#oh i never thought this day would come i literally forgot i sent them to her and the way i shot out of ed like ohhhh

[maraczeks]

+

[mewhenimanangel]

need that, hamzahthefantastic

pt.1* next

—synopsis. mandy invites you to hangout with some of her friends. christmas vlog vid

notes 🫧: guys i need hamzah bad

— 🐞

you sighed with content as you finally landed on an outfit you liked. it was a plain long sleeve with a pair of loose dark wash jeans, you weren’t sure what everyone else would be wearing so you picked something simple.

your phone buzzed, mandy asking if you were on your way to her house. you sent her a voice message as you threw on your coat and grabbed your keys along with your purse and phone.

mandy had invited you over to hang out with her, martin, and hamzah and his friends, who you knew from 4freakshow.

you'd never met chase and claire before, but you've hung out with martin and hamzah a few times with mandy.

you met her when she was in nursing school, becoming friends after a few awkward encounters. she introduced you to martin and after a while you met hamzah, in person at least, since the two of you already followed each other.

you parked your car outside their house and adjusted your lip gloss in the rearview. you were a little nervous for some reason. maybe it was the fact that you were late, maybe it was the new people you were meeting, or maybe it was the vlog.

you have your own youtube channel but being apart of other people's videos always made you feel a little awkward.

you texted mandy that you arrived and headed for the front door, martin opening it before you could knock.

"someone's a little late" martin joked as he let you inside. "oh my god i forgot you guys went bald. that was a freaking jumpscare." you teased.

mandy came up to give you a hug "i know, they look insane. i did not approve." she said  before you were introduced to chase and claire. chase walked up with the camera, focused on you. "hi youtube" you stuck out your tongue.

"now that y/n is finally here, the trio outfit is complete." claire handed you a set of pajamas, matching the ones her and mandy had on. you grinned and complimented the set before hamzah came out from the back hallway.

"oh hey, didn't know you got here already" he dapped you up. "boi yes you did, literally went to the bathroom to fix his hair" claire teased. "oh wait..." chase joined in, making you laugh.

"i don't know why he's got this freaking tuque on anyways. embrace the bald dude, embrace the skin." martin pulled his beanie down and rubbed hamzah's bald head, urging hamzah to push him away.

"yo! he just fucking sniffed me" hamzah laughed, grabbing his beanie from his hand. "we're just cucking the viewers i guess" martin said, leaving everyone just staring at him awkwardly.

"yeah anyways, y/n you could go change in my room" mandy told you. "heh, just be careful what you find in there" martin leaned into a shrug. "dude stop" hamzah flicked his hand over martin's head.

once you were changed, chase made you do a twirl for the camera and you posed before tripping out.

"so how come y/n gets a pajama set, but you said no to me?" martin asked mandy. "cause she's one of the girls and you're not a girl"

"plus nobody told you to wear them freak ass leggings boi" hamzah teased him and you laughed. he looked over at you, taking in the fact that he made you laugh.

hamzah always thought you were really pretty and cool, even back when you first followed each other during the 4freakshow days. you didn't even have a youtube channel back then, only posting random tiktoks he thought were funny.

"alright y'all let's get to baking, i'm hungry" chase said behind the camera before flipping it towards him.

you stood next to hamzah as claire pulled up the recipe on her tiktok and her, mandy, and chase got started on measuring things out.

“you can’t just do it willy nilly style brah, measure it” you told martin as he began pouring sugar into the mix. “sometimes you have to live life on the edge, y/n” martin scoffed.

as you continued baking the cookies, you realized how glad you were that you decided to come. martin and hamzah were always a hoot but you really liked claire and chase too.

“noo it was my legs and he said ‘you’re scratching your ass’” claire defended herself from chase and hamzah’s teasing. “girl no i was right behind you”

“we’re having booty cookies” “we got fucking booty flavor” you and hamzah joked at the same time, causing you to crack up and slap his arm.

you took your hand off, not expecting his bicep to be so strong. he nudged you with his elbow, still laughing.

“so, are you actually gonna help bake, y/n?” chase playfully raised his eyebrow. “right, standing here doing nothing” hamzah added. “oh bitch says you, who’s actually done nothing. mr. nonchalant baldhead.” you joked, grabbing the camera from chase and putting it in hamzah’s face.

“boi get outta here boi” he laughed.

while the cookies baked, you guys moved on to putting up the christmas tree. you sat down with chase and claire and began unfolding the branches of the tree. hamzah followed suit, taking a seat on the floor next to you.

rudy walked up to hamzah, who grabbed him with one hand under his belly and placed him in his lap. “awww rudy, who’s a cutie cootie coo. ah poochy poochy poo” you reached over hamzah’s leg to pet the dog.

you scratched behind his ear, unknowing of hamzah staring at you while you did it. “alright let’s put in some freaking work guys” claire said and hamzah lifted rudy into the couch behind him.

“why do you literally manhandle everything that comes your way?” you teased. “like in the video where you’re flinging around fish” hamzah just chuckled in response.

“wait chase, i like your leggings” claire said from behind the camera. “what these aren’t leggings?”

“i’m just saying i’ve never seen a boy wear leggings, it’s a compliment”

“they’re not leggings, they’re thermals! they’re long johns..long johns?” martin retorted, displaying his leg out in front of the other. “you’re wearing fucking leggings”

you and hamzah stifled your laughs in the corner as they continued and martin teared up, walking off with the camera as a bit. “claire you actually made him cry” you giggled.

you felt hamzah lean himself closer to you, taking advantage of the laughing fit everyone was in.

after a while, the cookies were done as you finished decorating the tree, adding a little christmas bunny along with everyone else’s personalized ornaments.

you turned around to hamzah manspreading on the couch, trying to ignore your thoughts about how sexy it was and followed everyone else into the kitchen.

you all iced the cookies before doing a taste test, “boi crumbl cookie could neverrrr” you joked, as the cookies actually turned out bad. “this shit is way too sweet oh my god” hamzah said, spitting his into the trash. “ew dude have some manners” martin scolded him.

once mandy ended the vlog, you all lounged around her living room until you got a emergency text from your roommate.

“bruh, my roommate messed up something with our dryer. i have to go” you frowned. “awww noooo” chase frowned with you. “it was really nice meeting you” he said. “yeah, you’re funny as fuck” claire added. “oh i love you” you hugged her before getting your coat off the rack.

“im so glad you actually came” mandy said. “well thanks for inviting me” you playfully stuck out your tongue. “i’ll see you next time we hang out in like four to six weeks” you said, sarcastically. “ugh tell me about it” she smiled as you dapped martin.

hamzah came out from the bathroom, “you’re leaving?” he asked. “yeah my roommate needs help” you pressed your lips together. “oh…..it was cool seeing you though” he dapped you up, pulling you into a small hug. “you too” you smiled, holding his hand a little longer before your phone buzzed again.

“anyways merry christmas and happy holidays everyone! byeeeee” you closed the door behind you and head for your car.

lvryn

Liked by hamzahthefantastic and others

lvryn mini dump 💩

user omg is she the reason hamzah was acting so mysterious this video

user yall saw the way they were so close to each other this video

user love your whole life 😍

— 🐞

[srjlvr]

꒦꒷ enhypen ! and your infamous ship with them<3

idol-ot7!enhypen x idol-fem!reader .. fluff .. no warnings<3 not proofread!!

read pt.1 here!! — since you all liked it<3

ε ї з — heeseung

as if his heart eyes for you at the interview weren’t enough, heeseung started talking about you a lot in his lives, which only adds to your fan’s delusions.

he’d go on and talk about his day in his lives when all of a sudden he’d turn on some music and the first song he’d pick would be one of your songs.

“this song is so good, i listen to it almost every day, this artist y/n is really talented i really love her songs” he’d say with a big smile.

and oh, this is definitely not the end, he’d also go on and rant about the first time meeting you and tell them about those times when you bumped into each other, as if he’s telling his best friend about a new crush he has.

“i was walking down the aisle when i accidentally bumped into her, she was in a bit rush so she apologized quickly and ran away, it was so funny i didn’t know what to do” he’d giggle, “after that she saw me again and even got me a snack, that’s cute”

with delusional fans, comes the delusional tweets of fans, and the conspiracies about heeseung having a crush too (which might be true)

“if i wasn’t so sure before, now im more than 100% sure that this boy is having a crush on her, and i’m all in for it!!”

ε ї з — jay

a week after the valentine’s day story blew up, jay went on a live again, just casually talking with his fans that he loves and appreciates so much.

jay was ranting about a cake his mom made him,and explained how cool the design she did looked, to the point where he actually took his phone and scrolled through his gallery to show them a picture.

usually, when idols show their phones on lives or such, they’d turn off their notifications, only this time jay was so into it that he forgot to do it.

at the same time you, being the good old friend you are, responded to a text he sent you a few minutes ago, even before he started the live.

as he was showing his picture on his phone to the fans he also got a notification from you, it was a matter of a few seconds for fans to realize your contact name, and a few seconds for jay to realize he’s doomed.

jay tried to laugh it off but it was too late. now even those who didn’t ship you two and had doubts about it are left speechless.

