#oh boy I'm loving working on this little thing
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"Pick One Moment"
[Spencer Reid x fem!reader]
Masterlist
Summary: A rough case in Dayton, Ohio brings unexpected emotions to the surface for you, forcing you to confront feelings you'd been hiding for yearsâfeelings for Spencer Reid.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, moment of awkwardness
Word Count: 2.0k words
A/N: just based on the lyric 'And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you...I love you' from the song Something Stupid by Frank Sinatra because it's been stuck in my head. I've been planning to write Spence for a while but I've been intimidated.
Staying professional in Dayton, Ohio proved to be a challenge.
It had been a rough case, but what case wasn't, right? Just have to wrap this one up and you can go back to your house and dog.
Okay, fine, this wasn't like most cases at all, not to you anyway. This one had hit particularly close to home. And you didn't like that one bit.
This made you more short-tempered than usual, even snapping at a witness. After a lengthy lecture from Hotch, I mean from the look on his face you would think you had insulted him, he had 'benched' you by having you go through old files that might be related to the UnSub.
Hey, at least you got to do it with Spencer.
After working with him for so many years, you grew quite fond of him. Too fond maybe.
You stared at him going through files with a speed that should not have been human. 20,000 words at a minute, and you thought you were a fast reader.
"Got anything yet, Boy Genius?" you asked, flipping the page of your own file.
He looked up at you. God those eyes...
"No. This one isn't even related to it." he dropped the file on the table.
"Didn't you read the entire thing?"
"Yes," he replied, "It was interesting."
"You find everything interesting."
"Not true," he protested.
You rubbed your eyes, sighing. "Sure, Spence."
He tilted his head at you, a look of concern on his face. Adorable.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
You considered lying, you had been doing that the entire time you had arrived in Dayton after all, but decided against it. "Not really."
"Is it about your family? I thought this case might bring up some bad memories."
You couldn't help but smile at how quickly he had gotten it. "Yeah, something like that."
"Can I help?"
"Can you make memories go poof?"
He actually seemed to ponder it. "No. I'm not sure why you would want to."
"You never wish that you could just forget the bad stuff?" You knew what he had been through, you had seen quite a bit of it.
His brows furrowed. "I don't like the idea of forgetting anything. I mean, Mom forgets enough so I remember for her too."
You realized your mistake and winced. "Spence... God, sorry."
"It's okay," he reassured you. "You're remembering a dark time in your life, it can be overwhelming. Also explains you snapping at the witness, with your nerves on edge."
"Yeah?" You grinned. "It was going to be Morgan but the asshole left before I could. So collateral damage."
He laughed. "He's outside if you want to insult him now. I don't want to be collateral damage too."
"You? Never."
"Never?"
"Never," you repeated.
Oh, how you loved his lopsided grins. "Thank you."
"Always." If you could pick one moment to live in forever, it probably would've been that one.
Minus JJ coming through the door right then. "We got something."
You wanted to throw a file at her. Instead, you get up with a heavy sigh. The sooner you get this done the better, you had to remember that.
~~~
The BAU was heading back to Washington tomorrow, so you could leave this far far behind. Finally. This case taking up two weeks of your life was enough.
You sat at a cafe next to the hotel where you were staying. It was a cozy little place with a mostly brown interior and warm lighting. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries filled the air.
You sipped your drink, feeling the cup's warmth in your hands. You had been coming here for the past few days and you had to admit, you would miss this place.
Just then, the door opened, and in walked someone you recognized, glancing around the room before spotting you. With a smile, Spencer made his way over, pulling out a chair across from you.
"Mind if I join you?" he asked.
You smiled back, gesturing to the seat. "Not at all."
He sat down and looked around. "So this is where you disappear to?"
You hummed in confirmation. "it's a nice place to think."
He stared at you for a while before nodding thoughtfully.
"What?" you sipped your coffee.
"Just... Are you feeling better?"
You shrugged. "Yeah, UnSubs behind bars. What more could I want?"
"Closure," he replied quietly.
You pressed your lips together tightly. "It's fine Spence. I'm alright with it."
"I don't think you are."
"Spencer," you said, a hint of warning in your voice, "You want to help, I get it. But not with this. Okay?"
It was an unspoken thing, the way Spencer always seemed to know when you needed space and when you needed someone to push just a little. He respected your boundaries, but there were momentsâlike this oneâwhen his concern slipped through the cracks.
He sat across from you in that quiet cafe, watching you. You couldnât tell if he was waiting for you to speak or if he was just giving you the time to process, as he always did.
It had been a rough case, yes, but that wasnât why you were still here, staring into your coffee like it held all the answers.
Your eyes flickered up to meet his. He was still staring at you, quietly, as if he could see past your walls.
"Spence," you said, your voice quieter than you intended, "Iâm fine. Really."
He didnât respond immediately. His hand rested on the edge of the table, and you could see him fiddling with his fingers. That subtle nervousness he only ever seemed to show when he wasnât sure what to say, but he knew he needed to say something.
"I don't believe you," he murmured, his voice soft but insistent. âIâve seen you too many times to believe that everythingâs okay, especially when itâs not. Youâve been holding it in, and I know thatâ"
"Spencerâ" you started, but you were too late. He was already talking over you, his voice getting faster.
"Please. I just want to make sure you're alright, okay?" He sighed, his eyes briefly darting away before looking back at you. âI just... I care about you."
Everything felt very... loud. Too loud.
He looked at you expectantly, almost uncertain. Maybe, just maybe, he was waiting for you to make the first move.
You cleared your throat. God, you really hated moments like this, when everything inside you seemed to tremble at the prospect of just being honest.
His hand shifted on the table, and before you could stop it, you had reached out to touch his fingers. It was the smallest of gesturesâbarely noticeableâbut it was enough.
For a long moment, you simply looked at each other, the conversation hanging in the air. There was so much unspoken between you, so much left unsaid. Maybe that was the problem.
Before you could stop yourself, the words spilled out of you, quicker than you could catch them. "I love you."
Spencer's face went completely still, his eyes wide as he processed your confession.
You had not meant to say that. You didnât. It was an accident. You werenât ready. You werenât ready to put that kind of pressure on this, on him, on whatever this was.
But the words had slipped out anyway. You stared at him, feeling the heat rise in your face, hoping the ground would swallow you up.
"Sorry-God, I'm sorry," you quickly got up and rushed out of the cafe.
He just sits there. Frozen.
If you could pick one moment to rewind, it would be this one.
Oh, you fucked up big time.
~~~
You had never been more ready to get home, but unfortunately, there was an hour and thirty minutes on the private plane. With him.
Usually, you would spend an entire flight, after a case well done, talking to Spence. But after yesterday? But not this time. Maybe not ever.
You could feel Spencerâs presence beside you, but he was quiet. So quiet. Not the usual playful banter, no sudden bursts of random trivia or observations. It was almost like he was giving you space... or maybe he was just too uncomfortable to say anything.
Your eyes flickered to him once, twice, each time hoping for some indication of what he was thinking. He was staring out the window, a far-off look in his eyes, his fingers curled loosely around a book in his lap. For a moment, you almost felt the pull to apologize again, but the last thing you wanted to do was make him feel obligated to comfort you. You had put your foot in it already. Now, it was time to ride this out and pray it didn't become permanently awkward.
But Spencer, as always, was unpredictable.
"You donât have to apologize," he said, his voice quiet, but it still carried across the cabin, cutting through the engine's hum.
You stiffened, eyes fixed on your lap. Had you been that obvious?
"I wasnât going to," you said, a little too defensively.
He didnât respond right away. You could feel him looking at you, the weight of his gaze making you want to curl into yourself.
âYou know I care about you, right?â He said it so gently, like he wasnât sure how you were going to take it.
You felt your chest tighten. Care about you. Those words. He was still speaking, still looking at you, but it was hard to focus on his words because everything was spinning around that one sentence.
"I do," you replied. You had to stop yourself from saying moreâthere was more you wanted to say, needed to sayâbut you couldnât. Not yet. Not until you figured out where your head was at, where you both were at.
Spencer shifted in his seat. He didnât look hurt, but there was something in the way he held himself. Maybe he was just holding back, afraid to push too hard, afraid of what that push might break.
You finally took a breath and turned to face him. He was still watching you, his expression a mix of concern and... something else. It was the something else that had you questioning everything.
"You donât have to say anything," you added quickly, "I just...said something stupid. I didnât mean to make things weird."
Spencer didnât break his gaze, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Not his usual goofy grin, but something softer. More real. Something... intimate.
"Itâs not weird," he said, his voice still quiet, "Youâre not the only one who gets nervous around here, you know."
You blinked at him, genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"
His smile flickered, a small laugh escaping him before he adjusted his posture and leaned back in his seat. He seemed less tense, more at ease, "Iâm just saying... Iâve had my own share of... feelings. I just didnât know how to... deal with them."
Your breath caught in your throat. Spencer had feelings? For you?
The question hovered between you like an unspoken truth, but it seemed too risky to ask outright. Instead, you glanced down at your hands, the heat rising in your face.
And then, finally, you said something else, the words coming out quieter than you intended: "Do you think... we can just... forget it happened?"
You almost expected him to shrug it off, to offer a playful remark about how awkward it was or how maybe you'd both laugh about it someday. But he didnât do that.
"No," he said softly. "I think maybe... we should talk about it. When weâre ready."
Your heart fluttered. Was this... was this him telling you he was ready? That maybe he wanted to figure it out too? Or was this Spencer, as usual, just giving you a window to process everything at your own pace?
You werenât sure. You werenât sure of anything. But you couldnât deny the weight of his words, the connection that had always been there and that seemed to grow stronger the more time you spent together.
"Iâm not great at talking about feelings," you admitted, looking over at him sheepishly.
Spencer chuckled softly, a breath of amusement. "Yeah, Iâve noticed."
You gave him a sidelong glance, your lips twitching into a reluctant grin. âSmartass.â
"Hey, you started it," he teased, finally breaking the tension just a little. "And Iâll finish it. But not right now. I think... we both need time to think."
You nodded slowly. He was right. You both needed time. The last thing either of you needed was to make rash decisions while emotions were still running high.
"Youâre not mad?" You asked it before you could stop yourself, the doubt creeping in.
"Mad? Why would I be mad?" Spencerâs face was open and sincere.
"I donât know. I just..." You didnât finish your sentence. What was there to say? How could you explain the mess of emotions you were still trying to sort out?
He reached out across the seat, almost as if he was testing the waters, and placed a hand gently on yours. The touch was brief, but it sent a spark of warmth through you.
"Iâm not mad," he said again, more firmly this time. "Not for that."
You were both quiet for the rest of the flight, but the silence between you felt differentâmore like an understanding, like a promise that when the time was right, youâd figure it out together.
It wasn't the one moment you would pick to stay in forever, but it was a moment you didn't mind being in for the rest of the flight.
#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fandom#bau team#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid criminal minds#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid x self insert
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unbearable (roman godfrey x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, handjob, alcohol, graphic imagery, angst, mention of drugs, physical violence (almost), asshole teenage boys
summary: Roman had heard your no, respected your wishes, but now you were wondering how big of a blow it truly was for him to get his sexual advances rejected-- why was he blowing this so out of proportion? was something else maybe going on in that brain of his?
word count: 11,053 (am i on the brink of insanity maybe)
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9
a/n: sorry for the wait!! school is driving me nuts... BUT SO IS ROMAN!!! GRRR, enjoy!!!<333
Vladimir Nabokov, the author of Lolita, once wrote to his wife; "I love you, I'm waiting for you unbearably,"
... Waiting for Roman was unbearable, too.
Shatteringly unbearable. Images of wanting to ball up into a contortion of nothingness haunted me, and the need to become a single entity of anger and despair clawed wounds into my skin. I kept imagining I would grow extra arms to help my body become a circle, an ouroboros, but not stopping at the tail-- a snake eating itself to death.
If I could eat myself, I would. Not like an apple, not with gentle nips-- no, I would sink my teeth into my flesh and tear, rip, pull with all my might. Pull, pull, until I nothing but a gushing wound.Â
This is what Roman was driving me to.Â
Is this a bearable state to be in? Constantly?
If I were to ask myself that question once more, I would answer that I no longer thought anything at all. I refused to. My brain stopped working properly the first time I saw him, anyway. Therefore none of my actions actually mattered. They had no consequence. No consequence at all, just like Roman probably saw his actions.
I should've listened to him the night we got together; "I shut down," he'd said. "I retaliate when I'm angry." Maybe I needed to be diagnozed with selective hearing? It was starting to seem as though I shut my ears whenever he spoke, only listening to the muffled sound of his voice as my pupils formed into pulsing hearts.Â
Still, it seemed I wasn't the only one with selective hearing. If I closed my eyes, I could live through the moment I tried to tell Roman I wasn't up for having sex with him last night. It was like he didn't hear me, didn't register it; but in hindsight, it didn't feel like it was with ill intent.Â
... Maybe this hearing thing actually needed to be addressed. Maybe we both needed a trip to the doctor's office to tell them we couldn't hear or think properly.
While we're there, I think I'd also like to have him referred to a therapist of sorts. Maybe he could learn how to communicate properly and not run off into the night when he doesn't get laid?
