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#which is very weird to peter
frog-with-no-therapy · 4 months
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Guys guys remember the villain scientist peter parker au I was and still talk about??
Cause it got too big in my head and all, and I even know that if this au have any kind of hope of making it out there, it has to have miles morales in it
Like, it has to start with him meeting peter and his view about peter and what he does
The story may not focus much about him later on, but it has to start with him
It also has to have peter starting off annoyed a bit and stand offish around him, to then becoming some kind of mentor that helps him out from time to time and make him gadgets and suits
Then they will have something of a sibling relationship, and miles will be the one who slowly but surely gets peter to open up
It has to be him. Felecia is mostly trying to keep peter alive and healthy (seriously this guy have the food habits of a five year old) and their relationship is like, when you have this best friend you don't see for months yet still get along with whenever they show up and it feels like you met just yesterday, that kind of thing
Him and Johnny at this point are just annoyed at each other, with Johnny trying to prove himself more as a hero, and peter just going on occasionally blowing stuff up or trying his new inventions (as non-lethally as possible)
So, like, yeah he would be something of a friend to peter later on but not now
I think it's important for miles to be there, because when he is there peter is forced to take care of him and be a "good role example" for him, which means he will have to take care of himself
Anyway there are so many ideas going on in my mind about this au it's ridiculous. Someone please just write it already
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mayasaura · 1 year
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There's a weird kind of tension I feel being in the Locked Tomb fandom without being Christian. Especially having grown up in a heavily Christian part of the world, constantly surrounded by pressure to convert.
I don't only mean the constant low grade cultural pressure underpinning daily life, though I mean that too. I mean I get accosted in the street by missionaries. I mean I was first told I was going to hell when I was four years old, by a babysitter who would only let me watch Veggie Tales. I've had a man handing out leaflets follow me around attempting to lay his hands on my head or shoulders while reciting what I think a Catholic friend later told me was called the Sinner's Prayer, cajoling me to repeat after him. My grandfather died after being unable to find a support group that wasn't rooted in the christian faith, and didn't therefore require him to violate his religious beliefs.
Which is all taking the long way around to saying I don't really vibe heavy with the series' christian subtext. I like to enjoy the story primarily through other lenses.
But at the same time the symbolism is there, and intentional, and doing a lot of very interesting things. So I am paying attention to it. I try to consider it an interesting mythological theme, like the classical Greek references. It usually works, but maintaining that distance can be a struggle.
I don't really have a conclusion here. It's just a weird place to be. The draw of wanting to connect the dots, to appreciate the intricate symbolic art, at war with... all that, and with the creeping anxiety that whispers: how much of a philosophy can you know before you get filled up with it? Is there ever a point where you are what you know, whether you want to be or not?
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spikeface · 2 years
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scott mccall x guts julia armfield
#scott mccall#teen wolf#usermem#this essay covers so much that is relevant to teen wolf#the theme of possession obviously touches on not just scott but also lydia/jackson/stiles/kira/mason#and the gendered violence was really good for lydia especially in my opinion#but i had to go with my boy scott! because!#what i was trying to gesture at with these quotes#and these poorly edited images#(WHY is tw so bad at light and HOW do people make gifs and edits look so beautiful seriously you're all so talented)#ahem anyway#the point is that scott's journey begins with the nightmare of the breached body#and then there's this thing inside him#and i thought about adding peter and gerard and deucalion and kate and theo#all of the people who try to possess him very literally#but what i really liked about this essay was the way it explored the innate monstrosity of your body#which the show explores through the lens of being a werewolf#there is something dark inside scott's body that wants out#and not just the weird black goo of werewolf healing!#to be a werewolf is to know something bad is going to happen#because you have a body because this is a horror movie#and it ties in too with scott's self harm#scott does harbor something inside him which wants to hurt him#and it's not just his own mortality or the raging supernatural beast he keeps on a leash#scott's body is forced to accommodate the inhuman when theo stabs him#but scott keeps the wound afterwards#and whatever is making him do that is something he harbors inside himself
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instinctsxbad · 1 year
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*scratching at the walls thinking about how no one has adapted Peter’s college arcs in a consistent and satisfying way.*
#coffee bean gang#spider-man#I was almost asleep but now I’m thinking about how there isn’t one piece of media out there that checks all the boxes#of adapting Peter in college + the coffee bean gang + doesn’t downsize the group or combine characters#+ does everyone in a decent way even if it’s not strictly comic accurate#raimi trilogy is one of the only ones that heads pretty quickly into the college era and also involves more than just gwen or mj#and as much as I like the films it does not handle the three of them in a way that scratches the itch for me#I mean for one it’s only Peter Harry and MJ. I like those three arguably the most but man the dynamic isn’t the same#especially bc Tobey’s Peter is much more serious and quiet/awkward with negative charisma (affectionately but still.)#MJ is mixed w Gwen’s personality which was disappointing to me bc I like MJ’s weird and super vibrant personality#and Harry loses some of the ‘kind of a sweet guy but very VERY fucked up’ and relies too heavily on Harry becoming the goblin for revenge#I sound super critical of the Raimi versions qhwjrjwkr I DO like them I do but it feels like completely alternate interps of the characters#most focus on spider-man’s origin which I totally get but also. Peter’s most interesting arcs happen in college#that’s why everyone has to adapt them into the high school years#(which they can do bc Peter was largely friendless during that time and was still fighting some truly d-tier guys#in between the forming of the famous spidey rogue gallery)#I mean I wouldn’t even complain if they chose to do the high school years and actually DID those instead of pasting the college arcs on it#I haven’t watch the 90s show but I want to— does Harry exist in that one bc I know they took out Gwen#at the risk of sounding like That kind of tssm fan. the closest we got to that dream was that show#bc they WERE gonna follow it into Peter’s college years and you could see them setting the gang up#it still fell into the ‘everyone is a childhood friend’ thing so the characters could all be there but it’s one of the most bearable ones
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sciderman · 1 year
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I did not know you wrote fics I’m truly living here
🫶
my fics are so delicious, you are SO lucky you get to experience them all for the very first time anon
#spideycablepool fic incoming... im devoting my ENTIRE saturday to finishing her. will not be thinking of anything else.#it's fuckigng. its freaking. 12k+ words. i don't know how it happened.#i never write fics that long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i just had a lot to say about nathan summers.#which is hilarious because nathan summers himself doesn't have a lot to say.#but he says some things. and i feel a lot about him actually.#i kind of really want to hold 9319 nathan summers in my hands and kiss his forehead. he's a nice boy. people don't know he's a nice boy.#he is pretty shitty too (all cables have to be) but he's a nice boy. and he loves a whole lot.#i hope people get as attached to 9319 nathan as i have suddenly become. i love him. i love him.#feeling a lot about him. like a lot. feeling a lot about his and peter's differences and similarities.#him and peter have a lot to talk about. like a lot.#i really really want all three of them to lie down and sit under the stars and have a soul-searching conversation.#obviously wade would dominate the convo and talk about very strange nonsense that doesn't make any sense.#so maybe peter and nate should distract him with a shiny toy of some kind so that peter and nathan can actually have a profound conversatio#but of course they'd both just love to listen to wade babble about nonsense . they love him. they love his voice. they love his weird ways.#what a simp circle. wade surrounded by two boys who just have Heart Eyes for him#and he acts so oblivious. like these guys aren't falling over themselves in love with him.
