#oh if theres any errors...

[ps-lodestar]

“We'll be your guide! Hello, we are Lodestar!”

LODESTAR or (LS) debuted as a fictional co-ed duo group in September 7th 2020. They are under Polaris Entertainment and happen to be their first co-ed duo group under the company. They debuted with two members; Jijun and Seo. The group was well known for their couple dynamic, light-hearted positivity, and being good role models for their fans.

The group was originally created due to the fact, the two members left their original companies to form the group. This is because of confirmed dating scandals when they were trainees got them kicked out. Unfortunately, the group only lasts for three years before they decided to disband due to their rocky relationship and difference of opinions. It’s unknown if the company plans on revamping the group.

General

— NAME: LODESTAR // L0STAR

— LABEL: Polaris Entertainment

— MEMBERS: Yijun and Seo

— CONCEPT: Their main concept\storyline is being a source\leader for constellation to follow. Usually, Inspiring, Fun, Party, etc

— FANDOM: Constellations // Starlights

— FANDOM COLORS: (#fcffe9) and (#c0b9c0).

— GREETING: “We'll be your guide! Hello, we are Lodestar!”

Discography

MINI — NORTH STAR : 2020

FULL — LIMITLESS : 2020

SINGLE — STAR BRIGHT : 2021

MINI — SHINY : 2021

MINI — LOVELIGHT : 2022

FULL — STAR GUIDE : 2023

SNS

youtube :: LODESTAR_Polaris

twitter :: LODESTAR.Polaris

instagram :: LODESTAR_ Polaris

fancafe :: LODESTAR_Polaris

vlive :: LODESTAR

[whack-patty]

So guess who completely forgot that chocolate milk and strawberry milk is such a big internet thing and made a poll in the heat of the moment and now my inbox is full of T H E funniest tags but also now i can't find any of the non chocolate/strawberry milk debate stuff in the chocolate/strawberry milk flood i am drowning in

GOOD GOLLY

[braintapes]

The Hotel Podcast Season 3 Analysis: Part 4 - The Hotel Herself

Today, we'll start to wrap up anything left to cover for the Owner's arc, then dig some more into the Hotel Herself, her character, and her relation to the Staff.

I have little in the way of fancy preamble this time, except for that I'll consider this my big treatise on the character of the Hotel Herself and I will be discussing more than just her presence in Season 3. I really can't talk about her without getting into...everywhen and where else.

This is also the longest post in the series, at 8 full pages long. Not that much longer than the other posts, I guess, but it feels long to me. Take breaks if ya gotta. Here's some links to Part I - The Manager, Part II - The Lobby Boy, and Part III - The Owner.

It is a joy for me to write this up and to share it with you. If you read even a little bit, I'm grateful. If you read all of it, I'll be over the moon. So I thank you very kindly for your time :-)

Let's get into it with 3.10 In Which We Burn. This episode is about both of them, all of them really. This is where we start to get into that whole, 'interconnectedness of the self within the Hotel' thing I put a pin in before. Strap in for the ride.

The Owner begins again in the void. There is nothingness all around him, yet he wanders forward to somewhere, something he can't quite perceive yet with only a vague idea of what he's going to do:

I would know if I was going the wrong way. Returning from somewhere to somewhere. I don't know where I'm going, but I know how to get there. I think there's someone there already. I think I'm going to kill them. No, that's not quite right. That's not it. But it's all I can think of as I walk thru endless endless nothing. "I'm going somewhere. Someone is there. Someone to kill." Over and over I repeat the words, trying to make them make sense. Trying to find the parts that stick out in sharp directions. Like a mountain crag that needs weathered down by time to dust.

...There's that mountain again. This is a version of the Owner reforming after his last death, one that strikes me as prototypal, almost. He exists in the void for what's implied to be a long time and seemingly has no memory yet of the previous episodes events? He has no memory of...anything. Just him and the endless darkness.

I think that the Hotel is forming him slowly here. Experiencing through him. The Owner doesn't fully exist yet, he's still baking in the metaphorical oven. Without any memory or experience besides the void, she seeps through into him as he fumbles for something.

"I'm going somewhere. Someone is there. Someone to kill."

Consider the creature versions of the Staff ala season 2 or 5, how they seem to have foggy memories that slip away until they settle into being whatever monster of the week they're going to be. This feels the same way to me. Compare the above line with the following from early on in 2.3 Mr Heavy Bones:

Something in me, not me, something separate, needs to kill them.

I also want to point out not just the similarity of those two lines, but how said lines could easily refer to the Hotel herself. Hear me out - If I wanted to describe how the Hotel operates in as succinct a way as possible, it'd be something like the above! Someone is there, somewhere. Someone to kill, someone needs to be killed...

He approaches, or perhaps the lobby approaches him as it comes into view. He's disoriented, the ceiling and the floors mixed up and everything is going by too fast, he's completely disconnected from the sense of time and space of the Hotel's shape. In a flash, he remembers and is immediately reset again. The Hotel instructs:

Watch it again. And pay attention this time.

On it boss!

The music has changed to The Hotel Herself's theme, Cosmic Heartbeat, and continues to play as the Owner goes through another run. The perspective is slowly starting to shift - although we're still seeing through the Owner's narrative eyes, understanding is on the horizon. The Owner goes again and looks at the Manager.

THE OWNER: She's already been killed. Is that what was sticking out? Is that what I needed to weather? I don't think so. I don't believe it, but I do as I'm told. Dying isn't easier the second time. THE HOTEL: (Yyyyyyyyou've) You've died much more than that. You've died again, and again, and again and again. Here comes another one, don't miss it or we'll have to start over.

She's responding not just to his words, but to his own internal narration. The line between them gets a tiny bit blurred, line by line ;)

So, then, if it's not the Manager he needs to see, maybe the Manager's murderer? He takes note of the gibbering creature, starts to remember more but the Hotel grows a bit frustrated with him. The Owner's not quite picking up on everything yet.

So we go back again for another round and the Owner grows more harried. With each death he sounds more and more ragged and I have to give huge props to Graham Rowat. Like I said last post, his performance as the Owner is always wonderful but this episode in particular has always stuck out to me as a high point. The Owner sounds so desperate here, so battered. He's lost and in pain and so afraid of dying yet still trying so hard...

He goes through again, makes it past the Manager and the gibbering creature and sees the Lobby Boy cowering in the corner. He's so overcome with disgust at the Lobby Boy he loses sight of what he's supposed to be understanding and the Hotel kills him again. He's getting lost in the details, not paying attention to the bigger picture. He needs to see beyond himself.

THE HOTEL: We have nothing but time here. (here here h e r e) Time (time time time) and pain(pain), if you want it. I already understand (everything)everything(everythgibber) WINGS FLAP THE OWNER: PLEASE! No more! THE HOTEL: But you don't understand yet. (don't don't don't understand yet ) Until you have an understanding you will receive only pain and time. AGAIN!

There's a bit of implication that this goes on for longer than just the exchanges we get in the episode. Now can see that the screams of his that echoed throughout the season, such as at the very very beginning and on the second floor, were the result of him witnessing these events again and again from his own jumbled perspective. I picture the Owner in my mind's eye falling, hurtling upside down through the Hotel, flying through time and space at Her direction.