“i admit i didn’t believe the valentine’s day story and their ship, but now knowing they text each other and probably do every day too? YES!!”

ε ї з — jake

your old meet up with jake was actually filmed for a short vlog, you both work under the same company so it was pretty common to meet up and get it filmed.

a few days after the scandal blew up, a really short vlog of the both of you got released.

fans rushed to watch it and see any clue of jake since it was rumored he was going to be there. the short film got around 100k+ in no time!

fans felt like swooning whenever they watched your interactions, you and jake even spoke in english, considering the fact that you both are foreigners and feel comfortable speaking in english.

jake never looked more shy than when he was literally standing next to you, holding his signed album and just waiting for the right moment to give it to you.

if you’d ask any fan that watched this short vlog, they’d probably tell you they’re 100% sure that something is up with the both of you. the way that he looked at you was something fans never saw before, and the way that you looked at him was as if you finally got to talk with your crush after years of crushing over him.

“i NEVER thought i’d be able to see both of my ults in one frame together!! i bet you a million dollars that they’re dating and fight me if they’re not!! it seemed like they tried to hide it but it looked too overact”

ε ї з — sunghoon

everyone’s favorite ambassadors!! your couple photoshoot got so famous that even people who never heard of the two of you refused to believe you’re not dating.

on your first photoshoot together, you and sunghoon did some funny tiktok challenges that got super famous to the point that people started making edits out of them.

ever since then, each time you’d see each other you’d make a tiktok together, wether it’s a dance challenge or just a very trendy tiktok hence, it wasn’t such a surprised that enhypen’s tiktok account and your tiktok account was filled with tiktoks of the both of you together.

fans brought up new conspiracies of the both of you going on short dates and filming tiktoks together, a whole new chaos was created.

if you thought these tiktoks were enough then think again because not only your tiktok was filled with the both of you, but you also made sure to take many many photos and post it on instagram.

i think out of all ships, yours and sunghoons shippers are being fed so well honestly and they never ever complain about it.

“i never heard about these two until i saw their photoshoots!! you can’t tell me they’re not dating?? and we get too many contents of them two im fully convinced they’re just dropping hints”

ε ї з — sunoo

new years awards came in fast, and all fans were looking forward to collab stages, it was rumored that a lot of 3rd gen and 4th gen are going to perform together, but fans never ever expected you and sunoo to be on one stage together.

him dancing to your performance in one award got so famous that fans even made memes about it, like “me when my favorite song is playing in one store” and more!

the thing is, this stage included only you and him, which made the fans go even more crazy. you and sunoo? on one stage? all alone? fans hoped so bad for that and it happened.

you and sunoo ate the performance, it included a lot of skinship and difficult moves that even fans who tried to cover the collab stage complained about it being really hard.

a stage between a female idol and male idol isn’t something that’s very popular lately (sadly!!!) so it was such a surprise that you and sunoo actually did it.

king and queen of kpop confirmed! your new ship nickname was formed in no time and other fans who watched your stage was mesmerized by how good you two look together.

“IM GOING CRAZY RN!! sunoo and y/n, boyfriend and girlfriend on one stage AND THEY ATE THAT PERFORMANCE!! imagine being on stage with your partner they’re so iconic for that!!”

ε ї з — jungwon

as weeks went by with you and jungwon being MCs, fans got used to see the both of you together every week, it became a routine for them to open their laptop and stream your live, they’ll always find the time to watch the two of you.

when your contract ended, fans were devastated and didn’t want to move on, they even considered to stop watching the show without having the two of you.

even in your last day, you and jungwon looked so sad and unmotivated which made fans even more sad than before. the memories you created will always stay in the show’s history and fans’ hearts.

i guess both of your fans got super lucky because your companies were smart enough to sign the both of you up to a new variety show!!

new content of the both of you together?? in one variety show?? your fans can’t be thankful enough honestly.

fans were going mad watching the both of you being too comfortable around each other, basically doing everything together and staying really close to each other.

“anyone else waiting for them to accidentally expose their relationship on this variety show? come on!! its too obvious they’re dating!!”

ε ї з — riki

ever since that time the both of you met accidentally, the coffee shop became super famous, mostly people who waits to catch the both of you together are going there.

ever since then, fate has its own ways of getting to you, and each time you’re going to buy coffee in local stores, you happen to see him too.

you once uploaded a photo of your coffee to your weverse account and fans noticed a very familiar figure, who just happened to upload a photo of his coffee with you in the background.

and if that wasn’t enough, you were caught by fans together in the same place and this time, even shared a really long conversation. it became a usual thing for the both of you to meet up whenever you’re off to buy coffee, as if you know where to go if you want to meet up.

fans refuse to believe that this is all a coincidence since the evidences are always there, you’ve been seen around each other too many times, even in photos you yourself uploaded.

at one point you just decided to upload a photo together and tease your fans a bit, and it actually worked because the next day you became trending as the coffee couple.

“coffee couple has done it again! do you think their dates must have coffee in it? like what if they go to watch a movie? popcorn and coffee? anyways im fully convinced they’re always planning it and we’re just here to watch”

••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @ohdudehesflirting @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @dhriti-stories @ariadores @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 @moons-v @s00buwu @hoonheepretty @lovelovelovebts (bold means cannot be tagged)

[lucy90712]

Can you write a prank for gavi? Reader wearing a real madrid jersey and gavi getting sad and a lot of fluff after? Thank you!

For months on end Pablo has been pranking me and every time I say I'm going to get him back but he always manages to prank me again before I can. He's done everything from put fake spiders in the house to wiping off the kisses I give him to see my reaction. They are all relatively harmless pranks he never goes too far but still he's definitely winning this prank war if you can even call it that and I'm desperate to get on the scoreboard. 

My friends have been suggesting different things I can do to get back at Pablo but they are all either pranks he's already done on me or the same idea just slight different but that's not what I'm going for. I want something that he hasn't done to me so he won't see it coming but when he's either done every prank or has definitely seen them and has them in the planning stage things are difficult. Then the day came I saw a tiktok with the perfect prank first I sent it to my friends to see what they thought and they loved it although they warned me that if I do it I'll be coming in strong but that's exactly what I want I need to get him back properly. It didn't take long for me to put my plan in action within a few hours I had the one thing I needed for the prank on its way to me. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Today is the day my package I've been waiting for finally arrived today and I wasn't about to wait so the prank I have planned is going straight ahead full steam. Opening the package I saw the white shirt and then I saw the back with ‘Bellingham’ written on it. Putting it on felt wrong the shirt felt itchy on my skin but that was definitely all in my head as I knew I wasn't supposed to have this let alone have it on but it will be worth it to see the look on Pablo's face. In the tiktok I saw this woman had a Man City shirt on as her boyfriend was a Man Utd fan and his reaction was priceless, the second I saw it I knew this would be the perfect way to get back at Pablo. I know it's slightly different as Pablo plays for Barça and Madrid are their main rivals but I don't think it's too far it's not like I'm actually going to ever support Madrid other than the few minutes of my life I spend pranking him. 

After trying it on I took the shirt off until I heard Pablo's car pulling up in the driveway which is when I put it back on and started watching a video on YouTube about how Madrid will be unbeatable with mbappe just to really grind Pablo's gears. He came in and called for me so I told him I was in the living room so that's where he came as soon as he put his shoes away. First he saw what I was watching and he seemed confused but he wasn't mad yet. As he came closer the tv was distracting him so much that he sat down next to me before realising what I was wearing. That's when he actually started to look mad he almost seemed disgusted with me.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" He seethed 

"Oh I forgot I put this on" I laughed to seem unbothered 

"Better question why are you wearing it?" He asked 

"Just felt like it" I said nonchalantly 

"Wait does it say Bellingham on the back y/n you have it be kidding me" he said using my full name which he literally never does anymore 

"You aren't really making a big deal out of this are you it's just a shirt Pablo" I said 

"You have to be kidding me it's not just a shirt you know you're dating a Barcelona player which means you can't support Real Madrid as in our main rivals if you seriously don't see any issue here then you aren't the person I thought you were" he said walking away 

Before I knew it he'd gone upstairs and I was sat on my own feeling awful about what I'd done. I wanted to get him back I didn't want to hurt him so deeply and change his opinion of me that was never the aim. The aim was never to hurt his feelings he's never done anything like that when pranking me and now I feel like I've taken it too far and he's going to hate me. I left him alone for a few minutes before I couldn't keep going any longer and I had to tell him it was supposed to be a prank and not actually hurt him. 

When I went upstairs he was sat on our bed scrolling on his phone, he must've heard me coming as he looked up but then went straight back to looking at his phone. He was definitely mad at me but not in the way I am after he scares the life out of me by putting a fake spider in my mug in the morning he was properly mad at me. I tried to sit next to him on the bed but he moved further over and turned away from me. That really hurt I guess I was stupid to think me wearing a Real Madrid shirt wouldn't be such a deal breaker but still him ignroning me felt awful. 

