#oh my god why is this so long i'm so sorry

[zepskies]

All righty, here we go, diving into more of the angsty love triangle!! *rubs hands together* 😈

However, it wasn't enough to block out the sounds that were coming from your bedroom or the subtle knocking of your headboard against the metal wall between his and your room that grew louder and louder every passing minute.

Oooh my God, poor Dean. 🫣 This is literally torture for him! lol

When you'd agreed to move to the bunker Dean had insisted you live in the bedroom next to his. It meant that if there was a problem in the middle of the night, Dean would be the first to hear you scream and the first to protect you.

I had a feeling this was why he insisted on her living in the room next to his, our big protective man, but now it's coming back to bite him in the ass. 💀

He remembered how soft you felt under him, how you clung to his body as if he was the only thing grounding you to earth, how natural it felt to be there protecting you, how you sighed when he pushed your hair back from your face, and how all the soft parts of you seemed to fit perfectly against all of the hardened muscles of him.

He'd lost so many things in his life and he knew that he couldn't lose you, not without losing a piece of himself.

Sobbbiiiiiingggg -- oh Dean. 😭😭

It made Dean feel like someone had ripped at his insides with a pickaxe seeing you hurt and listening to the whimper of pain that passed through your lips. He knew that he went too far when you broke his nose, but damnit, Dean just wanted you to be safe! And you never listened to what he told you because you were just so damn stubborn and always got on Dean's last nerve.

God Dean! You can only bury your emotions under assholery and anger for so long. He can hate the fact that she's a hunter and want more for her, but he has to accept that it's her choice, and he can support her and be honest with her rather than succumbing to his assholery. 🥲🥲

But of course, his "I'm not worthy" mentality crops up as well. 🙃 Makes you want to throttle him (if in more than one way lmao)!!

The thought that he was suffering so much while trying to find her when she was in another world is also heartbreakingly on-brand for him. He'd so be tearing through every piece of lore and resource to try and get her back. 😭

"That better be a way for use to get rid of the walking Trojan ad." Dean huffs, throwing himself into the chair across from his brother. Please let them be using protection. The last thing I want is to be stuck here to raise super baby. I had enough problems with Jack.

💀💀💀 Come on now, Dean, don't be petty. 🤣

"Just listen to me for a minute." Sam points at him with the pen. "She might be stubborn and sarcastic on the outside, but she's not callous or emotionless. She hides what she's feeling deep down, just like you do. And I think that she likes Ben because he doesn't hurt her and he makes her feel wanted." But I do want her.

TELL HIM, SAM. SHAKE HIM UNTIL HIS GREEN EYES ROLL INTO HIS HEAD -- make him see how he's acting!! lol

Your eyes trace the way his dark hair has fallen into his face and over the pillow, and you reach up to push some of the strands back from his face. But with it comes the ghost of how you wanted to do the same thing to Dean earlier, that your fingertips had itched to feel his brownish golden hair in your hands.

Gahhh pain. so very pain, even though it hurts so good. 😭😭😭

Dean kissed like he wanted you to understand and that he wished to understand himself. Dean's kiss was passionate, filled with enough emotion that it left you breathless. Ben was never afraid to take what he wanted but Dean, he was almost asking, trying to let you understand, and trying to listen to what you wanted.

"I-" He swallows. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how much I hurt you. All I wanted was for you to be safe and to talk to me the way you talk to Sam." His voice is quiet, just a soft rumble, but you can hear a tremor on the edge of his words. "I didn't mean to make you hate me."

Omggg finally!! Finally Dean's being honest about how he feels without being a dick about it. 😪

But he didn't, he never did.  And in the kiss is something else, years of emotions the two of you pushed down, years of being frenemies of almost losing each other, years of ignoring what was developing between the two of you, and years of watching the other fall for the wrong person.

Ughhh such soul-rendering description, and the spice here is oh so delicious. ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

But I have to point out that the reading is having a DAY loll. Two beefcakes in one night?? 😏

(Also, I'm afraid of how Ben is gonna take this. 😬)

"Don't do me any favors sweetheart, we had fun." Ben shrugs. "That's all this was."

Oh sure, pretend she meant nothing to you to spare your deep-down man feelings. 🙄

"Stupid, fucking piece of shit!" Ben growled at the computer monitor in front of him that had a bright red ERROR message splayed across it.

LMAOO Ben vs. Technology -- I think we all know who's winning. 🤣

And Ben secretly liking therapy just so he just has someone to vent to for an hour? Be still my heart, honestly. 😭

The version of you Ben knew from Dean's universe flashed through Ben's mind again. She was more confident and outgoing, but you looked a little shy, hiding back in the cardigan and using the iPad in your hands as a welcome distraction to looking Ben in the eyes and like a shield. He thought it was cute.

OMGGGGG I'M WEEAAAAK -- and he's already clocking IT girl's cuteness, I'm dead. 😂💞 The way he's already starting to like her better? I see what you did there. 😉

"To the ends of the Earth doll." Ben winks and watches the flush of your cheeks deepen to a crimson and hears the way your heart buckles and jumps when he does.

ahaha you charmer, you. 😂 A swoon-worthy line, even if we do know how sleazy this man can be lol. She really has no idea what she's getting into with this guy, but I love to imagine that with this nicely wrapped up ending! 💕💕

Part 3: Why Is It A Big Deal?

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Dean Winchester xf!reader

POV: Dean POV, Reader POV, Soldier Boy/Ben POV

Summary: Dean's in for a rude awakening when he finds out exactly what you did when you got stranded in another universe.

Tropes: Fluff, Frenemies (Dean and the Reader), Enemies to Lovers, Awkward Situation, Multiverse Problems, ANGST, Crossover

Word Count: 12.4K (I PROMISE I DIDN'T MEAN TO)

Listen While You Read: Treat You Better By Shawn Mendes

Warnings: I'm gonna label this 18+ just to be sure. There is some swearing, Making Out, Sexual Innuendo, References to Sex, Jealousy, A little homophobia (it’s Soldier Boy), Feelings, Angst, Self Deprecating Thoughts? References to Past Sex (it happens quite a bit). Soldier Boy Being Soldier Boy (Everyone knows he’s a warning). Dean Winchester Being Dean Winchester.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is no use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person

A/N: It's finally here! I have loved the return to this universe more than words can describe. Each of the POV's are crazy in their own way. And again, don't forget to read the fic "Stranded" by @justagirlinafandomworld that inspired me to write this series in the first place! ENJOY!

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Dean POV

Dean leaned back on his bed at the bunker and jammed the pillow further down around his ears over his headphones. He was listening to a mixtape that he had burned forever ago, chosen because it had the loudest drum solos blaring through his Walkman. However, it wasn't enough to block out the sounds that were coming from your bedroom or the subtle knocking of your headboard against the metal wall between his and your room that grew louder and louder every passing minute.

Dean had tried his best to get Sam on his side when he proposed the idea that Ben didn't have to come back to the bunker and instead should be sent be sent back to wherever the hell he came from right then and there, but Cas was still out doing whatever it was he was doing, which meant that Ben was going to stick around for a little longer.

And it meant that Ben was finally getting his wish… you.

Dean's teeth gritted together when he heard another moan over the sound of the cymbals and felt a white hot spike of something in the pit of his stomach burn through his body.

When you'd agreed to move to the bunker Dean had insisted you live in the bedroom next to his. It meant that if there was a problem in the middle of the night, Dean would be the first to hear you scream and the first to protect you. But other than the time you stubbed your toe and Dean kicked down the door when he heard you yell with his gun drawn, there hadn't been an emergent situation that required his help.

Right now he was regretting the decision to have you live next door wholeheartedly, because it meant that he was having a front row seat to everything Ben and you were doing in your bedroom.

Dean sighed, his eyes squeezed shut, as he tried not to imagine what was happening, but he kept having flashes skate across his mind. He didn't want to see what it looked like or sounded like to have Ben's name tumbling from your lips, all Dean wanted was to hear you say his name like that and to be the one making you fall apart beneath him.

Not some asshole from another universe.

The image of you laying under him back at the school came back to him in a wave, pushing away the revulsion momentarily. He remembered how soft you felt under him, how you clung to his body as if he was the only thing grounding you to earth, how natural it felt to be there protecting you, how you sighed when he pushed your hair back from your face, and how all the soft parts of you seemed to fit perfectly against all of the hardened muscles of him.

He hadn't even made love to you and you laying there on top of you felt more intimate than any experience he'd had in his life. Dean wanted to exist in that moment with you a little longer, to savor those last few seconds of you staring up at him as if he was the only person in the world.

The memory of Ben kissing you after followed. Dean remembered the way Ben's lips roughly took from you and the way he held on to your face and it snapped Dean out of it. It hurt him more that you let Ben kiss you after Dean had been the one to save you.

Fuck.

His teeth gritted hard together so tight that he heard them grind. He hated watching you with Ben, hated watching Ben do the one thing that Dean had wanted to do for years. And Dean also hated the way that Ben treated you, as if you were something to be possessed and showed off, as if you weren't smart or anything more than just beautiful.

Dean had known from the first moment he saw you in Ellen's bar years ago that you were the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his entire life. You were funny, kind, sarcastic, and had a hard edge that you'd developed after years of being a hunter, but there was something else, a softer side of you that you didn't let everyone see, something hidden beneath it all that you only allowed yourself to have whenever Sam was around, but never with Dean.

It made him hate his brother a little bit, seeing how effortlessly the two of you had developed a friendship, while Dean had to practically Heimlich you to talk to him.

Dean wanted to see that side of you so badly. He wanted you to smile at him the soft way you smiled at Sam, and wanted you to laugh at his jokes or tease him playfully about his hair or about what he was wearing that day the way he'd seen you with his brother.

He tried to find reasons to be in the same room as you, drifting to sit nearby while you read or watched a movie. You always seemed different then. Your body was relaxed, open, with just a hint of a smile curving on the edge of your lips that made Dean want to stare at you for the rest of his life.

He tried to make you laugh whenever he could and tried his best to impress you, but each time he did you'd only roll your eyes and make a sarcastic comment. You didn't like him, Dean knew that, but he wished you did.

Sure he was maybe a little harsh on you sometimes, but Dean didn't want anything to happen to you, he was trying to protect you, because he knew the moment he stopped caring so much would be the moment he lost you.

He'd lost so many things in his life and he knew that he couldn't lose you, not without losing a piece of himself.

He hadn't felt like this about anyone else ever, and he didn't know what to do with his feelings. Bottling them up only seemed to hurt him more, but whenever something happened on a hunt or you tried to split away from him and Sam, he panicked and said things that he shouldn't instead of the three little words that he'd been wanting to say to you for years.

That's what happened a few weeks ago on a hunt, when you went into a house alone and faced a poltergeist that threw you across the room and into a glass cabinet. Dean had stood there yelling at you trying to tell you how stupid it had been for you to go in alone, while biting back what he really wanted to say- that he couldn't lose you. He couldn't lose you because looking at you was like watching the fireflies along a misty road at dusk, each one lighting a path in the darkness that showed him the way.

Yes he was angry, but all Dean saw was the bloody ripped sleeve of your shirt, and the way your face had contorted in pain when Sam picked you up and helped you back to the car. It made Dean feel like someone had ripped at his insides with a pickaxe seeing you hurt and listening to the whimper of pain that passed through your lips. He knew that he went too far when you broke his nose, but damnit, Dean just wanted you to be safe! And you never listened to what he told you because you were just so damn stubborn and always got on Dean's last nerve.

The truth was he hated that this was your life, hated that you were a hunter and each day you put yourself in danger, because he believed you deserved more. You deserved a normal life with someone who loved you, maybe a few kids, a dog, and a life far from the world that Dean and you knew so well.

Of course the thought of you with anyone else made Dean want to put his fist through a wall. The problem was even though Dean wanted you, he believed that you deserved better than him. You deserved the white picket fence and suburbia, not a darkened bunker underground with a man who wasn't sure he still had anything good left.

It was the reason why he didn't want to tell you how he felt, that, and Dean believed you absolutely hated him and hated being around him in the first place. It's why he buried it beneath the surface for so long.

However, when he was looking at you Dean often forgot the things that happened to him. You made him want to keep getting back up to fight if not for anyone else, for you.

But then Ben had shown up.

When you'd gotten dragged to another universe, Dean had tried everything in his power to get you back. He'd screamed and prayed for Cas so loud and so many times he went hoarse, he'd looked through almost every book he knew of to find the spell to bring you back to no avail, tried several rituals that promised results but gave him nothing, looked at his computer screen for so long that it made him cross-eyed, and drank coffee so strong it made his heart race.

But all Dean knew was that you were somewhere else alone, where he couldn't get to you or protect you, and it made him sick. He hated the thought of you alone trying to fight your way to survival in a place like the Endverse. When Cas finally came five days later and helped Dean bring you back, Dean had been so happy to see you that he'd almost hugged you, but instead he'd made an off-brand joke and you'd run into Sam's arms for a hug that made his chest tight.

Dean thought that he was having a nightmare when he saw Ben, a man who looked so much like himself, stride into the motel room confidently and kiss you. Dean was waiting for you to push him away, to tell him to fuck off, but you didn't, you liked it. And judging by the sounds Dean was hearing through the wall he could see that you wanted Ben.

All it did was piss Dean off that another version of himself got to have you and he didn't. Not when he'd known you longer and you'd only known Ben for five days.

Five fucking days. She's known that asshole for five days and she likes him. She's known you for years and she can't even stand to be in the same room with you.

The thought made Dean's heart clench in his chest. He didn't understand what Ben had that he didn’t have, he was him after all as Dean kept saying over and over to you. But Dean knew that deep down the real thing he was telling you over and over was not that Ben was him, but rather was asking the question: "why not me?"

Does she really hate me that much that she can't stand the thought of being with me? That she can stand to be with someone who looks exactly like me, but can't stay in a room with me for more than ten seconds?

Dean gets out of bed, stomps out the door, and down the hallway towards the library to try and escape the sounds coming from your room. They vibrate down the hall after him, like a flock of seagulls, mocking him all the way and doing little to ease the anger and jealousy swirling beneath his skin.

Sam is sitting in a chair with a large volume in front of him and a piece of notebook paper scribbling furiously when Dean enters the library, but he doesn't appear surprised to see his brother.

"That better be a way for use to get rid of the walking Trojan ad." Dean huffs, throwing himself into the chair across from his brother.

Please let them be using protection. The last thing I want is to be stuck here to raise super baby. I had enough problems with Jack.

Sam gives him a sympathetic look, and pushes his long hair back behind his ears. "Sorry. I'm researching a case in Kentucky, but Cas said that he'd be back in a few hours-"

"He said that ages ago! I want that asshole gone now." Dean's hand tightens on the arm of the chair, so tight that his knuckles are white.  He was happy that the library seemed to be far enough away from your room to escape the noise, but he knew it was happening, which didn’t help at all. "I don’t understand what she sees in that dick."

Sam hesitates for a moment, tapping his pen against the notebook paper.

"Just spit it out Sammy." Dean sighs.

"He might be an asshole to you, but not to her." He replies simply.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Well you're kinda…" Sam shrugs and leans back into his chair trying to find the words.

"I'm kinda what?"

"You’re kinda a dick to her." He finishes. "She's getting fed up with it. The other day she told me that she's been thinking about moving out and going back on her own. I've been trying to talk her out of it-"

Dean's blood ran cold. He hated the thought of you leaving again, it meant that he wouldn't know where you were or if you were alive and he wouldn't be able to make sure you were prepared for a hunt or at least be there to have your back if something went wrong- because let's face it, something always went wrong. "What? What the hell are you taking about?! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because she hasn't made up her mind."

"But why?"

"Because ever since the first time we’ve been going on hunts with her, you’ve been rude and-"

Dean interrupts his brother with a shout. "What? Do you expect me to hold her fucking hand? We’ve seen experienced hunters get killed out there with one simple mistake! And she’s just some amateur-"

"Dean, she's not an amateur." Sam sighs as if he can't understand why Dean was being so difficult.

He was. Sam was used to it whenever the subject of you came up in front of Dean, but honestly his brother's stubborn attitude when it came to you was annoying him.

"She is!" Dean snaps back wishing that he had a beer.

"No, she’s not." Sam shakes his head. "She’s been doing this just as long as we have. You know who her mom was and you know that her mom was just as hard on her as our dad was on you-"

At the mention of their father, Dean can feel his jaw tighten, memories flashing across his mind that he wanted to forget. The cold feeling of disapproval begins to creep up his spine to his shoulders, but Dean shakes it off. "That doesn’t matter."

"I think it does."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, Dean you keep saying that he’s you, but I'm starting to think that she's you."

"You need to stop using all those hair products Sammy, they're messing with your head-" Dean scoffs.

"Just listen to me for a minute." Sam points at him with the pen. "She might be stubborn and sarcastic on the outside, but she's not callous or emotionless. She hides what she's feeling deep down, just like you do. And I think that she likes Ben because he doesn't hurt her and he makes her feel wanted."

But I do want her.

The thought rises before Dean could stop it and he wonders if you'd spent all these years thinking that he didn't want you around when it was all he thought about. Every decision he made was to try and protect you, to put you first, and the thought that you didn't see that hurt him.

"I'd never hurt her-" Dean's voice comes out a little softer and more broken than he meant it to, catching slightly on the words.

Sam shakes his head. "Not physically. But the two of you have been doing this for years and I think that she's sick of you treating her the way you do and then she met Ben. She met another version of you who appreciates her. I know that you’re a little jealous-"

"I am not jealous!" Dean says on instinct, but Sam knows the truth, he's always known the truth, and Dean knows it too.

