#oh that damn one scene He Just Eated An Organs!

[dawnleaf37]

guehehahhaehehehaaaaaaaaaa............. calvin you bitchhhh..................

[chronically-ghosted]

stay gold, baby boy

rating: 18+ (expliiiiicit)

pairing: dieter bravo x f!reader

word count: almost 6K

summary: six months into your friends-with-benefits situation, you institute a new game. A gold star on the board every time Dieter is a good boy. Today, he gets bingo . . . for wearing real pants. 

warnings: friends with benefits (with more feelings), oral (m receiving), dom/sub dynamics (guess who subs today!), talks of edging, hair pulling, creampie, piv sex, praise kink, my mother raised me to have better taste in men but fuck it

a/n: remember when i posted this picture? And then this one? Remember how you could hear me yelling from space? Well, @sp00kymulderr has added fuel to the fire – Dieter and stickers. I can’t explain myself except that I was horny and I wanted to take his pants off with my teeth. So I did. 

✨gif credit goes to the ever incredible, talented, and enabler of my dieter fantasies @perotovar! she saw me floundering with the header and immediately was like 'hold please i can make his baby cow eyes even better'✨

🤍Masterlist

With your foot on the low table, your ass firmly planted on the middle poofy cushion of the dumpster bin couch at the back of the trailer, thumbnail nibbled between your teeth, you have to admit it’s starting to get a little embarrassing. It’s honestly such a bad look.

Not that he would ever shame you for it. In fact, he’d probably like it. 

And it’s not like you waited for him here all day. You had things to do as one of the co-screenwriters on this film. You had things to do and people to see and stuff to organize – all of which had nothing to do with Dieter fucking Bravo.

Okay, so a lot of it actually had to do with him. Lots of scene rewrites, lots of notes from the studio, lots of instances where the two of you had to put your heads together and come up with a solution that made the studio happy and didn’t make you want to claw your eyes out artistically speaking. 

Which had led to this. 

And the past six months of whatever this is. Working together led to seeing each other (outside of work), to eating with each other, to fucking each other – with the line firmly drawn there. 

Whatever you may say about Dieter, the man could compartmentalize in a way that would make Marie Kondo weep with joy. By the way he treated you on set, no one in their right mind would ever have guessed he knew what you looked like naked. Or that he knew your left nostril twitched just before you came.

The same could be said for you too. Out of boredom one morning in the grocery store, you bought a trashy magazine with his face emblazoned across the top – Dieter Bravo and His Lonely Hearts Club. You weren’t one for the gossip rags, but flipping through it, not a single one of his “club members” mentioned his raging praise kink. You bought the damn thing on the spot, giving them all a consolation prize of some sort. Sorry, ladies, guess I win. Ha. Ha.

But, at the edge of the cushion, eyes occasionally flicking between the door and the failing darkness outside, you didn’t feel much like you’d won anything. 

In fact, you’d lost. Big time. When all of this had been your stupid idea in the first place. 

It had been your idea (and your initiative) to buy a packet of gold star stickers. Like the kind teachers use with their first graders. Actually, exactly like the ones teachers use for their first graders. You couldn’t form words when the woman at the education supply store ringing you up asked, “oh, what grade do you teach?”. You just tossed a twenty at her and booked it, your face painfully hot for a fairly innocuous purchase. 

But all of that was his fault for dropping a praise kink and a teacher kink on you all at once the night after you jokingly spanked him with a ruler in front of the director, in-front of his co-star, because he wouldn’t agree to a line change, and he had to excuse himself from the room. 

A month later and he forgoes touching himself for a gold star. He agrees to your line changes without argument for a gold star. He picks you up in the morning and drives you home at night for a gold star (you could drive yourself, but there’s always that last minute thing you need to talk to him about so you do it just because it’s easier, really).

He lets you come, over and over again, and keeps nothing for himself – all for a gold star. 

Someone is bound to figure it out. They have to. Six months in and you’re getting sloppy. Obvious. What the fuck would you be doing in his trailer at seven o’clock at night after a full day of shooting unless you’re fucking him? 

But you, worryingly, can’t find it in you to care. 

You had lost your mind, that’s what you lost. Because tonight is the night Dieter gets his final gold star. It’s his reward but you’re about to vibrate out of your skin with want. 

(It didn’t matter that you hadn’t seen each other in two weeks and by the third day, an ache had settled in behind your breastbone, one that clutched your phone in your hand, and forced your eyes to the screen every minute, checking for a new text message. 

He called on day five, by the way.)

Your neck snaps up when you hear voices outside of the trailer. Laughter, his. 

You suddenly feel the need to flatline against the floor in case anyone might see you.

Fuck, and how are you supposed to explain yourself if the someone he is with follows him into the trailer? Too many frightfully bad scenarios and you’re rooted to the floor, unable to make a single decision. 

The metal latch clinks and his trailer door swings wide open.

“Yeah, man, I’ll catch you tomorrow.” 

You can hear a deep, “see ya” from the other side (maybe Daryl from craft services?) and the scrap-metal trailer squeaks, as the lock clicks shut. 

Dieter scratches his cheek, surveying the trailer as if some part of him knows something is different, but his conscious mind can’t figure it out. 

Until he turns. And nearly leaps out of his skin.

“Fuckin’ – what are you doing in here? Wait – I thought you left town to scope out the new location in San Diego.”

You want to answer him. You know how – open your mouth and tell him the trip’s been delayed for a few days, nothing serious, timeline bullshit – but you can’t. 

It’s officially embarrassing.

It’s embarrassing how turned on by Dieter Bravo you are.  

Hair in all kinds of directions, skinny cloth bracelet loose around his wrist, he had pushed up the sleeves of his henley shirt, exposing the thickly drawn triangle over his forearm and the clear one near his wrist. His hand with the rings hangs by his side and something inside of you silently whines. 

But what really sets you off, what really makes this embarrassing and terrible because there’s no bluffing here, no hiding your cards and folding – nothing you can do to keep spit from flooding your mouth the longer you look –

He’s wearing pants. 

Black with loose belt loops. Zipper and all. A silver button sitting between his hips. Fuck. Just like you told him to. Fuck fuckfuck.

You’re briefly aware when he says your name and you have to make a physical effort to tear your eyes away from that glinting silver eye winking up at you.

Dieter’s frowning, knowing silence isn’t really your thing. 

“Are you okay? Why are you –,”

As though it had called his name, his gaze drifts from your face to the table between you and him. Where his scorecard rests with four stars in the Good column, and shockingly, none in the Bad.   

His mouth parts, eyes going dark, as the realization hits him like a mack truck.

“Delays,” you say suddenly, preemptively, knowing that normal people usually have some sort of preamble before tearing each other’s clothes off. You stand up a bit straighter, tilt your jaw away from him, gaze leveling him from the end of your nose. You have got to get this thing under control. “Frank ran into some scheduling issues with the boat for the lake scene so, until further notice, the trip to San Diego has been delayed.” 

He blinks slowly as if he’d been struck over the back of the heat, mouth parted. He has such fucking gorgeous, fucking perfect lips –

“So you’re here?” he asks, his voice low, disbelieving. 

You scoop up the scorecard and step over the table, your shoes long since gone. It’s like his vision narrows the closer you come; he is transfixed, gaze on you as if molded at the seams, as you step up to him. You tap him on the chest once with the corner of the scorecard, excitement and nerves and that ache making you tremble despite your confident appearance. 

“So I’m here.” 

“On the last day of the week.” Words thick, as if all the moisture had been sucked out of his mouth.

“On the last day of the week.”

“When I,” he swallows thickly, “when I should get my reward.” 

God, this kind of power trip should not be making you this wet. 

You lift your gaze from his chest, taking in his beautifully dumb-struck face. 

“You will.” You nod. “And do you know why?”

His breath quickens, lip between his teeth, when you scratch off the final star from the package and stick it to the Good column. 

“Because I was a good boy?” 

You toss the scorecard behind you, it clatters onto the table, and you cup the back of his hot neck.

“Because you were a very good boy.” 

He stumbles back, knees unsteady, when you kiss him. You see his eyes a split second before you close yours and hot electricity swoops down to the pit of your stomach. It would be mortifying if you just fucked him right here and now – he does deserve something extra special – but fuck – you want his whole hand inside of you.

His warm palm slides across your jaw, pulling you into him, and Dieter breathes, deep and long, inhaling as much as he can. You don’t think he realizes that he’s picked you up off the ground with his arm around your back until he opens his eyes, vision hazy and off-center. 

“Go lock the door, baby.” 

He nods and puts you back down. You slip off your jacket as he bolts the trailer door shut.

Dieter’s mouth drops open when he turns around and sees you on your knees.

Shit, you should have stolen some knee pads from the costume department. 

“Really?” 

You smile at him because he asks like a kid that just got offered a puppy for Christmas. You reach towards him and he takes your hand, unsteady on weak knees

“For as long and as much as you want.”  

You palm him and Dieter groans, mouth-closed at the sensation, the hard ridge of the metal zipper not one he is entirely familiar with. At least, not like this. Beneath the warm press of your palm, you feel him thicken, harden, and you press more, digging your fingers into his thighs. The muscles in his legs tense, his mouth falls open, as his hips cant forward, desperate for the new weight of the zipper. 

“And I won’t make you wait, Dieter,” you say, eyes tripping up from where your hand sits, up to the flash of exposed tummy where his pants have ridden down and his shirt slid up, into his almost surprised gaze. “You’ve been very good, wearing this for me, but I want you to learn why it’s important to wear pants with buttons.” 

“I-I t-t-thought,” he tries, voice abruptly cutting off when you nuzzle the constrained bulge in his pants. He tries again, eyes slamming shut as if to stifle the sensation of your warm breath so near to where he needs you the most. “I thought i-it was so I d-din’t – didn’t look bad.” 

Your face still pressed into his crotch, you briefly massage his calves, then the backs of his thighs. You cup the curve of his ass through the starchy back pockets, which is remarkably prominent now that he’s in something else than baggy sweatpants.

You shake your head, nose dragging along his hot length, against the space between his hip bone and his cock, smiling. 

“Baby, you know I like how you look. I always want you to be comfortable.” You look up and meet his eyes. The remaining brown not yet wholly consumed by a blurry, heated darkness softens. Somewhere beneath the hazy, disarming feelings of lust currently filling his head like a bike tire, he’s still your Dieter. Or – well, wait – at least the Dieter you know. The Dieter you have impossibly fun times with. The Dieter who makes you laugh like no one else. The Dieter that can make you fall apart until you’re a gooey, dripping mess and he still manages to stitch you back together. The Dieter that keeps you up at night thinking he might possibly want something more. “But this is so much more fun.”

Grounding your chest against his thighs, holding yourself against him as leverage, you sink your teeth into the corner of the fabric fastening his pants together. Eyes up at him again, you tug and his cock is pushed up against your tits from the force of the pull. He rocks forward, an airy gasp escaping his mouth, and the button gives, the lip of the fabric sliding back as the silver disk slips through the hole. Now your touch is unimpeded by rough fabric when you lean forward and kiss him just below the waistband of his black boxers. 

It takes you a second to realize that Dieter Bravo is wearing underwear at all and you smirk up at him.

Something about your gaze makes the tips of his ears go red, as if he had been caught being very naughty. His big hand cups from your jaw to your ear, as if trying to placate you, beg you not to be mad this close to his cock. 

“You said I had to dress u-up,” he says, eyes wide and round. God, he’s trying to be so good. One week of the rating system and Dieter Bravo is a trembling mess. Despite your wildly beating heart, you smirk, your thighs shaking briefly at the sudden rush of tenderness you feel for the man in front of you. You hide your own blush by mouthing that open spot just below his tummy and above his cock, wetting the black material with your tongue. Before he can whine about it, you pull back just barely, enough to curl your fingers around both his black underwear and the pants he wore for you. Just as you begin to pull down, you nip the zipper between your teeth and slowly, slowly, rubbing your nose against him, tug the metal teeth apart. His pants open and Dieter groans loudly. He’s already so sensitive. 

For a mouthy, ego-driven bastard, he really did have a magnificent cock. Flushed at the base, thickest you’d ever had inside you, and he’s leaking silvery threads from the head. The vein thickly pulsating on the side makes you wonder how he hasn’t passed out from all the blood rushing to his cock. 

You lick that vein, that beating pulse, and his knees buckle. His massive hand grips your shoulder and Dieter shakes his head, his mouth wrenching open.

“Please, please — mhmm — don’t tease. I-I can’t – you haven’t – please.” 

As if you would be cruel to him. You feel rather dizzy, elated on the idea that you wield this much power over him. That he trusts you with all of him. There it comes again, that arching ache in your chest. 

“I’m just trying to get myself ready for you,” you confess quietly. “I’m not trying to hurt you.” 

Dieter swallows something large in his throat, panic receding from his eyes. His smile is small and his touch on your cheek is light.

“I know.”

And you weren’t lying. You’d never forget the sound of your jaw popping and cracking the morning after you sucked him off three times before you let him come. Dieter is shockingly big, annoyingly only when he uses it against you or makes you tell him over and over just how big he is before giving it to you. For now, you just want to remind him how very appreciative you are that he gives it to you at all. 

