#oh damn you really went there!!
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so we all saw @dr2-hell's updated bunnymaeda design right. because i sure as hell did
#martzipan#nagito komaeda#GRRGRGRGRRGHHH I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS DESIGNNNNN . I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHH#wanted to do some pose practice. so i went to my beloved pinterest board#and . considering i have been thinking nonstop abt bunnymaeda today. he seemed to be the best subject#this outfit is GORGEOUS and beautifully designed to like every last detail. i am truly insane about it#that said. oh my GOD it takes so long to draw.... all those damn BELTS#worth it though it's so so so fucking pretty. i want those boots and gloves i am Jealous#still not over the zipper. guys the zipper goes. it goes ALL the way to the tail. do you know what that Means#it means something i can let you infer. it also means that i can both draw bulge and evoke pussy imagery <3#<- most vulgar tag i have put on an art post in a while. mutuals you didn't read that one#really sad i couldn't include his little clover earring bc i think it's so cute#unfortunately i draw the maeda with little hair tufts at his ears#anyways i love this design so much. i am going to. Eat Him <3
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jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesnât want to do anything coach might disagree withâŠâŠ.
#âcoach trusts meâŠâ like what if i cried#man i wish they made more of a thing of jay being TEAM CAPTAIN#<- iâve made a post before abt how easily he gives it up & jay not liking positions of power etc etc#but i do think he treats the role like it could be taken away at any moment#coach TRUSTS him. holy shit coach trusts him#the first positive adult figure in his life trusts him to take care of the team#train them and critique them and lead them to victory#and coach probably wouldnât have cared abt lonnie being on the team#but jay is sooooo hesitant to ask#coming from the âif you want it take it and if you canât take it break itâ guy#like this is the one thing he doesnât want to risk breakingâŠâŠ.#and then obviously he gives it up!!!!!#he gives up the thing coach TRUSTED HIM WITH bc it was the only way to let lonnie on the team#& mr âmy only dislike is women being unhappyâ was like I CANNOT REST UNTIL LONNIE IS ON THE TEAM#itâs suchhhhh a sweet gesture not only from a hashtag feminism standpoint#but also character wise for jay#like this precious thing that coach has trusted him with but didnât really want that much anywayâŠ..#itâs going to mean more to lonnie if she had it. even though it means everything to jay#oh it makes me crazy#damn my mum was right. i think too deeply about things#im like i analyse things a normal amount and then iâm writing essays about 1 line from descendants 2#I AM UNWELL#anyway. jesus christ#descendants#jay son of jafar#EDIT iâm not finished actually#do you think jay fears the repercussions? what would happen if he went against coachâs word?#bc sure. he knows coach is nice. he knows auradon isnât like the isle#but. âyou donât want to be at my house at dinner timeââŠâŠ.#he is still scared of his dad. you know. he can never get the lamp he can never do anything right
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']
#Serving Jesus realness#star trek screenshots#Janeway#iconic that all the aliens are like 'damn....that's crazy....anyway-' about Janeway HEHEHE they're like snickering behind their hands#I would be too honestly if some outsider tried to speedrun my ancient spiritual rituals#Love the vibe of 'this could all be hazing' they're putting out. Also I keep seeing the face paint on the guide woman as like a mic#honestly this woman's fucking hilarious HEHEHE#Janeway: I'm dying. / Alien Guide: We all die someday :) <- lady who just told her to stick in her hand in a poison jar#AHAHAHA THEY REALLY DID HAZE HER...I love these guys they're so nahnahnahbooboo-core#also the refrain 'Everything you went through was meaningless' ..... thinking BIG thoughts about post-voyager voy crew back on earth#I really do earnestly love the gleeful contempt vibe...it just seems so right. In a funny way but also in a way that's deeply true#the feeling of trying to find answers while you universe laughs and says there are none - it's meaningless - but you're welcome to go ahead#and try. If you find God you have the feeling it would just stare at you blankly. Then laugh.#Chakotay: Captain I've been so worried about you! Have you found a solution? / Janeway: Absolutely. I'm going to walk into the death shrine#Chakotay: (internally hysterical) Oh of COURSE!!!! no of COURSE she's going to walk into the DEATH SHRINE!!!!#great imagery in this one <3 folks who love religious imagery (me) will get a kick outta this one <3#anyway I love when star trek does hopeful eps like this...makes me tear up like. Yeah there could be a scientific explanation but that#doesn't make it MORE true or MORE real than the religious one - it's just as valid to believe in the spirits#Also those three old creeps were lovely <3 scared me and I like that! existential dread!
