#oh also for your question about My blog. i kind of just post whatever so idk if it’s a good place to start haha

[ktownshizzle]

Friends & Fools | One-Shot

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female Reader

Summary: You and Yoongi have always been just friends—inseparable since childhood, roommates in the city, partners in navigating life’s chaos. At your high school reunion, the questions start: Are you two finally together? Uh, no. But as the night goes on, and Yoongi looks at you like that, hmm—has everyone else seen something you’ve been too scared to admit?

Genre: Fluff, Suggestive, non-idol!au, reunion!au, best friends & roommates to lovers, grumpy x grumpy, when reader is more yoongi than yoongi himself

Warnings: cursing, smoking cigarettes, kissing, allusion to sex

Word count: 2.8k

Posting date: November 26, 2024

Notes: This is a one-shot to celebrate my 500 followers milestone for the blog! Just a cute little something as a thank you making this writer happy. The story was inspired by two asks: 1) lovely anon who wanted to talk about Yoongi at Jimmy Fallon; 2) kookiewithluv who sent me the softest, smiliest, fluffiest d-day Yoongi photos that I just couldn’t help myself.

Enjoy, my lovelies~ 💕

Masterlist

MIN YOONGI 101 is a course you could’ve taught in school. It’s a subject matter you’ve mastered somewhere between the sandbox (when he was the kid hoarding plastic shovels in the playground) and the shoebox (the over-priced apartment that you both decided to rent together after uni).

It’s ‘cause you’ve always been good at watching him. You’ve picked up all his visual cues, his weird quirks, his tells.

Tonight is no different. From across the room, in the too-bright glare of your high school gym’s rented stage lights, you catch the tell-tale pinch of his brow, the mindless nodding that means he’s enduring yet another overly enthusiastic former classmate. Someone’s laughing too loud in his face, and he responds the same way he always does—with a small, polite smile and a glance at his drink like it’s his lifeline.

You’d know that look anywhere.

Yoongi catches your eye then, like he can feel your energy slicing through the crowd, and his lips twitch. The faintest ghost of a smirk, the kind he reserves just for you. He raises his glass, and you do the same from across the room. A silent message of we're too fucking sober to be in this joint.  He holds your gaze and you watch as he inadvertently inserts the straw up one nostril, giggling because that wouldn’t be the first time. He shakes his head and puts it back in his mouth for a sip.

It’s comforting, really. That tether between you and Yoongi.

Even if the two of you are apparently the only ones here who don’t see what everyone else does.

You are standing by the endlessly classy boxed wine on the buffet table, watching your old classmates get progressively tipsier under dim lighting. Yoongi stands next to you, unabashedly drinking whiskey straight from his flask. He looks real sharp in a tailored blazer, with a casual t-shirt underneath, mumbling earlier that day how he cannot be arsed to fiddle with a necktie, even though it’s always you who has been fixing it for job interviews, funerals, formal occasions etc. for him for the past years. Secretly you think he knew that wearing that t-shirt actually just made him look effortlessly cool.

Someone from across the room waves, and you recognize it to be Hyorin, your former lab partner who was also a cheerleader or something, making her way toward you. “Oh my God, you two!” she exclaims, beaming. “You finally got together, huh?”

Yoongi chokes on his drink, and you nearly drop your solo.

“Nooo,” Yoongi drawls, dragging the word out with a mix of disbelief and amusement.

Hyorin frowns, tilting her head. “Wait. You’re not a couple?”

You both shake your heads so emphatically it looked rehearsed. 

“Nope,” you say, popping the P.

“Not even fucking?”

The audacity of this chick, though?

“Not even close,” Yoongi answers, but his voice sounded oddly tight. 

Hyorin gives you both a skeptical once-over before laughing. “Okay, sure. Whatever you guys say.” She leaves, shaking her head like you’ve just told her the earth is flat, didn’t you know that?

They’re really starting to piss you off, ngl.

“Okay, but seriously,” Jihyo, who was in the band with you and one of the few people you’ve kept some form of contact with (hence can tolerate), hisses. “You’re really still not together?”

It was your turn to choke on your drink. “Hajimaaa! Why does everyone keep asking me that? Y’all wanna shoot your shot with Yoongi, go! I don’t give a fuck.”

Jihyo gives you a look like you’re the most oblivious person on earth. “This is exactly why I think you’re into him. Not everyone wants to date him, girl. We’re just curious about you two.”

“I—fuck you, actually. Give me one good reason why you think we’re a… thing.”

“Because you and Yoongi have been attached at the hip since we were all kids? Because you practically morphed into the same person? Because he’s literally looked at you the same way since he had that awful mushroom cut in fourth grade?”

“It wasn’t a mushroom cut. It was…” You cringe. “Yeah, it was a mushroom cut.”

You both giggle, then she asks, swirling the remains of her wine. “But seriously. Everyone thought you finally figured it out. You two moved in together a couple of months ago, no?”

“Yeah, because rent’s insane, I hate people, and he hates people, so we’re perfect roommates.”

Jihyo raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Mmhmm. Roommates. Sure.”

You roll your eyes, but the words stick with you as the night drags on, looping in your head as more classmates approach with the same comments. It’s exhausting. You’re about to grab your coat and drag Yoongi out of here when you feel a familiar figure at your side.

“You okay?” Yoongi asks, voice low, his shoulder brushing yours. 

“I’m fine,” you sigh. “Just… everyone keeps asking why we’re not dating.”

Yoongi scoffs, his tongue clicking against his teeth. “What’d you tell ‘em?”

“The truth.”

He smirks again, but it’s sharper this time, laced with something you can’t quite name. “And what’s that?”

“That you’re a chronically unavailable workaholic and are too emotionally constipated to be anyone’s boyfriend.”

He huffs a laugh, shoulders bobbing. “Ouch,” he says, but his eyes are soft, the way they get when he looks at you sometimes, warm and wistful.

You look away first, clearing your throat, suddenly remembering what Jihyo said about how he looks at you. “Well, you’re not exactly ideal boyfriend material.”

Yoongi shrugs, mouth forming a straight line. “Fair.”

Anyway, you know you’re no dream girl, either. He is just way too soft for you to say it to your face.

Between the two of you, your combined dating history looks like a collection of UN flags, except they’re all red. 

Him with his too-whiny, needy bitches, who have far too high expectations of him and he is just not the guy to validate their feelings 24 fucking 7. He has things to do (produce) and places to be (his studio).

And you, with your love bombers and commitment-phobes that have got you questioning if there’s something wrong with you because they always lose interest down the line. (Yoongi says they're all assholes btw, and you are inclined to believe him, despite lingering self-doubt.)

You always joked that no one else understood either of you the way you understood each other.

But aren’t jokes half-meant?

By the time the reunion starts winding down, you’re tipsy enough that the edges of the night feel soft and fuzzy. You’re outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building with Yoongi, his jacket draped over your shoulders because he’s simply gentlemanly like that. Raised well by his eomma who you equally adore.

“You didn’t have to stay this long,” he says, lighting a cigarette.

You watch the glow of it as he inhales, the faint tremble of his fingers in the cold. “Neither did you.”

He shrugs, exhaling a thin ribbon of smoke. “I wasn’t gonna let you suffer alone.”

Something warm pools in your chest. “Thanks. And, same.”

The quiet stretches between you, the kind of comfortable silence only Yoongi can manage. It’s strange how natural it feels, just existing with him like this. Like it’s enough.

You gesture to the stick, then he slowly brings it to your lips.

You exhale the smoke as you tilt your head back to look at the stars—or what few stars there are on this cloudy night—and ask the question that’s been sitting heavy on your tongue all night.

“Why do you think everyone assumes we’re together?”

Yoongi doesn’t answer right away, but you can feel the heaviness of his gaze on you like it’s settling on your shoulders.

“I dunno,” he says eventually, voice quiet. “Maybe because we act like we are.”

Hol’ up. “What do you mean?”

He takes another drag of his cigarette, exhaling slow. “I mean… we know each other better than anyone else. We live together. Spend all our time together. Maybe they think it just makes sense.”

Your heart stutters. “Does it?”

Yoongi stills, blinks like he’s trying to suss out where you’re going with this. “What’s up with you?”

“I don’t know,” you admit, your voice teeny-tiny. “Just… do you ever think maybe we’ve been—”

“Idiots?” he cuts in, a wry smile tugging at his lips.

You laugh, but it’s shaky. “Yeah. That.”

Yoongi looks at you then, really looks at you, and you feel like the ground might give out beneath you. There’s something in his expression, something raw and vulnerable and scared. Like he’s standing on the edge of something, just waiting for you to push him over.

“Sometimes,” he says finally, his voice rough.

It’s not an admission, not exactly, but it’s enough to make your pulse race.

“Yoongi,” you start, but the words catch in your throat.

He snuffs the cigarette against the wall and tosses it towards the can. Then, he steps closer, close enough that you can see the faint moles on his face, the curve of his lashes as he blinks down at you.

“You wanna go home?” he asks, his voice softer now, almost hesitant.

You know what he’s really asking.

You say yes.

The walk to the subway station is quiet. Tense.

The back of his hand brushes yours as you walk along the sidewalk, and neither of you moves away.

The subway ride back to your apartment is also quiet. Tense.

Yoongi doesn’t say much, but his knee brushes yours every time the train sways, and neither of you moves away. 

By the time you’re back in your apartment, your brain is mushy and your head feels like it’s about to explode as you keep rewinding and replaying the events of the night, every classmate that alluded to your relationship, his lingering glance, sharing the cigarette, every half-formed word between you... Fuck.

Yoongi kicks off his shoes by the door, pushing it under the rack. You stand there awkwardly, the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on you.

“Tea?” he asks, already moving toward the kitchen.

“No.” Your voice comes out too abrupt, too sharp, and he freezes.

He turns slowly, eyes searching yours. “You ok?”

“No.” You take a deep breath, your heart pounding. “I think we’ve been avoiding this for a long time.”

Yoongi blinks, but you know he is just pretending not to understand what you meant. “Avoiding what?”

“This,” you say, gesturing between you. “Us.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then— “Mm.”

Mm. That’s all he says, like you haven’t just dropped a bomb in the middle of your tiny living room.

“Yoongi,” you say, stepping closer. “Do you—”

“Yeah,” he interrupts, nodding as he bites down on his lower lip. “I do.”

The air shifts between you, and suddenly you’re not sure who moves first, but then his warm hands are on your face and your fingers are tangled in his shirt and his mouth is on yours, and—

Oh.

Damn.

His lips are softer than you imagined—not that you spent countless late nights pining, but if you had, this would surpass every hypothetical. He kisses like he does everything else: deliberate, unhurried, sure. His hands slide down from your face to rest on your waist.

The sigh that slips from your lips is involuntary, but it’s enough for him to push further. His tongue brushes against your bottom lip, coaxing you open, and when he deepens the kiss, tasting you, it uncoils the knot that’s been tight in your belly all night. Yoongi tastes faintly like whiskey, like cigarettes, and something else so distinctly him and you’re endlessly intoxicated.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, nails grazing the nape of his neck, and the low, guttural noise he makes in response sends a shockwave through you. Heat settles in your core, spreading with an intensity that takes you by surprise. Because omg–this is not some hot stranger you met at a bar. This is your goddamn best friend, whose hand is now dangerously encroaching on the swell of your ass.

You hadn’t expected this—not the kiss, not the pleasure, not the way he makes you feel like you’re in some version of paradise.

You’re melting with every curl of his tongue, every shift in the way his lips move against yours. It’s the kind of intimacy that makes the rest of the world fall away, until the only thing you’re aware of is the feel of him—his warmth, his certainty, the way he kisses like he already knows this is how it should’ve been in the first place–a sureness you hadn’t expected. 

It’s not just passion—it’s belonging, the sense that every piece of you slots perfectly into place with him. Like the years of laughter, arguments, and everything in between have all been leading here. His hands now circling your waist feel steady, like they’ve always known where to hold you even though this is the very first time. 

