#ogs & people who remember recall the TRUE NAME

[vellichorom]

" thought about changing thierry's name " i said, completely forgetting about

[welcometomybraincomics]

Differences between Station and Cybertronian culture

◦ Station mechs are heavily versatile and are accustomed to working many jobs and interacting with many different species on a peaceful level (so long as they are not attacked first)

◦ Many Stationers don’t remember their name and this have nicknames. Some mechs can’t remember their name when asked to recall it and this have multiple nicknames applied by different groups of mechs (Ex. The twins, Sparkeater, and Search and Rescue)

◦ Almost every Station Mech has some kind of disability whether it be physical or mental and thus they are very used to accommodating to unusual needs (some damages they don’t have the knowledge to repair, even if they have the parts)

◦ The second generation of Stationers call the first, those who were originally Autobots and Decepticons, Emblem Mechs since the newsparks are forged without the faction badges

◦ Station mechs are considerably more family like, stemming from their small groups/population and constant close proximity and view hard lining as a form of sharing information and trust rather than a form of sex or the like. Some (mostly droids) don’t even view it as a sign of trust and just as the most straight forward way to get information (true information as well, you can’t really lie when the other party can search through your memories)

◦ The population of the stations is max 3,000 mechs (maybe change the total pop to that of a town? Max 200,000?) with at least 500 being newframes who were onlined within 2 thousand years that they had been separated from the rest of the Cybertronian population (smallest station has approx. 200 mechs on it in total. The OG settlement has the highest population)

◦ Most Station groups live on the ship’s they onlined to or on planets and asteroids they have found suitable to live upon (no hostile and enough fuel to last them quite a while). A few ships choose to explore further or simply ferry trade between the settled groups (stations) originally, everyone lived in one settlement but when resources started running out, teams set out to find more and some started the stations. The bulk of the population still lives in the original community

◦ The stations could actually be seen as worse than Decepticons or Shattered Glass Autobots because they don’t kill. They maim and torture bodily and mentally, but no matter the punishment, they never kill. It’s a waste of resources and mechs. They already have so few to begin with and there are several mechs who have systems and knowledge that is very useful. Killing them would be a waste. So instead, in a situation where most would kill, they torture to get across their point. If they know that person will not cooperate even after the torture, then they take out their brain module and spark and set them up in a system where they can still access all that bot’s information and occasionally their consciousness the. Dismantle their body to help repair other bots or smelt it down to recycle. If those people decide they want to cooperate and get another body, they get one much smaller than their original (unless they’re a mini bot). 

◦ Shadow play is not unheard of and neither is slave coding, but they go by different names. Command code for slave coding and attitude adjustment and memory tampering for Shadow play. Neither have nearly as bad of a reaction on the stations as they do on Cybertron, but Command coding is slowly being recalled after realizing that most mechs that have it (sparkless droids) are not mindless and that a lot of unnecessary violence is caused by the trouble in communication caused by Command code.

◦ Most punishment, however, is done through scolding and shame and guilt. Public humiliation wouldn’t be surprising

◦ The stations work more with bartering than actual currency, so a lot of bots carry a bunch of little odds and ends on them rather than cash 

◦ With organics, if they can’t trade items for fuel, they trade in services. This is how quite a few end up working in mines. They help the organics get what they want and in return they get fuel (whether found in the mine or elsewhere) for the rest of their station/stations if there’s enough to export.

◦ There are certain areas of space where bots just can’t be exposed at certain times because there’s radiation and electronic storms that will FUCK UP their systems. They call it a wipe when someone gets stuck in those because their entire systems get wiped, no memory and sometimes no programming, and they have to start completely over from scratch like they’re a sparkling. People like that are marked with a yellow stripe to the side of the helm meaning “get this little fucker inside quick so they won’t get wiped again” as well as “ please be patient, they’re starting over from scratch.”  Some bots recover faster than others, but some just have to be plopped in a care center with sparklings because everyone else is busy and have no idea how to work with a wiped mech. If there is someone who knows how to help a wiped mech recover, they’re given time to get the mech back on their feet.

---

For a little more context look at Robits, The Epic Train Wreck Dumpsterfire of a Transformers sidestory AU

[signalwatch]

20 Years of Blogging, Part 2 - Together, We're a League of Something!

Editor's note:  This is Part 2 of a series.  You can view the first part with just the click of a button.  

also, this is a cross-post with the OG blog, League of Melbotis

So, yeah.  

By April of 2003, we were blogging.  For a look at the initial form of League of Melbotis on Blogspot/ Blogger, click on over to The Wayback Machine.  

As mentioned in the first post, soon I was emailing and managing comments from friends and strangers.  But, also, some of those pals already had their own blogs or quickly started one.  It was easy, often free, and gave folks a chance to speak their mind.  People were religious about their choice of platform.  Livejournal people developed quite the mythologizing about themselves that arguably continues to this day. WordPress users constantly complained about what they were using but refused to change.  

JimD started his first blog of many.  RHPT joined in.  Soon I was aware of Maxwell (she of the podcast) starting up Cowboy Funk, which detailed her life as a Texas ex-pat in NYC.  I knew her husband before we met via his own web-presence and mentions on the blog.  

Even folks like MikeS who recently did The Raid PodCast here at The Signal Watch kept a blog, along with a number of other people I still keep in touch with one way or another.  We sometimes wound up meeting in person (Natalie showed up to have BBQ with me for my birthday circa 2007!), and sometimes I never knew who folks were on the other end of a handle.  There's still folks I talk to occasionally here in 2023 I've never met.  Meanwhile, some commenters have stayed at my house.  I've been drinking twice with Randy.

Here's a list of then-active links from the blog from 2007.  

and sometimes Randy is in the Phantom Zone

There were a whole bunch of you!  I don't even remember who was behind some of these.  And, yes, there was briefly a store at Zazzle, I think.  My pal Denby recently sent me a pic of the official mug of the League of Melbotis, making me about spit out my coffee.

And, similarly, by 2007, we were comics-linking.

There's a mix of comic sites and blogs, including my brief dalliance with writing for another site, the now defunct and gone Comic Fodder.  But there's Bully.  Weird I wasn't linking to Progressive Ruin at the time.  I know I followed Mike.  Ah, the folly of youth.

The first year or so was kind of strange.  I was just doing my thing, but much like when I selected bands to listen to or what books to read or movies to watch, I didn't consult with my folks.  Nor did I tell them "I started a blog".  

I don't recall when I told my brother.  And because I wasn't using my real name, I don't really remember how folks found out about it.  But the internet was a small place in the Naughty Oughties.  But, yeah, soon enough my brother was a regular reader and started his own blog.

Somehow my cousin found the blog, who asked my parents about it, so then they knew.  And... man, one of the weirdest interactions I've ever had with my parents was explaining to them that they didn't get to tell me what I put on the internet.  Especially not at age 29 or so.  I don't even really recall what the topic was, but something rubbed them the wrong way, and I heard about it.  And I welcomed them to not read the blog, and that didn't go well.  But it was a learning moment for all of us.  

It's also worth noting, the first generation of bloggers had grown up with a basic education that included literacy re: journalism.  We understood that your job when going to print was to not lie or bullshit except for comedic effect.  You really did research and worked to get your facts as close to accurate as possible given limited resources, if you were going to tell a true story.  *And* unless you were a classless dick, if someone presented you with contrary evidence, you adjusted.  Sure, there were nasty debates in comments, but if you wanted some integrity, you generally tried.

The monetization of the blogs and news-sites was not yet in place.  The model back in the 00's was not to crank through 10 "stories" per day for pop culture sites.  If you wanted your blog to have any credibility, you kind of needed to adhere to *something* of a journalistic standard.  Unlike most comics and pop sites today, one did not glance at Wikipedia or try to remember what someone told you over beers and then rank starfleet captains from best to worst after lunch before moving on to five more short and badly thought-out articles.

I'm not pretending League of Melbotis was a bastion of journalistic integrity, but I did genuinely grind my teeth when it came to accepting items for review, any contact with creatives lest it impact my opinion of the work, and other things that impact your life less when you're writing about movies from 1945 as my current blogging has slowly morphed into.  

Arguably, I wasn't wrong on the comics-front.  Once CBR and Newsarama decided access to DC and Marvel's talent pool was super important (and they were clearly being played for chumps by the pros), it was the start of the end for either site being worth a look.

But comics weren't the only topic we covered, of course.  We talked TV and movies to a degree, especially if they were about comics.  

We also had some regular features.

Ask Melbotis was a column where folks could write in and ask my dog anything under the sun.  

We had regular interaction events where we'd put out a question to readers and print their response.  Folks would write in about their best Halloween costumes or tell their favorite spooky story.  We did this for Christmas, too, and maybe some other events.  Mostly, I was always delighted at the time and effort folks put in.  I can't imagine any readers doing this now.  Heck, no one comments anymore.

There was a controversial feature named "Dames In the Media the League Once Dug" which was more or less me writing about attractive women from TV and films, and what it lacked in taste, it somehow bottomed-out with being woefully uninteresting.  We *did* give Jamie equal time and a chance to write up on Dudes, but she rarely took me up on it.

There were posts on living a Super Lifestyle that went modestly viral.  The funniest thing to me about this post now is that it's such a 20-something or 30-year-old's take on what it means to have a collection.  Friends, this was but the beginning, and now a fraction of the collection as it currently exists.  Maybe I need to re-do this post for the next Superman film.

And, we also went semi-viral with with a post I wrote about working at Chuck E. Cheese.  The only reason this post exists is that I flew to Minneapolis a day before a conference and forgot to bring my coat and was trapped in the hotel.  And yet, people really took a shine to my no-holds-barred take on my first job.

There were, also, of course, the taste tests.  

I'm not sure "regret" is how I feel about the taste tests, but then people start writing in telling you to eat things you really don't *want* to eat.  And you realize you've become the carnival geek on some level.  I'm not saying they weren't usually kind of fun, but...

Look, one thing that was kind of true was that people started making requests for content.  And that's both very sweet and a slippery slope.  Some ideas you want to do, but most you do not.  And while there's clickable reasons to follow the whims of your readership, I wasn't getting paid for this, so I wasn't really beholden to do anything I didn't feel like doing.  But if you're just writing or doing tricks for readers...  well, that's why YouTubers tend to come off like shrieking morons.

With the current blog, I don't think I've had a request for me to cover anything in the past five or ten years.  I'm watching movies.  The formula is simple.  But with the original formula League of Melbotis, I suppose it seemed like we were up for whatever.  And I am not that guy.  I'm chipper here, but I'm a bit grumpy in the flesh.  We *do* get requests for movies on the PodCast, but generally that just means I extend an invitation to come on, and people do!  It's not bad!

One reason I wanted to just do whatever I felt like was that I needed an outlet .  I haven't talked about it much so far in the prior post, but upon review I'm surprised is mentioned so much on LoM - Jamie was very ill when we lived in Phoenix.  We were in and out of the hospital a staggering amount.  And not just Jamie, it often felt like we were dealing with a variety of issues with friends and family.  I had a whole tag for "hospital".  

So, yeah, part of the pivot from League of Melbotis-style blogging to the media-discussion of The Signal Watch was that I no longer wanted to be as open of a book about our personal business.  I felt like that chapter had closed.  I'd enjoyed the LoM experience and appreciated folks reading and following and reaching out.  But I also wanted to keep our life separate from a blog anyone could stumble onto.  

But rather than end this section on a downbeat note, I'll also remind folks of the Clambake Jake's incident which certainly helped color how I wanted to proceed and shone a light on how being online had real-world impact going both ways. 

Basically, we went to a new Italian All You Care To Eat Buffet, it was bad, I wrote about it, and the owner called the house lightly threatening us.  

In the end, I did agree that I could accidentally torpedo a new business, and I embargoed the post until a couple of years after Clambake Jake's went under.  But it was absolutely a wild ride.

 https://ift.tt/cY8wIH5

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/qRHLy8P

[rhapscdos]

So I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here and field a couple guesses: you a.) are very young and might not have a ton of media literacy under your belt, or b.) haven't actually played/watched 7 or the compilation for yourself and are going off what other people have told you. If either or both isn't true, well then I don't even know what to say other than this is willful ignorance.

While 7 isn't the most big brain game, it does have nuance in places, but it's pretty explicit in the fact that Shinra makes victims of perfectly good people in the name of greed. This is a game that introduces us to ecoterrorists as our heroes, and routinely shows us the horrors of Shinra's unchecked power and corruption. Hojo, Jenova, Wutai, etc etc it all comes back to Shinra.

So why the utter fuck is it so unbelievable that the CHILD SOLDIER born in a SHINRA lab, and raised by someone like Hojo, would ever be anything but a victim? Do you think children choose to be like this? The fact Sephiroth is aware of what he is as young as he is in EC suddenly removes that victim status? He knows and he hates it. Did you miss the part where he nearly comes apart when Glenn calls him a cyborg? Or that Glenn himself realizes just how bad it is that he did that? Or did you ignore that?

What about OO? Where Angeal finds evil jenova Seph and just can't wrap his head around it? He's so heartbroken that the best friend he loved is like this now. Geal never got to see sephs fall from grace in CC. He died before all that. So imagine his surprise when this is Seph now. But right, we're supposed to believe Seph was terrible to them and ruined their lives when angeal fights that hard to get him to see reason. Cause that's definitely the heartbreak of someone that just saw their life ruiner again, right? Or the fact that even as fucked up as oo evil seph is... Angeal's presence makes him shaky. He says it disturbs him, but it shouldn't bc he cast away all his useless emotions and memories when he let Jenova in. Except, Oops, the old seph is still in there somewhere. He's disturbed to suddenly remember his friends, and talks to himself about trying to forget them again. But some part of him, even at his worst, remembers those friends and how much he cared for them.

Not even counting EC or OO, cause that's new and I'm sure plenty of people haven't fully seen it yet, let's go back to the game plenty of people have dissected over 15+ years that gives a great insight to who Seph was before OG. This is a man that has no love for his public image. He says as much. He never wanted to be a ‘hero.’ When Genesis confronts him, he goes on about he should have had the role of the hero. And you know what seph says? Without a second of hesitation? ‘It's all yours.’ Man doesn't even /think/ about it. Let gen be the ‘hero’ he's never wanted it. He's never wanted some grotesquely skewed public image that he never decided on. Bc he was a CHILD when that shit started. A child, let's recall, that was raised by a bunch of unchecked inhumane scientists with no love or respect for the sanctity of life. Of course he has trouble expressing plenty of things. Acknowledging that he knows Shinra uses him doesn't mean he knows how to stop it, make people stop seeing him that way, or even how to express it in a way that he can help others about it.

Beyond all that bc that's stuff you could say is speculative if you really wanted to bury your head in the sand, let's move on to what is explicitly told to us. Sephiroth has 2 best friends that mean the world to him. He says it, Tseng says, everyone knows it. They're are more important than the what he knows under Shinra. His whole world. This is the perfect soldier, Shinra's poster boy, demon of wutai.

And he won't obey the order to hunt his friends.

Man raised into perfect, inhumane and genocidal obedience won't obey.

Bc those are the people he cares for most.

Where is that treating them badly? Where is that anything but love? Platonic or romantic it doesn't matter. To defy your entire existence, everything you know for 2 country boys that showed up in your life so suddenly and became the only people you can have an equal relationship with. That's love.

When Gen got hurt in the training room, do you know who is the first person to jump to give him that blood transfusion? Seph reacts even faster than Angeal. Him. He wants to help. He's disappointed and hurt that he can't. So much so that he is still thinking about it and he tells Zack. That's such a small detail that he didn't even need to give for context in that scene. He just remembers it vividly, wondering why he wasn't allowed to help his best friend.

Seph has so many opportunities to actually hurt gen and geal and doesn't. He keeps letting them get away, keeps making excuses, keeps calling on Zack's incredible charisma to help him try to bring them back. If you wanna argue about people not telling others the truth then let's look at gen and geal keeping the secret of hollanders experiments from seph. Seph who wanted to help them so badly but couldn't. Seph, whos entire life has been Shinra telling Zack he is going to abandon it all.

My god even OG, 25+ years ago, told you this man was human once. Someone that wasn't always the monster hojo and Shinra and jenova made. The man goes insane when he finds out he isn't human. That he's the son of some fucked up monster experiment Shinra dug out of the damn ground.

This man has always been a victim. The whole fucking cast of 7 are victims of Shinra. THAT'S THE POINT. That's the whole point of the games, the compilation, everything!!! That Shinra BAD AND MAKES PEOPLE SUFFER FOR THEIR GAIN.

Sephiroth becomes a villain, and an extremely compelling one, bec he was just another victim. He's more than just some half beat muwhahah villain. He was human. He didn't treat his friends badly. He didn't intentionally hide what he was to Shinra. He didn't stop being a victim just bc he didn't look at the camera and tell you, the viewer, that unchecked capitalist propaganda is evil and not to do as he does.

