#oh my god did shadow link tell him this pun

[erwin0859]

hi erwin :D wanderer is my comfort character lately, please can i request platonic wanderer and a reader who likes to affectionately play pranks on him and tell bad jokes? i think his reaction would be pretty funny

-🐈‍⬛

Hello my dear anon, sure! And his reaction would definitely be something 👀 Sorry for the delay also; though feel free to tell me if you like how I portrayed Wanderer here! It may help me for the 2 other Wanderer asks you sent me. Speaking of them... feel free to provide more details or suggestions for the one about reader relating to his past and desire for a heart 🧐

GN reader who likes to prank and tell bad jokes to Wanderer

Ambient music:

"It better be something important, if you have to drag me along."

If it wasn't for you being slightly less boring, to his eyes, than the rest of people, then there's simply no way he would have accepted your invitation.

"The café? What are you plotting this time?"

"Nothing, I'm just taking some time off today, and so I thought, you could come along too!"

"How amusing. And to think you would need my company just for drinking something."

The two of you sit at a free table, in the shadow provided by the café's umbrellas, the latter not even inviting him to remove his hat.

"Speaking of drinks, since you thought it was a good idea to bring me... get me some tea. The more bitter, the better."

"Still no sugar?"

"Of course not. Bitterness is the taste of life, pure and raw."

"Okay, just wait here then!"

He stays in his seat, crossing his arms, waiting for your return with the order, which is placed on the table soon enough when you come back.

"And there you go!"

With a grin that you know is his personal way of thanking you, he picks his cup and takes a sip from it. This improvised trip here wasn't all for nothing, at least... that is, until something felt off.

"... hey, I thought I told you no sugar. Did your little human brain forget about it? Are you taking me for a fool?"

"No, of course not! I only thought that you could, perhaps... sweeten up your mood a bit, for once! I've never seen you smile or relax, so..."

While your smile grew, his eyes opened wide. If he still were a god, stormy clouds would form on the spot right now, upon witnessing the mere audacity to not only add sugar in his cup, but also make a pun out of the situation.

"... I was wrong about you. You are the fool here. Only you would have the nerve to even dare think about doing something like that."

"Oh come on, even for just one time?"

"Not even in your dreams."

An amused grin grows now on his face, satisfied to have turned down your hope. With now your immeasurable disappointment and your day being ruined, you take a sip from your own drink... only to find that its taste is vastly different from what it should be.

"What's the problem now?"

"Why does my tea tastes like... thyme?"

"Ha! Maybe it's about thyme you know your place. Don't think I will go easy on you next time."

You cannot help but blink, causing him to stretch out his tongue to you, in pure revengeful amusement.

"In fact, it's nearly a wonder I felt like holding back a bit on my Anemo powers. These merchants really don't know how to secure their goods. Just a little bit of wind, and then... poof."

"You're so mean!"

"Hehehe... but I never claimed to be a saint."

Thank you for reading! Link to main post

[everyviolink]

[im2tired4usernames]

21 23 31 32 36!!!!!!!!!!!!

already answered 21! I dont have any minis!

23. Do you have any art of your characters?

oh my god SO MUCH ART uh i have kinda been doin lil doodles for my dnd parties since the beginnin! uh https://www.tumblr.com/blog/im2tiredsart is the link to my art blog but here's some dnd doodles to sample!

golly anon friend i would straight up draw comics of every games adventures theres SOOOOOO MUCH ART LIKE 99% OF MY ART IS DND ARTS

31. Tell me about your current party!

Well i guess tech in 4 currently but only one or two really care to communicate so meh

this is "Bestpur and Friends" consisting of 5-0, a Warforged monk and menace to the world constantly vomiting up rope and caused a economic depression. Seraphina half orc sorcerer an actual single mom and party's mom she dose not have a shadow for some reason?single mom to a gorgon and a tieflin and now moth Bestpur a wingless pixie druid he is the party's common sense and is very smart and kind and so traumatized all his friends are dead and he had his wings ripped off. and Moth (Timothy! my Boi!) Human Warlock very slapstick comedy he fucks up a lot he's the winter court's knight and very anxious the party's healer which is BIG OH NO.

and?

The "Brazen Coalition" Ashe's tiefling sorcerer, she likes to buy cursed items and is a lesbian was a soilder and lost her wife Lavender she has no sense of self worth. Abednego,(also my boi) tefling Paladin party's local asshole his name is a pun and a bible ref eldest sibling and religious trauma wrapped into one lil bitch he has a vow of vengeance against his own church also Neil's older brother. Neil woodelf druid aka furry boy scout and baby of the party at age 15 he likes insects and has a southern hospitality charm goin for him. Umoris human? cleric she was a sailor her whole life and is now the party's mom in death very tired and really sweet and kind she really tries her best. Arkashtrew, bard very naive and innocent veeeeery sheltered also tries his best at everything honestly just a good person plays the bagpipes and has a great sense of humor also one of the only people in the party with any brains.

32. Most memorable NPC you've encountered in a game you played in.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH SO MANY TO CHOOSE OK TOP FIVE I CANT PICK JUST ONE YOU'D UNDERSTAND IF YOU HAD MATT FOR YOUR DM OK THEY MAKE REALLY GOOD NPCS AND I GET V E R Y ATTACHED

ok first off Sola they were a warforged monk and a important family member to the vagaband. They were very gentle and kind and very self sacrificing also the only person in the vagaband that probably had any common sense

then we had Racassan who was just a very good friend and member to the vagaband also he was a weirdo who couldnt die and also was very kind but not the smartest he pissed off the gods and also blew up a airship also helped lead the resistance.

Aulo and Colt half dwarves they were cute shop keeper brothers who owned a magic shop and weapon shop hybrid that was super duper cool they also helped a lot with the resistance and had conspiracy theory string all over they're living room wall had a lot of fun banter Aulo was very Mysterious and Colt was loud n silly they both were very kind and also Kozu's uncles so she loved them so much.

and last but not least

Galavant he's very mysterious n sometimes spooky very silly and sometimes sarcastic but always helpful firbolg he has a lil shop n rest place for adventurers and just kinda pops up out of thin air hes's fun I WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW DID THIS MAN BECOME WHO HE IS NOW he knows like ALOT of people and has inside jokes with everyone hes super smart and lhas ot of helpful info i love him though Abed thinks he's kinda a freak.

36. already answered and oh golly gee i've talked your ear off so much already!

[legendofzelda4life]

Overboard

Day nine wow (sorry i get more and more surprised each day that im having the ability to continue this)

Today we have some Wind and Wild platonic angst (why do i always have to do angst with wild??? *cries*

Hopefully nobody dies but I’ll decide it as I write.

--------------------------------

“Hey, Wild look!” Wind exclaimed. They had recently arrived in Wild’s Hyrule where they were staying at Lurelin for a few days. This town had to have been the furthest thing from Hyrule castle. The closest guardian was all the way near the horse god and even then it was closer to the Gerudo Region.

“What is it?” Wild asked, curious to what the sailor may have found. “That island.” Wind pointed across the water.

“Oh, that’s Eventide island. On top of Koholit rock is Korgu Chideh Shrine.” Wild explained, pointing at the shrine.

“I’m sorry, what rock?” Legend asked from behind the two. “Koholit. Y’know, west of Toronbo beach? I thought you were awake when I was telling Time about it?” Wild said. It was true, the previous night he told Time all about the ranch ruins, Mabe village ruins, Eventide, the Spring of Power, basically anything he thought was suitable.

(anything I thought was a reference to another time lmao, I might make a post later)

“No, I was asleep. It’s been a while since we’ve stayed in comfy beds.” Legend said. He looked like he’d just seen a ghost. Wind hoped he was okay.

“Can we go over there?” Wind asked. “No way, Time put me in charge of you two and I’m not going anywhere near that goddesses forsaken place!” Legend exclaimed. Wild and Wind shared a knowing look before booking it to the closest raft.

“Get back here you idiots!!! Wild is the only one that knows how to fight in this world!!!” Legend yelled as the other two jumped onto the raft. “No way Vet! You guys are safe in the village, if anything we’re the ones in danger!” Wild yelled back with a laugh. “Really?” Wind asked in an excited tone.

“Hell yeah, there’s an over world boss on this island. I think it might be a blue, or second grade, hinox.” Wild explained, taking out his korok leaf.

“Whaddya gonna do with that?” Wind asked, cocking an eyebrow. Wild smirked.

“This.” He swung at the sail and the boat pushed forward. “Cool!” Wind said in awe.

The two boys sailed along but as they got closer to the island, the wind got rougher.

“You okay, Wind?” Wild asked. The younger boy was sitting down, holding some of the rope on the raft. “Yeah it’s just, really... me... out here.” Wild looked at the boy in disbelief.

“Did you just make a pun with your name?” “Yes.” “Dear the goddesses you’re stupid.” “Hey!” “What?”

Wind playfully glared at Wild before the two started laughing. “Anyway, we should go back. This is the closest I’ll take us.” Wild said, taking out an oar to turn the boat around. “Okay.” Wind stood back up excitedly, wanting to tell everybody what happened.

Suddenly, a rather large gust of wind came through. Without anything to grab, the sailor was thrown overboard. Sure, he could handle cyclones but he was in a boat. This was a raft. Y’know, nothing to grab!

“Wind!” Wild yelled out, reaching for the sailors hand. “Shit!” He pulled out the slate and made a block of ice behind the younger hero.

It didn’t stop him.

For some reason, the wind was now going towards Eventide. If Wind wasn’t stopped, he’d be stuck there and only one person can be on the island at a time.

“Fucking shit.” Wild said as he saw Wind wash ashore. Wind was basically 50 metres away from the sandbank but had no way to get Wind off the island. Then he had an idea.

Wild pulled out the Shiekah Slate.

“Wind, I’m going to talk you through this step by step.” Wild said, seeing the sailor look into his Pirate’s Charm. (the necklace is called The Pirates Charm)

Wild placed a cryonis block and sat on it. If he stayed on the raft, he’d go back to shore before Wind was done.

Also, he burnt the raft so the boys couldn’t come looking for them.

A few days later

“Wild!” Said hero looked up from his spot on the ice block to see Wind running - slightly limping - on the sandbank toward him.

He was battered, bruised and bloody. Wild would have to heal him up before someone like Sky saw, He worried a lot about the other heroes.

As soon as Wind was on the ice, Wild enveloped him into a hug. “I thought you were dead.” He laughed. Wind hadn’t replied since fighting the hinox. “Sorry, I pocketed this so I couldn’t hear you.” Wind said. Wild squeezed him a little.

“I’m sorry I took you here.” He said. “It’s not your faul-” “Yes! It is!” Wild pulled back with tears going down his cheeks.

“Wild-” Wind was cut off again. “When I did this the first time I was knocked out over and over. I was on the verge of death without my weapons. You don’t know how lucky you are to have experience before doing this!” Wild exclaimed. He went to Eventide not long after meeting Purah and wasn’t very experienced against Hinox.

He doubted Wind was experienced with them but the younger hero had been through three adventures and remembered them all. He had more fighting experience than Wild did his first time here.

But that didn’t stop wild being scared for him.

“Wild, I’m fine. Just a few scratches.” Wind said, looking up at the other blue-clad hero.

“Can you jump that far?” Wild asked, pointing to a nearby ice pillar he made in preparation for when they go back. Wind shrugged and jumped across, using his korok leaf like he had seen Wild use his paraglider to go between these.

“Yeah.” He landed on the other side. “Good.” Wild smirked before breaking the ice. “AAH!!! WILD!!!” Wind shrieked as he was plunged into cold water.

“I hate you so much!” He yelled out in a fit of laughter, looking up to see Wild was gone. “Wild?” He looked around before being pulled underwater.

He looked around panickedly to see bright blue eyes staring back at him. Wild pointed up and Wind looked to see a lizalfos. Wild pressed a finger to his lips and led Wind through the water.

Wind could feel himself growing lightheaded so he tugged on Wild’s shirt. The other hero looked at him as his eyes closed.

He didn’t let the air escape him, just closed his eyes as he strained to not breathe in.

He couldn’t stay awake much longer.

He felt the air leave his lungs.

Shit. Shit. Shit!

That’s all Wild’s brain was saying as Wind passed out.

There wasn’t time to give Wind anything before so the older hero forgot to give him a zora helmet.

“...fault!...” Wind could hear snippets of conversation.

“...Twilight!...” 

“...himself!...”

“...danger!...”

Wind shot up. “Danger?” He asked, scared there was an ambush.

The other eight people visibly jumped.

“Oh my goddesses Wind.” Wild took the hero of wind’s into a hug. “I’m so sorry.”

SLAP!!!

The sound resonated throughout the room.

“Heh. Nice hit.” Legend said, scooping food into his mouth as Twilight glared at him. “What? It was a good hit!” He gesturing his hand towards Wind as he spoke. Twilight shrugged in a way that said ‘yeah okay’ before continuing to watch Wild and Wind.

“This isn’t your fault Wild!” Wind yelled. “Yes it is! You could’ve died.” “But I didn’t!” “But you nearly did on the way back!” Wild got louder and more distressed. “There were lizalfos!”

“I could’ve taken them!” The room went quiet as Wild began to cry.

“I-I could’ve beat those lizalfos easily but I was so mad I let you get lost on the island that my first thought was to get you away.” Wild said, his shoulders shaking as he looked down. “In the end, you could’ve died because of that. I should’ve just fought it, but I didn’t.”

“Will you ever shut up?” Wind asked with a laugh as he hugged Wild once more. “’You’re dumb and I hate you.’ Is that what you wanted to hear?” Wild shook his head.

“Then shut up and stop blaming yourself.”

END

------------------------

Hey look, everybody lived. Surprise, surprise.

But this became more fluff than angst.

I really can’t write just sad angst.

I hope you guys enjoyed anyway lmao

One shot shit

LEAVE REQUESTS BELOW!

REQUESTS MUST INCLUDE: PAIRING TYPE/GENRE/CATEGORY (fluff, angst, etc) PLATONIC OR NOT

I WILL WRITE ONLY ABOUT THE LINKS (including the ravio, shadow, and requested characters. Will not write about whole other fandoms though)

I CAN DO READER INSERTS IF REQUESTED (no oc’s tho)

CAN DO AN AU IF REQUESTED

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Gibbous Chapter 8

Chapter Title:  One Swallow Does not Make a Summer

Summary: It’s fine. Everything is fine. (It really isn’t)

Pairings: platonic lamp, platonic sleepxiety lets finally be honest with ourselves

Chapter Word-Count: 6024

Warnings:  unresolved grief, past minor character death, panic attack, crying, panic/anxiety, emotional abuse/gaslighting, dissociation

Previous | Present | Next

AO3 Link

Hi, apparently I don’t know how to write 2k chapters anymore, guys I’m sorry.  Special thanks to @theeternalspace for her continued support for this AU in terms of brainstorming/cheering me on and to @stillebesat who beta’d this chapter, helping point out plot inconsistencies & grammar stuff. 

--------------

“Hey Virgil, it’s time to get up.”

Virgil grumbled, shifting in his bed, “Don’t wanna.”

A chuckle, “Are you sure? Your dad is making his world-famous pancakes. Better get up before he eats them all himself.”

“Pancakes?” Virgil asked, looking up at last at his mother. Her dark hair was pulled into a loose side ponytail rather than her typical bun. Little curly wisps escaped the ponytail, kindly framing her face. She wore a yellow sweater with a goofy sloth face on it, something that was definitely his father’s.

“I knew that would get your attention, my little poet.” She grinned, affectionately booping his nose.

“Moooom,” Virgil groaned, because he was nearly thirteen and entering preteen angst. He was too old for boops and cutesy nicknames. His parents didn’t quite seem to get the memo just yet.

Mom kept smiling at him, wide and bright. Like she knew something he didn’t.

“What?” Virgil demanded, tilting his head sideways in confusion.

“Oh nothing,” She said, hands gently cusping the sides of his face, “I’m just thinking of how old you’re getting and how proud I am of you.”

“For what?” Virgil asked, confused by her words. He knew his parents loved him. They often proclaimed that with words and hugs. He could take being loved. But being proud of him? That was a completely new territory. He hadn’t done anything to earn this sentiment. He wasn’t the Grade A Student or the Star Athlete. He was just Virgil. An anxious preteen who liked listening to MCR. He didn’t get why his mom would be proud of that.

“Because you never give up, regardless of what life throws at you.” Mom said softly before pressing a kiss to his forehead, “I love you, Virgil.”

“Love you too,” Virgil mumbled, cheeks burning as he threw his arms around Mom for a quick hug. Never gave up? He wasn’t sure if that aptly described him. He felt like a colossal coward, one who always ran from his problems rather than face them. Maybe he’d managed to trick his parents into thinking otherwise. A pang of guilt hit him from that thought. Like a dodgeball during recess. Still, he couldn’t deny the warm, grateful feeling that crept inside of him.

Virgil withdrew from the hug and leapt out of his bed. When he reached the doorway, he paused to turn back at his mother, “C’mon! We have to go downstairs before Dad eats all the pancakes, remember?”

 “Oh yes,” His mother said, following behind him, “how could I ever forget that?”

As they descended down the stairs, Virgil could hear pancake batter sizzling and his father’s attempts at singing.

“Just a small town giiiiirl, living in a lonely wooooorld!”

Virgil loved his dad, just as much as his mom. He loved how enthusiastic the man could be. His dad put his whole heart into everything he did. Even if he wasn’t great at them. It was an admirable quality to be sure. It still didn’t mean Virgil didn’t wince a tiny bit from his dad’s screechy singing.

“Please make it stop,” Virgil whispered underneath his breath.

His mom shook her head, looking more amused than anything else. He supposed it had something to do with how they first met doing a duet at a karaoke bar. He heard the story a gazillion times by now, but it never got old. Especially with his father adding new details every iteration. His mom would hover nearby, correcting him in an exasperated but loving way.

“Hello Dearest.” Mom said, startling Virgil out of his thoughts. He looked up to see they were already in the kitchen. Huh. He must’ve gotten lost in his thoughts or something.

Dad gasped, putting a hand to his chest in a playful offended way, “Love, is that my sweater?!”

Virgil’s mom easily towered him by a few good inches. Some people made fun of Virgil’s parents because of that. They said it was weird for the woman to be the taller one in a relationship. Virgil never understood that arbitrary reasoning. Not when his father looked up at his mother like she was his whole universe. His whole sun, moon, stars and everything.

“Is it? I found it lodged in my drawer. Almost like someone hastily stuffed it in there without paying attention to which dresser they placed it in.”

