#oh now the greek national anthem is playing

[crispyliza]

What is William Afton doing at the Olympics????

[blue-satellite-430]

Hey humans. Here's some basic background info on my main characters.

Due to the nature of my WIP, some of my main characters are absent from the current plot, and are introduced and explored using full scene flashbacks throughout the story. Jason dies in chapter 3, but his role in the story and the lives of the characters doesn't cease. And Amai goes into a several month long coma as a result of the shooting in chapter 3. The main friend group established before the start of the plot is apart for some time as they're going through shock as well as mourning. (Part of the plot is James trying to get everyone back together.)

James - The protagonist. He suffers from Bipolar 1 and PTSD which developed after he was first on the scene of his mother's suicide. He refuses to medicate or seek professional help for either. He now lives in an affluent neighborhood with his relatively wealthy adopted parents, who pay him a very high allowance he mostly doesn't use. He likes playing the keyboard, writing songs, martial arts, and anime. He speaks fluent English, American Sign Language, and Spanish and is learning Japanese. He can be violently protective of the people he loves.

Jason - James' late best friend and school shooter. He enjoyed watching movies and wanted to go to college for filmmaking. His family began shunning him after he announced he identified as an atheist. This led to a download spiral of depression and years of repressed anger which he kept hidden from his friends. His reasoning for committing his actions go unknown for most of the book.

Allisa - James' friend and love interest for much of the book. She lost her older brother to suicide when she was 12. She and James form a close bond out of this sad likeness they share. She's also fluent in English and Spanish. She loves painting, sketching, manga and anime.

Ariadne - Daughter of a Nigerian mother and Greek father, she grew up speaking Hausa, Greek, and English. She's an overachiever and a bit arrogant. She was selected by her highschool to sing the national anthem before games and pep rallies because of a frankly amazing singing voice. She's bisexual and does get around. (I know promiscuity is a stereotype for bisexual people, but I won't portray it in a negative light. Besides, stereotypes exist for a reason, and I promise it won't be the only representation bisexual people get in the story. I'll do my best to make sure Ariadne's gonna be a really compelling character in her own right.) She loves singing, cheerleading, and people watching.

Amai - She moved from Japan with her family when her father was offered a position teaching botany at the Everglades University. By which point she started going through culture shock and depression after leaving all her friends. She's quiet and reserved most of the time, but acts really silly around her friends. She plans on studying astrophysics in college. She likes nature documentaries, karaoke, and math.

Toby - Toby's an 8th grader in the middle school division of James' school. James recruited him to help record music after he saw him playing violin on the street for money. They became friends over time, and James sees a lot of himself in Toby. Toby lives with his mom in the ghetto, and he's trying to get into a school of the arts before 9th grade. He likes playing the violin and guitar and one day wants to play in a band or orchestra.

Sasha - Sasha's openly trans at school and at home. He's comically short and pale. His family came to the U.S. from Russia before he was born, but since he's always around them, he speaks with an accent. Sasha's very silly and bubbly like a cartoon character. He's the life of the party when he's with people, but he does exhibit symptoms of an undiagnosed mental illness such as self-harm and periods of self-isolation. He frequently switches hobbies, but consistently loves binging TV shows.

Xavier - James met Xavier at his kickboxing gym. He's basically the only one in James' group without mental problems or issues at home. (He's my token sane character.) He's openly bisexual, but closeted pansexual (if that makes sense), and likes play-fighting with James, even though it quickly devolves into James doing that scary laugh he does and getting a bit wild. Xavier's on the football team at James' school and dabbles in mechanical engineering.

Aiyden - James' adopted baby brother. James' adopted parents got Aiyden when he was 4, much to the dismay of our edgy protagonist. He didn't want to expose someone so innocent to how screwed up he was, and that manifested as hostility in the beginning. But over time, James grew to love him and became fiercely protective of him. When Aiyden was 8, he confided in James about realizing he was gay, and being bullied at school for it. He's 8, so I don't wanna make him seem to cerebral, but I was 8 once, and I waa a fucking nerd so fuck it. Aiyden likes mythology and documentaries.

Martha - James' adopted mother. She's a sweet person who comes from a very conservative Christian home and currently works in a real estate firm making mucho dinero. She and James don't get along much at all for a few reasons. She has no respect for James being an atheist (oh btw, James was raised atheist before he was adopted) and is regularly insensitive about his emotional state. James doesn't exactly appreciate her blatant homophobia either.

Tyler - James' adopted father. Tyler is a chef who owns a restaurant in Miami. He teaches James to cook and generally leaves him to his own devices. He had a suffocating childhood, and his approach to parenting is to let the child come to you. It's your job to let them know you're available to talk to, but other than that, leave them be. James would accept the offer, were it not for the fact Tyler can't keep any secrets from his wife to save a life.

And these are my main characters. I'm really enjoying writing the complexities of how they all interact. I've been reading on what having friends is like to better capture the feeling. 😂

[thenightling]

Preemptive Strike: Why Delirium is NOT ableist (because I probably will have to defend her when the Sandman series  comes out)

I have a bad feeling that with posts circulating about Wanda being problematic just because she faced Transphobia, and others calling Cain problematic (he’s supposed to be...)  that I might need to write this in advance.

Little Delirium if The Endless is Not ableist.

Each Endless represents an aspect of sentient life.  There are seven in all. Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Desire, Despair, and little Delirium.  Each represents it’s aspect and the direct opposite.  

Delirium isn’t a character created to mock people with mental illness.  Heavily based on the goddess Mania (from Greek Mythology), in fact that was who she was to the Ancient Greeks, Delirium represents the state of delirium.  Delirium is a disorientation or confusion, often associated with hallucinations and incoherence.  It can come about from some forms of mental illness but it can also be the result of intoxication, lack of sleep, or extreme emotional distress. 

As Delirium represents the state of mental delirium she also represents mental clarity, sobriety, awareness.   Each Endless also represents their own opposite.  Destiny = Free will, Death = Life, Dream = Reality, Destruction = Creation (or the balance that is change), Desire = Hate, Despair = Hope.   Delirium = Awareness.    

Delirium used to be Delight so the implication is thousands of years ago her transformation was the result of some unspoken trauma.   

Delirium is not a cruel character, nor is she a parody.  Her condition treated as comedic. It’s simply how she is.   Delirium, in general, is very kind.   During Sandman: Brief Lives you find all she really wants is to be reunited with a lost sibling, Destruction.

Delirium is possibly the wisest of The Endless even if she might need a little help and guidance of her own from time to time.   

The cruelest thing we’ve ever seen her do is when she cursed a Highway patrol officer to see and feel insects crawling all over himself as punishment for yelling at her, being rude, and as she perceived it, mean.   

Delirium is generally sweet, and she does not like people who are rude, loud, or mistreat women.   

I’m only posting this now because I know that someone, somehow, some way will be offended by her very existence. 

I know there’s a weird motto here on Tumblr that “If you have to defend something as not being ‘ist’ it probably is” but here’s the thing.  I’ve seen too many false “Ableist” comments here on Tumblr.

I am visually impaired.  I have very poor eyesight.  It is considered borderline legally blind.  It’s optic nerve based. (Glasses will not help.)  I can read, can detect color very well.  I just can’t read fine print or see distance very well.  I’m very, very near sighted.   I will never be allowed to drive.  

As a child I dealt with some very real ableism.  In Kindergarten I was allowed on the old rusty jungle gym on the playground but for some reason they thought I would fall off the nice wooden one that all my friends played on.    

A song of  “Three blind (My last name here)” sung by other kids became a thing.   And “Oh, say can (my first name here) See…” (to the National Anthem).  At one point my bookbag was stolen and turned up later with the word “Cyclops” sprawled across it in permanent marker.    THIS is Ableism.

Now for what Tumblr does to the term:  

So when I see Tumblr posts ranting that Daredevil (Matt Murdock) is Ableist for calling Punisher crazy I get a little annoyed.   If a blind man calls another man crazy for killing people that’s NOT the blind man being ableist!  “But… But ‘Crazy is an offensive word!”  Pardon the blind guy, who was being chained up by a serial killer, for not being sensitive enough to gently say “mentally ill” at that exact moment.  

Here on Tumblr I was calling Ableist for saying that Rumplestiltskin (who walks with a limp and a cane) in the TV show Once Upon a Time, has a disability.  The reason?   Apparently it’s because the character smashed his own ankle and since he did it to himself that means the character forfeits the right to be considered as having a disability.  And so it’s Ableist to say he has a disability.  

Neil Gaiman was called Ableist on here for correcting the typo of an antisemite who sent him an anti-Jewish rant, somehow unware that Neil Gaiman is Jewish.   HOW the Hell does it count as ableist to correct the typo of an anti-semite?   It’s not just the disabled who make typos and many (with eyesight problems or dyslexia or even learning disabilities) prefer to be corrected, they don’t want mistakes left alone. It’s embarrassing, more embarrassing than being corrected, for most of us.