Oh, well--Â a girl is allowed to dream. Get a little lost in her head. Sometimes, that's necessary. Especially in moments like these;
I spotted Roman beneath the bleachers with some of his friends, leaning against the metal structure. His hair was styled in the usual heartbreaker style, and the two upper unclasped buttons of his shirt allowed me to glance at the small area of exposed skin-- I spotted the vial of my blood around his neck, and the longer I stood here, I remembered how soft he was to the touch; especially when he was shirtless and on top of me. I hated how I was thinking about him like a dumb cat in heat. Still, I couldn't take my eyes off him; Roman seemed so carefree, laughing with his friends, unaware of how ridiculously handsome he looked.Â
He should be jailed for walking around looking like that. For life, preferably.Â
My eyes focused on the way he lazily balanced his cigarette between his fingers, taking slow, careful drags as he listened to his friend talk in the heat of the weather. Now, Roman was as different from yesterday as humanly possible-- I could still see the quiet, retreated version of him he had become last night after the rejection. The one that had practically thrown a fit about not getting laid, which quickly spiraled into what I could only categorize as a mental crisis. Had he been so shocked by getting a no that he had shot himself into existential dread?Â
And why was his first conclusion that I didn't want him at all?
For a girl who just said she refused to think, I sure did a lot of it. I decided that enough was enough-- I needed to talk to him. Roman was my boyfriend after all, I should be able to do so.
Still, I couldn't remember the last time I felt this small as I made my way towards him, anxiously clearing my throat before I tapped Roman's shoulder. I hadn't managed to put much strength into the tap, and I was almost worried he wouldn't notice me--
One of his friends chimed in with a nasty grin, motioning for Roman to turn around; "Pretty girl, six o'clock,"Â
Roman turned his head to me, and it was clear that he hadn't expected to see me. His smile fell a little as he pulled his cigarette away from his lips, making sure to exhale upwards and away from my face. I spotted my hair ties around his wrist-- knowing he still wore them gave me a sense of ease. "Hey, sweets," Roman teased, casual as ever. "The catwalk ain't here, you gotta go down to the city center for that."
I rolled my eyes, watching the smug smirk form on his face as the rest of his friends snickered. Why was he acting so... normal? "Rome, we need to talk,"
"Well, fuck," he mumbled, turning to his friends with a playful shimmer in his green eyes. "It seems I'm in trouble, guys." It was as though he was egging them on as they all collectively ooh-ed, his loyal spectators, his royal servants.Â
I didn't like this side of Roman. Jock-Roman. There were many sides of him I didn't like, actually. Or was it maybe that I didn't like myself for liking him at all? This was becoming more of a mind-fuck than expected. And if we were to play mind games, I knew where to strike; "Roman, either you fucking talk to me like a grown man, or I sit down in Daniel's lap during lunch today. Your choice,"Â
His head turned towards me with nearly inhuman speed, no trace of any humour on his face anymore. The sudden change was chilling-- I would've shivered, had I not expected it. The oohs only got louder from the group of boys, and I watched Roman's eye twitch as he threw his cigarette down to the floor, stomping it. Still, I didn't break eye contact; I had read somewhere that dogs battled for dominance this way. Since when were Roman and I no better than dogs?Â
Roman turned to his pack; "Scram," he said, nodding for them to leave.Â
They were gone within seconds.Â
He turned to me, a tired look about him. "Talk, then,"
"No," I placed myself before him, watching his green eyes follow me. "That's not how a conversation works. One person says something, and the other one responds. Would you like to try that out, maybe practice a little? It seems you didn't do enough of that in elementary school."
Roman scoffed, rolling his eyes as he stuffed his hands into his front pockets. "How sweet of you,"
"What can I say? I'm patient like that,"
"You'd be good with kids,"
"How great that you're acting like a child, then," I sighed, realizing that I needed a different strategy if I wanted to get anything out of this conversation. For now, Roman remained silent, probably holding back a long string of curses. I took another step forward, and I was immediately embraced by the scent of his cologne. Fuck, how I loved the expensive smell of Roman. Still, I knew I had to get myself together; I let my eyes soften as I looked up at him. "You haven't answered any of my calls or messages... I don't get what's going on in your head. I'm simply trying to understand, but you're just running away. Again."
Roman's eyelids hung heavy over his eyes, lashes fluttering lazily as he met my gaze. He let out a loud sigh; "Maybe I just need space? Did you ever weigh that option?"Â
"... Do you want space?" This was so damn confusing. "You wanted to be as close as humanly possible last night, though?"
Roman scoffed again-- was it a laugh? He didn't say anything as he looked away, possibly to think. Like this, I spotted the vial again; I let out a relieved breath. To be honest, a part of me was worried he'd take it off.Â
Finally, he spoke; "I need some time. Time to think,"
"Think about what?" This was making my heart speed up. "Roman, you're worrying me."
He shrugged, still not meeting my gaze. "Just... time. Is that so damn hard to give?"Â
God, how I hated his tone. Hated the way he spoke to me right now, hated it all. It pushed me to say my deepest fear out loud; "If you're seriously breaking up with me because I didn't want to sleep with you with my parents on the other side of the wall, I sure hope you think very, very carefully,"
"What?" Roman seemed to snap out of it, finally looking at me. His brows were drawn together, confused; "I'm not breaking up with you. Aren't you breaking up with me?"
"What?"Â
"... What?"Â
We both looked at each other with bewilderment. It seemed we had both come to very, very different conclusions.Â
"Roman, I'm not breaking up with you?"Â
"... Why not?"Â
"What?!" It felt like my brain was actively melting-- I groaned, rubbing my temples. "What on earth do you mean, why not?"
"I don't know!" Roman's brain seemed to be malfunctioning as well. He kicked off the metal of the bleachers, his mouth opening and closing as he frantically tried to find the right words. His hands were pulled out of his pockets, flailing; "Fuck, I'm confused! I'm gonna-- gonna hyperventilate, so I need to go. Need to-- Yeah, I'm leaving."
I couldn't believe how fast he took off. I hadn't seen anything like that before. Roman wasn't even running, he was simply walking with very, very long steps, and that was enough to be out of reach for me within seconds.Â
I wanted to scream up at the sky-- what even was that conversation just now? The urge to drive my head into the bleachers became overwhelming, unbearable, but I opted to simply kick the structure instead.Â
That was a miscalculation on my part. I hissed as the blow to my foot sent jolts of pain up my spine, and I winced as I suppressed the need to jump around on my other foot and look like a clown in the process. I cursed, leaning against the cold metal as I tried to steady my breathing.
This day was not going very well so far.
And it certainly didn't get any better when I heard the shuffling of small footsteps along the grass nearby.Â
I should've known-- Letha stopped a few steps away from me, her blonde hair moving away from her face with the passing breeze. I blinked through the pain multiple times to make sure it really was her, that she actually had the nerve to walk up to me again. Sadly, I didn't have Roman to hide behind this time. But she looked so sweet with her hands clasped behind her, along with the unsure little tilt back and forth on her feet; "That didn't look very pleasant," Letha mumbled.
I didn't want to entertain this, yet I did. "What, the kick?"
"Well, that too," Letha's trying smile nearly broke my heart. I hated that we didn't know how to talk to each other anymore. "I meant the fight. Is he acting out?"
"... He's not a child, he's not acting out,"
"Didn't you just call him a child?"
"... He's my boyfriend, we're allowed to fight!" I gnarled. "And who the fuck are you to talk to me about this? How much of that conversation did you hear?"
Letha looked like I had just kicked her. "I always do my homework on the bleachers. You guys chose to fight right beneath me,"
Fuck. "You should've moved, then!--"
"It usually helps to dig into what set him off. And then, when you think you have the answer, rip it apart and look through the pieces," Letha's green eyes bore into mine, shimmering with traces of dimmed hope. "I have no idea what you're fighting about, but I've known Roman my whole life. That's how he operates, and... that's all I wanted to say. Hope I can be of some help."
An awkward silence fell over us like a damp blanket-- this was uncomfortable. Nonetheless, I stilled. A part of me recognized that Letha would've been the first to know of my problems with Roman, had we not had a falling out. Had she not iced me out, made me an outcast, turned all my friends against me, and practically shoved me down into the dirt. I would've confided in her, asked her for guidance, support-- I grieved our bond all over again. I gave in, shrugging; "Okay. Thanks,"
That seemed to take a weight off Letha's shoulders. As we stood in silence, simply gazing at one another, until her eyes slowly landed on my necklace. Roman's blood. It dawned on me that it was too late to tuck it beneath my shirt, and I awaited some sort of grief from her about it if she recognized what it was--
"Oh," she breathed. "It makes a little more sense, now."
"What does?"
"If he wears your blood around his neck as well, then it all makes perfect sense,"
"What does, Letha?"
The look she gave me sent a cold set of shivers down my spine. It was ominous, like I had been marked by death. Letha shrugged; "Of course he's... on edge, then,"
The chase was getting frustrating. "Care to go on, or are you just going to keep saying cryptic shit?"
"I can't!-- It's hard to explain!" Letha's shoulders slumped in defeat as her inner turmoil streaked her face. "Just imagine you're really, really broke, but you have a hundred dollar bill hanging around your neck... and under no circumstances can you use it." Her eyes nearly drilled holes into mine. "Would it not drive you crazy?"
Why did it sound like she was insinuating that Roman was a?--
No.Â
No.
I didn't want to hear this. I didn't bother to give Letha a proper answer before I kicked off the metal of the bleachers, glaring at her as I passed her. "Stay away," I hissed, harshly nudging her shoulder. "Fuck off back to Barbieworld or wherever it is you came from."
As I marched back to the main building, I found it nearly impossible to steady my breathing. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest as I grasped the vial of blood around my neck, rubbing it between my fingers as my mind raced.Â
It was only when I finally got to class and slumped down on the last free seat that I could think back to last night with a clearer vision than before.
The Avoidable Vampirism - The Upir had kept me up long enough to see the sunrise. I wanted to blame it on the author for writing such a captivating book.Â
Still, the one thing I hated about literature such as this, was that it never actually said anything straight-forward. It always had to be a nonsense passage with lots of filler words and even more dancing around the actual message;
"Blood's effect on a upir is as much psychological as it is physical. Upirs tend to escalate small arguments in hopes of an eventual physical struggle, a battle that may wound, without properly understanding why. This may lead to a strong sense of insecurity which often settles in the upir's mind and festers, only drawing them forth to the dark road the curse wants them to venture."
That's what was written in the passage about upirs and blood. Nearly impossible to understand, and even further confusing, right? The worst must've been the passage that was written like a self-help book. Did the author seriously think upirs were real?
... Did I?
"And what happens when a upir is exposed to blood, you may ask? There are levels of control which range from person to person. Some may have gotten accustomed to the smell from having cut themselves in earlier years, and some may go into a spiral which is often misdiagnozed as mania in urban psychological trials. But some upirs are so assimilated, they can do experiments with blood or carry vials of it with them wherever they goâ which is an inclination that should not be encouraged. The more the upir is around blood in a constant flow, the more the irritation festers, the anger boils, and the innate aggression settles."
And this is where I had to stop. I remember putting the book down to stare at the moon in the distance, wondering why on earth I had fallen into a loophole like this. I couldn't believe how many similarities I could draw between these supposed upirs and my boyfriend-- what did that say about Roman? He was possibly edgier than I had initially thought.
The more I thought about the similarities, the more insane I felt.Â
... I needed to return this book to the library.Â
・ďžâ˘âŕ¨âĄŕ§â⢠・ďž
"The both of you are like two rabid raccoons fighting over scraps in the New York City sewers," Peter grumbled, lazily sweeping the floor with his broom.Â
I blinked, no longer rolling up cables as I turned to him. "... Do you have to use the craziest metaphors? And why is it always an animal?"
We had been assigned to clean up after an assembly later that same day, a task I had been able to evade up until now. So, when I spotted Peter also being forced to do this, we both huddled up in the corner of the auditorium backstage and started doing the most mundane tasks with the least effort to pass the time. However, it seemed he had been informed of my petty fight (or whatever the hell this was) with Roman, which was why he was back to making animal metaphors again. "Rabid raccoons..." I mumbled, reaching for a new cable to roll up. "Why the New York City sewers? Why raccoons?"
Peter shrugged; "Uh... Because raccoons are cool?"
Well, that's the thing with boys, isn't it-- there's pure static noise in their brains. I sighed, suppressing a chuckle as I continued my task. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure the teacher wasn't catching us slacking off before I turned back to Peter. "Did Roman maybe mention that he thought I was going to break up with him over this?"
"Yeah," Peter also looked over at the teacher just to double check. "I told him it was nonsense, but he's spiraling. He's also gotten obsessed with the idea of joining a raw meat eating contest."
It was impossible not to roll my eyes. Boys. "Seriously, what is up with him these days? Please, bro-code aside, what the fuck is happening?"
I was sure the stupid upir book was the reason my heart jumped when Peter's gaze went straight to my necklace. It almost felt like he was wordlessly trying to hint something-- no, I needed to get this out of my head.Â
Still, it chimed in my mind like an old clock;
There are even some upirs that are so assimilated, they can do experiments with blood or carry vials of it with them wherever they goâ which is an inclination that should not be encouraged.
Should not be encouraged.
Should not be encouraged.
Peter's voice snapped me out of it-- "I think he's just going through withdrawal,"
"Withdrawal?" I echoed, turning my full attention towards him. That didn't sound good. "What do you mean, withdrawal? From what? He hasn't stopped smoking, if that's what you're talking about."
