#oh god. i feel so terrible. i mean i needed a nap i had like. four hours of sleep & this morning was pretty unpleasant. but. ghhghh.

[intertexts]

ohh god post warm summer afternoon nap malaise.

[romana-after-dark]

Our Gentle Sins: Part 5

Dark!Logan Howlett x fem!reader

My god this header is ass but I was an emo kid what can I say

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Chapter summary: Past. You get sick Present. You can't help fall into him.

Warnings: This fic features non con, pregnancy, and themes of religous trauma. I will not be saying everything that happens to warm you, by clicking read more you are prepared for extremely dark themes and that you at 18+. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

2.6 words

a/n: Mean girls reference for mean girls day1!!

Before

This was terrible. Absolutely awful. You were feverish, dizzy, nauseous, diarrhea… all of it. You knew you should say you can’t work… you were barely functioning, you didn’t want to get your kids sick, but your anxiety simply didn’t allow it. When Charles greeted you this morning, you felt awful and considered asking if maybe it was possible for you to potentially go to your room early today…

And yet, when he greeted you and asked how you were, you lied and said a cheery, ‘wonderful!’.

For the last few weeks, you and Logan had lunch together almost every day. You started making extra for him and bringing him a fork, just in case he comes. This last week, however, he hasn’t shown. You didn’t blame him. What a man doesn’t want after kissing a woman is for her to freak out, lock herself in a changing room for 20 minutes and cry, then proceed to not speak as he drives her home. Not your best moment, if you were honest.

But it had taken you by surprise, and with a myriad of guilt swirling in your head, you’d worked yourself into a panic attack. It was happening so fast, so fucking fast and you weren’t ready. 

Logan was… you wanted him, you wanted him so fucking. The strong muscles busting out of his wife beater, the way his jeans hung low on his hips, the way that if you asked him to reach for something for you, you could see a trail of hair leading to something making you blush. Sinful thoughts swirled your head, always making your fingers trail over the cotton panties on under your night dress… but you couldn’t fathom him actually wanting you until that moment. When your lay in bed, pj’s looking like something out of little house on the prairie rather than the lingerie you were sure a man like Logan was used to. He was probably drowning in pussy, women who were far prettier and sexier than you.

Women who didn’t come with baggage

Women who didn’t do the things you had done.

It was no wonder he was avoiding you. He could slide himself into one of the many beautiful, mentally stable women here. He’d probably gone and done that as soon as you’d gotten home, realize you weren’t worth the- Oh fuck.

Rushing to the bathroom, you throw up, making it quick before cleaning up and getting it to gether for class. You could make it through the day. It would be fine.

It was not.

Most of your classes you just gave them reading time, or to work on other school work which they were grateful for. Occasionally, someone would come up and ask a question as you did your best to avoid breathing on them; if someone got sick because of you, you’d never forgive yourself, but your fear of rejection made it difficult to express your feelings. For all the talk about women being the emotional ones, somehow you were never allowed to express them. Even as a child, you were hit for crying, until you learned that voicing a need was disrespectful. You wouldn’t disrespect mr. xavier like that.

As your students filed out before lunch, you had grand plans of napping on your desk during lunch before you straight up passed out. Those plans proved silly when Logan walked into your room, looking like a kicked puppy.

“Logan, I’m sorry-” You were about to apolgize for the panic attack, but he started talking first.

“I know you probably hate me-” 

You both stop and blink. 

“No, I’m sorry. You took me out trying to do something nice-”

“No, no,” He interrupted. Logan stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I… shouldn't have done that, the kiss, I mean.”

Your face feels warm at the mention, but that honestly didn’t mean much. You’ve been warm all day. Still, you didn’t want Logan to think you were some crazy homeschooled jungle freak. All you wanted was to just be normal.

You try to stand. “That’s s-sweet of you…” That attempt didn’t get far, feeling dizzy as the room swirls around you. Vaguely, you can hear Logan call your name in a question, but it’s hard to hear over the muffled sound in your ears. For a moment, you’re falling, then rising again. Logan had you in his arms, and you cling to his plain white shirt as you come back to it. He’s already carrying you out of the room.

*

Logan is aware of the attention on them. Prying eyes of teachers and whispers from students, gossiping about the pretty little teacher in the arms of the local asshole. No one would get it. No one understood what he felt for you, not when he barely understood it himself. He came to apologize, to ask for things to go back to normal as if he could ever be normal about you, but the distance was killing him. He needed those lunch dates. He needed watching movies with you in the lounge tucked away on the other side of the couch like you were nervous. His gentle baby doll, needing him to guide her. He couldn’t live like he was now, not after tasting you.

Then he saw you there, looking flushed and unwell, and thank god he moved closer to you because you passed out into his arms. 

“Logan, what the hell did you-” Scott tried to talk to him, but Logan brushes passed with you in his arms.

“She’s sick. Can you figure out someone to take over the class?”

But Scott was insufferable, putting his hand on Logan’s arm to stop him. “I’m gonna need you to tell me what’s going on.”

“What the fuck does it look like?” Logan snapped, turning around quickly. He regretted it when your little hand tugged on his shirt, groaning. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m gonna get you to bed.” He looked over at Scott with a glare. “As soon as Mr. White knight lets me go.”

If Scott could take off his glasses, Logan was sure he’d see his eyes roll. “Just- fuck, why is she unconcious?”

“Because I drugged her.” Logan deadpans and waits for Scott to open his mouth. “No, dumbass she’s sick. She’s fucking burning up.”

To his horror, Scott reached for you, and on instinct Logan pulled away. When Scott glared at him, Logan aquiessed.

“Jesus… that’s not good…”

“Yeah, it’s not, so if you don’t mind, I’m going to take her to bed so she can rest.”

Logan felt Scotts eyes on his as he walked towards your room.

“Make good choices, Logan…”

*

Logan didn’t leave your side the rest of the day except to get you water. He called Remy to get your medicine, and the man showed up in a jiffy trying to fuss over you, but Logan practically kicked him out, saying you needed to rest. Truth was, Logan didn’t want anyone else touching you. You didn’t need anyone else, you only needed him. He was gonna take care of you. Logan kept a respectful distance as you sweated your fever out, sitting on the chair in the room and watching Tv after you deliriously requested bobs burgers. This was the last thing he expected you to watch.

He never touched you anywhere unnecessary, and when you asked for his help getting to the bathroom, he closed the door behind him to give you privacy. When he heard you washing your hands, Logan panicked a bit at the idea of you standing without his help in this state, and entered the bathroom to walk you back to your bed.

“I’ll be okay, Logan. I can walk by myself now. I'm not a doll.”

“Yeah, you are. My dolly.” He resisted the urge to kiss the top of your head as he tucked you into bed again.

“Lo?” You mumble, some song playing on the show in the background.

“Yeah, baby doll?” 

“Can you lay with me?”

He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. It was a step in the wrong direction, crossing boundaries that were blurring every day… but he could never say no to you. Not ever.

Which is why when Charles came in to check on you, and he found you asleep on Logan’s stomach, he knew he was in trouble.

“Staying away from her, are me?”

“Listen, Chuck I know it looks bad but she’s-”

Charles voice remained cool, but Logan knew he was in trouble. “Sick, yes, I’ve heard. Cyclops has informed me she fell sick. I’m glad you are taking care of her, by surely Gambit could have handled it.”

“Remy don’t know what the fuck she needs.” Logan snapped, sounding overly defensive. Yeah, logically Remy probably could’ve handled it, but he doesn’t know you like he does. Logan was the only person who could give you what you need.

“I believe Gambit is her friend. He would take care of her.”

“Cut to the chase, wheel. Am I in trouble?”

There was a pause of silence, Charles glancing to the TV, then back to Logan. “I told you before, I won’t tell you what to do. But has she told you about her past.?”

Logan swallowed, a bit of anger bubbling up in his at the little knowledge you gave him. “Some. She was homeschool, weird church stuff. Teen marriage.”

He nodded. “Her husband beat her, quite severely. Frankly, I can’t believe she survived it all. Parents, courts, police, medical, at every corner of her life this child was failed by the system, and she is a child, Logan.”

“She’s twenty thr-”

“And you still have 150 years on her, give or take. And considering how she was raised and the lock and key her husband kept on her, mentally she’s younger. I took a chance on her because she needed it. She has a good heart and is skilled at what she does even if she doesn’t know how to divide or what a mitochondria is. Just as I’ve taken in everyone here who is lost, a stray, abandoned by the ones who claimed to love them and cast aside by the world. There are many beautiful women here, Logan. You are a handsome man. You do not need to go after the girl about to fall apart.

But he didn’t understand. Charles could never understand. He didn’t get that Logan didn’t want the other women here, he didn’t want anyone but you. You were meant for him, and he was meant for you.

After

It was getting harder and harder to pretend that you weren’t pregnant. Harder to act like you were fine and getting through the day.

Harder to avoid Logan without making it obvious you were avoiding him, when all the students and teachers were well aware you and him used to eat lunch together and spend most of your free time with him or Remy.

Harder to ignore when you were vomiting in the morning. It was bad, it was so bad and you didn’t want to think about the future, but this was forcing you to content with the fact life was inside you. You didn’t want this baby… not like this, anyway. You had dreamed of this life, even dreamed of it with Logan. A baby in your, happy little job at the school, Logan by your side… You didn’t understand why he did what he did to you, what you did wrong. Why he had to disappoint you like everyone had. 

When the door to your bathroom opened, you didn’t have to look up. Soon, large hands were wrapped around your hair as you threw up, and you didn’t have it in you to tell him to go away. He wouldn’t listen anyway, he never did.

Logan could smell when you were throwing up, always lurking nearby and with his heightened smell, he was always on you. So, this had become the routine. He was allowed near you for this. Logan would hold your hair, rub your back and whisper gentle words while you got it out and for a moment you’d pretend, pretend he hadn’t violated you, that you weren’t scared of him. Pretend like you were a cute little married couple awaiting a little bundle of joy and attending church and he was the love you thought he could be, protecting you and caring for you. When it was over, Logan helps you brush your teeth and wash your mouth.

As you stare in the mirror, you don’t recognize yourself. You looked tired. Thinner. A mess as Logan stood behind you brushing your teeth. That’s when the bubble began to crack and you remembered that you let your rapist touch you again. That you were just as weak and pathetic as you had alway been. That you were trapped, always trapped, doomed by your body and your womb and your heart that was always bleeding for some sad soul and now you were beginning to rely on Logan again.

He wiped your mouth with his sleeve, rugged flannel gentle on your lips. Sweet as he ever was.

“I have to go, for a bit.” When you looked at him through the mirror, he clarified. “Maybe a month. Maybe less…”

You blink. “No.”

He blinks right back. “What do you mean, no?”

“I mean, you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to do what you did and then just leave me alone!”

“I’m not.” Logan turned you towards him, and you hated that you just wanted him to hug you. “I’m coming back. It’ll give you some space, and when I get back we can talk, and… we can figure things out… and we can get you to a doctor, dolly.”

The idea of going to a doctor again, especially another OB/GYN, was scary… the idea that soon, you wouldn’t be able to hide what was happening was even scarier. But the idea of doing this alone, without Logan?

“No.” Your eyes fill with tears, already partially wet from the puke. “I need you now! You don’t get to just break me and walk away!”

There's silence for a beat, but then he sighs. You can see a softening of his features, maybe a little smile. He was happy you were depending on him. You knew you were falling down the wrong path, but it was so hard not to. You parents said this was who you were meant to be, that it was biological, Gods plan for men and women… were they right all along? “There’s a girl, western Washington area, pretty rural. Mutant. Her family is…. They think she’s possessed. Performing exorcisms on her. She’s not gonna live… Kurt and I are gonna help her, hopefully bring her back. She needs help, dolly. No one helped you, but we’re gonna help her.”

Logan knew that would get you. A girl in a strict religious family being abused? Yeah, it was a chapter out of your book. Most of the chapters, honestly.

You sat back against the counter, pajama dress still on. You close your eyes. “What if I end the pregnancy? You just gonna do it again?”

Slowly, he raises a hand to your face, and despite his efforts to be careful you still flinch. “What happened will never, ever happen again, Dolly. I could never really hurt you, don’t you understand that? You won’t get an abortion. I know it. But we’re gonna figure this out. You, me, our child.” A hand on your stomach. “A family.”

Thank you all so much for your love!!!! Dont forget to check out the spotify, and telling me more songs!!!!

A few questions about remy last chapter

Let me know your thoughts on the story below!!!

Comments mean the world! It's what keeps me writing. I dont need reblogs (although they are helpful to spread my work!) but interactive comments are s special. theorizing or noticing little things makes me melt.

@multiversed-daydreamer @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @del-ightfulling @miraclesabound @hindi-si-ikay @samsamsantos @madamerubrum @shybluebirdninja a @hornystan @rogueinmymind @accountforreading123 @yawnetu @princessanglophile @and-claudia @new-genesis1000 @teaganthemorningstar @oldloganslittleslut @zaggprincess2

[thechekhov]

Chekhov Reads Dungeon Meshi: CH50

This has huge 'rocks fall, everyone dies' from the DM energy.

Or maybe you stepped through the mushroom DNA-shuffler circle last chapter and now your stomach is trying to digest you from the inside out.

Oh gods. He's a dwarf. They got freaky Friday'd.

............I have no comments for this. I don't know what to say.

You know. I've seen this panel many times. But for some reason I thought this was like, an omake or a side chapter.

Unless this IS a side chapter? Is it all a dream??? This IS chapter 50, right?

....yeah, Chil? You don't seem thrilled.

LMAO. The cover redraw!

And apparently Izutsumi kept her long tail.

Elf!Senshi just having magical wind in his hair the whole time is high key hilarious. Where is the breeze coming from? Maybe he's born with it.

Also, are those giant spools...?

Ahhh, right, Halflings are known for being more sensitive than the other humans.

I'm just happy he finally got his, and got to pet Marcille and Laios on the head. :)

"The ground is so far away! It's scary!" LMAO. That's real.

Laios as a Kobold. Finally, he could achieve maximum fursona.

.....ah, well--..... yeah.

Hey, it's the door!

Arriving to really important places under really silly circumstances - that's two for two. (I'm specifically talking about the frog costumes but there may be others)

...isn't this door like. Super rare? Very difficult to find?

And you're telling me some other randos have already been here and didn't even clean up?

Laios, I love you, but Chillchuck JUST told you there was no remedy that he was aware of aside from just like, forms of torture.

You're not thinking this one through, buddy.

He was hibernating.....

But actually - they DID call for the winged lion's aid, right?

GASP

What if.... Kensuke.... IS the lion!

AH SHIT. If she's a halfling, then that means she's bad with magic, right? They have low tolerance to the feedback magic gives or something? I don't remember the details now but...

Wuh-oh. (I don't think that's how agitation works in any species, but sure. For the drama.)

Why is he the only one who suffered a severe personality change...?

Apex predators need their naps.......

Sacrifices have to be made, Toshiro.

Izutsumi Got. That. Ball. Bell.

......Mechanus?

Where DID you get that from? You had one food poisoning scare, that doesn't mean it's not real!

I wish I could feel this level of peace while cooking.

Ah so.... this is not a place of honor?

It sounds like there's two cultures that got REALLY into the space race, turned a cold war into a hot one, and are now going "well, we can't have nice things because of.... us. because of us. but you all still can't have nice things!"

That might be.... a terrible idea.

[starman-jpg]

You Gotta Let It Out Soon

slight tw: verbal abuse and attempted assault. Overall, it's just Steve's dad being a terrible father.

Please be kind to yourself if you choose to read this.

Title from "Daddy Issues" by the Neighborhood (Seemed fitting)

Steve was late.

Dustin is going to give him so much shit.

He didn’t mean to take a nap, honest.

He had to lay down because he felt a headache coming on, and he really didn’t want to deal with it.

Were his eyes closed? Yes.

Did he feel himself nodding off? Well… yeah.

But that’s not the point! He didn’t mean to.

He rushes down the stairs, his keys in his mouth as he awkwardly hops on one foot getting on one shoe before doing the same with the other one. It wasn’t until he looked up that he found he was being watched.

He stands up straight, taking his keys and shoving them in his pocket, keeping a tight grip on them.

“Dad…”

“Steven.”

“W-what are — When did-”

“For God’s sake Steven, stop being an idiot and finish your sentence.” His dad was already done with him.

“What are you doing here?” That’s a safe question.

“It’s my house, Steven. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

Steve shrugs, “You haven’t been here for months. Haven’t seen you since February, it's November now. ”

His dad scoffs, rolling his eyes, “I’m a very-”

“Very busy man, yeah.” Steve finishes that same lame excuse his dad gives him every time, “You mentioned that once or twice.”

“Don’t talk back to me Steven.” His voice went stern, “You have the nerve to act out when the house isn’t even cleaned and the fridge is empty. How are you living Steve, like a goddamn barn animal?” His dad may have a point, the house could use some cleaning, and he definitely needed to go to the store, but honestly, he wasn’t expecting him to be home.

“My bad, I’ve been busy.”

“Do not make excuses Steven-”

“I’m not making excuses!” He talks over his dad, “I work 10-hour shifts and when I’m not working, I’m helping some of the kids I look after.”

“Like a babysitter?” The tone of his dad’s voice is condescending.

“Yeah, like a babysitter, sure.”

“You’re a grown man, Steven. You can’t even take care of yourself.”

“Well, I did though, didn’t I?” Steve crosses his arms, shrugging, “You and Mom weren’t around. Took good care of myself then.”

“Your Mother and I were around enough.”

Steve can’t help but laugh, “Seriously? You’re serious right now?”

“Stop laughing Steven! We are your parents. We raised you to be better.”

Now that caught his attention. “You raised me? Seriously?”

“Of course we did. We gave you a roof over your head and kept you fed-” His dad kept listing things, but Steve just heard white noise.

“You didn’t raise me.” Steve mutters, keeping his eyes down. His father stopped, clearly hearing him.

“Say that again?” He was clearly taunting Steve, and Steve fell for it.

“You didn’t raise me.”

“Steven Richard Harrington, do not talk to your father like that.” Steve cringes at his full name. Especially his middle name. A reminder he’ll always be connected to his father, even without his last name.

“I did though you left when-”

“I did not ‘leave’ Steven. I had work to do, and it was important.” “More important than your son?”

“You were old enough to take care of yourself.”

“I was NINE!” He screams, a tear falling down his cheek as he points his finger at his father, “You left me to fend for myself when I was nine!”  

“Oh boo-hoo, grow up Steven-”

“I have!” He screams again, finally letting out all his pent-up anger, “And you would have noticed if you were around. But you weren’t.”

He gets into his father’s face, “While you were off screwing every woman you laid eyes on and mom was drowning her sorrows at the hotel bar about her pathetic excuse of a husband, I was here. Growing up. I taught myself how to use the stove and how to buy groceries. I taught myself how to fix things around the house. I even taught myself how to drive. You did none of that.”

“I have paid for this life you are living. This house! That car! Those tutors, even though they were useless.” His dad runs a frustrated hand through his hair. It physically makes Steve ill. “God, I raised an insolent, unappreciative son.”

“You didn’t fucking raise me!” He yells, his throat already getting raw from the explosion of emotions.

His father stopped, staring daggers at Steve.

He senses it before it happens. He sees the anger on his father’s face and just knows. As his father’s hand flies up to slap him, he catches it. His nails digging into his father’s wrist, his knuckles turning white. The shock on his father’s face makes him smile.

He leans in close, taunting him, “You can’t fucking hurt me, I have fought worse things than you, and I have always won.”

Steve knows he has to look crazy, he can see it in his dad’s eyes. He’s scared of Steve. Good.

He shoves his father’s arm down to his side and walks by, heading up the stairs. He’s done and he means it. He grabs his duffle bag and shoves a bunch of his clothes and toiletries into it. He grabs his unused backpack and takes down all the pictures everyone hung up, carefully putting them in his bag. He grabs some other miscellaneous items that mean the world to him: like the rock Eddie gave him because it was pretty, the walkie Dustin gave him so he would always know everyone was safe, the little notes Robin would write on post-it notes and slap onto his wall. He took all of it.

With his backpack on and his duffle thrown over his shoulder he grabs his keys from his pocket and goes back downstairs. He sees that his father moved to the living room, so he tries to sneak out quietly.

Of course the Gods didn’t think he deserved a break.

“Where do you think you are going, Steven.”

Steve’s shoulders drop, and he turns to his dad.

“I’m leaving.”

“If you leave this house, I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” He challenges. “No, seriously. What will you do?”

His dad looks him straight in the eyes, “I’ll sell this house, and you’ll be on the street. Your mother and I will never come back to Hawkins.”

“Good fucking riddance.”

Steve opens the door and walks out, he knows his dad is yelling at him. Probably calling him all sorts of names, but he was done.

He throws his bags into the passenger seat, gets in his Beemer and drives off. His shoulders relax as he watches the Harrington house get small in his rearview mirror.

---

Steve didn’t have a plan when he left. Just knew he had to leave.

He continued to drive aimlessly around Hawkins before pulling into a familiar trailer park. He parks next to the van and gets out, jumping the stairs and knocking, rather impatiently, at the door.

He hears Eddie mumbling to himself, most likely annoyed he had to get out of bed, before the door swings open.

“Stevie!” Eddie’s once annoyed face instantly lit up, but slowly it fell, “What happened?”

“Huh?” Steve can feel the lump in his throat, and he feels the tears on his cheeks. Shit, how long had he been crying. “Shit.” He furiously wipes away his tears.

Eddie ushers him inside and moves him to the couch. He envelops Steve in his arms, letting him rest his head on his chest, hearing the rhythmic beating of his heart.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” Eddie coos.

Steve cries again as he explains what went down with his dad. Eddie comforts him the whole time, letting Steve take his time. When he was done, Eddie was furious.

“He kicked you out!” He softly yells.

“Technically no, I left.”

“But he just allowed you! And he almost hit you!”

“But he didn’t. I just was… overreacting or something.” He shrugs it off, but he knows Eddie won’t.

“Stevie, look at me.” Steve does what he is told and was a little shocked as Eddie gently took his face in his hands. “No parent should ever, ever hit you or even attempt to hit you.”

Steve slowly nods, “Yeah, but-”

“No buts. Steve, you can’t keep sticking up for your dad. He’s an asshole. You know it. I know it. Most of fucking Hawkins knows it. Why do you still protect him?”

“He’s my dad, Eds.” He says like that's an explanation. And it is, in some ways, but not the way Eddie is looking for. “We had good times, before the bad. Before he left. And I know he’s capable of that good. He has to be.” He feels himself choking up again, “He was a good dad.”

Eddie pulls him into his chest, letting Steve cry it out.

Steve sometimes forgets that there was good within his dad. That he actually had good memories with him. But that was before the Harrington business picked up.

His dad would take him to play catch in the yard. And shoot hoops with him. As a family they would go on drives and on picnics. They’d watch movies and listen to music and dance around. When Steve had a nightmare his dad would come in and read him stories as he fell asleep. They would get up early and make breakfast for his mom in bed on Mother’s Day, softly laughing as they brought up waffles and coffee for her. There was a time his dad would go to his little league games and cheer him on as loud as possible.

But then his business picked up, and it was like all those good times disappeared.

“Stevie, I’m sorry. I know he’s your dad-”

“You’re right though,” He croaks, “He’s a terrible father now. He’s a completely different man now than he was then. It’s- it’s just… hard to let go.”

Eddie nods, running his fingers through Steve’s hair. “I know, baby. I know.”

They stay on the couch, Eddie comforting him until Wayne gets home. Eddie briefly explains what happened with Steve’s dad.

“You stay here as long as you need to, boy. You got that? This is your home now. And you're safe here.”

Steve nods, another round of tears falling down his face as Wayne hugs him tightly.

Steve slowly puts his stuff around the trailer, not too much though. Just hangs his clothes with Eddie’s and puts his toothbrush in the holder.

He finally feels like he’s in a home.

And when he and Eddie drive past the Harrington house and see a “For Sale” sign in front, it feels like weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

[lemoncrushh]

Too Far From Texas | Chapter Ten

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 8656

By the fourth flight and hotel, I was starting to understand how it might feel for someone like Harry to go from city to city, night after night. The Nashville and Dallas book signings had both gone well, but I was ready to go home. I missed my kids terribly. And though Lorelei was a good companion, even having to spend hour after hour with her was starting to get old. She’d apologized for the Brandon fiasco, but I could tell she was getting restless too.

I hadn’t talked to Harry on the phone since the day I’d landed in Nashville, but we continued to text each other when we had the chance. With the time difference and our schedules, hearing each other’s voices or seeing each other’s faces was not all that feasible, but we made it work.