His dad spluttered at a loss for words and Virgil snorted. He couldn’t help it. Not when his dad was a walking, breathing cartoon character. Anyone could read him like a book from his facial expressions alone. He kept spluttering, his eyebrows nearly flying off his face and eyes as wide as saucers. One unsubtle wink directed towards Virgil told him that it was mostly an act on his part.

 “Well, uh, may I offer you in some….pam-cakes?” His dad asked, redirecting the topic from his haphazard attempt at house cleaning.

Pamcakes. A pun on his mother’s name—Pamela. Oh my god, he said that every time. His mom always rolled her eyes at it, lips pressed together to keep from smiling. She was supposed to be the stoic foiling his comedic. Yet it fooled nobody at all. It was why his dad did it every time, knowing she secretly loved it.

Mom rolled her eyes as always before leaning down to accept a kiss from him, “You may.”

“Really? Right in front of my pancakes?” Virgil said, pretending to gag. As a growing preteen, it wasn’t cool to have your parents be all mushy in front of you. Even if he still thought of them as the coolest Mom and Dad ever. They chuckled, breaking off the kiss.

“Virgil, someday you will find someone you love very much and then you’ll understand why I am obligated to kiss your mother every time I see her.” His father grinned, flipping the last set of pancakes on the griddle.

“No I won’t, because kissing is gross.” Virgil said, childishly sticking his tongue out because technically he was still a child.

“Afraid of catching cooties?” Mom teased.

“I know those aren’t real, Mom.”

“I wouldn’t be so certain of that,” His father said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, “The Cootius Amor is a very real disease. I was under the affliction of it, suffering heart palpitations and an upset stomach. You know what saved me?”

“What?” Virgil asked, despite being suspicious that he knew the answer.

“Your mother!” He fake-swooned, taking the pancakes off the griddle and bringing them to the kitchen table. Mom snorted, trying to maintain a calm composure and failing.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I think you mean ridiculously in love with you.” Dad said, grinning widely when he managed to get an actual laugh from her this time. Then they kissed again, causing Virgil to groan yet again from the syrupy sweetness of it all. But he wouldn’t have any other way. This moment was perfect, a moment he could relive a million times. He knew this, because he had done so.

In this perfect idyllic moment a startling realization hit Virgil. Something he always inevitably realized. Something that he should’ve realized from the start. Something he wished wasn’t true. Because this moment, this shadow of the past, this wasn’t real. He hadn’t been twelve years old for awhile now. A decade almost. The same amount of time since he’d last seen his parents alive and in the flesh. 

This was all just a dream.

God, every time he had this realization it hurt so much. Sometimes he was able to forget his parents were dead. He’d gotten very good over the years at distracting himself. The truth felt far-off in the distance, almost unreal. He envisioned them as simply being elsewhere. Too busy for him to call or visit. As much as that illusion hurt, it was better than simply accepting reality.

Other times, he was forced to be very cognizant of their deaths. The hole in his heart became an expanding void. One that threatened to engulf him whole. Those times he just wanted to lay in his room and just cry. Where all he wanted was their comforting embrace, their words of assurance. But he couldn’t. He wasn’t allowed that. It’d been almost ten years—you’d think by now he would be past the grief.

But accepting their deaths almost felt like a betrayal. Almost as if he believed they were still alive hard enough, then it’d come true. They would come find him and be a family again. If he accepted their deaths, they’d be lost to him forever. He knew it was stupid and didn’t make sense. It still didn’t stop him from trying.

As uncertain as Virgil lived his life, he’d always known without a doubt they loved him. When he made mistakes or failed, they didn’t berate him. Rather, they came alongside him to help him understand and grow past them. So of course fate snatched away the most important people in his short lifespan. He missed them so much.

This was what made dreams like this difficult. Because for a brief moment, everything was back to normal again. They were always so vivid too. He fell for it every single time. It was cruel to gain them back in this temporary sort-of way. As cruel reality crashed into him every time upon waking up. It made him simultaneously want to sleep forever and not at all.

“Virgil, are you with us, bud?”

A hand touched his shoulder, shaking it gently. Virgil didn’t feel it.

“Little poet, your dad and I had a talk regarding your birthday—”

“—tell you something—”

“Virgil, please listen—"

Virgil’s lungs seized up. His breaths came out short and shuddery like a car engine struggling to start. Tears stung his eyes as a harsh sob escaped him. Mom? Dad? He couldn’t hear their voices anymore. Nor was he sitting at the kitchen table, bright light streaming into the window. He laid on a soft surface, his surroundings dark and murky. He was awake.

Awake and with the wound of his dead parents ripped open again. He bit back another sob, sweeping the grief underneath a metaphorical rug. Just like his dad and his cleaning tactics. Maybe Virgil did take more after Dad than he thought he did.

He forced himself to breathe, taking in one shaky breath in at a time. He’d managed to get it mostly under control when an alarm blared. A loud, discordant sound of chaos in the midst of stoic silence. Virgil screamed in fright, hitting his head on something as he jolted forwards. Work—he had work today, didn’t he? Cathy was going to be upset if he was late again—wait no. That wasn’t right. He didn’t work there anymore.

The alarm wasn’t right either. It sounded different than the one on his phone. He glanced around the room, aptly thinking, “Well, this isn’t my room.”

It was dark to discern much, but the one key factor was the window. It had a thick shade better at blocking out sunlight than Virgil’s blanket-duct-taped-to-the-window solution. The bed was nicer, the bedsheet soft and not as threadbare worn as Virgil’s. Where was he?

He couldn’t remember. It was nothing but fuzzy tv static sizzling inside of his brain. Like someone changed channels and he didn’t have the remote to change it back. Oh god, please don’t tell him he drank too much and went home with a complete stranger. He couldn’t handle even the thought of it.

Something shifted above him, causing him to realize this was a bunk bed. It creaked as a blanket dropped to the floor. Or rather, a blanket containing a bundle of something.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Blanket Bundle muttered, slapping a blanket-covered appendage over the Alarm’s OFF button. Virgil inhaled sharply, causing Blanket Bundle’s attention to snap towards him. Fizzy, curly hair spilled out of the blanket, framing a very recognizable face; Remy. He stood there, black shades absent. Virgil had seen him without them before, of course, but it was weird. 

He couldn’t shake the image of Remy with red eyes. Even though Remy currently stared at him with hazel eyes, an unidentifiable emotion within them. His eyebrows slightly raised, his lips curved downwards. Remy almost looked…worried. But then he cleared his throat and with it his expression changed at once.

“Hey Virge,” Remy greeted, casual and cool as usual, “How are you doing? Did you get good beauty sleep?”

Virgil hated that first question. It was too big and ambiguous. Way too much currently for his brain to grasp. Not to mention nobody truly cared about the answer to the question. It was just a thing people were required to ask others. As to the second question, well. He definitely didn’t get good beauty sleep. So he decided to answer neither of them.

“I’m hungry.” Virgil croaked, surprised by the hoarseness of his voice.

“Breakfast yes,” Remy nodded sagely, “The most important meal of the day. Follow me this way, my good homo sapien.”

“Homo sapien?”

“I’m practicing vocab terms for biology,” Remy rolled his eyes, “Like gurl, do not get me started on my biology professor. She’s part of the rhetoric that refuses to see vampires, homo sanguis, as anything but diseased homines. Like, I can’t even!”

He paused, as if waiting for a response. Virgil offered nothing but a blank stare in return. Something was wrong. He didn’t know what. He still couldn’t remember how he ended up at Remy’s dorm room.

 There was also Remy’s behavior to consider. The vampire was a flurry of activity as always. Never one to remain still if he could help it. He moved about the room, putting his sunglasses on as he ranted. Yet something rubbed Virgil the wrong way about it. Virgil couldn’t tell if he was reading into things but it was too fluid and smooth. Perfect to a degree that was unlike Remy’s usual chaotic brand of energy. 

“Anyways,” Remy said, rolling his eyes, “I may be a ‘diseased human frothing at the mouth for blood’ but even I have learned some basic skills like cooking to blend in.”

“I don’t even know how to cook.” Virgil blurted out.

“Yeah well neither did Betsy back in the fifties but did that stop her from criticizing my prized quiche? Oh no!”

Virgil followed Remy into the small dingy dorm kitchen, still baffled as hell. As much as that confusion ramped up his anxiety, a small part of him wanted it to stay that way. It warned him he might not like the truth. In the same way he tried ignoring the reality of his parents’ death.

“So!” Remy said, rummaging through the cupboards, “What are you hungry for? Pancakes or omelets?”

“Omelet please.” Virgil muttered, barely withholding a shudder. He didn’t think he could stomach pancakes after that dream with his parents. He sat on a stool, his legs tucked close to his chest.

Remy, thankfully, didn’t comment on it.

“Good choice, my roommate would probably murder me if I took from his pancake mix. Even though he definitely drank the last of the OJ and left the jug in there, biiiiitch. Good thing he’s not here because I’d give a piece of my mind. He’s not getting away with that easily, no mad’m!”

He casted a look towards Virgil as if saying “Roommates am I right?” and Virgil forced a laugh. It was a pastime of theirs to complain about their roommates. Alongside with discussing their favorite bands, of course.

Remy cracked eggs against the frying pan, his mouth still going a mile a minute. He flipped from one topic to the next, never settling on one for long. There was a high pitch to his voice, an almost nervous energy to it. Like he was putting on a performance for Virgil. Something for him to take comfort and solace in. It grated on Virgil’s nerves. Virgil wanted to call him out on it. He wanted to demand Remy to cut it out. He wanted to know what was going on.

Yet, fear held him back. It clamped down on his throat, like a bear trap and refused to let go. It told him it was better to say nothing than to possibly risk inciting Remy’s ire. Even if Remy had never been angry with Virgil before, did he really want this to be the first time?

So he sat there, too foggy-brained and half-asleep to say something. Or at least, that was what he told himself. A small part of him appreciated the mindless chatter Remy provided. It was a distraction from the daunting feeling he was forgetting something important.

He went to pull out his phone. Just to check the time—maybe scroll through tumblr real quick. Nothing big. He slipped his hand into his pocket, coming into contact with something jagged. Not smooth.

The tv static in his mind dissipated. Crystal clear HD images flooded his mind. The text from Patton. Jerad jeering. The chase around the apartment. Jerad gripping his wrist, squeezing it tightly like a boa constrictor. Dangling over the street far below. So close to plunging to his death. His phone falling, falling, falling to the ground. Into a tiny million pieces. Virgil fleeing, panic pulsing through his veins. Remy? Remy was there. He comforted him. But none of that made any sense. Just like a dream. It had to be a dream. No, a nightmare.

….He had to wake up.

Wake up, wake up, wAKE UP!

“Virgil!” 

Someone shouted something. His name? He couldn’t tell for sure over the raging storm of panic consuming him. Just like it did last night. No that wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. If he repeated that to himself, it’d come true. As true as his parents weren’t dead. Just simply…not around.

Burning. The smell of burnt food invaded his nostrils. He tasted something salty. Tears? He felt a wetness on his face. A hand rested upon his own, fingers thrumming against his knuckles. Singing. A voice low and strained. As if overcome by some sort of emotion.

“We’ll carry on, we’ll carry on, and though you’re dead and gone believe me—”

“Your memory will carry on.” Virgil croaked, causing the voice to stop.

He didn’t wake up. He still sat on the kitchen stool. Only now Remy sat beside him. His expression indiscernible due to his sunglasses. The broken pieces of his phone still dug into his hip. Virgil always found reality more frightening than nightmares could ever be. At least you could escape nightmares. You couldn’t do that with reality. At least not as easily. Virgil swallowed.

“Remy?”

“Yeah?”

“I think the eggs are burning.”

“Well fuck the eggs,” Remy scowled, expression softening as he squeezed Virgil’s hand, “Right now the only thing I care about is making sure you’re okay.”

The intensity of Remy’s words spooked Virgil a bit.

“Well, maybe you should turn the burner off? Just in case it starts a fire?” Virgil suggested weakly. 

Remy stared at him for a long moment. Then he nodded slowly and rose to do just that. He leaned against the counter, facing Virgil once more. His lips twitched downwards but he otherwise maintained a blank exterior.

“Virgil, are you gucci?”

“I’m fine.” Virgil said before he could even think.

“Are you sure of that, hun?” Remy said, raising an eyebrow, “because I found outside my dorm last night and you didn’t know who I was at first. And then—just now…”

“Wait, you found me outside your dorm?” Virgil gaped.

He didn’t pick a particular destination when he started running. He just ran and ran, the world one big blurry ball of nothingness. Did he subconsciously run to Remy, hoping to receive comfort? What did that say about him? For being so needy and dependent on Remy? No wonder he seemed so upset!

“Virge, did someone hurt you?” Remy asked.

Virgil jolted, completely unprepared for this question. It seemed to come out of nowhere, not at all connected to the conversation at hand. Remy’s eyes drifted away from his face, looking at something in Virgil’s general vicinity.  He followed Remy’s gaze to a purple splotchy bruise on his wrist, its tendrils spreading out like a spiderweb. No, a hand. Jerad’s hand. Squeezing like a claw machine and he the hapless stuffed animal trapped in its grip. Virgil’s breath hitched.

“Nobody, I—I just hit my hand against a doorknob, that’s all.”

Remy’s frown deepened. He stepped towards Virgil, who barely repressed a flinch. He looked away, unable to maintain eye contact. Not with the unusual ferocity that emanated from Remy.

“Vee, I’m serious,” Remy whispered, crouching beside him, “I don’t care who it is. If it’s that idiot pup again or even Boss Man. Tell me their name and I’ll beat them up for you.”

Virgil’s breath hitched. Remy was a vampire--one that happened to be centuries old. He’d known this, of course, for some time now. But during that moment, the full weight of it Virgil. Even if Remy didn’t drink human blood now, he had to at one point. Right? Or at the very least, you don’t live that long without committing some violence acts. Did he really know the real Remy?

Paranoia aside, he couldn’t fight other what-ifs attacking him. What if Jerad hurt Remy? What if Jerad found out about Remy’s a vampire? What if Virgil caused the death of his first true friend in a decade?

“N—no one. It’s no one, Rem, I swear,” Virgil said, fear coiling around him like a python, “It’s just sometimes, I get panic attacks. L—like they suck and stuff, but there’s nothing I can really do about it.”

He snuck a gaze up at the vampire, heart hammering away at his chest. Remy’s eyes peered above his sunglasses, narrowed. Remy didn’t believe him. He didn’t need verbal confirmation, he just knew it. Virgil gripped the side of the breakfast bar, searching. Looking for something, anything to help him escape this conversation. A clock. One of those digital ones that contained both the date and time. Tuesday, 9:51AM.

“Okay I won’t—”

“I have to go.” Virgil interrupted, shooting up from the stool. So abruptly that the stool fell onto the floor with a crash. “I—I’m going to be late. I’m supposed to be at work by now—oh my god Logan’s gonna kill me.”

“Wait!” Remy stepped in front of him, “I think you should play hooky.”

“What?” Virgil said, one decimal away from screeching.

“Call out of work,” Remy suggested, “Logan will understand. He’s not that bitch Cathy. And if he doesn’t, I’ll make him.”

For a second he saw the flash of someone else in Remy’s place. A huge, hulking silhouette. A shudder ran through Virgil’s spine. He moved away from Remy, shaking his head.

“No, no, it’s fine—I’ll be fine. I have to go. I just—” Virgil took off, unable to finish that sentence without a sob escaping.

He ran out of the dorm, out of the university campus and to the city beyond. He ran, running from his problems like always.

“Virgil!”

He shrieked, halting to a complete stop. Remy was there, almost as if he just appeared. Out of thin air, no less. Because with Virgil’s head start, he shouldn’t have been able to get to his side so easily.

“What, Remy?” Virgil snapped, hands forming fists at his sides. He couldn’t do this, not now.

Remy didn’t recoil. His sunglasses fully covered his eyes, masking his expression again. Instead he offered something black and soft towards Virgil. A black jacket, one Virgil never saw him wear before.

“It’s always pretty chilly in the library, you know.” Remy shrugged, looking away.

Virgil saw through Remy’s words. He was offering him a way to hide the bruise from visible view. Something that hadn’t crossed Virgil’s mind, really.

“Thanks.” Virgil swallowed, taking the jacket. He slipped it on and left without saying anything else.

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When he slammed Logan’s office door open, he expected to be faced with lots of angry lecturing for his tardiness.  He did not expect concern and understanding from Logan. Like, at all. Somehow that scared him more than the alternative. Why was Logan being so lenient with him?

Sure, today was a fluke. He was usually great at being there on time. A tiny bit of him was relieved about it after everything. The rest of him held its breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. While it didn’t exactly drop just yet…well. The black jacket Remy gave him hadn’t completely worked.

“Virgil, who gave you that bruise?” Logan asked, staring into the depths of his very soul.

He’d freaked out at that question. Just like Remy, but worse. He spoke sharply to a werewolf who growled at him just seconds prior. Logan had been upset to see that bruise—just like Remy. Most people appreciated others showing an interest in their wellbeing. Not Virgil. It terrified him for reasons he didn’t quite understand himself.

The rest of work resumed as usual. Virgil drowned himself in the mundanity. The only thing that existed in the entire world was the library. His whole purpose? Working the front desk. Helping patrons the best he could. Sorting and putting books away. Telling a rowdy studying group to quiet down. Before he knew it, he was clocking out for the day.

That was when everything threatened to fall apart. He didn’t have anywhere to spend the night. He couldn’t crash at Remy’s again. Because if he asked Remy, then the vampire would really know something was up. When it wasn’t, not really. Just a spat between roommates. Sure, it ended in a broken phone, but it could’ve been worse. Like falling to one’s death—

Virgil took a deep breath as he walked the front entrance of the library. His movements stiff and mechanical. As if someone else was manipulating him to walk like strings to a puppet. He could do this. He just had to take things one step at a time. Literally.

Step one, leave the library. Simple, easy. He could do that. Once outside, he’d figure out the rest. Step two? Find somewhere to stay the night. Less easy.

The library’s automatic doors slid open and the last bright, brilliant rays of the sunset greeted him. A swarm of blackness attacked him next. He jerked backwards, hands automatically reaching to grapple with the thing that caused it. He stared down, eyes stinging, at a very familiar black plaid hoodie.

 “You actually caught it! I thought you’d fumble it like a dumbass.”