I also want to talk a bit about the Hotel's part in these exchanges, and on her broader relationship with the Owner. To my understanding, official word on season 3 is that it's the Hotel experiencing her own origin like a memory, but because time, self, etc. aren't separate concepts for Her, it's experienced in this weird distorted kinda way. But nevertheless, she is here, experiencing all of this alongside the Staff and alongside the audience. She's watching and reliving these events and the Owner seems to be a sort of...Dante, almost? Sort of. He's there to watch with her.

What is the Owner's role through most of the series? His very title the Owner is superfluous because he very obviously doesn't own anything. He has no authority whatsoever, only the costume of it. He holds the threat of replacement over the heads of the Manager and Lobby Boy, but he can't actually do anything to them. The only time he tries to do something during season 4, he gets his ass handed to him just as much as he beats the Lobby Boy. He has no real authority over the guests – he certainly scares them, but he doesn't build the rooms or check them in.

What is he tasked with doing, then? He is to observe the proceedings of the Hotel, observe the guests and the Staff, and file reports to the Hotel. Again, he has no meaningful authority. His reports are meaningless in terms of running the Hotel. She can and does do whatever she wants regardless of what he has to say or think about the matter. So what purpose does he serve to her? This is what drives the Owner fucking bonkers in a 'constant accumulating dosage of radiation over time' type of way. It's the main reason he has such a hangup about not being insignificant, it fuels his hatred (read: JEALOUSY) of the Lobby Boy, it's why he makes it his business to shout at everybody else for not doing their jobs right, it's why he breaks down in season 4, I could go on.

For her, his reports may not have a purpose vis-a-vis hotel operations, but that's not the point. He's her confidant, her right hand. To him, that's an ideal he must constantly strive to live up to and fulfill. To her, she enjoys the company. Someone to watch it all with her. The Owner is so different from her in temperament that in his unique position, I think he gives her fresh perspective, a way of seeing things from different angles. I'd offer this excerpt from 4.8 AJ, Taylor, and Wayne:

I know he wants to understand though, the Owner, for me. He's such a sweetie. Always thinking of me. He wants to do a good job on his "reports". I like his reports, I like hearing about his day, and hearing about the staff, and how they like it, and how he likes it, and if I can do anything to make it better for everyone. I can, of course. Heh, I can do anything.

In 4.11 The Owner - V she tells him:

Now wait just a damn minute. I know you don't like my Lobby Boy, but you have got to get it together. The floor staff are absolutely necessary to running the day to day, but you and I are supposed to support them, drive them forward to new fantastic heights!

The Owner responds, then the Hotel responds:

They were! They are! But it's you and me, kid. I really thought you and I were gonna be able to work together more closely on this. And it's supposed to be fun! You may be like them, one of them but when you come here you're on my level. I elevate you to singular significance, even if it is just to chat.

I know those are long excerpts, but I feel they're necessary here. The Manager and the Lobby Boy have each other. They improve each other and work well together. I strongly feel that their interactions fuel their character growths. The Hotel sees the Owner as the Lobby Boy to her Manager. It's the two of them, working together! He's beneath her, of course, everyone is, that's just how it goes. But they're a team!

The Owner very much doesn't see it this way. He conceptualizes himself entirely from his place in the hierarchy, his title as The Owner. He is above the other Staff and exists to further Her will. He's so god damned worried about running everything that he cannot see past this through to what the Hotel actually wants - his company. The Owner ties himself up in knots partly due to his internally and externally imposed isolation from the Staff. I wouldn't say it made the Owner the way he is, he did just kinda come out of the box like that, but it absolutely exacerbates his issues in a feedback loop. It drives the Hotel mad because she can't understand this. For all she says she understands everything, she struggles to get why the Owner gets so wound up. Something something divorce core or what have you.

...That, um. Got away from me a little bit.

Anyway.

Aaaall of that is to say, if the Owner isn't there to actively affect things, then he must be there to watch. That's been his role, to me, from all of his season 1 episodes to now. His role here, in season 3 specifically, is to watch and learn. And She watches through him, watches him watch, and he is the vehicle through which she makes meaning of Herself all over again through new eyes. Ties it all together.

[More could be said on this about this being the Owner's on-boarding - the exact word he uses to describe this later on in 4.11. But if I start up again I don't know where I'll stop so I need to move on for now.]

The Owner's arc is pretty much done here anyhow. He goes around again and eventually he starts to understand. Starts to! He sees himself in the Manager's place, dead on the floor. He sees himself as the Lobby Boy, cowering in the corner. He sees himself as the gibbering creature.

You're so close to understanding.

THE OWNER: No. No! As the lobby passes I see my own reflection at my feet. The Hotel begins pulsing rhythmically. THE MANAGER (echoing): I see her standing here in the void, fear carved into her face. THE LOBBY BOY (echoing): I see him, and the fear turns into awful understanding. THE OWNER (echoing): Killer and killed. Predator and predated. Ashes to ashes.

The Owner becomes them all one by one, and they, in death, become each other. Cycle through being each other, it seems. Here is the moment of understanding. They are all one in the same. None of them are separate from or above death. They are not separate from the Hotel – they are the Hotel, split into distinct parts which are separate yes, but inextricable from Her. A long silence passes before:

THE HOTEL: The mountain has been weathered. Do you see? MANAGER/LOBBY BOY/OWNER: Yes. THE HOTEL: My will. My purpose. You kill for me. MANAGER/LOBBY BOY/OWNER: Yes. THE HOTEL: You die for me. MANAGER/LOBBY BOY/OWNER: Yes. THE HOTEL: Darkness is the universes natural state. MANAGER/LOBBY BOY/OWNER: We are the light, one and separate, existing briefly, extinguished and anguished. THE HOTEL: Now, at the end, our work can begin. Front desk bell DINGS.

AaaaaAAAAA!!!!! AAAAAH!!! THIS. THIS IS MY TOP FAVORITE SEQUENCE IN THE PODCAST EVER. This is what got me. I already liked the series since I'd made it up to this point, but this is what made it feel special to me. The timewarp end-beginning stuff, the interconnected self, the cosmic nature and presence of the Hotel Herself, all of it resonated somewhere deep in me. This contextualizes the entire thing for me in one line I think about Frequently:

Darkness is the universe's natural state.

That is why I honed in so hard on the light/dark fire/death imagery. The implication that darkness, void, nothingness, death - that all of that is a resting point. The light is an aberration, something new and anomalous which exists for a time before resetting back to default.

The way I picture the Hotel is as a cosmic entity of, well. Cosmic proportions. Too vast to comprehend on a meaningful level. She's not the representation of death in general, she's simply a part of the universe that embodies some of the void. The space between.

After all, a hotel is a place between where you started and where you want to go, isn't it? You go there, you stay there, you leave there. A candle is lit, it burns, it dies. Leaving only cold, empty darkness behind.

It's the inherent contradiction that makes the Hotel Herself in my mind. She exists as an entity, yet is as a void. Symbolically representative of death, yet she contains life and light within her in the form of the guests and the Staff. From her void, she Becomes in infinite fractalling, spiralling shapes. Hotels and lobbies and rooms and doors. Something from an underlying nothing.

Note, I don't mean the terms 'empty' 'void' and 'nothing' as derogatory. She is not hollow (though she does contain hollows). In terms of symbolism, 'nothing' is as much Something as 'something' is. It's like...In art, you have negative space. It's defined by being the absence of something. The interplay of negative and positive space creates the artwork. That's what I'm getting at with the light/dark stuff here.

