#odl writes

[onedemoniclilly]

There's a day I can't say the names of my feelings I try to greet them like old friends They turn me away from the door And I shiver in the abyssal maw

There's a time tissue shines like butterfly wings Dampened with the midnight mist Frozen solid with the morning frost Crunching beneath the trembling fingers of the dead

There's a moment weeps rip into the silence And silence engulfs the birds once more My mouth yearns for the sound to return To let the unknown define itself

Sometimes I have no name Nothing I respond to Sometimes I have plenty Yet not one that feels like me

2023/12/09

[onedemoniclilly]

ill

being scared is a symptom

how far can you push before you cross a line

will you flinch, stare down a void

of nothingness that means everything to your heart

breathing is a treatment

swallowing the feelings written on the back of a bottle

before they well up in a series of doctor visits

you know you don't need

crying is ill-advised

drink more water they say

it's impractical surely

reaching for a lifeline while you die inside

speaking is a drug

why speak when they don't listen?

before the addiction sets in

and force sobriety on you once more

thinking is a machine

beeping next to you

your dreams, your conscious moments

it never switches off

what do i do doctor?

the monster inside screams

shush now, child

and let the adults decide

2023/09/15

[onedemoniclilly]

sometimes i lie in bed and i think everything is just in my mind. and sometimes i believe it's all a lie.

sometimes when i wake up nothing matters anymore. and sometimes it's just me and the wide abyss.

sometimes i decide not to think. and sometimes i live through a day only to wither away.

2023/10/12