#oh i never thought this day would come i literally forgot i sent them to her and the way i shot out of ed like ohhhh

[maraczeks]

+

[srjlvr]

꒦꒷ enhypen ! and your infamous ship with them<3

idol-ot7!enhypen x idol-fem!reader .. fluff .. no warnings<3 not proofread!!

read pt.1 here!! — since you all liked it<3

ε ї з — heeseung

as if his heart eyes for you at the interview weren’t enough, heeseung started talking about you a lot in his lives, which only adds to your fan’s delusions.

he’d go on and talk about his day in his lives when all of a sudden he’d turn on some music and the first song he’d pick would be one of your songs.

“this song is so good, i listen to it almost every day, this artist y/n is really talented i really love her songs” he’d say with a big smile.

and oh, this is definitely not the end, he’d also go on and rant about the first time meeting you and tell them about those times when you bumped into each other, as if he’s telling his best friend about a new crush he has.

“i was walking down the aisle when i accidentally bumped into her, she was in a bit rush so she apologized quickly and ran away, it was so funny i didn’t know what to do” he’d giggle, “after that she saw me again and even got me a snack, that’s cute”

with delusional fans, comes the delusional tweets of fans, and the conspiracies about heeseung having a crush too (which might be true)

“if i wasn’t so sure before, now im more than 100% sure that this boy is having a crush on her, and i’m all in for it!!”

ε ї з — jay

a week after the valentine’s day story blew up, jay went on a live again, just casually talking with his fans that he loves and appreciates so much.

jay was ranting about a cake his mom made him,and explained how cool the design she did looked, to the point where he actually took his phone and scrolled through his gallery to show them a picture.

usually, when idols show their phones on lives or such, they’d turn off their notifications, only this time jay was so into it that he forgot to do it.

at the same time you, being the good old friend you are, responded to a text he sent you a few minutes ago, even before he started the live.

as he was showing his picture on his phone to the fans he also got a notification from you, it was a matter of a few seconds for fans to realize your contact name, and a few seconds for jay to realize he’s doomed.

jay tried to laugh it off but it was too late. now even those who didn’t ship you two and had doubts about it are left speechless.

“i admit i didn’t believe the valentine’s day story and their ship, but now knowing they text each other and probably do every day too? YES!!”

ε ї з — jake

your old meet up with jake was actually filmed for a short vlog, you both work under the same company so it was pretty common to meet up and get it filmed.

a few days after the scandal blew up, a really short vlog of the both of you got released.

fans rushed to watch it and see any clue of jake since it was rumored he was going to be there. the short film got around 100k+ in no time!

fans felt like swooning whenever they watched your interactions, you and jake even spoke in english, considering the fact that you both are foreigners and feel comfortable speaking in english.

jake never looked more shy than when he was literally standing next to you, holding his signed album and just waiting for the right moment to give it to you.

if you’d ask any fan that watched this short vlog, they’d probably tell you they’re 100% sure that something is up with the both of you. the way that he looked at you was something fans never saw before, and the way that you looked at him was as if you finally got to talk with your crush after years of crushing over him.

“i NEVER thought i’d be able to see both of my ults in one frame together!! i bet you a million dollars that they’re dating and fight me if they’re not!! it seemed like they tried to hide it but it looked too overact”

ε ї з — sunghoon

everyone’s favorite ambassadors!! your couple photoshoot got so famous that even people who never heard of the two of you refused to believe you’re not dating.

on your first photoshoot together, you and sunghoon did some funny tiktok challenges that got super famous to the point that people started making edits out of them.

ever since then, each time you’d see each other you’d make a tiktok together, wether it’s a dance challenge or just a very trendy tiktok hence, it wasn’t such a surprised that enhypen’s tiktok account and your tiktok account was filled with tiktoks of the both of you together.

fans brought up new conspiracies of the both of you going on short dates and filming tiktoks together, a whole new chaos was created.

if you thought these tiktoks were enough then think again because not only your tiktok was filled with the both of you, but you also made sure to take many many photos and post it on instagram.

i think out of all ships, yours and sunghoons shippers are being fed so well honestly and they never ever complain about it.

“i never heard about these two until i saw their photoshoots!! you can’t tell me they’re not dating?? and we get too many contents of them two im fully convinced they’re just dropping hints”

ε ї з — sunoo

new years awards came in fast, and all fans were looking forward to collab stages, it was rumored that a lot of 3rd gen and 4th gen are going to perform together, but fans never ever expected you and sunoo to be on one stage together.

him dancing to your performance in one award got so famous that fans even made memes about it, like “me when my favorite song is playing in one store” and more!

the thing is, this stage included only you and him, which made the fans go even more crazy. you and sunoo? on one stage? all alone? fans hoped so bad for that and it happened.

you and sunoo ate the performance, it included a lot of skinship and difficult moves that even fans who tried to cover the collab stage complained about it being really hard.

a stage between a female idol and male idol isn’t something that’s very popular lately (sadly!!!) so it was such a surprise that you and sunoo actually did it.

king and queen of kpop confirmed! your new ship nickname was formed in no time and other fans who watched your stage was mesmerized by how good you two look together.

“IM GOING CRAZY RN!! sunoo and y/n, boyfriend and girlfriend on one stage AND THEY ATE THAT PERFORMANCE!! imagine being on stage with your partner they’re so iconic for that!!”

ε ї з — jungwon

as weeks went by with you and jungwon being MCs, fans got used to see the both of you together every week, it became a routine for them to open their laptop and stream your live, they’ll always find the time to watch the two of you.

when your contract ended, fans were devastated and didn’t want to move on, they even considered to stop watching the show without having the two of you.

even in your last day, you and jungwon looked so sad and unmotivated which made fans even more sad than before. the memories you created will always stay in the show’s history and fans’ hearts.

i guess both of your fans got super lucky because your companies were smart enough to sign the both of you up to a new variety show!!

new content of the both of you together?? in one variety show?? your fans can’t be thankful enough honestly.

fans were going mad watching the both of you being too comfortable around each other, basically doing everything together and staying really close to each other.

“anyone else waiting for them to accidentally expose their relationship on this variety show? come on!! its too obvious they’re dating!!”

ε ї з — riki

ever since that time the both of you met accidentally, the coffee shop became super famous, mostly people who waits to catch the both of you together are going there.

ever since then, fate has its own ways of getting to you, and each time you’re going to buy coffee in local stores, you happen to see him too.

you once uploaded a photo of your coffee to your weverse account and fans noticed a very familiar figure, who just happened to upload a photo of his coffee with you in the background.

and if that wasn’t enough, you were caught by fans together in the same place and this time, even shared a really long conversation. it became a usual thing for the both of you to meet up whenever you’re off to buy coffee, as if you know where to go if you want to meet up.

fans refuse to believe that this is all a coincidence since the evidences are always there, you’ve been seen around each other too many times, even in photos you yourself uploaded.

at one point you just decided to upload a photo together and tease your fans a bit, and it actually worked because the next day you became trending as the coffee couple.

“coffee couple has done it again! do you think their dates must have coffee in it? like what if they go to watch a movie? popcorn and coffee? anyways im fully convinced they’re always planning it and we’re just here to watch”

••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @ohdudehesflirting @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @dhriti-stories @ariadores @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 @moons-v @s00buwu @hoonheepretty @lovelovelovebts (bold means cannot be tagged)

[lucy90712]

Can you write a prank for gavi? Reader wearing a real madrid jersey and gavi getting sad and a lot of fluff after? Thank you!

For months on end Pablo has been pranking me and every time I say I'm going to get him back but he always manages to prank me again before I can. He's done everything from put fake spiders in the house to wiping off the kisses I give him to see my reaction. They are all relatively harmless pranks he never goes too far but still he's definitely winning this prank war if you can even call it that and I'm desperate to get on the scoreboard. 

My friends have been suggesting different things I can do to get back at Pablo but they are all either pranks he's already done on me or the same idea just slight different but that's not what I'm going for. I want something that he hasn't done to me so he won't see it coming but when he's either done every prank or has definitely seen them and has them in the planning stage things are difficult. Then the day came I saw a tiktok with the perfect prank first I sent it to my friends to see what they thought and they loved it although they warned me that if I do it I'll be coming in strong but that's exactly what I want I need to get him back properly. It didn't take long for me to put my plan in action within a few hours I had the one thing I needed for the prank on its way to me. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Today is the day my package I've been waiting for finally arrived today and I wasn't about to wait so the prank I have planned is going straight ahead full steam. Opening the package I saw the white shirt and then I saw the back with ‘Bellingham’ written on it. Putting it on felt wrong the shirt felt itchy on my skin but that was definitely all in my head as I knew I wasn't supposed to have this let alone have it on but it will be worth it to see the look on Pablo's face. In the tiktok I saw this woman had a Man City shirt on as her boyfriend was a Man Utd fan and his reaction was priceless, the second I saw it I knew this would be the perfect way to get back at Pablo. I know it's slightly different as Pablo plays for Barça and Madrid are their main rivals but I don't think it's too far it's not like I'm actually going to ever support Madrid other than the few minutes of my life I spend pranking him. 