Guillermo del Toro was called ableist for having the mute character in The Shape of Water end up with the aquatic man (even though he turns out to be a God…)

He was also called ableist for not casting a real deaf girl in the role, even though the character is mute, not deaf, and finding a mute actress who can dance, swim, and has no modern accoutrements to compensate, uses ASL (American Sign language specifically), and fits the physical body type Guillermo del Toro wanted, is pretty rare.  And I have yet to come across an actual mute person complain about this.  Just able-bodied people bitching in self-righteousness on behalf of those who never asked for it and often LIKE the movie.

“But the disabled girl ended up with a monster!”  No, the woman with a disability ended up with a God.   She had no interest in human men.  And it had nothing to do with her disability.    

My point is when you throw around the term this loosely (and it’s usually perfectly able bodied people doing it, thinking they’re doing a favor to those with disabilities) the term starts to get diminished and lose meaning.

So I sincerely HOPE we won’t get “Delirium is ableist!” complaints when the Sandman series starts but I know this site too well at this point…

[romancevsreality-blog]

the bachelorette, season fourteen, episode one: i have opinions on greek yogurt

So they had to go and start this season by salting the wound of Becca and Arby’s breakup, didn’t they?

Welcome back to Romance vs. Reality, I’m your lead and only blogger, Amanda. Kill me now, we’re here for the fourteenth go-around of La Bachelorette, a carousel made up of social media participants and erectile dysfunction specialists. Our princess this season is Becca Kufrin, a last name I struggle with for no specific reason other than I just feel like I’m emphasizing the wrong syllable. Coming after Rachel, The First Black Bachelorette and Resident Queen Regnant of this blog1, and her, well, disaster of a season, I’m terrified.

I’m going to do a full analysis of our Mantestants later on, but I’ll put it frankly: I am not excited. I am newly single, and man. Pickings are slim out there. It’s dangerous waters, y’all. And I live in a city of like, seven million people. I can understand now why people find the first person they can in high school and piss on their legs for forty years2. Becca, however, dodged a bullet in this case, because Arby remains and always will be human trash. Oscar the Grouch literally lives in a trash can and is looking to get rehomed because of the association, maybe somewhere not on Sesame Street.

Arby’s legacy has impacted Sesame Street. And Oscar the Grouch is notorious for loving trash. I mean... same? But I do not love Arby. Arby is the human embodiment of Garbage Island, the island that is floating in the Pacific Ocean, collecting all of our plastic bottles and general other garbage and polluting our waters. Honestly to call Arby garbage isn’t ruthless enough. It doesn’t get the point across. Even calling him Arby, a restaurant that probably doesn’t deserve such a harsh association, feels cruel.

Arby is rubbish.

I mean, I know a lot of things about myself, but:

And Arby is the Standard of Trash To Which I Now Hold All Men. I will be ranking the men this season on the Rubbish Arby Scale.

Note: I am not even a full minute into the episodea, and I have a lot of feelings.

We have to relive the torturous final moments of Becca and Rubbish Arby’s relationship again, because ABC is basically going to milk this moment for everything it’s worth. We see Becca walking through some snow, searching for her future or whatever metaphor the powers that be are going after this season. She thought she had found her future, but nope! That future is off getting married to the human embodiment of an unflavored Fage Yogurt3. Becca is ready to find love because her parents were in love until her dad’s untimely death and guess what? It’s her turn now.

My favorite part of every season is the girls who are like, “I can’t believe I’m The Bachelorette? All I had to do was unleash a ton of my personal trauma on national television and ABC will pay me to wear sequin dresses and shank dudes’ hearts now!” I do love that Arby is actually banned from Minnesota, though. I mean, I don’t think he’s running to go to Minnesota any time soon, but the fewer options Arby has to spread his rubbish sludge, the better. We see Becca go through her Bachelorette Photoshoot4 and show how she’s a Strong Woman in both demeanor and physical strength at a acrobatic silks class.

I’m tentative.

Becca arrives at The Bachelor Mansion, where our three past Bachelorettes, all engaged but none married, are waiting for her with mimosas. Honestly, I would like to hang out with these three girls. Rachel and I could just... you know, be black together and I would ask Joelle about home design and Kaitlyn and I could dance. Tag me in, Becca. TAG ME IN. Rachel tells Arby to go fuck himself and basically is a queen the entire time. They all rave about the experience and how great it was for all of them - take away the fantasy and really consider real life. Rachel and Joelle talk about the fact that the women have a better track record on The Bachelorette (true) because they approach the situation with more nuance than the men do. And that’s true. To me, the men of The Bachelor are looking for someone to project their dreams onto, and the women are approaching it with a real sense of opportunity.

Rachel proceeds to sage the entire mansion, Becca’s ring finger, her vagina, and they’re never going to get rid of the stench of toxic masculinity, Axe body spray, and desperation. That’ll be there forever. That's in the fibers of the couches.

Okay, let’s talk about Becca’s first night dress. I know people are divided on it, but I think it’s a banger, okay? I mean, I wish it wasn’t ivory, but the all overbeadwork and the art-deco style is gorgeous. I also love the neckline, because Becca has great shoulders. The pairing of that with those dramatic teardrop earrings was stunning. It sparkles in the light, it’s a dress meant to be on television, not caught in a still shot.

LET’S MEET THE MEAT, SHALL WE?

First up is Clay, who is 30, and is a pro football player. Great, because now I have to worry about you getting CTE and argue with you about standing for the national anthem? Oh, Clay played for Detroit, though. I can’t be mad at him. Also, CLAY IS A DREAMBOAT. We see him at dinner with his family and his cute grandma. Clay is there For Becca, for sure.

We met Garrett, who starts with a Chris Farley impression. In 2018. A Chris. Farley. Impression. Chris Farley’s corpse is turning over and over and over in his grave. Oh my god, of course Garrett is from Reno. Reno gives me such Second City vibes. Not like the improv group, but like, the city you go to when you don’t have anywhere else to go, like Cincinnati or Tallahassee. Garrett is active because of course, but he wants a companion to do outsidey things with.

Oh god, we meet Jordan, who is 26, and a professional model. I already am going to safely call him this season’s Robb(ie). Jordan is the kind of guy who’s hot in certain lights but then other times you’re like “man, give some chin to other people!” He has a lot of chin, and his meticuliously carved “scruff” isn’t helping matters much. Oh god. Jordan starts out talking about his Brand, a phrase I only say ironically. I am literally shaking with rage. Jordan’s an unironic Derek Zoolander. He considers having to be tan and using salt spray to be “taxing”. He’s excited for once to finally be focusing on someone else for a change, and all he wants to do is sit on a couch with a box of chocolates with Becca in sweatpants and watch a chick flick. Jordan claims a lot of models don’t do that.

Someone want to notify Jordan that a good number of male models are gay men who would definitely do that? Anyone?

Next up is Lincoln, who we’ve already met on After The Final Rose. Lincoln is from Nigeria and he’s #blessed to be in the United States. He’s ready to get married and ready to settle down. That’s all. Boring. Joe From Chicago owns a grocery store, and as soon as this comes out of his mouth I’m in love with him. My full on Type is Man from Chicago Who Owns A Grocery Store. Joe’s ready to settle down and knows when he finds the right one, he’ll know.

Jean-Blanc comes on screen and I can hear my mom yelling “THIS IS YOUR HUSBAND AMANDA” from the six-hundred-something miles away that she is. Jean-Blanc collects “accoutrements”, and oh my god, my mom might be right. Jean-Blanc likes stuff. Watches, ties, cologne, all the extra shit no one really needs but it’s nice to have. I mean, I hate wearing perfume, but if a man can find a blend that works for him and isn’t overpowering? Great. Dope. Totally down. We see him opening Viktor & Rolf’s Spice Bomb, a Curve cologne??? And others from the Checkout Aisle From Marshalls and TJMaxx Collection. He’s going to “blow her nose away”, a phrase I’m shocked Jordan didn’t use because you knnnnnnoooow Jordan loves a little nose candy. Sorry, it’s true.

Colton is another football player so this season is full of men with experience getting concussions. Also, can we stop making men named Colton football players? Colton got injured in his last season, so he decided to give up football forever and now runs a charity to change the lives of cystic fibrosis sufferers. Okay, I can’t even talk shit. Damn charity.

Becca heads in the limo to meet Chris Harrison and the 29 other garbage men that will create the Advent Calendar of Regret that is The Bachelorette. Chris Harrison is on screen for the perfect amunt of time - like, thirty seconds, before our first limo full of mediocrity arrives. First out? Charitable Colton, who is firmly placed in the top two, officially. He wants to celebrate Becca being bachelorette and brought confetti poppers, which is actually not the worst initial interaction for these two people to have. It’s actually... cute?

God, help me.

We meet Grant, who both tells Becca he respects her for what she’s gone through but also wants her to forget all of it - way to help with THAT, Grrrrrant. Clay comes out and talks about football and makes a football pun and is cute and everything. Jean Blanc has a French name and teaches Becca some French, which is a mess. Of course, he has her translate “Let’s do the damn thing”, and god I hope it’s the last time we hear that this season, but that’s not true. Connor is a fitness coach and gets down on one knee in front of Becca. Don’t retrigger the girl.