I’d learned something about Harry. He was a flirt. And I learned something about myself. I liked it...a lot.

After the hotel robe photo and the eggs comment, it seemed like he knew he was onto something, so he would tease me here and there with similar photos and captions. It was like having our own private instagram conversation. Just that morning before Lorelei and I hopped into a cab to take us to the airport, Harry had sent me a photo of his boots. Not any ordinary boots, mind you. Certainly not the usual brown boots I’d known him to wear. These were metallic silver and blue with red stars up the sides.

Wearing these for you today. They scream TEXAS.

I nearly spit out my coffee.

They scream HELP! FASHION POLICE!

Heyyy.

Seriously, Harry, did you just buy those?

I’ve had them a long time. I like them.

Okay. I’m sorry. They’re cute. Really.

Don’t lie just to spare my feelings.

I giggled.

No really. I do like them. And I like that you thought of Texas.

And you.

And me :)

I had incredible jet lag when I finally made it home, so I opted for a nap before Tod brought the girls. Crawling into my own bed was like heaven and I fell asleep almost instantly.

I awoke to the sound of Harry’s ringtone. I’d sheepishly set it to one of his songs just for fun, but this was the first time it had actually rung since we’d only been texting the last few days. With a yawn and a stretch, I answered.

“Hi, Harry.”

“Hi yourself. You sound sexy...um...I mean, sleepy.”

“I was napping,” I grinned, throwing my arm over my head.

“Oh, sorry baby.”

“No, it’s okay. I needed to get up. The kids will be home soon.”

“Yeah? How much time we got?”

I bit my lip. “For what?”

I heard him chuckle low. “Nothing.”

“Harry.”

“What?”

I lowered my phone to check the clock. “What time is it there?” I asked him.

“Just past eight. Why?”

“You mean you actually have time to call in the evening? No dinner meetings or other commitments?”

“Not tonight,” he replied. “Just me and my hotel room.”

“Oh. Nice...I think.”

“It is,” he said low. “Except I miss you.”

I sucked in my lips, not sure how to respond. The silence was deafening until I heard him take a breath.

“Stacey?”

“Yes?”

“There you are. Thought you’d gone.”

“No, I’m still here.”

I could feel my heart beating in my throat as I anticipated what either of us would say next. I gripped my phone so hard, my fingers went numb. Finally, Harry spoke again.

“Do you miss me?”

I whispered softly. “You know I do.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

His voice vibrated throughout my body as he said those words. I felt my toes curl and I swallowed hard.

“We didn’t get enough time together, baby.”

“I know. I’m sorry, I really am. If Emery hadn’t gotten sick-”

“No, I’m not talking about that,” Harry interrupted. “It’s not your fault. I just wish we’d…” I heard him sigh. “Had more time.”

“Me too.”

“Wish you were with me right now.”

“Me too.”

“I would do all the things I’d planned to do in New York.”

“Oh my God…” I sucked in a breath.

Harry chuckled low which only made me tremble more. “I think about it a lot,” he said.

“About what?”

“Touching you. Making love to you.”

“You do?” I asked softly, my stomach doing flips and my heart screaming in my chest.

“Mmm. More than you know.”

I gripped the sheet in my fist, unable to speak. He thought about it.

“Shit,” he muttered.

“What?”

“Jeff. Sorry, love, I gotta take this call.”

“Oh. Okay.” I tried to hide my disappointment.

“I’ll call you later tonight, okay?”

“‘kay.”

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I stood in front of the shower, my arms at my sides, staring at nothing for at least five minutes. Then almost on autopilot, I opened the shower door and turned on the water. I undressed slowly, dropping each garment on the tile floor one by one. Taking a deep breath, I let it out gradually as I ran my hands down my body, starting with my throat, down to my breasts and my stomach. Feeling my calm start to unravel, I quickly stepped into the shower and let the hot steam envelop me.

He thought about it.

I couldn’t get his confession out of my head. I turned underneath the stream of water, letting it hit me hard, the water drops beading over my skin, my hair sticking to my face. Pushing it away with my hands, I leaned my head back. I could already feel the throb and twitch between my legs before my fingers came in contact. I teased myself, rubbing my thighs together and clenching while I pressed my palms against the shower wall.

I hadn’t had a man in a really long time. In fact, it had been so long before our divorce, that I couldn’t even recall the last time Tod and I’d had sex. But it didn’t mean I didn’t still have needs.

I needed to be touched. I needed sex. I needed...to be needed.

I gasped when I dropped my hand and my fingers brushed against my folds. Stroking gently, I let the need wash over me, slowly getting more heated. I bit my lip as I imagined Harry touching me there, his breath on my skin as he whispered in my ear.

With a groan, I reached up for the shower head, a detachable one that came in handy for such practice. I twisted the nozzle, allowing the stream to be a hard, steady one that jutted out and vibrated against my leg. With a sigh, I leaned back against the cold tile and spread my legs, aiming the shower head between them.

My knees buckled at contact, and I nearly slid down the shower wall. Getting a better stance, I managed to find the perfect aim and pressure against my clit. I closed my eyes and imagined it was Harry’s tongue, licking me and stroking up and down, back and forth.

My breathing sped up as I quickly found myself reaching the edge, my hand gripping the shower head hard. My other hand found my breast, first cupping it, kneading it before running it across my nipple in the same rhythm the water was flowing against me.

“Oh God…” I moaned aloud, timidly until I remembered I was free to let it out. “Oh God, Harry…”

A tiny cry escaped my throat before I stopped motion on the hand that held the shower head, allowing it to spray the full pressure against my clit. I came instantly, slipping slightly as my knees went weak once again and I reached for the soap dish to steady myself. Then I returned the shower head to its home and leaned against the wall trying to catch my breath.

It was hot and my body was still trembling, so I quickly washed myself and turned off the water, stepping out onto the bathmat. A plush beige towel awaited me on the rod to my right, but I didn’t bother with it. My skin was on fire, I felt like the water could just singe right off. My chest heaved as I looked at the mirror, fogged up and obstructing my view. As water dripped from my skin onto the bathmat and the sink, I reached over and pointed my finger at the mirror. I wrote his name in the mist in all caps. Then I surrounded it with a giant heart.

Tod and the girls surprised me by bringing Mexican food. It still felt awkward to have to spend more than twenty minutes with Tod, but he was at least being cordial, and for the girls’ sake, I set the table, and we had a meal together. I got an earful from Emery as she gave me the scoop of everything that had happened since I’d been away. Aside from her getting sick, she’d seemed to have a blast with Dad and school was going well. You would have never known she’d ever had a high fever; she seemed to be her same old self.

Tod informed me that Jasmine had a couple nights where she woke up with spasms, but she was able to calm herself and go back to sleep. That was a relief and meant her meds must have been working.

After dinner, Tod left, and I cleaned the kitchen while the girls watched television. When I joined them in the living room, I snuck a peek at my phone to see if I’d missed a call from Harry, but no such luck. I knew it had to be getting late where he was, and wondered if Jeff had perhaps made a commitment for him at the last minute and he wasn’t going to call me after all. By the time the Disney movie was over, and I put the girls to bed, I had pretty much given up on hearing from Harry that night. I crawled into my own bed with a book, a new one from an author I loved that I’d grabbed at the airport. I was just starting chapter four when my phone startled me.

“Um, Harry, isn’t it like four in the morning there?”

“Yeah but I had to call you.”

“Why?”

“Because I said I would.”

“But…” I stammered, “you don’t have to sacrifice sleep to keep a promise.”

“Anything is worth a sacrifice when it comes to you, Stacey.”

I shut my eyes tight. “Dammit, Harry.”

“What?”

“Stop saying things like that.”

“Like what?”

“That. Like the most perfect thing you could possibly say at the moment. You’re gonna make me…” My words trailed off as I realized what I was starting to confess.

“I’m gonna make you what?”

“What?”

Harry chuckled. “You said I’m gonna make you, and you stopped. What am I gonna make you?”

“Nothing.” I cleared my throat. “Let’s drop it.”

“Make you want me?”

I sighed. “No. You’ve already done that.”

“Ohh! That’s good to know.”

I clicked my tongue. “Oh c’mon, like you didn’t already know that.”

I could tell he was smiling, even though I couldn’t see his face.

“So what did you end up doing?” I asked, changing the subject.

“When?”

“Tonight. Why are you still awake at four?”

“Not still awake,” he replied. “I actually fell asleep.”

“Oh.”

“After Jeff rang, I wanted to call you back then. But you’d said the kids were coming home, so I wanted to give you time with them. So I watched a movie and fell asleep. Just woke up and noticed the time.”

“Oh.”

“You’re not mad, are you?” he asked.

“Why would I be mad?”

“I dunno,” he laughed. “Just ‘cause it’s late.”

“No, I’m happy you called.”

“Good. Oh hey, I meant to tell you. I saw Stevie Nicks was coming to London next month. I didn’t even know.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. “She’ll be here next weekend.”

“Oh yeah? Did you get tickets?” Harry asked.

“No. When they went on sale, I had something else going on and couldn’t afford it. I figured I’d get a ticket later from Stubhub or something, but it never happened.”

“Aw that’s too bad.”

“Eh, it’s okay. I’ve seen her a few times already.”

“Hmm.”

Finally shutting my book that I had lying on my stomach, I placed it on the nightstand and turned off the lamp, snuggling under the covers.

“So, Harry,” I sounded.

“Yeah baby?”

“We never ended up singing again. In New York. Well...you did. To me.”

“I know. I was gonna bring my guitar to the yacht, but decided not to at the last minute. Because I thought maybe we could have the singing session at the hotel. If you’d stayed of course. But...you know.”

“You...you’d already anticipated my staying?”

“Yeah. Well…” he paused. “Maybe I was a tad presumptuous?”

I smiled. “No. ‘Cause I did too.”

“Good.” There went that contented sound again. “Makes me happy. So are you gonna sing for me?”

“When?”

“Right now.”

“Do I have to?” I asked meekly.

“No, you don’t have to. But I’d like you to. Besides, you brought it up.”

I sighed. “Okay. What should I sing?”

“Hmm. Well I’ve already heard you sing Stevie twice. Pick something else. Something I might not know.”

“Oh gosh,” I groaned. “I’m not sure what all you know.”

“Just surprise me. Something you enjoy singing when you’re alone.”

“When I’m alone,” I echoed.

I thought for a moment, mentally sifting through songs and artists I liked singing. I smiled recalling a soft vocal jazz piece by Melody Gardot.

“Okay,” I said, licking my lips. “Ready?”

“Always.”

“I might not sound that great because I’m lying on my back and I’m tired.”

“Sing for me, baby.”

Exhaling through my nose, I swallowed once more before beginning.

I don’t need anything...more than I got… I’ll make it simple when others may not…

I heard Harry hum softly as I paused after the intro. I let the next verse flow out of me with ease, shutting my eyes and reveling in the piano and strings that played in my head. Though Harry couldn’t hear them, I knew he could feel them.

The song consumed me, and for a couple minutes I was no longer in my room, in my bed. I was with Harry in England, in a hotel room with white sheets and dim lighting, a forgotten table at the foot of the bed covered with a silver service and a bouquet of flowers meant for me. Our limbs were tangled in each other’s, our skin desperate to be touched.

Why you wanna leave...when it’s so easy just to stay… Lying wrapped up in my arms...until the break of day...undercover…

I could hear his breathing through the phone, steady but hitching here and there, usually when I ended a phrase or held a note out longer. I knew he was enjoying it, my seduction with lyrics and vibrato. I pictured him in the soft moonlight, his phone to his ear, his other hand on his naked chest, just above his butterfly tattoo, perhaps slipping slowly down until it reached the edge of the sheet at his waist.

Whenever you need a soft touch...know my demands are small Make me your lover...undercover...or don’t ever love me...at all…

I held out the last note, the beautiful strings in my head guiding and encouraging me. I was proud of myself when I finished, knowing I’d done a decent job. My stomach flipped a little though anticipating Harry’s reaction. I wanted him to like it.

“Stacey…” he said so low I barely heard him. “Oh. God.”

“Did you like that song? It’s one of my favorites when I’m...in a mood.”

“And what mood might that be? Deliciously horny?”

I laughed, covering my mouth. “No.”

“Should be. ‘Cause holy shit that was sexy.”

“It was?”

“You know it was, you little… God dammit, why’d you do that to me?”

“Do what? You’re the one who wanted me to sing.”

“Careful what you wish for, fuck!”

I laughed harder. “Stop.”

“Who sings that by the way?”

“Melody Gardot. G-A-R-D-O-T.”

“Got it,” he said. “I’m downloading that right now.”

“Need me to go?”

“No, why?”

“Just thought you might...want some privacy,” I teased.

Harry chuckled. “Nah.”

“Okay.” I felt my skin tingle as I remembered my own privacy in the shower that afternoon.

“I’d rather talk to you right now.”

“Oh.” I yawned

“You’re gonna fall asleep on me?” he asked accusingly, though his tone was gentle.

“Sorry. I’m trying not to. I did have that nap earlier, but I haven’t fully recovered from my trip yet. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Practice,” he remarked.

“Yeah, apparently. Plus I think that song did something to me.”

“Definitely did something to me, too.”

I blushed. “On that note, I think I’ll go to sleep.”

Harry pouted with a sigh. “Alright. I’ll let you sleep now.”

“Okay. Although I think it’s more the other way around. Since it’s like the butt crack of dawn there already.”

Harry giggled. “I like how you talk.”

“How I talk? I talk normal, Styles.”

“Ah tawlk no-mal, Stiiiiles,” he mimicked.

“Stop it.”

“God, I want you.”

His confession sounded like he was talking through his teeth. I was silent while I waited for my heartbeat to slow down and my breathing to even out.

“I want you, too,” I finally admitted.

I heard Harry groan, most likely running his fingers through his hair like I’d seen him do several times whether he was frustrated or not. 

“Stacey?”

“Yes?”

“Um...never mind.”

“Don’t do that. What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Harry.”

“It’s nothing, baby, really. Just a fleeting thought. It’s not important.”

“Well thanks, now I’m gonna be all curious.”

Harry laughed. I was annoyed, knowing he was teasing me like a rabbit with a dangling carrot.

“I swear, it’s nothing. It’s….something about music. I’ll tell you later. When the time is right.”

“There has to be a right time to discuss music?” I pestered.

“Um...yes. Because you need sleep.”

I rolled my eyes. “Alright then.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow. Goodnight, baby.”

“Night.”

I turned onto my side, laid my phone atop my book and pulled the sheet over my shoulder. It was a good thing I was sleepy, otherwise I’d have been staring into the darkness wondering what the hell Harry was talking about.

The next week was busy for both Harry and me. I had to get back into my old routine at work, which didn’t seem like much fun after having traveled to five cities that made me hate Houston more day by day. Lorelei was getting ready to fly off again, this time to Australia to see her family. She was leaving Friday morning and wouldn’t be back until after Thanksgiving, so we had a lot of work to catch up on, as well as get a head start on.

Harry was flying back to L.A. I couldn’t remember if he’d told me exactly what he would be doing there, but I knew there was talk about a tour. His album was doing really well, so it only made sense that he go on tour. I was both proud and elated for him, but I couldn’t help the twisting in my gut that told me it might be a really long time before I saw him again. If I ever saw him again.

Harry called me Tuesday evening and we chatted briefly before he had to leave for dinner arrangements. On Wednesday a big announcement was made about a tour starting in the late spring and tickets would go on sale the day after Thanksgiving. I texted Harry a congratulations, teasing him that I hoped I got a ticket to at least one of the Texas shows.

You can count on it, he texted back.

By Friday our conversations had dwindled to short one or two word texts, mostly hellos and miss yous.

I missed him so much. So much it hurt. I still continued to think of that night in New York, how things might have gone differently. We'd made it clear since that we wanted each other, but Harry hadn't brought up our recent conversation again or told me what the music related thought had been about.

I sat on the sofa, the girls both in their rooms, the television muted during commercials as my mind continued to drift to Harry. His ringtone made me jump, my phone nearly slipping from my fingers.

“Hello?”

“Hi beautiful,” he said. “I have a question for you.”

I smiled nervously. “Okay?”

“Can I come over?”

“What?” I sat up. Clearly he was joking.

Harry chuckled. “Right now. Can I come over?”

“Oh, sure,” I said sarcastically, running a hand through my hair. “Just fly your private jet on over here. I’ll meet you at the door.”

“I’m serious,” he replied, though his tone said anything but.

“Harry.”

“I am!” he laughed. “I’m in Houston. About ten minutes from your place actually.”

“Harry!” I repeated, this time in exclamation.

“Surprise! So, can I come over?”

“Oh my God!” I squealed, rising from the couch. “But…but I look terrible. The apartment’s a mess, I-“

“Baby…” he cooed softly.

“What?”

He giggled lightly. “You’re so fucking adorable. I’ll be there in ten minutes, okay?”

Hanging up, I made a beeline for the bathroom to freshen up. My attire wasn’t too bad - a thin purple oversized sweater and black leggings - so I didn’t bother changing. I brushed my teeth and touched up my lipstick, careful not to use too much. I second guessed applying perfume, deciding that would be too obvious. I didn’t bother putting on shoes either. I could hear Emery playing on her iPad as I passed her room, and I looked in on Jasmine who was looking at a book on her bed. I’d just made it around the corner when the doorbell rang. I swung it open to see Harry standing on the other side, a single rose in his hand.

“Hi,” I greeted him softly.

“Hi,” he echoed, stepping closer to me and licking his lips.

He held out the rose for me. I took it, pressing it to my nose as I stepped back for him to enter the room. When I shut the door behind him, I turned to get a good look at him. He was wearing his usual black jeans with a white shirt with some sort of print on it. But I took little notice because the only thing I could see was the sparkle in his eyes as he smiled at me.

Closing the space between us, I wound my arms around his neck in a tight embrace. I felt his arms wrap around me and pull me closer as he chuckled gleefully in my ear.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I murmured. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“What, and ruin the surprise?”

I let out a burst of joy as I gazed into his eyes. “I’m not usually one for surprises.”

Harry shrugged. “Good thing I am then.”

He placed a soft kiss on my lips, and I shut my eyes, breathing in his scent.

“I missed you,” he declared.

“I missed you, too. So are you gonna tell me what you’re doing here?”

Harry smirked. “I can’t just be here to see you?”

“Well, yeah,” I blushed, releasing my grip on him. “But I find it highly unlikely.”

Harry chuckled, looking down at his boots and then back up at me. “Well, there is another reason I’m here. But it still has to do with you.”

“It does?”

He nodded, his eyelids blinking slowly. Suddenly I heard a sound behind him and noticed Jasmine had entered the room.

“Hi sweet girl,” I said. “Look who’s here.”

Harry turned around then and walked over to my oldest daughter.

“Hi, Jaz, how are you?” he asked.

Jasmine smiled and flapped her hands with excitement. Harry held out his arms, and I was happy when Jaz walked right into them, allowing him to embrace her. I stood and listened to him speak softly to her for a few minutes, asking how school was even though she only replied with one-word answers. Making my way into the kitchen, I opened the cabinet under the sink to retrieve a slim vase which I filled with water and slipped the single rose inside. Then I set it in the middle of my dining table.

Probably curious of the commotion, Emery finally emerged from her bedroom then, a squeal escaping her lungs when she saw him.

“Harry!”

“Hi there, Em!” he greeted from the sofa where he was now sitting next to Jasmine.

She ran to him, nearly knocking him back with her own hug. But he took it graciously, picking her up and twirling her in a circle before setting her down. I nearly gasped at his apparent strength as neither I nor Tod could pick her up anymore.

“Are you here to see Mommy?” she asked him.

I raised my brows. I supposed by now it shouldn’t have come as a shock that my daughter knew there was something between Harry and me, but I just hadn’t been prepared for her acknowledgement.

“Yes, I am,” Harry replied, lifting his gaze to me and back to her. “But I’m here to see you, too.”

Emery smiled her toothy grin, giving Harry another squeeze. He chuckled as he brushed her hair from her face and knelt down.

“Have you been good?”

Emery nodded emphatically. “Yes.”

“Not giving your mum a hard time, are you?”

“No, sir.”

“Good.” Harry smiled and gave Emery a peck on the cheek before rising to his feet.

I walked around the kitchen counter then as Em danced gleefully. I shook my head, knowing I’d have a hard time getting her to bed now that she was wound up. But I had to admit she had a good reason to be. It’s not every day that Harry Styles comes to your house. I chuckled to myself. He was standing in the middle of my den, like a flower sprouting in a sidewalk. Harry Styles, in my little three-bedroom apartment.

Jasmine also looked excited, a huge grin on her face as her legs bounced on the couch. I quickly realized the television was still muted and Shrek was on, one of her favorite movies.

“Ah, I love this film!” exclaimed Harry when I turned up the volume. He sat back down next to Jasmine, smiling at her as she giggled at Shrek and Donkey.

“Would you like something to drink, Harry?” I offered.

“Whatever you have,” he grinned.

I wasn’t exactly sure if he meant alcoholic or not, but I figured it was a situation that called for wine, so I opened a bottle and poured two glasses. I smiled as I handed him a glass and he clinked his with mine before sitting back and taking a sip. Then I took the seat on the other side of him. Emery had already situated herself on the recliner with her iPad as Jasmine continued to be enthralled with her movie.

“So, how’ve you been?” I inquired, not missing the small gesture of his hand on my thigh.

“Fantastic, you?”

“Pretty good,” I replied after a sip of wine. “What’s the other reason you’re in Houston?”

The corners of his mouth curved up before he covered it with his glass. He took a long, agonizingly slow sip before lowering his arm. Then he leaned into me to whisper in my ear.

“I’ll tell you later,” he said.

“Okay. How long are you here?”

“Just for the weekend.”

I studied his face, but he gave no sign that he planned to tell me anything else right then, at least not with the girls around. It was close to their bedtime, but with the movie going, I figured I’d let them stay up a little longer. I enjoyed watching Jasmine enjoy the movie, and even caught her singing along to a couple of the songs. Harry looked over at me and smiled, squeezing my leg before threading his fingers through mine. Even Emery eventually put down her iPad to watch, the sound of her giggles filling the room.

By the time Princess Fiona had finally taken her true form and she and Shrek rode off in their onion-shaped carriage, I was surprised to see Em with her head against the arm of the chair, her eyes almost closed. Rising from the sofa, I announced that it was time to get ready for bed. Harry gave both Jasmine and Emery big hugs and told them goodnight before I tucked them in. Jaz was just about asleep before I even shut her door, and Emery hugged me tight and yawned her I love yous.

When I returned to the living room, Harry was still on the sofa, his eyes on the TV. When he saw me though, he gave me a quick wink. I smiled back, stopping at the kitchen to grab two bottles of water. On my way to the couch, I recognized the voices on the television.

“Is this The Shawshank Redemption?” I asked, stopping in my tracks.

“Yeah,” nodded Harry. “Love this movie.”

“You’re kidding!”

Looking up at me, he grinned. “No, why?”

“This is my favorite movie ever!” I exclaimed, handing him one of the bottles. “Ever!”

“Then come sit with me,” Harry beckoned.

“We need popcorn!” I declared. “And more wine.”

Harry laughed as I set my water on the coffee table and grabbed our empty wine glasses to refill them. Harry excused himself to use the restroom while I put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. Just as I was dumping it into a large bowl, I felt two arms wrap around my waist from behind. I sighed as I leaned into him, his breath on my neck.

“Mmm, you smell good,” he whispered.

“Like buttered popcorn?” I joked.

“No,” he chuckled. I knew he couldn’t have detected any trace of perfume since I hadn’t put any on before he arrived, and the spritz I’d applied early that morning was long gone. “You smell…like…you.”

My legs were like jelly, it was a wonder I was still standing. I hadn’t been in this close proximity to him since New York, and my body temperature had drastically changed. Harry’s hand rose from my belly to cup my chin as he moved it slightly to look at him. I stared at his mouth for a second before he lowered it to meet mine. Then shifting in his arms, I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers tickling the curls on the back of his head.

Harry let out a low moan as he pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. I tasted the wine on his tongue, and I momentarily lost my breath, reveling in the consciousness that he was physically there, kissing me.

“I wanna tell you the other reason I’m here,” he said when our lips separated.

“Okay,” I nodded.

Harry cleared his throat and grinned nervously. “I hope you’re not busy tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night? No,” I shook my head. “Tod’s coming to get the girls in the morning.”

“Good. Um…” I watched Harry’s eyes as they darted around the room before landing back on mine. “I have tickets…for a concert…”

“What?” My eyes widened. The only concert I knew of tomorrow was…

“I’m taking you to see Stevie Nicks,” he beamed.

I covered my mouth to muffle the screams. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my God, Harry!” I pulled him into another tight hug, nearly in tears. “I can’t believe you.”

