#oh these silly boogers

[endlessnightlock]

71.

"Would you just shut up please?"

A continuation of this bed-sharing prompt. 

Part One  

Part Two

Peeta went upstairs to his family’s apartment, moving slowly to prevent more of my fussing about being careful. For a person who couldn’t get up from the floor last night and stumbled on his feet getting out of bed, he’s pushing his luck today. “I grabbed these to stuff in the cracks around the door,” he says, reappearing with an armful of worn, threadbare sheets. “Ought to keep the snow outside.”��

The wind is even stronger today than last night, and snow is steadily making it’s way into the kitchen between the door and it’s frame. Frigid air whistles in also, invading my ears while the white stuff lands on the floor. There’s something this strong winter wind howling outside that makes it seem as though it’d be easy to lose your mind. 

Sliding off the stool by the kitchen work counter, I join Peeta by the back door. Carefully, he stuffs edges of the sheets wherever a draft comes in. wanting to keep the small bit of space we established this morning, I lean against the door and peer out the window into the wall of blizzard snow. Tiny, frozen flakes ping against the window panes and wood siding with a delicate thunk sound. “Wonder how long this storm’ll last,” I muse, shivering at the thought of being outside in that.

“We’ll be fine here,” Peeta says. “We have enough wood to keep the smallest oven going, and enough provisions.” He frowns, stuffing the last of the sheet into the base of the doorway before looking up at me. “You think your mother and Prim are alright, will they worry that you never made it home last night?”

I shrug. There’s enough food at home to last them three or four days so I’m not concerned. And the other—

“They stopped worrying about me a long time ago,” I say nonchalantly. “They know I’m good at finding places to hole up and wait things out.”

“Doesn’t mean they don’t worry. I would,” Peeta admits, standing after managing to block the snow’s way inside the kitchen. I step aside, allowing him room to shove another sheet between the window pane and it’s frame. “Glad you didn’t try to go home last night.”

“I’m capable of taking care of myself,” I tell him. 

“Someone I loved? I wouldn’t want them out in that,” he sucks air in through his teeth. Glancing at me, he raises his eyebrow. “It’s wicked out there,” he adds, moving around me and effectively dropping the subject. Which is good because it was on the tip of my tongue to ask why he used the word loved. 

Since he isn’t opening the bakery today, there isn’t a whole lot for him and I to do to pass the time. He puts a kettle of water on the stove, and once it’s boiling, pours the water into a pot for tea before offering to make us something for breakfast. Although I protest, not wanting to owe him anything, he rolls his eyes at me. “Consider it payment for last night’s nursing,” he says, squatting next to the wood stove, sliding a peel with slices of bread on it inside. Eyes almost twinkling, he glances at me and adds, “Don’t worry. I was just going to make toast. You won’t owe me your firstborn or anything.”

“Your second born, maybe,” he adds when I remain quiet, peering inside the open door. “Only if you have an overabundance.”

I cover my mouth to keep my laughter in. “Got you there, I’m never having kids,” I reply.

“Well, I guess you got me then. Perfect,” Peeta says to himself, sliding the peel back out. On it’s blackened, worn-smooth surface, lie two thick pieces of hearty bread. “No butter, but we do have some honey. Go sit at the counter, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I’m not---”

“Katniss, would you just shut up please?” He interrupts, laughing when I scowl at him. “I’m not going to eat in front of you. I know you’re hungry. You know you’re hungry. Don’t be so stubborn.”

A few moments later we’re sitting on stools at the work counter, having tea and toast. 

“Sorry, it’s a little dry,” Peeta apologizes, dunking one end of his slice in his tea mug. 

“It’s perfect,” I say quietly. My slice of bread sticks in my throat, but not because of it’s texture. I’m certain what we’re eating is the same kind he threw to me that day he saved my life. 

“Nah. It’s perfect when it’s fresh.”

“I know, but this is good. Thank you,” I add, meeting his eye, swallowing around the lump in my throat. “Thank you for the other time you fed me, too.”

Peeta sets his slice on the counter, brushing his hands together to rid them of any crumbs. “Do you mean from when we were kids?”

I raise my eyebrows at him. Obviously. “It meant a lot to me,” I say.

Peeta looks away, cheeks pinking under my scrutiny. “I think we can let that one go.”

“Why did you do it, though?”

He meets my eyes again. “Because you needed it.”

“But your mother hurt you for burning it. I heard her do it!”

“And I survived,” he says, and I’m suddenly embarrassed about bringing that up, the way I paid attention to it all and how I’ve done so with him since. 

“It’s not that big a deal. I was worried about you, the way you came to school after your father, well, passed, looking so thin and just, you looked hollow, like the life was sucked out of you or something. And I wanted to help you, hell, anything to help before then. My chance didn’t come until that night. So I gave you some bread, and my mother hit me. But you lived.”

Silence settles between us, the thick sort where someone is sure to blurt something out any moment. I go first. “Why me, though?”

“Why not?” he counters, picking up his mug of tea and taking a drink, grimacing at the flavor. “You don’t always have to do something expecting things in return.”

“Yes you do,” I counter strongly. What nonsense is he saying? “That’s exactly what you do. If you do something for me, I owe you. If I do something for you, then you owe me.”

“So you think you owe me?” Peeta asks softly, leaning forward on his stool.

I drop my eyes to the counter top, avoiding his gaze. “I owe you a lot, and I can never repay it.”

“I wish you didn’t feel that way,” he says hesitantly. “The thing is, I would have given you that bread anyway. That was always going to happen. But Katniss, I like you. I always have.”

“You like me?” I ask, confused. Obviously he doesn’t dislike me or we wouldn’t be sitting here talking. It seems to me he likes everyone. No one ever has a bad word to say about him.

Peeta stares at me pointedly, until I realize what he’s getting at. 

Oh. He likes me. I laugh nervously because what is actually happening right now? My heart flutters in my chest, heat creeping up my neck. “I didn’t know,” I admit.

He smiles ruefully, moving his hand forward, touching my fingertips for half a second before scooting it back. “I never got up the nerve to talk to you before, why would you? So you can understand why I don’t want you to feel you owe me anything.”

“I just...I don’t understand.”

“What is there to not understand?” he pries.

“I don’t know,” I say dropping my face into the palm of my hands. “I wasn’t expecting you to say that,” I mumble through my fingers.

“Does that make you uncomfortable, knowing I like you?” Peeta asks, sounding unsure of himself for the first time. “I don’t expect anything from you---”

“No!” I pop my head up, immediately cringing upon realizing I shouted at him. “Sorry, er. No.”

He laughs. “Okay. Good. I’m glad. Are you, uh, done there?” 

Biting my lip I nod, pushing my tea cup away. My toast is already gone.

“What should we do now?” Peeta asks, taking my cup away.

I swear my heart stops. “Huh?” I ask. I don’t know what to do about him liking me. 

“Well, there isn’t much to do down here. I can’t really prep anything, since I don’t know when we’ll be open for business again. Do you want to go upstairs to the apartment? There are some books up there, or there’s always television.”

I sigh in relief. Of course Peeta meant what are we going to do this afternoon, not what we’re going to do about him liking me. What is there to do about that, really? At least I don’t need to answer that question today. “Yeah, let’s go upstairs.”

[marlynnofmany]

Names Chosen Carefully

I swung into the spaceship’s kitchen with plans to grab a snack before unpacking the bags from our latest supply run, but I paused. Coals was there showing Eggskin a screen of color swatches, and it didn’t look like a menu. Could have been something medical, since Eggskin handled both the feeding and the healing of the crew, though the conversation I’d walked in on said no.

“Vehicles are an option, but I don’t know what kind are popular there,” Coals said. He acknowledged me with a nod. “And an unfavorable skimmer model would be almost as bad as an activity that’s culturally iffy.”

Eggskin was nodding thoughtfully, tapping a claw against their lizardy chin. “The activities are probably easier to research. But I do think that either a generalized space theme or something referring to home would be the way to go.”

“Yeah, but which?” Coals asked with a sigh, staring at the handscreen. “Space might be too common, or trying too hard, and home stuff might not make sense to anyone there, including the kids.”

I must have looked like a confused dog, standing there with my head cocked. Coals took pity on me. “My cousin wants advice on what to name his clutch when it hatches,” he said, holding out the handscreen. Up close, I could see that each color swatch was scales. “This is their best guess about the likely colors.”

“Ohh,” I said. “Got it.”

Eggskin asked Coals, “Are they familiar with nearly-hatched eggs, and color distortion? Many new parents guess wrong.”

I reflected that Eggskin, whose full name was “Skin of the Egg that is Translucent and Ready to Hatch,” had probably thought about the concept pretty often. Their own scale color looked more like boogers than any egg I’d ever seen, but I’d never been privy to a Heatseeker hatching. I assume other colors would show through.

Coals nodded his brick-red snout. “They live near family. Plenty of chances to observe. And he’s been there for brainstorming names on the ol’ home planet, and his mate has too, but that’s not very helpful now.” He glanced up at me. “They just moved to a space station.”

“Are there not many Heatseekers there?” I asked.

“A few, but it’s a very intercultural place. That’s why they wanted my opinion, since I travel around so much. Thought I might have some valuable insights.”

I leaned against a counter, trying not to loom. “What have you got so far?”

Coals sighed deeply. “A lot of doubts. References to home could be great, but they might just be confusing to everyone. What kind of names would you expect to hear with these?” He showed me the screen again.

I was about to object that I was hardly an expert on Heatseeker names, then the palest one caught my eye and I laughed. “Humans would nickname that one Popcorn,” I said, pointing at the white-and-yellow image.

“Popcorn?” Coals looked at it. “What is—”

“It’s food,” I said. “A popular snack from Earth. I wouldn’t expect that to be anybody’s real name though; it’s much too whimsical and silly. Well. At least with my cultural background.”

Coals and Eggskin both looked at the colors without saying anything for a long moment. Then Coals turned the screen to me again. “Would humans of your background have food associations for the others too?”

“Well,” I said, wondering whether I was just hungry. “That one looks exactly like mint chip ice cream. Oh, and that one’s cookie & cream.” They really were; it was uncanny. “I didn’t know you guys had scale patterns with that many speckles.”

