nnikcals

[randommusingsstuff]

One of these days I'm going to write a post about the intentional fusion of Ben and Paxton's archetypes, and why I think it makes people so upset.

We like to distill people into traits, but dynamic characters-healthy characters-integrate qualities of the people they interact with or aspire to become.

Paxton caring about school, becoming more vulnerable, adopting a "Ben-like" side to him.

Ben becoming a bit of a stud, rescuing Devi at the bar, climbing through her window, "adopting Paxton-like characteristics".

It has very little to do with ships, and much more to do with personal development. It’s intentional but it makes people angry, and I have a very specific theory as to why.

[waitmyturtles]

A little bit more on I Feel You Linger In The Air (reincarnation, the novel version, and more)...

I am back home and recovering from a somewhat INSANELY stressful work trip (WHEW! TIRED!), and I've missed writing meta oh so very much, BUT! A couple of things will be happening in my meta life soon: The Old GMMTV Challenge Bad Buddy Meta Month starts next week (FINALLY, EEE!), Last Twilight starts tomorrow, the Den-Panuwat-penned-and-Only-Friends-adjacent series Playboyy starts next week -- we got a lot going on.

AND, AND! AND! I did myself something good while I was away. I HOUSED the novel version of I Feel You Linger in the Air, because, BECAUSE! I still can't help screaming mentally about that finale -- even though reading the novel actually made me realize that episode 12 of IFYLITA was a touch redundant.

Related to the IFYLITA novel and series: I got an ask in my inbox that somehow disappeared (@porjomkwan, if you're still out there -- thank you for the ask!) that asked about my thoughts on the theme of reincarnation in IFYLITA, and cited this fabulous post and reblog by @tipsyjaehyun and @clairedaring about this theme. Tipsy and Claire covered the majority of the ground that the drama series captures regarding reincarnation -- in particular, the GORGEOUS focus on the northern Thai blessing ceremony that calls back to a human host the 32 spirits that a host carries with them throughout their life/lives. Those spirits can be incarnated and/or reincarnated within repeated and/or beloved figures of the host's memories and reincarnated lives. (That explains why people like Ohm and Kaimook, in Jom's present life, are reincarnated as Khamsean and Fong Kaew in Jom's life of 1928 Chiang Mai. And it explains how Jom can continue to be called to different eras involving Yai, from Commander/Warrior/Mustache Yai of ancient Thailand, to 1928 Chiang Mai Khun Yai, to present-day Chiang Mai Yai Kanthorn.)

@clairedaring notes in their reblog that in the novel, the foundational theme of reincarnation AND of Jom and Yai being forever bound to each other is confirmed, directly and heavily, by Commander Yai. Claire quotes from the novel Commander/Warrior Yai speaking to Jom :

"Jom-Jao, listen, though you are fated to be apart from me, my love will never fade, and it will follow you like a holy spirit, protecting you in my place. No matter where fate brings you, no matter the danger you encounter, may those misfortunes fall upon my spirit instead of yours."

I want to confirm that this is my understanding and experience of the centering and grounding of reincarnation in the series as well (@porjomkwan, this answers your question to me!). And, this very much speaks to what I understand was a gentle criticism by Thai audiences towards the show as this season of the show ended -- because the Commander Yai period really sets in stone what Jom can expect for the rest of his live(s) regarding having Yai in his life again in another time period. In which case, I agree HEAVILY with @clairedaring that IFYLITA absolutely needs a season 2, because that Commander Yai period is so definitive of how this first season gets contextualized in the end of the entire piece.

A couple of other quick notes on the novel before I move to a comparative final point:

1) JOM. JOM IS A SASSY B IN THE NOVEL. DAMN! I honestly think Nonkul Chanon could DEF handle being a touch more sassy. "I'm a grown-ass man," Jom says at one point. Yes, you ARE, HONEY! Sassy B Jom courting and standing up to Commander Yai? It was a WONDERFUL story line. (BTW, the quality of the writing of the IFYLITA Y novel was, as expected, wanting, especially by way of a fan translation. But I have to agree with fans of the novel from Thailand and elsewhere, that the story itself was SOLID.)

2) The history behind the Commander Yai period is FABULOUS to learn about. (@tipsyjaehyun has some context about the various eras of Yai here, if you don't mind a few novel spoilers.) In particular, I spent a LOT of minutes reading about the lengthy reign of the Ayutthaya Kingdom in Thailand, and just -- as an Asian and an Asian-American watching Thai shows, getting deep into this reminds me of my own accountability and responsibility for trying to grasp what an average Thai viewer will bring by way of education-based historical awareness into shows like IFYLITA. This long Wikipedia article is a must read if you want to go deeper into IFYLITA context!

3) My third point on the novel leads into what I quickly want to note by way of at least one comparison to another show that did reincarnation themes differently, but also beautifully, by way of an original Y novel.

Until We Meet Again is a permanent FAVE of mine -- and it captures reincarnation, at least a different style of it, within its drama context. In UWMA's context, a red thread tied between the passed bodies of the lovers Korn and Intouch ensures that their spirits will find each other again in the future.

As noted within UWMA, different Asian cultures have different reads on the meaning of the red thread, from China, to Thailand, to elsewhere. This article notes northwestern and Vietnamese beliefs regarding the red thread, and this Wikipedia article notes the Chinese origins of the myths of the red thread. (Remember than in IFYLITA, the blessing ceremony of calling 32 spirits back to a host is cited as being from northern Thailand -- meaning, many of these myths, legends, and practices are utterly regional, and very tied to specific regional cultures that we can learn more about as viewers. Super cool.)

In UMWA, Korn's and Intouch's spirits inhabit other bodies -- namely, Dean's and Pharm's personages. And Dean and Pharm take on some characteristics of the spirits they provide a home to, and, even more interestingly -- Dean's and Pharm's OWN behaviors reflect the regrets and/or resistances that Korn and Intouch bear to each other, with Korn's spirit being far more forward with love than he was when he was alive; and Intouch's spirit being far more fearful of that love, knowing in the end where his love led to -- their deaths.

In IFYLITA, we see Yai's spirit being reborn essentially into different version of Yai, and all of them called Yai. In the novel, Jom treats all of these Yais as Yais that he can fall in love with -- he is in love with all of them, because the spirit of Yai is essentially a singular spirit being reborn into various different versions of the body of Yai (quick spoiler: the modern-day Yai is only half-Thai).

I happen to REALLY love these various interpretations of reincarnation between these shows, and certainly many, many more shows and movies across Asia that touch upon reincarnation as an essential theme of HOPE, of love, of joy. The various ways in which these practices are regarded, from Buddhism, to Hinduism, to Shintoism, and other Asian spiritual practices, are fascinating to learn about, including their regional variances. And they speak very much to me as an Asian, as to how I learn about cultural practices, nuances, and mores. (A comparative cultural example is how food -- like, say, a dish like Hainanese chicken rice -- differs among Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore.)

But also, as an Asian watching shows like UWMA and IFYLITA -- I *know* that when I'm watching a show that's based on spirit reincarnation, that I'm not necessarily watching a "sad" show. I remember, of the day dramas of Japan and Korea that I watched when I was younger, that I absorbed better understandings of ancestor worship and elder respect. If a house had an altar with a picture of a passed-on elderly relative -- surely it was understood that that relative had passed away and one could be sad about it. But their spirit is meant to be honored at the altar, and especially in Japanese and Korean family dramas with these kinds of scenes, you can see characters speaking to the pictures of those who have passed on, having conversations, and being the subject of annual ceremonies of honoring the dead.

In other words, what I utterly LOVED about the IFYLITA novel -- and what I truly hope a season 2 will capture -- is that the Yais of the various eras were not despondent when Jom left them. Those Yais knew that a future Yai would experience Jom again. Korn and Intouch knew their spirits would meet again one day: it was Dean and Pharm that needed to come together to make that happen.

I wrote quite a bit about the Asian cinematic tradition of sad and/or open-ended endings in my review of The Love of Siam, and I think one reason why I absolutely cannot shake IFYLITA from my system -- and even UWMA, too, although UWMA has a confirmed happy ending -- is that IFYLITA is utterly reflective of this practice of the open-ended ending, at least for the show's first season, because we KNOW, through reincarnation, that Jom WILL encounter Yai again. If you read the novel, you know that Commander Yai promises this. But even if you don't read the novel, and we never get a season 2 -- to see Yai Kanthorn strolling right into Jom's arms, without very much other context, is enough, at least for an Asian audience, to know that the spirits did their thing again. Dramatically, I do think the finale could use more finessing (cc @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm, to whom I said this when I finished the novel), but now that I have the novel's context, I know HOW the finale could have been improved.

I took this ask as a major excuse to just unwind more and more on a piece that I totally loved in IFYLITA, and I hope to heck that we get a second season. I am thrilled that I made IFYLITA my debut into Y series reading, because the story is just so solid, and as I often say about my really beloved shows -- IFYLITA does not shy away from being rooted in assumed knowledge about cultural practices that an Asian audience can automatically check into. It really felt familiar and homey to watch this incredibly made and well-told story about an enduring romance, and I'm so appreciative that IFYLITA will be a show I'll be holding close as this year closes out -- a year that started off on the strongest Asian note with the fabulous Moonlight Chicken. MLC and IFYLITA encapsulating 2023 for Asian audiences? We were fed really, really well.

[politelymenacing]

If they're not doing a reboot where they're married, and Henry gets to live happily in England with his two dads and go to a better school than he could go to Kansas???? then why are they showing us this?

APPLE TV EXPLAIN!!

Is that not what happened....?

Must've just been in my head, damn. 😛

OK. Here is my pitch to Apple to make it happen (because is just makes sense):

Why do the bit about Henry acting out and bullying a kid?

Why have Henry failing science (scandal!)?

To me, that should have nudged them in the direction of 'maybe he would be better at a new school in England?' rather than 'he'll be fine just as soon as Ted returns to Kansas'.

Then we have the whole Dr. Jacob of it all... they were clearly hinting at his and Michelle's relationship breaking down (thank god. I can't even go into how much that angered me). To me, that was freeing her of her ties to Kansas so she could move with Henry to England. But instead they just kind of maybe left it a bit ambiguous. Are we supposed to believe that Ted and Michelle would ever get back together? Because no.

Also, it was clear that Henry didn't really like him and would benefit from being closer to his Uncle Beard (ugh that bit outside of the pub with them two absolutely got me 😭)

There's also Dottie. Now, I will admit that that episode fucked me up a little (yay, mums...), so I have only rewatched it once, but if I were Ted her attempt at manipulation would have just made me want to get Henry away from her, so even more reason to bring him to England.

Now Ted:

He's doing better. Ok, not amazing, but he is getting regualr thearapy and he can control his panic attacks

He knows the offside rule. He (re)invents Total Football. He is finally understanding the sport he came over to coach.

He is starting to use British terminology for things! He's acclimatised! Honestly, if he'd been there any longer, he'd have been drinking tea.

They specifically show him interacting with his neighbours and the community.

And then you tear him away from all of that. It is beyond cruel.

Also, even though Sassy was not right for him at all, he was maybe starting to show that he could move on from Michelle and let someone else into his life. (I do not have enough time to lay out the Bi Ted agenda, I'm sure people have done excellent metas about it, but let's just say the Bi Triangles will haunt me forever.)

Which leads us to Trent.

I am definitely missing things because I'm just rattling this off the top of my head, but:

Are we just going to forget that Trent got fired for Ted? And then following his bliss lead him straight to Richmond to write a love letter book about Ted.

What was the whole thing about the right idea just sitting behind a couple of the wrong ones?? In the red string of fate episode, no less!

Whatever was going in during Girl Talk with Rebecca.

Why did Ted tell Henry that it was "good to have people in your life that are excited to be around you" literally the episode after Trent was SO EXCITED about Total Football and how Ted got them there. Like. Seriously.

TRENT’S LITTLE FINGER STICKING OUT IN THE RED STRING OF FATE BIT THAT WAS POINTING DIRECTLY TO THE RED STRIPES ON TED'S JACKET ahem.

Trenthouse magazine. TRENTHOUSE MAGAZINE.

The Robert Redford/Dustin Hoffman thing. Followed by a sodding wink.

And then there's the fact they are both middle aged single dads who have so much baggage. They get one another.

Finally. Because this is turning into a bloody essay. The ending. Ted was FOR SURE asleep and dreaming at the end. I don't give a fuck what Brendan said.

You can't get that close to Stonehenge, it all looked too fake, there's no way Ted wouldn't be there, Jane needs to get in the bin.

How did Sam manage to get into the Nigerian team? (Don't get me wrong, I desperately wanted that for him, but it seemed like it was never going to happen??)

Ted thinks Trent will agree to change the book's title, and even dreams up someone he knows (Shannon) to get a copy singed.

OH AND THE GLASSES. Trent has new glasses. Why? Because Ted doesn't want to imagine him with the ones from before because the first thing he said to Trent was a compliment about the glasses.

Basically, what I'm saying. Is that that is what makes most sense from the ending. HOWEVER, Apple TV, if you are convinced it was all real, here are some ways you can keep that ending (more or less) and still have the Romcommunism ending we deserved that will lead to you picking up this reboot idea:

Ted goes back, gets a final copy of The Richmond Way, the dedication says something about how Trent changed the title because he asked, but it was always about Ted, of course it was. Ted realises his huge mistake. (Maybe he goes to rush to the airport, only to find Trent standing outside his door.)

Trent didn't say goodbye to Ted because he was already on a flight to Kansas to wait for him with a sign that says 'Coach Lasso from England". (OK, this doesn't quite fit with the ending, but you know it's a cute AF idea so shhh)

Trent is singing copies of his book and asks who it's for without looking up and just here's Ted say his name.

In all these scenarios someone says "Is this a fucking joke?" END.

And now you are ready to start your spin off/reboot/series 4 with the footage of Jason and Jimmy at the Emmys. You're welcome.