"I'm sorry this was supposed to just be a prank I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or betray your trust" I said honestly 

"Why did you think this would be a good idea?" He asked finally speaking to me 

"I don't know you've done so many pranks on me and I wanted to get you back and I saw a tiktok where someone else did it and I thought it would be a good way to get you back but I realise now that it was stupid" I admitted 

"You don't really like Real Madrid right or Bellingham" he questioned 

"No of course not you know I've grown up as a barca fan and I'm sure Bellingham's a nice guy but I've never met him and I don't plan on ever talking to him I support you and the team and that's it" I said 

"Can you take the shirt off I hate looking at it" he said 

He didn't even give me time to respond before he took the shirt off for me and threw it across the other side of the room so it was as far away as possible. He then grabbed one of his shirts from his wardrobe and put it on me which brought back a bit of a smile on his face. Now that I had his name and number on my back he let me get close to him and he pulled me into his arms. Everything felt a lot better now that I didn't have that stupid shirt on and my boyfriend had his arms around me. He didn't seem as mad anymore and I wondered if he was pranking me by pretended to be so mad when he realised what I was doing but that doesn't really matter. I've definitely learnt my lesson not to prank Pablo. 

“I’m really sorry” I said again 

“It’s ok I forgive you just don’t you dare ever wear that hideous thing again” he said half joking 

“Never I’ll only wear shirts with your name from now on” I said 

“Good now you can make it up to me by staying here and cuddling all evening” he said 

“I can definitely do that” I smiled 

He held me even tighter and pressed a kiss to my cheek but that wasn’t good enough for me so I leaned over and kissed his lips. I gave him a couple more kisses before settling back into his arms some could watch a movie together. 

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Ngl getting worried that "Sparrow doesn't like Normal" thing has been said so much on the show that the actual cast forgot that isn't true ......

Hi anon! Okay first of all, this was a very cathartic ask to receive, to the point that it kind of cracked me up when I first read it, so thank you, you were so real for this. I can empathize with this sentiment (though I had no plans on voicing it) and I've felt similarly for… A while honestly.

You sent this back in December (heh. classic baba.), and while I didn't forget, honestly I intended to answer this in a manner that's a bit more. Organized but… I sort of lost sight of where I wanted to go with things, to be honest with you, and I didn't wanna leave you hanging forever! Still, a couple notes and tangentially-related thoughts…

(Oh, maybe before we get into it- I assume based on the nature of this ask that you probably read this post of mine, but perhaps I'll leave it here as additional context for anyone who happens to find themselves reading this).

Okay, in Will's case to be totally real I've never confidently felt that he realizes that it's not true? If my memory serves, the first time the idea comes up at all is in episode 17:

Which irked me a bit at the time, in part because to me it feels pretty blatantly discordant with Sparrow's characterization- in general but also since he literally says this during the dance scene:

but even more so because it feels very inconsistent with Normal's degree of shock during this same scene. All the same, for a while I could still look past it, on the basis that y'know it's a very teenage thing to make mountains out of molehills and leap to increasingly cynical conclusions the way Normal tends to do, and so perhaps it was all intentional, and as both Sparrow and Normal went through a bit of growth and development, things would slowly turn out alright. :0 A bit willfully naïve, I suppose! But what can you do.

In Anthony's case… I've actually been pretty happy with what he's given us of Sparrow for the past little while, honestly. Sigh but still now and then Anthony will say things offhandedly like this (transcribing myself from episode 47 since the transcript isn't out yet):

Anthony: (…) The only thing keeping you together is the absolute ignorance you have of the fact that maybe the only person who ever showed you any real affection in the last couple years of your life is dead, and the fact that you don't know is all that keeps you going. But the only thing that keeps me going is [ADVERTIZEMENT].

And while that joke lead-in was very funny, it's also just. Objectively not true? Like even aside from all the instances of Sparrow being very affectionate with Norm (including in the dance scene), the other teens? Lark? Rebecca???? All of them have shown Normal affection in one way or another throughout the course of the show. Like, I get that he probably mostly did it for the joke but. Eh, still rubs me the wrong way I suppose.

As for the rest of the cast… It's hard to say, and I guess less important at the end of the day. The other teens' responses to Norm in the last episode make sense for the most part given their POVs imo, so while frustrating to a degree, I can't really fault them for it. Still… Hm, in Scary's case I briefly discussed what I would sort have wanted/liked to come from her own interactions with Sparrow after episode 37 here, and tbh I suppose everything outlined there is still more or less what my ideal scenario would have looked like!

So honestly I suppose that's it anon! I could talk more but I would most definitely begin to stray off topic if I did lol. Thank you kindly for the ask! 💜

[tinimmyweek]

@jimmyjrsmusoems ranks Tina/Jimmy Jr. kisses (from worst to best...kinda?)

We are officially two weeks out from Tinimmy Week!!! (can you hear that??? me, screaming in the distance???) @babsvibes actually sent me an ask on my own blog about my favorite Tinimmy kisses, but we thought we might as well put it here instead. Obviously, this ranking is just MY opinion, and I would love to hear yours! (Also, if I forgot any...sue me!) Anyway....

10. "The Gene and Courtney Show" Season 6, Episode 7

Listen....while I love that he brought her a rose, I cannot handle the second-hand embarrassment I feel when I think about how Tina is wearing a diaper in this scene. Like...I know she's dressed as cupid, but it's all I can focus on!!! If she wasn't wearing one, I think I would rank this kiss higher.

9. "The Bob's Burgers Movie"

I feel like some of you might be shocked that I didn't put the movie kiss higher (I shocked myself with it when I was making this list), but there are just other ones that I like more! I do love the "Woah." "Yeah." afterwards, and I'm pretty sure I cried the first time I saw this scene in theaters lollll

8. "Every Which Way but Goose" Season 9, Episode 14

*giggles and kicks feet* <3 <3 <3

bonus :

7. "Pig Trouble in Little Tina" Season 10, Episode 4

I know that the first one is supposed to be part of Tina's dream, but they look so cute that I wanted to include it. The actual kiss in this scene is made for me by Zeke's "Oh hell yeah!" after and Jimmy Jr.'s dazed reaction. Also, these poor kids that aren't apart of the friend group were probably soooo confused

6. "UFO No You Didn't" Season 9, Episode 9

The way that she SPRINTS down the hall in this scene kills me, and I love Jimmy Jr.'s (and Jocelyn's) reactions after. If this wasn't immediately followed by THE Zekina kiss, it would probably be higher up on my list! (That's what I get for being a multi-shipper, oops)

5. "Gene it On" Season 4, Episode 20

THEY WERE ON A DATE!!!!!! HE LOVES IT WHEN SHE'S MEAN!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

4. "Ex Machtina" Season 7, Episode 8

Obviously, I'm biased...but this is arguably the best Tinimmy episode overall, and this kiss is just...magical??? Idk??? The fire in the back??? The vibes??? Also, I considered adding the scene where Jimmy Jr. kisses the robot while the entire family watches, but I can't watch that scene without physically recoiling, sooooo

3. "The Quirkducers" Season 7, Episode 6

THIS HAD NOOOOO RIGHT TO BE AS STEAMY AS IT IS. WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG???? THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST INTENSE KISS WE SEE FROM THEM AND THEY'RE DRESSED LIKE THAT!!!! I NEED TO KNOW HOW SHE TALKED HIM INTO THIS!!!!! WAS IT SPONTANEOUS??? HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FROND TO BREAK THEM UP??? I WANT TO KNOW SO BADLY

bonus angle :

2. "Sheesh! Cab, Bob?" Season 1, Episode 6

The first kiss!!! Honestly, this is the one I struggled to rank the most. I think they've had better ones since this, but there's something so special and nostalgic about this one??? I think part of it is that I love the window scene right before this. IDK!!!! <3

"Bob Actually" Season 7, Episode 9

Was there ever any doubt about which one would be #1??? I am never NOT thinking about the sky kiss. He planned this!!! For Valentine's Day!!!! FOR HER!!!! He was so excited about it!!!!! Also, Sky Kiss is my favorite Bob's Burgers song, so it gets extra points for that. The "Jimmy Jr. kisses Tiiiiiiiiiina" part scratches my brain just right. <3

(As a side note, after typing these all out, I realized that they kiss SO many times in season 7???? If you took out the Xmas episode, there would be three episodes in a row where they kiss. They need to bring that momentum back for me personally)

If you read this entire thing, just know that I am giving YOU a (virtual) kiss on the cheek <3 Happy almost Tinimmy week, I am so so excited to see what everyone comes up with!!!!

[xmimi89er]

I MADE IT! It had been two days or so since the news, but I made it!

Goodness, I only had 42, if not less, time left and there was absolutely nothing. It was impossible to fix it, especially on a ridiculous amount of time. So, I prayed for a miracle. I asked for one because only a miracle could fix this—there was no way to get around it or over it and it just did not seem possible at all. AT ALL. But then, the miracle came!

A whole seven years worth of stress trying to get things together and fixed, it was done for in the matter of a press of a button. Or so I thought, for a little bit. You know when anger blinds you? Happiness did me, and I didn’t read what was sent to me that well that I forgot the last step in the whole thing.

And when did we realize that? Less than 16 hours (counting the night too) before I would have to sign up my leave.