Virgil stopped breathing; Jerad. He stood there, hands haughtily crossed against his chest. Had he been waiting outside for Virgil? And if so, for how long? Virgil couldn’t take him on in a fight. He had to flee—run back into the library. He didn’t move. He remained rooted to the spot, muscles locked in place as Jerad advanced. To pummel him, or worse yet—kill him.

All color left his face as Jerad raised his arms and…hugged him? Or at least Jerad’s version of a hug. A tight, vindictive squeeze that Virgil had grown used to over the years. It still did nothing to diminish the fear swelling inside of him.

“Aww man, you should see your face! You look like you thought I was gonna punk ya!” Jerad crowed as he released Virgil.

“I—you—the phone.” Virgil stammered, unable to form complete sentences. Jerad didn’t get angry. He just laughed, slapping Virgil’s back in what was a friendly gesture. Virgil winced despite it.

“Oh that! Shit man, you know I don’t really mean anything when I lose my temper. I just can’t control it, ya know?”

Virgil silently nodded, unable to trust his voice in the moment.

“Besides, that thing was old and already falling apart! You know what you need? The latest greatest current smartphone out there! My treat!”

“Wha—” Virgil barely squeaked out before Jerad dragged him off to a cell-phone store. Jerad rambled about stuff on the way there. Virgil couldn’t hear him over the roaring of his heartbeat in his ears. He clung to his hoodie in one arm as if it was a stuffed animal. He couldn’t think. His mind was a myriad of white noise. This couldn't be real, right? He had to have fainted or something. Please let it be so.

“—huh, Virgil? What do you think of this one?” Jerad said, nudging him.

Virgil blinked, spooked to be faced with a display of smartphones. Somehow, they were already at the store. He bit his lip, eyes widening at the price tag.

“I—it’s—I don’t know,” He glanced over to a cheaper phone at the other end of the display, “I like that one.”

“C’mon Virgo! This one comes with a protective screen cover! That other one doesn’t,” Jerad scoffed, leaning in closer, “Do you really want another shitty phone that’ll break like your last one?”

Those words sparked a rage inside Virgil. A fire burned in the pit of his stomach as words materialized at the tip of his tongue. It was Jerad who threw the phone from a five-story balcony. Jerad who always mocked Virgil and acted like throwing money at the problem solved a situation when it didn’t. Not really. Jerad who insulted his friends. Virgil wanted to scream at the top of his throat obscenities at him.

“N-no.” Someone said out loud, shaky and uncertain. 

Virgil jumped a bit at the sound, glancing to see who it was. It sounded familiar. He looked to see Jerad staring right at him, smirking. His stomach churned as a wave of realization crashed into him. Oh, oh. That had been him, he’d been the one to say that. But why? That had been the exact opposite of what he meant to say!

He didn’t have much time to process it before Jerad clasped him on the shoulder, chuckling.

“That’s what I thought! Lemme just—”

A loud obnoxious 80s rock song interrupted him. Jerad fished his phone out of his pocket, groaning upon seeing the caller id.

“Ugh, it’s my mom again. You’re lucky your parents are dead, Virgin, because they are so fucking annoying.” Jerad rolled his eyes, declining the call as he strode off to find a store associate.

Virgil stood there, withholding a flinch. Because he knew if his parents were still alive, they wouldn’t be proud of their son. They’d be absolutely repulsed by his cowardice.

He watched as Jerad chatted up the store associate, his back facing Virgil. If he couldn’t stand up to Jerad—this was it. This was his chance to flee. To run off while Jerad was distracted. Maybe he could run to Remy again. They could get an apartment together, away from both their annoying roommates. They’d laugh together and watch awful movies for the sake of ridiculing them.

 They’d be the best of friends until Remy grew sick of him. Until Virgil became annoying and obsolete to discard like an old flip-phone. Remy was immortal, just like Patton and Logan. It was really all a matter of time before they confirmed his suspicions. They’d get tired of him. It happened. It always happened to everyone in Virgil’s life. Why wouldn’t it happen to them? They’ll eventually grow tired of him and he’ll become their next meal. He’d be an idiot to think any other way.

Virgil turned to look back down at the phone display. He swallowed, unable to dislodge the lump in his throat. His vision spun a bit, his stomach nauseous. He couldn’t move a muscle, just like a statue. Perhaps he could try becoming one. All they did was remain motionless all day and let pigeons poop on them. He’d be better at that than being a human being.

“Virgil!” A hand took hold of his shoulder, forcibly turning his body around to face a new direction. Virgil glanced briefly down to see he was still flesh-and-blood. Not a ivory stone statue, free of all his troubles and misery.

“Virgil, this is Jeff,” Jerad said, gesturing to the store associate, “He’s gonna help with getting your new swanking, danking phone!” Jerad fist-pumped the air, letting out a whoop. 

Virgil locked eyes with the poor slightly frazzled store associate named Jeff and did a small nod of recognition. As if to say, “I’m sorry to be the cause of your agony.”

He knew what it was like to deal with customers like Jerad. He hated knowing it was his fault they were in the phone store in the first place. Virgil sharply exhaled, eyes blinking rapidly to stop the tears from forming. If he couldn’t keep himself from crying then he was truly pathetic.

His awareness grew blurry, almost foggy. His body moved out of its own accord, nodding along to the conversation and following after Jerad. Normally this type of thing would’ve freaked him out.  Given all the panic already present in his body, it might’ve killed him on the spot. Instead he couldn’t bring himself to feel the twinges of anxiety. Or frustration, anger, disgust. Nothing. A numbness took hold of him, wrapping around him in a cold embrace.

Jerad purchased the new phone, true to his word. He fiddled with it on the walk back to the apartment, ogling over its features. Virgil’s legs faithfully kept walking, each step closer to the apartment. His heart beat right on time, his breaths slow and even.

“Let’s take the stairs, get some exercise in today.” Jerad suggested and Virgil’s head jerked in agreement. They took the stairs, five flights and all. Virgil wheezed at the end of it. The pain of getting insufficient oxygen made him feel alive again for the briefest of moments. It ended sharply with Jerad laughing as he patted Virgil’s back.

“I see someone skipped leg day!”

A feeble imitation of a laugh croaked from Virgil’s lips. Jerad shoved his key into their apartment door and unlocked it. Virgil followed him in. Jerad stopped abruptly in the middle of the living room, causing Virgil to almost run into him. He turned around, the new phone clasped in one hand.

“Hey man,” Jerad began, offering the phone toward Virgil, “we cool?”

Virgil spat in his face.

Or at least that sounded better than what actually happened. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Virgil said. He took the phone from Jerad and headed off to his room. 

He sat on his crappy bed, swaddled in his raggedy purple blanket. He looked at the phone, at its glossy smooth screen. It was fine. Everything was fine. Virgil had just overreacted, that was all.

Jerad was not that bad of a guy. He was a jerk, yes. He liked to jerk Virgil at times, get inside his head. He was the jerk that threw Virgil’s phone down a five-story balcony. But he was a jerk who made up by purchasing a brand new one. The phone currently in Virgil’s hand.

His old phone couldn’t compare with this one. Not with its cracked screen and bad battery. This new phone had the latest technological achievements and best camera lens. He wouldn’t have this if it wasn’t for Jerad.

It didn’t stop him from wanting his old phone back. He’d felt so proud to own it after scraping and saving for it. It was dumb but he’d named it Taran and treated it almost like a friend, no more than that. A lifeline that got him through life no matter what punches it threw at him.

 It was okay. He knew eventually it’d break on him. It didn’t matter how it broke in the end. Really, it didn’t. He just needed to move on and stop mourning an inanimate object. Maybe he could name this new phone Taran II in remembrance or something. It was fine.

Virgil kept staring down at the phone, into his reflection in the phone-screen. He looked past greasy hair and dark eyebags into dull, defeated eyes.

He threw the phone onto the ground, unable to bear the sight any longer. He curled up in his bed, head firmly pressed against his pillow, and cried.

[hiddendreamer67]

Sorcerers of Sanderly Place (pt. 3)

Summary: Virgil Baker is a young wizard who despite his creepy aesthetic does not approve of the way his older brother Logan is going behind their parents backs to see his vampire boyfriend Patton.

Check out more of my writing at @hiddendreamerwriting!

October Prompt #18: Fang

(Check my reblog for links to the previous parts and the taglist)

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“There you are.” Virgil looked annoyed, in the middle of a game of finger football with Thomas. The two were flicking a folded-up napkin back and forth across the counter. Still no other customers in sight, although Logan noted that could also be due to the fact his brother had ‘helpfully’ turned the sign from Open to Closed, likely in an attempt to avoid dealing with actual people.

“They are vampires.” Logan explained, flipping the sign and walking back towards his post.

“Wait…like actual vampires?” Thomas looked nervous. “I thought that was just a theme.”

“It’s a cover.” Logan began to tie his apron. “Don’t look so nervous, Thomas.”

“I’m just a big fan of keeping my blood inside my body.” Thomas gulped.

“Invest in a garlic necklace and you should be fine.” Logan shrugged.

“Wait, so how’d you figure it out?” Virgil leaned forwards, suddenly very eager to hear what his brother had to say. “Did you see jars of blood? Did they bite someone right in front of you?”

“Patton told me.” Logan answered, pulling out the dough he had abandoned before. Virgil and Thomas shared a look, both knowing how unhelpful Logan could be with giving information.

“And Patton is…?” Virgil waved him on to continue.

“A…friend.” Logan paused for just a moment too long. “As well as the owner’s son.”

Virgil’s eyes widened, recognizing Logan’s mannerisms. “Oh my god. You’re dating the competition.”

“I am not-“

“Then what’s that slip of paper in your pocket?” Virgil squinted.

Logan was quiet a moment. “…his phone number.”

Virgil let out a groan. “Seriously, the one guy you finally fall for and it’s our rival’s vampire son? What the hell, Logan?”

“He seems to act contrary to the stereotypes.” Logan insisted. “I am approaching this with a scientific curiosity only.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “Keep telling yourself that when you come home with a bunch of love bites.”

Virgil seriously couldn’t believe it. The longer things went on, the more Logan’s secret relationship became a pain in his neck, pun intended. Logan would duck out of the evening shifts early, likely sneaking off to somewhere cool like a graveyard or something to hang out with his weirdly preppy boyfriend. Weren’t vampires supposed to be goth? Virgil hadn’t met the guy, but just staring out his bedroom window Virgil was surprised to see so many colors. It seemed counter-intuitive to the whole bloodsucking monster thing.

There was another problem with Logan’s relationship. Virgil had to repeatedly lie about knowing anything to their parents, and he had to cover more and more as Logan began to get more reckless with his secrecy. It was driving Virgil insane, and definitely affecting his already lousy magic studies more than ever.

“So why don’t you just tell your parents?” Thomas suggested, listening to Virgil moan on and on over the phone. 

“I can’t, Thomas.” Virgil insisted, laying his head over the edge of the bed so that the cool night breeze wafted through his hair, courtesy of the open window. “He’s…. he’s actually happy for once, you know? I’ve never seen Logan so much as take a second look at a boy, but he talks about Patton like he’s the center of his universe or something.” Virgil made a gagging noise. “It’s disgusting.”

“Mhmm.” Thomas made an unimpressed noise.

“...what?” Virgil raised a judgmental eyebrow, hoping it came across in his tone since Thomas couldn’t see him.

“I’ve seen the way you were hitting up the exchange student in art class.” Thomas teased. “The hot British one?”

Immediately Virgil turned a bright shade of red. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He lied. 

“Oh really?” Thomas showed no signs of stopping. “Is that why you two were exchanging notes all class?”

“I- that was just flirting!” A flustered Virgil argued. 

“Virgil Baker has never flirted in his life.” Thomas’ statement made Virgil snort in resigned agreement. Human socialization had never been his strong suit. “You’re head over heels for this boy. And you’re only talking to me right now because you don’t have his number yet.”

“That’s not true.” Virgil argued. “You’re my best friend, I wouldn’t choose you over a guy.”

“And how do you know you won’t go as gaga in love as your brother?” Thomas argued right back, though he didn’t sound very annoyed, instead endearingly exasperated. 

“Because I’m talking to you right now.” Virgil fiddled with his sleeve, biting his lip. “...and I already have his number.”

“You do not.” Thomas gasped. “Virgil! Why didn’t you tell me? Wait hang up- call him! Have his children!” 

“That’s not how any of this works.” Virgil chuckled.

Virgil’s smile faded, attitude turning melancholy as he thought back to Roman’s evening radio silence.  “Besides, I can’t. He said he was too busy tonight.” He glanced out the window, staring up at the stars. It was then that Virgil’s attention was diverted from his singleness to a dash of movement outside his window. A little shape flitted across the glow of the full moon, a small shadow in the darkness of night. Actually… the longer Virgil looked, the shadow seemed to be getting...closer?

Virgil had only just enough time to recognize the shape was a bat before it was swooping into his bedroom and transforming into a fully grown vampire. Virgil yelped, startled into falling completely off his bed and dropping the phone.

“My fangs! Look, they grew in!” The vampire loomed over Virgil, proudly showing off his razorous fangs what felt like inches from Virgil’s face. Virgil gulped, turning as pale as the stranger in fright. The vampire seemed to realize his error, giving an awkward chuckle and backing up so that Virgil could breathe again and see the figure’s face.

“Oopsies, wrong window.” The vamp gave an awkward chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. Virgil looked him over, taking in the way the man was dressed in khakis and a polo. Not exactly intimidating. Definitely preppy, more like a puppy than a predator. 

“...I’m hoping you’re Patton?” Virgil said warily.

“The one and only!” Patton stuck out his hand, but Virgil didn’t bother to shake it. Instead he continued to look Patton over, full on judging his brother’s boyfriend. Even past the fangs, Virgil had to wonder- what did Logan see in this guy? It was hard to imagine Patton as any more than a flower child, and that just didn’t fit his older brother’s serious demeanor in the slightest. 

“Are you going to kill me?” Virgil asked, though he sounded far too casual about the question. 

“What? No!” Patton quickly shook his head. “No no no, I would never. I’m not that sort of vampire.”

Virgil gave an understanding nod. “Tonight was no good for me anyways.”

Patton cleared his throat, looking a bit uncomfortable as he slowly lowered his hand back down. “...You must be Virgil. It’s a pleasure to meet you, kiddo.”

Virgil frowned, not liking the demeaning nickname even if Patton could be hundreds of years old, if not older. “Logan’s door is first on your left.” Virgil jabbed his thumb towards his bedroom door, eager to get the vamp out of his hair so he could continue to bitch about said vamp over the phone. 

“Oh, okay.” Patton gave Virgil an encouraging smile, heading to the door. “Well, see you around then, kiddo!”

Virgil rolled his eyes, picking up the phone again. He wondered how much Thomas had overheard. “You’ll be interested to know I’m not dead.”

“Yeah, ah, what was that??” A nervous Thomas asked, clearly worried for his safety.

“Just got a heart attack.” Virgil shrugged. “Also finally met Patton. Dude crashed through the window.”

“Aren’t you about a billion floors up?” Thomas sounded skeptical.

“Give or take. But he’s a magic bat, Thomas.” Virgil reminded him. Honestly, he really couldn’t see how Logan put up with all of that- Roman might be energetic, but at least he was normal. 

[robininthelabyrinth]

Eyestealer 11 - ao3 link

Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Senju Hashirama & Senju Tobirama (mostly gen, hints of other relationships)

Summary: Hashirama really doesn’t approve of the thoughtful way his father looks at his younger brother’s bright red eyes. He’s sure it doesn’t mean anything good for anyone.

He’s right.

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“Captured by fake plants,” Hashirama says mournfully, looking with very real dismay at the sickly white vines with chakra suppressing seals drawn all over them wrapped around his wrists and elbows and shoulders and all the way down the rest of his body at approximately equivalent interludes. The underground cavern he fell into (was carried into? hard to tell if it's the same cavern at this point) is lined with the white not-plants, giving it a deceptively bright and open feeling. “Fake plants. Tobirama is never going to let me live this down.”

The black-void-vaguely-humanoid-thing that appears to be his captor suddenly gives a whole-body shiver and the blackness twists, transforming until it’s his own face looking back at him.

It's a pretty good imitation, actually; you can't see anything left over from the black-thing it was before.

“You assume you’re going to live, then?” it asks with Hashirama’s own voice. It sounds amused.

“Of course,” Hashirama says, like the contrary asshole he turns into any time he’s being condescended to. There’s a reason he’s given very strict scripts to recite verbatim anytime he’s in the presence of daimyo, accompanied by many, many threats, and he sometimes even listens and sticks to what he's been told to recite. Sometimes. “You don’t actually think that you can pretend to be me for very long, do you?”

Not-Hashirama smiles a nice big old smile that looks an awful lot like what Hashirama sees in the mirror. “I’ve replicated you down to the bones,” it says. “Every scar, every birthmark – even your chakra. Even your Mokuton.”

“Sure, sure,” Hashirama says dismissively, even though a chill runs up his back at the thought of some weird plant-thing having access to the full, deadly extent of his Mokuton. With any luck, it’s neither as creative nor as powerful as he is. “But what about my winning personality?”

Not-Hashirama continues to smile.

Hashirama smiles back.

They might have stayed at an impasse if there wasn’t a groan from the other corner of the cavern, and honestly Hashirama’s never been great at staring contests anyway so he turns to look.

“Izuna, you’re here too,” he says, puzzled.

“No shit,” Izuna says. He’s trussed up just like Hashirama is, except he looks worse: circles under his eyes, unhealthy tinge to the skin. He’s clearly been here a few days. “Be careful. That thing is tricky.”

The creature laughs, drawing Hashirama’s attention back to him, and then bisects itself down the middle – while still wearing Hashirama’s face, no less – until there are two Hashiramas, just like with Tobirama’s shadow clone technique.

“Mitosis!” Hashirama shouts.

The creature stops smiling and starts looking confused.

“What the fuck, Hashirama,” Izuna says pleasantly.

“Tobirama had a microbiological science phase,” Hashirama explains. “While we were working on improving healing techniques. I know most of what’s happening, but I usually forget what words go with what thing, but I remember that one!”

“How are you this much of an idiot?” Izuna moans. “You’re the Hokage of the village, the God of Shinobi, and you’re just – you’re so unbelievably dumb –”

Actually, Hashirama is just easily distracted, bad at starting things, tends to think of too many things at once, and has no verbal filter whatsoever, none of which have anything to do with how smart he is or isn’t, but since Hashirama does in fact consider himself to be something of an idiot (his brother is Tobirama, obviously he’s outclassed in the mental department) and also it pays to be underestimated in front of something that’s planning on imitating you to your closest family and friends, he just shrugs.