Another food for thought: How about 'light' in terms of seeing, or perception? Not only does the Hotel take on infinitely many forms in shape, but she also influences and manipulates how she is perceived. The guests, Staff, and New Crew all perceive the Hotel differently - I made a post about this subject a while ago that you can read, even! [That post is outdated now re: the New Crew stuff at the end, but I thought it worth including anyway.]

Incidentally, I think the Hotel does have trouble seeing back at the Staff. She knows them inside and out, don't get me wrong, and she can twist them any way she chooses. But they have gotten out of her grasp before. Her tensions with the Manager and the Owner in season 4 come to mind, she has trouble seeing things from their perspective and vice versa. The Hotel is above them, and that is its own position with its own perspective. The limitless is, ironically, limited.

Now let's talk about the Mountain.

The mountain has been weathered. Do you see?

It's the most predominant recurring motif of the season alongside the fire. I consider it complementary and even entwined with the fire. Firstly, on its own, I consider it to represent structure. The mountain is at once something to be scaled and something to be weathered. In both (contradictory) cases, it is playing within space. The painting process, as opposed to the proverbial color palette.

It directly represents the structure of the Hotel as, like, a hotel - the Staff's roles each represent a floor. The Manager is the lobby, the entryway, the ground/first floor. This is why she has to be the one to search for the place the Hotel will be in the forest, why she has to introduce the season and the series (she opens season 1, too!) while the Lobby Boy is already just kinda...there when his turn comes up.

Second floor is the guest floor, a horizontally infinite maze of hotel rooms, hallways and doors. This is the midpoint, the journey from life to death. Of course, the deaths don't have to happen here, but many do. This floor is a role of its own. It exists dedicated to this purpose. Then, there's the third floor. A dark office that is at once a void yet also filled with paperwork, desks, computers, so on. As I write this, I realize I said all this in the last post so I won't drag this out.

Point is, as we ascend, we zoom out more. The lobby is only ever the lobby. It's a personal, one-on-one entryway. The second floor is broader – there are many rooms for many guests. Only one may check in on a given night, but since time works differently here, all the guests are already there and already dying and already dead etc etc. The third office overlooks the floors beneath it, overseeing not just the guests but the Staff, too. What's above the third floor? Darkness.

These correspond directly to the Staff's roles and we've had PLENTY going on across this season that makes those connections as well. The Manager in 3.2 Hammering Bones experiencing the building of the Hotel first-person style or the Lobby Boy's whole thing kind of tying him to the burning rooms, for example.

[Stray thought: If I wanted to get real artsy with it I could talk about the hierarchy here not just a physical building structure and corporate structure, but also as structure of the human body - Starting from the ground, standing firm as the Manager does, going up to the hands which build, to eyes that watch, to the brain that is. well. everything. But thaaaaaat's leaning a bit too into my own personal projections as I see barely any canon basis for this so. Take or leave at your discretion. I just adore symbolic trios.]

Form and light. Mass and shape. The Hotel as a tiered yet deeply interconnected structure containing fire and light that exists in service of snuffing out the fires that enter her. Do you see my vision here?

Weathering the mountain is grinding down 'something' into 'nothing.'

When the Staff have all been weathered, they are Her again.

There's a little bit more to the ending of this episode, echoes of the old Managers, Lobby Boys, Owners, ending with:

THE HOTEL: …We hope you enjoyed your stay with us. Your Hotel for the night. We hope you'll enjoy all your nights with us. THE MANAGER/LOBBY BOY/OWNER/HOTEL: WELCOME! The Hotel theme plays over credits.

This is a lovely ending to the season and I like it very much. I apologize that I don't have much to say about it beyond that, I just got so lost in the symbolism sauce back there.

I still have more to talk about, actually, while I'm still here. Before I spoil and rot in this text post. It's been 7 long pages now but there's still work to be done before the skin sloughs off my bones. Because in all my talking about the Hotel as she exists, her how and her form and all that, I never really talked about the Hotel Herself, did I?

Maybe I did a little, here and there, but that's just not enough for me. The Hotel Herself is such a character and while she's always been here in this season, yes, we don't get a lot of her directly. And there are still questions that might arise from the whole 'the Hotel is also the Staff and they are all each other' thing that need answering.

Namely, why would she do this in the first place?

[Well, aside from the whole 'well there wouldn't be a story at all otherwise' thing]

The Hotel exists as. ah. the Hotel. Like I said earlier, she chooses that form for Herself, that's who and what she is! A hotel is that positive space 'something' and it has a structure, a prescription just like the archetypes of the Owner, the Manager, and the Lobby Boy do. She has many variations, from a cabin to a rental home, to a dingy roadside motel to the fanciest most elaborate 5 star resort, but these are all her own kind of instancing as defined in my previous post. The only difference is that she, at the highest level, exists simultaneously as all of these instances at once and thus has an eternal awareness of Herself that the Staff do not.

I draw a distinction between the Hotel Herself and Madam Hotel because of this. To me they are NOT interchangeable. Madam Hotel is a specific instance, a specific form that is her, but not all of her. Not fully. She seems more...cloudy, I suppose, as Madam Hotel. Everything is all new to her. Existing in a human body is new to her, seeing things from this perspective is new to her, and she lacks the cosmic clarity of the Hotel Herself in her vast endless entirety.

Still, she retains the same personality. And I really, really want to talk about the Hotel's personality. She's so fun!

She is endlessly curious, always excited for novelty. She likes watching the lights inside her twinkle and interact just as much as she likes putting them out. ALL of it is wonderful fun to her. There's an infectious enthusiasm about her in her season 4 narrations, where we see her fully in her element as Herself. Some excerpts:

[Stretching noise] MMMMMMMM-MM! Sometimes you just have to stretch out and take up some space, am I right? And we have THREE guests tonight! THREE! They aren't getting a room though, so I thought it would be okay to to relax a little, let it all hang out. Well, let some of it hang out, anyway. Really explore the notion of unwinding. My lobby is still rooted firmly, I mean we do have to meet the guests halfway you know. But tonight I just let myself unspool up and up and up and up up up up [giggles] ohhh it's really almost just like doodling. Filling in the fiddly-bits with scrabbly brick and twisted metal and I'm even experimenting with the windows tonight. Kind of greasy and yellow, I don't know, stained with nicotine or some other poison. Just one of those little subtle touches that's more for me than the guests. They don't notice almost anything. Sillies. They just see me as a normal old building, red carpet under an awning.

[4.8 AJ, Taylor, and Wayne]

I lay down, lounging on the side of a very green and bushy highway by an airport. I'm the kinda place people go when they don't have anywhere else to go. Or don't want anyone to know where they went. I fill my dull yellow paint with cracks, for character. The staff barely even have uniforms here, and they look pretty rough themselves. Gotta look the part, right? I put the Lobby Boy's Supply Closet around back this time. The lobby is pretty small, but the fresh air will do him good.

[4.11 The Owner - V]

Look at how much FUN she's having being herself!!!!!! I love her so much!!!! Each instance is an experiment and exploration in self-creation. Okay, hang on, let me have one more. I know the bonus episodes aren't canon, but The Garden has stuck in my interpretation of the Hotel Herself since it aired, let me have this.