How you managed to miss that in something that has as much content as 7 is beyond me, but again, I'm calling on my A and B points to hopefully give you an excuse. But if not, then holy fuck I cannot believe a Genesis rp blog, the Genesis Stan to end all Genesis stans, has to tell you this.

Seeing new scenarios introduced in FFVII Ever Crisis and DFFOO, I can't help but feel really disturbed about Sephiroth, maybe disgusted would be a better word. The backstory of young Sephiroth had him telling Glenn that he knows he is no hero but just a propaganda foil for Shinra to enlist more people. Well yeah, sure, sounds sad and painful but like, if Sephiroth really knows that then why did he treat Angeal and Genesis so badly in Crisis Core? You know, if he can tell Glenn then just tells Angeal and Genesis, maybe they can help Sephiroth get out of that life because Genesis already went rebellious against Shinra? Or at least just tell them the truth? Why acting like that to those people who he called as "friends"? He hid the truth from Angeal and Genesis and pulled them into Shinra's lie, ruining their life which then leads to ruining Zack, Cloud, Tifa, Aerith and the rest of the world. Awesome, magnificent, I can't understand why people think Sephiroth is just a victim when he deliberately ruined everyone else's lives just because of being selfish.

[dutchdread]

Hi again, I'm the same anon from your last ask. So my next question then is why would you consider it to be a bad story if Cloud ends up with Aerith in the end? You also say Cloud and Tifa supposedly have something going on, but even if they did, Aerith doesn't know that. Neither Cloud nor Tifa tell anyone, or even show that there's anything going on between them throughout the whole story. Did you see that in Remake that Aerith even asks Cloud if Tifa is someone special and he says no?

Thanks for the question. Your question is comprised of two parts, why Cloud ending up with Aerith would be a bad story, and then the secondary part about Aerith not knowing about the history between Tifa and Cloud. I think understanding the later will be helpful to understand the former so I'll start with that. This goes back to what I said in my last reply concerning the difference between thinking someone is a bad person, and thinking they're a bad character. First off, let me just make clear that I don't judge Aerith too much concerning her behavior in the OG, since as you rightly state, she didn't really know that there was anything going on between Tifa and Cloud, she probably knew there was some attraction there, but nothing about the extent or the history. And if in the remake it turns out she's actually blissfully ignorant I'll be more lenient there as well. However, in my opinion the remake heavily implies she does realize there is a thing between Tifa and Cloud. You mentioned Aerith asking if Tifa was Clouds girlfriend, and him replying "no". However, as always, there is context here, for starters, the scene doesn't end there and then. Aerith replies knowingly "but she's someone special". Moreover the scene is also only one scene in a series of relevant scenes concerning Clouds relationship with Tifa, which starts with Jessie asking about who Tifa is too Cloud, this plotpoint then continues through Aeriths flower. When Aerith gives Cloud the flower she mentions that his girlfriend will love it, then later when Aerith asks him who he gave the flower to Cloud says he doesn't remember, and Aerith calls him out on the lie. The question is then answered when Aerith goes to the 7th heaven and discovers Cloud gave it to Tifa, prompting a smile from Aerith. She figured it out, actually, she probably figured it much earlier, but now it was confirmed. She had a hunch about Tifa, just like Jessie, Cloud was defensive at first, then evasive, but ultimately, Aeriths hunch was correct, Cloud gave the flower to Tifa. He can pretend all he wants, Aerith knows. Personally, I think she smiled because it reminds her of the future. Throughout remake Aerith is hinted to know more than she lets on, and that's especially true concerning Tifa and Cloud. When Tifa is kidnapped she pushes Cloud to go after Tifa, calling Tifa Clouds special person. If I recall correctly she even uses the same terminology that she used to describe Elmyras husband. She actively tries to make Tifa jealous by calling Cloud her bodyguard, and then she straight up tells Tifa to follow her heart. She gives me the distinct impression that she knows perfectly well where Cloud and Tifas hearts lie, and is trying to push them into action. This is borderline confirmed during the Aerith resolution where she basically straight up admits to knowing more about Clouds feelings than she actually should, assuming you think that this apparition is at least somewhat related to the current Aerith in some manner. The thing that really clenches this in my opinion is a trace of two pasts, where Tifa straight up tells Aerith about her and Clouds history. If Aerith doesn't get it by then, then she's being willfully ignorant. But lets say she does indeed not know, that would to some degree absolve her as a person. But it would still make her a bad character, because WE, the audience, know. We know that Cloud is supposed to end up with Tifa, we know that's how the story goes. And when you rewrite old stories in such a way that you take things away from one character, just to give more to another character, you run the giant risk of insulting the characters involved. You see this in things like the star wars sequels, where they effectively character assassinated Luke Skywalker in order to artificially make Rey seem better. But there are two reasons why this doesn't work, for one, it tends to create Mary-Sue like characters who just get given everything, and two, it inherently causes the fans of the other characters and stories to resent the character that's taking it away.

People don't like people who are simply handed everything, even fictional ones.

In a sense, this is also why Cleriths so often seem to hate Tifa, because they feel like Tifa took their story away from them. The difference, of course, is that Cloud ending with Tifa is a part of the original game itself, while Aerith coming back to life and ending up with Cloud would be a 25 year retcon which would blatantly disadvantage one character in favor of another, this in turn would reek of favoritism, which in turn would generate bad blood in the player. A character who needs to take away from other characters in order to be put forward is not a good character. Good characters add to the characters around them, not take away, that's what Aerith in the OG does, that's what Aerith ending up with Cloud, would not do. This effect would then be magnified by Aeriths already over importance to the plot. Having the universe revolve around one character generally isn't good writing. One of the things that makes Lord of the rings so timeless and beloved is that Frodo is just a small hobbit in the grand scheme of things. Likewise, one of the key elements that makes FFVII so appealing to human nature is Clouds humanity and lack of importance. The fact that Cloud turns out to not be a soldier 1st class, but just a grunt who wasn't good enough, who still ends up being the one who saves the world, speak to the human spirit. Aerith living and ending up with Cloud wouldn't be just a small difference where the overall story would stay the same with only the love interest switched, no, it would inherently ripple effect into all other aspects of the story. From the smallest details to the overall themes of the story, from directing to the personalities of characters, everything would be effected and all of it would fall apart. I could go over a hundred examples but I'll limit myself to some of the smallest and largest. Stories have a flow, where what is happening follows logically from what came before. It's not that it's impossible to write a story where two characters that are roughly similar to Cloud and Aerith fall in love, get separated by death, and where the Cloud character mourns and pines for her after she's gone. The problem comes when you add in Tifa, Zack, and all the other context and details of the story. Consider Zack, if we take the concept of Zack as it relates to Cloud and Aeriths relationship and boil it down to the essentials we could see it as a story about a girl falling in love with a boy because he's channeling the spirit of her dead ex, the main internal conflict the characters need to overcome could then be the question of whether these feelings are true, or whether they are just the shadow of her feelings for the old boyfriend. On the surface, this premise works as the basis of a story. The problem lies in the execution. If you write such a story there are a few things you can and cannot do. For one, you have to make this love exceptionally obvious, you can't tell a story about whether or not feelings are true if you never even get to establishing the feelings in the first place. One of the key things you need to do for this is establish the two characters central importance to the others internal emotional arcs. The first thing you DON'T do is establish a second female character and have Clouds emotional arc revolve mainly around her. If you want to tell a story where Tifa and Clouds relationship turns out to just be friendship, while Aerith and Cloud turns out to be love, then you show the scenes establishing that. However, whenever Cleriths argue for a story like this they have to assert that Cloud no longer loving Tifa is just something that happened off-screen and is never mentioned. But if this were true, this would be extremely important to show. So again, if this is the story, then this is bad direction, aka, storytelling. Scene choices matter, if your story requires you to assume that the scenes you're shown aren't important, and that the crucial bits have to be imagined to happen of screen, then that's bad writing. And the reason you can't suddenly do it now, 25 years later, is

because of a thing called "set-up". Even if they were to change to story to suddenly direct it as such now, it would constitute a drastic change of direction, which means the larger 2-decade long story we've been told is no longer a single coherent whole. If the story in remake is that Cloud always loved Aerith, then why wasn't the ground work for that lain 25 years ago? If you want to say that the story is about Cloud loving Aerith, and ending up with her eventually, then you can't have Cloud not speak her name for the second half of the original game, and devote that time completely to establishing port-mortem that Cloud wasn't himself while with Aerith, and that his true self has deeply ingrained feelings towards another woman. And not some minor character who exists only as a plot-device, some fake hurdle designed to try to raise some fake tension, but Tifa, a character who is routinely established to be the "heroine" of the game, someone of equal importance to Aerith who cared for Cloud while he was in a coma, whose history with Cloud started his internal character arc, whose history with Cloud resolved his internal character arc, and who lives with Cloud 2 years later.

And the same thing goes for Zack, it was possible to write him as negligible when it was just FFVII, if you ignored the addition of Tifa and JUST focused on the Zack element as a side character. But the addition of Tifa and the existence of Crisis Core cause the narrative to become disjointed when trying to view it as a single story. This is why people so often want you to ignore Crisis Core, because they understand that if a conclusion of a story is that Zacks role isn't that important, then why did your story spend an entire game cementing the importance of Zack? One of the things I hear most from Cleriths is "why couldn't Cloud just get over his childhood crush on Tifa and fall in love with Aerith? It happens in real life" , or some other variation of "why couldn't this happen?" But this shows the problem with how they want the story to go, because stories aren't real life. Anything CAN happen in a story, but not anything should. Stories have a concept called " checkovs gun", if a gun is introduced into a story in the first act, it has to be fired somewhere down the line. If the gun turns out to not have a role in the story, why was it there? But the same thing doesn't apply in real life, in real life, chekovs guns almost never fire, with few exceptions, real life is a bad guide to how to write stories. Stories written like real life, generally suck. If characters in stories behaved like characters in real life, half their lines would be "uhhhhh", and half the scenes would be them sitting on the couch having meaningless unrelated events happen.

The entire flow, pacing, and sequence of events is wrong in a Clerith version of this story. In order to sell the idea that FFVII is a story about Aerith and Cloud getting together you first have to sell the idea that all these plot threats concerning Tifa essentially don't matter. But if they don't matter, then why are they there? What purpose do they serve? What purpose does Tifa serve? Or Zack? In order to "fix" their preferred interpretation, Cleriths need to get around this problem, which causes them to have to re-interpret everything that happens and twist it in order to create the appearance of a coherent story. This requires them to resort to minimizing characters, character assassinating characters, and generally misrepresenting everything that happens. I think there is no bigger indication of why Cloud and Aerith getting together would suck as a story than looking at how the people who propose this version of the story look at Cloud and Tifa as characters. What follows are some excerpts from the dumbest person I've ever debated.

This went on for over 200 replies, this is not a mentally sound interpretation of the story, but this is what you need to believe in order to get the Aerith/Cloud love story to work. You're forced to minimize Tifa and her importance to the story, and you need to demonize Cloud. So basically you have two options here, you either have to say "all this stuff with Tifa and Zack, doesn't matter", all their scenes, all those plot threats, they all aren't a part of the larger story being told and ultimately amount to nothing. Or two, you remove all those scenes or rewrite them to instead focus on Cloud and Aerith. And both those approaches suffer from the same basic problem, they're both effectively going "screw everything, all that matters is Cloud and Aerith". Which brings me back to my earlier point. If your story is pushing everything aside in order to hype up the main character, you're not writing a good ensemble story, you're writing a bad fan-fiction. This is the writing people HATE. Cloud is no longer a sad but likable character with complex motivations and feelings who wasn't as important as he thought he was, no, he's cliche self-insert main character that the world revolves around, who every girl genuinely loves regardless of whether or not it makes sense, even though he's a complete asshole who abandons children and takes advantage of women just because he's "lovesick". No other man could ever compare, a week with him braindamaged and you forget all about the man you pined after for 5 years. Aerith is not compassionate to a man who blames himself for his failings and thinks he'd do more harm than good, she's compassionate to a piece of human filth who refuses to go save children because he doesn't care about them. She's not just a girl with a big destiny and a tragic fate, no, the universe itself resets to make sure she gets laid. Tifa isn't a powerful woman who devotedly supports the man she loves through his darkest hours, instead she's a weak unimportant doormat without self-respect who even in 2 decades could not measure up to a week with Aerith. Zacks connection with Cloud doesn't come with complex implications about Aeriths feelings, Zack never really mattered, his entire story of getting back to her? Doesn't matter, it only exists to show how much Aerith must love Cloud to choose him over Zack. The entire lifestream reveal concerning Cloud? Doesn't matter, nothing matters, it's in the past. The central reveal of the story isn't important because Clouds true self suddenly likes Aerith now.....good writing. etc, etc, etc. Where Aerith was once a part of an ensemble cast, the heroine of the external plot, tasked with saving the world through her powers as an ancient, while Tifa as the equally important heroine of the internal plot saves Clouds through their shared feelings, now everything instead revolves around Aerith, and the other characters only exist in service to her, not as characters in their own right, but only to make sure she and Cloud gets together, like every hated mary-sue in history. The pain of her death? Gone, the impact and nuance of the story? Gone. Literally everything that made FFVII special? Gone. And concerning the small, even the little details would no longer be coherent, Cetras thematically guide people to the promised land, note: "GUIDE", but now Aerith would suddenly be the promised land herself. The through-line of Cetras "returning to the planet"? Gone, if Aerith doesn't die that doesn't link to the story anymore at all. Tifa's bar being the 7th heaven, aka, the final heaven, aka, the promised land where Aerith guides Cloud to? Suddenly a meaningless name. Tifa's last name "lockhart" being a direct hint towards the "tender feelings locked up inside Clouds hart"? Completely trivial, the feelings weren't that important to the story. And I could go on for hours, every aspect of FFVII, from small to large, would be fundamentally poisoned if Cloud ends up with Aerith.

I could rewrite the story to make it work, but that's the point, then you'd be rewriting the story in order to diminish every other character and story in favor of Cloud and Aerith. Which brings us back to it becoming a horrible fan-fiction where no one and nothing matters except Cloud and Aerith. It's ok to write unimportant characters, it's not ok to make your important characters unimportant in retrospect in order to wank off another character. Thanks for asking.

[askaceattorney]

Dear Asexual-Deesasters,

Mod Edgeworth: 

If you want to know the answer to that question, go to this link.

Dear Skibot99,

Co-Mod: I’m fairly certain it was The Mod, but I don’t know for sure.  He actually had another one before it, made from an old Ace Attorney musical animation.  I haven’t been able to locate that video, unfortunately, but here’s the old banner:

Ah...  Those were good days.  Good days.

Dear Dawsongfg,

Co-Mod: It’s fine.  Besides, it won’t be too long before those letters are accepted, so maybe we’ll hold onto them until that time.

Dear skibot99 again,

Mod Edgeworth: The Lost Turnabout hands down. All logic is thrown out the window the moment Phoenix had amnesia. It’s clear the Judge knew something was wrong with Phoenix, so why didn’t he call for a recess or check on Phoenix? Not to mention Wellington was annoying. He’s probably the only character I would be hesitant to play as when answering letters, if only because he was so unbearable.

As for Turnabout Ablaze, I do agree that it is a drag to get through in the end, though the entire game of AAI was boring, aside from the game mechanics. As a case by itself, I wouldn’t put it as my least favorite, if only because I did get some funny parts out of it.  It also contributed to the overall story, whereas The Lost Turnabout could just be taken out and it wouldn’t effect the overarching plot.

Co-Mod: I’d probably have to go with Turnabout Big Top.  I honestly couldn’t figure out the part where you have to present Max’s poster without consulting a walkthrough.  Why couldn’t we just present Max himself?  Besides that, the ending was largely underwhelming -- the murder weapon was hidden under Acro’s blanket the entire time, but instead of seeing a screenshot of it there, we just have to imagine it.  Maybe it was a filler case, but that was no excuse for it to end so poorly.  Not to mention one of the witnesses was a literal puppet.

It’s hard truth, Trilo.  Live with it.

Dear skibot99 and Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: I… think I heard from her when the localization of DGS was announced? I know Mod Kristoph and Mod Maya introduced themselves when I came into the group. There’s a third person, but I only heard from her once. As for what’s going on with her… I don’t know.

As for the flooding the inbox, it’s fine. I won’t promise a letter or two won’t be deleted, but we may make an exception and I’d hardly consider 4-5 different letters flooding the inbox. However, I do highly suggest lowering your letter sending to no more than three a day to prevent deletion of your letters. The only time I’d say your letters are flooding the inbox is when you’re sending 10-20 of them, especially of the same letter, and we have to scroll down for a while to get to the next letter. We will only choose three out of that pile and delete the rest.

And yes, we do have a few that send us 10-20 of the same letter to multiple characters in the span of five minutes. Geez.

