#oh would you look at that i actually learned stuff from uni

[u3pxx]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S 2024?!?!

next, you're gonna tell me it's gonna be some made-up year like "2025" next. tch, imagine that.

anyways, whoo! 2023! compared to both 2022 and 2021, i gotta say, my art style took a hard swerve in some direction this year. i mean, look at that klavier from january and that butch kim from just this december! (granted, i heavily referenced the portrait of butch kim but still, i didn't use to paint! mama mia!)

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the way i drew faces has definitely changed, that's what i get for getting into something that's live-action and into smth that has realistically proportioned art lol

OH! OH! HOW COULD I FORGET!!! IT WAS (and still will be) THE YEAR OF THE OLD MAN!! i really learned how to draw aged faces this year! ach fraulein, i have not stopped drawing people in their 40's-50's! i would say "send help" but i'm actually having a lot of fun ASKSKS

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i think a funny thing about these art summaries i've done is that they're mostly ace attorney but then there's just a month where i become a different type of ill LMAO this year it was four months for the price of two new interests!

cheers! here's to 2024!!! hope y'all have a fun art year!!!!

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i'm gonna ramble more below about like, other art things i did this year but i'm gonna put it under 'keep reading' bc this baby is getting way too wordy now WHEEZES

1. FAVORITE THINGS I'VE DRAWN THIS YEAR (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

⚖️ mea culpa comic [x]

drawing this one was so time-consuming and ambitious but boy, do i love the end result! i had fun doing the inks for this one but was it a lot! i usually color in lineart and render everything but i had to stop myself from doing it for this one bc man, i'll die asksks

this also has some of my favorite apollos i've drawn, definitely

also! the part about the lineart not being colored and no rendering ended up being a deliberate stylistic choice for this one bc i had like more freedom to do just shadows with inks without it looking too out of place.

💐 my lawfully wedded zine spread [x]

now this one isn't out yet but take my word for when i say that this is one of the most craxy things i've ever drawn for this year, on account of drawing a comic AND group shot all in one!

also literally one of the prettiest things i've rendered this year, lookit that klav...

🎉 aa4 redraw - 2022 anniversary [x]

kind of like my wedding zine piece, group photos are insane, and rendering like uhhh [looks at drawing] 11 CHARACTERS IS ALSO INSANE if i try and draw a group photo again you have to stop me DFGHDJ

🎨 my art fight stuff [x] [x]

was possessed in the month of july or smth bc i pumped out like how many drawings so quickly (before i got burnt out that is pftt)

pace yourselves and don't be like me pls ajshgdghhjk

💥 people park day [x]

my friend told me that it was very obvious i watched across the spiderverse when they saw this FDFGHJD

but yea! this is when i started getting really into like, thought bubbles or just like, panels or drawings within a drawing when coming up with layouts

i still love the colors on this one...

🪩 fem disco portraits

ok so i haven't uploaded these yet but you have to trust me when i say that something was in the water DFGHDJ

who knew that all it took for me to learn how to paint was butches

2. ALSO DID YOU KNOW THAT I SOLD STICKERS THIS YEAR IN OUR UNI'S ART MART?

THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THAT SCHOOL I SWEAR PFTTT this experience has also awaken the merch beast in me and i need to make more physical things for my brain to be happy, that's just how it be pfttt

hopefully next year i can actually start like a shopee shop or whatever lmao

3. ART FIGHT

i'm actually quite happy i got to participate in art fight this year! very delighted for all the art i've gotten and very fun to have drawn for others too!!

4. ZINES

i got invited and joined so many zines from 2022 continuing to 2023 that i kind of got burnt out from participating for now ngl ASKSKSKS not gonna be joining much this year oopsiessss! (unless i lose self-control [very likely])

5. SCHOOL

i don't actually like a lot of the stuff i draw for art school bc i tend to cram and not have fun pftt <- adhd moment, tragic! but here are some that i actually kind of like lol

6. THAT'S IT!

i think that's it! thanks for reading all the way down here!! o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi :) i hear you give advice and i very much need some. I’m 15 and I live in a pretty (very) conservative christian area.

My older sibling is 19, and came out as trans to me like a year ago. Ngl I didn’t really know what that meant, cause we don’t learn about that stuff (except for your classic, anything that isn’t “normal” is wrong). But he just told me that he’s happier with he/him and with his new name. But he hasn’t told our parents yet, so I have to use the old stuff in front of them when he comes back for visits (he’s as uni) which feels gross cause I know he feels uncomfortable but it’s fine. 

I sort of thought the he/him thing would be weird, since that’s not how i’ve addressed him my whole life, but after a couple of months it was actually super easy. We call each other like twice a week, and I was worried we’d drifted apart after he told me but actually were closer than ever, I feel like I know him a lot better now. 

Oh but his old name, the one parents gave him, SUCKS. And now I can’t mock him for it cause he picked a new one, which seems unfair to me but I can come up with new material, i’m creative.

Anyway, he told me that he’s been saving up and he’s gonna get top surgery. He’s had a pretty good job since  school so I guess he’s been saving since then. I hear it’s expensive. 

But it made him decide to tell our parents. So when he came up and visited, just before he left, he told them.

That was last week. They reacted terribly, as we knew they would. And they’ve both been yelling about it a bunch. Saying stuff like “He (okay no they’re actually using she but I won’t be doing that even in writing cause it feels wrong cause it’s my brother) is totally insane” or “He needs therapy, we failed him.” or “How dare *old name* do this” or “he’s delusional” and a bunch of other awful shit like that.

So I have two options. I can try and encourage them to do little things like use he/him for my brother. Or call him their son instead of daughter. Or actually look at photos of him now (he very much doesn’t look like a girl anymore- idk how they didn’t realise tbh). Or how he always did little things like cutting his hair and hating dresses and other stuff like that.

I’ve often been able to help my parents be nicer about stuff. Like my friend who’s a lesbian, they hated her at first but now they’re nicer about it.

But maybe if I do that they’ll start yelling about corrupting me (as they’ve done in the past) and harass my brother worse and be even worse about it all. 

It’s hard to know which direction it’ll go.

And look I still don’t really get it. But also it makes sense, you know? It’s like the final puzzle piece being slotted in, all those things he used to do make sense now. 

My parents say I can’t interact with lgbtq+ stuff cause they’ll corrupt me. But like- not to be rude but, aren’t they corrupting me? My brother HAPPY. I don’t see how that’s wrong. And they’re the ones telling me I should be actively encouraging him to be- what, sad again? Uncomfortable in himself. 

I don’t know, i’m not totally sure I understand my parents or my brother. I got tumblr in the first place since it’s the only thing I could think of that’s online (so I could hide it) and probably has lgbtq+ people on it so I could- idk get used to it I guess. 

And now i’m here. 

When it comes down to it, I want my brother to be happy, and if he’s happier as my brother than my sister then I don’t see why I should care about him switching pronouns or whatever. 

So I want to try and help my parents see it like that too. And they often do see new sides to things when I point them out. So maybe id be helping.

But there’s also the chance they’d get more mad at my brother for corrupting me and that’d make him upset and that’s not what I want. 

So yeah, any advice? 

It’s kinda scary coming from my small town onto the giant internet of people i’ve been taught are weird. But you guys don’t seem that weird. I mean- you do but weird like i’m weird, not weird like ill. (Sorry if any of this seems rude btw, I might not get it but i’m trying really hard not to judge anyone, since it’s pretty clear to me that some of the things i’ve been taught aren’t correct). 

Also why do my parents think my brothers ill anyway? I know him, i’d know if he’s ill. Also i love history, and trans people are all over history. I mean they’re never said to be trans but watching my brother, it’s pretty obvious other people were like him. 

Anyway, thanks and have a good summer 💖

Hi hon!

I want to tell you, it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and you're an amazing support to your brother. You should be so proud of yourself.

I think you need to think about what is best for you and your mental health. If speaking up to your parents about your brother could end in them getting mad at you, it might not be a good idea. You've been doing amazing at supporting him while staying quiet, and I know he knows you support him. It might be best for yout o quietly educate yourself online without making a fuss, until you aren't relying on your parents as much for money, food, and shelter- kind of like your brother did.

This also might be a good thing to talk to your brother about, too. Like you said, this could affect him, and he probably knows your parents well. He might have some good advice <3 But you don't HAVE to stand up to them if it's not good for you. It's okay to educate yourself, and be an ally in other ways <3

Naming you history anon <3

(also wish your brother luck on his top surgery for me!)

