#oh fuck I just remembered a giant creature??? in one of them

[sodacowboy]

so many weird dreams and I can’t even remember like half of them

[tsukii0002]

So, i like to think that Adam was jacked and reaaaally handsome, like...A LITERAL ANGEL FELL FOR HIM quite literally lol, and for the sake of my delulu let's say that most of the humans that the brothers met where taller and stronger that the humans nowdays (since Adam and Lilith met some centuries ago)

So since the brothers only met humans that were more strong than the nowdays humans, so when they see the mc for the first time (let's imagine that mc is pretty short like...around 5ft/1,50) they are like "??" they knew that humans are fragile and weak but they did not know that now humans are THIS weak and fragile, this was a shock to them.

BESIDES i'm pretty sure that i literally have no canon sorce for that the brothers actually changed their heigths i mean they were angels and now are demons, can't demons shapeshift?? because it's more usefull to them be that heigth, so when they see someone naturally short—Mc—they are a bit shocket specially when they still think that the humans still tall

I guess this apply to all the alredy born demons (i forgot like...the entire lore 😭 so forgive me)

How you think they will individualy react? What will they say? I guess that Beel and Belp will be more shocked since they watched the humans with Lilith while they were tall and strong so i imagine that the two youngests will be like "what lore did i miss?😦" Or "why you are like that 🤨"

Ignore my grammar mistakes 🙈

I really like the concept of changing the appearance, and "the more demonic real form of the brothers" . Also this kind of situation would be: what you asked for by catalogue vs what you get 😂😂. I don't know if I can capture your idea well, but here goes. And as always, thanks for the suggestions 🩷

How the demons react to an actual human (much smaller than they remembered).

Lucifer

Oh father why? As if he didn't have enough to keep a normal human alive, now he has to keep this creature alive? Like are they an average human? In his time humans were more… more.

Lucifer would keep his distance and be stressed constantly, he would feel like Mc was a balloon in a needle shop. He would worry about absurd things like they falling into any crack or hole. But what would really make him lose sleep is the thought of someone so small having so much power over his family, you know, pride.

Lucifer: Mc! Where are you?

Mc: *behind him* here?

Lucifer: One of these days you're going to give me a heart attack.

Mc: It's your fucking fault, not mine, you being a giant is not my problem.

Lucifer: You, little shit.

Mammon

Why so small??!! Are you putting him in charge of something so small? Of all the demons? He's looked after guinea pigs before for work and it's never worked out well, shouldn't you think again?

Mammon would be one of the quickest to forget about it, I mean they are small but they're his human. That is until he hugs or pushes them, because he'll think he's killed Mc and start crying. He has lost Mc countless times. Mammon's the type that gets a heart attack when Mc interacts with any demon, too overprotective.

Mammon: I knew people would pay to pet your head.

Mc: I'm glad business went well, now give me the 90% you owe me.

Mammon: What? That's not- don't give me that face!!!

Mc: It's just that, Mammon, this little face doesn't hold itself… now give me my share or I'll tell Lucifer that you've done business with my size.

Levi

Have they always been like that? Not that he's ever been interested in humans but… Are not they too cartoonist? . I mean in his real form he could pick them up as one of his figures… Does they bite? Small bugs tend to bite the most…

Honestly it makes he a little bit excited because Mc looks like the characters of his animes, that is to say they have the perfect size to be a magical girl. He'd also adapt pretty quickly although he'd be far from forgetting and he'd always be careful because oh god they're so small. Their condition makes it easier to strike up a conversation with them.

Mc: Have you handmade all these cosplays?

Levi: Yep…

Mc: They are for me right?

Levi: Yep.

Mc: Okey…. but I'm not going to wear the goldfish one.

Satan

… Well nice to meet you, don't come near me again. He had read about the great kings, the mighty heroes, the fearsome witches… he wasn't expecting a miniature human. It would be impossible to keep them alive, so he wants to get out of the way.

He has read a lot about humans, but he wasn't prepared for that. It never ceases to amaze him how little Mc's conscience is, anything can kill them! Why do them throw themself headlong into danger? He would start to interact with them very slowly, and even then he would be extremely careful, he wouldn't start to act more calmly until the fourth pact with Asmo.

Satan: *watching two KO demons with Mc on top of them* How?

Mc: I'm like a fiddler spider, tiny but lethal.

Satan: … Cool

Asmodeus

Oh my gosh, they're the size of a pocket dog, (Devildom's pocket dogs are six feet tall) . They don't look like any of the epic heroes or one with Solomon's power. So many things could happen to them, so many things could hurt them, he could do so many things to them… Is this a new fetish?

The one that best adapts his strength without giving up physical contact. At first he thought that Mc must belong to a small group of short humans. When he found out they weren't, he rethought a lot of things. Tempting humans nowadays would be complicated, and even more so if he showed his true form. But for some reason he was now more interested in actual humans.

Asmo: What is it about you that makes you so irresistible?

Mc: Ummm, do you really think something like that?

Asmo: Yes, you are so amazing and beautiful and charming… no human has ever made me feel like that before!!!

Mc: Well, you know what they say… *holds his chin from above* The best scents come in small bottles *smiling*

Asmo: *choked scream*

Beel

This can't be a human… Diavolo has been tricked, he could eat Mc in one bite, normal humans could be eaten in 5 or 6 bites… And why aren't they afraid? Don't they know the real size of a demon? Doesn't natural selection work in the human world?

Beel: *with mc sitting on his shoulders*

He would be super careful, as if Mc was made of porcelain. At first he would be reluctant to get too close, what if he broke something by touching it? But then he'd take on the role of guardian, and if anyone got more than five metres away from the little human, it'd end up as Beel's lunch.

Lucifer: Why is Mc on your shoulders?

Beel: They like to be tall.

Mc: actually it's because when he's hungry I run the risk of him crushing me without realising it.

Belphie

I've seen many humans and this can't be a human 2.0 how is something so small going to help him get out of the attic? He guess it's been too long since he've been down to the human world… if humans had been like that Lilith wouldn't have fallen in love with one…

Belphie: You're warm *placing them on his lap in class*

He fidn't expect anything from the human, however he was the one who took to them the quickest seeing what they achieved in such a short time, it seems that for a human to do great things it doesn't matter if they're small. They are also the perfect size to cuddle and sleep next to. And it's the perfect little warmth bag, as he can carry them at any time.

Mc: I think we can go home now Belphie.

Belphie: *getting up carrying Mcall the way* Cool, let's go sleep in the attic.

Mc: Do I have a choice?

Belphie: *fritting his cheek against Mc* No.

.

.

College is killing me again so sorry for the wait, I'm in a creative block so it's hard for me to write so if you've made it this far thank you very much 😌

[ctrlhope]

I need a Spider Jimin in my life. I have a fear of them and had a giant one in my room, I couldn't kill it or move it, so I just stared at it, hyperventilating and crying. Couldn't look away because if I did, where would it have gone! In the end, my roommate got it after I called for them.

I need Jimin to tell them to leave my space alone or for me not to see them 😔

NOOOOO!!! I used to be so scared of spiders too <//3 like once there was a spider in my room and i stg i looked like i was working in a meth lab with the gear i put on to grab it and take it outside AJHBJSB like had a hoodie tied tight around my head, my old lab safety goggles on, gloves, and a face mask armed with cup and paper in hand. I don't know what i thought it was gonna do to me bro 😭😭 now they don't scare me (i'm now the designated spider-taker-outsider lol) but it must've not been fun at all for you :(((( i'm glad your roomate was there to help you out!! Little spider jimin blurb under the cut to help you cope with the trauma 😔😔

— Dangerous Predator

wc: 1.7k

genre: fluff, hybrid au, soft yandere

content: soft yandere!jimin, hybrid!jimin, spider!jimin, fem!reader, manipulation, kisses, jimin is a good actor, and he’s really sweet <\\3 -> the pitfalls of silk drabble

18+ -> minors / blank blogs dni

Oh god. Oh god what is that– that thing?! 

If your eyes were a second slower, they would’ve missed it. If your reaction speed was just a feather more hesitant you would’ve never noticed the massive creeping brown arachnid skittering across your floor. Legs longer than you’ve ever seen, a massive thorax sticking high in the air making it look all the more menacing, as if it was actually threatening you. As if it had its sights set on you.

The yelp that tears through your throat makes its way out faster than you can stop it, your body jumping high as it tries to scramble on the kitchen counter– plant itself high off the ground, away from where the predator lurks. Ready to do… do whatever it was thinking of doing… yeah. 

Okay, maybe you don’t exactly know what its plans were, but they can’t be any good! Not when it was moving towards your foot like, like that! When your boyfriend is nowhere to be seen, hiding away, sulking in the basement, pretending the food you're cooking doesn’t smell as amazing as it does. 

Sure, you can handle the small spiders– the little ones that appear as no more than dark spots in the corners you can’t see. The ones that cohabitate peacefully, giving you your space and keeping theirs. Two lives nearby yet never crossing paths. But the big ones, the big ones are a struggle no matter how hard you try to adapt. Especially when they move so close to you, disrupting the peaceful environment you’ve created. 

