#of all the facets of my own and the time i have and resources to make things happen i know in my heart of hearts really that i could do it

[alphalesbian]

Youll just be minding your own business when all of a sudden the inherant intimacy of solo instrumental music is realized upon you. Like youre just supposed to proceed normally after

[coddda]

Light's relationship with his father is such a heartbreaking multi-faceted tragedy to me I hate it so so so much.

Soichiro loves his son so much, and while he's certainly not a perfect father I know that he cares deeply about Light. He wants to prove Light's innocence so badly but he can't let go of the underlying doubt that he might really be Kira and it gnaws at him. He does not know that from the very beginning he was being used by Light, whether it was to obtain information about the investigation, or to get to L, or to strengthen the foundations of his own lie that he wasn't Kira, this entire time he was simply another resource. He'll hang onto this doubt for years, even after L is dead, even if he doesn't express it in the latter half of the series, until he himself is on his deathbed, with what he believes to be undeniable proof that Light isn't Kira. (It's a lie, of course.) He dies happy, but it's on the foundations of blissful ignorance. His own son brought him here, brought him to the point where he had to sacrifice half of his own remaining life span, to his own death march, and was still trying to use him even now to kill someone else, but he doesn't know that. Soichiro said that what was evil was the power to kill others, and that whoever used it was cursed. Light was that cursed man, of course, and he tried to bring that curse onto Soichiro too by making him kill in his last moments. Soichiro was happy regardless, because he didn't know. He'll never know. (In the manga/anime at least. More on that later).

Light loves his father but it's not enough to turn him away from the terrible decisions he's made, if anything it only fuels them. His idea of "justice" is a twisted model of what he parroted from Soichiro, and he uses his father as another pawn (and a powerful one at that) in his plans. If he can prove that Kira is justice then perhaps his father will no longer call Kira, and therefore Light, evil, so he just needs to ensure that Kira becomes justice, right? It's Light's own actions that land his own father in the hospital for a stress-induced heart attack and yet he says only a few minutes later that he's the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. Even after Soichiro denounces Kira by calling him evil, even after he calls the Death Note's power evil, even after he unknowingly tells Light that he is cursed. When Soichiro dies Light is too deep in his own plans to actually properly process the fact that his own father is dying past what it means for his goals, but at the same time he still cares enough that after the fact he'll genuinely cry, only to brush it all away later. (Personally, I don't have a single doubt in my mind that Light's crying in that scene was genuine and I Will die on this hill). Soichiro had unknowingly denounced Light one last time just before his death, openly relieved that he "wasn't Kira after all", which also reveals that he has had doubts about Light this entire time, even after L died. By the time he's caught at the Yellow Box Warehouse Light will have denounced his father too, seeing him as someone who was made to be a fool, someone who was naive, even, too earnest for his own good. He won't realize that part of this description of his father might have applied to Light himself, back when this all started. Light takes after his father so much in so many ways already, so why not in this way too?

Ough. And honestly the other adaptations never miss out on this tragedy either, and I love them for that. (spoilers for the musical and 2006 live action movies I guess?)

In the musical we see Soichiro express his doubts and conflicts about who to believe, Light or L, if the son he raised really is a murderer, if everything he knows about him is just a lie. Like, there's an entire song about this, and you can tell how torn he is about it all, how badly he wants Light to be innocent but about how he also needs to face the truth no matter what it is, but at the end of it all he doesn't even get the answers he wants. At the end of the musical the only thing he finds is two corpses, Light's and L's, with no answers. No last words, no closure, only dead ends and a dead son and a grieving daughter. It's so awful I hate it here.

And the live action movie is fucking Insane. Like, wow. Okay. (Spoiler for the ending of Death Note The Last Name I guess) In the 2006 movies/novels Light writes Soichiro's name in the Death Note himself, and it's such an inconcievable move that it leaves even Misa shocked; Light tries to make Soichiro give him the Death Note for the last part of his plans, seeing his death as a "necessary sacrifice" (insert tangent essay about why I think 2006 live action movie Light is actually the most "coldhearted" Light Yagami, despite how infamous anime Light is). It doesn't work, and Soichiro does end up finding out that Light is Kira this time, and they have a confrontation, but he doesn't even sound truly hateful towards Light for it. He Never seems to outright hate Light for it, even after Light calls the whole confrontation a waste of time and instead tries to continue killing with the piece of the notebook in his watch, even after he tries to get Ryuk to kill everyone. When Ryuk inevitably writes Light's name and he collapses, Soichiro still reaches out for him and holds onto him as he's dying. Light literally dies in Soichiro's arms, still looking for the validation that he was right, that this wasn't all for nothing, that he was doing the good thing, trying to make Soichiro understand that he was trying to enact justice based on what he learned from him in the first place. Soichiro not only learns but sees for himself what his son has become, and Light dies in his arms leaving no closure for either of them. Soichiro will announce Light's death in L Change the WorLd on the news without saying his name, saying instead that it is only Kira who is dead, even though he and Light are one in the same. Sachiko and Sayu will never get to know the full truth about what happened to Light, instead Soichiro will lie and instead tell them: "Light was killed by Kira."

And then holy Shit the jdrama. If I write about it here this post is gonna literally double in length and also I don't really wanna spoil it but. Man. Man. If you watched it you know. Holy Shit dude I Cried.

It's the fact that, canonically, Soichiro will die oblivious to what Light has done, but even in the instances where he does find out, it doesn't make it any better, and it doesn't make him love Light any less, it just gives him more to grieve.

It's the fact that there isn't a single universe where Light doesn't use his father for his own gain, whether to gain information, or to try and control him with the Death Note, or make him write in the Death Note himself, and not a single time will he realize just how far he's strayed from Soichiro's ideals, and not a single time will he not forsake him for it by the end of the story.

It's the fact that, despite everything, Light will always refers to Soichiro as "dad/my dad" (informal) rather than "father/my father", even after he has been "denounced" (and this is true in every language that Death Note has been translated in, as far as I could find. Man, isn't that so cool! :) <- Through tears).

Anyways that's what I've been thinking of how's your guys' days going

[paper-mario-wiki]

you do such a good job passing! any tips?

thank you, i appreciate that! i dont have a ton of tips since ive only been at it for a little over half a year, and im kinda flying by the seat of my pants cuz i dont have a lot of people i talk to day-to-day about presentation. pretty much everything ive figured out by myself and with youtube tutorials. regardless, heres a few i can think of:

don't be afraid to go to a makeup store and ask for advice. i brought a picture of myself i put through faceapp to give me makeup, and i showed it to the ladies at sephora, who were able to get me exactly what i was looking for. theres a world of difference between a face full of makeup, and a face full of makeup that's slightly the wrong shade, and it's good to get the opinions of experts.

try to look at the other women in your family and see how they style themselves, or do their makeup, or even how they speak or carry themselves. finding a look that works isn't somethin that you can fall into super easily, you have to go searching for it. try to model yours after the people who literally share your genes and therefore your features. (note, the opposite is equally usable for transmascs, look at your brothers, fathers, and uncles)

spend time in the mirror seeing what looks right. comb your hair in different directions, part it in a different place, put a clip in, dye it a different color, etc. put on makeup and then take it all off, then put on way too much and only take half of it off. learn the muscle memory of holding a liquid eyeliner pen in your non dominant hand and tracing it across the eyelid on the opposite side of your face without twitching your eye. nobody will see you, you're in your own bathroom. with the resources you have, treat the Bathroom Fit Check like you're customizing a character in a videogame.

look for your angles! i wish i could look good at every angle, but i don't, and vanishingly few people actually do. i spent a lot of time looking at myself in my front-facing phone camera from different directions and thinking "fuck im never going to pass, i really dont look great. is this even worth it?" and no matter how much doubt i had, in the long run the answer ended up being yes, it is worth it. that's kinda how hard things are: they suck until they don't anymore.

this one is really simple and may not apply to you, but fix your posture. seriously. when i started standing up straight for a few weeks i noticed an change in how i looked and carried myself (and my back doesnt hurt as much now)

come to terms with the fact that a lot of women look like men, and a lot of men look like women. the idea that all men look one way and all women look the other is an propagandstic invention of the state that should not be taken seriously. (note: this tip works only inwardly as a facet of self actualization. no matter what, you will always run into people who buy into the propaganda. to the best of your ability, pay them no mind.)

im sorry i cant give you anything more, but thats kind of a big question to answer, so i hope this helps!

[oraclekleo]

[Pick-a-Pile] What major changes are coming your way + What do those changes possibly bring into your life

Hello and welcome to one more Pick-A-Pile tarot reading from your Kleo!

