#of course there are great and interesting characters who struggle with clinical depression

[eviltothecore13]

Is it just me or has fandom overall...changed a lot in how it talks about its favourite characters over the past few years?

It used to be people who really liked a character would be like “this character’s the best at everything, they can do no wrong, they’d win every fight, they have a plan for everything, they’re the coolest cleverest most attractive person in the whole story!!!”, and like...that could go too far, it could be annoying or just really really inaccurate compared to canon (I used to know a Jill fan who insisted that Jill could easily beat every single character in the series in a fight--and look, Jill is very cool, but Chris was canonically the best in hand-to-hand combat at STARS and was also training HER in marksmanship, Jill is of course extremely capable but...she really does not have to be the best at everything to prove why she’s your favourite...for that matter, Wesker fans who were like “Wesker in RE5 has to be a clone/a fake/whatever because the REAL Wesker would never LOSE because Wesker can’t make mistakes!”...always made me go *stop, please, it’s embarrassing*), but it did...make sense why someone who really loved a character would say these things about them?

But now it seems like the kind of comments people make about their favourite characters, and the way they portray them in fics, are...pretty much the opposite of that? People will be like “my blorbo is SO STUPID! they’re so useless they can’t do ANYTHING! they’re a pathetic weak little wet paper bag!”

Like, a few years ago if I’d seen a post saying things like that about a character I’d assume it was written by someone who hated them?

And obviously...sometimes a character you love is kind of a dork, or makes some silly mistakes sometimes. Other times a character you love is a terrible evil person. I’m not saying everyone should equate liking a character with thinking they’re perfect. But...most popular characters AREN’T actually completely stupid and incompetent at absolutely everything, and I can never quite get my head around it when people seem to hold this view of a character and it’s clearly not true, like...if you really think they’re pathetic, stupid, and can’t do anything right...do you really like them that much?

I’ve seen fandom call characters stupid/idiots when they are either science geniuses, or they’re brilliant inventors who build sci-fi gadgets, or they’re scheming chessmaster strategist types who manipulate all the other characters for years and come very close to taking over the world, or maybe they just canonically speak several languages and are well-read, or even if canon doesn’t focus much on their intelligence you’ve got characters like Chris who was a USAF fighter pilot--which means he has a degree, judging by the timeline probably an Air Force Academy one, which means he was likely in the top 3% of his high school classes and DEFINITELY didn’t “barely scrape through” as I often see headcanoned (not just by people who want to bash him but people who are like “I love him! He’s such a big dumb himbo! He’s so stupid!!” like. what.)

Similarly I see characters who are canonically very confident and self-assured, never really doubting themselves for a second, and who canonically react to things going wrong by calmly adapting their plans and moving forwards without ever getting discouraged, get tagged on posts about “pathetic wet paper bag men who’ve never had a good day in their life and an insult from a child would make them cry”.

Or characters who are shown in canon as dangerous, powerful and near-fearless fighters get written in fics, by people who say they’re their favourites, as spending all their time crying and flinching and not even trying to defend themself from whoever’s attacking/trying to hurt them (and not because they went through some major trauma previously in the fic that left them in this state, either--often the fic is set during canon and the character is just...like that rather than something having happened to change them from who they were at that point in their life in canon)... personally, while I enjoy whump, whumping a character who’s ALREADY weak and helpless and spends all their time curled up in a corner crying BEFORE whatever you do to them in the fic can easily just feel like kicking them while they’re down and is honestly boring because it doesn’t show anything NEW about the character, so it’s particularly odd to see fics written that way when the character in canon is exactly the confident powerful type that I do think is fun to whump.

(For a specific example, RE canon is that Wesker and Sergei had a rivalry and Wesker seems to view Sergei mostly with disdain and see him as an annoying obstacle. Wesker never gives any sign of being scared of or intimidated by Sergei, and certainly doesn’t seem to start panicking the instant Sergei enters a room. And even before he had his powers, he had extensive combat training by the time he met Sergei, and Sergei being taller and heavier doesn’t inherently mean that Wesker would be defenceless and go down in one punch in a fight, or even that Wesker would LOSE a fight against him. Canon doesn’t depict Wesker as a helpless victim for Sergei to beat up...hurt him by all means but it’s OOC if Wesker doesn’t give as good as he gets.)

Oh, and characters who are canonically master manipulators who are experts at getting people on their side and gaining their trust being portrayed as so socially awkward and clueless that they’re incapable of holding a conversation without coming across offputtingly weird...

Maybe I’m the odd one out here but I can’t really get why you’d want to present your favourite character as LESS capable, LESS intelligent, LESS brave or confident or powerful or whatever other impressive traits they might have in canon? Like I wouldn’t go so far as to say I ADMIRE all my favourite characters, because some of them are murderous evil monsters, but...I generally do see them as either having some kind of admirable personality trait (courage, integrity, confidence, determination... or maybe just a lot of charisma and a good sense of humour, though I feel like charisma tends to overlap with confidence a fair bit...), or at least as being very good at what they do. I can kind of get the appeal of the “sweet and kind and caring but not that bright ‘golden retriever man’ type”, even though they’re not usually MY type, because I know some people primarily like characters who they think it would be good to be friends with (and most of those types of characters aren’t USELESS, at the very least they tend to be good at listening and being supportive), but when someone’s favourite character is a bad person AND they seem to think they’re stupid, useless, incompetent and pathetic on top of being evil it’s like...so what do you even like about them?

[bokutouch]

Hi!!! I was wondering if I could get an eternal matchup pls??

- my names Olivia and I’m 17.

- I go by she/her pronouns and I want to be matched with a male character from Haikyuu!! please.

- My birthday is January 6th, 2004 and I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Libra Rising (my Mercury is in Sagittarius, my Venus is in Aquarius, and my Mars is in Aries if you wanted to know the rest).

- I’m 5’2, I have brownish-red hair and blue eyes.

- I spend a lot of time doing school work because I’m really driven by it and I’ve had good grades a majority of high school. When I’m not doing schoolwork I enjoy listening to music or going on a walk! I really like going on sunrise/sunset walks bc they’re always really pretty! I try to do community service in my free time because I really enjoy helping others out. I'm currently a summer camp counselor but I hope to be a lab tech one day :)

- If I were to go on a date with a partner I don't really mind what we do, but I like book dates, movie dates, and especially museum dates!! In a partner I'm looking for someone who shares the same interests as me, is kind, has a good sense of humor, and most importantly can understand and work through my emotions with me. I get really bad mood changes so if he can work with me through that I really value it. My love languages are acts of service and quality time.

- I think that one of my fatal flaws is that although I appear kind and respectful when I’m out in public, I have pretty severe anxiety, depression, and anger issues so I struggle with that a lot. I also get really defensive and stubborn when someone says something that annoys me so i kinda never stop talking lol.

- To finish off I’m an ISFP and Enneagram Type 9v1.

- I hope you have a great day! Ty if you do this! ❤

Hello olivia, thanks for coming to my brand new rocket ship!! 🚀

first of all I apologize bcs I'm not really educated about astrology,

so I'll just use your other description as best as I could okay??

I SHIP YOU WITH AKAASHI KEIJI!

"why akaashi?" you might askㅡ

first of all, some part of you reminded me of bokuto.

and some part of you definitely reminded akaashi of bokuto too. it's not a bad thing really.

Akaashi looks at you and think, "ah, she is my home."

because "home" supposed to be comfortable, because home supposed to be familiar. Being with you bring him peace. You are his home, his tranquility, his safe haven.

Most people told him, "God- you are such a boring person, Akaashi." and as the time goes by, he is starting to believe that tooㅡ but thats until you come into his life.

You're one of his classmate. And not gonna lie, at first akaashi only know you as the quiet girl who always buried her nose in books. "If I am boring, she must be a lot more boring than me." that's what he thought of you, bcs really everytime he sees you, its always you and your books. He understands the importance of having good grades, but should you really be doing that everyday?

The first time you two have a really long talk was when one day akaashi saw you still sitting inside your shared classroom, all alone bcs it's almost 6 pm and of course everybody left already. Nose buried deep in books like you always do, but this time he could hear you humming a song- it's a song that he also enjoyed listening to. He never sing in front of other people before, but for some reason he wanted to join your little secret concert at that time, so he did. He sing along to your little hummingㅡ 1 song turn into 2, turn into 3, and you still didn't notice him at all. He laughed a little because "what's so interesting in that clinical laboratory science book that she doesn't even realized I've been here for almost 10 minutes already."

He tapped your shoulder two times, and you jumped at that.

"H-hey? Um, sorry, I just.. I've been waiting here for you to finally notice me but I guess that book is really interesting, huh?" he smiled at you, feeling a little bad after seeing your reaction at his little tap tap on your shoulder.

"Oh, yes... I want to be a lab tech in the future, so um you know, just preparing." you awkwardly smiled back at him.

"Well, uh.. I know you definitely going to be an amazing lab tech one day. I saw you reading tons of books related to that job everyday in class, so... I believe your hardwork will be paid off."

"wait... that was so nice of him." you stared at akaashi who's currently fidgeting with his fingers.

"Thank you for saying that, Akaashi. That really means a lot to me. People have been telling me that my dream job is just that, a dream. Hearing you saying that someday my hardwork will be paid off really motivate me to prove them wrong. I swear I'm gonna rub it on their face once I got the job." you grins at him.

And at that, Akaashi heart beating a little bit faster than the usual. Was it your thankful speech for him? Was it your cute little grin? He doesn't really knowㅡ one thing he knows for sure though, he wants to keep talking to you. From today, tomorrow, and as long as you would let him.

"Hey, uh... it's going to get dark soon. Do you maybe want to go home together with me?"

You could see how nervous akaashi was after asking you that question, so you just nods and start fixing your books into your bag. Right before you zip up your bag, you remembered the main reason you are still in the classroom at that hour is because you were planning to see the sunset on your way back home, "Wait Akaashi, I actually want to see the sunset today..."

"Oh? I usually go home as the sun set due to my volleyball practice. The sight look really pretty if you see it from on top of the hills behind our school. Do you want to go there? I can show you the best spot."

Of course you accept his offer enthusiastically. So yes, that day is the beginning of your friends to lovers type of relationship with Akaashi.

Akaashi confessed to you first.

His friend circle are full of annoying people. They all be like,

"COME ON AKAASHI!! CONFESS YOUR UNDYING LOVE TO OLIVIA ALREADY."

"AKAASHI, DO YOU WANT TO SEE OTHER GUY SNATCH HER UP? HUH? ANSWER ME. AKAASHI!! AKAASHI!! WAIT UP!! "

"AKAASHI, WHAT IF OLIVIA DECIDED TO FALL FOR SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING SUCH A PUSSY AND WON'T CONFESS TO HER?"

"AKAASHI THIS" "AKAASHI THAT" "AKAASHI" "AKAASHI"

so during your usual study date day, he just decided to straight up ask you to be his girlfriend.

"W-what?" you just sat there for a whole minute because... what if things gonna feel different once you two put a real label to your not so friendly friendship? What if being friends with Akaashi is a lot more better than being his girlfriend? What if he ended up leaving you because he doesn't like the real you? There are so many ugly things that you hide from him, would he still love you the same after seeing all those imperfection? so many what if(s) going inside of your head, so little time to actually process each one of it.

"Umm, you can say no, you know...." all the messy thoughts inside your head stopped right away after hearing that.

"NO! wait, Keiji- I mean, not no to be your girlfriend, its no to me saying no to be your girlfriend." God, its hard to be in love. You can't control your heart, your brain, and now your tongue. God bless your soul, olivia.

"So.... is that a yes to be my girlfriend then?" Akaashi looks really small in that moment. He is still not sure if he can finally kiss you or not. Only being a friend to you for these past 6 months kept him from doing a lot of romantic stuff with you. Kissing you, holding your hands for no reason, hugging you any time he wants to, actually go on a study date with you instead of a childish study day. So now he really won't waste a single time if you answer his previous question with a "Yes" ;

After having a long talk about your imperfections, all your insecurities, and also tons of frustrated tears coming from your eyes, you finally say yes and there you have your new title as Akaashi Keiji's new girlfriend. He definitely got his long waited kiss from you too 🌻.

HEADCANON(s)!!

Bokuto once joined you and akaashi's museum date and he broke a statue hand after trying to handshake the statue. He grabbed the broken hand and show it to you and akaashi with teary eyes. Can't do nothing but running for your life and never comeback to that one particular museum 😭

You and Akaashi have the same love language, "Act of Service" ; So the two of you enjoy giving each other little massage here and there.

Just like you, Akaashi love being helpful for others too, so he really enjoyed the time he spent accompanying you to all your community service agendas. People that you two have been helping together ship you guys so much, especially the elderly couple. They keep saying "You two will make it until old days like us two."

After a long time dating eachother, you two decided to adopt a cute siberian husky that you named "Bobo". Akaashi rejected that name at first, because "Honestly love, I don't like how you picked a name so close to Bokuto's name. Our dog deserves better." You gasped at that, "How dare you, Keiji. This is our son! And his name is Bobo. I don't take no for an answer."

RUNNER UP(s) !!

OSAMU MIYA

SAWAMURA DAICHI

SHINSUKE KITA

alright this getting too long haha.

I hope you enjoy the results, love 🦋

[maariarogers]

Why Webtoon!Suho is Superior and K-Drama!Suho Needs To Catch Up 👏

Hello, everyone!

Am I here again with another semi-controversial meta? Why, I might be.

If you’d like to catch up with my last meta, which was: Thoughts On True Beauty and Why I’m On Team Suho, you’re going to get a whole butt-load of information on why I’m mostly a Lee Suho-simp, thank you very much.

With that said, to cut the story short, I’ll be listing down some points I’ll be bringing up on this particular topic. Feel free to skip some points if that’s your cup of tea, or if you’re just cruising and find that the points I’m bringing up are not of your interest at all and you’re scrolling by? That’s fine too!

If you’re sticking around though, thank you!

The Points:

Intro: What Do I Mean?           a.k.a. What’s The Deal With Suho (Again)?

Webtoon!Suho vs. KDrama!Suho           Is K-Drama Suho ‘Mary Sue’?

Why K-Drama!Suho Needs To Step Up

How K-Drama Lowkey Didn’t Capture Seojun and Suho’s Friendship

Conclusion: #TeamJugyeong

Full disclosure: I absolutely, completely adore True Beauty — both the drama and webtoon — and this is purely written from my own point of view, based on the thoughts I’ve accumulated by my own deductions. There certainly will be criticism, but mostly I just want to put it out there to hear out what others are also objectively thinking about this. So, let’s go!

I will try to make this one short, but let’s see how this goes :D

Now.

Intro: What Do I Mean? a.k.a. What’s The Deal With Suho (Again)?

To start this, if you’ve read my first meta, then you would know first-hand that I’m completely fascinated with Suho. That is, the webtoon version that’s been presented of him. I find him intriguing for a character that is quite “dull” — but only because that dullness played a part more than just him being a “cool” and “distant” character.

I’ve mentioned before that I do critically think Suho is clinically depressed. It’s actually proven in the original Webtoon that, especially after Seyeon’s death, he went to a therapist and was taking medications for it. Though I’m not quite sure if he’s still following any medical routine in this current arc (the adult arc), we do see a recurring theme in Suho wherein he seemed to struggle with finding any proper passion, it became an important plot device when it was made clear to him that “he never tried hard enough [for anything]”. and him falling back into a certain habit (studying) to avoid the sadness.

(I’m not quite sure the exact quote, but it’s been mentioned again that he was studying to distract himself when his sister confronted him about it.)

I find the way the author portrayed what I’ve perceived as a protagonist with this prominent mental illness was quite refreshing? Not in the way that it glorified the mental illness or the trauma Suho was experiencing which some authors or dramas tend to do, no — what the author had planted was precise, it was realistic.

