways. he grabs your makeup remover wipes from your bathroom and sits on your bed next to you, lifting your legs and moving you to face him. his hands are warm.
when you’re all ready for bed, you crawl under the covers and watch as he puts everything back in its place. he makes everything look beautiful, elegant. even the simplest of motions are incredible when it’s shua. he pulls out his phone to book another cab to his place, but you sit up half way in your bed.
“shu?”
“yeah?”
“maybe it’d be cheaper if you didn’t get a taxi tonight and i could take you home tomorrow?”
“are you suggesting i stay here tonight?”
you give him a pleading smile as you pull back the covers and he playfully rolls his eyes. most of the guys have left miscellaneous clothes items at your house from other occasions, so he digs through the drawer and finds some pajamas to change into. when he comes back into the room, you watch him again. beautiful. thats the only word to describe him.
he slides into the covers and smiles at you as he leans over you and turns off the lamp on your bedside table. the night fades away, as you both fall asleep after mumbled ‘goodnight’s into the dark. 
when you wake up, the bed is empty. you stumble out of bed, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in the right side of your head. the smell of breakfast enters your nose, as you get to the kitchen and see shua cooking at the stove. you walk to him and rest your cheek on his back. 
“good morning, party animal.”
his eyes are fond as he gestures to the counter behind the two of you, where he has two ibuprofen and a glass of water sitting out, ready for you. 
“another glass of water, ive never been so hydrated in my life.”
shua laughs.
“thats not a bad thing, is it?”
he walks towards you and looks into your eyes as you drink all the water and lay the glass down with a smile.
“no, not at all.”
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vivaladicamillo · 8 months ago
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DRUNK!BRANDON DICAMILLO/GN!READER
im on a roll so ima js write until i cant no more, dico brain rot has been so bad so heres a little dico drabble ;))) enjoyyyyy
WARNINGS: drunkness, alcohol mentioned ofc, dico
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one night you were at home. You and the so called “cky crew” had been friends since highschool, u were in the same grade as jess, ryan and dico so u all js kinda bonded. U were in ur 20s now, things were different bc u guys were adults, parties, drinking, sex, it was more common and less exciting. the guys decided to go out and have a “boys night” leaving u and ur cat alone at home, watching ur favorite movie. u ended up falling asleep on the couch only to be woken up around 3:35am by a loud knock at ur door.
u get up half asleep and wobble to the door, wearing only pajamas. u open the door to find bam, ryan and a very obviously drunk dico clinging onto bam for dear life.
bam giggles “yo you gotta take bran hes fucked!”
bam was also drunk but u can tell not as much
“what…” you says groggily
“js take him hes drooling on me!!!” bam shoved him towards you like a ragdoll and he bumps into you, swaying.
bam and ryan leave, ryan driving them away and now u have a drunk dico in ur home.
“y/nnnbnn hiiii!” he slurs, he gives a big goofy smile, cheeks flushes and eyes dilated, oh yea he was FUCKED alright
“hey brandon r u ok? u need some water?” you ask looking at his face
“hmmm ill take another beer!” he says and laughs
u shake ur head and yawn “here sit down and ill get u some water.”
you walk him over to your couch, sitting him down as u walk to the kitchen.
“ayeee what r we watching??” he gasps “i know what we can watch!! u got masters of the universe recorded oh god…i wanna watch ittt.” he starts to ramble as u run a cup under the tap and fill it up
ur cat gives him the stink eye as it watches him ramble, dico looks at it and starts mocking it jokingly. as soon as u walked in and saw him meowing at ur cat u knew it was over.
“listen im gonna go set up my bed, u can sleep in there if u want, or i cant set u up on the couch, im js exhausted right now.” u chuckle ad he looks at u with that wide eyed stare he always does
“hmmmm ill take the bed!” he puts his finger up and you laugh
“ok, come on big guy lets take u to bed.” you put ur hand on his shoulder, still carrying the water as u guide him to your room. he wraps his arm around you getting really comfortable
“wow i can believe ur taking me to bed…” he smirks going to make an obvious sex joke
“yea my bed, alone.” u smile back
the two of u make it to your room and he watches u make the bed, hands in his pockets, he pulled back and got a lot quieter. you put ur stuffed animals back on your bed and turn to him
“only fit for a king!” u joke and point to the bed, he smiles
“thanks y/n, your the literal best ever, best person ever born, i gotta thank ur mom more often” he chuckles
you nod and go to walk out of the room
“actual wait i have a awkward question…..” he looked a little nervous as she slurred his words
u turn to him and waited for his answer
“wanna sleep together?” he smirked
you stopped and looked at him “what??”
“nonono not like that, i feel bad letting u out on the couch…i dont mind sharing the bed.” he scratched his neck
“u dont have a girlfriend i dont know abt thats gonna jump me for sleeping in the same bed as i right ?” u cross ur arms and smirk, u always had a tiny thing for dico but he was one of ur closest friends, so u kept it underwraps
“i pinky swear!” he holds up his pinky
“fineeee” you agree, he jumps into bed, still fully clothed in jeans and a teeshirt, he even still had hid shoes on!
“BRANDON NO GET UR SHOES OFF MY BED!”
“sorry.” he said in a high pitched voice, taking his shoes off and getting under the covers
you followed suit, getting into bed and making urself comfortable, u felt a little awkward but he was ur best friend so, it wasnt that bad. he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, u knew from the soft snores behind u. shifting in bed, u turn to face him, his pretty sleeping face abt a foot away from your own. u smiled, he really was cute, in his sleep he ended up cuddling u, well by cuddling lazily wrapping an arm around you and then when u try to wiggle away he got u in a bear grip
u didnt mind, u gave up struggling and gave in to sleep, cuddling into his touch as u urself fell asleep
his soft breaths being ur lullaby
god u loved him
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HOPE U ENJOYEDDD!! new format bc i wanted this to be more of a story than headcanons, i might make something similar with all the cky guys but idk i guess we will find out :))
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dinozarr · 1 year ago
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HELP MEEEE R YOU OK 😭😭😭😭 THE WAY U DESCRIBED IT GOT ME SOBBING IM SORYRNTHJ u falling asleep and jolting back awake LMFAOOO and also the pool detail ....... uhm sir i think u need to sleep more cause id never recover from THAT
hows writing while drunk tho ugh i wanna try it one day
reading back on it and my only question is how tf is my drunk writing still better than my sober writing. like i went IN on that shit half asleep and not sober omf😭😭 THIS IS SO HUMILIATINGGGGG AGHHHHHHHHH
BUT YES I AM OK I FEEL GOOD ISH RN AND AM WORKING ON GFX FOR MY “About me” PAGE RN🤭🤭🫶🫶TY THO AMORRRRR
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chelleztjs18 · 2 years ago
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Hello you mrs. mango eater iced coffee drinker bread lover honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag princess😅
Hm so with my second account, it follows the same blogs I follow in the first one. I don't really know how to just follow certain blogs for each account lol cause I tried to see if I can follow people with my second account name but I can't 🤔
But yeah 😁 it is like incorrect quotes, and right now it's mostly focused around Wanda hahaha I am making it mostly funny because I really don't know how to write anything else. I suck at writing things in detail.
Ah I know what you mean. My best friend is the same way, she is constantly cleaning or just playing with her daughter. I think she will have a hard time when my niece goes to preschool soon lol
I say get drunk! It's the end of the year, let go of it ahahaha let go by getting drunk then having a really bad hangover the next day. Hm, maybe I won't give you my other tumblr name, I don't wanna get weird drunk text from you 😂 just kidding
Okay, I'll see if I can find the movie in the store or stream it somewhere 🤔 I am the same way, I hate when people talk to me during the movie. But if I am at home, I always pause the movie so I can make comments lol
I usually don't mind gory movies. I get iffy though when they show something being done to the characters skin or nails. Hahaha! Thats exactly why I can't watch filipino scary movies. I feel like the ghosts or supernatural stuff are actually there and will haunt me.
Hm I don't know either. I never pay attention to ratings until after I watch the movie. Oh actually there is one that people loved but I hate it because it was so bad. It's the cabin in the woods. It's supposed to be scary, but the whole time I was watching it, I kept going what the eff. 😂
Ok, last question for the night. 3 movies or shows that awaken your sexuality or was your sexual awakening. I hope the question made sense.
-CuriousGeorge
Hi hi righty eyebag!
Wow, that was a long nickname plus the princess nickname at the end..😁🤭
Ah i see. So it means ur second account follows mine..i wonder which none is u 🤔 hahahah.
I love incorrect quotes! Some of them can make me really laugh out loud..😅😆 n how they make y/n sometimes stupid but funny n how wanda or nat very patient with y/n. I love it!
Hahaha okay, it's understandable that u dont wanna give me ur tumblr because of not wanting to get drunk text from me. 🤣🤣🤣
Im.not sure if i wanna get drunk. The last time i got drunk, i shared a big bottle of vodka with him n other cocktails, i got so drunk n i felt like shit the next morning.. 🤣
Hahah yeah pls find it n let me know what u think about Knives Out.
Well, that's not fun either if u keep stopping the movie to comment. Just kidding.😆 at least it's bettter than miss the movie because someone is talking. It's still very thoughtful of u.
I will talk in the movie sometimea if we rewatch a movie n the other person already watched it too.
Im like that too with indonesian ghost movie.. i think asian ghosts r described a little more eerily weird.hahaha. n they look scary.
Ah i see.i never really remember movies that i regret watching that people love it.
Oh oh! I remember! I watched Hunger Games Mocking Birds with my friends n they all were excited about it. But i fell asleep watching it.😅 a movie thats called Yesterday also got me bored like hell that i have to stop watching it not even half of movie. The most recent bad movies i watch that people seems to love it is the latest Jurassic Park movies. I even feel like almost 3 hours of my life was wasted 😅 it's just my opinion though, i hv nothing agaisnt the fans of that movie.
Hmm 3 movies that was my gay awakening
1. The Mummy Returns (Rachelle Weisz was sooo hot in it)
2. I Can't Think Straight (the story is quite similar with my story with my ex-gf)
3. Kyss Mig or Kiss me (it's a sweden movie but good story in it.)
4. Iron Man 2 (when Natasha first appeared in MCU)
Whats urs?
Next question
Cheerio!
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kiegosbby · 4 years ago
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hawks x f!reader
chapter 8 I think. I’m sorry guys itll get better I promiseeee
word count: 1.6k
warnings: drinking, and just making poor decisions
✁- - - - - - r- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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when you finished your work you left quickly trying to avoid talking to him any further.
You stopped at a liquor store. This wasn't your best idea. But In the moment, you needed it badly.
you never really drank before, not knowing what to buy so you bought vodka. People drink that straight right?
she bought her bottle and put it in a paper bag, having to keep her hero appearance.
she flew home and sat down on her couch. She popped the cap off and chugged it. It burned as it went down. She thought it would be worse it tasted like medicine. Kind of.
She looked across the room and saw her phone. She was now slightly tipsy, she stood up and walked over to her phone. Picking it up it was slightly cracked but it still worked. You turned it on and while you waited, chugged some more because why the hell not?
as your phone turned on you saw all the messages hawks had left you.
10+ plus new messages from: Birdy ���️🐔
"Tch.."
Birdy ❤️🐔
Hey baby bird I'm sorry about last night I probably seem like a dick.
Birdy ❤️🐔
I had to help endeavour on a case and I couldn't say no. Please let me make it up to you
Birdy ❤️🐔
I still owe you ice cream even if you don't wanna go out anymore
Birdy ❤️🐔
Don't forget that you have to come to my agency tomorrow and fill out some paperwork and set your office up
Birdy ❤️🐔
Angel where are you? Your 10 minutes late
Birdy ❤️🐔
Angel I'm starting to worry it's been a hour. Please just let me know that your ok
Birdy ❤️🐔
Y/n please text me. Im worried and I swear if anything happened to you I'll kill someone
Birdy ❤️🐔
Don't make me go to your apartment. I will don't test me.
Birdy ❤️🐔
angel please reply
Birdy ❤️🐔
Angel? Please..
Birdy ❤️🐔
I'm about to go to your apartment. I don't know which numbers yours but I'll go through the whole building if I have to.
well now you felt like a bitch.
It was still mean for him to do that to her. But maybe she should forgive him. he apologized and he seemed like he actually cared.
You decided to call him and talk to him. Maybe apologize? Ask him what his favourite drink is. Alcohol is good you should do this more often.
you pressed the call button and took a big swig of your drink getting ready to talk.
"Angel hello?"
"Hey hawks" you slurred your words slightly. "I wanted to call you because it's so difficult to type! The buttons are so little and I keep messing up. Now I know what your thinking, she's drunk right? Well no actually I'm just a little tipsy. Oh! I forgot to say what I was calling about. I wanted to apologize, I was being a total bitch don't you think?" You took a quick swig and went back to talking "but you were kinda mean to me. But I liked you! I even bought a fucking dress for you. And I don't do dresses. Believe that? I got all dressed up for you. And you never showed. But hero duties are more important than anything" you took another swig "damn this shit is strong!"
He sat there trying to take in everything she had just said. To be fair it was a lot to handle. " Y/n your drunk why are you drinking?"
"Because why the hell not?" She said and laughed
"You want to apologize I want to apologize to face to face."
"Come over them Birdy I need some company I can't finish this big bottle all by myself." At this point you really couldn't think straight. This was 100% a bad idea but did you care? Absolutely not.
"Y/n your drunk we should talk tomo-"
"No come over nowwww pleaseeeeeeee" you whined
he sighed "Ok leave the balcony open I'll land there."
"Yay! I'll be waiting for you im so excited!"
