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beepboop358 · 3 years

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A Prom in S4 Theory & Music Coding Predictions

Some leaked set pics indicate that there MAY BE a junior/senior prom at Hawkins High, which they are calling the "Lover's Ball". It's unclear if this prom will be included on screen, or if it will just be mentioned as an event coming up at Hawkins High because this flyer could just extra set decor. Regardless if the prom happens on screen or not, there will probably be some tension about 'who's asking who' to the prom that we will see in s4. Given that this picture was just leaked a few weeks ago, it probably falls closer to the end of the season sequentially.

Having a big school dance in s4 is suspiciously close to how they had the Snowball scene in s2. This would certainly follow the even/odd season patterns, (and actually add to the list of the patterns), which kind of makes me think we will see this prom on screen, or at the very least it will be mentioned in the course of the season.

The Duffer Brothers love Steven King and reference his work and especially 'IT' a lot in the show, but they haven't done anything with Carrie yet so maybe we will get a Carrie moment this season at the prom...

Carrie was on the video store fridays movie inspiration board for ST4.

At the "Lover's Ball", there will be definitely be some music coding relating to Byler. Since music coding is kind of a key thing in the show, I've been rifling through 80's songs to try and find some that may fit with s4's themes/character storylines (and I may do a seperate post about that later), but for this post I'm just gonna focus on what they might use at the prom for relating to Byler.

Since the season is most likely going to take place in 1986, I only selected songs that had a compatible release year so it would be historically accurate. (these songs would also be great for a byler playlist!)

Some strong contenders for the songs that might play at the prom to reference Mike and Will's relationship could be:

"True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper (1986)

This song is honestly too good of an option for them not to use. I'm reallllyyy crossing my fingers for this one.

It's hard to take courage In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all And the darkness inside you Can make you feel so small

"And I see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid (don't be afraid) To let them show your true colors True colors are beautiful (you're beautiful, oh) Like a rainbow Oh oh oh oh oh like a rainbow"

If this world makes you crazy And you've taken all you can bear You call me up Because you know I'll be there

"Heaven" by Bryan Adams (1984)

This first verse is literally just the story of Byler... 😭 The rest of the song applies but that verse verse is just sooooo accurate. (I'm crossing my fingers for this one too)

"Oh thinkin' about all our younger years There was only you and me We were young and wild and free Now nothing can take you away from me We've been down that road before But that's over now You keep me comin' back for more

Baby you're all that I want When you're lyin' here in my arms I'm findin' it hard to believe We're in heaven And love is all that I need And I found it there in your heart Isn't too hard to see We're in heaven

Oh once in your life you find someone Who will turn your world around Bring you up when you're feelin' down Yeah nothin' can change what you mean to me Oh there's lots that I could say But just hold me now 'Cause our love will light the way"

"Take My Breath Away" by Berlin (1986)

This song is on Will's Spotify playlist, and I thought it could also be used at the prom since it's a romantic song. I see it as an 'entrance to the prom' moment song, almost like a 'first look' - like the Mike and El moment at the snowball when she first walks in, but with Mike and Will this time. I think the lyrics clearly hint to this kind of 'first look' moment as well.

"Watchin' every motion in my foolish lover's game On this endless ocean, finally lovers know no shame Turning and returning to some secret place inside Watchin' in slow motion as you turn around and say...take my breath away"

Watchin' every motion in this foolish lover's game Haunted by the notion, somewhere there's a love in flames Turning and returning to some secret place inside Watchin' in slow motion as you turn my way and say...take my breath away"

"In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins (1981)

This song was originally meant to be included in the snowball scene from s2, but it ultimately was not used and "Every Breath You Take" was used for this scene instead. Since it was intended to be a part of the s2 dance, that's why I think it may be used at the prom this season. (you can read the scripts on 8flix)

——— I forgot to include this explanation originally BUT, I think this song might be used to show some anger/resentment between the two, and to show a decent amount of tension, depending on their development this season. Like maybe Mike is kind of leading Will on in private by continuing to initiate intimate scenes between them, but in public Mike is still trying to put on his “straight boy act” and kind of being a jackass about it, and this song could be used to show the tension between them that has caused.

"And I've been waiting for this moment, for all my life, (Oh lord)

Well, I was there and I saw what you did I saw it with my own two eyes So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you've been It's all been a pack of lies.

Well I remember, I remember don't worry How could I ever forget It's the first time, the last time we ever met But I know the reason why you keep this silence up

No you don't fool me The hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows It's no stranger to you and me"

"In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel (1986)

Some of the lyrics in this song just SCREAMS byler, just look at the 1st, 2nd and 4th paragraphs. I would be suprised if they didn't use this song in either s4/s5.

Love, I get so lost sometimes Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart When I want to run away I drive off in my car But whichever way I go I come back to the place you are

All my instincts, they return The grand facade, so soon will burn Without a noise, without my pride I reach out from the inside

In your eyes The light, the heat (in your eyes) I am complete (in your eyes) I see the doorway (in your eyes) To a thousand churches (in your eyes) The resolution (in your eyes) Of all the fruitless searches (in your eyes)

Love, I don't like to see so much pain So much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away I get so tired working so hard for our survival I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

"Heroes" by David Bowie (1975)

David Bowie was bisexual. A cover of his song “Heroes” is used in the show twice already, sung by Peter Gabriel. The song plays when they pull Will's fake body out of the water in season one and Mike cries in his Mom's arms, with some very queer-coded lyrics in the background, and after Hopper's letter in s3 (which is very Byler-centric)

"I will be king. And you, you will be queen 'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact. Yes, we're lovers, and that is that. Though nothing will keep us together. We could steal time just for one day We can be heroes forever and ever. What d'you say? I, I wish I could swim, like dolphins, like dolphins could swim I, I can remember (I remember) Standing by the wall (By the wall) And the guns shot above our heads (Over our heads) And we kissed as though nothing could fall (Nothing could fall) And the shame was on the other side. Oh, we can beat them forever and ever. Then we could be heroes just for one day We're nothing, and nothing will help us Maybe we're lying, then you better not stay But we could be safer just for one day"

I just thought the above songs might be some highly likely possibilities given that they fit the year of the s4 and also make references to not only love, but the idea of hiding, pain, shame, longing, etc., and can make some (partially stretching here) references to other things in the show such as:

RAINBOWS and TRUE COLORS, SHINING THROUGH (rainbows imagery is always associated with Mike & Will in the show and a is symbol of lgbtq+ pride, True Colors shining through = who you really are on the inside finally coming out)

IF THIS WORLD MAKES YOU CRAZY ("crazy together", "only love makes you that crazy" and references the "world" motif in the show)

YOUNGER YEARS, ONLY YOU AND ME, YOUNG, WILD AND FREE (references "not wanting things to change" and wanting "to make things go how they were" part in Hopper's letter, and the "But we're not kids anymore" comment during the Byler fight)

ENDLESS OCEAN and SWIM, LIKE DOLPHINS (references water's significance in the show)

FLAMES (Will in front of the burning car in s4 teaser?)

LIES and LYING (Mike lying to El about how he feels)

INSTINCTS RETURNING, FACADES BURNING, WITHOUT MY PRIDE, I REACH OUT FROM THE INSIDE (Mike's feelings for Will are his instincts, the facade is the act he put on in s3 to seem straight, burning could reference Will & fire, and I think the last 2 lines of that 2nd verse reference vulnerability- perhaps in an apology/confession)

I GET SO LOST (confusion about his sexuality, feeling lost without the other) and SO MUCH WASTED TIME (known each other since kindergarten but were unaware the other felt the same way/was dealing with same things, they could have been even closer)

KINGS and QUEENS (the d&d game mike wrote where he has king Tristan give him a medal in s1)

STEALING TIME (references "turning back the clock, to make things go how they were" part in Hopper's letter and the time theme in s4 and time is central to the s4 plot)

AND WE KISS - AND THE SHAME (references the shame they both feel about being gay since it was so stigmatized in the 80's)

Byler @ Prom Possibilities:

If Mike and Will did dance together at the prom, they will probably get bullied because they live in a small conservative town. They will probably either run out, upset, or Eleven will step in to protect them which could lead to the Carrie moment.

Or Mike and Will will not dance together in the actual dance room, but instead sneak off to somewhere else in the school and have a private Byler dance moment where they can't be teased and it's just them together.

OR Mike and Will are still acting weird at this point in the season because neither of them is communicating what needs to be said out of fear, or one of them has confessed or done something to indicate how they feel, but the other hasn’t so everything is weird between them. There would be lots of tension from this and we would get lots of longing looks and adoring moments between the two of them from the sidelines. (I think this one is the most likely)

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amispnrewatch · 3 years

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SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

#SPN 1x06 #amispnrewatch #reclaiming spn #performing!dean #lawboy #bi!dean #dean x cassie #dean x lee #stiles stilinski #void!stiles #teen wolf #dean deserved better

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 4 years

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Okay, I have searched high and wide and do not see that this has yet been done, so I present to you - my analysis of the parallels between Destiel and Cas/Claire in Season 10, Ep .20 - Angel Heart. TL;DR: Claire/Cas are a metaphor for Destiel and Destiel is forever.

As a reminder - central storyline is Cas finding Claire who lands in the hospital while looking for her mom and looping Dean/Sam to help him try to connect with her (and eventually all of them get roped into searching for and then finding her mom who then almost immediately dies, because Supernatural gonna Supernatural). Dean still has the Mark of Cain with no cure in sight, and the side conflict is Cas and Sam’s concerns re: the effects because he is “getting worse” (many worried looks are exchanged!). Also important to recall that in 10.09 during the burger date of my HC dreams, Dean asked Cas to kill him if he ever goes dark side again from the Mark. SO - THE REAL STORY OF ANGEL HEART FOR ME IS how Cas’s feelings towards Claire present a mirror for his emotions towards Dean, and the inner conflict between allowing Dean to push him away (with Dean’s request that Cas kill him from 10.09 hanging over his head) or continuing to fight to be there for him/save him - as presented in the two separate one-on-one conversations/BM scenes between Cas and Dean - and then later Cas and Sam - in the Impala.

I’ve included them in their entirety from the script below, with emphasis on what I feel is important and my thoughts.

Conversation 1 - Cas/Dean

DEAN

Hey, Cas, listen, what you're doing for Claire and helping her find her mom...

It's good. It's a good thing.

CASTIEL

But?

DEAN

Well, where does it end? I'm not trying to be a dick, but truth is, you're not her dad.

In fact, you're not anything to her except a-a constant reminder of someone that's gone.

CASTIEL

No, I'm...

Responsible for everything that's happened to her.

DEAN

Look, I'm just saying, she's been surviving on her own for quite a while now, and ... and then partly because she doesn't have anybody to answer to.

You know, there's... There's nobody holding her back.

CASTIEL

We just found her in a hospital. You telling me that she'd be better off on her own?

DEAN

I'm saying she might be stronger on her own. ANALYSIS: Dean and Claire have always been very similar people to me (which is why I think they initially clash so much). This is very reinforced both in 10.09 (ketchup is a vegetable!) and in the part of this episode where Dean ends up “babysitting” Claire (a moment of silence for yet another scene of Dean actually being amazing with kids and how he should have gotten his own kids dammit). I think Dean is speaking about himself in part in this discourse, relating his own journey to Claire’s (and in true Dean fashion, falling into his usual habit of pushing away those who love him because at this point he knows the end is near). The “you’re not anything to her” is pretty blunt, even for Dean, especially after his taking special care to sit Cas down to spill his feelings re: Claire during the burger date in 10.09. I also took the “constant reminder of someone that’s gone” as Dean’s motivation for pushing people away; he’s trying to ease their pain (not his because Dean does not care about himself at all whatsoever as we all know) upon what he thinks will inevitably be his death from the Mark. The comment can also be related to his request that Cas kill him if he goes too far down the wrong path, and Cas’s presence is a constant reminder of that for Dean, of how not only is he going to go crazy and lose him but he also is putting him through the burden of ending his life. (Oh, and Dean is the King of Constant Reminders of Someone That’s Gone because see multiple trench coats in Baby’s trunk). Cas’s feelings of responsibility towards Claire also parallel his feelings about Dean - he resurrected him, and he has always felt responsible for the burdens Dean carried after that fact; (even if they weren’t directly tied to Cas) he has always felt like he burdens Dean (see the iconic 6.20 - The Man Who Would Be King). Cas’s protectiveness and urge to connect with Claire for me is a direct mirror of not only his trying to save Dean from the Mark without having to carry out his request to kill him, but also his desire to emotionally connect with him while Dean is clearly in a headspace of shoving everyone out. These are all pretty gray parallels. The next conversation though for me is fairly black and white.

Conversation 2 - Cas/Sam

CASTIEL

When this is over, should I... Should I leave Claire alone?

SAM

What? No, man. She's family. Well, I mean, she's not exactly family, but she's close enough. I mean, you two have history. Simple as that.

CASTIEL

So do you think she's better off on her own?

SAM

Cas, she just turned 18.

CASTIEL

You were alone when you left for college at that age, weren't you?

SAM

Yeah, but that's different.

CASTIEL

How, Sam?

SAM

Here's all I know ... going it alone, that's no way to live. You being there for her, even if she thinks she doesn't want you to be there for her, that's good for both of you.