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mark hoffman womb scar keeps me up at night. literally is keeping me up at night. i am thinking about him laying in his bed (or jail cell) at night, touching the still healing wound, tracing his fingers along the ragged edges of the cut with the most sick, besotted expression.... he's got a scar from his cute angry little wifey in the PERFECT spot
GOING INSANE, meanwhile peter's staring at the mirror, eyes zero-ing on the visible scar on his throat. there's a fire to his gaze, an intensity that's framed by a deep frown. he's gripping the bathroom sink tight, knuckles white from the strain of stopping his own fingers from running across the scar as they so often do when he gets distracted— he's been making an effort not to, ever since he came to the same habit as thoughts of mark were sent scurrying away to the darker corners of his mind. his tie loosened and first couple buttons popped open; he'd told himself it was that same godforsaken claustrophobic sensation that now plagued him at the most inconvenient times, he needed a deep breath and to pretend all that FBI training really did do him any favors on controlling his temper instead of the weariness in his bones. but right here, forced to look at nothing but the droplets clinging to the harsh lines of his face and dripping down his chin, he's barely seeing a thing but the scarred tissue. feeling the pen in his hand. the knife. wondering....... how familiar it would feel, if his finger ran through the scar he left mark with. knowing the sick fuck, it hadn't healed properly because he wouldn't have left it alone. messing with his deranged contraptions, putting too much stress to his body and bleeding all over the rust-ridden metal.
......messing with the stitches, caressing the threads sinking into skin and holding the flesh together, soaking wet from the blood welling in a warning that barely registers to someone like hoffman. if peter closes his eyes, he'll be able to bring back the memory of meeting the man's gaze and finding it too fucking much. wide-eyed, the blue in them shone with passion he didn't want— the monster that's been crushing people's heads had looked directly into his eyes and gone lax in his grasp. welcoming. peter's throat itches.
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mariocki · 1 year
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A very brief turn by Frazer Hines, as stable hand Jem, in Peter Diamond's pilot for a proposed adventure series Lochinvar (1968). There was little interest in the pilot or any subsequent series, and ultimately the sole filmed episode was never transmitted - it survived in the hands of director/producer Diamond until his family donated the film stock to Kaleidoscope a few years ago.
#fave spotting#frazer hines#lochinvar#tv pilot#jamie mccrimmon#doctor who#classic doctor who#1968#peter diamond#an unusually small role for Frazer; he may not have been lead material‚ but he's barely onscreen 30 seconds here and was a well known tv#presence thanks to stints on Emergency Ward 10 and of course DW (which he was still starring in). possibly he did this as a favour to#Diamond; a ubiquitous stunt arranger and fight choreographer‚ this was Diamond's attempt at breaking out into production and direction but#he would have known Frazer from various jobs he'd done on DW (including Frazer's intro story The Highlanders‚ where Diamond had been fight#arranger as well as having a credited acting role as a sailor). this was shot around July '68 so presumably between Frazer's work on The#Mind Robber and The Invasion; apologies for the slightly weird stretcg effect on the pics but that's true of the materials themselves#strangely Lochinvar is not in 4:3 aspect‚ despite being quite definitely a tv pilot‚ but in a strangely unnatural widescreen as if the#masters were altered at some point in post production (perhaps for a potential cinema release as a support feature?). i can only conjecture#tho. unsurprisingly there's almost no info out there about this obscure tv film that sat in a rusty can for 50 years unseen.#also my immediate thought on reading about it was that the shooting dates Very Nearly coincide with The Mind Robber shooting#(nearly but not quite) and i excitedly wondered if maybe Frazer's infamous bout of chickenpox that saw him replaced for ep2 of that serial#had secretly been a little mischievous excuse to go away and have some fun playing with horses in Buckinghamshire... alas no#Diamond would reunite with Frazer (and Lochinvar co star Noel Coleman) for the following years The War Games where he'd again#be pulling double duty as fight arranger and (uncredited) actor. later in life he would end up doing a little more directing work for tv#but afaik the Peter Diamond Productions company that made this film never worked again
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caterpillarinacave · 6 months
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“Oh, you’ll fall” Thelma replied nonchalantly, as if that was somehow comforting “Quite embarrassingly, probably. And quite painfully at least a few times.”
“Ah. Well. ” Matthew cleared his throat uncomfortably, the mild sense of impending doom steadily building. “I suppose we best be going then?” 
Thelma smiled up at him, a darling sort of smile, the type that lit up half the room, so genuinely happy that Matthew decided whatever happened in the next hour - no matter how disastrous and or embarrassing - it would be worth it for that smile on his sister’s face.
