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luchicm04 · 11 days

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Sinking in the Metkayina - chapter 2

Masterlist

Summary: Tonowari is obsessed. The atmosphere is completely opposite to the first chapter. For those who want to preserve the impressions from Chapter 1, I recommend not reading.

Pairing: Tonowari/Omatikaya!Fem Reader

Tag: #sinking in the metkayina fic

posted on ao3

Word count: +6k

All characters belong to Avatar, and all rights are reserved to the original work whose author allowed me to translate it.

Overall warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, obsessive behavior⚠️

“Hey!!! Excuse me, are you part of the Omatikaya?”

“No. I’m from the Tawkami clan.”

“Well, can you stop by the Omatikaya then?”

“It is on the way, but…”

“Thank goodness...! Please, tell the Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya that (Y/n) is alive and is now living with the Metkayina!”

Because she was happily living with Tonowari, she hadn’t thought about Jake or the humans who probably considered her dead… When she first got to the island, the human knew she would be rejected if she asked to pass on the news, and after that, she was busy collecting research samples in the ocean that she loved, so she forgot about it…

‘How could I forget just like that?’

Back at the base, she’ll have access to the conveniences and familiarity of civilization and research equipment.

After living for so long in tribal society using only the things permitted, she was so happy thinking about going back… She could examine the things she had collected there under a microscope and run them through all sorts of testing machines!!

Of course, there was the issue of the relationship with Tonowari, but she thought that she could just give him communication devices and talk to him every day. She thought that she would stay at the base for a while, and then move the necessary things and go back and forth between the Omatikaya and Metkayina.

(Y/n) believed that Tonowari would understand all of that.

Because he was an understanding man.

──

The human helicopter arrived earlier than expected; the Tawkami Na’vi must have quickly delivered the message.

(Y/n) barely managed to stop the tribesmen from attacking it, agitated by the landing of an unfamiliar mechanism, and shouted in joy at the man who had gotten off of it.

“Ralph!”

“(Y/n)! You’re alive!”

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily. It’s been so long...”

As soon as Ralph stepped on the sand, he ran to hug his colleague who he thought had passed away and cried tears of happiness. (Y/n), who was hugging him back, also shed tears. After being shipwrecked and lost for months, only then did she realize she had made it. She had survived.

“Have you been here this whole time?”

“Yeah, I forgot to try and contact you… Sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m just grateful that you did now. Come on, let’s go back.”

The girl felt as if she had been slapped back to reality. “Huh?”

“Everyone’s waiting. Is your drinking capacity still intact?”

“Of course! ...Um, but…”

She hadn’t finished organizing everything yet. She hadn’t even said goodbye yet… But before she could utter a single word, a hand roughly pulled (Y/n), who had stayed still hesitantly, away from Ralph.

Tonowari spoke with a severe face, holding (Y/n)’s arm so tightly she almost fell on her knees. “What do you mean go back?” he questioned, having managed to overhear their conversation and remembering the few English words he had learned through the girl.

“Oh, right… I see you. My name is Ralph. I’m (Y/n)’s workmate.”

“I asked what did you mean with ‘go back’.”

“We are currently on war against our enemies alongside the Omatikaya. Didn’t (Y/n) say that she came from there?” Ralph explained, a bit cautiously.

“It doesn’t matter. The Metkayina is with whom (Y/n) is staying right now, and she won’t be going back.”

(Y/n) looked up at him in surprise. “Tonowari, what are you talking about…! Ralph, I’m sorry, I haven’t talked to the Na’vis here yet...”

“If we talk about this, will anything change?” The man continued to gaze intently at her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in advance, but… all my foundations are in the forest; I have to go back.”

“Are you leaving me?”

Ralph, sensing something was wrong judging by Tonowari’s frighteningly hardened expression, looked at (Y/n) with a face that demanded an explanation.

“I think you’re too worked up, let’s go inside and talk. Ralph, I’m sorry, but I can’t go back today. Can you return in three days?”

“Don’t come. She won’t leave.”

“Tonowari…! I’ll explain properly, Ralph, just go!”

“(Y/n), are you alright?”

“Yes, just go now!”

The human male got back on the helicopter, seeing that something was seriously wrong with his friend but couldn’t do anything about it. All he could do was shout, “I’ll be back in three days!”

When (Y/n) saw the helicopter take off, she looked around. Even though they didn’t know the details of the what was discussed, the observing people could tell that the human girl had been about to leave, and the young Na’vis were looking at her with hurt eyes.

“Guys, I didn’t mean to leave just like th- Ow! Tonowari…!”

While normally his heart would tremble even when (Y/n) pretended to be sick, the chief gripper her arm, almost dragging her and headed towards their shared marui.

“You need to explain yourself.”

“It hurts…!”

As soon as they arrived, Tonowari threw her arm away and spoke.

“Now tell me, what did you plan on doing?”

“This is a misunderstanding, Tonowari… It wasn’t my intention to leave you all like that.”

“How can I believe you?” he asked more softly with a deep voice.

“I was just planning to go back and rest for a bit, then come back and spend some time going back and forth between the two locations.”

“Without saying a word to anyone?”

“Tonowari, listen. I was going to go and come back, really.”

“I already asked, how can I believe you?”

“...Believe it or not, I’m going. Ralph is coming back in three days.”

Tonowari’s face, devoid of a single smile, was eerily frozen. “You’re going with that man? Leaving me behind?”

(Y/n) was starting to get a little scared. However, she thought it was a process that they had to go through anyway, so she continued to speak firmly.

“Ralph is just a co-worker. He’s just like any of my collagues.”

“...Ha. There are other men too?”

“What the hell does that have to do with…?”

“Alright, that’s the end of the story. You will stay here, and tell your ‘colleagues’ the same thing.”

“Tonowari!”

“Do not test my patience any longer.”

‘Well, what if I try it, huh?’

At this point, (Y/n) was pissed. She had explained it several times; why didn’t he listen? Didn’t she say she’d be coming back?? The girl sat down and started packing her things as if she was protesting.

“(Y/n),” he uttered her name in a chilling tone.

“I don’t want to talk right now.”

“(Y/n), I warned you.”

“Well then, what are you going to do?” she asked challengingly without turning back or stopping what she was doing.

Tonowari, who had been quietly looking down at (Y/n) with his mouth shut, roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her up… and threw her over his shoulder.

In an instant, her eye level rose to nearly 3 meters, and Tonowari headed towards the sea without even caring whether his hold was being harsh or not.

“Where are you going? Let go of me! Tonowari!”

As soon as he jumped into the sea with his head held high, (Y/n) froze when she saw his Skimwing approaching him as if it had been waiting for him. They were usually dangerous and she wasn’t even allowed to go near one, so it made no sense to put her in such a dangerous position. Regardless, Tonowari, who had gotten used to her trashing and made Tsaheylu with it, crossed through the water and headed somewhere unknown to her.

The place he took (Y/n), who was frightened and with no further intention of rebelling further, was… a small rocky island with rough waves crashing against it.

Tonowari reached the coastal cave there and laid (Y/n) down, exhausted from hear.

“This place has strong currents and brutal waves. You can’t possibly get close unless you have a Tsurak. Of course, you can’t get out of it either.”

“Are you out of your mind?!”

“There is a freshwater lake, so you will have a place to drink and wash. I will bring you food.”

“Tonowari! Are you hearing yourself right now?”

“I shall come twice a day.”

(Y/n), who was grasping for breath on the cave floor, suddenly got up and tried to fight against Tonowari, but she was easily subdued… The girl felt so wronged that she almost cried. She tried to escape from Tonowari’s hands and yelled almost in tears.

“W-why? Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because you are my mate.”

Tonowari’s eyes possessed an unreadable light as he said those words, and (Y/n) felt at a loss for words.

“I’ll be back in the evening, so cool your head and rest.”

The man let go of her arm and walked back to the beach, then rode off on his Skimwing without looking back.

Only a dazed (Y/n) remained on the rocky island.

──

(Y/n), who was crouching blankly in the cave, didn’t even know how much time had passed. All she could perceive was the wind blowing, the waves crashing, and the sky getting dark.

When Tonowari arrived, it was evening, as anticipated, with the sun setting.

He put down some fruits and other foods that (Y/n) liked and usually ate, and spoke, “I brought you something to eat.”

“I won’t.”

“You must in order to survive.”

“Then let me go.”

“That is not possible.”

(Y/n) chuckled.

“You won’t let me go back, you dragged me here and you confined me. What’s next?”

“Please, at least eat something.”

“And if I don’t? Will you force me?”

“No. I would never use violence on you.”

“You know, that’s really funny… I’m not eating, so take the food back. Or throw it away.”

After saying those words, Tonowari stared at (Y/n) with his mouth shot for a long time. He picked up a fruit, took a bite, and came closer. (Y/n) noticed what he was trying to do and struck his cheek with all her might, but his neck didn’t even turn… It looked like he was going to kiss her.

Blood was flowing from Tonowari’s mouth after their lips were glued together for a few seconds and then pulled away… The girl had bit his lip.

His finger touched his bruised lip and he looked at it with slight anger. “Nothing good will come from this.”

“If you know it won’t get any better, why are you doing this?”

“You don’t understand.”

“If it was going to be like this, why did you treat me so well?”

“(Y/n)-”

“Why did you make the people think you are a good mate, a good Na’vi?!”

Tears fell from (Y/n)’s eyes. Betrayal, sadness and resentment was all she could feel, but also a little bit of a desire to still believe… a faint hope that if she told him, he would listen.

“It’s not too late. Let me go.”

“...I love you.”

“Take me back, please...”

“I love you.”

“Please, don’t let me hate you…”

Tonowari just hugged her without even wiping the blood flowing from his mouth. (Y/n) was crying in hopelessness in his arms and beating his chest, asking how this could be called love… The hand that stroke (Y/n)’s back was as affectionate as ever, and that made (Y/n) fall into despair even more.

──

Tonowari came to see (Y/n) twice a day, as promised. Each time, the human didn’t open her mouth nor looked at him, but he paid no attention to it and continued to talk about the day’s events as if nothing had happened.

“Today I helped the children ride an Ilu for the first time. It made me happy… reminded me of my memories with you. I hope we get to do that soon.”

“The whole village is busy because it’s clam digging season.”

“The Tulkuns have created a new song and it’s so beautiful. I wish to listen to it together later...”

Every time the word ‘together’ came out, (Y/n) would snicker in amazement. It had been only a few days that they did everything together, but now it was a word that felt so distant.

On the sixth day that Tonowari came, the girl had a gut feeling that he had met Ralph again when she saw his mouth clenched even tighter than usual.

“That man came. I told him to go back because you wouldn’t be leaving.”

“...Are you satisfied now?”

“He said he’d be back again to keep looking for you. I can’t be at peace until then.”

“When will it be enough for you?”

“Until you become my mate completely.”

“Then, you’re screwed; you’ll never be satisfied in your life.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I used to be your mate, you know? You were the one who doubted me and ruined things.”

“That happened when you tried to leave without saying a word.”

“...Okay, talking any further will get us nowhere.”

