#oh well. the time will pass anyways.
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these last few hours are excruciating i feel like a caged tiger and now i got an email saying a cancellation request is being processed (??????) so idk wtf is going on w that but regardless i still won’t be playing it on release day unless the postal system just wants to magically work tomorrow and it will be nov 4 at the earliest (or never??? i guess???) THE WAITING HURTS ITS THE KIND OF BOREDOM THAT IS PHYSICALLY PAINFUL
#ill get over it just let me have my histrionics first#like im doing extra for work and classes to fill up the time and distract myself#that’s the level we’ve reached#oh well. the time will pass anyways.#da4
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Man, it's cool and all if you see a metaphor for marginalisation in the monstrous, and if you want the power fantasy of 'what if you could just eat anybody who threatened you/pissed you off'. Me too.
However, as soon as you start saying 'no, these monsters are a 1:1 on Specific Marginalised Group, and you have to treat them in the fiction like they are directly representative of real human members of the marginalised group', BUT you also, in the fiction, make them hurt/kill/eat humans? And then try to shame me, your audience, for noticing or engaging with the bit where they kill people, because you made them directly representative of a real-world marginalised group? You have lost me, and also, I think, the plot.
#hear yourself. for the love of whatever you cherish.#'but they only kill bigots so ACTUALLY they're the GOOD GUYS -' your metaphor of monstrosity is entirely premised on the question of#'what if what you went around righteously killing; believing your actions to be justified;#were actually people and it was not in fact righteous or justified to just kill them'#'what if the world isn't neatly split into 'good guys' and 'bad guys'#who gets to decide who or what is 'bad'? because that's the original problem of monstrosity-as-metaphor-for-marginalisation#(if as a creator you say 'oh my intention with this was X' cool!#if instead you go with something like. well.#'well in this setting monsters are so rare it doesn't matter that they kill people and you'd have to be a homicidal sadistic psychopath >#< to hunt them; but sure I guess if you want to play a Bad Person' well I might have#but if you're going to explicitly judge me for wanting to engage with the moral question of 'how justified is this and who would do it#versus how justified are these monsters if they do have to harm or kill people to continue to exist'#then maybe I just don't want to play your game at all)#anyway I'm sick to death of poor uwu cozy vampires who are SO marginalised so I'm not Allowed to care about all the people they murder#it being fucked up is what's fun about it! do all the other shit but let me take the murders seriously!#and inb4 someone accuses me of being a bigot for saying 'actually I don't think you get a free pass to kill and eat people if you're gay'#remember when the CW's famously reactionary and conservative Supernatural tried to just gloss over the part where every time its heroes >#< killed a demon with a magic knife it also killed the person the demon was possessing#and say 'oh no it's fine we don't care about those killings; they don't matter; don't bother caring about them either'#but they were doing it to glorify exactly the kind of people that these 'monster as metaphor' stories are trying to cast as expendable?#I have other examples that are like. real dramas. but That Paranormal Show is the one that's in the same niche that I'm talking about here#it feels more insidious when it comes through a fantasy show where there are monsters involved#so you can say 'no it's not real so it doesn't matter'#but then ALL of it is equally not real. and vampires are not actually an oppressed group. because they don't exist.#you can say 'these vampires are a metaphor for an oppressed group so this fiction matters in real life'#or you can say 'don't care about the murders because they weren't actually real'#but you can't say both and then get mad at ME for treating the murders as seriously as the vampires#let me engage with your premise and don't waste my fucking time#or just set your fluff in the Sesame Street universe where vampires drink cherry Kool-Aid and help kids learn to count
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gonna tell my future niece/nephew that this was the shape of water
#the legend of zelda#tloz#loz totk#tloz link#tloz sidon#prince sidon#sidlink#fanart#tloz fanart#?? i think those tags are good#kinda messy but whatevs i was going for vibes not polish#i need to get less perfectionist about my rendering anyways#cant wait to actually play this game… i havent even finished botw yet#ive just watched the grumps play them lol#as in ive been playing botw and finished watching gg play both games#what a time in my life to finally at long last get into zelda#now i wanna watch/play all of them but i am only one man and itll take forever… oh well the time will pass anyways and whatnot
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Edit: Thank you all so, so much. I am incredibly moved and incredibly grateful for everything you all have done. Donations, signal boosts, kind words. We can cover their food for at least one month. Anything sent from here out is most welcome and will go towards their needs, but the food crisis is past for now!
