#oh also uhm. okay to reblog of course

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Aran Ryan Animations that Make Me Insane 💚💜💚

[jilixthinker]

i always know

=͟͟͞♡ seungmin × fem!reader

=͟͟͞♡ fluffy period sex

word count: 4K

content warning: smut, explicit sexual content, established relationship, kinda sub!seungmin, period sex, unprotected sex (piv), fingering, oral sex (f receiving), it's grafic and fluffy

a/c: i wrote this for my pure enjoyment because period!sex should be debunked and seungmin is just so... fitting. enjoy this ♡

=͟͟͞♡ please, consider reblogging if you like my works!

"What do you need again?"

Seungmin's voice is ruffled and far. You can hear people talking in the background and the annoying beeping sounds of cash registers.

"Just the regular pads I always buy." You huff, hot bottle strategically placed on your lower stomach and phone on speaker. The fact that you had to do anything today is literally a crime. You had to go to work, 8 infinite hours of cramps and shivers, and then grocery shopping. And, of course, you forgot to buy your pads.

Seungmin finished his shift 30 minutes ago, and he called to check on you, asking if you were feeling like eating Chinese for dinner. That's when it popped into your mind.

"Uhm. The purple ones, right?". You can hear him searching through the boxes to find the right one.

"Yes, just those." You mutter, another dart of dull pain spikes through your abdomen, making you curl on yourself.

The painkiller you took with lunch wore off hours ago and you cannot take another one without eating before, or it will upset your stomach.

"Okay. 10 minutes and I'll be home. I am so sorry".

You roll from your side onto your back, hugging the hot bottle tighter to your tummy and drawing your knees towards your chest. Kim Seungmin is the best boyfriend in the entire world, a true angel, and you know it. That's why you say it all the time.

"Kim Seungmin, you are the best boyfriend in the entire world."

Seungmin's laugh is quiet and shy while you hear him paying for your box of pads.

"I'm not. Coming."

You close your eyes trying to relax, but it doesn’t work. You watch your own chest rise and fall in the overwhelming quiet of the room until the silence is too much, and you look for the remote, stuck under the million of cushions on your sofa. You put one of your favorite kdramas on, and you lazily start to watch it until you hear the sound of keys just outside the door.

You sit up, keeping your hot bottle on your stomach. The sound is followed by the shuffle of footsteps and the sound of Seungmin's soft voice.

"Hi." He waves as soon as he sees you, splayed on the couch.

"Hi," you respond. You try to keep the discomfort out of your voice, even if Seungmin knows how much painful your periods can be. Your pale face doesn't hide anything as well.

He rounds the corner and he tilts his head at you. His new blondish hair partially covers his puppy eyes, but it makes him look so soft and cuddly that you don't mind.

"Are you alright?". He asks you while he starts to set the table for the take-out.

"Yeah, fine". You rub your face and move against the arm of the couch. "Always the same".

"Mhm." Seungmin nods and places two napkins and your chopsticks on the table before heading for the kitchen. You watch him opening two boxes of stir fried noodles and one of caramelized tofu, together with some mushrooms and veggies.

"Ready." He smiles and comes toward you, offering his hand as a support for standing up. When you both sit at the table, he fills your plate before his.

"Why are you so sweet today?" You ask, picking up your chopstick and starting munching on some veggies.

He ducks his head with a cute wink. "I am always sweet. Also, you are hurting." He squeezes your hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing your knuckles. You stuff a piece of tofu inside your mouth.

"I am not hur-".Then another cramp twists through your lower belly and you groan.

"Oh, love." He coos, and looking up, you realize he has a worried look in his eyes. "Wait, let me help you eat".

Before you can mount any protest, he takes your chopsticks from your hands and bring a piece of tofu and mushrooms in front of your mouth. You look at him steadily.

"I am not a child." You huff, but the pain humbles you quickly with a sharp cramp.

"How many times have you mothered me when I was sick? Let me pamper you every once in a while." And then he looks at you with the softest eyes he could master. "Please?"

You lift your legs to place them on his laps and you silently open your mouth. The flavorful taste of the food calming your senses just a little. Seungmin alternates one mouthful of food for you and one for himself for a few minutes. The vision is so caring and sweet that makes your heart ache.

When you both finish eating, Seungmin places a tiny kiss on your cheek before starting to clear the table. You patiently wait for him to finish and, when he is done, he hands you a big glass of water with one of your painkillers.

"I feel awful". You admit after chugging the pill together with half of the water.

Seungmin nods, and he gently circles your hips with his arm, helping you standing up again. He rests one of his hands on your hipbone and caresses it. "What can I do?".

"Nothing, Min." you reply. "I'm not dying. It will pass, eventually. It happens every month". You glare and hope he can stop worrying that much before you start feeling guilty.

"Why don't you choose something nice to watch while I prepare the bed and make another hot bottle?"

The thought of you two cuddling on your warm bed until the painkillers kick in and you can fall asleep is very tempting.

"Sure. I am gonna change my pad real quick and put my pajamas on."

Seungmin smiles and you pick up the box he bought for you from a shopping bag, heading to the bathroom.

After taking the quickest shower and putting a fluffy set of pajamas, you enter in your room. Seungmin turned on just the background lights, the softer ones, and he is waiting for you under the covers. He created what it seems to be a nest of blankets, soft and warm. You snuggle next to him and he covers you with one of them, the hot bottle waiting for you.

You hug his chest and he places one arm around your shoulders, pressing the bottle on your stomach and making sure you are all covered with the blankets. The TV in front of your bed is already on.

"I don't deserve you." You whisper, nuzzling your nose in the crook of his neck. He smells nice, fresh and clean as always.

"You deserve any of this and more". He turns his head to press a peck on your forehead, and he tightens his hug. You puff some air while snuggling up. The warmth of his body feels just right against your aching stomach, and in just a few seconds you begin to feel better already.

"How can you always find out what I need?" You ask, the sound of your voice is muffled by the skin of his neck, and Seungmin lets out a tiny laugh.

"Well, it's simple. I love you. I always know." He murmurs, settling his hand on the nape of your neck. Your eyes slip shut, you still  feel an uncomfortable tightness in your lower stomach, but it's definitively decreasing.

Seungmin finds the remote control and clicks on the same episode of the drama you were watching before. His touch melts down your skin, warm and soft, soothing the tension of your muscles and bringing you the relief you’ve been craving the whole day.

The voices of the drama seem far while you bring your right leg to straddle Seungmin's.

"This feels so nice". You whisper on his skin.

Seungmin smiles and starts to hum a lullaby. The vibrations are low and you start to think you might even fall asleep like this. Then, another cramp hits you and suddenly you are wide awake again.

"That bad?" Seungmin's hands settle on your hips and travel to your back, massaging your spine in tiny circles, trying to help you with the pain.

"Uhm." You reply. His fingers catch on the hem of your pajamas shirt and he starts to press the pads on your bare skin. He keeps the pressure consistent and your back arches slightly into his. You shuffle closer to him. The heat of his hands on your back is a pleasing distraction from the ache spreading through your pelvis.

"Does it help a little?" He whispers while pressing another kiss on your temple.

"It feels good." You mumble. The noise is muffled in the soft fabric of Seungmin's sweater.

He nods, and for a few minutes he keeps alternating between applying pressure to your back and running his hands up and down your spine. You hum from deep in your chest as you feel yourself go loose in his arms. The cramps on your abdomen lighten and you tilt your head to the side to face him.

"Kiss?" You demand, voice all groggy and low.

Seungmin lowers his face to press his lips against yours. They are plump and soft, and they taste like mint. You lazily open your mouth and let your tongue lap his lower lip. He lets you do it for a bit, until you start nibbling at it and you feel getting restless under the warm covers.

"Getting better?" He asks without letting your mouth go.

You nod and his right hand comes up to cup your cheek. The other one is still on your lower back, caressing the skin over your pajama pants.

Seungmin hums slowly and the sound vibrates into you. He parts his lips and licks into your mouth while your grip on him becomes tighter.

"Can I try something?" He breathes on you. The pressure of his hand on your back is firmer than before, and his fingers feel hot against your sensitive skin.

"Something like?" you stop to look up to him. He looks a little bit flushed, but you're sure you look worse.

"Something than can help you. And something that I wanted to try for a while."

You feel a slight shiver on the skin of your back. You nod and lower your face to press your lips on his cheek, leaving an open mouthed kiss on it. Seungmin cups your chin again and slips the tip of his tongue inside your waiting mouth. You hum pleasantly, trying to deepen the kiss, until finally Seungmin gives in and lets you.   

Your lower stomach is still throbbing with pain, but you quickly feel a wave of warmth spreading on your belly. It feels like Seungmin is making everything hot, every little part of you that he gets to touch. He starts to drag his warm tongue along your lips while his hands tease the place where your skin meets the fabric of your pants. When he starts to play with the elastic band underneath, you lazily detach your mouth from his.

"Min?"

"Uh?" He leans back a little, but his lips find the tender spot under your ear and he begins to kiss you there.

"I am getting really horny." You admit. Your eyes slip shut and you lean on his touch.

"That's perfect." He murmurs, sucking a tiny portion of skin into his mouth and bringing his hands to cup your ass over the fabric of your pajamas. You moan at the touch and you press your body firmly against his.

"Is this okay?" He asks, sucking another bite into the skin of your neck.

You roll your head back onto the pillow under you, giving him more space. The soft light reflects on his brown eyes, glazy and dusted with arousal.

"Very."

Seungmin licks a stripe up your throat, all the way to your ear, and he gently rolls you on the bed until you are laying completely on your back. Even if his touch is light, you wince when he lays a hand on your stomach, slipping his fingers under your waistband. He dips his head to kiss the corner of your mouth, and then at the exposed skin of your collarbones, where the collar of your pajamas has slipped to the side.

You gasp when he slowly slips his hand underneath your pants and his fingers find your underwear. You stop tensing your legs, letting them fall apart slowly, and his fingers brush lower, over your inner thighs.

You’re so sensitive like this that you feel you could explode any moment now. The warmth of the room, combined with all the hormones flooding your body, heighten every little touch.

Seungmin's knuckles brush against the fabric of your cotton panties, and he slips a finger under the elastic band, finally pulling them off together with your pants. The induments fall on the floor, and that's when you remember your conditions.

"Minnie... I think we should grab a towel."

Seungmin kneels on the mattress in between your parted legs, and grab your knees to keep them open. "I don't care about the towel."

You are about to protest when one of Seungmin's hands slips lower and you feel the first brush of his fingers on you. A moan escapes from your mouth and your eyes flutter shut. And when he finally touches you, you keen.

He cups you fully, his palm resting over your pulsating core and thumb starting to rub your clit. You feel his pad tickling the tight bundle of nerves before dipping his fingers lower to tease at your entrance.

"Fuck."

You smell your own blood and arousal thick in the air, and it's so primal and raw that you feel lightheaded.

Seungmin presses in, his fingertip just dipping into you, and you drop your head against the pillow with a long a whine.

"You look beautiful." He murmurs. He inches his middle finger deeper and you can feel the squelching noise your pussy is letting out. The gushing sound reverberates in the room and it makes your head spin.

He presses the heel of his hand down and grinds it against your core, while he places his other hand on the lowest part of your belly.

"You look so good between my legs." You breathe out, circling your hips into his touch. His finger is fully inside inside you, but you are so wet that you need something more to feel stuffed.

Seungmin chuckles and he kisses your abdomen, pushing his finger in and out and pulling lewd noises out of you.

"Give me another one."

"Yes." He eases another finger into you, circling your folds with his pad before fucking it into you.

"Good boy."

He holds your body steady with his arm around your left thigh. He crooks his fingers to rub against the spongy spot inside you and your leg twitches. Your whole body is thick with desire and you feel so sensitive that you could come just from the obscene sound of Seungmin fucking your own blood into you.

He keeps you open like this for a few minutes, thrusting his fingers inside, and then smearing all of your liquids around your folds. Then he curls them again deeper into you.

When he slides his third finger in, you can feel yourself dripping on his wrist. And it should be gross, it should be revolting, but the only thought your brain can produce is hot hot hot hot. You bring your hand down and grab Seungmin's forearm, regulating his pushes and feeling his muscles flexing under his skin as he fuck you steadily.

"I wan' taste." Seungmin hums after a minute. His chocolatey eyes are staring hungrily at the way you pussy ingulfs his fingers.

"Yes, fuck. Taste me." You moan, the noises stuck in your throat come out groggy and low.

You drop the hand that was holding his arm and Seungmin just leans in, tongue lolling out of his mouth before he brings his lips on your pussy, flicking his warm muscle on your clit.  

You hiss and your body tense up feeling Seungmin get lost in you. He closes his lips around your bundle of nerves and he sucks, hard.

"Seungmin."

You moan, hips bucking into his face while he dips his tongue against your entrance and you let out an audible gasp. Your eyes flick down to meet his, fully blown out with arousal. He pulls his tongue out and he keeps giving kitten licks, as if he was savoring a rich glass of wine.

Your head fall back on the pillow as you let him continue. Seungmin brings his fingers to your entrance once again, and he push just his index in, licking a fat strip from your entrance to your clit, purring with enjoyment.

"Taste good?" you ask, and you sound out of breath. Everything is so hot around you and you feel more drops of blood gushing out of you.

"You cannot believe how good." Seungmin whispers, looking up to meet your eyes and licking you deep at the same time.

The whole room is almost dark, the few lights that are still on don't allow you to see Seungmin in his interity. But it's enough for you to see him almost suffocating himself in your drooly cunt with your blood smeared on the corner of his mouth.

"Baby... Min, god. Need you inside."

Seungmin hums against your folds and sucks one more time before he wipes his mouth on his own wrist, pressing a wet kiss on your inner thigh.

He reaches down to fumble with the elastic band of his pants, clumsily tugging his erection free from the constriction of his underwear as he leans into you and smashes his lips against yours. You moan loudly when he opens his mouth and swirls his tongue inside, the metalic taste of your blood filthy and intoxicatic. Seungmin bites on your lower lip, and then he soothes it with his tongue. Everything is so raw that you feel yourself getting close already.

"It's not gonna be impressive." He whispers, bringing his hand down to messily stroke himself, thrusting into his own fingers just a couple of times. You can feel his tip bumping into your hip, all red and puffy, precum dribbling on your skin.

"I didn't touch you". You huff on his lips, licking his cheek and biting it lazily.

"You tasted too good. I almost came." He admits. He brings his cock in front of your pussy and he slides its chubby head on your clit. There is a mess of blood, spit and slick all mixing together and you moan at the feeling.

"Don't care. I am close. I jus' need your cum."

Seungmin swallows, fidgeting a little as his cock taps against your swollen clit. You circles your hips against him and your pussy catches the tip. You kiss him.

"Baby, Minnie. Wanna see my blood and your cum leak out of me after you fuck me nice and hard?"

Seungmin lets out a small noise at that, biting his lip. You can tell he is close by the way his breathes come out staggered.

"Yes, please". He agrees, finally pushing himself inside of you in one thrust, trying his best not to come immediately.

You moan pleasantly at the strech as he bottoms out. You feel his swollen balls rest on the fat of your thighs and from the sound you hear, you are making a mess on the bed sheets under you. You try to remember why is this the first time you are doing this, and you cannot find a reason.

Seungmin is shivering on top of you, and he delivers a first shallow push. You sigh in pleasure and he starts rocking his hips against yours. The wet sounds fill the room together with Seungmin's sweet hiccups. He held back for too long, and now he cannot help himself no more.

You cup his chin with your hands and you press a light kiss on his lips.

"You like it Minnie, uh? How long did you wait for this? You could have asked, you know. I would have said yes from the first time. I would have let you shove your cock inside me and cover it in blood. All nice and wet for you. Nasty boy."

Seungmin blushes heavily as you open youd legs, lowering a hand to spread apart your folds.

"Cum inside me, c'mon."

His thrusts are messy and errating, unable to bring himself to look at you in the eyes out of embarrassment. You dig your nails into his broad shoulders and he whines loudly as he pushes frenetically into you.

It is just a matter of time considering how close both of you have been from the start. The wet sounds that come with every thrust, together with the sight of your pussy stretched around his cock, are so sinful that Seungmin has to look away, a tight ring of slick and blood forming on his girth.

"G'na cum." He stutters, giving a few hard thrusts.

You nod and bring your hand in between your bodies to start rubbing at your puffy clit. The pressure combined with Seungmin's thrust is enough to bring to to the edge in a few seconds, and with your free hand you cup his face and you kiss him deep.

"Cum, baby boy. Fill me up."

Seungmin trembles and gives two final pushes inside of you before hitting his limit, groaning out as he cums. His fingers grips tight at your legs as he spurts hot cum all over your walls.

You whine as you feel his sperm coating your insides, dragging your nails down his back and letting out a loud moan as you finally cum around him, pussy swollen and tight, milking him till his last drop.

After what it seems to be hours, Seungmin collapses onto you and pants on your neck, his soft bangs all sweaty and curly on his face. You catch your breath for a few seconds before feeling him pulling out.

As his softening cock is pulled out of you, you feel all of your liquids leaking out of your entrance, mixed with his cum. You whine and Seungmin kisses your chin.

"Did I hurt you? Are you alright?"

"You didn't hurt me. I am great." You move your head to face him and he kisses your cheek. Then your nose. Then your lips. "I am just concerned about the state of our bed."

"Oh, well. I think Jeff Dahmer had a cleaner bed." He chuckles, after taking a quick look at the sheets underneath. "It's my fault. I will clean them myself."

"You better." You laugh. Seungmin laughs with you and it's a soft exhalation of breath that tickles your cheek.

"Yes ma'am". He shifts a little in your embrace, and you turn over so your cheek can rub against his shoulder.

"Does it still hurt?" He asks.

You let it out on a satisfied sigh, your cramps long forgotten. “Nope.”

"Good." He smiles softly and he kisses you on your forehead. You wrap your arms tightly around him and bite his shoulder.

"How can you always know... wait, no, it doesn’t matter."

The voices of your kdramas are still a background noise.

Seungmin chuckles. "I told you. I love you. I always know."

©️ jilixthinker, 2024. please do not copy, translate, or republish my works anywhere.

[taintedcigs]

GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader

CHAPTER SEVEN: SHE'S THUNDERSTORMS

← prev chapter // next chapter →

✦ summary: in which corroded coffin performs at the hideout (wc: 9.3k+)

✦ warnings — angst, ANGST, arguments, FINALLY SOME DESERVED FLUFF, jealousy, jealous!menace!eddie, the kiddos make an appearance!!!, uhmm kissing,,, eddie and p are an old married couple, drinking, smoking/weed, uhm thats it i think.

✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader

✦ authors note — not proof-read i tried but i cant do it. pls ignore all mistakes. SO VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT. hopefully this makes up for it. as usual the song is by arctic monkeys, and the other song mentioned is lover you should've come over by jeff buckley. but we'll pretend like its all by corroded coffin so shshsh.

anyway ily all pls interact + like + reblog to support me! i'd also LOVE LOVE to chat about anything abt this series it literally is my baby!! pls dont hesitate to send me an ask about anything mwah thank you for reading💗

series masterlist | series playlist

“Dude, I’m telling you it was not my fault.” Gareth exasperated desperately, hands up in the air in defeat.

But Eddie was quick to shake his head, “You drove her here, how is it not your fucking fault, Gareth?” He spat, bitter and angry. 

“She insisted! She wants to apologize to Pinky!”

“What?” Confusion etched across Eddie’s face. 

With an annoyed sigh, “Yeah, the whole fuckin’ world has to revolve around her,” Gareth muttered under his breath, knowing that saying anything about you would drive Eddie crazy. 

“Watch it,” Eddie warned, mouth downturned in disgust almost immediately. 

“What? It’s the truth.”

“Gareth, I’m not gonna tell you this a second fuckin’ time, okay? Don’t do that shit around me and never say one fucking word about her again, you got that?” He gritted through his teeth, his hand unintentionally clenching into a fist. 

“Jesus Christ.” 

“I mean it,” Eddie spat.

“Fine, fine!” Gareth threw his hands up in defeat, both of them downing their drink before scurrying away. 

Shit.

You knew you shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but it wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to get a drink for the group, surfing through the sea of people—which was unusual for The Hideout. Still, you guessed the only celebrity from Hawkins was enough to have people swarming in, and Gareth and Eddie happened to be chatting right behind you. 

Even though it stung to hear Gareth talk of you like you were the fucking anti-christ, hearing Eddie defend you like that had that familiar warmth spread through your entire body. And you hated it, you hated the soft spot you’d always have for him, how it would take you back to five years ago when he would be there for you, every single time. 

Fucking great, you had so many people to avoid tonight; Chrissy, Gareth, and Eddie. 

With a sigh, you quickly disappeared into the crowd, carrying a tray of drinks for everyone. Plopping it on the booth with a slight sloosh. 

Everyone reached for it and you were quick to slap away Max, Lucas, and Dustin’s curious hands. “Oh, come on!” Max protested with a groan. 

“Not legal,” you hummed with a narrowed gaze. “Yeah, I’m sure you were legal when you were shotgunning beers and smoking joints like it was your lifeline during senior year,” Lucas mumbled under his breath, quick to get settled into his seat with a huff. 

You gasped dramatically, “Lucas Sinclair!” Exclaiming as he gave you a simple shrug. 

“So what’s new with you and Mr. Rockstar, now?” He teased, and you narrowed your gaze at Max who snickered underneath her hand. 

“Nothing,” You mumbled, shying away from everyone’s gaze on you. 

“Good thing, we can always ask the other party, too,” Dustin chimed in with a smirk, head pointing toward behind you. 

There was a slow tap on your shoulder and you were quick to jerk your body around. 

Of course.

Eddie. 

His soft gaze was dumbly addicting, that boyish grin curled deliciously on his lips while amber eyes took you in wholly. 

His gaze wandered to your figure, the midnight blue dress embracing your figure, accentuating your curves, its hem grazed against your mid-thigh, allowing him to get a glimpse of your sun-kissed legs, simple but exuding how breathtakingly pretty you were. 

He couldn’t place why your brows were so tightly pinched together, or why your arms were crossed against your chest, plump lips downturned with a pout. Still, you looked so pretty, so alluring that he could barely form any sentence. 

Mind captured entirely by you, almost feeling paralyzed while he took you in. 

“H—hey!” He stammered, awkwardly putting his hands in the back pocket of his chained black jeans. He was just him, and oh, god, you were you. 

Plush lips that curled into the prettiest smile, the most captivating eyes, even when you seemingly looked upset, brows pinched together, those glossy lips downturned, you were perfect. 

You ignored Eddie’s greeting, your piercing glare was still not that noticeable to him, all he could think about was how beautiful you looked, and how he was glad that he saw you before his set. He wanted nothing more than to see you watching him perform the songs he wrote all about you. 

“Wow… Uhh—you look… amazing,” He mumbled, breath getting hitched on his throat when he saw your unreadable expression. 

And all you could do was give him a tight-lipped smile. Almost immediately wiping that glow off of his face, face going momentarily blank. 

But he should’ve expected this, he knew you wouldn’t jump into his arms at any opportunity, he deserved this. He needed to do more, he needed to win you back. 

He opened his mouth to speak, desperate, needing your approval, but you interrupted. “I—I’m going to get a drink,” you mumbled, face flushed with heat, you didn’t know how to act either. 

Eddie glanced over at the tray of drinks on the booth, with his head tilted, “there’s a bunch of drinks over there,” he mumbled, he didn’t want you to leave. 

“I can see that, but I still want my own,” you sassed with a narrowed gaze, not letting him talk back once you left to go to the bar. 

Eddie watched your figure leave with a deep sigh, turning to the booth to take one of the drinks. “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

“Yup,” Steve muttered with a nod, and Eddie was quick to give him a death glare. 

“So, will you finally enlighten us on what happened with you and Mrs. Grumpy over there?” Dustin huffed impatiently, grabbing three drinks from the tray now that you were gone, handing the other two to Max and Lucas with a grin.  

“She didn’t tell you guys?” 

“No! Which is a shame because she usually can’t say no to my adorable face.” Dustin blinked quickly, batting his eyelashes while Eddie shook his head at him with a chuckle. 

“Oh c’mon, Eddie, just tell us!” Max let out an impatient huff, her captivating icy blue gaze was pleading in a way that he could never say no to.

These doofuses would always be his weakness. 

“Yeah, Eddie, pretty please?” Lucas added exaggeratedly, mocking Max as she hit him in the chest playfully. 

“Fine, fine!” He sighed, running his hand over his forehead in frustration.  

“But nothing really happened and I don’t think it’s—” When he felt everyone’s gaze piercing through him, he was quick to shut up.  “Okay, okay!” He huffed.  

“She came to my trailer guns ablaze and then just slammed the note against my chest, calling me a coward, and then I told her off—”

“Wait what?” Max was quick to interrupt him, brows pinching together. 

“Yeah, I told her I wasn’t the one who left.”

“Uh, I’m sorry, didn’t you kiss Chrissy in front of her?” Max taunted.

“Yeah, and did you not bring her to Steve’s?” Dustin added. 

With a huff, he turned back to Steve. “Jesus, Harrington, did you gang up all of them against me?” He just gave Eddie a shrug. 

“That’s not even the point! Everything has just become too convoluted with us,” He spat, anger returning quicker than you intended to, while the rest of the gang sipped their drinks with an ‘oof’.

“It’s not convoluted, just tell her how you feel!” Max inquired, gently, almost like she was trying not to tip him off. 

“I—” He took a deep breath. I will. He wished to say, but saying it out loud felt too real. And you were right, he was a coward.

“I’m gonna properly apologize and make things right by her,” he muttered, taking a big sip from his drink. 

“You better hurry up, rockstar,” Steve taunted smugly, the weird face he pulled was making crinkles appear on Eddie’s forehead.

Eddie’s head cocked toward Steve, aggressively. “You better tell her how sorry you fucking are.”

With an all-knowing snort, Steve’s finger accusingly pointed towards something behind him. “Or someone else might swoop in.” 

“Fuck off, Harrington,” Eddie mumbled, rolling his eyes before he turned around with a huff. 

Oh, shit. 

Everyone’s gaze turned toward Steve’s accusatory finger, a slight ‘shit’ escaping from Robin’s lips which Nancy elbowed gently to shut her up. 

Eddie could barely move, his entire face feeling hot and jaw clenching involuntarily, jealousy shooting through him faster than the alcohol swimming in his system. 

Because there you stood, in front of the bar, with your head tilted sideways, a pretty grin sitting on your lips, mellow gaze looking up at the guy in front of you—dirty blonde, hair cut shorter than Eddie’s but almost as long as Steve’s, wearing the most expensive and tidy outfit Eddie had ever seen—making him feel stupid for choosing to wear those black chained jeans. 

His scowl was anything but pretty, brows furrowing in a way that made him look like a complex puzzle, eyeing the way this stranger was touching you. 

“Oh, isn’t that—” Robin spoke up, and the entire table shushed her because they also realized exactly who that was. 

James.

Your ex, not Billy, of course, the other douchebag before Billy. 

He really wasn’t much of a douchebag, a genuine, nice guy, and to make matters worse he was a total gentleman; attributes Eddie would never call a typical high school Jock. 

The relationship only ended because he went to college one too many states away, the distance getting between the two of you, but Eddie always referred to him as ‘the douchebag’ The jealous feeling sunk into his chest even then. 

Rich kid, a jock in high school, older than both of you, someone who had his life together. Everything that Eddie never was. Everything Eddie always wished to be.

But now, seeing you with him made something almost click in Eddie’s head, like he was meant for you as he suited you much better than Eddie ever would. 

He could treat you much better than Eddie would, sure Eddie had his name now, the riches he never had back in high school. But he was still just Eddie.

And he was certain James never kissed Chrissy, he’d never fuck up like Eddie did.

He watched the way your eyes lit up when he was animatedly talking, his gentle touch on your arm, the smile that curled on your lips. 

What if he asked for your number? What if he wanted to reconnect? What if you said yes? Just because Eddie had been a total fucking idiot and couldn’t see what was right in front of him? 

He tried so hard to push the idea of the two of you together back into his mind. To make sure it never left, to make sure it never manifested. 

But the way his jaw clenched and the deadly glare burning through both of you showed that he couldn’t. 

He was jealous, a type of jealousy that quickly translated into anger, one he could almost feel on his skin, hot and prickling rage stabbing into his body, agonizingly slow, making it harder for him to stay glued there and not do anything the more he eyed the hold James had on you. He was standing too close for Eddie’s liking. 

Usually, he’d let this feeling sink back into his mind, take a breather, smoke a couple of cigarettes, and then act like nothing was wrong for the rest of the night while he spent it sulking. Keep that rage caged in his chest, so he could keep his feelings contained. 

But he couldn’t do that this time, no. He wasn’t going to be stupid enough to let you slip through his fingers, not again. He was going to fight for you, he was going to show you that you belonged with him. 

No matter what Mr. Fancy Pants could offer to you, he needed to tell you how he really felt, he needed to make sure you knew. Because even if he could feel the insecurities jabbing into his brain, he always knew, deep down that there was something there between the two of you. Something always left undiscovered because both of you were cowards.

He couldn’t let that happen again, he wasn’t going to go down without a fight. 

“Oh, I get the appeal now,” Max murmured, breaking the silence between everyone, and earning a hard glare from Eddie. 

“What? He seems nice, has pretty hair, much better than Steve’s, and that outfit probably cost more than your wedding,” Max spoke bluntly, now earning more than just the hard glare of Eddie, mouth hung open Steve looked offended, Nancy and Jonathan narrowed their gaze, but Robin snickered behind her hand, almost giving Max her approval. 

“Max!” Lucas reacted before them and Max furrowed her brows, a smirk earning her way to her lips. “You’re still my number one Lucas, don’t worry,” She hummed, pinching Lucas’ cheek and ignoring Dustin’s groan.

“Dude, why would you do that?” Dustin whispered, eyeing Eddie worriedly while nudging Steve by his jacket. 

With a dramatic huff, Steve pulled his collar back, “Relax, I know what I’m doing.” 

Eddie’s fingertips absentmindedly traced the rim of the glass in front of him, his eyes never leaving the two of you when he downed the drink, slamming it back on the booth, making everyone flinch. 

“I’ll be right back,” Eddie muttered, a forced chuckle escaping his lips. 

“What are you even going to do?” Robin inquired, almost mocking.

A smirk landed on Eddie’s face. “I’m not going down without a fight, Buckley.” 

“Not this fucking time,” he hissed, almost all the brows of the gang raising at his determination.

“I’m gonna tell her how I feel, and I’m not letting another douchebag ruin this,” Eddie mumbled, and a dumb smirk was placed on everyone’s face almost too quickly.

He was going for it, and the soap opera was continuing, the gang watched in excitement.

“Was he ever really a doucheba—” Dustin’s worries were quick to die down when he threw him a deadly glare.

Without another word, he stormed off to the side of the bar. Quick, too fucking quickly that it almost gave him a whiplash. He didn’t know what had taken over him, eyes burning the back of their figures as everyone else at the table watched him with a proud look. 

But the child-like jealousy he felt within his body was uncontainable, it felt like his face was almost too hot to touch, he was desperate, quite literally. 

The tap on James’ shoulder was anything but gentle, making him turn to Eddie with his pair of brows furrowed, and Eddie’s muscles were quick to tense. 

His dark gaze only softened when he looked back at you, muscles relaxing, and creased brows returning to their normal form. 

The jealousy eased inside of him, not dissipating quite enough, but slowing with one gaze from you.

Back in the booth, with another sip from his drink, Lucas huffed, “Five bucks says they’ll confess by tonight.” 

Robin was quick to snort at him, “You’re trusting them too much, kid, Steve’s ‘little push’ might help them,” She mumbled with a roll of her eyes. “But Jesus fucking Christ, just look at her face, she’s going to go off at him. The most they’ll probably do is have another fight, get just a little bit close to talking about their feelings, and then do it all over again.”

Steve, ignoring Robin’s theories, exclaimed with a smirk. “Ten bucks that Pinky will sleep with Eddie tonight!”

“I second that,” Max said with a grin.

“Steve!” Nancy warned with a disapproving tut. 

“What?” He huffed. 

“They’re kids!”

“We’re nineteen!” Max groaned. 

“I turn twenty next month!” Dustin chimed in. 

“Still!”

“Fine, fine!” Steve sighed with a glare at Nancy, “Then ten bucks that they’ll kiss tonight!” 

“No fucking way.” Robin shook her head. 

“Nah, they’ll at least kiss tonight,” Jonathan said with crossed arms. 

“Are you guys seriously betting on our friends?” Nancy said with a furrowed brow. 

They all nodded vigorously, “Fine,” Nancy muttered. 

“Then I second Steve, ten bucks for them sle-kissing.” Nancy corrected herself, earning a wicked grin from Steve. 

“Come on!” Robin groaned, dissatisfied by Nancy’s answer. 

“I agree with Robin,” said Dustin with a shrug.

“Finally!” Robin exclaimed, hands rubbing together in victory. “Someone with common sense. There’s no way those idiots are going to do anything but fight, just watch her come back here, all fuming about how much she hates Eddie.”

They all shrugged, going back to continue watching the soap opera unravel in front of them. 

“James!” Eddie greeted with faux excitement, a grin playing on his lips, amber gaze remaining on you. With your brows creased, ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ you mouthed behind their awkward hug.

He shrugged, and his hands clutched James’ shoulder harshly, making him chuckle awkwardly. “Munson, the man of the hour!” He greeted him with a beaming smile.

He really was too nice for his own good, wasn’t he?

“I’d ask what you were up to, but it seems you’ve been doing just fine, rockstar,” James exclaimed, returning a friendly slap to Eddie on his shoulder—in a much nicer way than Eddie intended with his.

You smiled uncomfortably, your gaze still throwing daggers at Eddie, who was actively avoiding it. “I have to say that last album? Fucking Christ, had it playing over and over again for days.” He beamed again, much to both of your dismay.

That all-knowing smirk on Eddie’s face disappeared, the unexpected compliment seemed to make him uncomfortable, conflicting with the defensive walls he had put up.

“Uhh—thanks man,” he chuckled awkwardly, casting a quick, scrutinizing glance at you, catching the small smirk on your lips.

“What have you been up to?” He asked, curiously, desperate to know what the two of you were talking about, nervous to see if the two of you would do anything more than this.

The confidence in the way James held himself, his slicked hair, his fancy outfits up close, Eddie’s insecurities washed him over once again. Now with that part of his brain convincing him that the two of you would somehow end up together again.

“Oh, you know, I was just in town, got a nice job here, thought I’d stop by to see Corroded Coffin play, been seeing the posters everywhere—great marketing by the way,” He hummed, flashing Eddie a smile. 

And Eddie returned a forced one, lips pursed together in annoyance. “and then I thought I’d get a drink, but then I heard this familiar voice next to me, yelling to the guy next to her to fuck off for attempting to steal her drink, and I thought oh that’s Pinky.” Eddie couldn’t help but not keep his gaze on you, studying your features, almost gauging your reaction, trying to nitpick something to fuel his jealousy. 

“Been a long time, but I’d never miss this one’s sassy voice and that pretty face,” He mumbled with a sly smirk, making Eddie’s face scrunch and almost making him scoff out loudly. 

“Oh, stop it!” You mumbled with a smile, all flattered, and Eddie’s gaze narrowed, jealousy overtaking him again. 

“So you two are… reconnecting for the old times' sake, huh?” Eddie asked through gritted teeth and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“Eddie—”

With a smile, James turned to you, “I mean I’d love to grab a drink, are you free tomorrow?”

“Ah! I wish I could, but I need to help Nancy out with some wedding stuff.”

“How about next wee—”

“She’s busy,” Eddie interjected quickly. 

“Eddie!” You warned with your brows raised, heat rising to your cheeks, what the fuck was he doing? 

“Can I just—steal you away for a minute?” Eddie turned to you with his jealous gaze, hand gently having a hold on your arm. 

“Oh, sure, man!” 

“No!” You and James exclaimed in unison. 

James stared at the two of you with his brows furrowed, both of you breathing heavily, an intense gaze connecting the two of you. With a sigh, you followed him out of the crowd, an apologetic smile thrown toward James. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

You scoffed, “Me? What the hell are you doing, Eddie?” You snapped, naze garrowing. 

“I’m not locking lips with James that’s for sure!”

“Jesus Christ I was not locking lips with—” You halted abruptly, the absurdity of the sentence hitting you like a wave. Taking a moment to breathe, “What are you a child?”

“Well, if pointing out the obvious means I’m a child then so fucking be it!” The words tumbled out of his mouth harshly, almost lost in the din of the bar. 

“The obvious? Do I need to remind you that you were the one who kissed Chrissy?” You accused sharply, your anger returning and cutting through Eddie’s jealousy like a knife. 

“Look, I—I’m genuinely sorry for that, Pinky, I am. I should’ve never done that, it was a mistake—” His voice strained, getting lost amidst the background clamor, their set was about to start and Eddie could careless. 

He took a step closer, but you didn’t budge. “You don’t kiss someone as a mistake, Eddie! You don’t invite them to brunch as a fucking mistake!” You snapped, tone a poignant mix of bitterness, jealousy, and an equal amount of hurt. Teary yet ablaze gaze bored into Eddie's, breaking his heart more and more. 

His shoulders sagged under the weight of your words, the realization of the irreparable damage sinking in. 

He took a step closer, a desperate attempt to bridge the emotional gap.“Will you just listen to me?” Eddie's plea hung in the air, the room seemingly shrinking as you and Eddie’s gaze connected. Your breaths mingled, heavy with unspoken words that pulsed between you. 

Only inches apart, and you couldn’t help it when your gaze drooped down to his lips, then back to his mellow eyes.

“Eddie, this is the fifth fucking time they’ve been calling you.” Gareth’s irritating voice snapped the conversation, loud enough to have you almost jump back, as you threw Gareth a daggering gaze. 

“Just fucking wait for a second,” Eddie spat, trying to dismiss him, but the moment was gone. 

And Gareth wasn’t having it. “No way, dude we go on in like five minutes,” He scoffed, momentarily dragging Eddie by his arm.  

“Fine, fine!” Eddie scowled, shaking off the hold.  

“You should uh— go.” 

“Let me explain,” He almost begged, desperate. 

But with another dismissal, you left. 

Eddie wanted to drop everything and run to you, apologize, tell you what he felt, but somehow, some way he was always managing to fuck up the things between the two of you, now. 

It was like he was fourteen again, his dad letting him know that he always managed to fuck up something good, that he was destined to the Munson name. Like he could never manage to do something right.

Wayne, Jonathan, Corroded Coffin, and Nancy all changed that belief. 

But, you? Oh, god, you made him believe that he was good, you pulled him out of that darkness, you were the first one to believe in him, you were the one who encouraged him. You made him feel like he was on the right path, always. 

And you were the one who mattered, if he didn’t have you believing that now, what else did he have? 

