#so many awful puns and dad jokes and its the best

[the-crafting-gremlin]

I love my coworkers so much. (For many reasons, including that they're all genuinely pretty good people, open and accepting, and funny.)

One of them and her husband are going to a metal concert this weekend, and it turns out that our manager is going with his oldest daughter because they're also fans of this band. The one coworker commented that she wonders what people must think when they hear about the different concerts she's gone to this year since its kind of a weird variety--an old folky-country singer who's mostly only popular with older people (in their mid 50's and up; she and her sister were the youngest there by quite a bit, in their late 20's and early 30's respectively), Taylor Swift, and now a metal band.

Another coworker piped up, "That's why I like you; your music tastes are eclectic. You're poly-jam-orous!"

I about died laughing, y'all. Her pun game is on point, as usual.

[theanonymousninja247]

Pretty Random Turtle Thunks: Baby Clothes

Scenario: You’ve just handed said Rise Aged Up Turtle a tiny baby outfit. Whether your child, a niece, nephew, sibling or just some infant you saved from the streets, just know there is now an itty bitty baby human within your general vicinity you are now taking care of

*Rating: Milk🥛(aka for anybody)*

Raph🧸❤️: Tears. Just. So. Many. Tears. Makes Niagara Falls look like a trickle. This man is literally loosing it, hand over mouth can’t stop staring at the ridiculously tiny piece of fabric in his hand. It’s barely the size of his fingers.

…Sweet Pizza Supreme in the Sky…

ItS BaReLy ThE sIzE oF hIs FinGeRs.

You find him hunkered down in his room immediately after the news, surrounded by the remains of over a dozen, half started knitting projects, tears still on his face as he tries to fathom the very idea that something can be that small.

He’s been trying to knit the perfect baby blanket, but his anxieties start to take over every time he starts over. He worries the material is gonna itch the baby’s skin. Is the baby gonna suffocate if the stitches are too tight? Will the baby drown in fabric if he makes it too big? Will the baby get too cold if it isn’t big enough? etc etc etc…

You’re gonna have to talk him down a little bit because he’s gonna work himself into a frenzy getting ready for the baby.

Donnie🤔🟪: Just looks at said article of clothing. Looks back up at you, face slightly pinching in confusion, then back at the outfit. Cue a slow curious thumbing of the fabric. Slow blink. Body suddenly freezes. Eyes comically begin to grow wide. (Give him a second, give him a second; he’s computing) Before his head suddenly snaps back up to stare at you and then almost frantically back down at the garment as the realization hits. There’s no outwardly facial reaction, but the tell tale sign is that his hand fumbles for his goggles as suddenly he’s going full inspection mode.

You are more or less not surprised when the article is met with immediate disdain.

Cue Donnie spending hours researching the best materials for baby clothes. They’re going to be 100% organic and made of the softest and most sterile fabrics he can find. And if he can’t find any brands that suit his high class fancy, well he’ll just design a machine to do the job himself. He’s not the founder of Genius Tech for nothing.

This small infant will be associated with HIM of all people and a such deserves nothing but the highest quality. The best of the best for the best. Obviously.

Your child will be the most finely dressed child of the century after being in the hands of Donnie for more than 5 seconds. There will be a fashion show. Period. Being a baby never looked this good. 

Leo✨💠: Realization that slowly unfurls like a blossom in the morning sun. This turtles face is so bright with excitement when it finally clicks that he literally becomes the sun for like solid minute it’s just that big. However that smile immediately folds into that signature cat smirk that warns of nothing but impending deviousness.

Your child is in trouble, for it now lies in the hands of an evil mastermind, hell bent on causing tomfoolery that will last through out the generations to follow.

He’s always wanted to leave a legacy, and he will seize this moment and milk for all its worth. 

All the dad jokes. All of the horrible groan-inducing, eye-rolling, awful puns. All the stupid slapstick, low brow kind of humor are now practically plastered to your child’s clothing. He thinks he’s the funniest person alive and will do everything his power to infect said child with the same vein of humor.

Also, be warned of leaving your child alone with this man, because if left to his devices for too long, you will receive an unfathomable amount of memes and edited baby photos of your child and Leo in hilarious re-enactments scenes.  

Mikey🎨🧡: Pretty sure a missile just went off Because the squeal of excitement that erupted from this turtle was the only warning you got, before you were all but tackled in a hug like a rugby player, pretty much burst not only the sound barrier but your ear drums as well.

There! Is! So! Much! Excitement!

It. Can. Not. Be. CoNtAiNeD!!!!

It’s literally oozing out of him and man practically reverts into a child himself as the foundation of curiosity is exploded, and you are all but drowned in a relentlessly loving sea of questions. He wants to know EVERYTHING. All the time! Because he just - he just -he just can’t wait! All this time to prepare for another little bundle of joy!  It jumpstarts his creative spark in a way you have NEVER seen before. He now spends his time religiously spent in three locations: locked in close and glued to your hip, a culinary cabaret in which you are very much the honored guest who just has to taste test his newest recipe (your taste buds have never been this happy) or in his art studio working on just one more thing for the baby.

He’s designed his own baby clothes, painted more than enough scenes for multiple nurseries to be completely filled, and even written a couple of his own baby adventure comic books that he is just dying to read the awaited little one.

He’s beyond ecstatic at the thought that there’s now something tinier than him that he can help take care of and love. 

Bottom line: Both you and your baby are about to be welcomed into the arms of the most excited and loving family you will ever have the privilege of knowing. Just…good luck trying to get their arms off of you. Because they will never and I mean EVER let either one of you go. That is both their threat and their promise!

Shout out to the besties who proofread @anobodyinabog and @saspas-corner 🧡

As well as the ever incredible @avery73 (hope it’s ok to tag you in this, but I just realized that I lowkey based my turtle thunks after reading yours, and I wanted to give you the credit. Thought you might enjoy?)

[masterjedilenawrites]

My guy, can I just say that I LOVE your writing? Its absolutely amazing and wholesome! speaking of wholesome, could I maybe request the clones with an s/o who wants a child? Or maybe the clones as fathers?

Wow thank you, I'm flailing on the floor from these compliments! Glad to provide some wholesome content for the fandom in these trying times... #bringcrosshairhome

I just did a Clones with pregnant S/O request, so here's Clones as fathers...

Cody is a dutiful father. He takes the job seriously right from the start, seamlessly readjusting his life to include his child as if they'd always been there. He'll take any opportunity to teach his child all the important things, from hands-on tasks like fixing a speeder or shooting a blaster, to more abstract concepts like being polite to strangers and apologizing when in the wrong. When he has to choose work over home, he makes up for it with extra attention when he returns.

Rex is a super-dad. His kids look up to him their entire lives, believing he really is a superhero. Think Jack Pearson from This is Us. He'll dress up for tea parties, and listen to the same stories over and over, and chauffeur them and their friends around town, and help with homework, and lend them money for when they go on their first date.... He's tired all the time, but he never lets it show. He and his S/O are partners in this endeavor; their teamwork is admirable and enviable.

Wolffe is a private dad. He keeps his family life separate, that way he can be the tough leader he needs to be in battle, and then let all of that go when he returns home. He's a secret softie and only his S/O and child ever see that side of him. They have him wrapped around their finger; he knows this, and loves it. There isn't a single thing he wouldn't do for either of them. They are his world. He gets sentimental about a lot of things and doesn't like how fast his baby grows up.

Fox is a doting father. He'd spoil the shit out of his kids. Sneaking candy when their mom says no, buying the toy they secretly eyed in the store, letting them stay up late and watch him clean his armor. He gets in trouble with his S/O a lot, but he can't help it. He wants to give his kids the entire galaxy. He can discipline them when necessary, and because he only does so sparingly, his kids take it seriously and never act that way again. He thinks they are just perfect.

Fives is a proud dad. Everything his children do is amazing. He keeps every last drawing or craft they make for him. He recounts every milestone of their lives to his brothers. He cries over them a lot. He is just in awe of how they grow up, all their strength and potential and innocence, he just eats it up. He definitely wears T-Shirts that have puns of the word dad in it, so anyone who sees him knows who he is. It's the most important part of his life, far more than being a soldier.

Echo is a nurturing father. He is very concerned with the health and happiness of his child. He's more nervous when they're young, wondering if they're behind in their development or whether their runny nose is a sign of something more serious. He's more comfortable when they get older, letting them do more on their own. He's big on communication and uses little codewords. Like, Cover-fire means he needs them to just do as they're told. DMZ means they're free to speak their mind, no judgement. Retreat means they need to rethink their bad attitude and apologize.

Jesse is a hip dad. He doesn't try to be, he just is. He never really let go of that part of himself after becoming a father, listening to certain kinds of music or having a fun night out. He doesn't set a lot of rules; in fact, he openly allows certain things that other parents might balk at. He figures it's better for them to experience these things in the safety of their home, rather than doing it behind his back and getting hurt. His kids like their cool dad, they're never embarrassed.

Kix is an affectionate father. His favorite thing in the whole galaxy is coming home to his children tackling him with hugs and kisses. He might coddle in the early years, letting them sleep in his bed or carrying them around everywhere. But as they grow, he's more encouraging of their independence, so long as they still let him hug them whenever he wants. He's also obsessed with health; totally the dad who never lets them eat any sugar or watch TV if the sun's still shining.

Tup is a timid dad. He second-guesses himself a lot, wondering if he made the right decisions or said the right things to his child. He does his best to learn and catch on to the best way to go about things, but it seems as soon as he's finally comfortable, his child has grown up or moved on to the next phase and he has to start over. He is best during the quiet moments of his child's life: reading stories before bed, giggling during bathtime, comforting a broken heart...

Dogma is a responsible father. He prioritizes rules over all else, but puts a lot of thought and care into crafting them. And he's created a lot of rules for himself, too. Things like always wishing them good-night, even when he's away on missions. Or never expressing his frustration in front of them. He creates plenty of opportunities for them to earn privileges or other rewards. He disciplines firmly but fairly. He splits the child-rearing duties with his S/O evenly, as well.

Hardcase is a dorky dad. He's not as hardcore at home as he is on the battlefield, but he still has a lot of energy and releases it through corny jokes, silly antics, and other displays of tomfoolery. Think Phil Dunphy from Modern Family. He wants to be his children's best friend. He tries to keep up with all the trends and slang, which just makes his kids cringe in embarrassment. He's not the best with discipline, but he does get more serious if one of them is hurt or struggling.

Hunter is an interactive father. He will never be considered distant, oh no. He engages with his kid on every level, being a constant and dependable presence in their life. He talks to them as a baby even when they don't understand. He lets them tag along as a toddler, indulging in their curiosity. He checks in with them when they're older, having honest conversations about whatever is on their mind.

Wrecker is a playful dad. Life is an adventure and he's excited to take his children along on the ride. He'd have a lot of kids, filling his home with sounds of laughter and fighting and joy and tears. He'd encourage them to develop a hobby and would attend every competition, performance, etc. without fail. Even with so many to keep track of, he manages to make each one feel special, they all have an important place in the family and never get left out, not on his watch.

Crosshair is a protective father. He knows he's not the best with emotions, so he makes up for it by always having his child's back. Looking out for them. Keeping them safe. He'd teach them how to fight from an early age, going to shooting ranges or on hunts. It'll be their "thing," a way for them to quietly connect through the years. And heaven help the poor soul who ever hurts his little one. He will not hold back in defending their honor and squeezing out an apology.

Tech is a chill dad. He isn't bothered by much, so he keeps his cool through even the roughest stages of his child's development. This ends up creating a sense of stability for his family, they can always count on Dad to keep things steady and real. He won't pry into his child's life; if they want help, they'll need to come to him. But once they do, he is passionate about teaching them everything he knows. He will support them in all of their studies, hobbies, and interests.

[marauderundercover]

This Side of Normal Ch. 7

AO3

Prev

Marinette Dupain Cheng didn’t have a normal life. On the contrary, some would call her life Miraculous. Well, one would. And she would whack him every time. As much as she loved her brother (in all but blood) Adrien, she couldn’t stand his puns most of the time. After he first lost his arm a year ago at the final battle against Hawkmoth, she let him get away with a lot of puns and awful jokes. Because she blamed herself for his injury. She should’ve been able to fix him. But she wasn’t. She still blamed herself some days, but she no longer laughed at every single one of his puns. He knew she hated them, and it was better for her mental health to let him know how awful they were. She’s stirred from her thoughts by Adrien nudging her, obviously trying to get her attention.

“Where are we going for our spring break trip? You helped Mme. Bustier plan that, right?” Adrien asks. She frowns, not sure what brought that topic up.

“We’re going to spend a week in New York and then a week in London. Why?” She asks, confused at his worried expression.

“Okay well, maybe you should tell Mme. Bustier that. Because she just said that we’re spending two weeks in New Jersey.” Adrien says with a grimace.

“WHAT!?” She yells, jumping out of her seat.

“Marinette! I was trying to go over the details of the trip. I’m very disappointed in you. You know better than to interrupt like that.” Mme. Bustier says, shaking her head with a small frown. Marinette’s face turns red and she drops back into her seat, muttering an apology.

“What do you mean we’re going to New Jersey? What’s even in New Jersey?” She asks Adrien in a hushed whisper, conscious of the glares from Lila at the front of the room but determined to ignore them any way she can.

“Gotham, apparently. And the Wayne family. According to Lila, she can get us in for a tour at Wayne Enterprises and Gotham Academy and every other thing the Waynes do. Because she’s dating Damian Wayne, didn’t you know?” Adrien explains, lip quirking in amusement. Marinette groans, dropping her head onto their table.

“Do you realize now I’m going to have to arrange at least part of that? Or we won’t have anything to do and we’ll be stuck in some random city for two whole weeks.” Marinette says, a headache already forming.

“Or, or, hear me out. You could just let her fail. And the trip will flop and everyone will see that she’s awful.” Adrien says. It was a much different response than what he would’ve had a year ago. But the defeat of Hawkmoth and the revelation that his father was a supervillain was enough to alter Adrien’s world view. He wasn’t hopelessly optimistic anymore. He was more cynical. He was still insanely kind, but he didn’t give out his kindness to people who didn’t deserve it. Like the lying bitch in their class.

“I don’t wanna be stuck in a hotel with her for two weeks.” Marinette points out with a grimace. “Wait a minute, why does Gotham sound familiar?”

“Probably from when you were friends with Alya. Batman and his whole team is from Gotham.” He says, slumping down in his seat so that he can continue to whisper to her.

“Oh goody. Crime capital of the US and Lila decides to lie her way into the city. But it wasn’t enough for just her to be targeted. Oh no, she had to get our entire class involved. Yippee.” Marinette snarks, shoving her face back into her folded arms on the desk. It was too much for this early. Time for a nap.

---

After submitting a five thousand word essay on how beneficial a tour of Wayne Enterprises would be and an additional three thousand word essay to Gotham Academy on the benefits of having an exchange class for a week, Marinette was pleased to say that their trip to Gotham wouldn’t be completely boring.

In fact, it would be similar enough to what Lila had lied that hopefully, she wouldn’t be blamed for messing anything up. Sure, they wouldn’t have personal tours from the Wayne family or an invitation to the Spring Gala that the Waynes were hosting, but at least they’d have something to do in Crime City. Hopefully with the amount of security at both Gotham Academy and WE, they wouldn’t run into too many villains. After three years under Hawkmoth, she never wanted to deal with a villain again. Unless she could punch him or her in the face. Then yeah, she’d happily meet a villain. But seeing as it’s highly frowned upon to piss off a Gotham villain like that, she’d prefer to just not see one at all. Would certainly make things easier.

Marinette huffs, glaring at the mess of clothes falling out of her suitcase. She’d started packing two days ago, and then yesterday discovered that she packed the outfit she wanted to wear on the plane. So then she had to take everything out, but then she couldn’t find the outfit and after throwing everything around she found the outfit. Still in her dresser. And now she had a huge mess falling out of her suitcase and not enough time left to pack neatly. Not if she wanted to get any sleep.