My hands shoved knuckle deep into the cool, dark soil of the universe. I flex my digits and churn it into a place something could grow. I plant seeds there and nurture them best I can with water and food and little lights. There are things that live down there that suck up mud and chew on slime and help it all flourish. It's an entire ecosystem. Carefully balanced and tended too. I don't know anything about plants or gardening so I have to make up the rules as I'm figuring them out.

I won't rehash the whole episode but the whole thing really gets across that she is at once the garden and the gardener, every single part. The metaphor of the garden, of growing plants and flowers and hoping for the best, figuring it out as you go, feels SO in-line with what we see of her in the main episodes.

Back to my point, the Staff are integral parts of the Hotel. How could you have a Hotel without Staff to run it? They are instruments whose tones and timbres affect the sound of the night's composition.

They are her, but they are also themselves, too. The reason they can individuate is to allow for new variations, new shapes and forms, a new angle to look from or new idea to explore. I realize this paragraph runs the risk of getting meta very very quickly but I don't know how else to explain my thoughts here. In-universe, the Hotel Herself made these constructs, but if they were all the same, they'd be only darkness!

It at once excites and frustrates her when their tensions come to a head. She tries to bond with the Manager and the two ABSOLUTELY DO NOT see eye to...eye...The Owner goes completely off the rails in his breakdown. Even the Lobby Boy sides with the Manager and is starting to show signs now of getting a backbone.

The Hotel takes on her own roles, then, in responding to them. Becomes at once the workplace and the workplace CEO who is so obscenely rich they are effectively disconnected from reality and consequently the people working at the company. She is the matriarch of the family, for all of the good and bad that entails in her dynamic with the Manager. [This is why I kinda took the punishment angle in the first post of this analysis series. I don't view it that way anymore, not fully, but I feel this is an important part of their relationship as it currently stands.]

Through it all, even then, the constant push and pull is part of the fun! The contradictions, the interplay of something and nothing...I feel like I'm starting to repeat myself. On the one hand, I feel like I have so, so much more to say that I didn't even scratch the surface of yet. On the other...I feel like I've said the same things three times over.

Fitting, sure. But I'll have to end this post at some point. I'm getting tired. My vision is blurring. And on the metaphorical side, something something turning into a pile of rotten flesh on the floor something something.

One last, laaaast thing for now: I've gone over the cycle, the endless loop, the endlessness, all that good stuff. But the Hotel Herself also has linearity of her own. She goes from an it, from the Powers That Be, distant and impossible to understand, to the Hotel Herself, present and full of verve and energy and personality. She revisits her origin, but from a perspective of herself in time in which she already understands everything.

She's always been here, and all that. I just find that really poignant and I wanted to get into it more but couldn't find alllll the words I wanted.

I'd love to keep writing more stuff like this, it's been an absolute blast for me. Reading the transcripts, listening to the episodes, getting my little snippets in the word doc and writing about them...I hope you've enjoyed reading my work just as much. Like I said at the top, it means a lot even if you just, like, skimmed through. Thank you so much for your time and have a good one :-)

[kyistell]

I uh..I did a thing...tee-hee?

Ignore that it has been several days since I first posted it and I'm only JUST doing this, that's not important!!!

[starlightlightning]

🎲

kiss roulette // ACCEPTING 15. Kiss along hips cw: suggestive. its hip kisses theres no real way to make it NOT suggestive i guess elesa's collecting rocket FWBs

They had a nice, casual thing. Friendly interactions, quiet stifled giggles over the absurdity of high society life and gossip while huddling close together in the corners of ballrooms and sharing tables at fine dining establishments. And then it escalated to sharing gossip and looks over less savory things.

Less civil or normal things.

He'd helped her get rid of a body, her first body, and while a normal person would have cut ties then and there, tried their damnedest to put that dark moment behind them, she stayed. One body became more. And the queasiness that had come with the first faded. It didn't fade fully, but it was no longer at the forefront of her mind. After that though, the conversations became a bit... different.

Subtle brushes of fingers against each other's backs or arms, as experimental as they were curious. Looks across the room, unexpected closeness. Two people gauging the other's reactions, testing the waters with subtly that had finally culminated in something bolder.

Now, there they were in her apartment, the smell of iron and gunpowder on their clothes and skin. The only light came through the blinds of her window, street lights orange ribbons across the bed and floor. They stood close, Archer bent over Elesa and Elesa with her head tilted back, eyes locked and bodies flush, posed like they'd frozen in the middle of an intimate dance.

Their breath mingled, lips so close they could touch if they dared to close that extra centimeter of space. Heat crawled up her spine as she curled her fingers at the base of his neck and leaned close as if to kiss him. There was a glint of amusement in his eye, as if he'd won some unspoken contest with her making the first move.

But their lips never touched. Elesa sunk down, looking up at him through her hair and long lashes, hands sliding down his chest and tugging at his shirt. His shirt came untucked, slender fingers pushing the fabric open and away deftly before coming to rest on his thighs.

Eye contact was never broken.

In the dim lighting, his eyes were too bright, and hers too dark.

Painted lips pressed to what she could see of his hip, eyes closing softly as if to savor the contact. The sting of a bite followed the kiss, soothed quickly by a swipe of her tongue and the kiss of cool breath.

Her lips followed the curve of his hip up, raising herself on her knees, her hands curling at his belt. It wasn't intended to be an act of worship, though it certainly looked the part. She attentively followed every dip and curve of his hip with her mouth as if following a roadmap, and every time her lips found a particularly tender bit of skin, she would leave a stinging bite in her wake. It was never hard enough to leave a mark though.

She didn't have to rush through any of it. She could take as long as she wanted to get to know him. It didn't even have to progress past that.

There was no need to rush tonight.

There was no audience to entertain, no crowd to please.

It was just them, that ribbon of streetlight, and a conversation of a different sort.

[slumbergoblin]

Copying and pasting a thing I wrote in notepad: Ages: Shortly before Betrayus's disappearance/Present day in story (year born in our years) (heights)

*= OC

Kids Pac: was 3, is currently 14 (2008) (160cm, 5'3") Cylindria: was 4, is currently 15 (2007) (165cm, 5'5") Spiral: was 6, is currently 17 (2005) (180cm, 5'11") Skeebo: was 5, is currently 16 (2006) (173cm, 5'8") Elliptica: was 5, is currently 16 (2006) (175cm, 5'9")

Adults Betrayus: was 39, is currently 50 (1972) (187cm, 6'1") Stratos: was 43, is currently 54 (1968) (218cm, 7'2") *Oscar: was 41, is currently 52 (1970) (167cm, 5'6") *Mei: was 41, is currently 52 (1970) (154cm, 5'1") Zac: was 33, is currently 44 (1978) (175cm, 5'7") Sunny: was 33, is currently 44 (1978) (165cm, 5'4") Spheria: was 48, is currently 59 (1963) (184cm, 6'0") Sir C.: was 59, is currently 70 (1952) (162cm, 5'3")

(adults years apart) Betrayus and Stratos are 4 years apart Oscar and Mei are a couple of months apart Betrayus, Mei, and Oscar are 2 years apart Stratos, Mei, and Oscar are 2 years apart Zac and Sunny are a couple of months apart Betrayus, Zac, and Sunny are 6 years apart Stratos, Zac, and Sunny are 10 years apart Oscar, Mei, Zac, and Sunny are 8 years apart Zac, Sunny, and Spheria are 15 years apart Spheria and Sir C. are 11 years apart Spheria and Stratos are 5 years apart Spheria and Betrayus are 9 years apart Stratos and Sir C. are 16 years apart