Suho struggled in a way that’s consistent (from his teen years up to his adulthood, I mean), but you can’t really tell. And that’s the thing with mental illness, a lot of the time, we don’t really see it – but it’s there. In Suho’s case particularly, it doesn’t just go away when Seyeon’s death was finally accepted and the friendship between Seojun and Suho were amended. It’s still there.

That’s quite intricate for the author to do, isn’t it?

Of course, there is so much more to Suho — which I think I’ll be implying here and there throughout this meta — but if you’d like to read more on it, the first meta is just me fangirling from the start till the end.

Now that that’s over with...

Webtoon!Suho vs. KDrama!Suho

I think I briefly mentioned that, for a moment there, I was kinda scared — but also superbly interested and excited – when they announced that True Beauty will be adapted to a drama.

For the first few episodes, especially episodes 1 - 6, it was super engaging, it was sweet, and the chemistry between the casts were absolutely *chef’s kiss*

Now, episode seven was where it went a little downhill for me.

I’ve always had a slight problem with how they’ve portrayed Suho being a “fighter” — that is, him picking up Jiu Jitsu in the drama.

Now, I know! I know! I have the same thought — the drama and the webtoon are two completely different adaptions that really mirrored one another based on characters and premise, and that’s about it. I’ve made peace with that, I enjoyed it even! But I was still a bit iffy about this particular trait because, for me particularly, it was important for me that Suho wasn’t perfect.

And guess what? He wasn’t.

In the webtoon, Suho can’t fight. The one time Seyeon and him almost got into a fight when they were in middle school, Seojun was the one who actually had experience in street fighting or brawling to defeat the bullies. And this is quite important, especially if you’ve been a writer or an author or, hell, even an audience to these mediums, “perfect” characters can often become “mary sue”.

But the thing about the k-drama is, Suho’s ability to fight was purposeful — which was why it was okay for me in the end. It was a way to introduce his father and the strained in relationship they had, he faced foes several times, and, most importantly, he had to protect Jugyeong (karaoke scene).

Now that I’ve seen (SPOILER FOR PREVIEW EPISODE 9) that he could also be musically-inclined? ...yikes. And, yes, okay, I get it! The actor is an idol, so it’s a great homage to his career, but it was still...

It felt like the writers were desperate to fill the gaps for Suho possibly being “dull” as this typical cool and distant character — when, in reality, Suho’s existence as is was quite enough. He didn’t need to steal Seojun’s fighting ability, and he especially didn’t need to rob Seyeon’s musical passion too, to be interesting and have depths of his own, do you get me?

In fact, he was without all of that, and his romance — however short-lived — with Jugyeong was still so sweet and enjoyable in the webtoon. And that’s the appeal of Suho, I think; Suho doesn’t need to be “more” for Jugyeong (like, all he did was study and read horror comics with Jugyeong), just as Jugyeong doesn’t have to appear “more” (with her make-up etc) for them to be interesting to each other. They like one another in spite all of that.

To be honest, if they had made the room about Suho’s mom, which would've thrown people off because “aren’t we still stuck in the Seyeon Arc”?, that’d be an interesting plot line since I have a feeling that the webtoon will be using that as a major plot device soon BUUUUUUT that’s a theory for another day! So—

Why 👏 K-Drama!Suho 👏 Needs 👏 To 👏 Step 👏 Up 👏👏👏

Because, honey, being unnecessarily possessive doesn’t look good on you.

I’m so, SO GLAD that Seojun actually talked some sense into him! Seojun’s absolutely right! In the end, it’s up to Jugyeong who she will choose as her romantic partner! All this, him-walking-in-and-demanding-Jugyeong-to-come-to-him-in-the-slightest-chance-she’ll-be-going-out-with-another-guy is getting boring. And you know what, my guy, you haven’t even asked her out or anything! (Besides from THAT scene at the end of Ep 8, you know what I mean lol)

Like, I didn’t mind when he was just following her because he was curious and jealous, and that led him to quietly “put a stop” to Jugyeong's blind date because the man obviously had bad intentions. I also understood when he threatened Semi Lee’s boyfriend into apologising. That’s fine - while he was manipulating the situation, it wasn’t exactly him telling and/or demanding Jugyeong to blindly follow him and/or go with him or anything.

I actually find it so, so sweet when it became a common phrase between them for Suho to always ask Jugyeong how she’s doing ( “Are you okay?” ) because that’s essentially what his character builds up to: this protector, that goes beyond keeping Jugyeong’s bare-face a secret. He’s really out there making sure Jugyeong is safe, and that’s okay!

That was the character he was establishing to be.

But then the writers pulled out this obsessive and possessive jerk out of their ass? That isn’t Suho. That’s contradicting through the whole build-up of Suho and Jugyeong’s characters from episode one to six. The whole point of why they leaned on one another is because they trust each other so, so, so much.

But in episode seven, Suho was falsely blaming Jugyeong (for sleeping when he was the one who napped) just because he’s “flustered”, taking it out on her when the baseball player just asked for her number (which, well, was understandably creepy, but like, chill bro); and in episode eight, Suho was glaring at Jugyeong the whole time just because he thinks she’s ignoring him and she was around Seojun so much?

Dude....... you never even apologised for those words that you knew hurt Jugyeong in episode 5.

Suho, babes, I love you, but - no.

I get so frustrated because ‘anger’ was never Suho’s default expression; he never truly has a temper. That was always more of Seojun’s trait and it worked with Seojun because it’s consistent throughout his character (in the webtoon). The few times Suho was actually angry to the point of nearly instigating violence in the webtoon are only because he’s pushed by this deep sadness [over the loss of Seyeon].

Rather than a glare in the scene in the beginning of the camp, it’d be more in-character if Suho’d looked like a sad puppy. Because if anything, wouldn’t Suho feel threatened since he has this deep-rooted belief that he doesn’t deserve happiness (a canon line admitted by Suho, himself, in webtoon, and spoken by Seojun towards Suho in K-Drama) and therefore, would have this inferioty complex and would never think Jugyeong would be interested in him? Which was why she’s going to Seojun a lot?

Now, let’s talk about Seojun.

How K-Drama Lowkey Didn’t Capture Seojun and Suho’s Friendship

I think one of the most prominent thing about Seojun and Suho’s friendship was how much they respected one another — especially when it came to their shared love interest in Jugyeong.

This K-Drama? (Sighs) Butchered it a little? Yeah.

Which isn’t wrong, no! But I felt like... firstly, it’s overdue; it’s making Suho look really, really not pretty (character-wise) next to Seojun, which I think is a misstep for the production because shouldn’t your male lead be persistently desirable? (But I didn’t mind lol, my heart is half-rooting for Seojun already *sighs dreamily*); and it really, most importantly, hurt the absolute loyalty and pureness that Suho and Seojun shared together in the webtoon.

Because when Seojun knew that Suho and Jugyeong liked each other? He backed off. He did. He didn’t say one word — not even a slip of a tongue — about his feelings towards Jugyeong.

But Suho somewhat knew, right? And he backed off when he knew he was disappointing Jugyeong by his departure. He makes way for Seojun to be there, however he can be, for Jugyeong while he’s not around. And when they started dating, Seojun and Jugyeong? Suho was supportive throughout.

He was never jealous, there was never one instance where he showed his dislike, and even when Jugyeong casted doubt or talked with Suho about her relationship problems, Suho was always rooting for the both of them. He wanted them to work.

They were all excellent friends.

I understand why and how the K-Drama ended up the way they did currently at episode eight, but in my opinion, I feel like it’s a bit disrespectful to the true friendship that Seojun and Suho shared in the webtoon only to present them as these unending rivals when... when you think about it, it isn’t really Seojun and Suho?

Cause obviously webtoon!Seojun and webtoon!Suho, once they’ve made up that is, were extremely reliable towards one another; they were very encouraging (besides from the slight hiccup when Seojun got a bit jealous); and they were incredibly loyal and understanding of one another’s situation.

I hope we’ll see glimpses of it more in the future, ‘cause I’d pay for nice and slightly-realistic progression of friendship that’s somehow mixed up with romance and how these people are coping with it, rather than just seeing two boys glare at one another while my girl Jugyeong just wanted to go to the toilet 😆

Conclusion #TeamJugyeong

I just want this girl to stop being pushed-and-pulled and happy, man.

I’m still looking forward to more of the episodes and the webtoon, though! I still love the casts, the production, the way the story is flowing so far (because I wanna know what’s gonna happen, you know?) but I do think Suho could’ve been written a bit better? Or, at least, with a bit more consistency?

Or, I mean, maybe he could just start apologising for every reckless actions rather than him getting away with it because he saved Jugyeong? Maybe?

I really still adore him, and I’m still rooting so much for Suho because the times when he was alone with her, he was super sweet? And immediately the sincerity and the core of what made Jugyeong and Suho so appealing to me just came out? Like he has that potential that webtoon!Suho is already at.

I love them so much, ugh.

(Although Seojun, bro, I’m lowkey on your side too. That bracelet he did for her was 💗💗💗💗💗)

I hope everyone’s doing well, keeping each other safe, and if my head’s running wild again, I’ll keep you posted akdjksjhskdhf

Thank you so much for reading!!!!

[rpgmgames]

September’s Featured Game: Ghost Hospital

DEVELOPER(S): Lev, Kip, Rose, Tredlocity, C, Bittersweet ENGINE: RPGMaker MV GENRE: Adventure, RPG WARNINGS: Anxiety, Body horror, Implied child harm SUMMARY: Ghost Hospital is a game about anxiety, depression, despair, mental rock bottoms, and, of course, ghosts. You play as Robin, a twelve-year-old girl who has an anxiety disorder and is very much alive in this hospital meant for beings that are not alive. Frankly, her anxiety was already bad enough before she landed in a hospital full of dead people, the still-shambling shells of ancient ghosts who try to take her down for a sweet taste of life, and the hospital directors hellbent on keeping her contained, and more importantly, away from the reason she's REALLY there. Thankfully, you have your new friends Jay and Sarcastic Ghost- Jay is a ghost about your age, and still a very new arrival to the hospital, and Sarcastic Ghost…well, he's an amorphous blob of a ghost, who talks a lot despite not having a mouth.

Download the demo here!

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Lev: Hey, my name is Lev! I'm an artist and storyteller, and though I've wanted to make games for a long time, this is my first serious attempt! Most of my work is about my experiences in mental illness. Kip: I'm a freelance artist being allowed to write cheap jokes in ghost form. Rose: I'm a freelance writer and editor for the game! I also work on dialogue and story drafting. Tredlocity: My name is Tredlocity! I do some character designs and writing in the game! C: c / ghoul is a character designer, comic artist and Halloween enthusiast. They're currently apart of several indie game teams and are writing the webcomic, This Dark Forest of Ours. Bittersweet: I'm Kendall (AKA Bittersweet), and I'm the resident music person (one of two, technically, but the other left the project unfortunately.) This is my first (and thus far only) major soundtrack composition project, but thus far, it's been a satisfying one!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Lev: Ghost Hospital is a game about anxiety, and the game was born out of an idea to put someone in the shoes of someone with clinical anxiety and depression without going for the prototypical 'horror game' or 'walking simulator', giving more game-friendly, practical narrative and gameplay examples of how it effects people.

How long have you been working on your project? *Lev: The game started development in late 2016 as a thesis project for college. At its inital completion, it was more of a beta or proof of concept than a demo- in its current state, it's far closer to what we have envisioned for the final project.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Lev: Absolutely! The biggest influences are OFF, Yume Nikki, and Sweet Home, and a lot of Gameboy Color graphics and aesthetics- namely, Pokemon GSC and the GBC Zelda Games.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Lev: RPG Maker is a versatile engine, but still fairly restrictive, so getting all the effects I wanted to work was challenging. Mental illness and real life have been taking a toll on development time, too. Getting things to work took teaching myself some javascript, and after being in serious development for this long, I've found ways to motivate myself to keep working. Having other people checking in on you helps, too.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Lev: In its very first inital pitch, it was much closer to Yume Nikki, being more atmospheric and serious. At some point in character and world development, though, I couldn't bear to make it a stoic adventure, and with most of the stuff I already take inspiration from, it's hard for me to not put jokes into the media I make, anyway.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Lev: At the beginning, it was just me working on everything. The first people I brought on board were my concept artist, Kip, my writer, Rose, and my musician, Bittersweet. I can't do music on my own, and I knew from word go that I wanted this to be the kind of game with a strong story and a lot of unique NPCs.

What is the best part of developing the game? *Lev: Call me biased, but the most fun part is making the art for it. It's hard for me to motivate myself to keep working if I'm just using default placeholder sprites, I have to make new NPCs to keep myself interested. It's not the most convenient, but it's fun to do, and it actually really does help with my workflow.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Lev: Oh, absolutely. RPG Maker games have a bad reputation for being very cut-and-paste, and there's a lot of those out there. But it just takes a bit of effort to make yourself and your game stand out, and it can be done absolutely beautifully! The latest one I've played was Hylics, completely surreal and wonderful.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Lev: Robin is a sort of proxy character for myself, so...I'm a bit biased on her. I love Jay a lot, too, he's kinda the friend I wish I had in elementary school when all this first showed up, haha. *Tredlocity: As someone who faces anxiety on a daily basis, I relate to Robin a lot. Though I would say my favorite character is Jay, since he can shoot plasma and has blue hair. *C: I'm partial to Coop [upcoming character], not just bc I designed them but bc I love big sister types. *Rose: I also relate to robin and jay! i try to control my anxiety while remaining positive and hopeful about situations. *Bittersweet: As an anxiety-riddled person, I relate immensely to Robin. However, my favorite character by far has to be Carna. (There's another character I'm particularly looking forward to when the full version of the game is released, though~)

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Lev: Honestly, there's a few things I wanted the game to be able to do at the start that I wasn't able to make happen. I spent a LOT of time trying to get it to work without having to go in and code it myself, and I wish I'd been able to take a step back, remind myself that this is my first serious project, and just stop worrying so much about what, in the end, would've been a minor detail, anyway.

Once you finish your project, do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Lev: Chances are I'm gonna leave it alone, but if I go back, I HAVE had a bit of a 'Ghost College' AU where they're exploring a haunted old library on their college campus instead of being trapped in a ghost hospital. It'd probably be cool as a point-and-click adventure, but it wouldn't exactly be a canon exploration of the postgame.

What do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Lev: I'm actually working on a few other projects, so being able to work on those more freely would be great, especially considering I'm really bad at keeping my own limits in mind, haha.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Lev: Mostly, I'm afraid that making a game about a subject like this, as a minority and with other people in my team that would be considered minorities, that releasing this game to the mainstream public would get me a lot of negative attention from people who think that people like us don't belong in the gaming sphere. It's pretty nerve-wracking, but after the positive reception of games like Undertale and SLARPG, it's getting easier to convince myself that I should be more afraid of people just generally not liking the game, haha.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Lev: Have someone to work with! DEFINITELY have someone to work with. Even if it's just a friend to bounce ideas off of or someone to ask if you've been working on the game, having someone else involved helps a lot. And specifically for RPG Maker- if you can, replace your default font with a different one. It's a minor detail, but it goes a long way towards making your game feel more original. *C: Always have a backlog of different projects. I have about four or five ideas constantly on rotation so I don't burn myself out on just one. *Tredlocity: My advice for any creatives is to start small, and just get it out. Feedback is a great motivator, and the only way to get better at something is to keep doing it! *Rose: I think some good advice is to write a few drafts of whatever it is you're working on in order to see which version you'd like to continue! let your work have different scenarios and situations based on various elements you insert or take out of a story, game, or other piece. *Bittersweet: Don't pressure yourself to a dead-set deadline. I know, you want to get this project out eventually, and if you're on a roll with development then all the power to you, but if you're struggling, don't let it burn you out. That's just unhealthy.

