#oh lord what have I gotten myself into
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patchwork-crow-writes · 1 year ago
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So, Majora's Mask Randomizer is almost go! I've inputted my settings, generated a seed (which didn't crash the program, yay!), ran a quick playtest, and everything seems to be in working order. It'll be interesting to see just how crazy this can get :P
Before I begin, I'd like to quickly go over some things: this will be a largely glitchless playthrough. I'm familiar with all the speedrunning tricks and glitches such as Hidden Owl, Bomb Hovering, Grotto Wrong Warp and Weirdshot, but the settings I have enabled don't require the use of these tricks. The main goal of this playthrough is to experience the game in a new way without breaking its physics over my knee... that may come later, but not right now!
I have not shuffled music or added my own custom music. The music of the game is very special to me, and while it'd be cool to have any of the thousands of midi tracks created specifically for this randomizer program, I adore the classic soundtrack too much. This will not affect any of you, but I'm saying it because... I dunno, actually. Just one of them things :P
I'm also not going for 100% completion, I'm just gunning for the quest essential items and beelining it for the finish line. This may sound boring, but wait until you see the settings I've picked.
Speaking of which...
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All the items ticked on this list indicate which items are going to be shuffled. You'll see the standard settings, including Shop Items, the Base Item Pool, Stray Fairies and Skulltula Tokens. Then there's more unconventional settings, like Cow Milk (cows will give random items when you play Epona's song near them), Soft Soil (items that appear when bugs are put near soft soil are shuffled), and Mundane Rewards (the 50 rupee prizes for minigames, etc.).
Then there are what I like to call the absurd settings. Things like: Hidden Rupees (which are spots in the overworld where rupees will appear if you walk over/shoot them), Freestanding Rupees (which are rupees that are just chilling out in the world), Caught Bottle Contents (All bottle items are shuffled, so fish can be bugs, bugs can be spring water, and spring water can be Deku Princess), Crazy Starting Items (shuffles the starting sword, shield and two of your three heart containers, meaning you start with no weapons and one heart), and the ominous sounding "Everything Else", which... do I need to elaborate there? I don't think I do, lol :P
Additional settings I have elected to switch on:
Ice Trap Onslaught - all junk items are ice traps. Junk items include small rupees, ammo refills... stuff you wouldn't normally go out of your way to pick up. There are. A LOT of them.
Quad Damage - I take 4 times the damage from all damage sources. Including the aforementioned ice traps. And I start with one heart. (spoiler warning - I am going to die. A LOT.)
Shuffled Enemies - all enemies are shuffled. This can softlock the game in certain situations, so will be interesting to see how this affects my playthrough.
Random Shop and Minigame Prices - the prices for everything are randomised. A deku nut can cost anywhere from 10 rupees to 990 rupees. To compensate, there is a 999-rupee wallet that has been added to the game. Locating this will be a top priority.
Random floor types - floor can be any texture, including grass, sand and ice. Would have loved for lava to have been one of the options, for the culture... but it isn't. Sad.
Unique colours for each of Link's transformations. I won't spoil these here, but I have picked thematically appropriate hues for each form. Here's hoping they look good!!
So... yeah. This might all seem a bit crazy - and it is! - but I do have the spoiler log to hand, so if it comes down to it, I can peek at what I need to progress. Plus which, I'm really excited to discover all the secrets this game has to offer, and whether I'll learn anything new about interesting item interactions, or hidden rupees that I never knew existed. It's a journey of discovery! And ice traps. And hardship. But hey, nothing ventured, right?
So, uh, wish me luck I guess! XD
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lesbiansanemi · 7 months ago
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Was doing so good holding it together today but now that I’m laying down and trying to sleep I’m tearing up and I can feel that I’m about to burst into tears any second now
#my mom called me like ten minutes before I was off work today#and asked if I had talked to my grandpa lately and I was like yeah some why?#I’ve been showing what I’ve been cooking with him and my grandma because I was proud of myself#and she was like oh so you know about his potential surgery?#and I was like. his what???????#apparently his pace maker is dying and malfunctioning and he needs a new one#but this is the third time it’s had to be replaced and as he’s gotten older he’s had a lot more health issues#and they’re not even sure his heart can handle getting it replaced…. he has an appointment tomorrow to find that out#and no one told me. no one fucking told me it was that bad and I’m so#like man my feelings on my grandparents are so insanely complicated but I do love them#I love them so much and they practically raised me and loved me more and treated me better than my mother EVER did#they’re the only family members I’ve ever been legitimately terrified and upset over not accepting me cuz I’m queer#like my mom and siblings? I could not give a flying fuck if they hated me for my gender or sexuality#if my grandparents had a bad reaction I think I would fucking kill myself#and idk the point is I love him and I’ve barely seen him at all the past few years because we live far away now and I never visit because I#hate the rest of my family#but what if he can’t have this surgery?????#or what if he can but something goes wrong??????#what if he’s dying and I’m only able to go down and see him one more time#and he could be fine. it might all work out and he could be fine#but man I’m terrified that won’t happen because WHY WOULD NO ONE TELL ME ANY OF THIS#and yeah no I’m fully crying now I can’t do this#he taught me to draw and he built the house I grew up in and he got me into lord of the rings and would take me book shopping#and and and I’m gonna fucking throw up#kaz rambles
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crescentlyautumn · 1 year ago
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Me knowing damn good and well this fic I’m tackling is gonna be a long one.
Also me: What do you mean I’m at 2k+ already, and I haven’t even really gotten started yet?!
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bloomries · 9 months ago
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yeah so my husband— my husband?!
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includes : lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, and belphegor.
summary : calling him your "husband" (even though you two aren't married yet) to see his reaction.
warnings : gn! reader. mention of marriage. suggestive (in asmodeus'). the word 'husband' will begin to look strange bc it's used so much, apologies.
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LUCIFER
You just meant for it to be a harmless little prank, something to tease Lucifer with later when you two were alone, perhaps gauge his reaction to the idea, but after you said 'yeah, so my husband...' Diavolo's eyes grew as wide as the moon and you instantly regretted your prank idea.
Diavolo clasped a hand on Lucifer's shoulder, beaming. "You finally asked!" This statement went over your head as you tried to quickly take back your words, Lucifer's blanched face making it clear he'll definitely be scolding you later. "But it seems I missed the wedding? Oh well, I'll just host you another wedding so I can see it for myself!"
"Ah, L- Lord Diavolo..." Lucifer sends you a glare as you smile sheepishly. "We aren't- I haven't-"
"How do you both feel about a chocolate fountain?" Diavolo is already off in his own little world, imagining how he'll plan out your wedding. Lucifer decides he'll inform Barbatos of the prank, and have Barbatos deal with it- Lucifer already has his hands full with you. He pulls you aside as Diavolo talks to himself.
"Do you see what you've done?"
"Sorry..." You fake pout, batting your lashes up at him. "My darling husband will surely fix it though, right?" Oh, how can he stay mad when he truly likes the title so much. Perhaps this will make asking you to marry him easier? You surely seem to enjoy the title just as much.
MAMMON
Mammon is always trying to listen in on your phone calls, he's nosy and likes to know all the gossip. Today in particular though, he's trying extra hard to hear, clinging to you and making you unable to do other tasks whilst on your call.
Deciding to tease him a little, in hopes of getting him off of you, you sigh dramatically into the receiver. "I'm sorry, my husband needs my attention, one second."
And when you look down at him, his eyes are wide and shiny, a blush quickly forming on his cheeks. Him? Were you talking about him? He's your husband? A giant grin takes over his features and it seems your little prank has the opposite effect you wanted, as he takes the phone from you.
"Yeah, sorry, their husband- that's me!- needs 'em!" He boasts proudly before hanging up the call and clutching on to you tighter, burying his face into your side, his grin not changing in the slightest.
You sigh, running your fingers through his hair. "Rude, I was trying to talk to someone, you know." Mammon shrugs, not a care in the world.
"'m your husband, I take priority."
"You know you're not officially my husband yet, right?" Shit, you're right. Well, that'll change soon, don't you worry one bit! Mammon knows how to take a hint, and there'll be a ring on that finger soon enough!
LEVIATHAN
You and Levi were playing an online game, chat on full blast, when you decide to tease him- because it's just so fun to see his flustered expression, and you have an inkling that this'll give him some motivation for the game. "Ah, hubby, can you help me with these guys!"
"H- Hubby!?" Leviathan's neck nearly breaks from how quickly he snaps to look over at you, you seem unphased though by the phrase- as if it came so naturally. His heart skips a beat, his grip on the controller tightening. "W- Where are you, I'll come help!"
His gaming friends are all blowing up the chat box, some getting on voice chat just to ask what that meant- 'was Levi actually married?,' 'He was a husband?,' 'Since when!?,' 'Congratulations!,' etc.
Levi would have gotten more flustered, had he been paying any attention to said friends, but he's much more focused on proving he'd make an excellent spouse by rushing to where you were in the map and one-shotting all the enemies that surrounded you.
The battle is quickly won thanks to Levi, who puffs out his chest with pride. You lean over from your gaming station adjacent of his, and press a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, hubby~" His cheeks grow a rosy pink, and he pulls his headphones off to give you a serious look.
"Let's get married."
SATAN
"Oh husband~" You call, "Can you help me get this book? I can't reach!" Satan peaks his head from around the corner to give you a questioning look. Who were you calling husband? He watches you struggle, leaning his frame against the door with his arms crossed over his chest.
"I don't remember proposing." Satan watches as you deflates from his lack of reaction to your prank. He sighs, walking over to you and helping you reach the book, tapping it on your head lightly before handing it over to you.
"You're no fun, you know that?"
Satan has a feeling this was definitely set up by one of his brothers, and he'll definitely be getting his revenge on them for making you do this (and for making his heart hammer against his ribcage uncontrollably). Still, he hates to see you upset in the least, so he lifts your chin with his finger and thumb and sends you that smile that sends shivers down your spine.
"Don't be upset, you'll get to call me husband soon, okay?"
And he truly did mean that, he already had a ring, which sat heavy in his pocket. He just wanted to make sure you had the most perfect proposal, something straight out of a romance novel- because that's what you deserve. Soon, soon you'll be able to lovingly call him 'husband' whenever you wish.
ASMODEUS
Asmo is live-streaming again, doing a little grwm-type video, with you off to the side/in the background. As he begins to do his skin care, he asks for you to take over and chat for a little while for him, so you peak your head into view and wave at his viewers.
"Hello everyone!" You smile, glancing back at Asmo who's behind you in the bathroom, doing his skincare. "My lovely husband is doing his skincare right now, it usually takes him about ten to fifteen minutes to complete it." You say, however you can see his head pop-up from the sink and he whips around to look at you.
"Husband?" He calls, and when you nod, confirming your words, he grins. "Oh my, is this a proposal?" He asks with a teasing lilt, and you joking go along with his words, nodding before reenacting the famous getting-down-on-one-knee. You open your hands as if you had a ring box, presenting it to him. He holds his hand out to you, "I do~" You pretend to slip a ring on to his finger and he admires the imaginary ring before leaning down to kiss you.
"Now," He pulls away, wiggling his brows. "Shall we get started on the honeymoon part?"
"Asmo, that's typically after the weddi-" Asmo reaches for his phone, waving and saying a little 'byeeee' to his followers as he ends the livestream with a giggle, throwing you a lil' mischievous smile.
"No harm in starting earlier, right?" And despite only being halfway through his skincare, and this not being a real proposal, the honeymoon was very nice indeed- he can't wait for the real one though.
BEELZEBUB
You had seen the trend, and wondered how Beelzebub would react. So, under the guise of trying some new food and giving it a review, you set up your camera and begin filming. "Hey everyone, me and my husband are going to be rating food from the new McDevil menu~"
Beel doesn't react at all, and you send him a quick glance before trying again- perhaps he didn't hear you? "I think the Sin-Fries are a solid 7/10, what about you, husband?" But again, he doesn't react to the word at all, instead giving his own rating for the new fries.
Is he really not realizing what you're saying? You decide to try one last time. "My husbands food always looks better than mine," You whine, peaking over at him to see his reaction, only to see him offering you a bite of his burger. You sigh, giving up and deciding to just enjoy your food. You take a bite of his burger, offering him some of yours. The review ends swiftly, and you turn off the camera.
As you two clean up from eating, you notice Beelzebub quieter than usual. You're about to ask him if everything is okay, his face becoming flushed, when he speaks up.
"Soon, okay?" You blink a few times, confused by his words. He bashfully looks up at you, and that's when you realize what he's talking about- marriage, he plans on proposing to you soon. Your own cheeks now grow unbearably warm. "I promise."
Your prank definitely backfired, as now you're the one trying to calm your racing heart (although Beelzebub is definitely just as flustered). Still, you're holding him accountable to his promise- soon.
BELPHEGOR
You're not sure how this little prank managed to get turned against you, but Belphegor has made it so that you're now his personal pillow- again.
"I'm just saying, if I'm you're husband, then that means you should let me use you as a pillow whenever I want." You open your mouth to retaliate, but he beats you to it, batting his lashes up at you. "Don't you want your husband to be comfortable?"
"I..." You falter. You regret deciding to call him your 'husband~' to try and get him to help you with chores. You thought maybe it'd motivate him, or maybe you'd just get to see his cute blushing face, instead you're suffering.
"Come on now, don't be shy~" He wiggles about, trying to grab you to pull you towards him, but he doesn't really exert enough energy to be successful. "Ugh, why... do you... do this... to me- to your darling husband!"
"You're anything but darling." You say, crossing your arms over your chest. "Last time I call you 'husband' or any term of endearment, I swear..." You grumble, turning on your heels to leave, disappointed your prank didn't work.
Belphegor grins, snuggling up to his pillow as he watches you leave. "That's what you think," he mumbles to himself, yawning, "when I finally get that ring on your finger, I'll have ya calling me husband again, just you wait~" He snickers, and a cold chill runs down your spine. You glance back to see him asleep, although you feel as if he's planning something- and you weren't sticking around to find out what!
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greeniegaes · 3 months ago
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Thinking about Omega SQQ again sigh
Okay. So warning this is a male lactation AU so if you don’t like that don’t read, nothing explicit happens tho, just a guy and his pups
I imagine when he first goes into his body everything feels like he’s in haywire, constantly on edge and ready for a fight. Once he’s gotten the hang of things he uses his cultivation to try and simmer down his hormones.
Only to realize it was his cultivation preventing hormones that was making him feel like shit all the time.
So eventually he sighs and stops doing that. The first few days are bad, cramps and sickness and a general feeling of wanting to claw everyone’s eyes out. He gets through that though.
Then his breasts start to come in.
He knew PIDW has its weirder parts of omegaverse so he knew that this would happen. At first he starts binding his chest but that hurts SO SO SO much that he collapses on like the third day (he was also doing it improperly because it’s him, yk) and gets stuffed into Qian Cao
MQF: I was not aware shixiong was an omega
SQQ: I’ve only recently decided to stop holding myself back
MQF: it is recommended that you form a small pack of your disciples to help with your instincts and… that *waving at SQQs chest.*
SQQ: *screams internally.* Okay :)
At this point after like a week of just draining himself and going insane he finally gives up. LBH has already started living in the bamboo hut so he’s kinda the best option so he sits the boy down.