-Post TLH WIP Snippet
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dolokhoded · 9 months
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simon peter is the funniest apostle to work with because in theory he's the most loyal, most by-the-book of the apostles so you'd expect him to be the most logical and collected one but 80% of his concerns (pre crucifixion then everything went downhill and they all died) are that he has a crush on every person he encounters
#🧅#im not religious just insane.jpg#true poly disaster. funniest shit ever.#cause yknow simon p's a fisherman he's married he's a very poster family man#and he loves his wife he really does. im not gonna make the only guy who's married fucking Hate his wife and want to like. go have gay sex#instead cause mlm good mlw bad. but he does have his. Issues. concerning how he views women#he's gonna work on that though i'm not leaving him like that don't worry. peter already knew the torah by heart probably for peter turning#to god meant learning how to respect women. and yknow people he considered 'ungodly' in general. to respect humanity as he respects god.#tee hee i love this arc. i love all of them but i dont ever rlly talk abt this one.#but anyways yes he does love his wife.#then some strange guy shows up while he's fishing and he's like follow me son of jonah i will make you a Fisher Of Men. and peter's like#TEE HEE OKAY JESUS i will come fish men with you.#which......okay....simon....... interesting that u wanted to do that..... with zero context....#and then cue weird thing with magdalene. which. they don't end up together by Any Means.#they hate each other. they have not spoken in a civil manner once. but they do have a weird bond between them than only aromantic people#can understand.#WHICH BTW i already knew there's a thin line between polyamory and aromanticism. but it really showed when while trying to#explore how peter experiences polyromanticism i found myself projecting a lot of my own aromanticism on him#(is polyromantic a correct term? i'm not sure these terms really confuse me especially considering the time period cause like. polyamorous#describes a relationship with multiple people which peter obviously wasn't in in 30 AD. but he Did have romantic feelings for multiple#people so is that polyromanticism? or is that a completely different term? idk. bare with me.)#very interesting. anyways yeah there's that. magdalene is aro also to me. so yeah this is one of the most fun dymanics i have in this lore#cause like. polyromantic person and aromantic person somehow having the same mutual not platonic not romantic but a secret third thing#connection with each other. i love thinking about them
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manicpixiefelix · 8 months
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Took a nap in the middle of the day and had the most bizarre series of dreams, some were in fact nightmares, HOWEVER Ollie and Felix were in the last one??? Felix Catton continues to be the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my conscious or unconscious life???? All I got was one of the best and most real feeling kisses I've ever had in a dream, and I'm so mad I woke up. :(
cannot escape Saltburn or the Felix/Reader/Oliver fantasies even while asleep it seems...
(my tags are for posterity lol sorry but if you wanna read the full dream go right ahead. I reached the tag limit but all that was left was essentially the main text of this post lol)
#i will say the early part of the dream was very different. i Was jason momoa for a while there. also a child. also maybe peacemaker#evan Peters as magneto was tearing apart school buses and children and also he fucked my (whoever i was as jason momoa) mom which i saw??#then there was two of me (jason momoa)?? he also may have become peacemaker i might be misremembering. we were in the jungle#no metal so he wasnt a threat#except he was peacemaker and i (artie the writer in the body of jason momoa) am not a good fighter and he bullied me for it. womp womp#then we were saved by a tribe of superheroes who lived in the jungle and were definitely pitting us against each other#but i wasnt Jason momoa anymore except i was when i was swinging through the jungle like george of the jungle#but i was me when i got to the beach and started swimming and hunting for food and shoving every random piece of food into my mouth#except the eel which i was told i had to cook 😞#cooked the eel over a tealight at the beach camp/tribe which i was apparently part of even though i was meant to have been with the forest#also spoke to some irl collegues from the festivals i worked at last year and aparently as an 'initiate' to the tribe i and the others#have to find a place to sleep in the open#also that theres some kind of game???? some weird game that happens with the forest tribe initiates???? like hide and seek#and we on the beach only have a set time to prepare#immediately me and the rest of the beach initiates are like Get Fukt were not sleeping on the sand and gravitate towards#the weird warehouse based playground?? that was there for some reason?? and had so many security cameras??? what was my mind doing honestly#its under cover but the two other initiates im close to now dont feel like its secure enough to not be found#also the hide and seek aspect now has sinister undertones for those doing the hiding it seems. its more nightmare again#im a very awkward person irl with touch (its the autism lol) so it was big of me to hold hands with this dude#because we were running out of time to hide and i was afraiddddd#for the record i shouldnt have been lmfao#ANYWAYS idk when or who gives me the tip that i should hide on the other side of these weird black bed frame situations#but im assured by a girl i went to uni with (maddy i lov u thanks for cameoing in my dream???) that it works???#so im squeezed up in the corner behind this loft bedframe and it turns out the hiders can see like it's a sunny daytime#seekers are going around in the dark#makes it much less spooky#also it means i just got to watch fi and ollie (and others) being hot and essentially hunting people down#(hm do i have a thing for predator/prey dynamics??? that's future arties problem to think about)#the point is fi and ollie find my friend maddy#who is just in front of me but i duck out of their grasp consistently but they're weirdly persistent so much that even maddy comments on it
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androcola · 9 months
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i still remeber when someone vagued me on a monke.es confession account saying that i was romanticizing abuse(Several of my followers and moots then came out and were like That Simply Isnt True) and i think that really changed the way i talk about my headcanons
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yeah I mean he probably isn’t bothered and does expect it but it’s kinda annoying that it’s expected in the first place I guess. I know that’s the celebrity way but honestly the way some people act around famous people sometimes is so weird to me (just speaking in general, not calling those girls out or anything it seemed pretty chill and nbd but yeah)
yeah I get what you mean. I mean I'm gonna be honest I can't imagine dan from bastille gets stopped a ton lol.
