#ohshitohfuck

[renstears]

Guys try to stop me before I write Howl!MC (Howl’s Moving Castle), Jouno Saigiku!MC (BSD) & Sigma!MC (BSD) in Obey Me and a Dazai!MC in Twisted Wonderland—

Please stop me or else I will actually write these and start to spiral and loose motivation—

[bdkrp]

@trapton sent:

“You have to keep it a secret. I’ll find out if you tell anyone.”

Standing still, Bedeku remained by the entrance to the room, door currently closed as they kept their back against it. Their eyes searched aimlessly around the room, before landing on the older man.

“... I—... I don't want any trouble, sir...” They raised their hands in a surrendering manner, an evidently nervous look on their face.

[sea-buns]

Accidentally found you in the wild 👀

:000

yknow the whole reason I started a blog was cuz I followed those meme accs and got hooked on the need for MORE CONTENT so uh

this is an honor lol

[ohbo-ohno]

havin a giggle picturing if skittish reader had acrylic nails when they were first taken. one of the acrylics breaks off in a struggle and soap and ghost have a brief moment of "ohshitohfuck we weren't planning on threatening to rip your fingernails out this early in the game" before they realize

(soap goes out and buys you those cheap press-on nails for kids with hearts and glitter on them. tells the cashier they're for his niece. she thinks he's so sweet)

~@slashhinginghasher

absolutely NOTHING is funnier than full grown men not knowing how basic Girl Things work. nothing. it's peak humor, no matter how easy and unrealistic it might seem

obsessed with the image of reader swearing a blue streak if she breaks a nail, because if you break it low enough it can hurt like a fucking bitch. and she's not even really mad at them (not directly, at least), she's just grabbing her finger and swearing like a sailor. ghost and soap are both very taken off guard

also johnny is absolutely the type of guy to paint your nails for you. he's really bad at it, but he gets better every time (he makes) you let him <3

[howlingday]

Weiss: Wow... My sister's not very funny, is she? I'm much funnier. Watch me.

Winter: YEAH! FUNNY LOOKING!

Weiss: S-Stop embarrassing me!

---------------------------------------------------

Weiss: (Getting thrashedby Volume 1 Ruby) SISTER! THIS IS A REAL THREAT!

Winter: Perhaps this peasant mains V1 Ruby?

Weiss: Sister! She's not here for funny lolz at all! SHE'S GOING TO MURDER ME!

Winter: (Swaps in)

Weiss: HELP ME, SISTER!

Winter: Come here, little- OHSHITOHFUCK! SHE'S DECIMATING ME!

Weiss: Sister, we really need to pull our a-game here!

[eddswrold-fandicc]

Paultryk Smut

bottom Paul 

TW: degradation (degration? i guess I didn’t know how to spell it right?)

“Ohshitohfuck, P-Pat!” Paul cried out as a lubricated cock slipped it’s tip inside his ass hole. It’s been a long while since he was on the receiving end. What was it: 2? Maybe 3 years since he’s received? 

Yeah, a long while. 

“Shhh, pet. You’re doing so well for me,” His partner praised him softly as he inched more of his cock inside. “Just relax for me.” He tugged at the collar around Paul’s neck, attached to a leash. 

Paul tried his hardest to relax. But trying to relax makes you more tense, right? He felt a wet finger rubbing circles around the tip of his own penis. He shivered as his cock twitched at the wanted actions.

Once he felt Patryck’s cock all the way inside, he finally relaxed, taking time to adjust to the size. Patryck was more on the longer side, with not much girth. He hit deep places with not much of a stretch. 

Paul softly gasped as Patryck’s hand finally wrapped around his swollen cock, slowly jerking it. He bit his lip when Patryck’s long dick brushed against his prostate. 

“Are you ready, Pet?” Patryck tugged at the leash again, earning a needy stare from his partner. He smiled at the face as his pulled his cock out and slowly back in. 

Paul quietly moaned, feeling Patryck’s cock slowly fuck him. Slow sensations from both sensitive areas was driving him up the wall. “Pat...” He whispered. 

“Do you like this? Or do you want it like this?” Paul waited a moment, wanting to know what his partner meant? It took him off guard as Patryck slammed his cock into Paul, slowly pulling back, just like before, and harshly slamming into him again. Paul gripped the sheets as he felt Patryck grip his waist, no longer giving his own dick attention anymore. He began to moan as his ass was getting slowly pounded into. 

