#oh hey a group of people in a... the fuck is that

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Another one that I found in my drafts. 😆

During the month of October, Eddie liked to stir up the normal amount of trouble between the two people who grew rival pumpkin patches. They had both been jackasses to him, so he caused trouble for both patches and blamed whatever it was on the other owner. He crept into the house, holding his shirt down when he was stopped by the sound of his boyfriend's voice.

"What the fuck is under your shirt?" Steve asked.

"I don't think you're allowed to ask people that, Stevie," Eddie said.

"Oh, so it's okay that you ask me to call you daddy while you spank me, but when I ask you what the giant bulge is under your shirt, it's not okay?" Steve said.

"You know what?" Dustin chuckled awkwardly from behind Steve and turning around. "I'm just going to use the bathroom in the basement."

"You should really watch your mouth around the kids, Steve," Eddie said mockingly.

"I didn't know he followed me," Steve said blushing.

"So, what's going on here then?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, the kids wanted to have a group study at my house," Steve said.

"They got a big test coming up?" Eddie asked as he continued to clutch his stomach.

"Yeah, it's on - Hey! Don't distract me. What's under your shirt?" Steve asked.

"Okay. I was going to tell you, but I kept putting it off, and the reason why I didn't want you to touch me lately is because it's made me feel so fat and - ," Eddie was cut off.

"You're not pregnant, Eddie!" Steve exclaimed.

"How do you know that I'm not?" Eddie asked.

"Okay, you look far enough that the baby should be kicking now. Can I feel our baby kick?" Steve asked, his hands on his hips, staring him down.

"She was kicking earlier," Eddie muttered, cooing at his stomach. "Poor sweet girl must be sleepy."

Eddie stared at him, a determined look in his eye. Steve stared back at him, glaring as he folded his arms. Meanwhile, Dustin just came back from the bathroom, coming upon the staring contest.

"Uh, what's going on, guys?" Dustin asked.

"I got Eddie pregnant, apparently!" Steve exclaimed and Dustin shrieked.

"It worked, but we weren't even ready yet!" Dustin yelled.

Eddie was so surprised by Dustin's outburst that he dropped his arms. A medium-sized pumpkin fell out of his shirt and crashed onto the floor. Steve looked at the mess and then looked at his boyfriend.

"I knew it! You were at the pumpkin patch again! Eddie! What did I tell about getting into trouble?" Steve said.

"Make sure that I don't get caught?" Eddie asked.

"No, I said don't get into trouble that will get you caught by the police!" Steve exclaimed.

"Why are you so worried about what I'm doing when you should be more worried what the fuck Dustin just said?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, yeah, that's a fair point. We're not done discussing this!" Steve exclaimed and turned on Dustin. "What worked?"

"Well. . .we kind of sort of found this spellbook. . .it's not even real, and we haven't even found all the ingredients," Dustin said.

"You were trying to get Eddie pregnant?!" Steve asked.

"Okay, well, when you say it like that, it sounds weird," Dustin said.

"Because it is weird!" Eddie exclaimed. "What the fuck?"

"I heard you saying to Jeff how you wish you could give Steve kids, and you sounded really sad about it!" Dustin exclaimed. "We were just trying to give you the ability to!"

"Okay, well, your heart was in the right place, I guess," Eddie said softly. "But that's something you shouldn't surprise someone with. . .you should have talked about it with us first."

"Oh, well, we weren't going to do the spell without your permission," Dustin said. "That'd be crazy."

"Yeah, that's the only crazy part," Steve said.

"We just - you've done so much for us, we just wanted to do something for you," Dustin said.

"That's actually sweet," Steve said softly. "Maybe start off with something small."

"Yeah, like cooking us dinner. . .not magically growing us. . .uh, body parts," Eddie said.

"Hey! The pages were stuck together! We don't need all these ingredients!" Mike yelled from the living room. "We just need to say the spell!"