idk I have loads of opinions about fan/celeb interactions and I think the main issue is when people genuinely feeling like a celeb is their friend or that they're kind of in on fandom jokes etc. like its always gonna be a weird dynamic when person a thinks they know person b really well and to them person a is a literal stranger, but i think as long as people respect boundaries and are brief and polite then it is what it is ig
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lorephobic · 2 years
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happy new year :-)
#i dont want to make a big long post because the idea of @ing u all makes me rly nervous#but if ur reading this at all thank u for making 2022 so baller for me#genuinely it was a rly good year for me both irl and online and u guys were a part of that!!#very very grateful that i got into this corner of the hc fandom#very grateful for peter cora and rio for getting me into this nightmare and even more grateful for everyone ive met along the way#idk if its weird to mention mutuals if we dont actively talk to one another but im particularly thankful for#joey for making me laugh and for skizzposting unabashedly#clay for keeping me (in)sane during double life#honey for. every single thing u have ever created. uve done so much for this community and for me personally SKDHDHKFG#august for actually probably radicalizing me with the scardubs agenda#creati for being my crafting buddy#and also grace and sadie who need no description#u two are so dear to me its weird to even put u on here LOL#thank u for letting me crash at ur places for concerts and also for being a part of this fandom I GUESS#this is rambly already but i do want to say that i hate like. assuming my significance in other ppls lives#which is 100% why i didnt @ ppl in this#bc im sure theres ppl i mentioned in these tags who maybe dont even recognize me a little bit#which is ok!!#if i am a speck of dust in ur life then i am lucky to have been a speck of dust ykwim#in a world so big it is amazing that i found so many ppl who impacted me here on the silly blue website#ok if uve read this far i love u <3#i hope this year is gentle to u i hope u find peace i hope u get rest and i hope u laugh a lot#<333
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I know its more fun to have characters we like all being friendly and liking each other, especially for fluff (I am not immune to incorrect marauder quotes)
But I love and definitely don't get enough of characters loathing each other. Like Regulus and Remus actively hating each other and having their own separate beef is just far more juicy.
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thatsmzbitchtoyou · 7 months
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My Alpha
This is kind of a long one shot (5619 words!), but I thought I'd try my hand at the ABO!/Omegaverse. Hope you like it!
Being an omega wasn’t always a bad thing.  At least that’s what she told herself repeatedly as she religiously took hormone blocking birth control pills and wore scent blockers on the daily.  Y/N hadn’t had a heat in years and wasn’t planning on letting up any time soon.  She had started working as a personal assistant for the Avengers under Tony Stark years before, going through the Sokovia Accords debacle, surviving the Blip, losing Natasha, Tony, Steve, T'Challa, and all the other strange and traumatic things that happened during her tenure.  She had denied her biology to get this job, not wanting it to affect her performance or be a target while being surrounded by literal super Alphas in this field.  And as hard as the job was, she loved it.
One of the greatest highlights was gaining Bucky Barnes as a friend.  While other Alphas she had come across were domineering, he was compassionate and kind.  He very rarely lost his composure like others did during high pressure situations in missions, and never fought over who was in charge.  He was incredibly careful to make sure everyone around him felt comfortable in his presence.  After finally shaking the Winter Soldier programming he didn’t want to ever lose control of himself again, and with the super soldier serum messing with his hormones to the extent that he was nearly feral during ruts, he would isolate himself away to keep her and others safe.  
Y/N felt like she could talk to him about anything, and he felt the same.  She was his sanctuary after rough missions, one of the few people that could break him out of a deep depressive state or the nightmares that still plagued him.  He knew she was an Omega but could barely smell her because of her blockers, which he both loved and hated.  Loved because it made it so they could be friends without the weird biological dynamics getting in the way, and hated because he was super curious about what her scent was.  They had fallen for each other long ago, but were both too afraid to do anything about it.
As they both relaxed during a rare weekend off they got on the topic of Omega versus Alpha traits.  “I get it, Alphas can be rough, but don’t you want to mate someday?  Find someone special to settle down with?  Maybe have a family?”
She sighed.  “Of course I do, Buck.”
“Then what are you afraid of?” he asked gently.
“Not having a clear choice,” she answered simply, giving him a sharp look.  “I don’t want my biology to decide my fate.  So many Omegas get stuck being mated with bad Alphas because their heats were uncontrollable and the Alpha wouldn’t take no for an answer.  I know that I’m predestined to be a nurturer.  Hell, that’s what my job is now, taking care of all of you guys!  But I should get to choose who I end up with based on love, not by body’s reactions.” Bucky nodded in understanding, looking down at his intertwined hands.  “Do you want to settle down someday?”
“Yeah,” he said quietly.  “I just don’t know how it would work out.  This job…my past.  It all points towards disaster at any given time.”
She slid over to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders awkwardly as she sat next to him.  “You deserve a happy ever after, Bucky.”
“You do, too, you know,” he reminded her, resting his head on top of hers.
“Mmh, maybe someday,” she said wistfully as she undid her embrace and leaned back against the couch.
“So, anyways,” he cleared his throat.  “Is it true that Omegas have a better sense of smell than Alphas or Betas?  Like you can pick up on others’ scents and identify them really well?”
She laughed.  “Yes, it’s true.”
“Really?  Okay, what does…” he scanned the room as other Avengers milled in and out.  “Peter.  What does Spidey smell like?” He tested her, watching her expectantly.
She took a look at Peter across the room, her nose slightly flaring as she took in a whiff from his direction.  “He always smells like fresh bagels to me.  You know the smell of just-baked bread?  Kinda like that.  Mixed with a little bit of hazelnut.”
Bucky looked at her in awe.  “Yeah I kinda get that off of him.  Alphas can smell and track scents but not to that level.”
“Hm, that’s interesting,” she said as her eyebrows furrowed.  
“Now how about Sam?” he asked excitedly, hoping it would be something not so pleasant he could tease him about.
“Ha, Sam is Cajun seasoning with a sweet lemony undertone.  Like really well done seafood,” she answered quickly with a smile on her face, knowing Bucky would be disappointed in that answer.
Bucky frowned as he thought about who to ask of next.  “Okay, how about…Steve?” He knew it was a long shot.  Steve had been gone for a few years now, so she probably wouldn’t remember.  But she gave him a soft smile.
“Steve was smoky, like fireworks.  A summer night that ends with warm apple crisp and melting vanilla ice cream on top,” she said as she stared out the window, a dazed look in her eyes as she remembered him.
“Wow…” Bucky whispered.  “I always got the fireworks, and something like a picnic.  But now that you say it, yeah, apple with vanilla.”
“Yep, he was truly all American,” she winked at him.
