#oh my GOSH
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I love making meme edits so much
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OH-GOSH! No...
That parallel?! Take her pain and give it to me!!!!!!!!
#caitvi#i cant believe it#let her be happy#arcane#vi#vi arcane#arcane vi#netflix geeked#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#league of legends#vi league of legends#caitlyn league of legends#arcane league of legends#animation#vi x caitlyn#caitlyn x vi#she needs her#oh my gosh#the parallels#give her pain to me
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#oh my god#talented#amazing show#wonderful woman#beautiful women#wow art#cool art#cool girl#super show#super woman#funny videos#unbelievable#aesthetic#great show#oh wow#oh my gosh#oh god#oh well#oh wowww#woman#showgirls#funny#funny art#art#it's unbelievable#like#wow#cool#cool stuff#cool spot
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AMAMADKSLMABR
lemme try this again
Hey Tumblr! I'm writing a book. It's 102k words (and counting) of pure queer fantasy and a year's worth of emotions.
It's about a queer kid finding community and support, and then stepping up to defend the people they love. And it's about falling in love and finding yourself, and it's about trust, and connection, and responsibility, and trying to do good in the world. It is also about gay.
Blurb thing:
Destiny has always been alone, self-isolating so that no one will find out about her magic, the same power that she watched a little girl dragged away for nine years ago. Then she meets Vida, a beautiful fae whose kiss sparks something inside her, and Destiny chooses to follow her.
She's not expecting Vida's family to be a werewolf pack. Or that they'll be so welcoming— she was told werewolves are monsters, after all. She's definitely not expecting them to become her own family.
But when Destiny begins to change, it's the wolves who accept him for who he is. And it's the wolves who are the first to see Destiny's magic and swear to protect them, no matter what. And it's up to Destiny to decide what that looks like.
Even if it means changing the world.
(yes the pronoun shifts in the almost-last paragraph were intentional)
And now a quote:
“Don’t you ever want to do something you’re not supposed to? Love the wrong way, be the wrong person, want the wrong things?”
If this sounds like your cup of tea, rb and let me know! I'm not sure when I'll start posting it, there's still a few edits I need to get done, but encouragement will definitely make that happen sooner~
#oh my gosh#the funniest part to me is:#i mostly remember the mom saying that being a werewolf isn't always without danger#which the non-werewolf interpreted as like 'being a werewolf is inherently dangerous'#but could also have meant like. other people's actions towards us may be dangerous#<- this is actually fairly accurate to my werewolf family? like that does sound like something Blythe would say#and werewolves are considered monsters by a lot of people which is why these ones pretend to be human most of the time#so uh#YEAH
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#NicolaQueenOfThePranks
#oh my gosh#nicola is such a queen for this prank#epic really#luke newton#bridgerton#polin#penelope x colin#colin x penelope#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#love#love this
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Timothée Chalamet, Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin behind the scenes of Dune: Part Two
Twitter credit to asatcdune
#timothee chalamet#oh my gosh#this is a lovely photo#dune part two#javier bardem#josh brolin#timothée chalamet#dune#dune part 2
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mike 🫶
I can't look at Mike nesmith for too long otherwise I get loopy
#mike nesmith#monkees#the monkees#woahhhh#cuties#just wow#oh my gosh#ily#too bad he's dead#oh well#i love you#im dizzy
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Jayson Tatum and Matthew Tkachuk reunited with childhood classmate Jacob B. to recreate their famous bus photo at the ballpark today!
St. Louis Cardinals via twitter X
#matthew tkachuk#jayson tatum#florida panthers#boston celtics#st louis cardinals#nhl#nba + nhl crossover#nba#oh my gosh#these nerds
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there are canon gay bridgerton siblings i repeat there are canon gay bridgerton siblings
#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#watching the benedict and paul scene and i was literally SHAKING#oh my gosh#shonda ily#francesca bridgerton#was the REAL WLW ALL ALONG#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton lb
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they have the kind of chemistry that makes you feel like you are the third wheel watching them.
Straight out of a Painting!
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I drew fish as people ! 🐠🐟
#art#artists on tumblr#artwork#cute#digital art#drawing#my artwrok#tumblr fyp#halloween#spooky season#fish#animals#cute animals#omg omg omg#pretty dress#reference drawing#drawing animals#thank you for liking!#oh my gosh#hello tumblr#i’m so hungry
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"This has been our history."
Caitriona + Sam behind-the-scenes of Outlander Season 8 production
#sam heughan#caitriona balfe#outlander#outlander bts#outlander season 8#jamie x claire#claire fraser#jamie fraser#oh my gosh#i'm just feeling all the things#MY BBYS#Gorgeous Goobers#Who are#Better Together#my edit
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Kamala cameo on SNL tonight!
That crowd gave her the welcome she deserves. WOW.
(x)
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I now want to write a boxer Jungwon fic. This is seriously immaculate
sure thing – part one.
pairing: yang jungwon x f reader
genre: coworkers au, underground boxer jungwon
part one word count: 12.9k
warnings: swearing, descriptions/depictions of physical violence, blood and minor injuries, jealousy, a bit of a love triangle I’m SORRY, blonde boxer jungwon because yes I think that does warrant a warning, I had to split this into 2 parts because post block limit got me everyone say BOOOOO TUMBLR!!!!!!
note: this is what happens when you watch the no doubt music video and then also listen to too much chase atlantic. ALSO let me duck before the sacred monsters readers start throwing tomatoes at me I PROMISE I am working on part 4 I just... had this idea and it would not leave me alone. but cheers to another fantastic enhypen release (daydream and no doubt are both on repeat for meeeeee) and to my first jungwon fic. enjoy!
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖
An employee in the marketing department of a large company, your days are filled with poorly worded emails, unrealistic deadlines, and passive aggressive friendly reminders from your superiors. On a particularly awful afternoon, a chance encounter with a coworker from the programming department down the hall is the first thing to make you smile in weeks.
But the more you uncover about Yang Jungwon and his mysterious injuries, flimsy excuses, and always occupied Friday nights, the more you begin to realize that you really don’t know him at all.
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖
The printer is jammed.
It takes a very exaggerated eye roll and an embarrassing amount of self control to refrain from kicking the damn thing. Besides, you’re pretty sure your previous wording was too kind.
Because a more accurate depiction of the situation would be:
The printer is jammed. Again.
You’re not sure which cruel deity is responsible for the creation of Monday afternoons, but you’re sure they’re laughing at you now. Dressed in business casual and praying against all odds that the clock hanging on the office wall will start ticking a little faster, you almost wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Spare you from your misery
And it’s not like a jammed printer is the end of the world. From a logical, unbiased point of view, you’re sure it’s nothing but a small, easily solvable problem.
But it’s four pm on a Monday afternoon and you’ve had back-to-back meetings since you clocked in at eight this morning. The only real break you had lasted twelve minutes. Most of which were spent dabbing coffee stains from your blouse after Terry from accounting knocked into you in the staff kitchen.
Your head is pounding and your feet are aching and your bladder is overly full and your left bra strap is starting to dig into your shoulder in a way that is entirely too overstimulating.
And you really, really just need this report to print.
After all, your boss made it very clear that you would not be clocking out for the day, no matter what hour of the evening it is, until said document is laid on his desk. Never mind the fact that you weren’t made aware of this demand until a handful of hours ago.
So yeah, the printer jamming – again – does kind of feel like the end of the world.
The screen is still flashing with an angry reminder to fix the paper jam in Tray 2. The instructions are starting to blur a little as you furiously blink away hot tears.
You won’t cry at work. You won’t.
But your exhaustion is catching up with you, and the first thing it usually takes with it is your control over your emotions.
The more you try to will them away, the more insistently they want to escape.
Bent over the printer, you’re in the middle of trying to dislodge a particularly stubborn piece of A4 when the first tear finally does escape. It falls in a thick, wet train down the length of your cheek, settling for a moment at the base of your chin before dripping, a little pathetically, right onto the stack of papers in the printer tray.
Your hands go slack on the sheet you’re warring with.
For a moment, all you can do is sigh. Hang your head and hope some higher power takes pity on you.
Stressed, burnt out, overworked. This was not how you thought you’d be spending your early twenties. But a salary is a salary, and fighting with an inanimate object on the worst day of the week keeps your lights on and your stomach full.