“I just know how she’s your favorite, and you’d mentioned you wished you would have bought tickets, and I thought this would be a great excuse to come see you…”

I released him with a smug look. “Oh, so you need an excuse?”

“No,” he chuckled, “that’s not what I meant.”

“I’m teasing you,” I lightly slapped his chest with the back of my hand, my expression quickly returning to one of disbelief. “You’re so…”

My jaw set as I tried to hold back tears. I didn’t know what to say, or how to express my emotions without coming off as a hopeless mess.

“I’m so what?” Harry raised a brow, pulling me closer.

“Amazing,” I whispered before giving him another soft kiss. “Wonderful.” Another. “Thoughtful.” And another. “Thank you.”

Making his signature contented sound that I’d come to know, he touched my cheek. “You’re welcome, baby.”

Giving me one last kiss on my forehead, he gestured toward the popcorn on the counter. “We’re missing your favorite movie.”

“I’ve seen it a million times.”

“But not with me.”

I turned out the lights and we sat on the sofa, the popcorn bowl between us as we watched most of the film, drinking wine and stealing kisses here and there. I liked how he noticed when certain scenes affected me, lifting his elbow to the back of the couch to touch my hair and brush it back off my shoulder. Or perhaps he just enjoyed watching me like I enjoyed watching him.

By the time the popcorn was mostly gone, our wine glasses empty once again, the movie was close to the end, at the scene where Andy gives his famous “get busy living, or get busy dying” line. I took the bowl and glasses to the kitchen, and this time when I returned, Harry was lying across the sofa, his feet hanging off the edge.

“Come lay down with me,” he beckoned.

I happily obliged with a yawn and laid down in his awaiting arms.

We watched the rest of the movie like that, my back pressed against Harry’s long, lean body, his arm around me. Everyone once in awhile I’d feel his fingers lightly graze down my shoulder and arm, only to meet my fingers and thread his through mine. By the time the credits rolled, my eyelids were heavy. I could feel Harry’s breath tickle the top of my head before blowing across my cheek. He whispered in my ear so softly, I almost wondered if I was imagining it.

“Are you asleep?” he asked.

“No,” I replied, shifting onto my back.

The moment my eyes met his, I felt electricity surge throughout my entire body. Though the room was dark, the only light coming from the glow of the television, his face was mere inches from mine, and I could see it perfectly clearly. I lifted my hand to touch his cheek, and without a word, he lowered his lips to mine.

After just a couple of light kisses, he quickly began to kiss me with more intensity. With my other hand, I grabbed the front of his shirt in my fist, pulling him even closer to me. With a slight moan rising from his throat, he shifted his body on top of me. I ran my fingers through his hair as we continued to kiss, our tongues meeting with fervor. When Harry finally came up for air, his hands propping himself up on the sofa cushion on either side of me, he looked into my eyes again, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

“Stacey,” he nearly whined. “Baby…can I…stay the night?”

I opened my mouth to reply, but he quickly continued.

“We don’t…have to…you know…if you don’t want to…I just wanna be w-“

I pressed my finger against his mouth to silence him. “Shh,” I interrupted. Then I nodded. “Yes.”

I placed another soft kiss to his lips as his mouth grew into a grin. Then I sat up, his body rising with me.

“C’mon,” I whispered, taking his hand.

Grabbing the remote, I turned off the TV and rose from the couch. Harry followed me to my bedroom, stopping just inside the doorway after I’d shut it and turned on the lamp.

“Do you have a side you prefer?” I asked, pulling back the comforter.

“Sorry?”

I grinned. “A side of the bed. That you like to sleep on.”

“Oh, um…no,” he shook his head.

“Good,” I raised my brows. “Because I prefer the left.”

Harry gave me smirk and walked to the other side of the bed, helping me pull back the sheets.

“Um,” I bit my lip, “do you wanna use the restroom first?”

“Go ahead,” he replied. “I’m fine.”

With a nod, I opened the bottom drawer of my dresser and removed something to sleep in, careful not to choose something too frumpy.

“Be right back,” I said, shutting the bathroom door behind me after I caught a glimpse of Harry sitting on the edge of my bed.

Changing into my chosen sleepwear - a pair of black cotton Old Navy pajama shorts and a black Harley Davidson tank top that had seen better days but was so incredibly soft - I looked at myself in the mirror. Other than some remnants of eyeshadow and mascara, most of my makeup was long gone, my lips freshly swollen from kisses. Grabbing a makeup wipe, I cleaned my face, then brushed my teeth. I giggled to myself, thinking that this had become such a nightly ritual, but this was the first time I’d be returning to the bedroom with a young man waiting for me. And not just any young man.

Suddenly, I felt a surge of nerves. I considered what he’d said, that we didn’t have to do anything if I didn’t want to. But that gorgeous British guy was gonna be in my bed. Next to me. Holding me. Most likely touching me, and definitely kissing me. Was I really going to say no if he wanted more?

My hand shaking, I turned the knob and opened the door. My mouth dropped open when I saw Harry standing next to my dresser, inspecting the trinkets, photos and perfume bottles that lay atop it. He had removed his shirt and jeans; his boxer briefs the only piece of clothing left on. Ink decorated his left arm, chest and torso, and though I had seen his tattoos before in photos, and had gotten a peek at some myself, it was quite another thing seeing them all displayed at once in person, just feet in front of me.

“Sweet holy mother of God,” I muttered under my breath.

Harry turned his head toward me, another smirk on his face. “What was that?”

I cleared my throat and looked away, tossing my clothes in the laundry hamper. “Um, your turn,” I said. “I um…left a new toothbrush on the counter for you.”

“Thanks, love,” I heard him say as he passed me.

With a heavy sigh, I walked to the bed and crawled in, pulling the covers up to my waist. I stared at the ceiling, listening for any sign that Jasmine or Emery were awake, but the only thing I heard was running water from the bathroom.

The door opened softly, a gesture not unnoticed by me. Tod had always been loud, with no consideration for those sleeping. Just one turn of a doorknob sounded like someone was breaking in and knocking the door down. Still, I couldn’t help but jump slightly when Harry re-emerged, his nearly naked body sauntering across my carpet. He gave me a smile as he pulled back his side of the covers and slid in next to me. I returned his smile, but only for a second as my nerves started to take over and I stared up at the ceiling again. I heard him chuckle low, which I found equally intoxicating and irritating.

“Are you nervous?” asked Harry.

“Nervous about what?” I swallowed hard.

Harry scooted closer to me, and I could feel his breath on my cheek.

“Nervous that I’m here,” he said, taking my hand that was lying on my stomach.

“No,” I shook my head. Then I turned it to look at him. “Maybe a little.”

He kissed the back of my hand before pressing it to his chest.

“Don’t be,” he said. “It’s just me.”

I felt my chest shake with a nervous breath, the heat of his skin doing nothing to ease the tension. I licked my lips, which seemed to be an invitation to Harry for him to kiss me. I didn’t protest. In fact, I somehow managed to pull him closer to me, reveling in the sensation of his mouth on mine. In less than a second it seemed, we were back to the position we had been on the sofa, his body above me, my hands in his hair.

As we continued to kiss, however, my brain and body began fighting. I knew I wanted him. I wanted him badly. But somehow the deeper we kissed, the more nervous I got. As Harry ran his hand down my side, I tensed up, anticipating his next move. I felt like a virgin again suddenly, my mind telling my body that I might not be ready for such a physical leap.

The pressure of his erection against me was almost too much to bear, even through our thin clothing. The brave and aroused part of me took advantage of his grinding movements, and I slid my hand down his back to his ass. He moaned against my mouth before lifting his head to look at me. His eyelids were heavy, his lips parted slightly. With the tiniest of smirks, so tiny in fact I could have imagined it, he ran his hand back up my side, stopping next to my breast. When his thumb grazed across it, causing my nipple to stand at attention, I gasped. I tried to read Harry’s face, but all I could see was peace and calm. I wondered how he could do that when my insides were in a turmoil. Surely, he could see my chest heaving, hear my jagged breaths. Still, his gaze never left mine as he continued to caress me.

I shifted slightly, bending my left leg. I could feel the wetness and heat growing with every tiny movement he made, both to my nipple and between my legs. I knew that if he kept it up I could reach my peak before I was ready, and truthfully the idea made me a little uneasy and embarrassed. When he lowered his mouth to my shoulder blade, dragging his tongue across and nuzzling his head in the crook of my neck, I let out a tiny moan.

“Stacey…” he breathed in my ear.

His other hand made its way down my hip, grabbing hold of my thigh that I had propped up beside his waist. His fingers teased the edge of my shorts before slipping underneath. I made another sound, and though I meant it as one of uncertainty, Harry seemed to take it as another moan of pleasure.

“Baby…” he groaned, his fingers inching further up my shorts as his hips pressed harder. “I want you so bad.”

“Harry,” I swallowed.

“Yeah,” he whispered, his lips grazing my ear.

“Harry…” I gently pushed his shoulders with my palms. “Harry, I...I have to tell you something.”

He paused all movement then, his blank stare almost making me regret my words.

“Please, understand,” I quickly tried to explain, wanting to reassure him, “it’s not that I don’t want you. God, I want you…more than anything.”

Harry blinked silently, allowing me to continue.

“Harry, I…I haven’t been with another man…since my divorce,” I admitted. “I guess I just…I want it to be perfect with you. Because…I’m crazy about you and…and...and...”

“Are you saying...you don’t want to?”

“No,” I shook my head. “No, I want to. I just...God, I’m so fucking nervous.”

Harry sighed, a small smile of relief on his face. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“Do you?” I choked.

“Yeah. It’s okay, baby,” he reassured me, brushing a strand of hair from my eyes. “I want it to be perfect, too. And it will be.”

He kissed me again, softly and sensually, like my lips were delicate and made of glass. I let out a shaky breath as he looked me in the eyes, his own green ones silently willing me to relax.

“I don’t want you to be nervous with me,” he whispered. “I wanna make you feel good. But we can take this as slow as you want.”

“I feel so silly,” I said, turning my head to hide my face. “I’m actually shaking.”

“Hey,” Harry murmured, taking my hand and threading his fingers through. “Look at me, baby.”

I bit my lip, looking back at him and his sincere expression.

“Tell me what you like.”

I felt my face blush as I grinned at him. “I like you.”

Harry smirked, grabbing my thigh as he pushed up against me again.

“I like you too,” he teased. “Can you tell?”

I blinked slowly and let out a deep sigh. “Harry…”

“Sing that sexy song for me again.”

“Sexy song?”

“Yeah...that one you sang for me last weekend. I keep thinking about it.”

Harry nipped at my jaw again, his tongue dragging up to my ear as he began to sing soothingly, like warm honey.

Whenever you need some company...some love of a different kind…

His fingers found the hem of my shorts once more, and this time I spread my legs and allowed him access. I hummed, my body still trembling though no longer due to nerves. He was wooing me again, caressing me with his voice as well as his hands.

“Sing with me, darling,” he whispered.

Come to your lover...undercover… And let me ease your mind…

My voice came out more breathless than his, but he urged me on with his fingers, his eyes locked on me. Though his hand remained on my inner thigh, dangerously close, his thumb began to tease me further until finally finding my source of wetness.

I lifted my knees, opening up to him as I reached the second verse. He’d stopped singing with me, his full attention now on his current task. His fingers played in rhythm to the song, though it was becoming more and more difficult for me to sing. I let out a moan when his other hand slid up my shirt, unable to continue.

“I can’t,” I gasped.

“What, baby?”

“Can’t sing anymore.”

Harry chuckled low. “‘s fine. You’re so sexy.”

“Do…” I swallowed, a little embarrassed to ask the question. “Do you have a condom?”

“Yeah,” he nodded before slipping his hand out of my shorts. He sat up and reached for the drawer of the nightstand. I eyed him as he produced the condom.

“When you were in the toilet,” he shrugged.

“Oh.”

I smiled at him before sitting up to remove my tank top. I watched as he shrugged out of his underwear and rolled the condom up his length. I tried to hide my reaction, but in my head I had to admit I was losing it. He was beautiful in every way.

I must have had some sort of look on my face, however, that gave me away since Harry wiggled his brows.

“You okay?”

I grinned and nodded slowly. “More than okay.”

Harry gripped the sides of my shorts and tugged them down. “Can we take these off now?”

“Please,” I replied, lying back and lifting my hips.

Then situating himself between my legs again, Harry kissed me like before - gently, delicately with tenderness. His tongue met mine as his hand grabbed my hip, squeezing eagerly. His kisses became deeper, hungrier as I struggled to catch my breath. I raked my fingernails down his back and opened my legs wider.

“Ha-arry…” I pleaded when our mouths finally separated.

Reaching my hand between us, I grabbed his erection and aimed it at my center. His green eyes darkened as he stared at me, his plump lips parted.

“Make love to me.”

“Yes.”

He pushed into me slowly, making my head reel at the sweet sting. I sucked in my lips to keep from making any loud sounds, careful not to wake unwanted ears.

“Stacey…” Harry groaned. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good.”

I moaned with my mouth still shut, my fingers digging into his back. His thrusts were steady and even, hitting me at just the right spot. Finally, I opened my mouth, desperate to breathe as though there was not enough air in my lungs.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered when I leaned my head back with a small cry.

He kissed my neck, biting softly and dragging his teeth across my skin. My toes curled as he slid an arm around my waist and pulled me closer, his movements speeding up.

“Oh my God.”

His thrusts were deeper, and I gasped as I felt more of him.

“Oh God. Feels so good!”

“Yeah, take me, darling,” he moaned, his lips dragging across my jaw, his hips pushing harder against me. “Take all you want. I’m fucking yours.”

I cried out in pleasure, wrapping my legs around him. I threw my arms above my head and grabbed at the bars of the headboard. I watched him as he fucked me, his brows furrowed in concentration, a lock of hair falling over his eyes, his mouth open as he panted. The mere vision of him turned me on even more and I felt myself reach my peak.

My entire body shook as I came. I turned my head to moan into the pillow, the cry half muffled by my arm.

“Oh, Harry… Oh, God…”

He held me tight, cooing in my ear as I came down from my high. I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, but it was amazing just the same. I looked at him, this beautiful man who’d just made me feel the best I’d ever felt in my life. I could still feel him inside me, so I began to move my hips, requesting a continuation.

He closed his eyes, his gorgeous face still concentrating, yet calm. He returned to his thrusts at a slow pace, then steadily began to pick up speed.

“Baby…” he moaned. “Fuck.”

“Yes.”

“You’re so…”

He didn’t finish his thought before his body shook above me. He let out a deep, long groan, his hands grasping the sheet underneath me in his fists. I held onto him like he’d held onto me, whispering sweet words in his ear.

“You’re amazing, sugar.”

“Mmm,” he sounded, pulling out.

He collapsed on top of me, his head on my chest. I tangled my fingers in his hair with one hand, the other trailing across his shoulder blade to his stretched out inked arm.

“Baby love…” I cooed.

I felt Harry shake before he lifted his head, a gorgeous dimpled grin on his face.

“This is the first time you’ve called me a pet name.”

“Is it?” I raised a brow.

“Yeah. And I just got two.”

“Sorry. Do you not like it?”

“Fucking kidding me? I love it. Especially sugar. That’s sexy with your accent.”

I giggled. “Alright. Sugar it is then.”

He kissed my chest a few times before sitting up and announcing he’d be right back. I watched him head to the bathroom and shut the door. My head was swimming, and my heart was bursting. I knew I was falling for him. Hell, I think I’d known it since New York, or even before. If I was being truly honest with myself, I’d probably already fallen. I was just trying to give my heart some time to get used to it.

A/N: Here's that Melody Gardot song in case you wanted to hear it. I've always thought it was so sexy.

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oh my god i love isabeau

the correct reaction to an incredibly mediocre pun:

when i talked to odile i said i was gonna make isabeau sleep on the floor but that is NOT true

i was about to say i love all the sparkly stars aesthetic but... the game is literally named after them.... i shoulda known

omg isabeau what were you about to confess 😳👉👈

rock paper scissors is being explained to me in such painstaking depth... but the dialogue is cute, so it's ok

wtf i looped back to the town specifically in order to ask the cook about the openphrase for the one door but there's no option to ask!!

it was the shopkeeper 🤦🏼

so curious about siffrin's touch thing... it makes sense other people might be more conscious of a subconscious reaction to touch than he is, but he's so avoidant of the train of thought, i feel like it must be something a bit less.. subtle...?

damn... tryna give mirabelle the fan mail for the second time.... yikes :( so sorry mira........ is that what happened to the island to the north...? something about it got so retconned that it makes people sick to focus on the exact change?

oh.. siffrin's major memory problems.....

this game is sooo good

siffrin seems upset in the observatory.. at first i thought they were just getting tired/grouchy, but the game sure is named after stars... maybe stars had to do with their past trauma..??

i'm starting to wonder if this isn't their first set of loops and the bone-deep burden of all that (along with the practicalities of your memories constantly not matching reality) is why they forget words and shit....

went and looked at the castle again this loop bc i felt bad that sif never gets to sit down...

king asked if sif remembers REMEMBERS WHAT??? i just knowww after i terribly lose this fight im gonna have to go back through the whole game unlocking new rooms that like unlock my memories or smth

"not when i still can't say it" ofc the king is from the northern island... sif is obviously from there too, and that's why he can't remember most of his past... so that's the thing they both don't remember?

defeated him but like. there's still so many locked doors. i bet like sif is gonna go to sleep and they wake up from the nap like WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M STILL IN THE LOOP?? WE WON?? but they didn't win correctly yet, they didn't actually solve everything that needs solved...

head handmaiden ma'am 😳

is odile's research genealogy??

i thought the reference to "colors" being an esoteric/irrelevant topic was a one-off gag about the art style, but it's plot relevant?? fuck yeah

what if odile is trying to figure out the northern island..??

OHHHHHH

BWAHHH the bonnie quest 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

first time redoing the mira quest.... siffrin!!! be brave!!!!! not only is your new idea good, even if it was bad you could just say oops oh well and switch the script back next loop!!!!!

is siffrin gonna have to learn how to be brave and normal in order to break the loop jdhshdjf (normal here meaning "not a loop-brained convomaxxer")

i hope siffrin can just ask the baker's daughter directly for the book this time hdhdjfj i don't really think the whole goose chase is necessary for the emotional convo.....

oh thank god

ugh i can't wait till sif tells his friends about the loop. is that gonna be sif's quest

HANG OUT QUEST!! YES!!!

hm.. is loop the deity of the northern island..? if stars and astronomy are like their whole thing....

INTERRUPTED AGAIN!!!!!!! AGHHGH!!!!! i know isa can't actually confess till the very end bc it would suck having to go through more loops knowing he likes you but he hasn't actually told you / if you go through a loop post-confession surely that would change quite a bit of dialogue

but AHHHHHH!!!!

oh my god siffrin is going beast mode on the tutorial sadness?? i had to choose "attack" bc it seemed the most different and thus interesting but also omg... there goes the warm friendship glow 😭😭

but ofc that glow would die a horrible sudden death anyway the moment siffrin is confronted with the fact that he is back on that damn loop grind :(

poor thing 😭😭😭😭😭😭

INSTANT REPLAY??????????

the loop power is getting stronger.. u~u;;

I KNEW IT WOULD EVENTUALLY GET WEIRD THAT SIF'S SUCH A HIGH LEVEL... just a couple loops ago i was like damn when is everyone else gonna notice that sif has like multiple crafts that they didn't yesterday

also i noticed a loop or so ago that their battle portrait is frowning and.. i don't think it always was.....?

oh my god the memory of sadness is kinda fucked up but. so useful jdhshfj im tired of avoiding them in the hallway,,

ok but also how do my teammates not notice that they have new equipment, and sometimes a new craft..... in the case of like a hair bow that's easy to gloss over but how does isabeau not go "wtf i'm dealing paper damage?" ??

the problem w telling your friends you're in a time loop is it must be such a fucking relief. and then you loop again

aw, sif.. tell them about the universe...

lol how funny would it be if i died to the rock this time

oops... i'm doing a big check-everything run, but i absolutely didn't do all the village stuff bc i was too excited to help isa... oh well,

i did idly connect that the "weird sadnesses" smell like sugar same as the king's time magic which makes, but i finally just actually thought about it and realized they're also star shaped....

siffrin having this time loop power... is it anything at all like mirabelle's time-resistance power, blessed upon her by the high priestess? did siffrin escape from their fucked up time island, sent out with the power to eventually save it?

odile is sooo close to figuring it out... she just said "verRrRy interesting"

BWAHH new post-level-2 convos!! so cute!!!!! love bonnie's new siffrin-patting routine..... and odile has it SO figured out, when is she gonna say something!!!

siffrin was afraid that he smells like timecraft? bc of looping or bc of repressed reasons.... probably bc of looping,

time for siffy's daily bathroom stall breakdown!!

they even went in happy this time and still managed to psych themself all the way out hdgshsjf

GHOST SIF??? GHOST SIF ON THE WAY TO THE KEYKNIFE??????

BWAHHH ODILE RUFFLING SIF'S HAIR!!! I WAS WAITING AND WAITING FOR MORE PEOPLE TO PICK UP ON IT BEING OK TO TOUCH THEM!!!

"in this moment, you are loved" god it is going to be so hard waking up next loop 😭

HAIR BRUSHING!!! THIS IS SO PEAK

i'm worried that the king's "isn't this the best moment of your lives" rhetoric is going to slowly gain appeal as sif goes through more and more loops... like. they crafted the perfect loop with their found family. they *can't* change it any more, make it any better. ...

EHAT DO U MEAN "NVM" ISA!!!!!! oh my god i can't believe you won't confess until siffrin is like more emotionally centered and open and ready to handle that kind of thing... why r u sooo considerate -_- ur killin them isa

oh my god why is it even worse why is the end of the loop even worse this time oh my GOD sif is gonna be inconsolable I'M inconsolable not isabeau reaching out im sobbing on da couch

ngl i kinda hope this time siffrin is just defeated and doesn't banter about shit and everyone is worried as fuck. sorry sif i just think it would be interesting. that flash of him slaughtering the tutorial sadness was so sick. esp the unique auto-rewind. more of that shit

they did the first convo w mira fine.. nvm i guess.... if that never happens that's gonna be my first fanfiction

another ghost siffrin... after i looped to unlocked floor one to look for articles....... :o

not beau saying "normally i'd be worried about this, but sif doesn't seem worried at all!" when i'm about to touch the tear specifically in order to die...

did the king used to hang out in the observatory... did he write that word (the country's name?) on the papers, and wear out the spot on the globe....... he did find a new home here in vougarde such that he's decided that he can't lose this one too, at all, ever...

i got to loop 30 and i was surprised bc i figured i was at like 25 tops. and now im at 37? i don't think it's been 7 loops since then...???

i've started dreaming about the tick of a clock.. i'm kinda worried i've started wracking up too many loops... i did just zip back and forth across the house a half dozen times checking various items and dead ends....

