#oh yeah Crocker

[fazcinatingblog]

Am I a bad person if I go to Arden Street to see Trent instead of windy Hill to see Collingwood vflm

[makiruz]

But seriously, Denzel Crocker didn't have a father so Cosmo was his only father figure, and both the show and the fandom expect me to just accept that Cosmo didn't love him as much as he went to love Timmy and not feel about him? Specially since Timmy is the reason Denzel lost his godparents prematurely and was permanently traumatized and disfigured?

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Jane: While I can’t in good conscience recommend it watching, SPN does in fact unlock both the biggest part of the map on ao3 and the funniest part of the map on tumblr

[iknaenmal]

GASP ok wait ive always been curious . jane lalonde ? or something like that....

THE

[heirofnepeta]

jane doodle !!

[amyfevernight]

stuff about the nick odyssey gang? you bet

more details:

-Denzel's cult- i mean "club" is known as The Scarlet Kraken Solstice. Their god- i mean "idol" is of course, The Scarlet Kraken. Plankton knows who the Scarlet Kraken is and is deathly fearful of him so he pretty much steps in to stop Denzel and Vlad when they try to recruit someone into the "club".

-Dib's dog and bird? They're Gaz and Zim under a curse.

[steddielations]

Steve walks into utter chaos.

He was stopping by just to see Max, but all the increasingly concerning noise coming from the Munson’s trailer drew him over there instead. Worried that all the cursing and clattering would drown out any chance of a knock being heard, Steve lets himself in. 

Eddie doesn’t even notice him come inside, too busy scrambling around the complete wreck of a kitchen.

“Dude, are you cooking or just banging pots and pans together? I thought you were dying in here.”

Eddie squawks and jumps about a foot in the air. His hair is even more disheveled than usual, barely tied down with a bandana. He’s got flour splotches on his face and all over the frilly grandma apron he’s wearing (which Steve is definitely getting a photo of and showing Dustin later) along with a suspiciously sticky goo on his fingers.

“Stop laughing at me,” Eddie groans. 

“I’m not laughing,” Steve laughs, going to join him in the kitchen, “What are you doing, man?” 

“Well, I’m trying to bake Wayne a cake, but at this point, I might as well give him a frosting covered rock for his birthday,” Eddie sighs, frustrated hands scrubbing the flour off his apron, “I don’t know, man, usually I just get him another mug and a pack of smokes, and he’s never asked me for anything, but I’ve put him through hell this year I just wanted— I don’t know like, to do something special but I can’t even—”

“Alright, take it off.”

Steve folds his arms and waits while Eddie just gawks at him for a moment, cheeks reddening under the patches of flour.

“What?”

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

Eddie scoffs, starts muttering like he does when he’s nervous and Steve cracks a smile when he realizes why.

“The apron, Eddie,” he gestures, “Hand it over.” 

Another moment of confused staring and Eddie slowly gives it to him.

Steve wastes no time shaking out the flour and tying it around himself. He moves past Eddie, gets right to work clearing the mess and salvaging what ingredients he can.

“You…” Eddie peeks over Steve’s shoulder, “You know how to bake?”

“I can make a cake,” Steve shrugs, “Robin obsesses over shit sometimes, calls them her “little brain worms” or whatever. She couldn’t stop thinking about this cake she swore she had for her 5th birthday but couldn’t remember the flavor. So we made every cake recipe in her mom’s cookbook until we found the right one.”

“So Harrington’s got a secret Betty Crocker power-up, impressive.”

“Nah, just small stuff. I help Claudia with Dustin’s birthday cakes. Little shit is very particular about his red velvet.” 

Eddie snorts and Steve waves him over to start washing the dishes. He does so with a small salute that smears more flour on his forehead. The word cute comes to Steve’s mind but he just rolls his eyes. 

“So you dusted off your oven mitts for little old me, hm? I’m flattered.”

“Only because I like Wayne and I’d prefer if you didn’t give him food poisoning,” Steve teases, dumping out Eddie’s abomination of batter into the trash. Though he softens when he sees the way Eddie winces at it. “And I think it’s nice, you know, you doing this for him. I wanna help.”

Eddie clearly holds back a smile, looking down at the bubbles in the sink, and the cute word comes back to Steve’s mind.

“Okay well, take it easy on me. Not everyone has a bunch of mom friends teaching them to bake.” 

“Oh yeah, then where’d you get this grandma apron? You just had this little number in the closet with your leather and chains?”

“No, it’s Mrs. Bennet’s and she’s not my friend,” Eddie bristles and Steve senses a hell of a backstory there, “I stole it off her clothesline.” 

Steve laughs and makes Eddie tell him the whole story, all the inner workings of Forest Hills feuds. It’s nice, Steve’s been spending more time here since everything, listening to Eddie’s stories and sharing his own. It’s easy to be around Eddie, even though that pesky word won’t get out of Steve’s head.

Once the batter is finished, Steve dips a finger in to test.

“How does it taste?” Eddie asks, “Better than mine I hope.”

Steve hums around his finger, “So good, here taste,” he meant to slide Eddie the bowl, but the wires must’ve gotten crossed somewhere, because now he’s holding out a dollop of cake batter on the tip of his finger to Eddie’s mouth. 

They both look down at it, then at each other again. Steve knows he should apologize, drop his hand and say it was a mistake but there’s something about the way Eddie’s looking at him, the way he subtly licks his lips is almost like— He wants this. 

So Steve lets him have it.

Eddie leans in, keeps his hands at his sides and slowly guides himself down on Steve’s finger. His eyes fall shut as his mouth closes around it, like it’s too much, watching Steve watching him. It’s a lot for Steve too, the wet warmth of Eddie’s mouth, one swirl of his tongue almost makes Steve’s knees buckle. 

Something comes over him, he presses his finger down just slightly, feeling Eddie’s tongue curl around the tip. It elicits a soft noise from Eddie that sends heat thrumming all through Steve. Eddie’s eyes flutter open, brows turned upwards and mouth in a plush little O around Steve’s finger, looking up at him through dark lashes, a dot of flour on his nose. The sight makes Steve’s breath catch in his throat. It’s fucking cute and hot.

Steve has to swallow his own noise when Eddie pulls off. 

“Yeah,” he breathes out, a slight grin on his lips, “Really good.” 

Steve’s about to do something crazy, put his finger back in Eddie’s mouth, maybe more than one this time, or just his lips on Eddie's, maybe even slip his tongue inside instead of his fingers, lick all that sweetness away until he just tastes Eddie, something— but a sudden loud knock on the door has him dropping his hand like it’s made of cement.

It’s Max, wanting to know why Steve ditched her for Eddie. She comes inside to ‘help’ which means she leans against the counter, talks about her day, complains, teases Steve and makes fun of Eddie for being demoted to dish duty. 