After trying it on I took the shirt off until I heard Pablo's car pulling up in the driveway which is when I put it back on and started watching a video on YouTube about how Madrid will be unbeatable with mbappe just to really grind Pablo's gears. He came in and called for me so I told him I was in the living room so that's where he came as soon as he put his shoes away. First he saw what I was watching and he seemed confused but he wasn't mad yet. As he came closer the tv was distracting him so much that he sat down next to me before realising what I was wearing. That's when he actually started to look mad he almost seemed disgusted with me.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" He seethed 

"Oh I forgot I put this on" I laughed to seem unbothered 

"Better question why are you wearing it?" He asked 

"Just felt like it" I said nonchalantly 

"Wait does it say Bellingham on the back y/n you have it be kidding me" he said using my full name which he literally never does anymore 

"You aren't really making a big deal out of this are you it's just a shirt Pablo" I said 

"You have to be kidding me it's not just a shirt you know you're dating a Barcelona player which means you can't support Real Madrid as in our main rivals if you seriously don't see any issue here then you aren't the person I thought you were" he said walking away 

Before I knew it he'd gone upstairs and I was sat on my own feeling awful about what I'd done. I wanted to get him back I didn't want to hurt him so deeply and change his opinion of me that was never the aim. The aim was never to hurt his feelings he's never done anything like that when pranking me and now I feel like I've taken it too far and he's going to hate me. I left him alone for a few minutes before I couldn't keep going any longer and I had to tell him it was supposed to be a prank and not actually hurt him. 

When I went upstairs he was sat on our bed scrolling on his phone, he must've heard me coming as he looked up but then went straight back to looking at his phone. He was definitely mad at me but not in the way I am after he scares the life out of me by putting a fake spider in my mug in the morning he was properly mad at me. I tried to sit next to him on the bed but he moved further over and turned away from me. That really hurt I guess I was stupid to think me wearing a Real Madrid shirt wouldn't be such a deal breaker but still him ignroning me felt awful. 

"I'm sorry this was supposed to just be a prank I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or betray your trust" I said honestly 

"Why did you think this would be a good idea?" He asked finally speaking to me 

"I don't know you've done so many pranks on me and I wanted to get you back and I saw a tiktok where someone else did it and I thought it would be a good way to get you back but I realise now that it was stupid" I admitted 

"You don't really like Real Madrid right or Bellingham" he questioned 

"No of course not you know I've grown up as a barca fan and I'm sure Bellingham's a nice guy but I've never met him and I don't plan on ever talking to him I support you and the team and that's it" I said 

"Can you take the shirt off I hate looking at it" he said 

He didn't even give me time to respond before he took the shirt off for me and threw it across the other side of the room so it was as far away as possible. He then grabbed one of his shirts from his wardrobe and put it on me which brought back a bit of a smile on his face. Now that I had his name and number on my back he let me get close to him and he pulled me into his arms. Everything felt a lot better now that I didn't have that stupid shirt on and my boyfriend had his arms around me. He didn't seem as mad anymore and I wondered if he was pranking me by pretended to be so mad when he realised what I was doing but that doesn't really matter. I've definitely learnt my lesson not to prank Pablo. 

“I’m really sorry” I said again 

“It’s ok I forgive you just don’t you dare ever wear that hideous thing again” he said half joking 

“Never I’ll only wear shirts with your name from now on” I said 

“Good now you can make it up to me by staying here and cuddling all evening” he said 

“I can definitely do that” I smiled 

He held me even tighter and pressed a kiss to my cheek but that wasn’t good enough for me so I leaned over and kissed his lips. I gave him a couple more kisses before settling back into his arms some could watch a movie together. 

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Ngl getting worried that "Sparrow doesn't like Normal" thing has been said so much on the show that the actual cast forgot that isn't true ......

Hi anon! Okay first of all, this was a very cathartic ask to receive, to the point that it kind of cracked me up when I first read it, so thank you, you were so real for this. I can empathize with this sentiment (though I had no plans on voicing it) and I've felt similarly for… A while honestly.

You sent this back in December (heh. classic baba.), and while I didn't forget, honestly I intended to answer this in a manner that's a bit more. Organized but… I sort of lost sight of where I wanted to go with things, to be honest with you, and I didn't wanna leave you hanging forever! Still, a couple notes and tangentially-related thoughts…

(Oh, maybe before we get into it- I assume based on the nature of this ask that you probably read this post of mine, but perhaps I'll leave it here as additional context for anyone who happens to find themselves reading this).

Okay, in Will's case to be totally real I've never confidently felt that he realizes that it's not true? If my memory serves, the first time the idea comes up at all is in episode 17:

Which irked me a bit at the time, in part because to me it feels pretty blatantly discordant with Sparrow's characterization- in general but also since he literally says this during the dance scene:

but even more so because it feels very inconsistent with Normal's degree of shock during this same scene. All the same, for a while I could still look past it, on the basis that y'know it's a very teenage thing to make mountains out of molehills and leap to increasingly cynical conclusions the way Normal tends to do, and so perhaps it was all intentional, and as both Sparrow and Normal went through a bit of growth and development, things would slowly turn out alright. :0 A bit willfully naïve, I suppose! But what can you do.

In Anthony's case… I've actually been pretty happy with what he's given us of Sparrow for the past little while, honestly. Sigh but still now and then Anthony will say things offhandedly like this (transcribing myself from episode 47 since the transcript isn't out yet):

Anthony: (…) The only thing keeping you together is the absolute ignorance you have of the fact that maybe the only person who ever showed you any real affection in the last couple years of your life is dead, and the fact that you don't know is all that keeps you going. But the only thing that keeps me going is [ADVERTIZEMENT].

And while that joke lead-in was very funny, it's also just. Objectively not true? Like even aside from all the instances of Sparrow being very affectionate with Norm (including in the dance scene), the other teens? Lark? Rebecca???? All of them have shown Normal affection in one way or another throughout the course of the show. Like, I get that he probably mostly did it for the joke but. Eh, still rubs me the wrong way I suppose.

As for the rest of the cast… It's hard to say, and I guess less important at the end of the day. The other teens' responses to Norm in the last episode make sense for the most part given their POVs imo, so while frustrating to a degree, I can't really fault them for it. Still… Hm, in Scary's case I briefly discussed what I would sort have wanted/liked to come from her own interactions with Sparrow after episode 37 here, and tbh I suppose everything outlined there is still more or less what my ideal scenario would have looked like!

So honestly I suppose that's it anon! I could talk more but I would most definitely begin to stray off topic if I did lol. Thank you kindly for the ask! 💜

[xmimi89er]

I MADE IT! It had been two days or so since the news, but I made it!

Goodness, I only had 42, if not less, time left and there was absolutely nothing. It was impossible to fix it, especially on a ridiculous amount of time. So, I prayed for a miracle. I asked for one because only a miracle could fix this—there was no way to get around it or over it and it just did not seem possible at all. AT ALL. But then, the miracle came!

A whole seven years worth of stress trying to get things together and fixed, it was done for in the matter of a press of a button. Or so I thought, for a little bit. You know when anger blinds you? Happiness did me, and I didn’t read what was sent to me that well that I forgot the last step in the whole thing.

And when did we realize that? Less than 16 hours (counting the night too) before I would have to sign up my leave.

And even crazier? I only had half an hour to get to the nearest machine before it closes to get my fingerprint done so I could get a digital ID. We reached the place and there was only a 20 minutes left. Logically, I could try to (maybe) wait until tomorrow very early in the morning, but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like I was on a very short period of time, and I had to hurry.

So many things stopped us on our way, funnily enough, but we made it.

I managed to sign myself up before the system closes by an only six minutes to spare.

Regardless of all of that, and how mind-blowing things could be and how I felt like I was going to burst a vein in me, we made it. We stopped the people that are fucking cruel.

This isn’t over, and I supposedly, as they worded it, “ran away from home” despite the fact I am no minor (and will be coming back). Not to mention what those people would do when they realize I have stopped them. They might just have a stroke and die—they will get angry, and while they cannot hurt me, it will still be a struggle to live with such an environment until I get a job. But that doesn’t matter, not that much.

What matters is that the impossible-to-fix, the threat over my head, is over. I will still have to endure things, but the worst is over, and that fills me to continue even more than before.

Look how the tables have turned. Funnily enough, I have fought with them the night before, and they swore that I will never get my way because, supposedly, I am the cruel one here. But no. Consequences exist. You don’t have to believe in heaven and hell and all of that, but the fact that the world spins is real, and every action has consequences. I will happily watch them fall apart piece by piece and, while I would heavily prefer being somewhere else, I will wait.