Also –

“I had nothing to do with the God of Shinobi nickname,” he says. “I just want to be clear on that. I don’t even know where it came from. It seems excessive.”

The not-Hashiramas snort, and one of them shivers and turns into a perfect copy of Izuna. “If it makes you feel better,” he drawls in Izuna’s snide tones, “I suspect you’ll have a different nickname after I’m done.”

Ooooh, is this the part where they get to find out the evil plan? Will there be monologuing?

“You’re going to stage a fight between Hashirama and me, resulting in one of our deaths,” Izuna says flatly. “Probably me, which will make Madara succumb to the family curse and go absolutely insane, making him kill you – or rather, kill Hashirama, that is, I assume you’ll sub out for the real thing at the last possible moment to leave the real Hashirama helpless – and that, in turn, will get Tobirama to kill Madara. Something like that?”

Izuna is such a spoilsport sometimes.

The not-Hashirama laughs and the not-Izuna smirks.

“Close,” not-Hashirama says cheerfully. “Your peace came too quickly, and despite my best efforts has not yet faltered, but I will make it fail. It will be just as you say, except Tobirama won’t succeed in killing your brother, of course, not even with that stolen Sharingan of his.”

Hashirama frowns.

“Oh, yes, I know all about that. I’d been wondering how you’d managed to make peace so quickly, even over my best efforts, but this…this is better than I could have hoped! A Sharingan among the Senju – that fits perfectly into my plans. All that’ll do is make him more susceptible to the Uchiha curse as well: a perfect tool. Two sides, both consumed with hatred…!”

Yeah, that sounds pretty bad.

“This will restart the war even better than before,” not-Hashirama says with a pretty good approximation of Hashirama’s own glee, except he’s never actually seen his face screwed up in evil laughter quite like that before. “And once I produce Izuna – his body, at least – to prove that it was all a set-up, all the clans of Konoha will unite against the Uchiha, forcing your brother to turn to…let’s say…drastic measures.”

The not-Izuna taps the corner of his left eye, smirking in a way that means nothing to Hashirama but judging by Izuna’s horrified expression means something to him, then adds, “Also, who says we’re going to kill you? Possession is much more effective – and we might need a replenishing source of Hashirama’s DNA if his brother proves insufficient.”

Hashirama really hopes they mean his blood or flesh, not, uh, other replenishing sources because, well, ew.

“You won’t get away with this,” Izuna says flatly.

“Why not?” not-Hashirama asks. “I have before. More times than you can imagine. I’ve infiltrated both clans time and time again, taking on multiple identities, lying in wait until the time is right –”

“Wait,” Hashirama says, unable to resist. “Are you saying – are you really saying –”

The not-Hashirama and not-Izuna smirk at him, smug and condescending and triumphant.

“- that you’re a plant?”

The way their faces fall is hilarious.

Izuna looks like he’s seriously considering bashing his head against a cavern wall right now.

In Hashirama’s defense, as a self-respecting Mokuton user, he had no choice but to go for the pun. There’s a saying, after all, about low-hanging fruit…

Heh.

The not-them recover quickly, though, glaring at Hashirama, and then head out, presumably to set up the utter destruction of everything Hashirama holds dear.

“So,” Hashirama says, a while after when he’s fairly sure they’re alone. “Is that eye-tapping thing some sort of implicit threat or something? I don’t know Uchiha sign language.”

“What? No, that – it’s not sign language. It’s a reference. To the stone tablet, the part about the Infinite Tsukuyomi.”

“The what now?”

Izuna slams his head backwards against the wall of the cave.

“Hey, I didn’t get to see your super special tablet! Your elders said I wasn’t allowed!”

“It’s not a…you wouldn’t have even be able to see…ugh. Never mind. It’s a bullshit legend anyway and Madara would never.”

Hashirama arches his eyebrows.

“…Madara would probably not.”

Hashirama waits. He loves Madara, he really does, but…

“Oh shit we really need to get out of here,” Izuna says with a groan.

“I’m open to suggestions on how,” Hashirama says dryly. “Ideally before we get embarrassingly rescued by my baby brother.”

“I’ve been here for three days and nobody noticed that I wasn’t the one who ‘left’,” Izuna says flatly. He sounds a little hurt by that. “What makes you think anyone will notice when he goes back as you?”

“To start with, leaving a note on Madara’s desk that says ‘gone on mission for interesting stuff don’t wait up’ is a lot more characteristic of you than me –”

“I think I actually did write that note,” Izuna groans. “Did he actually just re-use one of my old notes? This is terrible. I'm so ashamed.”

“– and anyway half the village reported someone sneaking out fairly ostentatiously, and there was obviously no henge involved, so we just assumed it was you. Clearly that’s a mistake and we’ll need to set up more official check-in and check-outs to avoid particularly sneaky infiltrators.”

“Oh, if we get back, I have plans,” Izuna says with all the savagery of a very offended head of village security that has identified a giant gap in his defenses. “But again, that still assumes we get back at all. Why do you think Tobirama will notice?”

“Because that thingamajig –”

“It calls itself Zetsu. Please use that. Have some dignity.”

“You Uchiha care too much about dignity,” Hashirama complains. “Who even cares?”

“Me,” Izuna says. “I care.”

(His lips are twitching, though. Uchiha love to look down their noses at ridiculous people, but they also tremendously enjoy watching their antics. And anyway, Izuna’s been stuck here for three days; he deserves to have a smile put on his face.)

“Fine, fine. Because Zetsu’s imitation of me is all wrong.”

Izuna arches his eyebrows. “It seemed pretty good to me. What was wrong with it?”

“He was happy.”

Izuna blinks. “…and?”

“I’m also happy,” Hashirama explains. “But it takes effort. There’s a difference. Tobirama’s a sensor; he’ll notice.”

That’s not quite the truth, or at least not all of it. Tobirama is indeed an amazing sensor and Hashirama hopes he’d notice just on that basis – he always notices when Hashirama’s doubling down on smiling, so it makes sense he’d notice it when it's an imposter – but regardless he has a trump card. Hashirama always briefly merges his chakra with Tobirama’s every time they’re in the same room together – an old holdover habit from when Tobirama was young and sickly and Hashirama was always trying to sneak him extra with nobody noticing.

Zetsu won’t know to do that, and if he does, it probably won’t have the same effect or feeling.

“And if he does notice, then what’s to stop Zetsu from coming back here and just murdering us both outright?” Izuna says.

“Mmm. An excellent point. We should definitely try to escape first.”

Izuna sighs. “Well, master of the Moktuon, can you do something about these vines?”

“They’re not real vines,” Hashirama says. “They’re fake plants. Plants would be ashamed to be associated with something like this. This is worse than a lawn, and I don’t say that lightly.”

Izuna gives him a strange look. “I thought Madara was joking when he said you had a thing about lawns. Apparently not.”

Hashirama decides to ignore him – clearly, no Uchiha will ever understand his pain in this matter – and tries reaching mentally for the forest.

For a few minutes there’s a lot of nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing –

“Wait, I think I’m feeling something,” he says.

Izuna sits up straight. “You are? What?”

“I don’t – I'm not sure. It doesn’t feel like plants – it feels more like –” He frowns. “Lightning?”

The entire cavern is lit up by a bright flash – not unlike the hiraishin, for that matter – and then something heavy lands on Hashirama.

It lands fairly badly.

“Owwwwww,” Hashirama moans, trying to curl up into a ball. At least he won’t have to worry about Zetsu getting his genetic material out that way, at least not until the bruises heal….

The source of the weight, a tall man with tricolored hair – black and white growing out of his skull, and plaits of bright red woven into them as they form a series of intricate braids – blinks down at him and frowns. “You’re not Tobirama.”

“No, he’s my brother. Who’re you?”

“Your – wait. Hashirama? You got tall! I mean, really tall; I thought Tobirama was joking!”

Hashirama blinks. While it’s true he was rather embarrassingly short for a while there in his childhood – Tobirama was nearly the same height as him for a while despite being three years younger – his teenage years had paid that back with interest. But only someone who knew him as a child would know to say that, and Hashirama doesn’t know anyone with black-white-red hair and braids; those are pretty distinctive, he’s sure he’d remember that.

In fact, the only person he knows who ever had both black and white hair was –

Wait.

No.

“Itama?!”

“Hold up,” Izuna says. “Senju Itama? I thought you said all your other brothers were dead – wait, no, don’t tell me Tobirama’s perfected that stupid bring-back-the-dead jutsu Madara has nightmares about –”

“It’s called Edo Tensei,” Itama says. “And it’s not stupid, just – probably unwise.”

Izuna makes a face. “Whatever. Just…tell me you’re not dead.”

“I’m not dead,” Itama says obediently.

“I said all my other brothers were gone,” Hashirama corrects. He feels slightly smug about being right that his baby brother would rescue them, though he concedes he was thinking of a different one. “Not dead. And officially it’s Uzumaki Itama now, not Senju…wait. Itama, aren’t you supposed to be in Uzushio right now? I’m pretty sure there’s another few years left on that fostering contract of yours before you’re allowed to come home.”

“Yeah, well, I saved Uzushio from being eaten by a giant whale – long story, don’t ask –”

“I’m asking,” Hashirama says immediately, fascinated. He wants to see a giant whale. That sounds awesome.

 “– and anyway to cut to the chase I got permission to go out wherever I wanted,” Itama concludes, ignoring him. Why do Hashirama’s brothers always ignore him? So not fair. “So obviously the first thing I did was come to see Tobirama.” He frowns. “And got you instead. Are you wearing his clothing?”

Hashirama wiggles around to look at his back. That shade of dark blue suggested it probably wasn’t his. “…apparently so? I wasn’t paying attention to what I pulled out of the closet this morning.”

“Are you two still sharing a closet?” Itama says, exasperated. “You’re adults! What will you do when one of you gets married?”

“Get a bigger closet and try to avoid grabbing any kimonos?”

“Not to interrupt this beautiful sibling bonding moment and, might I say, truly wonderful opportunity for future blackmail,” Izuna says, his voice dry as dust, “but maybe you could get us out of these vines and then out of this cave before Zetsu destroys the entire village we’ve been working so hard on? Any time now?”

[krakenator]

CHAPTER 1 aka “Stranger Danger”

I’m rereading The Property of Hate by @modmad and overanalyzing it to hell and back because i can’t stop thinking about the story and getting madder and madder about the PUNS I keep finding. I’m scratching the itch and trying to find All The Details. Current plan is just to go chapter by chapter, feel free to chime in with stuff I miss! There’ll be a masterpost up soon linking everything in one spot

SPOILERS are sprinkled around extremely liberally. Masterpost

Okay, so just a million things right off the bat on page fucking one

‘The Hook’ is of course a term for the beginning of a story. Grabbing one’s attention and convincing them to go off on an adventure, so to speak

Speechboxes! Everybody’s got their own distinctive ‘way of speaking’ in this story. RGB’s are rectangular, but those straight edges are offset by these really loopy, meandering, and elegant speech tails. It’s just. Such immediate characterization.

Like, even the pose. The way RGB introduces himself by crouching on her drawers like an incredibly dapper gremlin. It creates a similar contrast to his speechbubbles- prim and proper existing simultaneously with fae and kinda ridiculous

So considering we’ve got a fairly detailed picture of roses up on Hero’s wall on the comics opening page I think we can assume this is some type of Important maybe. Just off the top of my head, isn’t the rose Englands national flower? IDK how relevant that is outside of RGB being incredibly, incredibly British

Oh god damnit I just scrolled down to go to the next page and fffFFFUCKING BLUE ROSES ON THE BUTTONS okay. Blue rose symbolism! They don’t exist naturally. You won’t just find one in the wild outdoors, so they represent the impossible, the mysterious and achievable.

Seeing blue roses right off the bat = important story theme probably. Impossible dreams are my first thought. RGB’s seemingly hopeless plan to save a world everyone else has given up to be doomed. Hero’s wish to go the fuck back home please after she’s had her fill of deadly adventure. RGB and Hero are setting out to achieve the impossible, defeat Her, and save the World of Make Believe

Last point for the first page; RGB’s drool. Except it’s not drool, we later learn it’s equivalent to blood, and he bleeds emotions he’s feeling. While recruiting Hero, RGB’s prominent feelings are, unsurprisingly in hindsight, a fair load of sadness but tinged with a dose of cheer. His last Hero failed, and every single one before that, but he’s still daring to have hope, the absolute madman. What he’s actually dripping most though is what looks like curiosity- it may be mixed with a bit of anger, which I wouldn’t begrudge the guy. Angry that he has to start over, again, angry that his world is dying, angry that he’d the only one doing anything about it

Ok but imagine you woke up to find a man crouched on your bedside table smiling this super-wide “TRUST ME!! :)” smile and blood dribbling out of it and welling up between the teeth. Like, I’m laughing, but I’d be screaming

OKAY BUT FINALLY WE’RE PAST THE FIRST PAGE. We get a clear look at Hero’s drawings taped to the wall, and check it- one kinda looks like the Idea they run into a few chapters ahead. The other picture might also be showing the House of Paint? I mean, there’s a sun there so that’s off, but the clouds and steps leading up to Madras’ door look right

And now we get Hero’s speechboxes! They’re circular in contrast to RGB’s boxes, and colored orange. The balloon tails don’t loop-de-loop all over the page like RGBs but they’re not ‘standard’ either- there’s always this little jag to them closer to the text

RGB’s speechbubbles are actually one of the plainest/most conventional in the entire story

Excluding the tails of course. Those never ever take the most direct or efficient path to his face. Yeah, it adds an impression of silliness, but also speaks to the fact that RGB takes creative and weird solutions out of situations. I’ll laugh about the entire Click arc later but like really. REALLY. RGB DID ALL OF THAT

I love how Hero’s first actual words to RGB send him immediately into ?????????????. He keeps up this huge grin for most of The Hook and this is the first time his “I’m your friendly neighborhood TV nothing to see here!!” demeanor gets shaken up

the ladder hurts Hero’s feet, so why does she sleep on the top bunk? The bottom bunk doesn’t have any bedding on it so it’s not like she’s regulated to the top by any kind of sibling dibs

Weird... weird detail to be showing us modmad..... 

“Are you a monster?” “the very worst one” that’s a lotta blue dripping off yer chin there, stop crying

The mom is a character for two (2) seconds and even she gets her own unique speechbox; blue, fuzzy and barely connected, which does a really great job of communicating that she’s basically still asleep without ever having to see her

‘happy boi about to bring newest kidnapping to the sky world’

That’s a Mary Poppins reference, that is. RGB exclaiming ‘spit spot!’ earlier also got be thinking of Poppins

Clouds look so fluffy out of airplane windows, I’m honestly jealous

Doors! Gotta wonder where they all lead. Gotta wonder if they’ll get more use past this outside Hero’s recovery Time

I’ve just spend like 15m trying to figure out what the symbols above the doors are and I THINK it’s alchemy? “libra sign upside down” is luckily an easily searchable term, and that symbol in particular is for gas becoming liquid

I think the door beyond that has the alchemical symbol for gold? I’m not having luck on the others, including the door they actually go through here/its sister door Hero opens after the Elastic Valley fiasco.

RGB are you pissed that you had to tell this kid your name yourself? Are you upset about manners?? She’s like 7 dude cmon have you met a 7 year old. Thinking about it, possibly not, all the confirmed Other Heroes are definitely older- they all come across to me as adults

well, actually, who even knows how old Assok is. They might be the exception

The little ‘peephole’ eye popping open when the right key is close is nice atmospheric detail, but it kinda makes me wonder if there’s a person like. Seeing out of that eye. Whether someone gets a little notification every time one of these doors is opened

It’s the World of Make Believe! Stupendous! Break-taking! Modmad is exceptional at colors and beautiful environments full of personality! Hero’s last chance to turn back is gone!

Hero only being awake for 20 minutes before becoming Instantly Tired = biggest actual mood, my god. Me too sweetie

Except I can’t blame trees. And a sort of magical jet-lag effect. Yo, are sleeping tree’s making you sleepy the same sorta thing where when one person yawns everyone yawns

I just really like how this tail loops around RGB’s physical actual legs. It makes it seem like speech is a tangible thing that interacts with the world and that you could, like, touch or something. all it’s missing is a shadow

God, fuck me. That’s the yellow brick road. God dammit. Son of a bitch.

RGB, pg 14: do not touch me, do not look at me, don’t speak to me, you have tentative permission to breathe

RGB from the Market onwards: carries her multiple times (admittedly, almost always exactly like you shouldn’t), picks her up, swings her around, hugs her when she’s scared of the dark, ‘I Have Longer Legs, Hop On’ piggybacks, protecting her by putting his own bod in harms way, general Manhandling of Child

I kid, I kid, it’s more complex than that. For one, RGB doesn’t want Hero getting hurt cause she’s Important and has Heroing she can’t do if she’s injured. Second, that whole “don’t get attached” thing gets thrown out the window on like day 2

“I’ve only known Hero for a day and a half but if anything happened to her I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself”

RGB is honestly... super bad at not attaching to people. honestly, actually terrible at it

Ooh! Those flowers! I didn’t realize those always happen when Hero’s sleeping. They also look like she’s drawn them herself! That’s honestly… lethally adorable

Fun fact technicolor dream shell snail changes colors every panel

RGB bleeds static? What emotion is that? I dig it, unconscious is an emotion and i feel it in my soul

w...white noise.... god DAMMIT

ey, the tree’s look different in the light of day- all those blurry fairy light ‘leaves’ are gone now. 

!! Hero glows the exact same way when she’s asleep! RGB, however, is not. Tree’s have leaves when they dream, huh

oh god tree’s have LEAVES when they DREAM

...we’ll come back to this thought when we get to the sick sun tree cause that thing is a whole other can of Lore worms

In a different direction, there must be some sort of difference between Tree Dreaming and People Dreaming, because dreaming trees do NOT trigger RGB’s weird stuntman nightmares

these particular trees are also see-through; i can’t remember if they’re all like this throughout the world? will have to pay attention and see

oh- OH. also just made the connection for why trees provide a saf(er) haven- bottled nightmares will very shortly be used to dispel fears. Dreams repel Fears! It’s best to sleep near tree’s because just you dreaming might not be enough to keep things at bay while your rest

And the chapter’s finished off with a new character and new speechbox to go with it! It’s the first to use a different font and text color to our main characters

Honestly though, what is UP with the Butterfly? It’s clearly keeping close tabs on them, and only speaks to Hero when RGB is unconscious or otherwise occupied. It clearly doesn’t wanna be seen by him, which is shady. It shows up like twice? And the other time RGB and Hero don’t even know it’s there and listening. Between that and the Eyes, like… does it have it’s own agenda and interests or is it an agent of Hate? Idk man maybe I’ll pick up on more Butterfly stuff on this readthrough

*notices that the plant it was resting on withers once it flies away* ... that’s no good. especially if that butterfly can do the same to trees

...... ah. it kinda can. Consider, please, Hate’s likely role in the demise of the Sun, and Her confirmed ability to smother them in [-----]

Butterfly’s parting words: “be wise”. Hero’s next and immediate action: doodle RGB’s face

And that’s the Hook! Join me next time when Hero has a fun play date with some new friends everything goes wrong almost instantly.

