#oh and also my (real) dad I guess
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happy fathers day to my two gay dads
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autisticandroids · 1 year ago
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FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.
[youtube with closed captions]
dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.
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(via @closetoyou1970)
#spn#vid#mind the warnings on this one for real#woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye.#pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl.#also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise#anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator#is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else#and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters#that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's#not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under#alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does#because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it#so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way#i am using them to make my argument.#oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to.#i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through#into everything in his life#that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.
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wilsons-journey · 1 year ago
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ALRIGHT! Time to introduce you to some faces!
Desmond Schneeglut (Snowembers) - Best friend to Vale, but also Mentor. Weird eremit and protector of the wilds. No one knows how old he is - not even Vale. He is odd. He rarly speaks, so people thinks he can't speak. With a very few exceptions, he prefers creatures over his kind. (and humans,... and asura,... and everyone else) He was also once a Member of the Flame Legion. He is also a good Friend to Baal.
Orez - Son of Vale and Deus - younger Brother of Fume. He currently is in Desmond's Care - far away from all the war and dragon business. And he is a handful to handle. A bundle of energy. Always on the search of adventure - even in the mist. Good thing only Desmond knows about that. Vale would freak out.
Baal Aschblut (Ashblood) - Former Flame Legion General and half brother to Deus. They share the same Father, who is also part of the Flame-Legion. Baal killed him after he murdered his Mate (and with her nearly his fresh born daughter, too) On the run from the fury of the other Flame Legion, he collapsed somewhere in the wild. A Norn took him in. And to that Norn, he leaves his Daughter - after he heard his father wasn't dead - yet. His daugther is Wilson.
Phrike Duskshard or also know as "the Undying" - "You tried to kill me once, Tried to kill me twice. Even a third time. But here I'm still standing. The undying. And now,... Now I'm coming for you." He is a lunatic. He hates the Charr Legions, but still he holds his Kind dear. He sees himself as the savior of the charr. And with that mindset, he managed to gather a huge crowd of loyal followers around him. All willing to die for his cause.
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vigilskeep · 9 months ago
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Whenever I think about your Keir I think about Bethany telling Anders he reminds her of Malcom. I’m sure that won’t ever affect Keir ever.
bethany is my favourite mage bc she never misses with that psychic damage
but really he and anders aren’t even a thing in act 1 so it’s less like “PLEASE stop comparing my crush to our father” and more like “oh fuck off i spend my entire life trying to act like our dad and one (1) mage rolls up and suddenly he’s dad??”
#the bethany anders keir weirdness about malcolm is so real#because bethany says ‘you remind me of him (generally positive)’ in act 1#but in later acts i think she’s still seeing the same thing just with a different uhhh mindset#seeing the way her dad wanted her to be something she wasnt and strive for something she was never sure was worth the sacrifice#how he tried to make decisions about what was best for other people. how he risked lives etc#whereas anders also has his own perception of malcolm which i think is quite... idealised#it means a lot to him that a mage raised a family that loved him. and hes envious of it#but thats definitely a standard anders is making up. if anders and malcolm really met we’d have to cast a barrier between them within five#minutes. for their own safety.#whereas keir in some ways saw a more complete version of his father from the beginning#but he also believes those more uhh flawed abrasive damaging sides are necessary. of course he does he repeats them#his father may not have been the easiest man in the world to live with but he always did what he had to#and kept his word and held himself to the same standards as others#but oh wait here’s the legacy dlc with the steel chair—#anyway my point being that u get these 3 in a room and theyre talking abt 3 entirely different malcolms. carnage#i dont think it would naturally occur to keir to compare anders to malcolm#but hed be like. ‘i GUESS?’ when bethany said it#honestly anders one of the things that’s kind of disillusioning abt malcolm bc like#i mean say what you like about my man anders but he was never all talk#not to dismiss the courage it took for malcolm to escape & raise a family#but thats one thing. insisting on using your abilities to help people & to go BACK for those still in the circle is kind of another#a lot of dialogue implying malcolm talked a big game about mage rights#but apart from raising a daughter who hates herself what did he actually do.#sorry thats mean but you see my point#and its not just justice that makes anders like that. sure he was more scared and hopeless about the circle#but his instincts are to help. you wouldnt catch malcolm going back to help against darkspawn even when told to run#and my malcolms also. gruff. stoic. serious. a man of few words. he does not do bits or tell you about his cat#if keir hears bethany compare anders to malcolm and at all agrees it’s not really anything about personality#he’s saying yeah i guess anders does seem like a good mage and a good man. thats the only commonality he would jump to#these tags got incredibly away from me
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autism-disco · 10 days ago
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eat beeakfast and isntamtly no longer as self hatred isnt that wacky. what a revolutionary discovery i have never discovered ona. sunday morning before
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kirayaykimura · 1 year ago
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I love the way this scene in 221 recontextualizes the flashback from 169.
In 221, we see Yu-Hon’s A+ parenting skills at work.
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“Son, I know you’re only six but if you don’t get a grip on your emotions everyone you love will burn alive and it will be your fault.” 
Obviously there’s no child services in Fantasy Korea but damn there should be. 
Anyway, back in 169, Hak flashes back to a memory of Soo-Won laying out battle tactics (that Hak is using in the present). 
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Hak is amused because the plan sounds too idealistic to actually work in the real world, but Soo-Won is dead serious when he says, “They’d choose the most devious option too,” because his father has been telling him since he was old enough to walk that Kohka’s enemies want to turn the country into hell and Soo-Won is its only line of defense. Yes, he’s being idealistic, but that’s only because he wants to ensure the fewest casualties possible in the war for Kohka that is coming.
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treeshrine · 6 months ago
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returned my ebook to the library too early and i've realized too late that i want to reread some parts again...