And in that moment, kissing Yoongi feels like coming home—warm, certain, complete. A place you hadn’t known you were searching for, because you’ve always been with him, and now you can’t imagine ever leaving.

When you finally pull away, his lips are swollen, and his eyes are a bit moist, blinking blankly like he can’t fathom what just happened. His arms loosen their hold on you, just a bit, and suddenly, you can see the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes.

And for a second, your stomach churns, worried that the wheels in his head are turning and it’s telling him that this was not it.

Finally he speaks. “Was that weird?” 

You huff out a breath, a cross between a chuckle and a sigh of relief, because God. Yoongi could be pressed against you, breathless and flushed, and he’d still overthink. You really belong together.

“Not weird,” you say softly, brushing a strand of hair from his face. “Weirdly perfect, maybe.”

He exhales sharply, relief flooding his features. “Fuck, okay. Good. Because if it sucked for you, I’d have to move out. And in this economy???”

You swat his chest, laughing again, but then his arms tighten around you again, holding you close, and the teasing fades into something softer. It’s not lost on you that this is the longest you’ve ever touched each other. Two socially awkward fools who are secretly touch-starved now finally getting what they’ve been craving for but have been too shy to admit it.

“Seriously, though,” he says, a lopsided grin decorating his lips. “What happens next?”

You tilt your head, pretending to think. “Hmm. You could still make tea if you want?”

He groans, his head dropping to your shoulder. “You’re the worst.”

"Or…" you say, sliding your hands across his chest, your fingers lingering just enough to feel his breath hitch beneath your touch. You push his blazer off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor with a soft thud. "We could… you know."

Yoongi lifts his head, and the look in his eyes makes your heart trip over itself. There’s heat there, sure, but beneath it lies something deeper, something that feels vulnerable. "Are we really doing this?"

And you know what he means. Because again, you know Min Yoongi inside out. And he’s known you. But now you’re ready to bare everything that’s left to discover.

"I’ve never been more sure of anything," you say, your voice steady in a way that surprises even you.

His tongue presses against the inside of his cheek, his last bit of hesitation melting away as he nods.

You step back, your movements slow, deliberate. Turning away from him, you reach for the straps of your dress and slide them down your shoulders, feeling the fabric loosen as you take a few steps toward his room. You glance back over your shoulder, a smirk tugging at your lips. "Are you coming?"

He grins, gummy and warm, and it’s so achingly Yoongi that your chest tightens. "I would hope so…"

You roll your eyes stifling a laugh, because he’s stupid, because he’s him. And because you’ve never loved (wait... what?) anyone more in your entire life. "C’mere then," you tease, the words soft, daring, as your dress slips to the floor and pools around your ankles.

He breathes out, a sound that’s almost a laugh, almost disbelief. "Okay," he says, his voice low, quiet, like he’s agreeing to something more than just this moment.

And maybe he is. Maybe this is the easiest thing in the world, the most inevitable thing that’s ever happened to either of you.

And now, finally, you’re both ready to admit it.

:)

A/N: EEEEKKKK Please tell me what you thought about the story! I'd appreciate feedback if you loved it, hated it, and if it made you feel a certain way.

Thank you for reading this you lovely, beautiful human xo 

& If you want to read more of my work, please check out my masterlist. & If you enjoy my work and want to buy me a ko-fi, I'd appreciate it.& If you want to be tagged for all future stories, you can sign up for the permanent taglist.

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[cordspaghetti]

Followed you for your art, but I have to unfollke you for how much mcr you post. NOT because I don't like that you post mcr.. but because I feel like I'm not enough in the know about mcr to understand what's going on.. I was never an mcr fan but maybe that should change.. do you think your blog is a good place to start or are there beginner mcr blogs that I shall dip my toes into.. I want to stay on your blog I feel like I owe mcr the chance..

omg this is so funny bc lately every time i post/reblog mcr i’m like damn this must suck for everyone who followed me for my small handful of original drawings !!! 😭

hmm as for beginner mcr blogs…. off the top of my head i can think of @on-this-day-mcr maybe? they post abt various band-related anniversaries which is fun and chill. also not so much Beginner but @angstics has a bunch of tags & documents dedicated to mcr archiving that you can look through! if anyone has other recommendations or wants to plug their own blog pls do!!

anyway they are a very cool band of incredibly talented musicians and i think they are definitely worth checking out… they only have 4 albums so they’re pretty easy to get into! if you like glam/horror/metal/pop you will have a good time :)

[chaoticbardlady99]

Twists and Turns (Astarion x F!Reader)

Synopsis: Astarion initially rejected you and you turn your attentions elsewhere- to his surprise.

By the time Astarion realizes his feelings for you- it’s too late. You and Gale are happy together and Astarion would never ruin that for you, but sometimes fate surprises us. Especially Astarion- who never thought he’d see Gale as a hero.

CW: Character death, angsty?, fluffy, crotch goblins (children)

Pairings: Gale Dekarios x F! reader and Astarion Acunin x F! reader- also some dadstarian

✨lightly edited✨

Author note: I was inspired by @thedomesticanthropologist post regarding an unconventionally attractive Tav. I didn’t really touch on it too much, but it is apart of the story to an extent. Please be kind because my writer’s anxiety has been so bad I almost deleted my blog entirely 🫣

Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated 💜

Photo belongs to @venenum-cadaverinus on Tumblr

By the time Astarion had fallen in love with you- it had already been too late.

Oh he flirted with you, called you beautiful when he believed you weren’t much to look at, and then you had come up to ask if he would want to go look at stars with you the night of the Tiefling party. Astarion couldn’t get himself to even pretend he wanted to indulge in you. He assumed you were only wanting to sleep with him and he was not about to sleep with you just because you asked. Astarion no longer has to do anything anyone asks of him.

“I have standards.”

Your face falls and the book of Astronomy in your hand nearly slips.

“Oh- I,” you clear your throat, “I’m sorry to have bothered you then.”

He had rolled his eyes when he came back from being with whatever Tiefling woman he had approached- you had been crying quietly in your tent.

Astarion found the whole thing unattractive and well, really he found you unattractive. Astarion has a preference for traditionally beautiful people and you would never be that. You would surely get over it eventually and if he’s lucky, you’ll just be an annoying kicked puppy who will do anything for him like you have been since he met you.

So, for whatever reason, Astarion assumed everything would go back to normal the next day and the two of you would fall back into the usual routine- he sits and reads while you eat breakfast in the mornings, he talks about whatever book he is reading, you ask him questions about himself, and then you go about your days separately until going through the same motions for dinner. Astarion fights next to you and you protect each other. You are smitten with Astarion and he has you wrapped around his pinkie finger like he wanted.

So imagine his surprise when you don’t come out for breakfast or dinner at all- at least not to sit with him. All of a sudden, Gale is with you all the time. He had seen the man come up to you while you were holding your book and he hugged you- the wizard even glared at Astarion while he was doing it.

Astarion upped his game after that, but nothing he said ever reached you anymore. He’d call you beautiful and he’d watch you visibly flinch. He asked you to go to bed with him and you told him no- you wanted to be with someone who thought you were special and beautiful. Astarion said he does think that. You got angry with him and told him to stop lying- go back to “having standards”. Your anger stung and he knew it was justified, but the little pieces of your trust he could get eventually blossomed into a friendship. Only, now he wanted more and Astarion was entirely infatuated with you.

He had decided to tell you how he felt one night before the descent into the Shadow Cursed Lands, but you were quickly swept away by Gale the moment Astarion tried to come talk to you.

Gale was dragging you off somewhere very specific and when Astarion let his nosiness get the best of him- it dawned on him that he had truly lost you 2 months ago when he had said what he said.

You peer through a telescope excitedly, telling Gale about all your favorite constellations and why. He shares his own knowledge with you and you are wide eyed, fascinated- leaning in to hear more. Gale’s own lips hover over yours and the two of you are smiling at each other widely. Astarion thinks he’s going to throw up when Gale kisses you- not because he’s disgusted, but because it occurred to him that he might have thrown away the only person who actually gave a shit about Astarion enough to love him and he broke your heart. Fitting that he is the one hurting now.

Maybe that’s really all you had wanted- to share something you love with Astarion. You wanted to feel like he gave a shit about you too and he said, “I have standards”!? What in the hells is wrong with him!?

The part of him- the less prideful part- wishes he had gotten to see you this way for him. Why did he spend so much time focusing on you knowing him? Why didn’t he take the time to see you this way? Know you this way when you wanted him.

Gale said something that made you laugh heartily as he brushed stray hair from your face, his hands gripping your hips, and you gasped when he kissed you again. The sound fills Astarion with warmth, but makes him feel sick at the same time. That should be him with you, not Gale.

You went from being plain, unattractive and uninteresting to the single most beautiful individual he has ever met. Astarion found himself hanging onto your words (even the angry ones) and yearning to be next to you.

You continued to do your dance with Gale while Astarion continued his own dance with you. When you threaten that horrible Drow on his behalf, Astarion has to accept it- he has well and truly fallen for you.

Astarion decided he would tell you when you got back from whatever excursion you were on with Gale. He had to at least try. Besides, what could Gale possibly show you in the Shadow Cursed Lands?

Only it had been too late- neither one of you came back for hours and when you did, the two of yours’ scents were mingled so closely together he could barely distinguish you from Gale. You began sleeping in the man’s tent, holding his hand during meals, exchanging kisses, etc.

Astarion, on the other hand, had taken the unofficial title of ‘best friend’. It had stung quite a bit, but he happily took whatever scraps you could give him. It was hardly scraps though- Astarion feels emotionally cared for, protected, and respected by you at all times. Besides, Astarion has a feeling that, if anything happened between you and Gale, there was a very good chance for Astarion to take over that space in your heart again.

The love test at the circus proved it- you had been more compatible with Astarion than Gale. Thankfully you had gone at separate times (Astarion and Gale have since become friendly enough so Astarion doesn’t have to worry about losing you). You had avoided Astarion’s eyes while Gale boasted about the Love Test results.

You had been the first one to wake up and attack his siblings when they had tried to kidnap him. Astarion had never seen you look that angry before in the entire time he has met you- you were even angrier than when Araj had pestered him.

You admitted to Astarion later that day that you hadn’t been sleeping well- you were worried about Cazador or his siblings showing up and that you wouldn’t get there in time. It had been haunting you since the minute you stepped foot in Rivington.

When he finally did face Cazador, it was with you at his side and when he finally killed the man- you didn’t deny Astarion the hug he begged you for telepathically. You held him up as he sank against you and you said soothing words- you told him how proud of him you were. You still reminded him everyday after when he expressed doubt.

Astarion was certain he would watch you grow old with Gale and have a family. So Astarion promised himself that he will love you dutifully regardless and protect you and your family like you have protected him. When you pass? He isn’t sure what he will do then, but he has eternity to be without you and Gods only knows long to be around you.

Until the Wizard of Waterdeep just had to throw him a curve ball the night before the battle against the Netherbrain.

Astarion was sitting by the roaring fireplace as he tried not to make it obvious to Gale that he’s silently pining for you. You were laughing and telling jokes with Karlach and Wyll- Shadowheart joining in and eventually Lae’zel. Your laughter is probably one of Astarion’s favorite sounds.

Only because he doesn’t know what you sound like moaning underneath him.

“You love her.”

Astarion’s train of thought broke and he gawked at the Wizard.

“I-um,” Astarion cleared his throat, “I’m afraid you have the wrong impression. Obviously I’m looking at…”

Actually now that he’s looked over there, none of them were believable enough for him to get out of this one.

“Yes- yes fine. I love her,” Astarion scowls, “you won, I love her and get to watch you live a whole life with her. Congratulations.”

“Astarion- I didn’t say that because I want to rub it in your face. I’m saying it because I have a favor to ask- for Tav’s sake.”

Astarion felt himself freeze. He was silently praying that Gale wasn’t going to tell him to stay away from you- to walk away and never come back after the events of tomorrow. It would be the thing that kills Astarion.

“Okay,” he says wearily, “I’m listening.”

“We all know it’s possible that some of us won’t be leaving this journey alive tomorrow.”