CASTIEL

Maybe, in the end.

SAM

In the end. ANALYSIS: This is so clearly about Dean and not Claire to me. There is no way Cas thinks Claire is better on her own in any capacity. It doesn’t track with anything he said to Dean earlier, and it doesn’t track with any of his actions in the scenes in between these conversations (he got her a damn birthday gift for Jack’s sake if that’s not the opposite of leaving someone alone and not trying to be their family idk what is). If Dean didn’t change Cas’s mind on this, I have BIG DOUBTS that Sam would have anything to say that would so why would Cas even ask him? Also, the entire thread with Sam/Cas at this point in the season is focused on their mutual worry about Dean. Why is Cas randomly talking to Sam about Claire? And - what history does Cas have with Claire? Yes, they have had some prior interactions but can you really call that history? Dean himself mentions in 10.09 that Cas has only met her once before that episode. But there is someone else, someone who is “not exactly family” who recently expressed that it’s better off to be alone, who DOES have significant history with Cas, and that someone is also someone Sam has pretty good insight on. In fact, Cas is basically parroting what Dean said to him in conversation 1 back to Sam in conversation 2, and to me it’s not because he is concerned about Claire because he has already decided he’s going to watch out for her. The only path left undecided is Dean - and whether he allows him to push him out or continues to be there, because it is good for them both. The “in the end” clinches it - because what is Claire’s “end”? She’s young; she’s not going anywhere anytime soon even if she makes a few bad decisions (and Cas is an angel at this point; that protection is pretty mighty). Dean, however, has an end quickly approaching because of the Mark, and it’s an end Cas cannot control or manipulate. So, in conclusion, Angel Heart shows that Claire is a mirror for Dean in her mannerisms, life events, personality, and place in Cas’s heart (which is the only explanation that fits for the title of this episode, which is the same as a very disturbing 70s horror movie and that clearly does not track).

Also, let’s not forget that Claire is canonically queer, loses her soulmate/first love to an alternate reality/world until Jack saves her from it and they are reunited. So, there’s that aka the finale we all deserved.

**if you read this far, bless you, truly for reading my nonsense ;) Feel free to comment and reblog, or message with me. I could overanalyze Supernatural forever here if you’ll let me.

#destiel #spn #spnfamily #spnfandom #deancas #claire novak #dean winchester #episode analysis #spn parallels #supernatural #Angel heart #spn season 10 #they deserved so much more #devils in the details #what makes a story work #myspnmeta

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nellie-elizabeth · 4 years

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Supernatural: Despair (15x18)

I'm having an out of body experience, I cannot believe this. Last night was legitimately one of the weirdest nights of my life, and not just because of *gestures broadly* but also because of *gestures broadly* and myriad other small but still totally bizarre personal things coming at me from all angles... strap in, y'all, I've got some shit to say.

Cons:

We're gonna talk about it. Ohhhh, we're gonna talk about it. But let's start with some other shit before we get there.

So... are we ignoring "Dean was willing to let Jack sacrifice himself" or something? Like there was that moment with Sam and Dean where they talked about it, and Dean apologizes for pulling a gun on Sam, and Sam is like "oh it's okay Dean, no worries." But at the beginning of this episode, Dean seems to be just as worried for Jack, and as protective of him, as the others, with absolutely no acknowledgment of what happened in the last episode. This... should have mattered. There should have been some regrouping and some serious talks about this. Seriously.

The Thanos snap thing... guys, when Infinity War did it in 2018, it was kind of fun and shocking and cool, and we knew the deaths wouldn't be permanent but it was still wild to watch our heroes react to such an immense loss and then leave us all in limbo for a year. This... is not that. The sheer tone-deafness of having this episode contain a moment of domesticity for AU!Charlie and her cool egg-making girlfriend Stevie, only to have Stevie vanish... and then to end the episode with the biggest queer-bait/bury your gays moment imaginable... like...

Okay, sorry, no, saving the Destiel thing until I've sorted out the rest of this nonsense. The point is, seems pretty clear that the deaths in this episode (other than Cas') are temporary, and Supernatural already has the biggest power creep problem of any show I've ever seen... they really couldn't think of another way to up the stakes for the ending, other than doing the thing where everyone gets killed? Didn't... Crowley... already do this to them several seasons back? Am I hallucinating? There's nothing new under the sun with this show.

Why does this show introduce things and resolve them in a single episode? Like, big, huge things? We just figured out Death was trying to double-cross them, and now by the end she's dead? This show either limps along and does nothing, or speeds through plot stuff at lightning-speed. These last two episodes were big and dramatic and full of Plot but in a way where it all feels kind of unreal. Pacing issues like whoa.

And speaking of. Ahem. Okay. Let's... let's do this. I have some things about the Destiel scene that I'm going to put in the "pros" section below, and hopefully as you read on you'll understand why it's really hard for me to be black and white about it. If I had to, if I had to determine whether I am "happy" or "sad" or "grateful" or "angry" I'd say... sad and angry, 97%? Like? Let's dive in, here.

Setting aside the larger context, a couple of smaller notes:

Acting-wise, what the fuck was Jensen doing in this scene? Misha was acting his whole heart out and Jensen gave him nothing to play off of. I don't understand how Jensen accidentally played Dean so obviously in love with Cas all this time, and then in this moment, no-homo'd it so fucking hard. Even the stage directions in the script page that was floating around said that Dean didn't reciprocate. That's dumb, like, in a shipping sense it's disappointing, but also... Dean, what was your face doing while Cas gave his whole monologue about how amazing you are? What a great and loving man you are? Even if he hadn't ended the whole thing by saying "I love you" and then dying right in front of your eyes, surely you would have been feeling some kind of way about the whole situation?

Also, the scene was shot so awkwardly, there was too much space between them, and then Cas pushes Dean out of the way and he just sits there on the floor with Pikachu-face while The Empty opens up and takes Death and Cas away, making these weird shocked noises... Supernatural often has awkward pacing when dramatic things are happening in action scenes, where certain people have to stand still like it's not their turn on the initiative order in a D&D fight or something, and this was one of the more embarrassing and awkward examples of that.

Cas' deal with The Empty has not been brought up practically since it happened. Cas has been sidelined as a character a lot this season, the past couple seasons, really, but we had this hanging over our heads, right? When Cas says "I've figured it out, true happiness isn't in having, it's just in saying it", the moment doesn't really work on a character level, because we didn't get to see Cas do any of that figuring out. We didn't know he was curious about his true happiness, we didn't know it was an internal struggle/debate for him, wondering what it could be. A lot of Destiel people wanted it to be Dean confessing his love to Cas, and that being the true happiness... but of course that would never happen in a million years. Others thought it would be "yay we defeated the big evil, we can all be a happy family together," oh snap, I'm too happy, goodbye. Which would have been... weirdly anticlimactic, but at least would have made some level of narrative sense. This idea that telling Dean how he feels would bring Cas peace is... well, it's okay, it's fine in isolation, but there's no buildup to it, no tension to his moment of "realization."

And now to fry some bigger fish...

Let's forget about the fact that we never thought this would happen to begin with. Is it actually... worse that it did? Seriously, queer angel man confesses his love to stoic human man who stands there without making a single expression, and the act of confessing said love, knowing it's not reciprocated, knowing he won't get to be with Dean or even be near him ever again, is enough to make Castiel so truly happy that he's willing to die peacefully and forever, all in the act of saving Dean's life? Is that not... like... textbook homophobia? People toss around "bury your gays" a lot and I think what they're missing is that the trope doesn't automatically apply just because a queer character dies. It means a queer character dies because of their queerness, or they are revealed to be queer but can't get any measure of happiness and then they die immediately. This is textbook that. The act of confessing his GAY LOVE is what KILLED CAS. It's a one-to-one sequence of events. It's not a coincidence that Cas died right after saying this. Saying this is what made him die. That's... appalling. Truly, in a very real sense, it's appalling.

Another thing I haven't seen people talk about much is the manufactured nature of this sacrifice. We just found out Billie was going to turn on them at the end of the last episode. If Cas was going to die in a sacrifice-y way, did it have to happen now when Billie was basically just knocking on the door trying to get at Dean for a last-minute revenge thing, even though Billie was already at death's door? This was so contrived, like, can Cas not whoosh them away to somewhere else? Keep them running until Billie succumbs? I get that it wouldn't have been easy, and maybe Billie could have caught up to them anyway, but my point is, they manufactured this moment to be "the only way" that Dean could survive, making Cas' sacrifice so noble and necessary or whatever... but I was sitting there thinking there's got to be another way. If they'd wanted to write in another way, there could have been. The inevitability felt so very contrived. And, as mentioned, the impact of dying on this show has lost all meaning, so even Billie trying to kill Dean, squeezing his heart in his chest, did absolutely nothing for me. I knew he'd be fine, because there are two more episodes left. And if Cas hadn't been there to do what he did, Dean would still have been fine because he's Dean. Am I making any sense?

We have two more episodes left. I am... fairly confident Misha won't be in those episodes. All context, both within the show and without, points to that. I truly think that after all this time, he gets the only ending in the whole show that's unambiguously unsalvageable and tragic. We have a world where the afterlife exists and people can hang out there, but The Empty is a different beast, and this means Cas is... gone. Permanently. Like, his consciousness no longer exists, he's caput. They could bring him back from The Empty, in fact, they've already done it once... but if they decide not to, that's just... where we leave things, and that's brutal and unnecessarily grim. The other characters, even if we get an end-of-show TPK (which would be STUPID, more on that later), could at least have canon or implied-canon reunions in the afterlife. If we don't see Eileen again, we can get the implied ending of her coming back to life, or Sam dying and joining her in Heaven. Same with Charlie, with Charlie's new girlfriend, with Bobby, with Donna, with every other character that's died along the way, including Mary Winchester and OG Charlie, OG Bobby, whatever you want. The fact that Cas gets this, after everything, is truly the part I'm the most sad about, setting aside love confessions entirely.

So as I said, two more episodes. I'm worried that Cas dying is gonna get swallowed up with everyone dying and not get its due, thus making the confession completely isolated. Like, here you go, gays, have this one scene, which, in isolation is quite heartfelt from Cas' perspective, but can be carefully boxed up and not touched for the last two hours of the show. If they don't want to touch on how this would affect Dean specifically, they don't have to. He can be generally angsty and sad about Cas, but they could get away with never bringing it up again, and that is some grade-A level bullshit right there, my friends. At minimum, Dean needs to tell Sam about this. He probably won't, but he should, if the show has any sense of integrity left in its bones.

Ahem. Like I said, I have... lots of thoughts. More on Destiel later, but let's turn to the "Pros" section and talk about some other aspects of this incredibly crowded episode.

Pros:

Despite my issues with everything that didn't get resolved re: Dean letting Jack die, I did kind of like the "to somehow" scene, because it was a nice little breather for the brothers, it solidified them as being on the same side to the bitter end, that despite all the crazy shit they've been through, that they've put each other through, they'll have this as a bedrock at the end of the day. I'm not a brothers-only sort of fan, at all, in fact, I think a brothers-only ending betrays most of what's beautiful about this show in its good moments. But they are the stars, they are the protagonists, they should be the center of their own story, and I like it when we get check-ins like this, that shows how unshakable they are underneath all the other crap.

Charlie and Stevie... okay, cute that their names are like that, cute that Charlie said: "I liked the way she handled herself" and that's how they got together... eggs are cute, whatever... and if these deaths are impermanent, which... come on... they have to be, I do like that Charlie gets to have a girlfriend and be happy as a hunter and as someone's partner.

I liked the tense car ride with Sam texting Eileen, with Dean, Jack, and Cas all silent in the car with him... that was a nice moment of solidarity, all of them entirely on the same page about being there for Sam and helping Eileen however they could... even knowing the futility. What were they going to do when they got there? That was a great tension-building moment, in isolation, even though the deaths are likely temporary.

Cas and Jack's talk was good, I'll admit I've definitely been won over by Cas and Sam as Jack's dads... Dean too, once upon a time, but dude needs to do some groveling before he gets to be Dad again, seriously. It's nice that in the midst of all the chaos, there was a check-in moment. Jack is the embodiment of a lot of our end-game themes, here. He had a noble destiny to sacrifice himself, and then it fizzled out and didn't work, and now he's just left in the aftermath, not sure what to do with himself. It was important that Cas tell him that Jack is worthy of love and family, even if he's not "useful" in the way he thought he could be. Definitely nice to have that nailed in.

If we're following the Infinity War/Endgame line, the last two episodes will be majority Sam, Dean, and Jack, but at the last moment there will be a way to reverse it, and everyone else will come back in a moment of triumph. But probably not so much Castiel, which... well... see above complaints. The point is, seeing Charlie, Bobby, Donna, Eileen, etc. all burst forth for one final moment of glory could be really cool, if they manage to stick the landing with it. It'll be an incredibly manufactured sense of triumph and nostalgia, but it will probably work on me because it's been... guys, I don't know if you know this, but it's been kind of an emotional year. :)

I will say, working under the assumption that the dead characters will come back, I'm actually oddly... not mad about Donna dying. It was actually a legitimately shocking twist. A rule was set up: if a person had died before and been resurrected, or if a person was from another universe, they could be Thanos snapped by Billie. Makes sense. Sam and Dean are in danger because of all their deaths, Jack and Cas aren't safe for the same reason. Charlie, Bobby, Eileen... sure. But Donna should have been safe, given the parameters we started with.

