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marauderundercover · 3 years ago

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Taking Chances Ch. 16: Summertime Nightmares (Alt prompt: Consolation/advice)

AO3

The following week was the last of the school year. And it was...weird to say the least. Some of her classmates were upset that she hadn’t been the one to tell them. Many of them (most) assumed that she’d known and just hadn’t told them. She didn’t want to argue with them and she knew her dad hadn’t announced her existence in Gotham yet, so she just pointed out the fact that the Wayne family was very private.

That mostly worked. Lila kept poking though, insisting that Marinette would have told them if she trusted them. Nino disagreed, which shocked Marinette. He usually believed Lila, or at least he hadn’t ever openly gone against her before. But not this time. This time, he insisted that Marinette trusted them and it was probably her dad who asked her not to say anything. While wrong, Marinette didn’t disagree. She’d let her dad take the fall for this one. Alya though...she wasn’t taking it well. She thought Marinette should have told her ages ago. If she had known before Lila came, maybe she would have told Alya. But Alya had been more lax on what she posts on the Ladyblog since Lila’s arrival. She’d done less research, and was posting things not related to Ladybug and Chat Noir. While that wouldn’t usually bother her, Marinette did not want her newly discovered family to be the next big story on Alya’s blog.

So she basically just kept her head down, kept quiet at the class hangouts. And now school was finally out for the summer. It would be a little over two months with no Lila. Breathing out a sigh of relief, Marinette walks into the bakery and smiles widely at her Maman and Papa.

“Hello honey, how are you?” Her Maman asks, sliding a croissant into her hands.

“I’m fine, Maman.” She says, mentally preparing herself to ask what she’d been avoiding. Her dad had offered to let her stay in Gotham for the summer. It was both a chance to bond, and a chance for him to train her a little so that she could fight better, help her make a case against Hawkmoth, maybe even find his identity. He also wanted to give her a break. He thought that taking a step away from Paris, from always policing her emotions, was in her best interest. She agreed, but she still hadn’t talked to her Maman. Or her Papa.

“Bruce called.” Her Papa says. Marinette freezes. He wasn’t supposed to call yet! “Asked if we’d made a decision about letting you go to Gotham for the summer.” Rats.

“I was gonna talk to you guys today! I didn’t wanna upset you. I love you guys so much, but I also really wanna spend time with the other half of my family because I just met them and we haven’t really had a chance to bond or get to know each other and-”

“Honey, we understand.” Her Maman says, cutting off her ramble with a smile. Marinette blinks.

“Really?” She asks in a small voice. She didn’t want to hurt them. Her Maman smiles and relief floods her body.

“Of course honey. It would also give you a chance to not deal with constant akuma attacks.” She says. Marinette squeals in excitement, running over and wrapping her parents in a hug.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She yells. Watch out Gotham, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Wayne is coming back!

---

“Why hasn’t Marinette answered yet? She’s always down for a class picnic.” Alya says with a pout. Lila suppresses an eye roll, opting instead for a worried frown.

“Do you think she’s mad at you?” She prompts, knowing exactly why the little brat wasn’t answering. She was supposed to be on a plane right about now. Lila had borrowed Alya’s phone the day before (to make sure Marinette hadn’t tried to say anything about her again) when she saw the text. Marinette would be spending the entire summer in Gotham.

Lila, in a moment of what was surely pure excellence, deleted the text. It was perfect! Alya wouldn’t know Marinette had left and Marinette would be waiting for a text from her stupid BFF. But Lila had thought of that too. She’d changed the phone number on Marinette’s contact in Alya’s phone. It was now set to go to a fake number in a messaging app that Lila spent €1 on each month. It was worth it though, it’d definitely come in handy before. And now all she had to do was wait. Sure Marinette could always text Alya first, but Lila had heard too many times that Alya usually reached out first. Probably because of how much of a scatterbrain Marinette is.

“Why would she be mad at me?” Alya asks with a nervous smile. Hook, line and sinker. Lila frowns and places a hand on Alya’s arm in a faux attempt at reassurance.

“I didn’t wanna say anything, I really shouldn’t.” She says, shaking her head.

“Please. I’ll owe you one!” Alya insists, just as Lila had hoped. This would be a key part of her plan later on. Once Marinette has been silent for a few weeks.

“Well...okay. I heard her talking to Adrien the other day.” Lil starts, using the only other person who could go against her (but won’t!) “She said- she said she couldn’t trust you!” Alya flinches back as if she was hit.

“She said that?” She asks in a small voice. Lila nods sadly, celebrating on the inside. She’d be able to use this summer, while Marinette is away, to finally take everything away from that no good brat. It would be glorious.

---

Marinette was moments away from committing a murder. She was only going to do it because she knew for a fact that she’d get away with it. With a singular pout, she’d have the world’s greatest detective on her side. She was certain of it.

“Miss Marinette please put down the knife. I assure you prison is not lovely this time of year.” Alfred says with a sigh as he walks into the kitchen.

“Then tell Dick to get out of the kitchen!” She complains, pointing at her oldest brother who was currently covered in frosting and flour. She was trying to make cupcakes for after dinner, since she knew how much Dick likes sweets. She was trying to do something nice. And when Dick came into the kitchen, claiming he just wanted to spend time with his baby sister, Marinette let him stay. Because she loves her brother, she does.

But somehow in the two minutes that he was in the kitchen, he managed to dump the entire canister of flour. Not good, but she’d already baked the cupcakes so it wasn’t the end of the world. But then somehow, he’d managed to dump the entire mixing bowl of frosting. The entire thing. She had no clue how he had managed to do that, considering the fact it was frosting. It didn’t exactly run smoothly out of a bowl. It’s supposed to be able to hold its shape. Honestly, it was a mystery.

“Master Dick, you know that you are not allowed in the kitchen.” Alfred says with a frown. Dick pouts.

“I just wanted to spend some time with Mari.” He mumbles. Marinette almost regrets wanting to kill him. Until she watches as he wipes some of the frosting off of his head and eats it. Yeah, she doesn’t regret it anymore...but she does still love him.

“Okay, we’ll definitely have to spend more time together later. But for right now please go take a shower or something. I need to make more frosting and I do not trust you to be in the room when I do.” Marinette says exasperatedly. Dick sighs but leaves. Marinette puffs out her cheeks, giving Alfred a look.

“Yes?” He asks, his lips quirked up slightly.

“I honestly don’t know how you deal with them sometimes.” She grumbles before grabbing a new bowl. The cupcakes aren’t going to decorate themselves.

---

Jason huffs, annoyed that he’d been talked into staying at the manor with Marinette. He wasn’t mad at Marinette, he would do just about anything for the kid. Didn’t mean he wanted to stay at the manor just to make sure she didn’t sneak onto patrol. She’d assured them that she was too tired to try anything, but Bruce hadn’t believed her. Thus, Jason stuck at the manor.

But the kid had made a shit ton of cupcakes and Jason had a copy of his favorite book, so the night wouldn’t be too bad. After a few hours lounging in one of the rooms near Marinette’s, Jason starts to nod off. He’s about to welcome the rest, knowing everyone would be back from patrol soon, when he’s yanked from sleep by an ear piercing scream. Shit.

---

Marinette blinks as she looks around. Oh god. No, no please don’t let this be real. She chokes out a sob as she looks around her. Paris was once again completely underwater. The Eiffel tower was split in half. Hands shaking, she glances up and sees the moon. Or, what’s left of it. She moans in distress, letting her tears fall freely. She tries to breathe, but it won’t come. She’s panicking now, trying to ignore the burn in her chest as she sees the disaster around her. The terror around her. The destruction. She clutches her throat, trying to force her body to breathe. Force herself to suck in air, to be okay.

“Oh, Marinette, I see you’ve decided to join us again.” A familiar voice says. She tenses, slowly turning and looking behind her. Standing in front of her, just as she remembered him, was Chat Blanc. She should’ve known. She should’ve known that just because it was okay for a couple days didn’t mean it would stay okay. She should’ve tried harder to find Bunnix, should’ve tried to find a way to stop Adrien from finding out. Movement by Chat Blanc’s feet catches her attention and she glances down, regretting it immediately.

“What have you done?” She asks, rushing forward and falling to her knees, desperately trying to stop her little brother from bleeding out. “What have you done?” She yells, glaring at Chat Blanc through her tears. Her hands shake as she puts pressure on the wound, using Damian’s cape in an attempt to stop the blood.

“Marinette-” He tries to say, and she just shakes her head, hating that there’s blood coming out of his mouth. She knows what that means. She knows that this is bad. And there are no hospitals anymore. Everything is underwater. Everything except the three of them.

“Hey no, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you little brother.” She chokes out, trying to smile at him.

“Father,” He manages to say, his voice barely audible. “Help him.”

“No, no, please. Please don’t leave me! Please, no, no!” She screams, trying to wake him back up, trying to force him to get back up. He couldn’t die like this. He couldn’t die at all. She just found him. And now she’s lost him.

“Now we can be together forever Marinette.” Chat Blanc says, finally speaking up. She glares at him and his stupid smirk. The smirk that had haunted her since the first time she saw the white suit.

“I don’t want anything to do with you! You killed my brother!” She screams. Glancing down at her shaking hands, she can’t help but notice they’re covered in blood. She shudders, trying hard not to throw up.

“Brothers, actually.” He quips. She snaps her gaze back to him.

“What?” She hisses, standing so that she can hopefully run and get to one of her brothers before it’s too late. She can’t lose all of them. She can’t. He casually steps to the side, revealing her other brothers. But none of them are moving. Cass is also lying with them, but she’s not moving either. Gone. All of her siblings. And it was all her fault. She let Adrien know her identity. She didn’t try to fix that mistake and this is what happened. She lost every- her dad. Damian said- She turns and runs away from Chat Blanc, scanning the horizon and trying to stay as together as possible. She had to try. She could still save her dad. She could still help him. As she looks around, she manages to spot his cowl. Rushing towards it, she lets out a sigh of relief.

“Marinette?” He says, looking at her with a frown. She scans him for injuries, relieved that he just had a few small wounds. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed.

“I’m so sorry dad.” She whimpers, throwing her arms around him. He holds her for a moment before pulling away.

“Marinette, we have to go. We can’t stay here. It’s only a matter of time before-” He stops talking and his face morphs into the most horrified, anguish filled face that Marinette had ever seen. Right before he starts to crumble into ash.

“No!” She screams, horror and grief washing over her in waves. She was all alone and it was all her fault. And now she was going to die too.

---

“Come on Pixie, wake up kid. Come on, it’s okay, I’m here. Jay’s here.” A familiar voice soothes. Marinette stops thrashing, coughing slightly as she realizes the loud noise had been coming from her. She’d been screaming. Jay’s here? But then- She immediately opens her eyes, sobbing in relief when she sees Jason looking at her. No blood. Okay. She lunges forward and wraps her arms around him, sobbing into his chest.

“I’m sorry.” She cries. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh kid, you don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay. You’re okay.” He whispers, holding her close. They sit like that for a few minutes, until a knock on the door frame makes her reluctantly pull back. She glances over and a new wave of tears immediately appears. She launches herself off the bed and runs into her dad’s arms, sobbing once more.

“Jason, what happened?” He asks quietly, she knows that Jason doesn’t know, but she doesn’t answer for him. She can’t. All she can do is cry in her dad’s arms, relieved that she could cry. That her nightmare didn’t end with her almost being akumatized like it had before.

“No clue. Heard her scream so I ran in here, but she was asleep. Once she woke up she started crying and apologizing.” Jason says softly, probably for her benefit. She tries hard to remind herself that the nightmare didn’t mean anything. Her family wouldn’t be hurt because of her.

“Is everyone okay? Damian and Tim and Dick?” She asks, still buried in her dad’s arms. She’d ask about Cass, but she was still in Hong Kong. Marinette made a mental note to text her later.

“Everyone’s fine. Did you- do you want to talk about it?” He asks, and she almost agrees. Maybe it would be better to finally tell someone about Chat Blanc. To share that burden with someone else. But...maybe not her dad. Especially not since Adrien actively knows her identity and she wouldn’t be opposed to dating the boy in the future.

“I- er, um.” is all she manages to say before shaking her head. She won’t talk to her dad about this, and she doesn’t want to leave his arms right now. Not while she feels safe. She can almost hear him whispering to Jason, but she knows he’s trying not to let her hear, so she ignores them and instead wraps her arms around him tighter.

“Can I go get you a glass of water? Maybe a cookie for Tikki?” Her dad asks after a few moments of whispering with Jason. Marinette frowns. She didn’t want to be left alone. Not yet.

“I’ll stay with ya Pixie Pop.” Jason says, almost as if he had read her mind. She nods, giving her dad one final squeeze before walking back over to the bed and climbing up, letting Jason wrap her in a hug.

“I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.” Her dad says before walking away. The silence only lasts a beat.

“You wanna tell your big brother why you woke up screamin’?” He asks. Marinette squeezes her eyes shut, desperate to get rid of the images from her nightmare.

“Nightmare.” She says simply. Jason chuckles.

“Kinda figured that part out Pix.”

“I’ve had it before.” She starts, aware of how her voice shakes. “But this time it was a lot worse. This time, I wasn’t the one who died.”

“What could be worse than dyin?” Jason asks, though she can tell by his tone that he knows. He knows what’s worse than dying.

“Watching all of you die.” She says simply. His hug tightens and she lets out a shaky breath, desperately wiping at her tears. “That’s not even the worst part Jay.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna.” He says softly.

“I know.” She says. “A version of it has happened. In a different timeline. That’s the worse part. Luckily when I had to go save that timeline, I didn’t know you guys. So you weren’t caught in the middle of everything. But in my nightmare, since you know about me and- and you guys just wanted to help but no one can win against that. No one. It was so hard to beat him when it actually happened. But the dream. It was awful.” There’s silence as he just holds her, lets her know he’s there without saying it. She’s so thankful for her family. For her brothers.

“Here’s your water.” Her dad says. She finally sits up and looks at him, noting the way his face is creased in worry. She manages a small smile.

“Thanks dad.” She says, her smile growing slightly as his face begins to relax.

“Mari! You’re still up?” Dick says, walking into the room. She blinks at him in confusion, not expecting him to just walk in. She watches as he looks between everyone else, clearly putting it together that something was wrong. He frowns, before his face stretches back into a grin. “Come on, bring all your pillows and blankets and we’ll have a Disney movie marathon until we fall asleep.” He directs, running out of the room to presumably get his own materials for the movie marathon.

“You don’t have to.” Her dad reassures her, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. She shrugs.

“Might as well. I know I’ll definitely not be able to sleep anymore tonight.” She says, grabbing a couple pillows and her blanket, dragging it with her to the movie room. Leave it to her brothers to have a way to help her feel better after a nightmare. Marinette smiles to herself, once again relieved that she was in Gotham.

Masterlist

Tag list: @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @mizzy-pop @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @waiting247 @laurcad123 @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @nerd-nowandforever @tazanna-blythe @jaybird-and-co @jumpingjoy82

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ellana-ravenwood · 4 years ago

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The day he understood what Death means - Batfam x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : The youngest Wayne makes a shocking discovery...And will need his parents, siblings, and the one and only Alfred, to recover from it. /Drabble.

I don’t know. I was thinking about this. How when you’re a kid, realizing that one day you’ll die, but worst, that the people you love will die, is sort of traumatic...And wanted to write about it. So. Here we are, with little Thomas eh. I hope you will like it :) :

My masterlists blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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If you have no idea who Thomas is, he appears in those stories (long story short he’s the youngest kiddo, biological of Batmom and Bruce) : The Great Mall adventure, Master of Diaper Shaky steps and bad teaching, Polichinelle, “Go away, you’re confusing my baby”, Wild Child 2, “We want them back”, How do you make babies ?“ and Mom got lost again”

******

Realizing your loved ones are not immortal for the first time can be traumatic.

Especially if they’re amazing, if they’re your heroes, if you admire them beyond all measure, if they love you unconditionally just like you love them so damn much, and if you can’t even imagine your life without seeing them every day.

If you can’t even fathom the fact that maybe, one day, they won’t be there when you wake up and go look for them. And that they will never be there again.

And so it was particularly quite the shocking discovery for little Thomas Clark Wayne, 5 and a half years old, to find out about that certain thing called...”Death”.

It happened on a moody, rainy Summer day. The weather outside was awful, even for Gotham City. And it meant that Thomas was calmly playing inside, rather than getting up to some shenanigans in the garden.

His parents were home, it was one of those rare day they both had off.

Which always filled little Tommy with joy. It wasn’t often he could get them both with him !! In the end, the fact it was rainy outside was good. It meant they’d probably all snuggle up later in the day, and watch a film, a mug of hot cocoa in their hands.

You would probably throw a blanket over him, and keep him close, sandwiched between you and his dad. His father would fall asleep half-way through the film, which would annoy you and Damian.

Damian would join for sure. Sitting next to you. Yes. He would. Maybe Tim too, if he wasn’t too busy with college ? Oh he would surely make the time to come. And Cass ? Yes. Yes Cass would be there, sitting in her usual spot, on the floor right in front of you (or maybe Tommy). Because she knew you’d gently run your hand through her hair, and your youngest son slowly took the habit to do the same. Which was so soothing to Cass...Duke would certainly be there, he never said no to a good movie.

Maybe, because it was a rainy day, Dick and Jason would come too ? Unlikely, but Thomas could hope. He loved having his entire family in one spot.

They’d ask him to do his “puppy eyes” and convince Alfred to join them too, and not work.

Alfred had an armchair reserved just for him. Right next to the couch where Bruce would sit, leaving enough space for Ace to lay down (Damian’s dog, Titus, always preferred to be near his master, who would more often than not be sitting next to you, laying his head on your shoulder, even as he was not a child anymore...Yes, Titus sat next to Cass, at Damian’s feet, letting his head fall down in Cass’ laps).

Ace...Ace didn’t feel well yesterday, and this morning, the “dog doctor” came.

Thomas heard him say they needed to give him a...an “indection” or something ? (An injection, really) So he’d probably get better. Shots were supposed to get you better or to avoid you getting sick, that’s what you told him.

His dad looked upset, but it didn’t alarm Thomas much. Because his dad was always upset when him or his siblings would get a shot, he hated going, so it was probably the same thing.

Come to think of it, Thomas hadn’t seen Ace since the “vekerinarianan” (or whatever it was pronounced) came earlier in the day.

He suddenly wanted some “doggle” (dog cuddles), and so he put down the toys he was playing with, and went to look for him.

Maybe, he could also round up the rest of his family so they’d start movie time earlier ?

Hyped to have some family time, as he considered his dogs family for sure, he went on the hunt to find Ace, and gather everyone else.

If only. If only he had known...

************

“Aaaace !! Aaace ? Ace boy, where are you ?”

This was odd. Usually, Ace would come running if he heard the little one’s voice. That dog loved children, and he made it his mission to protect all of them (bonus point if he had some snuggle, and a few treats, while doing it).

Bruce told him long ago to protect his kids...So Ace was always there.

Maybe he wanted to play hide and seek ? Thomas would play that game with Titus and Damian, Ace never seemed very interested, but maybe he changed his mind ?

“Ace ? Aaaacceeee ?”

The boy roamed the manor, but every room Ace would usually hang in were empty.

Finally, he decided he’d ask his parents, who would usually hang out in...oh, they weren’t in their usual spot either. In their bedroom, maybe ?

Thomas ran as fast as his little legs could carry him, sure that he would find Ace, and his parents, asleep in the master’s bedroom. When they had their day off, his mama and daddy would often take long naps together.

Thomas immediately knew something was wrong when the door to the room was wide open. Slowly, he approached the place and...surely his parents were there.

But something was off.

His dad was laying in the bed, back to the door, his head laid in your lap. One of your hand was caressing his head soothingly, while the other was drawing calming circles on his back.

Definitely something was not normal. You’d do that to your kids when they were sad, or sick...Was daddy sick ?! This gave Thomas a little fright.

You whisper something into Bruce’s ears, and he doesn’t answer, just shaking his head to say “yes”. And so you stand up, after giving him a kiss on the cheek, and...You spot your youngest son.

You smiled at him reassuringly, and go to him.

“Hey little buddy. You should give a big hug to Daddy, he’s very sad today.”

You say, walking past him and ruffling his hair.

From the direction you were taking, you were going to the kitchen, and Thomas just instantly assumed you were going to brew some tea for his dad. When Bruce was sad, you’d always brew some tea for him, from his mother’s garden (which was kept up nice and clean by you and Alfred, now).

Worried about his dad, Thomas slowly walked to him and climbed on the big bed. Bruce turned around to see what this new weight was, as he knew you had just left and...He smiled.

Of this wide pure genuine smile he gave his family only.

But there was a hint of sadness behind his eyes, and Thomas didn’t like that one bit. So the little boy crawled to his dad, and nestled next to him, wrapping his little arms around his dad’s neck and holding tightly.

Bruce engulfed his son in his own arms, holding onto the little one, burrying his face in his hair. There was always something comforting, in the smell his kiddo had. It was a mix of your smell, which was always soothing to him, but also something more...Something soft and sweet.