Oh god, not even two mintes after I said I never wanted to hear “let’s do the damn thing”, here comes Connor with it all over again. God damn this show.

Another limo arrives and out comes Joe From Chicago Who Owns A Grocery. He immediately forgets what he has to say as soon as he sees Becca and JOE I WILL TAKE YOU. John walks the wrong way into the house, and Leo arrives looking like he was trying to do a Miss Geist from Clueless costume and forgot to do his hair before leaving the house. It is not a good look, I literally slid to the ground and cackled when he came out5. He proceeds to take his hair down and swish it around like he’s fucking Fabio.

Jordan comes out of the limo and Becca says hi, and he doesn’t respond. Because that is the kind of person Jordan is. He’s the kind of man who wants to say hello first. Jordan wasn’t expecting Becca to be wearing ivory, which is just a weird thing to say. His shoes are loud as fuck, too. Jordan spent six hours on his outfit and is like, “I’m wearing a grey suit, it’s daring.”

No, Obama wearing a khaki suit is daring. Klein Epstein and & Parker Suits are daring. A heather grey suit with a blue tie is like putting a jalapeno in your guacamole. You’re not exactly living on the edge.

Nick arrives dressed like a racecar driver because only assholes wear outfits like that. Nick is... god, I can’t figure out if Nick is hot or not. I do appreciate Leo being ike, “yeah, reminding this girl of her ex? NOT A GOOD LOOK.”

So of course Mike, the other long-haired dude with a fucking man bun in god damn 2018, comes in with a cardboard cut-out of Becca’s ex. STOP TRIGGERING THIS WOMAN. That isn’t charming, that’s weird. I didn’t look up my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends until like, a solid year into our relationship. I mean, it wasn’t the same way on his end6 but I think if I were to lead this show I’d specifically ask them NOT to mention my ex, if possible. Like, at all.

Garrett arrives in a minivan, and it’s full of soccer balls and a baby bag and he’s just trying to set the correct tone. I literally sat grimacing the entire time he was on screen. I hate Garrett already.

My second favorite part of the season premiere is the men being like “wow, there’s a lot of dudes here”. What did y’all expect?

Blake arrives on an... ox? After already meeting Becca with a horse at After The Final Rose? Becca’s right in wondering where he’s getting all of these animals from. I feel bad for the poor intern that needs to take care of Blake’s animals. Lincoln, the other guy who met Becca at After the Final Rose, and he brought Becca cake. Lincoln and Blake are both feeling confident because they’ve already met her before. We see a bunch of other dudes we’ve met before - Darius, Chase, Banjoist Ryan. The 24 other guys are intimidated because clearly they have some sort of leg up in the competition because they’ve been with her for ten seconds four months ago. I’m sure Darva Conger would agree with them that this is a solid grounding to form bonds over. It ended so well for her.

They basically show all the black guys back to back and a bunch of other nonfactors meeting Becca.

And then there’s Kamil, who is wearing sneakers with his suit and his job is “social media participant” which is effectively like putting “Air Breather” as your job in 2018. He only walks halfway to Becca and makes her come the other half to meet him, and then moves back further and is like “yeah, what about 60/40?” And honestly, this is the best depiction of heterosexual dating in 2018 I’ve ever seen and Kamil is literally telling Becca Who He Is in their initial interaction. 60/40, my ass. Becca is unamused by this and tries to turn it around on him, and he won’t engage.

Ya donzo, Social Media Participant.

Jake shows up, and Becca knows who he is. He’s an acquaintance and she’s confused because... Oh, okay? That’s super weird. I totally get why that’s weird. Production comes in with morbid music as a hearse drives up. Trent pops out and says he literally died when he found out Becca was Bachelorette, and I cackled. I can’t help it. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever witnessed.

Jordan is here to show off his sartorial choices and doesn’t understand the other shlubs who showed up. I hate that I kind of agree with him? But then again, I intend my wedding attire to be Elevated Black Tie. I want the men to show up in basically butler’s uniforms and the women to look like Lady Gaga. Just put a little more effort in - Becca’s standing there in a backless beaded gown, the least you can do is put on a god damn tie.

Oh, of course someone comes in in a chicken suit. David is both a chicken and a venture capitalist, which is my least favorite thing. He has to wear that suit all night long. Jordan is #unamused, which is hilarious. I do appreciate the “bekaw/Becca” wordplay. Chris arrives with a fucking choir who sings about getting a rose, and I’m just... Okay. This would be teeeeewwwww much for me.

Okay, we’ve got twenty-eight men. And none of them are winners. Good LUCK, Becca. Becca makes her first toast, and immediately Connor is the first one to whisk her away. The guys are genuinely shocked but y’all, that’s how the game is PLAYED. He opens a bottle of champagne with a kitchen knife, and it’s impressive, but not a saber like is to be expected or standard. Color me unimpressed, Connor.7 Clay and Becca play with Clay, and I love that. I mean, who doesn’t love adults playing with play-doh? Clay is from a small town and talks about his values and how they grew from growing up where he did. He talks about how excited he was to meet her, and I smile. Clay is too good for this show.

ONE OF THE DUDES MADE THE APP FOR VENMO AND WHAT IS HE DOING HERE? DAMN, ABC.

Chris uses the fact that his grandparents got married after two months and have been together almost 60 years to get Becca to believe that Chris is all about this. Chris looks far too much like Perez Hilton for my liking and just for that, I hate him with a firey passion.8 Christon is a former Harlem Globetrotter and so he’s gonna show her how he can dunk a ball from her own hands. He DUNKED Becca, jumping OVER her head, and it...

It’s actually marvelous. Like, damn. I mean, he’s a Harlem Globetrotter. He better be able to dunk on command.

Blake and Becca are on the same page, which is shocking because Blake is basically dressed like Hugh Hefner. Chris Harrison comes in, drops off the First Impression Rose, and walks out to go put his pajamas back on. All the guys are immediately shooketh by it.

Lincoln brought Becca a bracelet from Nigeria, and we get a montage of the stunts these guys are pulling to impress Becca. David the Chicken Venture Capitalist leads Becca in the chicken dance and we’re supposed to be impressed by him becuase he’s literally in a chicken suit but he has a Serious Career.

We get to watch the Anxiety Set In for the men who haven’t had a chance to talk to Becca yet, especially Jordan. He pretends like it doesn’t bother him, he’s just playing it cool, but come on. Garrett shows Becca how to fish, and if a dude did this to me, I’d yawn. Garrett reminds Becca of home, of her dad, and she thinks he’d totally fit in with her family. Oh no.

Chris / Perez Hilton / Ben Stiller in Dodgeball has realized someone is There For the Wrong Reasons. Chase, who met Becca on After the Final Rose, is suspected by Chris. I’m suspicious of both of them simply because they’re both from Orlando, Florida unapologetically. Chris knows Chase’s ex-girlfriend and apparently she told Chris that he’s just there for publicity. They all think Chris needs to confront Chase. I can’t tell you who told him this because we’re still at the point of the season where all the men kind of look the same. I think it’s Christon and Blake, but I’m not sure.

The drama has already begun. I'm sad it's not someone getting black out drunk like it usually is.

Chris takes Chase aside to tell him what the deal is, and Chase of course denies all of this. I mean, what’s he going to do, stand there and admit do it? He confirms he’s there for the Right Reasons, and he’s there for Becca. My favorite is that he admits to have been watching this show for years with his mom, so of COURSE he’s NOT THERE FOR FAME. I don’t understand this thought process as a defense.

Chase immediately runs to Becca to tattle on Chris for being skeptical. Chase, who looks perpetually constipated, never found out what this girl told Chris, but he’s vehemently denying whatever it is and isn’t That Guy, whatever guy his ex he only dated for a month told Chris he was. Like damn, Chase. You musta done something. Becca doesn’t really know what to do with any of that information because Chase is leaving out the part where he’s the asshole.

Chase goes and grabs Chris (????) because they’re settling the drama right then and there. Chase denies ever dating this girl with any kind of seriousness and they’re both... gross. Becca clearly doesn’t know what to do because the story doesn’t add up. If it was two years ago and someone he only a dated a month, what’s the issue at hand? It’s so weird. Becca is as turned off as I am, and this mostly reminds her of someone she met earlier that she was turned off by initially.

She comes to get Jake, because his intentions are watery at best. They have the same group of friends back in Minnesota but have never interacted, and so it’s super weird that he showed up here trying to date her. Like, dude, you actually had a chance before to at least try to. Becca doesn’t think he showed her any interest in the previous times they’ve met, and Jake doesn’t remember meeting her more than one time. He remembers one time they met, but not... multiple times.

I scoffed so hard a little bit of phlegm came out. TMI, I know. But still.

Jake is excited to be there and get to know her, but Becca isn’t on board, and rightfully so. I’ve had people meet me multiple times and have zero recollection and I’m offended. Here comes Jake, having met Becca multiple times and admittingly having no recollection of doing so, coming onto this show to try to date her? Really? When in real life he never tried to in the first place? Most people aren’t as transparent as Jake is with their intentions, but it’s so clear that Jake thought he’d be able to parlay the fact that they knew each other before into a relationship.