Eyes decidedly looking away from the warmth on his face, you squeeze the backs of his thighs as you relax your jaw as much as you can. Above you hear him huff with his mouth shut as you start to take him in, your tongue wetting that soft skin on the underside of his cock. One move forward and you’ve wet him halfway, tongue massaging that vein. Another drop of your head and you’ve taken him completely.

“Fuck,” Dieter murmurs, the hand on your shoulder tightening. Your heart pounds in your chest all the harder when he takes his other hand and knots your hair with his fingers. By the twitching of his thighs beneath your palms, you know it’s taking every ounce of his restraint to not buck his hips forward. “That’s it that’s my girl you take me so fucking good you feel so fucking good.”

The thing about your mouth that is markedly different from your pussy: you can’t release your gag reflex to take more of him. But fuck, you want him to fuck the back of your throat – you just might drown before it happens. 

He smells surprisingly clean as your nose inches closer and closer to his skin. With each pull, you slide your tongue down the other side, until it pokes through and licks where you haven’t reached with your mouth yet, inches from his pelvis. He shudders when you use the tip of your tongue. 

“Oh my god, your mouth, baby, your mouth.” The words dribble out of his slack mouth, fingers flexing in your hair as if he can mimic pushing your head down further. You pull all the way off him, tongue catching the rim of his cock and he drops his head back against his shoulders and moans. The sound of it makes your pussy throb and you breathe out your nose to stifle your own noises. This is about him. He did good. He was a good boy the whole week. 

You replace your mouth with your hand. Sufficiently wet from the way you slobbered all over his cock, you use a fist around his flushed head to smear pre-cum all the way down to the base of him. You brush his balls with your knuckles, just as you fit the tip between your lips, sucking – and Dieter bucks, hard. 

“Ngh – shit! S-sorry!” His nails dig into his thighs, eyes squeezing shut as silvery threads spurt out from his cock. 

Maybe you’d gone too far with the whole sticker thing and he really thought this was another test. His cheeks are burnt pink, his chest heaving and it’s one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. 

“Dieter,” you cry softly, gently, comfortingly. He still doesn’t open his eyes, not even when you resume stroking him. You lick the soft skin of his balls and his gasp punches the air out of his lungs, his eyes splitting open. He looks down at you, thighs trembling and you squeeze him gently. Not to edge him or punish him, but to make this last a bit longer for him. “Dieter, take your shirt off and sit down.” 

He can’t move fast enough. He yanks the henley over his shoulders, the collar scraping his hair up in wild directions. He goes to sit but his thighs are shaking too much and he just sort of tumbles onto his ass. Smiling, you take your own shirt off, hoping to save this particular bra reveal for another time, but fuck, this time is as good as any. Despite his panting and squirming, his gaze rolls from your face to your tits. Emerald green with black lace, this is far too nice for a work bra and it properly communicates to him that you were going to fuck him whether or not he was going to get that final gold star. The realization is visible as it crosses his mind, bleeding hungry black in his eyes. 

You take off his pants all the way, before sliding your own jeans down and to the floor. His roving gaze catches the matching panties and the noise in his throat is deep, like a smothered grunt. 

“Now, I’m going to suck you off no matter what,” you say as you crawl in between his legs, before leaning back and sitting on your heels. You smooth your hands down his thighs, near his red, stark cock, but not touching. Dieter’s breathing hitches in anticipation, not sure where to put his hands or his gaze. “But I want you to answer one question for me first.” 

He nods rapidly, spreading his knees further for you as if to remind you there’s other places he could be fucked. 

“Why did you think I was going to punish you today?”

You’ve asked this question paraphrased a dozen times, usually when you both know the answer: he came without asking, or he came by himself, or any of the dozen reasons Dieter liked to push your buttons, only for you to break him as far as he can go. But today, there’s no sultry edge, no double meaning. Your question is sincere and it takes him a moment to understand. He swallows as his eyebrows tug down on his forehead, something vulnerable flashing in his eyes before a look of uncertainty crosses his face.

“We’ve never had sex just to have sex.” He says it like a question. He settles into the floor one hand going behind his head, the linear tattoo on his forearm dark like a third eye. “Not that I’m complaining but it’s always a competition, or because we’re bored, or you wanna work out some personal shit because of the costume department. I know this is my reward, but I figured there had to be some kinda catch to it.” 

You frown deeper than him. “There’s no way we haven’t had normal sex.”

Something like a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Define normal sex.”

Now it’s your turn to go warm across the cheeks. “I mean, like . . . outside of . . . our roles. Where there aren’t roles at all. It’s just . . .”

You break off for the third time, the look in his eyes forcing you to snap your mouth shut before you say something incriminating like, just us. 

Dieter shakes his head. “No, we haven’t.” 

“You’re telling me in six months, that’s never happened once?” You adjust on your heels and cross your arms. “It’s not like you can remember every time we’ve had sex.”

“I do.” This, coming from him, is not a question. It’s an irrefutable statement that you don’t seem able to refute with a no you don’t. There is no room for arguing. 

Driving right on through the heat of your cheeks, that ache returning, you shake your head. “Then doesn’t that get old? Having to play games every single time?” 

Dieter pouts as he thinks, eyes on the roof of the trailer. “Sometimes, but I don’t mind. Not enough to want to stop fucking you.” 

“So, after a week of nothing, you were totally willing to let me edge you within an inch of your life? Let me treat you badly?”

Dieter smirks and it suddenly feels like you’re the one under him. “Sure, but you like me too much to keep it going for too long. And you like watching me come.” 

Your teeth grind together at this very bold accusation, your entire face blazing. Weren’t you supposed to be domming him today??

His feet slide out beside you and Dieter is the very picture of arrogance, his arm still tucked behind his head. He drums his fingers on his stomach.

“If it makes you feel any better,” he says, the smirk around his mouth soft, “I like you too.” 

It doesn’t. Not really. Not when his words spear through you hot and hard, landing in your chest like a landmine. Fuck. 

Fuck.

“Oh, so this is all for me, then?” You ignore the fact that you’ve slipped back into your role in active defiance of talking about this anymore, and crawl forward until your forearms frame his head. That teasing contentment fades from his face as he watches you, eyes following a line that only he can see from your nose, lips, chin, throat and tits. Your hair slips off your shoulder, darkening the light on his face when you straddle his waist. “But what about you? Don’t you want to come?”

He nods, slower than before, but only to keep from breaking eye contact with you. Light as feathers, Dieter trails his fingers up the backs of your thighs, over the curve of your ass, to settle into your hips. His mouth parts in anticipation, pink tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. 

“I do,” he says, rolling his neck as if he can see more of you this way. “I really fuckin’ do.”

“What a coincidence.” You shift down, dragging the wet patch on the emerald green underwear beneath your drooling cunt, shift until it slides across his half-hard cock and Dieter’s hands dig into your hips, a groan breaking off in the back of his throat. His eyes slip half-closed, a thick, smoky black enveloping that beautiful brown. “So do I.” 

Grinding down over so slightly, you roll your hips once more – Dieter tenses, his hands easing to the tops of your thighs – before sitting back on his knees. 

“Now relax, baby, you’ve earned it.” 

You drop forward over his hips, open your mouth, and slurp him up between your lips. 

The noise that comes out of his chest is broken, knocked loose, split down the middle. You take him all in one, down until your nose is tickled by his coarse hairs, and you swallow. He is immediately, instantly, rock hard and dribbling. You swallow again and his hands dive into your hair, knotting the strands around his fingers, the way a rider draws up the reins of his horse. He goads you down with just gentle pressure, needy and demanding all at once, and you take him, and you take him, and you take him until the blunt head prods the back of your throat and you gag, throat constricting, and Dieter’s eyes roll back in his head. 

“Shit, that’s too fucking good.”

You breathe out your nose, pulling up just enough to keep him off your reflex, but instead you hollow out your cheeks and suck, tongue pressing up against him and around that hammering vein. 

And here, here comes the sound you’ve wanted from him all night –

Dieter whines, high and keening, his neck straining, your skull pinching from where he pulls. Between your thighs, the emerald green is completely ruined, buffed out dark in the wet. 

The vein throbs again and you nearly drop onto your elbows, not caring if you choke or drown or sputter, you want him in your mouth, you want that salty, gooey taste of him that you find you can’t seem to lick up enough. You want him inside you –

With a grunt that morphs into a groan as it rises up his chest, he tugs hard enough on your hair that the pain splits your mouth open, head tugged back enough that he slips out of you, a thread of pre-cum from your puffy lips to the tip of his blunt head. 

You lied. This wasn’t entirely for him. 

You can feel your lips twist into a snarl. “Dieter, what are you –,”

He kisses you with such a force, that noise in his chest is transferred to yours, a collision that sparks a causal nexus and his own desperation bleeds with your own. The kiss is messy, dizzying, spit and pre-cum smearing across swollen lips and wet tongues. He twists his fingers deeper into your hair, as if he can consume you through the bowl of your skull. 

Your name is something that tumbles, falls, drips from him, his mouth tilted a fraction of an inch away from yours. Eyes dark, full, a beast that howls for the moon in your eyes. 

He’s going to fuck your brains out on the floor of this rickety-ass trailer. 

Dieter tugs you forward, drags you onto your knees over him as he settles beneath you. Your fingers knock with his in a fight to reach your panties first, to shove them down your hips and thighs, get them to the floor. 

Dieter’s flushed, pupils dark, big hands grappling against the weight of you as he pulls you onto him. You are so aroused, so sunken into the smoke of lust, you go as you are moved, his cock smearing apart your wet pussy. Dieter sits up, eyes locking onto where you’ve nearly become a single creature, and then he hesitates. 

Sanity seems to ring his bell, for just a moment. Without waiting, he sucks two fingers into his mouth, coating them with his spit, and you can see what he’s about to do just before he moves. You shake your head, knees aching from carrying your weight against the flat trailer floor, and sit up off him, your fingers digging into his shoulders.

“Don’t need it,” you mutter before licking into his mouth. He drops his head back to let you sink your tongue between his lips. Both hands wrapped around his jaw, you thumb his earring and he grunts out the side of his mouth. “I want –,”

His big hands settle and it’s like he dropped a thousand pound weight between your ribs. You drop, right onto him, his cock forcibly shoving you apart in a single thrust. Dieter barks out a moan, his hands clutching your spine, teeth going for your shoulder to muffle anything else that threatens to escape him. 

You swear your nerves are on fire.

He always takes his time with you, for your benefit, and his. He can be maddening and incessant and demanding, right up until this part, the part where he could actually hurt you. Right then, he waits. Lets you come to him. Let you take as much as you want and he holds you tight.

But this, this is you taking all you want and then some. 

In the split second you allow for your bodies to recognize the give and the take, the swell and the invasion, you meet his gaze. 

No roles. No games. No landmines. 

Exposure. 

Blistering and brittle.

Safety. 

You curl your toes underneath you, grip his shoulders, and slide up on an inhale. On an exhale, you thrust down and you don’t know who cries out louder. 

Dieter pulls you to him, arm banded around your back, the other to balance as he leans back to meet your downward strokes with his upward thrusts. His fingers pinch the clasp of your bra and the straps slide off your shoulders, your frantic bouncing knocking those emerald cups loose. 

“Oh, yeah, oh fuck yeah.” He mouths at your collarbone, tonguing the sweat that blooms across your skin. Your short huffs have your chest trembling, a shudder disrupting your breath when he uses the blunt edge of his teeth against the soft curve of your breast. His nose against your skin, he turns his head and licks your nipple into his mouth. He sucks, licks, your rapid rise and fall catching your sensitive peak against the tops and bottoms of his teeth. He uses the barest hint of pressure and your back arches. He sucks your other nipple into his mouth, repeating that same pattern with his tongue, while his fingers flick your hardened bud. 

You think you’re going to melt, fracture and ooze into this hot pool of pleasure that hums between your legs. 

“Fuck, Dieter,” your own voice is unrecognizable, breathy and high, cut short every time his hips meet yours in a harsh slap, “I can’t –,” 

He rubs up against something truly devastating inside of you and immediately your legs give out. You topple into him, arms around his neck, nose pressed up against his jaw. You feel his overheated skin, a balm, a solidifying force, against your cheek. The whirling inferno in your head soothes. A drop of sweat from his hairline trails down by your eye and you lick it. 

“Make me come, Dieter,” you whisper for him, of him, beg in a way that only he can hear. You nuzzle his earring and he keens. “Please – I need it – n-n-need you.”

Open-mouthed, breath hot, flush down to his chest, he slithers the hand against your back between your warm bodies and finds your clit. Drags his thumb across it as his hips pound up into you – you can’t hear what he says in your ear, the edge you’re dangling over loud and pulsing – and then there’s a softness against your throat.

The white spark between your thighs erupts and you come so hard you scream. A release. Controlled and contained brightness now spilling out everywhere, you can feel it as you soak his lap. It drips and winds down, and it drunkenly slides off you. Finally, you curl into him, a muddled tingle radiating out across your nerves. 

You sink into your skin again and hear him, still whispering, still talking.

“You’re so fucking beautiful when you come it’s okay baby I’ve got you I’ve got you I’m here – I’m gonna – g-gonna –  oh, shit,”

His hips thrust up one more time before a full body shudder yanks his words and the air right out of his mouth. You melt as his cum floods your insides, the warm pulses intoxicating in the place he so forcefully claimed for his own. His shoulders curved towards you, his hand pinches the knot of your spine as if to steady himself, palm scalding against your skin. In your exhaustion, your sweaty forehead falls against his. 