[donkey-hyuck]

UNDERSTAND:: jjh

idol!au | uni student!reader | strangers-2-lovers!au | fluff

“maybe we could try it if you let me

take you by the hand

you’re the only one who understands” - keshi

TW: food | profanity | lowercase letters

————

~ the night had shimmied it’s way to cover the now dark sky. you and your friends were out at some seven-eleven down the suburban street, taking a break from studying and watching all of the boys play their late night games on the court.

your friends’ lover had invited the two of you to watch him and his teammates play for a bit before going back to stuff your brain of information that may or may not pique your interest.

the two of you had now been sitting on one of the old beat-up benches with your ice cream slowly melting due to the humidity of the hot summer air.

all of the boys were goofing off and constantly teasing each other and their laughs (as well as you and your friends’) echoed through the open air. however the laughing came to a brief hault when a group of about four men asked to join a game. to which the boys boisterously agreed.

the game was neck and neck. not that you were keeping count, your friend was actually doing it for them but you knew they were tied. you could feel it. and by the time someone had finally scored a point (it was a three pointer by the group of four men), everyone was wiping their sweat and congratulating them with ‘good game.’

the group of men had left their belongings on the bench the two of you were sitting on. they were all handsome, that was for sure. even in their sweaty glory. and you hadn’t realized you were staring until you felt a slight puncture in your ribs from your friend.

“hi,” said the first, who appeared to have dimples painting his already beautiful face. the man had told his friends that he would catch up with them later as he turned back to you with his undivided attention.

“hi,” you awkwardly smiled back, looking at your friend who told you she was going with the boys.

the night long carried on, and the summer night breeze felt just perfect in a moment like this. you had learned the man’s name was yoon-oh (he prefaced that he preferred jaehyun, though.)

the conversation which the two of you were having was completely and utterly random. laughs and little bits of teasing were shared, and you don’t know if it’s because of the summer air or because you had been locked up in your dorm for the past couple of days studying for your finals, but something flickered. maybe not physically but emotionally, something was there and you knew you both felt it.

unfortunately all good things must come to an end. when jaehyun had received a phone call from his manager did your encounter finally come to an end.

“oh my god, it’s already one in the morning!” he laughed, “have we really been talking for that long?”

you took out your phone from your back pocket to confirm the time. and it was almost two in the morning. you both laughed out loud, too shocked that you got carried away in your conversation that really was not important. but it was important to you, and you hoped he felt the same way.

“when can i see you again?” he asked, pupils dilated as he took in everything he could of you.

“any time you want, really,” you replied, as he took your phone out of your hand and put his number in your contacts list.

“i’ll call you,” you nodded at his words as he walks further and further away. you can feel the freedom walking away with him.

—

every encounter with yoon-oh has been an absolute dream. he makes you feel like you again. he makes you feel free and he makes you feel incredibly happy. and he can say the same thing about you. everyone, even the makeup artists, can tell that his mood had just been uplifted. although they, of course, don’t know the reason behind it. they also don’t know that the reason is a person— you— rather than an item.

and you remember the exact moment.

he held you close, under the stars as the condensation escapes your noses. and this moment feels different. it feels raw. you’re facing him now, and he can see all the stars reflecting in your gorgeous eyes. he laughs, looking at the ground, not believing that he’s doing this now.

“what’s wrong?” you chuckle, gaining his attention back.

“i thought i’d be too scared to ever tell you this. and to be honest, i’m still shitting my pants right now. you make me feel nervous and calm all at the same time.”

you’re confused on where he’s going with this. he’s a great friend, but friends don’t hang out the way you two do, do they? friends don’t look at each other the way you two do.

he lets out a sigh before taking a step closer and shoving his sweaty hands in his coat pocket. “i cant believe i’m doing this,” he mutters underneath his breath, although you can hear him and it makes you laugh.

“doing what?” your nose scrunches, as you observe his stance. oh no, are things going to get awkward now?

“i like you… like- a lot,” he pauses, “… and maybe- if you want- i’d like it if we tried. if we can be together because that’s all i want and i know that’s all you want. our friendship was brief, i know- and it might be even shorter after me saying this to you- but none of it matters. even if you and i aren’t meant to be, i was eternally grateful to have met you… i still am, and i think i forever will be.”

your smile lights up with every word that escapes the beautiful man’s lips. he has so much to say and you think he still has more. although you know the answer to his upcoming question.

“you understand me. in ways i never even thought of. you’ve helped me escape my shell and you’ve helped me when i never even knew i needed help. our time had been short, yet i still long to be with you for as long as you’ll have me. you understand me and my feelings, and my heart, and my soul with every fiber in your being and i don’t know how much more i can handle. please, i want to create more memories with you. but i want to create them as a couple. [y/n], will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”

jaehyun has truly never talked as much as he did that night. and you enjoyed every moment of it. with the whistling of the winter wind, the hot air escaping his lips, and the thumping sound of your heart, you knew the answer. you knew the answer when you first met, as if you knew this was going to happen.

jaehyun feels as though he was going to cry. he had never had a moment like this happen to him ever. his feelings were just too overwhelming and he didn’t no how much longer he could last. he’s looking down at the ground once more, and he hears you step closer to him. you cup the side of his face to finally catch a glimpse of him. and in that moment, he never realized how undeniably in love with you he was. every stare, every touch, and every word has meanings he will never understand. his feelings are overwhelmed in that moment. he remembers.

and it’s in that moment that he will cherish you, your relationship, and the late winter nights as you close the gap you oh-so needed to close.

you had both understood everything the other person wanted and words didn’t even have to be exchanged.

you had understood the underlying feelings you had stowed away from the man since you first met.

jaehyun understood the true meaning of life, because he now had you.

[skzhocomments]

A Chance of Fate (Lee Know) - Chapter 4 - Blooming Feelings

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5

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Chapter 4 - Blooming Feelings

Chapter word count: 2.4k words

It’s been exactly three weeks since you met Minho and started living with him, and 19 days since you started taking daily walks with him and getting to know him. It’s also been 19 days since you noticed a feeling growing slowly from within your chest, and you truly disliked it. Not that it was unpleasant. It wasn’t. But you didn’t want to put a name to it, afraid that if you would, everything would change between you and him, and you’d end up with a broken heart. Or rather – a more broken heart.

You also started helping around at the restaurant as a server and sometimes in the kitchen if Minho had too many orders.

By now, you knew all the regulars and memorised their orders by heart.

Mr. Park would always come Monday-Friday at 6 PM sharp, just after finishing up at his job. He would always drink a glass of beer and eat Minho’s special recipe Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and on Tuesday and Thursday he’d drink 2 bottles of Soju and eat fried pork belly.

Mr. Cho would come every 2 or 3 days with his wife and eat some of Minho’s chocolate cake. He’d drink some wine, and she’d have a few cocktails, both of them leaving satisfied after each date.

You even met a few of Minho’s friends: Changbin (that you found out writes a lot of songs with Chris and Han), Seungmin (who went to the same Uni Han attends) and I.N. and his girlfriend. They would drop by, have a quick meal and chat a bit with Minho, but all of them were busy doing their own thing and wouldn’t stay for too long.

That was until tonight.

This Friday night, Minho closed up earlier, which you found unusual, especially considering that Fridays were one of the most profitable nights of the week for his business.

“My friends are coming.” He explained. “We meet here once a month to catch up. Ah, Jisung will be here too!” He smiled and started preparing different snacks and foods a few hours before their arrival.

“How many people will there be?”

“Well, there’s Chan and Olivia, Han, Changbin and Felix, I.N., his girlfriend Mary, Hyunjin, Changbin, Seungmin and Felix.”

“You counted Changbin twice!” you laughed.

“Well, he eats like two anyway!” he chuckled.

“Okay, then I’ll go ahead and set the plates for you.”

You grabbed some and started placing them on the big table Minho formed out from other tables.

After a few minutes, you placed 11 plates and 11 glasses, napkins, cutlery, and some soju bottles. You also grabbed some of the snacks Minho prepared. The table looked pretty nice, or at least adequate, you figured.

“Wow! This looks so much better than what I could’ve done! Good job, Dal-Rae!” he praised you and looked actually excited. “Everyone’s gonna be surprised by this, I never set the table or anything for these meetings. I think Jisung will be shocked.”

“Hahah, yeah. You prepare all this food and stuff, though!”

“But wait, why are there only 11 seats?”

“Well, you’re 11, right?”

“No, that’s not… right.” He replied while shaking his head disapprovingly.

“What do you mean? Chris, Olivia, Han, Changbin and Felix, I.N., Mary, Hyunjin, Seungmin, Felix and you. That’s 11.”

“Dal-Rae, we’re 12.”

“No, you’re 11. Did I count it wrong? Chris, Olivia-”

“No, dummy. You counted right. But you forgot your seat.” He ruffled your hair and grabbed another plate, placing it on the table.

“Oh- Am I… invited, though?” you asked unsure.

“What? Why wouldn’t you be-”

“SURPRISEEE!” a familiar voice shouted loudly and busted through the door.

“Jisung, what the heck?” Minho chuckled.

“Lee Know, Lee Know, Lee Know, I came to rescue you from your misery of having to set up the tab- What the fuck, man? This looks so beautiful, what? When did you learn how to manage without me?” he whined and faked a cry.

“It’s all her!” Minho pointed at you and bowed jokingly.