Tonowari looked at (Y/n)’s back, who had turned around as if there was no point in arguing any longer, with eyes full of all kinds of emotions.

(Y/n) felt those gazes but ignored them and bit her lips tightly… She had no idea where it went wrong and whether they could turn this relationship around.

‘I wonder if I’ll ever get out of here…’

──

The girl didn’t bother to keep track of the number of days that passed from then on. She didn’t even count the amount of times Tonowari would visit her without fail, because she feared she’d go crazy if she realized she had been locked away alone that much time.

As always, the Na’vi got up, whispering his unanswered love and spoke caressing her face, which had become pale due to not eating properly (although much of what she ate, she had thrown up). “I’ll be leaving now for today. I shall be back tomorrow morning, so make sure you eat something before then.”

“...”

“I love you.”

(Y/n), as always, sat still without seeing him off. Soon, she heard the Skimwing’s wings flapping, meaning she had been left alone again.

‘How long has it been…’

As she stood blankly for a long time, (Y/n) realized that the sound could be heard once more, although faintly.

‘He said he’d come in the morning… Why is he back again?’

The human was not happy either way, so she sat there with her back to the sea.

“(Y/n), (Y/n)! Are you there?!”

Until she heard a woman’s voice.

“...Maunan?”

It was the Tsahìk of the Maetkayina.

As soon as she heard that voice, (Y/n) jumped up and ran out.

‘Please, please…’

It was Maunan, who jumped down after her Skimwing landed. When she saw the taller woman’s face, (Y/n) burst into tears and cried loudly.

“Maunan!!!”

“Eywa… Have you been here the whole time?”

“Yes, here… c-continuously… ugh...”

“The people were very worried.”

Maunan, seeing her haggard complexion, wiped her tears and did her best to comfort her.

“How did it come to this…?”

“Y-you came to save me? Can I leave now?”

The Na’vi looked at her pitifully, imagining how strong her desire was to be back at her home in the jungle. “No, not yet. There’s a limit to how far you can go with a Skimwing. There is an Ikran rider who is leaving for the forest soon. I’ll tell him to spread the news about what happened, so hold on here for three days.”

“Three days...”

“I believe three days will be enough for the Sky People to hear about it and come back. Is that alright with you?”

“Yes, I can handle it… Thank you… Thank you…”

“No need for that. It’s my fault for not stopping the situation in time.”

After soothing (Y/n), who was sobbing in relief that she would finally escape, Maunan said that she would be going and advised her not let herself be caught by Tonowari. Only after seeing the human nodding with a tearful face did she take off on her mount.

(Y/n) was left alone on the rocky island again, but she was no longer distressed.

‘Three days… I must hold out until then.’

(Y/n) started putting into her mouth the food that Tonowari had left behind, which she had never even looked at unless she was really close to dying… Up until then, she had not experienced any flavor when she ate, but for the first time in weeks since she had been trapped there, she could taste the sweetness of the fruit. After gulping down the water, she felt much more energetic.

The next morning, Tonowari, who brought food as usual, saw for the first time that (Y/n) had emptied the food.

“Will you be eating now?”

“...Yes...”

“Good. I was worried about you…” Tonowari said caressing her cheek, whose complexion had improved. And, again, for the first time, (Y/n) did not slap his hand away.

How long had it been since (Y/n) accepted Tonowari’s touch instead of rejecting it…? The man felt as if the two of them had gone back to how it used to be in the past, even if it was only for a moment. At that time, everything was happiness. (Y/n) loved him as if she would stay by his side forever, and with that alone, Tonowari felt like he had the whole world.

And now… although it had gotten better, he could still see her gaunt face and listless appearance. Tonowari suddenly felt a surge of emotion… How had it ended up like this? ...He had been happier than anyone else, but the feeling of having ruined it with his own hands struck his hands.

“...I’ll be going now.”

In the end, Tonowari couldn’t stay long that day and ran away from the rocky island… (Y/n) still didn’t see him off, but she watched his back as he rode off on his Skimwing for a long time.

──

Two days left

The next day, (Y/n) ate all the food Tonowari had brought, and some color returned to her pale face. After finishing all the clams that she especially liked, he was once again caught up in that inexplicable feeling as he watched (Y/n) resting as if she was full.

The girl blushed and said, “If you grill the clams next time, let’s eat them together.”

He vividly remembered (Y/n)’s first day of class, when he had felt sorry for her and had tried so hard to help her out due to her not even being able to open the clams.

Now that he thought about it, Tonowari may have started paying special attention to (Y/n) since that moment. Did he know back then that this would happen? If he had known… would he still have opened that clam?

Tonowari was overcome with all sorts of emotions as he looked at (Y/n)’s body, which had always been small, but now it somehow seemed even smaller… He remembered the memory of him hugging her small frame, kissing her and smiling. He also remembered the face that pretended not to have anything going on with him and kissed him briefly when no one was looking, and the voice that whispered that she loved him.

He felt like he had ruined it all.

Looking at (Y/n)’s expressionless face, Tonowari asked impulsively, “Can I hug you just this once?”

The human turned her head at those words and stared at him for a while without saying anything before answering quietly.

“...Alright.”

As always, Tonowari lowered his body, met her gaze, and hugged her affectionately. (Y/n) did not avoid him.

──

One day left

Tonowari, who had left the rocky island as if he was running away that day, recalled the fond feelings and memories that had welled up the moment he hugged (Y/n). Those whirlwind emotions didn’t go away even after lying down on the floor of his marui, so he couldn’t fall asleep and kept tossing and turning. The nights he had spent with (Y/n) were not like that at all.

Her body would lie down and fit perfectly into his arms, whispering “Good night, Tonowari.” and she’d finally close her eyes. When he opened his eyes in the morning, (Y/n)’s round eyes and the mischievous voice that teased him for being sleepy would be the first thing he’d see.

It was Tonowari who ruined it all.

Not (Y/n).

Tonowari got up and washed his face dry, going over his mother’s words on his head.

“Tomorrow, bring (Y/n) back and… apologize.”

He couldn’t help it.

Because Tonowari loved (Y/n) too much to give up her affectionate whispers and touches.

──

The third day came and (Y/n) opened her eyes. Even though it was just dawn, the girl was biting her fingernails nervously… She sat down and swayed her legs, then jumped up and ran to the beach, narrowing her eyes and searching the distant sky.

He’d come… He said he would… He had to get her out of there.

Before Tonowari arrived…

How long did she wait like that…? Who knows, because soon enough, she started hearing the familiar sound of a propeller from afar.

It was a helicopter! It was there to pick her up!

(Y/n) was so happy that she jumped up and down in place, screaming “H-here! I’m over here!!”

“(Y/n)! Oh my god, are you okay?!”

“Ralph…! Oh, God, thank you…”

Her eyes welled up with tears as she heard the English words… Ralph’s expression of shock at her appearance, which seemed to have almost lost half its life, was vivid.

“Let’s go. Quickly, we have to leave before that crazy guy gets here!”

The island was too small and uneven for a helicopter to land on, so Ralph reached out from the cabin of the vehicle that was a short distance from the ground. Right when she was about to grab his hand, (Y/n) hesitated for a moment.

‘If I leave now… it will be the end of me with Tonowari. Our relationship will be over, just like that.’

Despite all that catastrophe, the thought of it made the blood drain from her fingertips.

“Ralph, I…”

“(Y/n)!!!”

The sound of a Skimwing’s wings flapping was heard along with that scream.

As soon as he had seen the Sky People’s machine that he had already witnessed once, Tonowari understood the situation flew towards them at a fast speed, his face turning pale.

“(Y/n), I was wrong! Please, please don’t leave!”

A desperate cry… Tonowari was pleading, yelling as if pouring out everything inside him.

“Shit, he’s already here… Get in, (Y/n)!”

“I… Wait, I...”

“If we wait any longer, it’ll be too late!”

The man grabbed (Y/n)’s hesitating hand and pulled with all his might, and (Y/n) was put on the chopper’s back. It would have been right to leave without even looking back, but the girl couldn’t take her eyes off Tonowari even after getting on the helicopter.

“(Y/n), please, please…!! I was wrong, please! Please, just stay…!!”

The pilot, after confirming that his companion was safely on board, took off straight upward. Their ride, which had risen to a point beyond the reach of the Skimwing, took off towards the forest at an incomparable speed.

“(Y/n)!!!”

Leaving behind Tonowari’s desperate cries.

Ralph looked anxiously at the strangely quiet (Y/n) behind him after having saved her in the nick of time while they headed back to the jungle.

“Are… are you alright?”

“...Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you for saving me.”

This was the right thing.

It was right to cut off that kind of relationship.

For Tonowari’s sake, and for hers.

(Y/n) kept looking back without saying a word… After flying like that for a few hours, when they arrived at the forest, the humans who had been waiting hugged her and welcomed her with tears in their eyes.

“(Y/n)! God, look at your face…! Are you okay?”

“We’re so sorry, we should have looked for you more...”

“Get in, quickly. You need to eat something warm and rest.”

She went inside and drank warm coca with marshmallows floating on top for an unknown amount of time, and then went through a health checkup just in case. Except for a slight malnutrition caused by skipping meals, everything was fine, so her colleagues breathed out a sigh of relief.

“The body is not the problem, it’s the mind...”

“Shh, be quiet.”

“Why? Did I say something wrong?”

“Just… pay attention…!”

It was already known by everyone that she had been in a relationship with Tonowari, as it had been declared by Maunan… and being imprisoned by such a lover was not an experience that could be easily overlooked. Since none of the remaining humans had majored in counseling or anything like that, they all just gave her their best wishes and let her rest in peace.

(Y/n) came into her room, saying she wanted to be alone, and swept the desk she had not seen in a long time with her hand. There was no dust, as if it had been cleaned in advance. She still didn’t feel like she was back.

The girl laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The mattress was soft, fluffy and comfortable; unrivalled to the hammock or floor of the open-plan marui. Suddenly, as she was just laying there, she felt that the bed was too cold. Was it because there was no large body that hugged her warmly? Although she had slept alone the whole time she had been on that island, the empty space felt alien, as if they he had been with her the day before.

‘No, Tonowari is a bad man who pressured me, trapped me on that island, and then shamelessly forced me not to leave.

Whether he was kind or not.

Whether he gave me a warm hug or not.

Whether he whispered that he loved me or not.’

(Y/n) knew it was nonsense, but… she wanted to see Tonowari.

She hated it so much, but was it because she realized she could never see him again? Memories of Tonowari continued to come to her mind without stopping. When he first gave her a ride, when he made her a necklace out of pretty conch shells, when he made her laugh with the kids and told her stories about shells… All her good memories were with Tonowari.

That night, the only thing that could be heard from (Y/n)’s room was the sound of sobbing and crying nonstop.

Meanwhile, the humans were not over their worries… because… Tonowari knew that (Y/n) was residing with the Omatikaya and even more so, he was the Olo’eyktan of a clan… Jake had to maintain the best possible relationship with the other tribes or, in the worst-case scenario, there would be an armed conflict.

Her friends asked Jake what he was going to do, and the former avatar decided to stick to his stance of protecting (Y/n).

