#oh and also could do the same for the Very Questionable ethics and morality of the lazarus pit so like

[callingitquits]

Hi! Thank you very much for your contribution for Johan Liebert fans (I hate to love him but I do XD). I have a question for you if it wasn't answered already - how do you think Johan would react to his lover with Dr Tenma's personality and/or with similar beliefs to doctor. Would he still try to keep distance if they could see him for who he is?

Hope you have a nice day/night and keep doing great work I think you're one of few who can really dissect the core of who Johan really is and keep it realistic and for that I have nothing but praise

(additionally I'd like to see your take on more of post Monster Johan and how you think he may "changed" or navigates the world now that he's more "human" - emphasis on human because I don't think he'd really change that much and it'd be definitely difficult for him to "try living in society" or maybe he'd be hiding as he did before? I leave that to you)

First off—thank you for the kind words!! And for asking the kind of question that makes my brain do little somersaults. Yes, I love dissecting Johan (emotionally, not medically… probably), and this post is my attempt at tackling your ‘What if his partner was like Tenma?’ scenario. Because oh, he’d notice. And oh, he’d spiral.

As for your second question: post-Monster Johan… yeah, that’s gonna require several drafts, a gallon of iced coffee, and probably its own set of breakdowns (mine or his?). So stay tuned for that mess lmao.

Let’s get into it!

The Recognition

Johan would see it instantly. The way you speak about others.

The pause before you judge. How your eyes stay soft, even when they shouldn’t.

“You sound like him.”

He wouldn’t say this out loud. It would just echo in his mind almost accusingly. 

That same kindness, that conviction, that belief that even the most lost soul could be saved.

It would irritate him.

But also…. draw him in, because part of Johan has never stopped orbiting Dr. Tenma. Not out of hate. Out of obsession. 

Because Tenma is the only one who chose him, not out of fear or manipulation—but out of principle. And that shook Johan to his core.

Now, here is someone else doing the exact same thing.

Why would you choose me? Why do people like you always choose me?

Provocation and Psychological Prodding

He wouldn’t be openly cruel but would constantly edge around moral boundaries, presenting you with these small ethical dilemmas: minor manipulations, lies, half-truths… to see if you bend or break.

“You reach out your hand… but what if they’d rather drown? What then?”

This is a game for him: not out of malice, but because your refusal to collapse under nihilism challenges his worldview. It’s both frustrating and magnetic.

Resentment Laced with Fascination

If you continue to stand firm in your ideals, Johan’s fascination turns inward. Uncomfortably so. 

Like Tenma, your existence reminds him that a life not ruled by despair is possible.

He would hate how you make him feel small, and yet he’d seek you out anyway.

“You keep looking at me like there’s something left.”

Projection

Being with someone like that would feel like constantly living in Tenma’s shadow—but this time closer, more intimate.

He might project his complicated feelings for Tenma onto you without meaning to. Obsession. Rage. Longing. The desire to destroy. The wish to be understood.

“I see the same mercy in your eyes… the kind that kept me breathing longer than I deserved.”

He wouldn’t know whether he’s trying to punish you for being like him, or cling to you in hopes of rewriting that story. Fixing something that never quite healed.

The Paradox of Admiration and Contempt

Johan respects Tenma, almost reveres him. Though it’s twisted with disdain. He sees Tenma’s ideals as beautiful lies—and he resents how resilient they are. You would provoke that same push and pull.

He would sometimes catch himself watching you speak to others—defending someone, showing mercy, treating pain—and it would ache.

Because it makes him remember a world he told himself didn’t exist. One that still refuses to fall apart.

“You still believe in a dream.”

Softly, almost like a confession.

“I wonder how much of you will be left when it dies.”

The Core Truth

Johan does not see himself as redeemable. He resents being seen as broken because it implies he was once whole. 

Being treated like someone to ‘fix’ offends him—not because he wants to be left alone, but because it intrudes on the composed stillness he’s carved from his own ruin.

Attempts to ‘save’ him imply moral superiority. That’s what he truly detests: not your kindness, but your assumption that you understand him.That you could shape him into anything other than what he is.

“You speak as if you’ve seen the end of me… and decided it isn’t final.”

He tilts his head, voice soft as breath.

“That’s the part I find unforgivable.”

Subconscious Protection

Despite himself, Johan might begin to protect you—not from others, but from what you don’t yet understand: him. He knows what he is. What closeness becomes in his hands. 

If he loves you—it won’t be gentle. It will be possessive, consuming, threaded with the fear that he will unmake you just by being known. 

And so, without saying why, he starts to pull away. Not because he doesn’t want you close, but because he knows what happens when you are.

If I let you too close… I won’t know where I end and you begin.

And I don’t believe you’d survive that.

In essence: Johan with a Tenma-like partner is like a moth circling a flame he both wants to snuff out and be warmed by. He would never stop testing their ideals…. because if they hold, they threaten to undo everything he believes about the emptiness of humanity. And that, to Johan, is both deplorable and irresistible.

[bride-of-hemlock]

People who apply irl morality to judge whether a character's outcome in BG3 is their "good or bad" end (separate from "evil or good", fyi) really confuse me.

Basically saying "evil=bad, good=good" but...

They will too use Speak with Animals and then at camp eat meat/meat dishes. By real life logic, the spell confirms animals to be equally sentient (if less "civilized" cuz yk, animals) as humans - meaning only veganism is a moral way (by irl standards.)

Or how they don't realize "good Gods" doesn't mean "ethical" by irl rules - lots of good Gods in DnD would haplily smite down UA if given the chance, simply because he is a vampire.

Morality, as it exists in the real world, does not map at all into a fictional world where:

Magic, Gods, many afterlives, immortality, curses, spells that detect literall Goodness and Evilness, speaking to plants and animals (and then eating them after hearing their dreams), etc., etc. exist.

Now this is not to say "evil" actions are "good", it's just that it functions different, matters - less, in the world. I see people say "sending 7000 spawn to the Hells is like killing 7000 people irl! You have to be evil irl to defend such game choice!" (after they likely slaughtered bloodlines and children of goblins and absolute's people who also had dreams and could be really sweet inside, but it's ok, because they're ugly and "evil") and my eyes roll so hard they fall out and I have to pick them back up.

I guess my main point is that in a DnD world - or frankly, any world of fiction and fantasy - what is evil can also be good... It is quite funny - because cultists are deserving of a happy life just as the many sacrificed spawn, but Tav kills without remorse... And it's fine! Because they stand between Tav and their selfish goal, surviving vs surviving. A hero-bias, if you will: "the story says I'm the main character, so anything I do is Moral and Pure, because I'm a Moral and Pure person" (a belief of many "heroes" who kill "monsters" like Astarion, too.)

But then same players see (some of) sacrificed spawns as "cute little meow meows" (even tho they are clearly described in-text as they are in lore, mostly evil - which makes the selection we see in Cazador palace before seeing him highly suspicious, raising question of "what did he want to achieve? Play into Tav/Astarion's feelings to prevent them from stealing or stopping *his* Ascension?"), so ofc it's "wrong" to Ascend for selfish reasons (power, safety to heal on own's terms, because of "choice" not "lack of other choice, if I am bad I will be killed"), such Tavs will say. But that is clearly a double standard...

I think really, only way you can come to such conclusion if you pay little attention to text (and I played since EA, seen every possible route of romance/friend and origin of the other Player Characters/Origins, and play DnD for years now - evil alligned usually ♡) and only rely on epitext (fanon takes, tiktoks without contexts, fragments while discrading anything to contrary, first impression of emotion without deeper look) as main lense.