Sam rolls his eyes at his brother. "You should talk to her. Take Ben out of it and talk to her the way you talk to other people."

"I talk to her like I talk to other people." Dean grumbles as he gets up out of his chair intent on going to the kitchen to get a beer or something stronger to take the edge off.

"No you don't. So go talk to her." Sam waves a hand in Dean's direction before his gaze drops back down to the book.

"She's kinda preoccupied." Dean mutters under his breath and the image of you and Ben tangled up in your bed makes him flinch.

Sam looks up at his brother again, sympathy flashing in his eyes. "Dean-"

"Just leave me alone Sammy."

And with that he turns and makes his way towards the kitchen, hoping that he won't be able to hear Ben and you, and wishing that you hadn't met Ben in the first place.

Reader POV

Ben mutters something in his sleep, rolling his body towards yours so close that his muscular right arm brushes against your bare shoulder. He was laying on his stomach, his face pressed into one of your many pillows, snoring softly, and taking up most of your bed.

It wasn't hard to. The full sized bed was hardly big enough for you, let alone two people, especially not someone as tall and broad as Ben. Which became more obvious when you noticed that Ben's feet were hanging off the end.

You sigh, laying on your back and staring up at the cracks in your ceiling, unable to fall asleep. You followed each one with your eyes, tracing the shapes they made like someone watching the clouds on a hill bathed in sunlight. You'd thought that after everything Ben and you did for the past two hours you'd be able to fall asleep as easily as he did, but you couldn't because your mind was awake and roaming everywhere it could.

It wasn't that you hadn't had a good time with Ben or hadn't wanted to have sex with him. Ben didn't force you into anything. You wanted to have sex with him. You had missed him and it had been a while for you, and you liked Ben. The problem was that now, after, there was an odd feeling stirring in the pit of your stomach, something that felt surprisingly like guilt.

I have nothing to be guilty about.

You chide yourself, hands curling and uncurling on the edge of the blanket the longer you stared up at the ceiling. But it was still there, bubbling up beneath the surface. Your mind kept slipping back into the memory of Dean and you in the broken auditorium.

Each time you closed your eyes you were back in Dean's arms, looking up at him while he pushed your hair out of your face and asked you if you were alright, his eyes filled with something that looked suspiciously like worry. He'd never acted gentle or caring like that before with you and you still felt odd from everything that happened.

Fuck. What is happening to me? I just spent the last two hours with Ben, I shouldn’t be thinking about anyone else but-

You sigh again and shut your eyes, but it just brings the image back to haunt you.

You hadn't had any thoughts like this about Dean, not ever, and you didn't know why now. You'd spent years thinking that he was a big jerk who hated you, but the Dean you saw earlier today was far from that.

In the past, Dean had your back a few times, but it hadn't been like earlier. He'd never held you close, covered you with his body as if he didn't care what happened to himself as long as you were safe, and he'd never brushed your hair away with such tenderness it made your heart flutter in your chest.

No. Dean has been a total dick from the moment I met him, he hates me, he-

The thought stutters to a stop when the hurt and jealousy in Dean's eyes when you kissed Ben comes flashing back through your mind.

Does he? Or did I just interpret that wrong? Maybe it was just the hatred he had towards Ben flaring but… why does he hate Ben? He has no reason to.

But despite everything that Dean had done to you over the years, you didn't hate him.

Even though he tap danced on your last nerve whenever he opened his mouth and often made you feel stupid you couldn't, not when you saw the way he cared so much for other people. Dean Winchester was selfless, he always put other people first and was willing to sacrifice himself if it meant someone else got to be happy and got to live.

You glance at the man lying in the bed next to you. Ben was handsome and strong. He possessed some of the qualities of Dean that you found attractive, but he treated you differently. It was what drew you to him when you got trapped in Ben's reality, not just that he looked like Dean, but that Ben joked with you, teased you, and he seemed to generally care about you.

Dean didn't act that way with you. At least, you'd never seen Dean act that way before today. Today was different than any other day and you wished that it hadn't been.

Ben mutters something else, and this time he leans more towards you, his arm coming up around your waist to hold you against his side. The warmth and weight of it was familiar, but it made the feeling of guilt grow larger in your stomach.

Why is this happening? I didn’t feel guilty the last time I had sex with him.

Your eyes trace the way his dark hair has fallen into his face and over the pillow, and you reach up to push some of the strands back from his face. But with it comes the ghost of how you wanted to do the same thing to Dean earlier, that your fingertips had itched to feel his brownish golden hair in your hands.

Before he'd drifted off Ben had asked you to come with him when Cas sent him back to where he was from, said that he wanted you there with him. You had an inkling that it was the first time that Ben had asked something so serious from a woman. But you weren't convinced that it was because Ben wanted to have a relationship, rather that he didn't want to be alone.

You'd be lying if you said you weren't considering it. Ben was kinder to you, gentle (in his own way), and he seemed to appreciate having you around. But there was something holding you back.

At first you thought it was Sam. He was your best friend and you didn't want to abandon him, but there was another feeling, an ache deep down that you didn't know the cause of. Other than Sam there really wasn't anything in this universe that would hold you back from going with Ben, but obviously there was, you just couldn't figure out what.

Sure Ben's reality was fucked up… yours was too. Demons and Angels duking it out for supremacy while other creatures hid under beds and in the dark to kill people or worse wasn’t ideal either. But you weren't sure what your life could look like there. There wasn't anything to hunt which meant you'd probably be dealing with supes instead and the thought wasn’t appealing. You weren't sure that you belonged in his world.

Maybe I should have asked him to stay with me?

The thought made you bite the inside of your cheek. You'd been thinking about moving out of the bunker. Yes it was the only permanent home you'd ever known, but Dean was getting on your nerves and you thought that maybe you should get a little bit of distance from him. Moving out and Ben staying meant that he could come with you on hunts, but you weren't sure that was the solution either. Ben was strong and brave, but you weren't sure that he had the precision or the delicate side you needed when approaching a hunt to do well here.

It was these thoughts that were keeping you awake and you decide to get some water to clear them.

You slowly begin to slip out from under the covers, gently moving Ben's arm off of you as slowly as you can as to not wake him before you make your way to your dresser to find a clean pair of panties and an oversized t-shirt. Ben sighs and shifts in the bed, the sheets pulling down just a little bit so you can admire the expanse of his freckled muscular back.

You'd seen Dean shirtless before once. He had come running out of his room with his gun drawn when you'd stubbed your toe on your bedside table and yelled. He hadn't put on a shirt before coming into your room, just aggressively kicked down the door wearing only a pair of hotdog pajama pants that you did mock him relentlessly for afterward. You didn't know why he'd looked so frantic when you yelled. It was just a toe after all. There wasn't anything for him to be worried about. Sam had showed up maybe ten minutes later rubbing the sleep from his eyes not worried at all.

But you'd remembered how Dean had looked shirtless. Sometimes the thought came flying into your mind at the most inopportune times, when Dean pissed you off and stuck his face so close to yours that you could feel his breath against your lips and the warmth of his skin through he air. The thought of him shirtless with his pajama pants hung so low on his hips that you could see every single hard defined muscle of his abdomen including the ones that made smart girls like you stupid.

You slipped on the clothes, but stop before you open the door to cast one more glance at Ben.

Although you knew that Ben and your relationship was more physical, there was a part of you that believed it could grow into something more if you went with him, something that you'd been wanting for a little while. Not just Ben specifically, but with someone.

Yes you were lonely, and Ben lessened the ache whenever he was around, but sometimes you wanted more than this and being a hunter didn’t help at all.

You never met anyone or tried to have a real relationship with anyone in a long time. The last permanent boyfriend you'd had wasn't a hunter, but someone you'd met in a bar after a hunt with Dean and Sam. It lasted Four months. Four months of you missing anniversaries, dates, and his birthday. He'd accused you of cheating on him with Sam and you'd found him in bed with his work partner when you'd tried to surprise him one weekend. You hadn't been surprised. Surprising was when the guy had tried to follow after you and both Dean and Sam had blocked his path and told him to "get lost." That was putting it nicely.

Sam had to hold Dean back from breaking the guy's arm when he shouted over the two of them at you that you "weren't worth the trouble." You didn’t understand why Dean was also just as pissed at the idea of the guy cheating on you as Sam.

You shake off the thought and tiptoe out of the room in the direction of the kitchen.

The bunker was silent, the metal floors cool beneath your bare feet as you walked down the desolate hallways. You glance at Dean's closed door for a moment as you pass and the feeling in the pit of your stomach tightens. A flash of the emotions on his face when you kissed Ben in the car and at the school flickers through your mind and you clench your jaw.

What the hell is wrong with me?

When you enter the kitchen you realize that you're not alone. Dean is leaning over the metal table his large hands braced on the top, his back to you, and his head bowed. A bottle of expensive whiskey sits on the counter in front of him next to a glass with the maple colored liquid inside. But the weird thing was that this wasn't the usual stuff Dean drank. This was the bottle that he had Sam hide from him for emergencies, the stuff that you'd only seen Dean drink when he was really upset and nothing else would cut it.

But what?

He turns when he hears you walk in.

You watch his eyes darken slightly as they skate over what you're wearing making your cheeks flush. You didn’t think he was still awake. If you had, you would have wore more than your favorite Metallica t-shirt that was worn soft from years of wear. Dean's gaze catches on the end of it where it hits mid-thigh, lingering a second too long, and makes something spark in your chest.

"Sorry. I was just getting some water." You clear your throat awkwardly.

"Romeo didn't get it for you?" Dean frowns as if the thought of Ben is an annoyance to him.

"No, he's asleep." You shake your head. "I thought you were asleep too-"

"Kinda hard to be sweetheart when the two of you are shooting a porno in the room next door to mine."

You feel your cheeks flush an even brighter pink. You didn't know that Ben and you were being that loud. The bed was a little squeaky, but you hadn't worried about the sound. The icky feeling in the pit of your stomach is back, the guilt rising in a wave the more you realize how much Dean heard.

Again? Why am I guilty? Ben and I had fun, he didn't force me to do anything. I wanted to have sex with him but-

"I'm sorry. I didn't know we were being that loud." You shake off the feeling and move around Dean to get a glass from one of the shelves.

"Guess he was making up for lost time huh? All those lonely months away from you fucking other women were hard I guess." Dean's words bite through the air and made your own temper flare up.

"He's not cheating on me. We weren't exclusive-"

"But you haven't been with anyone since you came back from his world."

Your hand freezes around the glass you reached for on the shelf. Why did he notice that? And why does he care?

The flicker of emotion in Dean's eyes when you kissed Ben in the auditorium comes roaring back, jealousy and hurt. It makes the guilt worse.

You let out a breath to calm the anger that wishes to bite back at Dean's comment. "Look, I know that you don't like him, but Ben isn't a bad person and even though it's not any of your business, we had fun."

You don't know why you felt the need to justify what you'd done with, but the words are out of your mouth before you can stop them. Standing here in front of Dean felt awkward, and it never had before. And it wasn't just because of what you were wearing, there was something else charging the air between the two of you. You were expecting a giant purple elephant to appear in the corner.

Dean chuckles, his eyes dark. "Did you now?"

"Yes." You reply, but you can't hold his gaze, not when he's looking at you like that.

Dean takes a long swig from the glass in front of him, his lips curling on the edges in a cruel smirk. This was the Dean you saw more often, the one that made you feel like a failure and a bother, but it was the first time that you longed to see the soft Dean who protected you from the fallen debris.

"I could hear just how much fun the two of you were having sweetheart." He continues. "But the man who isn’t a bad person toasted a woman that he slept with without batting an eye. Imagine what he'd do to you."

"A woman who was going to kill me." You say to defend Ben. "And he wouldn't hurt me."

Dean's eyes flick down to your thighs, his gaze hardening. "What do you call those?"

You glance down at the place where your shirt meets your thighs and notice the bruises. There were five on each leg and each was a perfect imprint of Ben's fingertips. They didn't hurt and you certainly hadn't felt or noticed them before Dean pointed them out.

But you knew that Ben would never hurt you. He wasn't like that.

Sure he killed that woman today, but she was crazy and she was trying to kill me and-

"He didn't it on purpose. He's stronger than us and sometimes-"

"Don't you dare make excuses for that asshole." Dean growls eyes flashing. "I don't care if he didn't do it on purpose, he still did it. He knows how strong he is and if he can't control himself he shouldn't be sleeping with you!"

"You're being ridiculous!" Ice clinks against the sides of your glass as you make your way back towards the sink.

"No, I'm not. And I want him gone!"

"Oh really?" You snark while placing the glass under the running water in the sink. "I had no idea. You've been so calm and collected since the moment Ben showed up."

Dean opens his mouth to respond, but instead huffs out a breath and pours himself another glass. The amber colored liquid splashes against the sides of the cup as Dean violently picks it up to take another drink.

An uncomfortable silence settles over the kitchen.

The water is cold, but you can't feel it when you take a sip, and you still can't quite look at Dean.

If he really is jealous, why can't he just come out and say it? Why is he being so stubborn and nitpicking someone else?

You sigh quietly to yourself and take another sip of water. The guilt was building again, prickling beneath your skin and bringing an uncomfortable sensation in the pit of your stomach the longer you stand there.

Why am I guilty? Dean being jealous has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him!

You think about going back to your room and being done with it, but you can't something is keeping you in that kitchen with Dean just as something is keeping him there with you.

"He-um-" You swallow. "He asked me to back with him to his universe." 

Dean's entire body tenses as he explodes. "What? Are you fucking kidding me!?"

"No I-"

"Are you seriously considering that?" He demands looking at you like you're crazy.

"Yes. I am." You answer him honestly. There's something hidden beneath the surface that makes you want to tell Dean this. You're not sure if it's morbid curiosity or if it's something else, something that you can't quite place, but you want Dean to tell you what he thinks.

"But why?! You've known that asshole for five days!" Dean snaps back, but you can hear something in his voice, almost as if he's holding himself back from saying something else.

Dean please just say it! Don't keep it in!

"He's not an asshole, he's just rough around the edges." You shrug continuing to make excuses for Ben and thinking about the bruises on your thighs.

"Oh please." Dean rolls his eyes so far into the back of his head you wonder how they didn't get stuck on his brain. "If I took a piece of tree bark and ran it along his arm, he'd make it smooth."

"But-"

"Sam told me that you were unhappy here, but I didn't think you would throw your entire life away to be with that asshole!"

His words make you hesitate for a moment in surprise.

Sam told him that I was thinking about leaving? Why did he tell Dean that?

"What life Dean?" You shout, throwing your arms out to gesture to the entire room. "I don't have anything here! I can't keep a relationship because I let people down. I don't know who my dad is because he walked out on my mom as soon as he found out she was pregnant. My mom died four years ago. I go to bed every night wishing for something else to happen but-" Frustrated tears were burning in your eyes now.

You didn't want to cry in front of him, but the urge to was overpowering everything else, the emotions you tried to keep down for so long beginning to curl and reform from the dark recessive parts of your mind where you buried them the night you met Dean Winchester.

"You deserve better than that asshole!" Dean shouts over you taking another step in your direction.

"Oh and what do you think I deserve Dean? Are you saying that I deserve someone like you?

Dean grits his teeth in frustration, anger blazing behind his eyes. "No I-" He finds his words. “I can’t believe you slept with him.”

"Oh good! That dinosaur. Falling back on something familiar, what a typical Dean Winchester move!" You gesture wildly with your hands sloshing water onto the floor. "I don’t understand why you’re so upset about it. We’re both consenting adults. He didn’t force me to do anything.”

You put down the cup to avoid throwing the glass at him.

“I just don’t see why you did it!” He towers over you, his body pulled taunt with his own anger and frustration.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You shouldn’t be sleeping around with people like him!”

Is he out of his MIND?!

"Why not?" You demand, fists curling into balls at your sides because you know that it's not safe to put them anywhere else. The anger that was flaring in your chest was starting to rival how you felt the last time that Dean and you had an argument and you broke his nose. And it had just finished healing a few days ago.

"Because he treats you like a piece of meat!" Dean shouts it so loud you can hear the frying pans hanging in the kitchen clink together

"Do you even hear yourself? I have seen you in bars picking up women after a hunt-"

You had. Countless times. The bravado Dean had when the three of you were still floating on the adrenaline that was pumping through from a hunt you'd seen first hand in the bars where Sam and you sat at a one of the high top tables watching him weave through the crowds with the sound of classic rock blaring over the crackly speakers. You watched Dean find another woman for the night, saw how he tried his best lines and got what he wanted while you sat in the motel room next to his trying to read beside a sleeping Sam and avoid the noises coming from next door.

"This is different!" He fumes.

"How is it different Dean? I want to know!"

Is it different because he's jealous? Or did I just imagine that?

You didn't think that you did.

Dean's face is bright red with the force of his anger and you're sure yours must be too given how it feels like it's on fire.

"He's always touching you or kissing you, putting his fucking hands on you!" Dean's jaw is clenched tight.  "I've never heard him give you one compliment other than how you look-"

You laugh in his face, but it comes out crueler than you meant it to. "In contrast to how many compliments you give me? Because I don't think there's been any of those."

"I compliment you." He huffs back.

"Oh really?" You scoff. "When?"

Dean is quiet for a minute. His eyes drag over you again, but this time the sweep of them bring a heat vibrating against your skin and your throat gets tight. "I like your shirt."

"HA!" You shout triumphant holding up a finger. "That's looks based."

"You didn't let me finish!" He scrambles. "I like your shirt because I like that band too and you have okay taste in music."