He doesn’t seem to mind.

Seconds mold into minutes, minutes into maybe hours then days. 

Dieter’s trembling elbow finally weakens and with his arm around your back, he tips you both backwards. 

His cock rubs up inside of you in a new way and your cunt clenches involuntarily. You both groan when his cum leaks out of you, squeezed out by the contraction. You shift your hips to lay fully on him, and his cock slides out, but his arm around you remains.

It remains long after your breathing settles, long after the sweat dries and your exposed skin grows cold. The longer you lay together, the more you feel he’s going to start stroking you, touching you in a way that a fuck buddy shouldn’t. But he doesn’t. He keeps you close but doesn’t move. 

The feeling, the ache in your chest. It’s soothed and hastened by the beating of his heart beneath yours, your ear lying flat against his chest. It beats so loudly for you.

For some unfathomable reason, you glance up at the window. It’s dark out, the sun set and gone. For all you know, you two might be the only two people on the entire lot.

“Dieter.” His name sticks in your mouth. “Dieter, I –,”

“Five stars?” 

You blink, lifting your head for the first time in ages, sweat on his skin almost suctioning your ear to his chest. He’s grinning, curls matted and damp against his forehead.

He reaches up to the table behind him and snags that stupid bingo card, along with that packet of shiny gold star stickers.

This feeling, you can contain it. 

For now. 

Smirking down at him, you peel off one of the bigger stars and with your thumb, you press it into the center of his forehead. 

“Five stars, Dieter. Five star dick.” 

His smile widens. 

[aureatchi]

.🕷.𖥔 ݁ ˖ WHAT A SCAREDY CAT ! — nakahara chuuya

“aw, poor baby. movie too scary, doll?” “shut up chuuya.”

a/n. it’s spooky szn !! so of course i need to write something fit for the occasion…so,, why not do it w my fav ginger-haired!

info. fem!reader. fluff. lowercase ✎. profanities. horror movies, drinking, small argument. it gets suggestive sjwsj, neck kissing. wc. 1.9k

“oh, this is so cute.” 

you and your lover both shared an eye for aesthetics. that’s why you gazed so proudly at the coffee table in front of you when you stepped back to see the finished product—the rounded table was filled to the curved edges with your favorite takeout meal, bowls of junk sweets to indulge in after, popcorn, two wine glasses, and accompanying of course, a bottle of wine. other than the food, there were two lit candles to set the ambiance of the space, and a jack-o-lantern chuuya had carved himself. 

all were organized beside each other to make it look like it came out of a pinterest post.

“i agree,” chuuya replied with a smug smile, also proud of your combined work. he joined you on the side. 

you grabbed your digital camera resting on your couch and took a picture of the cozy scene. 

“before it all gets ruined,” you chuckled. 

chuuya then took the camera, turning the lens towards the both of you. 

“let’s take a few together,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pose. you and chuuya were also wearing matching pajamas: black tees and halloween themed pants. 

“okay!” 

click! click! click! 

the trio included a picture of you holding up a heart with your hands as chuuya’s arm encased around you, a picture of you turned towards him with your arms around his neck (you realized the flash was very bright), and one more of you kissing his cheek. 

“awh!” you widely grinned as you looked through them, giggling to yourself when you noticed how the camera captured chuuya’s conspicuous blush in the last photo. 

“what’chu laughing at?” he asked, looking over your shoulder. 

“nothing, it’s just cute,” you replied, putting your camera away. “can we eat now?” 

“yeah,” he replied, motioning towards the snug sofa nuzzled with your cushiest of blankets.

you enveloped them around you as chuuya grabbed the remote control to browse movies on the tv. 

RANKED #1 HORROR MOVIE THIS YEAR!

“wanna watch this?” chuuya asked, hovering the selection over the movie. “i just realized we’ve never watched a horror movie together.” 

“yeah, if you want me screaming and retreating on your lap every five minutes.” 

“exactly,” he replied, smirking. “that would be nice⎯”

“too bad. i was joking. i don’t get scared easily.” 

you held an opposing smirk back, but in reality, you did get agitated easily, especially when jumpscares were involved. but you felt stubborn and didn’t want to give what chuuya wanted, so you decided to take it on as a challenge. 

and he seemed to sense your game too. “better not catch ya lying, doll. there’s consequences for everything.” 

“what do you mean by that?” you asked, your face heating up, but he gave no answer to your avail. now you really had a challenge. 

“…whatever. i don’t need to know anyway. i’m not getting scared.” 

“hm,” chuuya said as he clicked on the movie. up popped a screen with the synopsis of the two-hour film, including all of the content warnings. 

…murder, blood, sudden jumpscares…

oh shoot.

chuuya pressed play, and immediately, the movie started.

…

the first twenty minutes were actually okay. there hadn’t been anything too much to frighten you yet⎯eerie music, corporate workers, and dark rooms were the only thing you had seen so far. 

“damn, when does this good?” chuuya mumbled, finishing eating the last of your main course. 

you were glad things hadn’t been intimidating to you so far. but you also knew your lover was awaiting for something to happen, something to cause him to win.

that wasn’t going to happen. 

you were snacking on the bucket of popcorn when suddenly, a creepy humanoid creature engulfed the screen, accompanied by a petrifying sound. there was no way to see that coming⎯there was no warning. you couldn’t help but squeal and jump slightly on the couch, the bucket of popcorn following. luckily, it wasn’t so much that it fell and made a mess. 

“o-oh shoot! chuuya, i thought i saw a spider!” you said right after the moment passed, turning your head and making it look like you were searching the cushions for a spider. you knew he was watching for your reaction the entire time. 

“spider, yeah?” chuuya asked, amused. “nice excuse, sweetheart.” 

you crossed your arms. “okay! that was a mild reaction! i didn’t jump on you so that doesn’t count.” 

“scared yet?” 

“nope!” you popped the p. yet, a shiver went down your spine.

you continued watching the movie. more horror started to seep in, grisly scenes causing unease. you weren’t sure if you preferred those drawn-out sights to the jumpscares, but you could hide your reactions better with the former. you hadn’t seen any more sudden clips yet, thankfully. 

“yikes,” you and chuuya said when a corpse got shot multiple times even after they already died and then mutilated. 

“i’m opening the wine,” chuuya said about an hour and thirty minutes into the movie. 

“alright,” you replied, not opposing. you probably even supported it. maybe if you drank a little, you wouldn’t scare so easy.

especially because you could feel the plot’s climax approaching. you were already suffocating a couple of pillows on your lap in anxiousness. 

chuuya poured the glasses and handed one to you. you quietly finished yours quickly so you could have it refilled. 

“oh shit!” you shouted when the main character suddenly made a super stupid decision⎯as you probably did too by pretending that you didn’t spooked⎯of course resulting in a chase by the disgusting creature that popped out of nowhere earlier. you clutched the pillows even harder, but you couldn’t take your eyes off the screen. you needed to prove to chuuya you weren’t lying to him. 

the wine was not strong enough against the fear-fueled adrenaline that surged through you, paralleling the intensifying background music. 

stupid chuuya. he made sure the volume was cinema-loud. it did not help trying to drown out the creepy atmosphere that engulfed the entire room. 

the figure suddenly appeared in front of the protagonist with a dramatic scream.

“AHH!” you screamed too, but immediately bit down on your hand right after. 

but then it happened again. the main character turned a corner, and it popped up again, even more disturbing than the last time. 

“AHHH!” 

you screamed again, jumping on chuuya to try and bury your face on his neck. your heart was racing from the images you had seen. 

but he had other plans. 

“aw, poor baby. movie too scary, doll?” 

“shut up chuuya!” you replied, yet you still gripped tightly on his shirt. 

but then, chuuya pushed you off of him.  

“chuuya!” you tried to climb back on him, but something was preventing you from making contact with his skin. 

“…are you using gravity manipulation?!”

“i thought you said you wouldn’t get scared,” he taunted with a smirk. “eyes on the screen, brave girl.” 

“you’re so mean!” you shouted, but faced back toward the tv. he had even gone out of his way to use his ability to turn your own words against yourse⎯

“AHHH! WHATTHEFUCK!” 

you were already screaming as the creature finally caught the main character, but you weren’t alone as chuuya cursed and pulled you on top of him, horrified.

“DAMMIT. what the hell was THAT?” 

“put us down, we’re FLOATING!” you cried. it didn’t help at all that you were both scared and floating above all solid surface, even though it was only about three feet.

“s-shit, sorry!” 

he rested the both of you down on the sofa once again. you had missed most of the eerie epilogue, but you didn’t really care when your brain had now conjured a new character for your nightmares. 

chuuya poured the last of the bottle’s contents into your glasses and handed you yours. you finished the cherry-red liquid instantly to try to get some relief. 

you turned towards chuuya right after to see that he had done the same. and then, you broke out laughing. 

the ginger-haired raised an eyebrow and glared back at you as you continued to stare at him and snicker.

“i-i didn’t know YOU were a scaredy cat,” you tried to speak, but it was hard when you were overcome by laughter. your stomach was hurting and your chest was heaving, but you couldn’t stop. 

“shut up!” he shouted. 

“i-i can’t!” you replied, continuing to laugh. “how ironic⎯it’s one thing for me, but the port mafia executive? getting scared?!” 

you were only silenced when chuuya had pulled you on his waist once again. 

“if you didn’t think you were in trouble for lying, you definitely are now.” 

you immediately stopped, staring into his eyes. you had forgotten about his temper.

“wait, i’m sorry!” but your apology was futile because you were immediately lifted once again but this time, higher and alone.

“put me down, chuuya, i’m sorry!” you screamed, about eleven feet off of the floor. you really hated his ability sometimes.

“why should i?!” he observed you from the couch, trying to grab onto something but stuck inside a sphere of air. he would never try to hurt you, even while he was mad, but currently, his ego had been offended by your words.

“i was joking, chuu! i didn’t actually mean it⎯i promise! i’m sorry, i’ll make it up to you.”

you were slowly lowered, relieved once your legs hit the couch.

“i’m sorry,” he said, quietly after you had made sure you could stand on floor again. “i got carried away, plus you weren’t wrong.” he sighed at the confession.

“it’s okay,” you replied, straddling his lap. “that just makes the two of us scaredy cats. i think that’s cute.” you booped him on the nose.

“but you’re the bigger one,” chuuya provoked.

“no! you are!”

“you are!”

“you are!”

“who’s the one on my lap?” he asked, moving a piece of your hair out of your face as he smirked. “just as she foreshadowed earlier too?”

“shut up,” you replied, but he had gotten you where he wanted in the end. “want a trophy or something?”

“no, you’re just gonna make it up to me now.“

he pulled you closer, and kissed you softly, seeing if your reaction would allow him to continue.

you pulled back. “if this is what i have to do, that’s easy.” you leaned back in and resumed the kiss, lifting your hands to play with chuuya’s hair. you could still taste the wine on his lips⎯it made you feel even more high combined with the tension between you two as he kissed you deeper.

he pulled back for the both of you to catch breath and then spoke.

“you’re funny if you think that’s it, doll.”

he moved one of his hands to move your hair away from your neck and the other to cup your cheek on the opposite side.

he started kissing there, and then, sucking.

“…chuuya?”

“this is for lying to me,” he said, focusing on the spot. once he was done, he moved to another.

“and for making fun of me.” he sucked again, until your neck had two new red marks.

“…keep going.”

“yeah? want more?”

“yes. it helps me not think of that scary murderer in the movie.” chuuya laughed.

“alright, i’ll help take the scaredy cat’s mind off of the things that bring her fear.”

“hey! stop calling me th⎯”

you were silenced as he went back to what he was doing, until your entire neck was filled with shades of red.

reblogs are cherished. <3

© AUREATCHI 2023. no reposts or translations. do not steal — including this post’s banners (they’re mine).

[akilikesbread]

quotes from watching trigun stampede with my friends so SPOILERS:

“Bro he even falls zestily” (in reference to wolfwood)

“oh cool flashback” “more like a VASHBACK am i right? ZINGER” “kys.”

“my lawyers have advised me to not discuss what i would do to his stupid fluffy blonde hair”

WW: “the big man upstairs made me strong” “The big man upstairs made me like people with wires and mandibles.”

*vashs arm gets sucked into a blackhole* “bro wtf, hollow purple”

“boy why you so 🪴”

“motherfucker so gay the cigarette bends the second it touches his mouth”

“this is just a documentary of california”

*BadLads gang shows up* “BL? Boys love? They kiss men?”

*Livio standing menacingly* “SANS???”

*in reference to eye of Michael* “Why’s their logo literally new mexico”

*Legato appearance* “blue hair AND PRONOUNS??” “whats with daman mills and voicing gay men”

*Woowoo getting tortured* “theyre injecting 🏳️‍🌈 into his bloodstream”

*First wolfwood appearance* “He better hit people with that fucking cross”

“he looks hot when hes troubled”

*In reference to Rosa* “If pregnant lady dies i’m leaving the call

“OH MY GOD HES REDPILLED.” “Vashed and redpilled”

“Tricum stampede”

*we were watching on an illegal site so it kept opening new tabs* “AHHHH PORN”

*wolfwood gets fucking bent in half by legato* “Bro where can i get a massage like that”

“Roberto looks like. hold on.” The image sent:

“if the animation was a person i’d make out with them sloppy style. with tongue.”