I remember writing the chapter “(Please!) A Miracle” from My Baby and thinking that, oh Sunny, I am asking for one too. Hehe.

A seven years problem is solved. Things may backfire and things normally change and never stay the same, but it is over. It stops now at 28 October, and hopefully it will be completed over soon after that.

Thank you to everyone who stayed around to check on me. To those online and in real life. It literally feels like nearing the end of a drama series, and ya all were the viewers. Good to have come to an end and to announce it. It would still take a bit before it gets all better, but it is nearing its death. I have won the key and no one can take it, now all I have to do is unlock the chains. Ain’t that cliché? But I am a writer I CANNOT HELP IT HEHE.

Anyway. Thank you so much, and I will keep updating this series of a life of mine! Take care >:D

[star-dust-shark]

I'm this close to switching from English to Fucklish with these people-

Yours was the first blog on my feed so I'm sorry about this in advance but I need to rage

Context: A friend of mine (Chloe- she's on Tumblr sometimes) really loves to rp and she's in a google classroom with some friends from quotev and they all rp and call each other a lot. I joined it a while ago when it was first made at her request but I don't really rp so I don't go in there a lot. Sometimes there's some drama but nothing really dramatic, yk? But last night she started messaging me and she was really upset about something. She said she'd angered Ace and then Creepy (ppl in the class) and she needed help so I go to the classroom and scroll through the posts and see that basically someone (Ty short for smth- idk) was spam tagging Chloe and got upset when he couldn't get ahold of her (she wasn't online at the time) he wrote a suiside note that really upset the others. They were annoyed and thought he was lying about something he said in the note and kicked him out. Then they started worrying about what Chloe would do once she saw the note and how she would react. They muted her and when she left the class they got even MORE upset. Then after I came on and asked what happened they acted all sorry and said that they felt really bad but she wasn’t answering them. She wasn’t answering them because her parents turn off her devices at 8:30 pm.

Today she answered the emails and said she was sorry but she wasn’t coming back and they snapped at her.

Chloe doesn’t like being cussed at. She curls in on herself and stops responding. Except these people cuss a lot when they’re mad and doing it in all caps at her has made her kinda insensitive when they do it. 

Then in ANOTHER letter they later sent to her Anna said:

"Ty sent out a letter, practically his su!c!de note, saying how he was going to do stuff and said some pretty bad things. None of us really believed him, and we thought that you would blow up because he was spamming you literally minutes before he wrote it. Eventually, all of us started worrying about what you were going to think, and how annoying you’d be about it. This eventually led to us discussing some things you’ve done in the past that was really starting to tick us off. What you did to Ren was probably the final straw. Together, was came up with a list of thing’s you did, and we’re going to ask you to please tone it down a notch. Creepy and Ace were a little harder, just wanting to mute you right away, but I told them to wait. We deleted Ty’s post, and Ace wrote that letter to you. It was a little harsh, so I asked her to add that we still do love you, and we don’t want you to be mad, but rather, we wanted you to take the criticism and apply it to your RP’s."

The thing she did to Ren was forgetting to censor some sh one of her OC's did. She forgot. And it pissed them off. Because apparently it’s impossible to forget to censor some things. She was already exhausted from a test we had the previous day and they were messaging her in all caps and cussing at her and had the absolute god damn nerve to get even more pissed off when she stopped replying. 

The other things she did was just basically being really childish. And it annoyed them because she’s older than almost all of them.

It is taking every molecule of self-restraint to not fuck all of them up (some of them are younger than ME) 

“She’s not the only one struggling with school!”

No but are you being threatened with never seeing your closest friend again?

“She’s not the only one with a hard life!”

No but her life is still hard- being in the system isn’t easy. Even after she was out it’s horrible.

“She’s just so childish she needs to grow the fuck up the way she acts is stupid!”

Oh so your against age regressing?

“I don’t even fucking know what that is and fuck off with that attitude”

When I tell you I wanted to rip this bitches head off

I don’t think Chloe realizes it but she regresses sometimes. It’s just something she does. 

One of them finally lays out what age regression is for the rest of them but says

“I’m not against it…it just makes me feel awkward, like I don’t know what to say. I also never have dealt with it in my life, and it just makes me feel weird.”

I want to scream. 

It makes you feel awkward so you get mad at her over it? Really? I think you’re the one who needs to grow the fuck up. 

She loves these people. she considers them family. She's always worrying about saying the wrong thing, accidentally triggering them, not being able to help them, and they treat her like this.

She finally agreed to come back and Ace won't even let her. She changed the code for the class.

"Atp I don't even want her to come back. I'll give her the code eventually"

...

Sorry about this, I'm just really mad. Chloe has been my best friend for years and this upsets me.

Dude that’s so legit, that’s really really fucked up I’m sorry you’re dealing with that

If u ever feel like u need to vent more or something my account @let-it-all-out7 is always open

I thought u meant a different Ren for a second lol my bad

[tinimmyweek]

@jimmyjrsmusoems ranks Tina/Jimmy Jr. kisses (from worst to best...kinda?)

We are officially two weeks out from Tinimmy Week!!! (can you hear that??? me, screaming in the distance???) @babsvibes actually sent me an ask on my own blog about my favorite Tinimmy kisses, but we thought we might as well put it here instead. Obviously, this ranking is just MY opinion, and I would love to hear yours! (Also, if I forgot any...sue me!) Anyway....

10. "The Gene and Courtney Show" Season 6, Episode 7

Listen....while I love that he brought her a rose, I cannot handle the second-hand embarrassment I feel when I think about how Tina is wearing a diaper in this scene. Like...I know she's dressed as cupid, but it's all I can focus on!!! If she wasn't wearing one, I think I would rank this kiss higher.

9. "The Bob's Burgers Movie"

I feel like some of you might be shocked that I didn't put the movie kiss higher (I shocked myself with it when I was making this list), but there are just other ones that I like more! I do love the "Woah." "Yeah." afterwards, and I'm pretty sure I cried the first time I saw this scene in theaters lollll

8. "Every Which Way but Goose" Season 9, Episode 14

*giggles and kicks feet* <3 <3 <3

bonus :

7. "Pig Trouble in Little Tina" Season 10, Episode 4

I know that the first one is supposed to be part of Tina's dream, but they look so cute that I wanted to include it. The actual kiss in this scene is made for me by Zeke's "Oh hell yeah!" after and Jimmy Jr.'s dazed reaction. Also, these poor kids that aren't apart of the friend group were probably soooo confused

6. "UFO No You Didn't" Season 9, Episode 9

The way that she SPRINTS down the hall in this scene kills me, and I love Jimmy Jr.'s (and Jocelyn's) reactions after. If this wasn't immediately followed by THE Zekina kiss, it would probably be higher up on my list! (That's what I get for being a multi-shipper, oops)

5. "Gene it On" Season 4, Episode 20

THEY WERE ON A DATE!!!!!! HE LOVES IT WHEN SHE'S MEAN!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

4. "Ex Machtina" Season 7, Episode 8

Obviously, I'm biased...but this is arguably the best Tinimmy episode overall, and this kiss is just...magical??? Idk??? The fire in the back??? The vibes??? Also, I considered adding the scene where Jimmy Jr. kisses the robot while the entire family watches, but I can't watch that scene without physically recoiling, sooooo

3. "The Quirkducers" Season 7, Episode 6

THIS HAD NOOOOO RIGHT TO BE AS STEAMY AS IT IS. WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG???? THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST INTENSE KISS WE SEE FROM THEM AND THEY'RE DRESSED LIKE THAT!!!! I NEED TO KNOW HOW SHE TALKED HIM INTO THIS!!!!! WAS IT SPONTANEOUS??? HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FROND TO BREAK THEM UP??? I WANT TO KNOW SO BADLY

bonus angle :

2. "Sheesh! Cab, Bob?" Season 1, Episode 6

The first kiss!!! Honestly, this is the one I struggled to rank the most. I think they've had better ones since this, but there's something so special and nostalgic about this one??? I think part of it is that I love the window scene right before this. IDK!!!! <3

"Bob Actually" Season 7, Episode 9

Was there ever any doubt about which one would be #1??? I am never NOT thinking about the sky kiss. He planned this!!! For Valentine's Day!!!! FOR HER!!!! He was so excited about it!!!!! Also, Sky Kiss is my favorite Bob's Burgers song, so it gets extra points for that. The "Jimmy Jr. kisses Tiiiiiiiiiina" part scratches my brain just right. <3

(As a side note, after typing these all out, I realized that they kiss SO many times in season 7???? If you took out the Xmas episode, there would be three episodes in a row where they kiss. They need to bring that momentum back for me personally)

If you read this entire thing, just know that I am giving YOU a (virtual) kiss on the cheek <3 Happy almost Tinimmy week, I am so so excited to see what everyone comes up with!!!!