He laughed as he turned towards her on the couch.  “How about, um…me?”
She gazed at him, her expression softening as her nose flared again and she huffed out the breath she’d taken.  “Smoky, like Steve, but different.”
“Like gunpowder?” he asked suddenly, his eyes searching hers.  He had been told that before and was hoping they were wrong.
“No, not gunpowder.  More like…” she sniffed again but frowned.  “Do you mind if I…?” she gestured her finger from herself to him.
“Yeah, go ahead,” he said, opening himself up for her to scoot closer to him.  She leaned in towards his neck, the best place to scent someone, and breathed in a slow sniff of him.  She closed her eyes.
“Campfire.  A campfire on the beach.  And the smell of the ocean after it rains,” she said resolutely, opening her eyes to look at him.  Their faces were close as he stared at her.  “But no, not gunpowder,” she reassured him.
“That’s good,” he breathed, his eyes shifting from her eyes down to her lips and back.
Her eyes suddenly widened, her brow furrowing and she pulled herself away quickly.  “I, um…I need to go…excuse me,” she said hurriedly before she jumped off the couch and power-walked down the hall towards her room.
“Wait, Y/N, are you okay?” Bucky stood from the couch as he watched her leave.
“Yeah!  I’ll talk to you later!” she yelled back without looking, her voice sounded strained.
“What the hell?” he asked himself quietly, looking around him like something had jumped out and spooked her.
Once she was out of sight she ran to her room and had Friday bolt the door.  She doubled over in pain and clutched her stomach.  “No way,” she moaned as she reached for her phone and called for help.
“Hey you, how are ya?” Bruce asked when he answered the call.
“Bruce,” her voice was pained as she held in another moan.  “I need help, something’s wrong.”
“What?  What’s going on?” he sounded worried, the rustling of papers and beeping from a screen by him going off.
“It feels…like a heat?  But that’s not possible, right?  We made sure of it,” she grunted as another cramp shot through her abdomen, and just as suddenly as it all started, it suddenly stopped, leaving her gasping.  “Wait, now it stopped?  What the hell is happening?”
“Come down to the lab, right now.  We’ll get you tested.”
She didn’t need to be told twice as she hung up and crept out of her room towards the elevator.  She was able to get in and down to the lab a few floors away without being caught by Bucky or anybody else.  She ran into the lab in a panic.  Bruce was already setting up the medical bay in the back with everything needed to do a check-up, some vials next to the other instruments.
“Hey, let’s take some blood and see what’s going on,” he called out to her when he heard the doors slide open.  She jogged to the bed and hopped up on it, taking off her cardigan so he could access the veins in her arm better.  After a quick routine check up he took a few vials of her blood then stepped out towards all the equipment he had for medical and scientific tests.  
He worked silently as she sat there deep in thought.  It can’t be, she tried to reassure herself.  I’ve been so careful.  Not missed a single pill ever.  This can’t be happening.  After about an hour Bruce came back with a screen in his hand, his eyebrows hung low over his eyes and a frown on his face.
“Y/N, it’s…it’s not working anymore,” he said softly, his eyes sad and confused as he looked at her.
“What do you mean?” she asked hesitantly, her eyes widening.
“The hormone blockers, the pills…your body isn’t responding to them anymore.  Your hormones are syncing back to normal Omega levels.  Your heats are going to come back.”
“No, no no no no no…NO Bruce!  I can’t.  Please, there’s gotta be another pill to try, a shot, an implant, something?  Anything, please?” she began to cry.  
“I’m sorry Y/N.  We already got you the best blockers that are available out there.  If your body is weaning off of them it means your biology is taking over, probably because you’re getting older and it’s fighting back to have a chance at mating.  I’m so sorry,” he showed her the hormone levels on a chart on the screen, pointing out the differences and then setting it down.  “There’s nothing I can do.  Nothing you can do but prepare yourself for it to start again.  And your first one is probably going to be brutal after avoiding them for so long.  You’ll need help–”
“NO!  No, I can’t do this.  I can’t ask some random Alpha for help.  This isn’t fair!” she cried harder, hiding her face in her hands.  Bruce patted her on the back, trying to help ease her pain by giving off a calming scent.  He was also an Omega and knew how much this meant to her.  
“It will be alright, Y/N.  You have friends here who will help you without making it awkward between you and them, or won’t immediately try mating with you during your heat.  They’re good Alphas.  They won’t hurt you or take advantage of you,” he promised.
She tried to calm the loud beating of her heart that was wringing in her ears, a panic attack trying to settle deep in her bones that she was fighting back.  “How long do I have until it comes?” she sighed as she sniffled.
“I don’t know, I’m sorry.  With it being so long since you last had one it could be next week or it could be in a couple of months,” he answered gravely.
“Ugh, great,” she laughed as she wiped her tears away.  “No choice, whatsoever.  My body ultimately got to decide for me after all.  Wonderful,” she spat as she jumped down off the bed.  “Thank you, Bruce, for testing.  I just…I need to go sleep this off, I don’t know,” she said, giving him a quick hug and then leaving the lab.  
She took the elevator back up to her floor, her eyes stinging from the hot tears still slowly falling down.  Her heat was coming back, and with a vengeance.  She would need help.  Who would she ask?  Any of the unmated superhero Alphas would probably say yes, though she knew she only wanted one.  But how could she ask this of him?  And if he did help, how could she go on with their friendship as if nothing had happened between them afterwards?
The elevator opened and she trudged into the common room.  The floor was already dark as twilight set in and everyone had split off to their rooms.  She slipped into the kitchen since she missed dinner while down in the lab to grab something to eat, although she wasn’t particularly hungry.  As she made herself a sandwich she turned to grab a knife then saw a figure in the corner at the dining table.
“Jesus!  Fuck, Bucky you scared me,” she gasped, holding a hand over her heart.
“Sorry, honey,” he grunted as he sat watching her.  “Why are you crying?”
She stiffened as she looked at him, trying to act nonchalant as she grabbed the knife and turned back to her sandwich.  “I’m not, I’m just tired,” she waved him off, quickly cutting the sandwich and putting the ingredients and dishes away to escape.