And then Dean and Cas are confronting Billie, she says she's not killing anyone, we realize it must be Chuck... and then Donna, who isn't from another world, who has never died... GONE. I gasped.

And the hits kept coming... Billie is dying because Dean killed her with that small wound, and didn't even know it. That's another excellent twist. The past two episodes, back to back, have kept me on my toes about who to ultimately be afraid of. Chuck? Billie? The Empty? It's so much better than this slow march to Chuck vs. Sam and Dean that we've been getting all season, even if we do loop around to Chuck again as the final Big Bad.

The Empty is actually quite a complex, interesting idea for a villain, this entity that doesn't get involved in petty squabbles, doesn't have personal vendettas, but actually just wants to sleep and be left alone. Having Meg be the Empty's face here at the end is also a nice touch. I wish we could have had more of this, truthfully, and I'm curious how The Empty will play a role in how things shake out, if at all.

So... I want to go back to something I've been saying these past couple episodes, about how if this show has a grimdark ending, it will be a betrayal of everything they've set up. It will be so stupid that my anger will manifest in yet another round of hysterical giggles. What I suspect is that we'll get something peaceful, something where trauma will linger but people will get to start anew. Maybe Jack creates a new world outside of Chuck's power. Maybe Sam and Dean take over as God and the Darkness, as some people suggested, and Jack is the new Death. Maybe maybe maybe. Bottom line, I could be satisfied with the majority of this ending, and I can even (obliquely, reluctantly) understand that they wanted one final perma-death to really make the stakes feel higher. If they aren't killing off the Winchesters, that leaves Castiel. So what I'm saying in this paragraph is basically that I'm not guaranteed to despise the ending of this show yet. They could still get it right.

God, that sounds pretty bleak, doesn't it?

Before I end this, I want to talk about, as promised, the few Destiel-related points that I'd classify as "pros", albeit with a big asterisk.

First off, Misha clearly found the moment very cathartic, and he pulled out all the stops, and, in isolation, the confession was hella romantic and quite poignant. Without context, just reading these lines? "The one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have" and "because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you..." like, that's some premium content, I won't lie. I also kind of enjoy the idea that Cas finds happiness in saying the words out loud, in being true to who he is. I hate a lot about what happened to Cas here, but if Cas' arc, in its totality, is about embracing humanity, and Dean is the anchor to that, this really does come full circle. He pulled Dean out of Hell, he saved him, he loved him, he'll die for him, and in accepting that love, that human love, he is finally at peace with who he is. Now, mind my comments above, I'm still not happy, but I can see how in one sense, this is narratively poignant. And if others are satisfied with it, I'm happy for them.

(Added bonus, while Jensen's acting was WACK for the majority of that scene, I did like the ending shot, the silence, him not answering Sam's call, crying silently into his hands. That was very nicely shot and acted, I thought.)

Secondly, and this isn't actually praise for the show, it's more a... meta experience? I have to say, the idea that Destiel became sort of canon, but in the most homophobic way possible, in the year 2020, while we're all still waiting for election results to come in is... one of the wildest, most hilarious things to ever have happened to me. I mean it, last night sitting alone in my house I kept cackling loudly to myself, in complete and utter disbelief. I saw Tumblr explode in a way that hasn't happened in years. I was transported back in time nearly a full decade, to the person I was when I started writing these reviews, or even before that, when I was new to Supernatural, new to the whole concept of being truly involved in a fandom.

Here's the thing... I never. Ever. EVER. Thought we would get any sort of textual confirmation. I thought at most, if they went for a happy ending for everyone, we'd get Dean and Cas as hunting partners, and we could all fill in the post-canon gaps. I once told my sister that I'd be happy with a one-sided love confession from Cas to Dean, because that part was practically canon before last night, and in a way, I am happy. I'm happy that this crazy thing actually happened, and if nothing else, all of those clowns can put away their makeup. I was never with them. I never believed, and there's this sliver of me that's happy to have been wrong. It's completely bogus how it happened, but the fact that we live in a reality where it happened is still kind of tripping me out in a major way. So I'm happy, I'm... flabbergasted, but I'm experiencing a very unique, unprecedented soup of emotions this morning and I never would have felt like this if Cas had died with a no homo parting.

And that's the thing, they let it be unambiguously about Dean, not just in that one moment, but all along, and that's really satisfying in a meta narrative sense that when everyone was reading it as "Castiel is in love with Dean," they were... correct. It doesn't really matter when they decided this, in last night's episode they made it crystal-clear that it wasn't a whim, wasn't a recent development, in-universe. This has been Cas' truth from very, very early on, his entire experience since meeting Dean has been shaped by him, he's loved him all this time. That... I don't know, it's absolutely bonkers that this is all we're going to get, but it does mean something, if you want to let it.

Welcome back to 2012, Tumblr. Last night was a wild ride, I won't deny.

I'm giving the episode a bad score, but I just want to say the Destiel scene gets a simultaneous infinity-out-of-ten and also zero-out-of-ten, imploding the multiverse instantly. That's where I'm at, folks. Insert gif of Chidi dropping Peeps into a big pot of chili. I'm gonna go take a nap.

6/10

#review #supernatural #supernatural review #spn #spn 15x18 #destiel #i'm experiencing actual shock #i keep laughing #but like #you know how sometimes people laugh or smile inappropriately at funerals?#it feels like that

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spnreactionblogging · 4 years

Text

DESPAIR

SPOILERS BELOW / tw suicide sort of

ah the title really does sum this up. I am filled with such dread going in. I know cas gets sent to super hell, I know the destiel shippers are declaring it canon (but then, when haven't they), and I've heard from a reliable source that the show officially as of just now is queerbaiting for real by making it vague and easy to ignore it instead of actually confirming anything. plus nobody seems to give a fuck about jack, as usual, and sam didn't get to say goodbye? god how can this get better???? I hope buckleming got to fucking murder castiel! that would really improve this for me!!! the cherry on the shit sundae for real so okay here goes. ugh. I have this angel's envy bourbon at 1PM, oops. I feel like I will need it for this one more than the others I also am ensconced in my castiel trenchcoat + "be super good" shirt, and cas, crowley, and sam the q-pals are joining me. dean is banished to remain in the tote bag they live in. god I want to scream. this fucking synopsis "With the plan in full motion, Sam, Dean, Castiel and Jack fight for the good for the common goal." oh the plan to use Jack as a suicide bomb???? great idea. lol I hate this. whose "common good"????????? ah but yes dean runs a dictatorship right. no wonder chuck butts heads with him dean looks so fucking smug in the amazon prime video app, hovering over the episode where cas will die horribly. fuck. there is nothing that can emotionally prepare me for this episode the show is going to end with sam and dean because it started with sam and dean and chuck/the IRL writers are bitter about it I guess??? delete fucking everything god, very fucking cute of dean to be like WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING!!! you fucking piece of shit you forcememed this to go as quickly as possible because you want Jack fucking dead, don't pretend you care god. fuck. jack apologizing for dying, to the empty. I hate everything so much ah, so that's why the opening title screen has been that. gross. horrible. a jack singularity is that it? really? jack's dead? just like that. okay. awful. oh he's MAYBE dead. reassuring. I see that briana buckmaster and jim beaver will be joining us my cat is sitting in front of the TV trying to prevent me from watching this, trying to save me from myself oh and felicia day oh this one's written by robert berens, I mostly trust him I think sam should've photocopied the book first oh hey RSJ directed this one I'm glad to have rachel miner back in any capacity that's... alpha/omega on the side there? makes sense I hope it's a fake book god I love sam sitting on the like. what is that, weird equipment panels? more confirmation sam is queer, you heard it here what leverage does dean even think he has cool jack's just getting tortured now "the boy is still useful" at least billie isn't pretending to care about him. oh she left the book thank fuck cas goes to him right away, please hug this child alcohol is not gonna help you guys sleep oh here's dean's half-assed apology. "sorry not sorry that I just couldn't stop, I couldn't help it, I just wanted to get what I wanted, and now that I didn't get what I wanted, sowwy uwu I guess" "you've snapped me out of worse" yeah don't minimize this, sam oh yeah michael exists. I notice dean refers to him as michael and not including adam. way to go I notice that sam does not drink right away "to somehow" those eggs look great "no guns at the table" is a solid rule not only for how miserable that is, but because everything surrounding firearms is a carcinogen and doesn't need to be near food please love yourself charlie please eat good eggs am I supposed to know stevie, was she part of the alternate universe, I still like never watched most of 10-13 oh we're gonna kill MULTIPLE queer characters in this episode, awesome. we gonna kill charlie AGAIN??????? we brought her back just to kill her off, AGAIN? LIKE KEVIN? and bobby I guess?? can I just say how much I hate the concept of a "final boss fight" like why is it always ending in a fight, why is violence always the answer, and why do we feel like one final violent action will solve all the problems huh charlie's shirt looks like a tycho album cover okay so I didn't forget stevie, she was brand new? maybe? I love cas and jack :( feels strange because this all sucks there's no such thing as destiny, jack don't fucking die for sam and dean and 'the world' damn right, cas, he doesn't need "absolution" well that's true for you, cas, you care because he's him. dean just wants to use him cas and jack are good. charlie this was so not your fault. as usual this is the winchesters' fault. tell 'em charlie!!! get 'em!!! you're not sorry, dean. "What now?" is a huge fucking mood, dean oh, greg! our old friend! greg was a real one (but not anymore) yeah eileen's screwed. this includes sam too. and dean i guess. sam is a good person who cares about people despite dean's best efforts to stop him I can't see who he's texting. are cas and jack in the back? poor eileen :( god poor sam having to basically get eileen in front of eyewitnesses who can attest that she disappeared cas and jack are in the backseat yeah I wish he'd tell her she's never gonna reply now yeah she's gone. interesting use of technology that they couldn't've done earlier in the series, to show she was typing but then stopped god that's awful. fuck. "If I let myself go then I'll lose my mind. I can't, right now." that's a huge fucking mood sam let's just postpone all that grief for later. gotta shove it down. huge fucking mood. god I'm so sorry somewhere central... the... bunker? don't split everyone up dean, fuck yes revenge is definitely the answer. killing things is the answer. "not having a choice" is obviously the answer. you fucker we get a sam and dean hug but where's the one for cas. you can like... see it in sam and jack's eyes that they are worried they're never gonna see them again. I'm horrified that cas isn't getting to say goodbye to jack nor sam. I can't handle this. I guess this scene is where they took that last group photo that misha posted back in march? RIP :( oh hey donna jack, that feeling is TheDepression oh gas-n-sip sam's sweet to try to give jack some autonomy here instead of having him just... being shuffled around like baggage. is that eileen's car then this music is intense don't burn the fucking library also wow dean with the reaper blade again is oof. wow. yikes. dean is become death, destroyer of worlds for real. jesus that is fucking horrifying to see. aren't you, dean? aren't you a bringer of death. remember when you hated doing that back in season... 4? 5? later? dean has learned nothing. sam's been trapped in a silo before hasn't he. or that panic room or something. donna is sweet. jack is good. jack deserves better. sam :( donna is very kind I like hearing jody and garth mentioned even if they're not in this episode (?) oh hey charlie sam at least knows how you feel, charlie I like this set god I've missed jim beaver is jack going around with spraypaint? I'm like oh god there's no ventilation. I guess it's a paint bucket but still the fumes are bad. better than being evaporated though I guess big man on campus. RIP stanford sam at least there's a bucket. praeses magna. "president large"? thinking about how it would be impossible to have extras for episodes 19 and 20 I like watching jack paint RIP that plant. apparently he has his powers dean walks around way too comfortably with the reaper scythe. oh but the plan has changed. did billie leave that book and nobody read it?????? dean you don't have friends, bud. yeah how did you tink you would even stand a chance, dean. this is the worst plan ever I'm so tired of seeing cas get tortured. I don't want to see billie get hurt either. is "billie" actually the empty or something "Has virtutes conliga. Eas integra. Eas firma. Nos omnes serva." = "These virtues bind. Those infected. These are strong. We keep them all." idk google translate, I feel like that may not be "infected" but more like integrity I like the effects they did on the wardings there yeah pretty much you can't stop god oh I'm real sad about that couple who vanished together :( bye charlie bye bobby. :( bye donna??? oh that like gold paint gossamer looking shit going on with billie's arm is cool god I'm glad billie smacked him in the face, dean deserves it. I just rewound it to see dean get clocked again, it's so worth it so they went back to the bunker... for what? billie can just go there. sam and jack are gonna have such a rough fucking day. all those double cheeseburgers are back for revenge on dean billie's right actually. dean always thinks the rules don't apply to him because he thinks he should be making the rules. castiel should be with jack, not with dean. fuck. can't cas still heal people the scythe on the wall is a good visual. I really like lisa berry, she does an amazing job is this the same room with the ma'lak box always happy to bleed for the winchesters. christ. fuck. even with dean's pocketknife. cas I'm so sorry. sweetheart you don't deserve this. 7B? so Jack was trapped in 5B, this is a different room but probably the same actual setpiece just rearranged do you just... have to wait her out yeah yeah dean you suck. correct, you never should've left sam and jack. wow I feel zero sympathy for dean at all. you do it to yourselllllf you do, that's what really hurts. oh baby don't summon the empty please :( I'm so glad to know that cas never told them about how he saved jack, it's none of their business yeah it would be with jack, cas. you should be with him man this is shitty. this is like a bad fanfic for real. wow these shots are like, when it cuts between them it's so obvious these were not the same camera lmao fuck. how many takes was this god i hate dean. he has not done this for love. dean is a spiteful person. "you're the most caring man on earth" literally kill me. I want to die. jesus fuck. i want to be dead this is awful this sucks this actually really hurts. this sucks so much. dean you squandered this angel's life. now jack has no father. i hate you dean winchester. i hate you. you don't deserve cas loving you jack knows, jack can feel it. I hate hate hate hate hate hate that jack is left alone with the winchesters. i hate this. jesus fuck i hate this so much i hate this jack sweetheart I'm so sorry dean you fucking ass please pick up the fucking phone. please answer sam. i hate you god dean i hate you fuck dean you are the worst. fuck my life. fuck all this. fuck this show. i'm so angry castiel deserves so much better than this. fuck i'm so mad. why wasn't his moment of happiness knowing that JACK WASN'T GOING TO DIE. i hate this. I'm so upset. fucking shit-ass writing. and it's still not fucking canon you morons at least uh they don't have to have extras for the last two episodes? did they add that footage after? is that what got changed up? everyone's gone huh. god just. dump the show right into the trash. bye. also for fuck's sake nobody gives a fuck about jack like I didn't even know he survived. nobody cares. "sam didn't get to say goodbye" FUCKING JACK DIDN'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE fuck this so much. fuck, is dean just chuck's OC? made in his image and furious that his mini-me isn't acting the way he wants? is that why he gets exonerated at every turn? "all the evil shit you did is fine dean you're the MOST LOVING AND THE BESTEST EVER!!!" fuuuuuck