With a hand on his shoulder, Jeff was dragging him back, he stared at your figure leaving, and with a sigh, he headed backstage. 

-

Aurora was the fifth song they sang, and it should’ve gotten to you, the way his gaze didn’t leave yours, how vulnerable he sounded, the way he barely even made eye contact with the guitar he was supposed to be focusing on, that should’ve gotten to you. 

But it didn’t. 

Your glossy gaze and your crossed arms, as everyone else around you cheered for him, did nothing but upset you more and more. 

Everything was so confusing that you couldn’t even make sense of yourself anymore. Yes, you were mad about everything with Chrissy, but you also knew he didn’t know everything that transpired between you and her. 

Chrissy and Billy should’ve been enough for him to not want anything to do with her, yet you still believed him when he told you it was a mistake, that he would’ve never done it if he knew. And the pool… the things he said in the car. Hours ago when you went to his trailer.

Sure, he was sorry, and he said he’d prove himself to you. 

But none of you ever out loud said anything, it had always been a cowardice dance around your feelings, and you were afraid that if this dance ended, then it would be all too real. It would all be over.

A heave of breath exited your lips, attempting to drown away the worries, but they were spiked up the second the song ended and Eddie spoke up again. 

“This next song is for my friends over there, Nancy and Jonathan,” He exclaimed with a grin, finger excitedly pointing towards the two of them, it was the first time his gaze had left yours, involuntarily your head turned to your right. 

“They’re getting married this weekend, and were kind enough to let me and my dipshit friends play,” He said with a sheepish grin, and Nancy and Jonathan shyly smiled at him, waving him off in a dismissive way, 

“So this is for the soon-to-be newlywed couple, and for the special girl next to them, who’s mad at me for a lot of reasons, and she has every right to be, I was a total ass.” He earned chuckles and some cheering from the crowd, who unintentionally all faced you. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but hey, maybe this might help my case, huh?” He said with a grin, his gaze was dangerously addicting, full of promises, and you couldn’t help the way it made stupid butterflies appear in your stomach. 

It was so easy for him to get you like this, you were starting to feel pathetic. 

Speechless, and the heat quick to rise to your cheeks, you were trying to ignore the whispers and stares from the crowd, but it was basically impossible. 

The opening chords were enough to rattle your memory, the dreamy guitar riffs from Eddie sweeping in echoing the space as if it was just the two of you. 

You knew exactly which song he was playing. 

And the vocals, added with Eddie’s smooth, sultry voice were enough to have your heartbeat raising making you almost feel small, haziness overtaking your mind. 

And it only brought back one memory to your mind. 

FIVE YEARS AGO.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA.

Another job interview, another opportunity you feel like you have missed.

It hadn’t been long since the two of you had arrived in Los Angeles, yet every passing minute felt like you had been wasting away your time, you needed a job, and no one in stupid LA was hiring you. 

A groan escaped your lips when you plopped yourself onto the couch, right next to Eddie who was way too into scribbling something into a notebook. 

Wait… was he using the…? 

“Is that… the notebook?” Your eyes lit up happily. It was such a small, stupid thing. 

But for you, it was important. That notebook was important. And you never actually thought he’d care about it, but it looked like he was carrying it in his back pocket. 

“Is that a crime?” Eddie sassed.

With a scoff, you narrowed your gaze. “No, doofus! I just didn’t think you’d actually use it.” 

Almost taken aback Eddie sat up straight on the couch, knees brushing against yours now. “Are you kidding? Half of this bad boy is filled with lyrics.”

“What is the other half made of?” You asked with a dangerous grin. 

“You’d have to kill me to find out.” Eddie enunciated dramatically, tone drooping lower to mimic mystery. 

“Oh, come on!” You huffed, curiosity getting the best of you. Scooting closer to him, you pouted. “Can’t you at least give me something?” You asked, all doe-eyed, tone sticky sweet, in a way that always got to Eddie. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” He groaned, almost melting into you, “You know I’ll give you anything if you ask that sweetly.”

You grinned happily, clapping your hands together in victory once he ripped up a page and handed it to you. 

“That is the chorus of a song I’m working on,” He mumbled, eyes nervously following you, waiting to read your reaction.

She's thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She's thunderstorms

Your eyes blinked quickly to process everything. It had been not too long since the both of you had come to L.A., Eddie was desperately trying to send the band’s best material to any label who was willing to sign them. 

And you had just gotten out of a horrible relationship, things had not been steady enough for the two of you to ever discuss anything about your feelings, always tip-toeing around it, but too scared to ever actually delve into it. 

Yet, you could tell this was about you, something about being described as thunderstorms stuck to your mind, maybe he somehow meant it as good. But all it reminded you of was destruction. And he wasn’t wrong. 

It was like everywhere you went, something horrible followed, exactly like a dark cloud looming over, waiting to strike anyone daring to be near you. 

Your hand flew to your mouth, teeth grazing through your nails anxiously. “Who’s this thunderstorm girl?” You asked, masking your nervousness with a brittle smile. 

He snatched the notebook back, ignoring your little huff. “Someone I went to school with,” He answered cooly and then leaned further into your face with a grin. “I was drivin’ around one day, then saw this girl’s car on the side of the road, to be nice I helped fix her car but then she became totally obsessed with me.” He recalled the first time he met you, animatedly.

“Oh, is that so?” 

“Yeah, didn’t leave me alone for years.”

With a narrowed gaze, “Asshole,” you bantered.

“That’s so weird,” He hummed with a smirk “That was her favorite nickname for me,” quipped Eddie and you stuck your tongue at him childishly. 

With a slight push on his elbow, he drew closer to you. “So… what did you think?” He coaxed nervously, you could tell it was important to him, yet being this close was making your mind spin. 

“I like it,” you muttered, unable to face his beautiful features when he was so close, and your mind spinning with the fact that Eddie thought of you as destructive, too.

“That’s it? You… just like it?”

“No that’s not it, it’s just—” With a sigh you snatched back the notebook from his hands. “It’s just… isn’t this bad?” 

“What?” His brows creased together in worry, “W-which one did you not like I can change it-” You shook your head, interrupting his anxious ramble.

“No! I love all of them! But describing… uh—this girl,” Tip-toeing around it, causing Eddie to smirk. “As thunderstorms? Isn’t that bad?” 

“No, not at all. It’s a metaphor.” He shook his head, explaining gently.

“She embodies the essence of thunderstorms—unpredictable and explosive. She has the power to create chaos and destruction, and on the surface that might sound bad, yet within that destruction she sparks a new life. You know, making it so much better,” He hummed, licking his lips.  

“And she also feels like a thunderstorm, intense and electrifying, shaking up your life, in the best way possible.”

“Oh. Wow,” You mumbled, gaze turning mellow with how well he explained everything, heart melting with how he saw you, not just from the surface, like he could peel the intricate layers of your existence, appreciating every part of it. 

“Uhh, then I love that actually,” you concluded with a smile, attempting to mask the fluttering in your stomach. Did he really see you in that way? 

Did he really see you as someone worth all of this? You tried to ignore the tears prickling in your eyes, begging to pour out, but you weren’t going to ruin this moment. 

You didn’t deserve him. In the slightest. He didn’t deserve to get caught up in your bullshit. You shouldn’t have dragged him here. You were being selfish, but, god, did it feel good. 

To finally feel safe, to finally have someone take care of you, to finally have someone you could rely on. After everything, didn’t you at least deserve to be a little selfish? 

But that feeling ate away at you, even though you shook it off for the moment, it was eventually going to return. And it did. 

“You do?” His brows raised in surprise, it made you want to fuck all and just grab his cheeks and kiss him, lips plush together until the two of you couldn’t breathe. 

But you couldn’t afford that, you couldn’t afford the feelings, nor could you afford the fallout. You couldn’t lose him. 

“Mhmm,” You answered with a broken smile, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He always did.  

“She sounds special.”

“She is,” Eddie agreed, eyeing you with a worried look. “Very, very special,” He repeated, he could tell something was off. 

But it was okay, because he was here for you now, and he wasn’t going to leave. 

NOW:

Suddenly the room felt suffocating. 

Eddie’s gaze on you felt mocking.

It was stupid, he had just dedicated the song to you, yet all your mind could focus on was everything bad that had happened. Ruining everything good that happened with him. 

How were you even going to be with him if you couldn’t even handle this?  

Fear, trust issues, being afraid of not knowing how things were going to go, if you would fuck this up too, then that was it for you. No one else could compare, and you knew that. 

Maybe if you just knew that the same went for Eddie, if you just could see that the five years you spent apart had been just as hell-ish for him if not more. The constant thoughts in his mind reminded him that he could never be over you, truly. Sure, it hurt less now, but the scar was still there, scabbing the second someone mentioned you. The realization of knowing no one could ever be you etched onto his skin. 

“Hey… you okay?” Steve’s concerned voice snapped you out of your thoughts, Eddie’s voice served as a background noise while his gaze was still stuck on you. 

“Y-yeah, I just—” You faltered, face growing numb and anxiety increasing when you suddenly needed some air. 

Too much, all of it was too much. 

Eddie could almost sense it, he grew worried at your frowny brows and your tear-streaked gaze. 

“I’ll be right back,” you mumbled, body jerking back scurrying out quickly when you ignored everyone calling out for your name. 

Eddie’s vocals almost halted, missing a few notes on the guitar before Gareth was quick to snap him back to it. 

His head cocked toward your direction, desperate, nearly begging to stop the show, but all of them shook their head quickly, and once Eddie turned back to see the look on Jonathan and Nancy’s face, he realized he couldn’t do this to them. 

This was his friends' wedding, and he owed this to them. When the song ended, he was quick to mouth to the others, “After the next song, we’re taking a break.” It wasn’t a request, it was final.

And frankly, the rest of them were too tired out to even argue with a hot-headed Eddie.

“So how is your plan working, dingus?” Robin jeered at Steve.

“Shut up.”

There were a couple more people outside, all leaning against the wall, chuckling while talking over each other loudly, the smoke of their lit cigarettes quick to take over your senses. 

With a cough, you leaned further away from them, mind still unraveling what had just happened. You didn’t even know what was happening anymore. 

You wanted to smoke, hand itched to reach for the pocket of your jacket and light one to take away your stress, but you could barely breathe as it was right now. 

A light tap on your shoulder snapped you away from your thoughts. 

Who was it now? 

You huffed loudly when your head cocked back.

Fucking great. 

Chrissy.

“Oh, Jesus Christ!” You pinched the bridge of your nose in annoyance, this just had to be your luck, your feet picked up quickly, hand quick to reach for the door and go back inside.

“Please, please don’t leave,” She pleaded.

Your hold on the door remained, barely glancing back at her, “Just leave me alone!” You snapped. 

“I just want to apologize, please, then I’ll leave you alone, forever.”

“Please, just five minutes.”

You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t. 

Your hold on the door faltered, and with a deep sigh, you turned to her. “Fine.”

“Five minutes,” You warned, your patience already wearing thin.  

Her face lit up, blinking a few times to make sure she heard you correctly. “O-oh, okay, good,” She cleared her throat.

“First of all, I’m sorry, for everything, for what I said five years ago, for what I did with Billy, for using what he did to you like a fucking joke. For w-what I said about your parents.” She stammered.

“It’s too late, I know, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have done any of those things, you didn’t deserve it. You deserved a better friend, someone like you.” She almost looked at you like she was waiting for your approval, gauging your reaction, your expressionless face encouraged her to continue. 

“I was bitter, jealous. Which isn’t a fucking excuse, I know, I was just—” she took a deep breath. “You were everything I wanted to be, careless, had all the boys' attention, and you didn’t even have to try, you didn’t have to do anything, and they’d just fall at your feet. And I was stupid, bitter, and insecure enough to envy that.”

“That’s not my problem, Chrissy.” You spat out with your gaze narrowing, you couldn’t handle her pity party right now.

“And really, you wanted to be me? Chrissy I didn’t have parents, my boyfriend was a narcissistic asshole.I was broke.” You scoffed with an ironic chuckle, shaking your head in anger.

“I know, I know. It was stupid, and I was stupid, and you didn’t deserve any of that.” Sincerity. Something you haven’t seen from her in years.

“I just wanted to tell you that none of it was your fault.” Now your gaze narrowed, a chuckle rolling on your lips. 

You opened your mouth to speak, to protest. “No, I know you’re going to say you didn’t think that but I know you do. Even though you hate me, which I don’t blame you, I know you like the back of my hand, you blame yourself, you always did it. And I’m telling you shouldn’t because it was all my fault. A-and I shouldn’t have done whatever I did with Eddie, I practically took advantage of him like he did to me and then got mad at him, oh god, I’m such a fucking bitch, aren’t I?”

Your eyes blinked quickly to process all of it. Her apology didn’t mean anything, her words didn’t mean anything. But deep down, you knew she was right, even if you wouldn’t admit it. Because you spent many nights blaming yourself, for even opening up to them in the first place. 

“First of all, breathe,” you mumbled with annoyance.  

“Second of all, yes you are,” you huffed. 

“And, taking advantage? What do you mean?” 

“Some fucked up part of me wanted him because I knew you wanted him back then, a-and he was right there and he was being nice to me and—” Chrissy took a deep sigh, big blue eyes staring into you knowing that you were not going to like what she was going to say.

“I should’ve known.”

With puckered brows, you crossed your arms against your chest. “Known what?” 

“That he was still hung up on you,” she muttered.

You were quick to roll your eyes, “Chrissy—”

“No, no just listen.” But she wasn’t going to let you spiral.

“Look you were dumb enough then—” You threw her a glare, so daggeringly cold that she stopped.  

“Sorry,” she muttered before continuing, “Look, the two of you wasted a lot of time. And I know it’s funny hearing this from me because I took part in it, but I’m only saying this because he’s a nice guy, even though I don’t particularly like him right now, he’s a nice guy, and you deserve someone like him.” She enunciated, azure hues embodying such sympathy that had you taken aback.

“You loved him back then, too. I could see it, and I could see it in him, too. That’s what I always wanted, and maybe that’s why he intrigued me so much. But I knew he never got over you.” 

You could feel your heart skip a beat, it wasn’t anything new, but hearing this from her, it meant something. 

You needed to take control of your feelings, and hearing Chrissy’s words was doing nothing but fuel them more. “Chrissy stop—”

“No, Pinky! He told me! He told me it was you! It had always been you!” She exclaimed, her face growing a nice pink color as you stood frozen.

Your brain felt mushy, rest of your body felt so warm, but still that anger lingered. Why couldn’t he just tell you this? Why couldn’t he just show you?

“What?” You mumbled, brows pinched together.

“Yes!” She exclaimed, sighing at your reaction.

“Look, I just wanted to tell you this, and tell you to get your head out of your ass. I know I’m the last person you wanted to hear this from, but I had to at least make one thing right for you because I know I fucked up every other thing.”

You wanted to tell her to stay the fuck out of it, you wanted to tell her it was all because of her. That she basically ruined your life. But it wasn’t true. It wasn’t all her, it was Billy, too. It wasn’t all her, Eddie played a part in it, too. 

But you weren’t going to waste your breath, you didn’t need to blow up in her face for her to know she was wrong, she needed to let that feeling sink in. You weren’t going to forgive her, and you didn’t need to make a fuss about it to feel real. 

This was it. A closure. 

“I’m sorry, for everything. And I know that you won’t forgive me, but that’s okay. I’m sorry, but please listen to what I just said. Please don’t get in your head and try to ruin something this perfect, okay?”

A peaceful smile appeared on your lips, and you took a deep breath. “You’re right, I won’t forgive you.” You weren’t going to give her any satisfaction or approval, her words didn’t mean a thing. 

“Goodbye, Chrissy.” You mumbled. 

You could see her stammering, struggling to open her mouth, because she couldn’t say anything else, and this is what she promised, five minutes. It was over. 

You backed yourself against the wall, fingers fishing out the pack of cigarettes sitting in the pocket of your jacket. 

Without having anything else left to say, she left. And you heaved a sigh of breath, the tip of your cigarette smoldering when you lit it. 

You inhaled with eyes squeezed shut, head swirling with much to think about. But at least you were alone. Finally, some space for you to think, and to lay out a little bit of your stress with the most unhealthy outlet.  

And of course, that peace lasted for about a few minutes, just when you had finished your cigarette, squishing the remains on the nearest trashcan, Eddie appeared, lightly squeezing your arm to have your attention.

“What?” You snapped when you saw him, eyeing the way he looked taken aback. 

His hands held up in front of his chest in defeat, clearly not understanding your sudden rage. The laughter around you had died, people who were smoking outside the bar were clearly more entertained by your drama. 

With a huff, you dragged Eddie away from it all, still close to the bar but far away to not have any other distractions. 

He sighed, brows etched with worry. “Why did you leave?”

Your hand flew to your forehead, trying to calm your nerves, trying to clear your mind. “Eddie, are you kidding me?” You scoffed, arms wrapped across your chest defensively. “You can’t just drag me away from James, dedicate songs to me and—”

His forehead puckered. “Why not? They’re all about you anyway,” he said with a sly smirk. 

“Aurora, She’s Thunderstorms, Zero, Forget Her, Resolve, Fool, two fucking albums, all dedicated to you, you know that.”

“These notes? These stupid notes I’ve been carrying?” He huffed loudly, hand quick to fish inside of his back pocket, aggressively flipping through the pages. “Even if every nerve in my body were numb I’d still be able to feel her.” He turned the page toward you before flipping again. 

“I have tried to forget you but I can’t, you invade my dreams, my mind, my whole fucking life. You’re stuck in me and I don’t have the heart to get you out.” He shook his head, reciting it all like it was nothing, but you felt all of it. 

His notes making you dizzy. His words scrambling your mind like never before. 

“She’s the tear that hangs inside my soul forever. That one is uh—in a song, too,” he mumbled, cheeks flushing with how passionate he was getting, and you held your breath, it’s like you were staring into his soul. 

Stark naked. Laying bare, he really was doing this. And you didn’t want him to stop, even though your mouth suggested otherwise. 

“And so much more embarrassing stuff that I don’t want to include to not ruin my chances,” he muttered with a lazy smile, and you hated that you could feel it in your skin, the flutters, stomach flipping in the best possible way. 

“All fucking about you. Because it was you, from the moment we met.”

“S—stop,” your mouth betrayed you, it was the furthest thing from the truth, and you needed to hear more. You needed the reassurance, you needed him to convince you. More than anything in the world. 

But it was all so scary, and he was so close to you that you could feel his passion integrated into your veins. 

“Why, Pinky, why should I stop? Why do we have to tip-toe around each other, huh?” He was desperate, eyes flashing with a newfound of desire for you, he wasn’t going to let it go this time.

And it scared you, him being this determined, getting so close to what you actually felt was making your skin crawl, because the way you could feel your heart thumping against your ribcage wasn’t normal. What he was making you feel wasn’t normal. “Because w—we can’t!”

“We can’t what?” He complained, a deep sigh escaping his lips. 

“W—we can’t do this, you can’t—”

He shook his head with his brows puckered. “Who are you to decide that? I want to, I so badly want to,” He spat, taking a step closer to you, face merely inches away from you. 

His gaze was dangerously inviting, those alluring amber eyes melted into yours, making your pupils dilate, breath hitching as you struggled to keep him away. “Please, Eddie, d—don’t.”

You gulped, hand raising to put a space between the two of you, but it was impossible. He was in your veins now. “Too much has happened, you with Chrissy and—” You didn’t even know what you were blabbering about, just anything to stop your feelings from getting out. 

“Chrissy was a mistake!” He retorted with a hiss. He hated that you saw Chrissy as a problem between the two of you. Yes, he fucked up, but it really was a mistake, he’d take it all back in a heartbeat if he could. 

Your gaze narrowed, that pettiness returned when you scoffed. “Which time, when you kissed her or when you brought her to brunch?”

Eddie let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head when he looked at you with a dumbfounded look. “Jesus fucking Christ…” He took a breather. “I can’t believe you’re doing that again,” he mumbled, realizing that it wasn’t going to be easy to get you out of this mindset. 

It was going to be hard, to convince you of anything, and he understood that, he had trust issues himself, but he wasn’t going to back down. This was it.

You crossed your arms against your chest, gaze avoiding him momentarily. “Doing what?” You muttered.

“You just— you get scared when things get serious, running away when it gets just even a little bit too real,” He scoffed, angling closer to you, fingers ruffling through his curls in frustration.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah! You call me a coward and fucking look at you!” He snapped, hands gesturingly pointing to you.

“Scrambling just at the thought of us being together.” He argued, some part of him feeling a bit insecure, that maybe you didn’t want this. But, no, he saw that glint in your eyes, he knew the little angry twitch on your lips. You felt the same. And all you needed was a little push. 

You breathed, mind scrambled and trying so hard to convince yourself to leave. “T—that’s not it, you—uh you just don’t get it!” You complained with a huff. 

Another step closer. One more step and his lips would be on yours, Eddie knew this, you knew this. His gaze momentarily drooped down to your lips, then back to your dilated pupils. 

“Then make me understand, let me help you, don’t fucking run, not this time.” It was a little jab, but something needed to get you to spill, he was playing all the right cards and you were getting overwhelmed.

“J—just stop!”

“Why? Fucking why? Tell me one good fucking reason as to why we shouldn’t try it, we never even gave it a chance!” He ranted, veins in his forehead popping with how much he was trying to keep it all together. And you weren’t even trying. 

“We wouldn’t work, okay?” 

He shook his head. “Not good enough,” He argued. 

“W—we’re on two different paths now, Eddie.” You didn’t have any good excuses, he was right. 

“Not good enough.” Once again, that same arguing tone. 

You huffed. “Too much time passed and—”

“Not fucking good enough!” He cursed, hands landing on your shoulder to keep you in place, and your cheeks flushed immediately, while still trying to deny it. You were pathetic.

“Stop being a fucking coward!” He seethed, eyes fiery and red. 

Why were you insisting on being so fucking stubborn? You were driving him crazy, yet it wasn’t going to stop him. 

Coward is what had you scrambling. Because you knew he was right. “Fuck you,” You spat, body jerking quickly to leave, feet picking up quickly as Eddie groaned loudly.

So. Fucking. Stubborn. 

He was quick on his feet, letting curses slip past his lips before he yanked you to him, earning a small gasp from your lips before you finally faced him. 

Gaze mellow, but just as fiery, your furrowed brows and dilated pupils only encouraging him more and more. Flutters in your stomach had never left, your skin was burning, everywhere, but specifically on the hold he had on you. 

You didn’t manage to utter anything else, you couldn’t because he had you this time. There was no running away from it, your heart was hammering so hard inside of your chest that you were sure he could hear it. 

His hold on your arm was firm but somehow gentle, letting you know that he wasn’t going to let you go.

You opened your mouth, wanting to speak, but he interrupted, his hands now firmly cupping your cheeks, squishing you with force, and you couldn’t help the contended sigh that left your parted lips. “I’m not letting you run away, not this time,” He mumbled, words sounding like silk falling from his lips, all you could do was gaze into him. He stood inches away from you, breath fanning against your face.

He licked his lips desperately, gaze drooping to your candy-glossed, needy lips. Face so close that you could feel the desperation radiating off of him. And you shared it. You managed to take a quick breath before his hand fisted your hair and his mouth crashed down to yours.

He pressed you harder against his chest, breathless, your lips molded together, a perfect fit. And he could taste the Cosmopolitan on your tongue, a tinge of alcohol mixed with your sweetness, making his head spin, a taste he realized he’d never have enough of. 

Those little thumps your heart did were now out of control, possibly pounding a million beats a second. His small stubble scratched against your chin, rough, it should’ve made you uncomfortable yet all it did was make you kiss him harder, shutting up your brain as your mouth replied to him, kissing him back with just as much force, you melted into him, melted into his hold, and you let him engulf you, fully, completely. 

Plushy lips slightly parted apart, his tongue slipped past between your teeth, your hand finding its way to his hair, feeling the curly strands between your fingers, it’s softer than you expected and your lips parted to let out a slight whine as you tugged at them.

All those years of wishing, all those years of wanting, yearning, and needing exploded into this. Kissing like your lives depended on it, chests pressed against each other, Eddie’s hand slipping to your waist, desperately tugging you closer to him as if that was even possible. 

Your heart exploded into your chest, his tongue not wavering the chance to explore yours, sucking on it, greedily, desperately. 

The background noises disappeared, the cackles of the girls, the booming music coming from inside of the bar, and the honks from the busy street. They ceased to exist and it was just you and him. Feeling each other, completely, fully. 

You knew at some point one of you had to pull away, but none of you dared to, it was just pure desire, a hunger that couldn’t be sated. 

All the years spent yearning and pining, acting like two fucking idiots. 

He wanted to breathe you, drink you in, and he wasn’t intent on letting you go. Ever.

You from five minutes ago who wanted to refuse him, refuse this was an absolute fucking idiot. Gone. You tasted like the sweetest honey and he tasted like everything you wanted and more. It’s even needier than the first kiss, more sure, it’s like a promise. 

This is it. Both of you can feel it. This finally changes everything. 

final authors note — uhhhh so yeah... if yall wanna talk about that my asks r open LMAO.

[ihopeiexplode]

📱 "Carnival Date" [←Previous | Next→]

—

"you still haven't told me where were going"

"you'll find out soon, we're almost there"

That's what he kept saying for the past 30 minutes the whole time he drove are you really getting kidnapped??

—

By the time you arrived, you saw it was a carnival, another thing you noticed was how crowded it was..what are the chances you'll get lost?...and Sukuna just happened to read your mind

"You're not gonna get lost, just stay close to me"

"Are you sure?"

"yes I'm sure, hold my hand or something"

"Ew I'm not doing that"

"you had no problem holding my hand when we watched that movie, if you're fine with getting lost be my guest"

"whatever let's just go."

—

In the end, you ended up holding hands anyway, to be fair he's the one who suggested it and grabbed your hand seeing how overwhelmed you looked around the crowd

But the one moment he looked away suddenly you were gone, he frantically looked around only to see you in front of some carnival game

"you wanna play?"

"obviously, I wanna win that stuff toy over there"

"move"

"what?"

"I said move, I'll win it for you"

Before you could protest, the carny would speak up

"looks like your boyfriend's gonna win it for you yeah?"

"he's not my boyfriend"

"Oh? You two looked like some cute couple, just friends then huh?"

"I guess you could say that,"

The whole time that conversation played off, Sukuna would wonder if you two would actually make a cute couple,

He would quickly snap out of his thoughts as the carny would hand over Sukuna some ping pong balls to throw

—

In the end, of course, he won that stupid stuffed animal you wanted, he'd hand it over to you before you two started to roam around to look at some things to do

"your not scared of rollercoasters are you?"

"uhm...I guess...?"

—

You felt like rethinking your answer the moment you two sat down on the rollercoaster

Sukuna could see how panicked you looked,

"can you stop panicking? You'll be fine"

"WHAT IF I FALL OFF"

"You wont, relax"

—

As the ride started he could see how you hadn't relaxed one bit, how could he enjoy the ride when you weren't enjoying it like He was?

He would sigh before grabbing your hand, which surprisingly helped calm you down,

—

He should've chosen something else, you somehow ended up vomiting the moment you got off, was it that bad of a first-time experience?

"let's just go to another ride..."

"How about a ferries wheel?"

—

Okay at least you were enjoying this one, he could see how your eyes lit up as you admired the view from above, maybe he'll try toning down the intense rides,

—

But this one was entirely your fault, how are you getting scared of people wearing costumes? Seriously this is the 8th time you've clung to his arm, but it's not like he minds

—

"out of all the places we could've been you just had to choose a carnival.."

"if I win whatever you want here will you stop complaining"

"buy me some food as well then I'll stop"

—

Maybe that's how you both ended up walking out of the carnival with him holding all the things he won for you..

—

—

[⛩️] @: Likes & Reblogs R appreciated! ^^

A/N: that angst is calling for me I need someone to hold me down, also congrats guys your friends now woohoo ‼️‼️💥

Taglist: @catobsessedlady @hellomeow12 @0-candlecove-0 @shivzypuff @swirlingcurses @1-800-choke-that-ho @attackonnat @chilichopsticks @getoxmahito @memenojutsu @uhnanix @ichorstainedskin @needtoloveoutloud @love-me-satoru @s-j320 @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @goj0ssunglasses @svtvrnal @haitanibros0007 @punkhazardlaw

[jeonqkooks]

jungkook #33 from the fluff list 💗 (even better if its like fboy badboy jungkook getting flustered and shy around oc hehe)

daft pretty boys | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

prompt: "i can't think around you."

rating: G

word count: 0.8k

genre/warnings: classmates to .. lovers?, college au, basketball captain!jk, he's neither a fuck boy nor a bad boy he's just a cute boy <3, fluff, swearing as per uzh, i plagiarized MYSELF bc the shit mentioned here was actually taken from my final paper for a film class two years ago lmaooooooo

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

If there's one thing that Jungkook absolutely despises, it's when people think jocks are dumb. It's a common misconception and it's downright hurtful sometimes; just because Jungkook is the basketball captain, doesn't mean that anybody has the right to assume he's got hay for brains.

However, if someone were to come up to him right now and say it to his face, he probably wouldn't disagree.

"So yeah, if they lose the memories of these relationships, I think they'd also be losing parts of themselves that make them whole, because an individual's identity is an accumulation of multiple smaller identities they have with every single intimate relationship that ultimately forms one collective identity, y'know?" you finish, and it's not until then that Jungkook comes back down to earth, realizing that he's just been staring at you this whole time. "Anyway, what do you think?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah! Same, uhm," Jungkook stammers. "I also thought about their collective relationsh- I mean, collective identity and multiple identities and-"

You purse your lips as you take in his whole demeanor, like a nervous child fumbling with his words. "Did you not watch the movie?"

He did watch the movie. In fact, Jungkook watched it three times over the weekend because that's how much he liked it. When he registered for this class - History of Popular Cinema - at the end of last semester, he was hoping that it'd be an easy elective so he could focus more on basketball and his core courses. And for the most part, this film class is easy. All he has to do is watch movies and hand in a few short essays every now and then. Piece of cake.

Then the final paper rolls around and the professor assigns everybody a partner to work with. In theory, it should still be a piece of cake, because there still isn't that much to do anyway.

So why is it so fucking hard all of a sudden?

Jungkook had never really noticed you before you became his designated collaborator for the month. Never saw you on campus, never saw you attending the games. Hell, he didn't even know your name until this final assignment.

"I watched it," he defends himself lamely.

"Okay. And?"

"It was good."

You frown, and all Jungkook can think about is how adorable that crease between your eyebrows is. How he just wants to reach across the table and smooth it over, or better yet, kiss it away.

He's fully aware of how stupid he must look, with his sweaty palms and his words falling over each other like goddamn Jenga pieces, in front of a girl that he's been obsessed with for weeks now. Jungkook doesn't normally do crushes, but the more time he spends with you to work on this lame ass paper, the more he finds his mind drifting to you even when you're not in his vicinity.

He thinks you're so pretty when you absentmindedly bite your lip whenever you're concentrating. He thinks you always smell like jasmine, and he's delighted by how your scent lingers on his own clothes after every time you meet, like he's carrying home a reminder of you. He thinks you're ten leagues smarter than him when you text him whole paragraphs detailing how postmodern filmmakers flirt with the concept of identity fragmentation through different types of cinematic manifestation as a reflection of the realistic postmodern person, because what the fuck does that even mean?

"You're not doing a very good job at convincing me you watched the movie," you say.

Jungkook groans internally - and a little externally too - as he runs a hand down his face. "I watched it, I promise," he tells you. "I watched it, and I really liked it. It made me think about a lot of deep shit that I don't normally think about."

"Uh huh," you say slowly. Your frown is still there, but now it's embedded in confusion as you try to understand his dilemma. "Then tell me about that. What was the deep shit?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

How is he supposed to explain that every single thought he had suddenly grew legs and yeeted itself out the window the second he saw you arrive today, wearing a stunning smile and a t-shirt that says Caution: Full of Shenanigans? Not once in his entire life had Jungkook felt so no thoughts, head empty.

"Because I can't think around you," he settles on being honest. "Because I keep thinking about you when you're not here, yet when you are, I can't even think at all."

It takes a minute for his words to sink into your brain, and Jungkook watches nervously as a blush spreads across your cheeks, so rosy that he just wants to grab your face and pepper kisses all over. For the first time since he has known you, you don't know how what to say.

The sight of you, rendered speechless by him being rendered an idiot, has Jungkook blushing too. Despite the patch of bashful silence that ensues, somewhere outside the metaphorical windows of his and your minds, both your thoughts are riding off into the sunset together, holding hands.

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 27.05.2023]

[potchi-fics]

3 am

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

3 am. you like this time of the day. why? it's that time where you don't get to talk to people, sure, you love your friends and all, but the serene of the night takes you another world. crickets and gentle breeze of the cold air as you walk outside.. my god, you love it all.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Bada shakes off the frustration, their plans clearly not working out and she needs to rewind-- she does, walking around the city during this time, like, how she's doing right now.

she takes in the quietness of the nature, the very foot of her shoes slightly grazing against the rough concrete, fatigue evident in her actions. looking down as she walks, she's snapped out of her trance when a body collided with hers.

"oh my god," the stranger worriedly exclaimed, "i'm so sorry, i wasn't looking where i was going.."

Bada, now looking up at the stranger, she felt the wind get knocked out of her. "it-it's okay... i wasn't looking either.."

she's so... pretty. that's the phrase that entered Bada's mind. she couldn't make out the strangers words as it sounds like muffled for her, she was so captivated. but before she could ask for her name, the stranger walked away from her.

she could only stared at the woman's back as she walks away. Bada shakes her head and continues walking until she reaches a playground.

a small smile forms on her tired face, reminiscing her memories when she was little-- oh, how the time sure flies by.

she takes a sit on the slide, even laying on her back, the cold surface of the slide making her shiver.

"you again?" a cheery voice from her right speaks, "what's gotten you think so deep? 'm y/n, by the way."

her neck snaps to y/n so fast, she swears it gave her a cramp but it if did, she sure as heck didn't feel it. getting captivated once more, she only stares at the mysterious woman.

"t-take-- uhm, take a sit." Bada nervously quips.

your presence somehow eases her, yet, at the same time, tenses her. she looks like a deer caught in the headlights with the way she's looking at you.

you throw your head back as laugh bubble in your chest, "i won't kill you, you know? especially not a cute girl like you."

"are you charming me?" the tips of Bada's ears are completely red, her cheeks flushing a bright red.

you reply cheekily, "are you? charmed, i mean.. 'cus if you are, i would ask you out for a date."

she rolls her eyes playfully at you before finally introducing herself as Bada, and from then on, your conversation lasted for more than an hour.

she opened up how she's a dancer and a choreographer, how she loves her job, and how she's struggling right now. of course, you gave her some advice that she took to mind-- you two shared a laugh, even a banter.. definitely cheering her up.

"i don't even know why i'm sharing all these to you.." Bada revealed hesitantly.

you give her a soft smile, her heart starting to beat faster again, "it's okay, always had an effect on people." even giving her a wink at the end of your sentence. "also, not going home yet?"

Bada could only shake her head and lean back again on the slide, not wanting to part ways from you so soon. "i don't want to yet.."

"then, wanna go grab ice cream with me?"

she can't control her mouth all of a sudden, "can i have your number first?"

✮⋆˙♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧🦭✧˖°

very short hehe. and thank you so much for liking my posts and reblogging them, means a lot to me !! ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

[krakenkakes]

OMORI OC/NPC DASHBOARD SIMULATOR (pt 1??)

idk we just did this for fun or whatever. the usernames were bitches to come up with iidc if they're trash atp ,, just sillying

🍞 bowenbaker Follow

Please stop by down to our little bakery in Faraway Town,we sell very nice bread. Please I need money immediately

✨ thealmightymaverick Follow

I swear to the great heavens above this isn't how you promote a business.

🍞 bowenbaker Follow

Come start work here and promote it yourself then.

✨ thealmightymaverick Follow

no

🍞 bowenbaker Follow

pussy.

✨ thealmightymaverick Follow

?????????? HEY???

(10 notes)

☕ tealeaves Follow

woodlice infestation again:(

✨ thealmightymaverick Follow

pardon??? again???

☕ tealeaves Follow

again:(

🍫 arielgarciaoffical Follow

the woodlicerrrrrr

☕ tealeaves Follow

I went to nap for 2 hours and Ariel Garcia has somehow blown up my unimportant Tumblr rant. sigh

(4,380 notes)

hotwheelz 🔁 tentacool

| Anonymous asked

🐚 tentacool Follow

PLEASE JUSTE LEAVE ME ALONE

#IVE RECIEVED 20 IMAGES OF THEIS SMAE SKULL IN MY ASKS <- og tag #rbs #op might be going through it #this is hilarious #thanks anon #20???

(20 notes)

🍭 hotwheelz Follow

happy 3 month anniversary of when someone logged into my Tumblr and changed my username to hotwheelz and nothing else. I've kept it because it's too good to lose

🦜somewhereovertherainbow Follow

btw op is apart of a gang irl please block

🍭 hotwheelz Follow

huhwhat. who even is this

(47 notes)

arielgarciaoffical 🔁 thealmightymaverick

✨ thealmightymaverick Follow

Just got so excited I threw up do my adoring followers ever do this also. of course you do I'm such an amazing idol that people can relate to!!!

✨ thealmightymaverick Follow

I think I hauve mental illness

#yeah you do #seek help this isn't normal

(203 notes)

🧁 candyland Follow

I really hate working I hate my job

🧁 candyland Follow

stuop reblogging this I think my boss has Tumblr it might be over

(10,204 notes)

🥖 daphnebaker Follow

Was it casual when we used to sneak out and have picnics under the moon with nothing but a hardly lit lamp and eachother. Was it casual when you stayed by my side despite the things I wrote about you in my diary, even though you never actually found out about it. Was it casual when you held my hand when no one was around and told me you loved me all the time.

🖌️ beauberries Follow

oh my!

🔮 crystallizedballs Follow

uhm girlie no it wasn't are you like actually genuinely OKAY.

✨ thealmightymaverick Follow

I BEG YOUR SINCERE PARDON. WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED!?

(14 notes)

🍬 dinogummies Follow

patsta🤤🤤

✨ thealmightymaverick Follow

true!!!!!!

🍭 hotwheelz Follow

true!

☕ tealeaves Follow

true...

🐚 tentacool Follow

very very true!

🥖 daphnebaker Follow

true!!

🍞 bowenbaker Follow

true!!!

🍫 arielgarciaoffical Follow

TRUE!!!

✨ thealmightymaverick Follow

reblog this post for patsta ❤️

🍬 dinogummies Follow

fuck yeah!

(8,579 notes)

beauberries 🔁 kaleidoscopes

🌈 kaleidoscopes Follow

Katie your outfit to colourful your shoes too swag, they'll kill you!

🧁 candyland Follow

WHAT who is THEY.