Steve puts the cake in the oven and focuses on cleaning and composing himself. He can feel Eddie trying to meet his gaze, trying to see if Steve's going to freak out on him after that. Once Steve can look at him without feeling like he’s going to burst into flames, he gives Eddie a small reassuring smile, even throws him a wink when Max isn’t looking. Eddie gives him a smile back.

And later, after Wayne comes home and they sing happy birthday and eat the cake that Steve insists Eddie helped him with— Just the tasting part, Steve says and revels in how Eddie covers a blush with his hair— and after they walk Max home, Steve pulls Eddie behind the trailer and kisses him until he doesn’t taste like cake anymore.

for the prompts "You heard me. Take. It. Off." and "Stop laughing at me" for @highkingpenny and anon, thank you and I hope you enjoy this!!

[darlingsfandom]

Don’t you trust your neighbor ?

Jackson Rippner x neighbor reader!

TW: Degradation, humiliation , swearing, p in v unprotected , possession , male orgasm, slight bondage !

“Oh fuck me!” You cried out as you dropped your keys on the sidewalk. Today has been the day from hell. You woke up late which meant you were late for work, you forgot lunch so picked something up and of course it was burnt, you spilled your drink on your clothes, the printer in the office ran out of ink and you needed your papers printed but nothing was done! On the way home you got cut off in traffic and were done! You just wanted to be home.

And here you were standing there looking at the ground with a look of defeat. When you bent down to pick up your keys a loud rip rang in your ears . “WHAT THE FUCK!” You screamed as your blood boiled.

“Well from here it’s a nice view.” You quickly turned around to see your neighbor Jackson standing there with a smirk on his lips and his mail in his hands.

“Not now Jackson! It’s been a day and if murder wasn’t illegal …” His laugh caught you off guard.

“Oh sweetheart, you couldn’t hurt a fly. Yeah you’re having a bad day and loosing your temper but you’re such a sweetheart.” He was face to face with you before he grabbed your keys off the ground. As he looked up he took a peek up your ripped skirt and bit his lip.

“But tell me this … why are your panties wet? I seen that little spot. It’s cute actually.” His tongue wiped across his lips making you straighten up. You turned on your heel and quickly walked up to your porch but he still had your keys. You sighed and turned only for Jackson to be right there. He seemed different. “Can’t get very far now can you? How fucking stupid are you huh?” You swallowed the lump in your throat as he stood chest to chest with you while unlocking your front door. He shoved you inside and slammed the door shut behind him as you walked backwards until you were against the wall.

Both of you stood in silence until he reached forward and gripped your arms. “You never answered my question ? How stupid are you huh? Couldn’t get yourself to work on time, can’t drive on the free way, dropping your keys… god you have to be the dumbest brat I’ve ever seen.” Jackson pulled you away from the wall before putting you on your knees. You looked at him with pleading eyes. You went from pissed off at the universe to fearing for your life. Yes you found Jackson attractive , yes you’ve had dinners with him and shared a few kisses but never more than that.

“What’s the matter honey? Don’t you trust your neighbor ? I was just trying to help you. You fucking ripped your skirt and flashed everyone those panties just like desperate slut you are. About gave Mr.Johnson a heart attack! Poor old man, I’m sure you’d fuck him too because you’re just so needy for cock!” He stroked your hair in a loving manner while talking down to you leaving you confused and needy. Jackson pulled on your hair making your head go back until your mouth hung open he leaned down and spit in your mouth making you whine which was music to his ears. He smirked at your reaction.

“You enjoyed that, don’t deny it you fucking whore.” He spat in your mouth again before giving you a slap across the face. Jackson reached down and ripped open your blouse making buttons fly across the room before he pulled you back to your feet , grabbed your hands and took you into your room. He pushed you onto your bed and straddled your hips as he took his belt off before tying your hands together with it. You cried off your eyeliner and your lip stick was smeared from his kisses.

“See I knew you were a good little slut, but just for me! You’re mine! You’ve been mine! Ever since we met I knew I had to make you mine. When you moved in and were tying to be Miss Little Betty Crocker and brought those cookies as a way to introduce yourself… wearing that little dress with the cherries on it… you were begging me to fuck you! But I’m a gentleman couldn’t fuck you then. Now , now I’m tired of the games! You are mine you dumb little bitch! SAY IT!” He screamed at you while slapping your tits as your hands stayed tied above your head.

All you could do was sob. Jackson slapped you harder making you jolt forward. “say you’re mine!” He squeezed your cheeks together making you look at him with your bloodshot eyes. Your lips parted chocking on your saliva before the words finally came out.

“I’m yours Jackson. I’m yours.” You whimpered and wiggled below him . Jackson stood up and stared at you before dropping his pants. You watched as he pulled out his cock and when it sprang up your jaw dropped .

“Dumb cock whore.” He yanked you by your ankles before climbing back on top of you. His fingers hooked into your panties and ripped them off. He took a sniff before looking at you. “Smells so sweet for being such a needy whore.” He tossed the fabric over his shoulder before lining the head of his aching cock against your folds.

“Jackson!!” You cried out as he inched his cock into your wet cunt.

“That’s it baby, scream my name.” His hands held your arms down as he pulled back out before quickly slamming his hips back down and shoving his cock into you. You closed your eyes but he didn’t like that. Jackson grabbed a fist full of your hair and bent you forward to look down and watch his cock fuck you hard! You whined in pain from the position he had you in. Jackson used you as his little fuck toy. He was whimpering your name as your cunt squeezed his cock. You tried to look away again but he wouldn’t allow it. Jackson pounded into like his life was going to end tomorrow. He started to slow do when he felt his orgasm building.

“Gonna put a baby in you! Yeah! Gonna make sure everyone knows that you belong to me! You’re my dumb slut who can’t keep her legs closed which is why she’s pregnant with her neighbors baby!!” He squeezed your arms as his hips started to slow down.

“Please no! Jackson !” You cried out as he filled you up with his warm seed. You collapsed when he let go of you. Jackson pulled out and took some of the cum dripping out of your pussy and flung it on to your face. You gasped at the feeling making him chuckle.

“Don’t worry honey….” He stoped closer to you before brushing his lips against yours. “The night is still young, you’ll get more than you bargained for .”

[superdorkcat]

Found throughout European folklore, a changeling is a substitute left when a human child has been kidnapped by a supernatural being, commonly a fairy. However, nothing is said of when a child willingly goes to the world of fairies.

-------------

Timmy Turner is an average kid that no one understands… who lives in Dimmadelphia instead of Dimmsdale. This leaves him without the support network of AJ and Chester but with a teacher and a babysitter just as bad as Crocker and Vicky, as well as parents whose actions aren’t played for laughs like on the show.

