#offended-puns

[homestuckconfession]

the concept of the slur replacement project feels a bit like historical revisionism? especially considering how much i see people recommend it as the recommended way of reading homestuck. it's sanitizing down the more unpalatable bits of homestuck to make it seem more friendly and wholesome (which seems incredibly common among homestuck fans in general, especially among those who like to pretend the epilogues never happened, which is a whole other discussion i won't get into rn), and that just feels weird. not to mention the execution of it is very poor in general. the "future arachnids grip" joke is funny actually, and the change they made to make it "later arachnids grip" not only makes it a weaker joke (as it was initially a play on how the concept of gayness isn't really a thing to trolls), but also introduces an inconsistency in the writing, as it only does this change for vriska, drawing more attention to it. there's also a fucking... random bit where iirc for one line they replace a mention of bill cosby with... gnomeo and juliet? i think? which is not only a baffling decision that they don't, but is technically introducing an anachronism because that movie didn't come out until 2011. the writing they used to replace things in general just doesn't feel very homestuck-y, and it always feels clunky and awkward.

.

[beaft]

i no longer trust any of the books on the bestseller list tbh. the only books i read now are the ones recommended to me either by friends or by gay people on the internet

[i-hear-a-sound]

i love v9’s message. “you are enough.” you are enough. oh, unless you’re disabled. oh, unless you’re a minority. oh, unless you’re traumatized and you show it negatively. oh, unless you’re in a bad mental spot and you show it negatively. you are enough, unless you’re not palatable enough. then you’d better take your life and hope some deus ex machina fixes you so you don’t have problems anymore. can you tell how much I love this volume guys?? THIS WAS A GREAT VOLUME TO AIR WHILE MY MENTAL HEALTH WAS AT ITS WORST 😁😁😁😁

[fumblingmusings]

Imagining a young Arthur thinking the Normans are irredeemable doomed for hell monsters from the moment they killed King Harold, made the heir Edgar and his sisters flee, wrecked Arthur's language and broke his legal systems, made 10% of his country a wasteland, killed over 100,000 of his people by starving them to death and leaving them freeze... All that horror from William I and II...

But then Henry I becomes King. He was born in Selby, not Normandy. He was a fourth son (like Arthur), set to inherit nothing and isn't trusted by any of his older brothers. He just maybe happens to be there with one of the said brothers is killed in a hunting accident (oh no....) and becomes King. He marries Edith, the daughter of Arthur's last Anglo-Saxon princess, ensuring that Alfred the Great's bloodline lives on. He uses the Anglo-Saxon justice and taxation system because it's still better than anything Norman. He puts Englishmen back in positions of government and the Church. Henry and Edith called their daughter Matilda aethelic when in private and gave their son William an Anglo-Saxon title of aethling... Those imported Norman aristocrats mocked them for it calling them 'Godric and Godifu' - that foolish King and Queen pretending to be lesser than. Playing at being English and not Norman.

But it works. Arthur and England are at peace for the first time in... a long, long long time. Yes northern France is a nightmare but what does Arthur care for that. These guys are stamping out slavery and serfdom... That's pretty stupendous. Plus, his way of life is winning out long term, not the Norman. At least, that's what he tells himself.

And having the thought that maybe his people and culture won't be as wiped out by this King playing politics in order to carve out his own space distinct from his brothers... little Arthur sees a little bit too much of himself in this guy. Only for Henry's only son to drown on a crossing from France back to England (trying to save his sister oh my God) and then it just sets the stage for the Anarchy upon Henry's death because god forbid Matilda is Queen like...

Point is I can see Arthur just going full on fuck it once Henry II becomes King (like what was the point of it all if Matilda's son was going to be King anyway). I like to think of it as the turning point from where he's a somewhat put upon forgotten about rainy droopy island that Vikings keep plundering to a nightmare himself. That desperation to prove himself, to be worth something, to take all that grief and pain and make it someone else's problem. It takes him 100 years after the invasion, but that's the point when the Arthur who used to hide in the woods from Denmark and Scotland disappears, and instead you get the Arthur who's... a bit of a giant hypocrite. And looks the other way.

The forcing a language on a population, the replacing the ruling class with loyal people, the leaving just enough of the old systems of government in place for purely pragmatic purposes, the use of scorched earth tactics if need be. Sometimes it feels like nothing changes.

What happened to him was wrong and yet what does England do to others for so long? I like the idea of an Arthur who learnt the wrong lessons from that invasion and thinks he was weak when it happened. Because to think otherwise would be to realise he'd done nothing wrong, and to realise that he was a victim.

And that's something Arthur just cannot be.