🌈 kaleidoscopes Follow

god forbid women have hobbies

#this made me laugh out loud #who is they will be in my vocab for the next week #god forbid!!!! #rbs #i thimk I know both of these guys. also

(28 notes)

[sentienttoastah]

Things to know about me. I uhm. Errmm. Kiwi.

Okay I’ve been informed that making an actual introduction post thing is recommended so yeah why not.

Ahoy, call me Fish/Toastah (or the kiwisang guy apparently) Things to list about me and this blog:

Aroace, Agender

Pronouns are any

Current relevant fixations/interests: Project Moon (YI SANGG!!!), Art, Classic literature, Fear and Hunger(1&2), Okami, Eve Harapeco, Project Milgram, and Kiwi birds of course :D

Mostly SFW in the erotic department as I’m personally sex-repulsed. But there is gore and swearing still (does anyone actually consider swearing not safe though? Like really?) and shipping. If any of that makes you uncomfortable then yeah.

I don’t have many other relevant socials but if you know me from anywhere else hello fish government (you know who you are) Oh and moots can ask for discord too now if they want. I made an account recently.

I am open for interactions or new media and would enjoy making friends on here too so feel free to talk to me about shared interests or other things in general 🐟

or send me kiwi images…

Some tags on this blog:

#🐟 - Any of my original posts that aren’t reblogs (art, thoughts, etc. and the tags below also apply with this)

#toast tangents - Ramblings of a sentient fish toaster creature thing

#daily dick!! - Whale and Moby Dick postings (not very “daily” anymore)

#kwi sang/#kiwi company - That thing where I turn Project Moon characters into kiwis because of course I did. Mainly Yi Sang

#pokemon mirror dungeon - another excuse of mine to draw pmoon characters as anything except human, this time as pokemon

#benjamin 🫶 - benjamin.

(kiwi of judgement because why did you read all of that /pos)

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Interpreted Romance | Prologue

PAIRING | Steve Rogers x Interpreter!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2K

SUMMARY | You're getting a job offer that will take you to the other side of the country, and out of the community you've gotten to know and love. Wanting to change your life up for a while, you decide to take it and see where this new road will lead you. But what will happen when you're meeting a super soldier who quite literally swipes you off your feet?

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Reader is a bit shy, Steve is a flirt. Tooth rotting fluff at the end.

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🩷

Main Masterlist | Steve Rogers Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Chapter 1

You just got done interpreting for one of the teachers at the high school you're working at, and suddenly your phone rings just when you're about to grab your bag. Instead, you open it and find your phone. You don't recognize the number on the screen but decide to pick it up regardless. With this job, you're usually called with phone numbers you don't recognize since you're also an ''emergency interpreter'', so they call you whenever they need an interpreter. ''Hello, this is Y/N,'' you say and you hear a deep voice on the other end of the line. ''Good afternoon Ms. Y/L/N. My name is Tony Stark and I have a job offer for you if you're interested,'' the voice said, and your interest got piqued.

''Hi, uhm, I'm not sure. What kind of job is this about?'' you ask, and your mind goes a mile a minute. You've been thinking about getting a different job for a while, wanting to change your life completely. And this phone call might very well be exactly the push you need to do just that. ''It is my understanding that you're an interpreter, and you're one of the best in your field, at that. So I would like to fly you out to New York, so you can be a full-time interpreter for us if you're interested. We recently hired a new Agent and they're born deaf, but none of us are fluent or even know ASL, so we would like to add you to our team,'' Tony explains, and you don't quite know what to say.

''Is this real? Are you offering me a job there?'' you ask, not sure you believe him just yet. It's not that you're a mistrusting person by any means, but since it would involve a job on the other side of the country, it's still a bit of a risk. ''Yes, I am. I'd like to fly you out as soon as possible so we can go over all your requirements and arrangements, but I'm willing to offer you a full-time position as I said earlier,'' and your insides are screaming for you to say yes, but your head is trying to stay level and doesn't make any rash decisions. ''Is it okay if I think about it? It would mean I would leave behind the life I've built here, and it's not that easy to just leave it all behind,'' you say, a little sadness sounding through in your voice.

''Of course, but I need an answer by no later than the end of the week, we want you to start as soon as possible,'' he said and you agreed. ''Okay, thank you, Mr. Stark. I'll get back to you before the end of the week,'' you say and after a last goodbye, you hang up and sit back down in the chair behind you. ''Oh my god...'' you whisper to yourself, tears forming in the corners of your eyes at the thought of taking the offer, leaving behind the life you built here, and starting over completely. In a city where you know no one, and where no one knows you, you can start completely from scratch and work on a better version of yourself, this is the chance you've dreamt of and now it's so close you can practically taste it.

The next few days you're talking about it with a few people, and they all tell you that you should take the job. ''Hasn't this been your dream for years? Just packing everything up and starting over?'' your best friend Emma asks you, and you nod. ''It is, but I don't think I can just do it. Sure, dreaming about it was nice and all, but it's becoming very real so fast, and now I'm not sure I should do it,'' you tell her, taking a sip of the wine in your hand. ''You have to do it, Y/N, I know you won't forgive yourself if you don't,'' she says and you know she has a point, you won't if you say no, and it is decided, you're going to New York. At least talk about the job, it's the least you can do.

~ The following day ~

Today is your day off and you've been putting off the phone call for a few hours now. Your apartment has been cleaned from top to bottom - twice - and you've officially run out of ways to put off the phone call. ''C'mon Y/N, you can do this!'' you hype yourself up, and once you dropped onto the couch, you pulled your phone from your pocket and found the number that called you a few days ago. ''Stark,'' Tony says when he picks up the phone after a few rings. ''Uh, hi Mr. Stark, this is Y/N Y/L/N, you called me a few days ago about the job offer in New York?'' you started, and he remembers what you were talking about. ''Ah, of course, Y/N! How are you? Have you given some more thought about the offer?'' he says, and your heart skips a few beats.

''Yeah, I have, and I would like to come to New York to talk about it. I'm curious about this job and I've been looking for an opportunity like this, so I just couldn't say no,'' you explain, a small smile tugging at your lips. ''Alright, glad to hear it. I will have you on the first plane out here to New York, I'll email you all the information,'' he says and before you know it, you're packing a small suitcase with some clothing for now, since you won't be staying long. The flight was sooner than expected, and that very same night you're on your way to New York, to the start of the rest of your life.

When you arrive at JFK Airport, you pick up your suitcase and just when you're about to get a cab, you see a man with a piece of paper with your name on it, and you walk towards him. ''Hi, I'm Y/N Y/L/N, it appears you're waiting for me!'' you say cheerily and he nods, ''Yes, Mr. Stark sent me to pick you up and bring you to your hotel. I'm Happy, by the way, it's nice to meet you,'' he says as he guides you to the car Tony arranged. Not long after you're in the hotel and you decide to take it easy, taking a nice relaxing bath with your book and some soft music. When you slide into the warm water, all your worries get washed away and you're feeling comfortable as all the muscles in your body relax one by one.

When the water is starting to get cold you close your book and get out of the bathtub, before drying off and rubbing yourself with some lotion that smells like vanilla, your favorite scent. You sigh when you slip into a loose shirt and sweatpants before getting into bed, calling it an early night as you have a meeting with Tony tomorrow. Sleep seems to come easy this time around and you're grateful, but the dreams you have aren't as nice to you this time around. They're not nightmare material or anything, but they're not all rainbows and sunshine either, which means you wake up a little grumpier than usual.

When the morning arrives and your alarm goes off you snooze a few times, not ready to face reality quite yet. By the time 9.30 AM rolls around you finally get up and ready for the day, as you pick out your outfit for the day and order some breakfast. You brought a black and white outfit, you're hair is in a bun and your make-up a little darker to compliment the outfit. You finish it off with your glasses and you're ready. By the time it is noon, you walk downstairs, where Happy is already waiting for you. ''It's good to see you again, Ms. Y/L/N,'' Happy says as he holds the door open for you. ''It's good to see you too, Happy,'' you say with a smile, feeling a lot better now that you've had some breakfast in your room earlier.

The drive to the Avengers Compound isn't that long, and before you know it you're at the huge building. ''Usually, I'd walk you in but I have an appointment, so I wish you the best of luck,'' Happy says before getting back in the car. When you walk into the Compound you go to the reception desk, and the woman behind you greets you happily. ''Good afternoon, what can I help you with?'' she asks, and you tell her you have an appointment with Tony. ''Alright, I'll let them know you're here!'' she says and she calls up to his office, notifying Tony you're here. ''You can wait in the seating area, he'll be here shortly to pick you up,'' she says, and she asks you if you want something to drink but you politely refuse.

''Ah, Ms. Y/L/N, it's nice to finally meet you in person,'' Tony says as he approaches you. ''Tony Stark,'' he says as he holds out his hand, which you gladly take and shake a few times. ''It's good to see you too, but please call me Y/N,'' you say with a bit of a shy smile, you're not used to the big city, let alone meeting someone of Tony's caliber. ''Alright, but that means you have to call me Tony,'' he said teasing a little and you start blushing, hard. You pray he won't notice, and he doesn't comment on it so you hope it'll be gone soon. The meeting went easier than expected, and you've already made up your mind.

''So, what do you think?'' Tony asks as he leans back in your chair. ''I'll take the job, Tony. And again, I'm very grateful you're doing all this for me,'' you say, not entirely sure what else to say after hearing everything he said. ''Welcome on board! You'll mostly be working with all of the Avengers of course, as they're the ones training the new agents, and I'll introduce you to the Agent in question, Noah, as well,'' he says, but that will all be arranged when you're officially starting your job, a few weeks from now. When you get up and say goodbye to Tony, you open his door and want to walk out, but instead of walking into the hallway, you're walking into a wall of... muscle?

You almost fall backward but before you reach the floor, the man you bumped into has caught you and is holding you tight. ''I- uh, oh god, I'm so sorry!'' you stumble as you're trying to get out of his hold, clearly embarrassed by the entire ordeal. ''Sorry, didn't see you-'' you say, but he doesn't mind. ''It's okay, I don't mind saving a gorgeous young lady like yourself,'' he says with a bit of a smug smile playing at the corners of his mouth. You look into the deep blue eyes of the man who caught you, and feel like you're almost drowning in them. ''I'm Steve Rogers, and who are you?'' he asks, and for a few seconds, your brain seems to have been shut off completely.

''Oh shit, uh, sorry! I'm Y/N Y/L/N, I'll be working with the Avengers as the interpreter for the new Agent that's been hired, Noah. Tony just offered me the job and I accepted, so now I'm here. And I accidentally ran into you for which I'm so so sorry, I feel stupid,'' you ramble and it only makes Steve smile more. ''It's okay like I said, I don't mind saving you,'' and he placed a soft kiss on your cheek as a sign that he doesn't mind. ''Steve, stop flirting and let her go, otherwise, we will have to go find someone else to do your job!'' Tony sneers and he steps away, letting you go. ''I guess I'll see you around then, Y/N,'' Steve says and you can't get over the way your name sounds when it's coming from his mouth.

[neowinestainedress]

shattered glasses (all distorted) | lee jeno

title: shattered glasses (all distorted) | part 1 | masterlist | playlist

pairing: lee jeno x fem!oc/reader (no name used, written in third person) | side member: jeong jaehyun, oc's brother!jaemin | mentioned: lee haechan, park jisung, lee mark, suh johnny

genre: smut, fluff, angst, yandere-ish

summary: there’s only one way to survive in a cage made of rose-colored glasses: don’t shatter the glasses, reality will be painful to accept. 

warnings: yandere behaviours, stalking, possessiveness, (a LOT of) gaslighting, love-bombing, fights, violence, implied undefined mental health issues, dark themes overall, smut, voyeurism, masturbation (implied public masturbation), overstimulation, dumbification, oral sex (f/m), unprotected sex, dirty talk, praise, degradation, mentions of anal f receiving, Jeno is not mean as in the first one, but it doesn’t mean he’s better (sigh) | this one is darker than the first one so PLEASE read the warnings and make sure nothing triggers you. Just like the first one, it has no intentions of romanticizing these types of relationships, it’s simple fiction, written to dig deeper into morally grey characters and toxic behaviours that happen even in real life. If you recognize any of these signs of manipulation in your or your friend’s relationship reach out for help.

words: 28.723k

a/n: this was a lot to write, twisted my stomach but I also loved doing it. It would mean a lot to know what you think about it with comments, reblogs or asks. Especially how you feel about the ending because I had so many different ideas in mind and yeah, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

If you click ‘read more’ you agree you consent to what you’re reading and you’re fully responsible for the media you consume.

“Hi, bunny.” 

Her face lit up when she raised it and met Jeno’s eyes. “Hi, love.” Her voice came out loudly, cheering happily as she pushed closed the door of the bar she worked at. The spring breeze ruffled her hair. “I wasn’t expecting you to pick me up.” 

Jeno smiled, leaning down to leave a peck on her lips and giving her his arm so she could intertwine it with hers. “Finished earlier and I missed you, so I thought of passing by. Also, you know I don’t like it when you take the metro.” 

She chuckled, “I’m safe, nothing bad will happen to me.” It had been by now six months since they were dating, to be more correct, since they got back together. Forgiving him and trusting him again hadn’t been easy but not even as hard as she imagined, it was like Jeno had put a spell on her and he was also really good at being forgiven. He took care of her in a way nobody else ever did, maybe too much care. 

“Everything fine?” Jeno asked when, sitting in his car seat, he quickly turned around to stare at her and saw how she was nervously playing with her fingers. 

“Yeah, just, uhm… nothing.” 

Jeno quirked a brow before starting the car, looking at the street to make sure he could get out of the parking lot, but he had no intention to drop the conversation. “What’s going on? Is something bothering you?” 

“Not really, I just… Okay, there’s a new guy at work, and I don’t like the attention he gives me.” 

Jeno almost messed up changing the gear but the tone of his voice was composed as he tried to dig deeper. “Attention?” 

She nodded, thumb trapped in her teeth as she pulled her skin hard. 

He glanced at her, “Don’t do it, you’ll bleed,” he said, grabbing her hand and intertwining it with his, placing them on the stick. “What’s his name?” 

“Oh, you don’t even know him. But it’s fine, I guess he thinks I’m single. He’s nice, though, it’s just clear he’s trying to hit,” she chuckled, smiling dumbly at the way Jeno’s hand squeezed hers tighter. But Jeno didn’t find it funny at all. 

“Of course, he doesn’t know…” The words come out in a whisper, and for a moment he thought about stopping with this bullshit of keeping her a secret. “If he keeps bothering you let me know.” 

“Yeah, but you don’t have to worry. Tomorrow I’ll tell him I’m not single and I’m sure he will stop.” 

“I hope so,” Jeno grunted, letting go of her hand, placing it on her tight, because if he held it as tight as he was holding the wheel he would’ve broken her bones. 

“Can I stay at your place?” She asked when silence fell in the car.

A soft smile crept on Jeno’s face, “Sure, to be honest, you’re always there anyway so why would it bother me today?” 

“I don’t know…” she answered, leaving the phrase pend in the air. 

“Is this again about him?” 

“Who? Jaehyun?” 

“Jaehyun? So that’s his name?” He impressed his name in his brain, with the memo of reminding himself to dig deeper into him. 

“Yeah, but I told you, you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Then what is this about?” 

“My dad, Jeno. We had another fight,” she confessed, sighing heavily, and rubbing her temples in circles. 

“Another?” He asked, holding the wheel tighter. 

“Yeah, you know, the usual. He says he wasted money on me and that I’m a failure. He wants me to pay to live at their place.” 

“Are you for real?” Jeno’s tone got scarier and she turned around to reassure him, but her smile was fake and Jeno knew exactly what her fake smile looked like. “Don’t play with me.” 

“I just don’t want to think about him. You know he always says the same things and then never does anything.” She leaned against the window pane, hoping Jeno would’ve let go. Her relationship with her father had worsened in the last months. Since Jaemin moved out and got an amazing job in a company, her humble work at the bar was something to be ashamed of. And to add to the humiliation her parents felt since she still lived with them, they also rubbed in her face that she was always out — too much for their liking, as if they ever care to worry about them or what they were doing when they were the ones always around the globe for work. 

Jeno was about to talk again but decided to keep his mouth shut, turning on the radio because he couldn’t stand the silence between them. 

But there was something bothering him, thoughts running in his brain the whole evening, running so fast that a painful headache was starting to form. He shook his head, trying to push them out, but the more he stared at her, cuddled up against him on the sofa, laughing at a joke from the tv show they were watching, the more they haunted him. 

“I think you should move in with me.” 

She blinked repeatedly, not sure if he was talking to her or maybe was saying something out of nowhere. 

“I mean it, move in with me.” 

She scoffed, shaking her head, shifting in her seat to have a better view of his face. 

“Do I even have to remind you that you still don’t want my brother to know? Or wait, nobody has to know.” 

Jeno huffed, sighing loudly. “And? Do they have to know where you live?”

She furrowed, was he being serious? 

“And what do I do? Come here without telling my parents?” 

“Just tell them you’re moving out. They don’t want you there anymore. And, it’s not like they’d come visit you anyway. You’re not Jaemin, you don’t get any special treatment.” 

She didn’t answer, gulping because yes, he was right, but why did he have this habit of being so honest? Even if he didn’t have bad intentions he always hurt her so badly. 

“Don’t do that,” he said, making her lift her gaze again. “You know they don’t care about you, not like I do,” he added, caressing her cheek, gently rubbing his thumb on her skin. “You deserve so much better, bunny.” 

She hummed before turning around to face the tv again but this time with a heavy heart. “I — I’ll think about it.” 

“I don’t understand why you always treat me like this!” She screamed, slamming the door of her bedroom, knowing that for sure her father was going to get even madder. And as expected, the door slammed open. 

“Slam the door again and I’ll kick your ass out of this house. You have no idea of all the sacrifices we had to do to build up everything we have and you are a disgrace to your family.” 

“Honey, let her be,” her mother tried to calm him down, but her husband had no intention to listen. 

“Let her be? We gave up, paid for her art school, and look at her now, working in a fucking bar. And all she does is cry. Grow up. Be at least a quarter of what your brother is and then you’ll have my respect.” 

She fell to the floor, hugging her body to try to push her father’s harsh words away but it was a trick that didn’t work anymore. It never worked, not even when she was ten, and hid under the bed, hoping the pain would go away just like that. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’ll look for a better job, I’ll pay the bills, I’ll be the daughter you want me to be.” 

“You will never be her,” her father spat out before the door slammed close again. 

Her first reaction was to grab her phone and search for her boyfriend’s contact but then she stopped. Jeno would’ve told her once again that they didn’t love her and didn’t deserve her but those weren’t the words she wanted to hear. She even thought about calling Jaemin, but he had never been one to support her. He probably hated her more than her parents did. Calling her friends was off the table, they didn’t know what was going on behind closed doors and they couldn’t know. 

So the only solution was to lay on the cold floor and let tears flood her face, trying to don’t be too loud because she got on her family’s nerves even if she breathed too loudly. 

But while she laid there, she thought about what to do about her life. 

Of one thing she was sure, she couldn’t keep going on like this. 

“You feel weird?” Her best friend, Ningning, had asked her, a cute furrow on her face because she couldn’t understand what her friend meant exactly by that. 

“It’s a weird sensation, I don’t know how to explain,” she sighed, letting her head fall on the bed, watching her get ready for a night out she couldn’t go. 

“Maybe you just need to take your mind off this whole new ‘revolutionising your life’ thing,” Ningning proposed, turning around on the chair, while she applied the blush on her cheeks. “Come to the party.”

“I can’t,” she sighed, hugging the pillow. It had been around two weeks by now since she started trying to make her father happier, nothing had changed for now, but she was hoping for better results soon. She started sending her resume to different companies and was also looking for a small apartment she could afford on her own. 

“Hyuck told me Jeno will be there, too,” Ningning said, raising a brow and smirking. 

“Hyuck? Really? Are you two…?” 

“Shut up, this is not about us. Focus on Jeno, I saw the way he was looking at you the last time we went out.”

Right… Jeno. Jeno and all of her friends not knowing what was going on between them. Jeno and the break she took with him two weeks ago so she could fully focus on her life. 

“I don’t have a crush on him anymore,” she replied, sitting on the bed, looking for her phone because she wanted to make sure Jeno wasn’t going to the party with them. But then guilt took over, they had barely spoken in the past days, just a morning and night text every day and some casual checks up two days a week, that was all she could afford; he was too much of a distraction. But it didn’t seem fair to break her own rules because she was afraid of him being surrounded by pretty girls without her around. 

“Are you sure?” Ningning smirked, fixing her black dress, grinning at her friend from the mirror. 

“Yeah,” she sighed, standing up from the bed. “By the way, you look amazing, and I have to go back home.” 

Ningning smiled at the compliment but then her face turned serious, “Wait, about that feeling,” she stopped her before she could get out of the door. “My mom’s a therapist, maybe she can help you with that. You’re really stressed lately,” the blonde cooed, cupping her cheeks and leaving a peck on her forehead. “I want my cheerful baby back.” 

She chuckled, kissing her friend’s cheek before opening the door. “I’ll reach out to her if things get worst.” 

Jeno didn’t want to appear like a perverted psycho, obsessed with her, but he couldn’t understand how everything seemed to be completely fine for her. 

Why didn’t she miss him like he missed her? 

Why was she always so happy? Not that he wanted her to be miserable but wasn’t she going through some shit? So why was she always smiling? Especially with Jaehyun. 

To be completely honest, Jeno didn’t want to stare, not the first time, at least. It happened that he casually passed by the bar she worked at and saw her, giving him her back, cleaning a table that was close to the window but not enough that she could see him. A smile formed on his face, after five days he finally saw her again, soft hair pulled back into a bun by the silk rubber band he had gifted her and her delicate smile dimpling her cheek.

That was all Jeno needed to see to make his day better, right before someone else appeared in his line of sight. A man who must have been no older than four years of them, he was tall, and from the white T-shirt that hugged his body, Jeno could glimpse the outlined muscles beneath the thin fabric. Light brown hair fell softly over his forehead, long enough to cover his dark eyes if he did not move it with his hands. 

But Jeno could care less about him as a person. Why was he so close to her? Why was she laughing with him? Why was she touching him? What could he possibly have said that was so funny that she felt the need to rest her hand on his bicep and smile at him like that, tilting her head, pinching her tongue between her teeth, and scrunching her nose? 

Repressing the urge to enter by slamming the door and dragging her away from him was difficult, but after taking a deep breath he decided to leave. The blood boiled in his veins, and he could not get those images out of his mind. They ran through his mind like the end credits of a movie, something he did not want to see but his mind replayed and replayed as if it wanted to torture him.

So it was just obvious that the next day Jeno found himself there again. 

Jeno had no idea anymore about the shifts she was working, he knew what it was like to work in that bar, practically never the same routine because there was always someone with problems popping up at the last minute. But by the middle of the week, Jeno seemed to get the hang of it. 

She was working every day, all day. Excluded the few hours when she went out, presumably to go to job interviews with the agencies she had contacted. He even wondered how legal all of that was but once again, he wasn’t surprised knowing the place. 

But why?

He huffed, taking off his jacket as he died from the heat even though the car, parked in a strategic place that allowed him to see without being seen, was not started. He had discovered that parking lot a few months earlier, total causality, but he had always liked it because there was something thrilling about being able to spy on her from a distance. And luckily, it was coming in handy now. 

‘How are you doing? Everything okay at home?’

There it was; the first extra message of the week was gone and he could only hope to receive a response that would reassure him. 

But the answer was not coming, and he was beginning to lose patience, puffs of air escaping noisily from his lips as his slender fingers and feet in the black converse tapped at a pace present only in his mind. 

His nervous movements stopped when he saw her exit the bar, smiling as she held the door for someone else. 

Him. 

Again. 

His eyebrows curved as his lips rippled in an expression mixed between confusion and anger. Eyes darkening as the two leaned back against the short wall to...eat? 

Jeno’s eyes moved quickly to the watch around his wrist. 

4 p.m. 

Definitely too late for lunch.

A snack? While they laughed together? And stayed so close to each other?

“Fuck,” he muttered, wanting to roll down the window to hear what they were talking about, but to do so he would’ve had to start the car and they would’ve surely heard him. “Why the fuck does she always laugh so hard when she’s with him?”

Then he remembered that she still didn’t answer, and his fingers tightened even more firmly around the steering wheel. Only to relax when she reached for her phone to answer...

“She’s not answering?” He whispered, watching in disbelief as she said something to him before putting the phone back in her pocket and smiling once again at something he said. 

“Who the fuck does he think he is?”

Jeno had no idea who he was, but he was sure he was going to find out.

When another week had passed, she was wrecked. Not only the full shifts to make some more money were mentally and physically killing her, but that weird sensation seemed to be growing instead of disappearing. She felt constantly watched and Ningning kept telling her that it was just stress, she just needed to relax, or maybe call an exorcist because ‘you’re never sure about the people who have died inside your house and never left.’ 

But she rolled her eyes at her friend’s words, deciding that the best solution was the first. 

So she laid on her bed, luckily for her, her parents weren’t home, so she had this whole Sunday night to herself. 

The temptation to call Jeno was high. She missed him like crazy and even if she wouldn’t have called him over, maybe hearing his voice through a call was better than trying to reminisce him, his tone, his sinful words, or his touches. 

But then she decided not to. 

She had learned a lot of things in these past months, but she was still a bit ashamed of talking about this and the idea of sexting, or whatever it was called, so that stopped her from picking up her phone. 

She could use some imagination. So she tried to replicate what Jeno did. Letting her hands wander on her body, slowly, taking time to let all her nerves wake up and get drunk at the sensation. It wasn’t like getting touched by him, the goosebumps erupting from her skin weren’t even close to the ones that Jeno’s fingers provoked, but it was better than nothing. 

When the teasing got too much, not satisfying her enough, she slipped out of her clothes, laying bare on her bed, sheets crumpled at the end of the mattress as she tried to relax against the soft surface. Her fingers already knew the path, tracing down her skin by memory until they reached the spot she needs to touch the most. Fingertips circling on her clit after gathering the wetness that pooled out of her. 

Her head rolled back as her fingers quickened the pace, moving fast to reach the first climax that already made her feel better, but it still wasn’t enough. So her fingers slipped inside her with ease, pumping and curling inside of her the same way Jeno did, they didn’t reach as deep as him, and she felt like she didn’t know herself as deeply as Jeno did, but if she closed her eyes, she could see him. His body hovering over hers, one hand to keep himself up, pressing on the mattress close to her head, while the other was buried deep into her. Praising how good she was taking him, how messy she was, how desperate she was for him. Already looking wrecked just with a touch. 

“Fuck,” she moaned loudly when she came for the second time, walls clenching around her fingers and chest heaving. 

She stood there for a while, combatted between stopping there or doing more. But then her needs took over and she turned around to search for something in her bottom drawer. 

The toy Jeno had gifted her. 

She could still remember how embarrassed she was when he gave it to her, but she couldn’t deny that it had turned out useful. Not that Jeno ever left her without him for long, but during those rare occasions when they weren’t together, or when they wanted to do something different, she liked it. 

She brought it to her lips, slowly starting to suck it to get it wet, and then pushed it past her entrance, the tip stretching her out before she let it fill her completely. 

“Mhh, so good,” she breathed out, eyelashes fluttering as she moved it in and out. Legs parting more to make it reach deeper and angle it better exactly how she liked it. 

“Jeno,” she started moaning out his name, eyes closed as her brain pictured him instead, his touch still lingering on her skin, his moans filling her ears, his cock rubbing against her insides. 

“Louder.”

“Jeno,” she screamed. It was like she could hear him. As if he was right there, at the edge of the bed, staring at her, boring holes into her skin. 

“Je — Jeno,” she breathed out, so close to coming again… 

Her blood froze in her veins when a loud sound came from outside and the bushes moved. She gulped, toy falling to the side when she pulled it out so fast that she almost hurt herself. Her legs started shaking more, and this time not from pleasure, as she slowly started walking to the window after throwing a blanket on herself. She looked outside, but there was nothing, or better, nobody. She took a breath of relief, maybe it was a stray cat or the wind, it surely was that. 

But when she turned back, she saw her phone on the bedside table, forgotten while she was trying to destress. She walked to it, not even knowing why, but worrying when she saw so many texts from Jeno’s contact but her heart dropped for another reason as she scrolled through them. 

“I miss you.” 

“I know I shouldn’t text you.” 

“I know it’s hard for you but I can’t help it.” 

“I’m thinking about you.” 

“I’m thinking about you while I’m touching myself.” 

“I miss your mouth so much.” 

“are you thinking about me when you touch yourself?” 

“your fingers are not like mine” 

“I wouldn’t stop like you”

“I’d make you come over and over just with them” 

“Are you thinking about me while you pretend – 

That that toy can satisfy you like my cock” 

“what I’d give to feel you again.” 

“to have you spread like this on my bed.” 

“Moan my name” 

“louder”

“I want to hear you”

“you’re so fucking hot when you’re about to come”

She looked around in panic, holding the blanket that was covering her tighter, and ran back to close the blinds. That was just a coincidence, right? He simply missed her and masturbated thinking about her and as a mere coincidence she was doing it too. He must’ve only guessed she was fingering herself, and that she was sucking her toy before fucking herself with it. Probably he was drunk and was just ranting about how badly he missed her. 

It had to be a creepy, odd coincidence. 

She would’ve talked to him the next day. 

“I was thinking that if you need a good job maybe my dad could set you up somewhere,” Jeno proposed. They had finally met after what felt like decades, it wasn’t the type of date Jeno wanted to have — grocery wasn’t exactly how he wanted to spend time with her — but it was better than nothing. 

“If my dad finds out I work for your dad he’d be even madder about it. And why would your father hire me? Because I’m your girlfriend? He doesn’t even know it. And I don’t want to get a job like this.” 

“Well, but you’re smart, I’m sure he can find a place for you.” His father was never a presence emotionally but when it came to money and favors he believed they could replace a hug or a word of comfort, so Jeno was sure he could help.

She shook her head, cancelling something from the list before pushing the kart again. 

“Thanks, but no, I’m dealing with this by myself.” 

Jeno hummed, looking at her while she searched for something on the shelves. “I miss you,” he said for the nth time. “I know why you’re doing this, I know I promised I was going to wait for you but… not seeing you at all is too much.” 

She turned around, pushing him to the side to let an old lady walk next to them. “You think it’s not hard for me? You are the only good thing I have in my life right now and I’m pushing it away to make proud of me a man that probably will never be. How do you think I feel?” 

“But that’s the point. You’re doing this for your father, not for you. When will you put yourself first and stop trying to please others? Especially him. He paid you dust all your life, and gave everything to Jaemin. You could be the Ceo of Samsung one day and it still won’t be enough for him so why are you tearing your happiness apart for him?” 

She swallowed hard, “Lower your voice, please.” 

Jeno scoffed, pushing the kart past her, and ripping the list from her hands. 

“Jeno, stop,” she said, running after him. “I don’t want to talk about this in public.” 

“Sure, or you don’t want to talk about this at all because you’re too busy licking his boots, right?” 

She stopped, feeling on the verge of tears again. “You’re supposed to be my happy place not another source of pain,” she replied, facing him and glaring at him. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized immediately, pulling her into a hug. “I’m sorry, I know this is a lot for you but it gets me so mad seeing you crawl for him when he doesn’t deserve you. But at the end of the day he’s your father,” he said, pulling away, caressing her nape, “and I can’t come between you two. I’m sure you’ll make him proud.” 

She lowered her head, rubbing her hands against her arms before she started walking again. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.”  

“I know, I… I know you are. I promise you just until I find a better job and then we’ll get back to before.” 

“He offered you a job?” Ningning squealed, looking at her in disbelief, and shaking Yeri’s shoulders. 

“Are you sure it’s not a scam? Didn’t he just start working at your bar?” 

“He needed some money to have more safety for his and his friend’s business. But when he heard about my degree he was so happy to propose me a place.” 

“Oh, well, that’s good then. I hope it turns well for you, you deserve it.” Her friend cheered, finally happy she could stop stressing over work. 

“Yeah, and now I can also finally spend more time with J — with you, I had missed you so much.” 

“Talking about that,” Ningning said, a grin curling her lips, “Hyuck’s throwing a night at his place. He told me to bring some friends.” 

“Oh, I think I’ll pass.” 

“Weren’t you happy two seconds ago about spending time with us?” Yeri asked, pouting at her and crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

“Yeah, but you know I don’t get along with his friends, we only got close to them because apparently, these two can’t stop fucking.” 

“Hey! Watch your words,” Ningning warned with a threatening pointy finger. “I’m sure it will be fun, come on.” 

“I don’t know, I’ll let you know tomorrow, okay?” 

“You can be so boring sometimes,” the blonde joked, “but it’s fine, we get it if you want to get some of the sleep you didn’t have these weeks.”

“Bunny?” Jeno answered the phone. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, never been better.” 

“Never been better? What happened?” He wanted to ask if her father died but seeing the way she reacted to critics against him it was better not to. 

“I found a job!” She exclaimed cheerfully. 

“Really? That’s amazing, bunny. What company hired you?” He should’ve gone back inside to work, but he was more focused on this. He could finally have her back. 

“Well, it’s not exactly a company,” she explained. “It’s a new business but it’s related to what I studied for. Jaehyunnie was so hyped when I casually talked about my studies that he immediately offered it to me. I had an interview this morning with his other friend that technically will be our boss when we’ll fire ourselves from here and he was so happy about me —”

“Wait, wait, wait…” he said, stopping her in her tracks. “Jaehyunnie?” 

“Oh, yeah, Jaehyun. Remember? The new guy at the bar.” 

Him. 

“And you got so close that you call him by that nickname?” 

“Yeah, I basically taught him everything, it was impossible not to get close to. He’s a really nice friend. And most importantly he gave me this job.” 

Jeno scoffed. 

“What’s so funny?” She asked, not understanding his reaction, smile dropping because she expected him to be happy. 

“No, nothing. When I wanted to offer you, my girlfriend, a job, a well-paid one, in an already started business it was a nasty way to get there with connections, but this is fine.” 

“It’s different,” she replied, her enthusiasm dying as soon as she heard his tone. 

“Oh, really, how? No wait, I know how. You let a stranger help you terribly but not your boyfriend.”

“But — but it’s what I like to do. You said that I shouldn’t have crawled for my father but do what I like.” 

“Yes, but do something that gave you an opportunity. If he had this job why would he work there?”

“It’s already a started business, they’re simply bringing it to Seoul and finally with a physical building. I thought you were going to be happy for me…” Her heart sank in her chest, this was the last reaction she expected. 

“I am, I’m so happy for you. I hope it won’t let you down.” 

“You’re not really —”

“I have to go, bye.”

When the phone shut down, she felt a bitter taste in her mouth. Grunting, she let her body fall against the bed, the sheets hollowing around her frame. She couldn’t get why he acted like this. Why couldn’t he just be happy for her? 

She thought about calling him again or texting him to explain the situation again, but she was too happy to deal with his mood swing, so she grabbed her phone again and texted Ningning instead. 

‘If you save some time to celebrate me, I’m coming to Hyuck’s place.’ 

It took Ningning two seconds to respond and making her smile again.

‘Ofc! I knew I could count on you.’ 

‘I’m sorry for the way I reacted the other day. I know how big you dream I’m afraid he might get your hopes up and you will be even more hurt, and you know why…’ 

‘Make-up dinner at my place? I’ll pick you up at 7?’ 

She sighed, watching the phone light up just when she was done getting ready for the small gathering with the others. She couldn’t lie to him, Hyuck would’ve told him if she went there, and there were high chances Jaemin was going to be there too. So one way or another, Jeno was going to find out the truth. 

‘I can’t tonight, I already have plans. Sorry.’ 

That was not the message Jeno expected to see. 

That was not a message Jeno wanted to see. 

‘Plans? With who?’ 

He typed it out calmly, but inside of him something bubbled, leg throbbing nervously as he waited for an answer that was slow to come. 

What the fuck was she doing? What games what she playing? 

‘I wanted to ask you if you went when I called you yesterday, but then you got mad and I didn’t.’ 

‘I’m going with the girls to Hyuck’s place.’ 

His body froze. 

Haechan? Since when she liked his company? And why the fuck he knew nothing about this? 

‘Is he throwing a party?’ He typed because it was the calmest question that was running in his brain as he walked to his bedroom to change into new clothes immediately. 

‘he didn’t tell you?’ 

‘well, anyway it’s just something small. And it’s also a small celebration for me.’ 

He groaned, picking up the phone and calling her. 

“Where are you?” 

“What do you mean where I am?” She answered, surprised by his tone, a mix between angry, worried and something else she couldn’t point out. 

“Where the — where are you?” He calmed down, opening the front door to jump into his car. “I’ll take you there.” 

“You don’t have to. Ning is coming, it’s the only way to don’t make her pass out.” 

“I don’t care, I’ll pick you up.” 

“You didn’t even know about the party, why can’t I go alone?” 

Jeno stopped the car, afraid he was going to get in an accident. “Now you want to go there alone? Am I getting heavy?” 

“No, I didn’t say that. But, we have to be extremely careful and we can’t be together anyway so just stay at home.” 

Jeno clenched his fist around the wheel. 

“Why do you even want to go there?” 

“To spend time with the girls,” she replied, trying to muffle the annoyed sighs that were threatening to roll out.  

“As if they will spend it with you,” he snorted. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Ningning will be all up Haechan in less than half an hour and Yeri will be kissing Mark as soon as you step inside. What are you left with? Your brother and Jisung?” 

“It’s not a party, they won’t leave to make out…” she mumbled, starting to get nervous, nervously fidgeting with the zip of her dress. 

“Why don’t you just let me pass by and I’ll celebrate you?” 

“You weren’t even happy about my job,” she replied bitterly.

“I explained it to you, please.” 

“They are here,” she replied when the bell rang, grabbing her purse, and rushing to the door. “We’ll see each other another time.” 

Jeno punched the wheel before he started driving to Haechan’s place anyway. He wasn’t going to let her go alone. 

The party, or night together, was a bit of a bummer, right at the moment she didn’t want to prove Jeno right but his predictions came true. 

Her friends had disappeared and she was left alone with her brother, Jisung and two other people she had never met. 

She was even tempted to call Jeno, find lame excuses about how the party ended sooner and spend some time with him, but she didn’t want to humiliate herself like that. Sure, Jeno couldn’t know this had been a failure. 

But Jeno knew it. He had grown up in that house and he knew all the exact spots to see inside without being caught, also helped by Haechan’s habit of keeping all the blinds open. He could see her sitting on the couch, an empty glass in hand and a fake smile on her face as she talked to Jisung. 

‘having fun?’ 

He smiled when she grabbed her phone and smiled after reading his name, but his smile dropped as soon as she locked it again and didn’t answer. 

What was she doing? Was it a way to pretend she was so caught up in the party she had no time to answer him? Smart move, he had to give that to her. 