“So you do like it like this? Wow, what a slut you are.” Patryck tugged on the leash, pulling Paul’s head back and hearing him moan. “You like that too? Such a dirty boy you are, Paul,” Patryck teased. He felt his partner clench around him. 

“Do you want me to go faster?” 

Paul stayed silent, not really wanting to respond to that question. His face flushed every time his collar was pulled. 

“Oh? So you want it slow and hard?” Patryck waited a moment before thrusting in again, feeling himself getting close. “You want to be fucked like this, Slut? Answer me.” He delivered Paul’s ass a rough slap, causing him to jump. Patryck was sure there would be a handprint still there tomorrow. 

“Y...Yes, master,” Paul felt all of his pride leave at that point. He has never begged to be fucked like this before. 

Patryck’s cock thrusted deep into him again. Paul choked on his own moans, feeling his prostate get roughly hit. He came right then and there, blushing at his shame. He jumped when another hit came down to his other cheek, “What a bad pet! You knew you weren’t allowed to cum yet.” 

“S-Sorry,” Paul blinked back a tear. Man, Patryck really knows how to give a good spanking. 

“You know what that means, you slut?” Patryck harshly tugged the leash, enough to get Paul’s head back to grip his hair. He pulled the thick locks back, forcing Paul to make eye contact. He watched as a tear ran down his face. 

“That’s right. We haven’t done this in a while. I feel like you forget just who I am, Pet. I’m gonna blister your ass now.” Patryck pulled his cock out as he gave Paul hard slaps on each cheek, taking turns. 

“Keep count or we start over.” 

“Yes, sir,” Paul choked, feeling the pain ripple through his ass. He listened as his partner degraded him, “You fucking whore. You’re a disobedient pet, slut. I’d ought to teach you a behavior lesson.” 

After delivering 10 slaps to each cheek, Patryck grabbed Paul’s hair again. He bent over him, growling as he spoke, “Are you going to be good for me, Paul?” 

Paul nodded, streams of tears running down his face as his bottom stung. His hole stretched again as his partner shoved his cock inside, quickly and roughly pounding him. He planted his face in the bed, his crying turning into loud moans as his sensitive spot was being abused. His penis stood up again, bouncing in sync with Patryck’s thrusts. 

“Are you going to disobey again, Pet?” Patryck was coming to an end. 

“No, sir,” Paul moaned into the sheets. 

“Good.” Patryck gripped Paul’s waist, giving him a few more hard thrusts before burying himself all the way in Paul’s hole and cumming. He grunted as his cock twitched as it let out its load. He listened to Paul’s sounds of pleasure, keeping his cock inside as he gripped Paul’s cock. 

“P-Please! Please, be gentle,” Paul begged. But Patryck ignored his pleas, quickly stroking Paul’s cock. He knew it would be more sensitive now. He listened to Paul’s moans become hoarse, feeling that familiar warmth to his hand. He pulled out, letting his own cum dribble out of Paul’s hole and down his thighs. 

“Come on,” Patryck got up, grabbing a couple towels and clean clothes for the both of them, “Let’s shower. Don’t fall asleep yet.” 

Paul drunkenly wobbled off the bed, following Patryck to the bathroom. He let Patryck sit him down in the shower, letting him wash his thick brown hair. He let Patryck stand him back up, washing his body, planting soft kisses around him. He let Patryck help to dry him off and put his clothes on, regaining his strength. He let Patryck lay him in a clean bed, tucking them both in and pulling him close. 

“You did good, Pet. Are you okay?”

Paul nodded, letting sleep take over. It’s been a long while since they’ve done that. But, hell. Maybe it was needed. 

[moraygrotto]

Heya! Would you be up for writing a fic about Idia chugging too much soda when playing his games which makes him super burpy until his stomach feels a little too heavy and gassy for him to play?

yushhh; filling this with idiа x reader !

~

"MmmmMMM! Fuck yeah!" Idia dropped his controller into his lap, then flopped down onto the sofa, kicking his legs up into the air.