Question from last month's featured dev @toxicshroomswamp: How do you feel about your main character(s)? What piece of life advice would you give them? *Lev: I love my main characters, I love them like my own children. I would probably tell Robin that she'll learn to handle everything, it won't be so scary forever. I'd tell Jay that stopping for a minute and thinking is way more important than it seems. I'd tell Sarcastic ghost to shut up.

We mods would like to thank Lev, Kip, Rose, Tredlocity, C, and Bittersweet for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Ghost Hospital if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[03josten]

can u recommend somega movies and tv that have good mental illness rep?

yeah!!!!

Banana, season 1 episode 6.

The main character of this episode, Amy has OCD and the episode follows her daily struggles and how it interferes with her work, social and dating life. Amy is also a lesbian and starts dating a policewoman throughout the episode, so some nice lesbian rep there!!! Think the episode is on dailymotion!

Lady Dynamite

This is a comedic fictionalised version of Maria Bamford's life as she tries to get back to work following a stay in a psych ward due to her bipolar 2 disorder. It's a really fun show with accurate MI rep and great MI comedy. I don't think there's anything trigger warning worthy but correct me if I'm wrong.

High Life

This is a short mini series focusing on a teenage girl as she experiences her first manic episode. Probably the most accurate mania portrayal I've seen. Trigger warning for attempted assault and student/teacher relationships (nothing happens but there's an attempt on the students part.)

Girl, Interrupted

Really one of my favourite movies of all time. Definitely one of the only movies set in a psych hospital that isn't a horror. Based off of the memoir of the same name, Susanna Kaysen attempts suicide and is voluntarily admitted to a psych ward for teenage girls. She is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, but at the time BPD meant being on the borderline between neurosis and psychosis, so it's not an accurate portrayal of the modern BPD diagnosis. It deals with psychosis, depression, OCD and disordered eating mostly. Trigger warning for suicide, both attempted and a very graphic successful suicide scene near the end of the movie. There are also racist remarks made towards one of the nurses at once point, mentions of incest and drug abuse.

Euphoria

I really really love the portrayal of chronic mental illness in this show. As a child, the main character Rue suffered from OCD and panic attacks, then as she grew older, became a drug addict and is eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Really loved the portrayal of both bipolar mania and depression in this show, as well as the fact that the main character is an addict who isn't demonised for her addiction. Rue's love interest, Jules, also has struggles with mental health and was admitted onto a psych ward as a child where she self harmed. Trigger warning for drug abuse, self injury, rape, domestic violence and overdoses.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

I PROMISE THE TITLE IS SATIRICAL. The show follows main character Rebecca, a lawyer with borderline personality disorder. She runs into her ex boyfriend one day and decides to up and leave her life to try to win him back. This show is really important in breaking down female stereotypes in the media and is very interesting and diverse!! Rebecca does not received her diagnosis until later on in the show. Trigger warnings for suicide attempts, toxic relationships and stalking.

Binge

The creators of this web series are currently working on turning this into a full TV or streaming service series, so as of now there only exists one episode and a prequel that you can watch on youtube. This is a fictionalised retelling of the main actress' experience with bulimia and alcoholism. It's a dark comedy so though it touches on some troubling issues, it's quite enjoyable and kind of takes the shock horror out of talking about eating disorders. Angela is a chef/baker whose life is falling apart. While blackout drunk at a bar, she signs herself up for an eating disorder treatment clinic. Trigger warning for disordered behaviours like restriction, binging, purging and exercise, as well as alcoholism of course.

Some other shows I recommend: The Haunting of Hill House, Tragicomic, Bojack Horseman, SKAM, SKAM España, Shameless (US) and Maniac.

[alexjenniferabeille]

Comparative Analysis Essay 10/8/19

They’re Not Lazy

We all get lazy sometimes. There’s often things we’d rather just not do, usually in favor of doing something else, but sometimes in favor of doing nothing at all. Teens especially get flak for their laziness, which makes sense as they’re growing into themselves and learning to process responsibility while managing burgeoning interests in all kinds of activities. But what happens when you regularly call out a child��s incessant laziness, and you’re wrong? You can only make such a judgement based on what you see and what you know; and what you see is a child not cleaning their room, not doing their homework, not completing chores despite multiple reminders and sometimes even threats of punishment, and what you know is that that behavior corresponds to laziness. It’s beyond time to expand that knowledge. There exists a set of medical symptoms that has its own name, separate from the disorders it may be a part of, called Executive Dysfunction. Executive Dysfunction is not something you will typically be diagnosed with; instead, it is an under-discussed piece of the puzzle of many discrete mental illnesses that too often are overlooked, especially in young people. Tragically, when you call someone with Executive Dysfunction lazy with enough regularity, it can cause internalized self-loathing, decreased self-esteem, further motivation issues, and overall increases the negativity in their lives. It’s unhealthy, unintentionally abusive, and deserves to be addressed. Because while laziness and Executive Dysfunction produce similar observable effects in one’s life—namely “lazy behaviors”—they differ significantly in terms of where the behaviors come from, how one responds to the accusation of laziness, and the means of correcting the behaviors. When these differences are successfully understood, the knowledge can allow us to protect our most vulnerable from the psychological damage that frequently comes with this misattribution of laziness.

Laziness is first and foremost a decision, one we frequently make subconsciously. Not often do we sit down on the couch with the intention to be lazy, but four episodes of Brooklyn 99 later and you’re really not feeling like getting up to make dinner anymore, so you order in instead. Simply put, laziness is an avoidance of responsibility. Whether it’s because you’d rather watch a show than go for a walk, rather enjoy the company of friends instead of cleaning, or you’d rather just plain not go to the DMV, it’s all due to choosing one thing over another, more responsible thing. Laziness is, in fact, a perfect example of what proper Executive Functioning looks like. Every healthy brain has what is called Executive Function; the ability to prioritize, begin, carry out, and finish tasks correctly is fundamental to modern life. However, there are many cases where this mental process is damaged, and these cases are considered as a group to be Executive Functioning disorders. Disorders like Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Autism Spectrum Condition, Clinical Depression, Bipolar Disorder, and many others have the capacity to undermine the brain’s Executive Functioning abilities. This appears in a great variety of ways, but for the most part it is observably similar to laziness. It impacts everyone to different degrees, and is not something anyone has control over, much as society would like us to believe the opposite.

Control is the basic, or perhaps even only building block of human behavior, or so we are led to believe. We are fed this myth by the world around us; traditional media and social media both are frequently used to characterize poor behavior, including lazy behavior, as a personal failing. If someone seems lazy, our society says, they merely aren’t controlling their behaviors well enough. They’re just not trying hard enough. As such, it is hard for many to grasp the concept that what we do is influenced by much more than just the individual decisions we make. People with Executive Dysfunction cannot overcome their deficits by sheer force of will. And unfortunately, for many, desperately trying to can feel physically and emotionally painful. When you consider a child who will not clean their room, the typical parental response is some form of discipline. For children who are merely lazy, the threat of discipline is frequently enough to get them going, to various degrees of success (children are, of course, far more complicated than the scope of this discussion is able to address). When the child is struggling with Executive Dysfunction, even the threat of discipline may not be able to unlock their ability to clean. Their brain is struggling with some part of the process—they may not be able to start cleaning of their own volition. If they can manage to start, they may struggle to stay on task. If the clutter becomes overwhelming (sensory overwhelm is a common symptom of many Executive Functioning disorders), perhaps they have difficulty navigating where to start, or in what order to clean, and subsequently shut down from frustration. For children who persistently struggle to clean their room, parents may be tempted to call the children themselves “lazy” as opposed to their behaviors. For children who are lazy, this may be a wake up call to their behavior. For children with Executive Dysfunction, this is a judgement on their character. They cannot do the task, for reasons they struggle to understand, and will internalize this characterization. Frequently, parents call these children lazy time and time again, and become frustrated with their inabilities, presuming it to be a matter of lack of control. If only their child would just try harder, if only they would just get their homework and housework done. This characterization of their struggling child shapes how the child perceives themself, and frequently leads to low self-esteem, self-loathing, and can contribute to the formation of depression, and even physical or emotional self harm. Typically, we can identify when a child is genuinely struggling with performing activities by genuinely listening to them, as Executive Dysfunction frequently causes emotional distress due to its universal impact. A person with Executive Dysfunction struggles with tasks they want to do just as much as tasks they don’t. It can be just as difficult to get up and get a snack you desperately want as it can be to do a chore (a notable exception may exist for some children with ADHD or Autism. Their Executive Dysfunction may be influenced by their interest-based nervous system).

When we listen to our youth and hear their concerns, and with an understanding that Executive Dysfunction exists, we can, as a society, begin to make changes in how we should address their lazy behaviors. Drawing on the lazy child not cleaning their room example from before, it’s often enough to use a disciplinary approach, tailored to the personality of the child. Even with a difficult child who has an attitude, it would be a matter of approach (that may even include counseling!) to get them to overcome their laziness. But when the child is suffering emotionally, discipline will serve only to make matters worse. A child who may have an Executive Functioning disorder needs very different resources, and even if a parent is not sure that this is the case, they should involve their pediatrician or look into finding a child psychologist. There are a myriad of options to aid the struggling child. Medication, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and working with the children themselves to find suitable accommodations are just a few. To use myself as an example (I have professionally diagnosed ADHD), I often find having a friend or family member in the room with me while I clean is enough to keep me on task and helps when I feel overwhelmed by clutter. Even something as simple as kindly being asked if I’ve begun to do a task can suddenly make the task feel possible. I also take medication that allows me to focus and prioritize successfully, among many other social and cognitive benefits. What had never worked, and still doesn’t work, is being shamed when I fail to overcome my own brain’s incapabilities.

We should not live in a world where “don’t shame your child,” and “listen when your child says they’re struggling” are potentially radical suggestions. As a member of a community full of late-diagnosed adults, however, I’ve seen far too many people discuss at length the kind of treatment they received from their parents (and frequently other authority figures) as children and how much damage it did to them. As a late-diagnosed adult myself, I am still disentangling my internalized shame. Calling your children lazy, shaming them for what they may genuinely have no control over, instead of leading with empathy and avoiding name-calling and blaming, does real, long-term damage that may persist throughout the rest of their life. Executive Dysfunction exists, and no matter how similar the inaction may seem, it is not laziness. Parents, stop calling your children lazy. Listen to their concerns, and if necessary, seek help. Signed, every late-diagnosed adult with Executive Dysfunction.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

TV Review: Gotham (Spoilers)

Season 5, Episode 1: Year Zero

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this character analysis the day after the episode airs in the U.S, so if you haven’t seen it here in the U.K. don’t read on until you have.

General Reaction:

Well well, I can honestly say this episode has well and truly gripped the dark tone of the Batman mythos. Yes Season 4B definitely was getting there but with the Jerome/Jeremiah twist it did kind of take away from the overall feel and vibe of the series in replace of what exactly was happening with our resident Clown Prince of Crime, however here we had the atmosphere, the dark characters and that borderline horror vibe that has only ever been shown in the 90s Batman animated series and The Dark Knight.

The episode starts with a flashforward and, for anyone actively following Gotham’s social media campaign throughout December, you will see that when we see what has become of No Man’s Land on Day 391 and throughout December there have been teases for Days 1, 22, 87 and 151 it’s been a very real world dystopian situation. The only downside to a flashforward is, no matter the peril of the characters we see throughout this season now, we know that from Day 87 which is present day for the season and Day 391 that the characters we see in the flashforward remain alive.

The fact we know what is to come from the trailers yet only a handful of these events have barely been teased in this episode is very exciting as a fan of the show and the material. There were some shocks but inevitable shocks and teases that you can tell may not pay off.

Characters:

As always, this is a list of characters in order of my favourites for the episode, I will also do an end-series roundup compiling the entire five seasons with a list in order of my favourites throughout the entire series when this season ends.

Bruce Wayne:

In a shocking turn of events, teenage Bruce Wayne was actually my favourite character in this episode...more shockingly so is Jim was very close behind him. Yes this series for me has always been about the villains for me but, as you can see from my rankings, the villains are actually at the middle section of my list sandwiched in between three heroes either side.

I have really enjoyed David Mazouz becoming Batman in both Season 4 and here, what I love most about it is while he is fully embracing the vigilante nature, he is still learning and making mistakes.

Honestly, one of my favourite moments in the episode is when he was using those night-vision goggles to detain Scarecrow’s men in the clinic’s basement and then the lights came back on and he was blinded because of having the goggles on. It shows he was forward thinking in using the goggles as fans know when he becomes Batman he was have night-vision tech built into his cowl, but will obviously learn from these mistakes.

I am also liking the Bruce-Jim friendship, not only are they consciously building towards the Batman-Gordon alliance we all know from the comics but also it is being done so organically. The searchlight Jim uses, the fact Bruce mysteriously disappears when the action starts, I bet Jim knows Bruce is up to something but doesn’t want to say anything as they need all the allies they can get.

Bruce’s style as well is giving me such Michael Keaton vibes that I can almost see Mazouz’s Bruce Wayne growing up to become Michael Keaton’s Batman.

Also, now that David Mazouz has finally got through puberty and his voice has properly changed, he isn’t as annoying as he was because his voice isn’t cracking. I am very excited to see the final steps Bruce takes 

Jim Gordon:

Ben McKenzie is finally becoming a reputable James Gordon. However, as much as I can see David Mazouz becoming Michael Keaton’s Batman, I still cannot quite see Ben McKenzie becoming Gary Oldman’s Commissioner Gordon. That’s not to say I can’t see Ben McKenzie as a Commissioner Gordon but for me, Gary Oldman was always the best incarnation of the character from The Dark Knight Trilogy.

I really liked seeing Captain Gordon struggle here, he is currently trying to make himself the beacon of hope in No Man’s Land and yet is getting no help from the outside, the only help he received was when Bruce choppered in resources from Wayne Enterprises and even that got shot down. Unclear as to who by at this point but I have my suspicions.

One thing I have always loved about the Batman-Gordon relationship is while Batman is the Dark Knight operating in the shadows, Gordon has always been the face of a hero and an everyday hero at that. Ben McKenzie does portray that rather well, you can tell there is a co-morbidity between Bruce and Jim’s motives in this new world order. They both want to bring a sense of order and justice to Gotham but are going about it in different ways. One tries obeying the law, one takes the law into his own hands. The beauty is as both grow in their personal lives they both learn to rely and adapt on each other’s strengths.

I really liked his confrontation with Scarecrow because, not only did it stir up old feelings which I will talk about when talking about Scarecrow, but it was two-way battle between order and chaos and I loved it.

Also the fact he definitively made an enemy out of Penguin and saved Barbara, both of whom have been intriguing relationships for the character since the show’s first season, proves an interesting development considering on that Day 397 flashforward we see Gordon siding with Penguin and Riddler with Barbara nowhere to be seen.

Selina Kyle:

I have loved this interpretation of Selina Kyle, Camren Bicondova has embodied a teenage Catwoman to such a quality degree that she for me is the teenage version of Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman from Batman Returns. She has the same attitude and the same personality.

We didn’t see a lot of her here but we learned a lot for her character going forward this season. Firstly, she and Alfred never got out of Gotham before the bridges blew so are stuck in the clinic which is part of GCPD territory and a resource hub for medical supplies.

Selina has become paralyzed and while her spine has been saved from shattering it is still the case that she can’t walk and has become understandably depressed by that.