You can have all of these ideas for free (plus whatever other headcanons you get out of me), Apple TV, if you let me play one of the minimal acting required background players in the AFC Richmond Women's team (Because that is a part of the finale i can get behind and I have credentials if you need to verify I can actually play)

[oreolesbian]

kenobi thoughts episodes 1-2

- goes to show you how good a star wars project can be when the creators behind it actually acknowledge what fans want while also crafting a cohesive, thought out storyline that fits the pre-established canon, huh?

- god it’s so nice to be bitten by the star wars bug again

- when the trailer dropped and they showed obi off tatooine, my first thought was that he was only off planet for leia. i literally saw no other feasible reason for him to leave tatooine unless leia was in danger. i fucking love being right. (also! yay! not stuck on tatooine for a whole season! lol)

- i do desperately want more baby luke screentime, but i am still deliriously happy with what we have. also i want more beru screen time. but OWEN!!! i love him. put respect on his name!!

- super nerdy thing here: but when that one lady on tatooine told the inquisitors that they have no rights in the Rim because the Empire doesn’t officially have control...yeah baby, attention to canon details. it makes me so happy when they do that lol.

- temuera morrison cameo! not cody but still just as fucking heartwrenching! saw someone describe it as “one of the many ways anakin haunts obi wan” cause he was a 501st solider and i can’t breathe…

- the way the show balances drama and humor so well...you know...LIKE STAR WARS DOES. i’m literally crying...the best i can describe it is like a clone wars episode arc. it knows all the right places to put the charming jokes, but they aren’t jokes for the sake of like...dumb mcu-esque meta stuff or whatever the fuck (like what the sequels were doing, *cough*), but actual star wars humor. it’s kind of hard to put into words, but like...iykyk

- BABY LEIA. i literally could not have asked for a better representation of the headcanons i have had for baby leia for literal years. not only does this version capture the spirit of leia so well—but you can feel anakin and padme in her. her interactions with obi-wan aren’t just adorable and charming (reminding you fondly and achingly of obi wan and anakin of the past), but it’s a reminder of what could of been if obi-wan had gotten to be a real uncle. it’s adding context to leia and obi-wan’s relationship in anh that we could only theorize about. having leia be self-conscious about being adopted into the organa family! BREHAAAAAAAAAAAAA. leia’s use of the force being subtle in her sharp wit and mental manipulation skills. i’m literally losing my mind at just how right they got this. i think it’s so shocking after years of them writing luke wrong, lol.

- they also characterized obi-wan so well. i’m literally vibrating. the second i saw ewan’s back i started ascending into a new plane of existence. but like—the way he dismisses that other jedi, not because he doesn’t care, but because he genuinely can’t help him without risking luke. the way he initially can’t make himself help leia because he’s so frightened of failing another skywalker. his sense of justice winning out despite it all; the hopelessness he feels; calling out to fucking qui gon ahhhhhhh; the nightmares we all wanted; the fact that he’s grimy and old and bitter and tired. THAT FAMOUS OBI WAN EXASPERATION. just the scene with the jawa alone had me sobbing on the floor because—that’s obi-wan. and yes, most of this is attributed to ewan’s performance and familiarity with the role, but i mean...i gotta give kudos to the writing as well.

- oh yeah…btw…how??? is the grand inquisitor dead? i never watched rebels but i know he’s a major character in that show (and eventually dies in that show)…and swr takes place canonically after 9 BBY…so…maybe he’s not dead?

- reva is such a fascinating character to me already, and i have so many thoughts about what her story might be about. on the surface it seems to be just about proving herself to vader to gain power and notoriety. we can tell she comes from “nothing,” so moving herself up in the world is important to her. but there feels like something more...and here’s why:

- i cannot emphasize enough that literally no one in the galaxy knows that anakin skywalker and darth vader are the same person. in fact, no one knows this until YEARS AFTER RETURN OF THE JEDI—because luke and leia agree that there’s no reason to make that information public, only for it to become public on accident later. the only people we know, 100% who know about anakin being vader (in this time period (9 BBY) only, so obviously excluding ahsoka, luke, leia, etc.), are obi-wan, yoda, palpatine, most likely bail (and in that case, a high chance breha), and still up for debate owen and beru (but i highly doubt it, in fact i have always doubted that they knew that much). the public story is that anakin skywalker, a very famous and well-known public figure during the clone wars, died in the purges along with the rest of the jedi. vader is assumed by the public to be on the same level as the inquisitors—just one of palpatine’s many little assassins. hell, most of the galaxy believes vader is a droid—that’s how inhuman he comes across. there is literally no way to make the connection between anakin and vader, because anakin falling to the dark was a small contained moment that only a few people witnessed. obi wan left anakin on mustafar under the assumption that he had killed him. but to be fair, anakin never addressed himself as darth vader to obi-wan in those moments, and obi-wan was not present when palpatine rescued anakin from the fire and put him in the suit, meaning that even if obi did know that anakin was alive, he wouldn’t have known what he looked like. so, obi-wan not making the connection between vader and anakin is fine—i can accept that into a canon mindset. however, what I am curious about is how reva knows about anakin. there is literally no way she should know this unless: 1) vader told her (which seems highly unlikely given that we know vader considers anakin skywalker to be a completely different man..plus i don’t believe he’d just be telling that to just anyone); 2) she came to the conclusion based on research due to vader’s intense desire to hunt down kenobi (although i don’t know why she just wouldn’t assume vader would want a very high profile jedi dead. i’m sure vader would be just as adamant about yoda...and no one makes the assumption that luke is vader’s son just because vader later becomes obsessed w/ him); or 3) (my personal theory) she somehow knew anakin prior to becoming vader. whether in passing or personally, i don’t know, passing seems more likely. she’s a force-sensitive so it’s not that shocking to think she wouldn’t be aware who anakin is and maybe put two-and-two together. after all, she was able to track down information about bail and obi-wan once working together in the clone wars. either way, i’m very curious to see how they explain this (someone theorized that she could somehow be involved in that opening order 66 scene?? 👀)

- HOLY SHIT OBI WAN GOT LUKE THE TOY SHIP HE HAS IN ANH. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. HOLY FUCK. OH MY GOD. I WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED. 

[uglierdaikon]

2, 7, 15, and 22 for the writing meta asks! 💕

yay yay thank you thank you!

2) Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

Okay, two answers for this. One: insert ominous chuckling here. For anyone reading Be Still My Foolish Heart, love, hugs, best wishes. That is all I can say at this time.

For a non-fandom answer, I'm working on the second draft of my National Novel Writing Month project and it's coming along so well! I'm looking into my options for the best place to share parts of it so I can hopefully amass some interest that I can wave in a publishing company's face. If any of you out there are secretly a publishing company plz publish my lesbian pirate book.

7) What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

ooooh this is a spicy question. Okay. Upon some reflection, I know that my writing has been described as macabre before, and I think that's accurate. I wouldn't say that I use dark humor, but I would say that I like to walk a balance between humor/comedic moments, and moments of emotional vulnerability. I want my stories to read the way that life feels. Sometimes you're having a nice laugh with your friends and you get shanked in the chest by a deep and inexpressible emotion. That's what I'm going for, except I try and fail to express said inexpressible emotion. Cathartic. I think that's the word I'm looking for. I write for catharsis, and I hope other people can get catharsis by reading what I write!

To be honest, I don't know if other people agree about this! I'm never quite clear on what exactly people perceive about my writing, beyond just liking it or not liking it. Thoughts, anybody?

15) Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

So I did answer this one, I hope you don't mind me just copy and pasting that answer!

Wow, pain pain death and dying. I hate all of these things. I'd say summaries are worse though. A fun fact is that I actually change my summaries and tags sometimes after a fic has been posted. It's the one part of a fic that I can't just fucking let go of if it's not the way I want it. If I find a typo in a chapter? A piece of dialogue I meant to delete? Well that's just fate. But if I don't like my summary or my tags that's gonna nag at me until I die.

22) Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Oh, all the time. I'm a narcissist when it comes to my writing.

I think it can be really fun to reread my old writing! I like to make a habit of waiting a few months after I've finished a project, then reading the whole thing from start to finish. By that time, I've usually forgotten the way I phrased things, and I'm less connected to the feeling of writing it, so in a way I can experience my story as a reader. On one level, this is awesome for learning things about my own writing and trying to grow as a writer. On another, I just think it's fun! I've been writing for so long, and been sharing my writing for so long, that I don't feel much shame or embarrassment over old works. It's a nice trip down memory lane, and a nice laugh sometimes.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Do you think the polycule has any holiday traditions?

POLYCULE ASK! POLYCULE ASK! POLYCULE ASK! YESSSSSSSSSS

that's actually a pretty interesting question because the polycule is very culturally diverse. like of course we have simon who's jewish, but the rest is kind of in a weird place. i'm pretty sure shadowhunters don't have holidays at all, and since clary was raised by a shadowhunter and a former shadowhunter, i'm pretty sure she would have been raised without any either? like maybe she'd celebrate the gregorian new year because you know, they have to pretend to be mundane after all, but i think that and birthdays were probably pretty much it for her. oh and halloween i guess which is also not religious-affiliated, are there any other holidays in the states? i guess there's the 4th of july and thanksgiving but both celebrate imperialism/colonialism and i don't want to write about that so i'm gonna pretend there aren't. plus i doubt shadowhunters celebrated those either

so ok we have izzy and clary with no holidays, we don't know whether or not maia is culturally christian and i don't wanna just say "yes" by default... and then there's meliorn whose holidays and traditions will be typical to seelie culture, which are gonna be... unique to them obviously. we don't know how they are celebrated, how long they last, what is the milestone, how or even IF they count time - like maybe they go by when a specific flower blooms and that only happens every 10 gregorian years or some shit. so that's a question mark i guess

and there's also the fact that the seelie realm is very politically closed which. i like to think changes once they get rid of the old queen! but it's still a slow process to just allow other people there. then again izzy was a shadowhunter and she used to hop by so it's probably not a huge deal for meliorn to bring their partners and metamours to seelie celebrations? or at least to the ones that aren't Super Sacred or anything. so like parties and dances and stuff like that? yeah. which i guess brings me back to the other "meta" i wrote about seelie dances (link) and what it would be like for the rest of the polycule to participate in those and shit

then... well obviously there's the gregorian new year which we have obviously just gone through (well, we had when i started answering this ask. it's march now so rip. update it's april now. i'm so sorry anon) so like! i think it was always kind of hell for both raphael and maia, autistic icons, because of all the explosion sounds that just made them feel really upset and feel really stupid for it. with raphael i think it was more bearable when he had rosa because she would spend the day with him and hug him and let him squeeze the stress out you know dauhdasuihda also she was always the one he felt the most comfortable stimming in front of. and then after he lost her it only got worse because on top of the fireworks there was the clear absence of rosa that he just FELT everywhere. you know?

and with maia there's the added trouble of her being AMAB and what with being raised to "black men" standarts of masculinity (to be clear, as in: due to racism black men are expected to be even more macho than white men, ESPECIALLY by nonblack ppl; not as in wow black ppl are so backwards or whatever. white ppl invented gender norms anyway so lmao), she was definitely shamed a lot for being so distressed by the fireworks when she was little methinks. we love that combination of transphobia, racism and ableism! so it was just hard and filled with bad memories. and then once she ran away from home it got marginally better without the constant telling her to "man up" and shit like that, but it still came with the added memories you know

and also with them (plus simon) being vampires/werewolves the hearing gets even more sensitive so that's... fun. meliorn realizes it stresses them out and makes up a special kind of spell that muffles their hearing of background noise, so they can feel more comfortable and for the first time there is not that added stress that comes with the new years and it feels so nice?? they even try watching the fireworks but it's kinda like eh, not that great, especially because even looking at them brings out memories you know doahdsaoh so instead meliorn shows them some magic and it's so much prettier with all the glowing lights and stuff, you know?

maybe after that the polycule starts spending the new years in the seelie realm instead, that'd be cute, just like. enjoying that pretty place with all the lights and shit. i think they would all prepare some kind of light show some way or another like using magic and witchlights and whatnot. that'd be cute

as for other holidays! i think their holiday traditions would start with simon's first yom kippur after he was able to eat solid foods again (shut up a potion WILL be created and i don't accept any other option). before that, with simon being unable to eat, he was also obviously unable to fast. he wouldn't feed during yom kippur but it's not like vampires need to drink blood every day so it's not really the same thing. and it felt particularly lonely that, besides being away from his family and community, he also couldn't fast

i mean obviously simon isn't the only jewish vampire in the world, or jewish downworlder for that matter, so i'm sure he makes jewish friends he would at least get together and pray with for yom kippur, and that's what matters the most, really, but being unable to fast when he wants to and also not being able to participate in the break-fast meal just. sucks djdnudhsus

and then he's able to eat and he can do all that again! but it's also kind of emotionally charged for all of the vampires to fast for the first time when for so long they associated not eating with feeling unhuman, you feel? so like it kind of hits all of them hard

so the polycule decides to make him a little surprise and cooks the break-fast meal for them. clary probably knows what simon and his family used to eat after yom kippur so they try to recreate that for him? and maia and raphael are lowkey nervous about it because they had never made stuff like noodle kugel before and while they could at least try it (yay potion!) they have no idea if it's tasting like it should, ya know what i mean? and it's kind of sweet that they are so worried about making this the best possible experience for simon and the closest to home it can get. and simon is super emotional about getting to eat that stuff for the first time, as well as the other vampires, so you know. it's very emotional all around. but in a good way? and i think after that it kind of becomes a tradition that they make him the break-fast meal after yom kippur too

and then the next years they lowkey fuss over him for the last meal before the fast too, which i'm not sure is something simon would do with other people so they would go ham, dude, particularly raphael because he is a worrier first and foremost. so catch his ass all lovingly planning a meal he can make with zero (0) salt whatsoever so simon doesn't get too thirsty during the fast for MONTHS, planning so he gets the most amount of sustenance, lots of fiber, etc., and simon is like "you know i don't even have to eat, right?" but rapha is just all "you know food still matters" and simon doesn't say anything because it does. it matters a lot

and raphael is all sweetly nervous because like... it is a simple meal, that is the point, but he still wants simon to enjoy it and simon can't stop smiling through the whole thing. raphael and the others also eat it with him too in solidarity before simon goes to the synagogue with his community and it's like a sweet send off you know?