This time we shall see what kind of changes are awaiting you in the near future and what kind of an effect they could possibly have on you.

This is a general reading, which means that not all information has to resonate with you, some details are meant for somebody else.

Below, you will pick from three piles. If you are struggling with intuitively picking one, maybe this reading isn’t for you at all at this moment. Maybe major changes aren’t about to happen for you just yet. You can come back later to see whether you actually feel drawn to one of the piles, if that’s your case.

Please, be assured that tarot isn't an exact science. I can never ever guarantee anything that's said in my readings, their purpose is of a solely entertainment nature.

Please, do not base your life decisions on tarot readings, always use your common sense.

Even if your reading says something, it doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen. Once you received the reading, you were warned, you have your life in your hands and you can actively stir away from the events you deem unwanted. Tarot isn’t a dogma. You always have free will.

Also… This reading might be a bit triggering as changes aren’t always pleasant. You are not babies, if you feel uncomfortable reading the text below, just stop reading. Please, don’t come to me with petty complaints about how I should properly list trigger warnings. I’m not your mom and you’re not 5. 😂

With this out of the way, let’s dive into this, shall we?

What major changes are coming your way? + What do those changes possibly bring into your life?

Pile 1 -> Pile 2 -> Pile 3

Pick your pile, please!

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Pile 1 - What major changes are coming your way

Cards: Fehu (Runes Oracle), 37. Descendant - Invitation (Starcodes Astro Oracle), 7 of Pentacles, 7 of Wands, 2 of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles, Knight of Swords, 8 of Cups (The Light Seer’s Tarot)

Dear Pile 1, you are likely to face fast changes affecting all the facets of your life. You might need to let go of something, be it a belief, a person or a thing. It can’t stay a part of your life, it needs to free the space for a new energy approaching. Maybe you have been overly guarded, keeping others at distance, maybe you saw them as extension of yourself and instead of learning important skills from them, you used them to do the job for you. Now when they leave, there go your resources. It’s time to let the shield down a bit and instead of relying on others providing you with something, tend the seeds of skills and abilities within yourself. Don’t ask people to do something for you only because they have the skill. Learn the skills from them, harbour your curiosity and start building something solid that will serve you well in future.

The change coming your way, Pile 1, is an eye-opening one. You are likely to realise some of your limiting beliefs about yourself and your life. The clarity of mind comes fast, might be shocking and even a little painful but it’s gonna serve the purpose. You need this experience, you need this sense of shock running down your spine in order to move forward, to invite more powerful energy into your life. You can’t be dependent on others forever. You can’t rely on them always being there for you. You need to stand on your own feet, build your own confidence and self-esteem, you need to organise your life and make those first steps towards a brighter future. You need to walk your authentic path even if you are going to be the only one walking it.

Pile 1 - What do those changes possibly bring into your life

Cards: Gebo (Runes Oracle), 50. 12th House - Introspection (Starcodes Astro Oracle), 9 of Cups, XXI The World, Ace of Swords, XIX The Sun, King of Cups, King of Pentacles (The Light Seer’s Tarot)

The changes happening will bring more clarity into your life. You finally can see the truth about yourself, others, the world around you. You are no longer affected by other people’s perspectives, you are in a sense freedom. Gaining freedom and liberty through this kind of awakening is likely to bring more happiness, fulfilment and stability into your life. Once you realise that all those sometimes painful changes are actually blessings in disguise, your wishes are coming true for you, you are gaining that emotional balance and stability you always craved, you can feel both grounded and able to spread your wings and fly the direction you always wished to go. As much of a paradox, suddenly you are able to step outside of your comfort zones while remaining comfortable about it. You are experiencing happiness and a feeling of wholeness on your own. You don’t need anybody to complete you, you are the one and whole piece of amazing creature. And this allows you to actually attract the good people into your life. You are able to give freely without expecting anything in return which actually brings more abundance to your life. Suddenly you are giving so much but receiving even more. You feel genuine and mutually enriching connections with people in your life. And you are able to look within your soul without shame and identify whatever is still there that needs to be healed or worked on. It’s no longer a dreadful journey through a haunted house of your soul, it’s a walk through a garden that still needs to be nurtured and maintained but is blossoming.

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Pile 2 - What major changes are coming your way

Cards: Hagalaz (Runes Oracle), Success (Prism Oracle), 6 of Cups, 6 of Pentacles, 3 of Swords, Ace of Cups, 8 of Swords, 8 of Wands (Tarot of the Divine)

Dear Pile 2, the changes approaching you are likely to have quite a destructive nature. Good news is that what they destroy is something that was tormenting you and keeping you stuck. Something that used to cause you pain, harm you in some way, binding you and making you feel imprisoned, is about to be swiftly destroyed and banished from your life. You are likely to drop something truly toxic. Remember that the path towards freedom from this misery leads through compassion and emotional healing. Maybe you are not the only one suffering from this issue. Find your tribe, seek help from those who have experience and education. If you are suffering mentally or emotionally, consider therapy. If your burden is of physical nature, stop postponing the doctor appointment and gather the courage to face the true nature of your issues.

Always remember that you’re not alone! There are people who love you and will happily assist you on your path towards healing and moving away from the toxic past. Trust your close ones, people who were there for you through difficult times. You are not meant to do all the work on your own. Universe will send you guides and advisors to help you with the transition. Don’t push them away and welcome them with open arms and heart. You have the capacity to love. You will be rewarded with success and new self-esteem.

Pile 2 - What do those changes possibly bring into your life

Cards: Raido (Runes Oracle), Determination (Prism Oracle), XI Justice, Ace of Swords, Ace of Wands, 10 of Pentacles, 10 of Wands, 4 of Wands (Tarot of the Divine)

Once you undergo the necessary changes, you are likely to achieve more balance and sense of pride. Being proud of your own accomplishments isn’t a sin, especially when you have worked hard to reach that top of the mountain. Sometimes it might feel like you are never going to stand on the top of the hill but don’t lose hope. Life is never easy but that’s what makes it worth living. You learned through the changes, that you don’t have to do everything alone, that you can actually ask for help when you need it and avoid burnout. Your soul family will give you gentle push when you are tired climbing up, they will inspire you when encountering obstacles, they will brainstorm with you and help you reach mental clarity so you can just cut through some of the complex problems with one swift solution. Your journey doesn’t end once you undergo the changes, it starts there. It might be a real physical journey if you want to move or travel, or it can be a metaphorical journey of your spirit. Be authentic and carry only truth in your heart. Deception will only lead you astray. It’s better to be honest and sometimes make others uncomfortable than to tell white lies and potentially harvest bad karma. Your goals are within your reach but you will never get there cheating. You will only be able to celebrate your success if you remain true to your values and ideals.

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Pile 3 - What major changes are coming your way

Cards: Sowelo (Runes Oracle), 7. Message (Fin de Siècle Kipper), IX The Hermit, 0 The Fool, Knight of Cups, III The Empress, XVI The Tower, 2 of Cups (The Tarot of Vampyres)

Congratulations, dear Pile 3, you have chosen the scariest Tower card pile only to land on a reading that’s actually the most lovely one, quite literally! The period of hermiting is at its end, dear Pile 3 and I’m sorry to inform you that you are about to be rescued from your metaphorical tower, the walls you have build around your heart and soul are about to be torn down and you will have to accept a new faith, embark on a new exciting path full of meaningful connections. Those are not necessarily only romantic ones but there are both the Knight of Cups and 2 of Cups so the romance is strongly suggested for some of you. This might be both scary and exciting at first, maybe you are not used to being admired or in a way courted (yes, I know people don’t court each other anymore but I think it would be nice if we brought that back, at least to a certain degree). The changes happening are likely to start within yourself. You are likely to feel more yourself, more beautiful in your own eyes and this aura of inner beauty will radiate from every cell of your body and attract suitors like candle flame attracts moths. Make sure to treat them with respect and don’t burn them even when you’re not interested!

Pile 3, your transformation from a lone wolf into a loving, nurturing and welcoming person might come as a shock to many but don’t be afraid. It’s likely to be a pleasant surprise. You are likely to receive good news, maybe start a communication with someone you really vibe with, maybe you are already in contact with them and the change will lead towards deepening your relationship or its transformation from platonic into romantic relationship. You don’t need your knight to rescue you, you can do it on your own but shall you wish for it, you can find your knight once you are out of your metaphorical tower. Seize the day and when you are presented with an opportunity, take it! Be brave! Believe in yourself! You are blossoming into a beautiful creature through and through. Embrace the change, accept it with your whole heart. Be ready to be loved for the amazing person you are.