Just like his son.

Little Thomas was the epitome of a sweet child. It was a miracle, a man like him made a child this cute and happy. Ah, but he wasn’t raising him alone of course. There was you, and his siblings, and Alfred...

After a pause of the little boy holding his dad, he whispered slowly :

“Daddy, why are you sad Daddy ? Please don’t be sad, it makes me sad too.”

Thomas unwrapped his arms from around his dad’s neck, and squished his little hands on Bruce’s cheeks. Which made Bruce sigh fondly, chuckling a little as he said, honestly (he shouldn’t hide this sort of things) :

“Because Ace is gone.”

There’s another silence, during which Thomas tries to understand why is the fact Ace went somewhere so sad. He cannot figure it out, so he asks :

“But, he’ll come back daddy. Like always. Yes ? Ace is a good boy.”

“Was.”

Bruce is clumsy in his grief. He always been. He’s not sure how to broach the subject to his son, how to explain to him their dog was just too old and sick to make it...He doesn’t know how to explain death to him.

“Was ?”

“Ace is gone for good.”

“What do you mean Daddy ? Where did he go ? Why couldn’t we see him again ? Did he move out, like Dick ?”

Oh. Oh the sweet innocence of a child that is maybe a little too sheltered by his family (he’s the youngest, the one they’re trying to keep away from the horror they see every day as much as they can...Although he’s still trained, all of them hope he will never become a Robin, or worst, a Batman).

“Did he move out, like Dick ?”

Sweet, sweet Thomas. Not able to even fathom that Ace is never coming back...and why would he ? How could he know what his father meant ?

“No, no he didn't move out. He left us, to a place we can’t follow him to.”

Another short pause. And you could see the gears in little Thomas’ head turning. After a little bit, he asks :

“...The toilets ?”

This makes his father chuckle, even in this sad times. But he continues :

“No. Not the toilets. He...He went really far away, where we can’t ever see him again.”

This idea is so foreign to your son, that he raises himself on one of his elbow and exclaims :

“Why would he do that ? Does he not love us anymore ?”

Obviously, the thought is distressing to the little bird. So Bruce says :

“No no no, of course he still loves us...loved, us. But he had to go.”

“But why ?”

“Because he was getting very old, and sick.”

“But we don't mind daddy, right ? We don’t mind ? He doesn't have to go away for that, I don’t care if he doesn’t play like he used to, I want him to stay ! Tell him daddy, call him on the phone to tell him to come back.”

Bruce is lost. How ? How can he explains what death means ? He thought about this moment coming many times, but never told him anything as he thought that he had time to know what it meant. He had time...

How do you tell a child that one of his favorite “person” in the world is dead ?

“Unfortunately buddy, we have some sad news.”

His savior. You, as usual. With two cups of tea, and a cup of hot cocoa on a tray. As you went downstairs to get some “pick me up” for Bruce, you knew your son was gonna need it too.

“What news mama ?”

“Ace. He died today.”

You actually thought about it as you were preparing everything for them. How to talk about this ? You decided to go with “honesty”. Not brutal honesty though. You weren’t about to traumatize your son.

But you thought it was important he knew what happened to Ace. As a child, you hated how your brothers tried to make you think your ferret ran away to Las Vegas or something of the like.

You understood this sentiment, of course. But you also remembered how betrayed you felt when you finally understood “death” and realized your beloved Mister Will Ferret was NOT in Sin City having fun, but just died...

The truth was important.

Especially about such subjects.

Children weren’t dumb. And they had every right to know certain truth.

Did you wish your son could stay innocent for longer ? Of course. But he still had a right to know what happened to his dog. To be treated like a person and be explained things.

People, too often, treats children as some kind of idiots who wouldn’t comprehend complex things anyway, and who have to be protected at all cost from anything...

Kids were clever. You had a bunch of them to prove it so. But above that, although you agreed kids had to be protected...You weren't one of those person who thought you should lie to your children in order to do so.

Because one day, he’ll know what death is. He’ll know what happened to Ace. And what if the fact you lied that day, settles a slight distrust in him towards anything you’ll ever tell him ? Just like it did with you and your brothers ?

No. You thought at first it was a good idea to delay such a conversation. But why ? Because it would make you more comfortable ? That didn’t sound very fair in regard of your boy.

Everyone always talked about “the birds and the bees” talk, but never about something that was even more inescapable than that...

Death.

You give him a few seconds to take in your words. “Ace died today.” You wait for his reaction. He seems to think about it, having vaguely heard of “death” before...finally he asks :

“What does it mean ?”

He’s sitting up in the bed now. Bruce did the same, encircling his arms around his boy protectively (old habits die hard). But he’s determined to explain things to him too. You and Bruce were always rather in sync, about how you should raise your children.

“It means he will no longer be with us. He passed away to something else.”

“To what ?”

“No one really knows.”

“Will we see him again ?”

“No.”

“Why ?”

“Because he’s dead.”

“And being dead means you can’t see anyone anymore ?”

“Being dead means you are not living on this Earth anymore, so yes, you cannot see them anymore.”

“It means we can’t see him ? And what do you mean not on Earth ? Is he in Space ? Can we see him if we go to the watchtower ?”

“I mean in our life, we will not see Ace again. He won’t be with us ever again. He’s not in space, he’s just gone.”

“Because he’s dead ?”

“Because he’s dead.”

“So, being dead means we don’t get to see someone ever again ?”

“Yes.”

“Ever ever ?”

You decide to leave any conversations about a possible after-life aside, as it’s clear this, he’s not quite old enough to comprehend. So you keep on talking about the truth, with the support of Bruce.

“Yes. Ever ever.”

It takes Thomas a few minutes to take in all those new informations. Bruce is sitting on the bed, legs crossed, behind the boy. And your son is clearly lost in deep thoughts...Up until finally, finally tears are starting to well up in his eyes.

“But I didn’t even say goodbye !”

“Unfortunately, we don’t always get to say goodbye...”

“But mama, how will he know I loved him so much if I didn’t even say goodbye before he left ? How could you let him go before I did ?”

“I’m sorry, if I could chose I would’ve-...He knew you loved him and-”

“Are you going to die too ?!”

The dreaded question. Dreadest of them all, really. But you can’t lie to him. Not now that you started to explain things.

“Yes. Everyone dies one day.”

“But but but...but I don’t want you to die ! And Daddy ?”

Bruce nods, and...and that’s when it finally happens.

The awful moments your sweet innocent boy realizes what death sort-of means. That one day, none of his parents will be in his life anymore. Than one day, he’ll lose his siblings, and Alfred.

Just like he lost Ace. Because he was “old and sick”. But...Thomas knew a lot of sick people ! And a lot of old people ! Were they going to die too, without him being able to say goodbye ?!

And so the tears started to fall. And oh, oh did they fall.

Bruce held his son against his heart, drawing soothing circles on his back, just like you usually do. And you came to sit next to them, encircling them in your arms as well.

Thomas was trying to talk, but nothing came out very clearly as he cried, cried, cried and cried some more.

When he finally calmed down, he was slowly falling asleep, crying drained him of all his energy. That night, there was no “movie time”, but comforting snuggles with his parents...

Thomas had finally discover what “Death” meant.

************

“Oh my God Thomas !”

Bruce’s heart drops.

The entire scene goes in slow motion, and the fearless Batman can see his entire life flash in front of his eyes, as his tiny son is running towards him, while a few thugs were about to shoot automatic weapons at him...

“There’s a kid ! There’s a kid !”

“Who cares, we have the bat right at our mercy, just shoot !”

“I can’t shoot a kid...”

“Should we shoot ?”

The few seconds of surprise after Thomas bursted in allow Damian to swoop down, and to get rid of everyone. Slowly, a serious face on, your son walks to his dad and, solemnly, he says :

“This was too close, father. And...Thomas...”

“I know Damian, I know.”

Your little boy was inconsolable, clinging to his dad.

They didn’t even have to ask him how he got there. It was obvious he somehow snuck into the Batmobile (which wasn’t that much of a surprise, although it was already quite a feat...Thomas was small, but also very stealthy, as he was taught to be).

He was only five, and it wasn’t really clear to him yet his dad was that “Batman” everyone talked about, that his siblings were also vigilantes...But he knew that when they went out at night, they were often in danger.

And that night. That night right after the one Thomas learned what Death was...He snuck in the car, so he would make sure “she” would not take her dad away ! Or her brothers and sister !

Only Damian and Bruce were in the car, on patrol together. The rest of the kids were scattered across the city, and you were taking care of the bat computer (nowadays you were the one doing so to give some relief to Alfred).

Thomas took the habit to fall asleep in the cave, in a bed there just for him...and he must’ve snuck into the car.

It was nobody’s fault. It was very unlike the boy, to do such a thing.

He got into the car. When Damian and his father got out of it to apprehend a few of Two-Face’s thug, he stayed behind, looking at what they did...but when he saw those men about to shoot his dad (a proper ambush), he jumped out, punching every buttons (which was quite dangerous itself) to find which one opened the door, and then he ran to his dad...

The surprised probably saved Bruce. But it also almost killed him with a heart attack.

What if those men didn’t hesitate long enough for Damian to take care of them ? What if they shot anyway, ignoring the surprising appearance of a small child ? What if they had recognize who that kid was, too ? (Unlikely, this was a time where Thomas was still quite sheltered from media, as you tried to give him a childhood as normal as you all possibly could).

What if they shot anyway...

Bruce doesn’t think he would’ve survived the death of his youngest son. He was sure, actually, that he would’ve killed those men.

That is, if Damian didn’t do it first.

But it didn’t happen. It didn’t happen, but it was so close. So close.

Later, when everything calmed down, Thomas would explain he jumped in the car to “keep death away”, to protect his daddy and brother. To make sure Death wouldn’t take them.

And that's when you all understood Ace’s death, and the discovery that everyone dies one day, one way or another, truly was “traumatic” for your baby.

From that point on, you made sure that Thomas would be in the cave...but this event. This event really unfolded a problem you knew you’d have to tackle truly one day.

You just had no idea yet how to help your son.

************

Damian had told Jason the debacle that was yesterday. About his parents explaining to their little brother what it meant to be dead. And about how it lead to Thomas sneaking into the Batmobile and running in front of danger to “protect” his dad.

Because of where he grew up, Damian always knew what death meant. And he never cared much (or convinced himself he never cared much). He understood from a very young age what all this shenanigans was...

Jason did too. He found his mother, dead, when he was three years old. He grew up surrounded by death, in the gutter of Gotham. He knew. He did.

But Thomas.

Thomas was a “normal” 5 years old boy, as normal you can be in such a family. He trained a little, and sort of knew about his dad being “Batman” (but it seemed he didn’t understand he was ACTUALLY the Batman people talked about in the city).

He spend most of his nights in a little area made just for him, with a bed and such, in the batcave (he hated sleeping upstairs alone, so he would sleep in the batcave and you’d pick him up to bring him in his bed once you’d go to bed, and/or once the rest of your family would get home).

So for a little one like Thomas, who was pure and sweet and nice...It was a shock, to know one day he’d lose the people he loved.

He was inconsolable, at Ace’s funerals (thrown at the back of the Manor).

He couldn’t get over the fact he didn’t get to say goodbye, and that he would never play with his dog anymore.

It made it worst, that Ace’s death made everyone else sad. That dog truly was a member of the family...

“I know you're feeling very sad. I'm sad, too. We all loved Ace so much, and he oved us, too.”

You told him a few times, tryin to put words on his emotions and helping him understand...God, to Damian, you truly were the most amazing mother. Always knew what to say, how to say it, when to say it.

But Thomas was still blue, and it was so unlike his usual bubbly personality.

And so, both Damian and Jason made it their mission to distract their little brother, and...it worked. For the most part. It really worked.

Amongst all his siblings, Damian and Jason were the ones that loved having a little brother the most. Not that the others didn’t, of course ! They just were a little less willing to play for hours on end with a little kid.

They were rather busy. Jason and Damian always found ways...They were an unlikely pairs at first glance. Most people would think Damian was the closest to Dick, and Jason too. But no. They were equally as close to all their siblings, in different ways.

But Damian and Jason, they had an extra connection. Jason was there, when Damian was a baby. He didn’t remember his own name, and was used by the Al’Ghuls after they resurrected him...But he was still one of the only person in Damian’s life that truly valued him.

Fate, right ? A funny thing. After all, how small did the world have to be for two of Bruce’s sons to meet in such a way ? A hidden son, and one he thought dead, at that ?!

In any case. They were closer than most would think. And they also were linked not only by the Al’Ghuls, but by how they were both ripped off of an actual childhood, and therefor wanted to make sure their little brother had one too (Cass was the same, but more subtle, and discreet).

And so...

They played, made art pieces, jigsaw puzzles, watched his favorite movies, cooked...Anything to take his mind off of “Death”.

That little boy would overthink too much, for such a young age.

But overall, Damian and Jason did a good job distracting him from the pain.

They did an amazing job.

You were so proud of how they took care of their baby brother (and it would give yourself more time to go cheer up the “Oldest Wayne”, your dear husband, who definitely had a hard time getting over his dog’s death...).

Only, there was one problem...And that problem was that neither Damian nor Jason, just like everyone else, were immortal.

And this, this, Thomas would realize very soon.

************

“More compresses, Master Tim !”

“On it Al !”

The loud noises woke Thomas up. You knew. You knew you should’ve gone up to bed earlier. Tuck him in, and wait for your family to come back.

Ah. But when they all arrived in the cave, ALL of them, including Dick who did not live at the manor anymore...You knew there was a problem.

And indeed. Jason had been badly hurt. Not something that couldn’t be fixed, but ah, once again, too damn close.

Everyone was on the tail of a high profile serial killer, the newcomer called “Dr Pyg”, and...Collateral damage. It happened, in this line of work.

It wasn’t easy. Especially when it was one of your baby. But you had to keep a leveled head, as you helped Alfred fix your boy.

You had taken medical trainings early in in your relationship with Bruce. For obvious reasons. And there was rarely a day it didn’t come in handy.

In any case, all the noises around woke Thomas up.

Before. Before he knew what death truly meant, he would’ve been worried. He would've cried. He would’ve been distressed. Of course.

And one of his siblings would’ve taken care of him, reassure him, soothe and console him, and little Thomas would be ok again.

Before he knew what death truly meant.

He was so small anyway, most of the time he’d forget things, or just not understand them...but he was five now. Close to the age of reason. And definitely aware of his surroundings enough now to pay attention, and remember things.

And he knew what death truly meant.

He clung to Jason for dear life, even as everyone reassured him he was actually ok. Jason himself was conscious, he had been badly hurt but nothing he hadn’t seen before.

He needed some rest for sure, but it was fine, really.

It wasn’t fine for Thomas. He yelled, threw the biggest tantrum he ever threw, yelled some more that they should stop. That he didn’t want them to die. That whatever they were doing...He begged them to stop.

Never before in your life, had any of you witness Thomas being in such a state. He was inconsolable. You couldn’t calm him down, no matter what...

And once more, it’s only because of exhaustion that he finally relaxed. But yet, still in his sleep, he clung to Jason’s sleeve, as if afraid his brother would be gone when he’d wake up.

It tore yours and Bruce’s heart apart, to see your baby like this. But to be honest...neither of you knew what to do...

************

“Where’s Damian mama ? Where is he ?”

Thomas was truly panicked.

The first day, he thought maybe his brother was busy with school and such. The second day, he started to worry. But now ? Three days in a row with Damian not at the dinner table ? Or in his room ? Or in the batcave ?!

It made Thomas anxious. What happened to his brother ? Was he...was he...DID DEATH TAKE HIM AWAY ?

“Where’s Dami mama ? Where is he ?!” Thomas kept asking, crying. And it took you moment to finally realize what your son must’ve thought. When you did, you picked him up and calmed him down, explaining Damian was simply over at Jon’s for a few days...

And from that day on, you’d make sure to tell him why anyone would be gone for any amount of time.

That night, Bruce and you talked about what you could do to help Thomas get over his consuming fear of losing one of you.

But nothing really came to your minds.

And it was awful, to feel like a failure like that.

Later on, your Damian would tell you you were NOT failing at parents because you were a little lost about this. After all, none of your other kids got into quite a crisis like this one. He said maybe considering a therapist could do ? But oh, oh Thomas was so little.

And if words were out that Thomas Wayne, barely five years old, was seeing a therapist ? The scandals would be unending, and would it really help your son ?

Damian joined in in the search for a way to soothe his baby brother. He never said “no” to cuddles from him, but lately...Lately, Thomas almost became overbearing, as he made sure he’d always sort of have his eyes on everyone.

And it wasn’t healthy, for such a little boy to worry so much.

Damian missed his carefree baby brother. He knew he had to eventually grow up, of course, and that he’d have some hardships but...he was just five and a half ! He wasn’t suppose to be so scared of death !

And so he thought, nights and days, of a way to soothe him. But just like you and Bruce, this matter was quite delicate...

************

It seemed like Cass was the only one able to truly console him, and make him relax. She would sing him songs, just like you did to her when she felt sad.

She would tell him tales of Death as a good thing, inspiring herself from many legends from around the world.

She would try to put perspective on everything, in a way you truly admired.

She never spoke too much, your Cass...But when she did, every words were carefully chosen and crafted into truly beautiful things.

And it would soothe your boy.

But only as long as he was with Cass. And he couldn’t always be with her.

You didn’t have her talent to tell those tales, and your singing was working only for a few moments to put him to sleep but...you couldn’t always have him sleep. You had to think of more viable options.

Nonetheless, when Thomas was really too anxious, Cass would be there.

Relieving everyone of their worry, as she could calm her baby brother in matter of seconds. In those moments, you wished time could stop. You truly did...

************

Thomas would cling to you and his dad the most. His siblings were often out and about, but you two ? Well you took some time off to be with your youngest son, to be there for him in this odd times...

And you weren’t sure it was such a good idea, in the end.

He would often just snuggle up to you or Bruce, listening to your heartbeats, which would calm him...You’d normally never say no to hugs from your children. But this was all starting to become so unhealthy for the little one.

What could you do ? What could you do ?!

************

Duke was panicking.

Thomas was doing fine today, and Duke felt like he royally fucked up.

Thomas was worried about Duke, telling him to be careful and that his heart would break if Duke ever died...Which melted Duke’s heart.

It made him feel so loved and accepted. And he wanted to help little Thomas so much...

That’s when he made a rookie mistake.

After all, he was still quite new at this “big brother” thing.

“There are things worst than death.”

Is what he told him. What was he thinking ? Reflecting on things, Duke realized he didn't think it through. To him, it was a soothing way to say death wasn’t that bad. But...Ah, ah it made Thomas cry.

“What ? What is worst than not seeing you guys ever again ?!”

At that moment, Duke hadn’t realized quite yet how much he fucked up. So he said : “Well, my parents can't remember me, can’t remember who they are...They’re not dead, but they’re not here anymore. They’re physically here, but they don’t know me, they don’t know how to hug me, they can’t be my parents anymore...Yet they’re still alive.”

The horrified look on Thomas’ face is what gave him a hint that this really wasn’t a good thing to say...

“No no no wait Thomas, don’t cry please, I was trying to tell you...Wait Thomas, please, no. Oooh buddy, buddy I’m so sorry.”

It almost made Duke cry too, to witness the one he considered his little brother in such distress. He wasn’t trained for this ! He wasn’t trained for this !!!

This was the first time Duke truly felt like an older brother, truly felt like he understood this important role. He had to think before saying something. He had to protect his baby brother. He had to find ways to soothe him...

“Ok here we are, here we are everything is a-okay, you’re ok, things will be ok...”

Duke picked Thomas up, and started to rock him back and forth slowly, just like his own mom did to him...He mixed the way his mom used to put him to sleep, with your soothing singing. With words he borrowed from you.

“I’m here, I’m here. Don’t worry I’m here, I won’t go anywhere. Things will be ok baby boy, things will be ok. You’re gonna be ok. I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t mean any of it...”

Duke had been living with you for a while now. He came to see all of you as his second family, even as his parents were still alive, and a constant chain holding him back at times...a chain that broke right at this moment.

Thomas was his little brother. He truly was.

And Duke was determined to be there for him. Especially after he made him cry.

“It’s ok Tommy, cry all you want. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to cry.”

You always told him that. It was ok to cry. To be angry. To want to break everything. To want his mom...

But you were his mom too now. You were. And you had such a way with words. Such a soothing touch. Even as he was grown up now, you always knew what to say. You always did.

“You’re ok, right ? Yeaaaah you’re ok. See, things are fine, we chill, we chill.”

Duke was slowly swaying from left to right, Thomas in his arm, slowly lulling him to sleep, calming him down. His voice seemed to have the same effect than yours...Because he was calm. And because he meant it.

The love.

The love he had for this little boy.

It poured out of him, easily, naturally.

He loved that kid so much. And he wanted him to be ok. And it seemed like Thomas ? Thomas felt it. He felt the love. Just like Duke felt the love of all of you...