"Abort! Abort!" Dustin screamed.

"Did you say aboard?!" Mike yelled. "They're on board. Lucas! Say the spell!"

"NO!" Dustin yelled and ran off towards the living room. "Oh FUCK! Too late!"

Steve and Eddie looked at each other, waiting for something to happen.

"Nothing to worry about," Eddie grinned. "They got ripped off - Steve, Steve! I feel weird! STEVE! I'M FUCKING GLOWING! DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO GO ON BIRTH CONTROL?! Lesson fucking learned, I'm never going to the pumpkin patch again!"

[goddess-of-graphite]

was thinking about this again and... i mean it’s not really the prompt but it did remind me of the ghostspeak-from-afar thing

anyway have this thing that was sitting in my notes for ages

.

.

“Once the doorway has been opened, it cannot be so easily closed again.”

Clockwork’s warning rings in his ears, over and over again, even as he helps the rest of his fright pack their things into the Spectre Speeder.

It is a risk. Perhaps not one he should be taking, as King-to-be, but...

There is an ache, a hollow place where another of their little ghostly family used to be. Something had ripped one of their own from them, and ghosts are not beings who let go easily. Team Phantom will not give up hope of finding their lost member any easier.

So they gather what they cannot leave behind, unsure when they will be back (if they will ever be able to return) and sequester it all away in the Speeder, along with everything they’d need to build a portal or three to the Ghost Zone, their weapons, and enough ectoplasm to keep a city running for thirty years; they say their goodbyes without fanfare and promise to call if they can get the Fenton Fones working where they’re going.

And then they leave, disappearing through the portal in the Fentons’ basement.

Clockwork said that Jason had been forcibly returned to whence he came. That is their only clue, except for the stories he used to tell - about a dark city, and a man dressed as a bat, and rooftops guarded by gargoyles.

They will start with that.

.

Jason is angry, and mourning, and half-convinced his memories of the time in between dying and living are little more than strange fantasies.

The other half of him already knows there is no way back, even if the memories are real.

(His fright is gone and it hurts- )

He tells no one of the memories. He speaks nothing of ghosts, and infinite realms, and a half-dead boy and his friends and the things they did together. Instead he settles back into a life he had left behind, a skin that feels too big for him and yet far too small, a world that is familiar in the worst of ways.

He goes along with the woman who dragged his soul back into his walking corpse until she turns him loose on Gotham, and he rages and kills and taunts the Bat with all his failures because he has nothing else.

He wrestles with the corrupted energy of the Lazarus Pit and does things he regrets. He stands on a precipice, balanced precariously between what he thinks he can live (hah) with and what he knows he cannot. He decapitates drug lords. He avoids the new Robin. He kills those who harm the innocent. He doesn’t interfere when he sees the bats in trouble. He claims Crime Alley as his turf (his haunt, wails something inside of him) and becomes a crime lord. He can’t help himself from leaving clues for the bats, that the boy they buried might not be truly gone.

He fights the Bat, once. It is violent and bloody and when it’s over Jason is left seething with rage that both is and is not his own.

So the next time they cross paths, he fights the Bat again.

And again.

And-

(There is a sound like a bell, like ice shifting, like whale song, like static and the caw of crows and a million other little things; the silent ringing of the space between stars, cold and heat and light and colour. It is a roar and a whisper and a siren’s call, a voice so familiar to him that it soothes the jagged, broken pieces inside of him.

It rings across Gotham, not heard so much as felt down to your very bones; once, twice. He is still, no breath in his lungs, and though Batman is mere yards away with hands on a batarang and a grapple, Jason pays him no attention: his sight is riveted on the horizon, searching for a figure he knows like his own soul.

The third time, Jason answers in kind: a trilling that is too loud to have come from his physical throat. It sounds like glass splintering and the silence after an explosion and the click-click-click of picking a lock, like the clang of metal against metal and the strange sound that lingers in the air afterward, like wings beating and the lyrical call of a lone bird, like a fire burning dry grass.