also this is not exactly a celebration or a tradition for that matter but since YK is the day of forgiveness i like to think that eventually simon asks for raphael's forgiveness on YK for the whole rosa thing, and although that isn't religious for raphael, raphael asking for his forgiveness for how everything went down, too. and it's just a sweet moment where they leave this whole story behind and look for a better future - i imagine this happening before they get together, so again, it doesn't really count as an answer to your question, but i just thought i'd include it because i find it sweet

then after that there is sukkot and i just really loove the idea of them helping him build the sukkah (for those who don't know, the sukkah is a hut covered with vegetation under the open sky, where jewish ppl live in for the duration of the sukkot). i know that they could just buy a certified one but where is the fun in that when we could have shenanigans? also i think that that would have been part of simon's personal/family traditions because i bet him and becca loved to build the sukkah for their family. so like on that spirit it is a little sad that they can't help each other with that anymore since simon can't be seen by the rest of his family, but of course as soon as he mentions it and how fun it used to be the whole polycule is Immediately On Board. let's help simon build his sukkah!

first of all other than simon none of them have ever built a sukkah before and simon usually followed becca's lead tbh, also he's just not great to Lead And Control people in general, and the polycule is already messy as all fuck. so it's a disaster, especially with raphael and simon's superspeed and strength thrown into the mix, and meliorn's almost impossible to hold back mischievous nature. izzy is lowkey responsible for keeping them in check and okay now that i think about it clary might have helped simon's family build it before, especially when she was a kid because kids just love that shit, but i don't know if she would remember the steps tbh (read: she wouldn't remember the steps) so yeah all in all the sukkah falls down more often than not and they might have to replace a few materials when simon and raphael accidentally snap their bamboo poles in half. rip

meliorn is probably all like "you are all weak and pathetic, i am a seelie, i can literally control living things. simon needs a vegetable covering? watch me get all the nearby trees to form a beautiful roof" and simon is like "actually the sechach cannot be alive" and meliorn slowly dies because they have no power over dead nature. also simon forbids magic usage in general because this needs to be an authentic building experience for him, so meliorn is left as the most useless one since they only have experience building these things using magic and the help of the trees or whatever

also i bet they would love to go EXTREMELY hard on the lights and decorations. i know that hassidic and to my understanding general orthodox jewish communities don't decorate the sukkah but i don't hc simon as part of those communities so i think he would want to decorate the sukkah. like even if it isn't fully covered in decorations, he would want what few he has to be well done, you know what i mean? like he would want to make the holiday posters himself (i dont know if it would be appropriate for clary to help make these but if it would, she totally would and i like the idea of simon giving her a very specific prompt to make the posters and clary doing it for him, you know? and maybe them all helping paint it with colorful themes), making decorations, and okay, at the very least fairy lightning? please? come on. it's another whole ass dramatic experience to get electricity in there so that's fun for sure, but i think meliorn and maia in particular would be all over the idea of making a pretty lightning system, and simon is definitely not gonna complain because he loves pretty things and the idea sounds rad. raphael smiles fondly through it all and basically saves the day by being the only one with organizational skills who is actually able to help them make a working plan for the sukkah

(catch these idiots making a blueprint. TRY and tell me they wouldn't)

(every year they make a new blueprint and the sukkah has different designs and proportions - always following the requirements like having four at least 32 inches tall walls, of course - and they start completely anew. the sechach must always be new but not the general structure, but they redo the structure anyway because again, it's fun)

and then of course they have meals together in the sukkah for the duration of sukkot and just idk i really dig the idea of the lot of them holding trays of food wearing oven mitts as they get inside and turn on the lights and it feels really nice and sweet you know? and then of course promptly turns kind of messy because it's their way but that's what they want. also, at least once a year they manage to sneak becca in for a meal with simon in the sukkah and they are just both so happy and aaaaa :')

and that's how "kidnapping" becca so she can see simon and his sukkah becomes another tradition lmao. they do it in the most dramatic full of flair way they possibly can while still not being found out and then promptly tell simon all about it in the most dramatic and exaggerated retelling during the meal, which always makes both simon and becca laugh (reality: becca just told her parents she would be off for a few hours to do some school thing or something and then they picked her up and she got a superspeed piggyback ride so she and simon wouldn't miss a minute. their story: "it all began with a carefully planted lie,")

there's also pesach which many (reform) jewish friends of mine have told me they like to do with goyim because the whole point of that holiday is to welcome strangers and share jewish history, so i think simon would like to do that as well. so yeah i think simon would enjoy having them with him during the Pesach Seder - again i think simon would want to be with his other jewish friends but it would be fun because they all could bring their pet goyim that they know would be respectful and nice to have around, run the Seder, and celebrate with them. also for their first one i think simon would have gotten excited about explaining the order/15 steps to them, so like cue lots of fond looks as simon tells them everything about it, how this is the first time he'll be able to have the feast, the four cups of wine, and how he's excited even to have the bitter herbs again. and then over the years they all become pretty much used to the 15 steps, they come naturally, they know what to expect, they already know the story of the Exodus after retelling it every year, and it's nice both when it's new and he gets to share and when it starts to be something in their element because it became their tradition and they want to be there with simon for the holidays, you know what i mean?

then there's purim!!!!!!!! god they would sure have so much fun on purim it gets me really excited to think about. purim might be the one that they get to participate the most in from what i've seen, and i have lots of thoughts about it, like:

first of all, making hamantaschen!! they each make a batch with a different stuffing and it's lowkey a competition and lowkey a surprise and as always with cooking together it is very fun and homey. and also kind of silly as they usually are, but purim is a holiday that is kind of supposed to be silly and for ppl to let go so it matches that mood, you know what i mean? like they're all covered in flour and "stop trying to LOOK at what i'm making!" and blind testing and stuff

then, food gifts! so from what i've seen it is preferable that the food gifts jewish ppl send each other on purim are sent by a third party, which is usually a kid, but they don't know many kids and i really like the idea of the polycule serving as simon's messengers for the day lmao. going everywhere round the shadow world and beyond ("hey mel since you can portal i have this friend in argentina-") and then bringing him the other gifts people send simon in return :)

dressing up in costumes! there is absolutely no way simon doesn't dress up for purim and the whole polycule is absolutely dragged into it, including an absolutely reluctant raphael. it quickly becomes a tradition tho that they change costumes every year and try to make them funnier and more outrageous (as you do) as time goes by. trust the polycule to turn pretty much everything into a competition. and simon always laughs with so much glee and joy when he gets to see what everyone dresses up as so really, how could they say no?

(maia "wins", like, every year. she is totally huge on costumes and her and simon are very attuned in that sense, so, you know. catch her dressing up as memes and just generally making the most creative costumes. she may or may not think them months and months ahead of time)

maybe they hold purim meals with particularly themed costumes every once in a while when they want to spice it up, but i think generally it's more of a freestyle thing

simon also loves reading the purim torah tbh, it's just fun. and then of course there's the megillah and booing when haman's name is mentioned. they are all banned from using graggers because half of them have superstrength and the other half doesn't technically have superstrength but is still super strong and they destroyed the poor thing on accident after the first ten seconds when they tried

food yay! and the very long meal. they usually get pretty drunk, tbh, at least the ones that can. and just generally i think it's one of their favorite celebrations to do together and more often than not ends in them all curled up together in the couch so u know, that's sweet uwu

and then of course rosh hashanah, which is the holiest joyous day in jewish tradition, so of course it's a huge deal for them all. and i just think they would all be super excited about making the evening (especially the meal ofc) the most incredible for simon it could possibly be. again i think simon would want to spend it with his downworlder jewish friends and community, and they probably have their own synagogue they go to together and everything, so obviously they are all involved in making preparations for rosh hashanah, but i like to think the polcyule and simon's friends' pet goyim would help with what they can as well (provided it's not something that should be done by a jewish person like baking the challah; but if not with cooking, they would at least want to help with stuff like decorations and the like. honestly i imagine all of simon's partners sitting together very seriously with a paper in front of them writing down all the stuff they can do to help with rosh hashanah preparations and everything. especially once they learn that like being happy/joyous is a mitzvah so they're just like "we want to make u as happy as possible then :)" and it's sweet and simon may or may not tear up a little)

and then we have other holidays that aren't associated with religion like halloween, which was kind of implied to be the official downworld holiday, so i'm pretty sure they go big on that too. not dressing up because again, one day where they can all afford to be themselves, but definitely meeting up at the hunter's moon, getting spectacularly drunk, roasting the mundane's costumes, and then once they get back to whichever of them's homes, watching some shitty movies and throwing stuff at the screen together

i'm on the fence about día de muertos. i know it's not exactly a sad holiday but i feel like it is for raphael because it kind of represents everything he's lost - his culture and his family, and he can't even go to the parade during the day, you know, although i'm not sure that would have been his thing, but i do think he would have loved to watch the arrival of the monarchs when he was a kid but he'd have to be in méxico for that. and particularly after he lost rosa i just feel like it would have been so emotionally charged for him, you know? he would definitely make her an altar every year and it would be just... big and well thought-out and something really emotional and important for him, welcoming his little sister back the best he can. and i feel like that's something he'd want to do alone because my boy loves to punish himself

but there are little things i think they would have wanted to do with him, and that they might push a little to be able to, like being with him while he eats by the altar and hearing him tell stories about rosita. and i think they would help him "undo" (?) the altar once día de muertos is over, which is always extra emotional for him and aaa. and then the next day they kind of just get to be with him and cuddle a little bit as he recovers emotionally, you know?

also it has just occured to me that raphael is christian shit fuck fart bitch cock. so okay i guess that puts xmas and easter somewhat on the map? again mostly for food. us latinos celebrate xmas on the eve, not on xmas day, and raphael is totally the insufferable xmas meal obsessed bitch who's on the kitchen all day and refuses to let anyone help (he can't pull that particular stunt for the meals they have for simon's holidays obviously but he can on xmas soo). but it's worth it because it is always a great one. and he also gives a lot of thought into getting everyone presents so that is sweet and it earns him lots of kisses on the cheek and stuff. and that's pretty much it for latino xmas, we don't really do stuff i'm still not convinced gringos haven't made up like the socks and the eggnog and xmas music (????) so it's more lowkey. and i think raphael would keep the more religious aspects of it to the stuff he does at church (again, there are downworlder religious communities idk what to tell u) and for the nursery home. which is not to say that like... oh wow xmas is totally not a xtian holiday! or whatever, just that the version the polycule does is more lowkey on the religious aspects and the things they do together on that day are more about being together with raphael on a day that matters to him, you know, especially since again, he is the only xtian and that's gonna be a sensitive thing for simon especially

and i think for easter it is mostly something they do to shower maia in sweets lmao. again she misses chocolate and i'm sure they spend a lot of their time trying to figure out how to get around that, either be by like trying to make special chocolate that doesn't make her sick or sweets that really really resemble chocolate or that are so good she doesn't even mind that she can't eat chocolate anymore. so that's their tradition for easter (and raphael goes to church ofc)

oh yeah and i forgot valentine's day! i have this funny little idea just for the shits where they have this little thing where they setup one-on-one dates for all the parts that are actually together and each of them lasts, like, 10 minutes (poor maia who dates everyone is just running around town) and it's more about the fun of running around from one day to the other like this is a bad romcom where some bastard is trying to juggle having two (monog) girlfriends at once. but then they actually get all together at the end of the day and trade presents and funny cards both among their dates and metamours ("roses are red, violets are blue, you're my girlfriend's girlfriend, and i love you platonically"). usually ending up with them drunk and debating how exactly they got to this overly complicated arrangement and trying to figure out the best way to explain this to an outsider and trying to make, like, fluxograms that explain all of their different relationships visually and they all look so messy it just leaves them more confused lmao. so yeah it's fun

and i think that's all i've got? i say, as if this answer isn't longer than anyone will have the time to read and took me over 4 months to write. but anyway

a special thanks to "a group where non-jews can ask questions about judaism and jews can answer" on facebook and all my jewish friends for helping me write about the jewish holidays and customs. i also used the following sources: Rosh Hashanah (link), how to build the sukkah (link), more on the sukkah (link), how to celebrate purim (link), more on purim (link), how to celebrate passover (link), what is a passover seder like (link), laws of yom tov (link), yom kippur (link), what to eat before and after yom kippur (link), a classic yom kippur breakfast menu (link), menus for the pre yom kippur meal (link). if there's anything inaccurate or disrespectful, however, please let me know, and feel free to add more ideas as well if you're jewish :)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 266: Sad Naruto Flute Music

Previously on BnHA: Tamaki ate a horse; Dark Shadow punched Re-Destro through a wall; Gigantomachia didn’t want to wake up from his nap; Tokoyami climbed inside of Fatgum’s stomach like a little emo joey and mused about Hawks; Hawks was all “am I evil or no? history shall decide!” and sort of kind of maybe tried to kill Twice; and then Dabi showed up and set the two of them on fire before you could say “stop, drop, and roll.” All of this was a real chapter that really happened. Anyway but then Hawks saved Twice by pulling him out of the fire, which I totally didn’t notice during my first readthrough last week, so that’s nice. But then Dabi stepped on Hawks’s face and used his quirk again. So that was not so nice. We’re really having ourselves an arc, here.

Today on BnHA: Well you know the old saying. Save a man from burning and you feed him for a day, stab him while he’s running away and you feed him for life. Oh, the chapter? Right. Well Hawks is perfectly fine aside from getting a sexy scar for his troubles, which I’ll have you know I did predict. Twice however is not so fine, which, fun fact, I did not predict. If you’re just joining us. Yeah. I boofed it. Anyway so Hawks escapes Dabi using the power of mysterious main character logic, and then he stabs Twice, and Twice dies, very slowly and sadly and in Toga’s arms. That’s it that’s the chapter. You’ll love it. It’s full of feels. And death. Lol I’m in a mood right now I’m sorry guys. I’m gonna go write some healing Bakugou essays.

so as mentioned on the “previously” section above, Hawks saved Twice’s life! meanwhile Dabi apparently arrived in time to listen to Hawks’s “here I go... time to kill you... really gonna do it... here it comes...” speech for at least several seconds before he finally decided to make his grand entrance, as evidenced by him quoting Hawks’s “sentiment” line right back in his face before setting him on fire. so basically Hawks is still okay and villains gonna villain. this is my conclusion and 4 out of 5 dentists approve but you can form your own judgements as well and that’s fine!

