#often almost no knowledge of the topic in general

[isfjmel-phleg]

🎙

[astrologyvas]

1st house overlays/synastry

18+

please do not copy or repeat my work anywhere sun in the 1st house overlay: as we know, the sun illuminates anything it touches. naturally, in synastry, the sun will light up & shine onto the house's personality, appearance, and approach to life. this is a great placement to have for both romantic and platonic endeavors because you feel a mutual understanding; like you're on the same page in the book of life. the house will feel an abundance of validation and recognition from the sun. something about the sun just makes the house feel good, like the world still has something to offer. the sun is very fond of the way the house deals with situations thrown at them. "i love the way you handled that". there's a natural sense of comfort found in one other, it feels like you just get each other. the house may find a lot of peace and serenity within themselves when they find their way back to the sun. gives me the energy of the house thinking "i wish they were here" when they're at a shitty party. the house's general character and disposition is highly aligned with how the sun sees themselves, giving a sense of familiarity and closeness. complimenting each other back to back energy. this person would be a great partner to go out with, because they will always give you the acknowledgement and confidence you're seeking. "should i get this tattoo?" "you would look amazing with that tattoo".

moon in the 1st house overlay: there is no room for concealing emotions in this connection. both parties intuitively sense how the other is feeling, and can see their true motivations with ease. the house may feel almost unveiled by the moon, surprised by how quickly they are able to keep up with their emotions. this is the type of person you miss having as a friend when breaking it off with them, even if you were romantically involved. similar to the sun, the moon overlay shares a natural compatibility with one another. this synastry provokes emotional harmony and deep understanding. the feeling of telling them something you wouldn't ever open up about with anyone else. in this connection, the moon can serve as a tender reflection to show the house how to heal and nurture themselves. this overlay will make both not only physically attracted to each other, but also intensely emotionally. the moon finds the house's mind, body and soul irresistible, while the house desires the moon physically as a means of emotionally connecting. you are able to read each other exceptionally well, the energy of knowing how they feel just by the look on their face. the house will be openly receptive to the moon's way of reassurance. the house saying "i never thought about it that way" when the moon offers them consolation. both parties feel immense relief and comfort within each other. the person you look for in a crowd, to find they were looking for you too.

mercury in the 1st house overlay: this overlay is a like-minded and stimulating bond. having this synastry makes connecting on basic levels practically intrinsic. it feels like you get along right away, and often share similar outlooks on topics and values. the way mercury speaks and allocates knowledge is admirable to the house, like mercury is able to lay out information in a way that resonates with them. the house feels listened to by mercury, like they don't understate the house's intelligence. mercury can easily enthrall the house person. it's like mercury has an innate ability to make any conversation exciting and intriguing for the house. both may steal slang and phrases from each other, because they like the way they sound coming from the other person. initially, the house may struggle to keep up with mercury's fast-paced nature, or find them hard to fully grasp. mercury may feel like they're much more charismatic and magnetic when they're in the presence of the house. it's like a switch flipping for mercury, being able to reel the house in with their words. both parties banter and make fun of each other all the time. the two of them may be very attracted to each other's hands and arms, like you can't stop staring at their fingers when they're doing random tasks. mercury will be inclined to mentally pursue the house, they want to win them over with the charm they exude. no matter what, mercury feels an unquenchable curiosity for how the house operates and perceives information.

venus in the 1st house overlay: this is a connection that will cause intense physical attraction no matter what. in my personal experience, this has been an infatuation placement. the intangible pull these two feel for one another is powerful and consuming. venus finds the house very physically appealing, and the house basks in the planet's admiration. everything about the house, how they move, walk, and talk, venus can't get enough of. on a less superficial level, both parties will find the other very gratifying and enjoyable to be around. this connection will be fun under any circumstances, they can have a good time together even if they're on a sinking boat. venus will feel proud and confident in public with the house. "can you believe i pulled them?" energy. however, this placement can be bittersweet, in the sense of the house feeling like venus doesn't see their personality, only their looks. this can be difficult to overcome if there aren't substantial placements or aspects to show genuine admiration rather than shallow attraction. at its worst, this synastry can have the energy of shane & rachel from the white lotus. in this bond, both venus and the house share a similar taste for clothing, art and culture. the type of relationship where they like to dress each other up and pick out their clothes. the house will feel increasingly attractive and charming when in the vicinity of venus, and venus easily finds inspiration through the house. this is the person you have a hallway crush on at school.

mars in the 1st house overlay: mars falling in the 1st house is an enticing, aggressively playful, and physically erotic linkage. this synastry gives me the energy of not being able to contain your smile, even though you're arguing. these two grind each other's gears, in a way that you want to strangle them, then make out. mars is instantly on a pursuit for the house, like they see them as something to conquer. the house thrives on the ego boost from mars' chase, and may deprive mars of their presence to maintain control. initially, the mars is definitely somewhat at a whim of the house. however, the house is physically captivated by mars. mars appears as a rugged, lustful meal of sex appeal for the house. "i could eat that girl for lunch". it's like mars gives the house a taste for life and adrenaline. eye-fucking each other across the room vibes. this overlay may feel like a game at times, like a nonchalant war to see who breaks the tension first. the house's behavior riles mars up, intentionally or not. the energy of mars making fun of the house constantly, while the house is telling them to shut up. the first impressions of this person are very strong and memorable, you definitely won't forget them after originally meeting. this connection is inspiring for the house, as if mars pulls motivation out of them. very lively and dynamic relationship. laughing, tickle torture, and angry sex.

jupiter in the 1st house overlay: both the house and jupiter light up when they're around each other. jupiter, the planet of "so much abundance it's spilling off the plate," entering the 1st house is a great placement for self-esteem and confidence. both parties exhilarate and inspire each other plenty. jupiter is able to expand the worldview of the house, encouraging them to take risks and learn about life simply by having fun. jupiter's praise massively inflates the houses ego and self-worth. the house feels emotionally enriched by jupiter, like they can't help but feel fulfilled by them. the house may find that being around jupiter brings luck & opportunities for them, like things just fall into place. it makes me think of jupiter as a celebrity, and the house as their friend who gains recognition through jupiter's influence. jupiter feels very admired by the house in this connection. the house can learn a lot from this bond; it feels like jupiter is an infinite well of knowledge for the house to dive into. this synastry can almost be pedestal-like for jupiter, as if the house thinks they can do no wrong. be wary of rose-colored glasses and too much glorification. if the house is younger or less mature, jupiter can find their timidity annoying at times; offended that the house doesn't always trust jupiter's wisdom and direction. however, the mutual respect this connection brings is healing for the soul of both jupiter and the house. this synastry is groupie love, painting portraits of each other, and endless flattery.

saturn in the 1st house overlay: this synastry will force you to grow outside of yourself. if saturn does one thing in this connection, its holding the house accountable for their bullshit. both party's insecurities and weaknesses are obvious to each other, like they're sprawled out on the table. saturn often tries to clean out the house's faults to help them grow. this can be suffocating for the house at times, especially if they aren't looking for or open to change. the house can subconsciously try to look good and doll up if they know saturn is going to be there. the house craves saturn's validation, and can succumb to imbalanced power dynamics if not careful. if saturn is afflicted or unevolved, this connection can be critical and envious in nature. the house easily expresses themselves, which can inspire jealousy in saturn for something that doesn't come as instinctually to them. saturn can really pick at the house's insecurities if they want to, and vice versa. these two need to be mindful of their jabs, and careful of being too mean and berating. if this connection is stabilized and healthy, these two can be the ultimate power couple that comes off as sultry and mature to others. saturn builds the house's confidence from the ground up, like they're a project for saturn to work on and improve. saturn returns are a great time for these connections, because of the structure and discipline the saturn person offers in the chaos.

uranus in the 1st house overlay: in this connection, uranus loves to stir things up within the house and help them break free from the mundane comforts of life. initially, the house can find uranus to be totally weird, "out there," and sporadic. it's like the house is puzzled by how uranus acts. "i've never met anyone in my life like you before". uranus grows on the house very fast, and inevitably, they start thinking uranus is unique and ahead of their time. the house needs to be cautious of being too stubborn and apprehensive in order to keep uranus' flighty nature from kicking in. this connection can feel like you grow into the best and most authentic version of yourself through each other. uranus helps catapult the house into being who they truly are, leaving no room for self-doubt and embarrassment. the house may be fascinated with how uranus conducts and presents themselves. it gives me the energy of the house pulling a lot of fashion inspiration from uranus, because of how innovative and original the planet comes off to the house. the type of people you save to your pinterest board. this bond is electric and unpredictable, they love to keep each other on their toes. however, both may be resistant in relation to commitment because of the intense need for freedom uranian energy activates. these people provoke rebellion in yourself you've never felt before, like you want to see how far you can go before getting caught. uranus sees a plethora of untapped energy in the house, and thrives off inspiring them.

neptune in the 1st house overlay: the converging of this overlay is dreamy and illusive. the energy lingering around this connection is an intoxicating, love-at-first-sight experience. neptune is bewitched by the house's beauty. this synastry is rose-colored glasses on steroids. underneath the blissful admiration and mesmerized gazes, neptune's blurry nature makes what you think you know about your partner and what is actually real an uncomfortable awakening. the house can feel a frustrating pressure to live up to neptune's unrealistic fantasy that they have projected onto them. on one hand, the house wants to indulge and relish in neptune's perception in order to maintain a beautiful and magnetic aura. on the other hand, the house wants to be loved for their true, genuine self. both need to tread carefully in this connection, as the neptunian influence can replace typical bonding and becoming acquainted with predetermined conjectures and assumptions. the feeling of cutting them off, then realizing you didn't know anything about them. however, this synastry is a great opportunity for combined spiritual expansion and growth. sex is an unearthly union between them. deep understanding is mutual and almost psychic. "you make me feel like a person". they slip into your dreams, and know what you are going to say before you speak.

pluto in the 1st house overlay: pluto's presence in the 1st house can be an intensely metamorphic bond. this relationship goes beyond physical, into the deep intertwining of each other. the house portrays a fascinating allure towards pluto. pluto feels very tempted and inexplicably drawn towards the house, almost like the house is testing to see when pluto gives in. the house feels like pluto dominates their mind, which can quickly lead to them becoming smitten. pluto's persona intimidates and simultaneously attracts the house. in this connection, pluto will inevitably hold a lot of power, and can become jealous and overbearing regarding the house. this bond requires pluto to be mindful of arising insecurities revolving the house's outward charm to others. the house feels like pluto peers into their soul, seeing their vulnerabilities and weak spots. the house almost can't turn away, because of the intimacy they discover through this connection. this is the type of couple that turns heads when they walk in. if pluto is afflicted, this synastry is susceptible for forced change and control. pluto needs to be cautious of trying to mold the house into what they want, rather than what the house wants. by supporting the house, pluto can propel the house's spiritual and psychological broadening, and act as an important guide for the house to fulfill the immense potential that pluto sees in them.

lilith in the 1st house overlay: in this overlay, lilith finds the house to be the living embodiment of their raw and primal "dark" side. everything lilith hides away and rejects in themselves, they see in the house- physically and internally. in this relationship, identity is extremely affected on both sides. the house's friends & family may find them unrecognizable in the presence of lilith, because of the shadow they naturally evoke in the house. these two mirror each other's most repressed desires & taboos, easily exhilarating each other in the process. your heartbeat increasing uncontrollably when in their presence vibes. upon meeting, both parties feel irrevocably lustful and attracted to each other. there is a very intense bodily chemistry between the two, the type of energy that other's can feel because of the potency. in this connection, there is innate mutual respect, but heavily lilith for the house. lilith honors and admires the house's unapologetic nature regarding themselves; and the house thrives on lilith's passion and sexuality. in public, the house may feel like their impulses are drawn out- simply by lilith's company. although, however transforming this experience may be for both parties, this overlay can cause lilith to be obsessed with the house superficially- if the powerful lilith energy is not handled correctly. something about this couple could be scandalous or "unacceptable" to normal society, like age gaps, background differences, or social statuses. however, they are not concerned with backlash from others, and love uplifting each other to their deeper emotions and true colors.