The assertion that a game route called "romance" with "romance" flags being seen as "canon tragedy, headcanon happy" is just projection (because I guess genre is irrelevant in literacy) and it's actually backwards imo (hot take I guess). And asserting it can't be happy because it's evil (and evil=unhappy) is, well - very american, I guess. I remember learning of Hays Code in university classes and the literal rules of "evil can't be happy" "evil can't be rewarded" "we must push moral lesson in romance because children/women r dumb" is 1:1 anti-AA talking points. "He must be evil because he did something "bad" therefore he must lose soul and can't love, abuse apologies," uh huh, you can just dislike something without making it about moral signaling and therapy-tok talk. It's literally fictional - Oh the horrors, lock us in fiction jail... Just because progressive and big words are used doesn't mean it's better if you repeat same thoughts of puritan censoring. Something about thought crimes is brought to mind too... Anyway, don't want to tangent.

~~~

Evil deserves happy endings, and AA gets one.~ ♡

And Tav is happy with him if *they* love *him*, like he does.~♡

He deserves to feel the sun on his smiling face - to shine like the brightest star; not to dim quietly, like one whose light will soon extinguish.

xoxo ꨄ︎

[fables-if]

Ok, now the grim classic: If the cast could either choose MC or the world to save, which would they choose?

Additional: Based on their answer, how would they react to MC begging for the opposite? By that, I mean, for example, someone from the cast choosing to save MC, but then MC begs them to save the world.

Oh. Interesting questions, this is going to be a tough one. 

Ana: Ana is choosing MC, no matter what. She knows the ethical choice is to save the world, but there's something in her that makes it impossible to let MC die.

If MC were begging for the opposite, she'd cry and doubt herself. She knows the weight of sacrificing the world is a heavy one, but leaving MC to die when they're such a fundamental part of her life is unthinkable. MC is super important for every route, but in Ana's case, having MC in her life makes her want to keep on living, even if her life will never be peaceful due to her situation. So she would hug MC and with tears in her eyes, she'd whisper, "I know what you want, yet I also know that I'm unable to honor that wish. Hate me if you must, but in every lifetime, I would choose you over and over again"

With a heavy heart, she would choose them even if they hate her, even if she would never have them in her life. Because her existence was changed by meeting them, and because her love for them (platonic or romantic) is too strong, too powerful to let them die for the sake of the world. 

Dix: Dix is also choosing MC. They would burn the world for them, and I MC knows that. Once Dix gets attached to someone, they're loyal to the core. They would never leave them behind. 

If MC were begging for them to choose the world, I think they would think about it and would hear their arguments. In the end, if MC is sure, they'll honor their wishes. Because for Dix, freedom is very important, and when you love someone and respect them as an equal, you honor their choices. So with a heavy heart, and tears shining in their eyes, they would make the choice MC's desires. 

Dix would be destroyed after MC's death, knowing they did the right thing, but the heartache remains. They would get help because it's what MC would have wanted; they would put themselves into therapy, do the work, better themselves, and accept the grief. They would honor their death by making sure they're not forgotten by others and also by allowing themselves to live the life MC would have wanted. 

An: An would have a hard time deciding. Between the world and their best friend and potential lover, and would have a panic attack. An would lean towards choosing the world, but in the end, for them, it comes to whatever MC prefers. If MC wants them to choose the world, then they choose the world, but if MC wants them to choose them, they would do it.

An is like this because their connection with MC runs deep, they have known each other since they were babies, and have seen each other grow up. At the same time, An has younger siblings, a family they love, and a world of people who don't get to make the choice. So at the end,  MC's life is on the line, and in their mind, MC should get to choose, so they just as MC and they follow their wishes. Because that's what best friends do. 

Bingen: Bingen is choosing the world, and he's going to be miserable for the rest of his life because of that. Bingen loves MC deeply, passionately, with all his heart. However, he can't live knowing he's sacrificing the world, full of life, in exchange for keeping his friend or his lover. Bingen thinks it's the correct choice, and he will be destroyed by losing MC and for being responsible for their death. 

If MC begs for their life, and pleads with Bingen to save them, he would start to cry. He would hug MC tightly while crying, knowing MC  wants to live and that he's still choosing the other option because his morals are too strict.

He would caress MC's face while crying, and he'd cry, "I know you won't forgive me, and I don't deserve it. I hope in another life I would be able to be more selfish, my darling".

After MC's passing, he would be a wreck, knowing he went against their choice for the greater good or to save more lives. I think he would live a few years into perpetual guilt until Ana and some others convince him to seek professional help. I think after a few years, he would get better, but the experience would make a deep mark on him

That was so much fun!!

[dearest-departed]

alright—

let today mark the moment i crawl out of my miserable shell to try something new.

i’ve been meaning to create something, a specific environment in my own cozy little corner of the web where we can discuss things like politics, religion, personal experience- the works. so the past few days i’ve been cooking this up. (be forewarned, this is a lot)

a trial run, perhaps- the ball is in your court, a segment of discussion topics from yours truly. i want to hear from YOU, my tumblr following, or strangers we pick up along the way.

there’s no pressure to interact with me. not in the slightest- but a gentle push here and there can’t hurt. right? (right?)

mm. now, you may be wondering;

“Andrew, what sparked this idea?”

well i’m glad you asked!

when this idea first came to me i was dissociating in the back of an oven on wheels. total out of body, watching-from-afar type of dissociation. my first question to you would’ve been- what are your experiences with that? but for my first time initiating these discussions.. i wanted to go with something a more.. philosophical approach.

so my question to you, Tumblr, is—

Would you sacrifice your thoughts and beliefs for a presumably better life, and continue to sacrifice them to keep that life?

i’ll lead with an example;

society has undergone a transformation— you have your bottom feeders, the scum- discarded and thrown away. your “common folk”, middle class- relatively ignored and disregarded by most. and on top of the food chain, the upper echelon, the elites. (wonderfully done andrew, you’ve just explained TODAYS society!)

you find yourself amongst the lowest of the low, just barely scraping by. so let’s say you’ve just been granted an opportunity to move up the ranks and have your “rags to riches” moment. but in order to be granted this title, to metamorphose (or so to speak)— you have to betray your core principles. this could be religiously, morally and ethically, or even socially. let’s say (for examples sake), this means plowing down a thousand year old tree that’s connected to many spiritual traditions— or something a bit less hands on, like allowing your likeness to be the face of an ad campaign that promotes a more modern approach to lobotomizing the masses. (cute, right?)

now;

really think about it. one’s first response might be “no, no way i’d do that”. so put yourself in those shoes and really imagine it. you’re treated like shit day in and day out, kicked, spat at, berated and belittled. maybe you’re at your wits end. who knows? this is your imagined scenario to do as you please with. shoot me replies in my asks, and i’ll share my own thoughts with you.

disclaimer; i don’t expect this to go anywhere. ignore me, or watch from afar— but i wanted a way to really engage with tumblr in a way that wasn’t just “oh, send me questions! pick my brain for hours on end and make me really contemplate the things i keep shoved so so so so so so so very far down!” i’d also love to hear your questions, your prompts. so have fun or.. send me anthrax in the mail. whatever

based on how well this does i’ll have a lot more to ask you guys in the future. fill up my time with something to contemplate, and i’ll do the same.

until we meet again,

forever will i be that rock stuck in your sole. you can try to get me out, but no amount of poking and prodding and digging will remove the roots i’ve spread throughout your flesh and bone.

[moretheta]

ok holy shit holy shit. theories are about to go wild. holy shit. tangled thoughts and theories below the cut:

now we have to consider a few things : firstly, are we going to assume that the prince in question knows? i think judging by longhi's comment, beyond would at least have some level of contact with them- although they might not know about their parentage. second assumption i'm making is that beyond's kid is alive. not just for story purposes, but because, knowing beyond and his tactics he would have surely placed high protections on the child in question to ensure they won.

which leaves:

benjamin - implicitly ruled out by longhi herself. i give it 5% chance she's wrong (if we're assuming that there is, in fact, a bastard in the ranks)

camilla- doubtful considering like. everything we know about camilla and her unwillingness to work with other people. 8% chance

zhang lei - we've had a lot of his POV, and he's thusfar given us no indication that he has any hunter association connections. but he also gave me illegitimate child vibes (i thought his dad might be onior) so who knows. 30% chance

tserriedich. no way. that man is evil enough.2%

tubeppa- would be ironic, considering longhi works for her... although maybe she does have suspicions and is hoping to do some corporate espionage idk. 20%

tyson - this one gave me pause. tyson is one of the more mysterious princes so far, we don't know a lot about her inner world so it wouldn't surprise me if she was hiding something. 40%

luzurus- listen.we all know this man looks NOTHING like his other full(!) siblings. i had theorized that he was actually the child of the cha'r mob boss, brocco li (togashi... you're killing me togashi) due to the resemblance and benefactor relationship between the two. and being of the bloodline might be enough for the seed urn to work idk. but he doesn't look particularly like beyond either.... but who knows the guys mysterious and both he and tyson have kurapika's guys posted on them so presumably they have some level of plot importance. 45%

salé-salé- DEAD!!! HAHAHAAA .0001%

halkenburg - oh this would kill me. i can't imagine him compromising his ethics for a guy like beyond, but depending on how gullible he is... and we do know he trusts tserriednich for some reason... oh boy i hope not. but yk, dramatic irony's a bitch. 25%

kacho- :( .00001%

fugetsu - initially discounted her bc of the twin thing, but upon further consideration the sisters are clearly fraternal & look almost nothing alike. could fugetsu have been a changeling child raised as kacho's twin? idk, but it might offer some insight into her current Cursed condition. 15%

momoze more dead kids oh boy .000001%

maryam - initially i ruled him out, as i did with most of the younger kids because it makes more sense timeline wise... but now that i think about it it's indeed interesting that queen sevranti always (and very obviously) favored one of her children over the other. there are many ways to interpret her behavior, but this could be one of them. 48%

woble .....

ok listen. i could see a case being made- she's the only prince we haven't seen the nen beast of, and some where already theorizing her to be illegitimate. (this brings up the question of loopholes in the seed urn ceremony: is it enough to be the child of a queen? or do you need the kings direct bloodline. because if it's latter than would in fact rule out anyone with a nen beast- which is everyone but woble). however, oito's reaction seems to be one of genuine shock; not sure if the pendulum would swing if she's in the room and not being pointed at, so we can't be entirely certain she's not lying, but at the same time oito doesn't seem the type to be putting on an act at this point. and the other possibility is that she's telling the truth and was SA'd by a beyond pretending to be nasubi. pretty unpleasant to think about so for my sake i hope that's not the case. it would, however, make quite a moral conundrum for kurapika. but at the same time i also dont think longhi would reach out to make this contract in the first place if she suspected it was woble? idk insider information says to have doubts. but the nen beast.... hm. 22%

regardless, the confirmation of an bastard child amongst the "legitimate princes" would of course make the treatment of nasubi's other illegimate children all the more cruel oh my god does morena know-

oh my god?!? could it be morena???!???!!? like, she's not part of the succession war proper, so she technically can't win... unless beyond's plan isn't to win? maybe he has some other goal? but i can't imagine morena's goals of total chaos aligning with beyond's power-hungry schemes....

much to think about!

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

hello! I really liked your character analysis, especially Hobie and the interactions with Diane (she´s very groovy and beautiful n.n) so, I wanted to ask you if you think Hobie could make good friends with someone with a symbiote and the symbiote itself, my spidersona (symbiotesona?) is one of those. I know there´s some story between Hobie and symbiotes in his universe but I couldn't find the comics where it is explained.

You're amazing and keep going!

Oh absolutely!

Especially for Hobie - He has a symbiote dog!

Hobie is accepting of everyone (he's the best I love him) even symbiotes!!

In his universe, V.E.N.O.M was used in his universe as a weapon for President Osborn's police force - but I think Hobie would see the underlying greed and cruelty of the cops as the problem, and not the symbiote.

If anything I think he'd really respect your sona -

Cause that takes a lot of mental fortitude, and moral and strength in general so he'd be like 'That's fucking metal.'

If there's side effects, or conflict between your sona and the symbiote - I think he'd always want to help, and would like, speak to them as separate people lol

He knows that sharing the same body doesn't make them the same person, and that your sona was full person before the symbiote, so he would see them as a Duo - like two partners in crime.

He'd be really careful about his music playing and volume cause he wouldn't want to hurt your sona, so he would always give a heads-up.

Diane would be SO interested - and she'd probably have to think about SO MUCH, get prepared for a lot of questions!

Diane is pretty clever - but a little naive, so she'd be solidly in the 'All Aliens Come in Peace.' Star Trek started in 1966 - so Diane basically grew up with it around.

A symbiote is something alien, so it can't be murderous and evil - even if it eats people. It's not from here!! Don't be mean to them!!!

If your symbiote eats people, or needs meat, Diane would..honestly not be that freaked out. She'd have to think about it.

"So, Do you eat people on your planet?"

"Well, I guess that's not too bad. I mean..some people have a pet pig, some people eat pig, some do both. So it's like..the same, right? Not that you see humans as pets, you know -"

If humans can not snap and eat their pets and stuff, maybe this symbiote knows food from friends like them! If anything, Diane would be upset if people rushed to judge your sona OR the symbiote.

Her defense : "They didn't ask to come to this planet!" or Hobie's favorite -

"Why are you shaming them! They're not the only immoral ones. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism!!"

Hobie knows she is just repeating something she heard him say one time - and that is NOT what that phrase means, but he thinks its funny, so he lets her say it.

The three (four - actually) could have so much fun!

Hobie would probably get them hearing protectors so they can hang out backstage without getting hurt.

And y'all can deck it out with cool stickers and punk marker graffiti!

And although beef and stuff probably doesn't compare, Diane would still try making stuff like beef tartare, koi soi, or other raw meat dishes, just to see if they like 'em!

She LOVES sushi, so sashimi is a must to try - She'd want everyone to feel included at the potluck - it's only right, nobody leaves hungry!!!!

[Also thank you so much for the sweet words!!! I know I take literally forever to go through my inbox (it takes me very very long and im gonna point at adhd) but these things really brighten my day and give me the inspiration to keep sharing. It means a lot, thank you!!]

[crowleys-bentley-and-plants]

A curious ask for a criminology student. Which is worse: a guilty man going free or an innocent man being sent to prison? Why?

oh anon i will never shut up now i love this question. prepare for the biggest word vomit you have ever seen lol