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shekeepsmeworms · 1 year ago
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Had some wine feeling good made a really shitty bowl in ceramics class this morning that I’m really worried has a bunch of air holes in it and had a really crappy therapy session where I didn’t talk too much but was honest about some other stuff which is good overall I guess but now I’m doing drunk crochet and watching the Duggar family documentary and probably going to stop watching soon once they start talking about the awful stuff but yeah day in the life of a woman doing her best I guess
#like both sides of my family are either Irish catholic. converted assimilation catholic. or part Jewish but raised catholic.#but my mom read the Boston glob report so I wasn’t baptized or anything and despite her born again phase I’ve never really been religious#so the thought of growing up in that environment is like I can’t imagine the pressure oh my god#like I’ve had Mormon friends and have some friends who were raised homeschool Christian married young and all and like#i don’t know it’s just wild how different our lives are like I’ve got a problems and def inherited the guilt complex thing for sure but like#I also never got told to submit to anyone or that god was watching#or to be modest or any of the purity stuff beyond normal patriarchy stuff#like I’m not saying my life is better but I didn’t do church after age 5 and only go to funeral masses so I like the comfort of like#doing sign of cross and saying Hail Mary and all bc it provides structure for grief but beyond that I can’t imagine living with all of that#these are very long tags with no real point beyond wow. that’s literally bananas to me. but did I mention I’m a little drunk#and even then my family isn’t like hardcore catholic. my grandma and her siblings skipped church to get donuts bc no farm work on Sunday#and my dad grew up like doing fasted mass and everything but heard the 2000s Harvey milk speech and realized gay ppl are okay#and then rest of extended dads side is like catholic but vote blue and think human rights are good and all#my mom has a student who’s like very traditional catholic like she was trying to teach him math and whatever#and the live coverage of waiting for pope confirmation was on tv the whole time#and he fights with her about evolution and learning about the existence of other religions and everything#so I guess even in my own family like. everyone’s down with basic science and civil liberties which is even weirder for me I guess#like not even among fundamentalists like just regular Catholics I’ve had a pretty liberal upbringing re faith. it’s just wild to me#to see the differences of worldview#and even non religion stuff was pretty liberal overall despite living in pretty red area. idk it’s just wild how different life can be
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frankbelloriley · 2 years ago
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It flopped when it was released, but if that means every three months people discover the plot of The Fablemans through memes, it will become culturally important.
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xxxcertifiednerdxxx · 2 years ago
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I can’t believe I’ve never seen anyone talk about a Miraculous Ladybug Lego ninjago au before. I feel like we are missing a golden opportunity
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arolesbianism · 2 months ago
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I have obtained a new oc and in the process I've already signed myself up for needing to make at least 3 new ocs for his story which he now has despite me initially Intending for him to be a side character for a different side character to hang out with. My townhouse has over 200 characters on it.
#rat rambles#oc posting#he doesn't have an official name yet but he is my silly billy and I love him#also take every him with an asterisk again he's like super new (I just got him today)#although several elements of his story so far have been things Ive been wanting to do for a while so thats a part of why I have so many#ideas for him already since its some stuff I've been wanting to play around with for a while#the real reason he has a chokehold on me rn is that I tripped and made him my 500 thousanth character with identity issues#I <3 characters with a fucked up relationship with their sense of self and what it even means to be themself#oh hes also a magic cat world character because thats what like 90% of my ocs are from at this point lol#and another goop related guy but this time not directly related to every other goop guy#he doesnt interact with any of them or even know most of them exist#long story short hes a robot who used to not be a robot but remembers nothing abt his life before he turned himself into a robot#all he has as reference is a mostly ruined journal his past self kept that is almost entirely unreadable due to it getting soaked in goop#he knows that this was self inflicted and his approximate age but that's abt it in terms of useful information#early story is mostly just him traveling alone trying to see if anyone nearby knows who he is but after going through like 5 or so towns he#starts to get more worried and upset about the whole situation and starts trying to look into some different missing person reports in#hopes that he can find one of himself#he runs out of the savings he had on him pretty quickly though so he had to figure out how to stay afloat while doing his research#'luckily' he meets a man while looking into one case he found who was willing to let him stick around at his place while looking into it#this guy had some investment in these dissapearances because he suspected that they related to his father and hoped to find any sort of#window in what he was up to since he hadnt seen him since he ran away at around 17#spoilers his dad is cake this is still connected to cake nonsense because everything in this world fucking does but the main boy himself#actually has no ties to cake or his activities so thats smth at least#but yeah long story short things get. real bad for my boy after the first few months of staying at this guy's place.#yknow how risa in the future was often used as a weapon of war using some unstable chemicals? yeah guess where that started.#mr daddy issue haver over here may understand that his dad is a bad person but evidently that doesnt stop him from being not much better#currently Im planning on having main boy escape eventually and get stuck in the non magic world where he meets april but that could change#it depends on if I want him to interact with the other stories going on at all or not#I probably wont but I would like to leave myself some wiggle room to let him meet more side characters#like (looks with big sad wet eyes) ginger maybe? please? please april? let me see your sister? that you havent seen in years? please?
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a-sleepy-ginger · 5 months ago
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21/6/24
❊✺❂✺❊
Had alot of fun drawing
Yuru camp
#happiness diary#happiness diary: june 2024#was real tired for the past few days cus i ran out of my antihistamines so i had to use the shop bought ones#and they always make me a zombie#still kinda getting over the tired cus the ones i use make me tired when i first start taking them but im more uh aware i guess now#also guess who got bad results from her biopsy and needs to get another one :)#third time my skin has tried to kill me and third time ive caught it before it can do anything#so its not as bad as it could have been#but still not great to hear yeah your skin was trying to kill you and we need to chop your arm again#also never fun to have the doctor say well talk more in the cancer appointment (cant remember what its actually called)#dunno why theyre calling it a cancer appointment thing when its precancer#like we stopped it so its not a cancer appointment#maybe i just dont like it#it was funny though cus the doctor on the phone was like have you had any other moles change#and i just was like its been only a couple weeks since you last saw me i dint think so#oh also they didn't bither trying to phone my mobile tgey went straight to the house phone#i mean i was waiting for the phonecall since the day after my appointment and i was hyper aware of every sound that could have been made#by my phone#but when the house phone rang i was just like oh thats for me#but then my parents didn't call me through or anything so i just sat in my room like ...?#then later it rang again and again i was like its for me and sure enough my mother call d me through#it always sucks whn you just know#last time i saw the postman outside delivering letters to other people and my heart just sank and I knew he had the letter with bad news#it is funny though cus my dad thought the phone call was spam and thats why they didn't tell me#he was like look at the number its probably a mobile its spam and ignored it#which is what i did cus the nhs number looks like a spam number whuch is why i have it saved in my phone now#so yeah#im not happy about it but im glad i caught it early enough again#wonder if it wouldve been in situ if the doctor i saw a year ago decided to take it off then#wonder how close it was to stage one... guess ill find out
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dissapointu · 4 days ago
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how about the arcane characters seeing their crush fight someone for the first time (and winning)? and like, they just didn't know how strong reader truly is?
OH SNAP. YOU’RE OUT HERE THROWING HANDS AND TAKING NAMES?? The Arcane crew would LOSE IT seeing you handle business for the first time—especially since they had no idea you were this strong. They’d be standing there like, “Wait… when did you become a total badass??”
Jinx
Jinx would be cheering you on like a maniac.