Jimin normally handles this, is normally the expert on dealing with 8-legged creatures you’d rather not share your domain with. But right now, he’s nowhere to be found. A disagreement only a few hours ago putting a halt on all communication with him. Rather feeling the urge to  stew in your own feelings.

But now, right this very second, you could not give less of a shit about the petty argument. Can’t even remember the cause of it in the first place. The only thing you do know is the rush of adrenaline through your veins, the way your eyes lock onto the predators on the floor. The way it takes slow steps in your direction, moving ever so slowly to where you sit pressed on the kitchen counter, lettuce in hand– the perfect defence. 

If you truly believed what Jimin told you about his ability to talk to spiders, if you thought any deeper about them then you do right now– you would think that it’s actually mocking you in the way it steps. Each slow, careful movement as it keeps its eyes locked on yours deliberate and teasing. 

Fucking prick. 

“Jimin!” Your voice calls before you can stop it, another yelp leaving your lips as you helplessly toss your leaf of lettuce at the mighty beast, completely and utterly missing. It’s almost ironic, really, that the biggest spider of all is the only one that can save you at this moment. 

No more than a second passes before you hear his legs bounding up the stairs, scurrying as fast as he can to meet you. To see what the problem may be. Faux nerves taking over his being as he hears the fear in your tone, calling for him. Wanting him above anybody else. 

He wants to laugh once the scene in the kitchen comes into frame. He really does. He almost feels bad for it, honestly, but you just look so cute as you try to struggle away, eyes not leaving the arachnid below. 

But he’s supposed to be your knight in shining armour. He can coo over how adorable his mate is later. 

“Pretty? What happened?” He asks in a hurry, concern buried deep in his tone as he quickly approaches your shaking form. Arm reaching out, gently taking one of your hands in his own. He brings it to his face, using your palm to cup his cheek as he presses a gentle kiss into the surface, gaze burning with worry over your tied expressions. 

You wish you could say you were soothed, that his presence alone brought peace to your quivering heart but it couldn't. Now that the predator was out of your vision, blocked by the very man you called for, you couldn’t be more alarmed. Your body twisting against him, head trying to poke past him to see the beast still lingering nearby. 

“Min! Min there’s a spider! You have, it’s going to eat me!” You shout, pointing over his shoulder with the other hand. How could he not see how urgent this is! This is a matter between life and death!

The gentle annoyance that finds its way into his veins is quickly washed away, discarded into his brain for later. The only mention of it being the quiet narrow of his eyes, ever so slight that no one would notice it. How could you still be concerned over a little spider when he is right in front of you, saving you? 

Did you forget that he is a predator, too? He can’t believe he’s jealous of a spider right now. 

Mmm, but he knows how humans can be. When they get all scared like this they can’t help themselves but to clamp up, frozen out in fear. One of the reasons he never wanted to be the cause of it. The misfortune that bespoke your mind every waking minute. No, he wanted to be the sunshine on a beautiful day, a field of flowers to dance in. Maybe even a handsome prince on a horse, ready to carry you away. 

So that is exactly what he’ll be. 

Soft eyes looking up into your own, half lidded and dangerous with affection, “Well that just won’t do, will it?” He pouts, lower lip jutted out in a cute expression that can’t help but take your breath away. Mince your mind in half, one side still focusing on the obvious threat while the other causes your heart to pound. Causes a fluttering to erupt from deep within. 

Your pretty boyfriend spins on his heels, placing his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest in a manner that can only be described as the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. His cheeks blown out in much the same way, forcing your brain to think about nothing else other than kissing him.

“Now listen here!” He tuts, admonishing the spider. Somehow, he even seems to make glaring cute. “You better leave my pretty mate alone! This is my territory so unless you wanna mess with me, I suggest you leave.” He huffs, yet can’t hide the playful undertone in his words, only half serious. 

You know he probably isn’t taking you seriously. Can never truly understand your fear of the same arthropod you're dating. And you know the spider probably doesn’t even understand a single thing going on– but at the same time you can’t help the battering of butterflies in your stomach at his words. That he’s going these lengths to make you feel protected and safe. 

“She doesn’t like you around here, and she’s the most important in the world to me. So, if you don’t leave right now and tell all of your friends you're not welcome around here, I'll have no choice but to do it for you.” The spider takes a hesitant step back, suddenly lowering its body closer to the floor, almost as if…

Shit. Maybe he really can talk to spiders. 

“Get out.” And with those final words, the spider quickly turns around and scurries out of the kitchen and into the yard, practically waving a white flag all the way. Your eyes widen in shock, mouth hanging open as your legs drop against the counter walls. Fanning either side of Jimin in his embrace. 

A cute smile is on his lips as he turns around– the cocky, proud kind that you normally roll your eyes at. But this time you can’t help but stare at him in shock, blush dusting your cheeks. Even as he leans closer, planting a gentle kiss against your lips as a reward for himself.

“There.” He smiles, hands coming to rest against your thighs. Any thoughts of dinner completely abandoned. He’ll just order take out once he has you in the nest. “All better.” 

“How– you, you!” You hesitate against the sound of his adorable giggle, his hands pulling you closer to his body. Legs wrapping around his waist on instinct. 

“Mhmm, they won’t come around here anymore. I promise, baby.” He hums, lifting you as if you were nothing more than a stuffed animal clinging against his body. “What do we say when your handsome mate helps you out?” 

Your eyes narrow into a glare at his teasing, but you can’t help wrapping further around him. Pulling him close as he ensnares you further into utter devotion. Becoming your safety net against all things scary in the world. 

“Thank you.” You grumble quietly, a gentle peck against his too-soft lips given as a token of your appreciation in that moment. Stopping yourself before you melt into the feeling of his fangs pressed against your lips. “I appreciate it Min…” 

As you’re finally able to hide your face away in his neck– snuggling against his skin and blocking your vision from any other scary things that might exist in the world, you completely miss the way Jimin tosses a small pile of bugs near the window. The same window that was left open just a crack too wide. The same window that he allowed a spider to crawl inside.

The same spider he may have made a deal with.

He hates when you’re mad at him. Hates it more than anything else when you take away the single thing he craves most– you. So could you really, really blame him for hatching a little plan? One he knew would send you into his arms. Make up for your whole little argument in a second. 

Never, ever wants to be the cause for your fear. But every once and awhile it can serve a purpose, he supposes. Especially when it gets him out of the dog house. Gets you nestled into his web, watching movies for the night. Curled in his embrace, gentle words and soothing hands warming you. 

[ms--lobotomy]

Could you draft something for primarchs with their feisty s/o? The kind of person who’ll go “IMMA BEAT YOUR ASS UP” to anyone they vaguely consider a threat

Thanks! ❤️

Hi, anon! I feel like this prompt is best done as a full-on oneshot with one primarch, so just let me know next time requests are open if you want a different primarch. Hope you like Vulkan!

---

summary: you need to cool off after vulkan introduces you to his shitty brother

word count: 929

content warnings: female reader, nobody calls curze night haunter like he wants and he malds about it, theres profanity so if thats not your thing then oops

---

"I'll beat your ass up! I'll beat anyone's ass up!" you screamed at the top of your lungs as the man you loved hauled you off, neatly tucked under his large armored arm. You made eye contact yet again with his brother, a gangly, pale man with pitch-black eyes. He was not as big as your lover was, but still far larger than you.

"You'll have to excuse her, Curze," your lover laughed. His voice was deep and his face was scrunched up in a smile, but something in his eyes gave away that he wanted to leave, now. "She can be a little feisty at times!"

"I told you, Vulkan, it's Night Haunter!" cried the gaunt man in between fiddling with those giant claws on his armor. "Is it that hard to remember?!?"

"Nobody calls you that!" you exclaimed before your lover turned a corner with you still in his arm, and you saw the black-eyed man no more.

"Fuck off!" you heard that raspy voice cry out from behind the wall.

Later that evening, you were sat on your lover's bed. The sheets were a lovely shade of orange, brightly colored but nothing too tacky. The walls were decorated with images of you and your lover together, although you did not always look happy to get your picture taken. You smiled in a good few of them, though. The skulls of creatures felled by your lover also adorned the walls. Some of them hurt to look at, but others were more ordinary looking.

Vulkan was focused on brewing himself some tea at the moment. "I honestly thought that you two would like each other," he said nonchalantly, pouring himself a cup of it. Steam rose from inside his ornate cup and he took a sip, locking eyes with you. He was out of his armor now, adorned in nothing but a simple robe.

"Are all of your brothers like this?" you asked incredulously. Your hands were bunched up into fists, your knuckles anxiously kneading the bed.

Vulkan threw his head back in laughter, some of the tea falling out of the cup from the sudden movement. "Like Curze? Don't worry, he's got to be the worst of them. Oh." Vulkan paused to take a sip of his tea. "Please don't tell him that I said that, darling," he said, his face falling.

"Alright," you said, a lump in your throat forming. Uh oh.

You had nothing to worry about. A radiant smile lit up his obsidian face again, and you in turn smiled back at him. "I forget," he said, taking another sip of his tea. "What about my brother even got you so riled up in the first place?"

You laughed, something between a pleasant and an angry one. "You don't remember?" you asked, the fire in your voice from earlier beginning to build up again. "He said... on the Emperor, I don't want to repeat it..."