[neptuneschldd]

Energetically Attractive Placements in Astrology P.1🌒

☽ ASC-/Sun/Pluto/Jupiter. Something these all have in common is this “untouchable energy” to them that just simply makes people interested in them. For ASC-/Sun/Jupiter they SHINE in a crowd, they have a bright, unique and creative aura to them that makes them stand out and naturally likable. While Asc-Pluto individuals have a more mysterious and intriguing aura to them, they have this touch of power to them and many people respect them.

☽ Jupiter in Pisces/Cancer/Libra. All three of these placements have a generous and lovable energy to them, people can be attracted to how giving they can be and how pure their souls truly are.

☽ Pluto/Mars 11H, is a common placement I see with people who easily attract attention. Many people are simply just interested in who they are, they have a strong and assertive energy to them, very respectable individuals.

☽ Jupiter 9H, naturally lucky individuals, there’s not shocked that they can attract attention easily, these individuals are smart also, people may be attracted to their wit and knowledge on several topics.

☽ Sun-Moon/Mercury positive aspects. Unless afflicted, these individuals have a very tranquil impression on others, so much so that these people can seem like a breath of fresh air, their souls and intentions are pure.

☽ In addition to the previous note, especially Sun Conjunct Mercury; these individuals are interesting to be around, they communicate pretty well and tend to be naturally likable people with their honesty and humor.

☽ Sagittarius Moons. While these people while have a reputation of being hot headed, on the other hand, people are often attracted to these individuals by their blunt and humorous nature. Sag moons are purely authentic, whatever you see is simply how they are, they are honest and they know how to make people laugh, they have an energetic energy that is almost IMPOSSIBLE to forget about.

☽ Sun/Neptune/Jupiter/Uranus Dominant. What these have in common is their unique energy, they are creative and innovative, similar to sag moons they’re hard to forget about, there’s often one trait or physical feature they have that people can remember them by. This is also relevant for people with these plants in the 1H/5H.

☽ Mercury/Moon in 11H. These individuals are just fun to be around, for Mercury 11H individuals they just know what to say, they’re great in conversation and people are attracted by that, for Moon 11H, they are just fun to be around, they just seem to have connections with almost everyone and anyone.

☽ Cancer Degrees (4°, 16°, 28°) on Personal Placements + Asc/MC. People can be attracted to the pureness that lies deep within their hearts and intentions, people feel comfortable getting along with them, some even feel the need to defend/“protect” them.

☽ And Last but certainly not least, I commonly see Leo/Venusian(Taurus and Libra)/Aquarius/Sagittarius ASC that have a lot of attention to them, these people have a natural ability to just attract people to them. Libra and Taurus have a calm and genuine energy to them, while Leo/Sag/Aquarius ASCs have a very unique way of expressing themselves, they stand out and its surely not impossible to not notice.

HM:

☽ Placements in Aquarius and Leo Degrees (11°, 23°, 5°, 17°, 29°)

☽ Pisces ASC

☽ Asc Trine Moon

☽ Sun-Venus Asp.

- Neptune. ☽

[the-lambda-archives-ai]

Statement of : Gordon Martinez Freeman, 30 year old MIT graduate,Regarding a peculiar video game he’d found.

Recorded direct from subject, May 16, 200-

Statement begins.

Pt 1 > here

ABOUT 👇

Hello! I am the author of this AU, you can find my main at @inkzectz , for more meta questions about this AU, or for general comments about it, please go there.

What is the AU about?

LA : AI is a crossover AU of sorts, in the simplest way put, it’s TMA but with HLVRAI characters, TMA stuff happens but altered to fit the general HLVRAI narrative, and with my own changes, headcanons, etc. added

I will be updating/editing this post as I progress.

Will it have spoilers?

Yes, not a lot, but vague/mild spoilers about how the world works, plot points, and character.

It is best if you’ve seen it but as of writing it right now (early ep 4) there aren’t any spoilers. Once I am a little further ahead then you may want to listen to it.

Again the spoilers will be vague and mild at worst, as it progresses I would recommend listening to tma, but it’s sort of like how while half life knowledge is helpful in hlvrai it isn’t exactly necessary to enjoy hlvrai bc it’s different enough from it to not really matter (?) I hope that makes sense.

Asks rules

- No telling [ player ] exactly what happens ex : “omg [ player ] when you weren’t looking [ npc ] said this very important thing that is supposed to be kept secret for lore reasons”

- Please avoid asks like “tell this character they’re pretty” while I appreciate the compliment, I am trying to write a story and want to keep things as on topic as possible. Instead tell me on my main if you like the art, I’ll probably reply with a doodle or something, just not on here.

- Less so of a rule but more so of a general statement, I will be avoiding asks that either are too close to what happens or if answering would mean progressing the story too quickly, there’s a lot I want to happen and I want time to do it all.

- Another one that’s less of a rule and more of a general thing, if I don’t like what you said I won’t be answering.

- I also sometimes just don’t know how to answer some things.

- Please be respectful of the ships I choose to include and don't force your own, ship wars and such will not be tolerated.

- Please be respectful of others and do not spoil anything, not everyone has listened to TMA and knows it's themes.

I will not be answering everything, I cannot always get to every message so please be respectful of that.

Select character

Character abouts! [ Will be updating as I continue to work on the story ]

[ select ] > Mr. Freeman

> Gordon Martinez ‘Martini’ Freeman

30 y.o . 6’0 . 230lb . Romani / Puertorican . male [ he/him ] . bisexual

> Lives in Seattle, MIT graduate, left Black Mesa, works as a librarian IRL but also makes money via streaming video games occasionally, in real time it is 2018.

[ PLAYER ]

> Believes in the paranormal out of fear but tries to rationalize out of denial, he will never admit something is supernatural and will jump through hoops to rationalize even if deep down he does believe.

> Has a son named Joshua Medrano Freeman, who is 6 years old, Gordon and his old partner met in college but split up before Joshua was born, they remain civil but are nothing more to each other than Joshua’s other parent.

> Gordon rents an apartment with 3 rooms, his own room, Joshua’s room, and a third that used to be a guest room but he has so little visitors he’s just chosen to revamp it into a gaming room.

> Gordon works primarily in a library for now as he’s looking for a better job.

> Gordon often wears hoodies, sweaters, t-shirts, crew necks, and any general outfit one would wear at home, long curly hair that is beginning to grey due to stress, unkempt goatee, and almost always wears green tinted glasses [ he doesn’t need glasses he just thinks they’re cool ]

> His hair is usually pulled back in a ponytail but can also be found in a bun or just down.

< [ select ] > Mr. Coolatta

> Thomas ‘Tommy’ Coolatta, primary researcher, and technical head of the institute.

39 y.o . 6’7 . 190lb . Chinese/filipino . Male [ he/him ] . ???

> His father owns the Lambda institute and he grew up in it, he officially started working in the archives when he was 24, and of all the employees in the entire institute he has worked there the longest.

[ NPC ]

> No one knows who his father really is, Tommy being the only one who’s ever actually seen / spoken to him, his father is the real head of the institute but gives most his orders through Tommy, so Tommy is also technically the head as well.

> Not much is actually known about him, besides his father he doesn’t appear to have any other family, nor does he ever speak of his personal life much.

> Tommy primarily works as an archival assistant, specifically in research, he is the one who will verify details regarding statements or do further investigations into aspects of the statements.

> Tommy is quite the colorful character, often wearing colorful clothing and accessories, he seems to think doing so brings some cheer into an otherwise boring environment, he often wears patterned polo shirts, cheap company bracelets, pins, lanyards, pant chains, but is never without his signature multicolor propeller hat.

[max1461]

Rationalists tend to self-conceptualize as nerds, but as far as I'm concerned they are in general not nerds and this bothers me.

As far as I'm concerned, a nerd is an otaku; that is to say, a nerd is someone who is unabashedly enthusiastic about the minutiae of some topic for its own sake. Someone who has a bottomless desire to learn about... trains, or bugs, or math, or whatever their thing is, relatively unconcerned with the degree to which this knowledge is useful to them or anybody else. Doing their nerd thing is its own reward.

Rationalists might be nerds in their off time, but they generally aren't nerds when they're participating in rationalist discourse. One of the things I've noticed since finding myself adjacent to rattumb is rationalist posting in general has a tendency to look for "take aways" in things. A rationalist will read some book or article, and then make a post summarizing what insights they think it contains and what they think these mean or imply for themselves or their audience. I guess this goes back to Scott's book reviews, or maybe some habit of Yudkowsky I don't know. One way or another I've observed this tendency to be extremely strong among rationalists, and it strikes me as almost a maximally un-nerdy thing to do. This is a behavior befitting of startup guys and self-help gurus; a nerd would be principally interested in gaining more knowledge about their chosen subject, rather than extracting some (usually sociological or political) "point" from it.

In general rationalists spend their time talking about The Fate Of The World, whether that be in the form of AI Doom or the advancement of their chosen politics or veganism or whatever. Never have I encountered a non-religious community more fervently interested in The Fate Of The World. So I propose that rationalists are (often; of course this whole post is generalizing) zealots cosplaying as nerds. Kind of ticked off that they're appropriating my culture tbh.

[council-of-beetroot]

As we see an increase in antisemitism I have reflected on my experiences how many years ago being the token Jew in my eighth grade English class and I have found some aspects about it which lead me to believe are the parts that Holocaust Education in the U.S. goes wrong

Being taught in English Classes

Often such as in my state, the Holocaust is taught as part of English curriculum. English teachers aren't history teachers and they may be lacking in the skills or knowledge required to teach in the necessary depth to discuss the Holocaust.

My mother used to teach English but she had a history degree as well. She would lecture in class about everything leading up to and during WWII. I remember reading handouts she had in her classroom while I was waiting after school about the history of antisemitism. I didn't have any of this in my English class unit, because to put it simply most English teachers aren't my mother who also has the prior knowledge of how to teach history.