It seemed to dawn on Peter that he had said something he shouldn't have. His brown eyes widened and he cleared his throat, no longer sweeping the floor as he stopped in his tracks. "You don't know?"
"... You're killing me here,"
Peter sucked in a sharp breath, nodding to himself in defeat. "I would make you promise not to tell him I told you, but I bet you'll want to talk to him about this, so I won't even bother," His grip around the broom tightened; "So... Roman and I used to do coke together. A lot." When he didn't get a reaction, Peter grew visibly nervous. "It used to be the usual thing at parties. Roman always had a stash, and I'd join in from time to time... And he hasn't had a hit for a while, probably since you two got together, so all of this is probably just a part of the withdrawal."
Oh. I had forgotten about this. I blinked, tilting my head to the side as I gazed up at Peter with furrowed brows. Was that supposed to be a big reveal of sorts? Did he seriously think I didn't know that they used to do drugs? That I hadn't seen the both of them leaning over tables, snorting lines as I passed the room to check whether Roman was in there with a girl or not? This confirmed that they didn't notice me that one time I walked in on them in a bathroom while Roman was making the lines neat with his credit card. "Ah, so that's what that was?"
Peter's eyes widened; "... What?"
"The stuff you two were always snorting," Shrugging, I watched the look on his face distort into one of shock. It hit me that he hadn't known the true depths of how obsessed I used to be with Roman, and that I needed to get myself together before I revealed anything further damning; "Peter, I have a little something called vision. And a brain, for that matter. You guys aren't slick."
"We... aren't?"
It was impossible not to laugh, and I reached forward to nudge his shoulder. "Not in the least," To be honest, I was relieved to hear that Roman was coming off drugs and that my ridiculous upir-suspicions had been untrue. Maybe I could finally put all of that behind me and return the stupid book?
... Please. I was afraid I was going crazy.
He scoffed, moving away to continue sweeping the floors with a grumpy look on his face; "Anyway. That's the only explanation I have for you concerning what's up with him, but it's only an assumption. Maybe you should take a step back and let him come to you when he's done freaking out?" Peter glanced at me, almost as though he was plotting something. "Actually... I think I have the perfect thing to take your mind off this."
・ďžâ˘âŕ¨âĄŕ§â⢠・ďž
I regretted it the second I said yes, and I regretted it even more right now.
I had never been the biggest fan of parties, mostly because I was used to constantly getting smacked in the face with the truth that Roman was a bit of a whore (an understatement). So as I stood on the front porch with Peter later that night, surrounded by his friends as I listened to them talk about football (I wasn't paying attention, so I wasn't actually sure of the subject), I couldn't help but feel that same dread as before. I knew that Roman was my boyfriend now, that he wasn't upstairs with some random girl at this party, but the smell of alcohol yanked me right back to the memories. Actually, he wasn't even here at all.
Clutching the empty can of my finished drink, I gently yanked at the hem of Peter's sweater to catch his attention. "This isn't helping," I mumbled, meeting his big, brown eyes. "I feel bad being at this party without Roman... If he finds out, he's going to think I'm here to cheat on him or something. He's insane like that."
Peter sighed, rolling his eyes as he pulled me aside from the group. "Look, you need to relax, okay? I have it all under control,"
"You... what?"
His mouth pulled into a straight line, realizing he had said too much. Again. "Remember what I said about Roman not being here?"
Oh no. Peter had watched too many rom-coms. "For fuck's sake," I breathed, feeling my heart speed up. "Please don't say you told the both of us to come here?"
As annoying as the situation already was, Peter only made it worse by grinning in my face. He shrugged, brushing the severity off; "Last time I saw him, he was playing beer-pong,"
I was two seconds away from wrapping my fingers around Peter's neck and strangling him to death. "So Roman is running around this party drunk, and maybe also high on coke again while he's ignoring me?" Now, I was even closer to ripping my hair out of my follicles; "Oh, what an amazing idea this was, Peter! What a genius you are, this is just fantastic!"
Peter huffed, placing a condescending hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. "He's not high, okay? Just go find him, preferably before he falls over in the pool. I've let him marinade for long enough."
I grimaced-- "Marinade?" I needed to learn to stop trying to decrypt whatever Peter was saying. It never made sense, anyway. "First of all, fuck you. And second..." I took a deep breath, realizing what I was about to do; "... Wish me luck."
My head started pounding to the same rhythm as the song blasting through the speakers when I made my way inside and waded through the crowd. I hated that I was in this situation in the first place, hated that I hadn't spoken to my boyfriend in about twenty-four hours, but most of all...
I hated Roman Godfrey.
I hated the way he made me feel, hated how crazy I had become in my pursuit of him, hated, hated, hated him. However, amid my rage storm, I got a whiff of the scent of cinnamon cigarettes-- that brought me out of the inferno. I could recognize that, mixed with Roman's cologne, anywhere. I instinctively turned, realizing I had passed by the door to the kitchen, and I could be sure my eyes nor sense of smell were deceiving me as I now stood frozen, staring up at my boyfriend's broad shoulders.Â
Roman's back was turned to me, but I could see that he was playing another round of beer-pong with a couple of friends scattered around the table. He hadn't noticed me, and I made sure he wouldn't. Still, the one person that caught my eye, was the girl by the counter next to where Roman was standing. I hid my body around the corner, peeking in past the door to catch another glimpse of the girl--
Fuck. It was Jessica. The girl Roman had flirted with to make me jealous the same day I told Letha I had feelings for him. Everything about her made me sick; the way she was dangling her long legs off the counter, staring up at him with literal hearts in her eyes, and how she twirled her blonde hair around her pinky as she tried to catch his attention with multiple calls of his name.
Roman seemed calm, unbothered, until he finally acknowledged her with an annoyed hum. It was only when he turned to face her, having just finished his turn in the game, that I saw that he was now pulling a cigarette out of his signature red box. I let out a shaky sigh of relief as I spotted my hair ties still hanging around his wrist, but I didn't get much time with my comfort before Jessica spoke up.Â
Her voice was so painfully nasal; "So are you really seeing her?"
Roman's brows drew together as he balanced a cigarette between his slender fingers. God, how I missed his hands on me. "Who?"
Jessica said my name, followed by a pout. "If it's true, then that's really fucking unexpected. I have English lit with her, and she doesn't seem like your type,"
Had I not been desperate to hear Roman's answer, I would've grabbed the nearby lamp and bashed her head in-- alcohol didn't seem to have the best effect on my thoughts tonight. Still, Roman didn't react much, now patting down his pockets for his lighter. "Yeah, I'm seeing her. She's my girl,"
She's my girl. It echoed in my head over and over. My girl.
However, Jessica didn't seem too pleased with this revelation. She rolled her eyes, letting go of her hair; "She's not even a cheerleader,"Â
"And? I'm tired of you lot,"Â
"Romie, come on!" The nickname nearly made me puke in my mouth, effectively wiping my smile off my face. I watched as Jessica proceeded to reach out and put a hand on his arm, pursing her lips like a dumb fucking bimbo-- "I don't think a girl like that could handle you... sexually."
Ew! I wanted to slam my head against the door. Would that relieve the pain of hearing this conversation?
But Jessica continued; "Everyone knows she's been crazy about you for some time now. Everyone except Letha knew, actually, but that girl is more gullible than a lamb! But you must be aware that your girlfriend thinks you walk on water? You're dating the epitome of your fucking stalker. But does that turn you on, maybe?"
Roman blinked twice before brushing Jessica's hand off with a silent scoff (finally). He found his lighter in his back pocket, lighting his cigarette as he rolled his eyes. "Shut your filthy whore mouth," he grumbled, cig sitting between his lips. When he was done lighting it, he held the lighter out dangerously close to Jessica's face-- "I'll burn your disgusting extensions right off."
She didn't seem too phased by it on the outside, but I could see the slight tremble in her hands as she now gripped the counter. Was this how Roman talked to other girls? How had I not noticed this before? "No need," Jessica said, gulping. "I can see you're taking her... seriously." She cleared her throat, letting out a shaky breath as Roman moved away. Jessica didn't have much time with her usual clean air before he blew the smoke from his cigarette in her face, and she quickly fell into a coughing fit.
I realized what I was watching when Roman smiled with evil glee at the sight of her pain. The version of Roman he used to be. It felt like I had opened a portal back to two months ago, before anything between us had happened and he was running around stabbing people with needles to get a rush.
"Of course I'm taking her seriously," Roman said, letting the cigarette rest between his lips. "I actually like her this time, unlike anything I've ever felt for you. She's sweet, and you're like... maggots crawling out from the depths of hell compared to her."
... Ouf.Â
Jessica didn't seem to be taking this very well. Her blue eyes hardened, traces of tears welling up in her eyes as her grip on the counter tightened to the point where her knuckles started to whiten-- "You're lovely tonight, as always," she mumbled, hurt. Her voice grew bitter; "But where is your girl, then? Did you leave her at home to come here alone?Â
Roman exhaled the smoke through his nose with one quick breath, turning to his friends when they called his name. He was thrown the beer-pong ball, and he effectively ignored Jessica's questions to play his turn in the game.
His lack of answers seemed to give her hope that he might stray. Jessica sat forward on the counter, drying any traces of welled-up tears as she lit up. "Oh, Romie," she purred-- I nearly threw up in my mouth again. "It's nice to see you don't change."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Roman turned to her, brows drawn together.Â
Jessica sighed, once again reaching out to rest her hand on his bicep. The worst part was when she gave it a little squeeze and her eyes locked on him--Â fuck. "One girl will never be enough for you. You're aware of that, right?" She moved further to the edge of the counter (could she not fall off already?), batting her lashes; "If you're here tonight because you're not satisfied, I know a few ways to... satisfy you."
That was it. This was sickening. Had I not been so nervous to hear Roman's response, I would've lunged forward and slammed her empty head down to the floor. However, I could only press my body against the wall I was hiding behind, listening to the dampening of my breath as my heart thumped harshly against my ribs-- this was torture. This was complete and utter torture.Â
I'm waiting for you unbearably.
Unbearably.Â
This was unbearable.
It felt as though my chest was caving in on itself, threatening to make me a ball of nothing again, until Roman finally moved; gripping Jessica's hand with two fingers, he removed her off of him as though he was disgusted to even be touching her. "Are you maybe a little hard of hearing? Perhaps you hit your head really hard when you were younger, I have no idea, but I'll make it nice and comprehensible for you, okay?" He exhaled another cloud of smoke, fogging up Jessica's face as he leaned in dangerously close, lowering his voice as he spoke; "I don't want you or your cheerleaders, and I never will again. Never."
I was two seconds away from fainting out of sheer happiness-- my cheeks reddened. This was everything I had ever hoped to hear from him, and my anxieties floated out of my body with my next sigh of relief. I was ready to step into the kitchen and save Roman from this situation, hoping he'd be happy to see me now that he'd had this conversation about his feelings for me, but my plans were abruptly stopped when I heard a familiar voice call out my name.
My anxiety zapped itself right back into me as I froze to my spot, waiting for the wall to swallow me whole, never to be seen again. No, no, no!
I could only watch as Daniel approached me, giddy as ever with a beer in his hand. Were the Gods above playing tricks on me, perhaps? It was clear that he was drunk, and he tried to get his blonde hair out of his eyes repeatedly as he now stood before me, a broad grin on his face. "Well, don't you look nice,"Â
Why was he speaking so loudly? I was afraid Roman would hear and come out to check if his suspicions were correct. "Thanks," I mumbled, anxiously wavering back and forth on my feet as I pondered whether to flee or not. "Look, Daniel, you shouldn't--"
"What, talk to you?" He leaned down a little, his mood immediately shifting as he said my name once more like venom. It was clear in his eyes that he had come up to me with an argument in mind. "Don't tell me the rumours are true and you're actually with that guy?"Â
Oh, how little I wanted to have this conversation. I so desperately didn't want to. Not with Roman at hearing distance. "Yeah, I am,"
Daniel snorted, rolling his eyes as he pulled back with a pretentious chuckle. With the way he was swaying, I could see that he'd had at least five beers or so. It explained the disgusting ramble of words that ensued; "Shit... Didn't think you were brainless like that. You're just a dumb fucking slut just like the rest of them, aren't you? Can't believe I ever thought you were different... Nice guys truly finish last, don't they?"Â
Nice? I grimaced. Did this guy genuinely think he was nice? I was shocked to realize I even thought so of him at one point. My lips parted in shock; I hadn't heard him talk like this before. This was nauseating. Still, I knew I had to snap back-- I was about to speak up, protect myself unlike how I had handled myself during the whole Letha-mess, but I didn't get a chance to.Â
I didn't even have to look to know who was now standing in the door to the kitchen, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest. Roman's eyes narrowed, locking in on Daniel's with a chilling look; "What did you just say to her?" he said, voice low, dangerous.
Daniel's smirk was immediately wiped off his face. "Fuck-- Fuck off, Godfrey. This is none of your business,"Â
"None of my business?" Roman echoed, tilting his head to the side as he feigned confusion. "Nah, that's not how this is gonna go down." He stepped away from the door, nearing Daniel with threatening steps. "You get a little drunk, and suddenly forget you fucking crumble at the sight of me? You're shaking, Goldman, but you have balls enough to insult my girl?"Â
Now that Roman had pointed it out, I immediately saw it. Daniel's hand had a slight tremble as he clutched the can of beer harder with his next words; "You know she could do so much better than you, right?"
