#of course this is satire
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hehevoldy · 2 years ago
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Actually, if you ask my aunts, those foxes are just really good friends.
Happy Friendship month, y'all!
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happy pride to these lesbian foxes
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madame-helen · 8 months ago
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poppyfamily · 6 months ago
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I'm not on Tiktok you fucking loser!
Let me just squeeze it out and I'll be right there.
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themisinformer · 12 days ago
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White House Defends Trump’s Golfing Habit As Strategic National Defense Strategy
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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Facing repeated criticism for his habit of golfing as Head of State, White House officials have come out to defend President Donald Trump’s golfing habit as a “strategic national defense strategy.” “The President doesn’t golf for leisure,” said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. “He golfs to project America’s strength. It is a deliberate and layered effort on his part to display America’s dominance to all our enemies through his tactical posturing.”
Trump himself would later take to Truth Social to echo similar sentiments. “I DO NOT GOLF FOR MYSELF, I GOLF FOR AMERICA!!!! I HAVE DONE MORE FOR THIS COUNTRY THAN GEORGE WASHINGTON AND TIGER WOODS COMBINED!!!! I AM A STRATEGIC GENIUS!!!!”
At publishing time, Trump would express interest in using taxpayer money to fund an indoor golf course inside the White House so he could “defend the country from home.”
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like-tears-in-rain-storms · 2 months ago
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When you mess up and call upon the wrong one-eyed savant sorcerer to assist you in battle:
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Sources: 1, 2, 3.
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thinkingabout-girls · 5 months ago
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yeah i hate women. yeah i hate men too. no i’m not a misogynist and i’m not a terf i just hate everyone equally. #hater #equalopportunityhating
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anqelbean · 1 year ago
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No, cause if I was Jun Wu and I had my husband leave me without warning when I made ONE TINY MISTAKE (AFTER HE TOLD ME HE'D STAY BTW!!!!) only to find him a thousand years later RAISING OUR KID!!! I'd also go insane
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saedyne · 2 months ago
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finally reading invincible and it's not bad but i'm really not a fan of the vaguely mean-spirited way it treats some of its women
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fluffydice · 1 year ago
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On the first day of Woman Month I need to do a short essay explaining how Aiura and Teruhashi can represent opposite ends of the victims of purity culture, and how the Kokomins represent those who subscribe to the notions of what makes a woman have worth
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rapha-reads · 10 months ago
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IWTV rewatch
Season 1 episode 2 [... After the Phantoms of Your Former Self] - part 2/3
- [Daniel] "White master, Black student, but equal in the quiet dark" - *spits out the water I just drunk* DANIEL MOLLOY THE QUEEN THAT YOU ARE. And Louis immediately answering the provocation with a slam down of his own. I am so here for the Louis/Daniel bromance, the way they can just spend hours snarking at each other. Saltmates, if you will.
Louis is such a Bitch, the way he decides to eat that fox in front of Daniel to remind him that "vampires are killers", and the way he lets the blood drip, when canonically vampires never waste any blood (at least in the book, that's one of the thing Lestat repeats often, a vampire's feeding is clean, no trace of blood left anywhere, but in a visual media about vampires, of course it looks better to have the blood dripping on the chin after, sometimes you gotta privilege aesthetic over function).
[Louis] "Vampires are killers, apex predators whose all-seeing eyes were meant to give them detachment, the ability to see a human life in its entirety, not with any mawkish sorrow, but with the thrilling satisfaction of being the end of that life and having a hand in the divine plan."
Yeaaah, like Daniel says, "don't expect every reader to swallow that one". Because for one thing, you don't even fully believe it, Louis, you who's about to spend several years starving yourself feeding only on rats and cats, you who just had a fox for supper instead of going hunting, you who hates feeding on humans and doesn't let even your fellow vampires witness you feeding (book canon), you who also goes during the 20th century from crisis of faith to fully atheist and uncaring about religion... Pretty words. Empty words. I'm not buying it.
"Mawkish": lacking flavor or having an unpleasant taste / exaggeratedly or childishly emotional (Merriam-Webster). Well I didn't know that word. Collins Dictionary tells me that the best translation to French would be "mièvre", and now I am loving this even more. "Mièvre" is not a very used word in French, which is a shame because it's a very pretty and very evocative word, and "mawkish" definitely gives me the same impression. Yey, I learned something new today! New word to incorporate to my vocabulary.