[databent]

i miss my 3ds actually :( it was working fine for years and years and then i dropped it a month ago and it stopped turning on and the frustrating thing is now i cant figure out whats wrong with it. usually the issue its having (blue light, but screen flicker before it actually boots up) means one of the screens or ribbon cables is damaged... but i put the motherboard into my brothers old 3ds to see and it still wont boot :( i thought it was maybe a poor battery terminal connection issue because one was a little bent and with slight pressure on the battery i could get it to boot and stay alive for a few seconds but it has since stopped even doing that no matter how much i try to make sure everything is in its proper place. -_- since the cables didnt change anything and fiddling with the battery did let it boot for a bit it could just be that the entire battery terminal part needs to be replaced and i have access at work to the tools i would need to do that... but i cant seem to find the replacement part online -x-

[turtshell]

its almost embarrassing how much time i've dedicated to thinking about ftm 03 leo. i have so many thoughts about him

[kirexa]

I have soooo many p5 headcannons and twst is being dragged into them. Idia and Futaba have the same computer science class and they need a partner for a 'pair programming' exercise but neither of them pair up with anyone so they just get stuck with each other. It's awkward and neither of them try to talk to the other but they actually work really well together. What I'm trying to say is god knows they wouldnt interact with one another without outside help but they would be best friends I swear. If the universe forced them to interact, anyways.

[continuousmeowing]

penumbra characters have a real talent for coming up with the most batshit insane plans possible.

[afarcryfrommymain]

I like cult Aphid bc I like writing and drawing characters with something wrong with them™️ but the amount of prerequisites for him to join and STAY is a lot because he's got a lot wrong with him without also joining a cult, it takes some heavy fuckin lifting. So I'm just going over bullet points for this au in this post tbh.

1. Sister has to visit his home a little after he moves to Hope County, before the cult is at its worst and before he really properly starts at the sherrifs office

2. Has to meet John in a friendly setting prior to this and able to stand him enough to actually become his friend. (He absolutely cannot meet Sharky in this au until after its too late because it will become about them and its supposed to be JohnxAphid)

3. Big fight between him and Ruby which causes him to go over to Johns house and rant for 30 minutes about how he's got no one and he's sick of his family

(Alternatively Ruby dies but I really hate killing her just to make my boy sad in general and I don't like the idea of killing her until like, New Dawn time maybe and even then its like blaze of glory shit, its also more interesting for her to be alive in this au)

4. This prompts John to get him to join Edens gate, hes on the fence about joining but he's sort of considering, but like he's heard all the bs you have to do to join and isn't exactly jazzed at the idea of it. Hes also incredibly weary of a lot of religion because of his childhood n shit but let's not talk about that.

5. Aphid hops on the denial train when shit begins to hit the fan and Ruby trying to help gets into it with him again but this time its like "hey lil bro, I noticed your gay ass is about to join a cult so maybe don't?" And another fight and hes like "fuck it" and joins out of spite (dipshit)

6. Now he has to have good reason to stay in, which I'm genuinely not sure about outside of like, him and John start dating and he's like "fuck it" and leans into it. Like dating for long enough that it's at the "meet the family" kinda point.

7. He also can't be around for the first time Faith gets replaced because he could ignore it if it happens once (king of "not my business not my problem" in this au fr) but probably not twice

8. Continues to ride the denial train for a while but eventually when the reaping begins he doesn't really stay because he believes in it or whatever but because he just knows enough members of the project that he doesn't want to fight them anymore and kinda drops out of his job at the sherrifs office one day without 2 weeks notice or anything. (Point of no return for him, this point forward he can't be convinced to leave by anyone or anything)

9. Ruby will have to to take place of "main problem causer" this au (I finally let her do something woah) and the resistance generally sees her like "oh sorry your brother went crazy I think you gotta kill him tho??? Sorry"

10. Can't tell which Seeds die or if Aphid works really fucking hard to keep em around, John makes it because Aph is consistent in protecting people he loves in every au fr but they lose the bunker key in the process. Same with Jacob maybe.

11. Faith is difference bc Ruby is a bleeding heart with a savior complex and completely falls for the front she puts up and is like "but we gotta help her 🥺" but Faith does get to leave the project (sorta kinda, it's a whole thing) and survives

12. Dude idk if I can keep her from shooting Joseph and I kinda want her to fr like he starts doing his speech and she does not let him finish. Aphids busy with keeping his very pissed off boyfriend, the brother who looked like he was about to be cool with death, and the members he was able to get to safe. He doesn't even realize he straight forgot about Joseph til its too late.

13. Ruby does a broadcast about Joseph and asks Aphid one last time to come back but he's all in now and probably isnt gonna back out anytime soon. He still goes to confront her and since Aphid might as well be a raid boss theres a big show down between the two of them. They're fighting and Ruby gets really close to killing him but she hesitates because "fuck that's my brother, I raised him, I love him, this is so fucked"

14. In the minutes she hesitates the collapse comes. It's late, but it happens and Aphid just bolts to the bunker he had holed up with John in up until that point. Can't decide who Ruby's bunker buddy is. Could stick her with the Edens Gate people and have fun new issues but who knows.

That's the broad strokes though, probably won't write anything for this past a one shot or two if I feel like it but I thought it'd be fun to lay it all out like tism

[stargazerdali]

vent post, read it if you want I guess but I am not very nice to myself

at the end of my mf rope rn and I gotta get it out. I have fucked up, in either large or small ways, every single thing I have done in the past month. Literally every single thing. We do not want to do things anymore because we haven't successfully done a thing since like. Mid June.

It would be one thing if it was like. New stuff. I can mostly handle being bad at something I've never done before. But we are fucking up at shit we do literally all the time.

I am One (1) more mistake from turning into the local wailing banshee in the woods.

[nats-revival]

nsfw ! — thinking about ex!ellie with a marking kink. she just couldnt help herself when you ended up back at her place. and obviously youve been with other people since her, but she fucking hated the thought, loathed it even. shes fucking you so good (the both of you knew this but youd never tell her this), her strap hitting your g-spot has your eyes rolling.

ellie wouldve been holding you close while sinking her teeth into any part of your body she could. your neck, your shoulders, your collarbone. it feels like shes all over you all at once. shes grunting softly while shes listening to those oh so pretty noises she enjoys so much. she sinks her teeth into your skin one more time for good measure while you’re on the brink of your orgasm. it was hard enough to draw blood, and she laps it up with no problem. while you’re cumming for her, she smiles, but it wasnt a content one.

she admires her work for a second, running her hand across the marks while you were catching your breath. “i wonder how long itll take before you come running back to me again after saying youre ’done with me’.” she jeers, making you roll your eyes.

aestras notes: i will not be elaborating on this until further notice. 😇 i didnt proofread this too much so please dont kill me if theres grammatical errors. 💔💔 writing to you while i am also not wearing my effing glasses!!!!! i hope it was good at least tho xx. rbs/comments r appreciated cause im def chronically online and will respond in like thirty seconds!! 😜

[prodbyton]

🎀cw. smut +18 mdni, dom!eunseok, situationship!eunseok, sub!reader, fem!reader, yn making eunseok jealous on purpose, yn is a little tipsy, degradation (barely), rough sex, protected sex (yay), other idols mentioned for plot hehe. not edited so if theres any errors look away :3

⭐️ wc. 3.5k (OOPS)

🎧 in the closet michael jackson

“eunseok, what are you doing here?” you almost walked past him, doing a double take once you recognized the tall male resting on the wall of the crowded club.

