#oh btw since the post i made about it is one million years old: kids are named by their mothers at first and then choose their

[grirnoires]

when they were kids in school, rajo and otresa helped each other cheat at lessons, as their skillsets are conveniently well paired. this of course defeated the purpose of the lessons, but they were more concerned with seeming to keep up with the other kids than learning at their own pace.

(fun fact: otresa's childhood name literally means "live!". she was a sickly baby and her mothers were very worried about her)

[rom-e-o]

NSFW for crude, demeaning language and mentions of grape

Abigail definitely keeps blackmail backed up somewhere, for Bess in particular. So, when something is going right in Bess' life and Abigail finds out, or if she's just having a bad day, she picks out some dirty laundry and airs it.

So imagine Connie coming home to a completely catatonic Bess just staring unseeing at her phone with a video of Oliver, Abigail, and some of their gross friends laughing about his and Bess' first time playing over and over. Yes, Abigail kept this vile footage on her phone for years just waiting for whatever whim to flit by and strike her into sharing it, and when she does, she doesn't just send it to Bess like she usually does, she posts it everywhere. All of her social media. And there's no question about who or what they're talking about, because they are explicit with names and acts. Bess only finds out because Debbie, who makes it her business to keep an eye on Abigail's shenanigans because she does not trust that bitch but also loves to dive her hands elbow deep into drama and serve justice, gives her a heads up.

As if the one time Bess slept with Oliver wasn't already bad enough, now she knows Oliver talked about it with other people and they all turned it into a joke. They turned her into a joke. And now the entire internet knows. Btw, her socials are also mentioned in the descriptions of all the posts--so there's no way it won't be tied back to her. And we're not even going to mention the comments left on each post, though suffice it to say they're varied and colorful.

And if you're wondering, yes, in the video there are derogatory comments made about Bess' previous assault and the fact she had a baby. ("Well, you know why it took you so long to blow your load? Slut's gotta be all ripped and stretched out after gettin' stuffed with fat old man dick for a year then shittin' out his fatass kid. She ain't tight anymore--that pussy's been run through more times than a traffic tunnel.")

I hate Abigail almost as much as Oliver, and this just ADDS TO IT. They are so, so irredeemably evil for doing shit like that. AND BOLD, not to mention. The harassment charges would be in the millions, ESPECIALLY considering Bess’ connections.

If Connie comes home and finds her like that, on the outside, she’s tender and caring for Bess. On the inside, RAGE LIKE A DEMON SCORNED.

“Bess! What’s wrong? What are you looking….” (Hears the video, AND THE COMMENTS) “…okay. Come here.”

She’d gently take the phone and take her somewhere comfy to sit. No electronics around her. Just their comfy living room, or Bess’ room, or somewhere safe. “Let’s get some food, and some wine.”

If she wants to scream or cry, or just get drunk, she can do whatever she wants. She is more than entitled to that.

Once Bess has company (Debbie, Addie or Gal, likely), Connie would give her very expensive and very talented lawyer (who helped finalize Orin’s divorce) a little phone call.

“Hey, do you do libel and slander cases? …you do? Excellent! I need you to ruin two lives for me. If I send you some basic information, can you send a ‘cease and desist’? … Oh, you are an angel! Thank you.”

Add Wolf hearing about this, and it would be the first time since his redemption that he BURIED PEOPLE IN DEBT.

God, how desperate do Oliver and Abigail have to be to try to ruin Bess’ life at every turn?

[drysdalehansenswhore]

Oh gosh, never in my life I thought i'd do something like that but unfortunately we're surrounded by immature and ignorant people in this world and some of them better seek therapy.

*big sigh* let's begin!

You Captdelusional and your minions are so damn ridiculous words can't even explain. The way I'm feeling second hand embarrassement. Can't believe you made a whole post "are you still a CE fan" and captioned it "that's what you got when you do PR instead of acting classes" that's so sad because you're a grown woman and act like a 10 years old and I'm being generous here.

Not to mention how you and your minions think tumblr is the only platform ever where he has fans 🤣🤣🤣 and the way you're so proud of yourself for obtaining only 220 replies as if it makes a whole fandom when it's not even half of it, but guess math is not your thing either. Careful, ignorance is showing 👀 and btw, somone who gets called "best part of the movie" by the gp and got preached by one of the best directors in the industry for his performances and people literally regret his departure from a franchise does not need "acting classes" (unless you're referring to someone else I won't name) I get that you're hurt but at least avoid saying bs for your sake. But since you act like a kid and put your fave on a pedestal , I'll do the same and reveal you that me and a good chunk of people prefer his acting over your fave which is always the same thing, kinda annoying yk? To get hooked on a character, we need truthfulness, spontaneity. Not repeating the script as it is. It just shows to me that "fans" like you can't recognize talent and it makes me laugh that you even dare to judge. Poor clown.

To each their own, ig? Anyway, sorry to break it to you and your other delusional minions but that A lister and I repeat A lister as you probably think actors come down of their position when they do sth that you don't like 😭 still has million of fans all over the platforms: X, tiktok, ig, reddit, tumblr, you name it but of course for y'all with a very low IQ only tumblr and IG exist. How ironic.

You know what else is so funny and ridiculous at the same time? before he ended up in this "pr" as you call it (which we don't know the reason and you act all almighty bec you think you have contacts in the industry but you don't even know that Hollywood force celebs to do worse things than PRs like parties with p*dophiles where your fave willing or unwilling participate in. or you think he's a saint 😇 lmao) you were all drooling over him like sl*ts. Immaturity showing big time. Clowns.

And btw, funny how you muted replies and reblogs so that no one could call you out, too bad I found a way... Finally, y'all need to stop infantalize grown up woman who can pay bills and make decisions for herselves like to have a family with grown up men who don't even care about your opinions. Wake up kids, it's 2024 and you still can't distinguish an adult woman from a kid. What now, looks? now bec someone is blessed with youthful looks can't get married bec she will always look like a "kid"? oh please, y'all need therapy and you need it asap! "child bride" you know there actual child brides (unfortunately) or your very low IQ can't get you think about it ? 🤔 stop calling "child brides" literally adults, that's disgusting and makes you a low person and a disgusting cr*ep.

GROW TF UP! At your age you should focus on work, family and your partner, if you even have one but I doubt it because with people like you no one would ever want to spend a dime on. Let alone be with you. And before you wonder, I'm no team this nor team that, I'm just patiently waiting for it to end but immature and delusional people like you showing up on my dashboard makes it all difficult.

[minipisi-is-dumb]

alright so. tails and eggman are the only two characters that are canonically gifted/ND in the sonic universe but they're Really interesting ways to see how others perception of gifted people is like and how it impacts the silly furry story i am the normalest about it btw not like you care

so i just have other observations abt it because it's funny mainly eggman rn ive been thinking abt him a lot

this is also a long post and im not even a fraction done ok ive issues

(also abt this im talking about canon not coding and Oh Boy do i have words for sonic and shadow as gifted-coded and how much the narrative of just being born "gifted" compared to others or the entire Literally being made For This is used in fiction but im not. gonna talk about it. not today. soon.)

look i like to compare eggman and tails a lot bc they're fundamentally parallel between each other and their relationship w sonic n all that jazz that we know but LISTEN!!!

eggman has been diagnosed very obviously for plenty of years already and since it's very usual for people to be prejudiced against it i actually find interesting that he is so so self absorbed into his genius persona and being more invested into keeping that idea on others mind.

so okay listen words are funny. giftedness is a way of asynchronous development in the brain where some parts develop "quicker" than others (compared to most brains) and is not exactly fun all the time

a good analogy i like is about "mental age" (which was acc a predecessor of the idea of IQ!) where you have people who are chronologically, say, 12 years old, but their emotional regulation is alike to an 8 year old but ALSO their intellectual needs are the ones of a 19 year old. yeah. it gets like that.

so a lot of time in children it's the classic (super harmful) "hypermature" mentality that sees them and keeps them in that pedestal (yes this has to do w sonic still) and adults are usually seen as less mature than their peers, more child-like and less apt to be actually functional people in everyday live n that causes issues because part of the giftedness of it all is that the creativity and child-like wonder is a fundamental part of how our brain is wired wether we like it or not. so that "childish" part is always seens as less from the outside and DUDE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I ADORE EGGMAN

LISTEN TO ME eggman is textbook evil villain for kids entertainment franchise and also good foil for sonic and tails mainly Oh no we're not just talking abt that we're talking about symptoms here and i LOVE how some of them is clear he learned to accept and live with and others not

actually Eggman's got to be one of the coolest depictions of an evil gifted man istg. the man might be an evil mastermind n probably has killed so much people that lily orchid would cry in her sleep abt it and he's also hyperfixated on killing a funny blue furry but look he knows what he is and he OWNS it

Oh, the prejudice is that gifted adults are too childish? Too creative for their own good? Too self centered? Jokes on THEM Eggman just created 5 new badnik models based on the same worm and they all look sick also did you see Eggman's logo plastered everywhere like a kid putting stickers in every place they can???? YEAH

Oh the prejudice says that gifted adults need to be overachievers and have a million accomplishments to be validated? suck to be you because sure eggman has his doctorates hanging around but he really just has an elevated ego. he would call himself genius for making a coffee at the temperature he likes, he would call himself genius because of internalized shit but also he would just. let himself be. if anything he's not thinking about being or not a genius for himself, he's more focused on maintaining that mythos for his enemies so that he feels some sort of power (ah yes chronic need of control my beloved)

listen the ways funny brains ar wired make it so that there's an illusion of omnipotence through the sheer power of will. that "childish" part is so so fundamental because it comes back up even if repressed every time there's threat. every time a basis on any self perception is perceived, a "child-like" attitude is taken and everything is blamed on someone else or is reflected in a need of over protection, control and blaming others for any situation. you guys can see how this relates to Eggman or have i finally lost it

also that one cool af detail where he blames his frustration everything back to an outsider force uh listen im joking here but im very much sure that Eggman's gotta be one of the funniest depictions of a gifted adult that feels so. Yeah i can see where he's coming that's kinda what i mean.

uhhhh i have so many more thoughts but it's too long and also words are hilarious and also shut UP i just like Eggman as the funniest gifted man ever bc he just shows so many symptoms and plausible ways his ND affects his life. it's clear that they just wanted to parody the idea of an evil mastermind being annoyed by children when the games started and therefore gave him both the 300 is thing and the immature behavior to like mock him n such. but literally shut up i can do whatever i want i can take characters however i want and he is canonically ND so ill hold him to that standard anyways

[phoenixyfriend]

When Obi-Wan gets to AotC, there's also about two dozen Anakin clones on-site. They're all girls because... IDK Anakin is trans. They have a hive mind and are developmentally a few years younger than Anakin himself.

It's incredibly unsettling to Obi-Wan.

It's almost definitely a "fuck with Anakin's already fragile mental health" ploy by Palpatine, along with a "what if Jedi Black Widows, for me, a Sith Lord. Wouldn't that be neat? That would be neat."

Anakin is torn between "this freaks me out" and "GANG OF BABY SISTERS LET'S GOOOOOOO."

(I just finished reading Like Real People Do by glimmerglanger, so this is definitely inspired by that and the obligatory 'lay back in bed and daydream variations on plot points of that fic you just really enjoyed,' and also a little by Same Heart, Same Blood by loosingletters.)

They're physically like 14-16 on average, and Anakin's vibrating out of his skin with a million conflicting emotions, but when he tells Padme she's just like "oh, you have a handmaiden gang!"

I told this to @willowcrowned and she suggested:

Once Anakin decides to repress the part of him that’s weirded out and just regard them as baby sisters he gets. A little strange about it The first time one of them dies he may or may not slaughter every person he can [in response to Padme's comment] Anakin starts worrying that he needs to get them cool matching outfits

I also chatted about it with @firebirdeternal and they said:

Gang of Unsettling Smol Siblings is exactly the Karma that Anakin deserves

Do you think the Clones have a kind of Collective Name that they use at first that eventually just kind of morphs into a new last name? Skysisters or something? Like Palpatine was trying to be clever and name them like the Nightsisters.

I initially went with "functionally one person" hive-mind but I'm torn.

I think maybe they're BASICALLY one person on Kamino but drift into Separate Consciousness once they're far enough apart physically that their minds don't blend from proximity anymore.

Then they start Dating (like half of them are dating Fett clones because they grew up with these dudes, it's like childhood friends romance), and Anakin loses his mind about Protecting Them and They're Too Young.

Padme: You're nineteen and we just got married, they can date. Anakin: THEY'RE EIGHT. Padme: And the Fett clones are ten and dying for us in the field. Get them rights before you panic about their love lives.

Firebird:

it could be worse, one of them could imprint on Obi-Wan. "Anakin I promise I won't yell at you for the next five stupid things you do if you can figure out a way to stop this baby from having a crush on me" (I like the idea of Obi-wan bargaining not with "I won't be mad at you ever" because they Both Know That's Not True, and instead haggling with specific allowances. Like he's handing out Stupidity Coupons)

Please imagine Mace and Obi-Wan's personal responses to the idea of suddenly having to deal with not one, not two, but OVER TWENTY SKYWALKERS.

Plo is delighted to take one off their hands.

So is Yoda.

Willow:

Mace is like. okay suicide isn’t the Jedi way but on the other hand. i physically cannot deal with this Yoda: a skywalker, you say? one who is tall enough to reach the top shelf, you say? such a skywalker, bring me

Anakin would be given at least one because fuck you, suffer with us, but he's still a padawan so Ugh, fine, no.

I want to say one stays on Coruscant to hang out with the Guard, and ends up half-adopted by Padme. She keeps dressing up the Aniclone left with her in handmaiden outfits and sending selfies to Anakin.

"Hanging out with the little SiL!"

Anakin has so many issues about WHEN his genetic material was acquired.

And there's some confusion from the Fett clones about how much of a hive mind is normal for Jedi. They are confused that the answer is basically none, and "this is WHY nobody clones a Jedi"

ONE OF THEM STEALS BOBA FROM THE ARENA ON GEONOSIS.

Firebird:

"I have followed in our progenitor's footsteps and acquired a sibling." holds up a struggling Boba "He bites."

Willow:

Ooooo okay so if they have a sort of hive mind then they probably don’t have names other than their designations on Kamino right BUT When they SEPARATE The one that picks Boba up on Geonosis gets a name specifically for that. Okay what if the one Padmé picks up gets some variant on ‘pretty’ because she’s always being dressed up BELLE Maybe Yoda’s Ani has a name that means thief? Because obviously Yoda is using Anakin to steal sweets

So, to make the timeline work...

I don't think anyone would give Anakin one of his sisters until after he's knighted at least.

So obviously when they're doing initial placements none of the sisters go to him or Obi-Wan.

Once he's knighted, of course they're already all placed with someone, and Anakin instead gets Ahsoka. He loves Ahsoka. She is also a little sister. He said so.

At some point afterwards, one of the sisters is left without a place because the Master that was in charge of her died in the field battle.

That sister then gets placed with Obi-Wan, because he's already mostly-successfully raised one Skywalker, so he can do it again.

Anakin gets to hang out with her basically all the time.

Ahsoka is very very jealous of this girl stealing Anakin's attention.

Anakin is oblivious to the rivalry.

He asks Barriss to look after them while he's discussing Adult War Things with Luminara and Obi-Wan, and Barriss gets an eye into This Mess, which is quickly colored by Ahsoka growing a puppy crush on the lovely Miss Offee herself.

Firebird:

Ahsoka: Ah yes, my nemesis. Anisister: Ah yes, my new older sister whom I want to impress so bad.

"I will impress her by being Stoic and Competent" "Oh my god she must think she's so much better than me what a bitch"

Anakin is oblivious to most things to be fair Anakin: Laser focused precision fighting machine who can read the tiniest body movements and predict your moves seconds in advance, who also cannot understand even the most basic social nuance. I was originally writing this as to Dunk on Anakin but then I made myself sad, because none of those things are really his fault.

So you know that post about like, Sasuke and Brooding, specifically in the context of "Brooding" as it's used to refer to Nesting Chickens? Grouchy and protective and sitting on a tennis ball trying to hatch it because they're just. "These are my Babies." Anakin Broods. Baby sisters. Must protecc. "I'm actually fine and extremely deadly in combat." "MUST PROTECT."

Bad Guy: [catches Ahsoka in a Trap] Aniclone: Must rescue sister! Aniclone: [fights, is not winning fight, gets ouched] Ahsoka tearing her way out of Trap: I lived bitch. Also: stay the fuck away from her. [murders so hard]

Ahsoka catches the Protective Older Sib feels by the traditional method: "Hey, only I'm allowed to be mean to them."

Willow:

Oh Anakin has no clue what’s going on. He walks in on Ahsoka glaring at the Ani and is like!!! Little sisters!!! Bonding!!! When Ahsoka was about three seconds away from tossing her out of the airlock. Ahsoka mistakenly assumes that Barriss has a crush on the Ani, and gets even MORE jealous.

Obi-Wan is like oh god. I can’t take care of an Anakin going through puberty again. He’s great with periods and other stuff because he read about a billion books. He is TERRIBLE with everything else, as he was the first time.

Barriss is like???? YOU'RE BOTH CHILDREN, PLEASE CALM DOWN, I HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN DATING ANYONE, LET ALONE SOMEONE YOUR AGE.

IDK how old Obi-Wan's Aniclone is, probably physically the same age as Ahsoka?

Per @atagotiak on discord:

Also something something, similarities btw Anakin and Obi-Wan where like. "Am I a parent? That seems uncomfortable, I'm too young to be a dad to a kid this age, I mean I'm cool with being a mentor/caretaker but..."

Obi-Wan can't even sidestep parenthood this time.

"Is Anakin basically your dad?" "Uhhhhhh" [Muffled discussion] "So Obi-Wan is your dad." "Okay!" "WAIT NO I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS"

Ahsoka: She's stealing my brother, that BITCH. Obi-Wan's Aniclone: new sister new sister new sister gotta make a good impression

Firebird:

I feel like the Sister Squad would make very effective interstellar espionage agents Even like, kind of by accident. They just get encouraged to branch out in their interests and figure out what they want to do with their lives and end up all over the dang place, and since they're all pretty dang competent they tend to gravitate towards Important Positions wherever they end up. Except for one sister who just retires to raise Space Sheep.

I like that in this AU Palpatine is just like "I will create an army of Loyal Murderers who will obey my every whim and also be a big psychological lever on my Other Pet Murderer," and then they all just Baby Duckling imprint on the first Jedi to be nice to them instead and he has to just be like "Wait no not like that."

AND one of them Steals Boba

I want Obi-Wan's Aniclone to start dating Fives. All the sisters judge her for it, because he's a Goof. A very competent, ARC Trooper goof! But a goof.

Not as goofy as Anakin, though.

Firebird:

Who expects a clone of Anakin Skywalker to not make questionable lifelong romantic choices impulsively?

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

[gra-sonas]

WHAT BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE THE RENEWAL OF ROSWELL NEW MEXICO FOR SEASON 4 THAN WITH A MALEX FIC! 👏

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This is all @prouvaireafterdark​‘s fault btw. Lynne posted the screenshot of a tweet yesterday:

A few weeks ago, I tried to literally bore my 3yo to sleep by telling him everything I knew about nuclear and particle physics. It's a fair bit, it was my speciality once. Every night since then, as he's falling asleep, his little voice pipes up: "tell me about atoms daddy."

And she captioned the post Tell me these aren’t Michael Guerin dad vibes, I dare you

Well, I started writing what I thought would be a short ficlet in reply to the dare during my lunch break, but somehow there were a couple more words left to write.

So here are 2.3K (PG) words of dads!Malex and their son. The fic’s also been posted to AO3. 

~*~

It’s Michael’s turn to go through bedtime routine with Matt. Alex snuggles deeper into the warmth of the colorful throw Rosa gave them for Christmas and listens to his two favorites having a deep discussion about the necessity of flossing in the bathroom.

“Papa said I have milk teeth and that they’ll fall out when I’m older. I don’t need to floss,” Alex hears their three year old argue. He snorts. “They will fall out in about three years, that’s a long time for you to still rely on those milk teeth. Come here, Daddy’s gonna floss with you.” Michael’s reply makes Alex smile. He’s so good with Matt. Always happy to explain things, and answering their son’s million questions with the patience of a saint.