"You don't have to, darling," he said, sitting on the bed next to you. The bed was the perfect size for him, but it made you look even smaller than you were. You were small for a human, and your lover ever accentuated your stature by being over twice your size. He had put his tea down and his arms were around you in a sideways hug.

"I know I don't have to. I will, though," you said, leaning into the hug with a huff. As you opened your mouth to speak, your lover shushed you. You closed your mouth with a slight pout.

"Don't let him get into your head," he said calmly. "It's so cute that you're protective of me, but..." he trailed off. He opened his mouth and closed it, considering his next words carefully. "But I can hold my own against him, I promise. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

You sighed as he pressed his lips to the top of your head. He positioned you so that you were facing him on his lap as easily as if you were nothing more than an object. You wanted to object, to scream that his brother was not only a danger to the mission but a danger to him, but the words got caught somewhere in your throat. Instead you pressed against him, his hands rubbing your back.

"There," he said calmly. For the next few moments there was silence, and you felt nothing but the rising and falling of your lover's chest.

"I'll do it again," you murmured.

Vulkan laughed. You snickered too before your face fell again, your voice still quasi-muffled against his chest. "I'm serious."

"You're serious, now?" asked Vulkan. "Darling, he's just my brother. I told you that I can handle him on my own."

You looked back up at him. "I know. But I don't want you to handle him on your own."

Vulkan's eyes widened. "You don't... want me to?"

"You heard me."

Vulkan chuckled, pressing your head to his chest. "Alright. I'm going to be careful around him. For you," he cooed.

Whether he was placating you or he was going to legitimately change his course of action, you realized that was going to be the best you were going to get. You relaxed in his arms and he closed his eyes. He laid back on the bed, with you on top of him. His hands moved about on your back, slower and slower before they stopped moving and he started snoring, lightly.

"I love you, Vulkan," you said quietly as you fell asleep on top of him.

[gilgamushroom]

HOW TO SELL YOUR SOUL TO BILL CIPHER ‼️‼️ (+ Terms & Conditions CRACKED)

It took.... way, way too long to decode this, so I'm just gonna post it here lol. So!!

From the adorable baby bill page, we've got "ONE EYED KING" which once you put it in the laptop leads to.....

A totally normal recording with no secret messages! Nope, it's never that simple. Morse code reveals a "NAITSUAF" which can also be used in the laptop...

Well, that's fun, now let's click on and go to the contract

Which has a silly little code at the end which translates to "YOU ARE NOW TWENTY ONE GRAMS LIGHTER" and that should be all! except... jesus fucking christ...

Now HERE are the hours of my life that I will never get back. The translation goes:

this contract is legal and binding 🟨 we reserve the right to use your likeness 🟨 voice and small town pluck in whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary 🟨 sans soul 🟨

your soulmate will not recognize you and will walk right past you on a cold autumn day 🟨 never making eye contact 🟨 not even processing that you have eyes at all 🟨 no amount of interaction will move them to a place where they can remember 🟨 in feeling 🟨 they thousands of lifetimes you have already spent together 🟨 each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous rivers 🟨

you were birds 🟨 you were trees with roots entangled 🟨 drinking in the sunlight together 🟨 wherever we go next 🟨 whatever you choose 🟨 I will always be right there with you 🟨🟨 thats done 🟨 buddy 🟨 congratulations 🟨 you have chosen bill instead

mcdonalds reserves the right to put a giant yellow m on your torso and forehead and send you walking through a crowded times square while you scream 🟨 the fries 🟨 the fries 🟨 they don🟨t degrade in nature 🟨🟨🟨 it🟨s an immortal food 🟨🟨🟨 they will be in the landfills long past our deaths 🟨🟨

good god 🟨 the things🟨s i🟨ve seen 🟨 me 🟨 who am I 🟨 oh i🟨m bill🟨s previous lawyer 🟨 he put my soul into a quill pen so I can write his legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in this sick universe 🟨 I used to be so hot 🟨 I was so fine 🟨 now i🟨m fine print 🟨 speaking of which 🟨

bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object 🟨 a strange creature 🟨 a concept 🟨 a sentence 🟨 a tasteful but rusty mason jar with wildflowers in it 🟨

if at any point you wish to have visitation rights with your soul 🟨 you will be swiftly denied 🟨 unless you had a cool day planned for the both of you 🟨 then bill might want to come along 🟨

by signing this document you forfeit any rights to eating soul food 🟨 it will turn to ash in your mouth 🟨 a fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you 🟨 bill reserves the right to dress your soul however he deems necessary 🟨 especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition 🟨 soulmakeoverrr 🟨

your soul may become fractured and placed into different objects 🟨 this has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die 🟨 signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife 🟨 including but not limited to 🟨 heaven 🟨 hell 🟨 purgatory 🟨 big corner 🟨 flow state 🟨 the dream house 🟨 the reincarnation processing center 🟨 axolotl🟨s tank and consequences hole 🟨

signee can no longer board the soul train and is advised to discard all bellbottoms 🟨 signee can no longer have a puppy as a best friend 🟨 they can sense what is gone 🟨 cats are indifferent 🟨

signee may experience occasional demon possessions from horculus the red 🟨 plabos the merciless 🟨 morbus son of mortem 🟨 plaga the oozing and other such common demons roamimg earth searching for weakened 🟨 empty vessels 🟨

tips for ripping your soul out at home 🟨 watching youtube commentary channels 🟨 attending an extended family event with an open bar 🟨 using generative ai and asserting that you are creative 🟨 turning a blind eye to human suffering 🟨 amassing more wealth than needed 🟨 purchasing a blue checkmark

AND THAT'S THAT. I am seeing this code in my sleep :D Anyways, as they say, always read the fine print, unless it's THIS long in which case by god just take this post instead 👍🏼

I'll go back to seeing these symbols whenever I close my eyes now. Take care and don't sign your soul away uninformed <3

[victor-veloci-simp-69]

Episode 1:

I've always loved the intro song ngl. A good intro song makes me love a cartoon. That's how W.I.T.C.H and Huntik got me

Fiona gets to class. Ms Moynihan says she broke three rules. She says this before Fiona bites her apple. Fiona then says that's only two and then misses her shot, making three. This inplies that Fiona either does this regularly, or that Ms Moynihan has some form of clairvoyance.

(The clairvoyance thing could make some absolutely fantastic fanfiction ngl. *writes that down* oooh, I have IDEAS now) anyway, back to episode

The fact that Fiona only took one bite of that apple bothers me

Oh man, that bio class room looks almost exactly like the one I had in high school.

Oooooh yaayyyy! Mah Boi is here!!! Stripey gay boi

Okay, first off:

This place looks like a giant OSHA violation.

Regardless of that (Peter, go fix this giant OSHA violation. Hey, maybe that's why we never see him again, he's too busy fixing the questionable workplace) those scientists look properly enriched.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THINGS IN THE TUBES THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE FROM BEN 10 I SWEAR TO GOD THAT LOOKS LIKE SWAMPFIRE.

On that note, why do we never see Veloci's creepy test tube creatures??? His scientists worked hard on The Horrors

The one on the pink test tube looks like the rose from beauty and the beast

Is that a fucking rail track. I think I remember that one featuring in an ep, but I could be wrong. If I'm right then why was the continuity placed here and not on anything else???

"I got into business to swim with the sharks, not be eaten by them"

Me: Oh, you're declining it? Unexpected.

Peter: I'm in!

Me: ???

That bit of dialogue has always thrown me off. Its the clunkiness.

Bye Peter. It was nice to meet you.

"Break into your usual groups". The dinosquad comes together but kinda acts like they've never interacted before.

Max and Roger seem like they've teamed up before tho.

Caruso at 4:21 is barefoot. He has shoes on at 4:26. We know he had no time to put shoes on and off and on because he's barefoot when he leans over and drops his jacket. When he picks it up he has shoes on again.

...why did they all (I understand Caruso getting his jacket and Buzz getting thrown in) go into the water????

Roger says "nah, I ain't getting in" and then not only gets in the water but throws buzz in.

(The fact that Roger throws Buzz in the water which later results in him becoming a Dino is a great angst fic waiting to happen. If Roger hadn't thrown him in, he would still have been living a normal life)

Ms Moynihan shows up and goes " I thought I made it clear no one was to go in the water"

First off, that was never shown on screen and I don't like that

With the context of dinosquad as a whole, this kind of implies she knows Veloci is dumping his nuclear jizz in the water

I guess it could also be because she didn't want wet students on the bus, but still.

Wait. If no one was suppose to go in the water, and there doesn't seem to be an area with tide pools, then Caruso's stupid sushi list is even more useless since fish don't count.

Anyway, MY BABY RUMP!!! BOOBOO! I LOVE YOU BABY! MY BABY!!!

Hnnngg sexy library I wants please I will crawl into my computer just let me at that library I can live with dinosaur shenanigans. (But can I live with redoing high school? No.)

"Young man, if you don't remember, this is a library 😡 "

My brother in christ, what horrors have you been through that you hear a dinosaur roar and conclude that that is the sound a normal teenager makes naturally.

Caruso's jacket gets shredded. He immidiately blames the dry cleaners. Bro, it was whole when you put it in your locker. What

Fiona gets a tail and it sticks out her truck window. My good bitch, how did you not feel the cold air on your tail???