“Can you go call them?” She asked her brother when it was getting too much, and he rolled his eyes. 

“Why do you want to ruin their fun? Unlike you, they’re having it.” 

“They can fuck when they don’t have guests at home.” 

“They’re not fucking, you would hear them,” he grinned, backed up by Jisung, “but fine, I’ll go call them.” 

As soon as he left she grabbed her phone again, a small smile on her face while she answered Jeno’s texts. 

‘yep, it’s chill but nice. I missed the girls.’ 

‘and you?’ 

He smirked, shaking his head, before bringing it on her again, nervously scratching her neck and looking around. She was so out of place, he would’ve never got why she tried so hard to fit in them. 

‘like shit without you|’

‘like shit|’

‘like|’ 

‘going to sleep soon.’ 

‘can we see each other tomorrow? fix this like adults?’ 

But her answer never came since the girls came back downstairs and her phone slipped into the back of her mind. And Jeno almost hit the window with a punch, he didn’t like how easy it was for her to push him in the back of her mind. 

“This room is so expensive; you spoil me too much.” The suite they were staying in for the weekend was luxurious, she had no idea how much Jeno had spent on it, but it was surely more than she could imagine, and for now, even afford. 

“Had to have you all to myself for a few days,” he replied, grabbing the bottle of champagne and winking at her. 

“I basically moved in with you.” She walked closer to him, sitting on the big crème armchair, watching attentively as he poured the alcohol into the flutes. 

“Basically, but not officially,” he reminded her, eyebrows raising, and a hint of bitterness in the tone of his voice. “Also, your new job is taking you away from me.” 

The laugh that rolled out of her mouth was carefree, but Jeno found it slightly annoying, he wasn’t kidding. The hours of her shifts were weird, and never the same, even if they wanted to, they couldn’t plan anything during the week. 

“So, that’s why you’re taking me away? This is like the third weekend we spent traveling around.” 

Jeno hummed, sitting on the armrest before handing her one of the two glasses. “Don’t you love it? You have me all to yourself for two days straight,” he said, caressing her cheek, before his hand moved down her neck, making her close her eyes at the tickling touch. “No work,” he whispered, taking a gulp of champagne and kissing her, passing the liquid into her mouth, making her squirm and moan once she swallowed. “No annoying father,” he added, kissing her again, tongue playing with hers. “No worries,” he finished, pulling away, placing the glasses on the closest table and pulling her in his arms. 

No friends. And especially no Jaehyun. He wanted to add, but those were thoughts he had to keep to himself. 

So instead of thinking of them, he laid her on the bed, he was going to make her forget about them in another way. 

“Let me take care of you,” he hummed, kissing her jawline, nibbling her earlobe, and making her giggle. “What’s so funny?” 

She shook her head, “I’m sensitive there, it’s ticklish.” 

He smiled, “Do you mind if I kiss you… here?” His lips landed on her neck, precisely on the spot between her jaw and neck, sucking it and pulling away with a loud pop. And then he moved down, kissing her collarbone. His hands promptly pulled her dress off her, revealing her body to him. “The set I got you, uh?” 

She nodded, arms covering her chest, the bralette pushing her boobs up, making her feel exposed. 

“Still hiding from me, bunny? Really?” 

“I’m not used to seeing myself in these things…” she confessed.

Jeno snickered, hand moving behind her back, unclasping it. “Off it goes, then.” 

A moan slipped loudly out of her mouth when his lips wrapped around her nipples, sucking avidly, already making her squirm at the bare touch. 

He had her in the palm of his hands, it was so easy to maneuver her. 

“Will make you feel so good bunny, you will even forget your name,” he whispered after pulling away from her with a loud sound. “Need you to be relaxed, can’t stand seeing you come home from work and be exhausted,” he whispered, moving his hand on her laced panties, rubbing his fingers on her lips, already feeling the fabric get wetter. 

“Please,” she mumbled, the word coming out muffled as she kept her lips trapped in her teeth. 

Jeno chuckled, “Please? You want that baby?” He hummed, fingers pressing harder on her clit as he moved them in circles. “Want me to turn you into a brain-empty bunny?” 

“Yes, please,” she replied, voice barely higher than a whisper, while she forced her eyes open to look at him. Chest already raising faster as he kept teasing her, moving his fingers up and down on the panties, not leaving a single inch of her sensitive zone untouched. 

“Stop squirming, baby,” he ordered, keeping her in place by pressing an open hand on her stomach. “I won’t give you more, need you to be patient.” 

“But I want you,” she pleaded, still trying to stay still and listen to his orders, but it was quite hard when his fingers felt like a mocking tease, barely grazing her and then giving her what she wanted, a back and forth that was driving her insane. 

“I know, bunny, I know, but good girls aren’t greedy, remember?”

She hummed, giving up, it was useless, he always got what he wanted anyway. 

“Come here,” he ordered, swiftly getting off the bed, and waiting for her to follow. “Now,” he ordered when she was staring at him with a confused — slightly disappointed — look on her face. “On your knees,” he said, watching attentively as she positioned on the floor in front of him. “Oh, look at your face, bunny. Eager to suck my cock?” 

She nodded, a shy smile on her face, “You never let me do it…” she whispered, hesitantly placing her hands on his belt, waiting for his nod to start undressing him. “Sometimes I fear I’m not good at it.” 

“Oh, honey, no,” he cooed, thumb caressing her cheek, smirking when her eyes lightened up when she freed his cock from his underwear. “You’re so good, came so far from the messy girl of your first time, remember?” 

“Unfortunately,” she whispered, lowering her gaze, but Jeno cupped her face and forced her up. 

“Look at me, bunny. Keep your eyes on me when you take it all in your mouth, you can do it, right?” She nodded, tongue rolling out, waiting for him to push his tip inside. “Good bunny,” he praised, hand moving back to grab her hair and gently push her on his hard cock. “If you’re good I’ll give you everything you want. I’ll fuck you all night, baby, you want that? Yes, you do, come on, suck it.” 

In a second her head started moving back and forth, at first slowly, wetting it before she started sucking with force. 

“Fuck,” Jeno groaned, throwing his head back, tightening the hold on her hair but not forcing her head against him, giving her complete control. “You’re so good, bunny. So fucking good.” 

The praise got to her head, ass swinging side to side as she shifted closer to him and started reaching deeper, the tip of his cock hitting her throat, nose rubbing against his abs with every thrust. She could feel she was already making a bigger mess in her panties, the way Jeno was looking down at her and how deep his moans were, almost making her come on the spot. 

And Jeno loved how concentrated she was even if she was barely holding it together, always such a good girl, his good girl. A cute furrow creating deep creases on her forehead and big eyes looking up into him.

“That’s it,” he groaned, nails grazing her neck, causing more moans to vibrate around his length. “Want me to fuck you?” He asked, dark eyes staring deeply into hers while she nodded eagerly. “Beg for it,” he ordered.

She was about to pull away but Jeno pushed her flush against him, keeping her there, looking up with confused eyes. “I said, beg me to fuck you.” 

He chuckled deeply when she gagged around him, gargling around his size while she tried to speak, “I know you can’t talk, I don’t really care, you sound so pretty with your mouth stuffed. Beg.” 

She huffed, placing her hands on his thighs to hold herself somewhere and started muffling around him, not a single word made sense and it only caused her to make more of a mess, spit drooling down her chin to the floor.  

“Fuck,” Jeno groaned, throwing his head back. “You sound so pretty when you can’t form a single coherent thought, bunny. Just a mess in my hands, aren’t you?” 

She hummed, trying to nod but the hold he had on her barely made her move. 

“Want me to fuck you dumb, bunny? Yeah? Until your mind goes completely blank?” She nodded, gasping when he pulled her away, sucking in the air in her lungs with greed. 

“Yes, please, please. I want to — want to think about nothing at all.” 

Jeno smiled, thumb brushing her lips, smearing the mix of drool and cum before he pushed it deep into her mouth, thumb pressing on her tongue, triggering her gag reflex. “You don’t gag around my cock, though,” he chuckled while pulling out, cock twitching at her already fucked out eyes. He couldn’t wait to ruin her even more. 

“Open up again for me,” he instructed, a deep moan rumbling in his chest when she obeyed with no hesitation. “I’m gonna grab the back of your neck and fuck your pretty face just how I want,” he said, pushing into her, moving slowly, making her feel the veins of his dick, and pulling out just to tease her lips with his head, “and then I’ll give you all you want,” he groaned as he pushed in, “everything you deserve.” 

Jeno wasn’t gentle, he never was when he lost his mind at the sight of her looking like a mess under him, letting him do whatever he wanted. His hips slamming with force, the lewd sounds of his balls hitting her chin, and the gargling and gagging sounds he was eliciting out of her mouth. He couldn’t last when she started squirming and he knew she was trying to squeeze her thighs to feel something. 

“Fuck, fuck, that’s it, bunny. Take my cum,” he said through gritted teeth, keeping her still against him, while he came into her mouth, so deep into her throat, she had no choice but to swallow, not that she would’ve spat anyway. 

When Jeno pulled out she finally breathed again, head low as she tried to clean the mess on her face, not really making it better since it dripped on her body even more. 

“Jeno,” she screamed when he lifted her up without a warning. 

“What? I doubt you can walk to the bed,” he joked, kissing her and lying her on the soft mattress. “You did such a great job.” 

“No-now can you fuck me?” 

He chuckled at her shyness, shaking his head as he positioned himself between her legs, fingers hooking in the band of her panties, drenched panties, to roll them down her smooth legs. 

“I promised you I would, and I always keep my promises,” he winked before his fingers slipped into her, a broken moan sticking into her throat at the unexpected intrusion. “You’re so wet, you really love sucking my cock, don’t you?” 

She started to answer but Jeno shushed her, “Don’t talk, I don’t need your words, your body is already answering me.” After a few knuckles-deep thrusts, he pulled out, cleaning his fingers on her thighs before starting to pump his cock up and down. Jeno didn’t add any more words before parting her legs more and slowly pushing in, eyes closing as he enjoyed the sensation, every time like the first time. “You always feel so good, bunny, I will never get used to you, fuck.” 

The comment made her smile, eyes rolling in the back of her head, and hips rolling up against him, it was always so much and yet never enough. It was like Jeno made her addicted to him, every time slipping under her skin a bit more, a bit deeper, just enough until there was nobody else left inside of her. 

Just like right now, his big body caging her underneath him, almost folding her in two so easily, playing with her like a chess piece. A frown on his face as he concentrated on the deep and intense strokes inside of her. 

But it was almost as if there was something different, she had no idea if the expensive room had something to do with it, or maybe it was the dinner they had before, probably the alcohol, but her body was on fire, nerves out and head already empty. 

“Jeno,” she could barely sputter out, trying hard to focus on his frame. 

“Yes, bunny, just let go,” he replied before kissing her again, hips fucking against her in a steady rhythm that was already triggering another orgasm out of her. “I want your brain empty,” he moaned. “Don’t want you to worry about anything, just — just focus on me.” His finger quickly pressed against her clit, a buzzing sensation sparkling up in her body, climax hitting before she could even do anything, leaving her gasping with eyes open at the unexpected wave of pleasure. 

Jeno didn’t stop though, he had no intention of being nice that night, he meant it when he said he wanted her brain empty. 

She could barely whine in complaint when he pulled out, swiftly turning her over, strong arms turning her around as if she was lightweight, and that only made her cunt squeeze around nothing. In a few seconds his cock was inside her again, hitting deeper and harder. 

“So pretty, bunny, so fucking pretty,” he moaned, cupping her asscheeks with rough tugs.  

“Jeno, I —”

“I told you, you don’t have to think,” he groaned. “Need to fuck you harder. Come here.” He pulled out again and lifted her up in his arms, walking around the bed. 

She wanted to ask what he wanted to do and if standing up was a smart idea but his words shut her up, he knew what he was doing, she just had to trust him. A scream rippled out of her mouth when his arms slipped behind her knees, holding them up flat against her chest while his cock slipped into her again. Her head rolled back but Jeno groaned, “Keep your head up, I want you to look at me fuck you stupid.” 

Moans and whimpers rolled out of her mouth, barely thinking he already fucked her stupid, he couldn’t do more than this. But Jeno still proved her wrong, they never tried this position before and she felt like her breath was getting caught out. It wasn’t only the position, it was the way his toned arms were flexing with the struggle of fucking her up and down on him, it was the thin layer of sweat pearling his smooth skin, it was in the way his moans and groans hit right against her ear and drove her insane. 

Jeno was everywhere, all over her, inside and outside. 

“See how pretty you are? How good your pussy’s opening up to me?” 

She shook her head, too ashamed to let her eyes meet her reflection in the mirror right where their bodies were meeting. 

“Look down, come on bunny,” he ordered, locking his fingers behind her neck and forcing her head down. 

She moaned louder, the lewd image of cum dripping down his balls and to the floor and the wet sounds caused by his deep thrusts, making her toes curl up. 

“I’m — I’m clo-close,” she whimpered, tears starting to pool at the corners of her eyes. 

Jeno wanted to tease her and tell her to hold it but he couldn’t hold it anymore, and he wanted to wear her out. So his hips started moving faster, hitting her wet spot and making her come in his arms, triggering his orgasm too. He almost fell down on the bed before he laid her down on the mattress. 

“More, please, one more,” she begged, voice hoarse and eyes shiny from tears. “Want to feel you again.” 

“My stupid bunny wants more?” Jeno cooed, fingers slipping inside her, making her shiver, pumping in and out just to tease, thumb rubbing her clit sending sparks down her body. “Want more cock? Need more cock, bunny?” 

She hummed, lips trapped in her teeth, chest heaving, and sweat rolling down her forehead. 

A grin formed on his face before he pushed inside her again, “So warm and wet, bunny. So fucking good for me.” 

A fucked out smile showed on her face but there were truly no thoughts, not coherent at least, in her brain. Too fogged by pleasure and him. 

And Jeno was getting high at the sight of her, nobody else distracting her from him. It was only them. Chants of his name the only word that came out of her plump, swollen lips, together with soft moans and cries. 

“So, pretty, you’re — fuck — you’re so, so pretty,” he groaned, pulling her closer to him, lifting her hips, hitting deeper, fingers dipping with force in the skin of her waist. “My beautiful, precious bunny.” 

The praise shouldn’t have had that effect on her and her heart but it did, because after all that time it still felt surreal that she was his, that after years of yearning she was there, in his arms, that those words and that love were for her. It wasn’t a fantasy anymore, it was their reality. 

“Jeno,” his name came out like a scream, hips rolling back, making him slip even further, causing him to growl at the sight and how much he could feel her. He was about to lose it again, his brain spinning swiftly too as he got lost in the way his cock was stretching her, slipping back and forth with quick strokes. Cum spilling out of her. “Please.” 

“Please, what? Tell me what you want. If there’s any thought left in your empty brain, bunny, tell me what you need.” 

She gasped, nails clenching around the bedding, and jaw locked while hisses rippled out. “Your — your cum, please, please, please,” she wept, tears rolling down her burning cheeks, broken sobs muffling her moans. 

Jeno’s hips started slamming faster against her ass and thighs, so fast she wondered how he didn’t leave marks on her skin. His eyes rolled back when her cunt started squeezing around him with more force, barely giving him space to pull out and fuck into her. 

“Gonna come all over my cock?” He groaned, cupping her cheek, running his hand in her wet hair, before his thumb circled her cheek, rubbing the burning hot skin. “Yeah? All empty in the brain and full in your cunt?” 

“Y-yeah, please,” her voice broke in her throat when the pleasure became unbearable, back arching forming a bow and orgasm rushing all over her body leaving no trace of sanity behind. 

The groans coming from Jeno were groggy and deep, almost animalistic, cunt incredibly tight sucking him, cock throbbing inside her while spurts of white painted her insides. “Fuck,” Jeno muttered through gritted teeth, climax dimming slowly, eyes dropping on her face, tears still rolling copiously on her cheeks and lips letting out heavy puffs of air. 

“You okay?” He asked, lips leaving wet kissing on her jaw, fingers caressing her hair while he slowly pulled out, a river of cum dripping down on the mattress. She could barely nod, eyes already shut, and a small smile on her face. Jeno grinned, kissing her lips, and pulling her close in his arms, he would’ve cleaned her later. 

“I love you so much, bunny, even more when you go dumb on me.” 

Jeno didn’t like it when she lied. And lately, it was happening too often. 

He didn’t even mind if she could feel that he was mad from the way he was looking at her, or that he seemed more distant. 

Why? 

Why was she lying? Why was she treating Jaehyun like a secret? 

“You’re home already?” He asked surprised when he heard the sound of the keys in the slot door. He knew she was home, he was staring out of the window when he saw her get out of a car that wasn’t his, and not even of their friends, and he even knew who dropped her by. 

“Yeah, finished early,” she replied, rushing to him to leave a peck on his lips. “But I didn’t want to make you run there so I came alone.” 

“Took the metro?” He asked, raising a brow, staring at her as she stretched and slumped next to him on the sofa. 

She hummed without looking at him, busy trying to grab the remote controller to turn the tv on. 

“You know I don’t like when you take the metro,” he said, trying to don’t make his voice come out like a growl. No, he didn’t like the metro, but he liked it even less if Jaehyun drove her home. And he liked it even less when she lied to him. 

“I know, but as I said, I didn’t want to bother,” she replied, leaning close to him. He glared at her, but she couldn’t see. “It was empty anyway.” 

That wasn’t the first time she lied, but it was the last straw. 

They were mostly white lies, but Jeno couldn’t understand why she felt the need to tell them. What had happened to be honest with each other? And most importantly, what did she have to hide? 

He had to act. 

“Did you hear something about crime rates being higher, lately?” She asked out of the blue, it was late during a Wednesday night but they both were still up because they couldn’t sleep. 

“Crimes?” Jeno asked, tilting his head to look at her, expecting to find her with the phone in hand, maybe asking the question after reading an article. 

“Yeah…” she replied, “Jaehyun told me that he found all the tires of his car slashed,” she sighed, thinking about what he told her that morning, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. “He was terrified, didn’t sleep all night and was still shaking when he told me what happened.” 

Jeno had to suppress the smirk that was forming on his face and replaced it with a sad pout. “Oh, that sucks.” 

Oh, that worked. 

“But no, I didn’t hear anything, if that calms you down,” he added, upper body twisting so he could look at her and caress her face. 

She hummed, smiling at him. “He was so shaken that he took a week off, and I think he went to stay for a while at a friend’s place.” 

Jeno’s face wasn’t showing the emotions that were going through his mind. But he still couldn’t get why she cared so much about him. And all that for some slashed tires? What kind of man he was? 

“Maybe some time off will be good to think,” slipped out his mouth and she quirked a brow. 

“To think?” 

“Yeah, to process it. And realize that it surely must’ve been a mistake or you know, those teenagers that have fun making trouble.” 

“Oh,” she said, only then getting what he meant. “I guess so.” 

“He’s a grown man, anyway. I’m sure he has nothing to be afraid of.” 

She hummed, moving closer to him. “But it must suck being all alone. I’m so glad I have you, I have nothing to be afraid of.” 

Jeno smiled before kissing her. 

Maybe sanity was starting to fill her brain again. 

No, bunny, you have nothing to be afraid of as long as you have me.

“How do I look?” She asked swirling around, showing off the thigh-length pink dress. 

“Beautiful, bunny. Where are you going?” 

“To the disco, the Kaleido.” 

“There?” He asked, a furrow on his face.

“Why?” 

“Oh, nothing, not a big fan of that place,” he said, showing nonchalance, sure, not happy about her night out but also too lost in the way she looked. 

“You’ll start drooling if you keep looking at me like that,” she joked, drifting her eyes away from his intense gaze. It was the look he had on his face when he wanted to fuck her and she couldn’t say no to that look. But she really wanted to go out with her friends, she couldn’t let him keep her at home. 

“You look amazing in that dress,” Jeno hummed like a melody, getting up from the couch and hugging her. “But I’d love to see it on the floor.” 

“Not now, Jeno,” she replied, trying to push him off, smiling at the pout that formed on his face. He almost looked cute as if two seconds before he didn’t look like a starving animal eager to eat her alive. 

“Let me at least kiss you then.” Their lips met in a heated kiss before she could say anything. His hands cupped her ass and lifted her up. 

“Jeno,” she moaned in the kiss, heart jumping in her chest because she loved when he held her like this and he was the only thing keeping her from falling.

“What?” The smirk on his face was smug and in his voice there were hints of arrogance.

“You know we won’t stop if you keep doing this.” 

“Fine,” he sighed, letting her feet meet the floor again, looking at her in awe. “You know what I’m thinking?” 

She scoffed, “How badly you want to fuck me?” 

Jeno rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “How lucky I am to have you.” 

“Stop,” she whined, pushing him away playfully, trying to calm her heart from beating so fast. She hated how pathetic he made her. Like a teenage girl hearing her first compliment from her crush.  

“You truly are the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

She turned around, eyes skimming the clock before going back on him that was sitting on the couch again. “Are you trying to win my heart to get to my pussy?” 

“I was just telling you how much I love you,” he pouted before making her sit on his lap. “One kiss before you go?” 

She leaned in, kissing him with the intention of pulling back soon after but it was like Jeno was drawing her in, and in a second her hands were in his hair while his caressed her back. She really should’ve pulled back but instead, her body turned to him and when her hips started grinding against his lap, the groan that rolled out of Jeno’s lips was the last straw that made her change her mind. 

“You’re not going anywhere tonight,” he moaned, lifting her up, and flipping her body against the couch. 

His hands were fast on her body, lifting the pink dress over her shoulders, leaving her half exposed to him. 

“Gonna give you a good reason to make you stay here every time, so you don’t even think about going in a dirty, shitty disco club.” 

Her head rolled back, ashamed at how hot she found him and his voice. Ashamed that she found him so attractive when he turned so protective. 

“Jeno,” she cried out when he wrapped his lips around her covered cunt, wetting the panties as he sucked her lips and pulled away with a loud pop. “White lace, wore this for who? Some average man that doesn’t know how to fuck you right?” 

She shook her head, trapping her lip in her teeth when he started to rub her clit through the underwear. “For you.” 

“For me?” He snickered, tilting his head to the side. “And you were going to leave me?” 

“When I — when I came home,” she whined, rolling her head back in reaction to his mouth wrapping around her again. His slick soaking the panties with every rough movement of his tongue and lips working in sync. 

“They were already wet,” he hummed against her, nose rubbing against her clit, sparking fire into her. “Should be glad I added to mess to hide how desperate you are.” 

“Nngh,” she blubbered, nails scratching the sofa, moving her feet messily to get rid of the heels so she could plant herself on the surface under her. 

“That’s it, just moan for me, no need to answer. You are desperate. Always have been, always will be.” Jeno’s fingers pressed against her entrance, the cold of the wet panties sticking to her skin making her shiver even more, adding to the teasing of her hole begging to be filled and sucks on her clit. 

“You — you’re messy,” she breathed out, looking down at Jeno and how wet she was down there. 

“I am messy?” He asked, chuckling, pulling away, ripping the panties off her before facing her cunt again. “This,” he collected the cum dripping out of her, “it’s not mine. But if you want I can add to your mess,” he smirked before spitting loudly on her clit. Her head rolled back, eyes squeezing shut and lips parting open. “I will give you that we are messy.”

No reply came from her when he restarted where he had stopped, eating her out loudly and intensely. Strong hands wrapped around her thighs and ass to keep her spread open and deep moans vibrating through her body making her stomach twitch. 

It wasn’t possible to hold back the pleasure, so strong it was almost painful as he kept torturing her clit with sucks and licks, riding the waves of pleasure until she was left hiccupping on moans and sobs. 

“Jeno,” she screamed out, hands pushing on his head to pull him away. Shame creeping on her body when he lifted his head and his chin was covered in her juices.

“Fuck, I — I need to warn them I won’t go,” she breathed hard, lifting her upper body up, and turning around to look for her phone. 

“Searching for this?” Jeno asked, pulling it from behind him where her small black bag laid. 

She hummed, shaky hands searching for her friends’ contact as soon as she could and she was about to do it if only Jeno didn’t slip two fingers inside her, phone falling badly on her chest as the grip on it loosened. 

“Jeno, please.” 

“Text your friends,” he ordered, pumping his fingers faster. “Tell them you can’t go because getting fucked is so much better than dancing with them all night. Tell them how badly you need me and my body.” 

The moan that rolled out of her lips was embarrassing, a natural affirmative response to his dirty insinuation. 

“I — I need to come up with — fuck — an excuse,” she cried, fingers typing out words before she cancelled them over and over again. 

“No excuses baby, tell them the truth. Tell them how desperate you are. Tell them how you started grinding on me like a bitch in heat.” 

“Fuck,” she moaned. Swiftly typing, ‘can’t come, period came before the due day, hurts like hell.’ 

“Did you tell them?” Jeno asked and she could feel the smirk on his face even if her eyes were closed. “No? You don’t want them to know? Want to keep this a secret all to ourselves?” 

“Yes,” she breathed out, hips jerking against his palm. “Need you.” 

“Oh, I know you do,” he cooed, pulling out to slap her clit sharply. “Dripped all over my hand, stained my new couch with your arousal.” 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, trying to say more before Jeno cut her flow of air, slipping into her cunt with no warning. “Jeno, fuck,” she cried out, eyes wide open, staring down where they met. 

“Didn’t you want this?” 

She nodded, trapping her lips so tight it started bleeding. “Yeah, yeah.” Her head rolled back since he immediately started with powerful fast strokes, pushing her legs flat against her chest, sliding into her deeply. 

“You’re so pretty when you look like a mess under me, bunny. No trace of that innocent girl you used to be,” his voice was deep, rumbling in her ears while he lowered to mark her neck. 

“Do-don’t…” 

“Don’t?” He snickered. “Don’t want me to mark you? Don’t want people to know you’re mine?” 

She mumbled no sense. 

“As I thought, it’s not your place to think, bunny. I got it. I know what’s best for you, fuck,” he groaned, sinking his teeth deep into her skin, ripping a scream out of her throat. “Gotta make sure nobody comes close to you, baby girl.” 

“I — I wouldn’t let them,” she whimpered, back arching when he started thrusting into her harder. 

“I know, you’re my good bunny, aren’t you? You know who you belong to. Who do you belong to?” 

“You, I — I — fuck — belong to you.” 

“Good bunny, good fucking bunny,” he groaned before he kissed her again, roughly and messily, pushing her legs up, hips slamming against her ass with loud sounds that resonated in the whole room. 

“Jeno,” she screamed, pleasure fucking her brain just as hard as he was fucking her physically. It was true she didn’t have anybody but him, her ex aside, but fuck, he was so good, he knew exactly what she wanted and needed. It wasn’t possible to resist it. 

“Wanna come? Already?” 

She moved her head swiftly, threads of moans slurring out of her lips as the knot on her stomach tightened incredibly hard. 

Jeno groaned, “Fuck, you’re so perfect taking my cock, bunny. So, so good for me. Come for me, come for me, do it,” he urged, rubbing her clit, making her body still as the orgasm hit her hard. “Fuck,” he growled, head falling in the crook of her neck. “Always so fucking tight and warm.” 

She didn’t reply, no more air in her lungs to emit a single sound but it seemed that Jeno wasn’t done at all. 

“Come here,” he ordered, pulling out and moving her so that her elbows were resting on the couch back rest. 

“What — what are you doing?” 

“Fucking you again.” 

“A-agai — fuck,” she gasped when his cock eased into her swollen cunt another time, pushing out a disgusting amount of cum and stretching her sensitive walls more. 

“I can’t let your night go to wasted with just one round, bunny.” 

She hummed, head falling limp in front of her, body trembling because it was the third round technically and she felt weak in the knees. She wanted to whimper how good it was, but she could only cry out moans and whimpers, the position too good, sending the waves of pleasure straight to her brain like electric shocks, knocking her out. 

“You love it when I fuck you like this, don’t you?” She hummed. “I know, bunny, I know. Feels so good, doesn’t it? Cock turning you into a brainless mess, you love not having anything to worry about.” 

“Yes.” 

Jeno slapped her ass. “Maybe I should fuck you here.” He spat, saliva dripping on her rim, thumb pressing against the tight hole. 

“Jeno, no,” she cried out, cracking her neck to turn toward him. 

“Don’t want that? Don’t want me to fuck your pretty ass?” 

She shook her head, pussy clenching when he kept pressing on it without pushing past the tight ring of nerves. “Feels wrong.” 

“Oh, bunny, no. You’re with me, it can’t feel wrong.” 

She wanted to articulate more but the thoughts weren’t even forming in her brain. Jeno surely wasn’t going to do it anyway, so she let it fall. But when she felt the tip of his thumb press in she turned around. “Jeno, no.” 

“Just my thumb,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. “Can you take just my thumb? I won’t even move it.” 

Her eyes moved around with rapid movements, shame creeping up on her just at the idea. And he smirked. “Oh, bunny, you think it’s too nasty?” 

She nodded, biting her lips, and drifting her gaze. 

“No, look at me,” he ordered, cupping her chin with his free hand. “It’s not nasty for me, nothing of you will push me away.” 

She blabbered something but it wasn’t a proper answer, more like another useless complain or vain try to make it make sense. 

“Let me take care of you.” When another loud spit sound filled the room, she closed her eyes, too ashamed to focus on what he was doing. Moans choking her when he pushed his entire thumb in, never stopping the hard thrusts of his hips. 

“Was it so — fuck — so traumatic?” 

She shook her head, finding it odd but not painful, somehow feeling his thumb press against her front and rub against his cock that was stretching her wide. 

“I told you, you have to trust me, bunny.” 

“I — I do,” she whimpered, voice almost gone. 

“Touch your clit,” he ordered, head rolling back when she immediately followed the instructions. “That’s my good girl, fuck. Rub it fast.” 

Their moans got louder, the pleasure doubling when she started touching herself, her walls clenching around him tighter, wetness dripping out with every move. 

“Fuck, so tight I can barely pull out of you,” he groaned, jaw clenched and head thrown back, some strands of black hair falling on his forehead. “So good, the best in the whole fucking world, bunny. My perfect girl.” 

The comment got to her head, fingers stopping for a second as it was getting harder to concentrate on anything, even if it brought more pleasure. 

“Please, wanna come,” she babbled, looking past her shoulder to glance at him. 

Jeno pulled out of her ass, grabbing her wrists and holding them together behind her back. 

“Want to come?” 

She nodded swiftly, drool dripping out of the corners of her lips, shamelessly rolling down her chin and dripping on her boobs. 

“Say thank you,” he groaned, pulling her hair back, pressing her flat against his broad chest. “Come on, babe, you can do it.” 

“Tha-thank you,” she cried, “thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

“Fuck,” he groaned, hips slamming against her ass with so much force to leave marks behind. Pace faltering when she clenched around him and came, tight walls squeezing so much they triggered his orgasm too, emptying himself into her with loud moans. 

“Oh, God,” she screamed, clenching her teeth and trying to let her head fall but it was impossible in his firm hold. Feeling another orgasm rip out of her. “Thank you, tha-thank you.” 

Jeno huffed, body collapsing on hers, pressing her against the backrest. “You’re welcome,” he moaned, kissing her shoulder and smirking when he saw her lidded eyes. “You’re so welcome.” 

“Another weekend where you won’t be here?” Ningning asked, positioning the phone better so her friend could see her and not the make-up she was applying. 

“Can you please hire me for this new job, too?” Yeri joked, coming into the frame, and pushing her blonde friend to the side. 

She chuckled, shaking her head at her friends’ antics. “It’s not with the job money.” 

“Your dad?” 

“Nope, not even him.” 

“Oh, God, you have a sugar daddy and you didn’t tell us?” Ningning squealed, sitting better on the bed, almost pushing Yeri on the floor. 

“Shut up, I just won’t be here,” she huffed, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“Are we even sure we’re doing that bbq? It should rain on Sunday,” Yeri commented, watching the weather app on her phone. 

“It’s raining? I should warn Jeno —” She chuckled awkwardly, trying to quickly come up with something to fix her mistake, “he’s driving you there, right?” 

But her friends were already staring at her with an expression mixed with shock, curiosity and incredulity. 

“What are you hiding? Be honest.” 

“Nothing,” she replied, trying to fake her honest voice but they knew her, even if her hands weren’t in the frame they could bet their life she was pulling a hangnail nervously and her anxious nibbling on her lower lip was a giveaway she was lying. 

“Nothing my ass,” the blonde said, placing a closed fist on her hips and glaring at her. “What’s going on between you and your mortal enemy.” 

She licked her lips before sighing undefeated. “Promise you won’t tell my brother?” And those words were all it took for them to erupt in a loud cheer from the screen of their phones. And she couldn’t really resist their questions and soon she found herself explaining them everything — well, partially everything, she surely couldn’t talk about the bet. But she was finally free to rant about her story, too. It was thrilling, she only had one boyfriend all her life and it had been some time before Jeno, so she was never the one going around telling her love adventures. 

“So, he’s been spoiling you all this time and you didn’t tell us anything?” 

“He just takes me on those trips almost every weekend. It’s a nice getaway. He says it’s to stay away from everybody. Just us.” 

Her friends cheered again, complaining how they deserved someone that would spoil them so much too, and also still shocked because he was the last person they expected would treat her like that. “And wait, are you planning on moving in with him?” 

“He asked me to, but technically we’re a secret.” 

“Not anymore,” Yeri exclaimed, pointing between her and Ningning.  

“Well, yes, nobody else knows. And please, keep it like this.” 

“But why? Is this your choice or his?” 

She forced a smile on her face, the whole thing still made her quite said, but tried not to show it. “His, just because of Jaemin.” 

“I don’t think Jaemin would mind,” Ningning said, and Yeri nodded in agreement. 

“I don’t know, he’s so balked about this whole thing…” 

“Maybe you should talk to him. You make such a pretty couple, it’s a shame the world doesn’t get to see it.” 

And with the idea of maybe finally being free in plain daylight, she confessed to him that it slipped and her friends knew. Sure, she knew he wasn’t going to be happy about it, but she wasn’t even expecting this reaction. 

“What do you mean they know?” His tone was calm, scarily calm, the typical one that promised a storm. 

“They were asking why I was away again and one thing led to another and then I brought you up out of nowhere.” The smile on her face dropped when after looking into his eyes she saw they were dark and a furrow was almost connecting his brows.

“You’re fucking absurd.” 

“What? Why are you mad?” 

“Why am I mad?” He asked, a bitter, low, scary, chuckle rolling out of his lips. “You had one thing to do. We had a promise, we fucking swore to don’t tell this to anybody.” 

“They basically dragged it out of my mouth,” she tried to defend herself. “We were talking and you crossed my mind and it slipped.” 

“Yeah, you never do anything thinking about the consequences of it. First, you didn’t mean to dance with Haechan, then you didn’t mean to cut me off your life for a month, and you didn’t mean to always stay late at your job. You never mean it. You just fuck things up. You don’t think about me. And I have to act cool about it.” 

She stood there frozen, chest moving faster as she felt her pulse accelerating. “Why are you…” she stopped, shaking her head. “Okay, half of these things are not my fault or are not real. I fucked this up because I was thinking about you. They asked why I couldn’t be at their bbq and I said I was busy and then Yeri brought up that it was raining and I thought about telling you. It was a whisper but they heard and it’s not my fault you don’t even want to pretend we’re friends. Maybe like that I could’ve hidden it, I could’ve made them believe that your name crossed my mind, but do I have to remind you that people think we hate each other?” 

He snorted. “People think I hate you. Everybody knows you have a crush on me, so yeah, you could’ve found a way to turn this over. But I guess gossiping with your friends it’s better than thinking about our relationship.” 

“I think about our relationship. How is this damaging for us?” 

“Are you for real?” 

She groaned, clenching her fists hard, “Yeah, stop… stop doing this and just answer me.” 

“Your little friends can’t keep their noisy mouths shut, so guess who will find out?” 

She rolled her eyes, head moving back in an exasperated movement. “You grew up with him why are you so afraid of my brother? Are you hiding something? Are you once again hiding something from me?” 

“God dammit. You see, in every fight you do this. You always bring it there. I don’t want people to come between us. I don’t want people to speculate about me and you. I don’t want people that never cared for you to come between us just so they can drag you away from me.” 

“But he’s my brother how could he? He only would do it if he knew something about you that I don’t know about… and it wouldn’t be surprising.” The last words were supposed to be a whisper but nervousness made them come out like a bitter retort. 

“It wouldn’t be surprising?” Jeno asked, raising a brow. “Fine, you know what, tell your friends that just how they found out we’re together they find out we’re done.”

“What?” Her eyes snapped open on him, thinking she heard wrong, that a small thing like that couldn’t lead to this, but there wasn’t a sign of joking on his face. 

“You don’t trust me. You lie to me. Always. You… you don’t love me. Why do I have to be with you like this?” 

“I do, I never said I don’t. Jeno, please, don’t,” she almost screamed when he tried to walk past her. 

He sighed, crossing his arms on his chest and staring down at her. “Then why do you say those things? What would I hide from you? I do nothing but treat you like a fucking princess all day, protect you from all the shit that happens in your life, take you to pretty places to be together, and spoil you some more and you think I have something to hide from your brother, or you. Tell him,” he ordered, making her shake at the coldness of his tone and the tenseness of his jaw. “I said, pick the fucking phone up and call him.” 

“No — no,” she stuttered, backing away, feeling the tears clog her throat. 

“No?” He cooed, tilting his head. “Now you don’t want to? Why? You were so eager to let your brother know you’re dating me, what happened? This is a fucking revenge, isn’t it? He mocked you since he first found out you were head over heels for me and now you have to slap him with our relationship. That’s all I am to you. A vendetta.” 

“What? No, why would you… what makes you think that?” 

“The way you act makes me think that. The way you need constant validation from others because you can’t think with your brain. Once it’s your father and then it’s your friends and then it’s your brother. Why can’t you just enjoy what you live for yourself? Why do you want the whole world to know what you do or who you love? You need them to side with you, right? Were they happy? Were they cheering for you? Do you think they are truly happy for you?” 

She didn’t know what to say, dumbfounded by his attack of words and the emotions she was feeling. 

“They… they are my friends, I… I just wanted to share how good you make me feel.” 

He nodded dismissively. “Sure, they will always have your back, always stick up for you and support you, right? Until you do something they don’t like…” 

“They are not like that, they care about me, they were so happy for us —”

“Yeah, and how long will it take for that happiness to turn into jealousy? How long will it take before they will go around putting weird thoughts in your mind? Making fears and doubts creep in?” 

“They… they—” 

“They won’t ever do it, yeah, I know. You still can’t see who you surround yourself with,” he almost groaned, tugging his hair, irritated. 

“I… I’m sorry,” she whispered, voice trembling. “I will tell them it was a joke, you, you can… we could fight tomorrow if we go with them so they will believe me. I didn’t… I would’ve never imagined it could hurt you this bad or else I wouldn’t have done that…” Her eyes could barely look at him, even if his face had softened all of a sudden, and his shoulders had dropped while he started walking closer to her. She hated being a disappointment and it seemed that with every step she took she would hurt him.