• The moment she sees you throwing punches, she’s SCREAMING. “GET ‘EM! GET ‘EM! THAT’S MY CRUSH!”
• She’s doing the chaotic Jinx laugh the whole time, completely hyped up by your energy.
• When you win, she’s sprinting up to you, grabbing your face, and grinning like, “That was AMAZING! You’re, like, a total beast! Why didn’t you TELL me??”
• Lowkey? She wants to see it again. “We should start a fight club or something. You’d crush it!”
Vi
Vi is SHOOK but also a little turned on, let’s be real.
• She’s watching you handle the fight, and her jaw just DROPS. “Damn, I didn’t know you had it in you…”
• She’s impressed as hell, crossing her arms and nodding as you take down your opponent like a pro.
• When you win, she saunters up to you all casual but can’t hide the smirk. “Not bad. You’ve been holding out on me, huh?”
• You’d catch her sneaking little proud glances at you for the rest of the day. “That’s my kinda person.”
Sevika
Sevika’s eyebrows are practically in her HAIRLINE watching you fight.
• She didn’t think you had it in you, so she’s just standing there, arms crossed, staring like, “Well, damn. Look at you go.”
• When you win, she’s all smug, leaning back and grinning. “Didn’t know you were such a badass. Guess I’ll have to start watching my back, huh?”
• She wouldn’t admit it, but seeing you fight earns you a TON of respect in her book. She’s definitely bringing it up later. “You know, not many people can throw a punch like that. I’m impressed.”
Silco
Silco is stunned but trying to act like he’s not.
• He’s watching the fight with a raised eyebrow, sipping his drink like, “Interesting.” But internally? He’s like, “Where have they been hiding this?”
• When you win, he calmly walks up to you, gives you an approving nod, and says something cryptic like, “You’re full of surprises. I admire that.”
• He’s definitely making mental notes about how you might be a bigger asset than he realized. But also? He’s secretly impressed by how you can handle yourself.
Vander
Vander is proud AND worried all at once.
• He’s watching you fight, hands on his hips, muttering stuff like, “Didn’t think they had that in ‘em… but damn, they’re good.”
• When you win, he walks up to you with the classic dad voice: “You alright? Didn’t know you could handle yourself like that. You really showed ‘em, though.”
• He’s proud as hell but makes you promise not to take unnecessary risks. “I know you’re strong, but don’t go looking for trouble, yeah?”
Ekko
Ekko is blown away and immediately HYPED.
• He’s watching you fight like, “Ohhh snap! Look at them GO!” He’s bouncing on his heels, ready to jump in if you need backup, but realizing… you don’t.
• When you win, he’s practically tackling you in excitement. “That was AMAZING! Since when were you such a badass??”
• He’s 100% bragging about you to the Firelights later. “My crush? Absolute legend. You should’ve seen them.”
Jayce
Jayce is equal parts surprised and impressed.
• He’s standing there with wide eyes, muttering, “Wait, when did they learn how to do THAT?”
• When you win, he’s immediately running over, grinning like a golden retriever. “That was insane! You’re incredible—how come you never told me you could fight like that?”
• He’s hyping you up for DAYS afterward. “No, seriously, did you see how they took that guy down? Absolute powerhouse.”
Viktor
Viktor is completely blindsided.
• He’s watching the fight like, “Wait… what is happening right now?” He’s genuinely shocked because he didn’t think you were the type to throw hands.
• When you win, he’s just staring at you in awe. “You… you didn’t even break a sweat. That was incredible.”
• He’d definitely be curious about how you learned to fight and want to hear all the details. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”
Caitlyn
Caitlyn is lowkey AMAZED but trying to stay professional about it.
• She’s watching you fight, hands clasped behind her back, muttering under her breath like, “Impressive… very impressive.”
• When you win, she gives you a warm smile and says something like, “I always knew you were capable, but I didn’t realize you were THIS capable. Well done.”
• She’s super proud of you but probably a little worried you’ll get hurt next time. “Just… be careful, alright?”
Mel Medarda
Mel is intrigued and very, VERY impressed.
• She’s watching the fight with a small smile, sipping her wine like, “How fascinating.”
• When you win, she gracefully approaches you and says something smooth like, “You’ve been holding out on me. That was quite the performance.”
• She’s 100% filing this information away for later, already thinking about how your strength could come in handy.
Ambessa Medarda
Ambessa is IMPRESSED beyond belief.
• She’s watching you fight with a smirk, nodding to herself like, “They’ve got potential.”
• When you win, she strides up to you and claps a hand on your shoulder. “You fight with skill—and heart. I respect that.”
• She’d probably want to spar with you later just to test your limits. “Let’s see what else you’re capable of.”
Heimerdinger
Heimerdinger is both shocked and fascinated.
• He’s watching the fight with wide eyes, clutching his little staff like, “Oh dear, oh dear… they’re actually quite formidable!”
• When you win, he’s rushing over to check on you. “My word! That was… extraordinary. Are you alright?”
• He’d definitely want to know more about your skills. “Your technique is quite remarkable. Have you considered joining a combat academy?”
Salo
Salo is quietly impressed but not super showy about it.
• He’s watching you fight with a raised eyebrow, muttering under his breath like, “Huh. Didn’t see that coming.”
• When you win, he gives you a subtle nod and says something lowkey like, “Not bad. You’re tougher than you look.”
• He’s definitely rethinking everything he thought he knew about you.
Scar
Scar is losing his mind in the BEST way.
• He’s hyping you up the whole time, yelling stuff like, “GET ‘EM! That’s my crush right there!”
• When you win, he’s immediately running over, laughing and clapping you on the back. “That was EPIC! You’re my hero!”
• He’s bragging about you to literally everyone. “Yeah, my crush just took someone down like a pro. No big deal.”
Maddie Nolen
Maddie is floored but super proud.
• She’s watching you fight with wide eyes, quietly whispering, “Wow… they’re amazing.”
• When you win, she’s blushing and smiling as she walks over to you. “That was incredible. Are you always this strong?”
• She’d definitely admire you even more after seeing you hold your own like that.
Lest
Lest is completely captivated.
• She’s watching you fight with a mix of awe and concern, muttering to herself like, “They’re… really strong. I had no idea.”
• When you win, she’s rushing over to make sure you’re okay, brushing some imaginary dust off your shoulder. “That was amazing, but are you hurt? You’re incredible.”