[hearteyespierce]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

oof this has been sitting in my inbox for AGES ella sorry!! i have so many opinions about music and i didn't have the energy to pick 5 when you first sent it lmao, i'm so sorry i forgot about it!!!

i've been on an I Only Listen To The Mountain Goats kick lately (in the literal sense, not in the podcast of the same name sense), but i will refrain from listing 5 mountain goats songs lmao, i do actually listen to a variety of stuff i promise 😅 though it will be difficult to narrow it down to only 1 TMG song if i'm being honest. edit post list creation: same w/ all the listed artists tbh. i think i got too involved/detailed on this lmao sorry.

when in comes to music, i get really connected to songs based on memories that get attached to them and am particularly invested in lyrics (vs my partner who is a musician and much more interested in bands doing things musically/technically unique/interesting) so my favs tend to be based on loving the lyrics first and the sound/what is interesting musically second.

but in no particular order:

Autoclave - The Mountain Goats (god this was a tough choice. Idk if heretic pride is my fav album of theirs but it IS very good. my fav album of theirs is, i think, impossible to choose. my friend dan made me a mixtape of TMG songs when I was 18 or 19 because he thought i'd dig them, and he was right. i've been in love with them ever since.) When I try to open up to you, I get completely lost / Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost / And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn / And there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn

Jealous - Camp Cope (this is from Running With The Hurricane, which is their latest album and it's gorgeous. it came out during the early days of COVID and i was living alone in LA in this miserable bachelor unit and would go on walks in the middle of the night in K-Town, where i was living at the time. i very vividly remember the first time i listened to it on one of those walks. this was also my Izzy song back in my intense ofmd days lmao. Camp Cope, my best friend Camp Cope) I'm so jealous / I'll take anything you give to me / Yeah, I'm so jealous / Oh, I'm laying at your feet / Take me, baby / You're never in the wrong / I'm so jealous / Yeah, I'm so jealous of your dog

Cactus Tree - Joni Mitchell (would have been very easy to pick literally anything from Blue but this is, i think, my fav of hers to listen to/sing along to. It's so full of longing, and Songs to a Seagull was her first album. it's so gorgeous. i've loved Joni since i was a little kid because she was my mom's favorite and i have so many good memories of listening to Court and Spark and her live album Miles of Aisles over and over and over again on the floor of the living room or in the car or on my portable cd player in the hallways at school. i used to both sing along to the songs and talk along, reciting her commentary between songs on Miles of Aisles 😅) She will love them when she sees them / They will lose her if they follow / And she only means to please them / And her heart is full and hollow / Like a cactus tree / While she's so busy being free

Easy to Love - Cayetana (i've been attached to Cayetana for years ever since I saw them open for Lemuria many years ago. even finding them through an experience w my abusive ex is not enough to dull my love for cayetana. this song makes me feel so many things and i love this whole album) And sometimes I can't articulate the words trapped in my head / The way the morning does its dizzy dance / And I can't get out of bed / I learn too late / I learn too late

Delicate, Petite & Other Things I'll never be - Against Me! (very difficult pick, Transgender Dysphoria Blues is my fav album of theirs, but I also love a lot of their earlier stuff. This song from Shape Shift With Me - and the whole album tbh - is excellent) I'm still waiting for the visions / Possession has yet to take hold of me / We all want to burn on a pyre / So tell me what kind of witch are you / The skin on your neck looks like a little thin / Don't go sticking it out for me / Like a beggar with a cold cup to fill / I am the dirt under your nails

some honorable mentions:

Easier - Nate Roy (Nate is a former coworker/friend of mine - we've drifted apart but he came out as trans when we were working together and the whole album is about his transition. i've listened to it countless times and it was part of what led to me realizing i was also trans.)

Red Wine Super Nova - Chappell Roan (idk that i need to link this one everyone knows Chappell lmao but still. I'm late to the game on Chappell Roan. i never actually listened to the album in full until this past August right after my cat died because i desperately needed something fun to listen to while i was driving bc most of my music is either sad or angry and would just encourage me to cry which is Not Safe while driving lmao. i fell in love instantly and i love this song so much)

Love Me, I'm a Liberal - Phil Ochs (i just love Phil Ochs and this song is just. funny and depressing and funny. so much of it is sadly still relevant and every time i listen to it, i think about writing an updated version of it with modern references. have genuinely asked my partner to teach me to play the guitar so i can do this. idk if anyone would even want to listen to it though lmao)

will send this ask to a few people but if anyone sees this and wants to do it, please feel free and tag me, i'd love to see your favs!

[kanazawa-division]

ARB Birthday Special: Joey Kurusu

~~ October 9th ~~

“The dead cannot cry out for justice. It is a duty of the living to do so for them.”

Login Lines:

“Oh shit! Oh shit! I’m late for work! Haaah…why didn’t my alarms go off?! I set up six of them! Man, I knew I shouldn’t stayed up all night gaming! Wataru’s gonna have my a-huh?”

“What’s this? A present? And it’s for me!…Oh crap, so that’s why my alarms didn’t go off, it’s my birthday, haha!”

Voice Lines:

“Damn, I’m 24 now. I know it’s not a huge milestone or anything but after all the shit I went through and coming close to death more times than I would like to admit, I’ve come to learn that time is very precious and I’m thankful for every minute, hour, day, and year that I’m alive….wow, that was hella sappy lmao.”

“Everyone at the station sent me a happy birthday! Even the Narcotics Unit and those guys don’t talk to anyone! Man, it feels like yesterday I was just joining the force, I’m glad to make such nice and cool friends.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I just got a text from my dad, he wished me a happy birthday….’why do I look angry?’ I’m not angry! Really, I’m not! It’s just….this is the first time he’s reached out to me in four years…yeah…I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Hahaha! Oh man, my mom is hilarious! She sent me a book a puns….a book of police puns, hehe. Oh, I am definitely going to use these on Wataru and Kyler, maybe this is the day I finally get a smile out of both of them! Wish me luck!”

“Hey Shanny….I’m sorry I haven’t visited in a while, work’s got me in a chokehold right now, especially with all the DRB stuff happening…but I haven’t forgotten you, I would never forget you. I hope you’re doing okay wherever you are, I hope that you’re happy, your big bro is working really hard to find whoever took you away, they’ll get what’s coming to them, I promise.”

“Sorry guys but I’m spending the day with my lovely Mamoru! It’s been a while since we’ve been on a date, I know it’s my birthday but I wanna make this special for him….Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, call me a simp, whatever, I’d gladly be his Tier 3 Sub!….Wait-“

“Wataru! Buddy! You’re here! And here I thought you forgot about little ol’ me!…Ouch! That’s so mean! C’mon man, we’ve known each other for how long?…You’re so cold Wataru, you’re lucky I’m here to thaw that frozen aura of yours, otherwise you’d never have any friends haha, ooooh! A gift! From you! Let’s see what it is!”

“It’s a….a….okay, I’m stumped, what even is this?….Ohhhhh…This is…nice….I guess…Hey! My desk is not messy! Maybe to you but I can easily find whatever I need no problem! It’s called ‘organized chaos’, dude, there’s a method to the madness…Holy fuck, you’re old-“

“Kyler! My dude! Good to see you, man! Feels like it’s been forever since we last hung out…that’s still too long! C’mon dude, not only are we teammates but we’re friends! We should hang out outside of our jobs! Hm? You got something for me? Your bestie? Aw, you shouldn’t have…I’m joking, gimme.”

“Whooooa, sick! A new game! Deadpool huh? This is a character from your American comic books, right? Niiiiiice! I’ve been wanting to play more western games, this is just what I wanted! Thanks Ky! We definitely have to play this together, a game night with the boys! It’ll be awesome!”

Wataru Lines:

“Hello Joey, happy birthday…to be honest, I had completely forgot it was your birthday and even when I remembered, I originally wasn’t going to do anything…*sigh* For the umpteenth time, we are not friends, we are coworkers, I don’t know why that hasn’t clicked for you…Good grief, just take this.”

“It’s a desk organizer, something I noticed that you desperately needed ever since you started working here. It’s irritating to pass by your desk and see all sorts of junk everywhere, I implore you to use it, there is only so many times I can see your Hatsuno Miki pencils and notebooks lying around so haphazardly.”

Kyler Lines:

“Sup Joey, happy birthday, man…we literally just solved a case four days ago, alright, alright, you might have a point. Speaking of, I got something for you, I figured you would like it….fine then, I’ll give it to someone else…yeah, yeah, you’re welcome by the way.”

“It’s the Deadpool video game, I had it imported all the way from America to here so you better enjoy it…Nice, I’m glad you like it, I’ll admit, you do kinda remind me of him sometimes…but without the regeneration abilities, ducked up face, and is somehow more annoying. *Sigh* Y’know what? Sure, just text me when and I’ll be there, happy birthday, Jo.”