“Hey Adrien, can you give me a hand?” She asks, beginning to fold the mess of clothes back up. He’s silent for a minute, and then she hears a click. She sighs and looks up just in time to catch the arm he threw at her.

“There you go!” He says cheekily, a wide grin on his face as he hangs upside down from her bed. She narrows her eyes.

“You know what I meant, you absolute menace.” She deadpans. He snorts before dropping down, landing gracefully and catching the arm she throws back at him.

“You know you love me, Bug.” He says, helping her fold her clothes.

“Unfortunately.” She says with a dramatic sigh. “You hear from Jay yet this week?”

“Yeah. Told me, and I quote ‘stop annoying Pixie Pop with your lameass jokes kid. I can’t protect you from her fury from across the ocean’.” He says with a laugh.

“At least he knows I’d best you in a fight.” She says with a hum. Adrien sputters, an offended look on his face as he slams her last shirt into her suitcase.

“That is not what that meant!” He argues with a pout.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Kitty.” She says, zipping the suitcase shut and trying hard to ignore the bad feeling settling deep into her stomach. Something was going to happen in Gotham, and she wasn’t sure if it would be good or bad.

---

Of course the class would leave them on their first full day in Gotham. It made sense. They’d hated Mari before Hawkmoth’s reveal. And after Hawkmoth’s reveal, they were hesitant around Adrien. Even with the whole ‘my dad cut off my arm’ thing. So honestly, leaving the two of them stranded at the hotel was just par for the course.

“At least we’re together.” Marinette says bitterly, thinking of the fact that the class would be getting to tour Wayne Enterprises. A place that she had worked hard to allow them to tour.

“Come on Mari, look on the bright side.” Adrien says, grabbing her hand and tugging her along.

“What bright side? We were left behind, in Gotham, of all places. What could possibly be good about this situation?” She asks, slightly dragging her feet as he tugged her along behind him.

“Mmmm, the fact that Wayne Enterprises is only a block away.” He says with a grin. She straightens immediately, actually keeping up with his pace now instead of allowing herself to be dragged behind him.

“Why didn’t you lead with that?” She asks, shaking her head in faux disappointment. He shrugs.

“I like a little chaos.” He says. Marinette opens her mouth to snark back at him, but is instead silenced by the building in front of her. Wayne Enterprises was slightly intimidating, but she was still amazed by its design. It was modern and sleek and her hand twitched towards the sketchbook in her purse. She could just imagine skirts with the same sleek shapes and dark colors, suits whose build was used to make the wearer look taller. Just as she’s about to pull out her sketchbook, she sees a familiar head of hair walking into the building. Dark hair with a white streak. But-

“Was that Jason?” She asks, suddenly far more interested in the man who just walked in. Adrien’s gaze snaps to where hers is, frowning at the closed door.

“I don’t know, but let’s go see.” He says, and this time, she’s the one tugging him. Their class completely forgotten. Until they walk through the doors and hear the incessant chatter and noise that comes with being around Lila Rossi. But not enough that is enough to deter the two from their goal. Especially when the man they’d followed turns around, a familiar face set into a scowl.

“Jay!” Marinette calls, waving at him. The man’s scowl instantly drops into a wide smile and he rushes past the class, sweeping the two up into a huge hug.

“Pixie! Kid! What are you two doing here?” He asks, holding them close.

“Jay-Jay, can’t breathe.” Mari says, letting out a puff of air as he sets them down gently.

“Hey Jay!” Adrien says, a wide smile on his face, one of the most sincere smiles Mari had seen in a while. She felt her own face fall into an easy smile. After a year apart, they were together again.

“Uh. Jason? Job, remember?” A voice asks, pulling the three out of their reunion. Jason looks at the man and rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, Dick, thanks. I’d completely forgotten why I came all the way here.” He snarks, no venom in his tone.

“Did you just-” Marinette starts to ask, uncertain if he was calling the man a name or?

“Shit, I forget that even though you speak it just fine, English isn’t your first language. His name is Richard, but ‘Dick’ is a nickname for Richard. It’s what he usually goes by.” Jason explains, snorting at the look on her face. She huffs and rolls her eyes.

“Well excuse me, Mr. To be fair, you calling someone that wouldn’t be out of the question. You have shitty language a lot of the time.” She teases with a smirk.

“That’s it. You’re disowned. I no longer claim you as my little sister.” He says, turning around dramatically and walking away. Marinette’s jaw drops at him. She looks at Adrien who just smirks, and then at Dick who just looks confused with the entire situation.

“What the hell was that? I thought I was the dramatic one.” She pouts.

“Looks like you’ve lost your touch Bug.” Adrien says, crossing his arms. Her eyes narrow.

“Is that a challenge?” She asks. He shrugs.

“Do with it what you will. Just don’t get him in trouble, I think he actually works here.” He says, glancing around the packed lobby. Marinette looks around and sighs. She didn’t want to make a scene with the class, and she definitely didn’t want Jason to get in trouble.

“I’ll get him later.” She mumbles, falling into place on Adrien’s right side naturally. The two walk in sync to the rest of the class, oblivious to the bewildered look given to them by Dick Grayson.

Next

Master list

Tag list (open): @toodaloo-kangaroo @laurcad123 @kittenmywaythrulife @lost-in-the-world-of-maribat

[ughgclden]

congratulations on 700!! I recently found you and your posts are so comforting :)

would it be possible for me to have a 🧸 (male dps and/or marauders) please?

I’m quite short and curvy with round glasses. I love to read fiction and poetry. My favourite musicians are abba and taylor swift. I’m quite introverted around strangers but loud once you get to know me. I tend to romanticise things and love the idea of love. I love making bad dad jokes and puns and have giant african land snails called apollo and artemis. Thank you so much if you get round to doing this <33

ahh thank u so much!!! that’s so sweet omg thank you :’) of course lovely!!

for dead poets society, i’d pair you with…

god, knox would be head over heels for you. he just thinks you’re absolutely perfect from the moment he sees you. firstly, he thinks your height is the cutest thing; being quite tall, he loves to tease you about your height difference, often ruffling your hair or leaning an elbow on the top of your head.

knox thinks your initial shyness is super adorable, but when you open up to him and become a lot louder, he falls hard. he always finds your puns and dad jokes a lot funnier than he should, trying to hide his loud laughs behind a roll of his eyes or a scoff - it never works, and he always ends up in fits of giggles.

we all know knox is a hopeless romantic, so he’ll try to make your relationship perfect. he does it all; handwritten love letters with flowers and poetry, teddy bears and thought out gifts, hand holding, cuddles, dancing in the rain, all that jazz. knox thinks love is incredible and the fact that you do too gives him the motivation to just go all out for you.

he’ll read a lot with you! you’ll take it in turns to lay in eachother’s lap as the other person reads to them, playing around with eachother’s hair - and knox would definitely steal your glasses on multiple occasions.

on one of the occasions knox is reading to you, he reads you a very sweet love poem. once you ask him who it’s by, he gets super flustered and reveals he actually wrote it for you.

thinks your snails are the coolest things ever. at first he was a little scared of them, but now he absolutely loves them.

this boy *loves* abba, so much. this means you have a lot of dance parties to abba. let it be known that knox is a terrible dancer. horrendous.

for the marauders, i’d pair you with…

you and remus would just be perfect together. you'd probably be close friends before you got together, and remus would never quite know why he loved hanging out with you so much, until one day he just looks at you and goes oh. soon enough you end up together, and all is perfect.

remus would always ask questions about what you were currently reading, letting you explain all of the plots and characters to him even if he didn't quite follow along, he'd just look at you with a stupid love sick grin as you spoke.

remus is a huge swiftie, tell me im wrong. this means you listen to taylor a lot, often arguing over her best songs and albums. remus finds himself singing along to her songs even when he's not with you, which always makes him smile to himself.

this boy would definitely try to out-dad joke you. his jokes are horrendous, i mean absolutely awful and they always elicit a groan out of the other marauders when he makes them, but it's worth it to see you let out a laugh.

he'd also be very intrigued by your snails, asking a lot of questions as he watches them do their own thing. he strokes the shells softly when he gets used to them, and becomes really fond of them.

loves seeing you come out of your shell. he's perfectly content for you to be quieter around people you don't quite know, as he feels more honoured that he gets to see the more confident side of you that many people don't

romanticises his life along with you! you'll often do things like late night walks or cosy days in the rain purely for the romanticism of it, and he loves it.

the nicest boyfriend ever i swear, he absolutely adores you.

ahh thank you sm for sending this in lovely!!! im so so sorry it took so long- but i hope its okay!! <33

[dreamescapeswriting]

“The Perfect Love Story” ~ Jimin X Reader

Word Count: 3,891

Warnings: There are hints at Smut in here/Smutty writing, but mostly its cute and fluffy

Genre: Cute || Fluffy || Smutty Hints || SoultmateAU|| Zip Series

Summary:  Soulmates. Some people had one, others had multiple. You had friends who had had multiple soulmates, you, however, had yet to find yours

Soulmates. Some people had one, others had multiple. You had friends who had had multiple soulmates, you, however, had yet to find yours. It wasn’t just a matter of finding someone and calling them your soulmate, there had to be something to connect you, with one of your friends and her soulmate it was a timer on her wrist until the moment they met, another one of your friends had the colour of their hair tattooed on her ankle, every time they would change their hair colour the stripe would change until they met and the colour would fade. Everyone’s was different, but for a while, you thought you didn’t have a soulmate, that you were supposed to spend your time alone, you couldn’t find what your soulmate cue was and what made you so special for someone else, that was until you were in an exam and began drawing on your skin, you’d finished the exam and had nothing else to do. You’d started with small symbols on your wrist and were about to move onto your hand when you noticed another r red ink spot you hadn’t drawn, it was on top of your hand. It began to turn into a drawing with every passing second, when it was finished it was an unfinished love heart, but drawn as a question mark in red ink, you frowned before finishing the heart with your black pen, smiling to yourself. It was nice to have someone to communicate with even if you didn’t know who they were.

Ever since that day you’d been drawing doodles on yourself and whoever was drawing on themselves that would appear on your skin, you’d come to the conclusion that you couldn’t exchange important details with one another, you tried to write your name to him but whenever you’d try it would change the name to something else, same with writing about meeting somewhere, it was as if it wouldn’t allow you to meet up, no mobile numbers could be exchanged, or other ways of communicating except through a pen and your skin as if it was a pad of paper, which sucked but you understood why there was a plan for everything if you were soulmates and it was meant to be it would be, it was just the way everything worked and no one could change that, it was fate after all. You could, however, write small messages to one another, asking about how your day was, all the usual small talk things.

You were a simple girl who studied between working multiple jobs while your soulmate, well your soulmate was none other than Park Jimin who was in a huge band, everyone knew him, everyone knew about his soulmate talent, some had tried to convince him that they were his soulmate but since they failed to produce a matching drawing on his skin he politely told them to leave. Multiple other fans told him to try and announce what his soulmate cue was to the news but again he knew that if it was meant to be it would be and when the time comes it would be perfect.

He was at a meet and greet when you began doodling out of nowhere, you were bored during a “study” session, you were supposed to be studying for an upcoming exam but you were blocked, you wanted to just get away for a little while and escape the boring textbook that was sat in front of you, you grabbed a pen from your pencil case and you started with a small rose drawing and then added a date in roman numerals along the side of it.

“XII.XII.MMXX.”

Jimin watched in Awe as it appeared on his left wrist, a fan in front of him smiled and watched as every petal was drawn carefully, he was mesmerised by it, his eyes lit up the moment the drawing started to come through, he loved when you drew flowers on him, or rather on yourself, you were creative with everything you drew on yourself, everything around him seemed to no matter anymore, even though his fans were important to him and he loved them, he seemed to love you and your drawings more, even though he’d never met you or knew your name, he knew you were meant to be and he loved knowing someone out there was made just for him and was waiting for him to come.

“She’s talented.” The fan said with a smile on her face, Jimin nodded along and then looked at her with a smile, signing her album and talking with her about the new upcoming tour they were going to be doing.

You sighed, getting no response from your soulmate, it happened sometimes. You just assumed he was really busy doing his thing so you didn’t fret about it too much, you just stopped drawing and got on with your studying.

“Was really busy earlier…Pretty rose.” You smiled at the message on your arm and then wrote back to him.

“It’s fine, I got some studying done. Thank you.” You signed it off with a small heart next to the message and then he began writing back,

“What’s the date?” You looked at the date you’d written down and smiled to yourself, it was the day you would finally be free from university, exams and the stresses of being a college student.

“My graduation date, the day I’m finally free.” He chuckled as the words came through on his wrist, he was sitting in the practice room with the boys, all of them watching as Jimin smiled at his arm like a mad man, they knew what was going on and they liked seeing him so happy all of the time.

“Congratulations, remember to stay hydrated.” You smiled at his message, he always did that. He liked to remind you to stay hydrated, or to remember to eat because you did the same to him. He told you once about how he’d forgotten to eat and drink all day because he was so busy and you made it your mission to remind him in creative ways every day, it started with a drawing of a cute water bottle on your hand and the words ‘Stay Hydrated’ along it and then it turned into silly puns to make sure he would remember, which he always loved and would show his friend Jin the puns, a lover of dad jokes.

“Thanks, I always do!! You too!"

A few days later you noticed that the date you’d written alongside the rose wouldn’t come off your skin, it had never happened before. The rose was gone but the date still stayed there, you wondered if it was the same for your soulmate,

"Is the date still there for you?” You wrote down, biting onto the lid of your pen out of nerves, you didn’t know if he was busy or if the date would even still be there for him, you’d tried multiple times to scrub it from your skin in the shower and bath but it was as if it was a real tattoo now, and if it was real, you were glad you’d done it so neatly and not a scribble.

“Yes…It is for you too?” You smiled, that could only mean one thing.

“It is…It’s the day we’re going to meet!” You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, you were in the middle of the library but you didn’t care. The time was finally going to come where you would meet your soulmate, finally find out who he was.

“The day you graduate and the day we meet…Sounds like a big and great day for us.” You smirked at your arm and drew a bunch of love hearts back to him before saying goodbye and leaving the library, it was going to be a weird day, you were going to feel weird about constantly looking over your shoulder in case he was there, or wondering how and when it would even happen…What time could it even happen, and how, were you just supposed to continue as if it was another normal day in your life?

“Jimin, do you have any idea how many schools are going to be graduating today,” Namjoon said looking at Jimin who was looking anxious, the date had finally rolled around and he was nervous about how it was going to go down, how you were even going to meet when neither of you had no idea what each other looked like, he didn’t know which school you were going to or where.

You, on the other hand, were nervous about going up on stage in front of the whole university, and people’s friends and family, you were going to have to go up on stage, take your certificate and leave again, you were freaking out enough as it was. All thoughts of your soulmate and how it was going to go down were out of your mind at the moment, all you could focus on was trying to remember not to fall over when you went up onto the stage, or to try and smile a little instead of having a resting bitch face.

“Y/N!” You turned at the call of your name to see your best friend standing there, she dragged you into a hug.

“We’re all meeting at the cafe near Benson’s, 3! Don’t be late!” She yelled rushing off again, you dragged out a pen from your pocket and jotted it down on your hand, you knew it wasn’t going to appear on your soulmate but you needed to try and remember Cafe near Benson’s and then the number 15, you were hoping it would stay there, you were a sucker for forgetting things and everyone knew it.

“The graduate!” Your friend screamed as you entered the cafe, you giggled as people in the cafe all turned to look at you, you smiled at them as a few clapped and then went to sit on the sofa with your friend who pulled you into a tight hug, you were still dressed in the silk graduation gown, you came straight to the cafe from the celebration.

“You looked great up there!” She yelled again, you wanted to tell her to keep it down but you knew when she was excited there was no quietening her down, she just loved to be loud.

“Thank you, I was so nervous.” You whined looking at her and then over at the door, the bell had signalled someone coming inside, you locked eyes with one of the guys, he was dressed in some ripped blue jeans, a black shirt and was wearing a black beanie, small bits of blonde hair poking through the bottom and black face mask, you frowned a little and then looked down at your friend, your face heating up a little, his eyes were bold and felt as though they were staring right into your soul.