“I’m not mad for me. I’m mad because I know my reputation and what people think of me, and I don’t want their biases to haunt you too. I don’t want their ignorance about my persona to make you fall out of love with me. I don’t want them to drift us away because we deserve each other. You… God, life has been so unfair to you and now that you have a good thing, I’m sure people will try to take it away from you. That’s why I’m so mad. That’s why I wanted you to keep this, us, a secret, your little secret that nobody could ruin and stain with their unwanted opinions.” 

She hummed, bringing her thumb to her lips and biting the skin while looking at the floor, trying to hide that and the tears that were filling her eyes to the brim. 

“Your friends might not do it, I give them the benefit of doubt, but everyone will know, and some other people will love to try to burst our bubble of happiness apart. And I don’t want it taken away from you. You deserve happiness. You deserve to be loved, so loved that… that your heart will explode with how much love you’re feeling. I don’t want people to hurt you.” 

She nodded, falling into his hold. It always ended like this. Her poison and her remedy. 

“I’m doing this for you, bunny,” he whispered, breath fanning against her hair, while his hands caressed her back. “Everything I do is to protect you.” 

There were many reasons why Jeno didn’t want to be public, but one of them was that since their friends knew about them, they were forced to go out together. He couldn’t use the excuse of hating having her so close and not being able to touch her, or kiss her, or even talk to her because technically they couldn’t even stand each other before they dated to convince her to stay at home. 

And so here he was, trying to make his way into a crowd of people, looking for her. She walked away from their booth to get drinks by now more than five minutes ago and he was starting to worry. 

“Where the fuck is she?” Jeno murmured to himself, gagging when someone hit him, sweaty bodies getting on his last nerve. “God, when I find her…” But there she was, at the bar counter, drinks in front of her while a man was talking to her. 

He stared at the scene, trying to calm himself before reacting badly. He couldn’t react there. And he was trying to, he really was. That was until the man’s hands lingered a little too close to her and his eyes bored holes into her, staring at her as if he wanted something more. Something that belonged to him and him only. 

“What the fuck do you want from her?” Jeno’s voice coming out in a growl made her jump, scooting over to give him space to move between her and the stranger. 

“We were just talking,” she replied, confused by his reaction. 

“Just talking? You just don’t see how men look at you, don’t you?” 

“Man, calm down.”

“Don’t give me that tone and don’t look at me like that,” Jeno warned, glaring at the stranger, fist clenching at his side. 

“Getting too heated up for a cheap slu—” he didn’t finish the remark, a punch hit him straight in his face, making him stumble backwards. 

“What the fuck!” The man screamed, touching his aching face in surprise.  

“You watch your mouth before you talk about her.” 

“Nobody wants to steal her from you,” the man replied, the arrogant grin on his face still there. 

“You seemed rather interested.” 

“Her ass is all out man, everyone would want to smash,” he mocked, and Jeno was about to punch him again but she pulled him away, blocking his wrist. 

“Let’s go home,” she whispered, a fight in public was the last thing she wanted to happen.  

“Yeah, go home to fuck her like she has been begging me to… if you can satisfy her.” 

She was about to tell him that she never said those things but Jeno slipped out of her hold before she could do anything. The mess that blew up was enough to make a crowd surround them, their friends included, and Jeno only stopped punching that man when Haechan, Jisung and Mark pulled him away. 

“Man, stop it! Come on, stop it,” Haechan shouted, trying to block him. 

“You know shit about what he said,” Jeno retorted, eyes fuming and chest panting. 

“We should go,” she intervened, shielding his body, hoping nobody there pulled out a phone and filmed a video if they both wanted to have their reputation intact. That was the last thing she needed to get on her father’s nerves more and disinherit her forever. “Jeno, come on, let’s go home,” she said, cupping his face to make him look at her and not at the man behind them. 

“Are you okay?” Ningning asked her, going for a hug, but Jeno’s arm came between them as he moved his girlfriend to the other side. 

“She’s fine, we’re going home,” he snarled, giving a quick glance at the others.

“You won’t even tell us what happened?” Haechan asked, shocked by the way he was behaving. Jeno never backed down from troubles but get into a fight? And for his girlfriend? Haechan had flirted with some of them straight to his face and Jeno never blinked an eye, so what the hell was going on there? 

“It’s none of your business.” And with that, they walked out of there under their friends’ shocked gazes. She could barely follow his hurried steps while she looked back and murmured apologies to her friends. 

The ride back home was silent, music blasted to shut down their thoughts. And she felt grateful for that because she couldn’t hide how scared she was at the moment. Jeno never acted like that, the punches that crashed against that man’s face were hard and full of strength and she wondered what else would’ve caused that reaction in him. 

He didn’t believe what that man told him, right? He wasn’t mad at her, too? She wasn’t sure and she was too terrified to even ask one of the thousands of questions that were tormenting her. Jeno probably had his own version of the story and would’ve never listened to hers, probably he would’ve even blamed her because at the start he had proposed to get the drinks while she waited with the girls, but no, she had to insist and now here they were. 

When the car stopped, she gulped hardly before making her way out, the slam of the driver’s door, causing her to jump in her place. Jeno didn’t even spare her a glance as he walked to the porch, broad shoulders lifted up and head low, jaw tense enough it could cut like a knife. 

She tried to don’t cry, at least to don’t sob like a child, but it was hard when the front door closed behind them and he still didn’t say a word. 

“You — you’re bleeding.” Her voice was shaking, broken by silent tears that were all clogged up in her throat. 

“I’m fine,” Jeno replied while sitting on the couch with his head low. 

So that was it? Acting as if nothing happened? 

“I didn’t tell him those things, I was trying to go back to you when he kept talking to me.” She couldn’t go to sleep with no closure, she couldn’t sleep with him by her side if she didn’t feel safe knowing he wasn’t mad at her. 

The sound that came out of his lips startled her, a laugh? A bitter sigh? She couldn’t describe it, but she couldn’t even get it because there was no reason for anything other than ‘I know, I’m not mad at you,’ to come out of his mouth. 

“If it’s not him, it’s somebody else…” Jeno whispered, head still low, lips pulled in a tight, bitter smirk that she couldn’t see — luckily she couldn’t see, or else it would’ve scared her even more. 

“Who are you talking about? I spent the entire night with you. I thought we were having fun until that happened.” 

When Jeno got up, she took a step back, heart jumping in her throat but he didn’t walk toward her, he didn’t even answer as he made his way to their bedroom. 

She took a deep breath and ran after him. Yeah, ran. Like always. Running after him like they were on a wheel, running until her feet hurt and the pain was unbearable. 

“Jeno?” 

“Leave me alone.” 

“I can’t leave you alone, I didn’t do anything, it’s not fair that we go to bed angry because of a stranger.” 

“It wouldn’t have happened if you listened to me and stayed home,” he remarked while he unbuttoned his shirt, bleeding knuckles staining the white texture. She shivered at how it seemed that he wasn’t feeling any type of pain, before her brain turned its attention to his words. 

“You’re blaming me?” Her brow quirked, and her lips twitched in a confused grin. 

“Who’s the one that always wants to go out with them? Who’s the one that hates spending some fucking time with me alone? Who’s the one that never listens to the other? I told you to stay with your dear friends and let me handle the drinks, but you had to go there, alone. Wearing that skimpy dress that had already attracted too much unwanted attention on you. But you don’t notice, you never notice anything of what goes around you. Too busy dancing and swinging your hips because you have me to protect you and you know it, but then I do, I protect you, and I am the bad guy.” 

Her brain tried to follow him, but he was saying so many things, accusing her, attacking her, defending her, loving her that she didn’t even know what to say or how to feel. 

“We — we were together, I thought you enjoyed it as long as we were together,” she mumbled the only things her brain could come up with, the only things that seemed to make sense.  

“I hate those things.” 

She blinked. He had spent his high school and college years throwing parties, how could he hate them now? But she had no time to dwell over that because his words were falling on her like a rain of arrows, attacking from any side, leaving her too astonished to actually react. 

“But you wouldn’t know. You’re too busy paying attention to your friends that barely know you. They don’t even care about you. Have you seen how they were looking at me because I defended you? They hate you. They don’t think you’re deserving of love and protection. If he said the same things to their faces they would’ve laughed and maybe even encouraged you to leave with him.” 

“Ningning would never, she was worried about me.” 

“She always drags you into these problems first, don’t you see? She convinced you to go to Hyuck’s party and didn’t pay attention to you. She makes you buy all these dresses that bring trouble. She started talking to you seriously again just so she could arrive at Haechan.” 

She stared at him, tears falling down her cheeks silently. “That’s not true. She was in China, of course, she didn’t talk to me just as much.” 

“Good, also licking her ass because licking your father’s not enough.” 

“Leave them out of this,” she tried to fight back, but all the rational thoughts had seemed to slip out of her mind. “And I’m free to dress however I want. If they look at me, they are the disgusting pervs, you can’t get mad at me.” 

“Good, next time I’ll let him touch you, call you a slut, and why not, maybe even fuck you in the middle of the club so you’re happy about it.” 

“I never said any of those things,” she cried, fingers dangling in her hair, feeling at her limit. “Can we please talk?” 

“We are talking, you don’t want to listen to the truth,” he hissed, walking past her to go out but she stopped him. 

“You’re still bleeding.” 

“As if you care about me.” 

She stared at his back in disbelief. How did a night out turn into this? 

“I love you,” she screamed, opening the bathroom door he had closed himself into. 

“Then prove it to me. You almost left me for a month, then you only focused on your job and your new little friend, and now you always spend time with our group of friends. Where am I in your life? Do I even matter anymore?” 

“I can care about you and other people at the same time, it’s not, it’s not like one thing excludes the other, please. Be fucking serious.” She got mad. Voice louder and tone firmer as she gained back some confidence. 

“See, you’re doing this again.” 

“No,” she retorted firmly. “You are doing this. You are the fucking problem. Punching a man in public knowing our families’ reputations could go in shambles, treating our worried friends like shit because you think you have some kind of control over me and then coming to our home and treating me like shit because my life doesn’t revolve exclusively around you. You are insane. Fucking sick in the head.” 

She was done. Head exploding and heart racing for the adrenaline and also for the fear that rushed down her spine when she met Jeno’s eyes. Black. Empty. Before they got back to normal. But she had no time to stay there and watch him going through his usual thousands of different changes.

Rushing back to the bedroom she grabbed her tote bag, opening the closet to put in some clothes for the night, and her phone. 

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Jeno groaned, reaching her at the front door with big steps. 

“To Ningning’s, because she cares about me unlike you!” 

When his hand wrapped around her wrist and with a swift movement he pulled her body from the door she gulped, shaking as she watched him lock the door before facing her again. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said. “And don’t even think that I don’t care about you! Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you are the problem. You never really forgave me about that stupid ass bet so you lead us here. Fighting because you don’t trust me. Screaming because my love is not enough. It will never be enough for you. Tell me what should I do. Tell me what the fuck should I do to show you how much I love you? Do you want me to go to the end of the world for you? Do you want me to climb the highest mountains? Do you want me to kill for you?” 

Her breath got stuck in her throat when Jeno broke down crying, body slumping on the floor, knees cushioning the hit and head low as sobs resonated loudly through his ribcage. 

She let her bag fall to the floor before her body did the same, kneeling in front of him to caress his wet face and meet his broken eyes. 

Jeno had never cried. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, letting their forehead touch and pulling him closer. “I didn’t mean it, I was angry, I wasn’t in me. I would never think that your love is not enough, Jeno. I swear I forgave you, I trust you so much but… but all this screaming and crying and the way…” The way he talked to her. The way he twisted her words and used them against her, words that most of the time she didn’t even say. The way she never knew what to expect from him. All of that and so much more, fucked her up, but she didn’t say it. It was just a dumb fight, they were both tired and it happened. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not listening to you when you worry about me. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I don’t love you enough. I do… I love you so much,” but I also love my friends, “I promise I’ll try to make up more time for you.” 

Jeno hummed, falling apart in her hold, letting her warmth embrace him as tears wet her clothes and the blood still rolled down his hands. 

“Let’s take a warm shower and heal those wounds,” she proposed, lifting his face, wiping away his tears, finding comfort in the way his eyes got back to normal, still sad, but there was no craziness behind them. 

So water was running over their bodies, warming them up and washing away the tiredness and the adrenaline. Her hands combed his hair, massaging them gently before she started cleaning his body too. 

“Is this scar new?” She asked when she reached his back and saw a scar she never saw before, it was a weird place, between his hip and thigh and it wasn’t too big but it looked like it had been sewed badly. 

Jeno shivered when her hands ran there. “It was an accident.” 

“An accident?” She asked, raising a brow, trying to read his expression. 

Jeno only hummed. “I’m fine, I don’t want to talk about it now.” 

“Yeah, it’s okay,” she replied and then finished in silence, but her brain still wondered there, it was an odd place to have a scar, especially if it was given by accident. What could’ve happened? 

But she was too tired to let herself get dragged in that, so after getting out of the shower and dressing up again, she prepared the first aid kit to heal his wounds. 

Jeno stared at her silently, following her fingers delicately moving on his knuckles, disinfecting the skin, cleaning the area, and then applying the band-aids with light pressure so it wouldn’t hurt. 

“You also have some cuts on your face,” she pointed out, facing him, smiling when she saw how he was staring at her. “What?” 

“Nothing,” he replied, voice still broken, coming out barely louder than a whisper. “I love you.” 

She couldn’t hide the smile that spread her lips, and her eyes briefly looked down where his now banded hands were caressing her waist. “Stop it, I have to fix these cuts on your cheeks.” 

“I’m not doing anything,” he smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “Just thinking how lucky I am to have you.” 

“Then don’t scare me away,” she replied lightheartedly, leaning in to kiss him after she placed the bandaid on his cheekbone. She pulled away but Jeno’s lips were on hers again, and his hands moved on her back, pressing her against him. 

“I won’t,” he whispered. “I love you so much it drives me crazy. I never felt something this strong, I never imagined I could feel something like this.” 

Her head rolled back when his lips started kissing her neck and his hips ground up against hers, the top of her pj’s falling on the floor soon after, leaving her chest exposed. 

“I’d hide you away from everything if I was sure that could never make you go through any kind of pain,” he whispered before his lips closed around her hard nipples, looking up at her teary eyes that were already staring at him.

“Then — don’t stop, don’t stop showing me what you feel for me.”

“There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to prove how much I love you.” 

“Is your sister alive?” Ningning asked Jaemin when she finally got him alone for a moment, they were hanging out like usual on Friday at their favorite place but even this time she passed. 

Jaemin raised a brow, “I guess, aren’t you her best friend?”

The blonde shook her head, wetting her lips before talking, “I am, technically, but lately she’s... it’s like she’s disappeared.”

“Disappeared?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, “she almost never answers my texts, as you can see, she never hangs out with us anymore. I mean, I know she’s happy with Jeno but... she never struck me as the type that stops hanging out with her friends when she starts dating. I know her last relationship sucked and this one is like a fairytale but to me it’s odd.”

Jaemin hummed, well, she was his sister, but he never paid much attention to know if this was true. On the other hand, Jeno was truly a dream come true to her, he wasn’t surprised if after years of drooling over him, now that she finally got him, she was so hyped that she locked herself into their golden castle, or whatever their story seemed to be. But he knew Jeno and if he didn’t find it weird for his sister to be so in love, he found it weird how Jeno was so defensive of her. He never cared. 

“Are you worried?”

Ningning took a deep breath, rubbing her temples and then meeting his eyes, “A bit, probably I’m just seeing things because I miss her but I don’t want her to isolate herself.”

Jaemin hummed, “I think she’s just very happy she can finally have him, you know how obsessed she had always been with him.”

“I don’t know... Jeno is acting weird, I’m happy for them, I swear I am, but it’s hard to believe that’s him. We all know about his past.”

Jaemin let out a loud huff, yes, he knew it better than anybody else, and Jeno was never the romantic type. 

“I can dig deeper into this if it makes you feel better,” he proposed, not really knowing why, but maybe just one talk and a beer with Jeno would've cleared their doubts. 

“I’d appreciate, I feel like I can’t reach her lately and I’m worried sick.”

“Flowers?” She asked when she saw Jeno lean against his car, waiting outside of the building where she worked. She couldn’t hide the smile on her face or the way her heart was beating. Lately, he was spoiling her with little things every day, but it still brightened up her day. 

“I saw them and thought of you,” Jeno replied, handing her the bouquet and opening the car door. “Get in,” his voice came out almost harsh but then turned sweet again, “so we can get home faster, you must be tired, right?” 

She nodded, smiling harder, thinking that he was being so sweet, not even seeing that Jaehyun was passing right behind them and was trying to greet her goodbye. She didn’t even look outside, too busy studying the pretty flowers and the scent she loved so much, noticing how prettily they were wrapped in the pink paper. 

“These are my favorites.” 

“I know,” he replied without realizing it. 

“You know?” She raised a brow, staring at him with a perplexed expression, but he was turned toward the window, focused on the street. 

“Yeah,” he coughed, “you told me.” 

She furrowed, trying to remember when, but then shrugged, she might’ve done it during one of her rants about anything and everything.  

“How was your day?” He asked, changing the topic.

“Good, me and Jae are working on a new project together, it’s tiring but exciting.” 

Jeno had to suppress a grunt. He hated the way his name, worse, his nickname, rolled on her tongue. He hated even more that she always found a way to slip him into conversations. This was about her day, not him. And he couldn’t even get what he had so special. He was bland and boring. A quick glance at his social confirmed everything he had to know about his personality after the few times he, unfortunately, had the chance to talk to him. 

“I’m sure you’ll relax at home,” he replied, forcing a smile to form on his face. “I was thinking you should seriously move in with me. Now that everybody knows, you can take all your things and set them in my place. And then we can go and buy new things for the house so it will be truly ours.” 

“Are the flowers to ask me to move in?” She giggled, still smelling their scent.

Jeno chuckled, “I popped the question months ago, bunny.” 

“Yeah, but… it’s such a big step.” It was and she wasn’t sure she wanted to make it, sure, she loved sharing a place with him but what if things didn’t work out? Her father surely wouldn’t have wanted her back, she wouldn’t have had a place to go in case of an emergency.

“Where are you always? Where am I driving to?” 

“Fine,” she gave up, rolling her eyes and huffing out a chuckle 

“When was the last time you stayed at your place?” 

“I had to go back there a few weeks ago, remember? My mom misses me.” 

“She sure does,” he replied sarcastically. 

“Hey! She’s not like my father.” 

Jeno looked at her, raising a brow. “Are you sure about it? Or maybe she pretends she cares about you just so she can control you? She never truly stood up for you, she only cares about the company’s reputation.” 

She opened her mouth to answer but shut it after, she didn’t know how to retort it, or if she could do it. 

“See,” he whispered before bringing the attention back on the road. 

“My parents don’t know about you, though.” 

“You wanted to tell everybody about me but not them? I know them already, you don’t even have to introduce us.” 

“No, but yeah, well, fuck,” she stuttered, throwing her head back. Already feeling the headache, stomachache, and tears caused by a dinner together. “I don’t want to hear my father’s remarks about me.” 

“About you?” 

“Yeah, he will joke and tell you to find something better, you have no idea of the humiliation he put me through when he met my first boyfriend. Why do you think he ran away? My father’s words about me were bigger than any kind of affection he felt.” 

“But that’s not me, my love for you won’t disappear because of your father’s jokes.” 

She sighed, looking out of the window and humming lowly. “Is dinner ready at home?” 

Jeno raised a brow, why was she changing the topic? Didn’t she believe in it?What more he had to do to prove to her that nothing and nobody would’ve changed what he felt for her? 

“There’s a surprise for you.” 

“It’s not my birthday.” 

“I know, bunny. I remember clearly all the important days, trust me. Just wanted to spoil you.” 

“Can you drop me by Jaemin?” She asked, finishing applying the lipstick and ruffling her hair to fix them in place, it was a mess anyway. 

“Your brother?” Jeno asked, coming out of the kitchen, and studying the way she was dressed. 

“Do you know another Jaemin?” She joked, turning around, smiling at him. 

Jeno shook his head. “No, it’s just odd. Do you need something?” 

“He texted me to come over, I don’t know what he wants. Probably something that has to do with dad,” she explained, but the truth was that she didn’t like the tone of the message. If everything was going well since they were public, there was a problem.

Her brother. 

Jaemin had been quite, scarily silent, if she had to be honest. Well, from what she knew. She didn’t dare to bring the topic up with Jeno, scared of whatever answer he was going to give her. 

The idea of Jaemin not even approaching Jeno to ask him to treat her right broke her heart. She didn’t want him to be jealous or overprotective, there was no reason to be anyway, but she still wanted to know that Jaemin cared she was being treated well. 

On the other hand, finding out that maybe Jaemin had snapped and they fought because of her would’ve saddened her more. She didn’t want to be the reason to come between them. 

“I can’t drop you by,” he said, “I have a meeting to be at.” 

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ll take my car.” 

“You should buy another one.”  

She rolled her eyes, “We’ve already talked, I can’t afford it.” 

“It will get you killed one day.” 

She chuckled, “You won’t get rid of me so easily. Bye, see you later.” 

Her old car in terrible condition didn’t get her killed but she kind of hoped it would’ve now that she was listening to what Jaemin had to tell her. 

“You don’t know him!” 

“I don’t know him?” Jaemin scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air. “I grew up with him, I probably know him more than I know you.” Saying that Jaemin was worried was an understatement. He had never seen Jeno act like this, but he didn’t like it. He trusted Jeno, well more or less. He trusted him when it came to himself, but he was the last person he wanted to see her sister with. He couldn’t call himself a protective brother, and probably it wasn’t his place to be worried after the way he acted for ages with her, but he didn’t like this relationship at all. And the conversation he had with Ningning was the last thing he needed to disapprove of it. 

“That’s exactly why you should leave me alone. You don’t know me. How — how can you call me up after ignoring me basically since — since forever to tell me he’s not right for me?” 

“Because he’s not. You’re more than opposite of each other, there’s… there’s no way you two can work.” 

She laughed bitterly, running a hand in her hair and pulling tightly. “We are working out.” 

“God,” he groaned. “You will always be the dumb, hopeless romantic girl that can’t see through rose-colored glasses.” 

“What are you even implying?” 

“Someone like Jeno can’t be with someone like you. He never paid you attention, what happened all of a sudden?” 

She gulped, licking her dried lower lip, and feeling a stab in the back. The bet always running in her brain like a thief ready to steal her happiness at any given moment. But Jeno loved. Jeno had truly fallen for her, it didn’t matter how it happened. They were happy, no matter how different they were. 

“He’s a player,” Jaemin sighed. “He never loved in his life and nobody ever loved him back.” 

She sniffled. “He’s… he’s not a monster. He loves me, and I love him. You can’t judge him for his past.” 

“He can’t love,” her brother snapped, pulling his hair. “And the way he acts around you scares me.” 

She chuckled bitterly, “Now you’re stepping over some lines.” 

“I’m protecting you.” 

She snorted, eyes wide in utter disbelief. “Protecting me? Where were you when I truly needed that? When your friends were laughing at me? When I was the butt of the joke? When they would bully me in the school corridors and you would pass right beside me as if nothing was happening?” 

Jaemin didn’t reply, he should’ve expected she was going to bring that up. And she was right, he was a piece of shit for that, but this was different. He had a terrible feeling in his guts. 

“You never cared about me. Not you, not our parents, nobody. I’ve always been on my own and now you want to teach me some lessons.” 

Jaemin kept quiet, only staring at her while he rubbed his temples. 

“You never cared about me, so why do it now? Why? You don’t want to protect me, you hate seeing me happy.” 

“You’re not happy, he’s tearing you apart,” he retorted. 

“I’m not slapping you and I don’t even know why.” 

“You are always together. You barely even answer your friends’ texts, he… Ningning told me he brings you somewhere every weekend. And he punched a man in a public space risking his reputation for you.”  

She started shaking, that was love. Why was it so wrong that he loved her? 

“He loves me.” 

“Everything he touches turns into ashes; he doesn’t know how to love.”

“What a shame he loves me so much, and he proves it to me every day. I deserve to be happy and he makes me happy, I won’t let you take that away from me,” she huffed, rushing to the door. “And next time, I only want to see you if we’re forced in the same room by our parents.” 

Jaehyun didn’t like Jeno. He didn’t like the way his hand wrapped around her waist so tight he suspected she had marks on her skin. He didn’t like the way words rolled out of his mouth, almost as if he was casting a spell on someone, her. He didn’t like the way Jeno looked at him, as if he was silently daring him, hating him. He didn’t even like how most of the days he was waiting outside, not even letting her have the time to say bye or chat some more after an entire day at work. 

“He’s late, there’s traffic or something,” she huffed, leaning against the wall next to him, shielding her body from the rain under his umbrella. 

“I can drop you home if you want to,” Jaehyun proposed. 

“No, he’ll get mad,” she said, chuckling but her smile dropped when she saw Jaehyun’s quirked brows. “He’s keen to come pick me up, it’s a pamper.” 

But even those words didn’t change the expression on his face. 

“Leaving you out under the rain is a pamper?” 

“He thinks I have an umbrella,” she replied. “But if you need to go I can always ask Johnny if I can get back in —”

“No,” he stopped her. “That’s not the point. I don’t mind waiting here with you. I just… nevermind.” He shrugged, looking at the raindrops splash on the asphalt in front of them. 

“No, what? It never happened before.” 

“It’s not that either. I was about to make an unrequested comment about your relationship so I kept it to myself.” 

“Oh,” she gasped. “Wait, am I the annoying person that talks about her boyfriend too much? I didn’t think I did it so often, I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s not about you either,” he stopped, smiling tenderly at her reaction. Jaehyun found it endearing how she was always so considerate of everyone around her.  

“Hey! Don’t make fun of me,” she joked, faking a pout and nudging him with her shoulder. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologized still grinning. 

“But… what is that about?” After what her brother told her she couldn’t help but panic when people told her how they perceived her relationship with Jeno, but she still wanted to know if it was the same opinion. 

Jaehyun sighed, holding his purse tighter. “It’s not a nice opinion, I don’t think you want to hear it. It probably only comes from my petty, single ass,” he joked but no, it wasn’t because he was single, and petty and hated that she was taken. Jeno gave him weird vibes and he was never wrong about it. 

“You’re lying.” 

“No, I’m not.” 

“Yes, you are. You’re not making eye contact with me, you do that when you’re bullshitting people around.” 

Jaehyun laughed, shaking his head. “Fine, I am, but I still think you don’t want to hear it.” 

“Is it that bad?” 

Jaehyun thought about it. If he was in a relationship he would’ve wanted somebody to open his eyes, but then he realized that wasn’t his place. He barely knew him, he barely knew them together, that was just a big accusation, no matter how real he believed it was. 

“I don’t like him,” he blurted out in an honest confession. 

“That’s it?” She asked, raising a brow. 

“No, but it’s the only thing I can tell you.” 

“What if I wanted to know everything?” 

He sighed. “Fine. He seems… a little… possessive over you. He gave me those vibes the few times he stopped by but also… also from the things you tell me. It’s like he wants to control you, always.” 

Her heart stopped for a moment. That couldn’t be true. Her brother was jealous because he hated seeing her happy and had to screw it somehow. But Jaehyun? Sure, Jaehyun liked her, at least in the past for sure, and maybe he was just mad that he couldn’t get to her so he had to hate on Jeno for no reason at all. 

It had to be that. 

“He cares about me a lot. We’re perfectly fine,” she replied, forcing a smile on her face before turning around, wanting Jeno to come pick her up as soon as possible. 

“Sure…” Jaehyun’s answer got on her nerves but she didn’t reply. 

“You know, maybe you should go. It’s Friday night, I’m sure you have things to do,” she said, moving away from him. 

“You’ll get wet.” 

“I’ll wait under that balcony there,” she reassured him before walking away, not looking back at him, missing the pity written on his face before he turned around and started walking to his car. 

But being alone didn’t help her mind don’t obsess over his and Jaemin’s words. Not even when Jeno finally arrived after more than ten minutes and they were driving home, the silence in the vehicle weighing on her chest. 

Jeno glanced over, eyes moving quickly from the road to her. “You’re off, what happened?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, voice firm even if there was a faint hint of apprehension under it.  

She sighed lowly, battling with herself whether to let it all out or not. “I talked with Jaehyun about something…” 

He raised a brow, fist clenching around the wheel as soon as he heard that name. “About what?” 

“Us.” 

“You talked to him about us?”  

She hummed, looking down, tapping her shoes nervously and playing with the seam of her jeans. “Do you… do you think we’re toxic?” 

“What?” 

“I don’t know, Jaemin told me the same thing, kinda, maybe we are… we are too close to each other.” 

Jeno clenched the wheel tighter, the same anger rising in his blood, his eyes shifting for a second before he forced himself to think straight again. 

“Or maybe people hate seeing others happy.” 

“I don’t know…” 

But trying to keep calm wasn’t easy if she acted like that, how could she let others get inside her head, and heart, so easily? “What did he tell you exactly?” 

“Nothing, just that… you’re… well, you are…” 

“I am?” He urged, losing his patience, finger tapping nervously on the gear. 

“You are…” Obsessed. Possessive. Crazy. Controlling. “…caring.” 

“Caring?” He raised a brow, studying her face, but she was avoiding him, too busy playing with a loose string of her denim pants. 

“Yeah, he thinks you care too much.” 

“He knows shit about me and us. Why don’t you tell him to mind his business, uh? I know how to treat my girl right.” 

“Yeah, I think that too,” she whispered, gulping before turning around to look at the window. 

Jeno cursed internally, knuckles white around the wheel and eyes blank. 

Jaehyun was becoming a problem Jeno didn’t put in his plan. And he was crossing too many lines. 

Jeno had to do something about it. 

She tried to stop thinking about what her brother and Jaehyun told her, just like she tried to ignore the words of her friends, whining about how little time she was spending with them. But her brain always went back there. 

Every single thing that Jeno did, felt amplified. Maybe Jaehyun was right. He did care too much. 

Maybe what she always thought to be love was an obsession. But where the hell did it come from? It didn’t make a lot of sense considering how their story started and how he never acted like this with other girlfriends. She didn’t know much about his past stories, but she knew enough to know that Jeno never cared that much about someone. He never acted like this with anybody else. And if at the start it seemed like a fairytale, she started to suspect it wasn’t. 

She shouldn’t have felt like a thief in her own house but that was what she felt as she tried to look for more clues around the place. But she couldn’t find anything. There was nothing suspicious, nothing that could add to her theory of him being obsessed with her. 

Yet, the sensation couldn’t seem to fade away and she was sure Jeno got that there was something wrong with her. 

She was acting different, almost as if she was pushing him away, but it wasn’t her fault. The more he did, the more it seemed like he was proving her doubts right. 

And even when she went back in the timeline she remembered she felt the same. Jeno had always been caring. Even when it was all a bet, even when they were hidden from the world. It also was never an option, he insisted on picking her up from work, and accompanying her when she went out with her friends, or at medical appointments. He hid behind ‘safety reasons,’ but she wondered if it was truly only that. 

Maybe he didn’t trust her? But why?

“I have an amazing night planned for us,” Jeno cheered, entering their bedroom, wrapping a hand around her waist as she stood in front of the mirror. “I’m taking you out, then I’ll take you to another beautiful place to drink special cocktails and then we’ll come back here and you’ll see what else I have planned for you.” 

She smiled, caressing his hair back. “I’d love to, but did you forget I had a dinner tonight?” 

“A dinner?” 

“Yeah, with my coworkers, I told you. A party that the boss organized since we’re doing so well.”

Jeno knew it but he thought she didn’t want to go. 

“I thought you didn’t want to go?” 

She snorted, trying to mask the same sensation that was assaulting her in the last days, “I never said that.” 

Jeno gulped, watching as she pulled away from his hold to finish getting ready. Long burgundy dress around her body, legs covered by thin thigh-high tights, high heels, and her furred jacket on the chair. Surely too dress up for a simple company dinner. 

“It’s going to be so boring.” 

She shook her head. “No, I’m surrounded by nice people, I’m sure I’m going to have fun,” she said, turning around and smiling at him. “It will be just a dinner and then I’ll come back home.” 

“Do you need a ride?” 

“No, I can take the car by myself.” 

“I can —”

“Jeno, I can drive,” she stopped him, walking out of the bedroom to reach the front door and pick up the keys of the house and the car.  

“Why do you don’t want to —”

“Bye,” she cut him off, kissing him. “Gotta go. Love you.” 

“Yeah, bye. Love you, too,” he slurred, heart clenching in anger because she never refused a ride.  

Jeno didn’t want to follow her. He truly didn’t. He was trying hard to suppress that urge, walking back and forth in the living room, clenching his fists so tight that blood wasn’t flowing there anymore. But he couldn’t help but think about her. It wasn’t even that he didn’t trust her, or that there were other people, it was the fact that there was Jaehyun there too and Jeno was sure he was going to be all over her all night, probably telling some other bullshits about him and their relationship. 

But it wasn’t like he could anything about it, right? He couldn’t get to the restaurant, he couldn’t even be outside. She kept her promises, she would’ve come home straight away and he had nothing to worry about. 

But he had a lot to worry about. 

And when his eyes fell on a crumbled piece of paper with the address on, he took it as a sign of destiny. He couldn’t stay at home. 

When his car pulled in front of the restaurant, he spotted her car parked close to the entry. He couldn’t see inside, he didn’t even want to risk walking on the sidewalk to spy in, the place too elegant to go unnoticed of suspect movements. 

So he waited, and waited, hours passing by slowly. And just when he was about to lose hope, he saw the door open and a crowd of people come out of there. 

And there she was, it was impossible not to notice her, she looked so beautiful, and Jeno smiled at the sight, until he saw that Jaehyun’s hand was placed behind her back and that she was way too close to him. 

“What the fuck are they doing?” He groaned, squeezing his eyes to see better, hoping he was insane and just seeing things, but Jaehyun’s hand didn’t move, worst, it moved lower, and wrapped around her waist. 

“Why aren’t you moving him away? Why would you let him touch you like that?” 

What he couldn’t stand were the laughers, and the continuous talk, why couldn’t the night just be over? Why couldn’t she come home? 

“Finally,” he whispered, slumping in the backseat when the group parted in two and she started walking to her car. But he couldn’t relax for long, his heart started racing when Jaehyun sat on the passenger seat of her car. What was going on?

He hit the honk when he accidentally punched the wheel, he couldn’t see what they were doing, he couldn’t even get why it was taking them so long to start the car. 

‘sorry I’ll be home later. don’t wait for me.’

When the text popped on his screen he wanted to get out of the car, drag Jaehyun out of there and punch him until he was covered in blood, but he couldn’t. So he tried to rationalise the insane thoughts that were filling his brain like loud voices screaming to him his worst intentions. Maybe she had to drop him home, that’s why it would take more, but why couldn’t she just tell him? Why did she have to lie and be so close to him? 

Her car started, sprinting past his, and he started to follow behind them, hoping to go unnoticed. There were some cars around, so he could blend in with the others well without losing them in the late-night traffic. 

He was trying to calm down but when she didn’t drive toward his place his anger started to get harder to suppress. 

“Why are they driving to the Han river?” 

When they parked and walked away, Jeno didn’t know what to do. Following them on foot was going to be much more dangerous but he couldn’t let her go like this. He was terrified something too big was going to happen. 

He was losing count of the time passing as he watched them sit on a bench while eating ice cream and laughing and talking. Jaehyun couldn’t be that funny, could he? Why couldn’t she see the way he was looking at her? Why didn’t that make her uncomfortable? 

‘are you still up?’

Jeno raised a brow when his screen lit up, why would she text him that? But he ignored it, focusing on the view in front of him. A view that was irritating him more and more as time passed. Jaehyun was too close, and she wasn’t stopping him, letting their bodies touch in a way Jeno didn’t like. 

His hand clenched when the other man leaned closer and tried to kiss her, and the only thing that made him feel better was that she pulled away. Jeno could barely make out some faint apologies coming from Jaehyun from the tree he was hiding behind, but that still wasn’t enough. 

Jeno was going to make him pay for that. 

“You?” 

She rolled her eyes, pushing her brother to the side and making her way into his place. 

“Excuse me? What if I don’t want you here? Do I have to remind you of the fight of the other day?” Jaemin asked, still closing the door behind and following her on the couch. 

“It was a month ago…” she whispered, looking down at the floor. 

“And?” 

She raised her gaze to him. “I need to talk to you about Jeno.” 

“Did he hurt you?” Jaemin panicked, reaching for her. 

“Would he?” 

Jaemin stopped in his tracks, “I don’t think so, but you don’t seem happy so you are either mad at him or me.” 

She shook her head, sighing. “I know we’re not winning any best siblings award, but I still trust you and I know you think I’m dumb, and maybe I am but… I need your help.” 

“For?” Jaemin could see her legs bounce nervously, and he knew this was worst than he could even imagine. 

“I feel like I don’t know Jeno at all. And I’m not sure I’m going to like who he really is,” she confessed. 

“Why? Who do you think he is?” He wanted to answer that ‘yes, congratulations! You discovered the obvious. He is not who you think he is,’ but he needed to know what kind of doubts she had. 

She gulped, words crossing her mind, but she was terrified of saying them out loud, once Jaemin knew of her doubts, of all the fears and suspects, her and Jeno were over, and she wasn’t sure she wanted that. And precise as a clock a text grabbed her attention. 

‘There’s the fair back in town, are you free tomorrow?’ 

She blinked a tear away and then looked at her brother. “I just… I feel like he can’t open up with me, and I wondered if he was the same with you, or if I’m the problem.” 

Jaemin raised a brow, staying silent for too long, feeling that wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. 

“Did he text you?” 

She nodded. “We’re going to the fair tomorrow. Where it all started.” 

“Are you sure this is a good thing?” 

“What?” 

Jaemin sighed, sifting uncomfortably in his place. “You and him. I still don’t get how you ended up together, I know you took it as an attack and I… I also get that I should be the last person to worry about you but you two have nothing in common. How does it work?” 

She bit her lip, avoiding his gaze. It worked, somehow, in her fantasy, in her delusion. It worked because she kept falling for his fool’s gold because at the end, maybe, everybody was right, she was dumb and madly in love, and that is never a good combo. 

Jaemin took a deep breath, reaching for her hand, making her look at him in surprise. He was never physical with her, avoided her like plague so much she couldn’t even remember the last time her brother touched her. 

“Are you running after a teenage dream?” 

“Why do you always have to think that I’m the stupid girl madly in love with him?” Because you are, she replied instead. Because you will always be. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt. You loved him for so long without truly knowing him I fear you fell for an idea in your brain.” 