Hunched over, you’re suddenly glad that the printer is kept in a separate room outside of the main office space. That there are no witnesses to your slightly pathetic meltdown.
Save for a few, it’s not like you care all that much about what your coworkers think of you. But the last thing you need to add to this day is a fresh bout of humiliation.
Just one more minute, you tell yourself. One more minute of silence before you pull yourself together and finish dislodging the stupid piece of paper.
It must be at least 4:10 by now, which means you have less than an hour to go. You can do it. You can. You just need one more minute of silen–
“Everything okay?”
The sudden intrusion is so startling that your head jerks up in a subconscious reaction. Only, of course, to be met with the open printer tray you’re currently trying to troubleshoot.
The clunk that echoes through the tiny printer room as your temple comes in direct contact with hard plastic is almost as loud as it is painful.
“Ah,” you wince, hand instinctively flying to the side of your head.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, ____.” You’re not sure if your hesitation comes from embarrassment or the fact that you head is still spinning. Either way, you’re slow to move as you look up at your sudden audience.
Over your shoulder, Yang Jungwon has nothing but apologies written all over his delicate features. Brow pulling into a concerned frown, he’s quick to kneel to your level.
If anyone was going to find you like this, you suppose you’re glad it was him. A recent hire fresh out of university, Jungwon has carved out a quiet kind of reputation for himself in the office.
His presence isn’t commanding, but it is steady. The kind of person that you never see get worked up or angry or even annoyed no matter how many last minute deadlines are assigned or how many printers get jammed when he really needs to use them.
And from what you’ve gathered, he mostly keeps to himself. It’s not from a lack of effort on your coworkers’ behalf. You know firsthand that he’s been invited to multiple post work gatherings and weekend events.
His popularity doesn’t exactly surprise you. Even with his quiet demeanor, he has a striking presence. One that makes you curious, leaves you wanting to know more.
Never mind the fact that he’s absolutely gorgeous.
Still, despite their efforts, you also know that he’s politely declined each and every invitation without ever giving any real explanation.
In all honesty, you’ve always just assumed there was a girlfriend he was eager to run home to.
But even that is nothing more than a mindless assumption. After all, you’ve only had a few interactions with him, and nothing beyond the typical small talk all office workers develop a talent for.
Even now, he makes the simple button down and slacks he’s wearing look like they came right from a runway.
You’re not quite sure why, but it almost makes you want to cry harder.
At the very least, you’re pretty sure you don’t need to worry about rumors of you having a minor meltdown in the printer room spreading through the office. Jungwon might be a hot topic of office gossip, but he’s not one to spread it.
“I am so sorry,” he repeats, “I didn’t mean to startle you.” His words are spilling out a bit too fast, blurring into each other around the edges. “I just saw you in here, and I couldn’t tell if you were okay or not, so I wanted to–”
“Jungwon,” you interrupt. There’s no kind way of telling him that his rambling is only making your headache worse. That it’s only making your tears fall faster. Instead, you abet his misplaced guilt. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
A bit shakily, you muster up your most convincing smile. But your smudged mascara, slightly puffy eyelids, and still visible tear track suggest otherwise.
Jungwon’s brow just pulls together a little further. “Are you sure?” He’s unconvinced. Taking a wary glance at the printer tray, he looks back to you with concern in his eyes. “That sounded like it hurt.”
“Really,” you force another weak smile. “I’m sure.”
“Can I at least take a look at it?” Guilt is still written plain as day across his face.
Assuming he’s referring to the printer, you nod before taking one big scooch to the side. Within the confines of this tiny room, it only puts you closer to him.
And it takes less than a second for you to realize your assumption was wrong. Because Jungwon doesn’t reach for that stupid piece of A4 still jammed inside Tray 2 or even the printer tray that just nearly concussed you.
No, instead, his long fingers trek a steady path towards your hand. The one that still rests against your temple. Gently, he pries it away, replacing it with his own careful touch.
You’re all but immobile as gentle fingers press lightly against the side of your face, adjusting it slightly. His fingers are cool, soothing as he turns your injury towards the overhead light.
Pliant in his hands, it’s all you can do to watch as his brow furrows in concentration, eyes scanning over your skin. Taking the skin of your bottom lip between your teeth, you pray he doesn’t notice the sudden heat in your cheeks.
From this angle, with this proximity, you can practically count his eyelashes. They’re long, you notice. Long and wispy where they frame his dark eyes.
“No broken skin,” he finally asserts. You can feel his breath against your skin. It takes nearly all your concentration to suppress the shiver that threatens to trace your spine. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if it bruises. There’s a bit of swelling, too. Keep an eye on it these next few days, and let me know if it doesn’t go down on its own.”
You’re not exactly sure if Jungwon – quiet, gentle Jungwon – would be the first person you’d go to for first aid advice, but you nod anyway.
And you’re not sure where it comes from, the sudden urge to cry again. But somewhere between the pain in your head and the soft probing of his fingers against your skin, emotions are starting to bubble beneath your stoic facade.
It’s subtle, barely perceivable, but you can feel your bottom lip beginning to quiver.
Much to your unending humiliation, you’re not the only one who notices.
You’re not sure how he does, but he does.
“Hey,” Jungwon tries. His hand is still on your face. His voice is impossibly soft, and it only makes you want to cry harder. You feel like a skittish kitten he’s trying to lure in from a rainstorm.
His lips part as if he’s going to continue. They fall shut again before he can.
Something in his brow softens. Concern is replaced with empathy.
Hand falling back to his side, he suddenly changes the subject. “You’re in the marketing department, right?”
Lips still trembling, you turn your eyes towards the floor before giving him a small nod.
From this angle, the only thing you see are his shoes. Standard leather work shoes, they’re slightly scuffed where they rest against the carpet.
They still look formal, of course. Nothing that would raise any eyebrows in a professional setting. And from far away, you’re sure they appear pristine.
But from this close, you can make out all sorts of rough edges. Little marks and dents and scuffs that serve as evidence of where he’s been.
“Why don’t you head home for the day,” Jungwon suggests gently from above you. “I’ll let your team and your supervisor know that you’re not feeling well.”
You take a deep breath, do your best to make sure your voice is steady before you respond. Shaking your head, you point out, “It’s almost the end of the day anyway–”
“Exactly,” Jungown nods, kind but firm. “There’s nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow.”
“Actually,” you grimace, trying not to let the truth inspire another round of tears. “I need the report I was trying to print. I have to turn it in before I leave today.”
There’s a beat of silence. You’re worried that Jungwon will keep offering you too much kindness, so you rush to fill it. “It’s fine, though. I think the paper jam is almost fixed, and I already sent the report to the printer, so I’m sure it will come through in a minute–”
“Perfect,” Jungwon interrupts again. “I’ll take it to your boss, then. Alan, right? I’ve spoken with him before. I’ll also let him know that you went home for the day.”
“Jungwon, you don’t have to–”
“I know.” At the interruption, your eyes snap back to him. There’s an intensity in his eyes when you match his gaze. Something so sincere that it’s hard to look away. Even though you know your eyes are still shiny with tears you wish you’d hidden better. Even if the stress and exhaustion and weariness are probably written plain as day across your features.
“I know,” he repeats. “I want to. Go home and get some rest, okay?”
It’s probably stupid, to agree so easily. But something in his eyes has you believing, even if just for a moment, that everything will be just fine if you do what he suggests. That all of your concerns and worries will work themselves out and you’ll be able to come into the office tomorrow feeling refreshed for once. For the first time in a long time.
So you nod. You let him help you up off the floor and don’t bother hiding your face as you wipe the last of your unshed tears from your eyelashes. It probably only smudges your mascara further, but you can’t find it in yourself to care about that, either.
The printer is still jammed and your report isn’t turned in and you’ll have to walk past your entire team back to your desk to get your things on your way out.
But for this fleeting moment, those worries feel small. Distant. Manageable. Able to be tucked away and saved for later.
You still don’t know much about Jungwon. The only knowledge you have comes from speculation and wishful thinking. But now, more than ever, you really wish you knew something of substance.
But you have no idea how to tell him that. Don’t know if you even should. So instead, you say what you can.
“Thank you, Jungwon.”
For a moment, all he does is smile. It’s small, but it reaches his eyes. Makes them sparkle a little brighter.
His voice, like the rest of him, is gentle when he says, “Sure thing, ___.”
…..