“If it weren’t for (Y/n) during the war, half of us would have died. (Y/n) is like you, a member of my tribe. I survived and became the leader, but I won’t abandon my people like old shoes. Instead, we should avoid conflict as much as possible… and we should also prevent (Y/n) and Tonowari from seeing each other.”

He thought everything would be okay once the war was over, but he put his hand on his forehead, troubled by another matter.

“That Olo’eyktan… should be here by now?”

“It’s a matter of time.”

“...Even if he does something, don’t tell (Y/n).”

“Of course.”

Jake was half prepared for war, half prepared for diplomacy. He’d go with other Na’vis armed with weapons and try his best to avoid conflict, but if things went unexpectedly… While tension hung over the entire base, (Y/n) just cried in her room or slept like she was dead. She didn’t want to do anything else; she didn’t have the energy for it.

Unfortunately for the humans, time flew by… and finally, a radio message came from a tribesman who was scouting on an Ikran.

“A sea Na’vi has been spotted. He is believed to be the Olo’eyktan of the Metkayina, riding a Pa’li.”

“Hmm… How many people are with him?”

“That’s… the strange thing.”

“Strange?”

“He is alone.”

Alone? The humans who heard the radio were muttering. So, that meant he didn’t plan on using force, right? That was good… Nevertheless, why come alone? What was he thinking?

“Ha… I’ll go over there and talk to him first; don’t let (Y/n) know. It’s best if you distract her so she can’t come out at all.”

“Should be easy enough. She just cries in her room and doesn’t go out anyway.”

──

“I see you, Tonowari.”

“I see you, JakeSully.”

Jake’s palms were slightly sweaty as he faced Tonowari. The Na’vi, who was nearly 3 meters tall and had a body that would make it difficult to predict the outcome if they fought, was looking down at him.

“I will not take much of your time. Allow me to talk to (Y/n).”

“That won’t be possible. You know why.”

“I’m not here to do any harm. I just want to talk, that’s all.”

“(Y/n) won’t want to see you.”

“...I know.”

“Then you know why I have no choice but to refuse your request.”

“Just let me talk to her. The consequences will be on me.”

──

“...Jane? What are you doing at the door?”

“Huh? Oh, I… I was just looking at something.”

“I’m going out. Can you please step aside?”

“E-eh? Ahaha… Shouldn’t you sleep a little more?”

“No, I already slept for some time… I wanted to go get some fresh air.”

“The weather outside is not that great today~ Just stay in your room!”

“…? It seemed okay when I looked through the window?”

“It’s hot and humid and not pleasant...!”

The girl stared oddly at her colleague.

“What’s wrong? It looks as if you’re trying to keep me from going out.”

“Huh? O-oh, uh… No~ No, it’s just that...”

“Is there any reason why I shouldn’t go out?”

“W-what? Of course not, why would there be? Ahaha~”

“…..”

“Ahahaha...”

“Is Tonowari here?”

It was something like an intuition that even (Y/n) couldn’t explain. An instinctive inkling that Tonowari had come to see here.

“Eh? What… What are you talking about? Why would that Na’vi be here?”

“Tonowari is here, isn’t here?”

“That’s not it- (Y/n)! (Y/n), where are you going, (Y/n)!!”

She pushed past Jane and hurried down the hallway. While she was running, (Y/n) felt several hands trying to get a hold of her saying “Hey! Grab her! Don’t let her out!”. She didn’t know where the strength came from, but she shook the all off and pushed the door open with all her might and got out.

She squinted for a moment under the dazzling sunlight, then opened her eyes and looked at the spot where Tonowari was standing still. Jake made a face of defeat and gestured to his friends next to him.

“Take her back in, hurry!”

“No, let me talk to him.”

“...(Y/n)?”

“It was me who got tied up in this mess, so it’s me who has to do it, not you.”

“...I’ll be watching from the side, just in case.”

“Thanks, Jake.”

And so, (Y/n) stood in front of Tonowari for the first time in a long time.

“...(Y/n).”

“Long time no see, Tonowari.”

“...I have a lot to say.”

“Try me.”

The man fell to his knees. Jake looked back and forth between them in confusion.

“...I’m sorry. It was all my fault, and I dare not ask for forgiveness. I… I apologize for everything.”

“What do you want?”

“Just let me stay by your side.”

“Are you asking me to go back?”

“No, I shall stay with you.”

“...You’re going to stay in the forest?”

“If you permit me.”

“You- you are Olo’eyktan.”

“I’ll leave everything behind. The sea has no meaning to em without you.”

(Y/n) bit her lip and looked at Tonowari.

“If that’s the case, why did you do it?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you know how brazen you’re being right now?”

“It’s all my fault.”

“After locking me up, you think you can fix everything with a few words?”

“The morning you left, I was going to give up everything and take you out.”

“Are you expecting me to believe that?”

“You don’t have to believe it, just… know that it’s the truth.”

“...What are you going to do from now on?”

“I will atone for my sins by your side. You don’t have to love me, and you can hit me if you wish.”

“You want me to stay by your side? Even in the end, you only think about your own good.”

“...I’m sorry.”

The human looked at the sky for a moment. It was as clear as the day (Y/n) escaped from the island, and there before her was her captor kneeling, waiting for his punishment.

What did she want to do? The woman shut her mouth and stared at Tonowari.

‘Kiss me. Give it a try first and then decide.’

──

“(Y/n), are you sure about this? Really sure?”

“I told you, I really am. And don’t you remember what my major is? It makes it more convenient to love by the sea.”

“If it was going to end up like this… why did we make such a fuss about it?”

“If anything happens, be sure to contact me, okay? Charge your communication equipment frequently, and hide it somewhere Tonowari doesn’t know about.”

“Ralph will come to see me anyway. It’s okay.”

(Y/n)’s colleagues were worried about her as she prepared to leave with a bundle of luggage loaded onto the helicopter. She tried to reassure them one by one, as she didn’t want them to be so concerned. However, a large, distracting sea Na’vi kept hovering around her, unable to sit still.

“Just come and hold my hand. Don’t worry about what others think.”

“Okay…?”

They all must have been glaring at Tonowari, who they didn’t and couldn’t trust. Ralph, who had decided to go to the Metkayina regularly to check on her while delivering goods, said “I’ll keep a close eye on her.”

“Don’t worry, I’m going to be fine.”

“Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well last time,” he said and then prepared for takeoff as soon as Tonowari got into the helicopter.

The Na’vi silently held (Y/n)’s hand, who was sitting next to him, and then carefully brought it to his mouth with anxious eyes, as if he was about to press his lips against it. (Y/n) just smiled while looking at him.

After taking them to the reef clan, unpacking her luggage and reassuring Ralph, who kept gazing at Tonowari with a distrustful look, he spoke one last time with her alone.

“Even if nothing happens, please contact me every day, okay?”

──

(Y/n) sat down comfortably, but Tonowari couldn’t help but fidget and look around.

“Sit down, this is your home.”

“...Our home.”

She looked around the marui… It felt strange, because nothing had really changed since then.

“I brought some decorations, so I’ll put it over there.”

“Do whatever you want.”

“I’ll keep the experimental equipment here. Don’t touch it.”

“I understand.”

While she unpacked, (Y/n) suddenly let out a deep breath. Tonowari seemed to hesitate before asking.

“Do you regret it?”

“You?”

“I regret many things… but I don’t regret being by your side.”

“That’s fine, then.”

When she approached Tonowari and opened her arms as if asking for a hug, he wavered for a moment and then embraced her in a familiar way.

“Listen to me carefully. If you do something like that in the future, I really won’t ever forgive you.”

“That will never happen again.”

“And be sure to thank Maunan. She saved me.”

“Of course.”

Only then did (Y/n) actually hug Tonowari’s neck and gave him a light kiss.

“Now, let’s get back to bedecking our home.”

“...Yes, our home.”

(Y/n) acted awkward for a while and didn’t express their love as freely as before. The experience had clearly left scars, and (Y/n) sometimes woke up from her sleep and looked around to see if she was back on that rocky island. Each time, she was comforted by the warmth that embraced her and gave her solace.

(Y/n) thought that was enough.

Normal – Na'vi

Italics – English

Vocabulary list: olo’eyktan (clan leader), marui (pods built in the giant mangrove-like trees alongside the shores and are protected from crashing waves by giant reef barriers), tsaheylu (bond, neural connection), tsurak (skimwing), tsahìk (head shaman, high priest, interpreter), ikran (mountain banshee), pa’li (direhorse)

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didgeriduwu · 1 month

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Chapters: 5/?

Fandom: Team Fortress 2

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Scout/Sniper (Team Fortress 2) Characters: Scout (Team Fortress 2), Sniper (Team Fortress 2), Medic (Team Fortress 2), Spy (Team Fortress 2), Scout’s Mother (Team Fortress 2), Other Character Tags to Be Added

Additional Tags: Trans Scout (Team Fortress 2), Trans Male Scout (Team Fortress 2), Trans Male Character, Tokophobia Warning, Pregnancy, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mpreg, (i guess it depends on your definition), Emotionally Repressed Sniper (Team Fortress 2), oh god just communicate you fucks, Established Relationship, Situationship?, Spy is Scout’s Parent (Team Fortress 2), no beta I have no friends, Medic is a cunt i love him, Scout’s Ma is the best, Discussion of Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, almost forgot that one

Summary: Sniper and Scout’s relationship is in limbo, and neither seems to know if or how to fix it. Unexpected news finally forces a change, but whether it’ll be for better or for worse is anyone’s guess.

TW for this one: quick mention of the words "fat" and "wh*re" used derogatorily in a quick section of self-loathing/intrusive thoughts.

Jeremy woke with one singular conviction: Mick was wrong. He was lying, or he was mistaken, or there was some strange reason why Mick would say those words to Jeremy. It couldn’t be because they were true. That was ridiculous.

Mick had to love him. They’d been through too much together. He knew Mick too well. Jeremy couldn’t be wrong. Mick loved him. He did.

So when he looked outside to see empty desert where Mick’s van had been, he didn’t panic. Nor did he, when none of his teammates seemed to know where the marksman had gone. Even when he learned that Mick had taken a week of leave without telling him, Jeremy had successfully managed to stay not-panicking.

Jeremy could wait a week. He just had to wait seven days, and then Mick would be back to apologise. Maybe he’d come back with a ring or something. Maybe he was at Jeremy’s Ma’s house right now asking for her blessing.

Yeah, that sounded right. Mick was all polite and old-fashioned and stuff. That was totally something he would do. Jeremy didn’t want to ruin the surprise. He could be patient. He would be patient.

And Jeremy tried.

To their credit, his teammates did their best to help. It seemed they had all decided the optimal strategy was to distract Jeremy from his thoughts, and so they’d each found ways to keep him occupied outside of battle. Jeremy had lost count of the number of tea parties Pyro had thrown for him, or jobs Engie had really needed his help with that required suspiciously little effort but suspiciously long periods of time. He’d played round after round of cards with Demo and Solly and spent enough time helping with Medic’s doves that he could identify them all by name. Heavy had even taught him his coveted sandwich recipe, something that Jeremy had been asking about for years. The secret, it turned out, was that the sandwich contained no ham at all; instead, the meat was something Heavy called “Doctor’s Sausage”, specially imported from Russia.