AHH AUTO REWIND FROM KING ASKING WHERE SIF IS FROM???? followed by "you do not answer" which. implies that wasn't the case before the rewind.?? maybe more like "you do not think about it" l o l oh sif 😭😭😭

i was about to complain that it won't let me zone out of the dying-and-bonnie-running scene but um. different this time. thank you for not letting me zone out,

YEAH IT'S LOOP 40 NOW!! this is right after loop 37 (with a small auto-rewind between)

😭😭😭😭😭😭 isabeau pleeeeease:

hanging out with loop and - we saw the kings first attack?? but how would the rest of the party even get that far without sif?? they'd die to the first rock trap????

oh good sif noticed too. "who was the king attacking".... did a siffrin remnant help the party, has he looped so many times that he can be in multiple places at once???

was the king kmsing??? who tf would he be attackinggg

does the loop end when siffrin loses hope?? but no, then the very first time they defeat the boss they wouldn't have looped... but no, if the handmaiden is just talking shit unrelated to the looping then that coulda still made sif think the loop was fucked, which fucked the loop?

it's kinda heavy how many times you have to k your s in this game... esp when you don't actually have to but it's, like, more convenient than 5-30 extra minutes of running around

siffrin tripping so they don't seem so creepily overpowered is SO sad 😭

fsr it's sadder than going through the motions of a conversation, or tripping bc you tripped last time... it's a whole new lie to offset a whole new problem...

oh yeah my other loop theory was that it ends when siffrin gets too reminded of the northern island..? the memory of the future or whatever the fuck from the big attack idk

siffrin rewinded after his friends saw the ghost.... kinda matches my "when he loses hope" theory. when he feels alone? when he's utterly lost with no clue what to do next..? (lol sif restarting every loop just bc he doesn't have plans for what to do after winning)

NOOO I WAS SO EXCITED TO NOT HAVE TO GO GET THE KNIFEKEY EVERY TIME BUT I DO HAVE TO... BOOOOO...... where's the consistency, loop!!!

i can use a memory to equip it for the boss fight but idc as much about that.... i just wanted to be able to check out the dead end rooms more often instead of having to use the crest to get the knifekey every time....

memory of ghosts, no effect??

oh, the vision of the future happens on the first attack always.. not when the king kills you always...

having the knifekey for the fight kinda isn't worth it.. siffrin only has one measly paper attack anyway, so i usually have them on potions and items duty.... gotta keep mira brothed up so she can cast the super duper shield every single turn

"it's fine. she isn't real to you right now either" god siffrin is gonna be so fucked up when they get out. siffrin is gonna have "everyone else is an NPC" brain

finished doing all four quests together for the second time, and sif's commentary at the end is reeally hitting my "eventually sif will understand the king's pov of wanting to freeze one perfect moment forever instead of going forward to inevitably worse shit" theory :(

"you've noticed you're starting to forget whole loops" AHA...... i'm so curious tho what was sif doing in those skipped loops. ig presumably it'd be whatever they did in the next loop that they actually remember? sticking to the plan several times in a row till it sticks,

does loop remember the skipped loops??

hm. whenever the loop ends early Not due to death (the little auto-reverses) maybe sif just.. forgot everything after that moment? till the normal king attack moment ....? or whatever death they find?

i wonder if the headache of not being able to say/read/think about the northern island is caused by many tiny loops, sending you back to the moment before you said/read/thought it, happening however many times it takes for the rapid time travel to make you so sick you just don't

i teach kid's music classes, and sometimes i'll practice one or two dozen verse variations, then i get to actual class and when i actually do that song i can't remember which variations i've already done? and it gets worse with each class i teach from that lesson plan. so dw siffrin i get it,

ok but wtf is up with the head handmaiden. what's she got to do with this. she's obviously more involved than she seems, she knows Something about the end. and imo it's sus that she was able to bless mirabelle to be impervious to the curse, how's she able to do that.

assuming that the king used to live in the house (spending lots of time in the observatory), euphrasie would've gotten to know him... perhaps seen the beginnings of him getting fucked up powerful...? thought she could handle it on her own but she couldn't?

are the mini auto-loops a meta "reload from last save"? i think it's the same quick rewind sound as actually reloading... i don't do it super often bc why not just loop back and keep my silly little mistake in, but i've done it 2 or maybe 3 times....

this game does such a good job starting in medias res. level 45!! i'm past 70 now. i feel like there's a definite chance i'll hit 90 which means siffrin will have done as much fighting in these loops as they did with their friends through months of travel and adventure.

choosing all the emo answers to the loop convo about how using your dagger would be faster than finding a tear to kill you. sorry frin not my fault you are depressed as fuck

LOOP GOT POSSESSED IN ORDER TO ALLOW ME TO K MY S MANUALLY??????? ??????? damn i had something actually important to talk about this loop too

I HATE PICKING CONVERSATION CHOICES WITH LOOOOOP I WANT TO SEE THE OUTCOME OF BOTH OPTIONS IM SO SPOILED!!!!

AHHHH FRIN FIGURED OUT THAT IT's THEIR COJNTRY! THEY TALKED ABt JT! THEY TRIED TO SAY IT!! BWAHHHHHHHH that was so fucking sadddd oh my godddddddd sif's poor clueless friends trying to stop whatever the fuck was happenin 😭😭

is the king's 9999 attack just saying the country's name, lol

wish craft . . .

oh my god oh my god he's gonna torture my friends to death in front of me oh my god holy shit oh my god oh no oh no oh no oh no

say the name siffrin!!! think the name!!!!!!! it'll fuck you up bad enough that you loop!

oh... sif is repeating their wish over and over..... like when they carve

well. finally a loop where sif wakes up freaking out so bad that their script with mirabelle gets way way off track. lol. just like i wanted. haha. shit

I CAN READ THE ISLAND BOOKS NOW???????? damn worth it fr sorry bonbon

i forget if i mentioned that i was thinking about how siffrin doesn't rly have much to look forward to, like his friends are about to disband...?

i was chatting w ari about it lol when she helped me defeat the king earlier, she was very concerned about how sif didn't have a home to return to, all his friends were talking about going back to their homes but where would sif go, isn't that sad

speaking of ari. very four year old raised by lesbians quote: "i like isabeau's name but i don't like his gender..."

siffrin dont get emo about how they don't hug you that first evening you literally already know why, they think you don't like it

damn. forgot about the rock

i had been thinking that the way the island was erased must be similar to the way the loops work, but couldn't fathom how time manip could erase a whole island. the magic being more general makes more sense. did someone wish away color as well....

i love magic systems where belief in a thing makes it more real but jeez this is scary

i was pretty on track with guessing that non-death loops happen when siffrin loses hope. it's whenever he goes oh fuck oh god i wish that hadn't happened

gotta say. i'm getting soo sick of running around unlocking doors so that i can go down a tear dead end for the nth time. plssss let me loop to "some doors unlocked; tear crest not used" 😭

i'm also starting to get low on loop-forward sparkles...

oh wow. siffrin had a really bad dream this tear-touch loop-back. i really can't ever use the dagger he would get plagued by the horrors. not that he isn't already, but,

i love to draw characters with horrifiedly blank expressions and very very tired eyes i can't wait to draw siffrin. lol

this game was made in a lab for me

every time i accidentally get into a fight with a sadness i'm like "siffrin is so fucked up at this point he should be able to just glare at them and scare them the fuck off" and then i remember that i literally currently have that mode equipped, me and the sadness just dodged in the same direction

can i at least get a memory that lets me one-hit KO the sadness crests- wait holy shit i just opened my craft menu and i literally have a new scissor craft called (just attack) when tf did i get that

.... was siffron's island erased specifically because they got gud at wish craft, and that's a power that the world shouldn't be able to harness...?

OH FUCK THE "remembering the name" STAR WAS SO SYMBOLICALLY STRIKING THAT I DIDN'T RVEN REALIZE THAT IT WAS ACTUAL COLOR...

nooo.. no one even reacted to being poked in the gardening room squeeze? right when sif needs it the most? let's make this set of the loops the worst set ever 🤗

what the Fuck is up with croissants though

i can't believe loop got siffrin to admit to themself that beau was planning to confess and siffrin is just using it to beat themself up. "poor isabeau, he probably can't help having a crush on shitty ol me".

i wish i could give siff a good loop but doing the missions makes them sad now 😭

wow. earlier i was like "what if the king is actually siffrin, weird-magic-shenanigans style". bc sif does have some similar thought patterns. but i was like no that's silly. but now this sad diary is talking abt making another self to talk to????

i also wondered if loop is some kinda shade of siffy??

i am writing this tweet while i let siffrin look through the big window in the observatory for a while. as a treat :(

OH THANK GOD.. ISABEAU IS TELLING SIF A NEW JOKE...: that's a much better treat 😭😭😭😭

oh no nvm their second thought was "i'll need to remember to laugh next time"

why don't siff's friends react anymore when he pokes them in the gardening room. it doesn't make sense.....

finally.. my "sif is quiet and moody and everyone notices" loop.......

sif has been super hungry in the commentary lately... more than normal i think... all those wish loops taking a lot of fuel?

have ppl not been reacting to sif's pokes bc they don't want to bother him when he's already obviously having a rough day...

i liked when they sat on the floor after bumping into the table. so real

finally got that death talk with bonnie.... i wonder when i'll get talk #2 with the other characters... odile has been quite sus of me for ages when's she gonna come out with ittt

ISABEAU PUSHING SIFFRIN AWAY.... probably bc siffrin was being very... sudden and depressed and desperate about it...?

did the daydreaming one's sister move to the northern island or something...

THE LIST IN EUPHRASIE's OFFICE!! it's who wished to save vougarde, and who wished for something else!!

bwuh. thinking about the strength behind the wish "i wish i hadn't fucking done that" when you reach out to someone and they push you away

loop confirmed/unified my theories about why siffrin loops back without death sometimes heheh... the specific wording of "something that feels like the world is ending" or whatever also seems in line with my theory that siffrin is scared of leaving their friends tomorrow

they've got croissant trauma. they've got banana trauma. a cheap continental breakfast is siffrin's worst nightmare

poetic that euphrasie finally heard and replied to me on loop 99. waking up on the big double O more hopeless than ever! ☺️

gotta say it so funny that siffrin is forcing themself to try to get everyone's skills in order to beat the king faster when i beat him easily in probably less than half a dozen rounds last time. forgot to even equip the keyknife! these half-assed quests are taking longer than that...

fucked up house??????

i keep accidentally walking right back out of the door i walked into, lol. this is fun though!

also. ghost ✨???

oh.. the ghost ✨ figure i saw was siffrin, with a black hat..?

maybe.. this is the universe's way of granting both wishes...... vougarde is saved, but stuck in time forever. looping the same day of salvation.

i had wondered what would happen if (once?) siffrin totally lost hope, sure that there was no chance of ever, ever getting out. bc when they lose hope they restart. so they'd just. restart immediately. constant loop. with no chance to do anything to regain that hope.

ghost sif time :3c

mal du pays means homesickness...

SIFFRIN TRIPPED AND IZA CAUGHT HIM.. they're touching !

i've been playing at work but i have to stop and actually do some work now.... ty for taking good naps today baby :')

i can't believe mirabelle and siffrin are canonically moirails now

BUT... BUT WHY DOES SIFFRIN HATE CROISSANTS???

also i saw something on a map i was using about a starry hat?? i never got a new hat...

i also never managed to find the book with the tree on the cover again, now that i could read it...

i'm gonna have to find a full 100%ed playthrough to watch on youtube 🫡

---

reading through ISAT socmed... the first time i saw one of the in-world swears in the game i was like "lol stormlight archive vibes" so it's very funny that one of the first posts i see is "my world building advice is to learn from brandon sanderson" i was sooo right. so true

---

makes no sense to me that mirabelle asked siffrin to not spoil her on their convo topics... not spoil on where the convos *went* sure, but how does she not want to know the basic facts that siffrin now knows about her 😭 so wild

if one of my friends was in a time loop i would be like. please sit down and summarize everything we ever talked about so i can be caught up. but thats just me

---

found some youtube video compilations of missable dialogue/events we are so back

AGHH why does this person not show the full cutscenes 😭😭😭 pls i don't want to have to do a whole ass entire top to bottom loop w like 20 object interactions...... maybe i'll just do it at work tomorrow while the baby naps 😩

at least it was pretty easy getting the initial croissant scene ☺️ but i am NOT redoing the entire last two acts to get the related final loop scene or whatever it is -_-

yayy that one's big enough that i found a video of it ☺️ i do wish i'd been able to do it in game myself instead, but. not redoing half the blinding game rn

---

i Am doing a full loop to get the odile thing though... and in doing so i realized apparently i didn't go through the friend quests manually enough times, sif just had a bit of a mental breakdown abt odile's. which does lead up to the last-loop breakdown better!

NOOO I WAS 3/4 OF THE WAY THRU THIS LOOP TO GET A CERTAIN SCENE AND i was on autopilot and meant to use a crest on the tears but i didn't have the crest yet so selecting "yes" meant touching them and dying fuck meee

i hadn't saved at each floor bc i didn't want to touch my save files w this new offshoot canon...

i'm not actually quite sure what info gets carried over from the previous loop when you loop back to the same floor instead of the beginning or forwards? i'm just gonna try and do floor 3 again and see if it works....

either relooping level 3 messed it up or i wasn't able to get enough suspicion points bc the plantain chips didn't make me sick. gonna go slip on the banana five times and try again

---

... i just used the dagger for the second time and now i'm stuck on a plain black screen and i legitimately can't tell if the game is broken or if the game is making me sit and wait for sif to bleed out

ok it's definitely a bug. wow this is so poignant it really does feel like i fucked around and found out

this is so funny i can open my pockets but i can't use the dagger or call loop.

---

I DID IT I GOT THE SCENE!! it was good i'm glad i saw it. wish i hadn't fucked up and had to do it all twice but i DID IT

[grayskies2525]

An Admirable Denial |M/M| Part 7

Word Count: 7,534

Link to all parts: An Admirable Denial (14 parts)

Content Warnings:  There are mentions of nausea, but no actual vomiting. There are some descriptions of reptiles and spiders, but I intentionally kept it vague, since I was disturbing myself by thinking about these things (and looking up pictures).

Connor doesn’t know exactly what he’d been imagining when he decided to attend a Reptile Expo. He supposes he’d thought it’d be a small affair with other people into this niche interest of Felix’s — especially considering this is the first year this particular expo is being held and it's the middle of winter. Also, with this expo focusing only on vendors who support conservation programs, as well as offering only captive-bred animals in efforts to minimize impact on wildlife population, Connor figured it wouldn’t especially appeal to a broad crowd.

So when he makes it to the convention center and sees how large the venue is, he starts to reconsider what all the event might entail. 

Once Connor parks the car in the surprisingly crowded parking area. There are banners on the building and signs posted around showing the Expo’s name. He hears Felix gasp. Connor, despite feeling progressively worse and as the minutes go by, feels a large grin spread across his face.

“Connor!” Felix exclaims, turning to face him, eyes wide. “Is this — is — how? How did you even find out about this? I looked into this months ago, but didn’t want to go alone. And… well, that was when you were still in New York, and I didn’t want to ask anyone else to travel three hours away just to look at reptiles. I don’t think I would’ve even asked you. But seriously, oh my god, how did you find out about this? The people holding this expo are huge supporters of wildlife conservation.”

Connor smiles. “I know all about their conservation efforts. Every vendor here provides captive bred animals only. The focus really seems to be more educational based than a lot of the other popular expos I’ve looked into. Their primary goal is to adopt out reptiles who need homes.”

Felix is staring at Connor with his mouth open. “You really looked into ethical reptile expos? And bought tickets for one? You don’t even like reptiles! You hate them!” He pauses and looks hard at Connor. “You do know there’s going to be reptiles in there, right? Like real ones, and like a lot of them? You’re… You’re going to have such a terrible time. And you're sick! Connor!” Felix exclaims, reaching out to squeeze Connor’s arm, and looking at him as though he’d brought them to a lion’s den — not an organized convention. “Listen, you can just stay in the car, okay? I’m fine going in on my own. You can stay here with the heat on and take a nap. I won’t stay long.”

“I’m fine — it’s just a little bit of a co—” Connor stops when he sees Felix’s expression. Connor hadn’t even made the conscious decision to say the words. His brain already had the lie ready and Connor diligently delivered it completely on autopilot. “Okay, yes, I’m not feeling great. But, like I’ve already told you, a big part of this is seeing you enjoy it. That’s not going to happen if I just stay here in the car. And, also, I know you don’t like doing stuff like this alone. So, don’t argue with me about this, okay? I want to go in.” This statement is only partially true. What Connor wants is a bed and complete silence so the pounding in his head will calm down a little. But it’s true he also wants to see Felix happy. 

Felix is still quiet, his brows knitted, while he chews on his lip.

Connor sighs before taking Felix’s hands. “Sweetheart, seeing that big goofy smile of yours is one of my favorite things in the world, okay? I mean top three at least. I don’t think it quite beats out a Hershey’s Cookies ‘N’ Creme bar, but it’s a close second.” Felix rolls his eyes at this, but Connor sees the corners up his mouth twitch. “And if walking into a building full of vicious dinosaur descendants is what it’ll take to see that, well then, I consider it worth a bit of discomfort.”

Felix snorts, but then his expression sobers. “That’s not accurate, actually. It’s a common misconception due to some of the same characteristics they share, but to say they’re a “descendent” would be a misnomer. Now, birds are direct descendants of dinosaurs which is cool as hell, but reptiles are more like…cousins. Not direct descendants,” he finishes. 

Connor stares at Felix, then finally shakes his head and laughs. “Okay, silly me. Of course everyone should know it’s the birds who are descended from dinosaurs. A parakeet and a tyrannosaurus rex? Totally similar,” he jokes, while rolling his eyes.

“Oh my god, babe, I can so go into the ways they are similar if you want,” Felix says.

“Hmm,” Connor hums. “Maybe save that particular lecture for your Biology students. If you don’t mind, let’s head inside,” he says, jerking his head toward the convention center. “Quite the crowd seems to be pouring in.”

Felix looks at him with another bite of his lip, then his mouth stretches into a huge smile. “Okay! Are you sure, though?” he asks one last time.

Connor rolls his eyes. “Yes, let’s go look at some dinosaur cousins,” he says before opening his door and stepping out of the car. 

_____

“HEP-P’SHOO!” 

Connor catches the sharp sneeze into his ever-present tissue. They’ve been in the building for ten minutes and haven’t had the opportunity to see much. There’s a large multitude of booths set up around the large room, but there’s long lines and crowds around every single one. Felix, though, seems unfazed. He stands on his tiptoes as he tries to see over the heads of all the people who are much taller than him, smiling, even though Connor knows he can’t possibly be seeing much. 

“What exactly is it we’re waiting to see again?” Connor asks, sniffling, his nose starting to run incessantly. 

Felix grins ear to ear. “A Gila monster. They’re really cute. And they’re one of the only venomous lizards.”

Connor goes to respond, but brings his tissue up to catch another sneeze instead. “Hrr-p’SHOO!”

“Bless you,” Felix says with a frown.

“HEP-SHUUH!”

“Bl —”

“HEP-shuuuhh!”

“Bless you,” Felix says, emphatically, his concern etched all over his face.

“Thanks,” Connor manages to say, though with his congestion it sounds more like “thagksd.” The musty smell permeating the expo hall must be getting to Connor’s already irritated nose because he feels an almost constant urge to sneeze.

“Connor, we can leave,” Felix says, sounding so worried.

Connor smiles, which is somehow a gesture that is becoming painful. His entire face aches, including his teeth. He knows his sinus cavity must be a complete wreck. He takes Felix’s hand and squeezes. “Nope. We’re gonna see this lizard monster thing. It’s just some sneezes.”

Felix narrows his eyes. “You’ll tell me if it becomes worse than ‘just some sneezes’ right? Remember, you promised — no passing out.”

Connor chuckles. “I remember, I remember. No passing out. I’m definitely not to that level,” he says. He wants to prove to Felix, though, that he is trying to let him in a little more. “Just some crummy sinus issues. My face is, uh, a little achy,” he says, rubbing the center of his forehead.

“You should be resting,” Felix says, frowning.

Thankfully, though, they’ve made it to the front of the line and can now see the lizard in its massive enclosure. The lizard is… Connor certainly wouldn’t say cute. There’s multiple signs displaying information about their venomous nature, and even though they’re separated by thick glass, Connor has the strong urge to grab Felix’s waist and pull him away from the creature that literally has “monster” in its name. Felix, of course, doesn’t share this concern at all. He immediately launches into a ton of questions about what the vendors are doing to reduce the stress levels of the lizard, since apparently they prefer calmer environments. Connor listens a little as the handler gives information about how there’s plenty of hiding places in the enclosure for the lizard to retreat to when he’s feeling stressed. There’s also talk about giving the lizard breaks throughout in a quieter back area away from the crowds. Connor spares a moment to empathize with the lizard, because Connor would also like to take a break away from the loud crowds for the sake of his head. The handler mentions how lucky Connor and Felix are to actually see the lizard so early upon entering the expo, and while it’s actually out in the enclosure, instead of hiding. Then Felix asks question after question about the behavior habits of the Gila Monster. Connor then starts to tune Felix out. He likes to think he’s lovingly tuning him out, if such a thing can be done. He adores Felix’s passion, and loves hearing him speak about what he’s interested in, but Connor really isn’t feeling his best, and it seems the handler has the conversation…well, for lack of a better word, handled. 

After some time, they finally walk away from that particular enclosure. Felix is talking excitedly about the Gila Monster, gesturing wildly, talking a mile a minute, and is practically bouncing. He’s being… very Felix. Connor’s head is splitting, his teeth hurting, his body feeling extremely hot and cold at the same time, but he can’t look at Felix with anything but fondness in his eyes. 

“I’m glad you got to see it,” Connor says, wiping his nose with his tissue.

“God, me too,” Felix says, then frowns slightly. “But I do wish it weren’t so loud. I know the vendors are doing their best to reduce the stress of the animals…but imagine how uncomfortable they must be.”

Connor doesn’t have to imagine because he, himself, is feeling quite uncomfortable already. Instead of expressing this, though, he decides to smile sympathetically. “Yeah… I wish it were possible to force everyone to whisper, and like, I don’t know… tiptoe or something,” Connor says letting out a light laugh before sobering. “I’m sorry it’s not perfect, sweetie. I know the safety and comfort of the animals are important to you.” 

Felix sighs. “I mean, I guess it’s not possible to put on one of these things and have it be one hundred percent ethical, you know? I mean, there’s always going to be a slight exploitive element to it. They do, after all, want to attract a crowd of people.”

Connor nods, frowning. “I’d take you to the Gila Monster’s natural habitat if I could. Well, okay maybe not. Because I definitely didn’t miss all that talk about how venomous they are.”

This makes Felix laugh. “They are venomous, but not likely to bite unless provoked. They’re super hard to spot in the wild, anyway. So, it’s really kind of crazy that we can see one at all.” They’ve stopped walking to stand in another line. Felix looks up at Connor with a palpable warmth. “Thank you for bringing me here. It’s not one hundred percent perfect, no, but I think, ultimately the benefits outweigh the harm here. Since, they are so focused on adopting out the animals and educating people about how to care for them properly. And they’re giving the reptiles breaks, which I really love,” Felix finishes.

Connor sneezes again into his very well-used tissue before stuffing it into his pockets. He looks at Felix’s expression and rolls his eyes. “Okay, new rule — you have to stop making that face every time I sneeze. Sneezes are going to inevitably happen, and I can’t stand seeing you so… concerned every single time,” he says, keeping his tone light.

Felix huffs. “I can’t help it,” he whines. “I swear, every time you sneeze, they're all saying ‘Felix is a jerk! Felix is a jerk’!”

Connor laughs, before turning away to cough in the crook of his arm. “Is that what they’re saying?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.

Felix nods emphatically. “Yes. Your poor, tired body is trying to send a very clear message  — that you’re sick and need rest, and here I am dragging you around a crowded convention center.”

“You’re not dragging me anywhere. And I think you’re reading way too much into my sneezes, sweetie. I mean, they’re… sneezes. My nose is irritated, so I’m sneezing. That’s all there is to it.”

Felix just shakes his head, looking off into the distance, with an exaggerated forlornness. “No. They’re personal affronts against me. And, honestly, I deserve it. You know what — keep sneezing, actually. It serves me right. It’s my punishment for having you out here.”

Connor laughs again before, of course, coughing. “If my sneezes are yelling at anyone, it’s me. So… just stop being so ridiculous and let’s look at this lizard, or whatever it is.”

“Oh, babe, this one is a Uromastyx,” Felix says, eagerly, back to his normal bouncy, smiling self.

“Ah,” Connor says, nodding. “AKA — the lizard who was more interesting than my book signing. I remember.”

Felix just laughs as he moves closer to the booth to talk to the handler. ———

An hour and a half and dozens of sneezes later, Connor finds himself standing in a daze, trying to resist the constant urge to shiver. It’s an odd sensation because he’s also burning up. The facility is kept at a high temperature for the sake of the reptiles, and there’s heat lamps everywhere. He feels sweat trickling down the back of his neck, and just hopes Felix doesn’t notice these signs of discomfort. Connor, typically, can run three hours on the treadmill easily — and he does so several times a week. The way his body feels right now is exactly like how it feels after his three mile runs, and mostly all he’s done today is stand. When does have to walk, it’s at a very leisurely pace due to Felix’s much shorter legs not being able to take the same strides as Connor’s. 

He rubs his temples and tries to focus on what’s happening. They’re … looking at a bunch of snakes. They look … well, they look like snakes. But Felix’s eyes are wide and he’s grinning and pointing them out to Connor, as though Connor is not already extremely aware of the close proximity he is to the snakes.

“That one’s so pretty,” Felix says, pointing at one of the brown, spotted snakes. “It’s a ball python. I thought about getting one before I got Reggie, but then I saw Reggie at the pet store and just knew he was meant to be my little snake son.” Felix pauses, as his excited smile is replaced by a frown. “I wish I would have thought about adopting a snake. I hadn’t even considered it.”

Connor smiles softly, squeezing Felix’s hand. “It’s not like there’s reptile shelters around everywhere like dog and cat shelters. And I’m sure Reggie is in his gigantic terrarium right now  — with all his fancy branches and automatic misting system — thinking about how profoundly lucky he is. So, I wouldn’t feel bad at all, sweetheart.” 