*in Rollo’s old town with the biblical radio shit* “Guys this sounds just like something my bus driver would say”

*zazie turns into a swarm* “would you still love me if i was a worm :(“

“vash’s mom is pretty” “i’m gonna stop you right there.”

*vash.* “LOOK AT HIS SLUTTY WAIST”

“yeah nai just really liked taking out arms this episode”

*knives playing the piano in the distance* “IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER😨😨😨”

EG Bomber: “MASTER KNIVES😈” my friend in the zestiest voice ever: “master😳”

Vash: *reloading* “THATS SO FUCKING HOOOOTTT” “i wish i was that gun.”

*wolfwood gets fucking run over* “i think hes my new favorite character”

*vash getting chased by the residents of jenora rock* “california has never looked livelier”

“Call me Millions Knives.” “edgy ass emo name, he sounds like hes a 13 year old emo who listens to panic at the disco and cries himself to sleep at night.”

“is this prophetic stress dream bothering you queen”

“i wish Californian sand looked as good here, dont eat the californian sand, its chunky”

*conrad appears* “LUIGI???”

“so this is julai…” “its still may dude, idk how to tell you this”

*Julai screenpan.* “THIS IS JUST VEGAS.”

*wolfwood and vash running away* “me when i skeddadle”

*vash gets shot and walks away* “bros like ‘damn i just got shot :(‘“

“Nicholas the Punisher.” “he can punish me if he wants I MEAN WHAAAAAT”

*That Roberto Scene™️* “*through tears* SO HOW ARE YOU GUYS ENJOYING THE SHOW?”

*Knives dramatically playing piano* “You and that fuckin church organ.”

“5gum stampede”

“Why is nai so jacked???” “theyre both built like brick shithouses”

*Meryl points a gun at conrad* “KILL YOURSELF OLD MAN.”

“WHYS NAI CLENCHING HIS ASS SO HARD…”

“Vash wake up!!” “THIS ISNT LIKE YOU POOKIE”

*Wolfwood steals one last cigarette from Roberto* “Rare cigarette that wasnt fucked up”

“WHO CUT THEIR HAIR.” “Xinqiu.” “Yelan ass haircuts.”

*talking about vash* “hes such a shonen protag. Food friendship and (avoiding) fighting”

“Knives, ur literally gay. i dont wanna hear it.”

“The entrance to the higher plane!” “it looks like a butthole.”

*Knives fucking just floating into the higher dimension* “*cackling*” “WHY HE SLIDE LIKE THAAAT” “stone scraping sound effect”

“Vash shouldve been called damian”

“Prepare mentally for episode twelve, take a deep breath, take a sip of water-“ “KISS A MAN” “DONT KISS A MAN” “KISS A MAN!!!”

*start of episode twelve.* “surely this wont be horrifying”

“I promise to protect you both.” “well you really sucked at that, huh.” “yeah fuck you rem” “HELP???”

*looks at Nai* “Whys he wearing a speedo…”

*Red geranium sprouts in tint Vash’s hand* “NAI LOOK DO YOU WANNA SEE A MAGIC TWICK”

*Running through field of red geraniums* “this reminds me of the angry birds logo”

“metal wing?” “its made of knives, yk, like his name :D” “shut up.” “alright then.”

*chanting* “CUBE!!!!”

“HES GONNA STAMPEDE!!!”

“kiss my vash!!”

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

The Tragedy of Love, Death and Maggots

I wanted to wait until it had a name before posting this, and I finally came up with something sort of worthy. So here it is: Part 1 of TTLDM!

********

The corpse dangled limply, swinging in the wind. Chains attached to its wrists jangled like chimes, creating a melody more off-tune than haunting.

The corpse was beautiful, once, with long eyelashes and a gleaming smile, gorgeous enough to charm sirens. But no amount of smiling could hide the stick-thin limbs, encrusted with bodily fluids, or the gaping sockets where a pair of eyeballs once rested.

The corpse died of starvation, that much was obvious. It had struggled long and hard to be free, judging from the livid marks along its wrists. Every bone was prominent under its bruised and raw skin. Dried blood stained the rags it wore, barely enough to cover what little dignity it had.

Its ribs were opened up like a butterfly, baring shrivelled organs and guts. I could only hope that it had been post-mortem. Maggots haf infested themselves in its cavities, worming and squirming with glee, a veritable mass of white amidst the red. The sight was enough to make any man heave.

“What's the verdict, doc?” Athena was cheerful as ever, either not caring or pretending not to care about the gore before us. “Who dunnit to this poor fella?”

I shook my head. My guts curdled at the way she prodded a chunk of squirming flesh fearlessly. “Someone starved him to death, then chopped him up like that. He must have been left in a cell until he died, or else he wouldn't be stained all over. This entire scene's at least a day old, too, or else maggots wouldn't have shown up like that,” I explained. “Damn, but I just can't think of a monster that would've done this.”

“It wasn't a monster,” Mrin replied, her voice harsh. “No monster would be that wasteful. A human had to have locked him up, guarded the cell so no monster would eat him, then maimed him afterwards.” Her one good eye narrowed.

Athena grimaced. “Cultists,” she concluded. 

“Yep.” I folded my arms. “They're back at it. I could have sworn we'd driven them away the first four times.”

She shrugged. “They're worse than maggots. Let one live, and soon you'll have twenty swarming your home and setting you on fire for their rituals.” She broke into a grin. “Guess we've got to break out the weapons and go cultist-hunting again, eh?”

“No,” Mrin said suddenly. She had been examining the corpse's wrists. “This isn't a cultist issue. Come here and see.”

“How'd you figure?” I came closer and took a good long look at where she pointed. “I don't see anything.”

“Doc, Who the hell cares?” Athena stood behind me, crowding us in. “The cultists are probably back by now. Let's go kill them some more.”

"Hunting, killing, hunting. Is that all you ever think of doing?” I rounded on her. Call me immature, but that flippancy of hers was wearing on me. “There's a dead man there. Whether or not it is the cultists, we need to investigate and avenge him. And that means properly working out what's going on. Isn't that what you'd want someone to do for you?”

“If I'm dead, I wouldn't care what you did. Eat me, string me up by the innards, fuck my dead corpse, it's all the same to me.” She paused, and a shimmer of old anger, so unlike her, passed her features. “But cultist hunting is always a good idea.”

“You're like an animal, you know that? Oh, so the cultists hurt you. Boo-fucking-hoo. You can't spend the rest of your life mindlessly chasing vengeance. You're right. The cultists will always be there. So stop worrying about them, and start worrying about this new threat, because we can get rid of that. Or are you too desperate to meet your old friends again?”

Athena froze, and I saw rage flash across her features. It was dangerous to provoke her, to rip her mask off and reveal the ugly wounds that festered within. I did it anyway, because it was the only way to get her to listen. “Shut up, Doc,” she hissed, earlier cheer evaporated. “You're no angel of empathy yourself. Or do you think mocking-” Her voice hitched at the memory of things too bad to mention. "-what happened to me was an empathetic thing to do?"

Taglist:

@coffeeangelinabox, @dorky-pals, @calliecwrites, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @shukei-jiwa

@thewingedbaron, @pluppsauthor, @cowboybrunch, @wylloblr, @possiblyeldritch @ramwritblr, @urnumber1star, @tragedycoded, @bigwipscholar, @ratedn

@vampirelover890, @possiblylisle, @illarian-rambling, @the-ellia-west

@finicky-felix, @evilgabe29, @glitched-dawn, @rivenantiqnerd, @dragonhoardesfandoms

@drchenquill, @everythingismadeofchaos, @owldwagitoutofyou, @dimitrakies, @beloveddawn-blog

@riveriafalll, @the-golden-comet, @rascaronii, @trippingpossum, @real-fragments

@xenascribbles, @unrepentantcheeseaddict, @the-inkwell-variable

(Anyone else who wants to get added can tell me in the comments, pm me, or send me an ask about it!)

[jlhynde-insanitybrilliance]

Tommary fic idea:

1945: Tom through some animagus transformation gone wrong gets himself stuck as a cat living in Knockturn Alley. Turns out you can’t successfully become an animagus if you don’t have a complete soul (which given the lack of information on Horcruxes, Tom found out the hard way.)

1995: Harry, escaping from the Dursley’s during the summer, ends up renting a cheap flat in Knockturn above Borgin & Burke’s where he works as a shop assistant. While working there, Mr. Borgin is always complaining about this mangy, feral, cat living in the alley & how its always stealing things from the shop (because Tom had not stopped trying to get back to his original form). He tells Harry that he’s tried to kill it multiple times, but the damn thing somehow always gets away & if Harry sees it to kill it on sight.

Of course, Harry doesn’t do that, he starts leaving a part of his lunch in the alley every day for Tom. Slowly over a period of weeks, Harry earns Tom’s trust (well, not trust, but Tom starts looking at Harry like a free meal ticket) & Harry starts venting out his life to what he thinks is a cat. (Except this cat is oddly intelligent & at times, Harry swears it understands him & wonders if maybe it’s part kneazle.) Until one day, Harry asks Tom if he just wants to move in to the flat upstairs.

& since the flat is better than the Alley, Tom agrees. (Harry still leaves the window open to the fire escape, so Tom can come & go as he pleases.) Then cue all these funny cute scenes of Harry forcing him into a bath, of trying to get Tom to eat canned catfood, of Tom bringing back his stolen items to Harry’s flat & Harry constantly moving them back down to the shop (telling him he’s gotta stop stealing from the neighbors), Harry & Tom sleeping in the same bed with Tom splayed out over Harry’s face, of Harry trying to get him to wear a collar with a name tag so people stop thinking he’s a stray, Ahhhhh! So cute! & when Harry has to go back to Hogwarts at the end of the summer, he ends up taking Tom with him.

Eventually, I imagined that Harry figures out Tom is not in fact a cat & endeavors to help him return to his original form & by that time Tom is utterly smitten. They end up with a successful partial transformation, turning Tom into a human with the cat tail and ears, & Harry is not prepared for how handsome Tom is or how cute he is with the tail & ears. & of course, Tom ends up seducing Harry. He seduces Harry a lot.

But he refuses to wear the damn collar. It’s not happening.

Inspired off of this tiktok :

Whoops 😅 I started writing it. Oh well 🤷‍♀️

[memyselfandmya]

RAW REACTIONS TO JWCT

Spoilers below the cut, and warning it's long. My thoughts are all over the place rn so you'll get more organized posts tomorrow

Ep. 1

“Just the one.” FML

Darius you’re such a funny little guy

“I’m not talking about the island I’m talking about what happened after.” AHHHHHHH. The way this line was delivered and animated.

The family photos on the wall feel so symbolic. 

It’s sad how Darius has to go through this process of grief again.

What’s Brand doing to get himself into trouble?

*soft music plays* “And here with me live are the improbable survivors of the Jurassic World incident, the Nublar Six” CAN YOU HEAR ME FUCKING SOBBING.

Ben scrunched over that little compute please I can’t 😭

What’s especially sad about Darius’ grief is that he’s not just sad and depressed as if he’s accepted her death, it’s that he pushed himself into a sort of state of almost denial where he’s still calling her and stuff.

These raptors are freaky

1st episode over yayyyy

Ep. 2

Not the keys Darius 

The tensionnn

Ben and his driving skills 

Ben’s poor van

Ben still being the well prepared man he is

Ben…I’m concerned what is that board you have going on there

Why are these grown ass men living such horrible lives? Eating canned cheese out of a dirty mug? A spoon in a boot that makes sloshing noise?

Ben back at it w the shaving cream/ whipped cream. 

Darius is so unconvinced

BEN throwing Darius phone out like it was nothing plssss and his reaction 

BROOKLYNN I MISS YOU 

She’s so pretty though

Very ominous great way to emphasize Ben’s paranoia 

These poor traumatized kids

“Is your friend okay?” “No.” PLSS I’m glad he knows it

THE FUCKING FORESHADOWING 

OH THE SUSPENSE 

Ep. 3

Sammy’s ranch is so cuteeee

SAMMY MI AMOR THEIR REUNION IS JUST SO PRECIOUS 

The locs thing omg 

“Have you seen my pitchfork” she asks casually as if she’s a witch hunter during the Salem witch trials 

What do you mean Sammy isn’t talking to her parents 

Their reunion is soooo cute 

Sammy you are a queen and I love you.

FUCK YOU CARL

I forgot we were in Texas lmao

OH MY FUCKING GOD IT’S SAMMY SEEING BROOKLYNN FOR ME 😭 now it’s definitely for sure that Sammy died her hair in honor of B. Brooklynn’s jacket 😭

SAMMY 😭😭😭 “or Yaz pulling away from me”

FUCK OH MY GOD CARLS DEAD

Got me ugly crying 

Ep. 4

Darius’ humor is immaculate 

Everybody’s calling Ben by his full name and I love it

WHAT? GIRLFRIEND??