Co-Mod: Mod Paups has had to remain absent for personal reasons, and sadly, has recently communicated to me that she wishes to leave the blog entirely.  Thanks for all you’ve contributed to this blog, Mod Paups, and best of luck in whatever you do next!

(Referenced Letter)

Dear mungeondaster,

Mod Edgeworth: Since I answered this one, I shall answer your letter.

(^ Why do I always use this sprite? ^) Actually, the localization never specified if Manfred Von Karma was born in Germany or not. In fact, we never knew the German part until Justice For All when Franziska Von Karma was stated to have flown all the way from Germany. It never specifies any reason for this and fans were quick to jump to the conclusion that it means the Von Karma family were German, which… isn’t entirely true? Manfred Von Karma never said he lived in Germany and, for all we know, Franziska could’ve lived in Germany to study law or something.

Now, the OG does give us more specific detail on this, being why I answered this the way I did. In the OG, both Von Karma’s were born Japanese, but lived in America or at least have an estate there. It specified that they were originally born in Japan, which would be translated to LA, California in the localization. While using the OG canon isn’t normal here, I will use it, if the localization doesn’t specify things. In this case, it never specified if the Von Karma’s were born in Germany or if Manfred Von Karma lived in America. Since he had to wait out the Statue of Limitations for DL-6, we can assume he lived in LA for 15 years or more. That means he’s American.

I am still getting the hang of writing letters, but I try to stick to canon as much as possible. If you believe we’ve made an error in our letters, feel free to let us know, but also show proof, if we go against canon. We’ll be sure the letter is sent to the right mod or else fix it.

Dear  Bluedragoncody,

Mod Edgeworth: I... don’t know how to feel about that.

Also, I accidentally deleted your previous letter before this one when trying to post it on here. I’m so sorry about that. If you could remember it, would you send it again?

Co-Mod: I’ll just respond to this with an old classic:

Dear Aceattorneyismyjam,

Mod Edgeworth: I-I’m not a pro! I accidentally deleted an important mod question from bluedragoncody, because of my inexperience. Oof! Again, so sorry!

Granted, I am good with digital art and writing essays, but I’m still trying to get the hang of being a mod here. Believe me, I do get corrected on several mistakes I do here. I can’t really call myself a pro just yet. I’ve only just started becoming a mod here last month lol

Dear Dahlia,

Mod Edgeworth: I thank you for your support of this blog and my essay. Manfred Von Karma is also my favorite villain and someone I do feel is underestimated as a one dimensional villain. I think people hate him so much, because of how he ruined Miles Edgeworth’s life without looking at the bigger picture. They focus on the bad things with their black colored glasses without dissecting Manfred Von Karma’s character as a whole. 

One thing I love about this blog, even before becoming a mod, is that no one here ever portrayed Manfred Von Karma as the one dimensional villain. He can be snappy at times, but as proven in many of our previous letters, he’s also portrayed as being calm when threatened, polite at times and absolutely loves his wife and children. Yes, he’s a terrible person, but that’s what makes him so interesting. He’s a bad, evil person that does good things from time to time. It doesn’t justify any of his horrible deeds, murder included, but it does make him human.

Co-Mod: I’m...going to assume you’re a different Dahlia.  (I’m grabbing a Magatama of Parting just in case, though.  I’m sure you can understand.)

Anyway, thanks for being such a loyal follower!  This blog’s been through a lot of changes since it began, and since I joined it back in 2017, so I’m glad it’s still a good source of enjoyment for you.  I’ve seen all sorts of cringe by now, by the way (some of which I wrote myself), so don’t worry about it.

I’m also glad that the characters still sound like themselves and not like us.  The hilarious personalities and quirks given to them by Capcom’s writers, as well as the humanity in so many of them, make them easy to relate to, and thus fairly easy to mimic.  I may have said something like this before, but I see myself in a lot of them -- in Athena’s fear of inadequacy, in Apollo’s desire for justice in a world where it’s hard to find, in Sebastian’s confusion about where to go next after his world falls apart, and possibly even in the von Karmas’ desire for perfection.  I of course identify with their positive feelings as well -- Phoenix’s smugness when he gets things right, Athena’s joy after pulling off a victory in court, Adrian’s pride after her self-confidence is restored, etc. -- but there’s something about the struggles they face that make them easier to relate to, on top of being that much more awesome in the end.

Unfortunately, I can’t promise anything about this blog continuing on in perpetuity.  For one thing, I don’t plan on being around forever (I’m fairly certain the other Mods don’t, either), and for that matter, there’s also no telling how long Tumblr will be around.  All I can promise is that I’ll give my best while I’m here, and that the love from you and everyone else who shares it here is sure to be what keeps us going.  Thank you for your contribution!

Dear TurqouiseJavelin,

Mod Edgeworth: Hm... not bad ideas. Though, we mods choose our own mod names under the condition that it doesn’t match anyone else’s mod name.

Co-Mod: What Mod Edgeworth said.  Choosing the name “Mod Athena” may or may not increase your chances of being hired, though.  *wink, wink*

Dear Anonymous, 

Mod Edgeworth: Actually, Gregory was stated in the Autopsy to have died by a gunshot. However, you do bring up something interesting. If Gregory Edgeworth realized he was dead and last remembered Robert Hammond strangling him, he wouldn’t think “I died by the shot of a gun.” Since the Detectives weren’t aware that victim had died unconscious, they’d assume the victim would recall being shot and killed. This makes me wonder if Gregory Edgeworth was channeled, but never brought to court to be cross-examined.

There are still holes, but I do like your aspect on DL-6.

Co-Mod: Dang...  No matter how many times you come back to this game, there’s always something new to think about.  I honestly hadn’t considered those details about Yanni Yogi’s trial.  Your explanation makes the most sense to me, but there’s one other possibility regarding Gregory’s testimony -- he may have chosen to lie about who murdered him in order to protect his son from a murder charge.  That’s all open to interpretation, of course, so your guess is as good as ours.

It’s a good thing we’re not actual defense attorneys, huh?

-The Mods

[kaleidiope]

Novaturient

To heck with it, I'm going to give a in-a-nut-shell explanation of the stories I'm writing. I do have more in-depth versions in my story collection once I update it all and put it out again. But I have drawings I want to post and I kind of want to explain who the characters are before I do. So, I have a six part series I've been working on at random, on-and-off since some point in 2019. (Some of you will probably know, and remember, OUL fairly well.) The names have been questioned and moved about a few times but I think it's all finally been settled. The series has been dubbed, "Novaturient" Meaning: (All meanings copied from google, thanks google!) "Novaturient is desiring changes or alterations, usually in regards to one's life, behavior, or situation. The origin of novaturient comes from the Latin novāre (make new)" (Some of these will be familiar to many who were on MBM back in 2019 especially.) Also, there is mentions of black magic, and falling society below. In the actual stories there are many heavy-topics covered. I will not mention them here because it is a lot to tag. (And those aspects aren't even talked about here because it's just a rough, nut-shell explanation of the stories.)

So, without further-ado, I bring you to the first story. "Liberosis" meaning: "Liberosis is a longing for liberty, an ache to let things go. A recent addition, wytai, is an acronym for “When You Think About It,” and means the sudden realization of how absurd some aspect of modern life is." The story of a man has too much empathy to the point it brings him real physical pain seeing others unhappy. The idea that the world will always move on weather or not people are ready hurt him dearly. He wound up getting into black magic in an attempt to make his dreams come true. The dream of a "vacation" world where people could go to process the pain the world has forced them through. He summoned a "demon", who made the world he dreamed for. But, the man was so happy, he never checked the "terms and conditions." The world built on deceit, feeding off of pain, it was doomed to fall. And, any "OG's" way back from MBM (and even Quotev) will remember the early pitch that was "Klexos" Meaning: "There are ways of thinking about the past that aren't just nostalgia or regret. A kind of questioning that enriches an experience after the fact." The story of a very ill person exploring the house their parent forced them to live in with who was a practical stranger, years later. After getting a terminal diagnosis, and a mystery letter appearing on their hospital night-stand, with nothing but a key and address enclosed. Curiosity consumed them and they went to the house. Slowly exploring and slowly recalling their childhood, and finding out just how much they were cared for by someone they barely knew or remembered. All while also finding a way inside the empath-man's world. And then that brings us to the original story that made me want to make this a visual novel/kinetic novel series. "Monachopsis" Meaning: "The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you’d be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home." Which is the story of a person grieving over the loss of someone close. And finding their way inside the empath-man's world as well. Getting the full experience, of slowed time, and easy life. Made perfect for the real would to melt away from one's mind. But, this person only has a rough estimate of two weeks to leave the world. As for, to enter the world, one must be in a coma. And without life support, one doesn't have long to wake up. They must recruit the help of one of the "non-human-demon-aliens" made specially to help others leave in order to go back home. Which brings us to the next, very-connected-to-Monachopsis, story. "Lachesism" Meaning: "The desire to be struck by disaster — to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire." Which in this story a person falls through a mirror within the house they recently moved into. Finding a "glitch entrance" to the empath-man's world. where they find the world slowly crumbling. The person then speaks with all they can find within the world, slowly understanding the problems it is facing. As well as why so many are now trapped there in a special-man-made-purgatory. And why they went into the world to begin with. Which brings us to the last story, "Exulansis" Meaning: "The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it-whether through envy or pity or simple foreignness- which allows it to drift away from the rest of your life story." Which in this story, a person gets a letter telling them they were mentioned in a will, by someone they don't know. And that the deceased person left their house and whole estate to this person. Out of curiosity, they go to the house. Only to find many oddities, some which scare the person so bad into leaving and never coming back for long periods of time. But the hunger of confusion and wanting an answer always made the person return. The person soon finds missing

person notes, and many other alarming things. Showing them of "another world". After finding many more things, they come across a robot, who helps them break-through the glitched entrance of the empath-man's world. To find the world in a second-to-final stage before complete corruption and failure. Seeing the sky grow darker, and the inhabitance doing their best to prepare for the worst. Which then brings us to the final story, which actually wasn't meant to be connected at all to this series. OUL, or, "Out under the lights." Being it's code name, real name being, "Agathokakological" Meaning: "Composed of both good and evil." A story of a world trying to rebound from an eternal eclipse, all while having the life literally squeezed from it by a power-hungry corporation, who doesn't tolerate any form of competition. They found a way to make light from a water dwelling insect. A dearly needed bug for the ecosystem of the world. A young inventor builds a light that doesn't need a creature to work. She tries her best to leave the city where the corporations power is strongest in hopes to find others willing to support and help her with normalizing her creation, hoping to save what's left of the world the best she can. All while meeting others, all who have many problems, ideas, and beliefs of their own. Thank-you so, so much for reading!! And I hope you have a wonderful day!

[joanplou]

I started writing a fic but that started getting long and I’m not sure if I’m ever gonna finish it.

However, I've been learning how to draw, soooo

Meet depressed Odysseus!

Throne Records Name/Mythical Name: Nobody

True Name: Odysseus of Ithaca

Class: Assassin (or Pretender)

Personal Skills:

Devote Thyself to One Goal (Home) A+

Mechanical effects: Apply Guts to self, become immune to mental debuffs, lose hp (demerit)

Determined General's Cunning B++

Mechanical effects: apply Evade and Increase Star Gather rate for self, create critical stars

Ruthlessness B

Mechanical effects: Increase NP gauge, increase attack, and increase NP strength to Self

Noble Phantasm:

「Charisma of a tragic hero」

Type: Anti-Mistrust

Rank: A+

Among the many feats of the protagonist of the Odyssey, perhaps one of the greatest accomplishments of his was gaining the trust of monsters, gods, and kings alike.

This feat coalesces in this noble phantasm, manifesting in a rather mundane way, a manner of speaking, an air of trust, a je ne sais quoi that leads others to follow him, help him, or at least, expect less of him.

「One-Man Mutiny」

Type: Anti-Army

Rank: B++

Target: 1-108 individuals

As one of the most prolific generals in Mythology, the protagonist of the Odyssey was incredibly apt at fighting enemies while having the numbers' disadvantage.

This noble phantasm takes the strength of the man once he arrived back at this kingdom, killing all suitors to his wife with only himself and three other people

My thoughts

Have I been watching too many Epic animatics? Yes, yes I have, I blame WolfyTheWitch for that.

I like Odysseus in FGO, he’s heroic, he mentions Penelope, that’s fine and dandy. But imo FGO mostly doesn’t mention the Odyssey in a big enough way, that’s why I think if we were to have an Odysseus Alter, it would be him from the middle of the Odyssey, way more jaded, and possibly going by the name “Nobody” since Polyphemus and stuff. In addition, his skills are his original skills but slightly modified, at least in concept. Mechanically, he is made for being able to fend for himself and only himself. Also I wrote down two NPs, the second one is for FGO Game purposes, the first one is more his “actual” NP, as in, the essence of his myth.

Odysseus' og art is flowy, but has a roughness in his expression, it’s brilliant. I decided to lean in more into the roughness. His hair is just straight, sharp lines, probably wet and dirty because of the ceaseless sea breeze. He has grown a beard, and his age and tiredness is starting to show, with bags under his eyes, and wrinkles in his face. He would not have the Aegis at all, he’s probably wearing rags upon rags, beggars can’t be choosers, after all, and he is one hell of a beggar. The last detail is his headband: OG Odysseus has these red lace thingies on both sides of his head, and I do not know where the idea originated, but I’ve seen so many drawings of Odysseus wearing a headband??? First one I recall personally seeing is by gigi in YouTube, on an animatic for “Remember Them”, I don’t think they’re the first person to have the idea, but imma be honest, I have no clue who was first.

Lastly, the Fic I began writing and gave up halfway through. Since I don’t know if I’ll finish it, I might as well leave the idea here, in case anyone wants to follow up on it, or maybe it gives someone an idea for a story they'd like to make.

Guda wakes up in a singularity/pseudoworld/etc. Classic stuff, in this case, it’s an infinite white desert: The endless land of hopeless self-reflection. Guda summons Nobody, and begins traveling in a random direction. Essentially, Guda is forced to live their own “Odyssey” as they stumble upon remnants of past Lostbelts, and Guda must look the past in the face without anyone to rely on.

The truth of the matter is, this “singularity” is a dream realm created by Beast Guda from the future, who is trying to toughen up Present Guda by making them stop caring so much. Nobody is actually sent by Beast Guda to accompany the master and make sure everything goes alright, trying to teach them the lesson that sometimes “ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves”

Anyways, gonna go watch Epic.

Thank you!

turn a servant, any servant doesn’t matter who, into a alter. I don’t mind if you make it fanfic, artfill, I’d like to see your imaginations on different alter servants!

Oh ho ho!

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 10: Truth and illusions (Part 2)

Warnings: none

Author notes: and our case begins... I hope you’ll enjoy it...!

It was true that the job of a bodyguard was not unknown to me. In the past, I had had plenty of opportunities to protect corrupted politicians, troubled businessmen and other rich families in contact with the Port Mafia. For the sake of these shady people, I would put my life on the line, often under a fake name, rarely using my real identity. In the close circle of influential families, "Ogawa" was too infamous a name for me to risk exposing myself to them. The family of traders who had lost their lives because of their greed and their incompetence… I recalled I had always been ashamed to wear that name, yet I could not come up with another one. Being an Ogawa… It was still part of my identity, as much as I wanted to deny that fact. I hated being related to the fat and lazy pig who had given birth to me, but his blood did flow in my vessels, and I could never remove it from my body.

Remembering these facts took me less than a second, as I was reminded of my task by Yosano-sensei's questioning glance. I had to introduce myself to the clients, a graceful and elegant lady, mother of a small and shy ten years old boy. A large smile replaced the look of surprise on my face and I bowed before them.

"My name is…" I paused, hesitating "Fuyuno Kasumi, from the Armed Detective Agency. It's an honour to meet you, madam."

"That's… A rather original name… You don't sound as cold as it is, at the very least…" She giggled nervously.

Why, I had to admit that, as poetic as "winter's mist" was, it could be surprising… I would think twice before entrusting my life to someone named as such. Besides, it seemed clear that it was only a pseudonym, which did not make me seem… Trustworthy. Even so, I could not use my real name.

"I am Yosano Akiko, the detective in charge of looking after our newbie." The doctor stepped in to reassure the mother "Everything will be fine."

"Of course, I don't doubt it… My husband did hire you, after all…" She struggled tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"My dove, are you ready?" A masculine voice erupted from their mansion.

A man, carrying various suitcases, suddenly appeared in front of us. I bowed again. It was her husband, Taikin-san, our client. As I straightened my back, however, he rushed toward me and took my hands into his, rather desperately.

"Eirin…? Is that you…?" He whispered.

"W-What…?" I frowned "Let go of me…!"

"Don't you recognise me…? It's me… Eirin…"

I harshly got away from him. What did he want from me…?! And his wife… The poor woman was almost in tears… Seeing as he did not come back to him, I decided to wake him up. I slapped him.