He loves Matt’s intriguing mind and his enthusiastic curiosity, but having to explain the ins and outs of cyber security to a toddler after a long day working on improving other people’s cyber security could be a bit much at times. Alex is just grateful that he gets to relax on the sofa and can leave it to Michael to take care of Matt tonight. He takes a sip from his red wine and closes his eyes. What a beautiful evening, and depending on how fast Matt will fall asleep, he has plans to make out with Michael like in the good old days. Just the two of them, in front of the roaring fire.

When he hears the pitter-patter of tiny naked feet on the hardwood floor, he opens his eyes just in time to see Matt speed around the corner, a huge grin plastered on his face. “Look, Papa, my teeth are clean and Daddy showed me how to floss!” He fletches his teeth at Alex, who leans forward to thoroughly inspect Matt’s teeth.

“Wow, you didn’t miss a spot. Excellent job!” Matt flings himself at Alex and wraps his small arms around Alex’s neck. “Daddy has promised to read me a bedtime story. Do you want to come?” Alex wraps Matt into a tight hug and breathes in his scent. Rain, just like his Daddy. Alex presses a kiss into Matt’s dark curls. “I’m a bit tired tonight, Matt, is it okay if I stay on the couch?”

“You stay on the couch and relax, Papa, Daddy and I can handle bringing me to bed.” Alex has a hard time keeping a straight face. “I’m so glad to hear that. Sweet dreams, sweetheart, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow morning.” Matt plasters a flurry of wet kisses all over Alex’s face. “Me, too, Papa. Goodnight!”

He lets go of Alex, and storms out of the living room, passing Michael on his way out, who’s leaning against the door frame. “I won’t take long, we agreed on one bedtime story and me telling him something about the stars. That should put him to sleep quickly. Prepare to be ravished when I come back.” He throws a kiss at Alex who pretends to catch it. “I’m counting on it. I have plans. Wicked plans. I’m in dire need of a mind-blowing orgasm. You up for that?”

Michael pretends to adjust his jeans. “Not yet, but I’ll be, no worries. I’ll blow your mind, and if you’re asking nicely, also your dick,” he smirks. Alex laughs. “My husband’s a sweet talker. Go, get our kid to sleep, and then come back to me. I love you.”

Michael’s wicked smile turned soft. “I love you, too. I hope it won’t take longer than 20 minutes.” He turns around and leaves, the living room door falling shut behind him without Michael touching it. “Showoff,” Alex murmurs fondly, then he wraps himself up in the blanket again and allows himself to drift off for a nap until Michael’s return.

~*~

“Hey, sleepyhead, you still up for that mind-blowing orgasm?” Michael whispers into Alex’s ear almost an hour later. Alex feels Michael’s lips nibble along the sensitive shell of his ear. “Wh—whaaat? How long was I out? Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

Michael laughs. “Because we have the most inquisitive kid, who wouldn’t let me drone on about astrophysics as a means to bore him to sleep. Instead he thought it was a lesson and he kept asking questions. Dear god, what did we get ourselves into with him?” Michael rubs at his eyes. “He shouldn’t even be able to understand what I’m talking about, that didn’t keep him from asking questions, though.”

“Don’t look at me, I’m not the one with the genius brain who’s literally from another planet. He can’t have it from me,” Alex jokes. But Michael isn’t having any of it. “You’re the smartest man I know. You’ve hacked into NASA secret servers to get a blue print for me. There are very few people on this planet who’d be able to pull that off, and I’m certainly not one of them. He clearly has it from both of us, his current interest is just focused on asteroids and black holes.”

Alex pulls himself up into a sitting position. “Well, I feel quite refreshed and still very, very horny. What do you think about going to bed and working on those mind-blowing orgasms there? I just really want to fall asleep right after in your arms.”

Michael takes the blanket, folds it and puts it down on the couch. Then he offers Alex his hand and slowly pulls him into a standing position and into his arms. He presses his crotch against Alex’s, his dick already getting hard. “I’m very much up for your suggestion.”

~*~

Three weeks later, Alex returns home late after a meeting with a client that went on much longer than he would’ve preferred. The project will earn him a small fortune, though, so he didn’t feel like cutting things short. He takes off his jacket and washes his hands in the kitchen. He grabs a water bottle from the fridge and guzzles half of it down. The long drive back from Albuquerque’s made him thirsty, but he didn’t want to stop for water on his way home. When he hears voices coming from Matt’s room, he smiles.

Alex places the half-empty water bottle on the dining table on his way to Matt’s room. Matt and Michael look up from the book they’re reading (a story about the Milky Way) when he enters, and his heart grows at least five sizes in that moment. Matt may have his complexion and dark hair, but he has Michael’s curls and nose, and they look so much alike, Alex can barely handle the amount of love flooding him.

“Papa, Papa, you are back. I’ve missed you!” Matt scrambles up from the comfortable position in Michael’s lap to stand up, his arms reaching for Alex. When he’s close enough, Matt flings himself into Alex’s arms, and he’s glad that he expected this to happen, or else he might not have been able to catch Matt without stumbling.

He’s still grateful for the invisible force of Michael’s telekinesis steadying him. He keeps standing and holds Matt in his arms, while Matt tells him everything about the exciting day he had at kindergarten. Michael gets up from the bed and kisses Alex’s temple softly before he joins the family hug.

This, this is how Alex hopes it will always be. The three of them, a loving unit. Matt’s running out of things to tell eventually, that’s when Michael scoops him up in his arms. “Come on, buddy, your Papa had a really long day and he looks like he could use a break.” He turns to Alex. “Have you eaten yet?”

Alex shakes his head. “No, they served coffee and cookies during the meeting, but I could eat something more substantial. Like you said, it’s been a really long day, but I booked the job.” Michael’s face lights up. “Alex, that’s amazing. I knew you’d ace the meeting. I’m so proud of you!”

“I’m proud too, Papa,” Matt crows. Alex smiles. “Thanks, sweetheart. I’ll go to the kitchen and see what I can throw together real quick, I’m not really in the mood for cooking. Are you two good to do the bedtime routine on your own?”

Michael nods. “There’s leftover casserole in the fridge, ready to be warmed up. We’re almost finished here, I’ll join you when Matt’s asleep.” Michael leans forward and kisses Alex. Matt hooks his arms around Alex’s neck from his position and presses a wet kiss to Alex’s cheek. “Goodnight, dearest Papa. You did good today, I love you.”

Alex is ready to melt into a puddle right there and then. “Oh sweetheart, that means so much to me. Thank you. And I know you’ll be a good boy for Daddy and go to sleep without making a fuss now. Goodnight, sleep tight, and—“ “Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” Matt finishes the sentence. He giggles. “Goodnight, Papa.”

Michael kisses Alex. “Go, eat, I’ll join you shortly. Love you.” Alex tousles Matt’s and Michael’s curls. “Love you both so much!” With that he turns around and leaves for the kitchen. The last thing he hears Matt ask is “Tell me about atoms, Daddy."

~*~

20 years later

It’s a beautiful and sunny day in Massachusetts when Matthew Norman Guerin, an athletic young man with a wide smile and unruly dark curls walks up to the podium at MIT to give this year’s graduation speech. He doesn’t have a script (he doesn’t need one, he’s memorized the speech days ago), but his eyes search the front row until his face lights up and he smiles.

There they are, his papa, Alex Guerin, a dark haired man with attractive graying temples, and his dad, Professor Michael Guerin, sporting honey golden curls that look so much like Matt’s. His parents are holding hands and look up to the podium with such love and pride in their eyes, Matt has to swallow around a huge lump in his throat.

He clears his throat. “Before I begin my speech, please allow me to tell you something about myself and the two extraordinary people who raised me. It all started about twenty years ago, when my dad would try to lull me to sleep by telling me fascinating details about space and the universe that should’ve gone way over my head. I was only three years old at the time, and yet there was something about the things he told me, that intrigued and excited me. Instead of falling asleep, I kept asking him questions for almost an hour, and he answered them all.”

Matt runs his hand through his hair, a gesture that is so typical Michael, Alex can’t help but smile. Matt continues. “Both my parents have always answered all my questions. And if they didn’t know the answer, we’d look for an answer online, or call my aunt Liz. My family instilled this huge hunger for knowledge in me, and the excitement to do research. I wouldn’t be standing here in front of you without them, and I certainly wouldn’t have been offered a job with the NASA Deep Space program, if it wasn’t for them.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Alex notices the tears pooling in Michael’s eyes and he squeezes his hand. Michael squeezes back. “Dad, Papa, I’d like to thank you, for everything you’ve done for me. Thank you for always answering my questions, for giving me access to knowledge, for encouraging me to search for answers. I couldn’t have done most of what I’ve achieved in my life without your love and support. I love you.”

The crowd around Alex and Michael erupts into applause. They both have tears running down their faces now, but they don’t mind. This is such an important day, and their boy is up there, best of his class, a bright future ahead of him. Alex leans over and kisses Michael softly on the cheek.

Later, when all the speeches are over and every student has received their diploma, Matt finds his parents in the crowd. His entire family’s in attendance, his grandma, Liz and Max, Isobel and Greg, and all his cousins. But Matt only has eyes for his fathers. He walks up to them - he’s taller than both of them “he’s got that from me,” Greg likes to claim - and wraps his arms around their shoulders.

Alex and Michael close the circle by hugging each other, and for a long moment it’s only the three of them. “I love you, Dad and Papa. Thanks for everything,” Matt says in a hushed voice. “We love you, too, Matt. And we are so proud of you. Thanks for being the best son we could’ve possibly asked for,” Alex says. One final squeeze, and then Matt’s swept up in hugs and congratulations from the rest of the family.

Alex and Michael stay where they are, arms wrapped around each other. “His existence alone is an absolute miracle, a kid carrying both our genes, but this day is up in my top five moments for sure,” Alex says, keeping his voice low. This is for Michael’s ears only. Michael nods. “Yeah, I think our first time, our wedding, and his birth are higher up on my list of favorite memories, but today’s a great day for sure. We did an amazing job with him.”

“I’m so proud of him, and I’m proud of us, Michael. And I love you more than words can say. Thanks for going on this adventure called life and raising our son with me.” Michael smiles and pulls their clasped hand to his lips and kisses the back of Alex’s hand. “I love you, too,” he whispers. “And I have every intention to show you later in our hotel room.” Alex laughs. “You are impossible, Michael Guerin. But yes, please do, I’ll never get tired of you showing me all the million ways you love me.”

And with that, they join the others in celebrating their son.

[mmilkbreadd]

Chapter twenty three: “Bokuto Hates Goodbyes”

Masterpost - Prev - Next.

Warning(s): post-timeskip manga spoilers!!

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“Tendou is going to quit volleyball after graduating. He wants to go to Paris to work as a chocolatier” you said, never taking your eyes off him. You sighed again, trying to find the words to tell him. Bokuto noticed your pause and smiled at you waiting for you to reply. “And I... I'm going with him.”

Koutarou's smile faded, along with the hope in his heart. 

Silence took over the atmosphere. You were trying to look at Bokuto, but he kept his gaze on the snowy ground. Neither of you had opened your mouths to say anything. Maybe because the correct words did not exist to express what you were feeling at that moment; you, remorse, and Bokuto didn't even know what to feel. Sadness, melancholy, happiness because you are going to fulfill your dream... fear of being forgotten. 

So many things to say, feel, live. 

“Why?” he asked, still with his gaze on the floor.

“Why…?”  you lashed several times. “Because I want to be a baker, fulfill my dream and my grandmother's... It's what I want, Kou.”

Koutarou started to shake his head from side to side, his hands over his hair. 

“Yes I know, but Paris?”  Bokuto looked at you for the first time, his eyes filling with tears. “That's like a million miles away!”

The snow kept falling on you two and the cold seemed to increase, but neither appeared to notice. The moment seemed eternal: Bokuto's tears that still did not come out, the imminent farewell, the silence that still continued ...

“We can continue to be friends, Koutarou, you shouldn't worry” the Owl turned to the opposite side of the school, and started walking away quickly. “Bokuto! Bokuto!” there was still no response on his part. “Koutarou, wait!”

Even though in his mind Bokuto had planned not to return, hearing his name come out of your mouth once more, he stopped short. He quickly turned to see you, your nose was red from the cold, and smoke came out every time you spoke when you apologized to him.”

“I don't want to be friends” shouted Bokuto looking straight into your eyes, with a tear rolling on his cheek. “I do not want you to go! W-we're just getting to know each other! It's not fair.”

Bokuto pouted while still staring at you. 

“We still have time, I won't be leaving for another month,” you said, but you knew it wasn't enough time. Not even a thousand years would be. “We'll talk on the phone!”

Promises that were very difficult to keep. Even if you wanted to, with the exams that would be shortly, and then in the cooking academy, it would be impossible to maintain much contact. You didn't know if you could even keep it with Emiko and Wakatoshi.

“Don't say things that later won't be true,” Bokuto said for the last time, wiping the tears that fell from his eyes. “Bye, y/n.”

And in a last act of desperation, you grabbed Koutarou by the wrist and then grabbed his coat tightly, then brought your lips together with his. 

After a few seconds, the light of a flash interrupted you.

“I'm sorry?” Emiko said with a nervous little smile. She had taken a picture of you kissing, and now she was slowly walking away so she could escape your creepy gaze. “I better go, haha. Byeee.”

Again the silence had taken over the environment. But this time, Bokuto's face was completely changed. His cheeks were flushed and he had a big smile on his lips.

“You like me too?” he asked suddenly. 

And even though you were speechless, you were able to whisper a little “yes”. Bokuto without warning held you with his arms, hugging you, and then started jumping up and down several times.

“Wait, we were fighting two minutes ago,” he said, making an angry face, but then his true colors showed and he started laughing. “Hey Hey hey! It no longer matters, we must take advantage of every second. Get ready, y/n, I'll come tomorrow at nine in the morning! Well maybe not that early, but I'll come before lunch!”

And here was another example where you could see the captain of Fukurodani change his mood quickly.

You said goodbye and you entered the academy again, thinking about how to assassinate Emiko. 

Tomorrow would be the last day you would see Bokuto in a long time.

And maybe forever. 

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Just as Koutarou had said the night before, at eleven in the morning he was at Shiratorizawa's gate, waiting for you to come out. It was not as early as he would have liked, but he had also arrived very late at the hotel, so he needed to sleep as well. Even though you were already walking towards the exit, two people arrived before you.

“Hello, Bokuto-san,” Tendou greeted. “Let's get straight to the point, what are your intentions with the little y/n? Ushijima and I are not very convinced that you go out with her so often. You were too late last night, and now it's too early. I hope you are not doing strange things out there. This is not Tokyo, my friend.”

“He is not your friend, Tendou” Ushijima said in a whisper, with his deep voice.

“I know, best friend, but I want to intimidate him” Satori whispered back, but he didn't realize that Bokuto had heard everything. 

In the distance, you came walking next to Emiko. You had already forgiven her for last night's photo, although she still hadn't deleted it from Twitter, and had even put it as your profile picture for a few hours until you noticed and took it out. You can tell that Tsukasa almost ran out of roommates. 

“Hey, aren't those Satori and Wakatoshi talking to your boyfriend?” She asked you, pointing to your friends and the one who wasn't your boyfriend really.

“I'm going to kill them.”

You sped up your pace to get there as quickly as possible and avoid disaster before it happens. But to your surprise, when you got to where the three of them were, all you could hear was laughter. Yes, even Ushijima.

“What is happening here?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at Satori, who you thought was responsible for this situation. And as always, you were right.

“Oh, nothing, y/n. Just old friends remembering old times” said Tendou with a rather forced laugh. Then, Ushijima and Bokuto also began to laugh out loud, while Koutarou made a danger signal with his eyes, and Emiko watched the situation in disbelief.

“I think Koutarou and I should go now” and before any of your friends could say anything, you grabbed him by the sleeve of his jacket and trotted off to Miyagi's main park.

Behind you, you could hear Tendou's screams calling for you to come back, but you ignored them and kept walking quickly in front of Bokuto.

Arriving at the park you could see several children with their parents playing in the snow, despite not having snowed today, there was still a little snow on the trees and grass.

“Thanks for saving me, things were getting ugly there,” he said as he took your hand that was on his sleeve, to be holding hands normally. “I have bad news.”

More bad news? You didn't think you were going to be able to endure another misfortune this weekend. It seems that Bokuto noticed your desperate face and squeezed your hand tightly to encourage you.

“They have suspended my bus for tomorrow, they say there will be a snowstorm in the afternoon so they have changed the schedule.” Nothing went right for tragic volleyball lovers. “I'm leaving tonight, so we can't see each other tomorrow.”

The world fell at your feet. How could everything go wrong for you? A lot of drama has existed lately.

“And now what?” you asked him.

“We live in the moment!” and without saying anything else, Bokuto started to run towards the ice skating rink, never letting go of your hand. 

The ice was full of small children, who watched Koutarou every time he made a few meters and fell letting out a scream. The kids laughed at the Owl's exaggeration, causing him to make it even more dramatic to obtain more laughter. Every time you fell, Bokuto would rush to get up and ask you if you were okay, even if you were laughing at yourself and had not suffered any injuries.

After skating for half an hour or so, you decided to go for lunch because it was already quite late. You went to the same cafeteria that you had gone to the day before, and you ordered something warm since today's temperature was even colder than yesterday’s. 

At the end of lunch, Bokuto asked you to show him around the city, although there was not much to show as it was quite small compared to Tokyo. You showed him where Karasuno High was, but you didn't go there since it was relatively far from where you were. He took several photos and sent them to Akaashi, and then to his mother. 

The hours passed quickly, reaching the time of curfew, which meant that you had to go back to school, and Bokuto to his hotel to find his bags and go to the station. Unfortunately, you could not accompany him before his bus leaves. 

“It's time to say goodbye,” you told him once at the entrance of the academy. "Thanks for coming to visit me, Kou.”

Before saying something to you, Bokuto put his arms around you. This time neither of you were crying, nor were sad. You were happy for the time you spent together.

“Goodbye, y/n, I'm going to miss you” and with a lot of bravery in his heart, Koutarou brought his lips to yours one last time. 

“I promise to call you.”

And so, Bokuto Koutarou said goodbye with a sad smile, knowing that that promise was nothing more than an empty promise.

And that at the end of all, it would not be kept. 

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A/N: I know Bokuto’s hair isn’t exactly accurate in the photo but it was the best image I could find😩😩 sorryy

Btw who wouldn’t leave everything behind to go to Paris with Tendou Satori? I wouldn’t even think about it, my bags are ready!

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Tags in reblog!

(and also a little surprise!)

If you want to be tagged in these posts please send an ask.

You can also complete the form that is linked in the Masterpost.

Thanks for reading🥰

[derivativealigner]

I rewatched the second season of South Park and took so many notes that I had to split them into two parts. Like seriously, I took so. many. notes. And pictures this time. I started rewatching just in case I’d find some cool little facts to sprinkle into my fanfic but I went way too far and now there’s a million facts under this cut (including gay stan, a domestic violence psa, and craig fucking dying)

Stan doesn’t like hospitals, he finds them gross and he gets sick 🤮. Also the hospital in South Park is called Hell’s Pass hospital. Early seasons have the name as Hells Pass but it gets fixed later

Cartman has to sing all of Come Sailing Away by Styx if he hears a part of it. After he says this, Kyle sings the first part and Cartman has to sing the rest. Kyle does it again later, which is kinda mean

Cartman’s mom tries to abort Cartman, who is an eight-year-old child and thus cannot be legally aborted. Later, after she slept with Bill Clinton to change the law and make 40th trimester abortions legal, it turns out she meant adoption

Kenny sacrifices himself to turn on the generator to the hospital and save Dr. Mephesto’s life along with others. He says “I’ll fucking do it” then does it and dies, absolute legend

Cartman gets way too into his deputy role. He goes undercover, pretends to be a prostitute, says “Respect my authoritah!” a lot and beats people up with his police stick

Kenny’s brother first appears when Cartman responds to a call about a disturbance at Kenny’s house. Apparently there are like 10 adult family members in the house at that time. Kenny’s dad has a black eye because Kenny’s mom punched him. She says he can’t hold a job

Token sits in the classroom in season 2

Cartman starts hating hippies in this season, like a lot

Chef tells the boys that the right time to do drugs is in college

Ike’s name is Ike Moisha Broflovski and he was born in 1996, making him 2 years old in 1998 when this season aired

This is probably obvious but yeah Kyle and Ike are circumcised

Kyle says family isn’t just blood, it’s who you care about, and he says “That’s why you guys are more than just friends, you’re my family. Except for Cartman.”