“You should see my cousin,” Coals said. “He looks like a starfield. His mate is a simple dark maroon, though. Between the two of them, the genetics are all over the place. What about these other three?”

I looked at the brown-with-red, the yellow-speckled-brown, and the deep purple. “Red velvet cake, dijon mustard, and plum. Or maybe grape. But that doesn’t make as good of a nickname. You aren’t actually going to suggest these, are you? Naming the kids after another planet’s food seems like everyone might expect them all to be familiar with that planet. Pretty sure a couple of those foods might actually be poisonous to you, too.” I flicked a glance at Eggskin, who was thankfully nodding in agreement.

“Naming a child after a toxic foreign food would do them no favors,” Eggskin said. “An adult might wear such a name proudly, but I would fully expect a youth to be pressured into eating their namesake at some point, especially if they lived somewhere it was readily found.”

I nodded too, looking to Coals.

“But,” Coals said. “It doesn’t have to be foreign food.”

I started to ask what he meant, then suddenly remembered a bit of cultural trivia. “It’s good luck to name spaceships after food, right? Does that go for people too?”

Eggskin chuckled while Coals stared intently at the colors. “It can,” Eggskin said. “It’s rather bold, though. An audacious claim that a set of parents can confer enough luck on all their offspring for them to always have food available. Very daring.” They looked at Coals with an amused expression, which Coals didn’t look up to see.

“That fits my cousin surprisingly well,” he said instead.

I smiled. “Are there Heatseeker foods that would fit these colors?”

“I can think of several.” Coals changed the screen to a text field and began typing. “This is perfect. Thank you so much.”

“Happy to help!” I said.

Eggskin suggested, “Be sure to remind them they should research any food they’re considering, and find out what associations their new neighbors are likely to have. Some things translate terribly.”

“No kidding!” I laughed, standing up and moving toward the snack cabinet. “I still remember the spaceships Worm Jerky and Raw Flesh.”

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[sku-nk]

Heyyyyy!! I have a Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader request!

Chad and Mindy drawing on Reader and Tara's faces when they sleep. They wake up to see each other faces covered in silly doodles.🙈

Chad Rulez (Mindy, Too)

Synopsis: Tara's got a little something on her face... Hey, so do you!

Warnings: Language, Tara being evil

A/n: dont ask about the title. also i wasnt ignoring you 😰 ive been doing a lot (especially with that long ass thing im writing haha)

By no means are you an artist. You've never willingly set foot inside an art gallery. Those blobs of color on top of other blobs of color don't represent much to you besides boogers. Art doesn't speak to you the way it seems to speak to others.

Usually.

But right now? As you're laying there in bed, all sleepy-eyed and groggy, having just woken up to the sound of snickering, that marker mustache on Tara's upper lip is really saying something. Her whole face is speaking to you, actually, especially the sloppy CHAD RULEZ scrawled on her exposed forehead.

It makes you giggle despite the situation, already knowing what Chad (and if you knew anything about the twins, Mindy, too) had gotten up to. It's a quiet sound, muffled by your hand as you try not to wake your girlfriend, already planning to take a picture or ten before you do wake her.

Though your giggle is quiet, it makes the brunette stir, and you internally wonder how the hell she slept through being drawn on by those two babies.

That's right, those babies.

Those babies that are currently hunched over the two of you, doing their absolute best to keep their composure as they watch you. It's funny, you think. Almost enough to make you laugh, the nearly dead silence, the thick atmosphere as the the three of you just keep glancing between each other and Tara. The twins definitely seem to be enjoying this more than you, Chad in particular looking like he's about to explode. He's got his hand covering his mouth as he makes funny little noises behind it.

A particularly loud snort pushes you over the edge and you burst into laughter, your laughs causing both the twins to break. The three of you can't control yourselves at this point, and it makes Tara's face twitch into an expression of confusion, eyes still closed as she lets out a sleepy groan.

"Guys, can I fucking-? Is it-"

She can't even formulate a proper sentence with all this noise and her grogginess, so she opens her eyes to at least give the three of you a glare.

But it's not a glare that takes over her face, it's a look of shock and then a wide smile as her laughter joins your own. You're confused, but not too confused to calm down, the homemade tattoos on Tara's face (and maybe your lack of sense in such early hours) making your ribs hurt as you laugh.

"Holy.." Tara struggles out as she grips your nightshirt, trying and failing fo fight back giggles. "What the fuck?"

You shake your head. "I don't— Oh my God!— I don't know, you just look-"

"I look? You look-"

And then it dawns on the two of you. You can't stop laughing, but you hastily fumble around for your phone on the nightstand as Mindy smacks your leg, cackling.

"Fina-fucking-lly!" she exclaims as she and Chad nearly fall to the floor laughing. Chad is quite literally choking. You open your camera and your eyes almost pop put of your head when you see yourself. You've got 'tattoos' similar to Tara's, a goatee to match her mustache and a much neater MINDY TOO on your forehead to match Chad's signature on Tara's. You look like a Halloween costume version of a criminal.

Tara all but snatches your phone, her expression mirroring yours as she sees her own face. She looks back up at the twins.

Then at you.

Then at Chad.

"Is that a sharpie?!" she exclaims, throwing the blankets off of her in a sudden burst of energy. Chad's laughter subsides and he glances down at his hand that is holding a sharpie. He drops the sharpie and grips Mindy's shirt from behind, pushing her in front of him as Tara steps up close.

You scramble up as well, knowing from experience that Tara's awfully scary when she's angry, even if she is only the size of half a Chad. Chad knows this, too.

"Wait, it wasn't even my idea, I don't even, I- I don't — Tara!"

But Tara's not listening. She's picked up the sharpie and is holding it like a knife. Mindy shakes Chad off of her, rushing out of the way in favor of not being caught in the crossfire. You wrap your arms around your girlfriend from behind, holding her back.

"No, it's funny, this is fun, come here!" she says to Chad, her tone saying the exact opposite her words are. "It's your turn."

It was, in fact, Chad's turn.

[badaseyebags]

private lessons ⋆｡°✩ chapter 2 ⟢

fluffy, suggestive, smut in upcoming chapters

word count: 3k+ (phew)

warnings: very obvious power dynamics, just some making out, a bit of begging, lots of praise, lots of pet names, BADA CALLS HERSELF MOMMY!!!! aaaa

author’s note: i’m back 😳 i’m sorry that this took much longer then i expected, pls don’t block me 😞 i hope this is readable and not too disappointing @-@ i promise there’s actual smut coming soon! feel free to leave some feedback/suggestions! thank you so much for reading ♡ -booger 🍞

with one last glance in the mirror you gathered the remainder of your courage and slipped on your shoes, grabbing your purse with shaky hands. why were you so nervous? it’s not like you’re going over to her house to get bent over. you’re simply going to get tutored. unfortunately you remind yourself why you’re in this position in the first place, due to your lack of concentration during her classes. you sigh shaking your head, applying a second coat your favourite lipgloss nonetheless, just for good measures! was it too much? was it obvious you put in a little more effort than you usually do? would she notice? why would she? and why do you even care so much in the first place? she’s just a teacher after all..

she had texted you the address and you realised she actually lived a bit further, which is probably why she offered to come pick you up in the first place, not wanting to inconvenience her any further you politely refused. maybe you were starting to regret it knowing it’ll take a long time to get there by bus, and you’ll most likely be late.. late to your first ever tutoring class, what a great way to start. woohoo!

you put your headphones on, making your way into the bus and finding an empty seat all the way in the back. that way you could have some privacy to collect yourself before you meet her. actually.. that wasn’t really working and you began getting more nervous so you decided to pull out your notebook to mindlessly doodle for the time being. it turned out quite cute you thought to yourself, staring at the sketch, imagining those two figures kissing were you and her. oh no, you’re doing it again. you and your stupid imagination! and that’s not even the first time you caught yourself doing something so silly. you close your notebook shoving it back into your bag, just a few stops away from your destination. phew. time to actually collect yourself!

with wobbly knees you make your way to her apartment, palms sweaty as you smooth them over your skirt. 10 minutes, you’re 10 minutes late.. would she notice? she’s having a day off that she sacrificed specifically to help you, and you dare come late? oh no, you’re definitely screwed. you start panicking as guilt washes over you, practicing your apology in your head, accidentally ringing her doorbell in the process. fuck. you didn’t mean to do that just yet, you weren’t ready. if you’re fast enough you can just ru-

you heard the door nob turning, soon revealing a tall slim figure in front of you. “oh miss y/n! you decided to show up after all, and here i thought you didn’t need my help anymore” she teases giving you a half smile making your heart jump, not only due to you being late, but because of how effortlessly attractive she looked with her two toned hair tied back into a messy loose braid, complimenting her light blue button up paired with some slacks. not to mention the sound of her half groggy voice calling out your name and the way it slid past her lips so smoothly.

“h-hello mrs. lee i am so sorry for being late! i didn’t”before you could finish your apology she chuckled, shaking her head. “no need to apologise sweetie, i was just teasing a little. come on in, make yourself at home.” you blink up at her, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. you just greeted her and messed up? damn already? was it because she called you sweetie?! god, you’re hopeless.

“i won’t bite.” she chuckled again, walking into her apartment leaving you with no choice but to follow behind her, timidly shutting the door as you entered. you swore you could hear her quietly mumble something under her breath, but you decided it was your twisted mind playing tricks on you once again. for the sake of your sanity. “here here, have a seat. care for some tea? coffee perhaps?” she pulls out a chair for you and this small gesture alone has your heart fluttering for no reason. you look down shyly, taking a seat and avoiding her gaze. “i..uh.. anything is fine, thank you.” you mumble trying not to keep yourself composed. she smiles nodding as she reaches for the jar of instant coffee. “i haven’t had my coffee yet, since i wasn’t sure if you’d like to drink some with me. do you like yours with milk, sugar?” was she calling you sugar or was she asking you whether or not you wanted sugar in your coffee? …and she waited for you to have coffee? yeah, as if. you need to stop being delusional. “miss y/n?” she glanced back at you knocking you of out your prolonged silence. “i-i would like both please.. i like my coffee s-sweet” you close your eyes in embarrassment as another stutter leaves your clumsy lips. you swear you never stutter. she chuckles in response as she prepares your drink. “we are quite the opposite, i prefer mine black.” she gives you a soft smile, sitting down across from you, setting your drink in front of you. you mutter a shy thank you as your hands reach for the spoon, mixing some sugar into the warm beverage. “oh that’s nothing, i usually make really good coffee but my coffee machine broke recently so.. instant coffee will have to do for now.” you nod quickly, fingers gripping the handle and side of the cup. “that’s fine! any coffee is good! i actually prefer instant it’s not like i know much about coffee anyways-” your lips are faster then your brain causing you to blurt out such a fact about you, which only made her smile wider. “oh we really are opposites, maybe i could change your mind once i make you a proper cup, hm?” you blush nodding fast in agreement, did that mean you’d be seeing her more then just this one time? you try to calm your nerves by bringing the cup to your lips, taking a little sip. maybe it’s better to keep your mouth busy so you don’t end up embarrassing yourself even more.