Nooo the brothers are fighting

Kenji has… downgraded

Oop- no the money loss

Sammy that kick was awesome marry me plz wait no u have Yaz marry her and then marry me

I knew they were fighting but god damn he rlly just shut the door or Darius like that

Kenji I love you dude but take this seriously 

Ooh the tension

Ouch, brooklynns death

Double ouch, Kenji blames Darius. Of course 

OH MY GOD HE’S OUT OF PRISON

“Once you lose my trust, you lose it. Forever.” Damn. Hang on let me go check off Kenji and his daddy issues off my bingo card rq

The girlies aren’t in a good place 😭😭 “why did she say something?” Plssss

I love how Sammy car jacked Ben by tickling him for his keys

Them abandoning Darius with Kenji 💀

I  love the rock climbing scene 

“where were you the night Brooklynn died?” Oop- we’re doing up this now?

OH!? oh

Awww fuckkkkkk 😭

That’s another mark on my card

YAY BROOKENJI IS OVER

but also damn… poor Kenji 

“Wait how do I get back down?” You’re so real Darius 

Aww bumpy noooo

Ep. 5

DANG THAT COMPY GOT SWEPT UP

“Hey that song kinda reminds me of that” *turns music off* oh

“Not taking family advice from a kid who hasn’t called his own mother in over a month.” OH. WERE YOU SILENT OR WERE YOU SILENCED. THE BOYS ARE TAKING SHOTS AT EACH OTHER 

YASAMMY

“Oh yeah, Darius warned me. LMFAO

Ohh she told you Benjamin. No more carob. 

The gyrosphereeeee

Oh fuck this guy whoever you are.

“Free the Dino’s.” YESSSSSSSS 

I had a feeling we’d see kenjis dad

“Did you have Brooklynn killed?” Oh going in hot ig

Oh shit- DAMN BEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME

OK, I feel bad for Sammy because even after all of these years, she makes one mistake by spying for mantah corp and people still kind of hold it over her head, even her best friends. that must suck 

Ooh the tension

“Don’t do the Japanese thing. You know I don’t speak it.” Ooh we’re bringing the culture too! JW ain’t playing 

Oh shit-

YOU DONT MANIPULATE MY SON ANYMORE OH SHITTTTTT

AHHH SAMMMYYYYYYYY

I love how Ben and Sammy take down a Dino abuser just as a little side quest

Aww they’re so cute  OH MY GOD WTF HE’S THE “WEVE GOT A PROBLEM DUDE”???

Poor kenji THATS RIGHT YOU STAND UP TO HIM KENJI FUCK YOU DANIEL

“Im not afraid to get my hands dirty” oh shit-

OH FUCK CAN THEY CAMOUFLAGE??

OHH SHIT

WHO TF IS THAT SHE LOOK LIKE A FUCKING DOLL I WANT MY MOM HELP

FUCK OH MY GOD FUCK WHAT THE HELL

POOR KENJI

THAT CANT BE A FUCKING REAL PERSON

WHO TF IS THAT IN THE CAR??

AWWWWWWWW FUCK KENJI IM SO SORRY

Ep.6

YAZ MY SWEET GIRLY HIIII AWW POOR GIRLY DAMN NOT EVEN A FULL MINUTE IN AND WERE ALREADY BRUNGING IN THE TRAUMA

she’s so pretty thoughhhh

Aww brooklynnn 

AWW THE BABY TALK

Aww the trauma poor baby I just wanna give her a hug

“Any particular reason I’m here and not Sammy?” Ooohh

Awwwww

Yaz I love you. You’re so pretty, and cool, and just a bunch of good things

OH MU GOD THAT PIC OF THEM IS SO CUTE

Are you gonna answer the phone Yaz?

YAYYYY SHE PICKED UP

MY GIRLIES I LOVE THEM

“Wait you’re coming here?” You can hear the panic in her voice.

IM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU YAZ

Yaz is definitely suspicious. 

AHHH THEY SAID THE L WORD

I love this episode already

It’s so amazing that they’re actually addressing their mental health. I don’t think I’ve ever heard children’s shows say the words  traumatizing and ptsd.

Oop. So this is where you live Yaz?

Awwwwww she’s waiting for them AWWWWWWWWWWWW (MORE LIKE A SHRILL SHRIEK) THEYRE REUNITED 

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH IM CRYING 

Awww I love Ben and Yazs friendship so much

Ooh time to drop the news

This place is so pretty and nice and Yaz genuinely seems to be happy. Also she knows people :)

“Benny Boy.” Aww

Sammy is not enjoying this place lmao

“You’re favorite.” Oop-

UH OH IM SCARED I DONT WANT TO SEE THEM FIGHT I THOUGHT I WAS READY BUT I DONT KNOW

WE GIT THE SCENE

BEN GET YIUR GOOFY ASS OFF THE GROUND

IM SCAREDDDDD 

Oh shit

AHHHHH 

OH FUCK FUCK I DONT WANT TO SEE THEM AGRUE DIDNT WE HAVE ENOUGH OF THAT IN CAMP CRETACEOUS 

I love that Sammy is trying to protect Yaz but she is taking it a little too far. Ben is me, I can’t see I’m blinddddd blinddddd blindddd

But also Yaz you didn’t keep in contact?? 

Oh shit Yaz has a point though *shrieking*

Not the fucking time Ben 

I take it back this isn’t my favorite episode I don’t love this episode

Ben struggling to give advice plssss. I love you dude

I love Yaz and Ben’s friendship so much though

“When me and my girlfriend—“ the swoop up, like right Yaz. “I’m sorry girlfriend?” Right. That’s what we’re all wondering

“Why does everyone act so surprised when I say that?” BECAUSE YOU’RE GAY??

OH FUCK OH FUCK PEOPLE ARE DYING OH FUCK RICH DIED

I DONT KNOW WHO HE IS BUT HE IS DEWD. EATEN. GONE OH SHIT POOR YAZ

aww poor Sammy I just thinks Yaz needs some great room. 

Sammy was definitely abt to say “how the hell”

WE GOT THE OTHER SCENE

The little side eye Ben gives Yaz after “big Ben’s got moves” <3<3

OH FUCK THEY ARE TRAPPEDOh dpw is here they got it

the little hand hold <3<3

OH FUCK THE DPW IS NOT THERE THEY DONT GOT IT THE DPW IS MAKING IT WORSE FUCK I HAD A FEELING 

OH FUCK THEYRE FAKLING IN THE WATER

OH MY GOD WTF

Ep. 7

Oh they are under under.

My worst fear lowkey

oh shit…

OH SHIT THEY ARE SO CUTE AWWWW

poor kenji… awww fuck this is so sad. 

Who is this guy??

Uh oh… the dpw

Kenji poor baby

WHAT ARE YALL JUST DOUING SITTING THERE???

Ben really? Ductape

That’s my strong girls 

Nah this shit is terrifying 

Oh thank god 

Oh shit we’re finding out what happened 

Aww a little girl 

Oop corruption… but for a good cause?

Oh shit

How tf did Brooklynn not feel those footsteps?

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

Is Brooklynn actually dead? Moment of truth.

Awww no no no no 😭 Darius fuckkkkk 😢

I can’t believe they actually showed a pool if blood. Brooklynns pool of blood

Wait so they saw her dead body? So she’s actually dead? Or what?

Oh fuckkkkkklk 😖 

STOP 😭

AWWW YASAMMY IS SO FUCKING CUTW AWWWWv

Not the random Italian 😭

OOH FUCK NOT THE PASSWORD UH OH

STFU DUDE

Ben was WAITING to throw those phones

Yaz I love you. “I am so going to haunt them from beyond the grave.”

I KNEW THE ROOM WE SAW WAS BROOKLYNN’S PLACE

Her house is so cuteeee

Please Sammy your voicemail 😭 I love how we’re getting to hear everyone’s voicemail

Awww

Oooh the plot thickens

Oh shitttt BROOKLYNN WTF ARE U DOING?

A FEW MILLION?? PASS THAT ON OVER RIGHT OVER HERE

OH SHIT

Ep. 8

WTF ARE YALL DOING WHY ARE YOU DIRECTLY IN THE CAGE WITH THE DINO ARE YOU ACTUALLY INSANE ATP YOU’RE GIVING IT A FREE MEAL YAZ WTF ARE YOU DOING YALL ARE TESTING FATE RN

KENJI YOU CANT BE SCREAMING LIKE THAT ALSO WTF WAS THAT SCREAM but also I can’t judge that’s me when I see a spider 

Oh I forgot abt all of those voicemails Darius sent

Aw lowkey poor dinosaurs

Who is he?

Kenji you’re such a goofball. Eew no I take it back gagging barfing gross wtf 

No Brooklynn what’d we say abt the baby talk pls no

Yes, Darius I am sufficiently uncomfortable 

Uh oh the boys are tussling I’m getting flashbacks to Ben and Darius 

Awww dariusssss 😭

Camp fam try not to get recognized by strangers challenge quick, start

Damnnn Sammy that was smooth. 

Darius… why are you in that gross ass tub

Camp fam boys try not to be gross challenge 

WHATTT

HANDS TO MY MOUTH IM ACTUALLY SHOOK RN

WDYM “I WAS IN LOVE WITH BROOKLYNN”

I DIDNT THINK THERED BE DINOSTAR WTF

OMG

Please get out of the fucking tub

You don’t know what’s been done in there

Are we just abandoning all self respect we have 

HOLY SHIT

oh is it the video? The video of her death?

Bumpyyyy

Oh fuck… 

YAZ 😭😭😭 “boo.” Please I love youuu

Right, that’s my reaction lmao

Oop Brooklynns mad

Nah cause she stared at that dinosaur for 3 straight up seconds girl has your time on numblar taught you anything??

In my Abby Lee voice: “BROOKLYNN HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?!”

no wonder your ass got ate

I’m sorry that’s mean.

I love you girly

Oh fuck.

Girly is dead

😭😭😭

“You and me, we’re brothers right?” STOP YOURE BREAKING MY HEART 😭😭😭😭😭

Stoppppp

Will we ever find out why Darius wasn’t there??

Oop dinosaurs 

What’s wrong with bumpy??

AHHHH SHE SAID IT SHE SAID THE CHAOS LINE “maybe not”

“What are you looking at?” Pftttt

Uh oh. He’s dead…

Oh well

Oh now they’re really looking 

“Yeah I don’t like that at all.” Yeah but I loveeee you Sammy 

Ep. 9

Poor Sammy but girl you need to chill

Bumpy???

Awww. I love yasammy and seeing them work through the it issues. ASWWWWWWW

OOH the gangs all here

How tf did Darius and Kenji scale that fence

Oh shit,

Miss ma’am you are too pretty to be participating in nefarious acts like this 

Lmfao “okay we get it you’re a climber”

What did I tell you girl? Way too pretty to be doing this shit

Come on Kenji put those protein drinks to work

Yaz wearing a crop top 🥰

Awww bunny nooo fuck fuck

Awww Ben 💔

Oh fuck no I would not be climbing up there 

the gangs all here

Okay kenji 

Damn Sammy you stay trying to knock kenji out I love you ❤️ 

Also the part where Yaz is covering both their mouths? So badass

Awww reunion how sweet

PFTTT DARIUS 

BUMPY NOOOO 😭

Oh so when they said international they meant international 

Oh shit…fuck… Brooklynn :(

LMFAO BEN

Oh…Ben 

Bumpy…

OH SHIT BUMPY IS SHE HAVING…

OH WAIT SAMMY’S SO PRETTY

FUCK WAIT BUMPY

NOOOOOOOO WTF

OH WAIT WTF

SAMMMYYYY 

STOP FOOLING US

YALL R SO WROMG FOR THAT

LMFA “DON’T THINK ABT IT BUD” 

cmon did you rlly have to ruin the happy moment?

Ep. 10

HOLY SHIT LAST EPISODE 

Oh the plot THICKENS 

SAMMY I LOVE YOU

OKAY BIG BEN OH SHIT BIG BENS DOWN

SAMMY I FUCKING LOVE YOU

OH SHIT OH SHIT THE TENSION IS INCREASING

NOOONOT HER SHE SCARES ME

AHHH I WANNA GO HOME

SHE CANT BE FUCKING REAL 

oh shit…

WAIT so it was the atrociraptors that killed Brooklynn???

OH FUCK HOW IS THIS A KIDS SHOW

YOU KNOW WHERE WHAT!?!?

OH FUCK

OH FUCK IT SMELLS THEM

OH SHIT

OH FUCK?

what if it’s Ronnie?

Oh it’s Mateo okay. 

TORO??

Aww yasammy

DAMN THAT SHOT WAS COOL THE TREX AND THE EXPLOSION 

HE PUNCHED IT 

AHHHHHH YAZ SAMMY YASAMMY OH MY GOD “MY GIRL” OH MY FUCKING GODDDD

NOW THAT WAS A SHOT STRAIGHT FROM TEXAS

THE KICK!?.

OH MY GODDDD HES ABOUT TO DO THE THING 

HES DOING THE THING OH MY GOD THE PARALLELS 

HOLY SHIT THIS SCENE IS INCREDIBLE 

THAT FUCKING ROAR

Oh?? The Broker??

HAHAHA THATS WHAT YOU GET 

WHY IS THIS BITCH STILL ALIVE AND HERE?

OH FUCK BYE BITCH WITH THAT UGLY ASS HAIRCUT 

Lmfao not them shitting on kenjis camper

Are they going to Brooklynn’s apartment?? Abroad?? 

