#oh that presser is gonna be GREAT

[ratatatastic]

favourite bit this season is in fact pomo saying every UFA and/or RFA has a bad attitude welcome to the club lundy 🤝

and also the end of that quote is a riot that unfortunately FHN cut off before pomo could say it, at least hes self aware ☝️

florida panthers @ new york rangers game 2

post practise interview | 5.24.24 (x)(x)

[stepintothelimelight]

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ I FEEL ALRIGHT, I’M GONNA TAKE ON THE WORLD!

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　° Light up the stars

got some pages to turn ✧ ⁺ ┊

PART 3 of the Spitfire Saga

TRAILER: In honor of Spitfire’s graduation…

(2018!f1grid x genz!fem!driver!reader)(SMAU and written)

For more Spitfire content go to my account and it’s my pinned post since tumblr hates me and won’t let me link anything :)

WARNINGS: Seb being an embarrassing grid mom, maybe one rude comment? VERY american reader in this one, but please feel free to imagine whatever, lolita (book) probably inaccurately mentioned, slightly blurry pictures, reader-centric

fc: Pinterest girls + topanga

Aaaaannnnd ACTION!

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graduation-gate ~ Monaco 2018

You’re content. 

For the first time since you joined F4, you’re content. You have rebuilt your relationship with you family (to an extent), you’re having a stellar Rookie season (best since Hamilton, who just so happens to be your teammate), your team is great, you’re racing next to your idols and your best friends (Charles is only a little jealous you’re on a top team), and you’re about to graduate high school, valedictorian and with about a million honors. 

However, right now, you’re halfway across the world from your school, in a presser that’s going at a ghastly slow pace, a day out from racing in the Monaco GP. You sit sandwiched between Seb and Kimi, on your left, and Nando and Lewis, on your right. All of them your idols. 

A few months ago, you would be totally freaking out and fidgeting because this is like, the big four. 

Well, the big three. Seb doesn’t really count.

Now, you lean your head back against the couch and sigh, just wanting the conversation to lull enough for the officers to call it good. When Lewis is asked an in-depth question about Qualifying, though, you know you’re in for a spiel.

You nudge Seb with your knee. He leans over to you, eyes still fixed on Lewis, but lending you an ear. 

“I’m graduating next Friday,” You whisper in his ear. “Can you make it?”

He turns to look at you, eyebrows furrowing. 

“I’ll see my schedule. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

You shrug. 

“Forgot.”

“And you decided to ask me in the middle of a -“

“Anything you two would like to share?” The moderator asks good-naturedly. You and Seb throw out identical annoyed glares, then put on poker faces. 

“Yes,” Seb says. Oh boy. “Y/n just invited me to her graduation.” He sounds very proud. You flash a gratuitous smile at the team of reporters covering this particular star-studded presser. 

Lewis leans over.

“Am I not invited?”

“¿Y yo?” Nando asks softly. “¿Porque no lo mencionaste?”

Kimi makes a soft noise. 

“You are graduating.. university?”

“No,” You roll your eyes. “high school.”

He raises his eyebrows, surprised, once again, at how young you actually are.

“And you guys,” you cast a look at Lewis and Fernando, before narrowing your eyes at a smug Seb. “can come if you’d like. I wouldn’t want to make Seb think he’s special or something.”

They all ooohh at that. Seb clutches his chest. 

“Right to the heart, Spitfire!”

The presser comes to a close quickly after that, but it’s imprint echoes in every single corner of social media for the rest of raceweek.

People trying to poke their noses into your business ask you where you go to school, when you’re graduating, if Seb, Nando, Lewis and Kimi are actually going. You just shrug and try to keep a straight face. 

After all, the Iceman has been giving you lessons. 

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

twitter

Y/n, Seb and Kimi are in a presser together post-quali. She’s seated between them, as she qualified in pole, despite slightly slippery conditions.

“Y/n, this question’s for you,” Says a reporter. She leans forward, acknowledging the question. “We saw Lewis sitting with the team during the red flag, but we didn’t see you. Where were you spending the break?”

She smiles sheepishly and rubs the back of her neck, glancing over at Seb.

“I have an essay due tomorrow, so i was doing a final review on it.”

“What class?” That’s Seb. 

“it’s like a writing class? the whole point of the class is to write this specific research paper, which I have to write for my diploma.”

“How many words?” The interviewer asks. “And what’s your topic?”

Her face lights up. You can tell she absolutely loves to talk about this type of thing. 

“Mines about five thousand,” She says. “But it just has to be upwards of four. You can write about literally anything, so it’s pretty easy.”

“What’s your topic?” Kimi asks, not unkindly. 

She pulls a face. 

“Not a happy one. Fetishization of female innocence in literature and popular culture.” She seems to see the surprised faces the reporters are making and lets out a nervous laugh. “It’s not a fun topic, but I find it extremely interesting, and it somewhat applies to my life, too, so…”

She trails off. Seb picks up his mic.

“What do you mean by that?”

It’s genuine, curious. Not patronizing in the way that all the reporters ask her questions.

“I mean, there’s an expectation placed on women in the spotlight that we be.. innocent and good and pure, you know? And like, if you’re not, you’re a slut or a witch or something. And then we see this fetishization and fixation on innocence in things like movies and books. One of the books I’ve read for this essay is called Lolita?” She pauses. “It’s a very drastic depiction of hebephilia, and to me, it’s a bit satirical. While it’s about Freud and his theories, it also criticized ..”

And she talks and talks and talks. You can tell through the screen, her hand gestures, how she can’t seem to slow down, that she’s very invested. Seb has this look on his face, like he couldn’t be prouder, while Kimi listens, enraptured. Eventually, she rolls to a stop and puts both of her hands on her cheeks.

“Sorry,” she says into the mic. “I didn’t mean to talk that much.”

The interviewer assures her it’s fine, and they move on, and that’s when the video fades to black.

caption (1): [When asked how she’s going to spend time on the plane home] Y/n: I actually have a speech to write! (….) It’s the valedictorian speech. I honestly hate public speaking, my voice always shakes!

caption (1):

Reporter: congratulations on your National Merit scholarship!

Y/n: My what?

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

yourusername

yourusername: i feel alright, i’m gonna take in the world 🎓

ps. Seb, Nando, Lewis and Kimi thanks for the support 🫶 i caught u guys creeping 🧌

tagged: yourbestfriend1, yourbestfriend2, yourbestfriend3, fernandoaloofficial, lewishamilton, kimimatiasraikkonen, yourmominsta, yourschoolinsta

liked by yourbestfriend1, charles_leclerc and 378292 others 

view 6383 comments 

user1: academic queen!

yourbestfriend1: grad u ate

⮑ yourusername: our mantra

yourbestfriend2: gonna miss seeing u every 2 weeks 😞

⮑yourusername: i’m acc kinda sad ngl

user2: Honestly such a power move having 4 of the most famous F1 drivers show up at your graduation 

user3: She’s too young. Crazy to have racing at that age

⮑user4: ik

user5: all her friends headed off to college and she’s going to race in Canada next week 

lewishamilton: Beautiful speech, beautiful ceremony. Congratulations, Spitfire.

⮑ yourusername: awwww 🥰 thanks my fav teammate

⮑ charles_leclerc: wow. 

⮑ yourusername: fav f1 teammate @/charles_leclerc 🙄

landonorris: Congrats, mate! 

⮑yourusername: imagine not even getting a diploma 🤓

⮑ landonorris: I left to focus on racing!! 

⮑yourusername: 🤔this is awkward 

user6: beautiful, talented, educated. Name a better trio 🩵 congrats Spitfire! 

max33verstappen: You do look a bit like Dobby…

⮑ yourusername: Wrong ‘99. That’s @/landonorris

⮑user10: @/yourusername tagging him is actually brutal

⮑landonorris: @/yourusername: HEYYY!!!!

user7: did anyone see how many honors she graduated with? insane 😂 (but super impressive, y/n!)

⮑user8: yeah, and she got about five different diplomas 

user9: The fact that Seb, Lewis, Kimi and Fernando showed up after Graduation-gate

yourbestfriend3: I expect visitation in NYC

⮑ yourusername: don’t have to ask me twice 🌆

user11: Y/n slamming Lando in the comments 😭 girl lay off him you’re already living his dream you don’t need to crush his ego too😭

⮑user12: She’s acc seriously so mean to a lot of drivers

⮑user13: @/user12 it’s just her love language 🙄

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

✧ ⁺ ⁺ I’ve got a ticket

to the top of the sky ┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

Aaannnnddd scene!

DIRECTOR’S CUT: I’ve had the idea of ‘Graduation-gate’ in my head for a long time and kind of modeled this whole fic around it. Sorry if it seems rushed! School restarting is kicking my ass 🙁

A little background info

Charles and Spitfire were F3 teammates

Want to join the taglist? drop a comment below or message my inbox

🏷️ : @octavikravecell218 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @sugarrush-blush @scarletwidow3000 @umm-i-love-u

[pboogerswbb]

Azzi, from the presser, just seemed so light and she finally had a weight taken off her shoulders. I know she just needed to get that confidence back in her ability to be more aggressive and I'm glad she finally did.

And then once you add Paige back to the mix. Oh boy. Watch out y'all.