“so y/n… just how much experience do you really have?” she also brings her own cup to her lips, eyes fixated on yours. your eyes widen, the coffee you tried swallowing getting stuck in the back of your throat at her question, resulting you in coughing out loud making her put her cup down and lean towards you in worry. “are you alright sweetie? was it too hot? did it burn you?” you cover your mouth, calming yourself down as you shake your head noticing bada is very professional and calm despite asking such a personal question.

maybe you are too shy after all and you should be more open when it comes to talking about your sex life. people do it all the time, it’s totally natural. you hear others talk about it all the time. but then again why would she ask you such a private question out of nowhere? maybe she’s just a very social person, this is how adults talk and there shouldn’t be shame. it’s not like you ever talked about sexual things with anyone, but you know others do. like with their friends, parents, therapists, lovers.. you just need to get over the embarrassment and step out of your shell, you could learn a lot from her, be as mature as she is, even when it comes to such topics. she sure wouldn’t judge you no matter what, she’s a teacher after all. “i’m fine! i’m just.. not too good at talking about such topics.. but i… well…i don���t have much experience… none at all actually. that’s really embarrassing to admit. others my age have already done so.. many times.. maybe i am really slow or something..” you chew on your bottom lip, struggling to keep your head up to look at her, choosing to look into your cup instead. if you could see your own reflection in the coffee you’re sure your face would be beet red by now. that’s when bada herself chokes a little as your unexpected response.

you totally misinterpreted what she was asking. she was asking about your experience on the subject she was supposed to tutor you on, not your sexual experience. did she give you the wrong impression? was she being too obvious with her interest in you? were her flirting attempts not as subtle as she attempted? no way, with how empty headed you are they probably flew right past you, she thought. well.. it’s not like she wasn’t curious about that in the first place, but she wouldn’t have asked so suddenly. however, she didn’t have the heart to embarrass you like that by correcting you and telling you that you misunderstood her question.

she just cleared her throat and went along with it. was she willing to risk it all? this made her want to corrupt you even more, but she can’t. not yet. you made her lose her composure. she needed to fix that and get back in charge. she won’t let it, let you, fluster her. “sweetie..there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. that’s exactly what i’m here for.” she decided to test out the waters, see if you were as submissive and truly empty minded around her as she painted you to be. her hand was itching to get a feel of your skin, she was struggling to fight it. she needs to take this slow she reminds herself, she doesn’t want to scare you away. but it seems like you’re already falling into her trap. your eyes instantly snap up to meet hers, to make sure weather you heard her correctly.

“it would be such a pity if you left without learning anything.. wouldn’t that make me a bad teacher, hm?” she furrows her brows in faux sympathy as her hand finally reaches out, gently cupping your cheek making you look up at her. you gasp at the sudden contact and your current situation. “oh y-yeah… i’m here to be tutored-“ you try to avoid her gaze, once again looking down in embarrassment. your nervousness made you think of studying again, which is the reason she invited you over. right? you must be totally misunderstanding this. you’re just being delusional, you tell yourself.

despite you both sitting down she visibly towered over you, not just in her height, but in her presence alone. you could feel her knees ever so gently pressing against your own if you weren’t trying so hard to distract yourself.

was she sitting so close to you from the start?

she scoffs in amusement, her lips forming a fake frown. “oh you poor little thing.. you really thought i wouldn’t notice the way you look at me during class? that i can’t see right through that pretty little head of yours? you’re a smart girl y/n, we both know you don’t actually have a issue with learning..” your cheeks heat up as you’re forced to meet her gaze that looks more intimidating then ever. she just exposed you. she knew it this whole time. you didn’t think your crush on her was that visible. your lips part to speak but no words come out making her grin. her thumb slides past your bottom lip ever so gently, almost knocking the air out your lungs. “i think.. you could do so much better, all you need is just a little motivation.” she hovers over you, her thumb now reaching the corner of your lips, collecting the remainder of coffee and bringing it up to her own lips. her eyes flutter shut momentarily, licking her thumb clean and savouring the flavour with a hum. “so sweet indeed..” she hooks her pointer finger under your chin, making you look up at her. chuckling softly she leans in further, her thumb stroking just below your bottom lip as her eyes trail from your eyes to your lips and back. “are you gonna let me have a taste, doll?”

you gulp, your own eyes focused on her lips, slowly nodding as you look up at her. “now now, wouldn’t that be too easy?” she leans in closer, lips near your ear. “you’ll have to be a good girl and ask for it.” your mouth goes completely dry as you gulp. your hands clutch a fist full of your skirt, tension so thick it could cut air separating you two. you mutter under your breath, scared your voice will betray you. “mrs. lee.. could you.. umm.. can you kiss me?” you shut your eyes tight, hoping she would kiss you then and there. instead you only hear a dry chuckle.

you open your eyes, attention on her as she tucks a stray hair behind your ear, confusion painted on your face. “thats not how a good girl asks. not even a please? now that’s not very polite, is it? i’m starting to think you don’t deserve it.” you whine shaking your head. “no no i’m sorry! please… please kiss me?” you look up at her desperately. “aww you want a kiss that bad?” she coos cupping your cheek, smirking at the heat of it against her hand. you nod fast, leaning into her touch, totally submitting to her.

“use your words, tell mommy what you want.” she raises her brow, waiting for you to finally say it. your cheeks feel like they’re on fire now, heart beating faster then before as you stumble over your own words. “m-mommy?” you shyly repeat after her, eyes widening, cheeks painted red. you could see the shift in her eyes, and the way it affected her.

she closes her eyes for a little, biting her lip almost as if she’s savouring the sound of your voice calling her that. “how fucking cute.” she rests her thumb against your bottom lip, softly pulling it down. “doing such a good job begging mommy for a kiss…” you close your eyes tightly at her praise, almost whining from such a small action. she leans in, her lips just a few millimetres away from your own. you could feel her breath against your lips, covering your skin in goosebumps. she keeps one of her hands against your cheek, while the other rests against the top of the chair you’re sitting on. she gives your cheek a soft stroke before finally connecting both of your lips.

her soft plump lips smashing against yours felt like a reward. it felt like they were on fire, the way your lips burnt when she pressed her own against them. her fingers against your skin were so gentle, tracing the outline of your cheek, barely touching your skin as if you were made of glass. her lips were telling a different story as her kisses only deepened. you didn’t know what to do with your hands so you loosely griped the fabric of her blouse. she felt you fidgeting and decided to slide one of her hands down to reach for your hand, giving them a soft squeeze before wrapping them around her neck. this gave her the opportunity to drag her hands down your body as she scooped you up in her arms. without breaking the kiss she lifted you and placed you on the table next to her, making you wrap your arms around her tighter. she experimentally dragged her tongue against your bottom lip so gently, your lips parted in surprise. she smirked sneaking her tongue inside your parted lips that granted her access. you let out a little whimper at the feeling of your tongues gliding against each other. you could almost taste the bitterness of the coffee aftertaste mixing with your sweet one and for once, it was delicious. you were everything she wanted and she wanted.. needed more. eager to be closer to you, one of her hands slid down your thigh, slightly parting them as she pushed herself in between, she just couldn’t get enough. with one of her large hands hand stroking the outer side of your thigh, and other one playing with your hair you couldn’t help but shiver in her touch. it was like she was devouring you whole. your body feeling so soft and tiny pressed up against hers. it was driving her insane. she pulled away breathing heavy, admiring your flushed face and slightly messed up hair, remainders of your lipstick smeared all over your lips as you look at her with what she could only describe as hearts in your eyes.

fuck, she’s so screwed. she knows it’s over for her. you wrapped her around your pretty little finger and you didn’t even know about it. heck, you didn’t even have to do anything. you submit to her so easily and that was more then she needed. there’s no way she could just return to just being your teacher, she had to make you hers. you pout slightly as she pulls away, already reaching for her, wanting to feel her lips against yours again. you got her heart beating as hard as she made yours. subconsciously shivering in her arms. as she leans in placing gentle pecks on your lips followed by your cheeks, so much more gentle and affectionate then she was just moments ago. “mommy has to stop before she gets too greedy..” she breathes out as she cleans your messed up lips with her thumb, knowing what she meant you nod, still leaning into her touch. she pressed a final kiss to your lips before pulling you into her embrace, your head in her chest, hands soothing your back.

“let me drive you home precious, it’s way too late for you to be going out on your own.” she gently pats your head, before she realises. “you didn’t bring any jacket with you?” you shake your head at her question, once again fidgeting with your skirt, slightly swinging your feet back and forth as they dangled off the table. “i’m not letting you leave like this.” you blush looking up at her as she brings you her sweater that is much bigger on you then it is on her. she taps your arms signalling you to raise them which you do, making her smile as she dresses you up. “how cute..” she admires you for a moment, fighting back the urge to squeeze you in her arms before offering you her hand which you accept as she helps you off the table. unable to keep her hands off you, she’s smoothing her hands over your clothes in attempt to fix them. “are you ready to go, pretty girl?” she pecks your nose, grabbing her keys as she grabs your hand. you giggle nodding as your heart flutters at her treatment, clinging onto her arm, letting you guide you to her car.

of course she opened the door for you and closed it after you sat down before she got in herself. of course she told you to keep the sweater because she wants to see you in it more often. of course she told you to keep this a secret as she pecked your forehead goodbye. of course your head was filled with nothing but her as you laid in your bed, wearing nothing but her sweater as you drifted into slumber, hoping you could see her even in your dreams, the scenes from earlier on repeat. you were starting to really look forward to these private lessons..