Despite the fact that it accounts for roughly eighty percent of your job, you prefer to avoid your email inbox like the plague.
Most days, by the time you do get around to checking it, it’s already jam packed with unreasonable requests and last-minute changes and passive aggressive friendly reminders from your superiors.
When you sit down at your desk on Tuesday morning, you’re extra reluctant. After the printer fiasco yesterday, you’re feeling particularly sensitive to all of the potential bullshit. And you have the distinct feeling that a rather nasty message about leaving the office early unannounced is surely waiting for you.
But the inevitable can only be delayed so long. With a wince and a final swig of coffee, you muster the courage to give the mail icon on your desktop a double click.
The top of your inbox is filled with the usual nonsense. A request for a meeting tomorrow morning on a project idea you’ve had finalized for months. An RSVP form for the optional, but highly encouraged, upcoming staff party. A reminder from your boss that final quarterly reports need to be submitted by Friday at the latest.
A few lines down, though, something out of the ordinary catches your eye. Checking the time stamp, you see that it was sent right as the day started.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Printer Issue Follow-Up
Contemplating for a moment, you frown. The first floor of Vesselsoft is no stranger to printer jams. They’re typical occurrences, not major problems to be resolved via email. You didn’t think there was a printer issue to follow up on.
But it’s far more intriguing than anything else on your work account. So, ignoring all of the other messages, you open the email from Jungwon.
Good morning ____,
I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to let you know that the workroom printer jam has been fixed, and your report was delivered safe and sound yesterday evening. I also wanted to check in and see how your head is feeling.
Best,
Jungwon
You reread it. Once. Twice.
It’s a simple message, all things considered. But it has you searching for subtext where there likely isn’t any. If anything, this serves as a confirmation of what you already knew about Jungwon.
He’s kind. Considerate. The type of person that would help you fix a jammed printer and check in on you the next morning. Right when he clocks in.
The type that could probably tell that your head was the least of your concerns yesterday, but still chooses to ask how you’re doing without drawing excess attention to it.
For a moment, you almost wish he would make a habit of attending after hours work events. You have the distinct feeling that sucking up to your superiors would be a little less awful if someone like him was around to do it with you.
From: You
Subject: Re: Printer Issue Follow-Up
Good morning Jungwon,
Thank you for resolving that printer issue! And thank you for checking in. My head is feeling much better today.
Thanks again,
____
After a final once over, you press the send button, watching as the animation shows the message flying out from your inbox.
You imagine it flying into his. It’s subconscious, the way you start to picture what his face will look like when he sees it.
You know he’s in the programming department, which is on the same floor as your office. Honestly, you’re a bit surprised you haven't seen him around more.
Will he smile, you wonder. Will he have that same, gentle fondness in his eyes he seems to carry with him everywhere?
You don’t get an answer to that particular question, but you do learn that Jungwon is an incredibly prompt communicator.
It’s barely been ten minutes before your inbox is chiming again.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Printer Issue Follow-Up
Sure thing, ___. Glad to hear it.
Jungwon
You can’t hide the small smile that threatens to turn the corners of your lips upward. It’s not like he’s done anything particularly groundbreaking. But even bits of kindness have become a bit of a rarity for you these days.
You can’t think of anyone else in the office that would insist on sending you home thirty minutes early and offer to finish up your work for you. You can’t think of anyone else who would have navigated yesterday’s fiasco with as much gentle care as he did.
You can’t remember the last time someone bothered to consider you. To lighten your load when they noticed you starting to sink under the weight of it.
So you’re smiling. Despite the fact that it’s still a Tuesday morning and you have a long week ahead of you. Despite the fact that you’re still very much locked into a job you mostly despise.
Mentally, you make a note to give some gesture of your gratitude. To do something that will brighten his day a bit, too.
But you don’t know him. Don’t know how he takes his coffee or if he has a favorite brand of ballpoint pen or if he could use an extra favor from someone in the marketing department. All the sorts of things that coworkers do to show a little bit of appreciation.
But the universe, at least in part, seems to be on your side today.
When you head into the staff kitchen for your mid-morning coffee refill, you find it already occupied.
It’s a bit ridiculous, the way you suddenly feel flustered. Have the urge to smooth your hair, fix your blouse.
He has his back turned to you, and it takes you nearly half a minute of contemplation to decide whether or not to say something. In the end, the decision is made for you.
Your phone lights up with an urgent request that you check over the second half of the report you – well, Jungwon – submitted last night.
Sighing, you turn away from the kitchen. Your second cup of coffee, and a conversation with a certain programmer, will just have to wait.
You do, however, notice one last thing before you go. Watching silently, you can’t help but smile a bit as you watch Jungwon add two sugar packets to his mug.
Sweet, you think. Just like him. And now you have at least one bit of information to work with.
After submitting the edits on your report, you decide to use your recently earned knowledge. Deciding that he’s worth the splurge, you open the delivery page of the cafe down the street, the one that’s ridiculously overpriced but undoubtedly makes the best coffee in the area.
And when you order it in his name, a hot coffee with two sugars, you ask the barista to attach a note.
Thank you again for yesterday. I hope this is how you like your coffee!
An hour later, your inbox chimes with another message.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Thank You
You’re too kind, ____. Thank you for the coffee. How did you know just how I like it?
All the best,
Jungwon
If his words make you smile a little too hard, well, you figure no one ever has to know.
The universe, however, would seem to have other plans.
Of everyone in the marketing department, you find your coworker Grace to be the most bearable. A few years older than you, she was by far the most welcoming when you joined the team.
And you have the sneaking suspicion she has just as much disdain for your supervisor as you, even if the two of you have never openly discussed it.
Unfortunately, she does have the fatal flaw of never being able to finish her work day without getting herself involved in someone else’s business. For the most part, you’re spared from her nosiness.
Mostly because your life doesn’t carry the same flair for drama that she loves most. But today, she decides to give it a shot anyway.
Standing behind your office chair, she nearly startles you out of your seat when she asks, “Who’s got you smiling like that?”
Closing the email as quickly as you can, you turn to face her.
“No one.” It’s too rushed, too evasive. She sees right through it.
“Mhmm.”
Heat rising in your cheeks, you double down. “No, really.” Scrambling for a lie, your eyes land on one of your desk photos. One that shows your childhood cat, affectionately named Mr. Snuggles by your elementary school self. “I just heard from the vet that my cat is feeling a lot better. I was worried she was really sick.”
It’s a bold faced lie. Mr. Snuggles has been dead since your third year of high school.
“Ah,” Grace says. Her features fall slightly as she realizes she won’t be getting a worthy scoop from you. Realizing that’s probably not an appropriate reaction, she forces a smile. “That’s great! I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks,” you nod, hoping it will mark the end of the conversation.
But Grace isn’t quite ready to let it go. “That does remind me, though. I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
Uh oh.
“You’re not seeing anyone, right?” You’re not sure how a sick cat would remind her of your dating life, but you suppose there are larger mysteries to be solved.
And on second consideration – oh. Is it really that obvious? “No,” the syllable drags as you attempt to tread carefully. “Why?”
Grace shrugs, but the conversation feels more calculated than nonchalant. “I was at my friend’s baby shower a couple of weeks ago, and her younger brother just moved back to the city. He’s been living abroad since high school. He’s around your age and a total catch. I didn’t talk to him much, but he reminded me of you a bit. I think the two of you would get on.”
“Oh,” is all you say. Your uncertainty must be written all over your features, because Grace is quick to continue.
“No pressure, of course. But let me know if you’d like me to pass his number along.”
Do you? It’s been ages since you went on a date. And even longer since you went on a date with someone you’d describe as a total catch.
And apparently, your single-ness is painfully visible to the people around you if Grace was able to pick up on it so easily.
Besides, it might be nice, you think. To have a conversation with someone that isn’t about quarterly reports or upcoming deadlines or jammed printers.
But then your mind wanders to the last conversation you had about a jammed printer. To a set of pretty, dark eyes and a pair of gentle hands.
To a string of email conversations that don’t really mean anything. But you almost wish they did.
It’s messy, you think. Far from ideal. JUngwon might not be in your department, but he still works just down the hall. Inter company relationships aren’t forbidden, but they do carry a certain amount of risk.
Jungwon isn’t petty. He wouldn’t make your life a living hell if things were to end badly. But you might start feeling awkward in the staff kitchen and you might have to start timing your walks to the parking lot so that they don’t coincide with his.