That was the only thing that had managed to make Jeremy laugh all week.

Days seven and eight came and went, however, with no sign of Mick. Jeremy decided that he was just running late. Maybe his flight was delayed, or his van broke down. Those kinds of things happened every day. Mick would be back tomorrow; Jeremy was sure of it.

Day nine was agony. There was no battle scheduled, and the long hours wore on Jeremy’s nerves. By nine o’clock his brain was full to bursting, riddled with thoughts too sharp and quick to comprehend. It was a mercy, perhaps, that the hurricane in his head kept them from sinking in, but it was exhausting. And it was loud. So loud it hurt.

Jeremy sought out the one person who might be noisy enough to drown it out.

Soldier wasn’t being particularly loud when he found him, much to Jeremy’s dismay. The man was settled on the couch in the rec room, carefully stitching a white star the size of a baseball onto a mass of blue fabric and humming that jaunty little song they play at graduations. Solly quickly put him to work cutting stars out of white canvas and – much to Jeremy’s relief – launched into a very long and very loud lecture about some military guy from ancient Greece who had the bright idea to actually run at the enemy.

Jeremy definitely made more than fifty stars, but Solly never told him to stop. The two were silent for some time, focused as they were on their respective tasks. It was strangely calming, folding the little circles of fabric just right so he could make a star shape with only one cut.

After a while though, Jeremy’s thoughts wandered back to Mick. The quiet reminded him of lazy afternoons spent together in the camper, no sound between them but the quiet click clack of Mick’s knitting needles and the scraping of Jeremy’s pencils on paper. He’d look over from time to time and see Mick staring off into nothing, brows drawn together like storm clouds. Jeremy had long wondered what Mick was thinking about when he zoned out like that, but he was always too chicken to ask.

He tried not to think about how he might never get to.

“Where are ya, Mick?” Jeremy sighed to himself.

“YOU SHOULD ASK SPY.”

“Wha-?” Jeremy dropped the scissors; He had almost forgotten Solly was there. “Why?”

“HE’S A SPY, THAT MAGGOT KNOWS EVERYTHING!” Soldier broke his thread with his teeth before continuing. “ALSO, I SAW HIM TALKING TO SNIPER BEFORE HE LEFT.”

“What the fuck, Solly? Why are ya only now bringin’ this up? Wait-” Jeremy shot to his feet. “Before? Like right frickin’ before?”

“AFFIRMATIVE. AT APPROXIMATELY 0600 HOURS I SAW SNIPER TALKING WITH SPY ON THE PORCH BEHIND THE BASE. AFTERWARDS, HE ENTERED HIS VEHICLE AND DROVE AWAY. UNAUTHORISED. IT WAS A DISGRACE! HE IS A DESERTER AND IF HE RETURNS, HE WILL BE SHOT! NO! A BULLET IS TOO GOOD FOR-”

Jeremy didn’t stay to hear the rest of Soldier’s rant.

“Spy!” Jeremy beat against the door with the side of his fist. “Open up! I know you’re in there!”

“Go away, Jérémy.”

“No! Not until ya tell me what ya said to Mick! I know ya spoke to him last week. What the fuck did ya say?”

A moment passed and Jeremy swung his fist forward again. It connected with nothing.

Spy regarded him from the doorway with one eyebrow raised. He was dressed impeccably as always, but Jeremy thought he gave off an impression of dishevelment somehow. Maybe it was in the skin around his eyes more than in the drape of his suit. Maybe he was just getting old.

“Mon fils,” Spy said, as he often did. Jeremy had long ago decided it was an insult.

The runner shoved his way into Spy’s smoking room. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d been there, but it had certainly made an impression. Jeremy hated every square inch of it, gaudy and haunted-house-ish as it was. He hadn’t grown up poor exactly, but there were enough lean months littered throughout his childhood that this kind of brash display of wealth always pissed him off. That spark of anger only stoked the bonfire in his chest. Pyro would be so proud. “Did ya tell ‘im to leave? God, did you frickin’ pay him or somethin’?” Jeremy snatched the lapels of that precious ten-thousand-dollar suit. “Did ya hurt him? I swear to God I will fuckin’ end ya if you did.”

Jeremy was sick of surprises. It felt like it’d been one earth-shattering revelation after another lately, and he was frickin’ over it. So of course, Spy had one more for him. It wasn’t even anything he said or did that knocked Jeremy off kilter: It was the pity in his eyes.

“He is unharmed.” The Frenchman spoke in a monotone, words slow and controlled. “But I owe you an apology nonetheless.” Spy took four precise steps toward his chair and sat in it. One gloved hand twitched toward the side table where his cigarettes lay, but he did not reach for them.

Jeremy did not move, but his eyes tracked Spy’s path across the room. All that fire had turned to brittle glass.

“I did speak to your copain,” Spy practically hissed that last word, but the spite seemed to leave him as quickly as it had arrived. “I had overheard part of your argument and thought to intervene. I did not realise you hadn’t told him about your… situation, and for that I am truly sorry.”

Bile rose in Jeremy’s throat. “Ya told him? Ya knew somehow and you fuckin’… How did ya know? Oh god you told him. He knows. He knows and he left.” He shook his head wildly, as if to loosen the tangle of thoughts there. Jeremy’s gaze caught again on the Frenchman, held upright and still in his velvet armchair. “He’s not coming back, is he?”

Spy just looked at him with those pitying eyes.

‘I’m gonna be sick, I-” Whatever Jeremy was about to say was lost in a tide of stench and vomit. He dropped to his knees heaving bile and tears and wheezing gasps into Spy’s fancy silk rug. Rage and shame and despair played tag in the cockles of his heart.

Eventually the flood petered out and Jeremy became aware of a hand rubbing circles into his back. Another began to tug him gently upright by the shoulder. It was unbearable; Jeremy swiped at it blindly. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me!”

He lurched haphazardly toward the door and wrenched it open, only to find the hall beyond crowded with six concerned mercenaries. Jeremy steadfastly avoided their eyes, even as he felt the weight of their gaze on him. Mercifully, no-one spoke.

Jeremy staggered forward, and the crowd parted. Hands reached out as if to touch him but stayed suspended in mid-air. He heard an intake of breath from someone, as if they were preparing to say something, and Jeremy felt every muscle in his body pull taut. His brain filled in the empty space.

Left all alone again. Poor unlovable little Jeremy. He can’t even get anyone to stand him, let alone love him.

He took three steps backwards, head shaking again from side to side.

Look at that pathetic little whore, all knocked up and getting fatter by the day. Won’t be able to run for much longer, and then what’ll he be good for? Nothing!

Jeremy was weeping again, great gasping sobs that shook his entire body.

He was really starting to think he could be a parent too. What kid would want him as a father? It’d beg for him to leave.

His teammates’ gaze felt like molten lead. Jeremy was embarrassed to be seen like this, fresh from the mess he’d made on Spy’s floor.

He was embarrassed to be so exposed, to have so clearly displayed the weakness he’d been hiding away for so long.

Hell, he was embarrassed to be seen at all.

So Jeremy did the one thing he did best: he ran.

And his feet beat a steady rhythm to the Respawn Machine.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #scout tf2 #sniper tf2 #sniperscout #speeding bulle #t spy tf2 #tf2 fanfiction #my fanfiction #tw pregnancy #cw pregnancy #tw tokophobia #tokophobia warning #medic tf2 #trans scout #trans!scout #my work

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eldrbraus · 2 years

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TWISTED WONDERLAND BOOK 7 CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS. (summary, kinda. dont trust me a lot on literal translations its more of a general summary and i could be wrong with some things. also its kind of live reaction so. yeah. this shit is long btw. too much lore.)

no spoilers in tags, but beware that i will be spoiling the whole chapter for people who cant wait for the full translation/people who cant read it

we begin.

>lilia is asking malleus to use the dorm for a “im going away lol” party that apparently the whole dorm is organizing??? damn lilia way to make malleus sad lmao

>MALLEUS IS INVITED!!!!!!! HES INVITED HE GOT AN INVITATION AND EVERYTHING!!! SOBS. he even accepts it this is a glorious day for dragonchan

>uhhh something i dont fully understand but goes along the lines of malleus.. had gao gao kun.. FOR 17 YEARS??? AND WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THE TOY HE WOULD GO TO LILIAS HOUSE FOR HIM TO HELP HIM??? omg thats so fucking cute help

>basically more talk about how time goes away way too fast for malleus

>lilia comments how the more time you spend with someone the harder it is to say goodbye (bestie arent you going away like too easily then? sus.)

>lilia left and OOP. MORE MALLEUS BLOT. NOT GOOD. malmal is very confused??

>lilia goodbye party already??? wtf thats fast

>so apparently every single character is going to be here (almost...)

>hmh where the fuck is malleus? lol what

>trey says something along the lines of lilia having a hmmmmmm unique??? way of cooking LMAO. lilia thanks trey for his cooking advice (YOU DIDNT LISTEN EVEN ONCE WHAT THE FUCK LILIAAA)

>cater....... hes so sad about lilia leaving the music club :((( he thanks lilia for being friends and they take a pic together waaaaa ;;

>lmao leona appeared and lilia is teasing him so much bcs leona is glad to not see lilia again

>LEONA WANTS TO LEAVE BUT RUGGIE SAID “NO??? THIS IS FREE FOOD??? R U DUMB” HELP

>octavinelle time! lilia basically gives all of them advice (azul dont be too greedy or it will kill you wwwww)

>floyd says something like “why are you leaving actually” and lilia says something along the lines of “i dont want you to see the ?? me?” the what you i didnt understand that part what are you hiding little bitch

>KALIM BASICALLY SAID THAT IF LILIA GOES TO HIS COUNTRY HE WOULD HAVE VIP TREATMENT FROM HIS FAMILY HELLO? and jamil comments how kalim wanted to gift him an instrument but they needed a TRUCK TO MOVE IT???? tf were you giving him, an organ?

>now to pomefiore, vil comments how malleus restored his beauty at the end of book 6 and wonders if they can do a magic transfer (?) of the same type to lilia and he says nah

>BECAUSE HES JUST OLD

>pomefiore is like ? arent you the same age as us

>LORE BOMBSHELL, LILIA SAYS HES ALMOST 700 YEARS OLD??????? (way less than i expected?? lol)

>LMAO THEYRE SO SURPRISED. rook asked if malleus is as old as lilia and lilia said that malleus is younger??? or that hes as old as them??? i didnt get that very well but something along the lines of malleus being way younger than lilia basically

>lilias family members are supposed to reach 1000 years old but apparently lilia was to eager? well not that, like he fucked up by playing too many games and that somehow made him old very fast? what (i think this might be a misstranslation help because it doesnt make a lot of sense. but something along the lines of lilia being 700 or so and his family being much older usually but him not reaching that age)

>cant remember exactly where it was but lilia also coments about how the dragons usually live much longer and that 1000 years for them is like peak maturity, when they become adults

>IDIA IS CRYING BECAUSE HIS GAMER FRIEND IS RETIRING FROM GAMING BUT HE WONT FUCKING CONNECT THE DOTS AND REALIZE ITS LILIA LMAO

>HE FORGOT TO ASK HIM HIS CONTACTS HELPPPPP

>also apparently him and lilia were their own best and first friends in online games?