Chloe Carmichael (who’s here both because Timmy deserves a sister and because I CAN FIX HER DAMMIT) has the opposite problem. Stuck in the shadow of her absentee activist parents, every ounce of her self-esteem is derived from helping others, which has resulted in her becoming consumed by toxic perfectionism. She’s constantly held up as an ideal child by adults who see her as nothing more than a pawn, alienating her from her peers. She may look like a little miss perfect, but in reality she’s completely alone.

Enter Cosmo and Wanda. Unlike canon, each fairy is assigned a specific godkid regardless of marital status. Meaning that Wanda is assigned as Timmy’s fairy godmother to give him the structure he needs while Cosmo becomes Chloe’s fairy godfather and helps her learn to accept making mistakes. Due to living in the same city and having fairy godparents who are a married couple, Timmy and Chloe quickly become friends. And then they find out that, after they grow up, they’ll never see Cosmo and Wanda again and won’t even have the memory to mourn their loss. So they do what any pair of broken, desperate children with the ability to make anything they wish for come true do - they wish that Cosmo and Wanda were their parents.

This wish has the unforeseen effect of making them changelings, children in a transitory state between human and fairy. Of course, the fact that fairy godparents go to miserable kids means that Timmy and Chloe aren’t the only ones that have wished for their fairies to become their parents. There’s also Remy (because of course the kid used to getting everything he wants would jump at ensuring he’ll never lose the only person who ever gave a damn about him), Molly and Dwight (the two kids who got sent to the Wishing Well with Timmy in the show), and maaaaybe a reworked version of Winston (Jorgen’s godkid in the Oh Yeah! era).

Now, the kids are enrolled in Abra Prepdabra’s designated but not always used Changeling Class in order to learn how to control their developing powers while also finding out just what trading the normal world for the magical world entails.

I could go on, but I'm gonna leave it here for now. I'm calling this the "Changeling Effect AU".

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Thunder In Our Hearts: You're Losing Me

Summary: A few short weeks before their first holiday together, the reader finds Ben slipping into his old ways...

Masterlist

Pairing: Soldier Boy x reader

Word Count: 2,600ish

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

A/N: This takes place within Part 9 of Thunder In Our Hearts. Enjoy! 😉

_______

You hummed as you stirred the ingredients in the Dutch oven on the cold December day. Things with Ben had been good lately. It’d been about four months since you’d both stopped hunting down people, trying to hide him from the CIA. You simply…were.

For Ben, that meant a whole lot of learning still. He’d been out of the box for a little over six months now and had picked up a few things. He even had his own SUV now for getting around. He understood how to use the TV and get to streaming apps along with some basic use of the internet and a smart phone.

And he prided himself on how well he could cook a full breakfast for you both. You’d even got a smirk out of him when you called him your own Betty Crocker.

But there was still a lot to learn and it wore on him some days. Unfortunately, it seemed like today was going to be one of them.

“Jesus Christ,” groaned Ben, stepping into the house, shrugging out of his winter jacket. He kicked off his boots and left them in the middle of the floor, all while shaking his head. “Your generation is full of fucking pussies, baby. No wonder this country has gone to shit.”

You tore your eyes away from the soup on the stove, annoyance prickling your skin. Yeah, it was definitely one of those days. 

“The fucking child working the counter at the auto store didn’t know two shits about the oil I was looking for. Literally the twats only fucking job,” he grumbled, walking into the kitchen and washing up his hands. You tried to let it go. He was allowed to get irritated as much as you were. 

You set the spoon on the rest next to the stove and put the lid back on top, the stew having a few hours to go still.

“And then at the dealership where I had to go to get the stupid shit, there was, I swear to God, some kid that had to be thirty fucking years old was buying a car with his dad. These little shits don’t know to wipe their own asses.”

You rolled your eyes behind his back and left the kitchen, Ben inhaling sharply, lifting the lid up. He licked his lips and set it back down, either ignoring or not picking up on your own growing annoyance. You sat down on the end of the couch, Ben leaning over the back, strong hands on your shoulders.

“And why the hell is everyone obsessed with these fucking frilly decorations for Chirstmas? It’s fucking stupid. If people want shit they should buy it. End of discussion. Lame ass holiday anyway.” 

He squeezed your shoulders gently, leaning down so his lips brushed against your ear. 

“You’re tense, baby. Let me help you relax.” Strong hands slid down over your shoulders, headed straight for your chest and you’d had enough. You faced him with a glare, Ben narrowing his eyes. “What’d I do?”

“You’re being an ass today. You’re acting like asshole Ben, the one I didn’t like, remember?” He scoffed, crossing his arms. “All you have done today is complain about other people, leave the house a mess, hell you even got something against Christmas. It’s fucking Christmas, Ben! No one in the world, even the most redneck backwoods hillbilly, has anything against a strand of fucking white lights. Frilly? Oh come on.”

“First off, they are fucking frilly,” he spat back as you headed for the foyer. “What’s wrong with not liking a stupid ass holiday?”

“Nothing! Hate Christmas for all I care! Plenty of people do. But don’t put it down because of lights or trees or presents. Hate it because your family sucks or whatever. Not because it’s not manly enough for you.”

“Oh fuck you,” he said, getting in your face, leering down at you with a certain visceral that reminded you of your first argument. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Don’t hate everything that’s not part of your toxic masculinity!” His eye twitched and you looked away, past him out the patio door. “For three weeks you’ve been acting more and more like an asshole. I know this is hard for you. I know learning is hard and learning to be accepting and even tolerant doesn’t happen overnight. But Benjamin, I told you once before. I will not live with a man that I’m afraid of. Do not become someone I am afraid of.”

“You have no idea how hard this is!” he shouted, so loud your body shook. You forced yourself to meet his angry gaze, fighting back wetness in your own. “I do everything for you! Every goddamn day I try for you! I’m sorry your worthless piece of shit boyfriend isn’t doing it fast enough for you!”

“I never called you that,” you said quietly, throat thick from fighting back the tears from falling. “Never. All I have ever asked of you is to try and you Ben, these past few weeks you aren’t trying. I am not giving up on you. All I’m asking is you to not give up on yourself. You’re worth it. But you have to want it too.”

“What I want is you to stop hounding me over every little thing every motherfucking day!” he shouted. You tore your gaze away and swallowed before heading for the door. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“For a drive,” you said, putting your boots on, taking your coat off the hook. “For the record, all I wanted to do today was make you homemade beef stew because you haven’t had it since you were a kid. Maybe, just maybe, decorate for Christmas because we both had shitty childhoods and maybe we could have made our own good traditions. But if you don’t want that, Ben, I won’t force that on you. I’m done. I’ll always love you but I don’t deserve to be screamed at for helping you, for still holding up my end of the deal.”

You ripped open the door and threw up your hood without looking back. 