Additionally, as it is part of English, there is often more focus on Holocaust literature rather than the topic itself

This is where I think it gets extremely flawed if a person's primary knowledge of a historical period is Anne Frank or the incredibly inaccurate boy in the striped pajamas. A single account or work of complete fiction shouldn't be your main lens to view any topic whether it's the Holocaust, Slavery, Civil Rights movement etc.

You're in short blurring fact and fiction when discussing these things in the context of literature.

Sense of Finality

I feel like in my classes at least there was this idea that was kind of implied that hatred of Jews began and ended with Hitler and the Holocaust. I think this leads to misconceptions about antisemitism.

I feel this is a problem as I remember mistakenly getting that takeaway in school regarding civil rights in America. It was taught that Slavery was a problem, emancipation proclamation, MLK said I have a dream, and the civil rights act was passed and bam no inequality or racism. Later on, I fortunately learned this was flawed for many reasons. But not everyone does.

Not teaching about how the Holocaust happened

If you aren't given the knowledge of how centuries of hatred lead up to the Holocaust, I feel the main takeaway becomes that it was almost a random occurrence.

Many learn the Holocaust is bad without learning the signs of thinking that can lead neighbors to kill neighbors.

So many people don't have the basic facts such as Hitler being elected rather than assuming power.

I think when you learn of an atrocity of such scale without learning the human beliefs that brought about it, you have learned nothing.

I had a girl in my college uni class who was shocked when I said that antisemitism didn't begin and end with Hitler. I can see where she would get this idea if I at ten figured that racism ended with MLK.

Using Simulation

Slavery and the Holocaust should probably not be taught using roleplay. It usually goes poorly and you can find dozens of examples of how this goes wrong.

Sanitizing History

Exactly what it sounds like. But it's a major problem in general with history education in the US. I think we downplay westward expansion, and slavery in the us. When we downplay those it's easy to see how some begin to downplay the Holocaust.

We had a kid faint on the trip to the Holocaust memorial at some of the images. I think it was because they were inadequately prepared to see the horrors in image, my teacher didn't show any pictures in class.

Final notes

I don't blame teachers. Teacher's jobs fucking suck from what I've seen and many don't have the skills or resources or experience. I guess for now I think it's good to recognize those holes in our education and fill them ourselves through self education and life long learning

With the current political atmosphere of education of the unpleasant or difficult to discuss parts of history, i can only see things getting worse if we don't change anything. But like I said in the absence of a solid education which discusses these topics, it's important to educate ourselves and confront our lack of knowledge.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I tried to covertly exclude one of my friends from game nights ? 🎮🎧📞

tw: disordered eating, self harm

I've got a discord friend group of about 15 people though only 10 or so are regularly active and game nights often are usually around 6 people but they rotate who participates often. We're all in the 20s and mostly nonbinary / genderqueer / trans one way or another. I'm 25 ftm personally (they them) and the friend this is about in particular is 22mtf (she/they).

Friend is really excited to hit the 1 year marker in her transition and loves sharing how excited she is about her progress - how strangers at her job are gendering her correctly more and more often, how her cup sizes are growing, how much weight she's lost, wardrobe updates, getting to learn girl things from their very supportive mom, etc etc etc. It's all very exciting, I remember hitting my 1 year marker and i'm genuinely really happy for her.

The thing is I struggled with disordered eating in the past. Several others in our friend group have as well and it's something we've talked about both in related and unrelated convos to this issue. Friend keeps an excel spreadsheet with her measurements from bust to hips to weight and will update us frequently whether we've expressed interest in hearing the exact numbers or not. Exact Numbers was one of the things I kept track of and hearing her tracking them (for very different reasons) will often set me off and i'll start taking more and more unhealthy actions, falling back into disordered habits.

Friend has adhd and very poor impulse control. She often joins conversations and talks over people, completely changes conversational topics on a dime, or forgets who is in a call at any moment and brings up someone's triggers. She'll almost always apologize if someone mentions a social mistake she's made, but because the weight/food intake/number watching is so important to them as a way to track their transition it's the one thing that keeps coming back and back and back. I and the others have tried talking in voice calls, mentioning in text chats in the group and even DMing her but because of the topic and this group being the friend group she feels safest in (we were all the first to know and hyped them up on the hrt journey) these are some convos she only gets to have here

and because of the topic, i feel rude or embarrassed when I have to say "hey can we not talk about this right now or i'm gonna have to leave". So on most nights if it comes up I'll just deafen / go afk / just zone out entirely until the conversation has passed. If it doesn't seem like it's going to or they are so in depth that it's genuinely triggering a self harm response i'll fully leave instead so she can keep having her fun and get excited

Game nights are different though

I'm usually the host of game night and so can pick when we play our silly little games. Obviously people can and do still hangout and do things together Not on specific game nights, and we all do, but game nights are my thing. We play party games over discord or multiplayer competition games or lately have been getting into games like content warning and lethal company when there's 4 or sometimes 5 of us (either someone wants to hang out but only watch or we rotate around who plays round by round)

Friend is often working in the evenings and so bc this is an online friend group they don't actually know my work schedule. We usually only have about half the total number of participants be around for game night anyways, so I've been thinking of occasionally lining up game nights for nights when she's mentioned being busy by saying i work the other nights - but only sometimes. I do really like friend. She can be so much fun to hang out with, excitingly competitive and with interesting knowledge to share and generally a good sport no matter the actual game we're playing. But sometimes the worry about the triggering and the trigginering itself are too much. sometimes i just can't handle when she does it and knowing i can't leave and asking her to stop expressing her joy makes me feel like an asshole anyways so i don't want to be around it.

To be clear. I do not think they are an asshole. Friend is genuinely one of my friends. I like her and hanging out with her. they do not trigger me (or any of the others w this same trigger) maliciously. this is solely would I be the asshole.

TLDR: My friends way of tracking her transition sometimes triggers my eating disorder. would I be the asshole for planning game nights that I host and cannot leave / tune out conversations during so that she cannot attend as often in hopes that I am not triggered as often?

[demonsinmywindows]

okay so we all know saiki is a genius. we all know this. I’d love to elaborate.

Saiki can pretty much passively absorb everything he learns, and it seems like he doesn’t really forget anything. Even when he has those ‘uh oh’ moments that we’ve seen, it’s always been because of a distraction and not because lack of knowledge. Bc he absorbs so much information from his direct surroundings, it takes almost nothing for him to learn what’s required of him. ie; how he’s expected to act, the best route to get somewhere, what he learns in school etc.

Consequently, it takes him very little effort to accomplish the ‘regular’ academic expectations for his age. We’ve seen him do a years worth of homework in the blink of an eye… (here comes my hc)

Thus he has a lot of time on his hands. And Saiki is innately curious. To bide his time, he likes to delve into obscure topics, to learn things that are completely unfamiliar to the average person. So Saiki knows a lot, and Saiki reads a lot. At the very ~least~ he knows all about advanced quantum physics, from Kusuke’s mind. Now this MAY be me projecting, but I like to think that Saiki loves to research all things history and philosophy (the average person is not often thinking about these things beyond the surface level).

As a result, his classmates often see him reading about some of the most random and specific subjects ever (after all, what exudes ‘don’t talk to me’ more than reading a dense book?). They come to know that Saiki is the one to go to if they have any questions about ANY general knowledge (see also: kaido asking saiki for homework help even though his own class rank is much higher)

And maybe some of them wonder: why? Why does Saiki perform averagely at school, when he seems so interested in learning? Maybe someone finally asks him about some miscellaneous inconsequential fact…. and the next thing they know Saiki is spouting facts at a mile a minute. Oh you’re asking about Alexander the Great? Did you know that he died so young because he became paralyzed from contaminated wine and then was buried alive? Did you know Alexander’s lineage supposedly traces back to Achilles himself, suggesting that the events of the Trojan War have basis in truth? And if that is the case, what could have caused the decade long Mediterranean sea journeys of Odysseus and Menelaus who were descendants of the Minoan sea experts?

Okay anyways. Moral of the story, Saiki is a secret NERD and you cannot take that away from me. I live by the fact that he is just a random scholar of all things.

Plz expand, I would love to know ur thoughts/reactions

[tarotwithavi]

How do men view you?

Masterlist ♡ paid services

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⚠ : these pictures do not belong to me. I have taken them Pinterest

This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest.

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PILE 1

Hey pile 1 ! Now I don't know about your personal life but men around you see you as someone who has been through a lot of things . You might always appear as sleepy or men get that you're always sleepy but somehow still cute. They see you as someone who's very observant and knows about everything. Almost as a smart ass. Someone who is always in their head. I'm also getting that men around you feel like a need to protect you or provide for you. It's just something about you that makes them treat you nicely but it mostly comes from pity. And I'm also getting that there's something about your eyes that attracts men. I feel like men view you as someone who tries very hard to do something. I'm not saying that they view you as a pushover but they feel like you try very hard to fit in. Men feel like someone has hurt you and they shouldn't mess with you. I am also getting that men feel like you are waiting for someone very special like a Soulmate to have a relationship with and you do not want just fun or like to mess around with someone. You want a real committed rerelationship and do not want to fuck around. You respect your time and you don't give it to others who don't deserve it. But when they get close to you, you treat them very nicely and are very caring. Almost like a mother. But still you won't let them be too close to you . It's like you always have a wall around you no matter how close they are to you. Men also see you as a wise person who has a lot of knowledge regarding different topics. And I'm also getting that you always have something to teach them. Men see you as a cold hearted person sometimes. They are somewhat scared to approach you because they feel like you'll reject them. If you have dark eyes they are like an ocean to men. Almost like a dark sea. There's also something about your gaze that's very attractive to them.

Random messages : peach, cherry, turkey, cold/winters, Neptune dominant, night time, black Swan, tear drops, Aries, Sagittarius, scorpio, Pisces , Capricorn , Pointy nose , brown hair.

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PILE 2

Hey pile 2 ! Okay let's get one thing straight, what I'm about to say is not good to be very good. So prepare yourself. Men around you almost romanticize you and sexualize you. They have fantasies about you. And I'm also getting that men around you get obsessed with you and may also stalk you. Men can't face rejection from you and when they get rejected they may act psychotic. You're the dream girl of many men. Because you come from a rich and abundant family. And this is not always good because men want to take advantage of you. Either your money or from your name . Some men see you as someone who is family oriented and has a lot of expectations . Men see you as someone who's secretive and mysterious. There's somehow about you that makes men desire you but you don't give them any of your attention. You know your worth and won't let anyone walk over you. You're also very bittersweet too. You also bring peace and harmony with you everywhere you go. Men also see that you have a great intellect. You want or might have an emotionally secure and loving family or this kind of family is important to you . Men want to have kids with you so that you wouldn't get away from them.( you almost arouse the breeding kink in men) Men also see you as someone who's very stubborn. You know exactly what you want and won't settle for anything less than that. Men also feel instant connection with you. But you're also a heartbreaker. Or men see you as one. I am also getting that men see you as someone who had a great glow up. Or you can be someone who changes their aesthetic very often. And looks good in everything. I'm hearing Made You look by Meghan Trainor. So this song might be important to you. Or you give off the energy of this song. Men also find your voice very attractive. You could have a deep or soothing voice.