Felix sighs. “I mean, I guess, but — oh, look! You can get pictures.” Felix is already walking off to some kind of photo booth. 

Connor pulls out his last tissue and presses it firmly over his mouth and nose in preparation for what feels like a pretty intense sneeze. His body makes him work for it, though. But, finally, after what feels like a minute of his chest heaving and breath hitching, he snaps forward into his tissue.

“HAAAH AhhhhHHHH HAH-AT’CHHUUUUH!”

It is a loud, piercing sneeze, and several people turn to look at him. A few people bless him, and he meekly gives his thanks. He grimaces when he sees the sneeze had been so strong, it had blown a hole into his last tissue. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing, before catching up to Felix.

Felix is excitedly engaged in a conversation with one of the snake handlers. 

“Connor!” Felix exclaims when Connor comes near. “Take a picture!” he demands, as the handler drapes the python over Felix’s arm. Connor stares, unable to keep his face twisting in repulsion as the snake curls around it.

Felix, though, is holding up his snake covered arm and smiling. Connor sighs, then brings up his phone’s camera. Felix uses the hand not currently being occupied by a snake to throw up a peace sign. Connor snaps the picture, then feels his face soften as he looks at Felix’s positively beaming smile. Connor, for the thousandth time since returning to town, finds himself wondering how he was ever stupid enough to walk away from Felix — from someone who’s so full of life and enthusiasm it’s almost ridiculous. 

His moment lost in adoration is short lived though.

“All right, babe, now your turn,” Felix says with a wicked grin. 

Before Connor knows it, the handler is already gesturing for Connor to hold out his hands for hand sanitizer — which seems to be an expectation for all guests to use before and after handling any reptiles. 

Connor doesn’t even put up any resistance because he knows, through past experience, that he’ll inevitably give in as soon as Felix so much as pouts. So he sighs and tries not to look as the snake curls around his own arm. 

Felix pulls out his phone. “Okay, so I’m going to need you to look a lot less terrified,” he says lowering his phone, sounding disappointed. 

Connor rolls his eyes, but holds his snake-clad arm up much as Felix had done, and contorts his face into something he hopes resembles a smile, but then the expression entirely falters because he has to sneeze and he has to sneeze now.

He swings his left arm up as fast as he can to cover his face.

“AHHH-P’TshoooOOOO!”

His sneezes have been so loud since coming to this expo, and this one is no different. The snake on his right arm tightened its grip during the sneeze. Connor frowns down at the creature, which is looking at Connor with an expression of sheer disdain — if snakes can wear such expressions, which, looking at this snake now, Connor’s sure they can.

Connor then wears his own expression of disdain as he feels a dampness trickling along his arm. He closes his eyes and groans.

Connor, arm held out with the still curled up snake that’s now leaking, turns to address the handler. “Hi, um, I’m sorry, but I think maybe I startled this python here and he seems to have had…an accident. On my arm. So, if you could just please —” 

The handler winces, apologetically. “Sorry about that. It happens more than you would think. It looks like he just got your arm, though, so that’s good. It’ll be easy to wash right off.”

The handler carefully removes the snake from Connor’s arm. Connor glances at Felix who looks to be biting the inside of his cheek in an attempt to hold back a smile.

Connor blinks and forces his mouth to form a tight line to show how serious this situation is. “Felix, this is not funny.”

Felix clears his throat. “Of course not. I would never laugh at such an unfortunate situation. I mean, there is nothing funny about getting peed on by a snake. Nothing at all.” Felix’s composure breaks as a laugh slips out that he quickly attempts to disguise as a cough. “Oh, no, excuse me. I seem to be developing a bit of a cough,” Felix says, but he's grinning ear to ear.

Connor rolls his eyes and tries to fight back his own smile, but Felix’s “cough” seems to summon Connor’s own, very real, coughs. He brings up his arm — the one not currently wet — and begins hacking. He hates to view what he’s doing as hacking, but that’s what’s happening. The sound is deep and wet, so he turns away from everyone so as not to have to face anyone’s looks of disgust.

He starts walking away from the area, not sure where he’s going, but sure he needs to get away from everyone who just saw his unfortunate and egregious display of illness. Suddenly, though, an arm is wrapped around his lower back. Connor looks down to see Felix staring at him, eyes full of concern.

“That didn’t sound good, babe,” Felix says, softly.

Connor closes his eyes and lets out a long breath. “It didn’t feel so good either,” he admits. He remembers his promise to Felix and has to fight against his very nature as he says “I’m thinking we should maybe head out soon. Um, I guess…” He clears his throat. “I’m feeling….”

Felix nods, giving him a knowing look. “Like shit?”

Connor laughs, then coughs. “Definitely along those lines.”

“Feeling like shit when you’re covered in piss is never good,” Felix says with a smirk.

“Oh, god,” Connor groans. “I forgot about the… about the snake urinating on me. Felix — this is yet another reason why you need to stop liking snakes right now.” 

“Yeah, yeah, snakes are legless little evil monsters sent from Hell, I know. But listen, you should, uh… go to the restroom and wash that off. While you do that, I’m going to go look at the tarantulas. Then we can leave, okay?” 

“What do you mean, tarantulas?” Connor asks, horrified. “Tarantulas? Those are not… Those aren’t even reptiles. Heh! Crap, I have to sneeze T’CHOOO! AHH-TCHOOO!”

“Oooh, bless you,” Felix says, frowning. He digs into his pockets and hands Connor several tissues.

Connor stares at the tissues a moment before taking them. “You — you thought to bring these with you?”

Felix rolls his eyes dramatically. “Of course I did, Connor. Something told me you wouldn’t think to bring enough. And good thinking on my part, really.”

Connor blows his nose carefully, trying to keep the volume as low as he can, but it’s still noticeable. “So, uh, tarantulas?” Connor asks, tissue still pressed over his nose, muffling his voice.

Felix’s eyes light up, and Connor’s heart sinks. “I’ve decided to get into arachnids,” Felix says, as though the statement were as commonplace as someone saying they’re getting into knitting. “I’ve listened to a few audiobooks about them recently after seeing a documentary about them on YouTube. And it looks like they have Mexican Redknees here, which I’ve looked a lot into and they’re really fascinating.”

Connor stares at him for a long moment, then blinks. “But - but, you’re already into reptiles, Felix. How can - why….” Connor gives up and shakes his head. “There should be a law somewhere that says someone can only be interested in one scary thing. Snakes and spiders? Felix, I swear, you’re literally going to be the death of me and —”  His breath starts to hitch and all he can do is wave his hand frantically in front of his face until he’s snapping forward into his tissues with an especially violent, wrenching sneeze.

“HURRR’SHEEWWW!”

Connor leans back, eyes closed, resting his head against the wall. He rubs the center of his forehead, trying to soothe the intense ache from the sneeze. Even with his eyes closed, he feels lightheaded.

“That… That sounded rough, babe,” Felix murmurs softly from beside him. 

Connor opens his eyes and sighs. “Yeah,” he says, not having the energy for anything else. 

“Go clean up your arm, okay? Find me when you’re done? Then we’ll finally head home.”   Connor just smiles in affirmation, then Felix walks off. _____

After leaving the bathroom, Connor is concerned by how weak his entire body feels. No, “concerned” isn’t quite right, he realizes. He’s scared. Something’s very wrong. His knees have a slight tremble and his heart is racing. He desperately needs to get to the car and sit down — that’ll fix everything. He needs to find Felix, though, first. He remembers, with no small amount of displeasure, that Felix mentioned heading over to the tarantula booth.

Small spots are beginning to cloud his vision. There’s not a lot of them… but Connor is aware there probably really shouldn’t be any, so some alarm bells are definitely starting to ring in his head. He stops at some kind of weird lizard display that looks like all the other weird lizard displays spread throughout the expo hall. There’s no people at this particular one, so he grasps onto the table as he tries to steady his heartbeat. Why is it beating so fast? he wonders, panic starting to grip him.

He’s taking deep breaths with his eyes closed when he’s interrupted by a voice.

“Sir, are you all right?”

Connor slowly opens his eyes, then regrets it, as he feels his nausea build. He plasters on a smile.

“Oh, yes, excuse me, sorry. I think maybe I just started to get slightly overheated, but I’m much better now.”

The man does not appear at all convinced. “Are you sure about that? You’re uh… pretty pale. I have some water. Here take it,” the man says, holding out a bottle of water. Connor can see the droplets of condensation on it and it looks so good. His body is practically screaming at him to take the water.

“Oh, no, I’m fine now. But thank you,” he says, smiling weakly as he leaves the booth.

What the fuck is wrong with you? It was just water. Water that you NEED.

Connor doesn’t have the time or strength for his self-deprecating thoughts so he pushes them aside as he goes to find Felix.

Felix is sitting down in a metal foldout chair, wearing a beaming smile, as a large tarantula crawls all over his arm. Connor, already feeling nauseous, has to look away from the furry, eight-legged creature for a moment. Finally, though, after finding his composure, he meets Felix’s gaze, and makes his way on shaky legs to the open chair next to Felix and practically falls into it.

“Connor, meet Edna,” Felix says, holding the horrifying creature out to Connor. “She was abandoned by her last owner because his kid was too scared of it,” he says with a clear tone of judgment. “Anyway, it’s okay because she’s going to be my new baby now. Aren’t you Edna?” Felix coos — actually coos — to the little monster in his hand. 

Connor, feeling slightly better now that he’s off his feet, has barely enough awareness to realize what Felix is saying.

“Felix — you’re not… You’re not saying…”

Felix smiles and gestures to the handler, as the tarantula sits, seemingly content, in his hands. “I am saying! Becky, here, says the adoption process is really simple and after I showed her all the audiobooks on my phone about this exact species of tarantula — and my pictures of Reggie all happy and chilling in his terrarium — she says I can adopt him!”

Felix sounds so excited, so Connor resists the natural impulse to grimace and offers a very slight smile. “Okay, sweetheart. It sounds like you’ve made up your mind.” 

While Felix and Connor have been talking, Becky — the handler, apparently — has been occupied with a few children eagerly asking questions. If Felix is going to adopt this thing, Connor wishes Becky would come back and deal with the process quickly so they can get out of here.

“Connor — are you okay?” asks Felix, his eyebrows knitted, his voice much more serious sounding than before. “I mean, you’re just going to accept my new tarantula that easily? You put up more of a fight when I got Reggie and you literally drove me to the reptile store to get him.” Felix’s brows furrow deeply. “Shit, Connor, you’re really pale and you're sweating —”

Felix stops talking as his gaze lowers and he, presumably, comes to the same realization that Connor is also now now coming to.

The tarantula is no longer on Felix’s lap.

“Fuck! Edna!” Felix shouts, as he lowers himself to the ground to pick up the tarantula that had somehow maneuvered itself down to the floor without anyone noticing. 

Connor feels his nostrils flare and breath hitch. He waves a hand quickly in front of his face in a desperate attempt to fend off a sneeze, but it’s useless. He gives in, hoping to at least muffle the volume by tightly pressing his arm against his nose.

“AHHHHH-TCHOOOOOOOOO!”

Of course, this sneeze is by far his loudest of the day, and it has him seeing stars.

Edna, yet another animal falling victim to the intensity of Connor’s sneezes, scurries away faster than Connor would have imagined possible. 

Connor watches as Felix tries to catch her, but she’s darting around all over the place, clearly scared. Connor knows he should get up, but those spots from before are back and they’ve recruited some of their little spot friends — his vision is full of them. He’s aware of some children screaming — some adults, too. A distant part of him is aware that multiple handlers are addressing the situation by… saying things, something about staying calm and still, not to move and … other things.

But, Connor is facing a thought somehow more terrifying than a tarantula on the loose.

He’s going to pass out. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

He tries to blink away the dark wave of spots as he makes a decision. 

He simply will not allow that to happen. He will not pass out. He refuses to stoop to Ben’s, of all peoples, level. And, most importantly, he made a promise to Felix that the one thing he wouldn’t do would be to pass out. 

So, it simply can’t happen. 

He stands up, only semi-aware of the screams and chaos unfolding around him. His one and only goal in life has suddenly become making it outside to the car. He’s sure he’ll be fine once he’s outside. It’s just so damn hot in this stupid reptile hell he’s found himself stuck in, and he knows he has a fever — he’s known the whole time. He stupidly forgot to take any ibuprofen before he left the car and was too embarrassed to confess to Felix how much he needed it, so he refused to go back out to get any. 

He just needs to get outside.

He’s breathing quickly as his heart pounds. His field of vision is entirely full of splotches, keeping him from seeing anything. But, still, he keeps walking, his brain growing more fuzzy, his legs weaker, until he’s jarred to a stop by what Connor can only assume is a wall.

He gives up on trying to find an exit, and is instead met with the very pressing need to sit down. So, he slides down the wall and holds his head between his knees. Every part of him is trembling and sweat is pouring off of him. There’s a roaring in his ears that’s keeping him from hearing anything, but his thoughts are still loud and clear.

 Felix is going to be so pissed at you! Why didn’t you leave earlier? Now you’re going to fucking DIE here surrounded by tarantulas and Gila Monsters and SNAKES and — 

Then a voice breaks through the very thick haze he is stuck in — a familiar voice that Connor adores above all other voices.

 “Nope! Absolutely not happening, Connor Hayes. I am NOT letting you break your promise to me! What did I say? No passing out!”

He feels Felix’s hand on his shoulder — or he assumes it’s Felix’s hand since his eyes are still tightly shut. Connor’s whole body is trembling and he doesn’t think he can get any words out so he continues sitting, silently with his head between his knees. He knows he needs to get up —  needs to get out of this blazing room.

He hears Felix talking to someone but the words are distorted from the roaring still in his ears. Then Felix is handing him an ice cold bottle of water. Connor’s hand is shaking too much to take it. So Felix holds the bottle up to Connor’s lips. Having, for the moment, lost all reservations about appearing weak, he allows himself to take gentle sips as Felix keeps bottle held against Connor’s lips. He feels some of it sliding down his chin, but his vision seems to be slowly coming back, so he keeps drinking the water, paying it no mind.

Much to Connor’s disappointment, Felix lowers the bottle of water. Connor weakly tries to grasp at Felix’s wrist to get him to bring the bottle back, but Felix just huffs out a small laugh. “No, baby, I’m sorry — not too much at once.” 

Connor thinks it’s ridiculous water is being restricted from him when he needs it. So, he tugs at Felix’s hand again. “No, honey. You’ll get sick. You can have some more later,” Felix murmurs softly. Connor is surprised to hear himself let out a literal whimper.

Felix chuckles and runs his hand through Connor’s hair before pressing a soft kiss on his forehead. Felix’s lips feel nice and cool against Connor’s burning skin and he wants them to stay there forever. “You’re okay. I’m here now, and everything’s all right. We’ve just got to get you cooled down, okay?” Connor just keeps his head back against the wall, eyes still shut, as he tries to even out his breathing. 

Felix starts patting his face with cool cloths, and Connor, able to finally open his eyes fully, is relieved his vision is mostly clear. He’s still weaker than he ever has been in his life, but some of his fear is now lessened, especially with Felix still close to him, continuing to pat Connor’s face with the cloth.

He hears talk of someone getting a medic to come, which jolts him to his senses.

He straightens up to the best of his ability, along the wall, breathing out slowly. “No medic,” he manages to say, his voice raspy and faint. “I just — I got overheated. I’m fine now. I just need to get some fresh air,” he says, already beginning to stand up.

“Whoa, babe, take it easy,” Felix says as Connor grasps his arm as he stands up. Connor loves Felix, but Felix’s small stature isn’t going to do much to support him, so Connor allows himself to lean against the wall as he still clings to Felix’s arm. Connor’s legs are not thrilled with having to hold up his way again. He’s shaking like a leaf, and tries not to feel embarrassed by the crowd of people surrounding him.

It’s only now Connor realizes there’s a tarantula in Felix’s other hand. Connor’s eyes widen as he sees the docile creature in its carrier, all eyes watching Connor as though Connor is there for its personal entertainment.

Felix notices where Connor’s gaze has gone to, then smiles, holding up the carrier. “It’s Edna! I managed to catch her, but then I saw you over here, and … well, you know.”

“Sir, are you sure you don’t want us to get medical services? You’re looking better, but it may be safer to get you checked out,” a woman in front of him is saying. 

Connor shakes his head, regrets it as the gesture causes more nausea in his stomach to rise, but he manages a smile. “No, no. I’m better now. I guess I just needed some water, and to cool off. I’m going to head outside now. Thank you so much though,” he says, as his eyes search for the exit.

The woman nods. “Okay, sir, if you’re sure. This does happen sometimes, I’m afraid. We have to keep the building well-heated for all the animals, and it can be too much for some people,” she explains.

Connor smiles again. “That makes sense. I’m sorry for all the trouble. I’m just going to head out to the car now. Thank you for all your help,” he says, beginning to walk toward the exit, brain still fuzzy and legs still shaky. 

Connor is walking with his arm around Felix’s waist until he’s stopped by someone. Connor realizes it’s Becky — one of the tarantula handlers.

“I know there’s been a lot of, uh, excitement,” she says, looking quite stressed out, which Connor figures is fitting given all that’s transpired in the last ten minutes. “But, if you would like to continue with the adoption process, I can get you over there,” she says pointing at a table.

Felix’s mouth drops open. “What? I mean, oh my god, you’re still going to let me adopt her?” Felix asks, astonished.

Becky gives a nervous smile. “Well, yes. Edna getting away was really on me, since I wasn’t paying attention,” she says face blushing, eyes darting around as though she’ll be overheard. “But the way you reacted was impressive. If it weren’t for you, I’m not sure we’d have gotten her back to us safe,” she says, expression serious. 

Felix is also frowning as he looks at the tarantula, as though the thought of Edna’s almost-doom is too much for him to think about.

Connor’s body is becoming wracked again with shivers even though he’s burning up. There are still several people seemingly frozen in place, eyes on him, as he struggles to stay upright. He needs out of this fucking building right now.

‘Hey, sweetie,” Connor says, wincing, as a new wave of nausea tugs at him. “I just… I need to get to the car okay. Just meet me out there when you're done, all right?”

Felix gasps. “Oh my god, of course! I’m sorry. Let’s just go. I don’t even need to get the tarantula,” he says, but he’s already back to looking forlornly at the creature.

Connor, despite feeling one step away from death’s door, smiles. “No, you do need her, I’m afraid. And she needs you, I think. So just do it. Meanwhile, though, I’m going to be in the car.”

“Okay, well, at some point, Connor, you’re going to have to stop being so stupid. I’m not letting you walk back to that car without me.” He turns to Becky. “Becky, I’m going to make sure my stupid boyfriend gets back to the car without collapsing, but I’ll be right back for the paperwork, okay?”

“That’s perfectly fine,” Becky says. “I knew something was wrong as soon as I saw how pale you were,” Becky says, addressing Connor this time. “And with all that sneezing and coughing you’ve been doing… Well, it’s no wonder. It was just a matter of time before you dropped —”

“All right,” Felix says, putting on a fake smile. “If you don’t mind, I’ll go ahead and get him taken care of,” Felix says, using the arm still around Connor’s waist to rub his back in soothing circles. Connor is grateful for the interruption. At this point, passing out seems a better option than watching all these people staring at him, and hearing about how his coughs and sneezes have been apparently audible to everyone during this whole event. He wants out. 

They walk slowly, as Connor’s legs are still protesting any movement. They finally manage to make it out through the exit.

They’re immediately hit with a strong, cold wind. Connor coughs as the sharp wind hits his lungs, but he feels so much less lightheaded and shaky now that he’s out of the heat. Felix’s body, though, has a different reaction to the cold.

“Heh-mkt! Heh-nkt! Heh-nkt!”

Connor watches Felix’s head bob three quick times in a row as he stifles three consecutive sneezes almost silently.

“Not getting sick are you?” Connor asks, not overly concerned, though, because Felix does tend to sneeze after a drastic change in temperature. Connor's own nose is starting to run fiercely, but he's thankful the constant tickle he's been dealing with finally seems to be receding now that he's out of that building.

“Nope,” Felix says, but he still has a finger held out and his breath hitches once more before his head bobs down, then back up again. “Okay, all done. You know how my nose is,” he says, rubbing it, while sniffling vigorously.

They start walking to the car, and Connor goes to open the driver’s side door, but before he can touch the handle, Felix grasps his hand.

“Connor,” he states. “You almost passed —”

“ I didn’t almost anything,” he interrupts, sharply. But he looks at Felix and sees the hurt in his eyes and immediately takes a step back from the door. “Okay. Okay. I — I almost I.” He pauses as everything finally catches up to him. “I almost fucking passed out, Felix. Oh my god,” he says as he fully realizes that he’d been slumped on the floor in a very public place, incoherent, and sweating profusely for all to see. 

Felix laughs lightly. “I mean it was only almost,” Felix says with a shrug of his shoulders. “So, I suppose, technically, you didn’t break your promise.”

Connor still stands, staring at Felix wide-eyed. “Felix, oh my god. That was so fucking… mortifying,” he says, his face in his hands.

Felix laughs, but gently guides him to the passenger side of the car. Connor gladly opens the door and settles into the seat, immediately letting his eyes finally shut.

“I’m going to recline you back, okay?” Felix says, and before Connor can respond, Felix gently pulls up the lever of Connor’s seat to lean Connor back. All he can think about is how blissful it feels to be able to lie down — even if it’s only somewhat. 

He feels Felix’s hand back on his forehead, then his cheeks. “God, I am so sorry, Connor. I knew you were too sick to walk around like that, but I just had to look at the stupid fucking tarantulas. You told me you needed to leave. And — god that must have been so hard for you. And I responded to your honestly by being all ‘but let me look at the spiders first!’ Fuck, Connor, I am so sorry,” Felix says, sounding pained.

Connor, still leaned back with his eyes closed, fumbles his hand around until he finally finds Felix’s. He gives it a squeeze. “Sweetheart, now it’s your turn to stop being stupid. Seeing you today, god… You don’t even know how mesmerizing you are,” he mutters, relishing too much in  the comfort of finally resting his eyes to even consider opening them. He squeezes Felix’s hand harder. “It was worth it. Every second. Even the almost dying in front of everyone part,” he says, smiling sleepily.

He hears Felix laugh, but it’s not his normal, light laugh. Connor’s way too tired to deal with any emotions right now — Felix’s or his own. So he just says “Go get your new furry friend, sweetie. I need a nap,” before shifting to a slightly lower position in his seat. He feels Felix running a hand through his hair again and kissing his forehead.

“No more being stoic, baby. I’m done playing that game. When we get home, I’m going to take care of you so hard,” he murmurs, his hand still in Connor’s hair.

Connor’s much too exhausted, his defenses much too low, for him to pretend that doesn’t sound absolutely wonderful.

Part 8

[downwiththeficness]

Shadow and Veil-Chapter Forty

Summary: Eva Moore’s life was a carefully constructed fiction.  Every day, she did exactly what her mother in law, her husband, and his  best friend expected of her. No mistakes. And, that was going pretty  well for Eva right up until a huge complication literally tried to run  her over. Now, she’s faced with trying to keep the pieces of her life  from falling apart while attempting (and failing) to keep her feelings  for her husband’s new business partner at bay.

A/N: This fic is a sister-fic to A Need So Great and A Need Unleashed.  You do not need to have read ANSG or ANU to read this fic, but there  are Easter eggs from those fics in Shadow and Veil for readers with keen  eyes.  This fic is explicit for canon-compliant blood, gore, violence,  and sex. As such, it is intended for an adult audience, only. A/B/O  dynamics come with their own warning. Anyone under the age of 18 should  not interact with this work. I do not consent to reposting this work to  other platforms. Reblog only to Tumblr.  

Word Count: ~2200

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Eva watched Horacio key into the apartment with her mouth pulled down into a frown. This trip felt far longer than the last, even though it was half the distance. At every turn, they were met with delays. A layover that almost caused them to miss their connecting flight, a run-in with customs, and a terribly irate taxi driver who took the turns too fast. It was as if the very universe wanted to keep them out of Mexico.

The hit of the air conditioning across her face was very, very welcome. Eva sighed as she followed Horacio inside and set her bags down next to the door. Her shoulders dropped from where they felt perpetually shrugged up near her ears. The sweat on her brow evaporated, taking all the discomfort with it.

She toed off her shoes and closed the door. Then, she took a look around.

It was...nice.

She guessed.

The walls were freshly painted and the furniture was new. Some artwork dotted the area, like the kind she might find in a hotel. The décor was all clean lines and sharp, shining metal. As if the room was trying to project an air of sophistication that it definitely did not have.

Horacio opened the fridge, “We have groceries.”

“Do we have alcohol?” Eva replied in a wry tone.

