#of course i could be totally wrong
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Every Film I Watch In 2023:
15. Broadcast Signal Intrusion (2021)
#broadcast signal intrusion#harry shum jr#2023filmgifs#my gifs#i thought i had a really good grasp on that the whole way through#until that last scene that threw me for a loop#but i've thought about it some more#and reformulated my theory back to the original idea#with a little twist#of course i could be totally wrong#BUT I WILL NEVER KNOW SO THERE#yes i deliberately degraded these gifs#for Aesthetic Reasons
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unwell about neuvifuri again because for 400 years furina has encouraged neuvillette to open up to humanity, to make friends, to communicate and love and take time to enjoy himself, and over time neuvillette must have realized that furina never really did any of those things for herself, as hedonistic as she might’ve seemed on the surface
throughout the entire archon quest neuvillette is increasingly confused and distressed by furina’s refusal to communicate or confide in him… he notes that there’s something she feels she can’t trust him with after the arlecchino incident, and after their argument in his office he admits that he just doesn’t understand why she won’t communicate when that is the foundation of a healthy relationship (I will bet money that furina is the one who taught him that in the first place!)
he’s clear with her, she knows everything about him, but it slowly becomes evident that she doesn’t trust him in the same way and it must just eat neuvillette up inside that his closest confidant, the one who showed him how to form relationships and open up to people, can’t do the same with him
#I do think furina trusted neuvi the most but of course it could never be complete before the aq#and poor neuvi just doesn’t get why!!!!#why won’t she tell him what’s going on! why won’t she come to him when something’s wrong!#everyone going on abt one sided nvfr from furina’s end before 4.2#but honestly if anything it was one sided from neuvi’s end#furina had to convince herself she was totally alone… she couldn’t trust anybody… sob sob#neuvifuri#genshin impact#neuvillette#furina#blazie speaks
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Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part Three
For Xiantober Day Five: Past and Present, in which the author gets very unhinged about what parts of the past are shown and how that’s affected by the present!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
The Power of Agency: Shaping the Narrative
When I've discussed Wei Wuxian's agency previously, I’ve talked about how what’s shown and omitted tells us about a character, and we’ve talked about the character himself. Though this is a niche topic, it’s not necessarily something out of the ordinary to analyse, and we can assume everything up to here has been in some way intentional.
This? Linking structure to a character’s in-universe preferences?
This is where we get unhinged.
Before I start, let’s quickly establish something which will be important later: although Wei Wuxian is the central character, MDZS isn’t strictly from his POV. While omitting events a character doesn’t like to dwell on and concealing things the character wishes to hide is common in books with only one narrator, MDZS has multiple narrators which it switches between relatively quickly. This includes Wei Wuxian, but it also includes nearly every major character that appears in the story, and omniscient narrator as well. As a default, this format doesn’t lead to this deliberate shaping and omission because of one character’s preferences, since we have many other sources of information and events – which is what makes Wei Wuxian’s influence over the narrative and structure so interesting. We could have access to a lot more information, and access to it at different times, than we do (and that’s not an insult, quite the opposite!).
To begin: we’ve established that times such as Wei Wuxian’s time on the streets, his three months in the Burial Mounds and his loss in the Siege aren’t shown because Wei Wuxian has little agency there. But that’s not the only special thing about them. They’re also the three most traumatic times in his life, and so moments Wei Wuxian himself either can’t remember, or doesn’t like to dwell on.
This is why discussing Wei Wuxian’s treatment of tragedy in his life was important. Firstly, it shows he doesn’t focus on the tragedy in his life, so the idea that the narrative not focusing on this tragedy relates to his character has merit; secondly, it affirms that this is not a passive trait, but a choice. Therefore, when the narrative omits events due to this aspect of Wei Wuxian, it’s respecting not only a character detail – which would be cool by itself – but also an active decision. One that shapes the story it’s made in.
In other words, its very structure is respecting Wei Wuxian’s agency!
Now, of course there are flashbacks to other moments of his past he probably wouldn’t like to dwell on, too. But within the structure, they’re only shown when Wei Wuxian is thinking about them (or when he has reason to)!