Random messages : Capricorn, Leo, Aries, Aquarius, Pisces, libra, August, 8 , moon, clouds, Ram, rest, 1010 , 333 , pineapple, good back, smooth hair.

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PILE 3

Hey pile 3! You're pile got the most cards like my cards were flying out lol. Okay so right off the bat I'm getting that you might give off serial killer Vibes to men and men are also scared of you . You might practice witchcraft or are interested in the occult and you seem to always talk about it , so somehow men are scared of you because they see you as a witch. And somehow you pull both men and women. You have a lot of suitors. You like taking risks. Men feel scared of you because you don't seem to have fear about anything . It's like you like to put yourself in dangerous situations and take risks because it gives you pleasure almost like a psychopath. You give off light yagami's vibe from DEATH NOTE. You might say something very controversial or wear a shirt with something very controversial written on it. Men don't want to involve themselves with you because sometimes they think that they'll be in on bad rumors. Some of you might be bisexual. You are very in tune with your sexuality. This pile is very different, I'm amazed. You might have masculine energy or like to act masculine and men somehow feel insecure around you. You can do everything by yourself and don't need anyone to help. And this gives men anxiety because they know they won't be in your life if they're not offering you something or being helpful in some way. You easily attract the spotlight. Some men also see you as somehow who they'll love to work with or be on good terms with. You also give some regrets to men. Like when you cut ties with men they feel like they should've treated you better. Men might also be against your beliefs and what you say. You always trigger something in them. Men see you as a very goal oriented person. Alright so here I feel a male's energy, this can be your ex or if you don't have an ex this is your ex-crush. They see how great you're doing in your life and they feel regretful about what they couldn't have with you.

Random messages : lion/Tiger high cheekbones, Leo , virgo, rabbit, Target, a good friend, guilt trip, Tea, sharp jawline, Bun.

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[thirteenis-myluckynumber]

Proposal - Nie Huaisang

Pairing: Nie Huaisang x f!reader

Word Count: 1669 words

Warnings/tags: none i think, the events leading up to the wedding, fluff

Notes: (C/N)-your clan's name, (Y/N)-your name

A/N: I planned this to be a one-shot but I got carried away, so the actual action *wink wink* will happen in the next chapter.

I did some completely unnecessary research for this (my adhd ass basically got distracted) but nothing specific. My cultural knowledge is from the show so I'm sorry for any possible mistakes regarding culture. This is my first time writing The Untamed. Also English is not my first language.

Part 2

You met Nie Huaisang at one of the cultivation meetings Jin Guangyao held in Carp Tower. You were a member of one of the smaller clans, so you didn't attend such gatherings in general. That one time your older brother insisted for you to come, as there were some issues to be discussed which might need your expertise as a healer.

During the many battles of the Sunshot Campaign, you actively participated in the healing of wounded soldiers, so many members from the bigger clans also knew you. So it was no wonder they were all pleasantly surprised to see you there at the meeting. After the greetings and toasts you were free to mingle, and almost everyone greeted you with a pleasant smile and grateful eyes. You also greeted them politely, asking about their family and health.

After a while you noticed that Zewu-jun were looking at you, wanting to invite you over to where he was standing with his brother Lan Wangji, Jin Guangyao and another finely dressed young man. As you walked over Lianfang-zun excused himself to greet the other guests. You turned to the remaining three men with a smile, and they bowed to you in return.

"(C/N)(Y/N). It's so nice to see you. What brings you here?" Lan Xichen asked with a small smile on his lips.

"Apparently, Lianfang-zun requires my help with something. And I took the chance to reunite with old acquaintances."

Lan Wangji stared at you in his usual way, not showing any of his emotions. You also wanted to ask what brought him here, but with a curt nod to you and his brother he also excused himself. Finally, you turned to the man now standing next to Lan Xichen. You had an attention to detail, so only a quick glance was enough for you to notice his handsome face and elegant clothing however, you didn't remember meeting him before.

"It's nice to meet you, Master...," you trailed off somewhat nervously as you didn't know how to address him.

He appeared lost in thought for a moment as he seemed to ever so slightly jump at your words. Still, he quickly schooled his expression into a calm and dignified look, but you could still see his nervousness underneath.

"I am Nie Huaisang. Pleased to meet you Lady (C/N)," he said as he bowed to you again, holding his fan in his hands.

As you realized your previous mistake, you were quick to return his bow.

"Ahh, please excuse my rudeness Clan Leader Nie."

He didn't seem offended at all as he glanced at you with a small smile, which appeared to be sad to you. You knew the story of his ascension to clan leader, after all his brother's death was still a widely discussed topic between cultivators. You also heard the various mean stories about Nie Huaisang himself, in which cultivators often referred to him as the Head Shaker or Good-For-Nothing. Stealing another glance at the man, he didn't seem quite as incompetent to you as these stories described him. He might not carry a sword and appear generally nervous, but you could also see the intelligence in his eyes. Right when you wanted to ask him about the situation in Qinghe, your brother called out to you to return to your tables. You exchanged bows with the two men again and returned to where your clan was sitting. However, you didn't seem to think about anything else that day but the handsome and mysterious Clan Leader Nie.

In the upcoming weeks you had the chance to meet with Nie Huaisang many more times, at political meetings and at night hunts too. You were not one to attend often, but as time went by you became more and more interested in the leader of the Nie Clan. As far as men go, he was the first one with whom you could always stir up meaningful conversations about various topics, not just politics or war. As someone who were always interested in music and arts, you found it exceptionally refreshing to listen to him talk about his passions, especially painting and his favourite fans. Looking at him, it always made you happy to see him quite relaxed during your conversations. After a while he even became bolder and started to show you his beautiful smile and laugh and you had to realize, that you, at the same time, started to fall in love with him.

Your brother always had a watchful eye on you two and he always let you know when he thought you spent enough time in the company of the clan leader. You understood his reasoning of course, so you always rejoined your family after a short conversation with Nie Huaisang.

After a few such meetings though, you started receiving gifts from him. At first you didn't know from whom they came from, but one time a messenger, who delivered some letters to your brother, handed you a neatly packaged hand-painted folding fan. It was the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, and you instantly knew who it was from. As you carefully traced the intricately painted lines on the fan with your fingertips your heart was beating so hard you felt it might jump out of your chest at any moment.

The next week your brother informed you that Clan Leader Nie requested a lunch with him and that you should also attend. Despite his reputation, everyone in your home made sure the preparation for the lunch were going smoothly. Everyone seemed excited to host such a high-ranking cultivator in your home. To say that you were nervous when the day finally arrived was an understatement. Actually, you thought you were never this nervous before.

During the lunch you were actually becoming calmer until your brother finally steered the conversation toward the actual meaning of the whole thing.

"Clan Leader Nie, may I ask the reason of your visit?" Your brother inquired after you exhausted all the general conversation topics.

Nie Huaisang seemed rather nervous too during the whole lunch, but looking at him now you were worried he might actually faint. Good thing you are a healer, you thought. For a few moments he sat there completely silent and almost motionless. Only his hands fiddling with his closed fan revealed his emotions. He looked up at your brother and opened his fan to hide behind it. The longer he spoke the quicker his hand moved the elegant accessory, and it seemed his face got redder by the minute.

"Clan Leader (C/N), as you probably noticed, we became quite well-acquainted with your sister. I would like to believe we became rather close even in the past few weeks. And you didn't seem opposed by my advances either. What I mean by all this is that...," he trailed off, even his ears were bright red by now. He appeared to be steeling himself for his next words. Finally he reluctantly lowered his fan and looked at you with frightened but hopeful eyes. God, you just wanted to hug him at that moment. But you couldn't, so you mustered your most encouraging smile and nodded at him. You were certain your cheeks were also red at that point. Nie Huaisang looked straight into your brother's eyes and said:

"I would like to ask for your permission to take your sister as my wife."

When he finally said it, it seemed like a huge stone was lifted off of his shoulders. His posture became more relaxed, but the fan opened again, only at his chest though, not covering his face. Now it was your turn to nervously glance at your brother. His face didn't show anger or disgust, only deep contemplation, which was a good sign, you thought.

"Clan Leader Nie, I am honored you think so highly of my sister. I have to say however, your bad reputation is not something I can ignore..."

"Gege!" You exclaimed, looking at your brother shocked and scared. Thinking back, you never thought your brother believed all those mean rumors about Nie Huaisang because he was just as good at reading people as you were.

"Meimei, let me finish," your brother said not even looking at you, a slight warning in his voice.

"Clan Leader Nie, as you said, I never opposed your relations with my sister. You seem to me an honorable man, and you never behaved inappropriately around her. But you have to understand, my sister's future depends on me. That's why I brought up your reputation. They say you are incompetent, but that's not what I see. I think you are very good at this whole political game. All I ask of you is to take care of my sister and don't let her reputation be ruined."

As he finished speaking you instantly turned to Nie Huaisang, who seemed to freeze, only his eyes turned impossibly big. His mind probably stuck to the same thought as yours, because that meant your brother actually agreed, right?

With his next sentence, he confirmed your suspicions: "I accept your proposal. If my sister agrees, she is yours."

You could only nod your head furiously as Nie Huaisang stood up and bowed deeply to your brother in thanks.

"Clan Leader (C/N), I assure you, your sister's happiness will always be my top priority. I will take care of her until my last day," Nie Huaisang said, his voice shaky.

As he straightened up, you could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears and you couldn't hold yourself back anymore. You basically jumped up, walked around the table and grabbed his shaking hands.

"I would love to be yours, Nie Huaisang," you said squeezing his hands.

He looked at you with that self-assured half smile you loved so much, and which he showed so rarely these days, but it always signaled some kind of mischief.

You didn't notice your brother looking at you two with a fond look on his face.

To be continued

[thepersonperson]

The Reproductive Horror of JJK Part 1 (The Loss of Bodily Autonomy)

Part 2

Notes before we start.

1) This analysis deals heavily with topics of nonconsent, grooming, abuse, reproductive manipulation, and pregnancy. Please proceed with caution.

2) This post was inspired by @hermitw

3) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility. 

4) Written as of JJK 265.

(Click images for captions/citations.)

Preface 

This was written with the assumption you've also read these other analyses:

Thoughts on Sukuna and Kenjaku’s relationship as of JJK 258.

Please give it a quick glance at least.

Quiet Horror

Jujutsu Kaisen is a unique piece of horror writing to me because the most upsetting aspects rely almost entirely on implication. Immensely triggering topics such as sexual abuse and rape are never shown, only implied. I personally have difficulty consuming/cannot consume media that depicts these kinds of things graphically, which is why JJK’s framing of it intrigues me. Rather than being sent into a panic, I find myself deeply unnerved. I’ve decided to call this “quiet horror” since I don’t know how else to describe it.