- I swear I'm not trying to comment every single minute of this episode, but every single minute brings something interesting. I have to stop on Louis and Lestat's conversation about languages and killing being its own language, as a multilingual person myself (I could spend hours talking linguistics, sorry not sorry):
[Lestat] "'When I first started learning English, I abhorred it. Every word felt like a doorknob falling out of my mouth. Chapeau is a hat, étoile was a star...' [Louis] 'Killin' folks ain't a second language!' [Lestat] 'But when I started dreaming in English, that's when I embraced it. And now, I have English consonants to thank for this astonishing jawline.' [Louis] 'These are nightmares I'm having, Lestat, not dreams.'"
Firstly, yeah, Lestat's right, "hat" is weird. It's chapeau in French, cappello in Italian, kapela in Greek, even quba'a in Arabic, and Arabic is not even an Indo-European language... The heck does hat come from? *resists the urge to go linguistic deep dive* Secondly, yeah, he's right, he does have an amazing jawline - taking this opportunity to bring attention to the scar on the corner of his mouth, book readers know what's up. Where was I? Ah, yeah. No, Lestat's right about a foreign language sounding weird in your mouth until you start to understand its spirit instead of only its letter - words falling out of your mind versus dreaming in that language. Been talking English for long enough that I do dream in English, and been multilingual all my life so I adapt to languages fast enough, but it's still a struggle. I'm fluent in Spanish now, but I don't dream in Spanish yet, and I sometimes feel like the word sounds wrong when it actually sounds like it should.
What it means in regard to Louis is that he's a slow learner. Gotta sound the kill one by one, taking your time, before you get to be a consummate killer. Can't learn a language in a night. Can't learn a language if you don't practice. Can't get used to killing if you don't kill, and can't survive if you don't kill, and vicious circle, doesn't kill>doesn't survive>doesn't practice>doesn't learn>doesn't survive>doesn't kill... Extremely interesting to see that Lestat IS actually teaching Louis about vampire ways, but Louis is not ready to listen yet, or, to continue the metaphor, they're not speaking the same language and they haven't learned to understand each other's language (not talking about accents obviously, but once again taking the opportunity to praise both Sam and Jacob's vocal work, between Sam's French accented drawling English and Jacob's Creole slang in NOLA and flat "standard" English in Dubai, it's a feast for the ears).
Okay, while Lestat's teaching Louis how to read minds (the Mind Gift, that book!Louis actually doesn't get in the books until very, very late on, and isn't good at, and doesn't show), wanna just say: look how giddy they are! Look how soft they are with each other! Look how fondly Louis speaks to Lestat, how fondly Lestat looks at Louis! We forget, and Louis too, but in between the misunderstandings and the drama and the anguish, they DID love each other, they DID have good times, they DID build a life with each other. It wasn't complete (and no I'm not talking about darling Claudia, I'm talking about speaking the same language), but it was good enough for quite a few years.
Oh man, Louis reading his family's minds, I coulda told him that's a bad idea *points to every literature with a man reader*, but also that passage in Narnia (Dawn Trader) when Lucy spies on her school friends and hear things she didn't want to read and didn't have to know. Don't have time to go search for that passage now, but Aslan tells her something like "some things really do not need be done", or sum' like that.
- Oh, hey, look. More social commentary. That white guy's gonna get eaten if he keeps patronising Louis like that. "You truly are an exceptional Negro" - hey Lou baby, can I kill him please? Lemme kill him for you. "I had let them talk to me like that so long, I had stopped hearing it" - oh, and Louis' accent is slipping here, can you hear it. Really, REALLY love how that change from book canon adds so many layers to Louis' character. Hey, have I said lately that Louis' my favourite? 'Cause Louis is my favourite. "Yes, sir. Of course, sir. Subject, verb, agreement, sir. Smile, nod, yes sir." - AWARDS FOR JACOB, all the awards for Jacob please, and my gods how much do I adore Louis, that sassy, snarky, bitchy queen. I want to have a book club with him.