[sceptilemasterr]

Evan Plays The Elementalists: Chapter 1

Believe it or not, I still haven’t actually played The Elementalists yet. About time I fixed that problem!

Customizing my MC:

Getting a real Harry Potter vibe from this music. I assume that’s the idea?

“Eli the Elementalist?” ...Clever, but too cheesy for me. Let’s go with “Phil.” Hispanic face, red hair. 

Wow, it’s actually asking me who I’d prefer to date! Pixelberry, you continue to surprise me. My bisexual ass is gonna pick ‘both’ anyway though.

Well that final message was...ominous. EXCITE!

Beginning:

“Someone not quite yourself?” Huh????

...That’s not my MC.

Oh, it was a dream. Ok.

Alarm’s been going off for two hours, and I’m running late. This book about wizards is somehow the most realistic book I’ve ever read.

T-shirt seems most like what I’d wear normally.

Oh hey, dream guy! ...Er, that came out wrong.

LOL last name dodge.

Me: “For a life of adventure!”

As much as I’d love to blurt out stuff about a magickal world... I don’t think Phil’s supposed to know about that yet.

...I’m starting to get the feeling that Hartfeld’s the only college in the entire universe at this point.

Dream guy again.

(Sidenote: Does his appearance change based on your MC choices? What if you pick one that looks exactly like him?)

Alright, that was a cool animation. INTO THE MIRROR!

...God, I love this background.

Title In!

Is this “haughty guy” the Beckett I’ve heard so much about? Idk but he reminds me of Aleister.

Oh yay, I was right :D

I like you already, Griffin!

So Harry Potter meets ATLA? I can get on board with that.

Me: “This is some kind of school?”

As much as I’d love to start flirting, I don’t think this is the best time.

Attuneless? Is that what they call Muggles?

Everyone is running late for things! Yep, most realistic book by far.

Nice to meet you, Shreya!

Me: “How’d you get stuck?”

Again, a little early for flirting I think.

It only opens once a month? Yikes.

Hey, Zeph. Based on your name... Air Att?

Dr Dillamond?! Is that you?

Me: “He’s super tall.”

“Satyr” might be offensive to him. Better safe than sorry.

I really love Griffin. 

Me: “Is this your way of flirting?”

Now it’s the right time to flirt. :D

Wow, Griffin, you’re cheesy as hell but also adorable.

Magical running clothes? Love it.

He needs my help with something. CALLING IT RIGHT NOW, IT COSTS DIAMONDS.

...Yep, called it. *sigh* Let me check my bank account...

Ah, what the hell. Let’s do this. But only because I like you, Griffin, okay?

Me: “How did you do that?”

Invisibility wards? Awesome.

So Metal’s close to Earth, Air is farther away... Is there some kind of “element wheel” we’ll learn about later?

Hey, we found Not the Room of Requirement!

A ball with a button on top? Griffin, are you a Pokemon trainer?

Creepy doll: “Wow. I hate that.” Took the words right out of my mouth, Phil.

Dragons exist!

Okay, who made the flying unicycle, and can I be your friend?

Pick up the genie lamp.

I want three wishes!

I just said that, Phil, stop reading my mind!

Holy...Griffin’s ball was a star projector? Nice.

...Excuse me, star-tracker.

Loving all these new terms I’m hearing, by the way. I’m a sucker for worldbuilding.

“Earth-Atts are a little more grounded.” Oh, Griffin... keep making puns like that and I’ll love you even more.

Me: “But the company is better.”

Alright, that was awesome. Easily worth 15 diamonds.

Tell her the truth.

I’m thinking if I lie, it’ll turn out she can read minds or something. *Patrick Starr voice* “Is “telepathy” an element?”

Oh, I get to choose! Weird that they didn’t have me do that at the start, but ok...

Going with “Luxen,” after the setting of one of my favorite games, and because it sounds kinda wizard-y.

Room 108? I’ve got a bad feeling about this...

Phil, your name was on the list because a wizard did it. LITERALLY.

“Does this place come with an instruction manual?” Genius.

Oh! Hi, Shreya!

Love the blue fire in the fireplace, by the way. Nice touch.

Shreya’s my roommate? Ok.

Me: “You’re even cuter than before.”

...What? It’s true.

Lava rock runway? Shreya already sounds awesome.

Me: “I know exactly how you feel.”

Seriously, I can relate.

I just wanna hug her, okay?

*record scratch* OK HOLD ON ONE SECOND, PAUSE THE LIVEBLOG. Theory time. The alternate MC in the mirror from before, running away from the monster... did he, like, escape through the mirror into Hartfeld somehow? And in the process he switched places with me? It would explain how no one seems to care that I’ve gone missing back home, and also how everyone just...expects me here at Penderghast. 

...Theory time over. We now resume our regularly scheduled liveblog.

Me: “Why would you do that?”

“Because it sounds like fun.” We are gonna be great roommates.

Getting a Doctor Strange vibe from this door. Cool animation!

So this is pretty much Not Hogsmeade?

Me: “Is that vendor selling heads?”

Are they snarky and have Jamaican accents? Because then I’d totally buy one.

...I was expecting a timed choice with the falling candelabras there. Slightly disappointed, really.

Who’s this? Tree nymph?

...Okay, wood nymph. Close enough.

Me: “I like your shop.”

“If I feel the most strongly about something, is it mine?” I think Aster would get along well with Rocket Raccoon...

Ooh, what are these? Do I get to choose my element?

Hmm, so magick has a finite limit. It has to charge up?

That actually makes a lot of sense. Kudos to whoever at PB thought up this world.

...Diamonds. OF-FREAKING-COURSE.

One choice per chapter rule still applies, so... sorry Aster. At least I get a free one.

(Sidenote: I gotta say, I prefer diamond choices like this that actually involve spending money in-story. Makes a lot more sense than MC always spewing out nonsensical excuses.)

Dreamguy again!

...That’s not the same shadow monster from before.

Me: Dodge it!

Wait, sun magick?! I swear I did NOT know that when I chose Phil’s last name. Seriously happy with that coincidence, though.

Final Thoughts: How have I not played this before?! I’m absolutely loving it. The mystery, the worldbuilding, the characters, just...yes. But the hard question for me right now is... Griffin or Shreya? (Assuming they’re both LIs). To Chapter 2 we go!

Next Chapter: Link

[regrettablewritings]

Dios Meme-o! (Rafael Barba Mini-Series, Pt. 6)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 7 Part 8

Frankly, it had to have been when Lucia got involved that Rafael knew things were going too far. Even Carmen of all people was beginning to join in on the fun! (While Rafael really did appreciate the cup of coffee waiting for him when he came into work that morning, but did she really have to include the receipt bearing the name “Abo-guapo”?) And all at once, it appeared that the dam keeping his cohorts in SVU at bay had buckled under pressure – and the typhoon of fresh, new memes.

The initial, unspoken agreement had been to not bring up memes around Rafael or to laugh about them in his presence. But it didn’t take long for Sonny to throw caution straight into the garbage and use the technical loophole of sending him his latest finds (though, always making sure to precede them with at least one contribution to the case). It didn’t take long for the likes of Fin, Rollins, and even Liv every once in a while, to follow suit in some way shape or form.

By the end of the third week of this madness, Rafael swore he’d seen it all: Gifs of him from the press conference, pastel edits (causing him to wonder what the significance of flower crowns even was), more crude comments about his hand veins and midsection pudge, photo compilations of himself in his attire from previous acclaimed cases. Every once in a while, he’d even receive a screenshot wherein somebody had clearly photoshopped themselves into a picture with him. These were interestingly enough some of the images that caused Rafael the most concern, seeing as they weren’t even using decent photos for their apparent intentions: Were they really supposed to look like a power couple, with him so clearly focused on the press and not by their clumsily Photoshopped-in figure standing behind him? They looked more like prosecutor and client than anything.

What, more gifs of him before the press? Wait, these ones had captions edited into them. Oh, hell, what do they say?

           Rafael Barba: I am here to address the rumors that have been circling about. I’ll be  upfront: Yes, (Y/N) and I have been seeing each other. No, we are not dating – we’ve             recently become engaged. I’ve loved her for many years in secrecy, and it shouldn’t be         a crime to want something beautiful in this harsh life –

“Ugh.” Rafael all but retched as he x-ed out of the newest link from Rollins. He glared once more at the message she’d written in the email:

           When were you gonna tell us that you were betrothed, Barba? I’m sure we would’ve  understood the harshness of your life ;).

The lawyer sighed heavily through his nose as he pressed against his forehead. Rollins had given him some crucial information yesterday, so he couldn’t completely hound on her for slacking off. Yet. But god, was his already thin patience eroding at a rapid rate.

By noon, just as he’d calmed down from the eerie feeling of being shipped with other real-life people, another message came through. This time, to his surprise, from Liv.

He rose a brow. No words; just a link. This could’ve gone one of two ways: Bad, or very bad. He knew better than to do anything about the message, and honestly should have just deleted it on site. But alas, curiosity was such a destructive trait of man, enough so as to overwhelm his sense of self-preservation out of grotesque intrigue. With the click of his laptop mouse, Rafael at least had an answer as to which direction this would go down in: It was a Buzzfeed article, so that meant very bad.

“ ‘Check Out the Attorney Everyone Wants to Call’ ” it read. Before he could stop his eyes from searching the page for more info, he found himself reading the embarrassing excuse for an article:

           The NYPD’s specialized squad, the Special Victims Unit, has had more than its fair share of rough roads. But luckily, they have a secret weapon:

Below lay a gif of Rafael stepping up to the podium on that fateful day where his looks would break the Internet. Inside of his own mind, Rafael screamed for gif-Rafael to retreat and run away before it was too late. Obviously, gif-Rafael persisted, over and over in an endless loop that would reset itself the moment he settled himself at the pedestal.

           Meet ADA Rafael Barba. He’s been with the 16th precinct for four years, and he’s   managed to make quite a splash for all of them. But let’s be real, it’s not just his smarts and courtroom prowess that the Internet has been talking about these last couple of days . . .

The next image was a photograph of Rafael mid-speech and even he had to admit: The angling was just right. The lighting and shadows worked together to properly define his profile in such an appealing way. It was a photo capable of damning a man.

           It turns out that ADA Barba is actually one Harvard-educated hottie!

The accompanying picture came from one of Rafael’s previous cases. One wherein his stance atop the courthouse steps looked artistically posed. With one foot still planted on a step higher than the other, briefcase clutched in one hand, suit tailored to fit, eyes looking elsewhere. Amateur modeling photographers would’ve been proud. To anyone else, he would have looked like those grand oil paintings depicting a conquering hero, the gleaming sunlight only serving to further this victorious suggestion. Even the tweet that the image came attached with went as far as to say, “LOOK AT THIS MAJESTIC MF.”

While visually this might have been the case (especially assuming he’d just exited the courthouse after a victorious trial), the reality was more likely that he had been contemplating getting pho for dinner and was trying to remember the name of that one noodle house a couple of blocks away. The article went on:

           No, seriously, if sexiness was a crime, this man would be guilty as charged!

Rafael couldn’t help but lift a brow at this. A law pun? Really? Hadn’t there been enough of those? He scrolled down further, his eyes first catching the image of him being surrounded by the press.

           Because of the nature of his job (and hopefully single personal life), there aren’t too  many photos of him for us to draw on. But don’t worry: The press has given the Internet just enough fodder to work with.

The image of him at arraignment court prior to the prolific AJ Martin case was posted, courtesy of the blue hellhole that was Tumblr. It was taken predominately from behind, given the position of the press at the time but from the way his head was turned, Rafael’s profile was made just noticeable enough for the original poster to freak out: “He could peck my eye out with that nose and I would thank him for it so long as he left me the other eye to still see him with.” The hashtags visible, aside from his name and title, included #dat profile doe, #LAWD, #such a noble nose, and #seriously tho that profile is perf i need to use it as reference for my art project.

Rafael could feel his teeth digging into his lips as they tucked themselves into his mouth. For a split second, he wondered if he was subconsciously trying to swallow himself.

            Some people are drawn to him for his eyes, the article read, offering an example in an enhanced photo of Rafael that managed to capture his eyes just enough to show that they weren’t an expected brown, but an enchanting green. Having been a tweet, the post’s source expressed that Rafael’s eyes “made them weak.”

           Some just can’t get over this guy’s designer duds, it went on. Beneath the text was a small photoset of four pictures: Each one of Rafael, of course, but each one also had him sporting vastly different color themes. In this one, springtime pink accessories stuck out against the darkness of his pinstriped suit. In that one, yet another dark suit . . . But orange was, in the grand scheme, quite the unusual color to be seen on most lawyers. Even in tie form. The third photo had been taken as he was leaving the courthouse, the billowing wind allowing for the yellow streak of his tie to flutter about, as well as to showcase that even his suspenders were brightly colored. And in the fourth one, purple. Everywhere. Maybe not in the charcoal grey of his suit jacket, but definitely in the primary color of his polka dotted tie, the lines running up and down his dress shirt, and the lightly-checkered pattern of his pocket square.

To say that these were mighty unusual colors to be found in the courtroom (and on an attorney for such horrific situations, no less) would be an understatement.

           And others? They’re finding completely different assets to be won over by! (All perfectly wonderful in their own right, of course.)

These “assets”, apparently, were his stomach and hands (surprise, surprise). Or, perhaps more specifically, the pudginess of his stomach and the veins that lined his hands, as suggested not only by Rafael’s own experience, but by the corresponding images for that particular line: Some of the very same posts he’d seen at the very beginning. The post about wanting to slurp up his hand veins, enthusiasm over his tummy-embellishing suspenders . . . It all came rushing back to Rafael with an internal shudder.

But apparently, not all of the images were of him: The next textual segment (But whichever physical attribute people have found themselves drawn to, one thing is for certain: They help make one clean-cut counselor) was followed by the image of a tan, cartoon fist popping out of a yellow sweater sleeve. The tweet it had come from included the words, “When you catch feelings for the perfect man but he’s a goddamn lawyer.” Rafael almost wanted to feel upset by the comment, but there was just too much about it to figure out what all to be peeved with.

Many are willing to risk it all for this Manhattan heartbreaker, the article proclaimed, their evidence coming in the form of a Twitter post stating exactly that. It was a photograph taken at a gala (God, it had to have been long ago, then), and Rafael just happened to be in just enough of the photo for the dapperness of his appearance to pop. In the background, however, was a man (whom Rafael recognized as a judge) with an expression that could easily be mistaken for subtle lusting. Of course, Judge Khachaturian was actually probably looking in Rafael’s general direction and likely at a woman off camera. But the Internet didn’t know that. Or rather, the Internet didn’t care to consider that.

The caption lining the top of the picture stated that “old man finna risk it all for Barba 😂😂😂.” This, of all things, caused Rafael’s mouth to hang open with shock. The idea of his superior (and much older superior at that) lusting after him left a bad taste in his mouth. But with one last line to go . . .

           But don’t worry: We’re sure he can use his smarts to get you out of it.

Simple, yes, but considering all that Rafael had to go through just to get to it, the cocktail of feelings within him was still quite present.

“Oh . . .” Rafael whispered shakily as he watched the gif version of himself raise a hand and retreat from the podium at the press conference. Despite the ridiculousness of the suggestion, his mind screamed at the gif, Now you leave!? His ever hungry but scowling eyes couldn’t help themselves from scanning the comments section below. Lot of Spanish terms being thrown around there by people who probably only knew them from the Latin Lover craze from the early 2000s. Like June Madoff’s comment on how he was such a “precinct papi”, or Barbra Cassahan, with her suburban mom-ness, having the creepy, middle-aged audacity to call him a “papi choulo.” (Which, Rafael thought in his tempered bitterness and attention to the misspell, was probably the most out of her comfort zone she was willing to travel.)

There was also Celia Esposito calling him “Barbaro Barba”, but he really wasn’t sure how comfortable he was being called a badass under such circumstances by a high schooler, creativity behind the nickname be damned.

But then . . . there was Julia “JuJuBean” Parson: “My friend’s sister sat in the gallery during the Jocelyn Paley case where ADA Barba was defending Jocelyn against Adam Cain. Y’all, she said Barba won the case by letting Cain choke him with his motherfucking *belt*!”

And, for the first time since this entire escapade began, Rafael couldn’t help but feel true a hint of pride. After all, it was by letting Cain choke him at all that he was able to convince the jury to plead guilty and send that bastard to jail where he belonged. He was honestly quite pleased with that little daring stunt, considering how worth it it was to experience such a dangerous discomfort. But even more so, he was just glad that someone had looked past the more superficial traits that everyone else was adoring in order to focus on something more important: His job and the crazy things he did to perform it.

. . . But then he read the replies to it: “OMFG” and “choke me, daddy 😩😩😩!” And those were just the ones he could see without clicking “see more replies.”

At that, Rafael’s eyelids practically retreated back into his skull as his eyes popped more than he even knew themselves capable of doing. The loud clap of his laptop being shut closed resonated within the office, followed by huffy breaths of embarrassment. He could feel his face burning. Of all the implied fetishes and kinks he’d seen centering about him, the use of the belt to choke him was an entirely new one, and one that he could very easily proclaim he had no desire to try again.

ENOUGH!!!

A ragged sigh was released into the air as Rafael pinched the bridge of his nose. Probably harder than he even needed to, anyway. He regarded the time ticking by in the corner of his laptop screen. It was still too early to start sipping bourbon like tomorrow was a dream, but not too early to grab a bite and pop a tablet or two of ibuprofen. Not necessarily what he was in the mood for, but it was a start. Anything to get away from his laptop, which he now deep down felt had been completely sullied by now from all the meme trash he had to view upon it.