#s15e18

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artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

Beyond My Wildest Dreams, Ch.2 (Nina West/OC) - multifandomgeek

A/N: Thank you to the kind @alexandriabelle1 for being my first beta ever <3

ao3

Pride season had always been a busy time for Nina. Not only it was a time where the queer community came together stronger than usual, but it also brought the mainstream spotlight to their issues, every year more so than the previous, and Nina was gonna be damned if she didn’t take this opportunity to highlight important topics and engage people in important initiatives.

This year, however, was absolutely crazy! Her popularity was insane, the projects she was doing barely one week in were already so successful she didn’t even know where to put how fucking grateful she was for all of this. She was in drag practically every day. She did parades in heels, talked to people, chanted political rhymes, performed in front of crowds bigger than she ever had before. Living her best life didn’t even begin to describe it.

Somewhere in the middle of June, she was in Columbus (she wasn’t even gonna pretend she knew the date), glad to be home even though the workload there was bigger because of all the partnerships and projects pre-Drag Race. She had a meeting with the people from the Nina West Foundation today. They were gonna talk about the results of the videos they were releasing about the charities they worked with, and apparently Kevin had a briefing to present to Nina, a big idea that promised to use her fame to bring in big money.

Nina would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about seeing Kevin. She hadn’t seen him in person in a while, though they kept talking pretty frequently even with Nina as busy as she was. Brooke asked her about him now and then and fueled her hope that her feelings weren’t one-sided. It had been a cute fantasy to entertain in her head until now, but she felt incredibly self-conscious about seeing the man in person. She was sure she was going to embarrass herself some way or another, and her mind was already going from “maybe he’ll kiss me” to “what if he shows up with a boyfriend?” while she put way too much thought on what she was wearing while getting ready.

The Foundation was more of an idea than an actual place, and for today they were using a meeting room in one of Nina’s friend’s office. The room had a big oval table with about a dozen chairs and a good structure for projections, conference calls, the sort of business things you could eventually need, but other than that it wasn’t especially fancy. Nina got there about 5 minutes earlier than necessary, opening the door to see Kevin already settled in, frowning in concentration while hunched down in front of his laptop. Nina smiled fondly and sighed, feeling like a teenage girl and basking in it.

“Hey,” said Nina gently, managing to startle Kevin anyway. She chuckled.

“Nina!” said Kevin with a wide smile, getting up and rounding the table to hug Nina tightly. God, he smelled so good. “Come here, come see the new project,” he said, pulling her to sit beside him by the computer, “Steven is gonna be a little late with the girls, and I’ll do the whole projection thing for everybody, but I can’t wait to show you,” he finished excitedly, fiddling with the touchpad to put up a powerpoint presentation. Nina caught herself staring at his face and promptly looked at the screen just as he started explaining.

The idea was definitely ambitious, almost arrogantly so, and call Nina crazy, but she thought they could make it happen. It would take time and a lot of behind the scenes preparations, they would need a few more extra hands to help with the technology aspect of it, and if that went wrong the whole thing would be a disaster. Even so, they could prepare well, have lots of backup plans. It definitely had a good chance to go right. She had seen what the fans could do, this could definitely happen!

“We’ll need you fully on board with this, though,” said Kevin, looking at Nina expectantly, “You’re gonna have to be the one making calls and bringing the big people in. Without you, and without them, it doesn’t go anywhere.”

“Are you kidding me, of course I’m on board with it! I can already think of half a dozen people that would agree from the top of my head! And the fact that it’s all digital, I mean, just the schedule issues that would avoid… I even think we can top your initial numbers!” her mind was already planning schedules and making lists and rehearsing convincing speeches.

“You’re amazing, Andrew,” said Kevin quietly. Nina looked up from the computer to see him staring at her with a sweet smile on the corner of his mouth. Her heart fluttered.

“You are the amazing one. I could never think of something like this by myself,” responded Nina, reaching for his hand. She was in awe with this idea, it was genius! As if she needed another reason to like Kevin.

They were staring at each other, and suddenly the excitement gave place to tension. Kevin squeezed Nina’s hand firmly, caressing the back of it lightly, sending shivers through Nina’s arm. She searched into his green eyes for any sign that she was reading this wrong, and found none. Nina licked her lips. She was gonna do it, she was gonna kiss him.

Then, the door opened.

Luckily, the group of people that entered the room was too engrossed in their own conversation to notice if they interrupted something. Kevin looked down and bit back an adorable shy smile, squeezing Nina’s hand one more time before letting it go. Nina just adjusted her seat to be a little further away from him, trying to force her mind back into focus when the only thing she wanted to think about was how the warm lips from the man beside her would taste.

The meeting went on as planned. They discussed the foundation’s past month or so, their actions for Pride, and Kevin presented the new project by the end. He did it in a more structured and professional way than he did to Nina, which made her think he was comfortable around her, instigating a bubbly feeling in her chest. Everybody was excited about the idea, but the others were a bit more down to earth than Nina had been, and the rest of their time boiled down to planning and budgeting and building a timeline for it.

Nina had to leave before they finished in order to make it in time for a gig. It pained her to think that maybe if she had stayed, she and Kevin could have gone for coffee after the meeting and picked up where they left off, but she had no choice. Just the thought, however, that they had been that close to really kissing, that Kevin would kiss her back, touch her, that she would know for sure he liked her back, oh it was so nice. Plus, that project? If they really could pull it off, it could even become an annual thing! There was so much hope inside of Nina that the only thing she could do was share it away, and that made her go into the gig in full power, giving the public her all and leaving them with a sense of satisfaction she hadn’t felt in a while.

When her day finally ended, she was laughing with one of her local queen friends as they made their way to the dressing rooms. The club was still somewhat full despite the late hour, so when someone touched Nina’s arm to ask if she had time for one more fan, she was ready to turn away another drunk person politely until she met a pair of familiar green eyes, squished with a smile, and all but swooned.

“Kevin, hi,” said Nina, forgetting all about her friend, who took the clue and kept walking by herself. “What are you doing here? You don’t even like clubs.”

“I don’t, yeah,” he said, shrugging, “but I didn’t know when you were leaving again, so,” he finished, looking away shyly. Nina’s smile was so wide it was starting to ache.

“I’m in town until Wednesday,” she said. “I like that you came here though, that’s very sweet. I may have a little free time tomorrow if you want to maybe grab a coffee with me,” she asked, touching the back of his hand with her knuckles. He was looking at her again with those eyes and she was getting drowned in them. “Or ice cream. I’m an ice cream now. I’m very delicious if I say so myself,” she said, touching her fluffy hair with playful pride.

“I’d love to taste you,” said Kevin waggling his eyebrows, eliciting a full belly laugh from Nina. “Come here,” he said, pulling her by the hand and guiding her to the back of the stage. Nina went willingly, if confused.

“What are you doing?” she asked, still laughing a little.

“I’m finding a step,” he said, climbing one of the few steps leading to the back of the stage. He turned to Nina and pulled her close, now barely an inch taller than her in her high heels. He touched her face, and her smile faltered. “You’re too tall in drag for me to do this like I wanted,” said Kevin, keeping one hand softly on Nina’s cheek while the other lifted her chin, barely, to place a soft kiss on her lips.

Nina felt like a princess. Her eyes fluttered closed and her hands moved to his waist, steadying her as Kevin kissed and touched her like she was made of glass, a precious, soft thing. Nina was not a delicate man, nor a delicate woman, or a delicate drag-queen, and although she had loved and been loved many times in her life, she couldn’t recall ever being touched like that. It took her breath away.

Kevin pulled back, all half-lidded and dreamy, still touching Nina’s face. She smiled closed-mouthed, feeling her insides all bubbly.

“You have my lipgloss all over your mouth now,” said Nina, chuckling. Kevin reached to clean the corner of his mouth, not tackling even 1% of the problem. Nina giggled, and tried to help him, but ended up just smearing the bright purple all over his juicy lips even more. He was trying to keep still but was also giggling. “Ok, that didn’t help at all. You look cute, though.”

“Hmmm I might as well get them dirtier them,” he said, leaning down to kiss Nina again. Her mouth closed against his tightly while her chest still shook with laughter, but it soon died down, especially when Kevin tilted his head and his hand traveled to her back to pull her closer. Nina was loving the softness, but she also loved the added pressure and the tease of the tongue.

She was, however, still in drag. She couldn’t feel his chest against hers because of her fake boobs, some parts of her body were numb by now, and when his hand touched her neck it went too far and unbalanced her wig. She pulled back, resisting the urge to nuzzle him and get a little foundation to match his lipgloss.

“I have to de-drag,” she said. He nodded. “Come with me so I can get a wipe for you. Unless you wanna rock the gloss, I mean…”

“I think it’ll work better if I apply directly from the bottle? Unless it’s a new trend I’m not aware of,” said Kevin, stepping down from the stage stairs to follow Nina to the dressing room. She forgot he was perched up there. It was funny.

“Who knows, the beauty gurus are full of surprises these days,” she opened the door and entered the room with Kevin right behind. She didn’t even think about the other queens undressing there, going directly to her things and looking for her wipes. Kevin followed hesitantly, trying to avert his gaze from the other people in various states of undress also in the room. “Don’t worry, they’re used to people coming and going,” said Nina, bringing the wipe to his mouth and cleaning it easily. She had to crouch, only remembering to take off her shoes after she was done. “There you go, no evidence of the crime now,” she said with a smile, throwing the wipe away and kicking her shoes to the side.

“Can I help you with it?” he asked, pointing at the general direction of her stuff, taking Nina by surprise.

“Nah, I’m good, I do this every day,” she said dismissively.

“I know you don’t need it,” he said quietly, still wary of the other people around them. “I want to.” Nina was done, melted into a puddle on the floor. “But, I mean, I don’t wanna bother you, of course,” he said, flustered, like it occurred to him Nina might not want him there and he should leave immediately.

“Stay,” said Nina, grabbing his arm gently, her smile completely gone. Somehow, it made her feel vulnerable. Kevin smiled only with his eyes, which was maybe just as beautiful as the full-mouthed one.

Nina turned around and asked for his help with her zipper. She wasn’t getting naked, there were quite a few layers until that, but the gesture made her feel like she was. As if her prom date was taking her gown off at the end of the night, and not as if the guy she liked was going to see her in a weird state of under-drag in a room full of other people.

Once her dress was folded up and stored in her suitcase, she pulled up a stool for Kevin to sit behind her, instructing him on how to loosen up her corset while she took her wig and lashes off. They small talked while they did it, and Nina kept looking at his face in the mirror, the same frown of concentration she caught him with earlier on the day, creasing his forehead. She let him work on it for more than was strictly necessary, and once he was done with that there wasn’t much he could do except organize her things while she wiped her make-up away and pulled off her undergarments. She made sure he wouldn’t touch those, they didn’t need that level of gross-smells-intimacy just yet. He also turned away for the naked part of the process and pretended to fiddle with her brushes, which was a real gentleman move.

Kevin did get to see Nina shirtless though, which almost made her say she deserved to see him shirtless too, but she bit it back. She caught him looking at the red marks left by drag with some kind of worry, and thought maybe he wanted to touch them but refrained to. She would have liked it if he did.