Wei WuXian hadn’t woken up yet. His eyes were still tightly shut, yet his hand didn’t let go either. He seemed to be dreaming, muttering, “… Don’t… Don’t be angry…” Lan WangJi seemed somewhat surprised. His voice was gentle, “I am not angry.” Wei WuXian, “… Oh.” Hearing this, as though he finally felt assured, his fingers loosened. Lan WangJi sat beside Wei WuXian for a while. Seeing that he was motionless again, he was about to stand up when Wei WuXian grabbed him with his other hand, hugging his arm and refusing to let go. He shouted, “I’ll go with you, quick, take me back to your sect!” Chapter 63, EXR translation
Which, of course, is him dwelling on…
Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Go back to Gusu with me.” Hearing this, both Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng were surprised. Quickly afterward, Wei WuXian laughed, “Go back to Gusu with you? To the Cloud Recesses? Why go there?” He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.” Chapter 62, EXR translation
…the painful flashback immediately preceding this. The third set of flashbacks (which are also painful) are a similar case. Look at the contex:
He lifted the bottom of his robe, revealing a prosthetic leg made of wood, “This leg of mine was destroyed by you, that night in the Nightless City (…)” (…) “Wei WuXian, I won’t ask you if you remember or not. Both of my parents died by your hands. You owe too many people. You definitely won’t remember them either. But, I, Fang MengChen, will never forget! And never forgive you!” (…) “In the fight at Qiongqi Path, my son was strangled to death by your dog Wen Ning!” “My shixiong died by poison, his entire body festering due to your cruel curse!” Chapter 68 (immediately preceding the flashbacks), EXR translation
And Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts and words:
Wei WuXian looked at the cultivators before the Demon-Slaughtering Cave. Their expressions were the absolute same as those of the cultivators from the night of the pledge conference, pouring their wine on the ground as they took the pledge to scatter the ashes of the Wen Sect’s remnants and him. (…) Wei WuXian, “Now it’s time to ask just whom it is that treasures it so much. It’s like Wen Ning. Back then, some certain sects or so were scared to death of the Ghost General. They said they’d kill him on the surface, but behind their backs they hid him for over ten years. How strange. Who was the one that said his ashes had been scattered back then?” Chapter 79 (immediately succeeding the flashbacks), EXR translation
Once again, Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts relate to the flashbacks we’ve just been shown. And, as I previously mentioned, though all the events which are shown are tragic, they’re also events which Wei Wuxian’s own choices and actions shaped – which he has this to say about:
“The things I did, not only do you remember them, I remember them too. You won’t forget them, and they’ll stay even longer in my mind!” Chapter 82, EXR
Admittedly, this applies more to the third set of flashbacks than the second (which is still fitting as the third set was the most recent), as in the second, although he still had agency within and influence over his circumstances, the majority of the pain was caused by others’ actions (excluding, of course, the Golden Core transfer… which is something we know stays for a long time in his mind, albeit with a caveat we’ll soon discuss). But it’s still important to note – especially considering that otherwise, focusing on this very painful time in his life wouldn’t seem like something very in-character for Wei Wuxian to do.
Of course, this can all just be explained by good writing. It is best to insert flashbacks when they’re relevant to the characters and events in the present day! But it is interesting to compare these to the start of the (not painful) Gusu flashbacks, which open this way:
At a later time, Wei WuXian pondered upon the reason why his relationship with Lan WangJi wasn’t good. Getting to the root of the matter, everything started when he was fifteen, coming to the GusuLan Sect with Jiang Cheng to study for three months. Chapter 13, EXR
Again, considering the circumstances around which these flashbacks take place – returning to the Cloud Recesses for the first time since the lectures, and meeting Lan Wangji once more – it makes complete sense for Wei Wuxian to be thinking about these events*. So it does fit the pattern of Wei Wuxian dwelling on something, thus leading to the narrative dwelling on it, too (and being shaped by his thoughts)… but there’s another layer to this. Importantly, it is the only flashback where Wei Wuxian’s present thoughts don’t lead to this happening, with his thoughts at an unspecified future time leading to it, instead. I like to interpret this as the text saying that, since these events aren’t something Wei Wuxian wouldn’t focus on in normal circumstances, he can dwell on them at any time. Therefore, they’re free to come up in the narrative at any time as well, even if he’s not dwelling on them in the present moment!
So, to summarise: Wei Wuxian’s decision not to focus on the painful times in his life directly influences the narrative to not focus on these times. When painful times are brought up and shown to us, it’s in the context of him thinking about them in the present day, and even then, his most painful moments still aren’t shown to us. His agency in this regard is still respected by the narrative structure.
This is the main way his agency influences the structure of the narrative, but I’d like to talk about the revealing and concealing of information, too. For example, I said I’d talk about the Golden Core transfer – though Wei Wuxian does think about this many times, as evidenced by his internal narration in Chapter 103. But unlike everything we’re shown through the flashbacks, this is something Wei Wuxian is actively trying to hide from others. And the narrative respects this choice (Wei Wuxian’s agency, again), never reveals it even when it would be relevant in the flashbacks, and we find out not through narration, but through a character’s dialogue!
And to clarify – I know these aspects may not be in the book for this exact reason. Showing flashbacks in relevant moments is good writing, concealing an important plot point you want to do a reveal for is necessary writing, and MXTX has said she didn’t want to write about Wei Wuxian’s time in the Burial Mounds, due to not liking to write transformation sequences (and also because it would not be pleasant at all, which likely also applies to Wei Wuxian’s death). That doesn’t prevent it from also being intentional – MXTX’s intelligence is shown in many aspects of this book, and there’s nothing disproving it – but there’s no proof for either option, so I won’t pretend there is. I bring this up because I know this feels like I’m overanalysing, as I feel that way as well.