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can't believe I ended up under a roof for both of my shows đ„Č rip eras tour fireworks I'm sure you were very pretty but I will never know
#i knew our liverpool ones were in a roofed part of the stadium but they were our nosebleed 'we have some budget left' ones#but for wembley i was expecting the true lower bowl experience and we got stuck under another damn roof đ„Č#the actual view of the stage was decent enough and we were looking more straight on at it compared to just looking down#but the roof really ruins the vibe you kind of feel like you're watching through a window#and the HEAT there was just so little airflow#i couldn't believe when we went down the steps to leave how the moment you were out from the roof the whole atmosphere changed#suddenly you were fully immersed in the stadium and under the sky and there was a cool breeze đ„Čđ„Č oh well#i know i was lucky to get tickets at all!! just a shame when these were 2x the price of any other tickets I've ever bought#on the plus side being back row meant no one screaming in your ear behind you lol#talking#taylor swift
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iâm home !!
procedure went real well, everything was really smooth and almost as soon as they said, âyou can count backwards if you want,â i donât think i even said ten before i was suddenly in recovery and sipping some ginger ale.
honestly the worst part was the iv because they had to do it on the side of my wrist because apparently my veins are crooked ?? i just hate ivs anyway so thatâs no surprise but other than that no complaints.
everyone was real nice and made sure i was well taken care of (my nurse even had me pee one more time before so she wouldnât have to do a catheter which with my historyâŠ..thank you)
but yeah, iâll have a follow up in about a month just to make sure everythingâs good and the iud is doing its thing !!
i do have some cramping and bleeding but thatâs normal, although a little funny because i literally just stopped my period yesterday butâŠoh well !! hopefully in a few months i wonât have hardly any so this we can handle and i hace some medicine (and my ~medicine) thatâll help so iâm all set.
mom had to go run some errands so my little recovery buddy is keeping me company. also, a moment of recognition for my new favorite shirt (thank you as always, Boss Dog Art; iâve already got my eye on another one that says, âi think therefore i am against transphobia around the worldâ or something like that and itâs got a cool skeleton on it; this is my third shirt from them and theyâre really comfy and good quality so not sponsored but check them out, they seem cool):
#Itâs been a rough week leading up to this iâm not gonna lie#one of my neighbors was shooting on Sunday when i was in the pool#which iâm used to at this point#but for some reason i got triggered into a panic attack#and could not catch my breath#could not calm down for several minutes just scream crying#had to dunk my head underwater a few times and splash myself in the face#eventually i just buried my face in my towel and screamed cried until i physically had to stop#because i thought i was about to have a heart attack#so that wasnât so chill#spent the rest of the day shaking#guess you just never know when itâs gonna hit!!#another plane has hit the ptsd towers#sorry#not for nothing though but the shooting stopped so thereâs that#they probably thought someone had a fuckinâ ari aster movie turned up over here#nope just a mentally unstable bitch doing her best which clearly isnât great but what can ya do!!#it was kinda funny though because iâve been hesitant to go back out there since#but finally yesterday i had even worked longer the day before so i could really enjoy it#it had been sunny all day#no signs of rain#iâm ready to get some exercise in because i knew it might be a while#before i can again so i was really looking forward to a nice 30 minute run#damned if it didnât start raining as soon as i got out there#and that was fine#i still ran a little got my water weights in#but the kicker was i looked at the weather on my phone and it looked like it was going to keep raining#so i said okay let me just go take a shower and settle in for the night#it didnât rain and the sun came back out so oh well!#but point isâŠtoday went well and iâm doing okay and things could always be worse so no worries <3