You quickly hung up and went to wait for him on the balcony. You sat with your legs crossed and kept drinking. You got up and looked over the ledge. Damn that was a farrr drop. You stumbled a little leaning a little to far, and almost fell until you felt a warm pair of hands wrap around your waist. "Are you fucking crazy kid? Do you have a death wish?"
You started laughing "oh my god I almost fell good thing I have wings. You saved me! Your like my knight in shining armor" you smiled and went to take another swig only to have him take it away from you.
He looked at the bottle. "You drank almost half of this already! Are you crazy? Oh my god come on" he lead you inside trying to figure the layout of your house. He went into your kitchen and got you a water bottle from your fridge.
"Here drink this your gonna need it. Let's go sit down ok?" He lead you to the couch, you almost fell a couple times but with his help you made it.
"Hawksssss"
"Yes angel" he looked over to you, you were both now sitting on the couch, and he was trying to make sure you did nothing stupid.
"Thank you for coming I was sooo lonely. And I'm sorry for this morning I was being a big poopy head" you said and at the end you stuck your bottom lip out and gave him puppy eyes.
"It's no problem angel. I would always help a friend in need more matter what. And you don't have to apologize it was mostly my fault I was being a dumb bird and messed it up." He said looking at you with guilt. You felt bad honestly. But what stuck the most was when he said he would always help a friend..
"I wish we were more then friends I really liek you.." you slurred and went on "your really cute to. And your wings are so pretty I just wanna touch them. Can I touch them?" You asked already reaching out to them
"Of course baby bird just be careful you have wings to so you'll know how it feels." He pulled his wings further out so that you could reach them easily. He was a little scared only a few other people had touched his wings. And they had never been drunk before. His wings were quite sensitive, he was touch starved and that made it feel amazing when someone touched his wings.
You leaned in and touched the middle of his wings first, slowly running your hand over them. You face lit up like a kid opening his presents on Christmas. You raked your hands through his feathers.
"Your feathers are so soft! How do you get them so soft!?" You asked excitedly. Your feathers weren't as soft as his, they'd been through a lot and due to some harsh training were trying to recover still.
"There just n-naturally soft I guess are yours not t-this soft?" He asked as he was trying to keep back his groans. Your fingers felt so good rubbing against his feathers.
"They were but after bad training there not as soft anymore. Want to feel?" She asked excitedly, taking her hands away. He tried to hide his disappointment, and shook his head yes.
she pulled her wings out, giving off a soft glow as her quirk made her. He reached out to his hands. He softly touched the tip of her wings. She sat back and relaxed feeling calm at the touches he was giving her. It was way better then the little kids that tugged on her wings when she had them out.
"What kind of training did this? There still soft just seem like they've been through a lot.."
"Well it was a really rainy day. And they were working me so hard. We were in a empty field and I was paired with one of the higher ranks, so I had to try my hardest. They thought I was weak so they pushed me a little to far, until my wings were covered with mud and all the nasty shit on the ground."
He had a apologetic look on his face as he continued to stroke your wings. "Who's they?"
"I-oh I don't really tell many people but when my parents had found out I had wings, they had to report it to the government, who wanted to put me in intense training from when I was just 4. I knew how to kill someone before I knew how to write my own name correctly. I've heard you went through the same if I'm correct?" Y/n was almost surprisingly sober now.
"Yeah it's not something I like to talk about. I'm sorry they put you through that. Me and you are more alike then we seem arnt we?" He asked while taking his hand away from your wings.
you internally sighed in disappointment when he took his hand away. "I guess we might be. C-can we watch a movie or something?" She asked hoping he would stay just a little longer.
"Only if I can still take you to get ice cream soon?" He asked testing the waters to see if she was still mad.
"Of course you bird brain." She grabbed the remote and turned on  {favourite movie}.
"Oh I love this movie!" He said with excitement as he got comfortable next to you.
You smiled looking at him. You were no longer mad but thought if this went on would that happen again? Would he handle it differently? As the thoughts were running through your mind, you felt the heaviness of sleep washing over you. You closed your eyes and let it involve you.
Hawks POV
I turned to check on y/n, and as I turned she was just falling asleep. Her head slowly made its way into my shoulder. I blushed slightly. Y/n was beautiful. Even with her hair a mess she was still pretty to him.
As he was admiring her, she moved in her sleep, grabbing his arm and hugging it as she slept.
'God she's perfect'
36 notes · View notes
hollyxqx · 5 years ago
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lover, leaver  //  jimin  //  03
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↪ PAIRING: Reader/Park Jimin (initally reader/Jungkook) ↪ SUMMARY: There’s only so much cheating you can take from your boyfriend when he’s on tour before you take matters in to your own hands. ↪ WORD COUNT: 8.5k
↪ WARNINGS: lots of infidelity | substance (alcohol & drugs) abuse | heavy angst | characters are quite flawed (who isn’t) | rockstar!jungkook | soft artist!jimin | mentions of abortion/unwanted pregnancy talk | smut 
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01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | FINAL
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You go home to change out of your work clothes, having been in them for far too long. To your surprise Jungkook is there, albeit sitting in almost complete darkness. You jump in shock when you flip the light on to reveal him slumped on the sofa, unconscious, a glass half filled with whiskey tilts dangerously in his loose grip.
You swear softly with a sigh as you make your way over to him. You check to make sure he's breathing, knowing his propensity for drinking heavily. The last thing you would ever want is him to drink himself to death. To your relief he is; small, shallow breaths but breaths nonetheless.
You move the whiskey glass to the coffee table and arrange Jungkook so he is laying on his side, in case he vomits in his sleep. From the kitchen you retrieve a bowl for him to throw up into if he needs it and some water. As you pull the blanket that rests on the back of the couch over him he stirs.
"Baby?" He slurs. It's barely coherent but he's called you it enough times for you to be able to understand what he's saying. You've also heard him call you that wasted hundreds of times. He reaches out for you and you notice his knuckles are bruised. There's dried blood on them too.
"Shhh, just go to sleep." You coo, moving some of his hair out of his clammy face.
"Stay." He mumbles.
"I'm staying." You're unsure if he means stay in this exact spot with him or stay in your apartment. Before he can clarify he's out again, eyes fluttering shut and body limp. You watch him for a few moments to make sure he'll be okay. When you're at least marginally sure he won't die in his sleep you head to bed, exhausted from the past few days.
At some point a slightly soberer Jungkook crawls into bed beside you. You feign sleep as he wraps his arms around you. When he kisses your cheek and whispers that he loves you it becomes hard not to cry. "Jungkook we need to talk in the morning." You whisper.
"I know." He whispers back.
Somehow, you both manage to fall asleep, despite everything.
***
It's undeniably awkward the next morning.
You sit opposite each other at the kitchen table but your eyes bore into your - now cold - mug of coffee. Jungkook finished his long ago but you can't seem to stomach yours.
It's quiet. The two of you have exchanged maybe a handful of words the entire time, aside from forcing some pleasantries. You can barely take the tension any longer. You encourage yourself to meet his gaze. "I saw what you did to Jimin." You say quietly. You're angry (well, only mostly at yourself)  but you're more so hurt on behalf for Jimin than anything.
"He deserved it." Jungkook replies bluntly, crossing his arms across his chest. "Fucking snakey little shit."
"Don't direct the entirety of your anger towards him. I'm the bad guy here."
"If I direct it at you then I'll never want to look at you again." He sighs. "I don't want that. I don't want to lose you."
His words rip at your insides like a knife. You hadn't anticipated this reaction from him. Normally he was always so fiery and passionate. To see him acting defeated, broken even was heart wrenching. "Don't you think on some level you've lost me already?" You ask quietly.
The hurt that flashes across his face is instant as if you've slapped him. "No." He replies defiantly.
"Jungkook," You're trying to be gentle, the risk of the situation escalating is high enough as it is. "I'm sorry for everything I did. It makes me a fucking horrible person - it does. But if our relationship was perfect, it would've never happened. On either side."
He scoffs. "Nothing's perfect."
He stands, the chair scooting loudly across the tiled floor and opens the cupboard. You already know what's about to happen before it does. The next moment he's fixing himself a drink. Of course. Jungkook has always been self destructive when he's hurting.
"Kook, it's 10.30am."
"So? I've got nowhere to be today." He downs the liquid in one before going in for seconds.
"This is exactly what I'm talking about!" You exclaim. "Getting drunk during the day is not normal. You never used to do that!"
"Yeah? Well I also never used to have the amount of pressure on me I do now!" He's yelling now and you flinch. You hate seeing him angry. "You think it's easy to keep it together when I have a manager, a record label, sponsors and god knows who else pressuring me to write music I don't want to?"
"I didn't think about it like that. I'm sorry." You look down.
"There's a fucking entire world of people who have expectations from me. You don't know what it's like." He runs a hand through his hair, exasperated. "I was just trying to cope. Maybe have a little fun. Sue me."
"You're good at hiding how you feel, Jungkook. You've always been."
"Everyone thinks I'm just this happy, easy going guy with no feelings." He mutters. "Even you. That's why you went running to Jimin."
"I went running to Jimin to deal with the pain of you relentlessly cheating on me." You correct. Jungkook tosses back his drink.
"Did it work?" He mumbles, rolling his eyes.
"Honestly?" You ask with a scoff. Jungkook nods. "Sometimes."
He stares bitterly at the empty glass, swirling the remaining liquid. "I keep trying to remember times where I thought you were cheating, but there isn't any. Not one." He laughs but there's no humour to his voice. "You waited for me to go on tour didn't you? Smart."
"You don't cheat when you're at home. Why should I?" You say, shame burning your cheeks. It sounds absolutely absurd to say it aloud. He walks over to you and stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you sit.
"I'm sorry I hurt you baby." He coos. All you can do is nod, arms limp by your sides. "I never thought of it as cheating, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm so fucking sorry."
He's nosing at your hair, kissing the top of your head, doing what he always does - shower you with so much love and affection so you forget the mistakes that he makes. It's worked so many times but you can't let it work this time, the cycle has to end. You nudge him off of you and he steps back, looking crestfallen. "I love you Jungkook but I can't do this anymore."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I can't continue to play dumb to the girls on tour. I can't do it. Not anymore. I don't think I'm fit to be your girlfriend. Maybe there's other girls out there who can deal with that shit but I can't." You're frantically shaking your head from side to side.
"Is this so you can be with him?" He spits, gesturing as if Jimin was standing in the room next door.
"No!" You stress. "This has nothing to do with him. I cheated on you Jungkook. I've never done anything like that before. This relationship made me a person who would do that. It's been a long time coming I think." You say sadly. Jungkook looks furious and heartbroken at the same time, hands balled into fists at his sides.
"I don't want to be apart. I love you." He almost hisses. "This is ridiculous. If was going to forgive you, why can't you do the same?"
"Because I know you won't change!" You burst out loudly, meeting his energy. Somehow you find yourself standing on your feet, the chair tips to the floor but you barely register the sound.  Jungkook yells out, throwing his glass. It smashes against the wall opposite you and you nearly jump out of your skin.
"You're really going to throw away two years like that?" He pants, chest heaving.
"I'm sorry."
"No you're fucking not. You're a fucking slutty bitch, is what you are."
He storms out, leaving you to clean up the shattered glass. The front door slams, leaving you in almost unbearable silence. ***
The doctor's office clinical sharp scent fills your head as you sit with Hyerin several hours later. She's nervous; foot tapping incessantly against the metal leg of the waiting room chair. You give her hand an affectionate squeeze as she lets out a deep breath. "Chill. No matter what happens, it's ok." You offer her the most hopeful smile you can.
"Thanks." She mumbles.
You weren't going to fill her in on your morning's previous events but Hyerin had begged you for a distraction. Anything to get her mind off her current state, even if it was just for a few moments. You'd yet to tell her about Jimin being a huge factor. That could wait.
"Good luck." You whisper to her as her name is called by a rather young looking doctor. You watch as she disappears through the double doors, worrying about your friends future.
to: park jimin hey. how are you doing? I can bring you food later, im not working today.
You don't really expect a reply but you're hopeful nonetheless. You still need to talk properly with Jimin and as awkward as it might be it has to be done. It's your bed, time to lie in it.
As you were about to put your phone away it vibrates in your palm. Jungkook's name appears.
from: jungkook <3 i'll be gone until tomorrow night. When i get back I want you and your shit gone.
It was his place after all, he was completely within his right to request such a thing from you. That didn't deaden the sting however. He was hurting and lashing out, you were aware of his tendency to do that but he had been your boyfriend for a long time, it was never going to be easy saying goodbye.
You sigh audibly as you mentally start making a plan to retrieve your belongings. Maybe you could ask Hyerin to help, god knows you two need each other in this moment in time. You wonder if she would let you kick it on her couch for a while until you find a place to live. The timing is hardly great, considering you have exams soon as well. Why couldn't Jungkook wait to cheat on you until after you graduated, you think dryly.
It's not long until Hyerin returns. Her face is flushed and you realise there's probably been a few tears shed since she left you some moments ago. She's nodding as she crosses the room, wordlessly confirming her pregnancy to you. "Come on," You say gently, looping your arm through hers. "Tell me all about it in the car."
She lets out a choked sob the moment your both in the silence of the vehicle. "I can't believe this is honest to god my life right now." She cries, slamming a fist onto the dashboard. "Fuck my fucking existence!"
"What did the doctor say?" You ask hesitantly. You want her to have her moment and vent her frustrations before launching in to the story.
"I'm 100% pregnant. 9 weeks." She sniffs, swiping a tear off her pink cheeks. "It's official."
"Shit." You don't know if you want to apologise or congratulate her, given her extremely upset reaction. "What now?"
She gathers herself as best she can before she replies. "Tell Namjoon, I 'spose."
"Want me to drive you to him?" You offer.
"Nah, I need to go home first. Look - " She's pulling something out her purse, that you quickly realise is an ultrasound. It doesn't look like anything much to you other than a gray and black blur.