But, whether it’s intentional or not, it exists in the text, and I adore it – so, regardless, it’s something I’ll explore. Because taking this into account… We aren't just told about Wei Wuxian having agency, we aren’t just shown it in the text, we aren’t even just shown it through which parts of his past are shown and hidden in the structure of the text (as I talked about in Part One). The parts of the past that are shown and hidden also have an in-universe reason for being shown and hidden, this reason being the choices he makes! Agency is the ability of a character to influence the story they’re in, but Wei Wuxian’s agency, as a property of a character who only exists in-universe, shapes the out-of-universe structure as well! That’s how we’re shown its importance! How cool is that?
At The End Of The Road: Summary and Final Thoughts
In this essay, we’ve covered how important Wei Wuxian’s agency is not only to the events of the plot, but to the structure of the narrative as well. The narrative omits periods in which Wei Wuxian has little or no agency, in favour of showing us periods in which he does, even when important events happened in the former. This indicates that who Wei Wuxian is without agency isn’t important enough to be shown to the audience, and therefore that his agency is an integral aspect of his character in MDZS. We’ve discussed how both in-universe and out-of-universe, tragedy does not define him – out-of-universe, the tragic events in Wei Wuxian’s life are used not to build sympathy but rather to show his strength of character and who he still is despite going through them; and in-universe, he chooses not to focus on the negativity and resentment caused by his circumstances or others’ actions, instead staying true to his moral compass and enjoying his life in the present day. Finally, we’ve also explored how this choice is another reason for the omission of certain events from the narrative, resulting in his agency shaping the story in a very literal way – it affects the out-of-universe structure, as well.
It’s quite fitting, for a story whose essence is about defying a conventional narrative – that of righteous clans rising up and defeating a great evil – and about a character who defies many conventional narratives on his own – that of status defining how skilled you could be, that for a golden core being necessary for cultivation and other paths being unavailable, that of a tragic but complete story of someone killed for staying true to their moral code (instead, that character returns to life and has a happy ending) – to have its own narrative play a role in such an important and interesting way.
(Or, if an image would be preferable:)
Thank you for reading!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
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*This strong relation to the present day circumstances is another reason I love the flashback placement so much (and why I think it’s such a loss both screen adaptions altered it so strongly)!
#get ready for tag thoughts because there are a LOT of them#it’s for THIS reason that fanon wwx bothers me so much (didn’t want to get negative on the acual post)#bc so often all the changes are changes that woobify him!#self-sacrificial idiot wwx?? only doing things because… poor him he has so many internal issues and values himself so little-#-so of course he’d sacrifice everything before thinking of another option? woobifying#(whenever he sacrifices something it’s a deliberate choice to act on his morals because he values his morals so much – and he’s also very-#-capable and DOES often find ways for no people to get hurt!)#wasn’t aware that what happened to him at lotus pier was wrong and needs lwj to tell him that for him to have any idea if it?#woobifying (as we see in the lotus seed pod extra he KNOWS it’s unfair)#(he downplays it retroactively in his memory (links into not focusing on the bad things in his life))#(but that’s the actions themselves that are being downplayed not their fairness!)#he chooses to act! he is defined by acting! not tragedy – all the more impressive in the face of the amount of tragedy that’s happened#he could SO EASILY have been a woobie but instead he’s the opposite of one: defined BY his agency instead of the absence of it#that doesn’t mean he’s not impacted by tragedy or trauma – he is! but it’s not the most important aspect of his character (bc he doesn’t le#it’s also something that bothers me about the changes cql made#by making qq path and nightless city the fault of someone else it means he IS someone who’s more a victim of circumstance than anything els#he had no control over the tragedies of his first life at all#apart from ig his death being controlled by him? because he just leaps off the cliff during the nightless city siege?? but in THAT case it’#i watched that part recently (i’m getting through it very slowly) and yeah it reaffirmed my love for this aspect of the book even more#despite. having these exact thoughts for two years already#he also dwells on the past events a lot more than book wwx which adds to that version of him BEING defined more by tragedy rather than who#anyway over 7.3k words total (and 400 more in the tags apparently)... it'll be posted to ao3 in its completion this evening!#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc
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I’m really starting to think arthur is actually cursed or something cause as soon as he cared about daniel, he died. both the kiy and kayne mention arthur’s proximity to death and how everyone he’s ever loved has died and the fact that those two are cosmic entities implies to me that this isn’t a sad character backstory thing but an actual threat. I swear the second john gets a physical body he would keel over in the family guy death pose because of arthur.