He leaned down and plucked a bottle from the shelf, “We do.”

“Thank God,” she sighed, “I have needed a drink for at least four hours.”

“Only four?” Horacio asked as he popped the top off two bottles.

“I was being generous.”

“Oh? I couldn’t tell.”

She rolled her eyes and took the bottle from him, drinking deep, “Do you think that driver actually had a license? Because I have doubts.”

One side of his mouth lifted, “Should I call the union?”

“You think they have a union?”

A shrug, “Its possible.”

“We’ll call them in the morning,” Eva drawled as she dropped onto the couch, “I’m too tired to deal with customer service.”

Horacio sat down next to her, “You didn’t have to come with me. You know that, right?”

Eva cut him a look, “Yes, I did.” A pause and a sigh, “I’m not having this argument again.”

He leaned his head back against the couch. Eva felt his had reach for hers and looked down to see their fingers threaded together.

“Its only for a few weeks,” Horacio muttered, sounding tired.

“I know.”

He looked at her, “I mean it.”

“I know.”

Horacio pushed from the couch with a soft grunt and pointed at her beer, “Finish that, and we’ll see if the bed is any good.”

Three hours and one desperately needed nap later, Horacio was warming tortillas in a pan while Eva plated the rice and vegetables at the island behind him. The bed was...fine. Serviceable. But, she missed their bed at home. Missed that it smelled like them. Missed the warmth of the comforters and the low drone of the fan Horacio insisted had to run at full speed throughout the night.

A knock stopped her hands from throwing the serving spoon back into the pot. As far as she knew, they weren’t expecting visitors. Horacio flicked off the stove top and went to answer it. Eva watched him the whole way, fingers squeezing the handle.

Javier’s face was not exactly smiling when Horacio opened the door, but it didn’t have the usual glare. He greeted Horacio with a firm hug and a pat on the back. To Eva, he sent a nod and something that was very nearly a smile. She returned it and went to get another plate.

There was no dining room in the apartment. The three of them ended out hunched over the coffee table so they could eat. Between bites, the conversation went through the motions of catching up on each other’s lives.

Javier listened to Horacio talk about buying the house, about his promotion, about the bullshit levels of paperwork that came with that new position. He asked how Eva was adapting and seemed genuinely concerned when she talked about how hard it was for her to get a job.

“Why isn’t she working for you?” he jerked his chin at Horacio.

He shrugged, “She could, if she wanted.”

Eva rolled her eyes, “No, thanks. I’ve had enough police work to last a lifetime.”

“The woman has a point,” Javier asserted with a careless toss of his head.

“Thank you,” she replied, primly. The conversation paused for a moment, and Eva decided that they had delayed long enough, “So, what’s the plan?”

Both men looked at her with narrowed eyes, as if she’d broken some kind secret agreement to dance around the topic for a while longer. Eva lifted her brows at them and waited.

Javier dropped his napkin onto the table and took a long swig of his beer, “I’ve got a man on the inside who is willing to let us do transport. I told him we’d need to be conspicuous, but that we would protect the product.”

Eva cast her mind back to their first few meetings. She set aside the razor sharp nerves and the desperate fear that she would be found out so that she could think about what Josh might be thinking. Planning. Scheming.

“That’s good,” she said, eventually. “Josh already thought you were in the business of getting drugs across the border.”

A nod, “Exactly. We’ll do a few laps around town, draw his attention, and then let him come to us.”

Eva could only imagine what that might entail. She kind of looked forward to observing it all from a distance.

Horacio leaned his arms on his knees, “Its not a very complicated plan, but I think it will work.”

“What if,” she began, with hesitation, “he doesn’t come for you, himself? What if he sends someone else?”

Josh wasn’t in the habit of putting himself in the line of fire, so to speak. That was Alexei’s job. And, with the Russian dead, Eva thought he might be even more careful.

“He’s been looking for Diego a long time,” Javier said, “I think its a pretty good bet that he would want to confront him, man to man.”

Eva laughed, “You don’t know m—.” She cut herself off, having almost referred to Josh as her husband. He wasn’t. Not anymore. “You don’t know him. He won’t want to get his hands dirty.”

“Rage can make a man do things he wouldn’t, normally.”

“Are you sure he is enraged?”

“His whole life got blown up,” Javier said, “We took everything from him.”

She fixed him with an even look, “Yeah, but he got it back.”

“What?”

“He got it back,” she repeated, “The house, the money, the schmoozing with bureaucrats? That was just a hobby. What Josh loved was the work. The chemistry. He’s already doing that, now. Or, so I’ve heard.”

Javier was silent for a few seconds, mouth pursed into an ‘o’. Then, “What do you think we should do?”

The tone of his voice was soft, but he clearly wanted an answer. Eva sat back a little and thought about it. There were a lot of options, most of them so complicated that it would definitely extend the timeline Horacio promised her. She wanted to get back to Colombia as soon as possible. If they took the next plane out of the country, it wouldn’t be soon enough. But, how? How, how, how?

“You need to dangle something he thinks he owns in front of him. Something he will want to get back.” Here she paused and added, with emphasis, “personally.”

Javier drew back, “The fuck does that mean?”

Eva picked up her beer, “You said you took everything from him. He got the thing he cares most about back. The only thing he would even want is…”

It was a foolish thought.

A stupid, foolish thought.

Horacio leaned towards her, “Is?”

Eva looked at him, took in the warm brown of his eyes and that way he hadn’t yet tamed the curls that fell over his brow. He looked a bit like he did when they woke up in the morning. Sweet. Adorable.

“Me.”

All the warmth faded from Horacio’s eyes, “You?”

It was a question, but felt like an accusation.

She felt a small stab of insecurity about what she was about to say, but pushed on, anyway. “Yes. Me.” A breath, “I was property to him. A tool he used to do business. I can tell you that getting his operation off the ground here in Mexico was a hell of a lot harder without me to figure out the logistics and manage the money.” Eva looked at them both, in turn, “He’s going to want his tool back.”

Eva did not say the other half of her explanation. There wasn’t a need to remind him that there was something else Eva represented for Josh. That he had plans for her. It would have only pissed Horacio off, and she needed him to agree with her.

“No.”

Eva cut Horacio a glance, “No?”

“That’s right. No.”

Javier reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, “She could be right.”

Horacio’s lip curled, “I didn’t spend almost a year getting you away from him to let you put yourself back in his hands.”

“Let me?”

Hearing the venom in her tone, Javier stood and gestured towards the door, saying that he was going out for a smoke. Eva rose and began gathering the plates in an effort to stem off some the energy that came with her anger.

Horacio, to his credit, realized his mistake almost immediately, “You said you weren’t going to get involved.”

She had said that. At the table over dinner. On the plane. In the cab. She’d said it over and over, knowing that it was a lie. Deep down, Eva’s motivations were more complicated than simply wanting to be by Horacio’s side while he tried to take down Josh for the second time.

“And,” she replied, “You said that this would only take a few weeks.”

He followed her into the kitchen, “It will only take a few weeks.”

Eva scraped the plates clean and set them next to the sink, “You and I both know that’s not true.”

Horacio turned on the water and plugged the sink. While he squirted soap into the basin, he said, “I didn’t know you were an expert in covert operations.”

He didn’t often speak to her with that kind of sarcasm and it made Eva bristle. Nearly seven years of marriage was enough to give her an advantage over just about anyone in the world. When it came to Joshua Moore, she was content expert, and she didn’t appreciate the dismissal in his tone.

“Really?” she sneered, “Because I seem to remember that it took you months to even get Josh’s attention last time.”

She set the dishes in the sink and stepped aside so that he could grab the sponge. Horacio squeezed more soap onto it and picked up the first dish to scrub away the remnants of dinner. “That was planned,” he asserted. “We didn’t want to scare him.”

“Sure.”

He cast her a glare, “He’ll take the bait faster, this time.”

Eva took the clean plate from him and grabbed a towel to dry it, “Or, he’ll send someone to take the bait for him and you’ll end out shot in the back on the street.”

Horacio scoffed, “He’s not that much of a coward.”

“Yes he is!”

He was quiet while he cleaned the next two plates, dutifully handing them to her. Then, he reached down and pulled the plug, “What if he shoots you in the back?”

Eva finished drying the last plate and sighed, “He won’t. If anything, he’ll want to flaunt that he has me back right in front of you before putting a bullet in you. Gloat. Just like you said.”

They stood in front of the sink while water slowly gurgled down the drain. Eva could admit that they were both right, in their own way. And, they were both just stubborn enough to reach an impasse in the argument.

The door opened and Javier peeked around it, “Uh, everything okay?”

Eva shot him a brittle smile, “Everything is fine.” Then, to Horacio, “When you go out parading around town, I’ll go with you. Let him think that you’re using me the same way he did. That will enrage him. That will get him to confront you, man to man.”

Later, while Horacio was asleep. Eva sat on the couch with a beer. In the darkness, she stared out the apartment window to the street. It was quiet, far more quiet than she expected in such a populated city.

Eva drained the bottle and went to throw it in the trash. Then, she padded through the apartment and into the en suite bathroom. With the door closed, Eva flicked on the lights and reached for her carry on bag.

She set it on the counter and pulled open the zipper. Hands spreading two sides apart, Eva stared down at the only thing that mattered inside. The metal gleamed in the light, drawing her gaze down the barrel. The magazine was mixed in with her perfumes and there were extra bullets in her suitcase.

It didn’t really matter to Eva what Horacio had planned for Josh, once they got him in custody.

There was only one way this was going to go for him.

[the-fiction-witch]

oh come on...

Media Some Dogs Bite

Character Casey

Couple Casey X Reader

Rating Sweet AF

I sat on the sofa my head on the pillow, blanket over me, watching TV, I had a little nap but I was still beyond exhausted, 

I perked up as I heard Edgar crying from the nursery, I rolled my eyes and sat up stretching and yawning, 

"You going?" Casey sat up from his chair where he too had fallen asleep but Edgar's cries jolted him back to the world of the living, 

"I'll go," I sighed,

"I'll go if you want?"

"You don't mind?"

"No, no, you stay I'll settle him." He said as he got up and headed across the apartment, he gave my head a kiss as he went,

So I smiled and laid back on the sofa tucking the covers around me tightly, and soon enough he returned bouncing Edgar on his hip, 

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"The cupboard is empty,"

"Ohh yeah sorry, he was asleep when I got back from shopping so I left them there on the table,"

"No problem, come on then little man,"

"He need one then?"

"he does, he's a stanky little man." he said as he brought Edgar over, Casey sat on the floor setting Edgar on his little play mat and grabbed the changing bag, and brought it over,

"You gonna be okay?"

"Y/n. He's my lil baby man I can do it," He smiled taking Edgar's little feet in his hands and playing with them, 

"Alright," I laughed, 

He smiled and worked on removing Edgar's little onsie "How many buttons do you need? Hey little man? your mummy put you in this, didn't she? Yeah, 'cause there are six million buttons." 

"six million buttons?"

"too many buttons," 

"If I put him in the ones with snaps he breaks out and takes his pants off." I laughed, "Little man's just like his daddy constantly wants to take his damn pants off."

"Little man already understands the frustrations of pants," Casey laughed giving Edgar some kisses as he got his onesie off, "Now how does ... Ahh ohh dear,"

"Umm?"

"The sticky bit didn't unstick."

"Just rip it, Casey,"

"But if I rip it I can't fold it up to throw it away?"

"wrap it in tissue then,"

"Ohh yeah," he nodded, "Ahhh! Christ little man you are toxic." He complained trying to work as quickly as he could getting it off and wrapping it up to throw it away, "Ughh got damn it. that smell is in my brain."

"Yeah, well I mean all he consumes right now is milk, and those little banana and honey squeeze packets,"

"How do you make milk, honey and banana smell so terrible?" 

"He's skilled,"

"Very skilled. ughh god- Ohhh my god..." He complained as he cleaned him up trying not to gag, "Ughh it touched my hand! ughhh - how do you do this without vomiting?"

"Because you get used to it Casey, you don't often do it your not used to it,"

"I guess, You know the day I look forward to the most?"

"What?"

"When you can wipe your own ass little man. I will rejoice that day," he said throwing the baby wipes away, 

"Hurry up don't let him get cold," I giggled,

"Why what happens if he gets-" Before he even finished the sentence it began, "AHHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! STOP! Stop stop stop Edgar, stop." He whined quickly wrapping him up so Edgar would stop projectile peeing on him, "uhhh... it's on my hands, it's in my hair I feel it, ughh I'm pretty sure some touched my face," 

"You want help?"

"No. I can do it," he said, "Baby powder, just cover him just as much as possible, and then we get the new one and we... how does... now that's backwards, no... wait I flipped it both ways how am I still wrong? this is insane. and there is so much pressure in case he gets cold and starts to pee again, uhhh Y/n?"

"Yes, Casey?"

"Help."

I laughed and moved down to sit with them taking the nappy and wrapping little Edgar up in his new clean nappy and his little onesie "There we are, happy little Edgar,"

"Awww, see. That's why you're my baby mama." He smiled kissing my cheek, "I love ya,"

"I love you too," I smiled, before I returned to the sofa getting cozy again, 

"you a happy little man now? a happy clean little man." He smiled picked Edgar up and cuddled him, but the moment he picked him up Edgar made the familiar giggle and rooted away, "Oh come on..."

I couldn't stop laughing grabbing another nappy from the bag and handing it to him,

"The quicker you get potty trained the better little man," 

[serafiel-jacobs]

Hunger (Fanfic)

New Chapter of my Angst series 💜

This time, Carlo didn’t open the door, but the person inside broke the lock and got in anyway. They had a mask on, most likely they were trying to rob the house, how mean, how rude. Carlo will protect his daddy, so he kills them, and Daddy will be so happy that Carlo was brave and protected him.

He stops stabbing and looks around, there is a lot of blood again, but Carlo can’t help himself, he loves being messy when he plays like that, and he likes it when Daddy cleans him up; Carlo can’t clean himself up sometimes, and he can never clean himself up when he kills someone, it’s too hard for him to get the blood off so Daddy has to help him.

Carlo waits and waits for his Daddy, but the longer he waits the more upset he gets, he needs to see his Daddy, and he is tired and sleepy, it’s noon and he hasn’t had his nap so Carlo feels cranky.

He stares at the dead body in front of him, trying to distract himself, but it’s hard, now Carlo is also starting to feel a little… peckish. Carlo looks at all the blood, it looks sweet, the red reminding him of cherry syrup, which Carlo loves, he loves sweet things. Carlo wants to have a little taste but he doesn’t want to touch the one on the floor, it’s filthy to eat things off the floor, so licks the blood from the knife.

It’s not sweet but he likes the taste, it’s very unique, Carlo has never tasted something like this before, he is licking his lips and savoring it. Carlo stares again at the body, he is still hungry, he grabs one of the hands, he doesn’t know why but, he takes it closer and closer to his mouth, putting one of the fingers in his mouth.

And Carlo bites it with force.

——

After tugging him into bed, Geppetto stays by Carlo’s side until his son falls asleep and once his son is finally asleep he starts shaking, his heart is racing extremely fast, faster than ever before, he feels like he is going to have a heart attack, he can’t compose himself but still tries to rationalize in his mind what Carlo has done.

He doesn’t know any better, he doesn’t know any better and that person broke into his home, Carlo was just defending him, he was defending himself and he went a little overboard.

He was eating it, his precious son was eating a corpse.

Carlo said that he got hungry and- and- and he is just a little boy, he doesn’t understand what he is doing, it’s his fault, it’s all his fault, he should have come home sooner, he should have been a better father.

Geppetto puts his hand in his mouth, he feels like he is going to vomit, worse is that he has to come back to the living room and clean Carlo’s mess, he has to see that disgusting scene again.

“He doesn’t know any better, he doesn’t know any better” Geppetto repeats to himself over and over again while cleaning.

——-

“Daddy, are you mad at me?”

Carlo is asking him, probably because he has been very quiet these past few days, not wanting to acknowledge his son’s presence.

“Of course not Carlo” he isn’t mad at him.

He is scared of him.

Geppetto can tell that Carlo doesn’t look convinced and he sees his son getting upset.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Oh God, yes, Carlo you did something awful something terrible.

“No you didn’t” Geppetto lies, he lies because how can he even begin to explain? His son is just sick, that’s why he acts this way, and he didn’t do it with malicious intent.

“I’m just tired Carlo, that’s all”

Carlo starts crying, “Tired because you have to take care of me?”

“What? Carlo I-“

“I’m sorry” Carlo is apologizing, he says he is a bad boy, that he only makes things harder for him, always has.

“It should have been me who died and not Mommy”

Geppetto feels like he is going to faint.

“And when I died I should have stayed dead”

Geppetto hugs Carlo, he is shaking and crying and begging Carlo for forgiveness.

“Don’t say that, please Carlo, never say that again, that daddy loves you, daddy loves you so much”

He is alive, his son is alive and that’s all that matters, Geppetto doesn’t feel regret about causing the frenzy, it was all to bring his son back, all those people had to die so that he could bring him back.

The only thing he regrets is that Pinocchio had to die as well. But Geppetto can’t turn back time, and it was all necessary to bring Carlo back, to have his son, his family back.

Carlo can’t even hug him back, he is too upset, and he just stays still.

——-

It’s very early in the morning and Carlo couldn’t sleep again, and he doesn’t want to wake up his Daddy so he goes to the living room to play. He grabs a stack of rags dolls and some scissors, and he sits the teddy bear next to him so that he can watch him.

“Romeo I think Daddy is lying to me about something”

…

“Yes I know he lies about a lot of things but this feels different”

…

“Well I guess that’s true, I also keep secrets from Daddy”

Carlo is cutting up the dolls, taking away their arms, legs, eyes, or their heads. He is thinking about what he hides from his daddy, like how when he kills people he doesn’t just kill them, he absorbs their ergo, it makes him feel good and strong.

Something funny happens when he kills people, sometimes when he sneaks outside to watch over his Daddy and wants to kill someone, if he touches them in their chest, Carlo can directly pull the Ergo out of their body, and they end up dying, and although it’s not as fun as stabbing them, Carlo is starting to use more this method since it doesn’t leave any traces and he can’t get caught, if he gets caught then he is going to be taken away from his Daddy.

Although Carlo wouldn’t say that they die painlessly, actually it’s the opposite because when he kills like that they can see in their faces true agony. Their eyes go completely blank once they fall to their death.

“Should I tell Uncle Paracelsus about it?”

…

“Yeah you are right, it’s more fun if he doesn’t know, it’s our little secret Romeo”

Carlo runs out of ragdolls to cut and he starts to feel sleepy again, so he goes back to sleep next to his daddy.

——

Geppetto resigns himself, this house is like a magnet for people like a street lamp is for bugs and Carlo kills those people so easily as if they were bugs themselves.

So instead of begging Carlo not to kill people he just lets him, he isn’t worried about getting caught, the police is Krat is incompetent at best and corrupt wouldn’t even begin to describe how their system works, it’s a mafia at this point, no one ever gets true justice for anything and there no one is looking for these people. Who even likes people who go door to door knocking and bothering others?

So he just gives Carlo a few new rules.

-He has to try and not be messy.

And.. that’s it, he doesn’t even scold him for eating them, it’s not as if he can get sick from eating raw meat, his body's new body prevents him from such things. As long as he doesn’t cause a mess, things will be fine.

“Daddy, am I a good boy?”

Geppetto plays with his son’s hair, “Yes Carlo you are a very good boy, look at you, you weren’t that messy today”

Carlo gives out a small chuckle, and it makes Geppetto happy to see his son happy, Carlo gives him one of his big hugs, and Geppetto feels suffocated but it’s all fine, his son just has a lot of love to give.

His son did a good job because he only has a few stains in his body, and his mouth, and the living room isn’t covered in blood, just a small pool of blood where the corpse now is.

“Let’s clean you up, and let me give you a warm bath so you can relax before your nap time”

Carlo has a big grin on his face, a sick twisted grin. His Daddy is so kind and caring, his daddy is so good,

His daddy

His daddy His daddy His daddy His daddy His daddy His daddy His daddy His daddy

Carlo is very strong so he has to protect his Daddy, Carlo is his Daddy’s little boy and he has to be next to his Daddy at all times.

[recitedemise]

His heart trembles. He blinks. He'd write novels for this look had he the lifetime to do so: that is, the way she'd soften at his very sight. Humbled--and oh so fantastically, thank you very much--Gale's very foundations start shuddering sweet. Made phantasmically springtime, he's but her cold-chasing months, and of those titles and names that he's come to go by, this, he argues is his very best. Charmed, he enters the quiet of her tent. It smells musky and deep, something earthy and drizzled with ozone and rain, and distantly, proudly, he smells rounded persimmon; there, in his hair, he smells them, too.

Of course. Serana's little by ways of guests, Gale acquiesces, but riotously, her tent's steeped rich with his constant shadow. Gale's smelled here, too, wafting in the stitching of her too-thin sheets. If ever he should try, he might even hear their phantoms, all their late night blatherings hushed in every corner, threatening to spill like a cup too full. Admittedly, the state of her dwelling is that state of his mind. Turning their talks in those hours past sunset... Sleep, as of late, is nigh impossible.

If she's but a sentinel, then he is, too.

"I have it on good authority that you look wonderful in any color," he answers, smile clever and brows bunched, "but yes, white would do as much justice as any other." And he means it. The wizard studies the clothes she's on, gauging her usual fare of that ink-drip dark. Against it, her specter-like pallor is made more striking. It fashions her dreamy, a creature spun fine from star-shard spools, and at once, he's happy with what necklace he'd chosen; there in his pocket, it rests with heft. His gaze fixes at her neck, veins absent of heartbeat. Then, wholly and terribly, an aching fills his marrow--and stopping, Gale heard her. And Gale looks ahead. Gods. To clear her clothes... What a quaint offer, isn't it? However, dying with haste and painfully rotting, he quashes all hope and masterfully grins. Ha. "Far more than complimentary," Gale, tone practiced, teases. "I'm an endless well of your unsung praise."

Mr. Dekarios. Their knees bump, and amusement, rich and half-tinged with something strained, something hurting, huffs out his throat. It isn't a name he's shared or heard in twice as long, admittedly; however from off her lips, it flutters like music, and for it, the shadows in his face delicately fade.

She's reached through this tundras. Perhaps you're volkihar.

"I'll choose to take that as the compliment I'm certain it was meant to be. In my experience, I assure you, a haggardly scholar is often a triumphant one." Here, he reveals the necklace he'd longly worked on. Weightily, a twinge of nerves, that constant need to thoroughly impress, hangs in his conscience as the opal shimmers. There, the hand holding it half-way quakes, and if Serana squints just a touch, she'll see the black in his nails. Oh. His blood's fouling. What has he done? "Here we are. First thing's first: unfortunately, it won't do much for your usual ailments in the sun," Gale broaches, closely studying her reaction, "but it'll more than do away with your persistent cold. It's one of my finer enchantments as humble as it is. Though it's as they say, simplicity in spares is often best. But let's rid of monologues for now." Please. "Allow me the honor." After a spell, Gale moves forward, resting that jewel against her collar. At once, as though leaping from the green of a summer field, a feeling, a sensation, crests both their bodies. It's warm and balming, a flavor of a nap in a bee-sung noon. Gale lets it lay there, his hand hanging close and beneath her chin, his skin lightly cracked and ghastly... So near, so there, it's plain to see. (Gale. What. Did. You. Do.) "I struggle to think of a better backdrop in which to demonstrate with. Now, with honesty: how distant does the cold feel tonight?" / @cldhrbour

once again , you sit alone in your tent. this time , though , there isn't the inherent cloud of loneliness and despair kissing your cheeks and resting on your shoulders. no it's something different. something akin to contentment. though she does not need to sleep , the vampire has her eyes closed , just short of meditating on a rather busy day. night had fallen and they were nestled within the mountains. familiar territory to her. a few ranges away , up north in snowy capped peaks sat an isolated castle with kin unaware that their princess had awoken. ready to come home. here she sat , listening carefully to every whisper of the trees , every rock that fell. a SENTINEL for the camp so that the mortals she now surrounded herself with could sleep soundly.

how her heart leaps at the familiar soft sounds of dirt and grass crunching under foot.

crimson eyes lift to regard him only after he knocks ( despite having heard footsteps approaching seconds prior ) lit by a warm smile as she wordlessly motions to some pillows beside her. you can always come in , gale dekarios. your presence is always welcome to the girl who had waited centuries to be asked such a simple question. longed for days when someone would finally be the one who breached her space to request her company. " are you saying i'd look good in white ?? " the pale woman shifts to afford him space as he settles , fashioned in a dark blouse that was gathered at her throat , adorned with laces and silks , folded legs in black pants. all to say that , to his point , the only color adorned on serana at the moment was the red threading in her under bust. " my wardrobe at home has some more color to it , i promise. even more so when i was human , if i recall correctly. " a pause. a smile. " maybe i should have you help me clear out whatever the moths haven't engorged themselves on when i return , if you're willing to be that COMPLIMENTARY. "

now that he was close , their knees touching , she can finally see him even in the dark of the tent. darker skin under his eyes , sallow and weary. his presence smaller , a wilted flower out of water that it needs for nourishment. not unlike her after days of starving. a walking corpse. a shade of who he was before. " i've lived my life in centuries of cold and snow , mr. dekarios. "  

she recalls a passage in a vampire hunters book. i told him about the most powerful tribe , the volkihar , paranoid and cruel , whose very breath could freeze their victims' blood in the veins. i explained to him how they lived beneath the ice of remote and haunted lakes , never venturing into the world of men except to feed. they can reach through the ice without breaking it.