She also blames Bruce for her current situation because Jeremiah would not have gone after her if not for the fact that she was important to Bruce. So while Bruce is constantly at her bedside and Alfred doesn’t seem to leave the clinic, Selina has grown very resentful in those 87 days and I am sure the resentment will grow as the season goes on but in that beautifully twisted way that we know the Batman-Catwoman relationship to be.

I am curious to know who “The Witch” is, if I had to guess I would say Lee because she of course has a doctor background and Hugo Strange did “fix” both her and Riddler. Hopefully we find out in Episode 2.

The Riddler:

Speaking of The Riddler, yes he is one of my favourite DC villains and Corey Michael-Smith has been very hit and miss over the five seasons, but Season 4B and going into Season 5 I am very happy with his performance.

Not only have you got Ed now firmly embracing his Riddler persona as he is questioning why “Idiot Ed” is taking control while he sleeps leading him to wake up in random destitute places, but considering he did not interact with any main characters this episode but rather that one homeless man yet we know on Day 391 he sides with Gordon, Bullock and Penguin to defend Gotham, it poses a lot of questions that I am sure The Riddler himself would be very happy about.

Also I want to know what his relationship with Lee is now like considering the two died Romeo and Juliet style but still did both kill each other. We know Lee is alive from the trailers so I eagerly await this reunion.

Final point is on Ed’s hair, I know Corey Michael Smith has shoulder-length hair and for him to get that rather sophisticated Riddler style he just needs to comb and style it back, we saw this with Jim Carrey’s Ed in Batman Forever, it’s just a great callback and I love it.

Penguin:

Oswald is back in his comfort zone which is a position of power in a fortress. Robin Lord Taylor is best as Penguin when he is playing the Penguin as a power player rather than a whinging little brat.

It was confirmed here that he has taken over City Hall as his zone and is in possession of rather dodgy ammunition. Regardless it gives him the position of power in trades as he has resources the city needs. The problem is the only trading he seems to do is with The Sirens and they don’t exactly like him, particularly Tabitha.

Also the fact that he sends Penn out to do his dirty work, how is Penn still alive? We know Zsasz is in this season so where is he and why isn’t he at Penguin’s right hand?

I always admire the fact Robin Lord Taylor keeps that limp from Season 1, Episode 1 going and yes he apparently does it by putting a stone in his shoe but it never looks goofy or overacted. The fact they temporarily fixed it in this episode I thought was going to be a cop out at first and a behind the scenes choice of Robin’s maybe wanting to walk normally for the season, however when Jim brilliantly shot him in the knee and Penguin had that hilarious tantrum afterwards I thought “Ah yes, order restored”.

I love the fact that Penguin now has a hatred for Jim that isn’t muddled with some weird one-sided friendship, he wants Jim dead. It does create intrigue as to why he seemingly sides with Jim on Day 391 to defend Gotham. I await answers eagerly. 

Scarecrow:

Scarecrow has gone from being a tease in Season 1 to the opening threat at the start of Season 4 to Jerome’s henchman in the back half of Season 4 and now he seems to be his own boss with his own rules.

I love the fact he has an army and seemingly strings his victims up like Scarecrows, his look is eerily similar to the comics and even the 90s animated series. It’s also a more realistic depiction of the Arkham games costume. It just looks so dead on for the character.

While the GCPD, Penguin and Sirens are seemingly more about a defensive strategy, Scarecrow is very much on the offensive, he’s not shy to go out with his minions and reap and pillage. He has his fear toxin, he knows how to swing that scythe and he knows how to strike fear.

As I said with Jim, during their confrontation old wounds were opened not only with Scarecrow’s first main encounter with Jim at the start of Season 4 but also the fact Jim and Harvey were responsible for his dad’s death way back in Season 1.

This episode definitely brought Scarecrow to the forefront of villainy for the series and proved why he will become such a formidable threat for Batman in the future.

Barbara Kean:

I have loved Barbara for the past three seasons, Season 1 I found her very dull and Season 2 she was all over the place but since then and since she embraced her villainy, she has become such a bad-ass and brilliant character.

I really love her style in the promotions, the white trench coat and the pixie cut hairstyle are very striking and suit a female crime boss of her standing. However, her look in this episode was more lesbian club owner and yes that’s essentially what she is but she’s also the leader of a group that runs a turf and owns valuable resources for the city.

The fact she is still willing to trade with Penguin despite that fact that he killed the man who her best friend loved is very telling of the type of businesswoman she is. She knows that the city has gone to hell and also knows her club is not only responsible for the safety of all women that seek sanctuary but also has a monopoly on the food supply for the city. This doesn’t mean she is just going to roll over and show her belly to Penguin’s demands but she knows what she wants and how to get it which I love.

My two negatives with the character are firstly the fact their “turf” is female only as it just seems too feminist of an agenda for me. Also when Penguin kills Tabitha she is understandable distraught by it, however when she proclaims “If it’s the last thing I do, I will kill him!” referring to Penguin...not only do we know that Penguin survives beyond this show but also we do not know what happens to Barbara on Day 391 so surely proclaiming this in the first episode as a vendetta is signing her own death certificate?

I hope not because I really like this character, but at the same time she’s survived this long so there is nowhere really to go from here.

Tabitha Galavan:

My favourite Tabitha moment was during Gordon’s opening monologue sequence when one of the men that The Sirens gracially permitted to be on their turf for a while got a little bit touchy with the women and Tabby put a blade to his throat, you hear the sound of a wildcat over it.

We of course know that Tabitha was brought in to be this canon’s version of Tigress but there hasn’t really been any bite to that aside from her becoming Catwoman’s mentor and she is dubbed “Tabby the Tigress” by Ed when she fights Grundy in the Narrows but there is nothing to say she becomes this supervillain.

Obviously now she won’t be because while she is a main character still, Penguin killed her as he promised he would at the end of last season. Again Penguin is a staple character in the Batman mythos and characters like Tabitha and Barbara, even Fish Mooney, while brilliant, aren’t staples. So when they decide to challenge Penguin with a vendetta you know how it will go.

It is very sad that Tabitha died in episode 1, I maybe wanted her to last longer and see Barbara and Tabitha truly become lovers that way Oswald could kill Tabitha not only to avenge his mother but also hurt Barbara and while yes he has done that, for the first episode it didn’t seem warranted.

Ecco:

Ecco makes a brief cameo in this episode towards the end, surprisingly not in her Mummer outfit which resembles Harley Quinn but in a leather-clad look with just the Mummer mask.

Ecco is Jeremiah’s assistant from before he became insane and after he did, that is when she took up the Mummer mantle. From what we see in the trailers she is destined to become Harley Quinn to Jeremiah’s Joker so the fact she is seemingly spying on the GCPD from the shadows possibly for Jeremiah makes sense.

Also the Joker face calling card is a bit of a giveaway.

Others:

By others I mainly mean Bullock, Lucius and Alfred. While all three gents were brilliant as always, they didn’t have any standout moments themselves outside of their established roles. Bullock is there to prop up Jim, Alfred is there to prop up Bruce and Lucius is propping up both of them assisting the GCPD while also kitting out Bruce’s vigilante attire.

Alfred Pennyworth is getting his own series, unfortunately not portrayed by Sean Pertwee but Jack Bannon who does actually look like a younger version but anyway. Maybe because the butler is getting his own series, we’re having less emphasis on the character here? I hope not because I bloody love Sean Pertwee in this role.

Overall I’d say this episode is a strong 8/10, it set the final season up rather well and promises many exciting things to come.

So that’s my review of Gotham “Year Zero”, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more DC TV Reviews as well as other TV Reviews and posts.

[isakohno]

rules:

1. don’t talk about fight club

2. always post the rules

3. answer the questions given to you by the one/s who tagged you

4. give 11 questions

5. tag 11 people

- i was tagged by @engelbeek and @lucassdemaury thanks guys

[ this is super long so i’m cutting it here ]

kailey’s questions:

1. favorite eva season?

listen i’m a purist so og. but favorite remake eva season? skam nl all the way. isa is just soooo great and opinionated and angry and i love it.

2. favorite friend-duo?

sana and isak hands down. they are so similar and they don’t even realize it.

3. most unrealistic thing about skam?

your first time being any good. see: s3 ep 8

4. if you could be cast in as an actor in any remake, which would you choose and why?

skam california. it doesn’t exist but if it did i would want to be in it and i’d be a bi eva that sees cali!isak’s crush on cali!jonas from a mile away.

5. favorite girlsquad member from each remake?

nl: all of them. i love all of them so much. idk. isa or engel??? or all of them

druck: amira

españa: amira

france: daphne or imane

austin: uh jo ?

italia: eva

(haven’t seen wtfock)

6. what’s your overall favorite skam scene/clip?

ekikdkdkdjd oh my god. um. i literally have no idea. maybe s3 ep2 when isak goes over to even’s house?

7. which character has the best fashion sense?

noora or esra (nl)

8. favorite evak remake?

davenzi, hands down. no one else even comes close. maybe crisana.

9. who’s the funniest character?

chris berg, pchris, and isak are all very funny to me in their own way.

10. would you prefer a wlw vilde season or a wlw noora season?

THIS IS SUCH A GREAT QUESTION. wlw vilde, hands down.

11. rank the remakes in order from your favorite to least favorite

nl, druck, españa, (BIG GAP), france, italia, austin. i haven’t seen wtfock.

ludvig’s questions:

1. what’s more important to you; actors thr same age as their characters, actors with the same “struggles” as their characters, or actors with acting experience?

age. or at least LOOK LIKE they could be the age. as much as i love when lgbt actors play lgbt characters, i’m never mad when it’s not the case. overall, probably the least important thing here to me is acting experience. og proved that teenagers with no acting experience can still make a phenomenal show.

2. what character do you see yourself in the most, in the whole skam universe?

matteo. his depression and self medicating hit so close to home for me. i’ve already made posts about that. but it’s not just that. he loves like how i love. he’s touchy, wants constant affection, reassurance. i’m like that in a relationship too. he’s just. me.

3. if you could choose one character in all skam universe to get their own season (and therefore eliminating the chance of all other characters to get their own season), who would it be?

even.

4. favorite chris berg character? (og included)

well listen. og chris. but my two runner ups are cris soto (obviously) and janna.

5. 10 eps per season with 30-40 minute episodes, or 12 eps per season with 20-30 minute episodes?

i guess 10 eps cause that means more clips in a week but really i don’t care

6. how did you find the skam universe?

uh i think s3 of skam had just ended and i saw a gifset of evak’s first kiss and i was like i have to know what that show is right now

7. is skam your main interest?

yeah and i don’t love pointing that out!

8. if you’re lgbtq+; did you find comfort from skam?

of course. especially with the inclusion of wlw from the remakes.

9. what is one topic you think is important that skam (og or remake) hasn’t brought up?

clinical depression. druck had the perfect opportunity but *clenches fist* i guess not. also THERAPY. i want to see a character in therapy.

10. one thing you think og could have handled better?

just the stuff everyone already talks about. sexual assault. isak and sana’s talk. lesbiphobia. but that’s not fun to talk about and it doesn’t make me feel good so i try and avoid it. anger is exhausting.

11. did you follow s4 live?

nope

i’m tagging @ieskeijser @lucassdemaury @daphylecomte @losientojoana @slvtherxn @jonasaugustn (and anyone else who wants to) if you’ve already been tagged you do not have to do mine too. like i always say with these things: do it or don’t.

my questions:

1. og season you could watch as many times as possible and never get tired of?

2. do you avoid the cast (of og/remakes)? why?

3. favorite remake?

4. least favorite character that people love? (og+remakes)

5. which character could you see yourself being best friends with? (og+remakes)

6. which character has the best social media account? (og+remakes)

7. favorite crack ship? (og+remakes)

8. rank the vilde’s from gayest to straightest (og included).

9. if you could be in a (new) remake, which og character would you be the remake of? how would your character be different from the og?

10. do you listen to skam soundtracks in your freetime? (og+remakes)

11. characters that need a season? (og+remakes)

thanks for playing :]

[itsrahulpradeepposts]

5 best Shows About Cyber Crimes

Cyber TV shows are popular and have been fan favourites for a long time now. With the increase in data generation around the world, the rate of cyber crimes has also increased. Hacker TV series and shows created surrounding computer hacking pique the interest of most individuals.

In this blog, we’ll be talking about the most popular cybercrime TV shows you need to watch.

5 best Shows About Cyber Crimes

1. Black Mirror

Written by Charlie Brooker, Black Mirror is an ongoing British science fiction series originally produced by Channel 4 and now runs on Netflix. This cyber crime, sci-fi TV show showcases some of the most intelligent and unique writing anywhere across the entertainment business.

Each episode stands on its own with unique storylines and characters as it is an anthology. However, the basic theme remains the same throughout the show. It talks about the dangers of advanced technology. The concept of black mirror is based on showing society a mirror that gives them a glimpse into the dystopian future. Black mirror also shows us how cutting edge technology manipulates personal life and our behaviour towards life. As cybercrime and hacking become hugely popular, an excellent cyber tv show such as this one surely takes over the headlines and creates quality entertainment for millions of people worldwide.

2. Mr. Robot

An American thriller series and cyber crime TV show, Mr Robot, started in 2015. It was created by Sam Esmail and appeared on the USA Network. The show’s highlight is on the hero, Elliot, a cybersecurity expert and worker by day but an illegal hacker by night.

Elliot suffers from social anxiety and clinical depression. Recruited by an anarchist to join a society of hacktivists, their primary goal is to torpedo the company that employs them. Mr Robot is enjoyed by the audience for its pessimistic narrative, depth of characters, and the mindblowing performance by Rami Malek, who plays Elliot.

3. Person of Interest

Created by Jonathan Nolan, this cybercrime TV show ran from 2011–2016. The show’s hero, Harold Finch, is a reclusive billionaire. He creates a supercomputer for the US government that can help in the prevention of terrorist attacks.

This computer created by Harold has massive data feeds and high analytical abilities. It is incredibly powerful. As this is a top-secret mission, the government decides not to use it to prevent non-terror crimes. Finch cannot let go of this fact due to his guilty conscience and teams up with John Reese, a former CIA agent, to deal with the incident.

4. Silicon Valley

An HBO comedy series, Silicon Valley, began in 2014 and was on air till 2019. The show is centred around Richard, a programmer who created an app called Pied Piper. Richard tries to get investors for it while five other programmers struggle to make their mark in Silicon Valley.

The cyber TV show was created by Mike Judge, John Altschuler, and Dave Krinsky. It showcases the unusual events that take place for five start-up founders. Although the genre of the show is a comedy, it has a lot of dark humour mixed in with the real world of Silicon Valley. It makes a bold statement about the tech community and talks about several technical challenges and cyberattacks.

5. Salvation

A suspense drama made by CBS, Salvation starts with ultra-rich scientist Darius Tanz and college student at MIT, Liam Cole, finding out about an asteroid collision coming their way. Created by Craig Shapiro, Matt Wheeler, and Liz Kruger, Salvation tries to get the asteroid on a different path with only six months in hand. It shows the global implications of such an event taking place.

Closing Thoughts

We have listed the five best cyber crime shows. However, there are many other shows out there that are doing a great job at storytelling and at showing the world more about the tech world.

If you are interested in learning more about such concepts and getting into the world of cybersecurity and crime, join the Cybersecurity online course and power ahead of your career.The course also offers access to personalised mentorship and an advanced curriculum.

[rhegar]

Show!Rhaegar: You’re Not Really Meant to Look That Deeply into Him.

Or, How Game of Thrones Bastardized Rhaegar to Unbastardize Jon. 

So, now that I can finally access the internet from my computer for an unlimited amount of time, I wanted to write down what you’re meant to make of show!Rhaegar, why he annulled his marriage to Elia (even though that shouldn’t even be possible) and how close he is to being book!Rhaegar. And while we’re at it, let me tell you all the reasons why book!Rhaegar would never do such a thing (even if he could.)