Side note: I'm so excited for Azzi to finally being able to play Georgetown, and hopefully she can ball out again in front of all her family and friends 🙏

YESS it was such a joy to watch!! she was playing with SUCH lightness, must have been a great feeling having that kinda game and getting some of her sureness and confidence back i'm so happy for azzi

if everyone keeps playing like that when paige comes back (and aubrey) uconn is gonna be on such a rise (not to jinx but please god it's all i ask)!! very exciting to see if the team can keep this momentum up for the next game without paige but i really hope so because this could be a natty winning team, truly i do believe so

AND YES i'm so excited for my girl!!

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie idea: How would these two go about saying "I love you" to each other for the first time? Would Roy just blurt it out without thinking while he and Jamie are lounging on the couch. Would Jamie and Roy be out at one of their 4AM sessions and when he sees Roy against he beautiful sun rise would Jamie just breath it out as he stared in awe? What if one of them declared their love during a presser? So many possibilities!

Okay I’m gonna switch it up and throw short ideas + stories out because it definitely could go so many ways.

Roy just saying it on the couch- It’s been a long week they hadn’t seen each other much. Roy at this point knows he loves Jamie. He’s so grateful to just be curled up on the couch with Jamie that he just says it. Doesn’t think just says. Jamie goes surprise Pikachu face and says it back obviously.

4am- Roy told him to stop running and they were sitting on a bench near a pond. He’s never seen Roy look so at peace. The sun is coming up through the trees and the way it’s bouncing off Roy’s hair it it just makes him burst with the confession. Roy kisses him and says it back with a smile that only Jamie sees.

Presser- Roy was over it. They keep interrogating them, he hates the press for this very reason. Jamie has been slowly sinking into himself in the past 15 minutes. “Christ it doesn’t matter what any of you chuckle heads think of our relationship. I love him. End of the fucking conversation.” Jamie blinks out of the headspace he went into, “oh. Roy I love you too.” Not quite what either of them imagine but still good.

Jamie’s just finished reading to Phoebe when he rejoins Roy. “I love you, thanks for being so great with her.” Jamie smiles, he kisses Roy’s shoulder, “I love you, she’s a great kid it’s easy.” When Phoebe crawls into their bed with a nightmare they both say they love her that night.

Jamie doesn’t remember the fall, he’s not remembering much at the moment. He’s on strong pain meds. He sees Roy and knows he has to tell him before he forgets “I love you. So much. Like air.” Roy goes a bit red. Jamie forgets that he said it but it’s okay he says it two days later in the kitchen

It’s their first week on vacation, Jamie refused to get up before 8am. Roy decided fuck it and joined him. They’re curled up, who knows where one begins and the other ends. Roy kisses Jamie’s neck, “I love you.” Jamie sighs, “you beat me to it. But I love you too.”

Jamie can’t believe they’re married, Roy can’t stop smiling. Ted nods. “You may now kiss the groom.” Roy pulls him closer, hand on his back and Jamie’s hand on his face. “I love you so much.” Jamie beams, “I love you, can’t believe you’re real.” They kiss. It’s the best kiss they’ve maybe ever had besides the first one.

[hamptercatapult]

fuck it im gonna elaborate on the coffee thing in its own post instead of being a nerd on someone else's post 👍

cold brew coffee is, by definition, the product of steeping coarsely ground coffee beans in cold water for 12-24 hours. you can boil some water to add to the bucket/jar with the beans to begin with, then leave it in the fridge. shake or stir it every once in a while. strain through a cheesecloth. this results in a highly caffeinated drink (toddy) that must be diluted ~50/50 with water before consumption. it tends to have a clearer taste, in my opinion. tastes really great with brown sugar mixed in with the coffee as it brews.

by contrast, french press coffee is coarsely-ground [not as coarse as cold brew] and brewed by pouring hot water over the beans. fill it up with hot water then place the lid on the pitcher. the lid of the french press also contains the strainer and the presser for the coffee [or tea lol] and you let it sit undepressed for like 4 minutes, after which you depress the plunger and serve a hot cup of coffee

and so

with those two methods explained as such

.

...

.

i just realized you could absolutely just fucking brew cold brew using the fucking french press. oh my god i see the fucking light. innovative

[cementcornfield]

3 and 8 for the sports ask!

3. what sport moment had you jumping up and down?

okay well disclaimer, i tend to jump up and down every week lol i watch with PASSION. especially this season each time ja'marr breaks off for a huge run after what should be just a check down. but! one that comes to mind in particular is that contested catch ja'marr made during the '23 afc championship. it felt like such a turning point in the game, and i believe happened on a drive that ended with us scoring to tie the chiefs in the second half. and it's such a great display of how good ja'marr is, how he can just JUMP up past two very good chiefs defenders and come down with it (and kick said defenders in the face on the way down). and how joe just TRUSTED him so much to be able to go get that on a 4th down conversion when it mattered most!! god i was freaking the fuck out when that happened. (and then. you know. we lost but! that wasn't on joe or ja'marr!)

8. who's your favourite player not on your favourite team + never been?

okay this one might be a bit controversial but i am gonna have to say 3rd place is sauce gardner. yes his tweets are ummm. something. at times. but i simply have stopped looking at his twitter and i recommend everyone else do the same :)

but like the thing is, he's a ridiculous dude. he's funny, he's talented, he's far far too Online. and he's got that devastating combination of traits of big heart and insecurity. (note that all of the following is, of course, projection, like for all of these guys that none of us actually know but hey) i think sauce's thing is he wants so so desperately to be liked. so he will sometimes get into the wrong crowds, absorb some unfortunate opinions and kind of regurgitate those without thinking. BUT one thing that i do admire about him is that when he's (often rightly) called out, he wants to discuss it. he wants to hear why others are upset and learn from it. and he does!

beyond all that nonsense though, some of my favorite sauce moments include:

a. when he was streaming on twitch and found out that girls liked watching his stuff. he was SHOCKED and DELIGHTED that he had female fans lmao. it was very sweet and is one of the things that leads me to believe he just maybe has kind of a smaller world view, that he is only too happy to have expanded for him as he learns and grows.

b. that 9 hour tattoo stream. oh my god. it was both extremely hot and endearing to watch him lay there for his tattoo artist, just moaning at the pain and getting that tattoo high 👀

c. the little goofy slap fight he got into with ja'marr when we played the jets two years ago lmao. he REALLY got under ja'marr's skin (rare that a CB can shut him down. but sauce IS that talented) and ja'marr trying to start some shit and sauce more than ready to reciprocate until a teammate stopped them. then in the locker room pressers bragging about it while ja'marr pretended he didn't even know his name <3

d. perhaps my MOST favorite are the interactions sauce has had with justin lmao. playing madden live with each other during the pro bowl AND playing it online a few months later. the way that he both cracked justin up and pissed him off sooooo much. the way he so clearly wants justin to like him, but then can't help himself and just annoys him until justin is ready to snap (but STILL smiling at him. still laughing at him! that has to count for something, right sauce?? keep going! see what his limits are!!)

wow god i could go on and on about sauce but honestly my friend ted is way more qualified. he's the one who taught me about this weird fantastic dude in the first place and i'm so thankful!

[likeafantasy]

hello! enjoying your posts as always (: I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing why you think aaron will be a packer and not on a different team next year? I agree I don’t think he’s retiring but I keep flip flopping between the other two options. so I was curious about your perspective. thanks!

thank you so much! i have a few reasons why actually 😅

i think jordan love is great! but there is a reason they chose a broken thumb, broken rib rodgers over him and i think that has nothing to do with rodgers' alleged "ego". especially during the losing stretch when they really could have "seen what they have" in love, and still chose an injured rodgers. rodgers is always going to be their best bet until he's retired and i think they all know it.

watching him on the mcafee show, pressers, his interviews, it's very very clear he LOVES to troll the media! even last week when he said that comment about how the packers were talking about the situation and it was "interesting" everyone took that as "oh aaron's mad they're shopping him around without his input!!!!" but i took it as "oh the media is making up shit for clicks once again, interesting that so many keep falling for it!"

i think this past weekend at the golf thing— it was a masterclass of davante and aaron trolling everyone! i do, however, think that if the packers do want to move on from him, he'll wanna go be with davante. i just don't think the packers are gonna want to move on yet!