• She’d probably be in awe of you for DAYS afterward. *“I can’t believe you did that. You’re amazing”
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lewisvinga · 7 months ago
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como no te voy a querer | jude bellingham x alonso! fem! reader
summary; when the princess of the paddock is dating the golden boy of real madrid but she happens to have a grid full of drivers who are very protective of her
fc; rita mota
warnings; cursing i think, suggestive comment
taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03 @c-losur3
note; saw fernando at the benrabeu at the semifinals and i had to…. BUT WE’RE GOING INTO THE UCL FINALLLL!!! A POR LA 15😭🤍🤍🤍 pls don’t mind the misspelt bernabéu in one of the tweets lollll
masterlist !
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by judebellingham, fernandoalo_official, and others !
yourusername: when in spain….
tagged; judebellingham
fernandoalo_official: siempre tan linda, mija😍 [always so pretty, my daughter]
yourusername: papáaaa🥹🥹
judebellingham: wowwwww
judebellingham: well aren’t you a lovely lady 🥴
yourusername: ur fine too i guess…🙄
yourusername: jk ur very fine 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋��👨
maxverstappen1: she’s a child.
yourusername: i’m 20????🤨
charles_leclerc: a child.
username: omg her sign for el clásico 😭what a queen tbh
username: y/n 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️
username: jude can u fight? 🤔🤔
carlossainz55: pq estabas en españa sola??🤔 [why were you in spain alone]
yourusername: because i’m spanish and my bf lives here?🤔
fernandoalo_official: you’re with your boyfriend alone???
yourusername: no edu is always there 🙄
camavinga: 🤗🤗
judebellingham: edu😘😘
landonorris: and why are you flirting with someone else when u have a girlfriend ….
yourusername: oh like your bromance w carlos doesn’t exist !
username: nah the drivers comments are always so funny😭😭
yourusername: oh it’s torture, can’t even appreciate my sexy bf in peace 🙄
camavinga: OUR sexy bf😘
username: CAMA OH??😭
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by judebellingham, carmenmmundt, and others !
yourusername: i guess you could say i get my cuntiness from my dad xx
tagged; fernandoalo_official, georgerussell63, carmenmmundt, landonorris, judebellingham
location; miami 🌴
username: not her tagging jude on her lips 😭😭
username: me n who ong
fernandoalo_official: i’m cunty or whatever the hell it is you guys say
yourusername: tea 💅
username: THE CHEETAHHH PRINT😍
username: here before simp jude
judebellingham: wow.
judebellingham: just wow.
judebellingham: you are unbelievable 😍😍
yourusername: 💗💗💗💗
landonorris: STAND BACK 🤺🤺🤺
judebellingham: a lot of talking for a man who asked for my jersey🥱🥱🥱
yourusername: he got you there….
landonorris: okay fine… you win this time…
username: the alonsos are so cunty
username: PARTY NANDOOOO
username: i will never get over her n jude sawrry😖😫😖
maxverstappen1: well you better.
username: HUHHH???😀
charles_leclerc: stinky man around y/n, you’ll get over it
yourusername: you guys are sooooo…..
judebellingham: max is just mad abt el clásico score 😬😬
maxverstappen1: damn right.
carlossainz55: only time jude is tolerable 😁
yourusername: not very madridista of u carlos
judebellingham: yeah🙄🙄🙄
carlossainz55: y/n protector first sorry🫡
carmenmmundt: gorgeous gorgeous girl❤️❤️
yourusername: ily🥹
yourusername: also tell george to stop sending jude threats over instagram
georgerussell63: no.
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yourusername uploaded to their story !
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[caption 1; going back home hungover 😬] [caption 2; morning 💗 judebellingham] [caption 3; date night fit 🤺] [caption 4; mi amor 🤍🤍 judebellingham]
judebellingham wow😍😍😍😍
judebellingham u single ??????
yourusername yeah:/// my bf has another bf:///
judebellingham HES MY BFF!!!!😖😖
yourusername cus why did cama see u in the showers almost naked after signing a new contract…..🤨🤨
judebellingham like you haven’t seen less🙄🙄
yourusername whyd u say that my dad saw and now’s he’s questioning me😭
yourusername he said why aren’t u preparing for the match 🙄
judebellingham ur dad is scary
judebellingham tell him the match is in 7 hours i still have chill time 🙄🙄
judebellingham DONT mention the rolling eyes emoji he is scary enough
yourusername fernando alonso??? scary??? a menace maybe,,,,🤣
yourusername good luck my love 💗 take it easy on the knee though!
judebellingham i’ll try, it’ll be a tough match:/
yourusername papa alonso said good luck too
judebellingham tell him i said tyvm😁😁😁
georgerussell63 why is he shirtless 🤨
yourusername you’re one to talk…
maxverstappen1 🤮🤮
yourusername ahhhh u madddddddd
yourusername la liga champion😛😛
maxverstappen1 i have 3 wdcs🙄🙄
yourusername and yet, real madrid won la liga!
maxverstappen1 tap in merchant 😒😒😒
yourusername ……
yourusername he scored a banger at el clasico i wouldn’t speak if i were u
maxverstappen1 😒😒😒😒
lewishamilton u should’ve been at the met 🙄
yourusername gf duties calls😞
charles_leclerc …..
charles_leclerc why is he around u naked🤔
yourusername bc he’s my bf????🤨
charles_leclerc why
yourusername bc i love him??
charles_leclerc but why
yourusername bye charles 🙄🙄🙄
charles_leclerc WHYYY
⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
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liked by judebellingham, vinijr, and others !
yourusername: como no te voy a querer?🤍🤍 [how am i not going to love you?] congratulations on making it to the final, mi amor, te quiero mucho🤍🤍 [my love, i love you so much] and so so proud of you and the squad 🫶🫶
tagged; judebellingham, vinijr, lukamodric10
judebellingham: my lucky charm
judebellingham: i love you so much
judebellingham: te quiero 😍
yourusername: when he speaks spanish for you🥴🥴🥴
fernandoalo_official: so that’s why i can hear y/n giggling…
username: jude speaking in spanish for y/n, this is so sick
username: ME AND WHO😩😩
username: thank u y/n for blessing us w jude 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
username: can’t believe joselu scored a brace 😭
username: we gonna get a bellingol soon #trust
carlossainz55: A POR LA 15😍😍 hala madrid🤍
yourusername: now u wanna act fine w jude 🙄
carlossainz55: WHO CARES WE’RE IN THE FINAL!!!
maxverstappen1: I CARE!!! heja bvb or however it goes!!🙄🙄
oscarpiastri: you gotta respect max for keeping up the hater act icl
judebellingham: he sure hates a lot for someone who lost his win streak
maxverstappen1: hey watch it…
carlossainz55: can we get back to the fact real madrid is in the ucl final???🤍🎉🎉
judebellingham: yes😁
vinijr: Y/NNNNNNN HALA MADRIDDDDDD
yourusername: HALA MADRID NUESTO MOTM !!! [our motm/man of the match]
fernandoalo_official: good game, jude👍
judebellingham: omg thank you so much, sir! it means a lot!😊
camavinga: who are you and what did you to do my jude
aurelientchm: that’s not jude…🤣
rodrygogoes: ‘😊’
yourusername: well, he’s MY jude and he’s just scared of my dad🙄🙄
charles_leclerc: good.
landonorris: good.
lewishamilton: good.
maxverstappen1: good.
georgerussell63: good.
alex_albon: good.
judebellingham: oh! 😀
yourusername: don’t mind them🙄
3K notes · View notes
cutebat · 4 months ago
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You know what, fuck it. I'm going to write my own neglectful yandere batfamily cause everyone else is doing it, but I'm going to do it in a different way.