>oh malleus and silver time! theyre in the main road to the main building

>malleus is throwing a mild tantrum (?) and he made snow??? apparently

>silver fucking crying because he wasnt able to do anything for his dad bruh malleus feels the same

>more malleus blot?? what the fuck thats fast

>UH OH MALLEUS HAS AN IDEA. that cant be good.

>back to the party, first years time

>basically all thank lilia for everything

>i think ortho knows about lilia and idia being gamer friends but wont tell them??? he just said that idia didnt want to come and hands lilia a list of everything idia is playing (and lilia is surpised because most of the games are the same BUT HE WONT REALIZE) so maybe they can play a match before he retires i guess???? theyre so close to finding out but they wont fucking do it im going insane

>idia didnt come to the aprty btw he is the only character that is not there because he was mourning his friend quitting the game lmao

>lilia thanks yuu once again for being friends with malleus?

>HUH? A DREAM???? BUT YUU IS NOT ASLEEP TF

>yuu asks lilia if they can do anything for him and lilia asks the first years to be friends with sebek because poor croc hasnt made a single friend rip

>lilia apologized for sebeks behaviour bcs ace i believe said that he was so rude and said to sebek to behave but sebek.... refuses? lol

>LILIA IS GOING ALREADY AND MALLEUS AND SILVER ARE NOT BACK YET STOP.

>apparently lilias card for nrc arrived 500 years ago but he didnt care back then? so when malleus received his much later he went along with him (and he thanks crowley for letting him enter the school 500 years later lol)

>LILIA IS GOING

>MALLEUS AND SILVER ARRIVED ON TIME!

>malleus is really happy everyone is there

>??? the party said that no gift was needed but malleus is brining lilia a gift anyways, a “blessing”. uhhhh.

>m. malleus is like way too happy about this. hes saying something along the lines of “today we dont celebrate an end but a beginning” uh. not good.

>this bitch is way too happy tf

>BASICALLY MALLEUS PLAN IS THE MUGEN TSUKUYOMI HELP?

>ORTHO IMMEDIATELY DETECTED BLOT RISING

>crowley is fucking alarmed and he lets everyone use their magic

>malleus regular battle HE HAS 300K HP AND REGENS 60K EVERY SINGLE TURN??????? BASICALLY AN IMPOSSIBLE BATTLE LIKE THE FIRST BATTLE IN THE GAME AGAINST THE CHIMERA

>you will lose this battle

>lilia tried to make magic to stop him but says something like “this body cant even do magic like that anymore?!” tf you mean “this body” do you have other bodies like dottore or what

>everyone is scared shitless HUH

>lilia is now insulting malleus calling him a dumbass or smth and saying that he doesnt know what hes doing and malleus screams that hes doing this to not lose him HELP

>sebek and silver are trying to calm things down, it obviously doesnt work

>malleus says something about grabbing his hand??? scary

>he gave his blessing! its a long ass spell btw. i think his “blessing” is his unique magic

>DAMN THAT LILIA SCREAM

>MALLEUS FUCKING OVERBLOTS. ALREADY???

>THE WHOLE SCHOOL WAS COVERED IN THORNS AND EVERYONE FALLS ASLEEP???

>malleus saying something about 1000 years will pass very quick wtf

>”you will become the heroes of the story”? malmal says something like that

>AND NOW

>AND FUCKING NOW

>WE RETURN TO THE TWISTED WONDERLAND LOGO. THE ONE FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME. WHILE MALLEUS HUMMS ONCE UPON A DREAM.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.

THE TIME LOOP THEORY? HUH?

#twisted wonderland #twst book 7 spoilers #HELP.#i fucked up and wrote book 8 LMAO my bad

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skyburger · 21 days

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waslooking through the tourette's tag on ao3 earlier and am both happy and kind of sad to say the top fandom is creepypasta. Happy because thats my boy toby 🔥🔥🔥🔥 but sad because like damn okay there really Arent other characters with. tourettes. in like anything. some of the next top fandoms are dsmp rpf, bnha & the mcu and like correct me if i am wrong but having been in two of those three fandoms for a while (admittedly several years ago) i think those are just headcanons. and dont get me wrong i love headcanons so so so much (theres this one fic with someones headcanon about trucy ace attorney having tourettes and i love it to bits) but like wtf. why cant they start putting tourettes syndrome havers (touretters? tourettesers? tourettics? idfk) in evwrything. like i Know why its because "oh noooooo hes twitching and making NOISES hes a FREAK!!!!!!!! and/or a psycho killer!!!!!! aaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!" but also thats Their problem not mine. anyway i cant change the canonical tourettes-having status of popular fictional characters but i CAN and WILL hype tourettes headcanons up.!! if you have a headcanon for any character about tourettes and you like writing go write about it!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE TICS YOURSWLF!!!!!! I LOVE READING FICS WHERE PEOPLE HEADCANON THEIR FAVES AS HAVING THE SAME THINGS THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!!does not matter if you think your writing sucks xause first of all u gotta suck to get better at aomething. but also it literally couldnt suck because you gave your blorbo tourettes and rhats sick as hell thank you for uour service. i think i maybe had a point here but i forgot ir my bad. ummm yeah. shia labeouf had a point* bro dont let uour dreams be dreams. yesterday you said youd write that fic tomorrow so just DO IT!!!

*he did not havw a point when i was walking through the woods there was no one around and my phone was dead but out of the corner of my eye i spotted him. Anywho i digress

anyways.

my final messagw: read the aforementioned trucy wright ace attorney tourette's fic... (it holds a place in my heart dude........ Shes just like me for real!!!!!)

Goodby e

#muffin mumbles #im not leaving or anything you fellas cant get ridda me that easy. im just always thinking abt my final message: change da world... goodbye #tourettes #im not doing more tags im tired and that gets yhe point across

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kaylinalexanderbooks · 6 months

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Find the word

Thanks to @sleepywriter00 for the tag here! Sorry this is a little late I got behind on these!

My words: spoon, energy, study, listen

Your words: future, slice, deserve, access

Tagging @jezifster @little-peril-stories @mysticstarlightduck @blind-the-winds @herrmannhalsteadproduction @cowboybrunch @i-can-even-burn-salad @aziz-reads @memoriethereaderandwriter-blog @mk-writes-stuff @buffythevampirelover @mantabanter @chauceryfairytales @eccaiia @pb-dot @frostedlemonwriter or anyone who wants to hop on!

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @fairy-tales-of-yesterday - y'all can also hop on if you want

Keep reading for:

Talk about planners and Gabriel's nickname

Short passage of pseudoscience babble

Telepathy world building! Will this change? Who knows!?

Maddie helps Kelsey calm down <3

Spoon (twice!) - from The Secret Portal Part Two (Lexi POV)

“Oh, shoot, I forgot my planner.” I turned to see it still lying on the floor. I flicked my wrist slightly to teleport it in my hand. “You brought a planner to breakfast?” Tyler asked as he drank his orange juice. “It’s just how I manage my life,” I said. I opened it up on the table to show them the January schedule. “Wow, that’s really pretty,” said Carla. “I don’t need a planner, given my powers.” “Aw, yeah, I wish I could just stop time at my leisure,” I said as I closed the planner again. “I have a planner,” said Tyler. “It’s called here.” He pointed to his head. “Medina has one like yours, but it’s a little boring.” “One, you need to write things down in case you forget,” said Gabriel, pointing at Tyler with his spoon. “Two, I don’t see why a planner needs color.” “To organize different activities,” I answered. “Hm. Well, I guess mine is just schoolwork and my job.” “You have a job?” I asked, leaning forward. Gabriel nodded. “Construction job—perfect for terrakinetics. After school on the weekdays, I walk about fifteen minutes to a site—” “Wait, you live here full time?” I asked. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” “You’re fine, I don’t care. Yes, I live here full time.” I chose not to inquire any further, even though Gabriel didn’t seem that bothered by it. “After school, I do the homework that I need to get done, then I help the docs out.” “What do they need help with?” “Various things. Um, right now we’re sorting through the multiverse database to see if we can find Rosalinda.” “Oh, yes, that’s right.” “G,” Carla whispered. “I’m fine, Carla,” I said. “But thanks. It’s actually really cool that Gills is helping.” “Gills?” Gabriel sighed then continued eating. “You really have been spending way too much time with Stafford.” “When are you gonna accept it’s an actual genius nickname?” Tyler asked. “Then why don’t you use it?” “It’s too silly for you.” “Do you not like the nickname?” I asked. “We can stop using it.” “Unfortunately, Nakashima is right,” Gabriel muttered, spinning his cereal around with his spoon. “It’s a pretty clever nickname. It’s so stupid, it almost works.”

It's Gills because his initials are GLZ (surname not included)

Energy - from The Secret Portal Part One

William put down his tablet and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses. He’d been working so late that it was now early. It was so quiet he could hear the snakefly behind him violently flapping its wings. He sighed, then reread the last paragraph he’d written: Replicating the negative energy density found in a chronokinetic’s rifts is no easy task. The level needed to connect one time to another is far greater than a Level-7 teleporter, but nowhere near the level in the portal that connects our reality to Ceteri, nor even a dimensiokinetic. If chronokinetics were less seldom born, perhaps this task would be accessible. William glanced at the chemicals bubbling in the flask on the table before him. As there hadn’t been a documented chronokinetic in a century, it was nearly impossible to replicate their powers considering the amount of negative pressure needed. He would have to work with what he had: a Level-7 teleporter’s DNA—not common, but much more so than a chronokinetic. Jumping through space required significantly less negative energy density than time jumping, so trying to get it up to what he desired was no easy feat.

Study - from The Secret Portal Part One (Ash POV)

I'm probably gonna change the "in a century" thing. Not sure what I'm gonna do but it feels wrong.

“Telepathy is an exception to the classification of powers. It and shapeshifting are the only two recorded to not have their sub-powers build off each other, but rather have them separate.” “Why are there so few sub-powers?” I prodded. “The mind doesn’t have a limit, therefore telepathy shouldn’t, either, right?” Carla waved her hand side-to-side as if to say eh, kinda. Aloud, she answered, “It’s been said that there have been cases of telepaths with more advanced powers, but there has only been one recorded case. Though some conspiracy theorists say there were more, but weren’t recorded, and that they went into hiding, locked themselves away, or maybe went insane.” “Insane?” I repeated. Carla fiddled with the ring hanging from the chain around her neck. “The mind can only stretch so far. If advanced telepaths did—or even do—exist, there would be no way they could function. Their minds aren’t able to communicate the information that they can comprehend. They end up lost in their own thoughts, unable to reach out to another being.” I fell silent. “Carla’s in an online holographic course in Telepathic Theory,” George said, breaking the silence. “All of that is just theory. Scientists who study the telepathic mind made a list of potential powers.” “Can powers develop?” I asked. “Of course,” said Carla. “Most Alii, in general, start at a lower Level, usually a Level-1, and most become more powerful. It depends on the person.” “So, you’re saying I have the potential to be a powerful telepath?” Carla laughed. “No, the odds are you’ll be able to read minds and that’s it. Maybe one sub-power.” “Oh.” My shoulders dropped. “Okay.”