The fact that Buzz waves his arms while playing video games is kinda adorable

The fact that Ms Moynihan showed them what happened telepathically leaves a lot of possibility for her to leave certain things out and show them only what she wants them to see and think.

And besides that, its also kinda fucked up. There are implications here. My brain is a little fried to parse them all, but there are implications. I know it.

Ohhh!! The cave has a light source! That implies that there are two entrances, which solves my age old question of how tf did they get out of that cave.

Oh holy shit. Young Ms Moynihan is HOT

...she looks a lot like Caruso. Hmmm. Formulating THOUGHTS tm

You think that (if the story she tells is actually true and not her lying to hide a bigger truth that she doesn't want them to know about) Ms Moynihan and Veloci gained the ability to transform because of. Idk. Space radiation or something?

Cuz your genes don't just. Mutate. For no reason. This backstory feels fake af. I think she just lied bc she knew her students knew fuck all about biology and would believe anything

Why did ms Moynihan change foreheads. Did she want to be inclusive and touch everyone's forehead or is she afraid their brains can only handle so much... or did they refuse to hold hands like she asked and now she has to switch foreheads?

"You're a vicious Carnivore!"

"I've moved past that but there is one who hasn't: Victor Veloci"

Might be because I'm getting back into twilight, but this gives off major Vegetarian Vampires vs Normal Vampires vibes.

In this case, Ms Moynihan is Dr Carlisle Cullen and Victor Veloci is Aro Volturi.

"What do you believe?"

Ms Moynihan: "Humans gained dominance because brute force lost out to reason...and love. That's why I parted ways with Veloci long ago."

I smell a Secret. I smell Tea. Spill. I can practically hear tragic dramatic backstory. Was this a "I fell in love story" or a "Veloci didn't care about me" story. Ms Moynihan sounds bitter.

Also, the sheer contempt in her voice when she talks about Victor Veloci. Say what you will about Dinosquad, but it has some pretty good voice acting sometimes.

Max: "I don't want to be a dinosaur"

Ms Moynihan: this is bigger than you, this is about saving the world.

"Can you cure us?"

"Yeah"

Roger: "But I want to stop Victor Veloci :( "

Ms Moynihan mentally: *nevermind, ya'll are too stupid to help me save the world. What was I thinking*

(Genuinely a very confusing arguement. People changed opinions so quickly damn. Not even a line space in between)

"I can't afford all the fancy tech Veloci has" <takes them to her lighthouse filled with huge computers and monitoring equiptment> hmmm. Ms M, I'mma assume you banged some rich bitches in your time and inherited, because no way can you affort a lighthouse on a teacher's salary.

Conclusion: Ms M is loaded.

"The cold forces the Dino DNA to the skin as it seeks warmth" um. That's ominous. It makes the DNA sound like a living parasite. Ugh

Ms Moynihan definitely faked "curing them". She is way too calm about the situation. She was very insistent on them helping her fight Veloci before. And the fact that she could cure literally everything else except for them is sus.

That Megalodon shark was trolling ngl

Veloci sees Fiona as dino: this can only be bc of my experimental dna...or....

That 'or' implies things. Ms Moynihan things.

The fact that Veloci sees the Dinosaurs but not the squad turning into dinosaurs the dinosaurs. Like, by the time Ms Moynihan jammed the feed several transformations have already taken place

Veloci ending with his ominous ass "can't wait to find out more about my new dinosaur friends" is so fun. Love him. Dramatic ass fuck. Ominous. Very sexy.

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 19 REACTION (SPOILERS)

Hold on, alchemy?? I vaguely remember someone saying that they read Secrets of Alchemy and one of the main scholars was Prince Khalid or something? And now Sam learned some Alchemy while looking into the Magnus Institute???

So the Protocol is like...A thing??? Something that can be enacted, like a law, almost? And it was around back in 1684. Not important but...Older than any of our oldest statements in TMA, I think. Which is interesting, I wonder how Chester even got the information. Or FR3-D1, I suppose.

So is the Protocol some sort of...Dastardly alchemy? Like...Frankenstein-esque "creating life" or even bringing people back to life? Because I do think those are the kinds things that were called "Blasphemous" in the 1600s-1700s.

"It was only through the Protocol that we were spared from that Dred emission" Okay, so is Dread a thing we have to keep in mind? I remember for the filing system in the OIAR, one of them is "D" right? It seems like this Protocol is enacted when Things Go Wrong, so is the OIAR basically the people who can enact the Protocol?

"An element of such overwhelming radiance that to look upon it directly was to dazzle the eyes and throw the mind into confusion" I know it's probably not this but it reminds me a bit of both The Spiral but also the sun that Manuela Dominguez made.

I know the name Wilhem from somewhere. He was Gerry's ancestor in TMA ep 23, right? Wilhelm Von Closen?

A small tree??? Wait holy shit this little tree sounds beautiful. Is that concerning to say? IT HAS A FRUIT???? DO NOT EAT IT MF WHAT

Okay so the Latin is translated to, "But you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for on whatever day you eat from it will be the day you die" DUDE DID THIS GUY MAKE A TREE FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN??? IS THIS FRUIT THE FRUIT OF TEMPTATION??? HELLO???

Holy shit. Holy shit did he turn a DOG into a tree AND give it the ability to Know things?? (I don't want to say he made it an Eye avatar because I don't think avatars work the same here)

Okay but why does sound kind of...Beautiful? Like those arts of giant deer creatures in the forest that seem to be made up of just as much of the forest as they are made up of real blood and meat.

He has a cure for it??? Jesus I mean...I don't know what to say I just...Is that dog okay?? I just feel really bad for the dog.

Okay so the Protocol can destroy things that are supernatural, unworldly, etc. And it can be contained or limited to a certain area, depending on the people who enact it.

Also hilariously. It's a Robert writing to a Robert lol.

OUGHHH HE'S ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS YES SAME THE PUTERS ARE LISTENING TO YOU HEHEHEH

"I'm deliberately being given cases that point to The Magnus Institute" I wonder if FR3-D1 wants Sam to keep looking into the institute but Chester (If he is Jon) is trying to keep him away. But he's losing the fight. Additionally, is FR3-D1 possibly the Protocol? Or perhaps, somehow, FR3-D1 has that...Whatever Isaac made...In it and it makes FR3-D1 all knowing?

Alice you can't keep shutting him down like this. You're going to lose him. I kind of understand why Sam is lashing out because I know what it feels like to have someone you really trust tell you that you're crazy when you KNOW you're not.

Obviously, he should have lashed out at Gwen the way he did last episode but Jesus Christ, he just needs someone to listen. Celia is there, but she has her whole thing going on, and I think Sam knows that subconsciously.

So he turns to Alice but she just keeps shutting him down. And I'm pretty she's only being dismissive because she knows something and she wants to keep him safe but she will lose him if she doesn't hear him out.

Okay to be fair. Gwen did ask for this job lol. She could quit anytime she wants it just that my girl is stubborn as fuck.

Oh boy. Yeah Gwen is about to get traumatized AGAIN.

COLIN???? WHO'S HE???? FR3-D1???? COLIN COME BACK HERE WHO IS HE-

Alice is starting to remind me of s1 Jon in the sense that it seems more absurd that she thinks nothing is going on instead of just accepting that things are 50 shades of fucked up.

Edit: I HAD TO READ THE TRANSCRIPT EARLIER SO I ONLY GOT TO LISTENING NOW AND SOMEHOW I MISSED THE MERCURY AND SULFUR FROM COLIN??? HELLO HAS HE FIGURED SOMETHING OUT?? and he's mentioning balance like hello Robert Smirke is that you????

Additionally, I will mention that Cinnabar (a tranquilizer) has both mercury and sulfure in it (Thanks AP Chemistry, I never ended up pursuing you as a degree lol)

[imheretoreadandpostart]

Whirl, Swerve, x Weirdcore!Reader Romantic HCs

Reader is portrayed as a gender neutral human.

You have a pet hairless cat.

Tw for swearing and mention of organs such as eyes n stuff

Whirl

Very friggin weirded out by you at first.

"The fuck do they look like that???"

He did like the repeating theme of blood and organs though.

In fact, its what made him talk to you in the first place.

You were chillin at Swerve's with Rewind when he came up to you and was like

"So.... are those real? if so, who did ya kill, and how?"

Was very confused at why you were giggling until you said they were fake and you made them yourself.

".....they look so real- Aight thats it, fleshie. You, me, this evening, my place."

"Wait why-"

"DON'T QUESTION IT!"

Not knowing what else to do, you ask Rung for directions to Whirl's room. You don't know what you were expecting, but you weren't exactly expecting to be snatched up by his giant claw by the back of your shirt and interrogated about your appearance and mannerisms as if you tried to bring a knife on a plane.

You somehow managed to keep calm though.

Over time though, Whirl did warm up to you and one day confessed and boom! Yall a thing now.

Anyways uhh. He also likes the overall unsettling/calming vibes it can give off.

The liminal spaces kinda work on him? Like yes the place does seem a bit familiar to him, but he doesn't feel the strong sense of deja vu like he's been there before.

Likes your hairless cat.... but also doesn't.