"Oh wooowwww. I have "okay taste in music" let me just swoon right here." You wave your hand back and forth. "Fuck you. I have awesome taste in music!"

"That's not what I-"

"And who is it that should I be sleeping around with? You?!" You roll your eyes trying to take a step away from him, but he moves to intercept you.

His fists are clenched so tightly at his sides that his knuckles are white. “I didn’t say that! Don’t put words in my mouth.”

His green eyes darken as he stares down at you, the fluorescent lights above the two of you catching the familiar hard lines of his face. Even though Dean looked like Ben, he still looked like himself in his own way. The familiar crows feet that graced under his eyes, the subtle tilt of his head, the rough stubble that pebbled over his chin and cheeks, the soft freckles, and the green eyes that you always found on you. There was a small scar just barely visible on the bridge of his nose and a few flecked on the edges of his face that made him more handsome.

You'd noticed how handsome he was in the past, but never like this. You'd never looked at Dean as other than someone who annoyed you. And yes he was annoying you now, but there was something else that you could feel threatening to explode, something you buried deep down and refused to unearth.

“I’m not putting words in your mouth Dean, I’m trying to figure out why this is such a big deal to you!”

Why is it a big deal?

“It just is!"

"Why? Because you're jealous?!" You hadn't meant to say it, but Dean's body goes taunt again.

"I am not jealous. I just don’t want you sleeping with him!”

“I think you are! And you’re not my dad Dean. You don’t get to decide who I sleep with!” You'd had enough of hearing him yell at you, of hearing him bitch about something that wasn't any of his business.

Who does he think he is? We're not together.

“That’s not what this is about-“

“Then what is it about Dean?! Why are you so hung up on something that is none of your business?!”

"It is my business!"

"How? How is it your business? Because you think that Ben is you somehow?"

"He is me!" Dean roars again and you wished he would stop saying it, because it was snagging on something in your chest.

A lie that you told yourself when you first started sleeping with Ben. You knew it. That you liked Ben because he looked like Dean and he appreciated you, that he didn't make you feel stupid, or ugly or not worth his time.

"No, he's not!" You shout back shaking off the feelings for what you hope is the final time. “Why do you care so much about this?!”

“Because I-“ Dean shouts, eyes narrowed at you. “Because I just do!”

“WHY?” You poke your finger into his chest. “I don’t care who you think you are. You don’t get to tell me who I can and cannot sleep with!"

“I’m not trying to!”

“Yes you are! And I am so sick of your bullshit Winchester. This is none of your business. None of this is. It's my life! So why don't you just take your unneeded opinion and-"

The rest of your sentence evaporates into thin air as Dean grabs your shoulders so tight you're sure they're be bruises and pulls you in for a searing kiss.

Your body is frozen in shock, the warmth of his lips against yours holding a softness that you'd never known.

Everything about this kiss is different than the ones you'd share with Ben. You knew better than to compare them, but Ben kissed like he meant to devour you. He wasn't hesitant or afraid to take what he wanted when he kissed you, but Dean?

Dean kissed like he wanted you to understand and that he wished to understand himself. Dean's kiss was passionate, filled with enough emotion that it left you breathless. Ben was never afraid to take what he wanted but Dean, he was almost asking, trying to let you understand, and trying to listen to what you wanted.

But just as he deepens the kiss you push him away and slap him across the face. The sharp sound rings through the kitchen and for a moment all you can do is stare at him shocked while the red mark on his face forms.

"What the hell was that for?" Dean shouts, but the emotion in his eyes wasn't anger, it was hurt.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" You shout back still out of breath. The ghost of his lips presses against yours and the taste of the whiskey remains on the tip of your tongue.

"I thought that-" He clears his throat, eyes widening.

"Thought what?"

"That you wanted me to-"

"To what? Kiss me?" The frustration was building again, because yes it had felt good to kiss him, but you hated that he was doing this now. That after years of him hating you, now when you had the possibility of being happy Dean was making this harder for you.

"Well-"

"No." You poke your finger into his chest, and this time you can't hold back the tears. They slip from your eyes, hot against your skin, as you feel every emotion that you'd kept bottled up beginning to surge up in a wave. "You don't get to do this Dean. Not now. Not after years of you treating me like shit."

Dean sighs and reaches for you, but you pull back from him. Hurt flashes in his eyes again and you can feel your own in the center of your chest. "I didn't-"

"Yes, you did. Damn it Dean, I'm not some shiny toy the two of you can fight over."

"That's not what I'm doing!"

"Then why now?" You ask in a half sob.

Dean pauses. "What?"

"Why after years of you hating me-"

"I never hated you." Dean's voice is more of a whisper than anything else.

"Oh bullshit. Yes you do!" You raise your hand to scrub at your cheeks, the tears falling quicker now.

It was the first time that you'd allowed yourself to cry in front of him, and you were fighting the urge to run back to your room. Ben was still there and you didn't know how the hell you were going to explain to you why you were crying.

"Will you just shut your damn mouth for five seconds and let me talk!?" He snaps running his hand through his hair, frustrated.

"Don't you dare tell me to shut up."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm going to break your nose again if you do!"

"You need to because I'm trying to explain-"

"Explain what? Explain that you've completely lost your mind? Explain that all the years of you undermining me, making me feel like a burden, teasing me, yelling at me, making me feel like I was stupid, and driving me absolutely insane, has just been you trying to say that you love me?!"

You hadn't meant to shout that at him. Hadn't meant to say the word love, but now it was there hovering in the air between the two of you. Dean's eyes are locked with yours and you don't think he's taken a breath since you spoke.

Because love was a little word, only four letters, but why did it always seem so heavy? How could one word have the same weight as a loaded gun? How could something so small cause so much pain and so much hurt?

"Yes." Dean looks down at the ground, not able to meet your eyes. He looks ashamed and you can't find the words to fill the silence.

Because Dean Winchester was in love with you. The man who you'd always thought hated you, who you thought wished that you were never around, and who you thought believed you to be an annoyance.

Holy shit.

"I-" He swallows. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how much I hurt you. All I wanted was for you to be safe and to talk to me the way you talk to Sam." His voice is quiet, just a soft rumble, but you can hear a tremor on the edge of his words. "I didn't mean to make you hate me."

The words strike you right in the center of your chest and it shocks you so much that you stop crying. You'd seen different sides of Dean before. Seen him angry, happy, annoyed, frustrated, sad… but Dean Winchester had never looked broken around you, not like this, and certainly not over you. Whenever something went wrong Dean would isolate himself from you in his room with a bottle of something to numb the pain. It made you feel like someone was gutting out your insides with a pitchfork.

The silence grows between the two of you again, and his head is still bowed and looking down at the floor in shame.

You exhale softly, controlled by something that you're not sure, and reach out towards Dean's face.

He flinches back from you, eyes rimmed red, looking at you suspiciously as if he believes you're going to break his nose. In hindsight, you supposed it was a reasonable fear to have since you'd done it in the past.

"What are you doing?" He asks, voice cracking. Dean's green eyes have dimmed, looking more like an aged jade pot that's sat outside in the sun for too long.

"Please shut up." You sniffle, the end of your mouth twitching into a smile, before you place your hands on the sides of Dean's face and pull him down to you.

The kiss is quick, only a brush of your lips against his to give yourself a taste and when it's done you pull back letting your hands fall to your sides. You're not sure why you did that. Maybe it's because Dean admitted to loving you and he looks like a lost puppy, but-

Dean steps forward into the space, his hands reaching towards your face, and you flinch.

“What are you-“

“Please shut up.” Dean murmurs, echoing the words you'd whispered to him moments ago.

His hands are rough and warm against your cheeks. Worn from years of carrying a gun in his hand and hard work he never shied away from. But they’re nothing but gentle against your skin as he pulls your face to his.

You could be standing on the surface of the sun and not feel as hot as you do now. A volcano could erupt and bathe you in lava and you would just scoff at it like it was a normal day, because kissing Dean feels infinite. It's all consuming. The scrub of his five o'clock shadow against your cheeks, the slide of his hands down your arms that bring goosebumps in their wake, the smell of his shampoo that you always catch when you walk into the bathroom, the nudge of his nose into your cheek, and the soft supple welcome of his lips that draw the breath from your lungs all take you somewhere otherworldly.

You couldn't stop. It was a compulsion, like magnets, like it was something you wanted to do for so long but buried it deep down to avoid the inevitable. Fueled by the belief that Dean would push you away, because Dean Winchester hated you.

But he didn't, he never did.  And in the kiss is something else, years of emotions the two of you pushed down, years of being frenemies of almost losing each other, years of ignoring what was developing between the two of you, and years of watching the other fall for the wrong person.

Dean moans softly into your mouth and picks you up, his muscular arms fitting under your legs to place you on the counter, not pulling away at all and stepping into the space between them to fit himself closer to you. Your hands come to the back of his head, tangling in the short strands at the nape of his neck, shuffling your nails through his hair in a way that makes Dean shudder and pull you tighter to his chest.

Dean pulls back from you out of breath, but rests his forehead against yours, as if any further is too far from you and he doesn't wish to ever let you go.

"I don't hate you Dean." You whisper before he can say anything. "I can't. And I was only with Ben because I thought that this could never happen because you hated me-"

Dean's lips fall against yours taking your next words with it. "I don't hate you. I never did."

"Then why?"

He sighs. "I hated that you were a hunter, that this was your life, that you'd been doing this for so long with no one helping you."

"I'm okay."

"I know that, but I-" Dean hesitates. "I shouldn't have done what I did, but I didn't think that you'd want this-"

"This?"

"Me." Dean closes his eyes leaning further against you, almost as if he can’t hold himself up.

"Why?" Your grip on the back of his neck tightens.

"Because I'm-" He tries to find the word. "I'm not perfect. I'm a jealous asshole. I've done terrible things, made you cry.” He sighs. “You deserve better."

You kiss him softly. "There is no one better. I'm not looking for perfect, I'm looking for human. There's nothing wrong with making a mistake and being imperfect. The imperfections are what make you, you." Your fingers curl into the hair at the nape of his neck. "Dean, you're not a bad person. You are the most selfless man I have ever met. And maybe you've messed up a few times, but I have too. Do you think I'm a bad person for the things I've done?"

There was a list of them that seemed to grow longer each day and it was difficult not to dwell on the things of the past. But standing here with Dean, watching the weight settle on his shoulders, while he told you that he didn't think he was enough for you made you throw it all away.

"No.”

“Do you think that I’m not deserving of love?”

“No. But-"

 You shush him. "Then don’t talk that way about the man I love."

Dean's eyes widen, but you watch the end of his lips twitch into a smile. "You love me?"

"Yeah." You whisper. "I think I always have, but I was afraid because you were-"

His mouth falls over yours so fast you don’t have time to finish the thought. "I love you too."

Your heart flutters in your chest with his words.

"Kinda hard not to." His thumbs stroke along your hip bone over the soft t-shirt sending electricity dancing along your spine.

You smirk. "You're right. I am pretty great."

"I think the word you're looking for is high maintenance." Dean smirks back at you.

"Aww… That means I'm out of your league and you're lucky to have me in your life." You giggle with a smile.

"I am." He murmurs, nudging his nose forward into yours moving in for another kiss.

Someone clears their throat from the other side of the room drawing your eye. Ben is leaning against the doorway dressed in his suit, watching where you're wrapped up in Dean's arms.

Any warm feelings you were having standing there with Dean immediately evaporate and the guilt comes roaring back. You'd forgotten that Ben was still here and you felt bad for him. You didn't want him to think that you used him.

"Ben I-" You begin to stutter, but he only shakes his head at you.

"You don't gotta explain anything doll, I know what this was." Ben smirks, but you see something flicker in his gaze for just a second before its gone.  "And I'm man enough to admit when I'm beat. Even if I don't like it."

"But-" You try to say again.

Oh this is so awkward.

"Don't do me any favors sweetheart, we had fun." Ben shrugs. "That's all this was."

Cas walks into the room with Sam at his heels, who looks much too smug when he spies where Dean has you on the counter. You push Dean back and stand up, while Dean shoots daggers with his gaze leveled at Sam.

Sam isn't phased, but chooses not to say anything.

Ben rolls himself off the doorway and walks confidently to where Dean and you are standing, extending his hand towards Dean. "You take care of her." Ben's eyes flick to you for a second before focusing more on Dean. "She's special."

The hand of guilt on your throat tightens just a little more, because somewhere you wondered if Ben really was as aloof as he seemed or if he had started to care about you a little more than he let on.

"I will." Dean's smile is forced, and you see him squeeze Ben's hand a little tighter as he does.  It only makes Ben smirk wider.

Cas begins to write the symbol on the floor taking care with each intricate detail to open the portal, but you stop him at the last minute.

"Wait." You take a step forward and hug Ben tightly. "Thank you."

"You're thanking me for fucking you?" Ben snorts throwing a smug look in Dean's direction that makes Dean bristle. "Guess I am a gift."

"Shut up." Your cheeks blaze bright red and you hear Dean growl something under his breath. "No, just thank you. For being here."

Ben hesitates. He raises his hand to your cheek, fingers tracing along your skin before he brushes away some of your hair. It was a gentle gesture from him, one that you weren't accustomed to. The emotion in his eyes shifts to something else, but he hides it with a smirk. "You're welcome sweetheart."

"Maybe you'll meet the me from your reality." You say, because you're not sure what else you can say, not when Ben is looking at you like that.

The entire situation was again reaching soap opera proportions and there was only so much you could take before you drove your car off a cliff.

The truth was, you did like Ben. You thought he was attractive, bold, strong, but there was always something a little gentle that lurked under the surface he never let anyone else see.

But you loved Dean. He understood what it was like to be a hunter, understood what it was like to not be able to live up to someone's expectations, and he loved you. You couldn't see a life with Ben, but you could see one with Dean. Ben didn't belong in your world and you didn't belong in his.

Ben's smirk twitches. "Maybe. But she won't be the same as you doll."

Dean clears his throat and steps forward to pull you back into his chest possessively. "I think your ride's leaving." You don't have to look up into his face to know he's frowning.

Ben chuckles. "You know what kid? You're alright." His eyes flick back to yours. "You give me a call if you get bored with him."

"She won't." Dean snaps. “And don’t call me kid.”

Ben only laughs at him and steps closer to Cas as he begins to finish the ritual and when the portal finally opens, Ben goes through without looking back.

And you don’t feel guilty anymore, because you knew that Ben understood.

"Finally." Dean breathes a sigh of relief that makes you snort, dropping his head to your shoulder. It was so casual that you had to remind yourself that Dean loved you and you loved him.

Sam clears his throat. "Hey Cas will you help me with something in the library-"

"What do you have to do in the library?" Cas frowns at him confused.

"Just something come on-"

"But why-"

"CAS!" Sam shouts casting an obvious look in the direction of where Dean and you are standing.

Cas looks at the two of you. "Are they coming with us to the library?"

Sam huffs out a frustrated breath and grabs Cas by the back of his trench coat to drag him out of the kitchen so Dean and you can have a few moments alone.

You snort at the confused look on Cas's face when Sam drags him out, before you turn your body in his arms to look up into Dean's handsome face. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to be jealous of yourself?"

"I thought he wasn't me?" Dean smirks, his eyebrow arching with his tease. His fingers are resting resolutely on your hips, thumbs softly trailing in circles.

"He is a little bit." You admit defeated. "But don't look so smug Winchester."

"I think I'm allowed to be a little bit." His smirk grows and he leans his face down to yours. Instead of feeling angry at the appearance of his smirk it only makes you smile.

Standing here in the aftermath made you see Dean in a different light, made your heart buckle and jump in your chest the longer you stood there in the kitchen basking in the warmth that began to bloom in your chest.

"Maybe…" You gently touch the front of his buffalo print flannel, smoothing the fabric beneath your fingertips. It looked good on him, very little looked bad on Dean.

"Do you regret staying with me?" He mutters.

"What?" You glance back up to see his face and notice that he's not smiling, he's frowning at you, and his eyes aren't as bright.

Dean clears his throat. "Well you seemed like you were really going to miss him and-"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence. You throw your arms around his neck and pull him back down to you, putting you everything you have into the kiss, hoping that Dean can feel how you have no regrets staying with him, that all you want is him.

"Dean Winchester." You breathe, moving your hands to cup his cheeks so he can't look away from you. "I do not regret staying with you, because I love you." You pull him as close to you as you can, his warm hands splayed over your back. "This is where I belong." You kiss him on the tip of his nose. "And this is where you belong. With me."

Dean's eyes warm the longer you hold his gaze. "I'm starting to believe you."

"Anything that I can do to convince you?"

"I can think of a few things…"

Ben/Soldier Boy POV

"Stupid, fucking piece of shit!" Ben growled at the computer monitor in front of him that had a bright red ERROR message splayed across it.

It had been two days since he'd left your reality, and he was trying his best to shove away the disappointment at the fact that you hadn't decided to come back with him. It wasn't that Ben wanted more than what the two of you had, it was that he liked having someone to talk to or try to talk to, and you were a good listener.

He didn’t like opening up to people, but there was something about you. He could trust you and Ben hadn't found anyone he could trust since he got back from Russia.

Ben also wasn't about to admit that he was lonely, he had plenty of women who were eager to warm his bed, but there was something about you that always made him feel different. He wasn't sure what that was exactly.

He'd also be lying if he said that he had wanted to explore it a little more if you'd come with him to his reality. The thought of you staying with him for an extended period of time in his apartment hadn't been unwelcome. Ben had never allowed other women to stay more than a day, but you… Ben would have let you stay as long as you wanted to.