As you walked into the room, you were greeted by his upside-down face, which blushed at once upon catching sight of you. On his gaming TV, his character stood idly next to an opened treasure chest.

"Oh!" Idia cheeped, looking sheepishly up at you. "Heya. Your work done?"

You nodded. "Yeah. How's your game going?"

"GREAT!" he burst out, picking up the controller and sitting up cross-legged. "I just beat this dungeon, the same one I mentioned earlier how people online are FUMING over the difficulty. Heheh, sniveling fuckin' noobs..." He caught himself mid-snicker, then looked up at you. "I can switch to co-op mode once I get back to home base, if you wanna—"

"No, no," you replied. "That's alright; you seem like you're in a good groove. Besides, I don't know if I'd have the energy—" On the table next to the couch, you spotted a six-pack of cola with two cans missing. "May I?" you said, gesturing to it.

"Oh, yeah," said Idia, "go right ahead." He licked his lips. "Actually, can you sauce me one too? This victory deserves a toast!"

Detaching two of the cans, you caught yourself before telling him you'd be pleased to share it with him. Even the smallest flirting could send Idia spiraling into a deeply flustered mood, and you didn't want to punctuate his current glee with anything else.

Sinking down next to him, you passed him one of the two cans of cola, which he cracked open and drank from at once. After a moment, you realized he was going for the whole can, pale throat bobbing with gulp after gulp. Finally, he shook a few last drops out onto his tongue, before setting the empty can down next to the sofa.

There were two others next to it, alongside a half-full bag of hot chips. You weren't sure why you had noticed neither these, nor how Idia's belly was pudged slightly out beneath his skinny long-sleeved T-shirt.

"Alright," he cheered, "let's goooo!" He turned to glance at you. "You good just watching?"

"Uh-huh," you said. "Mind if I get a little closer, or will that impede your gaming?"

"Huh? No, I don't think so."

With this permission, you sidled up next to him, leaning your head on his shoulder and snaking one arm around his side.

"Ohmigosh," he began muttering in his talking-to-himself voice. "Totally getting cuddled while gaming right now. Like, every gamer's dream. Okay, this is fine; it'll make me better, not worse."

Under your fingers, as Idia clicked a button to resume his game, you could feel his belly rumbling.

Seeming to slip quickly back into the headspace, Idia muttered to himself about the game he was playing, making note of various features and cursing at enemies.

"Alright, I doooon't think this puzzle is gonna be too hard; nope; it's definitely in the last room with the... yeah... Uh-huh— gURRP!"

His bony shoulder hitched slightly beneath your head as a loud belch popped out from between his open lips. You stiffened a bit, expecting him to be embarrassed.

"Oh, alright, guard the key," he continued to mutter, as if nothing had happened at all. "I'll just beat your ass into the ionosphere, no big deal; heheh, yeahhhuRP!" His stomach sloshed at this, and he quickly reached down into the bag of chips beneath him to stuff a few into his mouth.

Only now that you detached yourself from him and let your hand trail across his bony spine, did he seem to remember you were there. "Ohshitohfuck," he said between crunches. "I'm making a slob out of myself while you're watching me—"

"I don't mind!" you interjected at once. "I like seeing you this relaxed."

He gulped, blushing softly. "You're right, huh," he said. "I don't let myself chill out like this around very many people. Thanks for putting up with me, I guess."

"No problem whatsoever," you said, stroking up and down his back. Hearing the contents of his stomach churn loudly, you offered a firm pat.

Idia's eyes bulged outward as a strangled "Hngrk!" sounded from his throat, before a monstrous, guttural burp poured upward into his closed mouth. His cheeks ballooned up near the end, and he blew it out the corner of his pale blue lips. "Oof," he said, sharply averting his eyes, "uh—"

"Dude," you interrupted, before he could go on. "That was great. I didn't even know burps like that could come out of you."

Idia let out a tense sigh. "No way," he whispered, "Noway noway. I can't believe they like my burps. I've never gotten any compliments over voice chat before."

"Well, that one sounded incredible," you said, even though you knew he didn't like people responding to his self-talk. "Here," you said, reaching over to the depleted six-pack. "Got room for more?"

"Fuck yeah, I do!" he chimed. "You know I have a second stomach for gamer fuel."