SQQ: Binghe, I hope you know this isn’t going to change anything but
LBH, thinking: oh my god no please don’t kick me out
SQQ: since this master has allowed his omega side back out he’s been struggling with his urges about thinking of his disciples like pups. If it’s not an offense to your character can I take some of it out on you
LBH, internally: YES YES YES PLEASE OH GOD YES I NEED IT
LBH, externally: If that would please shizun then sure :]
So they start a twice daily thing of in the morning and night LBH goes into SQQs room and his nest and gets feed. Apparently milk is hella good for the skin and shit because after a few weeks he starts to look flawless somehow.
And SQQ really wants to see his other kids- DISCIPLES flourish like that. He extends the offer to a close few and some look like they going to cry at the honor of their teacher wanting to take care of them.
LBH is still the main drinker and always wants to huff when he has to share, but he does it none the less. His Shizun gets really cute during feeding sessions, purring and chirping at them, fixing their hair and playing with it, scratching their scalp, the whole nine yards.
So LBH repays it by feeding SQQ more, which also makes him have more milk in turn. He huffs and complains at his body’s need to produce so much, his chest wayyy too heavy in the middle of the day to be comfortable, leaking and wasting everything.
He ignored that though, even if LBH and his other pups- disciples offer to help him.
Eventually after the Abyss his body is still making big amounts of milk because that’s what it was used to. Most of the time he just gets it out himself and pours it into the grass, often now also starting his other feedings.
Everything starts to get to him and he’s decided that staying on the mountain is no good. So he sneaks out, by himself, in search of something to heal his heart.
All the peak lords and disciples are going crazy, nobody can find him and nobody knows where he could’ve gone. Eventually while LQG is talking to a random villager out in a border town of their territory he sees SQQ again, arms filled with two pudgy babies and looking ever so pleased.
SQQ: Oh! Hi Shidi
SQQ internally: OH FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECT
LQG: where have you been???
SQQ: sorry sorry babies are hard work I didn’t want to travel alone with them
LQG, wanting to have an aneurysm but can’t: let me just help you home
On one hand the entire sect is so relieved that SQQ didn’t die of heartbreak over losing his favorite pup or get kidnapped. On the other hand SQQ??? Where’d you’d acquire those babies?? They aren’t yours, it’s only been 6 months!!
Anyways after SQQ is safely back in the sect he doesn’t see a point in leaving. I mean! Look! Look at his pups! So cute and round! One of them has little dimples!
The other peak lords carefully go to see what was going on, YQY opening the door to the bamboo house after being told to come in and all of them are just smacked with happy omega pheromones, SQQ gently cradling them both in his arms as he rocks in a chair.
At that point all of the peak lords decide that yk, maybe it doesn’t matter how the children were acquired. They were well feed and cared for and obviously SQQ was happy again.
(He got the children from a working in the WRP, she had wanted babies and all her sisters were supportive but then she realized she didn’t like being a parent but you also can’t morally just… dispose of a child. SQQ visited there once in his depression stoop and stayed for a few days after falling in love with the kiddos. Then he just went on an adventure with his babies and got distracted by the cool world building.)
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azrielsdove · 28 days ago
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All This Time: Rhys x Reader
Warnings: Short, Little Angst, Little Suggestive
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“Have you lost your mind?” Rhysand seethed, glaring at you. “Throwing yourself directly in the path of danger?”
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms and glaring back at him. “I didn’t throw myself into danger. I was trying to help.”
“Help? Help! What you did was not helpful in any way. You acted foolishly and rashly.”
“Well what you rather I done then? Let you be killed?”
“I would not have been killed.”
You scoffed. “Oh, really? From the way I saw it that dagger was seconds from implanting itself into your heart.”
His anger grew, darkness creeping in to the edges of the room. “I am a High Lord. A measly dagger would not end me.”
“Sure,” you agreed, shrugging your shoulders. “But a poisoned one might.”
A great silence encased the space, Rhys’ anger quieting down for a moment. “Poisoned?”
You nodded, holding out your arm and pulling up your sleeve. There lay the cut the dagger had left on your skin.
It was black.
And it was not healing.
Rhys stared at it for a long time before speaking again, voice deadly quiet. “When did you realize?”
“As soon as it happened. No normal cut burns the way this did.”
“And yet you chose to stay silent?”
“You were already angry enough.”
He looked ashamed, his dark anger dissipating. He moved over to you, taking your injured arm carefully in his hands. His fingers traced the wound delicately. He tensed at your small gasp of pain. “Has it gotten worse?”
You shook your head. “Not as far as I can tell. It hurts, but it hasn’t changed.”
He was quiet again, studying your skin as if he would find the cure written there.
“It’s fine, Rhys,” you reassured, trying to get him to look at you.
“It’s not,” he said slowly.
“What do you mean?”
He closed his eyes and you felt the low thrum of his power on your skin. You shifted in discomfort, nervous about what he was going to find. “Rhys,” you whispered as his magic began infiltrating the wound. A slow burning feeling was accompanying his search, getting worse every second he continued. “Rhys,” you said louder, beginning to panic at the pain. He continued what he was doing, as if couldn’t feel your struggle. “Rhys! Stop! Stop!” You cried, trying to pull your arm from him with all your strength. Tears were streaming down your face as you fought against the statue of a man, begging for him to let go.
He finally snapped out of it, dropping your arm in shock. You stumbled, brain fuzzy from the pain. Rhys caught you as you fell, moving the two of you carefully to the ground. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered over and over. “I’m so sorry.”
The burning your arm ceased and you were able to catch your breath, looking at Rhys with concern. “What was that?” You asked warily.
Still staring at the mark on your skin, he responded, “Dark magic. Ancient magic. I haven’t seen anything like this.”
You did not like the sound of that. “Well, did-were you able to, tell, anything?”
His eyes reconnected with yours, worry lining them. “No. As far as I could sense the magic was not any deeper than the skin.” He traced the black line mindlessly with his fingers. “It won’t heal from this, though. The scar will remain as is, until the end of time. Superficial, but ugly.”
“That does not matter to me.”
“And it shouldn’t.” He stood from the floor then, pulling you up with him. He let go of your arm, moving to put his hands on your waist. Your heart stuttered at his closeness, at his eyes looking intently at you. “Yet if you ever, ever, risk your life to save me again, I will lock you in your room.”
You scowled, pushing away from him. “Mother, remind me to not save his life next time.”
“You do not need to play the hero!”
“I wasn’t! I was acting on impulse.”
“Impulse of what? Getting yourself killed?”
“No, Rhys!” You screamed, throwing your hands up in exasperation. “To save you. To help you. Don’t you see? Everything I do is for you!”
He looked you over slowly. “Why?”
Mother, give you strength. “You idiot. I love you, Rhys. I always have. So no, I will never bow away from danger if it means losing you!” The room was silent again. You turned away from him, unable to look at his reaction to your profession. “Just go, okay?”
“No.”
You slowly moved to face him again, shocked when you found he had to moved to right in front of you. “No?” You asked.
“I won’t leave. If I leave, I won’t get to do this.”
You opened your mouth to ask what he meant, but your question was answered before you even spoke by the rough press of his lips against yours. You melted into him instantly, your arms twining around his neck as he held you close. You put all the years of unspoken secrets into the kiss, holding onto Rhys like he was the only light in the world. Everything felt right.
“How long?” He murmured against your lips, refusing to fully break away from you.
“Years. Decades. Centuries,” you whispered, kissing him between each word. “Ever since we met.”
“Since we met,” he repeated, his fingers flexing against your body. He pulled away then, cupping your face in one hand. His thumb ran across your swollen lips, his eyes flashing darkly. “I’ve wanted you for all this time. Needed you. I’ve felt called to you like the stars to night.” He kissed you again, lightning rolling up your spine. “You’re mine.” He began pressing kisses to your face, your jawline, your neck. Anywhere he could get he kissed you like he was starved of it.
“Rhys,” you moaned, digging your nails into his shoulders as he left marks of his teeth along your skin. You had waited forever to feel like this, to have him touch you in such a way. “Rhys, I love you.”
He looked back into your eyes, a small smile on his lips. “And I love you. Risk your life for mine again, and i’ll kill you.” He silenced your argument with his kiss, pulling you down to the bed with him.
Nothing else mattered.
***
this is just a short something, i really wanted to write an argument hahaha. i hope you enjoyed <3
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coolshadowtwins · 10 months ago
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PT1
PT2
PT4
“I think this has gone on long enough.” Wei Qingwei cut in, letting Shang Qinghua fall silent. The A Ding Peak lord looked grateful, taking big breaths to get his footing back.
“Oh, you can’t be embarrassed,” Qi Qingqi said, amused. “You barely had any secrets to begin with. Not like Mu-Shidi over there, with his… experiments.”
Mu Qingfang slid lower in his seat, face red and trying to hide in his collar. Shang Qinghua had blabbed about many things.
“How does he know all that?” A random peak lord, who had been put on blast for three minutes straight, said bitterly.
“A lot of spying.” The imposter said, amused. He was fanning himself, like he had just been watching a show. Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan, next to him, were no longer in this conversation. Instead they were whispering angering to each other. Well, Shen Jiu was whispering angrily. Yue Qingyuan wasn’t really matching his energy.
“And who are you then?” Qi Qingqi asked.
“Ah… the nice Shen Qingqiu that you’ve all gotten to know and love over the past few years?” He said awkwardly, and then laughed even more awkwardly when no one said anything to that. “My name is Shen Yuan. I just accidentally took Jiu-Ge over. I swear I didn’t mean to do it. But I am here now, and you are stuck with me.”
“Bold move bro.” Shang Qinghua muttered. Everyone ignored him.
“You can’t go home?” Liu Qingge asked, looking at him intently.
“I might have… died, to get here.” The imposter, Shen Yuan?, said hesitantly.
“You died?!” Mu Qingfang asked, alarmed. He sat up straight, previous embarrassment forgotten as he looked him over, as if to find hidden injuries. “How did you die?!”
“I was… poisoned?”
“Someone poisoned you?” Liu Qingge asked intently, suddenly looking like he was about to go fight whatever poisoned him.
“….no.” He said slowly. He reached for a fan, only to find that he had none. His fan was with Shen Jiu, as the rightful owner. See this, Liu Qingge slid a fan over to him, like the ever fateful Shidi he was! Now with his face covered, he continued, embarrassed. “I might have poisoned myself?”
“You killed yourself?” Shen Jiu, checking back into the conversation, asked. On anyone else, it might have sounded like alarm. Yue Qingyuan, and a lot of the peak lords, also looked alarmed, most likely thinking about his depressed mood that everyone claimed he had over the last two years. Shen Yusn shook his head quickly.
“No! Nothing like that! I just ate some bad food!”
Silence. Then-
“You died from food poisoning?” Mu Qingfang muttered in disbelief. “That explains a lot actually.”
“Mu-Shidi, what does that mean?!”
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gluion · 3 months ago
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wish you were sober — seok matthew
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seok matthew x reader, slight myung jaehyun x reader
wc — 6.9k genre & warnings — fluff, light angst, crack, friends to lovers, alcohol consumption, vomitting in one scene, kissing/making out, jealousy, zb1 friendgroup antics, HAOBIN AND GYUBRIK CANON SRY, boynextdoor and kiss of life cameo, reader has hair long enough to be tucked and held back playlist/inspired by — apt. by rosé & bruno mars // sober II by lorde // wish you were sober by conan gray // urs by niki // lovers rock by tv girl notes — wrote this mainly bc my life changed the moment matthew read my sign in the jebewon con, finished it the day matthew was @ the prada event. and in both instances, i've gotten significantly more ill, so here's this very self-indulgent, self-insert fic (where aspects are derived from my own experiences) <3 if you enjoyed reading, please do reblog and leave feedback! request to be part of the taglist! masterlist
synopsis — as far as matthew knows, you still liked another man. yet, your friendship with him takes a sudden turn over a drunken confession... or three.
(or in other words, the three times you confess to matthew under the influence but he never believes you—until you tell him sober.)
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the first time you confess to matthew happens on the night of hanbin’s graduation—no, not a confession of love but one of attraction.
if matthew has to be completely honest, he still doesn’t know what to make of your words. over the course of three years, he wouldn’t have suspected your interest in him. if anything, he’s under the impression you still like jaehyun. yet, everything shifts the moment he stumbles into the same bathroom as you.
“hanbin, have you found yourself a job?” gyuvin pops the long awaited question.
more than half of the group finds themselves in the kitchen. matthew knows that gunwook’s coming from soccer practice and yujin had to stay home for a doctor’s appointment the next day. as for you, he remembers seeing you with julie on the search for jaehyun and sungho.
the graduated fellow groans. “don’t remind me that i’m unemployed. this whole job search is going to kill me.” hao chuckles as hanbin rests his head on his shoulder.
gyuvin slings his arm around jiwoong’s shoulders. “oh, don’t worry! i’m sure this employed man can make something happen, right?” 
“me? you should be asking ricky!” all eyes land on the blond who sips away on a drink. “he’s the one with a family business. i’m barely making it in that goddamn nine to five that i’m still mixing shit for you college students.”
ricky elbows jiwoong’s side, causing the man to yelp. “you could be asking me for a job if you really hated the one you have now.”
“really? you could save me?” jiwoong almost gets on his knees until matthew holds him back.
“please don’t do that. not everyone knows you here.”
the man complies and puts his hands together. “ricky, please. i might just kill myself if i have to deal with another overtime. i mean, i can’t even remember the last time i properly hung out with you guys.”
“i don’t think anyone expects you to stick with us all the time. you have a job.” taerae’s point only brings him to a fit of laughter as jiwoong tickles him.
regardless of how loud taerae and jiwoong are, the rest of the group continues to discuss hanbin’s dilemma. “but yes, i could make something happen if you really want,” ricky offers.
“really? thank you!” hanbin hugs him. “it’s almost impossible to find a job. i don’t know why.”
“tell me about it. i can’t even get an internship. i’m already willing to settle for an unpaid one but no one seems to be accepting,” taerae complains as he leans against the wall. 
hao swishes around the alcohol in his cup. “that does make me wanna ask what the upcoming seniors are planning to do.” his eyes darted between taerae and matthew.
taerae grins. “the goal is to become a trophy wife.”
“of course it is.” gyuvin laughs before leaning against ricky. “i’m marked safe. i don’t know about you guys.”
jiwoong groans while taerae rolls his eyes at their public display of affection. “you don’t have to rub it in our faces.”
“yeah, whatever. what about you?” ricky looks at matthew. “are you still planning for medschool or is there another career crisis happening again?”
he shakes his head. “nah, i’m still pretty set on med school. next year is going to be hell for me.”