"But I wasn't a man anymore. I was something else. I had powers now, and decades of rage to process, and it was both random and unfortunate, the man picked that night to dabble in fuckery." - so first, Jacob keeps on flexing his vocal skills by letting Louis slip more and more back to his original accent, and then, YES KING, get his ass, DRAIN HIM. And in a more meta way, all hails liberation movements and the process of reclaiming one's identity. Maybe not through murder, we all ain't lucky enough to be vampires, but yeah, rage is a good tool actually. Rage can lead to enormous movements that change the fabric of society for the better. Never underestimate the power of repressed rage finally expressing itself when it's yielded by clever, resourceful, empathic beings. Sorry, that was the "segregated Southern States social commentary as a mirror for 21st century's current liberation movements social commentary" minute, back to the vampires.
[Lestat] "You are a library of confusion" - first of all, Sam's delivery, with the hand gestures and the head shake, MAGNIFICENT, but also, it's Lestat starting to realize that maaaaaaybe he bit more than he can chew. Maaaaaybe.
[Louis] "'There's some things you don't get about America, Lestat.' [Lestat] 'Yes, let's have this conversation again.' [Louis] 'Colored; white. Creole; French. Queer; half-queer, mostly queer, what is it?' [Lestat] 'Non-discriminating.' [Louis] 'Complicated situation we got here is what I'm saying.'"
ICONIC. And also, maaaaan do I love that that's the road RJ and Cie decided to go with, one of the only changes I've been having issues is the time skip (from 1797 to 1910, cf. episode 1 part 1 rewatch). But this little conversation here actually warms me to it! The layers, man, the layers. Also, love that Lestat self-identifies as non-discriminating, that's so totally him about basically everything: skin color and ethnicity, sexuality and gender, species, age... Drama Queen really said "everything goes, eeeeeeverything".
- "How can I say no to you?" - awwww, Lestat is so whipped for Louis.
[Louis] "From 1912 to 1917" - oooh thanks for the time stamps. So it's been two years since he's turned, and it's on for 5 years of stability. The famous "honeymoon era".
[Louis] "I made a mountain of money, enough to retire and be buried like a pharaoh" - uuuuuh *side-eyes cautiously Queen of the Damned* let's not talk about Egyptian monarchy yet, yeah, that'll come to burn us soon enough.
Oops, the baby scene. And Louis realising he can't hold on to his family, that they're about to slip between his fingers like sand... Ow. [Grace] "I'm sure Mama would love to see you" *rapid glance* *giggles* That's siblings for "yeaaaah no, lol, Mama would definitely NOT love to see me, you crazy".
[Louis] "I no longer kill. My last victim was in the year 2000." BUT DID YOU EAT THE BABY, LOUIS. "I sit here a master of my instincts." But did you eat the baby, Louis. Slight aside, but how is this dinner still on going?? WAIT, go back a second: [Daniel] "And you know this how, you guys have a thread on 8chan?" - BENJI MENTION? I sooo want to see Benji's radio. Though if we still follow book events but on show timeline, Armand hasn't met Benji and Sybelle yet, because they're turned a decade after Daniel. Repeating myself, but RJ did say he'd adapt Prince Lestat, and Benji's one of the main players of this book, so I'm sure we'll see him, but it's going to be a while, I think.
- Wait, I need to relisten to that conversation:
[Daniel] "'And what about the others out there? Have they mastered theirs?' [Louis] 'Just the opposite. Most of them are slaves to the blood, exhausted from decades, centuries of hiding, giddy to increase their numbers.' [...] [Daniel] 'Is the pandemic the opening they've been waiting for?' [Louis] 'Pandemic, the unravelling of geopolitical foundations. [...] One of them, a brute in Madagascar, called it 'the great conversion'.'"
Oh, lots to say here. Lots that will spoil the books too. Because hey, y'all know what happens in Queen of the Damned, after Lestat's concert? Yepppp. Pretty sure Rolin Jones just planted the seeds of seasons 3 and 4. And served on a silver platter with delicious 21st century social commentary. I'm having the time of my life.
[Daniel] "'Well most people I know like to play a little ball in the afternoon, or maybe go down to the beach, catching a few rays.' [Louis] 'Yes. What on earth would a meth-addicted son of a coal miner in West Virginia want with eternal life?' [Daniel] 'Did you eat the baby?' [Louis] 'Or the Arab youth whose whole family were wiped from existence...' [Daniel] 'Did you eat the baby?' [Louis] '... by a Western drone? No, I'm sure you're right.'"