“Dal-Rae, just who I wanted to see! I missed you sooooo much!” he hugged you tightly.

“Don’t you text me everyday, though?” you chuckled, hugging the boy who quickly became your best friend back. “Although you didn’t even tell me you’re coming.”

“Wait, you’re texting her?” Lee Know raised an eyebrow.

“I do, but I still want to see you, Dal-Rae! I wanted to surprise you. Wow, getting big, are we?” he petted your belly and smiled, just when you felt a kick.

“Dude, don’t touch her like that-” Minho started and grabbed Han’s wrist, but was quickly interrupted.

“OMG! THE BABY JUST MOVED! THE BABY JUST HIGH FIVED ME!”

“Yeah, it keeps doing it! Especially if I lay down. If it’s a boy, it must be a future football player or something!” you chuckled.

“Or a boxer! Or maybe it’s a girl and she likes dancing!”

“Seriously? Did it… kick?” Minho asked, surprised.

“Yes!” Han exclaimed. “Oh my god, this is the most beautiful thing ever!!! What the heck. Wow. The miracle of life.”

You noticed something shift in Minho’s eyes. Jealousy? It can’t be. Curiosity? Maybe he wanted to feel the baby’s kicks too but didn’t know how to ask.

“Do you… want to…”

“No, no, I’m fine.” He quickly denied.

“Oh…” You frowned. You didn’t expect him to reject the idea so openly. Was he that uncomfortable with touching you, or was he just hesitating?

“I mean- I don’t want you to be uncomfortable-”

“I’m not! You don’t make me uncomfortable, so you can-”

“Seriously, guys? What the heck is wrong with y’all?” Han sighed and grabbed Minho’s hands and pulled him towards your belly.

You found it a bit amusing how Minho was always putting on a brave face, but now, looking at you, he seemed so unsure.

Was he really allowed to touch you? He knew Olivia hated people placing their hands all over her belly, she barely let Chan touch her, much to his dismay, so Minho never insisted, although he couldn’t deny that he was curious. And he hasn’t really had other chances to interact with pregnant people or to be close enough to someone as to ask.

For Minho, this felt… personal, in a way.

“I…”

“It’s okay.” You said and grabbed his hands that were hovering mere centimetres in front of your belly, placing them against you firmly.

His hands were cold, you noticed, and the expression on his face was expectant. Luckily for him, the baby seemed to be active today, so another kick came pretty quickly, making Minho open his mouth in shock and excitement.

“Oh! Wow!” he smiled brightly and looked into your eyes.

He was so beautiful. Of course, you’ve noticed that when you first saw him. But this? Fuck, your heart was not prepared for this.

The way he looked at you, the smile on his face, the way small creases formed around his eyes, mouth and nose, the way his cold hands felt on your warm belly…

This was too much to bear for your poor heart that was now running at 400 km/h.

The feeling came over you again, and you allowed yourself a second to wish that Minho was the father of your child instead. Then, you slapped yourself in your head and returned his smile.

Don’t be stupid, Dal-Rae.

“How’s that, Lee Know? Isn’t that great?” Han asked excitedly.

“Mhm.” He nodded happily.

“Makes me wanna have a kid too! That’s so unfair!!! Why don’t I have a girlfriend yet?” Han whined. “Dal-Rae, promise me you’re gonna make me the Godfather! Pretty please??”

“Oh! Would you want that? Like, for real?” you asked, this time you being the surprised one.

“YES!!! CAN I?”

“Dude, you’re too loud.” Minho covered Han’s mouth with his hand.

“Yeah, but isn’t it too quiet without me here?” he replied with a muffled voice, struggling to speak through Minho’s hands.

“Eww, don’t lick my hand! Gross!” Minho grimaced and let Jisung go.

“Han, I’d love it if you were my baby’s Godfather.” You replied, ignoring the small commotion and curses between the two.

“Oh my god!!! Really??? Lee Know!!! Did you hear that?? I’m gonna be the Godfather! This makes me a bit emotional.” He said, tearing up and hugging you.

“By the way, how’s Uni?” Minho asked, unimpressed.

“Wah, Dal-Rae, how are you holding up living with this asshole and his three asshole cats?”

“The cats are really nice, actually.” You replied with a chuckle.

“Hey! Just the cats? What about me?” Minho pouted, making you laugh.

“You… you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” You smiled and quickly corrected yourself, afraid he would misunderstand. “Both of you.”

Or rather, you were afraid he would understand.

It was true. Minho is the best thing that ever happened to you. And the fact that the “is” would soon turn into a “was” truly broke you, but you knew you couldn’t stay here forever.

It was stupid of you to get used to Minho’s presence and to depend on him so much. He was not the father of your child, so you had no right to live in your made-up fantasy that he was and that he would keep taking care of you.

After all, in less than 6 weeks, your baby would be born. Until then, you’d have to get a new job, search for a place for you two and get your life together.

How were you going to do this? You weren’t sure.

~

“Dal-Rae, I was not expecting to see you tonight! How are you?” Olivia approached you rather coldly. Although she was smiling, you could tell how forced it looked. Maybe Minho shouldn’t have invited you after all.

“I’m good, thank you. What about you? Were you busy at the shop lately?”

“Oh, yeah! Very! By the way, this is Chris, I believe you still haven’t met him yet? Chris, honey, this is Dal-Rae, the girl that came with Minho to the store the other week. Oh! Hyunjin!” she exclaimed, noticing a tall frame enter the door. She left you and Chan alone and ran over to the younger, jumping up and ruffling his hair affectionately.

“Ohhhh, yes, I remember Olivia telling me about you coming to the store. I’m Chan, or Chris, whichever you prefer. Nice to meet you!” he said, turning his attention to you.

“The pleasure is mine. I’ve heard a lot about you from Minho and especially from Han. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”

“Good things I hope!” he chuckled.

“Yeah, nothing to worry about.” You returned his laugh and pointed him towards the table. “You can sit down if you’d like.”

“Do you live around here? It’s pretty late, so I’m just surprised that you’d come, considering you’re pregnant and all. I remember Olivia barely had any energy to interact with others, especially at this hour. She would sleep like a log.” He chuckled and affectionately took a glance at his wife.

“She lives here.” Han came from behind you and placed his arm around your shoulder.

“Really?” Chan asked, his face forming a slight frown that you would’ve missed have you not observed him so closely. “That’s great! Uhm… will you excuse me for a moment?” he brushed over you and headed towards the kitchen.

“Don’t mind him so much, Dal-Rae. He’s just trying to look out for Lee Know. Chan can get really protective of his friends, and Minho is like a little brother to him.” Han whispered.

“I… know. But… he doesn’t have anything to worry about. It’s true that Minho is helping me, but I would never take advantage of him. I will try to move out as soon as possible, before the baby comes. I promise.”

“Wait, what? When’s that?”

“In less than 2 months, so there’s really nothing to worry about. I’ll be gone soon.”

“What do you mean?” Han frowned. “How? Where?”

“I don’t… uhm… Minho is paying me way more than he should, I’m sure, so I do have a little wiggle room…”

“Did you tell Minho about this? That you’re planning to leave…?”

You were the one to frown hearing this question. How could you tell him and burden him even more with worry?

Trying to push aside the sinking feeling in your chest, you smiled briefly and muttered a quiet “Soon” with a shake of your head.

~

“Hey, man. The food looks great.” Chan approached Minho.

“Oh, I didn’t know you'd already arrived. I’m stacking up these plates still!”

“Smells great too.”

“Thanks. I’m working on a new recipe, so you’ll be my guinea pigs tonight.” Minho chuckled.

“Listen… Olivia told me that you brought a girl back to the store…”

“Oh, yeah. Her name’s Dal-Rae. What about her? She’s here tonight if you wanna meet her.”

“I just did… she seems like a nice girl… but Minho, Han said she lives here. Is that true?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’m just gonna ask you this once. Are you… the father of her child?”

Right. The elephant in the room.

Lee Know sighed. “I’m sure Olivia already told you about it.”

“She did, but I want to hear it directly from you.”

“If she did, then you know the answer. No, I’m not the father of her child.”

“Then… what are you doing?”

“What am I doing?” Minho dropped everything from his hands and faced his friend.

“You know what I mean.” Chan replied sternly, frowning.

“No, I don’t.”

“Minho, don’t play dumb. Letting her stay here and eating your food? Paying hundreds of dollars for things for her?”

“What was I supposed to do then, hm? Let her go and pretend I didn’t notice she needs help? You didn’t see her when she first came in! She was full of bruises-”

“I’m sure we can find other ways to help her. We’ll contact a women’s shelter and-”

“We’ve already tried that route, smarty-pants.” Minho sneered. He was feeling irrationally angry. “And you know what happened? Nothing. There was no place for her.”

“But even so, hear me out.”

“No. I decided to help her. I can’t let her down now. Not when her due date is so close.”