“ah, that means matthew is going to be the one providing for his partner! taerae, now’s your chance.” hanbin’s joke has everyone bursting into laughter.
taerae dramatically clears his throat, choking in between which only makes them wheeze. “matthew, can i be yours?”
matthew gets closer to his friend, his face only a few inches apart before saying, “not until you let me become yours.” at his double down, everyone starts to make gagging noises, including taerae who physically cringes.
“get a room!”
“damn, no kiss?” ricky’s joke in contrast to gyuvin’s complaint has jiwoong chuckling.
“yeah, you know what? fuck you, guys. i’m going to find someone at this damn party.” with that, taerae ventures off. jiwoong follows without another word.
gyuvin’s phone rings in his pocket. as he brings it out, he sees a message. “oh, gunwook’s already here! i’m gonna go grab him.” ricky trails behind his partner, leaving matthew with the other couple. 
hanbin looks around before asking, “hey, where is y/n?”
“last time i saw them, they were looking for myungjae and sungho.” matthew chugs down his drink before letting out a sigh.
“i wonder when they’ll finally grow a pair and ask him out, or just do something about it,” hao wonders out loud as he stares off into the crowd. “it’s almost painful to watch. i feel like i need to play cupid.”
“wait, why haven’t you been helping them out?”
hanbin’s question has matthew laughing in disbelief. “you think i haven’t? i’ve done almost everything to push them. i even told them all the signs that show he’s clearly interested, but y/n won’t budge. i’m surprised they’ve been sane enough to not say anything even while drunk.”
it almost seems like their conversation summoned jaehyun into the kitchen as he comes rushing to them. “oh, speak of the devil. we were just talking about you,” matthew says with a smile until he sees worry taking over jaehyun’s features.
“guys, i think y/n had too much to drink.”
matthew stands up straight. “where are they?”
“in the bathroom with julie.”
without another word, matthew makes his way to you while jaehyun follows. “what even happened?”
“y/n was fine, i swear. with how they were acting, we all thought they were just tipsy. but it was like watching a sudden switch from that to… genuinely almost passing out.”
it’s not that matthew doesn’t trust jaehyun. if anything, he would trust him any other day to watch over you, but tonight’s events only show that jaehyun still has much to learn about you. the guilt in his voice only shows how much he cares.
as soon as matthew spots sungho and natty outside of the bathroom, he rushes to them. “oh, thank god you’re here. julie is helping them freshen up right now,” sungho says. 
“we weren’t trying to get them blackout drunk, we swear. we really thought they were okay, but i don’t think they ate enough before drinking. me and julie were helping y/n as they were throwing up but they kept looking for you.”
matthew rubs his chin over natty’s explanation. “can i go in?”
“uh, let me check.” natty knocks on the door before swinging it open.
“matthew, we’re sorry. we really didn’t know,” jaehyun apologizes.
before matthew can say anything, julie exits the bathroom. “i think they puked out whatever they could. just make sure they stay close to the toilet.”
without another word, matthew makes his way to the doorway. he sees your hunched figure by the bathtub as you sit on the tiled-floor. in your drunken state, you don’t notice him as you quietly sing a melody.
matthew should’ve been filled with worry. yet, he thinks back to natty’s words, and the image of you looking for him plays in his mind—and it’s a smile that he can’t get rid of.
once he closes the door behind him, your eyes snap to him. “matthew! you’re here.” your slurred words bring him to a chuckle.
matthew remembers the last time you were this drunk; it’s funny to find you in the same situation after telling him multiple times that you wouldn’t drink that much ever again. he crouches to your side, taking in the sight of your disheveled state. “y/n, i thought we weren’t going to drink that much anymore.”
“i know,” you hiccup before your eyes shut, “i’m sorry.”
sure, you were always a mess whenever you drank this much, but you were never intolerable—never to matthew. (after all, he’d deal with you in your most intoxicated state over the others.)
his hand reaches out to tuck some strands behind your ear. at the presence of his warmth, your cheek snuggles against his palm. “you don’t have to be sorry. it’s okay.” you melt into his touch. 
without thinking, his thumb caresses your cheek, etching invisible shapes onto your skin. he watches you twitch over the action, and your eyes meet him once more. 
matthew’s ready to draw his hand back, help you stand up and escort you back to your place—
“you’re so pretty.”
his movements halt. matthew doesn’t know if he heard you right or if the alcohol is getting to him as well.
“huh?”
and the next thing you say stops him from breathing. “you’re so cute.”
it’s not unusual for you to compliment him, really, but something’s different about now. maybe it’s the alcohol or the distance between you two, but all matthew knows is that your words carried some weight different from other instances.
perhaps now is the worst time for matthew to be stuck in a daze. you’re drunk. he shouldn’t be making a fuss over the nonsense you spout, which is why he fails to catch the telltale signs of your impending nausea. (and you clearly wouldn’t have caught yourself in your intoxicated state.)
before you both know it, you throw up on yourself, and that finally snaps matthew out of a haze. he’s quick to grab the trashcan and bring it close to you. as you vomit, he holds your hair back. it keeps on going, and going, and going—at least matthew will take that as a clear sign that you’re done for the night.
on the next day, matthew asks if you remember what you said last night. when he’s met by your confusion, he knows better than to not think anymore of what you said then.
(and instead of sharing your slurred words, he tells you of the vomiting mishap in the bathroom. jesus fucking christ, i am not drinking ever again, you say in embarrassment.)
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ever since that night, matthew has made it a habit to ask about your progress with jaehyun. it’s not that he’s running away from the events of that night. after all, hanbin’s right; matthew should do a better job in playing cupid for you and jaehyun. yet, all questions pertaining to your relationship with the boy were always met with a shrug and a refusal to dive into the details.
a few months pass. something romantic has yet to develop between you and jaehyun. at this point, matthew is feeling hopeless about the future you dream with that boy, but he isn’t the type to give up. he knows that there’s something between you two—all you need is a push.
“happy birthday, gyuvin!” everyone cheers as their cups clink against each other.
the birthday boy grins as he leans on ricky’s shoulder. “thanks, everyone. i’m glad you guys are here,” he mumbles. his cheeks have gone red and his words are starting to slur. considering how long the party has been going, matthew isn’t surprised to see gyuvin very much intoxicated.
for his birthday, he decided to invite his friends from his other social circles; basketball jocks, gaming nerds, and even student council folks take over his house as they talk and play over drinks. gyuvin thinks now would be the best time for all of his friends to meet. still, most of the group sticks together.
“you know, you should just hire me to bartend for your parties. everyone in this party seems to be chugging the drinks i mix for them,” jiwoong jokes as he bumps his shoulder against gyuvin.
“isn’t the next party going to be halloween? are we even planning to host one?” hanbin asks.
taerae tries to recall the previous arrangement. “didn’t we agree to spend halloween with yujin?”
“nah, we decided on christmas. yujin said he has plans for halloween, so we can host or just find another party to crash.” gunwook’s response brings the whole group to look at him. he raises his hands in defense. “don’t look at me! i’m not offering to host.”
“does myungjae not plan to host one?” hao’s question seems to be directed at matthew with how his eyes are on him.
jiwoong brings his hands together. “perfect! he might hire me.”
matthew rolls his shoulders back. ever since he tried playing cupid, he doesn’t know why everyone seems to go to him for anything related to you and jaehyun. first, it was when gunwook wanted to know about jaehyun’s schedule. next, it was gyuvin when he asked if jaehyun and his friends would be attending this party.
it’s not like matthew knew everything about myung jaehyun. 
(unfortunately, it doesn’t help that he only has jaehyun’s schedule because he had to find a way to make you spend time with him. what doesn’t help his case any more is that he only knew of jaehyun’s attendance because he wanted to make use of this party to push you to do something.)
“i wouldn’t know.” matthew takes a sip of his drink. “and, wouldn’t hanbin know? he’s closer to myungjae than i am.”
“we should just ask him. where is he, anyway?” hanbin looks around.
“probably with y/n, or something,” ricky jokes before swaying in his spot with gyuvin. “any update on that? what’s been going on with them.”
all matthew does is shrug in response.
“guys, hear me out…” gyuvin calls on the group’s attention. “truth or dare.”
a beat passes.
“let’s go find myungjae.”
“yah! it’s my birthday.” gyuvin pouts over hao’s reaction. “don’t you guys think it’ll be fun?”
jiwoong scoffs at gyuvin’s question. “fun? the last time we played, it resulted in someone losing their clothes and me almost losing my job from a tweet you guys made.”
“i thought you hated your job, anyway.” taerae’s comment results in a scolding from jiwoong. “what?! i’m just pointing it out.”
while some were against the idea, others were onboard with gyuvin’s idea. “i’m sure it’ll be fun. let’s get myungjae and the others to join in as well,” gunwook suggests.
then, it hits matthew that this is it—this is the opportunity that he needs to push you. under the guise of a simple and fun game of truth or dare, he could maximize whatever option you choose. “i’m in.”
everyone ends up agreeing with gyuvin’s game. from there on, all matthew needs to do is grab you and jaehyun and hope that his plan moves forward. (and get his other friends to join, sure.)
matthew is lucky that he’s able to spot julie in a sea of students. while she’s busy chatting with the seniors, he realizes that you and jaehyun aren’t with her. he continues to move through the crowd. the last thing he wants is to see you too drunk to function, especially when the universe presented him with the perfect opportunity for you and jaehyun.
yet, it comes to his surprise that he sees you in the corner, whispering into the ear of your crush with your hand against his chest. the grin on jaehyun’s face is enough for matthew.
maybe you didn’t need your friend’s help. just from the distance (or the lack of it), matthew thinks you might have everything under control. that means that matthew can sit back and allow you two to unfold this romance.
but there’s a sting in matthew’s chest. he’s sure it’s not a heart attack; it should come in a form of squeezing, and the pain should spread throughout his body. yet, the one he’s experiencing is merely an ache. maybe he should hold himself back from drinking any more.
“have you found y/n?” gunwook rests his hand on matthew’s shoulder. before matthew can respond, gunwook spots you and jaehyun. “myungjae! y/n!” at his call, you two snap your attention to them. matthew can already tell how intoxicated you are from how you spin your head to his direction. “come! we’re gonna play a game.” with that, gunwook takes his leave.
matthew’s suspicions are further proven with your inability to walk straight to him. “matthew! there you are,” you giggle as your arm links with his. your hiccup brings matthew to look at jaehyun.
“how much did they have this time?”
“less than the last time, but i’d still argue quite a lot.” 
while matthew and jaehyun try to find the group, you continue to latch onto matthew’s arm as you walk sluggishly. “do you not drink a lot?” matthew asks jaehyun.
the boy hums for a moment. “i do, but i think it’s better if i drink less when i’m around y/n. at least i’d be sober enough to take care of them.”
matthew has no reason to doubt jaehyun, especially with an answer like that. he knows that jaehyun would care for any of his friends; jaehyun’s always been the type to help out his friends with any task, but his choice to take that extra step tells matthew enough of his adoration for you.
“what are you guys talking about? are you talking about me?” you slur the question as you tug on matthew’s arm. “it better be good things.”
matthew can’t help but laugh.
as soon as matthew and jaehyun spot the rest of their friends gathering into a circle around a bottle, the three of you quickly find your own spots to settle into.
jaehyun takes a seat near sungho, leaving some space beside him. before matthew can go somewhere farther to sit, your grip on his arm holds him back. “hey, stay with me.” matthew’s eyes flicker between your drunken expression and jaehyun’s gaze fixed on him and you.
“you’re okay. you’ll be with myungjae.”
matthew’s confident that you would agree to sit beside jaehyun. after all, the boy took care of you for most of the night. yet, your grip never falters, and nothing could’ve prepared him for the last sentence you mumble, one only for him to hear.
“no. want you with me.” 
matthew stills. the music becomes muffled and the chatter surrounding him falls silent. instead, the beating of his heart fills his ears as heat rises to his cheeks—and he doesn’t know why. 
“hey! sit down!” gyuvin calls him out. with all eyes on you two, matthew doesn’t want to upset you any further. if he pushed to sit somewhere else, it would only cause a scene, and that’s the last thing he wants on his friend’s birthday. matthew finds himself sinking into a spot beside you.
the game proceeds accordingly, where most chug some more alcohol with every round that passes. secrets spill out of people’s mouths and laughter seems to fill the air. and for some reason, with all the times that’s passed, you stayed leaning against matthew.
at least you weren’t drinking along with the others.
after multiple interrogations and embarrassing dares, taerae spins the bottle. “please please please, don’t make it me again,” he prays as everyone watches the bottle go in circles.
“i’d laugh if you had to do another one,” gunwook says before taking another shot. “actually, i’m going to hope it lands on you!”
taerae tackles his friend to the ground over his comment, making him yell out complaints. yet, the universe works in taerae’s favor—and also matthew’s.
“oh my god, finally!” taerae cheers as he sees the bottle pointing at you.
you blink a couple of times. “oh, fuck me.” your head finds its spot behind your hands.
“i have been waiting for this one.” taerae rubs his hands together. “truth or dare?”
you have always been the type to choose truth. with the group’s history with dares, you weren’t the type to take that risk, which is why it comes as a surprise to everyone when you say, “fuck it, give me a dare.”
this is it. this is the opportunity that matthew needed. “i have a dare!” he beats everyone from spitting out any useless suggestion. as soon as all eyes are on him, he glances at jaehyun before saying, “i dare you to do seven minutes in heaven.”
your eyes go wide over matthew’s suggestion. “what the fuck?” you smack his arm. “no way in hell am i going to do that!”
“nu-uh! a dare is a dare,” ricky argues. “don’t try to get out of this.”
gyuvin speaks up, “if it helps, you don’t have to do anything with anyone. take this as your opportunity to bond with someone, get your heart-to-heart talk or something. but you can also make out with them, we don’t really care.” before he can take another shot, ricky stops him from doing so.
you groan at your friends’ insistence. “but with who?”
the stars are aligning for matthew. he’s about to chime in with the perfect name—
“what if we just spin the bottle again?” all hope shatters for matthew, and myung jaehyun is to blame. “that can determine who will be with y/n. it’s completely by chance.”
before matthew can interject, gyuvin claps at jaehyun’s suggestion. “you know what? you’re so fucking smart. let’s do that.” with how intoxicated the birthday boy is, no one seems to go against his idea, including you, and matthew fears what will unfold once that bottle lands on someone that isn’t jaehyun.
as soon as gyuvin reaches out to spin the bottle, matthew shuts his eyes in hopes that the universe would listen to him in the same way it did with taerae. he’s not even doing this for himself—it’s all for you. he wants you to win as much as you do with yourself. (he hopes that, at least. he needs you to believe that you have something with jaehyun as much as he does. if you didn’t, then this would go nowhere.)
“oh.”
matthew says one final prayer. he opens his eyes at the sound of gyuvin’s reaction, and what he doesn’t expect to see is the bottle pointing right at him. matthew’s convinced that the universe is going against him.