Grabbing his phone and wallet, he exited his office and made Carmen aware that he was going on his lunch break. As he headed for the elevator, he could’ve sworn that he’d caught a glimpse of the Buzzfeed article on her computer. He fought against the urge to shake his head in somberness: He’d officially lost her; she was too far gone into the rabbit hole to pull her out of it. Exiting the Hogan Place, Rafael felt alone amongst the crowded streets of Manhattan.

[hoesidon]

I tend to delete fics out of my bookmarks on ao3 once a fic is completed to avoid clutter but here’s a few fam :)  “*” = smutty “ ♡ “ = personal fave  Also, Shallura is mentioned/side pairings in a few of these fics but I think a few of these were written before the age reveal so sorry if that makes you uncomfortable please don’t give those authors grief about it. I put a warning next to the fics that contains shallura (if i missed any i’m sorry). Sorry nonnie all I really read is klance :/ If anyone wants to add to this list feel free.

Klance:

The Ultimate Wingman: by luna_fox Summary: Lance and Hunk have moved in to the new student apartments at Garrison University called The V at Garrison. Living on their floor, they meet and befriend their neighbors: Pidge, a child prodigy in robotics. Matt, Allura, and Shiro, life time friends with the boys watching over their siblings. And Keith, the anti-social boy who hates change. As time progresses, they all become friends and Lance finally finds someone to help him explore his bisexuality - his gay neighbor Keith. They strike a deal = Lance helps Keith find a social life while Keith becomes Lance’s wingman, but what happens when both men realize that their deal has become more complicated than they expected. Words: 133,128 Chapters: 25/25

The Ties That Bind by: Smiles4Voltron, Weirdpersonhere  (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: Lance fell hard at Garrison, unable to stop himself from adoring his rival. However, when Kerberos went missing Keith changed. Through time, Lance got over his broken heart, swearing to never allow himself to get hurt like that again. So how come he is falling for the same tricks a year later when he is reunited with Keith and the two of them get chosen to save the Universe through Voltron! Words: 151,322 Chapters: 25/?

Blueprints by: UnderTheSilentStars  (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: “While soulmarks themselves were common, it was rare for someone to have anything other than the name of their other half…and Lance had a red paw print.” Soulmark Au Words: 44,948 Chapters: 26/?

So Anyway, Here’s Wonderwall by: fairietailed, themuffintitan  ♡ (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: Lance can’t seem to look anywhere but Keith as he performs. He doesn’t bother trying to hear the music over the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. – In which Keith is a bassist and Lance is weak. Words: 59,166 Chapters: 15/?

Ignorance Is Bliss by: YouAreInAComaWakeUp (Nikanaiko)  ♡ Summary: As it turns out, learning that your house is haunted makes the ghosts a lot more aggressive. Who knew? Ah, well. At least one of them is hot. And he’s the less-evil one, too, so that’s always a plus. Words: 172,675 Chapters: 30/30

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things by: Acequisitor  (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: Wine Aunt: Oh shit Hunkin’ Donuts: Great googly moogly Space Dad™: Well that’s enough for today Nigel Cornberry: I leave for 20 minutes and this is what I come back to? Nigel Cornberry: Can you kids relax for just one minute? Words: 23,976 Chapters: 9/?

Lonely Will Wait by: ciuucalata  (also warning for background Shallura) Summary:  “I should get rid of these fucking stars,” he mumbles getting out of bed. Like usually he opens his window blinds, letting in the warm summer wind and the light that steals the stars’ glow. He put them up twelve- maybe thirteen years ago, when he first started to have the dreams(memories?) and when they still reminded him of a time when he was a hero together with a group of strangers that felt like family. They make falling asleep easier at night, just like they did back then, but the panic and the helplessness that he feels every morning are no longer worth it. (or the one with the reincarnation where Lance is the only one who remembers but doesn’t let it get in the way of him finally having a normal life with his old family) Words: 25,527 Chapters: 5/?

True Love or Something (series) by: DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee  ♡ ♡ (also warning for side Shallura) Words: 173,324 Works: 33 Complete: No

The Volton Chat Fic No One Asked For by: fleep  (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: dont hunk with my heart: did u really photoshop ur face over a man in a chicken costume running from the police keith is fine: thats pidge hunk pidge is the police dont hunk with my heart: howd u make that so fast lancemememachine: ive had this saved up for an occasion like this Nobody asked for this Words: 19,281 Chapters: 16/?

legendary meme defenders by: Kitsune300 Summary: getting bi: gbfyhed guys Im dead getting bi:  you might as well plan my funeral space dad: hello dead, I’m dad getting bi: SHRIO STFU smol and ready to brawl: lance that is no way to speak to your father Words: 34,441 Chapters: 25/?

Power-kick by: Johnny_kun  ♡ ♡ (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: “I am so sorry, you just fell so hard for me and I feel bad about it now.” Lance had to admit that his pick-up lines were getting better.

“Did you kick the ball?! Purposely at me?” The black haired man asked, voice laced with annoyance as he got up, ignoring Lance’s offered hand for help.

“It was an accident, really. I was showing my children how to do a power-kick.” Lance’s flirty smile didn’t change the unimpressed expression on the stranger’s face.

“You should show them how to apologize now.” Words: 59,966 Chapters: 23/?

Spaghettification and Other Extreme Sports by: SociopathicAngel Summary: During their final battle with Zarkon and the Galra Empire, Zarkon creates a black hole capable of destroying the universe. Lance sacrifices himself and Blue in order to stop it… and ends up in an alternate universe where everything is just a bit not right Words: 17,978 Chapters: 4/4

The Quiet  by: MilkTeaMiku Summary: Does he not realise he’s dead?

Keith can see ghosts. As a part of his Garrison training, he’s sent to a hospital to do one year of medical clerkship - it’s there that he meets a charmingly irritating ghost who definitely needs to learn what boundaries are. Words: 50,000 Chapters: 25/?

Foreign Scenes by: bwyn  ♡ Summary: Lance has been dreaming of travelling since the first time he heard stories from his family as a child. Now, having finally the time and money to do it, he goes on a trip to Europe to see some of the most culturally rich cities on the continent. Except he keeps bumping into the same guy over and over again, in random cities, doing stupid shit, and ultimately dragging Lance into his trouble, too.

Basically an AU in which Lance and Keith become impromptu travel buddies and get into trouble.   Words: 110,580 Chapters: 13/13

If Fireflies Cast Shadows  by: Sasaina_Ai Summary:  You’d think finding your soulmate would be difficult, since there’s only one of them and over seven trillion people in the world. Thankfully, God decided to take pity on his creations, and gave each person the very first words their soulmate would say to them. It was always in their personalized handwriting and the color that best describe them, decorating the wrist of your dominant hand. And, if you touch it after you meet them, you can send them your emotions, even thoughts if your connection is strong enough.      

And that’s all fine and dandy - except it isn’t.

Because Lance McClain, the fun-loving guy with groan-inducing puns and pick-up lines that never work, who’s six-foot one with a good attitude and a hundred friends, has the words “Don’t fucking touch me, asshole” scribbled in messy red letters on his left wrist. Words: 50,200 Chapters: 3/3

Botched Ink by: Syremia  (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: “Your soulmate is that who shares the same symbol on their skin as yours.” Was all Lance had been teached since a young age. He was the only one in his large group of friends to not have a symbol of his own. Just as he thought he was gonna live alone until he met Keith in a bar. The problem was that Keith already had a symbol of his own. (Warning: Various mentions of heavy drinking ahead) Words: 33,806 Chapters: 8/?

Kiss My Ice  by: delictor  (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: Lance hasn’t skated in a year since the accident that cost him the Olympics. Keith can’t skate for shit but that doesn’t stop him from catching Lance’s attention, even when he can’t so much as stand up after falling on the ice.  ‘When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.’“Soon as we’re off this ice you’re dead.” Keith’s threat is an empty one and he knows Lance can tell by the way he laughs at it. “Serious question though, do you not know who I am?” Lance questions. “Should I?” “No, I guess not.” Lance shrugs. “I’m gonna twirl you, okay?” “No, no don't—wait!” Keith cries out as he’s suddenly viewing the entire arena and his legs go rigid before colliding into Lance’s chest, his chest rising and falling with laughter, hands gripping Keith’s upper arms gently. “Put me back on land.” “Technically, we are on land.” “We’re on frozen water, get me off it.” Words: 40,250 Chapters: 6/10

Entangled by: mackerelmademedoit Summary: When Keith found himself mentally linked to Lance of all people, he never thought that it would end in anything but irritation and misery on both sides. He certainly never imagined that it would be a useful asset in team Voltron’s fight against the Galra Empire. Now if he can just keep his feelings in check, they might actually have a chance at defeating Zarkon.

Needless to say, when he’d wished for a 'bonding moment’ with Lance, this wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind.

(Eventual romance and mature content for later chapters). Words: 101,859 Chapters: 12/12

Crossroads by: manamune Summary: When Keith crashed his Lion into a Galra warship in order to stop it from destroying a solar system, and more importantly, his friends, he was fully prepared to die for it.What he didn’t prepare for was to wake up in an alternate universe where he and Lance were dating. Words: 106,833 Chapters: 25/25

Of booty shorts and Injuries by: Queerswimming Summary: Keith is sure that he’s having a heart attack. Or that he hurt his brain when he fell earlier. Because it’s simply not possible that the boy who’s sitting next to him is not a hallucination. How could someone so gorgeous just sit in an emergency room at night?“Keith and Lance unexpectantly meet at the emergency room in the middle of the night. Words: 23,862 Chapters: 4/4

Loving Him Was Red  by: Resamille Summary: Loving him was red, just like the suit Lance now wears in Keith’s absence. Words: 4,135 Chapters: 1/1

Stowaway by: glubsauce  (also warning for minor Shallura and Hunk/Shay) Summary: When Lance finds a handsome stranger hiding in the backseat of his Jeep on the way to Pidge’s birthday party, he can’t help but wonder what his story is. Luckily for him, after he drops him off at his destination, he quickly gets revisited.

Lance is a bi college student who lets Keith, a dfab genderfluid 21 year-old, stay at his apartment after Keith runs away from home. Words: 27,109 Chapters: 9/?

you never stood a chance by: kagshina Summary: lance to hunk ♡ >i’m gonna fukin die hunk oh mygod i sent >keith a work out selfie that i wan supposed to fcukin send to you and you know what it said >”BET YOU WANNA LICK THESE NIPS” >HUNK I WILL NEVE BE ABLE TO FCE HIM AGAIN I WANT TO DI E(Or, Keith is beautiful, Lance has a crush, and there’s lots of shirtless selfies) Words: 12,221 Chapters: 1/1

little numbers by: ashtxns  (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: brolance: keith is officially CANCELLED Words: 18,441 Chapters: 22/?

Better than coffee by peralta Summary: When Lance tries to curb his coffee addiction by replacing it with boba, he can’t help but linger around a perpetually grumpy-looking employee who works at the nearby teahouse. Keith, despite all the Yelp reviews, turns out to be surprisingly kind. Lance starts coming every day—although he insists it’s only for the boba.

And to complain about the customer service, of course. Words: 21,314 Chapters: 4/4

nothing’s quite as sweet by dimpleforyourthoughts, thebrotherswinchester  ♡ Summary: Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street. Words: 50,370 Chapters: 1/1

Infection by: Talinor Summary: "Citizens are advised to stay inside at all costs until the infection is under control,” Nyma’s voice was slightly stronger when she spoke up again. “And if you come across a possibly infected individual, do not- I repeat, do  not-  come into contact with them. This infection is reported to be highly contagious. If you see someone you believe is infected, stay away and report them immediately. Officers will come to take them to the nearest vacant hospital as soon as they can. Please try to remain calm, and lock your doors.” Words: 20,615 Chapters: 5/?

Six Feet Over by: freshia Summary: “And, right, of course. He hadn’t told Pidge—or Hunk, actually, who was sitting on the other side of the table from him—because somehow “I see dead people” just doesn’t quite have the same effect that it surely had before 1999. Go figure.”

Lance Sanchez sees ghosts. Lance Sanchez also tries his best to avoid ghosts, until he literally can’t, because his new apartment is inhabited by one very confused ghost named Keith. Words: 47,313 Chapters: 13/?

Sweet Tooth by: Huletty Summary: Lance took a breath and walked forward through the swinging door. He kept his mind focused on one task. Get those damn pastries. Don’t look at anything but the pastries, don’t touch anything but the pastries, don’t speak to anything but the pastries. Don’t even glance at the kid with the mullet, who was currently putting frosting on a new batch of cookies, pink tongue slightly sticking out of his mouth in concentration. 'What I would do to have that tongue on my- The pastries!’ Lance jerked his vision away and back to the cart full of stacked trays.

Otherwise known as the Bakery/Cafe/Pastry Shop AU this fandom needs but probably not the one it deserves. Words: 11,175 Chapters: 5/?

Team Voltron: a group chat by: Castielwinchestar  (also warning for background Shallura) Summary: This is absolute trash with a kinda-sorta plot it’s so much fun and I’m basically writing my interpretation of the entire Voltron Team on crack so please read this I promise you won’t be disappointed <3 Words: 23,512 Chapters: 21/?

Skinny band nerd takes it up the ass from the beefcake football captain (series) *by: Lynn1998  Words: 50,727  Works: 7 Complete: No

To the Universe and Back with You by: manamune  ♡ Summary: Lance and Keith were friends with benefits slash tentative boyfriends when the Galra empire fell. And just when their real relationship was starting to begin, Keith took off without a word, leaving Lance with a broken heart and a whole lot of resentment.

Fast forward seven years later and Lance is the only paladin living on Earth, with his cat Peaches for company. It’s not perfect, but he’s happy.

That is, until Shiro summons them to form Voltron again and Lance has to face his greatest fear: the past. Words:10,100 Chapters: 1/3

Nightmares by: Trashness  ♡ Summary: Lance’s nightmares are getting out of control. It’s effecting his and the team’s performance, but he’s at a loss for how to fix this.

Apparently sleeping next to a warm body helps. Words: 14,864 Chapters: 1/1

At A Loss For Words by: Quiznakles Summary: A mission goes wrong and Lance (temporarily) loses his voice. The team starts to forget and Lance doesn’t have the heart to remind them

Or

The weird Mute!Lance AU that no one asked for. Words: 4,282 Chapters: 3/?

True Affection Floats by: somethingaboutwriting  (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: Under the sea, Lance dreams of living in the human world, disobeying his sister Allura’s rules left and right. On land, Keith is tired of his royal life in which nothing ever happens. That is, until his ship wrecks and he is rescued by a mysterious boy with white hair and bright blue eyes.

A fluffy little(ish) fic about two hopelessly oblivious boys falling in love in a Disney universe. What could go wrong? Words: 18,218 Chapters: 4/7

Keith the Cat by: Madame_Kiksters Summary:  He would find him again. He wouldn't lose him like he lost Shiro. Words: 9,468 Chapters: 6/?

Gaining Social Competence by sweet_rabbit  ♡ (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: “My name is Keith and you’re going to be my friend!”

The boy, Lance, looked up from his grass picking project with wide blue eyes and responded, “…Qué?”

‘Kay? Keith thought. Like… “okay?” He said okay?!

It was official: Keith had made a friend. His dad was going to be so proud.

-

Where Keith starts his criminal record early at age five and unintentionally kidnaps a kid who barely speaks English. It actually goes splendidly uphill after that. Words: 10,029 Chapters: 5/?

Say You Won't Let Go by Julietisntdead  Summary: After being hospitalized for a serious accident, Lance comes home to his roommate, his cat, and a... strange ghost?

Keith just wants to chill as a ghost, but his world turns upside down when he meets Lance, the only person who's ever been able to see him.

Despite his own problems, Lance is dead set on helping him. It may be the death of Keith. For a second time. Words: 21,034 Chapters: 10/15

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes by pidgeotto_gunderson Summary:  When Lance is captured by the Galra, the rest of the crew finds him quickly - alive, but unconscious. The team tries everything they can think of to wake him up, but find that the only way to do it is to project another’s consciousness into Lance’s. Keith volunteers, and dives into Lance’s headspace, with only the instruction to bring Lance back with him. But when Keith finds himself getting sucked into the fantasy that Lance has built, he not only has to figure out how to drag Lance out of la la land, but he now has to hold on to the memory of another world - the real world - that is suddenly slipping through his fingers. Words: 50,010 Chapters: 2/2

Laughter Lines by maunder  ♡  (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: Once a homeless teenager, Keith is now a young, successful businessman who owns the most popular new gym in the state. Lance is a surrogate, single dad to his young siblings, and is doing his best to make ends meet. Neither has the time or desire to fall in love. Doesn’t stop it from happening, unfortunately. 

*

“Surprisingly, no one wants to go out with the 23 year old dude with three kids under four and no time or money to treat them to fancy dates.”

“I do.” Words: 46,432 Chapters: 11/15

Bruises Like Blankets to Keep Us Warm (series) by:  PrincexofxFlowers ♡ (also warning for side Shallura) Words: 29,854 Works: 2 Complete: No

A Commutual Contract by SKayLanphear  ♡ Summary: After a terrifying experience during which Lance, seemingly, dies, Keith is haunted by horrible nightmares of holding his comrade in his arms while he took his final breath. To the point where he can't sleep unless he knows for absolute certain that Lance is alive.

And while the attention is surprising, Lance doesn't really have a problem with Keith checking up on him. Or the fact that Keith only seems totally comforted when he can cuddle Lance close and hear his heart beat. After all, there's nothing wrong with two bros cuddling. It doesn't MEAN anything. Or, at least, that's what Lance keeps telling himself. Words: 84,148 Chapters: 13/?

Love Bite(s) by ArchetypeOfAdespota Summary: In which Keith gets bitten by a Love Bug, and Lance is less okay with this than anyone honestly expected. Words: 8,906 Chapters: 4/?

in your shoes by lydiamartin ♡ Summary: Hollywood did not prepare him for waking up in the body of a complete stranger.

Keith tried not to stare at this person’s junk in the full-body mirror. He did not know them, and no matter what Pidge might say, just because he’s Texan it doesn’t mean he was raised in a fucking barn like a savage. He would not act like a savage.

(Or, the one where Keith and Lance live in different cities but swap bodies – and angry love notes – multiple times a week.) Words: 42,320 Chapters: 10/?

Smokey the Bear Has Nothing On You by psychicScavenger Summary: Keith Kogane is on the Altea Fire Department and while volunteering for Altea Elementary's Safety day, he runs into his high school rival/crush Lance McClain. Words: 50,804 Chapters: 16/16

Runner-Up by CalicoThunder Summary: It's been one month since the defeat of Zarkon.