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hi, it’s me, Fanfic Anon #2. Can I just say how blessed we have been these last week or so with all that lovely content? I still haven’t recovered. Anyways. This is my Bastille Day piece! Hope everyone enjoys.

"Now remember, chéri, we have a guest," she reminded him that morning over breakfast (in what felt more like a velvet gloved threat than a gentle reminder).

"I know," he replied, a little confused as to where this was coming from. What exactly was she worried about?

"So you need be on your best behavior," she continued as if he hadn’t spoken.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He laughed, suddenly realizing when he saw the look in her eyes what she was afraid of. ‘Oh. Right. That.’ He thought to himself. "You know that I would never, ever do anything that would make you uncomfortable or embarrass you. Right?"

"Of course," she waved it away, the slight doubt though not leaving her eyes. She knows her husband, knows how he gets caught up in the moment, and knows he’s just as likely to kiss her senseless on the platform in front of the eyes of the world as he is to squeeze her hand, especially when he sees her in her dress (or at least, she hopes he will like her dress this year, a little different, a little solaire - designed to be a literal highlight after a year with so many different shadows.)

"I mean it, Brigitte," he vowed, grabbing for her hand and squeezing it lightly. "I know how much you hate things like this, how nervous you get, how you’re the one the press goes after even when I’m the one who can’t keep my hands to myself. I love you and I respect you. Have I ever let you down?"

"No," she answered, a shy smile peaking through now.

"I don’t intend to start now. I’ll be good. Scouts honor!"

"You weren’t even a scout!" She laughed at him, the load on her shoulders lightening in the way it always does under his delicate touch, always sure of how best to lift her, cheer her, support her, love her.

"Want me to swear an oath? We have that fancy collar for the Legion of Merit lying around somewhere. I could go find it -"

"Stop being ridiculous!" She rolled her eyes.

"Ah! But it got you to smile," he pointed out.

"I guess it did."

"That’s all I ever want to do, make you smile."

He sees her smiling at him as he walks toward that platform hours later, looking absolutely radiant under the morning light, and he finds it hard to keep his promise. (She was right, she was always right, left to his own devices he couldn’t be held responsible for the reaction that dress provoked in him)

But as he lets go of the Indian Prime Minister’s hand, she is the magnet pulling him towards her, slipping his hands around her soft right one, pressing the quickest kiss to her knuckles, and pulling up to see her beautiful beaming smile as he feels her left hand settle over his. ‘Mission accomplished’ he thinks as he walks off to greet his cabinet.

She catches him grinning like an idiot at his phone while she was getting ready for the dinner that night, sliding up to him and asking, "what are you looking at? Should I be jealous?"

He laughs as he shows her the picture their daughter sent to his phone, the message reading "I saw this photo online and figured the two of you would want it. Love you!"

"Oh!" She whispers as she in the way she could read every ounce of love flowing between them in that moment.

"Yeah. Now we gotta find a place in your office to put it!" He jokes.

"My office?" She laughs. "Mon cœur, I think this would go great on all that open desk space in your office."

“How about in here then?” He gestures towards their private living room.

“Sounds perfect,” she agrees, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Just like you,” he responds before pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.

Hello fanfic anon #2! ❤️

What a delightful piece! 😍 For a few seconds I even forgot I was reading a fanfic hahaha because I can really imagine them being this playful and it’s just the cutest (and sexiest!) thing ever 🤭🥰

Thank you so much, fanfic anon #2! ❤️❤️❤️

[sophsun1]

(not so fun) fact: i started watching qaf last year because this fanvid showed up in my youtube recommendations and i watched it out of boredom/curiosity. and that scene you just giffed was in the video, except in the video it didn't last for very long and so i couldn't judge context. i thought it must be either a cute or a sexy scene and when i first started watching i was waiting impatiently THE WHOLE TIME for that scene to come up and IMAGINE MY HOROR when i learned the context sjsjsjsj :''(

Hey!

Oh my god, lmao you played yourself!

I actually love that you sent this ask because there's some similarities there to my experience of how I discovered qaf and britin. And now this gives me an opportunity to ramble incoherently as I do about it :)

So I used to see gifsets of Brian around tumblr here and there from people I followed in another fandom and occasionally see them discuss a couple called Britin and a song called Lover's Spit or something being so important (flashforward to future self - SO IMPORTANT AHHH) I often wondered what the show was about and who he was as the iconic if i'm not fucking you quote/mon amour chin bite scene etc would pop up alongside the age old discussion of Brian/Michael/Justin.

Like you one night years later I couldn't sleep and was bored and the universe spoke to me and said why don't you check that couple out on youtube to see what the fuss was, so I did. The first scene I ever saw was the mansion proposal of all things and first impressions were it's an older guy/younger guy vibe and the scene was the emotionally repressed older guy professing his love for the younger one and that the outfits they were wearing were extremely hideous.

Now I always assumed from what I would read that Brian and Michael were an actual couple and that when Justin came along it transpired into a love triangle with Brian having to ultimately decide between Justin and Michael for his true love asdfgjhkdkdjs. I wasn't completely wrong hehe 😂

Anyway I mostly forgot about them as I wouldn't see them a lot it was really rare and I just continued in my other fandom.

Watching all these without context was v interesting and confusing as I could only find like you fanvids but I wanted actual scenes so I could try and work out what was happening. So the few clips I saw were the 3x08 intern scene with the it'd be a pleasure to work under you sir. I thought oh so he goes to work for the older guy at some point and I thought Brian was a teacher for some reason lmaoooo but to be fair the clip was literally just that short scene so I had no clue.

Then came the stockwell scene where Brian has sold all his stuff as the concerned citizens and then finally what clinched it for me was I saw the prom dance and I was like wow, all the feels. The next day I hunted down a streaming link watched the show, still mildly confused and the rest is history. I became an unhinged superfan, searched them on tumblr found zero activity, taught myself to gif and I've never known peace since 💕

The End.

P.S I love hearing about how people discovered them whether it was from a friend, from gifs or if they experienced it live. I can't imagine the intensity of that, especially back then in the 2000's.

[turn2tech]

what the fuck just happened

ok um sorry for posting this on tumblr out of literally anywhere else but i just got out of a really WEIRD relationship and im honestly not sure what else to do!!!

tws: possibly toxic relationships? (past) physical/emotional abuse

holy shit wow where do i even start

this all happened so fast!!!

ok me and my bf of 1.5 years have broken up!!! It was our homecoming dance i invited them as well as our mutual best friend, and when they got there they told me they thought it was going to be a date. They acted very upset throughout the entire thing brought down the mood all together. I'm not saying that they aren't allowed to express their emotions, but the thing is, they were there when i invited the best friend. After that, i broke up with them while we were waiting for our parents to pick us up (we're freshmen). We agreed to stay friends.

After all of that, i invited the best friend over to my house, mainly so i could complain about how they were kind of a manipulative asshole throughout the entire relation (dw, ill get to that later) and we got to talking, eventually coming to the conclusion they we should also stop being friends with them.

Me, being the irrational and impulsive prick that i am, told someone that max was close too! I told him the next day at school, not realizing i forgot to tell him that the confrontation itself was going to happen at a later date, and him, confused, went to class and asked my boyf what happened.

blah blah blah yada yada yada i said some stupid shit in a group chat, insulted them while trying to explain the situation, and was just kind of bitchy about the whole thing. Without hearing my side of the story, everyone immediately took max's side and kicked me. I understand it to an extent, but even to this day they refuse to get my perspective which is really concerning to me. I had someone i knew inside the group chat still, and they sent me screenshots of everyone saying how they never liked me in the first place and how AND I QUOTE "only ever talk about cartoons and video games." Like... damn. I would genuinely rather be punched in the face and have my nose broken by a complete and utter stranger on the street then to see that.

A few days after, the friend that started this all insisted that apologizing to the bf directly would fix everything. I gave a whole ass SPEECH about how i was in the wrong about the things i said, but i still felt our relationship was unhealthy for me. They didn't add me back to the group chat, nor did i ever have someone ask me for my side. Oh, and the inside friend? refuses to defend me in fear of getting kicked out as well.

The mutual best friend actually made amends with the bf so they aren't on bad terms, but in truth they are only there to report what he has said about me. He has said the following:

that i was emotionally distant

i ... smelled bad????

i didn't give them enough "physical affection" (i frequently said no to making out)

And that just got me thinking. The entire reason i was emotionally and physically distant was because of, well, physical and emotional abuse ive suffered in the past. Ive had terrible relationships, and even more terrible friends. I told them about this several times, and that it's not their fault im this way! clearly they don't care and have decided to take it personally, which is not my problem.