That little bean put himself in such a state at the mere thought of Duke dying, of one of his brother leaving...And Duke. Duke realized he felt the same.

Couldn’t imagine any of them dying.

And so he poured love in his every word, and swayed from side to side, calming Thomas, and making sure he knew...He knew that, he was right there.

Right there.

************

“You’re getting old, Alfred.”

You said jokingly, as you beat him at chess. And oh. Oh what a mistake you just did.

“Old ? I don’t want you to die Alfred, I don’t !”

Thomas was playing next to you. You hadn’t thought about his “trauma” for a little while as he seemed to feel a little better lately...But oh, he plunged right back into it there.

Because of you. You felt absolutely awful...

“I’ll fight Death for you Alfred ! I will ! I won’t let her take you !!”

It took a while, as it became usual now, to calm him down. He was ready to throw hands with Death. Fierce that no one would take his “grandpa”. But he was still very scared and sad...

“I’m a terrible mother...”

You told Bruce that night. And he held you against him, consoling you, saying it wasn’t your fault and that it was just friendly banter with Alfred as usual...

“You are the literal opposite of a terrible mother, my love.”

“But Broosh, I made him- I-”

You sniff, unable to control your sobs as you remember your poor little boy holding Alfred and yelling at Death she can’t take him. The poor butler himself didn’t even know how he could do anything to calm him down...

“We’ll find a solution my love, we’ll find a solution...”

This entire night, Bruce stayed up although he was exhausted, so he could soothe you and take care of you. Skipping patrol (knowing though the city was safe with his children out).

At some point during the night, Thomas came to your room.

It was often, lately, that after a nightmare he’d come running to you. His nightmares would often be about losing you...

You had finally fallen asleep, in your husband’s arms, and Bruce gestured to your boy to not make too much noice.

Sweet little Thomas acquiesced, and slowly came to the bed, taking the hand his father gave him.

Bruce was about to fall asleep too, knowing you had finally found sleep...But now, he wasn’t going to. Not until he made sure his son was asleep as well.

All he could do for now, was being there for you two. Try to soothe you as best her could. As best he could...

Sleep was restless and full of nightmares.

************

Dick would try to often visit his parents and siblings. As much as he could, which wasn’t always easy, with his work in Bludhäven. But nothing is more sacred than family...He realized that over the years.

During those moments, it would be rather normal for Thomas to go settle in his oldest brother’s laps. He would make the most of seeing him.

So today, as Dick was in the kitchen trying to make himself a cup of coffee, it was no surprise when little Tommy came to see him.

You had bought a new espresso machine, and Dick had no idea how it worked...Slowly, his littlest brother came in, dragged a chair next to him, and used it to climb on the counter.

He then started to make Dick’s cup of coffee, without much of a word being exchanged. Dick smiled widely, his little bro was so cute and clever. In no time, he had make a great cup of coffee for him.

But...Something seemed to bother him. Tommy was an exuberant child when around his family, but he had been quiet right there. He didn’t jump in his brother’s arms like he usually does, and he wasn’t telling him all about what he missed since last time he came in !

Was it still this all thing about being worried about death ?

“Are you ok little wing ?”

Ever since Jason, “Little Wing” or “Bird” became the common denomination for his younger siblings. A term of endearment that they all (secretly or not) loved.

Tommy seemed to think a little, while raising his arms, signifying he wanted Dick to pick him up.

Dick did, of course, and they went to sit at the kitchen counter, and as usual, Tommy settled down on Dick’s laps. He turned around and, after another short pause (Dick always knew when to stay silent, and wait for the other person to speak first) said :

“Dickie, are mom and dad not your mom and dad ?”

“Mm ?”

“Your real mom and dad, they died ? You can’t see them no more now ?”

There was a lump in Dick’s throat. Not because he thought about his parents no. He actually came to peace with their death long ago now. And though he missed them every day, it didn’t hurt as much as it used to.

He was lucky to find another loving family...From which that little worried kiddo in front of him was an important part of.

“Yes, I can’t see them anymore.”

“It hurts ?”

“It used to. Now less. I miss them, but I wasn’t alone.”

“Because you have our mom and dad ?”

“Yes.”

Dick ruffles his hair fondly.

“Do you wish you’d still have your real mom and dad ?”

“Mom and dad ARE my real parents too. I was lucky enough to find new ones. Not everyone is as lucky, like dad. He was alone for a long time”

“What about Alfred ?”

“It took dad a while to realize that Alfred was a second father to him”

“So...Will you be my second dad if dad goes ?”

Dick feels another lump in his throat. Bigger this time.

He couldn’t even imagine the day he’ll lose this “second dad”, this one he had now called “dad” for longer even than his own biological father...Dick was 8, when he came into yours and Bruce’s life.

He spend more years with you two than with his “real” parents. You never replaced them, no. You just..became his parents too.

He would never forget his biological parents. But he would never diminish the impact his adoptive one had. The love you and Bruce gave him.

Would he be good enough to be Thomas “second dad” ? After all, he currently had about the age Bruce had when he adopted him...

But Dick couldn’t imagine losing Bruce too. Losing another father. No. He couldn’t. He couldn’t.

Thomas was already moving on, asking more questions :

“Will I find another mom and dad too if mom and dad die ? Or will I be alone like dad ? Will I have Alfred forever ?”

“I-I don’t know buddy.”

“What if I lose all of you at the same time ? I will be all alone then.”

“You won’t.”

“But what if I do ?”

“I’ll always be there.”

“You can’t know that, can you ?”

“Maybe, but this will never happen. You will never be alone.”

“You really think so ?”

“I Do. And I promise little wing, I promise...You won’t lose all of us. You won’t.”

Dick held his brother even tighter against him, and missed the unconvinced expression on Thomas’ face.

************

Your youngest son was still utterly terrified of losing any of you. But his terrible fit would pass now, he would calm down more easily, and wouldn’t cry until exhaustion...But it didn’t mean he wasn't afraid anymore.

Unfortunately.

“Death” was still a constant on his mind. One of the biggest question. Without much answers.

His mother and father said no one knew what happened after “death”, but Thomas wasn’t convinced. So he went to the only one he knew would tell him the truth, and was most likely to know...Tim.

His older brother was currently in the garden, studying for his finals. But oh he’d take a break for his little brother, of course.

Especially lately, as said little brother was overly worried and needed constant reassurance.

“Hi Timmy.”

“Hey little one.”

“Bothering you ?”

“You are not bothering me, never.”

“Can I ask you a question then ?”

“Of course.”

“What happens when we die ?”

Oof.

OOOOF.

Not something Tim could say he expected to be asked. Even as he knew Thomas was sort of obsessed with this lately. And ah...Ah he started to get lost into physiological effects of death, into science, into things Thomas could definitely not understand...

And into things he didn’t care about.

Thomas had no interest in knowing what happens to the corporeal side of things. To our bodies. He wanted to know where “we” went. Where the being went. The conscience.

Of course he wouldn’t word it that way, but it was easy to understand that it was what he meant when he said : “where do we go when we die ?”.

After a long time of Tim getting lost in many complex explanations about decomposition (what the Hell Tim ?), he finally stopped as he saw that Thomas was most definitely lost.

“Where do we go after we die ?”

“Yes. What happens ? You must know, you know everything !”

The faith his littlest brother put in him made him feel warm inside but...unfortunately on this subject he had to disappoint him.

“I..I don’t know about this, actually.”

Thomas looked crestfallen. Was nothing sacred anymore ?? Death existed, and the one he thought would always have a solution to everything didn’t know something that important !!

“There’s many theories.”

“What’s a theories ?”

“One theory, multiple theories. A theory is...an idea of how things might work.”

“What are the theory ?”

“Theories, plural.”

“What are the theories ?”

“Well. Some people think that you go into some kind of afterlife. It depends the culture, and the religion, and...many other factors. But there’s usually a few places we can end up.”

“And we’ll see the people who died there ? We’ll see them again ?”

“Supposedly so.”

“Is it sure ?”

“No, it’s just a theory.”

“You said a theory is an idea of how things might work.”

“An idea that might not be proven.”

“What’s the point then ?”

“Theorizing.”

“I don’t understand...”

Of course he didn’t, he was a smart little boy...But still just five. Tim sat down to his level, and looked at him in the eyes :

“Well. You have to understand that um...No one knows what happens after death. So we have to make theories, things that might or might not be. You understand ?”

“No.”

“Well, since we don’t know, we make things up. But maybe those things are right. Maybe they aren’t.”

“So the answer is we don't know ?”

“Yes. But there are theories ?”

“Ok. So aside from the place we see others again, what are the theories ?”

“Well (...)”

Tim was a patient boy. For hours and hours, he tried to explain every single “theory” people might’ve had about what happens after Death. And Thomas listened carefully.

Finally, Tim was done, and his brother said :

“So...No one really knows, and there’s a lot of theory...ies. Theories.”

“Basically.”

Thomas looked so discouraged. Tim was very well aware that none of what he told him really helped his brother, or reassured him...But ah. Tim was known to not lie. Which was a good thing. And he couldn’t possibly have a free conscience if he had told his brother just one theory of the after life, the nicest one, just to reassure him.

Of course, he wanted to reassure him. To distract him. But he would do so another way. Lying to him was not it.

Still, it was so disheartening to see this sweet little boy so crestfallen.

“Um, Well...I guess some people know.”

Thomas looked up at his brother, hopeful, waiting for him to continue.

“Like Constantine. But um, he’s sort of crazy. And dad doesn't want him around the house for...reasons you’ll understand when you’ll grow up. And-”

Ah but Thomas wasn’t listening to Tim anymore, and his monologue as to why maybe John Constantine wasn’t such a reliable source.

“Constantine” huh ? Interesting. Ah. Sometimes, Tim forgot how smart his little brother truly was...for a five years old. And how he took after his father, when it came to memory and attention to details.

************

This constant worry went on for quite just a few days. A few very eventful days, that were so...exhausting. Thomas was constantly scared for your lives, and would cry if anyone got hurt too much.

He would follow you around, and be way too stressed for such a little bean.

Everyone came to hide their injuries from him, tried to distract him from what they were doing when out as the Bats...But it was becoming a real problem.

How ? How could they make a little five years old understand that he couldn’t forever be afraid of death ? It was impossible. None of you, not even you, had the right words. There were no right words anyway.

You could tell him whatever you wanted, it’d never make him stop thinking about Death taking one of you with her, taking one of you far away from him.

“A place he cannot follow you to.”

How ? How could you help ?!

But the change had to come from within him, you would soon realize.

About a week after Ace’s death, and a truly painful few days of everyone being lost and unable to help the baby of the family... he suddenly spoke up, at dinner time :

“Mama, mama, if one day you die, I will bring you back. I promise. Same for daddy, and Dick, and Jason, and Cass, and Tim, and Duke, and Damian, and Alfred. I don’t know if we can bring dogs back, but humans yes ? And worst case scenario, I’ll conjure your spirit so I can say goodbye, and then I’ll know we’ll see each others again !”

“Wh-What ?”

“Stunned” doesn’t quite cover how you felt at your son’s sudden tirade, at dinner that night. Everyone was here, a rare occasion. Your one dinner a months that was mandatory for all your kids ! To make sure you’d all have moments together.

And boom. Came this monologue out of nowhere, from your small little five and a half years old son.

Stunned. Not a strong word enough to describe you, or your other children.

But Bruce. Oh Bruce. Bruce was frowning. Narrowing his eyes in a way you knew perfectly well...It meant he was angry at someone.

“Who told you all this, son ?”

“Mister Constantine.”

A growl. A scary growl. From deep within your husband’s throat. You would NOT want to be John next time he’d see

“How did you talk to him ?”

“I used your phone.”

“I don’t have his number on my...Wait, the bat phone ?!”

“Yes. The one you call uncle Clark on !”

“What the-...how did you-ugh ?!”

There were so many questions. So many.

“I copied what you do, on the phone. And I asked it if it could call the Constantine.”

“The Constantine”, this better not be a stupid way he called himself in front of his son, Bruce thought. Ah, and curse the fact he kept having kids that were too damn smart for their own good !

Kids this days. Growing up with technology. Able to work a batphobe at age 5 and a half !!

“Hope I helped little man - John Constantine”, said the note that came to the manor a few days later. Which made Bruce fume with rage, but Thomas beam happily.

Bruce was already planning to go after John, and force him to say what he told his son. But...But...

To be honest. Whatever he said. You didn’t care. You knew, more than anyone else, that “Death” wasn’t as definitive as it sounded at times. And you knew for certain there was something after you died. What ? You couldn’t be sure. But something. Another place. Or maybe reincarnation ? Who knew.

Deep in your heart though, you knew that no matter what, if you ever were to die...You’d see your family again. You weren’t sure how or where. It was just a certainty in your heart. A gut feeling.

Yes. You didn’t care what John told your son. If it could help him accept that everyone will die one day. Didn’t mean he wasn’t afraid of losing you anymore. Oh no. But at least...At least he knew worrying about it lead nowhere. And to truly enjoy the moments of the present.

Whatever John said, it helped your son. That’s all that mattered. And as Thomas would grow up, you knew he’d understand things more and more.

He already knew he was luckier than many people. He had a loving family. They were all there with him for now (minus Ace, whom he missed every day). A lot of people couldn’t say the same thing.

Death was an odd thing. Especially in the World you lived in.

It wasn’t as definitive as some would say.

Your family knew that more than anyone else.

Death was an odd thing, that wasn’t always the ultimate end...

This, one day, Thomas would truly understand.

The end

__________________________________________________

And here we are :). Just a quick thing again, my bigger story (fake boyfriend trope with Bruce hehe) is coming soon. But in the mean time, felt compelled to write about this. I hope you enjoyed reading it, and liked it ? Not my best work :/, another quick drabble written very late at night eh. But nonetheless, fun to write ? Hope it’s not a disappointment, it’s just a thing to make ya wait for a more elaborate thing that I took a lot of care writing. Anyway it’s 4 am, time for bed :).

If you did, don’t hesitate to leave a little feedback or/and to reblog :). If you didn’t as well really, it’s always good to know what’s not good so I can improve (just stay civil please).

PS : Bonus point if you get where I’m trying to arrive at with those last few words about how definitive death is :p.

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years ago

Text

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 12*

Chapter 11

(i fucked this up by editing on my phone and now I have to post the next chapter link like this. )

Whoooo buddy! The angst is REAL, y'all.

I apologize for this, but also I really don't. And I made it normal length to make up for that short shitty one earlier.

Enjoy!!!! Mwahahahahha

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

---------

It seemed like forever for the ambulance to get there, Rafael just sat there trembling and crying while you started to convulse in his arms. Finally the door busted open and EMT’s threw you on a gurney and took you downstairs. Rafael sprinted behind them and jumped in the back of the ambulance as it sped away.

“Y/N….Carino please, please don’t die on me…” Rafael stroked your hair as you were hooked up to oxygen and anti drug meds. It was like literal hell having to watch this all over again, even worse that it was someone he actually...loved.

“Please, please don’t die…” He looked up to the sky.

----------------

Rafael paced the hospital waiting area furiously, they wouldn’t let him go back with you once the ambulance got you both there. When he saw Sonny running up the hallway towards him, he grabbed him by the neck and shoved him up against the wall.

“I TOLD YOU!!!!” He screamed violently, while several nurses ran over and pulled them apart.

“Rafael! Jesus Christ--” Sonny was breathing heavily while he tried to recover from Rafael’s ambush.

“I told you something was wrong, I told you I knew her better than you did!” He tried to wrestle away from the nurses.

“Okay I’m sorry, I’m sorry alright?!” Sonny yelled, tears starting to fill his eyes. “I should have listened to you--”

“You’re god damn right you should have!!!” Rafael continued to scream.“ She could die right now, do you realize that?”

“Of course I realize that!” Sonny screamed back while looking around them, trying not to make a scene.

“God dammit Carisi, she knew better than you. Why didn't you listen to her?!” Rafael was beginning to cry; he was so upset.

“Barba I--” Sonny started to apologize.

“Excuse me, is Miss Y/L/N’s family here?” An orderly came out from the back.

“I am!” Sonny forgot about Rafael and ran over to the man, Rafael did the same.

“I’m sorry sir but this is really just a family conversation--” He started to dismiss Rafael, but Sonny put his hand up.

“He’s fine,” He assured the doctor.

“Right, well--” He cleared his throat as he led them to a more quiet area. “The damage to Y/N’s body is pretty bad,”

“....God,” Sonny muttered, putting a hand over his forehead.

“The mouthwash has several chemicals that aren’t in traditional grain alcohols, mostly lethal. And her pancreas, liver and gallbladder were already severely damaged from the years of alcohol abuse,” He explained as he looked gravely between the two men.

“No…” Rafael put his hands over his face.

Flashbacks of a very similar conversation happening between a doctor and his mother filled his mind. The way his mother fell against the wall when she heard the doctor say there was a good chance his father was never waking up.

“How bad is it, doc?” Sonny’s voice quivered, and Rafael instinctively took his hand.

“Well, we had to completely remove the gallbladder, and parts of her pancreas so she’s most likely going to develop diabetes,” He further explained. “...And she most likely will need a liver transplant, depending on how the next 24 hours go,”

“Christ…” Sonny whipped his hand from Rafael’s touch and put both of his hands over his head while he paced.

“Can we see her?” Rafael asked.

“Yes, you know your daughter is very lucky to be alive,” The doctor informed them.

“...Excuse me?” Sonny asked while he and Rafael exchanged confused looks.

“...Are you two not her dads?” The doctor waved his pen between the two men.

“Oh my god,” Rafael muttered in horror, wanting to vomit right there.

“Uh, no sir-- no we’re not,” Sonny shook his head. “I’m her uncle and this is my partner,”

“Excuse me?!” Rafael practically screamed in disgust.

“...Do you want them to let you back there to see her or not, honey?” Sonny said through his teeth.

“Right,” Rafael nodded uncomfortably, taking Sonny’s hand once more. “We’re her...Uncles,” He tried not to grimace.

“Oh, right. So sorry sirs,” The doctor apologized once more as he led your “Uncles” to the room you were in. You were unconscious, but breathing on your own.

“She might be out a while from the meds, if you’d like to come back tomorrow,” The doctor informed them once more.

“Uh, I think we’ll wait at least for a little while, if you don’t mind doc,” Sonny replied while Rafael walked up to your sleeping body and just stroked your hair lovingly.

“Whatever you two want to do is fine with me,” He nodded. “I have other patients to see, if you’ll excuse me,”

Sonny nodded to him and he walked out of the room leaving the three of you alone. Sonny ran his hands through his hair while Rafael pulled a chair up next to your bed, still stroking your hair.

“...Barba I think you should leave,” Sonny said softly.

“...What?” He laughed. “Are you...are you fucking joking me, Carisi?”

“No look,” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, I’m sorry I didn’t hear her. And I’m sorry that I just...gave up, protecting her,”

“Yeah well--”

“But I hear you now, and-- and she’s going to need to go away,” He looked at your sleeping body sadly.

“She’s in no shape to go anywhere, Carisi,” Rafael clutched your hand as if he was protecting you.

“Not now, no,” Sonny agreed. “But when she’s better--”

“We don’t know if she’s going to get better!” Rafael suddenly stood up and walked towards him; Sonny backed up as he approached, afraid Rafael was going to grab him again.

“Even more reason you shouldn’t be here!” Sonny argued.

“What?”

“Barba look,” He cautiously put a hand on Rafael’s shoulder. “I...I get that you two have some kind of-- I don’t know, connection,” He glanced at you.

“But it doesn’t change the fact that you barely know her, and she barely knows you. You have a job and a life waiting for you tomorrow, you can’t be sitting here sitting vigil for some girl you slept with once,”

“How dare you fucking say that to me, Carisi,” Rafael’s eyes narrowed as he snapped his shoulder from Sonny’s grasp.

“How fucking dare you. First you don’t want me anywhere near her, then you tell her she’s nothing to me, then suddenly you think that I’m in love with her, and-- and now that I’m finally...attached to her-- you want me to just leave her alone again?”

“No, I never wanted you near her because of this exact situation!” Sonny hissed, trying not to wake you. “I told you straight up that she was complicated, and that you weren’t about that life,”

“I am about that life-- I’m serious, about her,” Rafael corrected himself, rolling his eyes at the terms Sonny used.

“Well I don’t think you should be,” Sonny crossed his arms.

“This is the jealousy thing again, isn’t it?” Rafael licked his lips angrily. “You and your stupid ego can’t stand the fact that we--”

“That is NOT it Rafael and you fucking know it,” Sonny narrowed his eyes.

“Then what is it?” Rafael crossed his arms. “It’s clearly not because it’s too much for me, because I’m flat out telling you it’s not,”

“Rafael--” Sonny placed his hands over his face. “I have spent my life protecting this girl, okay? And I may have dropped the ball here, but that just means that I will sure as hell not do it again. And that means that I have to have her best interest at heart,”

“What does that even mean?” Rafael looked at him quizzically.