It was close to eleven when you got home. You were tired and your stomach felt off from your makeshift dinner of a greasy burger and fries. Least of all did you want another fight with Ben tonight. You just didn’t have the energy for it.

You sighed as you pushed open the door, catching sight of him out of the corner of your eye. Great. But you cut off your own thoughts as your eyes took in the room, darting through the family room and over to the kitchen and dining room. 

Hundreds of small lights filled the house. Draped on the wall. Wrapped around the decorated tree in the corner. Over the mantle where two stockings hung.

You knew you were standing there with your mouth open, letting the cold air inside behind you. Ben walked around the couch and shut the door, all while staring at you. He flickered his own gaze down and you caught his shirt wasn’t his usual thermals or t-shirts.

He had on a fucking Grinch sweater. A fucking Grinch sweater.

Your eyes flirted back to his, worried green ones meeting them. His lips parted, words caught in his throat. He swallowed, taking both your hands in his.

“You deserve a better life than this.” He lowered his head. “Than me. But you won’t leave me alone unless I make you go which is what I’ve been doing. I don’t want you to have to teach me everything. You’re wasting away your life on me. I’m not good. No matter what I do, I’ll never be good. I’m always the villian. I want better for you than me.”

You stared at the Grinch on his sweater, at the comically large yellow eyes, the curl of green on top of his head. 

“Y/N. Say something. Do something.” You lifted your gaze, his head turned cautiously up, waiting for a response. You stepped closer to him, Ben ripping his gaze away, like you’d burn him.

“Don’t you ignore me.” His head turned back, dropping your hands when you pulled them away. “Why did you do all this if you want me to go?”

“I never said I wanted you to go,” he whispered, cracking a sad smile. “I told you. I want you to want someone better than me.”

“Why did you do all of this?” you asked again, Ben closing his eyes, bottom lip trembling for a split second.

“Because…” he said, scrunching up his face, forcing himself to look you in the eye. “Because you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Because you deserve better but I’m the bad guy and I can’t survive without you. Because you’re my girl. Because I like these fucking frilly lights even though I’m the Grinch. That guy was an asshole too until someone gave him a chance. Give me one more chance. Let me be selfish. Don’t let me lose you.”

“I…” you said, Ben nodding once and lowering his head. You ripped off your jacket and boots, Ben barely lifting his chin as you cupped his cheeks. “I’m so proud of you.”

Confusion crossed his face as you smiled, wiping away a single tear that slipped free. “Why? I fucked everything up.”

“We still have to work on that self-worth I see,” you said, gently stroking over his cheek. “Benjamin. I love you and I’ll never give up on you. If you want better for me then you become that man because I picked you. I see you becoming him more and more everyday. But this Ben? The one right in front of me? I don’t love him any less than that other man.”

“I was an ass on purpose. I scared you,” he said. “You should-”

“No, you didn’t. But you needed a wakeup call because baby, I know you. I know you want me to hate you some days because you hate yourself. I know you think you trapped me. But you saved me, Soldier Boy. I need you to remember I’m here because with you is exactly where I want to be.”

He closed his eyes, an argument on the tip of his tongue. But he surprised you. 

“I just want you to be happy,” he whispered. You kissed his cheek and then his lips, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

“I am. You’re my happy place.”

“Oh god that’s sad,” he half-laughed, resting his head on your shoulder. “I don’t think I’ve earned that.”

“Tell that to the guy who decorated the whole house with the frilly little lights,” you said, Ben chuckling. “If you want to leave me Ben you can but never do that again.”

“I promise and that’s not happening,” he said. He hugged you gently, the room quiet for a beat and then another. “I saved your stew. Maybe we can have it for lunch tomorrow?”

“Sounds good,” you said, enjoying the warmth of him around you. “Was today as bad as you said it was?”

“No. But I know how to make you think less of me,” he said, pulling back. “You should still be upset with me.”

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “We’re not doing that. I know what I want and that’s for you to feel like you can talk to me when you start feeling bad. Please.”

“I’ll try,” he offered and you nodded, knowing that was all he could promise right now. You rested your head against his chest and breathed slowly, his heart thudding away strong and steady. “No.”

You frowned and looked at him, Ben raising his chin, nodding to himself. “No?”

“I won’t try. I’ll do it. No more trying. I will be better. End of story. I’m going to give you what you deserve.” 

“Someday I hope you can see how fucking far you’ve come,” you said, Ben shrugging. “Come on. Let’s head to bed. I’m exhausted.”

“Ben,” you said the next morning as you lay curled up in his side. He traced his fingers up and down your arm, offering you a sleepy smile. “Can I give you a Christmas present early?”

“Eh, after yesterday I think I’m on the naughty list,” he said, catching the frown on your face. “Sorry. Working on the self-worth thing. So uh, I guess sure?”

You took his hand and slid it under your shirt over your belly, his eyes narrowing. “Listen.”

He closed his eyes, sliding his hand down slightly. He swallowed once, eyes flashing open. He stared at your stomach for a solid ten seconds before finding your face, lips parting.

“There’s another heartbeat inside of you,” he whispered. “Two more.”

“I know,” you said softly, placing your hand over his. “I found out yesterday morning. I went to the doctor while I was out. I’m eight weeks.”

“Twins?” You smiled and nodded, Ben’s hand still on you. “And they’re mine?”

“Of course they’re yours,” you laughed, Ben swallowing thickly. “Ben. It’s going to be okay. I’m scared too but excited. We-”

“I-Is it a boy? Are they boys?” he asked. You smiled and touched your forehead to his. “Can you know that before?”

“Nowadays yeah, but it’s a little too early to find that out,” you said, his breath hitching. “Do you…want boys?”

“No. No, I don’t want boys,” he said, suddenly jumping out of bed, hands going to his thighs as he leaned over and made a wincing sound. “You have to leave.”

“Excuse me?” you asked, sitting upright. Ben turned around, crossing his arms over his bare chest. 

“I should not be anyone’s father. I-I’m going to fuck these kids up. I can’t…Jesus Y/N. I’m going to lose my temper and hurt them. Or I’ll be awful and raise them wrong. I can’t ruin their lives. I-I can’t be my father. I can’t-” You put his hand back on your stomach, Ben’s chest rising and falling quickly.

“You guys are going to have the best daddy in the world if he loves you this much already,” you said. Ben wanted to argue more but you shushed him. “Whatever they are, they’re going to be just fine.”

“How do you know that?” he whispered.

“Because we know everything not to do.” He thumbed over your skin, spreading his palm out wide. “I have to ask you to try for me one more time, Ben. Try to believe you’ll be good at this.”

He closed his eyes, a tiny smile crawling onto his lips. “If you’d asked me a year ago, I’d have told you I’d be a perfect father. Now…I know I would have destroyed them, made them awful little people like me.”