“Oh shit, I gotta take this.” She said excusing herself away from the table and leaving through the door, you took off the silk gown and went up to order a cup of tea.

“Hi, I’ll have a cup of tea please, two sugars. Thanks.” You paid and went to sit back down again, your hands tracing over the date on your arm and smiling. You were about to look away when something started to come through.

“I see you.” You frowned looking up from the drawing to around the cafe, no one was looking in your direction so you took out a pen and began writing back.

“Teasing is no fun.” You signed it with a frowning face and then you heard someone chuckle, you glanced up again but no one was looking.

“Who said I was teasing…” You frowned and then wrote back to him, there was no way he could be here right now.

“Prove it.” You waited for a few seconds but then your friend came back into the cafe, panting about how her boyfriend was back home early from work and wanted to take her out to dinner, you nodded and she hugged you.

“I have to go. I’ll see you later, I love you.” She left and you sipped on your drink, looking back on your arm as she left the cafe.

“Cup of tea, two sugars.” You put the cup down and took the pen out.

“Enough teasing…Who are you?” It was silent in the cafe, you stared down at your arm waiting for something to be written back but there was nothing there.

“Hi.” You jumped a little, looking up to see the one who had walked into the cafe from before, his mask gone now, you glanced at his arm and saw the messages between you both written there, it was surreal finally being in front of him after all this time.

“Hi.” You said back, standing up to greet him, there was an awkward silence in the air, neither of you knew what to say to one another, but he sat down and looked at you.

“I’m Y/n.” You introduced holding out your hand for him to shake, he chuckled and shook it.

“Jimin.” You frowned a little, you knew that name somewhere, it wasn’t a common name.

“I think I know that name.” He looked at you for a second and then you frowned shaking your head,

“Isn’t that the name of that dude, in that Korean band?” He stared at you, a smile on his face as you put it all together.

“Holy shit, you’re him.” He nodded and you looked around nervously.

“Shouldn’t you be like…in hiding or something, you guys are huge.” He looked at you and then over his shoulder.

“It was worth it…I had to see you.” He ran his hand along the outline of the date and you smiled, he looked a little on edge though and every couple of seconds he would look out of the cafe window in case anyone spotted him.

“I can go somewhere else if it’s easier for you.” He looked up at you and nodded at you.

“That would be perfect actually…I have a hotel room nearby, it’ll be easier to talk there.” You nodded, getting up from the seat and going to leave with him, not even thinking for two seconds that he could be a serial killer or worse, but you didn’t care, you felt as if you knew him…connected to him, his hand interlocked with yours, it sent sparks throughout your entire body, you looked at his hand and then up to his face.

“You’re telling me! Fans have seen what I’ve been drawing!” You blushed looking at him, you’d been sat in his Hotel room for the last four hours, doing nothing but talking to one another. Getting to know one another more and more on a personal level.

“I couldn’t help it, some would appear during concerts and meet and greets.” He chuckled, going over to the phone and ordering you both some food to eat, you’d met one of his band members already, Hoseok, he’d come by when he heard Jimin had company and he wanted to meet the one that had drawn a rose on Jimin.

“I can’t believe it finally happened.” He said when he came back over to your side, you looked at him with a smile.

“I can’t believe it either…do these stay now?” You questioned, your fingers tracing the date along his wrist and smiling, he was looking at you, studying your face as you smiled at your handwriting in the numbers, he took in the way your eyes sparkled under the dim hotel room lights and the way your lip twitched right before you were about to laugh at one of his lame jokes, he couldn’t get enough of you.

“Maybe they do, I’ve never met anyone with this style of Soulmate before…Hoseok’s was a weird one.” He said interrupting you from your thoughts, you looked up at him and he continued.

“The first words they were ever going to hear each other say were tattooed across the wrist,” You smiled at him and then looked at the door, someone was knocking on it, room service bringing your dinner.

“If I have to tell this story one more time Jimin I’m going to lose my mind.” You groaned into his shoulder, you were doing a VLive together and a new fan asked how you met. You’d been dating for four years now and every chance he got he would tell the story from start to finish, missing no detail of your love story, he loved getting the chance to tell people about it and the fans did love hearing it.

“It’s the perfect love story…see!” He said pointing at all the love you were getting from Fan’s in the chat, you giggled and looked at him, then to the camera.

“Well it’s getting boring, I feel like we should spice it up…maybe say I rejected you for being so cocky and too flirty with me all of the time.” You joked poking his cheek and then looking through the chat.

“Make it into a book.” Someone said, making you giggle a little more, it would make a very interesting story for someone to read, you Jungkook and Taehyung had come up with the idea of turning it into a comic series one time when you were bored in the practice room, but all you had was rough sketches and an outline for a storyboard.

“Like you would ever reject me.” He chuckled pulling you into a kiss, you pushed him away acting grossed out and then looking out of the window. You were on tour with him, he’d asked you to come on their world tour with him and you couldn’t say no. You were currently in Paris and your hotel room looked right in the direction of the Eiffel Tower, it was sparkling under the moonlight and you smiled to yourself, you could have just sat there looking at it all night

“Say, goodnight baby.” He said bringing the phone over to you to wave bye to, you did and he ended to Vlive, you dropped onto the bed and groaned. You could fall asleep right there if you wanted to but Jimin had other plans for you. He came over and rubbed the bottom of your back, you giggled and looked at him.

“What?” You questioned, turning over and laying your head on his lap, you could have stayed there all night.

“Come on baby,” You groaned and sat up in the bed. You had to go to a small meal with everyone else tonight but you were tired from the plane ride and wanted to sleep the night away, just laying in his arms and not moving.

“Fine,” He chuckled pulling you onto his lap, you bent down kissing him, his hands tangling into your hair and holding you close.

“Baby if you keep kissing me like this we’ll miss the boys.” You whispered to him, but he groaned into the kiss and you got up from his lap, you knew what you were going to do to him for making you go out while you were jetlagged and you were going to enjoy it.

“I’m going to get ready.” You said, going into the bathroom and locking it behind you.

You were wearing nothing but a tight fitted body con dress, it hugged your body perfectly and you knew it was driving Jimin wild, all night his eyes were on you. You were sat next to Namjoon all night so you were having long conversations about his lyrics and the upcoming album they were all working on. You’d always been close with each of the boys, hanging out with them whenever Jimin was busy with practice or when he was in the studio, it was nice to have someone else to talk to.

“I think Jimin wants your attention,” Namjoon said pointing at Jimin, you looked over at Jimin who was staring at you, his eyes burning into your skin, you sent him a smile and went back to talking to Namjoon.

“You wore that on purpose." You saw written across the palm of your hand, you looked over at Jimin and winked, not trying to make it too obvious to everyone else at the table what you were doing. He knew you too well, you did wear this on purpose. He’d brought it for you with the intent of you wearing it in the bedroom for his eyes only, it was a short lace black body con dress, so tight you were supposed to wear it without underwear, it was a little revealing but you wanted to tease him, you loved winding him up.

"Don’t ignore me," You continued to ignore him and moved on from Namjoon to talking with Hoseok, he’d been teaching you how to dance a lot lately and you were asking him to teach you one of their newest ones they’d been learning and he agreed to.

"Fuck I bet you’re naked under that dress right now…just you wait till we get back to the hotel room." You smirked, ignoring him again and leaning onto the table to make it look as though you were reaching for the water jug but giving Jimin a view of down the front of your dress.  

As soon as you got into the hotel room your back was shoved against the wall, your arms pinned above your head.

"You wore it on purpose.” He growled into your ear, you smirked at him and he pushed your wrists harder into the wall, you knew just how to wind him up in all the right ways.

“I don’t know what you mean, it’s just my favourite dress.” You whispered as innocently as possible to him.

“Liar.” He whispered, his lips attaching to your neck and sucking in the right spot that made you weak, you whimpered out, his hands releasing you, your arms wrapped around his neck and you pulled him closer to you, his hands moved down to between your legs and he ran his fingers slowly up your thigh, the tips of his fingers just brushing over your exposed clit and he took in a sharp breath.

“So dirty…practically naked in front of all of the boys.” You groaned, he was going to start talking dirty and that was one of your weaknesses, hearing him saying filthy words for only you to hear.

“Fuck Jimin, I need you.” You moaned to him, it drove him wild hearing you beg for him like that, he ground his hips into yours and you could have melted right there on the spot, you were putty in his hands.

“I should have taken you right there on that restaurant table…Huh? Is that what you wanted?” His fingers were drawing figure eights on your clit and you were already a mess, your legs starting to shake and he’d barely even started.

“Jimin, no teasing. I need you now.” He pulled away, taking you over to the bed and pinning you down onto it, his lips finding their way to your neck again.

“You got to tease me all night baby…I’m only just getting started."

[greenninjagal-blog]

White Lily Guardian (pt2)

Summary: Virgil shows up at a funeral for his distance cousin, but someone forgot to tell him Remy named him the next-in-line guardian of his son Thomas. And taking care of a kid might just been the least of Virgil’s problems when Thomas’s (unpleasant) grandmother is in the mix.

Words: 3035

Part One

Featuring: Virgil, kid!Thomas, Emile Picani, and mentions of the dreaded dragon witch and best dad!remy (along with a car crash)

Taglist: @background-noise-headache @prplzorua @pumpkinminette @puns-and-patton 

General Taglist: @felicianoromano @jemthebookworm

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way,” Picani says, with a hint was resentment in his tone, about an hour after Madam Hydrus had removed herself from the property.

Virgil doesn’t say anything, but he agrees with the older man so much its nearly overwhelming. His mind is alarmingly quiet, his shoulders hunched in anticipation for the onslaught of pure, unadulterated panic he knows is coming: it feels a lot like he’s walking right next to a cliffside with a blindfold on—why is he doing this, why can’t he just take the blind fold off, why can’t he just walk away? Or better yet, why can’t he just fall already?

Then Picani will see that he is unfit to be a parent and he’ll be able to move Thomas to the next family member Remy picked out, someone who isn’t that awful snakelike lady that had made Thomas cry so hard. Thomas doesn’t deserve this, any of it.

He didn’t deserve to have his father taken away so suddenly, to have all these people look down on him with pity, to have someone who terrifies him very nearly take him away. He certainly doesn’t deserve to have someone as awful as Virgil come through and try to make up for everything he lost.

Virgil doesn’t even know what kind of person Remy was, much less what kind of dad. Was he the kind that wanted to be involved in every aspect of Thomas’s life? Did he bake cookies in the kitchen and show up to the PTA meetings and brag about how amazing Thomas was until every other parent hated him? Or was he a recluse? Did he let Thomas come to him with questions rather than go asking for them and never respond to teacher emails or show up to meetings because he knew everything that was important about Thomas already?

Virgil looks down at Thomas, who was tucked into his chest. Virgil is by no means the type of guy who works out, but even then, he can still carry Thomas from the front lawn into the house with only a mild amount of strain (Did Remy carry him like that? Oh, fuck, what if he was carrying the kid wrong?). The house is strangely quiet, and tense and the same feeling settles over them like a knife poised just between Virgil’s shoulder blades. Even Thomas’s sobs become breathless hiccups. Picani motions Virgil to follow him up the stairs and he’s struck by the strange amount of familiarity that the man has for this place.

Who was he again?

A lawyer of some sort? Someone who had access to Remy’s will at least.

Virgil doesn’t remember the upstairs of the house, which is really no surprise. He’d never dare exploring a house that wasn’t his even as an adult. There was something about it that his shoulders tense, waiting for someone to pop out of the rooms and ask him what he was doing. Even with Picani leading the way and Thomas in his arms, Virgil could feel the walls judging him.

There are pictures on the walls, but Picani doesn’t bother turning on the lights and its too dark to see what they are. Somehow that doesn’t help Virgil’s anxiety much.

They come to a room which Picani pushes open and turns on the light. Virgil hesitates to follow. He’s not sure why, because the room is far more inviting than the dark, dreary hallway. Thomas buries his head into Virgil’s shoulder, and it’s a little uncomfortable but he can’t bring himself to complain about it.

Inside the room it’s warm—in all senses of the word. Virgil feels like he stepped into a sauna the second his shoes slip through the doorway. It surprises him, slightly, because he hadn’t realized how cold he was until then. Beside that, its decorated like a kid’s paradise: action figures from several cartoons all over the place—some of which Virgil vaguely remembers from years and years ago with a tiny smile—poster from video games and Disney, and a coffee table had construction papers, glitter, and glue. Picani quickly walks to a rather large wooden desk (decorated in children’s crayon drawings of houses and dogs and blobs that probably meant something to a kid somewhere) and rifles through a stack of papers on the top of it.

When he turns back around, he’s holding a packet of papers that makes Virgil’s insides a little squeamish; it looks like a every instructional manual Virgil has ever been handed. Was this “How To Tell When Someone Is an Unfit Parent for Dummies”? Because Virgil could save them both time and just announce to him that he was the least fit person to be taking care of a kid. He had come to the funeral in a rented suit because he didn’t have one himself, there’s still paint on his knuckles that he couldn’t wash off in time for the service, and he forgets to eat at least twice a day.

Virgil’s childhood was limited to the tabulations of his parents’ moods towards him, but even he knows that he couldn’t take care of a small living human being when he could barely take care of himself most days. It isn’t fair to Thomas.

“Oh, uh,” Picani says, and vaguely motions to a couch that was decorated in handmade quilts, “You can, uh, set him down.”

Virgil feels more than stupid as he shuffles towards the couch and juggles the armful of Thomas that he has in order to set him on the couch. Especially when Thomas doesn’t let go of him and instead tightens his arms around Virgil’s neck.

“Don’t!” Thomas gasps between his hiccups.

“Thomas—” Virgil says softly, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right next to you.”

He shakes with his whole body, and for a long moment Virgil worries that Thomas will never let him go again and they’ll be stuck together like a parasite and it’s host.

“Promise?” Thomas’s voice cracks Virgil’s heart right in half. He can feel the shards of it puncturing his lungs.

“How about this, you can hold my hand while we sit, okay?” Virgil suggests even though his own skin feels feverish and his neck itches where Thomas’s wrists had pressed against him. He can’t remember the last time he let someone touch him (it might have been Remy himself for all he knew).

Thomas’s arms move away, slowly, slowly, and then he buries his head in a blanket before Virgil can even see the tear tracks on his bright red cheeks. Virgil sits down right next to him and its only a second more before pudgy little kid fingers squeeze around his.

Virgil glances up at Picani to find the man watching the two of them with a painful smile. He wipes his eye with the sleeve his dress jacket and resets his glasses with a deep breath.

“I’m really sorry you had to find out this way.” He says again. “Remy was going to contact you this weekend to ask your permission, but he insisted that he needed it written legally sooner than that.”

“Why?” Virgil asks and even he isn’t sure what he means. Why did Remy choose him? Why didn’t Remy tell him sooner? Why did Remy get it legal written down in his will before he asked? Why was Virgil so scared right now?

Picani sighs heavily. He taps two fingers on the packet. “I wish I knew, Mr. Quies.”

Virgil flinches at the use of his last name. He never uses it if he can help it; too many bad memories growing up as part of the Quies family. He never fit in with them, never quite lived up to be anything other than a disappointment for his parents, never enjoyed the way it rolled of so many people’s tongues in a derogatory manner. When he had moved out—and away—he had started using the surname Storm. Virgil Storm sounded better, and it didn’t come with emotional baggage.

Virgil makes a noise in the back of his throat, somewhere between clearing it and trying to say something but not knowing what. He glances at Thomas.

“Picani—”

“Emile, actually, if you please,” He says with a wince.

“Emile,” Virgil corrects himself, “I don’t—Remy and I—I can’t….” He twists his bangs out of his face just to do something with his hand. The man in the half lenses waits patiently for Virgil to articulate himself. “I’ve never taken care of a kid.”

Thomas squeezes his hand tightly. Virgil thinks he lost feeling in two fingers, but he doesn’t try move.