"Stop your nonsense…!" I yelled at him "My name is Fuyuno Kasumi, and I know no 'Eirin'...! Leave me alone…!"

That was a lie. Eirin was the name of my mother, but revealing it would also uncover my true identity. I glared at him, angrily, before apologising to the madam of the house, as sincerely as I could. These people had not married out of love, but even so… Out of respect for her, if he could refrain from that kind of behaviour… Besides, Ogawa Eirin was dead, he was surely aware of that.

"You resemble her so much… These eyes… I really thought she had been brought back. My apologies." He sighed.

"I am not the one you should apologise to." I hissed "I don't know who she was for you, but your wife here doesn't deserve the lamentable husband you are."

"Og —" Yosano-sensei wanted to stop me, but cut herself "Fuyuno…! That's enough…!"

"But sensei…"

"Taikin-san and his wife are our clients…! Don't cause troubles for them…" She groaned "Forgive her, she's quite… Impulsive…"

I huffed discreetly. He did not deserve that I showed him any respect. His family really had to be miserable if all he could think about was a dead married woman, instead of his wife and his son, the happiness he should give his life to protect. These people, who always longed for something they could not have, instead of enjoying what they owned, made me upset. They reminded me too much of my older self…

"Anyway…" The man cleared his throat "About the details of the mission… I'd like you to look after Yumiko-san and my son, Sakunosuke-kun, while I'm away. My trip should last three days."

I felt something wrapping tightly around my heart as I looked at the ten years old boy. They had nothing in common except their name, but even so, I wanted to cry. He was not him, for that person would never come back. However, what kind of fate was that, meeting someone who had, somehow, inherited the name of that lost friend? Slowly, I crouched down and smiled at the boy.

"Are you going to protect me…?" He asked, timidly.

"I promise you, I will. You'll be safe with me." I assured.

These words I had never been able to tell him… They would be destined to so many different people, but I was glad that young Sakunosuke was the first one I said that to, in the world of light. Despite how terrible that first encounter had been, I hoped I would be able to preserve that young life.

"You can rest assured, Taikin-san." I faced the man, unable to look at him without contempt "Your wife and son are in good hands."

[goattypegirl]

Harrow the Ninth Live Read: Chapter 6-11

Con: It’s been a while

Pro: We finished part 1!

Con: this post is hella long now.

Chapter 6

Eighth House icon. Oh no. Gotta say, not a fan of the characters from the Eight House in Gideon the Ninth, whose names I now forget. There was Big Dude and Mayonnaise Twink. 

OH OK WE’RE STARTING OFF WITH SOME LOCKED IN SYNDROME SHIT. 

So, panicked person wheeling Harrow is given the title “Sacred Hand.” I vaguely recall seeing that before; is that a title given to Lyctors? Is this one of the OG Lyctors finally making an appearance? Wheeling the frozen Harrow to the Emperor to “unfuck accordingly?” Well, maybe not. Presumably another Lyctor would be able to “unfuck accordingly” themselves.

Oh disregard it is a Lyctor! And if we go back to the Dramatis Personae, this should be... Mercymorn! Originally of the Eighth House! She seems nice.

“It was his order that she not be touched.” Did the Emperor do this? But hwhy?

Calling Harrow and Ianthe babies is kind of hilarious. Aaaand Mercymorn just knocked this random person unconscious. OH wait is this the person the Emperor said to make static-y noises at? Survey says... maybe? They were called the Saint of Joy, which seems a unique title?

The whole description of the Lyctor and the way she visually dissects Harrow is so poetic, but something else catches my eye here. Harrow says her eyes did not have such a startling transition, which helps confirm my theory that Harrow is suppressing or undid the Lyctor process.

Also using the power of Cringe, Harrow partially(?) undoes the paralysis spell done to her. “An emotion was playing out over her face that was- not unfamiliar to you- but nonsensical; you discarded it.” Eh? What emotion could this be referring to? Confusion over what Harrow did? Awe? Fear? All of the above?

OH okay before I forget, Harrow formed a bone hook inside of her to do that, and she made that bone sheath to hold on to the sword, so maybe her necromancy isn’t being suppressed? Well, maybe. That feels more... internal? Like she hasn’t grown any full ass skeletons from bone dust yet.

...Why is Harrow afraid of telling Mercymorn her actual age? Why is the Body telling her to lie? Why fifteen??

Relief? That’s what flashed across Mercymorn’s face? Oh, duh, because Harrow did that and didn’t immediately die. Duh. Also she straight up said “hiss”? That is weird. Also, thinking back, it is weird there wasn’t an age requirement in the Lyctor trials. Also Mercymorn took Ianthe too???

“You’re not as pretty as Anastasia.” Anastasia being the member of the Ninth House listed with the Lyctors, but not as one of the Saints. Doing this liveread has its advantages, namely that I can remember shit that happened earlier! 

OH WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. “AS Anastasia,” not “As Anastasia was.” Implying Anastasia’s still alive? Matches her name not being struck through in the Dramatis Personae, and Mercymorn said there were 3 OG Lyctors now. Which matches with Anastasia not having that line about being a Saint! I’ve connected the two dots!

Okay there’s a lot going on here. Why is this normal necromancer so fascinating to Ianthe and Harrow? What she’s doing is pretty dope to be fair. Mercymorn called Ianthe 12... which... huh. More on that in a second. First, I need to google what the fuck an animaphiliac is... probably in an incognito window. Oh, okay, it’s just a style of necromancy in this universe okay thank God. Mercymorn also said Ianthe wasn’t as attractive as Cyrus... which is weird... And it reminds Ianthe of being with Mummy... I assume she means her mother, comparing her to Coronabeth? Oof.

So, back to the lowballing age thing. Mercymorn assumes Ianthe is 12, probably  because she’s super old and has forgotten how mortals age. Harrow seems to have subconsciously picked up on this, which is why she lied about her age. I’m still in the camp of the Body being non-supernatural in origin. Yes, she has Gideon’s eyes, BUT, she spoke in the voice of Harrow’s mother and Aiglamene. SO, my theory is that the Body is a product of the trauma Harrow’s gone through, that’s kind of externalizing Harrow’s inner thought process. Like I said earlier, I’ve read Twig, and this is reminiscent of that.

OH hey we’re headed to the frontline apparently? Because 3 warships got shot down suddenly? Which begs the question I’ve had in the back of my mind since first picking up this series, who the fuck are they fighting??? Probably not Ressurection Beasts, given what we know about them. Other humans, probably? Dominicus (probably) isn’t Earth or humanity’s home planet. 

Okay, hold up. The Emperor is trying to get to the frontline now, Mercymorn wants him to return to “the Mithraeum”, which is presumably the capital of the Empire outside of the Dominicus system? Also, Emperor’s been on the ship for 80 years, and been away from the Mithraeum for 100... Once again, the math’s not adding up...

Okay, so God hugs Mercymorn, she freezes, he confirms that he is leaving, and that he knows exactly who shot down 3 warships???

Okay cool we’re not headed to the fronline, we’re headed to the Mithraeum, whatever the fuck that is.

Ohhh and the Cohort necromancer girl died, or committed suicide? And the Emperor brought her back? ...There’s a story there.

Ohhhh Mom and Dad are fighting.

OKAY ONCE AGAIN A LOT TO UNPACK HERE BUT THE MITHRAEUM CAN ONLY BE REACHED BY ONE MEANS???? AND IT MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH BEING A LYCTOR???

...Hey. So. Here’s something. In the description of Mercy’s sword, it says it has a white knob at the end of, and I quote “-you didn’t know the exact technical word. It was a pommel though.” There’s a disconnect there, between Harrow’s knowledge, and the narrator’s knowledge. This has happened a few other times, like just a few pages ago, Harrow says a room is used for bodily functions, but the narrator jumps in and says no one in the universe would call it that, it’s a toilet. And this is going to sound kind of batshit, but like 6 years ago i was in to Undertale, and there was a popular theory that the narrator in that game was a separate character from the PC and... a lot of the points used in that theory kinda ring true here... even the use of second person narration...

So the narrator is a separate character from Harrow? Now, whether this narrator exists in-universe, or if this is a really cool stylistic choice, is another story. Right now I’m leaning towards... I don’t know. Well, hm. If the Body is a kind of externalization of Harrow’s inner thought process, maybe the narrator is an internalization? 

That makes no sense.

Something to keep in mind.

Anyway, the shuttle detaches. There’s a sort of irony, in God being tired of people martyring themselves for him, but giving a speech saying “hey if you die in my service I love you.”

OKAY I think we’re about to go faster than light using necromancy? This should be good. OH OKAY WE’RE TAKING A SHORTCUT THROUGH HELL. COOL.

...so what was their original method of faster than light travel that turned out to be unusable? did it have to do with neutrinos in italy?

okay I love Mercy and the Emperor’s dialogue here. Again, objectively, I’m sure they’re bad people who have committed several warcrimes... but the way they bicker is just hilarious.

I’m googling hyperpotamus, and i’m only getting other Harrow the Ninth livereads, so it appears to be a term made for the book. But I have a terrible feeling it’s a pun on hippopotamus.

There are so many quotes here that I absolutely love, including “said the Lord of the Nine Houses, who apparently existed within a complex power dynamic.”  and “The magma metaphor falls apart from here.” 

...Oh. Okay, serious time. Even at the very start, just post-Resurrection, two of the Lyctors fell to the Resurrection Beasts. Well, one died, and one was “removed from play.” Which sounds horrifying.

So we’re dipping into Hell because you can move fast there. Hell is full of angry ghosts. This explains the ghost ward. Lyctors have hacked the system, and so can kind of survive there. And we learn what happened to Cassiopeia, one of the deceased Lyctors. (Interestingly enough it says she baited physical portions of the Ressurection Beast. Not a beast. Nor is it given a number...)

ALright so entering the River physically sounds fucking horrifying. I’m very glad we only have to do it this once and it definitely won’t come back later in the book nope definitely not.

“and that you felt alone in your head.” ;_;

Chapter 7

Sixth House icon.

There’s not a lot to say here, besides how freaky this is. How much do you want to bet that the faint wail Harrow hears is coming from the coffin with Cyntherea’s body?

JOHN. GOD’S NAME IS JOHN?? #NAME LORE UNLOCKED. IM JUST SO HAPPY I FINALLY HAVE A WAY TO REFER TO HIM WITHOUT STRUGGLING TO SPELL EMPORER EVERY FUCKIN TIME.

Also, Mercymorn knowing his like actual human name further implies some stuff about the timeline of the Ressurection, which I was wondering about previously... but that’s a discussion for later because Harrow’s in Hell!

Not a lot to say here besides 

fuck.

A few things. One. I think they’re going to get out of this okay? And by okay I mean alive? We know Ianthe, the Emperor, and Harrow live up to the point of the Prologue, and I don’t think Mercymorn is going to die already. 

Two. Cassiopeia was from the Sixth House, going by her Cavalier’s last name, which explains the chapter icon.

Three. The lights? The last page or so is very metaphorical, but, at the beginning it says Harrow perceived herself as a “sickly radiance”, and that she perceived the others on the ship as a light as well. She later said she was an “ova cluster of two hundred pinpricks of light.” So I think in this deep part of the River Harrow accidentally sent herself to, souls (maybe?) are displayed as lights. Harrow’s own soul is literally made up of the hundreds of dead House Nine kids, which is. Spooky. But then, at the end, when they jump out of the River, they bring 5 lights with them. So... either something hitched a ride with them, or it has something to do with Harrow suppressing Gideon and the Lyctor ritual. Everyone else on the ship has undergone the Lyctor ritual (or something similar, in John’s case), and they only have 1 light each. At least to Harrow’s eyes. BRUH IDK WHAT”S GOING ON. 

Chapter 8

No further answers here, this is a flashback chapter! So, sheared skull = flashback. And this chapter is going to feature the Fourth House, apparently. Who was Fourth House again? Oh no it was the kids. Oh no. ;_;

So, we are continuing through Harrow’s re-imagination of the events of Canaan House, with her Ortus OC in tow.

Of course Harrow is overwhelmed by normal tea, and of course Harrow thinks dressing up skeletons is stupid. 

AND of course Harrow would have a private prayer wishing doom on anyone that looks at her with any kind of emotion.

Hold up, the Anastasian tomb? Reserved for warriors? And presumably derived from the word Anastasia, the mysterious not-Lyctor of the Ninth House?? 

I can already tell Anastasia is going to become my Pepe Silvia. 

Ohhh this is going to be a lore bomb about the timeline of the Ressurection and I’m going to need to pull out my copy of Gideon the Ninth to see if any of this shit actually happened. 

TEN? TEN NORMAL ASS HUMANS? AND FIVE NECROMANCERS?? BUT THERE WERE SEVEN LYCTORS. THE MATH DOES NOT CHECK OUT.

Okay so I checked and none of this shit actually happened! In fact, Teacher actually said there were 16, 8 necromancers, 8 cavaliers. Where the fuck is Harrow getting 10 from? Who knows! And rather than explicitly saying “hey check out the basement labs to see how to become a Lyctor,” Teacher actually said fuck if I know. Not actually. But still.

Oh of course it’s called the Sleeper!! I had Kill Bill sirens playing in my head when I first read that. 

So,  had a whole ass monologue here, but this is already very long and im sleepy, so to very quickly summarize, the Parahumans series had an entity known as the Sleeper that was intentionally very mysterious and raised a lot of questions amongst fans, and the fact that there’s another entity here known as the Sleeper is flooding me.

So, I’m spooked. Again, this entire conversation did not actually happen. Teacher’s dialogue is precious. “go where I durst not go: because I love my life, and I love noise, also.” and “I do not know the answers to any of these questions, only that, already, you are being too loud.”

So, the rest of the chapter plays out with Ortus complaining to Harrow. Intriguingly, he says that Harrow doesn’t have much of an imagination, when she says there was no one else to choose as her Cavalier... And then one of the skeletons says, “Is this how it happens?” harkening back to Parodos, when the Body says something similar. There’s a lot to unpack here. One, like I said previously, because Ortus, and apparently the entirety of Canaan House, is a product of Harrow’s mind, they can maybe give some insight into Harrow herself. However, the fact that Ortus seems to break character and chastise her for her lack of imagination is... I don’t know.

Okay, theory time. “The Work” alluded to in the letters is not only the suppression of Lyctor-hood, it’s also the erasure of Gideon, and the creation of these false memories. Meaning Lyctor!Harrow somehow crafted them; there was conscious effort behind it. Which means we can totally pick these scenes apart to gain further insight into Harrow! The skeleton and the Body asking if this is what happened, and Ortus breaking character (maybe) are her subconscious breaking through... Maybe that ties into my idea of the narrator being an internalization or compartmentalization of Harrow’s trauma? Hmm...

Chapter 9

Seventh House skull, and not a flashback. I’m guessing this is because we’re going to inter Cyntherea’s body here.

Okay, so time seems to have passed. IDK how much of the River Harrow remembers here. It seems like she recalls it like a bad dream. Ianthe’s here, and they’re in a chapel made of bone. Or at least one absolutely covered in bone. 

Here’s a question. The necromancy Harrow excels at, that’s creating a whole ass skeleton from a single bit of bone. Is she actually creating a new skeleton? Or is she reforming one. Like if she had two teeth from the same skeleton, could she use that to make two new skeletons? In the last chapter the Ressurection was described as not creating anything new... does that apply to all of necromancy, or just what the Emperor did?

Also another side note, Harrow says the stars glow with an unearthly light, which matches what the Emperor said, that they restarted the stars near the Mithraeum with thanergy, so they’re weird now. Except... wasn’t Dominicus restarted the same way? Or is the Dominicus system a hybrid of thanergy and thalergy? I’m getting my energies mixed up.

Anyway yep it’s Cyntherea’s funeral, and Harrow is checking the fuck out.

Okay we have a new Lyctor... and I’m guessing it’s Augustine, since he and Mercymorn are fighting.  

Okay and John’s giving a speech and giving more lore about the pre-Ressurrection and it’s confirmed that this guy is Augustine and-

First gen? Second gen? Sixth installation?? Valancy? ANASTASIA?

bruh im so flooded and this is supposed to be such a reverent moment.

Ohhh this is awkward now that they’re pulling Ianthe and Harrow forward. Okay we get a formal introduction to Mercymorn and Augustine. Augustine trails off before the third... and asks if he, the third surviving Lyctor, knows about the missile strikes...Is the third Lyctor the one leading the people who shot down the warships, which is sounding increasingly like a rebellion rather than a battle against others? Who’s the third again ah fuck it’s ORTUS.

ORTUS is apparently interested in “you-know-what”. Which I don’t know what. Please elaborate. 

ORTUS is here and he’s skeletal. OH AND SO IS RESSURECTION BEAST NUMBER SEVEN.

FUCK.