“Minho-”

“Chris. I’m serious about it. She will stay here, and I will help her.”

“Why? What got you so worked up for this girl, man? You’re still young, you have time to find someone else.”

“You should know better than anyone that I don’t want someone else after what happened.”

“But still, this isn’t right for you.” Chan frowned. “I just wanna look out for you, man. If you’re doing this for her just for pity… That’s not right either.”

“That’s how it was at first, but now? I don’t know… I think I… for the first time in so long, I think…”

Minho wasn’t sure if he was able to admit that out loud, but Chan’s raised eyebrow made him confess with a sigh:

“I think I’m in love with her.”

~

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5

[hmasfatty]

Good morning tumblr! I just got email confirmation that my application to withdraw from this semester’s university units has been accepted (not sure what they thought I was going to do if they didn’t accept it? Go “oh ok” and just keep showing up to class?????) which my is my first step in my slightly long winded and over complicated plan to drop out of university entirely within the next six months.

Those of you who have been around for a while might say “but Clare, haven’t you been working on your degree for six and a half years?” or “don’t you only have two years left?” or “but Clare, isn’t Public Health one of your life’s greatest passions?” to which I would have to reply “yeah, but university is actually hell”. Basically COVID ruined university for me in multiple ways and I’ve been struggling ever since it hit and it all just got too much (having a lecturer who was an anti-vaxxer for two semesters in a row definitely didn’t help) and I became the living embodiment of this meme

I’ve already spoken to some people about increasing the amount of work I do at one of my volunteering jobs (which is actually somewhere I’ll get to use stuff I learned in my degree) and I’m looking around for other opportunities to keep myself busy with things that aren’t medical appointments. I’m really sad that uni didn’t work out for me. I absolutely loved my first two years of my degree and I had plans for further study. But it was not meant to be.

If you are suffering something that you used to love but that has now become a torment, let this be a sign to you that QUITTING IS OK AND GOOD. YOU CAN DO IT! 💖💖💖

[catgirlbussy]

holy shit i just realised im autistic

i know this seems like a shitpost, and tbf i am laughing at myself pretty hard rn. it's dawning on me at 6 AM after being awake all night, but (if you care, and if you don't feel free to ignore too, have a nice day!) hear me out, cause this genuinely feels meaningful and insightful for me with how my life has gone so far. I spent an hour writing this post in hopes someone might find it helpful too :3c

If you don't wanna read my post pls enjoy this picture of our famous friend autism baby stackin those cans before you go~♪

(source: wikipedia)

l

like i already /knew/ I was before this moment, but i was thinkin about what i used to do as a kid and wow i am so autistic how the fuck did i not realise sooner. It straight up wasn't until I was already well into my 20's that I started to meet other autistic people online and learned about their experiences and difficulties from talking with them that I realised a lot of things they described matched for me too.

I live in assfuck nowhere so most of my life the only few times that I had met autistic people were like, folks who were nonverbal or whatever, just generally needing direct assistive care, and I never bothered to look things up on my own because I was already inundated with the pressures of growing up, school, mental health, etc. I remember one of the first times I had built up the courage to ask anyone about it, I was in the hospital because of mental health issues. This was in my second year uni, and when one of the doctors assessing me was asking me questions, I said I thought maybe I was autistic. He promptly and with a fair amount of snark told me that if I was autistic I wouldn't have gotten into university.

Thinking back, he was probably just an exhausted, fresh outta school resident with no special interest in psychiatric care (and also just seemed to suck in general), but it was enough that I shelved the idea for another 5 years.

Lo and behold, now I am lying here in bed, just absolutely gobsmacked by the VERY REAL idea that im autistic and like holy shit I feel so vindicated.

I've been on tumblr for just a bit, but I see a lot of folks talking in various neurodivergent circles about their experiences and that's been so wonderful for me. I also have a few good friend groups w/ a lot of neurodivergent folks, and that's been really exciting too.

Like, I'm still processing this cognitively as I'm writing, so please pardon this ill patterned post, but this feels like such a beneficial thing for me. Over time I've adapted a few strategies here and there to help myself accomplish various tasks, but now I feel so empowered to, like... actually figure stuff out.

Even after feeling confident I was autistic, it was this nebulous, floating concept in my head for so long of, "oh yeah im autistic or something idk," that I never really dedicated much effort to finding healthier ways to do things that didn't irk me or whatever. I don't feel like the label /itself/ is what is important to me here, but rather the awareness around why I do so many things in the ways that I do and that it's /okay/ that I do.

I don't want this post to go on too much longer, but I feel it's worth noting that I've fought for years with my family because they didn't understand why I was going about things the way I did. Again, remember, they all grew up in this cloistered hellhole too. But, surprise surprise, the times in my life that I have been doing better than any other are when I felt confident enough to ignore what everyone was trying to get me to go along with and instead just fashioned my own best methods (which also sometimes included informing said overbearing individual(s) to go fuck themselves cause I'm busy doing shit. It's hard for them to argue with me telling them as much when I would be completing X objective well, which is what they wanted in the first place).

I don't want to make this sound like I'm trying to be overconfident, but I mention as much instead as a sign of support for other neurodivergent folks to feel similarly empowered to drum to their own beat. Thinking back, I went from almost failing high school and ultimately retaking a grade to excelling in all my classes. Every single one. I know that's a relative assessment, you got variable difficulty levels, etc., and the grade score isn't important in and of itself, least of all because the school systems here (Canada) are a mess it seems, but just that alone as an idea, within the parameters of a particular system, I went from initial abject failure to thorough and lauded success.

Just think of what so many people could do if they weren't being pigeonholed into formats that absolutely aren't working for them.

I already have a boatload of (genuinely helpful by way of enabling access to proper education and treatment) diagnoses from my history of working with my (very wonderful and genuinely caring and helpful) psychiatrist that match with what I know about the neurodivergence term umbrella like ADHD, OCD, and bipolar, so it seems |autism| will feel quite at home in the group ^w^. I'll ask her about it at my next appointment to see if an official diagnosis has any value versus me just continuing to figure things out on my own.

Either way, I am thrilled right now thinking about the next time I get to shout

"FUCK YOU IM DOING AUTISTIC SHIT"

while an electric guitar squeals and lightning strikes all around me and I make cool stuff happen :3c.

[atomra]

oh~ ! We can ask about Neuro too? Nice! My question is! How much do you love Neuro and what made you like him so much! Go nuts! Gush as much as you want!

Oh. Um well... a lot. To say it simply. LMAOOOO!!!! But Ill answer the specific question first before I ramble on and on.

I got into majin tantei nougami neuro from the anime first, fell in love with the macabre, psychological horror aspect and needed more! I started to read the manga and noticed how different it was from the show, and how bad the show was in comparison. The dark humour is hilarious, I love the looney tunes style vs the dark subjects of the plot. And the ending of the manga is one of the most satisfying ends of a story I have ever seen in media!

I didn't actually get that attached to Neuro right away, but he grew on me like a cancer and now hes stuck there forever. I also love the main MC Yako! She's an absolute delight of a character and matches with Neuro perfectly. I need more of their weird sadomaso relationship <333 (I love most of the characters actually)

Ultimately I fell in love with this work because it's incredibly unique. I haven't read anything that comes close to the balance Matsui was able to make of the crazy, silly, dark, and story of personal growth that comes out of MTNN!

Okay now under the cut I will ramble about Neuro Nougami in particular because it will probably be long:

-

Neuro Nougami I didn't actually like as much before, because back when i first read mtnn i didnt know i was into bdsm and stuff. I also wasnt that okay with his tortures, because I used to be uncomfortable with liking villian-ish characters before I went to uni and learned more about the world.

Oh, how that changed.

On the face of his character he is silly, OP, selfish, arrogant, and a fucking asshole that hurts people for fun. And even when you get into his character, he is still all of those things, BUT I like him particularly for a few key features.

His curiosity and willingness to fail at something new. Neuro has basically no shame + all the confidence in the universe. He doesn't see anything wrong with failing or looking stupid. Its very endearing. You don't see that... if ever in other overconfident/intelligent sided characters. His pride never gets in the way of learning, because he loves to learn!! He's a bird!! Birds love to learn and often look like idiots doing it. (I love birds)

His want to find use in people, even if he only sees them as pawns. Don't get me wrong, he is an asshole and is MEAN on PURPOSE, but he does like to see the best in people. He wants them to be better and pushes people to become better. Neuro also puts respect in people that show this growth. Just like how he HATES when people give up.

His trust in people despite his need for control. Seriously, like this man is controlling as hell, but he still can put trust in people to do certain jobs for him and deliver.