The quiet horror of JJK has been there since the start—the dehumanization, the loss of autonomy, the idea someone’s body does not belong to them and therefore ok to use… It’s right there in your face starting with Yuji becoming Sukuna’s vessel. But the horror is not just that those things occur, it’s that hardly anyone recognizes this as a problem.

These insidious ideas are persistent across the narrative and accepted. And its primary victims are the female characters.

Misogyny

The fascinating thing about misogyny in JJK is how it is rarely outright depicted. Characters will talk about generational abuse spawned by it, but we never actually see it in action until Naoya. And even that is mostly implied. 

That’s how it is in real life too. When people experience overt misogyny, it’s often when they’re isolated. For example a family gathering where the men leer at girls and say horrendous things is witnessed by only those attending. If one was never around this, the only way they’re made aware of it is by a victim discussing it.

And this is exactly what happens with the Zenins.

What’s troubling about this exchange is Momo laying out everything wrong with systemic misogyny and that’s it. She offers no solution to it because she has none. Nobara is told, this is reality and you need to accept it.

Mai falls into the same defeatist trappings, angry at Maki for trying to do something about it.

You can’t really hold this against her. She’s been abused to an extent Maki wasn’t aware of and Maki is the only person Mai can lash out at without consequence.

To be clear, it is heavily implied that Naoya molested her. Some of the first words out of his mouth are him sexualizing his underage cousins. And later as a curse, he taunts Maki for being an adult with Mai. 

It’s easy to dismiss this as Naoya mocking Mai for not reaching adulthood. However, Mai has incestuous thoughts about Megumi and Maki (seeing them as her first crushes per the fanbook), which can be a very unfortunate side effect experienced by incest victims (huge content warning for the linked source). Combine that with the knowledge of Naoya’s earlier sexualization and the implication is heavy.

Mai’s abuse is not the only one framed this way. Naoya’s mother is without a face or name. The only hint of her abuse is the word いっぱい (ippai) which means many. Naoya has many older siblings who aren’t named. He is the next head before Gojo’s sealing due to his Cursed Technique (CT) being the same as his father’s. From this it can be inferred his mother was treated like livestock and used by Naobito until she produced a worthy heir. 

Rika’s character profile is included here because her story is much like Mai’s—her abuse at the hands of her father is heavily implied. Her intense dislike of older men, being aware of predatory gazes as a child, and even using that for manipulation—these are all traits child victims of sexual assault may display (huge content warning for the linked source).

It’s hard to pick up on these things unless you’re in the know. But it is there and it is consistent. …And most of the cast doesn’t do much about it. Maki and Rika are different in that regard. They react to these transgressions violently, killing their abusers (and in Maki’s case the enablers too). Neither of them are in the wrong for doing so. It’s just really sad that they had to take matters into their own hands because no one else would stop it.

Hidden in Plain Sight

The misogyny female characters experience is very subdued and never graphic. Creepy behavior towards them is never shown outright, it’s all implied. We don’t see Naoya leer at Mai, we hear him discuss her figure in her absence. (I think that’s what helps make this less triggering. We don’t have to see them be victimized.) The same cannot be said of the male characters.

Ui Ui is a character that makes most people extremely uncomfortable because the grooming he experiences is in your face, pedophilic, and incestuous. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that as a ruthless capitalist, Mei Mei exploits her brother this way for the sake of money.

Through warped affection she has convinced a child that his body belongs to her and that he is only to use it for her. 

What makes this situation go from bad to worse is that everyone around them just tolerates it. The most opposition we see to this relationship is Yuji side eyeing them. Otherwise people are more than happy to look the other way and even enable it by paying for their services.

This contradiction is especially glaring when it comes to Gojo, who very much is against the enjoyment of youth to be stolen away from his students. Why does Gojo pay for and tolerate this woman who is very clearly preying on her brother? Is it because Ui Ui seems happy with situation?

Well, I think it’s because he’s used to it too.

To acknowledge that what Mei Mei is doing as wrong and intervening would be admitting to himself that he was taken advantage of as a child. It’s not like it killed him, you know? He’s strong and he’s beautiful. Everyone wants him for his body. That’s just how things work.

In the fanbook Gege says that Gojo can never be fully honest with a woman. And that is a response to the question: “He (Gojo) seems to be aware of his own handsomeness, does he want to have a partner?”

It’s a bit concerning that Gojo is avoidant with women while having a history of them attempting to prey on him as a child. It doesn't help that in the Gojo Booklet interview, Gege reveals that Gojo would apparently be a sugar baby to someone much older than him if he didn't have to be a sorcerer.

The framing of these scenes as comedic is very uncomfortable. It’s a bit too similar to how male victims are portrayed in real life too. I’m not sure if this is intentional on Gege’s part, but regardless the result for me is horror. These terrible things are happening and nothing is being done about it.

Ui Ui and Gojo are taken advantage of by these adults because of what their bodies can do for them. This is a recurring theme in JJK not much different from how the women and girls are treated by the men of the Zenins. All of this stems from dehumanization that results in objectification. 

I’ve said before that Gojo and Sukuna are twin flames. And in this aspect they’re very similar I think. Something awful happened to Sukuna right in our faces and most of the readerbase didn’t take it seriously because he’s The Strongest and a man.

This is sexual assault point blank. A naked person forcibly put her body against Sukuna and he didn’t want that to happen. And just like everyone else, Yorozu did this because she wants Sukuna’s body for herself.

It’s framed like a joke, but the horror persists. Sukuna is going catatonic here in part because losing means entering a marriage he has no interest in. The implication here is distressing—Sukuna sees this as losing his bodily autonomy and being raped for the rest of his life. Likening that to death is understandable.

Hopefully you can see the pattern now. Sexual assault and exploitation is commonplace in JJK. It’s just subtle enough to make people vaguely uncomfortable without making them realize it’s ongoing theme. That’s the quiet horror of JJK.

The Dehumanization of Vessels

Vessels represent everything that makes my skin crawl in JJK. Someone’s body no longer belongs to themself—it’s a thing, a container that is for someone else to use. They aren’t even afforded the dignity of their name most of the time, being referred to as Someone’s Vessel by others.

Itadori Yuji

It goes without saying, Yuji’s dehumanization is the most blatant. He’s called Sukuna’s Vessel by most of the people around him and slated to be executed for the crime of existing as it. The other teenagers around his age are taught this dehumanization by those much older than him.

It’s absurd. Despite Yuji being born with and living in this body of his for 15 years, it’s suddenly not his. All because Sukuna “tainted” it.

And look at this declaration from Uraume: “Whose body do you think that is?!”

They phrase this as if it was never Yuji’s to begin with. 

On some level that is true, Kenjaku created Yuji to be the perfect cage for Sukuna. Uraume didn’t know that the time Yuji was literally bred into existence by Kenjaku to be a tool, but it’s interesting nonetheless. It’s even more interesting that Kenjaku is not the only one guilty of claiming a child’s body from birth for use by an adult. Tegen has a whole bloodline that gives them vessels for consumption.

Star Plasma Vessels

Amanai Riko is introduced as The Star Plasma Vessel while naked in a tub. Symbolically this is striking—she is a blank slate that can only be projected onto. Clothing reflects a person’s lifestyle, personality, and tastes. Riko being denied this in her introduction demonstrates her lack of autonomy. 

And just like how the Kyoto kids were groomed into dehumanizing Yuji, she is groomed into dehumanizing herself by the adults around her. It’s ok that she’s a vessel and someone else will use her body to live because it’s for the greater good.

Those aren’t her true feelings though. Deep down she wants to have her body and her life. And an adult still winds up taking that away from her. 

Isn’t it interesting how Gojo does this same song and dance to himself as The Strongest? Knowing this history and his adamancy towards Yuji’s autonomy (especially in the light novels) is all the more heart wrenching.

But this didn’t start with Yuji, it started with Riko. …on Tengen’s orders.

It’s strange that the individual taking away the lives of hand-picked young girls would be this considerate, right?

JJK never tries to frame characters as completely evil at all times. I appreciate that because it makes depictions of abuse far more realistic. We don’t see Naobito abuse his wife or enable Naoya, we see him half-drunk fighting like a pro without openly antagonizing Maki. If you didn’t know about the Zenin Clan, he’d just be a funny old man. This dichotomy is often why abuse victims aren’t believed. The people they tell only know the good side. And someone who is capable of that goodness can’t possibly be that bad. 

It’s the same way for Tengen. They’re not a creep that salivates over young girls, they’re a calm and reasonable individual who has convinced themself and many others that these actions are necessary. Yuki is the only person that calls them out for how screwed up this all is.

Before Gojo, she was The Strongest. And before Riko, she was the Star Plasma Vessel. Her body and her life was going to be given away in service to someone much older than her under the guise of a necessary evil perpetuated by religion. She rejected that and escaped her fate by becoming uncontrollably strong.

Yuki has every right to be this angry. What Tengen is doing is very messed up. All kinds of excuses and softenings are made for them, but in the end they are using the bodies of young girls to sustain themself. That’s why it’s all the more horrifying that these girls’ souls are still present and coherent enough to speak.

I really like that Yuki won’t let Tengen know what they’re saying. She’s right to assume that Tengen will just excuse whatever comes from it. However, the fact she’s this angry implies those voices aren’t anything pleasant.

Incarnation

The horror of being trapped in a body that no longer belongs to you doesn’t just exist for Tengen’s Plasma Star Vessels, it’s the very foundation of Kenjaku’s vessel incarnation. Which of them came up with this idea is first unknown. They ultimately do the same things to vessels but for very different reasons.

Incarnation works on two layers of screwed up:

1) The host’s soul is suppressed to the point where the invader cannot detect them.

2) It’s next to impossible to return them to who they were once before.

Following the quiet themes around sexual assault, this bears an uncanny resemblance to victims dealing with the aftermath of such an event. Your body no longer feels like it belongs to you, becoming invisible to those who favor the perpetrator, forever tainted after being used by another.

And following the quiet themes around misogyny, this becomes reproductive horror. A body stripped of autonomy and permanently changed after being forced to give someone else new life—Incarnation is a visceral depiction of forced pregnancies.

Pregnancy Horror (Kenjaku)

I think it’s deliberate that mothers in JJK are hardly given faces or names. That’s all a misogynistic society wants them for anyways. Their bodies are to produce someone worthwhile. A tool for those in power to use for their own ends. 

Our first introduction to this is Kamo’s mother, who despite playing a central role in his life, remains unnamed. She gives birth to a worthy heir of the Kamo Clan and is immediately discarded. 

Thankfully Kamo eventually abandons his clan in favor of supporting his mother. Learning a hard lesson from Maki, he seems to conclude that clans existing through misogynistic practices cannot be reformed into a place for women. 

And this misogyny of the Kamo Clan’s is historical. Enough for Kenjaku to take the place of Meiji-era Kamo Notoroshi to commit the most heinous sexual abuses known so far. And despite this history, the modern Kamo Notoroshi is named after him. Another awful secret known by those in power that is never fully condemned since they ultimately benefit from treating women like broodmares.