Small adjustments. Minor inconveniences more than anything.
Besides, it’s all conjecture.
You can count the conversations you’ve had with Jungwon on your fingers, and the majority have been channeled through your work email.
It’s hardly romantic.
But even as you try to see things from a detached, logical perspective, one thought keeps swimming back to you.
You think you could talk about jammed printers forever, as long as it was with him.
Sighing, your heart can’t decide if it wants to sink to your stomach or crawl up your throat at the realization.
Turning back to Grace, you just offer her a tight smile. “I’ll let you know.”
…..
In the coming weeks, your coincidental run-ins with Jungwon start to become more and more frequent.
First, it’s the two of you just so happening to need a coffee refill at the same time. When your path cross in the staff kitchen, you raise an eyebrow at the sugar packets he adds to his mug and he shakes his head as you take a long sip of your plain, bitter drink of choice.
Then, it’s the morning in the parking lot when the two of you just so happen to arrive at the same time, pulling into adjacent parking spots. His smile is gentle, albeit a bit sleepy, when he bids you, “Good morning.”
Your heart flutters a bit when you return the sentiment. You do your best to ignore it.
Next, you stumble across him in the staircase on an otherwise quiet afternoon. This time, however, he’s already deep in another conversation. Or, you realize at second glance, trying very hard to wiggle his way out of another conversation.
For all intents and purposes, Jenna from the legal department is a sweet girl. A bit overbearing at times and doesn’t always take well to being told no, but she’s harmless for the most part. Smart and driven and you admit a little glumly, quite pretty.
Even underneath the overhead fluorescents in the stairway, she manages to avoid looking washed out.
They’re already talking by the time you get there, and the only thing you catch is the tail end of their rather one-sided conversation.
“It’s a great place, really,” Jenna insists, smiling a little too brightly. “And the food is to die for. They’re always running really unique specials. I think you’d really like it.”
And you could just turn around and pretend not to have seen anything. You could just take the elevator instead. In fact, you probably should.
But suddenly, it’s as if your shoes have been filled with lead. Feet frozen to the earth, all you can do is watch.
“Oh,” Jungwon reaches for the back of his neck. “Thanks for thinking of me, Jenna, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”
“Oh, really?” she pouts. “Is there another night that would work bett–”
“Jungwon!” Your voice is too loud, reverberating off the walls of the stairway in a way that has two pairs of eyes immediately darting towards you. And interrupting had seemed like a good idea a few seconds ago, but now you realize your fatal mistake.
You have no plan. No idea what to say next.
Still, you force a smile. “Just the person I was looking for.”
You don’t think you’re imagining it, the immediate wash of relief that colors Jungwon’s features.
“Hey, ___,” Jenna waves, a bit dejectedly. She doesn’t exactly look pleased to see you, and you can’t really blame her. “Could you give us a minute? I was just in the middle of–”
“Sorry, Jenna,” you shake your head. “This is kind of urgent.”
“Right,” Jungwon nods, looking at you again. “We’d better go then.”
“But I–”
“See you around, Jenna.” You’re tone is too bright as you spin around, making a beeline back towards the door. A flicker of satisfaction warms in your chest when you realize Jungwon is right on your heels.
He waits until the two of you are back in the empty hallway, closed door serving as a barrier between you and Jenna, before he speaks.
Looking at you, he quirks his head to the side. “So, what’s the urgent thing you need help with?”
Oh. Right.
Sighing, you decide honesty, or at least partial honesty, might be your best bet.
“Sorry,” your smile is sheepish, “did I read that wrong? There’s nothing urgent. I just…” you trail off, searching for the words. “It just looked like you might have needed an exit.”
For a moment, he says nothing. The silence gives your mind too much room to spin
Maybe you did read things wrong. Maybe he was enjoying a perfectly pleasant conversation with perfectly pleasant Jenna. Maybe he was looking forward to going to a nice restaurant with her and trying all sorts of unique specials and–
“Thank you.”
“What?”
Jungwon’s eyes soften. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost describe his expression as… fondness. “An exit,” he clarifies. “I did need one. So thank you.”
“Right.” Your voice is suddenly breathless, and you can’t think of a good excuse for it. Feigning a nonchalance you don’t feel, you wave off his gratitude, “Anytime.”
“Careful,” Jungwon warns, but the same hint of teasing, the same glimmer of affection, is still there. “I just might take you up on that.”
“It’s a good thing I meant it, then.”
Jungwon’s features soften into a smile. A small one, meant just for the two of you. Reaching up, he pushes a stray strand of hair from his eyes.
It’s only natural that you follow the movement. His hands are nice, you think. Long, lithe fingers, and–
You frown, eyes zeroing in on the knuckles of his right hand.
Bruises, you realize. Dark, purple bruises span the length of his knuckles. Angry and mottled and from what you can tell, recent.
And so many. You can’t imagine what he could have possibly done to earn them.
Gaze still trained on the injury, your eyes widen. “Are you okay?”
It’s Jungwon’s turn to be confused. “What?”
“Your hand,” you nod at it. “Are those bruises?”
“Oh.” He shrugs, brushes it off like it’s nothing. But his hand falls to his side, obscured from your sight, all the same. “Yeah, I just slipped the other day trying to hang a picture in my apartment. The frame caught me funny when it fell.”
“You… slipped.”
Your disbelief must be apparent, because Jungwon is quick to add, “My hand slipped, really. My phone started ringing, and it caught me off guard.”
“Ouch,” you grimace. “That sounds like it hurt.”
Again, Jungwon shrugs. But his eyes are doing that thing again. Sparkling. “It’s not so bad.”
“Still,” you insist. “You should be more careful.”
“Yeah,” Jungwon agrees. It’s just the two of you, alone in a dimly lit hallway. His gaze is trained on yours. The distance between you is respectable, appropriate. Suggests that the two of you are coworkers and nothing more. But you have the distinct feeling that he’s not entirely talking about hanging pictures when he says, “I probably should.”
…..
The next morning, Grace is the first person you see as you walk into the office. And she’s already waiting for you. As soon as you come in, she hands you a coffee with an apologetic smile.
“Uh oh.” You hang your coat, accepting the cup from her hands. It’s not unusual to receive coffee from a coworker, but it usually comes as a form of consolation. “What’s this for?”
“It’s from Alan, actually.”
Your lips flatten. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“It’s not that bad, really.” Grace’s smile is less than convincing. “He just wants us all to get together this Friday night after work at that bar down the street. Y’know, to network.”
You groan internally. There go your plans for a relaxing Friday at home.
“How is it networking if it’s just our team? We see each other every day.”
“That’s the other part,” Grace nods towards the cup in your hand. “Didn’t you notice he pulled out all the stops? That’s from the shop down the road. The one that charges eleven dollars for a small latte.”
“Oh god,” you groan, this time audibly. “What else does he want?”
“We’ve all been strongly encouraged to invite people from different teams around the company.”
You suppress a strong urge to roll your eyes. “Of course we have.”
Privately, you think that if Alan wants to network so bad, he should be responsible for creating the guest list himself. Outwardly, you just sigh.
As if you didn’t have enough on your plate already. Now you need to schmooze some other poor employee into wasting their Friday night talking about work.
Sitting down at your desk, you take a sip of your coffee. It is admittedly delicious. The thought only makes you want to bang your head on your keyboard even more.
The problem of finding a plus one follows you all the way through the afternoon. All the way to the workroom, where you once again stumble into a certain blonde programmer that’s beginning to feel like part of your daily routine.
This time, Jungwon is alone.
He’s frowning at the printer, brow furrowed.
“Don’t tell me it’s jammed.”
When he sees that it’s you, his features immediately soften. He smiles and something tugs at your heart. It’s enough to have you forgetting about Friday night, even if just for a moment.
“No, thankfully. My computer just doesn’t seem to want to connect to this printer.”
“Mm,” you hum. “Send it to me, and I’ll try printing from mine.”
Jungwon shakes his head. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll just go up to the accounting department and try their printer.”
“Jungwon,” you level him with a look. “You are the last person to be telling me I don’t have to do you a favor. It’s really no problem. Just send it over.”
“Okay,” he finally relents.
Waiting for it to ping through on your end, an idea suddenly strikes you. You’re not sure if it’s a good one or if your judgment is starting to be warped by all of the toner cartridge fumes, but here, in a quiet workroom with nothing but Jungwon and a half-working printer to keep you company, you find a bit of your bravery.