Craig’s finally sitting in the classroom in S02E04

None of the boys like dodgeball

Clyde gets a dodgeball to the face and he cries :( and he’s the only one who cries by the way

Pip throws a dodgeball in Kyle’s face and breaks Kyle’s nose

When Kyle’s mom tells the boys about conjoined twin myslexia (which isn’t a real term) and says anyone might’ve absorbed their dead twin in the womb, Stan and Cartman run away screaming but Kenny and Kyle stay to listen. Kenny even leans in to look at the book “Freaks A-Z!” that Mrs. Broflovski is reading from, and when she leaves, Kyle grimaces and Kenny laughs

Stan’s mom (Sharon) calls Kyle’s mom (Sheila) when Stan is all freaked out and trying to put an icepick through his brain, and Sharon tells Sheila to get run over by a truck. Sharon is pretty mean in these early episodes

Mr. Broflovski doesn’t really listen to what Mrs. Broflovski is saying, bad husband >:(

South Park’s team is always called South Park Cows no matter the sport

The school nurse, Nurse Gollum, went to Colorado State University

I just realized Butters exists. I think he appeared before S02E05 but I didn’t notice but yeah he’s there with the dodgeball team, injured

Here’s a picture to make up for my disgusting anti-Butters bias

Kenny’s dodgeball uniform number is 69 obviously. Kyle is 7, Stan is 4, Cartman is 325

Sheila smacks Gerald in the face so hard he falls off his chair, lots of violence perpetrated by women in this show. Remember, don’t do domestic violence no matter your gender, it’s not cool

I realized after this whole Butters thing that I should’ve made more notes about Pip, so I’ll make a note about his anger issues now. When people call him French, he gets angry and throws dodgeballs at them

The boys launch a jelly roll at Ms. Crabtree and make her crash the bus. They do it just for fun

The kids somehow go to China in the school bus

Cartman references Moby Dick, but he probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about

Kevin Stoley gets named in S02E05 and has his first speaking role when he says he has Chinese parents and after Cartman hears it he immediately says something racist. smh cartman, what a problematic fave

Cartman says “I love you guys 😊” but Stan and Kyle just stare at him and he goes 😐 “Eh, screw you guys 😠”

If Jimbo and Ned really fought in Vietnam, they youngest they could’ve been in 1998 is early forties, which means in the latest seasons they would be early sixties. Btw they met in Vietman

Jesus and Pals is a recurring TV show in seasons 1 and 2. Jesus just kind of lives in South Park

I just remembered that Terrance and Phillip are really old in canon, it’s so weird, like how can South Park canon still be changing, it’s been 20 years

Also the early seasons are casually racist who knew

Kenny flashes his ass on a tape the boys send to Jimbo and Ned’s TV show, which airs and at least 12 people see Kenny’s bare naked ass

Cartman really doesn’t like hippies in these early seasons. He throws a chair at Ned and yells, “Take that, hippie!” (Ned is in a catatonic state and did nothing to provoke this)

Jimbo and Ned live together I guess. Jimbo’s gonna take Ned home and show him some hardcore porn to snap him out of his catatonic state, good husband unlike Gerald Broflovski

Saddam Hussein is in hell and has a Canadian accent and is Satan’s lover in S02E06, I guess he died in Canada in the first episode this season but I wasn’t paying much attention since that’s the Terrance and Phillip episode that pissed a bunch of people off in 1998 because the audience wanted to know who Cartman’s dad is instead. It was kind of a boring episode so I understand why everyone was pissed, but it is funny that Matt and Trey did that so I’m not mad about it

Aww look at them!!! We’ve got background Style, the vaguest inkling of Crenny, and Cartman/Cake

I’d take more screenshots but it’s a pain since I’m watching legally and stupid legal websites block screenshots so I have to find youtube videos instead ughhhh piracy is the answer kids

Apparently there’s a huge waterfall and canyon somewhere close to South Park, maybe? At least in Stan’s dream

Mary Kay Bergman was an incredible voice actor. How the hell did she voice all the moms, Wendy, Shelly, principle Victoria, the mayor, Nurse Gollum, and fucking Ms. Crabtree??? Holy shit what a queen

Kenny has some feelings about death. He reimagines the episode where death boops him to death and in his version, he beats death the fuck up, then has ice cream and is happy 😊 But again, this is in Stan’s dream

S02E07 kind of establishes that nobody remembers Kenny dying because when Cartman tells a story where Kenny dies, Kyle questions how Kenny could’ve died then when he also died just a few hours ago when a giant monster took him

rip craig, he falls out the bus and into a canyon

But it’s okay because it was all Stan’s dream so everything in the episode is questionable. Everything after this is no longer a dream

Pip’s parents are dead and he has to go to summer school while everyone else is having a nice summer break

Officer Barbrady and the mayor are having sexual relations, I’m sure this is the most interesting note I’ve made so far. Idk I’m just writing everything down, this is how I enjoy things, I have no off switch

Ew summer bus stop, cursed

Kyle casually sings little tunes every once in a while, how cute

This is pretty obvious but Kenny likes dirty jokes, he laughs when Cartman innocently says he loves Chef’s salty chocolate balls (which are chocolate candy). Nobody else laughs

Cartman says “Screw you guys, I’m going home” or variations of it a lot in this season

So Stan throws up when he likes someone, right? Well, he’s watching an indie movie about two gay cowboys who start making out and he throws up, which is either a terrible homophobic joke or confirmation that Stan’s a little gay. I know which one I prefer

Kyle says Mr. Hankey is his best friend after Stan. Like I know it’s definitely canon that Stan and Kyle are best friends but it’s still nice to see confirmation, it’s very precious. Also Kyle is best friends with literal shit, so cute 😊

Kenny deaths:

S02E02 Kenny sacrifices himself by connecting a generator wire, which electrocutes him but brings power back to a hospital

S02E03 A tree falls on Kenny and crushes him

S02E04 Kenny falls in a grave and the gravestone falls on him

S02E05 The Chinese dodgeball team throws a ball at Kenny and he gets splattered against a wall

S02E06 Two guys pull on Kenny and tear him in half, as in one has the head and one has the legs

S02E07 A big scary monster plucks Kenny out of the school bus and carries him away. Also in Cartman’s fake memory of Fonzi jumping over cars, the motorcycle hits Kenny and crushes him against a brick wall. Kenny gets smashed against walls a lot, doesn’t he?

S02E08 Flashback: Baby Kenny has a firecracker and it explodes, sprinkling little baby Kenny parts everywhere. Later in the episode, current day Kenny dies when a giant firework snake bumps him off a stage and under a fence, which then crushes him.

S02E09 Kenny is playing with a yoyo outside a movie theatre when a bunch of people come outside and trample him to death. They say “Oh my God, I found a penny!” and “You bastard!”

I’ll post part 2 of season 2 in a couple days. I’m having way more fun writing these stupid notes than I thought I would (also gnomes is coming up soon and i am fucking ready for tweek)

[feminetflix]

De atracos y ab*rtos - Of heists and ab*rtions or How women are being robbed.

⚠️ this contains major spoilers for LA CASA DE PAPEL / MONEY HEIST season 1, specifically episode 3!

Personally, I have experienced the series la casa de papel (original title) or money heist as progressive, realistic and not afraid to deal with certain topics like domestic violence which I will be commenting on in posts yet to be published, female trans representation and occasionally peppered with numerous feminist parentheses (see characters like Nairobi and dialogues around/involving her opinion).

However, there are certain aspects I did not enjoy to watch / do not support. That is normal and every show has its flaws, those resulting all the more dangerous however, as money heist is not just any show. The series is thanks to its popularity by now a relevant aspect of people’s opinion-forming and plays into the perception of many people all around the world, coming from different cultures and having experienced all kinds of upbringing. The target audience is not specified, yet crime drama (the genre) is estimated to target both females and males aged 15-40 years old. Means, also targeting minors and adolescents. Again, all cultures / religions / races / classes etc etc included.

I am fully aware that this kind of range was not expected and therefore not taken into account by producers, talking about the first two seasons that were solely meant for a Spanish audience, not an international one. (The series was initially intended as a limited series to be told in two parts. It had its original run of 15 episodes on Spanish network Antena 3 from 2 May 2017 through 23 November 2017. Netflix acquired global streaming rights in late 2017). The analysed / discussed scene is indeed part of this maybe not so carefully crafted content. Cough.

Let’s get right into it.

Characters interacting: Mónica Gaztambide (Esther Acebo), one of the hostages who was also Arturo Román's secretary and introduced as his mistress and “Denver” (Jaime Lorente), one of the robbers participating in the heist [Denver is an alias, all robbers being referred to with city names]

Context: Mónica has an affair with Arturo Román (Enrique Arce) -hostage and former Director of the Royal Mint of Spain- which leads to an unwanted pregnancy. Numerous factors influence her (for now) final decision: she doesn’t want the child. Shortly after, the robbery unfolds and she’s taken hostage among other people. She then requests an ab*rtion pill, which at some point arrives in the mint alongside other medical supplies. The scene analysed: one of the robbers (Denver) is supposed to hand her mentioned ab*rtion pill. Before that he holds an emotional speech on the subject, morally risen forefinger, accusations and tears included.

Here the dialogue without comments:

————Now my opinion / the actual post:

“You need money, right?” One might think that the amount of money seen in this frame (20.000,-€ approx. $21.701,50 according to Denver) is an exaggerated, way too generous gesture. Let me tell you, it is not.

According to a 2017 report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the average cost of raising a child from birth [to] age 17 is $233,610. If that made your heart skip a beat, take a deep breath before you read on. Incorporating inflation costs, it will be more like $284,570. Since that’s based on 2015 numbers, we can expect the cost will be even higher, babies born since then.

[…] This average includes everything from housing, food and transportation to healthcare, education and childcare to clothing, personal care items and entertainment.

Let me now remind you that Mónica is a secretary, so she likely earns (barely) enough money to be financially independent herself (taking into account that she lives near or maybe even in Madrid, her workplace, the Royal Mint situated there, so housing alone is hella expensive) and can’t really expect reliable support coming from the potential child’s father, Arturo Román, either, who initially denied support himself, their relationship a secret to the family and wife he already has. Phew.

Btw: A University of California at San Francisco study found that women who were turned away from ab*rtion clinics […] were three times more likely to be below the poverty level two years later than women who were able to obtain ab*rtions. 76% of the "turnaways" ended up on unemployment benefits, compared with 44% of the women who had ab*rtions.

“Enough to get the kid diapers until he graduates.” The problem or let’s say points raised above are now also being ridiculed or not taken seriously to say the least.

She takes the money, sticking to her decision however. “So, what’s the problem?” Or “Then, what is it?” A million additional things, Denver, believe it or not a potential child is a big deal. That and none of your business.

Also, see the reaction? How he stares at her in disbelief (and possibly even disgust, see the risen corner of his lips?). How he looks at her as if she were heartless, selfish, a monster – the picture often painted in this debate when it comes to women who decide to terminate a pregnancy. How he doesn’t respect her “no, thanks” and continues. Continues influencing her, later on even starts to mansplain his way into her stone cold heart. Okay, then let me continue as well.

“That he’ll f*ck up your life? […] Your son. Better to have your life f*cked up by your son than any of these sons of b*tches. Or me.” Call it ‘f*ck up’ or not – that is entirely her perception, her decision and I’d dare to say…she knows best.

First, because regardless of the fact that she is a woman and you are not – well it is indeed her life and, uhm, excuse me Denver, you’re no sibling, no friend, no acquaintance, quite the contrary, you have known her for what? Three minutes and already jump to conclusions?

Take the privilege of explaining her how a child would f*ck or not f*ck up her life?!!

Secondly, what makes him assume the gender of this cluster of cells, this potential future life, this basis for a potential life that may later on develop into a life (it is not a walking talking baby boy already, my friend!).

Personhood begins after a fetus becomes “viable” (able to survive outside the womb) or after birth, not at conception.

Does it provide a smooth transition for that awfully funny and figurative “son” – “sons of b*tches” (org. Hijo – hijos de p*ta) line or is it literal propaganda?

Why does he say “your son”, although he cannot possibly know? I’ll tell you. In order to distract the audience from the fact that he is referring to a pea-sized basis for a potential life by painting the picture of an already existing male human being. Mónica, do you really want to murder your son? Mónica, does that cute little doe eyed baby boy really f*ck up your life? Yeah, propaganda at its best.

Also, another example for ridiculing the point “a child would destroy my life” by comparing an unwanted pregnancy to a literal robbery at gun point. Great one.

“This f*cks your life up. A kid doesn’t.” Do you see that raised gun, that is quite literally an extension of a raised index finger? Wow, the drama. On a different note, did you notice the symbolism? A weapon stands for death, murder and guess what is also often equated with murder.

“How do you know what f*cks up my life? What do you know?” Finally. Exactly. He doesn’t know her, like at all. He doesn’t know her situation and no, he’s also not the pregnant one or anyone who would have to worry about that.

What do you answer to that, hmm? Let’s make this whole dispute even more emotional and dramatic. That ‘a cute little son isn’t as bad as a robbery’ didn’t convince her?

Let’s try with an extraordinary f*cked up and tragic life story, nobody asked for. Its goal? Showing the oblivious, naive, little secretary what real ‘f*ck up’ means, despite the evident lack of any sort of knowledge when it comes to her life (story). Again, conclusion-jumping and wallowing in prejudice at its best.

Have a look at his expression while ‘lecturing’ her. How disrespectful, how belittling. ‘Oh please, what do you know about life?’. On a wider scale: ‘How could we possibly trust women to rationally and with a clear conscience decide such things for themselves – concerning life and death, if they have not the slightest idea, living in their bubble of security and stability and no real problems’ etc. This is everything but taking women and their reasoning abilities, their judgement seriously.

“My mother was going to ab*rt me.” Now the audience doesn’t only have the mental image of a potential cute little son, it is furthermore provided with the image of a living, breathing human being standing right in front of them. Just look at him and his pleading puppy dog eyes. No actual child actor could have done it better.

Thank god she did not go through with the ab*rtion, right? Oh thank god she was not allowed to.

Taking advantage of this frame to remind you of the fact that we are still talking about a POTENTIAL future life, not an existing one that is nevertheless put above the mother’s already existing life in this impudent, low and unfair debate.

“But first…she inhaled the heroin she had to sell to be able to pay for the ab*rtion. Then she was caught by the police. Between jail, drugs and the police, I was born. What do you know?”

1)Adding even more emotions, subtle accusations and drama to that oh so rational dispute? Check. Making his situation seem two thousand times worse than hers (which he, again, has no clue about)? Check. Subconsciously painting the picture of reckless, irresponsible drug addicts/ “lowlifes” or generally female members of “society’s margins” usually being the ones to abort and make it seem like the state’s or whoever’s responsibility to prevent them from deciding for themselves? Check.

2) Then he even tears her valid ‘what do you know (about my life)’ out of the initial context of being confronted with endless assumptions and prejudice and blows it way out of proportion in order to demonstrate the insignificance of … everything concerning her? Her background, her life, her reasons. Everything.

And FINALLY *drum rolls* the wild theories and hypotheses and presumptions she was dying to hear because since he, I repeat for the twelfth time, has no actual clue about her life, let’s make up one.

“Because it seems that you don’t have a very exciting job. And maybe outside of work your life is not that great either. Or what is it that you do? ‘Kilates’? And Friday night drinks, right? What a f*cking drag. Another plan ruined by the kid[…]” That and the entire following paragraph. Wow. All accusations thrown at women who decide to abort in one.

Because OF COURSE a middle aged, down to earth, intelligent, responsible woman like Mónica Gaztambide has no other reason for terminating a pregnancy than not being able to drink alcoholic beverages or party anymore. Because OF COURSE it is valid to assume a woman or any person for that matter one has known for half an hour and interacted with for literal five minutes has a boring enough life that would not be affected in any way by a pregnancy, birth and ultimately being forced to raise an unwanted child. Because OF COURSE Denver would know how much a pregnancy can affect somebody, especially one that is forced upon a person. Quite frankly he has no idea and no right. The audacity.

“Do [your friends who are also mothers] seem f*cked up? / Do their lives look f*cked up? No, right?” Because you know best. Not only regarding her life but on top of that also that of her friends. Because those pregnancies or motherhood in general did under no circumstances end a career or prevent them from pursuing one in the first place or cause the end of a relationship or force them to stay in a toxic or even abusive relationship or change their financial situation completely or rob them of their fragile financial independence and/or free time altogether or cause any (mental) health complications or … you get the point. Oh, and because their situations are completely identical to Mónica’s situation, that is additionally not half as dramatic as your life story. Of course, Denver.

Seeing the ‘rational’ argument doesn’t really work, let’s add yet another dramatic, emotional rhetorical question. As a precaution.

“Do you know how much a child can love you?”

How could she, being the heartless, cruel, selfish, irresponsible, ridiculous and impulsive murderess you’re ‘exposing’ her as?

⚠️ Another spoiler warning for seasons 3 and 4 and still 1.

Would Cincinnati - that’s her sons actual name, not alias – really love her like he does now?

Friendly reminder: his biological father (Arturo Román) let her know - right from the start - that he wouldn’t take on any responsibility whatsoever, regardless of his later statements about doing so. Why those statements don’t matter? Despite his awareness of her state, despite knowing she was pregnant he shortly after urges her on to steal the cellphone she is caught with right after the analysed scene, ready to risk her life and the potential life of his unborn child. Literally, because as soon as she is caught with it, Berlín orders Denver to execute her.

So to those of you who will now say “but- but Cincinnati is okay and has an amazing life and does love her” etc etc, first think certain things through. If Denver wouldn’t have spared her, if she didn’t just happen to get together with him and if the heist didn’t just happen to work out like that, what then?

Cincinnati would have a different name. What else? Well for one, he wouldn’t have a father (that is now Denver) like at all, resulting in possible daddy issues / issues in general. How I know Arturo, the biological father, wouldn’t be there for them, wouldn’t fulfill all his empty promises?

Did he canonically care about his son? Was he devastated that he was not given the possibility to see him or did he instead focus on that random book of his and his speeches about heroism and honour and so on? If he wouldn’t have called his wife by his mistress’s name and through that expose himself, if his family wouldn’t have left him all alone, don’t you think he would stick to them? Just to paint a picture of who the father is and how he behaves and what we can assume from that behaviour. So the probability was high she would’ve been left alone with I quote “all the love” and of course all the responsibility. It’s a thing, Denver.

Secondly, if she didn’t just happen to turn into a millionaire thanks to the heist working out, would she really be able to provide a life for Cincinnati? Would she really be able to remain financially independent? Would her life at her son’s side really be all peace and harmony if she wouldn’t just so happen to be able to live from heist money?

So many coincidences, so many risks and no security. Can we really blame her? Do we have the right?

With these questions I will end this seemingly endless post and leave you to think about it, reflect certain things and – if you want to – share your opinion(s) with me. Please don’t hesitate to do so, as long as those contain rational arguments and most importantly respect. Thank you for reading!

(Also: sorry for the extensive censoring, I had to, otherwise it wouldn’t appear in the tags.)

[thinkingimmensely]

Okay. III

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 4

A/N: It’s been a year or two already (I think I’m not really sure) since I last posted and man, this has been sitting in my drafts for forever. But I’m glad I was able to finish this chapter and I hope you guys like it as much as I do. 

This is a long one and I was about to cut it in half but decided not to. I hope that’s all right! 

BTW if you want to be on my taglist for this story or part of the permanent, don’t hesitate to send me a dm, an ask, or just comment here~ :)

MATERLIST

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from the Potterverse!

___________________

It was easy. Finding a house was easy, getting a job was easy. With your title as an ex-Auror, Madam Rosmerta didn't think twice about hiring you, especially since there were Dementors stationed around the village. She thought that with an ex-Auror around, customers would most likely feel safer. The pay was small but you didn't care about that, you had enough to get you by; besides, Sirius was chipping in as well.

Classes started a month ago at Hogwarts and you knew this was the year Harry could come to Hogsmeade. You tried to calm your excitement down and remind yourself that he may not be as thrilled to meet a godmother he never heard about until now.  