" though i'll admit , the kind warmth of the sun has been WELCOMING. why do you ask ?? " much like his presence. and to that end , why would she need the sun if he fulfills such a thing ?? yet she looks at him and can't shake how tragic her wizard looks , sitting in front of her. " i'd hate to distract from your original reasons for gracing me with your company. especially so late at night. but i feel compelled to check in , love. the death shepards were formidable , but i've seen you fight much harder enemies without. . . and forgive my words. . . looking so haggard. " she hazards a hand to reach so that a curled finger could tuck beneath his chin , eyes searching his. a quiet promise. A PLEA TO LET HER IN.

[astaroth1357]

How the Brothers Would Try to Get the MC Back After a Breakup

I have a much longer one in the works, but dug this out of my old drafts and just had to polish it off real quick. Not sure why I never finished it. 🤷‍♀️

Lucifer

His first tactic is to try and make them try to get back with him.

That means he’s going to go out and slay it! He’s going to make sure he’s looking great and really making a point of just how much he can do and how capable he is in literally Every. Way. If they’re watching, he’s going to be amazing. Period.

Buuut he’ll be sure to treat them super coldly throughout... This isn’t him trying to nicely ask them to come back to him, oh no, this is just making a point about how much they threw away, stupid human...!

If this doesn’t send them crawling back then he’s really in a bad place… He really needs them to come back on their own because his pride won't let him…

If he ever has to ask, it will feel more like a business deal than a reconciliation but that means he’s desperate. Hear him out at least.

Mammon

He’s going to be an absolute nightmare...

I think we all know that Mammon would fall apart without MC and it really wouldn't be a graceful fall…

Man will go through all the stages of grief seemingly every hour, everywhere from "WELL I DON'T NEED YA ANYWAY!" to, "Baby I'll buy ya anything, please come back…!"

The worst of it comes out when he's drunk and it's also when his worst ideas sound fantastic!

Not above breaking into their room at night just to sing them a poorly-written, sappy love song.

Also not above begging his brothers, Simeon, and even Diavolo for ideas on how to win them back.

If he could put it on one of those airplane banners and fly it across the Devildom, he would. Please MC, he's trying here…

Leviathan

Pity. Pity. So much pity. He is not afraid to treat his own dignity like collateral damage if he has to.

In the weeks after the breakup, Levi would probably be best described as one of those gelatinous deep sea Blobfish thrown on dry land, just with 90% more sadness and wallowing.

Assuming he leaves his room at all, he'll look like complete trash who hasn’t slept in weeks. Just an ultra-depressed otaku covered in Dorito dust and self-pity…

Basically, everything about him is going to scream, "I'M MISERABLE WITHOUT YOU, PLEASE COME COMFORT ME!!!" and considering that may have initiated their relationship to start with, it's not a terrible tactic.

If turning into a pathetic beached jellyfish of despair doesn't work then he'll try begging too. Third brother or not, dignity was never a priority here. Just MC… Always MC.

Satan

Meet our resident drunk texter.

During the day, Satan is going to take more of a Lucifer route and just be as impressive as he possibly can. However, he doesn't quite have Lucifer's level of deep emotional repression through pure spite…

What that means is occasionally he's going to crack and it's rough.

Get a few drinks in him and Satan will just break into a sobbing mess… Any poor soul in the vicinity will have to listen to his incoherent babbling about how many dates he's had with MC, how much he loves them, and why he can't sleep without them anymore…

But the texts… Man, are they something…

Satan: MC yourr the sptinkles to my waffls

Satan: why did you leave me? 🥺

Satan: im in the bat, its really cold  here

Satan: pleaae come home 😭😭😭

Satan: I'd murder fr yo

Satan: i mean love you

Satan: come back please

Asmodeus

Jealousy. Pure, simple jealousy. You think he can’t have three other people on his arms by the end of the week? Don't you know what you’re missing??

If Mammon is going through grief stages, then Asmo is stuck on anger. To think that he, HE, would be broken up with!! The nerve!!!

He'll go out clubbing and fucking and make a big'ol deal out of it for at least a week, but if it doesn't really help his case then he's really screwed… (like, figuratively this time)

After his anger burns out there'll be A LOT of crying and Asmo will make it his mission to get together again!!

That could involve everything from long-winded apology speeches, to dragging Solomon into complicated "Let's date again!" schemes, to dangling himself in front of MC like a carrot on a stick to try and entice them back.

EVERYONE in the House is going to hear about it and it'll drive them all crazy, but hey, anything in the name of love, damnit!!

Beelzebub

Lots of gifts, mostly food.

You'd think he'd be leaving offerings to a pagan god with the amount of food he tries to give MC… The man could actually feed a village with those plates!

To be frank, Beel doesn’t even have to do all that much in the grand scheme of things. A sad Beel is like a sad puppy, it just tugs at the heartstrings by its pure existence!

It also helps that he'd be willing to just… talk about getting back together like emotionally mature adults (novel concept, I know)

If they talk it out and the MC still isn't interested then expect more food and more sad Beel... He'll pretty much be like a depressed Santa Claus with a bag of T-bone steaks.

Be careful how long you keep Beel sad for though, MC, because Belphie isn't afraid to murder you twice. He's keeping a knife in that pillow. Be warned.

Belphegor

He's too busy not caring to even try.

Seriously. He doesn't care. Really. Not at all. Not even a little. Were they even dating? He didn't notice!

In fact, he doesn't care so much that he's going to nap in all of their favorite places, rewatch all of their favorite movies, and listen to their favorite songs because he just doesn't give a shit.

He doesn't care so much that he'll totally still invite them out to festivals and theme parks because it doesn't matter and they can still have a lot of fun together anyway!

He doesn't care SO FREAKING MUCH that if they wanted to nap together again or even cuddle a bit it's totally fine because it doesn't mean anything and he's fine and they're fine and this is fine!! Everything is a'okay!!!

See? No complaints outta him. But if they wanted to get back together uh… that's fine too… please...

[the-devils-girl94]

Distracting Thoughts

Prompt: Stranded On A Boat

Characters: Beelzebub x Fem!MC

Content Warnings: Masturbation, MC has thalassophobia(a fear of the ocean and other large bodies of water), MC fantasizing about Beel, lots of smutty good times with Beel

(I like how there is a word for how I feel about large bodies of water. Did not expect it to be this long ass word though.)

Another fic for @voltage-vixen ‘s Summer of Smut challenge! Enjoy!

“How on Earth did I end up in this mess?”

A heavy sigh left your lips and you buried your face into your hands.

Right now, you were stuck in the middle of the sea on a boat that Lord Diavolo had outright purchased. Not everything was going so bad, but you wouldn’t be feeling so slighted if everything was going good either.

Oh no, no. It was simply terrible.

For one thing, while you weren’t in immediate danger, being stuck in the middle of the freaking ocean was downright terrifying! All you could think of was scary scenarios of you drowning in this never-ending sea. Like the boat could sink and you could drown, you could fall over the edge and drown, or you could fall over the edge and a nearby shark could see you as a tasty snack and that could be your end. Your mind just kept coming up with the most exaggerated and impossible one-in-a-million chance scenarios that really did no good for you.

You hated being anywhere near large bodies of water, but there was one thing that kept some of the thoughts at bay. And that was you weren’t entirely alone.

You sat on the back deck of the boat Diavolo had purchased, far away from either edge that you didn’t want to be near, and before you was the ever-so lively Demon Brothers of the House of Lamentation. In short, your lively roommates who just make everything so much better...sometimes. Lord Diavolo and Barbatos was there as well but they mostly kept to themselves with Diavolo mostly sunbathing.

Your mind felt more at ease with the guys around since you knew if any of the scenarios did happen, they would not hesitate to immediately step in to save you. Though you still hope it would never have to come to that in the first place. You felt most safe around Beelzebub, the sixth born. 

Your eyes caught him in the pool that was several feet away from you. He was joined by his twin and locked in a fierce game with the second and third born. Well, you say fierce but its clear that Beelzebub is the victor. Mammon and Leviathan were no match against Beel’s pure strength. And had Belphegor been with anyone else besides his twin, he definitely would not have stood a chance against a team up of his older brothers.

You weren’t too interested in their game play, however. Your eyes were trained on Beel. Even before this boat fiasco, your eyes have never strayed far away from the gluttonous demon. For a long time, you didn’t know if it was a crush or if you’re just naturally drawn to his sweet nature.

“Or maybe that chiseled body of his.”

The tips of your ears grew hot as the thought crept in, replacing your previous anxiety-ridden thoughts. Your mind soon became riddled with images of Beelzebub’s torso. Mostly of his glorious pecs and washboard abs because this demon was built like a freaking Greek God. God knew exactly what he was doing when he made him, but him being a demon made his appeal so much greater! It was, in every sense of the word, sinful.

You were brought back to reality when you heard a large splash and some yelling. You looked up in time to see Levi and Mammon getting flung out of the pool by Beel, all while Belphie napped out on a floating donut. The whole thing brought you to tears as you laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Mammon had caught you laughing and scolded you.

“Hey, (Y/N)! Don’t laugh, it ain’t funny!,” he yelled, but you continued to chuckle. You felt a little bad, but it was so unexpected as Beel had grabbed them by their feet and literally threw them out.

“(Y/N) witnessed our defeat...how uber lame,” muttered Leviathan as he rubbed his now aching back.

Wiping away your tears, you let out an amused sigh and went off on your own to explore the boat. You were unaware of Beel calling after you as you walked away.

________________________________________________________________

You thought it would be a good idea to explore the boat since Lord Diavolo had bought it and anything he buys is always luxurious. And it was but...

As you wandered the halls, you suddenly understood what sailors meant by sea legs. Although the boat was mostly steady, there would be an occasional gentle rocking of the boat. And had it been anyone else, it would have been fine but no! It completely unsettled you and your thoughts once again became filled with disturbing scenarios of that all ended in you meeting your end in some extreme way or another.

“Oh why did I think it was okay to go off on my own?,” you thought.

Feeling sick to your stomach, you thought it best to just retire to your room and calm your incessant thoughts. You flopped onto your bed and buried your face into your pillow. You hope this day would end so you could finally get off this nightmare. You tried to refocus your mind on something else, because even with you running through every possibility of drowning in every way possible, you were aware that you were in safe hands. None of the brothers would ever let you meet such an end in this never-ending sea full of wonders and mysteries.

You thought back to earlier and found yourself thinking of Beel once more.

The images from earlier made you kick your legs as your face became hot and flushed. You groaned into your pillow with frustration.

“Fuuuuckkkk!,” you screamed internally, feeling slightly ashamed for thinking about Beelzebub in such a manner. But thinking of him did make the other thoughts fade away to the background. Plus you may have a crush on him, so..was it totally wrong to fantasize about him showing up to your room, body dripping with water and looking at you with lust filled eyes?

....Okay, hold up, that actually is kinda hot.

It was the most prevalent image in your head. It made you wonder if you would have the chance to actually have Beel in your room and let him take you. Or maybe have the courage to be that daring?

You felt a tingling sensation between your legs and rolled on your back, blushing. You dwelled on the thought a little more to the point that it became a fantasy. And you imagined Beelzebub crawling towards you on your bed until his face was a couple inches away from yours. His rough hands were on your thighs, lifting them up so your clothed sex could feel the hardness of his bulge clothed from the thin material of his swim shorts.

The heat within your core began to grow and before you knew it, you were already trying to calm the growing heat with your hand. You were craving for the imaginary touch that only existed in your mind. Rubbing against your clit, the fantasy progressed into Beel removing your clothes and pushing his shorts down to free his hardened member. You imagined him stroking his cock against your sensitive slit that was getting wetter and wetter in reality.

Your breathing became heavy and you brought up a free hand to go under your shirt and bra to twist at your nipples. The fantasy continued as you imagined Beel dipping his fingers inside of you, stretching out your pussy to prepare you for him.

Moans started to escape from your lips as your hands worked on your body to bring you the stimulation and release you desperately searched for. You weren’t aware of it but you were also moaning Beel’s name. Apparently you were being a bit loud, because you failed to hear the knocking at your door and the sound of it opening until...

“(Y/N).”

You snapped out of your fantasy-filled haze when you heard your name. Suffice to say, you were extremely embarrassed to find a blushing Beelzebub in your room, half-eaten snacks in his hands. You quickly covered yourself up with a shout, but it was much too late. You were sure that he had saw everything. He probably even heard you too.

“Waah! I’m so fucking embarrassed! Oh my God,” you cringed, trying so hard to fold in on yourself so you could disappear. 

“Ah, (Y/N)! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to barge in like that,” he apologized profusely. He saw your covers move a bit but no sign of you poking your head out. You whined as you stammered out, “It’s fine! I should have locked my door. I didn’t mean for you to see me...like that...so.”

Ahhh, if anything was more worse than drowning in an ocean where your body likely won’t be found, it was definitely having your crush walk in on you masturbating to him. Ok, maybe not that much worse but still! Tears began to well up in your eyes and you fully expected for Beelzebub to walk out as this situation must have been a bit awkward. But instead you felt your bed dip in a bit as another weight was added. A hand was placed on your back and started rubbing in circles. Your lip trembled as your tears fell, because WHY WAS HE SO FREAKING SWEET!? 

Yeah, you were definitely crushing on him. This is why he was the only one on the crush list.

Beelzebub could feel you trembling and his face was still red from walking in on you. Though if he had to admit it, seeing you like that really turned him on. And to hear you moan his name so wantonly was like music to his ears. But he still felt bad because it was your private time that he interrupted. All because he wanted to hang out with you since he wanted to do so earlier, but you didn’t hear him calling after you.

But now there was a massive elephant in the room and neither of you knew how to bring it up without it becoming more awkward. Or your in case more embarrassed.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes, Beel?”

“I’m still sorry for earlier. I wanted to hangout, but do...do you want me help you a bit?”

You shot up like a rocket and turned wide-eyed to face a startled Beelzebub, who was feeling a bit pervy for asking you that question. But to you, he didn’t need to feel like that because this was the moment you were thinking of earlier! You started to laugh at the irony, causing Beel to become confused which you noticed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m not laughing at you, Beel!,” you chuckled out. “It was just that earlier I was thinking of what would I do if I had you in my room all to myself.”

At that, the gentle giant smiled at you, understanding why you were laughing. He crawled towards you, his face a few inches from yours. You were smiling but your face grew warm.

“So is it a ‘yes’?,” he asked, though his lips were drawing in close to yours.

“Y-yes-mmph,” his lips had closed in on yours and you felt his hands come up to your shoulders. Sliding off the covers from your body, Beel gently laid you back on the bed. You wrapped your arms around him as he coaxed your mouth open with a bit of prodding from his tongue. You could taste the sweetness of the snacks he had earlier as your tongues became entangled. You gasped when he pulled away.

Beelzebub set his focus on leaving kisses on your neck, starting a trail. He got to your breasts and cupped them in his hands, firmly squeezing them. A squeal escaped from your lips when you felt his wet tongue teasing your nipple. He sucked it into his mouth, pulling before letting it go with a pop.

"Ahhaaa, Beel! Please," you pleaded as he devoured your chest. You couldn't take it with him pulling, twisting, and sucking on your sensitive nubs. Your hands had moved to his forearms and you held a firm grip on them as Beel sucked away.

With a final tug, he left your poor nipples alone, going back to his task of leaving butterfly kisses on your body. Your body trembled with ecstasy but soon jolted from a shock when you felt a wet appendage lapping at your swollen clit.

Once Beel had finished leaving you kisses, he came across your pussy, still wet and glistening from when you were masturbating to him. His eyes darkened as his mind drifted back to that scene of you pleasuring yourself, seeing your delectable juices dripping your core.

He just knew that he had to taste you. To devour such a pretty, pink platter that was meant for him to sample. As soon as his tongue made contact with your clit, he felt you jump but he continued to lap at it, enjoying the taste and fragrance you gave off. You squirmed and your pants started to fill the room. Your toes curled and your feet had a hard time not slipping off your sheets as you encouraged Beel to keep going.

His tongue parted your puffy, pussy lips and he noticed your legs trembling. So he hooked his hands underneath your knees, spreading them further to her better access. He let your legs rest on his shoulders, all the while keeping his mouth on you.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," you chanted over and over as your back arched, wanting to rub your sex over his tongue. You could feel yourself coming undone and on the verge of cumming. Beel's member twitched against the thin fabric of his swim shorts as he could tell your release was imminent, but...

Reluctantly, he pulled away from your pussy. He really wanted you to release all your tasty juices over his cock. He wiped away the mix of his saliva and your own cream from his chin.

You groaned but it turned into a squeak when Beel crawled back on top of you. Your legs were still over his shoulders and so you felt your body being folded in half but it wasn't too uncomfortable. But it aroused you more as you could feel his bulge heavy against your sex. You wanted it inside, for it to stretch your walls as you take every inch Beel gave you. For you to cream all over it so you could lick it off him and he could do it all over again.

Beelzebub's lips pressed against yours and you wasted no time parting your lips so his tongue could share the taste of your pussy. You could feel Beel's hands fumbling to pull down his shorts to let his cock finally breath. His lips never left yours, even as he guided his cock to your hole. You had braced yourself but was pleasantly surprised when he sanked into you with ease, but it still raised a moan out of you as your wall stretched to accommodate him.

Beel broke the kiss to let out a hissing sound as your pussy took him in so smoothly. He could feel you clenching around him, wanting to greedily take in more. But he was fully seated inside you, his balls pressed firmly against the plumpness of your ass.

"Shit...(Y/N), you feel so fucking amazing," he said as he recaptured your lips with his and rocked his hips to get a little friction going. He pulled back until only half of his dick was inside and slammed back into you. He repeated the action a few more times, drawing out moans that ended up getting swallowed up by him.

You pulled away from the kiss to cry out freely as he set a hard, quick pace as his hips connected with yours repeatedly. The slapping sound of your skin colliding overcome the sounds of your moans and cries. Beel couldn't help but groan at the way your pussy tightened around him with every thrust. Your body trembled against his as the heat became overwhelming. Your hands scrambled to grip at something, changing from scratching at Beelzebub's back or balling up your sheets into your fist, as you feared that the pleasure was going to take you away.

The seams were tearing and Beel could feel you were close as your pussy convulsed around him. So he sat up, holding your legs up, and pounded away at you. Your moans turned to screams and chants of Beel's name as his cock wrecked you.

"Beeeeel! I'm cumming, cumming!," you screamed, but it didn't deter him even as your released overflowed on his cock. The consistent clenching of your pussy finally drove him over the edge and his seed coated the inside of your walls, a deep growl erupted from him as he pressed his cock deep inside you.

With the both of you spent for the moment, Beel slipped out of you and collapsed beside you. However, he wrapped his arms around you to bring you closer. You sighed contently, feeling very much satiated as well as Beelzebub.

You felt lips pressing against your forehead and giggled before giving Beel a chaste kiss on the lip.

"That was amazing," you smiled. You saw his cheeks redden and the hug tightens.

"I-I would like to do that again...maybe sometime," spoke the blushing giant as he looked into your eyes.

The tips of your ears turning red as you agreed.

You figured this boat nightmare wasn't too bad as you snuggled up to Beel's chest, wondering if you had the courage to say you like him.

You saved the thought for another day to ponder later.

[i-cant-sing]

I wonder what would happen if Y/N had a really bad day and just decided to pick a sibling from the Yan!Todoroki clan like a cat would pick its person and just?? Sit in their lap?? They'd say 'I had a terrible day, no torture today please' before taking their well-deserved nap lookin' all cute and peaceful. Then the sibling would be so proud and confused at the same time but really really happy like 'omg for real? Me? What's happening?? 🥺'. Bonus points if it's Dabi just having the widest grin on his face while staring straight at the rest of the fam seething with jealousy.

I saw your works btw and been inhalin em all cause they're all so good *chef's kiss*

-Vibin' anon

Yandere Dabi comforting sister reader

This is so cute omg. Thank u Vibin anon!

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Dabi:

Shotou had come to pick you up from school today. Even though he had a busy schedule himself, he still made time for you, just like the rest if your family.

"How was school?" He asked.

"Fine."

"Just fine? Wasn't your result supposed to come today?"

You nodded. "It did. I passed."

Shotoy smiled. "Thats great. Did you get your report card?"

You knew he was going to ask for it. You also knew that he already knew what grades you got.

You nodded and handed him the report card from your bag.

Shotou's face lit up when he saw your grades.

"You're first again. I'm so proud of you." He patted your head.

You smiled. "Thanks."

By the time you guys reached home, you already knew that your entire family was home. They always were when your result came. You knew the principal had already informed Enji of your grades, she always does.

When you entered the house, your family yelled "surprise!" You feigned shock as they hugged you and congratulated you on your achievement.

Rei had prepared a little feast for you, everything was made from scratch. Enji was beaming with joy, he was so proud of his little girl. Rei had made your favourite cake, kissing your cheek as you cut it. Enji had gotten you beautiful diamond necklace. Natsuo, Shotou and Fuyumi had gotten you some gifts as well, stuff you had vaguely mentioned about. Dabi wasn't home, but you didn't mind his absence.

Your family had planned to spend the night on the couch cuddling and doing a movie marathon, but when you asked them to excuse you for the night because you were feeling tired, they became a but worried. You reassured them that you just had a long day at school as well, and now that you were stuffed with Rei's delicious food, sleep was inevitable. They nodded, a bit sad that you wouldn't be joining, but understanding nonetheless.

You went up the stairs to your room, and as soon as you closed the door, the smile you had been displaying all night was wiped off.

You sat on your bed and recalled the events of the day. Tears pricked your eyes, but you kept yourself quiet. They're not worthy crying over, you reminded yourself. Still, you couldn't help but crumple up your report card and throw it in the dustbin.

Silent tears fell from your eyes, no longer being able to hold them in. God, its infuriating.

Suddenly, you heard someone knock on your bedroom door. You looked at the clock. 12 am.

Its Dabi.

You couldn't deal with him tonight. You remained silent, hoping he'd leave you alone.

But of course not.

You quickly turned away from the door as soon as you heard it open. Wiping your tears quickly, you heard Dabi come in.

"You brat. Why didn't you answer when I knocked?" He asked, pushing the door close with his foot.

"Leave me alone, Dabi." You were trying hard to stabilise your voice.

"Huh?! Is that anyway to talk to your favourite brother?" Dabi mocked as he pulled at your ponytail. You yelped before turning around to push him away.

Dabi was about to laugh at you when he suddenly noticed the your face. Your eyes were full of tears, lashes heavy with them. Your face was flush, your nostrils flared, your lips in a pulled in a tight scowl. Had you been crying? Or did he make you cry?

"Hey, I'm sorry-"

"Just leave me alone." You said as you angrily wiped the tears from your face.

Dabi was shocked to see you like this. He had never seen you cry, not even when he took his teasing a little too far. So, to see you react like this, it worried him a bit.

"Have you been crying? What's the matter? Did you fail or something?" His voice actually held some concern.

You shook your head, pulling your ponytail loose. "Its nothing. Just leave."

Dabi could see the pain in your eyes. What happened? He plopped down on your bed next to you. "Come on. Tell me." He poked your shoulder. "You know I won't leave until you tell me."

"Its nothing, really." You sniffled, avoiding his gaze.

"Did Enji say something?" Dabi asked, his voice taking a dangerous tone. "Look at me. Did he do something?" He's going to kill that bastard if he-

"What? No. God, just go."

Dabi let out a huff. He'll have to use another strategy. "Fine. Don't tell me. I'll just tell Shotou you have been crying, and then you can answer to him."

Shotou? God, he would just overthink everything and do something stupid.

You caught his wrist just as he was about to leave. "Do you have to be such a jerk every single day?" You glared daggers at him.

Dabi smirked before pulling his wrist away and plopping on the bed next to you. "Yes. Big brother privileges." He poked your cheek. "Now spill."