It was different than having an assistant or a friend helping her out. There was a sense of calm and care she wasn’t used to, something warm and gentle that turned routine into affection. In the end, the process was over way sooner than Nina wanted it to be.

It occurred to her, however, that now she could very well invite him over to her place, and that thought brought a whole new excitement with it. She hurriedly asked him to wait while she said goodbye to the queens and staff.

“Now that’s the kind of trade I deserve, honey,” Nina heard a voice say while she made her way back to Kevin after properly talking to everybody. “Hot and useful? Where can I get a piece of that?”

“Nina’s a Ru girl now, baby, they bend over backwards for them,” responded another voice. It made Nina uneasy. She looked around but couldn’t pinpoint who said it.

Kevin wasn’t just some trade, and he wasn’t helping Nina to get in her pants. He could get in her pants any time of day without lifting a finger. It bothered her that people saw a moment so tender and twisted it into something sexually-founded. He didn’t even care if she was a Ru-girl or not. Right? Ok, now she was getting paranoid.

Kevin was leaning against the wall by the time she came back to him, looking down. He was close enough that Nina lost all hope he hadn’t heard the same comments she did. She didn’t know what to say about it.

“You ready to go?” he asked with a smile when he noticed her close, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Nina nodded, getting her suitcase and following him to his car. He had promised her a ride home since he hadn’t drank, and she just had to let her friends know. They were silent, there was tension and not the good kind.

Goddamnit.

#rpdr fanfiction #nina west #oc #fluff #beyond my wildest dreams #multifandomgeek #concrit welcome #nina x oc #canon compliant #tour fic #s11

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ronyxfic · 6 years

Text

Educating the Victim - Act VI, Chapter XIX

Pairing: -

Rating: Mature

Warnings/Tags: none for this chapter

CHAPTER 19: Canapes

They didn’t get going until almost noon, and Marigold found herself lugging a very grouchy and hungover Rose around. Rose refused breakfast and complained about her headache every five minutes, and Marigold grit her teeth and suffered through it, because she knew that what she’d done to Aurora had been a million times worse.

They found the rental Azure had organised, and Marigold started driving, knowing that once again, they would arrive at their destination too late to actually be able to do anything.

"Okay, girls!" Aurora marched into the kitchen, where Pearl and Amethyst were having breakfast. "Everyone's due to come in at ten, so hurry up and help me with these canapes."

"Everyone who?" Amethyst asked. "I didn't know we were having a party here."

"I'm having a meeting with the Crystal Gems just to inform everyone what's happening." Aurora pulled out soft cheese from the fridge. "I told you before you got drunk."

“Oh. Bold of you to assume I’d remember,” Amethyst said. “P, can I have a joint before they come?”

Pearl shot her a look and got up to help Aurora. “It would probably be better if you didn’t, but I’m not going to stop you.”

"I'd really prefer if you didn't, and if you could hide your stuff from the living room." Aurora said. "Just for the guests."

“Oh, fine.” Amethyst pulled a face and then went to pick up her stuff. “I’ll come help you in a sec.”

Aurora gave a smile at that. "Thank you. I do appreciate it."

“What time is it now? Fuck, I’ll have to get dressed properly.” Amethyst was still in her sleeping shirt.

"You can just chill in your room. No pressure to socialise with your teachers first thing in the morning. Ruby and Sapphire are coming, though."

“Oh hey, cool! I’ll think about it. If I’m sober I should probably...” Amethyst shuddered. “Study.”

“Oh, I can help with that, if you want!” Pearl said, brightly. “I mean, I’m taking some stuff over to Rose’s later but I don’t have to do it right away.”

"Oh, that would be nice." Aurora said over preparing the canapes. "Sorry for walking out on your confrontation, girls."

“That’s okay,” Amethyst said, “We managed to sort it out. How’s your girlfriend?”

"The principal is... running an errand for her friend."

“We’re not supposed to ask too many questions about it,” Pearl said. “Super secret business.”

“Ohh. Is she going after the Roxy woman? Wait, didn’t you say Rose was gone as well?” Amethyst raised her eyebrows.

"Ugh. Just don't leak it further. It's meant to be confidential."

“Oh, alright. Well, it’s probably good I’m not gonna be stoned out of my mind,” Amethyst said, “otherwise I’d forget we’re not supposed to talk about it.” She joined Aurora in the kitchen. “Still need help?”

"Nearly done. Just tidy up a bit, please."

“Alright,” Amethyst said, picking up her stuff from the coffee table. There was... quite a lot of it. “Sorry, should tidy more often.”

“I’ll help you,” Pearl said. “I need to tidy up as well, I feel like most of my stuff has gotten mixed up with yours at this point.”

"Oh, yes. I think you mentioned moving out tonight, Pearl?"

“Yeah. But not for a few hours.”

“Okay, I think that’s everything,” Amethyst said, carrying an armful of stuff out of the living room.

Pearl followed her. “Were you serious about studying?”

Aurora watched them leave, relieved that the tension of the previous night had not remained. About five minutes later, the door rang. She went to open it.

Ruby and Sapphire were there. “Hey, Rori!” Ruby said. “How’s it going?”

"Not too bad! Just a bit tired, had a few wild days. Gonna take a 'me day' after this is done." Aurora beckoned them in. "Feel free to chill in the living room. I'll bring snacks."

Sapphire followed Ruby in, looking around. “Are Pearl and Amy not around?” she asked softly.

"They are. Might be chilling in Amy's bedroom. Not sure how up they are for socialising but you guys can probably go and say hi."

“Alright!” Ruby took Sapphire’s hand and tugged her towards Amethyst’s room just as the doorbell rang again.

Aurora watched them go before opening the door. "Oh, hey! Glad you could make it, guys!"

Lapis stepped inside, followed by Jasper and Peridot. “Hey,” she said. “You sure this pad isn’t too small for all of us?” She looked around. “Wow, okay, I stand corrected. This is bigger than ours.”

"Yeah, should be fine." Aurora blushed, leading them into the living room. "Drinks?"

“Yeah, sure!” Jasper said. “What do you have?”

“I’d like lemonade, if you have any,” Peridot chimed in.

"I can do lemonade." Aurora nodded. "Got coffee, juice, a few teas."

“Tea, please,” Lapis said, echoed by Jasper. In that moment, Sapphire and Ruby came back into the living room and tried to find seats that weren’t occupied, and ended up with Sapphire sitting on Ruby’s lap.

“Pearl and Amy won’t be joining us,” Sapphire said.

"Understandable." Aurora nodded. "So. That leaves us all. Feel free to pass messages onto anyone involved who isn't here."

It was then that Lapis looked around. “Where’s Quartz?” she said. “Isn’t she a part of this as well?”

"Well, that's the thing. She's out of the country, with Marigold." Aurora swallowed.

“Oh. Well, that explains why she was absent yesterday,” Peridot said. “What’s the deal with that, what are they doing? It’s the middle of the exam season.”

"Unfortunately, that part I can't quite fill you in on. It's rather private." Aurora sighed. "It's all been totally out of the blue and I really wish I knew more, myself."

“Private?” Lapis raised an eyebrow.

“Is it Roxy?” Jasper threw in.

Aurora screamed at the heavens. "Yes! But it's meant to be hush hush!"

“Be that as it may,” Sapphire said, “this isn’t why we’re here, is it? We still need to decide how to act with regards to the Principal.”

Aurora took a deep breath. "So. About that. We've had a bit of a development with... Marigold herself."

“Oh yeah, you mentioned something the other day,” Lapis said.

Sapphire gave Aurora a look from behind her fringe. “What is it?”

"So." Aurora wondered how far to go. "During the pride event we held at the school, Marigold kind of went through a... positive experience and we actually had the chance to talk out with some of her issues in a way that let her confront it from... a different perspective."

Peridot frowned. “Okay, well, that all sounds positive. Do you think it’ll last?”

"Well. I did have a public date with her the other night." Aurora bit her lip.

“Oho, spicy,” Lapis said. “Didn’t she abuse you?”

Jasper nudged her. Lapis shot her a look, and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

"Yes. I guess she did. But... she's also apologised and admitted to her misconduct. I'm sure we probably could've been able to ask her to apologise to a few other things she did, had she not flown off like that..."

“I think she should release a statement,” Lapis said. “The school deserves that much. The students do. God knows we’ve had way too many students suffer from her homophobia.”

“Yeah,” Ruby said. “If she’s really reformed, she has to prove it. Own up to it publicly.”

Aurora paled, but could only nod. "Yes, I do see why you'd request that. I'll... see what I can do in regards to asking her for something like that. Could we perhaps then focus on making a list of what we'd like for her to apologise for?"

“Harassing queer staff and students,” Jasper said.

“Not even just queer ones,” Ruby threw in. “She yells at anyone who she thinks is a little bit too close. Sorry. Uh. Yelled.”

“She should apologise for suspending Ruby, and also Rose,” Sapphire said, “since her reason for suspending Rose was an alleged relationship with a same-sex student.”

“D’you think she’d let it slide if one of them had been a guy?” Ruby asked.

“It’s possible.”

"I doubt it... although... Pearl was of age when it all happened, so maybe she would've kept a blind eye." Aurora shrugged but then picked her tablet and wrote a few notes. "Any other grievances?"

A pregnant silence fell.

“Wasn’t there that kid who killed themselves?” Ruby then said.

Aurora turned stiff. "Yes. There was."

“What was her name again?” Peridot said. “I’m not sure I’ve heard any details about that.”

"He. A kid, Lars, committed suicide. He was in my year. A few people point fingers to Marigold because she put her foot down on disallowing him to socially transition at school." Aurora swallowed. "And a few other things, but... she was certainly not the only one complicit in his deterioration."

“I heard she was wildly transphobic when dealing with him,” Sapphire said. “Is that true? Were you at school then?”

"Yes." Aurora nodded. "He was never... very harshly bullied but much more isolated after coming out. We didn't really understand, at that time." She looked away. "And neither did Marigold."

“Huh. Well, if she had a part in it, she should definitely apologise for that,” Jasper said. “Driving queer kids to suicide is never okay.”

“Indeed.” Aurora looked downcast as she finished typing more notes, feeling awkward. "Right! I shouldn't forget the canapes I made!"

“You made canapes?” Lapis quirked a brow. “Impressive.”

“I’m starving,” Ruby said.

“We had breakfast before we left,” Sapphire reminded them gently.

“Yeah, but that was ages ago!”

Aurora smiled as she brought a tray over. "There's enough for everyone, so feel free to have some anyway."

Ruby immediately reached out for them. “These look great!” they said, taking a few.

Peridot took some as well. “So, like, is that everything with regards to the Principal? And what do we do now, do the Crystal Gems still exist?”

"That's the thing, I feel that with Marigold at last temporarily out of the picture and with signs of recovery... we really should think about focusing our efforts elsewhere. You can do whatever you want with the group, but I'm leaving the school after the summer, anyway."

“Well, this was a useless trip here, then,” Lapis said, “I was hoping for some beef. But whatever.”

“Be nice,” Peridot said, “there’s obviously a lot of stuff going on here.”

“But we don’t have to stay and sit in awkwardness for another half hour, do we?” Jasper asked, shooting an apologetic smile at Aurora.

"Ah, that's why I made the canapes!" Aurora gave a beam. "If anything, treat this get together like a little farewell party?"

Lapis reached out for the canapes. “Sure, we can do that. I’m sure Diamond will be sad to see you go.”

“We will be as well,” Jasper threw in.

Ruby stretched. “Right,” they said, “I’m gonna go hang with Amy and Pearl. You coming, Sapphy?”

"Already on my way." Sapphire grabbed a canape and joined them.

Aurora flushed as she sat down. "Yes. But I think the distance will be good. It's been a wild few years but I'll miss it a great deal. I mostly took it to look after Pearl and, well. I've nearly completed that duty."

“Understandable,” Peridot said.

“Pearl has certainly grown a lot this year,” Jasper said. “I don’t see her as much as I used to, but it’s been obvious even from afar.”

"Yeah, I guess that happens when you go through a lot." Aurora gave a sombre laugh. "I'm sure she's going to do well and flourish at university after all this trouble at school."

“She’s a troubled one,” Jasper said, “she’ll always have some stuff going on. But she’ll deal with it.”

Aurora gave a curt laugh. “Goodness, Pearl might be an occasional mess, but she’s receiving treatment. Amy, on the other hand... well. I think she needs more support than ever, you know.”

Lapis glanced up at this, her expression for once conveying genuine surprise. “Oh?”

Aurora blushed as she looked around, her voice growing quiet. “It’s wholly inappropriate for me to gossip, so I’ll keep it brief, but she’s been slowly falling off the wagon since she’s come here. Don’t get me wrong, she needed to leave her parents’, but I’m not her mother and I cannot and will not control her, you know? I learnt enough about that with Pearl.”

Lapis furrowed her brow. “Her essay scores have always been decent... I don’t recall her being too bad recently, if only a smidge disruptive since she’s started to sit with Pearl.”

Peridot gave a small chuckle. “Well, you should’ve seen her in my classes. She’s... actually one of the ones I’m most concerned about this year. Haven’t you noticed anything?”

Jasper snorted. “Oh please, Lapis wouldn’t know a struggling student if they stared her in the face.”