Is he suggesting you might die tomorrow? Astarion still stays right next to you during fights- no one even gets within an inch of you if he can help it.

“If it comes down to it and I need to use my orb,” Gale says solemnly, “I need you to take Tav and run- I don’t care if you need to drag her, cast sleep on her, anything as long as it’s painless.”

Astarion stared at the man blankly. He’s asking Astarion to drag you away as you watch your boyfriend sacrifice himself for the sake of the greater good of humanity.

“Why- why are you asking me? And not Karlach or-“

“Because I know you won’t tell her that I’m considering it as an option,” Gale said before adding, “and I am very aware that she loves you too. She’s going to need you if I die.”

“Need me?,” Astarion laughs in disbelief, “Gale, I broke her heart and I’m about to lose the only way I can walk in the sun tomorrow. It would be stupid of her to-“

“No, it would not,” Gale frowns, ���she loves you, Astarion. Stop pushing her away.”

“You aren’t dead yet, Wizard,” Astarion said with an edge to his tone, “there is still a possibility that there is a Dekarios wedding in the foreseeable future.”

Gale smiled sadly at Astarion.

“That is the hope- is it not?” Gale got up to join you and the others, “you’ll remember that you deserve to be loved for her- won’t you?”

Astarion watched the man walk off like he hadn’t just dropped a massive bomb onto Astarion’s world. He watched as you smiled brightly at Gale and your hands intertwined with his.

But he also caught you looking over at him with a welcoming, pleading smile. Astarion smiles back and joins- hoping that he won’t be part of the reason that smile fades ever again.

*******************************

Gale looks at Astarion- they are losing. Tav is hurt, but still trying to sling spells and cantrips. Karlach and Wyll are becoming cornered quickly, Shadowheart and Lae’zel too. Even with all of the support they brought and it still wasn’t enough.

You bastard, Astarion telepathically says to Gale, you really are going to make me the bad guy, huh?

Ha!, Gale thinks sadly, you have it turned around. It has been a privilege to know you, Astarion. Take care of Tav for me.

Same to you, Gale- I promise she’ll be safe.

Gale announces to everyone they need to leave. You run towards Gale screaming for him to stop- that he doesn’t have to do this, but Astarion intercepts you.

“ASTARION- PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW,” you scream while slamming your fists into his back, struggling to make him release you, “PUT ME- GALE PLEASE- I LOVE YOU!”

Gale smiles at you with all the love in the world.

“I love you too, Tav. Always and forever.”

Gale casts a spell and like that- they are on the docks. You are screaming and throwing magic- desperate to get back to Gale as Astarion holds you close to his chest.

“I hate you!” You scream as you push Astarion weakly, “ I… I-“

You look at him pitifully and Astarion’s heart aches with yours. Astarion pulls you back towards him in a tight hug and holds you. You sob into his chest and hold him back with equal ferocity.

Astarion’s ability to comfort you only lasts about five minutes before the sun begins to burn him again and Karlach is dying- Wyll convinces her to go to Avernus with him. Astarion races to the shadows- certain that he is about to go into the darkness alone as he hides behind the crates.

He cradles his burning hand to his chest and hisses through the pain. Astarion doesn’t register the frantic footsteps approaching him.

“ASTARI- oh my Gods.”

He looks up at you in disbelief as you get down to your knees next to him and begin pulling out healing scrolls, potions, anything you can think of that might help.

You stay next to him until it’s time to move to a different set of shadows and you stay with him every moment afterwards.

You spend the next 6 months together starting your search for a Ring of the Sunwalker in the Underdark- successfully assassinating a very powerful Drow Priestess for it right before Wither’s party.

When you head back to Baldur’s gate together- Astarion sells all of Cazador’s shit and his castle. He invites you to live with him and you pick a house together.

Your emotions have been foreign and not easy for Astarion to handle over the last 6 months and even a year after moving in together, but he thinks about how crazy he would feel if you had also died that day and so he has weathered every storm you throw at him.

Astarion sits as you angrily rant about how unfair it was for him to make that decision without you. You wanted a choice, some kind of say, and you even occasionally just screamed at Astarion for preventing you from staying with him.

This continues even after the party that Wither’s throws. Tara adored you just as Gale had predicted and his holograph healed a piece of you, but now your grief is all consuming. You lay in bed for days on end and you stop eating or even coming out of your room. Scratch lays next to you dutifully until Astarion takes him out to use the restroom. They have to disguise the poor dog as a cat, but he doesn’t seem to mind very much.

Astarion lets you sit and do what you need to do, but after day 10, he finally needs to help you feel like a person again- in whatever way he can. So he runs you a bath and he helps you numbly walk towards it. It’s been about 30 minutes since he left you upstairs. He considered offering to help you, but he wasn’t sure if that would be crossing a line.

You walk downstairs moments later and quietly say his name. Astarion looks up at you and smiles- you took a bath.

“Well, well, look at you,” Astarion teases, “you sure clean up nicely.”

You laughed hoarsely at his joke and sat next to him. Astarion doesn’t move- he wants to pull you into his lap, but he doesn’t want to push your boundaries.

“Can- would you-,” you choke on the lump in your throat, “would you hold me, please?”

Astarion’s face softens as you begin to sniffle and your shoulder begins to shake with the sobs you are trying to hold back.

“Of course, Darling.”

You crawl into his lap and you lean the side of your head against his unbeating heart. Astarion just goes back to reading his book, enjoying the comfortable silence and how your body finally seems to have relaxed. You’d been so tense for the last two years- constantly on the verge of breaking in half, but he knows how resilient you are. He knows your strength and he knew you would get out of it eventually- even if only for a little while at a time.

“What are you reading?”

Your voice sings through the air and is like music to his ears. You sound like you again- tired and still a little melancholy- but you nonetheless.

“Well, Darling, I thought it might be worth learning about some of this astronomy nonsense a little over a year ago so we could talk about it when you felt better,” Astarion says, trying to say it as nonchalantly as possible, “I’ve come to really enjoy the topic.”

You beam at him and it’s the first time he’s seen a smile reach your eyes in what feels like eons. You quiz him, correct him, you tell him everything over the ‘stars’ and then some as you so horribly said. Astarion can’t help but find the moment to be so bittersweet.

He finally had the moment he wanted with you, but he didn’t think a single moment would cost a life.

************************************

“Elanora! Gale! Get back here you little-“

The twins giggle as they run from Astarion around the house. He understands what people mean by terrible twos now.

It’s been a little over 10 years since Gale died. In that time- Karlach had her engine fixed and five years ago, you found a Wish scroll for Astarion. Being a living breathing human again was a very difficult adjustment for the first two years. It’s been 3 years now and it’s not as difficult, but he did forget about the whole pregnancy thing.

It had been a massive shock when you fell pregnant a few months after you and Astarion had gotten married a little over two years ago. Astarion had been so focused on the proposal being perfect that it took longer for him to ask than he wanted.

You giving birth was probably the most terrifying experience of his life and you very well almost died, but by some miracle, you lived through the gruesome endeavor. He gives his thanks to Shadowheart, Isobel, and Dame Aylin. Astarion suspects Gale might have had a hand in it too because you had been out cold, but woke up with tears in your eyes and told Astarion that A. Gale says hello and B. how dare he think you’d just abandon two children with him like that. You are responsible “dammit!”

Astarion is so grateful you didn’t die giving birth to his children. He loves the little crotch goblins to death, but you are the only one they really listen to. You always tell him it’s because he gives in- Astarion argues “how could I not!? Have you seen them!? They are adorable!”

Scratch tried to help him initially after you left to go spend time with Shadowheart, Karlach, and Lae’zel at Elfsong Tavern. The poor dog didn’t last much longer than Astarion- hiding under the bed from the monstrous toddlers that are definitely from his gene pool.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind saying n-“

“They are my children, Darling,” he said all too confidently, “I can handle time alone with my children!”

Evidently there is a difference between handling and surviving- Astarion would consider himself trying to survive. He should have taken Halsin’s offer to hang out- maybe the twins would listen to their Uncle more than him.

Astarion eventually caught them, bathed them, read them a book, and got them to bed. The minute Gale fell asleep around 11:30 pm was the same time you came home.

Astarion came down the stairs and you began to laugh as quietly as you could behind your hand. He leers at you playfully.

“Did you have fun, my Star?” You tease.

“Once I finally caught them- yes,” he says flatly.

You walk up to him and wrap your arms around his torso.

“Let’s go to bed- then you can tell me all about it and I’ll tell you all the hot gossip Karlach has heard from Wyll about the upper class in Baldur’s Gate.”

“Will it be in the paper tomorrow?”

“Oh yes,” you grin widely, “ oh yes it will.”

Astarion loves when you come back from meeting with Karlach- he always knows what’s happening before it even happens. It means he gets to watch everyone else be scandalized which is usually 1,000 times more entertaining than the gossip itself. One time- the paper had been so explicit that the next door neighbor (an elderly woman) quite literally died of shock after reading about an affair the Magistrate had with the Duke. Apparently she was a hard core supporter of the wives and never anticipated such ugly men to cheat on their wives (you may have found him using a talk to the undead spell on the poor woman).

You fall asleep faster than you anticipated- at least that’s what Astarion thinks. The moment you lay your head on his chest is the same moment you slowly, softly begin to snore as he tells you about the evening. You chuckle when he says he is going to need help cleaning up the water in the bathroom tomorrow.

These are the nights that Astarion finds himself looking up to the heavens and smiling sadly- thanking Gale for his sacrifice, for giving Astarion a life he never thought he would ever have.

Most importantly, he thanks Gale for you. For letting go of what future he could have had with you. For not asking you to stay and die with him.

Gale Dekarios is the only reason Astarion Ancunin believes in heroes at all.

[obsidianpen]

Question: there’s been a lot of talk online and sometimes on your blog about Greyana, they’ve been accused of plagiarism, using AI, and bots.

(Sorry, this isn’t a name and shame on them, nor do I want to put you in the hot seat so you can delete the ask if you don’t want to answer.) ❤️

I was wondering what exactly you knew/heard about the author or if you have any experiences with them? Or if this is just lore floating around in the fandom???

oh no, put me in the hot seat, I’m here for it at this point.

So. I hadn’t heard of greyana until, months ago, some anons on here asked me how I felt about the writer who was allegedly using AI and stealing from my fic, and others, to make their own. I kind of laughed it off then, but then someone sent me the link to Invictus so I checked to see. I read a chapter or so (skipping to when hermione met Tom because that feels like a good measure for a tomione fic) and honestly, I was not impressed. But I also wasn’t sure it was AI, as I know nothing about what AI sounds like. So I just thought, eh, it’s just a bad fanfic, but whatever, to each their own. Moved on. And that may have been the end of it.

however.

I could not escape this fucking fic! I kept seeing it everywhere. Recc’d in these various pockets of the internet. I was in a tomine fb group for a hot minute and i swear a gushing invictus review came up every few days. And every time i thought, am i just lame? Do I not get it? And I’d look at that fic for a minute again and think nope, it’s still not good. Whatever, people can like what they want. Moved on.

however.

I kept hearing shit. Being sent reddit posts where users that were probably bots would praise invictus and compare it to blood and gold and blast my work all in the same sentence. And ugggh did that irk me! You can praise a story without tearing others down! But people usually defended me on Reddit, which was so nice, so I always let it go.

however! it just never ended. I have a TikTok I don’t post on but when I’d get on there it was endless posts about and by greyana. Which, again, fine, people can post what they want. But then one day I changed my username to obsidianpen and I stopped seeing those posts. I thought, how refreshing. But it was because she blocked me. I have never once interacted with her. I’ve never even made a post on TikTok and my account is private. She’s blocked almost every tomione writer. Now why would she do that?

then, most recently, that Reddit post attempting to accuse me of using AI in 2017 lmao. The post was removed but very likely it was greyana.

so, that’s my ‘history’. I’ve never interacted with her and haven’t talked openly about her and her writing until now. Because I am firmly a ‘dont like don’t read’ person. But that’s not what’s happening here. Based on all the evidence (oh - they also posted an ungodly amount of words in a super short time frame apparently, which is also suspicious), greyana is, at best, a super pushy mediocre writer who uses bots and tears down other writers in the fandom. At worst, and which is very likely, she does all the above as well as steals work from others and use AI, then plays the victim when they’re called out.

phew! That was a lot. But there you have it, that’s my experience.