“Her whole world is different now, Barba!” Sonny gestured to you. “You heard the doc. She has no gallbladder, whatever the fuck that means, she will probably get diabetes, god knows what will happen even if she needs a liver transplant, but my guess is it ain’t good!”

“...Well she won’t be able to drink alcohol,” Rafael said softly.

“Which will make her sobriety that much more urgent and permanent, Barba,” Sonny stepped towards your bed.

“She’s gonna have a long hard road ahead of herself no matter which way this goes right now, and keeping her on track is the only way she is gonna get through it. You think she’s gonna be able to focus on anything but you if you stay here?”

“I can help her--” Rafael insisted, glancing down at your innocent sleeping face. It broke his heart you were hurting, now all he wanted to do was take care of you and make sure you never hurt again.

“You don’t have the time or the freedom to do that, Rafael,” Sonny said sternly. “And you know it,” Sonny’s statement brought him back to reality.

“And you do?” He looked back up at Sonny.

“I’m a detective, Barba. It’s not like I do that much,” Sonny shrugged. “And I have enough PTO for a bit to take care of her. And she’s my responsibility! She’s MY family, Liv will understand that. What she won’t understand is you sitting Shiva at some young girl’s bedside who you barely know,”

“....And what are you going to do when she gets better?” Rafael ran a finger down your bare arm, wishing you would wake up and stop this nonsense your cousin was spewing.

“I’ll ask around,” Sonny now sat next to your bed. “I’ll find her a good place, somewhere she can be taken care of the right way, not some creepy mental hospital,”

“...Alright fine,” He sighed, looking at his watch. It was getting late, and he had an early court date.

“I’m coming back--”

“No, you’re not,” Sonny shook his head. “Look I promise you if she gets worse and needs your emergency liver or kidney or somethin’, I’ll let you know. Other than that, just-- leave her be,”

Rafael flashed back to the last time Sonny had used those words, and how as soon as he agreed, you heard him and it destroyed you. He couldn’t do that again, what if you could still hear him?

“No, I’m coming back--”

“Barba if you come back here I’m gonna tell the nurses that we broke up and you are no family member of hers,”

“You,” He shook his head. “You wouldn’t do that--”

“If it keeps you away from her, I’ll do anything right now Barba, I’m sorry,” Sonny gave him a sympathetic look.

“...She’ll never forgive you for this, Carisi,” He warned Sonny. “When she finds out you kept us apart she will never forgive you,”

“What are you Romeo and Juliet all of a sudden, counselor?” Sonny scoffed. “Give me a friggin break. I’m sure she’ll get over it, when she’s clean and sober and thinking straight,”

“I’ll never forgive you for this,” he growled with a death glare.

“...Yeah, well--” Sonny stood up and started escorting Rafael out the door. “I guess that’s something I’ll just have to live with,”

Rafael glared at him once more before turning on his heels and stomping down the hall, just as you stirred from your med nap.

“Sunshine?” Sonny quickly ran to your bedside.

“Rafa..?” You sleepily asked, you swore you heard his voice just moments ago.

“It’s Sonny,” He nervously looked back at the door, making sure Rafael hadn’t heard you wake up and came running in again.

“Oh,” You blinked several times, trying to get your vision back. When the blur in your pupils resolved, you saw Sonny’s smiling face beaming at you.

“Hey there,” He kissed your forehead. “You scared the shit outta me there, Sunshine,”

“...I’m so sorry, Sonny,” You began to cry in remorse.

“Hey hey hey,” Sonny took you in his arms and shushed you while he rocked you. “Shh shh shh, you’re alright. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you when you were asking for help, I just--I just let you go,”

“...But Rafael didn’t,” You sniffled as you looked around the room for him. “Where is he?”

“He uh--” Sonny stammered. “He left, Sunshine. Early court meeting tomorrow, y’know. Lawyer stuff,”

“Right,” You nodded.

“...He said he wouldn’t be coming back,” Sonny added with a sympathetic look.

“What?” You blinked in disbelief. Had he really just taken off? Without even saying goodbye?

“Well it’s just,” Sonny took your hands. “Honey you’re-- you’re gonna have a lot to go through these next few weeks, maybe months. And Rafael--”

“He doesn’t have time for that,” You finished for him, accepting the truth.

“Yeah,” Sonny nodded slowly.

“Right,” You picked at your blanket as you stared down at it morosely. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything more than him dropping me here. He tried telling me that he was--”

“He was what?” Sonny quirked an eyebrow. You thought about telling him that Rafael had said he was in love with you, but you weren’t entirely sure that happened anymore, given how out of it you were at the apartment.

“...He was ready for a relationship,” You lied. “But I guess he wasn’t ready for a dumpster fire of a girlfriend,”

“You’re not a dumpster fire, Sunshine,” Sonny assured you.

“...Yeah clearly this doesn’t scream ‘damaged goods’,” You gestured to all the wires you were hooked up to.

“You’re not--” Sonny sighed and shook his head as he wrapped his arms back around you. “You’ll find someone,”

“...Not someone like him,” You whispered sadly, tears dripping down onto your IV tube.

“Well hey,” Sonny coughed as he tried to change the subject. “I better get goin’ make sure you get some good sleep,”

“...But I was just--” You tried to say you had been sleeping this whole time.

“I’ll come check on you tomorrow, kay?” Sonny kissed your head and started heading towards the door. He hated to do this, but he had to keep you safe. He turned around and gave you a sad smile.

“Hey, Sunshine?”

“Yeah, Son?”

“I uh, I don’t wanna rub it in or nothin’, I just--” Sonny cleared his throat. “Barba wanted me to tell you not to contact him anymore,”

“...Oh,” You looked over at your phone, which was charging on the table next to your bed.

“He just thought it would be easier, y’know? Clean break and all,” Sonny lied with a sad smile.

“Yeah, sure no of course,” You nodded, trying to keep it together.

“Alright well, I’ll see ya,” He nodded one more time before shutting the door, leaving you alone.

You immediately grabbed your phone and began typing a message to Rafael, telling him how you were sorry and that you never should have tried to kick him out, and that he saved your life and that you knew you were a huge mess, but that you would clean yourself and do everything in your power to be good enough for him if he just let you--and you just stared at it.

You re-read it a thousand times, tears streaming down your cheeks. You couldn’t send this, it was pathetic. He already made his choice, he tried to tell you he loved you and you had blown him off by almost dying in his arms. And he ran. You couldn’t blame him either, you’d run away faster than a Kenyan track star if you were him.

After going through all that bullshit with his dad, he’d never want to relive that with you, some girl he barely knew. There was no way. And begging him to come back to you after all the shit you said to him at your apartment was just pitiful.

You deleted the message and then started to delete his contact info, but you knew you needed to be drastic. If it was a clean break he wanted, you’d have to give it to him. You’d already put him through way too much stress and punishment than he deserved, you had to be stopped. You highlighted his number and hit “BLOCK NUMBER”, before deleting it from your phone.

There. Now there was no way you could find him, or vice versa. Clean break. You put the phone down next to you and laid down, realizing what you had just done. You had just deleted the potential love of your life from your existence, forever. You cried yourself to sleep, only dreaming of Rafael.

=============

Rafael laid down in his bed after getting home and showering the bad day off of him. He opened the text thread of your messages, and saw the ellipsis light up, signaling that you were typing. It was there for a long time, he became more and more anxious as they just flashed in the darkness, taunting him. He was so happy you were okay, he had to tell you what Sonny said but that he would never be able to keep him from you. He waited and waited, and then the dots were gone. He waited a moment for you to send it, but soon got impatient and just texted you

“Y/N I’m so glad you’re okay, you had me so worried. I miss you,”

He hit SEND, but was met with the most horrifying response:

“The number you have texted has blocked you from contacting them.”

“No…” He muttered alone in the dark. “No, this can’t be happening,”

Did Sonny have your phone? Did he do this? Did he tell you something to make you do this? Did you do this on your own when you realized he had left. Sonny had to have told you something bad, something diabolical. He had no way of contacting you now, and he would never get into the hospital to see you.

What was going on?

-------------

The next morning after his court session, Rafael headed over to the precinct to talk to Sonny. He practically sprinted through the door into the bullpen, to find it empty.

“...Where’s the SVU squad?” Rafael asked a cop at the front desk.

“Do I look like a concierge, Barba?” The cop rolled his eyes. “Does my badge say ‘doorman’? I don’t keep tabs on you people!”

“Thanks Louie,” Rafael rolled his eyes as he walked out of the station, dialing Sonny’s number on his phone.

“Hello?”

“What did you do?”

“Barba?”

“What did you do, Carisi?!”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N blocked my number,”

“Well good--”

“NO, not good. Carisi. What did you say to her?”

“Y’know Barba, maybe you should take the hint and move on,”

“Oh fuck you, Carisi,” He growled into the phone. “I’m going to the hospital,”

“Yeah well, good luck getting in here counselor,” Sonny shook his head with a small laugh, glancing over at you in your room, while he stood outside. “I’ve told the nurses you were a deadbeat dad who wanted to kidnap our niece for yourself, so they’re on alert not to let you anywhere near her,”

“You’re evil,” His voice was low and horrified.

“I’m doing what’s best for my baby cousin, Barba. If that makes me the bad guy, so be it,” Sonny spoke like a mob boss, tracing the glass on the window to your room.

“I’ll see her when she gets out,” Rafael sneered.

“Well that might be difficult, seeing as I’ve found her a very nice place to go as soon as she gets outta here. Somewhere far away from here, and you,” Sonny couldn’t help but smirk.

“No, Carisi don’t do this,” Rafael became desperate, his angry threats turned to pathetic pleas. “Please don’t send her away-- I love her,”

“If you love her you’ll let her go, Rafael,” Sonny simply said, ending the call before Rafael could say anything else.

“GOD DAMMIT!!!!” Rafael screamed in the middle of the foot traffic, making people turn and stare at him.

He had to fix this. He couldn’t let you leave thinking he didn’t want you. He couldn’t lose you, not now. Not after everything.

Was he going to lose you forever?

#rafael barba #rafael barba angst #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba fanficton #law and order svu #sonny carisi #sonny carisi angst #law and order svu fanfiction #weird secret friends

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stina-is-a-punk-rocker · 4 years ago

Text

jacqueline wilson’s ‘love lessons’

tw: abuse, pedophilia, characters making Bad Decisions, long unnecessary spiel about my childhood like I’m running a recipe blog

It’s funny how loads of the authors who helped shaped me into the vaguely humanoid being I am today have names beginning with the letter ‘J’; Judy Blume, Jeff Kinney, John Green, J.K. Rowling (yikes, I know) … and Jacqueline Wilson.

I’ve never owned a Jacqueline Wilson book of my own; they were always borrowed from a friend, or from a friend of a friend, or from a friend of a cousin- you get the gist. Her books, for me, come with an entire aesthetic: something reminiscent of yard sales, and reading under the covers with a flashlight, and being lulled into a false sense of security by the deceptively innocent Nick Sharratt illustration on the cover until someone’s best friend gets mowed over.

So I knew what I was getting into when I picked up Love Lessons. I knew this was going to be Fucked Up; and boy, was I right.

(Here’s the part where I warn you about spoilers.)

From an abusive dad to creepy child predator teachers to slut-shaming and victim blaming, this book has it all.

The main character is Prudence ‘Prue’ King, who is homeschooled at the beginning of the book, along with her sister, Grace. Their parents remain rooted in the early twentieth century, and are very strict about- well, everything. No TV, no computers, not a single mobile phone in the house; their clothing worse than the orphans’ from Annie; and their father remains distinctly distrustful of modern institutions like the school and the hospital; and so on, and so forth.

Daddy King suffers a stroke, and has to be taken to the hospital. Meanwhile, Mrs. King (a floppy, spineless woman who lives in fear and awe of her, frankly horrid, husband) sends the girls to school, behind the then invalid Mr. King’s back. Cue Prue and Grace being the freakshows of the school, with their strange clothing and overbearing mother.

Grace manages to make friends, but Prue remains alone. The kids are dicks, the teachers are dicks… well, all of them but one. And that’s the art teacher, Mr. Raxberry (I just couldn’t get over that name; it seems like something you’d name a mythical plant from Pixie Hollow or some shit. I’m assuming it isn’t an actual name, since the spelling & grammar check on my computer doesn’t seem to recognize it), or Rax, as he’s called.

Oh, yeah; Prudence’s favorite subject in school is art, and she’s a whiz at it. This is relevant, because reasons.

And here’s where stuff gets murky. Prue develops a crush on Rax- which is perfectly normal. I’m definitely no stranger to it; I’ve had crushes on my teachers, my mum admitted she used to think one of her professors was cute. And yeah, as I grew older, I grew out of those crushes and now have a markedly more refined taste in men (unless he’s 5’ 7’’, born in ’97 and named Bang Chan, I don’t want him); and my mum married my dad, so I’m assuming she did, too. Admittedly, now that my dad teaches at a university, it’s icky to think that there might be students who have crushes on him- but I digress.

My point is, loads of us have liked our teachers. But I doubt the majority of us have acted on it.

And Prue actively showing her interest in Rax isn’t the worst part. That’s a spot reserved for Rax reciprocating her feelings.

Guess Ezra Fitz and Ms. Grundy (yes, I watched Riverdale; please don’t cancel me) have a new addition to the Creep Club.

The age of consent in the UK is 16, if I’m not mistaken. Prue is 14. She’s just barely become a teenager, and she’s being preyed upon.

Because that is what Rax is. He’s a predator; he preys upon this vulnerable girl who’s never been in a relationship before- hell, she’s never even had friends- her father’s abusive, so she obviously doesn’t have the best experience when it comes to men- she’s unpopular at school, with the students and staff alike- and he lures her in. I don’t care how bloody nice he is to Sarah, or what a good dad he is (well, he’s really not, seeing as he cheated on the mother of his children WITH A BLOODY FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD CHILD)- the guy’s a fucking pedophile.

I was staunchly stuck at a yellow light with him; like, sure, maybe Prue thinks he’s flirting with her- maybe she’s looking at this all wrong, she doesn’t know how relationships work- see, he drew a picture of Sarah, too, in his secret notebook- Prue’s just reading into this too much- up until he says he loves her.

Dude. Humbert fucking Humbert. She’s fourteen, for Christ’s sake, and you’re married. You have two children. She’s a child. She’s probably closer to your son’s age than she is to yours.

(This is the part where I bury my head in my pillow. And scream. Extensively, and with passion.)

The book does make some genuinely good commentary on slut-shaming and victim blaming and abusive parenting. And on one hand, I can see why so many people find issue with the romanticization of the when I kissed the teacher trope- but I can defend it, too.

The book is in Prue’s perspective. She thinks she’s in love with Rax, so obviously, she’s not going to throw in some valuable moral at the end- because she’s too young and inexperienced to think otherwise. And sadly, there are loads of instances of child abuse that go unreported because the victims just don’t know better.

What I have issue with is how the school dealt with it, ultimately. Prudence, a child, has to deal with the consequences of the actions of a literal child predator. Sure, Rax ‘clears his name’ by cooking up some bullshit story about how it was only a crush and he didn’t encourage it, but you’d think other adults would know better and, oh, I dunno- dig deeper into it, instead of blaming it on a child?

“She says you told Mr. Raxberry you loved him and he held you in his arms and fondled you.”

Which Prudence denies, because, again, she doesn’t know better. She then goes on to say that they did nothing wrong. To which the adult speaking to her, in this case, the principal, Miss Wilmott, goes on to say:

“I’m not sure that’s entirely true… I feel that there are some aspects of your friendship that could be considered inappropriate.”

FYI, lady, he kissed her- multiple times (not that kissing her once makes him any more redeemable), and told her he loved her, and admitted to fantasizing about running away with her and leaving his family behind. Fun fact: do you know Prudence is underage?

You’d think that Miss Wilmott would maybe give this whole fiasco a favorable ending, but it turns out she listens to school gossip;

“I haven’t been at all happy with your attitude. You don’t seem to understand how to behave in school. I’ve heard tales of unsuitable underwear and then a silly romance with one of the boys in your class. I feel that in the space of a few short weeks you’ve made rather a bad name for yourself… I don’t know whether you intend to be deliberately insolent but you certainly come across as an unpleasantly opinionated and arrogant girl… I can’t help feeling that you’ll be much better off elsewhere. I shall try hard to engineer a suitable transfer to another school.”

And then she comes out with this gem:

“If you won’t leave, then I shall have to ensure that Mr. Raxberry finds another position.”

“No, you can’t do that! He’s a brilliant teacher.”

“You should have thought of that before you started acting in this ridiculous and precocious manner. If I were another kind of headteacher, I would have Mr. Raxberry instantly suspended. There could even be a court case. He would not only lose his job, he could find himself in very serious trouble. Did you ever stop to think about that?”

Girlboss, gaslight and gatekeep. The fucking trifecta.

Also, by ‘another kind of headteacher’, does she mean the kind of headteacher WHO DOESN’T LET CHILD PREDATORS ROAM FREELY WITHIN THEIR HALLS?

This bitch is out here blaming a child, a literal child, for the crimes of an adult man.

The only time Prue seems aware of the fact that Mr. Raxberry is actually a very shit person is her immediate thoughts that follow after she tells Miss Wilmott she’ll take the fall;

I so wanted to save darling Rax- and yet why hadn’t he wanted to save me? Had he told Miss Wilmott it was all my fault, that I’d got a ridiculous crush on him, that I’d made ludicrous advances to him? … I wanted to tell this horrible, patronizing woman how hungrily he’d kissed me, but I couldn’t do it. I loved him. I had to help him.

NO, SWEETHEART; YOU MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT.

And maybe I’m going overboard with all these excerpts, but here’s what Rax has to tell Prue, after school, following her expulsion:

“I let her think the worst of you, the best of me, just to save my skin. I said it was ridiculous talking about a love affair between us. I said you simply had a crush on me, and that I was just trying to be kind… You were brave enough to stand up to me and force me to acknowledge the truth… I love you… That’s why I had to take a risk and see you this one last time. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t care… Every night when I close my eyes, I’ll think of us together in this car and how badly I wanted to drive off with you. I’ll imagine us walking hand in hand at the water’s edge… I wish I wasn’t such a coward.”

(I burrow into the pillow further. I’m trying to suffocate myself.)

And that’s where I think Wilson went wrong. Sure, Prudence getting expelled for something that was completely out of her hands is unfair, and horrible, but it’s real. That shit can happen.

What’s bad is showing Rax in a positive light after all that. If only Wilson had written Rax to not be the Romeo he thinks he is. Make him ignore Prudence, throw her under the bus in front of her face, instead of this star-crossed lovers bullshit it’s made out to be. Show your younger audience that Rax is not a good man. I’ve got a little over two weeks left for my twentieth; I can see why this is unacceptable. But I was a little younger than Prue when I watched Pretty Little Liars, and my only gripe with Aria dating Ezra was that Noel Kahn was so much cuter.

It shows when you scroll down the Goodreads reviews; you’ve got adults giving it one or two stars, and teenagers giving it four or five, with their biggest complaints being, “but Toby was cuter!!!”

Other non-pedophilia related complaints regarding the book include: Prudence being unlikable- which I didn’t really notice, considering she reacted to some people way better than I would’ve, even at 19 (which probably says a lot more about me than it does about Prue, but oh well). Still, Prudence obviously isn’t the most prudent of people- and again, she’s fourteen. Look me in eye and tell me you weren’t an arsehole at that age (unless you’re fourteen now, in which case, I assure you that you’ll look back on yourself someday and go ‘wtf was I thinking’). Bringing up Toby’s dyslexia in an argument was low, though.

There were people who thought the Kings’ almost-Amish lifestyle was exaggerated and unrealistic, but I assure you, it may very well be real. There are 8 billion people on the world- it’s fair to assume that several of them are complete weirdos.

Grace was a sweet character, and I adored her with every fiber of my being. As were her friends Iggy and Figgy. Honestly, I would’ve loved a book about Iggy, Figgy and Piggy’s (mis)adventures too.

#love lessons #jacqueline wilson #teacher #teacher crush #teacher x student #anti ezria #ezria #pretty little liars #aria montgomery #ezra fitz #when i kissed the teacher #book review #books

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writingwithcolor · 4 years ago

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Hi, thank you all so much for running this blog--I was hoping I could get your feedback on a Jewish MC. The crux of my question is whether I, a gentile, would be out of line depicting her experiencing internalized discrimination from her own father (who in my first draft was Catholic, but I think that will be changing to a TBD protestant denomination).

The backstory I have for her right now is that her mother is Jewish and places great value on the history and culture of being Jewish, but is not a particularly religious person. Her daughter refers to her as having sometimes attended events at a local reform synagogue and making note of the high holidays but she is, overall, not someone with strict religious observances of any kind, and for a long time she and her husband (raised Christian but deeply agnostic) raise their daughter on the idea that it's important to understand where she and her family come from but that how she ultimately pursues faith--whatever that faith may be--is up to her. Both parents introduce her to the stories and lessons they grew up with but don't pressure her to attend religious events, etc. unless she has a personal, independent interest in doing so. For the first 16 or so years of her life this is how she's raised and her family is stable and her parents seem deeply in love. So far beta readers from households with one Jewish and one Christian parent have told me this backstory seems fine to them, though I welcome any feedback you have, too.