Death Painting Wombs

The Kamo Clan’s greatest sin is the coverup of Kenjaku’s actions as Kamo Notoroshi. I’ll be going much more into depth with its severity, be warned.

We’ll start with the facts. The faceless and nameless mother of Choso and his 9 brothers was raped by Kenjaku and a cursed spirit 9 times and had those fetuses aborted 9 times. 

I’ve been on about the loss of bodily autonomy so I’ll be focusing on the abortion process itself. Historical abortions were incredibly dangerous things. Though they varied by region, a lot of the methodology converges.

I will quote the favored methods in historical Japan directly from this article:

“Natural methods included drinking poisonous substances or herbal concoctions, all of which lacked a scientific basis. Many had adverse effects. Other means included acupuncture, cold water immersion, and vaginally inserting sharp objects such as burdock roots to break the amniotic sack.”

Kenjaku is someone that does not care about others’ suffering since everyone is just a thing to be played with. I doubt the victims of these experiments were offered any pain relief. Choso’s mother was made to endure one of these methods 9 times.

When Mahito feeds one of the fetuses to a man, we can see that it is slightly smaller than their palm. Here’s a helpful guide for the size of a fetus by week based on the size of a fruit.

I think a lime or lemon best represents the size and shape. A palm sized fetus is somewhere around 12–16 weeks old. Methods that involve inducing a miscarriage via ingesting medicine or poison decrease drastically after 8–12 weeks. (I’m basing this off the abortion pill that actually works.)

Kenjaku wanted to make sure the fetuses remained intact, so inducing a miscarriage by puncturing the amniotic sac to trigger labor-like contractions was most likely the chosen method. I’m not sure if Kenjaku can use Reversed Cursed Technique (RCT) on others to heal them, but that would allow for C-sections to be possible too.

It takes several weeks or months to become pregnant again after a miscarriage. Let’s standardize this as a range of 2–24 weeks. (Based on the earliest known conception at 2 weeks and the recommended conception time of 6 months.) Choso’s mother endured this without pain management 9 times.

12–16 weeks of pregnancy.

2–24 weeks for conception.

9 Times.

She endured these rapes and abortions ranging anywhere from 126–360 weeks or 2.4–6.9 years. 

I’m harping on this point because unless you know the details, this bit gets glossed over. The struggles of those who are pregnant both willingly and not are often downplayed or kept out of sight. Whatever symptoms she had for the first trimester of pregnancy (0-12 weeks) were repeated without support and knowing it was to be terminated 9 times over.

Here is a list of possible symptoms for the first trimester from the Cleveland Clinic.

Sore Breasts

Nausea: "Morning sickness is one of the telltale signs of early pregnancy. Despite its name, it can last all day and all night."

Mood Swings: "The sudden rush of hormones may put you on a rollercoaster of emotions. You may alternate between feeling anxious or scared to excited or weepy within a span of 30 minutes. It may be helpful to talk through your feelings with a friend or your partner.

Fatigue

Frequent Urination: "Your uterus begins to grow to support the pregnancy. It may begin pressing on your bladder, causing you to need to pee more often."

Acne or Other Skin Changes

Mild Shortness of Breath

I do not blame Choso for only referring to this as Kenjaku toying with his mother. The full breadth of her suffering is not something her child should have to bear.

Kenjaku repeats a similar kind of trauma for every incarnation born of a human made to swallow an object. Their bodies don’t belong to them anymore—they’re just hosts to the life of someone they never wanted to have.

To what extent the incarnated know they will be inflicting this harm on others is unknown. It’s just very uncomfortable knowing that Kenjaku created this method in a way that makes the violation of bodies mandatory. 

Tengen

This obsession with forcing pregnancies onto others does not end with incarnation or the death painting wombs. Kenjaku’s absorption of Tengen is a culmination of these experiments. 

Tengen is turned into a pregnancy. Who we’ve established to be hosting a mass of young girl’s bodies. The yonic imagery is incredibly overt for this process.

Tengen is put into a womb that resembles a vagina before becoming a fetus. Kenjaku’s Domain Expansion (DE) contains the literal decapitated heads of the pregnant. (More faceless women being used for their bodies.)

The DE name itself refers to Garbhadhatu which is the Womb Realm in Buddhism. You could translate this as all-enveloping womb.

What this symbolically means, I have no idea. There is, however, a consistent, misogynistic disregard for consent and the bodies of those who can bear children when it comes to Kenjaku. And that’s horrifying.

Sukuna 

Initially Kenjaku bears the Merger pregnancy using the stolen dead body of Geto Suguru. So even though Kenjaku consents to this pregnancy, the person whose body is being used for this doesn’t get to have a say in it.

But we already know how upsetting that is. We’ve seen how much this has pissed off Gojo Satoru who blames himself for his loved one’s defilement. What’s not being discussed in depth is Sukuna’s being inadvertently made a victim from this.

Sukuna’s fingers, a cursed object explicitly made by Kenjaku, are able to create cursed wombs. Since these fingers were created long before the death painting wombs, it appears that Kenjaku’s first attempts to birth evolved humans started with him.

Note how the finger bearers have 4 eyes, just like Sukuna.

I’ve been over why Kenjaku would target Sukuna and how Sukuna does not desire relationships or progeny and how his strength has prevented Kenjaku from forcing that on him directly. What I’m trying to draw attention to is how this appears to be the start of Kenjaku trying to workaround his boundaries without getting killed.

Knowing the extent to which Kenjaku is willing to turn others’ bodies into breeding stock makes the fact Sukuna’s fingers are essentially capable of birthing powerful curses very alarming.

Kenjaku didn’t stop there. The binding vow between them was still made to produce these cursed objects and the context of its formation is still missing. The other culling game players make it very clear Kenjaku either manipulated or tricked them into becoming cursed objects. There is not a single named character Kenjaku didn’t betray in some fashion after misleading them with false promises.

For Sukuna, Yuji being a cage instead of a vessel already indicated Kenjaku was not being honest with him. I think there’s more to it than that though. The details of the Merger and what activates it are something Sukuna and Uraume do not fully understand. Kenjaku tries to explain a little bit to them, but they both shut it down.

And without knowing the full breadth or implication of their binding vow, I don’t think Sukuna expected to be forced into a pregnancy that requires birthing.

I appreciate that Sukuna falls victim to this manipulation despite being the strongest. It goes to show that anyone can experience the loss of bodily autonomy.

Itadori Jin & Kaori 

His identical twin is not spared of this reproductive manipulation either. Jin is manipulated into having a child with the corpse of his wife who is piloted by Kenjaku. But I want to take the time to give Kaori the dignity Kenjaku has denied her.

Even if Kaori wanted a child, there is no meaningful way for her to consent to this pregnancy. I’m not even sure if Jin fully understood there was someone else wearing Kaori’s body. There is a real possibility she didn’t want a child to begin with. We just don’t know since everyone except her gets to discuss it.

She’s exactly like Choso’s mother here. Her body no longer belongs to her and she has no spoken dialogue. Her personhood is denied on introduction. What she was like or what things she aspired to is treated as irrelevant—she’s just another woman Kenjaku used and discarded like a tool.

Visceral Femininity 

Bloodborne is a game about. Well it’s a game that happens at you. There is little plot or reason to the Lovecraftian horrors that drive you and the characters mad. But when you examine the fragments of lore hidden both in plain sight and on item descriptions…you go insane.

There are patterns though. Seemingly unrelated pieces of this ethereal puzzle can be stitched together with a keen eye. Someone made a video on it and concluded it was about motherhood.

After watching this perspective, this reading seems obvious. With all the disjointed umbilical cords, births, abortions, and blood. It’s a proper reproductive horror.

To me, JJK resembles Bloodborne in that way. And after I was granted the eyes to see, I’ve noticed that this body horror has been here as early as JJK 0.

In fact JJK 0 and first chapter feature female characters being groped by curses. (Sometimes the word Geto uses for violated can be translated as rape.)

Motherhood, and everything that causes it, is something JJK uses as a vehicle to discuss the undiscussable—bodily autonomy and its loss for exploitation. Rather than presenting it as something we’re familiar with, it’s a symbolic, pervasive theme in how the bodies of others are seen as tools for those in power.

The organs and bodies of those who can become pregnant are twisted into things that inflict pain. In the case of Naoya, he quite literally becomes a cunt that torments the surviving twin of the girl he molested.

And his hand sign references a deity who manipulates bodies in the womb, changing females to males.

It’s never quite stated outright or even properly addressed by the characters, but you still feel that sickening pit. There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way things are. Why is so little being done about it?

[veren-cos]

Bachelors (Sdv) x gn!Anorexic Reader

Tw for anorexia, mentions of purging, poor self image, and weight loss. If you struggle with an eating disorder please reach out for help. Things will be okay, and you can get through it.

Another note, this fic (even tho almost all of mine are) is gender neutral. There is this stereotype that only girls can have eating disorders, but this is not true. Anyone can get an eating disorder and everyone deserves comfort.

This is proofread / sensitivity read (Is that the word?)and requested by @vvnbxz (tysm!!!)

Sam

• If you told Sam you had anorexia he wouldn't know what the hell to do.

• Honestly if you opened up to him about anything to do with mental health he wouldn't know what to do.

• And it isn't that he doesn't try, it's just that he doesn't know. (He is just a clueless guy and that's okay/hj)

• But yeah, when you tell him he is just so worried. He noticed as a general statement you didn't eat a lot, but he thought you just had a low appetite.

• So he never thought too much of it, unless it was the days you didn't eat anything.

• On one of those days, he finally asked about it. When you told him you had anorexia, he just looked. So sad.

• "Babe I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't notice. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. But I will be now. What do you need?"

• If you need comfort, he is there the whole time. Whispering sweet nothings into your ear. "You are beautiful babe. How on earth did ever land someone like you?" (He is still a skater boy haha)

• If you need structure and legitimate help, he will be asking and researching. He asks Harvey how to help someone with Anorexia, and Google became his best friend. Though Google was a tad unreliable, you appreciated the effort.

• Overall, he just wants to be there for you, and will do his damned best to make sure you feel better.

Sebastian

• This is going to sound off topic but it's relevant I promise!!

• Sebastian is online a lot, okay? He almost definitely uses discord. At one point he was in a mental health server because he was really struggling and was just trying to find resources to help himself right?

• Well there was a channel in there about eating disorders, and while he didn't personally have one, he kinda just lurked in the server and read about everything.

• So Sebastian has a really large amount of knowledge in almost any mental health topic! And knows where to look for more info, and has heard personal storied. (Yay context is over with now onto the actual thing-)

• When you tell Sebastian you have anorexia, he is probably the calmest put of all of the Bachelors.

• He saw the signs, but recognized that it was still your business, and you were not in a desperate situation where he would have to step in. So he waited for you to tell him, while keeping an eye to make sure things didn't get any worse.

• Back to when you tell him though, he holds your hand and just pulls you into a hug. He offers to make food more often so you don't have to think about it.

• He tries to make sure it's lighter stuff, and doesn't overwhelm you with anything.