“Please stop saying things like that,” you whispered. He nodded, touching his forehead to yours. 

“If you taught me, I guess these two will be alright. But I have to learn faster. I need to…shit I don’t know anything about babies. How much do they eat? What do they eat? And what the hell do babies wear nowadays? And-”

“Shush,” you murmured, smiling to yourself. “Calm down, super dad. We get to learn this together. Okay?”

“Okay.” Ben’s breathing slowed, his gaze flickering down between you, staring at his hand with a goofy little look. You almost teased him about looking happy for the first time but held back the comment. Whatever was going on in his head right now was healing him, even if it was ever so miniscule. 

And that was the best gift he ever could have given you.

“Merry Christmas Ben.”

“Merry Christmas, baby…and babies,” he chuckled, kissing the top of your head. “Thank you. All of you.”

_________

[nintendont2502]

cant find the original post but a while ago i impulsively decided to add all 32 sburb players (betas, alphas, alternians *and* beforans) to a random name generator and then randomly mix them up - characters kept their original first name and class, and took on the last name and aspect of whatever character they took the role of. this was just meant to be a funny 1am experiment so i could laugh at the cursed results

...yeah it has lore now. i cant stop thinking about it. help.

Beta Kids:

Gamz Egbert (Gamzee) - Bard of Breath. One of the most chill guys ever. Constantly zoned the hell out. Loves clowns :0) him and his dad bond over it. Hangs out with Kari a lot over vc, where it's basically just Kari talking at him uninterrupted (the kid needs it sometimes)

Kari Strider (Kankri) - Seer of Time. Gifted kid and he won't let you forget it. Permanently lives in a sweater vest even though he literally lives in Texas. Constantly annoyed by how childish and immature his older brother is. Lectures him a lot. Lectures his friends a lot. Has 'visions of his past lives' (aka occasional memories from his post-scratch/alternate timeline counterparts). Lectures his friends about how theyre real and valid whenever they make give him shit for it (which happens a lot). Dedicated pacifist - for now, anyway.

John Lalonde - Heir of Light. Golden child. Has an over-bearing mother that constantly pushes him into learning instruments/lanugages/skills, participating in competitions and events, winning award after award. Sure, he's... kinda sick of doing things all day every day, and he doesn't really want to do any of this, but... shouldn't he do it anyway? Even if just for his Mom? Hell, he can't really complain about it, right? He has such a good life! He goes horseback riding every sunday! Sure, it sucks that he doesn't have any free time that isn't controlled by his mother, but he can deal with it. It's fine.

(Things get even worse during the three year trip when Wuh Oh! Gender crisis time! Except he can’t be a girl because he was always meant to be his mom’s perfect son, and he’s already let her down once by letting her die, right? He can just… live with this. Its fine. It's not that bad. It's for her, after all.)

Roxy Harley - Rogue of Space. Grew up living on a small island somewhere in the Pacific that her grandfather 'won in a poker game' (aka probably scammed someone out of, knowing him) - or so he says, anyway. He also used to say he got Roxy the same way every time she asked where she came from! Haha very funny Roxy definitely loved hearing that and not a real response every time she asked where she came from and why she didn’t have any parents. That was great. Her grandfather died when she was fairly young, leaving her alone on the island with nothing left of him but the small inventions he left around the place to make life easier for her. She grows up learning how to maintain them, and although she tries becoming a great inventor like her grandfather, she just... doesn't have the skill. Hacking, on the other hand - shes great at that shit! She finally cracks her final goal - cracking into her grandfathers servers - just before her friend Gamz's 13th birthday, finding mostly boring shit - expenses, customer complaints, legal threats, budgets, etc. What's mildly more interesting to her, however, is the insane amount of money (if they lived on the mainland, they'd be fucking LOADED), and a .exe file for a really cool looking game, with a note from her grandfather congratulating her on finally getting in. And hey, would you look at that? Its multiplayer! And all her friends are free - even John, who through sheer coincidence found himself with a free weekend after his tutors came down with various mysterious illnesses and injuries. It's like the universe wants them to play the game or some shit! Haha wild

Alpha Kids:

Raph Crocker (Rufioh) - Rogue of Life. The living embodiment of all those business major memes. Dude is *dedicated* to the Crockercorp brand - he's determined that one day, he'll climb the ranks and become head of the company, and hopefully lead it just as well as his great-grandfather did. He unironically wears a suit everywhere, and seems committed to sounding like a 50 year old boardroom exec trapped in the body of a 16 year old - although it isn't hard to get him to crack. As much as he pretends he has no patience for his online friends and their constant stories of 'living on a remote island' or 'living in the post-apocalyptic future' (seriously guys, he isn't that gullible), he does genuinely care about them. Besides, when you're stuck in the house all day, there isn't much else to do.

Tuna Strider (Mituna) - Heir of Heart. Trans king. Exudes pure 'disney channel older brother' energy. Shithead (affectionate). Looks up to his Bro, a famous pacifist who resisted the Batterwitch's rule with a global peaceful protest... only to be killed the moment he became too much of a threat. Yyeah. Tuna has... some thoughts about how that should have gone down - most of them involving swords. Or guns. Or both. Maybe if his Bro had a sweet katana, the world wouldn't have been flooded! Although it's too late for his Bro, Tuna has decided to take up the fight in his stead by creating his own 'sick as fuck gun-sword' with whatever scrap metal he can find in the apartment (his Bro, for some reason, didn't think to leave him any useable weapons. cringe). He's got the sword part down great, but the gun... not so much.

Vris Lalonde (Vriska) - Thief of Void. The second half of the 't4t post apocalypse chaos squad', as Tuna calls them. Girl doxxes people for fun - what are they gonna do? Doxx her back? lmao good luck with that losers - closest youre gonna get is still 400 years off. Constantly daring her friends to do stupid shit and quote, 'stop being so fucking boringggg'. it usually works on tuna. sometimes on dave. she still hasnt gotten raph yet, but *one day*...

Dave English - Knight of Hope. smooth talking mile a minute inventor who *loves* trying to 'pitch' his latest invention to his friends. its become almost a game to them, where theyll take turns bidding increasingly ridiculous amounts for an umbrella that shoots seeds ('for easy planting in the rain yknow') or a beat-boxing robot ('i dont even need to explain this one just look at it man. cool as shit'). hell, even raph gets involved sometimes, usually turning it into a shark tank style negotiation. dave swears hes keeping a tally of how much everyone 'owes' him, and claims that one day hes settling that bill. his inventions are genuinely pretty impressive, especially considering his limited resources - being stuck alone on a remote island makes sourcing parts pretty hard. he probably wouldnt even need to jokingly scam his friends in order to jokingly sell his inventions - they jokingly sell themselves. he just thinks scamming people is fun.