“I know this probably isn’t your idea of a perfect evening,” you start. Your words feel too loud in this tiny space. “But the marketing team is getting together after work for drinks this Friday night. We’re also encouraged to branch outside of our department and invite other company employees, so if you’re free, we’d love to have you.” The more you say, the worse it sounds to your own ears. Why would anyone, much less Jungwon, want to come to a work event for the marketing team. Suddenly embarrassed you even brought it up, you find yourself rambling. “The bar is actually pretty nice. It’s not super fancy or anything, but it has, uh, really great chandeliers. It’s a nice ambience, and–”
“___.” Jungwon interrupts with the sound of your name.
“Yeah?” You’re trying not to sound too hopeful, but you have the distinct feeling that you fail miserably. Despite your hesitance, you realize something.
You want him to say yes.
You want him to give you a different response than he gives everyone else. A different response than he gave Jenna.
You want him to say yes, even though no one wants to go to a work event for the marketing team on a Friday night.
You want him to say yes anyway, because it’s you.
“I’d love to, really.” He reaches up, scratching at the back of his neck. “But I’m busy Friday night.”
Short. Succinct. To the point. He doesn’t spare any extra details.
You already knew it was a long shot. But it stings all the same.
You wanted to be the exception to the rule. Someone that would finally get him to say yes. Or at the very least, someone he would bother to give an actual reason for his absence to.
“Oh.” Your voice is smaller than you mean for it to be. “Of course!” And now it’s too loud, too bright. You can’t find the happy medium, can’t find your natural tone. “I’m sure whatever it is will be way more fun, anyway.”
Jungwon just gives you a small smile, not bothering to affirm or refute your assumption. Not deigning to add any more details.
It kind of makes you wish that the ground would open up and swallow you whole.
“Well, I should probably get back to my desk.” You don’t know why you’re scrambling for excuses. Jungwon clearly doesn’t feel the need to provide any. “Did everything print okay?” You nod towards the small stack of papers in his hands.
Jungwon is still looking at you. His lips part, as if he wants to say something. Brow creased, it’s as if he’s at war with himself. As if he can’t decide what to say or how to say it.
After a beat, his mouth falls shut again. He gives a minute shake of his head. You watch as his hair sways in time with the movement.
“Yeah,” he tells you. But he still hasn’t bothered to look down at the document between his fingers. “Everything printed fine.”
“Okay.” You nod again. “Good.” Your voice sounds hollow in your ears. “Well, I’ll see you around, then.”
I’ll see you around?
I’ll see you around?
It takes all of your willpower not to cringe outwardly. It’s the most awkward, stilted thing you could have possibly said, but you’re not sure how else to fill the stifling silence.
“Of course,” Jungwon nods. “Have a good day, ____.” The worst part is that he looks like he genuinely means it. “And enjoy your Friday night.”
“Right.” Your smile is feeble, doesn’t reach your eyes. “You too.”
You’re so caught up in your own humiliation that you don’t notice the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes either. “Sure thing.”
…..
Changing your clothes in the last stall of the office bathroom kind of feels like a new low for you. But by the time Friday evening comes around, the last thing you want to do is attend a mandatory – scratch that, highly encouraged – work event at a bar still wearing your blazer and slacks.
The jeans and sweater you replace them with are still nice by any standard, but they’ll feel a bit less stifling after a handful of drinks.
Grace, at least, seems to have the same idea. Deciding she’s by far the most bearable person of the evening, you slide down next to her in the booth.
Of course, that thought only makes you think of another person you’d invited. Someone whose absence feels especially notable as you nurse the remnants of your first cocktail.
You don’t really want to get drunk tonight. You don’t want to be here at all.
You put in your forty hours of work this week, and the only place you want to be is at home in a pair of sweatpants.
The only person that would have made it a little more worth it made it very clear that he had better things to do. The details of which, of course, he didn’t bother to share.
The thought spurs you to take another long sip.
You don’t want to get drunk. But you don’t want to think about him either.
Besides, Grace doesn’t seem to share your reservations.
It’s barely been forty minutes when she pulls out her phone, thoroughly tipsy, and decides that you are the best person to help her sort through her list of matches on her favorite dating app.
“He’s cute, right?” She flashes her phone screen towards you.
He is. You nod and tell her as much.
His eyes might not sparkle very much. And his hair might not fall perfectly over his forehead. And he might not furrow his eyebrow in concentration whenever the printer in the workroom gives him a hard time –
No.
Tonight is not about him. He made it very clear that he had no interest in being here tonight, and the last thing you’re going to do is spend the evening fixated on him.
Grace, at least, seems willing to help on that front.
“Oh,” she suddenly interjects from your side. “That reminds me. I’ve been meaning to show you a picture of my friend’s brother. You know, the one I mentioned a couple of weeks ago?”
It’s a bad idea, probably. You’re still feeling slighted and bitter and no matter how many times you tell it not to, your mind keeps wandering to Jungwon.
Despite your reluctance, the cocktails are catching up with you. There’s a pleasant, slightly numb haze in your mind. It makes resistance feel futile.
All you do is nod, and Grace starts searching for his social media profile. It takes her a few more tries than it would sober, but she does eventually find it.
“Here,” she says, offering her phone to you. “His name is Jay. He grew up here until he left to go to an international high school. He’s been living abroad ever since, but he recently moved back. Their dad is pretty high up at a software development company. I think he came back because he landed a job there too.”
You do your best to absorb the information, to nod along with what she says, but in all honesty, you’re quite distracted.
Jay is quite distracting. His feed is well-curated without being overbearing. Covered in travel photos, unbelievably flattering candid shots, and stunning nature pictures, he immediately piques your interest.
Not to mention the fact that he’s stunning. Maybe not quite as stunning as –
No. Again, you refuse to go there.
You’re not sure if it’s the drinks or the photos or the spite that makes it suddenly feel like a good idea, but you’re telling Grace to pass your number along to Jay before you can think better of it.
And if nothing else, at least he doesn’t seem like the kind of person that will make you wonder. Or even wait for long.
You’ve barely gotten home, mind mostly clear even if it is still a bit muddled from the exhaustion of a long week, when your phone screen lights up with a notification.
It’s just a string of numbers for now, but you’re quick to create a new contact.
Hey, the message reads. This is Jay. Grace gave me your number. I hope that’s alright!
A few seconds later, another text comes through.
Jay: How do you feel about art exhibitions? There’s one opening this weekend right next to one of the best coffee spots in the city. I’d love for you to join me.
It’s simple. Straightforward. Not something you’ll search for subtext or pick apart for weeks.
And it’s easy to respond to.
You: That sounds great! I’ll look forward to it
…..
Another week at work passes with the same monotonous, sluggish flow as any other. But this time, it’s interspersed with messages you’ve started to look forward to.
You’ve just sat down with your third cup of coffee on Monday morning when the first one chimes through.
Jay: Good morning, ___. I hope your Monday is off to a better start than mine.
A second message comes through. This one is an image. One that unmistakably shows a stack of papers covered in a dark brown stain you recognize all too well.
You: Oh no!
Pausing for a moment, your teeth worry at your bottom lip. Deciding to go for it, you send your own picture in return.
The image of your full coffee cup goes through, along with another message.
You: I think it might be. My coffee is still in my cup, at least
It takes him less than a minute to respond.
Jay: Black coffee! Oh, you mean business. I’ll deny it if you tell anyone, but I always have to add sugar and cream to mine.
You can’t help the smile that starts to spread over your lips. Sugar and cream. An aversion to bitterness. It reminds you of someone else that always adds a little sweetness to their –
Shaking your head, you force the comparison away. Putting the other man firmly out of mind, you decide to return Jay’s lighthearted message with one of your own.
You: Don’t tell anyone, but this is my third cup of the morning.
Jay: Third cup of straight black coffee. Whew, remind me not to get on your bad side today.
Jay: Speaking of which, do you always drink it black or could you be persuaded into something a little sweeter?
He’s talking about coffee, yes, but it feels just a little bit like flirting. Biting at your lip again, you decide there isn’t much to lose.
Besides, it’s kind of… fun. You can’t remember the last time you were well and truly flirted with.