“Don’t lie to me Y/N.  What’s wrong?” he stood, walking towards her.  She reached for the refrigerator door to get a drink, which he quickly shut and stared her down.  She wouldn’t look him in the eye.
“Come on Buck, I just need a drink,” she complained as she tried to open the door again, reaching for the handle.  Bucky grabbed her wrist firmly and leaned in towards her.
“What’s wrong Y/N?  You ran away earlier and now you smell…off,” he said, searching her eyes as his nose flared at the scent she was radiating.  His frown deepened and his eyes looked worried.  “Why are you afraid?  Was it me?  Did I do something wrong?”
“No!  Oh no, Bucky, it’s not you,” she said, her eyes widening.  “It’s me, it’s just…” her eyes welled up with tears again, spilling onto her cheeks as she sucked in a sharp breath.  “It’s me,” she sobbed, leaning forward til her forehead rested against his chest.
“Oh honey,” Bucky sighed.  He put his hands under her armpits and lifted her onto the counter so she was eye level with him.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her face in his shoulder, crying harder as he enveloped her, his hands rubbing up and down her back as he whispered reassuring words to her.  They sat holding each other for a while, Bucky letting her cry it out and Y/N relishing the comfort.  As her cries died down and her grip loosened around his neck he pulled back.
“Tell me what’s wrong, please?  You’re breaking an old man’s heart,” he pleaded, hating to see her hurting so much.
Y/N chuckled at him calling himself an old man as she wiped her nose with her sleeve.  Bucky held her face in his hands and wiped her tears away with his thumbs.  She let herself enjoy his touch before she sniffled and finally looked up at him.
“When I was talking to you earlier, I felt this weird pain,” she explained quietly.  Bucky nodded, listening intently as he held her face still.  “That’s why I ran out.  I went to Bruce’s lab to test me because it felt like…like a heat,” she sniffled again, looking down at her lap.  Bucky nodded again, his hands releasing her face and reaching for her hands to hold.  “I haven’t had one in years.”  This surprised him.  He knew there were new ways of birth control for Omegas now, giving them a lot more options than to just mate and reproduce and take care of their Alphas and pups like the old days, which he thought was great.  He just didn’t realize it could be for so long.  “And now, apparently, the hormone blockers aren’t working anymore,” she gripped his fingers tightly.  “My body is rejecting them, weaning off of them and reverting back to normal hormone levels.  My heat is coming,” she sucked in another sharp breath.  “I don’t know when, but he said it’s going to be brutal since I’ve been avoiding them for so long.  He said I’ll need help and…and I don’t know what to do.”  Her voice shook as she looked up at him again.  “I’m scared,” she whispered.
Bucky could feel her panic and gave off what he hoped was a calming scent.  It seemed to help as her eyes fluttered shut and her shoulders visibly relaxed.  The Alpha in him hummed in satisfaction as he swept his thumbs over her knuckles.  “You don’t need to be scared, Y/N.  It’s going to be okay,” he tried to placate her.  “Listen, I know earlier you said you wanted a choice, and now your body’s not giving you one.”  She nodded, a few more tears slipping out the sides of her eyes.  “I…I can help you,” he said, gulping back the lump in his throat.  Her eyes snapped up to him, a look of shock on her face.  “I know that I’m offering something kinda crazy.  But I promise you I won’t hurt you, I won’t make you court me if you don’t want to, and I won’t forcibly mate with you.”  He looked her deep in her eyes to try to get her to understand.  “But I’d be honored to help you.”
Y/N couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing.  She had wanted to ask him and now he was offering himself for her to get through this first heat.  She licked her lips and contemplated it.  “I just don’t want it to ruin our friendship,” she sniffed again, her eyes searching his face for hesitation.
“It won’t,” he said earnestly.  
“...Okay,” she agreed.  
Bucky smiled as he squeezed her fingers.  “Okay.”
“Thank you, Bucky.  You’re a good Alpha,” she thanked him, lifting his hands up and kissing his knuckles.
His eyes fluttered shut and he cleared his throat.  “You should probably not call me that, at least not right now.”
Her eyes widened.  “Oh!  God, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean–”
“It’s okay, honey, it’s fine,” he chuckled.  “Whenever it hits you, just call me, and I’ll be there.”
She gave him a warm smile in appreciation.  They were playing with fire, and they both knew it deep down, but were denying it heavily.
***
Y/N could feel her hormones changing her body and mind.  Bruce had advised against wearing scent blockers as well to help her body fully adjust and hopefully not cause as much pain during her upcoming heat, and that was the first thing she noticed.  The Alphas around her, who would normally just give her a friendly greeting or a smile, now watched her hungrily through narrow eyes, giving tight smiles as their noses flared as she passed by.  It made her self-conscious enough to ask Bucky one day, “Do I smell bad?”
Bucky looked away from the book he was reading as she plopped next to him on the couch in the common room again, lifting her feet up to rest on his lap.  She was touching him a lot more lately.  “What do you mean?”
“Do I smell bad?  Omegas can’t really smell themselves very well, and since I took off the scent blockers I’ve been…watched,” she looked around the room warily.  Bucky’s eyes swept across the other Alphas in the room, noting how they were all giving off territorial scents as they tracked her.  He sat up straight, facing each one until they caught his eye and gave off a warning rumble deep in his chest, his eyes flashing dangerously.  They each quickly retreated, shamefully turning back towards their previous tasks.  The air around Y/N seemed to lift and she felt like she could breathe again.  “Thank you, Bucky.”
He sat back on the couch, grabbing his book with one hand and mindlessly rubbing her feet with the other.  “No need to thank me, honey.  And no, you don’t smell bad.  You smell like chai.”
“Chai?” Y/N scoffed.
“Yeah, chai with…” he reached a hand out and grabbed her wrist, bringing it up to his nose and inhaling deeply.  Her eyes widened comically at his brashness in scenting her so publicly.  “Pumpkin.  Chai and pumpkin.  Like Autumn,” he concluded, setting her wrist down and then rubbing her feet again.  He said it so casually that she just stared at him dumbfounded.  