THE LOOKS OF SHOCK ON THEIR FSCES RIGHT BEN THAT WAS MY REACTION 

AWWW NOT THE UNREQUITED LOVE TROPE

AWW FUCK :( :(

YAY WERE GOING ON AN ABROAD JOURNEY 

JESUS FUCK MATTEO 

OH MY GODDDD WERE GOING ON A TRIP IN OUR FAVORITE CARGOSHIP 

RONNIEEEEEE HI DARLING

OH WAIT WTF RONNIE WHATE R U DOING DONT TELL ME…

wait…… is she texting…

Wait wait wait this could be either good or bad but I’m thinking good

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOLY FUCKING SHIT I WAS RIGHT WE WERE RIGHT RUGHT 

OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GODDDDDDDD WE WERE RIGHT 

OH MY GOD SHES ALIVE AND SHE LOOKS SO BADASSS

[britany1997]

The Lost Boys watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

(Part Two- Seasons 4-5) (spoilers for BTVS)

Part one

•They take another break after the season 3 final. Angel leaving the show broke Dwayne’s heart just a little

•They start season four and Paul’s like, ‘there’s a vampire frat???? Where can I pledge?!

•…never mind

•They don’t have a good feeling about this Parker guy (really they just don’t like to watch her fuck human guys, but 🤷🏻‍♀️)

•They think Dingos Ate My Baby is really cool

•Marko and Paul think they should start a band too!

•Dwayne and David are like, we don’t play instruments?????

• “you guys ruin everything”😠 -Marko

•David’s like, ‘fine, we all sing you guys want to start a quartet? Is that what you want????’

•Paul thinks that sounds like a good time tbh

•But he senses David was being sarcastic…so they keep watching.

•SPIKE IS BACK???? Fuck. Yes.

•He’s got a new crazy vampire babe?? This guy is their hero

•Dwayne is like, I can’t believe Spike literally tried to kill Buffy but Parker’s the biggest villain of this episode

•They all love Oz

•They don’t care that he’s a wolf, they’d vibe (ok, David cares a little)

•Paul swears up and down that man smokes weed. He’s like, no person is that calm all the time

•NEVERMIND

•Paul watches Oz cheat on Willow and he says “it’s giving Parker”

•The military got Spike????? THAT CAN HAPPEN???

•They had never considered this possibility before

•They’re like damn we might have to lay low for a couple weeks, like “the murder capital of the world” is probably on some government radars

•Dwayne says he only supports an army totally independent of and opposed to a capitalist state

•Paul’s like, can we just watch the show? Geez

•They are absolutely terrified by the prospect of a chip that can stop you from killing

•Marko is furious

• “WHY WOULD YOU TAKE AWAY HIS ONE TRUE JOY IN UNLIFE YOU MONSTERS.”

•They take another break after this episode, that last one was the vampire equivalent of a Saw movie

•They come back after their massacre break

•David’s like, this better be a Spike heavy episode

•Spike’s kinda in his ‘no bitches🥺’ era right now tho

•They skip Pangs. As they should.

•Next episode Willow casts a spell so that Buffy falls for Spike

•They like Willow

•They do NOT like Riley

•They thought Xander was the biggest Vampire cock block and now Buffy’s flirting with this army guy????

•Disappointing

•Hush freaks them out

•Dwayne is clenching his teeth throughout the episode.

•Like they may be vampires but these freaky guys cutting peoples hearts out in silence with smiles on their faces? Hella creepy. They are not fans

• “No Spike don’t stake yourself you’re too sexy ahaha”-Paul

•He even makes a Hawaiian shirt look good

•Like why he keep it unbuttoned like that, he knew what he was doing

•David listens to them thirst over this guy that looks quite a bit like him with a smirk on his face praise kink

• ‘oh man the military organization are the bad guys? Who could have predicted this incredibly surprising turn of events’🙄

•Spike can’t catch a break

•Marko is SO pissed he can’t eat Riley

•All this seasons problems could be solved if Spike could eat Riley

•Faith is back and it’s erotic

•Paul watches this episode chanting “kiss kiss kiss” under his breath

•They do not kiss:(

•Faith stole Buffy’s body???

•😮😮😮😮

•They get to that one scene with Spike in the Bronze where Faith (in Buffy’s body) tells Spike, “I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more.”

•Paul’s like, ‘I would sell my soul just to hear her say that to me’

•David’s like, ‘you already sold your soul for eternal life dumbass’

•Paul is grumpy™️

•The next episode features Riley and Buffy having constant and uncontrollable sex

•It hurts Paul to see people living his dream

•The boys pat him on the back sympathetically

•Oz comes back and Marko’s like, ‘She likes GIRLS dog boy! You blew it!’

•They love Willow and Tara🥰 unproblematic couple

•Spike is a MENACE Marko loves him

•finding new and innovative ways to be evil😈

•The military is really putting chips in people left and right (new fear unlocked for the boys)

•Paul should NOT have smoked before the dream sequence episode

•Dracula cameo in the next episode

•They did him dirty with this portrayal, he’s not that ugly in really life

•Like that’s sort of their great grandfather??

•She let him drink from her?? Again, it hurts to see everyone else living their dream😔

•Dracula has not one, but three crazy vampire girlfriends

•Respect.

•Marko is seething

•Buffy kills Dracula and they’re like, so are the hot vampire chicks free👀

•Harmony’s back? Nice.

•They’re already tired of Dawn.

•She has a crush on Xander so they know she’s got terrible taste

•Spike has a plan to get that chip out of his head, Marko’s like, “fucking finally” he misses bloodthirsty Spike he was hot

•Spike does not get the chip out of his head

•He DOES have a wet dream about Buffy

•Paul’s like, ‘he just like me fr’

•This next episode features Spike in his orignal ‘No Bitches🥺’ era

•They all look at David when ponytail, glasses, poetry Spike comes on screen

• “I wasn’t like that.” -David

•They like, ok and all side eye each other👀

•Angel (sort of) makes a cameo in this episode and Dwayne smiles

•He missed him🥺

•They watch 70s punk Spike steal his coat off the body of a dead slayer

•They’re like is that how you got yours David

•He’s like yes

•He found it in a dumpster, but the boys don’t need to know that

•Spike is boyfriend material fr, Buffy’s trippin’

•They don’t like when the monsters are gross

•They came here for a sexy time and a sexy time only😤

•Riley’s going to vampire clubs to let vampires drink from him? Dwayne says: “men will do anything but go to therapy”

•They watch her set the vampire den on fire with their jaws on the floor

• “I really think I could fix her you guys, I just need one night” -Paul

•They roll their eyes at Riley’s bitching

•Just let him fly away on that helicopter Buffy, you can do better

•Spike is killing vampires now?? Wtf???

•Paul’s like, ‘we’ve done a lot of things to get laid. Remember Michael?’ They stare at David

•David’s like you right you right

•Glory’s a god? Damn

•They like ayo baby let us worship you

•real talk, there’s not many characters on the show they don’t find incredibly attractive

•Dawn, Xander, and Riley are pretty much the only ones that didn’t make the hot list

• “but what about Giles?” He sings and plays guitar, he looks damn good in a suit, he’s a total daddy, he’s on the list.

•Spike is a simp

•SPIKE IS A HUGE SIMP

•Takes her on a little stake out date and everything (smooth)

•Buffy rejects him?

•They like give him a chance Buffy he would treat you so well (and let him bite you a little geez)

•Marko’s like, ‘there’s more vampire sex coming right? It wasn’t just the one time’

•Paul’s like, ‘I read the season six plot summary, yes😈’

•Woah crazy vampire girlfriend’s back

•Things are gettin kinda freaky

•They had missed the bondage in this show fr

•Buffy’s mom dies?!?!

•This episode hurt them

•As little as they care for human life, they all had mothers once, even if they can’t remember anymore

•Humans are so fragile

•Angel returns to comfort Buffy, Dwayne thinks he’s husband material

•Spike has those nerd guys build him a…Buffy sex robot???

•Dwayne’s team Angel

•Paul’s like, “haha that’s so crazy of him” he immediately googles if he can get one

•He cannot. Probably for the best.

•Willow has to watch Tara’s brain get drained from her skull???? No!!!!

•They love Willow and Tara!!!

•They don’t care how hot this bitch is (they care a little) Buffy better kick her ass

•oh damn ok Willow’s gonna kick her ass

•They’re running away now?

•Spike pulls up with a giant Winnebago, they love him

•Paul’s like, ‘you think we can drive during the day like that if we black out all the windows?’

•Dwayne’s like, ‘you know you’re never allowed behind the wheel of a car ever again’

•Paul pouts

•The bad guys steal the kid?

•Things got real dark real quick

•SHE HAS TO DIE? Wtf

•Paul’s like ‘remember when the biggest problem in this show was what to wear to the prom?’

•Buffy and Spike are friends again! Yay!

•Willow a badass fr

•Oh my god they might really kill this kid

•SHE DIES??? BUFFY DIES???

•It can’t end like this

•They need another break after that finale (Paul is inconsolable)

There will be a part 3 for seasons 6-7!! (And season sex six is spicy, Paul’s excited)

Tag list❤️🖤❤️:

@misslavenderlady @6lostgirl6 @ghoulgeousimmaculate @crustyraccoon @riz-coolgirl @skeletonea

[pintsizemama]

Decorate the Tree

Day 3

Summary: It’s your first official Christmas with your four lovers, and you want it to be special.

Pairings: Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Oberyn Martell, Dave York, & Max Phillips x You, Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Oberyn Martell, Dave York, & Max Phillips x Female Reader

Fandom: Triple Frontier, Game of Thrones, The Equalizer 2, & Bloodsucking Bastards

Rating: Mature

Warnings: reference to drinking blood (vampire), polyamorous relationship

Word Count: 743

A/N: This is a continuation of Surprise Trip from the 2021 Christmas Writing Challenge.

Day 2 Day 4 Christmas Masterlist Main Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

You glanced tiredly around your now very cluttered living room. You had spent half the day pulling out Christmas decorations, and then shopping for even more. You were excited. This was the first year you were spending Christmas with all the guys. It had been two years since the five of you hooked up in that hotel room. You had held to the decision to meet regularly for more trysts. For over a year the five of you got together at least monthly—more if you could. Sometimes it wasn’t all four of the men, work and life got in the way, but you hadn’t gone more than a few weeks without seeing at least one of them.

After that first year something shifted. Deeper feelings developed, and you all realized you wanted this to be a more permanent arrangement. Basically, a guy at work started to show interest, and you told the guys. You had no interest in your coworker, but you never kept secrets from these men, so you let them know someone was pursuing you while out to dinner one night. They all went very still and quiet. You knew they discussed it when you excused yourself to go to the bathroom because when you went back to Oberyn’s house, they immediately proposed a plan.

They hated the idea of anyone else with you. You were theirs. So, despite all four men being devout bachelors, they committed to you right then and there. A few months ago you all moved in together, and it was absolute bliss.

Oberyn and Dave didn’t have their kids this year for the holidays, so you wanted to make it extra special to take their minds off not being with their children…hence the decoration overload currently inhabiting your living room.

“Holy shit,” a deep male voice startled you from your thoughts. You turned to see Max and Santi had arrived home.

“Oh, thank God you’re here!” You exclaimed in relief. You kissed them both in greeting.

“What happened in here?” Max asked.

“I need your help,” you began. “I want to get this all sorted and the tree up before Oberyn and Dave get home. Then we can all decorate the tree together.”

“You know what? I’m not even gonna ask,” Santi chuckled. “Just tell me what you need me to do.” A little over an hour later the three of you had made a lot of progress. The tree was up and almost everything was organized.

“I’m gonna order some dinner,” Santi said as he glanced at his watch. “They’ll be home soon, and I’m sure they’ll be as hungry as we are.”

“Good idea,” you agreed.

“Max, you eating what we’re having or…something else?” Santi asked.

“I’ll eat with you guys,” he answered. His hot gaze fell on you. “I’ll have ‘something else’ for dessert.” You shivered in anticipation. Max didn’t always feed off of you. He was afraid of going too far and hurting you. But when he did, it felt so damn good. You felt strong arms wrap around you from behind.

“Would you like that, sweet cheeks?” Max whispered in your ear. He ran his nose up the side of your neck. “You want me to suck on this beautiful throat later?”

“Mmm, yes please,” you moaned. Just then you heard the front door open. Dave and Oberyn walked in, their eyes widening slightly at the scene before them.

“Wow,” Oberyn said. “You’ve been busy.” Max dropped his arms so you could rush forward to greet the others. After kissing them both you stepped back and surveyed them. They looked tired, but relieved to be home.

“Are you guys up for some tree trimming?” You asked.

“Of course, baby girl,” Dave said as Oberyn nodded. You clapped in excitement.

“Yay!” You cheered. “This is going to be so much fun.”

“Dinner’s ordered and on the way!” Santi called out. You assigned tasks to everyone, and the five of you got to work. Elf played on the tv and in no time at all the tree was done. Dinner arrived, and you decided to eat in the family room so you could admire the tree. You all sat on floor around the coffee table while you enjoyed dinner.

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. Your life had changed so much in the last 2 years, and you couldn’t wait to see how much better it would get.