“i could ask you the same thing,” he looks at you up and down, grinning slightly when you shifted under his gaze.

“im here with my friends”

“mhm, and where are they now?” he questions you when he realizes that no one he’s seen you around before was accompanying you through your stroll around the establishment, and knowing you were probably drunk he didn’t want a stranger to be the one to get your attention.

“wony left with her boyfriend, and ryujin is talking to some girl over there” you pout, moving closer to the boy and placing your hand on his shoulder, he looks down at your face then to where your hand rests, trying to get a good idea of your sobriety before he chooses how he’ll continue the conversation.

“feeling left out?” he raises a brow and you nod, hand going to his chest, playing with the lining of the leather jacket that covered his body that you were craving to see. “why don’t you go find some guys to hit on?”

“thats what i’m doing right now, isn’t it?” you look up at him, catching his eyes before he fights back a chuckle. you bite the inside of your lip, watching him react the way you like. getting him nervous was a skill only you had, no matter how he tried to fight it, he felt a shiver run through his body whenever you touched him.

“you’re drunk, y/n. lemme take you home?” he grabs your hand that drags from his chest to his shoulder soothingly. at least that’s what he tells himself, trying to ignore your attempts in seducing him.

“im not drunk, just horny” oh. he’s not surprised by your bluntness but its good to know you want him this bad in your sober state.

“i should get you home then. wait for me here while i bring my car around, pretty”

it was honestly perfect that eunseok was at the club at the same time as you, you planned on texting him when you were ready to leave. if you were lucky (like now,) you hoped he would take you back to your place or his and fuck you like he always did if you were in your right mind. sometimes you two wouldn’t even make it there and would just fuck in his car, you were too captivating for the boy and when you leave the house in your revealing outfits, how could he resist you? after all you called him of all people, and that fills his chest with pride.

after a night of drinking and dancing with other men, you would always call eunseok to take you home. the thought of you grinding on other men and possibly doing more with them while you weren’t under his supervision makes his skin crawl but he won’t admit it, you two aren’t together and its not his place. you just want a good fuck, and eunseok will always be there to give it to you.

once he’s out of your line of vision you try to find ryujin, going to let her know that you’re leaving and that you’re safe.

“your little boyfriend coming to get you again?” she gives you that look she always has when eunseok is the topic of conversation. there was more to your little arrangement with him that she was able to sense, even if you two deny it. the way he would spend the night with you after you two had sex, the way he would buy you food and anything else if you asked, the way he’s always conveniently free every friday night to come pick you up from whatever party or club you were at, he was always there. you two were friends with benefits, so he’s just being a good friend. a friend that fucks you absolutely stupid. a friend that looks at you with hearts in his eyes.

“he’s not my boyfriend, and he was already here, which saved me a desperate text” you roll your eyes and do a little shoulder dance, giving her a hint on what tonight’s activities will be.

“mhm, have fun babes”

you finally walk out of the doors, the brisk air of the night hitting your sweaty skin makes you shiver as you find eunseoks car. he leans on the door of the passengers seat, staring at everyone leaving the club and looking for you. he watches the way you walk to his car, studying your frame and focusing on the way your legs look in that dress. he also takes note of the way your face contorts in discomfort from your heels, making sure to remember to carry you up to your apartment once you two get there.

“you’ve officially hit #1 on my roster, for being such a gentleman” you joke as you stand in front of him, and he raises a brow.

“who was #1 before? and what was my ranking?”

“definitely in my top 10,” you pretend to think, getting eunseok riled up called for a great fucking once you got home. “and i’d say #1 was probably… sunwoo”

“baby, we both know sunwoo couldn’t possibly fuck you nearly as well as i do. and who do you call whenever you’re horny after a party?” he grabs your chin with his hand to keep your eyes on him, and you press your thighs together at his assertiveness. you almost have to hold back a whimper, he’s just so hot. “thought so. now get in the car, it’s cold”

the car ride was comfortable. eunseok let you have aux per usual, and he smiled to himself at the way you sang along to every song. he parks his car next to yours — a spot you reserved just for him, a spot you told him was just a regular guest space so it wouldn’t go to his head. so he wouldn’t get attached — and he runs to the passengers side of the car to open your door, and once you’re out of the car he’s picking you up. you yelp at the action but you’re thankful, your heels were staring to burn from the time you spent standing in your heels.

eunseok knows your apartment inside and out, in the darkness he’s able to navigate the two of you to your bedroom and place you delicately on your bed. you sit on the edge and lean on the palms of your hands while the boy turns on your bedside lamp, keeping the room at a comfortable brightness to keep you in the mood.

“look so pretty tonight baby, who were you trying to impress?” he lifts your leg to take off your shoes, caressing the skin of your calf as he slides them off your feet.

“sunwoo” theres a playful glint in your voice and eunseok stills. he gives you a look, one you know means that you pushed one of his buttons. you like that look, cuz it means he’s gonna fuck you into the mattress if you keep pressing it.

“wrong answer. wanna try again?” he smiles, giving you a chance to take back your (unfunny) joke.

“wanna fuck me?” you push your chest up into the air, and eunseok tsks at your behavior. you were so desperate for him, going as far as getting him jealous and irritated just so he can fuck you.

“keep acting like a brat and see where that gets you” he raises his brow as a warning, and you think now you’ll drop your little bratty act and be a good girl for him, but why not push his buttons one more time?

“gets me far with sun-” you can barely get his name out when eunseok his pushing your thighs open and leaving a sharp slap on the skin of your inner thigh, causing you to yelp. he keeps his hand there as he brings his body down so his lips are by your ear and you shiver, his thigh just an inch away from your core. you want to shift your body so you can make contact, but eunseoks fingers are digging into your thigh to hold you down.

“don’t know why you like pissing me off, just wanna get fucked like a slut, huh?” his words go through your ear and straight to your clit, and you have to once again stop yourself from whimpering.

“want it so bad, seok”

he hums, finally deciding to give you what you want. his lips attach to your neck, leaving hungry open mouthed kisses across the skin while his hand grips your thigh tighter. his other hand is traveling up your waist up your your chest. he gropes your tits, and you sigh at the feeling of his fingers making contact with your nipple. he doesn’t say anything to you, just groping your body.

taking his mouth off of your neck, he removes both hands off your body and you whine at the loss. he takes in your already fucked out state, smiling to himself at how easy it was to get you worked up. he pushes your body down onto the bed, not too rough but hard enough for your weak body to fall easily. thats before he grabs your waist hard, flipping you onto your stomach.

“ass up, baby” he taps your thigh, and you quickly find your balance to sit on your knees, keeping your face in the pillows how he likes. he mutters a good girl while he lets his hand lay on the swell of your ass, bringing it down the arch in your back before bringing it back up. he repeats the action, this time letting his fingers catch the fabric of the tight dress you wore, bringing it down so it bunches up at your stomach. he groans at the pretty lace panties you wore under your dress, wet patch prominent on them as you wiggle your ass in the air as a hint you want him to touch you.