(bruh what the fuck is a pseudo-Beast)

Okay yep time to fight an eldritch god.

Speaking of which, God’s name is John confirmed.

And Harrow bled from the ear and fell unconscious, hearing the name ORTUS.

Chapter 10

Pog we’re almost done with part 1. Fifth skull, sheared, so it’s flashback time. 

I don’t recognize immediately where we are; apparently this is in the library in Canaan House? Though I don’t remember one from Gideon the Ninth. We see a bit of personality from Ortus, when he complains about Fifth House poetry, which is nice. 

Oh, wait, never mind, that was Magnus speaking. Ortus remains as boring as ever.

Hehehehe dick jokes.

Hey so no fake vow of silence in the false memories of Canaan House! That’s interesting. As is Magnus and Abagail being here, and them being pretty fleshed out characters. As are these cooking instructions from the Lyctors...

HOOOOOOOLD the phone here. The cooking notes mention an M and Nigella... which was the first name of Cassiopeia’s cavalier... How would Harrow know that? The easy explanation is that this is a note that Harrow actually found, and is placing here in her fake memories... The other explanation is that something funky is afoot...

Ooohkay Magnus is asking if this is how it happens now. The simulation is breaking down. AND ABAGAIL CAN TELL THAT HARROW IS A LIVING WAR CRIME. PANIC.

Okay now we’re getting Ortus emotion! He is a grown ass man Harrow. At least, he would be, were he not a figment of Harrow’s imagination.

HEEEEY

WHAT THE FUUUUCK

WE’RE CONTINUING ON THIS DYING EGGS THING

PROBABLY WILL BE RELEVANT LATER.

Okay and the simulation breaks down further when Ortus says “you did have a cavalier with a backbone, I’m not them.” Interestingly enough, it’s hours later Harrow realizes something’s weird... Huh...

Chapter 11

Seventh House skull.

Literally just a paragraph saying Harrow sleepwalked and stabbed Cyntherea’s body.

...She sleep walked... the Sleeper from the fake Canaan House...

[roses-ruby]

7

part 2

00:00- You know how BTS always say they know how hard we have it and they want to be a source of comfort for us and that is a big reason for their existence? The vocal line deliver us that very comfort through this song. Jimin and Jin’s soft harmonization with V is a masterpiece. They want us to come back safe after a long day and just turn this song on, they want to relate to our pain and even if just a bit, lessen it. They want us to take a breath with them. The fan and celeb relationship has always been an equal give and take in my eyes - you give them happiness by supporting them and they give you happiness by supporting you. BTS are really the only idols out there verbalizing their love for us to this extent. I love this song, I could listen to it forever.

Inner Child- This song is so beautiful omggg Tae had one of the biggest character developments in the public eye imo. He used to be so so so silly. To me he is still the hardest person to figure out. If you think about it, how much do you actually know about Kim Taehyung? Has he not been the most private member in BTS by far? His aura’s just so different now, like he has gone through way too much. And as of right now, do any of ya’ll think of him as the same kid who said “turn up” in front of Coolio??? 🥴🤧 idk idk I’m rambling but the point is, Taehyung is different. His eyes were bright and heart was big but he was hurting. You’d never think that hyper, smiley kid was worried about the future. Someone who said he thinks bunnies are on the moon didn’t believe in galaxies. The always laughing kid, Taehyung wishes he would smile more genuinely. Imo we don’t know who the past Taehyung was and we never did. Tae is the only person who knows his true self, he’s the only one who will take care of himself. I’m just glad he has his own back.

Friends- Sounds like a movie honestly. The beat feels like an early 2000s romcom sksksk. In the idol life, the people you are in a group with are your coworkers. But Taehyung and Jimin have built a relationship beyond that. They’ve become so close and they are recalling all of that through this song, it’s so endearing. They do fight often but they also have the healthy understanding that these petty fights will never damage their relationship as a whole. They call one another soulmates because they honestly believe they were destined to meet. This is a sweet and intricate song that I don’t think needs an interpretation. If you met someone like Tae met Jimin, then you can truly relate. That feeling of “shit this is my other half...i wanna stay with this person” ssjhdshkd bruh singles look away. Vmin out here breaking hearts and I hope they will stay together far longer than forever.

Moon- Jin always out here making us feel beautiful wtf wtf. Jin my lovely boy, the one who always teases us first sldkhd he’s seriously such first love material it hurts. I love him. I love the way he loves us. The lyrics are so beautiful he wants to be our moon and we want to be his plz this is that “I love you more” “no I love you more” couple everyone hates but secretly wants to be sjkssk imo Jin has the most beautiful vocal tone, I’m addicted to his voice which is why I loved epiphany as much as I did. we all know he deserves so much more appreciation. I just want Jin to know he consistently awes me by his choice of solos and I’m desperately waiting for that solo album. I love him so much thank you for being my brightest moon.

Respect- Literally screamed when I saw the lyric to this song. YES kings tell them you remember how they treated you before the fame! You remember the constant bad mouthing and hate comments and lawsuits. You remember the disrespect. Tell them their “respect” means nothing now akhdka The industry treated them like dirt cause they weren’t one of the big 3 and I know OG ARMYs remember it. I love Yoongi and Joon’s interaction in this. Rapline is so tired of fake bullshit and I am so HERE for it. Yoongi’s always been the more blunt, hard hitting rapper and he really shows that through this song. Ya’ll know I’m a shooter right? And we all know the biggest shooter for BTS is BTS jahgdjag

We Are Bulletproof: The Eternal- Two seconds in and I was in tears??? They’ve worked so, so hard to reach where they are now and I hope no one forgets that. Literally bawled at “We were only seven but we have you all now” It’s so wild to look at BTS and think they are the group that made it. The group that broke endless boundaries. The group that became worldwide. Shit remember when we thought 100,00 preorders were hard?? jsksk The way the melody hits and their sweet voices one after the other just *chef’s kiss* Not to get emotional on main but the fact that their name is bulletproof? A word that has become symbolic in the means of striving through hate and pain. First they had one another and now they have us? The song that originally went hard and they rapped about having no fear and dissed others who looked down on them became a soft love song to talk about their pain and vulnerability? How they manage to survive hardships makes them move forward, how having loving people by their side is what makes them bulletproof? THE CHARACTER GROWTH? Yo BTS are god’s children ya’ll.

Overall, I love this album with my whole heart. They fully incorporated what it means to be 7 and as an OG ARMY, I cannot be more proud. Just compare their music from even ‘HER’ to now. Their is such growth in their lyrics and love in their hearts. Thank you to BTS for giving us bigger and better music to this day. For providing us with performances we can awe over and not losing their roots just because they’ve become big. I’m so grateful that they continue to be by my side.

part 1

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2019, Part VI

Yes, I know that it’s almost March. Thanks for taking the ride. GREAT MOVIES

22. Apollo 11 (Todd Douglas Miller)- To disrespect this movie is to disrespect the moon landing itself so... I do like listening to the Walter Cronkite snippets about "the burdens and dreams of all mankind" and smirking at the idiots who talk about "back when people just read the news without editorializing." 21. Waves (Trey Edward Shults)- I could have done with five fewer shots of people holding each other, and the foreshadowing could be more subtle, but, man, Shults takes some huge swings here, for a more powerful effect than either of his previous films had. It isn't often that a colorist gets a single card in the opening credits, but it makes sense for a film that stands out as much as this loud, woozy piece does. I don't think there's anything as present-tense this year as a character drunk-driving to Kanye West's "I Am a God." 20. Jojo Rabbit (Taika Waititi)- The dissenters of Jojo Rabbit have been pretty uniform in their negativity, and I think their stance has to do with not wanting to be told what to think or feel. (Putting "an anti-hate satire" on the poster has to fire up those haters.) This movie is not subtle or ambiguous, but you know what? Casablanca is a pretty didactic movie too. Let me back up from the C-word. For me, the film's emotional scenes are better than its comedic scenes, but in either form, Waititi directly engages with a ten-year-old in a way that neither romanticizes him nor condescends to him. That's such an imperfect, transformative age in a boy, and not enough movies are willing to wrestle with how ugly it can be. Roman Griffin Davis is pretty good, but he's spotted by sincere, compassionate performances by Thomasin McKenzie and Scarlett Johansson. It's possible that Johansson has never been better. I totally understand why someone with her sex symbol baggage would resist playing mothers; if I've done my homework, this is the first time she has done it, even though she's a parent in real life. But her maternal scenes here are heartbreaking in their patience, particularly in a scene for which her character "plays" herself and her absent husband. Besides uncorking a more vulnerable part of herself, Johansson nails the performative aspect of being a parent, resisting the urge to make everything a lesson but wanting so desperately to be a positive example for a kid who needs one. 19. Honeyland (Ljubomir Stefanov and Tamara Kotevska)- I greatly prefer the term "non-professional actor" or "first-time actor" to "non-actor" because it's only human nature to act differently when being filmed. The second even a camera filming a birthday party captures you, you start to perform. But in handmade stone houses in rural Macedonia, the subjects are true non-actors. They have no affect because, in all likelihood, they have not seen a movie before. So the way that Hatidze lived over the course of the three years of this project--with purpose, focus, and wisdom--seemed new to me. Honeyland is the gift that I always hope for from documentary and (especially) foreign documentary: a slice of life that I never knew I needed. 18. Under the Silver Lake (David Robert Mitchell)- Andrew Garfield's Sam spends a lot of time on his balcony surveying his apartment complex, staring at a topless woman in a way that recalls Marlowe in The Long Goodbye, one reference point among hundreds. Sometimes he watches through binoculars, sometimes he watches through blinds--blind imagery that shows up over and over again in a movie about voyeurism. Anyway, this neighbor keeps parrots, who we're told as kids can "talk." Not that the animals have any conscious intention with their mimicking, but they replicate what they hear or are taught. The words are signified without any signifiers, so it's hard to even classify the noises as speech. Maybe those noises are everything--a tie to our species that reveals impressive intelligence--but maybe they're nothing--a silly hope of a world that seems less alone. And that subjective interpretation of code is the clearest metaphor in an otherwise elliptical, bizarre, sprawling, sui generis film. It's messy alright. Some of the threads lead nowhere, but in a movie about order and chaos, that's obviously the point. The scene with The Songwriter--barely any of the characters have names--is over ten minutes and might not have any narrative consequence. But in the moment it's earth-shattering and urgent. And maybe I'm the obvious audience, but I'm not going to complain about anyone taking a dance break for "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?" 17. 1917 (Sam Mendes)- Weirdly enough, a Lauryn Hill line kept bouncing around in my head as I was nervously tapping my foot: "It could all be so simple, / But you had to make it hard." This is a direct story told with impossible technical aptitude. 1917 isn't saying anything new, but have you ever seen a plane crash ten feet away from the camera forty-five minutes into an unbroken take? No offense, but do you remember when we were all impressed that Creed had a five-minute fight in one take? Blimey. 16. American Factory (Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert)- It's a rare documentary that makes its case so gracefully and so forcefully at the same time. The film ends so conclusively that it could be considered labor activism, but it's so fair that the union-busting schmucks are willing to joke around with the filmmakers without obfuscating at all. The obvious forebearer for this sort of boots-on-the-ground snapshot of American labor is Harlan County U.S.A., but American Factory is more staid and less concerned with setting because, you know, this could be anywhere.The Chairman is the best villain since Thanos, and as he looked back on his life while walking around his empty cabana, I had to squint a bit to make sure he wasn't purple.

15. Ad Astra (James Gray)- Ad Astra declares so that it can suggest. The opening crawl says that the near future is a "time of hope and conflict," but all we see is the conflict: the pirates on a borderless moon that we've ruined with Applebee'ses, the neglected wife leaving her ring on a table, the voiceover that declares, "I always wanted to be an astronaut...for all mankind and all." This film will take place in four parts--Earth, Moon, Mars, Neptune--and each part will offer unique obstacles to challenge our phlegmatic but confused hero. But all of that table-setting allows James Gray to explore. There's a scene in which the Roy character uses a belt to pull himself, one tug at a time, deeper into the unknown, and we see the action through the reflection in his helmet as we're watching his face. We're seeing through his eyes but at a remove, and in this moment we're watching him heave himself into emptiness, thinking that the more distant and lonely and absent he gets, the more of a man he becomes. We know that's not true, but we kind of think it is from the movies, and Ad Astra has a happy ending if only because it wants to disprove that notion. Lots of artistes talk about how they could, without compromise, make grand, big-budget entertainments if they only wanted to. James Gray did. 14. Ash Is Purest White (Jia Zhangke)- In a train on the way to her hometown, the protagonist Xiao casually tells a fellow passenger that she has seen a UFO. Although it comes up later in a sort of magic realism flourish, her statement seemed like a character moment for me. People who see UFOs are either guileless rubes or attention-seeking hucksters, and that's the dance of Tao Zhao's performance. Even after seeing the movie, I can't tell which one Xiao is. Often it changes in the course of a scene. The time when she shows the most agency, firing off her boyfriend's illegal gun to ward off his attackers, results in the time when she is the most helpless, being ordered around in jail. She might confess her ex-con status in a moment of vulnerability, then flake out at the next train stop in an attempt to seize her power back. (It's worth mentioning that there are lots of movies about flaky drifters who don't pay the tab, but few of them are about women.) Even the way that she holds her backpack--frontways--is street-smart and child-like at the same time. This is the second film that Jia has made with a triptych setting, (Mountains May Depart is slightly superior.) and he doesn't make the flash forwards obvious. He invites the performance's same sort of healthy confusion upon the viewer with the formal elements. I, for one, am willing to get probed by these foreign objects. 13. Toy Story 4 (Josh Cooley)- I questioned a late moment in the film, one of the plottier ones in which Woody goes back to save another toy one more laborious time. When I sighed, my wife reminded me, "He never leaves a toy behind." Toy Story 4 is a dazzling upgrade in the series from a visual standpoint, (I gasped again at Woody lying in a damp, sunny patch of concrete.) but it's more of a reminder of the consistent character development and weight that have been blanketing us for twenty-three years. Pixar isn't reinventing the wheel because it is the wheel. Sure, the characters are too numerous and separate now. I miss the OG's Rex and Hamm. But for one thing, that rogue's gallery makes it funnier when, say, Buttercup pops up with a joke out of nowhere. And the new characters, particularly Forky the Nihilist, are so lovable that I wouldn't know who to trade. Toy Story 4 is probably the worst of the franchise, but that franchise--especially when its subtext seems to be questioning people who want to stop intellectual property from evolving--might be the best we have. 12. Clemency (Chinonye Chukwu)- In discussing the aftermath of an execution, Alfre Woodard's warden character Bernadine mentions the mother who will claim a prisoner's body, who will follow through with plans for burial. And I realized, to be honest, that I had never thought about how executed bodies are claimed and laid to rest, though obviously those sad practicalities persist. This whole film is a reminder of the numerous costs that arise from a system that is out of time and out of reason. To that end, every character is fully drawn with empathy. For example, the assistant warden, which could have been a nothing part, has ambitions and fears that give him an arc that shades the protagonist. The Richard Schiff and Wendell Pierce characters make the film about the compromised promises of retirement, but the assistant warden is there to tug us back into law enforcement. Neon ended up putting this movie on the awards circuit back burner, but Aldis Hodge deserves the world. Although the film piles on one indignity too many for my taste, drifting into miserableism, Hodge's performance has a rare possessive quality. Catatonic in his most crestfallen moments and antic when he clings to hope, Hodge drags the audience along with him. The character is quiet, but every word counts. 11. The Farewell (Lulu Wang)- I was not been more thoroughly charmed all year, especially by Awkwafina, who is a revelation in a tricky role. There are a few scenes that get comedic effect through repetition, and it's telling that the subtitles stop by the third or fourth run-through of a line. The movie assumes you're smart, which goes even further than its piercing emotion. Shout-out to Mr. Li, who made me crack up every time I saw him. The elderly sort-of-boyfriend is such a common figure in real life, but I'm not sure I've ever seen that character type on screen. I'm not sure I've seen any of this on-screen, and that's the reason the film exists.