#I could be totally wrong of course!#but it’s becoming too much of a coincidence…#malevolent#malevolent spoilers#arthur lester#he can’t manloser his way out of this one 😞
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Elden Rings' gods and demi-gods are a good example of godhood.
They are powerful beings, but even with power...
Their lifes are filled with sadness, pain and the feeling that their power is not enough.
Not enough to protect them from their curses, from the world influencing them but most importantly...
Not enough to make them truly live a happy and fullfilling life.
#elden ring#elden ring gods#elden ring demi-gods#no one of them can ever be truly happy#the omen twins shunned for beings omens even tho they are marika and godfrey's children#ranni doing everything do everything to archieve her goal but losing everything in return#rykard becoming more monster than a true god#radahn holding onto everything until he finds his end only to be revived to be a tool for someone else#malenia doing anything to help her brother while suffering under the curse of the rot#and miquella... laying down everything to be a god who seems to be nothing like the demi-god people worshipped#and messmer oh boi abounded even tho he did everything for his dear mother#and of course melina#i am not saying they are innocent#but i guess in some way you can pity them#my thoughts#as always i could be totally wrong#edit: ah i forgot godwyn! do i really have to say something about him? he is nothing but a corpse spreading a curse while being... dead#elden ring morgott#elden ring mohg#elden ring malenia#elden ring miquella#elden ring ranni#elden ring radahn#elden ring rykard#elden ring godwyn#elden ring messmer#elden ring melina
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DOCTOBER '24 ⸺ 「 1 / 31 * RED-LETTER DATE 」
“Hey Doc? I wanna ask you something.”
Emmett doesn’t pop his head through the doorway to acknowledge his friend, too focused on topping off one of the mugs of hot chocolate with a generous helping of marshmallows, but he does shout, “Of course, Marty,” into the air. “You know you don’t have to ask. Let me bring Verne his cup and then you’ll have my undivided attention.”
Marty makes a vague noise that many years of friendship has taught Emmett means sure thing, Doc, and it takes him barely three minutes to drop off the hot chocolate to Verne, who smiled like it was Christmas morning when he saw the mountain of marshmallows floating at the top, and join Marty in the living room, carrying the tray with their own drinks. He passes one of them off to Marty who accepts with a smile and a nod and then takes a seat opposite him, fixing him with an expectant look.
“So, what did you want to ask me?”
Marty’s eyes immediately drift to the shelf, where Emmett and Clara’s small assortment of family photos sit, arranged in elegant wooden frames. In the centre is a black and white photo that has started to yellow around the edges, looking paradoxically fragile and yet able to withstand even the most rigorous tests of time, holding onto that frozen memory for all eternity. Emmett turns his head to follow Marty’s attention, his eyes alighting on the single photo he expects will be the topic of their conversation.
Ah. Out of all of them, there is only one Marty was never able to be present for.
For once, Emmett manages to look perfectly natural in a photograph, even dressed to the nines in a sharp suit. His smile stretches from ear-to-ear, making him look at least ten years younger, and though his face is angled away from the camera, his eyes are bright and alive, brimming with love and warmth. Marty could even imagine the photographer trying to get Emmett’s attention, demanding he look at him for the photo, only for every single word to go in one ear and straight out the other when Clara was standing beside him, smiling, the picture of radiance as she regards her husband with the same fond warmth. Her wedding dress was no more intricate than any of the outfits Marty had seen her wear during his few days in the Nineteenth Century, yet it seemed to be made for her and her alone, perfectly tailored and somehow able to put even the outfits of royalty to shame.
If Clara was the sun, Emmett was the moon that revolved around her. In that single moment, forever frozen in time, they were the only two people on Earth.
“I had been wanting to ask for a while, but–”
“No, no, of course. You didn’t get the chance to see it, and I’m sorry for that, so I’d be happy to fill you in on the details.”
Marty curls his fingers around the warm mug, shuffling somewhat in his seat, and Emmett waits patiently, noting each one of Marty’s nervous habits as they arise. There are a hundred and one things Marty wants to say, Emmett can see them written across his body, written into every small movement, and, equal and opposite, there are a thousand things Emmett wants to say in return, things he makes an effort to hold back until Marty speaks first.
“I’m happy for you two, Doc–really, I am. Clara’s–well, Clara’s amazing. And I’ve never seen you so happy before. I was afraid that–” Marty shakes his head, his eyes focused on the photographs. “When I first saw the picture, I was…” He forces a laugh, but there’s no humour in it and Emmett would know that self-depreciatory tone anywhere.
“It’s stupid, I know. I didn’t realise it at first, but I was jealous. Can you believe that, Doc? My best friend is happy, he’s got a family for Christ’s sake, and I was too busy at first being afraid that now you’re–you’re just gonna forget me because you’ve got Clara and the boys and the house and there wouldn’t be a place for me.”