The extra will be held until Raleigh sees the specialist on the 11th and either put towards vet bills or used to get him more of his stinky wet food.
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Guys, we REALLY need help paying for cat food. This is not normally an issue, they come first, but a lot of bad shit happened this month and it has literally taken everything we had. I have tried my hardest to stretch their food to the end of the month but the boys, all three, are out of scrip food TOMORROW.
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I'm so sorry. I don't want to be doing this.
It isn't helped by the fact that their food has shot up in price so much I can't believe it.
Please if you can help we would be so grateful. Just five bucks. My boyfriend's PayPal is [email protected].
We need a total refill on Dried Pickle Man/Sid tummy care kibble, and hopefully a month of wet food for Raleigh, which is around $300 for it all. That sadly isn't an error. That isn't even touching the cost of their vet plans and vet debt, which are another $300, and we are behind by about $100 on the vet plans. But all we really need is most of that $300 for food.
The boys can't be off their scrip food. Sid becomes violently ill (I had to buy hospital biohazard spill absorber for when he throws up) with even a little regular food, and Dried Pickle Man eats the same food he does. For Raleigh, well, he's dying. He needs to be kept comfortable for what time he has left and without this food he develops extremely painful and very dangerous urinary crystals very fast and without wet food he can't eat without severe pain in his mouth. We are trying to fix his teeth but need clearance from a specialist which we cannot get until July. He has already been off his scrip food for a couple of days.
We have gotten along this far via Patreon every month, which pays for a lot of the cat stuff, but PayPal and Patreon are holding over $700 of our money due to some sort of technical issue and I don't know when that can be resolved. Without it, we will have nothing in either bank account by the end of the month. Like. Nothing.
We need help. Badly.
Again, my boyfriend's PayPal is [email protected].
All money will go to him to get food for the cats and pay for their monthly plans and medical debt.
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This is Raleigh, who will take your fingers and kiss them if you hold your hand out. Please at least help us get wet food for him so he can eat without pain while he is still here to hold my hand.
(If Raleigh does pass before his food runs out, we can easily return the remaining cans and put that money toward the cost of the euthanasia.)
(Reference, reference. These foods cost the same everywhere I can find, and have gone up in price a lot because greedflation, which is a big part of why paying is suddenly more of an issue.)
#signal boost#we at least need to pay for Smooch food and SOME wet food for Raleigh#normally it isn't a disaster like this but a bunch of people-things hit us at once this month and then Sid had a seizure and Raleigh's dyin#and we just got swamped#and it's pretty bad#like we will be out of money before july anyway but that doesn't even matter if we can get them fed until raleigh passes#then we can catch up again#oh god this is so terrible#you know they come first always and we do really well at making sure they have EVERYTHING#but we couldn't quite make it to the end of the month this time
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No special art for the occasion (had time but I procrastinated). Still...
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone! Hope you're all doing well and taking care of yourselves!
Forest by @julia-jck (he's so cool, I hope I did him justice)
#my art#utmv#sans au#forest sans#self insert#i wish i made something for christmas#a special drawing or something#but time passed faster than i anticipated#oh well#maybe later if i manage to find the energy and motivation#anyway#happy holidays!!