[ryomaandgundhamkin]

Some stuff for now since I have no idea how this website works..

!!!!! MINOR !!!!

Hi and welcome to my page, I’m Ryomaandgundhamkin. You can call me that or Ryo, Kin, whatever.

(SECOND BLOG: @cannibaleclipseau )

I’m probably gonna somewhat be online here. Or maybe a lot.

Also I’m not gonna be doing comissions for a while, sorry.

You can ask me about stuff if you want. Either my OCS or me-

Gonna make a post about them soon if I don’t forget, here’s the list so far for OCS:

( Vawilog

Klein

Veil

Coco

Lupne

Tempignis

Shinji

Kenji

Niko ) <- these are from other fandoms like HH/HB and Danganronpa

Quincunx² <- TSAMS

Please help my mental state because I have no idea about role playing or anything.

Probably gonna post things on there that’ll be on my DA (Ryomaandgundhamkin) <- Not really active but i'll hop on every so often or post here if I cant on Tumblr, rarely though

You can also find me on Roblox (Katieemmav)!! <- tell me your user just so I know, I already have like 40 friend requests

SONA (as of September 2 2024) under the cut

Lil fun facts:

I’m left handed, I have a dog, I’m -11037 years old, I have DS manga I never read, my handwritings kinda good, I’m a pretty organized person, I sound like Bryce Papenbrook sometimes (Nagito ahh sounding-), I like plants, kinda minimalist, I live off grape candy and grape ramune and I know Pig Latin. The voice reveal is somewhere on my page just scroll a bit lmao

Quincunx² is a new OC of mines with a ton of lore. Uh, probably not gonna post all of it anywhere. Still working on it kind of?

But if you ask me anything, or my OCs, I’ll try and draw a photo of em to go along with the message ^^ I might do it digitally or traditionally.

Oh cool fun colors nice. Anyways I’ll try and respond to any questions to the best of my ability!

Iyay ewgray oredbay osay ouyay ancay anslatetray ifyay ouyay antway. Ifyay ouyay askyay ayay estionquay inyay Igpay Atinlay Iyay illway espondray inyay Igpay Atinlay ;)

V Link : https://www.tumblr.com/ryomaandgundhamkin/760562156232196096/i-finished-it-yay-im-not-gonna-pin-this-but

[cuddledot]

They're finally here!!

Before sealtober is over, its a good time to FINALLY share these silly billies I've been talking about in my blog.

They're now part of my little collab OCverse but also was thinking: "Oh yeah, folks are free to make their Pinnipoid characters!! It's an open species after all!"

So uhhh yeah! Whether you wanna make a Pinnipoid OC or turn your OC/Fave into a Pinnipiod, do whatever! Have fun folks!

Oh! I almost forgot! I have made a reference to Pinnipoid culture and their clans as well! Something to give a setting a bit and their whole deal. Right below:

NOTE: Anyone is free to expand ideas of Pinnipoid culture, headcanons are welcomed! More ideas may come since this is just the general surface area, but folks are free to add on and expand, whether to fit their liking or explore concepts!

"Greetings! This is the Dirth Anthropology Study Society! Or D.A.S.S! Yeah, not the greatest name. We're a club that studies the culture of many Dirtherians, whether it's humans, clowns, anthrorians, and more! There's also sub-order we go into such as Coulrology, Furology, etc etc. We started out small, so now we're a growing group of passionate folks who want to learn about ourselves and others!"

"But there's something that many folks are neglecting, which is Pinnipoids! Unfortunately due to Orca Inc.'s questionable nature of their fisheries, the Pinnipoids are greatly misunderstood! Many folks didn't know they existed, often mistaken as your typical average feralmal or whatever. So we want to educate everyone about their existence!"

"Let's first talk about their naming system! The Pinnipoids have an interesting naming structure! To be fair, it's also a mouthful. It can be as long and ridiculous as it can be. Well...it's ridiculous for us but to be fair, they might make fun of us for having a name like 'Bob' or something."

"Interestingly enough there are five clans in Pinnipoid Society. Many outsiders of Dirth don't know the exact names of them, so our club mem-I mean researchera just give them 'Totally Original Names' and hopefully they'll find the official names if they have any."

"Some of us are speculating that they don't need a name themselves, but rather symbols. Which could be the reason the clans are nameless on their end)"

"Rumor has it that the clans are represented by their Beachmasters. We are unsure if they govern their territory or just a higher ranker among all their members. What we do know is that they're big. Like Big, Biiiiig. Possibly like some kind of guardian/protector of the clans."

"Again, these are all speculative. We do want a better understanding of the Pinnipoids. For now, our research team will find out another time! We are open to everyone else's findings! See you guys around!!"

-Deedee

Edit: Continuation Post!

[vendetta-if]

Okay... Every. Single. Time. I see the hickey ask on an IF blog I follow, I feel the NEED to post this follow up:

What if very shortly after that, the ROs catch / hear the MC asking someone (or even if the MC asks THEM, depending on the context) if they have something to soothe mild allergic reactions to mosquito bites, because they got one on their neck.

So basically, how would they react when faced to the reveal it wasn't a hickey at all but a dumb mosquito bite!

Here goes out to all of you hickey anons and non-anons 🤭❤️ Also, the link to the infamous hickey ask is here for those who haven’t read it!

Ash

“Wait, wait, Ash!” They hear MC calls out to them and they stop in place. Oh, how they just want to bolt away from this nightmare, but maybe this is also a chance to just face it head-on.

“Ash, what’s wrong?” MC asks as Ash turns around to face them. Ash doesn’t really know what kind of face they’re wearing right now.

“Who was it, MC?” They ask, voice hoarse.

“Who, what?” MC asks in genuine confusion, which just irritates Ash even more.

“The one—The one who gave you… those marks!” They gesture at MC’s neck.

MC’s eyes widen. “What?! No! Nobody gave me these marks. These are goddamn mosquito bites,” MC explains as they scratch their neck. “I swear once I get my hands on those bastards…” They mutter under their breath.

Ash just stands there dumbfounded. “M—Mosquitoes?” Those are not… They glance down and just notice MC is holding a can of bug spray. Oh… Oh no… How could you think the worst of MC, Ash?

“Yeah, pesky bastards. Don’t tell me you didn’t have any in your room last night?” MC says, scanning Ash up and down for a second before concluding, “Oh, you didn’t, don’t you?”

“N—No,” Ash replies truthfully.

“Motherfuckers probably thought your blood is too hot to drink or something,” MC mumbles irritatedly. “Well, I’m gonna spray the whole penthouse now, if you don’t mind.” MC raises the can in their hand like a weapon.

“Uh… Yeah, please do that,” Ash says stupidly. “And, uh… Just forgot what I said earlier…” A surge of relief washes through their whole body, but it soon gets tainted by embarrassment.

“Aww, were you jealous?” MC smirks teasingly.

“Uh—Um…” Ash stammers. “I—I gotta go! See you later, MC!” They splutter in panic before bolting away for real this time.

Oh my God, MC is not gonna let them live this down, won’t they…

Rin

Rin decides not to embarrass themself further and chooses to just ignore MC, pretending not to see or notice them entering the room. They’re not going to lower themself to ask MC about the marks.

Honestly, they’d rather MC leave them alone for now. But of course, the opposite of what they want always happen. They groan inwardly as they see MC walking over to where they’re standing from the corner of their eye.

They steel themself for an unwanted conversation. They’re good at that.

“Hey, Rin,” MC greets them and they just grunt softly in reply. MC doesn’t even notice their curt reply, seemingly distracted by something else.

Oh, I bet their mind is still filled by whatever happened last night…

“Uh, this might be a weird question,” MC begins sheepishly as Rin just keeps staring at them unamusedly. “But, do you know any kind of salve or medicine that can help with these mosquito bites?” They ask, scratching at the marks on their neck.

Rin blinks. There’s no way that excuse would work on them. “Really?” They reply skeptically as they gesture at MC’s neck. “You’re bitten by mosquitoes in your penthouse?”

“I know right? I don’t even know how they managed to get in considering my penthouse is like… at the top floor of a skyscraper,” MC agrees, missing the point Rin is insinuating. “Probably through the elevator or the air vent or something. Anyway, Uncle Luka said he’ll personally get a professional pest extermination service to deal with that.”

Well, Rin did catch their father talking with Luka on the phone about choices of professional pest extermination services available in the city. For some reason, Luka asked their dad as if he knows anything more about it than Luka does. Maybe MC is telling the truth and it’s their paranoia and distrust running rampant once again…

Rin uncrosses their arms—when did they even cross them in the first place? “Uh… Tiger balm works wonder for bug bites,” Rin advises.

“Tiger balm, huh?” MC repeats. “Alright, I’ll just go get it at the nearest drug store. Be right back,” they say before swiftly making their way to the elevator.

Meanwhile Rin is left standing there, still processing what has just happened in the span of a few minutes.

Santana

“Hey, Santana!” MC greets them as they walk over to where Santana is standing.

Santana is already cringing inside at the potential awkwardness of the conversation. They’ll still try their best to try talk normally with MC, but it’s kinda hard with the hickeys still heavy in their mind.

“Um… Hi, MC,” they greet back cordially.

“So, how was your night? Had enough sleep?” MC asks them.

“Well, like usual,” they answer distractedly. “How about you? Seems like you had a wild night…” They gesture at the general direction of MC’s neck.

Oh my God, Santana! What the heck are you doing? Asking about the thing you wanted to avoid talking in the first place?! You idiot!

“Oh, you won’t believe this,” MC begins enthusiastically. “So, I was sleeping pretty soundly for like half the night, before my neck started to feel really itchy. I kept getting dragged out of sleep as I scratched at it. Woke up the next morning, and lo and behold, I just got frickin bitten by the most vicious mosquitoes of Elysium City,” they complain, tilting their head a bit to show them of the “hickeys” which turn out to be mosquito bites.

“Huh?” Santana remarks intelligently as they stare at the marks. Okay, now that they can see them better and closer, they do seem like bug bites instead of hickeys.

“I know right?” MC agrees, with… what? Santana is not sure because their mind is blank right now. “Don’t ask me how the mosquitoes managed to break into my penthouse, which, mind you, is located at the top of a skyscraper.”

“That… That is indeed weird,” Santana replies, chuckling in a mix of amusement and relief. It seems like their fear is unfounded after all.

MC continues their rant about the pesky mosquitoes and their plan on eradicating them from their penthouse. Santana just smiles softly as they listen to every word.

Skylar

Skylar quickly makes their way to MC before anyone else manage to make a conversation with them. MC stops in their track as they notice Skylar approaching.

“Hey, MC!” Skylar greets in faux-cheeriness.

“Oh, hey, Skylar,” MC greets back. “What’s up?”

“Well, I should be the one asking you that,” Skylar says, the grin on their face feels very strained but they hope it won’t show and that it still looks charming on the surface. “Who’s the lucky person?” They ask straight to the point, gesturing at the general area of MC’s neck.

“Certainly not me,” MC groans as they rub at their neck. “Just had one of the worst nights of the month.”

“Oh?” Skylar prompts, hopefulness crammed into that one single sound.

Inside, they’re gleeful though. It seems like whoever MC was sleeping with last night must’ve sucked balls—no possible pun intended. Well, this is their time to shine! Skylar would be more than happy to show MC how it’s really done!

“Yeah! I kept waking up at the middle of the night because these annoying mosquito bites were so damn itchy!” MC complains, scratching at their neck again.

Skylar nods before stopping. Wait, what? Mosquito bites? “What?” They ask, dumbfounded. The marks… they’re not…

MC doesn’t seem to notice Skylar’s confusion as they continue ranting, “I don’t even know how they managed to get in! My penthouse is located at the top of a fricking skyscraper!”