I held my breath, watching Roman's every movement. At this point, I was scared Daniel had hit too big of a homerun on that insult.Â
I wondered when Roman would--Â oh, there it was. With one last step forward, he managed to yank Daniel forward with a choking grip around the collar of his shirt. I felt my breath escape me with a gasp, unsure whether to intervene or not. "Roman, don't!--"
It was too late. Roman wasn't hearing me. Selective hearing. "If you wanna go, Goldman, then we're gonna go!" he raged, tightening his grip as he yanked Daniel forward like a ragdoll. "Don't be a fucking pussy, fight me if you're so keen on walking around with a black eye!"
I was both mortified and scared as I watched Daniel's face turn a peculiar shade of purple. I had never seen such a prominent look of fear in my life. His hands were clawing at Roman's as he sputtered incoherent squeaks, and after five seconds too long, Daniel was let out of the death grip. It took even less time for him to sprint out of our sight.Â
Roman turned to me, brows still drawn together in fury. He was catching his breath, and he was not yet out of fight mode when he practically barked at me; "And since when have you been at this stupid party?!"Â
"Ask Peter!" I squeaked. "It was his plan, all of it! He wanted us to talk!" Watching the confusion spread in Roman's green eyes, I cleared my throat before I continued; "Actually, I want us to talk as well... Could we please just?--"
Within a split second, he was gone. Gone. I stood by the wall, lips parting in complete and utter confusion-- how had he managed to disappear like that? Run off like that? Suddenly, my mind shot in a passage from The Avoidable Vampirism;
The classic traits of a upir:
Enhanced strength
Heightened senses
Mesmerization
Unnatural speed
-- No, stop it! I had to physically smack my head to snap out of it this time. Roman wasn't a fucking upir, he was just in withdrawal as Peter said!Â
... Right?
The alcohol was certainly not helping my state right now.
As I stood glued to the wall like the biggest wallflower known to man, I pondered the question that had haunted me all day; why was Roman so scared to talk to me? After I had heard how he spoke of me to Jessica, and how he had just called me his girl to Daniel along with the whole fight for my honour, it surely couldn't be a question of his feelings towards me?
This seemed to be an evening of many flashbacks; Letha's words were suddenly ringing in my ears--Â "It usually helps to dig into what set him off. And then, when you think you have the answer, rip it apart and look through the pieces,"
... Fine. Let's start.
What had set him off? It was clearly that I didn't want to sleep with him last night, right?
Okay--Â Now I had to rip it apart and look through the pieces.
"Aren't you breaking up with me?"Â he'd asked earlier today. Roman seemed genuinely confused that I wasn't there to dump him. Had he really expected me to discard of him so quickly over a simple miscommunication?Â
Then it hit me that Roman might be crazy enough to have avoided me all along because he thought the next conversation would be the one where I'd finish the job.Â
With a loud groan, I started my search around the party. Idiot! I was going to find this man no matter what. If I had to pin him down and scream some sense into him, so be it.
He wasn't downstairsâ I could exclude that after a quick swipe of the floor. I somehow managed to make my way through the dense crowd on the stairs, now checking every room. To be honest, I was terrified of walking in on something I didn't want to see, but a tiny part of me thought it might even be good for me to see just a snippet-- I didn't know much about real sex, anyway. Still, I let out a relieved sigh when I scoured all the rooms without having violated my vision.Â
But my relief didn't last long. I allowed my shoulders to slump as I came to a halt, realizing I had circled the upper floor with no trace of him. The deafening music was starting to hurt my ears, and I was about to cover them when I suddenly heard a loud bang coming from the closet to my right followed by a breathy, angry shit.Â
Oh my. Gotcha. I approached the door with careful steps, holding back a beaming smile as I knocked twice; "Roman...?"
I heard him shuffling around, a short groan following; "... Nope,"Â
It took a lot of concentration to not burst out into a fit of laughter. It felt as though all my anger left my body, unable to concentrate on anything other than how ridiculously cute he was when he was drunk like this. "Can I come in?"
"... That's what he said,"
"Come in? I think you might've gotten it a little twisted,"
I could almost hear him rolling his eyes; "Who are you to argue, virgin?"
Enough was enough. With a small creak, I opened the door to the closet--
Oh.
This was certainly not the sight I expected to see. Roman's green eyes immediately found mine, big with embarrassment. There he was, splayed out on the floor of the tiny closet with a hot pink crop top on his head. I assumed it had landed on him after he fell over, and I tried to take a mental image for later amusement.Â
I was about to laugh-- However, as I closed the door behind me and stared down at Roman's flushed face, almost the same colour as the ridiculous pink crop top, I just melted. Easy as that. All the pent-up anger, all the frustration I wanted to take out on him, it all liquified into molten lava and became one with the earth.
What a mess he was. What an absolute, utter mess. Roman's green eyes were big, huge even, as he stared up at me, his breath coming out in small, ragged heaves. He looked terrified of my next words, like he was bracing for a good verbal beating--
I crouched down, making space between his long legs that practically took up the whole closet. With careful movements, I pulled the crop top off his head and cupped his pretty face; "Rome," I cooed. "You thought I was going to break up with you?"
It felt like I was talking to a child. I was aware I risked Roman exploding on me for taking that tone with him, but I figured he was too drunk to really sense it. "Yeah," he breathed, keening against my touch. "Makes sense that you'd want to."
Fuck, he was unbearably cute, like a lost little puppy. "No, it doesn't," I murmured. Why was it so hard for him to understand? "I'm not breaking up with you. Is that why you've been avoiding me today? Were you worried I was going to do that?"
Almost like a child, Roman nodded. "I just... don't want to lose you. But I fucked up again," he whispered, practically pouting. "I was so mean. Last night and today."
I stroked my thumb over his cheek, watching his response to my attempts at comfort. Something told me he hadn't been held like this before. "Roman... You're not losing me any time soon, and you were obviously a little hurt too. I guess it's a... vulnerable thing to initiate. You're allowed to feel what you feel,"
"But it was wrong,"
"What was?"
"My feelings," he mumbled. "It's just-- I'm not used to caring about a girl like this. Previously, if I didn't get my way, I could leave with no repercussions. But this time, it hit me about ten minutes later on the highway that this was you and not some random girl. You. And I was just so consumed with the urge to... ugh, I don't want to say it out loud, but you know. It gets unbearable at times. I haven't wanted anyone like this before, I just don't know how the fuck to behave!"
I was sure my cheeks were burning. Holy fuck. "Ah... I see," My knees got tired from crouching, so I sat down on the little free space left on the floor. "Look, your feelings aren't wrong. They never are. Your feelings are your feelings. But what I don't get is that I told you I wasn't up for... sex simply because my parents were on the other side of the wall. I would totally be up for it if they weren't. Did you not register that, maybe?"
"I don't know, but... it's not really about the sex. I guess it got me wondering whether you're just a little shy, or if you secretly don't want to be with me anymore," Roman took my hands into his before his gaze shied away. His voice lowered into a barely audible whisper as he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the nearby wall; "You didn't once say you wanted me too. I guess I just concluded you didn't want me at all."
I fought the instinct to freeze. I saw his point, recognized his anxiety (and severe attachment issues), yet I needed to point out one very simple truth;Â "But... I'm crazy about you. You know I want you,"
"No, I don't," he breathed. "You make me feel like a fucking rapist."
"A... What?!" I gave his hands a harsh squeeze-- "Roman, what are even you saying?"
He scoffed, eyeing me with his head still leaning against the wall. Hiccuping from all the alcohol, he spoke; "I'm always on you like a fucking dog in heat. You never initiate, and I'm constantly worrying whether I'm taking advantage or not. And to make that clear, that's not what I want to do,"
All of this was beyond shocking to hear. Was this maybe also the supposed withdrawal speaking? "Rome, you're not taking advantage. Not at all! I'm just... shy, I guess?" I brought one of his hands up to my mouth, pressing my lips against his knuckles. "I never thought you needed to hear me say it too. I'm sorry."
Surprisingly, Roman pouted-- "Say it, then," he whined. Had he been standing, I was sure he'd stomp his foot like a toddler.
I couldn't help but smile. I liked whiny-drunk Roman. "Say what, Rome?"
"Spit it out,"
"Would you stop running away from me then?"
"... Yes,"
I took a deep breath, suppressing a nervous giggle. Roman's green eyes drilled into me, holding me still as I tried to find the courage to say it to his face. It was nearly impossible, and I felt my cheeks flush a rather peculiar shade of pink, similar to Roman's alcohol-flush. And also the hot pink crop top. I was definitely stealing that one.
I let go of Roman's hands, crawling over to straddle his lap. My arms draped around his neck, and he shifted as he looked up at me with those gorgeous, green eyes of his. My Roman. "You already know I'm crazy about you,"
"Yeah, you tree-carving freak,"Â
"Hey!" Now, it was impossible not to laugh. Thankfully, he laughed with me. "But sure, I'll take it. I carved our initials into a tree, and I'd do it all over again. And you know why?"
Roman's eyes practically sparkled; "Why?"
I lowered my face to hover right above his, feeling his hot breath against my parted lips. "Because I crave you. Carnally," I whispered, watching his pupils rapidly widen. "What am I if not yours? Yours to take, yours to claim, yours to... fuck."
Roman's signature smirk was back, shinier than ever. "Now, now, don't be shy with it," he purred, his arms snaking around my waist to pull me flush against him. "Say more."
Fucking hell. There was certainly no space to hold back any longer. "Yeah, you want more?" I had to bite back a smirk of my own. "Don't be a fucking brat, then. Kiss me if you do."
Roman's eyes widened, not expecting me to say anything remotely close to that. Still, his lips parted as his smirk morphed into a blinding grin. With one smooth move, he ran one hand up into my hair, pulling me in for the shortest, sweetest kiss known to man. "I'm impatient," he said. "Go on."
"Brat," It felt nice to finally say that out loud. From the first time I had a proper conversation with him, that word had been stuck in my mind.Â
Roman rolled his eyes, letting me laugh into the needy kiss that followed. It didn't take long before I melted, relishing in the soft pillows of his lips against mine, the feeling I had longed for ever since he stormed off my roof last night. "I want you," I said, mouthing my words into the kiss. "So bad. So, so bad."
Roman moaned-- "More,"
My hands went up into his hair, fingers reaching for the tips of his dark locks to press him further against me as the kiss deepened. I had never felt this desperate before in my life. Still, I somehow found the strength to pull away; I got an idea. "No. We're playing a little game first,"
Roman groaned, glaring at me as he rested his head against the wall. "For fuck's sake," he mumbled. "Now?"
"Now," I placed my hands on his chest, unable to hold my laugh. My little idea was genius. "Have you noticed where we are?"
"... At a party?"
"Where?"
"In a closet?--" Roman's words came to a halt as his eyes widened, and a knowing grin spread across his plush lips. "Oh my."
I hummed, pressing my fingers into his chest. Right now, I was sure I had adopted the classic Roman-smirk; "Up for a round of seven minutes in heaven?"
"... Isn't it a little blasphemous to play without the bottle?" Roman proceeded to laugh, rubbing circles into my thighs. "Actually, fuck yeah. I do."
"Seven minutes," I purred, grabbing my phone and putting on a timer. "You once said that seven minutes with you were enough to show everything I needed to know about being with you in that way..."Â
To be honest, I had no idea what had come over me. Was it perhaps the alcohol? But the intrigue shimmering in Roman's keen eyes told me all I needed to know-- I watched his pupils expand as the hands I had rested against his chest started traveling down his body. And Jessica thought I couldn't handle him sexually? Hah! "It seems it's my turn to show how it would be with me, no?"Â
Roman's lips parted, staring up at me in disbelief; "If you're just teasing me now, I'm going to die on the spot. I swear. My death will be on your hands,"
I could only laugh, biting down on my lip to lower my voice. "Don't you dare," I said, slowly reaching for the clasp of his belt.Â
Watching the widening of Roman's big, green eyes never failed to amuse me, especially not now. "Baby," he breathed, his lips curving into a smile. "Don't fuck with me, I swear--"
"Am not," After unbuckling Roman's belt, I decided to tease him by trailing my hands away from the zip of his pants, my fingers ghosting over his hard-on. It seemed the excitement was getting to him already, and to my surprise, I could feel him hardening beneath my palms.Â
The loud music was so far away now, just as everything else was-- My mind was even further away, possibly residing on the planet Neptune, because how the hell had I managed to convince myself I knew how to do this?Â
Fuck it-- it can't be that hard, right?