You looked at him, hoping he'd just get blasted magically. Idiot.

You inhaled deeply before closing your eyes. "Its stupid, really." Dabi stared at you, signalling for you to continue. "Something... happened at school." You paused. "Just a couple of assholes."

Dabi was attentive now. "Go on."

You looked down at your lap, playing with your fingers. "Some kids in my class... they said mean things about me."

"Bullying?" Dabi quirked an eyebrow.

You shook your head. "I- I don't think so. They just said that I only get the highest grade in class because of my dad. Like Enji bribes the school into giving me good marks." You sniffled. "They undermine me. They say I'm not good enough to be in their school, and that the only reason I got in was because of my surname."

Tears dripped down your face slowly, almost as if they were ashamed to fall.

You wiped them away harshly. "And it doesn't matter what I say. I've tried to befriend them, I've tried to get along with them, but they still ridicule me. Its frustrating. They... they don't understand that my only option is to be the best." You whispered the last part, but Dabi heard you loud and clear.

He sat up and gently gripped your chin, turning your face towards him as he narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean 'its your only option'?"

You rolled your eyes. "You know what I mean. I know that no one in the family cares if I get the highest marks or not but...I still have to live up to the family name. What will people say if the number 1 hero's kid is both quirkless and dumb?" Your lips wobbled.

Oh. Ohhhh.

You don't want to let down the Todoroki name; you don't want to let down Enji.

He already knew it was that shithead's fault.

Dabi sighed before pulling you close to him. Placing an arm around your shoulders while his other hand wiped your tears away.

Wanting to prove your worth, that you're a valuable asset to the family. Dabi never thought he'd see himself in you, or his younger self really.

"You're an idiot." Dabi began, carding his fingers through your hair. "You don't have to be the best. You're not expected to. You know, the family knows, hell even I know how hard you worked to get in that school. I've seen how you'd do all nighters, how many times you've turned down going out so that you could do well in your exams. But you don't have to do that." He tilted your chin up, staring into your glossy eyes. "We don't care what the public thinks of us. We won't care if you fail. We don't care you're quirkless. You're not expected to be anything but a good girl." He squished your cheeks together, making you look like a fish. "You just need to be safe. Do you understand?"

You sniffled as you nodded. "Yes. Thank you."

Dabi smiled. "Why didn't you tell anyone before?" You shrugged in response. "You know what would've happened if I said anything. They're already hesitant to let me go to school, this would just give them another reason to homeschool me. Besides, I didn't let their words get to me before, so it really wasn't a big deal." Before? You were about to continue but then kept your mouth shut. But Dabi saw that. He pulled you away from him, his eyes turning sharp as he raised his eyebrows. "But something else happened today as well?"

You averted his scrutinising gaze, keeping your lips sealed as you shook your head no. "Do not lie to me. Or I'll tell Shotou and Enji and then they can handle-"

Your eyes widened. "Do you ever stop making threats?" Rolling your eyes, you told him what happened. "It wasn't anything serious. One of those jerks... thought it'd be funny to try and kiss me. When he tried to force me, I slapped him. Really hard. My handprint still on his face." You smiled at that. "He said the only reason he wasn't using his quirk on me was because I was Todorokis charity case. Then he said that I should be grateful that he was going to kiss me, especially since no one cares about a quirkless, frigid bitch like me." You let out a humourless laugh, but Dabi could see the pain in your eyes. You gave a small smile. "Dont worry. I already know what they said isn't true."

Thats it.

Dabi was already planning murder. He's going to make those little shits pay for what they did to you. The nerve to not only bully you, but make you cry, and then touch you? Dabi is gonna make sure they get tortured in every way possible before he incinerates them-

"Dabi?"

Your soft voice pulled him out of his violent thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"Can you... stay the night?"

He looked at your tear stricken face, your eyes were still laden with tear drops, your nose red from all the sniffling.

How could he say no to you? You looked ugly.

"Its okay. You don't have to-" you were cut off by a pillow hitting your face.

"Move over, brat." He climbed in the bed with you, covering you both with the blanket. "And don't put your cold feet on mine." You smiled cheekily at that.

"Don't hog the blanket- why do you need it anyway?"you yanked the blanket.

Dabi pushed another pillow on your face, laughing as you punched his shoulder. "You're insufferable."you mumbled.

It took a while to get comfortable on your single bed, but it ended up with your head on his chest, while Dabi propped himself against the headboard.

"Thank you." You whispered.

Dabi hummed. "Dont think I don't know why you're doing this."

You smiled softly. He caught on to why you were keeping him home that night; you knew he would do something terrible to those guys. "Promise me you won't hurt them?"

Dabi remained silent. You pulled your head away to look up at him. "Dabi. Promise."

When he didn't reply, tears started forming your eyes. He sighed, before shoving your face back into his chest. "Fine, crybaby. I won't hurt them. Promise." You're such a brat, stopping him from doing his big brother duties.

You went back to snuggling him, not taking long for you to finally go to sleep. Once Dabi made sure you were asleep, he pulled out his phone and texted Toga.

"Need a favour. Up 4 stabbing?"

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Go on a Road Trip!

So, Diavolo, Lord of the Devildom, wants to go on a road trip for reasons unknown. You know what? Screw it, the reason is because Dia wants to do a fun human thing because MC brought it up during tea time. No one can defy the king, so TIME FOR A ROAD TRIP!

Shut Up! HE DOESN’T NEED DIRECTIONS! (Lucifer)

He was going to turn that car around. That’s it, he was going to leave. Someone else drive.

I hope your MC likes staticky traffic updates because that’s what Lucifer constantly had on the radio.

Obviously, some of the brothers complained, so Lucifer put on Beethoven’s Symphony no. 9. HELL YEAH TURN IT UP DJ!

Lol JK no one can car-dance to classical music. Just go back to the staticky traffic updates…

Lucifer would have preferred it if MC or Barbatos were riding shotgun next to him, but Diavolo ended up getting it. Dia is constantly asking Lucifer to stop so he can take pictures of the most mundane shit.

Lucifer stopped stopping after the first fifteen requests.

“I’m not stopping at McDonalds- hang on. Hi McDonald’s employee, one black coffee please.”

In true father fashion, Lucifer got lost and REFUSED to ask for directions. They were lost for five hours before Diavolo finally asked:

“Lucifer, you can turn on the GPS right?”

“Yes, but I don’t trust it.”

Everyone screamed in frustration and were all fully prepared to abandon Lucifer at the side of the road.

Please… can someone else drive? Anyone else…

Are We There Yeeeet..? (Mammon)

Okay, so, Mammon was one of two ways on that road trip. One: complete ADHD daydream zoned out. Or type Two: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEE WEEEEEEEE THEEEEEEEEERRRRRREEEE YEEEEEEET???!

He wanted to stop and go to all the tourist traps, by the end of the road trip Mammon wanted to open his own.

The Avatar of Greed loves driving, problem is, he’s used to driving off into the sunset as a lone bachelor, not with his friends and brothers in the car as well.

He only got to drive once, and it was awful. 0/10 would not recommend. Luke thought MC was driving and called shotgun…

Mammon just turns on the radio for music and hopes something good is on at least ONE channel.

STOP WEAVING BETWEEN LANES YOU MORON-

Not all of Mammon’s time driving was bad, the combined powers of Luke and Mammon meant that everyone stopped at a petting zoo at the side of the road. Everyone had a good time, even though when they got back into the car they all smelled like a farm.

Did anyone else hear that oinking in the car-

*Vibes to Music in the Backseat* (Levi)

After being cruelly dragged from his room and placed in this stupid van… he just climbed into the backseat and put on his headphones.

Maybe anime openings could drown out this problem…

Levi only drove for fifteen minutes, it was the most terrifying fifteen minutes of everyone’s lives.

Mario Kart is not a substitute for proper driving school!

Listen- Levi actually saved the entire trip, after stopping at a gas station everyone noticed that Levi never complained about what was on the radio because he was wearing headphones, so everyone bought their own pair and the car trip was so much more pleasant…

No matter how many times Lucifer told Levi to get his feet off the seat, he wouldn’t listen, he was GAMING and they took him away from his gaming chair! HE NEEDED TO SCRUNCH HIMSELF UP LIKE A GOBLIN TO FOCUS DAMMIT!

Whenever the car would stop so everyone could get out and take a picture or look at something, Levi had to be practically dragged out of the car and manually posed for the pictures.

“Is this one of those vans with TVs in them? I brought the first five volumes of TSL on DVD!”

While Satan was driving they stopped at a lake, and Levi burst out of the car and made friends with all the lake fish.

He was still soaking wet when they had to leave.

I’m a Responsible Driver- IS THAT AN OLD BOOKSTORE?! (Satan)

Satan, we believed in you…

Our favourite nerd wanted to stop at any and all historical spots or cool looking bookstores he saw.

When everyone went to buy headphones, he got a pair with cat-ears on them! Because obviously!

Satan’s a responsible driver, and he’s not as prone to road rage as one might think. He has patience, remember in the Jobs event when he worked in customer service? Those kinds of jobs take a godlike amount of self control to do.

Asmo called shotgun and Satan got to have the wonderful experience of having his ear chatted off by his dear brother.

Satan was not about to have fast food for the eighth time in four days, if everyone wanted food, he’d stop at a restaurant.

He was terribly sorry to anyone who needed to use the restroom, but they should have gone at the last rest stop.

When Satan stopped at the lake, he gave everyone a long lecture on the historical significance of the place, then noticed that Levi was being crowned king of the lake and decided he should cut his history lesson short before Levi abandoned his family to chill with the fish forever.

I wanted Satan to be the normal chill one with the radio… I really did… but deep in my subconscious I feel like Satan would put on one of those language learning DVDs so he can learn another language on the go like a total dork.

Road Rage (Asmodeus)

No one saw this coming but- Asmo gets some B A D road rage. Someone cuts him off? “Hi hello dear, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS?!” Someone doesn’t use a turn signal? “YOU BRAIN DEAD MORON! LEARN TO DRIVE!” Someone just pisses him off? “*prolonged horn sound*”

It’s just… the car trip was so taxing on the poor Avatar of Lust… he was crammed into the middle seat for the majority of the trip… he had to give his sleeping mask to Belphie… Beel was getting crumbs all over him and he couldn’t move over… just so tragic…

Solomon called shotgun and it was the greatest couple of hours of his life. He got a front row seat to Lucifer and Barbatos dragging Asmo back into the car because he tried to pick a fight with another driver.

Asmo wasn’t having a good time…

He didn’t want to stop for any gas station food or go through a drive-thru so it was another expensive restaurant trip. Rest In Peace to the gang’s wallets.

When he wasn’t driving, Asmo was loudly talking with MC or talking on the phone. It was a blessing in disguise when they went through an area with bad phone reception and Asmo finally had to shut up.

Oh well… at least he got a few nice pictures for Devilgram.

MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! (Beel)

We all know Beel is massive, right? His head is touching the ceiling and every speed-bump hurt.

He’s the one begging to stop at every gas station or fast food place they pass by.

Beel’s section in the car was covered in empty bags of Doritos by the end of the trip.

When Beel got to drive, Belphie got shotgun! Hell yeah dream team!

Poor Beel, he got distracted and ended up somehow popping a tire. He pulled over next to a farm, changed the tire, then got back in the car and kept driving.

Uh… there was an awful lack of snoring next to Beel- OH FUCK THEY LEFT BELPHIE!

Belphie was found sleeping next to the cows on the farm they had stopped at earlier.

The cows didn’t want to give their sleepy god up so easily…

After that… Beel didn’t want to drive anymore…

“Look, cows.” (Belphie)

I really need to stop with the cow jokes but I CAN’T

*snore*

Belphie’s crammed between Beel and MC for most of the trip and is probably drooling all over poor MC’s lap or shoulder.

Beware, he jolts up randomly and looks around in a panic before he realizes he’s in a car. This happens every three hours.

Belphie’s not allowed to drive, he’d fall asleep. But when Lucifer takes the wheel and puts on that fucking staticky radio, Belphie forms an idea.

“*ahem* four thousand bottles of beer on the wall, four thousand bottles of beer,”

Mission success, Lucifer wanted to tear his hair out.

Belphie ended up asking to stop when they get to a stretch of road with no streetlights, everyone got out of the and stared at the stars.

…listen, it’s a miracle no one got axe murdered but the stars were gorgeous.

Remember when I said Satan put on those language learning DVDs? Yeah uh…. Belphie woke up from his last nap of the trip almost fully fluent in Spanish. At least one person gained a new skill on this trip…

Oooo, Look at Thaaaaat! (Diavolo)

Even though the side characters were in a different car most of the time, sometimes people would switch to the other car if they met up at a gas station.

By the end of the road trip Dia looked like one of those tourist dads, Hawaiian shirt and all.

Dia can’t drive

He’s absorbing human culture… and human culture involves ordering everything at this random Wendy’s.

Diavolo’s camera roll is so unbelievably full by the end of the trip and he refuses to delete ANY of the pictures.

Most of the pictures are of really weird and boring stuff, like traffic signs and trees, but the picture he ends up printing out and putting in a picture frame is a picture of the whole group at the petting zoo having a grand old time.

He wanted to take home a baby goat but Barbatos said that wasn’t a good idea :(

Help. (Barbatos)

So, it could have been worse for Barbatos, he could have been stuck in the car with the brothers and MC.

Dia always had the seat up front, but when he left the car to go hang out with the dude-squad, Solomon got the passenger seat.

Solomon decided it would be a good idea to pester Barbatos to go faster and take weird shortcuts through (probably not legal) backroads and creepy forest paths.

Good thing Barbatos, Luke, and Simeon had functioning brain cells and knew that’s how horror movies began.

Barbatos stopped for fast food once and only once. It’s not healthy!

He’s the only driver to take suggestions for music, meaning that the side characters’ car was the best one of the two.

“SOMEONE GET THE BARF BAG!”(Simeon)

He’s just… he’s just trying his best not to vomit…

Simeon thought the car would be a good place to get some writing done while they drove down long stretches of road. Simeon was wrong in that assumption.

With his head down way too much while the car zoomed down the highway, Simeon felt himself getting *very* sick about four hours in.

He was worried he may have accidentally eaten something of Solomon’s… but nope. The angel was carsick.

Luke had the important job of patting Simeon on the back as he leaned over the barf-bag while Solomon dry heaved up front.

Hurry and open the windows before Solomon barfs too!!!!

Other than the car sickness, he had the job of making sure Luke was entertained, there was a good hour of eye-spy until they just got to a stretch of forest.

After that, Simeon realized that he could just give Luke free permission to ramble about whatever he wanted and that would keep the little guy entertained for HOURS.

What do You Mean I Can’t Legally Make This Turn?! (Solomon)

Shifty bastard can drive, problem is, he doesn’t care about the laws of the road.

He ended up getting pulled over after breaking approximately 11 traffic laws in less than ten minutes.

“License and registration.” “Yeah yeah yeah…” “…sir, this license expired in 1989.” “…shit.”

Solomon gunned it and managed to use his magic to hide the car and evade the very confused traffic cop.

Luke was completely aghast at the flagrant law breaking, but Solomon’s excuse was that the 80s were a lawless wasteland and he completely forgot he legally had to update his license.

He’s an equally obnoxious passenger as he is driver, but at least no one in the car is bored.

“You know, back in the day cars didn’t have seatbelts.” “Solomon put your seatbelt back on.”

…Can we keep it? (Luke)

He was against this from the start. A road trip? With those nasty demons? No! Never!

Okay fine… maybe he wanted to see some more of the human world… he agreed to go.

After helping Simeon through his car sickness, he misheard the other car say that MC would be driving, and Luke wanted to hang out with his third parent 🥺

That’s how he ended up riding shotgun next to Mammon. It started out rough, but when the two spotted the petting zoo it was all sunshine and rainbows.

Luke made friends with all the animals! He was like a little Disney Prince. He got especially attached to this one piglet, it was a surprise to Simeon that the goodbye wasn’t tearful.

Luke smuggled that piglet out of the petting zoo and they were all over fifty miles away before anyone noticed.

Of course, everyone was just shocked that Luke had stolen something, but he looked so cute holding the little piggy… awwww…

The bros obviously joked that Luke had gone to the dark side and was totally evil because he had taken the pig, much to the poor kid’s dismay.

Simeon tried to convince Luke that he needed to return the piglet but Luke was adamant that he could totally take good care of it.

Welp, time for Lucifer to fix this.

“Luke, you need to go put the pig back, it’s not yours.”

“No! I’ll take good care of it!”

“That doesn’t matter, you stole it. It’s not your property, do you want to end up a scummy thief like Mammon?”

“No not at all. Let’s go return the pig.”

“THAT’S ALL IT TOOK?!”

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Tik Tok Leggings

Masterlist

Summary: Time to test these Tik tok leggings.

Warnings: swearing, Fluff, Cheeky Henry, Suggestive Themes, Plus sized reader

A/N: Just wanted to do something different thinking of maybe having a mini TikTok onshot series but unsure yet. Either way I hope you enjoy and happy Easter to those who celebrate  and those who don't? Have a brilliant Sunday xx

Taglist: will be in comment/reblogs

You eyed the package wearily... just how the fuck were you meant to pull this off? Slowly but surely the confidence  and 'fuck it' attitude was waning. They looked small.... very small.

You huffed a sigh looking at yourself in the mirror eyeing your form. You swear you'd gained some more weight, just a few pounds maybe? But you felt huge. Slowly you unravelled the leggings, it had been a good idea at the time but now you wasn't so sure. They were expensive and even thought you bought them as a little prank you did hope they would boost you confidence or at least be comfy enough to wear around the house.

Being a larger girl it was hard finding comfy clothes and you had to be comfy now that your boys were running around the house like headless chickens. You thought the terrible twos with trainers were bad? Your four year olds had scooters!

You grit your teeth and decided to try the leggings on gearing up for an all put war with the waist band but was pleasantly surprized. The fabric was firm and tummy controlling without feeling you feeling caught by a bloody boa constrictor! A comfy tight not spandex tight. You casually wondered about seeing if the company did bras, this shit would stop the girls from trying to knock you out on the stairs!

You pulled the material setting the... elasticated seam in your ass crack and winced... Okay that's a little strange... but not unpleasant and almost thong. You spun around eyeing yourself in to mirror. You didn't look to bad, if you said so yourself. Sure you wasn't magically strim and fit, you were blessed with a nice thick ass... but unfortunately had the thick hips and large thighs to go with it. You'd never be petite or dainty, but then again henry was huge behemoth of a man so you didn't need to be. As he said on many occasions he wanted a woman as thick as him... and you definitely fit that bill. His thighs were only slightly bigger then yours.

You turned around a few more times. Fuck okay hello there~ you grinned. You may not be the perfect sized woman but fuck if your ass wasn't glorious in these leggings~ this just might work.

You grinned and pulled on one of Henry's tshirts, the grey marines one it was snug and would ride up a little over your tummy showing off your bubble but that you felt was your best feature. And then padded downstairs, henry. Was in the large garden trying to teach the boys how to play rugby... Wanting to start them young.

You pottered about the kitchen chopping up the salad for tonight. Contrary to what people thought you were not large because you ate to much or did little exercise, you had always been bigger and admittedly since having the boys you had gained a little more weight but not ridiculously, you wasn't dangerously over weight.

You hummed looking out the patio door seeing henry jumping for joy as his boys and Kal played 'rugby' darting across the garden to the tiny rugby post at the end. Moving to Jersey to raise the kids was a brilliant idea, you had a huge country house with the land to go with it. Flat and immaculate that spread around the house in nearly four acres the lawn was mostly to the back and side and cornered off with tall hedge rows then beyond it a cornered off veggie plot and greenhouse and a work in progress chicken coop. Soon there will be a decent sized pond and some ducks... Henry didn't know yet, but if he was allowed to have a stables built four god knows how many horses you were allowed your ducks god dammit.

You grinned watching as henry ran around both the boys with his phone out cheering them on as they tor across the garden wrestling each other for the ball. You had panicked when you were told twin boys but you should have known henry would be able to handle it. It was perfect, days like this when he was home and strived to make his sons lives as magical and fun as he could, everyday was a holiday when dad was home.

You shook your head seeing the boys both lay on the floor in the shade completely tuckered out from the mornings fun. Henry can into the kitchen and you held your breath quickly bending over the counter a tad more then normal hoping to get a favourable reaction from your husband. But you couldn't help the tinge of doubt  what if he didn't like them? Or thought you looked bigger then you were?

"Hey sweetheart are the boys fruit shoots in the fri-oh sweet baby Jesus" he coughed cutting himself off  and took a half step back as he came in the kitchen. You giggled and turned to him then nodded your head to the fridge.

"Yeah their in there love" you said smirking and blushing as you saw him eyeing your ass tilting his head slowly down trying to get a better look at your ass making you bite your lip.

"Err yeah yeah... I... hold that thought" he said snapping out of it holding a finger up at you and looked to his phone.

"You just stay right were you are- no nope over bend over again babe... fuck me how did I get such a sexy little mama~" he growled one hand swiping over his screen. You flushed and wriggled our hips a little as you leant forward feeling on top of the world as he openly gawked at your ass. For a second you thought he was taking a photo and made to move wanting to snap up right but he napped his fingers to you pointing for you to get back down and brought the phone to his ear.

"Henry what are you?-" you tried standing once more but he crossed the kitchen pressing himself up against your ass and rocked slowly making you mewl as his bulge pressed against your ass half hard already. Henry huge hand pressed you down on the counter before him and winked then he spoke as who ever was on the phone answered.

"Hey mum, hi can you come get the boys?" He asked and you gasped at him shaking your head at him laughing. He wasn't palming the kids off to their grandparents because he wanted a midday fuck! Not that Marie-Ann would mind, she loved hosting the kids and frequently showed up out of the blue and took them out for the day. She was adamant that both you and henry still had alone time.

"No, no everything's all right I just- somethings come up~" he smirked and you laughed loud shaking your head at him, he was a little bugger! He wriggled his brows at you and nodded then flushed stuttering for a few comments.

"I.. No no of course not mum... muuuum stop- well yeah... yes I know you were young once-oh shit no I didn't mean of course your still young! Your in your prime! Okay yes, yes I promise to try my hardest... yes okay, see you in ten okay love you bye... bye mum I will. Yes I will mum bye" he muttered slowly moving through being embarrassed, shy and strangely confident before hanging up.

"Soo the boys are going out?" You giggled finding the way he reacted ridiculously cute. It wasn't what you expected, maybe a kiss on the cheek and a slap on the ass. But not him shipping the kids off for the day.

"And staying over night" Henry muttered moving both hands to your ass and squeezed and rolled the cheeks about making you squeak and try rising on your tip toes but he just growled following pressing a kiss to your neck.

"And what have we agreed to for this mighty generous gift? What have you promised?" You said arching back into him with a teasing tone knowing Marie would make henry pay for the 'young once' comment.

"Oh you know nothing too big just another grandchild, which wont be hard with these in your closet" he chuckled pinging the fabric that clung to your ass like a second skin. You flushed gasping out at him batting him away slowly. But it was a hard fought battle, Henry won easily sliding the cutting board back then let you spin to face him. He quickly hoisted you up onto the counter top behind you and kissed your lips moaning into you before pulling back and pointed at you.

"Right you stay- right here. Don't you move a muscle Mrs Cavill" he said seriously and backed away from you still pointing making you laugh and kick your feet biting your lip before nodding. Henry backed up to the back door and called out to the boys.

"Boys come on! Your going to grandmas for a sleep over! Go pack a bag, jammies, tooth brush and clothes for tomorrow! Come on mush hop it or cop it!" he called you smiled hearing two high pitch excited voices squealing at the thought of grandma. She spoilt them rotten. They dashed into the house quickly running past the both of you giggle as henry tried playfully nudging them on the bottoms with his foot when they ran through the kitchen to dart up the stairs and pack an overnight bag. Henry slunk out of the kitchen following the boys but kept glancing back at you.

"Remember right there babe, been too long since we fucked in here~" he growled making you flush remembering the last time you'd made love in here. It'd been when you were pregnant, the day you moved in before you redecorated you'd had Chinese take out and then made love in every room in the house.

"I'll be right here love I promise, now... You might want to sort yourself out before answering the door to your mother~" you teased pointing to the large lump in the front of his shorts making him grunt and cup himself trying to reposition himself and left the kitchen to help the boys pack.

You can safely say, these leggings were a success. You were definitely leaving a five star review... You did however regret not filming his reaction for tiktok. Honestly you didn't even have the app your sister in law had shown you and you thought it'd be something fun to try with Henry. You may just get more than you bargained for though, not that you minded... You just hoped you had a girl this time, it was about time to try and even things out a bit.