What I'm most concerned about, though, is when she's a teen and her parents divorce. Right now I have the reason for their divorce as being that they fell out because her dad becomes a bit of a Christian zelot and becomes less and less respectful of his wife's religion and background as he gets deeper into this mindset. The reason he becomes like that is essentially that when 9/11 happens MCs mother, who grew up with the story of how her grandparents fled from the Soviet Union because of religious discrimination under Stalin, only narrowly managing to immigrate as far as the US before the breakout of WWII, powerfully empathizes with the people suffering from the horrible rise of Islamophobia we saw in 2001-2002. Her husband, on the other hand, does what I saw a lot of people in my family and community do and becomes increasingly religiously conservative as a reaction the percieved "threat" of the Islamic world. (This is all clearly identified in the book as his being in the wrong.) One of the ways this manifests is that he starts pressuring his daughter, the MC, to attend church services with him and become Christian. His rationale is that he just wants what's best for his daughter--to be "saved."

MC's mother has no tolerance for that crap, as she shouldn't, so they fight quite a bit going forward and eventually separate. Mom gets custody of the MC.

While her father never says anything openly antisemitic--implying those ideas but never stating them explicitly--he does respond to 16 yr. old MC basically asking him if he would still love her if she pursued her mom's faith by saying some bullshit along the lines of "well honey I just love you and want the best for you," as his answer. She never says to him that she's cutting him out, but after this moment she's never close to her father again and by the time the main narrative takes place 10 years later, she hasn't spoken to him since she was 21.

This backstory helps build a foundation for a lot of themes for the MC in terms of different ways alienation manifests in her life, how she trusts, and what we can and cannot forgive our parents for, so I like it from a narrative standpoint, but I would deeply appreciate your feedback on whether writing this kind of experience for a Jewish character is inappropriate for me to be doing. And, if not, do you have any suggestions on ways to modify this backstory, or would you recommend scrapping it entirely? Thank you so much.

Interfaith family broken up when Dad becomes a jerk and a bigot

A difficult situation definitely but I don’t have a problem with the setup. If this isn’t based on your own observations, it’s probably a good idea to get a beta reader with experience around bigots of the same stripe as Dad to make sure the awful stuff Dad says uses word choices and ideas that feel authentic. If that IS your experience I am so very sorry and I hope you have other wonderful people in your life to make up for it.

--Shira This seems very well planned, and thought out. It's also very real, and will be an emotional read I'm sure. As long as your character isn't forced to give up her Jewishness because of her father, and provided that you are careful during fight scenes between the parents earlier in the work (to ensure that the mom doesn't end up seeming like the Shrill Jewish Woman stereotype), I think you are on solid ground. Good luck!

--Dierdra

Also, I just caught that you said "internalized discrimination" from her dad -- that's not what internalized discrimination means. Internalized discrimination is when someone is feeling negatively about their own group, because they've absorbed bigoted ideas from outside. Discrimination from someone who isn't yourself isn't called “internalized” even when it comes from someone as close as a parent. But that's just a little language correction.

--Shira

Oh no, this backstory is so sad! I hope your MC has a happy ending with some very mutually supportive relationships.

I agree that this shouldn't be a problem as long as you take care to avoid stereotypes on a more micro level in specific scenes. As for the overall idea, nothing jumping out at me. You've clearly put so much effort into creating a believable background for your character and its influence on her current psyche - that gives me confidence that you will write humanised characters rather than falling back on tropes!

Also, don't know if you knew this but something to note with interfaith families: if MC's mother is Jewish, she is a Jew in Jewish law. It doesn't matter what she believes or practises or how she was brought up. (I don't say this to invalidate patrilineal Jews or oppose anyone self-identifying the way they want, but just halachically. You should be aware that many more religious Jews will consider her that way.)

Good luck with your story! I would read this 😌

--Shoshi

#writingstellar #Jewish #Jewish Women #antisemitism #interfaith #interfaith relationships #family #asks

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jrueships · 3 years ago

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i’m logging back oh man how i missed tumblr and how i loveee your blog! i’m laughing with the switch and bttm players. yes yes luka seems like a sub bttm! and kuz is a switch! i agree that mariah is probably pegging giannis 😈. giannis probably does things with them boys too. also jrue got the best white house outfit! draymond is obviously a dom like his ugly ass is so controlling and corny. and we all know steph is kinda sus! sorry ayesha we’re not that serious here 😭. but yeah trae seems so desperate sometimes it’s so funny. he’s like confused all the time, waiting for someone to make a move first 😭. your thoughts on keldon? he’s such a cute bundle of laughter, i can’t imagine him being a top… and guess what? i got a tip that jimmy have a big dingdong and got stamina for days. he’s kinda a talker and controlling too. so i don’t agree with him being the bttm one! well maybe dom bttm? like have you seen jimmy? girl he’s so whewww. and bam? bam is such a cute big fella idc! he’s probably a sub too 🤣. oh after seeing the latest post, i wonder if kyle is ruining the bam and jimmy duo? SORRY for this long ask and i’m going to HELL with this fr fr

THIS ENTIRE ASK IS ...

GENUINELY... DO NOT KNOW HOW TO RESPOND. WHERE TO sTART ??? the phrase '..and guess what? i got a tip that Jimmy have a big dingdong' is going to glue itself to my BRAIN i LITERALLY cannot stop LAUGHING at that sentence HELP ???? URE SO FUNNY??? THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ASK DONT WORRY OR APOLOGIZE QKDBEJB I SAW IT AND HAD TO REREAD IT LIKE 50 TIMES IT WAS SO GOOD WKBFKEB???? IM SO GLAD U LIKE THE BLOG AND IM EVEN GL A D - E R THAT U LOGGED BACK IN OMG UR MIND ???? UR WOrdS ??? HELP ???? I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO KNOW WHO AN ANON WAS MORE THAN NOW pLEASE. I NEED TO KNOW WHICH ARTISAN CREATED THIS JUST FOR ME ???????? SRS THIS IS SO GOOD I AKFBKSBF IT RLLY MADE MY DAY BRUH BUT ANYWAYS LETS GET TO IT 😭😭

LITERALLY ... UR MIND.. the way u See the subpremacy !!! AND the giannis peggage EXACTLY he and she are TOO BEAUTIFUL n o t to have tried it !!!! giannis' jokes about it paid off when he finally learns what it ACTUALLY is☝! ALSO ... ' giannis probably does things with them boys too ' HELP WLNDWK honestly the bucks really Are just a large poly frat of dads! Love that for them !! bucks polycule REMAINS doin things 😳😳 And YEAH SO TRUE !!!! Jrues SLAPPED !!! I think his wife dressed him or smthin but he slapped with the STYLE !!! I wonder if he won the 'best dressed to the white house' award LMAO fake or NOT he should GET IT !!!! even though he'd probably run away when they try giving it to him & all start complimenting him without him being able to compliment back LMAO

DRAYMONDS UGLY ASS 😭😭 he really was born with a receding hairline, giant forehead, AND a mouth breather huh 😭 (it's okay im a mouth breather too I understand the pain of always looking like you're hexxed or in a void) he has it ROUGH and it should only be FAIRR that he can be a little ROUGH too !!!! Im sure swaggy p wouldn't Mind at All . . Steph sus steph sl*t it BEEN known # girlboss 💙💙

The trae thoughts are SO cute awww.. little incel fratboy trae !! He's good with whatever his partner is willing to give! Just wants to make em feel good n whatnot ! he's very Gremlin evil and surpasses twinkhood via evil gremlin mastermind tendencies BUT that DOESNT mean he can't be soft sometimes !!!! Exactly!

About keldon... here's one of my Twitter mutual's Thoughts on him from a While back . .

WHO TOLD U THAT ABOUT JIMMY HELP??? and WHY were you wonderin about it in the First place hmm 🤨 ??? Suspicious.. but YEAH this is SO funny QJBDJW I fr want ur prose not even being sarcastic this was the greatest thing to read ever KABDJW but YEAH (x2) !! I can see jimmy as a Dom bttm! Very bossy, likes telling his top what he can do.. not sure if he's reached Russ's levels of Dom bttming but he's Around There !!!! But yeah Switch jimmy is ... a Thought. He is Insane he is Unbridled !!! Kyle rlly went from service top deebo to JIMMY. pray 4 that little man and his as(s)pirations bro

YEAH!! IKR ! bam is SO cute he deserves a little **** just a LITTLE ! him being a sub is also a BIG brain idea !!! I am looking Exactly at it op!! He's also very kinda Smartassy, HAS to get the last word HAS to snap back (as seen by his brief ball scuffle with kd at the Olympics .. where he literally STOLE keldons ball 😭😭). i think he can be ur sorta mean teasing tp or your brat bttm yaknow it all Depends ! Kyle WISHES he had the range !!!

ABOUT THE LAST ONE, that's an INTERESTING query!!!!! A little problem in paradise perhaps??? LMFAO idk! I personally, going off bam's smartass dumbassery, like to see his relationship with kyle just being like. Competition 24/7 but the VIBES! they don't Necessarily compete like? Physically, but with Wit. Because bam and jimmy banter 24/7 and are both petty bitches AND NOW.. bam has to deal with TWO petty bitches.. and kyle is Extra powerful because he's a little man with nothing to lose and bam can only lose So much until he goes home and starts beating up his backpack pretending it's kyle LMAO. I think they just Really like getting on each other's nerves! They being said tho ... i wonder if they.. Do compete physically tho? hm.. some food 4 thot

Also ...... deebo/kyle/jimmy/bam 4some WHEN 🤨??? And HOW ... hmmm. Much food 4 thot

#i LOVE long asks DONT WORRY #also im NOT veing rude btw just incase ure worried/cant tell this ask was REALLY fun #AND funny #i loved it alot LMAO i hope i dont sound TOO insane #even i do not understand my humor anymore #and i dont think i ever want to #QUITE frankly!!!#ted asks #ted redacted #ted sus #ted drabble #ted ted ted etc etc #wrote this in a five second flurry will NOT tag the people included bcus im lazy now LOL

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aquariusshadow · 3 years ago

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Live!Blogging HSMTMTS s2x8

Well, well, well, who would’ve thought my streaming site would have the episode up early. I can finally get a Live!Blog done at a decent time for once.

Rip Rini. That’s my only prediction for this ep.

Lesss goooooo

“napoleon over here” jfc haha

“because winners don’t freak out” good mantra miss jenn

Lets take a shot how many times Ricky says “Nini”—I’m at 2 already with one minute in

Awwwwwwww look at gina giving ej pointers for the dancing

“biggie” idk how I feel about that nickname for big red but you do you Ashlyn

Why am I surprised that this rendition is really good

Big red you’re killing it

To any of yall who remember Unus Annus (memento mori ☹ ) plz tell me you remember their “version” of the gaston song???

Cuz that’s all im thinking about

EJ your voice is so good we’ve been robbed this entire show

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful, well done well done

Awwww poor seb

Tbf I’d probably try that out too ngl haha

We’re already calling ricky ‘you-know-who’ and this show is well known for it’s harry potter references…..yikes

Asdlhjsdlhfasdfh

“No offense Ricky, but it’s not all about you.” Daaaaaaaaamn

Ricky

Sir

What are you doing

Why

Aldfaksjdfahsdf

Yes asking people to collab is legit

Yes this could also be some creep

But stop being clingy and obsessive ricky good lord

Oh so NOW he regrets one of his bad choices with nini

Hehe portwell smiling at each other all throughout the ep

HFLDKJHGJFGGH

WAIT

ARE WE ADDRESSING IT

EJ LIKES HER HOLY SHIT

AJDFALHSDJFASDLFHASDFJASDFLASDFJASDFHASKFDJASDLFS

I MEAN IT WAS OBVIOUS

BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IF/WHEN/HOW THEY WERE GONNA ADDRESS IT

I stg if my video doesn’t stop glitching imma sue something

Oooooooooo ej’s dad

Oh no

Ej never told his dad about duke

WAIT

HIS DAD PULLED STRINGS TO GET HIM IN

Sir

Mr sir

Mr fucking sir

Of course he’s one of those parents

Miss jenn does have a strong soprano range I’ll give her that

Poor seb

He just wanted some rehearsal time

Honestly ricky I think you can still call her nini

Even big red is tired of listening to the same shit with ricky

I do feel for the kid but man

Ooooo kourt’s mom

I like how we’re seeing more of the parents

Her mom is so supportive

That’s so nice to see

Yaaay some of their relationship was real afterall

Even tho Howie scuffed up

Yea kourt you tell him

Yea I have a feeling ricky just kinda froze while taking the career apititude test

“I did not come home for you” hell yea nini you tell him

Everyone in the restaraunt is just staring lmao

Rip Rini?

I will be very very very mad if they make up at the end of the ep and continue on like nothing happened

Awwwwww Ashlyn made a Big Red career collage that’s so cute

Oooooooooh I see the conflict now ok

Big red you should tell her what you really want

There you go

Look at that communication

Rini take notes

Awwwwww mazzarra made her a lil mini snack/coffee table to help her relax

That’s very sweet

And he’s the only one of her love-interests that actually knows how to HELP her

Man he’s smitten with her isn’t he

Gina’s hair is so pretty here I love it

She smiles every time she sees ej ehehe

And he’s helping her crochet <3

Look at portwell’s communication skills here

Maaaaaaaan

Even tho they are different

Both of them are listening to each other and are still helping each other

While rina had stuff like that in common

Season 2 scuffed them so bad gina was just unhappy

Aka gina’s list on why she likes ej

This is so cute

Jasljdsflhasdf

“you’d see what I-the rest of us see”

Plz don’t play with my heart yall

I wasn’t sure if Gina liked him back romantically or not

Portwell Nation rise up

Ashlyn I love you but whyyyyy did you ruin the momenttttttt

Oh my god

Why are Rini being happy and cute when they JUST blew up at each other

Im so confused

Is that normal for relationships?

To go from a major fight then being super cute and happy like nothing happened????

Ok now we’re talking about it…..

“At YAC I liked who I was there” uh…Nini weren’t you kinda miserable there?

Oooooooooo

Here’s the thing

Right now Ricky is clinging onto the safety feeling

And Nini JUST said she didn’t want to be ‘safe’

Im glad he told her about the insta comment

Are they….are they actually breaking up now?

Alright this is probably the best way they both could’ve ended things

A mutual, understanding, emotion filled break up with no hard feelings

That’s gonna help both of them in the future I think

Assuming the writers don’t throw them back together at the end of the episode

My heart does go out to them tho :/

Howie does have a very nice voice

LOOK AT DOMESTIC PORTWELL

GUYS LOOK AT THAT

THAT’S SO CUTE

HE PUT A BLANKET OVER HER LIKE COME ON

SHE FELT SAFE ENOUGH TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH NEXT TO HIM

rina could never at least right now

Ok we got all the ships in this song

Except for Rini

If this is foreshadowing im very content

Awwww ricky ☹

Beautiful Howie

I loved that so much

Great voice

Great ending to an episode

Did I actually keep track of how many times Ricky said “Nini” in this episode? Yes, yes I did. It helped me stay more focused ironically enough. Luckily half of those were in conversation with Nini so that wasn’t awful lmao.

So I was right about Rip Rini. Incredible. Hopefully they stay broken up for a while and focus on themselves. RICKERAPY CAN FINALLY SHINE!!!!!

Also, EJ likes Gina confirmed? Portwell nation, how we feelin today?

#hsmtmts #live!blogging hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2x8 #rip rini #portwell #portwell nation #rickerapy #everyone is too talented plz help #memento mori to all those who get it #nini salazar roberts #ricky bowen #ej caswell #gina porter #r*na could never #domestic portwell #plz let rini work on themselves #dont throw them back together in the season finale

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wiypt-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Riding High

Ch25: Keep it Simple

Chapter Summary: The events of Boston behind them, Frank, Fliss and Mary look forward to Christmas…and Frank has a big surprise planned.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut…NSFW and NO UNDER 18s!!!

Chapter Pairings: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: So here it is, the last in the series Riding High. Thank you to everyone who has helped and re-blogged and commended in any way. Do not fear, Frank and Fliss will be back in the next instalment of their adventure Riding On

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 24

If you should ever leave me, thought life would still go on, believe me, the world could show nothing to me, so what good would living do me? God only knows what I’d be without you…