“well, lead the way, birthday boy,” jiwoong says.
matthew glances at you, expecting to see disappointment, but he only sees an expression he’s never seen before—and one he can’t decipher. 
it doesn’t take a while until you and matthew are shoved into gyuvin’s walk-in closet. gunwook says they’ll keep the game going, but matthew attempts one last time to get out of this dare, only for the door to be shut right in front of his face.
as the shuffling of footsteps grow distant, matthew finally accepts defeat. he looks back to see you sitting on the floor with eyes shut. maybe you need these minutes to sober up. after all, who is the best person to take care of you if not him? 
matthew finds himself on the floor with you. seven minutes could easily pass with you two; not a single word needs to be said. but tonight, time seems to stretch into an eternity. matthew hates it.
he takes in the sight of you; your shirt’s disheveled and your nose scrunches from the heat of the room and alcohol. still, most things remain the same. your arms cross with every moment your eyes long for rest and your steady heart sounds throughout the room from every exhale.
since when did matthew notice all the small things about you? it’s not like you two were friends longer than he is with hanbin. he still finds himself forgetting trivial things about his friends—with you, it comes easy.
your eyes peel open, and for the first time, matthew’s nervous around you.
“you feeling better?”
you nod before sitting up straight. “yeah, i think the alcohol is leaving my system.”
“that’s good.”
seconds go by.
“so,” matthew clears his throat, “how are you and myungjae?”
a laugh escapes you, not like the ones whenever he cracks a joke but something he’s never heard before. “we’re okay.”
matthew waits a couple of moments until he realizes you weren’t going to expound. “oh, so now, i don’t get to hear you yap about your crush?” his comment manages to earn a laugh he’s familiar with.
but it’s turned into a reality. he can’t remember the last time you actually talked to him about myung jaehyun. if anything, it’s almost like you don’t want to talk about the boy to him.
matthew’s never been the type to force you to share anything, really, but he realizes it’s been a while since you mentioned the boy’s name. it’s impossible for him to ignore that. and tonight, he can blame his curiosity on the alcohol.
“are you hiding something?” 
“it’s not that.”
matthew hums. “then, what is it? 
silence falls on you two.
he takes the lack of your response as a sign. to not push any further. to not be curious. to respect your privacy.
to sit back and watch it unfold.
to forget all that you’ve said on that drunken night.
“myungjae and i are just friends.” matthew’s eyes snap up to meet yours. “we’ve always been just friends.”
“but that can change. i mean, i could help you! i’ve seen how much he cares for you, i’m convinced he likes you—”
“matthew,” you cut him off, “like i said, we’re just friends.”
he frowns. “i’m confused. just because you’re friends now doesn’t mean you can’t be something more.”
your breath hitches, and his confusion deepens.
“you really think that?”
it’s at this moment that matthew spots something different about you tonight, one he’s never been on the receiving end of to experience—your glossy eyes filled with strong, bittersweet yearning.
and he holds his breath before saying, “yes.”
the bass of the music fades away. the heat of the alcohol means nothing. matthew could care less about who he came with to this party.
right now, it’s just you two. 
“i don’t like myungjae.” your reveal causes matthew to frown. “i haven’t liked him for a while.”
“oh.”
you nod. “yeah.”
matthew has a million questions running through his head. what caused the change or heart? how long ago did you know that? is there something wrong with jaehyun and he never saw? 
“i—”
“when—”
he shakes his head. “sorry, you go first.”
“no, it’s okay. what were you going to say?”
“it’s just… i wanted to know when you realized that.”
a chuckle leaves you. “even before hanbin’s graduation party.”
“you could’ve told me! if i had known, i wouldn’t have kept pushing you to do something with myungjae.” matthew hides his mouth in embarrassment. 
you shake your head. “it’s okay. i didn’t tell you because…”
matthew notices your fingers fiddling with each other, an unconscious habit of yours whenever you’re anxious, and his confusion grows.
he doesn’t want you to think he can’t be trusted with your secrets, your stories, everything about you. after all, he wants to be your friend—your person—and how can he do that if you felt an ounce of shame to tell him that? he needed to let you know that—
“i like you.”
time stills for a moment.
for once, matthew doesn’t know what to say. 
“time’s up!” the door swings open, revealing gunwook and taerae whose grins are lopsided. “did y’all enjoy the heart-to-heart?” gunwook’s question is an innocent, light-hearted one, but the silence hanging between you two is nothing of the sort.
before matthew knows it, you let out a giggle. “of course!” in your attempt to stand up, you almost lose your footing, causing taerae to reach out to you. “sorry. i don’t know why but i feel a lot drunker than before.”
your slurred words only makes taerae shake his head. “oh, my silly lil alcoholic. let’s keep it going!”
the three of you exit in high spirits. yet, matthew finds himself stuck in his spot.
stuck in his memories.
stuck in the last conversation.
stuck in your words.
stuck in denial.
“yah, matthew! hurry up! we’re still playing,” gyuvin shouts from outside of the room.
because you’re drunk. you probably didn’t mean anything you said, like how you didn’t mean what you said at the last party. 
for the rest of the night, you continue to enjoy gyuvin’s birthday.
matthew attempts to do the same.
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it’s been two months since that conversation. on the morning after the party, you admit to the group that you lost recollection of the events that transpired on gyuvin’s birthday. with how much the birthday boy drank, he found himself in the same boat as you. taerae says that it’s only best that you don’t remember anything from that night, mainly to save his pride.
but matthew remembers it all. he remembers how you looked at him that night, how your breath hitched, how long the silence was all before you lied.
and he knows you lied.
all it took was one sight of you on a date with jaehyun for him to realize that.
matthew couldn’t believe he showed up to the halloween party, not because he wasn’t the type to deny an invite, but because it’s being hosted by jaehyun.
he has nothing against him, really, but the conversation in the closet shifted everything; his dynamic with the boy, his thoughts surrounding your relationship with jaehyun, his feelings towards you. matthew prefers to keep his distance out of respect for you two.
that doesn’t mean he won’t talk about it with others.
“i really don’t think they’re together.”
“hanbin, did you completely forget what i said?” matthew shakes his head. “they were on a date.”
he finds himself in the kitchen dressed as saiki k with an almost-finished bottle of soju in his hand. while the rest of his friends were off somewhere, hanbin and hao, who were dressed in stitch and angel onesies, stayed with him.
hao takes a sip of his drink. “how’d you know it was a date? they could’ve been hanging out for all you know.”
“well…”
“see! you can’t even defend your point.”
matthew groans. “that doesn’t change anything. i’m sure of it. i mean, they came in a couples costume!”
“they’re matching with sungho, you airhead,” hao points out.
hanbin laughs before adding, “as the incredibles, too!”
their doubtful reactions causes matthew to roll his eyes. he chugs the remaining contents of his bottle before grabbing himself another. “i thought i could trust you two.”
“and you can!” hanbin tries to snatch the bottle but fails. “dammit. just be responsible, okay? it’s already hard enough dealing with jiwoong and taerae when they’re drunk.”
hao sighs. “and you know, jiwoong’s drinking heavy tonight because he got laid off. hoping ricky can help him out.” matthew twists the cap open and drinks straight from the bottle once more. “hey, i’m still saying you should trust what we’re saying. whatever y/n shared in that closet might not be a lie.”
despite their attempts to convince matthew, he knows the truth. there’s no point in trying to prove him otherwise. so for now, he’ll drink the night away.
“i’ll see you guys later, or something.”
“matthew—”
he doesn’t spare a second to hear their protests. as much as he loves his friends, he needs some space to wallow in silence. all he longs for is a quiet space away from everyone with enough alcohol to forget everything.
“matthew!”
this is the last voice he wanted to hear, especially at his state. he sees jaehyun and sungho together dressed in black and red.
“oh my god, you’re matching with riwoo! you’re saiki k, right?” sungho asks.
matthew forces out a smile before nodding. “yeah. incredibles?” he points at the logo on their chests.
“yep! you should take a pic with riwoo!” jaehyun suggests
matthew would’ve agreed any other day, but he couldn’t talk to him. he didn’t want to ruin his relationship with the boy just because of his emotions. “myungjae, i would love to, but i have to go.”
“are you okay?”
when concern paints jaehyun’s features, matthew is reminded once more that there is nothing to hate about him. he needs to get over this whole thing. if you’re happy with jaehyun, he should learn how to be happy for you, too.
a sigh leaves matthew. “yes, sorry. i just need space, if that’s okay.”
“of course. i hope you’re okay. do you want me to bring you to a spot where it’s quiet?”
matthew shakes his head before reassuring the host, “it’s okay, i’ll figure it out on my own.” and with one final nod from jaehyun, matthew walks off.
he passes through the crowd, exchanging brief greetings with familiar faces, until he reaches a hall filled with doors. most rooms were already occupied, and the last thing matthew wants is to know what they’re doing. all he cares about is finding an unoccupied room where he can drink the night, the confusion, the pain, away.
once he reaches the final door, he quietly begs the universe to give him what he needs. as he swings the door open, he notices that the lights are off, and that’s enough for him to believe it’s unoccupied. without sparing a second thought, he shuts the door behind him before letting out a sigh.
it takes him a few seconds for his vision to adjust. with the moonlight cascading over the walls, he’s able to take in his surroundings. as soon as he spots a shelf filled with poetry books, he realizes he’s in jaehyun’s room. matthew couldn’t believe what the universe is making him undergo. he found himself in the bedroom of someone he desperately needed to get away from, but he’ll make do with the last unoccupied space—or that’s what he thought.
“matthew?”
“holy shit!” he jumps along with his heart. as he clenches his chest, his eyes dart to the source of the voice—only to see his friend, his supposed something. your chin rests on jaehyun’s mattress as you stare at him; the same, glossy eyes he witnessed in the closet. matthew clears his throat before standing up straight. “sorry, i thought i was alone.”
you shoot him a tight-lipped smile. “no, sorry i didn’t say anything as soon as you came in.”
a beat passes.
“why… uhm, why are you sitting in the dark?” his chest throbs as he asks the question.
what if you were there to meet with jaehyun later in the night? or what if you had already met with him? maybe he doesn’t want to know the reason after all.
“needed to be somewhere quiet,” you answer. he watches you take a sip from a big bottle of vodka. “somewhere away from the party.”
if you need space, matthew is going to give you that. after all, you were in this room before he arrived. “okay, i’ll go leave,” he says as he turns his back on you.
“no, it’s ok—”
“it’s okay. you were here first, so—”
“matthew.” 
how your voice wavers is enough to stop him. from leaving the room. from wallowing in pain.
from abandoning you. 
he looks back, only to be greeted by the sight of you in tears. the moonlight shines against your figure, making you glow in the dark room, and he feels all resolve crumble.
matthew rushes to you. as he takes a seat beside you, he sets the bottle on the floor before his hands reach out to cup your face. “what’s wrong?” he asks as his thumbs wipe the tears.
you don’t spare him an answer; all you do is stare right back at him as the tears stream down your face.
matthew think’s he fucked up. was he busy with his issues to notice yours? did you need him? (as much as he needs you?)
yet, as soon as your hand reaches up to hold his, he realizes that this is all wrong; the distance, the physical touch, everything about this doesn’t respect what you have with jaehyun.
“i’m sorry.” he rips his hands away. “i shouldn’t have done that.”
his apology brings another flood of tears from you. “i thought we were friends.”
“we are friends.”
“then, if we’re friends, why couldn’t you give me an answer back then?”
matthew’s heart stills. “w–what?”
“i remember everything.”
the axis of his world tilts. 
“from the bathroom to the closet,” you sniffle, “i remember what i said, and i meant everything.”
all he knew then meant nothing to the present.
matthew can’t tell if the alcohol was affecting his senses. maybe he’s hallucinating, or his intoxicated mind is planting delusions that he wishes were part of his reality.
but he blinks hard, and he still sees you.
“please say something.”
matthew takes one breath. “i just… i don’t understand. i mean, i’ve been going like, 5 months, thinking those were meaningless words. even in the closet, you said you were too drunk. and you always claimed you had no memory the next day. i even thought you were on a date with jaehyun the other day.” as you scrunch your eyebrows at his admission, he takes it as a sign to explain. “i don’t know. i saw you two alone a few weeks ago, and i just assumed so.”
“we were just hanging out. there’s nothing going on between us.”
he shakes his head. “well, how am i supposed to know that? when i’ve been going through these months thinking all you said was bullshit until now?”
when guilt flashes in your features, he takes a moment to let his words sink in.
he watches you fiddle with your fingers before saying, “i just want to know why you did all that.”
“is it enough to say that i was scared? i mean, i used the alcohol as liquid courage. but in both times, i couldn’t tell if you felt the same, so, i panicked and said i don’t remember anything.”
one thing that matthew knows about you is that you were afraid to take risks—no, not in decision making but in relationships. he knew that the first time you held yourself back from introducing yourself to jaehyun, and he remembers when you finally approached the boy with at least 5 shots into the night.
“can you say something? anything?” you ask.
and all times, he understood your hesitancy. every time you second guess yourself, he’s the only person who knows when to act as your safe space or a pushing force.
“tell me again. tell me what you told me in the closet, i need to hear it from you.” but when your mouth parts open, ready to repeat the three-word phrase, he cuts you off. “when we’re sober.”
this time, he wants to know if he’s a risk worth taking—without the alcohol.
“tell me when morning comes, then you’ll know.” he sees confusion flicker in your eyes. “because i can’t risk anything when we’ve drunk our hearts out tonight.”
if there’s another thing matthew knows about you, it’s that you hate unfinished conversations. yet, a nod from you is enough for him to know why it would have to wait until tomorrow.
from there, matthew stands up before taking his leave.
all he can hope is that you won’t forget the next day.
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when morning comes, matthew can hear a knocking on his door. he makes his way to the doorway, rubbing the exhaustion off his eyes, before swinging it open.
“i like you.”
his eyes snap open to see you, whose eyes aren’t like the other nights but with something he’s familiar with—hope.
“i like you,” you repeat, “and i’m telling it to you now, without the alcohol.”
this time, matthew doesn’t have to doubt your words. he doesn’t have to shut down his friends’ attempts to comfort him. he doesn’t have to deny what he feels towards you.
without saying anything, his hands dart towards your waist before pulling you close to him. shock casts onto your features. as one thumb finds its way under your shirt, etching constellations that you two will only know of, his other hand reaches to tuck your hair.
his lips meet yours. as his hand travels down to caress your face, your arms slowly find their place around his neck. somehow, everything feels right, almost like you two had done this before. yet, the taste of your lips is one he’s never had. as your nose brushes against his, he can’t help but breathe you in like you’re the last thing keeping him alive.
as you attempt to pull back, he tries to chase your lips. “matthew,” you call out his name before he draws you back in for another intoxicating kiss, one where the buzz of alcohol could never compare to.
“don’t,” he mumbles in between, “let me have this.” he pulls you into his dorm with ease and shuts the door behind you. matthew pushes you against the door with his lips still on yours, hands exploring your figure.
from there, you don’t protest.
maybe he’s wanted you much longer than you did. maybe he’s wanted you ever since you revealed your crush on jaehyun and he never allowed himself to dwell on his own feelings. maybe he’s wanted you since the first time he’s ever set eyes on you. 
but one thing he knows is that he wants you—much more than you do with him.