okay so first, this question is very vague, because what is the guilty man guilty of? stealing something once isn't as bad as murdering hundreds of people for example (to give an extreme example lol). same goes with the innocent man, going to prison for a couple of years is far less severe than being sentenced to life for something they didn't do (not gonna include the death penalty because firstly my country doesn't have it and secondly im fundamentaly against it)

however, if we take a general view grounded in ethics and principles of justice, many legal scholars and philosophers (such as William Blackstone who famously said "it is better that ten guilty persons escape than one innocent suffer") argue that sending an innocent person to prison is worse. i tend to agree with this because i think the legal system should prioritize protecting the rights of individuals, especially when it comes to something as severe as taking away someone's freedom. the foundation of justice should be built on the principle that it’s more important to avoid harming innocent people than to ensure that every guilty person is punished.

a wrongful conviction doesn't just harm the individual, it also weakens the moral authority of the justice system itself. when the system makes such errors, it undermines public confidence in its fairness and reliability, which can have a ripple effect, causing people to doubt its ability to deliver justice in future cases.

on the other hand, allowing a guilty person to go free could endanger public safety. it can also lead to a sense of injustice for the victims and society as a whole, who expect the legal system to hold wrongdoers accountable. additionally, when a guilty person is not punished, it could send a message that criminal behavior doesn't always have consequences, potentially encouraging more lawbreaking. in this sense, the legal system fails to fulfill its duty to maintain order and deter future crimes.

ultimately, i think it depends on the values we prioritize: protecting society at large or protecting the rights of individuals. both outcomes are harmful in different ways, but for me, the wrongful imprisonment of an innocent person strikes at the heart of what justice is supposed to stand for. a justice system that fails in this regard loses its legitimacy, and without that foundation of fairness, the system itself starts to break down.

if you take both extremes, so a mass murderer going free against an innocent person being put in prison for life, then i think it's definitely the innocent person going to jail that's worse. after all, in many legal systems, the principle of "innocent until proven guilty" emphasizes that it is better to err on the side of letting a guilty person go free than to risk imprisoning the innocent. but if you start thinking about a mass murderer going free vs someone being put in prison for idk 6 months, then the situation becomes more complex. while the mass murderer being free clearly represents a greater immediate threat to society, the question still hinges on how we value individual rights versus collective safety. i think most legal professionals would argue that collective safety in this case is more important. like Jeremy Bentham said "the greatest happiness of the greatest number is the foundation of morals and legislation." from this view, allowing a mass murderer to go free would be a serious failure of the legal system, as it would likely lead to more harm to society and further endanger innocent lives.

which is true of course, but a justice system that consistently prioritizes security over fairness risks becoming oppressive. if the system starts to wrongfully imprison individuals, even for short periods, in the name of protecting the public (the "better safe than sorry" argument), it could create a dangerous precedent. this could lead to abuses of power, where innocent people are routinely sacrificed for the perceived greater good, eroding public trust in the system over time.

so yea i believe that prioritizing the protection of the innocent is critical. if a legal system loses sight of that, it risks sacrificing its moral authority in the name of safety, leading to deeper systemic problems in the long run

disclaimer: this is just my opinion, you dont have to agree with me. i would love hearing other point of views but please be respectful about it

[cee-grice]

Hello! I'm getting caught up on all your amazing asks here... But here's my pre-emptive Ask for Storytelling Saturday for next week:

Describe your WIP in bullet points so my ADHD brain gets it quickly!

hey hey Belle!! oh man, I also have to clean out my inbox, it's getting a bit embarrassing haha... I know you said this is a pre-emptive STS ask, but!.. I saw it and got excited lol, so you're getting it answered Now

so! my current WIP, When White Crows Cry, described in bullet points:

(this is gonna be long)

it's a science fantasy?? only instead of robots and space we have chemistry and pathology lol

also dark academia vibes

set in a secondary world reminiscent of 19th century-esque europe, only with modern advancements in science

the magic system is science-based - essentially, if you wanna manipulate the fabric of reality, you gotta. understand said fabric of reality

so, to cast a believable illusion you need to perfectly understand color and light and depth and all that (so you gotta be a kickass realism artist lol)

or, to change a glass ball into a gold one, you gotta understand the molecular composition of each material and know how to manipulate it so it would change forms

there's one tiny teensy issue with magic, though - it is a limited resource ahaha

ANYWAY that's the gist of it

main character - Quil, an exceptional transmutation mage who got exiled some years ago for performing human transmutation (very bad very taboo)

(he, of course, continues doing human transmutation)

(despite the Trauma)

the second most important character - Endra, who has this nasty magical parasite slowly eating away at his body and mind, and his only hope at a cure is... human transmutation

you can see where this is going

anyway so that's the Past timeline - Quil trying to figure out what's going on with Endra's body and finding a way to fix it

(this is also the Romance timeline lol)

we also have the Present timeline

and that starts with Quil getting revived a year after his death in the country he'd gotten exiled from

:0!

(that's literally the first chapter so it's not a spoiler lol)

anyway he gets offered a Deal - help his ex-mentor with her project that could potentially save magic, and in exchange he'd get amnesty

the issue? he really, really hates his ex-mentor

and he would have really, really preferred to stay dead

this whole magic dying thing is Not his problem, either lol

counter issue? the project concerns the same magic parasite that Endra had (has?), so it could put him in danger, and Quil quite literally would die again before he let that happen, so.

he agrees

(so that he could sabotage it lol)

but also! Quil doesn't know what happened with Endra post his death, so that's something he works on figuring out as well

(he gets far more questions than answers. where IS this guy)

anywayyy that's the gist of the story

now for the lightning round

this would be for you if any of this intrigues you:

highly questionable academic and medical ethics

characters forsaking morality to get what they want and losing sight of what truly matters

So Much Interpersonal Drama

no physical fights - a Lot of verbal fights

dealing with the horrors of resurrection

dealing with the horrors of facing your loved ones after they'd mourned you for a year

a cast of eccentric scientists

an obsessive, codependent queer romance between people who don't know how the other looks like

a lot of fucked up queer characters in general

an incredibly spiteful trans protagonist who just wants to be left the fuck alone but everyone insists on dragging him into their shit, so instead he's gonna Make them leave him alone

everyone wanting you to live apart from You

magic biology! magic chemistry! magic science! nerd shit!

anyway oof idk if this helps but omggg is it hard to explain a fantasy story quickly ahaha....

(this is the general tag for this wip so u can check out more stuff about it that's explained in a more cohesive manner lol)

[ailelie]

I really love how the new Magnum PI handled Abby.

Backstory: Thomas Magnum lives on the large, Hawaiian estate of the man who turned his life into bestselling novels. The estate is managed by Julia Higgins, former MI6 agent, now majordomo. Their relationship is rather antagonistic at the start, but develops into mostly fond antagonism with a steel core of mutual trust.

Other than some looks when one realizes "oh, this person is more than I thought" (mostly on Higgins' side), this is not portrayed romantically. When they feign to be a couple for a job, nothing is played for romance. In fact, they discuss dating. Higgins helps Magnum make up with Abby (who he had gone on a date with as a persona for a job). When Higgins has a date, Magnum only asks to tag along because it is with a baseball player he admires.

At the same time, they are growing increasingly in sync and it is developing into a lovely "everyone sees it but them" scenario.

So, Abby, begins to notice this at the end of season 1, but doesn't say anything. She doesn't question Magnum or make demands of him. She recognizes that Magnum/Higgins isn't a thing and that Magnum would never be unfaithful (especially not after his experience with his former fiancee), but she also sees that Higgins is very important to him.

In season 2, Abby realizes that a man she helped defend (to the point of a hung jury) is guilty (his newly published book contains details she'd known, but had never shared with him). Enlisting Magnum's help (to be fair, it isn't her who asks and she does tell him she wishes he hadn't said 'yes') and helping Magnum goad her client into revealing where he buried the bodies go against her ethics as a lawyer. (She even tells Magnum at one point. He says that putting the author in prison is the right thing to do. She replies "Morally? Yes. Ethically? No.")

At the end of the case, her license is revoked. She tells Magnum she is moving to the mainland to open a pro bono legal clinic (and points out that she can no longer practice in Hawaii). He immediately starts strategizing for long distance, but she stops him.

I don't think this case was a test, but I think, after it was over, Abby reflected on it as if it were--not of Magnum, but of herself. If she stays, her life would be like that case over and over again. She would have to find a way to fit into the private eye business alongside Magnum and his new partner, Higgins.

(Magnum had spent the last few episodes campaigning Higgins to become his partner in the business, rather than just the person he hit up for technological favors and occasional back-up).

I think she realized that they could work, but working required sacrifices of her own identity she wasn't willing to make to fit into a mold someone else (Higgins) was already occupying.

She tells Magnum "good-bye" and that he'll find his match, that the perfect person for him is closer than he thinks. Then she leaves.

I love this because Abby/Magnum was a fun pairing and Abby did not leave Magnum because his job was too dangerous or he wasn't who she thought or she was jealous of Higgins. Instead, she leaves because (a) she has to if she wants to keep practicing the law, and (2) she realizes they aren't right for each other, that fitting into each other's worlds would require too many changes.

She is never villainized. She is always classy. Her relationship with Magnum was super in the background, but it mattered to them both. It just wasn't the right relationship for either of them.

[haljathefangirlcat]

I find it interesting that of the Norse gods, only the Vanir are given myths of a detailed courtship and wedding. The Aesir couples that mythology mentions: Odin and Frigg, Thor and Sif, Loki and Sigyn, Bragi and Idunn, Sunna and her barely-seen husband, are all mentioned as married right off the bat. Recorded mythology never describes how they came together, they're just said to be married, and sometimes said to love each other. The only exception is Saxo's Hodr/Nanna, but Saxo liked to mix and match mythological motifs anyway, so the original myth could just be Hodr lusted for Nanna and tried to abduct her, thus eventually leading to Baldr's murder and Vali being born to avenge the kinslaying. (There is a Scandinavian ballad motif that's also present in England called Svend i Rosengard/Sven in the Rose Garden, where one brother slays the other and is forced to confess to his deed after being questioned by the mother. The motive is always something trivial or even cryptic like, "it was for the cutting of a twig that would never be a tree", and the killing itself is sometimes an accident where one brother's knife slips, but sometimes the two brothers are fighting over the same woman.)

The Vanir couples do have detailed marriage stories. Skadi and Njord have a mostly comedic myth about their marriage and separation, and Frey has an elaborate myth about his longing for Gerd. Freyja has no details about her courtship, but there's also the theory that she and Odr are just doublets of Odin and Frigg, so they don't really need a marriage myth.

Conversely, in Greco-Roman mythology, for all their ups and downs and questionable ethics by today's standards, almost every divine couple gets a myth about their marriage. You have couples like Zeus and Hera, but also more minor gods like Vertumnus and Pomona or Cupid and Psyche. Even Cronus and Rhea get a myth where they wrestle another divine couple for control over Olympus.

See, that's a difference I always found kind of funny, too. I like to imagine there might have been some courtship and marriage myths on the Aesir side, too, perhaps even very dramatic ones considering all the implied drama between, say, Odin and Frigg and Thor and Sif, or even Bragi and Idun. But, ofc, even if that was the case, we'd probably never learn about them. Then again, from the Aesir (and numbered-among-the-Aesir ;)) we get two very romantic story elements like Sigyn's bowl of venom and Nanna's all-too-literal heartbreak, so...

Speaking of Nanna, I love that you mentioned the version of Balder's death in Gesta Danorum because 1. I actually adore that version, lol, GD!Hod is such an adorable anxious mess of a guy and they just keep putting him in situations (even Saxo's moralizing narrator won't let him catch a break!), 2. I was reading some Beowulf-related stuff recently and kinda started crack-theorizing that Saxo put Hod's eumerized form and his story where he did just because Danish Kings' Names Start With An H, 3. there's a very interesting work by Anatoly Liberman, Some Controversial Aspects of the Myth of Baldr, that, iirc, does propose a "tragic love triangle with Hod as the bad guy" origin for Balder's death. (... also, 4. if you don't know the Danish comic Valhalla by Peter Madsen, please read it because it's amazing AND the way it combines Saxo and the Eddas in the issue The Ballad of Balder is just *chef's kiss*)

As for the Vanir, leaving aside the eternal Frigg/Freya problem, what always stuck out to me the most is that, while there's a lot of elements ranging from the unusual to the bizarre to the clearly comedic in Skadi's wedding (look, the woman is the one who dons the armor and goes on the bridal quest, while the man waits to be won! But she can only choose him by his feet! Oh, and now she's gone and accidentally picked one guy when she wanted another! And Loki's tied a goat to his...!), Freyr's doesn't, imo, really fare that much better. I mean, sure, it's not unusual for a nobleman to send his servant to court the girl he wants to marry for him, especially when he has good reason to think the girl's family won't exactly welcome him with open arms... but you wouldn't really expect him to go from lounging around sighing and brooding and leaving his family in various states of concerned "????" to immediately losing possesion of his Awesome Magical Sword as soon as he finally resolves to just send his servant to court the girl. Even with all the obvious differences, it honestly reminds me a bit of Gunther, Siegfried, and Brunhild, specifically in the Nibelungenlied. Except I think even there Gunther might have been actually a little more proactive... and the consequences of his choices were a bit more, so to say, direct...

There's also something to say about how the Aesir have, as far as we know, only jotun lovers while the Vanir have jotun wives, I think. Or rather, I know a lot has been said about it. But I got really into those theories years ago, so now everything's a bit tangled up in my head and I'm not quite sure anymore of what I read and what I made up myself, lol.

[prairiesongserial]

23.12

“Alright, listen up,” Alte said. “You can ask me to repeat the question as many times as you want, discuss it as much as you want, and you get as many cracks at it as you want. But none of the other students can tell you what to say, got it? You can’t give me someone else’s answer.”

From John and Cassidy’s conspicuous lack of protest, Val supposed this was how the rules on the other floors had been. It seemed a little harsh to make Percy take on questions meant for older students without any assistance, but the little prince had a good attitude about it all the same; he nodded at Alte with gravitas.

“Understood,” Percy said.

“I’ve been helping him with books when he needs it,” Cassidy said. “Since he only reads English.”

Alte shrugged. “That’s fine. I didn’t think two little kids would learn Hebrew overnight–no offense to them.”