Listen - from The Secret Portal Part One (Kelsey POV)

“Kelsey!” I heard a faint voice say. “Kelsey!” I opened my eyes, lifting my head against the strong wind. A small figure walked toward me, kneeling down beside me. “Kelsey, look at me,” Maddie said, grabbing my hands. Her long hair whipped around her body, out to me. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I clasped her hand. My neck was ticking uncontrollably, preventing me from meeting her eyes. “It’s gonna be okay,” she said, pulling me forward into a hug. I embraced her, shaking, twitching, sobbing. “Kelsey, listen. Remember yesterday when this happened? You made the mansion toxic. Remember?” I nodded. “I don’t want that in my house. But you need to get rid of this… weird darkness stuff instead of just making it explode. Can you do that?” I shook my head. “Just focus on me, ‘kay? Now, can you breathe? Slowly?” I did, inhaling and exhaling. “I think you can make this black smoke go away if you imagine sucking it all up. Or maybe it just needs to disappear. Can you do that? Imagine it. Maybe it’ll work.” I closed my eyes, imagining the darkness fading away until it disappeared. I imagined the air in the room was still at breathable levels. That the smoke nor wind didn’t affect anything around it. The wind stopped. The darkness went away. Still in Maddie’s arms, I opened my eyes. The room looked untouched.

Pretty sure I've shared that last excerpt before but I like it

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 1 year

Text

"get me a damned matcha" | Chapter 5: October I

{{ Chapter 4: September | Chapter 6: November I }} Chapter Directory

levi's stupidly observant for someone who pretends to be aloof all the time, js

if you're interested in getting tagged for updates, fill out this form here!

✧ pairing ➼ levi ackerman x fem!reader, college x coffee shop x roommates!au ✧ summary ➼ After you find yourself plagued with misfortune due to struggles in your personal and family life, you find yourself needing to move last minute. As a junior in undergrad with little money and little social support, you considered yourself lucky when you found a sublease that was close to campus and was relatively cheap. Unfortunately, it seemed that your roommate did not seem to be so excited regarding your presence. ✧ content/warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, enemies to lovers (sorta), strangers to lovers, fem!reader, descriptions of reader being superficial (ITS PART OF THE BACKSTORY ILL EXPLAIN LATER ITS FINE), jean and eren being comedically competitive, the ex-boyfriend that was supposed to be porco that i renamed to zack, floche being gross, explicit descriptions of grief, substances/alcohol, college-typical parties ✧ word count ➼ ~4.8k

"Did you have to plan this on the day of the Rumbling?"

You shot an intentionally offensive side-eye towards Oluo. The two of you, plus the rest of the officers for your Honors Society, currently found yourselves at an arcade that was about a 10-15 minute walk from campus. It was the weekend after midterms, so you figured that it was the perfect time to host your first official social event.

However, your generally clueless vice president and social committee chair decided to conveniently book the event on the one night in which another major event that you were all planning on attending was occurring. You had initially said you would handle the booking and were pleasantly surprised when Oluo had offered to do it instead, only to be horrifically disappointed once you found out the date he chose.

This was why you never bothered asking the other officers to do anything—it always ended up like this. It was chaotic, disorganized, inconvenient, or all of the above.

The Rumbling was a rave at a nearby club on the outskirts of campus. They hosted a Halloween party every year, but had an age restriction of being 21-years old due to the open bar, which meant that this was the first year that you could attend without doing something shady to get a fake ID of some sort.

Literally all of the other officers were planning on going together, so you were more than pissed that Oluo had planned your social on this day. Not only did it disrupt your plans, but it also might give the freshmen a bad first impression. It wasn't much of a social support community if you were cutting them short and leaving them on their own at their very first formal event.

"I forgot!" Oluo exclaimed in defense, which earned an eye roll from you.

You looked over towards the entrance as you heard the door open and saw a few other students walk in. They weren't at your general meeting last month, so you didn't recognize them, except for one.

You smiled and waved at Marlo. You had never talked to him, but you've seen him behind the counter at the café before.

"Oh hey!" you said with a smile as Marlo walked up to you. "You're the freshman that works at Levi's café, right?"

"Sophomore," Marlo said awkwardly as he shuffled. "Just started, but yeah!"

After chatting a bit, it turns out that you and Marlo were both in an individualized track related to writing, although you were focused more on creative writing whereas he was focused more on grant-writing for criminal justice organizations. It was the same program, but completely different tracks.

Everyone had formed into their own little circles. Most had gathered around the dining table to chat while devouring the pizza you had ordered.

You looked up as you noticed a particularly rowdy group on the other side of the arcade.

It seemed that Eren and Jean were bickering with each other in front of a Dance Dance Revolution game, nearly having a yelling match over who was better at the game, while Mikasa was playing, clearly outscoring the both of them combined.

You were nervously checking the time periodically, wanting to end the event as late as possible without having to rush to get to the Rumbling later. After about an hour and a half, you began wrapping up, motioning for everyone to clean up before heading back to campus as a group.

Although the event had ended early, you were able to tell that the freshmen had a good time with how chatty they were on the way back to campus.

While that was good news, you still found yourself being restless, walking at a slightly faster pace than everyone and forcing yourself to slow down and wait occasionally. You were more than overstimulated by the time you finally dropped everyone off at the main hub on campus for them to each head to their individual dorms.

You watched them intensely as they all went into the building. By the time the door had shut, you were long gone, leaving the other officers confused.

They were supposed to accompany you to the party, but you found yourself much more stressed than they were, which resulted in you making a beeline for your apartment.

By the time you had arrived, you were out of breath and running purely on adrenaline. You entered through the front door and immediately ran for your room, without even taking a moment to notice if your aloof roommate was at home.

You frantically opened the door to your closet, your eyes scanning through all of your clothes.

It was silly, but the reason you were so stressed was because you weren't sure of what to wear to the Rumbling. It was a high-key Halloween party, so you felt obligated to wear a costume. There was nothing about a dress code and a good amount of people went in casual clothes, but you still felt the need to wear something that was obviously a Halloween costume.

Your eyes immediately fell onto a party dress that you had bought a few weeks ago that you had planned to be your default get-up whenever you went out. However, it'd be boring to wear such a plain thing to a Halloween party—and you definitely didn't want to seem boring.

After a few minutes of digging through your closet, you tensed as your eyes fell on a maid costume you had bought as a joke freshman year. You never intended to wear it as an actual costume—even now, a part of you resisted against it, wondering if you could find something else to wear.

You tapped your finger on the closet door, desperately trying to think of anything else to wear.