But if we’ve met before and you didn’t show any interest then, how am I expected to take you seriously now that we’re on TV? Becca all but says as much but tells him she knows what it feels like to have someone question her relationship with them and she’s not going to do that again. Jake tries to be like “but what about meEEEEEEE and MY FEELINGS” and Becca shuts that shit right down because she is not here for his whataboutism. Neither of them did anything when they met before, and it’s not about who did what in this scenario. She’s holding the god damn key and him coming on this show in the first place was fucked up. She doesn’t want to waste his time and knows she doesn’t see a future with him. She’s sending him home ASAP.

He tells her that he’s not the same person she met at some mysterious Christmas Party and has had a “transformative year” - uh you’re telling this to the woman who got dumped on national television, your transformation is nothing compared to hers - and he’s a different person. He thinks if they met again, it would have a different result. I’m sure it would, Jake, but you lost your chance. Sorry. He says he respects how she feels and he’s going home.

Jake was one of the most attractive men there, but man, this was G R O S S.

Becca announces to the men that Jake is going home first, and they’re all terrified.

There is a grown ass man with an “expecto patronus” Harry Potter tattoo, and yeah, he’s got some nonsense “it’s different in Latin” translation, but I’m just happy the black guy doesn’t have a Death Eater tattoo8. Colton talks about his charity, and the First Impression Rose is still there.

But not for long, because here comes Becca to grab it and offer it to...

Garrett.

All the guys are visibly gutted. I don’t know why, the best thing about Garrett is his tie. I love a pink and blue tie. He gets the first kiss of the season, too. Garrett’s thrilled.

Back inside, Chris Harrison has changed back into his suit for about ten minutes to gather Becca before the first Rose Ceremony. At this point, I also see a guy who I haven’t seen thus far, and went “PHOARRRRRRRR” because he was so hot. WHO ARE YOU, ANONYMOUS HOTTIE? I love that Jordan’s like, “It wouldn’t be fair to Becca if I didn’t get a rose tonight.” I’m on my third season of saying this, but I love when the contestants think their feelings matter at all in this scenario.

The Rose Ceremony begins.

Lincoln, Blake, Rickey, Jean-Blanc, Christon, Clay, Wills, Connor, Jason, John, Ryan9, Alex, Nick, Trent, Colton, David The Chicken Venture Capitalist, Jordan, Leo, Mike, and Chris all accept roses.

That means Chris’s plan to get rid of Chase worked. Which it never does. On The Bachelorette, The Messenger usually gets shot.

Bye to Chase, Christian, Darius, Grant, Joe, and Kamil, all to face the cold light of day. Y’all stayed up all night for this.

BUT NOOOOOOOO, NOT GROCERY STORE JOE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’ll keep you warm in those Chicago winters, Joe. Now that My (ex)-boyfriend Wells is dating someone far more famous than I am, I’m in the market. Call me.

This Season, on The Bachelorette: This season isn’t the most dramatic ever, according to Chris Harrison. This time, it’s an adventure. Lots of beach kissing! All the guys are like “Arby’s dumb for losing this girl.” Colton, Jean Blanc, and Nick all tell Becca they’re in love with her. And then - TEARS. LOTS OF THEM. Someone did to Becca what Arby did, and whoever it is, I AM COMING FOR YOUR EDGES. Lincoln is a liar and a manipulator? Jordan, who is clearly there to boost his modeling career, takes it very personally for people to attack his character on television. That… doesn’t help with people thinking you’re just there to boost your modeling career, Jordan. Colton, of course, is a virgin, and apparently this may or may not be a lie? Who lies about something like that? Becca’s pissed. She just wants honesty from these fuckboys, and girl, you better have stocked up in fuckboy repellent. All she wants is their honesty from here on out. And then someone’s getting taken off in an ambulance. But it’s all going to end in an engagement that has allegedly already been spoiled by TMZ/the Powers that Be at ABC trying to scoop Reality Steve, so that’s what we have to look forward to.

See you next week! It’s great to be back.

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

Becca is only a year older than I am, and this is really sending me spiraling. I know we’ve had girls younger than I am on this show, but I never really contextualized that until I saw 1990 next to Becca’s name. I am so OLD.

This season’s batch of men makes me never want to be The Second Black Bachelorette™. If these are the best options, I’ll barf.

I know she’ll be on Paradise because come on no brainer, but man - I am so happy The Bachelorette is not Tia. Oh man, am I happy it’s not Tia.

I know everyone talks about how amazing Joelle’s hair is, but Becca. Gorgeous hair.

How tall is Becca? She looks like she’s my height.

Jordan is going to be this season’s Chad. At least we’re going back to the Douchebag Villain and not the Racist Villain again.

I really loved that all the guys were like “if the guy in a chicken suit gets a rose over me, life means nothing.” Oh, to have never struggled a day in your life.

Jordan, are you really a fashion model if you’re from Crystal Ocean Spray, Florida?

All of these men look like 90s Teen Film Villains. Like, this is a cast of Andrew Keegans and Paul Walkers.

Elizabeth who? ↩︎

I mean, kind of? No, I don’t. I really don’t. Can someone explain this to me? I feel like that’s resigning yourself to a lifetime of mediocre sex because you haven’t experienced anything else. ↩︎

I went with Fage because Bobby Flay, the whitest man I can think of, was their brand representative for a moment. Why is Bobby Flay the whitest man I can think of? He has a show where he literally competes with people to prove he’s good. I don’t need that, I literally have MY LIFE. ↩︎

Things that are interesting to only me: after two years of having the lead on a white background in a red dress (Joelle and Rachel), they’re back to the metallic-colored sequin dress (Kaitlyn and Andi), but Becca’s on a grey background. Both Emily and Desiree had what honestly looks like satin prom dresses from JCPenney. This matters to literally no one else.  ↩︎

The least surprising thing about Leo is that he’s a stuntman. Of course he is. Stuntmen either look like him or look like... well, what I imagine Joe From Chicago Who Owns A Grocery Store’s uncles probably look like. ↩︎

boundaries.

↩︎

Some other guy who is a real estate agent is like, “you never buy the first house,” which reminds us this show is doing really good things for gender progress in America. (/s) ↩︎

Seriously, has anyone with a Death Eater tattoo realized they’re just telling the entire world they’d be a proud racist wizard? ↩︎ ↩︎

RYAN IS MY SECRET MYSTERY HOTTIE, OMG. I forgive his banjo playing, it’s not like he’s in Mumford & Sons. ↩︎

[fluffyjihun]

The Music tag

Thank you bean for tagging me @keunakool imma finally starting to comeback haha so you dont have to worry anymore

rules: just add 5 questions of your own if you wanna lol

1. who is your favourite artist right now? - IU, I cannot stop listening to her new album. Everything about her recent albums has been amazing. I love the lyrics to her songs and the style and just sdbawhjb. Also LEE DAEHWI

2. who is your favourite artist of all times? -  ummmm not quite sure. Michael Jackson, Imagine Dragons, and μ’s are all very high tho

3. genre you absolutely despise? - I don’t have any I despise. Though, I say I don’t enjoy hard hip hop/rap but like you’ll see over in the corner bopping hard when you put it on

4. genre you love? - Classical, Pop, Rock, Modern Classical, R&B, Soul, and many more

5. first song you learned by heart? - I can’t remember cause when I was a kid I used to pick up on lyrics to a song very quickly. Like when i was 3 I knew all the words to Crabbuckit by k-os

6. first song you learned by heart in foreign language? - Does the Greek national anthem count??

7. your favourite lyrics? - oh god, ummmmm idkkkk

8. favourite song? - currently, im jamming to one step, two steps oh my girl, everything iu has done, Remember apink, and she’s a baby by zico

9. what does music mean to you? (don’t be afraid to write a full essay if you wanna lol) - music has been apart of my entire life. it’s one of the biggest aspects that defines who i am. majority of the sports i play include music, like figure skating and dance. ive played multiple music instruments ever since i was very young, which are piano, violin, trumpet, guitar, and recorder. music connected me with my best friends. without music, kpop specifically, i wouldnt be friends with one of my best friends, and with two of my others music just made our relationship much stronger. even this year the two newest close friends ive made has been because of music. one being @keunakool who is very dear to me. music is my main source of escape from everyone and everything. music never fails to make me feel peaceful, happy, and energized. i literally cannot imagine my life without music. 

imma tag @knkruinedmylife @omgkth @756cm @kimyumbin @knockinknk @henmi @knkinky

[damajority]

DaMajority Fresh Article https://www.damajority.com/charlie-puth-unveils-voicenotes-tour/

Charlie Puth Unveils "The Voicenotes Tour"

Charlie Puth Unveils “The Voicenotes Tour”