[hobbithabits]

Reading Star Trek fanfiction, as everyone should, and got to thinking about replicators and space diets. Spock is often referred to as vegan/vegetarian (I actually have no clue if that’s canon or not) which is like just a Vulcan thing, they all have similar diets, but since all starship food is made by a replicator, would the ethics of being vegan even come into play? They aren’t harming any animals or natural life by eating reconstituted meals, because all of their required nutrients are added by a replicator or by supplements. Of course, I don’t think Spock would just start eating meat or anything because it was never part of his diet and could easily cause him some digestive harm or whatever (space allergies?) and there’s plenty other reasons to be vegan or vegetarian, but. Would being vegan for ethical reasons even matter?

Just some FOOD for thought ( •ॢ◡-ॢ)

[rayfishandchips]

screw your zodiac sign and mbti type who's your fav stand-up comedian

believe it or not this actually kinda make sense

like I have 2 irl friends and we three have different stadup favs. Seems to correspond to personality a bit.

of course the practical realistic guy likes jokes about his own identity, the friendly chaotic girl likes witty energetic puns, and the extrovert daydreaming nerd likes the internet meme generator

[frosty-tian]

Last Ramble before Work:

Only heard it from other sources, but same Japanese mutual confirmed that the order of characters in a ship name is also meant to show the character’s role in the relationship (top and bottom). I’m not sure about ‘switches’ or those who don’t fit the categories, but it appears that they’re non-existent.

Quite good to know, because it can actually be a sensitive subject in fanbases (Eastern ones in particular).

[lolly-dolli]

I'm sending you this to make you talk about Beezy on your tumblr. Inflict him upon the internet for me, I love him, give me the clownboy

Oh no

Alright motherfucker, prepare to unleash the most normal of Azzy's adult siblings (well. Minus Levi but she still has terrible anxiety and DOES want to kill a man but it's only the one guy and everyone hates him)

Content warning for uuuh....I guess murder and cannibalism are the worst Beezy has in his backstory? He's not really all that fucked up over the antichrist bit mostly just relieved he has The Shakies from what species he is and on account of he has a brain disorder

Beatrice/Beelzebub (because his pa just renames all his kids, he reckons), is a Funny Little Guy who is pretty nice once you get past his unsettlingly sharp teeth (you're pretty sure he has more than one row somehow...?), tall, wiry frame and the whole...cannibalism part.

This is probably owed to the fact that, in his own words, "his ma raised him right."

Beezy was born the Prince of Gluttony in a cozy little encampment in the Great Smoky Mountains of North Carolina with a full he'd of baker-miller pink hair and a full set of teeth. His Ma is the matriarch of a family of pig farmers who, in the warmer months, enjoy hunting the...longer variety of pig, if you catch my drift; and his father, as far as he knows, was some stiff in a three-piece suit who was the one that got away. Literally!

She was apparently so impressed at this man's ability to navigate the woods at night despite his highly impractical attire and straight-up refusal to die that taunting turned to banter turned to flirting, and to her surprise, he accepted. The rest was history, including...whatever that kind of relationship was called was by morning. She said it wouldn't've worked out long-term, though, so no skin off her back.

Nine months later, Beezy came into the world, and his Ma was apparently so tired of waiting for a girl to name after her great-great-grandma that she just decided "y'know what? Everything about this kid is weird already and we ain't the sorta people t' judge. His name's Beatrice."

This would set the tone for the rest of Beezy's life.

Beezy's species technically doesn't have a name - what they're called tends to align with whatever local folklore they line up best with, because for the most part, they read as feral to other demons and any human unfortunate enough to walk into the territory of a hungry one.

Azzy would call him a Fae, but Beezy would probably prefer the term Rougarou, on account a' fairies only sometimes eat people, and that's what his family called them growing up.

He's actually the most socialized one of him known to demon society, and probably the most well-fed despite the number of ribs one can see through his skin.

His species has a notoriously high metabolism, meaning they tend to be opportunistic predators and take whatever they can get, and they simply have very little time to socialize--so little that most of their language is nonverbal, as they tend to be solitary and nomadic in lifestyle. Most are actually, contrary to popular belief, omnivorous, but gathering is a lot less quick than hunting.

Because Beezy has access to a regular supply of food, his status as a carnivore is more a choice than anything else. Azzy is working on changing that, though their other brother Andy have had more luck since fruit is at least sweet, and it's very hard to convince a nineteen year old that scurvy is something he can actually get outright rather than hiding vegetables in a smoothie.

He's a big fan of sweets.

His family ingrained in him the belief that it's important not to waste food (being as they live pretty off the grid), and he likes making "people sweets" with rendered fat and ligaments (don't accept candy from him unless you want to find out what gelatin made from a person tastes like).

He didn't meet his siblings until very recently, and was just kind of dropped into the Hellbound Antichrist Pile by his father in hopes of kickstarting the battle royale that is deciding an heir after being told he was going to come stay with him for a bit and meet his family.