Certainly not harder than Roman was now, anyway.Â
This was an enigma to me, all of it. I could only go off instinct; and just as I was about to slide my hand beneath the band of his boxers, Roman grabbed my hand. "Hold on," he breathed, bringing my palm to his lips. "Step one is to never go anywhere dry." His green eyes locked on mine, not breaking eye contact as he placed several wet kisses against my palm, slicking it. Shivers ran down my spine as I felt his tongue swipe along my skin, because fuck, this was intense-- my breath hitched. Roman's soft laugh rang in my ears as he let go of my hand, giving back the control.Â
Fuck. My heart was pounding. Were my hands shaking? I had no idea-- it felt as though I had blacked out for a few seconds, and when Roman pulled me into a heated kiss and brought me back to my senses, my fingers were gently brushing against the hard tip of his cock.Â
I could feel Roman's breath hitch just slightly against my lips, and it immediately made my cheeks burn. What the fuck was I doing? I so desperately hoped no one would walk in on us like this, me straddling him with his dick in my hand. That would certainly only taint my reputation further-- no, actually, fuck that. I wanted to stay connected like this forever, Roman's soft lips moving against mine with a need I didn't remember in him.Â
It took a lot of willpower to break the kiss even just for a second, but it was too damn fucking dark in this stupid closet. I watched as Roman's lashes fluttered, how his chest raised in heaving motions, how the vial of my blood rested against the peak of his sternum-- I decided to go for the wish to kiss him right there.Â
Roman's skin was so unbelievably soft. There was no flavour to it as I swiped my tongue against his collarbone, not even a trace of alcohol from his perfume, and this was the moment it dawned on me that this might be my favourite place to kiss him. I didn't often have access, but when I did, I could feel the soft raise of his shoulders with his every breath-- and fuck, how I loved his shoulders. I finally wrapped my fingers around his length, deciding not to toy with him any longer.Â
He let out a shaky breath just as I sucked down on his collarbone to leave a mark; Roman was long gone now. His head lolled to the side, his breath escaping him with a short huff. "Fuck," he whispered, bringing his hand up to twist into the nape of my neck, pulling me away from him to press the soft pillows of his mouth against mine in another hot, needy kiss.
This was certainly a big difference to the last time we had played this game. We had barely kissed properly, and our lips had only grazed each other compared to whatever this was. I couldn't believe how unbelievably scared I had been the first time.
I smiled into the kiss, remembering our first.Â
Roman cursed against my lips, his hips bucking just slightly into my grip around his cock. With his free hand, he placed his on top of mine, guiding me to pick up my pace.
I realized my heart was almost thumping to the exact same pace as the music downstairs-- "Is this okay?" I whispered, relishing in the short breaths of pleasure spilling from his mouth.
Roman shot me a look, although it didn't look as intimidating as he probably intended; with his lids halfway closed, the hunger for me shone through. "You know damn well,"
It was impossible not to smile. God, I was so crazy about this man. "Rome?"
A hum.
I leaned in closer, pressing a sweet kiss against his ear; "I want you so bad," I whispered, feeling his breath hitch as I kissed down his jaw. "I need you to know that. Rome, I always want you." Never in a million years did I think I'd ever see him like this, panting beneath me, pre-cum spilling from the slit of his cock. Never in my wildest dreams. But he had driven me near mad with his stupidity these past twenty-four hours, so I had no problem bringing him down to the depths of vulnerability with me-- finally, we had switched places.
Roman's hands traveled up my thighs, giving my ass a proper squeeze as he groaned just slightly; "Want you too," he breathed, letting his head rest against the wall as I worked my digits around his length. His lips parted, his eyes shut as his lashes fluttered just slightly; "Always. Always wantâ hah, want you. You know me."
Had I not been so taken with the sheer beauty of him right now, I would've swooned. I was shocked I hadn't fainted from how hard my heart was beating, anyway. "I adore you, Rome. Do you know that?"
A small yeah was Roman's only reply, his head rolling back and forth, thighs clenching, cock twitching. He was close. His next words were rushed, quick; "Fuck, where do I...? Fuck--"Â
"Don't think about it," I murmured, my free hand running gently through his hair. Slowly, I reached for the pink crop top nearby; this was my only solution at the moment. "Just enjoy."
Roman practically whimpered; "Shit, shit, gonna--"
I watched as he threw his head back, panting hard as he spilled into the top. I felt his warm cum running down the inside of it as I stroked him through his high. "Fuck, fuck--" Roman was rambling at this point, failing to steady his breath through it.
My lips parted, feeling as though I had bitten into the forbidden fruit. The image before me gave me a high, unlike anything I had ever had before. It was probably similar to the feeling Roman used to achieve through cocaine use. I took another quick mental snapshot, knowing this was a sight I wanted to keep for later-- only in case of emergencies, of course. I couldn't help but feel a little proud that I had figured out how to do this stuff to him.
Roman blinked twice, his mind slowly returning to his body. He laughed a little at the sight of the hot pink crop top, shaking his head. "Damn," he breathed. "I'm a little horrified I didn't last seven minutes."
Oh, silly boy-- "Nah, I'm glad you didn't. My hand would be cramping up," I leaned forward with a soft giggle, kissing the tip of Roman's nose as he let out a sigh of relief. "And I also proved my damn point."
He blinked up at me as I pulled away. "Which was...?"
The timer rung-- "Seven minutes are more than enough,"Â
"Right. That's my line," Roman tucked himself back into his jeans with a huff, laughing softly in a state of denial. "Definitely didn't expect this tonight... Good job." The corners of his mouth slowly curved upwards as he placed a sweet kiss against my cheek. "I'm just so damn glad we're not breaking up."
I had forgotten about that situation for a few minutes, and being reminded of it again was like being slapped out of a nap. "Of course we're not, Roman," I kissed the tip of his nose as I rolled up the crop top-- that felt wrong on all accounts. "If you get all manic about something like that again, please don't shut me out. I nearly went mad."
Roman's pupils dilated further as he reached for the vial of my blood around his neck, twirling it around his finger. "Yeah, we can't break up... Or else that poor tree would've been vandalized for nothing,"
I rolled my eyes. He was never going to let that go, was he? "Alright, that's enough," I mumbled, watching as Roman brought the vial to his lips to press a short kiss against my blood-- it felt odd but intimate. Was he maybe still a little drunk? "Let's get you home, okay? I'll drive your car." With shaky steps, I got up from his lap, bunching up the crop top in one hand.Â
Roman hiccuped-- drunk. It was confirmed. "I don't want to," he whined.Â
"Come on, Rome, we can't stay in this cramped up fucking closet all night!--"
"Well, what are you gonna do? Throw me over your shoulder and carry me downstairs?"
For fuck's sake. It was impossible not to laugh at that mental image. "We can't stay here any longer! Peter's gonna think we're fucking somewhere, and I certainly don't want to be known as the girl that has sex at parties!--"
"My mom is out of town," Roman said, effectively cutting me off. "Sleep over."
My eyes widened. I knew what that meant. Clutching the damp crop top in my hand, I felt the green of his gaze swallow me whole; "Come on. It'll be fun," Roman got up from the floor, tilting his head a little as he slowly inched forward, making my back hit the wall with the two only steps there were possible to take in this closet. He continued; "Nothing has to happen, but I just... I want to roll around in bed with you in the morning. No interruptions, no parents, nothing. Just us."
I was shocked I didn't become a puddle of mush on the floor. "Just us?"
"Just us," Roman breathed, leaning down to press a short kiss against my lips. But what came next was unexpected; "... And my pet tarantula."
"What?!"
Roman only laughed, his pupils widening with pleasure at the sight of my terror. Some things never change. "Just kidding, baby," he purred, placing a hand on the small of my back as he opened the closet door. And before I had the chance to properly step out of it, he leaned down to whisper against my ear; "It's actually a giant centipede. Lovely pet."
I nearly squirmed out of his grip, shivering. "Please tell me you're joking!"Â
Seriously, when will I ever learn? Roman continued to laugh, waving to a few people who passed us by in the corridor as we walked down the hall. "Of course I am,"
"I'm not leaving with you if you have some creepy animal there, I swear!"
"Fine, fine!" He kissed the top of my head, and I felt him smile against my hair. "There are no scary animals there... Just me."
Before I had the opportunity to answer, Roman groaned loudly as he glanced at the crowded stairs when we approached, rolling his eyes. "Ugh, why do people always crowd the goddamn stairs?" He turned back to me; "I just need to find Peter and swipe my keys--"
"Why does he have your keys?"
"... I was threatening to jam them into the side of this guy's head earlier, but that's not important," Roman shot me a charming smile as though he hadn't just said that. "But just hold onto me, okay? I'll wade us through."Â
So that's what I did; I clutched onto Roman's hand, feeling his long fingers wrapping around mine as he made way through the crowd, occasionally turning to greet a few people he knew. I was so damn ready to get to his place, to lie down on a bed, and get away from this loud music. Still, a part of me knew we wouldn't be able to stay away from each other tonight, and I felt my chest swell with warmth at the thought of what might happen. What would happen.
But just as I was finally relaxed again and the two of us almost made it down the stairs, I felt another hand on my shoulder the same second Roman turned away to say hi to a friend of his. I turned, gasping just slightly at the shock of a cold touch, and the rest of my breath followed as it dawned on me who I was facing.Â
Letha's green eyes were wide, almost as though she had seen a ghost. For a second there, I thought she could read my mind and understand why I was clutching onto a damp crop top. It was still warm-- why was I finding that hot right now? God, I was going insane. But I knew that the sight of Roman and I together would never be a pleasant one for Letha, so I stared back at her with the same bewilderment-- why had she stopped me?Â
Letha's following words were almost icy to the touch, hollow to the ear; "Was I right?"Â
It felt as though my world stilled. Time stilled. Just for a second, I felt as though I could wade my free hand through the coldness of her phrase, and I could wave away the mirage. She was concerned, curious. Had she genuinely wanted to help me get through this fight with Roman?Â
I realized that tonight might be a night of many firsts. My first handjob, my first... time (possibly), and my first step of forgiveness. "Yeah," I breathed. "You were. Thank you."Â
Letha's face softened as a relieved sigh escaped her, nodding her head slowly. It had been a long time since the last time she had heard those words from me. "Any time,"Â
Had Roman not squeezed my hand, I was sure I'd continue standing there, just staring into the eyes of my previous best friend. They looked so, so similar-- Had Letha not been blonde, I would've mistaken them for siblings. Snapping out of it, I turned to my boyfriend who was too busy scowling at his cousin to notice how calm I was about meeting her. "Let's go," he mumbled, repressed jealousy dripping from his voice as another squeeze of my fingers ensued.Â
"Yeah... Let's,"
(a/n: thank you so so much for reading!!! here's PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, if you're interested<333 mwah!!)
tagging those that seemed interested!!<333
@mentallyscreamingsincebirth @putherup @corawithfanfiction @vladsgirlxx
@iamaslytherin0 @sexualparkour @the-universe-is-complicated @heavenly-bratt
@lafemme-nk @namiusedbubble @useyourwandbro @strmborns @literally-lani
@virgosapphire79 @star-girl-04 @veyzus @ddipotassium @pecxiebu
@mil88691 @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @katifefe @sn0wybowie-blog
@moochiester @zizuras @blackbluerose666 @rosecoloureddudez
#roman godfrey#hemlock grove#roman godfrey x reader#x reader#bill skarsgĂĽrd#fanfiction#oneshot#bill skarsgard#angst#fanfic#highschool!au#hemlock grove fanfiction#bruhhh there is so much information in this chapter i'm so sorry#and i'm sorry about the crop top#actually no i'm not#thank you all for being so patient with me!!!#ily<3
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GO3 better have crippling longing.
I mean, I wanna see Crowley and Azeraphile both crack under their respective weight of Azeraphiles' choice to go to heaven.
I wanna see almost touches, almost hugs, I wanna see Azeraphiles face drop every time Crowley moves out of his reach.
I wanna see Crowley make ENDLESS petty jabs about how Azeraphile abandoned him and doesn't care about him for who he truly is. (IE: not an angel/not perfect) we all know how he talks to his plants is the internal dialog he talks to himself in, every waking minute of every day.
Give me that PROJECTION!!
Give me Crowley being disgustingly formal with Azeraphile. Always calling him "your Grace," "Supreme Arch angel," with a little smart-ass bow.
I want Azeraphile to be getting more and more cunty and bitchy in his..well everything. Basically, make him hold THIS energy for the entire first half of the film.
Make our favorite marshmallow man, match that goth boy energy to a 'T'!!
I picture the gang in the bookshop with Muriel, Maggy, and Nina. They are trying to work out a plan. Crowley hunched over Azeraphiles desk, and as they talked, the double meanings were so sharp that it's making the room tense AF. (Think kids watching their parents fight.)
Nina gets uncomfortable and is like, "I'm gonna make coco. Muriel and maggy! Come help me!"
I want a slow, tense moment of Crowley just
And then BOOM!
"Why didn't you go with me to heaven!?"
"Why didn't didn't you go with me to Alpha centauri!?"
"Why didn't you tell me when you hired the witch hunters to find the anti christ!?"
"Why didn't you tell me you already knew where the anti christ was!?"
They're breathing hard and circling each other. Getting it all out in the open: why? Why? Why!? Every miscommunication. Every missed signal. Voices rising louder and louder
Until FINALLY
"..Why did you kiss me!?"
Silence.
Crowley is visibly uncomfortable. Azeraphile has him cornered, physically and emotionally.
Crowley huffs a hard, angry breath and goes to put his sunglasses on. Azeraphile, in a moment of pure upset, rips them out of his hands and breaks them. I picture him just snapping them in half and grabbing Crowley by the lapels and slamming him into the nearest bookshelf. A callback to this moment.
"You will answer me this one question." Azeraphile huffs through his teeth. "If it is the last thing you ever say to me, then so be it."