Alternia Rapid Fire Round lets goo

Cronus Megido - Bard of Time. relentlessly flirts with anyone of a higher caste than him in the hopes that, if he can get into a quadrant with them, he'll have more protection than he would as just a solo rustblood. this strategy ultimately fails when he flirts with a particular Serket one too many times and gets killed for it. damn. oh well.

Sollux Nitram - so so tired of everyones shit. the only person that actually vaguely got along with Cronus (because he was the only person that Cronus didn't flirt with). just wants to play his pokemon in peace man stop dragging him into drama

Damara Captor - Witch of Doom. 'curses' people. seems weirdly unsurprised when those curses actually work. after cronus' death, a rumour went around that she was the one who caused it, and she absolutely wasnt denying that shit - now no one wants to fuck with her, and those that do? well, she still has her psiionics.

Meulin Vantas - Mage of Blood. Basically the only fucking thing holding this friendship group together. Despite all the complicated as shit relationships - the friendships, the exes, the mortal enemies, the attempted (and successful) murders - Meulin somehow manages to navigate the web of relationships and keep everyone relatively stable

Jaydee Leijon (Jade) - Witch of Heart. catgirl :33. Wishes she lived closer to everyone so she could see them 33: especially her moirail!! at least she still has her lusus to playfight with

Karkat Maryam - Knight of Space. basically a tboy vampire. Used to live in the caverns, but after he realised he was a dude, he began to feel uncomfortable with how oppressive and 'feminine' the caverns were. ran away. struggles with his identity - the contrast between the typical female jadeblood standards of being caring and nurturing, and the typical alternian female standards of being violent and aggressive, leave him stuck in the middle, unsure of what to do or who hes 'allowed' to be. swings wildly between being aggressive and letting himself care about his friends. he eventually figures out that gender stereotypes are bullshit and he can care abt his friends and still be a dude. hes still an asshole though <3

Eridan Pyrope - Prince of Mind. Incredibly committed to a strict moral code - which... no one can figure out. it seems to vary wildly depending on what suits him best at the specific moment. Used to roam Alternia looking for 'criminals' to 'improve' or, if that failed, 'bring to justice' with one Serket, but after an incident involving the loss of three eyes and one arm... they arent exactly on speaking terms.

Dyrrhk Serket (Dirk) - Prince of Light. i dont know how else to say it this mfer makes saw traps. he claims its to 'improve' people - by putting them through some specific trap, it... fixes a percieved issue? even if its an issue only he can see. and if they die in the trap? well, they should have just tried harder right. they probably deserved it. he isnt even doing this out of a desire to hurt people hes *genuinely* convinced that what hes doing is helping, and thinks that this is the best way to go about it. puts eridan through one one day, resulting in the loss of his vision, and after he (finally) figured out that 'huh maybe that wasnt a good idea', he... apologises. lmao just kidding that would be too reasonable - instead he mind controls one of his friends into putting *dyrrhk* into a trap of his own design, resulting in the loss of an eye and an arm. he seems genuinely convinced that this should make them even. everythings fine now, right? he scares me just on a conceptual level

Tavros Zahhak - Page of Void. hes basically a himbo im ngl. hes tall hes ripped hes clumsy and he cant help but draw attention to himself wherever he goes - attention he *hates*. moirails with jaydee. theyre cute <>

Latula Makara - Knight of Rage. clown... despite the usual purpleblood stereotypes, she doesnt really get angry all that often - most of the time, shes just vibing. but when she *does* get angry? its always for a reason. theres always a specific goal shes fulfilling through that anger (even if its just intimidating someone into doing something). i have the least thoughts about her but shes interesting

Jaiikk Ampora (Jake) - Page of Hope. Just a funny lil guy that likes playing pirates :) all the lowbloods he roleplays with definitely want to be there and don't feel coerced by being 'asked' by a literal violetblood :)) if people die during his 'games' well that sucks but he cant exacly stop playing because of a few small accidents right? ..yyeah. hes incredibly ignorant of his position in society and how that effects other people, even if (especially if) those consequences are deadly for others. after a certain point its just easier to not know whats going on than to face all the damage youve caused right. claims he loves the ocean and dreams of living in the depths. never goes into the ocean. hes a weird guy

Equius Peixes - Heir of Life. Future heir to the Alternian throne. Determined to lead Alternia into a new era of strength, no matter the methods to get there. moirails with Jaiikk (which absolutely doesnt help the whole 'Jaiikk accidentally pressuring lowbloods into doing things for him' thing. bro has scary dog privileges with the future emperor looming behind him at all times)

Even faster Beforus speed round because you cant legally make me think about them for more than five seconds

Porrim Megido - Maid of Time

Feferi Nitram - Witch of Breath

Rose Captor - Seer of Doom

Nepeta Vantas - Rogue of Blood

Kurloz Leijon - Prince of Heart

Aradia Maryam - Mage of Space

Aranea Pyrope - Sylph of Mind

Kanaya Serket - Sylph of Light

Jane Zahhak - Maid of Void

Meenah Makara - Thief of Rage

Terezi Ampora - Seer of Hope

Horuss Peixes - Page of Life

[butchlesbiancosmo]

hot take but I think it’s kind of unfair that we saw cosmo and wanda’s marriage get butchered in later seasons of the og show and went “the writers messed up, that’s not what they’re really like” (which is true!!!), but then we saw the exact same thing happen to timmy’s parents and their affection for their son and instead went “oh fuck those guys, they were always like that” which is. not true?????

don’t get me wrong, those two are NOT winning any parents of the year awards, but they love timmy!!! they still did things with him for fun, like watching movies or going to amusement parks together!!! timmy made them an anniversary dinner in Apartnership!!! they beat the shit out of crocker for threatening him in Abracatastrophe! And speaking of which, the whole point of that movie was that timmy got fairy godparents in the first place because vicky LIED to them, convincing that timmy was happy and safe with her and that she would definitely record all the most precious moments of his life in their stead after they already spent the first 8 years doing only that!!! And the main conflict begins because timmy’s parents tell timmy white lies (which is bad) but they do it because they don’t want to hurt his feelings (which is good!)

there is LITERALLY a whole episode (the carnie one) where timmy runs away bc he thinks his parents don’t want him anymore, but the joke is that he misses the rest of the context where his parents feel the exact opposite!!! and they’re miserable the whole time he’s gone!! And then another where he wishes his parents cared less so he could do whatever he wanted and it NEARLY got him killed, which in turn is what reversed the wish because their love for him trumped the magic!!! Or the first Mighty Mom and Dynamo Dad episode where they gave up their powers bc they thought it would save Timmy’s life!!!!