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5% of a color headcanon.... two versions since b&w emphasizes the dagger more i think but i still like the warm tones ASFSADA
i am not biased towards rainbow daggers whatsoever i promise (lie)
((also friend is streaming now and im there too!! bit more info linked here, its rated mature tho))
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#i think tumblr is chewing on this ah well#its more of a weapon color headcanon than anything else tbh SAFASDA#but its very funny in my mind to refer to this as#insert percent amount of color headcanon here ASDASFA#i do not have many color headcanons tbh???#overall i would say i have like 1.15(ish) color headcanons that are solid in my brain across the cast???#the rainbow dagger has been in my minds eye for a long time#um SPOILERISH talk ahead in tag talk so be warned#i am serious!! turn back now if u dont want SPOILERS!!!#can u imagine if siffrins parents had lovingly crafted that white cloak and helped him pick out the pure black fit when younger#so they could be fashionably black and white like if things were in color or something#but then the first thing siffrin picks out on their own terms is literally the most colorful thing imaginable for the dagger#i do not know if that makes much sense but yeah#it is fun in my minds eye ASDAFA#actually is it ever mentioned where siffrin got the dagger??#was it also passed down????#ik the cloak was for sure from his family#and the pure black fit underneath is up in the air i think#tho if it was a first pass pick from parents#and he continued to pick it again and again after they got older subconsciously or not might be fun to think about#also do not mind the art style shift it might happen again LMAO#probably sparingly tho? who knows!!!#should i link stream in this post??? i dont know???#i feel a lil bad if it isnt related?????#oh well im doing it anyway because friendship :]#honestly did not think i would also have anything to post today but uh oops sorta just happened and it lined up so ASFASDA#anyway tag talk over stream time WOOO and i think i hit tag limit LMAO
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#a cry for help /j#ITS JUST FOUR MORE DAYS OF TORTURE#IM ALMOST THERE#idk if i can pass oh my god idk how many time i’ve cried rhis week#but its my last paper#FR THIS TIME#LIKE LAST LAST U HEAR ME#AFTER THIS IF I CAN PASS MY ASS IS GRADUATED#I MEAN I’LL STILL HAVE TO TAKE FURTHER PAPERS FOR OTHER STUFF BUT STILL#its so hard god its so hard bUT I CANNOT GIVE UP#ACTUALLY CANT#EVEN IF IT FREAKING HURTS#4 hours of sleep and a whole lotta spite#I ACTUALLY CANT FAIL AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY#but think about it#THE FREEDOM#fuckfuckfuck#also i missed u guys#im hanging on thin thread rn and trying not to loose it all#well not really i cant lose it LIKE I CANT FAIL I CANT-#deep breath#anyways i’ve scheduled things on 14 and 15 and 16 i think#so that my blog doesnt die#the graph alr went up to flames so honestly idk if anyone will see this but yeah#im fine but not fine but fine ykyk#OKAY BYEEEE STAY SAFE YALLLLL#sobs#gummmyspeaks
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I wonder if Flowey ever just... let Clover stay dead for longer than a few seconds after they died in a fight just to see what happens. I mean, he basically is the master of their fate and would probably get bored of seeing them repeat the same three routes over and over and over again. I feel like in between trying to push Clover to fight Asgore, he'd probably find the time to entertain himself watching other characters react to Clover's death to mix things up a bit.
#undertale yellow#he'd be busting out popcorn and treating everyone's psychological breakdown as a dark comedy#oh? starlo succeeded in killing Clover and now that he can see the blood spilling into the sand and suddenly everything isn't some#dumb cowboy roleplay where everyone plays at justice and starlo really for real murdered a child? lmaooooooo#let's watch this grown man break down crying as his best friend has to cope with the fact that he's a child murderer.#or axis kills clover in a pacifist route and Ceroba has to cope with the fact that because she told them to not fight back#they couldn't defend themself properly and now another kid died because of Chujin's creation AND she can't use their soul#for her husband's legacy.#or how about dalv killing clover and he realizes that it wasn't a hallucination. he just fought another human.#or martlet's fight where she wasn't seriously trying to apprehend them but they died anyways and she realizes that#a part of her job entails killing kids.#or the Feisty 4 fight where starlo leaves for 5 minutes and comes back to all his friends having murdered a child#why stop at pacifist/neutral though?#Martlet was reluctant to fight clover the first time in a no mercy run. yeah she stopped a dangerous killer but they could've turned#things around and tried to be better but now they never get the chance to do that.#or Ceroba beats Clover and realizes that she has absolutely nothing left for her. her husband is dead. her daughter is in limbo.#her best friend died in front of her. there is nothing left for her now.#..... actually. flowey. pass me the popcorn too. i wanna sit down and see where things go as well.#i know flowey wouldn't give a damn about all the emotional aspects but I'd more than happily eat that angst up!#uty analysis#char: starlo#char: martlet#char: clover#char: flowey#char: ceroba ketsukane#char: dalv