And his way of learning where people's lines are despite his need to torture, harm, and push information out of people. Neuro never truly puts Yako in real harm (debatable) and he eventually learns where her loyalties lie and how to adjust to them. He learns to be good with people even though he has no understanding of human emotion. (so he says, he still feels emotions he just doesnt GET it)

THAT HE'S STILL SILLY AND NEVER BREAKS HIS COMPOSURE!! I LOVE THAT HE NEVER YELLS OR GETS SUPER MAD IN THE WAY YOU WOULD EXPECT A PERSON WITH OP POWERS TO GET!!! It makes him... so fucking scary. You never see where his limits are. You never see how much power he really has. You never get to see how far he will go to hurt somebody that wronged him. You only get tastes and its so fucking effective. I wish more characters were like this. Make me wonder!!

And of course, I love neuro for his weird use of bdsm. Its clear in Matsui's other work that he's done research, despite how comical and looney tunes it is displayed in MTNN by neuro. But my second read of MTNN when i was older now, I realized just HOW MUCH of neuro and yako's relationship is just... an odd bdsm thing. LMAO!!!

And I didn't realize how much that really engraved into my brain when i was younger until i read it over again. It made so much sense. For all the previous facts I mentioned, neuro is the only anime character who's threats I can actually take seriously. Because he is genuinely scary to me. That 'discomfort' as a kid made me realize stuff nowadays. Whoops!!! I love him because he freaks me out!!

Alucard gets so close, but not as hard hitting as Neuro. And I also like that he has a level of morality, and isnt just all fucking evil or gross. He's just a weird demon who eats mysteries.

Sighs, anyways I could go on but Ill leave it there for now. Thanks for asking!!! I love him!!!!!!!!!!!! He's so fun to dissect as a character!

Oh, and I hate his fucking suit. Burn that shit off. He's a weird goth and everybody knows it.

[cordelia---rose]

15 questions for 15 friends

i was tagged by the wonderful @johaerys-writes, thank you so much!

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: nope! my mother found a book of rare names, wrote down a whole bunch, and my father only liked one of them. fun fact, only three people in the entire world have the same first name as me ⭐

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: oh man in terms of like any tears at all…like this morning because my PMDD is hitting me hard at the moment and i saw my dog being cute and it was all too much for me but in terms of a big, proper cry…probably a couple of weeks?

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: i am actively filled with repulsion and dread at the thought of having children so it’s a good thing i don’t

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: i used to play hockey, netball, tennis and rounders at school and then whatever they made us do in PE but i’m not a huge sports person, especially not teams ones!

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: too much. i realised in my teens that if i’m deliberately deadpan and sarcastic all the time, people just think it’s funny and don’t look at me weirdly when i’m having an especially autistic day and can’t mask well because it just blends into my usual demeanour. everyone at work thinks i’m very dry and sarcastic when actually it’s mostly just me failing to understand social cues.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: gosh honestly i really don’t know. although i do pay a lot of attention to people’s smiles, i think you can learn a lot about a person by how they smile. whether it’s forced or natural, if their eyes smile too, if they hold their happiness back or let it come out unrestrained, etc., so i’ll go for smiles!

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?: boring boring blue

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: can we not have both? i’ll always have to pick scary movies though because horror is my favourite genre, but i love a final girl ending!

ANY TALENTS?: ooh this is tough because for me a talent is something you’re just naturally good at, but the things that other people would probably say i have a natural talent for are my hobbies which i’ve worked at for a long time so i wouldn’t be able to say if it’s an innate talent or just a skill i’ve honed. i think i’ll probably say playing the double bass (or upright bass in the USA) - i tried it out at a musical open day thing at my school and decided i liked it, and then twelve weeks later i sat a music exam for it and passed with top marks despite it usually taking several years to get to that point!

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: england. i was doomed from the start.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?: my main ones would be writing, reading, gaming, obsessively researching and then yapping about my special interests, and baking! i also do some crafty stuff when the mood strikes (i’m not really very good at it, but that’s chill, because it’s just for fun) and i’m not sure if it counts as a hobby but i love going on the trampoline!

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: i have my dog who is simultaneously the reason i get up in the mornings and the reason i don’t want to get up in the mornings, and also a crested gecko who mostly just vibes doing her own thing.

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: 5’7”/1.70m

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: this changed so drastically over the years! when i was younger it tended towards history, then when i started secondary school i still loved history but classics became my main area of interest, but after i decided i didn’t want to pursue a career in that field i cast about a little bit and realised that while i hated, like, plant biology and chemical reactions, i was really into specific aspects of science and that’s what i’m studying at uni now!

DREAM JOB?: forensic anthropologist, i’m undertaking my master’s in this and i really hope i get to have a career in this one day, it’s my life’s ambition.

Tagging (i barely talk to anyone on here lmao so it's definitely going to be fewer than 15! also there's with no pressure): @stressedanime @royalthorned @a-good-sandwich @toy-soldiering @claudiadiary

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 14: DREAM CATCHER - Episode 21: Brain And Brawn

Miyazaki: Well then, we shall take a twenty-minute break here.

Miyazaki: The first part was mostly focused on physical expression.

Miyazaki: Next, we will have you split into groups and discuss role-building based on the script you will be given.

Miyazaki: At the end, we will have all groups actually perform. I look forward to seeing the results.

Participant A: Agh~ This is too much…

Participant B: I’m so tired… And there’s more to go…

Participant A: I can’t keep myself standing anymore…

Kumon: Whew~ I worked up a sweat~!

Muku: This kinda reminds me of track and field club training.

Kumon: Same! It’s kinda nostalgic, so I’m having fun!

Muku: Banri-san did say that even though the directors' workshop he participated in was tough, the one for actors is much more physically demanding.

Kumon: We’ve got the stamina for it, I think we’ve got this!

Muku: Yup, let’s do our best! Kazu-kun and Tenma-kun must also be working hard abroad as we speak.

Kumon: Alriiight, we’re not losing to them~!

-

Muku: I was pretty confident in my physical stamina, but my legs won’t stop shaking now.

Kumon: I used up all my brain cells and got hungry~...

Muku: This really reminded me that acting needs you to use both your brain and your body to the fullest.

Kumon: Yeah. I think I’ll get a good night’s sleep tonight.

Muku: Definitely. Let’s review a bit of what we did today to prepare for tomorrow before we go to bed.

Kumon: You’re right!

Muku: By the way, Kyu-chan, you did amazing in the physical expressions for the first part.

Kumon: I’m good at using my body~ But, Muku, you were so good at the second part’s discussion for the role-building!

Kumon: You could point out things no one else had noticed, and I kept being like, “I see~”!

Muku: Ehehe, thanks. Let’s do our best tomorrow too.

Kumon: Yeah!

-

Juza: Welcome back.

Kumon: We’re back, Nii-chan!

Muku: We’re back, Ju-chan.

Juza: The food’s ready. Tsuzuru-san made simmered pork today.

Kumon: Yay! I’ll get lots of refills!

Juza: Also, I got chocolates from that shop we’ve been eyeing, if you wanna have dessert.

Muku: Really? I’m so happy. I think I used my head a bit too much, because I’ve been craving something sweet. I can’t wait!

Juza: Looks like you worked hard. Tell me about it later.

Kumon: Okay! We got tired, but it was fun!

Muku: We learned lots.

-

Kumon: Ah~ I’m beat~ Maybe practicing by myself after the workshop was a bit too much…

Kumon: But this has been a super intense week~ Muku being with me made reviewing much more helpful, so it felt pretty satisfying.

Kumon: All that’s left is to practice by myself whenever I can, and give everyone some whiplash with how much I’ve grown when they get back~!

Kumon: Owowow… Some thorough stretching and a good massage would be so good right about now…

[Phone vibrating]

Kumon: Oh, it’s Yamaguchi.

[Kumon picks up]

Kumon: Hello?

Yamaguchi: “Ah, is now a good time?”

Kumon: Yup! Something wrong?

Yamaguchi: “Nah, we’ve just both been busy and haven’t talked much, so I was wondering what you’re up to.”

Kumon: Listen to this~ I’ve been going to a workshop, and it’s so physically demanding that I’m beat. What about you?

Yamaguchi: “I’m using up all my juice on uni baseball practice. We have a bunch of consecutive matches lined up, so it’s gonna be rough.”

Kumon: I’ll give you a massage next time we hang!

Yamaguchi: “Oh yeah, you’re good at this stuff, aren’t ya Kumon? You read lots of books and had the coach teach you.”

Kumon: I learned how my body works and how to prevent injuries, it was really interesting and useful.

Yamaguchi: “Actors also have to move around a lot during performances, so it’s pretty tough for you all too, right? Wouldn’t it be a good idea to do this to your troupemates too?”

Yamaguchi: “You guys also exert your bodies, so this would be good to prevent injuries.”

Kumon: I see…! You’re right. I’ll look a lil more into massages for actors!

Yamaguchi: “Good luck. I’ll come see your next play too.”

Kumon: Good luck at your matches too, Yamaguchi!

previous episode | masterpost | next episode

[ankhegs-in-my-salad]

I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, but I felt like I needed to get it off my chest.