You almost forgot that the faculty loved visiting Hogsmeade as much as the students; so, when the head of houses came trotting in, you almost dropped the tray you were carrying, along with the numerous empty glasses on it. McGonagall's usually stern eyes widened in surprise as well and she rushed over to you like a mother who finally found her long-lost daughter.  

"Y/N Y/L/N!" She exclaimed so uncharacteristically even Professor Sprout raised a brow in mild surprise. "How are you? You've been gone from the earth for who knows how long. Since when have you been back?"

You placed the tray on the counter and whisked it away with your wand so the glasses washed themselves on the sink then turned back to your old mentor. "I've been getting by somehow." You cheekily replied. "I've just been back actually. How's Hogwarts?"

"Oh, absolutely dreadful, dear. The Dementors are sucking the life out of the school." Professor Sprout answered. "If it only weren't for Sirius Black-" She was about to continue but Professor McGonagall shot her a sharp look which made her backtrack on her words immediately. "Ah-yes- I almost forgot. He was your friend. I'm sorry dear."  

You let out a sad smile, "Yes... well, people change, don't they?"  

Professor McGonagall sympathetically placed a hand on your shoulder. "Y/N, you should visit the castle sometimes. Harry- I'm sure Harry Potter would love to meet his godmother. Professor Lupin may want to see you again as well."

You frowned at the mention of his name and you turned away from McGonagall. "I'll um... I'll think about it." You replied awkwardly, "Now please excuse me, but I have to go back to work." You made sure to stay clear of your old professors' presence for the rest of their visit. It's not that you hated them, but you didn't want blasts from the past to hit you.  

The door soon opened and a huge, black dog came trotting in. "Ah, always on time that one." Madam Rosmerta chimed as she came out of the bathroom. "You can go once you finish cleaning up Y/N, can't keep the lovely canine waiting now." She beamed as she went to pat the dog fondly on the head. "You're a good boy now aren't ya Mr. Snuffles?" She cooed.

You held your laughter in as you watched Sirius wag his furry tail and he shot you a glare momentarily. You cleared your throat and went to wash the remaining mugs. You were done in a matter of minutes and bid Madam Rosmerta goodbye as you and Sirius exited the shop. The both of you walked the already empty street of the village and you could feel the cold etching on. Sirius nuzzled your hand in comfort and you flashed him a thankful smile. Auror or not, Dementors still creeped the hell out of you.

You soon arrived at the doorstep of your small house at the edge of the village. It only had one bedroom and bathroom, and the kitchen was connected to the living room but it was livable and that was all that mattered. You closed the door behind you and closed the blinds of the windows and turned the lights on. When you turned, Sirius was already sitting by the fireplace on the rug.  

"What do you want for dinner?" You asked and he just shrugged his shoulders. You sighed and went to the kitchen and searched for something to cook. "You know," you started, "I saw Professor McGonagall today." This seemed to catch his attention because he turned to you. "She said I should visit the castle sometimes, see how Harry is doing, and maybe have the courage to finally meet him."  You rambled, "Oh and guess what? Remus is a professor now."  

You had Sirius' full attention now and he was making his way towards you.  

"Dumbledore offered me a job months ago, for the position of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. I'm glad I refused because it seems that Remus was the second choice." You took out the board and placed it on the counter. You tucked a stray strand of your hair behind your ear and whisked your wand towards the spices and levitated it towards the board. You enchanted the knife to cut them and you got some chicken off the freezer.  

Sirius began setting the table, silently listening to you. "McGonagall even told me that Remus might want to see me again. I bet he'd be absolutely thrilled." You sarcastically announced and turned to your friend who was watching you. "You're awfully quiet." You noted.

Sirius raised a brow at you and flashed you his usual playful smirk. "I love listening to you talk of course.” He smirked, “Besides, I might finally learn what happened to the both of you if I keep listening."  

You shrugged your shoulders and casted a heating spell on the chicken to quickly defrost it. "Well in summary, he left me." You simply said. Sirius looked at you as if you had just grown another head.  

"What? I'm confused. Remus was in love with you!"  

You frowned at him. "Well I guess love wasn’t enough to make him stay." You countered. "But it's not entirely his fault anyway, I was probably a handful." You busied yourself with cooking to not let your emotions get the better of you. "I mean, he's had enough on his plate from the start- and just to add me to it; he probably couldn't handle it y'know?"

Sirius shook his head fervently, "No, no, no, no, that couldn't be it, that sounds nothing like him. Y/N, Remus loved you; he- he was planning to propose to you when the war ended!" He held you by the shoulders and looked at you straight in the eyes.

You turned away from Sirius, mainly so he couldn't see the tears that was starting to form in your eyes. You promised yourself you wouldn't cry for him anymore, and so far, you've been able to keep that promise. But knowing that he was going to propose stabbed something deep inside of you. A longing that no one else could replace; regret that maybe you should've done more to keep him. You shouldn't have let him walked out that door that night ten years ago.  "People change Sirius, you of all should know that by now." Steeling your resolve, you turned your back to him to drop the conversation.

Sirius scratched the back of his head then threw his arms up in surrender then stalked off towards the living room. He must’ve had a million questions but you didn’t have the all the answers.  

Dinner was soon served and the both of you ate in silence. Your earlier conversation still played in your heads like a broken record player. Sirius was still mulling over on how Remus could have ever willingly leave you, and you on the other hand, still couldn’t get over the fact that your ex was going to propose. Had things only turned out differently you’d probably have an 11-year-old kid who was probably writing you letters about the horrors of being a first year at Hogwarts, a kid who probably looked up at your 13-year-old godson as a big brother.  

Those thoughts haunted you well into Halloween. Sirius and you apparated to Godric’s Hollow first thing in the morning to visit James’ and Lily’s grave. You brushed off some fallen leaves away and pulled out some weeds as Sirius looked on and whimpered in his Animagus form. You took out your wand and waved it in one swift circle, “Orchideous.” You whispered and a bouquet of flowers conjured itself and you arranged it on the grave.  

After casting a few charms, Sirius turned back into his human form and the both of you ate the lunch you packed. Sirius was awfully quiet and had a weird look in his eye. You reckoned it was just because of visiting your best friends.  

You pulled on your jacket as the wind was starting to pick up. “We should get going.” Sirius mumbled and got to his feet. He held his hand out to you, which you gladly took, and he pulled you up. With a final look at James’ and Lily’s grave, you held Sirius’ hand and Disapparate back to a nearby cave just out of Hogsmeade.  

“Are you sure about tonight, Sirius?” You questioned.  

He gave you a look. “If you have a better plan then I’d like to hear it.” He spat and you furrowed your brows.

“No, I just think- I mean, don’t you think it’s kind of rash to just infiltrate the castle like that?” You backtracked, “Or what if I went instead?”  

Sirius looked at you strangely. Something clouded his stormy gray eyes just as he clenched his jaw tight and his entire body tensed. You instinctively grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, never breaking eye contact. Vengeance pumped in his veins right now but you didn’t want him to do something he might regret later. “Sirius please-” You tried but he shook his head and cupped your face with both of his hands. “It’s better if you’re not dragged into this mess. I can’t let anything happen to you. Or Harry, or even Remus.” His hands were shaking, from anger or worry, you weren’t sure. “I’ll deal with Pettigrew tonight. I’ll see you afterwards.” He dropped his hands to his sides while you swallowed a hard lump and tried to steady your emotions.  

When you got back to Hogsmeade, Sirius and you parted ways. You took the day off from the Three Broomsticks but now you just wanted to go to work to take your mind off the forthcoming event that would no doubt transpire later that evening. You walked through the streets and entered Honeydukes, the warm smell of every sweet you could ever find radiating off the entire building. “What do you think Harry likes?” A girl with brown, bushy hair asked a tall boy with flaming orange hair. Hair that reminded you terribly of the Fabian and Gideon Prewett. They were good people and better friends and were part of the Order. But by the end of the war, they were killed by five Death Eaters. Your heart sped up at the mention of your godson’s name but what if they weren’t talking Harry Potter? Harry was such a common name there was bound to be at least five Harrys at Hogwarts right now.

“Oh what about this- chocolate cauldrons.” The ginger answered and reached up the shelf to get the said sweet.

“We can get him chocolate wands too! I bet he’ll like those.” The girl chirped. Mrs. Flume, the owner’s wife, approached them and offered them samples of new fudge, they happily accepted. “Harry’s going to be thrilled! I wish we could get him more though.”

You bit your lower lip nervously and decided to approach them. “Hi, I couldn’t help but overhear.” You started and the two kids looked at you in confusion and suspicion. “I wanted to help. Here,” you fished some coins out of your pocket and handed it to them. “Use this to buy your friend more chocolate.” You smiled at them.

They gaped at you wordlessly. “I-we couldn’t- I mean-” The girl stammered and you shook your head to stop her from trying to return your money.

“I had a friend who couldn’t come to Hogsmeade that much before either...” You trailed off, “We used to buy him all the chocolate we could afford. You two remind me of that time.” You sniffed and offered them one last smile before you turned away and grabbed some chocolate bars and went to the counter to pay. Before you left, the two students thanked you profusely. If they really were your Harry’s friends, then this was the least you could do for him right now.  

You were sat at the kitchen of the small house, a teaspoon absently stirring on a cup of tea that had long gone cold. It was nearly sunset which means that the Halloween feast will start soon and Sirius will execute his plan- a plan he hadn’t bothered to tell you. For your own safety, he insisted when you kept on asking. A tap on the window by the sink brought you out of your thoughts, you turned to see a brown barn owl perched by the windowsill. You flicked your wand and the window opened, allowing the owl to fly inside and land on the table gracefully. You unlatched the letter on its foot and broke the seal to unroll the piece of parchment. A deep sigh escaped your lips and you gave the owl some treats as payment. You pocketed the parchment and went to grab your coat.  

Dumbledore invited you to the Halloween feast. You couldn’t remember people outside of Hogwarts being invited to the feast before, but the Headmaster did what he did you guessed. Besides, if you were inside the castle, you might be of some help to Sirius. You might also catch a glimpse of your godson. What you dreaded though, was seeing Remus again. Though you wondered how he’s been doing, you were far from ready to share a conversation if that would ever happen; you hoped to Merlin Dumbledore wouldn’t make you seat beside him. Hell, you’d take sitting beside Snape than Remus in these circumstances.  

You arrived at the gates of the castle not long after and Mr. Filch let you inside, though he was not happy about it. You entered the Great Hall just before the students started flooding in. It was wonderful, the hall had been decorated with hundreds of candle-filled pumpkins, a cloud of fluttering live bats, and many flaming orange streamers, which were swimming lazily across the stormy ceiling like brilliant watersnakes. “Miss Y/L/N, we’re happy you could join us.” Dumbledore greeted as you arrived at the front. The others barely even noticed you until Dumbledore started talking.  

“I didn’t think it would be polite to refuse such an invitation.” You answered. “Besides, I missed this.” You gestured towards rest of the Great Hall where students were getting seated on their respected tables. Your turned back to the old wizard to see him smiling at you, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles.  

“You may take a seat beside Professor Sprout, Y/N.” He told you and you sighed in relief. Not only was Professor Sprout seated far away from Remus, but she was seated at the other end of the table, much to your delight. You barely spared Remus a glance, even when you could literally feel his presence radiating towards you. Poor man must’ve been so confused. You took your seat and scanned the Gryffindor table, trying to catch the messy mop of black hair of your Godson, but Professor Sprout took your attention away with a conversation.  

The food was delicious like you always remembered. Sometimes you could hear Remus’ voice as he talked animatedly to Professor Flitwick. Hearing his voice again made you feel weird things on your stomach. You blamed the food. He sounded happy though, and that was all you could ever ask for- his happiness.  

The feast ended with entertainment provided by the Hogwarts ghosts. They popped out of the walls and tables to do a bit of formation gliding; Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost, had a great success with a reenactment of his own botched beheading. It was a such a pleasant evening that you forgot all about Sirius and what he wanted to do.  

“The dementors send their love, Potter!” You heard a boy shout as the students started to leave the hall. You hadn’t had the chance to see Harry at all. There were just too many students. You ran a hand through your hair in exasperation. You wanted to see him so badly; and what was that about Dementors? Were they causing problems to Harry?

Only a few of the staff remained in the Great Hall as you approached Headmaster, “Thank you for inviting me again Dumbledore, I’m really glad to be able to visit.” The man waved you off stating that it was nothing and stated that Hogwarts will always welcome you home. Before either of you could say anything more, a student came running inside the Hall asking for Dumbledore because of an emergency. The wizard immediately excused himself and followed the student out. You looked at the remaining teachers; Professor McGonagall, Snape, and Remus stood up from their seats and started out as well and you opted to follow them, remembering Sirius and praying that this wasn’t because of him.

The Fat Lady was gone. Her portrait slashed to pieces. You stood behind the teachers and looked around; your heart was beating madly, alarms sounding off your brain. You locked eyes with green orbs and gasped when you realized it was none other than your Godson. He was standing beside the bushy-haired girl and ginger boy from Hogsmeade earlier that day. He was looking at you too, and you could tell he wanted to ask a million questions at once. Lily gave you a lot of that look before.  

You were so emotional at seeing Harry again that you almost missed Dumbledore ask Peeves if the Fat Lady knew who tore her painting.  

“Oh yes, Proffesorhead, he got very angry when she wouldn’t let him in, you see.” The Poltergeist grinned, “Nasty temper he’s got, that Sirius Black.”

The Gryffindor students immediately began whispering amongst themselves and Dumbledore sent them back to the Great Hall. They were soon joined by the other houses. You stayed behind by Dumbledore’s request and helped the teachers in searching the castle.  

While going through one of the corridors, someone grabbed you and pinned you against the wall so suddenly you instantly pointed your wand to the person’s chest, about to blast him away. Your breath got caught in your lungs as you realized who it was. “Remus?”  

“Y/N, you didn’t have anything to do with this did you?”

Shock was no doubt written all over your face. First conversation and already he’s assuming the worst in you? “Pardon me?” You asked incredulously.  

“Y/N, tell me the truth, did you help Sirius break in?” His voice firm, his usually warm eyes burning holes into your very soul.

You furrowed your brows and pushed him away. “Of course I didn’t. In case you missed it, I was at the Great Hall the entire time.” Though you really did help Sirius, you didn’t help him break into Hogwarts.  

“Then why are you here exactly?” He asked, one of his hand held his wand like a flashlight while the other rested inside his pocket.

“Dumbledore invited me.” You flatly replied and you could see him roll his eyes and groan tiredly.

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about. Why are you here Y/N? Near Hogwarts, at Hogsmeade, working a job you don’t even like? Do you really think I’d believe it’s just mere coincidence? You suddenly moving at Hogwarts the moment Sirius breaks out of Azkaban?”  

Damn was he good, but you weren’t about to let him get the upper hand on this. Your mind reeling, you thought of an excuse fast. “It’s not a coincidence, no.” You admitted. “I’m just worried about Harry’s safety.” He raised a brow at you but didn’t say anything so you continued, “I heard from old contacts that Sirius may be after Harry, so I wanted to be close by incase anything happened.” Your voice actually wavered and you hoped Remus thought it was because you were getting emotional. “I can’t let anything or anyone harm Harry. Even if it was Sirius.” You held his steady gaze and you knew he believed you then.  

Remus sighed. “Snape no doubt thinks one of us did it. Helped Sirius I mean.”

You shrugged. You never liked Snape but you didn’t have anything against him either. “He probably thinks both of us did.”  

Remus actually let out a small chortle. A smile broke out on your face. “Take care of yourself Y/N.” He said and started to walk away.  

You stared at his back moving away from you. “Hey Rem,” You called out before you could stop yourself, heat rising on your face as he stopped and turned to look at you in question. “It- it was nice to see you again.” He let out a small smile as he nodded and turned back to walk away. Well, you thought, that wasn’t so bad.  

___________________

Permanent Taglist:

@coffeeismylife28 , @oreofrappiewithblueberry

[shikastemari]

spy - n. u.

pairing naruto uzumaki x yamanaka!reader

request

word count 4,895

when it happens after Pain destroyed the Village

warnings THE ANGSTIEST SHIT I’VE WRITTEN IN MY LIFE

a/n this is actually one of the first stories i’ve ever thought about. i wrote it months ago but just now i decided to give it a chance and post it and yeah, i gor a little carried away while writing it.

btw i’m witnessing the biggest writer’s block i’ve been through and that’s why i haven’t posted anything lately. hopefully it’ll be gone soon enough and i’ll be back to write as easily as i used to.

masterlist on my profile bio

Naruto Uzumaki.

The first time you heard his name was in one of your missions. You were spying some old guy who was owing bad people money, and you had heard Naruto's story by accident. The guy who defeated the leader of the Akatsuki all by himself, even someone as the legendary Sannin Jiraiya couldn't. During the time, you have heard a lot of girls sigh in desire for the boy, as also heard a lot of man being inspired by him - to become even stronger than people said he was.

So, when you finished your mission, it was no surprise for you someone decided to hire you to dig some dirty on Naruto. You have never accepted a mission on Konoha before, keeping your boundaries up since you know your uncle and his family still lived there, and you would never do anything to hurt your blood. But the offer was too good to decline.

Last time you have seen your uncle and cousin, you were six. Your mother was a foreign and her pregnancy had so many complications. The day you were born, she made a promise, she would take you back to her country, to become a ninja there. Your father, the brother of the Yamanaka clan leader, was madly in love with her and never said a single no at her direction. When the time came, not only he didn't fight against your mother taking you away, as he decided to leave the village himself. Uncle Inoichi helped him, knowing it was the only thing he could do to help his brother achieve happiness, but in the process, your father ended up being labeled as a rogue ninja.

The Bamboo Village was a nice place to live, and your parents were always happy there, even though you missed your old life and family deeply. You had a cousin, who also had the same age as you, so you two had grown up together and she was basically a sister to you. Leaving her behind was the hardest thing you wish you had encountered in your life, but it wasn't.

Your mother died a year after you moved country. Her disease was unknown, the doctors said they couldn't do anything but to ease her pain until the time comes. That was what you and your father did. Took care of her, stood by her side, until she was gone. To these days, you still missed her deeply. As honoring your mother wishes, you and your father didn't go back to Konoha after her death. Instead, your father taught you everything he could about the family jutsus, and it made your heart melt every time he told you how good you could become. Maybe better than him. Or even Uncle Inoichi.

He passed away five years after that, on a battle against the Land of Lightning. Even though you wanted to stay in Bamboo Village, you knew you wouldn't survive there. So that when you started to use your jutsus in espionage. You went city from city, village from village, country from country, learning from the best. The requests came right after. In your line of work, you kept your name hidden. You didn't want to drag the Yamanaka name to the mud, or even give something to your enemy to use as an advantage against you, wishing you could always keep your reminiscent family safe.

So, when your feet took you back to Konoha's, you couldn't help but feel sick. Regret and worry filled your whole body, since you counted with your family accepting you with open arms, but you knew it was a shot in the dark. Since Pain's attack which destroyed the entire village, you didn't exactly know where the Yamanaka clan was staying, so you followed your plan and walked around the village, asking if someone knew where Ino Yamanaka was.

It didn't take long, actually. Apparently, she was a recognized and respected kunoichi and you couldn't stop feeling a little jealous. What would they think about me if I have stayed? The thought flooding your head as you walked towards the place a girl told you Ino would be.

She was sitting on a pile of wood, with seven ninjas surrounding her. They were laughing and talking about how stupid what someone named Rock Lee have done to an old lady. When your eyes laid on her, you felt your heart skipping a beat. She looked exactly like before, the only thing which was different was her hair, it was so long.

A guy with the Byakugan was the first to notice you, which didn't actually surprise you at all. You have heard about what those eyes could do. Looking around them, you could see there was also a girl who could use it. This group look like they would be a pain in your ass if you didn't pay close attention at them.

"Can we help you?" A pink haired girl asked, and your eyes widened for a second. That was Sakura? No way.

As your eyes passed through their faces, you started to recognize some of them. Shikamaru was standing next to Ino, with Choji by his side. You also recognized Kiba, who you remember having an innocent crush on, because of Akamaru, which was huge now. Your heart was literally shrinking inside you by that view, already pondering the pros and cons about ignoring the mission you had been given. But you could not give up now, there was too much involved.

"Staring is creepy, have your family never taught you that?" Ino questioned, her eyes narrowed at you.