“you made a mess in your panties” he coos at you as his fingers slowly hook onto the hem of the garment, pulling it down and seeing the string of your arousal that clung to you. you whine, pushing your face deeper into the pillow in embarrassment. eunseok really was the only one who could make you like this — completely soaked through your panties and have you so submissive despite your fiery personality. your pride and common sense left your body when it came to him. you didn’t care how stupid you looked begging for attention from a man who wasn’t even your boyfriend, you didn’t care how your friends would tell you to leave him alone if you two weren’t going to make it official, you couldn’t care when he was always there for you regardless of your arrangement, you couldn’t care when he makes you feel this good even when he’s barely touching you.

he brings his thumb to your core, gathering the slick thats dripping out of you before pushing it inside of you and you gasp, body jolting at the contact. he takes his thumb out of you and drags it down to your clit, pressing on the nub forcing a moan out of you. his finger circles your clit a few times and you can feel yourself getting wetter, and your body feels hot.

you grind against his finger, and he presses harder. “just fuck me already”

“gotta stretch you out first pretty girl,”

“dont care, want- need you now” eunseok groans at your eagerness. he knows how much you struggle to take him fully if he doesn’t prep you first, but with you pissing him off all night maybe you can struggle a bit.

he steps off the bed to get himself undressed, nearly tripping as he steps out of his pants. he grabs his wallet out of his jean pocket and pulls out a condom, tearing the packet open with his teeth and sliding the condom on. he hisses, he hasn’t touched his cock at all this whole night, too focused on how jealous he was and helping get you off.

getting back on the bed, he pumps himself a few times before placing his hand on your ass, lining up his cock with your hole. he presses in slightly, tip prodding at your entrance but not enough for you to feel him.

“seok-”

“show me how bad you want it” grabbing a fistful of your ass, he lets go to bring his hand back down harshly on the skin. you cry out, body jerking forward before eunseok is holding you in place.

you move your arms into a better position, moving your head from off the pillow so you could look behind you. you rest on your elbows, bringing one arm behind you so you could reach eunseok. the tip of his cock was so close to pushing inside of you, and when you push back onto him it almost gets fully swallowed by your wet heat. without his support its hard for you to get him inside of you fully and you whine, pushing back harder onto him in an attempt to get him inside of you.

he wants to laugh and tell you how pathetic you look trying to fuck yourself on him, dick not even inside you and you’re moaning. he wants to tease you and tell you that this is why he preps you. wordlessly, he pushes his tip inside of you fully. the both of you let out sounds of pleasure as your cunt takes him in.

it takes you a minute to relax around him, letting him push all the way inside of you. you feel so full, the pain from the stretch subsiding and you crave more. you move forward, letting him slide out of you almost completely until just the tip is inside of you before you press your ass to him, squeezing around his cock as he bottoms out again. your body trembles under his hold, the way he stays still with his hands on your ass, and he grips the flesh tighter each time you move.

he lets you get yourself off on his cock, giving you words of encouragement to keep going and slapping your ass each time your pace faltered. you felt like you were on cloud nine, but it still wasn’t enough. you couldn’t get him deep enough, and you weren’t moving fast enough for your own and his liking.

“fuck me, eunseok”

that's all he needed to move one of his arms to push your lower body back into the mattress, grabbing both your arms to put them behind your back and snap his hips forward. he fucks you with purpose, your body is weak under him as he builds a fast pace. you can feel the way his dick stretches you out with each pull, and you can’t help the way you clench around him each time his hips kiss the skin of your ass.

“pussy so tight for me, just for me right?” he lets his jealousy peek through, moaning and leaning over you to press his cock deeper inside of you. your eyes roll to the back of your head at the sensation, you open your mouth to moan but nothing comes out.

“yes, just for you- all for you” your voice is slightly muffled by the pillow, but eunseok can hear you and he’s satisfied with your answer. he thrusts harder, and you can feel the pressure of your orgasm building up in your stomach. “close, so close”

he could feel it, he knows once you can barely keep your eyes open and you cant let out any sounds that you’re going to cum soon, like you’re holding your breath anticipating the orgasm he’ll be forcing out of you.

except he’s not fucking you anymore. he’s pulled out of you and let your body fall limp against the mattress, body trembling and the shock of being deprived of sweet realease finally comes over you. your tense muscles stop you from sitting up and grabbing at him, all you can do is turn your body around so you’re on your back, weak no’s and please leave your mouth as eunseok watches you.

denying you an orgasm was evil, he knew it. but you deserved it tonight. and honestly, he was going to cum soon as well and needed a breather. he can never last long when he fucks you from behind, and fucking you in that dress — that goddamn dress you wore tonight, he swears he would’ve taken you in front of everyone in that club.

once he feels like he’s tortured you enough, he spreads your legs open, inching closer to you and lifting one of your legs over his shoulder. he holds onto the flesh of your thigh tight, and he uses his other hand to guide his cock back into your hole. it’s quick, and you almost scream with how deep he feels in this position.

he’s so pretty, focused on where your bodies connect as he finds the pace that makes you react the best. you stare at his face, the way it contorts in pleasure as he tries to get you to your peak. then you look at the way the muscles on his stomach contract, how you see his toned stomach glisten in the dim light of your room each time he pushed back into you.

“this pretty pussy is all for me right?” his free hand moves to your clit and you moan loudly as his fingers rub tight circles around the swollen bud. your throat was dry as you tried to get a word out.

“y-yours, seok-” you had a hand in the sheets, fingers turning white as the other goes to the back of eunseoks neck. you hold him close to your face, body bending almost uncomfortably but you felt too good to care.

“you like when i fuck you like this?” his words were warm against your lips, eyes locked in on yours as he talked to you. you were so close you could almost taste it.

“love it, love your cock, love it so mu-mngh” you were cut off by a rough kiss to your lips, his tongue swirling in your mouth once before he pulled away, face still close to yours as he looked in your eyes.

“i love you”

shit. fuck.

you didn't have enough time to process the words that left his lips before you were cumming, moaning right in eunseoks face and he pressed his lips to yours again. you tried your best to kiss back but your vision was going blurry and you were fading in and out of consciousness. he lifts his body up so he can fuck you faster, fingers still on your clit as your pussy spasmed around him. his orgasm hit him not too long after, hips stilling while he filled the condom up with his cum.

he took his fingers off you, pulling out of you and letting your body rest for a moment before he has to clean you up. he sits there, realizing that he just told you he loves you mid fuck. he doesn’t know what he should do — nothing he could say could help his case. what if you don't feel the same way? what if you did but he says the wrong thing? he doesn’t want to fuck this up. he’d rather have you like this than to not have you at all.

you were asleep now, eunseok wiped his face with his hands before getting up. he rid himself of the condom he wore and got a towel to clean you up with, shushing you softly when you whimper at the sensitivity. he put his boxers back on before walking out of your room, making way to your kitchen to get you some water. he sits you up and makes you drink it, telling you that you were so good for him and that you need your rest.

once you both were cleaned up, eunseok gets into bed with you and spoons you under the covers. before you let your fatigue take over, you let your brain recover the words said before you blanked out.

“did you mean it?” your voice was soft, a part of you hoped the boy was still awake, so he could tell you what he meant. but another part of you wished he was still asleep, you didn’t want to bear the emotions of being rejected right before you went to sleep. not while he was still here, in bed with you.