"The baby has your eyes." You joke, a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. Hyerin laughs a little as she gazes at the print out.
"It didn't feel real until she handed me this." Hyerin mumbles.
"It is surreal. Next time use a condom, babe."
"I did!" She exclaims, scandalised. "It broke."
You both share a laugh despite everything that's going on with you. It feels just plain good to have a light moment, however temporary. You almost don't want to ruin it, but you feel as if it's necessary. "While you were in there Jungkook texted. He wants me out. By tomorrow."
"Jeez, that's intense."
"He's angry I ended things."
"You can stay with me if you need to. I have a spare bedroom." Hyerin kindly offers. You're touched that you didn't even have to ask, feeling closer in this moment to her than ever.
"You're an angel."
"You've been a good friend to me. I'm just doing what's right." She gives you a small smile as you start the car, ready to take her home.
***
Boxing and packing your things from home is harder than you expect it to me. There's so much of Jungkook entwined in nearly everything you own and a tiny, rageful, hurt part of you wants to just say fuck it and bin absolutely everything. Obviously you can't - but the wild impulse niggles at you.
A lot of the clothing you own is stolen from him. Mostly it's band t's and hoodies. You wonder if he would prefer that you left it behind. Maybe not, you think wistfully. Knowing him, he'd probably chuck it out anyway, unwilling to have anything that reminded him of you.
It's late into the night when you're interrupted by knocking at the front door. You hoist yourself up from where you kneel at the foot of your closet, next to a mountain of clothes and pad barefoot to the door. One look through the peephole reveals it's Jimin who is knocking.
You recall suddenly that you never heard back from him.
"Jimin?" You ask curiously as you peer round the door. Your heart aches when you notice he has a bag of takeout food with him. "What are you doing here?"
"Thought you might be hungry." He replies quietly. You realise that you are indeed, unable to even remember when you last ate. "Can I come in?"
You try not to gawk too much at his injured face as he crosses the threshold into your apartment, a pang of guilt shooting directly through you. It's your fault he looks like that. Somehow it appears even more gruesome as it's healing.
He doesn't ask where to go, instinctively heading for the living room where you ate before. You follow behind him, a flutter of nerves creeping up your chest. Jimin sits and immediately starts unboxing the food.
"It's late." You say dumbly, pointing out the obvious. "Why aren't you sleeping?"
"I spoke to Namjoon." Jimin states, eyes never leaving the food. You know what that means. It means he knows everything. There's no way Jungkook wouldn't have mentioned anything. You take a seat next to him and give him some help. "Thought you might need a hand."
"With packing? I'm almost done."
"Well yeah, but other things too. Sometimes it's nice just to have some company when shit hits the fan."
You notice he's ordered your favourite noodles. It's so gut wrenchingly sweet and you definitely don't deserve it. "Thank you." You say, feeling small.
It's quiet as the two of you eat, the only sounds that can be heard is that of noodles being slurped. The food is welcome and much needed.
"Where are you going to go? I'd offer my place but I'm almost certain you'd turn me down." He gives you a smile that never reaches his eyes. However he's right. There's no way you'd accept that offer. Not after the mess you've created. Part of you wonders if you run away now, just leave, at least him and Jungkook's friendship can be salvaged.
"Hyerin very kindly has offered me a place, don't worry." You inform him. "I went with her to the doctor today. There is a baby on the way. For realsies."
Jimin stops chewing, looking at you in shock. "Namjoon as a father is going to be a disaster."
You shrug. "True....but it's their lives. They'll work it out."
"And what about your life hm? What is y/n going to do now?" He set his empty carton of food down, turning a little to face you.
"I don't know," You almost whisper. As you look - truly inspect - his face your pained once more. The bruises are darker, more agonising to look at it. "How's your face?" You ask, changing the subject.
"Sore."
"I'm so sorry." You almost beg. "Do you hate me?"
"I don't think I could even if I tried."
You're unsure of what comes over you, but you're reaching out to touch Jimin's bruised face. A fingertip skims as delicately as you can muster over the purple blooming on his cheek. His eyes flutter shut at your touch. "Sorry." You murmur.
"s'fine." He whispers back. Your thumb trails over his full bottom lip and all you want to do is kiss him. Normally you would have just gone for it but after everything he's been through you don't.
"I wish I could kiss you."
"You can." His eyes are open once again, staring at you softly.
"I don't want to hurt you. Anymore than I already have." You say sheepishly.
"You won't."
He acts next, bridging the gap between your bodies. His kiss is far more delicate than you expect, tender and sweet as if he's afraid. You hope he's not and it's just because he's injured. That thought floats away as soon as a hand grips your jaw and the kiss deepens.
You know you shouldn't be doing this, instead mentioning to him the information that Jungkook shared with you, but you feel so much affection for him in that moment for being willing to take care of you that you can't help it.
The kiss ends abruptly when your hand touches his torso absent mindedly and he gasps in pain. "I'm sorry!" You say urgently, pulling away. He shakes his head, assuring you he's okay. "Please don't tell me that was Jungkook as well. What exactly did he do to you?" You plead.
"You know how strong he is. He just roughed me up. I'm sure you can imagine the kind of things he said to me. Believe me that was worse." Jimin says nonchalantly as if it's the most normal sentence in the world. "I'll be okay."
"Can I see?" You ask tentatively, tugging slightly at the hem of his shirt. He gives you a reluctant sigh but nods anyway. The shirt comes off and you gasp at his battered body. It takes a few seconds to really take all of it in, the sight of his pale chest covered in ugly marks.
"I bruise easy." He mumbles as if that makes any of this any less horrific.
"I'll never get you in a situation like this again I swear," You say solemnly. "I mean it."
"Stop blaming yourself so much." He sighs, taking your hand in his. He kisses the back of your knuckles. "I forgive you. There, now you can stop saying sorry."
***
It doesn't take long for you to be atop of Jimin's naked body while he lies flat on the sofa. One arm grips the edge of the sofa as you ride him, due to the nature of his injuries. His hands grip your hips tightly as you go, falling down onto his length as hard and as fast as your thigh muscles allow you.
His eyes never leave your breasts as they bounce with you. It makes him groan. He uses his feet for leverage to help you as best he can. "Butterfly," He whines, hands sliding from your hips to grope at your chest. "I'm so glad you're all mine now."
You can barely speak let alone protest his statement as your orgasm pulses through you. What you wanted to do was ask him what the hell he was talking about, but it felt too good - he felt too good buried so tightly inside of you and you lost it.
Jimin finishes deep inside with a guttural moan. As you slow you look down at him to find an utterly content smile playing on his lips. You go to clamber off of him but a throaty noise of protest escapes his throat. "Just let me feel you a little longer." He laughs.
He struggles to a sitting position as best he can so allowing him to press his mouth to yours. "My butterfly." He whispers against your lips.
Reality seems to set in suddenly, like a slap to the face. Jimin has incorrectly assumed that you would jump straight from Jungkook to him at a whiplash inducing speed. Not that you can blame him. How could he not? It probably felt like a natural step to him that you two would continue as you had been going. Now Jungkook was out of the picture,  the only apparent obstacle keeping you apart, you were his now. Right?
It doesn't feel right.
You say nothing as you climb off him, feeling uncomfortable as if someone has poured ice water down your spine. You don't want a relationship with him  right now. You're barely hours out of your last one for crying out loud.
Hastily you pick up your scattered clothing and scurry to the bathroom to clean up, mumbling something to Jimin along the way. He's quick to follow you.
"What's wrong?" He asks hurriedly, voice full of concern. Your words are lost to you as you shake your head. "I didn't hurt you or anything did I?"
"No," You say weakly, feeling like a coward. "It's not that."
Hyper aware of the fact that you're both naked you begin to dress. "Can we just clean up then talk?" You plead.
"Sure." Jimin has a combination of a hurt, confused look on his face. "Anything you want, just tell me what's wrong."
When you're both fully clothed and completely out of the carnal state that led you to fucking in the first place only then can you think clearly. "Are you angry? Did I do something wrong?" His voice breaks the uncomfortable silence.
"No, no." You sigh. "Do you think we're...together? Now that things have ended with Jungkook?" It doesn't come out as tactfully as you'd hoped.
"This is because I called you mine, right?" He says letting out a puff of laughter. It's humourless. "What else are we if not together?"
"Jungkook and I just broke up. Don't you think I might need a little space?"
"Please, your relationship with him was over the second you fucked me." Jimin scoffs. "Don't I treat you right? Aren't you happy when we're together?"
"You do. I am." You reply, softening slightly at his words. "I think I just need a break from relationships for a bit. I'm clearly not very good at them."
"So letting me in tonight and fucking me is the way to do that?" He spits sarcastically.
"One thing led to another, I wasn't thinking clearly. I just wanted to feel close to you." You reply, realizing how ridiculous you sound right now.
"If you wanted to feel close to me, let me be close to you." He says sincerely. Jimin steps forward cupping your face in his hands. "Tell me you don't feel anything when we're together. Tell me this isn't just messing around. Tell me you feel something."
He kisses you with as much intensity as he can muster, lips smacking hard against yours. You want to lie to him, push him away and suffer because you feel as if that's what you truly deserve. But you can't. The look in his eyes is nothing short of sheer want.
"Of course I do," You whisper, eyes still shut as you gather some strength. It's been an emotionally intense few days.
"But?" He asks if he can sense what's coming.
"But now is not the right time for me and you," You stress. "I've been really thankful for you Jimin. You've been here for me in ways you don't even realise. But I cannot just jump into a new relationship without dealing with my baggage from the old one. It's not fair to either of us. I've hurt you so much. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."
He looks at you silently, brow furrowed, for what feels like eons. Deep down you hope he knows you're right, especially if he truly wants to be with you. He kisses you one more time.
"I love you, y/n." He whispers. "I'm in love with you."
You're quite literally left speechless. It's not exactly news to you given what Jungkook had mentioned but hearing it from Jimin is something else. It feels surreal, a strange dream you'll wake up from at any moment. You move your mouth but no sound escapes.
You finally get your breath but it takes a moment. "I don't think I'm there in that place with you, Jiminie." You say sadly, letting the boy who had been so kind to you down. You barely know what you're feeling right now. How can you admit something if you're not entirely sure its true?
You love Jungkook, you know that. But it's entirely different to what you feel for Jimin. It's established love, endured love. Painful love.
"I know. But I think you could be. One day. Maybe even one day soon." Jimin whispers.
He steps back a little so you're no longer in such an intimate proximity. The distance suddenly feels great. You badly want to reach out to him but you know it won't help anything. "Maybe," You agree. "I think if I have some time I'll know for sure. I don't want to lie. I'm sick of it."
"I understand." His voice is small. "I think I'm going to go. I'll give you some space y/n."
You nod, feeling entirely mixed up, emotionally drained and shattered. He gathers his things as you watch, it somehow feels all together too final. There's a chaste kiss on your cheek, a whispered goodbye and he's gone.
***
You awake early the next morning, like pre-alarm early. Not that you slept very much anyway, it's been only two and a half hours since Jimin left your apartment. Most of that time you spent dozing in a light sleep, odd dreams of Jungkook and Jimin plaguing your subconscious. There's a futile attempt to get back to sleep before you decide to get up.
You wash and get ready even though it's still a few hours before Hyerin is due to arrive to help you move. She insisted she was fine to do so and you'd argued back on forth about letting a pregnant woman lift anything, regardless of how far along she is. Eventually she'd succumbed and managed to rope in her friend Taehyung. You'd promised them pizza as a thank you.
As you stare into the mirror, the person staring back at you looks exhausted. You almost don't even want to bother with makeup but the bags underneath your eyes are telling you that you need it. When you're finished you look better, but marginally.
"You look like you haven't slept." Are the first words out of Hyerin's mouth the moment she see's you. Who you presume to be Taehyung hangs awkwardly behind her before you're introduced. He merely gives you a polite nod and a hello.
"I haven't. Not much." You sigh. "I really appreciate you both helping me out today."
Hyerin waves it off like it's no problem at all, even though it must be a huge inconvenience for her and especially for Taehyung who doesn't even know you. It doesn't take long for the three of you to load up Hyerin and Taehyung's cars and you're thankful you only have to make one trip. You're keen to be long gone by the time Jungkook comes back.
"You can ride with me, Taehyung will meet us at my place." Hyerin says as she closes the trunk of her car. You nod in agreement.
"One sec, I'm just going to grab my phone." You tell her as she gets in the car. You head back to your apartment for one last time.
It looks...sad. It's not entirely empty, Jungkook's items taking up a poignant amount of space but it looks stripped. Every little touch that said you lived there is gone. Reality weighs on your chest like a deadweight. You can't help but feel emotional and tears begin to well in your eyes.
There's only one thing left to do now, and that's to leave your copy of the key. If you had told past you one week ago this is where you'd be you wouldn't believe it. It's all very sudden.
You slip the key off your keychain and leave it on the kitchen counter, hoping it would be easy for Jungkook to find. It looks lonely lying against the countertop. An idea occurs to you and you grab a pen and paper from one of the junk drawers in the kitchen. You write a note to Jungkook.
Jungkook, I know you're angry, hurting and probably hating me right now. I get it. I never wanted any of this to happen, for us to end this way. Don't forget the good times we had, I know I won't. I really did love you Kookie, regardless of how much we both fucked up. - Y/N
It doesn't feel like enough, nothing ever would be, but your conscience urged to be alleviated, how ever slight.
***
In a way you're almost thankful that it's exam season for you. It's a welcome distraction from everything else going in your life. The last few days have been spent holed up in Hyerin's spare room under what can only be described as a small mountain of books and graphic designs. It's your final year, and the workload is the most it's been yet.