Fuck.

He knew that he wasn't in love with you, but Ben knew he liked having you around. He liked being friends with you and he liked fucking you.

And yes he was disappointed that you had chosen Dean instead of him, but at the same time Ben didn't blame you. You had a history with Dean and when you'd been forced into Ben's reality, you'd talked to him a lot about Dean. Ben knew that you liked Dean more than you cared to admit.

But there was still an unwelcome feeling in the pit of his stomach that Ben wasn't accustomed to.

Ben huffed out a breath to push away the thoughts, while looking at what was left of the keyboard on his desk. The keys were scattered across the wooden top like bits of confetti, broken easily underneath his large fingertips when he'd tried to write an email

When he'd come back from Russia, Ben had taken a job working for the Department of Supe Affairs, but he was "grounded" due to the "anger issues" that he swore he didn't have, and because he didn't listen to Butcher whenever he gave him an order.

I don't need to follow orders. I'm Soldier Boy! I should be giving the orders!

Basically it meant that he was stuck on a desk indefinitely until Annie January, the new department head, released him. She'd also ordered that Ben go to company mandated therapy sessions once a week. He'd refused to go, but after Annie threatened him with termination of his contract, which meant that Ben would have gone back to being someone who "looked like someone who used to be famous," he'd gone to therapy.

And he refuses to admit this to anyone… but he liked it. Someone who was paid to listen to him bitch for a whole hour about whatever pissed him off and actually kept their trap shut was just what he needed.

Sometimes it reminded him of when he would talk to you, but there were still things that he refused to tell anyone and some of those things he had told you.

Ben ran his hand through his hair frustrated at his predicament. He would have liked to go into the field and take out some of his frustration on another supe, but Annie refused to give.

Ben didn't like listening to women, but even he had to admit Annie had a set of brass balls and he respected her for it. She didn’t take shit from anyone and especially didn't listen to Ben's bitching over why he should be in the field instead of being chained to a desk.

"Oi you all right mate?" Butcher calls and Ben can hear the shit eating grin without looking up from his computer screen.

The error message was still displayed in bright red letters, mocking him.

Ben knows that Butcher doesn't give a shit, and is probably about to start teasing him about his inability to adapt to modern day technology.

It wouldn't be the first time.

"Don't you have something better to do? Like fucking that little bitch that Annie is ploughing?" Ben spits back, clicking on the mouse but all it does is bring up another error message in another language.

"Oh mon ami, that doesn't look good." Frenchie walks by to stare at the computer screen that has now gone slightly fuzzy.

"I don’t think that's going to fix it mate." Butcher laughs. " But I called IT."

"I don’t need any of those four-eyed fucks helping me!" Ben snaps turning to narrow his eyes at Butcher.

He's holding a white cup of tea, wearing his usual long trench coat and Hawaiian shirt, with the shit eating grin that Ben knew Butcher was going to have when he looked up.

The last thing Ben needed was some nerd telling him everything that he did wrong. He was already on a first name basis with the director of the IT department, who was a little weasel of a man and who no longer picked up the phone when Ben called to yell at him.

"I think you're gonna want to listen to this particular four eyed fuck. She's new." Butcher gloats. "But don’t say I never did anything for you Soldier Boy."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Ben shouts at Butcher's back, but he's already gone.

Ben turns back to the error message that has begun to flash an even brighter red and now has a countdown.

"Fuck, fuck fuck-" Ben growled and to remedy the situation he puts his fist through the computer screen. It makes a high pitched electrical popping sound, showering his desk in sparks, while the overhead lights flicker, before the screen goes completely black.

Ben was not stupid, but he was a little slow when it came to modern day technology. He was doing better than he had initially, but it was taking him a longer time to understand using his desktop computer at work than his cell phone.

"Hi, I'm from IT. Mr. Butcher called and said that you might need a little help." The voice was small and tentative, coming from somewhere on Ben's left.

"I don't need any help. Especially not from a fucking four-" Ben started to growl, but then he looked up and the words died in his throat.

Because the person standing next to his desk was you.

This version of you looked different. Ben was used to seeing someone in old band t-shirts, worn blue jeans, and flannel shirts, someone who carried themselves confidently and had a hardness surrounding their outer exterior that simply said "don't fuck with me."

But this version of you was softer and a little gentle. Your hair was longer and pushed back from your face by a simple black headband, you were wearing dark framed glasses, an oversized cardigan sweater that covered a simple pair of blue jeans, a striped blouse, and a pair of dark blue converse. The converse made Ben smile. He hadn't seen anyone wearing Chuck Taylors in a little while and it was a welcome sight, something from the past that he actually recognized.

The version of you Ben knew from Dean's universe flashed through Ben's mind again. She was more confident and outgoing, but you looked a little shy, hiding back in the cardigan and using the iPad in your hands as a welcome distraction to looking Ben in the eyes and like a shield.

He thought it was cute.

As much as Ben liked the version of you he knew who didn't shy away from anything, Ben found himself smiling at this one. You were definitely more soft spoken and a little less confident, but Ben could see a sweetness and sincerity in your eyes that he hadn't come across since he came back to the US.

It was the thing that always made him trust the other version of you, the part of him that made him want to tell the other version of you things that he hadn't told other people.

"I'm sorry." You say, even though you have nothing to be sorry about. "I-"

"No. I'm sorry." Ben clears his throat awkwardly and for the first time in a long time he feels nervous. He wasn't sure why that was, not to mention he never apologized to anyone, ever, but he didn't want to scare you away.

"It's okay." You give him a soft smile. "Computers can be frustrating, but sometimes it’s better not to put your fist through the screen."

Ben chuckles. "Probably not my best work."

You shake your head, a wider smile on your face, the motion of it sending the smell of your perfume over him, something floral and a little old fashioned. You look at the remnants of the computer and bite the inside of your cheek deep in thought.

Ben found himself tracing the furrow of your brows and the scrunch of your nose. You were beautiful in every reality to him.

"Well, Mr. Soldier Boy I don't think-"

"Please call me Ben." He interrupts.

Ben wondered if you were this shy all the time and if you'd be just as shy if he took you to bed. He wanted to find out.

Ben had slept with many women in his lifetime and he was usually drawn to women who were more confident and outgoing, sure of themselves, but there was something about your shy attitude that Ben found attractive.

"Ben." You say it in the soft voice of yours, cheeks flushed a little bit as if you're embarrassed to say it. "I don't think that there's anything I can do for this." Your hand waves over the computer. "But I can go talk to my boss and tell him you need another one."

"I'll go with you." Ben stood up.

He didn’t want to let you out of his sight, not when a part of him worried that you weren’t really there or you would evaporate into nothing before his very eyes.

"Oh, it's okay. You don't have to-" You stammer, shaking your head, and not quite looking at him as if making eye contact was a little harder for you.

"I want to." Ben smiles at you. He hears your heart beat quicken and can hear the small intake of breath you have when he smiles. "He's an asshole and I don't want him to chew you out for something I did." Ben explains.

It was partly true. The guy was an asshole. Not to mention, Butcher had said it was your first day and Ben wasn’t going to stand by and have the head of the IT department screaming at you when you had done nothing wrong.

"Oh." You clear your throat, cheeks blushing that cute pink color that makes Ben smile wider. "Well if you'll just follow me."

He hadn’t met someone like you in a long time. And even though he liked the other version of you, Ben was starting to like this one more.

"To the ends of the Earth doll." Ben winks and watches the flush of your cheeks deepen to a crimson and hears the way your heart buckles and jumps when he does.

And the longer he stands there watching you blush, Ben begins to feel an odd feeling flicker in the pit of his stomach racing up into his chest that he’d never felt before and for the first time in a long time Ben was curious to see where it could lead.

A/N: Alright we made it to the end and everyone got a happy ending! Thank you again everyone for all the love and support while I was writing this mini-series 💗

Reveal of the Poll:

🥫: Meeting the reader from Ben's Universe in a grocery store.

💻: Meeting the reader from Ben's Universe in the IT department.

Personally I liked the IT more, and the problem is now I really like the shy reader with Ben. They are so cute and now I'm hyperfixated on Ben with a shy reader so we'll see where that goes 🤣

Thank you so much for reading! As always likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated, but are not required. I love hearing what y'all think!

Taglist For It's Not A Big Deal:

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[matchpointfaist]

won't you save me? ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

sheltered art x flirty reader pt ii

the second time art saw you, you were clean from your usual messy makeup, your hair pulled into a bun and a pink hoodie covering the frame he'd become uncomfortably familiar with. you had a coffee in one hand and a vape in the other, looking irritated and frazzled and not at all how he'd seen you the week prior.

he must have been too lost in thought to watch where he was going, or maybe you had him under some sort of trance, but next thing he knew his shirt was covered in iced coffee, and you were looking up at him with wide eyes, apologies spilling from your lips in record time.

"oh! oh, gosh, no, it's alright," he rambled, the cold liquid slicking his shirt to his chest. "it's my fault, i wasn't paying attention-" his breath caught as you pulled the hoodie over your head, leaving you in a lace trimmed tank top, much tighter than the pink fabric had been. just as he started to gain some composure, your hands were on him, blotting his shirt with your jacket like it was the most obvious solution in the world.

"i'm such a clutz," you laughed regretfully, wiping his shirt down, "i am so sorry," "it's okay!" his voice was suddenly hoarse, his face hot and hands shaking, "i can clean it up, don't ruin your hoodie," "i don't mind," and there it was- that smile that weakened his knees, the one he'd seen you giving all the boys at that stupid frat party, this time directed at him. and oh god, he was fucked.

"you're art, right?" you asked, pulling the hoodie away to survey the condition of his t shirt, "donaldson?" "yeah!" it came out quicker than he would've liked, "uh, yes, that's me. i didn't know we knew each other,"

"oh, i try to make a habit of knowing all the tennis boys," he could've sworn you were teasing him, "especially the blonde ones," "w-why's that?" he borderline squeaked, "do you like tennis, i mean?"

"sure, somethin like that," you grinned, and dear god, you winked at him, "cute necklace,"

and then, when art thought it couldn't get any worse, your black fingernails were on his silver crucifix, your eyes inspecting it curiously, "you christian?"

"catholic," he nearly choked out, "i- it's a crucifix, when they nailed him to the cross-" "i know what a crucifix is, donaldson," you rolled your eyes, but your smile was back; oh god, your smile.

"well i have to get to class," his heart was pounding, the tent in his sweats threatening to give him away, to expose him and all his impure thoughts and fantasies- your hand was on his arm. and he was so fucking gone.

"you should call me sometime," you said softly, your eyes all wide and sweet and your lashes were so long and oh god, there he was, thinking about your on your knees again. "i don't have your number," was all he managed, his breath stuck in his tightening throat.

"give me your phone," it was like a command, like you were controlling his actions, because before he could even think, you were typing your number into his cell and passing it back to him with another wink.

"see you, artie," you grinned, patting his shoulder, "oh, and you might wanna do some extra praying to make up for all that," you giggled as your eyes fell to his thighs, to the obvious tent, to the very thing he'd been so desperate to hide.

before he could protest, or make some last ditch excuse, you were gone, the smell of your perfume lingering enough to nearly make his mouth water.

he watched you go, each sway of your hips adding to the tension, adding to the twisted longing he felt for you.

that night, he hovered over your contact, debating what he'd even say to you. 'hey, it's art. i think i'm in love with you.' 'hi! it's art. i jerked off to you last week.' 'hey, it's art donaldson. you make me question my faith.' finally, 'hey, it's art, from earlier.'

your reply came minutes later, the vibration off his phone interrupting his nightly prayer, and he tried to ignore the guilt as he paused his talk with god to begin his arguably more important talk with you.

'hi, art from earlier.' you'd sent, 'whatcha doin?'

'fantasizing about you.' 'just getting ready for bed. you?'

'same.' and then there it was, and he felt sick, he felt restless and needy and depraved and you were on his screen, a selfie of you in your silk pajamas, your hair down just barely covering your chest and his own chest was growing so very tight, his breathing restricted, his eyes taking in every single detail.

'oh.' was all he could manage to reply, shifting uncomfortably in his boxers, his skin flushed, 'goodnight then.'

'night, artie :) hope you handled your little problem from earlier.'

oh, he'd handle it. god, he wished you could handle it for him.

[reginaphalangelobster125]

Sweetheart

Steve Rogers x Reader feat. Avengers

Summary: A simple game slowly leads to a lifetime.

Warnings: a few swear words, some very hot scenes, fluffity fluff, mutual pining, mentions of nomad Steve specifically his hair and beard (yes! that's a warning), reader wearing Steve's hoodie (also a warning, gets me every time, and yes I did write a whole fic about it Hoodie)

Word Count: 3.5k

Notes: I wrote this with a female reader in mind but I think it works for any gender, there are no pronouns used and no use of Y/n, Steve calls reader sweetheart.

Everyone was drinking and having a good time. Tony remembered something he had seen earlier in the day and decided now was the best time to bring it up.

"Y-You know it's weird how fasc-cinated the public is with us" He slurred, waving his scotch around and spilling it slightly.

"How's that, Tones?" You questioned while blinking abnormally fast.

"I saw a-a thhhing on my phone, said vote on each 'venger's best look"

"Like Nat's 'I'm gonna kill you so bad' look?"

"No, ap-pearanceses"

"Ooooh, that's kinda strange, isn't it?"

"What?" Stephen asked as he flung his head up, only hearing the word 'strange'.

"Not you, Dr Otter" You and Tony replied at the same time followed by a small exclamation of acknowledgement.

"It's like a quiz" Tony continued.

"What?" Clint asked.

"The thing I was just talking about"

"Oh, right. A quiz?"

"Yeah, wanna do it?"

"I don't know, I'm not good on tests"

"It's not- It's opinions, not right or wrong"

"Okay, shoot"

Tony cast his phone to the large TV in front of everyone and started the quiz.

"What is the le-legendary genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, Tony Stark himself, 's best look?" He read off the screen.

"You always look pretty much the same" Nat stated.

"First one, little scruffy" Steve said simply.

"Yeah, his hair's cute when it's floppy, like you could run a hand through it and it'd still look adorable" You agreed.

"Adorable? Drunk you is pretty honest, this is gonna be fun" Tony smirked "Natasha Romanoff, the fierce woman of the avengers"

"Oh God" She sighed.

"The half red half blonde, super cute, especially in a braid" You smiled at her.

"I'd have to agree" Bruce added.

"Next, The God of Thunder and long hair, what's Thor's best look?"

"Ooh, the short one!" You exclaimed.

"How dare you?! That was not consensual!" Thor boomed.

"Sorry sweetie, but you've got to admit, it was hot"

"Pfft!" Loki laughed out.

"Did you just go pfft? You don't pfft" Bruce turned to him.

"My brother is not that hot"

"I think Happy's shirt would beg to differ" You counter.

"What about your mug?"

"I don't know what you are referring to"

"The mug that has 'This meeting would be a lot better if one of you were Loki' written across it"

"Oh, that mug. That and Happy's shirt were gag gifts from Tony, like Cap's Cap cap"

"Pardon?"

"Tony got Steve a cap with his Captain America logo on it, so it's Cap's Cap cap"

"You mortals are pointlessly confusing"

"Alright next question, speaking of Gods, Loki the God of Mischief and sexiness has great hair as everyone knows but what look suits him best?"

"I am beginning to like this quiz after all"

"Christmas tree" Nat states blankly.

"I am not beginning to like this. What do you mean Christmas tree?!"

"In New York, your hair had the outline of a Christmas tree. Don't look at me like that, they put tinsel in it" She points to you and Sam.

"ThAt WaS yOu?!"

"He dared me!"

"You said dare me to put tinsel in Loki's hair, I didn't do shit"

"Until I had the tinsel"

"Well it was already there"

"By the great heavenly kingdom of Valhalla I swear I will-"

"Tony, why don't we just move onto the next question?" Steve tried to diffuse the situation before Loki turned everyone into frogs, again.

"The question we've all been waiting for, the most gorgeous avenger, Bucky Barnes!"

"He's the most gorgeous?" Nat asked, a twinge of jealously in her tone.

"You're way prettier than Bucky" You reassured her.

"Hey?" Bucky lightly hit your arm.

"She is" You shrugged.

"Stevie, who's prettier?" Bucky looked to his friend.

"I don't want to choose between my friends"

"Come on, Captain"

"Uh, um.....neither"

"What?" They both blurted out in shock.

"You are" He said softly as he looked into your eyes.

"Th-thank you" You blushed.

"Of course he picked you" Bucky grumbled.

"And last but certainly not least, the very handsome face of the Avengers, Steve Rogers"

"Nomad Steve" You spoke a little too quickly.

"Really?" He asked you.

"Uh-yeah"

"Oh I toootally agree" Sam responded "That slightly long hair, a little unkept"

"And that beard" Bucky agreed.

"And the way he looks like he could just pin you up against a wall and-" You saw everyone looking at you and Steve's face covered in a bright red blush "I'm oversharring again, aren't I?"

"Yes" Bruce said, sitting in the corner, just a little mortified.

"I think that's enough for the night, I'm going to bed" You almost beckon from halfway down the hall already.