"Yeah, its cute and all, very friendly, nice little fleshy.... but why the fuck does it look like that."

Loves any weird accessories you wear, just these teeny random creatures, items, and organs dangling off you.

Stole a necklace of (fake) teeth from you and he has it hanging off his weird antenna thing on his head unless he's off killing cons or whateva.

Kinda likes the the music you listen to??? Hes weirded out by it definitely, but he does like the melodies.

Not one for physical touch but isn't opposed to it.

He usually pats you on the head with a claw, or has one around your torso (gently).

KISS HIM.

Pet names include: Babe, Squish-ball, Teeny, Creepy Crawly, Critter, Weirdo, Fucker

Will attempt to murder anyone who dares hurt you or the cat, mentally or physically. Unless you stop him of course.

He loves you a lot despite your overall strangeness.

Swerve

He loves your style so much, like i'm not kidding.

I mean how can he not? He's discovering a new human thing, that's right up his alley!

Doesn't like the bugs though. Only mildly unsettled by the organs.

And he loves your cat too, absolutely died of cuteness the first time he met them.

"OH MY GOD ROTISSERIE KITTYYYYY!!!"

They get along p well :)

Big fan of your outfits, they're unique, cute, and fun!

Carries the two of you around almost anywhere he goes.

Yall met when you were wandering the ship with your backpack of art stuff and listening to your tunes. You went down a hall you haven't been to yet and stumbled across his bar.

You walk in, staying close to the wall so you don't get stepped on or something. you make it near the main bar when he spotted you.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod they're real-"

He excitedly ran out from behind the bar toward you. He did that thing where you jump, land, and slide on your knees in a sitting position. What a dork XD

He landed next to you and started rambling, You couldn't help but let out a small laugh and smile as he went on.

"Oh wait sorry i forgot to say- My name is Swerve, its so nice to finally meet you!! You look so cool, like weird but very cool. It reminds me of something but i can't remember what- oh wait whats your name?"

He put you on the bar counter as he continued his work all the while continuously chatting with you.

Months later yall got together.

Very affectionate. Like i'm not kidding. Prepare to be held gently.

Liminal spaces work on him. Experiencing the Deja Vu and feelings of unsettlement fr.

Pet names are: Sweet-spark, Sugar, Kiwi, Love-bug

Loves weirdcore music. Specifically songs by Jack Stauber.

Swerve set up a lil place for you on the bar, mostly blankets and pillows with weird patterns, along with some plushies. Like a four eyed cow, a two headed dog, and a clay-face plushie of a duck.

Has lots of lil snacks for ya too.

Won't stop rambling about how much he loves you.

[erstwhilesparrow]

god there are so many little bits of outsiders that make me want to chew glass. in an effort to exorcise some thoughts:

there's something really fantastically horrifying about how much visual and mental space the maze takes up for almost all of the server's run, contrasted with the fact that we learn in the owenge q&a that the maze is one of multiple scenarios, built by STARR for a handful of seasons and ultimately meaning nothing. all this about learning the maze, this structure that was the outsiders' whole world for what they believed to be years, and it was a set piece that might not ever be used again. i can't stop thinking about the fact that on the literal actual minecraft server, the maze was built floating in the sky, and like, yeah. it was for this one server and nothing else. i get why you'd build it like that, in terms of practical concerns, but god. to know that thing never even touched the 'actual' ground.

hey. cc!owen PLAYS A GOOD FUCKING HEEL. oh my god he's good at playing the bad guy. this is not like thoughtful analysis at all but being able to hear so clearly the shift in tone when he goes into hunting mode, the willingness to just let things sit in silence, the way he completely sells a character's absolute conviction. the way when he has a knife in his mostly-empty hotbar during Spill Your Guts the distance between the currently selected slot and the knife right next to it feels like a tangible weight somehow!

speaking of which. please tell me the berries in his hotbar during his demon killing spree aren't raspberries. i can't actually identify them because i'm not familiar with the mod but i think if they're raspberries i would simply explode into a million bits of confetti.

hey remember how there was a giant underground reservoir beneath the clearing containing the skeleton of some enormous creature? was that fucked up or what.

hey also remember how one of the last written records left by the people who died in the frozen clearing was about how at least their friends got to die peacefully, in their sleep? remember how the maze was full of notes scribbled on pieces of paper and scrawled in blood on the walls trying to warn them, begging them to get out, hoping against hope that their last words might mean something? remember how mohwee's last words to the outsiders were take care of each other? they tried so hard to look out for each other, and whether they ever did it especially well is an open question but MAN. you can't say they didn't try.

even after deciding apo can rot down in the prison, owen still says, "the next time i see him is when i go shackle his hands together, and drag him through that maze to get him out." in the wake of the [don't dirty my name again] conversation, owen promises rasbi, "we came up together, we're gonna get out of here together." even with his faith in -- and i think i will argue that this is accurate phrasing -- the world shattered, owen has no concept of actually leaving either of them behind. he can't even imagine it. ;-; .

i don't know what the event is called in canon so i'm going to refer to it as [the clearing event with the scuffed mcc energy], the one where acho drowns, and it delights me that the nature of the medium is such that sometimes when owen says something, it becomes true because he said it. (i mean, this is true for all of them, but i say owen because he's the one i watched and he has an interesting degree of narrative control by virtue of having such a comprehensive pov.) acho didn't die in a way that minecraft the game would necessarily call a death, i'm not convinced what happened to him was distinguishable from what the characters call being 'downed' in the maze, but because owen said it, on some level, yeah, acho did die in there. isn't it so fun how you can kill someone by saying they died? reach back through linear time and make true what wasn't before? and i think about this and i think about how often owen declared apo dead, and how it makes apo not just a ghost but a sort of schrodinger's cat. apo is alive except no he isn't except yes he is. reality is so frighteningly malleable in mcrp.

[ask-princessandromeda]

The wind, smelling of ocean salt and light, swaying the hems of clothes, hair and the veil on his head. Kore feels uncomfortable. She always feels uncomfortable in the past, especially someone else's, sticking her nose in their business is not very good. And it's not pleasant. She lowers her head and hunches her shoulders, pulling the white veil tighter over her head - a light, slightly transparent silk hugs her shoulders and back as if wet - in visions she always wears Greek clothes. A white chiton, green himatias and a veil to protect her from the heat/hide her from her father's eyes and hide if necessary. Although she does it more for self-satisfaction, no one can see her anyway. She is a ghost, an ephemeral creature from the past or the future. She swallows and stubbornly walks forward, her bare feet are pleasantly caressed by the hot sand and yet, raising her head, she sees a giant ship - a real work of art, as if created by the hands of Hephaestus himself, this is definitely the best ship this century has to offer. But she doesn't care about the ship - Argo, the ship of the hero Jason, the favorite of Hera - she is attracted to the people standing next to him and their loud voices… She notices the bright golden sheen of long hair, the same as hers. She runs, letting go of her veil. She freezes just a few steps away from them, her eyes greedily absorbing the scene in front of her, the major moment of her brother's fate - Idmon Abaseis, the son of their father Apollo and Abas, mortal seer of his brother-king. He looks like her, really looks like her, even more than the other Apollo children. If they were the same age, he could have been her twin - Idmon was tall and slender on the verge of painful thinness, his silky golden hair shining down to his waist, even their clothes were similar. His golden-green eyes shone dimly. There was a slight smile on his lovely face. "Welcome Idmon!" Telamon's voice was booming and strong on the beach along with the wind, he carefully held a veil on his hands, embroidered at the edges with thin gold threads "The new seer of the Argonauts and advisor of Jason!". Idmon looked away from his friend and looked at her, his gaze warm and understanding. He moved slowly towards her, walking gracefully like a swan sacred to their father. He stood directly in front of her and leaned towards her, his kiss on her forehead was soft and pleasant, balm and comfort. The Argonauts looked confused, they'll get used to it. "My radiant sister," his voice sounded soft and affectionate, like basking in the rays of the setting sun, "You have done everything in your power... I'm sorry that you look like me" "It was an honor for me." she bends down and snuggles up to him, he is warm and soft, she absorbs his warmth like a hungry earth absorbs rainwater. They hug until her visions end.

[Kore was sitting on her bed - it was immaculately tucked in and covered with a soft woolen blanket. Kore wore a wide sweater, her long hair was pulled into a careless bun, loose thick strands streamed down her shoulder to her ribs. She was holding a steaming mug of tea in her hands]. Idmon was the Argonauts' seer and Jason's advisor.

[She took a sip of tea and smacked her lips a little, her breath sounded short and jerky]. He knew he was going to die, but he joined them anyway... I repeat his fate. Moirai really loves graceful repetition.

And... [She tapped the mug several times with her short nails, the sound was surprisingly melodious]. They greeted him the same way you greeted me.

Ethan: *his eye widens as he frowns in surprise and disbelief* Your… brother, you say?

Alabaster: *his gaze wonders somewhere above, as if he’s struggling to remember something* Idmon…argonaut, the knowing one, son of Abas… Oh, fuck.

Alabaster: I… I never made the connection! I’m so stupid, stupid, stupid, I should have. I know the story of the Argo by heart. I…

Alabaster: *pauses* Idmon died killed by a boar, didn’t he? He died knowing that he will, it was his fate, but… it wasn’t right. Although he’s your brother, your mirror, yeah, I know; even though you two should be the definition of “history repeats itself”… I still think that there’s a difference between you and your brother.