(ETA: this is all your fault fifth dentist.)

anyway so before we begin, full disclosure, I was warned this chapter would make me cry. so that ominous pronouncement is gonna be weighing on my mind while we embark upon our weekly manga journey today, but alas such is life! at least life in March 2020. did we really expect any good news at this point. I want a refund on this whole year but apparently I should get in line

so here we go. someone is narrating and it’s not quite clear who

but the “you’ve just been unlucky” part is a reference to what Hawks was telling Twice in chapter 264, so unless Dabi was listening in on that part too, I would think this would have to be Twice? even though Dabi’s the one whose face is so prominent here, all handsome and crazy

omg Hawks is holding on to his feather and using his tk to blast away while holding Twice

what a fucking thing to do. is the fucking feather still on fire. and somehow he hasn’t instinctively let go of it?? THIS BOY I SWEAR TO GOD

and so he’s definitely going to have a scar there now it looks like! pretty sure this makes him an honorary Todoroki. aww

and also Twice seems to possibly be unconscious, so I guess that was Dabi’s narration?? you mean to tell me Dabi was basically sitting outside for like a full five minutes. were you fixing your hair. getting ready to livestream?? “hey there villain nation it’s me ya boi, so I’m here in the Hilton Gunga Heights and omg like a shitton of heroes have attacked us out of fucking nowhere, and now the number two hero is getting ready to fucking murder my bro Twice, and he hasn’t even noticed I’m here yet. shit is totally crazy, anyways before we go on just a reminder to click on the link below to check out our official league merch, and if you haven’t already, click on the button to like and subscribe, it really helps us out.” and then boom, just in time to save Twice from Mr. To Stab or Not to Stab

(ETA: now that we know it’s actually Twice what am I gonna do with all these Dabi social media jokes. huh?! Horikoshi you ruined everything!!)

oh this chapter is apparently called “Happy Life.” that’s fun I’m sure we’re going to have a really fun time here

(ETA: so fun the funnest.)

Dabi doesn’t really seem fazed though

yeah he’s fucked we know don’t have to rub it in ffff

(ETA: Dabi. we underestimated him, Dabi.)

so Hawks is all “you nearly murdered your bro just fyi” and Dabi is all “smirk it’s fine cuz I knew you were going to save him cuz ~that’s ~what ~heroes ~do” wow you guys. I just realized that between Dabi and Hawks, this has the potential to be the single snarkiest fight we’ve ever had in this manga. my hype for this chapter just went up 10x

also even though I just summarized these last few panels I’m also going to post them so we can all shamelessly admire hot wounded Hawks

hot damn. you were right, AFO. wounded heroes are the sexiest. I may be paraphrasing a bit

also two things, (1) looks like he called some of his feathers back (so then WHERE WERE THEY??), but it’s not much. and (2) he was wearing gloves this whole time that’s right I forgot. so maybe his hands are okay?? the hell are those made of, damn

oh my freaking lord

this is one attractive chapter I’ll give it that. also raise your hand if you’re surprised that Dabi never actually trusted Hawks. yeah that’s what I thought

well shit looks like we’re finally getting some Hawks thoughts! unsurprisingly, they are all “I’m fucked”

please note that while talking!Hawks is continuing to be all sassy, thinking!Hawks is busy tallying up Jin’s injuries. this is a good sign, maybe. I hope. lol

anyway but speaking of Jin, what is going on

oh lol he’s making a break for it

this is so bad you guys. this is so so bad. if Twice lives that’s all well and good, but if he escapes, Hawks is 100% right about how dangerous he is. they could literally capture 90% of PLF in this raid and it would hardly even matter. also in the meantime the #2 hero is about to be roasted alive so that’s also not great for the hero side all things considered

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh no. I don’t like this. no no no

why did we suddenly cut to outside and someone’s screaming (?) echoing from offscreen. I’m trying to think of not-terrible explanations for this and coming up short. uh

now we’re back to Hawks/Twice/Dabi, only I don’t see Hawks yet. but Twice is just barely dodging the flame blast, and meanwhile Dabi is all

is he talking to Twice?

yep he’s talking to Twice

that’s fine. that’s all I need. for Twice to “go wild” while my nine-year-old son is outside with his batteries all fried and innocently waiting for someone to lead him back to where his other child soldier friends are waiting for him. like. say what you will about Hawks and betrayal, but there was a fucking reason he was trying to take Twice out first

hmm but we’re getting this slow-motion panel now and FUCK ME I SWEAR TO GOD IF A FEATHER PIERCES HIS HEART OUT OF NOWHERE I’M GONNA LOSE IT

WAIT WHAT

EXCUSE ME BUT

? ??????????

well you sure have been made to look the fool now, Dabi. thought you’d won just because you had Hawks cornered in a narrow room and you set him on fire while standing in between him and the only exit. rookie fucking mistake. you scrub. you clod. you halfwit. how could you let this happen. wow I can’t believe Dabi let Hawks escape unscathed except for a sexy scar and that’s the end of the chapter

LMAO

oh my god. well good news everyone this chapter did indeed make me cry

(ETA: listen. I’m going to hell, I know. but it’s still funny as fuck.)

“he went outside with the blast... and flanked me?!” ...sure. sure let’s just go with that. seems reasonable

actually no, sorry, I literally went back two chapters to see if there was another way out of this room, and nope

by the way that last panel is apparently from Dabi’s POV if I’m understanding this right. just standing behind Hawks waiting for youtube live to connect

but anyway. so no exit. meaning Dabi apparently torched a hole right through the wall and Hawks just sat there and was all “okay this hurts like a mother but if I wait it out a few more seconds I think I can... there we go!” you know, logic

so now there is a ton of action happening which I can’t quite understand, but also Dabi is shouting Hawks’s real name for some reason

why do I feel like this is definitely the last page before somebody definitely fucking dies. shit. shit

oh thank god so far so good. and also, lol

BECAUSE HE READ THE DATABOOK, HAWKS. that’s probably how he figured out you were a spy too. we’ve been had

oh snap?!

don’t do this to me Horikoshi. don’t give me hope. don’t act like you’re gonna actually address this topic sometime before the heat death of the universe

AND HE’S OUT

MY BABY OFF TO DESTROY PEOPLE. ;_; shitttt hahaha nervous laughter Ralph Wiggum sitting on the bus etc.

GODDAMN IT HORIKOSHI

I don’t want Twice to kill anyone but it doesn’t mean I want him to die either! just!! can’t I have it both ways?? please stop with this I can’t take it also what is Spinner doing. and also YAY GIRAN SIGHTING hot damn the sex appeal of this chapter is fast approaching critical levels

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT FUCK

fuck me. [eyes post from last week] the real announcer jinx was the metas we made along the way

well we’re cutting away again!! because of course we are!! Horikoshi won’t show violence unless it’s a dog exploding or a little boy accidentally murdering his entire family

[taps megaphone] this thing on. all right then. [clears throat] NO ONE WANTS THIS

FOR FUCK’S SAKE

“I KNOW YOU’RE ALL DYING TO SEE WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN, SO HERE, LET’S CUT TO A RANDOM PAGE OF TOGA AND COMPRESS BEING CAPTURED BY A MAN WITH HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPO ARMS”

oh damn but are they really captured though??

forgive me for being skeptical. not to doubt you, Hungry Hungry Hippo Man. I’m sure you’re absolutely right and your sentence cut off at the end there because you remembered that they changed their name to Pliff, and not because you’re being stabbed or burned or impaled or whatever the fuck

!!!

HE LIVED BITCH

yes he totally lived and this definitely isn’t so that he can get one final scene with Toga before he suddenly keels over and dies. shit. at this point it’s fucking inevitable. you had to go and drag his girlfriend into this. I’m so sad you guys I can’t even deal with these emotions I’m just gonna stubbornly joke about stupid shit until I figure out what the fuck else to do

OH MY GOD!!!!???

HE DIED BITCH!?!??

he’s already dead he’s already fucking dead fucking shit

ohhhhhh it’s pouring down sads now

my bird son really went and fucking killed the sweetest little dumpling in the manga. I wrote like 5 thousands essays defending you, Hawks. we gonna have to get you a damn good lawyer now

why is sad flute music from the Naruto OST playing

he’s not gonna need it where he’s going Toga. because they already have plenty of handkerchiefs on the farm. and lots of room for him to run around and play with other villains too

lmao fuck

I really did this to myself, why did I actually start playing Sadness and Sorrow fuck my life. real actual tears

and it SEEMS TO ME, YOU LIVED YOUR LIFE, LIKE A CANDLE IN THE WIND~~~

[sad makeste noises]

AND I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO KNOW YOU

BUT I WAS JUST A KID~~

...

your candle burned out long before

your legend ever did.

[mellow keyboard tones]

welp. ... 2020 ladies and gentlemen

[woeismyhoe]

Spill the tea, what's the deal with you and the BSG group (avatar-chang and her squad in particular)?

Ok anon, sorry for taking so long! I wanted to get everything right and honestly collecting the posts took a longass time xD

Anyways, the only ones I have a problem there are avatar-chang, hexful/dykesia/bizukos, catrademption, cardboardseagulls (never seen interacted b4) and bizulas (also never interacted b4).

I’m going to be really transparent about this whole thing so it’s gonna be long as there’s gonna be several links and I’ve included the dates so it’ll be easier to understand. Since I’ll be fully transparent about this, i’ll probably get hate or whatever. Honestly, I just want to put everything out there without being biased or hiding anything. I’m going to disclose everything here.

So, the whole thing between me and avatar-chang started off with this post I made last year on 10 March 2019. Afterwards, she PMed me on the same day and this was the conversation:

After that, I thought the argument was over because she blocked me lmao. The only ones I spoke to about this was nbw and my real life friends (who had nothing to do with ATLA lmao I just ranted to them).

And then the next incident I think was on 16 March 2019 when I made this post about Azula’s abuse of her friends. I was new and 16. I genuinely wanted to know why people labeled Azula as an abuser. It was dykesia who responded to me at the time.

Now, unlike avatar-chang, I had a few conversations with dykesia (who was bizukos then) that was generally civil. I first interacted with her when she made a post calling out Zucest shippers or something?? I was very new. Like fresh newbie baby ATLA tumblr fan new lmao so I thought what she said was too aggressive. I didn’t realize that there were actual Zucest shippers until after some time. And then she PMed me on 13 March 2019, saying that she doesn’t always agree on characters with me but I do write some interesting pieces on Azula— that she’s a huge fan of Azula but she just tends to stay away from her fandom. I apologized about the previous incident of the Zucest thing and it was fine after then. We talked about zuko, the fandom, the comics, Mai etc etc. I thought we were on fine terms.

And then I made a post about the cliff scene in the comics on 16 March 2019. Avatar-Chang made a post that was pretty directed at the post but it seems like she’s deleted it.

On 17 March 2019, I received an anon mail telling me that avatar-chang was talking shit about me behind my back. I censored her name then because I didn’t want to believe without any evidence. No one sent me any screenshots about it so I just dismissed it.

On the same day, avatar-chang answered an anon and talked about the 13 child post theory I made on 9 March.

On 23 April 2019, I received another anon mail about avatar-chang, asking if I’d seen the post she made about Azula. I censored her name again cuz I didn’t want to start any shit over having differing opinions. I’m assuming this is the post the anon was referring to.

On 28 April 2019, dykesia/hexful/bizukos PMed me to ask if I was talking shit about other people behind their backs, and her. I denied this because I hadn’t. This was how the conversation went:

Yes, I didn’t censor any name because as I said, full transparency. I have afp blocked because we’ve clashed several times and he’d still come for my posts last year despite already being blocked. If you’ve followed me long enough, you probably would’ve rmbered that time lmao

Anyways during then, I don’t think I realized that dykesia was actually being passive aggressive. It’d been barely a year since I started the blog and I just didn’t want to full out make enemies. Reading the messages now tho lmao she really was passive aggressive. But yeah then she said this in bsg so I don’t even know why she bothered to ask me if she wasn’t even going to consider believing me.

The 9th of June 2019 was the last time she messaged and it was to ask if I mind her discoursing this Zuko post while ‘hard and drunk’. It was the first time she could apparently agree with me so it was I quote a ‘Yay??’. Afterwards I don’t know when she did it but she blocked me lmao

On 17 July 2019, I received another anon mail telling me that avatar-chang publicly called me a bitch when she was answering an anon about me posting the scans of the EK Chronicles. She mentioned this in bsg again on 19 April 2020 lmao (she’s that petty) it seems:

On November 8 2019, an anon (one of avatar-chang’s friends actually) asked about my thoughts towards the allegations against Aaron Ehasz. I still believe in the system of ‘Innocent before proven guilty’, so I didn’t side with anyone. I tried to be as objective as possible. When I said that I hoped men would also come forward, I said that because I don’t want men to just sit on the sidelines and let the women get the heat if they were telling the truth. At the end of this whole thing, I concluded that Ehasz was a dick of a boss to the girls. Being called an abuser carries more weight than just being a dick. Everyone has been a dick at one point, but being an abuser is something else. Just because Ehasz was a dick doesn’t mean I’m going to stop watching TDP or dismiss his involvement in ATLA.

The next day, BSG brought the issue up despite both avatar-chang having already blocked me by then lmao

On 5 February 2020, after Legacy of the Fire Nation came out, I made a post calling out Iroh’s bs to Azula (guy literally blames Azula for everything that happened to Zuko (something which avatar-chang agrees with apparently, and Iroh even sees Ozai in a better light).

That’s so far what I’ve remembered that involved avatar-chang and dykesia.

Moving on to the next three attackers: catrademption, cardboardseagulls and bizulas.