I have definitely gotten a lot of inspiration and ideas from @lyannas and @oadara especially about annulment and the complications of Jon being and then not being a bastard, and gotten a lot of useful info from A Wiki of Ice and Fire.  So huge thanks <3 The article contains mentions of rape and dubious consent. 

To begin this, we need to take a look back on what the show has made of Rhaegar so far, and the differences between the show and the book depictions. 

1. In season one, Robert mentions Rhaegar’s kidnapping of Lyanna, but not in detail, just that Rhaegar did something bad to Lyanna. At the end of the season, in episode 10, Bran mentions specifically that Rhaegar kidnapped Lyanna and that Robert started a war for that and killed him, but Lyanna died. Somewhere in the middle of the season, Jorah mentions that Rhaegar was the last dragon while “Viserys is less than the shadow of a snake” painting Rhaegar, for the first time on the show, in a positive light. 

Now, one thing in season one that interested me that nobody else ever notices (or if they do notice, they never talk about it) is when Jon was having a talk with Aemon. I always watched this conversation carefully as it is the first time that Jon communicated with a Targaryen and heard him speak of the family. One odd thing that Aemon said that I noticed is, (as well as I can remember) “But when I heard how they murdered my brother’s son, and his poor son, and the children... even the little children,” and then Aemon later clarifies the line of the latest Targaryen kings on the show, saying that his father was Maekar, and then Aemon’s brother Aegon V (Egg) ruled after him, and then came his son Aerys. This is unlike the books where Aerys is actually the son of Jaehaerys II, not Aegon V, so there’s a king in between that the show skipped. 

Back to the first quote now. When Aemon said “They killed my brother’s son,” he was talking about Aerys. “And his poor son,” that’s Rhaegar. Why would Aegon talk about Rhaegar especially that way? Was there some type of connection between them? Why would Aemon sympathize with Rhaegar especially? In the books, we know that Aemon exchanged letters with Rhaegar, but on the show, Aemon is now dead and we never knew (unless there’s going to be a flashback or if someone is going to find Rhaegar’s letters in Aemon’s records at Castle Black, but I don’t personally think the show gives so much regards to continuity or that Castle Black is going to exist for very long at all.)

2. In season 3, Barristan gives Dany a talk about Rhaegar and how he fought at the battle of the trident and how his men died for him because they believed in him and loved him. Again, Rhaegar is painted in a positive light, as a charismatic and well-loved leader who inspired loyalty. 

3. In season 4, the very first episode. Oberyn finally appears to give us the perspective of Elia’s family on Rhaegar’s deeds. Oberyn calls Rhaegar “beautiful and noble” sarcastically and says that he left Elia for another woman after Elia had been nothing but good and kind to him and his children. He also went as far as to say that Elia loved Rhaegar. What kind of love did he mean? Did she truly love Rhaegar or was she “fond” of him? We can’t tell. 

4. In season 5, the writers seemed to be in a hurry to catch up with reminding us who Rhaegar is, by inserting talks about him twice in one episode, for pretty long conversations. That is, of course, episode 4, in which Littlefinger tells Sansa the story of the tourney of Harrenhal as we all know it, quite objectively, and then asks, “How many men had to die because Rhaegar chose your aunt?” and Sansa replies, “Yes, he chose her, and then he kidnapped her and raped her.” The second time he is mentioned in that episode shows how much contrast there is between the two ways people see Rhaegar, when Barristan again paints him in a positive light by telling Dany that he liked to walk among the people, sing to them, give money to orphans and poor singers, and that he never liked killing, but loved singing. 

5. And of course, in season six, came the (bastardized) conversation between Ned and the three (now two) Kingsguard at the ToJ, most importantly Arthur. Ned reminds them of Rhaegar’s defeat and asks them why they weren’t there to protect him, and Arthur replies that Rhaegar wanted them at the ToJ. And at the end of the season, Bran presses play and we resume watching this scene, leading up to the big R+L=J reveal. 

6. In season seven, we are told that he (somehow????) convinced the High Septon at the time to annul his (four-year, consummated) marriage to Elia and married him to Lyanna (or to “someone else” as Gilly puts it, but we all know it’s Lyanna) in a secret ceremony in Dorne. 

So, what has the show missed?

1. In all of this, there isn’t a peep about the prophecy, when in the books we are told three times that Rhaegar cared about it and it motivated his actions a great deal: a. At the House of the Undying b. When we’re told that he found a scroll that changed his life and made him feel that he “must become a warrior” and c. When Maester Aemon discusses his communications with Rhaegar concerning the prophecy with Sam. So, as much as the show is concerned, Rhaegar never even heard the word prophecy, and would think The Prince that Was Promised was the name of a rock band if he heard of him. 

So, the part of Rhaegar’s character that escaped with Lyanna because they must have a child together who is ice + fire (and I plan on exploring why this had to be the case, why Lyanna specifically when he could have had a third child on any milkmaid or handmaiden on Dragonstone with no political consequences) basically doesn’t exist on the show. Show!Rhaegar was NOT motivated by the prophecy (and I know one could argue that he is but we just haven’t heard that yet, but I personally find it weird that we haven’t heard about this whatsoever in seven seasons, when we could have seen the scene at the HotU or at least been told by Aemon or even Barristan).

2. Rhaegar as a melancholic (potentially clinically depressed) person and an intellectual scholar is not mentioned. Again, in the books, those are important aspects of Rhaegar’s personality that also seemed to motivate his actions and affect his way of thinking. 

3. Rhaegar as a politician is not mentioned. We don’t hear anything about the rift between him and his father, his plans to establish a regency/overthrow Aerys, his possible involvement in organizing the tourney of Harrenhal, and the fact that he held his own court at Dragonstone and had his own backing. Show!Rhaegar doesn’t seem to have politics in mind much either.

So, what does the show tell us about Rhaegar?

That Rhaegar never once thought of himself as a prophetic figure/a father to one. That he was a man who liked the smallfolk and mingling with them. That Rhaegar was charismatic, well-loved, the last dragon, and seemed like a sympathetic figure to someone as smart as Maester Aemon. And finally, that he ran away with Lyanna Stark and annulled his marriage for her, and at this point, only one reason for that is left by process of elimination: Love. 

So, basically what the show did, is try to simplify Rhaegar into someone that the viewer doesn’t need to look too deeply into. He was a spirited singer who didn’t care about politics but loved the people (who here wants to bet that show!Rhaegar also called all the nobles fake, made fun of fat noblewomen and made a lot of dick jokes?) and he was married to Elia for political reasons/because he needed to marry someone, but along came Lyanna Stark, he fell in love, and set aside everything (including his own family) to marry her, not even caring about all the political repercussions because, hey, he’s spirited! And all the nobles are fake! Who cares about politics, kids? Of course he later paid with his life and the lives of his entire family, but who cares, still got laid.

It’s basically the same thing that the show did with Jaime. Take a complex character that has a core struggle and a life mission, simplify it into a one-dimensional character that doesn’t really require any effort to understand or depict. The writers of the show know that they don’t have nearly as much talent or IQ as it takes to depict either of them with their full complexity and depth in the books, so they simplified things up for themselves and for the members of the audience that don’t really want to look too deeply into things either. 

Now, if we look completely away from Rhaegar... why would the showmakers do this whole annulment nonsense, you say? Why did they waste screentime on it and energy writing it? Because Jon Snow is their favorite, and bastardy is such a bad thing (not just an invented and bigoted Westerosi social stigma) that, on his nameday, they decided to take it away and give him legal rights to a kingdom that he never wanted, fought for or thought of having. Even though bastardy wouldn’t have affected his ability to be a hero, and even though we already have a legal claimant with an army and three dragons, who’s struggled and fought plenty for that kingdom, there’s a small problem: She’s a woman, and she’s not everyone’s favorite like Jon Snow is. Must keep the ratings up, guys. 

Now, as to all the reasons why book!Rhaegar would never annul his marriage to Elia (even if it were possible, which it isn’t, because their marriage was beyond a shadow of doubt consensual and consummated, and Rhaegar needs to be a king to set her aside and take another wife, which he wasn’t yet. Source) (UPDATE: Linda Antonsson, a writer who has collabed with GRRM on A World of Ice and Fire and is very familiar with ASOIAF content, has said on twitter in criticism for the episode that the idea of an annulment is bizarre and that it would be very difficult for Rhaegar to obtain one and the fact that those “records” exist in the citadel is very odd. I also asked her if she knows for sure that an annulment would make Rhaenys and Aegon bastards, and she said there’s no definite answer but it’s likely that yes. Her twitter)

1. Let’s assume that Rhaegar absolutely held no value for Elia whatsoever and had no problem giving her the ultimate humiliation of annulment. Elia is a princess of Dorne, and Dorne has only ever joined the fold of Westeros by marriage. No Targaryen king was able to defeat Dorne and forcibly make it kneel to him. If Elia is returned to Dorne with such an insult as setting her aside, this threatens that Dorne might disassociate itself from the rest of Westeros again, taking away a huge asset from Rhaegar (the Dornish were his biggest allies against his father.)

2. For reasons mentioned here by Lyannas, it’s most likely that this annulment would result in Rhaenys and Aegon to become bastards. Not only would Rhaegar not do that to his children who are also important prophetic figures to him (two heads of the dragon) but also it threatens civil war in the future. If Dorne decides to not only remove itself from Rhaegar’s backing but also align themselves behind Aegon against Lyanna’s (”legitimate”) children in the case that Rhaegar does become the king and the line of succession continues normally, a civil war similar to the Blackfyre Rebellion could break and the future of House Targaryen will be majorly threatened. Who has time for that when you’re trying to stop a zombie apocalypse? 

Book!Rhaegar may have been a lot of things, but he wasn’t that big an idiot as to jeopardize his future on the throne and the future of his children like this. But of course, show!Rhaegar who was practically an idiot had no problem with all that.

I want to conclude by saying that we have been looking at show!Rhaegar the wrong way. We’ve all had book!Rhaegar in mind while thinking about show!Rhaegar, but the truth is, they’re two completely different people. And while book!Rhaegar is smart and sensible enough to know that he couldn’t and shouldn’t annul his marriage to Elia, show!Rhaegar, who is merely a wasteful bastardization of everything that Rhaegar is, totally would. He’s a miracle man who was able to obtain an annulment from a marriage as steady as rocks because he’s THE Rhaegar Targaryen. And while thousands of metas and rereadings have been done to understand the dilemma of book!Rhaegar, show!Rhaegar only needs you to clear your mind of book!Rhaegar, forget about any depth or intellect or savior complex, watch the show, and enjoy his jackassery. 

Oh, poor George...

[kandace-roo-blog]

Walt Task #4 || The Ins and Outs of Kandace Roo

Describe your character; How do you see your character in your own eyes and not based off the bio. How have you developed this character into your own?

Ohhhh, Kandace. This is my first time playing a teen/single mom, and so far it’s been such an interesting experience to play around with how that affects her characterization. She’s one of those people that deflects so much on other people in order to keep from addressing all of the issues that she hasn’t quite worked out herself yet thanks to all of her family drama and being abandoned by Joey’s dad. It’s just easier for her to focus on trying to fix or help other people and make them feel good because in some weird way, it makes her feel like she’s doing at least something right. Behind that outward appearance of caring, however, she’s drowning. She’s depressed and hard on herself and so, so incredibly broken over feeling like her life has just fallen apart, and she honestly breaks my heart sometimes because she just sees herself as damaged and broken beyond repair. There’s literally only two bright spots in her life, and that’s her friends from home and of course, her son. More on her friends later, but focusing on Joey... man, she loves that kid. It’s hard for her to imagine now that she was willing to go along with what her mother wanted and give the kid up, but as soon as she looked into his big, blue eyes, she just knew he was the most important thing she’d ever have in her life and she’d never abandon him like others had abandoned her. In a way, she wanted to be the mom that her own mother had never been for her, and being there for him is basically the only thing that gets her up in the morning and forces her through her day.

What’s your favorite thing about your character? what’s your least favorite?

Kandace just has this amazing empathy to her that I absolutely adore. She’s selfless in a way that’s not always healthy but warms my heart a little bit because she’s the type of person that is always looking to care for others. It’s what makes her such a good friend and such a good mom and even though she’s incredibly heartbroken and hurt, that trait still remains.

As for my least favorite, it’s definitely how hard she is on herself. I’m not talking about just a regular self-confidence issue - I’m talking about this constant narrative in her head of everything she’s failing at. Whether it’s that she’s a bad mother and isn’t doing enough for her son, that she’s unlovable and doesn’t deserve to be happy with someone else, or that she isn’t living up to what she could be, she’s constantly doubting and hating herself and it breaks my heart.

What are some of your favorite relationships your character has formed? (Friendships, relationships, yada ya)

Ok, so first of all, Eeyore??? They warm my heart so much because they were more like acquaintances made through mutual friends back home but now they’re the only two in LA and have started becoming actual friends and I’m emotional about it tbh because what the HELL. Kanga just wants to make her just a little bit happier because she can relate all to well to how she feels and I just think in general they relate so well to each other and I can’t wait to see that friendship progress, tbh.

Even though the rest of the Hundred Acre Woods gang isn’t here yet, I also need to give them a shout-out because all of those friendships make me emotional in general. Like lil Paxton was the one who made her decide that she could handle being a mom in the first place and Tiago is just that big ball of pure joy that she honestly needs in her life to force her to smile and loosen up for once of her life. AND CHRISTOPHER ROBIN DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW BADLY I WANT HIM IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. They’ve literally been friends through preschool and are still best friends to this day and are the most supportive little beans and he is one of the only people Kanga trusts with her whole life and LISTEN I WILL BRIBE SOMEONE TO BRING HIM TO ME BECAUSE I NEED IT OK

Kanga and Oliver kill me tbh because they relate so much in terms of parenthood and it’s so rare to find someone as a seventeen-eighteen year old mom who you can talk to about the pitfalls of being a parent and I just love them??? I can’t wait for them to have play dates and blab about all the problems they’re having in raising children!

This is probably less important because he’s a NPC but Danny (aka Joey’s dad) and Kanga make me sad af and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately?? Like Kandace was looking to be a lil rebellious and ended up with this bad boy who had a reputation as a heartbreaker and honestly fell in love with him?? Yes, it was probably an unhealthy relationship by many standards and he kind of pushed her to do things that she typically wouldn’t do for multiple reasons but at the end of the day she just adored him and he might have loved her too and then Joey happened and she honestly thought that he’d be willing to settle down and raise a family with her and it just ??? didn’t happen ??? And he told her he didn’t love her and made her feel basically completely used and damaged and terrified of love and DAMN IT SOMEONE TEACH THIS GIRL THAT LOVE DOESN’T ALWAYS MEAN HEARTBREAK WTF

AS FOR NEXT GEN Joey is so #blessed to have so many sweethearts in his life tbh. Like the Addison kids???? They’re practically like his siblings at this point and you best believe he’ll 100% always be there for each and every one of them. Also Noelle??? I’m still loling over the concept that they went on a tinder date and just ended up becoming pals instead because it’s such a Roo thing to do tbh and their friendship jut makes me so happy ok? ok.

Has your character changed you in any way? Or do you yourself in yourself in your character?

I would also say that Kandace has been a good outlet for me because I also deal with a lot of self doubt and a healthy dose of clinical depression to boot. I try not to dwell too much on it because it can bring my mood down a bit too, but it’s also been super nice to verbalize feelings and thoughts through her eyes and has been kind of cathartic for me and has definitely helped me work through some heavy stuff in my life. I love my lil fragile baby too much.

Do you think your character has had a big impact on Walt? Is it a good impact or bad?