(and he’d never allow you to think he wants you any less.)
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networks taglist: @kflixnet @k-labels @blankjournal @zumblrnet @kstrucknet
zb1 permanent tag list: @deinsleeps
story taglist: @seokkiez @loserlvrss @itaerae
@blandtako @gong-fourz @rentenwins @pandagirl753
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chukys-mouthguard · 8 months ago
Note
14. “That was but a moment of weakness. Think nothing of it.”
jack has been pinning after quinn’s grumpy best friend and she won’t admit how fond she is off him and they finally kiss and she tries to play it off but jacks knows :)
Prompt: “That was but a moment of weakness. Think nothing of it.”
Note: I’m literally was brainstorming ideas for these prompt requests while driving to work today and literally making voice notes of my ideas 😂 this one ended up a little on the longer side i feel, but hopefully it’s still good :)
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“Well I know who you’re most excited to see.”
Glancing at your friend you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, knowing exactly who she was talking about.
“More like who I’m going to avoid at all costs.”
Your friend just shaking her head, she along with everyone in your friend group knew how you secretly felt about Jack. But you’d never admit it. Not even to Quinn, his own brother and your best friend for years.
You and Quinn met first, then he slowly introduced you to his brothers, knowing they could be a lot to handle when all together. Luke you didn’t mind, but something about Jack just got under your skin. His confident cocky attitude, the way he was literally good at everything he did, his adorable smile and the way his laugh lit up a room. No, y/n, shut up. Nothing about Jack Hughes was anything to blush over.
“Gonna be kind of hard when we all are stuck on a boat together. And when Jack looks like that.” Your friend pulling down her sunglasses to get a look at Jack, in just his swim trunks as he helped Quinn load up the boat.
Since Jack’s shoulder surgery you’d heard that he’d been hitting the gym pretty hard. And it was sure paying off, sure you admit that he looked good. But you didn’t dare tell him, not needing to boost his ego any further.
“Oh lord…just another thing for him to brag about.”
Rolling your eyes you took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the adventure this day would be. Trying your best to not be a total jerk all day and have some fun.
Quinn waved at the two of you as you approached the boat, Luke taking your bags and setting them on the deck.
“Okay, so Jack and I got pretty much everything ready to go. The only thing left to pack is the cooler, y/n do you mind going to pack that? You’re the go to bartender around here.”
Flashing a smile to Quinn you accepted the task and headed into the garage of the lake house. Eyeing up all the alcohol in the fridge and trying to decide what to bring.
After getting an initial idea, you scanned the room for the cooler, only to find it on the top shelf completely out of reach.
“How the fuck do the Hughes boys reach that? No way one of them got that thing up there.”
Rolling your eyes you tried to find anything that could help you reach, opting to try and stand on a few cases of beer. Only to still be a few inches short.
“Can I help?”
The playful tone of Jack’s voice echoing through the garage and making you cringe. Of course he shows up, loving the fact that you needed him when he knew the feeling was killing you inside.
“Nope, I can do it myself.” Trying to stand on your tippy toes, you swiped for the cooler, only to miss and stumble off the piled of beer boxes. Bracing yourself to fall face first, you shut your eyes tight, only to be caught by the arms of Jack.
His arms that were now much bigger than you’d remembered, his skin sun kissed from being out on the boat all morning, your heart racing from the fall, but also the closeness of the two of you.
“Are you okay?”
He slightly chuckled as he helped you back to your feet, his arms still wrapped around you as he smiled down at you. Sensing how nervous you’d become. Your heart racing as you looked back up at him, not noticing his face moving closer to yours.
Before you could react, he’d placed a kiss on your lips, nothing crazy, testing the waters more so to gauge your reaction. And when you didn’t pull away, Jack knew he’d gotten through your cold act you kept up with him.
“I’ll take that as a yes, and dare I say, I think I make you nervous y/n.”
Scoffing you quickly threw drinks into the cooler, flustered as you just wanted to get onto the boat as quickly as possible.
“That was but a moment of weakness. Think nothing of it Jack Hughes.”
Reaching for the cooler, your arm practically popping out of place at the weight of all the drinks. Jack laughing as he came over to help.
“If I help with the cooler do I get a kiss for that too?”
“You wish Hughes.”
Rolling your eyes you took your hand from the cooler, leaving him to carry it all by himself.
“Hey! What gives?”
“Well you’re loving showing off your new muscles, so I thought you could put them to work.”
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fancyfeathers · 1 year ago
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What a Camera Cannot Capture (Yandere Harbinger Lyney x reader)
the inspiration for the came from the voice line from Lyney when he was talking about how he was Arlecchino’s successor. So here you go, older Lyney who has become a Fatui Harbinger.
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The performance by the well known magician Lyney had just reached its conclusion minutes ago, you were now getting your coat on and getting ready to leave, the last person to leave actually. You were buttoning up the buttons on your coat and reached into your pocket to grab the scarf you had shoved in there only to find it was not there. 
“Looking for this?” You heard the voice behind you, almost with a sing-song tone. You spun around to see the star of tonight’s show, Lyney holding your knitted scarf in his hand. How did he- oh wait, he’s a magician, sleight of hand was his thing. He tosses it back to you and as startled as you were, you caught it as he chuckled. “I wasn’t going to steal it, just playing with you.”
“I figured, but thank you for giving it back.” You replied as you wrapped it around your neck. You turned to the door once more but he called you back.
“You know, I’ve noticed you at almost every show, same seat in the front row.” He spoke as he circled around you, a skip in his step. “Don’t tell me I have an admirer, is that the case?”
“No, no, not in the slightest.” You laughed at his question, but he didn’t laugh with you, if anything he seemed sad. “I’m a photographer for the Steambird, my boss wanted me to get photos for an article covering Fontaine’s entertainment industry.”
“Well then, I hope you caught my good side...” His eyes drifted down to the camera case you held in your free hand and he smiled as his eyes drifted up to your face. He reaches over and before you knew if he was spinning you around and dipped you, his hand on your waist, his face only inches from yours. “…Like this”
He stood you up and spun you out of his embrace and you felt so flustered and your face must have been twenty shades of red. “Y-ya, exactly.”
“Well then, mon chérie, you must be off I suppose.” He walked over and opened and held the door for you. “Do consider paying me another visit at another show sometime, perhaps I could show you around backstage, the behind the scenes.”
“Perhaps, Monsieur, perhaps.”
—————————
“What do you mean your camera is missing?!” You sat in your boss’s office, feeling like a rotten child being yelled at. You had gotten back from the show last night and this morning when you went to get your camera out the case this morning to look at the photos it was gone.
“I-I don’t know, I opened it and it was gone.”
“Well you better find it because without it we lose this article and you lose your job, do I make myself clear?”
“Yes ma’am.”
After that you ran out of her office, nearly in tears as you made your way to the Aquabus Station and took the Navia Line to the Opera Epiclese. You curled up in your seat, praying to whatever god could hear you that you would not lose this job because if you do, archons know what you’ll do then. Once the aquabus reached its stop you literally ran to the Opera Epiclese, your hair getting messed up with your speed and the wind blowing against you, people probably thought someone was dying by the way you looked. You opened the doors to the opera house and rushed into the theater proper. You looked around the opera seat, scouring for where your camera may have fallen. By the time you were finished looking through the seats you must have looked like an absolute wreck with your rush, panic, and tears. 
You sat down in one of the seats and wondered what you were going to do. Then you hear voices from backstage, they clearly talked like they thought no one was there. You walked up the stairs onto the stage and walked over to the doors that led backstage. The door was slightly ajar and you slipped in and ducked down under a piece of furniture and listened, call it a reporter’s curiosity.
“My Lord, please excuse me but I doubt that camera has possible evidence against us.”
Camera?
“I know but it was better to be safe than sorry.” 
That voice… It was Lyney. What in Teyvat was going on?
“Shall we dispose of the photographer behind these photos? Tracking her down would not be difficult.”
Your breathing stopped… dear gods, they were talking about you. 
“No no, that won’t be necessary, she meant no harm by it, besides I have other plans for her.” You heard the voice of Lyney speak, followed by footsteps approaching you but not quite near you, making you think you were still hidden. “You can come out now, mon chérie.”
You could not breathe after you heard that, it felt like you were choking on your own fear. 
“Now now, don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you.” You felt your shaking legs push you up for the ground and you finally got a clear view of everything. The two other people next to the magician make you feel sick, two Fatui agents. Lyney gestured you to come here and you stepped forward, every step made your legs feel like they were led. You stood in front of him, not making eye contact, you felt terrified. Lyney looked to the two agents and addressed them. “You two may leave now.”
There were mutterings of acknowledgement before the shuffling of feet, leaving you and the magician alone. You felt Lyney’s hand reach down and tilt your head so you would look at him. “Let’s get you relaxed, come on.”
He took your hand and led you further backstage until he reached a door and opened it with a key. He held the door open for you while you stepped in, it was his dressing room. Lyney slipped in after you and you did not even notice the sound of the door locking as Lyney urged you to sit down while he got some tea for the two of you. You sat down on the velvet couch in the large dressing room while Lyney prepared tea for the two of you. Your eyes drifted around the dressing room, it was so beautiful, and so many flowers that must have come from Lyney’s fans. Then you noticed as Lyney brought the tea tray over and set it between you, you saw on his mirror that it was lined with articles, more specifically photographs from the articles, your photographs you have done, even some photos of you. 
“I wish my father could have met you.” He said as he handed you a cup of tea and slowly you brought the cup to your lips and took a sip. “She died before she got the chance. I always talked to her about you though.”
“…how long have you been watching me?” You questioned, parting the cup from your lips.
“Straight to the point I see.” He gave a light laugh and sighed while he counted in his head. “Six years, almost seven.”
You nearly spat out your last sip of tea at that, but forced it down as a look of shock and horror came across your face. “S-seven.”
“Just about, since I started about a year and a half before father died.” Lyney spoke as if nothing was wrong when this was clearly messed up. “I’m guessing you have quite a few questions, so please go right ahead.”
“You’re a part of the Fatui?”
“Ah, yes I am.” He answered as he picked up a macaron from the tea tray to eat, but ended up setting it on your plate. “I was raised in an orphanage run by my father who was a harbinger and I ended up joining them with my sister when I got older. Now since my father passed I have taken her place.”
“You’re… a harbinger.”
“I am, but I’m not going to harm a single hair on your head.” He spoke as you raised the macaron he set on your plate to your lips, not trying to refuse and anger him. You started to feel dizzy and almost sick, your hands started shaking so badly and the pastry fell out of your hand and onto the floor. “Oh dear, are you not feeling well? I didn’t expect it to work that fast, I guess I should have taken Dottore’s word on that.”
“W-what… what did you give me?” You tried to stand up but Lyney’s hand came onto your chest, urging you to lay down on the couch.
“Shhh, just relax, it’s a harmless sleeping drug. You’ll wake up in a few hours.” You rampantly shook your head no, you were scared earlier about your job now you’re scared for your life. “Do you have any more questions I can answer before sleep takes you, my love? If you have any when you awake I’d be happy to answer then.”
“Why me?”
“Oh mon chérie…” his hand came up to stroke your cheek as your vision started to fade. “You’re just so beautiful, your curiosity, your passion for your work. See when my father ran the House of the Hearth she had my mother by her side, albeit a bit unwillingly on my mother’s end, but they ended up being happy in the end. Now that I’m the father of the House, don’t you think I should have a wife at my side?”
Your head felt like it was full of cotton, you could not even think as your body fell limp, your breathing shallow as you struggled to stay awake. 
“Just relax my love, I promise everything will be okay when you wake up.”
A photograph can capture the visual, not what disappeared. So what will happen when the magician makes the photographer disappear?
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nohaijiachi · 1 year ago
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Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside
Before we get into the subject matter of the title let me preface a couple of things:
1- All that will follow is, big surprise, my opinion and my interpretation of this character. Do I think I am The One And Only Who Gets The Blorbo Right and that my ideas are 100% the way the author(s) intended to convey the character? No.
More likely than not the way I see Aziraphale could be intensely different from the way Authorman sees him, or Actorman sees him, and I don't think that my interpretation is necessarily any more correct than anybody's else.
That said, if I also did not think that I am, in fact, correct on a certain level, I wouldn't have bothered forming such a thought out opinion of Aziraphale in the first place, nor would be sitting here, writing this post that I can already tell is going to be entirely too long and might probably ruffle some feathers.
So I'll be writing the rest of this post with the caveat that I while I do think my interpretation correct, I'm also not trying to change anybody's mind nor to discredit anybody's else interpretation of Aziraphale. We can sit here in the sandpit and hold different opinions and still be able to build sandcastles together, it really isn't that deep at the end of the day; I can assure you, I'm not here to fight nor cause fights with this one.
2- With the above point, comes also the fact that I won't bother continuously saying "In my opinion" for the rest of this post. You already know that. So, if something will come across as a bit caustic, do know that it is very much tongue in cheek and I am poking a bit of fun at general fannish habits that I am also very much quote-unquoute 'guilty' of having partaken into, and will partake into again plenty of times in the future, I'm sure.
So, with that: Here's Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside
A large part of the people comprising this fandom prefers Crowley. There, I said it.
This fandom's preference blatantly skews toward Crowley. Can we admit that openly? Let's admit that openly.
To be clear, this isn't meant to be an accusation or recrimination or any other -ation you can think of, I am merely stating matter-of-factly a phenomena I've observed in the last four years.
It is also not a wrong nor bad thing in any way, shape or form. I adore Crowley myself. I love them both so much it's unreal.
But I started with that because I think it is very much a symptom of the fact that a lot of people don't get Aziraphale.
I remember back with S1 there had been plenty of times when I found myself reading discussions and opinion exchanges about Aziraphale and Crowley, their dynamics, all the things that went unsaid behind the things that were said, and found myself genuinely surprised by seeing how some people interpreted certain moments wildly different from how I personally saw them.
I look back at that and I think "Oh, sweet summer child". Nothing could have prepared me from the onslaught of takes about Aziraphale that make me go "Good lord, what???" in the wake of S2, and the infamous Last Fifteen.
Now because I don't want to be pointing fingers at specific things and risk upsetting somebody more than I already am by being open in admitting that, guys, yes, some of the takes y'all have been sharing make me go "Yikes(tm)", I'll move on the interesting part and what I would actually love to discuss, aka cracking Aziraphale's head open and see what that actual fuck is going on in there.
Another preface: Because this duo is intrinsically linked and woven together it is downright impossible to only focus on Aziraphale without also mentioning Crowley, so... Let me circle back to our fav demon bae for a sec, here.
I think the reason why it seems that a larger part of the fandom favors Crowley is because I feel like Crowley is a much easier character to grasp. He is very open in his thoughts and feelings, at any given moment us, the audience, have a much easier time watching a scene and sort of ruminating in the back of our heads about Crowley's motivations for saying the things he says and doing the things he does.
That isn't to say Crowley is a less complex character than Aziraphale. They are very much equally complex and multifaceted individuals with their strengths and weaknesses, their issues and the way they each cope with them, how differently they approach their existence and so on and so forth.