WORLDWIDE POP SUPERSTAR ANNOUNCES BIGGEST EVER HEADLINE TREK WITH SPECIAL GUEST HAILEE STEINFELD

TICKETS ON SALE TO GENERAL PUBLIC DECEMBER 22 AT LIVENATION.COM; NORTH AMERICAN RUN BEGINS JULY 11

PUTH’S CURRENT SINGLE “HOW LONG” PROVES ANOTHER INTERNATIONAL SMASH WITH LIVE PERFORMANCES SET FOR TOMORROW NIGHT’S SEASON FINALE OF NBC’S “THE VOICE” AND “DICK CLARK’S NEW YEAR’S ROCKIN’ EVE 2018” ON DECEMBER 31ST

HUGELY ANTICIPATED NEW ALBUM “VOICENOTES” DUE NEXT YEAR

LOS ANGELES, Dec. 18, 2017 — Multi-Platinum artist/musician/producer Charlie Puth has announced plans for his biggest North American headline tour to date. Produced by Live Nation, “The Voicenotes Tour” officially gets underway July 11 at Toronto, ON’s Budweiser Stage and travels the continent through the summer (see attached itinerary). Highlights include dates at New York City’s world-famous Radio City Music Hall (July 16) and the renowned Greek Theatre in Los Angeles (August 14). Multi-Platinum recording artist Hailee Steinfeld will be main support on all dates. Pre-sales begin Tuesday, December 19; tickets will go on sale to the general public starting Friday, December 22. For complete details, and ticket information, please visit www.charlieputh.com/tour or LiveNation.com.

Citi® is the official presale credit card for “The Voicenotes Tour.”  As such, Citi® cardmembers have access to purchase U.S. presale tickets, which are available beginning Tuesday, December 19 at 10am local time until Thursday, December 21st at 10pm local time through Citi’s Private Pass® program. For complete presale details visit www.citiprivatepass.com.

“The Voicenotes Tour” will celebrate Puth’s hugely anticipated new album, “VOICENOTES,” due next year from Atlantic Records – pre-orders are available now HERE. The album is preceded by the current smash single, “How Long,” available now at all DSPs and streaming services HERE. Now with close to 300 million streams worldwide, the single has proven yet another popular favorite both here and abroad, reaching #1 on innumerable iTunes “Global Singles” charts and Mexico’s “Ingles Airplay” while earning both gold certification in Australia and silver certification in the United Kingdom. Named by Vanity Fair as one of “The 17 Best Pop Songs of 2017,” “How Long” is joined by an even more popular companion visual, currently boasting over 160 million views via YouTube alone – HERE

“The Voicenotes Tour” special guest and Republic Records recording artist Hailee Steinfeld has quickly cemented herself as a rising force in pop music with a series of hits under her belt, including her 2015 platinum certified debut single “Love Myself,” double platinum selling smash “Starving” with Grey [feat. Zedd] and platinum selling summer anthem “Most Girls.”  To date, the multi-platinum selling artist has amassed a total of nearly 2 billion streams globally. This year, Steinfeld won “Best Push Artist” at the MTV EMAs, Musical.ly‘s “Top Covered Artist” award at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards and was honored by Variety with the “Crossover Artist” award at their inaugural Hitmakers event. She also garnered three Teen Choice Award nominations for her work in both film and music.Most recently, Steinfeld released her new single “Let Me Go.”  Produced by Grammy-nominated DJ and producer Alesso and critically-acclaimed producer, songwriter and artist watt, “Let Me Go” pairs Steinfeld with one of country music’s best-selling acts, Florida Georgia Line.  Performed for the first time ever on this year’s American Music Awards, the song has amassed 150 million streams on Spotify where it is currently Top 20 on their Global Top 50 chart and climbing.

Puth marked the release of “How Long” with high-profile TV performances on CBS’ The Late Late Show With James Corden (watch HERE) and ABC’s Good Morning America (watch HERE), soon to be followed by an eagerly anticipated performance on tomorrow night’s season finale of NBC’s The Voice. He’ll then perform both “How Long” and “Attention” on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve 2018, to be broadcast live on ABC on December 31st (check local listings). In addition, Puth will perform “How Long” on upcoming episodes of the nationally syndicated Ellen DeGeneres Show and CBS’ The Talk, both set to air in early January.

“How Long” arrived hot on the heels of Puth’s summer’s blockbuster, “Attention,” available at all DSPs and streaming services HERE. The RIAA platinum certified single – which marked Puth’s first new music since 2016’s RIAA platinum certified debut album, “NINE TRACK MIND” – reached #5 on Billboard‘s “Hot 100,” his third consecutive top 10 hit and highest charting solo track to date. What’s more, “Attention” topped the multi-format “Radio Songs” chart for four straight weeks while also ascending to the #1 spot on Billboard’s “Dance Mix Show Airplay” tally – Puth’s first time atop that chart as a solo artist. “Attention” also proved an international favorite, reaching #1 in such far-flung lands as Russia, Venezuela, Ukraine, Israel, Latvia, and Mexico, while earning diamond certification in France, 3x platinum in Australiaand Italy, 2x platinum in Spain, and platinum in Belgium, Denmark, Germany, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom. Of course, the “Attention” companion visual – directed by Emil Nava (Ed Sheeran, Calvin Harris Feat. Rihanna) – proved yet another record-shattering video sensation for Puth, now with over 638 million YouTube views and counting – HERE.

Hailed around the world as an energetic and electrifying live performer, Puth has spent much of the early winter stealing the show on the just-concluded iHeartRadio Jingle Ball tour. Puth received ecstatic notices for his show-stopping performances on the annual multi-artist holiday trek, with Pennsylvania’s The Morning Call enthusing, “(Puth) condensed his best material into an offering that showed just how good he is, and the growth he’s undergoing…’Attention,’ which has more of an R&B groove than his previous hits, shows he is moving from a Billy Joel-piano-rocker to more of a Timberlake vibe… ‘One Call Away’ had the whole crowd singing – because it’s good and catchy… And, of course, his closing song ‘See You Again,’ his 9x platinum hit from 2015, will be Puth’s forever can’t-miss song. Its opening still brings chills, and its choral ending still has power.” Puth “put across genuine charm and daffy enthusiasm,” raved the Los Angeles Times while Billboard applauded his “surprisingly raw performance” of hits including “Attention” and “See You Again.” “The piano-playing crooner Charlie Puth provided a few more plot twists,” declared the New York Times, “his songs refused the blandishments of an ex who only wanted ‘Attention’ and tried desperately to apologize for straying in ‘How Long.'”

Along with his worldwide popularity, Puth is among the most honored new artists in recent memory, among his many accolades a Teen Choice Award, two Billboard Music Awards, a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award, and myriad nominations including a GRAMMY® nod for “Song of the Year” and a prestigious Golden Globe nomination for “Best Original Song.”

A gifted and charismatic live performer, Puth has proven a hugely popular concert attraction, with 2016’s “Nine Track Mind Tour” selling out nearly every date within 30 minutes of its announcement. As if that weren’t enough, Puth has made any number of show-stopping TV appearances, including FOX’s 2016 Teen Choice Awards, NBC’s TODAY and The Voice, CBS’ The Late Late Show with James Corden, ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live! and 2015 American Music Awards, and both the nationally syndicated Ellen DeGeneres Show and LIVE with Kelly and Michael, not to mention a guest cameo on CBS’ highly rated Life In Pieces.

For news, music, and additional information, please visit www.charlieputh.com, www.facebook.com/charlieputh, twitter.com/charlieputh, instagram.com/charlieputh, www.youtube.com/user/CharliesVlogs, charlieputh.tumblr.com, and www.atlanticrecords.com.

About Live Nation Entertainment Live Nation Entertainment (NYSE: LYV) is the world’s leading live entertainment company comprised of global market leaders: Ticketmaster, Live Nation Concerts, and Live Nation Media & Sponsorship. For additional information, visit www.livenationentertainment.com.

CHARLIE PUTH THE VOICENOTES TOUR 2018 HAILEE STEINFELD TO OPEN ALL DATES

JULY 11 – Toronto, ON – Budweiser Stage 13 – Boston, MA – Blue Hills Bank Pavilion 16 – New York, NY – Radio City Music Hall 19 – Uncasville, CT – Mohegan Sun 21 – Gilford, NH – Bank of New Hampshire Pavilion 22 – Saratoga Springs, NY – Saratoga Performing Arts Center 24 – Camden, NJ – BB&T Pavilion 25 – Vienna, VA – Wolf Trap Center For The Performing Arts 27 – Charlotte, NC – PNC Music Pavilion 28 – Raleigh, NC – Coastal Credit Union Music Park @ Walnut Creek Amphitheatre 31 – Chicago, IL – Huntington Bank Pavilion

AUGUST 2 – Clarkston, MI – DTE Energy Music Theatre 3 – Cincinnati, OH – Riverbend Music Center 5 – Noblesville, IN – Ruoff Home Mortgage Music Center 6 – Maryland Heights, MO – Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre 8 – St. Paul, MN – Xcel Energy Center 9 – Kansas City, MO – Starlight Theatre 11 – Albuquerque, NM – Isleta Amphitheater 12 – Las Vegas, NV – The Pearl Concert Theater 14 – Los Angeles, CA – Greek Theatre 15 – Irvine, CA – FivePoint Amphitheatre 17 – Mountain View, CA – Shoreline Amphitheatre 18 – Stateline, NV – Lake Tahoe Harvey’s Outdoor Arena 20 – Chula Vista, CA – Mattress Firm Amphitheatre 21 – Phoenix, AZ – Ak-Chin Pavilion 23 – Irving, TX – The Pavilion @ Irving Music Factory 24 – The Woodlands, TX – Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion 26 – Rogers, AR – Walmart Arkansas Music Pavilion 28 – Nashville, TN – Ascend Amphitheater 29 – Alpharetta, GA – Verizon Amphitheatre 31 – Tampa, FL – MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre

SEPTEMBER 1 – West Palm Beach, FL – Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre

www.charlieputh.com/tour

  SOURCE Live Nation Entertainment

Related Links

http://www.investors.livenationentertainment.com

[watchingthesuperbowl]

Notes taken during Super Bowl XII

PREGAME

Recording opens with CBS NFL Today crew walking out to Dixieland jazz.