Lapis immediately gave her a withering look.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

Jasper trembled under her gaze, but held her ground. “Just that, you know, you’re not always the best with like. Empathy, and actually caring about other people, and the like.”

Lapis opened her mouth, but then glanced around to see everyone occupying the room at her for a response. She looked back at Jasper, her throat feeling too dry. “That’s just rude. Amethyst is a good student, she’s just unfocused, and who the hell can blame her? The current education system is not apt for everyone, some people are just better suited to studying their subject of interest. I mean, that’s what uni is for, right? Some kids just figure that part out early.”

“Yeah, well, most kids actually tend to show up to their lessons sober,” Peridot remarked.

Jasper couldn’t help but to laugh. “You know what intoxication feels like, then? And here I thought you were teetotal.”

“Am,” Peridot corrected. “I tried to be a ‘normal’ person at university once, you know.”

“I take it that lasted all of fresher’s, then.” Jasper smirked, and Peridot went very quiet.

“Well, be that as it may,” Lapis said sharply, “I am not convinced Amethyst is a bad student. She’s got a knack for analysis, and likes participating in my classes. Maybe you just don’t teach her very well.”

Peridot snorted. “Yeah, right. She just likes you because you let her do what she wants.”

Aurora stepped in. “Okay, guys,” she said, “this isn’t really the time or place for all of this. The fact of the matter is that Amethyst isn’t in a particularly great place at the moment, and we’re doing what we can to help out. But for now, there’s not a great deal we can do.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Lapis said. “We should head off anyway. But I need to use the bathroom first. Where is it?”

Aurora appeared to sense her energy and offered her a kind smile. “Just down the hall, past the Pearlmethyst room.”

Lapis gathered herself up. “Is that what you’re calling it, then?”

“Well, Pearl is kind of moving out... So it might just be the Amethyst room from now. I have no idea how Pearlie’s managed to keep her shit together sharing it. She’s usually surprisingly anal about keeping it neat for a teenager.”

Lapis heard the rest of the room chuckle somewhat to this as she left the room, pacing down to the bathroom. She glanced down a narrow corridor, and saw the door to the room Aurora had mentioned. She began to hear familiar voices as she drew nearer, her curiosity growing as she picked up the tone. Hmm. They were oddly strained. She pressed at the door a little, allowing it to drift ajar.

“I just can’t do it, P!” Amethyst’s voice was a little louder than it needed to be, and Pearl hushed her almost immediately.

“Look, it’s really... not that hard, okay? We can go over it again.”

“But we’ve been over it three times already! I’m just too dumb for this. I’m just stupid and I’m never gonna amount to anything.”

Some shuffling could be heard, and a sigh. “We can take a break for now.”

“It’s not gonna change anything, is it?” Amethyst huffed. “I’m just too stupid for any of this. I can’t get my stupid brain to work and I’ll just be dumb and useless for my entire life.”

A new voice. Lapis recognised it as Ruby. “Hey. Don’t say that about yourself. Your grades don’t say anything about your worth as a person.”

“Then why the fuck do I have to do any of this?” Amethyst suddenly cried out. “Like. Any of it? For university? That I’m not even going to bother going to?”

“I mean, it’s not too late to apply.” Sapphire’s voice was gentle. “There’s still going to be clearing, and lots of courses you can-“

“I’m so fucking done with school, man. I’m so done! I’m done with classes, and reports and tests I fucking fail at. I’m done of getting ‘see me’s and bad marks. I don’t even want to bloody go to results day, everyone else is gonna be so jazzed about their grades and I’m just going to be there with a handful of fails.” Her voice was beginning to crack. “Because that’s all I am. A failure.”

Lapis swallowed. She suddenly felt incredibly out of place. An intruder.

Amethyst’s crying became a little louder. “I’m not smart... like Pearl. And I can’t get in on a sports scholarship like you, Ruby, coz I - I’m shit at anything physical. Like, I guess I can tussle someone to the ground... but I can’t ever commit to something serious.”

“I got in through clearing after failing a bunch,” Sapphire tried again. “And no one saw it coming, not even me. I even got to go to the same uni as Ruby. Even if my family wasn’t as thrilled. But it didn’t matter, because it isn’t about anyone else. This is about what you can do.”

“And what CAN I do?” Amy snapped. “As if they’re just gonna let someone in who failed everything but English? And even with that, Lazuli still seems to fucking hate me. It’s the - it’s the only class I thought I could do good in, and she hates me, too, just like the rest of them.”

Lapis’ heart felt like it had dropped to the floor. She stood, quivering a little. Jasper and Peridot’s words from earlier stung. She really didn’t know anything about her students.

“Yeah, well. Lazuli is a cunt,” Ruby muttered.

“Hey, quiet. I swear she’s in the other roo,” Pearl muttered. “I mean, what Ruby’s trying to say is that I’m sure Lazuli barely likes anyone. She seems to hate me, too. And I’ve got a decent rep between the teachers.”

“Yeah,” Sapphire agreed, “she does seem to hate everyone. You’d think it would hurt her to show that she actually gives a shit.”

That hurt, again. Lapis turned, gritting her teeth. I shouldn’t be here.

She tore herself away, but not before hearing the mutters of agreement from the others in the room. The words kept playing back in her mind, as did Peridot’s and Jasper’s, and Lapis found herself wondering if there was anyone who had faith in her.

As she stepped near the bathroom, she found herself oddly close to bitter tears, too. Her students thought she was a cunt. Principal Diamond could be called a cunt. She’d actually hurt people and damaged their reputations. Lapis wasn’t like that, was she? Was she?

She locked the bathroom door, facing the mirror. Her own reflection seemed to show a face that was rather torn in frustration and upset. What was she even doing at the school if her own pupils thought of her so poorly? And Amethyst. Was everyone really so ready to call her a lost cause. Off the wagon. Treat her like gossip at her own home?

Her blood boiled. The final English exam for her class was amongst that of the last few.

Her fist curled. She could fix things. She had to.

If not for herself, then perhaps for the girl who needed support the most.

A few hours later, Pearl found herself in front of Rose’s house. She fished the key out of her bag... and hesitated.

Greg would be there.

Rose wanted her to get along with him.

Pearl sighed, then unlocked the door and put down her bag.

“...Hello?”

The door creaked open, revealing the hallway inside. The typically tidy shoerack seemed to have its usual inhabitants absent. Greg’s voice was faint, he was once again on the phone, tone somewhat uncharacteristically annoyed. It appeared, from his ongoing conversation, that he had not heard Pearl.

Pearl sighed again, came inside and took off her shoes to add them to the shoerack. It sounded like Greg was in the living room. She debated just heading to the spare room. But it would be impolite not to make herself known.

She opened the door to the living room and poked her head in.

“I said, I don’t care! I’m keeping my head outta it, pal.” Greg sat on the sofa, leaning forward with a foot drumming the carpet, his sandal causing a steady ryhythm. “I got away from this entire situation years ago, and I sure as heck ain’t getting dragged right back. Geeze!”

He finally sighed as the muffled noise from the other end ceased, leaning back and letting his phone drop on the sofa. Greg briefly closed his eyes, running a hand to brush his mane of hair back.

Pearl grimaced and shifted awkwardly, opening the door and stepping in. “Uh,” she said. “Hi?”

Greg immediately glanced up and then lifted his hand to deliver an embarassed wave. “Oh, man. Hey. Totally forgot you were swinging by today. Hope you didn’t have to hear too much of that.”

“It’s... fine,” Pearl said. “Uh, I... I will be staying for... a few weeks. You knew that, right?”

“Oh, yeah!” His reply was not entirely convincing. “The spare room, yeah? Oh man, Rose told me about the previous time you stayed there.”

Pearl pulled a face. “That was... not a great time,” she said. “Er, I’ll... be upstairs?”

“Sure! Lemme know if you, uh... need any help?” Greg looked around. “Though, the bed stuff should all be there.”

“I’m sure I’ll be okay. Thanks, though.” Pearl backed out of the room. “I’ll see you later, I guess.”

“Oh... Okay. I’ll... I guess I’ll just stay here.” Greg watched her leave and sighed again as he heard her travel upstairs.

This was going to be a long few weeks, it seemed.

#steven universe #su fanfic #su yellow pearl #su yellow diamond #su pearl #su amethyst #su rose quartz #su lapis lazuli #su peridot #su jasper #greg universe #su human au #educating the victim #etv act 6 #illustrated #animated #sfw

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bloodthirstyreviews · 6 years

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Voltron Legendary Defender

Oh boy.

Just gonna throw all my thoughts into one post because I would probably otherwise flood the joint with them. This started as a genuine review and quickly dissolved into rage. enjoy. this is 1-8 so full of spoilers.

1. Enter: A happy honest to god kids' show. We meet the first 3 kids as they are training at the Garisson: Pidge, Hunk, Lance. Suddenly something crashes from space into the desert near the base, so of course they sneak off to investigate like any good schoolkids would. Enter: Keith. The hot badboy that every series needs. School: dropout. Hair: mullet. Motorcycle: duh. Fingerless gloves: on. Keith is coming to save Shiro, who has been missing for a year, and is also the something that fell from space. (Missed opportunity: falling from heaven pickup lines). Enter Shiro: giving Dad Bod a whole new meaning, and the leader this messy group of kids needs. The 5 find the Blue Lion, which takes them on an autopilot adventure theough time and space. They arrive on a planet home to a peaceful alien race, home to the maker of the blue lion and the other 4 lions that make up Voltron. Yay! Really most of this season is finding the lions, repairing the castle, and figuring out that there is no i in teamwork, Keith. Don’t forget bonding moment. ver import.

2. Still on the happy kid show train for the most part. After a fight with Zarkon the kiddos are all separated to far off planets and get into trouble. They fight the galra a lot, have to fix the castle some more, go to the mall like regular teenagers would. Prep for fighting Zarkon again and whatnot. Big ol battle.

3. In comes Zarkon’s hot son, Lotor. I really love Lotor as a character, instead of charging in headfirst he collects data, is analytical. They form a coalition of rebels to fight the Galra, its some good stuff. But no Shiro, and Keith has to step up as the leader in his absence. They go through the struggles of s1 teambuilding because of the change in lineup.

4. Keith is away a lot training with the Blade of Marmora, trying to learn more about his heritage and where the knife he carries is from. The Blade helps them fight and stuff. They acquire a cow.

5. Shiro shiro shiro you poor bastard. Shiro acts weird and the others notice, but don’t really do anything about it. Zarkon finally dies. But now it’s Lotor. woo. But Lotor wants their help to become emperor of the Galra. Maybe not a bad guy. Loturra etc.

6. Lotor not a bad guy? Lotortron vs galra. KEEF MOMMY YESSSSSSSS. But now Keef is older and hot thanks lance. More Loturra. eugh. I really love the Keith and Mom arc, they get some bonding time for 2 solid years while travelling through space. VLD D&D YOOOOOOOO. Suddenly more Alteans. Lotor evil. This season is such a whirlwind yikes. Keith vs Shiro killed me. Finally get real Shiro back and if that aint a bonding moment good lordy. No longer a kids show. Not in the slightest. I love this season though.

7. the worst. but GARFLE WARFLE SNICK. PONYTAIL KEEF. They go to earth and it’s horrible. “We aren’t going to kill off our lgbt rep” but I guess no show needs two gay characters bye adam. I hate this season, and I really feel like this is where they lost respect from a lot of their viewers. I hate how much they hyped up gay Shiro only to kill off his ex before they can interact again. I hate how much they hyped up gay Shiro only to leave Adashi open to interpretation. They could easily have been best friends or roommates. Nothing in the show says that Shiro is gay or that him and Adam were involved romantically. They hyped and hyped on Twitter, only to leave it so vague.

8.... oh 8. fandom voltron will always be better than canon voltron. that’s what we learned in this season. JDS and LM are full of shit also. “Lance will end up with someone you wont expect” um you mean Allura? Memories of Allura? Alone? Yeah. We expected all of that you trash. And what did we get? All. Of. That.

This season has just left much to be desired. The thoroughly enjoyed the battle scenes and all of that, which there was a ton of, but what I wanted was the characters. There’s been a good amount of character development throughout the series but like holy Lance baby boy oof did he grow up since the start of the fiasco. Pidge and Hunk deserved more development. Hunk just deserved more in every aspect: he’s funny and cooks that’s it. that’s all Hunk gets. At least he gets his waifu unlike anyone else. I guess if you get no plot you get to have a partner that actually makes sense, its a give and take.

Then we have Shiro. He is so damn sexy in that captain’s uniform I just gotta say. The role suits him I think. But the important things. Him and his husband were done such a disservice by the producers. “We aren’t going to just randomly force a relationship” “we dont need romance to develop a character” bull. shit.

Alright yall lets be real. The only LGBT rep in this series is for marketing. Not even going to say queer baiting.

We were straight up used.

“you guys will get to know Adam!” Annnnd him and Shiro break up and then Adam is dead, he gets like half a minute of screen time. Yeah we really “got to know him”. Even after marketing had Adam on it... and they used a lot of rainbows and shit after they announced Shiro was gay.

Then Shiro is randomly getting married only a year later. To who? ? Why is it that none of the other paladins are married, but the original leader of voltron, the knight in shining armor trope man, is the only one getting married and not really doing anything important like the rest of them??????