“of course i meant it. now go to sleep, pretty girl. we’ll talk in the morning”

a/n: when i tell yall this was supposed to be at most 1.5k but i got carried away… eunseok makes me crazy. i hope you guys enjoyed it <33

[memser]

mcr blogger dash in 2025

🪳 buggerard

still so much debate about sexualizing gerards moans in Self-Flagellant but no ones talking about why in that muffled intro mikey is asked to leave the studio??

#im telling you something happened #frerard solos dni

🌫️ coquettegee Follow

yes in the new doc lindsey had any pronouns on her intro card but so did gerard. i think they just used his as a template and its some sort of error

🔁 singleangelicnote

all your posts are still using he/him for gerard and this sounds terribly gendercrit get help op

🔁 coquettegee

i see him as more of a femboy type and i have since dd, don't try to police me

🔁 kondemnedkadaver

???

#CAN WE KILL THIS GUY

🐕 omgee

ROSY HAS A SISTER!!!!!!!!

#WORLD PEACE

🎙️amptits

"november 22nd of 2024 right before the teaser dropped" uh oh guys

Anonymous asked

when will you people address the themes of necrophilia in the limited vinyl comic

🪨 fyeahfoundationsofdecay

sorry i didnt have 200 dollars and i dont care

#the larger mcr conscious has forgotten he jerked it to horror movies

🌄 infectionpiece

a bralette and the comfort flannel

#i hauve

🧘 clergy-xxx

I have some. bad news. Frank did not

yt.be/78hskUi83Hn2nb67mdns00

🤹‍♀️ cryptclown

10 MINUTE AD WALL FOR THAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT I THOUGHT PEOPLE WERE JUST JOKING. OR INSANE

✴️ grifties Follow

selling ltd edition frank iero binder!! it still has the skeleton decals and it still glows in most low light. from the first run with that chemical they had to recall so probably don't wear it without a shirt on top or if you don't have insurance lol. 30 bucks just dm me.

🧘crypt-xxx

i respect the hustle BUT WE HAVE STOP RESELLING THE BIOHAZARD MERCH

🦕 toro-saurus

October 25th 2022

RAY😍😍😍😍 RAY TORO🤗🤗🤗🤯🤯🤯🤯RAAYYYYYY

🔁 toro-saurus

omg my old post i was so correct

#meeee when the new single dropped #how does he find the time truly

🤺 singleangelicnote

Guys since why does that new pope follow Gerard's private account on Globeus theres only like 80 people on there she HAS to know

#THE GAY POPE???

🪳 buggerard

dude i lost my implant magnet 🥲 im using my old touchscreen to post on here

#gawd im having swarm tour livestream flashbacks

🧘 clergy-xxx

I actually went to a few shows during danger days and mikey would often just turn around during the destroya incidents. theres video on youtube if you can get past the ad walls

🤹‍♀️ cryptclown

oh okay super awesome!!! so mikey leaving during antics isnt new. did frank leave too?

🪨 fyeahfoundationsofdecay

does anyone remember when the heavn photos came out. i had a job then and i saw them literally a year later

🔁 buggerard

november 22nd of 2024 right before the teaser dropped

#wild night to be online tbh

🌬️ mesmer

i got concussed what happened sunday

🔁 mesmer

THEY DID WHAT

[stevie-petey]

oh also,,, whenever you wanna write. chap 6 steve & robin pov blurb because i am so sure steve would be going on and on about bug once she left so my soul needs that thank you <3

im kicking myself idk why i didnt include this scene in the chapter like its PERFECT for what i have planned later but ,,, for now all i can do is make it a blurb n tell people to read it lmao

enjoy <3

"it didnt matter that you were an ass. i was still... obsessed with you." robins confession hangs in the air. her back is pressed against steves as they lay on the floor, bound together. his eye stings and his nose is numb and crusted with dried blood. he isnt sure why shes telling him this.

"even though all of us losers pretend to be above it all, we still just wanna be popular. accepted. normal."

the rope around steves wrists tense. he clenches his fists and bites the inside of his swollen cheek. acceptance. he thought he had that, once. when he was sixteen with a crowd of people who wouldve done anything for his attention.

now hes eighteen and the crowds bruises still tinge his body.

"if it makes you feel any better, having those things isnt all that great. seriously." it took him a long time to learn that. to recognize that his acceptance was merely a precedence. it wasnt real friendship. he wouldnt learn this until he met you, until you taught it to him. "it just baffles me. everything that people tell you is important, everything that people say you should care about, its all just... bullshit."

bullshit. nancy taught him that, too.

"its all just bullshit, it was so obviously bullshit. i was an idiot for not realizing it sooner," steve bites the inside of is cheek again. somehow, his lips remained untouched when he was being beaten by the russians. your lips still linger on his. "you know, the only person who saw through my bullshit was y/n. one day, before we knew about monsters and russian lairs, she said that she knew i wasnt a bad person. it... it stuck with me. here she was, y/n henderson, telling me i wasnt so bad."

"and then...?" robin is almost too afraid to press him further. shes never seen him like this, vulnerable and open. she didnt know that his history with you went beyond just a summer fling.

steve nudges his head back and sighs. "i messed up. i... i hurt people. people she cared about."

robin frowns. you wouldnt forgive someone so easily for that. theres more to what steve is saying, she just cant figure out what. "she must really love you, then. if she forgave you."

"i dont know if she loves me, but i know that she believes in me. sees someone worth putting up with." he huffs, he cant believe he will never see you again. he hates that he will never be able to thank you for seeing a version of him that no one else could. "it wasnt until i messed up that i realized she saw something in me. its ironic, isnt it? but i guess you gotta mess up to figure things out, right?"

he had to mess up to realize that he loved you, too.

"i hope so. i feel like my whole life has been one big error." robin admits. its the least she could do, offer steve a piece of herself in return for what hes offered her.

an unattractive snort escapes steve. he laughs, and his shoulders shake against robins. he understands exactly what she means. "yup."

"god, i wonder how y/n does it."

"does what?"

robin pauses, worries that she might reveal too much. but its steve. if theyre going to die together, he deserves to know. he has to know. "shes always able to see the error in people and love them anyways."

steve is quiet. he lets what she said settle over him. its what he loves the most about you. how youve always managed to see the good in people, even in someone as cruel as billy. he hadnt known that robin noticed this kindness in you, too.

she seems to understand you in a way only he and jonathan do.

"you know, i wish id known you in clicks class." its a peace offering. an extension of himself to robin for caring about you the way he does. no one really seems to be able, despite how easy steve finds it to be.

"yeah?"

"really, i do. maybe you couldve helped me pass the class." he breathes out, the thought of all he couldve done differently will always haunt him. king steve is dead, but the persona is a ghost he will never be able to get rid of. "maybe instead of being here, id be with y/n on some romantic getaway. maybe you wouldve given me the courage to do what i shouldve done sooner."

robin doesnt say anything. she turns her face away, presses her cheek against the concrete surface.

"robin?"

she swallows. "yeah. yeah, maybe. you wouldnt have been stuck slinging ice cream with me like some smuck."

steve shakes his head. hes worried hes said the wrong thing. "hey, dont get me wrong. i enjoyed being your smuck. it was fun while it lasted."

bittersweetness creeps upon robins face. she smiles, though its a sad one. shes going to die with the understanding of why youve fallen so hard for steve harrington. "yeah. it was."

then the doors burst open and the russian find them.