[corrodedbisexual]

The original plushie

Steddie | G | ~4.1k | AO3 link

This fanart of Eddie sleeping with a bunch of stuffed toys by @baleful-blurbs infected my brain and refused to leave until this ridiculous fluffy thing got written 😭 Please make sure to reblog those wonderful sketches to support the artist who inspired the plushie silliness♥️

Featuring: Tooth-Rotting Fluff, seriously beware of cavities, Light Angst, Plushies, Childhood Memories, POV Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, Good Parent Wayne Munson, Requited Love, Cuddling, Getting Together, Boys In Love

The mortifying ordeal of Eddie's crush discovering his secret plushie cuddle nest turns out to be not so mortifying after all. Steve even starts borrowing said plushies to take back home with him; some time later, Eddie finds out why.

Snippet under the cut

“Who’s this?” Steve asks, grinning as he pokes at the teddy’s ridiculous smiley face. 

“Oh. That’s… that’s Mr. Boogers.” Eddie huffs and rolls his eyes. “Please don’t ask.”

Still grinning, Steve turns to him. “Well, now you know I gotta.” 

Eddie groans, rubbing a hand across his flustered face, and figures he might as well tell the story now that he’s dug his own grave. “He was, uh… kinda defective from the start, there were some stitches loose around his nose and there was stuffing coming out of it, like… well…”

Steve giggles. “Boogers. Gotcha.” 

“Yeah. Wayne grumbled about it and wanted to ask for a different one, but I was already in love with this one and clung to him and refused to trade. Cos like, you know how plushies of the same type are supposed to be identical but they’re really not ? And one of them has that perfect face and the others just seem off?” 

Eddie blushes, thinking now would be the moment he finally gets ridiculed for being twenty years old and having strong opinions on plushie faces of all things, but Steve just smiles and nods.

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I once spilled some gouache on a Mickey Mouse I owned and instead of washing him, mom just bought me a new one of the same series.” Steve sighs. “It was obvious 'cos his eyes were a little closer together and his smile wasn’t crooked to the left. I knew he wasn’t the same Mickey.” 

Again, Eddie’s heart aches for little Steve, like pretty much any time the boy reveals stories from his childhood in a tone too lighthearted for the words spoken, in Eddie’s opinion. Rich people really don’t value anything, huh. (With Steve being the obvious exception.)

“Yeah, see? You get it!” Eddie exclaims, pointing at Steve and putting more excitement into the words than he feels. Mostly, he just feels relieved and pleasantly surprised at how unexpectedly he and Steve managed to bond over their shared fondness for their childhood toys. “So anyway, Wayne relented and we took this funny guy home, my uncle patched him up, but the nickname stuck. Mr. Boogers. Boogie for short.”

Steve laughs again, but there’s nothing malicious about it as he looks back to the teddy in his lap and flicks his ear.

“Nice to meet you, Boogie,” he says with an affectionate smile that makes Eddie want to burrow his face into the mattress and giggle like an idiot. 

And maybe scream a little, because what the fuck. It should be illegal for your crush to talk cute to your goddamn childhood plushies.  

Whole fic on AO3

[thegr33nc0met]

Dating Stu Macher Headcanons ♥︎

Alternative!Reader

CONTENT WARNINGS: NSFW, GN Reader/unspecified anatomy, Switch!Stu (a little heavy on the sub side), Switch!Reader, overstimulation, light bondage, pet names, after care

I’m so sorry this took so long to post and that I forgot to add the cat bit:(( I’ve just been a bit busy with work and stuff but I hope you enjoy!!

SFW

♥︎ Stu loves loves LOVES your style. soft band tees, long flowing clothes and light fabrics? he’s eating you up. om nom nom.

the way they wrap around your body like a silky cocoon is just MAGICAL to him. you’re like a witch covered in fog and spider’s silk bro.

♥︎ if you wear makeup, he is very intrigued by how you do it and will definitely make you put some on him. you know that picture of someone laying on top of another person while they do their eyeliner?? yeah that’s you guys.

he loves when you kiss him and leave a cute little lipstick stamp on his cheek.

same with painting his nails. like if you paint your nails black, he will BEG you to do his as well (i like to imagine he bites his nails, so it’s kinda hard to do with how short they’re bitten down).

♥︎ he’ll discover a band or artist that he thinks is even slightly alternative and he’ll ask if you know them (then make you listen to them if you haven’t). they may not actually be alternative, but he’s trying his best to be supportive<3

LOVES going to concerts with you. the whole vibe of the alternative/goth community is so refreshing to him. he thinks everyone is so chill and nice:)

♥︎ as I’ve stated before, his love languages are gift giving and acts of service. anything you want, he’s gonna get it for you one way or another (whether he buys it or steals it, it’s YOURS). if you guys are hanging out at the local strip mall and you get something, he’ll carry all your shopping bags for you<<33 he’ll buy you things even if you don’t ask for it; you’re constantly getting new clothes and jewelry from him that he thinks you’ll like.

he will hold doors open for you and carry your backpack at school. he’ll even let you hop on his back if you get tired of walking.

Stu definitely calls you cutie. i also think he loves to make up random nicknames on the spot. pookie bear, schnookums, muffin, ducky, sweet potato pie, honey booger.. silly stuff like that, but they’re mostly used in a humorous way. cutie is his favourite pet name for you.

♥︎ loves when you borrow his sweaters, whether they’re big enough to be a dress on you or fit you as a regular sweater, or just a lazy day shirt… it gives him cuteness aggression to the max. he just wants to squeeze you til you pop!!<3

♥︎ MOVIE NIGHTS ALL THE TIME!!! he loves cuddling up against you on the couch, a blanket draped across the two of you as some cheesy slasher film plays on the tv. will go all out with snacks (he’s the type of person to put m&ms in his popcorn so be warned if that’s not your thing).

♥︎ he’s always gotta have an arm slung over your shoulders or hips no matter where you are.

NSFW

♥︎ oh lord… this man.. the first time you guys have sex is a wild ride let me tell you!!

♥︎ STU👏IS👏A👏SWITCH👏!!!

♥︎ he loves going down on you. he wants to give you as many orgasms with his mouth as possible until you can hardly handle it. he wants to give you as much pleasure as he can so you know you’re his. so you know no one else can make you feel as good as he does.

once you’re whimpering and nearly crying from overstimulation, he’ll pull his mouth away from your abused sex and rub his big hands over your trembling legs and coo comforting shushes at you until you settle down before he’s sliding inside. he’ll make you come over and over again until he’s satisfied.

♥︎ but if you wanna be dominant?? USE HIM HOWEVER YOU WANT HE’LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU AND LET YOU DO ANYTHING TO HIM.

he’s definitely a service bottom when/if you’re dominant. he just wants to make you feel good as possible.

♥︎ if you tease him while he’s bottoming and gets real desperate, he starts giggling like a mad man between broken moans. god he’s just so DESPERATE FOR YOU TO TOUCH HIM.

“hehehehehehha—ungh!~ yes!— heheh..” as a sheen of sweat is covering his hot body and tears are streaming down his cheeks, pooling at his chin, squirming and writhing against the restraints as you teasing drag the pads of your fingers up to his leaking tip. “p-please… just keep touching me like that… you’ll make me feel good? right, cutie? you’ll let me come?” he pants out, biting down on his lip to keep the nervous laughter from bubbling up again, his pretty blue eyes lidded as he stares you down.

♥︎ imagine him throwing his head back and letting out the sluttiest moan when you finally take him inside you after teasing him for so long.

“th-thank you… god, fuck! you feel so fuckin’ good…” he practically growls out, smiling widely in ecstasy as you fuck him. he lets out the most pathetic whimpers and moans when he finally comes inside you, ‘thanks yous’ falling repeatedly from his mouth.

♥︎ he loves giving as much as he loves receiving after care. if it’s not too late at night/if the two of you aren’t too tired, he’ll get a shower running for both of you, and loves to clean you up while pressing gentle kisses to any part of your body he can. he’d love it if you did the same for him. then after the shower, he’ll get you a cup of water before cuddling back up with you in bed and falling asleep<3

comments and reblogs are always appreciated!!🫶

[shaniacsboogara]

My dream party for a Watcher DnD podcast:

Steven Lim. This man commits to the bit on a level that I don't think I'll ever be able to comprehend. He is EVERYTHING. The amount of chaotic energy he brings to the Watcher Cinematic Universe is incredible and watching him play DnD again would probably mend every single piece of my little rotten soul.

Ryan Bergara. I know, Ryan would OBVIOUSLY be in the party if they made a show, but WE NEED TO HIGHLIGHT HOW AWESOME HE IS. Again, incredibly chaotic energy, committing to the bit, lots of good vibes, the whole shebang. But what I'd be most excited for would be for Ryan to play in a long term campaign and start going full conspiracy theorist with the lore. It would be incredible.

Katie Leblanc. Just watch her as Quezza in Sdndnd. That's all. She's so wonderful.

Joyce Louis-Jean. JOYCE. IS. EVERYTHING. She's incredibly funny, charming, and would create the most kickass PCs, I can feel it in my BONES. I support Joyce rights and Joyce wrongs, and would be thrilled to see both unfold in a campaign.

Ricky Wang. I think Ricky would be an INCREDIBLE person to have at the table. Sure, he isn't as openly chaotic as Steven / Shane / Ryan, but he brings this subtle, supportive energy to the shows he's on. He has such a wonderful presence, and I feel like he'd be an incredible team player. Plus, he's got a bit of a chaotic streak too. We've seen how excited he got about the potential of committing arson on that one ph episode.

"But Boog, where is Shane?"

Oh, you silly silly booger, Shane would be the DM! After seeing his storytelling prowess in the hot daga / puppet history / sdndnd, I would be absolutely THRILLED to see a patented Shane Madej™ homebrew world. Can you IMAGINE the lore he'd create??? The NPCs???