It was an afterthought. Cheaply written in to win the queer rep points. Like yay a gay kiss on tv but also. Yay another gay wedding in kids tv. but I don’t like how they did it and its horrible rep. We get 2 weddings in kids animation, but how many straight weddings have there been?

THEY THROW IT IN BECAUSE WE’RE SO UNDERREPRESENTED IN MEDIA THAT WE’LL EAT UP EVEN THE TINIEST SLIVER OF ALMOST REP AND THEY KNOW THAT AND JUST EXPLOIT IT. It’s no different from random brands putting rainbows on their packaging during pride month so they’ll be bought and favored in the queer community, whether the company stands for gay marriage or not. It’S ALL FUCKING MARKETING QERKJGERJNGERJH I HATE IT.

THIS IS NO LONGER

GOOD

ENOUGH

REP.

WE DESERVE BETTER.

#vld #voltron legendary defender #vld s8 spoilers #uggghhhh #tv reviews

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 6 years

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Wonky preliminary thoughts

I watched the episode once this morning then I’ve been various degrees of busy and sickly so the episode is sort of nebulous in my mind but I want to throw down the thoughts I remember thinking this morning... on a second watch I could change my mind. Honestly I don’t even know yet what this post is going to be like. I’m gonna make it up as I go. Let’s find out together.

- It’s a finale baby

Okay I haven’t touched my dash but I know my chickens and I know there’s gonna be wank, because people forget that every year when the finale comes out no one likes it. That’s it, that’s the finale, expectations are high because finales are supposed to be epic so people end up disappointed, some things were predicted 8 weeks prior and people complain that they were too obvious, some things were unexpected and people complain they came out of the blue, some people say Cas wasn’t in it enough some people write down explanations why his part was actually meaningful, you know the drill. This has been a typical finale: Dean makes The Sacrificial Decision (having Death kill him, become the soul bomb...) and things don’t just work the way he expected them to (sometimes positively like with Amara, sometimes negatively like with Michael).

I personally expected Dean to let Michael (although until recently I supposed it could be the original version of him) in since 13x15 (the showrunner’s own meta manifesto relatively to the ‘reverse season 5/reverse Swan Song’ nature of the final part of the season) and that it would be about shouldering himself the task of getting Lucifer killed since 13x20 (where he goes after Loki himself and is not enthusiastic about Sam’s revenge intents against Lucifer), and heck the ‘I let you in but you provide the power but I’m behind the wheel’ kind of speech was something I pictured in a thousand scenarios, so I didn’t get any shocks from that part of the episode’s plot, but I still enjoyed how we got there. And then, Lucifer is dead! *celebration noise coming from the fandom*

- Um okay let’s say you did your best

Okay, the impression I got from my first watch: the script worked, but the episode got wonky in its execution. Not even the special effects (insert a wonky gold star for the trying) but I remember being unimpressed by the sound/music? Is it just me? Like, sometimes the sound choices were too over the top? There were also overdramatic zooms but that’s Supernatural, and Supernatural without overdramatic zooms is like Supernatural without the Winchesters.

I liked the recap montage a lot (what do you think came first, Rowena’s line about the music or the idea of having that line inside the season to use it for the finale recap?). I got a bit sad because there was a lot of Wayward Sisters in it, and it would have been better if the finale came in a moment of celebration for it happening rather than anger and bitterness for the CW’s choices. Something I felt missing from the last portion of the season was Jody, but I was obviously okay with it because she was missing in preparation of her role in the spin-off. If we can’t change the network’s decision, I hope next season is packed with those characters.

Anyway, back to the episode - it was weird at times, you all know what times, let’s just run with it and make jokes.

- But in season 5 they said--

No, the act itself of Michael killing Lucifer wasn’t what was going to kill half the planet’s population. It was that act inside the large picture of that spell-like orchestration that was the apocalypse (seals, horsemen, omens, stuff like that). I would argue the large-scale damage that was expected wasn’t an accidental consequence, but kind of the whole point of the apocalypse. I hate myself for bringing it up, but you know Thanos killing half the people to ~save the universe~ or whatever dangerously ambiguous nazi crap that dumbasses have actually fallen for because Marvel is just that bad and dangerously ambiguously conservative? I think that the archangels kind of were similar to that mindset, making a huge sacrifice of humans to bring ~paradise~ because they were tired or whatever. You know, I know some people don’t think Supernatural is particularly progressive, but in the current media climate not framing the mass-murderous, abusive characters with nazi-coded intents as the actual heroes is apparently too progressive for some, so kudos to Supernatural for not making Lucifer or Michael the hero of the story but to stick to common sense and decency. (I know, this part is not about Supernatural but just me being salty at Marvel, but let me, please.)

- So while we’re talking about this...

I can say that what Supernatural did with Lucifer in season 13, in my opinion, has been really good. I’ve never been afraid they were going to ‘redeem’ him, so I wasn’t worried or bothered by the story throwing the tools of redemption at him. Because not only he didn’t pick them up, he couldn’t see them even if they hit him in the face. He didn’t understand what redemption even means. He kept seeing himself as the misunderstood victim, so instead of bettering himself he just felt sorry for himself, and completely missed the point of a ‘second chance’ or whatever he claimed he was after. So, eventually, it was all a lie. I think Lucifer’s “I’ve changed” attitude was partly a schemed lie (because he’s not that clueless), partly something he was convinced of himself, because he has his head up his ass enough to actually believe he was a poor victim. I think this narrative hits the nail on the head - white male fragility works like that, the men wrapped in toxic masculinity and male entitlement think they’re the victims of a big bad oppression from women and queer people and non-white people. But they’re just pathetic, and when the bubble bursts, all they can do is scream in rage and their ‘nice guy’ persona disappears. Lucifer’s 180° change of attitude towards Jack reminded me of the nice guys who start throwing all sorts of disgusting invectives against women after being rejected. So yeah, I think that Lucifer’s arc this season was sort of relevant, if you want to interpret it like this.

Either way, Supernatural, unlike some other pieces of media, doesn’t actually try to make you sympathize with abusive, violent, misogynistic men (unless they actually show to be self-aware and to seek change, and again you aren’t meant to sympathize with their bad side! Toxic masculinity is supposed to be bad, and slaughtering billions of innocents not justified for any reason, and especially does not make you the hero and the ones fighting to save the people the actual villains! *gasp*). There was even a clear dig at Trump, and I am pretty sure that’s Dabb’s answer to accusations of not being clear enough on the subject...

So yeah, I think this season’s big bad was an allegory for white male entitlement and the ‘nice guy’ victim complex, and Dean stabbed him (I’d say with the help of a Black man, sure it’s actually Michael another villain but momentary symbolism, I guess? Or maybe that just isn’t supposed to be relevant.) I felt someone cheer that was still bitter that Sam killed Alastair. You just know someone out there was still bitter about it. I mean it was teamwork, of course, but Dean provided the power and the stab. Oh, Dean letting Michael in to acquire the power to kill Lucifer (who killed Cas and Sam) as a parallel for Sam’s demon blood usage to acquire the power to kill Lilith (who killed Dean) *insert lengthy reflection here*

- Speaking of parallels--

Someone was irked at the apparent belief across fandom that Dean leaving Sam to the vampires in the cave was ~the codepencency being broken~? (I am not a fan of analyzing the show in these terms that have become so simplified, in case you’re wondering.) And of course now we see that that wasn’t so simple, because Dean makes the same face when Sam disappears with Lucifer and Jack, and Cas tries to stop him, but Dean decides to do the sacrificial decision (did he really expect Michael to keep the deal, really really?). But! (I wasn’t saying that things are still stuck in the 10x23 mud puddle, don’t misunderstand me!) This time it’s not just about Sam, it’s about Lucifer being set on really breaking dad’s toys on a large scale this time. Dean Winchester gives up his humanity to save humanity, because that’s his middle name, and not just to save his brother at the cost of harming the universe. Of course Michael is still on the loose and with a stronger vessel now, but hey, one threat at a time... But I also think there’s something significant with the fact that the last sequence of the episode shows Michael on earth, looking in his element and satisfied about it - to stop Lucifer, Sam, with Lucifer inside, went to hell; to stop Lucifer, Dean, with Michael inside... is on earth. Of course, next season he’ll probably be involved with heaven and whatnot, but I think there’s something significant there, but I’d wait to make much meta about Michael-in-Dean when we actually are shown more about it.

- So, overall?

Overall it was a good finale! Satisfying to have Jack discover Lucifer’s true nature and the nice guy lie shatter, emotional the Jack stuff, powerful that we didn’t see Dean actually getting possessed and Cas seeing it but only Cas being fraught about it, just there, kind of like the narrative was telling us, what do you even expect Cas’ face while losing Dean to Michael to look like? Now, this post is long enough and I’ll need a rewatch and some health points more to analyze the details, but I am sure that I’m going to enjoy analyzing them.

- And what now?

Oh, I expect a lot of fanworks of Charlie and Rowena during the hiatus. It’s probably already started...

Alright, more coherent and hopefully meaningful thoughts coming shortly (...maybe) to your screens ^-^

#my spn thoughts #spn spoilers #spn 13x23 #spn meta #spn

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pasta-abomination · 8 years

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Well, Supergirl, it’s been fun.

When I first heard of the show last year, it was this—maybe a little cheesy, but that’s comics—fun show with a focus on relationships between women of all different types, a show about a woman growing up and coming into her own and finding her place in the world. And, of course, Kara and Alex. The sisterhood at the heart of the show. Of course there were some things that could’ve been done better—but it became clearer and clearer that it was an honest effort.

I hope you know how much of a leap of faith it took to follow Supergirl to the CW, as a queer woman. I hope you know that that’s—in my entirely unprofessional opinion—an indicator of how much good faith this show had. This show literally got the CW’s foot in the door with a demographic that it had all but completely alienated by this time last year.

I think it’s safe to say you’ve used that up.

I believe that representation matters. But it doesn’t begin and end with Sanvers. And this season I have watched:

1. A black man and a beloved DC character sidelined as a love interest with no warning, no real explanation, and no further treatment of it—now, as we know, to pair off Kara with the frat-boy reincarnation of Lar Gand   2. Kara’s entire arc this season (both Danvers sisters, actually) be reduced to her love interest. Jeremiah who?   3. The eighty millionth regurgitation of the “love of a good woman” trope. I don’t need to go into why this is inappropriate on so many levels in a supposedly feminist show that’s marketed towards young women and girls (but I will anyways).   4. Characterization and continuity thrown out the window in order to make Mon-El look good and drive the plot.    For Jeremiah’s deception to fool everyone but Mon-El, not only do we have to assume that it never occurred to trained government operatives that he could be a plant, we also have to believe that a) no one examined him at the DEO, b) if they did, no one knows the difference between a robotic arm and a human one, and c) we have to forget that Hank/J’onn is a literal mind reader.    You can only excuse so much before it starts to look like you’re tearing down your title character and your actual core ensemble in order to make a character relevant to the plot.  5. Kara repeatedly insist that she doesn’t like Mon-El, she doesn’t want to be around him—only to have him harass her until she dates him (or forgives him).   6. Alex “Come near my family and I will end you” Danvers push her sister repeatedly at a man who Kara has openly expressed dislike for multiple times; who, once they’re dating, disrespects and lies to her repeatedly. She excuses his behavior on more than one occasion. (Are we sure they haven’t all been replaced with White Martians?)   7. Watch Kara be put in a position (sometimes transparently contrived, as in “Homecoming”) where she either has to apologize to Mon-El because he’s been justified by the narrative, or, for some unknown reason (usually prodding from another character, like Alex or the Music Meister), decides to forgive him. Over and over and over again.   8. An actual episode, supposedly focused on the Danvers family, where Mon-El has more screen time than the actual lead and drives a plot he isn’t even relevant to.

This show was, nominally, about Kara Danvers. Her as a whole person; trauma, family, grief, rage, jealousy—and her deep desire in spite of what she’d been through to give back to her adoptive home and do the right thing. It was about her professional life, trying to make her way in the world and working for the kind of woman that could help her learn how to do those things. It was about her assumptions being challenged—not narratively bludgeoned—and her learning. But most of all, it was about her becoming her own person. A whole person.

That show is gone. Her single main arc this season as a character is rehabilitating the galaxy’s most unrepentant frat boy by… arguing with him a lot and constantly being pushed to a point where she’s ready to break up with him, apparently. People are so quick to say “But he’s learning!”; “But Kara’s a stick-in-the-mud!”; “She’s prejudiced too!” (I’m pretty sure you call “prejudice” against a shameless misogynist “standards”, but what do I know, I’m gay). They’re missing the point. And that is:

Kara’s story now revolves around Mon-El.

Arguments and evenings with him have entirely replaced “sister nights” at the end of the episodes. His secrets, his disrespect, his actions, are now driving her development as a character. She mostly only reacts to events outside of that, like another threat from Cadmus, or rescuing Lena Luthor, or whatever’s happening with Jeremiah—but her stance towards those events is reactive.

In other words, Kara no longer drives her own story.

And Kara has lost her job at CatCo. That job that, last year, “kept her connected” to the people she was trying to serve? Disappeared with a whimper after a similarly half-assed treatment to the search for Jeremiah. Kara no longer has a professional life.