You thought that would be the end of the topic, after a while you didn't really think of it at all. Not long after, Steve had to go on a mission and boy did he have a surprise for you when he got back. The mission lasted about a month and you were really beginning to miss him. One evening you opened the door to your room and felt something behind you, someone. They pushed you into your room and slammed the door shut, they spun you around and you saw that it was Steve. You lit up instantly by just seeing his face, he had grown his beard back and his hair was a little messy and longer. Just as you were about to open your mouth to compliment him on the new-old look he pushed you against the wall, no, he pinned you against the wall. He held your wrists tight by your sides, you saw the look of desire in his dark clouded eyes. Before you knew it his lips were on yours, moving fiercely and hastily, full of passion and lust. As he pulled away he bit your bottom lip lightly, causing you to let out a soft whimper. The sound almost making him drop his tough exterior.

"This what you wanted?" His voice was deep and rough, making your body quiver.

"God yes" You breathed out shakily.

He transferred his grip on your wrists to your waist. He lifted you like you were nothing, like you weighed less than a feather. You wrapped your legs around his hips and grasped his neck in your hands, clinging on and keeping him close. He held you up against the wall as he continued kissing you roughly, deeply. You could feel your stomach aching, your whole body was aching, for him. He could feel the heat radiating off you as he trail open mouthed kisses down your jaw and it was addictive. You tilted your head back and to the side, giving him better access to your neck. He found that soft spot under your ear that made you moan so sweetly and his lips latched on. He sucked and bit marks that were sure to turn bright purple and he ran his tongue back over the spot gently, soothing your inflamed skin.

He kept up this pace, kissing and sucking and biting and licking all over your neck and upper chest. You tugged on his hair, rough enough that it made him bite your shoulder, hard. The sensation of his teeth sinking that far into you made you throw your head back even further and let out an almost primal, animalistic moan that just spurred him on all the more.

His fingers dug into your hips, certain to leave bruises you would admire for days. He pulled you off the wall and sat you on your dresser.

"Y-you know" You began, your words near breathy moans at this point "The bed's over there"

"Soon. First I want you on every surface possible"

His tone mixed with his words made your breath hitch, you could've sworn your heart stopped for just a moment. One of his hands came up and ripped your shirt off. He tossed it to the side and you toyed with the hem of his. You pulled it up slowly, running your fingers over the taught muscles of his body. You pulled the shirt over his head and when his hands returned to you they were on your thighs. His lips flew down your neck and to your chest. He kissed every inch of you within his reach, the feel of him all over you, hot and wet. He undid the top button of your pants and lifted you again. Your hands moved from his neck and discarded your pants on the floor. He carried you to the couch and laid you down. He hovered over you and you scrambled for his belt.

"Uh uh, not yet" The teasing in his tone made you squirm under him.

"Well that's not very fair is it?"

"Life's not fair sweetheart"

He continued his mission, his mouth was all over you. He moved down the couch, sitting between your legs. It was quite a sight, Steve Rogers, Captain America, America's golden boy, situated between your legs, looking up at you with the gaze of a starved animal. He took one of your legs, started at your ankle and kissed his way down. The contrast between your silky smooth skin and his rough scratchy beard made you grateful to be alive. He moved tantalisingly slow, never breaking eye contact for a second. It was like your eyes were tethered to stare at each other forever and you wouldn't have it any other way. You looked down past your heaving chest to see your knee slung over his shoulder. His chest was pressed up into the back of your thigh, pushing your muscles just right. His lips went so low, so close, so far down your inner thigh and he pulled away. The bastard pulled away. You never would have thought he'd be a tease. He did the same to your other leg, starting at the ankle and working his way almost all the way down. He laid down, his shoulders under both of your legs and he got so close. He kissed your lower stomach and he moved down. Finally, you thought. He kissed over the top of your underwear, taking the waist band in his teeth, pulling just a few inches away and releasing it, flicking against your body. He pulled even further away, devastating you.

"Steve" You whined "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Watch out or I'll have to put that dirty mouth of yours to good use"

"Please do"

He chuckled low, the sound reverberating through you and sending shivers down your spine. You kissed him again, this time soft and sweet, full of the love you had been hiding for so long.

He pulled away and stared down at you, at your beautiful face. He meant what he said that day, he thought you were beautiful, so beautiful it hurt. It hurt when he saw you get all dressed up for galas and charity events in those fancy clothes that fit your body so well. Or when you'd go out to clubs with Nat and Sam, those two always dragged you out, trying to get you to meet someone but you were never interested. For so long it had only been Steve. Wearing something outrageously short for the '40s like Steve was used to, but you looked amazing, you looked amazing in anything. He remembered the first time you trained together and you wore skin tight workout gear, he barely made it through the hour. But his favourite, his absolute favourite, was when you had just woken up. When your hair was all messy and your eyes were only half open. You'd say good morning in a raspy voice full of sleep and you'd smile at him so softly he thought he'd melt. All he wanted was to see that smile and hear that voice every morning for the rest of his life. One day was just, he didn't know quite what. It was an oddly chilly morning for that time of year and all of your winter clothes were packed away. You looked through the freshly washed laundry you had done the day before and you found a blue hoodie, it looked so comfortable and soft and most importantly warm. You pulled it on over your head and it fell halfway down your thighs, just covering the pyjama shorts you were wearing. You walked down the hall and into the kitchen like you did every morning. You greeted Steve and he greeted you back before noticing what you were wearing. It looked like you were wearing his hoodie, only his hoodie, nothing else. He blinked for a moment, opening and closing his mouth, trying to speak but not knowing what to say. You reached up to grab a mug off the top shelf and the hoodie rose up. He didn't want to look, no that was a lie, he thought he shouldn't look but he couldn't help himself. When he was met with the sight of your shorts you could say he was more than a little disappointed. You turned around and saw him staring at you.

"What?" You laughed "I can't have something in my teeth, I haven't eaten yet"

"I-is that my hoodie?"

"Oh, that's who. I'm sorry, it was in my laundry and I was cold. I can give it back"

"No you look nice. Nice and warm" He only just caught and corrected himself.

"Thanks"

He didn't know it yet but ever since that day, whenever you were feeling sad you wore his hoodie and it comforted you more than anything else.

He brought himself out of his memory haze and back to now, to you. He saw you looking up at him, wondering what he was thinking. He leaned down and whispered into your ear, his breath hot against your skin.

"Sweetheart, you've been so good, it's time for your reward"

He picked you up and you latched onto him once again. This time he finally took you to the bed. He laid you down so soft and gentle like he was handling something so precious, he was. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and his finger trailed down your cheekbone. His hand moved back to cradle your head and his thumb caressed your cheek so lovingly. His usually innocent blue eyes stared into yours, boring into your soul. The two of you truly connected, in a way neither of you had with anyone else, only each other.

You woke up the next morning, in his arms. You couldn't believe you were finally where you had dreamed of being for so long. In fact you actually pinched yourself, just to be sure. You couldn't help but smile even brighter when you looked back up to see him looking down at you. This was one of those moments you'd experienced so many times before. It took you completely out of the moment and you noticed just how pretty he really was. His eyes, full of so much hope and joy matched with pain and sadness. His eyes, full of time, years of time and he wanted to spent the rest of it with you. He laid on his back, his chest rising and falling with his steady breaths. His right hand was snaked around your waist, even in his sleep his grip never faltered. You laid on your left side, your cheek on his chest, snuggled up to him. Your right hand was laying across his body, tracing random patterns slowly.

"Morning" There it was, there was that sweet, soft, raspy voice he had longed for.

"Morning sweetheart"

You giggled slightly at the pet name, your pet name. He called you that because to him, that's what you were. You were so sweet he thought he'd get a cavity. You always did whatever you could for others, sometimes they knew and sometimes they didn't. Like the way you helped Bucky. When he first came to the tower he only had Steve, Tony was still upset with him and after hearing what had just transpired the rest of the team weren't very welcoming. But you were different. You trusted Steve's judgement and you welcomed Bucky. He stayed in Steve's room for a while, still too scared to be alone in a tower full of people who didn't much care for him. You decided the best way to get to know Bucky and hopefully help him was to get to know him in a setting he felt comfortable in. You brought a sleeping bag to Steve's room and explained your thinking. Bucky was offered the bed and the couch but he still chose the floor, so you joined him. Steve was in his room with the door open and you and Bucky were in the small living room attached. He was by Steve's door and you kept you distance, trying not to crowd him by sleeping on the other side of the room. He curled up and faced away from you. You heard him gasp for air as he came out of a nightmare. You slowly approached him and took his flesh hand in both of yours. You were gentle but your grasp was firm, reassuring him that he wasn't in his nightmare. Steve got up and came to the door but you shook your head and he stepped back. He trusted you too and he knew that you had a lot of experience with nightmares, you helped him after all. You slept with Bucky on Steve's floor for a month, until Bucky was ready to go to his own room. You slept on his floor for the first night, then you returned to your own room, next door. Sharing a wall, you were able to hear when he had a nightmare and you always came and sat with him like you did that first night. Thankfully, after some time, the nightmares were a rare occasion for him.

Steve loved how you cared for his friend, for everyone. He was the only one who noticed the small things you did. One of the simplest but kindest being whenever you would go to the grocery store you would buy a box of pop-tarts, a dozen plums, a bag of decaf coffee and a punnet of blueberries. Pop-tarts for Thor because he ate them at an alarming rate, plums for Bucky of course, decaf coffee because it always worried you how much coffee Tony drank, so you would replace it with decaf whenever you had the chance, and blueberries also for Tony, he liked having a snack while he worked and they distracted from the coffee.

There were other little things you'd do that just made Steve fall for you even more. If someone had a tough mission you'd cook their favourite meal for dinner, perfectly, and if their suit was torn you'd sew it up. They didn't ask you to or expect you to but you'd just take it and return it to them, fully mended and cleaned. Whenever you noticed his pencils were getting short or his sketchbook was getting full you'd go to the little store that had the supplies he liked. You wouldn't make a fuss about it, you usually just left a book and a box of pencils on his bedside table. And God, did he love to draw you. The first time he tried he obsessed over it, wanting the sketch to be as perfect as you. After a while it became almost mindless, if he didn't know what to draw he'd find himself drawing you.

He looked down at you now, lying in his arms with a huge smile on your face.

"I love you" It just slipped out, he meant it, he did love you but he didn't want to scare you off. He panicked for a moment when you didn't respond.

"I love you too"

He sighed a huge breath of relief "You know you're everything to me, right?"

"I do now"

You brought your hand up to his cheek, you thumb ghosted over his lips.

"You call me sweetheart"

"I do"

"Why?"

"Because you're so kind and giving, you always put the team first and you're well, sweet. Like with the pop-tarts and plums"

"You're the reason"

"What do you mean?"

"I saw your face when I got you a sketchbook or when I got Bucky plums, you know, small things. I saw the way you looked at me or at least the way I hoped you looked at me and I wanted to see that look again"

"Really?"

"Why else do you think we have plum pies every other week? Or enough Pop-tarts to feed an army, or I guess Thor for a couple weeks"

"You did that just to see me happy when I was watching you?"

"Yeah" You said nervously, hoping he wouldn't think you were quite as pathetic as you felt.

"God, I love you"

He pulled you into a kiss and you could feel his smile against your lips.

Tags:

@impetusofadream @goldfishthegr8 @avengers-official-recruit-agent @goreygirl03 @xenasolos @sparklyturtlefox @rios-sythe @nekoannie-chan @ilovemarvel12 @hayneyney @n3ponen @8812-342 @everyonesfriend @pinkthick @craftytacopiecash @meryuniverse @aliljaybird @yelldontwhisper @justhereforthememesnangst @lonely-core

[peachhcs]

requesting some will samy angst where maybe one of them picks a fight on the phone or on face time while they’re doing long distance and then by the end of the call they realize that they were only doing that because they missed the other?

UGH yes in the end they'd be so 🥺 when they realize they really just miss one another. angst to fluff my fav

au masterlist

"you barely texted me all day," samy immediately said when she finally answered her boyfriend's call at almost 10pm.

"i'm sorry..things were crazy today. i got caught up," will mumbled but for some reason his apology wasn't sitting right in samy's head.

"you could've at least told me you were gonna be busy," she continued with the semi-angry tone. the blonde frowned to himself, struggling to make up for hardly answering her all day.

"i should've. 'm sorry," will really did have a long day. there was media every hour that they weren't practicing and press people wanted to kow..he hardly had time to even sit down and think before someone new came in wanting and interview and/or photos for their blogs.

it was the worser side of the job the blonde didn't really enjoy. he was there to play hockey, not sit in front of ten different cameras answering nonstop questions that were way too personal for his liking.

"what's even been up with you lately? you've felt so..i dunno..distant.." samy wasn't afraid to call it what it was anymore. after things escalated between them last summer, she knew better than to let things slide.

however, will did not take it that way, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"i get you're busy, i am too, but it feels like i've barely heard from you all week. we hardly text. we hardly talk," samy's voice faded like she hesitated saying the last part.

the hockey player's expression hardened even though she couldn't see it, "oh so now you're trying to accuse me of something?"

"no, i was never accusing you of something," the younger hughes immediately shot back.

"then what are you trying to say?"

"what are you trying to say? is there something i should be accusing you of?" now both of their tones turned sour. after a long four months of will proving to samy that he deserved her full trust, she put it all into him. she trusted him completely, but right now it wasn't really feeling that way.

"what the fuck? no? what the fuck would i even be doing that would put me in that position?" now will was just mad because it mostly hurt him how fast samy was to assume that he would turn around and hurt her like that again.

"i don't know, you tell me, will. you're the one that hasn't even been answering my texts," the girl shot back again.

"so you're just gonna assume that i did something then? not that i could just be super busy and i've had a really long day talking to a million different people with a camera in my face and i just couldn't have the time to text you?"

a deafening silence fell between them. will heard a sigh escape samy's lips and he quickly realized how harsh what he just said sounded. the guilt of being rude quickly washed over the hockey player. he knew samy's trust really could break at any moment with him and none of what he just said helped any of that.

"okay, sorry. i..i don't know why i said that. you're right. you're busy," when samy spoke again her voice was small and wavering like she was going to cry.

will instantly felt bad, "wait, fuck, no, no. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have snapped like that. i shouldn't have..i'm sorry."

god, he was so stupid sometimes.

"i'm sorry. i have been busy, but i should have texted you and told you. i'm sorry i didn't. it's just been a crazy long day and i haven't like had a second to breathe with every reporter wanted to shove a camera and mic in my face. i think i answered like a hundred questions about myself and personal life today," will admitted in a softer tone when samy didn't respond right away.

"i didn't mean to snap either. i'm sorry. i guess we both had long days. i just..i really like talking to you and i got worried when i barely heard from you all day," samy nervously thumbed her little braid.

"i really like talking to you too. talking to you is the highlight of my day and i do always look forward to it. i didn't mean to worry you. i'm sorry again. if it's any consolation, i did talk about you quite a lot though," when he heard the girl giggle, he knew it was okay again.

"really?"

"god, they love asking about you, but i love talking about you so it works out. it was just little things about our relationship. i bragged about you when i could," will could picture samy blushing hearing him say that and he was right. her cheeks were bright red.

"i'm flattered. sounds intense," she hummed.

"it was, but luckily we're done with it for now. i promise that i will try to text you more and especially let you know when i'll be more busy. god, i really miss you," the hockey player admitted. there were so many days he wished samy was a half an hour drive away still so he could just lay in her arms when his day was hard.

today especially he missed her like crazy. it was probably why he seemed to talk about her in almost every interview even when he wasn't asked first because she was the only thing on his mind.

"i really miss you, too. feels like it's been forever since i saw you," the brunette sighed.

"i know. i have no idea when i'm free again," probably not until summer will guessed and that was still so long from now.

"yeah, me neither." samy and hannah were going abroad for spring break—a trip they'd been planning since literally last year after hannah saying she really wanted to go to italy, so samy didn't know when the next time she could fly to the west coast would be.

"maybe i can escape to italty with you and hannah," will joked a little.

"you should. the almafi coast is calling our name."

one day will would get there with samy and maybe even then they'd be more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. something more like husband and wife sounded right.

"i love you. i miss you. i'm sorry again," will finally said with a small smile.

"i love you a lot. i'm glad we talked. it was real good hearing from you," samy smiled too.

"i promise i'll text. if i don't just like spam me or something," the girl giggled at his words.

"i love, love, love you," they exchanged their goofy, loving goodbye and the little fight they had was far from their minds.

[shiki-jin]

sweet embrace

hawks x reader (angst -> comfort)

was feeling like shit so i wrote this rq,, also probably definitely not how you're supposed to take care of wounds but i wrote this in one sitting so o7

CWS: self harm, almost dying (but it's implied your quirk saves you), a lot of blood

when you're on your own, blood dripping down your arms, keigo gives you a call.

the phone rings beside you.

you barely have the energy to look over — keigo is calling you.

‘i should probably pick up.’

you reach out your arm, slowly, shakily, and press the little green ‘accept’ button.

“mind if i pay a visit?”

he speaks with a certain charm that makes the blood rise to your cheeks.

“go ahead.”

your voice is tired, he notes. makes sense, considering it's past midnight.

in the silence, he hears dripping.

“... you leave your sink on, birdie?”

you look at your arms, nodding like he can see you. “oh, i think so. i'll turn it off soon. 'm tired right now.”

“gotcha. i should be there in five to cuddle all that fatigue away.”

“..oh. can you, um, take a bit longer, maybe?”

“hm? why's that? you don't have to get anything ready or clean for me, ya know. just wait for me in bed, okay?”

you think for a second. “no, i still…” your vision blurs. you feel the cold of the tiled floor against your face. “ow.”

keigo's voice grows more concerned by the second. “you okay, sweetheart?”

you push yourself off the floor, your hands and arms weak and trembling. “i’ll be fine. just, like, go get takeout or something.”

he stays quiet, long enough to hear you messing with something… metal? no, it sounds like paper now. he keeps listening.