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ok well we know that jesus can emit pure light as he did when he was in his tomb + i assume the light is holiness or joy or purity (considering his spirit was in heaven but his body had died in sin) (considering his body was holy but his spirit was drowning in unquenchable fire).. thinking about the version of jesus i made up in my head who's way cooler and more transgender and i think he would emit sparks and a glowing electric light if you fucked him and i think it would inspire an unfathomably intense lust
#text#this is NOT me taking a stance on whether jesus went to heaven or hell when he died#i didnt know there was discourse about this til i googled to double check i thought it was a given that he went to hell ??#i was CERTAIN it was hell because what else would the damn point of the crucifixion be#gotquestions dot org is trying to say Ofc he didnt go to hell hes too special and ur just reading the verse wrong#which like. ok but THE POINT OF HIS DEATH WAS TO WASH EVERYONES SIN AWAY AND PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE#WHICH IS *DEATH* WHICH LEADS TO *GOING TO HELL* IF YOU'RE NOT SAVED. WHICH HE WASNT! BECAUSE *HE WAS THE SACRIFICE*#THATS THE WHOLE POINT!!! HE WAS DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE. HE WENT TO HELL. HE CAME BACK.#um. i rescind my previous statement about not taking a stance i think i have actually#But if u have like solid proof that isnt 1 peter 3:18-20 pls lmk i havent read the bible in years#OH YEAH DISCLAIMER: i am not xtian . just insane . i was raised as one so i know a lot of lore#but i have memory problems so i forgot a lot of lore#yay!#nsft#SORRY i have like brain problems that lead to me saying these things#likethere is genuinely something reallywrong with me i think But that's not really important read my funny posts boy#would you suck jesus's strap. it is glowing with holy light btw#sorry again#I would.#sorr y a third time#tboy jesus tag
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#chattin#nothing bad or spicy i just feel like peep peeping rn#đąđ!#but there is talk of panic attacks and Bad Stims up ahead (not related to me dw) ->#i was thinking of autistic peppino bc i am planning out the vigilante comic in my head#and like the quick premise is that vigilante comes into the pizzeria and shoots a blank into the ceiling to get everyone to shut up#and quiet down so he can go ask for (demand really) to see peppino bc this fuckerhas a bounty FOR A REASON and hes here to find out why#bc u know; cowboy yeehaw shenanigans#only its like 5am and no one is there jdkdndjdndk he just saw the lights one and went BANGBANG#anyway peppino is in the back cowering bc someone came into his fucking shop and started shooting UNPROMPTED#and hes so fucking scared and unwilling to move and when he sees someone actually come through the back door he starts having a legitimate-#-panic attack and he starts doing the stimmy hands thing over his ducked head#and vigilante is like whoa whoa WHOA WHOA HOL UP WHATS HAPPENIN#like i dont think peppino has âhappy stimsâ he has âextremely self soothingâ stims#that include flapping but only if hes so unbelievably stressed that he cant think#or he has more violent ones like pulling at his hair and biting his hands#that on top of like a genuine panic attack where he cant breathe and he thinks his heart is stopping is đ”âđ«#vigilante is like christ almighty what the fucks got you so damned spooked?? like he doesnt even think of the blank he shot#he assumed someone came in before him or something#and hes like oh shit wait thats mE I DID THAT I SCARED HIM#i am still planning it out but yes. autistic peppino is on my mind đ#in a more positive light hes very earnest; and good at his job bc cooking in an interest of his#and his responses in social situations are bizarre enough sometimes to wrap back around to endearing#also its an excuse to draw peppino looking very confused but happy and gustavo somewhere in the shot going-#âthe bad bitch i pulled in by being autisticâ#swag#ALSO THE TAG IS BACK so i guess i can doodle again heehee
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This is what i mean by Killua and Gon's stubbornness being the same level of willpower, stemming from different desires-- Gon is scarily goal-oriented. He doesn't care what happens to him, so long as he comes out of it the victor in his own head.
The cost doesn't matter, so long as it doesn't conflict with/cancel out his result.
That's terrifying.