It got worse as the weeks went on.  Her emotions were haywire, one minute she was calm and cool and the next she was agitated and easily crying at anything.  She was nesting anxiously, rearranging her room and her desk in her office, constantly carrying around a large fuzzy cardigan or blanket with her.  Her joints were sore, especially in her hips.  She found herself eating all the time.  Bruce had her come down to the lab each week to check her levels, each time warning her it could happen any day now.  
A month and a half later on a Friday night the team got together for a movie night.  They decided on watching the first Avatar, a movie Bucky hadn’t yet seen.  As it played Y/N kept fidgeting next to him, adjusting her sitting position, wringing her hands in her lap, taking deep breaths periodically.  A scene began of two of the characters connecting in a tree garden and Sam yelled out, “Alien tree sex!”  Everyone laughed but Y/N bolted out of the room.  Bucky watched her run down to her room and shut her door.
He quietly got up and followed her.  He could tell just by her scent changing these last few weeks and how it was getting stronger, the chai smell getting spicier, that her heat was fast approaching.  She had been very touchy with him, following him around and staying close whenever they were in the same room.  He had no claim to her, but it was evident to everyone to stay away from her, otherwise they’d get a growl from him.  He was growing more excited by the day, trying to remind himself that he was just helping out a friend, not staking any claim or bond.  
When he reached her door he pressed his ear against it, listening for her.  He heard her heart rate picking up and her breathing became labored.  He could also smell her, more potent, spicy, the scent of unmated Omega making his hormones sing and call out for her.  A deep rumble emitted from his chest as he felt his cock hardening.  He knocked on her door.
“Y/N,” he called out, just loud enough for her to hear.  A soft moan came from the other side.  His eyelids shut tight at the sound.  It was time.  “I’m coming in,” he warned before opening the door.  He stepped inside and was hit with the scent full force, making his eyes and mouth water simultaneously.  Y/N was laying in the nest she built on her bed in the fetal position, one hand on her stomach and the other in between her legs, not yet touching herself but keeping pressure against her core.  “Honey…” he groaned as he locked the door behind himself and walked towards the bed.
“Alpha,” she breathed, her brow furrowed and eyes shut tight.  A cramp wracked through her whole body and she yelped in pain.  “It’s starting.  It hurts…hurts so bad,” she cried as she could feel a small gush of slick pour from her pussy as her body recognized the Alpha in the room.
“It’s gonna be okay, honey, I’m here,” he cooed at her, reaching his hand out and running his fingers along her leg from her ankle to her thigh.  “Let’s get you out of these, huh?” he said while lifting the hem of her shorts up slightly.  She nodded and blindly started pulling at her clothes.  Bucky helped her strip out of her layers then undressed himself, giving her naked body an appreciative glance.  He lay behind her on the bed, cocooning her in his arms and leaning his head into the crook of her neck and scenting her.  He could feel himself getting drunk off of her heat.  She was sending him into an early rut as his hips rocked against her ass slowly.  Y/N keened at that, her back arching and pushing her ass into his crotch further.  He moaned at the sensation, his arms tightening around her.  “Shh, Omega.  I got you,” he said as his voice dropped further, the Alpha coming through more prominently now.
“Bucky…” she sighed, her hands gripping his arms around her.  “Please…Alpha please,” she begged, her legs shaking as another cramp hit her.
Bucky moaned at the sound of his name said that way coming from her lips.  He started to lick and suck and kiss at the scent gland on her throat, making her gasp loudly.  His scent mixed with hers, and they quickly got lost in each other.  His hands found her breasts and massaged them firmly, his fingers tweaking her nipples and making her hips buck back into him again.  He twisted her body around to face him.  She quickly molded herself back to him, hiking her leg up and over his hip, her hands scratching down his chest.  He tried to remind himself one last time that this was just a friend helping a friend.  Then she kissed him.
The kiss broke the dam of hesitancy he was holding to desperately.  He quickly responded, his mouth opening and their tongues tangling as they tasted each other.  Bucky climbed on top of her, his knees forcing hers apart.  His fingers probed her lower lips, finding her clit and giving it all his attention.  Y/N’s hips writhed as he riled her up.  She watched his fingers dip into her, making her breath stutter.  She was already dripping for him so he plunged two fingers into her, thrusting them in and out while his thumb rubbed and flicked her clit.  
“Fuck Alpha,” she groaned.  “Just like that, shit!”
Bucky smiled as she cursed, her legs shaking against his.  She reached down and took his cock in her hand, giving him lazy pumps as he got her closer to her release.  He huffed a sharp breath.  “Damn, honey, oooh that’s good,” he said lowly.  “Give it to me, love, come on, you can do it.  Be such a good Omega for me,” he encouraged her as he curled his fingers as deep as he could reach.  
The tension in her core finally snapped, her first orgasm ripping through her at lightning speed, squirting slick all over his hand and his hips.  She let out a guttural moan, the sound reverberating through the air, making the Alpha inside of him scream to claim her.  He had to physically restrain himself as he pulled his fingers out of her.  She smiled as she watched him with hooded eyes.  He put his wet fingers in his mouth and licked them clean of her slick, his eyes rolling back at the taste.
“Alpha please, I need you.  Bucky, I want your big cock inside me…please!” Y/N begged again.  Normally it would embarrass her to be acting like this, she would have never dreamed of speaking to Bucky this way.  But they were beyond the point of no return.
“Condom first, Omega,” he reminded her in his authoritative voice.  “As much as I’d love to fill you up, I don’t think that’s what you want just yet.”
Y/N pouted, but the first orgasm had helped clear her brain a little bit, and pointed to the nightstand next to the bed.  Bucky quickly reached over and pulled open the top drawer, finding the box and pulling a few of them out.  He unwrapped one and slipped it on himself before settling back between her legs, backing up a little bit.  “Present, please, Omega.”
Y/N twisted herself onto her stomach, lifting her hips high and pressing the side of her face into the bed.  Bucky almost whimpered at the sight of her sweet pussy, seeing the way he had made her drip with slick, the skin softly puckering in anticipation.  “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen Y/N, goddamn,” he whispered huskily.  She preened at his praise, her ass raising a little higher.  He gave her ass a quick slap, making her yelp and shiver.  “You ready?” he asked, making sure she was still wanting this.