Smiling, you passed him another can, and he opened it to take a sip before setting it down in his lap. As he continued his game, his words were interspersed with belches once more, but it seemed this time as if he were really talking to you when he explained his various maneuvers and strategies. Now and then, he paused to suck down more soda, occasionally following a loud gulp up with a satisfied burp.

"Hey," he said after shaking out the last dregs of the can, "could you pass me another?"

"Sure," you said, removing the final cola. "How does your tummy feel?"

"Rrph— Fine. I just wanna keep going."

Obediently, you passed it to him, and watched him mechanically set his empty drink down on the floor and replace it with the next one in his lap.

He drank with a focused ferocity, taking large swigs in brief pauses from his game. About halfway through it, he glanced at you, and blinked. "Hey," he said, "you haven't touched the can of soda you took."

It was then you realized that all of your attention had been on him, and you had forgot to even open it. "You're right," you said, and cracked open the tab. "Don't mind if I do," you quipped over the sound of fizz. "Get back to your game, now. You're in the middle of a quest; don't let me distract you."

As Idia resumed playing, you tried a sip of the cola. It was a foreign brand that he had ordered online, and the taste was just to the left of familiar on your tongue. It was strange to think that four and a half cans of it now bubbled inside of Idia.

"Rrgh—" he grunted a few minutes later. He had encountered a boss, but he wasn't spouting his usual babble throughout the fight.

"Hey," you interjected, "Idia, what's the matter?"

"Matter? No, I'm—" His character got hit on the head, and he frowned. "Nothing's the matter; I'm fine."

"Hey," you repeated, "if you're not comfortable, just pause the game."

"No, I'm fine; I can't— hic—"

The boss enemy dove forward, and Idia tried to sidestep its movement; all of a sudden, a brief gurgle coiled up from his stomach, and the loudest burp you had ever heard from Idia burst forth. Simply put, it was gorgeous. His belly muscles rippled; his bony chest lurched forward; his hands seized at the controller. It seemed entirely out of his control, too, like his body was nothing but a vessel for the soda bubbles now bursting cleanly free up his gullet. The sound of it almost dazed you.

Idia, on the other hand, looked sour. "FUUUCK!" he squealed, and only then did you notice the quiet game-over music coming from the TV.

He slammed his controller down and flung himself backward atop the sofa. "Stupidass overpowered garbage-tier game design boss fight—"

"Hey, hey—" you tried to say. "Idia, calm down—"

"You can't console me," he said, muffled as he slapped both palms over his face. "If any enemy is so powerful that you can't even burp while fighting them, then it's just logic that they shouldn't be in the game."

"Idia, my love," you said, "the game autosaved beforehand, remember? You can just restart the battle, with no interruptions this time."

Pouting fiercely, Idia reached down to the half-finished can of soda still in his lap, and chugged the remainder all at once. Crushing it in one skeletal hand, he wiped the back of his mouth with the other, and his scowling lips parted to let up a gurgling belch.

"There you go," you said, unsure how to diffuse his mood. "All fueled up, right?"

"Sure, whatever," he grumbled, and turned to the screen again.

"Here," you said, "before you start up again—" You slid a hand beneath one of his own. "Take a few deep breaths with me."

If it were anyone else, Idia would most likely roll his eyes and mutter a snide refusal, so your heart was warmed to actually see him close his eyes, and draw in a breath in time with you.

His shoulders rose, and just as he was about to exhale—

"Grgglurphhhhhhh..."

"Baby," you said, "you can't even breathe without burping; that's so cute!"

Idia's eyes snapped open. "What?"

"You really crammed yourself full of soda, huh?"

Idia snorted, a blush rising to his cheeks again. "I can't help myself; it's so good."

"I'm not blaming you," you replied. "Can I touch your stomach?"

His gaze dropped to the floor. "Whatever. Go ahead."

Once more, Idia closed his eyes, and let his hands fall to his sides, exposing his body in a way he rarely seemed to do.

Through the thin fabric of his shirt, Idia's soft tummy shifted under your hand like liquid. A gentle prod to the sensitive cleft beneath his ribcage elicited a gurgle, and another gurgle, and more in succession like a meteor shower of sound.

A few gentle belches passed up and hissed through his lips, and after a moment, Idia truly seemed to relax.