[himbeaux-on-ice]

It’s Time To Talk About The Other April 12th Presser — 6167

on or just after April 12th of 2021, I posted about Stoney's extremely memorable post-game presser from that night in which he speaks about Patch that included such quotes as "I've said this numerous times, he's the best shot I've ever played with... probably the best goal scorer I'm *ever* gonna play with." and "He tells me 'park it in front and I won't hit you'... it's scary sometimes, but uh, he doesn't hit me!" y’know, just some instant Thanks I Will Be Insane About It classics. what I somewhat missed at the time, while getting distracted by that, is actually paying attention to and discussing Patch's presser from the same game, which is just as good, in which he takes his turn to heap praise upon his rival-turned-liney-turned-friend, including offering his (maddening) thoughts on the thing that has always been considered Mark's biggest weakness as a player:

there's like. a LOT of layers to unpack here. i'll use a cut bc i'm nice. let's get some brainworms!!

first, we'll break down a few of the most relevant quotes from this clip:

Q: "Hey Max, you got your 300th goal tonight, is that one a little bit more meaningful to you, does that one feel a little more special?" Patch: "Yeah absolutely. I thought after hitting three posts in the last game that maybe it would uh, would take a while to get it... luckily had a great screen from Stoney so that made it a lot easier. I told him I was looking for a tap-in tonight and that was uh, [chuckles] pretty much as good as it gets when it comes to that, was a great screen, something we've been working a lot and harping a lot on the powerplay, and uh hopefully we can get rolling now."

so when asked if the milestone goal feels special, he is full of praise for Stoney’s ability to execute the “park it in front” half of the maneuver (with Max fulfilling his side of the bargain and not hitting him) as well as the fact that he wanted to get the monkey of 300 off his back and Mark could be counted upon to do “as good as it gets” in helping him with that when asked. also, he hints that they’ve been practicing and perfecting this move a lot, which is it’s own bag of things to think about, boy.

next, the big whammy:

Q: "Hey Max, milestone goal for you. For Alex Tuch and Mark Stone it had been a hot minute for them, I think it had been a couple games for each of them, just- how big is it for each of them, to get back on the board too, and all three of you guys to get on the board tonight?" Patch: “Yeah, absolutely, we know goals haven't come as easy as of late, for a lot of guys. And just, Tuchy y'know is just a vintage, blow by everyone, power through and roof it. Uh, Stoney just a huge goal in an important time of the game where, uh, it didn't seem like we had much going, and take a penalty, and, y'know... for that late in a shift, to turn on the jets- I mean people talk about 'he's not a good skater', y'know I've never thought that was the case and I think he proved me right there." [glances at somebody standing offscreen, smiles in a surprised manner] "Oh, there you-" [cuts himself off, chuckling]

oh my god ohhhhh my god this quote. this. like. okay I need you to understand, because I didn’t know this in April 2021 and thus didn’t understand the significance of this comment: Mark Stone’s career as a hockey player has been deeply shaped and impacted by his skating and the perceptions that people have had of it. dear god I will try to be brief, bear with me as we delve into my Mark Stone career biography research for The Context. you already opened the Read More so you're just gonna have to deal with the rambles.

so Mark has never been an especially graceful skater. his dad Rob blames part of this on well-meaning parents starting him on skates without proper training “too young” at the age of 3 (because Mark was rabidly obsessed with hockey even before that, before he could even walk); whatever the cause, a combination of a slightly awkward stride and a lightweight physique as a child metastasized into a total mess when he shot up in a massive growth spurt in his mid-teens. he ended up a lanky, gangly beanpole teen with an inefficient stride and new long legs he wasn’t at all adept at using on the ice — despite a wicked hockey IQ and talented hands, his skating was slow and ungainly and sometimes struggled to get through a shift without ending up out of breath (“my legs would be shaking”).

these deficiencies in skating strength and speed have *defined* his career and his style of play. it’s why he plays forward and not defence (started as a d-man like his brother, but struggled with skating backwards). it’s why his dad was hesitant to let him sign a WHL contract out of worry he wouldn’t be able to keep up with other kids at that level, despite being the leading scorer of his AAA team. it was a major factor (along with injuries) in him not being drafted until the 6th round in 2010 (178th overall), and worrying at the time that he might go undrafted altogether. it’s the reason many people doubted he would ever become an NHLer, despite the fact that he never in his life really considered another career.

that said, Mark's skating problem is also the reason why he is so good at takeaways, puck protection, passing, and net-front play, to name a few specialties — because as an extremely hockey-smart teenager working with this physical disadvantage, he knew he couldn’t out-skate the other kids (like a Connor McDavid or a Jack Eichel style player), but he hated losing so much that he dedicated his considerable strategic smarts, his overwhelming love of the game, and his intensely, hilariously competitive stubbornness towards building up other hockey skillsets that worked around his skating handicap in order to play on their level. and it has paid off massively.

the skating problem itself is also something Mark worked *incredibly* hard to fix upon being drafted by the Sens — working every summer with Ottawa’s development staff even while still in juniors to reconfigure his stride and build up muscle mass and gradually eliminate the disadvantage. these days, he might not be the prettiest skater with the most graceful stride, but his skating and foot speed is no longer a competitive detriment to him at the NHL level. as was the case in the goal Patch described, he can actually really book it down the ice a lot faster than the opponent often expects, even excelling at doing so at the end of a long shift because he’s no stranger to playing out of breath (can think of another memorable occasion where he did that, too).

but despite all the work Mark has put in and how much he’s grown in this area, despite coming into his own over the years as a Calder finalist, Selke finalist, possibly being better at takeaways than anybody ever, and becoming a star player in his own right, the reputation of “Mark Stone’s iffy skating” still follows him, literally to this day. it got mentioned as his one weakness as a player in coverage when he was traded to Vegas in 2019 (“he’s not gonna win any foot races”). when he was named captain in 2021, it was brought up (presumably with his OK) by team PR in his first interview as captain how he used to be "the kid who can't skate". when he was selected for his first career All Star Game this past season in 2022, a journalist made a joke directly to him in a zoom presser (which Mark clearly felt was in poor taste based on his reaction) about how he "definitely wasn’t going to be in the Fastest Skater contest" at the All-Star skills competition. it’s as if no matter what he does, no matter how much he has worked his ass off to grow beyond it, it seems like the “but that skating” asterisk is something he can never fully shake — regardless of whether it is even relevant anymore, regardless of how much time has passed.

and then... here is Max Pacioretty. the six-year rival turned three-year best friend + liney. the man who once said following their first game as teammates "I mean I played against him so much I know exactly what kind of player he is" and "I was very impressed tonight, but I’ve been impressed in the past because I know how good he is.” here is Max, on the night of his own career milestone goal, sitting here and declaring, unprompted, that “I’ve never thought that [Mark wasn’t a good skater]” (note: that's not “since we’ve been teammates”, no, the man says “never”, as in even when they were opponents, even early on), and then smugly adding that Mark has just vindicated that belief and proved him right for thinking this all along, despite what everybody always says. he's proud and he's smug and he insists that he never doubted him. he has always thought Mark was good and that's why he considered him a rival, that's why he's proud of him as a teammate now. he is audibly fond when he speaks.

maddening!! that’s just absolutely maddening, if I think about it for more than two seconds I just might explode!!! aaaaa! AAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

okay, now one more answer from April 12th:

Q: "Hey Max, speaking of Mark Stone's goal, I was wondering if you thought that was kinda the pivot point for the game, turning things around? Seems like the Kings always give you guys a tough game." Patch: "Absolutely. I thought that they were- I mean I dunno what the shots and chances and whatnot, but it just felt like we didn't have that much energy, and Roysie goes in and makes a great play. And still obviously we were in the box there for Stoney's goal, but late in a period, on ice like that, it was really impressive to see him be able to not only get a breakaway, but make a really good move under pressure- and I think that goal not only sparked us, I think his celebration sparked us even more." [turns to grin at the person standing offscreen]