“Yes, please Alpha, Bucky…please!”
“You’re so sexy when you beg,” he slapped her ass again, then grabbed her hips and aimed himself at her entrance.  He slowly pushed in the tip of his cock, the fat head catching just past her lower lips, making them both groan.  He kept pushing until he was fully seated inside her, letting her adjust to his size.  Y/N was keening again, a high pitched tone ringing through the air.  After a moment she wriggled her hips, silently asking him to thrust.  A deep growl emanated from Bucky’s throat and he pulled back until it was just the tip inside, then snapped his hips back into her hard. 
Y/N was making the sweetest noises he’d ever heard as he pummeled his cock into her.  She whimpered and moaned, making him hook an arm around her hips and lay his stomach across her back, quick huffs of his breath warming her shoulder.  He could feel her walls fluttering around him, making the rhythm of his hips stutter.  “Fuck, honey, you gonna cum?”  She nodded as her moans got louder.  He flipped her back over onto her back so he could watch her release, leaving barely any room between them as he hovered over her.  Her hands wound around the back of his neck, scratching his scalp with her nails.  “Goddammit, do that again,” he heard himself whimpering this time.  She scratched from the top of his head down to his neck and pulled him in for another kiss.
He reached between their bodies and started flicking her clit as he chased his own high.  “Bucky, oh my God,” she squealed against his lips as her back arched and her legs clung to his hips.  “Yes, yes, yes, shit…mark me.”
Bucky didn’t stop thrusting but tensed at her words.  “No, Y/N, you don’t want that.”
“Yes, I do, with you, Bucky,” she gasped.
“Omega,” he warned her, his eyes flashing.  “We can talk about that when I’m not balls deep inside you.”
Y/N tensed at his Alpha command, her legs loosening around him.  “I want you to be my Alpha, my mate.”
“God fucking dammit,” Bucky stopped thrusting and leaned on his elbows above her.  “Y/N, listen to me, you don’t want that.  You said you wanted a clear choice, remember?”  Y/N was silent and wide eyed as she watched him, slightly nodding her head.  “This isn’t a clear choice.  Your first heat in how many years?  It’s your hormones talking, honey.  And believe me, I’d love to mark you, claim you, bond and mate with you.  Stuff you full of me,” he thrust again, making her eyes roll back, “and breed you with my pups.  But we can talk about all that later.  Right now, I’m here to help you through this, because you’re my best friend, and…I’m ridiculously in love with you.”  He finally said it.  “I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine.  But when it’s both of us with clear heads and a clear choice.  Okay?”
Y/N’s eyes were watery as she listened to him.  “You’re in love with me?”
Bucky huffed a laugh, “Is that all you got out of that?”
She shook her head, “No, but it’s the most important thing.  I’m in love with you.”
He smiled wide and leaned down to give a quick kiss to her nose.  “Can I continue now?”
She nodded again, and he gave her another thrust to get her going again.  Her slick started to make squelching noises as he picked up the pace again, his knot starting to catch at her entrance, his hand reaching to her clit again and trailing kisses down her throat to her scent gland, licking and sucking at it again.
“One day, if you’ll have me, I’ll bite this pretty neck,” he moaned in her ear as her fingers dug into his back.  “Make you mine.”
“Yours, all yours, Bucky…Alpha,” Y/N groaned, leaning her head up and scenting him back.  Her soft lips and her tongue against his gland had his eyes rolling in his head again and his fingers gripping her hips harshly.  “That’s right.  Mine.  Mine…mine,” he thrusted harder and faster, angling her hips up to hit deeper.
Y/N screamed his name as she finally came, her hands digging into the flesh between his neck and shoulder, scratching his scent gland and making him see stars as he came with a yell, his knot fully inflating and latching him to her as she nearly squeezed the dear life out of him.  He fell on top of her, and she held him as he calmed down, both of them panting and sweaty.  
A heady scent filled the air, a smell that screamed satisfied mates.  Bucky pulled himself to his side, holding her close so it wouldn’t hurt her to move with him, and covered them with the blankets from her nest.  Y/N was delirious after this first round of her heat, her head lolling with exhaustion.  “Rest, Omega.  We’ve still got a few days, and forever after that.”
She smiled sleepily, “Hmmm, my Alpha.”
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mariocki · 15 days
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Silent Rage (1982)
"John killed him, right? Didn't he?"
"I don't care if he murdered a hundred people. We're scientists, not moralists. You know that we're all expendable. John Kirby is the future. Because of him it's possible that millions of lives can be saved."
"Only if we could have perfected the process, but there's no time. I mean, nobody's going to give us the Nobel Prize for murder."
#silent rage#1982#american cinema#michael miller#joseph fraley#edward di lorenzo#chuck norris#ron silver#steven keats#toni kalem#william finley#brian libby#stephen furst#stephanie dunnam#joyce ingle#jay de plano#lillette zoe raley#peter bernstein#mark goldenberg#brainless Norris actioner; I've wanted to see this for a while‚ but only because of the presence of beloved Bill Finley (under used but an#absolute delight as always). this was Chuck's only foray into the vaguely sci fi or horror themed movie world‚ this being a kind of#Frankenstein take off (only with more roundhouse kicks). it was also his only time doing romantic scenes‚ something he was apparently#very uncomfortable with‚ and which he swore off ever doing onscreen again. he's not the strongest actor‚ altho his martial arts are#admittedly impressive; this is at its best when following Libby's man mountain homicidal killer (the opening ten minutes in particular#all restless handheld camera and sweaty mental break‚ are quite excellent). Libby was a stuntman but you'd never know he wasn't a trained#actor‚ he puts a hell of a lot into his performance. Furst's comic relief deputy‚ on the other hand‚ quickly grows tiresome#dumb as rocks and at times plain idiotic (Norris is satisfied he's killed the big bad by throwing him down a small well‚ despite the guy#having just survived much greater falls and a close range explosion without a scratch). fun synth score too but this is far from an#essential watch; for fans of brainless machismo and or Bill Finley being a weird nerd only (I'm the latter more than the former)
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