"Good boy," you couldn't help but to coo. "Does this feel any better?"

"M-hm," he whimpered. "You really think I'm cute like this?"

"Yes, adorable."

He blinked his eyes shyly open. "Almost makes me wish that weren't the last can, heheh..."

You held up the soda you had been drinking, which was still mostly full. "I mean, there is more."

"That one's yours, though."

The thought of one more drink poured into Idia was far more appealing right now than having the rest to yourself. Suddenly, a devious thought entered your mind. "You can have it," you said, "if you let me hold the can while you drink."

Idia went stiff as a board. "Ohmigod, really?"

"Yeah?"

"For real? You're actually willing to feed me soda?"

You chuckled. "I'm asking."

His blush had spread to every visible inch of skin; he looked on fire, even moreso than usual. "Yeah, um, okay," he squeaked. "You can do that. Just, um?" He took a trembling breath. "Could you, like, praise me while you're doing it? Also, go slowly. I don't wanna choke."

"Yeah, of course!" You reached around to hold him once more, and lifted the can.

"Oh!" tittered Idia. "Right now; okay."

Carefully, you aligned the mouth of the can with his tilted head, pressing it to his lips like a kiss. "Ready, baby?"

He gave an "Mmn" in reply, and you carefully tipped the fluid into him. A drop of it missed, bubbled, overflowed down the corner of his mouth, but you pet his back warningly, trying to urge him to stay still. "It's okay," you said, "we'll clean it up afterwards. Just be good for me, and drink."

His small, constant gulps were interrupted by a voiced sound which must have been some kind of affirmative. You kept stroking his back, over and over the ridge of his spine, careful to keep your hand steady, for if you gave him the slightest pat, you were sure he would burp, and messily interrupt his constant sipping.

"There you go," you soothed. "You're doing a good job."

At this, Idia actually slurped harder at the flow, making audible gulping sounds as he forced it down his throat, and the trickle of overflow thickened by a few drops down his chin.

"Be careful," you chuckled, then let your voice fall back to a flirting tone. "Don't hurt yourself, baby. You're too cute for that; just sip slowly now."

"Mm," Idia grunted.

The angle of the can was quickly nearing ninety degrees, and Idia was drinking obediently, the sound of fizz a soft background to his wet slurps and gulps.

After a while, he gave a noise like a moan.

"Are you okay, baby boy?" you asked. "Tap my thigh twice if no, okay? Otherwise, I want you to chug this whole thing for me."

You took one of his hands, and placed it on your thigh, but Idia continued gulping down, hair cascading down his back and Adam's apple jutting outward as his head tipped back to swallow the last of the cola.

When the can was upside down, you tapped out the dregs with a finger. Weakly, face flushed and belly snarling audibly, Idia licked upward at the drops.

"That's my good boy," you praised, and placed the can down next to its emptied brethren, the latest trophy showcasing just how much Idia's tank could hold.

Jaw trembling, Idia moaned pathetically.

"Don't say a word," you said. "Just let it settle." Carefully, you reached out to caress his belly. It was tight under your fingertips' touch, made noises like a discontented animal while giving the tactile and visual impression of a balloon ready to burst.

Idia was breathing slowly through his mouth.

"That's it," you said, "just relax your throat, stomach muscles, everything. You drank that so well; I'm so proud of you."

You didn't realize, at first, the sound Idia was making, through the incessant clamor of his stomach around its fizzing contents, and the soft music still playing from the TV. Through his open lips, you realized, was rumbling a soft "grrrrrrrphhhhhhhhhfff..."

You leaned in close, rubbing your thumb over the sensitive parts of his belly while you cradled the soft parts in your palm, and at your touch the sound grew louder, deepening into a rolling "urggggggh—"; at the slightest bit more pressure applied, into a hearty "GRURRRRRRP..."

His brow was furrowed; you couldn't tell if he was blissed out by the cola's sweetness, a helpless victim to his own digestive system, or both.

At last, the belch trailed off on a bubbly gurgle, and then a low afterburp passed up through him as he sat completely still.

There was a beat of blank, inert silence, then Idia wheezed a deep breath, doubling over. "Fuck," he said, "Ohhh my god. Holy shit."

"You okay?" you said.