After a few minutes, you realized that you couldn't afford the time needed to labor over this decision. You immediately grabbed the maid outfit, groaning in exasperation.

~~~~~

The club was more than filled by the time that you arrived. Both you and Petra stepped inside after showing the bouncer your ID's. The music was stupidly loud, there was a DJ cheering everyone on at the very back, and fake smoke littered the air. A mix of students and locals were dancing on the dance floor, with some choosing to hang out around the local bar.

This wasn't your first party. You've definitely drank and partied before, but being 21 meant that you could officially drink now. It had a different feel to it. Some of the thrill that you used to get from illegally drinking had faded, but you felt that you were now able to enjoy it properly.

A few minutes passed before you noticed Oluo and Gunther also step in, with a tall gentlemen quickly following. You had never met him, but Gunther mentioned that he was friends with Eld and that he was bringing him along to catch up.

"You got changed fast!" Oluo said immediately, eyeing your maid costume.

You immediately punched his shoulder, feeling more than a little embarrassed that his first comment to you was related to your last-minute costume that you were already reluctant to wear.

"You think we'll see anyone we know?" Petra asked as she looked around.

"Probably," you said, walking past Oluo who was now rubbing his shoulder in pain. "It's a pretty big party."

The first half of the night was a blur for you. You remembered doing some shots while getting to know Eld, never mingling too far into the dance floor. The mosh pit-style get-up was just never your thing.

You were feeling a gentle buzz at this point and the sensation allowed you to let loose for a little while and forget all the bullshit you had to otherwise deal with.

However, that didn't last very long.

You felt your entire body freeze up with anxiety as your eyes fell onto your ex-boyfriend's figure on the dance floor.

Your relationship with Zack was not the best one. It wasn't anywhere near healthy, and the last time you saw him, you were having a yelling match and he kicked you out, which was what prompted your whole housing situation.

You saw him begin to turn in your direction and you immediately hid behind Eld's tall figure, thankful that you had noticed in time so that he didn't see you.

"What's up with you?" Eld asked, noticing your sudden change in behavior.

"N-Nothing!" you replied nervously, forcing a smile. "I'm going to grab a drink!"

You kept your head low as you quickly headed towards the bar, which was on the opposite side of the venue, immediately finding the most tucked-in corner seat that you could find and plopping down onto the barstool while burying your face in your hands.

After you took a few minutes to catch your breath, you gestured over to the bartender for a shot. Suddenly seeing Zack had sobered you up more than you would have liked it to and you definitely needed the numbing effect of more alcohol to forget his presence, although your night was already somewhat ruined.

Just what I needed. On the one night I decide to let myself let loose after the shitshow that was the first half of the semester and he's here.

You frowned as you glanced back towards the dance floor.

He can come out to a rave in the middle of the night, yet he couldn't find the time to drop off my shit?

You weren't surprised, but it still pissed you off.

Your view of the dance floor was immediately obscured as someone decided to sit next to you—a bit too close for comfort.

He was a scrawny dude roughly your age, with a cocky face and a questionable haircut that somewhat looked like a bird's nest. You couldn't tell if the haircut was purposeful or not. It looked ridiculous either way.

You've seen him around campus. He was a sophomore majoring in business, so you never had the chance—or desire—to interact with him.

"Name's Floche," he said with a tone of confidence that didn't really match his appearance. "Can I buy you a drink?"

You scoffed at him.

"Are you even old enough to be drinking?"

"I can be," he said with a shrug.

You grimaced for a split second at his answer, although it was barely noticeable—and especially not noticeable to someone like Floche. You quickly changed your expression to one of a forced smile.

"I'm okay, thanks! Already took a bunch of shots."

"Oh c'mon, let me treat you!" he responded, scooting a bit closer. "You're too pretty to be here alone, so let me keep you company."

Part of you had hoped when he sat down that he was just being friendly, but now you could no longer deny that he was being aggressively flirtatious. Normally, you wouldn't mind the random comments you'd get at parties. They were usually non-consequential, other than making you uncomfortable in the moment.

However, with your elevated anxiety due to suddenly seeing Zack, you really didn't have the emotional capacity to handle something like this at the moment. Any intention of humoring Floche with his cheesy and flirtatious commentary was nowhere to be found.

"Who said I'm alone?"

He needed to go away.

Instead, he scooted even closer to the point that you were starting to feel cramped as you scooted back towards the wall, cursing at yourself for choosing to sit in the corner.

"Well, you're over here on your own, without looking around for anyone you know."

He was getting way too close.

"Just let me buy you a drink! I promise you won't regret it."

"Mmm, I said no thanks," you responded sternly.

Floche responded by gesturing to the bartender.

You were not in the mood for this. You were beginning to get more than pissed, to the point that your people-pleaser façade began rapidly diminishing. You couldn't get yourself to continue masking.

You scowled at him.

"Dude, are you allergic to the word 'no'?"

"Don't worry," he said with a smirk. "I like it when you play hard-to-get!"

That did it. In that exact moment, you no longer gave a single shit about what others thought of you.

"What the fuck, I'm not-"

"Oi, fuck off, you lanky parasite."

You heard a familiar voice that brought you a heavy sense of relief—in contrast to how irritated it usually made you feel.

Floche looked over and made eye contact with Levi. He was about half a foot taller than your roommate, but Levi was much more intimidating than he was.

"What, are you her boyfriend or something?"

"Fuck no," you both responded at once.

You felt the corner of your lips tugging up subtly into a smirk in response to your simultaneous answer. At least you were on the same wavelength with Levi on something—a feat you never thought you'd achieve.

"See? I wasn't here alone?" you motioned towards Levi, hoping that this would be enough to get Floche to go away.

"So fuck off," Levi scolded, not giving Floche to make the decision himself. "Don't make me say it again."

After Floche finally left, Levi sat on the stool next to you. You glanced at him and noticed he wasn't in a costume of any sort, simply wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He couldn't possibly look any more plain.

"Fucking undergrads," he grumbled.

"What's with you and hating undergrads?"

You'd lost count of how many antagonistic comments he had made towards undergraduate students at this point.

"It seems I can't get rid of you even when I'm not at the café or apartment," he said, dodging the question. "How annoying."

You pursed your lips, giving him an unamused expression.

"You're the one that chose to sit next to me. You could be anywhere in this giant ass theater."

"That douche was harassing you," he said in a matter-of-fact tone, as if he was astonished that you were even questioning him. "And there's too many fucking people in here."

He paused, his gaze moving from your eyes down to the rest of your body, finally noticing your outfit.

"Kinda ironic that you're in a maid costume when you're shit at cleaning at home."

You groaned and rolled your eyes. While you were embarrassed when Oluo commented on it, you felt your head ache in response to Levi's comment.

"I'm going to need at least three more shots if I'm going to be forced to talk to you," you grumbled as you gestured the bartender over.

You immediately downed the shot when you received it, grimacing a bit at the feeling of the alcohol traveling down your throat.

Your eyes went back into the crowd, scanning the crowded theater nervously. You were well hidden, but the fact that Zack was here still threw you off. This did not go unnoticed.

"What the hell are you doing here if you're truly not alone?" Levi asked, raising an eyebrow at you. "Doesn't seem like you to just be drinking in the corner."

"Don't act like you know shit about me or why I'm here," you immediately responded, barely giving him a chance to finish his sentence.

You realized that you responded much more defensively and sternly than you had intended. His question had struck a nerve and your anxiety plus the alcohol made it harder to regulate around him.

You took another shot as he looked at you in his usual unamused fashion, but didn't inquire further.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, deflecting from his question. "This is the last place I thought I'd see you at."

"'Don't act like you know shit about me'," he muttered, repeating your phrase word-for-word, earning a scowl and a groan of frustration from you.

You told yourself it was the lighting or the alcohol playing tricks on you, but swore you saw an ever-so-subtle smirk appear on his face that was gone within the second.

Levi glanced into the crowd and motioned over towards the opposite corner of the bar. You looked over and saw two people conversing. You vaguely recognized Hange, who was rapidly chatting away with a tall blonde gentleman that you had never seen before.

"Friend's in town," Levi mentioned. "He's actually the roommate you replaced."

You glanced at Miche again. Although the two of you were in contact to get the sublease set up, you had never physically seen him before.

"I'm kinda pissed at him for moving out because now I have you to deal with," Levi grumbled.

You stuck your tongue out at Levi, which earned you a grimace in response from Levi.

His eyebrows immediately scrunched together as he saw your eyes slightly widen before your entire body tensed up again.

Your eyes followed Zack's figure as he walked by again. Once you were able to confirm that he hadn't noticed your presence, you finally let out a breath that you weren't aware you were holding in.

Your anxiety was acting up again and you felt like you couldn't stand being in that theater any longer. It was as if you were suffocating on the spot.

"I'm getting out of here," you mumbled as you took the third shot, immediately getting up.

"On your own?" Levi asked, turning in your direction as you began to walk off. "You're not seriously thinking of driving, are you?"

You stopped in your tracks and scoffed at him.

"Of course not. I'm walking, dumbass."

"It's a 45-minute walk at least, dumbass."

"Well, I have plenty of time," you retorted as you began to walk away again.

"Tch. I'll just drive you, you stubborn brat," Levi said in exasperation as he dug his keys out of his pocket.

He glanced up as you gave him a skeptical look, questioning his ability to drive.

"I'm sober contact anyway. Just let me grab Hange and Miche."

He got up and walked past you to summon the two of them over, indicating that he was leaving.

"Any excuse to leave this place."

~~~~~

You felt like you could finally breathe again once you got home. Not only were you able to dull down the anxiety that had been itching at you ever since you saw Zack at the party, but you were also able to finally take off that incredibly uncomfortable maid costume, regretting ever putting it on in the first place. You immediately changed into sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, which was the complete opposite of the costume you had been wearing earlier in the night.

By the time you came out of your room, Levi noticed that you had looked much more relaxed than usual. It was that stark contrast that he noticed every day. The person he knew at home versus the person you presented yourself as in public were two very different people.

Despite both Hange and Miche hanging out at the apartment, you were more than fine being in your casual home clothes. It was likely due to the alcohol and heightened anxiety from the party making you exhausted enough to just not be bothered to give a shit once you actually got home.

You typed a quick text message to Petra letting her know that you got home safe before tossing your phone onto the couch and sitting down on the floor on the opposite side of the coffee table in your living room. You didn't want to think about that party for the rest of the night.

The company helped keep you distracted. Miche sat on the couch while you, Levi, and Hange surrounded the coffee table. You were sipping on a beer as you chatted with Miche about having Levi as a roommate.

"Was he as annoying when he was living with you?"

A smug grin appeared on your face as you noticed Levi scowling at you.

"He had his quirks for sure," Miche responded with a shrug.

"So he's just a dick. Got it."

Levi's scowl grew more intense as he glared daggers into your skull.

"A dick that cares," Hange chimed in.

The scowl on Levi's face turned into an unamused frown as he looked over at Hange, wondering exactly what was going on through their head at all hours of the day to prompt them to say such things.

"Ha," you forced a dry chuckle as you sipped on your beer some more. "What an oxymoron."

The four of you spent the next 45 minutes or so just chatting. Miche and Levi were catching up. Hange was asking you about your studies. Hange and Miche bonded over what it felt like to be free from the constraints of University.

You and Levi avoided talking directly to each other, but this wasn't new—and from the lack of surprised looks from Miche or Hange, this wasn't news to them either. He had talked to them about you.

All horrible things, I bet.

A frown appeared on your face as you began to ruminate over what it was that Levi could have been saying about you behind your back. You couldn't stand him and couldn't really care less what he thought of you, but the possibility of him spouting that nonsense to others made your stomach churn.

"So what made you need the sudden move?" Miche asked, pulling you out of your head. "I had basically given up on finding a sublease when you showed up."

You looked up towards the ceiling, trying to figure out the best way to describe your situation in a way that wouldn't upset you or require further explanation that you weren't prepared to give.

"...Shitty ex kicked me out."

The look on Levi's face went from an intense scowl to a subtle frown as you spoke. He was more than prepared to spit out a snarky response at whatever excuse you came up with to justify upending his life, but he found himself staying quiet once you started talking. He hadn't bothered to ask (or care) about your housing situation prior to living with him, so he didn't know any of this either.

"Didn't really have anywhere to go."

As long as you left it at that, you could continue this conversation without getting too upset and be able to ride out the rest of the night.

"No family?" Hange asked.

It was an innocent and normal question. Most people would first go to their parents—or whoever took care of them growing up—for refuge in those situations, and especially for undergraduate students, who could just wait until August for leases to start renewing.

You fell silent. An unreadable expression appeared on your face and in your eyes as you lowered your gaze to the ground. You were emotionally exhausted and still buzzed from the alcohol. Masking was out of the question.

"Sorry," Hange spoke after a few seconds, knowing that they had brought up a sore topic.

The atmosphere was thick with tension and you felt yourself grow increasingly tense. You felt like everyone's eyes were on you, even if they physically weren't.

Family—who would you consider family? There wasn't anyone real that came to mind, other than your aunt, who was likely the least supportive person on the planet.

"Shitty aunt that was out of the country. That's about it," you said shortly, clearly indicating that you didn't want to continue the topic.

It was already too late. The conversation had already brought up all the grief you had buried deep within you. You felt like saying a single word more about it would make your whole personality come crumbling down into a sobbing mess.

"I'm getting another drink," you mumbled.

You were too enclosed within your own mind to notice, but Levi's gaze had been focused on you ever since he saw your reaction to Hange's question. He saw the way that you tensed and emotionally withdrew. He could tell that it was a painful topic to talk about—and likely, fresh. Your pain was either fresh or repressed to the point of agony.

He wasn't a stranger to that pain.

He subtly watched you as you stood up and made your way into the kitchen to pour yourself another drink, your expression remaining stagnant—but Levi could tell by the way you moved or even the slight way that you scrunched your eyes that you were deeply disturbed by the conversation.

For the first time since he first set eyes on you, he saw you as someone other than just a spoiled brat.

