#oh well. the time will pass anyways.
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these last few hours are excruciating i feel like a caged tiger and now i got an email saying a cancellation request is being processed (??????) so idk wtf is going on w that but regardless i still won’t be playing it on release day unless the postal system just wants to magically work tomorrow and it will be nov 4 at the earliest (or never??? i guess???) THE WAITING HURTS ITS THE KIND OF BOREDOM THAT IS PHYSICALLY PAINFUL
#ill get over it just let me have my histrionics first#like im doing extra for work and classes to fill up the time and distract myself#that’s the level we’ve reached#oh well. the time will pass anyways.#da4
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gonna tell my future niece/nephew that this was the shape of water
#the legend of zelda#tloz#loz totk#tloz link#tloz sidon#prince sidon#sidlink#fanart#tloz fanart#?? i think those tags are good#kinda messy but whatevs i was going for vibes not polish#i need to get less perfectionist about my rendering anyways#cant wait to actually play this game… i havent even finished botw yet#ive just watched the grumps play them lol#as in ive been playing botw and finished watching gg play both games#what a time in my life to finally at long last get into zelda#now i wanna watch/play all of them but i am only one man and itll take forever… oh well the time will pass anyways and whatnot
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Edit: Thank you all so, so much. I am incredibly moved and incredibly grateful for everything you all have done. Donations, signal boosts, kind words. We can cover their food for at least one month. Anything sent from here out is most welcome and will go towards their needs, but the food crisis is past for now!
The extra will be held until Raleigh sees the specialist on the 11th and either put towards vet bills or used to get him more of his stinky wet food.
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Guys, we REALLY need help paying for cat food. This is not normally an issue, they come first, but a lot of bad shit happened this month and it has literally taken everything we had. I have tried my hardest to stretch their food to the end of the month but the boys, all three, are out of scrip food TOMORROW.




I'm so sorry. I don't want to be doing this.
It isn't helped by the fact that their food has shot up in price so much I can't believe it.
Please if you can help we would be so grateful. Just five bucks. My boyfriend's PayPal is [email protected].
We need a total refill on Dried Pickle Man/Sid tummy care kibble, and hopefully a month of wet food for Raleigh, which is around $300 for it all. That sadly isn't an error. That isn't even touching the cost of their vet plans and vet debt, which are another $300, and we are behind by about $100 on the vet plans. But all we really need is most of that $300 for food.
The boys can't be off their scrip food. Sid becomes violently ill (I had to buy hospital biohazard spill absorber for when he throws up) with even a little regular food, and Dried Pickle Man eats the same food he does. For Raleigh, well, he's dying. He needs to be kept comfortable for what time he has left and without this food he develops extremely painful and very dangerous urinary crystals very fast and without wet food he can't eat without severe pain in his mouth. We are trying to fix his teeth but need clearance from a specialist which we cannot get until July. He has already been off his scrip food for a couple of days.
We have gotten along this far via Patreon every month, which pays for a lot of the cat stuff, but PayPal and Patreon are holding over $700 of our money due to some sort of technical issue and I don't know when that can be resolved. Without it, we will have nothing in either bank account by the end of the month. Like. Nothing.
We need help. Badly.
Again, my boyfriend's PayPal is [email protected].
All money will go to him to get food for the cats and pay for their monthly plans and medical debt.

This is Raleigh, who will take your fingers and kiss them if you hold your hand out. Please at least help us get wet food for him so he can eat without pain while he is still here to hold my hand.
(If Raleigh does pass before his food runs out, we can easily return the remaining cans and put that money toward the cost of the euthanasia.)
(Reference, reference. These foods cost the same everywhere I can find, and have gone up in price a lot because greedflation, which is a big part of why paying is suddenly more of an issue.)
#signal boost#we at least need to pay for Smooch food and SOME wet food for Raleigh#normally it isn't a disaster like this but a bunch of people-things hit us at once this month and then Sid had a seizure and Raleigh's dyin#and we just got swamped#and it's pretty bad#like we will be out of money before july anyway but that doesn't even matter if we can get them fed until raleigh passes#then we can catch up again#oh god this is so terrible#you know they come first always and we do really well at making sure they have EVERYTHING#but we couldn't quite make it to the end of the month this time
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No special art for the occasion (had time but I procrastinated). Still...