Yandere Batfam x Neglected, but Defiant Reader
Prologue (Diary Entry)
Warning(s): Mentions of yandere themes, neglect, emotional abuse, mentions of physical abuse, forcing to drop out, attempted guilt tripping, reader is just venting out her feelings
(I made this in the reader's POV to make the whole 'diary entry' thing more sense.)
~~~~~
July 22, 2024
It's funny when someone tells their story.
Only to be told back that it's unrealistic.
Almost as if they're afraid to believe it's real...
Oh, God, that sounded dark.
~~~~~
For everyone who doesn't know,
Bruce is a billionaire who's also a shitty dad
Dick is a dick, like actually
Jason uses his trauma to let all his frustrations on me
Tim is a delusional bitch
Cass was okay until she knocked me to the ground
Damian is just a thing who you want to burn to ashes
Alfred... I guess is just Alfred
~~~~~
I was basically raised as what people would call a 'black sheep'. Kind of like... actually, I don't need to explain all that.
Basically, I was adopted by the infamous Bruce Wayne when I was ten for whatever reason. After the first day of living with him and the family and giving me the new role of Batgirl, everyone just pretended as if I didn't exist.
I tried to interact with every one of them and all I got were "sorry, can't talk right now" and "can you shut up".
Like, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO THEM?!
Is it because I'm prettier than all of them and had barely any trauma in my past? Seriously, why are people so jealous about these kinds of things?
Bruce really signed all that paperwork for nothing.
Of course, my little ten year old brain would think that if I tried to impress all of them with what I could do, maybe I could gain their attention.
So by the time I was twelve with my ten year old mindset goal in my head, I did nine different after school activities, won over fifteen awards for my achievements, and went out to patrol at least six nights a week.
And none of that worked! Those fuckers wouldn't even spare me a glance!
~~~~~
After a while, you don't see a point in trying your best.
I dropped out of most of the clubs I regret joining, I just laid back in my classes, and most of all...
I quit being Batgirl.
I didn't want to, but like I said, where's the point in that?
So with that, I just gave up on everything and just... stopped trying.
~~~~~
But then one year all of that almost changed?
For the first time ever, I found myself suddenly really pretty, and after a month I entered eighth grade, I was suddenly asked out by one guy, then two, and all the way up to ten!
It was like really cool!
The popular girls became my best friends, more guys would ask me out, and the teachers started pointing out that I was their favorite student, even the ones who weren't my teachers.
It felt like I was on top of everything. That I was special. The world is revolving around me.
Finally, I was in a place to build a great reputation.
And then life was like FUCK THAT!
~~~~~
After the first semester of eighth grade, Bruce was weirdly in my room and he said wanted to have a 'talk' with me.
So, during this talk, he was basically talking about the last three years of me being neglected by him and his family. To be honest, I forgot everything he told me, but honestly, I don't really care.
He also told the others about all this and now they suddenly feel bad which I don't give a shit about. But, I knew he was doing all this to guilt trip me, which was honestly so stupid.
Now, after he dropped that bomb, he told me that I had to drop out of school to do some "bonding time" with the others along with him and the people who actually cared about me didn't really matter at all!
I JUST GOT SETTLED IN!
All I said was "FUCK YOU" and just stormed out of my room with the only thing that I took was my diary that I had for quite a while that I never used before.
~~~~~
So, yeah. I'm currently in the attic, venting my feelings all out on this stupid glitter diary with a random pen that I found on the ground.
But whatever.
It doesn't matter.
Nothing matters...
My life is just a game.
A sick, hopeless game.
1K notes · View notes
eightstarr · 2 months ago
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at the count of three — ellie williams.
summary: how do you tell your best friend you’re in love with them? ellie has an answer! just be cool and wait for the right moment— and the next. and maybe another one, just to be sure. if you get impatient, you can always take a deep breath and count to three! (years, that is)
warnings: slow burn (childhood friends to lovers <3), little bit suggestive but no smut!
notes: born from a piece of dialogue i wrote like, a year ago and completely forgot about but somehow a week later it's 4k words? idk you're welcome or i'm sorry!!! also yes they do spend almost every scene sitting together on a couch but that's what lesbianism is all about...
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・。.・゜✧・. ────
ONE!
A movie plays on the TV, a slightly tarnished DVD of an 80’s action flick starring some oily guy and the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen— Ellie doesn't remember much other than an obnoxiously epic soundtrack and lingering shots that made the plot twist too obvious about 20 minutes in. 
She's freshly eighteen; you’re ahead only by a couple months. It's a warm Friday night, Joel and your dad in the kitchen putting scraps together for a mildly healthy dinner, Ellie sitting on the very opposite side of the couch from where you are. It’s hot, she'd said, looking away from your comically insulted face that grew with every scooch she made from your side, a lame excuse to save her from the newly found (and fucking torturous) fluttering that sparks in her stomach whenever she sits too close to you.
From the kitchen comes the sound of a can hitting the floor, followed by Joel’s 'shit!' and then quickly, 'sorry, girls'. You chuckle, turning to Ellie and catching her staring at you. A wrinkle forms between your eyebrows at the same time a pink warmth floods her cheeks. “Dude, you’re not even paying attention.”
“I am,” a scoff, her eyes now strictly committed to the screen. “The noise distracted me,” she adds, knowing it didn't even make her flinch from the careful study of your side profile.
“Scaredy cat— ow!” a pillow crashes against your cheek, sudden enough to shock you, too soft to do any real damage. “What the fuck?”
Ellie raises her eyebrows and looks at you from the corner of her eyes, a smirk half hidden by her hand. “Don’t be rude, you're missing the best scene.”
You throw the pillow back and scoff when she catches it, your lips slightly pursed, the signature sign to tell you’re annoyed. It's almost identical to the replica of that gesture that sits at the end of her last journal entry, an overly dedicated sketch born from a wandering thought. She could make it more accurate, she thinks now, soften the line of your jaw, take the scar on your cheek a little more to the left.