It's a struggle to keep Jimin and Jungkook from your thoughts as you attempt to focus. You haven't heard from either of them in the last few days, not that you were expecting anything at all but it doesn't stop you shedding a few tears every night before bed.
You hear the doorbell ring as you study and your ears perk up in interest. Namjoon was here. Today was the day that Hyerin was going to tell him she was pregnant. You offered to make yourself scarce but she was insistent that you remained, in case everything went disastrously. At least you would be there as shoulder to cry on.
It seems voyeuristic to listen in and you try your best not to, debating on whether you should put music on. Although, you're not really stoked on the idea of alerting Namjoon to your presence, having yet to face him or any other of Jungkook's friends since everything went down. The whole thing was just awkward.
You want to give them their privacy so you search for your headphones, their muffled voices already carrying down the hall. As you're selecting a song to listen to you hear Namjoon yell fuck loudly. He was loud at the best of times so you're not surprised you can hear him through the concrete walls.
Hyerin's voice is much softer so you don't hear her reply.
You cue up some songs and slip your headphones on, drowning out the noise. It's even harder to read your coursework material knowing god knows what is going on just a few feet from your bedroom door. It's only minutes later when a crash richochets through the apartment. The sound is so loud you hear it above your music.
"What the - " You gasp, pulling the headphones down. There's silence for a beat before you hear Namjoon again, this time he's practically screaming 'you've ruined my life'. Your heart aches for your friend who you know will be emotional anyway because of the pregnancy.
"Namjoon, it's not as if I did this by myself." You here her say. "Or on purpose!"
"Well you know what you have to do now, don't you?" He replies. You can imagine the sneering look of disgust that is Hyerin's face right now. Namjoon clearly wanted her to have an abortion, but did he have to be so fucking tactless about it? You don't know how your friend feels about that particular idea but you can imagine Namjoon's tone of voice helps nothing.
"Can't we at least talk about this rationally? This is not a decision that should be taken lightly."
"There's nothing to talk about!" Namjoon yells. "I can't deal with this! You were just a good fuck who is getting carried away. Nothing more!"
You physically wince at his words. You know it's a lie, you've seen them together and you knew Namjoon well enough to know he really liked her. He was the one who made the relationship official, no matter how much he's pretending now.
"Get out." Hyerin's icy voice is stern but shaky. It's obvious she's trying not to cry. If Namjoon responds you don't hear it. The next thing that can be heard is the sound of the front door opening and then slamming shut.
It's as if you're frozen in place, unable to move. On one hand you want to venture out of your room to see if your friend is okay but on the other you really don't want to reveal you heard every single harsh word exchanged. Before you can make up your mind the decision is made for you with three small knocks at your door.
"y/n?"
You wait a moment and then open the door. Hyerin is already in tears and she practically throws herself into your arms the instant she sees you. You hug her back as best you can. It's silent between you too apart from her sobbing. You doubt there's anything in the world you can say in this moment that can possibly make her feel better, so you just try and follow her lead and be there for her as best you can.
Eventually you break apart. "What can I do? Do you want some food or some tea?" You ask uncertainly. She shakes her head.
"I'm feeling too nauseous to stomach anything." She whimpers.
"Do you...want to talk about it?"
"No." She says but contradicts herself when she walks into the room and slumps down on your bed. "Did you hear him storm out?" You nod sadly as you join her. "Asshole." She mutters.
"Yeah, it's kind of a dick move. I take it he didn't react well?"
"That's an understatement." She scoffs. "He wants me to get rid of it. Just like that, without even talking about it."
"I'm not exactly his closest friend, but I do know him pretty well. He's probably just in shock." You offer. It's the truth, Namjoon was really similar to Jungkook in that way, both of them could be volatile when it came to negative emotions.
"And I'm not? He's only thinking about himself." She grabs the nearest pillow and groans into it with frustration. "What the fuck do I do now?" She looks at you. Her face is stained with tears and her make up is ruined. You feel for her. "Is it beyond crazy if I have this baby? Tell me the truth, y/n. Please."
You lick your lips and pause, thinking for a moment. Namjoon and Hyerin have only been official for a few months, for even mature adults in a faithful relationship that's far too early to have a baby. The whole thing was messy and ugly and you would feel just as conflicted if the shoe was on the other foot.
"I can't tell you how to live your life or make this decision for you, I think if it's something you really want, it's not crazy. This is going to sound harsh but you might have to face the possibility of doing it without Namjoon." You tell her gently. "But! That doesn't mean you'll be alone. You've got me, your family, your other friends I know will support you too."
"Do you think Namjoon would even make a good dad?" She asks. The question makes you flinch inwardly. "I've never even seen him around kids. I have no point of reference."
You recall a memory you have of Namjoon playing with Yoongi's nephews once at a garden party. It was cute, he was wonderful with them...because he was like a giant kid too. That doesn't necessarily qualify him as dad material. He was one of the most irresponsible people you knew.
"I've seen him with kids," You tell her softly. "He's great! He's the kind of guy to roll around on the floor and play like he's just as into the game as they are." She smiles a little at your words. "As far as being a parent? I have no idea. Some people crumble under that pressure. But sometimes, that pressure can bring out a side of you that you never knew existed."
Hyerin lets out a long, contemplative sigh and goes quiet for a few moments. "Maybe you're right." She moves to stand up. "Thanks for that y/n, that really helped. Do you feel like coming with me to tell my parents?" She laughs and you can tell she's joking. "Consider Namjoon a walk in the park compared to them."
"My limited therapist skills can only stretch so far, Hyerin." You joke.
"Worth a shot."
***
It's barely over two weeks later when you sit your final exam. You don't feel as if you've done particularly well even though you were as prepared as you could possibly be and it would be weeks before you found out the results. It's with an anxious mind you head home from campus to change into your work clothes. An eight hour shift is the last thing you feel like doing at the moment, but it's not as if you have a choice.
As you're rummaging through your bag for your keys you almost collide with Namjoon, who is waiting outside of the apartment you share with Hyerin. It's a shock, as far as you knew he had been avoiding her messages and calls entirely. Your mouth falls open in silent shock when you see him.
"Hi y/n," He says slowly and the awkward tension between you is palpable. Personally you haven't seen him since the night you caught Jungkook cheating on you. "I was hoping to catch Hyerin but she isn't home. I was just going to wait..."
"She's working, but she shouldn't be long." You shift uncomfortably. "You can come in and wait or...?"
"Yeah I'll come in. If that's ok."
You give him a curt nod and he follows you inside. Neither of you speak for what feels like forever but in reality it's only a minute or two. "You can hang out in the living room if you want. I have to go get ready for work."
Without waiting for a reply you hurry to your room where you change quickly into your waitress uniform and tie your hair into a bun. You hope Hyerin gets here soon so you don't have to make small talk with Namjoon but you have a horrible feeling you won't be so lucky.
When you're done you head to the kitchen to fix yourself something to eat. He's sitting on the sofa, looking bored as he lazily scrolls through his phone. He looks up upon hearing you walk by and your eyes meet. "Do you want something to eat or drink?" You can't help but ask, the polite hostess in you rearing it's head.
"No thanks." He mumbles.
You send Hyerin a quick text as you wait for your soup to heat up, letting her know he's here. Thankfully she's only a few minutes away, information which you relay back to Namjoon. He only nods.
By the time you've eaten and you're ready to leave Hyerin still isn't home. You saunter to the living room and sit opposite him, he watches you curiously. "About everything that's happened - "
"I don't want to hear it. I know what you did to Jungkook, I don't need to talk about it." He responds gruffly, taking you aback. You swallow dryly, that wasn't what you were going to bring up.
"Actually," You begin coldly. "I was going to talk about you and Hyerin."
"That's none of your business." He says equally as icy.
"Why are you being so rude to me? I was going to say I know it's a difficult situation but it's a good thing you're here and I respect you for that." You say, getting angrier. Namjoon looks slightly embarrassed, color slightly tinting his cheeks. "But you know what? Fuck that. You might not want this baby but have you ever thought this baby might not want you? You think a kid dreams about having an alcoholic, drugged up man whore for a father?!"
Namjoon looks away, jaw tense as he shakes his head in disbelief. "Jungkook was right, you're a fucking bitch."
"Why do you both think women that hold you accountable for your actions are bitches? Grow up." You stand now, knowing this can only go downhill from here. You need to remove yourself from the situation. As he is about to give you what is no doubt a scathing retort you're both interrupted by the front door opening. Hyerin was home.
Her gaze immediately flicks between you and Namjoon. "Hi..." She says cautiously.
"Hey," You manage to sound at least somewhat normal but the tension hands heavy in the room. "I'm late for work, I gotta run. Text me later?"
"Sure." She replies, a little bewildered, the only thing she can do is watch you hurry out the door. In your haste you forget a jacket, cursing yourself the moment you get outside.
***
The manila envelope arrives two weeks before your graduation ceremony and in it contains the written proof of four years accumulated hard work. You'd already checked your grades online that morning but somehow the visual of it in black and white on tangible paper feels more substantial. You were expecting to pass if you were truly honest with yourself, however you were not expecting to pass with a Distinction.
It's been a dream of yours since you learned how to draw in school and now that it's come true it doesn't quite feel real. Your hand twitches as you hold your phone, resisting the urge to text Jimin and share the good news. He would have wanted to know, the topic of your studies was something he always expressed an interest in, sweetheart that he was.
One and a half months had passed since that uncomfortable last night at Jungkook's apartment. Jimin remained true to his word, giving you space. Even if it sometimes felt like too much space to you. Absence really did make the heart grow fonder, you think dryly. You missed him. Not the sex, not the secrecy, the person.
You have half a mind to reach out to him but the worry that it would complicate things further stops you. You've spent too long being selfish, you can't continue to do so anymore.
The only thing in your life that doesn't feel uncertain right now is the college degree you've just earned. Your personal life may be a disaster zone but at least one thing fell into place. Already you've been looking at places to intern, taking a special interest in big cities away from here. Often you've caught yourself wondering if the best course of action was to just leave.
"The guys are playing a gig tonight." Hyerin's voice brings your attention to her. You hadn't even noticed her walk into the room. "I'm going."
She sounds reluctant, as if she didn't want to share that information with you. It makes you feel a little guilty, she shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around you or skirt that topic when it comes up. "Oh? Things are better with Namjoon?"
The past month had been...rocky for the couple. Hyerin had made the decision to have his baby and gave him the option to be as involved as he wanted to be. Initially it went exactly as you'd feared, ending in an argument. Lately however they had been spending more time together. You hoped things would work out for them, truly.
"Yeah, I think so." She shrugged. "He's accepted what's happening at least. We're just taking it slow."
"Good," You say, giving her a soft smile. "I'm glad. Where are they playing tonight?"
"That weird underground bar in Gangnam, I can't remember the name. Y'know the one that has the red door? You've been there, I'm sure. It's a one off show for the single release."
You know the exact place she's talking about, Jungkook had told you he loved you for the first time and asked you to be his at that bar. Poor naïve past you, didn't know what she was getting herself into when she enthusiastically said yes.
"Ah, yeah. Well I hope you have fun."
"I'll make sure and give Jungkook my best bitchy glare." She teases. You still hadn't told her about you and Jimin and as far as she was concerned, Jungkook was public enemy number one.
"I appreciate the solidarity, but don't do that. Just treat him normally." You tell her. "Seriously, I've made things weird enough without you joining in!"
"Ok, ok." She laughs. "I'll be nice."
***
The next morning you're awoken by a knock at your bedroom door. With no school or work you'd been counting on sleeping in but the universe had other plans for you apparently. You groggily sit up against the headboard, calling for who is obviously Hyerin to enter.
"Hey," She says quietly as she closes the door behind her. "Did I wake you?"
"Yeah, but it's fine." You say, stifling a yawn. "How was last night?"
"Uh..." She trails off as she sits at the foot of your bed, crossing one leg over the other. "I don't think there's a word to convey how much of a disaster it was."
"A disaster? Why?" You feel an impending sense of dread for some reason.
Hyerin shakes her head. "The entire night was just...chaotic. I know you probably don't want to hear it but it was because of Jungkook. He was a complete mess. I've never seen him so drunk."
Well that figures. He always liked drinking after a set. Hyerin probably just wasn't as used to seeing him sloppy like you were.
"That's standard behaviour for him, unfortunately."
"No y/n. It was bad. Even the guys were concerned." Her eyes are wide with worry. She hesitates and you tense, awaiting whatever terrible thing she's about to say. "He arrived absolutely out of it. His pupils were the size of a dinner plate for god sake. Then when we couldn't find him before they went on he was in a bathroom with some stripper doing lines."
Ouch. A stripper. Already.
"Again, that sounds like Jungkook." You sigh.
"Namjoon says he hasn't seen him sober in a month. He thinks he's messing with hard drugs. Not just fucking around with weed and coke."
"Shit."
"Yeah. I know it isn't easy for you to hear this, but Jungkook seems to be on a one way spiral of self destruction. He could barely hold his drumsticks."
That was unusual for him, you've seen him perform before under the influence and he always nailed it. It was almost comical how functional he could be after too many drinks.
"That's the way he deals with things." You say quietly, inside you squirm with anxiety. You wonder if Jungkook is going even further off the rails because of you, because of what you did to him. "Did someone make sure he got home okay?"
"He disappeared with the stripper. No one can get a hold of him."
You close your eyes for a moment to try and still your thoughts, images of him overdosed on a random couch somewhere flash behind your eyes. "I hope he's alright."
Hyerin nods in agreement. "Me too."
It's silent for a few moments, the weight of the situation feels uncomfortable and heavy. There's an urge in you to try and fix everything but you wouldn't even know where to begin.
"Why didn't you tell me about Jimin?" She asks quietly after a while.