Pile 3 - What do those changes possibly bring into your life

Cards: Jera (Runes Oracle), 15. Lovers (Fin de Siècle Kipper), 10 of Cups, 4 of Swords, 10 of Swords, VI The Lovers, IV The Emperor, 6 of Swords (The Tarot of Vampyres)

The indication of a romantic relationship is even stronger now as you actually have two Lovers cards. You lucky Pile 3! Now when all your blossoming and escaping from the cold and lonely murals of your metaphorical tower happened, you shall enjoy the fruits of your efforts. It’s time for you to stop trying hard, go with the flow, enjoy the ride that is this lovely connection, be it harmonious union of friends or a match made in heaven. The pain of the past can be finally fully healed and forgotten. You are in charge of your life now. You are moving away from hurting and paining over the past and gaining power over your life. The wheel is turning and it’s showing you its bright and fortunate side. You can fully enjoy the bliss of emotional balance and happiness. Love is not happening for you, you are actively and consciously choosing it for yourself. Stepping out of the shadows, shining brightly, shading the old skin that has become uncomfortable for you. You are in love! With yourself, with your community, with the world around you!

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And this is the end! I hope you enjoyed the reading and I will be so grateful for any kind of a feedback! Especially for comments and messages in my inbox or DMs! I always love to hear from you, guys!

As usual for me, I have included the cards I pulled. Which card grasped your attention? You know it's also significant! Which card made you feel uneasy perhaps? Share your impressions!

Find more of my general readings here: Pick-A-Pile (PAC) Masterlist

Don't forget that my paid readings are open and you can always ask follow up questions to this reading! Paid Readings Special Offer

See you next time with one of my tiny games!

[inaconstantstateofchange]

Halsin and Silvanus

In the course of my recent research on Bane for a lore request fill, I found myself coming across a lot of very interesting information, previously unknown to me, about the other gods of the Forgotten Realms — in particular Silvanus. There was enough there that it inspired me to direct some extra research hours into this writeup, exploring all the reasons why Halsin is a quintessential Silvanite.

If you would like any more information on anything included here, please feel free to drop a comment or an ask, as there is truly so much that I just don’t have the space to include. (I usually end up with about 12-13 pages of source quotes before I begin one of these meta posts.)

My usual note that, as ever, these writeups will align with current 5e lore, and draw from 3.5e for additional supporting information. On rarer occasions – and always noted – I will reference 1e and 2e, but with the caveats that there is much more in those editions that is tonally dissonant with the modern conception of the Forgotten Realms, and thus generally less applicable.

Silvanus is easily one of the most misunderstood gods of the Faerûnian pantheon. This is even pointed out directly within his section of the 3.5e Faiths & Pantheons (an incredible resource if you are looking for more detailed information on the gods of the Forgotten Realms!): 

Nevertheless, most outsiders view the church of Chauntea, as patrons of agriculture, as being favorably inclined toward the expansion of civilization, while the church of Silvanus is the implacable foe of those who would settle new lands. Neither impression is correct, yet the church of the Oak Father is often perceived as little different from those faiths that venerate the Deities of Fury.¹ [emphasis added]

Silvanus is most often perceived as strictly and impassively neutral, and intrinsically opposed to civilization in all its forms. While the former is something close to true – he is a very neutral-aligned deity, albeit not necessarily in a way that matches the popular conception of the term – the latter is certainly not. Humanity (if you’ll forgive the use of the term to designate in broad strokes the non-animal denizens of the Material Plane) is another facet of nature, one given equal consideration to the rest – plant, animal, and other – by Silvanus.²

While as a whole followers of Silvanus have a preference for the wilds and the deep forests, this is by no means a concrete rule. In fact, Silvanite clergy – those known as druids – are not uncommonly found in enclaves in larger cities of the Sword Coast and beyond, including Waterdeep.² Typically these druids will “create gardenlike walled areas of wild forest within the city limits.”¹ Wherever they may find themselves, Silvanite druids work to maintain the Balance of nature around them, through education and direct action both. 

Silvanus’s dogma has much to tell us about his philosophy, and that of his followers. I’ll be splitting notable excerpts and their relation to Halsin into sections below. 

Hold your distance and take in the total situation, rather than latching on to the popular idea of what is best.¹ 

Halsin was, from the first moment I met him in-game, so notable for his calm self-possession, and the clear forethought he gave to his actions and those of others. He does not feel bound by the expectations or approval of others – as noted in the dialogue he shares with the player if they compliment his choice of successor – but instead makes his own path following the direction of Silvanus’s wisdom and will. 

Resort to violence and open confrontation only when pressured by time or hostile action.¹

This is showcased numerous times throughout the game, but perhaps best evidenced by an in-game note, from an unlikely source: the Priestess Gut. The note that you can find from her, regarding Halsin’s capture, notes the following: 

Said he thinks there's somethin' rotten inside us. Inside me. Reckons he can help get rid of the rot. I told him we don't need any help from nobody. Never did. And especially not now the Absolute's taken a shine to us.³

Despite the immediacy of his capture at their hands, and the preceding attack already lodged against himself and Nettie⁴, Halsin’s primary impulse is to attempt diplomacy, and render aid. This only changes when his length of captivity has made it clear that there will be no changing the minds of the cultists, and they must be dissuaded by stronger means.

Banish disease wherever you find it¹

The way Halsin is first introduced to the player is as a healer – and not just any healer, but a masterful one, known throughout the region, who has the best chance of being able to assist with any manner of strange ailment. It is clear in all ways, as well as in the scenario referenced in the preceding section, that this is an aspect of Silvanus that Halsin strives to embody at all times. 

Seek out, serve, and befriend the dryads and learn their names.¹

Particularly if we understand the reference to dryads here to extend to all fey spirits of nature, this gives new depth to Halsin’s friendship and devotion to the nature spirit Thaniel. Halsin, as a druid generally, and as an Archdruid in particular, would have a solemn and divinely-ordained responsibility to redress the upheaval of the Balance within the Shadowcursed lands. For that reason alone, it is no surprise that it was his primary motivation and consideration for nigh on a century. 

However, even above and beyond that, Halsin had an additional motivator. Even before he became a druid, potentially before he was exposed to the teachings of Silvanus in anything but the most vague and general of terms, he was living them out by befriending the local nature spirit, learning his name, and seeking to understand, serve, and protect him. 

Make others see the balance and work against those that would disturb it. Watch, anticipate, and quietly manipulate.¹

The primary source text I am using to draw this connection was written neither by nor about Halsin, yet I believe it still clearly reflects on him, for reasons that will become clear. This text is from a logbook recording activities of the Emerald Grove during the year 1371, 121 years prior to the start of the game’s storyline, and some years before the defining events in the soon-to-be Shadowcursed Lands. 

6 Uktar: Sent two druids, some of the newer recruits, up north. Village there has had two years of failed crops and are unlikely to survive the next winter. 9 Uktar: A group from Baldur's Gate arrived. They've set up camp on the edge of the forest. Two bears and a fox came by. Their territory has been burned out. Half the fox's cubs died. Paying this new group a visit tomorrow. 10 Uktar: Visit did not go well. After telling me where to shove it, they said they'd cut down half the forest and burn out any wildlife that dared to stick around. Claimed they were going to 'farm the land and make a new city of their own.' Time to get creative. 12 Uktar: Mudslide did the trick. Buried half their farming equipment and made the rest useless. They won't be back any time soon. Got reports of a Red Wizard in the village south of here. Sending three rangers to investigate. If they catch even a whiff of a red cloak, I'm contacting the House of Silvanus.⁵

Given the timeline, while this is unlikely to have been written by Halsin himself, it seems like a strong possibility that it was written by his master, the previous Archdruid of the Emerald Grove, who perished in the fight against Ketheric Thorm. This is supported by the clear evidence that the author was an individual in a position to give direction and command to those around them, and to make the call for how to deal with various situations. Given too what we know of the druidic leadership structure, Halsin would have been the previous Archdruid’s Second, as Kagha was his.⁶ 

This man, then, would have greatly influenced Halsin as a druid of Silvanus and as a leader both. We can presume that this watchful duty and deliberation was one that Halsin himself took over, charged with doing his part to maintain the Balance of the region around the grove.  This last point especially becomes even more significant in light of the following information, which comes not from Silvanus’s dogma, but rather from a description of his followers and traditions of worship: 

Members of the clergy work to redirect development and control populations through covert sponsorship of brigands, breeding and selective placing of predators, and other means. It is essential that such work be as secretive as possible, so that most folk view the servants of Silvanus as essentially benign lovers of trees. Wildlife breeding, nursing sick animals, and replanting trees and wild shrubs are all work that should be done as publicly as possible to support this perception – and as necessary work to redress the slipping Balance, of course.¹ [emphasis added]

It is clear from all preceding evidence, and this excerpt in particular, that the druids as a whole put far more thought and strategy into every aspect of their appearance and the perception of them than they would ever want outsiders to become aware of. Halsin himself corroborates this in-game, noting that, while druids might not like politicking, that certainly does not mean they haven’t the skill for it when called upon. 