The sound of water splashing from the TV catches her attention and Ellie snaps her head forward (lest she get caught staring again), just as the blonde haired love interest is walking out of a fancy looking swimming pool.
“She’s hot,” you say, fingers pulling absentmindedly at loose threads on the rip of your jeans. When Ellie doesn't say anything, you turn to look at her, “You don't think so?”
Her voice comes out a higher pitch than she’d like. “What—” she clears her throat before continuing to mumble, “I don't know, I guess.”
You laugh. “You guess?” 
“Yeah, I— I don't know, dude, I wasn't thinking about that.”
You watch the nervousness on her face, the gulp that passes her throat, the red under her freckles. Fondness tugs at your chest and your voice softens just slightly, a smile playing on your lips. “Oh my God. Ellie, it’s okay,” green eyes find your face and she sees you hesitate for a second before you shrug. “Who cares? It's just me.”
You make it sound easy. It's the most distinct thing Ellie remembers about this moment, how suddenly safety felt like the most obvious thing. TV light on your face, your arm over the back of the couch, the same eyes she's been looking at since she was fourteen. Of course it's okay. Everything else with you is easy, why wouldn't this be the same?
Ellie shifts on the couch, the distance between you turning quickly ridiculous— offensive, even. She’s embarrassed to have let her flusteredness get in the way, but the urge to be closer doesn't feel right either. Everything she does feels like too much, everything she says too intense. “How long have you known?” she asks.
You tilt your head, less of a question and more of a guidance, “Known that you…”
Ellie parts her lips, unsure of whether or not she’s gonna say it or how, trying to will the words to come out. And they do, she remembers it well, because it was the first and maybe the only time she was this direct about it. “That I like girls.”
The smile on your face is teeth-rotting sweet, but she only gets to bask in it for a second before you widen your eyes and lower your voice to a scandalized whisper. “You what?”
Ellie rolls her eyes, cheeks burning, “Oh, fuck you.”
Your laugh fills up the room and the fluttering in her stomach feels absurd at this point, like she would actually be able to feel those annoying little butterflies flying around if she were to press her hand against her abdomen. “Sorry, sorry,” you say, and for a terrifying second Ellie thinks maybe they're loud too, and you’re able to hear them. But then she looks at you and forgets about it, easy easy easy. “It’s really okay. You know that, yeah?”
“Yeah,” she says. For once, there's not a glimpse of doubt about it to be found.
You watch another ten minutes of the movie in silence before your dad's head peeks out from the kitchen to call you both to the table for dinner.
Ellie has a habit of eating like it's her last day on earth. When you were both new residents of Jackson, hungry and scared and not at all used to the idea of a full plate of food twice a day, she couldn't help it. And you were the same, hence why your dad thought it would be good for you and Ellie to spend time together, which quickly turned to being around each other basically every minute of every day. But as the weeks passed, you seemed to be learning to adapt faster. A younger Ellie found this frustrating— especially after that time Joel complimented your table manners.
You’re just… nicer, she remembers saying, a stressed frown on her still childlike face, fiddling with a box of marbles she’d found under her new bed. She remembers how you pulled one out, your fingers brushing against her own for the first time ever, and held the clear crystal with green stripes next to her eyes, a satisfied smile at a practically perfect match. You’re nice too, Els, you’d said, shrugging your shoulders, the marble shoved inside your pocket, I think I just lie better.
Until that moment, Ellie had never thought about it that way; the fact that you could be pretending to feel more confident and comfortable than you really are to make yourself safer, to get people to like you. But when she asked, you swore you had never lied to Ellie. She used to drive herself mad thinking about that, a strange, confusing worry gnawing at her chest— she likes that you don't feel the need to lie, but what does it say about how you see her? Is it that you don't care if she likes you? Or worse, is it that you know that she already does?
You sit in front of her today at the same dinner table, four years later, and watch her practically inhale her bowl of pasta like no time has passed at all. You let out a snort and Ellie wonders if you can see it even now, if her constant thoughts of you are obvious even when she looks this busy.
"What?" she asks, an immediate frown on her face, though she's done you the honor of swallowing her mouthful before speaking.
"You're so gross," you say, chin resting on your palm, tilting your head like you're looking at some thought provoking art piece. Ellie thinks you'll leave it at that, but then you reach over and swipe your thumb over the red spot of sauce next to the corner of her lips, so soft she barely feels it. You watch her frown soften for a second before it becomes even deeper.
Ellie feels like her whole body is exploding with warmth, too hot under the hoodie she's wearing, too pink across her face. It's so obvious, she thinks, it's so— fuck, pull it together. Her gaze follows your finger as you bring it to your lips and lick off the sauce. “You’re disgusting,” she retorts lamely, her hand rough when she brushes it over her mouth, lest you notice another stain and she has to watch you do that again.
You are familiarly not deterred by her meanness. Or her attempt at it. "And you eat like a five year old,” you shrug. “I guess we both have our issues."
Ellie catches herself staring at your hands for the rest of the meal, certain that she's never noticed them in the same way before. How much time has she been wasting? You both have your issues, you'd said, but Ellie thinks she has you beat. Yours can't possibly be anywhere near this dangerous.
─────✧・゚: *✧・
TWO!
Someone's knocking on her door. Ellie sniffles and lets out a groan as she gets up from the couch, sore throat, her limbs heavy and tired. She knows it's you because it's always the same three knocks; the first two firm and loud, a pause, and then one tiny one that sounds almost like 'sorry'. You’re impatient but still painfully afraid to be rude— if she loved you a little less, Ellie thinks she would make fun of it a lot more. But alas, she's cursed to smile at it every time.
She opens the door and the breeze that slips in makes her fall immediately into an embarrassing coughing fit. “It’s fine,” she mutters, at the same time you’re saying jesus christ, Ellie. “Shit. I’m okay,” she clears her throat and finally gets a moment to look at you, all pretty and put together in your best shirt and a freshly showered scent, the sun setting behind you like a perfect frame. Ellie prays her lungs don't betray her again and tries to make the brush of her hand over her messy hair look casual instead of desperate.
“Well, I was gonna ask if you wanted to come to the party with me for just a few minutes, but… I’m not sure you should be out of bed,” your worried frown is pretty, too. What a cruel fate. “Is Joel home? I can stay—”
“No, no, you’re good,” Ellie shakes her head, arms crossed over her chest like maybe it’ll cover up enough and you won't notice she was wearing the same long sleeve the last time you saw her. “He’ll be here in like, five minutes. I’ll be fine, ’m not a baby.”