Alternatively, if Shane doesn't DM, I think Brennan Lee Mulligan would be a great fit to play with the Watcher crew. However, it would also be cool to see Brennan as a player in the campaign.

A few other people I think would be incredible for the Watcher crew to play with (feel free to add on to the list):

Anyone from the D20 gang (Zac Oyama, Lou Wilson, Emily Axford... etc), any of the Try Guys, Brittany Broski, Matt Mercer (I just think it would be silly), Garrett Watts, Sara Rubin...

[grapecaseschoices]

OC in 15: Kendis Crawford-Louel

rules: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

I was tagged by @deepinifhell and am woefully delayed in getting on this.

Tagging: @thedeadthree @thee-morrigan @nat-seal-well @nightingalesighs @laufire @lusavors @cypresswrites @thelittlestspider @mt07131 @roxaro @quaxorascal @tuomniia @andthatisnotfake @sunshineandviolets @sapphic-story [tagged fifteen peeps! i think! and as always no pressure!]

Most of the dialogue from old rp stuff repurposed for this meme, some from unposted stuff, and a few I made up for this. (As warning: some cussing)

-----

1] However, strangeness of the situation proves that the metal gates aren’t fully down around the castle, because she bites out, bluntly, “No! No. I’m not okay.” Her breath hitches. “Don’t. D-don’t follow that up with another question. I thought we talked about this.”

By ‘we’ and ‘talked’, she meant the time she summarily shut down his last attempt to dig deeper. It should’ve been obvious by now that Kendis didn’t like accepting what they insisted on dishing out.

-

2] "Yook, Kenny, yook!"

"What'm I lookin' at, teeny tyke? --- Well, now. Look at that! Is that me? In fact, I know that's me. That's the second prettiest person in this entire art of prettiness. And is the one right next to me you? It's got to be 'cause that's definitely the prettiest person in this."

"You siwwy, Kenny. Boys not be pretty!"

"Am I? Well, if you're sayin' that's right then I'll consider it. But being silly doesn't mean I'm wrooooong~. Boys can be very pretty, kiddo. People can be whatever they wanna be so long as they're --- kind, yeah? And you're the kindest, prettiest, most talented teeny tyke, I've ever known. Oh, now you're laughin' at me, huh? Well, Ima show you 'bout that teeny brat."

-

3] "Who invented white allosexuals, like for real? Someone return this woman to sender."

-

4] "We're not even four days into a fucking New Year and this shit stain is stinkin' up the place."

-

5] "And I get that it's different things for different people. But I rather lose a place, than lose the people that matter with it."

-

6] "I know you've probs been lied to lately. But you're really not cute."

-

7] "He obvi picked bad pics on purpose, you Italian booger."

-

8] "I'm like Siri. Except better looking, smarter, much louder, and not an AI slave to a hegemonic hell-hole that stole the name of one of the best fruits. Like ever."

-

9] "Um, excuse you. I'm not reckless. What 'bout me screams the self sacrifice type?"

-

10] "Hey. Hey! Look at me! That's it ... slow breaths. I've got you. Do you -- you're okay, slowly ... Do you remember what I told you last week? Just nod. I've got you. I've got ya. You remember this? That's my pinky. We pinky promised -- the biggest and most bindable way to lock in a promise, yeah? And you may not know this about me, but I don't make promises that I can't see through. I said you're gonna be okay. And I mean that. I'm gonna make it happen, okay? I'll -- I'm here now and I'll be there at the end. Prommy, prommy, prommy, prommy, pro -- oh, a laugh, huh? Ha. That's what I like hearing. Leave the worryin' to me, dude."

-

11] "If this human version of a mutated ingrown armpit hair follicle don't get up off my face in the next 10, 9, 8, 7, …."

-

12] “Ow! Fudging snowcaps! That bitch hur –” They stopped mid-yelling but simply began complaining underneath their breath.

-

13] "I'm --," Kendis gestured sharply with their right hand as if orchestrating their feelings or encouraging Morgan to jump in. Not that they gave her much of a chance when they quickly added, "You know."

"You're?" Morgan smirked, "You know? I don't think I do."

"Yes. You do."

"Nah, nothing's ringing a bell."

"Well, that's probably all the brain damage you got from the last fight."

"Right. I remember that. The fight where I got stabbed instead of you."

Kendis' nostrils flare and their jaw clenches so tightly Morgan almost feels a sympathy twinge in her own teeth.

-

14]

“Then why won’t you tell me you love me? Maybe a little reward so I can be brave?”

“‘Cause a face full of kisses wasn’t enough? Wow.”

“Sure,  it was nice but this is a big deal. I think I deserve a bigger reward.”

“Aren’t rewards for after you actually do the stuff?”

“You’re right. How about you say ‘I love you’ just because you do!”

“You look cute when you pout an’ you’re gonna be late.”

“Please, Kendis? We’ve been dating for a while now and … That is – Unless – You don’t.”

“I don’t what?”

“You know you are always avoiding it, saying how you feel about me, and you’ve never come close to saying the words .. and sometimes I’ve wondered … I’ve been very patient the last several months –”

“Then keep on with that.”

“Okay. Okay. Kendis. Do you love me?”

“Can we talk about this later? This ain’t as black an’ white as you’re making it look like.”

“But it is.  It is a very black and white question with a very black and white answer. Do you love me?”

“Austyn. Austyn? Stop that! What’re you doin’?  Don’t. You’re – fuckin’ –”

“These are the notes I wrote you. Look at them. Look how far they reach on your floor. Look!”

“No”

“You never even wrote it back. I kept saying it and writing it and you never gave anything back … B-because … because you don’t.”

“I never gave – We’re not doin’ this right now. Again. Why’re you doin’ this right now? We don’t even have the time to really get into -”

“What is there to get into?  It’s yes or no,  Kendis! If you say that, then it will be all settled.”

“Maybe stop cuttin’ me off an’ let me speak.”

“You cut me off first! And don’t you start raising your voice at me!”

“You started that shit first, yourself! What is with you?”

“Why are you acting like I am overreacting? I’m not! It isn’t wrong to want to know whether or not my best friend is in love with me. It isn’t wrong to know if you really see a future with us together or if you’ve been just tagging along because I’m one of the very few other out girls in school.”

“You called me your best friend.”

“What?” 

“You should know how I feel. You say I don’t give you nothin’ back but that’s a damn lie an’ you know it.”

“Then why don’t you say it? I say it all the time!”

“But are you really meanin’ it?”

“Uh - Wha – EXCUSE ME!?!!” 

“Are you? How can I say those words to someone that's not a sure thing? You talk a lot about a future that ain’t here but what you really got to say for the now.”

“Wow. Asshole.” 

“Takes one.”

“Fine. Don’t love me. I think it’s best if we take some space right now and reconsider our priorities.”

“Austyn. I didn’t mean – Austyn this is silly.”’

“Is it?”

“Why're we even doin’ this right now? What about the formal?” 

“Don’t call me unless I call you.”

“Austyn!”

“Don’t.”

“You know what? Fuck you.”

“Apparently not even in the next few months, asshole.”

-

15]

Kendis narrowed her eyes but forced herself to take a deep breath, “You. Bumped into. Me!” Honestly, that was a generous and kind assessment. If Kendis had been human, she doubted she would’ve been able to stand with only a headache and a bad mood to show for it.

“Yeah, because you slowed down when you weren’t supposed to! I was keeping pace with you, speeding by the way, and then allva sudden –”

“I know you’re not blaming me for any of this, let alone your speeding, you Stranger Things reject.”

“Excuse me?”

Kendis felt that anger again – no, they could almost taste it. It was just wafting off the air from the shifter in front of them. It was churning up their stomach like sick, this anger that wasn’t their rage.

It was restless, like her’s was, but was also too hard, too cold.

Not right, not right. The warning blared in Kendis’ gut. Something was off and they needed to leave.

“Don’t!” They warned when the person reached out to grab at them, clearly making Kendis ready to skedaddle. The sharp yell struck out like a roll of thunder, loud and final enough to make this person hesitate, before Kendis’ voice dropped into a growl, “Don’t. Touch. Me.” [x]

[clavissionary-position]

Luke: Aw man, everything hurts...

Luke: (pulls two chairs from the Round Table and rests one ass-cheek in each)

Licht: (looks up from his power nap) Luke? Didn't expect you to be here so early.

Luke: I wasn't plannin' on it, but then Chevvie manifested seven more towers of documents. So I decided to let my body follow my spirit out of the room.

Licht: (yawns) Sounds rough.

Luke: Mhmm. (spritzes honey into a napkin and inhales aroma-therapeutically)

Rio: (bursts into the meeting room) Sorry to keep you waiting!

Licht: You're right on time.

Rio: (takes a seat) I wish you could see how cute my mistress looked while she picked her nose in secret.

Licht: I'd rather not.

Luke: That does sound kinda cute.

Licht: Why are you picking your nose?

Luke: Can't help it. It's a reflex. Whenever I hear someone talking about it, my finger just...

Rio: I think my mistress is the same. Maybe you two would have made a perfect couple in another world.

Licht: Do you... need a moment?

Rio: (smiles and shakes his head no even as his eyes fill with tears)

Luke: (stares at Licht and Rio) You guys gettin' that weird feelin of déjà vu again?

Licht: Like there's a world somewhere where the three of us gather together a couple times a year to host a broadcast program about a dating simulation while performing skits where the three of us in this world have silly conversations with one or two of the other guys?

Rio: Oh no. I'm getting chills. (picks his nose for a sense of security)

Luke: I always had this nauseous feeling, like that was the 'real world' and we're just pixels. I don't even know what pixels are, I just know that there's a high possibility that's what we are.

Licht: So us here, we're imaginary? Like—

Azel: (organizing coins at the far end of the table) Like a dream, right?

Azel: (smiles ethereally) Would you like to wake up?

Azel: !

Azel: (narrowly dodges flying booger) Which one of you—

Licht: (blows on the tip of his finger and puts it back in its holster)

[lost-item]

Okay, soo I've gotten OBSESSED with Smiling Friends.

I love the silly crossover fan art I see of Charlie and Pim trying to help other characters from different shows/universes.

So why Not combine this current fixation with one of my long lasting ones?