But whereas Crowley as a character presents itself with a certain dynamism and a far more outward openness about his complexity, Aziraphale does the exact opposite; we can say Aziraphale is downright hermetic about it.
For us, the audience, he presents a challenge that requires a good deal of thought being put into him to see over the facade he presents at a more superficial level; he requires time and effort to fully dismantle him in our minds to try and see what makes him thick (other than his thighs), and thus I think it is entirely natural that more people latch on the far easier to identify-with, and relate-to, Crowley.
And that is the inevitable consequence of everything that makes Aziraphale... Well, Aziraphale.
So, where to start? Let's try and jot down what Aziraphale truly is at his core.
He is a contradiction.
This man-shaped being is a walking contradiction, constantly existing in a state of being coated in three thousand layers of misdirection and obfuscation and double thinking.
Why is that? Well. He's an angel.
Aziraphale loves being an angel. It is a tenet of his entire existence and something he cherishes. He wants, so very much, to be his ideal of what a good angel is: An entity who is kind and loving and understanding and forgiving.
Of course us, the audience, know that is utter bullshit, because we know angels can be individuals just as complex as the humans Aziraphale loves so much, with all their inherent flaws and capability for cruelty. And, on a certain level, Aziraphale knows that too.
So there we have it, one element of contradiction: Aziraphale wants to think that angels are always Good and Righteous and Never Wrong; Aziraphale knows that angels aren't, in fact, always Good and Righteous and, by god, can they make plenty of mistakes, too.
What else? How about Aziraphale sitting there, being in love with a demon, fully knowing that at the end of the day demons really ain't that different from angels, and also desperately hanging onto the concept of Good vs Bad.
And he sits there, existing with these two contrasting idea equally taking space in his mind, neither side ever capable of taking over the other.
What else do we have? Aziraphale loves God and wants so hard to believe in Her love for humanity and Her ineffable plan, and Aziraphale also time and again does things that very blatantly go against Her will, lies to Her face, and Doubts. He Doubts, a lot, and that requires the capital letter because those Doubts are what spur him in going against everything he's ever told to believe in order to do the right thing.
Aziraphale's very existence is a constant push-and-pull of things he wants to believe and things he knows are real; things he's told to do and things he wants to do. That's how we get "My side" and "there's a bit of good in you" and "you are the bad guys".
And nothing he's lived through has managed to break him out of this unhealthy way of existing quite yet; that's why he acts the way we see him act in the Edinburgh flashback in S2, or at the start of S1 when Crowley has to ease Aziraphale into the idea of trying to stop Armageddon with the usual song and dance of "temptation" and "plausible deniability" and "you'd be thwarting me", even though from the start we can tell there's a little part of Aziraphale who is clearly not at ease with the idea of the end of the world, and once he's been given 'permission' by Crowley nudging him, he is all the way in with the whole saving the world business, not take-backsies.
Both the moments I mentioned here are very important for different reasons, but of the two is very much the Edinburgh flashback that gets a lot more flack by the fandom and is blatantly misunderstood, which I think is the inevitable consequence of that minisode immediately following the glorious, beautiful, heartbreaking piece of art that is the "A companion to owls" minisode.
I've seen a lot of people lamenting that Aziraphale acts obnoxiously in the Edinburgh flashback and, yeah. He does. But I feel like the fact that we are seeing this after watching Aziraphale struggle his way through saving Job's children, even being willing to go to Hell for it, is a though act to follow and probably soured Edinburgh-Aziraphale for a lot of people, made them think that the character had regressed instead of progressing.
But, see, the way he acts is wholly congruous with who Aziraphale is and has always been and keeps being up to the very end of S2. Yes, even after what he does for Job's children.
If you get down to it, Aziraphale had been ready to give up and let the children die, in episode 2. For a brief moment, after Crowley told him he 'longed to destroy the blameless children', Aziraphale was walking away, having tried all he thought he could try to do to stop this senseless act. That was until Crowley tested him by making the crows bleat, cuing Aziraphale to the fact that his impression of Crowley wasn't wrong, and the he could count on him to do the right thing.
To be clear, I don't want to undermine Aziraphale's action by only giving the credit to Crowley but... It is, also, only thanks to Crowley cajoling him and giving him the right excuses, that Aziraphale feels safe in doing what he's always wanted to do all along.
He'd wanted to save Job's children, and thought he couldn't until Crowley threw him that hell of a lifesaver. He wanted to save the world and thought he couldn't until Crowley nudged him on the path of plausible deniability.
He wanted to save Elspeth's eternal soul, blinding himself to the hardships she'd have to endure in her not-eternal life, and was smacked right in the face by the reality of human suffering multiple times.
The way Aziraphale acts in that flashback can't be a regression, because there never was a progression in the first place: He'd always walked the line between Heaven's and God's will and his own, personal morality and sense of justice.
By all means, if we look at Uz-Aziraphale and modern-day-Aziraphale at the start of S1, his reticence about the whole saving the world business should, by all means, appear as a regression as well. You mean to tell me that he'd been ready to become a demon for the sake of three mortal children, and then suddenly a handful of thousands years later when faced with the prospect of the whole world going up in flames he'd just be all like "Heaven will triumph over Hell and it will be all rather lovely"? Like, fuck off, Aziraphale, you lying double-thinker, you (/pos)
Aziraphale constantly exist while being at war with himself. Circumstances have allowed him to rebel the will of Heaven and God more or less safely time and again, but he never quite managed to break free entirely. He'd always ended up being reeled back in, being fed the party lines, being made to feel shame for his independent thinking, until it all becomes too much and he is forced to step back from that freedom he'd been inches away from grasping.
Back and forth, back and forth, never stopping.
And all of this, all of what he is, makes it so hard for us, the audience, to truly see him. To truly grasp him. To truly watch any given scene with him and figure out what he might be thinking or feeling.
To understand Aziraphale is to understand what he is not saying when he says something, which is a good deal harder to do than it is to understand and relate to a character like Crowley, who very much revel in saying exactly whatever the heck he thinks whenever he damn well pleases.
All those layers of obfuscation and misdirection and double thinking that Aziraphale coats himself in are as much an armor that makes it harder for the audience to understand him as they are his very own downfall because, good lord, if you exist like that, if you exist forced to keep things hidden from yourself, well... It's inevitable that at some point you are going to stumble into pitfalls of your own making.
And I love him for it.
So, there? I hope I managed to explain something with this post, and that it wasn't just the rambling of someone who spends way too much time thinking about her blorbos. To be clear, I don't think people who haven't spent as much time as me trying to dissect and better understand Aziraphale's character are like, dumber than me or anything. It's just that this pair of angelic-demonic blorbos take too much real estate in my mind, lol.
Feel free to let me know your opinion and if you think I am wildly off mark and my Take Is Bad. I might answer, I might not, it all depends on time and my mood ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜
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thehighladywrites · 1 year ago
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The Airhead Chronicles
…and the surprise
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pairing: cassian x bimbo reader, inner circle x reader, nesta
summary: Not being able to avoid his family anymore, cassian brings you to meet them, despite the new bond. You all get along great and someone particular catches your eye👀 does the night end as amazingly as it began, though?
warnings: tragic backstory, reader’s mysterious aura is finally explained, i’m so sorry but i’ll have to villainize Nesta in this but I love her and will make a fluff fic with her soon
amara’s note: i’m sorry this took a while, life was kinda hectic but it’s all good now. This is quite a short bc i’m trying to build up some angst…
part one part two part three
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“Wha- Rhysie? What are you doing here?” Confusion washed over you as Rhys appeared, equally bewildered.
“This is mine and Feyre’s home, we live here, y/n. What brings you here?”
Your puzzled expression deepened. This wasn't adding up. You were supposed to meet Cassian's friends. Maybe you'd gotten the wrong house.
“I’m visiting my mate's friends. Look, I even baked a cake! Doesn’t it look so tasty?” You held up the cake as you flashed him your usual smile as he nodded absentmindedly.
“You two know each other?” Cassian's raised eyebrows reflected his confusion.
“Cassie, this is Rhys. He’s the friend I’ve been telling you about. You know, the one that helped me move and who I work for.” You introduced Cassian to Rhysand, unaware they'd been friends for half a millennium.
“Y/n, why don't you come inside? Feyre and Nyx are here too. I know they’d be thrilled to meet you,” Rhysand suggested, maintaining eye contact with Cassian, whose expression remained unreadable.
“Oh, I wish we could stay, but we have to like go. Gonna meet my handsome man’s friends, and just between us, they’re like super important people, so I need to prepare myself. But you might now them since you’re high lord.” You leaned in, whispering lowly.
Cassian squeezed your hands reassuringly. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Go ahead and say hi, I’ll just talk to Rhys for a second.”
With a smile, you kissed his cheek and skipped inside to greet with your dear friend Feyre and favorite little guy, Nyx.
Cassians pov:
“You want to tell me how the hell you know her?” Cassian struggled to process the revelation. The idea of you and Rhys already knowing each other left him in disbelief. He couldn't fathom how he was being vexed by your super amazing friend, only to find out he was Cassian's friend too.
“Listen, I didn’t know you were mated or anything. I’ve known her since we were faelings.” Rhysand raised his hands, signaling that he harbored no ill intentions towards you and hadn't done anything wrong.
Cassian backed away, hands on his hips, strolling to the drink cabinet. He grabbed two cups, plopping down on the sofa and ruffling his wings in a mix of frustration and contemplation.
“Rhysie, I’m not going to eat you up, unless you want me to. Come sit down and just talk to me.” Cassian huffed, a hint of amusement in his expression as he noticed Rhysand practically glued behind his desk. With a roll of his eyes, Rhys rounded the table and settled down next to his friend.
They sat in silence, downing their third glass of Rhysand's expensive scotch. A nod from Rhys indicated he was ready to explain everything, and he met Cassian's gaze as he began.
“Alright, so when me and my sister were younger, my father made us switch from our private education in Velaris to Hewn City. The bastard claimed he wanted us to toughen up a bit. It was pure evil if you ask me.” A disgusted expression crossed Rhys's face as he recalled the horrors the new educators put him and his sister through in an attempt to toughen them up. The treatment was truly horrible for all the children there.
“There, I met Y/n and her sisters. They were downright horrendous towards her, and so were her parents because she wasn’t learning as quickly as us. She was also highly sought after due to her beauty and kindness, something her sisters envied. Her father is the Master of Coin, so they're loaded, and they had us do classes together. All the masters' children had classes together, separate from the other children of the city, to showcase how higher educated we were, in my father’s words.”
Rhys sighed, taking a sip of his drink before continuing, “Me and Selene befriended her, and you should’ve seen how jealous her sisters were. As heir, I had a lot of ladies interested in my title, and her sisters were among them. So they spread lies, telling everyone how I was bedding her as mere teenagers when, in reality, I was teaching her the work our educator couldn’t be bothered to teach her. After the rumors spread, her parents pulled her out of school to stay at home and learn her place in the court—how to talk to suitors, how to dress and act in front others with higher titles. She was raised like some sort of prized horse, ready to be sold. It was disgusting, the number of times her parents tried to marry her off for the sake of a title. Every time they tried, I intervened.” He smirked at the memory of your parents angry faces as the high lords son interrupted yet another proposal.
Cassian was shocked, slowly taking in the information as he nuged Rhys to continue.
“So, what happened when you became high lord? Did she stay in the city or did she move?”
“After I became High Lord, I finally banned forced marriages and made it punishable. Her parents suddenly found no need for her, so they told her that she either found someone appropriate herself and convinced me it was love, or they would’ve gotten rid of her.”
Cassian's jaw tightened, his fist instinctively knuckling up. He was seriously one second away from flying there and taking matters into his own hands.
“So I told her parents that she was marrying a well-off lord in the Day Court and that she’d be well taken care of, not that they really cared.”
“And, before you jump to conclusions, yes, I did ask her if I should take care of them for her, but she's not keen on the idea. She's way more merciful than I am. Y/n actually asked me to keep my father as the Master of Coin and, believe it or not, she told me not to kill them. According to her, it's better to let them live and witness her thriving one day. Quite the plot twist, no?” Rhysand smiled at your words, thankful that he had a friend to help him survive back in the city.
His smile faded as he remembered the 49 years he spent away from his family friends and city.
“I got her a house in Aetherian Crest, and she has lived there ever since, even during Amarantha’s reign. The only ones who know she exists are Feyre and, well, Nyx too, but he isn’t old enough to understand that.”
A shared laugh echoed through the room at the mention of Nyx, the thought of the little one adding a touch of warmth to the heavy conversation.
Cassian, still perplexed, glanced between Rhysand and the glass in his hand. He couldn't quite grasp what you worked on and the role you played in his life.
“She says to work for you. What exactly does she do, and why did you have her swear to secrecy with that bargain tattoo?” Cassian's irritation grew as he contemplated the idea of you engaging in something so dangerous that it required an irreversible oath.
Rhysand took a deep breath, sensing Cassian's increasing irritation.
“Y/n handles delicate matters, specializing in extracting information from people. Her bubbly personality and openness make it easy for others to confide in her. Y/n oversees a team, playing a crucial role in our court. She chooses to stay hidden because she doesn’t want the weight of our responsibilities. The intel she gathers is extremely essential; I pass it on to Azriel, who acts based on her information. You know those thrilling missions you love so much? Many are based on her information. She is absolutely irreplaceable and knows everything about every court. I made her swear the same oath that you all have sworn for the protection of Velaris.”
Cassian was stunned, yet it all made perfect sense. It dawned on him that he had shared his childhood and spilled secrets to you in just a few weeks. It had taken him centuries to truly open up to the inner circle, and here you were, extracting information within a matter of days. You were so smooth; he hadn't even noticed it happening. Your ability to weave into his life seamlessly left him both amazed and, oddly, more enamored with you.
It would be insulting to express surprise. Cassian had a hunch that you were doing something extraordinary; he just didn't know the specifics. Now that he had the full picture, he felt an overwhelming sense of pride and admiration, realizing that you were even more remarkable than he had initially thought, if that was even possible.
“What? You thought we only had boring study sessions together? Me and Selene taught her how to spy, just the basics of listening for information; the rest is all her.” Rhysand snorted, raising an amused brow at Cassian while taking a sip of his drink.
Cassian sat back, absorbing the revelation. A mix of awe and admiration colored his expression.
“Damn,” he breathed, his eyes fixed on Rhysand. “I didn't know all this about her. Rhys, I'm proud of her. More than I thought possible. Fuck, I’m falling even harder for her, if that's even possible.”
Rhysand chuckled at Cassian's reaction and clapped him on the shoulder. “Congratulations on the bond, brother. You'll find you fall for her in ways you never imagined. It's normal when you're bonded, trust me. The other day, Feyre showed me a new move she had practiced and I fell even harder.”
With a shared laugh, Rhysand and Cassian returned to the gathering, joining you and the others for dinner. The weight of revelations lingered but was set aside for the warmth of camaraderie, good company, and a meal shared among friends.