"Mary can you just hold on a second, please!" Frank sighed, grabbing the back of her coat to stop her shooting off into the crowd that streamed down the busy Manhattan sidewalk. "But Frank!" she turned and looked at him, her woollen hat jammed down over her ears "I just wanna see the stall!" "Yeah but you can't just run off!" He grumbled and beside him Fliss gave a chuckle. He turned to look at her "who gets so excited about damned wooden tree ornaments?" "Oh hush!" Fliss leaned up to give him a pack, her cold nose brushing his. In retaliation he pulled the front of her baby blue sparkly bobble hat down over her eye and she shoved him in the chest, laughing. "Fuck you!" "Chance would be a fine thing" he grumbled, taking Fliss’ hand as they headed after Mary. "Awww is that why you're grumpy?" Fliss grinned as they walked "Coz you haven't had any in nearly 3 days?" Frank pouted "No." "Liar..." "Ok, look...Frankie has needs..." he whined "I completely over looked the fact hanging out with an 8 year old in the room would be a cock block." "Always the shower..." Fliss teased and Frank snorted. "Yeah, right. Can you imagine? I give it 3 minutes before she came looking for us." "We go home tomorrow. I'll make it up to you then." Fliss grinned and he sighed. "What?" She laughed. "It’s just...you look so hot in all this winter clothing." Frank grinned. And he meant it. Seeing her wrapped up in a coat, hat and scarf had made her look all cute and cozy...and it had done inappropriate things to him for some odd reason. "Hmmm, you know most men get more turned on the less clothing their girls wear." She teased and he grinned. "Yeah, well, I'm not most men" She gave him a smile which he returned with a soft kiss as they stopped by the stall where Mary instantly dived into looking at the array of ornaments. After a few moments of looking she handed Frank one in the shape of a reindeer stag, and a doe for him and Fliss before selecting a robin for herself. "I think they're so pretty." She looked at the bird in her hand "I saw one at Evelyn's over thanks giving." "Ever heard the saying robins appear when loved ones are near?" Fliss asked. Mary shook her head. "No" "Well, I don't know about here but certainly in England we say it because there is an old belief by some people that a robin is a message from heaven, that a loved one is watching over you." "Do you believe that?" Mary looked at Fliss. Fliss hesitated "Well when my Dad's dad died I was 20 and I remember getting up the morning after he died and there was a robin on the fence of the back garden. Bill told me it was my granddad Alex come to check I was ok." "Do you think it was? Really I mean?" "I dunno sweetheart." Fliss sighed "I'd like it to be true..." "Then you should believe it was." Mary said, looking at her "Because isn't that what faith is? Believing something you want to be true?" Fliss looked at Frank who smiled and gave a small shake of his head. She turned back to Mary, smiling softly as she dropped a hand to the back of her head. This kid was unbelievably wise, but with such an innocence behind it all. "Yeah, I suppose it is." Fliss nodded. "Do you think the robin I saw could have been my mom?" She asked, her eyes wide. Frank at that point stepped in, carefully picking an answer that was ambiguous so as not to say yes, but also not dampening her spirits. "If your mom could I'm sure she would come and see you, make sure you're ok." Mary gave a nod, before she turned back to the stall, her attention back on the ornaments. "We need a dog for Thor, and a cat for Fred oh...and a pony for Monty." "What about Cap and Heidi?" Fliss asked, moving to inspect the selection of decorations. "Oh, yeah!" "This is gonna bankrupt me." Frank grumbled, his hands on Fliss' hips, chin resting on her shoulder as he observed the two of them. "Scrooge" Fliss shot back with a smile "Do you think Verity and Bill will like this one?" Mary held up a snowman. "Absolutely" Fliss nodded. "And can I get one for Evelyn?" She asked, selecting a snowflake. Despite the fact that they were now well into the fifty buck range for fucking tree decorations, Frank couldn't help but want to smile at Marys face. She was so thoughtful, the purity behind it all was, as usual, humbling. So he nodded "Sure she will appreciate it." He smiled. He moved to lift her up so she could hand the ones they had picked over to the guy behind the counter who asked Mary what names she wanted on each one. As she told him, he allowed her to sit up on the edge of the little surface, held in place by Frank to watch as he burnt the names into each ornament before he bagged them up and she took them with a thanks. "Our first family tree stuff!" Mary grinned and Fliss smiled, bending down to give her a hug. They set back off towards the hotel, stopping by a burger joint for dinner before they dumped their bags and returned back out for their final evening in the City. Frank had loved every second of their trip, and so had Mary and Fliss. Seeing Mary's reaction to snow and the Christmas lights had been amazing, along with all the bands on street corners, people walking around dressed up. It was magical and he wasn't afraid to let his inner child come out to play either, as Fliss had just found out. "Whose idea was this again?" He asked as Mary was bouncing up and down in the queue. "Yours!" Fliss scoffed as he took Mary's hand in his right "I seem to recall the very visible horror on your face yesterday when I told you I'd never done it before..." "That’s because it's an abomination that someone who's 34 has never been ice skating." "I was a professional athlete." She shrugged "I was banned from doing anything deemed dangerous " Frank looked at her "What do they consider more dangerous than flying a half tonne animal almost 2 meters into the air?" "Bungee jumping, sky diving, jet skiing, water skiing, ice skating.." Fliss shrugged "just to name 5" Frank shook his head as the queue shuffled forward a little. It wasn't too long now, luckily they had timed it right by arriving 20 minutes or so before the next lot of General Admission to the famous Rockefeller rink opened so there weren't too many people ahead. After another 10 minutes they got to the front and Frank nudged Fliss out of the way as she tried to pay. She scowled at him and he simply rolled his eyes and handed his card over. It wasn't cheap but then, he was in New York. What was? Together they headed onto the ice. Frank, having done it a few times as a kid found his legs fairly quickly and didn't stop himself laughing as Mary's completely went from under her and she landed with a thump on her ass. "Here..." he chuckled, offering her his hand. He pulled her up and moved her in front of him. "Give me your hands..." Mary extended her arms to the side and he took her mitten clad hands in his, holding her in front of him. Fliss was moving tentatively behind him, using the sides for support a little. "Ok slide your right foot forward, like on your roller skates..." Frank said. Mary did as she was told "now left...right...left...right..." He continued his chanting and glanced over his shoulder to see Fliss was concentrating on her feet, her tongue poking out slightly. "You good?" "Yup." She said, raising her hand to give him a thumbs up before she skidded slightly and went down in a tangle of limbs. Letting out a laugh he gently pivoted Mary so she could hold onto the side and offered Fliss his hand. Pulling her up into his arms he held her steady for a moment whilst her laughing subsided. He watched her for a second, her face creasing up into those adorable dimples, eyes crinkled so much they were almost shut and her shoulders shook with the force of her giggles. "I fuckin' love you..." he grinned and she smiled at him. "Back at ya sailor" After another few laps Mary and Fliss had managed to get the hand of it which meant Frank could leave them a little bit as he went off for what he called a proper skate. The girls watched calling him a show off as he crossed his feet and turned, skating backwards a little. Both of them debated sabotaging him and tripping him up but they decided not to, instead they simply pretended they didn't know him, resulting in him grabbing Fliss from behind just beneath the large tree, and spinning her round to face him. "Can I help you?" She teased and he gave a snort. "Yeah, you can... Mary?" He called to her where she was trying to perfect a turn and failing as she almost stumbled again. She looked up and headed over. "Can you take our photo?" "Only if you're gonna kiss..." she replied, making smooching noises. "Well we can’t disappoint her..." Frank shrugged and Fliss grinned, her smile turning into a shriek as Frank quickly grabbed her hips before he took one hand, keeping the other round her back and dipped her so she was bending backwards, planting a sloppy kiss on her lips. She laughed against his mouth as he gave her a wink, before kissing her a little deeper and then setting her upright, his eyes boring into hers which were shining in the Christmas lights surrounding the rink. "Oh that was great!" Mary howled and he turned to face her as she handed his phone back. Frank checked the photo and had to smile, it was a dammed good shot. He showed it to Fliss and she beamed. "A framer?" She asked. "A framer." He agreed. It took them ages to get Mary to finally leave the rink. Even a bribe of hot chocolate, marshmallows and cookies wasn't doing it. Eventually Frank put his foot down and told her it was time to go as it was almost 9pm and they still had that tree to go see before they headed to Central Park for one last walk in the lights. After handing their skates back and retrieving their belongings from the lockers they followed the path to the tree. As they round the corner Mary gasped. "It's huge!" She turned to look at Frank and Fliss, her eyes wide "Oh my God!" Frank smiled kissed Fliss' cheek as Mary walked slightly ahead of them down the walkway that was flanked with smaller trees and the famous lit up trumpeting angels . As they caught her up he slipped his spare hand in his pocket, his fingers curling round the small, leather box inside. The damned thing had been burning a hole in his pocket since he had bought it in Boston just after Thanksgiving. Fliss, Verity and Bill had all stayed for a very pleasant week rounded off with a damned good proper Thanksgiving dinner and the three of them had flown home on the Friday, as Fliss was starting to stress about her business. He and Mary followed on the Sunday after she had been given the all clear to fly after a week’s check up at the Hospital. On his spare afternoon, he'd taken a trip into the city with one goal, and it had been surprisingly easy. The first jeweller he has walked into had a perfect ring, and despite the fact he had visited several others none of them caught his eye like that. So he had gone back and asked the assistant for a closer look. It wasn't a huge rock, white gold and emerald cut with in a pave setting, but everything about it had screamed Fliss. It was delicate and feminine but with a wonderful sparkle just like her. He knew that sounded so lame when he had told the assistant but she has just smiled and told him that if he had that much conviction, it must be right. He had been lost when she asked him what size, but in a sudden inspiration he had remembered the Pandora ring he had bought her when he had gotten his first new pay check as supervisor. He mentioned this to the assistant who beamed and said she could easily size it from that by using a simple conversion chart and told him to come back the following day. His sudden good spirit had fallen as he explained he couldn't do and asked her to see if here was anything she could do, even contemplating taking it and having it sizes back in Florida. But, after the shitty run of events over the last week, his luck was in after she returned 5 minutes later with a slip of paper, informing him it would be ready by the end of the day. When he had told Mary he was going to ask Fliss to marry him, she'd been so excited. She'd asked when, where and when he said he didn’t know she'd given him the most exasperated look on the planet. The only one of his friend who he had confided in, Greg, hadn’t been much help either, simply telling him to do it in a way that meant something to them both. Simply put he just hadn't a fucking clue. He had agonized over how to pop the question. On the boat? Or maybe a sunset on their favourite spot at St Pete's beach? Did he wait for New York? As such, Frank had taken to carrying the ring around with him, waiting for that moment when it felt right. So far it hadn't happened at home and as it stood New York wasn’t faring any better. He had thought about it at the top of the Empire state, but it had been too busy. Then there was a moment in Central Park after they had been snowman building that might have worked...until Fliss had nailed him in the face with a snowball. So they'd had a snowball fight instead. Then when walking over Brooklyn Bridge, the skyline behind them… then when they walked back to the Hotel after seeing the Lion King on Broadway, going the long way round to see the display in Macy's window all lit up...and then that moment before when Mary had taken a picture of them kissing under the tree on the ice rink... but none of it felt right. It didn't feel like the moment for them. But now something stirred in his gut. This could be it. It wasn't too busy, the place was gorgeous, right in front of the tree Fliss had been so desperate to see... Ok Adler, you can do this. Taking a deep breath he pulled the box from his pocket when he heard Mary give a squeal. "Oh...wow! Frankie look..." Fliss' voice was a whisper and she nudged him, pointing to the base of the tree. He followed her gaze to see a blonde haired man down on one knee, presenting a ring to a dark haired woman who had her hands clasped over her mouth. Frank slipped the box back into his pocket and stared at the man as he placed the ring onto his now fiancés finger and did his best to look like he cared when Fliss let out a soft "Awwww" The man looked around excitedly, his eyes falling on the three of them before he asked Frank if he or Fliss would mind taking a photo for them. "Course not buddy, congratulations." Frank smiled. Fucking prick... ***** "It was AMAZING!" Mary gushed to Verity as they walked to the car, Fliss' parents having come to pick them up from the airport. "we saw so much stuff but nowhere near all of it but Frank said we could go back next year in the summer maybe and do a bit more." "Looks like someone else had a good time too." Bill smiled, nodding to Fliss who let out a loud yawn. Frank chuckled "She was up all night, I told her not to have more food so close to bed time." "I wanted a hot dog and a pretzel." Fliss mumbled, "Besides, it's nothing to do with the food...we did a lot of walking." Bill gave a snort "You ride horses for a living, you should be fit enough to walk round New York" "I probably skated about 4 miles too..." Fliss said looking at Mary "Someone wouldn't come off the ice rink" "You been sleeping ok otherwise?" Verity looked at her "I'm fine mum." She smiled "No anxiety?" 'V, she said she's fine so leave it" Bill said gently and Fliss shot a grateful look at her dad. She knew her mum was only concerned but she was fed up of assuring people she was fine. After the attack from John she had suffered a bout of delayed shock which had manifested in a few panic attacks, nightmares, and restlessness at night and on one occasion nausea. Luckily Frank had been brilliant at keeping calm when she had an episode, helping her work through it and the last incident she had suffered had been over a week ago. Once they were all in the car, Frank took the passenger seat after Verity offered it to him, Mary continued to chat all the drive home about New York, Fliss and Frank butting in here and there. They arrived home little after 30 minutes later and Fliss headed up the steps with Mary, Thor almost sending the pair of them flying when they opened the door. "Oh puppy I missed you!" Fliss smiled as she gave him plenty of attention and he kept licking her face, whining and emitting quiet little barks. "Did you miss me? Did you?" "Yerress" Frank did his best Scooby Doo impression as he walked past and Fliss let out a laugh, as she stood up and headed into the living room behind Mary, bumping into the girl as she stopped dead, giving a squeal as she saw the Christmas Tree in the corner. "Mum, Dad?" Fliss called, smiling "I take it you did this?" Frank appeared behind them both, smiling as Fliss and Mary exchanged a glance before they all turned to Bill and Verity who were stood in the doorway. "Well we know how much you like to get your tree up as early as you can and, well we were picking one up for ourselves so we got you one. You don’t mind do you?" Verity, looked at Fliss then Frank. "No, of course not!" Fliss grinned. "Saved me a job." Frank nodded "Thanks guys." "Can we decorate it tonight?" Mary asked "Pleeeeeeeaaaasssseee Frank!" Frank glanced at his watch before giving a sigh, he knew she wouldn't go to bed if he said no anyway so what was the point? Plus she was at the University tomorrow which didn’t start until 10 so... "Ok, but if you so much as grumble tomorrow morning when I get you up you'll be in deep trouble." He looked at her sternly as she stooped to pick Fred up. "Cross my heart, hope to die, we all know Fred's got one eye..." she chanted off, nodding. "We brought your box of decorations from the annex." Verity smiled at Fliss, nodding to the box on the floor. "We thought you could pick what you want to keep now you're combining."

“Speaking of decorations…” Frank said, looking at Mary.

“Oh…yeah…hang on…” She said, running to the sofa where she had dumped her little pink rucksack. She fished out the paper bag they had gotten from the stall and found the Snowman they had bought. With a smile she handed it to Verity who looked down at it, her face curling into a smile as her eyes started to prick with tears.

“Fliss said you wouldn’t mind the names Mary wanted on them.” Frank said, watching carefully.

“Of course we don’t mind!” Bill smiled, picking Mary up to give her a hug “We are Nanny V and Poppa B ain’t that right kiddo?” “Yep!” she grinned, hugging him.

“We’ll save it to hang tomorrow when you come over after school.” Verity said as Bill set Mary on the floor and she hugged her tightly.

After a little more chat Verity and Bill left and Frank instructed Mary to change into her Pyjamas before they did the tree. Deciding that was a good idea, Fliss did the same and before long they were all in the living room. Fliss and Mary going through the boxes of decorations, Frank wrestling with the tangle of fairy lights. How they managed to get so fucking knotted up after simply being in a box for 12 months was beyond him.

He had just about managed it when Thor came over to inspect what he was doing, and dropped straight onto his back on top of the string.

“Thor…get out of it…” he grumbled, pushing the dog who simply rolled over, taking half the lights with him, tangling them round his legs and his tails. “Jesus Christ…stand still…for fucks sake…”

Thinking this was a huge game, Thor started to bounce around, barking, and Frank shook his head. “Fliss, sort this mutt out….” Fliss gave a laugh and dropped off the sofa, calling Thor to her. He sat down, allowing Frank to remove the lights before he stood up, shaking them out. Together the 3 of them wound them round the tree before they made a start on the decorations.

“Frank got me this for my first Christmas.” Mary said, hanging a red bauble which had her name on it. “The glitter has all fallen off it now.”

“We can add more if you want.” Fliss looked at her and Mary shrugged.

“I kinda like it.” It didn’t take them long, and their wooden trinkets from New York were the last ones they hung, Mary ensuring they took pride of place. Frank then lifted her up so she could place the star at the top before they stood back.

“Ready for the big turn on?” Frank asked, grinning. Mary and Fliss cheered and began a countdown from 5. When they hit 1 Frank hit the switch and the lights on the tree came to life. He stepped back, looking up at it, his arm curling round Fliss’ shoulder, his other dropping to Mary as she grinned.

“Best Tree ever.” she smiled.

“Yeah, and now it’s time for the best bed ever…” he looked at her.

“Seriously?” Mary complained

“No moaning, remember?” Frank instructed her. “That was in the morning.”

“Well I just extended it to now as well.” he said, shrugging “Because I can, so get…” “Fine, fine, I’m going…” she grumbled. “Night Fliss.” “Night sweetie.” Fliss dropped a kiss to her head before Mary shot a filthy look at Frank who met her with a passive one of his own.

“I’ll be in in a second.” Frank shot after her, watching as she headed down to the hallway. He turned back to Fliss who was watching the tree, a smile on her face.

“Not exactly up to Macey’s standards…” Frank chuckled and she shook her head.

“I love it.” “It looks like an Elf threw up on it.”

“All trees should be like that.” Fliss shrugged, before she gave his cheek a peck. “Now, you go sort Mary and I’ll get us both a beer.” “Actually…” he said, looping his arms round her waist. “I believe there was something else you promised me tonight…” “Oh, yes, of course, Frankie has needs…” she replied with an almost uncanny impersonation, which made him snort. “Does that mean no beer?”

“No beer.” “You want me to wait in bed.” “Yes I do.” he nodded “Go, I’ll let Thor out and lock up.”

Grinning she accepted his kiss and smiled as she turned around, casting him a quite frankly sinful look over her shoulder which almost had him hard right there and then. Not wanting to wait a moment longer he sorted the dog, locked the door, poked his head into Mary’s room to wish her goodnight, and headed into their bedroom. Fliss was hanging her jeans in the closet after having simply discarded them on the bed earlier, and wasting no time Frank pulled off his T-shirt, tossing it to the side before he stepped up behind her, spinning her round to face him. He pressed his lips to hers, deepening the kiss as he slid his hands down to cup her ass and she smirked into the kiss.

“I like your ass.” he muttered. “I like yours too” she said back, “And your arms”

He laughed and pulled back to look down at her as her fingers trailed up his biceps. “My arms?”

“Yeah, your big, strong arms, and your big, broad shoulders and your stupid, handsome face…” she muttered, pulling him back down to her. In between the dizzying kisses Frank steered her towards the bed, and as her legs collided with the edge he stopped to gently trail kisses across her bare collar bone. His lips found her jaw and then, with a wicked quirk of his eyebrow he reached down for her thighs, and grabbing them he pulled them forwards, causing her to fall backwards as he pitched them both onto the bed. As she laughed he chuckled slightly before he kissed her again, and then it was a scramble to get out of his clothes as fast as he could before he fell back on top of his girl, his hands pulling up her camisole top, lips kissing at the spot just below her ear before he slid down her shorts, his mouth gently kissing a trail up from her belly through the middle of her breasts, up her neck and finally back to her mouth.

Fliss was utterly lost now, in the usual whirl of love, and lust and passion and kissed him back, hard as his hand gently dropped between her legs and he felt her slick against the tips of his fingers as he gently coaxed at her clit, continuing until she was nothing short of a writhing mess clawing at his back, aching for him. They locked eyes as he took her left hand in his, and slowly worked into her, both moaning simultaneously at the sensation, Fliss’s eyes rolling back at the exquisite stretch inside. Frank began to move his hips slowly, deeply, his thrusts weren’t measured in the slightest despite the fact he was absolutely aching for her. He wanted to take it slow, end what had been an amazing trip in the same mood it had started in, absolute pure love.

His mouth moved back to Fliss’s neck, nipping gently at her skin and she let out low moan as he picked up the pace ever so slightly, his spare hand kept hold of her hip, keeping her as close to him as she could possibly be.

“Fuck, Frank, right there…” she groaned as he hit her spot and he smirked slightly, he loved the way she got like this with him, ever so demanding at times, such a far cry from the timid woman he had fallen for the previous year.

“Yeah?” he panted as she gave a soft cry, her body tensing underneath him “Good.” “So good…” she moaned, arching her back. His mouth found hers again and his hand slid from her hip to gently tease her nipple and she rolled her hips to grind up against him, changing the angle slightly causing him to go deeper.

“Lissy…” he panted as he drove into her deeply, slowly, and then again and again, his pace increasing ever so slightly. Every single sense Frank possessed was on fire and he broke the long, lazy kiss that they were sharing to stifle a moan against her cheek when he felt her clench around him, a tell-tale sign she was nearing her release. The sheets rustled underneath and around them both as his hips pushed up against hers, and Frank saw Fliss’ head tip back, her throat bared to him in utter bliss as she came hard, her moans soft and breathy into his ear. Frank picked up his pace slightly, chasing his own end as he pushed her through hers, and when he felt that snake in his belly beginning to unravel, he gave a low grunt which morphed into a gasp as he clung to Fliss, spilling himself into her, his hips slowing to a stop as he collapsed forward. Fliss gave a soft chuckle as her hands gently slid up his back and into his hair, as she moved and pressed a soft kiss to his head.

“I know I keep saying it but I really do fuckin’ love you Cowgirl.” he said, voice muffled as his face pressed into her neck.

Fliss gave a chuckle “I’ll never tire of hearing it Sailor. “

He moved to look at her, flashing her a grin before he caught her mouth in a sweet kiss. **** "You still not managed it?" Greg asked as they stood at the bar, waiting for their drinks. Frank sighed and glanced at Fliss who was sat with Bonnie in the booth, the pair of them sniggering at something. "Do you see a ring on her finger?" He looked at Greg. "No" "Well there's your answer." "What's the hold up, man?" Greg frowned. "Nothing has felt right." Frank sighed "she won’t want a huge fuss in front of people so that basically ruled out all of New York...bar one moment when I thought it was time, in front of the tree at Rockefeller...and then some douchebag went and beat me to it, proposing to his girl whilst we watched..." "You're over thinking it." Greg said, looking at Frank "Take a step back. When are the pair of you at your best? The time you enjoy most, I mean" "Honestly?" Frank shrugged "at night when Mary's gone to bed and we finally sit down and just watch TV or joke around." "Well there you go." Greg shrugged "What, at home?" Frank frowned "Why not?" Greg looked at him "the point isn't to be showy or flashy but to show her you wanna spend the rest of your life with her." Frank pondered this for a moment. Greg has a point. They were at their happiest doing the simple things, spending quiet time together, being fucking normal. Fliss loved it when they curled up and Frank would simply cuddle her close and kiss her head, easy signs of affection that she had craved all through her wreck of a marriage. And Frank loved it too, because it made him feel grounded, time for him to simply be Frank in his own right, the very thing he used to use his Friday night drinking sessions for. Now he could feel it every night, thanks to Lissy…

And then, suddenly an idea came to him, out of nowhere.

Oh, it was perfect! "Greg..." he smiled, slapping the man on the back "you are a genius." "Glad I could be of service." Greg smirked "This means I get best man duty, right?"

Frank smirked at him, shrugging, not giving anything away. His eyes flicked back to Fliss who had now stood up, Simon having returned to the table sliding in next to Bonnie. Frank’s eyes travelled up her bare legs, from her high-heels up to the short little pink playsuit she was wearing, which was printed with black palm trees and other patterns, the small straps settling on her tanned shoulders, the front showing him just enough cleavage. She was wearing a black butterfly necklace that she had bought in New York and her hair was loose, falling over her shoulders in soft curls. Her brown eyes locked onto his and he smiled as he remembered the last Circle Of Truth Christmas outing the previous year, when he had told her he loved her for the first time. And here they were, now 5 days away from their second Christmas together.

“Hey beautiful” he smiled as she reached his side. His arm curled round her and he pressed a kiss to her cheek “You ok?” “Yeah, just thirsty.” she smiled. “Can I get a water as well as my gin please?”

“Sure…” he turned to look at the bar tender who was pulling their drinks together. Once he had attracted his attention and added a bottle of water to the order he turned back to her as Greg spoke up.

“Frank said you enjoyed New York.” “Oh, it was fantastic.” she smiled “Every bit as magical as I thought it was going to be.”

“Good, I’m glad you all had a good time.” Greg smiled “You deserved it after everything that went down.” “Yeah well, he’s banged up now. His brother is going to go down for Endangerment or whatever it is you call it, its’ done, it’s over.” Fliss smiled, “We got the rest of our lives ahead of us now.” “Well, if that doesn’t call for shots then I don’t know what does…” Greg smirked as the bar tender placed their drinks in front of them.