“I’m not the best fit for Thomas’s caretaker. I didn’t even know Remy. We talked one time when we were kids. Are you sure it was me on that will and not someone else?”

Emile leans back against his desk, still careful not to crush any of the drawings. “I’m honestly not sure I’m the right person to ask. Remy and I were good friends, but even then we didn’t talk about everything. When he announced that he was changing his will to remove me as Thomas’s next-in-line guardian I thought it was a joke--”

Virgil’s stomach drops out at the comment. He feels sick again, the rolling nausea sweeping over him like a wave. That sounded right—all of it sounded right. Virgil didn’t know why someone would joke about that, but Remy had to have been joking because Emile was a well put together man, who Thomas knew better than he knew Virgil.

“Thank goodness it wasn’t.” Emile continues, much like a wrecking ball to the train of thought in Virgil’s head. It leaves his ears ringing.

“What?”

This time Emile looks at him with those dark eyes, “I love Thomas. I really do. But I can’t be his caretaker. I’d lose him.”

“Lose him?” Virgil repeats, remembering every time his parents had forgotten him at the supermarket or in the mall and the weekends were he just didn’t go home and no one was suspicious of it.

“Yes, um,” He fixes his glasses, “Due to a few infractions of the law in my childhood, I can’t legally adopt a child. I can run a therapist office,” He waves a hand around the room, “but I can’t have one of my own. Especially not Thomas.”

Virgil isn’t entirely unsure of what to make of that comment. First off Emile Picani looks a lot like a single breeze might knock him down, and the way he had shriveled up at the sight of Madam Hydrus wasn’t helping his case. However, he was also admitting that he at some point broke several laws? Laws that prevented him from taking care of a kid?

But this was Thomas.

“Madam Hydrus,” Emile says lightly. He picks up a figurine of Ursula from his desk and considers it. “She is Thomas’s mother’s mother. Extremely high class. Had she found out her daughter and Remy had been a thing back from Thomas’s birth, she undoubtedly would have put a stop to it. Her daughter—Thomas’s mother and Remy’s girlfriend at the time—died in childbirth due to a complication. Remy took it hard. Madam Hydrus took it harder.”

Emile sets the figurine back down. “She has been trying to gain custody of Thomas since his birth, declaring Remy an unfit parent. Every other week she had lawyers harassing them. I’m not sure what Thomas’s mother told Remy about her, but Remy refused to let her see him, refused to leave his son’s side when the woman was anywhere near.

“I believe her intention was to keeping sending lawyers in an attempt to run Remy out of money. When he no longer could support a child the judge would have to rule in her favor. However, Remy was a business major who knew how to maintain and predict the stock market.” Emile pauses, “That’s how we met actually. I asked him to help me learn the stock market. I’m a terrible student. But Remy tried, so hard. He was a good person. He really was. When my landlord kicked me out, he immediately offered me a few spare rooms here as long as I paid rent.”

Virgil nods, the sick feeling in his stomach bubbling. Beside him Thomas shifts again, quiet, oh-so-quiet. The warmth of the room makes his dress shirt collar stick to his neck.

“When Thomas turned three, Remy asked me to take guardianship of Thomas should anything happen to him. He was paranoid that Madam Hydrus would get tired of sending lawyers and might escalate to sending not-so-polite people. He wanted to make sure that if he did pass unexpectedly there would be someone else lined up to take in Thomas that was not Madam Hydrus.”

Virgil tenses, “What?”

“He—”

“Are you saying Madam Hydrus paid someone to kill Remy?” Virgil says. Oh, and there’s the panic: his foot has slipped off the steady edge of the metaphorical cliff and Virgil is free falling to his death. His lungs feel two sizes too small for his chest, and all the oxygen in the world doesn’t seem to be able to fill them. He rips his hand from Thomas’s and claws at his collar, struggles with the tie that is acting as a noose around his neck.

Remy was dead—Remy was dead because Madam Hydrus had him killed. Madam Hydrus was the same woman that Virgil just told off and then announced he would be taking in Thomas. What was stopping her from having him killed? Virgil was going to end up dead. By this time next week Virgil would be decorated with white lilies and people would be standing in his living room talking about how sad it was that he was gone.

“Mr. Quies! Virgil!” Emile is suddenly by kneeling by his side, “Virgil I need you to breathe with me. Breathe—In, yes hold it! Out….”

Virgil’s had panic attacks before. They normally leave him curled in the corner of his apartment with his own nails clawing through his hair, and his chest aching from too short of breaths. It’s another reason why he’s not fit to be a parent, because how can he take care of a kid when he can suddenly shut down like this. What if there was an emergency and Virgil wasn’t able to protect Thomas?

“In….” Emile says again, and Virgil strains to force his lungs to follow the instruction. “hold….Out….”

It takes a few minutes to calm him back down. It feels like hours. Actually the whole day has felt like eternity, drawing on and on and on. Virgil is suddenly aware that Emile in kneeling in front of him, speaking soothing words that mean absolutely nothing to him.

Thomas…

Virgil glances to his left where the kid had been, fully expecting Thomas to have bolted the second Virgil started acting weird. But he didn’t. Thomas is sitting there beside him, watery eyes and a nose fully of snot that he wipes on his arm.

“Dad… does that too,” Thomas says, between the sniffles.

Oh good, Virgil shares exactly one thing with Remy and it’s his panic attacks.

“Thomas,” Emile says quietly, “Can you grab a cup of water?”

Virgil has half a mind to tell them he doesn’t need a cup of water (He needs to have a chat with Remy and ask him what the hell he was thinking), but Thomas is already up and dashing out of the room. Virgil sinks back into the couch.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Quies—”

“Virgil.” He rasps out because the name is causing him to flinch and he doesn’t have the energy to suppress it anymore. “Virgil, or Storm, or anything that isn’t that name.”

“Virgil,” Emile nods like it isn’t weird at all, “That was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention to my words. Madam Hydrus did not so anything…illegal. The police found no sign of foul play. Remy was driving on too little sleep and he slid off the road, into a tree.”

Which Virgil had read all about in the obituaries online during the flight here. Which he knew was the truth. Which didn’t stop the feeling in his gut from twisting over and over like some mutant alien parasite.

“Remy was paranoid,” Emile says with a sad frown, “But he made up his mind. He wanted someone he trusted who didn’t have a record that Madam Hydrus could exploit in court.”

“Am I…the only one?” Virgil asks.

Emile makes a face that tells him the answer. Of course, he is. That’s why they’re having this conversation. That’s why it’s Virgil’s name on the will and not anyone else’s.

“He left you most of his finances,” Emile says, “As long as you agree to take care of Thomas.”

“I am the least fit person to take care of any kid, Emile,” Virgil reiterates because all the money in the world won’t change that fact.

Thomas scoots back into the room, with a bathroom cup of water that he’s trying very hard no to spill. He gives it to Virgil, before climbing up on the couch next to him again. Before Virgil knows what he’s doing he runs his hand through Thomas’s hair, and the kid almost flops into him.

Emile watches the entire thing with a miniscule smile on his lips.

“I beg to differ, Virgil,” He says, “I think you are the most fit person.”

Virgil isn’t sure what it is about the other man, about the room, about Thomas, but sitting there, exhausted out of his mind, he thinks that Emile isn’t entire right (because after all Remy was the best person to take care of his kid), but Virgil might just be willing to try.

“I’ll get in contact with Remy’s lawyers.” Emile promises.

Virgil nods to show that he heard, but all he can really focus on is the softness of Thomas hair and the weight of the kid on his shoulder. He sinks back into the couch.

“You should get some sleep.”

Virgil is way ahead of him.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching JIBcon videos (part 1 of ?)

Cockles panel

in which Misha still has an unapologetic pee kink and Jensen is way more submissive than I remember him being

03:44pm (may 24th nz)

i legit don’t know if i have the energy to watch and type about this but i’ll try. might pause and come back a different day if i need to

watching this first

“JIB10 - Jensen Jared and Misha panel part1″

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRPKIAeNoFA&ab_channel=thiniassk

-

03:54pm

needed a break already but hi i’m back feeling less sick

LET’S BEGIN

-

03:55

misha: “he was like “let’s do this”... and i went on stage and... jensen went to the bathroom”

pfft

-

FINAL JIBCON??? OH NO??????????? OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

;n;

i’m sad now

aw

-

danella: “some issue backstage, we don’t talk about what happens backstage”

misha: “did he not MAKE it to the bathroom?”

misha !!....

mishaaaaaaaaaa

i wanna squish his face between my hands and just sigh lovingly

kinky little asshole, i love him

-

seriously he’s been on stage less than three minutes, jensen’s not there, and he’s already pulling stories out of nowhere implying that jensen pissed himself 

i can’t even

-

04:02pm

https://youtu.be/fRPKIAeNoFA?t=2m54s

jensen: “do you need help?”

his voice is so gorgeously deep and warm

-

misha: “do you need a pair of dry pants?”

i can’t think of words but

//clutches my head and whines

does jensen have context? does he just get on stage and the first thing he’s asked is whether he needs fresh pants??? whY DOES HE THINK MISHA IS ASKING

-

jensen: “i’m not wearing any pants”

T

THEY

ALL THEY DO IS FLIRT

-

04:08

this was such a soft and submissive hug??????????/ jensen just??? slid up and???? aWWWH

-

AND THEN HE JUST

“I LOVE YOU”

RIGHT OFF THE BAT

OKAY

OKAY I’M ON BOARD

GIVE ME MORE OF THIS X10000

-

jensen: "and there’s a reason i haven’t told you that today”

misha & jensen: “”’cause you/I don’t”

STOP THIS

jensen: “I’M KIDDING”

CEASE AND DESIST

misha: “about what”

EXACTLY

misha looks at jensen like., oh man. :c he laughs after but he’s a tiny bit jilted there. love is always a joke ;<

but also misha gets it, jensen’s a wee bit awkward in front of an audience but he’s MAKIN’ AN EFFORT DAMMIT

-

04:14

they’re sitting so close

-

jensen: “alright, driver, what are we listening to?”

DID HE JUST

(i mean, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole, obviously)

jensen just gave misha the driver’s seat

he’s so goddamn submissive????? i just

i haven’t watched or seen anything with fresh jensen in like. months. MONTHS. maybe a full year since the last jibcon. and i completely forgot he was like this

especially with misha

i know i often interpret dean as submissive but actually?? in comparison to jensen those lil occasional traits are nothing. jensen’s just openly and unapologetically putting misha in charge with words and with the way his body moves

he’s so soft.

SO soft.

-

and when misha doesn’t answer for a few seconds, jensen looks over, first into his eyes, then down to his lips, checking his expression

misha was kinda stiff before but he got stiffer, ponderous

i honestly, HONESTLY didn’t think i’d be analysing body language this time round but i can’t help it, its so obvious to me, more obvious than it ever is with ANYONE else

these two just give off MASSIVE signals, all the time. maybe because they’re actors and they’re not currently acting, but are performing their own selves, so they perform a heightened version of their personality. but there’s so much to see

plus like. you can see in the background how jensen holds the mic. both protective and phallic at the same time. flirty and nervous and relaxed

-

and THEN MISHA SAYS “we’re listening to the song “why are there so many songs about rainbows”

everything is not-so-secretly gay

this is a rainbow bullet train heading for rainbow city and there’s no stopping it

-

04:26

https://youtu.be/fRPKIAeNoFA?t=5m5s

misha pushed the mic down to whisper to jensen, then jensen’s like “no~. no~!!” and then flirty and winky and “teeease”

WHAT DID THEY TALK ABOUT

maybe about how far they wanna go on stage idk. THIRD BASE MAYBE

or how much of season 15 they can talk about

either way misha was tryna keep it private and jensen was literally broadcasting his answers into the mic. jensen is 100% an exhibitionist.

you know what, i love that look he gets in his eyes when he’s flirting with misha in front of people. you know the look. dark eyed, uncontrollable smile, head set a little down. really open shoulders, probably swaying hips, if he’s standing. ugh i love that

but like. i’m pretty sure he flirts different if nobody’s watching. i think if nobody’s watching (or if he doesn’t realise people are watching) he’s just a regular guy talking to his best friend/wife. except his wife is sometimes misha. some of that big smile, definitely some unnecessary touching and preening and back-of-neck-holding

the crazy thing is i’m essentially making that up, but we all know his movements and behaviour with misha so well i don’t think any of us would struggle to imagine it was true

idk

-

04:37

i will never get tired of seeing them lay their heads on each other’s shoulders

also sidenote: in my opinion this is the best beard + haircut combo jensen has ever had

-

04:39

jensen: “misha......... what’s your latest dad joke?”

-

jensen: “we’re telling stories about CARPOOL now”

i love that they already know each others’ stories and jensen’s like OOH THIS STORY and comes back to sit down to listen

-

04:41

crowd: “we love you misha”

jensen: “thanks, misha’s mom!!!”

and then he looks at misha so softly and so lovingly, he’s not joking any more, he just loves misha as much as the rest of us, maybe more

someone called “we love you jensen” but he didn’t react at all because he was appreciating misha, didn’t even blink

(also as i re-read this post i realise he said “misha’s mom” in a way that’s like “hey stop flirting with him, he’s mine” not in a “dear misha’s mother, thank you for giving us misha”)

-

jensen: “you speak in more puns as a dad. yeah~”

the way he says that with a smile and a nod. like he observed that in misha and also in himself maybe

but he just finished misha’s sentence

they are MARRIED

but i for one ADORE puns and even if i was the only one in my year 10 economics class who laughed at my teacher’s puns i STAND BY THAT LAUGH

-

“when salmon spawn in a stream, and then they die, and an otter eats the carcass”

HE’S TALKING ABOUT HOW HE MAKES MORE PUNS NOW

AND HE’S RELATING IT TO THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

MY LOVE FOR HIM GROWS BY THE HEARTBEAT

-

04:48

there we go, hand on the back of the neck/shoulder

-

THE FIRST QUESTION WAS “can you maybe take a sip of the apple juice”

GET DRUNK !!!

AND THEN MAKE OUT !!!!

yes please

jensen looks at misha checks with him, and then says “no!!!!!”

because he knows flirting will happen

BUT THEn MISHA

GETS UP

GET THIS BOY DRUNK

HELL YEAH

nesnej is much flirtier and we all enjoy it

but like. jensen said no but then he shuts his eyes and shakes his head when misha gets up, knowing what’s gonna happen. ‘cause like. he could say no again. but he already consented to misha leading this thing, right? and if misha hands him a drink he’s gonna drink it. that’s just what’s gonna happen.

and he knows misha’s not getting up just to get himself a drink. there’s something very specific about getting jensen drunk. he knows what he’s like drunk. and so does misha.

i just need to enjoy for a moment how jensen’s vehement resistance to getting himself a drink is immediately completely overridden by misha’s choice to get a drink for him, and jensen gives zero argument. the moment misha moves jensen’s gives over to knowing he’s gonna get tipsy

i have literally never in all my life seen anyone as easily and happily submissive as jensen is with misha

-

05:00

HE COULD SAY NO. HE COULD SAY NO

BUT MISHA DOESN’T EVEN FORCE HIM HE JUST OFFERS IT AND SAYS NOTHING

AND JENSEN GOES “awww mannnn” buT THEN TAKES IT with an “alright~” before he’s even done complaining. as though the complaints were all a farce to begin with and he was eager to say yes?? maybe he likes being drunk and flirting with misha, no surprises there. maybe the look he gave misha before saying “no!” was a permission look saying “yes but only if you make me”? they clearly communicate a lot unsaid, i wouldn’t be surprised by that either

i swear to god this is a sex scene. i’ve written this but with water instead of booze. nobody can convince me they don’t do this in private, drink a lot so they need to pee and get drunk and flirty. *o*

and i am kind of reeling right now. i should sound like i’m making this up but OH BOY THE WAY THEY TALK. THE WAY MISHA OBSESSES WITH PEEING (and has done so consistently for years, especially with jensen). THE WAY HE JUST HANDS JENSEN AND DRINK AND JENSEN TAKES IT. misha wants jensen flirty and REMEMBER THAT TIME HE WAS DIRECTING AND HE MADE JENSEN DRINK THE SAME DRINK ON CAMERA 20 TIMES OVER

-

jensen watches misha drink first

and then he drinks

-

i’m so wrecked by all of this right now

legitimately

their energy is so sexually charged??? and so comfortable and so loving

this is not at all the same aggressive sexual energy jensen brings to the stuff we see in the gag reel, i.e. “pranks” i.e. flirting. but it has equal magnitude imo, it’s just quieter because he’s being himself, not dean (and jared’s not there)

misha knows jensen so damn well and even that bullshit about whether or not jensen loves him was understood to mean “i do but i’m self-concious about being firm about it in front of an audience” and then jensen shows his love instead of saying it (but even then he made a point of saying it straight away)

but oh LORD the biggest thing i’m getting from this so far is that jensen is indeed misha’s princess-slash-cabin boy. and we should never ever doubt that misha used those terms in an affectionate, dominant sort of way. (on the one hand i’m wary about the use of a ~feminine~ term as a means of domination, in general, but on the other hand, I AM SOOO INTO IT for them specifically. maaaay have written "princess” into a destiel fic that one time)

-

anyway where was i

oh yeah jensen just agreed to get drunk because misha wants him to

-

05:25pm

you know what, i’m gonna stop here and come back maybe tomorrow. i didn’t finish this video yet but there’s still a part 2 of this panel, and then other panels and i’m definitely not getting through them all today, these last 11 minutes of footage have taken me almost 2 hours to watch

i’ll post more of my reactions under #Elmie watches things so ... stay tuned!!