Mob Psycho 100.

Everything's below the cut >:)

Okay so this shit works so well.

You got Mob, who doesn't smile like ever genuinely. Can have Charlie and Pim trying to help him ask Tsubomi out. But it obviously gets deeper than that and all fucked with his powers, him masking and not showing emotion, and the cursed ass antics of ???%.

There's also the beloved Reigen. I could see him and Allan having fun together, as they both got ties.

Dimple 100% would team up with Boss. They both LITERALLLYYY have the same objective: Make people smile. Dimple with his cult, Boss with his company. It'd be so fun to see what they could get up to. Dimple could posses Boss, too, since Boss already has crazy demonic shit going on with him.

Oh and both have little silly green booger looking guys. I see Dimple and Glep being good pals.

There are sooo many more characters they could interact and help with, but these main three are the solid ones I've thought of so far.

[nostalgic-woodwind]

Imagination in a Box (TADC! Nursery AU)

Plot: The babies are given an empty cardboard box, and they have to use their imagination to see what it can be used as.

Heavily based (and quoted) on a Baby Looney Tunes episode called “Card Bored Box”.

The clay booger bit is heavily referenced by a Bluey episode called “Stories”.

TADC! Nursery AU belongs to @txttabloid

It was raining outside, and the babies were staring out the window in their playroom.

“Man, this stinks…” Jax groaned. “Why does the rain have to ruin our fun and force us inside?”

“It’s spring. Caine says it rains all the time during the spring. What else is new?” Zooble rolled their eyes.

“I know! We can play in here until the rain stops,” Ragatha suggested.

“We’ve played with every toy in here. Many times.”

“Oh…”

“I can read from my insect books to you guys,” Kinger said.

“You read all of them to us. A bajillion times,” Jax countered.

Caine flew into the playroom to check on the babies and saw the bored expressions on the their faces.

“My, my! What’s with the long faces, kids?” Caine asked.

“It’s been raining for ages! We’re bored,” Pomni said.

“Hmm… why don’t you all play a game?”

“But we’ve already played with every toy and game and read every book in this whole circus. Many times,” Jax argued.

“Oh? How many times is that?”

“Too many!” the babies exclaimed in unison.

“I just wish there was something fun that we could do,” Gangle sighed.

“Something that we never did before,” Ragatha added.

Caine scratched his chin to figure out how the babies could be entertained. A lightbulb popped above his head when he got an idea.

“I’ll be right back,” Caine said as he flew out of the playroom.

The babies looked at each other with confusion and shrugged.

The ringmaster came back a minute later and brought in a giant cardboard box.

“Ooh, what’s inside the box?” Gangle pondered.

“Is it a new toy?” Jax asked excitedly.

Caine opened the box, which had nothing inside. The babies were shocked, then disappointed.

“Hey, where’s the new toy?” Jax frowned.

"There’s no need for a new toy for today's rainy day adventure, Jax,” Caine replied.

“Oh, great… another adventure…” Zooble muttered.

“I think you’ll like this one a lot, Zooble. Today’s adventure is called 'Imagination in a Box'," Caine announced. "You have to use your imagination to see what this box could be!"

"Caine, what's imagi… imagina…?" Ragatha questioned, having trouble pronouncing the word “imagination”.

"Imagination is when you picture things with your mind. This box here can be anything you want it to be."

The babies were still confused on what Caine was talking about.

“Why don’t you kiddos take a look out the window?” Caine asked as he pointed at said window. “See those clouds up in the sky?”

“Yeah?” the babies responded.

“The clouds can form into any shape your mind pictures them out to be. For example, I can imagine that one of the clouds is a dinosaur.”

“Ooooh!”

“What do you kids see?”

“I can see a beetle!” Kinger pointed at one of the clouds.

“And I see a puppy!” Ragatha exclaimed.

“See? That’s a prime example of using your imagination,” Caine said. “That’s what I want you to do with this box. Just imagine what this box can be and you won’t be bored. Good luck and have fun, my little superstars!”

Caine then left the playroom as the babies headed over to the box.

“So, we have the box. What are we supposed to do with it again?” Pomni asked.

“We have to use our imagination,” Gangle explained. “I’m going to pretend it’s an art school.”

“I don’t see it an art school,” Ragatha disagreed. “I see it as a doctor’s office.”

“I think it’s supposed to be a house?” Pomni questioned.

“What about you, Zooble?” Ragatha asked.

“I don’t know, a pirate ship, I guess?” Zooble shrugged.

“Those ideas are silly,” Jax laughed. “I say that it’s the world’s fastest racing car!”

“Well, I think it’s the world’s tallest, biggest castle in the world, given the fact that I’m a royal,” Kinger said. “It even has a humungous room for my insect collection!”

“No way!”

The babies started arguing about what the box was really for. They argued and argued until Ragatha cried out, “Wait!”

“This isn’t working out. There’s only one way to know what the box is,” Ragatha said.

“I’m glad you’re starting to see things my way,” Jax smirked with pride.

“No, Jax, we should take turns imagining all of what we just said. We’ll play art school first, then doctor, then house, then pirate ship, then race car, and then castle.”

“So we’ll see which idea is more fun than the others?” Gangle asked. “And then, the best idea wins?”

“Exactly!”

———

Gangle’s Idea: Art School

“Welcome to art school!” Gangle greeted her students. “I am your teacher, Miss Gangle, and we’re going to be making things out of clay.”

“What kind of things are we making?” Pomni asked as she raised her hand.

“You can make anything you want. All that matters is that you have fun and get creative! Now, get to work, class!”

The rest of the babies spent some time crafting and sculpting whatever they wanted with the clay that Gangle gave them.

“Alright, let’s see what you came up with,” Gangle said once time was up. She flew around to critiue her students’ projects, starting with Pomni.

Pomni made a duck, Ragatha made a cat, Kinger made a butterfly, and Zooble made a penguin.

“You guys made such great sculptures!” Gangle praised. “But, where’s Jax?”

Jax snuck behind Gangle and sneezed while holding up a clay next to his nose. Gangle yelped and jumped in surprise.

“Booger!” Jax shouted as Gangle ran away crying.

“Eww!” the rest of the babies cringed.

“Jax, you can’t scare the teacher,” Ragatha berated.

“What? Gangle said we can make whatever we wanted, didn’t she?” Jax shrugged.

“Anyway, it’s my turn.”

———

Ragatha’s Idea: Doctor’s Office

“There you go, sir,” Ragatha said to Kinger after giving him a pretend checkup. “Just drink plenty of water and rest, and your sticker-itis will go away in a few days.”

“Thank you,” Kinger, covered in stickers, nodded.

“Oh, I almost forgot your lollipop.”

Ragatha went over to her doctor’s bag to grab a lollipop for her patient when she saw that they were gone.

“Hey, where did my lollipops go?” Ragatha questioned.

She then heard a burp and looked over at Jax, who had lollipop wrappers and sticks next to him.

“Nurse Jax! Those lollipops were for the patients!” Ragatha scowled.

Jax let out another burp, which made Ragatha sigh and face palm.

———

Pomni’s Idea: House

Pomni was setting up the table at her house when the door knocked.

“I’ll get it,” Pomni said. “It must be the guests.”

The jester went to the door and opened it for the guests. Ragatha and Zooble were the parents, Gangle was the parents’ daughter, Kinger was the family’s dog, and Jax was Gangle’s baby brother.

“I hate this…” Jax grumbled.

“Hello there. Welcome to our house,” Pomni greeted. “Please come inside.”

The family then walked inside the home.

“My, what a cute baby you have!” Pomni cooed at Jax.

“Wah! Wah!” Jax pretend-cried.

“Oh, my! Your baby must be hungry.”

The jester pulled out a baby bottle and put it in Jax’s mouth, only for him to spit it out.

“Blegh! Baby formula!” Jax exclaimed.

“Now, now, baby, that’s not polite,” Zooble scolded. “Remember, you’re a guest in someone’s home.”

Pomni put the bottle back in Jax’s mouth, causing everyone to laugh.

“Okay, this isn’t so bad,” Zooble chuckled, which made Jax glare at them.

“Why don’t we all sit down and have some refreshments?” Pomni proposed as everyone sat around the table. The jester handed Kinger a squeaky bone and served the rest of the babies some cookies on a plate.

“You didn’t have to go through so much trouble,” Ragatha said as she took a bite of a cookie, only to recoil at its taste.

Zooble and Gangle each ate a cookie, only to shudder in disgust as well.

“Yeah, Pomni… you really shouldn’t have…” Zooble gagged.

“Uh, Miss Pomni, what kind of cookies are these?” Gangle asked.

“It’s my famous recipe: pureed beets and oatmeal raisin,” Pomni said. She saw the disgusted looks on her guests’ faces and her face fell. “Are they not good?”

“Now, now, Mama, Dada, and big sister, that’s not polite,” Jax smirked. “Remember, you’re guests in someone’s home.”

Ragatha, Zooble, and Gangle managed to eat all of the cookies on the plate.

“Those… those were really good cookies,” Ragatha groaned.

“Yeah, it’s a shame they’re all gone,” Zooble mumbled.

“All gone? I made a lot more so you can take some to go,” Pomni said as she pulled out another plate of her cookies.

Ragatha, Zooble, and Gangle screamed in horror and fainted. Jax laughed and wheezed while Kinger took a bite of a cookie and gagged.

“Kinger, cookies aren’t good for dogs,” Pomni chastised.

———

Zooble’s Idea: Pirate Ship

Zooble had transformed the box into their own pirate ship. They looked through their telescope and spotted a chest of toys.

“Argh! I spot some burried treasure up ahead!” Zooble exclaimed. “First mate Ragatha!”

“Yes, Captain Zooble-beard?” Ragatha asked as she walked over to the captain.

“Go down to the deck and tell the crew to hoist up the anchor so we can set sail.”

“Yes, Captain Zooble-beard.”

Ragatha climbed down the box and headed to the galley, where Jax, Kinger, Pomni, and Gangle were swabbing the poop deck.

“Attention, crew, Captain Zooble-beard said to-” Ragatha began to say.

“Yeah, yeah, we heard her,” Jax rolled his eyes.