Pause again on Crowleys face. Pained, angry as hell (ha ha pun) flustered, and definitely wanting to lean in, eyes flickering to Azeraphiles lips.
they just hold there in that pause.
Azeraphiles fingers find their way up slowly. Finger tips oh so gently dancing on Crowleys jawline. Eyes scanning one another.
They've been apart for so long. Just one little touch. That's enough. It's enough. Please, someone, let it be enough.
"I think you know exactly why, Angel."
I would also love it if this was the first "angel" drop since they were reunited.
If they don't make Azeraphile absolutely ravenous and completely starved for Crowley and Crowley knows it but keeps riding that line between "admit you love me" and "fuck you I'm so angry at you".
#good omens crowley#good omens fanart#crowley good omens#good omens#good ineffable omens#good omens 2#good omens 3#good omens ao3#good omens aziraphale#good omens brainrot#good omens drabble#good omens kiss#good omens fandom
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I know most of the fandom is into Matoba bc he is the bishonen edgelord who swoops around being vaguely threatening and can also have toxic yaoi with Natori. I get it and if he was a girl maaaybe it would work on me? unfortunately i am a lesbian who's not into that so he's just a weirdo who won't stop harrassing a 15-16 year old boy to me. (jk he is a good character i don't like him but when he's involved it's usually interesting)
but he's also like. so incompetent at his goal of recruiting Natsume it's hilarious
Natsume is pretty easy to win over. Natori was shady as hell to him in their first couple meetings and Natsume was still willing to be friends. If you're nice to him, he'll just immediately be like "oh you're good I like you ride or die". It also takes a lot for Natsume to actively dislike you! It would probably be pretty easy to get him at least on good terms if you wanted to manipulate him....if you have even an ounce of chill and subtlety.
(Actually manipulating him would be a lot harder, because Natsume's better at reading people than he gives himself credit for and is very principled and strict about the lines he won't cross. But working up to it and making him sympathize with you would be pretty easy)
But no. Matoba's like. Hmm. I'll try kidnapping him let's see if that works. ok well what if I shoot his cat yokai that he seems to consider family with an arrow for no real reason, poisoning that kitty so he's sick for several days. I'm sure this will make him receptive. Wow he's still not over that, he doesn't like me? kid really holds a grudge.
Okay I'm really going to try hard now how and reveal i've been invading his privacy by extensively researching his childhood history and I'm not going to list his traumas out and tell him his family might not want him if they knew the truth. oh he actually got up and tried to leave maybe that was a little over the top?
Maybe if I act like a creep and whisper in his ear. ok no he doesn't like that.
okay well what if I try to hurt his cat again and try to convince him his cat doesn't love him! man why is he still trying to protect the cat didn't he hear me???
okay just throw him in a jail cell I guess. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do at this point.
oh I have a good idea this time. I'm going to blackmail him. Just straight up threaten to out him to his family. Tell him I'm going to let his family know all the terrible things he's been through and that they can't stop these bad things from happening to him. cool yeah now he has to come along with me. But for some reason he still says he doesn't want to join my emo clan...but why???
#i do actually have a much stronger dislike for characters who terrorize and manipulate children than like. someone who kills people.#I guess a protective instinct get away you creep#natsume's book of friends#takashi natsume#natsume yuujinchou#meta
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â enhypen links [hyung line]
tags: hyung line!enhypen x fem!reader, established relationship, squirting (like . a Lot), daddy kink, oral sex (f. receiving), unprotected sex (plz don't), creampie, rough sex, exhibitionism, bondage, edging, overstimulation, punishments, spanking, nicknames (princess, angel, etc), degradation (slut, whore, etc), reader being a brat, slight dacryphilia, etc
wc: 2.35k
add. notes: reposting bcs blr shadowbanned the last post BOOOOO also plz do not interact if u r a minor!!! look away shoo shoo!!! n also do lmk if some of the links r not working for u guys :] Also. sorry one last thing but u can tell how these answers got progressively longer LMFAOOOOO
. . .
⼽ ⌠LEE HEESEUNG:Â
link one.
heeseung loves making you squirt, it's a given knowing his ego and how much pride he takes in the fact that he's the only one who can make you feel so good. some days, he'll fuck up into you until you're shaking and squirming on top of him, crying out wanton moans of his name and incoherent pleas begging him to stop, but he doesn't listen of course. his one and only goal when engaging sexually with you is to make you shoot streams of liquid all over his dick and sheets, and he'll stop at nothing to achieve that. i'd even go so far as to say he can be pretty mean, although i wouldn't put him at the top of that list when comparing with the rest.
"seungie, please!" you sob, fresh tears streaming down your face as your boyfriend milks a third orgasm from you. "just one more, angel. you can do it." heeseung grunts, his cock painfully sensitive after having already cum inside you. but, of course, that won't stop him from giving you the fuck of a lifetime. his current goal right now is to make you cream all over his dick, but what he doesn't expect is clear droplets to be released from your pussy as he overstimulates you. your body slumps on top of his, tired and spent, but it's only a matter of seconds until you're being manhandled onto your back. before you can even ask what he's doing, your boyfriend cuts you off. "i need to see you do that again." he grins wickedly, and you sigh. it's going to be a long night today.
link two.
whenever you act out in front of heeseung, like going so far as to tease him in front of his friends by sending promiscuous photos of yourself or running a hand sensually against his clothed bulge, he never hesistates to put you back in your place. sometimes he'll be so pent up after trying to have enjoyed a boys night out only to have cut it short because of your raunchy actions, he won't even make it past the living room, dragging you towards the couch and yanking your panties down before he's sheathing himself inside you. he'll grip a fistful of your hair whilst drilling himself into your cunt, making sure to remind you who's in charge despite the fact that you both know you'll never learn your lesson.
"you wanna act like a slut, i'll fuck you like one." heeseung growls, his thrusts sharp and precise with the way he's delivering them inside you. by now, you've been reduced to a mess of gasps and moans, too fucked out to speak, which only makes your boyfriend chuckle darkly. "what, now you wanna go all quiet on me? what happened to all that attitude, princess?" he mocks, his palm striking a harsh slap on your ass which makes you yelp. "s-sorry, 'm sorry!" you whine, trying to push back on him with a hand, but heeseung only swats it away, tsk-ing at your behavior. "oh, it's too late for sorry, baby." he mumbles, bending down close to whisper in your ear, his words making you shiver. "i'm gonna fuck you until there's nothing left in that stupid, little whore brain of yours. and you're gonna take it. got that?"
⼽ ⌠PARK JONGSEONG:Â
link one.
jay loves giving it to you like he'll never be able to fuck you again. his movements are always precise, hitting that spot hidden deep inside of you with each angled thrust. his favourite way to have you is on your back in missionary too, both your legs hanging off the side of his waist as he pounds himself in you, making sure to coax lots of sweet noises from your mouth that he knows only he can make you let out. it's no secret that you love it too, relishing in the way his muscles flex as he thrusts inside your cunt that he's already cum in, his only current goal to make you cum once more before he'll pull out and wipe you down. or, if he's feeling particularly up for it, he'll continue fucking you even after you've both cum for the second time, making sure you're both overstimulated and tired by the end of things.
the only sounds audible by now are the noises of your loud whimpers and skin slapping as jay brutally bullies his cock in and out of you, your hands shooting out to resist his actions despite the fact that he's so much stronger than you. your attempts to resist him are completely futile, and it only makes him laugh sadistically at you struggling to take him. "aww, 's too much for you, honey?" he coos, and you only cry out with a nod, strings of curses leaving your lips at an expertly placed thrust that slams deep inside you. at this point, you're worried he's going to batter your cervix to a pulp, but that thought is long lost when his thumb comes down to swipe at your clit. "don't worry, sweetheart. daddy's gonna make sure he fucks you until you're crying, yeah?"
link two.
every once in a while, namely when you're both too lazy to indulge in it, your boyfriend will forego the dramatics and fuck you with nothing but love in his eyes. he'll kiss you so sweetly, his actions nothing short of gentle yet firm with the way he'll grip your waist and push himself into you bit by bit until you're clenching down on him in utter pleasure. he'll revel in the way your tits bounce in his face, leaning down to capture one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking on it which only makes the coil in your stomach that much closer to snapping. it won't take long until you're both reaching your highs, you creaming around jay's cock and him shooting ropes of white deep inside you to the point you can feel it gushing out from how much there is.
"fuck, princess. don't squeeze me like that, i'll cum." jay groans, confused when you simply shake your head with a moan. "wan' your cum, jjongie, please." you beg, and his heart positively melts because who is he to deny the request of such a beautiful girl, no less his own beautiful girl? it's only when you clench down on him and grab his hand to bring it up to squeeze your chest when he feels the band in his lower half snap, emptying himself inside of you with a long drawn grunt that only pushes you off the edge. there's so much cum that you can feel it seep out of your hole when he goes to pull his softening cock out, watching him eye it in awe. "you're so perfect f'me." jay praises, kissing you gently on the lips as you muster a tired smile back.
⼽ ⌠SIM JAEYUN:
link one.
firm believer of the munch jake agenda just like anyone else because have you seen the man? his oral fixation goes craaaazy, up until the point he constantly needs to have your clit throbbing against his tongue as he drags the wet muscle through your folds. jake will happily spend hours upon no end between your thighs, his face buried into your cunt as he noisily whines into it. everything about it is intoxicating to him; your scent, the way your arousal leaks onto the sheets, how your tight hole clenches in need, all of it. he'd die a fulfilled man if you smoothered him to death in the midst of his endeavours so as long as it's because of your pussy that he's passing away. of course, you think he's a little insane, but you love him regardless.
"mm, jakey.." you whimper, feeling your boyfriend lick into every crevice of your core with meticulous precision, so focused on the task at hand that he doesn't even bother to pull away and only responds with a hum. before you can even get a word out, he's dragging his plump lips up to wrap around your swollen bundle of nerves, not caring how sensitive you may be because to him, this is the sweetest treat of all. "s-shit, 'm gonna cum." you whine, trying to warn him as the band in your stomach grows closer to snapping, but jake doesn't let up. he continues to eat you out even through your orgasm, his chin getting splattered with your juices in the process as he messily slurps everything up. by the time he finally pulls away, you're panting heavily, but your boyfriend is far from done. "again, please." he bats his puppy dog eyes at you, and who are you to deny him?
link two.
jake is also a certified freak. he's into risky situations where anyone could catch him, which makes sense when you consider how your picnic date with him turned into you getting absolutely wrecked by his dick inside your pussy. it started out so innocent, with you in your little sundress, and him in his favourite hoodie, but all of that was soon discarded and you were on your back against the scratchy grass, gushing around your boyfriend's cock as he pummeled into you with a fervor you'd never seen him have before. something about the prospect of fucking in public turned him on so much, and if you were being very honest, it turned you on too.
"ah, jake. we r-really shouldn't." you stutter, feeling your boyfriend's mushroom tip catch against your clit. you shuffle on the uncomfortable bed of grass underneath just as jake hushes you, slowly pushing himself in with one fluid motion that makes the both of you sigh in relief. "sorry, baby. you just looked so good in your pretty little dress, i had to have you." he groans, hiking said dress up your thighs as you whine, kicking your legs up. jake seems to get your cue because before you can continue pleading him to move at last, he's thrusting into you, thick cock plunging deliciously inside. your noises are loud, and there's no way anyone could mistaken what you two are up to if they were to pass by, so you really are glad for the fact that the entire area is deserted, especially considering that once jake's started, he's going to be insatiable, sure to cum inside you at least twice before he even thinks of taking you home to repeat the process all over again.
⼽ ⌠PARK SUNGHOON: Â
link one.
sunghoon's a perv, and like any other perv, he has his secret fantasies; your panties. even before he started dating you, he'd dream about fucking you after having tugged your underwear to the side, pushing his cock in your tiny hole while the flimsy article of clothing you've yanked aside becomes wet from your leaking juices, even better if it's after he's cum on them. sometimes, when he wants to punish you, he'll fuck you through your panties, making sure he indulges himself without directly giving you what you wantâ his seed. he'll even go so far as to edge you, cockhead bumping against your clit through the messy fabric, just enough stimulation to build up your orgasm, but not enough to have you tipping over the edge. how mean, indeed.
"hoonie," you cry, tears welling up in your eyes out of frustration after your fourth ruined orgasm, especially since this is the second time your boyfriend has cum, much less without you. "what is it now, you ungrateful slut?" he spits out, eyebrows furrowed in a glare as he stares you down, making you gulp. sunghoon got mean a lot, and each time he did, it never failed to have you leaking everywhere. "wan' cum. wan' your cum, too. please. 'm sorry. i'll be good, please." you beg shamelessly, and your boyfriend laughs with a sinister air to his voice. "oh yeah? you're sorry?" he bites his lip, admiring the way his cum has stained the pretty pink laces you've worn today. "too fucking bad." he hisses as he slides his red tip against your clothed clit once more, making you whine. "sluts don't get cum. they get punishments. so, be a good bitch and take what i give you."
link two.
tying you up is one of sunghoon's favourite things to do to you in sex. he loves the way you look, all pliant and moulded into the position he desires to have you in, especially with how the silk of the fabric decorates your skin. of course he'll kiss away the bruises you get after you're done, but that'll only be after he's had his way with you. he also gets off on the power trip it gives him. when you're bound by some material to the headboard, it gives him the liberty to do whatever he wants with you. it's like you're giving your body up as bait, except instead of missing out on it as the predator, he's seizing his opportunity to have his way with you, and boy does he enjoy it far too much.