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone! Hope you're all doing well and taking care of yourselves!
Forest by @julia-jck (he's so cool, I hope I did him justice)
#my art#utmv#sans au#forest sans#self insert#i wish i made something for christmas#a special drawing or something#but time passed faster than i anticipated#oh well#maybe later if i manage to find the energy and motivation#anyway#happy holidays!!
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5% of a color headcanon.... two versions since b&w emphasizes the dagger more i think but i still like the warm tones ASFSADA
i am not biased towards rainbow daggers whatsoever i promise (lie)
((also friend is streaming now and im there too!! bit more info linked here, its rated mature tho))
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#i think tumblr is chewing on this ah well#its more of a weapon color headcanon than anything else tbh SAFASDA#but its very funny in my mind to refer to this as#insert percent amount of color headcanon here ASDASFA#i do not have many color headcanons tbh???#overall i would say i have like 1.15(ish) color headcanons that are solid in my brain across the cast???#the rainbow dagger has been in my minds eye for a long time#um SPOILERISH talk ahead in tag talk so be warned#i am serious!! turn back now if u dont want SPOILERS!!!#can u imagine if siffrins parents had lovingly crafted that white cloak and helped him pick out the pure black fit when younger#so they could be fashionably black and white like if things were in color or something#but then the first thing siffrin picks out on their own terms is literally the most colorful thing imaginable for the dagger#i do not know if that makes much sense but yeah#it is fun in my minds eye ASDAFA#actually is it ever mentioned where siffrin got the dagger??#was it also passed down????#ik the cloak was for sure from his family#and the pure black fit underneath is up in the air i think#tho if it was a first pass pick from parents#and he continued to pick it again and again after they got older subconsciously or not might be fun to think about#also do not mind the art style shift it might happen again LMAO#probably sparingly tho? who knows!!!#should i link stream in this post??? i dont know???#i feel a lil bad if it isnt related?????#oh well im doing it anyway because friendship :]#honestly did not think i would also have anything to post today but uh oops sorta just happened and it lined up so ASFASDA#anyway tag talk over stream time WOOO and i think i hit tag limit LMAO
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I wonder if Flowey ever just... let Clover stay dead for longer than a few seconds after they died in a fight just to see what happens. I mean, he basically is the master of their fate and would probably get bored of seeing them repeat the same three routes over and over and over again. I feel like in between trying to push Clover to fight Asgore, he'd probably find the time to entertain himself watching other characters react to Clover's death to mix things up a bit.
#undertale yellow#he'd be busting out popcorn and treating everyone's psychological breakdown as a dark comedy#oh? starlo succeeded in killing Clover and now that he can see the blood spilling into the sand and suddenly everything isn't some#dumb cowboy roleplay where everyone plays at justice and starlo really for real murdered a child? lmaooooooo#let's watch this grown man break down crying as his best friend has to cope with the fact that he's a child murderer.#or axis kills clover in a pacifist route and Ceroba has to cope with the fact that because she told them to not fight back#they couldn't defend themself properly and now another kid died because of Chujin's creation AND she can't use their soul#for her husband's legacy.#or how about dalv killing clover and he realizes that it wasn't a hallucination. he just fought another human.#or martlet's fight where she wasn't seriously trying to apprehend them but they died anyways and she realizes that#a part of her job entails killing kids.#or the Feisty 4 fight where starlo leaves for 5 minutes and comes back to all his friends having murdered a child#why stop at pacifist/neutral though?#Martlet was reluctant to fight clover the first time in a no mercy run. yeah she stopped a dangerous killer but they could've turned#things around and tried to be better but now they never get the chance to do that.#or Ceroba beats Clover and realizes that she has absolutely nothing left for her. her husband is dead. her daughter is in limbo.#her best friend died in front of her. there is nothing left for her now.#..... actually. flowey. pass me the popcorn too. i wanna sit down and see where things go as well.#i know flowey wouldn't give a damn about all the emotional aspects but I'd more than happily eat that angst up!#uty analysis#char: starlo#char: martlet#char: clover#char: flowey#char: ceroba ketsukane#char: dalv