I’ve seen catrademption around, but I don’t remember if we’ve clashed before. We must have though cuz she’s got me blocked lmao and I mostly only debate back to people when they reply to my posts. For cardboardseagulls and bizulas, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them them before but obviously they’ve seen my blog and misinterpreted everything I’ve written.

But according to them, I’m apparently a Azula apologist, extremist, irrational, toxic, coddles and woobifies Azula, justifies everything she does and invalidates abuse victims.

You can see the posts I’ve made to judge whether I actually am an irrational Azula apologist who blames everything on Zuko. One of the most recent posts I made about Azula’s character is this, and there’s still several more posts like that. Just search #meta or #analysis in my blog search and all of them will just pop up. I can assure you, I have never acted as if Azula has done nothing wrong or did everything right or whatever lies these people are spewing.

If anyone has proof that I’ve talked shit about people in the fandom to other people before, please, present your evidence. I highly think this is impossible because I actually don’t have many friends on Tumblr, nor do I usually initiate conversation because I’m awkward af.

I’ve also tried approaching those I recognized in bsg to find out more about the situation (and at least give my side of the story). Most of them have chosen not to speak to me LMAO but one of them who’s chosen to remain anonymous for their privacy, admitted that dykesia (hexful) forced them to block a blog before (after realizing they were interacting with said blog) and if not, they would be blocked themselves. I can’t post the conversation publicly because they’re afraid their speech mannerism will give away their identity. @space-sword has also shared his experience with avatar-chang on his blog and was pressured to cut off ties with ppb21 just to join the oh so magnificent Ba Sing Gay.

There’s absolutely no reason to judge someone based on their sexual orientation, race, color or age either. They rant about being discriminated against or being generalized or stereotypes but they’re the ones hypocritically committing these actions, and then justify their actions by saying ‘we’re oppressed, they’re not, so it’s not racism or discrimination’. And yet people still wonder why discrimination is still rampant LMAO

I can’t speak for the blogs they victimized in bsg, but I personally don’t agree with talking shit about them on a public server and then criminalizing them as if they’re actually predators. I also don’t agree with involving the blogs’ friends simply because of their association. I also don’t agree with demanding people to block blogs they don’t like because that’s just pure manipulation. That’s wrong and marginalizing people. Unless someone has actually been harassing or literally preying on people, then there’s no reason to actually go around warning blogs about them unless they’re asked about it.

If they feel uncomfortable about something? Then avoid that blog, filter their tags or even block that blog if they’re that uncomfortable—BUT they shouldn’t demand others to do the same just for their own benefit. It’s not up to them to decide what a person can or cannot see or who they can or cannot interact with. They’re not their parents, and they obviously have no right to pressure people into doing things they don’t want to. If they think it tactless that I shared the conversations? Oh honestly, a line was crossed when they spread shit about me so idc. If they actually feel terrible for being called out? GOOD. That’s what they should feel, because in no way was any of what they were doing right or justified. If they’re going to shit on me then expect to be burned because I’m not someone who’ll just shrivel in fear because they have a bigger following.

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

~hello~ !! For the meta asks!: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, and 25 :))

Hello!! Thank you for sending these; I was really excited to see that ask game and I was hoping somebody would send some in. It still took me a while to actually answer them though, and for that I apologise. But without further ado! Some meta answers (under the cut because they ended up being fairly long, whoops):

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (Consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway.)

I thought of a few examples, but they could basically be grouped together under a common theme: whumpy/angsty scenes that were self-indulgent as all heck. The whole self-indulgent aspect often required the characters to be just the teeniest, tiniest bit OOC and/or necessitated rather unrealistic plot circumstances. So it was simply easier to keep such scenes as maladaptive daydreams, rather than trying to think of explanations for the character/plot issues…or exposing myself to judgement for them LOL.

Receiving permission to write/share one such scene anyway is an opportunity I can’t let slip by though. It might be because I’m writing this while running on zero (0) hours of sleep—let’s hear it for insomnia, y’all!—but I suddenly couldn’t remember any of my newer ideas under this category. However, I did recall a one-shot I had started writing a couple of months ago that sort of counts? “Sort of” because I could actually be arsed to write it since I was, ya know, writing it. Only got about six hundred words down though.

…should I share those six hundred words…?

………nahhh. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

But here’s the gist of it: Coulson and May (because of course it’s Philinda) were married for quite some time before the Attack on New York. But then Coulson DiedTM and then got ResurrectedTM. But gasp of horror, he had to lose his memories of his romantic relationship with May because reasons. (I actually did have some ideas for those reasons but sshhhh this is about me yeeting context and setup.)

The first half of S1 still happens as normal (except MayWard doesn’t happen because??? Vows) and it’s now post-E20 “Nothing Personal”. The morning after (or a morning soon after, whatever) the T.A.H.I.T.I. reveal! May’s mom—who doesn’t know about GH.325 and whom May fed a cover story about Coulson divorcing her or something equally as oof, IDK—shows up at the hotel and starts ripping into Coulson for breaking her daughter’s heart, then dragging her back into the field with her ex-husband (him), then accusing her of terrible things and forcing her away again.

Poor guy’s confused as heck, and so is the team, and soon enough so is Lian. The only one who understands what’s going on is May, and she’s freaking dying off to the side like why is this happening to me and eventually everybody’s like! Explain??? (Was thinking about including something from Coulson like, “Are you still keeping things from me?” Just for that extra smidge of angst, yay!)

So yeah then May gives a, like, two-sentence debriefing that elicits more questions than answers. Coulson decides to take May aside and they have a heart-to-heart. Lots of feelings and angst and hurt/comfort and at some point plenty of kissing too. Just! May hiding her feelings for Coulson’s sake but really magnified, plus some actual apologies and consideration of the grief May’s been through on Coulson’s part.

And uhh yeah that’s basically it I dunno hdsjncjshd. I warned y’all it’s OOC, plot-bendy, and very self-indulgent!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I don’t think I could name a single character for this. I get different things out of taking on different voices, you know? I guess recently I’ve found myself gravitating towards more taciturn and introspective points of view, like JQ from my original novel Rosewood or M. Yisbon from my…other original novel Temple.

Generally, however, I like tackling stories from an outsider’s perspective. That’s why I so rarely write my more “substantial” (serious? demanding? for lack of better words?) projects from the PoV of my “preferred” character. This usually means writing from their love interest’s perspective, but not always. With shorter fanfic, using a more removed/unconventional/niche PoV can be really fun. Like, I once wrote a canon compliant ficlet purely(-ish) about Philinda from Tony Stark’s perspective. That isn’t always sustainable with stories that demand more character development or closer character studies, however, which is why it’s a good thing I like writing drabbles!

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

My word counts tend to run long, but I usually only write one-shots for fanfic. If I’m even inspired with a novella- or novel-length story idea for a fandom, you already know I’m in deep with them. And if I actually find the motivation to plan and execute that idea? Dangg. That’s only ever happened…twice, maybe thrice, and I’m in a lot of fandoms.

At times, I wish I could go for more of a middle ground ’cause, like, you know what I love to see? An AO3 dashboard with several completed novellas for my ship/character of choice. I mean yes, I hecking love >90k fics, but sometimes I’m in the mood for quick reads…and what am I supposed to do when I burn through all the drabbles and 2k one-shots? (Besides despair and/or reread my faves desperately.) Novellas are basically always safe for me LOL, and I’d hope to be able to give as much as I take.

Ultimately though, I think I’m okay with where I am with regards to that. I wish I could write more in general, but I’d be okay with “writing more” just meaning “writing more one-shots”, ya know? More than okay, really. I have mad respect for fic writers who have, like, a hundred or more one-shots under their belt for this one ship. The fandom ecosystem would be incomplete without them (as well as every other type of writer, but sshhh that��s the type of writer I’m closest to being right now).

I’m definitely a plotter, and I definitely prefer it that way. It’s cool having such a detailed record of my process. I like feeling like a frazzled genius on the brink of a major discovery with all of my different outlines and colour coding and many drafts and various websites.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Not exactly. It might be cool if my original works were recognisable in the world, but I don’t think I’d want to be recognisable. As for fanfic, I’d low-key enjoy gaining a place in that fandom’s community as a fic writer. Like someone who gave and got fic gifts from fic writer friends, who participated in challenges and GCs, who received writing prompts on Tumblr, whose name was known for doing a certain trope/genre a bunch of times… Ya know what I mean?

Unlikely to happen when I’m so hecking hesitant to publicly (i.e., outside of AO3) claim credit for my writing, but fjnskfsjhfjs. A writer can dream, right?

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Of those three, tags are the easiest for me, for I have a reliable system for figuring out those.

Next easiest would probably be titles. For fanfiction, I like to use titles that are a quote from the source material. You should have seen all of my old Hamilton fanfic… I was really proud of some of those titles. And I don’t mean, like, whole lines—usually only two to five words. It’s a unique type of wordplay that I just love dabbling in.

And lastly, summaries. Sometimes inspiration strikes me and a snappy and intriguing synopsis just jumps out—one that I’m quietly pleased with—but most of the time I’ll spend way too long trying to think of such a synopsis and eventually just go with whatever I’d come up with so far. And live with my quiet dissatisfaction for the rest of time.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (Plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations...?) Tell us about them!

Typically, no. If I have deleted scenes, I save and publish them separately, but that’s about it. I sometimes think of AUs for my own work and might talk about them in my author’s notes—might even talk about writing them—but I never really do anything with them.

Although…

It’s not uncommon for me to decide a plotline isn’t working for a certain story or to think of an interesting but undoable arc for a certain character, but what I’ll do is make a whole new story for those ideas. Once I’m done developing the original idea and the branched-off one, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell they grew from the same roots. Does that count?

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as (film, webcomic, animated series, etc.)?

That depends on the story. I’ve actually written stories in other mediums—movie screenplay, musical stageplay, poetry, TV show scripts, play scripts, roleplay—but the novel does tend to be my comfort zone. Sometimes, if I have an idea that I think could work, or would even work better, as another medium, I’ll label it as such in my folder of ideas and decide not to write it as a novel.

Most of the time, my non-book projects are collaborations. I’m working with five different people on six different story ideas: two webcomics, one stage musical, one anime, and two animated TV shows. Little concrete progress has been made in any of those, mind you, but they’re still fun to discuss!

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Absolutely. But I’ve been writing stories since I was five years old, so we would hope so, huh?

I wouldn’t say my writing’s changed completely, though maybe that’s just my insider’s perspective.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh gosh, I can’t believe you’d make me choose. Writing is just such a wonderful experience for me; I love just about everything to do with it. Admittedly, not all the time, but. Since that barely qualifies as an answer, however, I’ll give you this—

The endings. Not only that intense feeling of rightness when you wrap up that last sentence, but also the moments before. The adrenaline of knowing you’re almost there but you gotta push just a bit more to actually get there. And also the part right after—the real wrap-up, honestly: the revision and the editing. Heavens, I love revising and editing my work.

Which is not to say I don’t like writing it out for the first time, too—there’s nothing quite like seeing your cursor scroll to the next page, like going from a blank expanse to a Oh man, how many more lines are even going to fit on this page?, like watching that page counter tick up another number. However, there’s something cathartic about finally ironing out those problems I had to force myself to stop worrying about earlier because “just finish the first draft dangit”.

I guess that’s not really the end of the writing process, but whatever. Close enough (as fic writers are wont to say).

Another thank-you for these asks, and feel free to come back with more at any time! ;P

Send in fun meta asks for your friendly neighbourhood writer!

[volturialice]

Demetri put his hands around Alice’s throat and James literally wanted to kill her, how come you ship her with them?

thanks for asking respectfully!

you’ve actually answered your own question in the question 😂 those are...the reasons I ship those things lmao

I’ve talked a little about this in the past—that the fastest way to get me to ship anything is to have the characters try to kill each other.

in the case of demetri/alice, it’s actually less about the enemy stuff and more about the fun conspiracy theory-ing, and the fridge rationalizations for moments like demetri randomly bitch-slapping jasper. it’s a crackship, for the most part. a “wouldn’t it be funny if THIS were the explanation behind demetri’s behavior?”

more on james/alice here. I also have another (upcoming) ask about them that’s gonna get like a 3-page manifesto as an answer oops

but the tl;dr version is: there are lots of ways to ship. I’m accustomed to people reacting with confusion and horror (“you’re condoning abuse!”) when I list my villain/hero(ine) ships, and it’s almost always because they assume that by “ship” I mean I want those couples to get together and live happily ever after, and I think their relationship is healthy and worthy of emulation.

but nope! 0/3 apply there. when it comes to v/h stuff, I’m definitely not looking for HEA, I 100% believe those relationships are unhealthy, and (all joking about “james pls stalk me” aside) I would never in a million years want a relationship like that for myself (or my friends, or anyone irl.)

I just like thinkin’ about those pairings ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

(and reading, and writing, and meta-ing, and all the other fan behaviors we associate with shipping.) 

fun fact: I don’t think I’ve ever shipped a truly healthy relationship. in real life, of course I would like my own and everyone else’s relationships to be healthy. but in fiction, healthy relationships do not particularly appeal to me! I’m most interested in content about ugly, messy, and complicated relationships—they’re more of a challenge to grapple with and often come with a fascinating built-in conflict.

types of ship I have enjoyed in the past:

the “Oh My God These People Are So Toxic They Shouldn’t Be Allowed Within A Hundred Feet Of Each Other”

the “Good Lord, Do They Ever Have Baggage”

the “Get A Job!! Stay Away From Her!!”

the “One of These People Is A Shady Piece Of Garbage Who Absolutely Doesn’t Deserve The Other”

the “JFC They’re So Obsessively Codependent What A Mess”

the “They’re Actively Trying To Off Each Other” Foe Yay

so, yeah. when james does an entire monologue about how much he regrets not draining alice like a capri sun, when addison points out all the ways demetri is being a handsy creep in the films, when victoria stalks and bites riley only to use him like a kleenex....the Shipping Centers in my brain light up like a gazebo at a forks high school prom

why? because I am simply Like That

[wigglebox]

Fandom inspiration 2019

I follow a lot of creators in the SPN fandom on my blog and on twitter, everything from Meta to Fics to Art and other crafts and sometimes a bunch of things wrapped up into one. 