For the sake of… well. (I have been advised by my legal counsel not to use “brevity” here.) Regardless! For the sake of my sanity and your time, I will refrain from going into further detail on specific instances that show this to be true of Halsin. I will merely encourage you, the reader, to consider the value this brings to his character and druids as a whole, and hope to encourage new appreciation for their refreshing complexity. 

In closing, I leave you with one final quote: 

Superior patience, natural knowledge, and anticipation are the hallmarks of a worthy servant of Silvanus.¹

¹ Faiths and Pantheons. 2002. p. 63.

² Dragon Magazine #412. June 2012. pp. 22-3.

³ Rancid Note. In-Game Text. 

⁴ Halsin’s Journal, Vol I. In-Game Text. 

⁵ Logbook XII: 1371. In-Game Text. 

⁶ Grove Annals. In-Game Text.

[juju-or-anya]

Every time someone says “Eloise isn’t a real feminist at least Penelope did something” I have to laugh. They are making her out to be Lois Lane when she runs a gossip column. Her feminist action is only for her. She found a way profit of the status quo thats it. Gossip isn’t feminist just because its associated with women. Gossip is how we enforce societal expectations by publicly shaming people and reminding others they can always be shamed. The idea that Penelope is a “better” feminist than Eloise is silly. Im not saying Eloise is a perfect feminist of course she isn’t she is sheltered and had to bribe a maid to learn about sex. No one that sheltered will have fully formed feminist theory or activism. But to say Penelope is a good feminist for her individualist actions is wild.

It's essential to recognize that no woman is a perfect feminist because there is no such thing as a perfect, uniform feminism. Feminism and deconstruction are personal and unique processes that each woman undergoes at her own pace, in her own way, with the information and resources available to her. Feminism is both a social and individual construct, with many facets and branches that reflect the cultural, social, and individual diversity of the women who embrace it.

For example, a high-class, white, Christian, English woman will have a different experience of feminism than a mixed-race, Latina, lower-middle-class woman in Argentina. Each positions herself on a branch of feminism that best represents her context and experiences.

With this framework in mind, my perception of Penelope as a feminist is deeply questionable. Despite founding a lucrative business without a man's help, Penelope did so at the expense of other women, which contradicts fundamental feminist principles. She does not practice sisterhood; she views other women as competitors or tools, as seen in her perception of Marina as a rival and Madame Delacroix as a means to an end. Simply being a woman and self-sustaining does not make her a feminist, as exemplified by Margaret Thatcher. Although Thatcher broke many gender barriers by becoming the first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, her conservative policies and lack of support for other women in politics were criticized for not aligning with feminist ideals.

Penelope Featherington presents herself as a woman who has defied social expectations by creating Lady Whistledown, but her practice of undermining other women to elevate herself and profit from it is inconsistent with feminist principles. By using her platform to spread gossip and undermine other women's reputations, Penelope perpetuates a culture of competition and surveillance among women instead of promoting solidarity and mutual support. This behavior is the antithesis of feminism, which seeks to empower all women and fight against the structures of oppression that divide us.

In contrast, Eloise Bridgerton cannot be directly labeled as a feminist, especially considering the historical context of 1815 when feminism as we know it did not yet exist. The first wave of feminism in the United Kingdom began between 1830 and 1840. However, as early as 1792, women like Eloise were starting to question traditional gender roles, laying the groundwork for the future feminist movement.

Eloise represents those early women who, without calling themselves feminists, began to entertain feminist ideas. If we placed Eloise in 1830, we could consider her one of the first feminists, perhaps even actively participating in protests. Eloise seeks to break out of her privileged bubble, learn about the world's realities, and advocate for minority rights, despite the limitations imposed by her time and social position. She is a young woman from a prestigious family, close to royalty, and her quest for freedom is hindered by her family's and society's expectations. Deciding to be a spinster is a radical statement in her context, a direct rejection of social norms dictating that women must marry and be compliant.

Eloise demonstrates a critical attitude towards established norms and a genuine curiosity to understand and challenge the injustices faced by women and minorities. She does not just seek her own benefit but is interested in the well-being of other women and the fight for meaningful societal change. While she cannot be categorized as a feminist in the modern sense, her questioning spirit and desire to break with oppressive traditions align her more with feminist principles than Penelope's actions.

On the other hand, Penelope shows no interest in learning about or advocating for minorities. She wants to belong to and benefit from the privileged social circle, seeking validation and acceptance from high society. To achieve this, she created Lady Whistledown, using rumors and secrets about other women to gain control and monetary gains, demonstrating a competitive and utilitarian view of women. Instead of using her influence to promote equity and support among women, Penelope chooses to manipulate and exploit other women's vulnerabilities for her own benefit.

The lack of sisterhood and the exploitation of other women to gain power and personal profit is profoundly problematic and antithetical to feminism. In her quest for validation and status, Penelope perpetuates a culture of division and distrust among women, something that feminism works hard to dismantle.

For all these reasons, it is absurd and offensive to claim that Penelope is more feminist than Eloise. Eloise, with her desire to challenge norms and learn about injustices, embodies the spirit of feminism much more than Penelope, whose behavior undermines the movement's fundamental principles. The true essence of feminism lies in solidarity, mutual support, and the collective struggle for equity and justice for all women, not in personal gain at the expense of others.

Setting aside the beautiful and very professional text I wrote, Penelope epitomizes the white, privileged woman who plays the victim and believes that because she has suffered, she has the right to make others suffer. Instead of confronting those who truly harmed her, she targets those who have done nothing to her. Her envy of the Bridgertons is so deep that she wants to be like them but also wants to hurt them. This is evident from her comment, "You're just a pretty Bridgerton," and her other remark, "At least I did something; you just talk."

Excuse me, Penelope, but at least Eloise talks to minorities as equals, not as if they were her servants.

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Late night angsty thoughts...hitting very hardd

So, I wonder if Ajax and Legacy weren't basically two parts of a whole and were instead each in their own body....

(This is assuming Ajax is your partner, and Legacy came after since, in my mind him and the reader are childhood friends. Also, I'm an Ajax kisser, I'm SORRY 😞)

Would Ajax still be ok with sharing his partner then? I mean, right now, it's not like he has any other choice but what if he did? Also, are legacy's feelings for the reader all his own or are they kind of influenced by Ajax in a way?

LIKE, right now, they're a part of one whole being but would they still be happy sharing reader if they could choose not to?

Might be angsty I'm very sorry to all my softhearted peers (it's me, I'm softhearted peers)

ANYWAY Sorry for the sads this might cause ily Wifi <3

*eats this in one bite* y'all know i love my angst ehe i love you too anon <3

Ajax's biggest fear used to be showing you Foul Legacy. how would you react? would you be scared? Tsaritsa's name, he hopes not- you've been friends almost all your life, he doesn't want to lose you. he faced that fear, once he was brave enough. showed you his Abyssal half and all the strength and destruction that came with it. to his relief, you adored Foul Legacy, and the monster loved you right back, a hidden softness slowly revealed in the light. you pet and praise and shower Legacy in affection, just as you do for Ajax, and he purrs and croons and snuggles right up to you just the same, and now Ajax fears, again. perhaps you love Foul Legacy more than you love him, even more so now that they have two different bodies. maybe all his efforts will go to waste

Foul Legacy and Ajax are facets, see. they're similar and different at the same time- Ajax is boisterous, charming, even a little bit smug. Legacy is sweet, clingy, extremely careful in his movements around you. they both can be vicious, but not to you. never to you. Ajax told Foul Legacy about you, during the months- or perhaps days, from what his parents say- he spent in the Abyss. the thought of you was one of the few things that kept him fighting and kept Legacy curious, eager to see this human his host had spoken so highly of. his monstrous heart melted when you fussed over Ajax upon his return, a rumbling purr kicking up in the ginger's head, only growing once he finally had his own form that he could stay in at all times

you love Ajax and Foul Legacy, and they love you. Legacy even cherishes Ajax, often pulling him into hugs or cuddles so you can squeeze the Harbinger tight. and he knows in those moments that you love him dearly, that your affection isn't a limited resource. he still gets moments with just you, when Legacy is tired or out hunting or you're going shopping for the week. you grip around his waist tightens, and Ajax softens and leans into your embrace, lacing his fingers with yours as Legacy purrs and pats your hair. there will never be a shortage of love to give, not from you, and maybe he's begun to appreciate his Abyssal counterpart more than just a weapon, too

[river-in-the-woods]

i have a similar situation - i'm struggling to make my own correspondences, and i'm trying to draw from my pagan practices as well as my ancestral asian practice. i'm having a bit of difficulty with systematically going through a small dictionary, but maybe this can provide some ideas (and of course, if you have any critiques, i'm totally open to that as well!)