"oh, my pretty angel. you look so beautiful like this, completely spread out and at my mercy." sunghoon purrs, his cold fingers grazing the skin of your back as you shiver. your face is muffled by the pillows he's buried your head against, the position your boyfriend has tied you up in this time leaving no room for speaking when you're ass up in front of him. you'd be a liar if you said you didn't love relinquishing control and satiating his desires like this, plus sunghoon always fucks you so deep whenever he has you bound for him. "now," sunghoon licks his lips, pumping his free cock in one hand as he brings it up to your opening. "i'm gonna fuck you, and if you stay quiet, maybe i'll think about letting you cum." your eyes widen, a quiet moan escaping you when he suddenly enters. it dies down in your throat when you feel a harsh slap land on your inner thigh. "i said be quiet, slut." sunghoon growls, causing you to swallow. oh, you were royally fucked.
. . .
comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3
#â° sunny's links!#enha x you#enha smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen x you#enhypen smut#heeseung x reader#heeseung x you#heeseung smut#jay x reader#jay x you#jay smut#jake x reader#jake x you#jake smut#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon x you#sunghoon smut#this better work this time.#i will not stand for this injustice!!!!#anyways enjoy LOLZ
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euphoria
genre: smut ish idk(18+ / mdni), college au, asshole seokmin ...
tags: oral (m receiving), pet names (sweetie, baby), idk. he's kinda condescending lol
w/c: 2k
a/n: @cryoculus U SENT AN ASK ABT SOMETHING LIKE THIS LIKE A YEAR AGO IM CRYING T-T i'm sosorry if this shit doesn't make sense i wrote the whole thing while high idk what happened to this .... it's a little different from what u asked but i hope u enjoy!!! also thanks to em for reading this over for me (i didn't trasnfer any of the edits she gave me because i'm lazy but it's the thought that counts <3)
[11:41 PM]
You have a feeling you're going to get an earful from your friends the next morning, but as Seokmin's warm fingers wrap around your wrist and tug you through the hall, you can hardly say you care.
It's not a big deal! You swear!
It's just ... you might have boasted about not being a victim of the thirteen heartthrobs of campus a few nights before. And ... you might be heading off to a fun, fun night, hand in hand with one of such proclaimed men.
Fuck.
It's not like you intended to end up in a bed with Seokmin tonight but also ... everyone knows Seokmin's different. Isn't he?
He's a sweet boy with a sweet smile and a sweet mouth. Girls loved him, boys loved him, professors loved himâeveryone damn person on campus loved him, and maybe you kinda loved him too.
It just happened so naturally, you swear! Catching up over a beer and the blaring technoâyou two were partners in one of your first labs, and you think it's just on brand for him to still remember you years laterâcasual pleasantries and greeting hugs soon turned into sly remarks and hot, brisk touches.
He was leading the way before you know it, out to his car and to his place andâokay, you get it! You get it! Everyone knows you aren't fond of those 13 boys but, you meanâthis is Seokmin. There's no way he could be an asshole, right?
[12:05 AM]
Your skin is on fucking fire.
Pushing you against the door as soon as you get into his apartment, Seokmin's lips are on yours and you swear you're in heaven. Plump lips sucking against yours, tongues kissing in your hot mouths as his hands run all up and over you. Grabbing at your skin, massaging the soft flesh of your waist, thigh slowly slotting between yours and something inside of you just melts at the thought of what's going to happen tonight.
Because holy hell, Seokmin's a nice guy, but something about the way his fingers are firm on your skin, teeth clashing against yours as he kisses you deeply as he presses you into the door ... shit, you might just go crazy.
He's whispering in your earâall that "tell me when to stop" stuffâand then you're nodding, tellin' him that you "need him now," and so Seokmin wastes no time before tugging you into his room. He gently pushes you toward his bed, the back of your knees hitting the mattress and crumbling against the sheets. Standing by the door, under the dim light on his nightstand, you catch the golden glow of his skin and something in your core quivers.
"You look ... really fucking hot," he says all breathy and all, walking closer to you at steadfast pace that increases along with your heartbeat.
Fuck, he's really hot. Veins all big and bulging as he gets nearer and nearer untilâfuck, he's standing right in front of you. Waist right by your head, you swallow a hard but bubbling lump in your throat, glancing up at Seokmin's pretty, pretty eyes.
"G'na suck me off sweetie?" he says so kindly you might just fold in on yourself at the thought of having his dick in your mouth, and so you nod your head with your lips parted and eyes wide.
Now, there isn't really anything kind about the way he grabs your hand, placing them on the belt of his jeans as he watches you expectantly. "Well go on baby," he coos and then you realize for a moment that Seokmin might not just be as kind as he lets on but ... oh fuck, he's so damn hot when he watches you from above, dark glint in his eyes when you work your fingers through the belt.
And so in your horny haze, lust pounding in your bloodstream, you unzip his jeans and tug down the waistband and his boxers in one go. His cock slips out, all hard and glistening from the pretty beads of pre-cum that dribble over the veins, the curves of his length.
You're so distracted by the mere sight of him, his tight shirt also riding up his abs and giving you a glance at the peaks and valleys of muscle that lie beneath. Seokmin pulls you back into reality quickly when you feel something hard and sticky hit your cheek andâoh.
Fuck, you wonder when you started being turned on by such dirty things.
Your hot cunt clenches when you feel Seokmin's thick cock gently slap on your other cheek, lips finally parting and instinctively sticking your tongue out. "Finally picking up, huh ..." he mutters and you think you might cum in an instant. "There you go sweetie," Seokmin continues, wrapping his hand at the base of your cock and letting the heavy tip fall against your tongue. "You know what to do, don't you?"
It sounds like a challenge, almost. That little glint in his eye and your mind's going dizzy at just the taste of his cock. Fuck, you're going to have one hell of a night.
[08:14 AM]
Damn it.
When you open your eyes the first time this morning, you realize you're in a bed, naked, and it would all be fine if only it wasn't any bed but yours.
God-fucking-damn it.
It rings in your head as you blink awake, only to be clouded with images from the night before ... your fingers digging into the hard muscle of a tough back ... hot, sticky skin flush against each other, strings of curses flowing from your lops ... fat cock stretching you out while it's buried s'deep inside of you ... hisâ
Lee Seokmin.
Oh my god.
Oh my god, you just slept with Lee Seokmin.
Fuck, you're friends are never going to let you hear the end of this when they find out you had sex with Lee fucking Seokmin just the night before.
You jolt out up at the realization, frantically looking around only to find yourself alone in his room. Where the hell is he? Your mind races through all the possibilities: You know you're at his apartment but is here too? Somewhere else? There's no way he left you here alone ... right? Oh my godâdid he sleep next to you? Where in the fuck isâ
You throw the blanket off your body and attempt to slide off the bed to figure out what the hell is going on, but just as you do so, a pang of pain streams through your lower half.
A soft whimper escapes your lip at both the pain and the realization that Seokmin fucked you so good the night before that he's left you sore all over. God, you can't remember the last time you had a fuck this good.
Just as quickly as the thought pops into your mind, you push it away. What are you thinking?! You shouldn't be thinking like thisâfor fuck's sake, you told everyone that you'd never, ever sleep with one of them! Even Seokmin, despite his sunshine allegations. Should have fuckin' known he wasn't the sweetest one of the lot ... but looking back on your night, you're not sure if you cared.
After all, Seokmin was hot. Hot as hell, andâ
Your thoughts are interrupted by the creak of a door. Instinctively, you grab the sheets and bunch it up close to your chest, hoping to shield your bare body from whoever walks. The first thing you see when you glance at who's walked in a familiar, chiseled jawline, and a deceivingly sweet smile.
When you take another second to glance over his figure, something in your stomach churns. He's shirtlessâof-fucking-course he isâwith dark se
"Morning sweetie," Seokmin sings, and you swear you hear a tinge of that mean, mean voice you heard last night. He walks in with a glass of water, and you don't say anything as he walks over to the side of the bed you're on. You clutch the sheets closer to your chest, and you swear you hear him chuckle softly. "I've seen you in much less prettyânot sure why you're hiding now."
Your cheeks burn at the statement, and you break eye contact, unsure of what to say. "I ... Iâwhatever. I should probably head out," you say softly, eyes stuck on the ground as you reach for your panties that somehow ended up on the ground overnight.
You feel Seokmin's gaze on you as he walks over, holding his arm out to you. You don't move, and he rolls his eyes.
"C'mon, take the drink," he urges you, holding the glass closer to your lips. You narrow your eyes at him. "It's just water," he chuckles. "You know you want some."
Huffing, you open your mouth, eyes locking with Seokmin's. You're challenging him before you even realize it. You never took him as the confrontational type, but with some unknown buzz coursing through your veins, something inside you wants to see what'll happen when you push his buttons.
Something tugs at the edge of Seokmin's lips. You swear it's a smirk, as he holds the glass to your lips, tipping it slightly so the water meets your mouth. Slowly, you drink as he feeds you, and all is normal until he tilts it a little to high andâ
"Ohâoh oops," Seokmin coos when you glance down, water spilling all over your collarbone and slipping under the fabric of his duvet that covers your chest. A few drops dribble past the corner of your lips and off your chin as you glare at him when he pulls the glass away. "You're gonna have to clean up the mess you made, you know?"
You scoff, hugging the cover closer to your chest. "You mean the mess you made," you shoot back, slightly cringing at the feeling of wet cloth against your skin. Seokmin's closer to you now, and you're trying to not let it get to you.
His hips are positioned close to your head, bare abdomen right in your direct line of sight, and you swear there's a tent in his pants but you also swear that you're trying not to look butâ
"C'mon, you know you wanna," Seokmin tells you, and suddenly his hand is on your chin, tilting your head up to look you in the eye.
"Wanna what?" you retort.
"Stop playin' hard to get sweetie," Seokmin scoffs, and you hate the way you feel a gush between your legs. "You know you want me to clean you up."
"I don't know what you're talking aboâ"
You cut yourself off with a small gasp of surprise when Seokmin drops to his knees by the edge of the bed next to you, positioning himself right by your legs. His face is close to your covered chest now, but almost instinctively, you loosen your grip on the duvet. Seokmin notices, and smirks.
"There we go," he hums, fingers tracing over the figure of your body as he scoots closer. He inches his face closer to your neck, nose brushing of your collarbone making you shudder. "Drop the act baby ... we both know there's a reason your still here."
You contemplate the different ways that this moment can go down, but all of them end with the same vision: hot, heavy, wet, andâ
"Please," you whimper, spreading your legs over the edge of the bed so Seokmin can place himself right between them. "Please," the words escape your lips again, even more desperate than the first.
You feel Seokmin's lips curve at the sound, and all you can think about is how in the world you're going to explain this to your friends.
God fucking damnit.
#dk x reader#seokmin x reader#dokyeom x reader#dokyeom smut#seokmin imagines#seokmin smut#lee seokmin x reader#lee seokmin smut#dk smut#đ drabbles
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Danny Runner - Updates
Update #2 for the Danny Runner website! A lot of characters are still missing (there are a lot that we have to re-design and upload, yup), but we updated the info, a lot of links, some worldbuilding and... uh... there are a couple of technical issues, but you could start to enioy the site too!
Also, since we explore it through the screen of a laptop, if you have a tablet or a smartphone, could you please tell us if the stuff is visible and if links work? Thanks in advance!
#project regis irae#danny runner#website#update#oh boy I'm loving working on this little thing#complete danny phantom rewriting#OCs#OC#ghost worldbuilding#uhm also... we wanted to say... do not get spooked#there's some minor spooky stuff in the site#we're preparing for halloween!#and this whole thing is about ghosts#so the general vibe is much spookier than the original show#so yeah#tiny spook TW?
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking âoh boy she's gonna love this :)â#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say âi'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're wellâ#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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Thinking about Andrew Minyard and Neil Jostens healing their inner child together tonight.
#they would let themselves feel all the scary things that little Neil and Andrew felt and tell them that it's okay to feel that way and they#would work through it together#oh oh boy ouch now I'm crying#they would do it together#and it would be so sweet#and they are so in love and I'm crying#all for the game#aftg#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#them healing their inner child through one anther
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âď¸ KĂśnig headcanons
Oooooh thank you Anon, I love KĂśnig very much <3
- The man is extremely capable in his work and has no problem leading a high risk mission, but the moment he's not working, his anxiety creeps back in. I think there's a huge difference between KĂśnig and the man behind the name and mask. He feels safe and strong as KĂśnig but as a civilian he hates how much he stands out, how much people are looking at him when he's outside, and he has a very lonely existence because of it.
-Where some other operators / characters wear masks for anonymity, KĂśnig 100% wears his because it makes him feel confident, makes him feel intimidating and accentuates that KĂśnig/The man behind distinction. Doesn't help that he's a pretty boy and that people used to not take him seriously because of it, thus leading him to wearing a mask.
- Ginger, 100%
- Struggles with mental health a lot, and I hc that someone important (family maybe?) gifted him that red bracelet from his arachnid skin. He seems like someone who would be close to their mom to me.