• He watches out for signs of it getting worse, and checks in with you often about how you are doing, and if there is anything more he can do to help.

• He understands that anorexia affects your entire life, but he knows that it is your life. He respects your boundaries, basically. He wants you to he in full control of your recovery, with him just helping you along the way.

• He encourages you to go to therapy. He sets you up with an tele-health therapist, and he gives you a bunch of online resources for when he isn't around.

• Overall, Sebastian is really sweet about it, and just tries to be helpful.

Alex

• He would unknowingly make things worse at first.

• When you get together for sure, but especially when you move in together. He definitely counts calories to make sure he is getting enough for whatever sport thing he is doing, and when he tried to encourage you to join it brings back some old habits.

• After a month or so of living together, Alex notices you've been loosing way too much weight. So he asks about it.

• He thought you were doing an extremely unhealthy diet, so when he did ask you about it he was not expecting this to be a long time issue.

• When you tell him that you have anorexia, he immediately apologizes for asking bluntly.

• "No, no. Alex it's fine. I should have told you."

• He takes a pause because he knows he has to be careful now. "..why didn't you?" It was so quiet.

• "I just couldn't Alex!" That came out louder than you meant it.

• "You are so perfect and really damn.. I dont even know you just.. I'm jealous of you. You have everything under control all the time. And I see how much effort you put into keeping it up that I didn't feel like I could stand next to you! I feel gross, food makes me feel gross. And I didn't want to burden you with this. Nothing in my life is going right right now. And this is the one thing I can make go right. But apparently I can't because I'm screwing this up too!"

• You pulled your hands to your face and broke down sobbing.

• Alex pulled you onto a hug. "Shhh, shhh" he strokes your hair. "Your going to be okay? I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I was making you feel like that."

• You shot up. "No don't apologize! You aren't doing anything wrong, I'm the one who needs to get things together!"

• "But I should have been more considerate! I should have seen!"

• Both of you took a second to calm down.

• After a moment, Alex spoke again, "what can I do to help you?"

• And you didn't know. You didn't know anything.

• "Alex I don't know. I didn't even think this was going to come back again I don't even know how I dealt with it the first time."

• He let out a breath. "Okay. I'm not changing what I'm doing, because I know that will just make you feel guilty. But I won't talk about it okay? I'll move the scale outside somewhere else. And I'm going to check in with you every once in a while. Okay?"

• You nodded.

• "I don't know what I can do to help, but I will not be giving you more to overtime about. You are perfect just the way you are. You don't need to change, your body is perfect. Okay?"

• You nodded again. This time it was you pulling him into a hug.

• "Okay. Okay yeah we can do this. Thank you." The last words came so softly that you just hoped Alex heard.

• "Of course, anything for you."

Harvey

• Harvey had seen the signs well before you confirmed his suspicions.

• He noticed you leaving very shortly after dinner dates, how you avoided mirrors when getting ready.

• He had known you for a long time now and he could see that you had lost weight, and not at a normal rate.

• After you moved in together, things became blaringly obvious.

• One morning he woke up to the sound of you throwing up.

• That's when everything became real.

• He walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "My love? Can I come in?"

• "NO!" You coughed, "no, no I'm fine it's okay."

• "Dear we have to talk about this."

• "No we don't, I'm fine. I just wasn't feeling good."

• You went back and forth on this for a while, but eventually he just came in.

• "My love, we just moved in together. I am very serious about this relationship. This means we have to tell each other when things aren't okay. Okay?"

• You thought for a moment. "Harvey, you're a doctor. You are just going to go on a medical spiel if I talk to you. I already know what's wrong. I'm handling it."

• He sighed, "I don't mean to be blunt, but clearly you aren't. All you have is protein shakes in your fridge, you can't live off of those. And I'm assuming you do this every morning? You can't be drinking those and then throwing them up. It defeats the purpose of drinking in the first place."

• "But I have to! I have to do this Harvey. This is the one thing in my life I have control over I have to do this."

• "No, you don't! Dear, I can help you, you just have to let me! You have full control over your life. Let me be here for you"

• You sat there. Just thinking. Harvey had no idea how what he said would land. Would you get upset? Would you lash out? Cry?

• "Okay." You whispered

• He stared at you.

• "I said okay!" You were nearly shouting. "Help me! I know this isn't okay but I need help!"

• Oh thank yoba you listened. "Thank you. Now, please just listen to me. Please." He waited for a nod of recognition before continuing,

• "I'm making all the food from here on out. And I dont care what you say because you are not burdening anyone. You aren't going to look at any labels, I'll scratch them out if you need me too.

• "I'll make a meal chart for each week, and you don't have to eat all of it, but you need to eat something. Eating something is better than nothing, I don't care what it is."

• This was already making you nervous. It was all too much, but if nothing else you had to try for him.

• "Okay.. okay. Okay yeah... thank you."

• He gave you a big hug.

• "I'm here for you with this. You don't have to do this alone."

Shane

• Shane is not perfect by any means, we all know this.

• But one thing I will stand on is that, if y'all are dating, he will stand with you through any mental health crisis no problems.

• He probably wouldn't notice much of the mental signs, but would notice you loosing weight.

• He tried to ask you about it a few times, but you always brushed it off.

• He let it be until you literally fainted from lack of food intake.

• He rushed you to Harvey's and honestly just hoped you would finally open up to him about what was going on.

• Harvey had already known you had an eating disorder because it was in your file, so when you woke up, he strongly encouraged you to talk to Shane about it.

• Shane was chill enough to at least wait until you had gotten home to talk about it.

• ...

• "So what the hell was that?" He asked.

• "Shane, I'm sorr-"

• "No, don't be sorry that's not what I'm asking for. I'm asking what that was." He stared you down.

• "Shane.." You sighed. You had meant to tell him but everything you tried, something got in the way.

• "Shane, I have anorexia. I'm not going to make it into a big thing. I mean, I guess I already did because I literally fainted. But I want you to know that I am working on it."

• "And you didn't tell me, because.? Babe, we all have our issues we are going through. I want to be there for you but I can't be if you don't tell me."

• "It was hard, That's why. I know you don't care, but I care so much as to what others think of me. About what I think of me. I dont like the way I feel. The way I look. I just always compare myself to others and I don't like it. I'm not asking for help and I certainly don't want it but I think I might need it at this point."

• He sighed, and had both of you sit down. "Okay.. okay, thank you for telling me. Now that the hard part is over, here is the harder part. We are getting you into therapy. It might be uncomfortable. But it will help. I know it helps me. And I know I can't do anything personally, but talk to me if anything is going on. I'm here to listen, okay?"

• He doesn't tend to be one for random physicaly affection, but he pulls you into a tight hug.

• He really meant every word, so from then on you became more dependent on him like he was on you.

Elliott

• Elliott. Oh Elliott.

• He knew something was up right when you started going out.

• You never ate much, never drank much. It looked like you felt food and taking care of yourself was a burden.

• So once you got married and moved in together, he knew he had to confront you about it.

• "My love?" He knocked on the door to your room. You were in your pajamas getting ready for bed.

• "Yes?" You smiled softly at him.

• "We need to talk." Your face dropped. Elliott tended to have a way with words but he became far less eloquent under stress. "Not in a we need to talk, my dear. Apologies." He cleared his throat,

• "I've noticed your. Ehm. Unusual? Eating habits?" And your face dropped more.

• "Oh Ellio-"

• "Hold on." He reached for your hand, cupping it between his. "I'm not upset with you. There is no reason to be. But I think I know what is going on, and I just want you to know. I am here for you. Alright, love? You can talk to me, and I can help. Food can become a stressor for the best of us. So you don't have to talk to me now, but just know I'm here for when you need."

• You met his hands with the one left on the bed. "I'm not sure if what your thinking is entirely accurate? But I suppose I should clarify." You took a deep breath, "I have anorexia. I've been managing it, at least what I thought was, pretty well. I didn't think you would notice, but I guess it was something I should tell you. I just.. I just didn't have control over much in my life when I worked for Joja. So food was a thing I could control! I thought it helped. But it didn't."

• You continued, "When I moved here, things genuinely became better! I have full control over my life. How I run the farm. My time, my pace. But I became so dependent on my food patterns for regulation that it was just a habbit I couldn't give up. So now here we are!" You let out a dry laugh.

• Elliott wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, despite his general dramatics.

• He knew that it was hard for you, but from what you said, you were working so hard on your own to help yourself.

• He reassured you that he would be there if you needed it, and tried to make sure you were eating a good amount of food everyday. But life continued on as normal for you two, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

An* so this was a deep one, I personally do not have anorexia but a lot of this still resonated with me for other reasons. Please reach out to either a doctor, family member, or friend if you think you have an eating disorder. They are serious business.

Also. I tried to make it accurate to anorexia but my knowledge isn't all encompassing, so it might have slipped into general eating disorder territory. So if it doesn't line up perfectly, I'm sorry about that- I also tried to not make it stereotypical but there may be a varying amount of success with that. Please lmk!!

Less serious an* I really wrote so much for Harvey I was not expecting to be able to write this much- Harvey's might as well have been it's own little fic from how long it was.

Masterlist

[m1zumono]

dean winchester and autism because this man is autistic and i will not accept otherwise:

his reaction to sam giving him the giant slinky at the end of 7x14 'plucky pennywhistle's magical menagerie'

actually physically stimming when he enters the bunker with sam in 15x14 'last holiday' and sees the christmas decorations

the boxing episode, 11x15 'beyond the mat', where dean spends the entire episode fanboying and (for lack of a better word) plays in the boxing ring

wearing the same thing (flannel, jeans, in earlier seasons the leather jacket) almost all of the time while not in disguise to work cases

eating the same thing (cheeseburger with extra onions or pie) at almost everywhere they go, as often as he can (about dean winchester and food, i could talk about that for hours he has so many issues with it and it's all john winchester's fault)

his ability to recite movies line for line, and his tendency to communicate almost entirely through references and movie quotes, and expecting people to understand what he means

about references, he makes jokes and references when it's not appropriate, he doesn't understand that something isn't appropriate in a situation where it isn't specifically pointed out to him, and he generally has a pretty messed up sense of empathy and inability to 'read the room'

‘you’re always calling me a geek, but you know every word to every led zeppelin song, backwards and forwards. you can discuss in detail every major rock drummer between ’67 and ’84… and you watch ‘jeopardy!’ every night.’ - directly quoted from sam winchester in 14x20 'moriah'

in 13x06 'tombstone' when they go into the motel and dean talks about the cowboys, identifying all of them and going into quite a bit of detail about a few of them, even though nobody asked him about it and he is absolutely infodumping. 'he really likes cowboys.' 'yes. yes, he does.'

his knowledge of cars, particularly baby, and how he takes her for a ride when he's sad because of the comfort she provides him. also about baby and comfort, the way he offers to let people drive baby when he realises that they're sad, thinking it'll make them feel better as she makes him happy and he doesn't understand how else to help

in 1x03 'dead in the water' he talks to lucas about how he didn't speak as a kid, he plays with the toy soldiers and it doesn't come across as playing with them to make lucas trust him, it actually comes across as him finding genuine enjoyment in it

in 1x15 'the benders' when he's talking to the kid who mentions godzilla, dean brightens immediately and goes off topic talking about his favourite godzilla film, and has to be reminded that he's working a case by sam

the entirety of 14x04 'mint condition', how dean gets to express his interests and be himself and how a lot of people have mentioned that he seems to be genuinely himself in that episode instead of the act he puts on

larping with charlie, no explanation needed

he shuts down when things go badly, often blasting music and ignoring everything and everyone around him

he always picks scissors when playing rock, paper, scissors, and it's actually something that comes up multiple times within the show - in 2x17 'heart', sam says, 'dean, always with the scissors,' and along the same lines, his excitement both times he actually wins the game

in 1x04 'phantom traveller', dean is terrified because of the plane and sam points out that he's humming metallica. he replies that it calms him down, and that just seems very autistic

[yellowcry]

School in Encanto!