I don’t think she’s had a big impact, but hopefully a good one! I really want to expand on her some more and get some more plots going for her tbh because I’ve had so much muse for her as of late and really want to see that impact!

Favorite thing your character has done and worst

Favorite thing? Tbh, it’s definitely her decision to keep Joey. Writing that scene for my app honestly put me through tears because she was so determined not to keep him and not to get attached and she just looked at him and knew. And from there, she was determined to do the exact opposite and not let him go even if that meant losing the rest of her family and having to do it all on her own.

I can’t think of anything really awful she’s done so far, but I do think that the fact that she’s isolated herself so much in general is not a good move. She honestly feels like people are going to get annoyed with the fact that she’s constantly dealing with her kid and just doesn’t want to face it, and I really wish she’d push out of her shell a little bit and put herself out there again because she has so much to offer.

What is some progress you hope to have with your character in the future?

Obviously I want to see her grow emotionally. I want her to face her depression head-on and take steps to treat it, especially by going through some therapy. Girl needs to VENT. I obviously want to see Joey grow up and play out those struggles as a mother and how she handles them. Finally, I’d honestly really like to see her heal all those scars on her heart from what happened and feel less unlovable? Because she’s really honestly worthy of being loved and once she realizes that, she has the potential of maybe actually being happy and doing something for herself instead of for others.

What is one thing you would tell your character?

YOU’RE DOING GREAT, SWEETIE, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.

What has been YOUR favorite thing about walt?

Has your experience been a positive one? (BE HONEST YO.)

Got a favorite memory? Share it!

What are you looking forward too in the future?

Have you had a favorite event? Favorite plot? Share it right here

(skipping these bc i’ve already answered them on Rora’s!)

Favorite character that’s not your own and why

Ok so here I’d like to give a shoutout to both @justeeyore and @whydidyoutakemeaway because they are??? the sweetest???? Alicia, you know I absolutely love all of your characters and Eeyore is no exception. I think you play that morose nature so well without crossing that fine line between being actually upset and being whiny and Eeyore honestly breaks my heart all the freaking time and ??? i love her so much ok

and KAITLYN again, u know i love you and all your characters but I felt it was fitting to give some kudos to Oliver considering his friendship with Kandace. You play Oliver so beautifully both in his relationship with Wally and his characterization in general. You always have so many interesting ideas and twists and turns for him in mind and whether he’s freaking out or being goofy or everything in between, he’s always such a fun character to see on the dash and I love him so, so much.

Ideas, shoutouts, request, dedications, questions? Put ‘em here!

I love all of you!!! ( and I’m too lazy to type it all out again but u know how it is guys ok)

[turnertimeline]

Meet the Characters

Content warnings: brief discussion/mention of domestic abuse, child abuse, sexual abuse, miscarriage and suicide 

Canon

Patrick Turner

Doctor Patrick Turner is the Doctor for Poplar and the surrounding area. He attends to the midwives and nurses if they need his help in the course of their work, works at clinic, and at the surgery and the maternity home. He is married to Shelagh and is Tim’s Dad, and will become especially close to Janie over time, particularly as they bond of their respective trauma. 

Our Patrick is kind, compassionate, gentle, and kind of a dork. 

Shelagh Turner

Shelagh is Patrick’s wife, an ex-nun, a nurse and a midwife - the best one in Poplar, maybe the East End, according to her husband. She loves all of her children, and has an open heart and more than enough love to go around to anyone who needs it. 

Our Shelagh is loving, passionate, taught Tim how to throw a punch without breaking his own knuckles and will stand up to the bullies whatever size they are. 

Timothy Turner

Patrick and Shelagh’s eldest son, Tim is studious, independent and very like his Father. 

Our Tim is studying towards his medical degree to follow in his Father’s footsteps when he meets Annie in his first semester. Tim clashes with his misogynistic peers and tutors, but excels academically. He is loyal, sarcastic, affectionate and gentle, and loves his little siblings very much. 

Angela Turner

Patrick and Shelagh’s second child and only daughter. 

Our Angela, nicknamed Angie by her family and friends, is headstrong and has a very firm idea of right and wrong. She adores her siblings and her nephew and niece and has also inherited the Turner family’s affection and compassion. Angie is quite serious and likes to observe and listen to what the people around her are doing, and won’t hesitate to make her opinions known. She also takes after Tim and her father and finds that knowing how things work is reassuring, from thunderstorms to how babies grow. 

Edward “Teddy” Turner

Patrick and Shelagh’s youngest child and second son. 

Our Teddy is three when Tim goes off to university. He is less head strong than his sister, although confident in himself and easy going. Where Angela takes after Shelagh’s determination, Teddy takes after his Dad and is very gentle and kind, to the point he gets teased sometimes by his peers. Nevertheless he is happy and likes to cook with his Mummy and help Annie take care of her baby. 

Non-Canon

Annette “Annie” Thompson Turner

Annette is Tim’s university friend, and becomes pregnant by her abusive boyfriend before he rejects her for refusing to terminate the pregnancy. She is also kicked out by her parents. 

Annie is taken in by the Turner family and adopted into their family and into the wider Nonnatus family, too. It takes a while, but Tim and Annette get married when Daniel is a couple of years old, and they have a daughter, Elizabeth, a few years later. 

Daniel Timothy Turner

Annette’s son, Danny is a sweet-natured and affectionate little boy, whose slight temper only comes out when he feels like something isn’t fair. Danny’s grows up to be just like Tim, whose been his Dad since before he was born, although prefers to read to his little sister and help his Mummy take care of her. 

He is thoughtful and sometimes a little sad, and as he gets older worries that he could turn out like his biological father. 

Elizabeth Bernadette Turner

Annie and Tim’s second child, Lizzie is born five years after Daniel. Lizzie is particularly close to her cousin Cam, and enjoys playing with Teddy and her big brother Danny, and idolises Angie. It’s Elizabeth that inherits most of Tim’s more academic interests. 

Jane “Janie” Thompson Turner

Janie is Annie’s youngest sister. Janie is independent, lively, and very artistic. However she is also deeply scarred by what she experiences in the Thompson household after Annette is disowned and can be distrustful and struggles with anxiety and depression. She is formally adopted by Shelagh and Patrick after Shelagh sees her father hit her, and she forms a very close bond with Patrick, although it takes a long time for her to trust him. She found a particular refuge in art and in journaling, which she continues, often using them to express herself to those around her and producing artwork as gifts. 

Linda

Linda is Janie’s eventual wife. Although less demonstrative than the Turners, she and Janie have a fulfilling and happy life together. 

Jessica

Linda’s daughter. She’s reserved at first and hesitant around new people, but quickly warms up to Janie and to the Turner family. 

Melissa

Janie’s first girlfriend. Although the relationship doesn’t last, they remain on good terms, and Melissa becomes a life long friend and has a standing invitation to Turner family dinner. 

Margaret Thompson 

The middle sister, Margaret’s response to their father’s increased violence after Annie’s pregnancy is to try and become the ‘perfect daughter’. She sees her sisters a few times a year for the sake of their children, but the sisters never formally reconcile, and she continues to parrot many of the things her father told her about Annie and the Turner family. 

Richard “Dick”

Margaret’s husband. His nickname isn’t actually Dick, Shelagh simply refuses to refer to him in any other way and it stuck.

Camilla “Cam”

Richard and Margaret’s daughter. Although Richard isn’t violent with her the same way George was with Janie, she grows up isolated and largely alone. She has greater contact with the Turner’s via her grandmother Ruth, who reconciles with Annie after George’s death, and spends a great deal of time with them once she starts at the same grammar school as Elizabeth. The Turner family take her in once she’s eighteen and she begins to date girls.

Richard Junior “Little Dick”

Richard and Margaret’s second child, and very much a chip off the old block, and bullies Cam mercilessly throughout her childhood and into her adolescence. He is not allowed to spend as much time with the Turners as his sisters, as Richard believes Tim and Patrick to be ‘unmanly’. 

Ruth Thompson

Annie, Margaret and Janie’s mother. Ruth reaches out to her daughters once George dies and she realises how utterly alone she is, and also once she no longer had to fear him. Annie and Ruth achieve a sort of reconciliation, and she enjoys a good relationship with the grandchildren. Janie cannot forgive her for allowing George to treat her the way he did, although they reach a cordial agreement and Ruth comes to Turner family dinners at Annie and Tim’s house.

George Thomson

Annie, Margaret and Janie’s father. George is a violent, abusive, and cruel bully. He is violent towards his wife and his daughters and disowns both Janie and Annie. He dies a few years later, at which point Ruth attempts to reconnect with her daughters. 

Kenneth

Annie’s abusive boyfriend, and Danny’s biological father. The most important thing to know about Kenneth is Tim punches him twice. 

[tiredandwily]

Book review: Carry the Ocean by Heidi Cullinan 

Contemporary Fiction, LGBT Fiction, Young Adult Fiction, New Adult Fiction

https://www.amazon.com/Carry-Ocean-Roosevelt-Heidi-Cullinan/dp/1945116986/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1496721454&sr=8-1&keywords=carry+the+ocean

--- My rating --- 

4 / 5 stars

--- Synopsis --- 

“High school graduate Jeremey Samson is looking forward to burying his head under the covers and sleeping until it's time to leave for college. Then a tornado named Emmet Washington enters his life. The young man with a double major in math and computer science is handsome, forward, wicked smart, interested in dating Jeremey--and he has autism.But Jeremey doesn't judge him for that. He's too busy judging himself, as are his parents, who don't believe in things like clinical depression. When Jeremey's untreated illness reaches a critical breaking point, Emmet is the white knight who rescues him and brings him along as a roommate to The Roosevelt, a quirky new assisted living facility.As Jeremey and Emmet find their feet at The Roosevelt, they begin to believe they can be loved for the men they are beyond their disabilities. But before they can trust enough to fall head over heels, they must trust their own convictions that friendship is a healing force and love can overcome any obstacle.”

Book one of the Roosevelt series

--- Review --- 

I gave Carry the Ocean 4 stars because I really enjoyed it (I debated maybe 4.5 stars). I would recommend it to anyone interested in a character-driven, contemporary, and emotional narrative. I would also recommend it to anyone interested in LGBT fiction or slash fiction. It’s suited for age 17+.

Carry the Ocean is told in first person from two viewpoints, Jeremey and Emmet, in alternating chapters. Both protagonists are teenage boys, and each voice is beautiful with so much depth. Emmet has Autism Spectrum Disorder, and his chapters were my favorite, I loved to read about what life is like with ASD. The character has such a unique and fascinating perspective of life and of himself. His mechanisms for coping with ASD seemed to be described well. His chapters were uplifting and beautifully honest, and his relationship with his parents was lovely to read.

Jeremey has Major Depressive Disorder and Clinical Anxiety. His chapters were darker but equally honest and fascinating. It was sometimes difficult to read about such crippling anxiety, but the interaction between him and Emmet always saved the day. They meet within the first few pages, and the relationship they develop is very real, and based on respect and honesty. The two characters understand one another, work together, never judge each other, and lift each other up. Throughout the book, the boys learn about each other and what the other needs.

The insightful inner voice of the boys was the best part of the book. Each is different in tone, but both are very honest without being over-dramatic. The book is easy to read, and the major themes are presented well, themes of friendship, love, and acceptance. This book is for anyone who has ever felt like an outcast, or anyone struggling with mental illness. The major message, that there is no normal, that normal is an illusion, is presented very well. Simply, this book is about two boys trying to deal with society’s expectations and parental expectations, and learning that it’s okay to be different. It’s also refreshing to read a novel with an LGBT relationship where the relationship is not the conflict.

I hesitate to call the book Young Adult because of the graphic sex, but of course sex is part of teenage life, and it’s presented very maturely. Perhaps New Adult is a better genre to place this book in. The sex scenes are told during Emmet chapters, which is a unique perspective and made the scenes intriguing and quite original. I love how the boys talk about sex as well, very frank, and always open with their needs.

My minor complaints are that the alternating perspective can be hard to keep track of. I tended to begin a chapter without remembering the perspective had shifted (even though each chapter is labeled). Also, the character of Jeremey’s mother is very overdone. She’s incredibly ableist, and seems to have very little compassion for her own son. Another minor complaint I had is I tend to enjoy somewhat poetic prose, a little more flowery, but the writing was very matter-of-fact. [cont’d]

---- Plot-review ---- [SPOILERS]

The book begins with Emmet describing what it’s like to be Emmet, what it’s like to have Autism Spectrum Disorder. Emmet is high-functioning and whip-smart, and the first chapter of the book is a bit of an info-dump about the ways he is “normal” and the ways he is special. He decides he wants to ask out his neighbor, Jeremey, but he has to to research first about how to ask someone out and how to behave so Jeremey won’t be confused or turned off by Emmet’s lack of standard social decorum.  

“... to learn and memorize the etiquette, to find the right words that would show me to Jeremey, not my autism. It took a long time and a lot of work, but I did it.”

As a reader I connected immediately with Emmet’s voice. I’d say it’s one of the most well developed perspectives/voices I’ve read in fiction in years. It’s an amazing insight into life with ASD.

Chapter two is from Jeremy’s perspective, it picks up where chapter one leaves off. The reader learns about Jeremey’s anxiety and depression. At first, he is confused by Emmet and has a panic attack, but Emmet is exactly what Jeremy needs in the moment and he helps calm Jeremey’s nerves. 

“For the first time since my meltdown, I wasn’t thinking about how to make the world stop, how to escape the failure that was my life. I thought about Emmet Washington...”

Throughout the next few chapters, Emmet and Jeremey get to know one another. They hit it off immediately. There’s no drama with how they feel about one another, which is frankly refreshing. Jeremey learns about Emmet’s ASD, and Emmet is happy to learn about what its like to live with Major Depressive Disorder and Clinical Anxiety. Their first kiss comes soon after, but Jeremey’s mother walks in on them and is not happy with what she sees.

This is where the conflict is introduced. Jeremey’s mother is, well, a bitch. She’s homophobic and ableist, and neither does she understand or seem to care about her son’s panic attacks and depression. In my humble opinion, this character is way overdone. She yells at her son in Target for having a panic attack, calls Emmet the R-word, and cares only about her son being “normal”.

After this, Jeremey and Emmet are not allowed to see one another, though they communicate through text message. With the oppression of his mother and without Emmet to comfort him, Jeremey attempts suicide. 

Emmet and his mother, a doctor, call 911 and Jeremey’s life is saved. He has to spend a few weeks on the psychiatric floor of a hospital, and he sees a therapist, Dr. North, a therapist who has been also seeing Emmet. 

“I visited him on the third day, when Dr. North said Jeremey could have visitors again. He said Jeremey had been good and worked hard on his therapy and deserved a reward, and I was the reward he wanted. That made me happy. I’ve never been a reward before.”

Through therapy sessions, Jeremey’s character is really fleshed out and the reader learns about his relationship with his parents. At this point as a reader I felt very invested in Jeremey’s wellbeing, and Dr. North was a godsend and a breath of fresh air for both Jeremey and Emmet. 

“The most difficult part about being in the hospital wasn’t the meds, or the loss of freedom, or the scariness of what would happen when I got out. It was my mom.”

The boys decide to live in an assisted living facility together when Jeremey leaves the hospital, and after convincing their parents they can care for themselves, Dr. North tells them he thinks it could be a great idea, that it would be best for Jeremey not to go back home with his parents.

“Also, if we lived in the same apartment, we could have sex. The drugs dulled the yearning a little bit, but only when Emmet wasn’t in the room. When he was with me, like right now, talking and planning and being so bright, all I wanted to do was kiss him and touch him.”

Jeremey is first moved to a group home. These chapters give another great dose of insight about how mentally ill people are treated in society and what group homes can be like and why.