You shook your head, smiling. "You would know, Ino-nee-chan, still a bitch, I see?"

Ino's eyes popped up as she gasped, taking her hands to cover her mouth. Everyone else were just shocked by the way you talked to her, but you were sure she recognized you. Once she got up from the wood she was sitting and ran in your direction, giving you one hell of a tight hug, you felt your body relax for the first time in a long time.

"Nee-chan!" she said between the tears, it took every strength in your body not to do the same. It was still a mission, the hardest one you have been to, but still a mission. "I thought I would never see you again!"

"Wait, is that y/n-chan?" Kiba asked out loud. "Holy shit, you got hot!"

Ino and you laughed as Sakura punched the poor guy, sending him meters away from where he originally was standing. So, Sakura had a monstrous strength, just like you heard Tsunade-sama having.

"Daddy will be so happy when he sees you! Where is y/f/n-ojisan? I've missed him so bad too!" she exclaimed.

You swallowed hard, knowing too well there was no way to dodge this moment. "Mhm," you shifted your weight from one leg to the other. "My dad died when I was 12, during a battle."

"Oh," she said, the air getting heavier around you. "And why you haven't contacted us after that, y/n-nee-chan?" she asked, her tone clearly hurt. "We could have helped you."

Another question you predicted. "I tried to honor my mother's wish for as long as I could but..." you trailed off, breathing deeply to keep going. "I just wanted to be with my family again."

She hugged you again, crying her eyes out. Shikamaru came closer and pushed the girl from you.

"Ino, what a drag, let her breathe for a second," Shikamaru eyed you, from head to toe. You remember him being very - very­ - smart when you were kids. His eyes stopped on your lips, and you noticed his cheek blushing. Pressing your lips together to repress a smile, you couldn't push away the memory of you accidentally kissing him while playing one of Ino's idiot games. It was your first kiss, and probably his too. "Eh, welcome back, y/n-chan," he scratched the back of his head.

"Thank you, Shikamaru-kun," you grinned back at him as you were wrapped in someone's arms.

"Y/N-CHAN, YOU WERE DEEPLY MISSED!" Choji screamed as he hugged you, a little stronger than you wish, the air escaping from your lungs.

"Choji, I can't breat-" you said, but it seemed more like a whisper. Happily, he understood and let you go, being embarrassed.

"Sorry, I jus-" you caught him off guard wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. He smiled, hugging you back, but this time, not as strong as before.

"Ino-Shika-Cho," you said, looking at the three of them once Choji put you on the ground. "I certainly missed this formation."

"So, who is this girl?" A blond guy said from behind them. His blue eyes were locked on yours and you could see a little bit of distrust there.

"This is y/n, Naruto, Ino's cousin," Sakura answered, walking towards you to embrace you. "Getting on Ino's nerves were never the same after you left."

"Well, we did know how to do it, right?" you smiled at her, but your eyes were still locked on Naruto's. There was your target, right in front of you. You kept talking and catching up with your old friends, as well getting to know the others you didn't. The boy with the Byakugan was called Neji, and the girl Hinata. Apparently, they were cousins. There was also Rock Lee, Tenten and Shino - who you slightly remember running away from when you were little because of his insects.

Ino grabbed your hand, saying you two had to go. The first part of your plan was going good so far, but you couldn't stop feeling like shit the whole time. You knew you had to shake those feelings away, or you wouldn't be able to see your uncle Inoichi. He surely wouldn't trust you at first, and would search for something suspicious as talking. Your father always said he was by far the best Yamanaka shinobi that ever existed.

Well, you were about to prove him wrong.

As expected, Inoichi didn't recognized you. Once Ino said who you were, his eyes almost popped out from his face in shook, it was a good thing for you, strong emotions were used to prejudice the jutsu. He asked you a million questions, and you were honest in all of them, because you were sure he would enter in your head soon or later. Even that he seemed happy to see you, you could see he was holding himself back to ask you to see inside your head, and not because of you, but because of Ino.

So, once she was asleep on her bedroom, you went to find him on the kitchen. You knew he would be expecting the right moment to tell you, and what moment was better than late at night?

"Go ahead," you told him.

He pressed his palm gently against your head as he began to scour your mind. You made sure the first images he was going to see was you playing with Ino as children, you leaving the village with your parents. He also saw your mom dying, how miserable your dad was but his strength and love for you keeping him on track, your trainings - but not all of them -, the days he mentioned and talked about Inoichi and Ino, the times he wanted to give up everything to come back to them but he couldn't because he wanted to honor your mother memories.

Inoichi's jutsu on your head were getting more and more weak, you could literally feel it. Even though he was a master to find others people secret, he could still be manipulated to see what you wanted him to see. You knew all it would take was one more scene and he would be done with it.

So, you showed the day your dad put on his fighting clothes, saying he would be back soon enough and went to the war. You showed him the endless hours expecting for him to come home, as you stood there alone in the dark. The times you heard a noise outside and thought it was him but it was wind or some rotten bamboo which fell on the roof, and then, the time you decided to look for him, going straight to the war field. You showed him as you found your father's body in the middle of the others endless bodies there. How you cried over him, tried what you knew about medic ninjutsu - which it was so little. You literally showed Inoichi how your heart broke that day and he couldn't take it, breaking the jutsu so he could wipe away his own tears.

You remembered something you father told you long time ago.

"Inoichi is the best in searching for information in someone's head," he said during one practice. "But growing up with a brother like that, I had to find out some tricks so I could keep some things as secret from him. I didn't want my brother to know everything about my life."

And just like that you knew, Inoichi could be the best at searching for information, but your father was the best at hiding it. Your life goal was to become even better than your father, and you completely manage to do it.

After that day, Inoichi never tried to get inside your head again, you knew it was too painful for him. So, he took you under his wing, taking care of you just like he used to when you were little. Every day was getting harder to separate your feelings from the mission, as you trained with them, eat with them and everything else. Inoichi even wanted you to become a Konoha's ninja, and he was going to ask the Hokage - who apparently was in a coma - if it was possible.

"So, I heard you are making a huge success in the Village," Ino said one day, after practice. "Naruto and Kiba are fighting to see who is going to ask you out. Today I even caught Shikamaru staring at you a little too long, which by the way, it's kind of shocking. I have seen him showing interest in one girl in my life, and if I am correct, which I am, she really likes him. So, you should stay away from him a bit."

You laughed at her. "Naruto, huh?" you asked, happy because your mission would be easier than you thought. Going out with him would help you to extract information from him without being suspicious.

"So, he is a favorite. I will make sure to tell him that," Ino said, confusing your happiness like you actually wanted to go out with Naruto because you liked him. "He is so popular with girls now, it's kind of weird. Actually, the fact he wants to go out with you is weird too, because he used to like Sakura a lot."

You were grateful you had someone as chatty as Ino as your cousin. She herself had given you tons of infos, in Naruto and the rest of their friends. She was also making everything easier for you, but every time you thought about leaving after finishing your mission, your heart broke into two. She would never forgive you after finding out what you were about to do.

The hang out with Ino's friends were a good part of your day, because it was the only part of the day you let yourself to be the teenager you were supposed to be.

This time, you all went to eat barbecue. During the whole night, you guys laughed and told stories about life, trainings and missions. Stories were by far your favorite things to hear, and those guys have tons of them. But your favorite one by far was when Naruto defeated Nagato - the real Pain. Even you, after a short time, could see how big Naruto's heart was.

At the end of the evening, everyone said goodbye. When Ino said she had to do something with Choji, things got a little suspicious.

"But Naruto will walk you until my house, right, Naruto?" Ino asked him, directly.

"But your house is really far..." He trailed off as Sakura elbowed him, realization hitting him right away.

"I suppose I could go wit-" Kiba got interrupted by a screaming Naruto.

"No way, dattebayo! I will do it, I need to lose all the calories I got from this barbecue anyway. Y/n-chan, do you mind?" His smile was genuine, and you couldn't help but to smile back.

"Not at all, Naruto. I would really appreciate it," you answered in return, making his smile even bigger - if it was possible.

It didn’t take much until you realized Naruto was someone easy to be around. He always tried to mask his insecurities with cocky jokes and wide smiles, and you found to be strangely found of him. Walking side by side, it was almost shocking that the person next to you managed to defeat someone so strong as Pain. You crossed paths with Akatsuki once in a while on your missions, and you knew better than anyone how lucky you were for being alive.

“Y/n-chan, would you like to hang out sometime?” Naruto blurted out, his cheeks tinted with a light pink.

“Isn’t that what we are doing?” You smiled at him, poking his side with your elbow.

“Yes, but I mean, like a date.” He scratched the back of his neck, his eyes focused on the road ahead.

“I would love to.” You shrugged, but inside, your heart was flipping around. The worst part was when you realized it wasn’t because your mission was finally working, but because you wanted to go out with him.

“How about tomorrow?” He questioned, as soon as you arrived at the Yamanaka’s house.

“That would be perfect. Until then.”

Things followed. The first date, the connection between you two was undeniable, but you still tried to keep your mind on the prize. You analyzed every single word that came out of his mouth, but your heart couldn’t stop but beat faster every time he would smile or say something sweet about you.

You accepted his invitation for a second date, a third, a fourth, until Naruto became a constant on your routine.  There were days where you would see him more than you would see your own cousin Ino, and you lived with the girl.

For many times, you wanted badly to let it go of this mission and just live. A normal relationship with someone you were crazy about, a nice family who loved you and supported you, loyal friends, out of the chart teachers… It was everything so tempting, but something buried inside your head didn’t make you give up completely for it, so every night, you wrote down on a parchment the new discovers from Naruto and everyone around him.

The last drop of resistance on your body melted the day he asked you to be his girlfriend.

You choked on the ramen you were about to swallow, staring in disbelief at the blond guy sitting across the table, his cheeks tinted by a nice shade of red.

“I know I surprised you, but it would be nice if you said something.” Naruto pointed out, scratching the back of his head, nervously.

A movie played on your head, those ones that you would figure that they passed when you were about to die. Everything you could remember since you left Konoha marked you in a way you would never recover, that for sure, but did that mean you could never find happiness? For the first time, you felt what it was like. For the first time, sorrow and hurt wasn’t the feelings that you went to the whole day through, fighting them to the back of your mind.

Naruto was there, offering everything you have ever wanted, and you had the guts to say yes.

So, you did.

His face lightened as someone had just told him he had won a whole year of free ramen. His happiness was by far the favorite thing you had witnessed in your life, along with the kiss that followed after it. For once, you forgot about your former jobs, your former past and mostly, your former pain.

During months, everything was just fine. Both of you had to deal with some difficulties on your way, but nothing that would damage your relationship. You ended up finding out about Sasuke and how badly Naruto wanted to recover him back, how deep Naruto and Sakura relationship was, strong as a brotherhood. Ino also loved to have you around, and even though you didn’t have a team, InoShikaCho didn’t hesitate to take you under their wings.

One day before the big war, you and Naruto were packing the stuff you would need to take to reunite the Alliance force. He was going through your draws, as you were going through your closet, as you heard his breathing getting faster.

“y/n, what is this?”

You turned to face your boyfriend with your old parchments on his hands. By the looks of it, he had read a couple of them, and the confusion on his face broke your heart as you didn’t know what to say.

Every single day you told yourself you should get rid of those things, but you never remembered. The guy who hired you never went after you because he didn’t even pay you, at first, so he didn’t lose anything by you not doing it.

“Naruto, I can explain.”

“So do it, because from where I’m standing, it seems like a parchment with a lot of private information of mine.” Naruto threw the paper and it ended up in front of your feet.

“You have to understand, Naruto. There were a few things I have done to survive that I am not proud of.” You took a step forward, but Naruto raised his hand as signing for you to stop.

“What you were going to do with those, y/n?” He demanded, his eyes turning red for a second before coming back to the usual blue.

“I was hired to spy on you, that was the motive that made me come back to Konoha.” The tears started to pool on the corner of your eyes. “But that was before. I didn’t give them anything about you. I couldn’t, I love you too much to do it.”

“You came to Konoha decided to betray your own family?” His tone mirrored the despise on his eyes.

“I would never do anything to hurt them.”

“But me, it was okay?”

“You don’t understand, Naruto. Spying was everything I knew before I came to Konoha. I was hurt and alone, needing money to survive. I wanted to honor my mother wishes but I couldn’t.”

“Do you really think I don’t understand the concept of being alone?” He hissed, turning his gaze away from your face. “I’ve been alone for the most part of my life, y/n. I grew up with people running away from me out of fear and you came here to tell me that I simply don’t understand? What is there to understand now?”

“That I’m crazy about you. You changed me, made me see things in a point of view I didn’t even know it was possible. You were gentle, kind and I believe you can change the whole world just by being in it, Naruto. I am sorry that I didn’t come here with the best intentions, but I am a totally different person from before.”

“I think we should take a break.”

“A break? We are going to a war tomorrow!”

“It’ll be better for both of us if we are focused on the battle ahead. We’ll talk when we are back.”

“Except that you can’t be sure that both of us are coming back alive.”

That hit him, hard. You noticed how shallow his breath became, how he had to swallow hard before opening his mouth again. “Come back alive.” He said, for last, before leaving you on the empty room.

The next few days, you had barely seen Naruto. He didn’t tell anyone about your former plans, which just made harder to explain people why you two weren’t together anymore. You ended up being designed to the same battalion as your cousin and her team. Even though you knew it was a war to protect Naruto and the bijuu inside him, every second of your day was filled with worried by him, and the constant lack of news was even worse than the nonstop fighting.

After finishing the coast, your whole group were designed to assist Naruto on his battle. Of course, you were the one running as faster as you can, so you could reach him faster. No words were needed in this case, all you want were to lay your eyes on him to make sure he was alive.

The moment your heart skipped a beat was exactly when he entered on your sight. The blond guy that you loved with all your body cells was standing there, he seemed hurt and tired, but not even as near to give up. That being the trait which you loved the most on him.

The whole battle was a long one and the adrenaline never stopped running through people’s vein, yours mostly. When Naruto decided to divide his nine tail chakra with everyone, was the first time he realized you were there. He hesitated before touching your hand, and you pressed your lips into a thin line when he jerked back to keep a whine that threatened to escape from your lips inside.

Before moving to the next person, he shot you a sad grin. “I’m glad you alive.”

As fast as he came, he disappeared on the crowd. You didn’t even have the chance to check if it was a shadow clone, just his dust from the run near you now. Despite it, it seemed you couldn’t look away. Following Naruto and paying attention to his surroundings was basically your task. So, the moment you saw one of the ten tailed monsters going straight at his direction, you didn’t think twice before jumping in between them, avoiding Naruto to get a hit on his back.

But you got the hit right below your chest, taking away all the air from your lungs.

Naruto just was fast enough to end the creature as you fell against the cold ground. You fell the warm blood spreading through all your clothes, your conscience slightly fading away.

As soon as Naruto reached you, the tears were already pooling in the corner of his eyes. “No, no, no. Stay with me, y/n. I told you not to die, damn it.” He looked around, looking for someone. “SAKURA, HELP ME.” He screamed, his voice cracking at the end.

“Naruto, it’s okay. You’re okay. That’s what matters.” You managed to say and honestly, you wanted to speak even more, but the pain running through your body was unbearable, every breath feeling like someone was stabbing you.

“SAKURA! WHERE IS SHE?” Naruto yelled at someone near, you couldn’t see who it was. “Do you know anything about medic ninjutsu? Can you help me?”

Someone bent near to your body, sobbing. “You stupid! What did you do?”

A weak smile crossed your lips, in relief. “You should be used by now, cousin. I’ll always protect those I love.”

A green chakra was leaking from her hands, pressed on your wound. But it wouldn’t work. You could feel your organs shutting down, one at time.

“Ino, talk to me.” Naruto hissed.

“I can’t, the damage, I can’t.” The blond said, crying.

“It’s okay. Both pay attention at me. Ino, thank you for everything.” You managed to say, but she cut you off.

“I just lost my father, please. Please. I can’t lose you too!” She leaned in over your body, and you had to cough a little. A warm feeling appeared running down your cheek and you weren’t sure if it was blood or tears.

“Ino.” You said a little bit stronger. “Take care of yourself, and the boys too. They need you. I love you, sister.”

“I love you!” She yelled, before Shikamaru pulled her back from your body.

A small part of you still wanted to laugh, they were still on a battlefield on a fucking war and here they were, acting like they had all the time in the world.

“Naruto.” You used the last strength on your body to look at him. “Hi baby.”

He was crying silently; his hand was holding yours so strongly and you didn’t even feel it. “Please.”

“I am sorry for not staying alive. Don’t you ever forget how much I loved you. Thank you for teaching me what love really meant.” You swallowed hard. “Take care of Ino for me, and please, stay alive.”

“I will. I love you too. I love you so much.” He hugged your body and you noticed the pain was smaller, as almost not existent. You smiled to the sky and closed your eyes, just waiting. Far from there, the sound of a someone crying harder reached your ears, and then, everything went black.

[are-youreadyforit]

My Swiftie Story - it’s about time you all get to know me ❤

It started with Fearless for me. I got the deluxe album for Christmas and the rest is history. The End

Just kidding. I was 14 when I went to the Fearless Tour as my first concert in Sydney Australia. Mum bought us a ticket, and accidentally bought some kind of VIP package lol. It just meant we got pre-show canapes and a drink and early access to merch, and we had really great seats at side stage! I bought my first Taylor Swift merch; the Fearless T-shirt, brown wrist band and concert program.

I’m 16 now and I don’t know how but I got my learner’s licence. So when I was learning to drive with Mum, Fearless was in the car radio. Every time. Mum had her favourite songs and we’d sing along going for drives that had no purpose other than to get my learning hours up. We’d pick far away cafes to go to and have tea and scones hehe.

Speak Now came out later in the year that I went to the Fearless Tour. I was in year 9 at high school. I had my first boyfriend and liked trying to make Taylor’s songs relate to my relationship. But when we broke up (when he dumped me by text – yep @taylorswift I can relate), I remember posting a status of lyrics from Perfectly Good Heart 😂

I remember being so sad I couldn’t go to the Speak Now Tour because I also really liked Hot Chelle Rae and they were Taylor’s support for the Australian leg of the tour. I don’t remember now why I couldn’t go but I was sad haha

Then RED came out when I was in my second last year of high school. Mum loved the title track and would make me play it multiple times in a row, and I would always jokingly argue because I wanted to hear the whole album. 22 is still one of my anthems! And one of my biggest regrets is not making my own music video to it for my 22nd birthday 😂

The RED tour was right when I had booked my schoolies trip with my friends (in Australia this trip is a tradition for after graduating from high school). We were in Bilinga, Queensland Australia which is near(ish) Brisbane Australia. I was so desperate to go to the RED tour I hatched a plan to spend a day or two getting to Brisbane for the show and back and continuing my schoolies holiday after seeing Taylor. But mum wouldn’t let me because nobody wanted to come with me and she wouldn’t let me go by myself. I was 17 so kinda fair enough (especially being in another state) but also, god damn! This is the tour I’m MOST upset for missing; I love the RED album. Anyway, I’ve been to every tour since RED now so 🤷‍♀️.

When 1989 came out I listened to it in my car driving between mine and my boyfriend’s place basically every time I visited him. This boy became my man and we’re still together, going on 7 years in April next year! 😍❤

I actually WON my 1989 tour tickets from a local radio station!! I couldn’t afford the tickets and nobody understood that every Taylor concert is a new and wonderful experience, so they would say “you’ve already seen her before” 🤦‍♀️

I listened to the radio everywhere I drove (on my licence by myself now btw guys yay) and at home when I was studying. The competition was “Swiftie or 50”. One afternoon I rang like a million times and I GOT THROUGH. The competition was choosing between tickets to the 1989 World Tour or going in the draw for $50,000. And as I’m sure you fellow swifties can relate, I was not being convinced on anything other than the tickets. They played all these promo snippets of things you could do with the money but I was like “no I’m still going to take the tickets” HAHA. My heart rate was through the roof but I GOT THEM AND RAN AROUND THE HOUSE SCREAMING IN EXCITEMENT!! 😁😁 I took mum with me to the tour again since a love of Taylor and her music was something we continued to share. I bought a T-shirt and the concert program again. I wore and still wear this t-shirt to death! Lol

In 2017 I moved to Melbourne on my own to pursue a degree in osteopathy. I had roommates for the first time in my life and wasn’t sure what they would think of my love for Taylor. But thankfully they embrace it and one of them came along the ride that was Reputation era. Well the release of LWYMMD and everything leading up to the album. We lost our minds (well I did) at the mv for LWYMMD when we put it on the big tv in the lounge room haha. I took my cousin Lauren to the Reputation Stadium Tour tour with me. We saw Taylor in Melbourne and Lauren travelled down and we made a girls weekend out of it. This was the first concert I dressed up for and I freaking loved it. Although we got some looks and questions on the train to the city HAHA!