Irv Cross: There's a lot of tension in the locker rooms, players going over assignments, but when the game starts it'll be "rock 'em sock 'em football".

Musberger: The Broncos are the Cinderella story of the year.

Phyllis George "interrupts" Musberger and "ad libs", asking him to make the prediction he's failed to make so far. Musberger delays, saying he wants to hear from the experts first.

Tom Brookshier doesn't make any kind of prediction, says he hopes nobody gets hurt, but otherwise he doesn't care. That's not what they asked, Tom.

Pat Summerall: Defense will decide it, but I'm not sure who wins.

Paul Hornung: Heart is colored orange, but better judgment says 21-10 Cowboys.

Nick Buoniconti: 21-17 Broncos

Sonny Jurgensen: Turnovers will be key, doesn't make a prediction.

John Brodie: 20-16 Broncos

Gary Bender: Cowboys by a touchdown.

Hank Stram: 24-16 Cowboys.

Jimmy The Greek: Dead even. Way to go out on a limb.

Phyllis George: Dallas by a touchdown.

Irv Cross: Dallas has everything, I pick them to win.

Musberger: Pulls out giant computer printout, says something about biorhythms. Apparently the biorhythms say Staubach will have two interceptions. Brent says 17-13 Broncos. Says the last six times the Raiders have lost the AFL/AFC championship game, the team they lost to won the Super Bowl.

This is the first Super Bowl to be played indoors. Jack Whitaker makes a bunch of Star Wars references.

SB XII is sponsored by Orange Crush. Synergy.

CBS bumps in with LeRoy Neiman painting of the Superdome. At first, I think it's a Journey album cover.

Brookshier produces one of the infamous vertical striped Broncos socks. Says people used to call them the Wyoming JV team.

The two starting QBs, Staubach and Morton, were born exactly one year apart.

Brookshier: "It's just an American championship game, I don't want to use the other term, okay?" Yeesh, Tom. Nobody asked you.

Now Brookshier more or less says the people in the stadium have a worse view than people at home. Is he trying to be negative?

Cowboys offense introduced. Billy Joe Dupree gets a big ovation. He's from Monroe, Louisiana.

Broncos defense now. Lyle Alzado! Tom Jackson! I'm struck by how few stars this defense had, considering how good it was in 1977.

CBS features the Cowboys cheerleaders. Brookshier says some icky things that he meant as compliments, but would get you taken to HR (and rightfully so) if you said them in the office in 2017. I'm not looking forward to three hours of Brookshier.

Coin toss: RED GRANGE!!! HOLY CRAP! He's escorted by Miss America.

Dallas wins the toss and will receive.

National anthem: Phyllis Kelly accompanied by the Southern University marching band.

FIRST QUARTER

Brookshier: If you get behind Dallas early, you might overcompensate.

Jim Turner is the Broncos' kicker - he was the Jets' kicker in SB3.

More Neiman paintings for the introductions.

First play: Cowboys shift twice, then send a man in motion. Cowboys running a reverse but Butch Johnson fumbles the handoff from Dorsett. Brookshier keeps saying Johnson was going to give it back to Staubach for a flea flicker, but I don't see any evidence of that on the replay. Staubach wasn't in a position to throw the ball.

Cowboys appear to go three and out, but there's a flag on the third down play. Offsetting penalties after the play, so Dallas will punt. Danny White in the house. Brookshier says White has the ability to run and pass, but he'll probably kick this one.

Hollywood Henderson crushes punt returner Rick Upchurch before the ball is anywhere near him. Personal foul, Broncos have 1st and 10 from their own 48.

Broncos start with two runs to Keyworth, losing two yards. Third down, Morton down the middle to Haven Moses. Nice grab, first down at the Dallas 35.

Summerall: Craig Morton has never beaten the Cowboys.

Second down, Too Tall Jones hits Morton's elbow as he throws. Morton reaches for the elbow as if it's injured. He stays in the game and gets sacked by Randy White one play later. Denver is punting. Something named Bucky Dilts does the honors.

HILL MUFFS THE PUNT AT HIS OWN 3! Big pileup, Dallas recovers, nobody seems sure why he didn't just let the ball go into his own end zone.

Now Dorsett fumbles! At his own 20, give or take. Dallas recovers again. They're dodging bullets like crazy.

Summerall: "If anybody looks tight, it's Dallas." Staubach sacked on third down, they'll punt again. CBS runs a graphic saying that White is averaging 40 yards per punt today. He has punted once today, presumably for 40 yards.

First play of the ensuing Bronco drive, Morton misreads the play, throws deep and misses everybody by 20 yards. Next play, Morton misses everybody by 5-10 yards, but it's nullified by a penalty. So instead, Morton makes a horrendous throw while he's in the process of being sacked and it's picked off. It would be difficult to overstate how terrible that sequence was from Morton.

Billy Joe Dupree makes a catch on the first play of the Dallas drive and gets helicoptered, Nat Moore style. That's always fun.

Broncos rotating their entire defensive line. Brookshier says they do this so they're fresh in the fourth quarter. That may be, but if you fall behind, the energy level of your defense in the fourth quarter is less likely to matter.

Fourth and inches from the Denver 2. Dallas going for it. Three running backs in the backfield, and it's Dorsett who takes it into the end zone standing up. With the extra point, it's 7-0 Cowboys.

Nice return of the ensuing kickoff from Denver's John Schultz. Out to the 40 yard line, with kicker Efren Herrera making the tackle.

Second down, Morton hit as he throws again, picked off again. Breunig tips it to Kyle. Morton had no business making that throw, but I recognize that I don't have a 6-foot-9 behemoth attempting to crush me into the turf as I type this.

Summerall: Denver bench has lost some energy. Very casual.

Dorsett bursts around right end and gets inside the Denver 10. First and goal from the 8.

Staubach sacked on third down. Alzado gets him, so here comes Efren Herrera for the field goal attempt. 35 yard kick right down the middle. 10-0 Dallas, late first quarter.

Promo for CBS coverage of the world lightweight boxing championship: Roberto Duran vs. Esteban DeJesus. Remember when great fighters were on network TV? That was neat.

Third down, Morton running for his life, makes another terrible throw. At least this one was to a guy in an orange shirt. Three and out, Denver to punt as the second quarter starts. 10-0 Dallas.

SECOND QUARTER

A bit of a pushing and shoving match after the punt. No penalties called, which was the right thing for the refs to do.

Denver offense in the first quarter: 5 yards rushing, 3 yards passing, 2 interceptions.

Cutaway shot of Dallas cheerleaders. It occurs to me that they're like 70 years old now.

Staubach scrambling, scrambling, still scrambling, throws deep across the field and gets picked off, but refs say he stepped out of bounds just before he released the ball. No interception. Denver can't catch a break.

Replay looks like Staubach was obviously still in bounds and the officials blew that call, but the Broncos had no recourse in the pre-challenge NFL. Summerall and Brookshier insist that the call is correct, and I can't help but wonder what the hell they're looking at.

Cowboys settle for a Herrera field goal. 13-0 Dallas. The Cowboys have more points than the Broncos have yards.

Oh, man, now Denver called for holding on the kickoff return. They start from their own 10. This is ugly.

Second and five, Morton has plenty of time and throws a lofted deep pass, but it's underthrown and picked off by Barnes. The third interception of the game for the Dallas defense; Morton only threw eight in the entire regular season.

Denver defensive line is doing its job well. Ruben Carter breaks through and the Orange Crush sacks Staubach for the fourth time in the half. Here's Danny White to punt. Ball bounces, somehow hits a Bronco in the head while he's diving in an attempt to make what looks like a terrible block. Dallas recovers. Denver punt returner Rick Upchurch absolutely melting down with rage for some reason. Calm and collected, he's not. You're still in the game, Rick. If you get a stop and score a touchdown, it's 13-7.

Brookshier references biorhythms, the second time I've heard CBS use that term in this game. I guess maybe I knew that was a thing in the late 70s, but this weird.