"I, uh..." There's no valid excuse other than to save yourself from embarrassment. It's not exactly something you're proud of.
"I asked where Jimin was last night and Jungkook went crazy. Namjoon had to explain why to me."
"I fucked up." You avoid her gaze, opting to stare at the bedspread instead. "I didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize to me." Hyerin says softly. "I was just surprised. I never would have thought you would do something like that."
"Me neither." You admit. "It started off as an accident, believe it or not. Remember when they went to Australia for the first time?" She nods. "That's when it began. I'd just had enough of Jungkook cheating on me. Jimin came over to get something and one thing led to another."
"Are you, like, a thing now?"
"No."
"Do you want to be?" She questions.
"I don't know what I want." You sigh. "Really, I deserve nothing. It feels greedy to want anything."
"Don't be so dramatic." She rolls her eyes with a smile. "Everyone makes mistakes. It's not the end of the world."
***
The graduation ceremony brings out the sentimental side in you. In the crowd you see your mom wiping away tears when you receive your diploma and you can't help but feel a little teary yourself. It's a big moment for you.
Afterwards you agree to join some of your fellow classmates for drinks. You make a quick pit stop at home to change but something on your doorstep distracts you for a moment. There's a colourful bouquet of flowers resting against the wood. You pick them up, feeling slightly perplexed.
They're beautiful, it's undeniable. The scent of them invades your nostrils as you search for a card, hoping to get the identity of the sender. The inscription on the paper is short but you know instantly who they're from.
Congratulations, butterfly x
You're not sure how he knew today was your graduation day (you suspect Hyerin has a role in that somewhere) but your glad to hear from him, even if it's indirectly. Jimin is thinking of you.
You take the flowers inside and put them in some water. The decision to call Jimin to say thank you comes naturally, that's what people do when they receive gifts. It's the perfect excuse.
The phone rings a little too long before he picks up and suddenly you feel nervous.
"Hi." He breathes into the phone and the nerves are gone.
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lemonietrinket · 4 years ago
Text
Camping ||| NCT 127 & WayV x Reader
Share With Taeyong
Genre: Fluff, adventure, mystery, interactive choose-your-own-story Warning(s): References to alcohol use but nothing severe/dangerous Word Count: 2355 Ambience: here
[START]
~~~
“Can I share with you, Yongie?”
The man in question immediately sat up, cheeks aglow with tipsy rouge and a beaming smile. “Of course you can!” 
His arms flew open, childishly beckoning you over and leaving Doyoung to sigh. He didn’t say a word however, and simply shook his head, stepping further over so you could pass and he could get his bed back.  You barely had a chance to offer him a glance of an apology as Taeyong’s face turned from sunshine to a cloudy pout. 
“Y/N...!” he called with a whine.
Ah, yes, you had forgotten how needy a mildly drunk Taeyong could be.
“I’m coming, Yongie, hang on.” There was no way you could wipe the smile off your lips as you stepped awkwardly across the suitcases and to his side.
As soon as you were close enough, no matter what you had intended to do before joining him, he stretched up so he could pull you down. Slowly tumbling into his lap with a yelp, Taeyong merely hummed happily as he pulled you against his chest. His hands slipped round your waist and settled neatly across your stomach, whilst he nuzzled his nose into the back of your neck. Surprised at such the display of affection you weren’t sure what to do, especially with you turned away from him. You continued to giggle while your heart drummed against your lungs. However, when he began to rub small circles into your belly, eventually you let yourself sink into his embrace. He felt so light you were nervous to at first, but you reminded yourself that he was tougher than he looked. Besides, he was the one squeezing you tighter to the point it was getting difficult to breathe.
And so you let yourself lay back, hands joining his and stroking them as you rested your head on his shoulder, leaving him to settle his chin on yours. At your new angle you could finally see him, his shining doe eyes darkened with a sated tiredness as he blinked at you, no smile to be found.
It took you several moments to realise that was because he was exaggeratedly batting his eyelashes at you. And truth be told there was no way you could choke down the laugh that followed. You’d been about to enquire if he’d gotten something in his eyes when he shifted away, pouting at you properly with a flush of pink rising to his nose and cheeks. “What! What did I do?! Did I do something wrong—you hate me don’t you—”
Oh yeah, you’d forgotten that side of the liquor’s effects too.
“No, no Yong!” you interjected before he could ramble any further, sheepishness fluttering through your chest leading you to turn in his loosened grip, your hands reaching for his where they had retreated, “I don’t hate you, I promise I don’t hate you!” Fingers linking carefully with his, he didn’t resist though the smile didn’t return to his beautiful features even as you created a cradle for them. Beginning to worry, you looked across the tent. “Isn’t that right Doyoung?”
It was only then that your gaze glanced to the other side of the tent. You felt bad for how quickly you’d forgotten about the third person there with you, despite being well aware of the effect that Taeyong has on people—and especially you.
Though this was dashed as Doyoung replied, not sparing a single look to either of you and continuing to get into his sleeping bag, “I’m not getting involved.”
“But—!”
“Taeyong is your responsibility now, sucks to be you,” he iterated, a lilt of snark in his voice. “Rip.”
You had half a mind to go to town on him right there and then; tease him for how weird the word felt coming out of his mouth, and as to where he got it from. He was spared only because he was correct, to an extent. Taeyong was still quite upset, and if left in this state without attention for too long, he would only worsen—something you’d learned from unfortunate personal experience.
Turning back to him you found him staring at you, a concerned pout still on his face and glimmering specks in his eyes. “Ignore him Yongie, he’s playing mean.” Reaching up, you stroked the hair out of his eyes where it had fallen, before thumbing his cheeks gently. They were so soft you could’ve melted. “Why don’t we get into bed now? I think Doyoung wants to sleep and we could both do with some.”
After a moment’s thought, he mumbled, “Fine...” However, he did not seem to become any less restless. In fact as his hands left yours, he only seemed to sadden more. 
“It’s ok Yongie,” you began slowly, in the softest voice you could manage, “tomorrow you won’t even remember this.” Your assurance was met with a grumble that you couldn’t quite make out. “Yong?”
“I don’t forget you.”
As he spoke he peered back over his shoulder, and despite the storm and the dim lights he looked nothing less than a masterpiece, the inspiration of a statue briefly catching him and his neutral expression. You were left in utter silence at his cryptic words, and more so at how the corners of his lips briefly upturned before he turned back round and he began to shift himself across the bed to get himself comfortable.
Hanging back, watching him with a dozy smile on your lips, your thoughts ran wild despite what you showed to the rest of the world. Though the relief washing through you offered a temporarily ease, the nerves and confusion broke through its barrier in the end. Could you keep your cool? The man you had a crush on was going to be right next to you for a whole night. Did he feel the same or was this the drink talking? You didn’t think he was quite drunk but then again you hadn’t been there with him for that long. Then again... what did he mean by that? And would he be happy with this the next morning?
You knew you had to be very careful, for his sake.
“If you want me to sleep away from you or on the floor then that’s—”
Taeyong, now with his legs under his blankets, whipped his head up. “No! No you sleep here, next to me. So you’re nice and warm.”
“Are you sure?”
His nose scrunched briefly before he nodded with such a certainty. “I won’t let you sleep on the floor! Now come on.”
Feeling you could do little but follow his instructions, you stepped over to his side while he slipped further beneath the covers, until only his head could be seen. When it was time for you to join him, he lifted the blankets’ edges to help you under.  And no sooner were you lying on your back, blinking at the ceiling than rather confronting the man beside you, Taeyong had rolled closer and rested his head on your shoulder, fitting at your side with a hand clutching at your shirt, as if you were the only provider of safety. 
Your heart leapt and you prayed he couldn’t feel it. You felt over the moon, there was no denying it, but your thoughts continued to race. 
And then the light went out. 
Doyoung murmured an already half-asleep ‘goodnight’ that you echoed without a second thought, while Taeyong merely yawned. It was a cute little yawn, the same one you’d seen while he played animal crossing late in the evening, and it had a special way to awake the butterflies in your stomach. 
Taking the deepest breath you could manage, you folded your arm around him, just in case he took that as a sign you weren’t happy, in his tired and slightly emotional state. It earnt him pressing even closer to you, his nose nuzzling further into your neck. 
But all that followed was quiet, and once again you laid awake, listening to the drops of rain scattering across the canopy of the tent.  Taeyong’s words echoed through your head, their mantra forcing a frown on your face even while you closed your eyes, in an attempt to shut them out. It didn’t work however—you needed an answer
It was such a strange way to phrase something. It implied that he didn’t remember others, or at least to in the same way. Even though it was probably the product of his tiredness mixing with the remnants of alcohol, you couldn’t help but tease at the edges of the hope it brought you. You were special, different from the others, to him, and that meant that you have a chance. 
“Y/N...!” The whisper was low. 
“Yeah?” you answered, without a hint of grogginess.
“You’re still awake...” He sounded happy that you were.
“What’s up?”
There was a pause. “I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep again, so I’m glad I’m not alone.”
Wait, you thought, how long has it been since—
“I’m sorry that you have to take care of me.”
You felt him lift his head upwards, his breath coming to tickle your neck and you wondered what he was looking at. Of course you knew it had to be you, but you wished the dark would just subside for a moment, just to let you see for yourself. 
“I will remember it tomorrow though, I promise!”
“You will?” you uttered, hardly believing it. As soon as liquor entered his system it was as if it triggered a reset within him the next morning. He’d get up and return to being so normal that it was almost unsettling, clearing up any mess he found as he trundled into the kitchen, not a single memory of the night before flickering across his mind.  You remembered the first and only time that you’d been up before him to see it—though ‘up’ was perhaps the wrong term, since you had in fact not slept that night to have not been. Either way, you’d become a molten mess as soon as you spotted him enter the kitchen out of the corner of your eye. His presence had been so small as he slipped through the door, holding it steady so it wouldn’t close with a slam. And then he’d turned, arms crossed to retain some warmth and puffed his cheeks into the fridge. It was impossible to picture this man as the same guy that owned the stage in front of thousands. 
You would have continued your little dream, sighing  like you always did when he stood and smiled sweetly to you slouched at the island counter, when it hit you square in the gut that the real Taeyong had been talking the entire time.
“—like you. So I wasn’t wrong, because that all played a part. And now here I am, with you, finally admitting it. Wow, future-me is going to hate me.”
You cursed to yourself. 
“Really?” you said, swallowing thickly and praying that it was a suitable reaction to whatever he’d been rambling on about.
“Yes! Really!” he reiterated, voice rising from a whisper to a murmur in excitement. It was at that moment that his head lifted and he shifted his weight so he could prop himself up on one arm. His other hand trailed to yours and began to play with your fingers, lifting one to stroke his thumb across the skin there, before scooping up another. His head hovered above your own, his silhouette just standing out in the dark of the night. “Y/N, kiss me.”
You choked, “W-what?”  
The tip of his nose brushed yours as he repeated with a coy grin, “Kiss. Me. Pretty please.”
Heart pumping at a rate abnormal even for you in the vicinity of the biggest crush you’ve ever had, your thoughts flurried while you tried to string together enough words to make a response, Is he serious? Oh god what if I do badly? Will he regret it? What did he said before? Of course, of all the things you had to miss it had to be that, didn’t it?
At last, with your hand in his, your fingers threading through the hair at his nape tentatively, you answered. 
“No.”
There was silence, even the rain had hushed into fine whispers.
“You don’t like me back?” Taeyong asked, voice back down to a whisper, barely audible despite the calm of the storm.
“No, Yong, I do, I really do,” you urged, before sighing once again, cupping his cheek with your palm and giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, “it’s just... you’re drunk. I don’t want you to regret anything, to regret kissing me for the first time... because this would be our first kiss, and alcohol always makes you let things slip.”
Taeyong’s shadow didn’t move, nor did he speak. The dread that seized your stomach crept up to your lungs and throat, leaving you without air for what felt like an eternity. Until, at last, he responded.
“See?” he said, leaning into your touch, “Always taking care of me.”
A smile rose beneath your palm before he fell away and settled back down on your chest. His embrace was stronger this time, his arm wrapped around you fully, his hand holding yours. Despite your negative answer, he didn’t seem discouraged, and if his grip was anything to go by, he felt secure. 
Still, you felt bad. His set-up had a cinematic feel to it, and waiting only meant more time lost. But you reminded yourself that you had all the time in the world, there was no limit for neither you nor him.
So as his breath evened at your neck, his foot slipping across to interlink your legs, you spoke up, “Kiss me tomorrow morning?” The day following the storm was always beautiful, wasn’t it?
He laughed softly, hair tickling your ear. “Yeah, that sounds like a much better idea.”
Breathing your final sigh of relief for the night, your turned your head so your chin could rest against his crown. “Goodnight, Yongie.”
“Goodnight, Angel.”
.
.
.
Replay?
~~~
an: i feel like im in a real writing funk rn. nothing feels like its any good. or genuine. or cute or anything. is it just me or is that actually true... idk anymore
also i actually wrote out what yong was saying that yn didnt pay attention to (so when i sliced it, it would sound more realistic) and i think its really cute and funny so i dont want it to be left unknown but also its so small so idk what to do with it
᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃
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queercode-my-minecraft · 6 years ago
Text
Words: 884
Ship/s: romantic Analogince
Warnings: crying, self deprecating, negative self talk, alcohol mention, being drunk mention, making out mention
Notes: I should not be writing this, I wrote this instead of working on a different more important project. Also, titles are hell and Roman is kinda weird
The first thing that Virgil noticed, when he busted in the apartment, makeup under his eyes darker as ever and on the verge of tearing up, was how calm and relaxed Logan and Roman seemed.
Logan was sitting on the couch, wearing an oversized Nasa shirt, revealing his collarbones, his fingers carding through Roman’s hair, who was resting his head on the others lap, still in his sports bra. They looked so happy, and not having him around to disturb them probably helped.