“None taken,” Percy said. “May I have the question now?”

“Oh, right.” Alte cleared her throat. She stood up straighter, maybe an attempt to get a bit more into character as a floor master, and started to recite. “There’s an out of control train heading for five strangers tied up on the tracks. You’re watching it from outside, standing next to a switch that will redirect the train onto a different track. But another person, someone you know, is tied up on the other track. If you flip the switch, they’ll die instead. According to halacha, what should be done?”

“Oh, hell,” Cassidy swore, before Alte had even finished talking. “You’re still doing this one?”

“It’s a classic ethical dilemma,” Alte replied, blank-faced.

“It’s a stupid one,” Cassidy said. They were pacing now, and had taken off their jacket, twisting the fabric of it between their hands. “First of all, it’s not a situation you’d ever have to worry about in the real world–which, don’t get me wrong, I know is the point, but what are we doing here if not preparing you students to apply halacha to real world problems? And second of all–”

“They never passed their eighth-year exams, by the way,” Alte said, addressing Val.

“I left before finals, thank you very much,” Cassidy said. “Second of all, it doesn’t matter what halacha says in this case, because you’ve got the moral responsibility to save as many people as possible. Jam the wheels of the train for all I care, but figure it out.”

“The question isn’t asking what you would do,” Alte pointed out.

The two swapped to Yiddish and began to argue, Cassidy punctuating each point with spirited hand gestures. Alte remained straight-faced, hands laced behind her back, though Val could see an amused smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. She had been serious when she’d said she enjoyed disagreements the night before.

“What would you do?” John asked abruptly, turning around to face Val.

Val blinked. “Me?”

John nodded once, brusquely. “About the train.”

“I don’t know.” 

Despite how adamant Cassidy was that the problem had no basis in reality, Val wasn’t so sure that was true. The decision at the core of it–judging the value of one life against the value of many–was the same decision Johannes had made, when he’d chosen to fight Hemisphere at the barricade in Maine. He’d thrown himself and everyone else into danger because he’d gotten attached to Val, and he’d died for it.

“I think I would sacrifice one person for the sake of the five,” Val said, aloud. “That way you’re saving the most lives, aren’t you?”

John gave him an odd look.

“What?” Val asked. His throat tightened as remembered, unbidden, the parable of the shepherd carrying the lost sheep home on his shoulders. “What would you do?”

“I would save the person I knew,” John said. 

Considering everything John had been through for the sake of a single person, that made sense.

“Well, it’s not about what any of us would do personally, is it?” Percy piped up. He’d been standing in place, eyebrows furrowed in thought, though evidently also listening in on the conversation. “Personally, I would find a way to stop the train before anyone got hurt. But the question is what, according to the rabbis, should…”

He trailed off. There was a spark of realization in his eyes. Without another word, he turned on his heel and marched off into the bookshelves, clearly in search of something specific. Even Cassidy and Alte stopped bickering to watch him go; both cringed as Percy began yanking books down without any particular rhyme or reason, causing a minor avalanche in his wake.

“I’ll go help,” Cassidy said, switching to English and trotting off after the prince. “Menashe, hold your horses, you’re making a mess–”

*

The morning passed quickly. Percy and Cassidy didn’t emerge from the stacks for some time. Apparently the prince was cooking up an argument that needed very specific sources, or quite a lot of them. The other eighth-year students took a healthy interest in Gawain; John hovered nearby, stone-faced, watching the teenagers give the boy piggy-back rides and perform sleight-of-hand tricks for his entertainment.

Val, for his part, was studying the Yiddish dictionary again, his second cup of coffee going cold on the table. He glanced up briefly when Alte sat down across from him, but they stayed in companionable silence for a while before she spoke.

“You can take that with you, if you want,” she said. “We’ve got plenty.”

“Really?” Val asked.

“Sure. No one will miss it.” She took a sip of her own coffee, holding the mug in both hands.

“I don’t want to take your books.”

“It’s not taking if I’m offering. It’s a gift.” Alte looked at him sternly over the rim of the mug, a look that dared him to argue. “Don’t be Catholic about it.”

“I’m being polite,” Val protested. “I don’t think–”

“Too late. Book’s yours. You can’t give it back now.”

Val was prevented from arguing any further by Percy’s reemergence from the stacks. The prince carried with him a page of what looked like handwritten notes, and approached Alte confidently where she sat, Cassidy loping along behind him.

“I think I’ve got it,” he said.

“Okay,” Alte replied. “Tell me.”

“You don’t do anything,” Percy said. “According to the law, the correct answer is to walk away.”

Alte arched her eyebrows. “What makes you say that?”

“Well,” Percy said, and sat down next to her with his notes. “At first I thought, ‘thou shalt not kill’ being one of the major commandments, you ought to try and save as many people as possible. But Cassidy argued with you because that wasn’t the answer you were looking for–even if it is the morally responsible thing. Which made me think, how much killing are you really responsible for in this situation?”

“But you’re still a bystander,” Alte prodded him. “Aren’t you complicit if you’re watching without doing anything?”

“No,” Percy said. “I think you’re only complicit if you’re making the choice between who lives and who dies. Oholot tells us that one must not set aside one person’s life for another, and, er…” He paused to squint at his notes. “Pesachim relates a story about a man who was told to kill or be killed, but was told by Rava that it was preferable to be killed in that situation. Rava asks him, ‘why do you think your blood is redder than another’s?’”

“And because of this, you should walk away?” Alte asked.

“Yes, I think so.” Percy nodded. “The Foundations of the Torah also tells us that if a group is told to hand over one member or be killed, it’s preferable for everyone to be killed than to hand over that one person. Which isn’t exactly the same case, but it’s a bit comparable, isn’t it? So I think, in the situation of your train problem, you violate the law the moment you touch the switch.”

Alte set her coffee cup down and stood up, looking down contemplatively at Percy. Val was afraid for a brief moment that she was going to tell the boy he’d failed–the solution he’d come up with did seem crazy, even if he had the sources to back it up. Then, Alte smiled, and offered the prince a hand up from his seat.

“Well done, Menashe,” she said. “Pass.”

“I don’t agree with it,” Percy said, taking her hand and standing. “I feel as though I should say. I agree with Cassidy that you ought to save as many as possible. But you saying that it was about the law, not what Cassidy thinks, was a good hint.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Alte said, smiling. “I don’t give hints.”

Percy nodded solemnly. “Of course not.”

“Well, now that that’s done,” Cassidy said, clapping Percy on the back, “we should get going. Not that it hasn’t been a great little visit, but let’s finally have the conversation we came here for, hey?”

Val blinked, nodded, and got up. He’d almost forgotten there was an end to all the time they’d already spent in the tower, an end that was now one floor above them. He caught John’s eye from across the room and saw that they were both thinking the same thing–the faster they got this over with, the faster they could get back on the road to meet up with Cody and Friday in Italy.

“Come and visit me in England when you graduate,” Cassidy said to the eighth-years, scooping Gawain up off the floor and tucking the boy under one arm–Gawain squealed happily, already riled up from all the attention from the students. “I’ll show you my boat.”

“You have a boat?” Roza asked, incredulous.

Cassidy laughed, and declined to elaborate. Instead, they toted Gawain over towards the stairwell, putting a hand on Percy’s back to steer him there as well. John followed them closely, wearing his usual neutral expression, hands tucked in his pockets.

Something nudged Val’s elbow; it was Alte, putting the Yiddish dictionary into his hands. He shot her a look, and she smiled with a shrug.

“I told you,” she said. “It’s a gift. Use it in good health.”

He nearly argued with her again, then thought better of it, and closed his hands around the book.

“Thank you,” he said, and hurried to meet everyone else at the door.

23.11 || 23.13

[delta-lethonomia]

for the fic writer ask game! ✅ 🎶 ⛔️ 🦉

thank youuuuu alrighty time to procrastinate 😅 ( be warned it's long, as always.)

✅ list one or two favorite lines you’ve written and explain why they’re your favorite

oh man... what an intense question... both of these are from Stinging Nettle Wine just because that's the freshest in my head rn:

With a clear yet quiet voice, she’d asked that the shutters be closed before the sun set enough to burn her, and given Tav a fright so sudden she’d jumped like a spooked animal, whacking her kneecap on the underside of the desk with enough force that she’d nearly spilled her tea.

The comedy of the scene just gets me. Dalyria being a creepy lil vamp and not breathing in the corner, terrified but mustering the courage to speak up before the sun burns her to cinders, and scaring Tav so thoroughly she whacks herself on the desk? Love it. Tav's so... unsettling and brutal in this fic, though I imagine it feels a bit softened from her perspective. It's the only bit of levity between them but also neatly encapsulates how unimportant Dalyria is to her.

“Because I knew who I was!” Dalyria shrieked. Her eyes were glassy, her breathing ragged, but the dam had burst—Tav released the Command entirely, but she kept talking, confessions pouring forth like a waterfall in the crypt-like stillness of her home. “I knew what to expect, what was expected of me—I had a routine, brothers, sisters—they’d hurt me but they couldn’t kill me, no one could, the master would not allow it—all I had to do was to be nothing, and pray that one day I could be myself, but I can’t be myself anymore—because—it was all a fantasy, a lie, I’m no longer the Doctor Dalyria—I’m not anything, I’m no longer a part of anything—”

ok that is NOT a sentence but I love it and want to talk about it 😂 I really wanted to capture the feeling of hysterical crying through Dalyria, and I think this dialogue neatly conveys that. It's incoherent but all the points are there, conveying all that she's feeling and what it ties back to. There's also a mention of the "crypt-like stillness of her home," i.e. Tav's tower, which is a seemingly cozy place, but not. I've been feeling very gothic horror about it - it's meant to look cozy and homey, but it's also very cold and misshapen. The whole place is freezing cold and the wind howls through the cracks, phantom noises everywhere, and with only Tav and Astarion around, both whom are working on solitary activities, it's usually completely silent and crypt-like. It's like if a gothic castle and a wizard's tower had an ugly baby, but something went wrong midway through, which really is what's happened to Tav and Astarion's relationship here, even if it's (on the surface) "functional." Yeah, Astarion has things now - he picked the furniture, the art, the sheets etc - he gets an office, but it's in the living room, while Tav has 2-3 dedicated workspaces. Szarr mansion vibes, middle-class edition. There's a lot of little nuggets like that if you pay attention.

🎶 do you write with music? does the music you’re listening to influence your writing?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no! I do have a writing playlist (dropping the link here 👀) but I also do a lot of writing super late at night and forget to put my headphones on, so it's completely silent. Most commonly though, I tend to put on let's plays of horror games. I re-watch Markiplier's "At Dead of Night" playthrough a lot haha! So I guess, yeah, most of the things I want to write have a lot of tension and some horror to them, and horror let's plays or obsessive music helps with that. If I do listen to music, it's usually the same song on repeat for hours.

⛔️ whats something you try to avoid in your work?

Classic m/f cisgender heteronormativity/gender roles

Ok I do realize the irony of that statement. I guess I'm trying to avoid classic romantic tropes: male domination, male "predator"/female "prey", "good" female protagonist who's always right/moral/ethical, female aversion/inexperience with sex, stuff like that. I wrangle with myself every time I make Tav cry or act over-the-top emotional except in her case, it's usually in anger, and tbh as someone who has that "I'm utterly furious but my body has decided crying makes me look more sympathetic and therefor you won't kill me"-gene, I think it's interesting to play with. And tbh I make Astarion cry too so it balances out 😅

Although Tav seduces Astarion, he's the one doing a lot of the emotional labor that keeps them together, and that's the sort of anti-heteronormativity I like. I do admit though, when he hugged her a few chapters ago to calm her down, that got me in the feels a little. We can have a little classic romance as a treat.

🦉 give yourself a piece of writing advice

🙏 my brother in christ please stop with the semi-colon and regular colon abuse. Put the em-dashes down. Short sentences are valid. TAKE A BREATH

Also - repeats. It's the first thing I have to edit every time. I write an unusual word in one sentence and then repeat it in the next, or rephrase the exact thing I just wrote. I'm even conscious of it nowadays but it still keeps happening!

[lonesomedreamer]

SNW Liveblog: Episodes 6 & 7

“Lift Us Where Suffering Cannot Reach”

I do get the concept of having an interning cadet performing various duties across all divisions…I just highly doubt that said cadets would ever be entrusted with the ship’s phaser banks—for obvious reasons!

Now this look is what I’m talking about. Yeah, it’s tacky and cheap-looking, but it’s also geometric, iridescent, eye-catching…retrofuturism, baby!

“This is my Number One.” Is Pike allergic to the term “first officer”?

At least part of my question about M’Benga’s daughter was answered! She does know that her father is keeping her in the medical transporter.

Somehow, I doubt that this alien child with a genius-level IQ would say “Deal!”

Christine being good with kids is still canon. <3

Ah, yes, the condescending “our technology is so vastly superior to yours that you wouldn’t understand it” aliens.

52,000 times the speed of light? “Wow, that’s super slow.” Annoying!

Spock’s interaction with this kid is really cute, though.

“[My phaser’s] not on stun.” It should be! Jesus, Pike!!!

Oh, look: Sam Kirk, who might have been dead for the last three full episodes, appears out of nowhere! And no one’s even going to acknowledge that he’s been MIA for an undisclosed period of time.

I know a lot of people love Anson Mount’s Pike and find him to be the ideal Starfleet captain—but imo, he lacks both Kirk’s warmth and charisma and Picard’s eloquence and discipline. Though he’s had his moments, neither his lines nor the way he delivers them are doing anything for me. It usually seems like he’s doing just that: reading lines.

“Here, on Enterprise.” It’s THE Enterprise, dammit.

Pike finally expressing some genuine emotion is refreshing.

This plot twist is horrific and reminds me of Stephen King’s The Tommyknockers, in which aliens also use living beings as “batteries”.

Even acknowledging my deep bias in favor of previous installments, I feel like both Kirk and Picard would have caught on sooner and/or done more in an effort to save that little boy—done anything they could, in fact! Pike just struggles a little, then goes back to his cabin for a shot of liquor. I also don’t think Kirk or Picard would’ve listened to such empty excuses about how well, Federation children suffer, too! Because frankly, fuck that noise.

This episode did feel very Trek, like you could swap out the SNW cast with, say, the TNG cast (though imo, the outcome would have been different…or at least, the crew’s involvement would have differed). I’ve seen a few people suggest that this is a “needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” situation, or call the scenario a “moral dilemma,” and I disagree in both cases, especially considering the technology and general knowledge of the featured alien society is shown to be wildly more advanced than that of the Federation. There’s no conceivable reason they should remain on a hostile planet on which their mere existence depends on a never-ending cycle of child torture. Are we meant to think that the “voluntary” disintegration chambers are ethical in “A Taste of Armageddon” just because humans are capable of killing, too? No! (That said, the episode does raise an interesting question about consent: obviously, the First Servant cannot consent to becoming a power source…so can M’Benga’s daughter consent to being kept in stasis in the medical transporter?)

The Good: Some good costumes—authentic Trek vibes—actually visiting an alien planet—M’Benga’s daughter.