And back to Vicky: in Channel Chasers, when they find out Vicky had lied to them all those years? That she was hurting timmy when they hired specifically to watch over him??? THEY KICK HER ASS TO THE CURB (and the only reason they don’t succeed is because timmy needs vicky around to keep his fairies)

They’re not perfect, (god, they are NOT perfect) but they love him!!! So much!!!! And this whole narrative that came later about thinking of timmy as a burden and ohhh why couldn’t he be a girl is just as bullshit as cosmo and wanda being a ball-and-chain marriage because that’s not how they’re really like!! And it’s made even WORSE by fanart/fanfiction where they start being verbally or even PHYSICALLY abusive to timmy because yeah they’re stupid but They Would Not Fucking Do That

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #5

They're so cute...

OH, she set them up!! Here we go!

Wanda making squeaky toy noises when Cosmo hugs her is all I've ever wanted.

"We're real, all right! ... Real fairies. Not real humans."

BUDAWHAAAAAAAA-? Thank you Cosmo for just confirming elastic skin, which has been one of the most important headcanons in my worldbuilding. I did not expect you to do that for me, but... thanks?

Pfft, Wanda changing her legs.

ERG??? Is that you?

Okay, there's that "We've been retired for 10k years" implied time travel bit; I think I remember that from the story bible + early convos with my friends, so at least I came prepared to expect that.

This is either time travel - which plays perfectly into my established "Cosmo ate a time key during dinosaur times and has been running around through time unsupervised for ages" headcanon anyway, LOL - or they're flat-out lying to Hazel, seeing as the audience already knows Timmy is confirmed as a recent godkid, so... Hm.

SLDKFJSD I love how the guy who accidentally sent his baby stroller down a steep hill is wearing a #1 Dad hat. "My expensive stroller! ... I mean, my baby!" - Yeah, we're still in FOP. All the parents are terrible here.

Setting her up as loving french fries and then turning her into a fly who found french fries was clever.

Cosmo once again being so close and yet so far to his mark. Good to see him back!

Me when I return my would-be murderer's daughter, who is a bug.

I AM SO GLAD that even in 10,000 years, Wanda's small talk skills have not improved far beyond "I'm Human McRealPerson" and "My husband is a grilled cheese sandwich" from back in the day, sdlkfj. That's my girl!

oh no, the Venus flytrap gift they brought over is about to go so wrong.

Yep, she's still goin'. Talking about the carwash.

GIRL check your fingers.

OH MY GOSSSSSSH, he's dressed for a classy party in Fairy culture. Cosmorella? We thought you were dead!!

... That's an ant? I would've guessed tick.

It's a guy ant? Buddy, are you sure you're supposed to be foraging?

Let's go!!

SDLKFJSDKLFJSLKJF noooo... No, no, no, no, no... Not the thing I use to symbolize memorials for the dead, c'mon!

It IS an accurate item for a Fairy house- these were all over the place in Fairy World during the old show, AND in that color, though you usually see more than one "wand" per pot.

I'm super impressed the artists studied the old interior design customs. Huh.

Cosmo lives here. Also, BABY!!

OOH, I'm excited that Cosmo and Wanda's window overlooks Fairy World because it's kind of a portal. I did something super similar with a rat cage in an upcoming Frayed Knots scene, where Anti-Cosmo and Wanda are godparenting together during school. Nifty!

He even confirmed it's a spell on the front door! Wow. Somehow, Past Me nailed that.

"We can choose which world we go out into!" -> /Me with my 'fic where Kevin Crocker is confused that Shirley's Pizza Parlor has an exit on the other side that goes to Retroville.

Cosmo: We lived in Timmy's fishbowl for 20 years. Wanda: It was 7.

You are both wrong- it was like 68 <3 But honestly, I forgive you for not wanting to tell Hazel time was frozen for 50 years. I don't think she'd like that. Actually, I don't think she was born yet, because my vision is time freezing at the end of Season 4, and Dale was rescued in Season 2, so... Yeah, she wasn't born. Still, you don't wanna just drop that on someone.

That's actually very funny that Cosmo and Wanda are struggling because they're out of practice during their retirement.

THERE'S THE SIGN!! Way to go.

Oh, and the credits are done in a similar style to the old ones? Even the colors? That's so cute! That's also nice that Hazel's VA was a story editor too- That probably helps with the passion and vision.

That was cute. I liked it. Huge relief to see something well-researched and made with love after "Fairly Odder" was a struggle for me.

I've got a little more time tonight, I might be able to get one more episode done before bedtime.

[malwaredykes]

honestly tbh leigh's relationship with the ncr is REALLY funny because. she hates them. she has 0 allegiance to them. she doesnt help THEM she resolves matters in ways that often happen to benefit them in some way or simply prevents needless loss of life, but it never is about them and aside from that shes always stealing, sabotaging, disrespecting them, turning people against them, encouraging members to desert, putting their legitimacy into question, especially the legitimacy of them being in the mojave in the first place, and exposing their ineffectiveness. she has 0 intention of venerating The Republic that she comes from. she thinks its hilarious that anyone should take that stuff seriously.

but she ends up being a celebrity to them. because crocker likes her despite everything, and hsu likes her, and because shes from new cali but important in the mojave, and because shes done stuff like calm things down in the freeside and help at refugee camps and retake nelson. which makes her even more of a problem in a way. if she were Only a nuisance thatd be one thing, theyd just put a bounty on her. but shes a celebrity. she has a status in new vegas and in the ncr. shes kind of untouchable. and her crimes and sabotage can never quite be proven. of course to the higher ups theres having proof and theres Knowing. shit only gets worse when she and her buddies storm the legion fort and kill caesar and free a bunch of slaves because like. this strengthens her vip status AND is absolute humiliation to the ncr. like they cant take the credit and instead they have to live with the fact that what a lot of them dismissed as some upstart with a bunch of clueless locals backing her did something they never couldve achieved. "oh this was pretty much an angry mob of townies and misfits" yeah and they got caesar in his own fortress. shes out there making the ncr look like shit and pointing people to seeing the ncr as the problem and yet she never does it in a way that she could be prosecuted for. by the time the ncr realizes shes a lot of trouble they also know they would lose a TREMENDOUS amount of support if they did something to her

like shes never openly hostile. she never provokes open hostility. shes not Openly Antagonistic to the ncr but its not exactly a secret shes got something planned and would like them to leave. young ncr recruits seeing her are like Omggg ma'am its an honor!!!! ^_^. there are officers and rangers whod be REALLY appalled if you said anything bad about her because Well she sure has done a lot more for us here on site than any of you government people. and that was her goal. that is the game shes playing. folks youll eventually realize its not the ncr that has done good in the mojave despite its flaws, but yours were the hands doing the work, and all the reasons one might consider ncr good or necessary are within you, Are you, the people who joined hoping theyd make a difference. folks youll realize that the ncr has to lie and obfuscate and make bullshit orders and directives to maintain claim over that good work and whitewash its own crimes. folks, i have this ex-ncr friend here. do you know what the ncr got him? complicity in atrocities (lyrical miracle), ptsd, apocalyptic thinking, countless biases to unpack, hopelessness, enemies where he shouldve made friends. and so on. and do you know what he got from *me*? a chance to actually do good. a chance to question those false beliefs of his. a friend. new opportunities. 40 rolls of duct tape. new rifle. lots and lots of soda. TWO toy trucks. and an apple. just ask him

[abundantchewtoys]

HS:BC re: p666.3

So, a new path has opened.