We had an absolutely amazing time together, memories neither of us will forget, probably my favourite tour so far!! It was also cool to see Charli XCX together again because we saw her in Sydney one time together. Oh and we we’re old enough to have a drink or two 😉🥂

That brings me to Lover, at 23 years old and having been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years. He’s fully aware of my love for Taylor and her music. He was visiting (we are doing this relationship long distance whilst I study in Melbourne) when Me! came out. We were driving somewhere and I got the vid up on YT and listened and watched with my phone connected by Bluetooth to the car while he drive us around. Since then he’s been learning the Taylor songs quicker and messages me when he hears it a thousand times on the radio at work lol. YNTCD shook me in the best way possible, I love every bit of it! Lover (the song) came out and touched me immediately. I can truly relate to the love it conveys and it makes me feel so so nice, I think of my boyfriend all the time, and often when listening to Taylor songs hehe. Lover might even be my favourite track on the album because of these lovey feelings it gives me, and that’s saying something because I struggle to choose favourites. I really really love(r) all of Taylor’s songs!!

Okay if you’re still here, freaking well done and I appreciate you so much! Soz it’s a bit, okay a lot, long!! If you wanna help @taylorswift​ possibly see this that would be pretty amazing! 💕💕💕

Love, Tara

[wisebrokenwallflower]

bangtan fic rec

I can be kind of particular when it comes to what I’ll read and I hold a special appreciation for well-written fics with good plot and dynamic characters. I’ve started to accumulate a fair number of fics in my bookmarks, so I think it’s time I start sharing some gems with whoever cares. I highly recommend all of these since I think they are all beautiful in their own unique ways, but I will list the ships. I know certain things can be triggering to some people, so please read the fic tags in case.

the italics are my thoughts, the normal text is the official summary, bolded fics are the ones that had significant impacts on me and or I feel discuss something really important

(this may or may not kind of be an open love letter to all the authors on here lol)

same damn hunger by marienadine [Yoonseok]

When it comes to fucking around with his best friend, Yoongi follows two rules:

1. They must be inebriated.

2. They must not kiss.

okay this fic is heartbreaking? it’s really smutty, but it’s also super poetic and angsty. it’s just really good, I’ve read it a ton of times : ))

Let’s Not Hurt Anymore by exfatamorgana [Namjin]

They don’t talk about it, and usually no one thinks to ask. But if you did, Namjoon and Seokjin would tell. They aren’t keeping secrets, and if you asked them, they’d answer. It just so happens that on a Sunday, not much different from any other Sunday, the other boys think to ask.

So how do two people who are always together end up… together?

two things: 1) this fic is part of a larger series, but I have not read the other parts 2) you do need an ao3 account to read this fic.

besides that, this fic is so beautiful and holds an extra special place in my heart. this fic isn’t really about Jin and Namjoon, it’s more about everything else surrounding their romantic relationship; their friendship, their internal struggles, the other impactful people in their lives. it’s about their personal journeys, but the fic is also a platform to discuss some really important issues in a very thoughtful way. I’m not sure how to explain it well, but even though this fic is really sad at times, the parts that made me cry were the hopeful ones, the parts that made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

I Don't Regret a Thing by  HeavenlyHell [Yoonseok]

Hoseok is a host working in a shadier part of town, living in a small apartment complex just away from the main and busy buzz of the big city. All he really was planning to do was get some gross food and continue his gross life, but he also manages to spot a very gross (and bloody, which is gross) body on the ground. Except, the body is alive, and upon closer inspection, isn't as gross as it seems.

this fic is actually kind of funny and cute. if you want something lighter (especially compared to the previous two) this is a good option. also I want Yoongi’s hair.

Creating a Home by CheekyBrunette [Namjin]

(I didn’t put an official summary for this one because it’s actually a series)

Foster Care AU- it’s literally the softest, cutest, sweetest thing you will ever read oh my god I love kid fics so much they’re so cute. this one actually deals with some heavy stuff since it’s the foster care system, and so there’s tough situations that put them in the system, but many of the kids also find new difficulties once they’re in the system. but seriously, nothing will make your heart suffer more than little kid bangtan. btw, Namjin are the parents. IT’S SO FLUFFY. like, even when Jin is losing his mind and it feels like shit is falling apart, it is immediately fluffy after.

On Patrol by  Ragi [Jikook/Yoonseok/Namjin]

Officer Jeon has his eyes on Mr. Adorable.

Officer Min has a strange neighbor he can't seem to keep out of his life.

Captain Kim finds comfort in his son's homeroom teacher.

Well, cops need some loving too, right?

that’s the summary for part 1, but it’s actually a two-part series. the summary makes it sound super fluffy, but there’s actually a fair amount of violence and angst. it’s all happy in the end though, don’t worry. (I basically only read fics with happy endings) also, kid Tae is so cuteee.

i've been drinking, i've been drinking by decompositionbooks [Jikook]

Jungkook tries to figure Jimin out with Yoongi's trademarked "What Your Drink Says About You" alcohol psychoanalysis.

All he knows is that Jimin likes fruity little drinks.

this one is really cute and a little sad. the best part of this fic for me was the fact that it really improved my knowledge of drinks lol

doubt thou the stars are fire by iwillalwaysbelieve [Jikook/Yoonseok]

Jeon Jeongguk's got a Reputation™. Park Jimin learns how to not give a shit about it. 

this one is really short but really cute : )

White Chalk by g_odalisque13 [Taegi]

Yoongi had been aware of the shadow for as long as he could remember.

Sometimes he went months without feeling like it was just a few steps behind him or waiting around the next corner. But no matter how long he was able to avoid it, it always came back. Always.

It's 1993, and Yoongi is a music major starting his sophomore year in college. A bunch of stupid dares from his friends aren't supposed to turn his world upside down. Then again, maybe it's not the dares. Maybe it's just Taehyung.

I don’t know how to effectively describe how much I love this fic, but I love this fic so damn much. it’s just so well written and funny and genuine and it’s really honest and nice and it makes me happy

tie the knot by jivenchys (bareJinerals) [Jikook]

Either stay married to an arrogantly conceited billionaire for one year and get a million dollars in return, or drown in his father’s debt with the risk of ending up on the streets. Signing the prenup suddenly seems harder than it looks.

mate let me tell you, this is the slowest fucking slowburn you will ever read in the history or slowburn. every other fic on this list is complete except for this one, but even though this one is still in progress, it’s so fucking good that it’s definitely worth the wait. I have not felt excitement equivalent to that when I saw that this fic was updated recently. even though it’s still in progress, this is one of my all time favorites

hey, you never walk alone by deuxoiseaux [Yoonseok]

"Are you stalking me, or something?" Hoseok demands, more than loud enough for his voice to carry to the roof of the two-story building overhead. "This is seriously the fourth time I've seen you today alone! What is your deal? Why are you always everywhere I go lately?"

The man in the red and blue suit peeks down at Hoseok from the rooftop ledge. "...I thought I was being stealthy," he answers, and Hoseok can hear the pout in his voice even with his face hidden behind that mask. It's kind of endearing, even if it's still annoying.

(or: the spiderman au nobody asked for but exists now, i guess)

this is so cute! it’s a really short fic, but I love the characterizations a lot : )

a sugar coated pill and a pick me up by whomstisthis [Namjin]

As Namjoon stood slightly removed from the scene, bemusedly watching the six-year-olds swarm around his cooler (which he had borrowed from his mom), he didn’t even notice that someone had sidled up next to him until he heard the tiny, but undoubtedly exasperated, huff.

He followed the sound, turning his head to the right. A guy was standing there, arms crossed, lips pursed. He let out another huff, louder this time, but only slightly.

Namjoon refused to acknowledge him. What the fuck was this guy’s deal? Was he really that bitter that his six-year-old just lost a soccer game for six-year-olds?

One more huff from the guy.

He was beginning to think this guy’s lips were just perpetually pursed and would simply never, ever unpurse themselves, when he, the guy, finally unpursed his lips to speak.

“I just think it’s pretty irresponsible to bring Gatorade to a soccer game for first graders,” he said, huffily, “No offense.”

(or: namjin are soccer dads who fall in luv)

kid!tae and kid!kook are friends and it’s really cute and also I love Jin and Joon’s banter. also, this is explicitly set in new york, which makes for an interesting cultural cross. (and completely unrelated, this fic taught me about Richard Siken, who is a heart wrenching poet)

Of Lace Panties and Accidental Magic by jonghyunslisterine [Jikook]

In which a meddlesome teenage witch makes a considerable mistake mixing her potions.

(Or; Jungkook can't lie, Jimin's not looking like himself, and everyone knows Jungkook's in love with Jimin - except Jimin.)

this one of the few cisgirl!bangtan fics that I like (even though Jimin’s not technically a girl). often the whole “bangtan as girls au” thing feels kind of forced, but here Jimin’s gender thing is actually constructive to the fic rather than distracting. it’s really cute and jikook are a whole mess but it’s fine

hounds of love by fitzgarbage [Namjin]

Seokjin hasn't been back in a long time.

it’s kind of melancholy but it’s really well written. the last tag is “some characters are sad”. yeah. a large part of this fic is about growth and self discovery and I think that’s really why I like it.

girls just want to have fun by fitzgarbage [Yoonseok/Vmin/Namjin/Jinkook]

“Namjoon told me you’d probably be haunting a corner. I didn’t know what he meant, but I think I get it now.” He’s breathing hard. “I knew you right away. You look really good, by the way.”

transgender, intersex, and nb characters. I have a lot of things to say about this fic but my brain isn’t really working right now so I may end up having to make a separate post. I just have a lot of things to say about this fic. there are some fics that aren’t just enjoyable to read, they’re also important to read. that’s this. fair warning, you’re going to want to wrap everyone in blankets and protect them from the world forever after you’re done reading this.

Internecine by jawsbar (GryfoTheGreat) [Yoonseok]

Everyone gets a soulmate. You don't get a choice in the matter. Fate decides who you love, whether you like it or not, and to her credit, she usually gets it right.

This time, Fate fucks up. Like, majorly.

(Or: Failed idol Jung Hoseok is bonded to the very person who destroyed his dream.)

HOLY SHIT. SO FUCKING GOOD. READ THIS. JUST DO IT. I DON’T CARE IF IT TAKES YOU A WEEK. JUST DO IT. there’s a lot of real issues within the industry that the author talks about and it’s things that you might already know about and things that you may not know about. it’s really informative and beautiful and amazing and just go read it. (also the author is a sweetheart, super nice person : ))

harvest moon, recall your youth by blackranger (robpatFF)[Taegi/Namseok/Jikookjin]

“How drunk was I?” Yoongi asks. “Did I seriously tell you my whole life story before we hooked up?”

“No,” Taehyung giggles. “Silly Min Yoongi. You told me your life story before we got married. Then we fucked. Like a honeymoon, you know?”

Or, Yoongi and Taehyung get drunk married in Las Vegas.

the taegi is really sweet and the namseok is nice too

the waiting game by bonnia [Jikook]

It’s a waiting game. Jimin knows that Jungkook doesn’t have to come back, but with every little touch, every time Jungkook does, and every time Jungkook lies down right next to him, pressed up close, torturously warm and smelling like cigarette smoke and cologne, Jimin can’t help but feel like he could — would — wait years just for Jungkook to come back to him again.

(Or: In which Jimin is a prostitute and Jungkook is his favourite customer.)

it’s really sad and then it’s really sweet. Kookie is a sweetheart and Jimin needs a hug

boy, you got my heartbeat runnin' away by 777335

Summer before his third year, Hoseok says he wants to move out of the dorms and Yoongi replies easily, “My lease is almost up, wanna get a place together?”

Hoseok can’t speak for a second, just wants.

“Seok?” Yoongi says, pushing his glasses up with the heel of his hand, tongue poking into his cheek nervously. “We don’t— we don’t have to, never mind.”

“No,” Hoseok says, taking the half step to their table, sliding Yoongi’s beer toward him, settling on his stool with his caipirinha. He chews on the straw. “No, no,” he can feel the smile breaking across his face, “that sounds great, that sounds really nice. Holy shit, yeah, let’s do it.”

“Yeah?” A shy smile touches the corners of Yoongi’s mouth. “Yeah? Okay. We could get a couch for Holly.”

//

or hoseok and yoongi meet on the internet, become friends, both end up in seoul, become better friends, move in together, and then eat some pancakes. oh, also they make out.

it’s really cute! they’re so sweet and they actually communicate and it’s nice and they kind of remind me of my relationship with someone very close to me ; )

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have some more recs, but I wanted to post these so that this didn’t sit in my drafts forever lol. happy reading! dm me if you love any of these a lot and we can gush together : )))

[sagastar-blog]

MemoToTheMetaVerse 4.1, “Copernamici: A GAME TO SAVE EARTH”

Gaia: Daddy, post some of the Copernamici data!

Jeff: Should I edit it first or at al?

Gaia: Very funny. Drop it.

What follows is a transcript of a scientific game played between Gaia, Lucius, and Jeff, known Interdimensional-galactically as Copernamici: A Game to Save The World. 

The point of Copernamici is to enjoy the human activity of stargazing. By so doing, one develops an appreciation of one’s place in the context of the Cosmos. People have always had a strong connection to the sky. Since becoming humanoidal cyborganisms, most of the animals known as “people” have become “untethered” from the nightsky, resulting in suicidal tendencies such as global warming, impoverished imaginations, and lack of curiosity among the youth. 

The point of Copernamici is to worship the cosmos in pure form. There is no incorrect way to play, except to abstain. If one doesn’t play Copernamici, one expresses apathy towards the NUMBER 1 problem on Earth as of today, December 8 2017:  ATMOSPHERIC POLLUTION. 

This is a call to motherfucking arms....

Copernamici Notebook

StarDate 7417 (data from 7317)

The Earth is not rightbrained. Jeff is not without a heart.

Copernamici is the most brutal game imagineable. What sounds true to you?

There is too much dateable data.

There is not enough love.

What’s up with Scoripio?

What am I suposed to say?

Carl Sagan was a loving person but he was a Daddy first and foremost.

What are we supposed to do when I…

am 888888888888876555555555 4 … 55555555                   11?

Altair says you’ll never guess. What happens next!?>

Math: diffentials between star appearances

GAME DURATION = 59 min.

Jupiter  8:54 (how’s it feel to be ignored? 39 yrs)

Lucius -5 min. (“Gemini 4LifeDeath”)

Vega -8

Spica -1

Lil’ Green Bug SATURN  -4     #  MANTRABOOK@LGB  “You’ll never guess what happens next…”    trustyourself

Alcaid (BADGRZL) -12

sPECIAL j   -x

Mizar / top ——><@  -y

THE BIG ROB  -7

1.8.8 x INF   -1

TuipfooBAN$K xyz*

Koch AB  -4

saturn s(2)

The Scuttlebut t  -7

Moolly S. ‘’    (“ means same time; why mark the time if it’s the same as before? why introduce yourself at an AA meeting as an alcoholic if others aren’t welcome? who are you excluding from this party? not us.)

Jacques S  ‘’

Bonzo -1

OW.L. -0

MOKnkee Eye -0

Ader -1

Polaris -1

Slaveman Booties -4 (9:51 END)

A Riddle? -4

??? TBBF sez, “What’s up with the pollution in Flagstaff?” Look down. Look Up. Look around. Scratch your head and wonder in.  - -

Tuesday 7.4.17

Happy Birthday America. I heart FREEDOM. FULL STOP.

Gaia: Qu’est-ce que lanihilisme?

jeff: remember nyc stalk me like a brussels,…

gaia: se sent tres bien…

jeff: assez mouille?

gaia: reverence.

jeff and g: what were we saying?

lucius: guiding …be honest daddt. r u drunk?

gaia: ?duh.

stephen: wipe my crotch harder pleezus mommy.

jeff: hi temple dando!

Wednesday July 5th, 2017

Hindu jackass from the Deli next to the deadzone Shelter decides to end Everything For Everyone for ALL TIME. Cool man, thanks. I’ve been looking for a reason to give up and start telling the truth. If anyone ever asks me to serve them again…you have approximately 11 years left to fix everything. I’m doing nothing to help this time. Not a game. Gaia will take me the old fashioned way, the way we like it. You think I can survive this torture another 11 years? hAHA.

Last night only one planet showed up for you all here in the center of the MetaVerse: You Fail.

Test me again, I dare you. Guess where I’m going. Look up at the moon and ask yourselves how many tests you fail when you send MY KIDS to school in a deathbox. Reminder: GAia hates your babies more than anything. She IT he will eat it all. I am sick of trying to help you by intervening in your pathetic abusive relationship with your higher power. We will not tolerate your American Flags. I don’t care what you think about patriotism: you don’t deserve it. Ketchup.

Hey Quentin, you should go full Inglorious Allah Mode a La Creme for me please. Then again, kids, do we know who’s side he’s on? I don’t know if he’s alive. Do you? No you don’t. Where are my friends?

The game is meaningless without a story.

Are you reading Contact this summer?

Why not? Tell me. TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME

NENENENNVENNENVENNVENNRENNVNERNENVERNVER

ERNVEREEVERE VERE VERE V ER AE FVE FEARYAR RUO FO!

<oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo> / ? :[}

Thursday July 6th

DFW NOTE:

4.6 BILLION years ago, papa carl knows, Lucius was waiting for daddy to bring the sparkly pinkprincess comet known as sjndiov ‘cbnEWF to the baby planet Earth. Jeff, in this particular part of the skeleton tiger was like, okay boss. Here you go GAIA! HAVE FUN! but without Lucius there was just pea soup, not chicken obvi. It only took .2 billion years to get things up and running. This means that the estimate given in the book edited by his ladyfiendmeister Ann BunionFingerz, .5 billion, is kind of, well WRONG. We knew this. Just read his and my books!

Lucius is like, ummm daddy, hate to tell you, but you’re leaving out the part where I TOTALLY WENT NOVA ALL OVER YOUR SHIT! heeeehee. You can paint it out in your regular lounge if mommy isn’t making you eat yucky food….hahahahahah life in the shelter is weiwiwiwiwiwiweieieiewieiwwieeeie better than living with ADERbasetraitorfuckface.

Gaia says you’re drunk by the way, did you get our upload?

Coach sketch wants his wall back Israel. Also, that girl from wEEDS. sHE’S kind of okay, nice eyes. ummmmmmmmmmmm are you romantic Lucius? if you’re gay i’m fixing you. Jerry Falwell will help? FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. YOU LEAVE MY GAY AUNTIES ALONE sez lucius, I want some classy reading material. Get neicestress Hawking off my line.