Emmett’s eyes widen despite knowing the blow was coming and before he can open his mouth, allow the words that have been building up on his tongue to break free, Marty shakes his head and continues, reinforcing the wall and keeping the words at bay just a little longer.
“I know what you’re gonna say, Doc. I already said I know it’s stupid but I couldn’t help feeling that way. And I should have asked you about your wedding and everything a lot longer ago but I-I just couldn’t. And that’s fucking stupid, right? I want to know because I couldn’t be there for you and you’ve always been there for me.”
Marty’s words are a blade driven straight through his chest, each word twisting that razor-sharp blade a little more. He can’t help the pang of guilt he feels echoing in his ribcage, scraping against the bars of a prison he will not allow it to escape from, not now. This conversation was a long time coming–he’d almost expected it sooner rather than later, but he knew better than to push, knowing Marty would open up when he was ready–but no amount of anticipation could have prepared him for the blow that hearing it put to words would strike.
The Time Machine’s destruction had not been an accident. Everything had been carefully orchestrated to prevent any further corruption of the timestream, to spare himself the temptation–the broken heart–of trying to go back against all rational, scientific thought.
Ultimately, Marty couldn’t stay in the Nineteenth Century, not if he wanted to live a normal life, not if he wanted to be happy. And he couldn’t allow Marty to become another unsolved disappearance, leaving the McFlys to wonder and agonise over their youngest son who vanished from the face of the Earth without a trace.
Emmett may not have planned to stay, but even he couldn’t predict Clara’s intervention.
Life had to go on, even under extreme or difficult circumstances. There was only one choice available, then.
Still, Emmett doesn’t hesitate.
“Marty, I could never forget you. Whether we’re in the same time period or separated across the timestream, you will always be my best friend. And I will never stop caring about you. I know things have been busy lately, both for you and for me, what with your college courses and the boys’ schooling and Clara’s acclimation to the Twentieth Century and making the necessary repairs on the house–” Emmett stops himself before he runs off the entire list of seemingly infinitely-growing projects on his list.
“The point is, nothing is going to change that. And I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel neglected or unwanted at any point, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”
Marty nods, finally pulling his eyes away from the photo to take a good long look at his best friend.
“I know, Doc. God, I know. You must think I’m an asshole.”
“You’re not an asshole. Far from it.”
Marty actually smiles at that, swirling his hot chocolate carefully in the cup. “So… You’ll still tell me about your wedding day?”
“Of course I will, Marty.” Emmett pauses for a moment, a thoughtful expression working its way over his face. Then, he smiles, almost conspiratorially as he recalls something of particular note. “The minister certainly wasn’t pleased when we changed until death do us part to something a little more fitting–until the end of time—”
@bttfdoctober
#back to the future#bttf#bttfdoctober#doctober 2024#LET'S GOOOO#SO. i've got a lot of thoughts about well everything but#i definitely think that while marty loves clara and the boys of course he couldn't help but be wary of them at first#feel jealous. think he was being replaced because now he wasn't the most important thing to doc#he's got the boys and a beautiful wife - why would he need/want marty along?#and there was definitely some jealousy and even low-key resentment/hostility at first which clara most certainly noticed#marty feels terrible about that but he couldn't help it. and neither doc nor clara reproach him for it because he's not wrong to feel as su#and though life gets busy doc could never forget marty but it's easy to forget that for marty - especially in the wake of all that's happen#and i think marty deeply regrets / perhaps even resents the fact that he didn't get to attend doc's wedding#one of the most important days of his best friend's life and he missed it#and missed ten years of doc's life too - separated by the once again impassable barrier of time.#it's a lot. it's complex and messy and all that#marty does want to know about the wedding - absolutely - but there's still so much they have to talk about#and this got so fucking long. 1200+ words and they all suck fjlk;asd;jf#BUT IT'S WRITTEN AND OH WELL.#i'll get back into the swing of it later#i have many many thoughts about the doc/clara wedding too ugh#clara looked absolutely beautiful and you can't convince me otherwise. she was the only one at that ceremony for doc and you know it#also this was supposed to go in a totally different direction yet somehow we ended up here. whoops! i strike again.