this feels like a letdown note after the long ramble about the skating comment but god, it's even more praise, extolling again how physically and mentally impressive Mark’s shorthanded goal was and how it was a turning point for the game — and then playfully yet sincerely declaring that Stoney’s (typically fired-up and hilariously excited) celly following the goal was a real spark for the team to catalyze them towards the win. which, when you’ve seen the way Mark reacts when asked about his own cellies and the impact of them, his ridiculous modesty and humility about it, just really makes this gushing praise of that same facet of himself so much more... Much. it’s just so Much. so much!!!!!

~~~~~~~~

alright.

now, for the second half of this post, I’m going to go completely off the rails into Deductions And Implications. into the realm of things we don't know for sure, but we can reasonably deduce from context and evidence, in order to gain apparent information that just multiplies all of the above points to a whole other level of screaming.

at the start of Mark’s presser that day, the journalist mentions “Max was kinda hyping you up a bit there, so I’ll let you hype him up a bit.”, prompting his own praise-filled answer. this is because Max’s presser took place immediately before it was Mark’s turn to speak (I think Tuchy went third). there’s a lot to unpack honestly just in and of itself in Mark being prompted to “hype him up a bit” and deciding to be like 'right, well, I’ll just say he’s the best shot I’ve ever played with and declaring my deep abiding trust in him it is then, that should do it', though we won't go down that hole today.

but also, like,

I’m pretty sure Mark heard what Max had to say about him, directly, firsthand. because there is a decent amount of evidence to suggest that Mark was standing just off screen, waiting for his turn, while Max spoke. watch the clip again.

the first clue comes at the end of Max’s answer about Mark’s skating. he finishes speaking, turns to look off-screen, and then makes a surprised face and says "Oh, there you-” before turning away and doing what I can really only describe as giggling sheepishly:

during these pressers at the arena in LA, when we saw players entering and exiting table it was always from that side, and as was mentioned earlier, Mark did his presser immediately after Max; this combined with how Max reacts to Whoever is standing just off-camera leaves few options that make sense other than to conclude that it is Mark, waiting for his presser and thus hearing every bit of praise for him firsthand (I can only imagine the face he was making when Max looked over and saw him there).

second: at the very end of the presser (after visibly glancing at whoever is off-screen several times over the subsequent minutes), Max does it again, punctuating his final praise of Mark’s goal and his celly by turning to again look directly at Whoever is off-screen (ie probably Mark) and flashing them this massive cheerful grin:

so, if that really is Mark standing off-screen, that means his own crazymaking "best goal scorer I’m ever gonna play with" presser has the added layer of being essentially a direct response to standing there moments earlier and hearing Max say - while either not knowing or pretending not to know that Mark is there - that he thinks more highly of Mark’s skating (the one thing everyone has held against him his entire career) than basically anyone, and that he believes Mark’s play and his excitable, exuberant celly energy was the turning point of the whole game.

excuse me while I simply AAAAAAAAA- [turns into a singularity and implodes]

(also, worth mentioning April 12th 2021 is also the game/evening of this photo and this "heart eyes" clip, fwiw. what a goddamn day.)

this concludes this round of insanity. thank you for flying with us today. :)

[mojave-pete]

RUSH: We’ll start in Newport Beach, California. This is Craig. It’s great to have you, sir. Hello.

CALLER: Rush Limbaugh, thank you for the Rush wave. There was no red wave or blue wave. There was a Rush wave. It was your advice of showing up to vote and to break the algorithms. Thank you, sir.

RUSH: Well, you’re more than welcome, sir. I’m happy to have this acknowledged as a Rush wave. I know exactly what you mean.

CALLER: You know, I always wondered how much it cost to rig an election, but I think we’re closing in on it. When Hillary Clinton ran for president, she paid $9 million to Perkins Coie for a dossier that probably cost 12 bucks. Where’d the other money go? Now I think we might know where it went, is to pay for Dominion. Something to think about.

RUSH: Yeah. I know. We can sit here — and a lot of people are gonna make jokes about it, and that’s one of the ways that people choose to deal with it. But look. I want to add something that I started this program out with. Remember who’s behind this, folks. Who is behind all of this for the past four years to undermine Donald Trump? It’s Barack Obama. Barack Obama and his regime, I mean the people that work for him, the Susan Rices and the Bidens, the David Axelrods, Clapper, Brennan, Comey, Hillary, you name it, that is the cabal that is behind all of this.

Now, stop and think again. The voting machines used to count the vote in American states were made in Venezuela. The software was written in Venezuela by a dictator who asked that the software be created so that he could cheat and never lose. That’s what the Democrats bought. The funniest thing I heard all day today, though, the number of legitimate votes for Donald Trump were so many that they overwhelmed the software’s ability to keep up with it and cheat. Trump had so many votes — that’s why they keep saying that he won in a landslide, 700,000, in some cases 800,000-vote lead in Pennsylvania, and they had to stop counting.

Who does that? Who stops the count? They had to stop the counting so that their machines could catch up and keep up. And they couldn’t. So what they ended up doing, they’ve got an affidavit from a witness who said that a couple of trucks — this is in Michigan — showed up at a counting center with a bunch of ballots, tens of thousands of ballots with only one name on them: Joe Biden. No other candidates down the ballot were even on the ballot. Just the name “Joe Biden” for president. They were flooded into the system and they were counted.

Here is Steve in Beaverton, Oregon. Welcome, sir. Great to have you with us. Hi.

CALLER: Hi, Rush. How you doing?

RUSH: Good, sir. Thank you.

CALLER: Just to let you know you’re in my prayers. But not just you, but Kathryn also. I took care of my dad when he had Alzheimer’s, and I know how hard it is for the caretaker. There’s a phrase used in health care, you gotta care for the caretaker because they need to be lifted up, too, in prayer. So prayers to both of you.

RUSH: You don’t know how right you are. Well, you probably do. I appreciate it very much.

CALLER: Thank you. So my point is, everybody — and rightly so — is focusing on Trump. But what about all the other down-ballot races? If Trump really did win in this great of a landslide and got — and you mentioned this yesterday — possibly 410 electoral votes, how many of the down-ballot candidates did he take with him? You mentioned yesterday that, you know, there were 27 competitive races for Congress. But what about all the other races —

RUSH: Well, no. Let’s finish that. There were 27 toss-ups. The political experts like Charlie Cook told us before the election, 27 races in the House that he said these are toss-ups. The Republicans won every one of them.

CALLER: Right. But what about all the other ones? If you’re voting for Trump — I’m sick of these Democrats, and you vote for the congressional candidate and you vote for the senatorial candidate, I mean, how many — did we — we got, like, what, 10 or 12 or maybe 15 congressional — did we get 25? It we get 50? Did we get 75 seats flipped?

RUSH: It’s a great question. It’s a great question because we already know that down ballot the Republicans kicked ass. They flipped a bunch of seats in the House that nobody was expecting. It was expected they were gonna lose the Senate. They’re not gonna lose the Senate unless there’s a similar kind of cheating in Georgia that’s gone on elsewhere. And the Republicans flipped seats in the House and could have flipped even more, is your point. I get your point exactly.

How many people voted Republican way down the ballot, way beyond just voting for Trump? It’s a great question. It’s probably a lot. I think this was probably a landslide election. And there are people, by the way, in the media and on the Democrat side who know this. They know that Trump won this in a landslide, and they are stunned. They’re not admitting it, they never will admit it. But they have to know it. And it was probably huge. When your cheating software can’t keep up with the legitimate votes coming in and you have to stop the count, whoa, folks, that is big.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Just got a note. Somebody who watched the entire presser on the One America News Network. “I feel like I just got handful of uppers or something. My heart is pounding from this. These guys are the StrikeForce, Mr. Limbaugh. These guys are the StrikeForce against the Drive-Bys. They’re hammering them out there.” Rudy has some female reporter harassing him, he’s just swatting back. He said, “Ma’am, ma’am, you’re lying. I’m not gonna answer your question.”

One thing. Their witnesses, Sidney Powell’s witnesses, Rudy’s witnesses, at this point they don’t want to be victims of the media; so the team is not telling anybody who the witnesses are. But the Drive-Bys — oh, yeah, the Drive-Bys want to know. The Drive-Bys, “Who are they? Who are you witnesses? We want to know the names. What are their names?” And Rudy is saying, “No way. We’re gonna prove it in court.” He said, “We haven’t released anywhere near all the evidence that we’ve got yet.”

Rudy said to the news media, “We’re gonna prove in court. They don’t like you” — the witnesses — “they don’t like you, and they don’t trust you.” Sidney Powell again reiterated the turnout for Donald Trump was so overwhelming, it broke the algorithm that had been plugged into the system to cheat. It’s stunning. It all make sense when you look at the physical evidence that was abounding out there prior to the election, the numbers of people at the rallies. It was all there to be seen and believed.

We have the Drive-By Media every day, “No, no, Trump’s gonna lose in a landslide, the American people are fed up with his tweeting, they’re fed up. American don’t like Trump. Trump, he’s rude, he’s crude, he’s a boor, people don’t like Trump, people hate Trump, Trump is gonna be voted out.” Everybody hears that four times a day, five times a day for four years, are affected by it. The fact of the matter is, she said again, the turnout for Trump, the number of votes, the number of votes that Trump got was so overwhelming it broke the algorithm that that had been plugged into the cheating electoral system.

Related Links

RushLimbaugh.com: The Trump Legal Team Makes the Case, Joined in Progress - 11.19.20

PJ Media: Gimme a Break: 80 Million Biden Voters Can't Be...Real

Breitbart: 9 Key Points from Trump Campaign Press Conference on Challenges to Election Results

Dallas Morning News: 77% of Trump Voters blame Fraud for Loss to Biden, Despite Lack of Evidence

NewsMax: Giuliani: 'Massive Fraud' Used to Steal Election From Trump

ZeroHedge: Georgia Recount Monitor Catches 9,626-Vote Error During Hand Recount

Federalist: Democrats And Media Are Reaping Fruit Of 4 Years Of Anti-Trump Conspiracy Theories

[starlight-drive-in]

A Little Convincing