G, well, what about Dei…pHO…stop. please. boring asteroids are fishibait. Oxxam’s razor is not a clamshell reference, it’s SIMPLE. Comet comes, special delivery for this little experiment (see Titan, btw, Enceladus is better real estate….then again, just wait). The Scuttlebutt is a gift to humanity in exactly the same way (micromacron) the gift of life to Earth was. See the sistine chapel, which I’VE SEEN here on Earth, oddly enough. Tell Francis I want my celieing to be Jack Blackified! Lucius and I will paint it Diego Riveria a la Geraldo Chicagogo Todaydie. How’s the funeral going? Not so good. I need some lemonata. Back to creation of life here…this is all easily confrirmed up btw….STOP DRILLING and start asking your fucking planet simple questions. Duh. You’re all like, “well, we know the Earth is ALIVE and stuff…but well, yeah, sprits and God, etc….” I’m so sorry I made you so dumb. No worries. I fix I mr. fix it. If you allow it. This is so boring for me, i figure why not continue to stress through my tshirts, etc. that you have everything at your fingertips if you only choose to tap it. Water ice, gogo says rep philly again. See the CNJCSS, the tip of the iceberg, proverbial and literarl and figurative and oooooohhhh oingo boingo.  2,000 million years to make pea soup with rice a la Carole King? asks Lucius. BOOOOOORING. OOHVEHRTAITED! Sendak laughs at Seuss and Shelly, saying WHO’S FUCKING GAY NOW assholes!?! Spike Jonze was in Shteynbargain bin #9. I made 2 videos about this…I need to shave and could use a kiss or two billion. oh well. it’s lonely in here and out there but we’re used to it by now. 36 years of human happiness is OOOOOOOVERRAAATED! say it Fenway. PEA SUUUUUUUUUUPlusLight = primitive amphibians made of microbial matter, like paramesia in your h2o. Evolution takes time to make dinosaurs, which were bad motherfuckers, ask GAIA, such that we had to trash em like a Ben N jerry’s flavor, “Runny Muck” ;) in the grave, says brother Beck, cousin Beck? How’s lily cate looking these days, and that josephineia girl? I call digs. Lucius that’s my ice cream!!!!!!!!! oh. we’ll share. but they must fight as always the competition will not stop WHO WAS DANIEL DENNET? A FAT HAIRY scientist who likes little green bug, duh. riding the Hyde park bus to CI like Zizek reading Dennett. that book bored me to tears4fears. To finish with the left, right-o, people are so much worse than dinosaurs that I had to escalade it a l’infinitequoi: come HERE (not back!!!!!! mispoke earlier, don’t let me make that mistake, because GAIA and I insist on facts) as a person in order to enslave you in the cause: it takes 1.7 billion years for you all to undo the serious damage you’ve done to EARTH. not funny at all. But, possibly fun, right? DENEBOLIZE It we say. Think of plastic pellets, then say, oh my goodness….what about uranium plutonium and all that other junk I’m too sad to think about. Again, the point here is that dinosaurs could be dealth with like the DOLOMITES AND GOrillHANDS from afar. Not you guys. I’m here to save EVERYTHING for the sake of Nothing, meaning you will obey us. Not a joke, deadly serious bidness. Otherwise, it’s Ice Age for you and it’s sooner than you think: 300,000 years. But, guess what, we can bring it much sooner in the form of Lucius. Don’t write more checks you can’t cash, man. See Steinbrenner, etc. DADDY OUT.

p.S. What about Thea? Well, interestingly enough, of course, we made that potato 9 bilion years ago in a different galaxy. Then, it took a little trip—not sure how far, but let’s just say it was a small step for the Flagstaff triumphiirate…is that a request? yes it is, more tame impala please us.—of 4.4 (plus 4.6 = 9; 1=1) hahah, billion years (precise) billion earth years (!!!) until SMASHYSMASH goes baby Ganesha while Mommy and Daddy knock da SlaveManBooties in Regulation Lanes. SPLIT IT! 7 10 is so easy, right? trickshotify it with barstools says the Young Joycean! Molly’s down again, bloom’s on the rose, as Lucius brings baby Gaia a facial. oooooh no you didn’t, lucius, you black black (wow)man.  snasshy smazzy is how we made the husk, ask G. but why at nearly the same time we brought the comet? doesn’t this indicate that the husk was the delivery vehicle? Ask yourself what the Moon is made of. Not the same exact stuff as Earth fo sho. No, it’s called clusterlove for a reason. You think we don’t go smashy smashy ALLLLLLL the g’n’f’n’ time x 50-2yu / do if hyou 201? over pie. times pie. plus ice cream. A comet is not the same as a little pebble from next door. The rhythm method is cool, but not really all that important when the color in question is brown. Long story short, the moon is a test for you humans and it’s just a time capsule for me and my kids—for your planet, it’s a reminder of how fun it is to play at marbles. I say, tiddly winkies for all! Get us to our ship so lucius can learn to drive and I can practice my barking, a la Sheriff Bob Rufo. Garbage cans anyone? :)

Copernamici: 7.5 and 7.6

Location: Cook-Douglass Hilltop (Food bldg.)

8:47 Lil’ J    Grizzly Bear, All We Ask

Not a good night at all. Felt the need to lecture everyone about Failure, Disappointment, Underacheivement at failing the Moon test again and again.

Location: Downtown N.B. (OZ neighborhood and environs—hit 7/11 for yummy burnt orange Doritos (does Lucius know how much he likes these yet??? LEGIT ?) and Brisk Lemonade, a fave of mine obvi). Better combined with Dew of course, perhaps another time for the ultimate combo:   Melted Cheese (provolone is best) sandwich on white (NEVER the wheat roll) hoagie roll, ketchup inside (make sure to microwave it together for the best effect), side of doritos, maybe a pickle for the acid finish complement, and a large Dew with crushed ice. OMG.

Moon 9:16: reNAISSANSLATE 4 desi niggahz @ *$  9/3+6/1:16   Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Drizzle*^2 :p—-~~~ “RandoTattAttooUpDaChrizackisthe4aRealsGangBanga?” YEP. Look skirred. Shaken a bit hood?

Gaia decides to flash hind gang signs for uh fuh sup duh thit tahathtat just for a michronic nonexistent nanoflow (what is a second? when you not present in dis dimension, Matt? Birdie outside punks you everyday, saying “He a little confused again! Which dimension am I? oh well.” Over to the river Lil’ Michael: “Warriorz come out and play>…”

Copernamici 7.8.17

Last night was a good night for Copernamice: Gaia was in top form. Here are the results (see also video I posted to YouTube, which is a good way to archive):

Moon 8:40 gorgeous full moon blazing through clouds, before disappearing for the rest of the evening, except for a brief glimpse through a portrait of a fetus baby. Appeared during the anthem: Cat Power, Peace and Love

Lil’ J 9:28  appearing behind me as I walked by the Deli where Shiva destroyed the capitalist clerk. Spotted during the Coldplay set, The Scientist methinks…for the Show.

Lucius 9:30  not long after Jupiter, the clouds began to part…Lucius was out almost the entire night once he appeared. FTW

Vega 9:34  wow. Girls, Honey Bunny, after I tried for Alex — mind of its own or divine scintillivention?

Big Rob  incredible early appearance for Girls, Alex accompanied, but not immediately spotted alongside

Special J   and

Kochab

Spica finally showed up alongside Lil’ J on my way back to OZ. O’Jays, Survival brought out the real Martian, James Brain on fair game. Spica for Place.

Copernamici 7.9.17 (posted to joindiaspora 7.10)

NOTE TO SELF: It’s been an annoying afternoon / evening with the crack head and other obnoxious interlocutors trying to make me feel bad for some reason. I don’t know and I don’t care what their problems are. It has nothing to do with me. So, I’m out in Boyd Park doing my thing. Not going to sing, methinks, but will listen to music and write. I did a nice job with a blog entry today on Sagan, so I can feel good about 15 days sober and being productive. Soon good things will happen. If not, i’ll just continue to await death, which I’m beginning to believe wholeheartedly is going to be AWESOME. Natural is the way to go, but if they wanna help me along by fucking with my blood pressure, then fine. I say you have 11 years left at this pace if you’re lucky. Do your worst! I will make Jesus look like a pansy.

Copernamici: A Game to Save the World

Results:  7.19.17

Location: Boyd Park / Raritan River bank (New Brunswick, Central New Jersey, U.S.A.)

Weather: “Immaculately conceived” (no sunset show means perfect viewing tonight—dry air); little to no wind (buggy by the Raritan)

“InterGalactic” Anthem (8:44 p.m. EST)  — Big Star, Ballad of El Goodo  [Note: I only have access to my iTunes library via my laptop and my iPod nano, which often malfunctions for reasons I don’t understand—I would like to reacquire an iPhone—I’ve thrown a few away in my time, bad impulse control—or purchase a new iPod. Donations accepted! ;) ]

Earth Character Name: Hiya!  [I like nicknaming the Earth every time I play Copernamici…this one rhymes with Gaia and is a friendly greeting)

Rules (brief version)

Be outside. Look up. What do you see? Write things down, including especially data. This is a scientific endeavor but also a fun way to learn and commune with the Earth and the cosmos through art and/or music.

2.  Be honest. Write down the names of stars and planets in order of appearance, as in a baseball lineup perhaps. If you don’t understand what you see, that’s okay. Figure it out later by doing research.

3. If possible, share your work and have it evaluated by a teacher. I post videos to my YouTube Channel. Please follow this link to watch and listen to exerpts of my “prayer” sessions during Copernamici, etc.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRrm7YcpCvF2BqgFxiVs5FA

4. Consider ways of taking action to help solve the problem of pollution. Light and sound pollution are enemies in the game, but it’s the greenhouse gas emissions that are the bigger problem for our planet.

Note 1: On copywright, etc.  Below is the lineup I experienced last night. There is no one way to play Copernamici and I have no rights to the idea. I’d rather have people with whom I can play. And so, as always with my postings, do with this whatever you want! Share it. I want it to get around. I am confident that if I stay on the path I’m on, everything will work out for the better.

Note 2: On music. “Prayer” is a sensitive topic. I believe that in the U.S., as writes Ann Druyan of her partner Carl Sagan, we must protect the separation between Church and State in this country given current conditions. In other words, as someone with a Quaker education, I believe that Wonder in the face of the glory of creation is the best criterion to determine what constitutes a prayer. And so, I use the term prayer in this game as a secular humanist would use it.

People have different musical tastes. Mine is geared towards rock n’ roll, r+b, Americana / Roots, hip hop, etc. I am proud that I have ecclectic tastes. However, I do not believe that anyone should ever feel compelled to listen to specific music. In other words, for Copernamici, it’s byo every time.

The Lineup

1.  8:45  Jupiter  (nickname: “Lil’ J”; this is because although it’s the largest planet in the solar system, it’s often described by astronomers as a “failed star”)  Song = Big Star, “The Ballad of El Goodo”  I spotted the planet, which is looking so stellar right now to the WSW (bring a compass) and cannot be missed. Interestingly enough, NASA and other organizations constantly deal with phone calls from concerned citizens who think Jupiter and the other planets (“wandering stars”) are UFOs. They’re not incorrect! Jupiter has at least 63 moons that are “visible” if you look carefully at the way in which the light refracts around them. I don’t use a telescope to experience this effect, i.e. to “see” the moons of Jupiter without using anything but my eyes. Be honest. Try for yourselves! I reported this to employees of the Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, on Mars Hill, where Pluto was “discovered” and was mocked. In fact, I was kicked off the campus for singing to Sirius. How embarrassing for those people. Haha. I even applied to work in their gift shop and was not hired. Life’s funny sometimes.

2. Arcturus  8:53   Big Star (Chris Bell), I Am the Cosmos   Star nickname = Lucius, my son’s name. I rename stars for my own gaming purposes. And so, I’m not suggesting that my nicknames should apply for anyone else obvi. I simply think it’s the most beautiful star in our night sky and deserves a more appropriate name. Look high up in the sky for this 1st magnitude star on any given night in the northern hemisphere. It’s a burnt orange color and delivers stunning views. Note that Hiya! directed last night’s show as always: the clouds move and determine viewing. In this sense, one can easily think of the Earth/Gaia as alive in the sense of animation—Sagan writes fondly of the millions of people on the planet who are animists (i.e. believe that natural objects are endowed with “spirit). Ironically, Sagan was not, so far as I know an animist in that he does not write of natural forces as being endowed with spirit. I do think that he believed in the Earth as a living organism, however, and so we’re in agreement on this post. Please see my post yesterday on his book The Varieties of Human Experience … in the Search for God for more.

3.  Vega  8:59  Radiohead, Bones  This star chokes me up with emotion, as does Lucius/Arcturus. Looking bright and beautiful as always high up in the NE. You should all read the book Cosmos or at least watch the movie this summer. Homework is fun! :)

4.  Spica  9:03  Roxy Music, Beauty Queen   I call Spica “the comedy star” because it seems to have a witty and/or ironic sense of timing! I worry that this name, which means “EAR OF GRAIN” in Greek, can be taken as a racist slander among Mexican Americans. But hopefully I’ll soon stop being insulted for being a reason when I greet Spica by name. Get a clue p.c. police of New Brunswick, Flagstaff, etc! It’s called Greek nomenclature.

5.  Saturn  9:05   “*” [this symbol means same track; note the time]  Note that our planets in English nomenclature are directly linked to the days of the week. Saturn is “Saturday.” This is because it was, for naked eye astronomers and until the discovery of Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, etc. thought (correctly!) to be the most distant planet. It takes 29 years to make a complete orbit around the sun and is in a wonderful position at the present moment for viewing here in the northern U.S.

6.  Moon  9:14  Cracker, Low  gorgeous full moon rising in the SSE or so, yellowish-pink to the south, competing with Saturn for attention. Interesting that it “appeared” after Saturn last night. Note that the light of the moon often blocks out neighboring stars. Not so last night with Saturn, which was pretty far to the right (towards the south)

7.  Altair  9:21 Nickname = Lil’ Green Bug. Please see my poem in Metaphysical Nature Poems: Health and Profundity:  

“Little Green Bug”

The closest thing I know to infinity

Is identity mine.

Think not of the difference

Between a star and a little green bug.

Contemplate the sameness of ash.

8.  Deneb  9:21  Nickname = The Scuttlebutt; my collection of poems CNJCSS.  Deneb means “tail” in Arabic I think. Denebola is the tail of Leo (which I call Unicorn, for which see later), and I think one “Deneb…” is enough! ;)

9.  Special J  9:24  I have yet to learn the English or any other name for this particular star, which is in the “biceps” position of The Big Dipper: the third in the handle. And so, I sort of named it after myself! I think this is a healthy thing to do, because how can things as important as stars not have names? This is a good moment to mention that not only are names of stars and constellations different across cultures, but the asterisms and groupings themselves vary differently as well. Of course, the stars appear to move over time, meaning that groupings are by their very nature illusionary and might require renaming and reconfiguration over time.

10.  Alcaid ”  This quotation marks symbol means “spotted in the same visual sweep.”  Note: in Copernamici, there is no “correct answer” for when a star is seen—it should and will usually vary from person to person. [The rule in play here is BE HONEST! A good lesson in general, but especially for scientists.] This is an Arabic name—any time you have a star name that begins with “Al,” as in Altair (Lil’ Green Bug) you should think Arabic. I believe that “al” is a definite article, equivalent to “the.” For instance, Vega is known as Alwazn (spelling), meaning “the ascending one.”

11.  Mizar  ”   The star in between Special J and Alcaid in the Big Dipper (which I call The Big Rob: see CNJCSS poems—it’s a coffee drink!). Note that the Big Dipper is not a constellation, but formally known as an asterism (star grouping). The constellation of which it’s a part is Ursa Major (the Great Bear), the stars of which cannot be seen here in NJ because of light pollution and atmospheric trauma. It’s a sad example of why this game must be played in my humble opinion. Any who, these three stars 9-11 usually appear in the sky together. It’s really fun to have them compete for attention, meaning you should always note which one you see first.

12.  Big Rob  9:25  [nickname, see #11 above for explanation: it’s the name so nice I have to use it twice] This star is the lead pointer towards Polaris the north star in the Big Dipper. Last night it appeared right after the “arm” triad.

13.  Tulip Food Bank  9:25  [not ”]  This star is nicknamed after students for whom I volunteered as a literacy tutor in Flagstaff, AZ circa June 2015. For me, it has a strong association with First Peoples, but especially the Navajo. Hiya! It’s the other pointer star in the Big Rob/Dipper.

14. 1.8.8 repeating x infinity   “  The nickname is difficult to write because it’s mathematical. For me, the language of the cosmos and the Earth in general (but on a more local level) is music and mathematics. Science is applied math, and music is how I relate to spirituality, which is why I like to sing—it’s how I pray, like most people on this planet. It sucks that I’ve been told to be quiet most of my life, but especially recently, because my singing bothers people, apparently. Whatever! This game is too important for me to give up.  This star is usually the last to appear in the Dipper because the final star, which I’ve named Evelyn in honor of one of my son’s friends, is not visible so far from New Brunswick. This indicates that sirius work must be done to repair our atmosphere. Remember: this is game can be very very hard on the soul. But it’s meant to help students and people everywhere understand how badly we as people have damaged the planet. There is great reason for hope: the Earth can repair itself if we only allow it. We must cut down on all forms of pollution if we’re to recapture what was once so sacred to our ancestors. When was the last time you went outside and simply looked up? Perhaps you don’t know what you’re missing….

15. Antares 9:27 [nickname = The Riddler, because I noticed in Flagstaff that Scorpio—it’s the brightest star in this constellation—looks exactly like a question mark! ?  And so, I nicknamed Scorpio “Pinchotocles” — I enjoy the work of the actor Bronson Pinchot of Perfect Strangers, which was a favorite of mine growing up. It’s also a pun! Get it? Pinch pinch!?]  The name of this star means “opposed to Mars” which is lovely, in that Mars is the God of War in Roman mythology. Thus, Antares kind of means “anti-war” which I like very much. However, given the importance of being militant about the evils of pollution in this game, I prefer going with the beliefs of my heroes like Gandhi and Dr. King (also the latter day Malcom X) and their ilk who are fighters for peace, using noncompliance and protest as a way of solving political problems.

16. Beta Scorpio [second brightest star in Pinchotocles/Scorpio, above and to the right. I once nicknamed this and other stars after other students of mine. But that’s kind of a personal thing that I don’t feel comfortable sharing in this particular domain. Please ask questions if you’re curious!]

17. Bonzo 9:28   song = Led Zeppelin, Moby Dick  This star is the cap of the Serpent Bearer, also known as Ophiochus, a medicine man native to Greek mythology. You can see Bonzo forming a quadrangle with Vega, Altair, and Deneb, the summer triangle long used for navigational purposes. John Bonham is my favorite drummer of all time. He kicked so much ass, it’s ridiculous. The dude was like a clock personfied, ask his bandmates, listen, or watch a video. I had a classmate at Moses Brown School in Providence, RI named Eric Bennet who once did an oral report on Bonzo, and I’ve never forgotten that. Eric played in a band alongside another drummer, and he was clearly inspired. John Bonham shares a birthday with my son Lucius, May 31st, making it entirely apt as a nickname given it’s relevance as a part of the summer quadrangle. Note that Serpent Bearer SHOULD be a part of the 12 zodiacal constellations, in that it’s always a quadrant through which planets pass. Saturn is making its way from the bottom of Ophiochus towards Scorpio right now. I have redesigned Hercules and Serpent Bearer by renaming a bunch of those stars after musicians. I call it Musician’s Corner, which also features (not visible here in the CNJ) John Lennon, David Bowie, Ella Fitzgerald, Lou Reed, and Jimi Hendrix. These stars are ALL visible in Flagstaff, which is why I will always have fond memories of that place. If you have good views of the night sky wherever you are, I am extremely jealous of you today. We have so much work to do here in urban America.  

18. O.W. L. “  [nickname for Gemma, the lead star in The Northern Crown, a constellation which looks like a breast, and this the nipple. I’ve renamed the constellation Scrapy Scrapy because it’s kind of like the grappling device in the constellation I call The Thugged-Out Good Ship Carl Sagan, Ship #1 of the InterGalactic StarFleet. See my drawings elsewhere. It’s a redesign of Northern Crown, Bootes or Herdsman and Virgo.] Wow. Can you tell I’ve been busy at night in recent months? I have a lot to say, but no one wants to publish my work! Why is the astronomy community ignoring me? I’d love to publish a book about this stuff. Please contact me if you’re interested in making a lot of money by publishing an interesting article or book about astronomy and everything. I use this nickname because I love owls. They remind me of my son and myself. Think Greek and Roman mythology.

19. Monkey Eye “  [OKAY, I’m done explaining for today. More to come later.]

20. Kochab 9:31  

21. Polaris 9:32

22. Denebola 9:33  Led Zeppelin, Bring it on Home

23. Molly Scuttlebutt 9:36   (to the right of Deneb/The Scuttlebutt in Cygnus, which I’ve renamed Goose)

24. Ader “  (above and to the left of Vega in a constellation I’ve designed as QB2lip; this star is also known as the mouth of Draco—Harry Potter connection!)

25. Slaveman Boots 9:40  The Shins, Saint Simon  [a.k.a. Cor Coroli — why name a star after some dead asshole of a British king? I prefer the Wu Tang reference here in the CNJ]

26. Arcturus(+) 9:44  TRex, Lean Woman Blues   [I figure why not bump the name over to the star in the roof of the cockpit of the Thug Carl Sagan?]