10. Avengers: End Game (Joe Russo and Anthony Russo)- For a guy who grew up in the '30s, Captain America is pretty cool with gay people. 9. Gloria (Sebastian Lelio)- I saw Lelio's original Gloria, the one that he's remaking here, and it didn't do much for me, even though it hit some of the same beats as this one. I wonder what the difference could be...do you think the total commitment of one of the greatest actresses in the world matters? Lelio documents who this woman is to her children, to her mother, to her ex-husband, to her lover, to her co-workers, and it's by tracking the tiny compromises of those relationships that the viewer gets to see the fully realized her. The cyclical editing of those pieces--sing a disco song to herself in the car, rinse, repeat--ends up lulling the viewer into his role of seeing the complete Gloria. It ends up being a fun, absorbing process. I yelled out loud at Turturro for disrespecting my girl. Moore, who is in every scene, sells us on these different versions of the character through complete control of her instrument. She lets headphones slump along her body at work. She kneels down toward a street performer in a more maternal way than she ever presents with her actual daughter. She sits cross-legged with her best friend, as if they're little girls. I won't spoil what she does at the end, when she is at her most empowered. 8. Midsommar (Ari Aster)- I love this movie, but, boy, is it a friendship killer if you recommend it to the wrong person. Whether you liked Hereditary or not is a good predictor for your taste, but I think Ari Aster's follow-up is much better: Whereas the unpredictability of Hereditary makes the mysticism of its final fourth seem like a leap that you either accept or don't, Midsommar is driving so hard in one direction that its dread is even more pronounced. (The prologue is so masterfully deliberate and gloomy that it takes a long time for the film to get back to those depths.) For comparison's sake again, Aster was painting in the colors of hysteria and fractured relationships before, but the new film seems much more biting and vital in the way it depicts modern men and women. I'm thinking of the way Dani excuses herself at the risk of compromising her safety or rationalizes her boyfriend's forgetting her birthday with "Well, I didn't remind him." All of the characters become victims of a misinformed, selfish brand of multicultural tolerance that makes them rationalize evil instead of speaking up, and that acceptance serves the plot way better than the average horror movie's running up the stairs instead of out the door. For his part, Christian, who seems sympathetic at first, takes ideas, drugs, and even women for himself with impunity. (It's important that he's an anthropology student, and it's more important that his name is Christian.) When he colonizes his Black friend's thesis topic, it might seem like a tipping point, but he was one step ahead in using rules and approval for his purposes. None of the Americans bother to stop him, but that doesn't mean that no one stops him. 7. A Hidden Life (Terrence Malick)- "The sun shines on good and evil the same." In the baggy second hour of what might be Terrence Malick's most direct and linear film, martyr Franz Jagerstatter tosses off that line with grace and aplomb, at a time when most of us would have neither to spare. His captors are confused when he denies that his conscientious objection will make any difference in the war or when he doubts that he is more morally evolved than his countrymen. His refusal to pledge an oath to Hitler is a state with no outcome in mind, which the results-obsessed Nazis cannot understand. In that way he is the perfect Malickian hero, which means he is the perfect Heideggerian hero: a man who sees all planes of existence as equal--or at least equally unknowable to him. As a farmer, Franz observes and acts upon cycles, but he is smaller than Nature and the communion he finds with God there. So when he's torn from his family and daily life to be stuck in a prison, he is separated from that concord further and further. The key, however, is that he is no more or less powerful than before, and that knowledge is what gives him transcendental perspective. He is indifferent in the way that only a saint can be. Of course, what I'm describing also makes for a passive protagonist, which is why the cross-cutting to his wife Fani is so effective. She is the one who has to shoulder the burden of his ideals, and Valerie Pachner's stolid performance sells that sacrifice. The overall balance comes from the jagged but precise editing, and the production is all the more impressive for retaining the Malick style despite the absence of most of his regular collaborators. (This is the first time since The Thin Red Line that he hasn't worked with Jack Fisk, but there the production design is, crafting a 1940 Austrian town out of nothing and building a network of water symbolism that I don't understand yet.) In fact, the whirling steadicam and the avoidance of artificial light have more of a thematic purpose than ever if "the sun shines on good and evil all the same." Perhaps the greatest achievement of this film about unjust war is that it made me pray for Donald Trump today. Because if I want to be like Franz Jagerstatter, then I have to believe the light of God shines on him too. 6. Knives Out (Rian Johnson)- A third of the way into this imaginative, absorbing whodunit, I started to talk myself into the surface pleasures of cinema. "So what if it doesn't have much to say; look at these stars going for it with this spicy dialogue and these gleeful twists." Then the subtext asserts itself through a radiant Ana de Armas, and the subtext becomes the text in the final shot. Knives Out is the best of all worlds. Rian Johnson might be the first filmmaker for whom a Star Wars movie ends up being a footnote. 5. Everybody Knows (Asghar Farhadi)- There's a photograph hanging in the library (yes, the stately library) of the patrician family of my childhood best friend, and I'm in that picture. There I am, dressed a bit sloppier than everyone else, near the edge of the frame. Because I was there, as usual, and because they are kind. Everybody Knows is about one of those family friend outsiders, perhaps in a way that no other movie has been. When it's at its best, it's about what those marginal figures can and can't say, can and can't do. The film dips into soap opera territory, but only to sell its message of how secrets beget other secrets. For me, it's another Farhadi hit of approachable, modest conflict that bakes itself into an experience. 4. Marriage Story (Noah Baumbach)- The best divorce movie ever made--by the guy who wrote and directed the former belt holder of the best divorce movie ever made. These luminous lead performances aren't just about saying cutting, hurtful things or reacting to their child's preference for the other parent (or at least the other parent's toys). They're about the internal devastation of realizing you can never take back something you've said. Driver and Johansson each get a chance to sink into one of those moments, and they're joined by a head-tilting, blustery Laura Dern, who gets a Virgin Mary speech that won her an Oscar. And there are jokes! Underrated aspect of the movie: The son is kind of a dipshit. I like that he just hates math and wants to eat candy, as opposed to the cute prodigies we've seen before in this type of movie. They're fighting over a kid only a parent could love. INSTANT CLASSICS

3. Uncut Gems (Josh Safdie and Benny Safdie)- Howard the jeweler lives somewhere in upstate New York, but he has an apartment in the city. It's an apartment that is close enough for him to cab over to his mistress who lives there, but it's far enough away that his family wouldn't bother popping in for a visit. That sort of gap is present throughout Uncut Gems: Family members act differently in the Diamond District than they do at seder, and we first see Howard from the literally vulnerable inside of a colonoscopy, not the animated brio of his tightrope-walking exterior. Of course, the gem of the title is the ultimate division: something pure that the characters are searching for, untouched by the process that Howard, by definition, does. And the film is about how little he can abide by purity. Until now, The Gambler (1974) was probably the best film of this type, a snapshot of a cursed man who seems to be gambling with forces way beyond the game in question. But Uncut Gems is more pathological, more authentic, more intense, and more decisively realized. By focusing more on character than the Safdie Brothers' other work, it offers a unique depiction of compulsive behavior and implicates the audience in rooting for Howard's (technically unrealistic) parlay. By doubling down on his bets or re-uniting with his girlfriend, Howard thinks that he can reinvent himself and start anew. But like the legacy of the Chosen People the film depicts, like the lines on all of these great New York faces, some things are permanent.

2. The Irishman (Martin Scorsese)- "It's what it is." You wouldn't blame someone if he saw the logline and lineup of The Irishman and expected GoodFellas. In fact, this one quotes Scorsese's signature film continually. Instead of slicing onions with a razorblade, old convicts pitch bocce balls. Instead of tracking sumptuously through the Copa, Scorsese's camera wanders through a nursing home. Instead of pistol-whipping Karen's neighbor for getting handsy, our protagonist curb-stomps a grocery owner for shoving his daughter. But there's a GoodFellas staple that is missing. The first fourth of that crime saga closes as Young Henry, played by Christopher Serrone, gets rewarded for staying mum in court. All of his partners in crime cheer him, and he is told that he learned a valuable lesson (in protecting the family and subverting the law). Then we cut to Adult Henry, played by Ray Liotta now, because Young Henry has learned everything he has to know. The Irishman has no such moment of elevation or revelation. Frank is, crucially, played by Robert De Niro over the course of decades because his fall from grace--if there ever was grace--is too imperceptible for any before-and-after divide. The lessons that he learns are just as corrupting as what Henry discovers: Power comes from insularity. Having power means you don't have to prove it. Organized crime, organized labor, and the political process are all the same thing. A code is all a man has, but all codes have limits. However, Frank's corruption, the selling of his soul, doesn't even bring an Asian-inspired chiffonier or a Janice Rossi sidepiece. Frank doesn't get rich; he jams his hands into a plastic ice bucket at the bar next to his couch. He doesn't get powerful; he has to kill because Russell is too prominent to be in the same town as a hit. He doesn't get glory; even a celebration held in his honor is just an excuse for more influential men to do business. Frank is a tool, and he is trapped in a fruitless silence, at best an accessory at meetings. (De Niro is doing quoting of his own. There's a lot of Jackie Brown's Louis in his shrugs and smirks.) As boisterous as Scorsese's films can be, he also knows how to use silence. Robbie Robertson's score is weak, but luckily the film goes without for long stretches, including a suspenseful car ride that begins with a treacherous hug and ends with a malignant secret. The best performance comes from Joe Pesci, probably because his stolid stillness matches the overall atmosphere. Of course, the quietest moments correlate to the loneliest moments: Frank touring a cemetery or sitting with a door half-cracked to a complicit viewer. It's the silence of deliberate toil. Like the mobster ripping up carpet in the lake house, Scorsese is on his hands and knees destroying his own myths.

1. Parasite (Bong Joon-ho)- Parasite is Bong Joon-Ho's masterpiece because it distills the worldview and passions that he previously flirted with into a condensed but elaborate statement. In the same way that Mean Streets is perfectly good but feels like a rehearsal for the slow boil of encircling gangster life in GoodFellas. In the same way that Hitchcock played with the impotent everyman voyeur in a confined setting but didn't perfect it until Rear Window. Like the examples above, Parasite, a true ensemble, is a case of the subtext becoming text. Back in his native country and language, working more or less with realism, Bong is free to take aim at class in a more direct but still wacky way. In all of its crowd provocation--there's so much pleasure in just a suspenseful winding down stairs--the film is destined to be a foreign film gateway drug. But really it just makes we want to take a half-star off my Snowpiercer review since I know Bong can do better now.

[mizznancywheelerfic]

OG Jonsa. Crackship Jonsa. If it’s not your thing, turn away, but this fic is still cute to me so imma post it. Bye. 

Title: A Castle of Snow

by eleanor_rigby

Summary:

Stark Wildlings AU. Sansa was a gentle girl dreaming of castles and princes. However, she was also born into the world of the Free Folk where women are stolen unless they’re of the fiercest kind.

Published at: 2013-01-01

Revised at: 2013-01-01 07:00:00 -0500

Sansa lay on the cold snow with her dagger firmly pressed against her chest.  She usually held the weapon in her the pocket of her thick, woolen breeches, but tonight she decided to keep it close. The night was always the most dangerous part of any day. Indeed, that was the time when many of the women of the clan were taken, right in the dead of night while the others slept.

The moon shone brightly tonight and Sansa’s eyes focused on the glowing orb, comforted by the thought that she might be able to view an attacker if he came her way.

For now, all was calm.

Ever since Sansa was one-and-ten, the women had warned her to be vigilant of any man who might try and steal her from the clan. They all said she was already beautiful and men would be more than thrilled to steal a girl with her looks. She may have been young, but that would be of little thought to potential attackers.

Indeed, there had been close incidents. The first occurred when the vicious blonde boy from a larger clan named Joffrey came close to stealing her before Sansa’s direwolf, Lady, slew him by tearing apart his throat with her teeth. Sansa could recall the way he sputtered and cried as the direwolf snatched his last moments of life. Her eyes widened with fear, but there was a strange mixture of compassion and elation in her belly.  

Yet, Lady was gone now.

Not long after Joffrey’s death, Sansa had found the great wolf drenched in her own blood one morning. How she cried for her poor direwolf. Sansa’s younger sister, Arya, suspecte d that Joffrey’s mother slew the wolf in revenge. While Sansa did not like to believe the worst of people, it seemed possible that the great spearwife, Cersei, would take revenge for the death of her beloved, horrific son. Sansa knew she was feared by all, even by the most fearsome of warriors.

Nevertheless, the others told her to quit her crying and move past the wolf’s death. That was far easier said than in practice.  Sansa knew her tears and gentle nature were not approved by anyone but her family. Her mother said she would surely be stolen if she did never come into her fighting skills. Sansa was never a fighter, and she knew would never be a spearwife. It hurt to fall short of such expectations.

There were a few times Sansa tried to throw an arrow or swing a weapon, but they were always far too heavy or they would not hit their target by a long shot. Her failures caused the other boys and girls to giggle at her weak combat skills and the laughter brou ght tears to Sansa’s eyes every time. The only comfort would come when her mother’s hand would always caress her chesnut hair and tell her she would grow into her skills eventually, but they never did come. The disappointment in their eyes was never hard to miss, though they tried to hide it.

The second time a man tried to steal Sansa; she was three-and-ten. Only a few months passed since Joffrey attempted to steal her, but Lady was not here to save Sansa from the abductor this time. She knew who the man was as soon as she found herself cradled in his large arms and stared at the ugly, disfigured face above her. The man was called Sandor, or the Hound, and he was known to be particularly large and horrible in attitude and combat. In the past, Sansa had noticed him looking at her intensely when she helped gather kindling or make songs for the companion birds, but she did not suspect he would attempt to steal her. But he was too large for her to fight off. The few pu nches she attempted made no sound. All she could do was weep and beg him to set her free, but he did no such thing.

Her savior came in the form of a direwolf she could make out in the distance over Sandor’s shoulder. For a second, she wondered if Lady returned to save her.

But Lady’s dead. It can’t be her. Only the stories and songs are full of ghosts…

When the figured emerged from the shadows, it became clear the beast was not Lady. The creature was Arya’s direwolf, Nymeria. The Hound dropped her to the ground as the wolf sunk her sharp teeth into his leg. Sansa scrambled up from the snow and the Hound fell upon his knees. Another figure came running as the Hound yelled out in agony. Sansa was glad to be free of his grip, but she was mortified by the brutal attack in front of her. Death would never be something she to which she ever could become accustomed.  As she took her eyes from the bloody sight, her eyes were met with the vision of Arya running towards her. She was much disheveled and carried her little wooden practice sword. Before Sansa could say anything, Arya grabbed her by the hand. They ran back to the camp and slept closely to each other, trying their best not to wake anyone.

Sansa turned to whisper in Arya’s ear.

“Thank you for s-saving me. How did you know I was being stolen?”

“Well, Nymeria was licking my face an awful lot, and then I got up to swat her off. When I looked around, I couldn’t see you. Everyone knows that you wouldn’t be out this late, and half the men here and in the other clans talk about stealing you. Don’t be stupid.”

Then Arya turned to sleep, and Sansa leaned over to hold her younger sister by the waist, tears streaming down her eyes.

So close.

In the morning, Nymeria was sleeping at their feet with her fur stained with red blood.

No one said a word of what occurred, but Sansa knew they must have known. Now, the others in the clan looked at her with less pity, but Sansa took no pride in what happened to the men.

As the clan moved on to different places for supplies and food, she stood next to her mother and begged for stories. It had been that way since was a small child. Catelyn tried not to tell her anymore stories, for they were not appropriate for a girl of her age, but Sansa’s attitude perked when she was being told a tale of a southron knight and his lady. Sansa loved those the best, though no one could fathom why. She simply loved hearing of the southron kingdoms below the Wall. They all sounded so lovely and remarkable. So different from this desolate, cold world she only knew.

“Don’t start getting thoughts about becoming no lady, Sansa. You’re of the Free Folk. You must concentrate on being fierce, not manners,” her mother once told her.

Sansa turned pink. “I never said I wanted to be a lady! I just like hearing the stories, that’s all.”

Catelyn raised an eyebrow and turned to face the clan. Sansa did the same and viewed Arya playing with the boys, especially that one large, dark-haired boy she seemed to favor so much, Gendry. She could also see all the girls fighting with one another. They never allowed Sansa to play with them, so Sansa usually stayed at her mother’s side as a result. A feeling of sadness filled her belly as Sansa feared she would never fit in.

In the coming days, Sansa caught a glimpse of the Wall as they strode past it on their journeys. She had never been so far south in her entire life. Her neck caught a strain because of how much she tried to take in all of it before the clan moved past. Once, she had been told that there were castles on the other side where the southron crows lived. Her eyes could not see castles through the thick, dark ice, but she knew they must be there. Perhaps they were made of ice as well.

A castle of snow…how wonderful to see. If only I could.

Their clan was a small but fierce. Men followed her father, Ned, because he was true and formidable at once. He was as cold as the north itself and he even had respect from the crows.

The crows would never bother with them before, but they were apparently under the command of a boy if the new whispers were true. Sansa kept her ears open at these whispers and learned that he was also known to be the youngest son of the south's Dragon King.

“Another one of those fucking dragons,” said one of the men who escaped from a clash with the crows.

Sansa’s heart fluttered at the thought of a prince being so close. She wondered if he was handsome and valiant as the princes in the tales.

Would he also be violet-eyed and silver-haired?

Sansa’s eyes took a break from gazing at the moon and she closed them.  Within a few seconds the peace of sleep came, but the dagger she held to her chest remained firmly in her grip.