Saeran low-key wants to go trick-or-treating, but he has a reputation to uphold, damnit! MC decides he might just need a little bit of convincing. 

Written for @connorshero​‘s It’s Spoopy Time Challenge for the prompt ““I’m too old to go trick-or-treating.” Hope you enjoy! 

--

You sit in the middle of Saeyoung's living room floor surrounded by bolts of fabric, scissors, pins, pattern pieces, buttons, zippers, and other sewing notions. 

The steady hum and drumming of the sewing machine fills the room as Saeyoung sews the next seam in his giant pumpkin costume. 

"Do you think you'll be able to convince Saeran to go with us?" Saeyoung asks doubtfully. 

You giggle, "It's literally free candy, that's like his favorite thing." 

He chuckles, "True, It's just hard for me to picture my brother agreeing to wear a costume and walk around with a bunch of little kids." 

"I have my ways." You say slyly, cutting into a section of black felt for Saeyoung's pumpkin's eyes. 

---

A couple seams in Saeyoung's costume and a fully formed pumpkin grin later and your boyfriend returns home from his therapy session. 

"In here babe!" You call out to him, knowing that he'll come looking for you immediately. 

When he walks into the living room he finds it in a completely different state then he left it, not to mention the fact he has just finished cleaning it yesterday. 

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" Saeran asks as he takes in the scene currently plaguing their living room.

"Making Halloween costumes!" You and Saeyoung manage to say in unison. 

"Don't do that, it's creepy." He responds, taking a seat on the couch next to you where you are currently flipping through a book of costume ideas.

“Tis the season!” Exclaims Saeyoung, unlocking the presser foot on the sewing machine and pulling out the next section of his masterpiece, sniping the threads. 

“What do you need a costume for anyway? Halloween’s a kid’s holiday.” Saeran asks, looking a little appalled at his brother’s monstrosity, at least its not another fairy costume he thinks.

“Trick-or-treating!” You say excitedly, bouncing in your seat a bit. Your boyfriend eyes you skeptically. ”Will you come with us?” 

His eyes go wide for a second, before he looks to the side, a telltale sign of shyness from him. “I’m too old to go trick-or-treating.” he says slowly. 

“Says who?” you retort, already prepared for this argument from him. “You’ve never been trick or treating right?”

He shakes his head in confirmation of your suspicion. 

“Then let’s go!” You beg, ruffling his curls playfully. “If anyone tells you you’re too old, I’ll fight them.” 

He and Saeyoung both laugh at that one. 

You stick your tongue out at the brothers “You laugh now but when I lay some punk out on the street, you’ll be impressed.” 

“I’d pay to see you fight someone,” Saeyoung says through another spout of laughter. 

“You don't have to worry about fighting anyone, cuz I’m not going,” Saeran says firmly, but you can still hear the hesitation in his tone.

You pout for a second, before turning your attention back to the catalog of costumes on your lap, a bit dejected. Well,  you think  I’m still going, even if he doesn't want too. 

Saeran tries to act like he doesn't notice how upset you are and scroll through his phone but it’s so hard to ignore you. He didn't mean to disappoint you. He’s just not sure how he feels about doing something so embarrassing. 

“I-I can help pick a costume for you if you want?” He tries, directing his attention to the book. 

And that's when an idea hits you. “Okay” you simply say. 

You know you are quickly approaching the section of vampire costumes. You’re willing to bet, your boyfriend - being the former edgelord that he is - may appreciate something in that section, particularly, the ones you might wear. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see his own eyes settle on a section featuring “The Modern Vampire”. The costumes are a cross between your classic vampire, and what one might wear to a gothic rave. Oh, yea this will work just fine. You sit back and wait. 

“What about this?” He taps the page. The outfit he points to is sexy but tasteful, and it has a lot of belts. Definitely his style. 

“Hmm maybe…” you say acting less interested than you are. “These are all matching outfits though see?” You say pointing out its counterpart on the other page. “It would be a shame not to have the pair.”

“I guess.” is all he says as he looks longingly at the costume he knows you’d look gorgeous in, you’re always gorgeous of course but that costume, he can almost see it on you and it would look so perfect. 

“You’d look great in that too…” You say, sadly. “Oh well, maybe I’ll just be a pumpkin with Saeyoung.”

His eyes widen at that. “No! Don’t do that.” Shit, what am I saying, he thinks. 

“Mmm?” you prompt

“I’ll do it,” He starts, fists gripped at his sides - bolstering his resolve, “I’ll go trick or treating with you.” 

“Really?!” You ask excitedly and then let out a high pitch squee when he nods yes. “This is gonna be so much fun, we’re gonna get so much candy!”

Candy? He thinks. Of course, how could he have forgotten? He was so focused on the embarrassing costumes he forgot the best part! Well, that may not be the best part in this case... but a huge plus! A smile spreads across his face - He gets to see you all dolled up, and he gets free candy too? Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

[kanerboo]

okay so... i’m just kind of needing to work out my thoughts about the blackhawks in writing for a bit, so everyone can ignore this or choose to disagree or whatever, I just need to kinda get things out of my head and get my thoughts down in some order.

1) our recent performances: the thing about this, which is something i’ve kept reiterating, is that apart from that horrid game against the flyers, we have actually NOT BEEN PLAYING AS BADLY AS OUR SCORESHEETS SUGGEST. this is the main thing that’s so baffling to me. on paper, this team is not a bad team. on ice, this team is not playing like a bad team either. and YET!!

an example below, from the carolina game yesterday, after 2 periods of play. all of our possession metrics were positive (from this tweet). and yes I know corsi is not a great stat, but it also kinda lined up with my eye test where we actually weren’t playing badly, at least for the last half of the first and throughout the whole of the second.

and yet we couldn’t buy a goal to save our life. we came close a number of times. kirby hit iron. saad came close a few times. we had a flurry of chances from the top line, and during a PP, and from nylander. and through it all mrazek, who is, let’s put it that way, not such a great goalie, was making himself look like fucking brodeur or roy with some crazy saves. when carolina was up just 1-0 through a PP goal, we literally could have pulled even or gone ahead any number of times. and the puck just was NOT GOING IN.

I DO. NOT. UNDERSTAND.

and how many times have I seen this story happen already in fewer than 10 games? it happened against the caps where we played really well and lost because we were up against a goalie standing on his head. it happened against vegas where we played our best game of the season, possibly the best game i’ve seen them play in a whole year, and still lost because of a goalie standing on his head, and to me it’s just like, how long can this go on before the players start getting demoralised that they’re doing everything right and they’re working hard and nothing is going their way? and the worst part is, that point might be happening NOW, especially based on what patrick said in his postgame last night.

2) our special teams: ok it makes absolutely zero sense to me why our special teams are so terrible this year, when we shored up our PK in the offseason and we had the league’s best PP from like what, mid-january? I know we couldn’t continue the way our PP had and eventually it’d regress towards the mean, but this isn’t even their “mean”, it’s back to the putrid days of Q. there are times it shows signs of life, like a couple of sequences against carolina, but again, when that happens, we can’t find a goal. I still don’t understand the rationale between putting nylander up on PP1 and demoting dylan to PP2 - I feel like if we had success with that particular PP1 unit last season with 19-88-17-12 then maybe we should try that? I do get maybe they’re trying to create some balance across both PP units since saad and kubalik are firing now and putting dylan there gives them some additional firepower, plus the PP1 unit had such a huge chunk of TOI during last season’s PPs and it was getting pretty unbalanced there, but come on. at this point something HAS to be done already.

as for our PK - stanbo made some really good moves in the offseason, and acquiring carpenter has been one of them. he has been great on our PK - and we know this PK can be amazing, we’ve seen them kill four minute minors and we’ve seen them score shorties - and then there are times they just completely seem to collapse. I DO NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND.

3) brings me to my third point. the coaches. specifically, marc crawford.

i’ve always liked jeremy colliton. I was a supporter of him when he first came onboard. he proved me right by leading us to the league best PP and league best points total from january onwards? something like that, I don’t remember exactly. anyway it was clear to me that by the end of last season the players had bought in to his system, they were settling into it and learning to play it well, and he’d earned their respect. and the hope was that with a full training camp he’d be able to get the team doing a lot more.

then they brought in crawford and i’m gonna be honest I hated that appointment from the start because he didn’t have a good rep with players and teams. there was an article I read about him, I can’t remember where and I can’t find it to link now, but he apparently used to treat players really badly, had shitty player management. and I didn’t like that.

and ever since he came in our lines have been fucked, our players look demoralised (but in all fairness this could be from that pattern of playing-well-and-not-winning - although if the lines and systems are instituted by crawford then fuck yeah he IS demoralising them anyway), and our special teams have gone down the drain. and from what I’ve learned, crawford is in charge of the PP and PK, so you know. you do the math.

you could argue colliton is still the head coach and therefore he should have the final say over his lines and systems. you wouldn’t be wrong either. but I personally find it hard to believe that a guy who managed to get us those PP and points in the second half of last season, who has shown serious hockey smarts and good leadership while managing the team during that time, someone usually intelligent and thoughtful when it came to his pressers and systems, is behind ALL of this bullshit.

HOWEVER. I will add that I don’t like the way he’s conducting pressers nowadays. it makes me feel like he’s throwing the team under the bus and I don’t like that AT ALL. and like I said it really surprises me because I find it hard to believe there’s such a difference from last season and this year. and I still really don’t think it’s a coincidence this season is fucking up with crawford behind the bench.

4) they need to play 91-19-88, they should have played 1988 together since at least three games ago, stop fucking experimenting with the top lines. we have two perfect, ready-made chemistry pairs that can feed off each other easy and play with almost anyone on the other wing. put them back together especially when this got us so much success last season.