"Challenge of the Sexes" next week on CBS sports. Men vs. women in golf, diving, and rodeo. Ooooohkay. Have fun with that.

3rd and 16, Dallas WR Butch Johnson has a step on his defender but Staubach's pass is tipped away. Herrera to try another field goal, but it's wide left. Broncos get the ball with a chance to pull within six points. This is exactly why Upchurch needed to chill.

Brookshier: Morton dealing with a hip issue. Maybe, but the Cowboy defense is dominating to such a degree that this wouldn't be much closer if he were 100% healthy.

Less than 5 minutes left in the half, Broncos have one first down. 3rd and 9, Morton completes a pass to Dalbin, who grabs it, takes a couple steps, and fumbles. Dallas recovers and returns it inside the Bronco 30. It would have been a first down if he hadn't lost the ball. Denver still has a total of one first down.

Cowboys staying on the ground. Dorsett, then Newhouse. Cowboys now inside the 10, first and goal.

Another promo. This time for "Celebrity Challenge of the Sexes". So that was a thing that existed, huh? Brookshier refers to 'Susan Summers', so he totally had his finger on the pulse.

Denver LB Randy Gradishar carried off. Can't put any weight on his leg. Safe to assume he's done for the day.

Two minute warning, Cowboys have 2nd and goal.

Staubach his Drew Pearson right in the hands in the end zone. Pearson drops what should have been an uncontested TD. Now it's third and goal. Brookshier says the Denver defense has played well. I concur. Orange Crush stops Newhouse after a third down completion. Herrera comes on to try another field goal. Wide right this time. Still 13-0.

Summerall says the Cowboys had a chance to be up 30 here instead of 13. That sounds about right. This is utter destruction.

Speaking of which, Broncos' TE Odoms fumbles on the first play after the missed field goal. Dallas recovers again. Every time I think the devastation has reached its peak, something else happens.

Next play, Staubach completes a pass to Dupree at the 10. Steve Foley causes a fumble, Tom Jackson recovers. The Broncos have the ball and 50 seconds to screw more stuff up before the half.

Which they promptly do. A holding penalty on the first play backs them up to around their own 6 yard line. Denver trying to run clock, Dallas calling timeouts.

Brookshier: "I've got a feeling Denver is back in this football game." Um, okay?

Broncos actually moving the ball on the ground on this drive. Tough to tell if this is actual improvement or just soft defense by a Dallas team that doesn't care about yardage as long as the clock is rolling. Denver at their own 40, 0:17 left before halftime.

Well, that fell apart in a hurry. Morton has all...day... to throw the ball and hits defensive back Mark Washington in the chest with a pass. Morton's fourth interception of the half.

Cowboys complete a quick pass to the sideline and get out of bounds with 0:01 left before the half. Here's Herrera to attempt his fifth field goal of the game. Wide left this time - he's 2 for 5. Somehow, inexplicably, Denver is in this thing if they can get the next score.

HALFTIME

Montage of Super Bowl memories set to Streisand singing 'The Way We Were'.

Brent Musberger narrates first half highlights. It's a lot of interceptions and a lot of Tony Dorsett. Musberger says it looks like Staubach's foot was in bounds on the "interception" that was whistled dead. Makes me feel better - Summerall and Brookshier's attempt at gaslighting me nearly worked.

THIRD QUARTER

Broncos receive opening kickoff of the second half. Good return from Schultz out to the Denver 34.

Halftime stats: Craig Morton completed four passes in the first half to his receivers. He also completed four passes to the defense.

Otis Armstrong with a nice outside run down the right sideline. Gets into Dallas territory.

Next play: Tipped pass, easily could have been the fifth interception.

Brookshier being creepy again during cutaway shots of cheerleaders. "There's a 10."

Bronco drive stalls at the Dallas 41. They punt. Except that they don't. It's a fake, Dilts tries to pass, can't find a receiver, and loses a couple yards. It's a turnover on down. Except that it isn't. Dallas had twelve players on the field. The five yards give Denver a first down. CBS announcers say Dilts can throw the ball, was firing it 60 yards downfield at practice.

Broncos don't do much with the ball on the next set of downs, but they're in Jim Turner's field goal range. Kick is good and it's 13-3 Cowboys.

Ensuing kickoff goes out of bounds. Broncos to kick again - I guess this was before the "start on the 35" rule. Next kickoff is fumbled by Butch Johnson, but he picks it up and gets to his own 21.

Gradishar back in the game for the Broncos after what looked like a serious injury earlier in the game. I'mma go ahead and assume pharmaceuticals were involved.

Cowboys 2 of 10 on third down conversions. Now they're 2 of 11 after Staubach scrambles for a couple yards. Denver's defense is playing every bit as well as its offense is playing badly. Danny White punts.

Cutaway shot of someone in the stands watching the game on TV. He sees himself on his own TV. He is pleased.

Broncos go three and out. Again. Diltstime.

More Brookshier creepiness with cheerleader cutaway shots. This is cringeworthy. And a minute or two later, even more creepin'. Yuck.

Staubach drops deep and hits Drew Pearson. Cowboys into Bronco territory. 7:00 or so left in the quarter.

HOLY MOLY. Staubach takes a deep shot and Butch Johnson makes a diving, rolling catch as he falls into the end zone. Johnson drops the ball as soon as he lands, which might be called an incompletion these days, but was good enough back then. Fantastic grab. 20-3 Cowboys now.

Terrific kickoff return from Rick Upchurch on the ensuing kick. He looked like he was about to get tackled for about 30-35 yards, but he just kept going. Longest kickoff return in Super Bowl history to the Cowboys' 27.

First play after the kickoff, Craig Morton throws the ball right to Too Tall Jones, who somehow drops it. Could have/should have been their fifth interception of the day.

Sideline reporter Paul Hornung says Johnson may have cracked a bone in his arm on the catch, but will probably play anyway. Because painkillers.

Broncos pull Morton. Norris Weese in at quarterback. Brookshier says Weese runs the option as well as anyone in pro football, which is about like being the best tipoff guy in the NBA.

4th and 1 from Dallas 18, the Broncos go for it and...it's an option run! Nearly springs Lytle for the score. He's tackled inside the 1.

Next play: Lytle pounds it into the end zone. Somehow Denver is back within 10, at 20-10.

Summerall: 15 penalties so far, a new Super Bowl record.

Make that 16. Personal foul on Hollywood Henderson on the kick return. Cowboys start the next drive inside their 15.

Dallas keeping the ball on the ground, running clock and moving downfield slowly but surely. This is best-case scenario stuff for the Cowboys: Possess the ball, run clock, and gain first downs. Now they throw a couple of times, but they're both short ball-control passes. Dallas now at the Bronco 40, a minute left in the quarter.

Denver DL John Grant and Dallas RB Tony Dorsett simultaneously injured on the same play. Both are down with what appear to be leg injuries on the final play of the third quarter.

FOURTH QUARTER

Denver has 24 passing yards through three quarters.

Paul Hornung: Dorsett is walking on his right knee and may come back.

Brookshier notices all the injured players who are returning. Painkillers.

Third and long, Staubach back to pass, Tom Jackson strips him and the Broncos recover. 14:02 left in the game, Broncos down 10 with the ball near midfield.

Broncos go to the shotgun formation and the announcers are shocked. Weese makes a nice throw to Rick Upchurch who's injured on the play.

Staubach heads to locker room with what looks like an injury to his right index finger. Punter Danny White is the Cowboys' backup QB. He's now loosening up on the sideline. At the time, this would have been scary. In retrospect, White was a good quarterback who could do the job nicely.

Weese throws an incomplete pass on third down. Dilts punts into the end zone.

White takes the field with the Cowboy offense. Completes his first pass. Hornung mentions that two thirds of the Dallas backfield is injured. (Staubach and Dorsett.)

Staubach comes out of the locker room, puts his helmet on immediately and looks ready to go. Meanwhile on the field, Danny White converts on a third down quarterback draw. Runs for 12 yards. 10 minutes left, Cowboys up by 10.

Third and long, White calls a timeout because he doesn't like what he sees. After the timeout, it's Staubach in at quarterback. Roger overthrows Drew Pearson by about 20 yards on his first pass, so White comes back out on the field...this time to punt. A pretty good kick and Denver takes over around its own 20 with less than 9 minutes left in the game.

First play of the drive is really weird: Harvey Martin grabs Weese spins him, and Weese completes a pass for a loss of 1 as he falls. Replay shows it should have been a sack, but it's not called as such.

Two plays later, Harvey Martin sacks Weese and the Bronco QB fumbles. Dallas recovers at the Denver 30. 7:00 or so left, Cowboys up 20-10. That's Denver's eighth turnover of the game.

First play of the next drive, Robert Newhouse gets the ball on a run/pass option and he throws long to Golden Richards in the end zone. Richards grabs it and it's 27-10 Cowboys with 7:04 left. This game is over, barring a miracle.

4th and 2 from the Dallas 40, Broncos go for it and get the first down on a Weese run. 5:25 left, still a 17-point game.