My wonderful friend @tavyliasin made a lovely addition to this post about how important giving your friends positive feedback can be to people, specifically former gifted kids, and I wanted to chime in with my own addition but it got super long and wasn't even the original point of the post lmao so here I am.

Anyway, we got some awesome insight about how leaving your lovely feedback is especially beneficial to former gifted kids in the previous post. Under the cut - me rambling about why positive feedback means so much to me, the Chronically Mediocre Kid.

Growing up, I was always painfully mid. I worked my absolute ass off to get my passing grades, and I got them for the most part. I wasn't good enough to be told I was doing well and I wasn't bad enough to actually get any help. Got into uni by the skin of my teeth and my degree the same way. I was stuck in middle-of-the-road land and pretty much always have been, with the exception of one notable outlier in my late 20's.

Now, as the name would suggest, us Mediocre Kids are very easy to forget about. We're just kinda there, and there's a lot of us. The NPCs or the studio extras, filling out space in the background of the class.

So how does this tie into writing or art or fandom in general?

For myself, and probably a lot of other people like me, writing in fandom has been the first real time to get that positive validation beyond "congrats you passed! You achieved the bare minimum!" I didn't get it at school (the place where, upon telling my chemistry teacher that I wanted to study chemistry at uni, was told verbatim "but you have to be smart to study chemistry") and it certainly wasn't at uni (where I had to resit a year and where the defence of my dissertation started with the words "the first thing we hated about it was[...]").

God, looking back I wish I had started posting fan fic so much earlier. Yes, comments are few and far between but when you get them? Oh my god.

Now I want to preface this by saying - Yes, I know that "you shouldn't write for validation" and I absolutely don't. I've been writing since I could hold a pen and only started posting stuff for actual humans to read in October. Does my background sound like that of someone who expected to get validation from strangers online? You can bet your arse that isn't why I'm here. It was just an absolutely massive unexpected bonus.

Fan fiction sent me from "congrats on the bare minimum" to someone telling me my silly AO3 story was their favourite thing they'd ever read on that whole website.

Do you have any idea what that does to someone who has spent their whole life being "good enough"? "Fine"? "Passed"? I was never good or bad enough to receive attention. My performance always "unnoteworthy". And that was fine, I always told myself. Because, as mentioned above, I've always been doing stuff for me and me alone. I learned early there wasn't any point in doing it for anyone else. Do you know how it felt to have a complete stranger reach out to me through the Internet and tell me that something that I had done, something that I had created, had a profound effect upon them?

Folks, I fucking cried.

For someone like me, every single comment, kudos, tag, all of it, is incredibly special. Even a comment as simple as an emoji or "loved this". It puts a little piece into a void in me that I didn't even know was there. It makes me feel as though maybe, if I can make one person happy with my writing, bring someone that kind of joy, there is more to me than just "passing grade".

And let me tell you, I'm still not used to it. It's one of the most wonderful feelings. And if you feel it too, don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for "seeking validation" or whatever. We know that's not why we're here, but my goodness if it doesn't make a difference when we get it.

So, to anyone who has ever given kudos, made a comment, left a tag on a post, any of it - thank you. It means more than I think a lot of people could ever know.

[winryrockbellwannabe]

hey, first off all just wanna say your blog is so cool i love seeing you on my dash!

i was just wondering if you had any tips for first year students and how to manage time? i think that’s the aspect i have been struggling with the most is time management and getting enough sleep rn.

omg tysm!!! 💜💜💜 so glad you like my posts!! and hope your enjoying your 1st year so far <3

So, how to manage your time:

tbh I haven't understood it that well myself. Personally im a little time blind, so i coordinate my schedule based on tasks i have to do, instead of time.

So instead of: study physics for an hour, it could be something like: understand The Schrödinger equation or study 40 pages.

My only time blocks are: morning, afternoon (before snack time, before dinner) and before going to bed. Which i particularly like since it's more flexible, and if i didn't manage to accomplish everything, i can just move it a bit, instead of ruining the whole thing.

My planner usually looks like this: (it's a bit light, since i had classes all day both monday and today, but you get the idea)

But if you like to study in time blocks, my tip is to give them space to be flexible. So if you delay smth it doesn't ruin your entire schedule, and you won't be so stressed about the time as well.

For example, you think you'll take 1h to do this assignment? Save 1h30 for it, if you end up actually needing this extra time, then you're still in time. If you only needed 1h, you can take a break and move to your next task earlier than planned.

Alarms are a student's best friend for time tracking. And a bonus advantage is that it also forces me not to be on my phone, since i set the alarm in there, and it's a visual reminder that i should be working.

Another important thing to do is to ✨ prioritize✨ your tasks!! Your final exam is way more important than a report that's only 10% your grade. Sure, if you can do both it's perfect, but don't waste too much time perfecting smth that's not that important.

Oh, and if you feel like the way your professor explains isn't doing it for you, just forget about that class! It's a waste of time to be 2 hours in a classroom, not even understanding what the professor is saying and stressing about it. Just find some good notes, and study them in the library during that time instead.

Also, for the not enough sleep problem. I feel you. That was me in the second semester of 1st year. I would lose track of time, sometimes just procrastinating, and forget to sleep. My solution for that is ✨alarms✨. I usually wake up at 7:30, so everyday i have an alarm set for 23:00 to remind myself to go to sleep, and another for 24:00, just in case i ignored the first one lol. Really improved my sleep schedules.

(And a little extra (tho i intend to do a bigger post about this soon)

1st year tips in general: Find ways to be interested in your classes, so it's easier to study. Watch documentaries about it, discuss stuff with ppl that love that subject. Even if you are learning how to solve integrals so you can help your crush - totally not talking from experience. If it get's you motivated, then that's all that matters. DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS!!! I promise your professors aren't judging you, and if your classmates are, well, they won't be judging anymore when you ace that test. And force yourself to take breaks. I would put on my t.do list to watch an episode of a series daily, bc i would be so stressed i would forget to do that. And taking breaks it's super important.)

(sorry for the huge post, I really hope at least one tip in here will be useful for you. Thank you for the ask, and best of luck for this uni year!!! Feel free to ask anymore questions💜)

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

i hope I’m not bothering you by asking but i was just wondering about if they didn’t forget that dan and jenny were siblings in s3 (but still without changing the actual plot of the season tho, so like extra scenes) how do you think they would interact and scenes w/ them would be like? because i’m literally thinking about any time they ever interacted in s3 and the only two i can think of are a) in the episode of everyone trying to stop jenny from losing her virginity (which is weird) dan talks to jenny for two seconds before going over to vanessa and b) dan punching ch*ck (which was v satisfying to watch but like, any scene of them actually talking beforehand would’ve been great, thanks)

hiii you're not bothering me at all! i'm a bit late to respond to this because of like, medical reasons (all good now!) but i did want to respond to this eventually. i feel like i have already said something about the humphrey sibs but it's genuinely been so long that i barely remember what i said.

disclaimer that it is fuck o' clock in the morning so im not sure how coherent this ask is, also disclaimer that i havent watched gg in a while so i may be a lil out of touch.

trusting my mutuals to respond if anything i said makes no sense though kldfhgfdkl y'all know who you are you are the real ones

i think it'd be complicated but interesting if the humphrey sibs were there for each other consistently, because s3 is features queen jenny, and dan & vanessa being closer-than-before in uni, so i think there is some amount of distance in both their lives in terms of like. wondering why the other is doing whatever it is that they're doing. they're not both in high school any more, hell, they don't even live together any more, and dan for the first time in his life is a popular kid! jenny seems to be on top of the social hierarchy but of course nothing comes without a price! so there's like an inherent newness to both their situations which is unrelatable to the other. like however much dan wants to help jenny, or jenny wants to understand dan, they're both living thru stuff the other hasn't been through & so on. theyre in different eras of their lives, etc etc.

which isn't to say that they can't support each other, but it is to say that what that support would look like would be messy and confusing, i feel. they would have to actively learn how to be there for each other, or whatever else. there would be a learning period and also a "oh, you're not actually happy? i thought you were finally thriving what's wrong" kind of thing from dan @ jenny, possibly. because s3 is sad like that, it's a good time for dan (mostly??) and a horrible time for jenny.

i do think dan would not be okay with the way everyone is being oddly sexual towards jenny re: her virginity but like we see in 1x05 where he tells her off in front of her friends for wearing a dress that he compares to a cocktail napkin, sometimes he just .... does not realise that he is doing more harm than good/being misogynistic, etc. but as an anon once pointed out on here to me, comparing s1 dan to s3 dan isn't fair, because by the time we reach s3 dan HAS grown a lot as a character, and i honestly headcanon him to be far more feminist & thoughtful in how he treats the women in his life at that stage, compared to s1. so while i DO think he would take serious offense at how everyone treats jenny, i don't think he would fight for her in an obvious, confrontational way?