I appreciate that with the emergence of kirby as a center, possibly a second or third line centre, and that solid third line of ours, dylan has been kind of moved down the pecking order. but dylan has something no one else seems to have, and that’s chemistry with alex. I mean if I could I wouldn’t want to touch the third line either, and putting kirby on the fourth line is stupid when he’s so good and he’s not a grinder and he’s actually been holding up well even when centering patrick, but it’s just. i’m never the doom and gloom type when it comes to my team, but this, this I feel is dire. maybe because of the way we play hard and play well and can’t seem to score. but just throw 1988 and 1712 back together for a few games and see what happens. it’s also not a coincidence that once 1988 got put back together they started generating offence and SOGs - which they both weren’t in previous games.

5) just to end my word vomit: I hate all the stupid fucks who are saying to “trade toews” or “fire bowman” lbr here stanbo brought in some really good trades last season and in the offseason, and like I saw one of the beats say, one of the worst parts of this whole situation is that the people he’s brought in have actually been playing well and made a difference, but the team as a whole just can’t pull out a win. and the people saying to trade jonny? lmao yeah of course because the troubles of the whole team lie on ONE MAN’S shoulders, i.e. our captain who has been actually working his ass off? i’m tired of all the shit being thrown at jonny all the time. people expect him to score 100 points when he’s not that kind of player. he’s not patrick, never has been, never should be, they’re two completely different types of players, and people NEVER seem to get that. it’s like they think oh 88 gets 100 points so 19 should too. but 88 also doesn’t play on the PK or have to forecheck and backcheck and play a hard-wearing defensive shutdown game in addition to his offensive responsibilities. the fuck? sometimes I wonder if these people actually WATCH hockey, because they don’t seem to get this and haven’t for years.

ugh, needed to get that off my chest. sorry if you actually bothered reading the whole way through ig! i’m just sad and angry and really really want my blackhawks to do well. i’m still holding out hope - i’m not giving up on this team - but I really need them to show some results. oh, and maybe for marc crawford to get fired. 

[ratatatastic]

welcome to erods adventures with finnish media electric boogaloo because the first one was so great we had to make a second one but this time guest starring lundy!! now lundy has to deal with roddy shenanigans.

this man is getting pingponged between the finns as they decide who has babysitting presser duties for the day and its beautiful you cant escape him he will find a way to get partnered with a finn just to hear them speak in finnish

"no way!" he had so much fun last time with mikksy hes gonna do it again oh arent you blessed lundy you got a presser buddy who staunchly adheres to the buddy system!! he wont leave you alone!!! look at him smiling with the force of a thousand suns!!!

erod turns into an absolute puppy and lundy cant handle it, shying away like if he looks at roddy for longer than a second he might get blinded and when lundy glances over erod looks down to his lap-

why are both of you acting shy WHAT IS THIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHAT ARE YOU- YALL SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G OUT HERE???... playground flirting...

mc adding "evan AND anton will be answering in finnish now" yeahhhhhhh thats the stuff lets be a little goofy with it lets be silly make roddy smile with the funsies of it all

when you have to lock in because lundy actually has a job to do here and you cant just sit there and make him giggle the whole time despite your jester blood screaming to you that its your cosmic duty

first i lol'd then i serious'd

the wall of "dad is in a business meeting but its take your son to workday so i ALSO have to be at the business meeting too" aka roddy has to sit still and find his own fun that is zoning out and looking over at lundy when he says a word you know (which isnt many in the first place)

"kiitos" "kiitos!" lundy slipping it in first before erod can and erod waiting and following his lead. excitedable puppy learns manners and patience for the first time ever and waits until AFTER the interview to say it instead of interrupting the reporters oh we love character growth. both of them smiling as they get up from their seats OH OHHHHHHHHH

"youre working on it!" YES! YES HE IS! maybe one day they'll get him to say something other than kiitos that day is not today but soon

post practise interview | 6.20.24 (x)

[yandereslut000]

Your Laugh

(A/N): I wrote this in one day, please kill me.

Wordd Count: 1495 

________________________________________________________________

Bakugou and you had grown up together, you were the annoying pigtailed girl from across the street who never left him alone in grade school, following him around like a lost puppy dog, much like Izuku. Your mothers always joked about the two of you getting older and falling in love; which always caused him to blow a fuse, making you laugh, He hated your laugh.

By middle school, The two of you were inseparable, glues to the hip, you could never see one of you without the other, you were his best friend (not like he’d say it out loud.) He remembers the time when the school was hosting a dance, you had begged him to go and his answer was always the same “The hell?! No dumbass!” but you were determined to get him to dance with you, God he remembers it like it was yesterday. He was sitting on the couch watching T.V when there was a knock at the front door “Can you get that Katsuki?” “YOU GET IT OLD HAG!” “YOU’RE CLOSER YOU FUCKING BRAT!” swearing under his breath he walked towards the door swinging it open with a growl “Wha-” He felt his breath getting caught in his throat as he caught sight of you in front of him, you were wearing a simple black dress that reached your knees and that your old “Red Riot” backpack from kindergarten, you looked stupid with it hanging off your shoulder like that but you also looked...cute?

“Hey, Katsuki!” you smiled at him, he snapped out of it, shaking his head before sneering at you “The hell do you want (y/n)? And why the hell you dressed like that?” you let out a giggle before pushing past him “Well you said you didn’t want to go to the dance so I brought the dance to you!” You pulled the bag from your shoulder, opening it and pulling out a speaker and your phone, hooking it up. Bakugou started at you for a moment “No.”  

“Come on Kachan!” You tease “What’s wrong? Can’t dance?” he stood there in silence before sighing “What are we dancing to?” You grinned from ear to ear as you pressed the play button on the phone, “Oh my god.” He groaned as “Perfect” began to play “(y/n), What the fuck?” you just laughed as you grabbed his hands and placed one on your hip and the other on your shoulder, you look up at him through your lashes “You know how to dance wannabe?” all he did was smirk before swaying with you in his arms, pulling you closer, Little did they know that his parents where watching from the kitchen doorway, smiling at the pair. Listening to you laugh as their son spun you around. God, he loved your laugh.

The two of you are in high school now and things were different, you were different, he was different, the way he looked at you was different. You weren’t that same pigtailed girl who’d annoy the shit out of him as a kid, and you weren’t the same 13-year-old dancing with him in his living room, you’re...Jesus Christ, you’re fucking you, How else can he describe you?! He watched as you chatted and giggled with the girls in the class.

“Damn Bakugou, if you keep staring at her she’ll think you’re a creep.” Kaminari joked sitting on the explosive boy’s desk “FUCK YOU PIKACHU! WHAT DO YOU KNOW, HU?!” he yelled, prying your attention from the girls to him, you laugh “You Gucci, hon?” The ashy blond tched at you “Of course I am!” you smiled at him and began to say something when Mina grabbed you

“Hey, (l/n)! The school is having a talent show next week! Are you gonna do something?” You smile at the pink girl “I might dance, I danced a lot when I was younger.” “Really? What kind of dancing” you shrugged “Mostly slow dancing but I’ve learned how to swing dance.”

Bakugou watched as the girls shot question after question at you about your dancing ‘career’, he remembers how much fun it was to dance around the house with you, spinning you around, lifting you into the air. He wonders if you’ll ask him to dance with you again.

“Katsuki, You wanna dance with me?” It was later that day when you asked him this, standing at his dorm room door with your gym bag in your hands and smiling like always, he blinked a few times before stepping aside to let you in, you grinned as you strutted into his room. “You remember how to slow dance?” You ask throwing your gym back on his bed. “Of course I do,” He rolled his eyes as he closed the door “You made me dance with you since we were kids.” you laughed as you pressed play on your phone, as it began to play “slow dancing in the dark” You grabbed his hand and placing them were they needed to be and began to sway to the rhythm, just like the two of you did that night back in middle school but this time it was different, he was different, you were different.

You leaned into him, resting your head on his chest, he felt his heart beat quicken, what the hell were you doing? He took in a deep breath before looking down at you, only to lock eyes with you, you were staring up at him with so much emotion, so much care, so much...He quickly shoves you off of him.

“What the hell dude?!” You yell as you were shoved backwards, he just stood there panting “Katsuki, what’s wrong with you?!” he just growled at you, “Get your shit and get the hell out of my fucking face.” You stood up straight, eyebrows raised high in shock “What…” “I SAID GET OUT!”

The two of you stood there staring at each other before you glared at him tears in your eyes, pushing past him you grabbed your phone and gym back and rushed out the door. Bakugou stood there, the event replaying in his head like a record that got stuck, all he could see is the pain and haterade in your eyes as you left “fuck.” He mumbled into his hands sitting on the twin bed, He much rather see you laugh than cry.

He watches as Kirishima swung you between his legs then back up, then swung you for his left side to his right,  you loose dress flying in the air. He listened to “Betty Boop” echoed off the walls of the auditorium, that should have been him but he was too prideful to admit he was wrong to shove you out of his room, wrong for making you cry, And now his watching his two best friends dance and laugh together, eventually the song comes to an end and so does your performance, everyone clapped and or whistled, Bakugou just sat there, staring at you as you tackle Kirishima in a hug, laughing as the redhead picked you up and spun you around. God, he loved your laugh.

The two of you are adults now, pro heroes with their own lives, you hadn’t spoken to him since freshmen year, you always did hold a grudge, he just never thought it could ever be agents him but here he is, 6 years later and he hadn’t heard a word from you, until today. He was going through his mail when he came across a light pink envelope with your handwriting on it, he felt his chest tighten and a broad smile stretched across his face as he ripped open the letter and pulled out a card, quickly he opened it only to have his smile falls, “You are invited to wedding of Eijiro Kirishima and (y/n) (l/n).”