I usually just pick up any reference book and choose whatever I like the sound of and can get my hands on. I have a copy of The Encyclopedia of Natural Magic by J.M. Greer which I use a lot because it has minimal tangential waffle and is neatly laid out. I like Llewellyn's Charms, Spells and Formulas for the same reason.

For culturally relevant things, I like chinasage which has a symbol index of various flora and fauna. I'm not aware of similar resources for other parts of East Asia, apologies.

While I do think that different materials are endowed with particular virtues, I also think this is another area of magic where people get a little obsessed with categorisation.

It's not like Pokemon where lavender has +10 sleep magic points and chamomile has +12, or roses are exclusively for love and attraction and black pepper is only for cursing and banishing, and so on... It's a little more like cooking where there are many possibilities of creating a satisfying meal and yet it still depends on the individual tastes of who's partaking in it.

Cypress, yew and asphodel are strongly associated with the underworld; mugwort and wormwood are associated with night-time and dreams, but these plants will still die without the light of day. Sunflowers and oranges are very solar, but they still have roots that reach into the earth to anchor them. Chilli peppers are incredibly fiery, but they still die without water. Yarrow is for youth, love and beauty, except when you're allergic to it.

Every herb is a herb for protection, and wealth, and attraction, and fertility, and banishing – and so on, because every plant has its own strategy to survive, thrive and proliferate.

(And that's just plants, not even touching on the properties of minerals, animals, elements, colours and so on.)

They do have their specialisations, yes, and I wouldn't use mint to call on the element of fire, nor would I use coffee beans in a sleep spell... What I'm trying to say is: they're all multi-faceted, so set aside the reference books now and then, and just observe and make connections intuitively.

Reference books might tell you that basil or cinnamon or citrus (or whatever) have wealth-drawing properties.

But grass, plain old common grass, completely dominates the greenery of the earth. Crops like rice, wheat, barley and corn are staple foods that support the world's population. And dandelions, with their solar and ouranic qualities and how quickly they proliferate across an open field, are oft overlooked.

These never get listed in books, yet their literal and symbolic powers are undeniable.

Put these – grass seeds, rice grains and dandelion seeds – into a wealth working with a simple prayer. "Bless me with as much wealth as there are blades of grass on this earth, as there are grains of rice that sustain humanity, as there are dandelion seeds that fill the air in spring."

Correspondences are only part of what makes magic work. There's also your own ability and experience, the spirits you call and the relationship you have with them... I strongly favour the relationship part because reference books become less and less important, when you can just ask and the spirits will tell you what to use. Or even better when you don't have to do a spell at all, because you have spirits to take care of it in exchange for some cake.

It took me a long time to open myself up to receiving that kind of inspiration, but... honestly, don't overthink it. You know a lot of correspondences already because you interact with the world every day.

Good luck 🌿

[boundinparchment]

I love your personality for dottore’s character! I like how he demonstrates his intelligence in a way that is not overbearing and cocky and how his actions have deep meanings behind them and not just for his satisfaction like most interpretations. how do you go about making such a character? Is it from purely your own perspective or is it influenced by other characters,books,philosophy concepts or any other piece of media?

Hi!

Some of his character is a personal interpretation but it’s based on a foundation from several other analyses and canon material that we have from the game.

Namely, some of the following Reddit threads:

Sadist or Scientist?

Dottore as a Villain and Sumeru’s Dysfunction

The Heresies of Il Dottore

There’s also a very long thread in this sub that’s living rent free

Along with the manga where we get a few crumbs for Celestia lore/Dottore’s perspective on allogenes, the Archon quest voicelines and Scara’s character quest, and Zandik’s notes found in the overworld.

@/ellalalala and localplaguenurse and haeresysabound also have their own analyses that prove really helpful and look at different facets of his character.

Most of it is a logical progression of how someone like him would think. He’s rational, observed before he acts, and doesn’t so much predict as follow the logic behind someone’s previous patterns of behavior. He’s arrogant to a fault but it’s posturing; a lot of people display that kind of behavior in the real world.

Most of the time, I start with a situation and, based on all of the above, I play, “what would Dottore do?”

He’s ultimately insatiably curious, chasing knowledge for the sake of it, just to see what happens.

Machines help him to understand the world and his interpretation of it. It goes to show how detached he is to consider a human body is nothing but a machine of its own, capable of surpassing the divine.

He’s more human than anyone because he seeks to understand and push the limitations; humans are naturally curious creatures who long to make the world better and leave a legacy behind.

But it’s not chaotic. It’s not The Joker style of curiosity where it’s bombastic and wild, a twisted version of a joke.

I’d argue that Webtorre is The Joker while Omega and in-game Dottore is Scarecrow.

And this is where myself (and others) differ because I do not think Dottore is a sadist. That he wants to harm people. It’s very obvious in several notes that, while not signed, are written in a manner that you know it’s Dottore. There’s one that lists several subjects and he considers the actions taken by a subordinate (I think it’s torturing one of them? Something drastic, will check) to be a waste of resources.

Is he apathetic? More than likely.

Does he enjoy seeing others suffer? Probably not. Why else would he be looking for a cure for Elezar, even as a byproduct to understanding the Withering?

He would probably actually be a failure at relationships precisely because he doesn’t know how to connect with people. If he would want to pursue a meaningful connection, there’s a lot stacked against him between trust issues built up over centuries, a detached worldview, and more than likely, a skewed sense of self (he’s arrogant but to a fault where he’s clearly still sensitive about how no one but himself sees him as a scholar). So many of the meaningful reasonings to his actions stem from this in particular.

My personal suggestions for additional insight would be:

Most renditions of the Scarecrow from Batman. How he sees fear is how I imagine Dottore understands knowledge. The more you have of it, the less you can fear, the better to understand the world around you.

I’ll put more here as they come to mind, because I’m definitely forgetting others at the moment.

[gatheredfates]

Greetings everyone! If you're thinking to yourself 'Wow, it's been a bit since Sea updated the Compendium', you'd be right! I've been (unfortunately) dealing with that demon we call burnout. However, I am determined not to let it win, even if it's capping my own creativity/drive at the moment, which is why I bring you an update to the Compendium. ✨

If you know of any communities I have missed, please reach out to me via my Discord or the Google Form.

However, as of 09/29, the following communities have been added to Sea's Community Compendium for XIV Creatives.

EVENT / COMMUNITY SPACES

The Cursed Carbuncle—The Cursed Carbuncle is a Cabinet of Curiosities & Oddities which sells alchemical reagents, curios, cursed items, intriguing artefacts, luxury objects, occult, rare books, taxidermy & unusual finds.

LORE

How Rare is that Job?—An Unofficial, Opinionated Look At Class/Job Rarity For FFXIV Roleplayers, created by Mis’to Raesthe on the Odin Server.

MISC

Leyla's Gposing Guide—This website is an ongoing comprehensive gpose guide that helps you every step of the way from the vanilla gpose menu to using shaders and posing tools/plugins, complete with screenshots and video guides, as well as pose/edit-along videos. It's also meant to allow many people to submit their own guides and tips.

So You Wanna Start Roleplaying in FFXIV—(Specifically, on Crystal Data Center). But It Sounds Really Scary And You're New And How Does This Even Work Anyway? A FAQ by By Nevivi Nevi/Lenneth Andrew of Balmung.

Have you thought about joining our Tumblr Community? You can find it here!

Want to submit? You can either fill out the google form here or send me an ask with the relevant information!

Is my space suitable for the Compendium? Most of the time, yes! Below the read more is some more information/stipulations. This is all publicly available on the document.

Below are the following things I do not accept on the Compendium:

Personal/Single-Character LFC ads. (Though these get posted to the SEAFLOOR Tumblr Community when I find them!)

Content intended for or can be used for bullying, harassment and OOC gossip. E.g. ‘Secrets’ blogs, receipts, callout posts, etc. This does not include IC tabloid blogs or other ventures used to generate roleplay.

Communities that do not have an RP/writing element (large-scale exempt).