And even crazier? I only had half an hour to get to the nearest machine before it closes to get my fingerprint done so I could get a digital ID. We reached the place and there was only a 20 minutes left. Logically, I could try to (maybe) wait until tomorrow very early in the morning, but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like I was on a very short period of time, and I had to hurry.

So many things stopped us on our way, funnily enough, but we made it.

I managed to sign myself up before the system closes by an only six minutes to spare.

Regardless of all of that, and how mind-blowing things could be and how I felt like I was going to burst a vein in me, we made it. We stopped the people that are fucking cruel.

This isn’t over, and I supposedly, as they worded it, “ran away from home” despite the fact I am no minor (and will be coming back). Not to mention what those people would do when they realize I have stopped them. They might just have a stroke and die—they will get angry, and while they cannot hurt me, it will still be a struggle to live with such an environment until I get a job. But that doesn’t matter, not that much.

What matters is that the impossible-to-fix, the threat over my head, is over. I will still have to endure things, but the worst is over, and that fills me to continue even more than before.

Look how the tables have turned. Funnily enough, I have fought with them the night before, and they swore that I will never get my way because, supposedly, I am the cruel one here. But no. Consequences exist. You don’t have to believe in heaven and hell and all of that, but the fact that the world spins is real, and every action has consequences. I will happily watch them fall apart piece by piece and, while I would heavily prefer being somewhere else, I will wait.

I remember writing the chapter “(Please!) A Miracle” from My Baby and thinking that, oh Sunny, I am asking for one too. Hehe.

A seven years problem is solved. Things may backfire and things normally change and never stay the same, but it is over. It stops now at 28 October, and hopefully it will be completed over soon after that.

Thank you to everyone who stayed around to check on me. To those online and in real life. It literally feels like nearing the end of a drama series, and ya all were the viewers. Good to have come to an end and to announce it. It would still take a bit before it gets all better, but it is nearing its death. I have won the key and no one can take it, now all I have to do is unlock the chains. Ain’t that cliché? But I am a writer I CANNOT HELP IT HEHE.

Anyway. Thank you so much, and I will keep updating this series of a life of mine! Take care >:D

[diary-of-a-loser-boy]

I'm this close to switching from English to Fucklish with these people-

Yours was the first blog on my feed so I'm sorry about this in advance but I need to rage

Context: A friend of mine (Chloe- she's on Tumblr sometimes) really loves to rp and she's in a google classroom with some friends from quotev and they all rp and call each other a lot. I joined it a while ago when it was first made at her request but I don't really rp so I don't go in there a lot. Sometimes there's some drama but nothing really dramatic, yk? But last night she started messaging me and she was really upset about something. She said she'd angered Ace and then Creepy (ppl in the class) and she needed help so I go to the classroom and scroll through the posts and see that basically someone (Ty short for smth- idk) was spam tagging Chloe and got upset when he couldn't get ahold of her (she wasn't online at the time) he wrote a suiside note that really upset the others. They were annoyed and thought he was lying about something he said in the note and kicked him out. Then they started worrying about what Chloe would do once she saw the note and how she would react. They muted her and when she left the class they got even MORE upset. Then after I came on and asked what happened they acted all sorry and said that they felt really bad but she wasn’t answering them. She wasn’t answering them because her parents turn off her devices at 8:30 pm.

Today she answered the emails and said she was sorry but she wasn’t coming back and they snapped at her.

Chloe doesn’t like being cussed at. She curls in on herself and stops responding. Except these people cuss a lot when they’re mad and doing it in all caps at her has made her kinda insensitive when they do it. 

Then in ANOTHER letter they later sent to her Anna said:

"Ty sent out a letter, practically his su!c!de note, saying how he was going to do stuff and said some pretty bad things. None of us really believed him, and we thought that you would blow up because he was spamming you literally minutes before he wrote it. Eventually, all of us started worrying about what you were going to think, and how annoying you’d be about it. This eventually led to us discussing some things you’ve done in the past that was really starting to tick us off. What you did to Ren was probably the final straw. Together, was came up with a list of thing’s you did, and we’re going to ask you to please tone it down a notch. Creepy and Ace were a little harder, just wanting to mute you right away, but I told them to wait. We deleted Ty’s post, and Ace wrote that letter to you. It was a little harsh, so I asked her to add that we still do love you, and we don’t want you to be mad, but rather, we wanted you to take the criticism and apply it to your RP’s."

The thing she did to Ren was forgetting to censor some sh one of her OC's did. She forgot. And it pissed them off. Because apparently it’s impossible to forget to censor some things. She was already exhausted from a test we had the previous day and they were messaging her in all caps and cussing at her and had the absolute god damn nerve to get even more pissed off when she stopped replying. 

The other things she did was just basically being really childish. And it annoyed them because she’s older than almost all of them.

It is taking every molecule of self-restraint to not fuck all of them up (some of them are younger than ME) 

“She’s not the only one struggling with school!”

No but are you being threatened with never seeing your closest friend again?

“She’s not the only one with a hard life!”

No but her life is still hard- being in the system isn’t easy. Even after she was out it’s horrible.

“She’s just so childish she needs to grow the fuck up the way she acts is stupid!”

Oh so your against age regressing?

“I don’t even fucking know what that is and fuck off with that attitude”

When I tell you I wanted to rip this bitches head off

I don’t think Chloe realizes it but she regresses sometimes. It’s just something she does. 

One of them finally lays out what age regression is for the rest of them but says

“I’m not against it…it just makes me feel awkward, like I don’t know what to say. I also never have dealt with it in my life, and it just makes me feel weird.”

I want to scream. 

It makes you feel awkward so you get mad at her over it? Really? I think you’re the one who needs to grow the fuck up. 

She loves these people. she considers them family. She's always worrying about saying the wrong thing, accidentally triggering them, not being able to help them, and they treat her like this.

She finally agreed to come back and Ace won't even let her. She changed the code for the class.

"Atp I don't even want her to come back. I'll give her the code eventually"

...

Sorry about this, I'm just really mad. Chloe has been my best friend for years and this upsets me.

Dude that’s so legit, that’s really really fucked up I’m sorry you’re dealing with that

If u ever feel like u need to vent more or something my account @let-it-all-out7 is always open

I thought u meant a different Ren for a second lol my bad

[hearteyespierce]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

oof this has been sitting in my inbox for AGES ella sorry!! i have so many opinions about music and i didn't have the energy to pick 5 when you first sent it lmao, i'm so sorry i forgot about it!!!

i've been on an I Only Listen To The Mountain Goats kick lately (in the literal sense, not in the podcast of the same name sense), but i will refrain from listing 5 mountain goats songs lmao, i do actually listen to a variety of stuff i promise 😅 though it will be difficult to narrow it down to only 1 TMG song if i'm being honest. edit post list creation: same w/ all the listed artists tbh. i think i got too involved/detailed on this lmao sorry.

when in comes to music, i get really connected to songs based on memories that get attached to them and am particularly invested in lyrics (vs my partner who is a musician and much more interested in bands doing things musically/technically unique/interesting) so my favs tend to be based on loving the lyrics first and the sound/what is interesting musically second.

but in no particular order:

Autoclave - The Mountain Goats (god this was a tough choice. Idk if heretic pride is my fav album of theirs but it IS very good. my fav album of theirs is, i think, impossible to choose. my friend dan made me a mixtape of TMG songs when I was 18 or 19 because he thought i'd dig them, and he was right. i've been in love with them ever since.) When I try to open up to you, I get completely lost / Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost / And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn / And there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn

Jealous - Camp Cope (this is from Running With The Hurricane, which is their latest album and it's gorgeous. it came out during the early days of COVID and i was living alone in LA in this miserable bachelor unit and would go on walks in the middle of the night in K-Town, where i was living at the time. i very vividly remember the first time i listened to it on one of those walks. this was also my Izzy song back in my intense ofmd days lmao. Camp Cope, my best friend Camp Cope) I'm so jealous / I'll take anything you give to me / Yeah, I'm so jealous / Oh, I'm laying at your feet / Take me, baby / You're never in the wrong / I'm so jealous / Yeah, I'm so jealous of your dog

Cactus Tree - Joni Mitchell (would have been very easy to pick literally anything from Blue but this is, i think, my fav of hers to listen to/sing along to. It's so full of longing, and Songs to a Seagull was her first album. it's so gorgeous. i've loved Joni since i was a little kid because she was my mom's favorite and i have so many good memories of listening to Court and Spark and her live album Miles of Aisles over and over and over again on the floor of the living room or in the car or on my portable cd player in the hallways at school. i used to both sing along to the songs and talk along, reciting her commentary between songs on Miles of Aisles 😅) She will love them when she sees them / They will lose her if they follow / And she only means to please them / And her heart is full and hollow / Like a cactus tree / While she's so busy being free

Easy to Love - Cayetana (i've been attached to Cayetana for years ever since I saw them open for Lemuria many years ago. even finding them through an experience w my abusive ex is not enough to dull my love for cayetana. this song makes me feel so many things and i love this whole album) And sometimes I can't articulate the words trapped in my head / The way the morning does its dizzy dance / And I can't get out of bed / I learn too late / I learn too late

Delicate, Petite & Other Things I'll never be - Against Me! (very difficult pick, Transgender Dysphoria Blues is my fav album of theirs, but I also love a lot of their earlier stuff. This song from Shape Shift With Me - and the whole album tbh - is excellent) I'm still waiting for the visions / Possession has yet to take hold of me / We all want to burn on a pyre / So tell me what kind of witch are you / The skin on your neck looks like a little thin / Don't go sticking it out for me / Like a beggar with a cold cup to fill / I am the dirt under your nails

some honorable mentions:

Easier - Nate Roy (Nate is a former coworker/friend of mine - we've drifted apart but he came out as trans when we were working together and the whole album is about his transition. i've listened to it countless times and it was part of what led to me realizing i was also trans.)