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Sweet Pea//Perfect Moment

“Fuck!” You whispered to yourself and stood up. “Fuck!” You muttered again and paced the bathroom floor. How can this be happening? You asked yourself and mentally cursed yourself for not being safer. Even though you and Sweet Pea had been together for a few years you had never discussed children and the prospect of having them, which now you wished you had done when you first started to date, that way you would know where you stood with him. You took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom. He was going to have to find out eventually and you would rather it be from you instead of finding the poorly hidden pregnancy test. You were half way down the stairs when you paused hearing not just Sweet Pea but Toni and Fangs. You had forgotten that they were coming over tonight. “Just great.” You were about to go back upstairs when Fangs asked Sweet Pea a very important question. 

“So, do you think you and Y/n will ever have children?” 

“Err. Not right now. Some day probably but I’m not ready. We’re only in our early twenties we have so many other things to do first, stuff that having a baby would hold us back from.” He replied, not looking up from the video game they were playing. 

“Shit!” You whispered and tried to hold back your tears. 

“What about Y/n? Does she want children?” Toni asked, and nudged Fangs slightly so he would be distracted enough so she could win.

“I dunno. We haven’t really talked about it. She probably feels the same as me. She would agree that we are too young. And like I said we have other things to do before having a baby.” He continued and you decided you couldn’t take any more. You needed to leave for a few hours. You took a deep breath and walked down the rest of the stairs, smiling at Fangs and Toni once you had walked fully into the living room. 

“I know I said that I would hang out with you all but Betty is having a crisis and she needs some cheering up so I said I would go over.” You rushed and quickly grabbed your coat and shoes. 

“Are you okay babe?” Sweet Pea asked concerned and your heart broke. 

“Yeah fine!” You replied trying to seem cheery. “I’ll see you later.” You forced a smiled and kissed his cheek. “It was nice seeing you guys. I promise we will hang out together soon.” You rambled quickly and then practically sprinted out of the door and into your car. 

“Is she okay?” Toni asked and Sweet Pea shrugged. 

“I honestly have no idea. She’ll talk to me when she gets back though, I know she will.” He reassured her and smiled at the thought of you. 

“Anyway, what other things do you have to do before you have a baby?” Fangs asked curiously. 

“Well. Promise me this doesn’t leave this room.” 

“Serpents promise.” Fangs and Toni said at the same time and they all laughed slightly. 

“Okay.” He nodded his head and then took a small box out from under the sofa. 

“Holy fuck!” Fangs whispered. 

“Awww. You’re gonna ask her to marry you.” Toni added and smiled at her best friend. 

“Of course I am. I love her more than I love life itself. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.” He rambled and Fangs and Toni smiled at him. 

“So, when are you going to ask her?” Toni asked. 

“I dunno. Thats the problem, I can never find the right moment.”

“How long have you had that ring?” Fangs asked. 

“Almost a month.” 

“Awwwww.” They both cooed and then laughed at him. 

“Shut up. I need your help.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Betty, I need your help.” You told her frantically once she answered the door. She looked annoyed for a second and then saw the panic on your face and quickly ushered you in. 

“Sure, whats wrong?” She asked worried as you made your way into the living room. 

“We have a problem.” 

“A problem? What kind of problem?” She asked again. 

“A pea sized problem. Pun intended.” 

“Huh?” She asked, more confused than anything. 

“I’m pregnant.” You whispered and her eyes widened. 

“Thats great. You and Sweet Pea are going to be great parents.” She smiled at you and you shook your head. 

“Sweet Pea doesn’t want kids. At least not yet. He said he wasn’t ready and that there are other things he wants to do before having children.” You replied and started to cry. She wrapped her arms around you and pulled you towards her. 

“Its okay. He was probably just in shock. Its not everyday you find out you’re going to be a dad.” She tried to reassure you. 

“He doesn’t know yet.” You cried harder and she hugged you tighter. 

“How do you know that he’s not ready yet then?” She asked, confused again. 

“I heard him talking to Fangs and Toni about it. Fangs asked if we were going to be having kids anytime soon because we have been together for a while and he said that he wasn’t ready yet because he has things he wants to do before and that we are too young. How am I going to tell him?” You cried and Betty looked at you sympathetically. “What am I gonna do?” You asked. 

“You’re gonna have to tell him. This baby isn’t going to go away anytime soon, no matter how much you pretend. He deserves to know and if he decides to be an idiot and leave then thats his problem and he doesn’t deserve you or the baby, plus you would have all of us so you wouldn’t be alone if you decide to keep the baby.” She started and you cried harder. “But, I don’t think he will do that, I think he will be surprised at first but I know he loves you so much and he will love this baby too. He would step up and be a dad, because he wouldn’t want this kid growing up without a dad like he did.” She continued and you calmed down a bit, nodding slightly. 

“Yeah.” You took a deep breath. “I suppose so. But what if he says that we are too young? And what about all of these things that he wants to do before having a baby?” 

“You’ll just have to discuss that when you talk to him.” She replied and you nodded again. “Now, we’re going to watch a film to calm you down and then you are going to go home and tell Sweet Pea, okay?” She asked. 

“Yeah.” You nodded and smiled slightly at her. “Thanks.” 

“No problem. Now what do you wanna watch?” 

“Surprise me.” 

“Hmmm.” She wondered while she looked through the films on Netflix. “What about What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” She laughed and you hit her lightly with a pillow. 

“Shut up Cooper.” You replied and she smiled sweetly at you. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Sweet Pea!” Toni called from the upstairs bathroom. 

“Yeah?” He shouted back. “Fuck. That was unfair I was distracted.” He sighed angrily.

“Suck it. I won!” Fangs cheered and did a small victory dance beside him while Sweet Pea cursed under his breath. 

“SWEET PEA!” Toni shouted making Fangs and him jump. 

“WHAT TOPAZ! THIS BETTER BE WORTH IT BECAUSE I JUST LOST TO FOGARTY. AND EVERYBODY BEATS HIM.”

“Its worth it all right.” She replied and walked down the stairs. 

“What is it?” He asked. “What have you got in your hand?”

“I think I know why Y/n ran out before.” She sighed. 

“What? Why? Is she okay?” He asked concerned and walked towards Toni.

“Congrats.” She smiled awkwardly and handed him the small stick that she had found upstairs. Sweet Pea looked at her confused before looking at what she had handed him. 

“Holy fuck.” He whispered. “I’m gonna be a dad.” He continued, barely audible. Fangs just looked between Sweet Pea and Toni with a confused look on his face. “I’m gonna be a fucking dad!” He cheered and Toni smiled at him. 

“Holy shit dude. I’m so happy for you!” Fangs chimed in and hugged him. Toni laughed at them both until Sweet Pea pulled away quickly. 

“Shit. I already fucked it up.” He sighed and sat down. 

“What do you mean. You only just found out and she isn’t even here, I don’t know how you did it that fast.” Fangs replied and sat down beside him. Toni rolled her eyes at him and sat down on the other side. 

“What are you talking about?” Toni asked and Sweet Pea took a deep breath. 

“I said I wasn’t ready to be a dad, and then two seconds later she comes running down the stairs and practically sprints out of the door. She must have heard me say that. God I’m an idiot.” He muttered angrily and Fangs patted his shoulder.

“Its okay. I’m sure she knew what you meant.” Fangs replied, trying to make him feel better. 

“But she wouldn’t have. All she would have heard is me say that I’m not ready for a baby, right after she has just found out she is pregnant. How the hell did I fuck it up before she even told me. Only I could so that. I’m gonna be an awful dad, just like mine. And I always said I would never end up like my dad.” He said sadly and Fangs and Toni hugged him. 

“You listen to us sky scraper.” Toni started. “You are going to be the best dad ever, better than any of ours, because you know what its like to not have a dad, you know how shitty that is. And Y/n and the baby are so lucky to have you, and you’re so lucky to have them. Yeah, you may not be ready, but who really is ready to be a parent. You learn on the job, but the best thing is, is that you and Y/n are going to be doing it together. And you will have all of us. I can already sense Cheryl looking at red baby things and she doesn’t even know yet. This baby is already so loved, and thats just by its parents.” She continued and Fangs nodded along. 

“And all the things that you would want to do before you have a baby, are going to be so much more fun when you do have a baby because there is someone else to enjoy it.” Fangs added and Sweet Pea smiled at them. 

“Thanks guys.” He smiled. 

“No problem, daddy.” Fangs teased. 

“I told you, don’t call me that unless we’re in the bedroom.” Sweet Pea joked and Toni rolled her eyes. 

“Lets continue playing this game before the sexual tension gets any worse.” Toni joined in and they all laughed. 

A few hours later, you slowly walked through the front door. 

“I’m back.” You called out. 

“Hi babe.” Sweet Pea greeted you quickly and practically jumped out of his place on the sofa. The game that the three of them were playing abandoned. 

“It was nice hanging out with you.” Fangs started awkwardly. 

“Yeah. We’ll see you around. Have a nice night.” Toni finished and smiled at both of you before they left. 

“Did you fix Bettys crisis?” Sweet Pea asked and sat back down. 

“Huh? I mean yeah, yeah. Its fixed now.” You smiled slightly and sat down next to him. “Did you have a nice nice?” You asked and he nodded. “Good, thats good.” 

“I didn’t mean what I said.” He blurted out and you looked at him concerned. 

“What?” 

“I didn’t mean what I said, before you went out. About not being ready for a baby. Well I did, but not anymore. I would love to have a baby with you.” He rambled and you started to cry. “Wait. Did I get this wrong. Is this Topaz playing a trick on me to get me in trouble with you. I’m sorry. And I’m so confused.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” You sobbed and he hugged you. “I was going to I promise, but I heard you talking to Toni and Fangs and you said you weren’t ready and I panicked and I don’t know what to do.” You cried harder and he hugged you even more. 

“Its okay baby.” He shushed you and kissed your head. “I love you and this baby so much you have no idea. I thought I wasn’t ready to be a dad, I thought I wouldn’t be ready for years but then Toni found your test and I realised how ready I was to start a family with you. Even though its scary and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing, and who knows I may not be ready to be a dad. we may not be ready to be parents, but who really is. I don’t think anybody is truly ready to be in charge of this tiny human that depends on your for everything but I know that we will be able to do it together because we love each other and we love this tiny baby more than life its self and we have both only known about it for half a day. I love you so much Y/n, and I want to have a family with you, so will you marry me?” He asked nervously and pulled a box out from under the sofa, making you laugh in-between sobs. 

“Yes.” You nodded happily and he smiled at you, then put the ring on your finger. “How long has that been under there for?” You asked. 

“Almost a month.” He shrugged and you laughed again. “I wanted the moment to be right.” 

“Was it?” 

“Yeah. I found the perfect moment.” He smiled and placed his hand delicately on your stomach. 

I’m sorry I am taking so long to answer requests and post next parts to imagines, I have been having a couple of bad days and have been finding it difficult to write, but I’m hopefully getting better and things should be posted soon. So until then have this cute imagine that I wrote a while ago!!!!

[vincent-frankenstein]

To My Heart and Soul

[ 1 | 2 | 3 | you are here | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | read on AO3 ]

Warnings: major character death, villain/abusive deceit, blood, fighting, panic attacks, creepy imagery

Pairings: logince, hints of moxiety, a tiny smidge of remile and past abusive anxceit

“What are you reading?”

They stood before a nondescript little cafe, wedged into a street corner. The garden out from buzzed with bees and butterflies and friendly patrons, and the air buzzed with the scent of coffee and freshly-baked pastries. Logan’s breath hitched in his throat and he tugged at his tie, trying to choke the broken glass back to his chest where it belonged.

He sighed, barely offering the stranger a glance. “I am doing my homework. Can I help you?”

The stranger dropped into the chair beside him, looking over Logan’s shoulder at his biology textbook. He couldn’t have been older than Logan himself — his deep brown face round and youthful and sprinkled with a constellation of freckles, his curly hair soft and resplendent beneath the afternoon sun. “You look interesting.”

“This is it,” Patton said, setting his hands on his hips. His strange, fantastical outfit stuck out like a sore thumb, but no one paid him any mind, their gazes simply sliding over him like he didn’t exist. “The entrance to the magical world.”

Logan barely heard him.

“I’m Roman!” the stranger said, in a voice like the sunrise, as he fixed Logan with his blinding green gaze. “Roman Cygnus.”

“Logan,” he said indifferently, ignoring the way the boy’s smile made his heart kick into overdrive. “Now, would you mind leaving me alone? I’m in the middle of something.”

He didn’t leave Logan alone, not then, not ever. Logan didn’t mind nearly as much as he’d pretended to. Roman was the first to see him for him and not look away. Even now, in death, he refused to leave Logan be — through memories, through dreams, he was always there, a reminder of what Logan once had.

A reminder of what he’d lost.

His vision tunneled. His hands tightened around his tie. He couldn’t push the memories away, try as he might, and just the hint of Roman’s voice threading through his thoughts sent ice through his veins.

“Logan?” He shook himself from his stupor to find Patton staring at him, eyes full of concern. Clarity broke through the fog in his mind and he shook his head, clasping his hands firmly behind his back to hide the way they shook.

“Apologies,” he said, evenly. “I am fine.”

Patton raised an eyebrow. “You don’t look fine, kiddo,” he said softly. “What’s going on?”

Ah. It seemed Patton had the same ability Roman had, to see right through his unaffected exterior into the less desirable mess within. How fun. “I —” Logan cleared his throat. “This is where we first met. Roman and I, I mean. I was simply… lost in memories. I apologize.”

“Oh.” Patton’s face softened further, if that was even possible. The man seemed to be made of softness. “He used to hang out here all the time,” he said, holding the clasp at his throat again. “He’d come home and tell the whole family about his adventures in your world. He loved it here.”

“Did he ever —” Logan’s voice caught and he stopped himself, staring resolutely at the ground.

“He did. All the time.” Patton smiled, and this time it reached his eyes, warm nostalgia swirling through the sadness in his gaze. “You were his greatest adventure of all.”

And oh, if that didn’t take the broken glass and shatter it further, crush it into dust to crawl up his throat and choke him. He shook his head as Patton moved into the alley beside the cafe, forcing memories — a smile, a ring, a lilting voice; “will you be my greatest adventure, stardust?” — away as he followed. It hit him, then, that Patton really knew Roman, more than Logan had.

And that hurt, of course, but… it felt nice, to talk to someone who knew what sort of light the world had lost. The cold in his lungs began to ebb away, and a hint of warmth took its place, almost burning it its newness.