You: Depends who’s asking
Jay: Hmm
Jay: I’ll have to work on my persuasion skills then
Jay: The place I’m taking you to on Saturday has an insanely delicious caramel latte, and I need to know what you think of it
You: Tempting
You: But I’m not sure I’m convinced
Jay: I’ll work on that, then
You can’t hide your smile this time.
A minute later, two more texts ping through.
Jay: Duty calls, unfortunately
Jay: The rest of my Monday is stacked, so if I am slow to respond to any messages, that’s why. Enjoy the rest of your day, ___
He’s straightforward. Communicative. You appreciate the notice. The fact that if you do send another message without a response, you won’t have to waste your day wondering why.
You: Ugh, don’t you hate it when you actually have to work at work?
You: I hope all goes well! Enjoy the rest of your day too, Jay
Setting your phone down, you return your gaze to your computer screen and unfortunately very full inbox.
Your focus, however, remains half-occupied by a message thread sitting dormant on your tucked away phone.
…..
Jay’s messages begin to become a highlight of your work day. Despite the fact that there’s often a large lapse in time due to both of your busy schedules, you start to anticipate every text he manages to send.
And they only serve to build more excitement around your upcoming date.
By the time Thursday comes around, you’ve all but mentally clocked out for the week. Refilling your water bottle in the staff kitchen, your mind is so occupied that you almost run right into the person coming through the door the same time you’re leaving.
��Oh, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was–”
“___.” The sound of your name stops you in your tracks. “Breathe,” Jungwon is smiling, but there’s a hint of concern there, too. “You’re okay.”
“Jungwon,” you exhale. Your frantic apology begins to subside, replaced by an overwhelming surge of self-consciousness as you tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
You haven’t spoken to him, haven’t even seen him, since he rejected your invitation last Friday.
He’s not trying to pick at old wounds, but it still stings a bit when he asks, “How was Friday?”
“Oh, you know,” you shrug, “It was a typical work gathering.” Then again, it occurs to you that he might not know. Since he never bothers attending any of them.
Not that it really matters. Besides, you’re lying a bit anyway. Typical work gatherings don’t usually end with you setting up a date. Not that you want Jungwon to know about that either.
You can't pinpoint exactly why, but the thought of him knowing doesn’t sit with you quite right. Besides, it’s not like he’s ever shown any interest in your personal life, anyway. He would find it weird, most likely. Annoying, if you were to divulge any details.
“Oh, well, I’m sorry again that I couldn’t come.” Just like that day in the workroom, he reaches back to scratch at his neck. You have the distinct sense that he’s the one who suddenly feels a bit awkward. “Friday nights are…” he trails off, “Friday nights are hard for me, usually. I’m always pretty free on Saturday mornings, thought, so if–”
“Don’t worry about it.” Oh god. Your intention certainly wasn’t to make him feel guilty for having a social life outside of the office. Suddenly worried that you read the situation all wrong, you’re quick to assure him, “You don’t have to come to anything that you don’t want to. And especially if you have plans already. I just asked you because my supervisor wanted us to invite people from other departments.”
If his face falls slightly, you’re too caught up in your own rambling to notice.
“And, you know,” you continue, “since you helped me that day with the printer.”
“The printer,” he echoes, voice suddenly hollow. “Right.”
“Right,” you echo. The room falls into silence again, and this time, it’s weighted with a horrible awkwardness neither of you can shake.
“Well,” you finally say, holding up your bottle. “I got my water, so I’m gonna head back to my desk.”
“Yeah,” Jungwon nods. “Okay.”
“I’ll see you around?” It’s just as stilted as it was before, but you’re desperate for any way to exit this conversation.
“Yeah,” Jungwon repeats. “Sure thing, ___.”
…..
By the time Saturday morning comes, you’re a mess of anticipation and frayed nerves.
You’re early to arrive at the address of the coffee shop Jay sent you a few nights ago, but he’s already there waiting for you. And his social media might have painted an impressive picture, but one look tells you that it still doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing.
Jay is gorgeous.
Almost as gorgeous as –
You kill the thought as soon as it comes. This day isn’t about him, and comparisons will do you little good.
Instead, you refocus on your date.
He’s polished and put together in an effortless sort of way. The kind of person that you see once in passing and then can’t stop thinking about for the rest of the week. His features are angular, sharp. But they soften into a warm smile the second he lays eyes on you.
In the end, it doesn’t take him much convincing at all to persuade you to try the caramel latte. And he’s right. It is absolutely delicious.
It was easy to fall into a natural rhythm over text, and your face-to-face conversation flows even better.
He tells you about life abroad and all of his favorite parts of living in another country. He tells you about his family and what he missed most about this city he’s learning to call home again.
He listens, actively, while you tell him the more mundane details of your own life. His questions are well-timed and never feel like interruptions.
His kindness doesn’t feel like a facade. His interest doesn’t feel like a cheap trick to get what he wants from you and then disappear without a word.
And when it becomes painfully apparent at the art exhibition that he’s far more well-versed in the subject than you, he doesn’t make you feel stupid. Instead, he takes his time explaining each piece. Highlights the aspects that would be most interesting to someone without any kind of background in art.
He’s kind, considerate, and the day passes by in a blur of fleeting glances and shy smiles. At the end of it, he offers to drive you home and opens your car door for you. Small gestures that make you feel seen, considered. Valued.
When he says goodbye with a hug that doesn’t last nearly long enough, the smell of his cologne is something you hope will linger as long as the memories of the day do.
It’s easy, you think, as you watch his car drive away from your window. Jay is someone that’s easy to be around, to spend time with.
And when he messages you later that night, reiterating his enjoyment of the day and asking to meet again, he’s easy to say yes to.
…..
You’re not sure how, but the only person that seems even more excited than you about you and Jay is Grace.
Despite the fact that your communication as of late hasn’t involved anything scandalous, she feels the need to rehash every detail until she’s heard it one hundred times.
It doesn’t matter how many times you tell her that the last text message he sent you wasn’t anything to swoon over. In fact, it was rather short and unexciting.
Jay: Have you seen my ring by chance? I remember wearing it that day I was in your car, and I haven’t been able to find it since then.
But Grace won’t hear it. You’re not exactly sure what she heard from Jay’s sister, but she spends the rest of the coming week hounding you over the details regardless.
The staff kitchen is hardly the place for conversations about your personal life, but the setting doesn’t seem to bother her at all. Instead, she pretends to be busy washing an already clean coffee mug while she asks again, “So you went out for the first time last Saturday, right?”
“Mhm,” you nod.
“And then you got dinner together Wednesday night after work?”
“Yep.” You’re pretty sure she’s already asked the same question at least six times.
“And he’s planning to take you out again this Saturday?”
“Right.”
“My god, you two are practically married.” She punctuates the absurd claim with a wistful sigh.
“We most certainly are not.”
“Okay, but you literally just met, and you’ve already seen each other twice with plans for a third.”
She does have a point there. Never mind the fact that you haven’t dated anyone in a while. It is a quick timeline, no matter how you look at it. But you’ve been itching to spend time with him ever since your first date, and Jay seems to be on the same page.
It feels fast, yes, but it doesn’t feel forced. For you, that’s what matters most.
That, along with the fact that a certain someone has been noticeably absent from your mind the more time you spend with him. For now, you’ll choose not to read too much into that.
“God,” Grace sighs again. “I miss going on dates.”
“What are you talking about? Didn’t you go on one a couple weeks ago?” You distinctly remember helping her set it up that night at the bar after work.
“Well, yeah, but I mean good dates. You know, getting properly wined and dined and all that. I guess I’ll just have to live vicariously through you.”
“We went to dinner once, and there was hardly any wine involved.”
She rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. All I’m saying is you’re lucky to be seeing someone that actually puts in effort for your dates and doesn’t just take you to the closest bar to his office and hope that buying you a handful of drinks means he’ll get lucky.” Pausing for a moment, she looks up, eyes landing somewhere just over your shoulder. “Right, Jungwon?”
Immediately, it’s as if you’ve been submerged in ice cold water. Because there’s no way she said–
“Jungwon?” Turning around, you’re put face to face with the last person you wanted to overhear this particular conversation.
“Hey, ___.” There’s a smile on his lips. Small as always, but something feels wrong about it. “Grace,” he nods at the girl over your shoulder. “Sorry,” he’s still looking at her, “were you asking me something?”
“No, we were just leaving, actua–”
Grace pays you no attention. “Just telling ___ how lucky she is that her man actually puts effort into their dates, since it feels like such a rarity these days.”