But okay. I’m gay; clearly I don’t understand what it’s like to be heterosexual, or in a relationship, and I’m obviously only in this for the Supercorp, right? I should just stay in my lane. I have Sanvers! What else could I possibly want?

Funny you should ask.

Flip side of Alex’s story—I’ve lived in queer communities. I’ve watched friends come out. Women who thought they were straight.

And I watched them struggle with the things they’ve been taught about relationships. What they should want and what’s acceptable from a partner. What love looks like, on that micro, interpersonal level. Things that are, in many ways, inextricably intertwined with gender, in our culture.

Mon-El is the closest thing I can think of to an embodiment of all those things that they struggle to unlearn. Mon-El—and stories like this one—are exactly how they learned those things.

Let me remind you, in case you’ve forgotten, that while the queer lady fanbase for shows tends to have a much wider age range, this show is primarily directed at young women and girls.

A show that’s marketed as “female-centric” has in fact become a show about a woman fixing a man—a man who, incidentally, doesn’t want to be fixed. He just wants to keep banging her.

And these girls are going to grow up and become women—straight or not—who will go out into the world thinking that this is normal. That this is acceptable—to be lied to repeatedly, to have your requests for privacy disregarded, your family spoken to rudely and your parents treated with hostility and suspicion, to have your house broken into, be accused of sleeping with someone by a jealous not-boyfriend, to shoulder the entire emotional weight of making the relationship work by forgiving him over and over and over again—

—Because in the end, the story goes, that will make him (them) better.

The reality is, so often, that it doesn’t. That a person will happily continue taking advantage of someone’s good faith if they think they can get away with it. That jealous behavior like Mon-El exhibits often escalates into physical violence. That a dude who seemingly doesn’t care is often exactly what he seems. Someone who doesn’t want to change will not change, no matter how “much” you love them.

That you owe it to that person to stay with them and pour all your effort into a relationship; that sure, you “deserve better” than to be lied to—But you’re still a terrible person if you don’t give them another chance.

Compared with a relationship that only gets five minutes of screen time most episodes, it feels a little bit like I’m expected to be happy with what I’m offered as a member of the queer female demographic and ignore the utterly cringe-worthy toxicity of the Kara/Mon-El relationship, the abrupt and kinda racist way James was removed from the field, the terrible narrative choices, the plot holes so big you could lose Fort Rozz in them, and, oh yeah—that Supergirl is no longer Kara’s story. It’s the story of Mon-El’s rehabilitation.

I can’t celebrate the representation I’ve wanted for fifteen years when it means I have to ignore the destructive messages the rest of this show is pushing.

And, kinda like a car crash, it’s becoming increasingly clear that whoever is driving this story is not letting off the gas. I don’t know why. But I can see it coming, so I’m bailing.

I want to support positive queer representation. I want to support shows about women, and their stories—all of them. It’s what made me willing to take a risk on this show after the move was announced.

But Supergirl is no longer that story. And damn, I wish it were different. But I recognize the signs. And I’m gonna be spending my Monday evenings watching something else. Something I can enjoy without feeling like I’m throwing anyone who’s not me under the bus. Hanging on and waiting for a change that’s never gonna come.

#supergirl #sanvers #karolsen #supercorp #kara danvers #anti-mon-el #tokenism #i am not here to be used to sell a toxic relationship

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killingdoll · 7 years

Text

Warnings: spoilers, inappropriate jokes (it’s ranting; what do you expect?), careless language, messing up the order of the events

‘Tis a peaceful day of the Mikaelsons…

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, no squirrels are eaten and it’s a lovely day in… I’m sorry, where are the Mikaelsons?!

In the middle of nowhere, right. Even Klaus says it out loud.

Nice manor tho.

The Mikaelsons sure are early risers… or they just don’t have the need to sleep after sleeping for 5 years.

Nate just nailed Bratty Kol *thumbs up*.

The way Elijah’s hands are frozen in the holding position for some seconds after Kol snatches the newspaper

It may have happened a lot in the dream world.

Klaus took the time to shower and groom himself properly. Gotta look dashing for his little girl.

… but he forgets to groom his temper obviously. Perfect timing, bro (y).

Hope’s looking intimidated and confused. I wonder if Hayley had ever taken her to the attic to ‘meet’ her aunts and uncles or just told Hope about them. But Hayley must have shown her pictures, no?

Anw, first impression isn’t so good.

Klaus’s looking so hurt he doesn’t dare follow his little her into the garden. Aw.

Ooh, flashback and even better, it’s flashback of Vincent and Eva.

Maisie’s beautiful af.

Eva seems so nice and sweet I can hardly reconcile this Eva with the evil witch in the second season.

So Sophie Deveraux had a gift of telling that a woman’s pregnant. That’s how she was able to tell Hayley was pregnant in the first season. Makes sense.

Vincent’s gonna be a father. Considering we haven’t heard even one mention of his kid today we can safely assume it was either stillborn or got taken away. Anw, bad things happened.

Oh, Will… How I miss thee. Thought he was offed by some rascal vampires in the last season finale. His status has been officially promoted to the show’s human token. Is it too much to ask the scriptwriters to please not kill him off?

Seeing Eva and Will does give me hope that perhaps we can get to meet a few old faces (but not Caroline please), namely a certain crazy redhead and her equally crazy but devoting brother. Their fates were cliffhanging in the last episode and I’d prefer the writers tight up the loose ends. In other words, if they have to get rid of Tristan and Aurora then just kill them off and be done with it.

Back to the Mikaelsons.

Klaus’s bonding with Hope seems to go rather well, except that Hope’s drawing that creepy blue circle and later seeing it.

Hope’s doing magic!!! Without Freya’s teaching her any spells yet!!

The magic she uses to heal the butterfly is pretty much the same as Freya’s when she reunited with Finn in season 2.

Kind of feel sorry for Keelin until she accuses Hayley of betraying her kind for a bunch of vampires. What has Hayley done that can be considered betraying her own kind, girl?

But Freya sure is brutal when it comes to protecting her family. And she’s bit cranky as well. Very much like a pre-Hope Klaus.

And Keeling nonchalantly reveals that she’s queer.

I’m not the only one sensing Freya x Keelin vibes, right?

And why Freya’s unhurt after she’s hit by Keelin’s car?? Weird.

Meanwhile Kol and Rebekah are musing their life matters over a fresh corpse. Who’s gonna clean up after, I wonder.

Pretty a foreshadowing of their leaving, which happens near the end of the episode. But it’s alright, they’ll come back soon enough, especially when trouble is brewing at home.

I find it extremely refreshing that the enemy this time doesn’t seem to be the Mikaelsons’ result of centuries of mistreating others, or does it?

Vincent’s recollection of how the book landed in his possession is creepy enough. So, was he possessed and unknowingly wrote it or it just copied the handwriting of its ‘owner’ for the sake of messing their mind?

Why the serpents though? Is it some sort of ancient creatures/monsters?

Whatever it is, let’s hope when it’s brought into the light, it won’t be a gargantuan disappointment like Cade aka the (lame) Devil.

Aw, look at Klaus’s reaction when Hope surprises him with a gesture of affection. 1000-year-old Original hybrid, Big Bad Wolf, everyone’s nightmare, totally baffled. You’d better get used to them, man, ‘cuz you’ll be getting a lot of them from now.

The blue light again.

Nice to see the old Strix mansion. Less nice to see it become a sacrificial ground for some creepy-ass dude that may or may not make it through the episode.

Creepy-ass dude whose name we may never know knocks down Marcel. Creepy-ass dude: 1, Marcel: 0

Actually, make it 2 since Marcel’s a super vampire now.

Creepy-ass dude may be creepy af but he’s one strong witch.

Shouldn’t we be surprised that Hope’s among the kids targeted? No, we shouldn’t.

Which leads us right back to the Mikaelsons’ mansion, and Hope’s nose-bleeding. Never a not-worrying sign for a witch.

Can we just have a few seconds appreciating Hayley’s running out to her daughter in her underwear and Elijah’s shirt.

The vampire-hybrid sex earlier is hot af, and I’m not even a Haylijah Not to mention the “I love you” confessions from both of them. Hard to get a screenshot of the bedroom scene tho as they keep vamp-speeding like that.

Are they fighting for domination on bed?

“She needs me. I need both of you. We’re a family.” Kudos for Hayley.

So the family’s back to New Orleans. Freya’s probably staying home.

The exorcism of Eva looks creepy enough.

And then there’s Will, clearly possessed, slitting an officer’s throat and driving the children to God-know-where.

Last but not least, Kol and Rebekah’s on their road trip (after taking a nice car from some random victim). Hope to see them again soon; they still have some bonding with their little niece to do.

Looking forward to the next episode.

[Rant] Haunter of Ruins – The Originals 4×03 Warnings: spoilers, inappropriate jokes (it’s ranting; what do you expect?), careless language, messing up the order of the events…

#elijah mikaelson #freya mikaelson #hayley marshall #haylijah #hope mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #kol mikaelson #marcel gerard #original groupies #rebekah mikaelson #the mikaelsons #the originals #vincent griffith

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survivoratomic-acadia · 6 years

Text

Confessionals!

Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!

5/22

Tim

WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!

Aren

Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!

QuilLynn

So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho

Stephen

Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.

Aundra

"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.

my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.

Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao xoxo, gossip girl "

5/23

Madison

TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST.

Dan

"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.

This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.

I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "

Sarah

"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!

First season winner and flop returning again.

I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!

Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)

I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me

So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love

Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK

Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!

Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA

Anyways ill be back later with more news"

Aundra

"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me

Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely Xoxo, gossip girl "

Tim

"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great

Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite

Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas

Me: Guess I'll just... write."

Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!

Stephen

"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."

Duncan

https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk

Aundra

"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018

I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”

That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W Xoxo, gossip girl "

Dan

"Our story is........... garbage honestly.

What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "

Heather

Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.

5/24

Duncan

so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel? think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3

Luke

"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!

Opinions on my tribe:

Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!

Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.

Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:

Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.

Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.

Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!

Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!

Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1

[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "

Dana

"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!

Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.

Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "

Jay

I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia

Heather

Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe

Sam

Wig going okay so far!!

Ruthie

I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself. I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!

Tim

Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"

Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.

This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.

Ali

just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)

Sammy

okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.

Aundra

"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good

QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason xoxo, gossip girl"

Carson

"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.

Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "

Stephen

So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.

Julia

So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc

Chris Stoner

"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.

Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.

I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "

5/25

Heather

SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit

Tim

Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!

Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!

Heather

I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.

5/26

Aundra

"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos) xoxo, gossip girl P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it. "

Chris Stoner

Nothing much. We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon

Dan

So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee

Luke

Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool

Sammy

ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!!

Ruthie

So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!!

Quil

So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH.

Duncan

its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space mountain so badly, i dont want to go.

5/27

Duncan

Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later

5/28

Tim

Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.

Carson

HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

Aundra

"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops? Xoxo, gossip girl "

Jay

I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.

Dan

I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (:

5/29

Dana

Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat.

Tim

Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!

Ruthie

"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days! As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week. I think it was SO lucky too hehe.

I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "

Aundra

"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol Xoxo, gossip girl "

Quil

the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!

Luke

My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!

5/30

Chris Stoner

So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe.

5/31

Dan

I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal

Ruthie

My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess

Sammy

nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.

Ruthie

I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow.

Sarah

I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all

Quil

"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"

6/1

Duncan

Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit

Sammy

literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/

Ruthie

So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing

Tim

It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.

Olivia

REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION

Carson

Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew

Aundra

"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed / xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"

6/2

Stoner

. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working.

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2

[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!

[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me

[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan

[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional

Heather

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM

This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"

Luke

AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^

Dan

We won woo love life no one talks to me

Carson

We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!

Jay

I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/

6/5

Sammy

woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.

6/6

Carson

"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.

Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."

Tim

Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX

Sarah

I hate hate my tribe pt 4

Quil

So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)

Heather

WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe.

Luke

wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win

Madison

IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA.

In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out?

6/7

Dan

"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.

I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"

Duncan

Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on

Tim

Fuck my game with this swap huh.

Aundra

"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder Xoxo gossip goat "

Dan

Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt.

6/10

Tim

Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!

Quil

Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!

Aundra

"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out! Xoxo gossip goat"

Luke

"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)

I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway

Ugh my mind"

Duncan

I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives

Heather

Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh.

Dan

This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)

Ruthie

"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!

I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see! I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "

6/11

Heather

We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.

Dan

I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that.

Aundra

"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean Xoxo gossip goat "

6/12

Tim

Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!

Quil

Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes

Tim

So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.

Luke

"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...

I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"

Sammy

ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....

Madison

"Me: throws immunity

Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.

Am I mad? Not particularly. "

Aundra

"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things Xoxo gossip goat"

6/13

Tim

I MADE MERGE WOOOO

6/14

Luke

"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.

After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "

Duncan

I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack

Dan

Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people

Heather

"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"

Carson

God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!

Madison

Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!

6/15

Sammy

okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....

6/16

Duncan

I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over

Madison

"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "

Dan

"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???

I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.

Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "

Madison

WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo

6/17

Olivia

Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild.

6/20

Dan

"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.

Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "

6/21

Dan

"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.

I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "

6/24

Dan

"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.

Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.

I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"

6/27

Dan

This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)

#donttaketherocks

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