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we give garp a lot of (rightly deserved) shit but unironically like 90% of the criticisms towards him i see not only ignore the wider worldbuilding context of one piece but also don't acknowledge how sengoku is like the worst friend ever
#like in the world of OP its fully acknowledged and present that most pirates are like Kidd (ie violent against normal citizens)#and Garp is stated to be one of the pillars preserving peace not unlike how Whitebeard also did#but even then theres like 4 moments in marineford off the top of my head where garp WAS gonna betray the Marines#and it was Sengoku holding him back snd trapping him each time#and even beyond all this one of the themes behind marineford is that they all chose their paths and have to live with the consequences#luffy and ace chose their paths knowing full well it would make garp their enemy and garp had his hands tied entirely at marineford#and even then garp let luffy pass him!! garp could have easily stopped luffy and didn't. like he did choose them in the end as well#anyways garp does absolutely deserve a sock in the jaw because he strikes me as someone who wanted to change the system from the inside#but he failed. and like for all that koby and smoker are 'good' marines theres also not nearly the same amount of criticism towards them for#yknow. working for the marines knowing full well theyre a horrible organization#in any case i want to punch garp and strangle sengoku. oh ace is too evil to leave alive but law is perfectly ok huh sengoku????#one piece#zerav meta#garp
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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aaaaand that’s enough time in the doctor who tag just saw someone saying moffat is problematic for including a lesbian character in the 1800s
#also so much ‘the ep was good but it felt like such a moffat episode’ well yes. all his episodes feel like moffat episodes. because um.#okay that’s enough i’m like officially over showrunner discourse forever i think i just hit my limit in real time#ten years is all i can take turns out. oh jesus i passed my 10yr doctor who anniversary sometime last month and didn’t notice#oh god oh fuck. crazy stuff#anyway. if i could snap my fingers and make everyone forget showrunner discourse and just view all episodes with fresh untainted eyes i#would do that. because then we wouldn’t get takes like the above#milk post#dw spoilers
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sits up in bed. so lana and ema definitely thought they were responsible for edgeworth "choosing death", right?
(the rest of this post was supposed to go in the tags, because it's not very well organised or written, but it got too long so. here are the slightly edited tags for your reading pleasure (or otherwise)):
i was going to make this solely about ema because she's the obvious one with her open adoration of edgeworth, but the thing about rfta is that it goes to great lengths to emphasise the connection between lana and edgeworth as well.
the sl-9 incident showed that lana grows attached to people deeply, hence angel starr's comment on how, when neil marshall died, 'she (lana) felt like her own brother had died.' with edgeworth, i think it was similar but worse. because he's not just a coworker or subordinate who's dear to her. he saved her life. and it cost him his own.
at the beginning of the case, edgeworth says he was mistaken for thinking that lana was always looking out for him post sl-9 (a statement interesting on its own because that's when everyone else says she grew distant), and, later on, he brings ema fingerprinting powder because lana asked him to. then, of course, there's the 'lady luck' comment he makes.
similarly, on lana's side, you obviously have the end of the trial when she says he did well, but there's also that additional moment post-trial where she's the only one to notice — in a group comprising her, ema, phoenix and gumshoe — that he's 'hiding', listening to their conversation. point is, there's enough to suggest that she might have been the nearest thing edgeworth had to a mia; his 'chief prosecutor' to phoenix's plain 'chief'. they're as close as two people can be in a relationship where one of them is constantly lying and the other is von karma's star pupil.
rfta is pretty straightforwardly depicted as the case which solidified edgeworth's resolve to do what he did; i don't think i have to prove that. rumours about him have reached new heights, his car and knife were involved in goodman's murder, he makes an unprecedented mistake in court by failing to connect the evidence room and carpark incidents, thus forcing the chief of police to enter the trial to do so himself, and he's publicly revealed to have relied on falsified evidence to secure a conviction in the sl-9 case, all of which only happened because of lana. jake marshall even claims that from the beginning — that if you trace edgeworth's rumours back to their source, you end up meeting one person: lana skye.
and it gets worse because at the end of rfta, she thinks he's fine!! she literally says, 'i was afraid the pressure would break you, but you rose above it,' and reminds him he's nothing like gant because he's not alone. she leaves the case thinking he will be okay. and then, what, like a week passes, and she finds out that he wasn't, and that he's gone, and it's her fault. even after she was freed from gant's control, even after she had finally stopped lying, she couldn't prevent herself from claiming another life. so much for 'lady luck', i suppose.