She pulled away and stood up. “I know him. We’ve been together for almost a year that is not the problem. I’m not the dumb one. Things are fine, they are — they are great it’s just…” I’m afraid. “I don’t want this to break, I don’t want this spell to end because I’m fine with him. We’re good. We…” She sighed, maybe Jaemin was the last person she should’ve spoken to. Maybe she should’ve talked to Jeno directly. 

“I have to go now.” 

“Wait,” Jaemin stopped her. “I can tell you what you need to know about him.” 

“Trust me, you can’t.” 

“Were you at home the other day?” After beating around the bush, she finally found the courage to talk to Jeno. The sound of the food frying in the pans in front of her was actually annoying as it filled the silence when no words came out of Jeno’s mouth. 

“The other day, when? Can you be more specific?” 

“When I went out for dinner with my colleagues.” 

Jeno hummed, shrugging, stopping from scrolling on his socials, “Yeah, why?” 

She breathed deeply, shaking her head before giving him her back again. “Nothing, just wondering.” 

“Are you the only one allowed to have fun?” He stood up, reaching her side, two fingers caressing her cheek gently. 

“I never said that.” 

“No, but I don’t get the random question.” 

“And the day after? You didn’t pass by at work, where were you?” 

“I told you I couldn’t come, bunny. I had a thing to do.” 

“Yes, but what? You never let me take the metro alone.” 

Jeno scoffed and she quirked a brow. 

“What’s funny?” 

He shook his head, leaving her side, but she had no intention of letting the conversation drop. 

“Am I lying? You say it loud and clear.” 

“Yeah, and I also know that you don’t take the metro for some months now.” 

Her eyes widened, and it got harder to swallow the saliva as she stared at him. 

“I saw Jaehyun drop you by weeks ago,” he said calmly. “I’m not worried about the metro because I know you have him and he would never let you ride that.” 

“You don’t even like him,” she chuckled bitterly. 

“As long as he has your back and knows his place, I’m fine with his existence.” 

“Somebody attacked him,” she blurted, trying to study Jeno’s expression, she didn’t like what her thoughts were suggesting her for some days but she couldn’t sleep at night with those doubts. Jaehyun was avoiding her, he didn’t even greet her anymore, he barely explained what happened and she had to put the pieces together by asking Johnny what was going on. She heard that whoever attacked him told him to ‘keep his distance from what wasn’t his,’ and she could only think about Jeno. 

“Oh, on the metro?” 

She was taken aback by his answer and shook her head. “No, out of his house. They almost fractured his nose and he has a broken arm.” 

“Really? Shit, were they trying to rob him?” 

“They threatened him.” She kept her eyes locked into his, more shivers turning her skin full of goosebumps. Jeno was impassible, deep down his concerned frown she could see there was no glint behind his eyes. 

“See, that’s why I don’t trust him around you. He must be in a bad circle or something. The place he lives is nice, why do those kinds of people only attack him?” 

“Jeno,” she breathed out, voice shaking and tears menacing to fall. “Was it you?” She expected a bigger reaction but not that. The calm behind his eyes and voice, terrified her more than his outburst of anger did. 

“Me?” He only replied nonchalantly. “You think I’d ever hurt somebody?” 

She started crying, “You said you would kill for me.” 

“Is it a bad thing?” He asked, walking closer to her, reaching for her hand, shaking like a leaf. “You know I’d never hurt you.” 

“But others? Would you kill for me? Would you… would you ever hurt somebody?” 

Jeno didn’t reply but somehow that silence had all the answers she didn’t want to have. He would. And he did. It surely had been him. 

“Why — why would you do that to him?” 

“Do what?” 

“Beat him? He has wounds all over his face, he doesn’t even look like himself.” 

“Why do you care what he looks like? Do you like him?” 

“No, we’re not doing this,” she replied, shaking her head and walking backwards, hands in front of her as if she could stop him from vomiting out words that would’ve pushed her down a spiral of madness. 

“Yes, we are. Because you’d rather accuse me, your boyfriend, of something like that, rather than come to terms with the fact that probably your bestie from work is not who he tells you to be.” 

“You don’t know him.” 

Jeno scoffed. “Should’ve taught a lesson to you, instead.” 

“What did you say?” She asked, unsure she had heard right. Hoping she didn’t because at this point lies were better than what seemed to be the truth. 

“Nothing.” 

She groaned, slamming a hand on the table. “Why can’t you just be honest for once? You always lie to me.” 

“I never lie to you.” 

“I won’t tell him if you did it but just confess to me and we’ll work it out. If there are some problems in our relationship we can fix them.” 

“You are the problem in our relationship.” 

She gasped before her body started shaking even more, voice vibrating full of fear, insecurity and sadness. “What?” 

“You and your lies and the way you keep listening to everyone except me. No matter what happens, no matter how much things have nothing to do with me, you will always find a way to blame it on me.” 

“I —”

“Shut up,” he cut her off harshly. “I know you talked to Jaemin,” he scoffed. “He never gave a fuck about you. He treated you like shit and the first second we falter, you run in his arms to make me the villain? That’s why you needed him to know, right? Why do you hate me so much?” 

“I don’t hate you. What did he tell you?” 

He laughed, but it wasn’t a familiar sweet sound, it was mocking like a sharp slap straight to the cheek. “Afraid he spilled more than you wanted to reach me, right?” 

“I barely talked about you.” 

“It doesn’t matter what he told me, honestly, he was nice, I got by his weird talks that whatever he was ranting about was coming from you. But you need his words, right? You have me right here and you go ask anybody about me except me. You don’t like me. You never liked the real me. You hate I’m not whoever is in your head.” 

“Please, not this again. I do, I love you so much. I… I…” 

“You what?” He screamed, scaring her, back hitting the wall as the tears started flowing down her cheeks. “God, here we go. Crying like a baby just like when you were a fucking child.” 

She didn’t answer, only wrapped her arms around her body and looked at the floor. This was just like when she fought with her father, or with Jaemin when they were younger and he picked on her for any reason. It was a knife piercing deep into the old wound and twisting with cruel indifference. 

“Fucking answer me! You’re not throwing the rock and then hiding your hand. Ruining our weekend to defend your work boyfie.” 

“Don’t call him that…” 

“No? And what should I call him? Why don’t you run to him? Go, the door is there and I’m sure he’s waiting for you.” 

“He doesn’t talk to me anymore all because you scared him away,” she snapped just to regret it right after. The furious look on Jeno’s face was the last thing she wanted to see. 

“You’re just an ungrateful bitch,” he spat out, turning around angrily. “You don’t deserve anything of what I do for you. This place, defending you from your father, risking my relationship with your brother, hanging out with your friends, dropping you by and coming to pick you up every day from work, spoiling you with small vacation and dresses. But most importantly, you don’t deserve my love. You deserve to be left in the misery you were when you crawled to me on your knees. I should’ve treated you like shit like everybody else always did with you, you would’ve appreciated that more. But here you are.” 

“Jeno, please.” 

“Shut up,” he replied sternly. “And leave.” 

“What do you mean, leave?” 

“What it means? Are you that fucking dumb you don’t know what words mean?” 

“I… I think this is escalating, I didn’t, I didn’t mean this,” she blabbered, a mess on her face as the sobs got louder, too much spit menacing to spill out of her mouth in a pathetic drooling mess. Feeling the floor fall through right beneath her feet, free falling.  

“You never mean it. And I’m tired of your words, of your lame excuses.” 

“No, no, wait,” she said, reaching for him, but he pushed her away. “Tell me what I did wrong and we can fix it.” 

Jeno laughed. “You don’t trust me. And instead of working on it, you just proved to me more and more every day that you’d let other people’s opinions come over your love for me, just like I told you. But I was paranoic back then, wasn’t I?” 

“But this time it’s not words…” 

“What if I did it? What if I beat him and what else did they do to him? Broke his arm?” 

She nodded, lips quivering, brain pulsing for how hard she was trying to keep herself afloat.  

“Would you leave me if I did that?” 

She didn’t reply, gulping hard, blankly looking into his eyes to see if that was a confession or not. 

“Yes, you would, so why would I risk losing you for him? What do I get from beating him?” 

“But he doesn’t talk to me anymore,” she cried, breaking down in another loud sob. Hoping he would open his arms and hold her in, and save her again from the death he pushed her toward. “Nobody else would threaten him over me.” 

“Who said they threatened him over you?” 

“But why wouldn’t he talk to me?” She sniffled. 

“Because people are shit. They use you until they can get what they want from you and then leave you there. Didn’t he have a crush on you?” 

She hummed, rubbing her arms with her palms, sinking her nails down her skin through her clothes to stay grounded.

“And did you ever flirt with him or gave him a hint of giving him a chance?” 

“Of course not, I have you. I love you.” 

“I know, and don’t you think he knows it too? Don’t you think he’s mad because he sees how strong our relationship is? Wasn’t he filling your brain with stupid doubts to make us fall apart?” 

“He wouldn’t…” 

“He wouldn’t? Bunny,” Jeno cooed, caressing her wet cheek. “Men are trash. You don’t know the things they would do just for some sex.” 

“But he’s different… we were friends. I liked spending time with him.” 

“I know, bunny, I know,” he said, pulling her in his arms. “That’s why I’m mad I can’t protect you from the world. I try to, but you don’t listen. You wanted to trust him and here you are, crying because he just wanted to get in your pants and as soon as he realized he couldn’t, he dropped you out of his life.” 

She didn’t answer, only sobbed harder in his chest, arms weakly holding his waist. 

“For how sick he is, he might’ve also hurt himself to make you believe I’d do something like this.” 

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” she said, pulling away. 

Jeno caressed her cheek. “But I need you to trust me, bunny. We can’t go on like this.” 

She nodded. “But you need to trust me too. I love you, I truly do. I don’t care what people say, but I… never mind.” She took a step back before turning around, wiping the tears with the back of her hands, and then walked into the kitchen again, hoping the food didn’t burn, not that she had any appetite left. 

But when her hands placed on the countertop after turning the fire off, she just cried, shaking and sobbing while Jeno stared at her, leaning on the door frame. The silence was louder than any words. They both knew they were walking on a fragile line and it was bound to break. No amount of sick games and lies was going to save them now. But leaving it as a thought was better than saying it out loud. It was safer than starting another fight where maybe none of them would’ve come out alive. 

“We should leave,” Jeno was the one to break the silence, “just for a while. Detox from everything.” 

She didn’t answer, sniffling harder while she held her body close. That wasn’t going to make things better. She knew she should’ve shut things up a year ago, the bet should’ve been a red flag big enough to tell her this wasn’t going to work, but she ignored it, and now she was paying the consequences. Because loving Jeno had always been like this, a rollercoaster with no seat belts. She felt shivers run down her spine when his arms wrapped around her and his chin rested on top of her shoulder.

“I hate when we fight, I really do.” His hot breath on her skin made her feel uncomfortable, it was like the spell ran out of its magic and all of this lost its spark. Like Cinderella, nothing of the fancy dress or the carriage was left, just a scattered pumpkin on the cold ground, but in this case, the pumpkin was her.

“Why aren’t you answering? Why do you act like this?” 

“Please,” she begged, lifting a hand to her ears when he raised his voice, wanting to shut him out. “I’m tired, I’m — I’m exhausted. I can’t, I’ve had thoughts running in my brain for days and I can’t shut them off, I don’t know how to make them stop, I can’t make this pain go away.” 

But it was like Jeno couldn’t get it and thought that everything could’ve been easily fixed. 

“Don’t kiss me,” she said, squirming away, slipping out of his hold. 

“Are you mad at me still? I thought you were mad at him two seconds ago and now you’re turning against me again?” 

“I’m not turning against you,” she retorted. “The world doesn’t turn against you just when a small thing doesn’t go in your direction, I’m… I need some sleep.” 

“No,” he stopped her. “I don’t want to go to bed without resolving this. Why do you pretend?” 

“I’m not pretending, I can’t talk to you because everything turns into a fight. And… I don’t like listening to what other people say about us but maybe they are right, why can’t you just… let me go?” 

“Let you go?” 

She hummed, barely finding the courage to hold his gaze. “Don’t be so protective over me.” 

Jeno’s features were tense and she didn’t like it. 

“Fine,” he whispered. “Maybe we should take a break.” 

She let out a scream of exasperation, why did her every word have to be twisted into something else? “I didn’t say that.” 

“But I did. I can’t take this just like you can’t. I proposed to leave, put the stress to the side and then come back, but you still doubt me.” 

“Leaving will just push our problems back.” 

“What problems? Because we were fine until you brought him up accusing me of hurting him for some kind of… of what? Revenge? Threat?” 

“So it’s my fault?” 

“Yes, it is, we were supposed to eat and go to the amusement park like one year ago, and here we are. Over.” 

“We’re not over, don’t say that,” she huffed, feeling a terrible pain in her chest just hearing that. “We can still go, we can… we can.” 

“You’re tired, go to sleep.” 

She squeezed her head, brain about to explode in confusion, vision blurred because she had no idea what the right path to take was anymore. There wasn’t even a path to follow, just a land of fallen leaves where traps hid underneath, and with every step, she could’ve tumbled inside. 

“My problem is that I think you are too protective of me.” 

“Too protective? Can you please tell me how? The last time we talked, you were lucky you had me, what changed?” 

“I am, I feel safe around you but… I feel like you don’t trust me. It almost seems as if I am a child in your eyes, and I don’t know what to do with myself.” 

He scoffed. “Caring for you makes you feel like that? You know why it does? Because nobody took care of you when you were a child. Because your brain wished somebody took some weight off your shoulder when you were younger, and you’re not used to other people helping you instead of leaving you in the shit. I know that you, more than Jaemin, had to raise yourself on your own. I was there when you always knew how to get out of a situation. You were never dumb, silent maybe, introverted, shy, clumsy, making everything that you touched break or fall or trip directly yourself but fuck, you were never dumb. You… you have always been so fucking interesting and I,” he sighed. “I envied you so much. Because growing up on my own without my father having my back didn’t make me come up like you. You’re right, I’m a mess, and I’m not half of what you are. Why do you think I hated you? I wanted to break you down so badly. But it seemed like the more people would push you to the floor the more you would bloom, and it was always so subtle, so sneaky, you were a master at getting unnoticed and I wanted to be like that so bad. But instead of pushing me away, you attracted me so much, still, no matter how much I studied you, I never got your tricks. I still don’t, not even now. I have no idea how you didn’t turn into a monster, and I do fear I’ll turn you into one if you stick with me. And I try, I try so hard to be the best version of myself, I don’t even realize when I fuck it up but the idea of losing you, kills me. It kills me. And I’m afraid because I… I know that if only you took a glimpse inside of me, of my true self you’d be terrified and you’d run away. God, you already want to run away.” 

She blinked, staring at him with a curious expression, his defences crumbling down like a house of cards. “You noticed me? I wasn’t invisible for you?” 

Jeno sighed, tears rolling from his eyes again, slipping on the floor. “You haunted me. I saw myself in you. And I wanted to destroy you as much as I wanted to destroy myself.” 

She gulped, sitting in front of him. Well, at least now it all made more sense, all the pain he put her through, all the wasted years and tears. “It doesn’t seem really nice.” 

“I have very bad coping mechanisms,” he shrugged, a bitter smile on his face as he stared at her, dried tears marking her beautiful face. 

She reached for his hand, caressing the palm. “Don’t you think we all hide a bad side of us?” 

He shook his head, pulling away. “You wouldn’t get it.” 

“But if you said that I’m the better version of you, how can I not?” 

“Because you are the good I don’t have.” 

“Shut up, you’re an amazing person, why would you say those things now?” 

“It’s not about being a good or bad person, it’s about having scars that healed in a terrible way and having prices to pay because of them.” 

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” 

“Am I better in your head?” He asked, tilting his head to the side, voice clipping in his throat. “The version of me that lives there, he’s fine, isn’t he? Maybe he’s just like you.” 

She stared at him, trying to read him deeper, to push past those walls she believed he had pushed down, but they were still all there, too tall to even think about climbing them. “I don’t understand you, Jeno, I… I don’t know if I’m tired or if you’re just saying nonsense but… it’s confusing.” 

He smiled, cupping her cheek. “That’s why I told you, you can’t get it.” 

“Where are you going?” She asked when he got up and walked to the door. 

“Out,” he replied calmly as if they weren’t having breakdown after breakdown, always collected as if nothing fazed him, not even when he was the one underwater gasping for air. 

“No, please, I don’t want us to be alone.” 

He turned around, staring at her standing with her fingers playing together. Jeno gulped, looking down before leaning against the door, and inhaling deeply. The images of the fights of before were burning in his brain like a wildfire that had no intention to stop, her wet cheeks, her eyes full of fear, trust faltering, her screams and her words, he was the monster he wanted to protect her from. 

When Jeno started sobbing she rushed to him, holding him in her arms. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, apologizing for things she didn’t know. Cursing himself for being so dumb once again, for hurting everybody even when he wanted to protect them. Hating himself because he was never going to learn. “I’m so sorry.” 

She caressed his face, shushing him with small kisses. 

“I don’t deserve you,” he said, pushing her to the side, running to the bathroom, locking himself in. And if only she didn’t see his eyes being empty and blank again, she wouldn’t have felt that weird warning sensation in her gut. 

“Jeno, open the door,” she screamed when she felt an alarming silence interrupted by sobs and objects falling on the floor. “Jeno, please,” she screamed louder. “I’m here to help you.” 

“I don’t need your help, you don’t know… you don’t.” 

“Jeno, I don’t care, I don��t care about what had been, but I care about you. You are not your scars.” 

“Yes, I am. I am fucked up in more ways than you could even imagine. I’m so toxic for you and I… I’m so selfish because, fuck,” a groan of pain stopped him. “I can’t be without you, I can’t. I want you so bad because it’s so easy to fool myself I can be like you, that if you chose me there must be something good in the mess I am, and I,” another groan, louder this time, reached her outside of the room, but when nothing followed, she started panicking more. 

“Jeno, what are you doing?” 

Nothing. 

“Jeno,” she banged against the door, screaming and crying, “open, please, please don’t do anything dumb.” 

Only after a few seconds he opened, heart on his knees when he noticed the state she was in, the state he put her through. And his heart sank even more when she fell into his arms once seeing he was fine. She loved him too much. 

“I hit him.” 

“What?” She asked, pulling away. 

“I hit Jaehyun, I slashed his tires, I even spied you one night, more than once. I followed you when you went out the other night.” 

She stood there, frozen in her tracks, shaking. The realization falling on her like a cold shower. 

“No, you didn’t. We’re both tired, we need some sleep.” 

“No, I did it. The scar on my thigh? I hurt myself while hiding after slashing his tires and I had to fix it myself.” 

She was speechless, feeling like she could pass out. It couldn’t be true. Yes, she feared it was for weeks by now, but it couldn’t be true. Why was he even confessing? Why couldn’t he keep lying? He was so good at it, and she loved falling into those lies. 

“But why?” Her voice came out like a tremble, salty drops dripping down her face, she couldn’t calm down. 

“Because I’m terrified of losing you.” 

“But what made you even think I would leave you? I… I loved you when you treated me like shit, how could I don’t love you now?” 

“It’s my brain, it’s… it’s the fact I’m never worth more than a fuck for nobody, it’s because I’m bad at love and I’m only good at tricking people into me and manipulating them. It’s because I didn’t learn anything else in my life.” 

“I…” She couldn’t find words to say, she had so many things to let out but they made no sense. Nothing made sense. He was capable of that? Of hurting the people she loved? He spied her? So that night wasn’t a coincidence? Trying to put together all the pieces was driving her insane, and the more she did, the more the picture looked blurry. 

“You were the only one that never looked at me up and down. The only one that never judged me for anything. The only one that truly stood by my side. No matter how much I mocked you for it, or pretended I didn’t notice. I still have all your birthday cards, the ones I always laughed about in front of our friends. I have the Halloween costume you sewed for me when you took your sewing class. I have the small notes you would leave in my bag every time I stayed over with your brother. I have everything.” 

She tried to breathe but it was getting impossible and she leaned against a wall. It was like the world was spinning at light speed and she had no ground under her feet. It was like a Ferris wheel falling to the ground and having nothing to save herself with. 

“So why did it have to take a fucking bet to get to me?” She cried out, voice full of anger but it still didn’t quite come out, too mixed with the disappointment. It all could’ve been so much easier. 

“Because I was in denial. I thought I loved the attention you gave me, the — the pathetic kind of love you felt for me made me feel so fucking important. I believed I could bathe in it and then jump out free once I was done with you. Using you like any other person but then… then you made me discover what love truly is and I couldn’t stand it.” 

She hummed, a small, crooked smile curling her lips. How could she even react to all of that? “But you still love the power you have over me, don’t you? That’s why you’re here, you know I’ll always come back. You know I’ll let you trap me in a cage if it meant being with you, so why this? Why hurt the people I love?” 

“Because I don’t know how much your love for me will make you come back. I… I thought that if I made you feel safe with me, if I cut other people out, you… you wouldn’t have seen how terrible I am.” 

“Then why are you confessing?” 

He lifted his head up, glossy, red eyes meeting hers, nothing but a brown pool of sadness, rancor and so many other emotions she couldn’t point out. “Because I need to be honest with you before you’ll leave me like everybody else.” 

She sat on the floor, legs too tired to support her body, and stared at him, crying and shaking, mumbling apologies, bleeding on the floor since something must’ve cut his hands by mistake. It was another red flag, wasn’t it? A warning as big as a house that was screaming at her to leave now, before it truly was too late. But she also thought of the man of before and how he was trying to manipulate her, how easy it was for him to do it, and now he was confessing all his crimes. And the same questions that assaulted her when he was begging on her knees to forgive him for that bet were filling her brain again. What was he gaining from this? Why did he fight so hard to keep her? But this time she knew he couldn’t have anybody else, that the whole façade of him being a fuckboy was as fake as everything else she had believed lately. He didn’t grow to love her. He always did. Did he? Or did he love the power and the tears and begs and screams? 

After all, it was them. It had always been them. It was falling. It was death, by his side, and it wasn’t sweet or tragically romantic.

She sighed, resting her chin on her bent knees. 

He had done everything to prove her how much he loved her like he had promised. He had done too much. 

“You want me to leave you?” 

Jeno nodded, feeling his heart clench in his chest just at the idea of lifting his head and not seeing her anymore, but that was just another price to pay, he deserved it. 

She pursed her lips together, staring at the floor blankly. She wanted to ask him questions, if he ever got himself checked up for something, if there was something he could do to fix this instead of hurting himself and the people he loved, but she didn’t. 

“I want you to take me to the amusement park tomorrow.” 

He raised his head, shocked to even hear her voice and see that she was still there. 

“I think me and you have to start brand new.” 

He shook his head. “I can’t change. And before I’ll hurt you too, I want you to leave.” No, he didn’t, he could barely survive a month without her, he didn’t even want to imagine an entire life like that, but he had to.

She moved closer. “Maybe instead of pushing the problems back, you could face them?” 

“Drop it,” he warned, but she didn’t listen. 

“I don’t know anything about love, nobody taught me anything about it either. But I guess love is taking care of the people you love, right? I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m here, Jeno. I’m standing close to you after you confessed you stalked me and threatened one of my friends. If I was like anybody else I would not only be out of that door but I would probably be at the police, suing you. But I’m here. I’m here because I listened to you before and I think that maybe there’s a reason why you’re like this, and you can fix this. You don’t heal from the pain of the past, nobody and nothing fills certain voids but instead of letting them drown you and take opportunities away from you, there are ways to walk past them and move forward.” 

He didn’t answer, chewing the inside of his cheeks nervously, thinking about it. “I’ll do it, I promise. But without you, I can’t drag you in this.” 

“You won’t do it if you don’t have a reason to do it, you know it, too.” 

“So you know me a bit, don’t you?” 

She nodded, caressing his cheek with her thumb, and her body relaxed a bit when he snuggled against her touch and shifted closer to her. 

“Maybe we should get up from the cold floor, don’t you think so?”

When the clock struck midnight, Jeno was sleeping, leaning on her, on the couch. And as much as she was exhausted, she couldn’t close her eyes thinking about everything that happened. Tormenting herself, wondering if it was another one of his traps or if he was so good at hiding his demons that not even Jaemin, Haechan, or Jisung had a mere idea of everything that was going on inside him. Thinking how much different he looked when she walked him to the couch and cleaned his wounds and he opened up a bit more. Questioning which of the many versions of himself he had shown her was the real one. Wondering who she was going to wake up to the next day. She hoped it was the same Jeno that chuckled lightly while they ate a bowl of ramen, talking about the future. She hoped it was the same Jeno that promised her he was going to be a better person. She hoped he could be his true self around her, but she started to fear that maybe that version of him didn’t even exist, that he tried so hard to conceal it that it simply disappeared and he, himself, had to find it somewhere he didn’t know. 

She sighed, struggling to grab a blanket, and covered their tired bodies, holding him closer, inhaling his scent before she tried to close her eyes, hoping the heavy sensation on her chest wouldn’t have been there by morning. 

But for now, it was, their hearts were beating as once with the same demons. He was right. They weren’t different, they were a different outcome of the same situation. Probably that was why they worked. She craved his bad, and he craved her good. But she doubted that foolish fantasy could last for long. 

Probably it was better to leave, to run and hide, maybe she was still in time to don’t miss him as if somebody cut her heart off her chest, still in time to don’t let his demons drown her too. But after all, she was a dumb girl, a fool for him. 

She would’ve always wanted him. In any way she could have him. 

And when she looked down at his relaxed face, eyelashes resting on his cheeks, and breath normal, she realized she couldn’t leave him. If she brought the better out of him, this couldn’t go wrong. It couldn’t be worst, at least. 

But the realization of how tricky the path they were going to take kept her up at night some more. 

Jeno was terrified of losing her, the only good part of him, the only person he could somehow mirror himself even though their apparent incompatibility. 

Somebody could’ve called it dedication, some other something darker. After all, the line between love and obsession is thin, and Jeno had crossed it for a while. And she had no idea if there was salvation for that. 

Jeno wasn’t only in love, Jeno was obsessed. 

taglist: @jenoxygen @bockhyun @harrypinks @eotokki-blog @painted-hills @zimsuhlabim​ @arlenejcc​

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[royaltyofmultifandom]

Echo - Leigh Shaw x Reader 

Summary: Y/n admits her true feelings to Leigh for her to get denied. What happens when Leigh keeps pulling Y/n in to only push her away again? Will Y/n keep coming back or will she finally leave for good?

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, smut, 18+ (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) , drunkLeigh!, angst.

Words: 

A/n: This idea kept popping up in my head so I had to write it. It was inspired by the song “Echo” by Alexander Stewart. I hope you enjoy this oneshot and as always any likes, reblogs and comments mean a lot. Also shoot me a message if you would like to be tagged in any of my works or tagged for a specific character :) enjoy!

MASTERLIST //  Join my Taglist!

//

You first met Leigh outside of her grief group in the parking lot. Your sister was the grief counsellor for the group and you would always stop by to help hand out refreshments if you had the chance.

 You remember the day Leigh Shaw finally talked to you as if it were yesterday. You had seen Leigh coming to grief group for over a year now and the therapist in you saw something in her. Over time you started to grow a crush on the woman and loved how blunt and straightforward she was; you never ever considered that one day that bluntness would hurt you more than anything else in this world.

Leigh had stayed behind a little to help your sister and you clean up. Once everything was almost done Leigh decided to call it a night mumbling a goodnight to the both of you. You had noticed she seemed more down than usual, so you spotted the extra doughnuts left over from today’s session and grabbed the box and ran out after her.

“Hey, Leigh. Can you wait up for a second” you yelled after her. Leigh stopped and turned around to face you and you felt your heart rate increase against your chest as her sage green eyes, with a blank look, stared into your own. Leigh’s brows furrowed eyebrows as she tilted to the side slightly as she wondered why you were chasing after her.

You jogged the rest of the way up to Leigh and held out the box of doughnuts while smiling widely at her as she frowned, looking down at the box of doughnuts. You caught on to her further confusion immediately.

“Oh, my sister had some of these left over and we weren’t going to eat them. You seemed a little more down in today’s session than usual and I noticed how much you love doughnuts. I thought you could use an extra pick me-up or you know, if you don’t want a pity gift then you could consider them as a thank you gift, for helping my sister and I clear up tonight” you ramble. You start scratching the back of your neck as you avoid all eye contact with her, knowing that if you did your heart might just beat out of your chest or stop completely.

“Thank you, uhm, sorry, I don’t know your name” Leigh apologises as you catch the guilty look flash across her face briefly.

“That's okay, and my name is Y/n L/n. My sister runs your grief group” you explain as Leigh nods in acknowledgement.

“Right, yeah, of course. Well Y/n L/n, it was very nice to meet you and thanks again for the doughnuts. Maybe I could see you again sometime? Outside of the grief group, maybe we could grab some coffee together one day?” Leigh proposes.

“I’d really like that, Leigh, hang on I’ll enter my number into your phone if you’d like” you suggest. Leigh flashes you a smile, the first one you’d seen off her all night, as she passes you her phone. You input your number and hand it back to her before walking Leigh to her car and watching her drive off.

Leigh texted you three days after and invited you out for coffee and that was where a beautiful friendship began. You and Leigh spent nearly everyday together for three months and your crush on Leigh only developed further until you fell completely in love with her.

Over time, as the two of you kept growing closer physically, you ended up sleeping together one night. Since that first time it became a recurring event that whenever Leigh needed you, you would be there and the two of you would have sex.

That’s what leads you to where you are right now watching her grab the rest of her clothes and walk out of your apartment without so much as a word.

**************************************

“Fuck y/n. Right th-there” Leigh moans echo your bedroom, her hips thrusting uncontrollably at the pace you’ve set with your strap.

You are completely mesmerised as you stare at the way her breasts bounce as she rides you. You bite your lip to silence yourself from groaning whilst focusing on her perky breasts and erect nipples “fuck Leigh, you are so fucking perfect. Come on baby, that's it; you can do it. Fuck yourself on my cock baby” you purr.

You thrust your hips up off the mattress as hard and as fast as you can as Leigh rides you. You place the soles of your feet flat so that you can thrust at a quicker pace and deeper into her pussy. Her head tilts back in ecstasy as she slides her hands up your torso and lands on your breasts to anchor her as she lifts her hips, sinking back down on your strap, taking the full length of the toy.

You caress her hips before gripping them a little tighter and guide her as she rides you. Pulling her hips down against you whilst you thrust into her as she runs her hands across your chest exploring the shape of your breasts, almost like she wishes to commit the feeling of them to memory. 

“Fuck y/n, I’m going to cum baby” she moans as her hips speed up, chasing her high, but you have other ideas.

You lean up so you are sitting as Leigh still bucks against the strap buried within her. You bring your lips to her nipple and run your tongue over it before taking her nipple in your mouth and softly sucking and biting on it before letting it go. You move on to her other breast once again taking her nipple in your mouth as you knead the other one. You can hear Leigh’s ragged breaths as she struggles to reach the orgasm she is so desperately chasing. “Y/n baby please, I need you” she pleads.

You place a kiss just under her breast and bite the skin before soothing it over with your tongue. You pull away at her desperate pleas “need me to help you baby?” you coo into her ear. She shudders, nodding, as your breath tickles her ears just adding to her overwhelming need to cum. 

Leigh nods frantically “please make me cum” she whimpers, her body becoming tired as she grinds harshly against your strap showing you how desperate she is. 

“Okay baby I’ve got you” you shush her. 

In one quick motion you flip her so that she is on her back and she instantly wraps her legs around your waist allowing you better access to her pussy. You pull your strap out of her until only the tip is inside her. Leigh whimpers at the temporary loss. You lean down and start kissing her lips before moving your kisses down her jaw until you reach the sweet spot on her neck. You thrust your entire length into her entrance until you bottom out just as you bite down on the sweet spot on her neck, smoothing the bite over with your tongue. Leigh’s entire body arches reactively into you as she lets out the most perfectly sinful moans which echo the bedroom walls. 

You continue the thrusting into her deeply and hard whilst leaving kisses down her neck, collarbone and breasts, gently nipping her and leaving bites every so often. Leigh bucks hard against you as she runs her fingers up your arms and along your back as she digs her nails into your back to ground herself at the brutal pace you have set. 

“Y/n I’m go-gonna cum, fuck y/n” she moans loudly as her walls clench against the strap as her hips and body jerk as she cums hard all over your strap. You continue thrusting into her softly until the last wave of her orgasm has washed over her. You smile at her and kiss her lips and then her forehead before pulling out of her as she whimpers slightly. 

You remove the strap and throw it across the room to deal with later as you crawl up the bed and collapse next to Leigh. You place a soft kiss on her temple “you okay?” You ask, passing her some water that she politely declines. You go to wrap your arms around her and pull her into you to cuddle, but she has already leaped from the bed and began getting dressed.

This is what she always does after the two of you have sex. She gets dressed as soon as you have made her cum, leaves, doesn’t talk to you or answer your messages and calls for two weeks, calls you up to hang out, saying that she misses you and the cycle repeats itself.

Every time you try to even remotely bring up the subject of her staying after having sex, she just yells and it always ends in an argument. You keep trying, hoping that each outcome will be different, but they all end the same; her leaving.

You jump up and start getting dressed too, but this only speeds up her process as she opens the bedroom door. You run over to her and slam the door shut with your hand and gently spin her around to face you, but she refuses to look into your eyes. You bend your knees slightly as you cup her cheek, softly, rubbing your thumb over the apples of her cheeks, trying to catch her eyes with yours.

“Leigh please, don’t do this again. Okay? Just please don’t leave like you always do” you plead with her. 

Leigh looks up and meets your eyes “I can’t do this, Y/n, this was a mistake. I was lonely and…” “and I was just there. I get it, Leigh. I know the whole script like the back of my hand at this point. At least you’re consistent. I’ll give you that” you cut her off sadly, finishing the same speech she always provides.

“Y/n, that’s not fair” she mumbles trying to reach out for you just so she can offer a few soft touches to pacify you before leaving just like she intended to do in the first place anyway.

“No, you know what’s not fair, Leigh? I am in love with you and have been since we met and you know this and yet you still sleep with me, leave, don’t talk to me for weeks and then repeat the cycle. You know this and you refuse to admit you feel the same way because you’re scared. I get it, Leigh. I do. You’re scared that if you let me in entirely and let yourself feel the feelings you have for me, that you’ll lose me, but I’m still here.

We do the same dance every time Leigh. You kiss me and I kiss you back; we end up sleeping together, and then you tell me it’s a mistake. But it’s not a mistake, and you know it. You know, deep down you have feelings for me too, but you won’t admit them because you’re so scared I’m gonna leave you just like Matt did or that you’re betraying him.. But I’m not going anywhere, Leigh. I am right here. I am always right here where you leave me. I tried to go slow because I thought that’s what you needed. Matt would want you to be happy and move on. I’m not going to leave you like Matt did, Leigh” you sigh, letting all your thoughts out.

Leigh glares at you before stepping forward so she can finally look you deep in the eyes “you know what I’m sick of, Y/n? You psychoanalysing me all the fucking time. You may be a therapist, but I am not one of your fucking patients, and your stupid therapy methods don’t work on me, so stop treating me like one. I don’t need you to be patient with me or tell me you aren’t going to leave me like Matt; instead you should keep my husband’s name out of your mouth. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to be with you. You’re so desperate god, you’re just a good fuck every so often” she yells exasperatedly as she throws her hands up before they come crashing back down against her thighs.

You step back as you feel a pang of hurt in your chest as if someone had just punched you in the gut. You feel the tears start to come to form in your eyes as her mossy green eyes convey nothing but anger towards you. You decide you won’t let her see how much she hurt you, so instead you swallow the lump in your throat and push down the tears.

“Fine, you know what Leigh, fine. I’m done doing this with you. From now on, don’t contact me. I am done trying to make this work. If you are afraid of your feelings then fine, but excuse me if I don’t stick around for you just to insult me and treat me like a punching bag. I refuse to let you drag me down with you. I need to distance myself from you for a while because it hurts too much to be around you anymore” you croak as your emotions become too much. 

Something snaps in Leigh when she realises what is happening and her eyes shine with panic, her wide eyes glistening with unshed tears, which then soften as she attempts to reach out for you once more to try and console you. You step back away from her shaking your head as you shrug her off, leading her to the front door as you hold it wide open.

“Y/n please I didn’t mean what I said” she apologises, her eyes pleading you not to do this.

You continue to hold the door open and look down at the ground, avoiding her eyes “bye Leigh” you mumble. Leigh’s tears escape her eyes as she comes to the realisation that she really fucked up this time and wipes them away with the palm of her hand as they fall. She tries to catch your eye once more but gives up knowing you have made up your mind and steps out your apartment door, nearly hitting her on the way out.

As soon as the door is closed you let yourself break down and slide down the door in pain as you feel your heart break, the echo of her voice still in your head.

Little do you know, Leigh is breaking down in her own car as she replays the conversation over and over knowing every single thing you said was right. It takes Leigh a good hour before she can compose herself enough to drive home, but as she does her heart feels shattered.

******************************

You wake up to the vibrations your phone is making as its screen lights up the room from your bedside table. You let out a groan, cursing whoever is calling you in the middle of the night, and reach over blindly to answer the phone without bothering to check the caller ID. 

“Hello” you answer groggily as you try to rub the sleep out of your eyes as you struggle to keep them from drooping shut again. 

“Y/n baby. I-I am so s-sorry. I can’t stop thinking about you, please ignore…..forgive me. I-I need you baby…I need you close to me a-all the time. I fucked up…god I fucked up baby, I ne-want you close to me” Leigh's slurred voice comes through your phone.

Starting to wake up you hear by her hiccuping and slurred dialogue that she is drunk somewhere. You sigh, this happens a lot.

Leigh blows up at you and pushes you away and then she ends up at some nightclub or bar drunk and phones you apologising and you fall back into her arms every time. 

“Where are you? I’m picking you up” you insist. You start to slowly lose your patience like you always do when she keeps slurring her words and not forming any coherent sentences. 

Eventually, after fifteen minutes of softly demanding that Leigh give her phone to a bartender do you find out where she is. The bartender informs you that he will keep her safe and cut her off until you arrive to take her home. 

Leigh begins to get upset and sniffles when you tell her you have to hang up so you can drive to her. 

“Leigh please baby. I need to hang up so I can come meet you at the bar, I’m coming so you need to hang up. The sooner you hang up the sooner I’ll be there” you bargain with her. Eventually, she relents and makes you promise that you’ll be there soon which of course you do. 

After quickly flinging on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt, you grab your phone and keys and set off to retrieve Leigh. The whole drive all you can hear is the echo of a combination of different fights you’ve had with Leigh along with all her moans and bursts of laughter. You can’t help thinking that you can’t keep doing this anymore if she refuses to give you even a little reassurance apart from drunk calls that she feels the same way as you do. 

Eventually, you find Leigh at the bar sipping on some water. You head over to her and wrap your arms around her waist and you can’t help but feel elated when you see the way her sad face lights up with adoration when she sees you. 