The five Lions have convened and chosen Lance as the new Black Paladin- but this decision causes rifts and wrinkles in the delicate emotional atmosphere of Team Voltron after Shiro's disappearance. With Universe in war-torn despair, Voltron is needed now more than ever- and the team will have to adjust to the new mode and (re)learn to work together.

And all the while, they're searching for Shiro: Where is he? How can they find him? Will they like what they find? Words: 26,008 Chapters: 4/?

The Canvas Effect by neadevar Summary: “For god’s sake, Lance, will you please stop drawing cocks on your arm.” “Hey, no, we have a thing, me and dick face. I draw them a penis every morning and evening on the dot.” ------- Lance Mcclain is desperate to find his niche in the world, thought he might have when he discovered he had a soulmate. Only his soulmate seems to be a dick. Drowning under student loans and the crushing weight that is adult responsibility Lance tries to figure out where he stands in the grand scheme of the universe. He didn't realize everything would change with just a bellybutton piercing.

AU where when you draw on your skin it shows up on your soulmate. Words: 23,514 Chapters: 6/?

Ghost of the Future by wittyy_name, Zizzani ♡ ♡ ♡ (also warning for side Shallura) Summary: When Lance is thrown through time, his future self from one year ahead is transported to the past in his place.

This Lance is faster, stronger, and markedly more mature. Not only that, but he's distinctly more intuitive about his teammates and A LOT more touchy with Keith.

The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance's places and restore them to their original timelines. Things only get more complicated when the Future Lance can't seem to remember where he was when the switch happened, and he refuses to reveal anything about his own time for fear of influencing the team's decisions.

Mirror fic to "Shadow of the Past" by wittyy_name

Words: 38,932 Chapters: 4/?

Shadow of the Past by wittyy_name, Zizzani ♡ ♡ ♡ Summary: When Lance is thrown through time, he finds himself one year in the future, in place of the Lance that should be here.

He finds his team to be remarkably familiar, yet distinctly different. They have more scars, a better grip on the whole saving the universe thing, and over a year’s worth of teamwork to bind them together. But the weirdest part? Keith seems to be a lot more touchy with him. Not that he’s complaining… much.

The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance’s places and restore them to their original timelines. But despite the fact that they’re still his friends, Lance can’t help but feel a little out of place among a team that’s been through so much with a Lance that just isn’t him. And it doesn’t help that the team is on edge around him, refusing to tell him anything for fear of influencing and changing the past. Things get even more complicated when they have to rely on the team in the past to complete the switch, leaving Lance to little more than sit, wait, and attempt to fill in his future self’s shoes.

___________

Mirror fic to "Ghost of the Future" by Zizzani Words: 43,402 Chapters: 4/?

Non-specific pairings:

familiar by achieving elysium (Ogygia) ♡ Summary: Altean!Lance AU. The only one who remembers the fall of Altea, Lance struggles to find a place in a band of misfits he will never fully trust. Secrets aren't the only thing on the rise; on the other side of the battlefield is Zarkon, someone Lance once saw as a brother and now his greatest enemy. But Voltron has always protected the universe, and the Blue Paladin won't stop now. Words: 93,596 Chapters: 28/29

mostly void, partially stars by dakhtar ♡ Summary: “Werewolves can’t be astronauts,” Derek’s annoying voice had grumped. “Werewolves can’t be pilots. Werewolves can’t be fighter jet pilots, Lance, for God’s sake, Werewolves can’t pilot giant space robot cats that join together to become a giant space robot man and fight an evil purple bat-cat empire!”

Well, he hadn’t said that last part, but Derek totally would’ve. (Alt title: seawolf) Words: 17,349 Chapters: 3/?

Shallura: 

Just A Classic PTA Romance by dinolaur ♡ Summary: Shiro and Allura's lives are turned a bit upside down when they receive calls that their sons have been sent to the principal's office for fighting at recess. Words: 25,582 Chapters: 4/?

[bahannah01writes]

Bring Me a Dream (Pt. 4)

Summary: It’s night and it’s time for you to work your magic- literally.

Heyo! I’m a little late, sorry! Wifis been uber sucky at my house for some reason?? I’m not sure, it’s frustrating though, but hopefully you’ll all still love the chapter even if it’s two hours overdue!

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Check out the masterlist is here :)

Tags: @kourt-kay @boots-jpg @bananakid42 @mtttme @let-it-go-and-live-again  if you want to be on the tagged list,  just message me and it shall be done!

 Enjoy!

~~~

     Papers scatter the floor with runes and cryptic messages hiding their meaning from any outsiders as the gentle chirps of a cricket from outside your window brings you a sense of serenity. The moonlight shines in through the curtain and while alone it’s not enough to illuminate your room, when paired with the bedside lamp, it proves to be just right. The orange and blues hues melt together to create interesting shadows amongst your artifacts and along your walls- yet they fail to catch your attention as you have something of much greater importance at hand currently. The safety of your Dreamer, which is above any sort of distraction that’s thrown your way.

     All while wearing the PJs Mark had lent you the first time you arrived, which was delightfully and magically reclaimed, you study the words in your books with utter concentration. They rhyme and create darling spells one uses for such instances like your own, or offer information from the history of your kind and the others who have developed alongside it.  Both are fairly helpful, though you’re focusing more so on the spells before you get into studying the creature inhibiting Mark’s mind. Your finger skims across the pages and once you repeat the mantra enough to memorize it, you get ready to begin the spell properly. Hopping onto the bed, you reach over and turn off the light and air seems to go quiet- your cricket buddy apparently missing, you inhale and exhale deeply. Eyes shut, you sit with legs crossed and your elbows rest on your thighs; the position resembles the one seen in the book and in a soft, hushed voice the charm rolls off your tongue.

     “Yosia kellum o mitisia,” Keep them safe in the night,

     “Ui pulitzia r’obellae,” When we cannot,

     “Ryndo kellum o mitisia, ui denri sezas lot harenae.” Protect them in the night, when their enemies are in sight.

     As the words linger in the air, your eyes open again with a lavender glow shining from them against the darkness of the room. You begin to feel a wave of peace wash over which spreads a victorious smile onto your lips- though the war is far from done, this is a great step in the right direction. That beast is still here nonetheless, but for tonight, he’ll have no effect on your Dreamer. From this point on though, you’ll have to up the security each time with that thing being able to learn and adapt to such things. Turning the light back on you calm down prepare to stay up the rest of the night- which will consist of reading up on your history on how past Dream Makers dealt with threats. Though, the history of Dream Makers is something that’s always interesting amongst many present Dream Makers.

     After all, the tales of the Dream Makers beginnings have been oddly plentiful; each one differing from the last to the point where we don't even know ourselves which version is true and what's not. Though, if one thing is certain, it would be that Dream Makers were not always around. The Avant Period, a time in which there is no record of Dream Makers, was dark in terms of dreams, no matter how scarce they were back then. Creatures of the night would infect the mind and torment the Dreamers, occasionally driving them to pure insanity. They would make reality and fiction cross in the worst way possible, teasing their victims with deadly and sorrowful imagery. Perhaps, that is why the Dream Makers came about- or, at least according to one theory that is. The only resource Dream Makers have of their first presence amongst Dreamers is, peculiar as it may be, from the Dreamers.

     They started to write about us during Ancient Egyptian and Greek times, with characters like The Oneiroi and the god Tutu- both of which granted dreams. Tutu was said to protect against bad dreams and one of The Oneiroi, specifically the one made of horns, was said to be the source of prophetic dreams; as the other, made of ivory, was the source of meaningless dreams.  Although, both were still rather different than yourself and other Dream Makers.

     There was little doubt on the idea that Dream Makers had changed as the Dreamers had, slowly becoming closer to strengthen the link between a Dreamer and their Dream Maker. Somewhere during that time, it was decided that each Dream Maker will have only one Dreamer. This was good and bad; when Dream Makers fell they were easy able to adapt and due to our curious nature, explore alongside their Dreamers. Yet, this also resulted in the phenomena of young Dream Makers being inexperienced and more mistakes being made. This is still prevalent to this day.

     Dream Makers have come along way, but they weren’t the only ones who continued to advance. But strategies of how to defeat these creatures in the night, rose up and for each type of creature, certain methods worked better than others did. Some would be short and sure while others are long-term and can always change, you're currently looking for one that's long-term and sure. Of course, you're not opposed to returning after this trip, but you hope it wouldn't be for this reason.

     The piece of glass you found early sits on the table and you pick it up swiftly before plopping down on the floor. You study it curiously, the beast it belongs to probably already upset with the current spell; but, that's what happens when you're an evil jerk who messes with Mark's dreams.

     Its orange hue reflects the light across the tiny room, sighing, you clasp your hand around it and cease its rays, the shard slices into your palm ever so slightly causing a small droplet of blood to rise. The pain is hardly noticeable as you open your hand, with your non-bloody hand you pick up the slight stained red glass and set it aside as you reach into your bag, grabbing a piece of cloth and wrapping it around the little room if only to assure that there’s no blood stains anywhere else. That would be an odd thing to answer to, after all.

     Your now bandaged hand reaches for a certain book with a dark green cover with a golden pattern on the front, it resembles the pattern of celtic knots with a large branching tree in the middle- it’s honestly quite beautiful and pleasing to the eye. Flipping through the pages, you finally find the one you need and begin to read through them; the information it holds prove to be necessary and helps to build your mental library on the subject. You decide to continue building upon the information for the rest of the night and go from one book to another out of your eleven books to find out the most that you can. In the end, you stay up until the sun’s rays shine through your curtains and make you realize just how long you’ve been up. Eyes scan over the floor, which is a mess by now, and you decide to to clean up before you have a quick charging session. You hide your supplies away in your bag and get under the blissfully comfy blanket, shutting your eyes, your thoughts fade as your mind rests from all the work. You’re happy to say that the first night back has been a success for both you and you Dreamer, you hope it will continue that way.

     “You already packed everything?” You question bewildered by his readiness, it’s not even ten in the morning and yet he has everything needed for the trip already packed up and ready to go.

     “Of course, not everyone sleeps in like you do,” He teases, his smirk threatening to show itself.

     Rolling your eyes playfully, you sigh and poke his arm, “I had a rough night,” an excuse that is an extreme simplification of the truth.

     “Sure,” Mark chuckles and pokes your arm back after tossing a bag into the trunk of his car, “Excuses aside-”

     “Oh hush, I’m telling you-”

      “Excuses aside, you have anywhere you want to go first?” He shuts the trunk and leans against it to patiently await your answer.

      Shaking your head, you simply drop it and ponder as to what you wanted to do, it isn’t long until you come up with an answer. “Can we get some slush before we go? That’s all I want, everything else can be up to you!” You chime with a bright smile spreading across your cheeks.

      He laughs but nods nonetheless, “I should’ve known that’s what you were gonna say.” Mark throws an arm around your shoulder and rubs your arm, his own smile mirroring your own, “How do you love slushees so much?”

      You raise a brow as you start to ask the real question, “How do you not love them that much? They’re such simple treats yet they’re so delicious and chilly! You could even say, I think they’re the coolest!” You offer a playful wink after that little pun- to which he responds with a groan and begrudging laughter.

     “And you still make really bad puns,” Mark runs a hand through his hair and despite his complaint, he continues to laugh. 

     “Then why are you laughing? Huh?” Your lips don a cheeky smirk as you poke his stomach, proceeding to mess with the sweetheart.

     “Because they’re so bad and stupid!” He explains and you begin to laugh with him, his reasoning is obviously flawed as you know very well that you’re puns are just punderful!

     “Sure,” You playfully repeat, hugging his waist, “Now, can we go get some slush already?”

     “If that’s what you want, chickadee,” His voice rings out cheerfully- a light laugh still lingering, he presses a kiss to your head, “Go ahead and hop in the car.”

     Your smirk settles back into a smile and you do just as you’re told, hopping into the passenger seat and excitedly await your kingdom of slushee to come.

     The chilled but divine taste of blue raspberry greets your tastebuds in the most splendid meeting. Mark ends up deciding that the park would be a relaxed but enjoyable day out and so, the two of you are now catching up on a blanket beneath a shady willow tree. Your cooled treat keeps you cool as well and Mark sips on his own, in between sips, the two of you go back and forth with simple questions.

     “Are there any new games you’re really into?”

     “Yeah! One called ‘Prey’. It’s just amazing- everything from the game play to the graphics. Plus, it’s in space! I love space!” His voice wistfully explains his adoration for the game, “I’ll have to show you, I think you’ll really like it.” Mark turns his head over to yours, his eyes holding a soft gaze with your own.

      You giggle and nod in agreement, “I’m sure I will, Mark. Space is pretty cool,” you agree with a beaming smile. Although, the Dream Maker realm isn’t exactly space, it’s also not not space- rather just in space but on a separate plane possibly. A plane that’s abundant with clouds yet still has the stars watching from above.

      “Where have you gone while you were away?”

     You hum in thought and shrug, “Maine, obviously,” you remember that’s where your ‘family’ is, and begin to list off a few more places you hope he wouldn’t be able to poke holes through, “I’ve been through quite a few states of course but I stayed the longest in Maryland, Wisconsin, and Oregon.”

      He nods and before you can slip in a question, he adds another one, “Did you meet anyone there?” While he attempts to ask it nonchalantly, you can sense a nervousness in his voice- which you can’t quite understand. There’s millions of people, how couldn’t you meet at least one person in one state-nevertheless three?

     Yet, Mark’s only asking in a hope to be subtle about a topic that’s been in the back of his mind since you arrived, did you meet someone that charmed their way into your heart like he has? Is there still an opportunity for a relationship to bloom or have you gotten in one since you’ve left? To say the least, Mark’s a bit jealous and paranoid around this subject.

     “What exactly do you mean by that, Mark?”

     He exhales deeply and his eyes shift to yours, holding curious but calm emotions within them, “Were there any others that you had a relationship with?” It’s a simple but troublesome question, because if there’s a chance that your feelings have minimized while his has stayed just as strong as they were before- the joy in his heart would dampen and tear apart like a piece of paper being dropped into water.

     And as much as you want to keep this a somewhat serious moment, you couldn’t help but laugh at that preposterous idea. Setting down your blue beverage, you turn to face him with a crooked smile on your lips, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but is someone jealous for no reason?”

     Of course, Mark scoffs and chuckles, “What? No, no, not at all!” He tries to convince though fails to, his arm reaches back to scratch the back of his neck and ease his nerves. He’s been caught, hasn’t he? Though, it won’t stop him from trying to blow it off, “I’m not jealous, just curious.”  

     Raising a brow, you shoot him a questioning look and begin to think of a mischievous plan. “Oh really?”

     “Really.”

     “If you say so…” You trail off and then proceed to lean into him, a coy smile crossing your lips as you look up him, “Then what about you, Markimoo? Did you meet anyone while I was away?”

     Mark laughs and shakes his head, “No, between projects and work I don’t have much time.” Which is quite reasonable, Mark can be a bit of a workaholic and you can see how that may interfere with meeting new people outside of his career web.

     You nod and bite your lip, “So...Just wondering, how would you react if I did meet someone?” Are you pushing it a bit? Maybe, but only slightly. Besides, you’ve never seen the jealous side of Mark and out of pure curiosity, you now want to see that side of him.

     His brows furrow as his cool brown orbs move to yours, “Why do you wanna know?” A becoming smirk on his expression gives away his own growing interest in the conversation.

     Deciding to be honest, you shrug simply and answer truthfully, “‘Cause I’m curious to see you jealous-”

      “-I don’t get jealous,” Mark interjects though it only convinces you more of his possible jealousy in situations.

     “I’m not really getting that vibe, Mark. If anything, you’re probably a pretty jealous person, huh?” You tease, fighting back a giggle as you watch him shake his head with a sigh.

     “I am not.”

     “You totally are.”

     “No.”

     “Yes!”

     Mark chuckles and runs a hand through his hair, “What about you?”

     His questions catches you off guard, you tilt your hand and repeat his question, “What about me?”

     It’s now his time to be overconfident, which isn’t exactly a rare occurrence to begin with. “How jealous do you get?”

     You think for a moment and begin to realize that, in fact, you would be rather jealous if Mark had found someone. Though, you aren’t quite sure if that’s due to the celestial bond, a Dream Maker’s natural possessiveness over Dreamers, or just your own personality- or possibly a combination of the three. You laugh and nod, “I think I would be fairly jealous, not gonna lie.”

     Mark chuckles and smiles happily, “Then, maybe, just maybe, I think I may have been a bit jealous if you had met someone.” To know that you’d be jealous if he had found someone, well, it actually makes him delighted and hopeful that you do still return your feelings for him.

     “Good! I think I’d love to see you being jealous,” You admit, as you find yourself being pulled closer to him, his arm settling around your waist.

     “I think I’d like to see you jealous too,” Mark agrees, another chuckle flowing sweetly from his lips, “It’d be funny!”

     You roll your eyes playfully and poke his chest, “You’d be the funny one, if anything!”

     “No,” He ‘corrects’ as he then uses an oddly high pitched voice to say the rest, “Oh Markimoo! Stop talking to her! My heart, I can’t stand it! Markimoo, no!”

     Your eyes narrow as you watch this peculiar mockery of his, you groan and run a hand through your locks. If he’s going to play this way, then so are you. In the best baritone voice you can do, you start, “My chickadee stop talking to him! I’m way more handsome and funny than he is, guaranteed! Baby, no!”

     This eventually progresses into a playful banter and somehow ends up with the two of you running from each other in the park; namely, you are running away from Mark. Yet, the two of you never seem to stop laughing even if it causes you to lose your breath quicker, it can’t be helped.

     A pair of strong arms lift you up and throw you onto their owner’s shoulder, “Mark! Put me down!” You try to be demanding but your bout of giggles make it hard to do so.

     “Never!” He screams, and while you can’t see his face, you can hear that boastful smile in his voice and a similar one begins to spread onto your own lips.

     “You’re such an idiot!”

     “I'm your idiot, baby!”

 ~~~

If you enjoyed, please feel free to leave a comment or a like! Either are wonderful and motivate me greatly! :D 

[clamonnaturalhealth]

As hard as it is to believe, they are six months old! From those tiny little babies that entered our lives so unexpectedly to half a year old. Every day that passes their personalities get bigger and so do they. As I have told y’all in earlier post, we kept 3 kits Cyan, Kami, and George, as well as mom, Carmel. Two kittens went to new home, Jinx to our daughter Megan and Cleo to our friend Gabby. Call us nuts but having six cats is mostly fun, but sometimes crazy and frustrating. We have mamma, Carmel, the three kittens, and our boys Fabio, who is 12 and Beeker who is now 5. Okay now on to what you came here to read, all about the kittens, just 1 more thing; a new product I found for pets, that I highly recommend! Read on….