and the game reiterates this multiple times. gumshoe states at the start that edgeworth's ties to those higher up in the department have made him the subject of constant rumours, and phoenix says (in front of ema) that he shouldn't be held responsible for the forged evidence because that was all lana's doing, which then leads to edgeworth commenting (again in front of ema) that he feels as though 'something inside him has died.' it all goes back to lana. we can argue and say that it was technically gant's doing that caused all of this, but lana still took actions that led to it. even her complicated friendship with edgeworth isn't spared; it's that closeness between them that exacerbated those rumours. how could she not feel responsible in some way?
and with ema, it's rather obvious, isn't it? if she hadn't gone poking her nose into things, none of this would have happened or come to light. and, of course, she'd never choose anyone over her sister, not for anything in the world — it's simply not a question, but that's the problem, isn't it? it's not a question. it's not some hypothetical moral dilemma. it just is. she may not have killed neil marshall, but she still has one king of prosecutor's blood on her hands. and now she has to live with that. she just. has. to live with it. no matter if he chose otherwise.
moving on from that a little, i think it's actually wild how much of ema's journey to becoming a forensics investigator is paved with bad memories. neil marshall's death and her subsequent inability to testify are what drives her to begin pursuing it, her first proper investigation results in her idol's "death" and when she finally graduates, the person who saved her sister has been disbarred, and she can't even help because she isn't allowed to. all that pain and constant pursuit of her goals, and she's still the same ema skye, still that girl shrouded in darkness, always one step behind the truth, one step a little too late. no wonder she was angry in aa:aj. i would be furious.
#and then like a year later they find out edgeworth's fine and if that happened to me i think i would kill him fr#WKSHDKAHDKS#lana skye#ema skye#miles edgeworth#the skye sisters' relationship with one dramatic depressed prosecutor is something that can be so personal...#ive literally never thought this much about lana or ema ever. they never occupy my thoughts but somehow.#everyone else: man edgeworth's vanishing must have had a real impact on franziska and phoenix. me: what about these 2 side characters who#technically only appeared once in the whole trilogy. in a dlc. what about them.#it's actually so interesting how much lana is set up to be important to edgeworth. phoenix even says she reminds him of mia and when i#first read that i was like ??? bc of the scarf? there's more to mia than a scard phoenix. but then you pay attention to how she interacts#with edgeworth and it's like oh. i see it now. and then she disappears forever.#mind you i dont think she or ema were like. destroyed by the news of edgeworth's supposed passing. not in the way phoenix was anyway.#for better or worse both lana and ema are shown to have a tight hold over themselves emotionally speaking. lana keeps a lid on them for#years and ema is told she might have killed neil by accident and is functional after a brief faint and recess. like those women are strong.#but i do think it would have had a deep impact regardless of how well they were able to cope. like i've said i dont see how it wouldnt.#anyway this concludes my rfta moment. time to go back to being unable to say a thing about susato-san even though she occupies my every#waking moment. if you read all this ily <3#it's also past midnight so if this is all a bit everywhere im sorry
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I cant believe these live in my house with me
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#like. oh my god.#I don’t talk about my guinea pigs that often on here but I need u guys to know that they exist and I love them so fucking much#guinea pigs#the one on the left is boo berry#middle is trix#right is cocoa puff#booboo is a neutered boar and he’s the sweetest little baby ever. he’s so laid back and calm#trix is skittish and very feisty#cocoa puff is a grouchy old lady these days but in her youth she was a very intelligent and friendly piggie#louie.txt#I used to have another one named coffee bean but she sadly passed away recently#so I adopted trix and booboo as companions for cocoa puff#The introduction went really well but I think cocoa puff is a bit thrown off bc trix and booboo are young (trix is 11mo booboo is 2y)#shes like get these goddamn kids off my lawn!!!!!!#we both miss coffee bean a lot#we had some time to prepare bc she was sick for a couple months before her passing#but waking up one morning to find her dying was very shocking and traumatizing#she was my little baby i miss her#she was skittish and shy but sweet. no hint of attitude in her she was just anxious#unlike trix who is both anxious and full of unbridled rage#anyways#Rest In Peace Coffee Bean youll always be my little baby
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local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11