As he explained that the friends you had come to see were Rhysand and the rest of the Inner Circle, a blush crept onto your cheeks. The realization hit you – you had interacted with them so casually, forgetting for a moment that they were the most significant figures in the Night Court. But they were so nice to you, so did it really matter that you talked about ideal sex positions with the girls?
Seated at the dinner table, everyone enjoyed the meal together. You found yourself leaning into Cassian, the atmosphere around the table filled with laughter, shared stories, and the comforting feeling of being among friends.
Azriel had been sneaking glances at you, not really making much conversation, but occasionally cracked a dry joke or expressed his opinion on topics when asked. He found you interesting, not anything scandalous, he just knew there was more to you, his spymaster instincts picking up a mysterious vibe from you.
Amren just looked at you from head to to, nodding with a tiny movement, one you almost missed, and kept to herself the entire dinner, disappearing the second the food was gone.
Elain had been the most welcoming and openly discussed similar interests with you. She seemed to bond with you the most, appreciating your shared interests. You found her adorable and had complimented everything from her dress and hair to the flowers she planted on the table.
Later, in the sitting room, you and Cassian settled on the sofa, and Elain sat across the room. Eager to chat with her, you sauntered over, sitting extremely close.
Leaning in, you began, “Elain, I find you really, really cute. You remind me of a deer; I love them, they’re so adorable. And i heard tou killed the king of hybern. You’re soo brave!! ” Your words hung in the air, creating a bit of a nervous atmosphere, but Elain let out a small giggle at the proximity and the compliment.
“Ohh, thanks. You’re very pretty too. I like the bows in your hair. And it was nothing really, just protected my sisters.”
Your eyes widened at her cute stutter and the way she squirmed. Gods, she was sooo cute you thought you were gonna die!! You so desperately wanted to be friends with her.
You smiled at her one last time, leaving her with a pounding heart and a nervous smile. You skipped happily back to Cassian who looked mighty amused, ready to enjoy the rest of the evening with his mate.
Later during the evening, your arms wrapped around his massive bicep. Leaning your head on it, the warmth of the meal making you sleepy, you scooted closer to Cassian, placing both of your legs on one of his thighs as you rested on his arm.
In that moment, safety, warmth, and reassurance radiates from your mate.
“Cassie, I wanna sleep. M'soooo tired,” you mumbled against his warm skin. His rich laughter rumbled through his body, making you smile like a fool.
Holy fuck, you were so in love with him.
“It’s okay, baby. Do you want me to fly us back to your home or do you want to sleep in my old room?”
You perked up at the thought of seeing his old bedroom, filled with everything that defined him.
“Yes, please! Your old bedroom sounds super cool. Can't wait to see it. And, you know, maybe I could blow you or something?” you said, mundane, as if you were discussing the weather or the latest book you read
Honestly, like, who even cares if anyone hears you talking? It's totally okay to wanna please your mate, right? Ugh, people and their silly fucking rules, it was driving you crazy. If you wanna announce to the world that Cassian fucks you like there’s no tomorrow, then you totally should, no questions asked!
Giggles and laughs filled the room at your crude comment, everyone a bit tipsy after several bottles of wine were shared between you.
Cassian's strong and sturdy body carried you on his back as he gave you a piggyback ride through the house, providing a private tour before reaching his designated room in Rhysand's massive estate.
With your boobs pressed softly against his back, you tightened your arms around him, excitedly expressing your dirty wishes for what you wanted to do together.
His arousal was evident as his pants tightened around his cock.
His heart craved to cherish you eternally, eager to bring you joy in every way possible. In this short time, Cassian found himself wholeheartedly falling for you. Filled with a urgency, he yearned to share just how much you meant to him and the extraordinary lengths he'd go, wrapped in those three words and eight letters.
But life wasn’t a fairytale, especially his.
His body froze in shock as he swung open the door, completely taken aback by the unexpected sight of his old lover standing in the middle of his room. Her hands fidgeted nervously before a palpable wave of hatred emanated from her eyes as she shifted her gaze towards you, intensifying the unexpected and shocking nature of her visit.
You, still on top if Cassian, missed the tension in the air as he locked eyes with his old lover. The atmosphere crackled with unresolved emotions.
Cassian, with you still on his back, shifted uncomfortably, trying to gauge the situation.
He took a deep breath, attempting to regain control of the unexpected encounter. “Nesta,” he said her name with a forced calmness that couldn't hide the turmoil beneath the surface. “What are you doing here?”
Nesta's lips curled into a bitter smile, and her gaze never wavered. “I heard you found someone new. Thought I'd see what kind of female you thought could replace me.”
Your heart raced, realizing the depth of the history between them. The room felt charged with a mixture of tension and heartache.
“Cassie, who is she?”
You hopped down, stepping back, a rush of emotions hitting you as you witnessed a scene too familiar. Many before had desired to take you to bed but had never chosen commitment, leaving you with a lingering sense of being used and discarded.
In that moment, you couldn't help but feel the weight of past disappointments. Praying to every god, you desperately hoped this wasn't another painful chapter repeating itself.
Cassian wouldn’t do that to you. He wouldn’t fuck you and toss you aside for a past flame, right?
You were utterly convinced that he couldn’t change that quickly.
So why did doubt and fear take root in you?
And why did his hand tense and curl in when you tried to touch it?
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🏷️ taglist: @just-a-social-casualty-1 @wallacewillow0773638 @dominika20hella10black @pinksmellslikelove @hellsenthero @val-writesstuff @paasrin
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gremlinmodetweeker · 6 months ago
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From the Cage to... Another Cage
Okay so, I'm desperate for some a/b/o alpha König, so if anyone knows anything, hit me up pls. I am desperate. I'm so desperate I made my own. I'm so sorry for being so degenerate.
MDNI SFW
tw: Sexual themes implied (heavily)
Story below the cut
From the Cage to... Another Cage
“Are you certain she is the one?” a giant man turned to his companion, a korean man staring at a piece of paper.
“I… I think she is,” the beta type A scowled at the paper, “but she’s a bit…”
“What am I supposed to do with her?” the alpha type A gestured at you through the bars of your cage, “this must be a mistake!”
“This is what the SHA came up with, not me,” the paper flapped in the korean’s hand as he dropped it to his side.
“She’s not too bad,” a tall beta type A stalked from the shadows to lean down to see you better, “you’re kinda cute, for an omega.”
You glared at her. She was only a beta, but still she was able to lord her status well above you. An omega type O like you was the absolute bottom of the barrel. You were the weakest of the weak and everyone in the room knew it. It’s not like it was a hidden secret. Omega type Os were typically used in the breeding program, so it wasn’t that surprising that you were selected as a candidate for the alpha. If anything, it was odd that he didn’t seem to be thrilled by your omega status.
“Stilleto, you’re scaring the poor girl,” a man with ochre skin called from the other side of the room. 
Another alpha, this one type B. He seemed more sympathetic than the others, at least.
He walked up to you and knelt down.
“Look, we don’t even know your name. Can you tell us who you are?”
You gave your name in a quiet voice. Submissive, just as you were trained to be. You played your part beautifully, which is part of why it was so startling that the alpha was so upset.
“I never asked for this!” the big alpha kicked a can across the room.
“I know, I know,” the beta man sighed and rubbed the big man’s shoulder, “but we don’t have a choice in this.”
“If I knew this was part of enlisting, I never would’ve done it,” the big man seethed.
“It’s not so bad, König,” the other tall man stood up to his full height, “I got myself a beta, and sure it’s awkward at first, but now? I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“I’m not ready!” the biggest man, evidently König, snapped before rubbing his temples under his mask.
“Dude, you’re a colonel. It’s a wonder you weren’t set up earlier,” the man scratched the back of his head, “but seeing as you’ve gotten so far so quickly, the higher ups are gonna be desperate.”
“So I suffer for my success,” König groaned.
“Cheer up,” the woman laughed as she turned to face the man mountain, “now you’ve got a new toy to play with when you’re mad.”
The man froze in place. Even you, despite not knowing a single thing about these people (aside from the obvious), shivered and backed further into your cage. The woman, however, stood strong against the goliath, looking upon him with Davidian confidence.
“König,” the woman challenged him further.
“Stilleto,” the colossus gritted out.
“If you lay one finger on me, this omega will be the least of your problems,” the woman said cooly.
The man growled from deep within his chest, but he relaxed his shoulders. He still looked like he would reach out and snap her neck without a second thought, but at the very least he redirected his anger. Unfortunately, he redirected it to you.
“If I could leave you to rot in this cage, I would,” the alpha seethed.
“Oh come on man. That’s no way to speak to your omega,” the korean man sighed, somehow visibly rolling his eyes despite wearing sunglasses.
König rubbed his temples again as he took a seat on the floor in front of you. The dark skinned man urged the others to leave the room before shutting the door behind him with a click, leaving you alone with this ‘König’ to get used to you.
König hung his head as he took in the current situation. You couldn’t help but feel guilty, even though you were just as much a victim of the situation as he was. It’s not like you would’ve chosen an alpha type A yourself. Quite frankly, you’d heard enough legends about how aggressive and destructive these alphas were, so you were keen on pairing up with a beta. A beta would’ve been lovely, honestly. Someone nice, calm, easy-going. Betas were known to go into heats and ruts, sure, but they were at least capable of controlling their urges outside of their seasons. A beta was easy to get along with, and they weren’t naturally submissive and weak like an omega, but they weren’t as dominant and headstrong as an alpha. A beta would have been kind and loving while breeding you. An alpha? An alpha type A? You’d be lucky if you came out in one piece.
“You.”
You snapped your head to look up at the man in front of you, wincing slightly when you locked eyes with him.
“You know that as of today, we are both off suppressants.” 
That… You were unfortunately aware of. You knew your purpose here, and he knew it too. Good soldiers didn’t come from nowhere, and the government was always hungry for more. To satisfy a growing demand, your program was developed. And now, you were with your new partner for life.
“Once you get out of this cage, I’ll bring you back home. Do not look up at others. Just follow behind me and keep your head down.”
You nodded along to his orders. Something told you it wasn’t possession that prompted him to order you to keep your eyes down, but something else. Shame, maybe?
“And when we get home,” König faltered, “we will figure it out. I have a guest bedroom for you.”
“Are you sure?” you curled into yourself at his withering stare.
“If the SHA does a follow up interview, we sleep in the same bed and I breed you every other night,” König stumbled through the sentence awkwardly, but you didn’t dare question him. You were curious how he would explain two fertile partners not being able to produce any offspring by the time of a follow up, but you figured he’d figure it out.
König reached up and slid the latch of the cage, opening the door and letting you crawl out slowly.
“Did they really ship you in this cage?” König wondered aloud.
“It was just an overnight,” you said as you shook your limbs. Crouching down for over twelve hours had been excrutiating.
“Do you have a washroom anywhere?” you turned to him, and he silently led you to a public washroom.
You looked around the building as you walked out of the washroom only to hear a sharp clicking sound. You whipped your head to look at König, only to realize that you were already breaking his rules. You quickly train your eyes on the ground, relaxing when the man gives an affirmative hum. You wondered how you’ll know where you’re going when you felt a warm pressure on the back of your neck. It dawned on you that he’d be essentially scruffing you and dragging you along back to his home. It was humiliating, but there was no way to avoid the shame.
As the man walked you out to the parking lot, you endured whistles and catcalls, surprisingly not directed at you, but rather at mocking the man that pushed you along. He seemed to try and hurry you to the best of your abilities, but your legs weren’t nearly as long as his and he had to slow down lest he topple you over. It was laughable how this big man seemed so shy around those who were obviously of a lower rank, but still he seemed anxious as he rushed you to the parking lot.
Once in the parking lot, he hurried you into the passenger seat of a large pickup truck, evidently the only thing that could accommodate his size.
In the car, he slumped with his head in his hands, panting and gasping like a suffocated dog.
“It’s okay,” you gingerly rubbed his back, “it’s over now.”
König groaned and dropped his head onto the horn. You winced at the drawn out honk before he bonked his head against the horn as he processed what had just happened.
“Hey, hey you don’t have to-You should probably stop-”
“I’m never going to hear the end of this,” he flopped back into his seat and dug his palms into his eye sockets, “ever.”
“I’m sure it won’t be that bad,” you tried to assure him but he was inconsolable.
“They all know who you are now. You know, they’ve been making jokes about me for years, ja?” König barked a bitter laugh, “and now they’ve actually seen you. I’ve spent years building up my reputation and now it’s all over.”
“I’m sorry,” you muttered, unable to help the man beside you.
“It’s fine,” he waved you off, “it’s not your fault. Just… I wish they could’ve delivered you after work or something. I mean, while I’m working? Ridiculous.”
You watched as he composed himself. He jammed the keys in the ignition and cranked it harshly. He backed out of his parking spot, then zipped out of the parking lot as quickly as he could.
After a couple of clicks, he glanced over at you.
“I’m a colonel,” he said, “so I get certain perks, ja? I get my own home. It’s nice, but small. Not as big as my home back home.”
“Home back home?” you looked at him strangely.
“I come from Austria,” he explained, “so my real home is back in Austria, near my parents. It is very good, but I cannot go there often.”
“When you go there, will I be coming with you?” you asked timidly.
“Well, my current home does not belong to me. It’s only a temporary home on the base,” König explained, “so ja, you would come home with me.”
“Do I need a passport for that?” you asked.
“You didn’t come with one?” König questioned you bitterly.
“I don’t think so,” you picked apart your file for all your identification, “no, it doesn’t look like it.”
“Just…” König sighed, “wonderful.”
The rest of the drive was silent.
AU Masterlist
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solaarbeeam · 7 months ago
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electric touch - kaminari denki x black reader
warnings: none, reader is portrayed as darkskin, usage of Y/N
a/n: guys he’s my favorite (besides shoto) soo here’s a special fic in his honor <33, i lowkey don’t like this but im trying to discipline myself when it comes to writing.
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When Kaminari Denki made it to UA, he had a plan to become a heartthrob hero, not unlike Hawks.
His plan was completely thrown off the second he laid his eyes on you.
Rich and deep chocolate skin, brown eyes that nearly made it look black, and an all-white smile with the cutest tooth gems dotting your grin.
He was done for the second he walked in the room. He should’ve known then, but he didn’t.
He’d flirted with a lot of the girls in the class action once they had gotten to after the Sports Festival, but most just took it as jokes or rejected him, to which he calmly bowed out. No need to be an asshole about it, right?
As Jirou made fun of his quirk again, he laid his eyes on you once more. You were scribbling in your notebook, humming to the tune of what he assumed was a Bryson Tiller song, completely in your own little world.
He lost all sorts of common sense when it came to you. How couldn’t he, when you sat at your desk looking like you were the one that hung the moon in the sky?
“Hey, Y/N!”
Okay, he’d gotten your attention, what now? Oh lord, he’s an idiot. How is he supposed to do this? Your tooth gems catch the sunlight, making them gleam in the classroom, and he immediately hooks his eyes on them instead, so as to not come off as rude or creepy.
“Hey Kaminari, what’s up?” Oh my god he could stare at that smile for days. The coils of your hair makes him stare at them rather than look you in the eyes.