So you know what? ive got a couple of gripes with you too.

you never(rarely) showered and actively admitted that to me

you were a compulsive liar that lied about fucking EVERYTHING

you frequently emotionally presured me into staying with you, using the phrase "I'd probably kill myself if we ever broke up haha" frequently

you faked being scene (dressed the part, did not listen to the music LMFAO I JUST REMEBERED THEIR FAVORITE ARTIST IS MITSKI HELP)

AND LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST,

YOU FUCKING FAKED BEING TRANS TO DATE ME

yes, you read that last part right! the NIGHT we broke up they went to all their social media accounts and changed the flags in their pfps, as well as the pronouns in their bio, oh no, im sorry, HER BIO. I am pissed and angry and mainly sad that i didn't see the signs earlier. And hey, if you read this far, thanks.

Anyways, there's actually a lot more inbetweens to this story, including the collapse of an entire friend group, rumors, and a musical (not fucking kidding), but im tired and typing this just made me really sad. goodnight.

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 ‘oh those shows for sure wouldn’t exist without Queer as Folk. By the way, yesterday I watched that red blue movie and i was so confused cause there was no swearing and no dicks and no actual sex scenes. Cant decide if that makes it boring or what but fuck do i hate censorship, anyway back to the pretty boy’ ‘When was this filmed because Bri- Gale looks fine as fuck? Aged like fine wi- (Pulse was mentioned this second) oh…fuck nevermind, still pretty though’

And we are now at fan encounters part: Gale says people thought he was Brian ‘WHO thought he was bad at playing Brian? I will fight them right this second!’ Gale starts his not that guy speech ‘mhm tell them! Wait what is he saying? I feel like he’s just trying to hit word count. I feel like he’s talking to me. But i never criticized him, he’s perfect. It’s the writers that i have a problem with and if i ever see them, it’s on sight!’ Gale starts talking about the fan encounters *he moves his head forward and has wide eyes in shock* ‘wait what..he was harassed by guys? THE FUCK? Oh people were fucked in the heads back in the day.. still are but damn, i forgot about the celebrity culture in early 2000s’ Gale started to talk about how guys would ask him how he could even play Brian ‘oh i bet my ass if he wanted to he’d be able to argue with anyone. Id pay to see it. Not saying I want him to argue but itd be fun to watch him shut someone stupid down.’ Gale says he wishes he could go back and do it better ‘Excuse me? You were perfect! Fuck, who do i have to bully for them to give me a movie with older Brian? Imagine a movie and it starts with both of them together in New York. (He’s for sure getting your fic in the future)’ Gale mentions he hates that people make speculations about him ‘i feel like he’s talking to me. In my defense sweetheart, i just learned your name like a week ago. So sue me for thinking you were gay. (Me: ‘hes not talking about you, idiot) yeah, well, i felt attacked and you shut up, you knew and didnt tell me! Awww he’s proud of the show. I was worried for a second. He’s a good guy, i fuck with him…even if he’s *clears his throat* straight’ ‘People were mean to him about Bri Bri? I will burn this entire world down to the ground! How fucking dare they? I will fight everyone that has something rude to say to him or Blondie!’

‘Wait, is there Randy’s version too? Cause that dude mentioned Peter and Sharon. So did they all film these? Where are they? (I tell him that to my knowledge only Gale’s is out) oh COME ONNNN, I can’t fucking win with this show, can i?’ ‘Where is Gale now? Can you show me an interview from now? Or does he have IG? I am willing to start my account again for him’ I actually laughed at that and when i told him how removed he is from internet he went ‘GOR FUCKS SAKE! Theres no winning with this dude! Is he even still alive?’

And the final thoughts were:

‘Wow he is nothing like Brian, he’s so shy and introverted. A little fidgety so i feel like he’s not used of shit like this. He’s literally nothing like Bri Bri…’ me, sarcastically ‘its called acting, brother’ He looked at me like i was the dumbest person ever but also like he shouldve known this. And then immediately after that he called our mom and started the conversation with: ‘he’s straight mom! Straight! BRIAN! Can you fucking believe that shit? Wait let me send you the video’

And later after he sent that video and forced her to watch some of it. She facetimed him and went: ‘i weirdly assumed hed be like in the videos you sent but he seems really shy’ Him: ‘its called acting, mother’ *turns to me and raises his hands towards our mom like can you believe her for not knowing this*

He then notified everyone that the actor who plays his Bri Bri is actually straight and that he is shocked by the news. And then his friend told him he knew cause he googled him and my brother blocked his number for 2 hours cause he got offended.

By the way, yesterday I watched that red blue movie and i was so confused cause there was no swearing and no dicks and no actual sex scenes. Cant decide if that makes it boring or what but fuck do i hate censorship, anyway back to the pretty boy’ I AM DYING OVER THIS!

As Soph has said, Gale will use 100 hundred words to say something that should take 10. Love that for him and for us.

I love how protective your brother is over Gale and Randy, they really do deserve all our protection. People were awful to them.

It’s called acting. I’m so dead. Yes, he’s nothing like your brother’s beloved BriBri. But also, that’s a good thing? Brian is my best beloved blorbo but he’s not exactly the picture of mental and emotional well being (who is?) and I hope Gale is more comfortable with his emotions and with vulnerability. For his own sake.

I feel honored that you would recommend my fic to your brother! After he learns about the existence of fan fiction.

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

information on that thing that appeared a couple of times so far - demonstrated in a number of character description sheets, among other methods

(NOTICE: i forgot who made these three sheets)

alright. you got the sheets. now here's the words.

this fella's an ultrakill OC i cooked up with no prep time. wanted to make an angel-type, so i did. this gnc little fuck literally just exists because i willed it so. i love them with all my heart and i am tired. don't ask why they look so similar to @mythostrickytheclown, i could not tell you even if the devil tried to waterboard it out of me.

...hey i could make the two interact who knows

anyway. uhm. what else. OH YEAH LORE. hold on

so Asbeel's lore is as follows: they used to be a respected fighter, marketed as the Angel of Destruction and as the Father's left hand. however, an incident back in time immemorial led to Asbeel getting confused about what to destroy, and through calculating themselves into a hole, they misplaced themselves and razed a Heavenly citadel to the ground. hence, why they're so feared by the Armies of Heaven, and by proxy have the reputation that they do.

Asbeel, after this incident, was cut off from their halo and Fancy Little Details, which led to them forging themselves a crowbar for self defense. in another time immemorial, they were led to being +ENRAGED for the better part of forever, likely related to how no one wants to talk to them, let alone how they cannot talk to anyone - a restrictment forced upon them by the Holy Father in their creation.

they've always wanted to say hi to people, but they've never been able to since God's been around forever... but during Act III of ULTRAKILL, Asbeel is summoned to Treachery-4 /// Judeccca... and finally emits some form of communication, albeit infront of the one who's back they've broken back a billion eons ago or so - Gabriel. yes, they've broken Gabriel's back. no, this is not really important to their lore. just thought i'd include that.

also, as a brief aside, sorry about the run on sentences, i'm going for a marathon over here. /j.

also it's 2 am.

____________________

okay returning to this it's conveniently midnight. forgot what day i wrote the 2 am stuff on. whatever man it was probably 4/28. as i was saying.

now, i can't Hyperlore like some people can, so i'm not... really trying here? i want to, but i can't, y'feel me?

the thing is, my brain is just... filled with rocks. all of the little neurons up there are too ouppy blorbo fixated onto Literally Anything Else, alternatively FUCKING NOTHING, for me to do anything good.

...i mean, that's how i see it. other people would probably like this (e.g. my friends in the steal town discord), but i don't.

suppose you could say i feel inadequate.

that's not important, i'm sorry.

back to lore.

now, Asbeel's lore was briefly touched on above in the 2 am blabberfest, but tonight i plan to go a little deeper.

Asbeel was primarily created by the Holy Father Thou Art in Heaven to function as a problem solving tool, for the problems that don't want to be solved and also don't seem important enough for the Big Boys such as Gabriel and Michael. one such example can be a rogue machine roamin' through Hell that needs judgement, or a ruler going a little too out of pocket for the Council's liking.

tl;dr, if a problem grew too annoying for the Council, and no one really felt it appropriate for the Armies, Asbeel got sent in to deal with it. pretty simple.

if there are no problems for Asbeel to deal with? they get to stand guard by gates that no one else has the time to guard. it was Very Very Boring for them but they couldn't complain because it was literally impossible for them to do such.

as Asbeel's time of "half problem solution, half gate guardian" has come to a close, and after them being used to punish Gabriel for losing to a fucking go-pro, they finally unlock the ability to Go Do Whatever... just as soon as they finish guarding the Council's personal chambers.

however... as you can tell, they didn't give a shit.

because Gabriel had other plans. you get it.