#he's so fucking scary jskdahbjvdbska#gon is the sweetest ever and hes a genuienly good kid. gons not a damn monster#but hes scary as hell. hes alien in the way he processes and acts upon desire#there is such a sheer and utter disregard for himself. inturn this becomes disregard upon others#and i all stems from the subtle self hatred of abandonment HAHAHHA#this kids been suicidal his entire fucking life and no one helped him until it was too late#every adult looked at him and went oh thats a ticking time bomb in the shape of a child. anyway--#after CAA i really appreciate every bit of gon foreshadowing i get. his character is fascinating#depths' watches#hxh#hxh 1999#ajskdhbbdsa heavens arena arc is a bunch of fun fights and endorphins#to distract you from: killua is a child abuse victim and gon is passively suicidal
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mum wasn't much into DS9, she didnt like it when it was airing, and only really started to get into it in the later years of her life. she loved quark. but still, i'm glad she got to see "dr. bashir i presume?" before she died
and she loved it
#mum's also autistic by the way#so yeah hit us both#and me finally getting around to watching it after 2 years of putting it off#well i watched it with mum. i remember that day clearly it a couple years ago i think. we had cucumbers and chips#we were watching trek on netflix back when we had that#and i remember being all chirpy like ''oh today i feel like watching DS9 theres an ep i wanna check out''#i said it all casual as if it isnt fucking heartbreaking#so that got mum curious. at first she was like oh an episode about that guy you like. of course#so she figured That was the reason. well it helps#and yeah. as the ep went on... it did its thing. and of course she got it. we're both autistic AND autism activists#she knew damn well about the concepts touched upon#i remember feeling her get more engaged with the story and being like ''whoa this is REALLY good''#also yeah she picked up on the fact that i knew ahead of time what its about#also also she appreciated robert picardo being there. being also a huge fan of voyager#legit the only snag during the ep was during the montage of everybody being asked stuff about julian#she was like ''wait whos julian??'' and i had to remind her and then after that she was fine jfdskjhfds
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VUXisms (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Or if you prefer my very Normal Collection of ZEX stimming lol#I'm not choosing to read alien behaviours through a neurodivergent lense you can't prove anything#Okay you got me yes I am lol - in conjunction with my ADHD Max HC (which I am only more convinced of lol) I went into this with#Really any kind of self-soothing behaviour fascinates me :D And ZEX definitely needs the soothing ;;#But it's not just the stimming! Though I did keep pretty diligent notes about that lol he's deeply interesting to me!#He's a texture person! Part of that is due to being VUX and having very processed food but if it fits it fits!#I'm also a texture person - again I have too many notes relating to ZEX lol#I also find it charming (or sad - whichever is applicable at the time!) when ZEX eats in ''odd'' ways haha âȘ#Eating without utensils - you can always just wash your hands you do you <3#The weighted blanket lol so - I had a very normal and measured reaction to ZEX enjoying full-body pressure lol#Solely and purely intellectual! Of course! VUX enjoy swimming! Full-body pressure makes complete sense!#And he's a tactile person on top of that - pressure good for multiple reasons! I really do think he'd sleep better with a weighted blanket âȘ#Back to stimming! I really loved the scene of him opening the water bottle and his therapist being So Impatient with him about it lol#Let him figure it out! He's very intelligent! Very skilled at finding weak points and exploiting them hehe <3#But then he runs his finger on the lip of the bottle! Wine-glassing it while he talks hehe <3 I love him#Humming!! Another stim I relate to! Not so much now since it was ''encouraged'' out of me so I may be doubly biased towards him using it hee#Too delighted to focus on utensil lessons and yet he's still clever enough to pay attention to multiple things at once hehehe â«#And then aside from his actual biggest stim he plays with his hair quite a lot - in various ways and to different ends :D#Running his hands through it to self-soothe or tugging on it to express - I kinda read it as him trying to move his head feelers around haha#Not quite the same but something!#Oh and then his biggest stim - just looking at humans lol it is very dopamine-delivering <3 And he has dopamine now! Very powerful :3c#Hhhhh human chemistry for VUX behaviours <3 It's so interesting to me hehe âȘ
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being not depressed is kind of what i was scared it would be. im so fucking angry. cause i have the energy to *BE* angry now. and to be told i should just "let it go, ruminating won't help" by someone who's spent my ENTIRE LIFE being angry, just in general, meaning i have to tiptoe around without that person EVER realizing i do that, is incredibly frustrating.