Finally, the boys move into the assisted living facility, The Roosevelt. It takes time for them to adjust to living together and for Jeremey to get used to Emmet’s rules. Meanwhile, Jeremey’s social anxiety means he cannot go shopping or be in loud, unpredictable environments. The social workers who live at The Roosevelt help them with the adjustment. 

“In our apartment, Jeremey and I had a good pattern. The notes helped us with organization, and our Saturday morning meetings with Sally and Tammy helped us learn how to make sure we didn’t have any problems we needed to work out.”

Jeremey struggles to find a job. He decides he’d like to work for one of the residents at The Roosevelt, one who Emmet hates, and this causes a temporary rift. Emmet learns to better communicate with Jeremey about what is bothering him and why, and Jeremey slowly learns to overcome his anxiety and how to get out from under the shadow of his parents. 

Without giving away the ending, the book has a quiet ending, but the story is wrapped up beautifully, and though it gets heavy at times, the book is overall uplifting, well-written, eye-opening, and reminds the reader that the differences between us are not really so big after all.

My favorite part of Carry the Ocean is the voice. The Emmet chapters are quite different from the Jeremey chapters in voice and tone. Emmet is matter-of-fact, honest, and has trouble reading emotions. Jeremey is quiet, anxious, and he is very easily bothered by the emotions of everyone around, which is why he has trouble in public places. It’s alluded to, and once stated outright, that Jeremey is the less “together” one, while Emmet is his white-knight who does not judge him and is able to be exactly what Jeremey needs. They’re a great pairing, I love a book where the relationship starts early on, and individually they’re amazing characters that I will remember for years. 

---- Warnings---- [SPOILERS]

Graphic sex

Non-graphic suicide attempt

(feel free to message me if you’d like to know more detail about the warnings before reading the book)

[holbyconfessional]

Holby City S19 E54-E60

As with the Casualty catch up - since this is SO historical now, I’m going to put the whole lot under a cut, save dashboards!!! Episodes covered are:

S19 E54 - Thicker Than Water

S19 E55 - Things Left Unsaid

S19 E56 - Know Yourself, Know Your Enemy  

S19 E57 - Kingdom Come

S19 E58 - It Has To Be Now

S19 E59 - Hungry Heart 

S19 E60 - Hiding Places

Holby City S19 E54 - Thicker Than Water

So we have more Guiseppe this week.  Yay.  Not.  A Small bowel volvulus couldn't happen to a nicer guy.  Sorry, Raf.

More nefarious Fredrick, shipping in a Swedish patient, then pretending he didn't know her so he could fake diagnose her Pancreatic Pseudocyst and wow everyone with his swift and decisive diagnosis skills.  Not to mention try and make another play to push a clinical trial for his drug.  So glad that Hanssen twigged and called him out on it.  Odious individual.

Ollie and Matteo's competition to be the most interesting was dull, although it did afford Jac a wonderful opportunity to show off her feistiness with her epic line (about Ollie's dullness) 'I'm as shocked as you are!'

In other and most heartbreaking news, Lofty transferred to AAU, and worst of all, Raf proposed to Essie.  I mentally threw things at my TV.

Holby City S19 E55 - Things Left Unsaid

Well, Morven was rather uncharacteristically unkind to Lofty, wasn't she?!  I mean, he may be one of the dullest humans in existence, and aggravatingly cheerful and fair, but still!  Of course, he was going to make a brilliant diagnosis with the hypochondriac patient, thereby showing Morven his worth.  Actually, I'm pretty glad it was something minor, and Morven still got to 'win' too, about the woman being a bit of a time waster.  It may not have avoided the cliche, but it did slightly mitigate it!

Evil Fredrick strikes again with his tenuous grasp on truthfulness and medical ethics, by covering up a psychological issue with a father/son transplant.  HOW is Nina the Snake letting these things happen, how is he getting away with it, with the barest of slapped wrists?  Better not be because of his father, because I'm pretty sure said father wouldn't be putting up with such shenanigans!

So, Nina the Snake is pregnant, and trying to talk to a seemingly uninterested Matteo.  I was pretty uninterested too.

And finally, it's Roxanna's first day.  Somewhat less angst between her and Ollie than expected.  There has been some speculation that she's an early insert, with an ultimate potential goal of being a love interest for Serena somewhen upon her return.  I'm saying now, please god don't let this be true. It's almost impossible now, watching some of the insane pairings they've got going on, or building up.  But that?  I just couldn't.

Holby City S19 E56 - Know Yourself, Know Your Enemy

AKA the day of Ric's inquest at the Coroners Court, into the death of Elaine Warren - where, surprise surprise, it's found that there's a case to answer.  As with any long running show, some story lines are more gripping than others.  I have to say, for the most part, I'm finding this more of a slog than a thrill, but I will say that I really would like to know what happened with the anti-coagulants!  Was it Ric's error?  Did Donna screw up?  Dear lord, I hope it's the latter.  Really not a Donna fan.

So, Amira's back on Darwin.  Why?  Is she considered an interesting character?  I suspect it's more in an attempt to expose some hole in Jac's psyche, since we're clearly being shown that she's struggling with something - hopefully setting us up for a lovely, meaty storyline, and not just the impending romance with Fletch (vomit).

Dom and Fredrick.  I find it interesting and mildly alarming how jealous Fredrick is of Dom.  Of course, he wants to be the most important in his fathers eyes, and he's already been shown to be extremely ruthless and manipulative in order to try and get his own way and climb to the top.   So it's ironic that his behaviour traits and attempts at professional shortcuts should be exactly what set him back in his incredibly rational and fair father's eyes, against Dom's honesty and genuine attempts to be the best he can be, and the best for his patients.  I enjoyed his detective work this episode, diagnosing the Wegener's Granulomatosis (GPA), and I liked his decision to pull it as the case study for his Junior Doctors Award project, in favour of something far more prosaic.   To my mind, it's a nice demonstration of exactly how much Dom has grown as a person and a doctor, and was the perfect offset for Fredrick's showboating.

Holby City S19 E57 - Kingdom Come

Highly stressful, edge of your seat stuff tonight.  Will Holby be closed, in favour of St Francis?  Will all our beloved characters lose their jobs? Maybe not quite as stressful as the producers would like, as I think we can all pretty much assume that somehow, Holby will endure.  But, the episode did afford some good moments for Hanssen - most noteably 1) the opening scene on the roof, 2) a great camera shot of Hanssen standing on Keller as the camera panned along the ward toward him, and 3) Hanssen sitting in his office, with his glasses off.  (I'm not sure why the last one pleases me so, but it does, so there you go!).

I'm always very pro Hanssen heavy storylines, I think he's an exceptional character.  With this one, I was also pretty delighted that in some part, it was the underrated Sacha who saved the day, with his innovative idea of implementing SAINT (post-surgical accelerated independence using novel technology).  Loved the final scene with Hanssen acknowledging Sacha's importance to him and the hospital, over a drink.

Jeremy Warren is back, wanting his mothers notes from Donna.  HOW is Donna so stupid as to keep entertaining him?  Surely she realises at this stage that she's putting herself, the hospital, the case itself in danger by continuing to keep in contact with him?!

Also the return of one of my favourite patients, Mr James.  He has the best lines, and excellent delivery.  His speech about Matteo's hair was just classic, I bet he's a dream to write for.

Other moments included Ollie's wedding ring, lots of posturing by evil Fredrick, but special acting credit MUST go to Matteo's red trainers, which stole every scene they were in!

Holby City S19 E58 - It Has To Be Now

Oh, what fun.  We were forced to rewatch Raf's proposal to Essie in the pre credits. Ouch. Followed by a post credit dramatic running scene which is supposed to remain us we love Ollie (although I'm sorry to say, black hoodie aside, he definitely lost cool points IMO).  Which was then supposed to help us remember that we hate Roxanna, because not only did she kill Ollie's wife, but she's also trying to steal his project funding.  Oh, but whoops.  Her project is on Alzheimers, and hey, her super talented surgeon husband has Alzheimers, so all of a sudden, she's not The Bad Guy, and we (and Ollie) want her to get the funding, because she and her husband deserve it...

And here's where I stop being sarcastic and flippant, because as hackneyed as the storyline is, I don't consider dementia of any form to be a laughing matter, having personally seen what it can do to a loved one.   And I can begin in the smallest way to imagine the pain of what she and her husband must be feeling.  But, it doesn't change the fact that for me, this entire story was so heavily signposted that it kind of lost impact.

Oh, holy shitbags.  Not only did Raf and Essie get engaged, but now they blinking well got married.  On the one hand, I thank goodness that it was off screen and I didn't have to watch it, but on the other, EW!   Couldn't they have had their 2 episodes of happiness, then suffered a monumental breakup, or the death of a close family member which would leave one of them angry, depressed, drinking too much and lashing out at colleagues, before buggering off to a vineyard in France, whilst the other went to do humanitarian work with the army?  Oh, whoops, wrong pairing...  But poor, poor Sacha.

Ooh, Morven and her mother.  Not a shining example of maternal glory to my mind.  Personally, I'm thinking Morven is SO much better off without her.

Holby City S19 E59 - Hungry Heart

Ooh, lashings of evil Fredrick.  Undermining Dom to Henrik, Sacha to the pathologically honest patient's girlfriend, then finally 'accidentally' telling Matteo about Nina the Snake's pregnancy.  Such an unbelievably unlikeable character.  There was a little celebration in my soul when Henrik told him that there was a recruitment freeze, which would prevent him from applying for a registrar's post.  Karma?!  So, Hanssen thinks Fredrick should go back to Sweden (well, don't we all?  Except perhaps his poor wife, who I, for one, seem to have horridly misunderstood!)

So, we got one teeny tiny scene where Lofty visited Dom, and gave him a super squishy hug of congratulations.  Gotta keep the memory of that not-quite relationship lurking somewhere in the viewers mind, so it's ripe for revisiting.  Right?

Lots of Ric drama.  I have to say, I loved Morven's supportiveness, inviting him for coffee.  Such a nice change from Donna's hounding.  Ric may have been a mentor and friend to her, but last I checked, that doesn't automatically mean she has the right to invade every corner of his life, and to know every move he makes.  I felt really angry when she was hounding him about where he was when Jeremy's mother died.  She wants to know why he won't tell her?  Well, perhaps it's because it's none of her ****ing business!!!

COTWs, WAG with appendicitis, and the slightly more interesting kid with a funky neck, who passed out every time he looked to the side too quickly.

Holby City S19 E60 - Hiding Places

I'm afraid I found this episode rather dull.  More of the Ric/Donna/Jeremy debacle, and I find myself no clearer as to why Donna persists in hanging around with Jeremy in the face of his allegations.  Ric is supposedly her friend.  I get that she doesn't know what actually happened, so she doesn't know for sure that he is completely innocent, and I get that she feels some level of empathy toward Jeremy for his loss - BUT, Ric is supposed to be her friend, and she truly believes he is an excellent doctor and surgeon, and she also believes in human error, so why is she not supporting Ric more?  (I'd just like to qualify at this point that I don't mean by lying for him).  And even more to the point, surely her continuing interaction with Jeremy is actually detrimental to the court case?  At least Jac stood up for Ric, even if it was in an inappropriate way.  And ooh, look, seems like Jeremy is going to try and squeeze a second court case out of it!  

On the one hand, I believe in justice.  But on the other, I think this litiginous society in which we live is insane.

So, Fredrick is indeed gone.  But is it for good?  (Please be yes, please be yes....)

Nina and Matteo and the baby.  I shall sum up my thoughts into a single word.  YAWN.

So, this episode had a patient naming dogs after staff based on their personality traits.  Oh, how I chortled and slapped my thigh.

Mildly interesting thread - the unravelling of Jac.  Awesome, awesome character.

[ixvyupdates]

‘The Make-or-Break Year’ Offers Ed Reformers Sobering Lessons on How Real School Change Happens

“If we have to remove dead weight, we will remove dead weight.” That’s what the assistant principal of Chicago’s Orr High School told me in 1998, when I asked him how he dealt with no-show students. What he meant was, they’d be dropped from the school rolls and handed a list of alternative schools to call.

As both an education reporter and a former alternative school teacher, I found it shocking to hear an administrator so blatantly dismiss any young person. Yet at the same time, I well knew how few adults in city high schools really knew—and sometimes, how few really cared to know—the specific challenges of individual students’ lives and how to help them stay in school.

Today, the focus inside Chicago’s high schools has shifted from removing “dead weight” to ensuring young teens finish their first year of high school on track to graduate. Decades of studies from the University of Chicago Consortium on School Research show that supporting students through a strong freshman year is the single most important thing educators can do to steer them toward graduating, regardless of  their race, income or even previous academic performance.

Recent increases in Chicago’s graduation rates bear this out. Last June, more than three-quarters of the city’s class of 2018 earned their diplomas. That’s a far cry from the 50/50 chance of finishing high school that was business as usual for decades.

In “The Make-Or-Break Year,” Emily Krone Phillips tells us how the Chicago Public Schools made this dramatic shift. By showing how principals, teachers and (some) district leaders transformed what goes on in Chicago high schools from dropping dead weight to building kids’ academic and interpersonal skills, Krone Phillips argues powerfully against education reform as we’ve all grown to hate it. She shows the futility of top-down mandates and the “politics of distraction,” which encompasses most reforms that don’t fundamentally change how adults work together within schools to support students.

Even more interesting, she argues just as powerfully against the opposing notion that poverty is the real problem and schools can’t make a difference simply by improving what they do.

While resources matter, especially for schools facing the toughest challenges, the stories here show that when educators make a commitment to change their limiting beliefs about students and open themselves to new approaches, they can get better results with what—and whom—they already have. “The Make-Or-Break Year” offers a look inside a groundbreaking, third-way approach to stubborn problems of school improvement and equity.

Find a Problem, Let People Solve It. Sounds Easy, But in Reality It’s Hard.

At first glance, the work Chicago did to keep freshmen on track seems simple. The UChicago Consortium on School Research identified a clear problem, with high payoffs for students when solved. District leaders unlocked and strengthened the capacity of principals and teachers to develop new ways of reaching freshmen, then tested and evaluated them based on whether kids came to class and earned credits.

The district and its research partner created a network of schools where adults trusted each other enough to get real and share their problems and solutions, then shared those solutions with other interested schools. In actual practice, herding the cats at both the system level and within high schools to focus on keeping their freshmen “on track” to graduate—meaning present in school and passing their core subject courses—demanded a great deal of thought and effort. How it really happened offers complex lessons about making deep and lasting change in schools and districts.

Krone Phillips weaves three narrative strands that together chronicle the story of this particular sea change: the big-picture context of Chicago education politics and the struggle to get and keep a perpetually distracted system focused on one high-payoff problem; the history of Hancock High School’s pioneering success with the Freshman OnTrack indicator; and the daily ups-and-downs of supporting freshmen at Tilden High, arguably Chicago’s most deeply challenged neighborhood high school.

Moving Beyond Top-Down Reform Takes Letting Go of the Answers

The roots of the Freshman OnTrack strategy stretch back to the late 1990s, when former Chicago schools chief (and current mayoral candidate) Paul Vallas launched an ambitious, comprehensive set of high school reforms and watched most of them tank. [Disclaimer: a story I wrote about one aspect of this effort is quoted extensively early in the book.] Krone Phillips argues that while Vallas made the classic mistake of pushing top-down reform without buy-in from the people who would make it happen, his insistence on holding schools accountable for their students’ outcomes laid important groundwork for keeping freshmen on track.

His successor, Arne Duncan, made a smart next move: Giving high schools a simple metric to monitor—the numbers of freshmen who ended their first year of high school on track to graduate based on their attendance and course credits. What Duncan did not give the high schools was a formula for how to get those numbers up.