The Bad: Holier-than-thou aliens who condescend and use whataboutism arguments—a lot of this episode is just illogical in many ways—the false moral dilemma/dichotomy.

“The Serene Squall”

Whyyyy is T’Pring back already, and why does she have a personal log that’s being used as narration to open an episode? Who’s asking for more T’Pring??

“I have been doing research on human sex.” Spock and I are on the same wavelength here.

Fortunately, the real power couple appears in the very next scene!

Christine, like me, is thinking: I really don’t want to talk about your girlfriend, Spock.

“I need a friend.” :( Hailing Kirk and McCoy—come to the rescue of this sad Vulcan boy!

This is another very cute Spockstine heart-to-heart…but the cringe dialogue strikes again: “Pro tip!” SNW is going to seem so dated a decade from now. It’s sad.

Starfleet calls Pike “their Boy Scout”? In his official file? That’s…weird—and it’s ripped off from Carol Marcus’ (deragatory) nickname for Kirk. It’s also going to be awkward when Kirk, who’s younger than Spock, takes over the Enterprise in the not-so-distant future. (I guess in theory it’s going to be ~8-10 years in the future, but since I know that a) they introduce Kirk in this series, and b) he’s probably not going to be 22 in-universe, I somehow doubt that he’ll be waiting in the wings to take over for years.

“It looks like a net…except, you know, made of lasers.” Once again, I am asking: who tf okayed this script? It’s so BAD.

What’s “playing fast-and-loose with the rules” about the captain leading a landing party? Pike’s done so multiple times already on this show, without taking the many times Kirk did it into account, of course—it’s only in the twenty-fourth century that it becomes frowned upon/against regulations (probably because of what happened in the twenty-third, lol).

Ahhh, I do love this—very close to the look of TOS!

Spock and Aspen got in the turbolift from the Bridge, went to another deck, and then run into…the Bridge crew being led into the corridor as prisoners??? Make it make sense.

Lmfao of course Aspen was married to a Vulcan, which at this time is so rare that surely Spock—the son of a human woman who’s also married to a Vulcan man—would already know about it, at least in passing, especially since Aspen is ex-Starfleet?

I see. She was lying…which Spock should probably have figured out based on her claim to be married to a Vulcan.

Unfortunately she’s not a better actress as “Angel.” Now she’s just really over-the-top.

“One of Vulcan’s favorite sons” Despite Sarek’s social rank, I really doubt that’s true of Spock yet. He’s also definitely not T’Pring’s “one true love” lol.

But that’s the thing: T’Pring doesn’t love Spock. We all know that! (Someone on this Bridge does love him, though!)

Angel’s threats to kill Spock are empty, because we, as the audience, know that there’s absolutely NO chance of him dying.

THIS is the context of their first kiss?? A fake-out?!? After 57 years, I guess I’ll take what I can get, but it’s still disappointing.

Christine hasn’t even had much of a chance to flirt with or pine for Spock. I’m only watching SNW for this ship, so I can’t believe I’m complaining, but where’s the build-up? The not-so-slow burn? It’s just bad writing. So, the norm for this show.

It is a great kiss, though.

And then T’Pring says she knew it was a ruse all along, and they just…get back together? Like nothing happened? When Spock and Christine’s mutual attraction is obvious (despite that I said about build-up)??? Thanks, I hate it.

“I know for certain there’s no feelings between us.” Except there clearly are, and this line is a total betrayal of Christine’s character. Again. She was always more than a lovelorn nurse, but she did always love Spock, from “The Naked Time” on, unashamedly! So for this Christine to say that she “knows” there are no feelings between herself and Spock after they made out in public, regardless of the reason…sure, fine, whatever!

Stonn is in the credits. He must be the guy T’Pring is with at the very end of the episode, I guess? And if so, hopefully that mean she’ll disappear from Spock’s storyline to carry on her own “affair” soon…?! (Not holding my breath.)

I have yet to watch any movie after Search for Spock, so I’m stuffing my fingers in my ears re: anything to do with Sybok. I’ve somehow avoided spoilers for 3+ years, so don’t need to be influenced by a bunch of retconning before I’m even properly introduced to the dude in canon.

So you can probably tell that I didn’t care about the pirate plotline at all. Was it good? Was it memorable? Was it at least funny? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m just here for the Spockstine, y’all. But I did notice Uhura wasn’t in this episode…which, tbh, is fine since she’d probably be wasted by the writers.

The Good: So much Spock/Christine interaction, especially that kiss! T’Pring breaking up with Spock. The writers remembering that Orions exist.

The Bad: Cringe dialogue—Aspen/Angel’s acting—the kiss being a fake-out—T’Pring immediately re-bonding with Spock.

[lgbtqlegends]

I adore every angsty thing you write, so I come to you with this request:

Headcanons for if Bishop had brainwashed Sara and made her either forget the other Legends or just turn against them? Bonus points for the aftermath after she’s back to normal.

aww thanks!! i'm glad you enjoy all the angst i write!! thanks for the ask n hope you enjoy! (ps sorry it took a while to answer)

also okay so like,, I'm not sure if you wanted these headcanons to be like,, "sara was returned to the ship already brainwashed & clearly turned against the other legends" But,,, reading this prompt has sparked,, a bit of a different, more angsty idea (still the same premise, just a bit of a twist on the when). and, well, i'm sucker for angst so,,

-okay so like. bishop altered her when he cloned her. we Know this. he spliced her DNA with an alien's DNA, obviously, but like. also. we know he has the capability (and no moral or ethical objections at all) to alter other stuff, ie he altered his own pain receptors. so like, it begs the question: what else could he have changed? what else could he have altered that sara didn't notice?

-like, okay, let's be real, bishop would have absolutely No qualms about coding sara's brain to make her turn against the legends at any given moment. and sara would have no idea. like,, he could've coded her brain to make her turn on the legends at the snap of his fingers. he clearly has no moral objection to doing so, and with the way the whole thing has been thus far explained, it sounds like a plausible thing that he couldve done

-so, anyway, onto the rest of the headcanons, assuming that this would be the reality: bishop altered sara's brain and 'coded' it to make it so that he could make her turn against the legends at any given moment

-he lures her into a false sense of security, gives her time to start thinking/believing that the only thing he changed was the alien DNA. he lets her get comfortable, being back with her team and especially being back with ava

-he does it in a moment where everyone would least expect it, in a moment where they're all together, hanging out, and all their guards are down for the time being (because. y'know. Of Course he would choose a moment like that)

-it's like,,, they're all having a family dinner or like,,, having a team movie night or smth. one moment sara is laughing and smiling with her team, thinking about how much she loves this and how there's nowhere else she'd rather be, and then the next minute the switch has flipped and she's been turned against her team, and suddenly she's attacking everyone with like,,, full force, not holding back bc why would she if her brain's been turned against them (think like,,, okay so i'm pretty sure it was divergent that i remember this from: without like,, getting into the specifics of divergent, basically sara's brain, i guess, would be altered so that instead of seeing the legends as friends they become the enemies. i mean like,,, obviously,, but i mean like,, okay idk where i'm going with this whole divergent thing but-)

-so anyway, she starts pretty much full-on attacking them out of seemingly nowhere, and no one knows what the hell is going on, but they know this is Definitely Not sara (like,, okay the Know it's Sara but they know it's not necessarily like,,, her,,, in control)

-the more,,, observant,,, legends noticed a split-second before she started attacking that something in her changed, first by the look in her eyes, and then immediately after how she went from laughing and smiling with the rest of the team to just,,, like,, nothing at all, and a second after that is when she started attacking

-now like,,, anyone on the ship who was there during the whole death totem thing would know like,,, sara when she's not in her own head and not in control of her body,,, is Very dangerous and could be very lethal if they're not careful, so,,, they mostly take an,,, avoid and tactical retreat type of strategy rather than like,,, offensive/defensive type thing (because they know how that turned out last time and they know that they'd most likely lose)

-none of them really know what to do because none of them are really sure if this is something that can be fixed, they don't know if there's any way that they can get sara back to normal,,, and that Hurts them, because they all love her and they really don't wanna think about what would happen if this couldnt be reversed (and also like,,, the fact that they would have just somewhat-recently gotten her back from outer space it's just like,,, it's a lot)

-eventually (and it was,,, Not easy) they get her to the brig or w/e it's called now (i think ava's called it a dais?? idk lmao) and they get her inside and like,,, trap her in there until they can figure out how to get her back. they probably also maybe like,,, take extra precautions and like,,, chain her up or smth (bc like,,, they'd still have to let the barrier down to give her food n stuff so,,,)

-since she's chained up n can't exactly do much, ava decides to go in there one day, "just to see, because we've tried everything we can think of so far and there has to be a way to get her back, there Has to be, and she's strong, alright, and maybe if she just,,, Feels me, maybe she'll come back to us. i have to Try"

-so she does. she lets down the barrier, steps inside, puts it back up. the rest of the legends are in the room for back up (just in case), and they watch as ava steps up to sara, who's struggling against the chains, trying to break free. ava puts a hand against sara's chest, right over her heart, and then leans her forehead against sara's, and she talks softly to her, saying whatever she can think of that might get sara to come back, to Remember

-sara struggles against her at first because she's still brainwashed, but sara is nothing if not strong and stubborn and persistent, so of course she ends up fighting through and remembering who she is and who the legends are

-she's confused for only a moment before she remembers and looks around at her team, and then she loathes herself with every fiber of her being, and she kinda just,,, loses all the fight that she has in her for that moment and just kinda,,, falls so that the chains are the only thing holding her up

-ava undoes the chains and then pulls sara into her arms so she doesn't fall completely. sara tries to push her away because she doesn't think she deserves this and also she's Terrified that she'll end up hurting ava anyway, even though she's back to herself. ava just holds her tighter though and they kinda both slowly sink to the ground

-the rest of the legends let the barrier down and kinda like,,, step closer to her

-normally sara would Hate anyone but ava seeing her this vulnerable but this isn't really a "normal" situation and also she's like,,, a little too wrapped up in self-hatred to be able to make sense of much, so the rest of the team kinda just like,,, piles in n surrounds her in a group hug to like,,, try to get through to her and show her that they all still love her

-it kinda works for a little bit and sara just like,,, lets herself sit there and break down surrounded by her team, but as soon as the night comes and she's laying in bed with ava all the self-loathing comes back again full force. at some point she manages to fall asleep, but not for that long bc she wakes up from a nightmare soon after

-she kinda just,,, shuts herself down for a while and like,,, isolates herself/pushes everyone away as much as she can

-the legends know it's a lot for her to deal with and they can't imagine the guilt and self-hatred she must be feeling (bc they know sara is Like That) but they still like,,, wish that they could get her to see that itll be okay

-it gets so bad one night that none of them get any sleep because they're all really worried about sara (and also because sara is in the gym, working herself out to the point of exhaustion and collapse and,, well,, she's not being very quiet about it)

-so they all end up in the gym with her that night, watching her break Another punching bag. and because nothing seems to be working, she grabs one of her throwing knives and throws it back into the wall farthest from her (nowhere near where the legends are standing) and then she kinda just,,, sits down,,, doesn't do anything else or say anything else, just sits down n puts her head in her hands n her shoulders start shaking

-one by one the legends all go n sit down with her and they get into as much of a group hug as they possibly can. its then that they finally get through to sara, even just a little bit, and nothing's really like,,, okay,,, because sara's still very much Not Okay about the whole thing but like,,, they all have a feeling that like,,, maybe,,, maybe itll start to get better from there on out

[bratdesire]

Your Dad, My Daddy

Pairing: Ukai Keishin x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ smut, age gap, older man/younger woman, barely legal, squirting, rough sex, daddy kink, alcohol mention, questionable ethics, d/s dynamics, overstimulation, degrading language, touch of subspace, unprotected sex, breeding kink, slight dubcon if you squint but it’s all consensual, Ukai’s dick is pierced, exhibitionism(?)

Genre: Smut, just so much smut

Word count: 9.4k

Author’s note: Here is my contribution to the new HQHQ collab!! You can find the masterlist right here! Big big thank you to @sempiternal-amour and @inaflashimagine​ for beta-ing this monster fic, ilysm <3 This is so incredibly self-indulgent, I even inserted my nickname ~for spice~. Anyways, enjoy my incoherent screaming uwu

Summary: When you go over to your friend’s house for a study session you don’t anticipate meeting her very attractive father, and you surely don’t anticipate the very same man fucking you over their couch.

“Hey, I apologize in advance for anything weird my dad says or does. You know how dads are,” Hitomi explains as she pulls into the driveway of her house. 

It’s small but nice and well-manicured, situated in the cul de sac of a middle-class suburb.

“Dad, we’re here,” she shouts up the stairs, setting her keys on the small table next to the front door. Hitomi’s gaze drifts to the tall, dark haired man sitting at the kitchen table and your own gaze soon follows. “Oh, there you are.”

She quickly pecks the man on his cheek before walking over to the shiny silver fridge, pulling out a couple bottles of water. “Dad, this is Bunny, Bunny this is Dad,” she gestures between the two of you. 

When her father glances up from his phone to give you a nod of acknowledgement, you’re taken aback by how handsome he is. 

You can tell from the slight wrinkles around his lips and the crinkles by his eyes that he’s definitely a much older man, but other than that he’s flawless. The angle of his jaw is sharp but soft, lower face darkened by his five o’clock shadow. His chocolate brown eyes are complemented by plump, pink lips that would look even better swollen and shiny with saliva. Dark, shiny locks are gathered into a low ponytail and you wonder how they would feel fisted in your fingers. He’s gorgeous in a rugged, mature way that boys your age aren’t and could never hope to be. 

Hitomi never told you her dad was hot but then again, why would she? 

“Mr. Ukai, it’s nice to meet you,” you greet him.

He waves his hand in the air dismissively, “Ah, you can just call me Keishin. No need to be so formal.”

Hitomi mutters a frustrated “shit” under her breath and it takes you a few moments to tear your eyes away from the man in front of you. 

“I left my textbook in the car, I have to go grab it,” she sighs then turns to her dad. “You, don’t scare off my friend, please.” 

Keishin puts a hand on his heart, a falsely serious expression on his face. “I won’t, scout’s honor.”

She just rolls her eyes, exiting the kitchen the same way you entered. The front door slams shut, leaving you alone with your friend’s very hot dad.

Keishin looks up at you then quickly looks away, unsure how to interact with his daughter’s friends. “So is, uh, Bunny your real name?” he asks, nervously rubbing the back of his head.

Leaning against the table he’s seated at, you fold your arms across your chest, fully aware of how low cut your top is. You don’t miss the way his eyes briefly flicker down to your cleavage then back up to your face. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” you challenge, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I… I’m just trying to make conversation,” he laughs nervously.

“Hm, well, the short answer is no. You’ll have to get to know me a bit better before I give you the long answer.” 

He snorts, pushing his chair back and rising to his full height. “What gave you the confidence to speak like this to your elders?”