“He is not my man.” The glare you send your coworker is lost as Jungwon turns back to you, eyes wide, gaze indecipherable.
“You’re dating someone?”
“I…” The easy, most available answer is yes, but you’re having a hard time getting it out. And there are other semantics involved.
Are you dating? Not really. That usually indicates some kind of commitment, exclusivity. Going on dates might be a better way to put it. But clarifying that miniscule distinction for Jungwon feels strange for some reason.
“My friend’s brother,” Grace supplies unhelpfully from the corner. “What can I say? I’m a natural born matchmaker.” Her proud smile is lost on the both of you. You’re only looking at each other.
“Oh.” Jungwon’s voice is small, hollow. “That’s nice. I’m happy for you.”
You want to scream, just a little bit. Or maybe cry. You can’t make up your mind.
And you’re not sure where it comes from, the sudden, overwhelming surge of guilt that begins to build in your gut. You can’t even decipher who it’s directed towards. Towards Jungwon? Towards Jay? Towards yourself?
Grace, despite her self-proclaimed talent for setting up dates, is apparently incredibly inept at reading the room. With no prompting but her own, she’s pushing forward. “He lived abroad for a while and just moved back to the city, which is like, the perfect scenario for going on dates. And he’s always had a flair for romance. I remember–”
“Well,” you interrupt, desperate for an out, “we better get back to the project we were working on—“
“What project?” Grace, it would seem, is determined to be anything but helpful.
“You know,” you glare at her, “our project.”
“Right!” She looks sheepish, finally catching the hint. “That project.”
Turning back to Jungwon, you can still see the rigidity of his features. The tension that has yet to ease. “I’ll…” you’re not sure how to part ways now without making things worse. But it feels wrong to just leave without saying anything. For the third time in the span of days, you tell him, “I’ll see you around.”
And for the third time, he agrees, “Yeah.” This time, however, his eyes still flickering with annoyance, shoulders still set with residual frustration. “Sure thing, ___.”
It’s what he always says, you realize. But this time, it’s missing that easygoing, genuine lightness he usually says it with.
This time, it sounds like rejection.
Yours or his, you’re not entirely sure.
…..
You manage to avoid Jungwon for the rest of the week. It’s ironic, almost. You were so worried about pursuing a potential relationship with him because you wanted to avoid this exact scenario.
Now, a handful of dates with someone who is very much not him tucked under your belt, you still feel the need to turn and walk the other direction whenever you think you hear his voice or get a glimpse of blonde hair.
But the office is only so big, and there are only so many corners to duck into. Barely a week has passed the next time you unwittingly bump into him.
“Oh,” you startle slightly, walking into the workroom and already finding it occupied. And of course you’d run into him here, of all places. Kneeling in front of the printer, his brow is furrowed in concentration as he tries to dislodge yet another paper jam.
“Sorry.” You’re not sure what you’re apologizing for exactly, but it feels warranted regardless. “I’ll just leave, and—”
“___,” he cuts you off with the sound of your name. Looking down at him, you're met with the expanse of his back. A button down shirt tucked into dark pants. Standard work attire that has no business looking this ridiculously good on anyone. “You’re fine. You don’t need to leave. Just give me a second, and the printer’s all yours.”
You nod, even though he can’t see you. If the lack of a verbal response bothers him, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he busies himself with the jammed printer, muscles of his back flexing slightly underneath the fabric of his shirt as he tugs at the stubborn papers.
Cheeks heating slightly, you force your gaze elsewhere.
“There,” he says after another minute of adjustments. Standing to full height, he turns to face you. “All fixed.”
Looking up at him, you’re about to offer a quiet thanks when your eyes land on his right cheekbone. Specifically, the fresh cut that spans the length of it.
The gasp the spills from your lips is entirely without permission. But you can’t quite help it. The wound is quite superficial, surface level at most, but it mars his otherwise perfect skin in a way you weren’t prepared for.
Without your permission, your fingers start to reach towards the injury. They make it halfway before you remember yourself, before you regain your sense of reality. Your hand falls limply back to your side.
“What happened?” You breathe.
Jungwon’s brows draw together in confusion for a moment before a flicker of realization dances across his features.
“Oh.” He exhales, fingers tapping against the broken skin of his cheekbone lightly. “Nothing. I just, er, fell the other day.”
“You fell,” you echo. Like all of his other excuses, it’s vague. Flimsy at best.
“Yeah,” he confirms with a slight nod. Again, he says, “I fell.”
It’s evasive. And it feels like more than just an explanation for his injury.
It feels like confirmation of the distance between the two of you. His final assertion that you’re nothing but a coworker to him. Someone that he tells edited versions of stories to, someone that he keeps firmly planted an arm’s length away.
Fine. If he wants to give you shitty excuses for his Friday nights and his absences at work events and now his injury that very obviously did not come from a fall, that’s just fine with you.
After all, he’s nothing but a coworker to you either. The upcoming date you have planned with Jay is enough to prove it.
“Well,” you tell him, forcing a smile. The fake, disproportionately bright kind that you only ever use with your coworkers. “I hope it heals quickly.”
And then you’re brushing past him, making your way towards the printer as if he’s nothing but an obstacle in your path.
Collecting your freshly printed document, you turn and walk out the door without so much as a backward glance.
…..
Sliding into the passenger seat of Jay’s car Thursday evening, you feel the stress melting from your shoulders the second the door shuts behind you.
This is something else he makes easy: forgetting about whatever woes you managed to acquire after a long day of work. Jay just smiles as you sit down next to him, turning down the volume on the radio as he asks about your day.
Tonight, the two of you are headed to one of your favorite diners. Somewhere where you can chat and laugh and relax over a pile of french fries and obnoxiously gaudy decor.
But before you turn down the street that leads to the restaurant, Jay asks if the two of you can make a quick stop.
“I left my bag at the gym last night,” he explains apologetically. “Do you mind if I swing by and grab it real quick? It’s on our way.”
You reassure him that it’s no problem, and a handful of minutes later, the two of you are parked outside of a rather nondescript, faded building.
Frowning slightly, your eyebrow quirks up in surprise. Although he hasn’t outright disclosed anything, from what you’ve gathered so far, Jay’s family is quite well off. The kind that pays for expensive memberships at bougie gyms with saunas and swimming pools. Not the kind that frequents dark, run down gyms in the middle of a random residential area.
Pulling his key from the ignition, Jay turns to you. “You can wait here, if you want.”
“That’s okay.” You’re already unbuckling your seatbelt. “I’m tired of sitting, anyway.” You really are. Plus, you have to admit that you’re kind of curious.
You fall into step at his side as the two of you make your way towards the building. The closer you get, the more decrepit it appears. Paint is peeling from the exterior, leaving it an odd, mottled brown color riddled with rust marks.
Even the sign, Kang’s Gym, is small, faded, and only visible once you’re nearly to the entrance.
Jay steps in front of you, holding the door open for you to enter.
The inside, you realize as you step in, is in no better shape than the outside. The wall closest to you is lined with weightlifting equipment that looks as if it were pulled from past decades.
Padding is torn in places, and questionable stains cover the place, accumulated from years of use.
You’re about to ask him outright why on earth he patronizes such a run down place when your eyes land on the far wall of the gym. There, you think you find your answer.
There’s no weightlifting equipment or cardio machines. Instead, the majority of available space is filled with several sets of boxing rings. Like the rest of the gym, they’re equally faded and worn with years of use.
But the lighting in that part of the gym is noticeably better. Far brighter, more intentional. As if the rest of the gym is just for show and that is the true purpose of this building.
You’re suddenly overcome with the urge to take a second glance at your date.
He has a lean, athletic build, yes. The kind that you assumed came from some kind of regular exercise regiment and not his office job.
But boxing wasn’t exactly what you expected.
Jay turns to you. His expression gives nothing away, holds no indication that this is anything out of the ordinary for him. “I think I left it over by the locker rooms.”
Encasing your hand in his, he leads you towards the rings. Several of them are occupied, mostly by one-on-one sparring matches.
Walking past the first one, the two men inside the ring turn to look at you and Jay as you pass.
“Hey, man,” the first one offers with a nod of recognition that Jay returns. As his eyes slide over to you, they widen slightly in surprise. Gaze falling to your intertwined hands, the man just shakes his head slightly before returning to his sparring partner.