Anything I find personally distasteful or goes against the spirit of this project.

Common-sense rule applies.

I want to put my community on the Compendium but we have an application process. Is this okay?

Yes! Just note somewhere in your application that's a requirement. The only thing that is mandatory for the Compendium is that you must be open to new members or have a public-facing/accessible facet. There's no point advertising a community if no one can join it in some way!

I want to put my Community on the compendium but I only have x number of members —

Also totally okay! People don't start with large communities. Activity is a must but, whether your server has two or two thousand members, if you're looking for new people to join, I'd love to help you find people.

I want to put my community/resource on the Compendium but I worry its too niche?

Okay, and? If your Eorzean Fishing Alliance has four members but you roleplay every second weekend, I still want to know about it. The same goes for resources; if it's relevant to the game, it'll be useful to someone.

How active does a community need to be?

If you find a community has not been active in about two/three months, send me a message and I'll take a look at it. Communities have ebbs and flows, especially event spaces that may take hiatuses depending on member interest/life events. I'm not strict in my implementation provided a space isn't dead. If a link or anything is broken, contact me asap!

I have [insert a question not stated here]?

No drama! Send me an ask or use the #Compendium channel in my Discord!

[sepublic]

So I remember reading this book about indigenous belief systems called The Spell of the Sensuous a while back, as part of a class assignment. At the start is an interesting anecdote by the author in which he recalls a visit to Bali, during which he resided at a local's house. He noticed his wife setting out platters of rice outside for the 'spirits', which disappeared. But then he realized, it wasn't 'spirits' taking the rice, but just ants!

At first he chuckles to himself, silly locals! But then he realizes; The ants ARE the spirits! Not in the sense that they're considered as these abstract, magical beings; But that to the locals, there was no distinction between spirits and all of the mundane animals and other facets of the ecosystem. There is no distinction between the ecosystem and humans either, humans are spirits too, etc.

The author realizes; There's a bunch of ant colonies around the house, but no ants inside the house, so how do the locals deal with them? Pesticide? No, they just set out rice platters, which are closer to the colonies than their homes; Thus, it's more convenient for the ants to take rice from the platters, than go inside the locals' homes.

And it's always enough rice to keep them sated, too; By providing routine offerings to the spirits, the humans have reached a mutual relationship with the ants (just as plants and animals do with one another all the time, we are a part of nature too), where the ants mind the humans' territory, in return for food. It was an enlightening revelation, and I myself wonder if this tactic is viable for my own home! It sounds a lot more sustainable than pesticide, and probably cheaper too.

If you're seeing this post in the tags, you're probably wondering what this has to do with Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. In the eighth arc Jojolion, there's a scene where a fruit farmer explains to the protagonists that rather than tainting his crops with pesticide to protect them from critters, he instead plants a second, sacrificial crop downhill; This crop, which he puts less effort in, is what the critters keep themselves sated on instead. One crop must die so the other may live... so humans could eat them instead.

Shintoism is a common belief system in Japan; Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is a Japanese manga, made by a Japanese mangaka, in Japan for a largely Japanese audience. Shintoism believes in the concept of Kami, which isn't comparable to Gods in say Greek myth; And from my understanding of it, it operates more akin to spirits, like what was mentioned in Bali, with even humans being capable of being considered Kami.

I find it interesting how both ideas are present in different parts of Asia (and probably more places), especially when you consider the Blessings of the Earth theme that Jojolion has. There's definitely an interest in a relationship with the land that's begun in the previous arc Steel Ball Run, which emphasizes land as a major resource; It's a motive for Native American racer Sandman, Dr. Ferdinand rants about paying respects to the land, the Holy Corpse warps the land, etc.

There's also a theme of indigeneity, which involves natives' relationship with the land. The following, ongoing arc is The Jojolands, which also seems concerned with indigeneity in its setting of Hawaii, the Lava Rocks, and the presence of a foreign company; Though I've been behind on a few chapters, so don't bring stuff up from there just yet!

Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan had an arc involving the 'Gods of the Mountain', so it's interesting to see how his own cultural background, obviously, influences his work. In particular, I wonder if the Mechanism that Jodio speaks of is related to the concept of everything being part of an interconnected system, hence things like Flow or Calamity, and the emphasis on Luck as an element.

Luck emphasizes a Cause-Effect system, which is an extension of everything being interconnected, which necessitates a cultivating relationship with the land; You put Good stuff in, you get Good stuff out, and the same goes for Bad things. Hence the concept of Karma, hence Stands like Ticket to Ride or Wonder of U. The Lava Rocks are part of the land and influence luck to bring blessings. I'm very curious to see where Araki is planning to go from here...

[anti-endo-safe-space]

We’re not aggressively anti endo but we just think the whole idea is just kinda stupid. Maybe I just don’t understand it but why would you have dissociated states of self if you had no reason to dissociate? Or are these not dissociated states and just parts of oneself they’re deciding should be recognized as their own people?

Why make a whole community that brushes so closely with a group of people who are trying to heal from issues you don’t have to deal with?

Like at this point most of our system doesn’t really care. But if you’re splitting, you’re dissociating an identity and if you’re dissociating, why would you be dissociating if your brain hadn’t trained itself to do that as a defense mechanism?? Or is that not what’s happening with endos??? I feel like we had some natural inclination for anxiety and dissociation as a child (or at least that’s what the parents said was the case…) but we wouldn’t have gotten to this point if we didn’t experience repeated trauma which made this predisposition become a disorder

Am I just so used to everything stemming from trauma that hearing of people who just randomly have head guys (or have just decided different facets of themselves should be recognized as individual people) and claiming it’s anything comparable to traumagenic systemhood just sounds dumb as hell to me?

This is the first time I’ve really publicly given my thoughts on this because I don’t wanna be mean but I also just can’t take it seriously no matter how hard I try.

From what we've gathered, they say they've just got multiple personalities, sometimes just because, sometimes they "willed it into existence" and sometimes they claim to be born with them

Again, no expert, we don't claim to know that shit but what we do know is they apparently do it so they're "no longer alone". They tend to get pissed if you say somewhere is a traumagenic only due to thr trauma part

They all claim to not have any trauma but have some sort of disorder that lead to this. There's no real sense but

It is dumb, like their "resources" saying it's real is carrd or rentry or that.

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

Writeblr Summoning Circle Intro

Patreon (you can join for free btw)

Ao3

Taglist sign-up

Hello and welcome to my shrine place of power writing blog. I'm Ceph, they/them, and despite the ghostly username I am, in fact, a regular human adult with a job, college homework, skin, blood, etc. Video games, houseplants, and buying books faster than I read them are just a few of my hobbies.

I write different flavors of fantasy mostly, with sprinkles of horror and romance/spice thrown in for pizzazz. If you're interested in...

Vampires, werecreatures, necromancers, merfolk, and/or passive-aggressive poltergeists

Resourceful protagonists in terrible peril who sometimes make choices that change things forever, for better or worse

Lovers becoming enemies becoming forced allies and maybe more in some cases

Themes of solidarity, the myriad facets of love, and people fighting for a better future

Slow burns

Worldbuilding that I definitely don't make up on the fly

Mortals becoming deities and vice versa

Telepathic monsters that could devour your soul -OR- become your best friend

Liminal spaces like roadside diners at 3 a.m

...you might find my WIPs tolerable. Possibly even fun.

Follow my sideblogs @dysthanasia-series and/or @the-primrose-path-story to get notifications for new chapters and other neat story-related stuff. Check out @coven-archives to see what I'm reblogging from fellow writers. Or just ask to be put on a taglist for a WIP you're interested in.

I welcome asks, prompts, writblr events (Worldbuilding Wednesday, etc.), and any interactions that lead to transmutating Internet strangers into friends. Do tell me about your characters and lore. I want to devour know all of it. Yes, even the obscure facts that never really make it into the story despite hours of research poured into them. Especially those.

That's pretty much it. Feel free to reblog or like this post or invite me into an object you own at the stroke of midnight if you want me to give a follow.

Below the cut you'll find a list of WIPs and links to read them which will increase my power every time you click one. Content advisories are at the top of each work and chapter.

Apophenia

Genre(s): Urban/Paranormal fantasy, vampires, post-apocalyptic

Status: Redraft in progress

Mermaids don't exist. Every agent of the Coven, the organization that researches and governs the supernatural community, knows that. Accepting a classified assignment to investigate sightings along the Broken Coast is just an easy paycheck as far as Isaac Soto is concerned (not to mention another way to avoid dealing with his trauma and relationship issues).