SHOTS FIRED. And another Benji mention! And a personal attack. And Louis being his glorious catty self. And Daniel being his glorious one-minded self. We're heading for another "outburst", lmao.
The Damek scene is just so fucking weird, I'm wheezing. Nothing to say here, just: this show is a freaking comedy. Between Louis perfecting the Little Drink but his taste of the night just passing out, and Daniel going "you might have a drinking problem" and then going back to his idea of the night, "the goddamn baby, Louis, did you fucking eat the bloody baby", this is peak humor.
Aaaaaand we need a third part, still 15 minutes to go.
episode 1 | part 1 | part 3 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7
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blabbermouthhhh · 7 months ago
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jadelemonadee · 7 months ago
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should i make an overly inaccurate seabury playlist for funsies
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negative-speedforce · 16 days ago
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I can't believe the audacity.
I just saw a video of the Orange Ignoramus saying that he wants to send US citizens to prisons in El Salvador.
I can't believe the audacity that this geriatric crusty-ass mouldy tangerine rapist has.
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thegoodmeow · 2 months ago
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The Great Water Heist: Humans Have Decided They Can Rename the Ocean
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BREAKING MEWS:
In their never-ending quest to control things that do not belong to them, humans have apparently decided that the Gulf of Mexico needs a fresh, new name.
Enter: The Gulf of America.
Because reasons.
Yes, dear readers, the water itself remains unchanged. The waves still wave, the fish still do whatever it is they do (I wouldn’t know, I don’t care). And yet, somehow, a group of humans has determined that simply calling it something different makes it theirs.
It’s a bold move. I respect the audacity. However, as a cat, it’s my duty to remind everyone that just because you call something yours doesn’t mean it actually is.
Otherwise, I would have already renamed the couch “My Throne of Indifference” and claimed full sovereignty over the entire kitchen counter.
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A Brief History of Humans Renaming Things That Aren’t Theirs
This isn’t the first time. Humans love renaming things they don’t own. Historical examples include:
🐾 Land – This usually ends in war, treaties, and a lot of passive-aggressive glances at maps.
🐾 Space – They put a flag on the moon and called it a day. (No one lives there. No one asked.)
🐾 The Internet – They keep adding “X” to things and pretending it’s revolutionary.
And now? The literal ocean.
What’s next? Perhaps they will:
• Rename rain to “American Sky Juice™.”
• Require a patent number for the wind.
• Make swimming a licensed activity.
Frankly, I wouldn’t put it past them.
Google Enters the Chaos
To make things even messier, Google—the all-knowing digital overlord—has decided to play along.
Except even Google seems confused.
Consider what happens when searching for this body of water:
• Search in the U.S.: Gulf of America
• Search in Mexico: Gulf of Mexico
• Search elsewhere: Gulf of Mexico (Gulf of America) — apparently, indecision now reigns.
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It’s like when humans can’t agree on a pet’s name, so they just mash them together.
(Looking at you, Mr. Whiskers McFluffington Pancake III.)
Should We, as Cats, Care?
No.
This is 100% a human problem.
However, it’s an excellent reminder that humans will argue over literally anything.
Meanwhile, we cats have a far simpler approach to ownership:
🐾 If we want something, we take it.
🐾 If we don’t want something, we ignore it.
🐾 If someone else wants what we have, we sit on it just to make a point.
Honestly, Mexico and the U.S. could both learn a lot from us.
Final Verdict: Humans Are At It Again
• Will this name change stick? Maybe.
• Will it cause unnecessary drama? Definitely.
• Will I lose sleep over it? Absolutely not.
So, while humans argue over what to call a giant body of water, I will be here:
🐾 Sprawled across the warmest sunbeam.
🐾 Contemplating the mysteries of the red dot.
🐾 Wondering why humans waste so much time when they could be napping.
Oh, and one last thing—in actual news that matters—cat rescues everywhere need help.
If humans are so obsessed with renaming things, maybe they could rename “stray cats” to “future beloved family members.”
Now that’s a name change I could get behind.
📰 Reporting live from the top of the fridge, this has been The Good Meow.
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libertys-lovers · 22 days ago
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I think
If my F/Os ever ask me what my music taste is, I’m just gonna play Jackie’s Box for them & let them…
heh
…let them put the pieces together-
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