“ugh, this is annoying…” he hears you mumble, ripping something akin to —

fuck.

“i’ll be there soon, just— agh, hey, keep talking to me, okay?”

you tilt your head, but nod not a second later. “sure. uh, i'd prefer you get something small since i'm not super hungry, but i don't mind eating… ugh, um, eating the leftovers t-tomorrow.”

your vision keeps going in and out, and right when you're going to stand up to wash your hands, you slip. you could've probably heard the flapping of keigo's wings quickening if you weren't so preoccupied.

it feels like your entire body is shaking now. you don't care that much. “okay, gimme like, s-some 10 extra minutes… it'll probably be,” you feel lightheaded. “it’ll be clean, by then. i think.”

he doesn't respond. you hear the front door click open, and you can't help but sigh. he's probably going to yell at you, or something. god, you couldn't even stick to one easy agreement. isn't that pathetic?

you try to push yourself off of the floor, but all the liquid you've been letting run down your wrists is making it difficult. you manage to sit on your knees, awaiting the scolding you'd get for being so stupid.

the moment the bathroom doors open, you close your eyes.

“shit, that's bad—”

his hands are taking yours before you can object, and he's using the same bandages you got out of the first-aid kit to wrap up your wrists. the material dyes red quickly, but at least it's somewhat stopped the bleeding. you can hear keigo cursing under his breath, and you feel a bit guilty.

“mmh, 's not that bad, look,” you lift up the unbandaged wrist and show it to him. “they're half-healed, already. i wasn't... wasn't trying to die.”

“don't— you're on the verge of passing out, that's pretty bad in my book!”

he takes the chance to wrap up that arm, too, and you're honestly surprised he hasn't started his lecture. you open your eyes ever so slightly, and you realize his chest is right in front of you. you lay down on it, your head on his shoulder, and relax.

“but i know. i know you weren't trying to die, i know. just with me, kay, [name]?”

he's obviously scared, he's speaking quickly, and you feel even worse. “...kay, i'll try.. 'm sorry.”

“it's okay, it's okay, i'm here with you. for you. just stay awake for a bit, that's all i'm asking, dove.”

your breath hitches, and you practically cry the words out. “just yell at me already. just get it over with, i get it, i'm pathetic — i can't keep to a single promise, so yell at me.”

your hands turn to fists, and keigo feels his shirt getting wet. he hugs you tightly, and you can't help but return the gesture. “i'm not going to yell at you, i'm not angry or mad, i understand. i get it, i really do. you're not pathetic, you don't deserve anger.”

raising your head you can see blood all over the floor and sink. you realize it's probably in your clothes by now — and keigos, too. you try to push yourself off him with the little strength you still have, but he keeps you close.

“...i still need to clean—” he shakes his head. “i'll take care of it, don't worry, just focus on me, birdie. just talk to me.”

you suppress the whine that wants to escape your throat. “...i, i tried. i really, really tried, i swear,” you inhale sharply, trying to calm down. “i—i tried really hard, b-but, i couldn't stop, a-and...!”

“i believe you, i promise, i believe you, baby. i know you tried your best, and i'm proud of you for it.” he presses a gentle kiss against you. after a few moments of silence, he speaks calmly. “could you show me your wrists again, dove? 'wanna make sure you're not bleeding too much.”

you nod, and lift one of them up for him to hold. “...okay, that's good, seems like it's healed up. the other?” he presses another kiss to your hands. you lift up the other wrist, and he holds it just as gently as the first. “thank you, baby... they've both healed, for the most part, so do you want to lay down in bed?”

you think for a while. you're tired, exhausted, but if you go to bed...

“will you stay?”

he doesn't think about it.

“i will. i promise.”

you nod. “t-then, yeah, i wanna go to bed.”

he picks you up, holding you against him while he walks to your bed. he sets you down on it, and lays on the other side. “can you face me for a bit, songbird?”

you pull your legs just a bit closer to your chest, one of your arms holding your knees while the other rubs your tears away. you shake your head. “don't wanna.”

“that's okay. can i hold you, then?”

you nod, and he wraps an arm around your waist to pull you closer so that he's spooning you. his legs tangle with yours, and he presses soft kisses to your back, your neck, your scalp.

you're shaking less now, he thinks. he pulls the covers up so you can both be warm, and one of his wings instinctually covers your body. “is it okay if i make a suggestion? no need to answer right away, we can talk about it in the morning — or whenever you're ready.”

before the exhaustion completely takes over, you want to get an answer out. “go ahead.”

“thank you. i... when you get these types of urges, i'd like for you to call me. talk to me. if i can't talk you out of it, that's okay, just ask me to come over. i want to help you with this.”

you listen intently, his voice so soft and sweet it almost lulls you to sleep.

“okay. i'll... i'll call you, promise.”

he presses another kiss to your neck. “thank you for trusting me with that, dove. i'm proud of you.” you can tell he's about to fall asleep, too. “you should rest now, though. i'll be here when you wake up.”

the next time you're in the bathroom with a box cutter to your arms, he's the one to pick up the call.

[sturniolohohoho]

pretty princess .⋅˚₊‧ 🜲 ‧₊˚ ⋅

Soft!Matt x Innocent!Reader

summary: matt teaching you how to jork him off 😊😊

a/n: this is my first fic/blurb and i'm terrified of posting this so i really hope this doesnt suck balls!

c/w: established relationship, handjob, gawk gawking, kissing, hickies and other makey outy things, fluff?

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You sit on the couch with Matt, a long forgotten movie playing in the background while he gives your face little pecks as you squirm and giggle. “Matt, stop! It tickles!” He ignores you, pulling you up onto his lap, and looking up at you with a loving look in his eyes. “Why don’t you just stay like this, pretty princess,” he murmurs, hands resting on your bare thighs. 

The air in the room changes, suddenly feeling suffocating with tension. You bend down slightly, brushing your lips against his. His last bit of self control is spent, as he crashes his lips into yours, digging his nails into your thighs. You moan into his mouth, pulling his hair gently.

“Babe,” you say shyly. He pulls away from the kiss looking at you. “Yeah? Something wrong?” “Do you think… you could teach me to you know…” you gesture downwards at the tent in his pants.

Matt looks at you, flustered. “O-oh yeah. I could definitely teach you. For sure.” You smile, gently getting off his lap and on your knees in front of the couch. 

He pulls his pants down, revealing his dick straining on his boxers, damp at the tip. He pulls them down too, leaving your mouth slightly parted and wet, staring shamelessly.

“Okay, so you just wrap your hand around the base, and put some pressure on it.” You take his warm leaking length in your hands, fingers just closing around it. He hisses, throwing his head back. 

“O-okay now just move it up and down and use your other hand for the tip.” You move your hand up and down slowly, the other one rubbing the tip. Matt's head is thrown back and his mouth half open, flushed from head to toe.

“That's right baby. Just squeeze a little harder for me, hmm?” You increase the pressure on his dick and he groans softly, jerking his hips up uncontrollably.

He begins fucking your hand desperate for more friction, hair sticking to his forehead. Without thinking, you bring your head down and place your lips on his tip, swirling your younger around.

He lets out a whimper. “B-babe, you don't have to…” but his words fade away as he threads his fingers in your hair, keeping your head in place. 

You try your hardest to bob your head around his length but he's just so thick. Matt is teetering on the edge, a heaving mess. He couldn't stop himself from holding your head in place and fucking your mouth rapidly.

His cock hits the back of your throat as you gag, tears and drool streaming down your face. Matt's pace begins to stutter. He lets out a stream of whimpers as he fills your throat with ropes of cum.

You pull your head off of his cock with a pop, spent. Matt just sits back on the couch, breathing heavily. “Oh… God baby.” He leans down to caress your face, gently wiping the tears off your face. “Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry.” You shake your head quickly. “No, no it was great Matt.”

You sigh quietly. “Wanna shower together?” Matt gives you a grin and picks you off of your feet, bringing you to the washroom as you giggle in his arms.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

that's it! hope you enjoyed and if you have any feedback i would LOVE (like pleaseee) to hear it. <33

also requests are very open i have no idea what to write!

[runawaybridee]

"wanna spend the day together? just us." - s. gojo

requests r open!!!

659 wc, lowk wrote this during class, idk this might be ooc but wtv

satoru gojo is the sweetest lover ever. sometimes you feel as though you don't deserve him. more often then not, really.

satoru knows this. he's constantly reassuring you, even more so this valentine's season. seeing all the couples together, looking so happy. you and satoru are happy, it's just been.. difficult lately.

he's had endless missions. you've had a couple of your own, but since he's the strongest it means that they rely on him to go after most special grade curses. you were stuck at first grade, even though you very much qualify for special grade.

you just miss your boyfriend, and you're a bit insecure since your last partner.. well, your last partner was an asshole. never gave you attention, not like gojo does. sure, they didn't have the kind of money as your current boyfriend, but they never even paid for dinner!

gojo is freaking out. you've been more distant. instead of the usual wide smile he's greeted with, it's just a small hum of acknowledgment. there's no dinner on the table, not even takeout. he doesn't ask you to cook for him, you just did it.

now, it's different. you just snuggle into his embrace and stay quiet.

did he do something wrong? is it his haircut? oh god, you're totally going to break up with him. this is it! he always knew he'd die alone--

your voice snaps him out of his thoughts. "satoru?" he looks at you. "yeah? what's up, pumpkin?" he smiles when he sees your face scrunch up at the nickname. you huff, "i asked you a question."

"oh, sorry. what was it?" he grins wider, "which one smells better?" you're holding two perfume bottles, asking him which smells better.

he brings one up to his nose and hums softly, then the other one and chews on his lower lip. "this one." he holds up the peach-scented perfume.

"okay," you say softly. he wraps his arm around you, tugging you closer. you hesitantly lean into his chest, closing your eyes.

you wake up to an empty bed, again. gojo is probably on a mission. you sigh to yourself, standing up. you waddle over to the bathroom to wash your face and pee.

once you're done, you smell something sweet.. souffle pancakes?

you walk into the kitchen and see your sweet boyfriend over the stove, attempting to make the perfect pancake. "'toru?" he lifts his head, smiling at you.

"morning, pumpkin!" he says happily, "made you some breakfast!" you furrow your brows in confusion, your boyfriend is not a cook.

"how long have you been up?" you ask, "i dunno! two hours?"

"babe, you have work. why are you making breakfast?" he huffs, rolling his eyes. "who even cares? the elders can't punish me." you blink at him.

"c'mon, don't you wanna spend the day together? just us!" you stare at him, feeling the tears brimming in your eyes.

his eyes widen, "oh! don't cry, i'll--i'll go to work!" he rushes over to wipe your eyes. you sniff, "no.. no, don't.. please don't go."

he wraps his arms around you. "okay, i won't.. i'm right here, baby." he scratches your back gently. you hiccup, "i just miss you, that's all.." you say quietly.

he nods, "i know.. i miss you too." he presses a kiss to your forehead, "i don't want my girlfriend to be sad, okay? so, smile f'me."

if anyone else would've said this, you probably would've punched them. but you just press a kiss to satoru's cheek. "i love you." "i love you, pumpkin."

you don't have to know that shoko was the one who told him to stay home today, at least not right now.

this was supposed to be finished yesterday but my room was so nasty I had to clean it 😔

masterlist , taglist

[watarfallar]

Gay idiots... (I said with joy)

Grian: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!? Scar: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Scar: Holy shit, Grian, do you know what this means?! Grian: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.

Scar: Hey, are you free? Grian: No, I’m expensive.

Grian: Wow, did you hear that voice crack? Scar: That wasn't a voice crack, that was a whole voice meth.

Scar: We all have our demons. Scar, grabbing Grian: This one’s mine.

Scar: I only have 6 weeks left to live. Grian: Oh my god, really?! Scar: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made.

Grian: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me. Scar: But did I make you cry? Grian: cries on the spot Scar: …Shit.

Grian: You know, I used to play back in my gory days. Scar: You mean glory days? Grian: Ah, that too.

Grian: The joy of hanging out with Scar. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and they bite the tip of a marker off.

Scar: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? Grian: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though… I don't know. Scar: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Grian: Scar, are you okay?! Scar: I told you to stop asking stupid questions!

Grian: Can we talk? One 10 to another? Scar: I’m an 11, but continue.

Scar: Grian… you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now. Grian: muffled mm hmmm :) Scar: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.

Scar: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff. Grian: Oh, that was all real. Scar: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?! Grian: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.

Grian, gently nudging Scar aside with their foot: Scar, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you. Scar, their eyes enormous: You kick Scar? You kick their body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Grian! Jail for Grian for one thousand years!

While planning to break in somewhere Scar: Hey, let's do "Get Help!" Grian: What? Scar: "Get Help." Grian: No. Scar: C'mon, you love it! Grian: I hate it. Scar: It's great! It works every time! Grian: It's humiliating. Scar: Do you have a better plan? Grian: No. Scar: We're doing it! Grian: We are not doing "Get Help!" A Minute Later Scar, carrying Grian: Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! throws Grian at guards, knocking them out Scar: Ahh, classic! Grian: gets up I still hate it. It's humiliating. Scar, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

Scar: Did you know spiders can hold 8 guns at once? Grian: How does it WALK?? Scar: Scar: Did you know spiders can hold 7 guns at once?

Scar: Knock, knock. Grian: Who's there? Scar: Boo! Grian: Boo who? Scar: Why are you crying? Grian: I'm not crying. Scar: Hello notcrying, I'm Scar.

Scar, near tears: I have the sex appeal of a math book! Grian: I don’t know, dude, I’ve never met anyone that opened a math book and didn’t say “fuck me”.

Grian: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail. Scar: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the police station.

Scar: I hate you. Grian: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Grian: Wait- Your arresting me because I'm a homo?! Scar: …Homicide. You killed your whole family.

[11queensupreme11]

(don’t know if I already sent this ask 😭😭 I’m sorry)

if you know about EPIC the musical, there’s a song called ‘Love in Paradise’ that reminded me of Percy and the yans in that AU where she has all the children

Old friend

Maybe Grover by his empathy link??

It's been ten years since I last saw you

Remember me!

I am the infamous Odysseus!

👆 just Percy cause she’s really infamous lmao

Anyways, I've got all you could want here

All you could need here

Just you and me, my dear, my love for life

Soon, into bed we'll climb and spend our time

The yans. Literally. 😭😭 Especially with climbing into bed with her

I'm not your man

I'm what you want here

I'm what you need here

Just you and me, my love in paradise

Now 'til the end of time

From here on out, you're mine, all mine

Again. The yans. Even more with ‘till the end of time’ cause they’re gods 😔

Hell no, I could kill you where you stand

I'm no pet, I'm a married man

Oh handsome, you may try

But last I checked, goddesses can't die

Goddess?

You're adorable

Bow down now to the immortal Calypso, here to entertain

But fear not, I bring no pain

'Cause we've got

All we could want here

All we could need here

Under my spell, we're stuck in paradise

No one can come nor go, my island stays unknown

practically Percy’s helplessness against the gods — and the fact this isn’t her universe so she can’t go

No, no

I don't belong here

There's something wrong here

I won't be drawn to love in paradise

Not 'til the end of time, there is no way

You're mine, all mine

again, she can’t escape because this isn’t her universe and there’s no way back

Seven years, she's kept you trapped, out of your control

Time can take a heavy toll

this is more of a head canon for the au — like a Percy that lost all hope now??

Odysseus?

All I hear are screams

Ody, get away from the ledge

You don't know what I've gone through

You don't know what I've sacrificed

Every comrade I long knew

Every friend, I saw them die

And all I hear are screams

this could be her friends in the war (or all her dead friends, honestly) or even the loved ones she has back in the PJO! Universe. And the ‘get away from the ledge’ reminds me of the whole suicidal thoughts she has

It will be fine, dear

Come back inside, dear

Love of my life, come back to paradise

Let me close my eyes

I know your life's been hard

I'll stay inside your heart

All I hear are screams

I love you, my dear

I love our time here

Life would be so much worse

Just let me close my eyes

If you had died

Please stay from away from harm

Stay in my open arms

The whole ‘stay in my open arms’ reminds me of the yans so much — like, ‘you’ll be fine as long as you stay — why would you want to go back to that shitty life back in your universe??’ (At least those who know like beel or Loki)

and that’s all (am I onto something or am I on something??🧐🧐)

no this fits PERFECTLY

but technically a good portion of the EPIC the musical songs would fit her life well, especially since she canonically speed-runs odysseus' entire 10 year journey into like... a week or two in the sea of monsters 😭😭😭😭

[swagyalastorwife]

Jealous hazbin hotel x reader part2

Author notes: hiiiiii guyssss (^-^)/❤️I really enjoyed writing this, I hope you like it, I have already posted part 1 so don’t hesitate to go see it requests are open ❤️

Part 1 here !

⚠️warning: none, part of valentino which is a little suggestive

Vox📺

♤When he's in love he's quite, strange, he'll use some sort of techniques to "chance" come across you in the street in order to chat with you and spend time with you. he will spy on you through all your screens will monitor you 24/7 phone, computer, television EVERYTHING! If you have the misfortune of working for him listen, he treats you like a king/queen, my god paid vacations, salary increases for no reason but one day when he saw you talking with peppermint his whole body boiled with anger, he wanted to murder, jealousy invaded him

“Hello Y/N, how are you?

"Hey, hello sir, I'm very well and you?

“I’m fine thank you thank you, could you follow me into my office now!