These are things that I came across in the past year that inspired me or just stuck in my head over the months! If something you created isn’t on here, it doesn’t mean I didn’t love it (I honestly may just not have seen it). I literally love everything this Fandom creates. Everything I list is just stuff the aligns with other things in life that spark my imagination. But literally, everything that I see I love. A lot of this is from this current season of SPN, so it's covering the last few months and not all of 2019, BUT, I’m still putting 2019.

--

I’m first going to start off with @soleeryx. Their art is a recent addition to my dash and twitter. But they have beautiful Destiel artwork and such a unique and amazing art style that makes you want to keep looking through everything.

Then there’s the ever lovely @winchester-reload! Her art inspires me every time I see it, and it even kick-started my writing muse back in the spring. The realism but also fantasy of her style makes you want to be in whatever world they live in. I just got the calendar, and for once I’m going to remember to actually turn it to the new month lol. 

Newly reblogged art I love came from @kimalydraws! (NSFW! ish)

There’s also @thefriendlypigeon, who, like, pls. I love their artwork so much. Also, I’m going to put @purgatory-jar on here as well because like DANG Y’ALL DANG. There’s also this picture by @ablavalba which never has left my mind since I saw it. 

Speaking of NSFW, there’s a NSFW account I stumbled across that is some pretty good inspiration, and that’s @justanothertart. It’s not a SPN fandom blog, but it’s pretty fun to scroll through. 

In terms of fanfic, what I’m able to make time to read, I have a few fics I really gravitated to! I also recently found @profoundnet which is a fun Discord server and has so many channels for creatives in the fandom! 

In terms of writing in general, I recently followed @heywriters and @justawritingaid, loving these accounts immensely. 

One fic I’m really enjoying is ‘la hantise’ by @wanderingcas. I’m currently two chapters behind because real life got busy, but I eagerly await catching up. Plus, it’s set in Maine. I LOVE Maine and try to set as many things as I can there without being too overwhelming. 

Another writer I recently followed (thanks to profoundnet!) is @saltnhalo. Their stories are wonderful to read, and every time I see a small drabble cross my dash I’m like YES. PLEASE. YES. 

There’s also @ltleflrt who I first started following because of the @winchester-reload picture I wrote my first smut fic on. The picture was commissioned by ltleflrt and then I read some of their fic and I’m like oh NO i LOVE IT! Currently on my to-finish list (because this is right up my alley) is ‘Hunter’s Caress’.

This came across my dash today, “Evangelist”, and it’s on my To Read list but I’m already going to put it in my inspiration list because college AUs are addicting to read, and I do love @dochollidayed‘s writing! They are just also a fun person to follow in general. 

Basically, I just love @nickelkeep to no end, and they are a great writer and on the Profoundnet Discord, they do ‘Storytime’ which is like, an amazing fanfic journey on Mondays. It’s just fun to read their stuff, and they also just put out a master list today! 

Here’s just another fic to list before I just completely get too long with this lol but there’s ‘Rocks for Jocks’ by @castielslostwings. ANOTHER COLLEGE AUUUUUUUU YAY! 

I have a lot of things I want to read, and one of my goals for 2020 is to honestly sit down and read things and write recommended posts for things. Right now you can go to my “to read” tag because I reblogged a lot of these fics as well as masterlists (especially today with everyone’s ‘end of year’ masterlists).

Here are some more Fandom people who I have on my dash who write funny Fandom posts, great meta and post-episode discussions, and are also just fun to interact with (who weren’t tagged above) i HIGHLY recommend checking out their blogs and their work! : @7faerielights @cuddlemonsterdean (<-- THEY ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL BETA READER I’M ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR THEM) @bluestar86 @tinkdw @heliodean @johnlockshire @amirosebooks @spaceshipkat @mittensmorgul @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @super-sootica @naruhearts @bluefirecas @fierydeans @fingergunsbidean @inacatastrophicmind   @dotthings @dothwrites @bibelphegor @notfunnydean @goldenboydean @thecoffeebrain-blog @woefulcas @aphony-cree @stormborndean @beefcakemish @hum-bee @jensensitive @jensenackhles @amyoatmeal @crxstalcas @blueskysammy @li-izumi @drsilverfish @spn-bitchh @canonspngifs @unisaursarethebest @netling

And my GOD there are just so many I realized -- I DEF missed people on that tagged list so if I did I’m veRY sorry. I literally love everyone on my dash and everyone that I interact with even if I’m not following you. 

Again I want to stress that if your work isn’t on here, that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it, because I truly, sincerely, love everything everyone creates. It’s something from your mind that gets put on paper or in some other tangible form. That’s amazing. You’re creating something from scratch! 

Just don’t wind up like Chuck! lol. Happy New Year to everyone! <3333

[mrsmess]

Faves and fails of SPN (season 15, finally):

Favorite episodes (in chronological order):

15:4 Atomic Monsters - Demon!Sam flashbacks! Dean in a beard! Some old fashioned banter! Meatman! Beaverdale! Love how Sam starts arguing w the parents in the parking lot - Me too, Sam, me too. Loving the self-aware monster. I know Becky is problematique™, but I dig her, so, all kinds of fuck Chuck. He must die, and when he does this is the episode I’ll think about.

15:6 Golden Time - Badass protection spells. Dean in a robe and a hot dog pyjamas. Cas going by Clarence. Jogging Sam. Eileen! God I ship her and Sam, and I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that I don’t ship him w anyone. Liking this ep a lot, every little side plot. Nice. And Eileen is back and I know it won’t last but like, that was awesome.

15:10 The Heroes’ Journey - Pretty neat intro. Monster on monster violence to the sound of Clair the Lune. Oh, and excellent casting of Garth’s kids. Regular people trouble... Awesome! Brilliant! This is the kind of meta storylines this show should deal in, exclusively. Oh my Garth! Explosives! Why isn’t every episode like this?

15:11 The Gamblers - Oh, is this another lucky coin episode? In that case yes please! More inconsequential bullshit kindly! Loving Sam staying in touch w Eileen. Hey guys, remember when you did the gambling thing w your years? And the rabbit’s foot? Good times. Will this be an equally good time? I hope so. A god! Excellent. ”Lady, I’m Tolstoy.” Yeah ya are, and i’m dead. The guys and Fortuna bashing god. And I'm equally delighted and distraught over the lore that god created man, man imagined gods and god decided to create the other gods to play into man’s ideas, or as a distraction.

15:13 Destiny’s Child - Omg the intro! Savage garden! I’m dead. Jack w the sandwich, why is that so funny? Cas is a gem this episode! ”’Sexually intimate’?” Lol. That’s what you get for trying to speak plainly, Cas! Hunter Corp. I’m dead, again. Keep the different Deans and Sams coming! I’m digging this! Why would they send ‘em to Rio? They could be your buffy-bots!

15:14 Last Holiday - Weird people popping up in the hq is awesome. And Dean’s immediate instinct to yell for Sam reminds me of me calling mr mess for everything! ”Shouldnt you be in the woods? Nymfing?” Monster radar? Oh, oh this is excellent. So mrs Butters is capable of murder when home and family are threatened, good for her. They better not kill her. I can accept them returning her to the wild. Yes! Did I call it or did I call it? Good Supernatural, good boy! And Dean making a cake for Jack! My heart.

Fail episodes (in chronological order):

15:2 Raising Hell - Rowena! Instant win. Ketch. Instant lose. Ketch undressing Rowena with his eyes = rating plummeting. Jeez. A bit dangerous even joking about the GoT finale, don’t you think? Rowena and Ketch full on flirting... this is hell, I'm being punished.

15:3 The Rupture - Don’t call him god! His name is Sucky-Chucky. The shock of Cas! “You’ve been playing us the whole time!” This is how it works Cas, where have you been? They're always solving problems like Jason Mendoza. In-Dean-angry-voice: “Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Right away, I had a different problem.” Rowena! And Sam! No!

15:5 Proverbs 17:3 - Listen, spn, it’s your last season and if you like just wanna stop writing and casting women completely rn i won't stop you or hold it against you (also why are these ladies identical?). We’ve had a terrible run but lets just let bygones be bygones.

15:8 Our father, who aren’t in heaven - Gosh, having Eileen in the show is painful, I’m just constantly expecting a piano to fall on her head. *Ugh* Sucky-yucky-Chucky. But hey, at least everybody else looks better alongside him. Case and point: I never rly cared that much for Donatello, but it’s great to see him, and Michael’s back, sure is nice to see him too.

15:9 The trap - Ugh. Main plot shit and Sucky-yucky-fucking-Chucky. Fail. Although the flashforward to jan 6th 2021 was a hoot (but probably not meant like one, huh?) Dean’s monologue in purgatory though... gosh. This show would be nothing w/o Jensen Ackles. Omg the kiss! Nice. However, the show at this point has lost the ability to offer any sort of pleasure. Because like Sam, we know which way this will go. They used to have some hedonism working for the characters but now they don’t even have that.

15:20 Carry on - You know what? I’m not gonna make this post longer than it already is talking about the last episode of Supernatural, that has been done better by people w real grievances w the show. The kindest thing you can say about the finale is that it just as well could’ve been jammed into a few extra minutes added to the previous episode.

Mediocre mentions:

Drag me away (from you) - what is this ugly cell interface? The opposite of product placement. Yay! Retro episode! And they got the same actor to play Dean, neato! Dean admitting he had a hard time handling hunting, that always gets me. Woah! That scream effect without reverb was kinda startling. And the camera zooming in on the little porcelain clown even though Sam is nowhere n- oh shit. This was an interesting episode

Inherit the earth - Goooood I hate Chucky. Barefoot Sam is okay though. Digging this soundtrack too. Very un-Supernatural. Nice to meet ya Betty, but I wouldn’t pull up a chair if I were you. Always a fan of the shiteating grin. Jack, stripping god of his power, that’s so hot. And again: kudos to the soundtrack! The Youngbloods and then Jackson freakin’ Browne! And you know, it’s clichéd and kinda vacant, but also kinda nice. I’m cool with the story ending like this. Why did they have to do another one? Supernatural has never known when to quit, and this is the very real backside of this.

Honorable mentions:

I don’t know who this Ardat chick is but killing Ketch puts her instantly in my win column.

Winchester-dumb, new household term.

”Feels like were taking a big, probably stupid risk. Feels good.” That made me feel good too.

I’m vastly enjoying this dark-art hippie couple in Unity and Jack’s interaction w them.

Cas launching straight into his dramatic I-will-not-let-you-end-your-own-life-speech when Sam casually mentions he’d like to talk to death in Unity, that angel has seen some things, and he has learned.

Those are some pretty pretty death effects on Jack in Despair/The Truth.

Obviously Misha Collins

Things that makes you go hmm:

Which of the clowns is this supposed to be in Back and to the Future? Because the one from season 2 was a monster, right? So he would’ve gone to purgatory. You know what? I’m not an expert. I try to not pay too much attention ’cause it makes me funny in the head. But just, y’know, a general objection.

Here’s my deal w death as a looming threat in this show: it holds no weight. And even if it did it has been painted as the ultimate relief, unless you go to hell, these characters know for a fact that there’s a potentially blissful afterlife, so their attitude towards death should be, what? More pragmatic, I think. And it’s partly why Ackles is wasted on this show; That man can deliver a death monologue like it’s nobody’s business, too bad all those words have been rendered meaningless after 15 seasons of this shit!

Summing up:

So, I did not go into or leave this season happy, I knew how it would end and I was sad for everyone the show screwed over (more than it already had). Which really meant that I always had to force myself to watch another episode, knowing what was coming. But I had to see it through. I did, so I’ll give myself a pat on the back and get to work on my own personal selection of episodes that will henceforth represent spn to me. A selection I’ll enjoy all the way through. All in all I think the most frustrating thing about the show is how it insists on taking itself so freakin’ seriously. It has always done horror *and* humor best and this whole heaven and hell aspect has never sat right w me, and in any case they should’ve leaned more on “supernatural” narrative tropes (if you will) getting out of their plot problems, gambled some more and thought a bit more outside genre conventions *especially* in their main arcs, they opened up so many opportunities that they never even used. They could’ve been more like Buffy, or Doctor Who. That said, I’ll always get that spn-itch, and when I do, I’ll be happy to have seen all the episodes so I’ll know which ones to avoid.

[thevioletjones]

The Ian & Mickey Show

Week 2

2:43-5:00 - IxM are gonna bang! But nope, Ian is trying to use mayo as lube, and Mickey is sick of getting his potato salad cole slaw smellin' dick every morning. Ian is sick of Mickey's regular evening clockwork BMs. Apparently, all they do is fight now. Yay.

17:45-19:34 - Ian works in the infirmary I guess, but doesn't have access to better lube substitutes than lunch condiments, I guess. Sure. An elder gay named Chester tells Ian that he can solve his prison husband relationship issues by stabbing Chester and getting thrown in solitary for a couple weeks. Cuz that'd be great for a bipolar guy's mental health. Sure.

26:11-28:08 - The full previewed clip scene where IxM have a spat over flossing and pen-clicking. They argue over who's gonna stab Chester so they can get solitary instead of being stuck in the cell, which... why? The cell is better, because you get rec time and shit, but ok. Ends with that other preview clip where Mickey says he's dumping Ian first, bitch. Ian finds the shiv first, bitch. But the guards lock down before he can leave the cell. Womp womp.

44:48-45:52 - IxM both race to stab Chester, cuz apparently Mickey already managed to fashion another shiv?, and they both end up stabbing him, but of course Ian only does it once and Mickey does it 4 times, cuz he's the thug, remember? A guard immediately catches them and informs them that they've been played by Chester, who just wants to keep getting his release date postponed and has made deals with plenty of other dumb dumbs before. He calls them idiots and pretty politely asks them to come with him, casually collecting the shivs they just casually dropped while pleading their case for solitary confinement for whatever reason. No one acts remotely threatened. And poor multiple stab wound victim Chester super funnily just gets left with a, "I'll send someone in soon" type brush off. None of this resonates as being even slightly accurate prison guard and inmate behavior. Pretty sure Shameless writers have never even seen a documentary about prison. Like... this is not how that shit works at all. Christ.