A sense of relief floods through Skylar, and their strained grin has shifted into a mischievous one. “Well, I know of a remedy to help with the bites.”

“Wait, really?” MC looks at them curiously. “What’s that?”

“I heard kisses can work wonder.” Skylar winks before pursing their lips and making kissy noises. “I’m always available to help, you know. Just give me a call whenever you’re ready.”

Skylar can practically see the blood surging up to MC’s cheeks. “Y—You—” they stammer. “You idiot! T—That’s not real! If you’re not going to help, then I’ll go to buy some real medicine for these bites instead!” MC harrumphs adorably, turning away to walk to the elevator.

Aww, MC is soo cute! It makes Skylar feels warm and gooey inside as they chuckle to themself. “Well, my offer will always be open! Whether you have more bug bites in the future or not!” They call out to MC’s receding back.

MC doesn’t even turn and just flips them the middle finger instead before stepping inside the elevator. Oh, they love MC.

[remusawoooo]

anon here, excited to read the essay! i asked you because i really like your takes and i see people in the more canon-adjacent parts of the marauders fanbase to complain about the extremes of the fanon one, though personally ive never really seen anything Too extreme, tho thats probably just tantamount to how well i curate my spaces i suppose (ive seen people say that fanon makes remus really “alpha” or makes sirius “bimbofied” and while ive seen hints of those extremes here and there, mostly it looks like it varies from person to person. ive just seen remus be more assertive than he probably is in canon, or sirius being more dramatic and “fem” than he probably is in canon). from what i know people like exaggerating events (the prank, etc.) or shifting some personality traits, but i dont really think thats a bad thing - i personally enjoy it. as long as they dont completely turn characters into stereotypes (though its a pitfall of every fandom, i fear), then whatever its just camp.

people are allowed to criticize stuff like that though, not taking that away from anyone, i personally just dont really care enough to be totally accurate esp since this hyperfix is kind of the bottom of the barrel for me LMAO. but i ask mostly bc im just curious to see what other peoples opinions are, and bc i think - especially in a fanbase like this - that its incredibly important to be at least a little critical with your media experience and reflect on it. saying “oh fuck canon we’re just having fun” is fine and all, i dont think anyone is stopping you, i think the personalities people have made up for characters that have zero screen time are super fun and the little ships are not everyones tea but like its fine. but even still, people should be way more aware of what characters theyre dealing with and from what franchise, and like reflect on any biases you may have. if youre making shit up for a random DE character, or retconning some sutff, okay, whatever, but be sure to not defend or like suddenly turn to really weird rhetoric. idk i think its the bare minimum in a fanbase like this

i definitely rambled way too much here, super sorry op! i hope this doesnt bother you, feel free to reply or feel free to not. i just really like hearing peoples thoughts on things, and i like your takes and your blog so i hope i didnt catch you by surprise. i really am just an outsider trying to look in LOL

hello anon, I'm sorry I lost your ask. I was writing on my laptop and saved the draft (but apparently had to press on alt, and didn't do it) so I basically lost your question and half of my initial response. Ty for sending in another ask!! Not a bother at all, i find this very lovely :D 

I was mortified to find that someone who isn't really a part of the fandom was perceiving me while I was complaining about fictional characters ahahaha. still, thank you for validating me and asking my thoughts on the mischaracterization of marauders!! I do talk about it daily, unfortunately, and without any prompt too. I'll try to gather all my thoughts here. I don't necessarily come across fanon as much as I did when I reentered the fandom and honestly, I can not be more with you about curating your space !! at the end of the day, I am just here to have fun, and really, pointing out these issues is not a good time at all! But I do post a lot about these, I can't be bothered to bottle up any thoughts lol.

I think the major issue I have with current interpretations is the underlying bigotry that comes along with it. There is a lot of unchecked problematic content that doesn't sit right with me.

Flanderizing characters in fandom interpretations is not limited to marauders fandom obviously. any popular media will face this because so many of us want to interact with one character so their traits are simplified for easier consumption and to find a common ground. this is also not limited to new marauders fandom. even in the older era, leather jacket-wearing, motorbike-driving quintessential bad boy siruis was a thing. so I won't nitpick on silly simplifications.

I just want to say that this isn't about me wanting everyone to have the same interpretations as I do about the canon. I follow so many lovely people and I don't agree with all of their posts. But, we all just simply share the love for these characters in the text and form an imaginary community. So, if we were to remove all the issues I will mention, it is still very well possible to have different personal takes.

Here are some of my issues:

Queerness, Gender roles, and misogyny:

My biggest problem is the representations of queer relationships. the fandom packages these couples in a strange and obvious heteronormative mold where the individuals fit into male and female gender roles. mlm and wlw are now an “f/m”* stereotype and characterization gets affected by the ships. Heterosexual relationships shouldn't have these limitations either, anyway. There is no one way to be a woman or a man. With queer relationships in particular, we have reclaimed the word queer now but it was used to describe the unconventional weirdness in the relationship. We didn't fit into the normal portrayal of a loving relationship. So, it really bothers me, even in fiction, that queer ships are popularly consumed in a way that represents a traditional template. (*this is not about gender itself but the gender roles! f/m can very well be queer!). 

Let's take the biggest victim in this fandom: sirius.

Sirius’ portrayal concerning his gender and sexuality has heavily changed his characterization in the fanon. We have a character who is popularly headcanonned as trans and is it a coincidence that all their traits have changed from the og material? Sirius is suddenly vain, whiny, and dumb. Canon doesn't suggest this interpretation, it has to have stemmed from somewhere. It's the implicit bias. Sirius becomes a caricature of what a woman “should be”. When we focus on sexuality, there is the suddenly short twink sirius who has the same new traits- proving the point of fulfilling gender roles. These characteristics are a stand-in for the “female” role of the traditional relationship and it becomes more clear in the example of new age wolfstar. Remus is now the big alpha stoic manly man- the obvious stand-in for the “male” role. I could go on, it is apparent in the way you can see remus becomes a caretaker and sirius is taken care of.

The point I am trying to make is not to discourage gender/sexuality hc. I love them, keep them coming. But, why is female sirius not tall suddenly? It is not inherently bad at all to have a feminine and masculine pairing! But why do we need to change the constitutions of these characters to consume their relationship?

I'll keep dropping disclaimers because I hate being misinterpreted: I don't obviously mean every single person is doing this or that doing one of the things means doing the other too. 

Race:

It is related to the point above. I was personally so excited to see the popular desi james hc. Even in fanon, I have never seen such a prevalent and encouraged brown rep, it was quite sweet to come back to that. But the problem is the change of characteristics that comes with race hc. Desi james is also a manly dude who is big and buff as opposed to the white petite and delicate regulus within jegulus ship. The melanin is directly proportional to the manliness here. 

This is a propagation of race stereotypes. Maybe jegulus was a bad example because usually there are seen as blank templates. I will raise the argument that this can't be all we can come up with for blank canvases then. Either way, my point about race still stands when you repeatedly design interracial queer relationships so they fall into heteronormative roles. Anyway, same issue with wolfstar when there is a brown remus.

Canon, JKR, and hypocrisy:

Refusing to engage with source material is funny when we are picking characters out of it. the interpretations of the characters will be from their book. otherwise, they are just original characters with the same name. you can add onto the traits and a lot of the time fandom comes to a consensus regarding a few things! This is common in every fandom but I don't think I have seen such reluctance to not only critically engage with media but also shame others who do. We are surely in special circumstances with this fandom but I really do think jkr and how we navigate the fanon should be two different things.

Most of us don't condone jkr or even remotely agree with any nonsense she spews on the daily. Most of us can see the problematic nature of even consuming this media and staying in this fandom. It is one of the reasons I even left the fandom. Most of us are simply doing our best to engage carefully while distancing ourselves from her. So, it is quite laughable when some love to take the moral high ground for rejecting canon while still engaging with the same characters. (the rejection of canon in question being sirius’ height, lol)

(Sirius' height is quite a polarising fact apparently. Unfortunately, the point about height is also discussed so disingenuously. When I talk about sirius’ height, it is not really about him being 6 or 7 feet. It will not really impact my life. It is about what it represents. He is bimbofied as he becomes short. It's an issue of "WHY" again.)

Of course, this isn't an accusation of intentional bigotry from everyone here. The problem with this fandom is that the people in it tell themselves that it is progressive and to run away from the problematic creator as much as possible. We are not progressive if all we do is co-opt queer and racially diverse identities on such a superficial level. The bias manifests in subtle forms. I just wish we check ourselves from time to time, that's all. 

There is a lot of hostility when we try to discuss issues in the fanon. Things are interpreted in the most misguided way to just win the argument. Like I said in the beginning, we all just want to have a good time. That also means creating a welcoming space for vulnerable groups (especially when the same identities are used to pat yourselves on the backs for inclusivity points). I didn't even cover everything btw, I just wrote about the issues that concern me. queer and poc also partake in biased representations, I also probably have some biases that I didn't identify yet. I just think it would be super neat if everyone tried to make an effort to unlearn and engage with media without hurting anyone. 

I have other issues but they are all just super subjective opinions and smth I can ignore when others do. ex: I really don't like giving tragic backstories to bigots in the story. Not every supremacist loser has a trauma that forced them into oppressing people! There is also "tropeyfication" of all major ships. Just an overall issue in the reading world I think, though.

Anon, I didn't mean to make it preachy in any way btw. You probably asked for a silly little rant and I went full lecture mode, so I apologize for the tone shift!! I mentioned these because every other issue can be brought down to these imo. Like you said, I also don't have any fixation on everything being canon-compliant. I only complain by asking about the thought process behind certain kinds of changes, if that makes sense! I hope this wasn't a drag really and you can see where I am coming from. If I misspoke anywhere, pls lmk. Thanks for sharing your opinions too!!

This is a long long rant, anyone who read everything, you are wonderful and patient. Thank you for taking the time. This huge post and the content can make you think, “who cares this much?” or “it's not that serious” and yaa it really isn't that serious. The characters aren't real but we all are. the identities projected are real. so, it does matter to talk about this.

Everything said this is a fun place to be once you find your own corner in the playground.

[celabi]

I’m sorry but scummy scara has been living in my head rent free and I’m always checking your blog to see if you’ve posted more about him alsjshsk.

Here’s some of my brainrot about him:

✩ he once noticed you forgot to eat a few times and now he’s insisted on making lunch for you a few times a week! (Ei’s very shocked to find him in the kitchen with one of her cook books open but after an outburst from him, she doesn’t question it further). He brings you all sorts of things he’s made and watches in delight as you eat it all. You don’t need to know that his cum has been mixed into everything and he’s tucking himself in as close to the table as possible so you can’t see how hard he is as the thought of a part of him being inside of you as you go about your day. It comforts him to know that even when you go to your separate homes at the end of the day, there’s still a part of him with you.

✩ similarly, he’s always worried that you’re not drinking enough and so he’s offering his water bottle to you all the time!! Yeah, it’s so he can have something that you’ve put your mouth on but if you’re staying hydrated too then it’s a win for both of you, right? You don’t need to know how he’ll savour the taste of you (or even your lipgloss) on the bottle when he’s alone.

✩ on the note of makeup, I’m sure your lip balm/stick/gloss/whatever will always go missing because he’s always stealing them. You don’t know that either though, you just know that your friend Scara is kind enough to give you some money when you’re upset about losing your makeup so you can buy some more! He just loves using them and fantasising about how you’ll taste when he kisses you!!

✩ also Scara helping you with some class project and he has this super cool trick to help you filter through searches, he just has to download something for you! Yeah he does what he says but while he does “all the boring technical stuff” that he says you don’t need to pay attention to, he’s downloading his own malware that lets him access your computer remotely whenever he wants. He’ll get off to your pretty face through your webcam when he returns home and omg imagine he finds out about your tumblr blog!