like. vanessa would. vanessa would literally SAY "what are you doing this is weird and invasive and creepy" but dan is non-confrontational to a fault. i do think he would like... do something about it in some other way, best case scenario talk about it to serenate alone, later, and tell them off, worst case scenario, classic gossip girl revenge plot where he gets them to break up or something silly like that. idk. don't look at me.

another thing that i think would be important / interesting is like. examining how all these relationships interact keeping the sibling bond in mind. because there was sooo much serena vs jenny tension in s3 and i feel it would've been interesting to actively explore how that was impacting both eric AND dan.

from an extra scenes perspective, i think honestly there would be? should be? conflict AND support. jenny's whole thing this season is that she is lashing out at her support system, isolating, trying to prove a point to the people around her. dan, as her big brother, is going to be extra protective probably, maybe even in ways that bristle her and piss her off. but at the end of the day, dan will drop anything & everything to be there for jenny (this is literally what we see of him in the pilot, in 1x01, so i think it's a foundational aspect of his character) so i think even if she tries to get him to fuck off, he will always love her & be there for her. unlike rufus humphrey, which im stil salty about.

oh, and that too. that's something i think about a lot. dan is caught in a strange space where his dad is civil to him but shitty to jenny, and... how does he navigate that? so much of jenny's behaviour in s3 makes sense to me when we look at the things she went thru in s1 and s2. so, for an interesting humphrey sibs arc i think the cumulative effect of all that keeping in mind how dan was / where he was at different points in jenny's story? and vice versa? those are things that can be layered and emphasized on to add more depth.

so yeah, sibling fights, sibling reconciliation, "what the fuck are you doing with your life" followed by "im sorry i did/said that, it was out of line for me" and maybe some gg schemery of taking down girls who are mean to jenny or getting georgie to leave dan alone together.

hope this answers it !I i am aware it is all over the place, hehe. whoops.

[alelelesimz]

SIMBLR ASK GAME:

thank you for tagging me @nefarrilou 🖤🖤🖤

🌸 What's your earliest memory of playing the sims?

my friend/neighbor had the sims 1 so we used to play together

💫 How did you discover the sims franchise?

because of that friend from above! she had two older brothers who had like, every video game ever so i learned about most games from my childhood from that

🍇 What was your first sims game?

although i loved ts1 i never got my parents to get it for me so the first one i actually owned was the sims 2! and after that probably some gba sims i think?

🍦 How long have you been playing the sims?

since forever lmao!

🧋 What is your favorite sims series?

i think for pc ts2 was the most fun to actually play, but i also really loved the handheld story based sims! the ones for ds and gba were ugh so good i wish they made more of those

🤍 Do you have a favorite sim created by you?

most of my ocs i adore but i'm especially obsessed with these two :p tinker my first simblr oc and vega my little guy. tiny even

🧸 Favorite townie?

probably candy behr and miko ojo :) i have a type

🍨 Do you have a sim self? If yes, do you play with them?

yeah this idiot. i don't play with them bc they're as annoying as i am irl

🫐How often do you play the sims?

play PLAY actually play, never lol. i just open the game and don't leave cas

🌱Do/Can you relate to any of your sims?

i have a couple that i relate a bit but idk not too much

🐬Favorite sims challenge?

any fun cas challenge i'm here for it

👜 What in-game career would you choose if you were a sim?

was there a video game streamer or something like that? hell yeah

🌷Which traits would you have if you were a sim?

hot headed, loner and creative (and moody & lazy)

🍮 Favorite thing to do in the sims?

put my sims in fun outfits :)

❄️ Favorite in-game season if you own The Sims 4 Seasons?

summer but later in the season when sims are not dying from being under the sun

❣️Do you talk about the sims with any of your friends/family members in real life?

yeah basically everyone in my life is a big nerd so me liking the sims is not the weirdest thing lol

✉️ How big is your mods folder?

oh god don't do this to me. 122gb

📱 What made you want to start a simblr?

i got ts4 back when it came out but i was graduating high school/figuring out uni stuff at that time so i didn't really get too into the online community until around 2018, i was looking for cc and realized all the good mm stuff was on tumblr and oh boy! there's a bunch of people here sharing fun sims posts hell yeah i'm staying here! so i ended joining simblr in 2019 :)

[esta-elavaris]

Nobody Knows

Okay, starting things off with something I wrote back in 2015 for my first creative writing class at uni. It's a short horror story, the assignment was literally just "write a short story with roughly 1.5k words" bc they were great with giving us serious freedom to write what we wanted to write, and this was what I came up with. I think it was the first 'serious' original short story I wrote, I was 18/19 at the time (so, disclaimer on that score if you're going to compare it to the stuff I'm posting now at almost-27 lolol), so the quality will probably reflect that, but it has sentimental value and a bit of other meaning to me, so I'm posting it as is. Definitely a "look at what I dredged up from the archives" kinda thing rather than a "wow isn't this great?" kinda thing.

I remember I went into that first semester, looked at the people in the class around me and just thought "oh god, I am so fucking out of my league here" -- but then, three months later, my course leader (who ended up being my personal tutor in the years that followed, and my favourite teacher across my whole degree) really enjoyed it and his very kind feedback resulted in the moment where I stopped and thought "man, maybe I actually have something going with my writing". It also ended up in my uni's Eng Lit magazine, which I still have a copy of for archival purposes ✨

Plus, if I reread it too closely to edit it to the quality I like to think I can produce now, I will end up convincing myself not to post it 💀 so here! Have some baby!writer stuff.

By the time I reached nineteen, I was scared of Nobody. That was what I called him - Nobody. My own private little joke.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Nobody.”

“Who are you staring at?”

“Nobody.”

Not a lie, but not a response that would get me thrown into the nearest mental hospital. I considered that a win/win. It also described him accurately – for he didn’t seem to have a body. All I ever saw of him was shadow. Sometimes it would be clearer, forming a silhouette, and other times he’d just be an ever-shifting mass of darkness. I’d been too young to be frightened by his appearance when I first found him in my grandmother’s attic. I’d thought my cousin’s tales of hauntings in the house had always just been made up to scare me, but regardless, Nobody didn’t scare me – not at first.

By the time he did, I’d known him for a decade, and had only resented him for two of those years. The resentment began at my seventeenth birthday party. Before then, having a negative thought about Nobody was utter blasphemy in my book. I would never allow a bad word to be said about my guardian, protector, teacher and presumed imaginary friend. Not one. My mother would suggest that I was too old for this behaviour, and that it was time for Nobody to go away, only for me to go ballistic. I learned to keep him to myself after that, but my good opinion only strengthened, if anything. What could be bad about somebody, living or not, who was so willing to protect me? Who toppled over the chairs my bullies sat in? Who snuck me the answers I needed in tests? It was absurd, but I kept my mouth shut, and as far as everybody else was concerned, my imaginary friend vanished. It meant little to me – it wasn’t like any of them could see him in the first place.

Then things changed. What was meant to be the best night of my life turned out to be the worst. No parents, no neighbours, no rules. Just lots of booze, music and fun. Or so I thought. The first hint that something was awry was when all of the alcohol became mysteriously unavailable to us. Packs of beer would end up in locked cabinets, with the keys nowhere to be found. Bottles of vodka would fling themselves towards the sink and smash there, any potential source of amusement quite literally down the drain.

Then came the issue of the music. My best friend spent the entire evening wrestling with the CD player, wondering why it would refuse to play certain songs (the ones I knew Nobody hated), or why the volume refused to go any higher than, a pretty pathetic, “six”. The final straw was when every guy at the party suddenly became dramatically ill. Every single one. Headaches, vomiting fits, fevers, or even just a sense of pure unease. They needed little motivation to leave such a pathetic party in the first place. Within an hour, the only guests left were my two best friends. My seventeenth birthday bash had been demoted to a sleepover worthy of a ten year old.

After that, Nobody became less of a trusted ally and more of a domineering parent. Where I used to look at my hungover friends with a smug smirk, happy that Nobody had prevented me from drinking enough to end up in that state, I now looked at them with envy. They were normal. They drank too much and endured the consequences. When they were too lazy to study for tests, they failed. Life was difficult and it was unfair and they complained about it relentlessly. But that was what made it fun. They had to think about their next move, take responsibility for themselves. If they forgot their keys, they’d be locked out – they didn’t have any ghost to open the door for them. Without the dark you find yourself unable to appreciate the light, and so life became unbearably boring. I knew that whatever was approaching me in life, it would be fine. Nobody would handle it, whether I wanted him to or not. I hated it, and I hated him for it. My life was no longer mine to control, but instead belonged to somebody who was dead. How twisted was that? Each day was monotonous, and I found myself learning little - if that - from the limited life experience I had. I made no attempt to have an eighteenth birthday party.