“Y/n” she sighs contentedly as she allows her head to lull back against your shoulder allowing the alcohol to fully possess her. You sigh and shake your head when you realise she’s passed out in a drunken state. You thank the bartender and grab her in a bridal hold and take her out to the passenger side of your car. You gently place her in the seat and buckle her seatbelt before gently shutting the door. You then climb in the driver’s seat and drive her back to her apartment. 

You pick up her handbag that she had at the bar and rummage for her keys. Once found, you get out of the car and open her apartment door before racing back to the car to gently lift her out. Once in your arms Leigh wraps her arms around your neck subconsciously and snuggles into you chest sighing in her sleep. You shut the car door and lock it before making your way up the stairs and into her apartment, kicking the door shut behind you. 

You place Leigh gently on her bed and take her dress off before tucking her under the covers and rolling on her side to ensure she doesn’t choke if she’s sick during the night. You then head into her kitchen and grab a tall glass of water and some tablets for her head, that she will no doubt require in the morning, and place them on her bedside table. 

You kneel beside her and brush the hair away from her eyes and mouth as you gaze at her peacefully sleeping with the occasional soft snore falling past her lips. You think it’s adorable and only find yourself wishing that you could wake up to her at least once. 

As much as you are in love with Leigh, you know things will never change. Leigh will go back to wanting to spend everyday with you and as soon as the two of you sleep together again she’ll be gone. 

You can’t keep holding on to hope that she might change or hold on to the echo of her anymore.You sigh defeated and place a soft kiss to her forehead before grabbing the blanket on the couch and settling down on it to try to get some sleep. 

**************************

When Leigh wakes in the morning a rush of pain hits her forehead and makes her dizzy. Disorientated, she attempts to piece her night together. One minute she was thinking of calling Y/n to apologise in the bar and then everything goes blank. Leigh brings her gaze down and notices she is just in her underwear and her dress is on her chair in the corner of her room. When she glances to the left she sees a glass of water and some tablets on her bedside table. 

How the hell did she get home? 

She groans as she sits on the edge of her bed at the throbbing in her temples. She takes the tablets and gulps the water down before gathering the courage to get up to retrieve another glass for her dry throat. 

Leigh stops in her tracks as she enters into her kitchen and sees you lying passed out on the sofa. So that’s how she got home, she pieces it together and groans internally when the flashbacks of her calling Y/n drunk come to the forefront of her mind. Leigh smiles at how soft and peaceful you look as you sleep and decides to make some coffee to thank you.

She doesn’t deserve you, not after the way she treated you. She acknowledges this but still can’t help but to feel excited that you came to her rescue last night. Surely that means you still care right? 

***************************

You wake up to the strong smell of freshly brewed coffee and your stomach rumbling. Groaning and stretching you wake yourself up and blink the sleep out of your eyes as they adjust to the light flooding through Leigh’s living room windows. 

“Hey, sleepy head” you hear Leigh softly greet you good morning. You mumble a non-coherent good morning as you sit up and accept the mug of coffee she made for you. 

Leigh sits next to you and pulls her legs up to her chest as she cradles her cup of coffee in both hands. You take a sip of your coffee and look over to see her looking at you intently. 

“Can we talk?” she questions nervously. You nod but stay silent allowing her to speak first. 

“I am so sorry Y/n. I know I keep apologising and you don’t deserve that but I need you to know that I never meant a single thing I said that night. I just snapped because every single thing you said was true, I am scared of losing you. Scared of moving on from Matt. I know about your feelings towards me and I have always been aware of them and I’ve not been fair to you. I do love you Y/n, I am in love with you. 

I wish I could take everything I’ve done back and just have stayed with you that night believe me but I can’t. All I can do is promise it will never happen again Y/n, I love you. You aren’t just a good fuck, you’re everything to me and I know I have done nothing to make you believe that. Please baby, just give me one more chance. I’ll do anything. Please baby, just let me love you the way you deserve to be loved, to love you the way you love me” she pleads with unshed tears in her eyes.

You sigh, shaking your head as you stand up, placing your mug on the coffee table. 

“I can’t Leigh, I’m sorry. I love you but it's just too late” you conclude as your bottom lip trembles at the threat of spilling all your own unshed tears. 

Leigh shoots up and places her coffee down and rushes to your side and brings both her hands to your cheeks, wiping away the tears that have fallen. She lifts your face so that your eyes meet hers and you see the pain in her eyes. 

“Please baby, it's not too late. I love you just give me a chance” she desperately sobs letting her own tears hit her cheeks, soothingly rubbing her thumbs against the apples of your cheeks. 

You reach up and take her hands in yours and you see a glimpse of hope flicker in her hopeful eyes before you lower her hands away from your face. 

“You haven’t taken responsibility for holding my heart the way you do. You have known this whole time I have worn mine on my sleeve Leigh so, what else can you expect me to do? If you don’t end it when this is over then you leave me lonely and brokenhearted. Cause everytime you leave me you break me slowly and you’re not there afterwards but you still have a hold on me” you croak. 

Leigh tries to reach out for you but you take a step back as she begins to sob begging you to stay, her heart breaking every time you step out of her reach. Is this how she left you every time? Her heart feels like it is slowly shattering and she begins to understand your words.

“If you don’t stop calling, then I can’t let go when you’re drunk and telling me that you need me close. Cause I will come running back to you everytime Leigh but I don’t think my heart can take this cycle we have anymore. Please baby, don’t keep me haunted by your ghost because when you leave me all I hear your echo in my mind constantly” you sob pleading for her to let you go as she is pleading for you to give her one more chance. 

“I keep holding on to the possibility that you and I can turn into us. But when that hope turns into dust it's worse than a death of a thousand cuts. So please, can you end it when it’s over?” Leigh shakes her head in denial at your plea. 

“No baby, I am sorry but I can’t. I want you and you want me just let me make this right I’ll do anything baby, plea-please don’t leave me” her voice catches in between her uncontrollable sobs as she protests and your heart breaks even more than it already has at letting her go. This was all you wanted but you can’t take the chance of her changing her mind again because you won’t survive this time. You hold her tight against your chest and kiss the crown of her head as your tears fall into her hair and you battle with the lump in your throat and pain coursing through your chest.

“Your echo is in my mind, my body and in my heart every time you leave me Leigh and I won’t survive another. I lay in bed in a wreck trying to forget the echos of every argument after sex, the speech you give me everytime, I can’t do it again baby. You have to let me go” you pull her away from your chest and really look at her trying to convey how desperate you are for her to end your suffering. You love her of course you do. Your eyes fill with new tears and the pang of hurt hits your chest and gut once more at the thought of leaving her but you have to and deep down so does she. 

You cup her face in your hands and graze your thumbs over her lips and cheeks and place your forehead against hers “If you don’t stop calling, then I can’t let go. All I hear is your echo. Please baby, don’t keep me haunted by your ghost. Let me go” you completely break and sob with her. 

You both know at that moment it’s over and god it hurts. 

You place a kiss to her forehead and let it linger there for what feels like eternity before pulling away and heading towards the door. 

Leigh catches your hand, her lip trembling as another shot of pain shoots through her chest as fresh tears drop from her eyelids. 

“I love you baby, maybe one day I’ll stop being an echo and bring you peace and love instead. Maybe one day we’ll be together. I’ll always hold on to that hope Y/n but I understand why you can’t. I can’t be your echo anymore and I love you enough to let you be happy and move on without me” she sniffs.

You squeeze her hand one last time “maybe one day” you mumble back before letting go of her hand and walking out her door for the last time. 

Leaving Leigh alone once again just like Matt.

Taglist: @chelleztjs18,  @aboredastronomer,  @bizarrealex ,  @lizzieolsen89,  @natashasilverfox ,  @meshuganna, @serdiec660,  @morinfoxixippy,   @when-wolves-howl​ , @olsensnpm , @annalestern , @kacka84 , @sawsees , @gucchi17 , @serdiec660

[kageyuji]

when someone asks your boyfriend if you’re single

⤷ oikawa, suna, bokuto, iwaizumi, akaashi ; [gn!reader]

warnings/genre: fluff, a little jealousy as a treat

notes: reblogs help me tons!!

━━ oikawa;

huh?????? what????????

he’s honestly so confused and can’t figure out if this is a prank or not

oikawa likes to flaunt his relationship with you, so the person has to be a complete stranger

either way, he quickly tells them that you’re taken, and he gets so smug and cocky whenever the person’s face falls

oikawa could tell the guy sitting beside him was staring at you. he didn’t like it, but surely the guy had seen him talking to you before that, right?

he thought so until the guy started speaking at least.

“you’re friends with them, right?” the person asked, and then continued whenever oikawa looked over at him. “do they have a boyfriend?”

oikawa’s eyes narrowed a little, eyebrows furrowing and lips forming something like a frown. he crossed his arms over his chest in much the same way a dog would raise its hackles.

“yes, actually. and their boyfriend is super hot. strong too, he could probably beat your ass.”

“ah, too bad. kinda sounds like you want him if you think hes so hot, huh?”

oikawa just rolled his eyes. he was about to answer whenever you walked over to the two of them, hand reaching out to him. he grabbed it quickly, then stood and began to walk away with you.

however, he made a point to turn and flash a victorious smile at the stranger.

━━ suna;

he acts so calm but on the inside he’s gotten more jealous than he’s been in a long time

not that he doesn’t trust you, of course, but he didn’t like the idea of someone else picturing themself with you

rather, he didn’t like to picture you with someone else

he’ll be calm — cold and with a sinister edge to his voice, but calm

“hey, are you listening to me?” suna asked, snapping to get the other’s attention.

your boyfriend was supposed to be showing a new member of the team around, but whenever suna followed the guy’s gaze, he found that the other guy was distracted by you.

“oh- yeah, sorry. that uh- that person over there, the one talking to atsumu. what’s their name?”

suna huffed, but answered, “y/n.”

“are they dating anyone right now?”

that got suna’s attention. he nodded despite how much he wanted to walk over and throw his arm around you, pull you close to him.

“yeah.” suna said, trying to keep his voice level but it just came out tense. “and both of them are committed, so you might as well forget it.”

“really? do you think if-”

“I said forget it.”

“oh- ok.”

━━ bokuto;

bokuto just,, shuts down

he goes kind of quiet — suddenly, the usual loud and hyper bokuto is gone, replaced with a meek and submissive version

he gets jealous, sure, but he mostly just gets insecure about himself

you know he loves you, and yet he doesn’t think he can ever tell you that enough

“that person over there, what’s their name?”

bokuto turned to look at the person, then followed to where they were looking. he stared at you for a moment, trying to decide why a stranger would want to know that.

“c’mon, man, i saw you talking to them earlier.”

“y/n.” bokuto responded finally, smiling a little whenever you turned and gave him a small wave.

however, you’d turned away from him again whenever his face fell, whenever he heard the other guy’s next words.

“y/n, huh? that’s a nice name. but they don’t have a boyfriend, do they?”

again, bokuto was quiet for a moment. he felt his heart sink, felt the anxiety start to build and turn his stomach.

“they do, actually,” bokuto mumbled, and began to nervously play with his hands. he wasn’t really sure when he’d started that habit, but it was almost a relief from his anxieties at the time.

“ah, too bad.” the guy sighed, but walked away without another complaint.

it took bokuto another few minutes to walk over to you. normally, he wouldn’t mind, but he really didn’t want to bother you. you’d never seen him being insecure as annoying before, but still he was worried.

“hey, y/n?” he’d asked and was met with a small amount of relief whenever you walked away from your friends to talk to him.

“hey bo, what’s wrong?”

“uhm,” bokuto started talking, but he couldn’t look anywhere but down at the floor. “you love me, right? you don’t think i’m-”

“of course I love you! where is that coming from?”

he just smiled and shook his head, then wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. “no where. I love you too.”

━━ iwaizumi;

Protective Boyfriend Iwa™ activated

you know the “step the fuck up kyle” vine? that but it’s actually kind of intimidating

he’s trying to be calm but anyone can hear how tense his voice gets

“hey, iwaizumi?”

iwaizumi recognized the voice as one of the new vbc members, so he was quick to look at them and ask what was wrong. however, he was a little confused when he say their eyes on you.

“does that person over there have a boyfriend?”

iwa stopped.

he blinked a few times before his face twisted into an expression somewhere between and annoyance and anger. “yes. why?”

the other person pouted. “i thought they were cute, and they seem nice. guess i should have figured they were already taken, huh?”

he stared at them for a while without saying a word. surely they were aware the two of you were dating, right? iwa knew that he wasn’t that much into PDA, but he also knew that he’s given you quick kisses in front of this guy before... hadn’t he?

“yeah, probably should have. i’m their boyfriend though, okay?”

“o- oh.”

━━ akaashi;

akaashi usually isn’t the jealous type, but he can’t deny the small feelings of jealousy that he gets whenever the question gets asked

he won’t be necessarily aggressive about it, but he’ll tell them that you’re happily taken

he might tell the guy you’re married just incase the guy wants to try something 💀

he’ll be a little insecure afterwards though, won’t tell you about it but he acts clingier then he usually is

akaashi was probably the most approachable on the team. not that the others weren’t, but they tended to either be in a constant bad mood or they were rarely calm.

which is why akaashi thinks this person had asked him out of everyone on the team.

“you’re close with y/n, right?” the person started.

akaashi gave a confused look, but answered nonetheless, “yeah, why?”

“do you know if they have a boyfriend?”

akaashi took in a sharp breath; he honestly didn’t know why he was so taken aback by that, but then again it wasn’t as though either of you were hiding the relationship.

“actually, yeah, they’re engaged.” akaashi lied.

well, he didn’t know if it was a lie actually. he wanted to wait a little more and get your opinion on that type of thing, but he’d be more than happy to put a ring on your finger.

maybe then people wouldn’t ask him questions like that.

[daddyy333]

Family Pt.2 | Eddie Munson x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

TW: CAR CRASH, PREGNANCY, NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE, PASSING OUT, BED REST (plz let me know if I missed any)

Word count: 5.5k

summary: Eddie and the group take care of you as you come out of your abusive relationship and then find out you have a baby on the way

12.7k words and counting😭 part 3 will be the the birth and mostly them adjusting to life with the little one and then pt 4 is a super top secret surprise

baby name suggestions? I kinda forgot about that part

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

You heard me, you were on your way to work, on the busiest street you had to drive on when going to work of course. Your head was pounding, and you were exhausted, and you could feel your heartbeat slowing down and you just needed to make it to work and maybe your boss would be okay with you needing to take a breather before coming into work.

But that didn’t happen, you passed out and lost control of the car and slid across the boulevard. You woke up a few minutes after the accident, paramedics were trying to get you out of the car, they had just gotten your smashed in door open.

You whimpered and said “w-what happened?” “We believe you passed out and lost control of your car, which caused someone to slam right into your side of the car and injure you” he said and you gasped, feeling a sharp pain in your stomach.

There was glass stuck all over you but there was a particularly large piece in your stomach, making it hard to breathe or move. “Oh god- ow! My baby- mmh…m-my baby” you groaned and they then scooped you up out of the car, and onto a stretcher. You let out a small cry, all the pain was catching up to you.

You were taken to the hospital, you ended up having to go into surgery cause you were bleeding pretty bad internally and your ankle needed to be looked at without you yelling in pain. You woke up in a hospital room, everything quickly came back to you and you wished Eddie was there to make things a little better.

“Eddie…Eddie?” You said worriedly, your eyes fluttering open. Everyone was waiting, stressed out of their minds. He stood up and quickly grabbed your hand in his, quietly whispering that he was there for you.

You flinched slighty, and he instantly let go. “I-I’m sorry…” you whimpered and he sighed softly. He sniffled, and then- wait a minute…he sniffled? You made Eddie ‘dude’s just don’t cry’ Munson cry?.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, okay? Just relax. You didn’t do anything wrong, no one’s mad at you” he said and you let out a shaky breath. You looked around at everyone and just wanted to cry.

“I-I didn’t mean to do it, I-I swear. I just- I thought if I made it to work I’d be okay I-” you said and he shushed you gently, slowly reaching up and stroking your hair to calm you down.

You whimpered and he said “it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. I just want you to rest, that’s all. Don’t worry about the crash, don’t worry about anything else but getting better, okay?” “Is the baby okay?” You asked, more tears flowing at the thought that something might have happened to her.

You sniffled and he said “the baby is okay, she’s doing just fine. Doctor said that physically she’s healthy, she’s okay, she was even kicking during the ultrasound but uhm…they also said you are going to be put on bed rest most likely for the rest of your pregnancy” The rest of them were shocked he remembered everything the doctor said, most of them were still processing that you were okay.

“What- what- why? No, I-I have to work” you said and you tried to sit up, but the pain as well as Eddie’s worrying stopped you. He gently eased you into laying back down and he said “Y/n…y/n, gotta relax. Your body needs time to recover from the trauma of the car crash and the pregnancy is really weakening you and you need rest, your body needs to rest. You’ve gotta relax and give your body a rest so that both of you are healthy. If you don’t, it could cause complications when you give birth”

“H-How am I gonna make money a-a-and take care of her. I’ll be in debt for the rest of my life between these hospital bills and the ones from having her. I need to w-work” she said and he took a deep breath.

“You’ll be okay. We’ll all help, I promise. And we’ll talk to your boss about maternity leave and unless he wants to end up dead he’ll give you as much paid maternity leave as you need” he said and you whimpered. You pressed a hand to your stomach, also covering your mouth to try and suppress the sobs that wanted to get through.

“Oh, y/n…” he said and you sighed shakily. The doctor came in and pretty much re-explained everything Eddie already told you, and told you about how to take care of your wounds and stuff. You fractured your ankle really badly so you had to wear a boot around it, and would have to wear it and keep most of your weight on your right foot for pretty much the remainder of your pregnancy. The huge slice in your stomach didn’t get to the baby but didn’t need to be kept clean and bandaged up. You also had a few broken ribs, which the baby might kick eventually but it won’t mess with the healing.

You were able to lay on your side and you were talking to everyone else now. You’d gotten super close with Robin, and she was currently sitting with you as the rest finally got some sleep or were sitting with you too, but letting Robin have some time with you. The only reason Eddie wasn’t there was because you told him to go find himself some food and smoke a cigarette and calm down.

“I just…god, this wasn’t supposed to happen! I can’t s-support a baby with this kind of hospital debt, the fucking monthly payment will probably be 3 of my paychecks. I can’t- I-I can’t do this-” you cried and Steve stepped in. He sat on the edge of the bed and said “y/n…hey. We’re gonna help, okay? Even if you don’t want us to, even if you try to refuse, we will help. You’re family y/n…family takes care of each other. And we all have the means too, we will all pitch in what we can, always”

“My life w-was not supposed to pan out like this…holy shit,” you said and sniffled. Robin gently wiped your tears away and you whimpered. “And that’s okay, y/n/n. But on the bright side, this little girl will be here soon, and she will have the best uncles and aunts she could possibly ask for. Like Steve said, we’re one big giant crazy family and you’re stuck with us till the end of time. We won’t let you suffer, not if we can help it” Robin said and you nodded, sighing softly.

Eddie came back and said “hey, you. How are you feeling?” “Shitty…” you said and he took a deep breath. He handed you the pamphlet with today’s meals on it and said “you should get some food in you…do you want the hospital lunch or do you want me to grab you some other food?”

“No, no it’s fine” you said and Dustin handed you a 3 musketeers bar anyways. You chuckled and said “thanks…ow- ooh, the baby says thank you” Dustin chuckled and Eddie placed a gentle hand on your bump to keep her from kicking the stitches. You took a deep breath and said “I’m…I’m fine, Ed’s. It’s- I-I’ll be fine”

About a week went by, you were sent home the next day and you ended up going to Steve’s. At this point, everyone kinda lived at Steve’s house. His hoity toity parents gave him a house as long as he promised to stop embarrassing them and he was fine with a free house and not having to see his parents for basically the rest of his life.

God you wished you were Steve sometimes. Eddie especially wanted you to be there more so you were in a safer area and a comfier bed since you were on bed rest. Robin did live with Steve for the time being, they’re always together anyways. Somebody was almost always crashing and spending the night, so you had a lot of support throughout the hell that is bed rest.

It sounds awesome initially, but you absolutely couldn’t get up unless you had to use the bathroom or for your 5 minute shower (which Steve did time per Eddie’s request). It was really boring, because obviously Steve and Robin had to work but at least you had a T.V, and all your books, as well as the daily newspapers.

It was hard to walk around in the boot, you needed crutches which you barely got the hang of, and it was still slightly painful and putting all the weight on one foot killed you. Plus, you were walking funny so your hips were ready to snap in half and your back hurt from laying down all the time.

Eddie wreaked havoc on your poor boss, making sure you got paid maternity leave, promising to play at that restaurant once a week since corroded coffin had a pretty decent fan base and it would bring the money in for you to get that paid maternity leave. You thanked him every single day, without him you’d probably be homeless or worse, dead.

Eddie came by the house every single day, except for the third day but he did call and apologize for 10 of the 30 minutes you two spoke. He had finally passed senior year, so now he was working for you and your baby. Tonight he was sleeping over, you insisted he sleep in the bed and that it was okay and you trusted him, but he refused.

He knew it was lonely being on bed rest all the time with really nothing to do, and no one to hang out with. Since tomorrow was his day off, he came to Steve’s after hellfire and showered and was now spending the night with you.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep in the bed? I promise, I’m okay with it” you said and let out a quiet wince at a rough kick. You almost never complained about the kicks now, now that you’ve almost lost her. You would put up with it for the rest of your life just to know she was okay.

“Y/n/n…I’m good. It’s one night, okay? Maybe in a few months, once you’ve had the baby and you’re feeling better but right now, you need to the comfortability more than I do” he said and you sighed. You threw another pillow at him and he chuckled, thanking you.

The next day was your birthday, which you weren’t gonna tell anyone but Eddie obviously told everyone because you deserved a special day all about you. The next morning when you got your few steps in heading downstairs for breakfast, they surprised you (quietly of course) with waffles that had 23 candles in it.

You smiled and thanked them all, everyone had taken the day off to be with you. “You guys are the best,” you said and giggled, rubbing your bump as you finished your last bite of breakfast. They all chuckled and of course, brought out presents.

Will bought you a pregnancy pillow, well technically Joyce recommended it so it was a Byers family gift. (I have no idea when those things were invented fuck it) Mike and El bought you some more books since you were alwayssss reading. Steve bought the baby some clothes and you some more clothes cause you're always complaining about having no clothes. They were mostly just extra large regular clothes since he didn’t know how to figure out the maternity sizes, but the gesture was cute. Eddie made the baby a mixtape of some of the softest and slowest metal songs he knew for you to play for the baby. Robin bought some blankets and pacifiers with music notes and instruments on them. Nancy and Jonathan bought you a stroller, which you greatly appreciated. Lucas and Max gave you some chocolates and snacks, since Lucas insisted that you’d love it and devour it in a second.

Robin even massaged your foot for you, since you were the birthday girl they were gonna treat you like royalty. Your other one still hurt too much, having the boot on as much as possible made it feel better. Everyone hung out with you of course, talking to the baby and feeling her kick and wiggle around.

“I bet her little bratty ass is loving all the attention” you said and chuckled, seeing her little foot move as your stomach bulged out where it was. She kicked your ribs and you yelled slightly, getting everyone’s full attention. You winced and groaned softly, placing a hand on your upper bump.

“What’s wrong, hey talk to me,” Eddie said and you sighed softly. You took a deep breath and said “I-I’m fine. She just kicked at my ribs really hard” “how the hell are they supposed to heal if she’s constantly kicking them?” He said and you shrugged.

He stuck to your side after that, rubbing your bump and trying to make sure the baby didn’t cause any more pain in your ribs. “Ooh…the attitude on you,” he said, stopping in the middle of a sentence as he felt a strong kick. You giggled and played with his rings, trying them on your small fingers and balancing them all on your bump.

“Wait a minute…you can balance things on it?” Dustin said and you chuckled, nodding. You grabbed a cup and placed it on your bump, making jazz hands as Dustin chuckled. “You’ve never seen me do something like this before?” You asked and he shook his head.

He ran to his bag and grabbed a D&D mini figure, placing it on your bump. He laughed and Eddie chuckled softly, you were holding back so hard from laughing. Steve shook his head and muttered “dork”

They eventually all moved up to your room since the couch wasn't as comfy for you and was making your back hurt. Steve, thank god you had him, massaged your back for you and relieved all the built up tension and stress in your lower back for a moment.

You curled up with your pregnancy pillow, which was super comfy and you were definitely calling Joyce later to thank her, and you could feel yourself getting more and more tired. You didn’t sleep a ton last night, you just couldn’t fall asleep and then you had to get up to pee and then the baby started moving cause you started moving and it was just a mess.

“Guys, shh” Eddie said, still stroking your hair softly like he had been before you fell asleep. Dustin rolled her eyes and said “dude she has got you wrapped around your finger” “no she doesn’t. She’s sleeping for two, she needs the rest” he said and you mumbled softly, readjusting a little. He shushed you softly, making sure you didn’t wake up.

Everyone shook their heads and rolled their eyes. “You are totally crushing on her!” Nancy whisper shouted and he scoffed. Mike chuckled and said “it’s kinda obvious dude” “obvious how?” He said and Dustin snickered.

Steve did the iconic hands on the hips and said “first of all, prime example right here. You’re always with her, if you aren’t working, or with Hellfire you’re almost guaranteed to be with her. You're touching and hugging and holding her as much as she’ll let you, and you’re constantly getting all blushed and shit like a 15 year old girl. I’m telling you dude you have got the fatest crush on y/n”

“I’m just…a good friend. None of that means I like her, I'm just trying to support her” he said and you whimpered, moving a little. You mumbled his name and he shushed you quietly, kissing your head and telling you he was here.

Everyone rolled their eyes as you tried to move closer to him if that was possible. “If we’re gonna have to watch them pretend not to like each other for the rest of time I’m gonna throw a temper tantrum” Mike said.

The rest of your birthday was filled with a plethora of massages and greasy foods and crappy movies and a ton of smiles and laughs. It was nice to spend a whole day with everyone and to trick them into really taking care of you all day and giving you all those massages and getting you unhealthy foods.

“Jesus, I am stuffed,” you groaned, crawling back into bed after coming back upstairs from dinner. Eddie smiled and said “good, that’s how you should feel every night” “yea yea yea. I think I’m good on food for the next week” you said and he chuckled.

“I’m gonna go sleep in the guest bedroom, I’ll see you in the morning” he said and you groaned. You sat up (on your second try) and said “Ed’s, come on. Just stay in here with me for one night. I promise you can sleep in the bed, I’ll be okay. You always have to sleep on the uncomfortable pullout in the guest room or on the floor and it’s not fair to you”

“Fine, but only if we get to watch Back to the Future until we fall asleep” he said and you rolled your eyes. He curled up on the other side, rubbing your bump softly because he knew your bratty little girl especially kicked at night and would only stop if he was touching your bump.

The doctor did mention that you’d probably bust your ass a few times because of the boot, which you knew was going to happen anyways. However, the one and only time it happened everyone lost their shit. You got up to pee in the middle of the night and Steve had left your crutches in the corner of the room but you figured you could hop there and back no problem.

You made it over and did your business but on your way back your knee buckled and you fell, hard enough it sent a shock of pain through your spine. “Oww! Ohh, shit!” You groaned and placed a hand on your lower back, a whimper escaping your lips. Steve almost immediately came out of his room, panicking when he saw you on the ground with your face twisted up with pain.

“What the hell? What happened?” He asked and you groaned. You took a deep breath and said “I…ow, god I had to use the bathroom and you left my crutches in a corner and I thought I could make it” “why didn’t you call for me?” He asked and scooped you up, carrying you back to your room.

“You’re always doing everything for me, I just wanted to try and do something myself for once” you said and he set you back in bed. He sighed and said “are you in any pain?” “Just my back. I'm sure it’ll feel better in a little bit considering I'm not allowed to do anything but rest” you said and he shook his head.

Robin ran in and said “what happened? Are you okay?” “She tried to go to the bathroom by herself without crutches and fell!” Steve said and you sighed softly. You rubbed your bump to ease your restless daughters movements and Robin said “oh my- y/n you know you can’t do anything without your crutches, especially alone” “Yea, yea, yea, you two relax, I’m fine. I’m just gonna go back to sleep and I’ll be fine in the morning, alright?” You said and they both rolled their eyes.

Eddie busted in your room the next morning, chest heaving with panic. “You fell?!” He asked and you groaned. You sat up and said “I’m fine, I just had to use the bathroom and I lost my balance on the way back, okay? Stop worrying about me for 5 seconds, please” “something serious could’ve-” he said but you stopped him.

“Well it didn’t, okay? I’m fine, the baby is fine, she’s wiggling around in there just to prove it. We’re good, Eddie. I won’t do it again” you said and he sighed, cupping the sides of your bump. He kissed it and said “I swear I’m trying to keep you alive but your mother is just so god damn reckless-” You smacked him in the head and he chuckled.

The doctor said you would most likely give birth before your due date, and you’d hopefully have an easier labor and delivery because the baby was small. Boy, was she wrong. You were technically off bed rest at 38 weeks, but at that point all you wanted to do was be in bed, so you were mostly resting and relaxing.

Once the boot came off you moved in with Eddie again and you guys got your own trailer. It was a sturdier one that would hopefully not let out so much noise and not wake up the neighbors. Wayne was actually really supportive during those last few weeks, constantly reading the books in his spare time and telling you little facts and things he read.

The last few weeks were rough, you were having a lot of Braxton hicks, which were scaring the crap out of Eddie. These were just these slightly uncomfortable, pain in the ass false contractions that were supposed to prepare your body for the real thing but they were just annoying and every time you had one Eddie shit his pants cause he thought you were going into labor. You’d been having them for months but they got more intense since you were 9 months now.

The pain in your back and your hips and your feet was just unbearable. It was worse for you since you were a lot smaller than you should be, and the baby’s positions and movements weren’t helping either. Thankfully though, she was moving a lot less because you were running out of womb for her to fit in and it was harder for her to kick and move.

You felt humongous, but you totally weren’t. You barely looked like you were in your 9th month, it was honestly kinda freaky. Eddie was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you had a full grown baby just chilling in there. It was kinda cute to see your bump poking through all the shirts you stole from him, since his fit better.

You still saw the gang very often, all of them waiting really patiently for the baby to get here. You wanted her out just as much as they did, everything was painful and you were feeling slightly nauseous lately and there was so much pressure in your hips and pelvic area that you couldn’t relieve no matter what and it was killing you.

Your due date came and everyone came to the trailer, Steve and Robin promising to stay with you if the hospital would let them. Everyone else either definitely couldn’t miss work or their parents wouldn’t let them and they wouldn’t have cared enough to stay either way. You were exhausted, from nothing quite frankly. Just being this pregnant was killing you.

“Hey, mama bear. How are you feeling okay?” Robin said and you shrugged. You caressed your bump softly and said “I don’t know just…achy. Jeez, is everyone here? You do know there’s a slim chance she’ll actually be here today, right?” “Yea, yea, yea whatever. Besides, someone’s gotta clean up the trailer really well and make sure you two actually baby proofed it” She said and you chuckled.

You winced, god your ribs were so sore from her kicking. Eddie made you some toast, since you hated breakfast but should eat something cause you are eating for two and it is oh so important you eat at least 3 times a day. “I hate you” you said, taking a bite of your toast. He chuckled and kissed your head, then your bump.

“I better see your little face by tonight, or you’re in big trouble, bug,” he said and you chuckled. Eddie had a few nicknames for the little one, you had to admit it was really cute. She kicked his hand and you both gasped. “She’s not even here yet and she’s already giving attitude” you said and you both chuckled.

Naturally, your stubborn, bratty little girl showed no sign of arriving any time soon, so obviously she didn’t come on your due date. You knew she wasn’t going to, she was still super high up and if she was going to be here soon she would have dropped and been super low, which meant you’d be experiencing double the pain in your hips.

3 days passed and you figured “okay, maybe she just needed a few extra days, I’ll probably be going into labor tomorrow”. Day 5 came, no sign of her arrival being close at all. 1 week passed after your due date and you couldn’t take it anymore. Your entire body hurt, you were really struggling to even walk or stand.

Eddie had taken “paternity leave” even though he technically wasn’t her dad, you really needed someone to take care of you at the moment and he would give up everything for you right now. You hadn’t been eating a lot, the pain made it hard to even think much less want to eat and that was really scaring him. You had just gotten up to use the bathroom and you tried to get back into your bedroom but you couldn’t, pain erupting in your hips and back.

It was so bad it brought you to tears, and you were honestly terrified to move in fear of causing more pain but it was gonna kill you to keep standing here. Eddie opened his bedroom door and you whimpered, willing yourself to take a step so he could go back to bed. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He said and placed a warm hand on your back, massaging it gently with his knuckles.

You groaned and said “i-it…mmh- hurts…c-can’t move” “what hurts?” He asked and you whimpered again. You yelled out when he got to a particularly sore spot and he said “I’m sorry, I’m sorry y/n. Is it your back?” You nodded and let out a shaky breath.

He gently wrapped an arm around your waist, helping you to your room. You sniffled and bit your lip, trying not to yell as you sat down on your bed. Your pained whimpers and groans broke his heart, he slowly started massaging your back again, careful not to hurt you any more.

“Ohhh! I’m s-sorry” you said and he shushed you softly, kissing your head. You leaned your head on his shoulder as he said “it’s okay, it’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry, I know you’re in a lot of pain and I know that you’re struggling, you have no need to be sorry, okay? You don’t ever have to apologize for something like this,”

“I just…fuck- I-I just want to h-have this kid and be don-done with the pain! She was s-supposed to come early f-for fucks sa-sake! I’m a week overdue, h-how the- oww!” You groaned and he took a deep breath.

“Are you sure this isn’t the start of labor? That pamphlet the doctor gave us said you might feel it in your back first” he said and you let out a shaky breath. You sniffled and said “i-it can’t be. Contractions come a-and go, this pain is…mmh- it’s c-constant”

“Okay, okay, just relax” he said and continued rubbing and massaging your back. It took a while but the pain subsided and you laid down, Eddie kindly continued massaging your lower back to help you fall back asleep.

“I’m sorry about the little breakdown” you said, still sniffling every now and then. He chuckled and said “it’s okay…I’m sure this is fucking with your head in all kinds of way in addition to all the shit that’s already going on” “and of course it’s all happening to me” you said and laughed a little.

Eddie sighed and said “it’s going to be okay, you know that right? One day, all of this will hopefully be a much more faint memory in your head and you’ll be remembering a moment like this as you drop her off at her first day of highschool, or some shit like that” “yea, yea, I know. Ohh god, I can’t wait to complain about how much pain she caused me when she wants to be a little brat about something stupid” you said and you both chuckled.

You woke up late the next morning, the Hellfire club playing a game in the living room. Eddie immediately snapped out of character when he realized you were in the room and grabbed your plate of breakfast, asking you how you were feeling now and completely putting the game on pause for you.

The boys had heard about how much you were struggling and how it was getting worse and didn’t dare to complain about it. They didn’t realize that carrying a baby was so painful, they were all wondering how you were gonna handle the whole tearing in half thing.

“Hey, listen here kid we’ve been waiting like a long ass time, this is your official eviction notice you’ve got 24 hours or…or I’m gonna force you to play D&D every single day till you’re out of your mothers house” Dustin said and you chuckled.

Naturally, she didn’t show up the next day either. Or the day after that. You went 11 days past your due date, and you were an absolute wreck. You couldn’t stop crying, from your whole body being in pain, being overly emotional, your boobs so swollen that any kind of movement was killing you, the fact that you couldn’t breathe with the baby stuck in your ribs 24/7, the fear that you would have to have a c-section even though you’re terrified of surgery.

You were also exhausted, you didn’t get a lot of sleep because you’d been having contractions all night. You didn’t tell Eddie because they were like 20 minutes apart and they were so faint and gentle it took about an hour and a half to even believe you were starting to go into labor. But they’d gotten closer, like 7 minutes apart closer. It wasn’t abnormal for them to be closer, they started at 10pm yesterday and it was 6pm the next day.

Steve and Robin were here today, trying to help you feel better. “Y/n you have to stop crying, you’re gonna make yourself sick, come on,” Steve said and wiped your tears away. You sniffled and said “I’m f-fine” Yeah, everything sucked but the main reason you were crying was because the contractions were getting more painful and everything felt like it was happening too fast all of a sudden.

“Listen, we’re all gonna go get food, we should be back in about an hour. Are you gonna be okay until then, or do you want one of us to stay with you?” He asked and you took a deep breath. You nodded and said “I’ll be f-fine. I’ll probably t-take a nap” “okay, okay that’s good. You need the sleep, Eddie said you were up most of the night but you need to get all the rest you can right now” he said.

They all left and you sighed, rubbing your bump softly. You sniffled and said “alright, kid. I know I’ve been begging you to come out for the last two weeks, but you’ve got to hold off for another hour, okay?” You ran your hands through your hair and gasped, feeling another contraction wreak havoc on your stomach.

Uh-oh. That one was 6 minutes apart from the last one. That wasn’t supposed to happen. “Shit- ahh! No, no, no- damn it!” You groaned, you absolutely could not go into active labor right now. You sure as hell couldn’t drive through the pain, you’d crash (again). Not to mention, how the hell were you gonna tell Eddie. He promised you he’d be there for whatever the hospital allowed him to be in the room for.

Once that contraction passed, you just tried to take some deep breaths and calm down, realizing that maybe you could ride out this last hour and then they’d come back and you’d finally get to meet your baby girl. But…of course that wasn’t the case.

With a lot of breathing and staying calm and really managing the stress of everything you were able to keep the tears from coming for a while, at least until you stood up to relieve an odd pressure in your hips and your water broke.

Eventually I’ll be writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

So just dm me the taglist you want to be added to and I’ll add you :)

Taglist: @and-claudia @local-bxbby @this-is-mycrisis @silky-luxe @youcantseem3 @natashaashleymarvelromanoff @kellysimagines @readsalot73

[cellophaine]

Lingered Affection (Chapter V)

Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Word Count: 5309

Series Summary: You thought breaking up with Matt was the right thing to do. For his sake and yours. Life went on as you navigated through it with the lingered love and affection you still had for each other, neither of you could let go.

Chapter Warnings: Brief depiction of domestic violence, family issues, sexual harassment.

Author's Note: I got distracted while looking for Matt Murdock in a tuxedo GIFs because this man is so DAMN fine. I wanna spread him on a ciabatta bun. Okay I'm done.

Also, I'm sorry for the angst.

Any likes, comments, reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter :)

Taglist: @juniebugg <3

Gif Credit

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You spent days alternating between the coffee shop and the little studio in your apartment. You poured your heart and soul into the painting, letting your frustration, love, and this confusing, conflicted feeling worked the brushes and colours for you. You weren't sure if doing this would help, but you felt the speck of relief you so desperately sought after. At this moment, you'd settle for that. 