Oof sorry that was a lot lol. I have a few other idea but I’ll save those for another ask ;) Can I be 🫧 anon or 🪷 if bubble is already taken? Hope you had a good Christmas :)

Love this so much, 🫧 anon, welcome 🥺🫶

He’s soooo freaking cute, how he stares at you with excitement bubbling up in his chest when you bite down into the sandwich he had so generously made for you the night before. Wether he used the excuse of ‘I accidentally made a second one’ or not, none of it mattered because when he saw the way your eyes lit up as he handed it to you, or how you so adorably thanked him for his thoughtfulness— he knew he had just gained a few extra points towards his end goal.

“Hm? Theres a weird after taste the mayonnaise leaves on your tongue? Oh, I’m sure it just cause… it’s a knock off brand! So don’t worry about it too much.” He’s smiling at you so innocently, with pure looking eyes that you don’t even bother to pry any longer— and instead accept the offering he had made (specifically) for you. Lol, there’s no possible way he would have mixed his cum inside! Not a chance.

“Speaking of mayonnaise… there’s a little bit uhhh.. right here. Allow me.” Scaramouche knows he’s too impatient, and can’t bother to wait for your response— so he’s quickly leaning in close and brushing his thumb over the edge of your mouth, and ever so slightly slipping his finger between your lips to awkwardly push the sauce against your teeth. He’s blushing profusely about the closeness of your bodies and the way your tongue almost automatically lols out to lick the residue off his thumb, and you’re embarrassed because wow! That’s kinda… embarrassing. Hmm, wonder why my good friend and classmate, Scaramouche is so flushed red and sweating.

I love your brain so much :(( so cute and wholesome Aww. Lmao imagine if you didn’t have a webcam, he’d go home sulking about how his plan was ruined. Maybe he could snag your phone number instead, so he doesn’t have to email you 😕

Hope you have a happy holidays !! 🫶 thanks for interacting, 🫧 <3 (sorry this was so short and rushed, I have family over for New Years!))

[lahooozaherr]

What Was I Made For?

Part 2

Please note: This blog stands with Palestine. If you are interacting with my account and TLOU related posts, I ask that you PLEASE visit these links. Be critical and mindful while partaking in TLOU content and be aware that creator Neil Druckmann is a Zionist.

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: FLUFFY FLUFF, Joel is very soft and deserves softness, slight angst if you squint?, yearning, “first date jitters”, a smooch!! Honestly that’s kind of it, nothing wild happens in this. As always, let me know if I missed something 🫶🏻

MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI. AGELESS/BLANK ACCOUNTS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Chapter Summary: Since your recovery, you’ve settle into town and your routine nicely. Tommy sets you up with a job at the stables caring for the horses after their morning patrol, where you regularly see Joel. The two of you spend a lot of time together and Ellie has noticed. Joel asks if you’ve ever ridden a horse before, and upon discovering you haven’t, asks you take you on a horseback ride.

A/N: I had to rewrite parts of this, sit and contemplate, daydream, etc until I was finally somewhat satisfied with what I wanted to do in this chapter. So if it’s seems kinda clunky I apologize lol. I’m planning to make this a three parter so we’ll get to the fun in the next part! I can’t make promises on when since a lot of my writing is very dependent on my mood and how creative I feel. But I’ve also started my Death Worker apprenticeship and it gives me enough homework to space out for the month, so I have to keep balance! I hope yall enjoy this little installment. It’s a special little project for me, I just want Joel to be happy and to have someone that brings out his ability and need to process his grief.

Joel Vibes Playlist

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | AO3 | My Taglist

Joel continued to visit you as you recovered, bringing you some of your meals and discussing the books you shared interest in. Sometimes you’d share moments of vulnerability with him when you spoke of your past, and he’d do the same. He was guarded over some parts, but you understood. It can be terrifying to share that much about oneself.

You offered him a kind of softness and compassion he hadn’t come across in a very long time. That’s not to say he hadn’t, Tess was compassionate in her own ways, albeit her tough exterior, and he had immense respect for that.

He wasn’t used to it and at times he’d find himself questioning if he’s too harsh around the edges. But you never withdrew from him, you welcomed him with a warm smile everyday. You displayed a genuine interest in his company, it had become a comfort for you. Inadvertently, it had become a comfort for him as well. A balm for his aches that he didn’t know he needed.

Ellie had started to notice the times he had been absent, usually after his morning patrol.

“I haven’t seen a lot of you lately,” Ellie noted as she takes another bite into her breakfast. Joel leans against the counter with his coffee mug and takes a sip before replying, “when I’m not doing patrol I’ve been checking on that woman I told you ‘bout.”

“Oh?” Ellie’s face brightens, the corners of her lips turning upward into a mischievous grin. “You got a girlfriend now, old man?”

Joel shoots a glare back at her, “no.” It doesn’t deter her and she smirks, “if you have to deny it like that then she probably is.” He releases an exasperated huff before taking another sip from his mug, “I’ve just been checkin’ on her. That’s all.”

“Whatever you say,” Ellie stands from her place at the table and walks to the sink beside him to deposit her dishes. Joel gives her shoulder a pat and squeezes with his free hand, she returns the gesture by placing her hand on his and squeezing back.

She heads for the door and turns back to him as she opens it and calls out, “it’d probably do you some good!” Shooting him finger guns as she backs out, he rolls his eyes.

Eventually, you’d meet her and her unending curiosity. Ellie wanted to figure out what drew Joel to you. Eating meals with her and Joel was refreshing, allowing you that feeling of belonging in this world again. Ellie was a firecracker with the mouth of a sailor and you grew to adore her all the same. She enjoyed your company and sensitivity towards her and her interests.

Your recovery was swift, you were in good hands with the town’s doctor. Upon the day she cleared you with a clean bill of health, Joel’s brother Tommy and his wife Maria helped set you up in one of the houses in town. The house was currently being used by a few other unrelated individuals, basically creating a roommate situation. You didn’t mind at all, you were immensely grateful. This was far better than your situation back in your previous QZ.

They took time to show you around town, showing you where everyone meets up to eat in town. Various “shops” in town, trading was “currency” of course. They helped you aquire you some new clothes and essentials

Tommy suggested bringing you on to work in the stables in the mornings, helping care for the horses when they returned from that shift of patrol. After getting to know you and what he’d been told by Joel, he felt that your delicate touch was just what was needed to care for the horses. He also knew how therapeutic it could be to be with them.

His suggestion was met by an immediate ‘yes’ by you. You were mostly excited to start doing your part. You had never worked with horses before but you were sure you’d get a hang of it in due time.

Horses are gentle creatures, you remember hearing of forms of therapy done alongside them from the days before. You could see why, they were calm for the most part. You had slightly worried about being intimidated by them but that subsided when you were introduced to them.

The stable-hands you worked alongside were thorough and patient when they trained you. Teaching you how to feed, brush and even untack the horses upon their returns. You got along with them quickly and with ease. It had been too long since you’d been able to give love and care to an animal.

Being in this position also meant seeing Joel very regularly. Whether that was on purpose by Tommy or not, you weren’t sure. But you didn’t mind, you treasured your bond you’d created with him in such a short amount of time. It had also been too long since you felt connected to another human being.

When he’d return from patrol, you’d welcome him back as you helped him remove the saddle from his horse, Old Beardy, a beautiful and well mannered horse. He’d stick around to chat about what he’d seen that morning as he helped brush his coat as you fed him. When the horse would nicker at you and nudge you with his snout, you’d return the gesture with affectionate scratches and cooing.

Joel would watch you in admiration, an old and almost unfamiliar feeling that had been simmering under the service had started to take root. Everyday it sprouts new leaves and blossoms. Although it was undeniable, he’d been afraid to name it. A while ago he had told himself he can’t let “someone like himself”, rough edges and all, dim your light. He had only recently begun to explore what it meant to be a father again, he wasn’t sure if he was fit to re-explore having something more with you.

He was scared that he would hurt whatever he touched. That he would fail to protect, again.

You, on the other hand, are aware of the crush you’ve been harboring. Although there was that little, nagging voice in your head that would ask how someone as independent and strong as Joel could have those kinds of feelings for you.

You’d sometimes catch the way he looks at you when you’re focused on your work in the stables. Or the warmth he regards you with compared to others. You weren’t sure if he returned your feelings exactly, but you’d caught on to small gestures of his.

It was hard to deny the way your heart sped up in your chest when you’d greet him in the mornings. How it felt to have his eyes on you, his undivided attention. Sometimes guiding you by the small of your back when he walked with you through town, on the way back from the stables or your meals.

But how does one court another in an apocalypse?

—————————————————————————

“Mornin’, Joel,” you turn to see Joel returning Beardy to his stall, back from his morning shift.

He returns your greeting with nod and a smile as he begins to remove the horse's saddle, “Mornin’ sweetheart.”

You turn back to your task of cleaning your brush, hiding how you fight back against a grin that twists your lips and the warmth spreading across your cheeks.

You finish up and join Joel at his side, handing him a brush. He takes it from your hand, brushing his against yours in the process. Beardy turns his head towards you and bumps his nose against your arm, he knows what time it is. With a loving roll of your eyes, you remove an apple from the apron you wore, “Yeah yeah boy, I’ve got you, don’t worry.”

Joel truly admires the way you interact with the horses. You move around them with confidence and intention, he’s pleased to see his idea of suggesting this job for you to Tommy seemed to really suit you. You’ve really come out of your shell since your recovery. You were very thoughtful and attentive to the horses you worked with daily.

“I haven’t thought to ask ‘til just now,” Joel begins as he works to brush the horse's shoulder. “Have you ever ridden one?”

You snicker, “ironically, no. I’ve somehow come this far in life without the privilege.”

Joel is almost surprised, people are typically kind of afraid of the animal at first. You acted as if you’d always been around them.

Joel fights to look neutral as he offers, “I could….take you on a ride…”

He pauses and you glance at each other quickly as he almost nervously adds, “I mean, if you want.” To not seem overly dependent on your answer, he gives an indifferent shrug, but the smile behind his gesture betrays him.

With an excited sparkle in your eye, you perk up and smile, “Really? When?” You never shy away from showing your emotions or how eager you are. He also appreciates that about you, it’s helped provide some kind of a balance in his life. Regular connection with someone in touch with their emotions he finds safety and refuge in. “Emotion” is something he just only shows to a select few.

“How about this next day off?”

“You mean it?”

“When have I ever not meant what I said, sweetheart?” He flashes a smug grin and you shake your head with a chuckle.

“That’s very true. In that case, I’d love to.”

Joel finishes his brushing and sets the tool aside on a hook, “Alright, I’ll be at your house first thing in the morning? Before sunrise, I think you’d like seein’ that.”

You remove your apron and hang it, adjusting your coat as you do. You walk up to him and state, “It’s a date.”

He’s caught off guard and slightly frowns, not in disagreement but having trouble processing what you just said. A date.

You frown back and a sinking feeling almost lands in your abdomen, then his lips curve into a smile. A warm, humored one.

“It’s a date.”

Relief washes over you in the form of a big grin you can’t seem to fight off anymore, biting your bottom lip. He tosses you a wink before turning to leave the stables.

—————————————————————————

Maybe calling it a date wasn’t such a good idea, because it’s added much more pressure than you’d originally intended. You don’t date in this kind of world, do you?

You’ve spent a good 30 minutes bouncing back and forth between outfit choices, the very few you own. Pieces that are more about durability and appropriate for weather and not so much…attractiveness. But you wanted to at least try.

One of your roommates, Lisa, passes by your door on the way back from the bathroom you share, noticing you fidgeting at your outfit.

“You’re up early,” she takes notice, she herself is getting ready for her own morning shift. It’s your day off and unusually early for you to be up and about.

Her voice startles you and you turn to greet her, “Morning, Lisa.”

“Morning! You got something goin’ on today?”

“Yes, uh…” you become flustered as heat threatens to take over your face. “I’m going on a horseback ride with Joel.”

Her face lights up, “are you finally going on a date with grumpy Joel?”

“You really shouldn’t call him that. And yes? No? Maybe? What do you mean ‘finally’?”

She smiles knowingly and folds her arms across her chest, “I don’t know, it’s not like you spend most of your free time with him. On top of time you get to see him when you’re working.”