Red Wine Super Nova - Chappell Roan (idk that i need to link this one everyone knows Chappell lmao but still. I'm late to the game on Chappell Roan. i never actually listened to the album in full until this past August right after my cat died because i desperately needed something fun to listen to while i was driving bc most of my music is either sad or angry and would just encourage me to cry which is Not Safe while driving lmao. i fell in love instantly and i love this song so much)

Love Me, I'm a Liberal - Phil Ochs (i just love Phil Ochs and this song is just. funny and depressing and funny. so much of it is sadly still relevant and every time i listen to it, i think about writing an updated version of it with modern references. have genuinely asked my partner to teach me to play the guitar so i can do this. idk if anyone would even want to listen to it though lmao)

will send this ask to a few people but if anyone sees this and wants to do it, please feel free and tag me, i'd love to see your favs!

[kanazawa-division]

ARB Birthday Special: Joey Kurusu

~~ October 9th ~~

“The dead cannot cry out for justice. It is a duty of the living to do so for them.”

Login Lines:

“Oh shit! Oh shit! I’m late for work! Haaah…why didn’t my alarms go off?! I set up six of them! Man, I knew I shouldn’t stayed up all night gaming! Wataru’s gonna have my a-huh?”

“What’s this? A present? And it’s for me!…Oh crap, so that’s why my alarms didn’t go off, it’s my birthday, haha!”

Voice Lines:

“Damn, I’m 24 now. I know it’s not a huge milestone or anything but after all the shit I went through and coming close to death more times than I would like to admit, I’ve come to learn that time is very precious and I’m thankful for every minute, hour, day, and year that I’m alive….wow, that was hella sappy lmao.”

“Everyone at the station sent me a happy birthday! Even the Narcotics Unit and those guys don’t talk to anyone! Man, it feels like yesterday I was just joining the force, I’m glad to make such nice and cool friends.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I just got a text from my dad, he wished me a happy birthday….’why do I look angry?’ I’m not angry! Really, I’m not! It’s just….this is the first time he’s reached out to me in four years…yeah…I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Hahaha! Oh man, my mom is hilarious! She sent me a book a puns….a book of police puns, hehe. Oh, I am definitely going to use these on Wataru and Kyler, maybe this is the day I finally get a smile out of both of them! Wish me luck!”

“Hey Shanny….I’m sorry I haven’t visited in a while, work’s got me in a chokehold right now, especially with all the DRB stuff happening…but I haven’t forgotten you, I would never forget you. I hope you’re doing okay wherever you are, I hope that you’re happy, your big bro is working really hard to find whoever took you away, they’ll get what’s coming to them, I promise.”

“Sorry guys but I’m spending the day with my lovely Mamoru! It’s been a while since we’ve been on a date, I know it’s my birthday but I wanna make this special for him….Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, call me a simp, whatever, I’d gladly be his Tier 3 Sub!….Wait-“

“Wataru! Buddy! You’re here! And here I thought you forgot about little ol’ me!…Ouch! That’s so mean! C’mon man, we’ve known each other for how long?…You’re so cold Wataru, you’re lucky I’m here to thaw that frozen aura of yours, otherwise you’d never have any friends haha, ooooh! A gift! From you! Let’s see what it is!”

“It’s a….a….okay, I’m stumped, what even is this?….Ohhhhh…This is…nice….I guess…Hey! My desk is not messy! Maybe to you but I can easily find whatever I need no problem! It’s called ‘organized chaos’, dude, there’s a method to the madness…Holy fuck, you’re old-“

“Kyler! My dude! Good to see you, man! Feels like it’s been forever since we last hung out…that’s still too long! C’mon dude, not only are we teammates but we’re friends! We should hang out outside of our jobs! Hm? You got something for me? Your bestie? Aw, you shouldn’t have…I’m joking, gimme.”

“Whooooa, sick! A new game! Deadpool huh? This is a character from your American comic books, right? Niiiiiice! I’ve been wanting to play more western games, this is just what I wanted! Thanks Ky! We definitely have to play this together, a game night with the boys! It’ll be awesome!”

Wataru Lines:

“Hello Joey, happy birthday…to be honest, I had completely forgot it was your birthday and even when I remembered, I originally wasn’t going to do anything…*sigh* For the umpteenth time, we are not friends, we are coworkers, I don’t know why that hasn’t clicked for you…Good grief, just take this.”

“It’s a desk organizer, something I noticed that you desperately needed ever since you started working here. It’s irritating to pass by your desk and see all sorts of junk everywhere, I implore you to use it, there is only so many times I can see your Hatsuno Miki pencils and notebooks lying around so haphazardly.”

Kyler Lines:

“Sup Joey, happy birthday, man…we literally just solved a case four days ago, alright, alright, you might have a point. Speaking of, I got something for you, I figured you would like it….fine then, I’ll give it to someone else…yeah, yeah, you’re welcome by the way.”

“It’s the Deadpool video game, I had it imported all the way from America to here so you better enjoy it…Nice, I’m glad you like it, I’ll admit, you do kinda remind me of him sometimes…but without the regeneration abilities, ducked up face, and is somehow more annoying. *Sigh* Y’know what? Sure, just text me when and I’ll be there, happy birthday, Jo.”

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hi, it’s me, Fanfic Anon #2. Can I just say how blessed we have been these last week or so with all that lovely content? I still haven’t recovered. Anyways. This is my Bastille Day piece! Hope everyone enjoys.

"Now remember, chéri, we have a guest," she reminded him that morning over breakfast (in what felt more like a velvet gloved threat than a gentle reminder).

"I know," he replied, a little confused as to where this was coming from. What exactly was she worried about?

"So you need be on your best behavior," she continued as if he hadn’t spoken.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He laughed, suddenly realizing when he saw the look in her eyes what she was afraid of. ‘Oh. Right. That.’ He thought to himself. "You know that I would never, ever do anything that would make you uncomfortable or embarrass you. Right?"

"Of course," she waved it away, the slight doubt though not leaving her eyes. She knows her husband, knows how he gets caught up in the moment, and knows he’s just as likely to kiss her senseless on the platform in front of the eyes of the world as he is to squeeze her hand, especially when he sees her in her dress (or at least, she hopes he will like her dress this year, a little different, a little solaire - designed to be a literal highlight after a year with so many different shadows.)

"I mean it, Brigitte," he vowed, grabbing for her hand and squeezing it lightly. "I know how much you hate things like this, how nervous you get, how you’re the one the press goes after even when I’m the one who can’t keep my hands to myself. I love you and I respect you. Have I ever let you down?"

"No," she answered, a shy smile peaking through now.

"I don’t intend to start now. I’ll be good. Scouts honor!"

"You weren’t even a scout!" She laughed at him, the load on her shoulders lightening in the way it always does under his delicate touch, always sure of how best to lift her, cheer her, support her, love her.

"Want me to swear an oath? We have that fancy collar for the Legion of Merit lying around somewhere. I could go find it -"

"Stop being ridiculous!" She rolled her eyes.

"Ah! But it got you to smile," he pointed out.

"I guess it did."

"That’s all I ever want to do, make you smile."

He sees her smiling at him as he walks toward that platform hours later, looking absolutely radiant under the morning light, and he finds it hard to keep his promise. (She was right, she was always right, left to his own devices he couldn’t be held responsible for the reaction that dress provoked in him)

But as he lets go of the Indian Prime Minister’s hand, she is the magnet pulling him towards her, slipping his hands around her soft right one, pressing the quickest kiss to her knuckles, and pulling up to see her beautiful beaming smile as he feels her left hand settle over his. ‘Mission accomplished’ he thinks as he walks off to greet his cabinet.

She catches him grinning like an idiot at his phone while she was getting ready for the dinner that night, sliding up to him and asking, "what are you looking at? Should I be jealous?"

He laughs as he shows her the picture their daughter sent to his phone, the message reading "I saw this photo online and figured the two of you would want it. Love you!"

"Oh!" She whispers as she in the way she could read every ounce of love flowing between them in that moment.

"Yeah. Now we gotta find a place in your office to put it!" He jokes.

"My office?" She laughs. "Mon cœur, I think this would go great on all that open desk space in your office."

“How about in here then?” He gestures towards their private living room.

“Sounds perfect,” she agrees, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Just like you,” he responds before pressing a gentle kiss to her lips.