Taking a step towards him, you twirl a piece of hair around your finger and shyly peer up at him through your lashes. “I don’t know, but maybe you can teach me how to behave.”

A light blush colors his cheeks and his eyes widen with surprise. “I-I don’t know what you’re implying, but it’s not... appropriate,” he stutters, taking a step backwards to try to put some distance between you.

You sidle up to him, reaching out a hand to caress his well-muscled arm. When he makes no move to stop your petting, you bite your lip and get on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “Who said we had to be appropriate?” 

His mouth is slightly agape, lips moving every so often, as if he wants to say something but doesn’t. “I—” he starts.

The sound of the front door slamming open makes you both jump apart, trying to appear as casual as possible. 

“I got it! We can go study now,” Hitomi proclaims, waving the book around in her hands. She glances at you, then at her father and notices the way you’re completely turned away from each other. “Oh my God, Dad, what did you do?” she groans.

He holds up both hands in surrender, shaking his head emphatically. “I didn’t do anything! Why do you always think I did something?”

Your friend strides over to lightly punch his shoulder, a disapproving but loving expression on her face. “Because you’re weird and lame. Besides, between you and Bunny, I’m always going to assume that you’re the guilty party.”

You find yourself chuckling at their banter, touched by how close they are. It’s evident that Hitomi and Keishin care a lot about each other, regardless of how much they tease each other and guilt twists in your gut when you remind yourself that you were flirting with him. She likely wouldn’t forgive you for trying to sleep with her dad and it would cause a great deal of damage to their relationship, possibly beyond repair if she knew he was into girls her age. To make matters worse, you’re two years her junior. What man would sleep with a girl younger than his daughter?

But your morals are tossed right out the window when you take in the sight of Keishin’s radiant smile—all straight, white teeth and eyes that shine like pools of dark honey. It’s in that moment that you decide you’re going to seduce that man if it’s the last thing you do.

Sorry, Hitomi. Kind of.

---

“Okay, so L-Tyrosine is one of the twenty amino acids used by the body to synthesize proteins. It is also an aromatic amino acid derived from phenylalanine by hydroxylation in the para position—oof!” Hitomi’s droning is cut off by the pillow you send hurtling towards her head.

You sit up on her bed, squealing obnoxiously as you stretch. “Hitomi, I love you, but please shut up. My brain is melting. We’ve been at this for three hours now, can we take a break?”

She closes the textbook in her lap and pushes it to the edge of her desk. “Fine, fine. We can take a twenty minute break, but we have to go right back to studying because finals are this week and I cannot afford to fail,” your friend warns, despite how she whips out her phone at lightning speed.

Picking at a stray thread on the comforter, you gently try to get her attention, “Hey, Tomi?”

“Hm?” she responds, barely glancing up from the video she’s watching.

You’re not sure how to broach the subject, but you’ve never been one to beat around the bush so you just come right out and say it. “Has anyone told you your dad’s kinda hot?”

That makes her stop, her head jerking up from her phone at lightning speed. “What!? That old geezer?” She sounds dumbfounded, incredulous at the prospect that someone would be interested in her father.

“Yeah girl, he’s a total DILF,” you confess, making a little fanning motion with your hand like you’re burning up inside just thinking about him, and it’s not that far from the truth.

Hitomi makes no effort to hide her feelings, disgust clearly evident in her delicate features. “Ew! You have to be joking. Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not joking! He’s really sexy,” you muse dreamily.

She claps both hands over her ears, yelling at the top of her lungs to drown you out. “I never want to hear you say that my old man is ‘sexy’ ever again!”

You childishly stick your tongue out at her. “Hey! I’m just speaking the truth. You have to have had friends say the same thing.”

Removing her hands from her ears, she brings one up to stroke her chin, seemingly deep in thought. “Now that I think about it, back in high school my friends were a lot more enthusiastic about coming over once they met my father.”

You feel vindicated by her personal testimony, even if she thinks you’re gross. “See? I’m not the only one who finds your dad ridiculously attractive.”

Hitomi gags dramatically as if she’s going to puke and judging by the look on her face, she just might. “Please, no more, I’m begging you.” 

“Fine, fine I’ll stop, but don’t act surprised when I become your new stepmom,” you tease, wiggling your eyebrows at her.

“You’re younger than me, don’t even joke about that,” she shudders in horror. “Okay, with that we need to get back to studying amino acids and proteins.”

“Whatever you say, future stepdaughter.” You muster your best motherly voice, sickeningly sweet and a touch passive aggressive.

This time, it’s Hitomi’s turn to throw a pillow at you.

---

Since the day you met Keishin, you haven’t been able to get him off your mind. Even when you’re in class trying to learn about the sodium-potassium pump, you find your thoughts drifting to his hands, his lips, him. He’s simply become too distracting to ignore.

More times than you care to admit, you’ve fucked yourself with your fingers to thoughts of how his fingers would feel pumping inside you. You fantasize about how his hand would feel around your neck, squeezing with just enough pressure to make your vision hazy. His name is always on the tip of your tongue when you orgasm and when you finally let yourself moan out ‘Keishin,’ you know enough is enough. A man his age has to know exactly how to make a woman scream and writhe in pleasure, but you need to experience it for yourself or you’ll die trying.

You’re not oblivious to the way he looks at you with hunger and longing in his eyes, you know he wants you too and you’re not above using dirty tricks to show him just how much you want him. 

If he’s too proud, too noble to give in to his urges, you’ll just have to break him. His resolve may be strong, but yours is stronger.

Your efforts begin innocently enough, gently probing him for more information about himself so you can get to know him better.

“I’ve noticed you don’t wear a ring. Is there a Mrs. Ukai in the picture?” you ask innocently.

Keishin clears his throat a bit too loudly, refusing to meet your questioning gaze. “Nah. It’s just me and Tomi, always has been.”

“Any… future Mrs. Ukai in the picture?”

The corners of his lips twitch slightly, the barest of smiles tugging at his handsome features. “Can’t say there is. Between the store and coaching volleyball, I don’t really have the time to date.”

You nod and make a noise of acknowledgement, relieved by the confirmation that he is in fact very, very single. You’re a lot of things, but you’re not a homewrecker.

On another occasion, you’re seated on their plush leather couch and Keishin’s in the well-worn La-Z-Boy recliner to your left. You’re watching some Adam Sandler movie on Netflix, but it’s paused while Hitomi is in the bathroom.

You take your alone time together as an opportunity to question him more, toeing the line of what would be considered proper. “So, Keishin, how old are you? I know Tomi’s twenty-one so you must be…” you trail off, hoping he’ll humor you.

He takes a swig of the beer in his hand and your eyes instinctively flicker down to watch the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “Old.”

You roll your eyes and prop your chin up on your hand, readjusting your position on the couch so you’re leaning closer to him. “Obviously, but just how old?”

“Why do you want to know so badly?” he asks, head tilted and a well-groomed eyebrow lifted questioningly.

“I was just wondering if you’re older than my dad,” you tease. 

His shoulders shake slightly as he chuckles, amusement dancing in his eyes. “I’m forty-four. Do I have him beat?”

“He’s forty-two, so just barely.” Your steady, unwavering eyes lock onto his own, which are glassy and unfocused from the alcohol. When he brings the bottle to his lips once more, you nonchalantly add, “Maybe I should call you Daddy instead.”

Keishin coughs and sputters in surprise, causing him to choke on his beverage and a spray of sticky beer splatters across your face. 

Apologies tumble out of his mouth as soon as he realizes that your cheeks and hair are dripping with the craft IPA he was drinking. “I-I’m so sorry! I’ll get you a towel,” he blurts, shooting up from his chair. 

In his panic and embarrassment, he rushes toward the linen closet and you can’t help the giggles that escape your mouth at how uncoordinated he is, now several drinks in. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s not that big of a deal,” you reassure him, wiping your face with the back of your hand for emphasis.

He returns from the rummaging around the hall closet, a dark blue towel in his hand, which he offers to you with a nod of his head.

No matter your protests and assurances that you’re fine, Keishin is even more insistent in offering you the towel to clean yourself up. When you refuse to take the towel from him, he kneels down next to you and leans in to dab at the foamy liquid that has soaked into your hair. 

Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel his fingers on your jaw and you almost squeak at his close proximity. He hasn’t let you near him since your first encounter and now he’s right in front of you, so close that his breath curls around your cheeks, smelling of malted hops and the slightest hint of peppermint. You can map out the slight freckles on the bridge of his nose and each long, curled eyelash that brushes his cheeks each time he blinks.

He’s truly a beautiful man, all sharp angles and rough stubble and you can feel your cheeks warm when you realize that he’s right there. If you leaned forward just a little bit more, your noses would brush against each other. 

A deep, rumbling voice interrupts your daydreaming. “Kid, are you even listening to me?”

You blink a couple times, coming to the realization that he’s been trying to talk to you for the last few minutes, but you were too busy admiring his beauty.

Keishin shakes his head as he leans back on his heels, using one hand to rub his face wearily. “As I was saying, you can’t just… say things like that. I know young girls sometimes have fantasies about older men like me, but I’m telling you now that it’ll only end badly,” he sighs. “I’m not a righteous man, I have my vices. God, do I have lots of them, and I don’t need another one.”

He mumbles the last sentence, barely loud enough for you to hear, despite how close you are.

Another one? Is he admitting that the attraction is mutual? You have to know, you just have to. Your body practically aches from how badly you want him.

“Keishin, I—” you start, reaching out to touch his arm, but he stands abruptly and quickly turns to shuffle away from the couch.

“This just isn’t a good idea, kid. Just forget about me, alright?” he says, his back to you. A tinge of regret and hesitation seeps into his words, as if he wants to take back everything he’s said.

After the beer incident, the man is even less receptive than he was before, making every effort to avoid being alone with you.

Even still, you’re not discouraged because he never outright rejected you. If he had, you would’ve stopped your pursuit weeks ago, but he only seems to be trying to maintain his composure as a righteous man.

Righteous men are wolves in sheep’s clothing, always putting on a facade so they can claim plausible deniability when they’re caught with their pants around their ankles. But no matter how honorable or virtuous a man tries to be, none of them can resist a wet, willing pussy laid out in front of them and Keishin is no exception.

That’s why you’ve shown up to their house the last few weeks in skirts far too short to be considered decent, flashing little peeks of your underwear each time you move too much or bend over too far. Each time you bend over to grab a pencil or a piece of paper off the floor, Keishin is always conveniently positioned behind you so he gets an eyeful of your pretty lace panties and the little dark spot where your wetness has soaked through the fabric. 

After you retrieve your item from the ground, you look over your shoulder to make direct eye contact with him and say ‘oops,’ without a hint of regret in your voice. You revel in the clenching of his jaw and the way he exhales loud and heavy through his nose, frustration mounting each time you try to provoke him.

When your ass and clothed pussy are on display for him, you make sure to wiggle your hips a bit, an open invitation to fuck you the way you both want to. It never fails to elicit some sort of reaction from the older man, ranging from a few groans and a choked cough, to making a very hasty exit, a book or some other object held over the front of his jeans. 

Without fail, Hitomi expresses her concern each time her father storms out of the room, red-faced and breathing heavily. He just waves her off, telling her he’s not feeling well, but you know the truth. He’s painfully hard, painfully hard from you, even if he doesn’t admit it.

Truthfully, if you weren’t trying to get him to fuck you so hard you can’t walk you would applaud his self-control and restraint. Even after weeks of teasing and provocation, the man refuses to give in to his desires.

That’s okay. If he’s not going to come to you, you’ll just have to take matters into your own hands.

----

It all reaches a tipping point when you’re unable to go home for winter break and Hitomi offers you their guest room to stay in for a few weeks. 

Apparently she never asked her father for permission, if Keishin’s shocked, slightly panicked face when you walked through the door with your suitcase was any indication. When he tried to question Hitomi about whether or not it’s such a good idea for you to stay, she wasn’t having any of it and told him that you’re a friend in need. 

Hitomi’s so sweet and caring that you feel a twinge of guilt for plotting to seduce her father in her house when she’s none the wiser. She just wanted to lend a helping hand by letting you stay with them, oblivious to your true plans, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Now that you’re under the same roof, all you really want to do is ambush Keishin as soon as possible, but you have to plan around Hitomi’s schedule so you have bide your time. What’s the saying? Good things come to those who wait?

And wait you do. You wait for two whole weeks, in fact. But then the stars align so perfectly that some otherworldly force must be looking out for you.

Hitomi is gone to work and won’t be back until the middle of the night when her shift is over, while Keishin is home reviewing footage from his team’s latest game. 

He told you he does this right before a big game so he can tell his players what they need to improve on and get in that last bit of refinement before the day of. When he clued you in on his strategy you just nodded and hummed, not really listening, mostly focused on ogling his muscles through his thin t-shirt.

Your nerves have been buzzing since you woke up this morning, sensing the heaviness in the air. You’re wearing your prettiest lace panties and its matching bra and frankly, you’re feeling pretty damn confident. You look good and you know you look good. If you were trying to seduce any guy your age, they’d drop their pants as soon as they got a little glimpse of your underwear, but Keishin’s not any guy your age. He needs a little convincing, a little push in the right direction, and you’ll be the one to help him.

You’ve flitted around the house all day, just trying to find the right moment to pounce. 

Currently, Keishin is sitting in the living room watching the recording on the big flat screen in the living room. He looks preoccupied with taking notes on the notepad in his lap, but it’s now or never, you suppose.

Before you try to talk yourself out of it, you stride over to where he’s sitting and put your hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey. Did you need something? I’m kind of busy analyzing my team’s last game.”

Not wanting to lose your nerve, you wordlessly swing one leg over his, then the other, planting yourself firmly in his lap. His entire body goes ramrod stiff, hands jerking away from your body as if you’ve burned him.

“W-what do you think you’re doing?” he stutters, alarm evident in his voice.

When he makes no move to throw you off his lap, you wrap your arms around his neck and lean into him, pressing your chest to his. 

“What we both have been wanting to do since the day I met you,” you purr, lips barely brushing against the shell of his ear. He shivers when you gently nibble on his earlobe and your confidence only grows as you discover that he wants this just as much as you do.

“I d-don’t know what you’re talking about. This isn't right. I’m your friend’s father and I’m... old enough to be y-yours,” he mutters, running a hand through his already messy hair, conflicted with how to proceed.

You can’t tell whether he’s trying to convince you or himself, so you decide to give him a little encouragement.

Leaning back slightly, you run your hands down his chest and bite your lip. “Are we going to keep playing games or are you gonna fuck me? Because if not, I’ve got several guys back at college who—”