Alabaster: Jason never tried to help his Argonauts. Didn’t he leave Hilas to die on that island, abducted by nymphs? Didn’t he leave Heracles, his most valuable mate, behind? I’m nothing like Jason. I can still help you.

Ethan: *his empty gaze falls on Alabaster* You only say that to appease yourself, Al.

Alabaster: At least I’m trying to…

Ethan: *gestures to him to stop* *kneels down next to Kore* This is exactly like…

Ethan: *closes his eye, recalling the day Kore was welcomed on Princess Andromeda* You told me about what will happen after my death, about the Nemesis cabin, about Damien. I was too cowardly to think too much about it at the time. And I held your hand and raised it in the air: “Welcome Kore Pythia Hayashi to our ship! The new advisor of Kronos!”. I felt prideful, and for what? For guiding you to your own death?

Ethan: This damned ship is a grave in development. I have no clue how you could step in it so bravely, like a pig into the slaughter house. You might have lived longer if you weren’t so keen on helping us. And how this Idmon guy did the same entering the Argo. *a ghost of a smile crosses his face* I’ll need to have a little talk with him once I reach the afterlife, won’t I?

Alabaster: *wiping his eyes, now wet* If you do, tell him that I was stupid and couldn’t save you.

Ethan: For fuck’s sake, Al! Nobody asked you to be our savior! Stop beating yourself up and understand already; you’re not stronger than fucking fate!

*Al opens his mouth, but is soon stopped by the sound of a door. All three startle as Luke enters the room.*

Luke: Idmon, right?

Ethan: You’ve been listening to us?

Luke: *ignores him* It’s funny and cruel when fate does this. It repeats and repeats and repeats, like some sort of fucked up game that we have to take part in. This is all that the gods can do, repeat history over and over again. This is all we deserve, apparently… doesn’t this make you angry, Kore? Doesn’t this continuous tread of mindless fuckery that runs again and again like a river over the bloody millennias, doesn’t it make you want to…

Luke: *growls and stops himself from talking before he starts to shout* I pity you, Kore. I pity Idmon. And I pity myself, too.

Luke: *exits the room, leaving silence behind*

[fizzingwizard]

Played the Snufkin: Melody of Moominvalley demo

teehee will the real Snufkin please stand up??

First of all the art and music are so gorgeous. The watercolor effect and paper texture are enchanting. I felt soothed just watching the intro. It's very moomin-y and made me remember how I felt when I first discovered the books. When you walk through puddles, there's the sound of splashing water, and when you cross a log bridge, it sounds like hollow wood. Ideal vibe.

I did try *cough* to jump off the cliffs and stuff... but no, you can't kill yourself in this game, bahahaha. Unsurprising but Idk I've played Sims too long and "how can I kill everyone" has become my modus operandi. Not even Moomins are safe.

You pretty much just use space bar, S, and A, so playing was easy. I encountered some trouble when jumping at times, but Idk if that was jumps being glitchy or just me still getting the hang of it.

Snufkin in this is freakishly strong. Able to carry rocks while jumping across a rushing river and push a giant boulder around. Superstrength!! But it is a lot of fun, really, running and jumping everywhere, climbing things... I got stuck at one point where you have to climb behind a waterfall, because I didn't think you could climb horizontally!

Now this game stars Snufkin, but don't be fooled, it's really a Snufkin roast. You watch Teety-woo (who is leading the tutorial basically) follow Snufkin around getting ignored for ages x'D and he's so complimentary the whole time that it morphs into an insult. The rest of the time, in the name of helping, he does a lot of nothing and you stop feeling bad about ignoring him bahahahaha.

Your "mighty" harmonica x'D has the ability to calm and charm other creatures and make them fall in love with you. I don't care what anyone says, I love this whole music therapy angle. I also like finding inspiration in random bushes. It WAS a bit weird to use the harmonica on this Creep only so he could give me a boost up the cliff lol what was wrong with stacking rocks?

But the harmonica's best use is DEFINITELY hypnotizing birds and then launching them at a target. Who need guns when you have birds?? Seriously this was way too much fun, who knew Looney Tunes humor would be this amusing to me as a full grown adult :P

You get quests, like "rescue all the baby birds." But whenever you feel like it you can fuck off and go fishing for a while. Sorry mama! I didn't notice any game-related effect from it, like catching actual fish. So idk if that's the way it's meant to be, for relaxing, or if I'm just stupid.

I was a little confused when I got like three quests and didn't see how I'd made any progress on any of them. Then all of a sudden the mama bird, who says "woo" when she's sad and "teety" when she's happy, led to the completion of the "Find a name" quest. And I love Teety-woo praising the existential beauty of his own name, and then fucking off to pay some bills. The great Snufkin who?? I've got responsibilities!

Oh no... signs! Oh no... a park! Being asked to look after it is pretty funny! But the ensuing complete and total property destruction is even funnier!

Not even kidding, Snufkin demolishes this park. It was really fun! This game isn't hard, but for someone who doesn't play games, it wasn't too mindlessly simple for me either. I enjoyed dodging the park keepers, launching birds at their heads, and yeeting signs into oblivion.

And we end with the discovery that Moominvalley has dried up and Moomintroll is nowhere to be found! An excellent prologue. I'm definitely looking forward to this game. I like the idea of a game that has both relaxing elements and more energetic ones without being too terribly kiddie (of course it's perfect for kids, I'm just saying, as an adult, I wasn't bored), as well as one that is whimsical and silly without losing emotional depth, with manageable, personal stakes. The demo definitely didn't take me very long to get through and I have no idea how long the full game will be. But long or short, the story seems promising.

[everestphillips]

A Loving Touch

"This was insane, right?"

In one moment, Everest was in the middle of a board room where people barking about his performance at each other, while another bunch was yapping about pretty clothes and frivolous events he needs to attend next. It was all jumbled noise until he heard the song, which cut through everything like a sharp blade. Without much warning, he stood from that room and made his way out, leaving everyone in confusion.

The last thing he remembered was being in his room and sending his family a text that everything will be fine and that he was going to miss them. And practically the moment after he sent that message, he was in darkness. The air cool and damp, and his surroundings unfamiliar, with creatures only barely fathomed through media. Everest was definitely going insane.

Truly, everything from the moment he arrived to his walk to the temple was a blur. Things Everest was witnessing that he couldn't quite believe. Hell, even in the big temple where he's had a moment to be in, he was in disbelief. The godling felt his body was basically on autopilot, instinctively taking him to a certain spot in the giant marble structure before he noticed everyone was waiting patiently before a different god. Maybe he'll finally figure out who his parent is. Maybe it was someone that would make sense of his life. Then he turned around and saw Aphrodite.

"Hmmm." Seemed like it was the only thing he can respond with to this new discovery. He shouldn't be disappointed. I mean, he wasn't. Because at the end of the day, his mother was and still is a stranger.

Nothing seemed to click for Everest, even when the voice started to ring through his head, he just thought it was some elaborate ruse. Though, it's not like he do could anything else but stare at the clocked figured coming closer to him with the chalice. Taking it in his hands, Ev inspected the ornate cup and the weirdly pretty drink inside of it. "Awfully pretty for something that can supposedly do such damage," he thought to himself. Of course, he should have just drank it like he was instructed. The racer did already come this far but he still had some concerns. Even so, before he could say anything, he already saw a few men downing their drinks and being escorted out.

"Oh, so we're just drinking the kool-aid with blind faith?"

Which probably got an ugly look from those who could hear him. Now, all he could think about now was the Jonestown massacre. If this is happening, might as well not be the last one to drink it, he didn't want to be the last one dead. And for some reason, he looked back at the statue once more, feeling a strange sense of comfort before he got the courage to drink his first sip. God, this was fucking awful, he thought to himself as he choked on the strange substance, making sure not to accidentally spit anything out. Nah, he needed to drink everything in one go and not prolonge his torture. So, he raised his chalice like it was some shot and knocked it back in one chug.

When the last drop was swallowed, he felt his blood become hotter, and his heart beating faster until eventually, it felt like fire burned under his skin. Everest gripped onto the chalice while his other hand gripped his chest, his nails digging into his skin, desperate in stopping the acceleration of his heart one way or another. But it was obvious he was losing this battle, and once he lost the grip on his cup, the ring of the metal against the marble was paired with the sound of heart going *pop*.

Everest regained consciousness with a scream, fighting to fill his lungs with the air he needed. It took him many deep breaths until he could feel himself calm down, but once he felt composed, he noticed he was back in his old room. "So it was just a dream" the driver said to himself before reaching out to his phone and noticing that no one texted back. Not even his family. It was bittersweet, but now, they had no reason to worry.

However, now that he was back home, everything he just dreamed about felt real. Like it was meant to happen. Regardless, there was nothing he can do now.

Ever since that day, Everest felt like his days have become meaningless. Everything he did was becoming monotonous, even losing the passion he had to drive. But they still had him in full display, using him to get all they needed from him. He just became a puppet for those he worked for.