It contains all the things that have gone unsaid for the past two and a half years he has been alone. Pain and loneliness and anger at things he cannot change. And relief. So much relief that his limbs are weak with it.

They’re here. They’re here they’re here they’re here

They came for him.)

[wiseabsol]

(Gets to the end of the most recent Worlds Beyond Number episode. Yells out loud.) FUCK!

[arrows-and-ace-thetics]

For anyone else who may need to hear this today:

You will find people in your life who exactly what you can give is enough

You are allowed to set boundaries, you are allowed to not give everything

Looking after yourself means you can give more in the long run

You are enough

[wizardnuke]

loudly bitching about someone over the phone for 40 minutes straight at work while coworkers sideeye me. sorry. i have never shown this behavior before and itll be another two years before i do it again

[zouisalmightie]

.

[no27-autonation-honda]

I Am Once Again Begging Y'all To Be Fucking Normal About People From Other Countries

[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

Me following you has brought a lot of sonic creepypasta stuff onto my Tumblr feed and I honestly love it. I have no idea who any of those silly little scary hedgehogs are but I'm vibing with em

SQUEAAAALLLS this is making me so so happy whadda hell AAAEEEEE <3333 sonic.exe and creepypastas as a whole r a super big special interest 4 me so im so so so happy there's others uninvolved in my audience who like seeing me post about them //^__^// if you'd like a good place 2 start learning about exes out of curiousity , i'd recommend the CONTINUED: Sonic.EXE Wiki, it's basically a MASSIVE compendium of (almost) every single sonic specific exe/creepypasta there is (and there's a special section for "Classic" Exes, aka the popular ones) . There's also a TONNNN of sonic.exe retrospective videos out there that talk about the popularity boost it had because of F//N//F ( which , even if i do Not fw the base game , i'm going to admit the mod that made all of this happen , while UNFINISHED , was pretty damn good in terms of sprites and music. highly recommend the VS. Sonic.EXE ost if you want absolute bops as well as The Chaos Series & the Hoggy Holidays mod (which is so fuckin cute im gonna eat Drywall) . :3 ) , so if you're real interested and wanna get a small grasp on who all im talking about i hope these are good starting points !!!!! :O

my infodumping aside, i got so excited i wound up drawing one of my pastasonas w/ the hog himself as a thank you WAUAYUAUGH

[oflgtfol]

literally what the fuck is in the air lately ive had three guys being weird at me within the past three weeks. thats one guy a week. Stop fucking being weird

[volivolition]

[guy with chronic pain voice] i should draw pain threshold

[jikigo]

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

[earlyspringtranscendence]

btw i think one of the most impt hobbies in the world is having a mostly non-existent, mostly self indulgent crush on a professor/lecturer just to zone out to their classes to and focus instead on their hair and their hands and their dark circles speaking NAWT from experience. maybe a little bit.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

remembering a fun marble hornets trans wrights element throwback where i managed to show up for one of their first convention features & while this was ofc already [serious "hmm...Not Cis: me??"] occasions i wasn't yet out or anything like well time to suffer being known & perceived thusly....while i Was out by the same occasion the next year like well here i am again, different name, binder, no plans to give anyone any rundown about this thing, hope it goes smoothly anyways and/or i'm effectively giving a reintroduction anyhow even though i May have been up to more memorable things that last time....no conversations needed to be had, i think i had the impression i was recalled as the same person but it was an entirely chill time, just this as like an early and pretty unique Occasion of like, here's people who know me from In Person (and ig Kind of online, i also don't recall ever like distinctly linking said in person appearance to onlineness lol. it just may also have not been an unsolveable mystery or a mystery at all. but mostly in person, and that's the element i was focusing on anyways) and my showing up transly in person with a whole other name this time as the major difference really lol. like well hope this goes swimmingly....And It Did. and at some point not eons later ya boy tim with some cringe comp sincerety like oh let me make this post somewhere about how an epic element of being a known internet creator is meeting new & various people including explicitly the [mh fans are like exclusively The Gays. and then some unfiction posters] factor & i'm like lol well you're welcome. just doing my part. but fr that was neat like i'm glad to get chill indirect & direct trans validation from internet horror series contributors in that immediate period of coming out & having to sweat it like damn wasn't at this point last time around