54:10-54:44 - IxM bicker some more over inane shit. They're really getting on each other's nerves, y'all! Haha! High-larious! Not-really-though.gif.

Episode tally: 5 scenes. 7 mins 41 secs.

Hi! I'll be posting these weekly, usually around 1 am eastern if all goes well. If you're like me, you have no interest in watching the rest of this shitshow anymore, and you only wanna get to the stuff that's relevant to our favorite ship. This can be your timestamp guide for fast forwarding! Please note, time stamps are based on the streaming episodes from Showtime US, meaning the counts include the SHO trailers before the episodes. Most of this fandom doesn't give a shit about spoilers, but I'll still tag them I guess, to be polite. If you are watching the whole show, or clip compilations of the show, then I guess you can view these as snarky recaps. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't foresee any long meta analysis from me, because I love the ship more as an abstract AU kind of thing moreso than whatever canon is now, so it'll probly always be about this length minus my end commentary here. 😉 I am excited to have Noel doing his Mickey thing again, tho. I am. Just wish they had better writing, but oh well. Anyway, I'll shut the fuck up now. Bitch.

[lighthausen]

Tma Liveblog time! Episode 196: This Old House! So many wednesday crowd people who usually don’t vague have been vagueing on it and I’m so scared and excited :0!!!!!! let’s go!

oh hey, it’s mike. hi mike. 

“firstly I’m, Mike, and secondly...” lmao

HERE WE GO INTRO TIME

i haven’t been this excited to see something in ages. i’m usually so chill about stuff like this

i want Martin back

aaaa aaa aaaaaa omg here we go

*tape recorder click*

walking.

ANABELLE AND MARTIN

LS:DFJDLF YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss

onh my god martin is such a bitch i love him

“your magic bubble” lol

LIKE A HUMAN. BOOK BREAKS??

Other lost souls get a break from their torment oh that’s sweet

Reasurring?

Oh he gets to sleep on a mattress :)

Did he suffer

MIKAELE

OH MY GOD

In his sleep omg...

Lives he destroyed?

less so than last time you ask flksjdasj

god the whole “are we there yet”

Ride to his rescue?

BLACKMAILED

?

Oh. So that’s why he left with her within that 20 minute period 

neither of them need to die or be consumed! yay! i would love that please

*the monkey’s paw curls finger*???

Oooh oooh ooh is it the portal?

He has to be coming for Martin aww <3

Oh? We wouldn’t need a tape recorder?

Tape-annabelle theory

Ooooh they’re there omg omg omg

just a house lol

“We’ll see what we can do” lol

STEP INTO MY PARLOUR LMFAO

i love her

a statement? Oh?

Illuminating?

That’s gonna be a pun somehow, I bet.

Once there was a house?

Oh a story

*pauses*

I’m sorta writing this meta-post about the web’s obsession with storytelling (between web development’s trauma story collecting and the web domain we passed had that puppet theater stuff. and the storybook guest for mr. spider, i think there’s more, idk)  how and how it’s weird that the eye wants stories about horror when you would think that the eye’s whole thing would just to be to watch... literally anything other people don’t want them to see. As I had written in it, fears seem to be borne and fed of how they’re created. Enough creatures feared death to create the End, the dark to create the dark, etcetera etcetera. The entities are “fed” by people experiencing those fears. Feed the buried by (supernaturally) burying someone alive. Feed the vast by (supernaturally) throwing them off a building. And if I were an outsider who was just told about the fears and not the overarching plot of the magnus archives, I’d assume that an Eye avatar would be more in the business of surveillance, stalking. They’d spread people’s darkest secrets or at least otherwise convey they know about them. They’d leave pictures of someone inside their house. Stoke the paranoia. I suppose aspects that we’ve seen include the terror that comes from being watched in pain without someone helping (the dreams, the statement from adrift) but that seems like such a small part? Why is the Eye fed by people’s experiences of other fears? Also, the whole “compelling” power seems more Web-oriented than Eye-oriented. So I think that there’s some sort of connection between the Web and the Eye with the magnus institute- which of course, duh, of course they’re connected the Web is obviously important. But the Eye just seems to behave oddly when compared to the other entities, and I’m curious about what the significance of that is.

anyway. now that i summed up that meta post i was planning on writing that will likely become obsolete within this episode, (but if it does, I can just be like “called it!” which is always a fun feeling), let’s actually listen to it, shall we?

and by let’s and we i mean me.

okay. i will. play again

long before people thought of it as a home?

NOT FIRM IN DISREALITY?

Huh? 

OH MY GOD. IS IT REALLY GONNA BE A PORTAL

all the stop-no’s. 

A place where the UNIVERSE CRACKEd

hey hey, fakecrfan, if you’re reading this--- :D!

Many such places? Ooh

A saxon and a coward lmao

drumbeat of carnage? squirming melody of decay ooohoo

ate so well?

Oh fears!

Hundreds of titles ooh

Somewhere else?

Holy shit. alternate unvierse.

felt a whisper... 

what does it mean for a place to be haunted, good question

Haunted by Somewhere!! OOoh!

Jeffrey Neckham*

i always misspell

Do we know him? Idk

New Room? Good job not entering it lol

Oh? Closer to truth?

He lived in fear... hmm

He’s paranoid... (spiral?)

Oh. Mother of Puppets!! Hey!

what is this place

“We” I’m guessing is those of the web?

Knife in the dark? Hmm

Grander plan??

Weaken that crack? 

Eew tendons. 

Puppets, then hunt, (killed by slaughter) then beholding

Ooh! Hey! Proper beholding!!

Buried alive, yikes

ookay going and going

RAYMOND FIELDING

ew, but also, ooh! Fire!

oh? OH *pauses* Was this house/land marked by all the fears? Like Jon? Omg... 

CRACK BECAME A GAP

OH SHIT!!! 

ANOTHER WORLD!!!! 

What do they intend??? 

Are they sealing the other fears away?

Oh shit, would that trap them

Not a gateway yet?

Martin’s wavering sigh lol

real shame/?? Oh no

Filling you WITH SPIDERS

WHAT

never consider how flexible?

lsjafdmdl;fjdsalkfj MARTIN I LOVE YOU

oh my god her silence

not anymore fjsadlfj

His stammering sorries

Had what it takes to join us?

Had spiders? 

OH ! NOT NEARLY AS AWKWARD AS HE SEEMS AAA

aww how far the archivist would go to get you back

awkward?

Lol interesting... she wants to explain

Was her plan?

Drive him despair?

OH GOD???

SHe was gonnA WHAT

drive him to despair :,o

final push to what?

what now?

Bond too complicated? 

TELL HIM THE TRUTH :0

oh god we’re almost at the 19 minute mark , h

Wh

They’d do as he asks?

Appropriate?

WHEF

WHAT

WHAT

THATS A LONG WAY DOWN

What?? WHAT?

OH SHE’S TYINIG HIM UP?????????????????

IT WON’T MATTER?

THE TAPES, JON SAYING “LISTEN MARTIN” HHHHHH D’:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TAPE ANABELLE REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my god

we’re the one’s listening

*click*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SFJDLKJSD:!!!!! HOLY SHIT

gotta say, sound scaping: very good. 

and ! web-martin,, still not quite real.

holy fuck holy fucijk holyf ujck holy fuck holy fuck holy fusjkhhhhhhhhhhg oh myg od

I SEE WHY YOU GUYS WERE VAGUEING 

[motorized-clown-show]

Okay first of all!!! Esc!!!! Which other songs are your all time faves? 💙 Also thank you for tagging me in that tag game 💙✨💙✨💙✨ (I'm Lancestrolls that's my inactive main dhhdjsjsjs sorry for the randomness)

Don't worry about it, my whole life is random (almost made an informatics reference there, whoopsie) and you're welcome for tagging you! <3 I was honestly a bit worried if I should do it because we've never interacted before and I didn't want you to think I'm weird...

Now, ESC. You don't know what you just got yourself into.

Tbh, there are many songs I love every year but there always are some that I love more than others. To prevent this post from becoming a complete mess, I will do this chronologically, starting with the 2020 songs I love.

My clear number one this year must be Répondez-moi by Gjon's Tears (Switzerland) (which is the song I made GIFs for before Lie To Me). Straight up 12/10, I sometimes (okay most of the times) I shed a tear (or more like a waterfall lol) when I listen to it, even though my French sucks and don't understand everything.

I also love Violent Thing by Ben Dolic (Germany) but TBF, I might be a bit biased because I'm German and I already loved Ben when he participated in The Voice of Germany. But for me, Violent Thing is a really good song and I'm really disappointed that we won't get a live performance of this on the ESC stage.

Another one of my favourites is the Danish song from this year, Yes by Ben & Tan. It's just a song that makes me super happy and I love their voices. I know many people think this is cheesy but I don't think so even though I can see their point.

Chains On You by Athena Manoukian (Armenia) is just a bop and has the third best music video, and that's all I'll say about this. Because otherwise I probably couldn't stop anymore.

The last 2020 entry I absolutely love is Grow by Jeangu Macrooy (The Netherlands). I've seen some people claim that this was just an attempt to copy Arcade, but no, it's not imo. Just because both of the songs are ballads it doesn't mean one tried to copy the other. Also, this is the second best music video (best one is Switzerland).

Alrighty, let's continue with 2019, and disclaimer: just because I like a country's song it doesn't mean that I support that country/the politics of that country.

Even though my Spotify top 100 from 2019 might try to tell you otherwise, I was really happy when Arcade by Duncan Laurence (The Netherlands) won last year, it's seriously in every playlist of mine. His live performance was stunning and I still think about it very often.

The song Spotify tries to tell you is my favourite from last year, is another one I really love (but who would have guessed that). Sometimes my mind just goes *clap clap* and I think back to that performance of Soldi by Mahmood (Italy) and then I have to think of the time when I went to his concert last October...

Okay and now we get to the song that I decided to write that disclaimer for. Scream by Sergey Lazarev (Russia). Drama 10/10, staging 10/10, lyrics 10/10 and vocals 10/10. In the beginning I admittedly didn't really like it but it grew on me quickly.

Yay, another Danish entry: Love Is Forever by Leonora. It's such a sweet song and has a really important message (imo). Alright, the staging with the giant chair is a bit weird but also oddly fitting? Also, Leonora has performed in the Eurovision Home Concerts and her performance was just. So. Good. Oh and the use of the four languages is just amazing.

Another ESC bop: Dirty Dancing by Luca Hänni (Switzerland). In the beginning I hated it but then he performed in the final and I was like "okay I guess it's actually alright but still not my favourite" and well, now I love it but I don't know why. Like it's a great song but I didn't realize my mind changed from hate to live in a month or so.

Unpopular opinion: Home by Kobi Marimi (Israel) was an amazing song. Of course it wasn't another 'Toy' but still a great successor. The emotions in it and also the lyrics are just *chefs kiss*

Okay so because this post would never end, I decided not to add comments to the songs anymore.

Lie To Me by Mikolas Josef (Czech Republic 2018)

Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente by Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro (Italy)

Stones by Zibbz (Switzerland)

(okay you may laugh at me) Our Choice by Ari Olafsson (Iceland)

You Let Me Walk Alone by Michael Schulte (Germany)

Story Of My Life by Naviband (Belarus 2017)

Occidentali's Karma by Francesco Gabbani (Italy)

Requiem by Alma (France)

Grab The Moment by Jowst (Norway)

LoveWave by Iveta Mukuchyan (Armenia 2016)

What's The Pressure by Laura Tesoro (Belgium)

J'ai cherché by Amir (France)

Ghost by Jamie-Lee Kriewitz (Germany)

Hear Them Calling by Greta Salome (Iceland)

Made Of Stars by Hovi Star (Israel)

You Are The Only One by Sergey Lazarev (Russia) (yes he's the same dude from 2019)

If I Were Sorry by Frans (Sweden)

Rhythm Inside by Loïc Nottet (Belgium 2015)

Love Injected by Aminata (Latvia)

A Monster Like Me by Mørland & Debrah Scarlett (Norway)

A Million Voices by Polina Gagarina (Russia)

Heroes by Måns Zelmerlöw (Sweden)

This is where I will stop, but if you want to talk about Eurovision or comment on my weird music taste, just send a DM, I don't bite.

Please enjoy my favourite dumb pictures of ESC 2019.

[angelofthequeers]

Ladybug and Reine Nuit: Chapter 17

Dark Cupid I

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

I’m still salty that Kagami’s canon outfit is a literal school uniform because…she’s Japanese?

And Chloé seems pretty stagnant now but that’s because there’s not much pushing her to change. She’s still under the delusion that Adrien will eventually come back to her and she hasn’t hit rock bottom…yet.

@miraculousl4dybug​ @livinthebilife​ tagged as requested :)

Check out my Ko-fi for writing commissions!

Chapter 16 | Chapter 18

“In most fairy tales, the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess,” Ms Bustier says. “Can anyone tell us why?”

“Because only love can conquer hate!” Rose sighs. Although Adrien’s only half-listening to the lesson, his brain demonstrates its useful skill from years of home-schooling by still absorbing what’s being said while his focus remains on the terrifying project in front of him: a love letter. More specifically, a love poem. For Marinette.

Wait, what is he even thinking? This is a terrible idea! He’s going to utterly fail, and Marinette’s going to hate it, and their friendship will be over with a capital O, and they’ll never run away to an island far away from everything and live off nothing but fruit and get married and have two kids – or maybe three, depending on what Marinette wants – and a little pet hamster –

“Adrien, I hope what you’re writing has to do with my lesson.” Ms Bustier’s voice jolts him out of his panicked daze. “Can you tell me what I just said?”

“That's why in most fairy tales, the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess because only love conquers hate,” Adrien rattles off automatically.

“Very good!” Ms Bustier says just as the bell rings. The students immediately start packing up, so she calls out their homework for the night before they can start swarming to leave. “And Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody!”