Ragatha climbed back up to the ship.

“This isn’t fair… Zooble and Ragatha are doing all the fun stuff and we’re stuck down here doing all of the chores,” Jax complained.

“What are we going to do?” Kinger asked.

Jax thought about it for a minute, then got an idea.

“I know! We’re gonna sneak up to the deck, and then…” Jax said to the crew before whispering the rest of his idea to them.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Jax? What if we get in trouble?” Pomni worried.

“No need to worry! It’s four of us and two of them.”

Jax, Pomni, Gangle, and Kinger ended up getting caught and tied up by the captain and first mate.

“Since you four decided to betray your own captain and take over the ship, I shall make you walk the plank!” Zobble declared.

“Walk the plank?!” Jax gasped.

“Walk the plank?!” Kinger trembled.

“Walk the plank?!” Pomni gulped.

“Walk the plank?!” Gangle whimpered.

The crew then got confused.

“What’s a plank?” The crew asked Zooble.

“It means that first mate Ragatha and I are going to throw you overboard,” Zooble frustradedly clarified.

“Well, I’m over this and bored,” Jax rolled his eyes. “It’s my turn to show you what the box is really used for.”

———

Jax’s Idea: Race Car

Jax set the box up like a race car. He pretended that he was speeding and racing against other race cars.

“Uh-oh, better pull into the pit stop,” Jax said as he drove over to the said pit stop. “Alright, team! Change the oil! Refill the gas tank! Change the tires! We’ve got a lot to do if I’m gonna win the grand prix!”

The pit crew, however, didn’t budge. They were completely bored and didn’t care about Jax’s race car game.

“For the last time, we’re not changing anything,” Zooble stated.

“You’re not even gonna refill my sippy cup with carrot juice?” Jax asked as he held out his empty sippy cup.

“No.”

“Well, I think it’s my turn now, and I think you guys are going to like this game,” Kinger spoke up.

———

Kinger’s Idea: Castle

Kinger was sitting upon his throne, admiring his beetle plushie and pretending it was his pet.

“Oh, Maxwell, it is a lovely day in my kingdom,” Kinger said as he got up and walked over to his friends, who were dressed up in royal costumes.

The chess piece held the plushie to his ear. “What’s that? Oh, yes, we should invite my royal subjects to a tour to of my insect collection room. Our collection has grown a lot over the past year!”

“Gee… this may be fun for you, but this is ridiculous for me,” Jax, dressed as a knight, complained. “I enjoyed the race car game the best.”

The bunny proceeded to throw his race car costume in the box.

“I had much more fun playing doctor,” Ragatha, dressed as a queen, said as she tossed her doctor’s kit in the box.

“I liked playing house,” Pomni, dressed as a prince, stated as she chucked her cookies in the box.

“Pirates wasn’t even that bad,” Zooble, dressed as a princess, admitted as they threw their pirate stuff in the box.

“And I liked art school,” Gangle, dressed as a dragon, said as she put her art supplies in the box.

The babies began squabbling over which game was the best. They shouted and began playing tug-of-war with the box.

Suddenly, the box flew out of the babies hands and transformed into something new, something that caused the babies to gasp in awe. The box transformed into a mega house that had all of the babies' stuff split into different sections.

“What is it?” Ragatha asked.

“It’s a pirate-castle-art school-racing-doctor-house!” Gangle realized.

“Oh, come on! There’s no such thing,” Jax scoffed.

“Not if you use your imagination.”

The babies excitedly ran over to the box.

———

Caine went into the playroom to check on the babies when he saw them having the time of their lives, doing their own thing in the box.

“My, my! What’s happening in here?” Caine asked.

“We’re using our imagination,” Kinger said.

“Yeah, and do you know what the best part about it is? We put our imaginations together,” Pomni said.

“Well, I must say, I’m impressed!” Caine smiled. “You turned a plain, old box into a… uh, what is it, exactly?”

“A pirate-castle-art school-racing-doctor-house,” Gangle explained.

“Oh, a pirate-castle-art school-racing-doctor-house! That’s impressive!”

Caine then flew over to the window and opened the curtains.

“I came in here to tell you that the rain stopped, so you guys are free to go out and play,” Caine said, only to notice that the babies weren’t really paying attention. They were laughing and having fun with their pirate-castle-art school-racing-doctor-house. Caine chuckled at this and flew off, leaving the babies to their adventure.

[lesbomination]

Randy Cunningham 9th Grade Ninja Season 1a

Liveblog for Episodes 1 through 26; chronological release order.

Last Stall on the Left: Decent opening episode. It gives you a good sense of who the characters are and what they’re up against when dealing with McFist. Leaves The Sorcerer unnamed yet a visible, clear presence.

Lesson Rating: “Believe in the weapon that is in the suit”. Randy was on to something when he thought he had to believe in himself; taken literally, the lesson feels more lackluster. 3/5. Episode Rating: 4/5.

Got Stank: Real funny expressions, okay episode. Introduces the Sorcerer’s power but not his name.. Could have swapped with the next episode had the show been more focused on chronological events.

Lesson Rating: “The Evil Funk possesses the vulnerable using that which he holds most dear”. Literally a fact, no deeper meaning. 1/5. Episode Rating: 2/5.

So U Think U Can Stank: Another weak episode but it finally introduces the Sorcerer and his motivations, plus raises the stakes by giving Randy multiple objectives this episode.

Lesson Rating: The Story of The Sorcerer. No lesson but it gives a much better picture of our greatest antagonist. 5/5. Episode Rating: 3/5.

McFists of Fury: Randy is not immune to capitalism, even when it tries to kill him.

Lesson Rating: “Beware the enemy who wears a hero’s mask”. Absolutely could come in handy later. 5/5 Episode Rating: 2/5

Gossip Boy: Oh, Howard..

Lesson Rating: “The way to forget is to remember”. The advice could go in a different direction, say learn from your mistakes, but is honestly quite clever & creative in having Howard force himself to be distracted by something else. I can’t even be mad at that. 4/5 Episode Rating: 3/5

House of 1,000 Boogers: A nasty but creative premise.

Lesson Rating: “A Ninja must master the art of stealth: Reveal, conceal; conceal, reveal”. Very important for a showman like Randy. 4/5 Episode Rating: 2/5

Monster Dump: I always like it when Bucky shows up. Very neat how Viceroy follows the same lesson! Surprisingly cute episode.

Lesson Rating: “A Ninja must never endanger the innocent, but he must always defend the defenseless”. Another very important lesson for Randy specifically. 5/5. Episode Rating: 4/5

Attack of the Killer Potatoes: The ADHD of it all. Not a huge fan of the toilet humor but the subsequent jokes made me chuckle. Bash’s lines kill me. I did like the potato monster’s animation, actually.

Lesson Rating: “When faced with a mighty enemy, counter with a mightier force”. Preferred the lesson for the first fight, not so much the second – but what can you do, the show thrives off absurdity. 4/5 Episode Rating: 2/5

The Tale of the Golden Doctor’s Note: Yay Julian! Love this guy, he’s so silly. Ngl I’m enjoying the Sorcerer more with each appearance. I strongly emphasize with Randy and Howard, I too hated high school gym class. Loved all the dynamic poses in this episode.

Lesson Rating: “The best way to avoid an attack is to avoid an attack”. Could be read as avoid provoking your enemy but in actuality the lesson is to just do something even though you don’t want to. Also to avoid unnecessary hostility. Good for combating laziness. 3/5 Episode Rating: 4/5

Dawn of the Driscoll: The Driscolls are so funny. Another grade-based episode I emphasize with, I was not good at science classes; however, I did NOT abridge procedures and raise the dead. Shoutout to Marlene “I like dangerous men” Driscoll. Silly Halloween episode.

Lesson Rating: “Forbidden knowledge of the shadow warrior; the art of healing” / “Don’t take shortcuts”. The actual lesson Randy learns isn’t spelled out in the Nomicon but it is valuable. 5/5 Episode Rating: 3/5

Night of the Living McFizzles: Second Halloween episode. Literally how long are nights in Norrisville. Super funny to me how Howard and Theresa dress up as real people they know. Extra points for Michael Jackson Zombie and The Shining hallway. Not a fan of the vomit solution.. 

Lesson Rating: N/A. Episode Rating: 1/5

Viva El Nomicon: Okay episode. Bash’s lines kill meeeee. Good to know Howard is near-fluent in Spanish now.

Lesson Rating: “The only knowledge the ninja can possess is the knowledge that he possesses no knowledge; when he realizes he knows nothing, the ninja is ready to learn everything”. SOLID plot-twist. 5/5 Episode Rating: 2/5

30 Seconds to Math: The implied ADHD strikes again. Shoutout to Julian and his theremin. Fun episode!

Lesson Rating: “Friendship is a weight the ninja cannot carry” Heartbreaking implications! 4/5 Episode Rating: 4/5

Monster Drill: Makes a lot of sense the school would have monster drills. Also realistic how the teens would diss their hero. Wickwhacker is growing on me, is she single?

Lesson Rating: “Respect is a key that opens all doors”. Adore this lesson so much; respect your history, take it seriously. 5/5 Episode Rating: 3/5

Silent Punch, Deadly Punch: Winter Holiday episode. Bucky, my love. Neat blackmail conversation between ninja and McFist this episode. The Ninja Rage/tengu power appears out of chronological release order but I’ll let it slide.

Lesson Rating: “Smoke Bomb is a tool of strategy not a toy for a show” / “Only from the sap of the Skunk Pine can a ninja craft a bomb of smoke”. Hooray ninja lore!! Another good lesson for Randy not to abuse his power and tools. 5/5 Episode Rating: 4/5

Stank’d to the Future: Shows how responsible freshman Randy is when it comes to ninja duties compared to upperclassman-at-the-time Mac Antfee (ninja of 85). Poor Dickie got stanked TWICE. That’s the thing about stuff! Solid episode, very cute ending.

Lesson Rating: “The knot not tied unravels” aka FINISH THE JOB. 5/5 Episode Rating: 4/5

Wave Slayers: Okay episode. Randy’s behavior was a bit frustrating.