A chance meeting with a charming stranger in a roadside diner changes not only the course of Isaac's assignment but the trajectory of his life. A life now in danger of being cut short unless he figures out how to escape the bloodborn who takes him hostage, a necromancer out to kill both of them, and the corruption at the heart of the organization he thought he believed in.

The Primrose Path

Genre(s): High fantasy, romance/erotica

Status: Rough draft in progress

When his village is taken captive by an enemy nation, Illuminator Ân's priority is to make sure his people survive to fight another day. Faced with everything he's stood against as a priest of Cyanos, god of light and life, Ân prays for the strength to overcome and do what he must. It's not long before he receives signs that his petitions have been heard. Just not by the deity he serves.

Beyond & Between

Genre(s): High fantasy, portal fantasy, whump

Status: Occasional, out-of-order updates

Sail beyond where the seas turn red, until the sky is filled with unfamiliar stars, to the lands between realities. Magic and the power to leave one's old life behind awaits for those brave enough to seek it.

Beyond & Between is a collection of stories set in the strange places settled by ancient people, deities, and creatures from Earth who fell through the cracks.

Whumptober 2022

Each prompt followed by the story series it's set in and the MC. Content guidelines at the start of each story.

[starlit-wanderer]

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆

　　✦　　　.　　.　　　　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　★

Q: What is Charmcasting/ Charm Throwing?

A: It is a form of divination that uses any type of charm that you may find on a bracelet or another piece of jewelry-- such as earrings, or a necklace-- as well as any other small trinkets. These pieces of miniature odds and ends are collected and then used to perform fortune-telling or any other means of divination! You may draw them out of a bag, or throw them onto a mat! There are many different ways to cast and read charms, and it is all highly intuition-based and unique to each reader, as you are encouraged to build your own sets for casting!

⋆⁺₊⋆ Charmcasting as a divinatory art is: ⋆⁺₊⋆

☆ Versatile

☆ Extremely unique to each person

☆ Usually entirely custom-made

☆ Something that can be changed/added to/edited at ANY TIME

Each facet of this form of divination is wildly interchangeable and able to be reused in multiple different formats and setups with the same core pieces/charm set!!

What you need:

✦ Around a dozen or more charms and trinkets

✦ A place to throw them (or a bag/ box to draw from)

……..THAT'S IT!!

Star's Recommendations!:

♡ Interchangeable mats or cloths or bowls with different labeled sections or imagery on the mats that you also can assign meaning to.

♡ Dice (Different shapes, sizes, themes, and colors. Astrology dice!!)

♡ Runes or any other symbol sets

♡ Pieces of trinkets and charms that are extremely personal to you! This can be literally anything small- usually marble-sized, but can be anything from the size of a pea to the size of a small rubber bouncy ball!

So, what's in My charmcasting set? 🔮

♡ Side sets with a dozen or so of the same charm/object

🌟 I keep my multiple sets in drawstring pouches that I hold inside of a cylindrical wine carry-box that I used to keep my tall paintbrushes in! The rolled-up mats I have and plan on adding fit very well in there, wrapped around the bags in the center!

🌠 I cast my charms on lap trays with my mats or on a large flat surface like a table. If the space is smaller, I try to use spots with edges/walls so that my charms don't fall off and get lost! Dice Trays also work for this, and I'm planning on getting some for when I travel!

✨ I have Charm Sets for:

⚝ myself

⚝ others

⚝ spares

⚝ and a jumbo set im currently working on!

✨️ When casting, 10, 15, and 20 seem to be the numbers of charms i use per reading ✨️

⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ✩°｡⋆.・゜゜・✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆・゜゜・．⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩‧

Additional Resources: (these are NOT cited sources, just articles I found and liked and decided to include for more reading material/ alternate means of explanation)

[nerdylizj]

Ms Stem anon here. I received my BS in Biology. As you can imagine the past couple of years have been… fun (is it really when people think you’re part of a big conspiracy, but jokes on them because have they EVER been part of a group project?) Now after working and volunteering for the past 3ish years I’m going back for, hopefully, family therapy. I like helping people face to face. And a lot of my volunteering involved pointing disenfranchised communities and those affected by C19 to resources and services they would otherwise be unaware of. The program I volunteered through also participated in fairs, provided vaccine clinics/gave vouchers, provided testing, amongst other services. My work with children involved a lot of guiding them on how to self regulate and validating their emotions/experiences while also helping them find ways to deal with them in a healthier manners. A big part of it is guiding them towards the safer choices but making sure they feel as if they came to that choice all on their own. It can be mentally taxing at times due to some having some bad home lives but it’s overall very satisfying.

Having a bio degree allows me to better advocate for myself and others medically as well as being able to better understand/scrutinize media reports on research. While I understand why there is a barrier to reading studies to avoid people without the background to misconstrue it, we also allow for misinformation to persist as there is significant scientific illiteracy going on. There should be a way to better communicate with those lacking the education and training we receive.

Spiel aside… the babies will continue to suffer and I support… it makes me a well rounded individual. I’m excited to see what will ultimately happen with them. There are a lot of implications for their, and kids, future. Not only did girly pop marry and procreate with the enemy, he is technically heir to the thrown as will be her children. But hey maybe one day they’ll have all their memories and remember that they were into each other pre-brainwashing. What with their awkward flirting and katara “keeping an eye on him.”

Ooh I did read the fic that inspired yours. Hopefully one day that one will be continued (i hope the author is doing, and does, well regardless of whether they do or don’t continue it).

omg you’ve done so much meaningful work <333 i don’t think the General Public really understands just how hard covid hit already-disenfranchised people/those who experience health disparities. and it still is hitting hard!!! btw one of my besties is a family therapist (liv, tell me i'm right..) and i always admire her tenacity to provide meaningful sessions to her clients even when she’s burnt out or compassion fatigued <3 it is not easy work

i’ll be honest i’m not a fan of (doing the) research but at least i can read and interpret it 😭💞 imho, it is a privilege to be health/scientific literate. i agree with you 100% about misinformation... health and scientific illiteracy is a hugely multi-faceted, societal problem that will take generations to truly change (and a lot of work). not to mention that there are valid concerns for some communities to distrust medicine/science

i think zk may need ur counseling services, a feelings wheel, and time/space to process... too bad there’s a war going on and they are both so dumb JKFEFVJKNMEO

i love catie_writes_things’ fic soo much. i hadn’t read a memory loss fic before so it haunted me many a nights after i first read it. then the zk ghoul took hold of me and here i am... like 220k+ later 😭😭😭😭

I love that you’re considering this career, i wish you all the best of luck in ur grad school apps 💗

[littlest-bugz]

Resolution ; A Sigh Of Relief

a [polyfrag] DID system's experience with resolution (functional multiplicity)

please do not bring syscourse to this post. this post is about our own personal healing journey and is not intended as advice or professional info

TWs: Isolation [heavy], abuse [heavy but not in depth], self harm mention [brief], suicidality mention [brief], unsure of other triggers

In Mid June of 2022, I was diagnosed with DID for the first of two times. Flashback to 2021. I had been in and out of therapy, in my teen years, but after researching my symptoms to try and find a proper care plan for my mental health, I ended up self diagnosing myself with BPD. The view I have always had on therapy and self diagnosis is that it doesn't take a real diagnosis to get the help you need, just use the resources that help you regardless, so I wasn't really hesitant to self diagnose myself [after research obvs]. After i self dx, I decided I would find a trauma informed DBT therapist, since I saw DBT mentioned often as treatment for people with BPD. After a while of researching, I found exactly that in my first therapist as a young adult. She was an amazing mental health professional tbh. She taught me skills that still have use today, and helped me grow, so so much. However, a year into therapy, she asked me to consider the possibility of having DID, and she asked me to reach out to my [potential] alters just to see what would happen. Ofc, I did exactly that. I made a dinky little journal for anyone to write in, as long as they used a sign off or different colored pen. That was when the flood gates opened, alters expressing themselves in the journal, and system awareness was achieved for the second time in our system's history.

Yes, you heard me, for the second time.

The first time system discovery starts for us actually starts sometime in October of 2016 [when I was 12-13]. It was the peak of my abuse, and because of that, I attempted to create an imaginary friend to have someone who knew me, just,,, period tbh. I wanted someone to know me down to my own memories because I was afraid of being alone, and I was tired of having my trauma further ignored and disregarded, even encouraged, by the adults in my life.

I was a deeply, deeply isolated kid, and had no one in my life i could trust or depend on until I was into my late teen years. I didn't have any real friends [and was, instead, abused by my peers], didn't have a family that actively cared about me, the church i was going to had and was abusing me profoundly, and the partner I had treated me like less than human. It was abuse coming from all angles, all facets, of my life. I could not escape the abuse no matter where I turned, so I turned inwards. I wanted someone, anyone who could understand me and listen, especially someone who knew what was happening to me for a fact and wouldn't gaslight every experience I had.