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eusgahhhhh goddddd the lazy urge to just beg the internet to mansplain killer's lore to me in baby talk so i can finally GET IT and then the other less appealing urge to actually do an analysis on him so i can form my own opinion and observations. fucj
#im so tired maaaan eudgahhhhhh#i need to come up with more asks to ask people#because apparently i want to do that now. whats wrong with you brain why do you want this#im so TIRED i could EAT a WHALE!#i need to DO IT. I NEED TO ACTUALLY DO A FUCKING KILLER ANALYSIS ITS BEEN TOO LONG#thanksgiving break is coming up will that be enough for me to want to study him with my magnifying glass#this feels like sans and papyrus are the energy controlling angel and demons on my shoulders#speaking of classic undertale this has actually nothing to do with undertale LMAO#but i can just imagine myself as chara in the murder time trio fangame fight#aaaahahahahahaha horror would be so maaad <33333 i DID just destroy his entire au after all :333#and dust would be FURIOUS!!! BOTH OF THEM!!!! SO PISSED AT ME!!!!#i just took away one's place of achieving a goal and another's place of demented comfort#yeaaaah those two would be SO pissed heehehehehehe#horror never gets to have his potential happy ending because i took it away#dust never gets to honor all those he killed and put an end to what he did because of ME#the murder time trio fangame concept is SO underrated guys. touken-kamui's mtt is AMAZING#and because i look like a chara of course killer's got an entire internal conflict going on#FUCK alright sure. unsure of where this thought process will lead but we ball. me when thinking about anything killer related (i am unsure)#ANOTHER fucking chara messed up his life eruaghhhh and to make things worse they dont even seem to LIKE something new#touken-kamui's chara seems to be a megalomaniac instead of a shitty sadistic scientist#i would look so similar to the one that he doesn't know if he hates or not#should he fight alongside these 2 strangers or should he submit like he always did to his chara. to this NEW chara???#and this is all just assuming this is that 1 ending where killer kills chara and hasnt met nm yet (my favorite ending)#EFUAGH!!!! would killer stay back after the first few minutes. let dust and horror fight in steed of him as he deals w this#the two would be SO annoyed at him too. at this point if i wasn't there they'd probably kill eachother. or killer#well killer can't save or reset in the judgement hall that we got sucked into#so he actually has to put some value to his body and life if he wants to fight me#SEE WHAT I MEAN TOUKEN-KAMUI'S MURDER TIME TRIO IS AWESOME!!!!!#tricule rant#this got totally off topic from what the post was about but i should do it
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nikolaj’s hair is so soft and fluffy in nightwatch
#nightwatch (1994)#nattevagten#nikolaj coster waldau#also i think the english language remake used that same pic for the detective when he was young#i could be totally wrong since i watched the ewan version like two months ago. but it looks really familiar#my memory is crap so now i’m questioning if that picture in the office really is of the detective or if it was of another guy#i don’t remember. but either way i’m pretty sure the same photo was used#also i’m like 8 minutes in just going ‘wow so the english version is almost exactly the same word for word and shot for shot’#cue me realizing i’m stupid. of course it’s the same they both had the same director 😭🤡
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I like to imagine Stretch is a lightweight when it comes to everything except caffeine. He'd take one hit off a blunt and in five minutes forget he has legs. He’d drink one martini and have trouble walking a straight line. He'd consider taco bell spicy. They always start him at the lowest possible dose on any prescription medication. But coffee? Half a pot and maybe he can function like he’s fully awake.
This is inverted for Edge and Rus of course, with Rus landing on the high end of average and Edge just straight up being unaffected. Except caffeine. Never give either of them espresso or they won't even sit down for a minimum of three days. Thankfully Rus doesn't really like the taste and Edge just drinks decaf.
#exaggerated for comedic effect of course but I do really enjoy hcing stretch as being super easily affected by stuff#edge would make like. indian food for dinner one time and Stretch wouldn't be able to stop crying or caughing for like an hour minimum#probably even just from the smell of it cooking poor guy#edge could probably eat lava and consider it slightly zesty there's something wrong with him#Rus also totally will drink coffee and make that everyone else's problem just bc he can <3#sun spots#us stretch#ut rus#uf edge
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Spoilers from CME 17x10.
folks, please. emily prentiss does not have a (til now) secret sister. she's fucked with Bailey before to win him over or maneuver him or whatever.
#cm spoilers#cme spoilers#criminal minds spoilers#criminal minds evolution spoilers#spoilers#of course i could be totally wrong and they did just reveal a heretofore secret [redacted]#how very buffy#emily prentiss
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hi hello i think im in love with ur brain, thank you for being on the internet
hello!! aaaaa this is SO sweet thank you so much anon you're too nice to me. i am so terrified of existing on the internet with my thoughts and opinions especially about DC stuff, so this is very reassuring of you to say. so thank you for caring about the things that come out of my brain <3
#necrotic answerings#kindly praise#i'm glad one of us is in love with my brain#i'm usually fistfighting the poor bastard.#it never obeys.#but seriously tho i'm so blessed that like. ppl have been *so* kind to me since starting this blog#i was rlly worried about not getting any traction on anything i posted#or ppl being rude and arguing bc my opinions can be particular#but i've had none of that. like i've even had far less antis than i expected to get#i've dealt with three in total so far? which like seems very low considering what it could be#and only once did someone try to correct me and they were super kind when i pointed out they were wrong#so all in all i've bene having a good go on here#course now i've gone and jinxed it probably#but this was so sweet anon i'm soft. gonna go scream#truly needed this rn bc i'm dealing with a lot of big boy real world stuff off of tumblr so like#it's nice to have this as a haven outside of that
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Oh no, man. I decided to watch the Damien episode of Perfect Person coz I only found out about it from the Angela appearance.