Everest has become an emotionless husk, but he still dreaded being made to go out. He was now uncomfortable everywhere he went, because now all eyes were on him. That shouldn't have been something new to him, but this felt completely different. Like they were dissecting him. Like they were undressing him. Like he was in an enclosure for everyone else to enjoy.

Regardless how uncomfortable he was, what was going to come next was even worse. Like clockwork, the crowd just stampeded towards him. The same things being screamed at him, the same empty words trying to take advantage of him, as they clawed at him, ripping through his clothes, through his flesh, until his chest was bare and heaving, ashamed to be at the mercy of the public once more.

Everything has gone exactly the same as every day since his weird dream. Everest expected things to go black, and he'd wake up again back in his car. But instead, he felt the some cool droplets on his skin. Somehow, the gentle rain tethered him to reality, and made him realize, was his life always like this? Beyond the exaggerated horror's he's experienced these past few days, his life has been nothing more than a pageant and a mean for others to climb up the social hierarchy.

Slowly, he was feeling more like himself, the rain now began to pour, washing over his wounds, slowly foaming up only for them to disappear. Everest even felt his heart beat faster. But instead of the same frantic fear he felt when he drank the ambrosia, it made him feel butterflies at the pit of his stomach. He could feel his cheeks turn red, and couldn't stop smiling. Yeah, he was alone, but for once in a long time, Everest didn't feel lonely.

As cute as that heartwarming moment was, he still endured days of torture in just the past eight hours. And now, Everest was on the floor of this strange room. Clearly fallen from the bed with how the sheets have dragged along with him. "Water. I need water," he shouted to no one was as he attempted to get up and find something to drink. Running to the bathroom, Everest splashed water onto his face before he gave himself a good look at himself in the mirror. The godling might have been the son of Aphrodite, but he's definitely seen better days.

"I guess this is real... and i'm doing it too."

[murderbirds]

To claim my rightful place pt. 2

The man in a long, black coat limped down the corridor followed by the bird pokemon, both of which were larger than him. The pokemon to his right was an empoleon, a giant penguin with metallic feathers and features on its head similar to a crown while the one to his left was a blaziken, a tall bird creature with long legs and flames coming from its nostrils. The man finally reached the end of the corridor and pushed the doors open, to reveal an office with another individual sitting behind a desk. He stopped what he was doing to look at the intruder.

"Ah, Oswald, I see that you have finally decided to visit!"

"Skip the bullshit, Galavan!" Oswald grabbed the other by the collar of his shirt, "where the fuck is she?! Where are you keeping my mother?"

"Hmmmm," Galavan poked his cheek in thought, "mother, mother. I can't remember any mother, but maybe I could be persuaded to try a little harder if you did something for me first."

Oswald started to laugh, "of course that's what this is about. Let me guess, you want a pokemon battle, but not any battle, oh no, you want a battle where I let you use legendaries since you could just challenge me in my league at any time, however, you know that without cheating you couldn't even get past my elite four like last time!"

"Oswald. Oswald, Oswald, Oswald, while I do appreciate the work you have done for our beloved Gotham as champion for the past six months, your anti legendary rules are a bit antiquated, don't you think? Not to mention, you are clearly discriminating against those poor legendary pokemon?"

"Discriminating?" The champion scoffed, "oh, so this is discrimination, but members of Gotham's elite being given legendary pokemon as their starters while the rest of the city has to make due with pidgeys and rattatas is not?! It is called equality, Galavan! Everyone gets to choose among the three selected region starters and then you can make a team from what you can catch, no matter what your family's income is, but I get that isn't something they teach in spoiled rich brat school!"

Galavan rolled his eyes, "there you go with all of your equality and for the good of Gotham shit. Too bad that isn't the reason why you are here." The man pressed a button, "Butch, bring Miss Cobblepot here, please." The champion's eyes widened. She was there after all. "I swear, if you did anything to help her-"

"She is fine, Penguin, you have my word as a CEO and fellow evil team leader."

"You are nothing like me or my team! Team Glacier is going to change Gotham, make it a better place for everyone while you want to bring it back to the old ways!"

"Yes, change Gotham, even if that means some people need to die." Oswald shrugged, "well, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs-"

"Exactly, Oswald! See, now you are seeing it! All that people like me are doing is cracking a few eggs!"

"Except that your eggs were never given a choice! The people I kill are people like you, people who would have pulled the trigger hadn't I done it. What I did was for survival. What you and your family did was for greed!"

"Oh, don't be a hypocrite now, Ozzie- I can call you Ozzie right? Don't act like you didn't love the fame, the money! You live in Gotham's third biggest mansion and it certainly isn't to make life better for the poor."

"I'm an inspiration for them!"

"You are delusional! That is what it is!" Galavan laughed and clapped, "a rat who climbed out of a golden toilet is still a rat, no matter how much golden shit it has on its fur!"

"You son of a-" the champion reached to pull out a dagger from his clothes when a cage was pushed inside, "mother!" He gasped and tried to get to the unconscious woman inside the cage, only to be stopped by a machamp. Oswald turned back to Galavan, "let. Her. Go."

"I would love to do that, but like I said, relationships are a two way thing. You will have to do something for me first." The champion inhaled sharply, "fine! You can have your battle, Galavan."

The CEO clapped. "Excellent! Shall we? I have an arena on the roof. Come on, don't be shy now." He smiled and made his way outside. Oswald didn't want to follow, but he knew he didn't have a choice.

1-2(you're here)-3-4-5-6-7-8

Complete Story

[cleoselene]

Lost: Pilot

So getting into my Twin Peaks bullshit as I have, Damon Lindelof's fanboying of Twin Peaks was enough to make me decide to finally get around to watching this show

Let's Rock!~

-I feel like the first thing that this guy sees when he wakes up aside from trees being a PUPPY is a good sign. idk. it seems like a good sign. Was the dog really there tho?

-This scenery is really beautiful considering it's also filled with horror

-absolute NOPE at the giant engines sucking whole people up NOPE

-okay I don't really know anything about this show except: 1. it was on for a long time 2. it's one of those puzzlebox things 3. a lot of people were alternately happy/mad over how it went but I'm going in this knowing Lindelof was HEAVILY influence by Twin Peaks and if that is the case, the answers are less the point than the journey. not going to get hung up.

-this is really harrowing lol. the last time I tried to watch this I was NOT in the right frame of mind. Plane crashes are ASLFKASDLFAJK scary to me because when I was a kid I had a ton of nightmares about them?

-man FUCK all this lol. Let me die if I get in a plane crash. I am not cut out for surviving any of this shit!

-really lucky that they have a physician here

-"let the fear in, but only for five seconds" hmm that's a tactic

-"the plane had a black box idiot, they know exactly where we are" gurl are you sure about that one

-pulling shoes off a dead body :/ rough

-OKAY NO THE DOG IS BACK. WHAT'S WITH THE DOG. The logical answer is "dog was on plane too" but the dog doesn't seem freaked out enough idk idk

-hmmm the radio on the plane went out and they couldn't be seen. INTERESTING. and there's a creature which impales people on trees. LOVELY.

-yeah see I'm feeling this little Hobbit. He's wrecked and he's searching for his drugs he lost. THAT WOULD BE ME. Just let me die, like I said. I need a medicated life. He found his drugs but the problem is, he's gonna run out??? horrible

-okay roflcopter at this bitch sunbathing. She's been annoying so far but now that she's just put on a bikini and is lounging on a towel next to all the carnage? I kind of have to stan, I think this just sent me over to being kind of in love because WHY NOT

-oh the dog belongs to Harold Perrineau's kid? okay. I was convinced that dog was like, some kind of otherworldly creature. THEY BETTER NOT KILL THE DOG.

-Sayid is hot

-oh, the polar bear! wait I think I remember this being a thing that people were mad was never explained. Hahahahah. The owls are not what they seem. Global warming, man!

-So they can't transmit because there's another transmission already going on? What is this message??? Okay so all I can think is of the domestic pigs in Lord of the Flies and how it was a sign of civilization and they all went crazy thinking civilization was nowhere to be found. but this also seems to be a distress call. AND IT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR 16 YEARS? but how has it had a power source that's continued?

NO ONE'S COMING FOR YOU,Y'ALL

[the-owl-tree]

Do you have plot point in any of the warriors books that you wished was more developed? And one that doesn’t involve all the normal erin writing flaws? Mine is the dog pack from the first arc

They’re supposed to be this ferocious pack that can easily wipe out thunderclan not to mention the other clans, but then canonically the dogs only kill swiftpaw and then die easily by being pushed over the gorge

Thats always been my pet peeve with warrior rewrites, they never utilize the dog pack they always write it with swift still dying as usual, bright dying instead or both living but the dogs *never* kill anything else, honestly i want to tell people to just rewrite the dogs as bloodclan cats instead to go ahead, introduce the rogues and get rid of the dogs because why have these giant terrifying creatures and not utilize them, honestly the dogs should have killed MORE cats, not have it be only tigerstar doing the most of the murders

I had always wished that someone had rewritten it to be like napoleon from animal farm and his pack of dogs, where tigerstar still helps the dogs and they form a bond with him and listen to him so that they become a threat, the dogs start killing thunderclan cats yes but also involve the other clans too!! The dogs just attack cats on command not seeing a difference in the clan cats, just not tigerstar

It would have more weight to it and have tawnypaw running away to shadowclan feel more real, because who would want to be on the opposite side with the dogs? But then the other clans(maybe windclan only because of the four become two thing and riverclan is already with shadowclan) and windclan joins thunderclan to help them push the dogs into the gorge and helps push the two clans thing and push windclan to help join thunderclan

And then when tigerstar loses the dogs he brings in bloodclan, then scourge is like “tf the dogs” and thats why he didn’t help tigerstar out first and wanted to think about it prompting the whole gut rippin and then continue to the 6th book

Idk i just see a lot of aus with swift and bright living and it makes wish the dogs were more terrifying to make the aus hit harder

Oh that’s so fair. I think the dog pack sort of presents a difficult challenge for some writers: keeping the terror of the original while also trying to keep them from being too undefeatable. I do wish most of the villains in the series got higher kill counts tbh but the dog pack certainly should’ve been higher up.