That's when I ''created'' 💙, but mind you, I didn't actually create him. He was, actually, his own whole dude before I ''created'' him, and he was NOT someone who would comfort me gently like I had wanted him to be. He was, instead, a sarcastic, blunt guy who only comforted me when things got actively tough. At that time, he had even fronted more than once to prevent stupid decisions I did, and it actually marked the first period of concerning black out amnesia. HOWEVER, through ''creating'' 💙, I got in contact with more of our system members [specifically 🎸,🧣,🌵 and 💤, who all are active members to this day, still fronting from time to time]. Our communication flourished back then, and everything was well documented, down to journal entries I had written about 💙's ''creation''. We had drawings and journals, which were all thrown away or deleted in 2019.

Speaking of, our communication with the system fell apart in 2019, shortly after the body's birthday [which is usually very traumatic for our system]. It was a complete host change brought on by the CEO of our system that ruined communication. It left that new host, 🐛. Confused, and without any memory of our life before then, 🐛 forgot everything about the system. Literally down to the name of 💙. All communication was cut, and all prior knowledge of our system was disposed of because our journals and drawings were thrown out by an alter who was heavily influenced by the CEO. CEO did not want us to know we were a system, and he had been dormant for years at that point. At least until he [somehow] got triggered and saw what was going on. 🐛 was the alter that later got in contact with everyone in 2021 and got us diagnosed the first time. Thankfully, the supposed creation of 💙 was what made communication pick up again smoothly, and we were, once again, a tightknit group of alters sharing a body. We're still like that, for the most part.

Our upbringing heavily impacted how we go about our recovery process, and how we will continue to recover. So when we entered therapy with a DID specialist, we had already radically accepted our systemhood after being diagnosed once. We have a very much 'your opinion of me doesn't matter to me' type of thinking, at least in regards to anyone other than a medical professional. Ofc, DID specialist was like 'yeah, I can tell lol' and diagnosed me shortly thereafter. After being diagnosed with DID a second time by the specialist, we were asked what path in recovery we wanted, and to think and talk about amongst ourselves. The big question every recovering system faces. Did we want to pursue final fusion or not?

Overwhelmingly for our system, we wanted to aim for resolution [aka functional multiplicity]. HOWEVER, there is nothing wrong with final fusion. A lot of people actually fear monger about it amongst the CDD community. So let me say that again: Final Fusion is NOT a bad thing and is a valid way to recover. Just because it is not our path doesn't mean it isn't someone else's. Here are two posts that give some decent info on Final Fusion: [post one] [post two]. I can find more if need be, but that isn't what this post is about. This is simply to reaffirm that final fusion is nothing to be scared of, and a 110% valid path of recovery. Our experience doesn't align with final fusion, but since I mentioned it briefly, I thought I would talk about it for a second.

Fusion moment aside, We have, since mid 2022 for sure, felt like we don't have a solid host, and we have always felt that way because of the cycle of hosts. The body holds a good number of us, that's for sure, and because of how many of us there are, we have no solid one host. There are frequent fronters, sure, but nobody is a host in the traditional, typically talked about sense. For this reason, we feel that we have no core alter [which we don't, unsurprisingly], and we found it unfair to each other that we take away our freedom to express ourselves as alters. Like yeah, we are parts of a whole, but there was never a 'core' individual. There was never an 'original'. We were pretty much destined to form DID. It is what it is, but because of that, we feel we don't have an alter from which all the others split from. I'm just a collective of parts that never even had the chance to connect to each other. Most of us feel so individual from each other because we were a highly partitionary system with no memory sharing or knowledge of each other. I honestly think if what happened in 2016 didn't happen, I would've only known my system through the 2021 diagnosis, and it would not have been as easy to pick communication back up. Things are wildly different now in regards to amnesiac barriers, but when we did find each other, we were our own people expressing ourselves through different [covert] means.

Due to feeling so separated and individualistic, Resolution was, ultimately, the best decision for our system, and since having made this decision and began recovery, our life has actually become something worth living, if that makes sense. I mean Internally and mentally. We function together as a team, and it's a great thing to witness tbh. It's taken a lot of hard work with a lot of disagreements in system, but for a life time ahead of me, it's worth it. I'm finally starting to love all of me, all of us. It's been hard, so incredibly hard, and we still don't always get along. There are still disagreements, votes that spark heated discussions, but that's just what happens when you're sharing a body with so many folks.

Of course, u see me use I/Me pronouns because we all acknowledge the body and the role it has in our collective life. When I say I, when I say me, it is the acknowledgement of the body's role in our life. The Body is the part of us that makes us whole, what we live through, and what makes us a team and family [in-sys family members at least because as a whole we don't see each other as family]. We are so incredibly grateful for the body and the collective Identity we live through. It is a sigh of relief to finally have come this far into our healing where things are finally getting better for us. I'm healing all parts of me, and I am authentically myself by being a system. We love the life we live finally. Even if we're still living with abusers, we know that once we're out of here, it's the final step to our trauma recovery and what will make us free to be ourselves.

Trauma is bound to happen again in my lifetime, re-traumatization will happen too. I'm young [for an adult at least], and, like I mentioned briefly, I'm still in an abusive situation. For this reason, we are learning to cope with day to day stress, as well as preparing our coping tool box for future traumas. At this stage in our healing, we have attained near entire co-consciousness, and have learned to share daily and important memories or notes from alter to alter, subsystem to subsystem. Sometimes its just one fronter and the CEO or the whole Crew and Co., yet CEO makes sure things get to everyone. No longer do we live our day to day confused on what's happened, what our past is and who we are, if we've eaten, taken our meds, showered, if we have an appointment ect. Now when switches happen, things are not confusing, and smooth with no sort of amnesiac barrier. Afterall, a good 97% of us are co-con in some capacity, and even then, we're able to memory share day to day memories. It's like whoever is best equipped to deal with a situation fronts.

Some of us don't want to share our trauma memories with each other entirely due to it's intensity, so we instead talk about it amongst ourselves and make peace with our trauma that way [with the help of our therapist]. It's like group therapy lol. Most of us are just content with the knowledge of not fully knowing everything, and having worked in trauma recovery for years now, our past traumas affects our day to day a lot less [any disruptions now are from the collective disorders we have and our living situation]. The peace that comes from being okay with not knowing is relieving, and the alters who hold the bulk of the trauma have started to work through their traumas.

Sharing trauma memories in our system can cause body and other kinds of flashbacks, panic and extreme distress, and can even trigger self harm and suicidality in some of our alters. Almost always, with trauma memories, its more than one alter getting triggered. I like to think of it like sculk sensors from Minecraft [minecraft moment]. When one is triggered, nearby alters in front and co-con get triggered like a wave effect, but it has a lot to due with similar types of traumas or being fragments of the same trauma. It doesn't stop it from happening. What we've done is worked on helping trauma holders cope and making them 'unstuck' in the trauma. Memory Sharing with trauma was once, and still is to an extent, dangerous for us, but the memory sharing via talking with each other, rather than give up the memories themselves, has caused us to even out and begin to work through the actual trauma, work through everything we have been through. It may sound flawed, but it works for us.

After having achieved a grasp on resolution, we've taken notice to our collective disorders and experiences, like our psychosis symptoms [from an unknown origin] and OCD. A lot of what we thought were persecutors ended up being our OCD, so things got quieter in that way. This helped us to work on those mental health problems and cultivate a further sense of peace. We also were able to start to work on other therapy methods that cater to our flavor of personality disorder. Achieving Resolution to even the degree we have has been phenomenal, and it only gets better from here once we reach full resolution.

None of this is to say resolution will or should be your path in healing, so please take what I say with a grain of salt. This is our experience with our healing journey, and nothing is the same from CDD system to CDD system. I just wanted to post and ramble about my progress because I am proud of myself and our progress!!! Obviously, I am not a representative for anyone other than myself. It's just so nice to be able to actually see my progress, see our progress. I also feel like I don't see many people talk about late stage DID recovery in any way, resolution or final fusion. Honestly, its even nice to just label our progress as being in late stage recovery. I'm glad to be me, as a system, while also dancing my way down the path of healing [lol].

Not sure if anyone is curious, but I'm always open to answering questions about my experiences with resolution as a polyfrag DID system. nothing intrusive about trauma, but I'm down to talk about the aspects of resolution and stuff. Just know I'm not a psychiatrist or other professional, and I don't speak for any other system but my own.