Maybe he was wrong about you.

~~~~~

Your head was pounding. You couldn't tell if it's from the hangover or the lack of sleep—and you couldn't tell if the lack of sleep was from the alcohol, the mention of your parents, or both. You had been chugging water ever since you woke up, but it was doing little to help.

You squinted and groaned in pain as you arrived at your obnoxiously bright classroom. Holding your hand up to your forehead to shield your eyes from the assault of the bright lights, you slowly made your way over to the table that Oluo and Petra sat at, immediately burying your face into your arms once you finally got to sit down.

"Rough night?" Petra asked.

"You could say that," you responded quietly, your voice muffled as you continued to hide between your arms.

Just being upset was one thing. Just being drunk was one thing—you never could sleep well after drinking, anyway—but Hange's question brought up bad memories. Those memories frequently translated into nightmares. You couldn't sleep no matter how hard you tried.

You couldn't get your parents' death out of your head.

Ever since their passing, it was literally just you and your aunt. She became your main source of support, but you couldn't realistically count it as support. Although you were hesitant to admit it, you knew that she was a pretty shitty person, and generally drained you more than she was able to help you.

You were well aware of your people-pleasing tendency, or your inability to really stand up for yourself or voice your opinions in certain situations, and you knew where that came from. Your aunt constantly made comments along the lines of having to "save face" in front of others, and that social relations made or break whether someone could be successful in their lives and that you should prioritize getting along with others, even if it was at the expense of your own autonomy.

You knew it was bullshit deep down. You knew she was projecting her inability to hold anyone in her life onto you, but she had made those comments ever since you were young. Your parents did try to passively shield you from it, but then the comments came in full force once your parents passed, leaving you completely vulnerable to those thought processes. It was going to take a lot of time and effort to break that chain of thinking, but that involved energy that you just didn't have right now.

Your breakup with Zack plus Hange's question from the night before were rude reminders that you really didn't have anyone else. You didn't have anyone that you could really call your family.

"Magath is out today, isn't he?" Oluo mused out loud.

"Partied too hard?" you joked dryly, trying to distract yourself.

You turned towards the classroom door when you heard footsteps approaching. The door opened and a tall blonde man with a beard and round glasses walked in. You remembered him as the neighbor that helped direct you to Levi's café on your first day at the apartment. Apparently, he was the substitute TA for the lecture today.

His voice, and therefore his lecture, was difficult to focus on, although you couldn't tell if it was because you weren't used to him or if it was due to the hangover. You felt yourself nodding off throughout the lecture, which you didn't fight, although your dozing never lasted for long.

It was either fall asleep in class and miss the content from a substitute TA or force yourself to stay awake and deal with the chaotic thoughts mixed with grief, anxiety, and anger that were running through your mind—and miss the course content anyway because you wouldn't be able to focus.

You were quickly regretting even coming to class, but staying at home wouldn't have been much better. You'd be trapped with your thoughts regardless—your thoughts of losing your parents and being left to navigate a harsh world all on your own, without a single stable source of support.

#: @levisbrat25 @gothgril69 @sckerman @berrijam @notgoodforlife @meowjaa @averysmolbear @roseofdarknessblog @bejewelledd @hhighkey @ayame236 @sad-darksoul @velouria17 @kamyru @l1zk4 @layenacreates @lamees004 @whoami-72 @highgoon69 @chaotic-on-main

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bagely · 10 months

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HI! this is a translation of a fanfic I already published in AO3 but, I'm trying to prove myself and write in english, Soo yeah my first lenguaje it's not english is Spanish and because of that this work would have some mistakes 😬 sorry for that I do my best but I'm still just learning, so you can correct me, I would appreciate that.

Oh, and its in Missa's pov

Title: Can I have your number?

Words: 2,009

Ao3 link:

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

I walked through the door of the small university café, feeling the warm aroma of coffee fill my senses.

The barista, whose name is Starboby, was very welcoming, and there was nothing strange about her until I saw the bar where someone was preparing coffee with their back turned. I didn't recognize that haircut or the same tone, and I could say that with certainty since I had worked part-time at this place many times before.

«It seems like Roier has hired someone new» I thought, as I didn't recognize any of Roier's blonde friends. There weren't many people in the place, it was still very early. I adjusted my hair, which was longer than usual and a bit uncomfortable.

I walked confidently to the bar, and the barista turned around when she heard my steps and stood in front of me, several meters away. I stopped instantly.

"Oh, I didn't hear you," he said with a warm and cheerful voice while smiling at me. "Do you need anything?"

He was gathering some hair into a ponytail, and her deep blue eyes stirred something within me.

«WHY IS HE SO HANDSOME» I started feeling my heart stop or perhaps start beating so fast that I couldn't measure it myself.

"Uhm... I...just–" I was trying to forced myself to talk. I took a step back and said, "uh... I forgot something... I, uhm... goodbye"

Did I run away or walk very fast? I don't know, the point is that I was already two blocks away from that café. I slap myself.

«Missa, why do you always embarrass yourself? Fool, idiot, idiot...» I wanted to hit myself harder.

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A few days had passed, and I had "forgotten" (or rather ignored to maintain my sanity) that encounter at the café.

Rivers, a classmate, ask me if we want to do some homework together, and since my house was a mess due to my lack of organization, she decided it would be better to go to Starboby, Roier's café at the university. And here I am again, and he is here.

If someone asked me to organize the 5 most embarrassing moments of my life, what happened in this café a few days ago would occupy the top 5 places.

I'm behind my computer while looking at him, hoping he doesn't notice. After half an hour in the place, I only know one thing about him, and that is his name, which is Philza, and I only know that because I noticed the shiny name tag that I didn't see on my first visit.

I want to ask for his number... I would love to be able to get up and approach him, act like a normal person, and just talk to him, but at this point, I'm sure he thinks I'm a weirdo. I am a weirdo, but I don't like to think that he knows it.

"You could ask Roier for his number," Rivers brought one of her pens to my face and started poking my cheek with it insistently.

"And seem like a stalker? No, thanks," I replied in a somewhat annoyed tone because of what she was doing to my face, but I couldn't complain much anyway since I'm a bit behind on our task.

"Sure, you don't want to seem weird to your boyfriend," she started sarcastically, and she moved away from me in her chair while rolling her eyes. "Okay, be subtle and keep staring at him like a crow."

"I'm not...–" I don't even know what I was about to say because my mind freeze when my eyes were caught by his.

«Did he notice?» I felt a bit scared, I immediately looked away, but I heard a slight laugh coming from him. «he got me.» my face is completely red. I couldn't look in his direction for the rest of the afternoon, which was beneficial for Rivers since we were able to finish some work in one day and organize the ones we have left.

I started packing up my things to leave the café, and I felt someone behind me. My body tensed up when I turned around and saw him there. Time felt slow as he handed me a piece of paper. «His number?» That thought made me blush again until I looked down to see the piece of paper he had given me.

"Thank you for coming," he smiled at me, well, at us, Rivers is still here saddly "Again."

I'm sure that last part is for me, but he only gave me a receipt, just a receipt.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Today the café is a bit more crowded, it's rush hour, so I should have expected it. The line is at least 10 people long, and when it's my turn, I find myself too excited. I'm at the front, and I see him. He smiles at me but turns and moves away behind a door to the back. I'm late.

"Missa, what's up?" Roier is now at the bar, smiling at me as if he had just heard the best joke in the world. "Have you seen my new barista?" The look Roier gave me was so indiscreet that I almost hit him, it's obvious that Rivers told him everything.

I restrain any aggressive impulse that grows within me because if I expose myself more than I already am, I'm sure he won't leave me alone.

"Cold coffee, and remember to sweeten it well... You always make it a bit bitter," I tell him, completely avoiding the topic.

He laughs and turns around to start doing what I asked. I lower my head to the counter where the desserts are, I only came to the place for coffee and to see Phil, but it wouldn't hurt to have a donut anyway, one of the things I wanted to see wasn't there, I need a consolation prize.

"Are you ordering something?" That voice makes my heart skip a beat, and it makes me lift my head to see Philza on the other side of the bar with his ever-present kind and reassuring smile. I could die at that moment and be satisfied. "Didn't he finish his shift? Oh, it doesn't matter, my prayers were answered," I say.

"Yes," I say, perhaps a bit too loud.

"Phil! I see you've met Missa," Roier's joyful voice also stirs my guts, but in an unpleasant way, as I'm sure of what's coming.

"Oh, yeah, I've talked to him before," Philza replied, nodding.

I'm not saying anything, and it's awkward because this conversation is about me, but I can't do it, everything in me prevents me from commenting on what's happening.

"You need to treat him well" Roier speaks again, and I have the urge to run away from there, again. "He's not new here, he's one of our most loyal part-timers. A VIP customer," Roier says.

"Roier, no, don't exaggerate," I finally speak, looking into the brown eyes and begging him with my eyes to shut up for once.

"I see," Philza laughs, I notice how easy it seems to make that man laugh, which defensively doesn't bother me, I would love to hear that laughter for longer. I look at him again, and he returns the gaze. "I'll take good care of him then."

If he continues to be like that, I'll probably have a heart attack and die.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

It's almost the end of autumn, which means it's been a month since I met Philza, and I still haven't asked for his number. But I'm making progress, I'm at the point where I can say a complete sentence without stuttering. Anyway, I'm sure he thinks I'm weird because that's the only part of my personality that I've shown him throughout this month.

I'm at the café again, but I'm smart and learn from my mistakes. I don't go to the café during hours when I'm sure Roier will be there. I made that mistake twice, the last time was last week, and the man managed to embarrass me by telling Phil about all my mistakes when I was a rookie.

I'm not hiding behind my laptop this time; I'm "reading" a book. I read on the internet that people who look intelligent are more attractive, and I must use everything I can to my advantage.

Although I haven't talked to him much, I now know a few more things about Phil than just his name. For example, he's 25 years old, which means he's only three years older than me, and apparently, he knows Roier from his boyfriend, and knowing Cellbit's great social skills, he's probably a classmate or a fellow student.

Among the little things I know, I also managed to ask him if he's dating someone in the most discreet way possible, which means I told Rivers to ask him, and I was next to her to listen, and miraculously, the answer was no. I had never felt luckier in my life. I think I almost screamed when I found out, almost because I managed to maintain my composure as much as I could.

"Are you going to order something?" His voice, his terribly charming voice, snapped me out of my thoughts. I didn't realize when he had approached me, placing his hand on the table in front of me.

«Your number» I didn't say it. I wish I had said it. Damn it.

"I'm... I'm fine, you know, just chill.. yeah.." I said, and I'm sure that every word coming out of my mouth It's getting worse and worse.

"Right " He said, and I felt something strange inside me when he sighed after speaking.

Phil seems very committed to his work, he always comes to ask me if I need anything, even if there are several people around. It's very admirable.

He's about to lift his hand from the table and walk away, but I don't want him to. There's no one else here, and a force that I hadn't felt all month pulls my hand, tugging at the sleeve of his white shirt, back to the table.

I turn to look at him, and that momentary force leaves my body.

"Yes?" He asks with a lopsided smile that suits him torturously well.

My eyes sink to the ground. I can only see his shoes and mine.

"Uh could you...uhm" I'm sure I must look like an elf, with my ears burning from the amount of embarrassment I feel. "Can I have your number?" Somehow, that sentence came out in full.

"I already gave it to you."

"WHAT?" I shout. Because there's no other way to express what was going through my head at that moment. I'm trying and searching through hundreds of memories if that ever happened and I have nothing...

"You threw it in the trash, I thought you had rejected me and now you were just giving me confusing signals." Well, with that, I raised my head, he still looked calm, only with a hint of blush almost imperceptible on his cheeks.

"Who was giving confusing signals to who?" My brain was melted, or maybe I was swapped in the middle of the night into someone else's life because all those things he says don't make sense. "Me rejecting you? I'm not insane."

He laughs, and I feel the atmosphere lighten. "Well, you did it." He speaks through clenched teeth, holding back laughter. "When you were with your friend, I gave it to you on the back of the receipt and you threw it in the trash."

«Idiot, idiot, idiot, WHY DIDN'T I SEE THE BACK?»

"I... I didn't see it." His hand goes to my cheek, and his face begins to approach.

«Am I dreaming?» I'm completely paralyzed.

He lightly taps his forehead against mine and then takes a few steps back, but I stand up so we're still close. He takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine.

"Dumb" He says to me in that charming tone of voice that I'm sure I'll never get tired of.

#deathduo #qsmp #qsmp missa #qsmp philza

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