#realizing all the shit you grew up with was very messed up and then have NO ONE get it like truly âoh yeah ive messed up raising you i knowâ#and then never really changing. or rectifying anything. just lip service.#i need. a therapist. and a way out of this house. cant do that tho#like. i feel bad. cause its not horrible here. but its deeply frustrating. and i need space that i am truly unable to get#cant move out. i cant afford it. and they cant afford for me to leave. i got obligations here.#txt#vent#im so serious i havent had emotional clarity like this since i was 12. every version of me ppl knew was me deeply depressed#and i dont think they're going to like non-depressed me. cause i was bullheaded then and im bullheaded now.#for so long i felt that my depression/anxiety were keeping me safe. that they made me safe to *others*#and that if they went away id end up being a bad person. thatd id be mean and uncaring. but i still care#very much. but damn theres a lot of shit i put up with that i didnt deserve
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maybe i am gods favourite little bitch after all..
#work went well despite the craziness#saw upstairs neighbours fr a second and got wished happy holidays#another gooooood date w the guy. he seems to be wooing me fr im like âșïžđ#an hr and a half of sleep and i am Wakened by upstairs neighbour who is locked out of his place tryna get back in#i manage to help him out w the tools i got plus hear hes moving in february. dunno if mb theyre all going or??#rip i know theyre good people but id love to get some sleep#oh and also once he got the door open i got to pet their doggy. yayyy#hes still cleaning up up there so phone time fr me rn but after imma sleep again. yey#ALSO at the date i dropped my phone at the entrance of the place and it DIDNT get stolen once i realised i lost it it was still right THERE#also tmi i started my period halfway thru the day rip but didnt bleed thru my beautiful work clothes and was fine on the date so. yayy!#let me choose to think i had a Good Day bc i asked yall to pray fr me in the morning like damn......they REALLY did pull through..#ALSO how could i forget. solidarity in the womens bathroom when the lock was fucked but a stranger offered to Stand Guard fr me. yeah#anyway might make new year plans w the guy if he'd like to idk. heeheeheeeee#edit half an hour after posting this btw he is still rummaging away up there!! my god!! at least i dont have work later today mye godde..#just hanging wmy dad and his wife in the afternoon we were gonna do a christmas market but changed plans to board games and a movie#which considering 1. the period situation and 2. this being my one day off before having to do retail again on mon/tue. thank god! thank YOU
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went to the bar for a wee drink and the guy next to me told me to pop into an art gallery a few doors down where a band was playing
it was such a cool, eclectic art studio and the band was playing on the second floor and it was quite fun and artsy and the âšvibesâš were popping
#hahaha vacation bri is such a madman#i order a beer; take two sips; and suddenly iâm running up the street to an art gallery to catch the end of a bandâs set#all on a random strangerâs suggestion đ#i came back and was like âoh yeah you right that was coolâ#and he was laughing like âdamn you really just accepted my mission and went for it huh?â#and i was like âwell duh đ it sounded funâ#vacation bri knows no bounds#vacation bri lives life to the fullest
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AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH WE GOT ARCANEEEEEEEEEE
#MY GOOOOOD JAYCE MAKING VIKTOR?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?! AND OG COURSE CAITS MOM OOOOOF#cant believe were getting angsty caitvi breakup music video second thing in the show aldjaksk they got PRIORITIES#CAIT AND MEL WHEN TWO QUEENS JOIN THEIR POWER TO MAXIMIZE THEIR JOINT SLAY#vi just at caits house all this time.... like probably a week at most but akdhsksnsl#cait hasnt shed a single tear its going down down#oh wow......... yes she didnt think but whats worse is that vi will end up accepting WHYYY#vi will change the enforcers from the inside.....no fucking way qkdhaksjska#YEEEEEEEEESSSS CAITLYYYYYYNNNNNNN#VIIIIIIIIIIIIII#did ambessa really orchestrate the attack with the underground??? no fucking way but that would make so much sense#damn what did caitlyn see in that computer bc she switched up quick!!! and vi too!!! she went from call off the attack to ill join them#well of course the attack changed theit minds but vi still said to call off the ttack after that....