#txt#what an experience#i didnt go alone this time which means shenanigans heightened by 20#and by that i mean we were by the glass drinking mate (that security thankfully let us bring in)#and ___ kept going (lifts mate up to the glass) quieres? to all the players that skated by#and i had to just go STOP THAT#and they went they dont want our mate hmph what do they know about mate and i went. well thats the thing. they dont 😭😭#theres was a bunch of kids next to me which meant a lot players over to our side and ekky trucked over#and knocked the glass w his stick on a driveby and scared the shit out of me I ALMOST DROPPED MY MATE he had this shit eating grin#maffhew also kept doing little toodle-loo waves at the kids behind him it was so cute 😭😭😭#but anyways i think its so funny ___ kept focusing on ekky too and i didnt realise why until they just drop the bombshell of#“they remind me of your brother” and i went “DONT FUCKING SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN DONT SAY SUCH SACRILEGE”#the rest of the convo was in spanish and i dont know how to like fully convey 🇦🇷 banter in eng but it roughly went#“no he does. he has the same dumb face when he starts shit (because he kept bodily bumping into boqy and forsy)#the same 'was that me? did i do that?' troublemaker face. hes a shit stirrer but never answers to it. hes sleazy in that way.#he has the same beard too dont you see it“#and then i promptly spent the whole time going god he is just like my older brother oh this is a horrifying revelation oh god#anyways they kept saying look at his dumb face look at it just like your brother the whole time in spanish when he crept near#and i had to go SHUT UP PLEASE HE CAN HEAR YOU to which they snorted and went you said its fine if we spoke spanish here theyre not gonna#understand us and i was like OKAY BUT IM SURE 11 YEARS HERE HES GONNA PICK UP#SOMETHING AND WE KEEP CURSING SO FOR MY SAKE CAN YOU SHUT UP#mikksy and schmidty were super playful with eo. tuomo ruutu kept messing w mikksy. and ekky was like a damn bumper car bumpin everyone#maffhew ofc was very dramatic when he couldnt get a goal in against knighter and he did the horse headshake in front of us#and i went “you can tell whos number 19 because hes the most dramatic person on the ice always”#ekky was super vocal i know he wanted to practise against the empty net but aj was practising tipins and he goes#MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. and aj so confused just moves like ???#and ekky notches one in goes over to him and waves his glove at him to move#also dmen + lundy were practising on my side of the ice afterwards (lundy ekky uvis kuli. kuli was practising solo. lundy was feeding ekky#for some slapshots uvis got some passes in with them) and anyways i did not fucking realise swaggy was still out because i was so focused on#the dmen until he shot a puck straight at my face and like man i know its not personal but damn did it feel personal with the lookback
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I love being someone's science experiment
#personal#read:#my top surgeon continues to be fascinated by me#last time it was because I said it was fascinating to watch him pull stitches out of my chest#(he said the last guy had passed out so he kept asking if I was okay)#this time it's because of how well my nerves reconnected on one side#apparently it's not very normal to have good skin sensation in nipple grafts#but here we are#he put a note in my chart and seemed...excited?#he really looked like he wanted to say ''oh cool!'' or ''weird!''#but he just said ''huh!'' and seemed enthused#he also kept saying ''oh you look *good*'' in a way that was very genuine#and he's right#my chest looks great#but some part of me wants to be like#intense about his reaction. like#o sculptor of flesh. how do you feel when you behold your creations?#is your vision of yourself one of an artist or of a doctor? is this the line you blur?#anyway that'd be weird so I don't say stuff like that#but I do *want* to#sbs rambles#in the tags#gender#top surgery
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I am begging people who post leaks on YouTube to 1) not do that, please but 2) if you're going to do it then at least clearly label them as such in the first few words of the video title so they don't get hidden by a "..." and people who don't want to partake can avoid clicking on it.
Please. Please, I am begging you.
#this is the SECOND TIME this has happened to me#because it LOOKS like fan made content and hey! i like to support that!#first time i just thought it was an animatic and had the Stolas and Via argument in Sinsmas spoiled for me#this time i thought it was a fan made song and i was just innocently bopping along thinking 'wow this fan is really talented!#it even sounds like the actual VAs. not cool if they used AI to achieve that though. ... ... wait. oh no. NO!'#so now I've had that spoiled for me too#PLEASE LABEL THINGS. PREFERABLY DON'T POST THEM AT ALL BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO ANYWAY THEN AT LEAST LABEL IT! UGH.#(I'm being vague to avoid drawing more attention to it as well as not passing on the spoiler. stay safe buds.)
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