The sleep did not last long. Sounds of fighting filled Sansa’s dreams, and she soon realized that the noises were not from the dream world she was immersed in. She got up immediately and tried to see amidst the chaos. The light of the moon could only serve so well while men and women were fighting in every direction.

She did see men in black, though.

They’re fighting the crows.

Then, a voice that sounded like her mother yelled out, “Run, Sansa!”

Sansa wasted no time and obeyed the command. She ran as fast as she could and wished with all her heart that Lady could be at her side once again. Lady would have protected her in such a fierce battle. Sansa knew it.

Her feet were sore and painful by the time she stopped running. She paid no attention to which direction she was headed and collapsed between large hills of snow. Tears trickled down her frost-tingled cheeks.

I can’t go any further. It’s too painful. Please, let someone find me before I die. I swear I’ll never wish ill on Jeyne again. Even when she’s teasing me before the other girls. Please…

Sansa awoke to the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. For a moment she thought it might be one of her siblings, and tried to move the hand away without bothering to open her eyes. Then she remembered the circumstances of last night, and her eyes snapped open. Sansa sat up immediately and looked upon the stranger before her.

He was a crow.

He was tall and handsome with dark hair. His face was long and solemn, but there was a quality that Sansa was thought was beautiful. He must have been six-and-ten if she were to guess.

There was only silence between the two until he asked, “Who are you?”

Sansa paused for a second.

“I’m…Sansa. Who are you?”

The man stood straight before saying, “I’m the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch.”

He’s the prince they spoke of. He does not look like how I imagined a prince. Handsome, yes, but he looks too serious. His hair is dark and he has grey eyes. I thought princes were of more fair coloring like the stories tell, but I suppose not.

As Sansa surveyed the sight, she noticed rough-looking man not far behind from the prince.

“Lord Snow, you got one of those wildlings?” the man said.

The prince turned his face from Sansa to answer, “Yes, but she’s just a girl.”

Soon the man was standing right next to the prince and right before Sansa.

The man looked her up and down before saying, “She’s a pretty one. Must be one of Ned’s followers. Maybe she’s a spearwife. Better to kill her now before she gets any ideas.”

Sansa’s eyes widened, “I’m not a spearwife! I promise I won’t hurt either of you. I’m a horrible fighter. My father is Ned. Please, take me back. I swear he won’t hurt you.”

Her eyes became glassy and she turned all her attention to the prince. His handsome face bore a frown.

“Perhaps she is right. I knew a spearwife before, and she would’ve killed us by now. This girl is not a fighter. I would return you to your father, but I believe they’ve long departed.  For now, you can come to the Wall,” the prince said solemnly before putting his hand out for her to take.

The rough man did not looked please as Sansa took the prince’s hand and stood up.

“What are you gonna do with this wildling? And a girl, too!  Gods, you’re a soft one, Snow.”

The prince sighed as the three walked.

“She can stay in Castle Black for the time being. Ned’s clan might be angry, but they hate Tywin’s forces as much as we do. This girl, Sansa, is it?” he turned to Sansa for confirmation and she nodded, “she could help us.”

The rough man merely spat in the snow and said, “Sam’ll be jealous of your new lady love, Lord Snow.”

Sansa turned pink at the words, “lady love.”

Am I to be his lady love? No, don’t be stupid. He’s only taking you to this castle until they can meet your father again.  But perhaps…

Sansa turned her head to gaze once again at the prince’s face and their eyes met. His greys softened at her before his cheeks turned a little red and he fixed his eyes upon the great wall before them.

[disappearinginq]

OG Excerpt of Randomness - because really, do I do any other kind?

“What?” I protested angrily. “What do you mean, I don’t get to go with you this summer?”

Dad kept his eyes on the road, refusing to even look at me. “Did I stutter?” he asked. “I meant exactly what I said. You’re not coming on the road with me this season, end of story.”

“Not that I have anything against Casey and her family, but come on! I haven’t seen you for more than like a week all semester!”

For every summer, as long as I can remember, Dad and I have spent it on the road together. It’s nothing fancy – Dad is a long haul truck driver. Together we’ve crisscrossed the continental United States more than a dozen times every summer. I’ve even been to Canada a few times, depending on who he’s working for. But during the school year, I stay with Casey and her folks because there’s no time even for homeschooling on the road.

I don’t remember the last time I spent a summer in one place.

“Look, dad, I’m sorry about the fight!” I said, trying to apologize for what felt like the millionth time. “But Nate –”

“I don’t care what Nate said, or what his friend said, or what anyone said, Erin!” Dad cut me off. “You threw the first punch over words. People will always say bad things, things that aren’t true, or things that will make you angry. But they’re just words, and you don’t seem to understand that. I told you last year, no more fighting or you weren’t coming with me. Did you think I was bluffing?”

“Well, no…” I said, feeling my face flush pink.

“Did you think I was going to make an exception if the fight was about defending me against a couple of kids I don’t even know the last names of?” he continued.

“No…” I muttered.

“You have got to learn to control your temper, young lady,” Dad said. “And clearly, being on the road with a bunch of truckers with the social graces of drunk sailors is not hacking it.”

“It’s not like Casey’s family is any better!” I protested. “I mean, sometimes I wonder whether or not she was actually raised by wolves.”

Dad shook his head as we pulled to the intersection just before Casey’s house. “I’m not rewarding you by leaving you all summer with your best friend who clearly has no better influence on you.”

Instead of turning right towards Casey’s, we turned left towards the highway.

“Uh, what? Dad, you missed the turn – it’s that way,” I said, gesturing out the window towards the familiar dirt road.

“No, I didn’t,” Dad said. “What did I just tell you?”

“That I wasn’t being rewarded by spending the summer with my friend?” I echoed hesitantly. “But…you also said I wasn’t coming on the road with you. Last I checked, those were the only two options.”

A sudden weight formed in my stomach.

“You’re taking me to the children’s home?” I protested.

Dad actually looked at me for that little outburst, the look on his face clearly stating he thought I was being an idiot. But seriously, that was the only other thing I could think of. Mom was gone, we didn’t have any contact with her family, and Casey’s mom and dad had been my adopted relatives since I was old enough to crawl. If I wasn’t going to Casey’s, and I wasn’t going with him, I had only but so many places to go that didn’t involve him leaving me on the side of the road with a backpack and a ‘fare thee well’.

“What?” he said. “No. I’m not taking you to an orphanage. Jesus, kid. I may not be happy with you, but you’ve done worse things in your life and I haven’t once thought to leave you. You’re going to stay with family.”

I scrunched my face up, trying out that thought. “Family,” I echoed. It sounded strange even to me, without the context of it being either my dad or Casey. “Hold up, I thought you were like an orphan or something?” A terrible thought occurred to me. “You’re going to leave me in the cemetery all summer?”

I got that same incredulous look, like my dad was wondering where he went wrong with me, and if I was even his.

“You’ve heard me talk about my brother,” he said flatly.

“Uncle George? Um, yeah, but nothing close to what I would call affectionate,” I said. Actually, most of the words used to describe him were words I couldn’t repeat in polite society. Or in the presence of an adult if I wanted to avoid being grounded for a month.  

“Yeah, well, he agreed to take you on for the summer,” dad explained, eyes back on the road and away from me.

“You’re sending me to live with strangers?” I said. “How is that any different than leaving me at the orphanage? A less stringent return policy? Buy back options? At least I could have a moderate say in who adopted me instead of just getting dumped with some guy I barely know.”

“Oh, well, when you put it like that, I can totally see your point,” Dad said sarcastically. “Let me just hang a u-ey and we’ll put this whole thing behind us.”

I crossed my arms across my chest, slouching into the seat. “Sarcasm. That’s helpful.”

“Just because your uncle and I may not be on the best of terms, doesn’t mean we can’t help one another out. He offered to take you in for the summer because he has the room, and he feels bad that you haven’t gotten to know one another. Or that you and your cousins haven’t met since you were babies.”

“I have cousins?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, Erin, you have cousins, and you’ve met before. Don’t pretend like you don’t know them.”

I tried to recall anything resembling cousins in my memory and drew a complete blank. “You wanna give me some context?”

“The family reunion in Tennessee when you were like three,” Dad explained.

“So thirteen years ago? Gee, wonder why I don’t remember that.”

“It was at that big lake,” Dad continued. “Remember? They had a big boat, and we went out fishing almost every morning on it?”

Okay, that actually sounded a little familiar. Not that I remembered cousins being there, but I do remember being up at the crack of dawn with my dad and a fishing rod on a bright teal lake on a boat I know we couldn’t ever afford.

“Vaguely,” I admitted. “But if we were on such good terms then, what happened? How come I don’t have anything more recent? Like – a Christmas card or something?”

My dad shrugged, his answer for when he didn’t want to get into details with me. “Well, right after that, your mom was gone, and I didn’t talk to them for a while, and your uncle took it kind of personal, I think.”

I suppose that makes sense. I don’t really have any clear memories of my mother, and dad doesn’t talk about her. We don’t even have pictures.

“How many cousins do I have?” I asked, trying not to sound too interested. You know, just in case he thought I’d forgiven him.

“George has two daughters. Melissa and Miranda. I think one is your age, and the other one is probably about…thirteen?” Dad said, eyes back on the road. I glanced at the signs. We were headed north. “They’re into horses too. You might actually like one another by the end of the summer.”

“Sounds promising,” I grumbled. In my experience, people my own age and I didn’t go together very well. Also, to be fair, I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with people my own age. I spent most of my time with Casey, who was an only child of two older parents, or with Dad and a bunch of guys and women closer to his age than mine.

“Maybe if you didn’t have the social graces of a honey badger, I’d have higher hopes of you getting along sooner than that, but face it, honey. You and people just aren’t a good match. Hopefully, some of their manners rub off on you and you can finally make it through a school year without winding up in detention, failing classes or getting into fights.”

“That’s some pretty lofty goals there, Pops,” I said.

“I’ll be happy with one out of three. I won’t even pick which one, just to make it sporting.”

[jchichibu]

Things that God told me.

Hi, this took me a little long to pen down. It’s not because I’m too busy or I’m procrastinating – but simply because I am someone who tends to rank priorities wrongly. Penning down my thoughts about my 7-month journey in SOT (School of Theology) was something I was tasked by Lester, but something I really wanted to do even before he asked for it. Take it as a reminder for me, and take it as a 17-minute read of my 7-month endeavour for anyone who is interested.

My name is Jasmine, better known as Chichibu or CCB (Titus 1:15 lol) and I am 24 this year (it’s still 2018 as of 6:43 PM 31 December 2018 as I pen this on my way home from Malacca on the coach :P). I graduated from City Harvest Church’s School of Theology Class of 2018, and the course began from 26 Feb and I graduated on 30 Sep. As quoted by one of my favourite persons in my life Claria, I am certainly the “last person ever you will think of going SOT”. True, SOT never once crossed my mind even being in church since I was 16 and every year they ask you to tell your neighbours “Join SOT!”, but I never wanted to, or never thought I needed to. Throughout my Christian walk, the OG and most tangible thing was the love of God. I was never the most holy, most spiritual, most caring, most enthusiastic person for Christ and I might feel somewhat stagnant in my walk (but I was contented honestly). I was becoming lukewarm. I forget to read the Bible, spurt vulgarities or flash finger signals I probably should never ever have, think or covet for things I should not and did things I’m not proud of. I sometimes would not want to show I am a Christian because I don’t want people to think badly of Christianity. I am just not a standard girl you would expect to want to go SOT.

However, a week before the closing of registration of SOT I had a push from God to join SOT. I went for a jog and I remembered clearly at the uphill of Toh Tuck Rise I made a decision to register for SOT. Yea, people who are not from my church will think I really sot, I just got lifted my burdens of having 4 private tutees out of my full time job, and now am I really doing this to myself? To burden myself with SOT, full time job and attempting have a social life? I was also motivated to have my routine of working out every morning and even had plans to sign up something with Ling Hui at the gym. SOT is a commitment and yes, I have to wake up at 7 AM everyday for SOT at 8.45 AM and end work generally when the sky is dark. Ok la obviously I just yolo-ed and ‘took a leap of faith’, said goodbye to chill 2018 and registered for SOT!!! Through it all I know that God will carry me through and nothing is too hard for Him. Though at that moment I really can’t believe I’m doing this to myself.

I am not going write about what SOT is about, but I am going to pen my revelations. I did keep a dated record of things that spoke to me throughout my journey and I hope some of these will relate to some of you and serve as a reminder for me as the year closes. Hopefully the (long) introduction above gave you some sort of context as to who I am, and now I begin: Things that God told me.

1.       It is not by my might that I am saved, or that God loves me. You can rely on Jesus to forgive you, but do not take it for granted. Cheap grace is not what we are looking for here. When God forgives, remember to learn something from it and avoid the mistake again.

2.       Since 16, I recalled every moment that I prayed for something, gets it eventually and forget that it was God. Countless times with my knees bent worshipping God in SOT, I was reminded of how smooth my life has been. I remember when I was 18, I was praying to get into a local university because my results were not fantastic. I was scared. But look, I got accepted into my first choices for the 3 local unis. I remember when I was 21, I got into exchange programme without even meeting the critieria of cGPA 3.5 (lol). I remember when I was 22, I was so anxious after my paper because I felt I would fail the paper and that means I will retain and not graduate with my peers (Ely do you remember us drinking Tiger at ahlian? Haha). Look, I scored a D or something in the end but I graduated as planned.

3.       I’ve disappointed God several times, I am in church but I feel like shit, you know. I have had bad days, where I feel freaking unworthy of God to love me and I want to run away. Having the revelation that God has not disappointed me a single time makes me more mindful how mighty He is, and how weak I am, and how much I needed to stop disappointing God. We cannot not sin, truth is, we all have. But we can make a decision everyday to rely on God. The authority to defeat Satan is in me. God loves me so much. So so so so sosoososososososoooooo much what is my next move?

The woman was left alone. Jesus stood up and spoke to her. “Woman, where are they? Does no one condemn you?” “No one, Master.” “Neither do I,” said Jesus. “Go on your way. From now on, don’t sin.” (John 8:9-11)

4.       Learn to wait upon the Lord. Those who know me personally know I am a relatively fast paced person. I do not really like to wait or queue up for things and I speak super quickly.. I know Jeremiah 29:11 very well but I still plan things for myself anyway. Is this lack of faith/disbelief in God that I am experiencing? But I know God has a plan for me. You see, it gets very conflicting, for fear that my impatience will ‘spoil’ God’s good plans for me. As 2019 becomes less fast paced and I become older, may I calm my tits down and tarry in the Lord. It means to stay longer than expected and be patient in hope. Because for the record, God’s plans has always been good to me – when I see the big picture now for the uncertainties I felt in the past, everything makes sense. I need to truly believe that God will provide, God is truly the overseer of my life, God’s timing will come.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. (Matthew 6:33)

5.       Be thankful to God and always be. If you are thankful, you will always find your way back to Jesus. Take thanksgiving to God more seriously, EVERYDAY. And I thank God that every night before I sleep I always have something to be thankful about up.

6.       Right values and right spirit translates to right actions. I’ve learnt to set boundaries for my value system, not everything is okay, even if my free-spirited soul tells me “aiya yolo” countless times. Spirit wise, I need to talk to God more consistently. The Holy Spirit is something I learnt to engage more in SOT, and I need to remember to communicate with it more (considering how slack I was in the past and it has yet become a habit). I am a reflection of my own routine.

7.       To not find ways to see how close I can go without stepping over the line. Instead, think how far I can be from that line. This was mentioned during one of Pastor Ed’s session, struck a chord in me since then. People like me, free-spirited, come-what-may kind of personality, running away from things I deem as fun (but not exactly morally upright) is hard. I crave excitement and adventure. I need to learn, not everything that makes me happy is beneficial for me. I am responsible for my own freedom. Deliberate habitual sinning makes us okay to cross this line and it’s scary. I forget that it is actually not pleasing to God, I forget that it will hurt me, because I’ve gotten used to it, I’ve gotten immune to it. I do not feel bad anymore. And that itself, is toxic.

8.       Repentance, I need to repent from things in my life. Inward change + outward action = repentance. I feel constantly that I’m doing both half-heartedly. It’s hard to truly 100% repent if I continue this way. Deal with the heart problem.

9.       Life is worth living for the Lord. Quit thinking that life without acknowledging is my Saviour is better. I used to have thoughts that life would be better without being a Christian – I don’t have to feel shitty about having done something bad, I can sleep till super late on a Sunday, look my friends who are unchurched are living alright too… I envy them sometimes. Then I realised I need to be secured in my identity in Christ. I am a child of God, and knowing Jesus should be one of the best decisions of my life. Yes, people who do not know God can lead a good life too. But I should not think that knowing God has compromised my happiness and freedom in life. God gave us free-will and there is freedom in Him. Quitting Jesus will likely mean I am not returning.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love. (Galatians 5:13)

10.   If we think closely about most of the things in our lives, there must be an exchange. I gave the auntie my 3 dollars in exchange for a plate of chicken rice this afternoon. The handicapped uncle busked in the streets in hope that someone could give him some money in exchange for his time. Jesus died in exchange for the forgiveness of our sins. I cannot keep taking for granted that I will go to heaven if I keep doing things not according to the will of God; I need to exchange something. Is it my lack of discipline, is it a person, is it a hobby? Surrender.