“oh uh yes I’m coming”

"GOOD ..."

he was going away leaving you alone a few minutes later you knocked on his office door Tock tock

“come in y/n

“mr vox what can I do for you”

" Why !

“why what?

“why were you talking to that idiot

“uh he’s my friend

"your friend?? I'm not enough for you anymore? Do you think you need someone other than me

you understood immediately what was happening so you decided to approach him, you sat on his knees and you kissed him you could feel these hands delicately placed on your hips

“don’t worry vox, I’m yours and only yours” “there it is, it’s better, I like hearing that doll

Velvette 💜

◇She stalks you, clearly she is completely crazy about you, she will stalk you on all your social networks, and in that head you are already hers and no one can take you from her so one day when she saw you flirting with this demon in the street she went completely crazy she grabbed you by the arm kissed you and took a photo of the kiss, so that everyone knows who you belong to, when you came out of the kiss you looked at her in shock and she said to you

“come on baby let’s go home

you weren't even in a relationship that she already considered you as her partner it's cute

Valentino 🦋

♡He loves you and good luck he will do everything in his power to keep you close to him so if you have the misfortune of making him jealous you will have to pay the consequences, like that time when you were flirting with one of Velvette's models he could feel the hatred in his whole body he killed the demon directly and told you

"mi amore don't be stupid thinking that someone else could love you as much as me, advise don't even try to make me jealous anymore

he placed a kiss on your lips

"I love you you know, now I think it's time to give you your punishment, come here~

I can tell you that the night was long...

Carmila carmine🗡

♧It took a lot of time for Carmila to accept her feelings, so I believe that she won't let you go until she has the courage to confess these feelings to you, just like Vaggie I see her very jealous so if she sees you laughing or flirting with another demon she will kill him directly like last time: you were in the street chatting with a very charming demon and carmila didn't like it, she wanted to kill I can tell you that.

“Y/n my dear how about we go for a walk somewhere else

"later carmila i'm busy

she was dying to kill this demon she grabbed you and kissed you letting the demon go when she broke the lowering she told you

“y/n I’m sorry it’s just… I love you and I..

you didn't give her time to finish that sentence as you crushed your lips against his

Cherry bomb💣

●chery bomb she was not afraid to confess her feelings to you so you understood very quickly that she loved you and you had fun trying to make her jealous like this time: you were in the hotel lobby chatting with lucifer when you saw cherry you decided to have fun flirting a little with the king of hell {he was completely upset, poor guy} and cherry had fallen into your trap and only wanted to catch you and make you pay for what you're doing to her so she approached you and said

"do you think you're funny?

" A little

"pff, really stupid

"but I'm your idiot and yours alone

These last words escaped you but that didn't stop Cherry from grabbing you and kissing you in front of everyone at the hotel

Adam😇

○ Him jealous Adam the first man no ever in life..... yes that's what he said when he and Lute saw you talking with Saint Peter but deep down he only had one desire was to grab you like a potato sack and take you away from this idiot and that's what he did "hee adam let go of me

"No

"you're really just an asshole

“I like it when you talk to me like that baby"

you let out a slight laugh, because you and adam weren't a couple but you flirted a lot together he kissed you on the cheek and said

“i love you bitch

“Adam I love you too, asshole

Hope you like it ❤️❤️❤️❤️(^-^)/❤️

[kkoga]

2. Unwanted reunion ┈─★ WC : 1034

Masterlist ! next !

Y/n turns her phone off after Yunjin drunkenly yells for her. The girl approaches over to Yunjin's voice, only to find Yunjin basically clinging onto Sakura for dear life. Y/n felt bad for Sakura, but atleast Yunjin made some progress with her 4 year long crush on the older member.

''C'mon Yunj, get off Sakura.'' Y/n says as she tries to pry the red head off of Sakura. The girl groans in protest.

''But I don't wannaaaaaaa'' Sakura giggles at Yunjin's behaviour, and Y/n just felt embarrassed. She was trying to save her ass, and this is what she gets in return??

''Bro, let Sakura enjoy the damn party too. She hasn't gotten a single drink in. Get off her and—''

''No no, it's okay Y/n. I can handle this, you should go enjoy too!'' Sakura gracefully cuts Y/n off, and before Y/n could tell her otherwise, Sakura's stern look told her all she needed to know.

''Well, there's no saving her now. Might as well get a pic and tease her for it tomorrow.'' After swiftly asking Sakura for a picture and taking it, the girl leaves the two alone.

Daniela enters the common area for HYBE. This room was commonly used for parties and what not, so Daniela wasn't so surprised to know this was the set place for Le sserafim's party.

Manon immediately books it to the nearest area with booze, Lara not far behind. Sophia sighs, knowing the bullshitry she will have to deal with on the way home.

Daniela notices Megan looking around. Trying to find some random girl to flirt with probably. Daniela knows she probably won't find this party any fun at all.

''At least it got me out of the house I guess...'' The Latina mumbles to herself. The girl was going to hang around the drinks area, get a couple more down, and probably pass out on the couch or something. That was until she bumped into someone.

''Oh, I'm so sorry—'' The Latina's words got stuck in her throat. The person she bumped into was none other than Hyunsik. Her fucking ex.

''Well look who it is... My wonderful ex girlfriend! Nice to see you hours after you sent that damn breakup text yeah?'' The guy grabs her arm, and forcefully pulled her close to him.

''Wanna have some fun? C'mon.. I know you still want me.'' His once sweet and cute smile turned into a sick and disgusting look. How did she ever fall for his bullshit?

''What the fuck are you— let go!'' Daniela struggles to get out of his grip, the girl reminded of the reasons as to why she even fell for him. His strength was known by all his fans and members. Fuck.

''Stop struggling already honey, it was only a few days ago you were basically begging me to meet up with you no?''

Daniela felt so disgusted. She did not needed to be reminded of their relationship. The thoughts of their intimate moments made her feel so... dirty. Good god, she let this man touch her like that? Daniela was damn near close to puking.

What was love making to her, was nothing but sex to him. Daniela hated men like that. The Latina was on the verge of tears, when suddenly, someone slapped his hand off of hers.

''Hey, what's going on here?'' Daniela couldn't look up. She was trying too hard to keep herself from bursting into tears.

''None of your damn business.'' Daniela could hear Hyunsik grit his teeth. She was sure he was sending whoever was next to her a death stare right now.

''It is going to be my business when I see a man clearly harassing a non-consenting woman. Now fuck off.'' The person defending her gently put an arm around Daniela. Strangely comforting, Daniela thought.

''What if I don't want to?'' Hyunsik tries to grab her arm, but the person stops him.

''I said, go. I'm getting you kicked out of the party. I know Le sserafim personally. Expect to hear from management tomorrow.'' Hyunsik looked threatened, and decided to just leave it be.

Daniela let go of a breath she wasn't aware she was holding. She turns around to see her savior, and it met with fucking Y/n L/n. Someone notorious for her confident and rude behavior, along with her very obvious bitch face she constantly gives to everyone.

''Are you okay? Look, I will get him kicked out. Promise. Do you want me to find your members?'' Daniela doesn't know whether it was the booze or not getting to her head, but all she wanted to do right now was get comforted. So, drunkenly, she hugs and clings onto Y/n.

''Oh— oh... okay, yeah this is fine.'' Y/n gently pat her back, as if telling her it was going to be okay. Daniela couldn't hold it in anymore. The Latina burst into tears, staining Y/n's T-shirt with her tears.

''Uhm... we should go to a more private place. Are you alright with crying out here? I could call your members...'' Daniela shakes her head. She doesn't want any more people to see her vulnerable right now.

''No. Take me home please?'' It was definitely the booze talking right now. The only thing on Daniela's mind right now was comfort and rest.

''W-what? To your home? I don't know your address... We should just get your members Daniela—''

''No, please,'' Daniela pleaded, looking into Y/n's eyes, a tired and drained look on her face. ''I don't want any more people to see me right now. Just take me to yours? Pretty please?'' Y/n looked reluctant, Daniela could tell. So after a few more ''are you sure''s, Daniela found herself in Y/n's car, on the way to Y/n's as she sobbed and ranted to the girl. Completely forgetting who she was even talking to, the drinks keeping her mind hazy and confused. All Daniela knew at this moment, was that she was being taken somewhere, and that she was currently ranting about Hyunsik to someone. But at this point, the girl had forgotten who.

Taglist 13/30 : @itzkatflixs @yjiminswallet @hydrardz @wtfisthisnoclueman @yeetaberry127 @gtfoiydlyj @kristalag @haerinkisser @sunshinez4 @xochitlisbest @sirenontheloose @arihiu @harajuku

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"The sky is beautiful from my side" Lily said with a sigh "Full of stars... How is yours?"

James looked up and smiled. He would call it destiny that the sky was clear. There were few stars visible and the moon was big and shiny.

"Nice view tonight" he said to the phone.

"Yes, it's beautiful!" Lily exclaimed.

"Not as beautiful as you"

The silence Lily gave him after that made James feel like an idiot. Fuck fuck fuck! That was not what a friend was supposed to say, was it? James had promised Lily and himself he was going to respect the friendship thing. And it had been fine. It had been amazing, actually.

James had been used to having Lily hating his guts and insulting him. Being Lily's friend was new but wonderful. It was an honor to get to know her. To make her laugh. To hear about her day and her secrets.

Since summer started, they had been talking on the phone two times a week. And oh God! James was thrilled and he didn't want to jinx it. It was a dream come true.

Pining over Lily as her good pal was ten times better than fucking it up and making her angry again.

James wanted to do things right this time.

But sometimes he didn't have a filter and he said stupid things he felt because they were bloody strong.

Luckily this time, Lily giggled on the other side of the phone. James smiled in relief. He appreciated how sweet her laughter sounded.

"You know how to use your words, eh Potter?"

"Just telling the truth"

"You are just testing if you can flirt with me"

Yes! A million times yes!

"Is it working?"

James's heart suddenly ran fast expecting her answer. He still had hope that one day she would feel the same as him.

Because James felt like he loved her.

Before Lily could answer, they were both interrupted by Marlene's voice in the background.

"Bloody hell, Lily! Quit flirting with Potter and let us sleep!"

James felt dumb to blush but the best part was that he knew Lily was blushing as well. He knew her well by now.

"Marlene!" Lily protested "I'm not flirting..."

"Maybe you can have your sex calls outside the room" James heard Mary's voice.

His cheeks went on fire with the mere thought of hearing Lily whispering sexy things to him.

"Mary!" Lily whined. "Sorry Potter," she added to the phone "just ignore them"

James laughed nervously. He heard Lily moving and closing the door behind her.

"We just had a volleyball tournament today" Lily explained, lowering her voice "The McKinnons got competitive. We are knackered"

James was glad Lily was having fun with the McKinnons.

"I guess I should leave you to rest, right?"

"Yeah maybe or they are going to kill me.. " Lily said "James!" she exclaimed seconds later making James jump but loving to hear his name from her mouth "It's really late! No wonder the girls were annoyed"

James checked his watch. 2 a.m. Had they really been talking for three whole hours?

"You are right" he chuckled

"I didn't notice it was that late" Lily snorted.

"Time flies when you are having fun"

James could feel Lily's smile.

"Who said I was having fun?"

"Big mistake, you are actually annoyed by my irritating voice, right?"

Lily chuckled "Very irritated!"

"Knew it"

Lily laughed making James's heart melt.

"Have a good night, Potter"

"We are back to Potter? Aaw..."

Lily giggled "Go to sleep, James"

"That's better" he bit his lip "I like it when you say my name"

Shit! He was stepping over the line.

"Sweet dreams, Jaamees..." he imagined Lily rolling her eyes.

"As long as they are with you"

Definitely stepping over the line.

"Bye, Potter" Lily said but she was amused.

James smiled "Bye, Lily"

Lily was the one to hang up first but James felt the goofy smile on his face already. His face red, his ears burning but his happiness so loud it was contagious.

James loved Lily Evans. It could explain why he missed her already. He just talked to her for hours but it was never enough. He wanted to see her face and smell her perfume and if he was lucky kiss those lips...

James snapped out if it. Better not get his hopes up.

James felt he was practically floating when he reached his room. His parents were asleep already and the house was quiet.

He was careful not to make noise as he stepped inside.

"Done with your mellow phone call?"

James jumped and cursed under his breath.

Sirius was awake. Wearing one of James's shirts and inside his bed.

Sirius had his own room at the house by this point. Although he never slept in it. He had been attached to James like glue this summer. Especially after what happened with his family. Everytime James saw the bruise on his face, he wanted to kill Sirius’s father.

"Bloody hell, you scared me" James whispered, charged into his pijamas and got inside the covers next to Sirius.

Sirius stared openly the whole time.

"Couldn't sleep" Sirius explained "Came to see you but you were busy"

James grinned in response. He couldn't hide how happy talking with Lily made him.

Sirius was not pleased.

"How's Evans?"

"Beautiful!" James sighed as he leaned down "I mean well! She's having fun at the McKinnons"

"With one of Marlene's brothers, I presume?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Padfoot!" James protested trying not to sound jealous.

Adam and Cole were too much older for her.

"Joking" Sirius shrugged.

James stared. His best friend was upset. He had that face James knew well when he pretended to be fine but was dying inside. James could see inside his eyes how many things were going through his mind.

"Pads... Want to talk?"

"About Evans?" Sirius made a face.

"About you..."

"You look like a fool with your face all red and probably your dick hard"

James rolled his eyes.

"We are in good terms, best terms" he smiled. "I lose track of time when I talk with her"

"You lose control of your cock as well"

"Fuck off!"

It was Sirius who James wanted to tell his feelings about. He wanted to share his happiness with him. He wanted advice. He wanted to tell him he might be in love.

"Summer is about flings" Sirius snapped "She's probably having fun with different blokes..."

James blinked at him.

"Many things can happen at the beach"

James smiled slightly "Thank you for being so gentle with me"

Sirius grinned.

"She is having fun with you as well, messing with you over the phone"

"Lily is not like that"

"Lily, is it?" Sirius scoffed "You know her very well now, don't you?"

James was being patient.

"I reckon I've been getting to know her better"

Sirius clenched his teeth. James knew he was trying not to explode.

"How nice!" Sirius said sarcastically "Prepare to be in the friendzone forever!"

James wanted to do something to fix Sirius. To do something to make him feel better. He was a mess because of his fucked up family.

"What is it dear Pads?" James said with a cheeky smile "Are you jealous?"

He said it mostly to make a joke and make Sirius laugh. But it was surprising to see Sirius go red as a tomato.

"You are getting red!" James teased because Sirius had done the same. He poked his cheek.

Sirius got furious and pushed his hand away.

"Fuck off, Potter!!" he spat "I'm just watching your back. That girl is going to break your heart really fast! Then you will be crying around the corners like a baby and I don't want to deal with that!!"

And James was taken aback. Because Sirius was not joking anymore. It made James feel impotent not to help him.

"I really like Lily" James said carefully.

Sirius’s eyes filled with tears but he turned around and laid showing James his back.

"Let's just go to sleep"

James took a deep breath.

"I don't know what's wrong with you, Pads" he said "But you are my best friend. And I want you to be happy for me and support me with this. Lily might like me back or she might not. But I reckon it is my business to discover it. And yeah if she breaks my heart, I hope I can count on you to get the pieces back together... "

Sirius didn't move.

"I'll be the happiest man in the world when you fall in love for the first time, you know?"

Silence. Another sigh.

"Good night, Padfoot"

James took off his glasses and turned off the lights. What he didn't see was that Sirius was silently crying next to him. Because of the confusing feelings he was facing. For James. For Remus. And the whole mess with his family.

Sirius wanted to hug James, cry and forget about everything forever. But he was a coward to admit it.

[sir-fenris]

Took me a little while to get to this 'cause my head was elsewhere yesterday, but I'm always here for the commmentary :D

I'm in the middle of an allergy attack and running on 4 hours of sleep, I'm gonna do my best.

Vi had lied to him, essentially. Paris was a prisoner just as long as he was here. But, as she reminded him frequently, he could leave at any time. They’d give him his sword back at the door. They’d take it away at the next base they crashed into. 

Lorelai was in her element, though. She was one of them now, clear as day. There was a little medallion around her neck, the gold markings which he recognized as distinctly imperial.

So funny to see Paris thinking about his kinda imprisonment, and then Lorelai is just having the time of her life.

He indulged her. He had to. And it was good for him too, to see the last stop before leaving Empire. Some kind of closure. One last goodbye.

I love Paris "having to" do stuff, it's delightful. Especially about Lorelai.

And love closure 👏👏 I know not always it's realistic to have one, but I really enjoy closure in whump.

It was a tundra. The frozen kind, though some stages were now in thaw. It was painfully beautiful. 

Ohhhh you didn't............ 😵‍💫

Only in the middle of the night, when they were already tangled in between each other’s limbs, did he realize the fever was upon him.

Own, Paris has a fever? Fucking god, he can't have one chapter of peace 🤣

“It’s my ship,” she said, the same way she ended all her arguments. “I could leave anytime I wanted. Why are you always trying to get rid of me?”

He desperately did not want to be rid of her. 

Then, as if reading his mind: “You give yourself way too much credit. I wanted this too.”

Well, Paris does actually give himself "too much credit" (I would say too much guilt). but that's to be expected after everything.

He wondered if he regretted it. Really, he regretted everything.

There we go. Love love love. Whumperflies.

If she was surprised by the change in topic, she didn’t show it. He suspected she wasn’t shocked at all. Delta was on the cusp of his thoughts, all the time.  Everything lead back to him. Lorelai raised one eyebrow at the new proclamation.