Instead, the people inside the schools had to figure it out, with some help from central office to increase their access to useful data. A handful of pioneering schools led the way in developing new supports for entering high schoolers. While some gaming numbers has occurred, what’s amazing here is the commitment educators made to self-reflection and changing the way they do business with each other and with students.

After Duncan’s departure to serve as U.S. Secretary of Education, it was up to the principals, teachers, researchers and district mid-level leaders already committed to the work to keep the flame alive despite leadership churn and scandal. The Network for College Success, a partnership between UChicago Consortium researchers, the district and a coalition of the most-willing high schools became the center of the work. Not coincidentally, a number of former network principals have become key district leaders, including current CEO Janice Jackson.

Changing a School Where Adults Don’t Believe in Kids is Like Therapy

To see the work from a school-level lens, Krone Phillips recounts Hancock High’s remarkable turnaround using Freshman OnTrack. At first, the Hancock story reads a bit like a traditional ed-reform narrative—idealistic principal Pam Glynn pushes her team of skeptical, mostly-White teachers to believe in their working-class Mexican-American students and raise their expectations for them. (Glynn also pushes out the most change-resistant staff and hires top teachers away from other schools. More of the new hires share their students’ ethnic background.)

One element that sets the Hancock story apart is Glynn’s insistence on putting student survey data in front of teachers to challenge their perceptions. When Glynn showed the faculty the numbers of students telling them they didn’t find courses challenging enough, some teachers began to take a look in the mirror.

That’s when the Hancock story becomes truly interesting. Changing a school where adults don’t believe in kids is like working with a clinically depressed person—they have to make changes on the inside before changes in outcomes can take place.

In Hancock’s case, Glynn pounded hard on teachers to change their belief systems and face the reality that students were both under-challenged and under-supported. Her successor, Karen Boran, continued the work and, with help from the Network for College Success, built teams and systems to sustain it no matter who led the school. By 2016, Hancock had yet another new principal, yet the school had maintained more than 90 percent of freshmen on track to graduate for three years running.

Ultimately, Hancock’s success in getting and keeping its freshmen on track did not rely on fixing (or firing) individual teachers in isolation, but on building a shared culture of improvement and common knowledge among staff about how to support students. Hancock also made the shift from looking at data as a nightstick with which to blame and punish people to viewing it as a dipstick to diagnose problems and look for solutions.

The Hancock story also shows that once one problem is resolved, similar collaboration and problem solving among adults can be put to work on new problems, like ensuring students are prepared to persist and succeed in college.

Nurturing Kids Demands A Push for Equity

The Tilden chapters are far and away the most compelling parts of the book, where we get close to a handful of young teens and the adults who support them. While, as always, it’s the kids who drive the story, the adult character who stands out is Tilden’s principal, Maurice Swinney, who strives to keep his freshmen on track while facing massive budget cuts and coping with the death of his own father.

“All the things that my Tilden kids do now, I’ve done,” he says, including using the b-word on his ninth-grade math teacher. His empathy for his students, plus their dwindling numbers, creates an opportunity to build deeply nurturing relationships.

But Swinney’s approach to keeping kids on track demands a lot from adults. Some of the tactics are highly controversial, including retroactive grade changes for a student who drastically improved his grades in second semester. The dean of discipline and the external partner who runs Tilden’s Peace Room expend precious time and energy debating what constitutes “coddling” an angry teen versus teaching him to manage his emotions on his own. Eventually, after much angst, the school’s freshman-on-track coordinator, English teacher Sharon Holmes, decides the work is taking too much out of her, and leaves.

Since the publication of this book, Swinney has been promoted to head the district’s new equity office. A crucial part of his mission will be working on policies and resources to support schools like Tilden, where a massive infusion of federal grant money helped boost the school’s freshmen on-track rate to a high of 84 percent, only to see it drop 20 percentage points once the grant ended.

Only time will tell if Swinney and other district leaders can find a way to avoid the pitfalls of top-down policy solutions, even when they come with dollars, and make smart, strategic and sustainable investments that promote equity and solve the next round of challenges Chicago faces in helping its students succeed in school and in life.

Lasting Solutions Come from People Closest to the Problem

Much of Krone Phillips’ Chicago narrative parallels the national arc of school reform. Early, stringent emphasis on accountability pried open classroom doors and created urgency around the need to change adult beliefs and practices that weren’t serving students, especially those facing disadvantage due to race or economic status.

But the next phase of improvement calls for a more open-ended approach to problem solving and a recognition of the talent and expertise already present within schools. It also requires district, state and federal leaders to strike a delicate balance between offering resources, setting realistic goals and creating clear structures for support and accountability. New York’s recent experience with Mayor Bill de Blasio’s Renewal initiative—big promises, big money spent, small and unclear returns on investment—shows how hard it is to get that balance right.

School improvement work is messy, and much as we wish there were silver bullets, even the Freshman OnTrack measure is not one of them. When the Dallas Independent School District tried to follow Chicago’s lead by focusing on its freshman on-track rate and changing grading policies, a popular backlash against “no-zero” grading policies likely entrenched teachers in an ineffective “don’t coddle them!” mindset. Dallas never managed to significantly reduce freshman course failures and its on-track rates actually declined.

“The Make-or-Break Year” is an important, and sobering, contribution to the conversation around education reform. It keeps us honest and realistic about what it takes to make real change in a school system. It also keeps us honest about the realities that lasting solutions come from the people closest to the problems, and one solution in one place may not transport well to another. Perhaps the most important lesson of the book is that Chicago’s transformational journey took more than two decades. As New York is re-discovering, lasting change doesn’t usually happen fast.

Photo by Alliance for Excellent Education, CC-licensed.

‘The Make-or-Break Year’ Offers Ed Reformers Sobering Lessons on How Real School Change Happens syndicated from https://sapsnkraguide.wordpress.com

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Chicken Doodle Soup (Don Owens) presents Stick to the Funny Stuff!

I notice your lead female character, 'Oprah Fat-Free' deals with severe depression. Did you do research into how depression works, how the state of mind of a person changes when they are experiencing that? Have you known anyone who was depressed to that point? 

QUESTION #1:  Good question, even though "STICK To The Funny Stuff" doesn't go in-depth on the subject of depression, but rather, utilizes stick-figure comedienne Oprah Fat-Free as a representative for every human being on the planet, who faces some obstacle serving as hindrance to positive existential progression along this miraculous road called life.  But yes, statistics indicate there is a substantial number of depression cases on record. The World Health Organization has reported 300 million people around the world suffer this affliction. Reportedly, 16.2 million U.S. adults have experienced a major depressive episode, with approximately 10 million being severely impaired by their experience.  Anxiety disorders are attributed to approximately 50% of all people diagnosed with depression.  

Depression can befall an individual at any stage in his or her life.  It can range from moderate to crippling, as there are many forms of depression, as well as multiple catalysts thought to precipitate its onset, such as complex-chemical reactions in the brain and gene vulnerability identification.  I myself have been depressed and sought counseling while in the military.  My girlfriend, now deceased due to heart failure, suffered from a bipolar disorder and depression was a significant marker highlighting her condition.  It's a mental-health issue that has motivated individuals even to suicide.  But here's a statistic that I  believe offers hope:  I read a 2017 study indicating that Christianity at this point is still the world's number one faith. So then, for followers of the faith, God offers hope in the face of this state of impairment.

Of course there are skeptics who ascribe God's existence to fervent imagination, but what about those CERTIFIED physicians, such as Dr. Sean Thomas George, who go on public record as saying hopeless cases were reversed by divine intervention?  Who could be more credible sources than esteemed, highly skilled health-technicians, to confirm a miraculous event?  By the way, I myself was in three hospitals in two different states, dying, with no explanation whatsoever as to why my body was shutting itself down.  Doctors were baffled by my condition.  So perplexed was one of my doctors, he mused about publishing my case in a medical journal.  I wouldn't be here today - except for the prayers of my family and the church.  I'm a living witness to God's healing hand.  

Be they physical or mental conditions, God's Word says He is ready to step in to assist us with our afflictions.  I was reading a case of a depressed woman who'd been deemed to be in need of receiving shock treatments for her depression!  But as a believer, she called on Christ, and He availed Himself to her.  No one is saying these condition reversals take place in an instant, necessarily.  Although, God is more than capable of on-the-spot healing, as scripture illustrates.  But often in the Bible, God took His sweet time (in some instances, decades or CENTURIES) about turning situations around, simply because His timetable supersedes ours.  But He tells us in His Word that with His assist, we are more than conquerors through Him that love us (Romans 8:37) and that He is The Lord Who heals us (Exodus 15:26, Psalm 30:2).

Do you think that humor really helps people get through life stuff? Is it a matter of 'laugh or else you'll be crying?' 

QUESTION #2:  Definitely! I read an article posted online at PsychCentral entitled "9 WAYS THAT HUMOR HEALS" by Therese J. Borchard.  She states that "Of all the tools I use to combat depression and negativity, humor is by far the most fun."  I agree with her assessment that humor combats fear, comforts, and relaxes you.  She also notes that it reduces pain, boosts the immune system, reduces stress and cultivates optimism.  And she even mentions one of my favorite scriptures in the Bible, Proverbs 17:22, which states that a merry heart does good like medicine.  Actor Robin Williams' movie "Patch Adams", was based on real-life doctor Hunter Campbell, who infused laughter-based therapy into his treatment regimens for his patients.  Studies show that laughter is an unimpeachably viable element in the healing process.  

That said, I am a humor goon!  I love to laugh and I love trying to make others laugh.  This is why I chose humor to try to convey God's Good News message to the world.  I've seen the dramatic difference God can make in the lives of the willing - and how He replaces tears with the infectious rumble of hearty laughter! And I can tell you, I much prefer laughing to crying, unless they are tears of joy that ensue when you finally get past an agonizing condition or experience, such as the one I had while confined for a few months to hospital beds in Oklahoma and Texas.

How did you come up with Thin Diesel's little motivational messages? What happens when people can't pull themselves up by their own bootstraps anymore? 

QUESTION #3:  Thin Diesel is a character who comprises part of my personality.  If you read my previous bodies of work, you will see that I habitually inject into my projects these bite-sized parcels of humorous, pun-fueled philosophies designed to motivate you to go for broke, to attain the prized goal that defines your purpose, transcending you beyond meat-and-potatoes subsistence, to an actualization mountaintop whose reward is spiritual in scope, where a healthy paycheck is simply a byproduct (because truly money can't buy happiness, otherwise so much of the well-to-do populace wouldn't be as spiritually or emotionally disabled as many among the economically distressed).

I use God's Word, humor and cartoons to remind people that God can get them where He purposes them to be.  But even if you take away my humor tools and my illustrations, God is still right there, cheering you on, telling you He'll get you there as you trust in Him! In His word, He says that in OUR weakness lies HIS strength (2 Corinthians 12:9).  That faith and trust is what compels you to overcome your troubles. I've seen the change God makes in the lives of the hopeless.  It's really quite fascinating.  

What do you think is lacking in modern society that leaves so many people vulnerable to depression and anxiety? Some folks have clinical conditions that cause these mental states and need medical treatment, but I'm more talking about people who go through dark moods and life struggles. How do you think we can begin addressing these problems? 

QUESTION #4:  Don't get me wrong.  I believe in the benefits of medicine.  One of God's disciples was named Luke - and he was a physician.  Certainly our planet offers lavish provision from its vast wilderness-growth credenza, an eclectic array of ingestible products which aid in our mental and physical well being.  But just as the Bible says we cannot live by bread alone, neither can we depend solely upon the abilities of modern medical advancement.  We are human beings, crafted in the Image of our Creator.  The global community we inhabit, unlike yesteryear, is now fraught with ever-evolving technologies, expectations and social philosophies that foster stress, strife and fear.  Add to these elements mankind's reluctance to look to Him Who knows us better than anyone.  

Our hearts are God-shaped and require constant spiritual nourishment that we don't feed it, instead offering it an unhealthy menu of all things contrary to what God says is good for us.  This detrimental diet gives way to those elements which cause our mental/emotional/spiritual health to deteriorate to a milieu where darkness lurks. I know this to be true because, when I used to be depressed a great deal of the time.  As they say, the struggle is REAL.  And grossly disheartening.  But  one day I listened to The Heavenly Father when He told me I don't have to be depressed if I defer to Him.  I did listen - and now I'm thrilled to say I don't become depressed anymore! Ever! I really don't.  That's not to say life is all magical now or anything like that. I have my "MAN, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING MOMENTS???!!!" to be sure.  But Christ has taught me that no matter what I think I see or feel or hear, HE is ALWAYS in control of EVERYTHING.  If we could all truly get a good grasp of His proclamation in our hearts and minds, things would be so different in so many lives.

How did you decide to tell these characters' stories through a zine-like graphic novel? I mean, this could have been a standup routine, or a novella if you expanded the story. What attracted you to the graphic novel format? 

QUESTION #5:  Funny you should ask.  I HAVE performed Christian standup comedy on TV and radio.  And I do have a Christian-humor novel that will be coming out soon, entitled THE DIARY OF BRAN FRANK.  But ever since I was a child growing up in Chicago, I've always had an affinity for drawing. I began making animated cartoons with my movie camera and projector starting at age 12.  I even won an 8th-grade science fair and was sent to the district science fair with my entry, an animated film about energy production.  It was a positively absurd premise, featuring a caveman clubbing a dinosaur into submission, to harness its strength for various chores before the advent of the wheel.  In retrospect, I surmise I only won first place because the adjudicators were smitten with the enterprising spirit of a 14-year old, who'd manufactured an animated cartoon for the occasion.  

In any event, history shows that cartoons are an extremely popular vehicle employed to convey any kind of story for any occasion.  That includes stories that are spiritual in scope. 

How do people tend to respond to your work? Do you have any interesting stories from people who came to hear you or who read your previous books? 

QUESTION #6:  Much to my delight, people seem to love what I do.  I would never brag on myself because people who boast tend not to be as good as they think they are.  But I'm getting great reviews on amazon.com instead of complaints.  Yippee!!!!!!  I love doing book signings as author/cartoonist cHicKEn dOOdLE sOuP.  Okay, here are a few of may favorite instances concerning my work:

1)  I wrote of book of Christian cartoons called MYLES A HEDD, under the pseudonym, The Man From A.N.K.L.E.  What was so cool about that book is that my Indianapolis-based author representative liked it so much, she called me in Southern California to ask me if I would write a book with her!  I was so incredibly honored! 

2)  Many years ago, prolific writer/producer/director/ author/Stephen J. Cannell really liked MYLES A HEDD, and consented to write a blurb for me to insert into one of my books that was to be forthcoming!  What a pleasure to be complimented in such a manner by the now-deceased, Emmy-winning Hollywood luminary who'd created so many memorable TV series such as 21 JUMP STREET,  THE A-TEAM, THE ROCKFORD FILES, THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO and too many more to name here.  Also, Movie-TV-star Rob Schneider (DEUCE BIGELOW, SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE) and "Mad Mike" of MTV's popular series, PIMP MY RIDE have offered me support.  Mad Mike even wrote a review and did a video promotion for my last book, LOVE STEENX.

3).  A woman recently read my current book, cHicKEn dOOdLE sOuP pREsEntS...STICK TO THE FUNNY STUFF!!!  When she arrived at the final page, she told me how much she loved it...while shedding tears! Actual tears!  I was touched beyond measure!  That kind of reception is an author's dream and I will never ever forget that.  Because I really was wondering if people would get it.  They do and I thank God I can use laughter to point the way to Him.  God bless you one and all. And hey, don't forget to go for your dreams like I am - as I STICK TO THE FUNNY STUFF!!!

Stick to the Funny Stuff can be ordered here from Iceberg Tony’s Used Denture Discounts.