[pocket-deer-boy]

you need to be around freaks and weirdos who dress ugly and have weird kinks because the more you're exposed to it the next time you see a conservative try to get you scared about ugly drag queens you're not gonna think "oh my that is a scary drag queen she must be doing scary things" you're instead gonna think "hey that looks like the people in my friend group. that's a relatable down to earth person. what's your fucking problem"

[lilgynt]

i’ll say it baby sitting too drunk dudes is not fun hold ur liquor better

[catboybiologist]

The year is 2030.

At the Cincinnati stop of her "world tour", Taylor Swift ends her set. As she walks off the stage, she leans into a nearby mic and says "oh by the way, I'm lesbian".

She's still milking a public relationship with a man named Chett Whitesman, so this is met with a combination of cheers and confusion. Immediately, the media mobilizes. They have to intercept her before she gets onto her private jet, and ambush her for an interview. Luckily, this has become much easier these days. Since the release of her 2027 album, "The Carbon Emissions of my Heart", T Swizzle has performed a ritual sacrifice of an endangered species on live camera every time she boards her jet, a #girlboss way of saying that her emotional pain can only be healed by the tortured screams of drowning polar bears.

(Since this practice started, a devoted faction of Swifties have started a carbon negative algae farming commune, with the express intent of negating taytay sweezie's contributions to climate change. Apparently "her tortured soul deserves to pollute without guilt". They haven't even come close to their goals.)

Taytor Twift is intercepted after this ritual, as she's walking up the steps of her plane. When asked what the lesbian statement was about, she nonchalantly says "oh, I thought it was clear that was a joke. Anyways, G T G!" , before biting into the still beating heart of an emperor penguin.

During her flight, discourse on the newly renamed twitter-X-ElonIsExtremelyVirile Corp goes nuclear like it never has been before.

There's a camp of swifties thoroughly convinced that her relationship with Chett is all a beard so that she can still keep touring in the New Christian Republic of Florida, and the interview at the plane was deepfaked.

A different camp of Swifties feels insulted and betrayed that she would be anything less than a paragon of allyship. To them, this is the worst slight the queer community has ever experienced.

A third camp of Swifties insists that she *is* dating Chett, and is also a lesbian. They get insulted that anyone would police Taylor's labels. Comparisons to the Boulder, Colorado shooter are made.

A group of non Swifties tries to point out that everyone is fucking insane and that 'ole taytay regularly tear gases pride rallies to make way for her promenade to stadium venues, and who the fuck cares about this shit and point out that what a billionaire celebrity does for five minutes of PR is not worth your attention or discourse, nor does it warrant harassing other people for the labels *they* use, and isn't it really fucked up that Taylor is making a joke of how people describe their identities? They are promptly doxxed, harassed, and banned.

Bi lesbian discourse is off the charts. Nothing Taylor said has anything to do with it, but it happens anyways.

A lone transsexual who actually goes outside once in a while tweets "hey guys isn't it kinda fucked up that 2.4 billion people have been displaced by mega storms this year that her jet contributes to and is also specifically designed to fly over" and is promptly doxxed and harassed off the platform.

After an exhausting 9 minute plane ride, Tailing Swiffer lands in Columbus for the next performance of her world tour. She unveils a new single that contains the line "ride my horse after dumping him, stepping up onto my SAD dle".

All is forgotten. All is quiet. The Swifties continue as usual, moving on to the next discourse about these lyrics.