Hello fanfic anon #2! ❤️

What a delightful piece! 😍 For a few seconds I even forgot I was reading a fanfic hahaha because I can really imagine them being this playful and it’s just the cutest (and sexiest!) thing ever 🤭🥰

Thank you so much, fanfic anon #2! ❤️❤️❤️

[turn2tech]

what the fuck just happened

ok um sorry for posting this on tumblr out of literally anywhere else but i just got out of a really WEIRD relationship and im honestly not sure what else to do!!!

tws: possibly toxic relationships? (past) physical/emotional abuse

holy shit wow where do i even start

this all happened so fast!!!

ok me and my bf of 1.5 years have broken up!!! It was our homecoming dance i invited them as well as our mutual best friend, and when they got there they told me they thought it was going to be a date. They acted very upset throughout the entire thing brought down the mood all together. I'm not saying that they aren't allowed to express their emotions, but the thing is, they were there when i invited the best friend. After that, i broke up with them while we were waiting for our parents to pick us up (we're freshmen). We agreed to stay friends.

After all of that, i invited the best friend over to my house, mainly so i could complain about how they were kind of a manipulative asshole throughout the entire relation (dw, ill get to that later) and we got to talking, eventually coming to the conclusion they we should also stop being friends with them.

Me, being the irrational and impulsive prick that i am, told someone that max was close too! I told him the next day at school, not realizing i forgot to tell him that the confrontation itself was going to happen at a later date, and him, confused, went to class and asked my boyf what happened.

blah blah blah yada yada yada i said some stupid shit in a group chat, insulted them while trying to explain the situation, and was just kind of bitchy about the whole thing. Without hearing my side of the story, everyone immediately took max's side and kicked me. I understand it to an extent, but even to this day they refuse to get my perspective which is really concerning to me. I had someone i knew inside the group chat still, and they sent me screenshots of everyone saying how they never liked me in the first place and how AND I QUOTE "only ever talk about cartoons and video games." Like... damn. I would genuinely rather be punched in the face and have my nose broken by a complete and utter stranger on the street then to see that.

A few days after, the friend that started this all insisted that apologizing to the bf directly would fix everything. I gave a whole ass SPEECH about how i was in the wrong about the things i said, but i still felt our relationship was unhealthy for me. They didn't add me back to the group chat, nor did i ever have someone ask me for my side. Oh, and the inside friend? refuses to defend me in fear of getting kicked out as well.

The mutual best friend actually made amends with the bf so they aren't on bad terms, but in truth they are only there to report what he has said about me. He has said the following:

that i was emotionally distant

i ... smelled bad????

i didn't give them enough "physical affection" (i frequently said no to making out)

And that just got me thinking. The entire reason i was emotionally and physically distant was because of, well, physical and emotional abuse ive suffered in the past. Ive had terrible relationships, and even more terrible friends. I told them about this several times, and that it's not their fault im this way! clearly they don't care and have decided to take it personally, which is not my problem.

So you know what? ive got a couple of gripes with you too.

you never(rarely) showered and actively admitted that to me

you were a compulsive liar that lied about fucking EVERYTHING

you frequently emotionally presured me into staying with you, using the phrase "I'd probably kill myself if we ever broke up haha" frequently

you faked being scene (dressed the part, did not listen to the music LMFAO I JUST REMEBERED THEIR FAVORITE ARTIST IS MITSKI HELP)

AND LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST,

YOU FUCKING FAKED BEING TRANS TO DATE ME

yes, you read that last part right! the NIGHT we broke up they went to all their social media accounts and changed the flags in their pfps, as well as the pronouns in their bio, oh no, im sorry, HER BIO. I am pissed and angry and mainly sad that i didn't see the signs earlier. And hey, if you read this far, thanks.

Anyways, there's actually a lot more inbetweens to this story, including the collapse of an entire friend group, rumors, and a musical (not fucking kidding), but im tired and typing this just made me really sad. goodnight.

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 ‘oh those shows for sure wouldn’t exist without Queer as Folk. By the way, yesterday I watched that red blue movie and i was so confused cause there was no swearing and no dicks and no actual sex scenes. Cant decide if that makes it boring or what but fuck do i hate censorship, anyway back to the pretty boy’ ‘When was this filmed because Bri- Gale looks fine as fuck? Aged like fine wi- (Pulse was mentioned this second) oh…fuck nevermind, still pretty though’

And we are now at fan encounters part: Gale says people thought he was Brian ‘WHO thought he was bad at playing Brian? I will fight them right this second!’ Gale starts his not that guy speech ‘mhm tell them! Wait what is he saying? I feel like he’s just trying to hit word count. I feel like he’s talking to me. But i never criticized him, he’s perfect. It’s the writers that i have a problem with and if i ever see them, it’s on sight!’ Gale starts talking about the fan encounters *he moves his head forward and has wide eyes in shock* ‘wait what..he was harassed by guys? THE FUCK? Oh people were fucked in the heads back in the day.. still are but damn, i forgot about the celebrity culture in early 2000s’ Gale started to talk about how guys would ask him how he could even play Brian ‘oh i bet my ass if he wanted to he’d be able to argue with anyone. Id pay to see it. Not saying I want him to argue but itd be fun to watch him shut someone stupid down.’ Gale says he wishes he could go back and do it better ‘Excuse me? You were perfect! Fuck, who do i have to bully for them to give me a movie with older Brian? Imagine a movie and it starts with both of them together in New York. (He’s for sure getting your fic in the future)’ Gale mentions he hates that people make speculations about him ‘i feel like he’s talking to me. In my defense sweetheart, i just learned your name like a week ago. So sue me for thinking you were gay. (Me: ‘hes not talking about you, idiot) yeah, well, i felt attacked and you shut up, you knew and didnt tell me! Awww he’s proud of the show. I was worried for a second. He’s a good guy, i fuck with him…even if he’s *clears his throat* straight’ ‘People were mean to him about Bri Bri? I will burn this entire world down to the ground! How fucking dare they? I will fight everyone that has something rude to say to him or Blondie!’

‘Wait, is there Randy’s version too? Cause that dude mentioned Peter and Sharon. So did they all film these? Where are they? (I tell him that to my knowledge only Gale’s is out) oh COME ONNNN, I can’t fucking win with this show, can i?’ ‘Where is Gale now? Can you show me an interview from now? Or does he have IG? I am willing to start my account again for him’ I actually laughed at that and when i told him how removed he is from internet he went ‘GOR FUCKS SAKE! Theres no winning with this dude! Is he even still alive?’

And the final thoughts were:

‘Wow he is nothing like Brian, he’s so shy and introverted. A little fidgety so i feel like he’s not used of shit like this. He’s literally nothing like Bri Bri…’ me, sarcastically ‘its called acting, brother’ He looked at me like i was the dumbest person ever but also like he shouldve known this. And then immediately after that he called our mom and started the conversation with: ‘he’s straight mom! Straight! BRIAN! Can you fucking believe that shit? Wait let me send you the video’

And later after he sent that video and forced her to watch some of it. She facetimed him and went: ‘i weirdly assumed hed be like in the videos you sent but he seems really shy’ Him: ‘its called acting, mother’ *turns to me and raises his hands towards our mom like can you believe her for not knowing this*

He then notified everyone that the actor who plays his Bri Bri is actually straight and that he is shocked by the news. And then his friend told him he knew cause he googled him and my brother blocked his number for 2 hours cause he got offended.

By the way, yesterday I watched that red blue movie and i was so confused cause there was no swearing and no dicks and no actual sex scenes. Cant decide if that makes it boring or what but fuck do i hate censorship, anyway back to the pretty boy’ I AM DYING OVER THIS!

As Soph has said, Gale will use 100 hundred words to say something that should take 10. Love that for him and for us.

I love how protective your brother is over Gale and Randy, they really do deserve all our protection. People were awful to them.

It’s called acting. I’m so dead. Yes, he’s nothing like your brother’s beloved BriBri. But also, that’s a good thing? Brian is my best beloved blorbo but he’s not exactly the picture of mental and emotional well being (who is?) and I hope Gale is more comfortable with his emotions and with vulnerability. For his own sake.

I feel honored that you would recommend my fic to your brother! After he learns about the existence of fan fiction.

[sluttycinderella]

Razorgate Part Two: The Thrilling Continuation

Welcome back guilt ridden cockroaches of the scorched earth, to this absolute madness! I've decided to make another post because a lot of people brought up some good points that I want to address and some damning new information has come to light in recent days. So let's get into it!

First of all, some of you pointed out that it's actually not that weird if Dan and Phil share a razor since their junks always touching each other anyway. I don't shave and I'm sure it's pretty obvious but I've never gotten to the point in a relationship where I'd be cohabitating with a partner so I have no frame of reference for this sort of thing. I appreciate all of you who had the courage to call me out on my bitchless ignorance.

Some of you also mentioned the hair cutting videos, which I can't believe I forgot to include! It really was a glaring oversight on my part, how dare I call myself a researcher! So let's do a good old fashioned razor analysis on both hair cutting videos.

Trying To Cut My Own Hair

In Phil's hair cutting video, he refers to this as a "professional barber [razor]" (he says lazor at first, oh philly...)