And oh man was it a good one.

Even if we never saw the conversations Vriska had with Eridan, John & Kanaya. Still good to know she resolved some of her feelings regarding them. As for what she ended up admitting to them, or what her issues really were towards them, we might still find out later.

I wonder how her epiphanies regarding Tavros & Eridan changed how she acted towards GCATavros & Erisol during her stay.

It's really surprising but heartwarming, seeing Vriska have such a good relationship with Nannasprite. I'm a bit curious to see more of Nannasprite 2, since she's the one that should be closest to Jade. But she's really developed a lot in this update!

Man, I hadn't even thought about the parallels between Dad Egbert & Tavros Crocker. But yeah, on the whole, Jane Egbert turned out a LOT better adjusted! Even after becoming a one-handed harlequin ghost.

Really cool to see her animated talksprite here, she truly is Nanna Jane. Also, she's talking a lot more subdued. And making all these blue lady puns! Guess Grandpa didn't develop his obsession with those specific types of paintings out of thin air after all. Assuming the sprites are really there and not projections of the Plot Hole, it makes sense. She's had a lot of years by now to become adjusted to her state of being. … Man, now I'm picturing what it could have been like if Nannasprite had stuck around with John & the others on Candy Earth. How would she and Harry Anderson have gotten along?

Nannasprite and John holding "jam sessions" though. :D I guess they put a spin on holding "feelings jams".

And man, Nanna had her own tome to bond with her father through, jeesh, never considered that. Despite lacking Maid of Life powers (at the time), she 'resurrected' her father by bearing him a grandson.

And yeah, she really lacked in human contact, huh? I mean, she got raised by an alien! One that "stole" her "life"'s potential, yeah I see what they did there.

In any case, it's cool we have confirmation now that Dad Egbert's Jane's biological offspring. Meaning him and Dad Crocker are more like uncle and nephew, pffff.

Makes me wonder if that means Nanna and John share "love of pipes, harlequins, cakes, detective stories" genes. Also, the big nose gene :D Maybe their other maritial halves were in fact siblings carrying that DNA. :B

That Nannasprite sees Jane's development and concludes some things about herself. chef's kiss She really is the OG Nanna, I figure Candy Jake should have a chance to meet her again.

… Wait, yeah, but Nanna refers to herself as Jane Crocker here, isn't that a first? I mean, logically she must have been called that, if not Jane Sassacre, but it's a first to read it being said, I think?

"NANNASPRITE: Is that how you kids think these days? My lord, no wonder none of you go outside anymore." Truth. Also, funny, cause people not going outside are… Well, homestuck. :p

When first Vriska said she got stuck on 'her', my first thought of course was Terezi. See, I figured she might have had to have conversations with Spidermom & perhaps even a nebulous manifestation of Mindfang.

But this? Oh man.

This was really a fine way to inspect all the fucked up ways her childhood was twisted. Even, apparently, according to Alternian standards!

Her 'custodian' never fed her, raised her or anything. She has so much in common with the Striders, in fact. Having to fend for themselves in a hostile environment.

Like Dirk, all she knew about her role model was hearsay. She didn't even have facts to go on, just a self-indulgent journal.

Momfang is an appropriate stuff of nightmares. It's what would have happened had she doubleprototyped with Mindfang's journal, perhaps.

Imagine Dualdadsprite, or Summonbullsprite… Momglaresprite! Oh man.

It's so sad, but yeah, I understand how the only thing Vriska can really do with her fucked up childhood… Is move away from it and leave it behind.

Dang if this wasn't an exquisite look behind her old blustery facade. I also like that she's shown in guardian mode now, as of being 12 sweeps old :D

And having grown out of FLARPing a little… Wow. Well, like John, maybe she'll find her way back into appreciating it. :D

Also crazy how this version of Mindfang is a mix of the book version & Vriska's FLARPsona.

And that Vriska has started comparing Vrissy favorably to herself!

In any case, cool for her to have closure on that part.

Now, I wonder if this means the rest of the conversations are less of a challenge for her and more a way to round things off.

But confronting Doc Scratch (if he's behind the cueball) and her inability to beat Lord English (if that's what the conversation behind Davepeta's feather is going to be about) might be tall hurdles for her to pass still!

[hms-no-fun]

Why is it that Jane threatening to buy the post office as a teenager is indicative of her becoming a fascist as an adult? Couldn’t it just be that she’s upset at her delayed package and makes a threat she has no actual intention of following through on?

why is a child billionaire threatening to buy a public service with the explicit intention of privatizing it (something that is very much within her power to do) indicative of the possibility that she might grow up to be a fascist? man, i dunno. i guess you'd have to make the argument that one's class position dictates their ideology and morality, and that as such rich people are conditioned from an early age to view all of society as a series of products to be purchased and resources to be pillaged.

is it destiny? certainly not. there are so many different ways jane could grow up. the epilogues show us one very particular vision of jane's future wherein that rich kid grew up into a rich fascist. neither i nor the epilogues think that this is the *only* vision for her future, and you know, the text invites you to write the jane you want to see in the world. my contention is that the epilogues' vision of jane is imminently plausible, and sheds some really interesting light on a side of her character that we saw in fits and starts in homestuck proper. of course i don't like how she's written with jake in the epilogues, personally. i think a lot of that stuff is mean-spirited in the bad way. but come on. have you read homestuck? jane sucks! all the alphas suck, that's what makes them great. the betas suck too but they're like vanilla suck. the alphas are neapolitan suck. they're a beautiful codependent disaster. i love them. i hate them. i think it's good when characters suck, actually.

oh and the trolls are a damp burlap sack of wet rocks shoveled off an old gravel road in an april hail storm in the rural midwest. that's neither here nor there i just didn't want to leave them out of the ice cream analogy

wait what was your question? oh right, fascist jane. yeah man i'm right there with you. totally. oh yeah, no, for sure. right. right. the breast milk was too much. right! yeah i agree. oh my god you're so right. yeah. oh absolutely. uhuh. oh i know. yeah. that was really problematic, yeah. oh i hated that part. uhuh. right. oh my god i know!

i hope you're filling in the blanks between those sentences because that's the closest you're gonna get to a conversation where i agree with you about jane crocker