"No hard feelings, Asbeel?"

no hard feelings from Asbeel. they were tired of being used as a tool, but furthermore, they were tired from everything in general. they wanted to be peaceful, to greet those who felt too feeble to greet the other archangels. they may have hated humanity, but that doesn't mean they wanted to punish them.

humanity is dead.

not by Asbeel's doing, of course. that honor goes to the go-pro that defeated Gabriel not once, but twice now, and TWO of the strongest Prime Souls to ever exist. A SECURITY CAMERA defeated the most powerful creatures Asbeel ever had the chance to meet in person. what chance would they have against it?

whatever. Whatever. WHATEVER!! Asbeel doesn't give a shit. they'll destroy that blasted, glorified gun on legs. Gabriel couldn't, Minos couldn't. Not even fucking Sisyphus could. of course, Asbeel's likely small fry compared to that bloodthirsty blue fuck, but they couldn't care less. their fury knows no bounds. it will suffer. it will die. it will be annihilated.

Asbeel has something to say about it.

Soon.

...

sorry, was that any good? i say again, i don't feel like it was.

anyway i'm gonna go write asbeel fighting that damned machine. seeya

[silverstream39]

mkae a story of mafuyu turning into a cat and her fruends go nuts 😊🤗

Featuring: Meowfuyu, Kanade, Ena, Mizuki, Miku

I NORMALLY do HCS like I said but I’ll make an exception for my first request! added a self insert (gn) of reader being part of nightcord because that’s all I really do, plus you didn’t seem to mind

“(Nickname)” = Online nickname

ALSO!!! BEFORE YOU READ!!! I wrote reader’s dialogue a bit boring so you could make your own dialogue in your head!

Catrocity Ensemble

• when it comes to Meowfuyu’s appearance, she would have purple fur and fluffy fur with a small body

• ALWAYS grooms her fur

• Mafuyu as a cat would probably not even want anything to do with you, Ena, and Mizuki tbh, as most cats already do

• Ena still wouldn’t even be able to process what is happening the next day, literally just staring in disbelief while Akito is wondering what the hell she’s yelling about

• even after the incident Mizuki would still call her the nickname “meowfuyu” at times even though Mafuyu would never understand it

• Kanade is shocked (still believes her either way)

• she’d probably be a little frustrated with not being able to do school work or write songs properly, with that she doesn’t even know how to tell her mom, nor make up a good excuse for being “away” from home all day

• When you meet up in sekai, Ena tries not to believe it’s actually her but can’t deny it anymore as she literally sees a purple cat right in front of her while Mizuki is just amazed

• If nightcord ever met up during this time, mafuyu would just sit by and watch the group work while she obviously can’t write with her paws

•she probably tried a few times

• in the main story she didn’t mind disappearing so I don’t think she’ll mind being a cat that much, it would be like having a small break from reality

• as much as Mizuki would like to see her play with cat toys, she wouldn’t be interested at all and just ignore Mizuki whenever they would throw toys around or use a fishing rod around her

• Mizuki always tries to dress her in small things while Mafuyu suffers in silence

• just ignores all the other cats on the block whenever she encounters them

•honestly the nickname “Meowfuyu” did make her feel a bit warm even though she never understood the reason why, she didn’t really mind it though

It was nearly 25:00 as you tapped your desk and waited for everyone to join the call. Sitting in silence, familiar users going by “K” and “Amia” appeared on (Name)’s computer screen. “Yahoo! Is anyone here?” Mizuki joyfully exclaimed, as usual. “Oh, Mizuki and (Nickname). Where’s Enanan and Yuki?” Kanade asked, she usually speaks about Mafuyu when she doesn’t come so early, Ena always comes after Mizuki, and Mafuyu just does school work before joining.

“Enanan usually comes after me..but I’m sure Mafuyu will come later” Right as Mizuki said, “Enanan” joined the call

“I’m here, I was busy working on the thumbnail I forgot to join, did I miss anything?” “Oh! Enanan! We haven’t worked on anything yet, so you didn’t miss anything so far.” Ena and Mizuki spent their time talking about the newest song coming up, while Kanade quietly worked. “Hey (Nickname), do you think you can check this out? I want to know if it’s alright.” Kanade sent the file to the chat while you opened the file.

Without hesitation, you listened to the draft Kanade asked you to check out. As usual, you could just say how nice you thought the composition was. “I think it sounds great, but Enanan and Amia might have something to say about it” “Alright. Thanks, (Nickname.)”

Kanade then went off to ask Ena and Mizuki for any suggestions or things she could fix after asking (Name), but in a matter of time your focus went on about when Mafuyu was going to join the call. Mafuyu wasn’t always this late, so perhaps something got in the way? The only way to find out would be to actually talk to her through her and your DM. The talking between the three continued as you scrolled through Nightcord and opened up your DM between you and Mafuyu. “<Hey Yuki, are you busy? K has already asked when you’d join.>” While typing your message, you noticed Mafuyu was online at the moment and waited for her response.

“<Oh, (*Misspelled* Nickname) I womt bw abke tp joim todsy.>” Seeing Mafuyu’s misspelled words made you laugh a little, but it made you confused at the same time. Something seriously had to be wrong if she could mess up that bad in typing a message. “<Yuki, is everything alright?” You replied, waiting for an answer. Her first message only took a matter of seconds, but this one was taking longer so there was a feeling she wasn’t gonna respond anytime soon.

Waiting a few minutes, a notification from the call broke the silence. You switched your tab back to the call between the 4 of you and noticed “Yuki” had joined. “I’m here.” “Oh, Yuki.” Even though you hoped she’d join today, you were still confused as to why she said she wouldn’t. Ena and Mizuki were still muted and working on the illustration and MV, and Kanade was going over what was said while Mafuyu wasn’t here.

“K, Amia, Enanan, (Nickname). Can we meet in SEKAI for a few minutes?” Right as Mafuyu spoke, everyone in the call unmuted. “Huh? Why right now?” “It’s a little late.. but I think I can go if it’s just a few minutes.” “This late? I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to go though if it’s that important”

So along with everyone else, you left the call after everyone left. Still confused on what was going on, you opened your phone and opened to a song that was named “untitled” and played it. It was only a few seconds before you saw familiar patterns surround and lead you into the empty SEKAI from before. Standing in front of you was three people, Ena, Kanade, and Mizuki.“Hey.. so where’s mafuyu? I thought she was coming.” Ena spoke, a little annoyed since Mafuyu requested to meet in SEKAI this late. “Ena.. don’t sound so annoyed, we just came!” After Mizuki started speaking, the two started to argue (as usual)

“If Mafuyus near us, then we should look for her.” You could see that Ena obviously wasn’t up for Kanade’s idea, especially with her being tired. “I messaged Mafuyu, she said she wasn’t coming but joined the call a few minutes later” The group of three turned their attention to you, probably expecting you to speak more. There wasn’t much to say due to Mafuyu not having much to say at all. Suddenly foot steps started to come closer and closer to where the group was standing. “Kanade? Why are you four here?” The person standing there was Miku, not showing any expression. “Oh, Miku. Mafuyu asked us to meet in SEKAI, we were just about to start looking for her.” “Hey—“ just as soon as Ena was about to protest, she was interrupted by a familiar voice.

“I’m here.” The group including Miku all turned their heads just to see a small purple cat with a fluffy tail and fluffy fur, weirdly talking. No one spoke a word, there was just complete silence as no one could even process what the hell is going on. “what.” was the only word Ena could speak out as her face was in shock, standing as still as a statue. “Mafuyu!? Is that you!?” Mizuki yelled, waving their arms around in pure entertainment. Going back to Kanade, she couldn’t even say anything. “Mafuyu?” There was almost never an expression on Miku either, but her eyes went wide as soon as she saw Mafuyu.

“No, That can’t be Mafuyu.. please tell me I’m dreaming..” “Hey, I can pinch you if you want to test it out!” The two then chased each other around, the only thing you wanted to do was just escape the entire chaos that was going on right now. “Mafuyu, when did this happen??” You questioned, Kanade was about to speak as if she was about to ask the same thing. “I don’t know. All I can remember is falling asleep during my homework. When I woke up, I was Iike this.” You suddenly remembered all of the funny misspellings and figured that was the reason why. “So that’s the reason to all of those misspellings..”

“Mafuyu..Is that really is that really you? Maybe I should sleep more often if I’m seeing things..” “Yes, this is me.” Mafuyu replied, not seeing at all bothered by her current state. “Well if your gonna stay like this forever, we’ll have to come up with some name! Hmm… what about Meow fuyu!?” “Well ‘Meowfuyu’ isn’t going to escape from her lyric writing anytime soon, so we need a way to make her turn back or something.” Even though Mizuki had already seemed to get used to it, Ena was still pretty blunt about “Meowfuyu”

“Yeah, Im not sure how she’ll be able to do anything with her current state” you laughed, the entire situation was just horrible. Mizuki then crouched down to pet Meowfuyu, amazed by how soft her fur was. “Meowfuyu’s fur is really soft!! I wonder how many times she had to clean herself to get it this soft!” Ena was clearly really annoyed by Meowfuyu and Mizuki. “Hey, don’t get so ahead of yourself Mizuki, she’s not an actual animal.” “Don’t be so blunt, Ena! (Name), Kanade, you should come feel her fur while she’s still here!” Walking towards Meowfuyu, you reached down to glide your hand across her light purple fur. “Mizukis right, But I don’t think she feels very comfortable right now because we’ve been here for barely any minutes.”