This is the Surker K9S which I don't think the company actually sells anymore as I could only find it available on Ebay:

But yeah it makes sense why even if they still own this one, which who can say if they kept it in the move, they wouldn't use it for their slits as it's fucking gigantic and would probably take their entire eyebrows off.

One thing of interest is that Phil says he bought the razor specifically for this video, meaning that either they didn't have the Manscaped razor at this time or he didn't feel it would be adequate to cut his hair with (probably the latter.)

I TRY TO GIVE DAN A HAIRCUT

The Surker K9S is once again the weapon of choice for Dan's hair as well.

So in both the hair cutting videos, there are no ball shavers present unfortunately.

The Smoking Gun

So originally when I watched the stream, I had sworn that when Dan left he came back in with two razors, one in each hand:

BUT, when he goes to sit down, he's only holding one

BUT! Then the lovely user @finding-you-in-any-world sent me this ask:

And I went back and watched the part of the stream they referenced (1:45:45) actually on 1080p this time because for some reason my laptop streams YouTube at 360p automatically, AND THERE ARE INDEED TWO RAZORS!!!!

You can see in the stream that Dan comes in holding two razors, then transfers both of them to one hand, then places both of them down! Let's watch it back in slow motion shall we?

So yes, Dan and Phil do indeed own two electric razors but since I've already regaled you all with far too much information about the first razor, I thought it only fair to do the same for our new challenger.

Now a quick Google image search has led me to believe that this is the Philips (teehee) Norelco Bodygroom 7100 which has since been discontinued. The product information page claims it's for "anywhere below the neck" so not quite as damning as the Manscaped one but still very clearly not a face shaver.

But how old is the Philips Norelco Bodygroom 7100 exactly? Well, we can't be 100% sure but I did find this ad from 2016 which both puts its release somewhere around 7 years ago and is also just kinda hilarious:

So yeah, Dan and Phil do indeed own at least two electric razors! And considering one is the most recent (and incredibly overpriced) Manscaped razor and the other one pre-dates the election of Donald Trump (and is also literally called Philips) I think we can guess with a lot of confidence whos is who's.

That's all for now! Thank you for being here with me once again to share in my brainrot and if there's anything I missed or stuff you want to add, please let me know!

Razorgate: an empirical, peer reviewed study*

*there is nothing genuinely scientific about this, it is merely a result of mental illness and unemployment.

So we all saw this right?

But after this bomb was dropped I began to get curious about the other slittenings. Did they use the same razor for all of them and no one had noticed? Do they actually own more than one razor? And if they don't, if this is truly the only phrazor, then I don't think I have to tell you that raises a lot of questions.

Firstly, I went back to where this all began, Phil's Birthday stream, to identify the razor that carved the very first slit and forever cemented itself as a part of herstory:

Now that is very clearly the Manscaped logo, no question about it. Here’s a high quality photo of the logo for comparison:

(You can also clearly see in the Twitter post that it says "Manscaped" across it but I like to double check my work and I also wanted to prove that they were both Manscaped)

And it's a good thing I did double check because OP made a CRITICAL ERROR in their post! They claim that the razor in question is the Lawn Mower 4.0 when in fact it's the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra! Unlike the PUNY, PATHETIC, UNMANLY 4.0, the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra comes with an interchangeable foil blade, a USB port, and a more advanced spotlight!

How could OP be so careless? Dan and Phil would never own an outdated razor! They require only the finest in ball shaving technology!

Also fun fact: The first appearance of the Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra on the Manscaped YouTube channel falls right in between the dapg return announcement and their first video back so make of that what you will...I for one shall be sculpting my own hill out of the very earth itself, "Manscaped Sponsorship Hill", I encourage you all to join me.

So after spending far too long researching the intricacies of razors that shave an organ I don't even have, I now needed to check if it was the same razor being used in every slittening:

Here they are side by side for comparison, left is Phil’s birthday, middle is the We're All Doomed post-premiere, right is Dan’s birthday. Now it appears the WAD one is missing the logo but I'm going to go ahead and chalk that up to the poor quality of the clip I found (if anyone has a better version PLEASE hit me up so I can confirm my hypothesis). And considering the photo taken in the aftermath seems to show Phil holding the 5.0 Ultra:

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's the same thing.

“But,” I hear you shouting, “so what if Dan and Phil used the same razor for all the streams? They already said they only owned one razor so who cares?” Well this isn’t so much about proving that they’re the same razor as it is establishing a baseline. It’s hard to trust basically anything Dan and Phil say lately, what with piggate and the “pillow” bar and the fake view from the Phouse, knowing that they aren’t lying about only having one razor (to the best of our knowledge) is crucial in figuring out what exactly is going on. Remember, we’re doing science here.

And with that in mind: In my professional opinion, I can say that for all three slittenings, the Manscaped Lawn Mower 5.0 Ultra was the weapon of choice.

Sidenote: I went down a bit of a rabbit hole of Manscaped reviews during all of this and apparently Manscaped razors are kind of just a scam. This razor is $109 and they try to trick their customers into subscribing to their "Peak Hygiene Plan" which you don't actually need by offering a deceptive discount and hiding the terms where people aren't likely to see them. So yeah, fuck Manscaped and I for one think we should cancel Dan and Phil for not ethically consuming under capitalism.

But that's beside the point, we know that they indeed only have one razor and that that razor...is for balls. What does that tell us?

Conclusions

There are a multitude of conclusions one could jump to in the light of such a revelation, I shall display them in a convenient numbered list for your viewing pleasure:

One of them prefers to use straight (lol) razors to shave their...you know...I don't actually know if this is a thing people do or if it's even possible, people with balls please sound off in the comments, thank you

Only one of them actually shaves in which case I support them as an infamous pussy hair enthusiast (iykyk)

They share a razor (Please, God, no, that's actually disgusting)

Either way, this thing was on someone's balls and then it touched both their faces so I really hope they cleaned it properly!

Alright, so that whole exploration may have been a bit useless, it indeed only confirmed what we had already been told, but I spent literal hours comparing photos of ball hair trimmers and I'm not one to admit defeat. Consider yourselves peer reviewed, Dan and Phil, and maybe check out Beardscape instead! Apparently they have better, more comprehensive razors for the same price.

If anyone even more demon than me has any corroborating evidence (maybe of them using straight razors at any point or anything else razor related that they've said in the past) please let me know so I can take it into consideration! Thank you all for your time.

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 21: Valentine (2001)

The depressive feeling from yesterday didn’t magically go away by sleeping, so I’ve had kind of a lousy day. Through fault of my own, of course. Actually taking a shower and getting tea DID help (hahah I did know this) but by then it was getting kind of late and I didn’t want to rile myself up to writing. Maybe I should have… I could feel some ideas coming back. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I decided instead to watch a movie and then go to sleep “early” (which, like I’m not up to absolutely ALL hours so I guess that’s something) and the movie I picked was Valentine (2001). I’d seen it before, not when it actually came out because I was a bit too young, but probably not that long after, when I was in high school. My cousin and I watched it together, which, in retrospect, was perhaps a little weird. Anyway, I remember liking it at the time in a sort of better-than-I-thought kind of way but after 15+ years I forgot a lot. I remembered the basic premise and who the killer was, though almost nothing else.

This re-watch… I would still say it was better than I was anticipating. I tried to lower my expectations again because at the time I’d probably seen like half a horror movie ever and now I like to think I have more discerning tastes. As a slasher, it wasn’t that scary: I thought the tense scenes weren’t terribly tense, and while the kills were, upon reflection, actually pretty good (Paige in the hot tub in particular was quite elaborate but I also like the death by arrows in the weird Valentine’s Art Exhibit), nothing in it was really that revolutionary. But it was solid; it was fine. I like slashers but I don’t really care about ‘creative kills’ so much because I’m actually a bit squeamish about gore. I did really enjoy the characters, though. Am I that easily swayed by a nearly all female cast, by a group of girl friends being friends? Perhaps. Perhaps.

The… message of the film was a little hard to parse in some ways. Maybe I’m overcomplicating it. On the one hand, it’s very simple, right? All men everywhere are horrible all the time. The daily life of a woman is harassment and loneliness as she is constantly beset by losers on all sides. Like, the men in this film were almost comically terrible in every respect. The blind date who talks in the third person and takes zero hints about your disinterest. The neighbor who’s always hitting on you. The string of terrible blind ‘turbo’ dates. The ‘wax it’ guy. The father with the bride young enough to be his daughter. The gold-digging creep whose business just needs one more investment. The pretentious artist who tries to trick you into a threesome and who literally can’t hold a conversation because he’s too busy being horny. The detective who wants to ‘do something about the sexual tension’ he’s totally made up. Even the slumlord landlord is a guy! This is a 90-minute film. Every 3 minutes another terrible man shows up. And there are scenes like the speed dating and the video date guy that seem to be there for no other reason than to cram in as many losers as possible around the kills and to really beat into the audience how much it sucks being a single young woman in 2001.

Even the best of the guys, the only one with multiple personality traits, the potentially really good boyfriend, is an alcoholic and he gets scary when he’s drunk. Oh and also he’s the killer, surprise.