I do like an AU where the dogs are with BloodClan, might give them more reason to take on the Clans if they’re killed a few of their pooches.

As for plot lines I want more from….like there’s a gazillion but the one that comes to mind right away is Stonefur’s death. It’s like the absolute extreme of how the Clan’s xenophobic half-clan blood purity lead to the execution of a cat and almost three others (two of which were children!). Yet, it’s so rarely utilized thematically and kept relevant in the stories. For fucks sake, A Starless Clan refuses to even acknowledge it in favor of the pointless “this is just like Tigerstar 1” comparisons (crazy how Leafstar, who wasn’t even there, remembers that and not how THEY EXECUTED CATS FOR BEING HALF-CLAN. WHILE INSISTING THEY STAY OUT OF EACH OTHERS BUSINESS- like Firestar “King of Snooping in Other Clan’s Business” would be disappointed.)

It’s barely relevant in Blackstar and Leopardstar’s story going past arc one- which. look Leopardstar should’ve been a villain. She approved the execution of her own deputy, she’s routinely antagonistic and there was zero reason not to lean into her being a villain.

But yeah, Stonepelt’s execution should’ve been more thematically relevant in a series that’s themes should’ve been about changing the status quo.

[kazimakuwabara]

Mouth  Hands

Summary: A fight goes awry when the group discovers one of the oppoent’s had extra... orifices? (Humor, 1.2k)

***

 The shriek that cut through the room was high-pitched, disgusted, and unexpected. The whole room seemed to pause, and its inhabitants shifted looking in the general direction of the source of the scream.

 Kazuma Kuwabara, who like his friends, had been engaged in hand-to-hand combat with a large demonic man with six arms, was now running around in a circle, shaking his hands out, still half shrieking as his face twisted with disgust.

 "...What are you doing?" Yusuke was the first to ask, fully looking away from his opponent, who resembled a giant pig monster. The pig monster, was also staring, a hand still raised as if he had been about to punch Yusuke in the face.

 "His hands have hands!" Kuwabara choked in panic, no longer running in place, but jumping up and down, switching between shaking his hands out, and then wiping them on his shirt.

 "...His hands have... hands?" Hiei repeated, not looking at his opponent, but kicking them away any time the creature tried to utilize the distraction.

 "I mean. his hands have mouths!" Kuwabara hissed, glaring accusingly at the demon, who held up all six of his hands in a universal, "Don't look at me," gesture. Kuwabara groaned, "I'm all tongue-tied because... it's gross!"

 "His hands have mouths?" Yusuke asked slowly, and then glanced at his opponent, eyebrows lifted.

 The pig monster shrugged, "I didn't know Sabian had mouths on his hands."

 "When he caught my hand, his mouth hand licked me! Like slid in right between my fingers!" Kuwabara accused with a moan, shuddering as he retold his experience.

 Kurama tossed his opponent to the ground, and tossed a seed at the demon. Vines sprang to life and wrapped around the demon, tying him up. While he struggled, Kurama directed his attention to Kuwabara's opponent, shooting him a disapproving look. To the presumed Sabian he scolded, "Now, that's just gross."

 "Yeah, ew!" Yusuke agreed, the Pig monster nodding in agreement.

 Sabian, looking a little awkward, threw up his hands, "I don't have control of them!"

 "What do you mean you don't have control of them?" Kuwabara gasped, looking even more horrified.

 "If you can't control them, you should put like... ball gags in their mouth or something. They're gross!" Yusuke snapped, crossing his arms.

 "...Did the hands just show up one day?" Hiei asked, tilting his head a little.

 "Yeah. Like three weeks ago..." Sabian grumbled.

 "Wait, and you didn't tell nobody?" Kurama's tied opponent on the floor asked, "You sprout extra mouths, and don't say shit?"

 "I need a paycheck too, Knuck! What was I gonna do? We don't got sick leave!" Sabian snapped, his yellowy skin flushing kind of orange.

 "Ew, look at the one on your middle left, it's wagging its tongue out!" Kuwabara lamented, stepping back from his opponent.

 "Ew! EW! I SEE THE TONGUE! IT'S LONG!" Yusuke shouted, pointing out Sabian's middle arm, and hand. On the said hand, a mouth was visible on the palm, and a long tongue had poked out, and was wagging violently all around, seemingly looking for something to taste.

 "Sabian, yo... I think our boss would have let you like... figure this out if you suddenly grew fucked up hands!" The Pig Monster shouted.

 Sabian winced, looking a little shame-faced, "Can we just get back... back to trying to kill each other please?"

 "Oi Kurama, doesn't this sound like Malaris?" Hiei shouted, having quickly killed his opponent already, who had kept trying to sneak attack him while everyone else discussed Sabian's extra orifices.

 Kurama nodded, "Oh, you're right... you guys go into the area around Yomi's territory. There's a lake referred to as the Fire Lake, for the lava it'll spurt at times."

"Oh yeah," Knuck, the tied demon on the ground said, "Sabian, Momo, we went out there a week or two ago 'cuz the boss needed that big purple bug thing, remember?"

Yusuke looked at his opponent, "You're Momo?"

The pig monster glared, "What of it?"

Yusuke shrugged, "Nah, it's just cute."

"I'm a cute guy, off the clock," Momo assured,  snorting as he puffed up his chest.

Kurama sighed, "Did any of you use bug repellent? There's a Malaris fly out there... they sting. And when they sting, they can sometimes leave you with what is called Malaris Disorder... you can suddenly sprout mouths all over your body."

The demon henchmen all groaned.

"No one told us that!" Knuck groaned, "I don't want hands!"

"You should have already grown them by now, if you had it. I think just your friend Sabian caught it," Kurama sighed.

"Well, great, what do I do!?" Sabian asked now looking at his hands, and frowning at all the hands on his palms.

"If you go to a doctor, you should be able to start something..." Kurama said, before leveling Sabian with a hide stare, "Before the hands start to eat you."

The room was silent, and then Yusuke laughed morbidly at the thought, "Dude, that is so fucked."

"Am I gonna catch it?" Kuwabara asked, still keeping away from the demon he had been engaged in battle with, "It licked me."

"No Kuwabara, it's not contagious like that," Kurama answered sincerely.

"Yeah, it was trying to eat you," Hiei supplied grinning.

Kuwabara glared at Hiei but muttered, "Well that's fine."

"Licking is out, but chomping a finger off is okay?" Hiei asked, looking at Kuwabara with annoyed exasperation.

"YOU DIDN'T FEEL HOW GROSS THIS TONGUE FELT MAN!" Kuwabara shouted in his defense.

Yusuke elbowed Momo in the arm, "Think your buddy tried getting his dick sucked with one of those?"

Momo laughed, eyes wide with delight, "Fuck! Those things could be kind of... handy!"

Yusuke pointed at Momo, and cackled, the pig monster laughing right along with him.

"Excuse me, but can we get back to fighting?" Sabian asked glaring around the room. "The sooner you pests are out of our hair, the sooner I can go to a doc-"

Kuwabara leaped into the air and kicked Sabian in the temple, the six-armed demon falling over unconscious.

"Cheap," Hiei snorted.

"Look I wasn't punching him again!" Kuwabara muttered, "And I don't want to cut him up either... it feels rude. I think he should go get medical treatment."

Yusuke looked over at Momo.

The two stared at each other for a moment and then Momo gasped, "Oh no... the aftershock of one of your punches... has me, discombobulated. I can't fight!"

And then Momo slowly lowered himself to the ground, laying face down.

"Dude! Weak!" Knuck, struggling against his vines shouted, "They took out Sabian! And the little one killed Ho-tesk!"

"Ho-tesk was a dick," Momo shouted, slightly muffled from being face down, "And they left Sabian alive. And I suddenly don't feel like taking over the world anymore. I mean if our boss ain't gonna give us sick leave, who says he'd be a good ruler of the whole world, eh?"

Yusuke pat Momo on the back of his head, "That'll do pig!'

Momo snorted, it sounding somewhat like a grunt of a pig, and a laugh.

Team Urameshi, left their mostly alive opponents behind, Kuwabara still shaking his hands out with a bit of distaste. When he joined Yusuke he muttered, "I need to give my hands an STD test or something, that tongue was so gross!"

Yusuke cackled all the way up to the latest evildoer bent on destroying the world.