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The Nevermoor hiatus has been crazy because what do you mean I was 19 when I read Hollowpox and now I’m going to be 23 turning 24 when Silverborn finally comes out 😵💫😵💫😵💫
#the way in which my birthday is in may so by the time it comes out in America I���ll be 24 lol…..#now I know someone who was 19 and is NOT turning 24….. MIDmay 😝#funny to realize I was 19 reading hollowpox bc I had to take a two month break bc finals nd I remember I stopped RIGHT before chapter 19 lol#anyways might delete this later#I’ve just been thinking about how crazy the wait has been as someone that discovered the series at an older age#(the older age in question being 17. meanwhile there’s like 30 40 50 etc year olds in the fandom as well)#(not that anyone is Old. shoutout to nevermoor fans of all ages. hashtag represent)#I remember being excited bc I was like ‘oh I’ll be the same age as ms cheery when it comes out!!’ (22)#but now as far as I can guess I’m closer to helena swift’s age…..#I just hope I don’t pass Jupiter before the series ends LMAO
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we give garp a lot of (rightly deserved) shit but unironically like 90% of the criticisms towards him i see not only ignore the wider worldbuilding context of one piece but also don't acknowledge how sengoku is like the worst friend ever
#like in the world of OP its fully acknowledged and present that most pirates are like Kidd (ie violent against normal citizens)#and Garp is stated to be one of the pillars preserving peace not unlike how Whitebeard also did#but even then theres like 4 moments in marineford off the top of my head where garp WAS gonna betray the Marines#and it was Sengoku holding him back snd trapping him each time#and even beyond all this one of the themes behind marineford is that they all chose their paths and have to live with the consequences#luffy and ace chose their paths knowing full well it would make garp their enemy and garp had his hands tied entirely at marineford#and even then garp let luffy pass him!! garp could have easily stopped luffy and didn't. like he did choose them in the end as well#anyways garp does absolutely deserve a sock in the jaw because he strikes me as someone who wanted to change the system from the inside#but he failed. and like for all that koby and smoker are 'good' marines theres also not nearly the same amount of criticism towards them for#yknow. working for the marines knowing full well theyre a horrible organization#in any case i want to punch garp and strangle sengoku. oh ace is too evil to leave alive but law is perfectly ok huh sengoku????#one piece#zerav meta#garp
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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aaaaand that’s enough time in the doctor who tag just saw someone saying moffat is problematic for including a lesbian character in the 1800s
#also so much ‘the ep was good but it felt like such a moffat episode’ well yes. all his episodes feel like moffat episodes. because um.#okay that’s enough i’m like officially over showrunner discourse forever i think i just hit my limit in real time#ten years is all i can take turns out. oh jesus i passed my 10yr doctor who anniversary sometime last month and didn’t notice#oh god oh fuck. crazy stuff#anyway. if i could snap my fingers and make everyone forget showrunner discourse and just view all episodes with fresh untainted eyes i#would do that. because then we wouldn’t get takes like the above#milk post#dw spoilers
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I cant believe these live in my house with me

#like. oh my god.#I don’t talk about my guinea pigs that often on here but I need u guys to know that they exist and I love them so fucking much#guinea pigs#the one on the left is boo berry#middle is trix#right is cocoa puff#booboo is a neutered boar and he’s the sweetest little baby ever. he’s so laid back and calm#trix is skittish and very feisty#cocoa puff is a grouchy old lady these days but in her youth she was a very intelligent and friendly piggie#louie.txt#I used to have another one named coffee bean but she sadly passed away recently#so I adopted trix and booboo as companions for cocoa puff#The introduction went really well but I think cocoa puff is a bit thrown off bc trix and booboo are young (trix is 11mo booboo is 2y)#shes like get these goddamn kids off my lawn!!!!!!#we both miss coffee bean a lot#we had some time to prepare bc she was sick for a couple months before her passing#but waking up one morning to find her dying was very shocking and traumatizing#she was my little baby i miss her#she was skittish and shy but sweet. no hint of attitude in her she was just anxious#unlike trix who is both anxious and full of unbridled rage#anyways#Rest In Peace Coffee Bean youll always be my little baby