Maybe it's because the Cowboys are playing safe defenses, but Weese looks light years better than Morton. He's looked really good. Bootlegs around left end to the Dallas 11. Four minutes left, Broncos still down 17.

Third down, Lytle stuffed. Spikes the ball out of frustration after he gets tackled and is called for delay of game. Because he was trying to kill clock while losing in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl. Of course.

Fourth down, Weese with a perfect throw to Upchurch at the 5, but the receiver drops it. Dallas takes over on downs.

...and they're throwing?!? Staubach rolls out on first down and is nearly picked off. You guys. Run clock.

And now they do so. Preston Pearson runs the ball, gains a few yards, and the clock ticks below 2:30. Next play, a shovel pass from Staubach to Pearson, who picks up a first down. Unfortunately for Dallas, they're called for an ineligible lineman downfield. Dallas's twelfth penalty of the game, a new record.

Cowboys punt on fourth down, but Denver runs into the kicker. First down. Game over, for all intents and purposes.

Co-MVPs named: Harvey Martin and Randy White. Brookshier wonders whether they'll have to cut the prize, a car, in half.

Final score: Dallas 27, Denver 10.

[ampsandgreenscreens]

NICKELBACK ‘FEED THE MACHINE’ WITH 44-CITY NORTH AMERICAN TOUR, NEW SINGLE AND NINTH STUDIO ALBUM

Daughtry Joins Tour as Special Guest on U.S. Dates, Toronto and Montreal

Cheap Trick Joining as Special Guests on Select Canadian Dates

Tickets On Sale February 11

Multi-platinum, chart-topping rock band, NICKELBACK is set to hit the road this summer on the colossal headlining Feed The Machine Tour, announced today.  Produced exclusively by Live Nation, the Feed The Machine Tour will begin on June 23 in Noblesville, Indiana, with 44 dates across North America including stops in Detroit, Los Angeles, Chicago, Toronto, Vancouver, and more.  Daughtry will join Nickelback as their special guest for all of the U.S. dates, as well as Toronto and Montreal, while Shaman’s Harvest will be seen on all dates. Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame icons, Cheap Trick, will be special guests for the western Canadian leg of the tour.  Full itinerary below.

Tickets for the Feed The Machine Tour will be available beginning with a Fan Club presale on Monday, February 6 at 10:00 AM local venue time on the Live Nation App and at LiveNation.com. Fans who pre-order the new album today from the band’s official storewill receive a code for early access to tickets as well as an instant-grat of the first single, “Feed The Machine.” General on-sale beginsSaturday, February 11, with four-packs available for $80.00 in select cities.  For ticket information and details on where to buy tickets for select fair dates, visit www.nickelback.com.

Nickelback will offer a limited number of VIP packages for each show with options including premium seating, specially designed Nickelback messenger bag, limited edition guitar pick set in wood casing, parking, VIP laminate, commemorative VIP ticket, early entry and more. Fans can visit www.nickelback.com for more info. VIP Packages will be available during the pre-sale. Please visit livenation.com for more information.

Nickelback is currently in the studio putting the finishing touches on their ninth album, Feed The Machine (BMG)¸ set for release on Friday, June 9. Written by Nickelback and co-produced with Chris Baseford (Slash, Shinedown), “Feed The Machine” is a defiant rock anthem featuring blistering guitar riffs and face-melting rhythm tracks. Watch the lyric video for it here. Pre-order from your preferred service now.

Since forming in Alberta, Canada in 1995, globally celebrated, multi-platinum rock band Nickelback have cemented themselves as one of the most commercially viable and important acts of the past two decades. Nickelback’s success includes worldwide sales of more than 50 million units, solidifying their status as the “eleventh best-selling music act” and second best-selling foreign act in the U.S. of the 21st century—behind only The Beatles. Their inescapable and irresistible smash “How You Remind Me” was named Billboard’s ‘Top Rock Song of the Decade’ and was No. 4 on the Top 10 songs of the 2000s list. 

Amongst all of these accolades, they’ve also been named Billboard’s “Top Rock Group of the Decade.”  Along the way, they have received a staggering nine Grammy Award nominations, three American Music Awards, a World Music Award, a People’s Choice Award, twelve JUNO Awards, seven MuchMusic Video Award, and have been inducted into Canada’s Walk of Fame (2007).  With more than 23 chart-topping singles and fans spanning the globe, Nickelback boasts twelve consecutive sold-out international tours, playing to well over eight million+ diehard and adoring fans. Nickelback are Chad Kroeger (Lead Vocals, Guitars), Ryan Peake (Guitars, Backing Vocals), Mike Kroeger (Bass) and Daniel Adair (Drums, Backing Vocals).

www.nickelback.com

http://www.facebook.com/Nickelback

http://twitter.com/nickelback

Instagram.com/Nickelback

http://www.youtube.com/nickelbacktv

Feed The Machine Tour

Friday, June 23                    Noblesville, IN       Klipsch Music Center                                         w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Saturday, June 24 Detroit, MI             DTE Energy Music Theatre                               w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Tuesday, June 27                Toronto, ON          Budweiser Stage                                                w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Thursday, June 29               Montreal, QC        Centre Bell                                                         w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Saturday, July 1                   Wantagh, NY        Jones Beach Theater                                        w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Sunday, July 2                     Holmdel, NJ          PNC Bank Arts Center                                      w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Tuesday, July 4                   Virginia Beach, VA  Veterans United Home Loans Amphitheater    w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Friday, July 7                       Bangor, ME           Darling's Waterfront Pavilion                             w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Saturday, July 8                   Mansfield, MA       Xfinity Center                                                     w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Monday, July 10                  Saratoga Springs, NY                Saratoga Performing Arts Center                      w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Wednesday, July 12            Darien Center, NY      Darien Lake Performing Arts Center                w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Thursday, July 20**             Monticello, IA        Great Jones County Fair                                   w/Daughtry**

Friday, July 21                     Omaha, NE           CenturyLink Center                                           w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Sunday, July 23                   Kansas City, MO  Starlight Theatre                                                w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Tuesday, July 25                 St. Louis, MO        Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre                       w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Friday, July 28                     Houston, TX          The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Saturday, July 29                 Dallas, TX             Starplex Pavilion                                                w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Tuesday, August 1               Tampa, FL            MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre        w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Wednesday, August 2          Alpharetta, GA      Verizon Amphitheatre                                        w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Friday, August 4                   Camden, NJ         BB&T Pavilion                                                    w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Saturday, August 5              Hershey, PA         Hersheypark Stadium                                        w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Monday, August 7 Burgettstown, PA  KeyBank Pavilion                                              w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Wednesday, August 9          Cincinnati, OH      Riverbend Music Center                                    w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Friday, August 11**              Des Moines, IA     Iowa State Fair Grandstand                w/Shaman’s Harvest**

Saturday, August 12            Chicago, IL            Huntington Bank Pavilion at Northerly Island    w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Monday, August 14              Cuyahoga Falls, OH Blossom Music Center                                      w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Thursday, August 24**         St. Paul, MN         Minnesota State Fair                                          w/Daughtry**

Saturday, August 26            Bismarck, ND       Bismarck Event Center                                     w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Sunday, August 27              Billings, MT           Rimrock Auto Arena at MetraPark                    w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Tuesday, August 29             Spokane, WA        Spokane Arena                                                  w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Wednesday, August 30        Portland, OR         Sunlight Supply Amphitheater                           w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Friday, September 01**       Puyallup, WA        Washington State Fair                                       w/Daughtry**

Sunday, September 3          Mountain View, CA  Shoreline Amphitheatre                                     w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Wednesday, September 6   Wheatland, CA      Toyota Amphitheatre                                         w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Friday, September 08          Los Angeles, CA   Greek Theatre                                                   w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Saturday, September 09     Phoenix, AZ          Ak-Chin Pavilion                                                w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Tuesday, September 12      Morrison, CO        Red Rocks Amphitheatre                                  w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Thursday, September 14     Albuquerque, NM    Isleta Amphitheatre                                            w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Saturday, September 16     Salt Lake City, UT    USANA Amphitheatre                                       w/Daughtry, Shaman's Harvest

Thursday, September 21     Winnipeg, MB       MTS Centre                                                       w/Cheap Trick, Shaman's Harvest

Saturday, September 23     Saskatoon, SK      SaskTel Centre                                                  w/Cheap Trick, Shaman's Harvest

Tuesday, September 26      Calgary, AB          Scotiabank Saddledome                                   w/Cheap Trick, Shaman's Harvest

Thursday, September 28     Edmonton, AB      Rogers Place                                                     w/Cheap Trick, Shaman's Harvest

Sunday, October 1              Vancouver, BC     Pepsi Live at Rogers Arena                w/Cheap Trick, Shaman's Harvest

**Visit www.nickelback.com for ticket information

About Live Nation Entertainment

Live Nation Entertainment (NYSE: LYV) is the world’s leading live entertainment company comprised of global market leaders: Ticketmaster, Live Nation Concerts, Live Nation Advertising & Sponsorship and Artist Nation Management. For additional information, visit www.livenationentertainment.com.