Day 4

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[plaindangan]

Sexy club asks: The gift giving club was supposed to be a club where the three games protags could find time to relax with all the panic of their daily lives. But recently, all they seem to do is tell stories about how chaotic their lives are due to some horny babes (even from outside of their class)!

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not view!

Ah, the gift giving club.

President: Makoto Naegi

Vice President: Hajime Hinata

Treasurer: Shuichi Saihara

A club exclusively for those who give gifts out on a near daily basis, meaning it was a place just for them. I mean, Kaede qualified as well, but given its main purpose as a designated break room - they were sort of holding off on adding any more people just yet.

Especially, given their experiences with women recently.

"..."

"..."

"..."

Makoto sighed and was the first to speak up. "Rough week for you guys too?"

"Fucking Hell you wouldn't believe it..."

"Y-yeaaaah...."

Makoto pointed towards Shuichi. "You go first. I heard you were having some problems at your agency recently? With new hires?"

The emo detective's face flushed pink.

"...You could say that."

-

"M-maaahiiiruuuu~ I...I need to focus on on the case~" moaned Shuichi. It was dead at night and Shuichi would have been trying to collect evidence on a recent burglary. Mahiru had joined his agency, usually using her talent to take photos of the crime scene before he got to work...

But, now seems to solely focuses on jerking of Shuichi through his pants instead. "Q-quiet!! This is just...yeah! To clear your mind!! Just clearing your mind before we start. Just...relax~ Relax and focus on cumming for Big Si-erm! I-I mean, cumming so you can be in a calm state when investigating~"

"Oh, is Shuichi getting nervous? That's no good. Here...you can use these to steady yourself! I...I have been eating more of Hina's donuts to make them softer and, a-ah, bigger. T-to help provide immediate on-site comfort, of course!! It's all for the sake of the investigation!! So...please, indulge yourself~" Entering the room was Sakura Ogami. Needing some extra change for herself, Sakura joined Shuichi's agency to be a bodyguard for his crime scenes and organization itself. She had came inside for a break - overheard sounds of a thick cock being pumped - and just had to see for herself. Ignoring the brief jealousy against Mahiru for such boldness, she upped the ante by pulling down her shirt to flash her sweaty, incredibly milky boobs to Shuichi's face. Before promptly pulling his face in-between them.

Yeah, safe to say, not much work got done that day~

--

"God, yeah that sounds...rough." Hajime agreed, before a hand went to his head. "Reminds me of the situation I'm in right now..."

-

All Hajime wanted to do...

Was just in the library and read.

This was not reading!!!!

At the moment, Hajime was in the very back of the library, pants down and cock being ferociously sucked off. And by whom? Why it was none other than the de facto librarian herself, Toko Fukawa, who looking so lost in his sweaty, salty, meat. She dragged him there to tackle a 'noise complaint' (blatant lies)...in her own way~

"T-tookooooo!! D-damn it, I-I...I just wanna-ghhhh!!" He started, but a nother lick from her slimy tongue had him cringe in pleasure and stopped in his tracks.

"Keep this going?~ Why a-a-aren't you a c-cute l-little stud!!! Or rather, big stud?~ Eheheehe~ Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuurpppp! God, you taste amazing!! I wish I had 'her' tongue for this moment to savor this better!!" she wished before going back to bobbing his head on his meat stick.

Well...least no one else could see thi-

"GASP!!! H-hajimeeee!!! I-I knew it! I knew you were a degenerate!!!! I thought maybe a Reserve Course student would be different, but you clearly are just as much scum as the filthy men in this course as well!! I'll punish you!!!" Oh God, no. It was Tenko. For a moment, as the martial artist hovered over him, he thought she was going to kick his face in. However, instead, she not only dropped her skirt and panties, she sat down right on his face.

Smothering him with his fatty globes until Hajime eventually passed out from it...and from cumming his balls out down Toko's throat.

-

"T-tenko and Toko together...that's a deadly combo." Shuichi said, patting Hajime on the back. Though, now both Shuichi and Hajime were curious.

"So, Makoto, what did you face?"

With his face bright scarlet, the luckster pressed his fingers together.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeell...."

-

"C'mon, Makoto, this is a collab of a century!!! Just picture it!!! Your club of plain audience surrogates molds itself under me to create a proper Plain People Club! An audience for ordinary people, by ordinary people and empowers even more plainers like us!! It'd be amazing!! And do you know the best part?" Tsumugi smirked and with sudden force squeeze her tits together. Tits that had been jerking off Makoto for the past hour and having in a state of extreme pleasure. "I can do this...whenever you want~ So, what do you say?"

"Aaaaaaahh.....I-I....o-ohhh...." Makoto groaned, trying desperately not to give in. Knowing that the Hope of a sanctuary rest upon him to not be taken in by Tsumugi's words...or her phat tits!!! Though he really was about to cum...when Hiyoko burst into the room.

"HEY!!! Fuck off nerd!!!" With a mighty bump from her thicc hips, Hiyoko pushed Tsumugi away before smirking darkly at the wet cock in front of her. Turning around she flashed her mega thicc moneymaker at Makoto before plopping right on down his twitchy member.

"Teeheehee~ Please, forget that blue bitch!!! What you really wanna do is get you and all those losers in your silly club onto MY club to start it up!! The Domination Protection Club!! You lame-o's give me cash and I use that to keep you all off every other bully's menu? Seems like a fair deal, riiiight?~ Plus...you get this as a reward for each payment threshold you meet!!" Hiyoko said, grinding her soft cake onto Makoto's dick, taking pride in how close he was to cumming and selling the club's soul-!!!

-

"--But then Tsumugi tackled her off me. While they were fighting, I managed to sneak away." Both other guys looked at Makoto incredulously and with the deepest of sympathies.

"God, that sounds tiring...but at least we're safe here." Hajime said, sighing and leaning back in his chair.

Shuichi nodded, smiling and giving a thumbs up. "Yeah, it's just us for the next hour."

With his two friends in good spirits, Makoto couldn't help but give a reassuring nod. "Yep!! It's just our time at last to catch our breaths and-"

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

...

Who...who was at the door? All three made their way to the door window...and their face paled. All six mentioned women were at the door. All six looking incredibly horny. All six more than capable of finding a way in there.

The boys cocks twitched in fear and excitement.

Yeah, they wouldn't be safe at all~

[biomic]

I take it you don't like Drive (Chase, Heart, Medic etc notwithstanding) so how would you make it better?

complaining about gaim and drive in one night it's 2015 again babey

capture roidmudes instead of blowing them up!!!! cop toku is always gonna have dodgy implications but drive was just so egregious about it to me. i remember sanjo saying that after gaim was more serialized, he would ensure that every episode of drive would have a cool fight where a monster was defeated. cool if you're doing a show about some interdimensional tyrant that eats universes or whatever, less cool if you're doing a show where your cop protagonist kills every robot he fights without a second thought until the end where the audience is maybe kinda supposed to feel bad for them actually? "isn't it sad that the roidmudes couldn't escape this unavoidable fate?" it was very avoidable! extremely avoidable! tony you CHOSE

develop gou and chase's friendship more organically. there's some good stuff there in theory but there needed to be way more "damn it, im kinda warming up to this guy >:(" as opposed to the constant one-sided antagonism that went on for far too long. as is, i just couldn't buy into chase's death scene or gou's big cathartic fight with banno at all, though i totally get why it's such a highlight for others. really enjoyed mach's v-cin tho

in a world where sexism doesn't exist there is no reason on earth kiriko should not be the main character of this show. everything that makes shinnosuke unique as a protagonist also applies to her, doubly so in that instead of having some random dead cop for a dad, her father is the big bad! imagine kiriko, gou, heart, and medic all fighting together to stop the abusive father who raised them? could be pretty poetic and tie a lot of things together. oh well, here's a half-hearted kuuga callback in a parking lot instead

in the world we actually live in where the powers that be at toei and bandai could've easily allowed this, couldn't kiriko at least have become proto-drive in the back half of the show? even pulling a kiva and having it just be for one episode would've been appreciated. could've been a perfect way to cap off her arc, having her overcome her trauma from the global freeze by literally becoming the hero that saved her to protect others. instead, everyone lies to her about everything involving banno to spare her feelings because she's literally a fragile 24 year old minor

just let kiriko do ANYTHING AFTER GOU'S DEBUT MAKES HER BASICALLY IRRELEVANT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON, ACTUALLY?? PLEASE?????? IM BEGGING YOU

heart and brain kiss with tongue

[lutawolf]

The 8th Sense ep 9

I'm going to hang on to the image above by bl-bam-beyond to get me through what I'm sure is to be a roller coaster.

Deep Breath... Okay Lets Do This!!!

I FUCKING LOVE THIS THERAPIST!!! That deep sigh when she says, "okay, work on yourself first." Because she knows there is no other choice. Because emotional fucking damage. I get this so much. I love you, lady.

"And when you're ready, think about what you want to do next." "I want to protect him." Sometimes love is selfless, and sometimes it's selfish. Sometimes they are a little bit of both. Here, we have someone who just wants the person they love to be safe. Not comprehending that sometimes it's better to have love than be safe.

I love bestie so much. Even though I feel an overwhelming need to smack that food out of his mouth, so I can hear him. Even if I'm just reading subtitles. I make no damn sense but there ya go.

I will say that Jae Won makes sense to Ji Hyun which is why they are simply meant to be. Even if I feel the urge to knock some mother fucking sense into everyone.

Haha, bestie over here throwing out words like narcissistic. I won't even correct him because he is funny. Apparently it's not common sense, cause you used it wrong. Still love you though boo.

I freaking love the trio so much! They are adorable. And you can't convince me otherwise. Oh lawd, he just now thought about his painful past.

Well... At least he is pretty, and he gets it now. So. 👀👀👀 And he has solid friends. Fighting! Then bestie goes and thrusts the dagger in. Damn.

Oh, this is going to be a tough scene to watch, isn't it. Those sitting next to each other talking about the incident.

Noooo!!! Him reaching out to hold his hand is gutting me.

Guys!!! Not gonna lie, I was literally holding my breath while I waited for him to go to her. Damn, that was painful. I mean, he isn't so good at it, but he is trying right. That's what matters. Ji Hyun come back and show this clueless boy how it's done!

Fuck, I hate her. She makes me want to gag every time I see her. I want to punch her in the face every time she says Oppa.

Nooooooooooo SHE DIDN'T!

Nope... I'm not okay. Everyone else can forgive. I am not in the forgiveness business. Guess I'll be the odd one out. He wanted to protect him, and then he does that. Yeah… Did that look like protection to you, do, and then you have the ability to be nice to her afterward. To not immediately go after that baby boy. Yeah, fuck this. Guess I'm gonna be the unpopular opinion here.

I love his bestie so much. Ji Hyun, you have the best bestie ever. I have mixed feelings on seeing Jae Won. I'm petty and I don't like to see him happy when he hurt Ji Hyun yet on the other side, maybe it means he is taking his fucking meds and getting his head on straight.

Oh, the look in his eyes when Ji Hyun just left. Then a deep swallow. You deserved that bitch. You really did.

Now that's unselfish love. Even believing that it's all ended. That the cunt won. He doesn't push but lets him know he supports him.

I mean... Didn't you do the same thing to Ji Hyun minus the sex. You didn't even break up officially before being back with her. Shit, I don't even know why I'm bothering to type anymore. I'm sure people have stopped reading at this point.

Shit, doesn't that sound familiar. "I apologize, I was out of my mind." I swear to god if I don't see some growth in this boy.

Oh, the boss knows. Dude, I love her. Okay, I'm pissed at you dude, but that was funny. "I'm here to eat, not listen to a fortune-teller."

OMG! I FUCKING LOVE HER!

"I can't seem to organize my life." "Then organize it." I don't know how many times I've said this. You know what the problem is, now start working towards a solution instead of sitting there and not doing anything about it. I can only help so much, eventually you've got to help yourself. "I feel like things got screwed up big time and I don't know where to begin to fix it."

Shit hit him! Oh, thank you baby Jezebel she hit him! I knew I was in love with her! Oh, I really love her. Knock some motherfucking sense into him!

There ya go. You only live once. Are you finally hearing people, asshole.

Oh! My little button nose. Isn't that just love. Love is forgiveness. For the people who deserve, who support you, and you want to be beside you. Love is forgiveness.

gif by @bl-bam-beyond

I love the song playing in the background of the kiss. Life is complicated and messy, grab your happiness where you can.

For those who read this. Thank you! 💜💜💜

[extinct-fish]

Chapter 2 of Pay The Price

just a little preview. I thought you guys would like this.

Back to your job. You glanced at your list: Steven Rudboys, Francis Mosses (you still couldn’t tell if you should pronounce it Moss-es or Moses.), Mia Stone, and Albertsky Peachman. Seems to be a light list today. 

The first person steps up, and you take a good look at him: a man with green eyes, a gray suit with a white-collar shirt and a red tie, combined with a long face, scar on the right chin, a big-ass nose that could be compared to a minecraft villager, a unibrow, hatless. Wait, hatless?

“Umm, sir, where’s your hat?”

“My hat?”

“Yes.”

“I ate it because I was hungry.”

“Okay, that’s a doppelganger.”

You press the button right as you hear the doppelganger protest:

“DAMN YOU- LET ME IN!”