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local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11
#txt#what an experience#i didnt go alone this time which means shenanigans heightened by 20#and by that i mean we were by the glass drinking mate (that security thankfully let us bring in)#and ___ kept going (lifts mate up to the glass) quieres? to all the players that skated by#and i had to just go STOP THAT#and they went they dont want our mate hmph what do they know about mate and i went. well thats the thing. they dont 😭😭#theres was a bunch of kids next to me which meant a lot players over to our side and ekky trucked over#and knocked the glass w his stick on a driveby and scared the shit out of me I ALMOST DROPPED MY MATE he had this shit eating grin#maffhew also kept doing little toodle-loo waves at the kids behind him it was so cute 😭😭😭#but anyways i think its so funny ___ kept focusing on ekky too and i didnt realise why until they just drop the bombshell of#“they remind me of your brother” and i went “DONT FUCKING SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN DONT SAY SUCH SACRILEGE”#the rest of the convo was in spanish and i dont know how to like fully convey 🇦🇷 banter in eng but it roughly went#“no he does. he has the same dumb face when he starts shit (because he kept bodily bumping into boqy and forsy)#the same 'was that me? did i do that?' troublemaker face. hes a shit stirrer but never answers to it. hes sleazy in that way.#he has the same beard too dont you see it“#and then i promptly spent the whole time going god he is just like my older brother oh this is a horrifying revelation oh god#anyways they kept saying look at his dumb face look at it just like your brother the whole time in spanish when he crept near#and i had to go SHUT UP PLEASE HE CAN HEAR YOU to which they snorted and went you said its fine if we spoke spanish here theyre not gonna#understand us and i was like OKAY BUT IM SURE 11 YEARS HERE HES GONNA PICK UP#SOMETHING AND WE KEEP CURSING SO FOR MY SAKE CAN YOU SHUT UP#mikksy and schmidty were super playful with eo. tuomo ruutu kept messing w mikksy. and ekky was like a damn bumper car bumpin everyone#maffhew ofc was very dramatic when he couldnt get a goal in against knighter and he did the horse headshake in front of us#and i went “you can tell whos number 19 because hes the most dramatic person on the ice always”#ekky was super vocal i know he wanted to practise against the empty net but aj was practising tipins and he goes#MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. and aj so confused just moves like ???#and ekky notches one in goes over to him and waves his glove at him to move#also dmen + lundy were practising on my side of the ice afterwards (lundy ekky uvis kuli. kuli was practising solo. lundy was feeding ekky#for some slapshots uvis got some passes in with them) and anyways i did not fucking realise swaggy was still out because i was so focused on#the dmen until he shot a puck straight at my face and like man i know its not personal but damn did it feel personal with the lookback
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I love being someone's science experiment
#personal#read:#my top surgeon continues to be fascinated by me#last time it was because I said it was fascinating to watch him pull stitches out of my chest#(he said the last guy had passed out so he kept asking if I was okay)#this time it's because of how well my nerves reconnected on one side#apparently it's not very normal to have good skin sensation in nipple grafts#but here we are#he put a note in my chart and seemed...excited?#he really looked like he wanted to say ''oh cool!'' or ''weird!''#but he just said ''huh!'' and seemed enthused#he also kept saying ''oh you look *good*'' in a way that was very genuine#and he's right#my chest looks great#but some part of me wants to be like#intense about his reaction. like#o sculptor of flesh. how do you feel when you behold your creations?#is your vision of yourself one of an artist or of a doctor? is this the line you blur?#anyway that'd be weird so I don't say stuff like that#but I do *want* to#sbs rambles#in the tags#gender#top surgery
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I am begging people who post leaks on YouTube to 1) not do that, please but 2) if you're going to do it then at least clearly label them as such in the first few words of the video title so they don't get hidden by a "..." and people who don't want to partake can avoid clicking on it.
Please. Please, I am begging you.