“No, Greg…” Fliss started to protest but Greg cut her off.

“Yes Greg!” he smirked, turning to the bar tender, “Can I get a bottle of Tequila pal and 8 glasses.” Fliss groaned “I’m teaching at 9 am!”

“Dumbass…” Greg looked at her and Frank gave a snort.

“I told you to switch them out…”

“I can’t!” she pouted “I already did for Boston and New York…” “Well…” Greg smirked as the bar tender set the bottle and glasses down in front of him “Looks like you’re doing it with a hangover honey.” “Fuck my life…” **** Fuck my life indeed. Fliss spent the following morning throwing up, groaning once more that she was never drinking tequila EVER again. Frank reminded her of how many times she had said that over the time he had known her and she’d simply let out a huge fake sob and thrown herself face down on the bed again declaring that she didn’t want to adult anymore as it sucked.

The days before Christmas passed in the usual chaos. Presents were wrapped and stashed under the tree, more drinks were had with Friends. Evelyn visited for a few days, which had actually almost pleased Frank a little. She wasn’t staying for Christmas, her arrangements having already been made, but she had hinted that maybe next year she could, to which Frank and Fliss had both agreed. She had been taken with Mary’s gift to her and had laughed out loud when Bill and Verity had presented her with a case of Malbec, the same Malbec she’d smashed a bottle of over John’s head. Her gifts to them both had been a substantial chunk of money, in the thousands, and when Frank had protested at the amount on the cheque she had waved it off as 8 years of owed presents. Mary’s was wrapped so it was placed under the tree for Christmas morning. Evelyn headed back to Boston on the morning of Christmas Eve, Frank and Mary driving her to the airport instead of her driver, where they had both bid her a Happy Christmas and waved her goodbye as she headed off to spend it with her friends in Newton.

After the final preparations were made Frank, Fliss and Mary collapsed onto the sofa for a Marathon of Christmas Films. Mary was, as usual, excited and the copious amounts of chocolate and candy she was shovelling down weren’t helping either, but what the hell, it was Christmas after all.

"You ok?" Frank glanced at Fliss as she sat on the other side of the couch. Love Actually was playing, the final film of the evening before Mary went to bed. Fliss, however didn't look like she was paying attention. "Huh?" She looked at him, blinking. "I said are you ok? You look like you were miles away"

“Yeah, sorry, I was errr…just running through things in my head, making sure nothing was forgotten.” Frank smiled. They were hosting Verity and Bill tomorrow as Steven and his family were at his wife’s parents for this year, flying out instead of the 28th to spend New Year’s with them all. Fliss had asked Frank if they could host, as she’d never had the chance to do that before and of course he had agreed, not least because of the excited look on her face when she had asked.

“The table is set, food and everything is ready to go…” he chuckled, looking at her “Just relax…”

He reached round Mary, his hand gently rubbing at Fliss’ back and she smiled at him, turning her attention to the TV.

20 minutes or so later the film finished and Mary jumped up, grabbing Frank’s hand to make him dance to God Only Knows as the final closing scenes played out. He smiled and picked her up, resting her on his hip as he twirled her round to the song, the pair of them laughing before he eventually dropped her down and told her it was bed time. She scooted off, Fred trotting behind her, his tail swishing as she skipped and Frank headed in about 5 minutes later to tuck her in, before he came back to the living room.

“She wants you to go and say goodnight.” he smiled,

Fliss nodded and stood up.

“You sure you’re ok?” Frank asked.

“Yeah, honestly, I’m just tired.” she assured him. Giving him a kiss she headed up the hall and Frank watched her go before he smiled to himself, and set about quickly putting the last touches to his plan.

She came back about 10 minutes later and he smiled at her as she walked into the room.

“OK, now she’s out of the way…I got something for you...” Frank smiled.

Fliss looked at him before she shook her head, chuckling a little “I got something for you too…Frank, I have-” “Me first.” Frank cut her off.

She looked at him for a second, his bright blue eyes were shining as he grinned at her and she rolled her eyes.

“Fine…” she smiled, “Ok, you first.” He grinned and then folded his arms “You gotta find it.” “What?”

“It’s hidden, on the tree, and you gotta find it.” Her face lit up as she gave a laugh “You are such a dork!” “Yeah, I know…” Narrowing her eyes playfully she moved to the tree, glancing at it. “Ok so it’s not very big then, seeing as I can’t see it straight away.” Frank shrugged as she continued her search.

“I haven’t put it high up, seeing as you’re a short ass…” “I’m perfectly average for a woman thank you.” “Trust me baby girl, nothing about you is average.” he winked and she let out a snort.

“Charmer.” she grinned, turning back to the tree.

“Ok, you’re miles off…” he said, and she moved to her right “Gettin’ warmer…warmer…ok, yep, nearly there…” Fliss continued to search, and then something caught her eye. There was something shiny handing from the nose of her Doe ornament. She stepped forward slightly, and when she realised what it was her right hand flew to her mouth. Frank’s breath caught in his throat as she spun to face him, her eyes wide.

"You, me and Mary have been hanging out together since August last year now...” he said, clearing his throat slightly “How do you feel about hanging with us forever?" He watched, holding his breath as Fliss' chest heaved with emotion as she looked at him, those brown eyes he could happily stare at all day were full of tears, the hand which had flown to her mouth in surprise was now shaking as it slid to the spot beneath her throat, that dip in her neck that he could nuzzle at forever. "I'll hang with you for as long as you'll have me..." she whispered, taking a deep breath. "Is that a yes?" Frank inhaled sharply and a watery laugh burst through her tears. "Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes!" Frank's face split into a huge grin "shit..." he sputtered before she threw herself into his arms and he lifted her up easily, her legs wrapping around his waist as he held her close, kissing her neck. She pulled back and placed a kiss to his lips, long and short pecks being shared as she laughed and he laughed, the pair of them simply lost in the moment until eventually he set her down and with a shaking hand he reached out to retrieve the ring from where it was hanging. Taking her left hand in his, with a deep breath he slipped the diamond onto her finger.

Fliss looked at it, admiring the way the delicate band sat underneath her knuckle, the beautiful diamond twinkling in the lights of the tree.

"Oh Frankie...it’s gorgeous..." she whispered, before she looked at him, taking his face in both his hands and pulling him down for a deep kiss. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." He smiled, kissing her again before he pulled away, his hands linking behind her back.

"I err, got us some champagne." He smiled, "I know it was presumptive of me but figured we could have it tomorrow if you turned me down." Fliss looked up at him, blinking before she took a deep breath “First I need to get you…just wait here…” He released her from his hold and she turned and headed out of the room, Frank watched her go, blinking for a moment before he shrugged and headed to the fridge, the smile still plastered on his face. She said yes!

Not that he had doubted she would, not really, but there had always been that little bit of fright she may have done. But that was all gone now. As he popped the cork on the bottle he found himself thinking about how he would be doing that soon enough on his wedding day. He poured 2 glassed and headed into the living room with them wondering if maybe a late Autumn wedding next year would be nice, October perhaps when it started to cool off slightly. They could do the beach wedding she always wanted, hire a marquee... Lost in his thoughts completely he jumped a little when Fliss spoke his name and turned to look at her as she stood in front of him, the back of his thighs brushing against the sofa slightly. He noticed her hand was in her pocket, clutching something. Playfully he nodded towards it “I assume that’s not a spanner." He chuckled, referencing the joke they often shared and Fliss shook her head, biting her lip. "No it’s a bit bigger than that" With a shaky hand she pulled out a small, white stick of plastic and held it towards him. It took Frank a moment to understand what it was and as soon as he did his eyes widened and he looked at her, then it, then back again.

"You're...we're...no!." he stuttered, reaching out to take it from her. "I found out this morning." Fliss whispered, watching his reaction carefully "I suspected last week but thought it might all be down to stress and stuff but..." "How, I mean..." "I should have started a new pill packet when we went to Boston but I forgot to take it with me. I thought I'd be ok if I started as soon as I got back but..." "There's a baby in there?" Frank cut her off as he stumbled over his words, nodding to her stomach "Yeah" Fliss nodded. "You put it there." Frank's legs grew shaky and he dropped onto the sofa, staring down at the test in his hands.

2 blue lines. 2 blue lines that had just changed his world forever. "I'm sorry, I know this is sudden and I should have been more careful..." Fliss took a tentative step towards him and he reached out, his hands on either side of her hips, gently pulling her t-shirt up. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to her belly, his forehead resting just above her navel. "I'm gonna be a dad." he pulled back, his eyes watering. "Frankie, you already are." Fliss said, her own tears once more springing forth. "I know you hate it when I say that about Mary but it's true." He looked at her, a dazed smile split his face into two as he pulled her onto his lap, where she straddled him, and he kissed her, hard, leaving her slightly breathless before he rest his forehead against hers. "Fuck, Lissy." he whispered, his eyes closed "You're cooking a little person..." She spluttered a laugh, nodding, her forehead brushing his as she did. "Was it made in Boston...is that the right word?" He pulled back to look at her and she laughed, brushing her hand through his fluffy hair as his gently reached out to rest against her stomach. "Yeah and most likely." "It's a little Boston Bean" he grinned and she laughed again, pressing her lips to his. "You're ok with it then? I know it's probably not what you would have planned but..." "Ok? Of course I'm ok!" He smiled "I love you and the thought of us making a little person that's half me, half you...fuck, it's amazing." She smiled and nodded, her voice a whisper "I know..."

"There is one problem." Franks said, his arms wrapping tightly around her. "What?" "You just ruined Christmas forever...because nothing is ever gonna live up to this ever again."

****** Fliss, Frank and Mary’s adventure continues in RIDING ON

#riding high #frank adler #frank adler x ofc #frank adler x original female character #gifted #gifted fan fic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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bssaz97 · 4 years ago

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Meeting Xing and Citrine Part 3

A/N: Time for the third installment of a collaboration between @tanakaclinkbeard and myself. Features his OC kids (Xing Xiao-Long and Citrine Rose Arc) going to my AU and mine (Rowan and Summer) going to his. If you would like to see how they’re doing go check out his blog. Now on with the show!

- Xiao Long Residence -

Taiyang crouches down as he keeps the watering can in his hand, tending to his sunflower bed in front of his cabin home. The veteran Huntsman now grown old and even grew a nice beard during his free time, enjoying his recent retirement.

Ruby: Morning Dad!

Taiyang lifted up his head as he recognized that voice from anywhere, a warm smile graced his face as he got up to greet his daughter’s family.

Taiyang: Petal, what brings you byyyyyyy-

Taiyang loses his train of thought as both his daughters walk up the path but he sees two entirely new young children who were not the grandchildren he was expecting.

Yang: Hey Dad, we got two kiddos that we’d like to introduce to you

Citrine lets out a cheer and runs up and jumps into Tai's arm.

Citrine: Grandpappy!

Xing with his eyes still red from crying never left Yang's side and clutched her pants leg, giving Tai a wave and doesn't really look at anything but the ground.

Xing: Hi.

Taiyang: Um, Hi there. Ruby? Yang??

Citrine proceeded to climb up Taiyang like she did Ruby before.

Taiyang: Whoa! Haha, easy there, this old man ain’t what he used to be.

Citrine giggles and looks up and gives Tai a big hug.

Citrine: Missed you!

Tai was still a bit confused as to what was going on, but hugs the tiny girl in his arms nonetheless.

Taiyang: Girls, perhaps he can continue this conversation inside?

Ruby: That sounds fair.

____________________

Taiyang: So these two are from another universe where you are married to Jaune, you get pregnant and have a child, while both Rowan and Summer were sent to their universe.

Yang: Basically.

Taiyang: And this was done because...?

Ruby: We’re still not entirely sure.

Xing listened to the adults silently, never saying a word, but in his eyes there was a touch of sadness. While this man may look like his grandfather, it was clear to him that this was not the same grandfather he knew, and therefore did not immediately recognize him or Citrine as his own.

Yang: But they are two great kids and were happy to meet them!

Taiyang: Well while I’m happy to have more grandchildren, won’t their parents be worried sick if they find them missing?

Xing is still holding on to Yang while Citrine bounces around.

Citrine: What’s this? What’s that? Where’s Uncle Zwei? Is he back yet?

Taiyang: Uncle... Zwei?

Ruby: Yes their Uncle Zwei who’s definitely related to us and is your son, right Daddy?

Xing wordless takes out his scroll and hands it to Tai showing the same picture he showed Yang and Ruby earlier.

Taiyang: ....OH! I see, right of course, Zwei! Oh that son of mine. He’s ah... on a mission right now, just missed him.

Citrine: Awww! I wanted to see him. Does he have a different haircut? Does he have kids? Am I older than them?! Xing! Don't you wanna know?

Xing: ....Not really.

A bark is then heard coming from the kitchen.

Taiyang: .... Uh oh.

Xing looks up as well as Citrine who sequels

Citrine: Puppy?!

Xing once again does not move from where Yang was, still clutching on to her.

She gets ready to bolt where the barking is from, but Ruby gets up just in the nick of time.

Ruby: (‘SHOOT! I completely forgot about our Zwei being at Dad’s house!’) Um, Citrine, wait sweetie!

Citrine stops and gives her alt mother a pouty look.

Citrine: But puppy mama!

Ruby: Well you see Sweetie, Dad’s dog is a big old and needs to be handled delicately.

Just then the black and white corgi comes in from the kitchen, tongue out and moving about as youthful as ever, despite the few gray spots here and there.

Zwei: *Barks!*

Yang: Delicately sis? Really?

Citrine gasp and runs up to pick him up.

Citrine: Soooo cuteeeee!

Zwei (corgi) then starts to lick at her face.

Xing: Oh. That's what he looks like here.... that's weird.

Yang: Man you sure are smart kid. ‘Sniff’ So proud…

Xing blushes and hides his face.

Xing: Thank you.

Ruby: ‘sigh.’ Well since the dog is out of the bag- Shut it Yang! I should just tell her. I hope she’ll understand though… Sweetie can I talk to you a minute please?

Citrine: I can still hold him right? Pleaseeee?

Ruby: Of course.

Xing: ...My head hurts mom. Can I leave the room?

Yang: Hm? Oh sure thing Xing, you can rest in one of the rooms upstairs if you want.

Xing gets up and wordless goes up stairs as Citrine walks up to Ruby.

Ruby: Now sweetie, you know I love you right?

Citrine: Ye!

Ruby: Ok good, because I have something to confess.... I haven’t been entirely truthful to you.

Citrine: Huh?

Ruby: I may have told you a half truth because I didn’t want to confuse you or make you sad but now I realize that by hiding this truth from you that I’m also going to hurt you. So I’m very sorry that I had to keep it secret, but understand I did from a place of love. ‘Sigh’.... Citrine. That corgi you’re holding. That’s Zwei.

Citrine gives Ruby a blank stare for a few minutes

Citrine: .....Why does the puppy have the same name as uncle Zwei?

Ruby: No sweetie, what I’m saying is... This IS our Zwei. I don’t have a brother in my world. So... he doesn’t exist here.

Citrine looks even more confused.

Citrine: But.... you said he was on a mission.

Ruby: I know, I know what I said... I-I only said that because I didn’t want you to find this out right away. I wanted to spare you that pain and didn’t want to make you feel confused.

Citrine: ....I don't get it....

Yang: Citrine, you know how me and your mommy are not like us right? We’re different.

She nods, still petting the corgi in her arms.

Yang: Well it’s kinda like that, like how we’re different from your Mommy and Auntie Yang, our world is also different.

Citrine stared at them for a while before smiling widely.

Citrine: Okay! Can I show Xing the puppy?

Ruby: Sure thing sweetie.

She jumped up, it was clear to both of them that she didn't really understand, and wanted to move from her spot. She ran up stairs to where Xing was.

Taiyang: I’m still not entirely sure what is going on, but I do hope she and Xing are alright, this must all be very confusing for them.

Yang: Yeah... no kidding.

A scream was heard from upstairs as Citrine cried Yang's name out.

Citrine: Autine Yang! Star's noise is bleeding!

Yang: What?!

All three members of the Xiao-Long household quickly ran up the stairs and went to a room which had an open door.

Citrine was crying holding on to Xing, who was clutching his nose looking embarrassed at the wall. A Lot of blood was pouring from his noise, staining his clothes.

Citrine: Xing please don't die!

Xing looked at the adults awkwardly.

Xing: …Hi.

Yang: Oh gods Xing! Uh I mean, it’s ok, look we’ll get you clean up. Dad can you get some tissues, soap, and a clean shirt?

Taiyang: Sure thing.

Ruby: Oh Xing, what happened? How’d this happen?

Xing: Um... my powers are acting up.

Taiyang comes back with all the things .

Taiyang: I’m back, what'd I miss?

Yang: Powers? Xing what are you talking about?

Xing: Do- Do you guys have maledictus-eris here?

Ruby eyes widened just for a moment upon hearing those words.

Ruby: What did you just say...?

Xing: Auntie?

Yang: Oh gods.... Shoot, where’s Ren when you need him? Look sweetie, don’t worry, let’s just get you cleaned up real quick.

Xing: Uncle Ren and Zwei usually helps me... Da long doesnt like me....

Taiyang: Da Long?

Ruby: Look Xing, sweetie, I need you to listen to me carefully. How many times has your nose been bleeding like this?

Xing: Like as of today?

Ruby: As far as you can remember.

Xing: Um. Since I was 5.

Ruby: ....We need to get him to Anima.

Yang: Wait now?

Ruby: Yes now Yang. {turns to Citrine} Sweetie, want to go see Auntie Nora and Uncle Ren?

Taiyang: Wait can someone explain what’s going on?

Yang: Ruby he can’t travel like this.

Ruby: I know! I just- I’m trying to think.

Citrine cheers and then goes quiet and gets nervous.

Citrine: Um... is Valerie there?

Ruby/Yang: ....ah crud.

Xing: Valerie isn't gonna be there Citrine. She is back at home.

Citrine: .....

Xing: I can survive the trip mom.

Yang: Are you sure? You don’t need to rest or anything?

Xing: I just want Da long to leave me alone.... I'm... I'm not weak!

Yang: ....Ok then, then let’s go to Anima. Lucky for us, I know a quick way to get there.

Xing nods and lays back on bed.

Yang leaves the room briefly and pulls out her scroll and dials a number.

Yang: Hey it’s me. Listen I know it’s short notice, but... I need a favor. Can you get us to Anima today?

-Fin-

#rwby #ruby rose #yang xiao long #rwby xing xiao long #xing xiao long #citrine arc #citrine rose #citrine arcrose #rwby taiyang xiao long #rwby taiyang #collab #tanakaclinkbeard #rwby lancaster #gauntlet and greaves #rwby gauntlet and greaves #lancaster #rwby ruby x jaune #ruby x jaune

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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S4 Ep40: Fixing Dartz By Not Actually Fixing Dartz

Yo Merry Christmas, I’m quarantined as hell, so I’m just streaming and playing video games until my problems get vaccinated away.

So lets just write about Yugioh because hell a lot didn’t go as planned this year (can you believe my 2020 goal for this blog was to finish ALL OF YUGIOH?) but although my goals were halved and quartered--With this blog I don’t freakin care anymore, and somehow...that’s how it’s one of the few creative bastions I have left standing.

Wild.

I’m so done with the internet, I’m not even updating twitter right now.

But hell yes, lets update the Yugioh blog.

So onward, with the last episode of this season. We last left off with Yami getting devoured by a hate tornado which is just...a lot of 2020 energy. This whole season, in a nutshell is just...2020 energy, honestly. And this tornado is just twitter. It’s just twitter incarnated.

Rather than try to save himself and consequently fix his ghost problem, Yugi has decided to keep himself haunted by fixing Pharaoh’s inner emotional problems. Really is something, isn’t it? To do low key therapy for the ghost that basically...put you in therapy? Yugi can help fix his problems but like...he’s still a mess of problems because of it. Now Yugi shouldn’t walk away, of course, that’s effed up, but it is a little irony there.

Pharaoh, of course, has decided to submit to the hate tornado, and sees it as a manifestation of his own anger and bad vibes.

Isn’t that’s the real problem we have when we have to confront the feelings we don’t want to confront? Where we tend to feel guilt and hate for being upset, which is just sort of a thing humans naturally tend to do--instead of actually working on controlling what you do with those feelings so that way we stop lashing out and setting everyone on fire in the burger restaurant?

Like Pharaoh should be learning to count to 10, not trying to just remove his anger. This has sort of been his problem for a while--he assumes he can just...delete his rage. That’s not a thing. You can’t do that unless you have very specific medication through a doctor, and that’s why he keeps failing at it.

And this goes back to S1 when he “fixed” Kaiba and like nothing really happened. Pharaoh’s decided to wipe himself and like...it’s up to your own interpretation but like...in my book that Pharaoh brand clean cycle does freakin nothing. It gets reversed like constantly.