There's a part (around 2:45) where he says he booked the Starfield VA gig right when he first started at Smosh so with it coming out recently, it kinda bookended "this part of his internet life".
And I was like, WHAT DOES HE MEAN? IS HE LEAVING SMOSH??
<darthvader.gif> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
I find it interesting that he also says right before at (2:46) that he's trying to "Focus up, here soon" and since this Podcast was only 4months ago... Wonder what that means!
Ok ok joking aside I don't really think that's exactly what he meant by the things he said. I think he was mainly talking about doing more voice over work and "focus" on it more, not that he's going to fully leave Smosh.
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He also says that he spent 5-6 yrs recording for that game, so that's why I think him saying "bookended this whole part of my internet life" is ONLY referring to him voicing over that game.
I'm also pretty sure "this whole" is (although it does sound like it could mean what you thought) almost definitely his southerner coming out, and what he meant was "the game coming out has bookended 5-6yrs worth of work for the voice over I did" not that he's quitting anything (I'm becoming the truth speaker of Damien Haas)
Holy shit bro, I'm getting good at this 'decoding whatever people assume Damien meant' stuff! I felt my skin glowing while I was trying to decipher what he meant lmao
I am become Truth, the Breaker of Assumptions
#Smoshblr#smosh#Damien Haas#holy fucking brain blast#I am become Truth breaker of assumptions#that might be the hardest thing I've ever written#dude honestly#im thinking about it rn and I think (weirdly enough) that if damien spoke more southern he wouldnt be as misunderstood all the time#he mixes in a lot of 'southerner' phrases that just dont come across the way he means them to#(I have a hyperfixation on how language and culture can change a persons personality)#whiles hes saying “this whole” he moves his hand around in a wiping motion#WHICH IF HE TALKED A LITTLE SLOWER AND WITH MORE OF HIS ACCENT COMES ACROSS EXACTLY LIKE I THINK HE MEANT IT#hes a southerner that has been infested with a cali accent while still keeping his way of phrasing which makes people confused#if this doesn't make any sense to you uuuhhhhhh my bad#but I think I cracked the case!#of why so many people mistake his intentions!#oh and of course I could be totally wrong and he is leaving smosh#but i dont think so
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saw my favorite bylers talk about the relationship between Mike and Joyce again and now i just can't stop thinking about it
not just if she saw the airport fiasco but what if she saw the conflict between willelmike
or after they're all finally in hawkins again maybe she saw there's something going on and asked Jonathan and he told her some things he knew he could let her know
and then she comes to Mike and he expects it. he expects her to be angry to start criticising him cause he fucked up and hurts everyone and he knew this was coming but god does it hurt. this is the woman that feels like a second mother to him the woman that sometimes feels more like a mother to him then his actual mom and he knows being criticised by her is going to be the last straw and a part of him is dreading this but a part of him also thinks he deserves this. of course he does he fucked up he's the bad guy he hurt people he hurt her children she loves more than anything of course he deserves this
so he can take it. it will hurt. it will be like a punch in the face but he can take it it's what happens after that's the real question
but Joyce just smiles at him so gently and asks if he's doing okay. if everything is alright if something is going on. she tells him she cares about him and she knows he's been through a lot but if he needs her she's here for him. if he needs to talk she will listen if he just needs someone to be there for him she will be and she's just so caring and gentle and loving to Mike and Mike just. fucking. breaks.