Unluckily for Satan, the average Beezy-Azzy argument looks more like this than it does any sort of actual bloodbath.

Azzy is constantly playing 5D chess with anyone he doesn't fully trust (and sometimes even them too), and Beezy is actually pretty emotionally intelligent for a hick in clown makeup, so he thinks it's funniest to respond by Bugs Bunnying him about it.

Despite this, they genuinely do care about each other a lot, Azzy will just...never admit it outright. Instead he'll tell Beezy to stop nibbling the skin on his fingertips raw and make him wear a pair of gloves he made him which he made sure will match his outfit, so put on the gloves before you give yourself an infection, Beezy.

Beezy is like a human demon knifecat in teasingly saying that Azzy does love him.

He'll then proceed to very earnestly play devil's advocate against factory farming as a practice to piss Azzy off, and the cycle repeats. Such is life

[lieutenant-amuel]

I’m editing the old chapters of WBTL again. The fourth chapter, and oh my goodness Ángel is so insensitive, it’s insane.

[the-crafting-gremlin]

I love my coworkers so much. (For many reasons, including that they're all genuinely pretty good people, open and accepting, and funny.)

One of them and her husband are going to a metal concert this weekend, and it turns out that our manager is going with his oldest daughter because they're also fans of this band. The one coworker commented that she wonders what people must think when they hear about the different concerts she's gone to this year since its kind of a weird variety--an old folky-country singer who's mostly only popular with older people (in their mid 50's and up; she and her sister were the youngest there by quite a bit, in their late 20's and early 30's respectively), Taylor Swift, and now a metal band.

Another coworker piped up, "That's why I like you; your music tastes are eclectic. You're poly-jam-orous!"

I about died laughing, y'all. Her pun game is on point, as usual.

[starman-john-tracy]

You may be old, but you rocket! 🚀

[thesupernaturalhouse]

I don't think Leo likes mint lol

He also buried it with the carpet, then I uncovered it and he jsut came back over and tried it again-

[frog-with-no-therapy]

Guys guys remember the villain scientist peter parker au I was and still talk about??

Cause it got too big in my head and all, and I even know that if this au have any kind of hope of making it out there, it has to have miles morales in it

Like, it has to start with him meeting peter and his view about peter and what he does

The story may not focus much about him later on, but it has to start with him

It also has to have peter starting off annoyed a bit and stand offish around him, to then becoming some kind of mentor that helps him out from time to time and make him gadgets and suits

Then they will have something of a sibling relationship, and miles will be the one who slowly but surely gets peter to open up

It has to be him. Felecia is mostly trying to keep peter alive and healthy (seriously this guy have the food habits of a five year old) and their relationship is like, when you have this best friend you don't see for months yet still get along with whenever they show up and it feels like you met just yesterday, that kind of thing

Him and Johnny at this point are just annoyed at each other, with Johnny trying to prove himself more as a hero, and peter just going on occasionally blowing stuff up or trying his new inventions (as non-lethally as possible)

So, like, yeah he would be something of a friend to peter later on but not now

I think it's important for miles to be there, because when he is there peter is forced to take care of him and be a "good role example" for him, which means he will have to take care of himself

Anyway there are so many ideas going on in my mind about this au it's ridiculous. Someone please just write it already

[dragonsfell]

[ INBOX / always accepting ] - @architaciturn - ❝ rest now. you don’t have to fight any more. ❞ (For Cal, from Gale. - architaciturn)

Vitriol wants to spit from her fang, a loud shout or perhaps a mighty roar while ice leak from her fingers, clawing at everything. That ferocity at which she had displayed in their recent fights hadn't been like that of when the group that Gale had been traveling with had found her first. It wasn't entirely lost on Caledonia the looks of some for the way she'd get now; she didn't fight like a sorcerer or the other mage, she fought like blind beast. Anything reach at risk of an ice shard blasted into one's chest.

A concern arose that it may be her tadpole affecting her, ceremorophosis taking place but it wasn't the case. A danger, a risk, and she wound up hurt with. Battered in the last fight, not just due to tossing herself into the front of the fray; but hurting herself in that action. Spells backfiring and lashing out with fists and staff, not being careful with her swings. She's still on edge, distance herself from the others and not to hear any squabbles of what next as whole over this rotten mind flayer plot and she swore she heard her name mentioned with a glance weary toward her.

Caledonia's spent, in bad need of healing that she's already rejected, and half a thought to take off on her own. Equally ready to argue with the rest, fight and snap at their heads. It'd be unwise, but there's ugly side spawned from a veil of forgotten everything so she didn't know how to explain. All she could say was today made her angry, and then scared and sad. But she rather feel the anger than the other two, rather be fine and move forward. This all had to be fine, right?