(read more under the cut)

So Yugi decides to hit up Plan B, which is, honestly? Not a great message. But it’s the anime trope that we keep going back to because it’s the catch-all to make any anime protagonist into the good guy.

Like...

...

.......Yeah I’m gonna talk about it.

this is a trope that is so common it’s sort of ubiquitous with the genre. You gotta have the protagonist give up on their own strength, and be lifted up by their pals at the very last second--it’s like the anime hero’s journey.

But I really don’t like it. I don’t like the power of freindship. I’ll say it.

Because there’s some things you have to handle on your own. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have your main character show strength and show character development by doing things by themselves at the last minute. We already know that Pharaoh’s a good pal and believes in his friends--but like...does he believe in himself?

I can’t tell you if he does by how this episode goes, that’s for sure.

The whole point of this tornado is to see Yami discover his own strength and overcome his weaknesses...and yet he still relies on that good ol chestnut, friend powers.

Like last episode I feel like they did this already and it was way better--other people offered their help willingly, then Pharaoh got to have a big ol fight solo in the clouds to prove he was strong on his own as well. We finished the whole season last episode, so what are we accomplishing now other than a last minute secret boss fight?

Why would Yami doubt himself now? It’s weird. Yugi’s right to have mentioned “yo didn’t we figure this all out in desert hell???” because...we did. Yami is retreading old territory.

And that’s a thing that happens when you write, PS, when Yugi was saying “we already did this!” Yugi was reminding the writers of the show “we did this already. Like guys. We did this.” and sometimes when you’re writing, your characters will do that to you, and you should always be paying attention to cues like that.

Anyway, he vanquishes the hate tornado by thinking fondly of all of his buddies, and then the storm that should have been over the Atlantic Ocean, as according to the dub, parted in the sky above California.

GEOGRAPHY, the secret final boss of this season of Yugioh. And they failed. In a big way.

Yugi holds out his hands in real life, and pretends to hold a ghost that isn’t there. Now I want all of you to do this position IRL. Like that. OK. It looks like Yugi is holding onto a pair of ghost boobies.

Meanwhile, actual and very literal ghosts with very real bodies show up and start picking up Dartz and like...

...The ending of Dartz’ storyline is a TRIP! Lets just get into it!

This cursed dog. I can’t stand how this dog is drawn. I hate it so much that I actually love it, and if I saw this in a thrift store I would impulse buy it and hang it over my fireplace mantle in a golden gilded frame.

AHHH????

WHAT????

He electrocuted you with LIGHTNING! He killed your...everyone! He killed EVERYONE!

Also girl, how are you HERE? Like Physically??? I saw you die! TWICE!!

Yugioh is on SOMETHING with this one, and I think that “something” is called “we weren’t allowed to give you a PG-13 sad ending.”

This is just the freakin weirdest thing. We have a character who is worse than Darth Vadar, and this show has pulled so many dark things in it’s history, but it just...

...it can’t punish Dartz at all, and I don’t know what they were thinking.

They have been poetic before--Pegasus got his eyeball gruesomely ripped straight out of his face, nearly got murdered by Bakura, and was not able to resurrect his wife. Noah hella died, had to give up his plan to rule the world and be a real boy, and had to murder his own Dad even, the moment he finally made a bond with his brothers. Marik had to lose all control of his body, live helplessly inside Tea’s bod for an entire season and accept the fact that he murdered his Dad and now has to live on without any of the magic that ever made him powerful in a broken world and a broken family he will never understand.

Dartz though?

If he does get some sort of poetic retribution, it will be off-screen because we don’t have time for it.

And that’s kind of a bummer because this is usually something Yugioh is kinda good at! I enjoy when this show goes dark, this is a great opportunity to do it...and they didn’t.

It was just the wettest fart Yugioh has ever played on me.

Just the wettest. Nice knowing you, Dartz. Glad you were here to murder everyone on Earth and then totes get away with it because we’ll just pretend like the Orichalcos was a totally different person--although it’s not. Because Yami JUST told us that it doesn’t work that way. Yami JUST told us that the Orichalcos was using his own pain and his own hate against him.

It’s not a separate person, it’s the same!

And to suggest that Yami vanquishing that hate tornado somehow cured Dartz of all his sins, is some upper level Jesus stuff that I don’t think this show would normally want to tread on. Straight up. Yami is a pretty poor stand in for Jesus Christ, and I feel I can straight up say that because it’s Christmas.

...what HAPPENED in the writing room with this one? Did they just run out of episodes? There are less episodes this seasons than other seasons have been.

Was it edited for the English version? Because I...kind of doubt they could edit that much to make it that drastically different.

I’m just boggled. Like usually I’m of the opinion to let the writers do whatever they do because I do not know what was going on behind the scenes, and I’m still of the opinion that they did the best of what they could do with the resources they were given.

BUT, this episode just feels...hella sus. I feel like they just had to make an ending. Any ending. Get an ending on there and finish the season before the power goes out and then run away with whatever paycheck you get (because in entertainment--you might not get one).

Seto and Joey made it completely back to the KaibaCopter before Tea was like “I mean it’s been 15 minutes, guys, you really didn’t hear him behind you? You really lost his tiny pitter patter of his little shoes? The little shoes that make a little tinkly noise like a kitty cat’s collar? A little kitty cat collar that he also wears around his neck? His neck that has a golden pyramid held by a tow chain that makes a little clanky clank when it hits his two belts covered in metal rivets that makes a little singsong clippity cloppity noise every time he so much as breathes? He’s a walking talking Bell of Notre Dame, you lost him?”

and Seto was like “Oh damn it, I know he’s the same size as Mokuba, and so I should be really good at not losing this kid but also have you noticed how many times I’ve lost Mokuba???”

Joey just looked into the distant tomb hut and said “......You’re kidding me.” and decided to immediately run back because Joey Wheeler knows what’s up.

Had Joey Wheeler actually made it back to Atlantis, he would have seen Dartz and his entire family hugging it out and would have immediately socked the guy straight in the dick and it would have been a great way to finally give Dartz just one single consequence for murdering everyone on Earth but you know, I did not write this episode.

I’m really glad that in the same episode that Yami called upon the powers of friendship, his friends hella ditched him to vanquish in a watery grave.

This is wild!

Seto’s words were “Good riddance” as the island went down, and you could not tell if he was talking about the island or about Yugi.

That and Kaiba Really Hates Islands. LOVES watching an island go up in smoke (or underwater, in this case). Loves nothing more.

Seto, your powers of friendship were just used to save the world.

Apparently the standard for friendship power is...not much. But they did just make Yami, of all people, do a literal Jesus in Gethsemane so...the bar for morality is just not very high in this anime.

Did the Great Leviathan stitch Weevil Underwood’s body back together or something? This is...

...Yo Weevil are you immortal now? Are you the big bad in S5 that comes out of nowhere and kick’s Bakura’s ass back to the Shadow Realm like Marik in S2? Because I’ll accept that.

I won’t like it, but I’ll accept that.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

look at those toddler shoes worn by a full adult! Weevil Underwood is so over-designed for a super low-level miniboss and I low key love that they love Weevil Underwood this freakin much.

Of all people, Weevil Freakin Underwood.

Listen, listen, listen.

If Mikey was still alive, he’d be older.

He’d have been older in that Leviathan tummy, he’d be Alister’s age but he’s not. He’s uh...

Yo show that got real dark. Show this is what you should have done to Dartz. I love this sort of dark ending for a rude asshole who is going to try to put his family back together although it’s completely impossible--this would have been a good Dartz ending. But...whatever. It’s fine.

We’ll...let Dartz have his family back, it’s fine.

Meanwhile, in the first actual picture of California that really feels like California, Valon immediately accepts the fact that Mai left him.

This is also a great dark ending for Valon. To accept that the people in your life have moved on and that you, too, must move on, even if it’s alone. This would have been an excellent ending for Dartz.

And then Mai just bounces. She does not seek out Joey Wheeler, because she’s like “I have to fix some stuff, I have some serious problems, and it’s going to take a really long time before I can get over my toxic past.” and just freakin leaves us. Sorry, anyone who was hoping Joey and Mai would smooch at any point, it’s uh...it’s not legal yet.

And TBH I don’t even know if Valon is legal either, and the show decided to not reveal that to us, or allow them to smooch.

And as for Raphael? Uh...

They didn’t bother, I think. I didn’t cap it, at least. But we did get at least one person washed up on a beach.

It would be Kuribo.

I talk about 2020 energy a lot in this season but like...wild 2020 energy here, to be so freakin chill and can I say--delighted--to be stranded on an abandoned island.

The show does not elaborate any more on if the cards are dead or alive, or if the games we are playing are with actual people forced to play these horrible games for us. It’s best that they don’t tell us. Just like Mr Mime. No one wants to know.

Mr Mime as in the Pokemon Mr Mime, PS, I just realized that there is a mime in this universe and he’s just...I don’t really want to know about that guy, either. All mimes honestly, I don’t want to know anything at all about all mimes.

Luckily, for Yugi, Kaiba didn’t fly very far from this island, and so we don’t have to have some sort of weird season cliffhanger where we guess how long Yugi can live off of coconuts (2 hours. he would last 2 hours on this island)

Although it would be such a cliffhanger to wonder what Yugi’s hair would look like after that. the same, right? Like it’s the same amount of grease and nasty stuff? He’d just have his roots growing out?

And there they go--goodbye Dues Ex Machina Cards. Either the show can’t keep you on board because you’re hella broken, or the three dragon warriors died, or retired, or whatever it is when a card is like “I’m done with humanity, please leave me alone and never call me again.”

Did Seto low key just break up with his side piece just now? Tragic.

Remember that time that Yugi was so bouyant he was armpits out of the water in S2? It’s crazy how bouyant Yugi Muto is. Like if someone did one of those anime cross-sections of his anatomy, he needs like 3 or 4 duck shaped pool floaties in there.

Now, full disclosure, I have written the ending to this post 3 times because tumblr keeps deleting this post out of my drafts folder (I shouldn’t be writing this in my drafts folder, being real, it’s been really buggy lately, and I’m gonna have to make a different solution to this) So I’m just...

...gonna end on this note. This exciting note that Bakura is next. Finally, Bakura (JK of course, because apparently Bakura doesn’t show up for half the season. Bro told me this and offered that we should skip that filler and of course I told him that is not the point of this blog and we will be watching all of that gruesome filler piece by piece. Because for someone, out there--that filler is their favorite episode. I don’t know who you are--but get ready for filler.)

Now Yami could just...call up Bakura at any point at his house and make an appointment to end the world...but maybe S5 will go a different direction? We shall see.

Anyway, that’s it for this Season! Thanks all for sticking with us when I just...didn’t have an upload schedule for this entire year. It’s been a YEAR. But, I’m hoping for good things in the future, and that things will adjust back to a normal upload schedule and that...hopefully tumblr won’t die or something weird like that.

I’m gonna finish the Full Metal alchemist Live Action movie next (we’re like halfway through) and then after that--onward to to S5! See y’all there!

Stay safe!

(and here’s the link to read these in chrono order if you’re new here:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#ygo #yugioh #Yu-Gi-Oh #yugi muto #yami muto #joey wheeler #tea gardner #seto kaiba #tristan taylor #mokuba kaiba #alister #valon #Mai Valentine #Weevil underwood #Dartz #Rex Raptor #S4 #Ep40 #Yo I cannot believe these ruthless writers just let Dartz off the hook wowowow

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hotchley · 4 years ago

Text

because no is a complete sentence.

hi! so @m0rcia is amazing and has been talking about a spencer hotchner au, which sounds like a really cool thing. it also sounds very chaotic given that diana is still his mother, which would lead to a lot of different parenting techniques. however, she was an absolute angel that answered my asks, which kinda? maybe? hopefuly got me out of my writer’s block. so even though the spencer hotchner au isn’t a complete fic yet, i wrote a really short drabble about it. because it’s amazing. like seriously, you need to see the posts about it.

@m0rcia: thank you. i hope this is okay- i wanted to surprise you because i only followed you recently but your blog always makes me laugh and it’s just really nice okay? and you’re also really nice. right i’ll stop ranting.

this is basically spencer learning that he never needs to justify himself after saying the word no. to anyone. regardless of who they are.

trigger warnings: references to child abuse

Spencer Hotchner is four years and three months old when he first learns that the word “no” is a full sentence.

His mother had often taught him about linguistics, and the way that sentences were formed in different languages. She taught him lots of different words- some of them his dad thought were not appropriate for him to be saying. Why, he didn’t know, because adults said those words all the time with no repercussions.

His dad struggled with the explanation. Spencer still doesn’t understand, but what he does know is that when he goes to stay with his mom, he can say what he wants, so long as he isn’t rude or disrespectful to anyone else around. Dad is more traditional- something to do with his southern upbringing- and he seems a bit different when he uses the so-called bad words. Sometimes they slip out.

But his dad doesn’t shout at him when he uses them. He just takes a deep breath and explains why he doesn’t like Spencer using them. Spencer starts to understand that his dad doesn’t like hearing them, but his mother thinks it’s okay. It’s still a bit confusing for him, but he thinks he grasps it.

Mom doesn’t have a lot of friends that want to touch him. He likes that, because there are only some people who he doesn’t mind touching him. Mom is the first person on that list. She always avoids the places that make him feel weird- his stomach and the back of his neck. Dad is also allowed to hug him. Most nights, he can’t sleep without his dad holding him close. He knows that the two of them are safe people, that’s why he likes them. And Dad is always gentle with him, never holding him too tightly.

Well, he did one time. They were in the shop and it was busy and all the people were so much bigger than Spencer. He found it overwhelming and started crying. Dad dropped the shopping right there in the aisle and took him to the toilets until he was able to explain through their hand signals what it was upsetting him: the lights, the tightness of Hotch’s touch and all the people.

After that, his Dad started taking one day a week as a work from home day. On those days, they would do their grocery shopping in the morning, when it was quiet and less colourful, and then Spencer would spend the afternoon with his Mom whilst Hotch did his work.

So Spencer had never really felt uncomfortable with touch. There were certain fabrics that he hated, but neither parent ever made him wear them. Mom let him wear whatever he wanted. Dad wanted him to change out of his pyjamas in the mornings when it was a weekday, but on weekends, they both spent their time in their pyjamas. It was really nice.

Dad’s family were less so. His dad didn’t have a dad anymore, nor did he like talking about him. Mom said that Dad’s dad was dead, which meant he no longer existed on this planet. Mom told him all sorts of theories about what happened to people after they died, but Dad said the conversation made him feel “icky” so they didn’t speak about it much.

But Dad took him to meet his family one weekend. Or the family he had left. Spencer knew all of their names. There was his Uncle Sean, his grandmother, two grand-aunts and three granduncles. One of his cousins was going to be there too, but they were much older than him.

When Dad rang the doorbell, he was doing the thing with his hand. Spencer had learnt he did that when he had sick feeling in his stomach that people described as butterflies.

“Why are you nervous?” he asked, staring up with wide eyes.

“I don’t really get on with most of my family. But you might like them, and you have a right to know who they are, which is why we’re here,” Dad answered.

“If it makes you feel icky then why did you do it?”

Dad did not answer. Spencer wondered if it was an impolite question. In reality, Aaron was trying to find the words. No had never been a good word in his house. At best, it meant he was being a difficult child, refusing to eat their vegetables. But most of the time it meant his father was refusing to have mercy or listen to him.

The door was opened before he could formulate an answer that wouldn’t terrify his son.

“Aaron! I was wondering when you would get here!” his mother said, kissing him on the forehead. Aaron didn’t let go of Spencer as he entered, remembering to slip his shoes off and put them to one side.

“Well, I’m here now, so,” he said.

Spencer shifted so he was slightly hidden.

“Is this Spencer? Hello, I’m your dad’s mommy, but you can call me whatever you’re most comfortable with. I prefer Nanny, it makes me feel less old and more loved. I have no idea what it is about it, it just does.”

“Mom, we talked about this. Please don’t overwhelm him,” Aaron said, already exasperated.

“Oh I am so sorry. Sean! Your brother is here!” she yelled.

Sean came rushing down the stairs. “Hey Aaron. Hi Spencer, I’m Sean, Aaron’s brother.”

Spencer gave him a shy wave. He wasn’t sure he wanted any of these people hugging him. But it was okay, because his dad understood that and kept them distracted to the point that they didn’t even realise.

The problem came when they were leaving. His dad had gone to get both of their coats, and Spencer was alone in the living room. Dad’s relatives were looking at him strangely as he was mesmerised by the art on the walls. He wondered if his Mom knew where it came from, and what it meant. The colours were muted, but pretty to look at.

“We’ll be off then,” Aaron said, once Spencer was all zipped up.

One of the grand aunts held her arms out. Spencer looked at his dad, who was engaged in conversation with his brother. He didn’t know what the woman expected her to do, so he stood there, watching her. Her face had an expression that he didn’t recognise on it.

Before he could register what she was doing her arms were wrapped around him, in a hug, that he did not want.

He let out a shout and Dad turned around.

“Spencer?” he said, trying to work out what was going on.

Spencer was squirming, trying to get away, but the woman just tightened her grip as he frantically shook his head, not knowing what he was supposed to say. He didn’t like the smell of her perfume, or the scratchy material of her dress. He wasn’t a baby anymore, but he could feel tears forming in his eyes.

And then suddenly he could breathe again. Dad had pulled him away. He buried his head in the soft material of his coat. It was nice and familiar and safe.

“Did he say you could hug him?” Aaron asked, his voice cold.

“I’m his family member, he should just do it,” she snapped.

Aaron swallowed. He wasn’t going to make the same mistakes his own family had. He couldn’t. “No, he shouldn’t. If he doesn’t want you hugging him, then you don’t. Understood? Mother, I’ll see you soon, hopefully. Spencer, we’re going home.”

Spencer nodded. He didn’t speak the whole journey home.

“How are you feeling now?” Dad asked, when they returned.

Spencer shrugged. “I didn’t like her hugging me.”

“That’s okay. When you don’t want somebody doing something, you say no. Okay? That’s all you have to say. No is a complete sentence. You don’t need to explain yourself. Ever. To anyone. Even to me. If you don’t want me to hug you, I won’t. And if that person makes you feel bad then they’re silly. Do you understand me?”

“Yes Dad.”

“And if they don’t stop, you hit them as hard as you can, and then you tell me. Or your Mom. Whichever one of us you see first.”

Spencer nodded. No was an interesting sentence. He’d have to ask his Mom about it. She then said it was one of the most important words a child could learn, and she was glad that his dad had taught him how to use it. They even practiced using it. It was much more fun to say: no I do not want to hear your opinions on Moby Dick again than it was to say: no I do not want a lollipop- which is what dad had made him say.

He was six years old when his dad first saw him use it.

They were in the playground. Dad was talking to Haley Brooks, who was there for her nephew. His Dad was not very good at disguising his attraction to her. Spencer thought it was a bit silly that he didn’t just say he was interested in her. He’d told his mom about what he thought was going to happen. She’d listened attentively and eventually deemed this Haley a good person.

Spencer had gotten bored and wondered over to some of the other kids, who were also waiting for their parents to finish their conversations. He was actually taller than one of them, but the rest were slightly bigger than him. They were playing a more gentle game of tag. Although he’d never met any of them, they quickly let him join the game.

When it was over, because one of them had to go, they asked to hug everyone. All the other children agreed like it was nothing.

Spencer didn’t want to hug him. But he didn’t want it to be like the other time, with Dad’s aunt. He hesitated and tried to see where his dad was. Dad had one eye on him and the other on Haley, ready to step in if he was needed.

No was a complete sentence. It always had been, and it always would be.

So when the little boy turned to him and asked if he could hug him, Spencer knew what to say.

“No,” he said.

The boy looked a little saddened, but shrugged and said bye to him anyways, before going over to his mom and leaving. Spencer used that moment to go back to his dad, who was done talking to Miss Brooks and smiled at him.

“Hey buddy. How was your little game?”

“It was nice. The boy wanted to hug me, but I didn’t want that to happen, so I told him no. And he just said okay and goodbye.”

Aaron smiled, holding his hand out in case his son wanted to hold it during their walk home. “Well done buddy. I know it can be a bit difficult to say it sometimes, but you did good. Shall we go home now?”

Spencer nodded. “Goodbye Miss Brooks.”

“Goodbye Spencer. See you soon Aaron.”

Aaron blushed and turned away, leading his son out of the school. His son that had no problem taking control of his own body or making his needs and wants known. He smiled to himself. Him and Diana may have not agreed on a lot of things, but this? This he was going to tell her all about. Because this was both of them.

Aaron Hotchner may not have grown up knowing that no was okay.

But Spencer Hotchner never had any problems using the word. Because in the Hotchner household, and everywhere else they went, regardless of who or where it was, no was a complete sentence. As it should be everywhere.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #spencer hotchner #au #diana reid #spencer reid #reid #kid!spencer #kid!reid #aaron hotchner #hotch #aaron hotch hotchner #tw child abuse #i don't really know if this is any good #however #it is something #which is more than i've done recently #also it's almost 11:25 so i haven't proofread it at all

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