Lesson Rating: “When a ninja does wrong, he must own up to his mistakes” Crucial lesson, Randy was just willfully ignorant for a minute. 5/5 Episode Rating: 2/5

Sword Quest: Very neat episode, S Ward Smith is probably my favorite ally.

Lesson Rating: “In the realm of the Ninja, a swordsmith crafts blades in a cauldron of fire” / “Ninja weapons are for ninja business”. The former adds nothing but facts, while the latter is much more valuable. 5/5 Episode Rating: 4/5

Nukid on the Block: Meh. Another okay episode.

Lesson Rating: “The most dangerous enemy often wears the mask of an ally”. Very strong advice for the ninja overall. 5/5 Episode Rating: 2/5

Weinerman Up: Fun, creative episode. Lots of insights on the city map.

Lesson Rating: “A Ninja must know when winning is losing and losing is winning” Another crucial lesson for Randy and those like him. 4/5 Episode Rating: 3/5

Evil Spirit Week: One of my top 3 episodes of season 1. The bird gags kill me; Howard hallucinating in detention made me scream-laugh out loud. Love Randy’s outlaw costume.

Lesson Rating: “The ninja and the tengu are forever linked; their strengths are shared”. The Tengu is my all-time favorite spirit/power. 5/5 Episode Rating: 5/5

Der Monster Klub: Average high school antics. Really cute friend-group episode! Julian was ruthless lol. Personally, it was really interesting how Theresa could also be considered an outcast and was proud to join the Klub!

Lesson Rating: N/A Episode Rating: 3/5

Grave Puncher: The Movie: Shoutout to Heidi still quizzing herself on driving etiquette while walking to the theater. I would kill to see a movie in 6D. Does this count as a McFist episode even if the monster was unintentional? Return of the Tengu suit! Very fun episode, I enjoyed it a lot!!

Lesson Rating: “Deceit often comes at a price”. I mean, yes, if it’s malicious deceit as opposed to keeping one’s non-ninja identity hidden. 4/5 Episode Rating: 5/5

Escape from Detention Island: Isn’t this the plot of a Danganronpa game? Anyways, I love Morgan, she’s so cool. “Everyone, quick! Squeeze through my crack!” I SWEAR TO GOD THIS SHOW.. Neat lighting during Bash’s trials!

Lesson Rating: “Let the warrior who holds the weapon fight the battle”. Ohhh Randy, my friend; let people fight their own battles. 4/5 Episode Rating: 2/5

Bash Johnson: 11th Grade Ninja: So McFist was straight up about to kill his stepson, huh? and Randy almost died too?? Marci mama bear moment, even if it was off-screen <3

Lesson Rating: “Once the ninja is known, he can never be unknown”. Exercise in being SO careful with your secret identity. 3/5 Episode Rating: 2/5

Shoob Tube: Absolute 14-year-old dumbassery from Randy and Howard. Jacques, I love you. Really neat 3D animation with the parking lot performance.

Lesson Rating: N/A Episode Rating: 2/5

[explosionanon]

oh? and whys that?

…too much death? and drama? yeah, i get it.

one of the many reasons i like your blog is because its just silly and loght-hearted…not deep lime somw others…honestly,,, i sometimes try to stay away from drama and blogs like those. key word sometimes

I don't really have any enemies, so.. I mean, you'd think I would given my history and all, but i stopped that stuff. Don't really believe in violence unless it's necessary.

Killing people isn't my thing anyway. It was, but not anymore. Trying to keep that stuff far back, havin' a family and all. Gotta be a good wife and mom, ya know?

I don't want him to be surrounded with stuff like that. I wasn't the best person around him, I'll be honest — missing that little booger every day. Makes me want to go back sometimes.

But he can't come here. It's not safe for him.

[neontokyoo]

Quotes from my D&D campaign: pt 1 (so I can collect them for writing purposes to add some extra chaos to my stories)

“HA! WE RAN AWAY FROM THERAPY— Oh. That’s very symbolic….”

“Well… if I die, I expect to see you all crying at my funeral. But if I don’t die, then when this is all over, I would love it if you guys could help me kill my ex husband… Until we meet again. 🫡” “You have an ex husband?” “Well, duh! Where do you think my child came from? It was a team effort. And right now that abusive bitch deserves to die.”

“Daddy is a state of mind.”

“Who’s your daddy now, bitch?”

“Please don’t kill Aurie, she’s just a silly mother trying to provide for a child who doesn’t even know her by scamming people and sleeping around. 🤷🏻‍♀️” - dm “See?! Even the gods can agree with me!” “You can hear the gods?” “Wait! What are they saying right now???” “well… I uh… hey! The weather is looking very lovely today!”

“Guys help! My sister has cancer!” “……” “How is your deception so good???” “See!? I told you she had cancer!” “Girl…. If I had cancer I would be bald.” “YOU WERE HERE THE WHOLE TIME???” “Well, duh. I’m part of the group.”“Shit!” “Well, she’s good at deceiving people, but not when all the evidence we need is right here.” “I was kidding. This is a wig. I really do have cancer.” “THEY’RE BOTH GOOD LIARS?!!”

“Guys, I finally found a good book for our wizard friend!” “*sigh* What is it now?” ”It is called: The Art of Seduction.” “Seriously, Aurelia??? Why do you keep buying me these things? First it was ‘A Guide to Pegging’ and now THIS???” “Hey! Coming from ✨the queen✨ of manipulation, you gotta know what the people want in order to strike a deal and make them give you the information you need! I’m just teaching you how to do that the right way without cursing and slaughtering people. You should thank me. 💅🏻” “You sick fuck.”

“If you call me ‘booger’ one more time, I will smite you.”

“Aurie, you are seriously not trying to flirt with the Vampires right now 🤦🏻‍♂️” “In my defense, he was flirting with me first.” “Aurelia—” “Hey! It’s a win-win for everyone. We fuck, and then he’ll give me all the information we need and we can keep going and forget all about it.” “If you end up getting pregnant again with blood-sucking monsters, we’re leaving you here to figure it out yourself.”“How stupid do you think I am? We have protection. 🙄”

“Sorry to interrupt your tickle party, but where did you put my books?” “Ooh! Did someone say party!?” “WHY IS EVERYONE IN MY ROOM???” “Why didn’t you wait and make sure we were all asleep first? Gods, you’re so fucking loud, I hope you die of STD’s!”

“Okay. What the FUCK is that thing!?” “Oh. This is just a cum jar I found.” “And you all say that I have problems…. Come here, let me see it. *sniff* Honey, that’s just curdled milk.” “WELL GET RID OF IT!!”

“Aurelia, I swear to the gods, if you don’t take that vampire back where he came from, I am going to chop his dick off, and kill him in the most gruesome way possible.” “That’s unnecessary. His name is Lucien, he saved me so I saved him and now he’s joining us. He’s my new boyfriend.” “HE’S WHAT?!”

More coming soon.

our poor wizard 😭

[lizardlicks]

Shipping Ask Meme: Zukka! Tell me all. :D

Oh my yes do I ever ship that

What made you ship it? I have been here since the beginning. Original series run. The PARALLELS started in the second episode with a shot for shot juxtaposition of them preparing for battle (with each other!!). Then it kept happening right up until the boiling rock and we see it all come together so immediately and seamless-- like they were always meant to be fighting side by side, back to back. I saw it. I saw the TRUTH

What are your favorite things about the ship? They're both silly boogers. They're both too damn serious. They can be so smart and so dumb at the same time. Depending on the setting you can go enemies to lovers, or forged comrades discover their bond goes deeper. They just work!

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Man idk what all that divorced zukka nonsense is about, if you want starcrossed lovers or bitter exes with a tragic love that couldn't be worked out, jetko is right there.

[29pageshomestuckeveryday]

Homestuck, page 830

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz!

You open the FRESHJAMZ MEDIA PLAYER and add Dave's remix to the playlist.

Songs used in this page: Showtime Remix by Gabe Nezovic, Aggrieve Remix by Gabe Nezovic, Verdancy (Bassline) by Kalibration, Potential Verdancy by Robert J! Lake, Ohgodwhat by Nick Smalley, Ohgodwhat Remix by Michael Guy bowman, Rediscover Fusion by BurnedKirby, Crystalanthemums by Alexander Rosetti, and Explore Remix by Gabe Nezovic

Song commentary for Ohgodwhat:

Nick Smalley:

WELL

It was 2008 and I was a silly little boy and thought ORGMaker was good-ass music program, so I decided to make a song in it. Half an hour later forged this booger of a song. Seriously. It took half an hour to make this. Then I saw that THE HUSS posted something about a Problem Sleuth opening? So I was like damn that’s bananas I’ll show him up! (wow look at this nerd thinking he can actually make music)

I sent it to his email and like a day later he sent one back asking about the music team. FLATTERING, IT WAS. So I was like sure sign me up g homey dog slice foo

And that’s the story of how I got on the music team.

Oh wait. You just wanted Ohgodwhat.

(ps that’s what it was called when i made it too)

Song commentary for Crystalanthemums:

Alexander Rosetti:

I composed this one intending it to be the theme of Jade's land. This is the reason Jit has gone on the record as saying Crystamenthequins was intended to accompany Jade's island being destroyed/her entering her land (I'm pretty sure that's how he described it) was because of this song. It's actually a really simple tune, and I've wanted to expand on it for ages but never got around to it. The entire piece consists of the same simple chord progression, but it's a good, if played out, progression. That and the beautiful harmonies one is guaranteed to find with it is why I think this is one of my more popular songs. It's not as well-composed as I'd like it to be, but it is definitely catchy. And Radiation was responsible for the name, jokingly calling it "crystalanthemums" after I described it sound like a crystalline flower. I decided that was as good a name as any, and I've had the pleasure of infecting its two remixes with such silly-sounding titles.

Link to storyboards for this page: http://readmspa.org/storyboards/00830.swf.html

Author commentary: With the (playable!) FRESHJAMZ playlist, we are provided with the implication that these are all songs produced by the kids collaboratively. Their icons indicate who was involved with the songs. Just another sign earlier in the story that these kids have some musical talent and this is the sort of thing they do with their spare time. This is one of those things that starts getting buried as we move along. For instance, we never quite get to see God Tier Jade picking up the old bass and rocking out. Which is a shame.