He watched as your husband swayed along to the song playing as he sipped on his wine, “You’re an idiot you know?” Mina says leaning next to him, “What?” His eye twitched “(y/n) was crazy about you, but you knew that didn’t you.” the pink haired girl glared at him out of the corner of her eye “You were just to pussy to admit your feelings for her.” The two stay silent, watching you laugh and kiss Eijiro, “You still love her.” he nods “Yeah...I do.”

Mina pushes herself off the wall “Shame. You two would have made a great couple.” and with that, she walked off to talk to Danki. She’s right. He was too pussy, He was a coward, and he lost you due to his own pride, his own fear. He was drawn out of his thoughts as he felt a presser on his chest, he looks down startled. His red eyes lock with you (e/c), you smile “Hey wannabe.” He smiles at you “Hey dumbass.” you laugh, God, he loved your laugh.

[thesportssoundoff]

Everybody is winning except us

Joey

October 7th

Of all of the ways this could've gone, I'm really surprised I didn't figure this would be the EXACT way it would go.

You can't predict Khabib going feet first into a melee outnumbered like 5 to 1, you can't predict Conor McGregor having a "Greedo shot first" moment by actually throwing the first punch (although in his defense, as he scales the cage, someone else is scaling it and I would've assumed anybody from Khabib's corner is going to be after me or my team at that point), you can't predict riots or a full on culture/nationalistic war.

You can always predict chaos in MMA. You can always predict the WORST CASE SCENARIO in this sport.

If you think of all the positive aspects from just the fight alone, you could be here for a while. Conor McGregor took two years off of MMA, came back to fight the scariest dude and had an actually not half bad performance given the stylistic match up, the rust factor and his natural shortcomings as a fighter (quick twitch high reflex muscle memory guy with poor cardio). If anything he could have/should have been applauded for taking the risk and we'd all be asking how a run back goes with an additional six-ish months of training. For Khabib, he once again answered another litany of questions and for the most part aced the toughest test of his career. For the UFC, they put on a tremendous fight card without a hitch, made massive money and set themselves up for another run of successful fights for both guys including a rematch. Everything could've been positive.

But this is MMA. The Worst Case Scenario more often than not will rear its ugly head at the most inopportune time. There's no point in step by stepping anybody through the brawl. What's done is done, what happened happened and everybody and anybody has their opinions on it. We all gain nothing from replaying it over and over. It's more about how we leave this entire fiasco with perceived egg on the faces of everyone involved.

I feel like we have to begin with Khabib Nurmagomedov because at the end of the day, he's the guy here who took this entire joke to the next level. You can't go and fight dudes at the cageside area. That's basic common sense stuff. The problem is that this isn't the first time Khabib has been involved in utter tripe before and maybe this is just who he is. To me, nobody has had their public perception hurt the way he has over the past few weeks from the homeless guy push ups to the presser comments to the open work out fiasco. If "gotten to" is a deal then Khabib epitomized it this entire weekend. Even his brief press conference was a trainwreck as he went from contrition for his behavior to wondering why it was a big deal and dare I even say, attempting the tried and true Whataboutisms that ultimately lead down a road to nowhere. It takes great skill to talk for a minute and reveal you still don't quite get why you're going to be a in a world of trouble.

Now if you believe in the receipt then Conor McGregor's been way overdue for one. This is an act that's spiraled out of control since his KO of Jose Aldo (and perhaps maybe even a bit before that happened) with an eventual "Oh Shit" coming at some point. You don't continually win in shit situations of your own making before something eventually backfires on you (unless you're Jon Jones) and Conor's last two years have exposed the very worst of the act. The Andre Fili/Artem Lobov situation, the Bellator incident, bar fights, speeding tickets of a dangerous sort, the ENTIRE Mayweather-McGregor fight lead up, the bus incident and the presser that was basically a collection of "Too far!" material in an already "Too far!" situation. Conor's gone for it on 4th down a lot recently and every situation he's either scored or gotten a penalty bail out from the bad decision. Eventually those do catch up with you and here we are now. Again, the erosion of SBG; it's image as a gym full of average dudes accomplishing great MMA shit evolving into the world's biggest collection of fake McGregor's has to be mentioned. What do you do when King Midas' left hand turns everything to gold but his right hand turns everything to shit?

Of course we can also bundle up everybody else into one neat and tidy paragraph here; the UFC for being a business first and not a common sense machine second. The bus attack was part of the story in my opinion and couldn't be neglected BUT somebody with a hint of common sense should've said "tone it down" to Conor and Khabib about religion, this that or the other thing. Instead they played it fast and loose, like they did/do with DC vs Jones, without realizing that Jones vs Cormier was a really personal rivalry about two people who for the most part kept it at two people. Hell taking it one step further, we can say that the UFC should've told Conor to tone it down in 2016 or 2017 or 2018. This is what happens when a fighter gains power and becomes TOO big to say to no to. You get this. Conor should've been told "No!" faaaar sooner than this. How about SBG and Khabib's cohorts who seemed to want to interject their asses into this as much as the two fighters themselves. We can also turn a sarcastic thumbs up to the majority of the MMA media; the ones who bloviated "Conor's back!" as he poured out his presser best but not once stopped to ask if maybe this whole religion/nationalism/family feud was going a bit too far. The same ones who refer to last night as a disgrace (which it was) without stopping once along the way to ask if we were heading into this situation by virtue of nobody wondering if this was spiraling. The ones who are SO reliant on MMA (and ergo the UFC and ergo Conor) to do well that they, like the UFC, allowed anything to go in the pursuit of the traffic. Lastly and perhaps most painfully? Us as fans. When the things that sell are always the worst, the bar is always raised. As consumers we have the ability to dictate what we receive and if what works is the dirt worst? Well that's on us, no? If we ascribe to the "We fight in a cage, nothing is bad for the sport" mantra then we wear this. We may not have asked for THIS specifically but that's neither here nor there because we've asked fore more of the bad shit. We ASKED for this.

And ya know the sick part? Everybody wins here really if you think about it. Assuming Khabib isn't suspended for life and incapable of getting back into the United States? He'll have a Conor McGregor rivalry for years to live off of. The same goes for Conor who has mastered the "losing the fights where you have an out" approach. Vs Nate? Well that was on two weeks notice at 170 lbs! Vs Floyd? First fight in boxing! This one? Two year layoff vs the world's greatest wrestler! Once Dana White gets over his personal shame and disappointment? The business man is going to make him realize that he'll have general wealth for every generation he's ever going to have with a Khabib vs Conor rematch. The folks decrying this as shameful will playfully bite their nails and play the "Who knows what's gonna happen!" gimmick at every presser, every face off and every single day leading up to the rematch. Those who shout about how "passionate" these fanbases are will continue to do so while also saying "they're not ALL like that!" when confronted with every social media clip of fans brawling and fighting outside the venue. Even Dillon Danis, a less self aware Robert Drysdale who fashions himself as a bootleg Conor McGregor, has basically made himself into a household name now. Everybody wins because so long as consumers want it? Business ALWAYS wins. That's the nature of the game. It's MMA at its dirt worst and there's perhaps no other place MMA shines then when it's at their dirt worst. Be it boxing or MMA, business booms at the dirt worst level. This is seemingly where the sport actually wakes up and decides to perform.

There are basically just two losers here really. The first is the lightweight division which sure looks like it's careening towards yet another stripped champion. And potentially yet another interim champion. And potentially  yet another year of question or determining just what the hell is going with the most loaded weight class in sports with fighters stuck on a broken elevator that's going neither up nor down. We have the most blessed division in the history of this weird sport and right now we have a champion who's about to be suspended, a former champ who is probably going to chase "money fights" now and the real champion who seems one poorly timed stunt away from ripping everything on the lower half of his body. The world's most talented division is about to get its dick buried in the dirt again for no reason other than the guys at the top of the helm can't control themselves. The other loser? Those of us who cling to the hope that one day this sport won't be like this. At the end of the day, we need to stop assuming MMA's going to one day grow up and just resign ourselves to the knowledge that it is what it is. For those of us who believe this thing is going to clean itself up? Probably not happening. The idea that one day in the not too distant future fights will be able to sell on the basis of being great fights and we won't need to squeeze every bit of juice out of it by resorting to the dirt worst (be it DC referring to Jon Jones as a junkie, anything Colby Covington does or the latent ethnocentrism used to sell this feud) should be dead now. As much as we all want MMA to treat itself like a sport, what the people want---and seemingly what EVERYONE involved in this sport wants---is this. We built this sport on it and now we gotta own it. All sports have brawls/fracases but they're not the drawing point to drawing people in. We WANT this. We OWN this.

If you don't believe me, wait until Covington vs Woodley to confirm it all over again. Prepare yourself for the worst case scenario.

[darkspellmaster]

E3 2018 Thoughts on Bethesda

Second weakest presentation I thought in regard to how the set up was. Andrew WK did a great job with his song for Rage 2, but man, no one knew what to do and the audio made it hard to hear. Also the presenters jokes were…um…not that great. Plus though was the line about "fuck Nazis on every platform possible." Really liked that one.

Rage 2… I have no idea what is going on in that…because I couldn’t see any of the screens because it stayed on Andrew. While I appreciate that factor for seeing a great singer, I wanted to know what they were putting out for it. Maybe next time intersperse the singing and the on screen video? Again I never played the first Rage, so I have no idea what is going on with this one. I will say that having the very tall developer who was nervous and the average developer on stage was visually amusing in a Loony Toons kind of way, but seemed that something didn’t click right regarding the timing of the trailer and their talking. 