“Is that….bad?”

“Not at all, girl. I just think it’s about damn time.”

You blow a raspberry at her and chuckle as you make final touches on your outfit, she mimics you and taps your shoulder with the knuckles of her fist, “you look good, stop worrying.”

—————————————————————————

Joel approaches the door to your home. He’s nervous, if he’s being honest with himself. He can’t remember the last time he’d even been on a date, even before the outbreak. He was way more invested in being a father and running his business.

He rubs his hands on his jeans, palms slightly sweaty. He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and knocks on the door. You open it shortly after, whispering to him a “good morning” before quietly exiting and closing the door behind you. He echoes the greeting in a similar tone of voice, being mindful of your roommates you share the home with.

When you smile it makes his stomach turn over, a weird dance between anxiety and peace plays inside of him. He feels so out of practice, but something about your energy helps ease those worries and grounds him.

The walk to the stables is quiet, something he chalks up to it being so early for the two of you on your mutual day off. But really, his mind is also racing, so it’s just a convenient excuse for him to gather himself on the way there.

When the two of you have Old Beardy prepared and ready, he looks to you, “you ready?”

A glimmer of joy is in your eyes, “absolutely!”

“Alright, let me help you up.”

“Oh, right,” you say hesitatingly, looking over the horse and saddle wondering how this will work. A chuckle rumbles in his chest before he kneels beside you, holding out his hands laced together.

“I’ll lift you up. Just step here and swing your leg over.”

He can still sense your hesitancy and offers you more reassurance, “don’t worry, I’ve got ya. I won’t let you fall.”

You trust him implicitly, you have ever since you’ve built your relationship with him. So without fear, you move as he instructs. When you successfully land on the saddle, you let out a squeak in triumph.

Joel pats your leg as he stands back up. “Atta girl,” he remarks in his southern-drawl.

That embarrassing heat begins to crawl back up your spine. What did he just say? But you love it, can he say it again please?

Joel lifts himself up and settles right behind you in the saddle, caging you in his arms. His broad chest against your back is warm and all encompassing. You haven’t been this physically close to him since he rescued you. It’s electrifying, a feeling you crave more of.

Joel has similar feelings about this, but stays professional. He has to. This isn’t that kind of date, or so he tells himself.

Beardy begins to trot in response to Joel’s whistle and commanding movements. You gasp in amazement and laugh, Joel can’t help but smile to himself as he listens to your small reactions.

Soon, the two of you’re out the gate. The sky is still somewhat dark, but a light in the distance signals that sunrise is on its way. Joel has the perfect spot in mind.

“How’re you doin’, sweetheart?”

“I’m great, this is so fun,” you respond joyously. His laugh in response is deep and rich as he signals the horse to speed up just a little bit.

The surrounding area is quiet, save for sounds of crunching snow under Beardy’s hooves and Joel’s breathing. You debate if you should break it and say anything, but you can’t seem to come up with anything. You don’t really want to. It’s so peaceful, it’s just perfect. If it’s like this every morning, you almost wish you could join him on his patrol.

“Oh, hold very still,” Joel’s voice drops an octave as he lowers his lips next to your ear to murmur, lightly brushing, and it sends shivers down your spine. You hope he doesn’t notice. “Look.”

You look around and see a family of deer, a Doe and her two babies. They don’t notice the two of you, Joel had stopped to a standstill just a few yards from them. The scene is serene and makes your heart swell. It’s amazing how life goes on in the wild despite the outbreak. If anything, it has thrived even more so.

“Beautiful,” you’re careful to whisper so you don’t disturb the moment.

He’s caught himself watching you again, instead of the deer family. It feels like witnessing the world again, through your eyes. You hold an appreciation for the small things that he’s taken for granted before.

Joel nudges Beardy and turns his reins to walk beside carefully, avoiding the small family. They go on eating, undisturbed.

“It’s just right up here,” he states. After a few turns, he brings you to a small hilltop. The sun is just starting to rise as you arrive and Joel gives himself a mental pat on the back for his perfect timing.

“Oh, Joel….” You trail off, the view of the sunrise and landscape leaves you speechless as you take it all in. The snow before you is untouched and smooth. It sparkles in the growing light of the sun rising over the mountains. The sky itself looks like a beautiful painting with purple bleeding into red, pink and orange hues.

“This is…this is breathtaking, I don’t know how else to say it,” you profess to him.

“I know, it makes you just stop, doesn’t it?”

Almost instinctively, you lean back into Joel’s chest and relax. You feel him freeze and almost regret your action until you feel him quickly settle that fear, feeling his chest press against your back in return. You wish you could tell him his embrace makes you feel the safest you ever have.

The tranquility of the moment lingers on until you speak, “thank you, Joel.”

“You don’t have to thank me for this.”

“I mean, for everything. You’ve been so kind and welcoming to me since I came here. You saved me.”

You turn your upper body to face him, he looks back into your eyes with his deep brown irises. Suddenly, you could slice the tension in the air with a knife.

“Thank YOU, also,” his lips purse.

“Me? For what?”

“For helping remind me why I’m here. Why I’m STILL here.”

“Oh gosh, you didn’t need me for that…” you begin to turn your head away until suddenly, his large palm cups your opposite cheek and brings you back to face him.

Your breath hitches in your chest when your eyes meet his. Joel’s eyes are dark and formidable, but you’ve found the hints of compassion and warmth in them recently. This time is no exception, chocolate eyes conveying how genuine he is. He always means what he says.

The initial shock of him maneuvering you to face him subsides quickly, as if it’s natural of him to do this. He wonders if he’s being too forward when you nuzzle your cheek into the palm of his hand. He lets out a quiet sigh of relief.

“That means the world to me,” emotion breaks through your voice, tears begin to break through at the corners of your closed eyes.

Joel wraps his arms around your shoulders and brings you close to him, placing a faint, soft press of his lips to the top of your head. Your quickened heartbeat threatens to expose you to him but you don’t seem to care, because maybe it’s time he knew.

Maybe it’s time he knew what he really means to you.

“Could we get down for a moment? I’d like to stretch my legs.”

“Hm? Sure thing,” Joel agrees. He jumps down from the horse and turns and reaches up to assist you. It seems the tables have turned from you using this moment to confess when he brings you down into his arms, encasing you in his embrace.

He doesn’t move and neither do you, as you search each other’s faces. Your lips part, you try to find the words you need but they’re as lost as you are in his eyes. You watch as his eyes dart down and back up to yours as the tip of his tongue quickly darts across his lips.

A fire is lit in his chest, one that he had assumed was gone for ages. It became an ember when he met you, and now it scorches as he holds you in his arms. He can’t find the words either, but he’s more of a man of action.

His face inches closer to yours and you take the cue and mimic him. When he sees this, he takes the plunge and closes the gap and gently, experimentally presses his lips onto yours.

With butterflies in your chest and a boost of confidence, you take advantage of the angle he has you in. Bring your arms up and wrap them around his neck to deepen the kiss.

His lips are as soft and pillowy as they look, a puff of air escapes his nose as he slowly molds his lips to yours. His aquiline nose pushes against yours, he feels like a puzzle piece made to connect to you. You can smell him, a mix of the smell of firewood, pine and a smell that's unique to him.

You feel one of his hands lift up to grip the back of your hold to himself steadily against you. It’s like he refuses to part and come up for air, continuing to take short breaths through his nose. But soon enough he’s forced to pull away, if ever so slightly.

It’s been too long since you’ve ever shared something so intimate with someone, and surely you’ll be addicted after this. Kissing Joel Miller is sensual and slow, right off the bat. You probably look drunk on his kiss but you don’t care, if your feelings weren’t obvious before they really were now.

“I, uh-I…” Joel stammers, blushed from the cold and being unused to speaking his feelings. You lean in and kiss him again, effectively shutting down his attempt to speak. When you part from him, you look into his eyes smiling as you exhale a breath.

His heart races in his chest and he doesn’t remember the last time it did this in response to something other than adrenaline or fear. He asks himself if you can read his mind when you place your hand over it. But really, you just wanted confirmation.

His smile in return is wide, showing his teeth and exhilarated as he does so. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him exude such happiness.

You cup the back of his head with both of your hands, gently nudging him towards you. You touch your forehead to his and close your eyes and he joins you.

“It’s ok Joel, I’ve got you.”

@nerdieforpedro @joeldjarin @orcasoul

Divider by @saradika-graphics

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

You: *writes two small essays clearly, cleanly, and thoroughly going through issues you have with the writing in Miraculous, and how they affect what the show is actually saying vs what the writers are going for vs what the audience is taking away from the show, without treating the characters as autonomous people who actually exist a single time*

Someone who pisses on the poor: 'oh so you think this abused child, who was magically created from a feather, deserves to be maliciously lied to by his lifelong romantic partner and fellow 14 year old? After everything he's already been through?'

Media literacy classes should be a requirement everywhere

Thank you for your kind comments about that post. Comments like yours have been very validating after what was initially a really disheartening series of events.

I was quite pleased with what I wrote and thought that I had done a good job focusing on the writing and emphasizing that I was talking about the big picture of the narrative, not chastising or praising specific characters for what the writers had them do. But after I had multiple people go off on rants defending Alya and Adrien, I started seriously questioning my own sanity and communication skills. I even looked up the definition of betrayal to make sure that I wasn't somehow misusing it since that word really seemed to upset people. In case anyone was wondering:

Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict

After verifying that I hadn't been using "betrayal" wrong for well over a decade, I got a little annoyed and did my angry rant in the hope that it would save me from further backlash.

While it has been super validating to see that my two initial essays did in fact make sense to a good number of people, that last post did go a little viral, which I didn't see coming, so I want to take a moment to make it clear that I DO NOT want anyone go after the people who did the rants that spawned my rant. Nothing they did or said was worthy of any sort of pile on. They were just expressing opinions and that's fine. I even get it to some extent because a lot of people have unfairly salted on Alya, acting as if she's the problem and not the writing. And that can be really upsetting when you like her because she doesn't deserve those pile ons any more than Marinette does. They are both victims of bad writing!

I get the desire to treat fictional characters like real people, I really do, but Miraculous is frankly not a good enough show for you to do that. The hand of the author is far too blatant, making characters do whatever the writers want instead of what makes sense for what has been established. One of my favorite quick examples is that the writers gave us a full episode where Gabriel "proved" that Adrien wasn't Chat Noir only to have him figure out Adrien's secret identity because he heard his son use the words My Lady as if that's a super unique pet name that would make Adrien's secret undeniable.

It's all nonsense, which is why I focus on the writing issues, treating the characters like the tools they very clearly are. I simply can't do the kind of character analysis you can do in well written shows where the characters feel real and their actions make sense in the established narrative.

I'll close with this statement to explain how I try to run this blog: the characters in the show are fictional, the people you're talking to on here are not. In the grand scheme of things, nothing about Miraculous is bad enough to be worth fighting over. That's why I enjoy talking about it. With all the truly important fights going on in the world, it's nice to come on here and relax by talking about writing - a topic I adore - without having to care if people agree. It's also why I have this as a side blog. I want people to be able to avoid my content if it upsets them as my goal is first and foremost to have fun dunking on a show that is bad in interesting ways. If I only ever got upset replies to my posts, then I would not run this blog because Miraculous is not worth being miserable over. No piece of fiction is.

[fedoraspooky]

Okay Spooky, if you don't mind random questions- what's your favourite Disney movie?

Oh I don't mind at all! I'm actually quite tickled to get one out of the blue like this. nwn

But yes! Answer! Uh, well... Honestly a lot of the ones in the 80s and 90s hold a bit of sentimental value to me due to the fact that my dad worked on them. I would always leave the tape running through the credits until I spotted his name. ;w; In fact, on the DvD for Treasure Planet, if you go to the special features you can actually see him in the making of featurette, where they're asking him about how he sculpted the cyborg parts for John Silver! But, er, yes- favorites!