You’re cut off when Keishin’s hand wraps around your throat, the other braced against your back to pull you flush against him. 

“You think your little stunts are cute, don’t you?” he growls, his minty breath washing over your face.

“What, you don’t think so, Daddy?” you pout, batting your eyelashes at him innocently.

His eyes flash with something hot and primal and you can feel the gush of wetness between your thighs. “I’m getting a little tired of them,” he growls.

“This,” you palm at the bulge straining against his pants, “Tells me otherwise, you know.”

The hand around your throat tightens, cutting off whatever bratty remark you were about to make. “I’ve had enough of you prancing around my home in tiny skirts and flashing me your panties when my daughter is around. It’s unbecoming.”

“Then t-teach me a lesson,” you gasp, struggling to speak with Keishin’s fingers so firmly wrapped around your throat.

The way he grins is downright sinful and it stokes the fire already raging inside you. “Careful what you wish for, little girl.”

With some manhandling on Keishin’s part, you’re shoved toward the couch then pulled back onto his lap, but this time you’re on your stomach and both your wrists are pinned behind your back.

“Before we go any further,” he starts, trailing his fingers down your spine and leaving goosebumps in their wake. “I have to ask… How old are you?”

You twist around to look him in the eyes, a defiant smirk on your face. “Old enough.” Your mischievous giggle is cut off by a swift, firm slap to your ass.

“Watch the lip, brat. I need a little more reassurance than that.”

“Since you’re just so concerned, I’m nineteen. Perfectly legal and more importantly, legally fuckable,” you say, punctuated by an enticing wiggle of your hips.

“Jesus, you’re two years younger than Tomi. What am I doing?” He seems lost in thought as the honorable side of him fights a losing battle against his baser, carnal instincts. Whatever reservations he has are thrown aside when you start to wiggle in his grasp, maneuvering yourself over his crotch to grind yourself against his hardness.

Keishin gathers your hair around his fist, harshly jerking your head so far backwards that your spine aches from the unnatural angle.

“Stop fucking squirming. You just don’t know how to behave, do you?” It’s phrased like a question, but he shoves two of his fingers in your mouth so you can’t respond. 

You knew Keishin would be the perfect dom, but the ease with which he settles into the role makes your head spin and your insides throb. Latching onto his digits, you lick and suck like the good girl you are, coating them in saliva as he hums in appreciation.

“Foo wans tuh behav wen thith is wutt I ge fo bein ba?” you ask, garbled and muffled by the fingers massaging the back of your tongue. 

A series of harder, heavier spanks make you squeal and squirm even more in his lap. He gently rubs his hand over your warm, stinging flesh as he speaks. “Such a troublemaker. Just what am I going to do with you, hm?” He tries to sound admonishing, but you can tell he’s smiling behind his words.

His hand leaves your ass, no doubt raised to spank you again, but before he can, you bite down on his fingers. Not too hard, just enough for him to jerk them out of your mouth. “You can do whatever you want to me, Daddy.” 

You jolt when his thumb rubs against your pussy through your panties. They’re soaked with your slick, the material clinging to your skin uncomfortably. The barest touch has you gasping and pushing your hips back for more. You’re so sensitive from the teasing and you’re so turned on you just might pass out if you’re not filled up soon.

Keishin just laughs darkly at the pathetic humping of your hips and you can feel the rumbling in his chest. “This is what I love about girls your age. So sensitive…” He pulls your panties aside and gently eases a finger inside you, then another as you moan and shake in his lap. “And so reactive. I bet you’d cum just from me putting my cock inside this tight, wet cunt, wouldn’t you?”

He speaks with a hint of condescension that has you clenching around his digits, coating them in sticky, syrupy strands of your arousal as they pump in and out of you. You’d almost be embarrassed at how worked up you are if you had more self respect, but you don’t. All you can focus on is the way his fingertips curl into the little spongy spot inside you that makes you whine.

“Why don’t you try it and find out?” The challenge in your voice is severely dampened by how breathless and wrecked you are even though you haven’t really even done anything.

His fingers pull out of you with a lewd squelching sound and you can hear him suck them into his mouth. “You taste even better than I imagined, but I want to taste that sweet pussy of yours. Up, little girl.” He coaxes you from his lap and onto the couch so your back is nestled into the cushions.

Sweat is making hair stick to your forehead and you’re breathing so heavily you’d think you just ran a marathon, but Keishin is looking down at you like you’re the most beautiful thing in the world and it nearly steals what little breath you have left in your lungs.

Oxygen is the last thing on your mind when his lips slot themselves between yours, soft yet demanding as they suck and lick. The movement of his lips doesn’t falter when he pulls your shirt over your head to reveal your light pink bra. Keishin pulls back to kiss along your collarbones, neck, and chest, his teeth occasionally nipping your sensitive flesh and leaving goosebumps in their wake. He expertly removes your panties with one hand so you’re left in just your plaid skirt, exposing your heated flesh to the coolness of the living room. 

You’re nearly naked but he’s wearing far too many clothes for your liking, so you blindly grab at his shirt, but your fingers are shaking too much for you to get a good grip. Once he realizes what you’re trying to do, he puts his hands over yours and helps you take off his shirt. You nearly start drooling when all of his hard, rippling muscles and smooth, tan skin are finally revealed to your greedy eyes that can’t seem to settle one thing. You don’t know if you’ll get this opportunity again and you want to remember everything in painstaking detail, especially Keishin’s gorgeous body.

He momentarily disentangles himself from you to remove his jeans, leaving him in just his Calvin Klein boxer briefs. The outline of his cock is evident as it strains against the blue material and you reach out to stroke it, but he just takes your hand in his.

He brings it to his lips, then kisses up your arm until he reaches your lips. “All in due time, sweet girl. I want to taste you first.” Your mouth is claimed in another hungry, bruising kiss and you squeal when Keishin takes your lip between his teeth and bites, blood rushing to the surface of your skin. 

His head dips down to leave featherlight kisses and teasing licks down your chest and stomach before he’s resting between your thighs. You whimper pitifully as he spreads your legs, awaiting the feeling of a wet tongue or his fingers against your folds. When he doesn’t move for several beats, you come to the realization that he’s just watching the way your cunt twitches and clenches around nothing and the wetness that drips onto the couch each time your muscles contract. You quickly bring your legs together to hide yourself from his scrutinizing gaze, but he simply pries them open with little effort.

Keishin grabs your chin so you’ll look right at him, squirming from the intensity of his gaze. “Don’t you dare hide this pretty pussy from me, do you understand? I am going to devour you until I’ve had my fill and you’re going to just lie back and take it.”

You nod obediently, your impudence quickly dying, giving way to the burning ache between your legs that can only be sated by a long, hard fuck.

With a satisfied hum, he settles at the apex of your thighs and licks a long stripe from your quivering pussy to your swollen clit and your hips jerk from the contact. Strong hands pin your hips to the couch as you writhe in his firm grip. He gives your clit a soft, quick kiss before he takes it into his mouth and sucks. You grab fitfully at his hair, back arching and hips pressing into his mouth as you gasp and groan from the incredible feeling of his tongue on your sensitive flesh.

His tongue teases your entrance and your cunt twitches, anticipating the first thrust of his warm, wet muscle inside you. He occasionally dips into your hole, but never breaches your entrance and you think you might go mad if he doesn’t give you more.

“I-I need more, give me more,” you manage to gasp, grabbing a fistful of the pillow underneath you as the tightening in your belly gets stronger.

Keishin removes his mouth from your cunt just long enough to admonish you for your lack of respect. “You need to have more manners if you’re going to demand things of me,” he says, before latching back onto your swollen, twitching clit.

“Daddy, pleeease I need more. Ah! I want to cum!” Your voice is so high-pitched and whiny you almost don’t recognize yourself, but you’re nearly delirious from pleasure and your impending climax that’s been dangled over your head for what feels like hours.

“Now who am I to deny you when you ask so sweetly?”

He thrusts two of his digits inside you, reaching deep inside you and rubbing against your g-spot as he sucks your clit back into his mouth. You’re almost screaming at this point, clawing at his hair and humping your cunt against his face. The familiar tightening in your belly signals that you’re about to cum and your moans and cries get faster, louder as the promise of white hot pleasure is just within reach—

It’s almost embarrassing how fast you’re teetering on the edge of climax, as if you’re a virgin school girl that’s never touched herself before. But maybe that’s the difference that years of experience can make. 

Not that you care. You just want to cum.

“Fuck, Daddy, I—I’m close!”

Sensing your impending orgasm, the man uses his free hand to slap your cheek then grabs your throat. “Uh-uh-uh,” he tuts, “Ask Daddy for permission to cum.” You’re clamping down on his fingers impossibly tighter as he fingers you even deeper, and the way he sucks on your clit renders you incapable of speech. Each time you open your mouth to try to speak, more desperate, wanton noises escape your lips.

You’re about to fucking burst at the seams and you feel like you’re on fire, but you want to be a good girl for your daddy, so you use the last bit of brain power you have left to ask for permission.

“P-pleaaase Daddy may I ahhh! May I cum!” you ask, but you can’t even hear Keishin give his approval from how loud the blood rushing in your ears is as you finally cum.

You try to muffle your cries with the back of your hand, but he grabs your wrist and wrenches it away from your mouth.

“Don’t do that. I want to hear you scream.” His tone is clipped and short, not caring how rough he is with your delicate flesh.

If you weren’t already cumming, you would have from the pleasure that’s so intense, it’s almost painful as your body is wracked with tremors. Your legs snap around Keishin’s head and you grip his hair even tighter as wave upon wave of your orgasm washes over you. You hear someone screaming and wonder what’s happening, when you realize it’s you, you’re the one screaming as you ride out your climax.

He greedily slurps and sucks up every single drop of your release that you can give him, as if he was stranded in the desert for a thousand years and your juices are the first sip of water to hit his dry, parched tongue. Your cunt is already so sensitive, painfully clenching around his fingers, but he just. Doesn’t. Stop.

“Fuck, K-Kei, wait ‘s too much,” you weakly protest, but your body is too spent to resist so you just lie there, twitching and gasping as he keeps sucking on your overstimulated clit.

His lips detach from your poor, abused bud and you almost sigh in relief before the fingers inside your cunt pump faster, stimulating every inch of your gummy walls.

Keishin leans over your sweaty, exhausted form, one hand braced on the couch, the other buried inside you. His fingers are hitting a spot inside you that makes you feel the urge to pee, so you try to push his hand away but it’s futile with how much stronger he is than you. 

“Hold onnn, I’m g-gonna—” you slur, panicked, but it’s as if he didn’t hear you.

His digits are relentless, rubbing and stroking and you’re a fucked out mess. You don’t know what he wants until an uncomfortable tightness shoots through your cunt. You cry out as clear liquid gushes out of you, splashing all over you, the couch, and Keishin. If you were more coherent, you might be mortified because you just… pissed on him—

To your surprise, he’s laughing as he removes his hand from inside you, ignoring your halfhearted groans. “I was hoping you’d do that,” he says, holding up his hand, shiny and dripping with your juices. 

“D-Do what?” you pant, unsure of what just happened and why Keishin seems so smug.

He uses his discarded t-shirt to wipe his hand off, then dabs at your stomach where a sizable puddle accumulated. “Squirt,” he responds. When he sees your confused expression, he follows up with, “It’s not piss, if you’re worried about that.”

“Ooookay.” You’re too dazed and exhausted to argue with him or question him further, so you just flop into the sofa and close your eyes.

“C’mon, little girl, don't tell me that’s all you’ve got. You were talking so much shit earlier and I have so much more to give you.” Despite how tired you are, his words spark new arousal in your belly and defiance revitalizes you, movement returning to your limbs.

You slide a hand down your stomach and spread the puffy lips of your cunt, sliding a finger through your wetness. “Of course it’s not. I’m ready to take that hard cock of yours, Daddy.”

“Attagirl, that’s what I like to see,” he praises, dropping his underwear and sliding them somewhere you can’t see. 

His cock is gorgeous, but that doesn’t come as a surprise, considering the man it belongs to. It’s thick and curved in a way that you know will reach the deepest parts of you.

What you weren’t expecting is the many piercings adorning the shaft and the one that goes through the head. A long curved barbell enters through the tip and exits through the underside of his glans. Three evenly spaced rings are embedded in the skin where his shaft meets his balls. You’ve never seen so many piercings on one man, let alone in such a sensitive place, so you gawk at the smooth metal rings that shine in the overhead lights.

“You’re… You have…”

He grins widely and it’s so devilish you think he might swallow you whole and honestly? You’d let him. You’d let him do whatever he wants to you. “Haha, yeah I get that reaction a lot. Never seen a pierced cock before, huh?”

“No, but there’s a first time for everything. I’m dying to see how those,” you point to his piercings, “Feel inside me.”

Keishin wordlessly climbs on top of you and rubs the head against your wetness, spreading it along his shaft to ease his entry. “They’ll feel fucking incredible, but you’ll have to beg for it.”

You scoff, reaching to grab his hips so he’ll fuck you already, but he scoots backwards so you can’t touch him.

“Naughty girls that misbehave don’t get fucked, so you’d better smarten up quickly,” he warns, making you gasp as he thrusts his cock against your clit.

He lazily nudges the head over your flesh, occasionally letting it catch on the tight ring of muscle around your hole. When he slots between your pussy lips, you try to wiggle and hump your hips in his direction, in hopes that he’ll slide right in.

But he doesn’t, and you’re about to go mad with his cock so close, but so far away.

“Please fuck me Daddy. I need your cock so bad!” You’re on the verge of tears, the buildup of the last few weeks overwhelming your senses.

Making a noise of sympathy, Keishin pets your hair affectionately and kisses your cheek. “All you had to do was ask.”

His hips pull back, then he’s thrusting inside you, sheathing himself to the hilt in your tight heat. You whimper and whine at the sudden intrusion, but any pain you feel is overshadowed by the way that his cock is filling you so full. The burn and stretch hurts so fucking good that your orgasm hits you like a freight train, fast and hard and blinding. Keishin fucks you through it, his cock touching all of the sensitive spots inside you and the pleasure is so strong you have to screw your eyes shut as you cry out and fall apart around him.

When you open them again, the man is staring down at you with the most shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. “See? I said you’d cum as soon as I put my cock inside you.”

Using all the strength you can muster, you slap his arm. “Shut up and just fuck me.”

“You still haven’t learned your manners, but I just can’t wait to shoot my cum deep inside this cute cunt of yours,” Keishin groans, pulling almost all the way out before burying himself back inside the hot, welcoming clutch of your pussy. 

You can feel each of the metal rings on his cock, foreign and strange, but the odd feeling soon fades to little shocks of ecstasy each time they brush against your insides.

The lewd slapping sounds of skin on skin are all you can hear besides the occasional moan or hiss from the man fucking you within an inch of your life, not that you can focus on anything else right now.

You nudge at Keishin’s shoulder and he stops the rapid pistoning of his hips, an almost annoyed look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, but you just smile and push him backwards onto the couch, just like you were. He grunts in surprise as he falls backward, but he quickly quiets down when you climb on top of him and sink yourself back down on his length.