Fabio

Caramel (aka mamma)

Beeker

Well I told y’all in the last update we were attempting to toilet train, at least, Carmel and the kittens, so much for that idea! Only Kami got it and only part of the time so we gave up on that experiment! We are now moving to an automatic flushing potty, because litter boxes with six cats is ridiculous! Well any way you put it six cats is ridiculous, but my husband loves them and since he was a deprived military brat who was only allowed to have a hamster I’ll give him this one. Who am I kidding, I love them too and they are good company while I’m here all day by myself writing. They do get aggravating when I’m trying to work and they are determined to “help” by getting in my lap and pushing keys on the laptop or playing with the iPad screen. I must admit they have been good for me, something I haven’t talked about is losing my best friend of 13 years in late May. Boudreaux was my first dog and I had him since he was just six weeks old. He had been with me through thick and thin, my illnesses, the auto accident, the long recovery from my injuries, and the hard work it took to get back to this close to normal. I miss him terribly, as I type tears spill down my cheeks, loosing him is still to tender on my heart to talk about. The kittens entered our life just six weeks before Boo left for heaven and they were a God send! Literally!! They have kept me entertained and distracted from my grief.

George is the biggest six month old kitten I’ve ever seen! His nickname after he was born was Bruiser, and his size still measures up to that name. However, his personality couldn’t be more opposite! He’s just a big ‘ol lovable orange teddy bear! He’s calm, cool, collected and loves nothing more than sitting in your lap purrrrring and sleeping. When he does manage to gather the energy to play his favorite toy is a drinking straw! So much so I can’t have a straw in my glass and take my eyes off it! He stole my straw out of my glass today, with it in my hand! About the only other thing he loves is a tunnel my husband bought them and it’s even better if his straw isn’t to long and he can get it in his tunnel.

Kami is still the sweetheart of the bunch. She has big green eyes that are always watching and learning. She has an old ratty mouse (pun intended) that she loves and if she’s going to play it’s with that mouse or with her siblings. She loves to sleep on the couch by her mamma, and when my husband gets home from work she is in his lap. I have even seen her back down the sixty-five pound dog because my husband is HER person! She wears a bright pink collar with a bell that’s not needed cause she is mostly chill all the time. She did give us a scare a couple weeks ago, when she developed a cough out of the blue. After a couple of days of this odd, random, cough we took her in to the veterinarian and she was diagnosed with asthma. Yes, cats can have asthma! After a steroid shot and a round of antibiotics, which she was wonderful about taking, she’s not had any further issues. But just in case we changed to a dust free litter and took the lid off the litter box. We haven’t made to move to the flushable litter box yet, but it’s on the top of my wish list on Amazon!

Cyan! What can I say… I could write a book just about her! I am her person! Period end of story! Just ask her. She is active, crazy, and oh so smart! She loves to play fetch, especially at five in the morning, when I am trying to sleep. She loves all the toys, balls, the tunnel, scrunchy toys, fuzz, bugs, and on and on. Nothing is safe! She knows, very well, the rules of the house, but doesn’t care and does it anyway! Gets on the table, the counters, swings from the curtains, everything. Where she is concerned the squirt bottle filled with water is my best friend. She saw Fabio on the top of the refrigerator, hiding out from the kittens, and thought I can do that! Never mind it’s a big time no, no and Fabio got in trouble, it took me two weeks with the squirt bottle to break her of getting up there. She is so stubborn and strong willed and keeps me on my toes and laughing a lot! Sometimes I don’t know what I’m going to do with her, but I also have no idea what I’d do without her!

Jinx lives in Michigan, with our daughter and her husband. He is such a handsome boy! He LOVES his dog, Willow, they are best buds and he gets frustrated when Willow goes outside and he can’t go too, but sometimes he try’s to sneak out too, but quickly rethinks that. He is chatty, loves to tell you all about his day while everyone was at work. Mr. Jinx likes to cuddle and try and sneak food away from Hobbes, his older cat brother. He will catch the ceiling fan (see photo), he just knows it! He’s vocal about his breakfast, and his second breakfast and if you even think about missing his dinner!

Cleo (short for Cleopatra) looks the most like her mamma. She is getting more and more color in her coat and even had a beige tip on her tail like mamma. She is snugly, she loves to follow her human mom, Gabby, around and be where she is. She’s totally a mamma’s girl! She likes to play fetch only with milk jug lids. One of her other favorite pass times is bugging her big “sister” Shadow, who was perfectly happy being an only child. She also likes to pull her combo food and water bowl across the floor, just to make a mess for mom! And they all love boxes! We never thought we would have to keep so many boxes!

First article on 5 Kittens and a Blog   

5 Kittens and a Blog (6week update)

5 Kittens and a Blog (8 week old update)

5 Kittens and a Blog (4 month update)

The new product I was telling you about is a CBD Oil for pets! The company is reputable, FDA approved, organic, non GMO and made in the USA. I wish I had this product for Boo, before he got sick. I can’t help thinking maybe it would have made a difference and he could have stayed with me a few more years. Here is the information and the link to order. I have been taking the human version of this CBD Oil for months and it has helped me considerably! I have Fibromyalgia, disabling injuries from an auto/semi accident, and Lupus. I have seen a major improvement in my pain levels and sleep quality since starting Hempworx CBD Oil. I highly recommend it for humans and our beloved pets!

Alternative Pet Care (Supplements for cats)

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  5 Kittens and a Blog (6 month update) As hard as it is to believe, they are six months old! From those tiny little babies that entered our lives so unexpectedly to half a year old.

[hoesidon]

Klance Fic Recs:

A mutual of mine @ichaotic-neutrali wanted some fic recs so here’s some of my favorites. If anyone has any recommendations please feel free to add on!

The Ultimate Wingman: by luna_fox Summary: Lance and Hunk have moved in to the new student apartments at Garrison University called The V at Garrison. Living on their floor, they meet and befriend their neighbors: Pidge, a child prodigy in robotics. Matt, Allura, and Shiro, life time friends with the boys watching over their siblings. And Keith, the anti-social boy who hates change. As time progresses, they all become friends and Lance finally finds someone to help him explore his bisexuality - his gay neighbor Keith. They strike a deal = Lance helps Keith find a social life while Keith becomes Lance's wingman, but what happens when both men realize that their deal has become more complicated than they expected. Words: 60,290 Chapters: 11/?

The Ties That Bind by: Smiles4Voltron, Weirdpersonhere Summary: Lance fell hard at Garrison, unable to stop himself from adoring his rival. However, when Kerberos went missing Keith changed. Through time, Lance got over his broken heart, swearing to never allow himself to get hurt like that again. So how come he is falling for the same tricks a year later when he is reunited with Keith and the two of them get chosen to save the Universe through Voltron! Words: 71,750 Chapters: 12/?

Blueprints by: UnderTheSilentStars Summary: "While soulmarks themselves were common, it was rare for someone to have anything other than the name of their other half...and Lance had a red paw print." Soulmark Au Words: 39,204 Chapters: 23/?

So Anyway, Here's Wonderwall by: fairietailed, themuffintitan Summary: Lance can't seem to look anywhere but Keith as he performs. He doesn’t bother trying to hear the music over the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. -- In which Keith is a bassist and Lance is weak. Words: 59,166 Chapters: 15/?

Ignorance Is Bliss by: YouAreInAComaWakeUp (Nikanaiko) Summary: As it turns out, learning that your house is haunted makes the ghosts a lot more aggressive. Who knew? Ah, well. At least one of them is hot. And he's the less-evil one, too, so that's always a plus. Words: 6,443 Chapters: 1/?

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things by: Acequisitor Summary: Wine Aunt: Oh shit Hunkin' Donuts: Great googly moogly Space Dad™: Well that's enough for today Nigel Cornberry: I leave for 20 minutes and this is what I come back to? Nigel Cornberry: Can you kids relax for just one minute? Words: 18, 002 Chapters: 7/?

Lonely Will Wait by: ciuucalata Summary:  “I should get rid of these fucking stars,” he mumbles getting out of bed. Like usually he opens his window blinds, letting in the warm summer wind and the light that steals the stars’ glow. He put them up twelve- maybe thirteen years ago, when he first started to have the dreams(memories?) and when they still reminded him of a time when he was a hero together with a group of strangers that felt like family. They make falling asleep easier at night, just like they did back then, but the panic and the helplessness that he feels every morning are no longer worth it. (or the one with the reincarnation where Lance is the only one who remembers but doesn't let it get in the way of him finally having a normal life with his old family) Words: 5,582 Chapters: 1/?

True Love or Something (series) by: DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee Words: 84,347 Works: 20 Complete: No

The Volton Chat Fic No One Asked For by: fleep Summary: dont hunk with my heart: did u really photoshop ur face over a man in a chicken costume running from the police keith is fine: thats pidge hunk pidge is the police dont hunk with my heart: howd u make that so fast lancemememachine: ive had this saved up for an occasion like this Nobody asked for this Words: 15,039 Chapters: 13/?

legendary meme defenders by: Kitsune300 Summary: getting bi: gbfyhed guys Im dead getting bi:  you might as well plan my funeral space dad: hello dead, I’m dad getting bi: SHRIO STFU smol and ready to brawl: lance that is no way to speak to your father Words: 34,441 Chapters: 25/?

Power-kick by: Johnny_kun Summary: “I am so sorry, you just fell so hard for me and I feel bad about it now.” Lance had to admit that his pick-up lines were getting better.

“Did you kick the ball?! Purposely at me?” The black haired man asked, voice laced with annoyance as he got up, ignoring Lance’s offered hand for help.

“It was an accident, really. I was showing my children how to do a power-kick.” Lance’s flirty smile didn’t change the unimpressed expression on the stranger’s face.

“You should show them how to apologize now.” Words: 42,994 Chapters: 16/?

Spaghettification and Other Extreme Sports by: SociopathicAngel Summary: During their final battle with Zarkon and the Galra Empire, Zarkon creates a black hole capable of destroying the universe. Lance sacrifices himself and Blue in order to stop it... and ends up in an alternate universe where everything is just a bit not right Words: 17,978 Chapters: 4/4

The Quiet  by: MilkTeaMiku Summary: Does he not realise he's dead?

Keith can see ghosts. As a part of his Garrison training, he's sent to a hospital to do one year of medical clerkship - it's there that he meets a charmingly irritating ghost who definitely needs to learn what boundaries are. Words: 34,500 Chapters: 17/?

Foreign Scenes by: bwyn Summary: Lance has been dreaming of travelling since the first time he heard stories from his family as a child. Now, having finally the time and money to do it, he goes on a trip to Europe to see some of the most culturally rich cities on the continent. Except he keeps bumping into the same guy over and over again, in random cities, doing stupid shit, and ultimately dragging Lance into his trouble, too.

Basically an AU in which Lance and Keith become impromptu travel buddies and get into trouble.  Words: 51,334 Chapters: 7/12

If Fireflies Cast Shadows  by: Sasaina_Ai Summary:  You'd think finding your soulmate would be difficult, since there's only one of them and over seven trillion people in the world. Thankfully, God decided to take pity on his creations, and gave each person the very first words their soulmate would say to them. It was always in their personalized handwriting and the color that best describe them, decorating the wrist of your dominant hand. And, if you touch it after you meet them, you can send them your emotions, even thoughts if your connection is strong enough.     

And that's all fine and dandy - except it isn't.

Because Lance McClain, the fun-loving guy with groan-inducing puns and pick-up lines that never work, who's six-foot one with a good attitude and a hundred friends, has the words "Don't fucking touch me, asshole" scribbled in messy red letters on his left wrist. Words: 50,378 Chapters: 3/?

Botched Ink by: Syremia Summary: "Your soulmate is that who shares the same symbol on their skin as yours." Was all Lance had been teached since a young age. He was the only one in his large group of friends to not have a symbol of his own. Just as he thought he was gonna live alone until he met Keith in a bar. The problem was that Keith already had a symbol of his own. (Warning: Various mentions of heavy drinking ahead) Words: 14,977 Chapters: 4/?

Kiss My Ice  by: delictor Summary: Lance hasn't skated in a year since the accident that cost him the Olympics. Keith can't skate for shit but that doesn't stop him from catching Lance's attention, even when he can't so much as stand up after falling on the ice.  'When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.'“Soon as we're off this ice you're dead.” Keith's threat is an empty one and he knows Lance can tell by the way he laughs at it. “Serious question though, do you not know who I am?” Lance questions. “Should I?” “No, I guess not.” Lance shrugs. “I'm gonna twirl you, okay?” “No, no don't—wait!” Keith cries out as he's suddenly viewing the entire arena and his legs go rigid before colliding into Lance's chest, his chest rising and falling with laughter, hands gripping Keith's upper arms gently. “Put me back on land.” “Technically, we are on land.” “We're on frozen water, get me off it.” Words: 40,250 Chapters: 6/10

Entangled by: mackerelmademedoit Summary: When Keith found himself mentally linked to Lance of all people, he never thought that it would end in anything but irritation and misery on both sides. He certainly never imagined that it would be a useful asset in team Voltron's fight against the Galra Empire. Now if he can just keep his feelings in check, they might actually have a chance at defeating Zarkon.Needless to say, when he'd wished for a 'bonding moment' with Lance, this wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind.(Eventual romance and mature content for later chapters). Words: 80,975 Chapters: 11/12

Crossroads by: manamune Summary: When Keith crashed his Lion into a Galra warship in order to stop it from destroying a solar system, and more importantly, his friends, he was fully prepared to die for it.What he didn’t prepare for was to wake up in an alternate universe where he and Lance were dating. Words: 106,833 Chapters: 25/25

Of booty shorts and Injuries by: Queerswimming Summary: Keith is sure that he’s having a heart attack. Or that he hurt his brain when he fell earlier. Because it’s simply not possible that the boy who’s sitting next to him is not a hallucination. How could someone so gorgeous just sit in an emergency room at night?"Keith and Lance unexpectantly meet at the emergency room in the middle of the night. Words: 19,220 Chapters: 3/?

Loving Him Was Red  by: Resamille Summary: Loving him was red, just like the suit Lance now wears in Keith’s absence. Words: 4,135 Chapters: 1/1

Stowaway by: glubsauce Summary: When Lance finds a handsome stranger hiding in the backseat of his Jeep on the way to Pidge's birthday party, he can't help but wonder what his story is. Luckily for him, after he drops him off at his destination, he quickly gets revisited.

Lance is a bi college student who lets Keith, a dfab genderfluid 21 year-old, stay at his apartment after Keith runs away from home. Words: 27,109 Chapters: 9/?

you never stood a chance by: kagshina Summary: lance to hunk ♡ >i’m gonna fukin die hunk oh mygod i sent >keith a work out selfie that i wan supposed to fcukin send to you and you know what it said >”BET YOU WANNA LICK THESE NIPS” >HUNK I WILL NEVE BE ABLE TO FCE HIM AGAIN I WANT TO DI E(Or, Keith is beautiful, Lance has a crush, and there's lots of shirtless selfies) Words: 12,221 Chapters: 1/1

little numbers by: ashtxns Summary: brolance: keith is officially CANCELLED Words: 22,202 Chapters: 23/?

Better than coffee by peralta Summary: When Lance tries to curb his coffee addiction by replacing it with boba, he can’t help but linger around a perpetually grumpy-looking employee who works at the nearby teahouse. Keith, despite all the Yelp reviews, turns out to be surprisingly kind. Lance starts coming every day—although he insists it’s only for the boba.

And to complain about the customer service, of course. Words: 14,805 Chapters: 3/?

nothing's quite as sweet by dimpleforyourthoughts, thebrotherswinchester Summary: Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street. Words: 50,370 Chapters: 1/1

Infection by: Talinor Summary: "Citizens are advised to stay inside at all costs until the infection is under control," Nyma's voice was slightly stronger when she spoke up again. "And if you come across a possibly infected individual, do not- I repeat, do  not-  come into contact with them. This infection is reported to be highly contagious. If you see someone you believe is infected, stay away and report them immediately. Officers will come to take them to the nearest vacant hospital as soon as they can. Please try to remain calm, and lock your doors." Words: 20,615 Chapters: 5/?

Six Feet Over by: freshia Summary: "And, right, of course. He hadn't told Pidge—or Hunk, actually, who was sitting on the other side of the table from him—because somehow “I see dead people” just doesn't quite have the same effect that it surely had before 1999. Go figure."

Lance Sanchez sees ghosts. Lance Sanchez also tries his best to avoid ghosts, until he literally can't, because his new apartment is inhabited by one very confused ghost named Keith. Words: 47,313 Chapters: 13/?

Sweet Tooth by: Huletty Summary: Lance took a breath and walked forward through the swinging door. He kept his mind focused on one task. Get those damn pastries. Don’t look at anything but the pastries, don’t touch anything but the pastries, don’t speak to anything but the pastries. Don’t even glance at the kid with the mullet, who was currently putting frosting on a new batch of cookies, pink tongue slightly sticking out of his mouth in concentration. 'What I would do to have that tongue on my- The pastries!' Lance jerked his vision away and back to the cart full of stacked trays.

Otherwise known as the Bakery/Cafe/Pastry Shop AU this fandom needs but probably not the one it deserves. Words: 11,175 Chapters: 5/?

Team Voltron: a group chat by: Castielwinchestar Summary: This is absolute trash with a kinda-sorta plot it's so much fun and I'm basically writing my interpretation of the entire Voltron Team on crack so please read this I promise you won't be disappointed <3 Words: 21,602 Chapters: 20/?

Skinny band nerd takes it up the ass from the beefcake football captain (series) by: Lynn1998 Words: 42,730 Works: 6 Complete: No

To the Universe and Back with You by: manamune Summary: Lance and Keith were friends with benefits slash tentative boyfriends when the Galra empire fell. And just when their real relationship was starting to begin, Keith took off without a word, leaving Lance with a broken heart and a whole lot of resentment.

Fast forward seven years later and Lance is the only paladin living on Earth, with his cat Peaches for company. It’s not perfect, but he’s happy.

That is, until Shiro summons them to form Voltron again and Lance has to face his greatest fear: the past. Words:10,100 Chapters: 1/3

Nightmares by: Trashness Summary: Lance's nightmares are getting out of control. It's effecting his and the team's performance, but he's at a loss for how to fix this.

Apparently sleeping next to a warm body helps. Words: 14,864 Chapters: 1/1