Banging on the glass could be heard. You were so glad that it was bulletproof this time around. You could hear his voice morph from human-like to monstrous as you made your call. Now that you thought about it, you have wanted to see what doppelgangers really looked like, and well, that’s what you did: lifting up the cover ever-so-slightly just to get a peek.

The doppelganger has morphed into a beast with sharp claws, his arms long and spider-like, just like the Hoon lady. His teeth were quite sharp and his head now took a slightly more angled shape, his mouth slightly reminiscent of an owl’s hooked beak. You could see the D.D.D. agents shooting at it, his hissing at the pain.

You shut the cover, having seen enough. From what you could hear, it seemed to be significantly weaker than the Hoon Lady, which you were relieved by the quick cleanup. Once the alarms were turned off, the agent confirmed that everything was taken care of. 

“Next,” you said.

A woman came into view. She had long blonde hair, a small rounded nose, freckles, an oval face and thin eyebrows, and she was wearing a red dress accessorized by the pearl necklace and round silver earrings. The only thing that you noticed was… wait- Is her head rotating?

“What’s with your head?” you laughed.

“My head?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“I’m sick.”

You let out a laugh as she continued:

“I have a head flu-rotation.”

You had to compose yourself as you pressed the button, but you still couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of seeing a rotating head. After making the phone call, you then went ahead and waited, hearing no sounds of the doppelganger fighting back. You decided to peek at the scene to see the doppelganger a little saddened by the fact that you laughed at its rotating head. You would’ve felt bad if it was one of those friendly doppelgangers, but seeing as how this one insisted that it was human, you just had to let it die.

After the mess was cleaned up and the D.D.D. Agent confirmed that things were taken care of, you managed to calm down. You then saw him again: Francis… except there was… blood.

“Uhhh, what’s with the blood?” you asked.

“Mmmm, Blood?” he pondered.

You nodded.

“It’s not blood. It’s a new kind of milk. Scarlet Milk.”

“Sure…”

You reached for the button when you heard his voice:

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“Don’t. Just let me in.”

Oh damn, he was leaning against the glass with his arm above his head, the blood getting on it. He had quite a sinful smirk, almost like he knew he would woo you over. Of course, you were warned against being wooed by the Milkman, with quite the emphasis. However, against all reason, your heart wanted to have him. This was when you came up with something so stupid that you’d get killed for it.

“Hey. You do have to leave, but if you promise not to kill or eat me, then I can meet up with you after my shift.”

The doppelganger seemed to be taken aback by the sudden proposition. However, since it was a compromise, he couldn’t help but smile, revealing sharp barracuda-like teeth.

“Of course, my sweets. I’ll leave you to it,” he purred, “can’t wait for later tonight.~”

Curse you and your dirty mind. This could either go really wrong or really kinky, and frankly, you didn’t care which one it was. You watched as the man just walked away, and oh god, you couldn’t help but stare as he looked back with those cursed eyes. Your heart just skipped a beat, and you felt yourself getting a little hot and bothered.

“What the hell was that?” You heard the milkman’s voice.

Oh god. The real Francis asked, now tired and confused.

“What?” you asked.

“You did not just ask out a doppelganger of me,right?”

“Mayyyyyybeeee.”

“Good god, whose turn is it for the funeral? Mmmm, is it mine? That’ll be the third ‘Death by Milkman Doppel’ in a week for crying out loud.”

“Wait- you know about the milkman doppelgangers?”

“Yeah, because those cases have been so common that the D.D.D. is giving the residents these pamphlets!”

He took out a pamphlet, which advertised the dangers of the milkman doppelgangers. You couldn’t help but stare at the pictures, seeing how many of the cropped-out images of the people who died by having a good time before having their insides eaten. You wouldn’t wish that on anyone… but on the other hand, you’d thank the doppelganger.

“Wow. well, if that’s an indicator of anything special,” you muttered, admiring Francis.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

And so, work continued as normal, except you were eager and scared for what’s to come later tonight. You continued with examination and after a while, most of the residents, including the real Francis got in, while other lesser doppelgangers were taken care of.

[ntls-24722]

i finally got to work on mermay

BOOYAH

djmm is based off blue ringed octopi because i am forever mad that these damn beautiful little things will kill me. they will kill me bad. they will kill me dead! why must all the beautiful seathings kill me

there is also this little hermit crab guy that im fond of. he's dripped out. but not as dripped out as the decorator crab MM

there is this,

and there is my dilemma with my persona. I have made him too cool. I am , again, a skinny little dude. I can't live up to this gymbro who preaches about positivity and nontoxic masculinity. from now on i will refer to him as my swagsona.

what else did i draw

OH RIGHT

"Comet learns the consequences of chewing his arm off"

Content warning for: the bloody aftermath of Comet chewing his arm off. Also, youthful Fritz, without a full mustache and his general old man swag. Gross

AKA: the moment where SOS took a sharp turn from being a reasonable FNAF AU to the Gravity Falls Bullshit it is Now

Surprise, the robot has organs! and isn't a robot! Nobody's allowed to work on him so they don't find out about that. Even Comet is surprised about the news - that's what this whole thing is.

Comet, through very unethical methods, has been conditioned to believe he is a robot and to behave like a robot, alongside other protocols to help fulfill his unsavory duty of taking patrons out back and Totally Eating Them (Though, he never remembers this). One of those protocols has been the removal of blood at all costs. Including, and especially so, his own!

Problem: he doesn't know how blood works, or being alive works, since that's the whole purpose of getting conditioned. He got a little cut on his finger behind the stage and, due to this, thought that the reasonable thing to do was to just remove the source of the blood.

So he tore off the finger. And that clearly didn't work, now there's way more blood than there was before, so he chewed his hand in half, then the rest of it, and... now he's bleeding out on the stage floor and half his arm is missing.

Also, the reason why Fritz's face is far more comical than it should be in a serious situation is that, A. For reasons I'll explain later, he's used to the sight of giant monstrosities, and B, He was expecting (and hoping for) a crime scene. He's honestly just confused rather than scared shitless.

He got him help though. Both physically and mentally. Comet has a therapist.

[vilixpran]

my shadow and bone s2 running thoughts

"there's only one bed!" speedrun

sometimes hot people can't act

this is actually.... not good

wow being incognito lasted three minutes

no hesitation to blow your cover

what a kind northern Irish village gentleman

the bitch is back, long live the bitch

show me a 40 year old! not every person alive is 25 and hot

genya's wig... ain't it

all he is is dumb and hot

let the fake Scandinavians mispronounce jail, show me realism

ah yes, we do cool nods at the wall of weapons

the ears are the sign of a good tracker, and mal sure does have two ears

Sea Whip, That Was Easy™️

all tell, no show, that's the way that we go

god inej is fit

total stranger, for now xx

they're just putting their faces close together on purpose

daaaamn these bitches dead and deading others

ah yes, ignite the bombs while you're in the room

pirate ship cult

Nikolai is a dork

how small is this ocean....

kazs PTSD, a running gag

baby girl, you won't "finally eradicate it for good" right now, it's episode three

aah so they fucked

TINY ROLLINS WEE SCOTTISH BAB

"hey babe, expose your knife wound while i trauma dump plot info"

god inej is fit

nina knows

god nina is fit too

*saoirse ronan* "women"

how many times can this man get stabbed in the shoulder? we're up to three

murder is good, murder is chill, i've got no qualms with murder

too many characters, too many plots, disproportionate amount of time spent on the crows and god bless them for that

"hey bro can i propose to your girlfriend bro"

the mood lighting in this plague cemetery, vibes

HORRIBLE FAKE SCANDINAVIAN LANGUAGE, HORRIBLE -10000/10

girlie pop, youve got to lose the signature fancy hat, you are the most recognisable

dat ass

my man is here to be petty and he's bringing friends along for the ride

no plot! only flirting! as we deserve

let them all be lesbians

SPEEDRUN WESPER

episode four and they're already fucking thank Christ

good good wylan and Jesper are off shagging, I can brood in peace

"no"

time isn't real! geography is a myth! our boats will get there when it's convenient for the plot!

we are criminals, rats of the barrel, and occasionally help foreign royals when they ask nicely

"warm, and wet" the crows in Shu han, the gift that keeps on giving

can't believe I have to watch some reylo shit all over again

Dominik Dominik I sense an ex friend with benefits with our man Nikolai

good let the twink talk to butterflies and ignore the suffering of his friends

deforest station

happy to have a himbo in tolya

not so much a slow death by poisoning as a chance for nice life affirming trips to remotivate our heroes in the ninth hour

"throwing up or hallucinations" the only two possible outcomes of poisoning

she's the avatar!

one night stand to soulmates pipeline

ah yes, continue to make out in the background for everyones big character revelations

"you're a part of me mal, I can't loose you" well murder him and eat his bones and he'll be with you forever

boyfriend to organ donor pipeline

star wars levels of hand amputation, now featuring Mother's Good Finger Bones

"and there was only one set!"

yeah like, they definitely used to fuck, surely

twenty minutes of this episode and no crows, for shame

the crows aka Deus ex machina but make it fun flirty and bisexual

more finger amputations, moooooreeeeee

woohoo C plot lesbians

queue the fire benders

little viking boy, drawing crosses in the sand

Matthias villian origin story set up for season three

fun fact, I don't actually want to see another finger amputation

blue skies and sunny yet these bitches can't see a thing

the location scout must have been so proud of themselves for finding this fort, so proud that they spent two episodes having two identical groups chasing each other around three walls

you know what this big battle scene needs? some music

unecessarily squishy icicle stab sound effects

FIVE MORE FINGERS CUT OFF JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

oh damn she actually did it

slaaaayyyy

"series regular" shows up every two episodes for a single scene unrelated to the main plot

why aren't they lighting the kindling from multiple places and especially from lower down?

good for inej

again with the tiny ocean and instantly finding exactly what you were looking for, ofmd logic

uh oh hehe

gross

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 163

Heartache/A Good Man Goes to War

“Heartache”

Plot Description: Sam and Dean investigate a string of unusual murders in which the victims were all recipients of organs from the same donor

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: well, hmm. I wouldn’t be out running alone late at night…..or at all. So, maybe??

I don’t know what it is but this feels like a much older episode

You’re allowed to produce shop, Dean. It’s good for you. Don’t get mad at Sam for wanting fresh, organic apples

This officer HATES Dean lol

I wanna be mad at Dean every time he makes remarks about Sam’s year off, but I’d be the same way

Oh thank god Sam was recording that guy’s babbling. Ah, damn.

How…did Sam just get access to that dude’s medical records??

How did I know they’d reverse the expectation for that next murder. Good for her

I can’t believe we’re back on the Sam wants out of the family business conversation AGAIN

I shouldn’t be…so…at her smearing blood on her face and taking a bite of a human heart

Do we know for sure that Eleanor is his mom though?? Oh. OH. OHHH. The football player drove off the road to end his deal with the Mayan maize god.

And she wasn’t his mom!!! Betsy from the letters IS Eleanor

I can’t tell if she…….DEAN. Anyway. Eleanor and Brick’s story is beautiful and sad and horrifying all at once

I would let her rip out my heart and eat it in front of me

It’s literally so weird that they forgot Sam was there, too. All three focused so much on Dean, and all Sam had to do was bash one of them over the head with a beer bottle?

Oh. Sam’s gonna try to leave again…

“A Good Man Goes to War”

Plot Description: it’s the battle of Demon’s Run, and River Song has something to tell the Doctor

The way Amy and Rory constantly get torn away from each other…

AND the way they keep trying to make us think Amy’s in love with the Doctor ALL THE FUCKING TIME

It’s exhausting

I’m sure these like…space station grunt workers will tie into the grander scheme at some point but I can’t bring myself to care about them…yet…?

Is this the Silurian woman who becomes a…not companion, but frequent ally of the Doctor? (The way my brain went through V names and tried to convince me her name was Vriska as if I’ve even read homestuck) it IS her because that’s Jenny. Jenny, right?? Yes.

Oh to be fighting with laser guns but dressed like you’re in Pride and Prejudice. That’s such a good way to stage a scene

Why DO they even attempt to keep River locked up? Or is it mostly self-imposed out of some sense of penance

Knowing what we eventually find out about River and hearing her tell Rory that it’s her birthday 😭

Ohhhh…the space station grunts are the underlings to the people who kidnapped Amy.

They really made the headless monks Sith Nazgûl huh?

I do like the interspecies lesbians

It’s interesting to think about this episode in contrast to The Pandorica Opens (if that was the first of the Pandorica episodes). We have a lot of the same elements, but now the Doctor has gathered a group of different alien species to do the attacking. It’s kind of no wonder the one grunt talks of him as a dark legend

The pirate crew??????? Hell yeah!

One, the Colonel Run Away speech is powerful but two, you being angry isn’t new, Doc. You can pretend you’re a silly little muppet man all you want but….no

Oh I like that bit of dialogue too “the anger of a good man is not a problem. good men have too many rules” “good men don’t need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many”

Noooooo, after that really touching reunion I’D FORGOTTEN THAT THEY REPLACED MELODY TOO. THAT’S NOT THEIR REAL BABY

I can’t believe he’s putting a time limit on Amy and the Doctor hugging…..

That would be so unbelievably traumatizing. If your newborn child liquified in your arms.

No matter what it is that River says here, no matter how right she is, part of the reason she couldn’t come here til now was because she shouldn’t cross her own time stream