Quietly he took his jacket off and, trying not to get caught by the two, he trudged towards his room, footsteps heavy.
“Virgil? I didn’t hear you coming in.”
Logan’s cool voice made him stop in his tracks, tears beginning to slowly flow down his face.
“‘Sup, L.”
He said with a strangled voice, not daring to turn towards him.
Disappointment. That was what he was. An enourmas disappointment that fell for the wrong people and hurt everything he touched.
“Virgil?” Roman. Handsome and strong Roman. Voice full of concern.
Concealing a sob, Virgil went back towards his room. However, before he could reach the safe haven of his room, Roman parried before him.
Virgil looked down at the smaller man, noticing with surprise the headphones, that he had gifted him for his birthday, around his neck and his beautiful eyes, usually filled with pride and wonder, full of worry.
“I-“ He wasn’t able to finish the sentence, as a sob broke him, the tears finally streaming down his face unconcealed.
Worthless. Useless.
“What happened? Did someone hurt you?” Asked Logan, as Roman took Virgil’s bag away and directed him to the couch. He knew that both would jump at the throat of whoever insulted him, tearing them apart. Just for him.
He had ruined their alone time. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve their affection, their love-
“Ju- just a bad- d- day.”
They were going to pity him. See him as he stuttered and cried and was hopeless and stupidly vulnerable and they would hate him and pity him, because he’s unworthy of everything, especially of them.
Roman pressed a kiss on his temple, an arm around his shoulders and the other hand cleaning away his tears.
“It’s okay, my Stormy Prince. We’re here, you’re okay. Everything’s alright.”
At the words Virgil sagged, falling in Roman and Logan’s secure embrace.
“Virgil, focus on my voice. We’re going to do the breathing exercises you taught me.”
Virgil nodded and Logan took his hand. Together, all three of them, followed Logan’s voice, taking deep breaths and exhaling.
It took a minute, maybe a little bit more, but, Virgil was breathing normally, his thoughts still on the verge of spiralling into pure heretic panic. However, now there weren’t tears spilling and he wasn’t holding on the two as if they were his anchor.
“I’m sorry you saw that.” Murmured Virgil, afraid of the look in the other two eyes.
God, he had ruined everything. Like usual.
Roman pressed another kiss, this time on his cheek.
“Don’t say sorry, you’ve seen me drunk after a show and you took care of both of us after I accidentally spiked the punch at Patton’s house and got us both drunk…”
“Roman, that wasn’t an accident.” Interrupted Logan, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend.
“Shush, yes, it was.”
Logan sighed, not able to hide the fondness in his eyes. “What I presume Roman is trying to say is that we don’t have a problem with you crying or being vulnerable, for we let us be vulnerable in front of you too. Besides, we love you and we’re here for you.”
Virgil chuckled remembering the nights Roman mentioned, before the realisation of Logan’s words finally seeped in. Logan wasn’t one to say the word love without meaning, that could only mean a couple of things.
“Wh- when you say love, do you mean, love as in like loving pizza or as in love love?” Asked in a barely audible whisper Virgil.
“Well, if you put it like that. If I could I would make out with pizza... and you. But, I’m probably going to enjoy kissing you more.”
“What Roman is trying to say is that we do love you in a romantic sense and we would be honoured if you would enter a romantic relationship with us.” Concluded Logan, throwing a glare at Roman, who winked at him grinning.
Virgil remained quiet, half of him wanted to go everywhere but be there with them. That half wanted to run and never look back, because he was scared of hurting them and scared of why he felt so giddy at their question. He knew he would mess up and that he didn’t deserve the two amazing and passionate men by his side, and he knew he never would.
However, he smiled softly.
“I’d love to.”
Logan shared one of his rare smiles and Roman fell on top of Virgil, peppering his face with tiny kisses. Virgil giggled, face flushing bright red, making he other two fall even harder for him.
The three fell asleep hours later, in Roman and Logan’s room, Virgil sleeping soundly between them, a fond smile still etched on his face.
And, for maybe just a moment, everything seemed truly alright.
Taglist: @daring-elm @my-analogical-romance @patchworkofstars @max-is-tired @uwingmydings @punsterterry @heck-im-lost @1-800-im-not-ok
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yzngserpent · 6 years ago
Text
Sweet Pea x Male! Reader
Prompt: sometimes I just feel like writing some filthy shit, and I thought it would be cool to write something where sweet pea isn’t always the bad boy he puts on.
Title: be my daddy?
Warnings: smut • daddy kink • soft SP
haha don’t flag my disgusting mind tumblr im warning you...
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The clock on the living room wall ticked loudly in your ears as you tried to fall asleep. you’d been out at a house party only an hour ago but had left early due to being tired. your boyfriend of only a few weeks Sweet Pea, had been roped into staying by Fangs, which you were fine with, but you were now paying the price as your phone dinged for the 100th time since you had gotten home.
baaaby
(Y/N)
r u awaaake
baaaabyy 😥
you unlocked your phone with a small smirk and typed in your reply.
yes sweets what is it?
just as you tapped send, a loud bang sounded on your trailer door, making you jump up in fright.
“(Y/N)!”
it was Fangs.
worry started to swirl in the pit of your stomach as you stood up to answer the door. was sweet pea ok? as you turned the door knob and peered outside, you were met with not only Fangs, but sweets as well who was hanging off of him with a sad look on his face.
“where’s my (Y/N)?”
he whined, and Fangs smirked at you with a playful roll of his eyes.
sweet pea was clearly drunk.
“hi baby”
you cooed in a cocky tone, his eyes lighting up at the site of you.
“(Y/N)!”
he leaped into your arms, making you grunt from the impact. the smell of cheap liquor and sweet pea’s scent filled your nose as you let him cuddle into you while you lead him inside.
you gave Fangs a small wave before you shut the door and placed your boyfriend gently on the couch.
“I think I’ll get you some water”
you said, getting up.
“No, stay!”
he whined, pulling you back down.
you laughed quietly, swooning over how cute he was being. for a guy who puts up a bad ass front for everyone else, it made you feel sheepish how different he acted with you.
“I wanna ask you something, but you can’t laugh or think I’m a weirdo, do you promise?”
sweets urged, his eyes staring intently into yours. oh god, what is it? you nodded anyway, facing him.
his cheeks burned bright red before he even began to speak, and you started to feel anxious as he kept stumbling over his words, not forming a coherent sentence.
“sweets what-“
“be my daddy?”
he finally blurted out, causing your jaw to gape open. what did he just ask?
sweet pea stared at you with expectant eyes, his bottom lip caught sexily between his teeth as you let the words sink in. be my daddy.
“ahh! sorry that was fucking stupid!”
pea yelled out as he shot up from the sofa and paced towards the kitchen. you watched him walk away, your eyes undressing him as your cock twitched in your jeans and excitement bubbled in your chest. you thought it might be a wild dream, but you didn’t care, you were going to fuck the bad ass out of him.
“hey!”
you shouted, moving to catch up with him. you grabbed his hips, pushed him firmly up against the fridge, then stared intensely into his dark eyes.
“be a good boy and talk to me, tell daddy what you want”
you half growled, half moaned.
the thought of him whimpering beneath you and calling you daddy sparked a new sense of arousal in you that you hadn’t felt before, and you felt yourself slowly losing your mind.
sweets gasped, then moaned a little, his hands grabbing at your flannel shirt.
“I want you to fuck me so hard daddy, I want you to dominate me”
he whimpered, his hot breath fanning against your face.
you couldn’t help it, you groaned out loud, your hands tightening around his hips.
“anything for my boy”
his lips crashed onto yours, moving feverishly against you and you pushed your tongue into his mouth, asserting your dominance. a few of the fridge magnets tumbled to the ground as you lifted him up by the back of his thighs and carried him towards the bedroom.
lust clouded his mind as he melted into you, the kiss never breaking until you threw him onto the bed and ripped his shirt off his body.
“I want you right nooow”
he damanded, removing his bottom half of clothing quickly by himself. you ripped your own clothes off next, breaking the buckle on your belt in the process.
“I’ll bark the orders around here boy”
you growled.
sweet pea spread his legs for you as you crawled up his body and pressed your hard cock against his. he gasped and grabbed at your shoulders.
“say sorry to daddy”
Sweet Pea bit his bottom lip as you growled him, excitement racing through his veins. but he didn’t reply quick enough. you wrapped your hand around his neck and squeezed, your jaw clenching.
“say it. now.”
“I’m sorry!”
he moaned.
“sorry what?”
“sorry daddy!”
you smirked, leaning down to brush your lips against his.
“good boy”
you whispered.
Sweet Pea let out another moan as you skilfully licked his bottom lip. he began to fall apart beneath you as you left open mouthed kisses down his neck, teasing him by slightly rocking your hips into him.
“daddy please”
his whimpers drove you crazy but you continued to tease him, sucking and biting his neck while trailing your fingertips along his thighs. sweet pea’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he bucked his hips up, hoping to feel you.
“beg for it baby”
you whispered, biting down against his already marked skin.
sweets ran his hands up the back of your neck and gripped tightly onto your hair, making your cock harden even more.
“p-please!”
“please what?”
you growled again, biting down on his neck. he whined and rocked his hips up, gripping onto your (hair color) hair even tighter.
“please daddy... touch me! fuck me! I want you so bad, d-daddy please!”
his desperate whines made you groan out loud, he was so unbelievably sexy when he did that, something you thought you would never see. but it was all you needed.
you spat violently into your hand, lubed yourself up, then pressed the tip of your cock against his entrance, making him gasp. his legs were now over your shoulders and your hands were placed next to his head as you pushed deeper into him.
“ow!” he cried out.
you could see the pain on his face, but it only turned you on even more. he stared into your eyes helplessly and reached for you.
you grabbed his hands and pushed them back down, firmly holding them in place.
“no, no. this is what you begged for baby”
goosebumps raised all over his skin as your hot breath tickled his ear, making his cock throb with need.
you gave him little time to adjust before you began to rock your hips against him, building a steady rythm. his pain very quickly turned into pleasure, and he cried out, a malicious moan erupting from his sweet red lips.
pleasure quickly took over all of your senses, and you were both moaning and swearing against each other.
“oh fu-!”
you quickly slammed your hand over his mouth as you heard the front door open and close. your father, FP Jones had returned home from work.
you listened and waited until he shut his bedroom door, then looked at Sweet Pea with a very cheeky look in your eyes.
“quiet now baby”
you whispered.
you then began to thrust again, deeper, then harder then faster, making sweets fully submit beneath you.
“ooh daddy...”
he moaned, making you put your hand over his mouth again. he moaned into it, and tugged at your hair again, making you muffle your own groans against his sweaty shoulder.
everything about him felt so good and you shamefully didn’t know how much longer you could last. sweet pea watched you with glazed over eyes, his fingers now digging into the skin on your back.
you could feel his hot breath against the palm of your hand and he moaned again, throaty and full of need, almost pushing you over the edge.
“fuck you’re so good baby, such a good boy”
you whispered into his ear, making him whimper in pleasure. he clawed your hand away from his mouth, then seductively began to suck on your fingers, driving you crazy.
“daddy I’m so close”
sweet pea dropped your hand, gripped onto your shoulders and threw his head back with a loud, filthy moan.
“shhh!”
you grabbed sweet pea by the hips then skilfully flipped the two of you over so he was now straddling you.
“ride it out baby, fucking ride it out”
you pressed your hand to his mouth again, muffling his whimpers as you thrusted in time with his bounces, your free hand wrapping around his pre cum dripping cock.
it only took you three strokes before his body began to shake and his cum spurted out all over your bare torso. his nails broke the skin on your biceps, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and filthy muffled moans escaped his lips one after the other as your cock and hand made him explode.
the site of him cumming and the feeling of him clenching around you sent you into your own orgasm, and the way he watched you with glazed over eyes made your climax all the more better as you released inside of him.
his dark and thick black hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, and as you removed your hand from his swollen mouth, his forehead fell against yours and you both sat there in silence, slowly coming back down to earth.
• • •
“hey there brother”
smirked Jughead.
“hello”
you replied, moving your gaze from your phone screen to the front of the classroom.
Jughead had called a serpent meeting in school, and you and Fangs were the first ones there. the others arrived a few minutes late, including sweets.
when he saw you he smiled and made his way over to the desk you were sitting on. you greeted him with a quick kiss on the lips then he sat down on the desk chair beside you.
“looks like you two had fun last night”
it was Toni who spoke up first.
Sweet Pea’s cheeks flushed a crimson red and he looked at you with cheeky eyes. his neck was covered in small bite marks and fresh hickeys, not easy to hide.
everyone looked at the two of you, their faces wary but snickering. sweet pea looked away from you and adverted his gaze towards Toni.
“that’s none of your business Topaz”
he said.
she put her hands up in fake surrender, then Fangs kicked off next.
“oh come on sweet pea, (Y/N), give us some details!”
Fangs then moved over to his best friend and playfully grabbed his shoulders, giving him a little shake. the two of them playfully fought until Jughead spoke up again.
“I’m not sure (Y/N) is the right name for my brother anymore...”
your eyes darted to your brother, a warning look in your eyes. your heart sped up in nervousness, and Sweet pea pushed Fangs away, his eyes moving to look at you.
“oh? well what is the right name?”
Toni smirked, looking from Jughead to you.
“Daddy-“
“That’s enough!”
you shouted as you launched at him.