#this is the SECOND TIME this has happened to me#because it LOOKS like fan made content and hey! i like to support that!#first time i just thought it was an animatic and had the Stolas and Via argument in Sinsmas spoiled for me#this time i thought it was a fan made song and i was just innocently bopping along thinking 'wow this fan is really talented!#it even sounds like the actual VAs. not cool if they used AI to achieve that though. ... ... wait. oh no. NO!'#so now I've had that spoiled for me too#PLEASE LABEL THINGS. PREFERABLY DON'T POST THEM AT ALL BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO ANYWAY THEN AT LEAST LABEL IT! UGH.#(I'm being vague to avoid drawing more attention to it as well as not passing on the spoiler. stay safe buds.)
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can someone tell me how to keep going if your hardwork does pay off but you don't feel anything when you achieve your goal just relief and numb again
#ive been having a bad week again since the exam ugh😭#im really really REALLY trying to study but a little head in my voice keeps saying what is even the point of working so hard#which is soooo ridiculous because it's bc i worked so hard that i got great marks#but like. i didn't feel happy like i thought would. i just felt like 'oh. okay. cool'#and then i just. didn't even have anyone around me to celebrate with#which is idk kinda dumb i guess it's just an online exam#but like see. there are technically total 8 exams to become. um to get my degree#and i just cleared 1 of them#like that was a full 100 marks paper i studied for of that level and i did it#ive just never done this before not since this course ive always scored JUST above passing (not counting the times#i literally failed twice lol)#so yeah anyway it is big for me. but why doesn't it feel like anything 😭😭😭#and why hasn't this motivated me to work harder😭😭😭#idk i thought i had gotten over the 'just do it. just do it!!! just. do. it.' phase i was getting so many things done#but it feels back to square one now#man that book about habits was so right don't have goals have habits because when you do achieve your goal#you'll be like well now what? and slip right back into bad habits again#that's exactly what happened#i used to think lol achieve my goal that's never gonna happen im a shit person and a failure#but like what the hell!!! i did!!! so now what😭😭😭#i think i need a hug#but ive never really hugged anyone except one person and she's 4 years away now#i think i need. my dad to tell me he's proud of me. but he's already forgotten about it so that's not gonna happen#man the day i stop craving external validation. it's over for yall#ugh yuck i used to hate the word validation it always sounded so desperate and needy and pathetic. guess it was just#another form of self loathing lol#im not even sad im like genuinely asking. im trying to solve it like a math problem. like does anyone have the answer
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feeling the overwhelming urge to write a deeply self-indulgent doctor who/star trek crossover fic right now, because you know who else would fall so fucking hard for the master's goofy little spy schtick? julian bashir, that's who.
#dw#it would have to be early seasons bashir though#bc he's like 'oh boy an evil bisexual alien that's exactly my type'#whereas later seasons bashir would be like 'i already have multiple morally ambiguous secret agents gagging for my dick'#'plus there's a war on and i'm busy. pass'#it practically writes itself#while escaping from the crashing plane the master accidentally teleports himself to some random human occupied space station#crashes to the ground in a flash of white light and knocks himself out. he's wearing his tux from the party fucking OBVIOUSLY#gets carted in to sickbay. they may or may not be able to identify him as an alien but he sure LOOKS human#and when he wakes up he's like. i'm agent o from mi6. from the year 2020. i'm very confused but harmless for sure!#and dr julian 'james bond fanboy' bashir is like I RECOGNISE THAT ACRONYM‚ IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE#this mysterious time displaced 'human' is my new best friend and also there's someone i've GOT to introduce him to#there's a bit of a hiccup when it turns out o is very well aware of aliens and in fact keeping track of aliens is his whole job#seems like he's from an alternate timeline where first contact happened WAY earlier#but julian 'geek social fallacies' bashir introduces o to garak like you guys are both spies so you'll get along right?#and garak (who knows a liar when he sees one) picks up on some bad vibes immediately#and is like doctor i can't get a read on what his deal is but do NOT trust this man#plot twist though the master talks him around and it's actually garak who sews that plaid suit of his.#anyway. this is very silly#under no circumstances am i actually going to write this i'm just rotating it in my mind
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