You’re both nineteen by this time, Ellie remembers because you wore the same pretty blue shirt that you're wearing now for her birthday, and it was the day she realized her crush was no longer deniable. It's easier to act like nothing’s happening when she feels like she's alone in it, like there's no universe where you could love her like she loves you so she might as well let the fantasy die— but then you put on your shirt that's reserved for special occasions just to come over and bring her the cupcake you made, and suddenly Ellie can picture herself with her hands on each side of your waist, pulling you close, saying thank you with her lips brushing against yours before she kisses you. She can see it so clearly that it startles her, changes everything. Her birthday comes with a punch to the gut and a hunger she wants to tell you and only you about.
“You’re not gonna be bored? I really don't mind staying until he gets home.”
Ellie thinks (dramatically, extremely nineteen—) that if she lets you take care of her, she might actually die. It felt like she almost did last time you visited, your face serious with concentration as you pressed the back of your hand against her forehead. ‘You're warm’, you said, ‘do you feel sweaty?’ Ellie stared up at you, eyes glossy and heavy from sleep. ‘Not really’, her fingers sneaked out from under the blanket to wrap themselves around your forearm, a moment of bravery or delusion, ‘your hand feels nice’. You chuckled, ‘okay, keep it’.
She’s less feverish today, but not yet recovered from the greedy voice in her head that begs her to keep you close. If you don't go to the party now, she thinks (knows) that she’ll let herself casually talk you into staying the rest of the night. “Nah, don't miss your party,” she says. “I’ll be okay, Joel’s gonna teach me how to play that old card game.”
You raise your eyebrows. “So you're gonna argue all night.”
“No— what?” Ellie scoffs. “It’ll be good, I learn fast.”
“Yeah, because you make up your own rules.”
“I have questions about the rules, that's not the same thing.”
“It is if you cheat—”
“I’m not a cheater!”
You hum, a curious tilt of your head, and Ellie rolls her eyes before the words are even out of your mouth. “No, I guess you’d have to have a girlfriend for that.”
You watch her run her tongue over her teeth, her shoulder against the door frame. “You know I could say the same to you, right?”
“Too bad I said it first,” you shrug, pretty smile stretching your lips. “I guess I'll go, then. I’ll come over when it's done so you don't miss me too much.”
Ellie tries to maintain her composure. You know, she thinks, do you know? You must know. You can't know— “Right. Also so you can steal my food and crash in my bed, I’m guessing.”
“When you’re all vulnerable and weak? What do you think of me, Ellie?” you frown sadly, a hand over your heart.
“I think I know you,” she says, the corner of her lips lifting just a little, inescapably.
You walk to the gate and turn around as you close the lock, your hands on either side of your mouth as if she’s miles and miles away. “I’ll take the couch!”
“Yeah, sure!” Ellie yells back, her voice pretty even when it's hoarse, knowing she’ll hold on for just about ten minutes before she insists you take the bed instead.
Joel stays awake with her until around 10pm, when his yawns become too many to hide and he’s already let Ellie win three games, his smile genuine and wide while she chuckles and pretends she doesn’t notice. He leaves her with a tupperware of soup for tomorrow’s lunch and a deck of cards. To teach your friends or— I don't know, keep on the coffee table, he’d said, make you look cool. Ellie’s not sure you would find a box of cards ‘cool’, but she’s not above trying.
Ever since she moved out to the garage, she’s discovered a new type of stress at the notion of having you over. At Joel’s house, all she ever did to prepare for guests was pick up the dirty clothes from her bedroom floor and put her books in a (wobbly) single pile. Now things are different. The garage is small, but it's all hers— her floor, her living room, her kitchen. She can't have you thinking that she can't take care of things on her own.
She spends the next hour moving things around until finally, two loud knocks. A second passes; Ellie looks at the cards and considers shoving them inside one of the drawers on her desk. By the time the one quiet knock comes, she shrugs and decides to leave them on the coffee table, lest Joel was right and she misses a chance to have you start thinking she's cool and mysterious. “It's open,” she says from the couch, tiredness soon catching up with her after all that time rearranging things.
The door opens and you come in, quickly closing it behind you, a relieved sigh at the loss of that crisp, cold breeze outside. “Did Joel forget those?” you ask, bent at the waist as you take your shoes off, your chin pointing at the deck, the only thing on the coffee table. Maybe she should've been more subtle with it.
“Uh, no,” Ellie scratches the back of her neck, her legs stretched across the couch. “They’re a gift.”
She's not sure you hear her over the groan you make as you stretch your arms above your head, her legs moved to the side automatically to make space for you to sit. You fall down with a sigh and both forget about the cards— you, distracted by the warm tingly feeling of a couple drinks, and Ellie by the new jacket you’re wearing.
She lets a million different scenarios spin around her head for a couple seconds before she blurts out the question. “Whose is that?”
“What?” you turn your head away from the movie playing on the TV.
“The jacket.”
“Oh,” you look down at yourself as if you’ve just remembered it’s there. “Maya was leaving too, so she walked here with me. It’s hers.”
Ellie hums, her back sliding a little further down the couch, legs spread. “Stinks like it’s hers.”
You chuckle before you can help it, her animosity ridiculous and charming— Ellie’s better with actions than she is with words. “I don't even know what you're talking about,” you shake your head, not quite slurring, but not too far from it either. "She smells like strawberries."
Fuck Maya and her strawberry shampoo. Ellie could get some if she wanted to, maybe if she traded— what the fuck is she thinking about? She rolls her shoulders back and pushes the thoughts away, gluing her eyes to the screen. “Sure,” she says, less because she agrees and more because she doesn't wanna hear what else you like about Maya. “You had fun, then?”
“It was alright. You didn't miss out on too much,” the end of your sentence stretched out by a yawn, you cover your mouth lazily and rest back fully against the couch. “Jesse was drunk. They had to stop him from getting up on a table.”
Ellie chuckles. “I don't know, maybe he had something to say. I think I would’ve let him.”
“That's what I said,” you smile and let your head fall to the side, your cheek against the cushion. She feels you staring, enables it for a while by acting oblivious, falsely over-invested in some movie she can't remember the title of. She hears you move closer before she feels it— the shuffle of your clothes, the stupid jacket rubbing against her couch, so easily forgettable by the time your temple falls on her shoulder.
Ellie's about to fall asleep when she hears the little noise you make, something like a sniffle. For a worrying second she thinks she might’ve given you her cold, but then she feels the tip of your nose brush against her shoulder and she realizes you’re trying to breathe her in. 
“You always smell nice,” you whisper, half asleep.