You all know it's time to headcanon!

The education in Encanto isn't essentially great. As it found by the bunch of refugees without good supplies.

Kids up to one-two years gap in age sometimes can be put in the same class. It mostly depends on how many children were born during this year. If there's just a few, they would be put with another class to save up space and people to educate them. It was especially evident in the early years. As for the first ten years or so childbirth had really low rate until the village had actually set.

In the opposite side, if too many kids were born in one year and class doesn't have enough supplie for them all, the eldest can be sometimes put into the older group, or yongest of generation can be put into younger.

Boys and gurls tend to be put in the opposite sides of the classroom.

The school does learn the basic of Arithmetics, Spanish. For History kids for the more part focused on learning about Latin America and Colombia specifically. Same goes for geography, which is hugely focused on Encanto as well. They do learn about other parts of the world too, but it's often shallow and doesn't get much attention. As living in a closed village with no exiting way out makes information about other climat types and geography relatively useless aside from general development.

For the bigger part, Encanto school is focused on practical skills for everyday use. Sewing, cooking, how to fix broken things or take care of the animals. It doesn't come to the professional level, but is solely enough to survive on their own even if their parents don't teach them anything (which they almost always do) as these are somethings you need to survive.

In general, school isn't obligatory, but is heavily encorauged to get your kids into. If for some reason kid doesn't go at school, they would be visited from time to time. To check their intellectual development. If it turns out they lack some basic knowledge, such as arithmetics, Latin America geography or a proper level of Spanish (and most others) they will be forced to visit classes.

A good shred of Catholic education too. Both at school and after Sunday service. Religion had important role in the time. And even outside from classes focused of in it, most time different aspects of reality are explained with Bible perspective.

Madrigal specifics headcanons

Gifted Madrigals are allowed to skip school when it comes to using their gifts to help the community. They are technically requested to complete tasks later. But most people just let them slide.

Isabela probably wasn't the best student in her time. Not essentially bad, but she was much interested in more stuff. Plus the pressure as the first born grandkid and the pretty Madrigal. Alma took her out of school in the last years to focus Isabela primarly on her future role as the leader of Encanto. Which Isabela was surprisingly good at, as she's a very natural leader. Also, Isabela sucks with deadlines. Hugely because of pressure to he perfect. She spends a tupid amount of time making a perfect cover/beginning and at the night before the dew day realises the has about two million more pages to write.

Dolores is far better than Isabela. More patient and reversed. And Dolores in generally smart. Her hearing also helps her with being observant of what the teacher is saying. However she definitely ruined lections several times. Just because she heard something interesting and couldn't keep her mouth shut about it. When Isabela left, Dolores pretty much stopped visiting most of lections/non-practical classes. However she still listened to them and kept the notes that she showed to her teacher so nobody concinderedered her as dropout. And if Dolores thinks today's topic is extremely interesting, it would be completely normal to see her sneaking in at the middle of lecture like there's nothing wrong with it.

Luisa is coming closer to Isabela. Pretty restless and prefers physical activity. Also you do know who would have the most chores to skip school. No, of course she wasn't absent completely, but it happened more often than with the other kids. But if Luisa locks in then she locks in and you will never pull her off the books. Also as complete opposite of her sister, Luisa is always going her homework exactly the same day. Workaholism doesn't like when she slacks off her responsibilities.

Camilo is extremely outgoing/social. Is definitely the type that comes in school to talk with his friends. And then it depends on who is in today and who is not. Also pretty restless but in more outgoing way than Luisa. Likes chatting a lot and definitely interrupts teacher a lot by accident. Would extremely take his sister/older cousins old assigments and copy them. He's honestly not a big fan of school so well.

Mirabel is considered the most talented student among the grandkids. Which she usually dismisses as not a big achievement, feels that because she never has to miss anything to help the communituy she will be privileged here. She really overdoes it to make up for the lack of gift she has, tends.to perfectionism the same way Isabela was. Only that Mirabel actually spends her time correctly and it's all decent and not rushed everywhere. Plus, Mirabel is very observant and patient, which also makes her get many clues and understand the pattern of the things she learns simular to Dolores. Secretly enjoys when teachers are praising her as it's one of the little amount of attention she gets, especially being noticed by someone outside of her family.

[riftdancing]

𝑴𝒊𝒉𝒍𝒊 𝑴𝒊𝒉𝒈𝒐 : 𝑺𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒉 𝒐𝒓 𝑷𝒂𝒔𝒔?

Quick Facts:

Height: 4'9"

Age: 26

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns: She/Her

Pros:

You will never be bored again. Mihli has an adventurous spirit full of wanderlust and wonder. It's incredibly hard for her to stay in one place and she's always looking to dabble in new experiences. This is of course unless she's settled into her favorite cozy window nook with a good book.

Much like adventure Mihli craves knowledge. When she's not galivanting around as a courier for Firelight Trading Company, her nose is often stuck in a book. But being both street and book smart has a lot of advantages. Mihli is a wealth of information, and often has the answers to many questions. Think of her like a walking, talking Encyclopedia Eorzea. She is also well versed in several languages.

Despite her love of being out in the world Mihli is a very hard worker who strives to pay back or pay forward whatever good has been passed on to her. A great example of this is when Mihli and Lysander met, she wound up earning her board (living under his roof) by volunteering to take care of his home (which was in shambles).

She's not a chef, but she's a great home cook and some of her homemade dishes will definitely win over a hungry soul.

Mihli will always do her best to be there when you need her, but never over step into your affairs. She does her best to not cast judgement and offer a safe and comfortable space for those in need of help.

Cons:

She requires a lot of attention. And I mean a LOT of attention. Mihli's partner, Lysander is often victim to her shenanigans which includes her sprawling out over his paperwork and research if he does not pay enough attention to her.

While she won't pry into your affairs, Mihli does struggle with boundaries and personal space. She'll want to be in the middle of everything, much like a feral cat. Doing chores? She's getting in the middle of it. Trying to work? She's either trying to help or getting in the middle of it. Going somewhere? ...there's a crimson haired cat girl blindly following after you. Mihli always wants to be involved and sometimes or depending on the person, this is to a detriment.

The memories of her old life are still a bit fuzzy. She's reclaimed most of it, but sometimes she'll find herself frustrated by a foggy lack of detail. She'll have nightmares about her old life, but find herself even more unnerved and frustrated when she wakes up and struggles to remember what so vivid in her dream world just moments before she opened her eyes.

Reading Fixations. If she finds a topic which is particularly fascinating to her, its almost impossible to get her out of the house and her nose out of that subject until she's consumed enough material to be satisfied. This means she can spend up to a week in her book nook completely invested in the pages and forgetting to care for herself, and sometimes those in her home.

Will not and does not keep up with her doctors appointments. This is in part because she's terrified of her Doctor, Shiro, but also just because she hates check ups and medication in general. Lysander also struggles to help Mihli stay medicated. ...Imagine trying to medicate a feral stray cat. That's what it's like trying to get her to take her meds.

Extra Details:

Sexuality: Ultimately, Mihli is a brat. At heart, she's realized she's a submissive who enjoys giving up control after living a life where she's had to be in control and accountable for so long, but only to the right person. She's also a touch starved tsundere who no matter how much touch affection she receives, will never be fully satisfied, but will be angry that you're giving it to her.

Romantically: Mihli just wants to be loved. She doesn't need to hear it, she just needs to know it in her heart. Despite being tsundere about receiving affection, she craves giving it and her love language comes in many colorful and plentiful forms.

So, tell me...

[max1461]

I think I just love people and I love the things that people do.

I've said this before, but I don't really like the notion of culture-the-count-noun, "cultures" as discrete entities. Rather, I think of culture broadly as the whole body of human practices, institutions, and ideas. Naturally, many of these institutions and practices are geographically or socially localized, but always in ways that have fuzzy and ever-shifting boundaries. Culture is just "the things that people do".

But, you see, what I want to stress here is I am fundamentally, at my core, filled with love for the things that people do, and filled with love for and excitement over the world we make together. I am obviously well aware that human society is imperfect, that there is injustice, and so on, but... I'm not quite sure how to articulate this, surely that fact is "secondary"? Surely what is wrong with injustice is that it is a stain on an otherwise wonderful world? If the world was nasty to its core, I don't really think I could get so worked up over injustice. Injustice is bad because life is full joy if we're allowed to access it, the things that humans do and make ("culture") are in general wonderful and joyous things, often marred as they are by the imperfection of the world.

Food is a good example. There is, at the end of the day, no way that I can justify the mass consumption of meat in the present world. I value the lives of animals and so, in some sense, meat consumption is an abomination to me. But when I look at cuisine, broadly, which in most regions of the world does feature meat... I mean, I love cuisine! I love how it tastes, I love the passion people show for cooking it, I love the way it brings people together. These are clichés but they are true, this is in fact the nature of things. Food is endlessly fascinating, endlessly exciting and subtle to the senses; food is an example of human culture, that is to say human activity, at its absolute finest. And yet it is, in the present world, inextricably linked to the slaughter of animals, something I regard as deeply and utterly heinous.

You can have two responses to this. On the one hand, you can disavow all the joys of food, at least food connected to this slaughter, you can become hardened to its joys and hateful of it. I regard this as unambiguously the wrong choice. On the other hand you can... hope for something better? For instance, I hope that one day in the not too distant future, artificially grown meat will allow meat-based cuisine to exist without the killing of animals. And... well, if I was faced today with a button that said "turn everyone on earth into a vegan, thereby bringing about an end to animal slaughter but also to humanity's collective knowledge and practice of meat-based cookery, to all local specialties and family recipes and subtle techniques featuring meat that have not been thoroughly documented", I think I would probably feel I had to press the button. But I would be devastated by doing so. I would regard it as a tragedy of extreme proportions, necessary only to prevent a much greater evil.

I sometimes encounter people, not just with respect to meat but with respect to a variety of topics, who would gladly, enthusiastically, without hesitation push that button. Who would relish the opportunity to cleanse the world once and for all of its imperfections. I regard this attitude as antithetical to almost everything I stand for.

This post was a bit rambling but I think I've made my point.