Moving past them, you shake the odd interaction from your mind.
You spare fleeting glances for the rest of the people you pass. For a moment, you try to imagine Jay in the ring instead of them. It’s an odd contradiction with what you’ve come to associate with him.
Easygoing. Considerate. Even tempered. They’re traits that feel at odds with the kind of stark physicality required in a boxing ring.
Then again, the more you consider it, the more you start to make sense of it. Jay is all of those things, yes, but there’s also an undercurrent of something else.
A quiet intensity he carries with him. Something he has control over. Something he can channel when needed.
The more you think about it, the easier it is to picture him in the ring, throwing precise, calculated punches until victory rests on his square shoulders.
You’d be lying if you said the mental image didn’t pique your interest. You’re about to ask him if he’ll let you watch next time he’s in the ring when a flash of color in the last boxing ring, the one closest to the locker rooms, catches your attention.
It’s unlikely. It feels impossible. Even more so than the thought of Jay in a boxing ring. But as you draw closer, you confirm your suspicions.
After all, you would know that shade of blonde anywhere.
It takes everything in you not to stop dead in your tracks. But even as you continue forward, hand still encased in Jay’s, your eyes are trained solely on the space between Jungwon’s broad shoulders.
It’s almost inhuman, the feline agility that he moves with. He’s smaller than his opponent, but he’s faster. Lighter on his feet.
The punches he throws are dizzyingly accurate, and his sparring partner seems to think the same. A muted thud is followed by a string of expletives that become more clear the closer you get.
“Jesus, Jungwon.” The man across from him is still a bit breathless as he recovers from having the wind knocked out of him. “Bad week at work or something?”
“C’mon, Heeseung.” It doesn’t sound anything like the Jungwon you know. Gone is the quiet friendliness you’ve always heard from him. His voice is still gentle, but it carries an unmistakable command. “Stop going easy.”
“I’m not,” the other man – Heeseung – argues. “What has gotten into you? It’s like you’ve been insane since that match last week.”
“Whatever,” Jungwon scoffs, shaking his head. “Let’s just take five.”
“Make it ten,” Heeseung goads across from him.
Jungwon sends him a warning glare, but says nothing. Instead, he reaches for his water bottle at the corner of the ring, leaning against the ropes that enclose it.
All you can do is watch, suddenly fascinated by the way sweat darkens his hair, trails down the length of his neck. Jungwon gives a quick shake of his head, sending his hair scattering over his forehead as he leans further into the ropes behind him.
Tipping his head back, his throat works against a swallow as he takes a long drink from his water bottle.
Jungwon sets his water bottle down, turning towards Heeseung like he’s about to say something else when movement catches his attention.
More specifically, your movement. His eyes fall on you, and for a moment, you’re rendered just as immobile as him. His gaze widens in recognition and then suddenly, he’s standing.
Long strides eat up the length of the boxing ring as he crosses it, every step bringing him closer to you. With a distinct sort of grace and practiced ease, he jumps over the side of the ring, landing on his feet just as you and Jay pass him.
With a hand on your shoulder, he stops you both in your tracks. His touch is gentle, but commanding. It leaves little room for argument.
“This is the guy you’ve been seeing?” Jungwon’s eyes are molten lava. If you thought that day in the staff kitchen was the most visible emotion he was capable of mustering, you were sorely mistaken. The Jungwon that stands in front of you now is simmering with it, vibrating with barely contained emotions.
At your side, Jay turns back. With your hand still enclosed in his, Jay’s gaze goes straight towards Jungwon’s hand on your shoulder.
“Jungwon,” he nods coolly.
Jungwon ignores him entirely. His gaze is still trained directly on you.
Glancing between the both of them, the tension between them is palpable. Over Jungwon’s shoulder, you can see Heeseung leaning against the edge of the boxing ring as if he can’t decide whether to intervene or not.
“Well,” you say, attempting to diffuse a bit of the rising animosity, “I guess I don’t need to introduce the two of you, then.”
This time, it’s you that Jungwon ignores. Turning to Jay, he’s all venom. “And you brought her here? What the hell are you doing?”
“Relax, man.” Jay rolls his eyes. “We’re just grabbing my bag.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you left here,” he bites. “You know better than to–”
Shaking his hand off your shoulder, annoyance makes itself visible across your features. It’s one thing for Jungwon to be pissy towards your date, but it’s another entirely for him to assume that you can’t handle something as mundane as a boxing gym.
And if you're honest, the whole overprotective act just rubs you the wrong way. Why does he think he gets to ignore you all week at work and then act like he knows what’s in your best interest?
“I think I can handle watching people throw a few punches, Jungwon.” Your voice is all ice, and it changes his demeanor immediately. The anger begins to dissipate, leaving him with wide eyes that beg for your understanding.
The frustration is still there, though. “That’s not what I meant, ___.”
“I don’t really care what you meant.” You’re not sure if it’s true, but you want it to be. For now, that’s enough. “Why don’t you go back to your friend and pretend like you never saw me. You’re good at that, right?”
It’s a low blow. And it has his features falling immediately, eyebrows slackening as if you’ve slapped him.
His voice is notably gentler when he says your name. “___…”
This time, it’s Jay that speaks. “I suggest you listen to her, man. We’ll be out in a few minutes.”
Jungwon wants to say more. You can see it in the way his mouth twitches, in the way his shoulders still rise with tension. Finally, he relaxes. Just a fraction of an inch, but you know it’s over. At least for now.
He doesn’t say anything, but he does take a step back. And then another.
His eyes are still on you, even as Jay keeps walking, pulling you gently along with him.
By the time he finds his bag and the two of you make your way back out, Jungwon is nowhere to be found.
You can still feel eyes on you, though.
This time, it’s Heeseung’s gaze that follows you all the way out the door.
Back in Jay’s passenger seat, you turn towards your date, a million questions swimming in your mind.
“What on earth was that all about?”
Jay just frowns, knuckles white against the steering wheel. Instead of answering, he asks a question of his own. “How do you know him?”
“What?” Too confused to protest, you answer. “We work together.” Then you repeat, “What’s going on?”
Jay sighs, leans his head back against his seat. “He’s in marketing with you?”
“No,” you shake your head. “Programming. I don’t want to ask you again.” This time, you can’t help the expletive. “What the fuck was that?”
“We…” Jay trails off, searching for an explanation. “We know each other.”
“Yeah, no shit. How?”
“We went to the same middle school, before I left for high school. He was a year behind me.”
“And what?” You ask, trying to think of what kind of feud middle schoolers could possibly have that would warrant tonight’s interaction. “He stole your lunch money and you never got over it?”
“Not quite.” His lips are tight. “Look, ___. I know you can’t help who you work with, but Jungwon… he’s not who you think he is.”
“And you are?”
Jay turns to you, hurt clearly written across his features. “That’s not fair.”
“No,” you argue, doubling down. “What’s not fair is giving me vague half truths about my coworker and expecting me to just agree blindly while you evade all of my questions.” A moment of silence passes. Jay says nothing. Finally, you tell him, “If you’re not going to be honest with me, then I think you should just take me home.”
“Wait, ___–”
“I’m serious, Jay. I’m not about to go have dinner with you and pretend that this didn't just happen. Just take me home.” Softening a bit at the obvious distress on his face, you add a quiet, “Please.”
You won’t compromise your boundaries, but you don’t have it in you to be needlessly cruel, even if his evasiveness bothers you to no end.
Jay just sighs, pulling into an empty parking lot before turning around and heading in the opposite direction. Towards your apartment.
The rest of the car ride passes in stilted silence, neither of you willing to break it.
Jay is the first one to speak, but it’s not until you’re sliding out of his passenger seat, back turned towards him.
“Good night, ___.”
For a moment, you consider just ignoring him. But it feels petty, even for these circumstances. For now, you’ll just have to trust that he needs time to find a way to tell you the truth.
“Good night,” you tell him. But you still don’t look back.
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖
TO BE CONTINUED...
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖
note: I AM SO ANNOYEDDDDD this was all supposed to be one long fic, not two parts, but tumblr's post block limit got me. Honestly I don't know how I avoided it this long. Anyway the second part is written and will be posted soon. In the meantime, let me know what you're thinking so far! As always, thank you for reading ♡
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Bill Skarsgård and FKA twigs in ‘The Crow.’
In theaters June 7, 2024.
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