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tobacconist · 5 years ago
Text
my house got hit with a nasty strike of bad luck last night, all at once, i think around one o clock till about half past; i blame the full moon in scorpio (i believe saturn, venus, and pluto were retrograde at the time too. not sure if they still are)
i didnt feel like writing it at the time because i was too upset
had a really good day before then too. dads been depressed recently and wed sat out in the sunshine n had a smoke n laugh. we played dominoes later on.
ill say it started with my dad gettin absolutely wankered, like really fuckin drunk n stoned, the kind of wankered where you think youre completely fine but you aint and you wont listen to anyone telling you to sit the fuck down or go to bed
anyway, mum went to bed about 11, told us both to get to bed early (because she is the only sensible person in this house) dad said he was going soon after he’d finished his wine (like he does every night) but he filled his glass a few more times and stayed up.
eventually he went to bed, i told him not to keep coming down to pester me and that id go soon after. of course he came down a few times (its like an incredibly unfunny farce every night) to eat crisps and drunkenly ask me why i wasnt in bed ‘give me some fuckin peace and i’ll likely go to bed sooner!’ i said its a farce
i was trying to think about designing an expanded dominoes set which also functions as a jenga set, and perhaps could be used as some kind of analog calculator a bit like an abacus. i was looking up variations on the game of dominoes and thinking about the esoteric significance of the game
of course i couldnt think about it in peace for long, cus dad came down once again to ask me why i wasnt in bed yet ‘because you wont let me have any fucking peace to think!’ i said ‘the sooner you go to bed the sooner i go to bed!’ it really is like this every fuckin night
‘alright, alright, im going to bed. dont be too long’ he said.  then i heard the dog coming down the stairs ‘fuck sake! dont wake mum up for fuck sake, she’ll come down and yell at both of us!’ i thought then he said (to the dog) ‘oh, do you need a wee?’ n then i got a real bad feeling that i couldnt really place, like everything was going to suddenly go wrong.
i hide his wineglass because for fuck sake if he comes back downstairs im not gonna get any peace hes bumblin around makin a load of noise, then he shuts the door so i presume the dogs inside.
then he comes to me! asking me where the dog is, i say ‘didnt you just let him out? is he inside?’ he shouts to my poor mother, who is just trying to sleep ‘is the dog up there with you!’ she yells back ‘NO! YOUVE JUST LET HIM OUTSIDE YOU STUPID BASTARD!’ or words to that effect. she’s really angry and im like ‘hhhhhhhhhh fuck sake’
i start panicking, for personal insane paranoid reasons (basically a picture of my dog taken that day had a strange lense flare from the sun that, sorta, yknow in the film the omen where they take a picture but theres a weird streak on it and then later the person gets impaled by a huge steel beam. looked sort of like a downward swung scythe to me. praying its just the light, but yeah i got really paranoid.) so i was suddenly like ‘holy shit holy shit is something going to happen to my dog’, i grab my torch and sprint into the garden with my shoes on the wrong feet. i hear my dog suddenly yelp and im genuinely prepared for the worst.
mum had come downstairs now and was yelling like fuck at my dad, who was barely lucid, like, not even understanding why she was angry, and that jus made her angrier)
thankfully, my dog was okay. hed found a hedgehog in the garden, once again, and was once again trying to beat it up and play with it.  i grab his collar and send him back inside. i look at the hedgehog. its all curled up, and i can see that its bleeding. its breathing still though, breathing really heavily. i half cover my torch so as not to frighten it any more and watch it for a bit.
i go back into the kitchen and my mum asks whats wrong, i hesitate for a moment and then tell her dog was being nasty to a hedgehog. i should tell you that hedgehogs are my mums favourite animals, she collects ornaments and paintings of hedgehogs. she really loves them
i dont really know what to do, so i go to the fridge and get an egg and crack it half open, i go back outside and leave it nearby. i notice that mums come outside too, and she asks where it is. i dont want to scare it anymore by getting too close so i just shine the torch on it for a few seconds and point out where its bleeding.
we go back inside, now both feeling really sad. dad is wandering around the house demanding to know where his wine glass is not at all aware of whats happened. mum says shes gonna go for a cig and then try to go back to bed.
i shut the dog in the back room with the curtains closed, i only do that when hes really bad. was too sad even to yell at him. left him in there on his own for atleast an hour an d a half. really disappointed in him. i hope he realises what he did was bad, and i hope he never does it again. hedgehogs are friends.
i went into the living room and sat down and had a drink. dad was still wandering round looking for his wine glass. i say ‘you know the dog just really hurt a hedgehog’ he says ‘dont tell me that right now, i dont want to hear it. where have you put my wine glass!??’ hes just madly looking around calling me a thief, i tell him i havent stolen it, just moved it, but hes drunk too much anyway’ this is another another weekly farce.
he finds it eventually, and sits down. my mum comes in the room now, and i can tell she’d been crying. she says maybe we should put it in a cardboard box or something, i say i dont want to disturb or traumatise it anymore, and it wouldnt want to be in our house anyway. we discuss it for a while, dad keeps making suggestions about what takeaways are open or something because hes half asleep and not actually listening to what were saying.
eventually we decide that i’ll check on it in a few hours to see if its still there or dead or what and if its still alive then i’ll put it in a box and see if we can take it to the vets in the morning (not likely, since theyre only open for emergencies atm)
she goes to bed, dad goes a little while after, still smugly talking about how i should be in bed and mumll be upset if im up to late, cus hes completely out of it
then, just as i put youtube on to distract myself, the internet goes down for like 15 minutes.
i jus sit there refreshing the page. it comes back on after a little while.
i idly browse but cant enjoy anything. i think about writing a tumblr post about it (as i am doing now) but it feels wrong at the time.
i open omegle and tell the first person who’ll listen jus to get it off my chest, theyre very kind, and then we idly chat about some shit. i start to feel better.
then i go have a look in the garden; the hedgehog is gone and the egg is unfinished. i dont know if that means a fox got it, or whether it shuffled away somewhere to die or if it was ok and it wandered off thinking ‘never fucking ever coming to this garden again!’ hopefully the last, but thats still sad. i know hedgehogs are pretty resilient animals. i hope it was okay
i let the dog out of the room about 2 because he started scratching at the door. i didnt say anything i just sent him up to bed. he had an ashamed face. i hope he never does it again.
then i stayed on omegle all night until about 6am. stupid thing to do but i felt better after a while. 
i feel the evil energy was gone in the morning. the moon has begun to wane and moved into sagittarius. mum seems alright. dont know if dad remembers anything from late last night. im feelin okay, jus real hungover. drank a lot more than i meant to
dont think im gonna proof read this so it might be a bit rambling. jus wanna get it off my chest
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longeyelashedtragedy · 5 years ago
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Writer ask meme
I was tagged by the flamazing @feedingmyinsomnia​ <333 and i will tag...if you want!... @perfectpiety @amethyst-fox-jv @ayerlind @sitkowski and anyone else who writes who sees this!  but you don’t have to, just feel honored that i tagged you ;)
ao3 name: catmanu!
fandoms: currently writing in the football (as in soccer) rpf fandom, but always have other things on my mind as well.
number of fics: i’ve written SO many in my lifetime and most have never been published anywhere.
fic i spent the most time on: technically “exit right” because it took me like...a year and a half to write it?  in terms of like...period of time spent actively writing it’s definitely “trophy boyfriend.”
fic i spent the least amount of time on: either “fly faster!” which i wrote in like, an hour or “jet ski još čeka” which i wrote over the course of a day.
shortest fic: my shortest standalone fic on ao3 is “the world drowned” at 370 words--my ancient shireen baratheon/rickon stark futurefic 
most hits / most kudos / most comment threads / most bookmarks / highest total word count:  ok im leaving out the drabble collections.  omg without even looking i know this is all gonna be fuckin... “captivated” because i’m The arya/jaqen person on ao3 even now.  let’s see.  most hits: “captivated,” most kudos: “captivated,” most comment threads: “trophy boyfriend,” most bookmarks: “captivated,” highest total word count: “trophy boyfriend.”  sigh
favorite fic i wrote: omg i think i made a post like this recently?   most recently my favorite fics are “trophy boyfriend,” “5.VII.,” “ça c’est ma dope,” “what we do in the élysée,” “victory rain,” “the heat of it all,” “soy loca con mi tigre,” “chief of the armed forces.”  in the past i love all my arya/jaqen stuff so much.  i really do love most of what i’ve written that i posted, but these stand out to me.  oh, and how could i forget-- “modernity towering in front of the sky.” still slaps tbqh
fic i want to rewrite/expand on: everything i’ve written is its own thing.  i don’t usually write things that require a sequel or anything, so there isn’t really anything i can think of?
share a bit of a wip or story idea you’re working on:, ok, so, ahhhh.  i post a lot from my current big ass wip “mare liberum,” but another thing i’m agonizing over is my šluka (šime & luka) longfic “we light up the world.”  i thought it was going to be a fun little jaunt but it’s killing me because there’s not much of a precedent for it and i honestly have no idea how to write the pov.  F in the chat for my pov.  but sigh, i’ll stick a bit of it below; read at your own risk...
Tonight there really is a reason for him to be available and he’s had enough rakija on an empty enough stomach (what was the last thing he ate? How come he can’t remember?) to feel like putting his hand on Luka Modrić’s strong heroic leg and leaning into his face till their noses touched just like on Zadar beach and saying…well, he’s not sure what he’d say.  But he has to pretend he’s sober because Luka is pretty sober and his whole family is here anyway.
Fuck it!  They should have just done the grapes thing!
Šime pulls out his phone and makes Deki a Happy New Year! video instead.  It feels really good to talk to Dejan, even if he can’t talk back.
He gets an idea in the middle of this.  “Hey, look,” he says to his phone.   “Look who’s here with me.  Wait for it…wait for it…HEY…CAPTAIN!”
At least Luka looks happy to see him, and that makes him feel warm all over, warmer than you get from drinking alone.  He turns away from Vanja.  “What’s up?”
“Wanna say hi to Dejan with me?  Say hi, Captain Luka.”
Luka smirks.  “Are you two live?  I don’t want to be in any of your lives.”
Šime clutches his heart.  “Did you hear that, Deki?   Our captain doesn’t like our lajjjjjjvs.  Think we should—mutiny.”
Suddenly Luka’s bony chin lands on Šime’s shoulder.  “Happy New Year!” he yells in Šime’s ear.  Šime doesn’t really mind.  “Are you back in Croatia?  How many times have you bullied Davor this—oh, you’re not live.”  He ruffles Šime’s curls.  Dejan’s not going to be too thrilled about that, but considering he and Šime are both, well, married—and not to each other—Šime figures he can’t reasonably complain about someone else touching his ljubavi’s hair.  And he’ll tell Deki that if he does.  “You should have told me.  I feel stupid.”  He winks.
“Well...you said you didn’t want to be in any of our lajjjjjjvs,” Šime sings.  “So, now you’re not.  See?”  He sticks his tongue out at his video for Deki.  “C’mon, brate, I’ll show you who else is here.”  He moves away from Luka quickly.  Just in case.
He isn’t sure how much time has passed, but he’s definitely helped himself to another drink or two or more than two, and suddenly Luka has appeared next to him.  His hair looks so soft and fluffy and beautiful and Šime just wants--really, really wants to take Luka in his arms and put his nose in his hair and just hold him for a long time.  Rest his head on top of Luka’s head, maybe.  Whisper we’re so lucky to have you.  Please don’t ever retire, play until your bones turn to dust.  Please don’t leave.  
“Hey, do you want a ride home?” Luka asks.  All of a sudden he puts his arm around Šime and Šime pinches his leg pretty hard to make sure this is real.  Luka’s arms are—tricky.  When you first see them, you don’t realize how strong they are.  But when you feel them, you know.  And when one of them is wrapping around your shoulders like a big, heavy snake, you really know.  “I don’t know how you got here, but you shouldn’t get home that way.”
Šime snorts.  “Thanks, Mom.  Since when do you care…I’ve seen you way more drunk than I am right now.”
Luka is playing with the ends of his hair.  Why is Luka playing with the ends of his hair?  He pinches his leg again and it stings a little, but, is he dreaming that he’s pinching himself?  Did someone put something in the rakija?  He stares around the room wildly for a second, wondering who in there’s trying to get him in bed.  “Yeah, but I had people to take care of me, then,” Luka says.  “Even if people was just you and Domo holding my legs.”
“Mmmmm,” Šime agrees, remembering much more about those days than just that.
“But especially you.  You always look out for me when I get like…”  Luka gives him a wet kiss on the forehead and lets go of his shoulders.  “So let us drive you back.”
“Uhhhh.”  Šime stares at Luka till his eyes cross.   Wow, he’s definitely more drunk than he thought he was.  “Okay,” he says.
Sofia is asleep by the time they leave.  Vanja carries her to the car.  Their older two’s eyes are closing as they walk, so Luka holds their hands.  Šime walks a few steps behind them, feeling kind of like the family dog.  It’s not too late to call an Uber, right?.  He really should just call an Uber.  He will, actually.  He pulls out his phone only to realize that making Dejan a video had used up all the battery.
“Go on, sit in the front.  Come on.”  Šime blinks. Vanja is smiling at him. 
“No, that’s...You should sit next to Luka. I’m totally cool with sitting with the kids! They’re all so awesome.”
“They’re all so asleep,” Vanja says. Šime peeks into the car. In the back, Ivano and Ema have already passed out. “Take the front. You’re our guest.”
Šime flops into the passenger seat. He doesn’t want to be rude to Vanja, or make anything even more awkward. But it’s just that up here Luka’s cologne smells so strong and it would be so easy to reach over and just touch him while telling him he still thinks about being a Zadar kid with him just about every week. And he’s so bad at resisting temptation when he’s drunk. Mmmmm, my sinner, Dejan would say sometimes. My beautiful sinful sinner, God, my beautiful perfect—
“Hey, got a playlist?” he asks quickly.  If he gets hard thinking about Deki this won’t get any less weird. “How about some Marice, mariceeeeee--”
“I wish,” Luka says. “But the kids…”  Šime watches how the streetlights light up all the interesting angles of his face.  “Once they’re asleep, you’ll do anything to make sure they stay asleep.  You know how that goes.”  