“Stand back,” Patton said, his hands glowing again, casting warping shadows across the wall and bathing them both in stark blue light. He placed his palms against the dirty wall, and liquid gold spread from his touch, dripping down the wall, sliding in curves and swirls and beautiful arcs to form a twisting circle of symbols and runes. He drew his hands back and pushed into the center of the circle, and the wall fell inwards on itself in a swirl of drywall and wind, leaving a glowing entranceway burned into the bricks.

Logan gaped. For once, words failed him. In his shock, he hadn’t really considered how exciting this all was; a new world, with so many new things to be learned, so many new discoveries to be made. That familiar buzz of curiosity jumped to life within and he found himself smiling, eyes shining with possibilities.

Patton giggled. With a snap of his fingers, the residual magic dusted across his hands puffed out around them, and he gathered it into a soft, glowing ball by weaving his hands through the air. “Guess you found that pretty en-light-ening,” he joked, flicking the ball at Logan. It popped across his nose, showering him in sparkles.

He sneezed. “I am choosing to ignore that,” he said sharply, brushing a finger along his cheek. It came away covered in glitter, which glimmered for a moment before vanishing into thin air, leaving only warmth in its wake. Patton only laughed harder.

“Aw, c’mon, teach! I think I deserve a Patton the back for that one!”

“Was — was that a self-referential pun?”

“Maybe.” Patton winked slyly and Logan’s eye twitched. “Okay! Let’s get goin’. I’ve gotta gather the Council before everyone leaves for the day.”

“The Council?” Logan asked, running his fingertip along the molten gold still dripping down the wall.

“Yeah! The Arcane Council,” Patton explained. “A group of representatives from each major magical community across America. They run our world, and handle relations with yours. I’m the leader of the New York branch!”

“Really?” They stepped through the gateway, and into a tiny little shop, sheltered under a bright fabric awning. It was mostly empty, save for a friendly-looking shopkeep who waved at Patton as they made their way through.

“Yep! I wasn’t supposed to be, though.” He shrugged, eyebrows furrowing just the slightest bit. “Roman was. But he gave up his title to be with you, so I had to take his place. It’s okay, though! I get to keep everyone in magical New York safe! I”m like — like New York’s dad.”

Logan frowned. “Why… why did Roman give up his title?”

“Well, there’s not that much magic in your world,” Patton explained. “Not enough for us to stay for long, at least. We need it to survive. By giving up his magic, Roman could stay in your world, with you, but he can’t exactly protect New York from there! So he gave up his title to me.”

“He… did that for me?” For all the time Logan had known him, Roman clung to the idea of magic, from fantasy novels to Disney movies and everything in between. He loved it. Why would he give that up for a boring world, for a boring man?

“Well, yeah,” Patton said. “He loved you.”

Logan didn’t — couldn’t — respond. His throat closed up, his voice dying before he could even formulate the words. He knew that. He knew that. Why did it hurt so badly to hear?

Together, they stepped out of the shop, and out onto the street beyond — and the air was knocked from Logan’s lungs. His eyes widened, his mouth hanging open in awe. A city of stained glass glimmered back at him beneath a bright afternoon sun, iridescent, resplendent. Vaguely, he recognized the layout, knew it to be identical to the New York from his own world, but the beauty before him was impossible to reconcile with the busy, dirty city he knew. A small crowd milled about in the cobblestone streets, bathed in a kaleidoscope of colors reflecting off the buildings.

And above the buildings, blazing bright enough to be seen even in the afternoon sunlight, was a familiar constellation that sent a pang through his heart. Cygnus. Around it glimmered others, fainter but still beautiful, stars and constellations that he didn’t recognize. The mere idea of a whole new cosmos to learn about filled his heart with wonder.

“This is… fascinating,” he breathed, eyes wide and filled with awe. “How is this even possible?”

“It’s another layer of reality,” Patton said. “Layered on top of yours, sorta? I’m not the best at explaining. When we’ve got everything sorted out, I can take you to Professor Ceres at the university! He studies the magical dimensions.”

“There’s a university?” Logan’s brain had shifted into overdrive, a million questions bursting like fireworks in his mind. “This — I — I want to learn everything.”

“Well, someone’s enthusiastic!” Patton chuckled, patting Logan on the back. “Let’s just take things one step at a time, okay, kiddo? First things first, we’ve gotta find the council and figure this whole mess out.”

“Right. Yes. Of course.” Logan’s cheeks darkened and he cleared his throat. “Apologies.”

“It’s okay! I can’t imagine being in your shoes right now,” Patton said with an easygoing laugh. “This place really is something, huh?”

“Yes,” Logan said. He shook his head to clear away his questions, noting them away for later. Only one remained, a burning question that he couldn’t wait to ask. “May I ask you one thing, before we see the council?”

“‘Course, kiddo!”

“Who is Dorian?”

Patton’s whole demeanor shifted. All at once, he seemed smaller, hunching in on himself. His eyebrows furrowed. “Someone who I thought was dead,” he said quietly.

“Yes, so you’ve said. You… you seem so… frightened, of him,” Logan continued. A part of him felt bad for pressing Patton, but he needed answers. “Was he a bad person?”

“Well… yes,” he said, forcing the word out as if it hurt to say. “He wasn’t always, but… after Roman died, he hurt a lot of people. He tried to take my title, thought it was his ‘right.’”

“Why would he think that?”

Patton sighed. “Because it was,” he said, hugging himself. “Dorian was my brother.”

[artnerd1123]

What's your favorite headcanon for each of your characters?

sldkfjskl tumblr ate the first time i tried to answer this--

but!!! that’s a long list, and it’s def goin undercut. i’m more ‘n happy to ramble bout all this n answer it tho :D

Aiden: for him, it’s just the headcanon that he is A Dad (tm). ik its simple, but the thought of him telling dad jokes, taking care of his bois, and just being that cool casual father figure makes me v happy ^^

Roo: his is split??? but it’s either him having freckles, being easily flustered, or acting like a literal cat when faced with little scraps of stuff a cat would play with

Evangel: i... don’t really have favorites for her, tbh. tho it’s prolly the fact that she’s attracted to cold stuff. prolly cuz it’s a polar opposite (hehe puns) of what most people associate with safety (aka warmth)

Seraph: aw dang, i like a lot of things about her... it’s either her bleating/chirping occasionally, or how she loves singing! she’s jus a gal who’s doin her best and bein musical! 

Journal: country/cowboy journal, hands down!!! it’s really entertaining for some reason sldkfjslkf

Ruffy: baby boi likes to knit, and knits stuff for his friends. it’s jus so wholesome ;w; 

Nettles: pirate nettles. just. her whole pirate past deal. i love it a lot lsdkjfs

Molly Lily: either the fact that she’s a huge flirt, or that she likes spicy food. both of these make me laugh, tho for different reasons (the last one relating to her curse-- i promise it’s hilarious when u think about it XD)

Creschendo: the fact that he can talk, he jus prefers to scream instead :V

Nefrius: i don’t have many for him yet, but... prolly that he likes curling up on molly lily’s lap, and only molly lily’s lap. In fact, she’s the only human who’s really allowed to touch him.

Berimont: the reason he’s so against dark magic, even though he needs it to eat, is because he’s been unable to see it as anything but destructive and horrible, hurting all that’re involved in it. it’s deep and important to him. 

Mara: prolly her venomous tail! which has had exactly no action, ik, but the fact that she’s got poison just... good. in a devilish sort of way. 

Blaize: they’re a hothead with a good heart, but that hotheadedness gets in their way, and makes them do stupidly reckless things sometimes. even if it is cool, they’re gonna need to learn from that rashness!

Clancy: grump with a heart of gold. jus the idea of him being snippy and :/// normally, but turning into a fawning softie once u know how to butter him up makes me happy ;w; 

aaaand that’s all of em!!! hope u enjoy all these headcanons! ik i do ;w; 

[abitscripturient]

Hikaru

Body and Appearance

1. Describe the character's height and build. Is he heavyset, thin, short, rangy? Hikaru is about 5'8. He's slender with a muscular body especially around his abs, chest and arms.  2. How old is he? 28 3. Describe his posture. Does he carry himself well or does he slouch? Hikaru never slouches; his father looks down on it. Also his training has taught a certain way to carry himself.  4. How is his health? Is he fit or out of shape? Any illnesses or conditions? Any physical disabilities? Hikaru is in great shape. He runs every morning and tries to eat well. He has no known illnesses. 5. How does he move? Is he clumsy, graceful, tense, fluid? At first glance, Hikaru would see like he was always tense, but really from his martial arts training, he could be quite fluid and quick on his feet if need be. 6. How attractive is this character physically? How does he perceive himself in the mirror? He is very attractive; he definitely lucked out with his parents genes and girls are always trying to be around him. However, he doesn't let this get to his head and he sees himself as a normal looking man. 7. Describe his complexion. Dark, light, clear, scarred? Light skin-slightly tanned. No imperfections or scars.  8. Describe his hair: color, texture, style. He has black short hair, slightly shaved in the back but in the front its longer and he either leaves it down or uses gel to slick it back. 9. What color are his eyes? Dark brown 10. Does the character have any other noteworthy features? Huge bright smile that people rarely see nowadays. 11. What are his chief tension centers? His shoulders, from sitting at his desk for a long time. 12. What is the character's wardrobe like? Casual, dressy, utilitarian? Bright colors, pastels, neutrals? Is it varied, or does he have six of the same suit? Hikaru dresses like a gentleman majority of the time. He is a suit man especially a black suit man. He wears a suit to work but wears a white doctor coat over his dress shirt.  13. Do his clothes fit well? Does he seem comfortable in them? Yes, they always fit well; he sees to it that they do and that they are comfortable because he bought them and they weren't cheap. 14. Does he dress the same on the job as he does in his free time? If not, what are the differences? Even when he's not in classy dress mode, he still still dresses well in cargos , khakis, jeans etc. Though from time to time he still wears a suit, depending on how he's feeling. 15. You knew it was coming: Boxers, briefs or commando? Boxer briefs are Hikaru's underwear of choice. Speech 1. What does this character's voice sound like? High-pitched, deep, hoarse?  Deep and soothing.  2. How does he normally speak? Loud, soft, fast, evenly? Does he talk easily, or does he hesitate?  He talks loudly when things have especially irritated him, but other than that Hikaru is a pretty calm speaker. 3. Does the character have a distinct accent or dialect? Any individual quirks of pronunciation? Any, like, you know, verbal tics? Hikaru has a definite accent which he tries to taper down while working or in front of his American friends. 4. What language/s does he speak, and with how much fluency?  He is fluent in both Japanese, his native language and in English because his father wanted him to learn in case he had to take over his medical office in America. 5. Does he switch languages or dialects in certain situations?  He speaks Japanese while with his family at home, English in professional settings and English with Aija though he is trying to teach her certain words. 6. Is he a good impromptu speaker, or does he have to think about his words?  He is a good speaker. He never has to think about his words and tries to be as professional with them as he can. He tries to do this often with his patients. 7. Is he eloquent or inarticulate? Under what circumstances might this change?  He is as Aija told him impeccable with his English. That goes for writing as well. Though he rarely gets mixed up if somebody is talking in Japanese to him while somebody is talking in English and gives a mixed up word once in a while but he clears it up and goes on with his business. Mental and Emotional 1. How intelligent is this character? Is he book-smart or street-smart?  Hikaru is quite smart. His father wanted him to take many classes growing up: His mother made sure he did good in school and made sure he had the best tutors available to help him. 2. Does he think on his feet, or does he need time to deliberate?  He does both really depending on the situation. 3. Describe the character's thought process. Is he more logical, or more intuitive? Idealistic or practical?  Really its both...for example when it comes to his job, Hikaru is always logical. He doesn't want a mistake made because of a gut feeling. But when it comes to personal matters, he can be intuitive. He knows what he wants and doesn't want. He is more practical. 4. What kind of education has the character had?  Hikaru graduated early at fifteen. Then he went to college for the four years and also medical school for eight years. 5. What are his areas of expertise? What, if anything, is he interested in learning more about?  Medicine, martial arts, business, violin and etiquette. He wants to learn more ways of cooking as he is always intrigued when Aija is cooking something new. 6. Is he an introvert or an extrovert?  Introverted majority of the time, but Hikaru does love spending time with his friends when he can. 7. Describe the character's temperament. Is he even-tempered or does he have mood swings? Cheerful or melancholy? Laid-back or driven? At first glance, Hikaru looks like he always has a stick up his ass. He's very quiet and to himself especially at work. Aija finds out that it's because of his father and that before he came to America he was happy go lucky and fun. She is currently working on bringing that Hikaru back to the surface. 8. How does he respond to new people or situations? Is he suspicious, relaxed, timid, enthusiastic?  Hikaru can be very judgmental. Aija had has her share of him making wrong assumptions of her a couple of times. He doesn't always mean to be but since he is always in his head thinking, he really doesn't realize that he's thinking outwards toward the person as well. 9. Is he more likely to act, or to react?  Act. He does 10. Which is his default: fight or flight?  Hikaru will always try the peaceful route first; he knows that he can kick ass, but doesn't want to do so unless he really has to. 11. Describe the character's sense of humor. Does he appreciate jokes? Puns? Gallows humor? Bathroom humor? Pranks? Hikaru now has a witty kind of humor but back in the day when he was hanging with his friends, he was happy with all kinds of humor and was even quite the prankster. 12. Does the character have any diagnosable mental disorders? If yes, how does he deal with them?  No.  13. What moments in this character's life have defined him as a person?  His dad's lack of appearance made him more of a man at a earlier time. He was free to do as he wanted at first and during that time he was happy and friendly, but when his dad came back and told him to earn back the family honor by working with him in America it turned him into a stoic and cold man. 14. What does he fear?  Not ever having the freedom he wishes for. He wants to be his own person. 15. What are his hopes or aspirations?  To have his own medical office. To find a cure for cancer. 16. What is something he doesn't want anyone to find out about him?  That he pretty much was a delinquent back in Japan as a youth and almost brought dishonor on his family. Also that he was almost killed trying to save Briseis from Takumi's evil cousin and the Yakuzas.  Relationships 1. Describe this character's relationship with his parents.  Hikaru has a god awful relationship with his father, Ryutaro. Ryu was never around his family much when Hikaru was young, because he was so into his work and the family business instead of them. Because of that Hikaru never bonded much with him and the only reason he speaks with him at all is because he is trying not to dishonor his family more than he already has and only works with him because of that reason also. When they do speak to each other, it's forced and tense between the two. Hikaru has no problem tuning his dad out if he needs to and that ticks Ryu off more than anything. He expects Hikaru to respect him as if he's some kind of king and not his father. Hikaru's relationship with his mother is better though he's not lovey dovey with her. Chinatsu knows that Hikaru is hurting inside because of his father's disregard for him and so tries to spend a lot of time with him when she can. They go out and do things together and have talks. But he knows that his mother would do anything for his father so he distances himself from Chi at times too. 2. Does the character have any siblings? What is/was their relationship like?  Hikaru has a younger sister in college named Asami who is 7 years younger than he is. They have a really close relationship. So much so that when Asami came down to visit her family from school, she chose to stay in Hikaru's one bedroom condo instead of in the family house. They joke and talk a lot and he's very protective of her. 3. Are there other blood relatives to whom he is close? Are there ones he can't stand? He has a very close relationship as well with his grandfather, Ryunosuke who is dying of cancer. When Hikaru found out that his grandfather was dying, he changed his choice from being a pediatrician to an oncologist. Yuno was proud of all that Hikaru did in his life and when he found out that his father forced Hikaru to be here to work for the business and leave Aija, he told him to go with his heart and do what he wanted to do with his life. 4. Are there other, unrelated people whom he considers part of his family? What are his relationships with them?  Akane. He sees her as another sister. After having a slight crush on her, he decided that what he was really feeling was a sibling kind of feeling. 5. Who is/was the character's best friend? How did they meet?  Takumi is Hikaru's all time best friend. They practically grew up together and their families are close. They also went to music lessons together. Takumi learned piano while Hikaru learned violin and while Takumi took his music to the stage and Hikaru didn't, whenever they see each other they still make time to do a duet together. 6. Does he have other close friends?  Hikaru would easily give up one of his kidneys for Takumi's wife, Briseis. That's how close they are; she is his female best friend. He is also close to Sotaro. In America, he spends most of his guy time with Andrew. 7. Does he make friends easily, or does he have trouble getting along with people?  He makes friends though he needs time to get to know them first. It took him a while to get buddy buddy with Chris. 8. Which does he consider more important: family or friends?  Friends. He's not very close to his family. 9. Is the character single, married, divorced, widowed? Has he been married more than once?  He starts off single, being a playboy and going from girl to girl for his own sexual reasons. Then after meeting Aija he ends up being with her and even marries her later on. 10. Is he currently in a romantic relationship with someone other than a spouse?  Nope, even if he started out being a player, he would never see himself being disloyal to Aija 11. Who was his first crush? Who is his latest?  He had a crush on Akane first and even on Briseis at first, but he knew he wanted somebody of his own that was on Brie's level. 12. What does he look for in a romantic partner?  Somebody who takes care of herself well and doesn't need a lot of saving. A woman who can stand up for herself verbally and physically if needed. A woman who loves sex as much as he does. 13. Does the character have children? Grandchildren? If yes, how does he relate to them? If no, does he want any? Yes, he ends up having two daughters with Aija: Nariko and Natsuki. He's close to Nari but Suki is Daddy's baby girl. They are joined at the hip. Not at the point of him being a grandfather though yet. 14. Does he have any rivals or enemies?  Does his father count? 15. What is the character's sexual orientation? Where does he fall on the Kinsey scale?He is straight. 16. How does he feel about sex? How important is it to him?  Hikaru is a sex god. He loves everything that has to do with sex. In fact he would have sex with Aija every day if she'd let him. 17. What are his turn-ons? Turn-offs? Weird bedroom habits?  He loves being dominant; but mostly in sex. He doesn't like his socks on while having sex and even though he wold have sex with clothes on, prefers to be completely nude. Licking and sucking on toes is a no no for him. He's also not too thrilled with sucking on fingers being a doctor he likes to have his hands clean if that is supposed to happen. Beliefs 1. Do you know your character's astrological (zodiac of choice) sign? How well does he fit type? He is a Libra and rightfully so. His chinese zodiac is year of the Rat. There are certain thing in there that go with him but not all. 2. Is this character religious, spiritual, both, or neither? How important are these elements in his life? He is spiritual. Not so much religious like his mother is and they aren't really all that important to him. 3. Does this character have a personal code of morals or ethics? If so, how did that begin? What would it take to compromise it?  Treat his mother, his sister and his woman with respect; if not prepare to feel either a kick or a fist to the face. Don't mess with Takumi and Briseis...that's a beatdown. Don't mess with his dog either...that's also a beatdown. 4. How does he regard beliefs that differ from his? Is he tolerant, intolerant, curious, indifferent?  He believes everybody has the right to believe what they want. He is indifferent. 5. What prejudices does he hold? Are they irrational or does he have a good reason for them?  He holds no prejudices on anybody and doesn't believe he has a right to. Daily Life 1. What is the character's financial situation? Is he rich, poor, comfortable, in debt?  Nobody knows right away, but Hikaru is filthy rich. He is born into wealth because of the family business. However he has always wanted to be normal and so doesn't ever flaunt his money around in somebody's face. 2. What is his social status? Has this changed over time, and if so, how has the change affected him?  Hikaru is a definite upper class person. His family is famous in his area in Japan and he is always invited to different parties and events just for having the Mizuno name. It hasn't changed and even though he goes, he still tries to find ways to be normal. He doesn't want his family to define him as a man. 3. Where does he live? House, apartment, trailer? Is his home his castle or just a place to crash? What condition is it in? Does he share it with others? Hikaru lives in a condo. It's very immaculate and he tries to put a oriental flair in it as well. He lives by himself except his dog, Yume. He also let's his sister crash there from time to time. 4. Besides the basic necessities, what does he spend his money on?  Hikaru doesn't mind spending money on things. He has his own sports car, a private plane, and his own lavish home in Japan. He likes to eat out and do lavish things. However...he doesn't make his life all about it. He would also enjoy a evening at home as well, watching tv. 5. What does he do for a living? Is he good at it? Does he enjoy it, or would he rather be doing something else?  He is an oncologist. But he works also in his father's medical office as a manager so he gets rare cases when the other doctors need a consult. 6. What are his interests or hobbies? How does he spend his free time?  Practicing martial arts, playing violin, going to different places of the world, dining out, dancing, hanging with friends, playing sports, working out, studying medical cases.  7. What are his eating habits? Does he skip meals, eat out, drink alcohol, avoid certain foods?  He loves to eat out or eat in and prefers Japanese meals, but he will eat practically anything. He drinks alcohol but not in large amounts. He is a social drinker. He doesn't like eating a whole lot of sweets, but enjoys a few. He thinks it's amusing that Aija is the complete opposite and will eat and snack on candy all day. Associations Which of the following do you associate with the character, or which is his favorite: 1. Color? black 2. Smell? Ralph Lauren Romance 3. Time of day? Morning 4. Season? Autumn 5. Book? GQ 6. Music? Classical-violin 7. Place? Kyoto, Japan 8. Substance? Wood 9. Plant? Bonzai 10. Animal? Golden Retriever Played by in my vision: Daniel Henney