I would say, it's kind of a toss up between two-

I LOVE The Great Mouse Detective. It encapsulates a lot of stuff I like about that era of Disney, and I do enjoy me a good detective story. The animation is smooth and full of character, and has that rough-lined charm of the xerox era, and the backgrounds? Absolutely gorgeous. The story is fun and full of great comedic moments and also moments that downright terrified me as a kid (That Fidget jumpscare and everything leading up to it still gives me the heebie jeebies). But most of all, I love the characters and the dynamics between all of them, especially whatever Basil and Ratigan have going on. Dear lord. Really not surprising this movie ended up being part of my big list of inspos when writing Kilroy. XD

Second movie- and I know some people don't count it as Disney but to hell with it, it was in kingdom hearts so it darn well counts in my book- The Nightmare Before Christmas. GOD, this movie. When it first came out, I couldn't make it past the opening song because I was scared of the clown with the tearaway face. I shit you not. BUT once I was past that, it quickly became an obsession in my little kid mind. My mom actually showed me a PHOTO she has of me from when I was still in my single digits of age, in which apparently I had taken a black permanent marker to my face to draw rings around my eyes and lines on my mouth so I could look like Jack Skellington. My mom still has it framed in her living room to this day. XD But yes, I sang all the songs, I drew Jack and Sally and Zero all over whatever paper I could get my hands on, and I even made a christmas ornament of Jack's head out of sculpey that we put on the tree every year since. It was probably a huge reason that I became such a huge Halloween and spooky-things lover. And even to this day, it resonates a LOT with me as a movie about someone who is just experiencing the WORST artistic burnout. That's really what this movie is about, I've written a whole-ass essay of a post once rambling about Jack's Lament as a song because of the feels it gave me (i tried to find it but idk if i deleted it during a scare of tumblr copyright striking blogs for music a long while back or if tumblr's blog search function is just poop, either is possible).

Anyway I've talked your ear off long enough, my apologies for the long post but sadly that is what happens when you get me talking about stuff I like. <XD ; Every time I say I won't, but then I become this:

[which-qsmp-egg-would]

🌸Intro post! (Changes over time)🌸

ON BREAK FOR NOW :D

I do polls about the qsmp eggs and what kind of children they are! Suggestions are greatly appreciated, as I am a one man band!

Polls will be scheduled to post at 10AM PST every day, but I also love to reblog things about the eggs! I also run events to encourage people to make eggsonas and interact with others in the fandom, as well as posting art/stories about my own egg OC's!

🌸More about me and my blog under the cut! (and some rules)🌸

About me!

⭐️ My name is Captain! You can also call me Poll if you want, as that is the name of this blog's mascot/eggsona.

⭐️ I use They/it/(+neos? idk) pronouns. I don't mind what you call me either, so just go with your heart kkkkkk

🇺🇸 I am American

❗️I can and will block liberally. I refuse to let this blog be swamped in any amount of negativity. I am not a celebrity, I am a pleasant escape.

🌱 My special interest is plants, I am going to start my own garden soon! I also just watch a LOT of cartoons. Oh, I'm also an artist and a writer.

🫶 My native language is English, but I have been learning American Sign Language, Spanish, and recently French. I'm not good at the French.

My main Tumblr account is Captainbee66, but I keep them mostly separate. I just reblog fanart on that one, mostly. I also write fics on Ao3!

I am an Aroace, Agender adult with ADHD :]

About my blog

❤️ Most of this is going to be polls. When requesting polls, PLEASE request them separately. I would prefer an inbox spam over a block of requests. It makes it easier. Also, your requests won't be answered right away. I actually have a lot saved in my inbox, so there's a good amount to sift through. Rest assured, requests will be saved until a later time. I try not to waste.

⭐️ Random asks and questions are also encouraged! I think they're fun. If I don't answer them though, don't be discouraged. Sometimes I just don't have a good answer!

⭐️⭐️ If someone makes fanart/fics based on anything on this blog, please please please tag me, that would be so cool.

❤️ Also, any language allowed here! Google Translate is my best friend, so you can use whatever is comfortable to you.

⚠️ Since I've been asked a few times I'll put it here: I have a limit of 12 options on a poll. We have 11 living eggs. I unfortunately cannot put your favorite dead egg on the polls for this reason. That is why the "Other/Combo" answer exists.

Who are those eggs I keep seeing? I don't remember them from the QSMP??

They're my OCs! The egg in my pfp is Poll. They're sort of my mascot/eggsona that you all helped me make! The other egg is Tequilla, their brother! He's new to the family :]

⭐️ Poll uses all pronouns, Tequilla uses He/Him

🌸 Poll's defining item is a flower crown, Tequilla's is a messenger bag

😭 If anyone makes fanart of them, I will be so emotional about it.

What is Poll's Egg Playdate Project? Can I participate?

🌸This is a community project that I started! It is to encourage you all to make your own eggsonas and make friends, despite events that have happened. We are a strong community, and I want to foster that closeness we've had over the past year!🌸

❤️everyone is welcome to participate, no matter how "late" you are to the party!

❗️Please be respectful of other people's eggs. Don't be a bully, don't put them in bad situations without permission, and just generally behave, alright?

🫶Just have fun, interact with people, and spread your creative wings! If anyone wants a list of specific eggs, I've made a list that I can draw from :]

📖🖌✏️ You can make whatever you want for this project! Artworks, doodles, drabbles, paragraphs of loose thoughts, whatever you want! In any form that you want! The whole point is CREATION.

(Feel free to ask questions in my inbox <3)

[the-rayman-show]

.*~ Pinned post ~*.

Hi!!!! Welcome to a really cool Fake Rayman (Captain Laserhawk) rp blog based mostly just on headcanons lol. I believe I'm the first person to make a solely CLH-based RP blog

I'm also a big Rayman fan even outside of CLH so if you have questions about Rayman lore or tidbits send it to my main account and I'll try my best to answer 👍

Quick character/rp info (that isn't in bio): It is bisexual with a male preference!

He kinda knows something's up with Eden but honestly he doesn't care because he gets to make Rayman's life worse. Lol.

Follows the "Raymesis is Bad Rayman from Rayman 1" theory also btw.

Mod's personal ship is one-sided towards Ramon or just Ramon/Fake but in like a weird gay way not an actual official relationship, but I'm pretty much chill with whatever as long as it interests me at least a little. Multi-shipping/polyamory is fine.

I am a casual roleplayer so apologies if we get into a RP and it seems like I'm not taking it seriously. Over the years it just feels awkward for me to write seriously sometimes.

I headcanon that it and Red on friendly terms because Rayman haters stay winning or whatever lol

Read bio for more info.

Rules: Idk man if I'm uncomfortable I'll tell you.

No sex rp.

Do NOT insert your character into the backstory/past of my character in ANY way unless you are playing a character that Raymesis would know at least a little bit or have heard of because I hate it when people do that, ie. No saying "oh my OC is friends with it!" Sure maybe in your interpretation! ANY kind of relationship that isn't pre-established by my canon will have to be built up to, it will not go your way from the get-go.

Will add more rules if needed. Also pleaaaasse tag me in any new CLH or Rayman RP blogs created would be much appreciated thanks.

Other CLH/Rayman roleplay blogs (I own none of these.):

Dolph Laserhawk [CLH]: @captdolphlaserhawk

Bullfrog [CLH]: @thefinalsight

Bullfrog... 2! [CLH]: @thegreatestguild

Ramon [CLH]: @gunsblazingg

Virtual/TV Rayman [CLH]: @h3y-rayman-kids

Jade [CLH]: @personalreporter

Red [CLH]: @lazerl0zer

Alex Taylor [CLH]: @rand0mwe1rd

Fakeman... 2! [CLH]: @rayplacement

Rayman [RM]: @limblessher0

The Magician/Ales Mansey [RM]: @mrdarksnumberonefan

Betilla [RM]: @the-fairyy

Ly [RM]: @fairlyly

Playthrough Raymesis [RM]: @raymanh8r

The Rabbids, all of them [RM]: @raving-rabbids

My other Rayman blogs!

Playthrough Rayman [RM]: @rayman2beachball

Woodchip [EXE]: @rayman-origins-antipi

Alright! Ask away!

[mel-loly]

What got you into art btw??? what and who were your inspirations for such masterpieces you make??!! :DDD

Hey Hyia!

(This is a big answer but it has all the information/answers to your question, so read it if you want to know)

And thank you for the compliments, I appreciate a lot that!💖

Also- I actually started drawing when I was little, I usually drew drawings of MLP ponies and some random “cute” cats. I sometimes drew some of my old gacha ocs and since then I became known for a while for my drawings and my “cards” with some drawn cats lol, but that didn't last long, and then I stopped showing my drawings as much because... I just wanted to throw a tantrum? Maybe yeah- I think so-- then it was my friend Mari's(@mari-loly) turn and she got to be the best and most recognized artist in the class. Afterwards my art didn't become so “recognized” anymore, just now a little because I showed it to some new friends of mine and they think I'm very talented, but... It's not the same as before, yk? I'm not someone who has a lot of talent or whatever and people have known me for my art..

Here on Tumblr too, I no longer see myself as “recognized” an artist as I was in the beginning, like- today I have friends who are much better known and have everything they need to be more than just “famous”! So, yeah... *sighs* I miss the time when I didn't post so many fandom things and people knew more about my ocs and talked about them.. I felt happier back then... But that's okay, talking about this won't take me back in time, right? So- yeah, let's just cry--- ^^

Regarding inspirations, I kind of don't remember much if I was ever inspired by anyone.. Maybe Ana (@loscompas-blog-uwu) and Mike (@manpleblog)? Well, when I always see their art I see a great evolution, and I feel the affection they put into their art, so... Yeah, it's my friends who inspire me the most! And like, not just them, I get inspired by others too of course💛 Also- another inspiration I had was Sad-ist, at the time when she was still doing the animations for Dream SMP.. There was no bigger animation star like the ones she did, so... It really inspired me a lot too! Like- an enchanter in animations💖 Oh! and another inspiration that I had at least here- was Zin (@taxolotl), seriously, I really felt very inspired by them, like- I was/am a big fan of their art! So, another inspiration was definitely Zin :]

Anyway, thank you very much for the ask and if you read this far, please comment or say something! I would love to receive any comments💖

[randomclunkrguytss]

Hi, uhhh this is my intro ig

uh hi, I'm Sam or Sambi but you can call me Clunkr here (ik it's Clukr but that's just how I remember my name being lol)

(here's my main blog btw lol @welcometofardio)

Basically this blog is a blog where you can ask me questions about being a Sprunki fictionkin/Clunkr fictionkin and all that. I just wanna yap about being fictionkin, it's very fun for me! Also, I'm very interested in what questions y'all can bring me! Uhh there are gonna be some rules though obviously!!

I'll also just post random things on here from time to time, I advertise it as an askblog but it's also just kind of a place where I can organize and express my feelings as a clunkr fictionkin and things related to that and the fandom/media

A little bit more about me, I go by any pronouns (but I have preferred ones like she/her it/it's and code/codeself, but it's really whatever you want! I've been feeling more comfortable with he/him pronouns recently) and I'm aroace and genderfluid! I also am a Bambi Minion fictionkin from Dave and Bambi, but that isn't exactly too relevant here. Also I believe both of my kins are spiritual and they are past lives and I have memories, especially with Clunkr! I believe in that one theory where there's multiple different versions and alternate universes of different worlds and places, and that because of how unknown and vast the universe and space is, anything and any different reality could really exist out there, so that's why my memories can differentiate from canon!

Rules:

★Pls don't be weird/suggestive with me

★Don't interact with me pls if your a bad/problematic person (basic DNI)

★if you're gonna ask me something, you have to ask something related to being fictionkin and or Sprunki fictionkin/Clunkr fictionkin, but I could make some exceptions!!

★please don't spam, I'd you don't think your ask got sent correctly or shows on my inbox, you can message me

Uhh if I need to set anymore rules they'll be here!

Uhh I hope you enjoy this blog though!! See ya!!

Oh yeah here's me btw real

🔧📀 tss tss tss

(warning for censored cartoon bl00d)