He holds his hand out. He mentally slaps himself stupid, because what was he thinking, just holding his hand out like that? Jirou could make fun of him for this all she wants and he wont even blame her, because what the hell?
He really loses all sense of self when he sees a pretty person, especially someone has gorgeous as you.
In response, you put your hand in his and marveled at how warm they were.
Three seconds pass by. Kaminari dies mentally.
He had just electrocuted Y/N L/N, the most beautiful person in existence, all because he can’t control himself or his quirk.
At lunch, he profusely apologizes to you, one because he knows your hair is important to you and if his quirk actually did anything bad to your hair, he’d put himself six feet under before you could.
“You’re honestly lucky my quirk prevents damage, but in all seriousness, it’s cool Kaminari. It was honestly kind of cute seeing you trip out like that.”
You have no idea what you’ve done, Cute? Cute?!?? You officially have Kaminari Denki wrapped around your finger.
They have the Training Camp. He’s stuck with Mr Aizawa for remedials, because he’s a dumbass and you can do no wrong. The villains attack, and you’re apart of the main fight. Your quirk, called Bounce Back, allows you to take damage, store the impact, and push it back out to deliver it back to the opponent. It was a perfect offensive quirk.
Until you, Bakugou, and Jirou get kidnapped by the league. You, because you were fighting Toga with Uraraka and Tsu, Bakugou for conversion reasons, and Jirou because of her scouting abilities and super hearing.
He goes with the team to get you back. He’d never forgive himself if he had the opportunity to do something and he didn’t.
Once they got the three of them out, he ran up to hug you, not caring who looked or who saw.
You hugged him back, just as eagerly and emotion full as he did. He felt whole, he felt complete again, and the feeling of you hugging him back with just as much warmth and intensity gives him hope.
They get dorms. It makes his crush a lot harder on him. For once, Jirou doesn’t laugh and actually helps him.
It was a regular night, a relatively warm one since summer had started. He knocked on your door, sparks literally flying from the tips of his fingers.
‘Do not electrocute them, this’ll be all for nothing if you can’t get it together.’
You open the door, and once he steps in, he’s hit by the smell of cocoa butter and hair products that smell distinctly like you.
“Okay so, Kami, what can I do for you?” You’re taking your hair out, as he can see, with half of your head still in mini-twists.
“Call me Denki?”
“Pffft-“ He feels blood rush to the tips of his ears. He’s already fucked up and he hasn’t even started the segway.
“‘Kay then, Denki, whatcha need?” He’s going to die. He will die here happily here.
You notice his hands are sparking. You coat your hands in a pastel yellow, a tell tale sign of your quirk, and you take the risky move of grabbing his hands.
He practically dies right then and there. You laugh out loud, pressing a kiss to his nose.
“You’re cute, yknow that Denki?”
The mention of his name brings him back to the present. He decides to just go for it instead of doing the whole plan he made with Jirou.
“Y/N, will you be my partner?”
“‘Course I will, I’ve been waiting for you to ask.”
It seems that at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, you’re the one with the electric touch, and not him.
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© solaarbeeam 2024. reposts and translations are not permitted.
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snapscube · 7 months ago
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I can't believe your JoCat "gets judged unfairly for liking woman" moment was over sucking titties.
I read the big post about walking on eggshells and I thought for a sec about him and realized": yeah if you be yourself people will be weird about it for no reason no matter how harmless you're being.
oh no dont misunderstand, i have not gotten a single negative response over nophica posting LOL
that post was a bit of a ramble but essentially the eggshells are more.... finding the balance between like,
sharing enough of myself and the depths/nuances of my sexuality to not only normalize its existence but also continue to communicate that i am a forever evolving person regardless of any preconceived ideas of me.
simultaneously taking care to not overshare in a way that would unnecessarily cause discomfort or alienation
understanding that similarly marginalized people On Line or otherwise have been unfairly maligned/hurt for expressing unconventional sexuality that resulted in no harm but brushed up against more puritanical circles, and protecting myself from that outcome as i quite frankly have much to lose
which can be extremely exhausting! but not at all the same thing as what jocat went through. at least, not presently. i guess part of the point is that it could very easily Become an active harassment if i were to be like any more open about the depths of my freak than Nophica Posting cause i have been cursed with some weird shit. but the cool thing is that i pray to the lord god every day that it is never anyone elses problem but my own LOL so fingers crossed!!!!!!
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demonslayerunhinged · 1 month ago
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Uhm...hello...oh my god, okay, this is my first time doing this so I probably should apologize in advance for I just know this is going to be a big yap session (there'll definitely be a question, trust).
I'm rather new to the KnY fandom so I haven't really completed the manga yet (as in, analyzed it) although I've gotten all the Spoilers I could get. I've read the light novels to an extent, too)
Sanemi really became my favourite character although it was a connection I couldn't really explain or express since he unfortunately remains one of the most hated characters in DS, and yes I began shipping Giyuu x Sanemi even though many people seem to think that's weird and came out of the blue.
A Pinterest pin with a link to your page; a post where you had a theory that Sanemi had some form of anxiety...and boy am I grateful to the person who made that post, I've been hooked to your blog ever since.
So, uhm, first of all let me just say that I love all your writings. They're convincing, elaborate, and the amount of research you've put into them is mind blowing! The Obanai analysis, the fandom discourse, to name a few, are some of my favourites. I've only read a few, so you might've already made a post answering a question similar to this, but uh...lemme ignore that. Okay, that's enough...onto the questions.
I wanted to ask you about Giyuu and Sanemi's relationship. One thing critics love to say is that their relationship would be "toxic." (That Giyuu's uncommunicative ways will be irritating and unbearable for Sanemi and since he's shown to be rather impatient, he'd lash out and Giyuu will only become even more quiet.) I genuinely want to know what you'd have to say about this. I can already tell you're an unapologetic GiyuuSane shipper, so I wanna know, as I don't know much about their relationship myself, but found that I adored the ship so much it became too much to bear.
Another thing is about Demon Slayer itself. I'm almost very sure that you are aware of how many people criticize the show. I've fallen in love with KnY and I genuinely want to understand why it's hated so much. So far I've been hearing that KnY is badly, poorly written; it has one-dimensional/ one-sided characters, sucks at world-building, is inconsistent, overrated, mid, cliché, unoriginal and what not. I've seen somebody make a freaking hour-long YouTube video on why DS is that bad. (I'm unsure if you've seen it, though.) Some people say there's way too much plot armour and the villains got nerfed, that Douma vs Shinobu fight was just the author rushing things; apparently the ending was rushed too. Its pacing was "horrible" the backstory dumping and the endless monologue is annoying to them, and "the only personality the characters ever have is their backstory." Someone even commented "the characters are basically caricatures with catchphrases."
I've heard that Obanai's character is boring, inconsistent and lacked development (that his character can literally be summed to "I hate all women except Mitsuri"), that Zenitsu is annoying, terribly written and is wasted potential, that Kanao is a typical Y/N character and that the Kamado siblings are nothing special, and are extremely generic and boring (especially Nezuko, she seemingly has zero personality.) Idk much, but there are some posts on Pinterest saying that all the canon ships except the Uzuis have poor writing. Even Giyuu seems to be a "Wattpad mafia lord who acts like he's carrying too much pain." Basically they're saying the characters are one-sided, lacking in development, mid, the villains are auraless, the anime is cliché and has nothing unique to it, and the only thing that carries KnY is Ufotable's animation.
Now the reason I'm writing to you is because I really, really want to know what your opinion on this is. I mostly think perspectives differ based on how people define "good" or "bad" writing, everyone has varied views; however as much as I want to defend an anime I've surprisingly grown embarrassingly attached too, I think you're better qualified. It hurts when people attack something that's close to your heart, even if it is just a bunch of pixels. I'm probably stupid to get affected by mere criticisms of a damn ANIME this much, but unfortunately this doesn't seem like something I can control. I am a deranged, cowardly escapist so I didn't even watch the criticisms properly but got the gist of it.
Uhm...yeah, I'm very sorry if I sound demanding, you can take your time, it doesn't matter how long it takes to reply (it's okay if you don't even want to reply, needed to get this off my chest to someone somehow), please don't stress yourself out, I've seen all the amazing titles you're preparing for, wish you luck.
(Okay I'll stop now. Sorry.)
Hey Anon,
I hope you're doing well.
Not gonna lie your ask made me tear up a bit especially towards the end of it because I get you, I get you so, so fucking much. Being a Demon Slayer fan, specifically an English-speaking Demon Slayer fan, is tough. It's like everywhere you look, all you see is negativity towards the series. At some point, you start to feel like you're the only one, you start to doubt yourself and feel, just as you described, crazy and deranged for getting so emotionally attached to such a'mid' anime series.
But lemme tell you this. Fuck those guys. Never be embarrassed for getting emotionally attached to a piece of media, that's what makes you human, it means that you have the time to critically assess and think about what you watch instead of just consuming it mindlessly. Creators LOVE people like you, and I'm absolutely sure that Gotogue-sensei would be touched that her work means so much to you. It's better to be attached or be a stan of something than to be a mindless bot wading through life with no passion for anything.
And I'm not just saying this because I'm also a deranged fan. This applies to any piece of media or any anime series. You know your heart, you know what you've been through in life, you know how life especially in this century is so fucking hard where it seems like everything is trying to crush you, where it feels like you're constantly trying to keep your head afloat in a vast ocean of despair being weighed down by, well, everything and if you find that one life raft that keeps you above the surface, that one thing that allows you to keep on going, that one ray of sunshine that makes you think hey maybe the world isn't so bad, as long as you’re in your lane, just enjoying KnY and engaging with the fandom in a positive way then who the FUCK are those barely sentient pieces of shit to take it away from you?
So with that being said, let's explore your concerns
SaneGiyuu is toxic
I feel the reason people think it’s a toxic ship is because a huge chunk of the fandom tends to infantilize Giyuu and vilify Sanemi. Which is a side effect of the lack of media literacy and shallowness that a lot of people possess.
Giyuu is always made out to be this soft, quiet, uwu-baby boy who is in need of protection because he's constantly bullied by the big, scary meanies like Sanemi and Obanai. Which people with working brains will know is far from the truth; Sanemi and Obanai talk shit about him yes, but if talking shit about someone constitutes as bullying then we’re all bullies and I bully my former boss.
Sanemi on the other hand is always made out to be either this irredeemable monster or this dominant, feral, 'hide-your-daughters' type man who's always alpha and on top, grrrrrr, he's both demonized and sexualized by a lot of fans. So with this mischaracterization of both characters, it's no wonder that people will see SaneGiyuu and come to the conclusion that it’s toxic because all they see is this soft, baby-uwu angel being paired up with this rabid monster. They want Sanemi and Giyuu to be Izuku and Bakugou from MHA so badly, which is just dumb. The other detractors of this ship usually lack the ability to recognize subtext or are just plain homophobic, thinking that the ship interferes with their fantasies.
Here’s a list of some posts I’ve made refuting these claims, but also exploring their dynamics. Just like you, this ship is really important to me because of it’s underlying themes of found family, trauma, miscommunication, isolation. And just the comfort of finding someone who has been through the same things you’ve been through and understands your pain.
The Anime is mid
Since you're new to the fandom it’s no surprise that the 'Demon Slayer is mid' comments would get to you, they used to get to me too. Long time fans will tell you how they’ve learned to just tune out the nonsense and focus on the fandom. Like yea yea we heard you, demon slayer is only carried by the animation, when you’re tired of complaining you’ll shut up and go back to snorting the Cheetos dust off your keyboard 🙄. 
I consider Demon Slayer a litmus test on how people analyze media, especially media that doesn’t have elements that they’re familiar with. See, here’s one thing that a lot of people, even fans of Demon Slayer, don’t get. Demon Slayer is a character driven story—every event or fight is done for the development of the characters in the story. That's why the plot is so simple because it’s not about the plot, it’s about the characters. When people criticize KnY’s plot for being simple, I can’t help but laugh because almost all the greatest stories in humanity have simple plots or some none at all.
Lord of the Rings is about a bunch of dudes who travel to a tower to destroy a ring. 
Gladiator is about a fallen general who is out for revenge on the emperor who betrayed him. 
The Matrix doesn't even have a proper goal until the third act of the movie. 
Harry Potter is about a bunch of kids who want to defeat the wizard that killed Harry's parents. 
American Psycho doesn't even have a proper story structure. It's just about a psychotic dude who goes axe-crazy, literally. 
The Star Wars franchise is about a bunch of people rebelling against a dictatorship. 
Sam Raimi's Spider-Man is about Peter facing the Villain of the week.
So why are these stories so close to our hearts? It’s because of the characters. All this talk about characters being nerfed, fights being boring, plot armor, pacing etc. etc. are all plot-related complaints which don’t apply to the story because it’s all about the characters. Those who say the characters are one-dimensional are just fucking stupid, lazy and shallow-minded. The rest don’t even properly watch the anime or read the manga, they just parrot whatever opinions are popular at the moment.
It also doesn't cater to the western gaze. KnY is completely and unapologetically Japanese, it can’t take place in anywhere but Japan. it’s so rich with Japanese culture, mythologies, folktales, and stories that it’s either you get it, try to get it or you don’t. Even the name 'Kimetsu no Yaiba' directly translates to Blade of Demon Destruction and not just any blade either, Yaiba specifically refers to a Japanese sword. It’s a love letter to Japan that celebrates Japanese culture and values so much that it borders on nationalism 😂. This is foreign to some anime dudebros who are used to anime that either takes place in modern Tokyo, Western-inspired fantasy countries, some version of 'San Fransokyo' or the Edo period.
This especially goes for that arrogant streak of shit who has dryer lint for hair that made the 1hr-long video. I’m sorry, but I’ll be damned before I entertain the opinions of someone who thinks Walter White is a great, complex character. Like bitch, you're not some deep, philosophical critic, you’re just a stupid edgelord who just happened to snare the interest of other stupid edgelords who want to feel like their existence and opinions matter in the grand scheme of things.
Here's a video where the creator refutes that asshole's bullshit criticisms. And here are some other positive and more nuanced analysis videos by people who have actual brains and, y'know, HAVE ACTUALLY WATCHED THE FUCKING ANIME AND READ THE FUCKING MANGA! Here, here, here and here. I'll post them in my pinned post and update when I find more stuff.
So please don't feel sad Anon! Nothing any of these cum-stain-should’ve-beens spew out of the cesspool inside their skulls will change the fact that Demon Slayer is a cultural phenomenon that revitalized the manga and anime industry. It is so popular that even the prime minister of Japan is a fan, that it introduced millions of people to not just anime/manga culture but also Japanese culture, that it revitalized the anime industry. There's also the debate about how it apparently outsold the entire comic book industry in 2020 and university researchers have studied and published analysis pieces on the characters. Not bad for a 'mid' series 😤
I hope I was able to answer your questions, and make you feel better. I'm glad you love my work but most importantly:
FUCK YEA!!! WE GOT ANOTHER GIYUUSANE BELIEVER!!!
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