At home, on a snowy day, the frail sunlight filtered through your window felt cold and distant; you were putting more paints on the palette when you received an unknown number on your phone. 

'Could this be Matt?'

You had his numbers saved, his daytime phone and the one on his burner he used every time he went on a patrol. If he had to contact you with a different number, something could be very wrong. However, to your relief and a hint of disappointment, the voice speaking up at the end of the line was a woman, asking for a confirmation of your name.




"Yes, this is her. May I ask who's calling?"




"Hello. My name is Josephine Vandewalt. You can just call me Josephine. I'm an art curator for the Augora gallery. Have you heard of us?"




"Yes, I have. I've been to a few shows at your gallery. I'm sorry, how did you get my number?"




"That's awesome. Then I think you have an idea of our overall vision. I got your information from Archie, who hired you to do the 'Silent' mural in Chelsea!"




"Oh! Right. Uhm, what do you need me for?"




"I've looked you up, and I'm very impressed with your works. Therefore, I want to feature you in our next show. I think your paintings can go well with the theme of the exhibit. However, I would like to see your other works as well, everything, including those that are in progress."




Your eyes widen at the offer. You'd given up this route long ago since your paintings were denied at every gallery you applied to, ones with free to inexpensive exhibition fees. To be presented with an opportunity like this was something you never thought possible. Yet, you were skeptical. So you decided to hear what she had to say first. 




"Of course! When are you available?"




"Great! I was hoping you'd say so. How about tomorrow at 2? I can drop by wherever you store your works, take a look, and we'll go from there."




After giving her your address, you hung up. You pondered the possibilities of how this might go. You'd get a chance to promote your work, but that didn't always mean more clients, more paintings sold, more money. Nevertheless, Augora was a well-known gallery with a steady stream of visitors, clients and donors, so this could be a great chance at gaining exposure, selling your works and networking. You sighed, telling yourself to take one thing at a time, turning back to the painting in front of you.




The next day, at approximately 2 PM, three quick raps resounded at your door. You opened it to reveal a woman dressed in a long trench coat that brushed over her black boots, dotted with snow, a stylish, colourful scarf adorned her neck.




She said your name with a cheeriness that could brighten the gloomy weather in New York, shaking your hand with enthusiasm. After the initial greeting, you stepped aside to welcome her in and led her to your studio. 




Josephine took a close inspection on the paintings you'd set out the night before, muttering to herself and sometimes making you know which pieces you could use. You took mental notes of her comments when she stood before your easel, with your unfinished painting still on it.




"Is this completed? I think it would make a great feature on your designated wall at the show."




You hesitated before answering her.




"This piece is quite personal for me. I'm not sure if I could show it to a lot of other people, let alone sell it."




"Aren't they all, personal? The artworks, I mean. Every one of these is a part of you, and you have been selling them to strangers. So what's the difference this one makes? You could make something out of it, at least, in case it gets sold."




You didn't want to tell Josephine that this painting was inspired by your ex-boyfriend, who you were still in love with. You didn't want to admit it, but she was right. This painting was no different from what you usually do. You tried to move on from him, didn't you? Maybe if the work were sold, it would get easier. However, the thought of gaining monetary compensation from a part of him that you built, something that had helped you in the past few days, made you felt wrong. It seemed like your life had a thing for conundrums.




"What if I add it to my collection, just to display, not to sell? It means a lot to me."




"That would work. I can't guarantee that people won't try to buy it from you, but I can mark it as not-for-sale on the list. Just think about it, alright? If you change your mind, you have my number."




You nodded, feeling better. After finalizing the paintings, you and Josephine made your way to the living room to begin the paperwork and contract talks. You found their conditions reasonable and surprising for an independent gallery in New York, with a 40% sales commission and no exhibition fees or any other additional charges. Josephine explained how they had some donors with a knack for new and unknown artists; therefore, the show was funded with a generous budget.

'Just my luck.' You thought.

Josephine bid you adieu with a promise of sending you the contract on the next day. After that, you had two weeks to prepare for the show, which included getting the artworks ready for sale, packing them up to transport them to the gallery, and working closely with Josephine to mark down their prices. During that time, you put final touches to the painting, finding yourself yearning for the process that was over. You traced your finger over the dry paint, over the blurry line where Matt's eyes were, the fullness of his lips, shaped into a beautiful arc, his jaw formed a graceful line down the slope of his neck, disappeared into the darkness framing his face. You weren't surprised at how you could recreate his face on the canvas without the help of a reference photo. All those time you spent with him, with your head on his laps, gazing up at him. His unseeing eyes filled with pure love and adoration when he angled his face down to you, giving you the sweetest smile. He would use his hands to caress your face lovingly, his fingers sometimes wandering, exploring your face with the softest touches. You took all of that in, committed those tender moments to your memory. Everything about him was forged into your mind like a branded mark, the kind that had your skin scorched, but you would gladly endure the pain, to have the scar with you.

The days passed by in a blur, with you surrounded by plastic covers, bubble wrap rolls, boxes and phone calls. Today was a special day, but you didn't want to go out to celebrate since it would only remind you of this day last year when you spent it with Matt. Instead, you pushed through the workload, hoping to take your mind off the ache that had started pounding on the back of your mind. Taking a break from the craziness of your tiny studio, you grabbed a mug of tea, sitting down on the window sill by the fire escape. You took in the sight of snow falling, sprinkled on the scene before you. You thought briefly of Matt, hoping he wouldn't stay out too long in this weather. Your eyes moved onto the alley below, and that was when something red caught your attention. You squinted your eyes, head moving closer to the glass pane, staring at the red thing covered in a layer of light snow. Opening the window, you stepped out into the cold, picking the box up and dusting off the snowflakes. You lifted the lid up to reveal a brown paper-wrapped package inside; on top of it was a folded piece of paper with your name written clumsily. You recognized the strokes of the pen, the smudge of the ink from the occasional notes Matt left you with few simple words. Hastily unfolding the paper, you read:

'Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Always yours,

- Matt.'

The letters were awkwardly placed, otherwise comprehensible. There were streaks in a few places. Matt must have used his finger to track where he was writing. You wondered if he had asked Foggy for help? You pressed the piece of paper to your chest, feeling the familiar tug at your heart, much stronger now than it had been recently. He remembered your birthday. And he took the time to drop it off at your place, knowing you didn't want to see him, despite how things ended between you two. But why you didn't feel like it was over?

You inhaled sharply; the cold air entered your lungs, clearing your mind. You made your way back inside, bringing the box with you. Placing it on the kitchen counter, you set the note aside and peeled back the paper, the material crinkled in your hands. You stared at the items, dumbfounded. Inside was a box of perfume, still new with the plastic wrap. It was your go-to fragrance since the faint floral smell didn't overwhelm Matt, until the manufacture for the scent stopped, and you couldn't find it anywhere a few months back. You remembered how Matt would bury his face into the crook of your neck, muttering between peppered kisses he pressed on your skin about how good you smelled, how the perfume complimented your natural scent, and how he missed your unmistakable subtle aroma when you weren't around. You smiled fondly at the memory, feeling the knot on your throat tighten. You swallowed it down and moved on to the next object: a simple photo frame with an art print inside. You recognized it instantly. Matt had asked for one of your favourite art pieces, and you described it to him; the conversation was still fresh on your mind.

"It's a hard question, but for now, I'd say Guido Borelli's 'Un Cielo Verdolino'. I love the use of colours in it and the composition. It feels like the heat of summer bounced off the pavement, hitting you in a pleasant way. The air is balmy. The wind feels cool on your face, tangles in your hair, dancing on your skin. The citrus smell of an orange being peeled. Tiny drops of lemon juice dash off the pulp when the fruit is being cut in half. The taste of fresh grape burst open in your mouth, sugary sweet. It feels like a perfect summer. You feel free. I'm making this sounds very dramatic, aren't I?"

Matt had this adoring expression on his face then, concentrated on you. He wished he could bottle your voice at this moment, so when he missed you, he could open the stopper and listen to you again, letting your voice lull him into a sweet dream.

You put your face between your hands, holding back a sob that threatened to escape. Your tears, however, rolled down your cheeks silently. Of course, Matt would do something like this. Because he might still love you, still showed that he cared about you, even when he couldn't be with you.

'This is for his own good.'

You reminded yourself. But now, that voice faltered and full of doubts, more than ever.

The opening night arrived as you grew more anxious. You ran your hands down your clothes, a puff-sleeve dress with a sweetheart neckline, the length stopped above your knees. Your hair glided smoothly over the bare skin, brushed over the simple jewelry you wore. Finally, after the opening ceremony, the door to the gallery opened, welcoming a stream of guests. You swallowed at the sheer amount of people that wouldn't stop pouring in, offering a smile as people approached your wall and talked to you.

The first hour went by swimmingly. There was a crowd of six people who surrounded your paintings, asking you questions. One of them pointed to your central piece, the one with the features you knew too well, better than the back of your hand. The portrait of Matt with his face angled slightly up towards the ghost white light, while the darkness surrounded him, leaving some of his attributes shown. The shapes of his eyes were recognizable but cloudy as if they were out of focus. The streams of red started from the corners of his blurred eyes, moved down to his cheeks, onto his jaw, throat and disappeared into the darkness. The pop of colour was dotted with tiny pieces of gold foil, making the scarlet lines shimmer under the light. Matt's face was an expression of despair, his brows slightly scrunched up, his lips parted open as if to let out a prayer, a mournful exhale.

You thought about Matt's struggle to accept himself for who he was, what he had done to protect Hell's Kitchen and his loved ones. There was no perfect solution, not without having his hands drenched in blood. His Daredevil identity had done more than enough damage to him and those that cared about him. You had a taste of it, and he blamed himself to the point he tried to push you away. You could see the contrary in his hurtful words, putting distance between you two. Despite his fear of abandonment, he did it for your own good. You knew the feeling too well. But you stayed with him, in the eye of the storm, showing him that he didn't have to choose, and it was your choice to stay.

How ironic it was.

May spotted you, gave you a warm smile and a crushing hug, whispering words of congratulations in your ears. She took a look at your paintings; eyes stopped at the expressionism portrait of Matt. The title plate gleamed under the light of the gallery.

'HEART OF GOLD.'

Before she could say anything, a person close by required your attention. You mouthed 'sorry' to her. She waved dismissively and pointed in the direction of the bar. You nodded, grateful for the distraction. You turned to the man in the grey suit; his cologne was so strong that you recoiled internally. He flashed a smile at you, extending a hand.

"I'm Thomas, but my friends call me Tom. I have to say, I've seen all the artists and their beautiful paintings here tonight, but none of them could compare to you."

You shook his hand, huffing out a chuckle, answering him with mild amusement.

"Thank you for your kind words. I'm honoured to be a part of such an amazing show since everyone here contributes a unique point of view and vision."

He clicked his tongue, his lips shaped into a disagreement.

"Yeah yeah. What I meant to say is you're beautiful. You shouldn't be standing here with me; you should be on these walls like a work of art you are."

There it was — a pickup line, as cheesy as it could get. The smile was frozen on your face as you said nothing in return. Thomas continued, didn't notice your silence.

"I might take home one of your paintings. Or two. Putting them up in my bedroom, perhaps. What do you think?"

He got the sleazy, suggestive look in his eyes that you just wanted to scrape off with your bare hands. Forcing out a friendly smile, you responded.

"Of course! If that's what you want. You can contact Josephine regarding the payment process, the shipping details and more."

From behind you, the familiar muffled sound echoed. Tap. Tap. Tap. Why was that sound so familiar?

"Maybe I'll take this one." Thomas gestured at 'Heart of Gold'.

"I'm sorry, but that painting is for display purposes only. It's not for sale."

Tap.

A woman's smooth voice with a gorgeous accent glided in between you and Thomas, making you turn around.

"Such a shame, don't you think …."

Your posture went stiff as your eyes settled on the couple behind you, Thomas forgotten. Your blood ran cold at the first sight of the man.

"… Matthew?"

Your heart dropped when you saw how his hand gripped her arm in a similar fashion to when he held yours. You felt like all the air in your lungs had evaporated as you took in the sight of Matt, feeling like a stranded traveller gazing upon their salvation. He looked so painfully beautiful in the black suit that hugged his body just right; the bowtie sat straight and neat on the collar. He appeared to be in good health, as far as you could tell, since you couldn't detect the usual sight of bruises on the open skin of his neck, hands and face. He had the same surprised expression on his face, although he hid it well. The silence stretched on, and Matt covered it up with a rigid comment and a tense chuckle.

"I wouldn't know about that."

The woman walked closer to you; Matt's hand fell to his side as he stood still, his knuckles white on the walking cane. She held out a hand to you to shake, introducing herself.

"Elektra Natchios, and my companion here is Matthew Murdock."

You offered your name in return, not sure how this would play out. Would he pretend that he didn't know you in front of his new girlfriend?

"We know each other, Elektra. There's no need of introduction."

"Oh? How did you become acquainted?"

This time, you spoke up first.

"We used to date a while ago. It wasn't anything serious."

Matt's lips slightly opened, his brows knitted in betrayal. Your heart picked up again, knowing he could tell that you were lying. You schooled your expression to be detached, brushing the nerves off as if it was nothing. Elektra didn't have to know the truth.

"What a small world."

Elektra shot you a knowing look as if she could pick on your words of deception. Matt tugged on her arm with a gentle but stern force, pulling on her attention.

"Can we talk?"

Elektra raised a brow in amusement.

"Alright, Matthew."

She gave you a nod, excusing herself. Matt didn't turn back once, walking her to the other side of the room, but you could see them still. They appeared to be in disagreement; words and precise hand gestures were exchanged. They looked good together, you had to admit. She was beautiful, in a way you knew you couldn't compare. She seemed confident and self-assured, from what you could tell. Why wouldn't Matt fall for her?

Still, why did he send you the birthday gift? Why did he show that he cared? Was it some kind of cruel joke?

'You know damn well it couldn't be any more cruel than what you did to him.'

You reminded yourself. Your nails dug hard into the palms of your hands. You were lost, bombarded with confusion and a bit of jealousy until a voice of a stranger disrupted your thoughts. You looked down at your hands, seeing all the crescent moon marks peppered your palms, some of them had turned to a dull purple. Looking up, you couldn't see Matt and Elektra anywhere.

Another hour or so went by, you didn't keep track of the time anymore. You'd talked to multiple people, shook many hands, received compliments, criticism and promises of new projects. You felt happy at the new opportunities, at the number of people interested in your art. The exhaustion crawled up your spine, and you felt tired from smiling, knowing Matt was in the same building as you, probably cozying up with Elektra. At an art show, like how you used to spend time together. You shouldn't feel this way. You broke up with him. He was free to date anyone he wanted. Yet, the birthday message kept sneaking in, making itself known, making you feel conflicted. Did he do it because he felt pity for you?

You felt a tap on your shoulder, thinking it was May. You were disappointed to see Thomas, now with a drink in his hand. He tilted his head to get closer to your ear, and you leaned back just slightly.

"I've just bought one of your paintings. Do you want something to celebrate? Champagne? Some wine, maybe?"

Giving your best friendly smile, you dipped your head slightly in appreciation.

"Thank you so much for your generosity. And thank you for the drink offering, but I don't feel like drinking anything right now."

"C'mon, let loose. Have some fun. I think it's within my rights that you have a drink with me since, you know, your work isn't cheap."

You laughed nervously.

"I appreciate your support, but I'd rather not."

He placed his hand on your shoulder, his fingers brushed over the bare skin, tightened uncomfortably. Your heart dropped to your stomach, your body frozen. The hand on your shoulder was painfully familiar, not in a good way. It reminded you of all the times your dad put his hands on you in a violent manner. Slaps after slaps, punches after punches because you 'don't listen', you 'aren't good enough', you 'are a fucking burden', you 'should do whatever the fuck I told you to' because 'you are my child' and you 'owe me'. The even worse thing was, your mom looked away. Every time.

You bit your bottom lip, trying to calm the tremor that started unfolding throughout your body. You tried to smile, rolling your shoulder in the hope of getting rid of his hand, your voice firm.

"Please, I don't think it's a good idea."

He only got closer, close enough that a sharp waft of air soaked with alcohol and bad breath fanned your face, making you squirm. His face filled your vision, red and angry, the sight you hoped to never have to see again. You pushed hard at his chest, forced him to take a step back. The scotch in his hand sloshed, and a few drops fell on his well-pressed trousers and expensive-looking shoes. He assessed the damage, looking up at you with a wave of seething anger. The relief you felt was short-lived as the dread filled in. Horrified at what you just did, you took a step back, hoping he wouldn't make rash moves in the middle of the gallery. He stomped towards you, face flaming, raising his voice in a controlled measure.

"Do you have any idea …"

"Any idea that you're about to make an embarrassing spectacle of yourself? I'd advise you to step back and not humiliate yourself any further than you already have. People are watching. I don't need to see to know that."

It was Matt. He had inserted himself between you and the man, creating a barrier between you. His cane was extended, stopped right at Thomas' feet to cease his steps. The warmth and the familiar scent radiated off his body made you sag a little in relief. Around you, people stared; some got closer. You saw Josephine speaking into the communication device clipped to her dress.

"And who are you? Just because you're blind, don't think that I'm not afraid to beat you up."

Thomas' voice shimmered with rage. A small chuckle escaped Matt. He smirked. The damn smirk that you loved so much.

"I would like to see you try."

Before Thomas could say anything else, two security guards came up and escorted him out. The man grumbled like a spoiled child, begrudgingly followed the guards, not before calling you names and swearing he'd withdraw the offer he made on your painting. Sighing heavily to yourself, you walked off and muttered 'Now I need a drink' under your breath, deliberately ignored how Matt had turned to you, no doubt to see if you were okay. You were not. And you needed to get away from the whispers, from the pity eyes that were directed at you, leaving Matt reluctantly followed your trail.

The bar was quite empty, saved for few people milling around. You waved a bartender over, asking for a whiskey. You gulped the entire glass in one movement and regretted it instantly. The alcohol burned your throat, making you recoil. But you felt like drinking more. You flagged down another whiskey, threw back half of it before setting the glass down. As you finished the other half, Matt walked up and settled beside you, with a small distance between you two.

"Maybe you should slow down on the whiskey. You're gonna regret it tomorrow. You don't have a very strong alcohol tolerance."

You huffed out a humourless laugh, retorted.

"Geez, thanks. That's the whole point. At least I could forget what just happened."

"It wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself."

You turned sharply at him, eyes filled with anger. Because once again, he hit the nail right on the head with a few simple words. You were doing so well, even with his and Elektra's presence here. You felt like the incident ruined tonight, ruined your hard work. You were keeping it together just fine before it wrecked your crumbling composure. You thought about how you could have reacted differently so that things wouldn't have escalated. But the other part of you understood that what you did was right. Defending yourself was never wrong. He harassed you, put his hand on you, made you felt scared and weak. You swore you'd never be under anyone else's mercy again. But it happened. And you froze. You couldn't help but reprimanded yourself for it.

Now Matt was by your side after so long. You ached for him, but at the same time, you wished he didn't know you this well. It was hard enough to cut him out of your life. It hurt to see the influence you both had on each other.

"And what do you know about that, Murdock? I've got it handled. Just because we dated, we fucked, we had some sleepovers doesn't mean you understand me inside and out, okay? So why don't you scuttle back to your new girlfriend? I bet she's looking for you."

You forced the words out with the most cruelty you could muster. The words grew thorns in your throat, and the lingering taste of whiskey made it worse. Matt's brows furrowed, the corner of his mouth dipped down at your poisonous remarks. He sighed, clearly exhausted with your attempt to spite him even more.

"He could have seriously injured you. And, Elektra is not my girlfriend. I'm helping her with ... something. I know damn well you didn't mean a single word you've just said, so what was all of that for?"

You heard your name on his lips, the syllables soft and alluring.

"I know you didn't mean that. You know how much it hurts me to hear those words coming from you. You're being spiteful to make me hate you."

He gently took your hand in his and pressed it at his chest. The rhythm of his heart pounded wildly.

"I can not take it when you're being cruel to yourself."

You jerked your hand away, feeling your defences soften as the warmth of his chest pulled you in.

"You're wasting your time here, Murdock. I'm not some hopeless cause you think you can work on. I don't need your help. I don't need your charity."

He paused a beat, seemingly grew more frustrated, continued.

"I think I understand why. You're desperate to convince yourself that you don't love me anymore because you're scared. You're scared of relying on me because you think I'll leave you someday. You don't want to believe that you could be with me and things would be fine. You don't trust me. And what does that say about you? That you're a coward."

You retorted with more heat.

"At least I had the courage to leave before it could get worse. Look at us, fighting, after all this time. You should be grateful that I left. Why can't you just let me go? I don't love you anymore. You're just wasting your time with me."

"You can drop the act. Why do you keep lying and pushing me away?"

"I'm gonna keep lying until I believe in the lie itself, Matt. Maybe you should try it too. You just have to be convincing enough."

His hand on the cane tighten, almost like he could crush it at any moment.

"Fine. Lie to yourself. Believe whatever you want. When you're done moping and feeling sorry for yourself, I won't be there for you. Not anymore."

He walked off, the taps of his cane blended in with the sound of the awful relief that you'd looked for since the day you walked out of his apartment. The pain in your chest grew in size, the tears in your eyes blurred your vision, you tried your hardest not to let them fall. You didn't want to go back out there with a tear-stained face. You still had a job to do.

Before you knew it, the night was over. You said goodnight to some fellow artists; some of them asked if you would like to join them for a creative session sometimes. Josephine checked in with you, squeezed your arm reassuringly and told you to go on home safely. After changing into something more comfortable, you fell onto your bed, exhausted from the day, looked out onto the bedside table with Matt's neatly folded hoodie on top. You turned away from the garment, knowing that you didn't deserve that comfort tonight. The alcohol you had whisked you into a fitful sleep, full of red lights, smoke and him.

Three days after the opening night, you received a call from Josephine.

"Hey, darling. I'm calling to let you know that your paintings sure sell quickly. There's only two of them left, and that included the one you didn't want to sell."

You perked up a little at the news. Still reeling from the fight with Matt, you needed every piece of goodness you could get.

"That's awesome! Is there a 'but' here?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Someone really wanted to buy that painting off of you. They have offered a pretty big number."

"Josephine, I'm sorry, but I won't change my mind."

"I know, darling. That's what I told them. But they insisted. They wanted me to pass on an invitation to brunch with them to you at 1 PM on Wednesday. So, two days from now on. They seemed very determined to convince you. They also wanted to have a chat with the artist behind the painting."

You bit your lip, musing over the offer. You decided to take the bait out of curiosity.

"Alright. What's the address?"

The next day, standing at the front door of the restaurant, you took in the sight of the sight of the place. 'Fancy', you thought. The person that chose this place had money to waste. You walked in; before you could say anything, the host saw you, gave you a warm welcome and confirmed your name. You nodded, letting him take your coat and lead you to a table in a secluded but well-lit area. You settled down in the seat, speaking up.

"Hello, Elektra."

[buckybleu]

❣︎ before paris ❣︎

pairing: artist(painter)!Shangqi/Shang-Chi x fem!reader

summary: A train ride to Paris leaves a painter to meet his muse.

warnings: fluff; just a good ol' fashion love story blooming

A/N: Sorry it's been awhile since I've written or posted anything. But we're back and this time for @tom-whore-dleston 500 followers writing challenge (congrats again babe 💖). It is inspired by the opening scenes of "Before Sunrise", one my favorite romance movie (along with the rest of the Before trilogy). I hope you enjoy, happy reading! 🎨

**Please do check out the rest of her 500 followers writing challenge masterlist, so many other amazing stories have also been submitted.

word count: 1.9k

reblogs/likes/comments are greatly appreciated! ❤️

The French countryside passes you like a blurry dream, one you wish you could recall every detail to daydream the coming night. The window creaks as the train speeds across the tracks; the shaking and rumbling nearly lull you to sleep, the words inked in the book in front of you slowly forgotten. Aside from the soft vibrations of the train, loud voices of a couple seated in the booth beside you, keep you awake. A couple no older than 45, quarrel with one another. Your three years of high school French picks up bits and pieces of their argument.

Something about missing the correct stop and airplane tickets. Your body jumps when the woman bolts from her seat and starts towards the next carriage, her husband following quickly behind. Their scene doesn’t go unnoticed, their harsh tones definitely disrupting other passengers. Your pointer finger plays with the corner of the page, eyes focused on the city coming into view, mesmerized by its beauty.

“Je suis désolé de vous déranger. Puis-je avoir ce siège?” You turn your head, only be met with warm, honey eyes. A man with dark fluffy hair gives you a gentle smile. He’s dressed in a white shirt and onyx pants speckled with colorful paint, an olive blouson jacket tied around his waist. He has a sketchbook tucked under his arm while a distressed, caramel leather satchel sits on top of his shoulder.

You offer him an apologetic smile, “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t speak french.”

“Sorry, uhm. Is it okay for me to sit here? A couple was arguing in the other carriage and I couldn’t focus.”

“Of course, please.” You move your bag onto the floor by your feet, as the stranger settles in beside you. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“I’m Shangqi, nice to meet you.” When you shake his hand, you notice the graphite staining knuckles and side of his palm. “So, where are you heading?”

“Not sure if I’m being honest. I might stay in Paris for a bit. Maybe take a train to Brussels, possibly Luxembourg too.” You recline into your seat and turn towards Shangqi, “And you?”

There’s a strange magnetic pull towards you that Shangqi can’t put his finger on. Maybe it’s the way how freely you answered him; no schedule or agenda to dictate your travel, no worries to anchor you down. How effortlessly beautiful you appear in a soft periwinkle sweater and denim skirt. If he didn’t know any better, you were an angel sent by the heavens to grace the earth.

“Paris.” It’s the only answer he’s able to give, still beguiled by you. He shakes himself from your trance when you ask him what’s his plan there. “I’m a painter. My work is being showcased at an art gallery.”

“You must be a big-time artist if you have a whole art gallery dedicated to your work.” Your tone isn’t condescending but genuine and intriguing.

“I mean, I wouldn’t say anything big. Just a painter.” Heat dusts across Shangqi’s cheeks, unable to fully accept your compliment.

You offer him a reassuring smile, “Painters are artists, no? Artists in their own unique creativity and medium. I think you’re being too humble. I’m positive whatever is being showcased, is amazing.”

“You seem so sure for someone who’s never seen any of my work.” Shangqi’s laugh is light and music to your ears. It’s a sound that you wished you could hear everyday for the rest of your life. Every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep.

“Show me then.”

○•*•○※○•*•○※○•*•○※○

For the remainder of the train ride, Shangqi shows you every piece in his sketchbook, photos of his previous gallery in San Francisco and New York, and enthusiastically retells the story of how he accidentally spilled a gallon of neon pink paint on best friend. There’s no awkward pause, just laughter and banter between one another. For two people who have only known each other for 25 minutes, they gazed and conversed like they’ve known each other for 25 years. Old pals catching up.

“Alright, I feel like we’ve talked enough about me. Let’s talk about you” Shangqi proposes. You and Shangqi had moved the conversation to the dining car, an espresso sitting in front of the both of you. The dining car is a bit more lively; other passengers chat while sipping on tea or munch on pastries and sandwiches.

You set down your cup and rest your chin on the palm of your hand, “What do you want to know?”

“Anything.” Shangqi doesn’t care what you give him, as long as it's something. “Maybe why Paris?”

“What do you mean?” You sit forward, curious about how he’ll answer.

Shangqi clears his throat and leans closer to you, his voice a bit quiet. “You said you’re staying in Paris. What’s in Paris for you?” His heart starts to flutter when a smile spreads across your lips.

“A lot of things are in Paris, Shangqi.” Your eyes now focus on the espresso, finger moving the spoon in circles. “I’m not sure what’s there or what I’m looking for. But what I do know is that I’m glad to be there,” You softly chuckle when you look up and see Shangqi’s peculiar expression.

“I’m glad you’re here too.” Shangqi doesn’t register what he’s said until you let out an airy laughter. “I-I mean uhm, if you didn’t come to Paris I wouldn’t have met you here. The train ride probably would’ve been much more boring.”

“Maybe, but you’d probably be occupied with your sketches and what not.” For the first time during your conversation, there’s a small pause. Your gaze is set on the falling sun outside your window. Shangqi takes this moment to take in how hues of orange and pink rest on your face, light illuminating the high points of your face. Your eyes sparkle like diamonds, expression angelic.

You turn your gaze back to Shangqi, a hopeful diction plays in your voice. “I think I’m in Paris to find beauty.”

“Beauty?” Shangqi quizzically asks.

“Within myself, that is.” There’s something sad in your eyes, but your smile hides it. “C’mon, we only have an hour left before we get to Paris. Let’s go relax a bit.” You leave no room for Shangqi to argue as you’re already halfway down the aisle.

○•*•○※○•*•○※○•*•○※○

Shangqi never figured out what you meant by beauty. Beauty within myself, you said. What did you mean by that? He came to the conclusion you’re beautiful inside and out based on the conversation alone. Genuine. Intelligent. Kind. Adventurous. Empathetic. The list goes on. Shangqi has never met anyone like you. One in a million.

Soft snores escape from you, lips slightly parted. The bit of sun emitted a heavenly glow as your head rested against the windows. The sight of you, feet tucked under and his jacket draped across your body, was something Shangqi didn’t know if he'd get another glimpse. Maybe in another lifetime, but here right now, Shangqi wanted to eternalize it.

Shangqi flips open to a clean, empty page in his sketchbook. The moment his pencil touches the paper, Shangqi’s creativity binds to your beauty. He meticulously outlines the structure of your body, slowly adding details to match the alluring curves and dips of you. The mesmerizing attraction of you fuels his mind and hands, drowning all his thoughts and artistry onto the paper. He’s not sure how long ago he finished the portrait, but there’s an eternal happiness Shangqi feels. The beauty he once thought to slip through his fingers, now immortalized by graphite. Pleased with his portrait, Shangqi slips his sketchbook into his satchel. Stealing one more uninterrupted moment, he watches the slow rise and fall of your body.

“Mesdames, messieurs, dans quelques instants notre TGV desservira la gare du Nord. Une minute d’arrêt. Assurez-vous de ne rien avoir oublié.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, in a few minutes our TGV will enter Nord station. One minute stop. Make sure you don’t forget anything.”

The train announcement stirs you awake, rubbing the bits of sleep away. You turn to Shangqi, giving him a sweet smile. “Thank you for the jacket. You didn’t have to.” You hesitantly peel the jacket off, already missing it’s warmth and lingering smell of his bergamot and lemon cologne. “Are we almost there?”

“Yea. Train announcer said we’ll be there in a few minutes. We should probably start packing up” he says.

It’s a comfortable silence as you guys pack, while stealing glances at one another. You want to ask more, wanting to find out where Shangqi’s staying and seeing if he’s up for dinner. But before you could say a word, the announcer notifies you’ve arrived at the station. Passengers swiftly unboard, eagerly ready to go wherever they need to be. You and Shangqi, however, draw out time, holding onto every second left you have with one another.

“So where are you heading to now that you’re in Paris?” Shangqi asks.

“I’m staying with my friend, Yelena. She should be here soon.” You glance around the busy station, hoping Yelena isn’t here yet. You turn back to Shangqi, “Are you meeting up with anyone? Or heading off right away?” There’s a bit of hope in your voice, hope that Shangqi would stay a little longer.

“Yea, I gotta get going. I need to meet up with the gallery director and make sure everything is good to go. But you-” Shangqi is cut off when Yelena runs towards you and wraps her arms around your shoulders.

“Yelena! Hey!” You giggle when she presses a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll be right out, just saying by to a friend”

“Alright, but hurry and wrap it up. Nat and Clint are hungry and grumpy.” Yelena grabs your bags, not before giving Shangqi a deathly stare.

“Is she always that uh, protective?” Shangqi can still feel Yelena’s eyes burning into the back of his head.

“Only with the ones she loves. Yelena is really delightful once she warms up to you.” You look over Shangqi’s shoulder to see an impatient Natasha tapping her watch. “I have to get going, my friends are waiting on me. I had a lot of fun getting to know you, Shangqi. I wish we had more time together.”

You pull Shangqi into a hug, holding onto him longer than one should. Shangqi presses a soft kiss into your hair. You give Shangqi one last smile before you start your way towards the stairs.

You’re halfway up when Shangqi tugs your hand, “Wait I forgot.” He pulls out a small notebook and pen, frantically scribbling something down. He rips off the paper and hands it to you, “My art gallery show. It’s in two days and I’d love for you to come. If you’re not too busy that is.”

You take the paper, smiling at the scribbled address. You plant a quick kiss close to his mouth and smile, “I’ll be there. See you soon Picasso.”

Shangqi’s feet are planted firmly on the staircase, unwilling to move as passerbys enter and leave the station. The soft touch of your lips and its warmth linger on his skin the remainder of the night. There is an unwavering spell you’ve already cast on him and you don’t even know.

You are his muse. And Shangqi will spend a lifetime painting you in color.

○•*•○※○•*•○※○•*•○※○

all errors and mistakes are mine!

main masterlist // Xu Shangqi/Shang-Chi masterlist

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

➶ am i doing this correctly?

THE FIRST TIME YOU HOLD HANDS

pairings: izuku midoriya, denki kaminari, eijiro kirishima, hitoshi shinsou x gn!reader

warnings: none, besides my favoritism for shinsou BAHHAHA + a minor injury because a certain someone in this was being wayyy too in love and ACTIVATED HIS QUIRK

IZUKU MIDORIYA !! - wikihow.com how to hold someone’s hand

yes, he took notes on how to hold someone’s hand. yes, he studied which fingers go in-between which and how firmly he had to hold it. but once it was actually time, as usual, all the information he learned blanked and he was left trying to figure out what a finger was.

right, uh... the index finger goes-- what even is an index finger?? oh shoot oh shoot oh shoot “and- auasyfsh!”

...indeed. yes. he did. he just activated his quirk. and busted his own finger trying to get his hands to cooperate out of pure panic while trying to hold yours.

“izuku- are you- are you okay?”

his hands scrambled into his pockets “y..-yep! i’m good! just fine, haha..”

what was he supposed to say?? “oh yeah, no, i just busted my own hand because i was having an existential life crisis on how to hold hands. haha! i may be stupid.” (fin.)

POOR BABY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?? he starts freaking out until you brush beside him to let him know that he's doing his best and you love him for it. and of course, his entire face turns red and he gives a nervous smile.

but after trying to hold in the whimpers of pain that his hand is literally pulsing, you give a concerned smile and ask him, “uh, deku? do you maybe want to go back home and treat your hand?”

he gave a nervous nod as you two headed back.

and even though you couldn’t go to the movies, the two of you spent the rest of the night curled up in front of the tv with buckets of ice cream.

DENKI KAMINARI !! - shocked in ways more than one.

his quirk activates. good lord. when your hands intertwine with his, denki’s entire face just turns RED and he thinks, “here we go. not gonna mess this up. not gonna mess this up.” and slips his hands into yours, but as you’re talking, all he can think about is his lips pressing against yours as he pulls you to his chest and kiss your stupidly beautiful face.

why did you have to be so- so- perfect?

“kaminari, how about we stop at the store over there?”

your voice snaps him out of his thoughts as a sudden jolt crawls up your spine.

did he just-  ????

by the look on kaminari’s face, you don’t even have to ask. luckily, it’s not bad enough that it hurt you, it was just a slight shock. and his face. is authentic, genuine, pure embarrassment. and yes, he will try to play it off. yes, he is currently trying to play it cool but honestly, it isn’t working. it’s kind of hard to shrug it off when his hand is literally sparking. “i’m sorry!! uhm, uh, are you okay? i hope you’re doing. are you hurt? i hope you’re not h-” he’s panicking.

you laugh and his heart does a mini relay-race, “i’m not hurt, kaminari.”

he releases a sigh of relief and nods, “good.” after that, it’s plain silence.

denki scratches the back of his neck after a few more walks, and it’s clear that you’re trying your best not to laugh at his failed attempt. swallowing his pride, he whispers nervously, "could we.. try the hand holding thing again?" you laugh. "I thought you'd never ask."

EIJIRO KIRISHIMA !! - 10/10, would try again.

he is an absolute MASTER at the art of hand-holding. and yes, to him, it is so important that he calls it an art. he is AMAZING at it. he should take a MAJOR at it, because holy cow, the way his hand perfectly intertwines with yours just,,, yes.

it’s the way his eyes look at you with all of the love in the world, it’s the way he communicates with them and knows exactly what you’re thinking at a single glance. it’s the fact that he chose the best time of the day and waited another week to see your face because he heard the sunset was most beautiful at exactly this time. it’s how he casually keeps on walking with his hands resting perfectly in yours.

“you look lovely today, baby!” 

your cheeks heat up at the sudden compliment, “where did that come from, eijiro?”

he shrugs casually as his thumb brushes over yours. “everywhere! i love the way you walk. i don’t know, it’s just-” he clears his throat, trying to cover his embarrassment. “it’s kind of... a mix of everything?”

you laugh softly. “i’m glad. you don’t look so bad yourself, mr. red riot.”

he smiles proudly and raises his eyebrows in delight, “thank you, baby. now, shall we?” he motions towards an old swingset at the park as another laugh bubbles out of your chest.

“i’d love to, eijiro.”

HITOSHI SHINSOU !! - your hands,,, look like,, hands,,,-

hitoshi shinsou is no love expert. in fact, he’s nowhere close to knowing a single thing about love. all he knows is that when people are in love, they look at each other’s eyes and do romance-y things and kiss and whatnot. but besides that, he doesn’t know much about it. which doesn’t explain to him ANYTHING of why his stomach is rolling over the very idea of holding your hand.

he wants to say something nice about your hands as you two walk across the park, the smell of different pastries filling your nose as you walk along the crisp nght air. okay, say this: can i hold your hand? they look quite lonely.

shinsou practically feels like a genius at the idea and he nearly chuckles to himself in pure delight. he opens his mouth to say something, except a fly buzzes next to his ear and he yelps, “hands!”

your eyes immediately dart to him, “uh,” you laugh. “hitoshi, are you good?”

embarrassment fills his chest as he nods. there’s no way i can ruin it more than i already have,, right? “your hands,” he starts, trying to lower his voice to cover up his sudden outburst from before. 

your cheeks heat up, subconciously pretending to not know a compliment was coming ahead.

“your hands,,, look like-” come on. “hands.”

shinsou almost triumphantly laughs before he realizes what he just said. he pinches his nose, pausing and sighs, long and dragged out.

you laugh slightly at that, but you outstretch your hands anyway. “yes, my beautiful lavender boy. they do look like hands, and they’re quite heavy. care to hold them?”

it was shinsou’s turn to blush. “absolutely.”

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hey hey heyyy!! feel free to pop into my inbox if you want a part two! this is also your daily reminder to go drink some water and eat something the best you can. no matter what you’ve done today, i am so proud of you for trying your best. thank you for being here!!

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