- Not really a hc but I just want the 141 to adopt him. I've seen fanart of him and Gaz being friends and it melted my poor heart, and I think Price should take him on a fishing trip someday.
NSFW below, in case you don't want to read
- Subby top, the man wants, NEEDS to be told what to do in bed. He's not very experienced and fumbles a lot through the act, but has a lot of energy and love to give. He's into wearing lingerie but feels extremely ashamed of it, thinks he's too big and manly for it. He'd need a partner to guide him, tell him what to do, treat him like he's the most beautiful thing in the world, reassure him and praise him while he's ravaging said partner. Big guy.
Have a little screenshot edit of him
#kĂśnig#kĂśnig cod#cod#yeah yeah I saw 'social anxiety ' in his bio and projected a little too much what can I say#I know people have a lot of feelings about him being treated like a shy uwu baby when he's a merc#but I like a middle ground - I think you can be a strong and competent person and still be shy#I'm an extremely shy and socially anxious person but it doesn't show when I'm working so fuck it we ball#anyway obviously those are just my hc and you're free to disagree <3#the lingerie thing though oh boy I love this one#b-big man in lingerie#it just does something to me#anyway#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK ANON#legit the best kind of ask to get#an invitation to yap about a character I love ? THANK YOU#I'm kicking my little feet#nekro yapping
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Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)
Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)
Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue Ă Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?
#new age au#really enjoying the idea of Reaper + Geno having an heir at some point (and them sending that heir over to Night's kingdom for#exposure to other places as well as to hang with his third cool knight dad who's hard at work đ)#Kane has little to no development besides being a perfect angel (foil to Reset's eventual turn to poor choices) so I'd love to do#to him what I do to every oc of mine. (Namely: Throw them into the Kingdom and see what they do.)#oh! and I could see Blue and Dream (beloved boys) listening to the warnings of possible complications if they try to have a lil babybones#and Dream deciding he'd take the risk and carry the growing soul#(<- though tbf this is MANY years into the future and they'd be well established knights of the realm)#i'm not evil so they *would* manage to avoid the twins curse and have a singular beautiful babybones#they'd get raised partially on the move but stay behind with Night and Error if the two had a more dangerous mission#and grow up to be an obnoxiously powerful warrior following after their dads#(but they'd probably be hesitant to follow into the footsteps of being a knight and might go on a quest with friends before choosing a#final path for themselves)#<- Most spoiled rotten kid ever. courtesy of Nightmare and Error and all their extended family <3#oh last note. Ancha has me cracking up w/ ideas for Cross potentially meeting someone and I was beamed w/ an old ship request post I saw and#I think it'd be funny to include Lust in here somehow... (probably call him smth else as a nickname but y'know-)#like. He works in the city around the castle as some sort of... idk tailor? and he's been making things for Nightmare for years without#knowing because Ccino always was discreet about the orders and providing measurements + always tipped well so it was none of his business#but one day it's like. before a big announcement ceremony or smth and Ccino drags Cross in by the scruff because no one can get him to get#clothes that actually fit aside from armor (hc he steals the others clothes a lot and wears 1 shirt until it's threadbare)#so Ccino makes him go to Lust and Lust is able to get him fitted for sone new outfits because. well. Lust doesn't do much but he's very very#handsome and Cross is super easily flustered and shy around new people and he's awkward and aughhh.#and then he thinks about the interaction for the next month before deciding he's going to ask Ccino to go back there again.#and Lust likes dressing Cross up in new outfits (everyone thinks it's great Cross is loosening up and meeting new friends cuz Lust introduce#s him to people in town) and it takes forever for Cross to get over his worries and ask Lust out to a ride on his horse (romantic. of course#) and Lust agrees because he's charmed.#and the best part would be Cross *actually* manages to keep it a secret. like. no one finds out until one morning Killer bursts into Cross'#room to wake him for surprise training and it's Cross. the weird Dog. and- holy shit did Cross have someone over???#Cross pulls the cool ones frfr đ#it's just a casual thing between them with little plot relevance or drama I think. just a chill lil relationship đ
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hrgh every time I think I've come close to forgiving lance fucking parkin I skim the gallifrey chronicles. and then I remember the Horrors.
#listen bc when I read through and play around with AHistory I'm inclined to enjoy and respect his work as a curatative fan historian#but his actual prose writing#it. it beggars belief it truly does it's just atrocious#megan whines into the empty abyss of cyberspace#everyone in the EDA discord who thinks father time is the worst of it oh boy babes the worst is absolutely yet to come#like I get *why* they gave him the last book of the line because he does (mostly) know his lore extremely well#so it kind of makes sense that he'd be picked to wrap up all the myriad loose ends#and also he's well liked and afaik pretty personable unlike some fuckers I could name and didn't spend years burning bridges#but oh my god oh my god literally everything to do with Fitz and Trix is just. awful. terrible.#guy who absolutely does not understand or respect any of the three of that team TARDIS but especially Fitz#also The Thing With Sam#never happened fuck you lance#also given just how many asspats he gives himself over his command of the lore he fucking got Sam's middle name wrong?!#also it's soooo obvious how much he loves Anji because she's a Capitalist GirlbossTM#he really does not grasp her character development or personal arcs but he thinks he's killing it#like she *is* a Capitalist GirlbossTM but that's not all she is but he's not actually interested in her interiority at all#he just enjoys that she's a fiscal conservative#god the fact that trading futures is the literal very next book after Anachrophobia#one of the best books in the series that explicitly calls out Anji's pro-capitalism stance using time-war-for-profit played for utter horro#immediately followed by...almost the exact same premise but Zany RompTM#it's not that capitalists misusing time travel for profit is inherently bad it's just *these guys* who suck#no lesson is learned! then you fucking get to the fucking gallifrey chronicles and Fitz actually deciding that this very same scheme#'wasn't perhaps unethical' just because it's Trix and Anji doing it#like yeah sure Anji and Trix can have a little insider trading. as a treat. but that is literally the definition of unethical lol#the only reason time traveling to acquire stock tips isn't massively illegal is because it's not fucking real like??#of-fucking-course it's unethical you walnut#parkin you smug annoying self-obsessed lore-obsessed pregnancy-obsessed just barely-plausibly deniably not homophobic asshole#I'm avoiding even bringing up the actual beef with TGC because first of all everyone fucking knows but also it's just.#it's such a goddamn shit awful trainwreck#if parkin wasn't a Fitz-hating homophobic coward he would've ended the gallifrey chronicles the same way he ended the dying days. wink.
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.
#the problem with writing an old mond fic that I'm trying to explore Topics with is#it has dwelved from 'I want to write about why Amos stuck with Deca for so long and the messed up love between them'#to. oh boy. googling the life of the last emperor of china of which I am morbidly facinated with.#(terrible spineless self centered coward of a guy. treated as god since age 4)#(but also general chinese emperors and royalty who all really sucked and basing deca and amos both on a lot of that)#to general little morality things bc. its a story of how amos was complicit/supportive of terrible things under deca but still joined rebel#to. reading about the causes of revolutions???? and writing that into old mond's inherit instability and why nb's revolution worked#into now. attitudes on the ethics meat consumption of bc amos is a hunter who grew up outside of old mond and its culture#and forced into old mond's culture (<- my backstory for her)#which also has implications of Amos having to struggle to reconcile her heritage culture with the one she has to live in now#........and though it I keep forgetting that the initial thing I wanted to explore is deca/amos Problematic(tm) love#which means the plot is now a dredged down mess I'll have to fix in a second draft#......uh for anyone who thinks this sounds interesting. no promises on it actually getting finished or being good#this has spirled way out of control from its initial inception#but ya know all art has a political slant to it and boy nothing says political like 'story about revolution' so we'll see how this all goes#(this is also why I don't write fic or stories often lol I take its ideas too seriously and it completely consumes me until I finish it)#personal //
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I am once again making a long annoying post but after posting my Overwatch S/I references I kept rattling the timeline of events for them around until I finally sat down and made it
This is the most bare bones way I could write out the current string of events I have, To Be Continued due to current lack of actual in-game story events
#Long post#Oh boy I don't want to put this in any tags it's so long and annoying I am SO sorry dfjkjfdk#I filled in some blanks of Overwatch story and probably got a few things and the general timeline wrong#but whatever there's no official ages for the OW characters on their page anymore so what's it matter#I apologize for how long Maximillien's section is I really REALLY like Talon and spent a lot more mental energy on that one#Ignore how little Zenyatta romance timeline there is I love him great it's just#MOST OF the actual dating part takes place after he's joined Overwatch#And we doesn't have the PvE modes yet that tell us those stories so#I'm left to my own devices for the time being#Talon Bad ending is a new with Ramattra kind of story line I'm working on just as like#Usually my S/I is a support character if he's even playable at all#I like NPCs a lot more and would be fine just being a Guy who gets Mentioned#But the Talon Bad ending is an attempt to make him more DPS still in the support role but like Moira you know can also kick ass#I'm working more on the moveset than the plot atm and I am. Very bad at game design skgjksgjkf#I can't make a fun playable system but I sure can make a backstory at least#I don't think I'll ever edit this the program I used is a 30 day free trial that asked for my credit card despite it being a FREE trial#So this is just gonna have to be It gamers#Asks are welcome for this if anyone wants to know more I do probably have more
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WHY PC DOESN'T WARN ME WHEN I REACH THE LIMIT OF TAGS *THROWS OUT THE TABLE AGAIN*
WHY HE NEEDED THE SMARTER ONE?? FOR BRAIN TASTE??
OSCAR WOULD GLADLY OFFER HIS BODY PARTS HA-HA... ha... OH F*** HE WOULD. How lucky he is to be stupider.
Part 1!
..of an episode that reveals that if something looks like a space horror and sounds like a space horror, maybe it is a space horror.
Who would've guessed?~
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#I like how#After learning that boys have less height#He calls him âbig guyâ (I kind of feel like Oscar makes him a compliment this way)#Ward: here we go again#Who is smarter? OH I KNEW WHAT WILL BE NEXT WHEEEEZE#.....Well he will do something stupid but he is lucky that stupid ones looks to be less needed....... Ward why are you the smart one...#HWEHEGHREGRHGEHGEHGE The Moon working (OH I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT MOON DOES FOR THE EARTH I'M NOT OKAY AGAIN *cough*)#24/7 dealing with something doing her pirate work#Oscar: Would you like to maybe walk with me for a little?#Ecliptica: *smile* *lifts him up* *proceeds to do her work but walks with Oscar everywhere and talks with him in spare moments*#I so much love the perspective from above#BUT NOT IN THIS SITUATION#WORKSHOP#OF COURSE THE JOB NAMED SCULPTOR SHOULD HAVE THE WORKSHOP#OH. Okay they don't need light. His crew. Lights are mostly for health reasons. I guess they help somehow the fur?#NOT CREEPY AT ALL. I feel like Oscar would say it sincerely without sarcasm *cries*#.........#I see a lot of dangerous things but I'd like not to talk about it.....#What is this stick. Why his holes light up.#DON'T SHUT HIM UP OR I'LL RIP YOUR TAIL OFF YOU F***ER. CUT OPEN OKAY I WILL RIP NOT ONLY YOUR TAIL#THERE'S NOTHING TO OFFER BACKK OFF SHUSHH GO OFF FROM THE SCREEN#DON'T WORRY AHAHAH YOU WILL JUST MISS THE PARTS OF YOUR BODY MAYBE DIE NOTHING SERIOUS AHAHAHAH#....... THE F***s*(soilwlliwLK#CASS OKAY I DID IN FACT LIKE IT BUT IN WHAT COST#OF COURSE WE TOOK THE HORROR TROPE#*THROWS A TABLE OFF*#OH F***#I KNEW I MUST HATE HIM#marble sky#inspiration
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Your Weekly TV Guide
On Monday you can expect:
2:30 PM: Osmosis Jones
And Tuesday - REMEMBER TO VOTE!!!:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix plushies ft. OCs
Wednesday:
2:30 PM: Sona reacts to embroidery
Thursday:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix
Friday:
2:30 PM: Webkinz
Saturday:
2:30 PM: Webkinz
Sunday:
2:30 PM: Yanderapy
Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)
#Weekly TV Guide#And also your reminder to vote if you haven't already! Please vote!#This is another one of those *asterisk weeks in that I'm Pretty Sure this is what we're in for but I haven't actually edited everything yet#I'm trying to implement multiple things to make that all work but it does leave things a little ???? while they're in process lol#Anyhow!! Because I have Things To Say about these >;3c#Picking up right where I left off in September! More of the Osmosis Jones Damned idea ahhh#I actually have like........*checks* Hyah! Six-at-minimum posts' worth of doodles more of that idea but I'm holding onto them for the moment#I'll check back in in like a month lol - I'm like 75% of the way through Ch. 2 and then Dialogue Problems >:P#This calls for more doodling! But first others things lol project has been officially backburnered#But these doodles turned out cute and I Do want to share at least a little bit hehe <3#Tuesday Vote!!! Do it!!#Then come back and look at plush concepts lol#Finally my embroidery love coming to fruition in doodle form - it Is silly so prepare yourself lol#I did mention I as in my Webkinz era again lol >:3c Saturday's a little something different it's not art but it Is Webkinz so#Curious!#And then my boys yay <3 Still so happy for the attention they got this Requestober season ahhh tyyy <3 <3#Update: Oh yeah and Thursday is my birthday I forgot lol
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