So I guess in this way one of the ways to read Jeremy is as an incel-type: still mad all these years later that the girls rejected him at the dance, now grown up and systematically killing all of them. And yet, I don’t know, he was more than rejected, you know? He was branded a predator, beaten up, and sent into the system, from which he basically never emerged. And it was really one girl who did that more than any of the others, but the rest (save one, the final girl) were witnesses that helped seal his fate. Of course, the nature of the slasher is that the killer IS the victim of a prank, and then gets a bloody vengeance that can only be stopped by the final girl, etc. So that’s just part of the formula. You can see what triggers the violence without condoning it, obviously, or being on the killer’s side. Maybe this is no more deep than that: he was reacting to a real harm that was done to him, but in a deranged horror-serial-killer way, because that’s the genre he’s in, and because the other message of the film is ‘wow men suck,’ he’s able to hide in a crowd of loser suspects.

But in general I’m sort of inclined to set aside the whole origin story of the killer, honestly. Adam Carr as the killer, regardless of who he was presumably-pre-plastic-surgery is the real core of the film, and the story there is coherent. He doesn’t really need a reason, honestly, if you look at it from the point of view of the women. In this sea of creeps, there’s one guy who seems to stick out as not as bad: Adam. We know he has a drinking problem but we don’t actually see him drunk or scary, and he seems like he wants to get better. The love story with Kate is sweet—maybe it will work out this time! Except, just as with wax it guy or Mr. Dot Com, there’s a secret side to Adam; he’s a monster underneath. Kate didn’t know he was an alcoholic when she met him, as Dorothy points out. It’s implied that he might be abusive when drunk (“I was afraid you would hurt me”), and what is being a slasher but just another, exaggerated, genre-specific form of abusive behavior: literally killing all her friends and a bunch of other randos around her? He honestly doesn’t need a reason, any more than he needs a reason for being an alcoholic. It’s about what is hidden, not why it’s hidden.

Some of the kills fit into this theory because honestly I didn’t really get why he killed half the people he did. The women, yes, that’s part of the whole revenge plot. The detective, okay, because he might be a threat to Adam getting away with it all. And the creepy neighbor was being weird to his girlfriend, so that was almost chivalry. But Mr. Dot Com and his ex-girlfriend were people who were bothering Dorothy, not Kate—and Dorothy was really the one most responsible for Adam’s misery! And Dorothy’s maid literally did nothing wrong at all; she was just around. The only explanation we get for those kills was ‘well when a person is lonely and angry they just do weird stuff,’ which, okay, sure.

I remembered Adam was Jeremy but not the little extra twist that he is not either killed or brought to justice and I did think that was an interesting conclusion. There’s a classic slasher backstory, classic kills, a final girl, and even an ‘evil lives on’ ending. But the mystery is only solved for the audience, not the final girl herself, and she doesn’t actually defeat the slasher. She is actually still victimized, in part by being led to believe that one of her best friends was a cold-blooded killer. Adam had his revenge on all the other girls, and he got a particularly nasty revenge on Dorothy: not only did he kill her, but he ruined her memory, just as she ruined his reputation. He was branded a rapist when he was not, and she was branded a killer when she was not. And he gets away with this! And what is Kate left with? All of her friends are dead, and her charismatic and handsome boyfriend is left to pick up the pieces. She’ll rely on him more than ever now, probably, and ignore the issues that come along with his drinking, and any red flags of his violent nature. The true hidden terror remains hidden. He’s not a comically overdrawn douche of a man like the others, and that makes him so much more dangerous. That’s what the whole movie has been illustrating—ultimately, maybe, its whole point.

[tadashiwa]

karasuno boys reacting to you sending nudes for the first time

features: hinata, kageyama, tanaka, nishinoya, tsukishima, yamaguchi, daichi, sugawara, & asahi

hinata shoyo

he absolutely loses his fucking mind

you innocently texted him "guess what i bought :D" and he obviously asked to see

and there u were. kneeling in front of a mirror. in white lingerie. and its so sheer you might as well be wearing nothing.

it's not hinata's first time seeing you in a position like this, but oh my god you sent him a picture just for him to keep all for himself of you looking like this—

he's painfully hard almost instantly, sitting back against his headboard and pulling his cock out of his shorts

instantly becomes a babbling mess and cant form thoughts

kageyama tobio

you didn't realize that oikawa was eyeing you like a man starved when you and kageyama ran into him

but kageyama sure did

and he wasn't gonna let it go

he didn't blame you, but he was just generally agitated until he dropped you off at home

but when his phone lit up with a text from you as he was brushing his teeth he didn't think twice about it, expecting a simple good night text

but he was met with a picture of you with one of his old jerseys on, the hem of the jersey in his mouth, your bare chest on display for him

kageyama forgot how to breathe

bestie if you dont answer his damn calls

tanaka

you and tanaka had been friends for a while, but you had just recently entered what one would call the "talking" stage

even when you were just friends tanaka never shied away from telling you how attractive he thought you were

and then one night you were feeling yourself, so you thought: fuck it

you texted him asking if he wanted to see this really hot picture you had taken of yourself

obviously he said yes

but what he was Not Expecting was a picture of you holding your tits in the shower, covered in soap bubbles, with your arm covering your nipples

tanaka LOST IT

he lives to serve u

nishinoya

you're sitting on nishinoya's bed as he throws a volleyball up and down at the ceiling

you're complaining about this boy you had been talking to, and nishinoya is trying his hardest not to just tell you how in love he is with you

and

and then

u have the nerve

to say

"and i sent him this really good nude and he literally just sent the thumbs up emoji—"

and then nishinoya is seeing RED

not only did this prick have the pleasure—no—PRIVILEGE—to see you naked, but he didn't even APPRECIATE IT

noya's just joking around when he says "i would NEVER—" and then he starts ranting about how to hype up a girl

but when you say "next time i'll send my nudes to you" and he can't tell if you're joking

but you're CLEARLY not joking when that night you send him a picture of your naked body on display—

he tries to play it cool but hes FREAKING OUT

tsukishima kei

you and tsukishima had been dating for a few weeks

he's clowning you because he thinks you're innocent as hell💔💔

so obviously you've gotta prove otherwise

so you send him a picture of the tattoo in between your tits

he's not even sure if you meant for the picture to be so fucking hot but there you both are and he's looking at your tattoo and he just wants to RUIN YOU—

and he's gotta make sure you know that

tadashi yamaguchi

god bless him

youre gonna actually cause him to drop dead one day

you two had done things with each other before and yamaguchi wasn't a stranger to your body

he obviously still short ciruits every time he as much as thinks about you like that though

one day, when your phone dies, you borrow his phone really quickly

but then a text from tsukishima comes through

"youre paranoid. y/n isnt gonna think u have a thing for thigh highs if u buy them a few pairs for their birthday"

and then u get an Idea.

u ordered a pair of thigh highs that night and poor yams has no idea whats coming

when they come in the mail you put on one of his shirts, the socks, and nothing else

you sit on your calves and bunch up the shirt in your hands and spread your legs juuuust enough for yamaguchi to see how turned on you are

you send him a picture and tadashi literally dies LMAO

he cant even express how bad he needs u

and u dont really grasp it until u see him again

good luck bestie

daichi sawamura

you and daichi had been together for a little over a year

he was away and you hadn't seen him for a while and you needed him

thankfully, the feeling was reciprocated

daichi made this clear when he texted you from his hotel room at 2am LMAO

my boy needs u expeditiously 💔🙏

he asks if you're awake because he wants to hear your voice

when he calls you and you can hear that his voice is a bit strained you know exactly whats going on

"daichi? you're touching yourself aren't you?"

"yeah. yeah, i am, i'm sorry i just need you so bad—" he whines

"don't stop." you state bluntly

and then daichi hears clothes rustling

and then you start moaning and whining and oh my fucking god

when you hang up to go to sleep he texts you thanking you

so you bless him again

rip daichi fr fr

Sugawara Koshi

you and suga were friends

yet you both knew that with how attracted you were to each other it was only a matter of time

and then one night you're both at a party and someone has the genius idea to play truth or dare

you and suga are both a bit tipsy and so obviously you agree

and then someone dares you to let suga give you a hickey

and then you're straddling suga's lap and he's sucking on the sweet spot on your neck and holy shit

he pretends he doesn't hear you whimper over the music and you pretend you don't feel him growing in his pants

eventually you both go home and by this point you're both sobered up

and holy shit is the hickey on your neck is big

you send a picture to suga to show him his work

but you intentionally make sure he can see your bare chest

asahi azumane

this fucking man

has NO IDEA what he does to you

he sends you a mirror selfie at the gym holding up a peace sign because its just a little thing that the both of you do

and his thighs look so. fucking. good.

and so you decide your boyfriend deserves a shot of your glorious thighs right back

so youre wearing one of his shirts and nothing else and lay on your stomach with your ass in the air

and you look so cute

and asahi almost drops dead where he stands from arousal

its what this gorgeous man deserves for living rent free in your head like this

authors note: this was fun :) send me requests!!!!