[ladyleoart]

First Time For Everything

Fandom: Marvel - Avengers {MCU} AU:  Domestic Avengers - Let’s pretend they’re in a time bubble, I just want them to be HAPPY okay! Pairing: Steve/Tony {Stony} Rating: This is a solid fucking G, basically? Sex implied Warning(s): None <3 Prompt: "Stony goes through a haunted house, Steve does bobbing for apples for the first time, Tony takes Steve trick or treating" 

For: Eric @fiction-is-my-diction also viewable on ao3!

(Note: Bucky’s halloween costume is actually inspired by this post from @dorkcoffee !! Amazing artist <3)

--

Captain America is a symbol of hope. He’s an American icon, but his reach extends beyond its shores and touches the heart of every dreamer, the fiery soul of every broken and beaten outcast, the spot buried deep in anyone who looks into the face of inequality and inhumane treatment and yearns to kick and scratch bloody stripes into their skin. He’s a hero, a role model, a mythical figure in his own right.

And he’s terrified of robot babies.

Tony can’t believe it, but it’s true - Captain America has fears, and not something so grand and vague as fascism, war, or another metaphoric big bad. His fear is the goddamn animatronic baby in the haunted house crib.

“Steve, it’s not real.”

“I know that!” He groans, fingers digging into Tony’s arm so hard it hurts.

“We can’t leave until we walk past it.”

“I know that too!” His feet seem to be glued to the spot, and the baby’s scripted routine of jerking upright and wailing resets, causing Steve to jerk and yank Tony’s arm nearly out of the socket.

“Steve,” he hisses involuntarily, and the star-spangled crybaby relents slightly, allowing Tony to roll his sore shoulder and grab his wrist instead. “Alright, come on, I’ve got you.”

A soft whimper and at first Steve’s dragging his feet through the small “nursery”, but once the baby lays back down Tony is able to pull him out the draped doorway and into a hall of mirrors.

As they wander through, Steve seems to calm down; he’s almost back to normal by the time they make it to the exit - but Tony can still feel him flinch when a short little vampire pops out for one last jumpscare. The kid must be about sixteen, but Steve glares him down like he’s Red Skull all over again; Tony can’t help but slide him a twenty to make up for what are most likely stained pants as he drags his surly boyfriend across the lawn of the haunted house.

Steve is dead silent - pun intended - and Tony shoulder checks him gently. “They do say it’s the scariest haunted house on the east coast.”

“I am never doing this ever again,” Steve snaps, but the pout says he’s more embarrassed than angry.

“Hey, at least that kid has a story to tell about the time he almost made Captain America cry.”

“Oh shut up.”

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They show up to the Halloween party fashionably late - a quick pit stop to change into their costumes turned into Tony’s suggestive “Trick or Treat” implications which turned into a quick tumble in the sheets. Eventually, Steve manages to get into his cowboy costume without Tony prying pieces of it back off, even if it means he has to yank Tony’s grim reaper hood down over his entire face.

There’s music playing and lights pulsing when they finally make it into the party, which is conveniently located three floors under their penthouse apartment in Stark Tower.

“The party’s at your house and you show up late?” Rhodey greets them with a grin, an arched brow, and two glasses of scotch, one of which he hands off to Tony while initiating their routine banter. He’s making the most of his robotic leg braces and has committed to being a cyborg for the party, complete with glowing red eye-piece.

“Oh, you know traffic always sucks.”

“You know,” Natasha interrupts, appearing from seemingly nowhere to stand directly beside them. “This is the boring business equivalent of a Dad Joke.”

Tony looks horrified. “You take that back, I am funny.”

“Maybe the first time, if I’m being generous.”

“Hey, Nat,” Steve interjects, casually sliding between them to steer her away from a sputtering Tony and laughing Rhodey. “Where are Sam and Bucky?”

“Just arrived to the party and you’re already heading to the time out corner?”

“The what?”

She grins. “That’s what I call the corner where they’re inevitably snarling and glaring at each other.”

He snorts. “Guess I better go make sure they don’t start another brawl.”

“Nice costume by the way,” she gives him a once-over. Natasha herself is wearing what can only be called a combat ballerina costume. Grey tights and steel-toed black boots, a fluffy pink tutu and bedazzled bodice, hair in a tight bun and war paint streaked on her cheeks.

He can’t help but laugh. “You too.”

She salutes him with her glass of vodka and a dangerous smirk.

He finds his two best friends right where Nat suggested - staring each other down in a little corner lounge space. The armchairs are plush and they’re sprawled in relaxed poses, but the tension in the air does nothing to suggest comfort - in fact, the chairs seem to have been yanked out of place so they can stare unblinking over their bottles of beer. Sam is decked out in what he calls “modern warlock regalia” which is really just a fancy, fitted charcoal gray suit and a velvet magenta duster, both dripping with chains and jewels. Bucky, true to form, has gone the lazy route with his costume. He’s wearing a blousey black shirt with loose sleeves that has a laced front undone to mid-torso, tucked into tight black pants and tall boots with several belts and a red sash.

“Are you a prince, or a pirate?” Steve interrupts their staredown brightly.

“Pirate,” Bucky spits, wiggling his many-ringed fingers and taking a long swig of Sam Adams’ Octoberfest without breaking eye contact.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Steve frowns sternly. “This is a party and we are here to have fun. No more pissing contest, ya hear me!”

“Aw, fine.” Sam is the first to break and cave to societal convention. “I know what to do!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Bucky is scowling and Sam is grinning and Steve is wary, but Thor enthusiastically grabs them all in a big bear hug as they approach the bucket of water.

“Bobbing for apples?” Bucky’s brow is arched sharply as he squirms away from the embrace, but his relaxed stance betrays his interest.

“On Asgard we call it epli grípa,” Thor explains. “And it is a great game of sport.”

“I saw Thor carrying in the bucket,” Sam explains excitedly. “My cousins and I used to love bobbing for apples as kids.”

“Y’know,” Steve muses aloud, “I don’t think I ever did bob for apples.”

“Wait what?” Bucky frowns. “I did.”

Steve smiles wryly. “I think too many dunks in the school toilet turned me off the concept.”

Sam spins to look at him, incredulous. “You got swirlies?”

“There’s a name for those?”

“Oh yeah,” Tony grins, sliding up behind them and wrapping an arm around Steve’s waist. “I had my fair share, being the misunderstood rich genius that I was.”

Rhodey snorts. “You were a smart-ass punk and everyone could see it.”

“Same thing,” he waves a hand dismissively. “All geniuses are inherently misunderstood.”

“Now!” Thor grins. “Will the Captain be the first to…bob?”

He pauses, and Tony nudges him. “Go on then, Cowboy. Reclaim your honor.”

“Reclaim his honor?” Bucky frowns.

“Don’t you dare!” Steve snaps.

Tony smirks. “If you can catch the apple within three tries, I take the secret……to the grave.”

Natasha, passing by with Pepper and Darcy and a plate of snacks, groans. “Oh, reaper puns? Now it’s getting worse.”

“You shut up, you,” Tony points at her sternly, shaking his scythe, and she sticks out her tongue.

“Fine,” Steve declares, pulling attention back to himself. “I’ll accept your challenge.”

“When have you not accepted a challenge?” Bucky mutters.

Thor claps firmly, grinning broadly. “Yes!”

“I kinda wanna hear the story,” Sam wonders aloud, and Tony winks.

Steve is focused on the tub of water like it hold the secrets of the universe, eyebrows furrowed with concentration.

It’s like watching a blind dog try to find its water dish in the dark. He’s flailing and pecking at the water like a chicken, and Tony Is trying so hard not to pee himself laughing. In the end he goes past three attempts with no success, a fact which seems to drive him further out of spite. Steve is nearly submerging his entire head at this point, and eventually Bucky and Tony have to pull him back by the arms - with an apple clutched firmly in his teeth.

“Good job babe,” Tony smiles, pulling the apple free and taking a bite. “I’m still telling the story though.”

Steve groans, proud grin falling into a resigned expression. “I knoooow….”

So Tony gets the treat in the end.

[whydontwejustblog]

unusual asks

@anon that said “1-100,” i’m no chicKEN—

spotify, soundcloud, or pandora? spotify all the way.

is your room messy or clean? messy i like to think it’s neat.

what color are your eyes? a boring dark brown.

do you like your name? why? i hate it. i wish it was esteban julio ricardo montoya dela rosa ramirez.

what is your relationship status? what’s a relaytionsheep?

describe your personality in 3 words or less. boring.

what hair color do you have? still a boring dark brown.

what kind of car do you drive? color? …i’m not old enough to drive, but if i was, you better bet i’d have a rainbow car because #yolo. (lmao stop your influence @heartsavery.)

where do you shop? at the candy store. *instantly thinks of heathers*

how would you describe your style? non-existent.

favorite social media account? if i say tumblr, will it start working for me?

what size bed do you have? a queen-sized one. (no, that wasn’t a pun or anything.)

any siblings? i like to think she doesn’t exist.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? i’ve heard of this place called niue, which apparently has pikachu coins as part of their currency, so sign me up. (japan is also another option, because i love the atmosphere in kyoto. except for that one time i got lost at night near a creepy abandoned church.)

favorite snapchat filter? i don’t use filters much since i don’t take pictures of myself, but i’ll have to say the classic dog filter.

favorite makeup brand(s)? i don’t wear makeup.

how many times a week do you shower? i shower around once or twice a day. weird, i know, but it’s normal around here in a country that’s hot all year round. (except, of course, when there are typhoons, because it’s one extreme or another.)

favorite tv show? danger dings (read: stranger things.) i even have a side blog for it. *cough* @anevenstrangerblog *cough* i know the question only asked for one but can i throw in asoue too? i love both the books and the netflix show. malina’s so pretty i cri. ooh, andi mack is another show that i absolutELY LOVE AND—

shoe size? 6.5 in us women’s.

how tall are you? not tall at all. next question.

sandals or sneakers? sneakers are all i own.

do you go to the gym? no.

describe your dream date. with nikolai lantsov. but since he’s “fictional,” i’ll settle for the person giving me a fortune, then leaving me alone for the rest of my life. (but if the person was finn wolfhard / malina weissman / sadie sink, they can *in mulan’s grandma’s voice* stAy fOrevEr.)

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? about 2500 pesos and 2000 yen.

what color socks are you wearing? they’re pikachu socks.

how many pillows do you sleep with? one or none because quite frankly, i only like hugging pillows. sleeping on them is uncomfortable for me.

do you have a job? what do you do? i don’t have a job, but my class runs a business (with a beneficiary who all the proceeds go to), and i manage its marketing and finance. i also design a couple stuff for my mom’s clinic thing, which i guess is considered a job since i get paid.

how many friends do you have? if you don’t count online friends, zero ahaha.

what’s the worst thing you have ever done? lmao idk, exist?

what’s your favorite candle scent? i dunno. most probably woodsy or floral scents.