Ellie swallows and prays to keep her body completely still, scared she’ll make the wrong move and have you pull away, scared you’ll lean closer and be able to hear the fast beating on her chest. She sounds breathy, “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you say. “Like fresh rain.”
Slow like the roll of credits playing on the TV, Ellie feels how every muscle in her body settles down, relaxed, content— fucking cocky. She wraps her arm around your shoulders and hopes the scent will rub off on the jacket and remind Maya of a cloudy autumn night, rain over her garden.
─────✧・゚: *✧・
THREE!
"Do you think we would've liked each other?" you ask, your legs resting on her lap while she fidgets mindlessly with the ruffled cuff of your socks. Every patrol lately ends the exact same way, a quiet walk home and a joint on Ellie’s couch. "Back when the world was normal?”
Ellie turns to look at you, blinking lazily, a reddish hue over her green. You’re not sure if she's more tired or high, but either way you're not doing much better— everything you’ve said during the past hour is the kind of thought you have when you're alone at night and your brain wanders, moments away from falling asleep. It's a meaningless question, but Ellie lets out a soft hum and thinks about it like it's worth considering. You're not sure if anyone you’ve met in your whole twenty years of life is as willing to indulge you as she is.
"Yeah," she says decidedly, in the same tone with which one would say duh. "We—" a yawn cuts her off, slender hand rubbing one of her eyes. "We would be friends, like, in college."
"I wouldn't be in college.”
Ellie frowns, takes one last inhale and discards the joint to the ashtray on her coffee table. "Why not?"
"'Cause I'm not smart like you," you shrug.
The fold between her eyebrows deepens. "You're smart," she argues, with enough conviction that you almost believe her, insisting, "You are."
"In other ways, sure—” Ellie opens her mouth to interrupt but you get ahead of her, “I’m not trying to talk badly about myself, I just don't think college would be for me.”
You’ve never been the most disciplined. It’s hard to imagine yourself staying up late to study, taking diligent notes in class. It feels ridiculous.
“I’d be working somewhere, I think. Making coffee for people or something.”
Ellie pauses before she nods, adjusting her daydream to what you’re saying, strangely committed. "Then we would meet there,” she makes it sound like the easiest thing in the world, a natural equation. “I'd go get coffee from you."
You chuckle. "You don't even like coffee that much."
Ellie shrugs, soft pink lips curved in a smirk that tells you she's sleepy and serves to warn you of the horror that's about to come out of her mouth.
You groan. “Don't—”
"Maybe I like the pretty girl that's making it."
“Awful,” you push her shoulder away, barely any force behind it, her giggles swimming comfortably around your head. “Never speak again.”
"Not my best work?" she asks, her fingers wrapping lazily around your shin. Too much, her brain warns, but then she remembers the pad of your finger over the back of her hand last night, the cursive lines with no purpose other than to be touching her— and it feels right, or like it's not enough. Too much soon turns to coward.
"Possibly your worst.”
She might be going crazy, but lately Ellie feels like you’re looking at her differently. In your eyes there's something gentle, awaiting, a tracing of your eyes over her face that says please. She chews on her lip, her eagerness painful. “We would like each other,” she doesn't think there's a world where you wouldn't, and if there was… "I'd make you like me."
You raise your eyebrows, teasing, "Oh, so like now?"
Her lips part with genuine surprise, more amused than offended. “...I made you, huh?” 
You regret the joke as soon as it comes out of your mouth, immediately brought back to your fourteen year old self, lonely and admittedly captivated by the auburn haired girl from next door. Flashes of you rushing to catch up with her, untied laces on your too tight sneakers, Ellie, do you wanna be friends? The sound of pages shuffling and her voice reading in whispers in the dead of night because you asked, can you talk to me until I fall asleep? Infatuated from the beginning, obsessed. Even now, on her couch, after spending a whole day together— do you like me? Would you like me, always?
A pillow crashes against the side of her face, her laugh almost louder than the embarrassed pounding of your heart. You pull your legs from her lap and lie back, fold your arms over your face. “You're so annoying.”
A lie so obvious it makes Ellie smile. She shifts to crawl closer, one knee on either side of you. “C’mon, I was joking,” she leans forward and you feel her knuckles tap your arm like she’s knocking on a door. The power to make you shy is still foreign to her, makes her feel drunk, thrilled. She doesn't remember having it before, but of course it was there. In little ways, in daily, simple things. Your eyes always looking for her first in any room, lighting up even after an especially bad pun, tracing her arms when the day becomes too hot to keep her jacket on. You like her, of course. How much time has she been wasting? The breath she lets out feels like it's been waiting to be let go, years spent stuck in her lungs. Ellie wraps her fingers around one of your wrists, her voice sweet, achingly soft. “Want me to tell you why I know I’d like you?”
You lower your arms just slightly, eyes peering up at her.
“Yeah?” she tilts her head.
You nod, arms coming down, unusually quiet.
Ellie grins, victorious. “Okay, but fair warning— it's worse than the coffee thing.”
You chuckle. “Is it?”
“Very.”
“Hm,” you hum, pretending to think about it, distracted by the vision of her practically sitting on top of you. Freckled face framed by the hair that's escaped her usual bun, softly lit by the warmth of the lamp on her desk. “Alright,” you say finally.
It takes Ellie a second to respond, momentarily dazed by the thought of being pretty enough for you to ogle like this. She clears her throat. “You ready?”
You tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear and away from her eyes. “Sure.”
Ellie waits for the nerves to come, but even as she parts her lips to speak, they never do. What a kind fate. “I know I’d like you because nothing’s ever made more sense to me— I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. I like you enough for a million lifetimes.”
You look at each other, bask in a moment of understanding. Your eyes on her lips, a hand on her waist that pulls her closer. “That was worse,” you agree.
Ellie moves to rest on her forearms, cages you in, her nose brushing against yours. “I told you.”
She waits, feels herself count once again, a final time, one, two—
A hand against the back of her neck brings her in and the quiet noise of her surprise vibrates against your lips, makes her smile into the kiss for just a second before the hunger takes over. Her hips readjusting over yours, knees pressing against your sides, Ellie kisses like it's a need rather than a whim. She takes and takes and swallows every sigh you make like it's a gift, four, five, six seconds of a messy trail of kisses down your neck to say thank you before she resurfaces again.
“Love you,” she breathes out, because suddenly all that talk about ‘like’ feels stupid— immature, incomparable to what she actually feels for you. “Need you.”
You moan against her lips and it's her favorite sound in the whole world, immediately, as quick as realizing she would fall in love with you the day she met you. “Love you, Ellie.”
A kiss to your clavicle, your hands pulling at her shirt and her thigh between yours. She makes you say it three more times.
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