he doesn't even remember when was the last time someone treated him this way like his feelings matter like he matters and he just can't help it. someone finally sees more than his snarkiness. someone finally sees more than him being a jerk. someone finally sees there's something more going on. someone finally sees the pain behind it and cares enough to actually ask him of he's okay and so he just lets himself cry in front of someone for the first time in years
#byler#mike wheeler#joyce byers#mike and joyce#my favorite mother and future son in law relationship to think about#i love to think about Mike seeing Joyce as his second mother and Joyce seeing Mike as if he's her own son#like god this is the kid she saw grow up since he was like 5 this is the boy that made her son so much happier#and i bet she never invalidated his feelings or anything because Joyce would never#and Mike just feeling safe around her and Joyce being one of the few people who never see him as the bad guy because that's Mike#and she only sees him as the kind boy who is always so caring and gentle with her Will#and of course she wants to make sure he's okay and that he knows she's there for him#and how much that must mean to Mike his parents never show interest they always invalidate his feelings and never ask if he's doing okay#they never make him feel safe like he can talk to them but Joyce god she's the exact opposite#she always just shows him care and never makes him feel wrong for just being himself and i'm sobbing now#where is my own Joyce to adopt me please#Also about Jonathan telling Joyce some things no he totally wouldn't out Will or anything#he would say what he knew he could but he doesn't know much about the situation himself#and Joyce totally already knows about Will so it would probably look like#Joyce: i see there's some tension between Mike El and Will is everything alright?#Jonathan: we had to listen to Mike's shitty unhonest love confession to El and it was so bad it got Max killed :/#Joyce:😰#anyways sorry for rambling i just have many thoughts about this#blue's 'Mike's extreme defender' ramblings
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i don't know why im so obsessed with chisato lately, i just feel like she gets it (insane)
#i mean so does sayo tbh#this is maya's insane head canon corner but i feel like both of them probably feel like a lot of their desires are inherently bad you know#for different reasons of course#but in effect i really can't imagine chisato as someone who could like go on a date with a girl without like deeply examining herself#and trying to figure out how she's the monster you know#and sayo is like omg sayo has so much going on#she probably is like half i don't deserve anything and half i deserve everything#in a non sayohina scenario how do you think sayo would react to hina getting a girlfriend first because like#idk it would be crazy inside her mind especially if it's someone sayo likes right which i could totally see hina not realizing#and then herself feeling like absolutely garbage for hurting her sister again when she kind of didn't do anything wrong#ah this ran away from me idk#in a sayohina context things would also be insane but there are more qualified users out there to talk about it#im not really much of a sayohina shipper cause i think they should like be miserable forever and constantly step on eachothers toes#like metaphorically i mean
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connie thinking she must tell her parents steven has a nuclear family in fusion cuisine is so relatable to the kid experience of knowing your parents discipline you but not knowing why. connie’s parents would absolutely be fine with steven having a dead mom. but to connie, when all she has in her mind is that her parents are strict, nothing of value is actually happening through their parenting style. and with that is the odd feeling of: “you’re okay with that?” because when your parents object over every little thing and you have to tip-toe constantly around them, finding out what doesn’t cross their barriers isn’t as relieving as it should be.
#of course this is under the assumption that connie had no specific reason to think her parents wouldn’t understand steven doesn’t have#a traditional mom#i could be wrong and like connie parents could’ve made a snide remark abt a single parent household once that’s totally possible#picking a much lighter and funnier way i relate to this feeling#once we got a new pet—let’s say we named him rover#and my parents told me to ‘not tell my neighbor friends about rover’#for some reason kid me took that as ‘don’t tell my friends about the NAME we just chose but telling them about the pet was just fine’#(i later found out my parents didn’t like me inviting them over to see our pet all the time#why didn’t they just say that??)
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re: the music rant I tagged you in I am so sorry for tagging you in my double-dose caffeine fueled haterism explosion post. truly was off the shits and did not realize how much random garbage talking points I was ready to spill on the first person to ask
but i love haterism…..
#truly i really don’t care if ppl like those artists. they do so for good reason#but it’s just impossible to see it as like. particularly noteworthy and countercultural or anything anymore?#like obv it’ll never be on the same mainstream level of like taylor swift or w/e#but as far as being ‘weird’ or ‘fringe’ it’s like. safe weird. safe fringe#mainstream weird or mainstream fringe to use an oxymoron#there’s nothing wrong with enjoying something with a large community that makes you feel something#but it just isn’t particularly striking as far as making a statement about how unique you are#not that you need to be unique to be cool#but i think a lot of people truly do see it as a thing that makes them special or even superior#it’s not harmful at all just a little silly#and truly when every young neurodivergent well-off internet dweller is doing it. well it’s not totally weird is it#safe and sanitized weirdness#either that or to get back to the point if it is true weirdness then it’s like yeah are you sure this goes on that character playlist LOL#maybe the other bigger threat is when stuff is genuinely good and raw and unique and strange#art that’s screaming something out#and it gets watered down into something incredibly generic#like this lament about the singer’s very real life is like ‘woagh this is just like these two fictional white men who have never met’#less ‘morally wrong’ and more ‘hardcore cringe at best and in poor taste at worst’#or like. what if it is an EXTREMELY specific situation genuinely#why is it on every playlist 🤔#the answer is bc it goes hard of course so who am i to say they’re wrong for having fun#but behind the scenes in secret i’ll be laughing sinisterly#like everybody in the world thinks Their Artist is the most freakish unique and special artist. including swifties#fact of the matter there’s always something weirder. even the stuff i listen to i am well aware could be so much freakier#is there really any point in making it a competition of how weird you are#just listen to what appeals to you and stop acting like you’re the main character idk#asks#dj-of-the-coven#ok i’m done now. hope none of this sounded too bitter and judgmental
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