I need to say it.

👏HAUNTING👏THE👏FUCKING👏NARRATIVE👏

🗣AAAAAAAAAA

He didn’t mean to say that last part. Because he had killed Delta — and it had not felt kind. The ice felt colder beneath him as he went on.

Oh my fucking god, I need him metting face to face alive Delta so much, please, please, please, please.

I LOVE THE GUILT <333333

She barely reacted. He thought she might argue. Maybe he wanted her to. Maybe she saw another way out, some path that he didn’t. If he could do it all over, what would he change? Or would he always end up here — and Delta, dead on the ocean floor?

I'm......... AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

“They told me I needed to. It’s his conditioning. He needed to feel powerless, all the time, or he would stop working. I was fucking terrified of what would happen if I lost control of him, if I lost the only edge I had. I was scared of him. And I needed him.”

“I hated needing. I hated feeling like I was losing control. And that’s all I was doing, the entire time. Just losing control, constantly. Over everything. Over myself.”

THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING AAAAAAAAAA-

I'M KICKING MY FLWOWOWIRJDIAOQOKW GIGGLING

No words, just feelings. Fucking christ.

“I’m sorry, Lorelai. For everything.

I wish I could take it back.”

this is effectively the final chapter of Crash Out

paris and lorelai will return in Destroyer

I'M DYING WITH THIS OMG YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THIS-

-

Just a reblog and like isn't enough for the last chapter.

Here it is the super like, super kudos, super heart of "I really liked this"

Very very excited about what comes next (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

Crash Out - Love

(Content: fever, drug mention, bruises, discussions of past abuse, guilt)

He was in and out of sleep for a long time. He remained supervised. They didn’t trust him with as much rope as he could hang himself with. 

Vi had lied to him, essentially. Paris was a prisoner just as long as he was here. But, as she reminded him frequently, he could leave at any time. They’d give him his sword back at the door. They’d take it away at the next base they crashed into. 

Lorelai was in her element, though. She was one of them now, clear as day. There was a little medallion around her neck, the gold markings which he recognized as distinctly imperial.

“Did you scavenge that off a corpse?” he asked.

He had meant it as a joke.

He got the distinct sense that he had killed something beautiful. Like setting a butterfly on fire. Had she been changing all this time?

And yet she didn’t leave him. She changed all the time, but that didn’t. Over the border was still the goalpost. CTRL sheltered them at most stops. She’s their own now, of course she can stay. He offered what he could — intel when he had it, labor when he didn’t, when his body allowed him to. Sometimes he merely slept, looking sheepishly at the night guard for the time they were both wasting.

The border was a stone’s throw away and she wanted to make one last stop. 

He indulged her. He had to. And it was good for him too, to see the last stop before leaving Empire. Some kind of closure. One last goodbye.

It was a tundra. The frozen kind, though some stages were now in thaw. It was painfully beautiful. 

She had an eye for it more than he did. He’d have followed her up into the mountains and along the frozen stream, walked the whole length of tundra ten time over. Anything. Lorelai pulled winter weeds out from the ground to press into the journal she still carried. Small, living things dashed across the dead-land. Foxes and rabbits. Owls and swans. Living things, not so unlike them. Hot blood flowed through all of them, proof they still existed. Alive.

It was her idea to break into the cabin, which to him did not seem very altruistic, but he had no better ideas. Luckily enough, it was empty, seemingly abandoned for a time. They’d get better use of it.

Only in the middle of the night, when they were already tangled in between each other’s limbs, did he realize the fever was upon him.

A real one, this time. Not induced, not even dopesick. An honest to god fever.

Paris stood up blearily, feeling some of the heat recede when he’d detached from her body, but not much. It was still bright outside, something to do with the equinox. The sky was an odd, soft color. It was freezing out, which felt nice against his flushed skin. Lorelai groaned slightly from the bed. She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself before she shuffled over to the door. At that point, he’d already stepped out.

Paris was on his knees in the snow. He pressed some of it to his face, still appreciating the contrast between the cold and the burning. It felt nice. It was strange, the things that felt nice to him now. As the last dregs of the drugs cycled out from his body, he found pleasures unmuted in their absence.

“You okay?” she called from the doorway. She was barefoot by the entrance, where the carpet was still warm.

He nodded, though he probably wasn’t. The fever was cooking his brain. 

The blanket hung off her bare shoulder. He hadn’t seen it as well in the dark, but the bruises marked her skin just as much as the love bites. She’d been busy. She’d been through a lot.

“I’m sorry for dragging you out here,” he blurted out. He’d been meaning to say it for a while. 

“What?” She blinked. “I wanted to come. This was my idea.”

“But you didn’t know what you were getting into. I didn’t tell you anything. It was taking advantage.”

“Did you know?”

He shook his head

“I knew it would be bad. I didn’t know it would be like this.”

“It’s my ship,” she said, the same way she ended all her arguments. “I could leave anytime I wanted. Why are you always trying to get rid of me?”

He desperately did not want to be rid of her. 

“I don’t understand you.” he said. He couldn’t fathom the thought of anyone staying with him by choice. If he could’ve left himself behind, he would’ve. He’d have done it in a heartbeat.

“What part don’t you get?” she asked. It tickled him how annoyed she sounded then. Like her clarity was being taken for granted. 

Then, as if reading his mind: “You give yourself way too much credit. I wanted this too.”

“This?” he laughed.

“Not all of it. I never wanted you to get hurt, Paris. I just wanted us to get out. I didn’t know how hard it would fight to keep you.”

A pause. She said:

“I had fun, though. Is that horrible to say? I had fun. I don’t regret it.”

He wondered if he regretted it. Really, he regretted everything.

When he didn’t answer for a while, she sat down on the wooden steps. The blanket shielded her from the cold contact. She lit up a cigarette, holding it delicately between her lips.

Another pause. He said:

“…You know I couldn’t have let him go, right?”

If she was surprised by the change in topic, she didn’t show it. He suspected she wasn’t shocked at all. Delta was on the cusp of his thoughts, all the time.  Everything lead back to him. Lorelai raised one eyebrow at the new proclamation.

“I couldn’t just let him go,” Paris said, because he had been thinking a lot about it. “He was too dangerous. Nobody would ever let that kind of power live in peace. He would have always be wanted, always somebody’s captive. He never could have had a happy life. It’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything to deserve it. But its true. There was never any hope for him. The kindest thing to do would have been to kill him.”

He didn’t mean to say that last part. Because he had killed Delta — and it had not felt kind. The ice felt colder beneath him as he went on.

“I know I didn’t have to treat him the way I did. I’m not saying anything about that. But yeah. I never could’ve let him go.”

Clearly.

“I don’t know. That’s beside the point, now.”

She barely reacted. He thought she might argue. Maybe he wanted her to. Maybe she saw another way out, some path that he didn’t. If he could do it all over, what would he change? Or would he always end up here — and Delta, dead on the ocean floor?

“Why did you treat him like that?” Lorelai asked, leaning forward slightly onto her knees. “…You didn’t have to.”

It felt like being stabbed. But it was a miracle he’d even avoided the question for this long. She’d been patient with him, endlessly. He could afford to be honest. The fever would make it so, regardless.

“I was so angry,” he admitted.

“All the time. At everything. I couldn’t stand it. I hated my life and I hated myself. I still hate myself. The only reason I had to live was to try to keep empire running — and I didn’t even want that. It felt like the whole place was fucking diseased. There was this rot at the center of the machine. He was just the worst of all of it, the worst thing it had ever created. It wasn’t his fault. I know that, it wasn’t his fault.”

“They told me I needed to. It’s his conditioning. He needed to feel powerless, all the time, or he would stop working. I was fucking terrified of what would happen if I lost control of him, if I lost the only edge I had. I was scared of him. And I needed him.”

“I hated needing. I hated feeling like I was losing control. And that’s all I was doing, the entire time. Just losing control, constantly. Over everything. Over myself.”

“It just became a habit, after a while. It started with just…punishment. Then it was just because he was there. Because I could.”

He was acutely aware of how cruel the word punishment sounded in his mouth. He was aware of how absurd it was, without any of the false authority he’d once put behind it. Who had he thought that he was? He’d never had the right.

He forced himself to look up at her, scared as he was of what he’d find. The scars of his body ached in the cold.

“I’m sorry, Lorelai. For everything.

I wish I could take it back.”

~~~~~~~

this is effectively the final chapter of Crash Out

paris and lorelai will return in Destroyer

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @whump-queen @sir-fenris

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[beef-brisket]

Lucifer: Soul mate?

Peter: If it's thee Adam, he's nearly five thousand years old. His soul mate would be long dead.

Lucifer sighed: ...I guess you're right.

Peter: Besides, why would you want to save him? You're here to kill him, sir. That's what Zeus wants, right?

Lucifer: ...He's a victim, Peter. It's not right.

Peter: ...I don't think he cares, sir. And... he may be the one stopping us from getting you out.

Lucifer: Oh, he definitely is... I'll sort it out. Thank you Peter.

Peter: You're welcome, sir.

Lucifer didn't feel any closer to... anything. There's only one way he's getting out, and unfortunately, he may not be able to save Adam. As much as he wants to.

Turning around, Lucifer noticed that Adam hadn't moved, but he could see his golden eyes peaking out over top of his tail.

Adam: ...You should... eNd Me. You... hAvE to...

Walking over, Lucifer noticed how Adam tensed and curled in on himself. His eyes locked on to Lucifer.

Lucifer: I won't do that... if.. .what I've heard is true, you're not a monster, Adam.

Adam scoffed: Look at... me...

Lucifer: Looks don't matter... she lied. About you, didn't she?

Adam growled: Who...?

Lucifer: ...Athena.

Adam: She LIED. AbOuT... EvErYtHiNg... loved... her... loved... AlL off tHeM... but they... hated me... I...don't know... why...

Lucifer sighed. Fucking gods: Did you have a child with her?

Adam: N-no... died... after ThEy were... born... she thought... iT was funny... to TuRn me into... a GoRgOn.

Lucifer: Why?

Adam: M-Males... lay eGgs... hUrTs.

Lucifer gently touched Adam's tail. He felt so sorry for him.

Adam: ShE thought- It WoUlD bE funny.... to TrAp me... in her TemPle...

Lucifer: Trapped? But you swam- I saw you returning the cave from the ocean.

Adam: I CaN lEaVe... bUt... I'm DrAwN hErE... shE maDe this place... m-my NeSt... T-ThEre'S nothing... H-Human aBoUt... Me... used... to be... beautiful... I-I'm nothing... NoW...

✨️Demigod!Au✨️

@things-arent-what-they-seem66 @fanofstuff01

If you two are interested, this is based on an ask I got. I'll link it below encase anyone would like a refresher lol

(Btw, ima made Adam a little feral in the beginning. I hope that's all good 😝)

-

Lucifer had travelled far from his home. He was used to voyages that took him across vast lands and horizons. But, to travel the great ocean? That was new, even for the bravest hero of many legends.

Crewman: Captain! I see land!

The hero looked over the railing, and there he saw it, through the distant cloud and ocean mist, a land so green, it put his homeland to shame.

Lucifer: Very good, full speed ahead!

As the ship sailed towards its destination, Lucifer couldn't take his eyes off the shore. A few miles away, there's meant to be a cave home to oma deadly, monstrous creature. Something neither Lucifer nor other heroes and adventures had ever seen.

And rumour has it, anyone that entered its home, were never seen again.

It is a perfect challenge for someone like Lucifer, who is the son of one of the mightest gods. If he couldn't behead the beast, then no one could.

Before the ship was tied down, Lucifer jumped off and into the frigid water and made his way towards land.

Crewman: C-Captain?!

Lucifer waved him off and started searching for the beasts lair. It's said to never leave, so walking around like this should be safe. For the most part.

Climbing to the top of the bank, Lucifer was Abel to see for miles and miles. And as his eyes dragged along the coast line, he saw it.

A cave that looked like it was made by the earth splitting apart. Like a gash or a wound. The jagged rocks clashed with the lush green grass, the black sand.m and the blacker water.

Lucifer: That has to be it...

Once the ship was docked, Lucifer grabbed his weapons and told his crew to set up camp. He felt more comfortable doing this alone.

The walk was calm, and it helped Lucifer keep his head. Not that losing it was a risk, but he preferred to be in his right mind for when he saw the beast. Most would drive hero's and adventures mad just by laying their eyes on it.

And this one he was hunting was practically deadly. A gorgon. A creature cursed and shunned by the gods themselves. Abominations so rare, the gods demand their severed heads.

No one was entirely sure what a gorgon was or how they wronged the gods so badly that they were transformed into something so horrifying it was often beyond human comprehension. But Lucifer could handle it, being a demigod.

As the man started to descend the hill, he stopped as he noticed a long, large creature in the water, swimming into the caves mouth. It looked enormous, but it didn't make Lucifer nervous, I'm fact, it hardened his resolve.

Lucifer: There you are...

Once he reached the jagged mouth of the cave, he noticed large gouges in the rock. They looked like claw marks.

As he walked deeper, he reached where the water lapped at the sand.

And there he saw his second piece of evidence. Large drag marks in the sand.

Looking forward, he followed the cave as it went deeper and got darker. The place was eerily silent, surely something as large as what Lucifer saw would make a lot of noise.

The cave tunnel got narrower and narrower, eventually making Lucifer duck down. And what's where he saw the rock edges look worn down, and some were even broken. It must have been a tight squeeze for the beast, Lucifer was surprised it could even fit.

Finally, the cave opened up into an enormous chamber. It looked like an old, ruin temple dedicated to some unknown God. Water and light trickled down from the mossey cave roof, and even some birds flew towards the exit.

As Lucifer's eyes followed the sun rays, he spotted it.

A large snake tail hanging over the edge of a circular ruin covered in vines and flowers. It's dark, opalescent scales still dripped with ocean water.

Moving forward, Lucifer was too focused on the beast. He knocked a ceramic pot, sending it over the edge and smashing on the floor.

With inhuman speed, the beast shot up, and its golden eyes were directly on Lucifer.

The creature was shrouded in shadow, so he couldn't see its face, not that he wanted to.

Staying perfectly still, he didn't move until it lunched towards him, taking only five seconds to be close enough to attack.

It was then that Lucifer saw the fury in its horrid eyes. Its teeth unfurled from its mouth, and its claws were ready to attack Lucifer.

But the demigod was too quick. He was gone before the beast took a swing.

Lucifer managed to its track his and managed to hide in a small room of the temple ruin.

The creature screamed and hissed. It was a horrible noise that Lucifer was sure was making his ears bleed.

Beast: WhErE- ArE- yOu?!

Strange. It sounded vaguely human. Bit that was impossible.

Lucifer whispered: Must be a mimic... I'm going to need to keep my witts about be.

[regulus-smith]

Hi! This is a rant about me just 'casual'ly being in love with my best friend.

ba dum tssss. casual by chappel roan joke in the title.

so like. I've been in love with my best friend for five years. She doesn't know. She thinks I stopped liking her two years ago. I never did. Even though we stopped talking as much, I still dream of her. Her long brown hair, her eyes bluer than the shiniest of diamonds, cut to perfection, ones I could get lost in for the rest of my life, if only she wouldn't look away. I want blue to meet greenish grey. I want j to meet e, I want to love her freely. Her smile shines bright, the words spilling out speak to my soul in ways nobody else could. Our minds and souls intertwined. Every time something changes about one of us, it changes about the other. Even when we hadn't spoken in months. I started liking something, so did she. Her sexuality changed, so did mine. We liked the same people, same medias, and same music. We were the best of friends, to put it simply. I've drawn her, but I could never truly, fully capture the overwhelming beauty she possesses. I could never express that to her. She has a boyfriend. I've hinted to her that I like her, but I don't think I'd ever tell her straight up. Another thing is- when her gender changes to male, I feel like a transmasc gay man. When her gender is female, I feel like a nonbinary lesbian. My gender and sexuality changes to hers, as she is the only one I will ever truly love. I could write books about her, but no amount of books could ever tell the amount of love I have for this girl. She makes me feel alive. My heart races, and my hands shake, as the words spill out of my mouth, ones that I don't want to, that tell her things I never should've said. I should've kept my mouth shut before, but I didn't. I should've waited. So I will wait now. She has said things that make me wonder, even though I know they're not about me. She says 'oh, yeah, I like bigger boys and girls' (we were talking about Claggor and Vander from arcane, for context.) I am bigger. She says she loves losers and nerds. I am a loser and a nerd. She likes people with glasses. I have glasses. She likes people who are funny. She laughs at every stupid joke I make. I know they'll never be about me, but I'm starting to hope. The other day she said we did like each other at the same time, a while back. And it hurts, knowing I could've had a chance to be with the love of my life. And I know that's a hold statement, at 14, but I know it is true. I have never loved anyone as I have loved her. Her laugh is like a song my heart beats along to. Her smile is pretty like a jewel. Her eyes are like suns, although they shine brighter. Her hands have been in mine, and I would do so much to feel her gentle touch again. Her hand in mine, giggling along to a cringey song I haven't listened to in years. It hurts so much. I love her more than I could ever say, and to love her in silence is to destroy myself. But if I tell her, it'll destroy her. I'd rather suffer by myself, as I know she is not in the mental state to deal with this. I can handle it. I always have, so I will handle it now. Johanna, if you're reading this, which you probably never will, it is about you. It's Elliot/Ezra. I've been in love with you since we were nine. My love for you has never wavered. Anyone else I've liked, they've just been people who remind me of you. Beautiful, funny, and nerdy. I love you, and I am so sorry that I do.