Adrien fumbles to pull a small box out of his pocket with trembling fingers as he, Marinette, Nino, and Alya emerge into the crowded courtyard. This is it. Even if he can’t go through with the poem, he can do this, right? This doesn’t require words –

“You got this for moi, Adrikins?” Chloé snatches the box from him and gives an exaggerated gasp when she opens it to reveal a small golden ring with a ruby set in the centre. “Oh, you shouldn’t have! I love you too!”

“I didn’t –”

“I’m flattered!” Chloé slides the ring onto her finger and holds it up to show everyone who’s stopped to investigate the noise. “I’ll be expecting you to pick me up tonight, Adrikins! Mwah!” She gives him a wet kiss on the cheek and saunters off, while girls everywhere rush after her, some of them even crying.

“But that’s not…for you…” Adrien sighs and looks down.

“Uh, is that thievery?” Nino said. “Dude, I’m pretty sure she robbed you.”

“Oooh, who was it for?” Alya says, nudging Adrien. “Who’s the lucky lady who’s caught Adrien’s eye?” The smirk on her face strikes fear into Adrien’s very soul. There’s no way Alya doesn’t know who he’s crushing on. No way at all.

“Alya, leave him alone,” Marinette chastises half-heartedly.

“Hey, my dad got akumatised two days ago because Kim thought he could run faster than a panther,” Alya says. “It’s either this or I sulk and ruin everyone’s day.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Adrien mumbles. “She wouldn’t be my Valentine anyway.”

“That’s a load of rubbish, Adrien Agreste!” Marinette snaps with her hands on her hips. “You’re a total dork, and you’re cute, and you’re really sweet, and anyone would be lucky to have you!”

Blood rushes to Adrien’s cheeks at Marinette’s vehement defence of him, especially with her beautiful face set in a scowl like an avenging angel from above. “Um – manks, Thari – I mean…thanks, Marinette.”

“She’s right, you know,” says a voice from behind her. Marinette steps aside to let Kagami walk next to her as they descend the school steps. “You need to be surer in yourself, Adrien. If you’re uncertain in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to be certain in you?”

Adrien sighs. “Thanks, Kagami. But she’s way out of my league.”

“Of course she is, if you let brats like that steal right from the palm of your hand.” Kagami jabs her thumb over at Chloé, who’s showing off “her” ring to a crowd of envious girls. Sabrina, who’s passing by with Alix and Nathaniel, blinks at Chloé and jumps away on autopilot. Alix and Nathaniel immediately sling their arms around her comfortingly and escort her away.

Poor Sabrina. Untangling herself from Chloé is a daily struggle for her, especially since she can’t even look at Chloé without starting to panic, no doubt triggered by her ordeal with Antibug. Her new style, divorced from her old one while still retaining her nerdy nature, is just one way she’s working on that, such as the white blouse and lilac cardigan she’s wearing with her royal blue plaid skirt today. The only reason she hasn’t moved to another class is because Alix and Nathaniel are the only people who seem to be willing to befriend Chloé’s Best Friend; even the other classes are well aware of Chloé Bourgeois and her reign of terror.

Adrien shakes himself out of his thoughts for the second time that day as they draw level with his car, where his bodyguard holds the back door open for him.

“Bye, dude,” Nino says, holding his hand out for a fist bump. Adrien bumps it and gets into his car, then rolls down his window to wave at his friends until his bodyguard drives off.

.

“So, Mari, who’s your friend?” Alya says with a nod at Kagami, trying to act like she’s never seen the girl before in her life. Even though she technically has. But no one’s supposed to know that she’s Reine Nuit. And Kagami’s wearing a different outfit to the fencing uniform she’d worn the first time Alya had seen her: a red sweater over a white collared button-up, both elbow-length, tucked into a black skirt, with black tights and red sneakers.

“Oh!” Marinette facepalms. “Alya, Nino, this is Kagami. We met her when she showed up to the fencing tryouts.”

“And got akumatised,” Kagami mutters.

“No sweat, dude,” Nino says. “I got akumatised too ‘cause Adrien’s dad wouldn’t let me throw him a party. It’s that dick Hawkmoth’s fault, not yours.”

Kagami frowns at Nino, as though she’s studying him in a new light.

“This is my best friend Alya,” Marinette says, gesturing to Alya. “And this is Adrien’s best friend Nino. Not that he’s not our friend, of course!”

“Operation Valentine’s Day is commencing!” Max announces from nearby. Alya, Marinette, Nino, and Kagami slow their pace to listen in. “According to my extensive research and cross-referencing of online shopping sites, this particular jewel –” He produces a heart-shaped box from behind his back and offers it to Kim, who opens it, “– was ranked highest in popularity.”

“That's perfect, Max!” Kim says. “I better hit a home run with this one. Love is like baseball, right? You gotta have a strategy or you'll strike out. But if you aim right, you'll hit it out of the ball park. Score!”

Alya lights up at this major crush scoop, and she drags Marinette over to the boys. Nino and Kagami exchange glances and follow them.

“Oh, yes, Kim, lovely metaphor,” Max says absently.

“Meta-who?” Kim says, looking inside the box again.

“Ooh, sparkly!” Alya pulls Kim’s hands down to see what’s inside the box, and she catches a glimpse of a golden heart-shaped brooch inlaid with sapphires. “Is that for moi? You know, to make up for getting my dad akumatised?”

“Negative, Alya,” Max says. “The recipient of this gem has already been determined. It’s –”

Kim grabs Max around the neck and slaps a palm over his mouth. “Shh!” the jock hisses. “Keep it on the down-low!”

“Omg! Kim’s got a major crush!” Alya giggles, giddy with Valentine’s-Day-by-proxy fever. Well, at least she seems to have moved past the Animan incident, if she’s not wanting to strangle Kim now. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

“I don’t think that’s exactly appropriate to ask if he’s said he doesn’t want to disclose that information,” Kagami says. Kim shoots her a grateful look.

“Fine, fine,” Alya says. “I won’t pry.”

“It’s awesome, dude!” Nino says. “She’s gonna love it.”

“Technically, she's still gotta accept it,” Kim says, scratching the back of his head. His eyes widen. “What if she says no?”

“She won’t, Kim!” Marinette says, pumping her fist. “Don’t hold back! Go for it! No regrets!”

Kim grins and high-fives Max. “Operation Valentine’s Day is underway!” He starts jogging on the spot, while Max pulls out a map of the area.

“Her route is highlighted here in yellow, yours in red,” Max recites. “If you run at ten miles per hour, you're going to gain a four-and-a-half-minute advance on her. Halt and wait here facing northwest – the third most romantic spot in Paris.”

Alya and Marinette grin and shoot Kim encouraging thumbs-up.

“Go on, dude!” Nino says. “Knock her over!”

“Thanks, guys!” Kim says before sprinting away.

“Come on!” Alya says to Kagami and Nino. “I bet we can get Marinette’s papa to sneak us some of their Valentine’s Day treats!”

“I don’t know…” Kagami says. “I should have called my driver minutes ago.”

“Dude, Adrien’s getting pushed around by his schedule enough,” Nino says. “Fight the system!”

Alya and Marinette raise their eyebrows at him. Kagami takes a deep breath, then types a message on her phone.

“I told my driver to wait an hour before picking me up, so that I can spend time with Adrien and develop our friendship. My mother will be displeased, but I’ll offer her extra training to compensate for this. I just hope she doesn’t realise that I’m lying.”

“Hey, rich kids gotta stick together, right?” Alya teases. Kagami, who looks a little pale, just raises an eyebrow at her.

“Yay!” Marinette hugs Kagami. “Come on! If we hurry, we’ll make it before Papa sells all the treats!”

As they’re sprinting down a street and weaving between shoppers, Marinette crashes into someone and shrieks as they both lose their balance. Acting on superhero reflexes, Alya grabs Marinette and keeps her on her feet, while Kagami catches the other person.

“Adrien?” she says as the person groans. “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be at home?”

“I –” Adrien stuffs something into his bag and grins sheepishly. “Nothing! I just…wanted to get out of the car…”

“You’re a horrible liar, Agreste,” Kagami says. “Although at least I’m technically not lying now.”

Just then, everyone’s phones except for Kagami’s buzz, and Alya gasps when she’s fished hers out and sees what Chloé’s sent them.

“That witch!” she hisses, angling her phone so that Kagami can see the picture of Kim kneeling and covered in trash.

“Nothing I say is even doing anything!” Adrien’s shoulders slump. “I thought she really valued our friendship enough to want to become a better person. Maybe if I give a little and talk to her to nudge her –”

“Nope,” Alya says immediately. “That’s what she wants. You give her an inch, she’ll take a mile.”

“It’s not your responsibility to make her change, dude,” Nino agrees.

“Some people just won’t change,” Kagami says. “You just need to –” Her eyes widen. “Look out!”

Alya has just enough time to register the winged red and black figure behind Adrien before they’re nocking an arrow to their bow and shooting straight at Marinette. Before a wide-eyed Marinette can so much as blink in reaction, Adrien’s throwing himself in front of her with his arms out, taking the arrow straight to his chest.

“Adrien!” Marinette gasps as he doubles over, while the arrow dissolves. “Oh my gosh, are you okay? What did he do to you?”

“I – I –” Adrien straightens up and rips himself free of Marinette’s grasp. His lips, curved in a snarl, are now pitch black. “I loathe you, Marinette! Everyone thinks you’re such a perfect princess!” He grins cruelly at Kagami. “We both know I won that point, Kagami. Marinette’s just too sickeningly soft to stand by her judgement. Always afraid to hurt other people like the disgusting angel she is!”

“Come on, dude!” Nino grabs Marinette’s arm and drags her out of the way of another arrow. “We gotta get out of here!”

“But what about Adrien?” Marinette protests. Kagami and Alya grab her other arm.

“Nothing we can do for him right now,” Alya says. “We just gotta wait for Ladybug and Reine Nuit to show up!”

Her words seem to pierce through Marinette’s daze like one of the akuma’s arrows, because Marinette shakes her head and flees the scene with her friends, ducking and darting around the screaming passers-by. A good distance away, Alya ‘accidentally’ loses her grip on Marinette and lets herself get sucked into the crowd, pretending she doesn’t hear her friends’ cries. Once she’s able to extract herself from the panicking people, she darts down an alleyway and cries, “Plagg, claws out!”

As Reine Nuit, she leaps out and elbows her way through the crowd back to where the akuma had been, but he’s nowhere in sight. Thankfully, an angel of an entirely different kind lands next to her and says, “It’s Kim! Hawkmoth must have gotten him after Chloé did that.”

“I wish I could slap her and get away with it,” Reine Nuit huffs, crossing her arms.

“Ladybug! Reine Nuit!” Nino skids to a halt, with Kagami following at a more dignified pace. “Marinette and Alya! We lost ‘em – they could be –”

“Marinette’s safe,” Ladybug says quickly. “I got her out of here. She told me that it’s Kim and the akuma has to be in the pin she saw – the one he wanted to give to Chloé.”

Of course! “Alya’s safe too,” Reine Nuit says. “Pulled her out of the way just in time. You guys need to get somewhere safe. Angel bug and I have to…” She shudders. “Protect Chloé.”

“That’s the spirit!” Ladybug says cheerfully with a wide, plastic smile. “Let’s go!”

They bound towards Le Grand Paris, praying that they won’t be too late – although in Reine Nuit’s case at least, it’s more because it’ll be a pain to predict where he’s going once he’s got his revenge on Chloé. They arrive just in time; Chloé’s about to enter the hotel, and Kim is nearby with an arrow ready. Just as he’s about to shoot, Ladybug catches his wrist with her yo-yo and yanks his aim off.

“Ladybug!” he snarls, whirling to face them on their rooftop. Chloé screams and runs away down the street.

“Stop it, Kim!” Ladybug says.

“I’m not Kim! I’m Dark Cupid, and I’ll never stop! If I can’t have love, then no one can!”

“Okay, Dark Cupid, I get it.” Ladybug holds her hands up placatingly. “Chloé totally burned you. But that doesn't mean you have to take it out on all of Paris!”

“Oh, yes I do! I won't stop until everyone's heart is crushed. Say adios to your loved ones. From now on, you'll hate them!”

Dark Cupid shoots arrow after arrow at Ladybug and Reine Nuit, who use their yo-yo and staff to deflect them. But they can’t win like this; they’re on the defensive, and they can’t stay like this forever. All it’ll take is one arrow to slip through their guard.

It happens almost in slow motion. Just as Dark Cupid fires another arrow, Ladybug slips and loses her footing, throwing her yo-yo at a chimney to stop herself from falling off the roof. But this lets the arrow strike her directly in the centre of her back.

“Ladybug!” Reine Nuit dodges another arrow and throws herself down next to Ladybug, whose entire body is tense and trembling. “Are you okay?”

“Reine Nuit,” Ladybug gasps. She looks up, her lips now jet-black, and all the tension melts out of her body. “I hate you!”

“Hey, snap out of it!” Reine Nuit tries to shake her partner’s shoulders, but Ladybug slaps her across the face and then straddles her to keep her pinned. Reine Nuit struggles to stop her body from tingling and flushing. Okay, so she’s had fantasies of being pinned by Ladybug, but not like this.

“You’re the worst partner I could’ve asked for, ditzy kitty!” Ladybug snarls. “What good are you? What, you can pop a Cataclysm or two? I could’ve gotten by perfectly well without your little power!” She smirks. “But you can’t do a thing without my powers, can you? You’re useless!”

Sorry about this, Reine Nuit thinks. She forces her baton under Ladybug’s stomach, then extends it to send Ladybug flying along the rooftop. Before the brainwashed hero can recover, Reine Nuit leaps off the roof and takes off down the street, ducking for cover to try and throw Ladybug and Dark Cupid off her trail if they follow her. It’s not until she’s a few blocks away that she finally allows herself to sag against a brick wall, panting and trying to resist the urge to thump the back of her head on the wall repeatedly.

Great. Ladybug’s gone. And she’s the only one who can purify the akuma. What is Reine Nuit going to do? Ladybug had been right when she’d said that Reine Nuit is useless without her.

Snap out of it! Reine Nuit shakes her head. Save Ladybug now, mope later. She’s a hero. So, she has to act like one.