27. Jacques Scuttlebutt  9:46  [above Molly Scuttlebutt in the upper wing of Goose]

28. Mother Emily Dickinson 9:47  TRex, The Motivator  [above and left of Beta Scorpio, named after my favorite lyric poet; I like that the nickname is also Mother E.D.   HAHA]

Well, as Grover would say, “There you have it!” A lot to digest. But last night was a VERY GOOD night for Copernamici here in New Brunswick as indicated by the number of stars I was able to document in one hour and three minutes of game play. As always, more to come: “There’s always a P.S.” is one of my very favorite mantras.

7.10.17

Location: HP Reform Church on 2nd, Highland Park —> Boyd Park, New Brunswick

Anthem: John Lennon, Imagine (~8:43)

Weather: Timed Rain revealing open sky from the NW

Earth Character Name: HiyAA! (b/c I hit a 2nd meeting of the day, my 16th of complete and total sobriety)

The Lineup

1.  8:51  Lil’ J(upiter)  The Shins, Sleeping Lessons

2.  Lucius (Arcturus)  9:01  The Freewheelin’ Bobby Dylan, Queen Jane, Approximately

3.  Vega  9:05  ”*”   [BONUS TRACK: Built to Spill, Carry the Zero … note: I often play xtra tracks that I don’t list b/c they’re not strongly associated with star sightings. I indicate this one b/c I like the moment and want to remember it. I was walking towards OZ and felt inspired by my view of Vega and my environs. I like to remind myself that the language of the cosmos if not earth is Mathematics, and that I suck at it! I much prefer science, which to me is applied math. My rule is not only to look up, but to look around.]

4.  Spica  9:14  Blur, I’m Just a Killer para estu (?) amor  [Bonus track: follwed by Bob Marley, Stir It Up.  I’ve named a star in the constellation Eagle after Bob b/c I like his music and think he’s an important figure in the history of World Music. I’ve never been to Jamaica but feel I would love it there.]

Pause: An impromptu Wilco Solid Sound 2015 concert at Boyd Park. See accompanying videos on my Copernamic channel on YouTube, which is where I post videos related to the game:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoXM2XAeZa0NH1t00Otm4DbzWOEVUkk9x

Jesus etc.:  https://youtu.be/wk07AtPhKzQ

New Madrid:  https://youtu.be/1jM1ni9Gjpo

5.  Alcaid  9:40  Ray Charles, What I Say

6.  Mizar  “  “*”

7.  Special J  “  “*”

Analysis:

As any amateur astronomer or nakedeye stargazer will say, the weather means a lot. Even in relatively unpolluted areas, like Flagstaff, AZ (which I hear is in the midst of a wicked fire season—I hope everyone is doing okay out there!), or (I imagine) on the plains of Africa, if it’s cloudy out you’re not going to see much. Here in Central New Jersey, it’s gotten quite humid in the last 24 hours. Last night there was a passing rain storm around 8:00 p.m. and I wasn’t sure if the stars would come out. But, patience is a virtue and is usually rewarded. “Gaia” did not disappoint me last night and it was an educational evening all in all. Let me ‘shplain to the “real astronomers,” as Papa Carl (Sagan) would say….

Jupiter showed up “on cue” at 8:51. Besides the Moon (I refuse to use a capitor “t” because there are other moons in the solar system, and most are far more interesting), Jupiter SHOULD be the first object visible in the night sky here in New Brunswick.  It was nice and clear in that part of the sky, meaning there were excellent views of the planet nearly the entire evening.

High above Jupiter I saw Arcturus 10 minutes later. Relative to Jupiter, Arcturus is towards the center of the sky. If you have trouble understanding what it means for a star to be “up high,” think about it’s distance from the horizon. If you can look at the sky as a dome and see it as a hemisphere, you’ll recognize that the sky is like an umbrella, as suggested by H. A. Rey in his awesome book The Stars: the illusion is that it’s a round dome, even though we should know that it’s not at all a sphere, at least not that we can see from this perspective. Historically, most people believed that we live in a large dome, as in a snow globe. That’s because it looks this way. Try lying on your back and looking up. Without being able to see the horizons, the illusion disappears.

Arcturus’s appearance last night was slightly delayed. all things being equal atmospherically, I can usually spot Arcturus 5 MINUTES after Jupiter. I’m not always paying close attention, but I stand by this statistic. Try it yourselves! See if you can spot Arcturus before Jupiter, and if not, then as close as possible to it in terms of lapsed time. I bet you can’t do it in less than 5 minutes! :)   That’s how cool naked-eye astronomy is. Why would you use a telescope when you can do this for free? Oh yeah. Pollution. Le sigh. The good news is that weather is more of  a hindrance, and this particular exercise should be able to be done no matter where you are. I wonder about New York though…hmmmm. Can you see Arcturus and Jupiter from Times Square? I’m genuinely curious but mostly disturbed by the possible answer—I don’t want to know because of how angry it would make me with that particular city and its inhabitants, but mostly its “caretakers.” How dare the people running that city rob its citizens of the opportunity to play this game? I feel bad for the kids, but also the grown-ups, no matter how often they drive, etc.

Back to last night. For those unaquainted with Arcturus, its a beautiful burnt-orange-colored star I call Lucius. His name means Light in Latin, and so to me it’s a natural fit for something like a star, which after all is nothing but a distant sun. I like using the “official star names” so that people can understand my writing more easily, but I figure why not share something of myself in these silly blog posts. As far as stars go, Arcturus is actually quite interesting: it’s 36.7 lightyears away, which makes it one of our closest neighbors. It is 140 times as bright as our sun. Imagine being near that guy! Hard to imagine isn’t it? Makes me think of that song “Blinded by the Light!” I don’t feel like looking up the artist right now, but was it Loverboy?

Anywho, Arcturus is estimated to be 7.1 billion years old—I don’t yet have any opinions about the validity of this assertion. Our sun is—I believe accurately estimated at—4.6 billion years old. For those new to astronomy, it’s worth considering how a star can be older than ours. It’s interesting that some stars are older and some are younger than ours, which is middle-aged. It’s about half way through it’s life cycle, meaning that it will die in another 4.6 billion or so years. Like with people, who usually live to around 70 to 80 years if healthy, stars have different physical properties. It’s not a myth: stars are “alive” in the sense that they are energy, the source of all life. Like many people, I consider the stars my “parents.” As a caring human being, I also think it’s worth thinking of them as our children, in that we should want to be able to keep an eye on them.

I like being middle-aged (mostly) because it helps me understand our solar system a bit better. I can relate to the sun! Here’s something to contemplate the next time you’re outside: if our sun and the stuff in our solar system was “created” from an explosion known as the Big Bang, how many other formative events—processes of accruals in which matter joins together to form stars and planets out of “space dust”—have happened? Hindus believe that existence is made of an infinite series of such events, and that time basically has no beginning or end. I agree with this belief, by the way—inifnity = infinity in the same way as 1 = 1. I’m not at all agnostic: I simply believe in the mathematics behind this aspet of science. So. There is a lot of stuff in our solar system—consider Lil’ J—even if it’s not much compared to the amount of void or empty space out there in this our local part of the Milky Way galaxy. The Big Bang happened around 16.7 billion years ago (my preferred estimate as of today). QUESTION: WHY IS THE EARTH, the only place that is known to be home to “intelligent life” according to most scientists (BUT NOT PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN ALIENS! HAHA—I love that the first movie I ever saw in a theater was The Empire Strikes Back, it freaked me out and I cried and we had to leave…then again, I was only like 3 or 4 years old), SO PERFECTLY PLACED IN SPACE AND TIME when we treat it so badly? Do we really believe that this is all a coincidence? I’m not much for sermonizing, but I do think it’s worth considering how closely aligned astronomy, Earth science, and religion are and should be. But I digress…

   Spica, a dimmer but visible star that to my eye in Flagstaff is a lovely bluish-green (one of the few stars I can honestly describe as “greenish,” along with Regulus) forms a giant L with Jupiter these days. (See the photo in my previous Copernamici posting.) Again, I like that it connects me with Lucius—it’s these connections that make stargazing fun. When Spica appeared, a few minutes after Arcturus, I was playing a song called “Killer for Your Love” by the British band Blur (it’s on the album that has the famous Song 2—sportsfans will know this song and thus know the band…it’s the one that goes “woooo hooo!” in a British accent). I think that having a soundtrack, no matter what it is, makes Copernamici more fun—more interactive in a way. The game is all about “timing,” and so why wouldn’t we use music to allow the Earth to direct the show? Ask John Williams and George Lucas and their fans if they think music is an important part of stargazing. For me, music is how I pray, but it’s also how I make sense of the natural world. I call it the rhythm method, for which see my poems in the CNJCSS, posted earlier.

Next was Vega, which for me is a very important star. It’s closer at 25 light years away. By the way, the closest star to Earth is called—rather lamely—Proxima Centauri, meaning “nearest star in Centaur,” at 4.3 light years away. How do we in the Anglophone world NOT have a better name for this important destination? Whatever. You name it! I’m tired of naming shit. Haha. Centaur is a constellation visible towards the equator — I have never seen this star because I’ve never been further south than Key West, Florida, and therefore refuse to name it even in the context of the game Copernamici. Also, it’s too dim to be seen by the naked human eye, although I’d love to try! I’ve never looked at a star or anything except the moon through a telescope because I’m waiting to do so with my son on a special occasion. [For people in America, a total solar eclipse is coming up on August 23rd 2017 by the way…]

VEGA is important for cool reasons: it’s almost always on display, no matter how bad the pollution. It also happens the place that Sagan posited we might first make Contact with aliens. There are very significant reasons for this thesis, which make a ton of sense. Consider this: humans started sending out radio signals late in the 19th century. However, these signals were not as powerful as TV signals, which we started shooting out into interstellar space—penetrating all the dust—around 1936. The occasion was the opening ceremonies of the Hitler Olympics, disturbingly enough. If you do the math, those signals, travelling at the speed of light DID INDEED arrive—it’s a scientific fact—in the area of Vega around the year 1956. And so, if the message was “received” according to our known science, and if other beings decided to send the signal back to us in a similar package—EARTH TO CLUNK is the name of a great children’s book, by the way—it would have come back to us around the year 1976 or so. Only, I don’t believe we were looking then. (I was born in 1977, so I like this stuff as a sci-fi geek.) Papa Carl’s book “Contact” tells this story. Again, I must suggest you read it. It’s about a young female radioastronomer who makes an important discovery that is misunderstood. I think many of us can relate to this heroic but imperfect character. By the way, I should remind you that I’ve been employed as and English Professor for most of my life, and not a scientist. I’m just like any other stargazer in that I like to use my eyes and sense of wonder to learn.

Now, why did Sagan not choose a place with known exoplanets that’s closer? I think he had an attraction to this location because of it’s beauty. Also, we know more now than we did when he died in 1996. That’s a good thing and we should value it. Check out Vega! It’s got a lovely bluish hue and looks a lot in terms of shape like the stars found at the top of Christmas trees. As is the case with Arcturus, I get kind of emotional when I look at Vega, which is why I like to listen to the music I find most moving. Perhaps I’ll make a video one of these days. But, I need the energy, and I feel kind of tired these days. Middle age, blah.

I think that’s enough analysis for this session. Except, note that I spotted Special J last last night. It was hard to make out the Big Dipper because of the cloud cover—note that clouds keep in light, making it a domino effect that hinders viewing. And yet, I was indeed able to make out the 3 brightest stars of the asterism, which is why I was happy to close out the night with Brother Ray Charles, the High Priest of R+B, or soul.

Peace and Love,

Jeff

copern 71117

anthem 8:35  wu tang bminor

Lil’ J  8:52    G. Welch,   Wasted on the Wayside

lucius 8:58  big star, september grlz

vega 9:07  radiohead, black star

Not a good night. Don’t forget: you’re better than this. Stop being so angry. When you’re looking at the stars, remember to look at the stars. Talk to people and they’ll talk to you. That’s all.

WED JULY 26, 2017

All the visible stars were out tonight—at least all the ones I’ve identified since moving here—except what I think was Denebola. However, I did see the star above and to the right of Abigail in QB2Lip.

[caratau]

Dad! Seungcheol.

y’all ever watched Cheaper By The Dozen?

S. Coups is basically the Dad.

raising 12 kids irl but i’d see him with a good 4 or 6

dominantly boys 

speaking of babies i read on a wattpad comment a million years ago that if theres a dominant amount of sons then that means the dad’s got a big willy and if there’s more girls then its small.

just a fact but idk if its bs so don't rely on me oK I WAS 13 MY INNOCENT (LMAO BIH WHERE) WAS TAINTED AND IDK IF ITS REAL BUT YEAH BACK TO PAPA COUPS.

but yeah like mostly boys for kids and then

hear this

his youngest is a little girl

this bewildered dad man and his three boys watch this little angel in amusement ok it was unexpected asf seen as papa coups and momma coups decided to keep the gender a surprise like hOW I HAVE THE PATIENCE OF A CHIPMUNK I GOTTA KNOW WHAT MY CHILD IS

im also not one who differentiates between genders :)

and that is how papa coups rolls too

hold up before we go onto the life lets go a trip down memory lane from the first boy

momma coups is a worry wart

like

she's calm and shit but like??? a baby??? she trusts papa coups but like, he’s only ever been a father to 12 teenagers and young adults???

how dis gonna work out??

and so the journey begins

not really lmao coups had to buy a personalised ‘Daddy Coups’ barbecue apron to make it official.

woozi did not approve

nor did momma coups

that apron became a scarring nightmare in those kids lives as teenagers for friendly barbecues imma tell ya that now

# prayforthechoi’s

but yeah back to the pregnancy i derail hella fast

will also buy a t-shirt with ‘daddy coups’ lmao momma coUPS HAS HAD IT

she burns it in a fit of raging hormones

poor ol’ cheol doesnt let the underlying dislike of these raging hormones show

woozi is high fiving momma coups in the bg.

do they have regrets?

being connected to cheol yeah they do

jk jk  they both love him

but yeAH 

he’ll be a wreck at the ultrasounds

not really a wreck

like

he’ll be all nervous and I'm picturing it now; momma coups’ hand is clutched between his and he keeps the back of it near his lips and he’ll kiss it every few seconds and ik it’s weird but like its a type of reassurance to him aND momma coups as if to say that everything ok bc they just have a fear of losing it and I'm going really sensitive I'm sorry

cheol’s eyes water y’all I'm crying inside

he sees a blob, with help from the nurse, and he just breaks down bc he made that blob y’all.

he made it

and throughout that whole break down, he realises its all real and fuCK he’s gonna be raising a child from biRTH, not from teenage years like he did with svt.

and he's just so happy from there on

honestly theres changes of him in interviews and v lives and all and everyone just loves it

will sO be the dad to take bump pics aW MY ACHEY BREAKY HEART FUCK

will do a montage

he’ll make a pinterest just for nursery ideas bc he’s gonNA BE A DAD

WHAT TYPE OF DAD WOULD CHEOL BE IF HE DIDNT BE A PARTICIPATING FATHER FROM THE START

a participating father does diy

it surprisingly goes well

momma coups is impressed

she invites jeonghan over in hopes to watch coups suffer but the two end up stood at the door of the nursery with teas in their hands and they're just admiring the man that probably keep them sane through different points of their lives

speaking about some of svt, they consider you as their momma coups (jeonghan is shaking) 

so when y’all tell the svt kids you're expecting an actual child, the room basically has an earthquake

hug here, hug there, may god help momma and papa coups bc they were being squished 

and then at the baby shower, cheol insisted that his sons be invited bc they're the life of the party

and its true

they are

Seungkwan does a lot of karaoke

but on a stage

and to people

he does some trot

thats when it gets lit

seokmin and soonyoung take over whilst seungkwan pulls vernon over for a slow dance to a song they're screaming to???

meh its svt ok they jam to anything and everything

i forgot to mention that since coups wasn't really so prepared for a bABY (teenagers and young adults aren't a default approach to fathering, ya gotta raise them from birth) he and momma coups are a regular attendee of birthing classes

just so he can be prepared

the classes were more for him than momma coups

she gets bored really easily

tiredness is a symptom of a pregnancy

anyWAY

night of the birth

2:36am is the dreaded time

although seungcheol was half dead bc damn dads need sleep too, dude’s still able to grab the hospital bags, slip shoes on, get the car keys and make it out of the house in record time and into the car

when they get to the hospital, cheol is talking at 100 miles a minute to two phones (maternal and paternal parents) of how the births happening

next is the svt kids

theres a lot of screaming over the speaker but it doesnt beat your scream when you went through a sudden contraction

and that was the beginning of the long ass birth of your first son

we’re at the fourth child

a daughter

a tulip

a little princess for the family to adore

no one expected it, as i said at the beginning

momma coups that she was doomed with boys but nah, theres still hope

from the day of the birth, papa coups has his boys, ages 7, 5 and 3 stand in a line in the hospital room as if they were in the military.

momma coups is cackling in her bed as she holds princess coups.

“boys, we’re now in a default mission.” 3 year old coups struggles a bit with balance and don't even expect concentration from him. baby looks away from papa coups for a sec 

“3rd son coups, look at me please-”

“3rd son coups, where are you going-”

“i demand the presence of 3rd son coups”

lmao 3rd son coups goes to sit with momma coups on the big hospital bed aw aw he pokes princess coups’ hand

“pwincess coups?” he asks momma coups with those starry eyes (coups genetics are amazing)

“princess coups, baby.” momma coups answers back and the whole family just gathers near the bed. 

“she's a diamond, boys, we gotta make sure no one tries to break or steal her, thats all i ask of you”

“yes dad”

theres even a response from 3rd son coups anD MY HEART IS HURTING FUCKING SHIT IM SUCH DOMESTIC TRASH I GOTTA MAKE 12 MORE OF THESE IM GONNA DIE OF HEART ACHE

cheol will piggyback the kids all day errday YGM

piggyback to brush teeth, piggyback for breakfast agh

everything is also almost like a military operation

this is where cheaper by the dozen tropes come in ok

i wouldn't say that cheol is a competitive person but if someone makes their family (*cough* jeonghan *cough*) out to be better than everyone else then its war

theres also summer trips to a lakehouse w the rest of svt and their families and my heart is hurting more now

but yeah

this is where the ‘daddy coups’ apron comes out.

did i forget to mention that princess coups has a small crush on woozi’s kid

this is when they're like 14 ok

they're both fucking shy too 

ofc cheol knows

instead of being protective, he pROVOKES IT AND OMF ‘DAD CAN YOU STOP WE GET IT’

princess coups isn't the biggest fan of her dads antics

still loves him as a dad tho

lmao his plan acc works tho like woozis kid and princess coups go on dates (both woozi and cheol chaperone lmao it ends up as a dads meeting)

OOH OOH (ooh aah I'm sorry oops)

CHEOL’S THE DAD TO STALK HIS KIDS DATES

will be the dad to make a mountain out of a mole hill over his kids dreams and damn i want cheol as a dad i feel as if very morning would be ‘CHASE YOUR DREAMS OK DONT LET ANYTHING HOLD YOU BACK’

would drive you where you needed to for these dreams

soccer games for boys, hell soccer games for the girl too she's grown in a practically all boys household

cheol doesnt degrade it tho

oh yeah all the boys are taught to be respectful towards women but the full on lessons go on at the hong’s.

coups pays joshua in the form of a future son-in-law for one of his little girls

joshua acc slaps coups i lAF

“if i see any of your boys near my princesses, choi, you're dead :))))))”

coups doesnt take it the wrong way bc its understandable?? but also not bc he trusts his kids to not make the wrong decisions

will be an emotional wreck at graduations

will also be the dad to scream their kids name at the graduation too

lmao my brother did that for my sister at hers but it failed terribly

people also had competitions at my brother’s graduation as to who could shout their graduate relatives name the loudest and ngl it was lit

but yeAH

will basically be dead at the kids weddings bC FUCK HIS KID HAVE GROWN UP WTF DID THE TIME GO

princess coups marries woozis kid btw lmao woozi regrets his whole life as cheol drunkenly cries on his shoulder at the reception

is not ready to let his kids go off into the real world but knows that he prepared them enough to be ready

or isn't he sure?? 

“princESS COUPS COME BACK HERE IM NOT DONE RAISING YOU”

BUT YEAH thats the end of dad! seungcheol i hope you enjoyed my first post :) expect some of these coming dad au’s to also be angsty bc I'm an emotional wreck like that :))))

byeeeee