"Yeah! Yeah, urph, I'm great. Holy moly, man; that was... Ahhh..."

You cautiously scooched an inch closer to him. "Was that good enough praise?" you said. "Was it what you were hoping for?"

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Idia said, gripping his thighs. "That was INSANE. Uhh, you were perfect, that is."

"Good," you said, and passed him a half-crumpled napkin from the bedside table. "Wanna clean your face off?"

Idia took it from you without looking. "Yeah," he said, and dabbed at his chin. "Oh my god, yeah."

You laughed, and pat his back. "Are you ready to try that boss fight one more time?"

Idia froze, then continued wiping his face. "No," he said. "I will tomorrow. I'm totally outta my groove now. Plus, I'm way too full for that. I think it is officially Idia chill time."

As Idia sat up, you hugged him close, and pecked a kiss atop his sticky cheek. "In that case," you said, "do you want more belly rubs?"

You felt goosebumps form under Idia's sleeve, and he leaned into you. "Urp— Y-yeah," he stuttered. "I'd say yes to that."

[munamania]

saw the roommate in person for the first time in months today and immediately had to sit down cause of how lightheaded (with horniness) i got. jk but only kind of i did take a second to go ohshitohfuck at a distant table before walking past them and their dyke best friend. was gonna say hi but it was awkward timing and i didn’t wave till later when i thought they were looking at me and thats unconfirmed bc i didn’t see them wave back but also again i was flustered and trying to be #cool and babbling at lydia and messing with my stuff and looking around. and then um they disappeared (at first just away. so maybe i look like a stalker fr or maybe they’re also being an awkward little freak) then to the park. and we’ve liked each others stories. and that’s that <3

[carmsgarms]

Ohshitohfuck I stayed up too late because I followed a fanfic link, tried to find the author on tumblr again to follow them, and then got distracted by like 6 other things

I have work tomorrow 💀

[medics-secret-shipfic-folder]

*gets to the part where cheavy finds the blight resonance ark, knowing damn well what's going to happen*

OHSHITOHFUCK, NO NOT TOUCH THE FUNNY ARK, GOOD SIR!

*cheavy touches the ark*

goddamnit, you touched the funny ark, good sir...

HE TOUCHED THE ROCK

Funnily enough, if you pay attention to the narration during that scene? It's clear that Cheavy had no intentions of taking the Ark. He was just trying to put it back in its place so he wouldn't get an earful for disturbing Medic's clothes.

The fact that the Ark's influence is described as making Cheavy 'feel tipsy' and making his thoughts feel 'cloudy' should clue readers in to the fact that the Blight Ark has some minor mind control properties.

After all, it IS Blight energy in its most concentrated form.

[t1gerlilly]

Eddie would still be cheating though, and Buck already has cheated in the past. Don’t need them both being canonical cheaters. We can have an almost kiss. A ohshitohfuck I really want this almost kiss. But that’s it.

Depends on if he’s broken up with her at that point or not.

[springspark]

Я отмечаю 13-й год своего блога Tumblr! 🥳

Oh shit oh fuck ohshitohfuck

[creamwhisp]

THAT FUCKING PROMO

OHSHITOHFUCK

I WONDER IF MY MOM HEARD ME FROM UPSTAIRS—

ok I don't see anyone asking this, probably because it is really unimportant compared to everything else shown in this promo, but why is he on a boat? On the road to self-discovery? Taking a break living with everyone?

[i-am-arcana-trash]

SPRITES. HAIR OUT OF FACE. ALSO WHAT IS THEY CRYING SPRITE?! ALSO I GOT TO SMOOCH THE BLUSHY FACE AHHHH GOD SO HELP ME FUCKSNXJCKDKDJFJFJC

[the-breloominati]

its late at night so of course its time for some laying awake in bed thoughts

one of the things I absolutely despise doing is when theres like a discussion or smth and at the end the teacher's like "alright now write a summary of what you discussed" or smth like that and I swear to god

every

single

time

as soon as they say that my brain just incinerates the past however long and im just sitting there trying not to get too stressed out cause I know I have to write something to get a grade but what the fuck do i do

words?

never heard of 'em

not even once

[brotato-chibs]

Me:

My brain: AU AU AU AU AU

My drawing hand: AUAUAUAU--