Finally got to see the trailer and I have to laugh about something regarding this trailer. So you got to see game play as the Ranger Character Walker, and I can already see issues coming out with the vehicles in regard to the camera. I’m sure that’s going to be worked on till it has to go gold. The other thing was that it seemed to be a cross between Mass effect and maybe Doom, and possible other games of a similar nature...Reboot’s episode that became the Mad Max Fury Road Movie...that’s it. Also nice movement from cut scene to playable moment, sound track sounds great. 

Funny moment...So I’ve been watching Troy Baker and Nolan North on their Youtube series playing video games. It’s rather funny and enjoyable to watch. Mind you these are old games, so retro. Anyway...Walker seems to be voiced by Nolan, and all I kept thinking was of his struggle to beat the Spiderman Atari game, and began to wonder if somehow parts of Walker’s days, when he’s not out killing things, are spent chilling out trying to beat old Atari Spiderman games. Just something amusing. 

Side note...I do want that talking head for some odd reason. 

Doom Eternal is coming out…yay? Not a Doom player, so I can’t say much on this. It’s nice to see the old suit back on, although my gut is telling me this may be an online thing like Microsoft’s new Halo game will be. 

Prey was an interesting game that actually got into your head and showed a lot about your character and person given it’s story. Prey MoonCrash should be an interesting one dealing with Mimics, and it looks to be a game of Hide and Seek. Not sure what else to say about it other than, find the Mimic. and also a VR game that will be coming out. I kinda felt bad for the presenters when their jokes didn’t land. 

Hey look we get an expansion to Wolfenstein II, Wolfenstein II: Youngblood. We’re going to play the twin daughters of the lead character from the latest game. Awesome. We’re going to be in Paris. Very cool. We’re going to be fighting Nazi’s again. Rockin! We got no game play…crap. While the trailer looked cool, I would like to know more about it before I put down my money on this. Also...co-op...am I going to die a lot...I think I’m gonna die a lot. 

Hey we have more expansions to Elder Scrolls online…Okay, and Scrolls Legends are getting stuff…alright…Oh and now you can play a mobile game of Elder Scrolls called Elder Scrolls Blades that you can play with one hand, and you can do it while you’re in a meeting with a boss. Yeah that really inspires confidence in your co-workers who are not fiddling on the phone. Does Blades look good, yeah, but I’m not downloading. If you like that, go for it.

Oh and if you haven’t gotten enough of Skyrim Very Special Edition, that you can now play on you Alexa….Bethesda, I think you’ve milked this game enough…although it was very funny, and you can actually play this…Yeah I’m Skyrimed out.

So what else do you have…Well we have a new Fallout Game that we debuted just a few Hours ago at Microsoft’s presser.

Fallout 76 had my attention for a bit. I loved the idea of it being an early story, the location using West Virginia was a nice change of pace from random locations, and certainly looked gorgeous in design. And the choice of song brought a tear to my eye due to Whisper of the Heart, but I like the song Country road. And the use of the urban legends and folk lore in that area came to light in the monsters and creatures that you run into. All awesome…until we get to the fact that you can get your hands on Nukes…um….why? How? What for…? Then the big reveal, oh by the way it’s all online with other people playing with you…And there went my enthusiasm for the game. At least the servers can be locked for just friends, but playing Fallout as a GAAS is going to be annoying because you can Nuke each other, which is something I pointed out with Skull and Bones. You have assholes who ruin the fun, and when they’re around you’re screwed. Also not a single player game, though you can play it solo…yeah….pass for me.  Also game play was basically walk out of your room in the vault. Fun?

Lastly we had two very short trailers for a new game coming out called Starfield…which made  me go, “what?” when I saw it. We see space, we see a planet, and we see a station…then a blast of white light and what looks like a hole and warping to some place…but that’s it. So not much on that front…

Oh and we’re finally getting an new Elder Scrolls game, Elder Scrolls VI. When is it coming, we don’t know, what does it look like, not much given it’s a landscape and a castle. Other then that, we got nothing. There are some hints that it might be a bit like Fallout 76, so I’m holding my breath on this. Given the way it was talked about...please don’t make this an online game...please. 

Over all I’d say a C for this presentation. Jokes didn’t always land, the videos, while nice, felt like someone was asleep at the wheel. While it was great to hear Andrew WK playing, the stream I was didn’t let me hear him properly so I couldn’t tell what he was singing. Nice Trailers, but I do think they need to work on the jokes. Glad to see the teams though getting shout outs. 

[stufftippywrote]

this is all I’ve got ... sorry.

Bitty

I know what I'm about to do. I know what I'm asking.

We've talked about it, on and off. What'd happen if we did this someday. Only we always figured that someday would happen after we'd decided it would, and let people know so they'd be prepared, and planned for what would happen later. And that's how we should do it. I know that's how we're supposed to do it.

It's just that this moment - this very moment - will never come again.

Jack might win another Cup, but he'll never win his first Cup again. He'll never feel as on top of the world as he does right now. And maybe it's selfish of me, but I want to be a part of that. I wanna feel it with him.

I'm not stupid. I know there'll be hell to pay. But God, just once, can't I just be me, can't we just be us, and let the rest of the world sort it out?

My heart's thumping and my blood's racing and the world's cheering around us. Soon it'll all be gone.

God, let me have this moment. Let us have this.

Jack

No. We can't.

We can't. We shouldn't.

But we shouldn't have won the Cup, either. And I shouldn't have introduced Bits to my team, told my parents about him, told the Haus. I shouldn't have loved him in the first place.

But I do, and we did, and we can.

We can.

And I want to.

I want to. I want to hold Bits and I want to kiss him and I want to share this feeling with him. He's been everything to me, for so long. He's given me so much. Sometimes I don't know how I can feel everything I feel about him.

I don't know how I can feel all of this and not explode. I have to share it.

It'll all work out.

It shouldn't ... but it will.

Georgia

Oh Jesus, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?

Jack, you dumb kid. Oh my God, I should have seen this coming. I should have anticipated this in February, when he first told me. I should have seen it during family skate, when the two of them couldn't keep their eyes off each other. I'm so blind. I thought Jack was so sensible, but he's not. He never has been.

There's so much I need to do now. So much to plan, so much to arrange. I have to get out of here. I have to get off the ice and have a talk with Tom. Of course Tom's over there gabbing with the coaches and shaking hands. He hasn't noticed a damn thing.

I'm going to have to do this all myself, aren't I?

OK. OK. Plan. We'll move the presser from tonight to tomorrow. I'll get a chance to chat with Tom and maybe we can find an angle. And of course I'll have to talk with Jack...

...Jack...

Where did he go?

Oh, great. Now he and the Bittle kid have skipped out. And I can't even corner him in the locker room. I'll have to chase him down on the phone.

Kiddo, you better be glad you have me here saving your bacon. Because that's what I'm going to be doing until you step up here.

Kinda glad for  you that you had the moment, though. Can't blame you for wanting that.

Still. What a nightmare.

Holster

Holy fucking shit.

Did they just kiss? On the ice? Right in front of every fucking camera on the planet?

Did they plan this? Of course they didn't plan this. What am I thinking? They just hugged and forgot that the rest of us exist. This is gonna be awful. Jack's gonna get stalked within an inch of his life, Bitty’s gonna get stalked, there'll be death threats and all kinds of awful shit. And the Haus! Jesus Christ, the fucking Haus. The team. They're gonna be all over us with "Did you know" and "Did he say" and oh God the tadpoles don't know when to shut up, it's going to be a mess...

Wait a second. Not my problem anymore. Not captain anymore. I'm fucking graduated. This is something for the next captain to deal with.

Oh God, the next captain's Bitty.

Shit.

Kent

I'm not seeing this.

I'm not seeing this. This isn't happening. Zimms isn't ... he wouldn't ...

Fuck.

How could he do this? How could he do this to me?

Who's the guy? Is that the guy from the party? The shrimpy one? Really, Zimms? That's what you're into now?

Oh, shit. Shit. This means they're gonna start asking questions. Which means I'm...

Shit, shit, shit.

Fuck you, Zimms. Fuck you. First you won't fucking talk to me, and now you do this to me?

Fuck you and your skinny boyfriend both. Shit.

How could you?

What's gonna happen to me?

Suzanne

That's Dicky.

Oh, sweet Lord above, that's Dicky.

And he's ... he's kissing ...

Oh, Lord. I feel dizzy.

He can't be. He just can't. That can't happen to our son. Not our boy. Not the boy I raised to ...

Is it my fault? Our fault? Was it the figure skating? The baking? Am I to blame for this? Was I a terrible mother?

Maybe it's a phase. Maybe he'll grow out of ...

Oh, Lord, what if he doesn't? What if this is ... what will I tell the rest of the family? What will I tell the neighbors? They're all going to think it's my fault ...

Why am I worrying about myself? Poor Dicky!

What's he had to go through? That poor boy, feeling this, all alone ... he couldn't even tell me. He couldn't even tell his own mother! Why would you do this, Dicky? Why would you do this instead of just telling me? I thought we were so close. I thought you trusted me.

I can't handle this. I need to lie down ...

oh, Dicky, how could you do this? Why would you do this?

Why wouldn't you let me help you?

I have to talk to him. I have to call ... but it's late, and they're ... right now they're probably ...

What they’re doing doesn't bear thinking about.

We should go to bed. Call him tomorrow.

But how am I going to sleep tonight?

Bitty, again

Well now. That wasn't so bad.

No, it was wonderful!

I'd do it again in a minute. I swear I'd do it again.

So much is gonna happen now. We've talked about it before. Jack'll have to talk to the media, and gosh, I hope nobody wants to talk to me. I'm not the famous hockey player. “No comment, no comment.” That’s what Jack’s told me I should say. I can say that much.

At least I know my friends have got my back. And my ...

... oh God. What if Mama saw?

She and Coach will have been watching. But maybe they turned the game off after we won. Or maybe we didn't even get on camera. We got outta there pretty fast after. Maybe today, I can call and tell her myself.

But what if she saw?

Oh, Mama. I hope you understand. Please understand. Please talk to Coach. Make him understand too.

Well. What's done is done.

And even if I knew beyond a doubt that she was watching, I'd do it again.

Yeah. I'd do it again. Without a doubt.

Because I love Jack.

Love. That's what all of this is about. She's gotta understand that. Who doesn't understand that?

Please understand, Mama. Please understand, world.

It's about love.