Šime swallows around the guilty lump that’s suddenly appeared in his throat and he nods.  He keeps his eyes fixed on Luka’s face.  Each time a car’s headlights flash across it, it changes.  Sometimes he looks much younger than he is. And sometimes he looks…older than 34.  Like an eternal captain, like he’ll somehow be Šime’s leader forever even after he retires.
“Luka, stop talking to him,” Vanja says from behind him.  “He looks about as exhausted as the kids.”
“What?  That’s like asking me to stop playing football,” Luka says. “I could never stop talking to Šime.”  And keeping his eyes on the road, he takes one hand off the wheel to rest it on Šime’s leg. “We go way back.  Zadar kids and all.”
Suddenly words are hard.  “We, uhhh—yeah.  It’s not like I knew you back in the day.  We don’t go back that f--that--we…”
“What did I say?” Vanja said.  “Your best right-back’s falling asleep.”
“No, ‘m…’m not, I…”  And Luka is gently squeezing his knee, and--
“Maybe help him get inside,” Vanja is saying.  Šime blinks.  Somehow they’re back at his place and he has no idea how it happened.
“Hey, did I snore?  Did I talk in my sleep or something?”
“Nope,” Vanja says.  “I hate to say it, Šime, but you’re pretty boring when you sleep.”
“Oh?”  He yawns.  What is he, an old man all of a sudden?  A few drinks and this is what happens to him?  “Dejan says I’m cudd--”
“Okayyyy, out,” Luka says.  He’s totally covering up a laugh.  Shit!  “That’s a good idea, Vanja.  I’ll get him inside.  Can’t lose a defender, right?”
Šime says goodnight to Vanja, who now definitely knows he and Deki are fucking, but she’s a pretty chill person, so it really could be worse.  His legs wobble underneath him, and he bumps into the warm hood of the car.
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whatadaze · 6 years ago
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Hiii, can you write something about liv accidentally getting tipsy and noah taking care of her?
beware: i’m writing this on my phone bc im lazy af so sorry for any mistakes lol
when janna hands liv a cup of “juice” she’s too distracted to think it’s anything but and takes a sip.
in fact, the “juice” masks any trace of alcohol and liv drinks the whole thing.
the effects don’t hit her right away.
it’s not until a good thirty minutes later when the room begins to spin and her head feels lighter.
her balance is off, and she finds herself laughing at things that she wouldn’t normally think is funny.
“liv, are you okay?”
she jumps in her spot and her face erupts into a wide smile when she sees who it is.
“noah!”
she wraps her arms around his neck and practically jumps on him. fortunately, noah is able to catch her in time and he half walks, half carries her to a nearby sofa.
“liv…did you drink anything by chance?” noah asks, pushing back a stray curl.
liv adamently shakes her head. “of course not! janna gave me some juice earlier but-”
noah eyes widen and he looks over at the “juice” in question sitting on the kitchen counter. he knew for a fact that the keg belonged to gijs, which in turn meant that whatever’s inside is not simply just juice.
he lets out a tired sigh.
“liv,” he says slowly. “you just drank a shit ton of tequila. and rum. and who knows what else gijs put in there. you’re drunk.”
it takes a minute for liv to register what he had just told her.
“i’m drunk?”
she giggles pointing to herself.
“me? fuck, i don’t even remember the last time i had a sip of wine! where is he, i’m gonna kill him!”
liv attempts to jump off the couch but her lack of balance causes her to fall back and onto noahs lap.
“okay lets not add murder to the list of events tonight, yeah?”
liv snuggles her head against his neck.
“mmm,” she sighs. “you always smell so good. why do you always smell so nice?”
noah can’t help but laugh at seeing liv in this state. he really shouldn’t think it’s funny since he knows that liv can’t handle alcohol well, but she’s never been the type to express any sort of pda.
“liv!” janna shouts through the crowd. her red hair sticks to her face and she’s rushing to her with a bottle of water. “fuck i’ve been looking for you everywhere! the juice has alcohol in it! i swear i didn’t know!”
“i know, janna,” she says, lifting her head from noah’s neck. “and now i’m drunk.”
she hiccups.
“well according to him i am,” she laughs. “i feel fine!”
noah takes the water from janna and unscrews the cap before handing it to liv.
“drink,” he orders.
“bossy,” she mutters, but takes a sip.
once liv realizes how thirsty she is, she downs the whole bottle.
“okay let’s get you home now,” noah says, grabbing her waist and carefully lifting her up from the couch.
“no!” liv pouts. “this is my favorite song. let’s just dance to this before we go! please? pleeeeaase?”
noah can’t help but smile, seeing liv reijners beg him for a dance.
“one dance,” he tells her. “but then we’re leaving. i don’t want you passing out in a closet somewhere.”
liv rolls her eyes but she quickly bolts over to where everyone’s dancing. she jumps around, raising her hands in the air and her body swaying to the beat.
when noah reaches her side, she grabs his arms and places them on her waist.
“don’t you just love this song?” she shouts. “i fucking love this song!”
she gets lost in the music and noah finds himself dancing with her, laughing at her excitement.
“okay the songs over,” he says, dragging her out of the crowd. “let’s go home.”
liv crosses her arms. “fine,” she sighs. “but i want to say bye to the girls first!”
she begins to shout each of their names and when she finally finds them sitting in the living room, she jumps onto isa’s lap.
“i’m leaving,” she tells them. “i wanted to say bye first.”
“shit,” isa laughs. “janna told us you were a bit drunk but i didn’t believe her.”
engel watches her with concern. “you should go home, liv.”
“i am! noah’s taking me home,” she says, finally getting off isa’s lap. “come over to my place tomorrow morning okay? i’m going to make you guys pancakes. or waffles? fuck, i’ll make both!”
“okay, liv,” noah says, handing her her coat. “let’s go.”
liv manages to put on her coat and stumbles out of the house with noah right behind her.
“fuck!”
liv takes her shoes off.
“i knew i shouldn’t have worn these damn boots today.”
noah laughs and grabs her shoes before crouching down.
“get on,” he orders.
liv eyes his back and happily jumps on. noah stands up, tightening his hold on her legs and makes the walk back to his place.
“is the noah boom really piggy backing a girl right now?” she asks, securing her arms around his neck. “how gentleman-y of him.”
her speech is slurred and a few seconds later, he feels her steady breaths against her neck as she begins to fall asleep.
“i wouldn’t do this for any girl, liv,” he says softly. “and besides, you won’t remember a thing tomorrow.”
********
ok yes this is the most ooc thing i’ve ever written and i wouldn’t be mad if liv slapped me after reading this but the thought of liv acting like this makes me lol 😂
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sgnwooseok · 5 years ago
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hello everyone!!! i am so excited that this place is back uwu hello i am jess and i play this bb wooseok here~ i’m super hype to play him and i can’t wait to start plotting with everyone! wooseok’s about page is HERE and i’ll list some more facts/history and some potential open plots under the cut :D 
i have twitter here, but i think i’m mostly going to try to keep plotting to tumblr ims so i don’t get confused haha. please LIKE THIS TO PLOT and i’ll hop into ur ims! or reply to this if u see a plot u want maybeeee? if not we can always brainstorm too!
brief history/run down of wooseok
he is a 96 line and a third year at snu
he’s late bc he did his military service fresh out of high school so he’s a bit older than others in his grade oops (aka if ur 95-97 line and did military service already maybe they met there)
his parents divorced when he was in like 8th grade so it was Peak Devastation and Angsty Times for tween wooseok and he decided he hates his dad
but he ADORES his mom and visits her most weekends
he’s a scholarship student and got in on a full ride on the basis that he keeps his grades up
so he’ll be mostly found studying in various areas
if he’s at a party and he gets bored he’ll probably be on his phone reading his notes lmAO
i called him “haruhi without the host club and cross dressing” so if that helps with the image i have for him HAHAA
uhhh he loves baking but doesn’t cook very often
since he’s in nutrition he always bakes his own snacks and can almost always be found snacking on something homemade that he baked on his own 
he’s also always willing to share because he’s Generous™ like that
potential plots? maybe?
anyone who went to the same high school and knew he was a nerd and before his nice Glow-up
maybe an ex .... a Girlfriend in high school .... before he decided his preferences
tbh i would love to have someone who like ... either tries bullies or tease him for being poor but he honestly doesn’t give a crap (quote haruhi’s “ugh, rich people”)
HE NEEDS FRIENDS someone pls just befriend this boy
exes(?) he has one (1) ex who he’s still lowkey half pining over but he’s definitely dated other people~ even if it was in high school or smth
COUSINS??? he’s an only child but pls be cousins w him (especially cousin’s on his dad’s side bc that would be fun if he liked u but he’s torn bc ur from that side of the family and he’s like :/)
cousins from his moms side would be cool too tho
frenemies? friendly competition? u know he’s a nerd but u wanna try to beat him at his own game?
someone he tutors? wooseok is the type of person who doesn’t rly wanna make longterm friends bc he’s like “never gonna see these people again anyway” so
someone who always tries to benefit from his snacks? (this can be multiple people bc wooseok stress bakes LOL)
someone who is vaguely worried about his caffeine addiction and he claims he has it under control “bc this is what he’s studying” but youve never seen someone drink something with three-four espresso shots in it and not shake after like ... is he ok, is he human
HAHA or he’s broke AF rn nd you see him sUffering because he’s suffering from caffeine withdrawals and you take pity on him and buy him a coffee
u are confused as to why he keeps staring at a certain someone and thinks that he’s shy or smth and offer to be his wingman but no, he doesn’t just think he’s hot, that’s his ex-bf
and bc i’m uncreative these are one-liners i stole from the internet that could work w wooseok as a plot
“there’s a harry potter marathon on.” “why would you tell me that when i’m studying for a midterm?!” (wooseok)
“you need to shower/eat/sleep/take care of yourself.” “after studying.” (wooseok) “no. now.”
you’re waiting in my dorm room for my roommate to come back from class and i end up helping you on your lab work/homework
this is the third time you’ve been locked outside of my dorm bc you left your student card/key inside. this is also the third time i’ve had to let you in
i’ve never gotten drunk before and you decide you’ll make me get drunk with you
you were really drunk and i walked you back to your dorm to make sure u were safe 
i hate sports so why am i at the _____ game? you want to find out
we have the same early 9am class and you fall asleep on me so i wrote notes for you (so you want to either pay him back or get him to always write notes for u or smth)
all of our friends are drunk, why am i even at this party?
i caved and ordered pizza and so did you and we’re both waiting outside of the avenue for our respective delivery guys
we’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking behind the shelf next to us, what the fuck are we supposed to do?
you (a sports player) hit me in the head with your (sports) ball and now we’re headed to the infirmary because i think there’s two of you
wow this got super long so thank u if ur still reading this djkfbksdjbf but yeah anyways hmu to plot pls and ty and if none of these fit ur muse we can always brainstorm ofc!! 
edit: i added some random prompts :D
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sgnshin · 5 years ago
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😟 💖 💤 🤔 🙏 🌑 🥴 🗑️ ⚠️ 🚨 😢
😟 a worried text.
       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): are you okay?       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): are you home safe?       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): sorry i couldn’t drive you home       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): i’ll write a few essays for you to make it up to you       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): or i can take you out for dinner?
💖 a loving text.
       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): hello       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): you’re       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): pretty       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): keep up the good work       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): with being pretty       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): ok cya
💤 a half-asleep text.
      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): are you still awake?      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): thanks for coming over      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): i think would have died      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): can alcohol poisoning kill you? i’ll have to ask kaiser
🤔 a nonsensical text.
      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): are you a part of the ghostbusters team      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): or the scooby doo squad      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): and do you sing a theme song when you bust ghosts?      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): 하하하
🙏 an apologetic text.
      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): im sorry      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): i’m sorry for being myself      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): for ignoring you, for not treating you right, for being an asshole, for being a piece of shit, for being careless, for being me      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): i think at this point      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): my apologies have become meaningless      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): but i hope you still know that im really sorry lily
🌑 a late night text.
      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): i know it’s late      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): but if you really think there are ghosts in your home      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): i can come over      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): i’ll take the couch      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): and i’m pretty sure i’m immune to ghosts ever since i bathed in holy water that one time with kaiser when we broke into a church in germany
🥴 a drunk text.
      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): you know how you said you liked me a lot      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): can we go back to that      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): what do you mean you liked me a lot      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): like…       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): like like or like like like like      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): you get me, what kind of like
🗑️ a text that wasn’t sent.
      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): im a piece of shit. im a real piece of shit. but i know im a piece of shit, so that makes me better than all those other pieces of shit that dont know that theyre pieces of shit right? look at me trying to justify my shitty behaviour, what a piece of shit. what a real, hefty piece of shit. what im trying to say is that, im sorry for being a piece of shit towards you, and that you deserve better even though i think i still… might love… you? even though you said you liked me… this is stupid
⚠️ a scared text.
      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): !!!      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): it just occurred to me that kaiser will become a doctor one day      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): i don’t think i can trust him with my health      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): what if he accidentally kills people instead of healing them?      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): he’ll become the most wanted serial killer that ever came out of snu
🚨 an urgent text.
      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): aito’s not responding to my calls or messages      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): are you with him?      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): if you’re not i’m going to come over      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): we’re starting a search party      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): kaiser’s already out looking
😢 a sad text.
      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): i have an excuse for not responding today      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): my therapist rescheduled       SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): so now i’m stuck with      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): myself      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): i’ll uhh…      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): get back to you when i’m not      SHIN TXT → lily 💕💖(ignore): stuck with myself
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