#ALSO vi wiping off caits tears.... caitlyn just crying on her chest like throwing herself on her.... no kiss even yet.... but i like this#i love the tension..... the courting you would call it#what will viktor think when he comes back wrong (FOR SURE) because of jayce when he was soooo accepting of his death... kind of#like he knew he was gonna die and he did what he could with the hextech but i think it was not out of desperation#it was just ambition bc thats what he can do... jayce became councilor bc of ambition and viktor kinda saved his own life#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#everybody going thru it in the intro credits and ekko just doing flips akdhaksnsla#jayce hiding from the spotlight.... NOW??? Also viktor is givning diavolo vibes in the jojo 5 intro too aldjaksjksnsl slay#sevika defending jinx.... never thought i would see the day#they did NOT orchestrate the attack look at this mess#OF COURSE SKY IS IN THE HEXTECH!!!! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH THE VOICES VIKTOR!!! LISTEN TO THEM!!!#jayce promised to destroy it omggg of course....... the confession......#it was affection that held us together..... what are we..... christ why is he so serene and logical.... the hexcore yeah#viktor will bring a class war the likes weve never seen#jinx has claggors googles.... which vi has after the timeskip.....#they are here..... and that arm is gonna cost sevika dlahdksns viktor savior of the underground... i used to pray for times like these....
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I just need you to know I was reading your tags on the Sillinger/Fantilli Deadpool/Wolverine gifset going "YES THE EYE CONTACT! AND COLE'S WHOLE FACE JOURNEY! AND *OH MY GOD* ADAM'S HAND ALMOST BUT NOT GRIPPING AT COLE'S BICEP" like that near grip Adam took had me fainting like a fucking Victorian era man who saw a woman's bare ankles like W.H.A.T.
I neeeeed to write them omg.
ANON. ANON!!!! please. write them!!!!! and send me a link if/when you do đ iâll prepare my fainting couch (the floor)
#shout out to the columbus blues org for last year deciding they were going to pair up adam and cole for all their nhl (???) playoff media#we really. i still have the worldâs worst powerpoint presented by adam and cole in my drafts somewhere and i canât post it#bc i wanted to make a fake PowerPoint to put on the screen as a joke & it was funny but i didnât write it down before I went to bed so :/#liv in the replies#also like. what was up w/that nhl?? why them đ not complaining just so confused. adam hype wasnât at its peak NOR was tate mcrae revenge#so they really were like. Hmmm. I like these two little freaks. this one is well-trained. letâs use him#like do you ever think about the blessing that the UMich social girlies bestow on nhl media teams by training all of these men so well.#they do not skip a SINGLE question they will be bullied into it they will give you an answer even if itâs stupid god bless.#adam fantilli#cole sillinger#columbus blue jackets#i REFUSE to admit defeat at the hands of the umich boys#worm. worm. WORM!!!#as we all know i donât have the slightest idea who cole sillinger is irl but i DO want him to be involved with his teammates.#love thy goalie love thy stunning star prospect⊠OHHHHH NARRATIVE UNLOCKED OH NOOOOO COLE KNOWS HEâS NOT THAT GOOD SO HE TAKES CARE OF#EVERYONE ELSEEEEEE OH NOOOOOO this message brought to you a) by my elvis merzlikins agenda at all time so that whole sentence but b) by me#mid-realization trying to be like Coleâs not like. bad right you canât say this but then remembering everyone pulling out his stats to do#him dirty while the whole tate mcrae breakup/release of details was going down and i was like oh actually. like he could be. ALSO on that#note which was so messy i do have to say that news was a shock bc i knew cole sillinger from years prior when everyone held him up like a#bug they pulled from under a rock like who is THIS after he sat front row at fashion week to support his gf so. the threads of this ALSO#come from the initial vision of âdamn isnât this a nice one?? a nice hockey??? like lmfaoooo you guys heâs the wag and loves itâ) but. this#is also my failing as a storyteller that I love this and will put it in everything but. service kink accommodating for others to give what#he thinks he canât to allow them to be better. also just. i watched him clean adam fantilliâs floors you canât go up from that. ANYWAY
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