3 favorite boy names? names don’t have genders.

3 favorite girl names? names don’t have genders.

favorite actor? noah schnapp, my precious son.

favorite actress? millie bobby brown because why not.

who is your celebrity crush? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

favorite movie? the bee movie ahAHAHAHA the original spongebob movie.

do you read a lot? what’s your favorite book? i read waaay too much, and just like any of my other favorite things, i can’t pick just one favorite book, but i love six of crows by leigh bardugo.

money or brains? can i have both?

do you have a nickname? what is it? i’m called stupid a lot, does that count? ahaha :’) micah’s actually one of my nicknames.

how many times have you been to the hospital? too many times to count.

top 10 favorite songs? i have too many songs i like, so i’ll list some i remember right now (and limit myself to one song per artist.) crazy=genius by p!atd, bellyache by billie eilish, migraine by tøp, c’est la vie by maurice moore, glorious by macklemore, for him by troye sivan, my songs know what you did in the dark by fob, non-stop from the hamilton cast recording, teacher by prettymuch, and we the party by why don’t we.

do you take any medication daily? just vitamins, not medication.

what is your skin type? idk dude.

what is your biggest fear? the unknown.

how many kids do you want? zero.

what’s your go-to hair style? just my hair down since i’m lazy.

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc.) i don’t know how to describe the size of my house lmao.

who is your role model? thomas the tank engine.

what was the last compliment you received? i’m not sure if it was meant as a compliment, but that one anon who asked advice from me said they were awed by my independence so there’s that.

what was the last text you sent? i sent “i’m hungry” to one of my housekeepers.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? he IS real. i don’t know what the quackidy quack you’re talking about.

what is your dream car? lightning mcqueen. ka-chow!

opinion on smoking? i’m asthmatic, so personally, i don’t smoke, and i don’t encourage it either. if you’re talking about cigarettes, it harms the lungs of not only the smoker, but the people around them. it also affects air pollution (its effect is 10 times stronger than those of diesel car exhausts), and i’m very against all types of pollution to the environment. (i’m looking at you, glitter, which, if you didn’t already know, contributes to the pollution of waterways.)

do you go to college? i will in 2 years. (i’ll be a wee child all alone in another country :’( @whydontwejustbesomethingdiffrent i’m dragging you along if it’s the last thing i do.)

what is your dream job? i don’t really know lmao.

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? who doesn’t?

do you have freckles? no.

do you smile for pictures? i don’t like having pictures of me taken, but i occasionally smile awkwardly.

how many pictures do you have on your phone? i recently cleared out my photo library so now i’m left with only 3033 pictures.

have you ever peed in the woods? no.

do you still watch cartoons? duh.

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonald’s? there are no branches of wendy’s where i live so i’ll go with mcdonald’s.

favorite dipping sauce? does gravy count?

what do you wear to bed? pajamas.

have you ever won a spelling bee? i’ve never participated in one aside from the mini ones we used to hold in class before, which i won because the competition wasn’t exactly tough.

what are your hobbies? photography, bullet journaling, brush lettering, eating, reading, scrolling endlessly through my phone, dying, and other fun stuff. coding and robotics are cool too.

can you draw? @thefangirlingmaster i still stand by my opinion that i can’t.

do you play an instrument? the only instrument i can fluently play is the violin, since i was taught how to play it at 6 years old, but i own a guitar and keyboard which i can sorta play.

what was the last concert you saw? a pentatonix one.

tea or coffee? water.

starbucks or dunkin’ donuts? starbucks.

do you want to get married? not really.

what is your crush’s first and last initial? f.w. (hint: it rhymes with pinn rolfhard.)

are you going to change your last name when you get married? i dunno man.

what color looks best on you? still dunno man.

do you miss anyone right now? no.

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed.

do you believe in ghosts? uh…

what is your biggest pet peeve? my neighbors slow walkers

last person you called? my dad.

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies and cream.

regular oreos or golden oreos? i only eat mini-sized regular oreos.

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? choCOLATE *insert gif of that one fish from spongebob*

what shirt are you wearing? a panda shirt i got from singapore a couple years ago.

what is your phone background? it’s a zoomed in face of the ice cream octopus from dora. my parents say it’s creepy, but i think it’s calming. (i couldn’t post it on here because tumblr says i reached a limit, but if you wanna see it, tell me to send it to you.)

are you outgoing or shy? depends on the people i’m with.

do you like it when people play with your hair? it tickles.

do you like your neighbors? i’d prefer it if they moved far far away (haha shrek reference) and took their horrible karaoke with them.

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? i wash my face everytime i shower.

have you ever been high? nope.

have you ever been drunk? nope. (i was gonna come up with some punny joke but i’m too hungry to think right now. which reminds me, i have to go eat something real quick, be right back—)

last thing you ate? oh wow, perfect timing. i just ate mango float.

favorite lyrics right now? it’s from my son troye’s song, suburbia. “swallow nostalgia, chase it with lime. better than dwelling, and chasing time. missing occasions, i can’t rewind. can’t help but feel i’ve lost what’s mine.”

summer or winter? it’s basically summer all year round here so—

day or night? night.

dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk chocolate.

favorite month? december.

what is your zodiac sign? sagittarius.

who was the last person you cried in front of? my dad.

[thesebatbrats]

They Are The Best Bat-Dads

request:  Head canon: what type of dad would the batboys be? Please and Thank You 💖 (requested by @cas-backwards-tie)

warnings: cursing.

thank you for requesting !! also i just keep adding more and more to jason and dick and i cant stop so im sorry if theirs is longer ?? oops ?? 

        Dick would be the really bad pun type of dad. He’s a complete jokster with his child, and there have been so many inside jokes his s/o honestly cannot keep up. He would also threaten every boyfriend, girlfriend, s/o that his kid would bring home for him to meet. Bat-glares are boring into his kid’s poor s/o until his kid leaves the table to use the bathroom. Then the over-protective dad comes out as Dick gives his kid’s s/o one strong warning. While he might not like the idea of his child with someone, he will have to accept that if he forbid them to date they would do it behind his back. He was a kid once, he knows the drill. When it comes to discipline, while he might not want to but he is strict. It’s all a cool act until you crash the family car. Dick is also scarily good at comforting his kid over any issue. Even as a little kid, if his kids blanket ripped, he is right there. He listens when his kid rants and vents and does not give advice right away. He let’s them calm down and then comes back to it offering some fatherly wisdom. Dick would also definitely teach his kid a lot about gymnastics and acrobatics and train them in self defense if they pestered him enough. 

        Jason would honest to god be the dad to teach his kid how to shoot. Behind his s/o’s back, mind you. This guy is all over teaching his kid self defense from a young age. “It’s Gotham, whatcha gonna do?” He is the really chill dad that takes things surprisingly well. Come out to him? “Can’t wait until I can take you to a gay bar, kid.” Say that you got in a fight? “Did you initiate it? No? Good.” Honestly he had second thoughts when realizing his s/o was pregnant. He was not sure if he was suitable to be a father, but when seeing his kid for the first time--holding his kid in his arms really changed things for him. He was aboard the dad-train ever since that moment. He also has trouble holding his tongue when around his kid and often slips up and curses. “Fucking-- aw, shit, sorry, fuck!” Is one example. Words cannot explain how over protective this guy is when he finds out his kid is in a relationship. He’s the ‘I’m polishing a gun on the coffee table and cocking it RIGHT when you walk in’ when his kid brings his s/o home to meet him. When his child is upset over something, he lets them get the emotions out on their own and then recuperates with his kid. He gives them time and space rather then pouncing on his kid’s issues (it worked horribly when he was kid and got bombarded about his issues. He learned at least something from those experiences).

          Tim is a really down to Earth dad. He is the cool dad of the group that has a hard time laying the law down so relies on his s/o to do so. When he’s angry, its the silent ‘say very little words but when I do speak it’s deadly and you know not to question’. He’s also one of the ‘no cursing! It’s bad!’ type of dad (so when Jason curses around his kid he is u p s e t). He is amazing at not cursing around his kid, and it’s scary how much self control he has. He is not really strict when it comes to his child dating. When his kid’s s/o comes over he actually has a normal, pleasant dinner until you see Nightwing and Red Hood crash through the window and Tim has to excuse himself to other matters while his kid creates some smart, intricate lie to get their s/o to leave and not suspect that Tim is, you know, Red Robin. Jason and Dick definitely get an ear full about horrible timing and breaking his window (Not to mention that Jason definitely said “Fuck me that hurt,” when crashing through the window). Tim teaches his kid self defense when they are a little older and definitely, when old enough to his standards, lets them join him when on patrol. Either there physically or playing as an Oracle figure at home or at the Batcave. 

        Dad? What dad? You mean DRILL SARGENT? Damian is so strict its bad. He has such high expectations for his kid; good grades, great behavior, so on. He honestly puts so much stress on his kid’s shoulders that his own s/o gets angry and scolds him for it! Damian has no problem laying the law down on his kid and has really harsh punishments and groundings when ever his kid acts up. While he might not be the best dad, Damian really tries. He gets envious with how his kid favors his uncles and aunts over him. He honestly wants to give them the best childhood he possibly can but his methods are chalked full of tough love. It’s how he was raised even with Bruce. He has grown more compassionate over the years but still has trouble with it. He is not the best with comforting his kid. It could be over a really serious thing and he just pulls his kid in this awkward hug and pats them on the back and its annoying and unsettling than comforting. Damian and his kid do have their bonding moments--after all, his kid some of his own traits. His kid is a lot more close to Damian’s s/o and he is well aware and does try to do better. Damian also trains his kid, and trains his kid hard. Of course his kid takes interest but this man is literally a freaking machine and it is scary. Bruce definitely babysits his kid a lot and thoroughly enjoys it (Bruce loves kids, and I love him for it).

once again, thank you all so much for 500 !!!

[planetarywho]

Fellow Brazilian here, also feeling more than a little terrified. The fact people want the military to take power again is so disturbing...

OP explained the current context amazingly, so I'll just add a bit to the historical one, from my very small and limited point of view.

Tw: mentions of torture, mentions of police brutality

My dad is a musician, and grew up amongst artists. That means he's a snob when it comes to music, has an impressive record collection, and lost quite a few friends to the military dictatorship.

His best friend was arrested and tortured for months; it wasn't always physical torture: they had his older brother as well, and would put him next door to where he was being hurt, so that the sounds would pass trough the wall. They were three brothers when the regime started, but only two by the time it ended: one had "disappeared". To this day they have no idea where his body might be.

Now, dad was lucky: his father had been in public service for years by the time things went down, and had access to a lot. So, after the police cars stopping across from their house, and my dad got called to a police station for the second time for violating speech laws, grandpa decided to use his privilege, and stole documents from the politician he was working for at that time, proceeding to let them know of it the next day. That meant no one in the family would die, probably - oh, sorry, I meant disappear.

Still, all around him my dad kept seeing his friends go, one by one. Some managed to find exile in foreign countries, but those were a privileged minority. A few stopped composing, or protesting in general, and hoped to be forgotten. Many had no such luck.

My entire childhood I went to these people's houses on birthdays, holidays, celebrations. I knew their lives, their families, and how many of them were absolutely terrible cooks. One and all, they are incredibly normal. They would play jazz, or bossa nova, or even the occasional rock; there were bad jokes, awful puns, and annoyed spouses seeking refuge in another room. These are the people the military regime called dangerous, and that those who want its return call "degenerates", "bums", saying they deserved to be tortured, they wouldn't be missed.

And, shit, how can this not be terrifying? I literally talked about 4 people only. There were thousands. Mostly minorities and creatives, mainly leftists. Tons of university students, and teacher from different levels.

I'm queer, a woman, a teacher, a writer. My friends universally fit at least on of the categories for "subversive scum" on that mini list. And I sure as hell don't want any of us to be the example someone uses to describe the horrors of a regime a few decades from now.

a little update about me and my country

in order to explain why i'm feeling shitty today, in case anyone is curious but didn't know how to ask, i thought i'd explain what's going on where i live. everything is under the cut.

tw: politics, mentions of the shit parts of history, mentions of military dictatorship, EXTREME bigotry, mentions of violations of human rights, etc.

i live in brazil. today, (september 7th) is our independence day. across the country, there are protests both in favour and against our current president - jair bolsonaro.

for those who have the pleasure of not knowing who this man is, here are some quotes from him:

“I wouldn’t rape you because you don’t deserve it.” (2014)

“I’ve got five kids but on the fifth I had a moment of weakness and it came out a woman.” (2017)

“I am in favour of torture, you know that. And the people are in favour as well.” (1999)

“Brazilian prisons are wonderful places … They are places for people to pay for their sins, not live the live the life of Reilly in a spa. Those who rape, kidnap and kill are going there to suffer — not attend a holiday camp.” (2014)

“I visited a quilombo* and the least heavy afro-descendant weighed seven arrobas (approximately 230 pounds). They do nothing! They are not even good for procreation.” (2017)

*a settlement founded and organized by the descendants of runaway slaves

“I would be incapable of loving a homosexual son.” (2011)

“Elections won’t change anything in this country. It will only change on the day that we break out in civil war here and do the job that the military regime didn’t do: killing 30,000. If some innocent people die, that’s fine. In every war, innocent people die.” (1999)

all of these quotes were gathered from here

the last quote is the most important. the supporters of bolsonaro are protesting in favour of a "military intervention", akin to the one that happened in 1964. i'm not an expert, but i've been taught that it was a horrible time, especially for minorities and those who wanted to speak out against the government. thousands of people were tortured, killed, exiled or "disappeared".

jair bolsonaro has not only stated his support of this military regime, but actively celebrated the anniversary of its beginning. not to try to compare this to a very serious situation, but imagine if the chancellor of germany celebrated the day hitler rose to power.

this is what's happening in my country today, people are protesting to arrest and kill the ministers of the supreme court, close national congress and establish a military regiment in our country.

another upsetting thing about bolsonaro's government is the strong emphasis in "religious values". picture everything you hate about christianity- he probably agrees with it. brazil is supposed to be secular country by law, yet, during his time as president, he has established many policies on the basis of "family morals".

below i'll list a few of the decisions made by him and/or his government:

banned any and all lgbtq+ slang from being used in state companies (established after he cut an ad for our national bank from circulation, because it contained "too much diversity")

said he won't allow state companies' ads that don't follow his own ideology to air

stated he'll cut funding from the education system, specifically the humanities

cut 30% of the funding for three very important federal universities

the minister of education allowed students to record teachers who spoke against the government, thus allowing for their jobs to be at risk.

in case you think this is a lot, i'm actually only citing things that happened in april of 2019 so far. anyway, he says he wants to sell the amazon :)

in his own words, "if it were for me, native-brazilians wouldn't have a square centimetre of land" (don't worry, he later changed it to say he meant a square millimetre)

he got rid of FUNAI (the foundation responsible for protecting the rights of indigenous people in brazil) and instead handed these responsibilities to the ministry of agriculture - which is responsible for the country's financial decisions.

he got rid of the Work Ministry, which was responsible for enforcing labour laws and rights, and created the "ministry of family", which is supposed to "enforce the country's values".

changed gun control policies - making it easier for people to legally own, acquire and carry firearms.

so yeah, i'm upset.

a good take on some of these issues can be found on netflix, in the volume 3 episode of patriot act with hasan minhaj titled "brazil, corruption and the rainforest".

brazil is already not a safe place for minorities, despite the amount of diversity we have. in 2020, we were the number 1 country to kill the most trans people in the world, for the 12th year in a row.

i'm not an expert on how to help, but the brazil foundation seems like a good start.

the world's going to shit, i know, and we probably don't matter that much to you compared to other world issues. but this has been going on since 2018 and i'm not sure if i can pretend to be okay with this situation for much longer. for my fellow brazilians: in our next elections, let's remember to vote.