Gale's the first to approach her in her skulking, ❝ Rest? Hmm! ❞ She sounds appalled on the word, but her shoulders gives away to that exhaustion and she doesn't want to see that state she must be in anyways. ❝ I can't explain it, 'kay? It's... ❞ A sharp nailed hand raises, waves and makes some vague gesture unable to grasp the words to say. ❝ Whatever. I'm chilled now. ❞

[emacrow]

This sound like a good way to add the phantom group being roped into this.

It was tucker insisting on danny to come with him even got him a costume from the ghost seamstress while tucker was trying to haggle for that very rare mint condition Girl Robin.

Only to get dragged into a robin competition and won first place somehow due to some clown in a purple suit interrupting when it was his turn..

He blamed his inherit clown phobia thank to freakshow..

He did end up getting 20k out of this and a nice trophy after he snuck away from other people in various of robins costume asking how he made his costume so life like.

Meeting up with tucker whom holding bags upon bags of new merch that he looks so smugged face about. Danny can practically feels eyes on his back as if there was a fruitloop here.

"Danny, you should've seen what happen earlier there was some guy dressed in a really good bat-" tucker was interrupted by Danny dragging him out of the robin con place

"We are done here, Tucker. I can feel the fruitloop is nearby here." Danny said as he inward shudder.

Batman loses Robin at a Robin cosplay competition that's being used as a money laundering operation.

"Robin--" Bruce took in the many, many Robins around him. He can barely hear anything over the comms because of the noise.

Intercom moments later: "Richard, uh, who is also successfully cosplaying as Robin, your dad would like you to meet him by the water fountain in the east corner thanks."

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Not only do I prefer the demo version musically, but lyrically it seems more cohesive than the studio version.

Like, omg no, why did he get rid of this verse (which, upon a bit of research, because I'm not a songwriter, I believe is actually the bridge!):

"I never dream of times like these When all my time is never free And every tear drawn face we see Is hung on you and me"

It's absolutely related to the rest of the song!!! Hello!!!? (I also love the commentary of "When all my time is never free"...it's very "Belief in the Small Man" to me, in terms of thematic similarities and how Big Country progressed as a band and still retained their values in their music.) The next part of the bridge (unless it's considered an entirely separate bridge...I'm not a songwriter, as I already mentioned, so I do not know!) doesn't fit quite as well to me, though, even though conceptually I love it and I'm curious if Stuart Adamson ever reused it for another song.

Anyway, I also love this demo version lyrically because, as compared to the studio version which is very 'Hello yes I'm putting all of my emotional baggage on you* and I can only be happy if you accept it without expecting any reciprocity from me...thank' but THE DEMO VERSION'S LYRICS NOTABLY DO NOT DO THAT!

*Whether he's talking about a partner or his homeland/country and countrymen, it's still kind of manipulative to me because, again, he makes no mention of 'If you do this for me, I'll do it back on your behalf,' so that's SHITTY! 😞 And it is, in fact, the opposite example of why I love "Wonderland" so much! So that makes the studio version of "I Could Be Happy Here" feel regressive. 🙃

Although I personally do not get what in the hell he meant by "If you could take my pride/If you could take my tears/If you could take my side/If you could take my fears/If you could turn the tide/You could be happy here" because that sounds like 'Here's my emotional baggage; NOW YOU CAN BE HAPPY [WITH IT]'???????????????? I'm sorry, WHAT. Hm...I guess it's just a good thing that was scrapped from the studio version, because, um, yeah...what. YIKES.

But after that bizarre verse, he gives us both of these verses:

"I will take my love I will take my stand I will be the one I will show my hand I will never run I will be happy here"

(Finally, a bitch takes responsibility! Good - THANK YOU!) And:

"We’re gonna use our love We’re gonna take a stand We’re gonna be the one We’re gonna show our hand We’re gonna never run We are happy here We can be happy here"

So he's not only taking responsibility, but it's implied that he shares it equally - and whether that's in a hopeful and hypothetical way or whether it's active (I could see it both ways, personally), the important thing is that it's still an equal effort. Yes, that fucking matters! Also, I'm intrigued by the first time he changes the verb type in the last lines of the verses "could/will" from a modal verb to a supporting verb "are" in the line "We are happy here"; it's the first time he switches from uncertainty with "could/will" to absolute, present tense certainty of "we are" (although to me it loses a lot of its power when he immediately returns to the modal verb of "we can")...I'm not sure why he did that, except that "we are" happens to follow the pattern of the rest of the "we're" contractions in the verse's anaphora (which I had to look up as I am very much not an expert in poetry - it's the practice of word or phrase repetition at the beginning of a group of poetic lines), but then to not only break the anaphora but return to the hypothetical context of so much of the rest of the song feels like a letdown! Oh, well - at least the final verse brings back the supporting verb of "are" for "And we are happy here" as the final two lines! :') So that's something to look forward to, literally, in the rest of the song.