11.   My life should not be a paradox. Make my words precious. From my heart, motives and mind, I need to understand why things cannot be done. Does my verbal profession translate to moral obedience?  My life is the most powerful message for people. No one has seen Jesus but they have seen me. Live my life for Christ. Be mindful of what I speak about, don’t say or do things I don’t mean. Treat people genuinely. I should learn to not just receive God’s love, learn to give God some love too by loving His people. He deserves it. When people say my name, what do they say about?

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action. (James 1:22-25)

12.   I can live at my own level of faith. I always categorise my friends as upz and never felt equivalent to them. You see, I don’t speak or edify people so much, I don’t lead people, I speak whatever comes my mind (#uncensored) and I am not a standard example of a holy person. Then I talked to some people I deemed as upz and I realised we are all human beings with real temptations and fears; whatever I face they face too, just differently but we have inadequencies. Maybe I’m just more vocal about these things, but everyone’s fighting their own battles even if they looked perfect on the exterior. I learnt that God did not create robots, but created us in His image… and we can be comfortable with who we are. I do not need to be whoever for God to love me more, God is happy with who I am, as long as I live my life with integrity, offline and online, real life or secret life. I can just stay rooted in Him based on my own pace. God isn’t impressed by human strength. If I want real and divine strength and power, first I have to be weak by the standards of this world. When I’m weak by the standards by the world, then I can get the grace to become strong in God. I need God.

For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of  himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. (Romans 12:3)

13.   Leadership is not about title, leadership is about influence. Note to self about my life as a teacher or colleague or friend. I want to influence positively, I want to be someone who honours my word, that what I believe in is in sync with how I act out and live out.

14.   God does not waste every experience I face in my life. No one knows the full shit I’ve experienced, the real training that I’ve been through but when the situation calls for it, I can be useful to people around me. Don’t come out of experiences empty-handed, instead bring treasures of darkness.

15.   Read the Bible more, spend time with the Holy Spirit more, pray more. I was forced (ok, at the last feel moments of SOT I was truly forced due to time constraints) to complete the Bible and I realised how much wisdom the Bible has and how little I’ve read it through my years. Contradicting isn’t it? I fail to read the sole thing that was given to me to know God better. As I said earlier, my relationship with God is based on experience – experiencing His love. What if one day I stopped experiencing God’s love during sessions, will I still follow Jesus? The word is indeed important, in times of need I can become a blessing. I beat myself up for the fact that I lost time in my years as a Christian not reading the Bible as much as I should have, but may 2019 be a year where I find time on my own to look deeper into His word and know His word.

Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. (II Timothy 4:2 NKJV)

Pray until inadequacy leaves me. Pray until my prayer is answered. Pray until my burden is lifted. Be close to the Holy Spirit and ensure that when God knocks at my door, I am available and present to answer it. My thought pattern is developed through years and I need to undo this thought pattern by the Holy Spirit, prayers and word of God.

But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. (Matthew 6:6)

16.   Make decisions when you are not emotionally unstable. Decisions is rooted in your character. Learn to stop acting on impulse. Learn to say no at times. Align my decisions with the will of God.

17.    Whatever I focus on grows. Become wiser this year about the people, the finances, the health, the things i spend my time on...

Get wisdom—it’s worth more than money; choose insight over income every time. (Proverbs 16:16)

18.   God loves me so much… through SOT, I am certain of the love of God. Now remember this and know that nothing I do or not do can make God love me lesser or more.

19.   I can decide what comes into my heart. Let what is worth it come into your heart.

Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts. (Proverbs 4:23 – 27)

20.   Be secure in myself, no need to strive to prove myself. If I’m good people can see.

21.   If God speaks, will I be willing to listen?

Sooooo, is SOT necessary? To be honest, no. I was so tired at that time, thankful that my dad was able to send me to work straight after SOT at 1 PM. I had no time for myself at all, there was something to do that I cannot cancel everyday. SOT was more of a routine that I learnt to follow, a controlled environment for me to know God more. I had to praise and worship every morning, pray with my peers, read the Bible, complete assignments to graduate. It gave my life some sort of order because everyday I am put in an atmosphere that allows me to meet God. However life after SOT is what really mattered the most. Certainly I got distracted and travelling a lot during my holiday did not help. However, the experiences and revelations in SOT, those are things that cannot be taken away from me... that I just need to regularly be reinforced in my head and heart. My biggest takeaway for me is that nothing will make me leave God and nothing will make God leave me. 

May life after this see me becoming more matured, where I have self-realisation as to what is good and bad for me, having a mature love for God that knows no fear because I’m fully convinced that God loves me sooooo super much. Live life with integrity!

This is by no means a 2019 New Year Resolution post because I don’t want that shit anymore (typing this on 31 Dec simply ‘cuz yo girl kept forgetting to do it since 30 Sep after graduation). I’m sure I am bound to make mistakes and bound to screw up and get lost again in my life time but I just want to live my life to my best. Life never really turn out the way it is planned  – some parts better than you planned, some parts worse than you planned. A general word for 2019 though, Gr. Apokaradokia: To wait with expectation with head raised and eyes fixed over the horizon  –

+ Apo: Means to turn away with concentration. Ignoring other interests.

+ Kara: Means head.

+ Dokia: Means to stretch forward.

Two of my favourite verses throughout my SOT times and have a blessed year ahead.

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don’t take yourself too seriously— take God seriously. (Micah 6:8 MSG)

God , your God, has blessed you in everything you have done. He has guarded you in your travels through this immense wilderness. For forty years now, God , your God, has been right here with you. You haven’t lacked one thing. (Deuteronomy 2:7 MSG)

[plumbobpost]

Pleasantly Unpleasant: The Women of the Pleasant Family

Sul sul!

Plumbob Post is back yet again, and today’s topic of choice is the Pleasant family. More specifically, this article will give a brief overview of the Pleasant women as well as the often controversial Kaylynn Langerak. Despite being part of one of the most popular families in the series, the female Pleasants are often considered divisive within the fandom. Starting from the very beginning, here’s a look at the notable female members of the Pleasant-Oldie-Burb clan:

1. Diane Pleasant

Despite being the OG matriarch of the Pleasant Family, there’s unfortunately little to say about Diane. She appears in The Sims and its console spinoff of the same name, living with her husband Jeff and their two children, Daniel and Jennifer. She is unemployed in both, and it can be assumed that she is a homemaker. Her bio suggests that her family is new to Neighborhood 1 and that could be the one to “set her family on its way up the social ladder.” Diane does not make an appearance in The Sims 2, but she can be seen in the family trees of her children and grandchildren in Pleasantview. Interestingly, while her hair was brown in The Sims, she has genetics for red hair in The Sims 2. Her son, Daniel, shares this distinction. Both of her children appear in The Sims 3, but neither Diane or her husband are referenced.

2. Jennifer Pleasant (Burb)

In The Sims, Jennifer Pleasant is an average child with dreams of soccer stardom. She and her brother have the same personality points, and Jennifer returns alongside her family in the console version of the game. At the start of The Sims 2, Jennifer can be found in the family bin as part of the Burb family. In the twenty-five year gap between The Sims and The Sims 2, Jennifer has married John Burb, another returning character, had a young daughter, Lucy, and given up her dreams of being a sports star; her brother fulfills that role instead. She does, however, start off with four body skill points as well as two creativity points. Her aspiration is fortune, though she starts off unemployed, and the Burbs are stated to have made their return to Pleasantview fairly recently, having lived in the city prior to that.

Jennifer does not return in The Sims 3 base game; however, she and John are reintroduced in Dragon Valley as engaged young adults. According to the storyline of the world, they were travelling before their wedding and got lost. This iteration of Jennifer is surprisingly consistent with previous versions of the character. She has the Vegetarian, Artistic, Athletic, Ambitious, and Friendly traits, and her lifetime wish is to, surprise surprise, become a superstar athlete. The athletic and artistic traits refer back to her skills in The Sims 2, while the ambitious trait matches her fortune aspiration. As of right now, neither Jennifer or any of her relatives have appeared in The Sims 4.

3. Tiffany Burb

Tiffany Burb is related to the Pleasant family through her son John’s marriage to Jennifer, as mentioned above. She was introduced in The Sims: Unleashed alongside husband Jeff, son Johnny, and dog Tucker as new residents of Old Town. Interestingly, she is employed as a store clerk in the fashion career track, making her one of the only mothers in the original game to not be a housewife. Additionally, her biography states that she does not share her husband’s love of nature, which could indicate that she did not wish to leave the city. Her fashion-centric character and new-in-town status somewhat mirror Jennifer’s storyline in The Sims 2. Like Diane Pleasant, Tiffany is not playable in The Sims 2, but she appears in John and her granddaughter Lucy’s family trees.

4. Mary-Sue Pleasant

Introduced in The Sims 2, Mary-Sue Pleasant is the wife of Daniel Pleasant, making her the daughter-in-law and sister-in-law of Diane and Jennifer, respectively, and the mother of teenage twins, Angela and Lilith. Her aspiration is fortune, and she starts off at level 2 of the politics career. Her biography states that she finds people “inherently good” and implies that she is kept quite busy by her job, which prevents her from pursuing her hobbies such as pottery. Her husband is involved in an extramarital affair with their maid, Kaylynn Langerak, though she is unaware of this at the start of the game. On the first day the Pleasant household is played, Daniel will have the day off of work, and Mary-Sue will receive a chance card. Unless the chance card is ignored, Mary-Sue will either be demoted or fired from her job, causing her to return home early and potentially catch her cheating husband.

Mary-Sue, as depicted in The Sims 2, is a divisive character. Many players pit her and Kaylynn against each other or try to justify Daniel’s actions by stating that she was ignoring him in favor of her work. Alternate takes on the character, such as Skell’s, suggest that since Mary-Sue is low on the career ladder and Daniel is higher up, it is likely that she was a homemaker in the early years of her marriage, putting Daniel’s career ahead of her own. When she returned from work, she had to focus on herself more, and Daniel could not cope with the change. This more positive interpretation of the Mary-Sue is supported by her characterization as friendly, provided by her bio. Either way, Mary-Sue is most definitely not a Mary Sue, cue the eyeroll.

Mary-Sue and Daniel return in The Sims 3 as a young married couple in Sunlit Tides. Her lifetime wish is to be a chess legend, while her traits are Perfectionist, Workaholic, Hopeless Romantic, Over-Emotional, and Charismatic. The Workaholic and Perfectionist traits complement her fortune aspiration in The Sims 2, and the Hopeless Romantic trait seems to provide an explanation for how she and Daniel fell for each other in the first place. She is unemployed with handiness and cooking skills; this is odd considering that she only has creativity, logic, cleaning, and cleaning skills in The Sims 2, which takes place later in time. Mary-Sue does not appear nor is she referenced in The Sims 4, despite her best friend Cassandra Goth returning.

5. Lilith Pleasant

Appearing only in The Sims 2, Lilith Pleasant is the younger of Mary-Sue and Daniel Pleasant’s twins, as indicated by her parents’ memories. Her aspiration is popularity, and if FreeTime is installed, her one true hobby will be sports. Lilith is depicted as a stereotypical gothic teenager, and she is dating another Pleasantview teen, Dirk Dreamer. She has low relationships with every member of her family, and it is not uncommon for her to run away from home. The cause for her low relationships with her parents and sister are stated in her bio to stem from Lilith having it harder than her sister. This assertion is supported by Lilith’s memories; she does not remember learning her toddler skills, her personality has been altered, and both of her grow up memories are negative. Her grade will start out as a D, further characterizing her as troubled.

It is common for players to take sides in the Pleasant family. Some players see Lilith as a victim of neglect as a result of her memories as well as an image from the Pleasant family album which shows her isolated from Angela’s birthday party. These players on occasion vilify Angela as being part of the problem, citing the fact that she has a computer in her room as some form of favoritism. Others claim that Angela is also an innocent victim of her parents’ mistreatment of her sister. Alternatively, some simmers characterize Lilith as a moody and rebellious teen who was never mistreated; she is simply experiencing growing pains. Each of these interpretations are valid.

6. Angela Pleasant

Angela Pleasant is the older of Mary-Sue and Daniel Pleasant’s twins, as indicated by her parents’ memories. Her aspiration is popularity, and if FreeTime is installed, her one true hobby will be nature. Angela is dating Dustin Broke, a teen employed in the criminal career who her father is enemies with. She has a low relationships with her sister, Lilith, and the two often fight upon first loading the household. Her low relationship with her sister, as mentioned above, stemming from Lilith’s belief that Angela had it easier. While Lilith does not have positive memories of growing up or any memories of learning toddler skills, Angela does. Her starting grade is a B.

Angela is perhaps as divisive as her mother. Most players sympathized with Lilith, at least when the game was originally released, and as a result, Angela was vilified. Her critics often considered her spoiled, despite there being no evidence to support that. Others have stated that dating Dustin is an act of rebellion, though the two recall being friends since childhood and share the nature hobby. Angela is stated to be “patient and dutiful,” both of which are positive qualities and in an endearing twist, she “dreams of being a fishing boat captain.” Given the details provided by Maxis about Angela, there are no strong hints that she is anything other than a kind, respectful teenager, but as are all characters, she is open to interpretation.

7. Coral Oldie

Coral Oldie is the mother of Mary-Sue Pleasant. She only appears in The Sims 2, alongside her husband Herb. Interestingly, Mary-Sue is adopted, making her one of few base game sims with that distinction. Coral is a family sim, the “picture of maternal perfection.” She is unemployed and according to her memories, has never had a job, instead being a stay at home mother and wife. Despite her and her husband having a reasonably positive relationship, her biography ominously questions the price she paid for raising a successful daughter; the meaning of this statement is unclear. It could be in reference to Mary-Sue’s marital troubles or to marital troubles between Herb and Coral. The meaning is left open to the player, though Herb’s bio further clouds the intention of the game’s creators by referring to him as a “reasonably reliable husband.”

8. Lucy Burb

Lucy Burb is the child daughter of Jennifer and John Burb. She has a “knack for getting into trouble,” hinting that she will take after her teenage cousins. As she is a child, there is very little information on her, and she is not directly involved in the storyline of the neighborhood. Lucy is, however, a fan favorite character, and she is often paired romantically with Alexander Goth, another Pleasantview child, by players.

9. Last but certainly not least, Kaylynn Langerak

Kaylynn Langerak is not a Pleasant by relation or by marriage, but she is forever tied to the family as a result of her involvement with Daniel Pleasant. Interestingly, despite being involved with a married man, Daniel, and an engaged man, Don, Kaylynn is a family sim. Furthermore, she is a shy sim, with only one outgoing point. These qualities create an interesting mismatch between Kaylynn and the stereotypical other woman. It is possible that she was created to be a joke around the common soap opera trope of male characters carrying on extramarital affairs with their maids. As mentioned above, it is possible for her and Daniel to be caught by Mary-Sue depending on their choice about her chance card.

Kaylynn is yet another character who is a common source of debate amongst The Sims community. Though her personality is not consistent with a home wrecker, many were quick to assign her that title in the early days of the game. More recently, it has become common for players to sympathize with Kaylynn and make her a playable character, often having her dump both Don and Daniel. Sometimes, players even marry her and Mary-Sue in an interesting twist. Either way, Kaylynn is a complex character, with room for players to interpret her in a variety of ways.

While she does not appear in The Sims 4, Kaylynn is a playable character in The Sims 3. She is depicted as a child, residing with her father Dustin, her mother Iliana, her aunt Zelda Mae, and her teen brother Parker. She has two traits: neat and perfectionist, both of which align with her future as a maid. She is also said to enjoy painting in her free time. Kaylynn is at the center of the largest inconsistency between The Sims 2 and The Sims 3. In the former, she is at the start of her adult life stage, while she is an older child in The Sims 3, which takes place fifty years before. This inconsistency is made more apparent by the fact that Mortimer Goth, an elder in The Sims 2, is younger than Kaylynn in The Sims 3. This timeline discrepancy has led to many fan theories involving the elixir of life or in Skell’s case, two Kaylynns.

   The Pleasant family is an interesting and diverse group with a variety of personalities within it. As a result, they remain popular amongst fans of The Sims and its sequels.

Do you want to hear more about the Pleasants? Or perhaps about the Langeraks?  If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, feel free to visit my ask box. If you are interested, give Plumbob Post a follow, and reblog for anyone else who you think would enjoy this blog. Stay tuned for upcoming posts.

Dag dag!

*Disclaimer: These are not my images.*