You both moan in unison as he fills you once more, the tip of his cock pressing against your cervix each time you force your cunt back down on him. His hands wander to your tits, grabbing, squeezing, and pinching the sensitive buds of your nipples. 

Ever the troublemaker, you can’t resist making a jab at him now that you’re on top. “I wonder what she’d do if she knew you were with me right now. What would your daughter say about you taking advantage of a young, helpless girl?”

Keishin takes that moment to pull you against him, thrusting hard and rough into your gummy walls that never stop pulsing around him. You’re shaking and gasping, your tongue lolling out of your mouth in your pleasured delirium. “With the way your greedy, sloppy cunt is clenching around me, I wouldn’t say I’m taking advantage of you,” he points out, only slightly out of breath. “But you get off on this, don’t you? Letting an old man like me fuck you. I’m old enough to be your father.”

“Like you’re any b-better,” you bite back.

You cry out when Keishin starts rubbing your swollen clit in tight little circles, your third orgasm fast approaching. 

“Fuck! I can—urgh, I can feel your pussy pulsing around me. I’m g-gonna cum,” he grits out, thrusting impossibly deeper inside you. He's pressed so far into you, he’s just thumping the head of his cock against your cervix. You scream and write in his arms, seeking to relieve the sharp burning in your womb just a little bit, but he has you firmly locked in his clutches. “Be a good little girl and cum for Daddy.”

Almost on command, you shake and moan, loud and long, as you cream all over his cock and coat the base in milky white. “Oh fuck, oh god! D-Daddy I’m cu-mming!” you wail with the last of your energy.

You’re so exhausted you go limp against him and let him use your body as a fuck toy until he reaches his climax. Keishin follows soon behind you, his thrusts growing sloppier and less coordinated as he mumbles obscenities under his breath. “Shit shit shit, fuck I’m cumming! I’m gonna—fuck!”

With one last thrust into your fluttering, over stimulated cunt he orgasms, his legs shaking as he shoots rope after rope of cum into your quivering womb.

You both lay there for several minutes to catch your breaths. You’re so sore and boneless you can barely move, but you manage to extricate yourself from Keishin’s long limbs. Leaning into the arm of the couch, you let your eyes flutter closed and allow sleep to take you.

You’re awoken by a warm, wet washcloth rubbing against your sensitive folds and you whine, sleepily wiggling your hips to get away from the discomfort. “Kid, I know it doesn’t feel good but, uh, it’s kind of a mess down there. You can go back to sleep, just let me clean you up.” Keishin’s familiar timbre comforts you so you settle back down, still half asleep.

“Mmm, Keishin?” you mumble, making grabby hands at the man.

He takes one of your hands in his. “Yeah?” he responds as he wipes the washcloth between your legs with his other hand.

You rub your face against his hand before placing a sloppy kiss on top of it. “Thank youuuu,” you slur.

Keishin just chuckles and rubs his fingers over your knuckles. “Yeah kid, you’re welcome. Just get some rest, alright?”

You’re asleep before he even finishes the sentence.

----

When you awaken it’s dark, most likely the middle of the night. There’s a blanket thrown over your unexpectedly clothed body, which is now covered in a worn, oversized shirt. It smells like fabric softener and musk, so you figure it must be Keishin’s.

Looking around, you bolt upright when you realize you’re not on the living room couch anymore, you’re now in a large, comfortable bed.

The sound of a deep, rumbling voice draws your attention to the bathroom connected to the room you’re currently in. “Oh, you’re finally awake,” Keishin says sheepishly as he emerges from the bathroom, then points to the nightstand next to you. “There’s some water and ibuprofen, you should take it. Even if you’re not sore now, you will be later.”

You chuckle tiredly as you stretch your overworked muscles. “I’m already sore, so I’ll definitely be taking these.”

He sits awkwardly on the side of the bed, unsure how to treat you after your little encounter. His brows are furrowed, a deep frown on he’s seemingly deep in thought.

“Whatever you’re thinking, just spit it out.” His head immediately snaps to you, eyes guarded and unreadable.

“What we did downstairs, it’s… not right. I’m supposed to protect young, impressionable girls like you. I’m a father—I would die if Tomi was after a man more than twice her age.”

You pull the blanket off of you and climb over to where the older man is seated on the mattress. “Keishin, let me ask you something.” He lifts his head, expectant. “Did you enjoy what we did? Because I did.” He nods slowly, still unsure what you’re getting at.

Taking his face in your hands, you tell him what you’ve been thinking for weeks. “At the end of the day, we’re two consenting adults who partook in consensual activities. Even if someone wants to clutch their pearls because you’re older than me, who cares?”

“Yeah, I get that, but… It has to be some sort of ethics violation on my part. You’re younger than my daughter, Bunny.”

“Even if it is, you have to allow yourself to live a little. Life is too short to deny yourself pleasures the world has to offer, and I don’t know about you, but I was very pleased by our… tryst.”

A cute blush spreads across Keishin’s cheeks as he remembers everything he said and did to you. “Aha, I was too. So, um… Would you want to do that again, sometime?” he asks, running a hand through his hair like he always does when he’s nervous.

You giggle and tackle him on the bed, wrapping your arms around him and squeezing. “Of course I do. We can even do it now, if you’d like…”

A couple hours later, just before Hitomi comes back, you limp across the hallway to your room and pass out, falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

And that is how your little arrangement begins.

Most of your time is spent with Hitomi, mostly shopping and going out to eat when she has the day off, or just watching Netflix in her room when you’re both too tired to go anywhere.

However, in the wee hours of the morning when you’re sure that she’s asleep, you sneak up to her father’s bedroom and get fucked so hard and so good you can barely make it back to your bedroom before the sun rises.

It’s a good arrangement, you think, you both get what you want and your friend is none the wiser. You figure no harm, no foul. At the end of the winter break, Keishin will likely want to cut things off with you and you’ll go back to your college dorm as if nothing happened.

But the winter break isn’t over yet, and you plan on making the most of it.

Keishin has been fucking you into the mattress for so long, time no longer even makes sense anymore. 

You’re sweaty and exhausted, muscles so sore and shaky, but the thrusting between your legs shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. The harsh grip on your hips will likely bruise, but luckily you can hide them, unlike the few close calls you’ve had with poorly-placed marks on your neck.

Despite your exhaustion, you continue to meet Keishin’s thrusts by humping your hips back at him.

He gives your ass a harsh spank and fucks into you harder, making you whine and clench around him. “You’re an insatiable little thing, aren’t you? So fucked out and dripping with my cum, yet you still want more,” he says, but all you can do is gasp in response. You’re too far gone to produce any meaningful response. “What am I going to do with you?” If you had the energy, you’d tell him whatever he wants, but you don’t and the familiar tug of an orgasm is too hard to ignore.

“Fuck Daddy, I-I’m—”  

Suddenly, his phone comes to life, Hitomi’s face lighting up the screen as it vibrates. The pistoning of his hips slows, then stops completely as he reaches over and grabs it off the nightstand.

He suddenly pulls out of your sore, abused cunt and you almost whine at the loss before he buries himself back inside you. The way your face is pressed into the mattress makes it difficult, but you manage to turn your head to see what Keishin is doing behind you.

Your eyes widen and you try to wriggle out of his grip when you figure out that he’s going to answer his phone as he keeps fucking you.

A hand wraps around your neck, lifting you up from your position on the bed and you have to follow its movement to prevent your windpipe from getting crushed. You’re pressed against Keishin’s hard chest, and his cock is nestled right against your cervix. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll just stay still and take it like a good little girl.”

The harsh grip on your neck releases and you’re shoved back into the bed, falling onto the comforter.

Keishin sounds completely normal when he answers his phone and it almost pisses you off—how can he be so unaffected when you’re at your wit’s end? 

He chirps into the phone, “Hey sweetheart, what’s up?” The only indication that anything is amiss is the slight breathlessness in his voice and the occasional curse under his breath.

He forces himself even deeper inside you so forcefully that you’re afraid he’ll punch straight through to your womb. You know it’s not possible, but with Keishin, it just might be. He’s always full of surprises, especially when it comes to your body.

“Oh yeah, sure I can drop it off to you later. I’m just a little… preoccupied at the moment,” he says with a sharp thrust of his hips and you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips. Keishin stiffens above you, waiting to see if Hitomi heard you through the phone.

“No, Hitomi, I’m not watching porn! But hold on a second, I think someone is at the door.” He sets the phone on the bed, muting the call as his cock hits your g-spot and you’re shaking, practically shivering in his arms. A couple of hard, coordinated rubs of your engorged clit and you’re cumming, gushing around him and keening as your muscles clench uncomfortably. You scream silently and fall limp onto the bed, unable to hold yourself up any longer. 

You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve cum, but it’s to the point that each successive orgasm borders on the edge of pleasure and pain.

“Better keep quiet, wouldn’t want my daughter to hear you getting your pretty little cunt stuffed full of my cock,” Keishin snarls into your ear and you feel yourself clench painfully around him. Your body is just so worn out, but you know he won’t stop until he’s satisfied. “Or do you want her to know what a slut you are for her father?”

You shake your head vehemently, but the man inside you just chuckles as he keeps fucking you.

“Oh my god, oh fuck I-I…” You’re babbling nonsense to no one in particular.

“Ahh it was just-fuck, it was just some dude trying to sell me security cameras. Anyways, I’ll see you later honey, I love you.” His last few sentences sound rushed, urgent and you can tell from the twitching of his length that he’s close. The moment the phone is hung up, Keishin cages you between his body and the mattress. “Your cunt feels so fucking good, I’m gonna fill you up with my cum. Would you like that?”

You try to nod and make a noise akin to ‘mhm,’ but you’re not sure what it sounds like. You’re not really sure of anything right now, but what you are sure of is you want him to cum inside you.

“I could never deny you anything, sweet girl,” he groans.

Keishin fucks into you harder, faster, and it feels as if he’s quite literally rearranging your guts, he’s so deep inside you. He reaches down between your legs and pinches your sensitive bud between his fingers. “Think you have one more in you, hm?” he asks, but he doesn’t wait for your answer. Of course you do.” He rubs your sore clit the way he knows will have you shaking and coming apart around him.

“Fuck Daddy, fuck I’m cumming!” you squeal, writhing and squirming from the painful, aching tightness of your orgasm as it builds once more. 

“Ergh, fuck yeah, cum on Daddy’s cock as he fills you up. You’re such a good fucking girl for me, I love this sweet pussy.”

You shriek as you cum, your climax so strong that your vision blurs at the edges and you convulse, sore muscles twitching with overuse. 

“Daddy’s gonna breed his sweet little girl, fuck, feels so fucking good!” Keishin groans, burying himself as deeply as he can inside you and shooting his cum into your quivering hole. You sigh in relief at the feeling of his warm cum flooding your womb, thankful he finally came because you couldn’t have lasted much longer in your state.

He flops next to you on the bed, sweaty and exhausted from your hours-long fuck marathon. Throwing an arm over your waist, he pulls you to his chest and buries his nose in your neck. 

Hitomi’s not supposed to come back for several hours, so you both deem it safe to fall asleep as you are. Just when you’re about to drift off, your phone buzzes from the bedside table.

You reach for your phone, expecting it to be some spam email.

Your heart stops, the whole world seems to freeze when you open the text message.

From: Tomie <3

So when were you going to tell me you’re fucking my dad?

[taravangianlistenstothebeachboys]

How'd you like Baru Cormorant?

Semi related: Is your username unironic?

Oh, I adored The Traitor Baru Cormorant. I actually cracked and got the second book already, but I've had to hide it from myself so I could get my midterms done.

As for the second question, my username is (mostly) ironic; I'm just really fascinated by versions of the "evil utilitarian" character who actually come off as nuanced and somewhat sympathetic. I feel like Sanderson is using the Stormlight Archives to explore his own feelings on consequentialist ethics in an interesting way; on the one hand we have a lot of straight-up villains who use weak utilitarian reasoning to justify self-serving behavior. Amaram tries to justify stealing Kaladin's shardblade and killing his men as necessary, saying that the right story needs to be told to keep up the army's morale, but it takes about 5 seconds of reasoning to realize his logic is bullshit. Sadeas doesn't even pretend to believe his own lies about the necessity of grabbing power, and Gavilar's musings in later life on the importance of improving and uniting Alethkar have been revealed as the grandiose myth-making of a man obsessed with legacy and eternal power. Just focusing on these characters, it would seem like utilitarians are all a bunch of power-hungry assholes who equate "the greater good" with whatever helps them get ahead.

And this type of character is probably the main representation utilitarians get in popular media. But there are more complicated depictions as well. We have Jasnah, leader of an entire radiant order whose whole philosophy is ensuring the greatest possible ends. And yeah, she's pretty goddamn ruthless. Her first pitch for strategy in Oathbreaker was pretty much just genocide. But she's consistently used her power to egalitarian ends, much more so than other, more traditionally sympathetic characters like Dalinar or Adolin. She loosened caste restrictions, is enacting an end to the Alethkar slave system, and is planning on bringing an end to the monarchy. She actually walks the walk in trying to achieve the greatest happiness for the greatest number, and I suspect in later books that this will extend to the Singers. While not presented as wholly "the true good," Jasnah and her worldview are presented as salient and understandable, and in my eyes, admirable. It's something we don't see a lot, which leads to occasionally weird reactions—I remember some people were convinced (and may still be) that Jasnah freeing the Alethi slaves would turn out to be part of some big evil plot of hers. And that reaction honestly makes some sense, because it a lot of stories, it would be. Way too often individual acts of kindness are depicted as the only legitimate ways of doing good, with large-scale societal reworkings either doomed to failure or part of a secret villainous scheme. It's a narrative that I think has done a lot of harm, and I'm glad to see it being challenged in a small way.

And somewhere in the middle, we have Taravangian. You could argue that his motivations are somewhat self-serving; during his high-intelligence low-empathy period in Oathbringer, he had a whole mental spiel about how his plan would show up those who thought him an idiot since birth. But for the most part that's background noise to the much more interesting problem: a man is faced with global oblivion, has a plan he all but knows will circumvent it, but will have to commit atrocities to achieve it. He knows it's possible that other strategies can win out, strategies that would sacrifice less good people. But he also knows those strategies wouldn't be certain victories. If he commits to them instead of to the diagram, he could very well be missing out on the one real shot the world has. Could he justify potentially dooming everything when a solution is right there?

Really, its the same reason I love Baru so much as a character. After all, her actions and motivations are much the same: start wars, betray close allies, burn everyone around you to keep your own flame alight until you're in a place of power high enough that you can ensure the worst won't happen. Taravangian throws nations into chaos so he can ensure some remnant of humanity will be spared by Odium, Baru breaks Aurdwynn to keep the Masquerade from doing to the world what it did to her home. I don't agree with either character, but examining why isn't a simple matter. It's fascinating and its horrifying and it brings up interesting questions about how to act when every action and inaction has massive but uncertain consequences.