Spurred on by thoughts of my failed seventeenth birthday party, and non-existent eighteenth, I made my decision. On the night of my nineteenth I took a lighter to the living room curtains, setting the place on fire. In the grand scheme of things it seemed like a perfectly safe and reasonable thing to do in the name of distraction. By time the blaze was out and smoke stopped billowing out of the window, I was already down the street, peering out at my home from behind a wheelie bin to make sure that I wouldn’t be returning to the charred skeleton of the house at the end of the night.  What I did return to, however, was a foreboding mass of shadow that I was too scared to tear my eyes away from. His presence had gone from endearing to terrifying in seconds flat.

My bedroom was trashed. Books were scattered on the floor, my clothes were strewn around any and every surface available. Even the door had a long, jagged splinter running up through the middle. Nobody made no move, no attempt at communication. Instead he stood stock-still in the corner, shadows bristling.

I didn’t sleep at all that night, instead sitting up in bed, staring at the void that was once my dearest companion with a sense of dread filling my chest. Hours later, when my drunkenness gave way to a fierce headache, all of the painkillers in the house had mysteriously vanished. I’d hoped it would end there, the same way arguments with my parents went. I’d lie, they’d be angry, eventually we’d all forget about it and move on. Nobody wasn’t the type to move on.

That’s where the decision to get rid of him came from. I couldn’t handle it. The constant hounding of my steps, the uncomfortable atmosphere, the lack of sleep. Sure, without him my life would be mundane and ordinary, but what was I with him? An adult with no decisive powers and an enforced bedtime.

When the day came, I kept up the façade marvellously. Nothing was out of the ordinary, and as far as he knew I was simply visiting a new friend at her apartment. Nobody didn’t show any sign of realising something was up until it was too late.

“That’s it?” I asked the ‘mystic’ dubiously as she finished burning incense and tracing odd symbols on my arms with the ash.

“That’s it,” she waved a hand “You may leave. He cannot follow.”

Nobody’s head shot up in clear alarm. His silhouette jerked towards me, but didn’t move. Couldn’t move. His head snapped between the old woman and I, almost like he was watching a tennis match, before it settled on me again and he unsuccessfully tried to move. The shadows around him spiked outwards.

“Oh, hush! You have no power here!” the old woman snapped impatiently.

I paid her as promised, but kept my gaze on Nobody. It was a weird feeling. Like seeing a caged tiger at a zoo. So much power, but no ability to use it. He’d gone from running my life, to being unable to take even a single step in my direction, all thanks to a bit of ash and some fancy words. For half a second, I faltered. I wanted to apologise to him. Pleasant memories surfaced – my toys putting on shows for me as a child, dancing on invisible strings, or even not having to pay to use the tube, as the ticket gates opened on their own upon my approach. But then the shadows spiked angrily again, and the regret was replaced by the more familiar fear.

When I walked out of that apartment, for the first time in ten years I was truly alone. I was truly free. Free to make my own decisions and live outside of Nobody’s grasp. It was then that life decided to catch up on all the years’ worth of lessons it had been unable to teach me until then. My freedom lasted four minutes. If I’d had Nobody with me, he’d have noticed the car that I failed to until it was too late, so used to not even having to look before I crossed the road. The last thing I saw was his dark silhouette, standing motionless in the window overlooking the street.

[active-mind-15]

Hi ! I'm curious, which languages are on your to learn list if you don't mind me asking ?

Oh, hello!!

So the three that I want to learn are Japanese, Korean, and Igbo.

I actually tried teaching myself ages ago in like 2017 because my first year of uni ended super early in like May and I didn't start the next academic year until October that same year and so I was really bored and just decided to learn Japanese. I'd always been curious about it since I was a big anime fan but that was the year I genuinely tried. I ended up printing off a bunch of worksheets to practice with and I even made flashcards and stuff, but once classes started back up again I got busy and so was unable to to pick it back up. It was a shame because I managed to teach myself the entire Hiragana alphabet, but now I've forgotten some of the characters. I'll try again at a later point.

Then Korean became a point of interest because I'm a big fan of BTS and their lyrics touched me so deeply I wanted to learn even a bit of the language to appreciate BTS's lyrics in their original form without anything getting lost in translation. I taught myself the alphabet for that, too, and to an extent I can read and write in Korean, but I'm nowhere near fluent and would like to fix that as well.

The last is Igbo for the very obvious reason of it being my parents' native language (it's one of the most common languages in Nigeria along with Yoruba and Hausa). It's always been something I've wanted to learn for some time since growing up in the US meant I didn't really pick it up, but the frustrating thing is that there are way fewer resources, so teaching myself can only get me so far. I've been looking up other methods and have found there are online tutors/courses I could take, so I was thinking about pairing that with any self-teaching I do with books and the like. Another roadblock is the fact that learning Igbo from books and courses will only teach you Central Igbo, but my parents speak a specific dialect of Igbo used in their hometown down south, so I'd still have to tweak what I teach myself to match their dialect. It's a work in progress, but I'm hoping to buy some vocab and grammar books soon to get started. One day when I have kids, I'd ideally like to pass on the language to them as well.

Technically, I could say that I want to learn four languages because I learned Spanish from age 4 up until age 15, but I fell out of practice after that and my Spanish is very meh right now. I can still read and write it just fine but I can tell my lexicon has shrunk. I should maybe rebuild it when I have time.

That's the thing with me. So many things I want to do, but never enough time! If you've got any advice for me, I'd love to hear it. 😭

[magicalgirlmascot]

Alright I think this is the last of the old Metru Uni designs I found so here we go

So this had been brought up a bit in the fic but not to the point where anything was done with it, but the Mata were the Metru's younger siblings in this AU. I remember Tahu had been mentioned, Lewa and Gali had shown up briefly, and Kopaka was in one of the side stories, but I don't think Onua or Pohatu were in there at all. Pohatu might have been? I don't remember. The plan was to have them all become Toa eventually, too, but not to have secret identities, I think. I remember someone commenting on this on deviantart back in the day being like "ummmm if this is supposed to be like a group photo why do some of them have their eyes closed" and I was like "my guy have you never seen an anime"

Oh god welcome back to Shojo Legs Time. So I'm not 100% sure why, but I made Takua and Hahli adopted siblings in this for some reason? No idea what the thought process was there. I don't think any of these characters actually appeared in the fic (I don't even think they showed up in any side stories) but I do remember writing stuff about them, it just never got published because it was set to happen way the fuck down the line. You know, Mask of Light stuff. Also for some reason Hahli went to a private girl's school. Not sure what my thinking was there. Love Takua's absolutely vacant expression. No thoughts head empty. Jaller and Takua were Tahu's best friends, and Hahli was one of Gali's best friends.

So this was around when those "keep ___ and carry on" things were popular and I did steal this one directly from a Professor Layton advertisement, but also in my defense Nuparu would love Professor Layton games so there. I think the idea was that Hewkii was into just like All Sports so he'd always be seen doing different sports every time we saw him. Not that either of them ever showed up in the fic. The idea was that (most of) the Inika were the Mata's best friends, so Nuparu was Onua's best friend and Hewkii was Pohatu's, which was all well and good but the fic was focused on the Metru so they never got to do anything lmao.

Yes Macku's last name was a Yugioh reference :P She and Hahli were Gali's besties, Kopeke was Matoro's only friend, and Ehrye was the kid who bullied Matoro in school. The only one who showed up in the fic itself was Ehrye because he did have a minorly important role, but also Macku got to be in a side story that was about her and Hewkii because of course it was

Okay so here are some of the Metru's friends. Kapura never showed up proper, but Vakama made reference to him, and it was generally accepted that he was pretty much Vakama's only friend before college. I think the idea was he was on the track team lol. Vhisola was obviously Nokama's best friend and actually DID show up in the fic itself, but is such a massive case of wasted potential that it just makes me sad. She should've been Nokama's roommate. Kongu was Matau's best friend, and I think they were in a band together in high school before Matau went to college. He is currently hanging around with Tamaru and Lewa, all of whom got like 30 seconds of fame in the fic. Hafu was Onewa's friend from high school, and also showed up for a bit in the fic, but mostly just to introduce Ahkmou, who I don't think I ever drew. Whoops. Kapura really does just look like A Guy here and I love that for him.

Alright so Matoro was Nuju and Kopaka's younger brother, which I think makes him the youngest character in the fic? Not sure. He had a part time job at a pet store, because of course he did. Again only showed up in a side story, but Nuju talked about him a fair bit. Ihu was in one (1) side story where we learned that he was Nuju's only friend pre-college but that he'd died a while before they graduated high school. So. Yeah. Onepu and Taipu were twins and Whenua's friends, but they did not show up at all nor were they even mentioned I don't think. Sorry guys. Taipu my beloved I can't believe I abandoned you like this

I'll be honest I have no idea what I was going for here. This is what I thought was the height of fashion in 2011. Kiina was an international student and also Nokama's roommate for some reason and I'm still mad that I did that instead of making Vhisola an actual character aaaaaaah Kiina I love you but you have no business being here I'm sorry

That's it for designs, maybe one day I'll throw the chapter and a half of manga that I made on here somewhere, thank you for coming with me on this journey of self-rediscovery