“Now that Mafuyus a cat, this makes me really want a cat now..cat owners are so lucky!” “Great..now all of those online cat photos, and now out of all things, Mafuyu turns into a cat!” “Ena! Don’t be so jealous, I’m sure your photos will get more likes someday.” The only thing you could do was just watch Ena and Mizuki argue about online cat photos topping Enas selfies while Kanade watched tiredly. “Even after this, I’ll still need to convince myself this entire thing wasn’t a dream..” “Come on Meowfuyu! You should spend the night at my house, I can imagine all the stuff I could dress you in!” “(Name), please help me before they get to anything” “As much as I would, I don’t think there’s stopping Mizuki anytime soon.” Even though Ena was clearly annoyed, she still laughed about it with everyone else when Mafuyu was just confused about the nickname and what was going on.

“Meowfuyu..?”

My tumblr is really laggy, also Ena for sure woke up the next morning with no sleep and in a bad mood (I love writing until 4:38 AM)

[sluttycinderella]

Razorgate Part Two: The Thrilling Continuation

Welcome back guilt ridden cockroaches of the scorched earth, to this absolute madness! I've decided to make another post because a lot of people brought up some good points that I want to address and some damning new information has come to light in recent days. So let's get into it!

First of all, some of you pointed out that it's actually not that weird if Dan and Phil share a razor since their junks always touching each other anyway. I don't shave and I'm sure it's pretty obvious but I've never gotten to the point in a relationship where I'd be cohabitating with a partner so I have no frame of reference for this sort of thing. I appreciate all of you who had the courage to call me out on my bitchless ignorance.

Some of you also mentioned the hair cutting videos, which I can't believe I forgot to include! It really was a glaring oversight on my part, how dare I call myself a researcher! So let's do a good old fashioned razor analysis on both hair cutting videos.

Trying To Cut My Own Hair

In Phil's hair cutting video, he refers to this as a "professional barber [razor]" (he says lazor at first, oh philly...)

This is the Surker K9S which I don't think the company actually sells anymore as I could only find it available on Ebay:

But yeah it makes sense why even if they still own this one, which who can say if they kept it in the move, they wouldn't use it for their slits as it's fucking gigantic and would probably take their entire eyebrows off.

One thing of interest is that Phil says he bought the razor specifically for this video, meaning that either they didn't have the Manscaped razor at this time or he didn't feel it would be adequate to cut his hair with (probably the latter.)

I TRY TO GIVE DAN A HAIRCUT

The Surker K9S is once again the weapon of choice for Dan's hair as well.

So in both the hair cutting videos, there are no ball shavers present unfortunately.

The Smoking Gun

So originally when I watched the stream, I had sworn that when Dan left he came back in with two razors, one in each hand:

BUT, when he goes to sit down, he's only holding one

BUT! Then the lovely user @finding-you-in-any-world sent me this ask:

And I went back and watched the part of the stream they referenced (1:45:45) actually on 1080p this time because for some reason my laptop streams YouTube at 360p automatically, AND THERE ARE INDEED TWO RAZORS!!!!

You can see in the stream that Dan comes in holding two razors, then transfers both of them to one hand, then places both of them down! Let's watch it back in slow motion shall we?

So yes, Dan and Phil do indeed own two electric razors but since I've already regaled you all with far too much information about the first razor, I thought it only fair to do the same for our new challenger.

Now a quick Google image search has led me to believe that this is the Philips (teehee) Norelco Bodygroom 7100 which has since been discontinued. The product information page claims it's for "anywhere below the neck" so not quite as damning as the Manscaped one but still very clearly not a face shaver.

But how old is the Philips Norelco Bodygroom 7100 exactly? Well, we can't be 100% sure but I did find this ad from 2016 which both puts its release somewhere around 7 years ago and is also just kinda hilarious:

So yeah, Dan and Phil do indeed own at least two electric razors! And considering one is the most recent (and incredibly overpriced) Manscaped razor and the other one pre-dates the election of Donald Trump (and is also literally called Philips) I think we can guess with a lot of confidence whos is who's.

That's all for now! Thank you for being here with me once again to share in my brainrot and if there's anything I missed or stuff you want to add, please let me know!

Razorgate: an empirical, peer reviewed study*

*there is nothing genuinely scientific about this, it is merely a result of mental illness and unemployment.

So we all saw this right?

But after this bomb was dropped I began to get curious about the other slittenings. Did they use the same razor for all of them and no one had noticed? Do they actually own more than one razor? And if they don't, if this is truly the only phrazor, then I don't think I have to tell you that raises a lot of questions.

Firstly, I went back to where this all began, Phil's Birthday stream, to identify the razor that carved the very first slit and forever cemented itself as a part of herstory:

Now that is very clearly the Manscaped logo, no question about it. Here’s a high quality photo of the logo for comparison:

(You can also clearly see in the Twitter post that it says "Manscaped" across it but I like to double check my work and I also wanted to prove that they were both Manscaped)

And it's a good thing I did double check because OP made a CRITICAL ERROR in their post! They claim that the razor in question is the Lawn Mower 4.0 when in fact it's the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra! Unlike the PUNY, PATHETIC, UNMANLY 4.0, the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra comes with an interchangeable foil blade, a USB port, and a more advanced spotlight!

How could OP be so careless? Dan and Phil would never own an outdated razor! They require only the finest in ball shaving technology!

Also fun fact: The first appearance of the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra on the Manscaped YouTube channel falls right in between the dapg return announcement and their first video back so make of that what you will...I for one shall be sculpting my own hill out of the very earth itself, "Manscaped Sponsorship Hill", I encourage you all to join me.

So after spending far too long researching the intricacies of razors that shave an organ I don't even have, I now needed to check if it was the same razor being used in every slittening:

Here they are side by side for comparison, left is Phil’s birthday, middle is the We're All Doomed post-premiere, right is Dan’s birthday. Now it appears the WAD one is missing the logo but I'm going to go ahead and chalk that up to the poor quality of the clip I found (if anyone has a better version PLEASE hit me up so I can confirm my hypothesis). And considering the photo taken in the aftermath seems to show Phil holding the 5.0 Ultra:

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's the same thing.

“But,” I hear you shouting, “so what if Dan and Phil used the same razor for all the streams? They already said they only owned one razor so who cares?” Well this isn’t so much about proving that they’re the same razor as it is establishing a baseline. It’s hard to trust basically anything Dan and Phil say lately, what with piggate and the “pillow” bar and the fake view from the Phouse, knowing that they aren’t lying about only having one razor (to the best of our knowledge) is crucial in figuring out what exactly is going on. Remember, we’re doing science here.

And with that in mind: In my professional opinion, I can say that for all three slittenings, the Manscaped Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra was the weapon of choice.

Sidenote: I went down a bit of a rabbit hole of Manscaped reviews during all of this and apparently Manscaped razors are kind of just a scam. This razor is $109 and they try to trick their customers into subscribing to their "Peak Hygiene Plan" which you don't actually need by offering a deceptive discount and hiding the terms where people aren't likely to see them. So yeah, fuck Manscaped and I for one think we should cancel Dan and Phil for not ethically consuming under capitalism.

But that's beside the point, we know that they indeed only have one razor and that that razor...is for balls. What does that tell us?

Conclusions

There are a multitude of conclusions one could jump to in the light of such a revelation, I shall display them in a convenient numbered list for your viewing pleasure:

One of them prefers to use straight (lol) razors to shave their...you know...I don't actually know if this is a thing people do or if it's even possible, people with balls please sound off in the comments, thank you

Only one of them actually shaves in which case I support them as an infamous pussy hair enthusiast (iykyk)

They share a razor (Please, God, no, that's actually disgusting)

Either way, this thing was on someone's balls and then it touched both their faces so I really hope they cleaned it properly!

Alright, so that whole exploration may have been a bit useless, it indeed only confirmed what we had already been told, but I spent literal hours comparing photos of ball hair trimmers and I'm not one to admit defeat. Consider yourselves peer reviewed, Dan and Phil, and maybe check out Beardscape instead! Apparently they have better, more comprehensive razors for the same price.

If anyone even more demon than me has any corroborating evidence (maybe of them using straight razors at any point or anything else razor related that they've said in the past) please let me know so I can take it into consideration! Thank you all for your time.